#she visited for prom recently and it was SO FUN

[strawberri-draws]

Don’t often post sona stuff but I loved these doodles of me and my gf <333

[jasmariswonderland]

✨🎭A Glorious Masquerade With My Twst OCs🎭✨

Hello everyone!

A few days late but better late than never right? Here are my Glorious Masquerade headcanons for Yuulan, Danica, Farron, Sidonie and Vidaria! 

I should note that in my twst-oc universe, this is a canon event. But instead of taking place around halloween, this event takes place in midsummer with NRC holding prom around the same time, Yes this will be relevant in future writing. 

~~~

Yuulan was very surprised when she was selected for the arcane academy social, but she’s also thrilled. She enjoys traveling and so far, one of the things she’s enjoyed so far about being at NRC is when she’s allowed to travel off school campus and see more of Twisted Wonderland. 

But she isn’t so thrilled when she finds out that both Malleus and Vidaria are also attending. Since Book 5, Yuulan and Malleus have slowly become more distant thanks to Malleus keeping his betrothal a secret from her and the rather blase manner he responded when she confronted him about it. Malleus has tried seeking her out since but Yuulan is still trying to sort out her feelings and for him and what exactly they are. And needless to say, she can’t help but feel the smallest bit of envy of Vidaria.

While in the City of Flowers, Yuulan manages to keep her distance of Malleus, Sebek making it all the easier. But she has a lot of fun hanging out with Epel and Deuce, particularly the latter. And up until he looses his entire fucking mind, she even grows to like Rollo as well. They have a lot of amiable conversation about the history of the City of Flowers and she likes that he seems genuinely interested in her. Yuulan has always suffered insecurity about lacking magic in this world and can’t help but feel like a useless tag along at times. Her falling out with Malleus hasn’t helped matters either. But Rollo helps Yuulan forget her more recent troubles, even if she does think he’s a tad peculiar. 

And then all hell breaks loose that evening with the firelotuses and any amiable feelings Yuulan had for Rollo go completely out the window. She’s horrified that he could be capable of such terrible things but she’s even more horrified by Malleus’ reaction when he realizes Rollo only intended to trap him and his invitation to the City of Flowers was never genuine. His brief tirade and the magic he displays is enough for Yuulan to temporarily be freighted by him, for the very first time. 

But with help from Farron and Professor Trein, she and Grim destroy the firelotuses in the city. At the masquerade, she now keeps her distance from Rollo but does finally talk to Malleus. They dance for a while and their conversation is pleasant but she wonders if they could ever really be friends like they once were. On the other hand, Yuulan spends a lot of time with Deuce and begins to see him in a different light. She’s always liked him but she can feel her feelings for him beginning to deepen within this elegant masquerade setting. 

Danica, Farron, Sidonie and Vidaria’s under the cut! 

For Danica, this arcane academy social comes at a very difficult time in her life. Her relationship with Vil is on the rocks and she’s recently transferred to Diasomnia. To make matters worse, at the same time of the social, NRC will be hosting their yearly ball and it was her hope that she and Vil could reconcile then. Unfortunately her selection for the social squashes this plan. But it isn’t all bad. Some of Danica’s friends have also been selected and this actually isn’t her first time visiting the City of Flowers. Her sister brought her there for her birthday many years ago and her mother is actually an alumni of NBC. So Danica is looking forward to seeing the school her mother once attended. 

She loves her masquerade gown and with it, she’s choses to bring her own mask, one that was gifted to her by one of her dorm mates for her birthday. And it’s a perfect match, though Farron remarks that Diasomnia’s colors don’t quite suit her as well as Pomefiore’s

All in all, Danica thoroughly enjoys exploring the city with her classmates, trying pastries in one of the local bakeries, and making friends with a community goat. And to make things even better, she’s surprised when while checking out a shop, she runs into her friends Minette and Florine! As it turns out, students from RSA were also selected to attend the arcane academy social. Neige is also there but he and Danica are on better terms now. 

Needless to say, Danica is very happy to see them again even though her fellow NRC classmates side eye her. Sebek makes a remark about Danica being a traitor and even though the others try to write off his remark as a joke (it wasn’t), it really hurts her, to the point she ends up sitting with her RSA friends during the Topsy Turvy festival with Trein’s approval. She also walks back to NBC with Minette and Florine and when the firelotuses begin blooming and Rollo opens the trap door, Minette manages to used the last of her strength to pull Danica away from what she thinks is a death fall. Inadvertently seperating her from the rest of the NRC group.

Eventually though, Sidonie and Vidaria return to NBC with the other NRC students and drag an unconscious Danica out into the courtyard. They try to heal her but the rampant firelotuses prevents them from being successful until the Bell of Solace is rung. Danica ends up making a full recovery and enjoys the rest of her time in the City of Flowers. Including dancing with Vidaria and Florine at the masquerade, trying on her mother’s old NBC uniform and buying a glass mobile for Vil. 

~~~

Farron is thrilled to be joining in on the social as he has always dreamed of visiting the City of Flowers because it’s considered a major hub for high fashion. He’s greatly looking forward to shopping not just for clothes but also for materials for future projects. When he finds out from Trein that other schools will be attending as well, Farron secretly begins to hope that if RSA is included, Andrew will be there as well. In the days leading up to their departure, Farron spends a lot of time with his clubmates watching old films with the City of Flowers as a backdrop. Out of all the NRC students, Farron is definitely the most excited about this next to Malleus. 

And he absolutely LOVES his masquerade outfit which, by a strange coincidence, marches Sidonie’s masquerade dress perfectly. Not that he minds though. Considering he’s usually the one working to provide fabulous fashion for his friends, he doesn’t mind at all being given his outfit. 

Sadly, Andrew is not included in the RSA envoy for the social. Farron is saddened by this but after a few hours exploring the city, he’s determined that the next time he visits, Andrew will be by his side. Farron buys a lucky charm for him and several little figurines for his older sister. He also manages to sneak off to one of the artsy districts and buys a few bolts of fabric and some beautiful lace. 

During the crisis with the firelotuses, Farron ops to help Professor Trein and Yuulan destroy the flowers in the city. At one point the flowers nearly strangle Grim and Farron manages to rescue him. Once the crisis has passed, he sleeps for a little while and wakes up a few hours before the masquerade to make a few alterations to everyone’s outfits as some of the got ripped and torn while dealing with the firelotuses. But he fully enjoys the ball with Yuulan and Sidonie being his most frequent dance partners

~~~

When Sidonie finds out she’s been selected for the social, she’s not too thrilled since she was looking forward to the NRC ball, hoping Trey would ask her to go. But when she finds out Danica is also going, she quickly changes tune. She feels partially responsible for her dorm transfer and feels as though she’s failed her. She’s also somewhat jealous of the fact that Vidaria has taken over the role of Danica’s mentor. She wants Danica to return to Pomefiore and the day before the NRC students depart for the City of Flowers, Sidonie visits Diasomnia and she and Vidaria actually form a truce. Even if they dislike each other, they both mutually care about Danica and through Vidaria’s intervention, Danica  and Sidonie are able to mend fences with the latter promising to protect her better in the future. 

From the start however, Sidonie and Rollo do NOT get along. While looking at the statue of the Righteous Judge, Trein likens him to other figures who aren’t as revered as the Great Seven but still remarkable. Like the Rose Witch. Rollo responds that he actually thinks the Rose Witch was far from admirable because she used her shape shifting magic to deceive the prince and rather than just cursing him, she cursed all of the prince’s retainers as well. (I mean…) Needless to say, Rollo immediately winds up on Sidonie’s shitlist with those remarks. 

But beyond that, she enjoys exploring the city and buys a bell shaped amulet for Trey. During the Topsy Turvy festival when they’re all dancing, Danica catches everyone’s attention with her graceful movements and one of the performers brings her up on the stage with them. Rollo clearly disapproves of this and makes another remark about a witch who used her dancing to bewitch people and ran afoul of the Righteous Judge. He compares Danica to this witch and it really angers Sidonie. But instead of telling him to shut up, she decides to use her magic to cause a burst of rose petals to fall upon Danica as she’s dancing. This adds onto the chain reaction and the other NRC (and RSA) students also begin performing little bursts of magic to add some excitement to the festival. Furthering Rollo’s disapproval. 

It goes without saying, Sidonie was not surprised at all when Rollo showed his true colors. She joins the group of NRC students going after Rollo and greatly looks forward to beating his ass. But when they return to the school's hall, she finds Danica unconscious on the floor. Vidaria helps her drag Danica outside, hoping that some fresh air and healing potion will revive her. But nothing works until the Bell of Solace is rung. 

Until then, Sidonie and Vidaria team up to destroy as many firelotuses as they can before they also succumb to their malevolence. Though Sidonie will never admit it out loud, she begins to develop a reluctant admiration for her. During the masquerade the next night, they actually have friendly conversation and make many secret jokes at Rollo’s expense. At one point, they watch Danica dancing with Florine and Rollo once again compares her to the witch who tried to bewitch the Righteous Judge. Sidonie and Vidaria scoff at him with the latter asking Rollo ``Did she really bewitch him, or was the Righteous Judge not so righteous after all?” This remark fully earns her Sidonie’s respect.

~~~

Vidaria has visited the City of Flowers once for a equestrian tournament but she didn’t have much chance to really explore the city or do anything outside of the tournament. So she’s was excited to attend the arcade academy social from the start. When Malleus proposes that the NRC students invited perform a traditional song during the social, Vidaria and Danica decide they want to add onto the song by performing a traditional dance as ballet originated in the City of Flowers. In the weeks leading up to is, Danica teaches Vidaria more about ballet and they become closer friends. 

However, when they arrive at NBC, Vidaira immediately feels suspicious of Rollo. She notices the way he looks at Malleus and having experienced fae racisim herself in the past, she gets an unsettling feeling that his intentions might not be fully amiable. But she forces her suspicions to the back of her mind since she knows she has a tendency to be paranoid. She manages to forget her suspicions for a while as she enjoys exploring the city with her friends. At one point, Sebek approaches her and Danica asking what kind of souvenir Taima would appreciate. He swears he just wants to give her something because he’s grown to respect her but the girls secretly snicker about this for the rest of the day. 

Unfortunately, Vidaria’s suspicious about Rollo prove to be correct later that evening when the firelotuses begin to bloom. Being a fae, Vidaria is not as affected by the firelotuses as her companions but it’s still a terrifying experience for her. She initially chooses returning to NBC with her classmates to deal with Rollo but changes her mind when she finds Danica unconscious with her RSA friends. She and Sidonie drag her into the courtyard and team up in destroying the firelotuses for as long as they can. 

When the crisis passes, Vidaria and Sidonie are able to successfully revive Danica and come for a level of understanding they haven’t had since the beginning of their freshman year. At the masquerade, Vidaria and Danica perform together and later the dances with Silver, much to her delight. 

[motownfiction]

a scene for daniel, carrie, lucy, and will. (one for each)

this whole universe actually begins with daniel.

and, like, that's not true. but daniel's story was the one that made me know there was a lot here. no one here has read "remember when?" which is a 33-page story about charlie coming to visit daniel on christmas eve in 2004. and i just needed to see daniel grapple with losing his best friend, with not being able to use that term anymore, with realizing that everything he wanted for his life is just ... different now. because of charlie. in one way or another, it's all because of charlie. i just really wanted to hear that story from daniel's point of view first. and i think that would surprise people to know -- that the world began with daniel -- because he's not as central now, nor did i ever really intend for him to be central. but when his point of view matters, it really matters.

i also just really wanted to write about carrie falling in love with sam/having a brief fling with him in the few months she and charlie were broken up at the beginning of college. there was something about their chemistry in a random vignette that i never planned on, but once i saw it, i just couldn't get it out of my head. i've written about this recently, so forgive me for repeating myself. but carrie and sam are just ... they should have ended up together. i know that, readers know that, characters know that. and i wanted to write about it to show that sometimes, the thing that makes the most sense, the thing that's the best for you ... sometimes, that thing doesn't happen. sometimes, it never will.

with lucy, i just really wanted to see her go to the senior prom and wear a pretty red dress, even if it wasn't her prom. so, i wrote all of dance hall days to give her that. it would feel really lame if lucy, because she was a teen mother/wife, because she's smart, because she kind of sees high school as purgatory before you can really spread your intellectual and creative wings, didn't ever participate in the rituals of high school. because there's a part of her that thinks they're fun. i want her to be all sorts of inconsistent -- the kind of inconsistent that feels human. no one does it like her. no one does it better than she does.

and with will, i wanted to really explore his friendship and similarities with sadie. they weren't supposed to have much in common (they hardly did in the rough drafts, except they did, just no one noticed), but once i realized how clear it was, i had to lean in. i love their friendship a lot. and my desire to see them interact on a deep level is part of why i wrote love will keep us together. but if i'm being honest, love will keep us together really existed to explore sadie's feelings about daniel, which i still love the depiction of.

[lifeofsims3]

Sapeha's birthday has come around, and she is now an elder. When she first visited Carmin she never had any idea that they would be together as long as they have, and are still going strong!

Star ended up going to prom, and while she was there she had a dance with one of her classmates, Keisha Shockley. The two went from strangers to romantic interests and had a lot of fun together.

The next day Carmin was offered an all inclusive holiday, so she whisked Sapeha and the family plumbots away to celebrate the recent birthday. Star decided to stay behind to focus on school, and invited Keisha over so they could get to know each other better.

But now the sleepover is over Star is having doubts about taking the relationship any further, and thinks the two would be better off as friends. How will she break it to Keisha? Maybe she feels the same way...?

[when-life-gives-you-lemons-if]

I did kinda think m/Barlow the ex at least when first introduced was MC's baby daddy if you choose the kid being mc bio child. Since that trope is used a lot in fan fiction and thought since it wasn't stated in text that last saw them was when broke up in prom and just left to interpretation of when mc had a kid. I thought you were going for convert the route where that is not the case. Besides when i was doing the ex route I was going more for the be grunging axes that say they hate each other but act like an old married couple lol and only reason mc got had the kid was to not be alone anymore and heal from their broke heart and where the baby daddy was concerned I was going for either had child by donor or dated another guy who she really loved but they weren't compatible other than attraction and they broke up amicably, he know about kid but since they know kid probably be better off with mc and they wanted to start fresh start left off somewhere but has been paying child support off screen and been spending time with kid during visit or video chat or something which hasn't been really talk about since that has more to do with kid than mc. And since just recently started their new start I like to think in the timeline of all this baby daddy has been too busy to visit or wants to give mc time to adjust to new life so had been doing off screen video calls to kid to check up on them and lend them an ear like an friend to mc.

