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malecftw · 5 years ago

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Distractions

A/n: so this was an idea I’d been playing with for a while. It’d been sitting in my drafts for like a month and rn I was just feeling best friends to lovers, a slow cute fic sooooo that’s what came out lol tadaaa. I’ve never really written for David or the Vlog Squad before but let me know if you liked this, maybe I’ll write more in the future. Hope you like it :)

Word count: 1814

Warnings: Idk if Jeff being rejected counts as a warning but here we are, I mentioned the word vagina and idk why but in the context it seemed weird but also okay so yh lmfao y am i acting like im 12

Masterlist.

The LA air was soft and warm, making a strand of hair fall out of your loose bun and tickle your cheek. LA seemed quiet at this time of day, the sun was beginning to set, golden hour was upon you. Lana Del Rey was playing on the background, her deep, soft voice flowing out into the crisp summer air through the open windows. The smell of food made it’s way into your nose, your stomach beginning to rumble at the thought of dinner. Heath, Scott, and Jeff were having a beer at the barbecue whilst Jason was grilling the various types of meat. Kristen, Mariah, Carly, Erin, and Corinna were setting out white plastic chairs in a circle on the grass. Rosé was being spilled, laughs were had and a carefree feeling overtook you.

You still couldn’t believe this was your life. You were living in one of the most famous, loved places on earth surrounded by good friends who were always looking out for you. Your daydream was cut short when you got nudged in the side. Your head turned around to see Zane standing next to you, leaning on the glass just like you were. “What’s up?” “Not much.” He nodded and directed his eyes to the skyline of LA. “So when are you going to tell him?” He asked, not taking his eyes off of the beautiful view before you. “Probably never.” Your nails clicked slightly against your plastic cup, preferring a soft drink before having a glass of wine with dinner. “Why are you so hesitant. You’re perfect for each other.” You shrugged, being uncharacteristically comfortable with the topic around Zane. “I don’t know. I’ve been flirting with Jeff. I’m just going to look like a slut if I fess up now.” He clicked his tongue at your answer. “Please y/n. You were never in a committed relationship with Jeff. Hell, you never even kissed. He’ll get over it. And we know you, none of us would ever put your name and the word slut in the same sentence.”

A sigh escaped your mouth yet you didn’t have a chance to reply when Heath called out to Zane. He quickly squeezed your arm in comfort before heading over to the boys near the barbecue. You pushed yourself off of the glass and made your way inside. Enough with the overthinking, it was time to make yourself useful. “Nat, can I help?” Natalie looked up at you, pausing mixing the dressing and the salad for a second. “Sure y/n. Could you bring this over to the yard, just put it on the table.” She said with a smile and pushed the salad bowl into your hands. You just nodded and did what she asked. The notification sound of your phone distracted you as you set the bowl on the table and while you quickly replied you felt an arm being swung over your shoulder. “What’s up y/n? Why so quiet?” Jeff said, a silly smile on his face as his eyes screened over your expression. “Not now Jeff.” You shrugged off his arm and started walking away when he grabbed your arm, concerned for your obvious distress. “Hey what’s wrong?”

“Is everything okay here guys?” David walked up, noticing your tense figure and Jeff’s already apologetic one. He didn’t even know what was wrong but was already stressed thinking he was the cause. You looked back and forth between the two guys. Life was playing another trick on you and frankly, you were sick of it. Why couldn’t you just go for the obvious choice? You had a beautiful man right in front of you willing to take things to the next level but no. Instead, you had to fall for the one dude that wouldn’t notice an eager vagina if it slapped him across the face.

As you were having this inner dialogue with yourself the two guys still looked at you, confused by your off behavior. “Nothing is okay David, just leave me alone.” You headed for the living room and David took your words like a man. “What the fuck did I do?” He shouted as he ran after you. “Nothing. That’s the problem.”

“Wait what? Y/n what the fuck?” Of course, he didn’t get it. You hadn’t made a move since you were too busy distracting yourself with Jeff. “I just... Just... Just drop it okay. It’s about me, myself and I don’t worry about it.” “Sure doesn’t sound like it.” You rolled your eyes but were secretly grateful for everyone staying outside to give you some privacy. You even notice Nat sneak out of the kitchen, feeling the uncomfortable switch in the room when you walked in.

