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jimlingss · 4 years ago

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O SHOOT REQUESTS !!! ill take my chances and ask for a zombie apocalypse or pirate au ft. hoseok 👀 i couldnt choose between the two aus and im hoseok biased but i can honestly see any member so do as who u see fit. i will not let my pairing/au choice limit the authors talent 😤 and i dont doubt anything from you will satisfy. and pshhh,, where are my manners. please and thank u! love u 💛

↳ Crocodile Tears

1.8k || 98% Fluff, 2% Angst || Jung Hoseok || Pirate!AU

“Look what I nabbed, Cap’n.”

Gunner Taehyung’s grinning with all teeth, a golden chain wrapped around his fingers that’s so shiny it’s blinding with the sunlight. Hoseok’s intrigued and flips the locket in his hand. It’s heavy with a wild rose engraved on the front and once he pops it open, there’s a faded painted portrait of a young woman inside.

“It’s a booty, eh? Caught if off milady right over ‘ere.”

Hoseok hums and narrows his eyes on the wrench tied in rope sitting amongst the captives. Your face is dirtied, hair drawn in a bun at your crown but with many strands fallen around your face. Your gown rat’s coloured, dull gray. You are entirely unremarkable. Like any other peasant.

But it’s not often captives have something of value on them.

“Bring her to my cabin.”

“Aye, aye.”

The ship sets sail again. Taehyung keeps the captives quiet with the threat of throwing them overboard while the cabin boy Jungkook swabs the poop deck. Helmsman Seokjin mans the helm with navigator Namjoon by his side. The ship’s heading to dock at Port Galigeo to get a pretty penny for all the loot and treasures they’ve gotten after four months’ voyage.

Once steep waters are reached and everything’s been taken care of, Hoseok resumes to his cabin. There, he finds you, sitting in the corner on the floorboards with tears in your eyes. You gasp as he enters and shuts the door.

“Please! Spare me!” you beg sorrowfully. “Let me go!”

“Why should I?” Hoseok tosses his hat onto his table and his coat to his rickety chair. You look so frightful, even when he’s still in his drawers and shirt, held together by the red sash.

He fiddles with the many golden rings across his fingers, a habit since he began his adventures, and he comes over to you. Hoseok’s boots are heavy against the floorboards, and he crouches down to meet your trembling eyes.

“I-I am just a peasant,” you sob. “I have nothing to give to you! My father is merely a farmer.”

“Oh? Then what be this here?” Hoseok dangles the priceless locket in front of you as the corner of his lip curls. It catches the light from the tiny window of the cabin and the gold gleams against your eyes, practically sparkling like a jewel.

Your eyes flicker from it to him, hiccuping and frame quivering like a damn leaf. “It’s my grandmother’s. She left it for me before she passed.”

Hoseok hums a low note. “An’ if this be your grandmother’s, how she pay for such a treasure? Unless she been a thief.”

Your downcast head shakes. “I don’t know, I don’t know.”

He pops the locket open before taking a good look at it. “This here be a portrait of you, isn’t it? You look different. Lavish. Like a noble’s daughter.”

“T-That isn’t me.”

“Then who?”

“I don’t know.”

There’s something rather pretty in the way tears drip down your cheeks, so soft and gentle like jewels of their own right. But Hoseok has seen many women, children and men cry. It’s nothing astonishing.

Hoseok smirks, a rush of air leaving his nose. “I’ve been cap’n of this ship for nearly a decade, dearest. I’ve held treasures you could only dream of, been in battles that nearly lost my leg, sailed ‘cross the seven seas with me mates. I know when a wrench lies.”

His eyes are narrowed in on yours. And Hoseok comes closer, hand lifting to grab a hold of your chin. But before he can, before he can blink or breathe — suddenly, you brandish a piece of glass against his exposed neck.

The ropes around you clatter to the ground. Hoseok feels the sharp edge of the glass digging into his skin, a moment away from nicking him and drawing blood. But more notably, your eyes are aflame. Your expression is dark and you’re scowling at him.

Gone is the fragile little girl weeping for mercy.

“Don’t come closer,” you warn in a low voice without a single tremble.

He leans back, but his gaze stays on yours. “You reckon you could kill me?”

“I wouldn’t hesitate.”

Hoseok’s mouth curls, grin stretching into his cheek. His interest is piqued. He knew there was more to you beneath the surface, and he’s happy you haven’t disappointed.

His hand latches onto your wrist to force your hand away. It's a battle of strength. One that he ultimately wins as the piece of glass goes clattering on the ground out of your reach. He sees it’s part of a broken bottle. But Hoseok’s much too put off guard and when your leg kicks out at him, he’s smacked square in the chin.

He grips it as he lands on his ass, sharply exhaling. But then he bursts into chuckles.

“You got some mean spirit in you, sweetheart.”

Unfortunately for you, Hoseok has far too much experience in combat and capture. Even if you try to kick, strike and even bite him, it’s not too difficult to get you tied into ropes again. Except this time, he makes sure to use his special knots and get you so wound up, no sharp edge could free you.

“Let me go, bastard!”

“Settle down. You’re only gettin’ yourself riled.” Hoseok crouches in front of you again and comes to wipe away the stray tear on your cheek with the pad of his thumb. You angrily scowl at him, chest rising and falling. Crying won’t get you far now, not when he knows they’re just crocodile tears. “Don’t get yourself worried about someone hurtin’ you. Everyone on this ship swears by our code, me included.”

You scoff. “As if I’d trust a pirate.”

Hoseok smirks. “If I wanted to hurt you, I would’ve done so already. It isn’t pleasin’ for me to force a girl like yourself either. Not when I have plenty o’ gold to play with a wrench at the dock. Now I suggest you behave or my Quartermaster’ll throw you overboard.”

“Then do it!” you shout at him with your entire body, only to flop over to the floorboards.

He grips the knob of the door and looks over his shoulder. “No. You’re too much of a treasure, sweetheart.”

The sun is falling over the horizon when Namjoon approaches. “Everything go well with the girl?”

Hoseok hums and turns with a glint in his eye. “Tell all hands to keep her separate.”

Port Galigeo is reached within two days time. The waters are calm without storms and the stars are clear at night. The sailing is smooth and so the docks are reached faster than ever before.

The men aboard are eager to sell the loot, to spend a few days ashore, spend nights at the brothel and replenish the rum. As follows, their steps are quick and they move the crates of jewels and tools to the harbour. Seokjin also takes care of the captives, leading them in a straight line off the gangplank to be sold.

“Cap’n! What ‘bout the beauty ‘ere.” Taehyung points to you.

Hoseok meets your eyes and you’re seething, glaring back at him. The corner of his mouth curls in amusement.

“Leave her. Tell the lad to watch over her till we return.” He points to Jungkook and Taehyung nods with an ‘aye, aye’.

Most of his crewmen take care of business, getting as much gold for the loot as possible. But Hoseok fiddles with your pendant in hand and heads to a jeweler. Said jeweler is an old man who quivers upon seeing him, Namjoon and Seokjin in his shop. He hides behind his table and cries, “Please! Spare me! Take what you must!”

Hoseok sighs. He doesn’t know why everyone thinks so badly of him. Maybe because he’s a pirate and he and his crew have pillaged countless. That’s fair, he supposes.

“Stop yer quivering,” Seokjin spews out, leaning against his table. “We need you to look at somethin’. Hurry before I steal your silver!”

Hoseok lifts your golden locket, letting it dangle from his hand.

The old man eventually slinks out when he realizes they won’t do anything, and he takes out his magnifying glass. He motions for him to bring it forward and Hoseok does. The old man hums, studying the locket before flipping it over in his hand. His thumb brushes against the wild rose engraving.

“Where did you get this from?” he asks.

“Don’t matter,” Namjoon says curtly.

Hoseok studies the man’s face and leans closer. “What is it?”

“It is a very valuable locket. I happen to recognize this symbol as well. It is the emblem of the Crochetta Kingdom.” He pops the locket open to the portrait of the young woman and looks up at Hoseok, clearing his throat. “I believe this locket belongs to the youngest princess of that kingdom. The runaway.”

Hoseok’s brow cocks.

The three of them leave in a hurry.

Seokjin’s eyes are glazed as his mouth starts to spew how Lady Luck is truly on their side, how they’ll be able to get their hands on a high ransom or sell you for countless riches. Namjoon is perplexed at how a princess like you managed to get here when Crochetta was countries away.

But Hoseok remains quiet. He doesn’t plan to trade you. He doesn’t ask questions.

He is entirely and wholly intrigued. Like never before.

“Blimey, the ship!” There’s a shout at the docks and Hoseok is torn from his thoughts. Taehyung has his hands in the air, cursing aloud. And Hoseok’s eyes trail from him to his ship that’s off the dock and disappearing over the horizon. “It’s sailing away!”

Seokjin is aghast. “How?!”

“Who’s still on?!” Hoseok shouts, looking around the dock to all his shocked men and their mouths drawn open big enough to catch flies.

“That girl,” Namjoon says, looking at the captain.

Hoseok tied you tightly, he made sure of it. Unless you freed yourself again. But it’s not possible that you lifted the anchor.

No. You must’ve cut the rope.

“Where’s Jungkook?”

At the same time, there’s a high-pitched shriek in the distance. All of the men are held to their spots on the docks as they watch a tiny figure in the horizon get pushed off the ship’s deck and then plopped into the waters.

There’s a loud splash.

You stole the ship.

Hoseok is quiet when his men turn to him. They don’t dare utter a single word, far too afraid their captain is boiling with anger. But what frightens them far more is when Hoseok suddenly bursts out into chortling laughter.

He laughs and grins as he watches his ship sail into the distance.

You were truly a treasure hard to find. He knew it when he saw you.

And now, he’ll just have to catch you again.

#bts fanfic #bts scenario #hoseok fanfic #hoseok fluff #hoseok reader insert #hoseok scenario #bts reader insert #bts drabble #bangtans-peaceful-piegon #Jimlings #let's goooo Hoseok as a hot sexy pirateee!!!

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gonbe-nyanya · 4 years ago

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How to Actually Play Magic: The Gathering

Magic: The Gathering (MTG, or just Magic) is the first and one of the most popular trading card games in the world. Described as the chess of card games, you can go as complex as you want (even make a computer) or have as much fun as you want, diving into the multitudes of worlds, creatures, and characters to express yourself.

But first you need to know how to play.

Lots of guides tend to be overly simplistic, so here I’ll try to go really in-depth in the rules while still maintaining an introductory tone. I will also try to provide as many pictures of relevant cards as possible to expose you to the vast array of effects cards may have, and how they interact with what I’m currently discussing.

1. The Colors of Magic

The most defining part of Magic are the five different colors. Each has its own flavor, playstyle, advantages, and disadvantages. You can combine different colors in your deck to have access to interesting combos and to balance out your deck’s weaknesses. Different color combinations also have their own specific flavor, often embodied by groups such as the guilds of Ravnica.

White: This is the color of unity, healing, and order. Cards in this color will often gain you life, protect your creatures from damage, tax or outright prevent your opponents from doing tricky things, and make armies of small creatures that together make mighty fighting forces. It is also associated with artifacts, enchantments, and exiling.

By the way, I will be defining Magic terms as they come up, like so.

Token: A representation of a creature, artifact, or something else. You can use it like a card while it exists, but it will vanish when it leaves the battlefield. (the rest of these terms will come up soon.)

Exile: Originally called “removed from the game”, exile is a zone that is inaccessible to most cards. It makes sure your opponents’ creatures go away forever. Sometimes, creatures go to exile and come right back to get extra enter-the-battlefield effects, known as blinking.