(TLDR: if baby daddy existed in my fan fiction version would either be she got baby daddy donor or she would've dated someone else after the whole break up from prom thing and this baby daddy didn't get to stay because they didn't really click other than attraction but still mutual break up and still in kid life but more off screen and really more seen on video chat or calls since they (mc and baby daddy) new fresh start in life. And at most is more like a close friend than really love interest (Aka not a threat to any Ros tho might be a threat to mc since they may get a crush on mc many suitors lol)

Ohhh I like the donor one as I can picture MC being comfortable in their career and wanted a child at the time.

I think mine would happen during a one-night stand 😅🙈 and MC not having the opportunity to contact that person again.

Now that I think about it, I'm kind of happy that I didn't get specific about the other parent that way the readers can have fun and make head canons.

[wonderlandleighleigh]

What's Midge and Lenny's general impression on Rory and Jess? During season 2? Season 3? Or in season 6 at the Open House? Actually now that I think about it would Jess have stayed with them after he came to see Rory in Balalankas? Cause I don't think he would have wanted Luke to know about that portion of the visit.

So in a tMMM/GG crossover universe where Jess graduates High School, Rory and Jess's relationship winds up being a lot more functional, because he's not spiraling the way he does canonically.

Jess making better choices, with more adult support in his life (Luke, Midge and Lenny working together to encourage more self preservation and less self destruction), means that he does talk to Rory more. They get to go to prom together in season 3, for instance, and that messy scene in Keg! Max! doesn't happen.

Also she doesn't sleep with Married!Dean because I fucking said so.

Midge thinks they're cuuuuuute.

Lenny thinks Jess's apathy is dumb, and tells him so on a regular basis.

I think Jess and Rory try to stay together in her first semester at Yale, but it falls apart quickly after he moves to NYC. He stays on a similar trajectory where he bops from NYC to Philly.

During season 6, when he's self distributing his book in Balalaikas, he does make a stop in Stars Hollow, crashing with Midge and Lenny, primarily because Luke and Lorelai are living together by that point, it isn't for another few years that Jess and Lorelai will actually start making an effort to get along.

And Lenny hits the fucking roof when he finds out about the book. He buys three copies (one for writing notes in, one to show people and a loner copy), and then he bullies Andrew into carrying it at the Black, White and Read.

Midge is also insanely impressed, and writes a review for it on social media under her stage name so it starts getting national attention, which means Jess has to go back to press on it, which he is both grateful for and annoyed by.

"It's a small press, Midge! We can't afford to send 500 extra copies to LA! I only printed 500 to begin with!"

"Sshhhhhhhhhh I'll pay for the shipping."

The opening is a lot of fun for Midge and Lenny. it feels like the old days for them. Sadly, they can't really keep incognito in Philly, and people recognize them pretty readily.

But they know that Rory is not in the best place in her life when she goes to see Jess at the opening. That the Logan situation is ridiculous. That she just recently started back up at Yale. That still happens the same way, too.

[shijjii]

You're all I need

Ryan wanted to scream at his sister, he was typing a message in his phone to express his annoyance while walking

Ducks: There are approximately 1,010,300 words in the English language, but I could not string enough words together to properly express how much I want to hit you with a chair. Seen

Ryan rolled his eyes and stuffed his phone back inside his pocket. He was walking around one of the quads in U of A, alone, because his sister decided that it was more fun to flirt with someone rather than showing her brother around

He sees there was a small stage by the quad and a growing crowd, but what surprised him was the familiar floof of curly hair bouncing as he nodded at someone

It was Chad Danforth, he was talking to someone but Ryan couldn't careless to whoever he was talking to as he made his way to where the jock was

He was about to call out when someone else called Chad, he sees him turn and walk to where the person was and suddenly, he was up on the stage with a girl beside him. Chad was holding on to a guitar, he looked to the girl, slightly nodding at her and they both started

"you're all I need"

"woah" Ryan mumbled under his breath, he didn't expect the jock to start singing in front of a crowd. He sees Chad look up and for a moment, he was sure that Chad saw him and smiled as he continued to strum the guitar and sing with the girl

"to get by"

"like a sweet morning dew, I took one look at you" He was completely in awe, this was different from when they were still back in East high. It looked like he was really enjoying himself up there. Chad stopped looking at the girl and faced the crowd

"and it was plain to see, you were my destiny"

"is he looking at you?" Ryan turned to see one of the jocks smirking at someone else "that creepy fag" he furrowed his eyebrows, they made an action of gagging and saying "ew, gay"

"what's wrong with being gay?" Ryan stepped up, crossing his arms

"everything" one of them said in a tone as if that explained everything

"nothing is wrong with being gay, it is completely normal to like someone regardless of their gender" they scoff at him, shaking their head as if he just said something ridiculous

"you defending a fag?"

Ryan's thoughts were all scrambled and his mouth opened before he can even think of what he was going to say "I think I have every right to defend my boyfriend"

he sees them tighten their lips and roll their eyes, saying something along the lines "not worth it fighting a fag" walking away from him, leaving Ryan to look back to Chad who was still looking his way

"like an eagle protects his nest, for you I'll do my best" Ryan decided to move closer up front to see Chad more, and if he's correct, he sees a glint of relief in Chad's eyes as he walked up

"Stand by you like a tree, dare anybody to try and move me" now he was sure that Chad is looking at him and no one else, maybe it was the nerves getting to the jock and he just wanted to look at someone who has heard him sing and seen him dance before

Ryan smiled at Chad, who continued to sing, the crowd was singing along with the two students that were on the stage. He felt a little bit guilty that he just claimed that he's Chad's boyfriend even though they weren't, he'll just have to talk to the jock about the situation to clear out any misunderstanding between them. He didn't want to destroy their friendship.

When the two finished singing, they thanked their audience and stepped down the stage. Chad said something to his friends, giving the guitar before making his way to where Ryan was. He's aware that everyone was looking at them when Chad smiles his way

Ryan crosses his arms as Chad greeted him "hey there, stranger" he shook his head, a smile making its way on his lips

"you were good up there"

"you liked it?" The thespian nodded, still smiling at Chad "never knew you can sing like that, Wildcat" he sees the jock throw his head back and laugh, he placed his arm on Ryan's shoulders "there are so many things that you don't know about me"

they started to walk away from the crowd, he hears some of the students wolf whistle at them and someone shouting "go get it, Chadders!"

"ignore them" he sees Chad quickly flip a finger at them before moving Ryan to somewhere else

"so, you really liked the song?" he nodded at this "you have a very good voice, Chad"

Ryan didn't know where they were headed but he didn't mind, anywhere with Chad was better than anything else. They get to a quiet corner with a bench when he remembers what he just said to the homophobic asses earlier and turns to Chad with a frown

this time, the jock had a confused look on his face mixed with concern

"you okay, Ry?" asked Chad, gently patting the bench, so now they were both sitting side by side

"yeah, it's just that there were these two assholes that said everything was wrong about being gay"

"oh"

"yeah and I uh, well, I stepped up and said there's nothing wrong with liking someone regardless of their gender" he sees Chad grin "but they asked me if I'm defending... A fag... And they were referring to you.." the jock nodded, his grin not disappearing

"and I said... That there's nothing wrong with defending...... My boyfriend" there was a long silence between the two of them, Ryan was making sure that he wasn't looking at Chad's face, he was scared of a lot of things, those assholes could've been wrong and that Chad wasn't gay and he'd take it offensive, he was scared of what expression the jock was making right now but then he hears him stifle a laugh

"I wasn't informed that you're my boyfriend now" Ryan gaped at him

"wait-"

"yes, Ry. I'm gay"

"but-"

"I sang that song up there for extra credit and also for someone" the blonde sat there frozen, Chad took this as a sign to continue, running his hand through his hair

"Recently I have this friend, back then I thought she's an ass but turns out she can be nice when she wants to and she told me that her brother- the guy I've been crushing on for a couple of years now- was visiting the campus. I had to almost beg on my knees to my professor just so I can move the date of the singing when he was really here to hear it" He was still processing everything that Chad said when he felt him nudge his shoulder

"I never expected that we were boyfriends, I didn't get a message from him or anything but you're saying that the guy that I like defended me and basically said that I'm his boyfriend. This day couldn't get any better"

"wait-" Chad groans in his palms but he sees that there was a smile on his lips

"Ryan, how oblivious can you get?" the thespian shifted in his seat to get a better look at the jock who has his palms on his face now, peaking through the gaps of his fingers

"you're saying that you've liked me for a couple of years now? Since when??"

"since baseball game"

this time, it was Ryan's turn to groan. He leaned back and stared up

"you're saying we could have been making out since then?" he hears a snort

"I tried my best to tell you but you were always around Kelsi and Sharpay, then I hear that you're going to prom with Kelsi so I cried my heart out to Taylor and she devised the plan of me asking her out in front of everyone" he feels Chad shrug "we thought that you'd finally come to your senses but then Tay said she miscalculated and maybe just solidified that I'm straight"

"yeah, that was a complete miscalculation on your guys' part since I cried my heart out to Kelsi saying that I have no chance with you ever" another silence between them but this one wasn't uncomfortable. Both of them were leaning back and their pinky fingers were touching. Scared to be the first one to initiate anything intimate

"so, we're complete idiots" Chad asked, looking at Ryan with a soft smile "yeah, we are" he replied. The look from Chad gave him some courage as he moves his hands and intertwined them with the jock

There was a warm feeling in his chest as he feels Chad's fingers tangled with his, he sees him take Ryan's hand up and put a kiss on the back of his hand

"I'm your idiot, right?" he asked when Chad didn't say anything. He feels the breath on his hand when the jock chuckled "yes, you're my idiot. You're all I need"

[silverjansims]

Generation One: Childish Lovers

Chapter 7: Nanu in Shang Simla

It's the end of another long sim week in Monte Vista where Dean and Nanu Magana and their children are settling down for another night's sleep. Before she goes to bed, Nanu is updating their family legacy blog about their recent adventures another news.

This is our teenaged son, Sean modeling his new everyday outfit

As Nanu types away, she wonders to herself where has the time gone as the Saturday night clock strikes midnight to signal that eight Sim weeks have come and gone since she moved to the Spanish sim town of Monte Vista. "No wonder they say that 'time flies when you're having fun." Now back to the task at hand to update our friends with photos and tales of the most recent events in our family. Dean and our son, Sean who recently celebrated his teen birthday and is looking forward to his prom in a couple of days, also send along their greetings and well wishes to everyone.

Success inside the Temple of Heaven. Nanu finding the famous, Pangu's Axe. Now she just had to find her way safely out and completely explore the rest of the tomb.

Let's begin by wishing young Sean a belated Happy Birthday as he recently grew into a handsome young teenager. After watching how sloppy his father gets (as per his 'slob' trait) when he leaves his dirty clothes on the floor or dirty dishes on the counter, Sean has decided that he likes things 'neat' and tidy and now makes sure that all of the beds are made, laundry picked up and dirty dishes are in the dishwasher along with anything else that needs a good cleaning. Our son hasn't decided what his lifetime goals are, yet but Dean and I know that Sean will succeed in anything he sets his mind to. We also look forward to our daughter, Deanna starting school in a few days and hope that her friendly side overshadows her 'evil' tendencies. Talk about having a dual personality, so it would be advisable to stay on Deanna's nicer side.

Nanu beginning her mission to find the special relic for Lee Yao inside the Hot Springs Cave

During my last day off from work, I returned to China to continue the mission that Lee Yao had given me on my previous trip to find the famous Pangu's Axe that was hidden deep inside the Temple of Heaven. Legend says that with this axe, explorers and break the toughest obstacles like big boulders that sometimes block entrance to caves or treasures. After finding the axe, Lee had me break the boulder he hated the most that was blocking a dive well that was located at the top of the Hot Springs Resort. He also wanted me to explore the tomb there to find a special relic. This involved diving into several dive wells and disarming many fire and steam traps along my journey to the bottom level where I completed my mission. On the bright side, piles of rubble and boulders are no longer a problem for our family members when exploring tombs in China, Egypt or France.

Since it was late at night when, Nanu completed the Hot Springs Cave, she decided to do some late night fishing in one of the ponds at the nearby Dragon Springs. She managed to catch several dragon fish.

During my eight day trip China, Abi Yat Sen contacted me regarding the 'meditation' statue she was building that would help solve the Dragon's Cave mystery was finished and that I needed to do the customary 'Pilgrim's Walk' carrying it to see if indeed I was the quote 'Chosen One' to go inside the Dragon's Cave someday to solve the mystery. After visiting the Scholar's Garden, Temple of Heaven and the top of the Dragon's Cave, I had a chilling vision of an evil mummy deep inside that I would need to defeat someday after becoming a master in the martial arts skill. In the meantime Abi is still trying to figure out away for me to get inside. Besides doing some fishing, I also helped Zhan Su recover a special relic from the Monk Retreat part of the Temple of Heaven and will return at a later date to complete the next part of the 'In Aid of the Monks' mission.

Nanu just emerged from the dive well inside the ancient Monk section of the Temple of Heaven as she looks for a special relic for Zhan Su.

At the end of his work week, Dean also took a trip to France at the request of his boss. Apparently there have been growing suspicions in the police department's special undercover division that contraband was being smuggled into the country hidden inside bottles of nectar by black market French merchants. He managed to find a secret area in the basement of the French nectary that contained extra bottles of nectar for him to just take. Dean also found one at the bottom of a dive well he found behind the stairs in the nectary. While he was in France, Dean helped drum up some extra business for the local relic shop, asked Alain Lefebvre to take one of the local single ladies out on a date and took a local picture of something new for Gerard Morel.

This is one of two photos from Dean's trip to France. Dean just emerged from the dive well behind him were he found an ancient bottle of nectar

Dean and I would like to wish you all a happy weekend as I (Nanu) am about to turn out the light for the night. I've saved the best news for last which is that Dean and I have both completed our lifetime wishes. Dean is now an International Super Spy while my 'Perfect Private Aquarium' is now complete with 13 perfect fish of different species are now swimming around in my three home-sized aquariums.

Dean brought Pangu's Axe with him and used it to smash the boulders that hide the entrance to Tuatha's Garden. Someone in the family can explore the tomb on a future trip. He found two valuable cut opal gems under the boulders.

So long for now and hope you enjoy the photos I've included in this post.

Nanu Magana

[bondsmagii]

statement regarding the sudden disappearance of all my childhood memories and subsequent photos, gradually, over the course of four years

ARCHIVIST

Statement of Jasmine Harper, regarding the disappearance of all childhood memories and photographs over the course of four years. Original statement given July 21, 2011. Audio recording by Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, London.

Statement begins.

ARCHIVIST (STATEMENT)

I can’t really remember when it was that I noticed. It was a gradual thing, but at the same time it felt so sudden… like I woke up one morning and they were all gone, or at least most of them were. But I know that isn’t what happened at all, is it? The more I think about it, the more I realise that I began to forget years and years before I realised something was truly wrong. I thought it was normal, you know? I thought it was just part of getting older. I mean, how many of us get out of university able to recall the full names of everyone in our first primary school class? I took Psychology for one of my A-Levels, actually, and when we did our module on memory that was one of the tests. I must have been able seventeen then, so it was before I noticed this happening. We had to take a sheet of paper and write down every full name we could remember from our first primary school class. I won by a landslide, and I had five names. Only five names! But that’s the thing – I used to have such a good memory when it came to my childhood. That’s why I can’t understand what’s happening.