“Y/n. Just talk to me. Remember that time when you accidentally spilled glue in my hair and we had to shave my head? Didn’t snitch on you then. I looked like a bald man child. I still didn’t snitch. And let me tell you, it wasn’t a look.” David said in a cute attempt to make you feel better. “Of course you didn’t snitch. It was your own fault. Who the hell decided to smack my hands with their head while I was holding an opened bottle of kids glue.” “I’m sorry I forgot to turn on my spidey sense, else I would’ve known you were standing right behind me before I stood up.” “It’s not my fault you were shorter than me.” David placed his hands over his heart, jokingly looking offended. “Ouch.” He teasingly took a couple of steps closer to you causing him to tower over you. “Not anymore though. Now you’re tiny.” You look up at him, arms crossed, confused and annoyed by your feelings for the big man child in front of you. “Now, tiny, are you actually gonna tell me what’s up or am I going to have to keep you hostage until you do?

A pressed sigh leaves your lips. Now or never. His expression turns more serious when he sees your big eyes gloss over. “Hey whatever it is, we can work it out. You and me.” “I’m not so sure about that.” “Well I am.” “I just don’t want to mess things up between us. You’re my best friend.” David immediately knew where this was going and a wide smile formed on his lips. “And?” He said teasingly, eager for the moment in which you’d fess up the same thing he’d been feeling for a while now. “Ugh David you’re a pain.” You say as you softly poke his stomach with your index fingers. “But am I going to be your pain?” His voice has turned hoarse, excited yet on edge. He never dreamed of going there with you. He never had those feelings for you. Until one day, he started seeing you in a different light. He couldn’t pinpoint one moment, it just slowly happened. At first he’d thought it was a silly random idea his mind for some reason made up, but he couldn’t help but think about it from time to time. Then he started getting used to the idea of you two together. It grew on him. Suddenly it didn’t seem weird, it didn’t seem awkward. It just seemed right. But then you’d started flirting with Jeff and David knew he had no chance.

Until now.

You swallowed loudly, your hands pausing, staying put on his sides. “If you want to be.” He nodded slightly, it was the only answer he needed before leaning in. He paused, needing your permission. He needed to know this was it. That this was something you both chose. You slightly pressed your fingers into the clothed skin of his sides, allowing him to connect your lips. It’s wasn’t earth-shattering, it wasn’t filled with sparks and fireworks. It was sweet, soft and gentle. It was what you both wanted. Needed. It wasn’t filled with sexual desire or incredible passion. It was the confirmation you’d both been waiting for. You’d found your person. Ironically enough, he’d been there all along. Love was a big word, you’d known you loved David for as long as you could remember. But back then, you loved him as your best friend.

You both pulled away smiling like idiots. You could see the love and happiness on his face, but he also looked pensive. “So what about Jeff?” You nodded. Of course, it looked really bad. “I like Jeff. I thought I could learn to love him. I needed to learn to love him. I was still waiting for the click in my brain, but it never happened which is why I never took it to the next level. It wouldn’t have been fair to him. He deserves better than a girl whose heart isn’t really in it.”

David’s eyes moved from you to something behind you so you turned around. Of course, like in any other predictable movie or show, Jeff was stood right there, leaning against the window frame. Your mouth fell open, You wouldn’t blame him if he was angry even if he didn’t seem that way right now. “Don’t worry about it y/n. It’s okay.” His thick New York accent filled the room. In a few big steps, he was stood right in front of you, looking to David quickly before grinning. His arms wrapped around your neck and kept you in a playful headlock, messing up your hair as he laughed. “You respected me enough to not go there with me. I appreciate that. At least now I still get to tease you and prank you. David’s lost those privileges.” Relief washed over you. This was the most drama-free ending to this situation you never thought you’d get.

David put his hands in the air, looking happy and relieved as well that things went as smooth as they did cause let’s face it,... They rarely do. “Hey, as long as I get to film it that’s cool.” He said laughing and you smacked his chest. Jeff let go of you and shot you and David a smile before joining the others in the backyard. David sighed as he took you in his arms, looking down at you before bringing both of your attention to your intertwined fingers. “You ready baby?” He asked, voice high and excited to show off what had been his for the longest time but never really realized until now. You nodded and slowly made your way into the backyard. Jeff probably already told everyone since not a single soul seemed to question what had happened. “Yes, baby girl you finally did it!” Zane shouted, holding up his beer and everyone cheered.