If you see something that isn’t immediately defined, just keep it in mind. Chances are I’ll cover it in a later chapter.

Blue: This color is related to knowledge, water, and the cold. You’ll get to draw lots of cards, but your creatures will be lacking. Instead, you will have access to powerful spells that bounce, freeze, or steal your opponents’ creatures and even give you extra turns. Quelch your opponents’ attempts with counterspells. It also has affinity for artifacts.

Black: This color represents death, disease, and ambition. Full of evil kill and discard spells, you will have access to your own army of zombies, vampires, and demons. You will also be able to do powerful things, but often at the cost of cards, creatures, or even your own health. In the words of Dark Confidant, “Greatness, at any cost.”

Red: This is the color of passion, fire, and explosive power. Many of the direct damage spells, including the iconic Lightning Bolt, are Red, as well as aggressive, fast creatures and multiple combats. You will have an extreme upper hand in your first few turns, but will quickly run out of gas if you don’t use another color to keep up on card draw. Red also brings with it mighty dragons and world-morphing chaotic effects.

Green: The color of nature, Green is similar to white in its abilities to heal, create tokens, and destroy artifacts and enchantments. However, Green has a wild side and is full of giant beasts, swarms of bugs, and rapid evolutions. It also brings out lands quickly and makes tons of mana.

2. Dissecting a Card

Sidisi is a popular character that hales from the plane of Tarkir. She’ll be helping us as a prime example of what a card looks like. There’s a lot to take in, but we’ll start from the top and work our way down.

First is the border (yes, from the very top!). It seems silly, but there are actually a few different borders that mean different things. A vast majority of cards have the regular black border. You may also see cards with white borders - these tend to be older cards, but they’re just as good as the black bordered ones. Silver borders come from the Un-sets, a series of joke sets full of wacky mechanics and inside jokes. None of these cards are tournament legal, but you’re free to have fun with them with your friends. Gold-bordered cards will also have a different back, and were printed as a part of tournament-winning decks back in the day. These are not tournament legal, but since they are often cheaper than their “real card” counterparts, people will use them in casual decks.

Next is the name. “Sidisi, Brood Tyrant” is the full, English name of this card. Each deck can only have up to 4 copies of any single card (there are very important exceptions to this I will cover in the next chapter). There are also a few cards which specifically reference others by name.

To the right of that is the mana cost. In this case, we need to use one black mana, one green mana, one blue mana (each represented by their respective symbol) and one mana which can be of any color, or even colorless, represented by the 1 in the circle. We’ll find out how to get mana in the next chapter as well. As a side note, many cards will consider the mana value (formerly, converted mana cost), which is just the total cost of the card as a number. For Sidisi, it’s four.

Beneath that is the art.

Arguably the most important part of any card, Magic’s art is what really sets it apart from other games. People fall in love with specific cards for their dramatic poses, mighty beings, and stunning vistas. The art brings character to every card, and ties flavor and function beautifully. This is the best way to express yourself, and find what you really like about Magic.

Next is a thin bar called the typeline. This will tell you first what type of card it is - either a land, creature, artifact, enchantment, planeswalker, instant, sorcery, or tribal (or some combination!), which dictate how you use the card, and what other cards interact with it. Card types can be divided into permanent, which go on the battlefield once played, and nonpermanent, which you play for a single effect and immediately go to your graveyard. There are also some supertypes. Sidisi herself is Legendary, meaning she represents a specific character from Magic lore. This also means you can only have a single copy of her on the battlefield at any one moment; if you somehow get another, you’ll have to sacrifice one. Basic is another important supertype we’ll cover soon.

On the other side of the hyphen is the subtype - this is almost exclusively used for creatures to tell you what tribes they belong to. Sidisi herself is a Naga and a Shaman, and will thus interact with cards that care about that (these are often called tribal effects; for example, “Elves you control get +1/+1″). From Trilobites to Trolls, the creatures of magic are a diverse crowd.

Finally comes the set symbol, that strange orange shield thingy to the right. This tells you two things: the set the card comes from, and the rarity. This specific symbol represents the set Khans of Tarkir, so booster packs from that set may contain Sidisi. Rarity comes in 5 different colors.

Black: Common (Simple, often weak)

Silver: Uncommon (May have cool mechanics)

Gold: Rare (More powerful and complex)

Orange: Mythic Rare (The most powerful and complex)

Purple: Special (This is only used in situations such as Time Spiral, where they reprinted cards in the old border)

The rarity often (but not necessarily) corresponds to power level. It’s better to think of it as a ranking of design complexity. Newer Rares and Mythics will also have that shiny, elliptical sticker near the bottom, which simply guarantees the authenticity of the card.

The bottom half of the card is dominated by the text box. This will tell you the effects and abilities of the card. Sidisi has two abilities: one that triggers whenever she enters the battlefield or attacks, and one that triggers whenever a creature card is put into the graveyard from your library (on modern cards, this is called milling). We will go over abilities later.

Notice how Sidisi aligns with her colors. As a Naga, she is Green. Her zombie tokens are characteristic of Black, and tokens are generally Green as well. Milling is a Blue ability, and putting creatures in the graveyard to bring back to life is definitely Black.

The text box is also home to flavor text, the italicized text beneath the rules. This will often be a little blurb or quote relating to the flavor of the card. Consider it an extension of the art.

Creatures will also have that rectangle to the bottom right, called the Power and Toughness. The first number is the power (how hard it punches) and the second is the toughness (how hard of a punch it can take). This is relevant for combat and we will cover it extensively later.

Finally come all those funny symbols at the very bottom. This will include the collector’s number (199/269), the set (KTK = Khans of Tarkir), the artist (Karl Kopinski) and the copyright.

3. Lands

Lands are by far the most important component of your deck. They are what generate the mana you need to cast your spells, and dictate the colors of spells you can play.

You can play one land per turn - just plop it from your hand onto the battlefield. They have no mana cost, and thus the top right is blank.

The Basic land is the prime exception to the four-card limit, as you can have as many as you want in your deck. The Basic supertype also interacts with several cards, such as ones which let you get more from your deck onto the battlefield.

The 6 basic lands are Plains (white), Island (blue), Swamp (black), Mountain (red), Forest (green), and Wastes (colorless, only used in decks such as Eldrazi Tron, and are often not included).

This cycle comes from Lorwyn, a set based in Gaelic mythology.

All Basic lands come with the implied rules text that they can tap to create one mana of their respective color, and as such will often have the cinematic mana symbol instead.

Tap: A common cost on a permanent to activate an ability. Turn the card sideways to tap it. It will stay tapped until your next turn, when it will untap during your untap phase (more on that later). A tapped card can’t be tapped again, and a tapped creature can’t block.

Some lands, especially those that can make different colors, will enter the battlefield tapped, so you’ll have to wait an extra turn to use them. Other lands might only create colorless mana (represented by a number on older cards and a diamond on newer cards), so they’re less useful for casting spells, but will have interesting abilities, such as:

This Mutavault can turn into a creature for just 1 mana, which you can use to attack and block with. (Pop quiz: see if you can recognize each part of the card!) There are dozens more examples that do everything from draw you cards to destroy your opponents’ pesky lands.

But what exactly does it mean to create a mana? Well, really, it gets added to your mana pool, as you may have noticed on the Mutavault. This is an arbitrary place where all your mana goes so that you can spend it. This isn’t often relevant, because you’ll mostly tap your lands while casting spells and the mana will immediately be used, but there are a few scenarios where it might be useful. For example, someone targets your land to destroy it because they don’t want you to have the mana open to kill something they’ll play next. Just tap your land to keep a mana “floating”. However, all the mana in your pool will automatically drain out each time you change phases (more on those later).

Tapping lands for mana is an ability, but since it’s a mana ability, it won’t use the stack, so you can use them just about whenever. More on the stack later as well.

Most decks will be around one-third lands, with more or less depending on how low the average cost of cards you have are. The less colors you run, the less cards you have at your disposal, but the more flexible your mana base can be - more colors often use lands that enter tapped and are inconsistent at drawing the colors they need.

Have fun experimenting with your mana base, especially in casual formats. In more competitive formats, lands are actually the most expensive cards! The top lands are called the shocklands, fetchlands, and original dual lands - the last of which are several hundred dollars each.

4. Permanents

Besides lands, just about every other card you play is considered a spell when you cast it (you’ll see this on cards such as Counterspell). However, for the sake of clarity, I’ll be using “Permanent” to refer to anything that goes directly on the battlefield once it resolves and “Spell” to refer to single-use cards.

Of the card types mentioned above, permanents include lands (which we just covered), creatures, artifacts, enchantments, and the mighty planeswalkers. I’ll include a visual example of each as we go.

Creatures are your basic way of winning the game. They can attack your opponent to take down their life total, but might also have interesting abilities that make them more valuable as repeatable spells than combatants.

Incubation druid is a great example of both: she starts off as an additional land, giving you more mana quicker to play your other cards. With 0 power, she’s useless as an attacker. However, her Adapt ability lets her grow into a formidable 3/5, so you can attack and block with her much more effectively later in the game. Notice the curved arrow symbol that represents tapping.

+1/+1 Counter: This is a permanent buff to your creature, giving it an additional power and toughness each. Counters in general can come in many forms: -1/-1 counters are self-explanatory, but ability counters such as a Flying counter give your creature a new keyword. Other counters, such as Lore and Filibuster, keep track of certain things for you. Always bring a few dice with you to every game, as you’re sure to want to track some sort of counter.

Creatures enter the battlefield with summoning sickness, which means they can’t attack or use any ability that requires them to tap until your next turn. Creatures also get summoning sick when they change control. A creature with Haste, a keyword ability, lets you ignore this, and is often found on red creatures.

Artifacts, lore wise, are artificial, sterile creations of wizardry, and as such, almost never correspond to a color. They may imitate the effects of a certain color, but to prevent other colors from having easy access to it, they will often be overcosted. A common type of artifact is colloquially known as the mana rock, as it generates mana. There are many cards that interact and enhance artifacts.

Hedron Archive is a typical mana rock, costing four mana of any color and boosting your mana generation ability by two. Later in the game, if you already have more than enough lands, you can cash it in for two mana to draw some more cards. Notice the distinct metallic border.

Artifacts often combine with Creatures to form Artifact Creatures, or less commonly with Lands to create Artifact Lands.

Artifacts can also come on the form of Equipment, which will give an effect when equipped to a creature. This often comes in the form of a buff to its power and toughness, but can also include adding keywords and other cool abilities. You’ll need to equip it by paying a cost, and can pass equipment around between any of your creatures. This can result in some funny mental images, such as a cat wearing a suit of armor and wielding three swords!

Enchantments are similar to artifacts in that they sit on the battlefield and have an effect, but they will have color. Also, Green and White excel at “cleansing” both by destroying them, but Red is only good at blowing up artifacts - after all, an ogre with a mace can smash a rock, but not a mystical spell.

Some enchantments have the subtype Aura. This means you cast them targeting a specific permanent, and they will enter the battlefield attached to that permanent like a piece of Equipment. These, however, can’t be moved around, and will fall off and go to the graveyard if the thing they enchant ever leaves the battlefield. Auras will often buff creatures, but can also subdue permanents or boost a land’s mana production.

Planeswalkers are the newest and arguably the most powerful of the permanents. They represent the primary characters of MTG lore, beings who have incredible magical prowess and can teleport from plane to plane. They are (as of yet) all legendary, and thus you can only have one of each at a time on the battlefield.