I had a good childhood. This isn’t any childhood trauma or anything like that. I mean, there were some nasty moments in it, like any childhood is prone to have – I had a problem with bullies when I first started high school, nothing out of the ordinary but you know how cruel kids can be, and when you’re that age it sticks with you. My parents divorced when I was fourteen, but there was nothing specifically traumatic about that. It sucked, and I was sad to see them sad, but they remained civil through the whole thing and actually got on better afterwards, so it wasn’t like there were screaming matches or anything. They were careful to keep my brother and I updated on everything, which I was thankful for. It was nice, that they didn’t do what a lot of parents seem to do – treat us like small children, and not young adults who would also be affected by the situation. If I ever get a divorce, I hope to god it’s as pleasant as my parents’ was. There’s nothing in my childhood that I can pinpoint that might have caused this, and that seems to be a common cause of forgetting, at least – trauma, mental illness, something like that. I’ve… struggled with depression sometimes, but never anything that I didn’t get under control with the right combination of things. Really, I’m a completely normal, average person. There’s nothing that could have caused this at all. I’ve been to doctors, I’ve had brain scans, I was worried it was some kind of tumour or stroke, but no. Nothing. I’m perfectly healthy, but I don’t feel it.

As I said, it began gradually. I realised I was forgetting things; small things. The address of the house I lived in until I was five. Old phone numbers. The last names of childhood friends. Some of my teachers’ names. None of it was unusual. I’m pretty sure everyone forgets those things, so I wasn’t worried at all. A little annoyed sometimes, because it really felt like getting old, or I couldn’t randomly look somebody up on Facebook to see how they were doing or something, but really it wasn’t unusual at all. It was only when I started forgetting bigger things that I began to grow concerned. I mean, this was stuff that I shouldn’t forget at all, or that was relatively recent. I know for most people, childhood probably means when they were a smaller child; before they hit their teenage years, perhaps. Well, this seems to be taking the legal definition of child as its guide, because I found myself forgetting things that happened when I was sixteen, seventeen years old. I mean, that’s not that long ago! That’s not even ten years ago! I began to forget huge chunks of time; before I knew it I couldn’t recall my earliest memories, and then I couldn’t recall anything from primary school. It’s just blank, like trying to think about what was there before I was born. Still I told myself it wasn’t that much to worry about, but then it began creeping up and up, and back then I still had the photographs. I could look through photo albums or friends’ Facebook pages and see what I was forgetting: a birthday party at Alton Towers when we were eleven, the school ski trip to Italy when we were fourteen, our school’s knock-off idea of an American prom when we were seventeen. There I am, in all of the pictures, grinning and present and definitely there. But I can’t remember a thing about the day at all!

I finally accepted something was terribly wrong at my aunt’s wedding. She was getting married pretty later on in life because she was kind of wild as a young adult, didn’t want to settle down or anything. Everyone was fond of her – she always had the most interesting stories and she’s just a lot of fun to be around – and so the whole family was there to see her get married: all the surviving grandparents, great aunts and uncles, cousins, partners, friends, kids, even the dogs were invited. It was a beautiful summer day and everyone was having so much fun and I know this sounds stupid but I feel so mad that this had to happen on that day of all days, because nothing bad is supposed to happen at a wedding, right? Well, everything was fine until late into the reception, and we were all a little drunk but not overly so. I was sitting with my mum and brother at a table with some cousins and my aunt and her new wife, and we were all reminiscing about other crazy family parties and stuff. I was talking about my grandparents’ fiftieth wedding anniversary, that happened when I was twelve or thirteen. I was telling some story – of course I can’t even remember what it was now, but it was something about me and my brother and the cousins that were at the table with us, and I was talking about it just fine and then, literally mid-sentence, I forgot it. Not just what we were doing, but the whole event. I didn’t even know I was talking about the anniversary until my brother prompted me, and then it was just blank. My brother and cousins all picked up the story and I laughed along and played it up like I’d had a little too much wine, you know, haha, but I mean it when I say it was gone. And not only that – it felt taken from me. It felt as though somebody had reached into my head and just… plucked the memory right out.

It bothered me so much that I went to visit my mum shortly afterwards. We sat down and had a few cups of tea and eventually I worked up the courage to ask if I could root around in the photo albums, saying that the wedding had reminded me of a few things I wanted to look at again – ironic, I know. Mum was of course down to get out all the albums – she never went digital, she doesn’t like not having physical albums to look through – so we dragged a bunch of them down and sat around the table to look. The first one was normal, just a family holiday to Florida when I was sixteen, but as we started going through the older albums I noticed there were pictures of me missing that I know for a fact existed. They were just gone, and then there were others where I knew I should be there but I wasn’t. And Mum didn’t think anything was strange! There was one picture, I remember it so clearly because we almost got into a big fight about it, and it was of my brother dressed as Spider Man on Halloween. I distinctly remember that night because I was dressed as the Pink Power Ranger and the costume was uncomfortable as hell, so I know I was there. I know I was in that picture, because it was such a ridiculous picture, the two of us in full bodied costumes like that, and I finally mentioned to my mum that I should be in there. Not aggressively or anything, just oh, I could have sworn I was in that one!, and she denied it and I insisted and she kept saying no, she was sure it was just George in that picture, but then I pointed out that George had his arm out in mid-air like it should be around someone. It was clearly around my shoulders. The height was right, his fingers were slightly curled like they were pressing in to my arm. Mum just looked for a moment, and I thought, briefly, that she might finally see it – but then she just said George was doing a Spider Man pose, like shooting a web from his wrist or something, and I just… I don’t even know. I just felt so hopeless, I almost cried. I was sure, so sure! Mum’s always taken photos, even now – every holiday, every event, even just going over for Sunday dinner. She’s told me several times I loved being in front of the camera as a kid, so I know there must have been way more pictures of me than that. Mum just didn’t get what I was on about, though, so I gave up in the end. There was no use fighting. What could I say?

Well, that was when I went to the doctor. I’ve already outlined how useless that was. Nothing wrong with me at all, apparently, but I’m sure most of them weren’t really taking me seriously. I was told it couldn’t be all my memories, and that photographs didn’t just vanish. I was seconds away from getting referred to a psychiatrist when I decided I would be better off shutting up about it. I’m not—I don’t think this is mental illness. I’ve looked it up so many times and I’ve read about people being delusional, you know, not believing they’re the ones in the picture, or that other people in the picture have been replaced, but that’s not what’s happening here. I haven’t read anything about like what’s happening to me. Nobody is out there saying they’re forgetting their entire childhood, birth to eighteen, and the pictures are vanishing along with it. There is something else going on here but I don’t know what. I’ve never done anything to deserve this, I’ve never messed around with anything I shouldn’t. If this is something like—like what you people investigate, I do not know when I would have come across it. I don’t even know what I mean by this. It seems ridiculous to even consider that it could be a ghost, or a curse, or—or God knows what.

A few weeks after this I went to Mum’s again, and one of the photo albums was still out. I looked through it and I was gone from every single picture. I was not there at all. Even the ones I saw only recently, I was gone from them. Just George on his own, and in the spaces where pictures of just me should be, other photos had replaced them. Just scenery shots, or views from the hotel balcony, or Christmas decorations and piles of presents, or spreads of holiday food. Nothing Mum would put in there herself. She likes to preserve the details, but her albums are for people. Her photos in the albums always have people or pets in them. I showed her, pretending it was just out of interest, but she seemed to not know what I meant. “I’ve always accessorised”, was what she said. Something about context, making it a pretty spread, keeping all the themes together. I don’t know. It was nothing that Mum would say, anyway. She was always so militant about it – at least up until recently.

I walked around the house a bit and of course I was gone from the rest of the pictures, too. My school photos were all gone, and all the framed pictures on bedside tables or shelves showed just my brother, or more scenery. There was one picture of the rose bush in the garden and I knew for a fact I was supposed to be standing in front of it, because it was my prom picture and I was wearing a dress the exact same shade of red as the roses, and Mum wanted to get a picture of me standing in front of it to show off the perfect colour match. There was just the rose bush, and even when I picked up the frame and looked closely at the picture, I could see no signs that it had ever been anything but. I wondered why it was still there, because pictures of just me usually vanished and got replaced by something else entirely, but then I saw in the corner, almost hidden by the frame, the faintest pink blur of part of my mother’s finger. Is that all it takes? Is one blurry finger worth more than my entire being? I don’t understand what’s going on!

I think… I think I could deal with it easier, if it wasn’t for the fact that everybody seems to think nothing is wrong. If it was just one of those weird things, I think I could live with it if my parents and brother were also with me on it, knowing it was weird, being concerned. I’ve looked everywhere and they’re all gone, all the photos, in every relative’s house and on Facebook. The earliest ones I can find are on my eighteenth birthday party. Everything before that is gone. I don’t remember anything. It’s like I materialised at age eighteen and there was nothing before that; I don’t even really know who I am anymore. I can’t know, because all the steps I took to get here are gone, and everything I learned about my family and friends as I grew up alongside them has vanished. I feel completely… completely detached, completely adrift, and I don’t know if I’m being paranoid but it just feels like there’s a little less of me every day. It’s like I spent eighteen years building up, and now I’m just… fading away.

I don’t know what to do.

ARCHIVIST

Statement ends.

This is a fairly straightforward one to follow up. There isn’t really much to say. On the surface it does very much seem like a case for a doctor rather than the Institute, but some things do seem to back up part of the story, at least. Attempts to get in contact with Ms Harper were unsuccessful, as it seems she does not exist. There are a couple of records here and there of a Ms Harper matching the age and occupation that she provided with her statement, but when Tim contacted the workplaces involved, nobody could recall her. As for anything else – records such as a birth or death certificate, a driver’s license – there is nothing. Of course, she could have provided a fake name, but Tim managed to get in touch with George Harper, Ms Harper’s younger brother, and confirmed it was the same George Harper by asking a few questions about his childhood. He recalled several holidays and weddings that Ms Harper mentioned, though he mentioned nothing about a sister. When questioned about siblings, he was adamant he had never had one, and had grown up an only child. I’m not entirely sure how he did it, and nor am I inclined to want to know, but Tim managed to persuade Mr Harper to give him the contact information for his parents. Both stated that they had only one child – a son. The only Jasmine in the family seems to be Mrs Harper’s pet pug dog; apparently, Mrs Harper “always liked the name”, but had never had the chance to use it.

Unfortunately, there doesn’t seem to be much more we can do regarding this one.

End recording.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #463

“the siren sings a lonely song of all the wants & hungers  /  the lust of love, a brute desire”

Describe the person that you would like to be in three years. I want my mental health to be in great condition, I really want to be in much better physical shape, ideally be living with somebody in our own place, have a job I'm happy with, have an improved social life, my own license and car... Think back to when you first met your significant other (or ex). Was your first impression of them accurate? It's funny, I honestly don't remember what my first impression of Girt was. I don't even recall our first interaction. I'm sure it was most likely that he was friendly, because he is and always has been. What is your most noticeable personality trait? Probably that I'm really, really shy. What kind of natural disaster is most common where you live? Hurricanes. Which of your family members do you resemble the most? I guess one of my immediate sisters? People tend to say stuff like they can definitely tell we're related. Have you ever had an animal get into your attic? No. Who knows you better than anyone else? Hell, probably whoever reads these. When was the last time you started a “new chapter” of your life? I guess you could call dating Girt a "new chapter." I have a much, much stronger feeling of this attempt being more successful than the last now that I've been able to change my angle on how I see him. What’s the most expensive thing your car needed to get done? I don't have my own vehicle and never have. If you had a thousand dollars to spend on a pricey brand you like but can’t really afford (until now of course), which ONE brand would you choose? *shrug* Most products of highly expensive brands I find hideous anyway. Do you still talk to any of your old teachers? Yeah. One is a close family friend and actually our landlord. Does your family still use the home phone or are you all on cell phones now? We haven't had a landline is yeeeeaaarrrrsssss. Ever go to another school’s prom? No; my boyfriend went to the same school as me. Do you ever venture into the woods? What do you normally do there? No; we live in the city now. :/ When I DID live in the woods, I absolutely loved wandering around with my camera for stuff to take pics of. Does your significant other ever make you mix CDs? None ever have but omg I wish that would be adorable. How did you dress your freshman year of high school? I was one of them emo kids. Would you ever date your best friend of the opposite sex? WELP that's what I'm doing lol. Would you say you have a high sex drive or not so much? I'd call it normal? Higher sometimes, lower other times, but not to either extreme. Come with an unpopular opinion. Silent Hill: Homecoming is a great game and while there's a lot of fan service from the movie, it belongs in the series. It's actually my second (or third)-favorite installment. Most of the SH community absolutely hate that game. What’s the worst thing a friend has either done or said to you? A lot of shit Colleen would say if we got into arguments. She'd ridicule effects of my depression, said I'd never know what it's like to pay my own bills, stuff like that. She's hateful as fuck and everything cut deep. What’s fake about you? Like extensions, fake nails, botox etc. Nothing physical. If you got the chance, would you audition for a reality show? No. Have you ever gotten into a Facebook fight? More than once. What’s the cheesiest thing you’ve ever experienced irl? Hm, I'm unsure. Favorite flavor of jelly bean? Probably watermelon. Do you use Tinder? If yes, have you ever met up with someone you matched? No. You do you, but if I understand Tinder correctly, it just seems... really shallow to me. Like don't you JUST see their picture to decide if you're interested or not? It just enforces the false belief that appearance really matters in love. You just poured your heart out to your crush and all he/she does is respond “k”. What do you respond/do? Well, I don't have a crush anymore; my boyfriend and I literally exchanged "I love you"s last night. That's not a crush. But for the sake of the question, I'll imagine I was single and this happened, in which case I would be both hurt and annoyed. Like, either tell me you return the feelings or not. It's not hard. What's your favorite thing to order from McDonald’s? I usually get a quarter pounder w/ cheese or a McDouble, occasionally with a small or medium fry, depending on how hungry I am. When do you feel your sexiest? Never, hunny. What's your favorite emoji? I don't really have one? It just depends on what the situation calls for. What’s your skincare routine? I don't really have one... I just use a washcloth to clean my face. Who all out of your immediate family smokes? My dad and stepmom. Do you like incense or candles better? Incense, totally. Do you respect your parents? Yeah. What’s your bf/gf’s name? It's technically Donald Jr., but since high school, I've known him as Girt, a nickname I won't explain for his privacy. Do you wear glasses? Yeah. Do you like The Beatles? I honestly don't. Except "Hey, Jude." What was the last reason you got excited? Last night. When we were saying goodbye, I was scared to, but I told Girt I loved him, and he immediately said it back confidently. My heart did like five flips. I'm still over the moon about it. Yes, we just got back together, but we've been in each other's lives as a constant since HS, and after changing my angle of how I looked at him, it's not at all platonic anymore. Do you know anyone who drinks the pickle juice from the jar? Sara does alskdjfklwejrl;er Name something crazy that’s happened recently? Uhhhh... I dunno. My life is very uneventful to have something really "crazy" happen. Can you say for a fact that you’re happy right now? I'm happy about some things, but also nervous and self-doubtful. Have you ever zip lined? No, but they look fun. I'd just be really scared of losing my grip. If you broke your computer, would you be able to fix it on your own? Ha, no. Have you ever been on a boat and got sick? No, but the one time I was at the beach and on a boat riding to an island, I was TERRIFIED I was going to get sick because of the waves. I didn't, thankfully. Did you sleep well last night? For the most part. My new mask might just be working. Do your parents try and plan your life for you? Not at all. Do you have any pictures of you kissing someone? Yes. List two things about yourself that you find embarrassing. My weight and how dark my leg hair is. Do you like to cuddle with your pet when you are sad? Yes. Do you find piercing attractive or unattractive? h o t Do you have any secret hiding spots in your room? To put money, yes. Do you like parmesan cheese on your spaghetti? Ew, no. I don't like parmesan. Does your best girl friend have any talents that you don’t? Yeah. She can animate well, for one. And sing like a fucking champ. Do you have any video game systems in your room? Which one(s)? My Nintendo DS Lite is in here. Well, and my laptop is a gaming one. What color eyes does the last person you kissed have? ... Oh WOW I've known this man for a fuckin decade and somehow I'm not sure??? But I want to say light blue? Have you ever taken a ride in a helicopter? No. Have you ever visited hot springs? No. How slowly or quickly would you say you eat? I'm aware I eat too fast, because my mom will point it out almost without fail if we eat in sight of each other. I'm not a messy eater at all, just... fast. Chewing your food and swallowing isn't a complex task. I've made active efforts to slow down, I just haven't been able to succeed. It doesn't feel normal. That and I've come to discover that when I chew food TOO much, I don't like the mushy texture of it in my mouth. What did you do the last time you were with friends? Yesterday Girt and I planned to watch shitty Netflix anime for some laughs, but we wound up starting Attack on Titan, which I am officially pretty into. What kind of cologne/perfume do you like the opposite sex to wear? I don't care if they wear any or not, so long as they know how to clean themselves and therefore not actually smell bad. If you celebrate Christmas, do you get a real tree or an artificial tree? We always use a fake one. Is there someone who means a lot to you but they don’t know that? My sisters probably don't, really... Is money important to you? Live your whole life poor and I want to see you answer "no" to this. Have you ever watched a meteor shower? No. Do you like Slim Jims? LOOOOOOOVE them. Would you rather write a mystery or love story? Love story. Are you muscular? No. Working for it. Do you have one of those removable hand-held shower heads? Yes. Originally, this house didn't, but I hated it so much that Mom bought one. How many burners does your stove have? Four. Has your car ever been broken into? Mom's hasn't.