The smiles on each one of their faces only made it more clear to you.

This had never been a matter of if.

This had been a matter of when.

#jeff wittek imagine #david dobrik imagine #david dobrik #david dobrik x reader #david dobrik blurb #vlog squad imagines #vlog squad #jeff wittek x reader #jeff wittek

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rusticrevivals · 6 years ago

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This one will be quick and painless, promises the dentist. But no, it will, because I MUST do some basic housework and get back outside to major weeding. I am only in for a mid-morning break for about an hour, which I am sure our minister would say I ought to be spending in church. We just keep slogging away here, though, rarely knowing what day of the week it actually is!

Mom/Joy and I are the ones weeding. Mom does about 2 hours per day on the veg garden and it’s looking pretty great right now – something showing in all 52 rows! I do about 20 min. weeding per day in the veg garden and 30 minutes every 3rd day or so on the flowers for the wedding. In addition, I water for an hour and a half every 2nd or 3rd day when there is no rain called for. But still, it’s mostly thanks to Mom that the vegetables are coming along (Ontario and the u.k. won’t think this is ‘coming along’ in the first week of July, but considering the dry and cold spring and the HEAT WAVE of the last week, we think this isn’t too bad).

Since Richard has been working hard on the Rustic Revivals cabin/shop, expecting it will be used as a backdrop for some wedding photos, I’ve been mostly trying to keep the animals organized all day and into the long evenings. They are spoiled, because we cater to them – it started last year when Cammie and Chevy both came to us very ill and it took most of last summer for Chevy at least to fully recover. Thus we are always letting them out, letting them in, changing their pastures, giving them fresh water and soaked beet pulp, scattering scratch or compost for the chickens despite them being ‘free range’,

and in last week’s heat wave, giving Chevy several hose-pipe baths. We even bought them a fan for the long afternoons when they are standing around inside because the type of barn we unfortunately have (quonset) is not at all like the old bank barns I’m used to having, where half of it is under a hill and there’s always a hay loft above for insulating, thus keeping the animals cool in summer. So the chickens stay outside all day, finding shade where they can, and even recently learning to fly a bit and to land in unexpected places. Mom just saw this one ‘experimenting’ in the orchard:

Meanwhile, the kids spend the nights and the early morning hours with their mother, and then we separate them for the rest of the day so I can milk Cammie in the evenings:

The twins are getting big and very curious, happily leaving their frantic mother for long periods of time, which drives her nuts. (We have had to tie her again because she was caught eating wedding flowers earlier this week and I was furious. The floral situation isn’t doing as well as I’d hoped in the first place, but I certainly didn’t need a big stubborn goat to come along an top the blossoms off 11 plants in one foul swoop!) We’ve also had a number of neighbours come to visit the animals. Greta, (age93) just up the hill from us, was wheeled down just a few days out of hospital to spend some time with the cuddliest:

When the weather is very hot, Chevy leads the livestock parade back to the barn where he likes to lie down in the stall (he does this more in summer than he did all winter!) Meanwhile Cammie takes the twins on a tour of other places she isn’t allowed!

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The milking hasn’t been going terribly well. First Cammie kicked and hollered and carried on, so we read up on different methods of preventing or at least decreasing this (ie: more food, soft-hobbling, letting one kid out in view, etc). She’s finally stopped the ‘freaking out’ and putting her foot into my sterile bucket of milk, but she only allows us to have so much milk and then she ‘closes up’ and ‘keeps back’ the rest for her twins for later. The milking in the morning was stopped because no one (incl. Chevy and the chickens) were getting any rest in the night hours of separation. But the evening milking means they aren’t ‘off her’ for as long, so the milk situation is minimal at the moment. I did, however, manage to make cheese one morning this week. Here are the various stages of “Quick Goat’s Milk Cheese” – just bring to 180 degrees, add lemon juice to make it curdle, strain in cheese cloth for an hour and VOILA! Delicious, but it only lasted the one meal on our spinach salad (from our garden. Sad to say, though – even those eggs aren’t from our own chickens yet!) Click to enlarge if desired:

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I also tried to make mint jelly again this week, as we have such a large mint patch. Two years ago when I made it it turned out beautifully, but for some reason – perhaps the heat wave? Perhaps my Certo was too old? – it hasn’t set properly. I was experimenting with little jars which, as ‘lime green’ is one of the two colours for Carriann and Matt’s wedding, might end up on the reception tables for people to help themselves to little spoonfuls of, on the side of their meatballs (delicious!) (To make it less bright green, I just added some yellow food colouring to the regular green). I bought new Certo and will try this all again on a cooler day:

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Also these last few weeks, besides the regular bread and cookie-baking, iced-tea and lemonade-making (and just regular meal-making which I’m getting sick of doing – why can’t I just be a genie and blink my eyes and have those done?), I did more dog biscuits and some purple and green mints for the wedding. I’ve mentioned how to do the homemade dog biscuits before – just put a lot of meat and egg-based leftovers on a big tray with some oil and lots of flour sprinkled over it and bake the heck out of it until it’s crisp! (If you’re really interested in how I do this because you want to make your own and save a LOT of money, just contact me and I’ll give you my step-by-step ‘recipe’).

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The buttercream mints turned out quite well, I think – I made enough for the wedding guests to have about 10 each, if they so wish! There are lots of recipes and Youtube directions on these online, so no need for me to say more other than:

Something else I have to ‘brew up’ quite regularly is bug spray – both for we mammals, and for the veg plants in the garden. The latter one is Dawn dishsoap ( a spoonful) with vinegar and baking soda and has seemed to work fairly well. I use my own homemade apple cider vinegar – what’s left from last year, anyway (And believe me, I HATE all this plastic, but at least all the jugs are recycled from something else – or WILL be recycled into something else!)

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Our bug spray for us and Chevy (and Cammie when she’s willing, which isn’t often. Besides, I don’t want her milk to taste like vinegar!) is veg oil, Dawn and the ACV. So, the same as for the garden but without the baking soda. It and our masks/facenets keep the blackflies at bay a little better, but Chevy is eaten alive by horseflies and deerflies also, so I had to break down this week and buy some chemically-enhanced equine spray which has helped him not come in with great bloody sores, poor guy! So much for being purely organic around here, then! (Also, I’m going to have to ‘dust’ the broccoli, I’m afraid! And there’s some weird bugs on one of our crabapple trees…grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr….)

Richard was hard at work on the cabin at the back of the barn these past weeks, but he also finally got a garden gate on the chicken wire fence we erected around the vegetables. Nice and rustic, this:

But most rustic and lovely of all is the fabulous work he’s done re-siding the Rustic Revivals new shop (opening – ? maybe in the autumn! The inside needs a lot of work done on it still…) We used the strapping that was under the metal siding to make trim, which I protected with urethane yesterday so it will hopefully stay the contrasting colour. Here’s the ‘before’:

And here are the lovely ‘afters’. Sooooo in love with this, and there’s lots more trim and decorating I’ll be playing with on the front, you can bet! The door is so wonderfully ‘shabby chic’ with chippy-paint that I’m leaving it as is for now. I just need to get some really white birch sticks for in the barrels, rather than the less-white poplar that are in there at the moment, and it will tie the white from the door in so much more!

The two sides had lovely cedar shakes under the metal, so we didn’t even have to do much to them. Look carefully and EWE may even see I’m not ‘kidding’ around!

This one will be quick and painless, promises the dentist. But no, it will, because I MUST do some basic housework and get back outside to major weeding.

#barnboard siding #biscuits #bug spray #buttercream mints #doe #easy goat cheese #goat #homemade #horse #kids #mint jelly #organic #Rustic Revivals #rustic revivals shop #wedding on the farm

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throwawayaccountbcitsobviou-blog · 6 years ago

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I hate K. Winters

Throw away account since it will be obvious why soon enough. I just have to vent about this woman. She is the fucking worst. I’m going to be as vague as possible for obvious reasons. You’ll know who I’m talking about, I’m sure, if you know who she is from online.

i hate her. Why? let me write you a book.

I actually had no idea she was on youtube until very recently, though it doesn’t shock me. It’s what pushed me to write this.

1.)If she finds you on social media, she will stalk it to find anything she deems offensive. No fucking joke.

She will screen shot any and everything you say, if she thinks it’s offensive and send it to your supervisor.