They look pretty weird, don’t they? Instead of a power and toughness, they have a loyalty in the bottom right. Each planeswalker will enter the battlefield with that many loyalty counters on it. You can activate one of its abilities on each of your turns by adding or subtracting the indicated loyalty. Once a planeswalker is at zero, it dies and goes to the graveyard (or rather, gets fed up with your mishandling and teleports away, as per loyalty flavor). Planeswalkers can also be killed by spells that specifically target them, when they’re dealt damage, or when they’re attacked by creatures. Their last ability is often incredibly powerful, and is called an “ultimate”. Newer planeswalkers sometimes also have static abilities.

Planeswalkers are not creatures, and can’t attack or block. That being said, there are some planeswalkers that can turn into creatures.

Permanents are very useful, as they stick around and provide value turn after turn. Many strategies revolve around certain tribes, or using artifacts. Creatures are the main way to get damage through to your opponent to win the game. And planeswalkers have powerful abilities, requiring an answer from your opponent to stay in the game.

5. Spells

As stated above, all nonland cards are technically spells when cast, but here we will talk specifically about Instants and Sorceries. We will also define timing, as instant- and sorcery- speed is something we will discuss often when looking at casting spells, activating abilities, and using the stack.

Sorceries are your basic single-use card. Pay their cost, they’ll resolve, and you’ll get their effect once before they go to the graveyard.

Something I haven’t brought up yet is when you can play cards. We’ll go over the turn structure more in depth, but for now, know there’s a beginning step, a main phase, a combat phase, and a second main phase. You can play any of the previously mentioned cards, including sorceries, and activate planeswalker abilities, whenever it’s your main phase and the stack is empty.

The Stack: Whenever you cast a spell or activate a non-mana ability, or a triggered ability triggers, it will go on the stack. Things on the stack resolve last-in, first-out.

Instants are just like sorceries, but you can cast them at any time you have priority. This means they can go on the stack above other spells, which allows them to interact with other spells. Activated abilities can also be activated whenever, except for planeswalker abilities and those which specify otherwise.

Priority: When you have priority, you will have an opportunity to cast spells, play lands, and activate abilities. Everyone gets priority every phase, and it starts with the active player (whoever’s turn it is) and is passed around in turn order.

Whenever something goes on the stack, priority is passed around as well. Once each player has passed priority, it resolves and priority is passed once again for the next thing.

You can hold priority to cast multiple spells in a row.

Here’s a quick example to see how spells, abilities, and priority all interact on the stack:

Johnny and Timmy are playing each other, and it’s Timmy’s main phase. Johnny has a 0/2 Incubation Druid.

Timmy plays a Bala Ged Scorpion, which goes on the stack. Priority is passed around and it resolves. Its triggered ability goes on the stack, and Timmy targets Johnny’s Incubation Druid, since its power is 0, less than 1.

Since the ability is on the stack, Timmy gets priority and passes it to Johnny. In response, Johnny casts Burst of Strength, maintains priority, and casts a second Burst of Strength. Now priority passes between them for both, and they both resolve. Incubation Druid is now a 2/4.

Priority passes for Bala Ged Scorpion’s ability, but since the Incubation Druid now has more than 1 power, the ability does nothing and fizzles.

Fizzle: A spell whose target is no longer legal does nothing when it resolves. This is colloquially called fizzling.

Assuming he had the mana for it, Johnny could also have activated Incubation Druid’s Adapt ability in response to the Bala Ged Scorpion, making it a 3/5 and also letting it survive.

There are lots of cool things you can do with the stack, such as making slick plays to foil your opponents’ spells or to copy big spells for massive value.

Some permanent cards have Flash. This is a keyword ability that lets you play the card as if it was an instant. Teferi, Mage of Zhalfir is the quintessential Flash card, as it also gives your other creatures flash and prevents your opponents from playing at instant speed.

6. Where are We?

I’ve been throwing around terms such as Graveyard and Battlefield, so what exactly do these mean? Well, these are all zones. We’ve already looked at one zone - Exile. The Stack is also a zone.

A zone is a place where cards can exist. They may have abilities that work while in that zone, most often on the battlefield. Public zones are where all the cards are known. This includes the Battlefield, the Graveyard, and Exile.

Urabrask’s ability only works while he’s on the battlefield, and only creatures you control on the battlefield would get haste - after all, those are the only ones who can use it, anyways. Yixlid Jailer takes away abilities from cards in graveyards, so Momentary Blink would not have Flashback while it’s there. Momentary Blink also exiles a creature (using the old wording of “removed from the game”) and brings it back, known as flickering.

Private zones are anywhere where cards are not public information. This includes your hand and your library. Thoughtseize, and other similar hand disruption spells, let you take a peek at what your opponent has. Loads of cards like Armillary Sphere let you search your library for cards. Others may reveal the top card of your library, or let you look at the top few.

It’s also possible to have “hidden” cards in public zones. Willbender feature the Morph mechanic, which lets you cast it face-down as a 2/2 creature. This means your opponent won’t know what it is until you turn it face up, but you will. Other effects might put cards face-down in exile, where you could cast them.

Whenever a card changes zones, it becomes a new “object”. That means all counters, equipment, and auras fall off, and it is no longer being targeted by anything that was targeting it before. A classic use of this rule is flickering a creature being targeted by a kill spell - even though it comes back to the battlefield, it is a new object and is thus no longer being targeted by the kill spell. The spell will fizzle and your creature will be safe.

7. Starting the Game

Ok. So you’ve got a basic understanding of all the cards and the different locations. How do you get started actually playing?

There are lots of ways to play the game, but I’ll start out with the most common: a 1v1, best of 3 duel. This will also get a little bit into deckbuilding, but there’s a lot more on that later.

Most 1v1 decks will be 60 cards. In fact, this is a lower limit, and you can have as many cards as you want, but it’s convention to stay at 60 cards to maintain consistency. In a best of 3 match, you will also have a sideboard - 15 or less cards that may target specific strategies such as graveyard decks or artifact decks. After your first game and seeing what your opponent is playing, you’ll be able to switch out cards in your deck for the right silver bullets for games 2 and 3.

Common sideboard cards against Burn, graveyard, and artifact strategies.

If you’re playing a casual game with a friend, feel free to omit the sideboard, but it’s a staple part of competitive play and is a fun way to personalize decks in strictly defined metagames.

Now that you’ve got a deck (and presumably, a friend with a deck as well) shuffle up. Cut your opponent’s deck by putting the top half on the bottom (a customary ritual to prevent cheating) and let them cut yours. Figure out who’s going first by rolling some dice (whoever wins gets to choose, but generally going first is preferred), and draw seven cards.

You may not like your hand for several reasons. Maybe you have too many lands, or none at all. Your lands might all produce the same color of mana instead of all the colors you need, or you might have only highly-costed spells and nothing to do on your early turns.

No problem, just shuffle it back in and draw seven more. This is called mulliganing. You can do this as many times as you want, but don’t be too hasty, because once you find a hand you like, you’ll need to put one card from your hand on the bottom of your library for each time you mulliganed.

Now it’s time for your first turn. But before we really get playing, let’s look at the structure of a turn.

8. Phases of a Turn

credit to u/paper_alien

From this fancy diagram, we can see that your turn is broken down into roughly three different parts. I’ll be including examples of cards that interact with each phase. First is the beginning phase.

Your untap step is right at the start, when all your permanents untap. Simply turn them right-side up. Claustrophobia would prevent one of your opponents’ creatures from untapping, rendering it useless as an attacker and blocker, as well as preventing its tap abilities from being used. No player gains priority during the untap step, and play immediately proceeds to the upkeep step.

Normally, nothing happens here, unless an ability triggers. For example, the Luminous Angel gives you a 1/1 token on your upkeep. Players will get priority, so you’ll have a chance to cast instants or activate abilities as well.

After that is the draw step. You immediately draw a card, and abilities like that of Font of Mythos will trigger. Again, priority passes around. Once you’ve finished with the draw step, move on to your main phase.

Side note: Normally, players will typically condense these three steps into one (untapping and drawing), because it’s rare that you do play something here, but the steps are distinct for those cases in which you do need to take an action.

As mentioned above, your main phases are the only times you can play lands and non-instant spells, as well as activate planeswalker abilities. They sandwich your combat phase. It’s uncommon for cards to trigger during your main phases, but the two above are prime examples of such cards. Many activated abilities will also have an explicitly written restriction to only use them during your main phases.

The combat phase is the most complex, as it is really made up of five to six distinct subphases. First, you declare that you are going to move to combat. This will trigger cards like Hazoret’s Favor, and will give your opponents an opportunity to subdue your creatures before they can attack but after you have a chance to cast relevant non-instant cards.

Once priority is passed around, you move to the Declare Attackers step. Here, you will tap each creature you want to have attack, meaning you can only attack with untapped creatures, and declare the player or planeswalker it will be attacking. Creatures do not attack other creatures (this isn’t Hearthstone), and instead your opponent will have a chance to block your creatures with their own.

This happens after priority is passed around and you move to the Declare Blockers step. Your opponent will choose which of their untapped creatures they want to block your attacking creatures. Each creature can block up to one other creature, but any number of creatures can block one creature.

Next is the Damage step. Here, each unblocked creature will deal damage to the player or planeswalker it’s attacking, and each blocked or blocking creature will deal damage equal to its power to the creature(s) it’s been pitted against. If one of your creatures is being blocked by multiple, you need to divide its power among them. For example, a 3/3 being blocked by two 2/1′s must deal 1 damage to one and 2 damage to another. All creatures who have been dealt more damage than their toughness die and are put into the graveyard.

The theoretical sixth step actually occurs before the Damage step - the First/Double Strike step. If any creatures with first strike or double strike are involved in the combat, this step will be created and those creatures will have an opportunity to deal damage before other creatures. For example, if a 5/1 with first strike is blocked by a 3/3, the 5/1 will deal 5 damage to the 3/3 before it has a chance to fight back, and the 3/3 dies. Double strike means the creature deals its damage twice - during this phase and the regular combat phase.

Finally is the End of Combat step. Similarly to the Beginning of Combat step, this is mostly a formality, but some cards do trigger here (such as the Wall of Cinders), and priority is passed around.

Notice that you also get priority after every one of these phases, meaning you have tons of control over what happens. This allows you to play combat tricks. For example, say you attack with a 4/4 and your opponent has a 4/2. They might think you just want to trade creatures (meaning both die) and blocks your attacker. Before damage, you have a chance to play Giant Growth, pumping your creature out of range of your opponent’s creature, so yours survives.

This is also a great time to cover the keyword abilities I’ve been bringing up throughout, as many of them concern combat. Many of them are fairly self-explanatory, and are not exclusive to creatures.

Deathtouch: Whenever this creature deals damage to another creature, that creature dies.

Defender: This creature can’t attack. Often seen on Walls.

First Strike/Double Strike: As mentioned above, these let the creature deal damage before other creatures. Double Strike means it deals damage twice, once in the first strike damage phase and once in the regular phase.

Flash: You can play this card at instant speed. Can appear on any permanent card.

Flying: This creature can’t be blocked except by other fliers and creatures with Reach.

Haste: This creature isn’t affected by summoning sickness.

Hexproof: This can’t be targeted by your opponents’ spells and abilities. This doesn’t prevent it from being affected by “choose” or “all” effects.

Indestructible: This can’t be destroyed by damage or effects that say “destroy”. It can still be sacrificed, exiled, or given -X/-X to reduce its toughness to 0.

Lifelink: Whenever this deals damage, you gain that much life.