[hargroves-angel]

 Masterlist - Upgraded ⚡️

——————————————————————————

——————————————————————————

• Key • Fluff - ★ • Smut - ♡ • Angst - ♧ •

Up Coming Things Masterlist

- Masterlist of all the new things I have planned!

Prompt Requests Masterlist

Series • Billy Hargrove X Reader •

• Cookies And Cream • ★ ♡ ♧ •

| Masterlist | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 |

• Time Changes People • ★ ♡ ♧ •

 Masterlist | Teaser | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 |

Series • Billy Hargrove X OC •

- An Angels Kiss - _ _ _ -

(Coming Soon...)

Mini Series • Billy Hargrove •

Protective | Part 1 | Part 2 |

- Billy always has your back especially when kids are being assholes. 

She Calls Me Daddy Too | Part 1 | Part 2 |

- You’re Hoppers daughter and Billy likes to piss him off.

She's kinda hot though (Henderson! Reader) | Part 1 | Part 2 |

- Billy likes Y/N Henderson but she doesn't really understand the concept of flirting.

Badass (Harrington! Reader) | Part 1 | Part 2 |

- The hot chick behind Harrington gains Billys interest.

Fluff • ★ •

Comfy Cuddles And A Slight Breeze

- A night cute movie night with Billy 

Jealous Billy Headcannons

- Headcannons for jealous Billy

Quit It

- You've been trying to get Billy to quit smoking.

Hair 

- Billy playing with you hair

Video Game Lover 

- Billy takes a liking to the girl who works at the arcade 

“Just Friends” 

- Billy and you are just friends. But you both know that you want bit more than that, and so doesn't everyone around you, Its just time for you both to own up to that.

Pools Of Honey (Biracial! Reader)

- Billy can’t stand people being rude to you.

It’s Ok Now Baby

- You're a bit touch starved and stressed, all you want is Billy.

Music Lover

- The girl in Billys detention, seems to have caught his attention, she loves music as well.

Adorable

- Billy finds you so cute, you’re so different from his usual type and he finds you adorable.

Sweet Love Triangle (Henderson! Reader)

- Billy likes you but you like Steve, what could happen?

High With You

- Getting high with Billy and friends.

Wedding Bells 

- Yours and Billys wedding.

California Baby 

- You get Billy tickets to go to California for your anniversary.

Might Be Fun

- Billy is desperate to get with the Henderson he's fallen for but she isn't so keen herself.

Ice Cream And Sunscreen 

- You take the party to the pool to visit Billy whilst he's working there.

Double Date

- You and Billy go on a double date with Carol and Tommy to a drive in movie.

Summer Fair

- Going to the summer fair in Hawkins with Billy.

Promise 

- Billy promising you with his moms ring.

Crowned 

- You and Billy get a couples tattoo.

Diner Date (Henderson! Reader) 

- A fifth date with Billy at a nearby diner.

Puppy Love

- Billy gets a job at a local veterans clinic.

Attention

- Billy doesn't like how his little step-sister is getting all the attention he's used to getting from you.

Pillow Talk

- Billy knows what he wants in the future. 

Im Not Scared... (Henderson! Reader)

- Billy takes you to go see Children Of The Corn but he doesn't realise that horror movies don’t phase you that much anymore, but hey sure as hell scare him.

Bikini Babe 

- Billy showing you off at the pool.

Prom night

- Billy takes you to prom.

I Love You For You

- Billy has been working out a bit too much to gain back his muscles he feels as though he's lost recently.

First Day Of Kindergarten

- Billy is a bit emotional on his daughters first day of kindergarten.

I Love You

- Billy is in love.

“Do You Love Billy?”

- You and Billy being soft at a movie night with the gang.

Dad Material 

- Billy has a soft spot for little ones.

Teddy Bear

- Billy loves his adorable girlfriend.

He’s Home

- Billy loves his family.

Smut • ♡ •

Lavender Lace 

- Your first time with Billy

Everything’s Ok Now

- Billy has a nightmare about the events that happened in season 3, and all he wants to do is forget about it.

Beautiful (Plus Size! Reader)

- You drove to Billys house, tears streaming down your face, you were so done, done with all your fathers bullshit. You were meant to to be going on a date with Billy but ended up missing it due to your father.

Birthday Boy

- It’s Billys birthday and you have a plan to spoil him.

Gentle

- First time feels with Billy.

Officer Hargrove (Cop! Billy)

- You and officer Hargrove have a small arrangement regarding your sentence.

Backseat Lovin’

- You and Billy get down and dirty during drive in movie date.

Number 15 

- Things get a little bit spicy after a basketball game.

Princess

- You give Billy something to remember you for when you’re not around.

Keg Queen

- Billy likes the look of the new Keg Queen.

Being Horny And Pregnant

- You need Billy to help you get off because there is a certain baby bump in your way.

Baby

- Billy needs you after his father has hurt him once again.

Dirty Little Secret 

- Things get seamy after you find a little something in his draw.

Locker Room Loving

- You and billy get busy in the locker rooms. 

NSFW Alphabet 

- NSFW Alphabet with Billy.

Interruptions 

- You and Billy get interrupted.

Rules 

- Billy lays down some rules.

Sweat 

- Billy looks so good whilst he's working out.

Football 

- Things get steamy during a football match.

All The Good Girls Go To Hell

- You skip church because you’re horny for Billy.

Poor Max

- Max walks in on you and billy in an intimate position.

Shortcake

- Billy with a size kink.

Green Eyed Monster 

- Carol doesn't like the fact that you've managed to charm your way into Hargrove's pants.

Queen Of Hawkins

- Billy is smitten with the dominant Queen of Hawkins.

Reward 

 - You decide to reward Billy for winning his last basketball match.

Lovely

- Billy finally makes love to the girl who saved him from falling down a dark hole after the events of last summer.

Bad Girl 

- Trying BDSM with Billy.

Sweet Love

- Billy makes sweet love to you after a perfect proposal.

Take Things Slow

- Billy reflects back on his first time.

Scream My Name

- Billy doesn't like it when you're too shy.

His Damn Ego 

- Billy and his damn ego.

So Needy

- Thigh riding with Billy.

The Little Things You Do

- The little things you do that rile Billy up.

Kinky Fucker

- A few of Billys kinks hehe.

Angst • ♧ •

Secrets 

- Billy opens up to Y/N about about his father and finds out she's struggling with something similar.

Tire Screech 

- You thought that Tom was all you had left but after meeting Billy you knew what you two had wasn’t love.

Liar 

- The new kid Harrison likes you, but you're dating Billy so he decides to give you some ‘new’ information on Billy.

Bittersweet Symphony

- Billys always had this pent up frustration and anger within him which he's never known how to let out, until you show him your fathers old drum kit.

You’re an angel (Biracial! Reader)

- You want to meet Billys parents but he seems hesitant.

A Great Dad

- Billy will always protect his family.

Little Quirks

- Billy falls for the sweet girl who was once enraptured by Steve Harrington.

Im Sorry Angel

- Billys jealously could use some work.

I Really Fucking Like You Billy Hargrove

- Billy does something that he regrets, letting his temper get the best of him, resulting in you and him having an argument. However this just makes Billy even more angry and upsetting causing Max to have to help her brother out.

Don’t Come Near Her Again

- You boyfriend Colby hurt you again but Billy decides he won't stand for it.

‘For Y/N’

- Ever since your mothers seat you've felt numb, but Billys been there for you everyday, at exactly 4:30 pm to check up on you, until you’re ready.

Other • ★ / ♡ / ♧ •

[bananaofswifts]

Your guide to the singer-songwriter’s surprise follow-up to Folklore.

By

CARL WILSON

When everything’s clicking for Taylor Swift, the risk is that she’s going to push it too far and overtax the public appetite. On “Mirrorball” from Folklore, she sings, with admirable self-knowledge, “I’ve never been a natural/ All I do is try, try, try.” So when I woke up yesterday to the news that at midnight she was going to repeat the trick she pulled off with Folklore in July—surprise-releasing an album of moody pop-folk songs remote-recorded in quarantine with Aaron Dessner of the National as well as her longtime producer Jack Antonoff—I was apprehensive. Would she trip back into the pattern of overexposure and backlash that happened between 1989 and Reputation?

Listening to the new Evermore, though, that doesn’t feel like such a threat. A better parallel might be to the “Side B” albums that Carly Rae Jepsen put out after both Emotion and Dedicated, springing simply out of the artist’s and her fans’ mutual enthusiasm. Or, closer to Swift’s own impulses here, publishing an author’s book of short stories soon after a successful novel. Lockdown has been a huge challenge for musicians in general, but it liberated Swift from the near-perpetual touring and publicity grind she’s been on since she was a teen, and from her sense of obligation to turn out music that revs up stadium crowds and radio programmers. Swift has always seemed most herself as the precociously talented songwriter; the pop-star side is where her try-hard, A-student awkwardness surfaces most. Quarantine came as a stretch of time to focus mainly on her maturing craft (she turns 31 on Sunday), to workshop and to woodshed. When Evermore was announced, she said that she and her collaborators—clearly mostly Dessner, who co-writes and/or co-produces all but one of these 15 songs—simply didn’t want to stop writing after Folklore.

This record further emphasizes her leap away from autobiography into songs that are either pure fictions or else lyrically symbolic in ways that don’t act as romans à clef. On Folklore, that came with the thrill of a breakthrough. Here, she fine-tunes the approach, with the result that Evermore feels like an anthology, with less of an integrated emotional throughline. But that it doesn’t feel as significant as Folklore is also its virtue. Lowered stakes offer permission to play around, to joke, to give fewer fucks—and this album definitely has the best swearing in Swift’s entire oeuvre.

Because it’s nearly all Dessner overseeing production and arrangements, there isn’t the stylistic variety that Antonoff’s greater presence brought to Folklore. However, Swift and Dessner seem to have realized that the maximalist-minimalism that dominated Folklore, with layers upon layers of restrained instrumental lines for the sake of atmosphere, was too much of a good thing. There are more breaks in the ambience on Evermore, the way there was with Folklore’s “Betty,” the countryish song that was among many listener’s favorites. But there are still moments that hazard misty lugubriousness, and perhaps with reduced reward.

Overall, people who loved Folklore will at least like Evermore too, and the minority of Swift appreciators who disapproved may even warm up to more of the sounds here. I considered doing a track-by-track comparison between the two albums, but that seemed a smidgen pathological. Instead, here is a blatantly premature Day 1 rundown of the new songs as I hear them.

A pleasant yet forgettable starting place, “Willow” has mild “tropical house” accents that recall Ed Sheeran songs of yesteryear, as well as the prolix mixed metaphors Swift can be prone to when she’s not telling a linear story. But not too severely. I like the invitation to a prospective lover to “wreck my plans.” I’m less sure why “I come back stronger than a ’90s trend” belongs in this particular song, though it’s witty. “Willow” is more fun as a video (a direct sequel to Folklore’s “Cardigan” video) than as a lead track, but I’m not mad at it here either.

Written with “William Bowery”—the pseudonym of Swift’s boyfriend Joe Alwyn, as she’s recently confirmed—this is the first of the full story songs on Evermore, in this case a woman describing having walked away from her partner on the night he planned to propose. The music is a little floaty and non-propulsive, but the tale is well painted, with Swift’s protagonist willingly taking the blame for her beau’s heartbreak and shrugging off the fury of his family and friends—“she would have made such a lovely bride/ too bad she’s fucked in the head.” Swift sticks to her most habitual vocal cadences, but not much here goes to waste. Except, that is, for the title phrase, which doesn’t feel like it adds anything substantial. (Unless the protagonist was drunk?) I do love the little throwaway piano filigree Dessner plays as a tag on the end.