Had a guy get written up for making a joke about beating his girlfriend (he was referring to them playing a video game, I thiiink it was SSB) it was an obvious joke about the fighting game, it had a screen shot of the game and everything. I haven’t seen him recently so he may have been fired or quit.

2.) . She thinks she’s the boss of everyone regardless of where you are in the building.

Apparently, you have to have written permission slips from your supervisor if she sees you on your phone or smoking anywhere deemed a break area. Had her ask my coworkers if they were on break and how long were they on break and does *** know they’re down there? How about mind your business.

3.) She smells like a wet, moldy towel left on the bottom of the hamper.

Okay, this is a petty one but it really is that pungent. I hate having to deal with her cause it’s a consistent thing. No one wants to deal with her because of it. Also, she has old person farts that she has no issue ripping quietly while youre at her desk. It’s like, I’m not stupid, I have a nose. My Oma is 94 and lives on a diet of fish and aged cheese and her odor is not as bad as that!

4.) . She treats cute, young ladies here badly

If youre young, attractive or flirty she will zero in on you. She will make snarky comments about you. Look down her nose like she’s somehow superior. I realize it’s a bitter thing, she’s not exactly an attractive woman but there’s no need to shit talk just because you’re jealous of their looks. Been a couple times I found myself stuck small talking with her where she only talks about *** and she’s just a dumb stereotype and how did she get this job etc etc..

5.) Two of my coworkers tried to convince her not to go to a party the company was having.

No one and I mean no one there likes her. We had a party and two people I know tried to nudge her into not going. She mentioned something else was on the same day and they tried to get her to go to that other thing. We wanted just one party where her smelly ass didn’t cast judgmental looks or make back handed compliments to people. WE ended up leaving soon after she showed up and headed to a pub.

6.) . She’s on her phone on social media all day, so shes’s basically being paid to play on her phone.

Every time I see her, her face is in her phone. No, it’s not work. Trust me on this.

7.) . She’ll talk with authority bout everything and if you prove her wrong or tell her she’s wrong she’ll never correct herself.

One of the very first conversations I had with her involved something I hold 2 degrees in and her zero. Instead of admitting wrong, she still acted like I had no idea what I was talking about, pretended like she was getting a phone call on her cell and excused herself. I knew I didn’t like her after that.

8.) . She thinks since she has a DR. in front of her name, you are below her and clearly she is the superior one.

I’ve lost track of the number of times she’d talk with authority about a law or something in the news that’s completely false, but always doubles down. Bonus points if she tells you VOX is a reputable news outlet. Bitch, you’re a doctor you should know better.

9.) She’s been caught stealing food from the fridge.

I heard this second hand, so it may not be true but given her size, I wouldn’t be surprised.

10.) . Speaking of food, her diet is awful.

Yes, she’s one of those people that brings in smelly foods that stink up a whole floor/wing/department. Unhealthy shit to boot, yet still sneers at the thin lady eating a salad minding her own business.

11.) . She talks to parents about her dog in *that way*

raising a kid and owning a puppers isn’t the same thing. Stop acting like it is.

12.) . She ‘corrected’ a coworker who is an ex-muslim about his own personal experience.

I don’t know how the topic came up (I wasn’t there), but they were talking about Islam and he expressed he left the faith for some reasons and was tired/scared of his extremist family and that’s why he moved to this country. She interrupted him multiple times to correct him with ‘not all muslim people are bad/extremists/religious nuts’ well, no shit not all muslims are that way, that’s just a stupid thing to think. Why are you telling an ex-muslim man how he should think about his (old) religion?

13.) . Told a lesbian she doesn’t understand the struggles non-white LGBTQ youth go through.

Granted, I don’t think K knows she’s a lesbian or Spanish (she’s fair skinned and doesn’t really talk about it), but nothing like a white woman telling a Spanish lesbian about how she couldn’t know the struggles of poc lgbtq folks.

14.) Told a woman wearing a korean traditional dress on halloween was inappropriate. (Heard from trustworthy coworker)

((Okay, so I have to preface this next one with this: This girl is Blue eyed and blonde....however, she is, in fact part Korean. Her mother is a blue eyed, blonde haired and her father is half white/half Korean. (and before you ask, yes she is his child. She looks exactly like him and even has his very distinctive eyebrows/eye brow ridge) Her grandmother, who is 100% Korean, sent her the dress for her Bday. She was excited and wanted to wear it, but waited until halloween so it wouldn’t be odd showing up in a very poof-y dress.))

the girl apparently cried in the bathroom because if it. God forbid this girl not look like what K thinks a Korean lass should look like.