Reach: Can block creatures with flying.

Shroud: Like Hexproof, but also prevents you from targeting it (for example, with a pump spell or equipment).

Trample: Excess combat damage can be dealt to your opponent. However, you still need to deal lethal damage to any blockers. For example, a 5/5 with trample being blocked by a 2/3 must deal at least 3 damage to the 2/3 so that you can deal 2 damage to your opponent.

Vigilance: This creature doesn’t need to tap when attacking.

Menace: This creature must be blocked by at least two creatures.

There are many, many more keyword abilities, but these are the most common - the rest you will come across as you explore the different sets and planes.

After your second main phase comes the end step. In reality, you’ll care more about your opponent’s end step, because it is the optimal time to play removal, card draw, or other useful instants because it will give your opponent the least amount of time to react before your next turn. However, once priority is passed during your end step, check if you have more than seven cards in your hand - the maximum hand size. if you do, the cleanup step is created. Here, you must discard down to seven cards, and there will be another chance for priority after that. Seven is the default maximum hand size, but there are many cards that let you play around with that.

So now you’ve got your deck, you’ve mulliganed as you need, you’ve played an Island. I see you preparing to cast that Opt - but wait! Casting a spell is quite a bit more complex than it first seems, so let’s go over that now.

9. Casting Spells and Activating Abilities

All this time, I’ve been talking about casting and activating without really explaining exactly what that means, so now let’s make sure you know what that means. There is a lot of nuance to properly casting a spell, but once you understand it, you can ignore all the decorum in most cases. However, it’s still important to know exactly what happens to prevent common misunderstandings, and because Magic is full of strange cards that love to bend the rules; you will doubtless find fun corner cases.

The steps to casting a spell and activating an ability are identical except the first, so I will be going over them together, referring to casting a spell.

Declare you are going to be casting the spell by putting it from where it is (generally, your hand) onto the stack. An ability will be put onto the stack as an arbitrary object.

Declare all the additional and alternative costs you wish to pay (for example, Vandalblast’s Overload cost), the mode of the card for split cards (such as Assure // Assemble) and double-faced cards (such as Alrund, who is also a bird on his other side!), and define the value of X (such as for Chalice of the Void), which you can pay for in mana of any color.

Choose the targets of your spell. You must have a legal target for each time the word “target” appears on the card (this is when effects such as “When this becomes the target of a spell” are triggered and go on the stack, to be sorted out and resolved later).

Now determine how much you need to pay. This includes cost reductions and additional costs, such as for Torgaar, as well as taxing effects (i.e., “noncreature spells cost {1} more to cast).

Activate mana abilities, such as those from your lands and mana rocks, and pay all costs as required. This means, for example, that you can tap a creature that produces mana and sacrifice it to pay for Torgaar.

Congratulations! Your spell or ability is now on the stack. Abilities that trigger while you are casting your spell, such as Talrand’s, will be on the stack above it and will thus resolve first. We covered fizzling before, but to clarify, a spell will fizzle only if all its targets are no longer legal, either through dying, or gaining Hexproof, or some other means. This means you get no part of its effects. If it has multiple targets, and only some become illegal, the card resolves as normal.

Like I said, you really don’t need to understand all of this in depth, but it helps clarify the occasional odd rules interaction.

10. Abilities

There are four types of abilities that you might find on cards. The one we’ve just covered extensively was activated abilities, which further come in two forms.

Draconic Disciple handily features both: a mana ability, and a normal activated ability. Notice that all activated abilities use the syntax “Cost X, Cost Y: Ability.” As we covered last chapter, you need to use mana abilities before paying costs when activating an ability, so you couldn’t tap Draconic Shaman for mana for his own ability as well as tap him to summon the dragon.

The main distinction for mana abilities is that they don’t use the stack, resolve instantly, and can be used while casting spells. An activated ability is considered a mana ability if and only if all it does is create mana. That means that Deathrite Shaman’s first ability is not a mana ability, because it exiles a land in addition to creating a mana.

The three other types of abilities are triggered abilities, passive abilities, and replacement effects.

Vanquisher’s Banner features a passive ability by giving all your creatures of a certain creature type +1/+1. It’s pretty straightforward: a static ability simply applies as long as the permanent which has it is on the battlefield. There are nuances in “layering”, but this is already far more complex than you’ll need to know for the majority of games. Feel free to read that article, though.

Vanquisher’s Banner’s third ability is a triggered ability - an ability that goes on the stack when something happens. This could be casting a spell, a creature entering the battlefield, or drawing a card - or just about anything. These are generally in the form “When” or “Whenever”, and should not be confused with replacement effects.

Replacement effects, like the one seen on Teferi’s Ageless Insight, come in the form “If... would... instead”. They are similar to triggered abilities in that they occur in response to something happening, but they don’t use the stack. Instead, think of them as modifiers to abilities. For example, if Teferi’s Ageless Insight was formatted like a triggered ability, drawing you a card each time you drew a card, you’d be stuck in an endless loop of drawing. Instead, replacement effects only apply once to each thing they modify.

There are many ways that abilities might manifest themselves, and they don’t always need to be on the battlefield. Bridge From Below’s wall of text works when it’s in the graveyard. Skyscribing’s ability only works from your hand, and is keyworded by Forecast, which only appeared in the original Ravnica set.

The best way to experience all the different interesting abilities and cards is just by playing and expanding your collection. Enjoy playing around and learning more about the game.

This is just about all you need to know to understand the game itself. However, Magic cards just love bending the rules, so you’ll always be encountering interesting rules interactions that will teach you more about the game as you play.

11. Formats

Here is where the fun really begins. Choosing a format is like choosing a social media platform: it comes with its own drama, flavor, speed, and player personalities. All formats use 60 card decks with 15 card sideboards, and start at 20 life, except Brawl and Commander. Each format has its own banlist, so make sure you check that before building just any deck. However, feel free to totally disregard all formats and just build whatever deck you want to have fun with friends!

Here are the most popular formats:

Standard: Probably the most popular 1v1 format, Standard uses cards from the last few sets, and constantly rotates. Deck prices can range from under 100$ to over 500$ when certain powerful cards are in rotation, but when a card rotates out, it can lose its value if it isn’t played in older formats. It can be competitive, but also lets you play with fun new cards in a weaker environment.

Pioneer: The newest official format, Pioneer uses cards dating back to the set Return to Ravnica. It has the same fresh feel as Standard, but doesn’t rotate and is closer in power level to Modern.

Modern: This format uses cards from the newest set all the way back to Eighth Edition from 2003. Decidedly more powerful than Standard, and expensive as well. Competitive decks can range from 200-1000$, but the vast size of the card pool means you can find budget builds and underdog decks to tinker with.

Legacy: You can use any card in the history of Magic, except those from the Banlist. The power level is incredibly high, yet the stereotype of 2-turn games is not as true as one might think. Because of the original dual lands, decks are often over 1000$, but mono-colored decks such as Burn can be brought down to 200$. Definitely not for the faint of heart.

Vintage: Like legacy, all cards are at your disposal, and this time, instead of a banlist, you have a restricted list, meaning you are limited to 1 copy of certain cards. A single copy of Black Lotus can be tens of thousands of dollars, and is a staple alongside the rest of the Power Nine. Very few play it because of the price tag, but it lets you tap into the true power of the oldest Magic cards.

Commander (AKA EDH): Play with any card, like Legacy, but with the distinct Commander banlist. The deckbuilding process here is very different: Pick a legendary creature you like, and pick 99 more cards that are of the same color(s) as your commander. This is a singleton format, meaning you can only have one of each card except for basic lands. Commander is also a multiplayer format, played in pods of 3-6; most often 4. Your commander starts in the Command Zone, where you can cast it. Each time it dies, it goes back to the Command Zone, where you can replay it for an additional 2 mana each time. The multiplayer nature, 40 starting life total, and high variance make Commander incredibly casual, much more a social event than a game. Have fun casting huge spells, playing pet cards, and embodying your commander. That being said, there’s a competitive scene in EDH, known as cEDH.

Brawl: Ah, Brawl. Commander’s younger, forgotten brother. It’s a cross between Commander and Standard, in which you have a commander (in this case, it can also be a planeswalker) and must have singleton copies of cards. Like Standard, you can only use cards from the last few sets, your deck is only 60 cards (no sideboard, though), and games are 1v1. You start with 25 life. Almost nobody plays this in person, but it’s very fun on MTG Arena.

12. Where to Play

Assuming you don’t have a group of friends ready to accept you into their playgroup, finding people to play with can be hard. First, I’d recommend checking Wizards of the Coast’s official Store Locator to find local game stores that might be hosting events and selling cards. If you go to their websites, they’ll often have calendars listing events by date, format, price, and prize. Explore and find one you like. MTG players are generally friendly, and will be willing to accept you into their playgroup, teach you about the game, and maybe even let you borrow a deck!

If you don’t feel like playing in person, there are several online options.

Magic Online (AKA MTGO or MODO) is the primary official way to play. Pay 10$ for an account, and you can buy, sell, and trade cards as if they were real. No really - Magic cards are almost like stocks, and MTGO cards are basically digital versions of Magic cards, so their price will generally mirror their real world counterparts, albeit at a lower price.

Magic Arena (MTGA) is the newest official online game. It only has cards from recent sets, back to Kaladesh, as well as a few odd cards hand-picked for Historic play (a format specific to the game that uses all cards available). Because of the smaller card pool, MTGA is limited to Standard, Brawl, and Historic as the primary game modes. However, it is free to play and your collection can’t be traded, so you collect cards somewhat like Hearthstone.

There are also a few unofficial programs, including Untap.in, XMage, and Cockatrice, which are free and give you access to the full range of cards for testing new decks before you buy them in paper.

Make sure you keep track of MagicFests, official conventions hosted both around the world and online, to meet tons of new people and play in competitive events.

Ultimately, though, many people choose to play at home around the kitchen table with friends and family. Play wherever and however you feel most comfortable; after all, Magic’s best aspect is self-expression.

13. Accessories

Credit: Tolarian Community College

If you’ve visited a local game store by now, you may have noticed that they sell way more than just cards. There are a myriad of accessories you can use to personalize your game and protect your cards.

Dice: from D4′s to D20′s, you can find these in countless colors and styles. Have fun picking your favorite and use them to keep track of life totals, counters, tokens, and more.

Sleeves: These can come in many different colors and designs, but vary wildly in quality. Pick the ones that feel right for you. These will help you shuffle your deck with ease and prevent your cards from getting damaged. Inner and outer sleeves provide additional protection for your most valuable and prized decks.

Deckboxes: Again, tons of variation. The right deckbox for you will depend on how many cards you want to fit in it, if you want space for dice, the design, and much more.

Playmats: These provide a sleek surface for you to easily pick up, tap, and move your cards around. Pick ones with your favorite Magic art, or order one with your own.

Trade Binders: Once you’ve built up a collection, you might have a few valuable cards you want to show off. Put them in a trade binder, and approach people to find other neat cards you might need.

Tolarian Community College on Youtube provides the best reviews of popular accessories, rating and testing them thoroughly. He also dishes out incredible commentary on new sets and the state of the game. Probably the most popular MTG Youtuber out there.

14. Further Resources

You’ve made it this far, but there’s still so much to explore! Here, I’ll be listing plenty of websites that are excellent resources to expand your understanding of the game.

The official rules: Quite dry, but this is where to go if you ever find a confusing interaction.

Tolarian Community College: I just discussed him, but I must reiterate how awesome his channel is.