This is the sole track Antonoff co-wrote and produced, and it’s where a subdued take on the spirit of 1989-style pop resurges with necessary energy. Swift is singing about having a crush on someone who’s too attractive, too in-demand, and relishing the fantasy but also enjoying passing it up. It includes some prime Swiftian details, like, “With my Eagles t-shirt hanging from your door,” or, “At dinner parties I call you out on your contrarian shit.” The line about this thirst trap’s “hair falling into place like dominos” I find much harder to picture.

This is where I really snapped to attention. After a few earlier attempts, Swift has finally written her great Christmas song, one to stand alongside “New Year’s Day” in her holiday canon. And it’s especially a great one for 2020, full of things none of us ought to do this year—go home to visit our parents, hook up with an ex, spend the weekend in their bedroom and their truck, then break their hearts again when we leave. But it’s done with sincere yuletide affection to “the only soul who can tell which smiles I’m faking,” and “the warmest bed I’ve ever known.” All the better, we get to revisit these characters later on the album.

On first listen, I found this one of the draggiest Dressner compositions on the record. Swift locates a specific emotional state recognizably and poignantly in this song about a woman trapped (or, she wonders, maybe not trapped?) in a relationship with an emotionally withholding, unappreciative man. But the static keyboard chord patterns and the wandering melody that might be meant to evoke a sense of disappointment and numbness risk yielding numbing and disappointing music. Still, it’s growing on me.

Featuring two members of Haim—and featuring a character named after one of them, Este—“No Body, No Crime” is a straight-up contemporary country song, specifically a twist on and tribute to the wronged-woman vengeance songs that were so popular more than a decade ago, and even more specifically “Before He Cheats,” the 2006 smash by Carrie Underwood, of which it’s a near musical clone, just downshifted a few gears. Swift’s intricate variation on the model is that the singer of the song isn’t wreaking revenge on her own husband, but on her best friend’s husband, and framing the husband’s mistress for the murder. It’s delicious, except that Swift commits the capital offence of underusing the Haim sisters purely as background singers, aside from one spoken interjection from Danielle.

This one has some of the same issues as “Tolerate It,” in that it lags too much for too long, but I did find more to focus on musically here. Lyrically and vocally, it gets the mixed emotions of a relatively amicable divorce awfully damned right, if I may speak from painfully direct experience.

This is the song sung from the POV of the small-town lover that the ambitious L.A. actress from “Tis the Damn Season”—Dorothea, it turns out—has left behind in, it turns out, Tupelo. Probably some years past that Xmas tryst, when the old flame finally has made it. “A tiny screen’s the only place I see you now,” he sings, but adds that she’s welcome back anytime: “If you’re ever tired of being known/ For who you know/ You know that you’ll always know me.” It’s produced and arranged with a welcome lack of fuss. Swift hauls out her old high-school-romance-songs vocal tone to reminisce about “skipping the prom/ just to piss off your mom,” very much in the vein of Folklore’s teen-love-triangle trilogy.

A duet with Dessner’s baritone-voiced bandmate in the National, Matt Berninger, “Coney Island” suffers from the most convoluted lyrics on Evermore (which, I wonder unkindly, might be what brought Berninger to mind?). The refrain “I’m on a beach on Coney Island, wondering where did my baby go” is a terrific tribute to classic pop, but then Swift rhymes it with “the bright lights, the merry go,” as if that’s a serviceable shorthand for merry-go-round, and says “sorry for not making you my centerfold,” as if that’s somehow a desirable relationship outcome. The comparison of the bygone affair to “the mall before the internet/ It was the one place to be” is clever but not exactly moving, and Berninger’s lines are worse. Dessner’s droning arrangement does not come to the rescue.

This song is also overrun with metaphors but mostly in an enticing, thematically fitting way, full of good Swiftian dark-fairytale grist. It’s fun to puzzle out gradually the secret that all the images are concealing—an engaged woman being drawn into a clandestine affair. And there are several very good “goddamns.”

The lyrical conceit here is great, about two gold-digging con artists whose lives of scamming are undone by their falling in love. It reminded me of the 1931 pre-Code rom-com Blonde Crazy, in which James Cagney and Joan Blondell act out a very similar storyline. And I mostly like the song, but I can’t help thinking it would come alive more if the music sounded anything like what these self-declared “cowboys” and “villains” might sing. It’s massively melancholy for the story, and Swift needs a far more winningly roguish duet partner than the snoozy Marcus Mumford. It does draw a charge from a couple of fine guitar solos, which I think are played by Justin Vernon (aka Bon Iver, who will return shortly).

The drum machine comes as a refreshing novelty at this point. And while this song is mostly standard Taylor Swift torrents of romantic-conflict wordplay (full of golden gates and pedestals and dropping her swords and breaking her high heel, etc.), the pleasure comes in hearing her look back at all that and shrugging, “Long story short, it was a bad ti-i-ime,” “long story short, it was the wrong guy-uy-uy,” and finally, “long story short, I survived.” She passes along some counsel I’m sure she wishes she’d had back in the days of Reputation: “I wanna tell you not to get lost in these petty things/ Your nemeses will defeat themselves.” It’s a fairly slight song but an earned valedictory address.

Swift fan lore has it that she always sequences the real emotional bombshell as Track 5, but here it is at 13, her lucky number. It’s sung to her grandmother, Marjorie Finlay, who died when Swift was in her early teens, and it manages to be utterly personal—down to the sample of Marjorie singing opera on the outro—and simultaneously utterly evocative to anyone who’s been through such grief. The bridge, full of vivid memories and fierce regrets, is the clincher.

This electroacoustic kiss-off song, loaded up with at least a fistful of gecs if not a full 100 by Dessner and co-producers BJ Burton and James McAlister, seems to be, lyrically, one of Swift’s somewhat tedious public airings of some music-industry grudge (on which, in case you don’t get it, she does not want “closure”), but, sonically, it’s a real ear-cleaner at this point on Evermore. Why she seems to shift into a quasi-British accent for fragments of it is anyone’s guess. But I’m tickled by the line, “I’m fine with my spite and my tears and my beers and my candles.”

I’m torn about the vague imagery and vague music of the first few verses of the album’s final, title track. But when Vernon, in full multitracked upper-register Bon Iver mode, kicks in for the duet in the middle, there’s a jolt of urgency that lands the redemptive ending—whether it’s about a crisis in love or the collective crisis of the pandemic or perhaps a bit of both—and satisfyingly rounds off the album.

[lovemesomesurveys]

Do you take lessons for anything? No.

Has something really heavy ever fallen on you? No, thankfully. 

If you wear makeup, what colors do you usually wear? I haven’t worn any makeup for like 3 years now.

Does your shower have curtains or a glass door/wall? One does, the other has glass sliding doors.

If you have more than one pet, do they ever get jealous of each other? I only have one pet.

Is there a room in your house that you don’t like going in? No.

Do you remember the last question you were asked? What did you answer? “Is there a room in your house that you don’t like going in?” and I said, “No.”

Besides salt and butter, do you put anything on your popcorn? There’s this delicious garlic parm popcorn seasoning one of my local theaters offers that’s really good. You can actually get it at the store, which I have.

Are you lonely? I feel lonely in what I’m going through right now. 

What’s your favorite magazine to read? I haven’t read a magazine in several years.

Do you like pineapple? No.

Have you ever seen fireflies? Yeah.

Have you ever trespassed? No.

Do you tell your parents where you are going? I don’t go anywhere now except for doctor appointments, which my mom takes me to, but back when I had a social life and friends and actually did stuff I always let my family know I was going to be hanging out. It didn’t matter that I was an adult, that’s how my family is with each other. We don’t give a play by play, but it’s just nice to let someone know.

Do you raise your hand or participate in class? Ugh, I hated the classes that required that as part of your grade. 

Do you like visiting the mall? Why or why not? I used to. 

Have you ever purposely hurt an animal? No!

Would you ever see a therapist? Yes. I’m actually supposed to call Monday and finally set something up. 

Are you afraid of heights? Yes.

Are you afraid of the dark? I don’t want to be out and about at night and I have to sleep with my TV on for both light and sound.

Are you a jealous person? I can be. I haven’t felt jealous in quite a long time, though.

When is your birthday? July 28th.

What are you listening to right now? An ASMR video.

Have you ever been caught doing something you weren’t supposed to be doing? Yes.

Are you still friends with someone from kindergarten? I just have Facebook “friends” that I’ve known since kindergarten.

What is the most important thing to you? My loved ones.

Do you like whipped cream? Yeah.

Are you close to your mother? Yes, she’s my best friend.

Are you close to your father? We don’t have the same kind of relationship my mom and I do, but we don’t have a bad one or anything. It’s just different.

Do you walk around bare foot when you're at home? Or do you wear socks? I always have socks on.

Do you like chocolate popsicles? I did as a kid. I haven’t had one in such a long time.

Would you ever be your school’s mascot who wears that costume? No.

Would you rather see the Great Wall of China or Big Ben? Both would be an awesome experience.

Have you ever written a poem? I dabbled with it in my teens. It’s so cringe.

Would you ever be a tornado chaser? Uh, absolutely not. I’d be trying to get as far away as possible.

What is your favorite thing to eat with bbq sauce, if you even like that stuff? I very rarely use BBQ sauce, but it’s good with chicken tenders.

Your parents tell you that this summer, you get to pick the vacation. Where do you plan to go? I wish I could have a relaxing beach getaway. In the perfect scenario we’d be able to rent a beach house and have our own private beach area where I could rent a canopy bed and lie out at the beach. That’s what I need right now.

What do you think is a good theme for a prom? *shrug* My prom was over a decade ago now, I’m not thinking about that stuff.

Have you ever had to do a class in summer school? I had to take a math class in 6th grade because I missed a lot of school due to a long hospital stay after a surgical procedure and then I had to retake a math course once in community college. I also took some summer classes voluntarily as well at community college to speed things up a bit.

Do you get nervous when you go to the doctor? About what? Always. I just expect the worst all the time.

Have you ever been to the rainforest? No.

Have you ever created a website? Just like on those websites like freewebs or whatever it was called back in the day for fansites. It was just website that let you make your own simple websites.

Ever thought about writing a book? Yes.

Have you ever had a dream where you killed someone? No, but I’ve had nightmares where I’m being chased, attacked, and even shot at. 

Do you ever make up stories in your head and wish they come true? I mean, yeah.

Which is worse: stuffy nose or runny nose? Both suck, but a runny nose can really be a nuisance if it’s bad. I’ve had times where I had to stuff a tissue in my nostril cause it was so bad. Not being able to breathe isn’t pleasant either, though...

Which is worse: Sick to your stomach or sore throat? That’s tough cause I have a lot of stomach problems and it’s absolutely awful. I very rarely get sore throats, I don’t even recall the last time, but having it hurt when swallowing is not fun and swallowing is something you continuously do, so it’s not exactly something you can avoid. I also feel like there’s not a whole lot you can do about it either. 

Do you think your last relationship was a disaster? I wouldn’t say a disaster. 

Have you ever solved a Rubik’s Cube? Nope. I’ve never really given it a real try either, I give up quite easily and quickly. 

Who do you think is the easiest to talk to? It’s easier for me to talk to the void in surveys or on Twitter. 

Would you consider yourself to be emo? I’ll always be emo.

Do you have a favourite metal band or do you not like metal? I’m not into metal, but lately the surveys I’ve been taking it’s clear that the creators sure are. It’s likely the same person.

What is your current desktop picture? Alexander Skarsgard.

Thick or thin blanket? I just use a throw blanket.

Who are your favorite bands? Idk man, I haven’t really been into much music lately. <<< Same. I have my favorites that have been my favorites forever and always will be, but I don’t have any new ones or any I’ve discovered recently.

How do you mark through your word search puzzles? I prefer to use a highlighter, but circling with a pen works.

Have you ever sewn something? No.

What did you eat for dinner last night? A Lean Cuisine microwave meal.

Ever been grounded? Yeah.

Have you seen all of the Jaws movies? I haven’t seen any of them.

When was the last time you played cards? (not on the computer) It’s been a few years.

Have you ever drank Cherry Coke? Yeah. That was one of my favorites when I was younger.

Have you ever had a black eye? No.

Have you ever eaten a bug? Never voluntarily, that’s for sure. I don’t want to think about the times I unknowingly have. *shivers*

Do you like pranking people? No.

Did you ever take a cooking class in school? No.

Do you celebrate St. Patrick’s Day? Nah. On that day my mom just makes corned beef and cabbage, mostly cause my dad loves it. I don’t care for it, though.

Do you use Skype? No. 

Have you ever participated in local magazine cover girl searches? No.

Have you ever been called a skank/slut because of the way you dress? No.

Is your ex sexually attractive to you still? I haven’t seen him in like 5 years. He doesn’t post photos of himself on social media either so I honestly have no idea what he looks like now.

Describe the most romantic moment you’ve ever had. I don’t feel like it right now.

Have you ever cheated on a test? No.

Have you ever been to couple’s counseling? No.

How often does your employer ask you to work overtime? I don’t have a job.

Did you often read for fun when you were a kid? All the time. I’ve always loved to read.

When was the last time you were scared? I’ve been really stressed and nervous about some health related things.

What’s your favorite song by Rihanna? I like several of her songs. Can you speak binary? No. I know absolutely nothing about that.

Would you rather live somewhere that had hurricanes or tornadoes? Neither, thanks. 

Have you ever had a pet that you disliked? No.

When was the last time you saw hail? It’s been several years, actually. 

What is on your mind right this second: A lot of things.

Have you ever given a nickname to your pet(s)? Uh, yeah. Countless nicknames.

When was the last time you shaved your legs? It’s been awhile. Hair doesn’t really grow there for me, so.

Do you ever try free samples at the store? Not usually, but I have. Especially at Costco.

Do you like boys with long hair? My personal preference is short hair.

Do you like root beer? I’ve always had a love/hate relationship with Root Beer. I used to not like it at all, then I could tolerate it if that’s all there was and I wanted something, and then there have been times where I’ve actually wanted it and enjoyed it, so. *shrug* It was never a first choice, though. 

What is the best fast food place, in your opinion? I’m gonna count Wingstop as fast food. 

Do you have faith in yourself? No. :/

[paodequeijofeliz-blog]

I would do it all again (NSFW)

Ride or Die Fanfiction (characters and main story belongs to Pixelberry Studios).

Pairing: Mona and MC (Annie)

Information: this takes place after the first book.

Summary: After what happened at the parking lot, each member of the crew tries to build a new life, following the “every man for himself” motto. But Annie doesn’t agree with that and tries to pull them back together, especially Mona, who she has been waiting for too many years.

Warnings: NSFW

Part 1 Part 2 Part 4

I would do it all again - Part 3

          Annie was already asleep on the couch by the time Mona had returned. There was a book opened on the floor, a half empty mug of tea and something stupid passing on TV. She didn’t hear the sound of the door, but felt fingers caressing her hair, earning a sleepy sigh and a slow stretch from the girl. Eyes opened to face a beautiful woman leaning in to kiss her on the lips. Was that a dream? Annie had that dream so many times before.