15.) . She will OBSESS over people.

If she hates you, if she likes you. It’s insanity. I overheard her talking to someone about this man who was bullying her online constantly and my thought was she more than likely started it. She does it all the time here, start something, the person defends themselves then suddenly she’s the victim. Did a little research into her twitter and, yeah, she does that shit in person and online. Go figure.

16.) She is literally the person who will go out of their way to be offended by everything.

If above doesn’t make that obvious enough. She asked a coworker what his thoughts on Trump are, then immediately unloaded on him how awful the US president is, how he could dare not have the same opinion as her, then stomped off. The guy just said he had no opinion on him since he’s not American and he doesn’t keep up with their politics. what a Nazi, amirite..

16.) She once claimed she spoke 3 languages.

When confronted by a native speaker, she back peddled and said she was still learning. Why lie about that, especially here? There’s literally people from all over the world here. I hear languages from all over walking down the hall.

17.) She tries sooooo hard to be hip and cool.

She dresses twenty years younger than she should (I think she’s in her early 50′s, dresses like she’s 25) . Low cut shirts, which come on..if you’re top heavy and they drip down that low, at least wear a supportive bra. It’s just uncomfortable for everyone involved and you know it.

She tries to show how cool she is by watching shows/talking young, then butting her way into conversations. Look, I’m aware she is lonely and she only has like one actual friend this entire country, but just because you hear us talking about Rick and Morty or Rifftrax or the IT crowd doesn’t give you the okay to just shove your opinion into the conversation. It’s rude and presumptuous that we’d want to talk to you. I know this makes us sound like assholes, but she really is unbearable to be around sometimes.

18.) I think She picks her nose when no one can see her.

I happen to come around the corner with my sup, she was coming the other way. The hallway was empty, so I guess she assumed it was safe to go mining. My sup and I just looked at each other and kept walking. She played it off like she was scratching her nose...she wasn’t. That’s the action of someone who does that shit on the regular.

19.) . She talks down to and is condescending to everyone.

She treats a lot of people, even those who hold equal degrees to hers, like they’re lesser than her. A super hot guy she does this to is also a doctor, but he went to a waaaay better college than her. He’s nice to everyone, she doesn’t like him. My buddy thinks she has the hots for him, but he is way out of her league, so she talks to him like he’s an idiot to make her feel better about herself. I think it’s because the doctorate he holds isn’t worthless. seriously, though. He’s fucking hot.

20.) She got drunk at a party once and complained about some dude we didn’t know who she didn’t like, like any of us gave a shit.

I wish I was joking. We told her to just block him and ignore it or just walk away from the internet for a while. I mean, we’re adults not 15 y/o girls sending caddy messages to one another. Internet drama is a pathetic thing for an old woman to get wrapped up in. She then left to, what I thought, snapchat or face time someone. We could see her talking into her phone with it out in front of her (she was drunk so god knows who the poor unfortunate soul was on the other end) then came back to let us know she was leaving.

21.) . She’s clearly unhappy, so she tries to make everyone else around her the same.

No one who is happy with their life/themselves says/does the things she does/says. Unhappy people recognize unhappy people. I was that miserable once, I know it when I see it.

22.) She’s rude to wait staff/ baristas.

again, I wasn’t there but a coworker went with her to get coffee (He’s a nice guy to everyone, bless his heart) she rudely demanded a manager when her drink wasn’t made with what she asked for. Yeah, she’s one of THOSE people..

23.) and lastly only because I’m done talking about her; she blamed a mistake SHE made on a friend of mine, who got shit canned because if it.

Yup.

I don’t care if this is ever discovered, don’t care if it is. I don’t care if you believe me or think I’m some troll. If you’re a fan of hers, rethink your fandom. If you hate her, good on you. Either way, I don’t care. I just really wanted to vent out this joke of a human being. I’m not coming back to this tumblr.

farewell, noble listener from the future.

and Kristie, if you found this; Fuck you, twat. I hope you remain miserable and alone for the rest of your life. You deserve it for the shit you put everyone through daily.

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