Scryfall: A powerful search engine for all the Magic cards you might be looking for. What I’ve been using for card images this whole time. WOTC’s official Gatherer pales in comparison.

TCGPlayer: My favorite way to order cards online, but alternatives include Card Kingdom, StarCityGames, and ChannelFireball.

MTGGoldfish: An excellent all-round resource for keeping track of metagames, card prices, and interesting articles and gameplay. You can also use it to find, build, and share decks and see their prices.

EDHREC: This site conglomerates EDH decks from around the internet to give you a condensed list of the best cards by commander. A must-have resource when building new commander decks.

Last but not least, the best way to learn to play Magic is to watch others. I started out by watching gameplay from Grand Prix’s and other competitions on Youtube. Even though I barely knew what the cards were, I quickly picked up the most popular ones, learned common play patterns, and more. You don’t need to be a pro to learn from them.

15. Have Fun!

Yeah, it’s cheesy, but as I’ve reiterated, Magic is a game of self-expression. With thousands of cards to pick from, plenty of formats, styles, and accessories, customize your play experience as much as you want and be comfortable with that. Meet new people, participate in trading, and play in local events. Magic is what you make of it, so make it the best it can be.

#mtg #magic the gathering #mtg guide

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commandertheory · 5 years ago

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Throne of Eldraine Commander Set Review

For each new set, I write an article discussing the new legendary creatures and the nonlegendary cards that I think will be relevant in Commander.

The Commanders of Throne of Eldraine

He’s a more interesting political commander than most existing options because he has so many tools to work with. Notably, the last ability goes infinite with a Composite Golem and any one of the following effects:

Something that triggers when an artifact or creature enters the battlefield

Something that triggers when an artifact or creature is put into the graveyard

Something that reduces the cost of activated abilities

Sample decklist: Kenrith, the Returned King

In terms of tech, there’s Well of Lost Dreams, Dawn of Hope, Angelic Accord, and Resplendent Angel. But that’s about it, and if you don’t draw those four cards, you’re left with a commander that gives you a small boost in the least important resource in a color that can’t use that resource for anything.

While it’s not great as a commander, it’s probably good in the maindeck of Karlov decks.

This seems quite bad. In contrast, Pianna, Nomad Captain does basically the same thing for two mana cheaper.

This is a very neat self-mill combo commander. The absolute best pieces of tech for the deck are Mirran Spy and Chakram Retriever, which allow you to cast as many artifacts as you have the mana for. If your deck is full of 0-mana artifacts and cards like Sol Ring and Mana Crypt that net mana when you cast them, you can really combo off with Emry.

Some of the more notable combos:

0-mana artifact creature + Thornbite Staff/Intruder Alarm/Mirran Spy + Grinding Station/Ashnod’s Altar/Phyrexian Altar/Krark-Clan Ironworks/Blasting Station

Basalt Monolith + Mesmeric Orb

Basalt Monolith + Rings of Brighthearth

Mirran Spy/Chakram Retriever + Lotus Petal/Lion’s Eye Diamond

Emry + Mindslaver

Walking Ballista is your outlet for infinite mana, generally.

The rest of the deck is mostly tutors and self-mill cards to help you assemble your combos and counterspells to help you protect it.

Sample decklist: Emry, Lurker of the Loch

He’s a better outlet for infinite mana than Ambassador Laquatus and he synergizes extremely well with Verity Circle. Unfortunately, I’m not seeing great uses for those guy aside from those two possibilities. Not being able to tap your own stuff means you can’t abuse Winter Orb/Static Orb (or even fun/fair stuff like the untap symbol or inspired) and having such a restrictive color identity prevents you from doing cool stuff like running Urborg, Tomb of Yawgmoth and Spreading Algae.

High Tide and blue’s untap spells (e.g., Frantic Search, Time Spiral) are also good non-infinite ways to generate tons of mana for your commander.

I am not super stoked about this card. While it could potentially have 7 or more power, that’s not an insane rate for 5 mana and it’s lacking the evasion, haste, and effective protection against removal needed to make it a good Voltron commander.

Thornbite Staff turns this into an unrestricted card draw engine, and she combos with Phyrexian Altar + Gravecrawler + any zombie to cause infinite life loss for your opponents.

Not only does it provide a discard outlet for the 8ish decent madness cards in monoblack, but you can usually get a free discard by dumping Bloodghast, Reassembling Skeleton, Gutterbones, Bloodsoaked Champion, etc. before you start recurring them to pay for the sacrifice ability.

It’s also worth noting that there are some fantastic death triggers in monoblack; Mindslicer and Corpse Augur are some standouts.

Shared Trauma, Dread Summons, and Mesmeric Orb are good ways to mill your opponents in monoblack, and Heartstone will greatly increase the efficiency of his activated ability. You can also try farming the ability with powerful discard effects like Mindslicer, Capital Punishment, Cabal Conditioning, and Myojin of Night’s Reach, and Black’s efficient removal will also help you get triggers.

I’ve also seen takes on this deck that combine the activated ability with Lantern of Insight to set up a soft lock where you prevent your opponents from drawing anything relevant.

With Syr Carah, the name of the game is cheap spells that hit multiple opponents. Fortunately, Red has a ton of these that are relatively cheap and so Carah makes it so you can draw a ton of cards for relatively little mana (spending 2 to draw 4 is a pretty common occurrence). If some of those cards net mana (e.g., rituals, moxes), then you can keep the combo going.

Sample decklist: Syr Carah, the Bold

Aside from boosting your creatures’ damage output, he also combines extremely well with Group Slug effects like Manabarbs and Spellshock; in fact, he’s probably the best Group Slug commander of all time.

Sample decklist: Torbran, Thane of Red Fell

Bubble Matrix and Fog effects make it so that your creatures can’t take damage in combat but they can still dish it out.

You can also run Viridian Longbow and Thornbite Staff to make use of this guy’s deathtouch. Other than that, there’s not a whole lot of direction to build around this guy; bog standard Voltron package, I guess.

I wish this card had more power. +2/+2 is nothing and while I can think of creatures that could use a buff effectively (Infect creatures), I feel like I need to buff Syr Faren in order to buff them more. If that’s the case, why am I even using Syr Faren? Why not just buff the creatures directly and cut out the middleman?

You can get a bunch of counters with cards like Deranged Hermit, Deep Forest Hermit, etc, but 5 mana for 5 power isn’t even that great compared to some of the better auras and equipment.

Also, give that Yorvo’s reward is making himself bigger, the only way to build around him is Voltron; which he’s not well suited for. His base stats are a 4/4 for 3, which isn’t insane, and he doesn’t have haste, evasion, or resistance to removal.

Although I don’t like him as a commander, he could be good in the maindeck of Ghave decks.

This guy combos really well with sac outlets and creatures with persist, offering you infinite of whatever your sac outlet generates. Unfortunately, there’s only about 6 unrestricted sac outlets and 6 persist creatures in these colors, which is far from enough stuff to fill out a deck, so there’s a lot of room for token generators, proliferate effects, interaction, and a generally more straightforward aggressive game plan.

Sample decklist: Grumgully, the Generous

I tried building Alela a few ways before I settled on a build I liked. Initially, I tried running a bunch of cheap (3 CMC or less) anthem effects, because they were essentially “lords” when they came with a 2/1 Faerie attached. The issue with this build was that there wasn’t much card flow, and although I often ended up with a huge scary board, I didn’t have many cards in hand and I was very vulnerable to board wipes.

The second build I tried used a ton of 2-cost artifacts and enchantments that drew a card when they entered the battlefield; essentially, my deck was full of flying Silvergill Adepts. This has been working pretty well, as I can commit a bunch of dudes to the board while maintaining a respectable hand so I can rebuild if something goes wrong.

In addition to my card-drawing eggs and Auras, I’m also running the most efficient anthem effects in these colors, such as Favorable Winds, Shared Triumph, Intangible Virtue, and Konda’s Banner.

Combat damage triggers are pretty good when you have a bunch of flyers, so I’m running Coastal Piracy, Bident of Thassa, Larceny, and Kindred Discovery.

There are a few sac outlets that are powerful enough to justify diverting a few Faeries away from the beatdown, such as Attrition, Mind Slash, and Skullclamp.

Sample decklist: Alela, Artful Provocateur

This guy is a powerful combo commander centered around chaining cheap creatures together. He has very strong synergy with effects that subsidize or eliminate the cost of cheap creatures, such as Earthcraft, Aluren, and Tangleroot and he loves self-bouncing creatures like Shrieking Drake.

Sample decklist: Chulane, Teller of Tales

Works well with fetchlands, so a good Korvold build will likely have a solid land package. That being said, the heart of this deck is creature sacrifice, and this color identity has some great sac fodder in the form of token generation and self-recurring creatures, as well as some of the best sac outlets in the format. He also works well with creatures that really, really want to die, like Protean Hulk, Mindslicer, Seedguide Ash, and World Shaper.

Sample decklist: Korvold, Fae-Cursed King

I think Syr Gwyn is worth comparing to Kestia, the Cultivator. Both of them reward you when you attack with a narrow subset of cards. The main differences are that Kestia is significantly cheaper, is in a better color identity, and the things that trigger Kestia only require the commitment of a single card, whereas Syr Gwyn (generally) needs you to commit both a creature card and an equipment card to assemble a card-generating unit.

There are some exceptions to this rule: Living Weapon equipment come with a creature attached, as do the two equipment from M20 with a similar ability. Bloodforged Battle-Axe copies itself so you don’t have to commit as many real equipment to the board.

While there are a few low-casting cost high-equip cost cards like Colossus Hammer and Blackblade Reforged that really reward you for committing to Knights, most of the best equipment costs 1-2 mana to equip. I’m not sure saving 1-2 mana is worth committing to the Knight creature type.

Instead, I’d probably run the cheap doublestrikers in these colors (many of which are, admittedly, Knights) and a bunch of cards that synergize with equipment (not just Stoneforge and Puresteel; I think I’d also run Kor Duelist). In general, I want the deck to function without Syn Gwyn on the battlefield, since she costs a bunch of mana and isn’t very resilient to spot removal. Slapping a Mask of Memory on a Fencing Ace seems like a solid plan A in case Gwyn can’t get it together.

Sample decklist: Syr Gwyn

The Maindeck Cards of Throne of Eldraine

In this set review, I’ll be using two five-point rating scales to evaluate the nonlegendary cards, one that measures how many decks a card is playable in (we’ll call that “spread”), and one that measures how powerful it is in those decks (”power”). Here’s a brief rundown of what each rank on the two scales means:

Spread

1: This card is effective in one or two decks, but no more (ex: The Gitrog Monster).

2: This card is effective in one deck archetype (ex: self-mill decks).

3: A lot of decks will be able to use this card effectively (ex: decks with graveyard interactions).

4: This card is effective in most decks in this color.

5: Every deck in this color is able to use this card effectively.

Power

1: This card is always going to be on the chopping block.

2: This card is unlikely to consistently perform well.

3: This card provides good utility but is not a powerhouse.

4: This card is good enough to push you ahead of your opponents.

5: This card has a huge impact on the game.

Spread: 2 Power: 2

The -3 will never be bad, but spending six mana for this effect is not great. His 0 ability does synergize with sacrifice decks like Mazirek and Savra, but I’m still not sure he’s worth the price of entry in those lists.

Spread: 5 Power: 3

Shutting down someone’s commander is a big game, and the potential to activate him multiple turns in a row makes this a very big threat for just three mana.

Spread: 1 Power: 1

1st ability is weak, 2nd is a blank, ult will never happen and won’t even win you the game if it does. Don’t play this card.