         “Ouch! Hey!” Mona complained when felt a pinch on her forearm. “What was that for?”

         “To check if you’re real.” She whispered, sitting down to make room for two.

         “You’re supposed to pinch yourself, dumbass. To wake you up, not the person you’re dreaming with.”

         “Oh, but it’s more fun to pinch you. And if this were just a dream, I wouldn’t wanna wake me up so soon.”          

         The Lebanese didn’t argue against that. Instead, all she wanted to do was to pull the girl closer, kiss her a little bit longer, roam hands over her body… Remember how Annie was soft and easy to tease. After that much time, it was like nothing had changed, but everything was different, all at once. Six years felt like too long.

         Like she could hear those thoughts, Annie threw her arms around Mona’s neck, pushing her lips into a sudden deep kiss. One of Mona’s fear was for them not to be on the same page regarding sex. They had only one experience together, the girl’s first time to be exact, and if Dom was right about it, then Annie didn’t date anyone after that.

         Her fear proved to be wrong, though. So wrong.

         “Are you sure?” Mona’s husky voice sounded eager to continue, but she kept her hands to herself, waiting for a confirmation… Which came by Annie crawling to her lap, those kisses still deep and breathless.

         “Hell, yeah. Stop worrying and touch me, goddammit”.

         That was sufficiently clear. Mona was bursting in heat inside, her arms holding the woman in a way there was no space between then. Their kissing lead to removing clothes, tripping, and finding the path to the bedroom in the dark. A naked Annie was thrown in bed, breath taken away, fingers holding the sheets strongly while cursing and begging not to stop. It was hard, fast, hot. She could feel her body burning, and the more Annie begged, the more she received, her hips rocking against Mona’s hand. The feeling brought back flashbacks from prom night, and just like then, she arched the body and came on that woman’s hands, unable to hold it back any further.

         “You’re still easy, aren’t you…” Mona placed fiery kisses along the girl’s neck, capturing her mouth in the end. “Damn, I pictured this so much…”

         “Did you, huh?” Annie chuckled, trying to recover herself. Suddenly, she pushed Mona to sit on the edge of the bed, kneeling before her with a mischievous smile. “Have you been touching yourself picturing me between your legs?”

         Mona’s dark eyes locked with hers, desire written all over them. “Why don’t you put your pretty mouth on me so I can see if my imagination was right?”

         That made Annie bit her lips, but it wouldn’t happen so easily, no. She decided to play with Mona’s body: kissing down the belly, nibbling her inner thing, one finger sliding slowly against the entrance, but never going in… The woman growled and complained, opening her legs even more. When Annie placed a light kiss against her clit, she looked up to meet those demanding dark eyes, a defiantly tone on her voice: “Make me.”

         Mona immediately gripped her by the wrists. In a sudden movement, she pulled Ann back to bed, holding those arms above her head. “Open your mouth”, she whispered against the girl’s ear, causing a shiver of anticipation. Holding the wrists pinned on the bed, Mona spread her legs and fit Annie’s face between them. A loud moan came right after feeling her tongue moving eagerly inside, tasting everything around before sliding up to her clit.

         “Don’t you dare stop” said Mona, hips moving on the same rhythm, so close to peak her body was trembling already. She had lost her strength and that made an opening for Annie to retreat her arms, grabbing the woman’s butt and burring the tongue inside her right when she came. The moan that accompanied it was so loud it echoed through the apartment. The most delicious sound Annie had ever heard.

         Touching proved to be easy. That night and at others. They found synchrony with sex, fucking around like a recently married couple. Morning, afternoon, nights… There was no better time than now, and no better place than the entire house. They even fucked in the car once, after Mona bended over to take her earphones and that arouse Annie too much.

         A few days later, both fell on the bed, sweaty and tired. This time, Mona was awfully quiet… As she had been for most of the day.

“Are you okay?” Annie turned to look at her, but the woman’s face was staring at the ceiling.

         “Yeah, I am.” Mona sighed, Dominick’s words still flying on her head, each day a little louder. “I… We should… Talk. About things. Some of it. Argh, goddammit!”

         “It’s okay…” Annie’s fingers caressed her arm to comfort. “Why don’t I ask you questions, and you just answer the ones you want? Sounds better?”

         A nod. The hard expression of a statue.

         “Tell me if I go too far, alright?” she waited for another nod, but Mona only arched an eyebrow. “Ok. So. Practical things first. Do you want to stay here? I don’t mean forever or for a long time or… Just, for now. Do you want to stay here for now? For as long as you like. God, I’m terrible at it too, ain’t I?”

         “Yes. For both questions.”

         Annie chuckled. “Fine. Moving on. Are you comfortable with the idea of opening an auto shop with Toby and Ximena in the future?”

         “Ye… Wait, what? With them? How…?”

         “We’ve been in touch.” She smiled mischievously. “C’mon, I had to figure out a plan. I knew you’d wanna see them again, even though you tried to hide it. The place seemed perfect. Two huge apartments with an auto shop all set. There’s even enough room for Ximena to have a tattoo studio, which she’s totally on board for. Toby already has a mechanic license. We just need his parole to be over. In the meantime, there’s a lot to renovate down there, I only fixed the apartments.”

         Mona couldn’t believe it. Her mouth was slightly opened. “So, the door in front of ours…”

         “It’s another apartment just like this one. Twins.”

         “Damn, Ann. You really thought this through.” She bit her thumb, still wondering. The picture was so good. To live next to each other, put their hands on cars again… “What about Colt and Logan? Know anything about ‘em?”

         “No. I haven’t seen Colt ever since the day you were shot. And Logan is in touch with Toby and Ximena, visiting them. We talked over the phone a couple times. But he doesn’t know about the plan. I wasn’t sure you’d like the shop idea.”

         Mona sighed, mad at herself for actually liking it so badly. “I do. A little. Move on to the next question.”

         “Are you… Uhm… Is there someone… Who wouldn’t appreciate the idea of us… You know…” Annie looked away, preferring to just stare at her hands. “Oh, fuck it. Do you have someone? From the inside?”

         Mona’s heart speeded. That was the window she needed to talk about what happened in prison, to explain herself. But the picture of their future with the auto shop was so temptingly close… “No. I don’t.”

Not a lie. Not the whole truth, though.

         Annie tried not to look happy about that answer. And failed. “Ok. Noted. That’s important information.”

         “Gosh, you didn’t change at all, did ya? You’re blushing like a teen.”

         “Stop it!” She covered her face, leaning forward and hiding herself on Mona’s shoulder. Her voice sounded muffled, but still understandable. “Next question. But that’s more likely to be a promise.”

         “Oh, gee. That can’t be good.”

         “Can you try not to do anything that could damage your parole and send you back to jail, please? Six years was enough. I missed you.”

         The Lebanese rested her nose on the top of Annie’s head, smelling her scent for a while. She hated promises. Old Mona would have laughed and teased her about it. The idea of living a peaceful life with a steady job and the same girl on her bed was never the plan. But when she saw Annie drive away from the hospital door, things changed. It wasn’t only prison that damaged Mona, even though it helped a lot. It was losing Annie. Fearing, every day, that at any time that gorgeous girl would stop sending letters and disappear. Find a person, marry, and leave their story behind.  

         And then, it didn’t. Annie never left.

         Letters kept coming, gifts, calls... Every Sunday, Mona loved to hear the guard saying, “visit’s waiting for you”, though she never moved from the bed. Annie wasn’t like Ada. Ada let Mona to go to jail, chose it, and then vanished for good. Ada never cared. Two very different people, but it took a while for Mona to believe that. Seeing her ex-girlfriend in prison, right on the next cell, was a low blow and a trip to memory’s land she didn’t want to take. 

          And what they did in there…

         “I promise.” Mona whispered through a heavy breath. “I’ll try.”

         God knew how she was willing to try anything for that girl.

[athingthatwantsvirginia]

Really, Marcia?

PART THRTY-FIVE OF THE DO YOU SEE HER FACE? SERIES

Pairing: Jess Mariano x Original Character (Ella Stevens)

Warnings: mentions of parent death, mentions of anxiety, plentiful pop culture references, lack of dialogue because this is exposition and foreshadowing for the next chapter just hang in there with me friends

Word Count: 4.6K

Summary: Jess and Ella return to Stars Hollow once again during graduation season.

Dropping the bags again in the apartment above Luke’s almost made Ella want to laugh out loud. Maybe she shouldn’t have made such a big deal of leaving the diner to move to Philadelphia; she felt like she almost couldn’t escape Connecticut. The trip, this time, was planned in advance, however. Both Adam and Rory were graduating, and Jess’s new sister had been born only a week earlier. Much was to be done, many people to visit. It made Ella feel slightly overwhelmed, the prescribed familial nonsense. Going back to Stars Hollow was easier when she could just casually pop into Luke’s or her home, and then drive away in the Station Wagon with Jess in the passenger seat and Liz Phair on the radio whenever she felt compelled. But the graduation had a scheduled time, Rory’s graduation party had a scheduled time. There was no getting out of it.

For a moment, she had thought about staying back in her old room in the little blue house. She felt as though they were taking advantage of Luke staying over at his place as often as they did. But then it occurred to her that she had no real idea what her room looked like anymore. The few times she’d been over in recent years, she hadn’t even ventured past the threshold of the small hallway, her door the second on the right. She felt maybe it was better to leave the room the way it had been in her memory. She was not in the business of reopening old wounds for no reason other than curiosity.

There was also the issue of her father. Fiona had been cagey at best about Jake on the phone. Would he even show up to the graduation? Surely he would. Even Noah had traveled back home, for the first time in years, though without his fiancé. She was a nurse, and hadn’t been able to get away from the midnight shifts. He was a paralegal, though, and had been able to swing a Saturday afternoon graduation. But, still, there was a gnawing feeling in her stomach. A fear he would simply not show. He had been at her high school graduation, with his robotic hugs and teary eyes and the usual detached way about him. It hadn’t been warm and fuzzy, but he had been there for her. He had clapped as she crossed the stage. And, as far as Ella was concerned, Adam deserved more than she ever got from Jake. Adam called often, and seemed to get along rather well with Fiona, but remained flighty about their father. She could count on him changing the subject every time Jake was brought up.

“Hey! Eleanor,” Jess said, breaking her from her reverie.

She blinked harshly and jumped at the sound of his voice. Slowly, she turned her gaze away from the view of the window above Luke’s kitchen sink. Town square was decorated with florals, and the troubadour stood playing an upbeat, folksy tune on one of the corners. And, as she thought about her family, it had all struck her as a bit plastic. It seemed impossible for so much heartache to happen to her while living in a place like Stars Hollow, but it had. In spite of the sunshiney smiles and the constant offerings for help. Probably why she got along with Jess so well, who understood more than anyone she had ever met what it was to feel a pain she could truly recognize. Luke, too. She wondered at how many people milling down on the sidewalk were concealing all of their hurt for the sake of maintaining a positive, cheerful facade. The farther away the years took her from her upbringing, the more reasons she felt she was better off somewhere other than her hometown. She had never quite been able to polish her outward mold, could never keep it all under wraps. Instead, she ended up cursing out kids who tried to steal random shit from the diner or punishing herself through constant schoolwork and lack of sleep, all to keep her problems from making it from her mind to her mouth. And, most of the time, she had slipped up eventually. Once more, her father came to her mind. He hadn’t been able to wear a convincing mask, either.

“...yeah?” she asked, then looked down to realize the glass she had been filling with cold water from the tap was overflowing onto her hand.

Quickly, she shut off the sink and sipped carefully at the drink, until it was back down to a manageable level. She switched it to the other hand and shook off the wetness, though it hadn’t felt unwelcome after having just come in from the May heat. Jess smirked quizzically at her, from where he stood at the fridge. They were meant to have a late lunch and then go over to Liz’s house and meet the baby, Doula. Despite how much Luke was making fun of it, Ella couldn’t say she hated the name.

“Jeez, Stevens. Where’d you go?” Jess’s voice was lilted and smug as he pulled some leftover sandwiches from the fridge. Luke had instructed them to finish off whatever diner cast-offs they could find. It reminded Jess of his teen years, tense dinners with Luke at the small kitchen table, eating stale food which had been prepped but never actually ordered. And he felt an odd, surprising jolt of nostalgia. But his face didn’t show it.

She shook her head at herself, placing her glass down on the table and grabbing the cutlery as Jess put the leftovers out on the table buffet-style. It reminded her of the way he arranged a meal on her kitchen table the night they’d watched the prom scene of Carrie together, when he’d brought her a care package because she had a migraine and then refused to admit to it later. And, for the most fleeting of moments, she was in the past and they were the people they had once been. A fond smirk tugged at her lips as she sat down, plates and forks in hand.

“Nowhere,” she replied finally, her voice a sigh. Before Jess could ask anything further, she gave him a pointed glance as she piled some cold mashed potatoes onto her plate and continued. “You sure you’re okay going to Liz’s house today? We could always wait until tomorrow morning, then we could have an excuse to leave and go get ready for the graduation.”

He seemed to consider the idea of a moment as he took his first bite of meatloaf, then shook his head. “No. Let’s just rip the bandaid off.”

“That’s the spirit when you’re going to see a new baby,” she quipped.

“I can guarantee the baby will be easier to handle than Liz and TJ, no matter how much she cries,” Jess grumbled, looking down at his food.

Ella bit the inside of her cheek and leveled him with her eyes. Each time they returned to Stars Hollow, he seemed to get more anxious about it. At first, it was because the entire town had hated him as a teen. But it got much worse when Liz moved there. She thought it strange how much everyone seemed to discount how Jess felt about this, how much Luke complained about her. How much they expected Jess to get over what he was feeling and play dutiful son. It reminded her of the way she felt she needed to treat her own father after her mother died. Though the sexist bullshit about her being the ‘woman of the house’ had also played a part. She knew how Luke felt about family, how he would always show up for family regardless of circumstance. Maybe Jess was the same way, loyal to a fault. But maybe it was only for his chosen family. Maybe the rest of it was more because of all the outward pressure he faced.

She reached over and ran a hand through his hand, smoothing it out. For a moment, she thought of saying something, but decided it wasn’t the right time to start a conversation about Jess’s childhood, or the lingering effects he still wouldn’t acknowledge. Not right before seeing his mother. She was trying hard lately to be patient, despite the way his eyes became guarded at the mention of his new sister or his mother, or the increased frequency of his nightmares. It was getting worse before her eyes and she didn’t know why. But Jess was Jess. And he wasn’t going to see it until he was ready to. It almost physically pained her, the effort of swallowing down the words, but she bit her tongue nonetheless.

He offered her a lazy, lopsided smile in return.

