#she was having a nice dream

[sicksucculentz]

I was just thinking about something.

What if murder drones could purr but it seriously sounds like they are growling. A deep loud rumbling sound mixed with a ticking. It can echo in a room it’s so loud.

Of course N does it far more than J or V and of course Uzi has far more time to recognize the sound as normal and not aggression but someone like Thad who’s new to even fist bumping/high fiveing a murder drone thinks N is growling at him and reacts in fear for a couple of weeks, confusing N.

After learning what it really means he deemed it “rumblies” like a N is a Rottweiler.

[cozylittleartblog]

noodle stopper figures are SO cute 💙

[somnimagus]

My page for @destinytriofanzine! I drew something about kids always dreaming of far off places

[id in alt!]

[auspicioustidings]

Graves who sends a package to the 141, an apology all wrapped in a bow. It would have been better if it was a fucking bomb because when they find a girl inside the box they aren't equipped to deal with it.

She's well trained, all gussied up with a collar and pretty, lacy underwear that hides absolutely nothing. So eager to please, blinking awake, smiling and immediately in a pretty stress position with her ass on her ankles and her knees splayed wide.

And they can't take advantage. They shouldn't. They're the good guys, they don't use girls who have been fucking broken into little sex dolls. It's sick that they're getting hard from the sight. Price hurriedly covers her up with his jacket, tells her it's ok now and that she'll be looked after. She just smiles because of course they'll look after her. She has absolute blind trust in her new masters as she has been taught to. If they hurt her, then it's only to help her in a way her little mind can't understand.

It's torture of the worst kind. She wants to please, wants to warm Gaz's cock while he is sitting playing video games as his dolly, wants to rim Soap out in the showers to help him while he's stroking out some tension as his obedient toy, wants to cook a full roast dinner dressed for Price and offer herself up to give him babies as his perfect little wife, wants to give Ghost a place to put all that anger and violence he's itching to unleash as his stupid fucking slut. And every time they have to gently stop her, have to look into those big doe eyes as she apologises for not being good enough, not being worthy enough.

She screams and cries bloody murder anytime they try to get her off of base, get her into a place that can try and undo all of that conditioning. It's bad enough that the doctors say they can't take her, not without keeping her drugged into unconsciousness the whole time. They need to try and help her, need to keep attempting to get through to the human underneath the doll. Once they do that then there's a chance she could recover and handle being away from them.

They're good men, but it's just such a stressful job. They're good men, but it's really quite cruel to not let her earn the praise she wants so desperately. They're good men, but it's rude to not accept a gift. They're good men, right up until they aren't.

[samualcheese]

had a shit day today but atleast i got that tpot 13 dawg on me

[msfcatlover]

Commissioned the amazing @magua-vida to draw my original Princesses, The Dancer & The Dream! I'm absolutely delighted with how they came out, they both look so pretty and bursting with personality!

For anyone who doesn't want to click through, you get the Dancer if you unlock the Princess's cuff & die of a heart attack, making her flighty but concerned, fussing over your health & safety. The Dream is Dancer's unique Chapter 3, who you get if you fall asleep in the cabin with Dancer fussing over you, and is smotheringly protective to the point of aggression & possessiveness while acting manipulatively sweet & fragile.

She just wants to take care of you... even (or especially) if it means chaining you up to keep you safe.

[francy-sketches]

'why does show joffrey look like that he's supposed to be handsome' no sorry there's so many ugly/not conventionally attractive characteracters being prettywashed I think the rare cases of deyassification are based as hell. I like his weird little face ❤

[oneluckydragon]

Thinking about how these two met. Get adopted, idiot.

More human!Echo.

[puppppppppy]

Was nobody gonna warn me that I would fall a little bit in love with every character in Stardew

[cern1cal0]

emile in wonderland

[cent-scratchnsniff]

here together

[wlw-cryptid]

had a dream about laying in bed propped up on pillows while a butch laid on his stomach next to me w a laptop . spent the whole time just scratchin his back in loopy circles through his nice black shirt easy and comfortable while he told me about something smart

[yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit]

Both my parents actually suffer from HORRID emotional dysregulation and are prone to snapping and going into rages. My sister is the same way tbh. I am now realizing this is why they are constantly baffled by the question of whether or not I am mad at them.

I don't have external meltdowns.

I could. I don't let it happen.

I keep my rage on the inside and stay pretty quiet about it. It's just as strong as theirs [physically shaking nose bleed from high blood pressure kind of bad], but like as a kid I saw how terrifying it was to be around [dad breaking dishes, mom putting our lawn chairs into walls] and I just internalized that I wasn't going to wear that anger on the outside.