Spread: 1 Power: 2

Given that it only works in a deck with a critical mass of Knights, I think this guy is relegated to Aryel and Syr Gwyn. It’s def good in those lists, though.

Spread: 1 Power: 2

This costs one more mana to activate than I was hoping it would, but the opportunity cost to run it is basically nil, so I guess I can’t complain much. I think this is the narrowest of the five, though.

Notably, out of 23 cards in Magic that produce Human tokens, 9 are legal in Throne of Eldraine standard. This seems like too many to be a coincidence so this could mean that Human is now going to be the default white token type or we’ve got Human tribal coming up in the near future.

Spread: 1 Power: 2

I’m not a huge fan of cards that require you to jump through multiple hoops, as they pull a deck in two different directions. In this case, there’s not a big overlap between the decks running lots of legendaries and the decks running lots of Knights. There are about 10 playable Knight legends that you can stuff into a Syr Gwyn deck, but that’s barely a critical mass so I don’t see you consistently getting many Knight tokens off of this. Decks like Kethis and Sisay can trigger this way more frequently, but they probably don’t care about the reward; it’s not like they were running Primeval Bounty.

Spread: 1 Power: 3

Incredibly meta-dependent.

This is a super-powerful hoser for storm-y decks. The main problem with a silver bullet like this is that White doesn’t have many great ways to dig it out of your 100-card deck; you’ll need additional colors to help you find it. Like, side from Enlightened Tutor and Idyllic Tutor, how are you finding this early enough for it to save you?

Spread: 1 Power: 2

The removal spell will find targets in an average game of Commander, but they’re not always going to be the most important creatures. If we ever got human tribal, I’d consider running this as a value dude similar to Big Game Hunter. Or Peasant Tribal, I guess.

Spread: 1 Power: 1

This is never going to trigger and the ETB gives away 3 cards and 15 life. Don’t run it!

Spread: 1 Power: 2

Kicks ass in Oros, the Avenger.

Spread: 2 Power: 2

It’s better than Tocatli Honor Guard in White hatebear lists, but it’s very meta-dependent. I think Green decks are going to be hit harder by the Torpor Orb effect and Black decks will be hit harder by the death trigger prevention.

Spread: 2 Power: 3

If you’re running a deck with Black in its color identity and you could easily recur the creature half of this card, I’d seriously consider running this card, even if it’s one more mana relative to Wrath of God and Damnation; the potential for recursion is seriously that powerful.

And of course it’s really really good if your commander is a White Giant.

Spread: 1 Power: 2

It’s unfortunate that there are no white commanders that grant haste (well, I guess there’s Odric), as Commander does not take too kindly to 6 mana cards that have to wait a round of turns to start generating value. However, as we noted when Aryel was released, there was an embarrassing shortage of playable Knight token generators, so this may see play in Knight tribal decks.

Spread: 2 Power: 2

This type of card (land with expensive activated ability) is arguably better in Blue decks since you can hold counters up and activate it if your opponents don’t cast anything worth answering. As with all the other Castles, the opportunity cost to run this is extremely low in 1- and 2-color decks.

Spread: 0 Power:0

Wish effects currently don’t work under the official Commander rules; hence the ratings for this card.

However, it’s worth noting that Wizards has printed a wish effect in each of the last three Standard sets. These types of designs are clearly going to be a part of Magic going forward, and it doesn’t make sense that Commander’s rules don’t align with modern Magic design. You’ve probably heard me advocating for a rules change before, but I want to do more than theorycraft; I want some experience.

So, I’m planning on testing wishboards over the next few months to see what the pros/cons are and whether a rules change would be feasible or whether it would break the game. Now, I want to make a distinction: The wishboard will be used solely as a place for cards that I’ll search out with cards like Fae of Wishes; I’m not going to be testing a sideboard and I will not be switching cards between my sideboard and maindeck between games. I didn’t really want to test that because I think it will slow down games and sideboarding doesn’t matter that much unless your deck is really good at tutoring; a silver bullet sideboard card with no redundant effects is only 1% of your deck.

Expect a report back sometime at the beginning of 2020.

Spread: 4 Power: 2

I don’t think it’s particularly difficult to hit the cost reduction over the course of a multiplayer game, but it’ll be tricky to pull off early and there are lots of alternatives that have no such timing restrictions.

Spread: 2 Power: 2

I’m really underwhelmed by this card. This is uncastable unless you’re running a spellslinger deck, and if that’s the case you can probably win by spell combo looong before this accrues enough knowledge counters to be good. Also, spellslinger decks can refill their hands instantly with a single card that actually synergizes with their deck’s strategy of casting instants/sorceries, such as Windfall, Time Reversal, Reforge the Soul, etc, etc. How much effort and how many turns will it take for Magic Mirror to draw you as many cards as a Windfall? How many opponents have to choose not to Vandalblast or Krosan Grip or Return to Dust the Mirror over that time period?

Spread: 3 Power: 2

Great card! It’s not hard to build a deck with plenty of mana rocks and utility enchantments that are good in multiples, and your opponents are likely to have some good targets, as well.

Spread: 2 Power: 3

If you’re in monoblue, and your commander can bounce lands, and you’ve got a critical mass of extra turn effects, this thing generates infinite turns.

That may sound unlikely, but there are a surprising number of monoblue commanders that can bounce lands; Uyo, Silent Prophet, Meloku, and Kefnet the Mindful all combo off with this thing, and there are 5 extra turn effects that don’t exile or shuffle that you can slot into this combo (6 if you’ve got Rogues).

Spread: 2 Power: 3

Very good with commanders with “cast X, get token” abilities, like Sai, Master Thopterist, Alela, Artful Provocateur, Kykar, and Talrand. Many of those commanders build around cards of the chosen type that cantrip, so you can use this ability to loot away lands and chain relevant cards into each other and continually trigger your commander.

Also, it goes infinite with the Locust God.

Spread: 2 Power: 2

This seems good in less-competitive Urza and Jhoira 2.0 decks as a means to get more gas off your Darksteel Relics and such. The good builds don’t have time for a 6-mana dragon, though.

Spread: 1 Power: 2

With the introduction of Syr Gwyn, there are now two Knight tribal decks in Commander. Run it in those decks and nowhere else.

Spread: 4 Power: 2

Life is, of course, worthless, but I’d still be wary of activating this when I had more than two cards in hand.

Spread: 1 Power: 4

Incredible combo piece in Grenzo, Dungeon Warden decks. All you need is a sac outlet and you can start juggling creatures between the library, graveyard, and battlefield, farming ETB and death triggers.

It also seems good in self-mill decks that can easily drop its cost down to two, but the bottom-of-library drawback is much more significant in those lists.

Spread: 2 Power: 3

This will often create 4 bodies for four mana, which is a great ratio. Black has a ton of sac outlet commanders that will be happy to run this card, including Torgaar, Whisper, Bontu, and Yawgmoth. Marrow-Gnawer lists may also be interested, as it’s one of the few Rat token generators that can make many at once.

Spread: 3 Power: 2

Hero’s Downfall sees play in almost 15,000 decks on EDHREC. While this card has some weird drawbacks (exiles itself, then buries itself on the bottom of your library), there are a lot of powerful things you can do with it because it’s stapled to a creature, like recurring it with a Phyrexian Reclamation or Volrath’s Stronghold in response to the death trigger. It works even better if you have access to Blue’s bounce engines.

I know it seems a little goofy compared to a Ravenous Chupacabra, but the instant speed on Swift End should not be underestimated, as there are a ton of situations where you need to interrupt something to keep from dying.

Spread: 1 Power: 2

Upping your Rat count and snatching commanders seems solid in Marrow-Gnawer lists.

Spread: 3 Power: 3

If you’re running a combo deck, the drawback is basically negligible, since your deck can probably kill your opponent before they can use it.

Thanks to @ceta-maelstrom for pointing out that this works pretty well in Aminatou, since she can blink it back under your control.

Spread: 3 Power: 2

Probably the best in the cycle. It’s useful in the many, many red token decks and the rate on the activation is not bad.

Spread: 1 Power: 2

There aren’t a whole lot of Red decks capable of going wide that are interested in double strike for their commanders; most decks don’t go both wide and tall. Maybe Wasitora or Gishath can use this effectively?

Spread: 1 Power: 2

The Crush effect will never be irrelevant in Commander, so this is a solid card for Syr Gwyn decks that lean into Knight tribal. I probably wouldn’t run it in other decks, however, as Red has better artifact destruction than this.

Spread: 1 Power: 2

This guy is too inefficient for me to be excited to run him in most go-wide decks, but tribal lists always have a lower barrier to entry because their creature type is so valuable. In Syr Gwyn tribal Knights, I’d give this anthem effect a shot.

Spread: 1 Power: 1

This effect just seems too hard to break to be worth running. Let me know if you figure out a deck in which it’ll be good.

Spread: 2 Power: 2

This is a generally useful reward for something few decks can pull off. It’s tricky to find commanders that can reliably trigger this a bunch without straight winning the game in the process (i.e., Jhoira Weatherlight Captain, Anje Falkenrath). I think Arjun, Jori En, and Korvold could be good fits for this card.

Spread: 2 Power: 2

In order for this to be good, your commander has to be able to trigger this and make use of the reward. Lyzolda can do this by sacrificing the Rats to draw cards, potentially triggering Mad Ratter again if you activate her on your opponents’ turns.

Korvold behaves similarly, as you can feed him two Rats to draw two cards and trigger the Ratter again.

Finally, the Scorpion God can eat the Rats for cards, thereby creating more Rats.

Spread: 4 Power: 3

Sure, it’s got a drawback, but it offers a relatively unconditional instant-speed kill spell in a color that has far from a critical mass of them. This is one of the best Red spot removal spells, beaten out only by Chaos Warp, Lightning Bolt, and Abrade. This kills 14/21 of the most popular commanders on EDHREC and the vast majority of the most popular creatures.

Spread: 2 Power: 1

Casting exiled cards on later turns is a big benefit, but Robin Hood still has a ton of drawbacks relative to Grenzo, Havoc Raiser.

Spread: 3 Power: 2

I run Tormenting Voice in a LOT of monored decks, and this is strictly better. Excited to see Red getting more and better variants of this effect.

Spread: 3 Power: 2

Heavy Green decks tend to be creature-focused, so the restriction isn’t that significant. It feels a lot better if you think of this card as a Temple of the False God that can still tap for mana when you have fewer than five lands.

Spread: 1 Power: 1

I can’t see where this fits into the format; even Derevi birds would want this to have at least one power. Let me know if you think of a deck that can use this card!

Spread: 3 Power: 3

This is pretty comparable to Guardian Project or Beast Whisperer if you can reliably get a 3+ power creature on the field (perhaps from your command zone?), as the ability to tap for two means this effectively costs 2 less than whatever the reduced price ends up being.

Spread: 1 Power: 2

It took me a minute to notice the “one or more” clause, after which my interest in this card plummeted. However, it is a Cat that draws you a card every turn, so Arahbo with gladly welcome him into the pride.

Spread: 4 Power: 3

It doesn’t hose commanders as hard as Darksteel Mutation, Song of the Dryads, or Imprisoned in the Moon, but the cantrip more than makes up for it.

Spread: 3 Power: 3

Big fan of these effects, and I don’t think the non-Human restriction is very relevant.

Spread: 1 Power: 2

The existence of Bane of Progress (and the dozen tutors to find it) in Green makes this card a lot less appealing. However, the Hydra type makes it a great utility creature for Gargos decks.