.   .   .

His grip on her hand was tight as they made their way into Liz and TJ’s house, just as gaudy and eclectic as Ella remembered from the baby shower. She might’ve even found it charming if it weren’t for the screaming color of the decor. The place smelled of burnt toast and sour milk, and Ella was instantly glad she and Jess had chosen to eat beforehand, just in case Liz asked them to stay for dinner. The scent was overpowered only by the strong perfume Liz was wearing, which Ella couldn’t ignore as Liz pulled her in for a big hug of greeting.

“Come in, come in,” Liz said in her high, sing-song voice as she led them down the front hall and into the living room. “She’s just waking up from nap!”

The room was littered with toys, empty bottles, blankets, story books Doula wouldn’t be able to read for years. But it was sweet. Ella could see how much they’d been preparing, planning. For a second, she was relieved about it, but then the feeling mixed with a distasteful sadness. Jess had never specifically addressed his bedtime routine as a child, but Ella was fairly positive Liz had never read him Goodnight Moon. She gave his hand a final squeeze before disentangling their fingers and sitting down on the paisley patterned couch. Liz lifted Doula up from the bassinet in the corner by the rocking chair. Ella could barely see the baby beneath the patchwork quilt she was swaddled in. Doula fussed for a moment, and Liz smiled at the two of them apologetically.

“She needs a change. I’ll be right back!” she said, retreating back into the bedroom. “Make yourselves comfortable!”

“Okay. Thanks,” Ella replied cordially. She looked back at Jess as his mother exited the room. “You okay?”

He shrugged, his eyes surveying the clutter. “I guess so. It’s just weird still. All of this.”

Ella hummed, nodding.

“And I’m not really used to the whole baby thing yet. I’ve never even held one before,” Jess said, slightly sheepish and slightly curious. He crossed his arms over the Metallica logo on his worn t-shirt. He’d taken a half day working at Truncheon before they left for Connecticut, and was always happy to change into less professional attire after his shifts.

“I know, but it’ll be easy. Unless TJ pops out and sings that song the frog does in Looney Tunes. Then is the only instance when you’d be even slightly at risk of dropping her,” Ella assured him, leaning back into the overstuffed couch.

She’d gleaned from their conversation the night before that his inexperience with children was also not helping his nerves. The only time she’d ever recalled Jess interacting with kids for any real length of time was the one Thanksgiving she’d brought him to meet her family. But even then, she’d been surprised how easily he’d wowed Erin with his card tricks, and played along with her jokes. Not something she’d exactly expected from the boy who wore a battered leather jacket and a constant scowl and a scarred heart on his sleeve.

“Why do you always worry he’s gonna do that?” Jess asked, cracking a smile for the first time since they’d walked in.

“I told you! He sang it to me one time when I was working and he was hanging out at the diner. He was trying to figure out what song to serenade your mom with,” she explained, eyes wide and utterly serious. “I was just wiping down the counter, minding my own business, and he just appeared, like, right over my shoulder.”

Jess rolled his eyes at the story, remembering when Ella had first told him about it over one of their phone calls, back when they were hundreds of miles apart. “Well, it doesn’t seem like he’s here right now.”

“I didn’t think he was in the diner when it happened,” Ella countered, her voice jokingly grave.

Jess chuckled but didn’t have a chance to respond as Liz reentered the room. A large smile stood out on her face, the baby dressed in a soft punk onesie in her arms. Doula squirmed around a little and cooed, but didn’t seem altogether unhappy.

“Ready to meet your little sister, Jess?” Liz asked, coming over and preparing to put Doula in Jess’s arms before he even had a chance to answer.

“Guess so,” he muttered hastily, eyes widening.

“Just be careful with her head,” Ella offered, watching as Liz hovered over her son, placing her daughter’s head in the crook of his arm.

Jess was surprised at how naturally his other arm moved to cradle her. She felt so light, it was as though he was holding nothing at all. Her skin was slightly flushed from the warmth of the quilt she’d been napping in, and he could feel the heat against his arms and his chest, through his t-shirt. His heart fluttered around anxiously in his chest, and he couldn’t help the slight trembling in his hands, but he was pretty sure he had a good grip on her. Liz straightened up again, looking down at the two of them. Jess almost couldn’t take his eyes off the baby, embarrassed at how awestruck he was. Ella’s nieces were the youngest kids he had ever been in contact with. He had never met someone when they were only a week old before.

“Isn’t she something?” Liz said, hands on her hips. “She looked a lot like Danny Devito when she first came out, but I think she’s finally getting past that early ugly baby phase.”

Jess hummed in absent acknowledgement, but said nothing. Doula had thin wisps of blonde hair, and pudgy, rosy cheeks. Her fingers were curled into small fists, her legs scrunched up. He wondered vaguely if she was going to fall back asleep, since it seemed she couldn’t keep her eyes open for very long. She smelled like rash cream, but he couldn’t bring himself to be annoyed at it.

“Yeah, she’s beautiful, Liz,” Ella answered, though her gaze went back and forth between the baby and Jess. She couldn’t think of a time when she’d seen his eyes so clear and full of wonder before. She’d been too young to hold a newborn when Adam arrived, but she remembered the feeling of holding Erin as a baby, in the hospital just hours after Julie had given birth to her. It was certainly a unique feeling, and she felt her heart swell at the thought of Jess getting to experience it.

Glancing back at the kitchen for a moment, Liz once again gained a frantic tone in her voice. But, after having known her for so long, Ella knew it wasn’t unusual. Liz was the kind of person who put her coffee cup on the top of her car while unlocking the door, and then drove away without remembering it, the mug shattering and coffee splattering on the road behind her.

“Damn, I was just makin’ a bottle when you guys got here. TJ usually does that stuff, but dinner got a little burned. He had to go get some Plan B takeout. Let me finish with the formula,” Liz said, making her way back towards the opening into the kitchen. “You guys okay with her for a second?”

“Yeah. Fine,” Jess answered, surprising Ella.

Just as Liz left again, Doula opened her eyes once more. But instead of letting them shut, she kept them open. She stared up at Jess, her large brown eyes meeting his and doing their best to focus on his face.

“She’s got a withering stare,” he murmured.

“Isn’t so hard, is it?” Ella shifted a little closer to him, leaning over his shoulder to see Doula. “You didn’t have to be nervous.”

“Yeah, maybe not,” Jess said quietly, a small smile on his face as he glanced over at Ella.

.   .   .

Back when she graduated high school, there had been rain. The day before, they’d had to move the ceremony preparation into the small auditorium. People were squished inside, standing up in the aisles once the seats ran out. Ella’s valedictorian speech had been a bit more than daunting with a bunch of irritated family and friends facing her, those who had traveled miles to Stars Hollow only to be packed into the smelly room like sardines. She supposed having graduation outside in the gazebo was better. The class size was small at Stars Hollow High, but it was best when everyone still had personal space. The one downside was the heat. Connecticut was not usually up near ninety degrees in late May, but a pocket of dry air was currently sitting atop the state, moving at a glacial pace.

Ella and Jess had sat sweating on some lawn chairs. While Julie and her husband Michael, who still lived in the same small house in New Britain, were on Ella’s other side, trying to get their girls to sit through the ceremony to moderate success. Annie’s wild curls were blowing in the scorching wind as she sat on her father’s lap, reading the small storybook she’d brought with her. Erin, on the other hand, just about to cross over into adolescence and middle school, had folded her arms sullenly over her chest and rolled her eyes at nearly every name called up to receive a diploma. Ella didn’t imagine she would’ve reacted much better at that age, being forced to sit out in the heat for hours only to watch Adam be handed a piece of paper. Noah had been on the far side of their row of seats, in his plain clothes, looking stoic as usual. He would be leaving just after the fanfare ended. He’d stayed at a motel the night before, with perhaps even less desire to stay in the little blue house than Ella had.

The valedictorian speeches were actually pretty good, but long. Adam would’ve been giving one if he hadn’t stopped trying in every one of his classes except for those involving science during his senior year. Ella respected the decision though. She had never found any application for calculus in adult life, no matter how hard she had worked at it in high school.

Fiona and Jake had shown up, together for some reason, ten minutes late. No seats were left near Ella, or anyone else in the family. Instead, they were relegated to the far back row. Her brows furrowed at their entrance, but they didn’t get close enough to Ella for her to say anything. Jess had brought her arm around her shoulder as she watched them pass her without so much as a look, and took to whispering jokes about their old principal in her ear. It didn’t work as well to distract her as he had hoped, but it had still earned him a laugh or two, which was far from nothing.

As they all stood around afterwards, under the shade of some trees behind the old gazebo, congratulating Adam, Ella couldn’t shake the thoughts of her parents from her mind. She wondered how different the day would be if her mother had lived. Would her parents still be together? Probably. Despite the problems they hid, the ones Ella had become more aware of the older she got, they did love each other. No matter how much her mother laid down and took Jake’s outbursts and his alcoholism, and no matter how much her father ignored Sophia’s distracted nature and inability to decide on anything in life, they loved each other. And, the thought struck her suddenly, that maybe everything would have been easier to swallow if they hadn’t loved each other so much. It would have been easier to accept how quickly everything fell apart, and how quickly her father had found someone new to fill the hole in his heart.

“You okay?” Jess asked, close to her ear as they lingered amongst the group, pictures having been taken and pleasantries having been exchanged.

“Just peachy,” she replied, unable to hide the bitterness in her voice.

“Yeah, I can see that,” he said, pressing a kiss to the crown on her head and giving her hand another squeeze. It hadn’t taken him long to gather how angry seeing her father again had made Ella. He wondered when the last time had been.

“I could do without the Brady Bunch performance,” she whispered back to him, gesturing to the members of her family as they continued with fabricated niceties.

“Really, Marcia? But you’re the oldest sister! That means you would’ve been prom queen!” Jess teased.

She rolled her eyes and snorted a laugh. “Whatever, Wally Logan.”

Approaching the two of them with narrowed eyes, Erin still had her arms crossed over her frilly dress. She had more than one bandaid on each knee, and she had already pulled the french braid out of her red hair. Speaking mostly to Ella, she sized Jess up.

“I remember him,” Erin said suspiciously.

A confused, bemused grin crossed Ella’s face. “Yeah. At Thanksgiving. You were like five. You remember that?”

“I have a really good memory,” Erin said, shrugging, confident and casual.

Ella chuckled at the flippant ten-year-old.

“Photographic, huh?” Jess asked, eyebrows raised.

“Pretty close,” Erin replied, then focused her eyes back on Ella. “Did you ever figure out his middle name?”

“Sure did,” Ella answered, smirk growing. “You wanna hear it?”

“Of course,” Erin said. “I know for a fact it’s not Santa Claus.”

Jess rolled his eyes.

Ella leaned down and whispered in Erin’s ear. Straightening up again, Ella watched Erin’s gaze roam over to Jess doubtfully.

“What kind of a name is Cosmo?” Erin asked.

“Listen, my mom’s into crystals and-” Jess began, but Michael called Erin over for something.

“Gotta go,” Erin said, and skipped off towards her father without another word.

“C’mon, Elle,” Jess groaned, a blush creeping up his neck and warming the tips of his ears.

She chuckled, nudging him with her shoulder. “Sorry, Cosmo.”

Before Jess was able to retort, Fiona and Jake approached them. Considering they were split up, the peculiarity of the two of them arriving together wasn’t lost on anyone, not that it would ever be mentioned. At a closer proximity, Ella was surprised to see how different Jake looked. His hair was greyer, he was skinnier, there were dark circles under his eyes. Whatever has been going on in Maryland didn’t seem to be conducive to health. She had to bite back her sigh at the sight of him. Fiona was more or less the same, though Ella had visited her more or less recently. She couldn’t remember the last time she had laid eyes on her father. The shadow of the man he had been when she was a child was almost completely gone. Her heart twisted painfully in her chest.

“Hey, kids,” Fiona said, giving Ella a quick hug.

“Oh, hi,” Ella chirped, surprised at her instant warmth.

She also hugged Jess, shocking everyone involved.

“So good to see you guys! How are things in Philly? Adam tells me you just got a new apartment?” Fiona asked, buzzing and bubbly. Her black hair was cropped close to her head. Ella remembered how she used to let apprentices at the beauty salon experiment on her locks during breaks.

“Yeah, we’ve been there about a month,” Ella said. “It’s only a few blocks over from school. I can walk there.”

“How nice,” Fiona smiled.

“It is,” Jess agreed.

Shifting uncomfortably from foot-to-foot, Jake finally interjected. “Hi, Ellie.”

“Hey, dad,” she said, biting the inside of her cheek.

“Young man,” Jake greeted Jess coldly, nodding.

Jess gave a curt nod and a thin-lipped smile in response.

There was a long pause before anyone spoke again, filled with distant, amiable chatter of other families and shrieks of congratulations. Out of the corner of her eye, Ella could see Adam was already off with his friends. Soon, they would be headed to dinner and Project Graduation. Part of Ella was glad Adam didn’t want a big day of family celebration. No one would’ve survived any extended period of false positivity.

“I see you’ve got tattoos now, Ellie,” Jake said, looking down at the tulip on her arm, exposed in her spaghetti strap dress. “Your mother would’ve called that sinful, you know.”

The corners of Ella’s lips tugged up into a resentful smile, the words dripping with venom as they left her mouth before she could stop them. “Well, it’s a good thing she’s dead then, isn’t it?”

Both Fiona and Jake’s jaws dropped and it seemed all the oxygen had been sucked out of the air around them. Ella’s stomach dropped and she brought her hand over her mouth just after she said it. Her hazel eyes grew to the size of saucers. Immediately, Jess took her by the shoulders and began leading her in the direction of the diner, blurting out excuses.

“Hey, nice to see you folks, but we have to get to Rory’s graduation party tonight and it’d be pretty rude if we were late so…” he trailed off, stopping once they were far enough away, leaving Fiona and Jake flabbergasted and speechless.

“Oh my god,” Ella muttered, chewing at her thumbnail for the first time in what felt like forever. “Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. I was gonna try to be nice if he came, because...at least he showed up, right? Fuck. Oh my god. Jess. Oh my god.”

“It’s okay, Daria. Just try to relax,” Jess breathed, steering her towards the diner as she instantly began melting down.

“I can’t relax, Jess! Don’t fucking tell me to relax! Did you hear that?! Did you hear what I just said?!” she muttered hastily. “Fuck me! Fuck! Every time I see him, my fucking mouth-”

“Hey, language!” Luke scolded her as they entered the diner, the bell jingling jovially above the door. There were only a few customers scattered around, the mid-afternoon lull.

“God, Luke, I thought age was supposed to negatively affect your hearing!” Ella snapped as Jess directed her to a stool and sat her down, hopping up on the seat next to her.

“Joe Pesci here is having a bad day,” Jess explained shortly as Luke shot Ella a bewildered stare.

“What happened?” Luke asked, arching a brow.