So my mother genuinely cannot tell if I am just being quiet or if I am silently hearing the dial-up noises of pure rage. This has lead her to both making strong and confident statements like "You are a pacifist who would never hurt a fly U.U" but also acting like I am secretly dangerous maybe... It's because she has never seen me snap.

She knows what her temper is like [throwing chairs through walls], she knows what my father's temper is like [pick up child and toss out door], and she can tell I am being tested, but she doesn't know what happens when I snap or where that breaking point is.

Her -perhaps unhinged- solution to this, my whole life, has been to do things that should obviously enrage me or shut me down completely, like ignoring important boundaries, repeatedly, punishing me for expressing emotions or needs at all, etc... And then to constantly ask me if I am angry with her when I get too quiet [right after near directly telling me to shut up].

It has occurred to me now, they have never once seen me lose my temper, so they literally just can't tell if I am angry at them. My sister is easy, my mother fights and screams with my sister constantly, my mother understands this. My mother doesn't have any grasp of feelings or boundaries that are not screamed at her [apparently, and I fear my sister is the same way]. Her and my sister are close despite constant fucking fighting because they understand each other.

They are trying to get me to engage the same way and it is not working. I realize now that this has been hard for them.

I was so successfully taught to suppress my emotions, by being punished for any outburst, that rage quiet looks the same as any other kind of quiet from the outside. To them anyway.

I did tell her. For the record. I used my words. I did tell her very calmly that my response to rage, in order to avoid doing the things that terrified me as a child, was to simply leave [the autistic urge to GTFO]. When a situation or person causes too much of the dial-up rage noise, I simply extract myself from that situation, up to and including never speaking to a person again. I explained this calmly. I explained it calmly 100 times and I explained that I explain myself calmly as my rage response 1-5 [also pretty much every other negative emotion tbh], and I told her that what came next was me simply opting out and fucking off. I told her this. I couldn't understand why she never took me seriously, or why she never fucking understood.

I couldn't understand what made her like this.

But it's the same problem I have with everyone else multiplied by a factor of 10.

If I am explaining myself calmly, they can't understand that it's actually serious or that I am actually upset. ESPECIALLY because they read me as "female" and women "aren't that rational" so if I am not screaming and crying about something, which I never do, people assume I can't be upset and it isn't serious.

And then after having my boundaries ignored too many times despite having calmly explained how and why it's a problem [shaking inside or not]... I leave. I leave and everyone gets upset like this is unexpected behaviour, even though I told them 50 times that is how I would respond if they kept doing *the thing.*

And for neurotypical people especially, they are expecting there to be a disconnect between what someone says they need or feel and what their actually boundaries and feelings are, and they expect the latter to be demonstrated with emotions. Telling them bluntly you do not function that way somehow never helps?

My mother isn't just looking for normal yelling or a few tears to know I am serious, whether or not I do those either [I don't], she's looking for an explosion to know there's a problem at all.

Fucked if I know how she proceeds through life this way in general or if this is just her expectation of her own kids???

And I couldn't get why my mother couldn't read my emotions and didn't seem to think I have any. It's because she's testing for the rage limit to see where my 'actual' limit is instead of taking my word for it. Never the fuck mind that she could simply *not* test at my boundaries instead of letting me have them. Separate issue.

I couldn't figure out what made her *like this*

She's expecting me to throw a giant meltdown violent tantrum at people when I have 'actually' had enough. Maybe she got away with those being like 5'4" in another time, but I am the size of the average man, I do not get to have giant screaming rages, whether or not people perceive me consciously as a woman, and least of all because a lot of people -at least unconsciously- read me as 'masculine' or at least always "they guy" of the situation compared to all other women and some men [bigger stronger and more rational, more able to just absorb the damage and let it go so the less rational screaming/crying one doesn't have to be dealt with]. Even if it was in me to be willing to terrify people [usually never], there are such limited instances where it wouldn't just blow back on me. Potentially very dangerously.

I am going to be the quiet calm one. You are going to have to let me use my words, bitch.

So she kept ignoring my boundaries until I had to cut her out of my life, and she probably doesn't understand and probably thinks it feels sudden -after 36 long years of bullshit- abrupt and unfair.

But I told her hundreds of times.

I probably should have just screamed at her.

[localgardenweed]

The worms in my brain rn

[thequeerlibrarian]

.

[sindar-princeling]

I've been anxious for so long and so brave about it this year and I'm really hoping it will allow me to not have to brave for a while because. jesus fucking christ