Spread: 3 Power: 3

Anyone who’s played Gruul Ragebeast can tell you that this is pretty powerful creature control; if this goes unanswered, you’re going to eat all of your opponents’ threats. I would happily run this in monogreen decks looking for ways to remove multiple creatures, especially if my meta was light on spot removal.

Spread: 1 Power: 1

Never before have I seen an Impulse that was this hard to cast. Bird decks don’t run enough artifacts/enchantments to make this reliably hit, but if there was ever a commander in these colors that rewarded you for playing artifact creatures, I’d consider running this guy.

Spread: 2 Power: 3

This looks like a one-sided Open the Vaults to me, and there are lots of commanders that will be happy to run this, including Hanna, Breya, Tuvasa, and Kestia. I think this card was intentionally designed so that you can easily avoid animating your stuff if you don’t want to, as making your hard-to-remove artifacts and enchantments vulnerable to creature removal is not ideal (as anyone who’s played with Opalescence or Starfield of Nyx can attest).

Spread: 2 Power: 3

This is pretty close to drawing five cards for five mana, provided your curve isn’t too high. I think I’d run this in Gruul or Naya decks with a low curve.

Spread: 3 Power: 2

Fyndhorn Elder and Greenweaver Druid are not good cards, but Llanowar Tribe and Somberwald Sage are. If you’re running 3+ colors, I would happily run this card, as 7 mana on turn 4 is no joke and can really launch you past your opponents.

Spread: 1 Power: 2

Its color identity precludes it from being used in Aryel, so Syr Gwyn is the only home for this card.

Spread: 1 Power: 2

I like this effect way more than a typical anthem, since it scales to multiple opponents. I’d run this in tribal Knights, but don’t get your hopes up about firing off that activated ability when none of the Knight decks are in ramp colors.

Spread: 3 Power: 2

This is one of the best 2-drop mana rocks, but not every deck needs those. Best when used with non-Green 4-CMC commanders.

Spread: 1 Power: 3

This is quite good in Arcades, the Strategist. The rate isn’t terrible and granting all of your creatures haste is very powerful in a deck that can vomit out five 4-toughness defenders in a turn.

Spread: 2 Power: 1

There are a couple lists that are very excited for new Eggs (cheap artifacts that draw cards and sacrifice themselves), such as Gerrard 2.0, Teshar, and some Breya builds.

Spread: 3 Power: 3

I generally do not like anthem effects that only buff for a single point of power, especially when they cost three mana. I also generally do not like mana rocks that cost three and only produce a single mana. However, the combination of these two effects is kind of attractive. Tapping for mana means your anthem essentially only costs two mana, and producing a mana every turn thereafter is a significant bonus. I really like this in Alela since it also triggers her token production ability, but I’d consider testing it in other go-wide token decks as well.

Spread: 1 Power: 2

It’s a 2 CMC scarecrow, which means Reaper King is interested.

Spread: 2 Power: 2

This seems like a solid draw engine for monowhite decks, and maybe monored and red/white decks. As long as you have a commander that doesn’t mind attacking, this’ll probably act as an Underworld Connections.

Spread: 4 Power: 2

Even monocolor decks now have a ton of options for fetches; we’re at the threshold of a critical mass of fetches so you can more consistently assemble an engine with Crucible of Worlds. I’d run this in 3-color decks, 2-color decks, and monocolor decks with Crucible and Scroll Rack.

Wrapping Up

Please let me know if you think I missed any relevant cards or if you disagree with any of my ratings. Thanks for reading!

#set review #edh #commander #eld #mtg #magic the gathering

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tarotmum13 · 5 years ago

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Fantasy World Tarot

After doing a post on Instagram about decks I have modified previously, I was feeling the urge to do another one!

This time I chose the Fantasty World Tarot by Vera Petruk (a.k.a. Samiramay).

The deck came with a black border that I didn’t feel added anything to it ~ so I decided to crop it, using a small guillotine-style cutting board and a corner-punch to trim the deck, and edged it hot-pink using a Sharpie Marker (wanted to do yellow but my little girl has been feeling summery & drawing so much Sunshine lately the yellow marker was all but finished ☺️).

About the deck itself: Calling this deck ecclectic would be an understatement! As the title suggests, these cards are full of weird and wonderful Beings ~ Gods, Goddesses, Creatures from Mythology or Fairytales, others are taken from popular lore and legends the world over.

The choices seem random to say the least, with most creatures assigned to cards without any plausible connection to the traditional card meanings ~ others just seem to have landed on the wrong card: The Valkyrie for instance would make a great Judgement card, rather than Justice.

This seems a small mis-Judgement ~ but a lot of the cards are so wrong, you wonder what the artist was thinking!

The Orc as The King of Cups? The Angel as the 5 of Swords? The Zombie as the 8 of Pentacles?

And I love the Witch in this deck, but is she having a party all by her lonesome as the 3 of Cups?

There is no little white book, so your guess is as good as mine!

A few cards are a bit more appropriate, such as The Gargoyle for The Tower and The Unicorn (with his beloved Maiden on his back) as the 2 of Cups.

Apart from the card number, title and creature identification, there are astrological symbols to be found on the cards – but some cards also have what appears to be totally random numbers in the bottom left corner that I could not find an explanation for…? After reading all this, you may be under the impression that I don’t think much of this deck… but actually, I love it!

It is colourful, exciting, full of stories,… Just don’t expect the images to add much other than a strange twist to the card meanings and enjoy them for what they are: random creatures of dreams and nightmares alike 🤗

For those of you who like this deck, but aren’t sure where to get it: the artist has made it available either as a digital download from her website, or to order a physical copy directly from the printers (either on makeplayingcards.com or printerstudio.com)

#fantasy world tarot #trimming tarot decks #edging tarot decks

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spartanguard · 6 years ago

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something in the water, part 1

Summary: Emma is sent to investigate a supposed sea monster appearance in her hometown. Thankfully, her family there knows her secret: that at night, she transforms into a swan. And she knows that whoever the universe thinks her soulmate is, as dictated by the tattoo on her side, won't be there. Though maybe she was wrong to assume that. And when did a merman start hanging out in the ocean near Storybrooke?

rated M (eventually) | 5.5k | AO3

A/N: Here it finally is—my story for @cssns!! I came up with the idea ages ago but never really found time to write until this event came up. It should be about 7 chapters, but of course I was silly and signed up to post on the first day of band camp, so the next chapter won’t go up until next week, and probably once a week from there on. Hope you like it, and thanks to @kmomof4 for organizing this! I’ll be posting accompanying art as well!

When it came to belief systems, Emma Nolan wasn't what most people would call normal. (Actually, in most regards, she wasn't.)

She didn't place much stock in things like having luck or wishing on stars. Neither had ever really been on her side.

She hadn't quite made up her mind on God (or gods, or goddesses, or whatever). She took care of herself just fine.

The supernatural, though—vampires, zombies, magic, et cetera? There wasn’t much choice when it came to her belief in that, given the way her life had gone and the people she tended to hang out with—even if society as a whole still thought it was all fiction.

But the one thing that everyone believed in—and that Emma remained skeptical on, despite all the proof she'd seen—was soulmates. The idea of a predestined love dictated by some higher being before you were born and only verified by a random, tattoo-like birthmark seemed forced at best and unreliable at worst. It's not like the marks spelled it out—there was plenty of room for interpretation of the symbolism of each soulmark, which also meant plenty of room to have a heart broken.

She had trusted in them, once upon a time, when she met a guy named Neal who’d spent a great deal of his childhood on a ship. The mark splashed across her ribcage made sense with that, and his—of what looked like a feather on his bicep—seemed appropriate for someone like her, and with a secret like hers.

But then he found out what she was hiding, and things got awkward. And then he met Tamara and the feather turned out to be a palm leaf (apparently, that’s what that name means or something). And then things were said—tame things like, “it’s not you, it’s me and my destiny and blah-blah,” and hurtful things like “I couldn’t love someone like you anyways. Who could?”

Which meant Emma was the one left with the broken heart.

So what she’d once thought was a curse actually helped keep her heart safe, and since not everyone had a soulmark, it was easy to pretend she didn’t either.

And like he said, who could love someone like her, anyways?

Actually, she lied; there was one more thing she didn’t believe in, as presented to her by her boss one quiet Thursday afternoon.

“A sea monster? You can’t be serious, Regina.”

“Hey, I didn’t come up with it. I’m just the one who took the call.”

“Well, did you do a sanity check on the caller?”

“I didn’t have to; I know she’s insane. It’s Cruella Feinberg.”

“As in Crazy Cruella from back home? The one obsessed with dogs?” Emma and Regina both hailed from the tiny Maine town of Storybrooke—the definition of quaint. It was really no wonder they’d both escaped to Boston as soon as they could.

“The very one. And while she may have lost touch with reality, her money certainly has not.”

Emma sighed and leaned back in her desk chair. “How much?”

From where she was perched on the corner of Emma’s desk in the office of their bail bonds-slash-private investigation firm, Regina slid a folded up sheet of paper to her. Emma quirked an eyebrow with curiosity; Regina wasn’t typically one to keep things on the down-low like this, unless it was an exceptionally large payout. And this did not seem like the kind of case with one of those; usually, the people who hired them for this kind of situation were broke and/or not mentally sound, so they just played Ghostbuster—convinced the banshee or whatever it was to quit being weird, and charged the client only half of the original amount.

Emma picked up the slip and opened it. Boy, was she wrong this time. “Holy shit!” She exclaimed at the almost-six-figure sum. “This can’t possibly be real.”

“It is; I made her put up half up front to make sure she wasn’t joking. She did it without batting a heavily lined eye.”

Emma checked her desk calendar—was it April Fools or something? “What’s the catch here? This is too good to be true.”

“No catch. Unless me forcing you to take some paid time off counts.”

She scoffed. “This hardly seems like something to use my vacation time on.”

“It’s not. But it’s a two-week assignment in Storybrooke, and I’m not expecting this to take much effort on your end. Actually, I think it will end up being kind of perfect for you. Plus: you deserve it, Emma.”

She crossed her arms and leaned back in her desk chair, huffing; there was a reason she threw herself into work. It left less time for thinking, or being social, or any of those other things that tended to put Emma outside her comfort zone or onto things she’d rather not focus on.

It had been a while since she’d been home, though, and it might be nice to see her brother and sister-in-law...but it also seemed like she was taking advantage of the situation. “Are you sure, Regina? I know you’ve been busy with the Gold case; don’t you want me to stay and help with that?”

For the past several months, Regina had been investigating the disappearances of various supernatural beings—occasionally, they did get hired on legit cases from within their hidden community—with the most recent being an acquaintance of theirs, Tinkerbell, a fairy. A surprising number of her kind had gone missing, along with a werebear named Merida, a couple vampires, and a jeweler with a Midas-like touch. They had yet to find any solid leads, but all of the cases seemed to have a tie to the mysterious Mr. Gold. Emma had never met him herself, but his reputation alone had her worried for Regina’s safety whenever they met; there was no telling when a witch as gifted with magic as Regina was would be next.

(Having a boss that was also a member of the more mythical side of society—and aware of any potential limitations that might put on one’s available working hours—was certainly a perk to this job on its own, odd cases like the one currently in front of her notwithstanding.)

“I’ve got no leads right now, so there’s not much to help with,” Regina answered with a shrug. “Seriously, go spend some time with your family; have a girls night or two with Ruby; air out your feathers a bit.”

Emma gave a hard side-eye at that last comment—Regina could never resist a good bird reference around her—but she was out of arguments against taking the assignment.