Ella heaved a great sigh and placed her head in her hands, elbows on the counter. “Bigmouth has struck again. And apparently she has even less of a filter now than she did in high school!”

“Right,” Luke said, increasingly confused.

Running a hand up and down over Ella’s back as she continued fuming, Jess gave Luke a dejected glance. “Green tea?”

A shadow of realization passed over Luke’s face. “Comin’ right up.”

[artistic-writer]

The Paradox of Light :: CS AU : Rated E :: Part 1

Title: The Paradox of Light by @artistic-writer​ Summary: Imagine having one person, one constant, one love in your life that holds your head when you go under the surface. They will be there forever, holding your hand through everything life can throw at the pair of you, but what happens when a crack forms? What happens when it grows into something neither of you can control? What happens when the one person who was there to guide you becomes an obstacle and rather than hold you up, they pull you down? How do you find your way out of the darkness without your light? Rating: E Warnings: Angst, hurt/comfort, alcoholism/alcohol abuse, sexual addiction, domestic violence, fighting, choking, erotic asphyxiation (use in a non-informed manner), depression, death of Liam Jones, panic attacks, PTSD, attempted rape/non-con/dub-con, stab wounds, bar fights, rehab/AA meetings

- but there is a happy ending to this story, i promise.

Author’s Note: I missed this ficversary because of everything that is going on in the world right now, but its been in the plan to re-release it as a multichapter for some time.  It’s A LOT otherwise and whilst I initially always intended this to be a one shot, because I wrote it in one go, its not logical to expect people to stop and read so many words in one go.  The lovely fanart by @itsfabianadocarmo​ features in all chapters, so go show her some love!

PLEASE HEED THE WARNINGS!!  This fic has a lot of them for a reason.  If you want to ask about any, please don’t be afraid to message me.

Part One [ below the cut ]

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At first they had hated each other, with Emma setting her sights on the older Jones brother. Killian was nothing more to her than a thorn in her side. Cocky, arrogant and with a boyish smile that she wished she could slap right off his face, he was not for her. No, Emma Swan wanted Liam Jones, the stronger, more level headed of the two, but with a decade between them, by the time Emma had worked up the courage to tell him how she felt, Liam was announcing his marriage.

When Liam moved from their sleepy little hometown, leaving Emma’s teenage heart in pieces and Killian to continue his roguish antics unchecked, was when Emma began to notice him. He had a certain appeal. He had a car, would take her anywhere at the drop of a hat and puberty had been kind to him, with unblemished skin and a dashingly handsome growth that sprouted from his chin. The more Emma looked at him the more she felt that the bravado and confidence he exuded was more for just show. In private, when it was just the two of them, Killian was different.

One day in high school, they had decided to skip their respective classes and hang out at the edge of the school field. Killian was kind, less presumptuous and respectful when it was just the two of them and Emma liked it. He gave her his jacket when she was cold and his smell made her feel safe, like she was home, which considering she was adopted, was huge. Even the Nolans, her adoptive family, couldn’t completely fill the hole in her heart left by being abandoned, but somehow Killian could.

Killian’s senior prom was the turning point for her. He was a few years older than Emma and had promised to take her to both his and hers. He insisted because if nothing else, attending his with her would be a dry run for her own. Killian taught her to dance that night, holding her close, splayed hand pressed delicately to her lower back, the tips of his pointed ears turning red when Emma had pressed her body further into his, her early teenage yearning for Liam Jones long since gone.

“There’s only one rule. Pick a partner who knows what he is doing.”

Emma had often thought about his words, long after her prom and into her college years, but whilst she had attended a local one, Killian had followed in his brother's footsteps and joined the Army. They never lost touch, sending letters to each other that mentioned everything and anything they could talk about. It was no substitution for the lilt of his accented voice, or the smile on his face that never failed to pick up her mood, but it was all she could get between his visits home.

When he was on leave, the first place he always went was her house. It was familiar to have him near her again, laughing and joking as they did silly things like play cards and swim in the lake. Emma knew he never wanted to talk about what he did in the line of duty, she could only imagine, so she never pressed him and knew that if he ever wanted to, he would tell her. Instead they spent their time poking fun at each other, acting more like a couple than most couples they knew, but with an annoyingly platonic and chaste intimacy that left Emma pining each time he deployed and left her with a seared cheek from his kiss.

But he was a gentleman, and she expected nothing less from him.

Five years went by between Killian joining the military and the day he came home. He was a ranger, the most elite sniper in his class, able to hit a target from over two thousand yards away, but his career had ended when he had been injured in the line of duty and subsequently medically discharged. Shrapnel now littered his torso, had embedded itself in his shoulder joint and had ripped through the muscles of his left upper arm like it was paper. A sniper with the inability to fire a weapon was useless, and rather than push paper for the rest of his life, Killian had come home carrying more than just physical scars and it was the wake up call Emma needed.

She had been beside herself to learn of his injuries. Her heart had skipped a beat in her chest and her blood had run cold through her entire body when she had been informed by Liam via an early morning phone call.

“He’s okay, he just wanted you to know that.”

That was the exact moment Emma Swan vowed to share her feelings that she had kept locked behind closed doors for so long. She loved him and needed to tell him lest she risk losing him with him never knowing how she felt.

The day he arrived home, waiting for him on the military airstrip in her senior prom dress was Emma, hair blowing in the warm breeze that whipped across the tarmac. There was a brief silence between them and people stared at her attire, but Emma did not care. She had finally realised what she had been fighting for so many years. Killian Jones, her best friend and confidant, was the man she loved and wanted to spend the rest of her life with. So she had told him.

“I’ve been thinking…”

“In your prom dress?”

“Shut up and listen.”

“Okay, love.”

“I love you, Killian. I’ve loved you since I was sixteen and you held me at your prom. ‘Pick a partner who knows what he’s doing’ you told me…”

“Aye, Swan, I did…”

“Then I hope to God you know what you are doing because I am petrified.”

“I’m sure we can work it out.”

“Together?”

“Together.”

Eight years later and they shared everything. The transition back into civilian life had been hard on Killian, but Emma was always there for him. She watched him cry, watched him scream and watched him fight with the demons inside of his head on a daily basis. It never went away, but it got easier, and on more than one occasion Killian had told Emma that she was his saviour. Only she knew how to help him, calm the beast and soothe his soul, but Killian’s descent into darkness had only just begun.

The day Killian’s phone rang and a police officer informed him of his brother’s demise was the day that would haunt Emma forever. Liam had been killed in a car accident on his way to visit them, the car having rolled along the highway so many times they had struggled to free his body. Emma would never forget the blood curdling sound Killian made as he screamed Liam’s name, collapsed to the floor and curled into the childlike ball of sobs. She let him cry, she let him shout and she let him smash every door in the house in his rage, and then after everything, she let him drink.

Killian Jones had lost count of the bottles he had seen the bottom of since the death of his brother. Each rum laden glass cask gradually weighed less as it emptied but the sorrow that felt like it was crushing him only got heavier. Liam had died quickly, in a car accident with no clear person to blame, and it had changed Killian forever. Whatever demons he carried from active service were amplified, the voices in his head taunting and eating away at his resolve.

There were no answers to his pleas to God at the bottom of the bottles, and even worse, there was no absolution.

  Six months ago

It had been only a short time since Liam’s death, but Killian had spent every second he wasn’t at work at the local bar. He always shot Emma a text letting her know where he was for which she was thankful. His drinking was starting to spiral and it had become pretty apparent that he was drinking more and more to try and quell the voices in his brain. It was wrong, Emma knew that, but it calmed him and helped him sleep, and despite her brain telling her it was wrong to enable him, her heart ached each time he sobbed himself into a slumber, so she let him drink to forget.

Or at least she thought she was. There had been a shift in his behaviour recently and whilst Emma figured he was starting to sober up, clear the niggles in his brain and finally begin to accept his loss, Killian was in fact becoming a functioning alcoholic. His breath reeked of booze each time he returned home, sometimes with bloody knuckles and sometimes with a glassy stare, but each time he was the same. Drunk, and the more he needed to drink to forget, the more frustrated he was becoming with being without his brother.

That night he came home, stumbling through the door and groggily mumbling to himself as he toed off his shoes at the door, Emma simply greeted him as usual without judgement. She was hurting as well. Liam had been her friend too, but as much as she was hurting, she could never compare to how hard Killian had fallen into the darkness of sorrow.

“How was work?” Emma asked, the question becoming somewhat of a code between them. It was something she had devised in order to gauge his level of inebriation and also work out how bad his mentality had been compromised during the day. She shifted her weight, resting a hand to the kitchen island as she watched him struggle with the zip of his jacket.

“It was unusually dull,” Killian slurred sarcastically, his balance suddenly compromised as he tried to pull his arms free from the confines of his sleeves. He stepped sideways, foot landing heavily on the hardwood floor with a thud as he tried to keep himself upright. Finally freeing his arms he staggered backwards into the lounge and sank down onto the arm of the couch with a sigh when the back of his thighs hit the solid mass.

“And your colleagues?” Emma prodded, moving to stand before him. The voices in his head were something he dealt with every day, sometimes successfully blocking them out, but it seemed the demon of drink always gave them free reign to torment him before he had consumed enough to silence them.

Killian screwed up his features, the rosy tint in his cheeks from too much rum hidden under a swipe of his hands as he covered his face with a wavering nod. “Chatty,” he whispered into his palms, inhaling deeply and letting his body hunch over as tears sprang from his eyelids.

“Hey,” Emma soothed, stepping between his parted thighs and pulling his hands from his face. His face was warm beneath her hands as she cupped his head, tilting his head back so he was looking up at her. “I’m here,” she told him softly, searching the clouded grey hues of his eyes with her own. “I’m here.”

Killian couldn’t stop the sound he made escaping his throat as he cried, the wail cutting straight through Emma’s chest and splitting her heart in two. He buried his face in the softness of her sweater, muffling his cries against her body and wrapping his arms around her, desperate to hold onto anything. “Don’t go,” he sobbed. “I need you.”

“I’m here,” Emma repeated, her voice watery from the lump that had begun to sting the back of her throat. “I need you too,” she whimpered, pinching her eyes closed just enough to let a single tear roll from her eyelid and scorch a line down her face. It fell from her chin and down the back of Killian’s shirt, his cries subsiding as he pulled his head back to look up at her.

It had taken weeks for her own grief to manifest enough that she had cried for her friend. Emma wasn’t sure where rock bottom actually was, but she was pretty sure they were both there at this exact moment in time, the silence between them echoing with the words neither of them needed to say. Killian had cried a literal river for his brother, but this had been the first time Emma had shed a single tear, and it had somehow ignited the need within both of them to feel again.

“Emma…” He gulped after her name, his voice raspy and gritty, the emotion in his words all he needed to tell her exactly what he needed as he rested his hands to her hips and gently pushed himself to his feet.

“Killian…” Emma sighed his name, looking up at him through her eyelashes with a prickle of heat that surged over the skin of her neck and through her entire body.

“I want…” he began nervously, unable to stop the way his gaze lingered over her body and his hands toyed with the hem of her sweater. His fingertips barely brushed the surface of her exposed skin but Emma gasped audibly, her eyes fluttering closed and her hand grasping the fabric of his shirt between shaking fingers.

“I know,” Emma said softly, her tongue darting out to moisten her lips as she watched her hand against his chest, the quickening heartbeat beneath her fingertips matching the pounding in her ears. Emma lifted her gaze, blinking away more tears. “I want to feel too.”

The first thing they both felt again was softness of lips slightly salty from tears, mouths sliding against each other haphazardly and clothes being discarded with abandon. There were no words, only the soft pants and heavy breathing that accompanied their ascent to the bedroom, a trail of clothes in their wake. It was like a bright light in both of their lives, neither having made love since Liam’s death, and they savoured every second.

Even drunk, Killian knew every inch of her body, every curve, dip and patch of silky skin committed to his memory. And he knew exactly how to make Emma feel, how to excite every cell in her body the way she needed in that exact moment. Killian never stopped touching her, taking his time to make sure that every hair on Emma’s body was standing to attention for him before he dipped his head between her thighs and finally gave her what she needed.

Emma’s cries were like music to his ears and Killian lapped at her essence like he was hearing her moans for the first time. They urged him on, his own need growing hard between his legs with every gasp she emitted from her slightly parted lips. He didn’t open his eyes, he didn’t need to, because the sounds Emma made as she writhed beneath his assault told him everything he needed to know.

The first time she came, her body stiffening as he relentlessly flicked his tongue over her clit, Killian felt something other than his own arousal surge through him. It was like a drug, a calm washing over his woes and guiding him from the depths of pain. He needed more and when Emma’s cries subsided he surged upwards and impaled her in a single thrust of his hips, watching the way her features twisted in pleasure and loving the feeling of being whole.

“I love you,” he whispered, stilling inside of her and stroking the side of her flushed face with his fingertips.

Emma could barely focus, her eyelids rolling open and fresh tears stinging her eyes once more. She blinked them away and Killian wiped them from existence with a gentle swipe of his thumb over her cheek. “I love you,” he repeated, holding her gaze as he angled his hips a little and sank into her further. Emma’s back arched off of the bed, her body yearning to feel more of the light that only Killian could shine on her.

“Oh God, I love you so much,” she gasped huskily, finally releasing the breath she had been holding and almost losing herself once more with the barest of movements. When Killian began to move and her walls fluttered around him, Emma groaned, more symphonic tones that made him want even more than before.

Killian’s hand found hers, their fingers lacing together and their palms pressing together so firmly that Emma almost couldn’t feel her fingertips anymore. He lifted their joined digits above Emma’s head, increasing his pace as he pressed the back of her hand into the bed, his grip like a vice, tethering him to her and both of them to reality.

Killian’s other hand found Emma’s hip and his fingernails dug into her skin, a sensation she didn’t find unpleasant because like the burning between her thighs and the increasing pressure in her stomach, it made her feel, and that was all she wanted. She wanted the light once more, to bathe in its glow as she lost herself and fell from grace at the hand of the man she loved, the swivel of his hips and the drag of his length along her inner walls delicious and torture at the same time.

Emma was so close it was almost painful, the room filled with the stench of sex and alcohol fading away as the pin pricks of white began to flicker behind her eyelids. She felt Killian’s forehead rest against hers and the warmth of his rum laced breath invade her nostrils as his own body shuddered, his knuckles turned white with his grip and he whimpered her name like a prayer.

“I’m here,” Emma panted hoarsely, her hand finding the side of his face and her lips ghosting over his.

It was enough to send them both into oblivion, their bodies basking in the rays of euphoria and numbing the sting of pain they both felt in the very depths of their hearts. They were lost in each other, swaying in an ocean of pleasure that they would quite happily have drowned in should the waves become tumultuous, but they didn’t, instead gently lapping at the edge of their subconscious, chasing away the agony.

For now.