She chewed on her bottom lip a bit before saying, “Promise you’ll call me if you need me back here?”

“Promise,” Regina answered, going so far as to draw an x over her heart with her finger. For Regina, that meant business.

“Then I guess I’m off to Storybrooke.”

After a quick call to her sister-in-law Snow, a fleeting trip to her apartment for some clothes and necessities hastily shoved in a threadbare duffel bag, and a stop at the gas station to fill up the tank of her 1972 yellow VW Bug, Emma was off on the 5-ish-hour drive up the coast. It wasn’t quite tourist season yet, but the snow had melted, so she opted for the slower route that kept her closer to the ocean, enjoying the panoramic views of the Atlantic as she drove.

The sign by the side of the road informing drivers that they were “Now Entering Storybrooke” eventually greeted her warmly as it had so many times before, crisp white on kelly green.

Before heading into town, she detoured down a dirt road to Cruella’s place. The Feinberg mansion was certainly more ostentatious than any other house on the road, towering over the smaller coastal cottages, but wasn’t the ridiculous display of wealth Emma had expected—it was more like an oversized bungalow made of light-colored brick.

Dogs started barking as soon as she rang the doorbell, and a shrill voice called at them to “shut it!” before the door swung open. Cruella looked much the same as she did in Emma’s memory, just with a bit more Botox: dramatic two-toned hair, a zealous amount of dark eyeshadow, and clothes just a touch too revealing.

“Oh, Emma darling, thank you so much for coming! I was thrilled when Regina told me you’d taken the case; none of those city types would ever believe me!” Cruella shouted, pulling Emma into a tight hug despite the fact that they’d hardly ever exchanged more than a few words (and that Emma had totally TP’d her house once with Ruby, but they had never been caught).

“Glad to...help…” Emma stammered, stunned at the contact. She had to take a deep breath once Cruella released her, before continuing, “So, can you tell me anything about what you’ve been seeing?”

“Oh, yes, yes—right this way!” The eccentric older woman turned on a dime and led Emma through her house, past the large painting of her now-dead husband (whose death had only been mildly suspicious), through the kitchen, and out to the massive deck that overlooked a semi-secluded cove.

“I see it almost every night when I’m having a nightcap, but only at night, so I think it’s nocturnal,” Cruella started explaining, gesturing dramatically toward the water. “It seems to be dark-colored, but it’s so hard to tell when there’s only a bit of moonlight.”

Emma wondered how strong those nightcaps were mixed, but continued on with a few more questions: how big was it (“Hmm, bigger than a dolphin, but smaller than a whale—but it has a tail like both of them.”), how long had she been seeing it (“A few months, give or take”), and why she’d hired them to investigate (“Well, I need to know what it is so I can be a hospitable host should it ever come ashore! I’m sure my friends would love to meet it!”).

None of it did anything to convince Emma that Cruella wasn’t still a few olives short of a martini, but she assured the widow that she’d get right on it.

“Let me know if I can help at all, and my property is certainly available to your use. I’m always open to some evening company,” Cruella added as Emma headed out.

“I think I’ll be okay, but thanks,” she answered, kind of quickly. “I’ll be in touch.”

She endured one more too-tight hug before hopping back in her car and starting the drive into town. Something told her it was all just the gin-fueled hallucination of a lonely old lady, but Regina was right—this case would probably work out perfectly for her, whether she found anything or not. She already spent most of her nights on the water; might was well get paid for it.

She’d get back to that later, though; now, it was time to see if the town rumor mill still worked like it used to—or at least to see how many people Snow had told of her arrival. Her old bedroom was already waiting for her, based on the last text she received, but it pretty much always was.

First things first, though: food. She easily navigated the all-too-familiar backroads and side streets that led to the center of town, one of the tiniest and most stereotypical little seaside villages known to man. Finding the diner was second nature, and her Bug looked right at home parked in front of it, almost like she’d never left. She actually recognized most of the cars nearby, but especially the two she’d parked in between; she smirked at knowing what—or rather, who—was likely waiting for her inside.

The same old bell rang against the door as she pulled it open, but was quickly drowned out by a high-pitched yelp—the only warning Emma had before being engulfed in another massive hug, but she was expecting this one. Still, she hadn’t quite braced herself enough.

“Ah, Emma! It’s really you; you’re HERE!” her best friend, Ruby Lucas, was shouting in her ear while proceeding to squeeze the life out of her.

“Let her breathe, Ruby!” a gruff voice barked from behind the counter. Despite the asphyxiation, Emma smiled at how little things ever changed.

“Sorry, sorry!” Ruby apologized as she let go; she always forgot her own strength, and now that Emma was free, she could see Granny behind them, hands on her hips and shaking her head at her granddaughter’s energy. “You know how I get around the full moon,” Ruby added quietly.

“It’s fine,” Emma assured her, even though her voice was slightly strained. Despite her friend’s lithe form, few would guess that both she and her grandmother were members of the local pack of apex predators: werewolves.

(To say Emma had grown up around the supernatural was an understatement. Maybe that was why the two of them got on so well, even if they probably shouldn’t have.)

“But once that’s past, we HAVE to have a girls’ night, okay?” she continued, gushing and taking Emma’s hands in hers. “Oh, I’m just so glad you’re here!”

“Ruby, I’m not paying ya to block the door from the paying customers!” Granny shouted before Emma could reply.

“Granny, we both know you won’t let me pay,” Emma threw back, teasing.

“Well, maybe this is the day I do!” The old lady was known for her fierce temper and penchant for orneriness; but just like any she-wolf, she was also fiercely protective of those in her pack, both the ones who actually were and the ones she’d decided were.

Emma and Ruby both just rolled their eyes, still holding hands in the entryway, when she heard the clearing of a familiar voice.

“Ruby, are you trying to hog my sister?” David, ever the big brother, was standing there with his arms crossed, trying to give a stern look that they all knew was forced.

“Yup,” Ruby threw back without missing a beat. “I’m taking her home and locking her in my house, so she’ll be all mine!”

“That’s creepy, Rubes,” Emma protested, but David spoke over her.

“Oh? And what would your new girlfriend say about that?”

Emma’s jaw dropped and Ruby looked ironically sheepish. “Ruby! You didn’t tell me!” Emma scolded, lightly shoving her friend’s shoulder.

“I was getting there…” she answered. “It’s not the sort of thing you say over text!”

Emma was going to challenge that, but Granny cut them all off. “Ruby! Let that poor girl sit down and make her some food!”

“I’ll tell you later,” she said quickly, then dashed to the kitchen in her impractical red high heels.

“Aha, my plan worked; I have you all to myself!” David proclaimed, tugging Emma into a headlock.

“Seriously?” Emma complained, though it was muffled by her brother’s ridiculously muscled arm, covered as always in plaid flannel (today, it was blue; she was pretty sure he owned the full spectrum). “Aren’t we too old for this?”

“Never!” he answered, and started tugging her farther into the diner. “Come on, there’s someone I want you to meet.”

“You’re gonna have to let go of me, you know.”

“Nah.”

She could at least tell that they were near the end of the counter, where she and David almost always sat. She still couldn’t see a damn thing and the way David was pulling her was starting to put a strain in her side, but he didn’t seem to care.

“Emma, meet Killian; he’s new in town. Killian, this is my sister, Emma.”

Blindly, Emma held out her hand, hoping the yet-to-be-seen stranger would take it. “Nice to meet you!” she called out from the confines of her brother’s grip.

Moments later, warm, rough fingers lightly gripped hers, followed by the sound of a sinfully accented voice. “The pleasure is all mine, milady.” And then she felt soft lips on the back of her hand.

Holy crap, who was this guy? Did David tear him out of a Jane Austen novel or something? Granted, that wasn’t a power she was aware of anyone wielding, let alone her brother, but damn.

(Another question would be, “why do you even care about a guy you haven’t even seen?”, but Emma was really too stunned by their thus-far incredibly brief interaction to give that much thought.)

Enough was enough; she couldn’t breathe and David’s shirt smelled like the vet office he worked in. And she was also kind of super curious to see what this guy looked like.

Thankfully, David didn’t put up a fight when she pulled his arms off of her, and only whined a little bit when she smacked him in the chest. Then she turned to this Killian guy, and it was like time stood still.

Killian was easily the most beautiful man she'd ever seen. High cheekbones and long, thick lashes framed the bluest eyes she'd encountered, and gingery scruff canvassed a jaw chiseled from stone; a dark thatch of chest hair teased from the unbuttoned vee of a shirt just tight enough that little was hidden of his built upper body; and tousled dark hair hung artfully in his face while his perfect full lips smirked at her, cutting a dimple into his cheek.

The only thing she could think was that there was no way someone so attractive was human. (But she found herself eagerly hoping he was.)

“Emma; earth to Emma.” Suddenly, a hand was being waved in front of her face, pulling her out of her gaping—oh, crap, she was actually, full-on open-mouthed gaping at Killian. David was chuckling as she slammed her mouth shut, and she could feel heat rising on her cheeks, making them as bright red as the streaks in Ruby’s hair.

“I think she likes you,” David whisper-yelled to Killian as he took a seat next to him on the last stool.

“I tend to have that effect on people,” Killian answered in the same manner, throwing a poor excuse for a wink her way (but it still made her blush even harder).

Wait—what the hell was going on? She never got her feathers ruffled by a pretty face like this, and David never encouraged it. Regardless of her reaction, this was a setup if she ever saw one, and she wasn’t going to take the bait.

Trying to look cool (and probably failing but whatever), she brushed her hair behind her ears, smoothed her red leather jacket, and slid onto the empty stool next to Killian’s. “So, how the hell did you end up in Storybrooke? There really isn’t much here.”

“Well, there was a job,” he started, with a shrug and a chuckle—a deep, light thing that vibrated through her; she shivered involuntarily. “England didn’t have anything for me anymore and...this seemed like the place to start anew.” His smile didn’t fade, but his eyes softened a bit; she could tell that there was more to it than that, but she was the last person (or whatever she was) on earth to pry. So she kept it light.

“Really? You came here to start over? The US has so many problems right now.”

“So does the UK. Brexit and all.”

“Trump, though.”

“True. You might have that one.”

She was about to ask about his job (and was a little surprised at how quickly they fell into banter) when Ruby was in front of her, with her usual order and a wolfish grin.

“Don’t mind me; just dropping this off and I’ll get out of your feathers.” She cast a glance over at Killian, licked her lips at Emma, and then slunk away nearly as quickly as she’d shown up.

Emma just shook her head; seriously? Five minutes in town and everyone was already shipping her and the new guy? It was almost painful, but then again, that was Storybrooke.

Actually, something was kind of painful—her side. After her first (delicious) bite of grilled cheese, she set it down to stretch out, holding her arm over her head as she did.

“Are you taking up ballet now?” David teased. “Trying to learn some grace, finally?” Sometimes, he was such a big brother.

“Ha ha. No. We both know that's not possible,” Emma scoffed back. It really was ironic how clumsy she was, all things considered, but she didn’t think that had anything to do with this. “I think you pulled one of my muscles when you decided to drag me halfway across the diner. Thanks,” she deadpanned, then turned to Killian. “Sorry that you’re caught in the middle of this.”

He waved it off. “I had a brother; I know what it’s like.”

She didn’t linger on the fact that he used past tense, but still asked, “Was he as much of a ridiculous jerk as this guy?”

“Probably worse.”

The three of them fell into a combination of teasing and actual conversation over their meals. They discussed the differences between where he’d lived on the English coast and life here on the other side of the Atlantic. He explained that the proximity to the ocean was part of what drew him to their quiet little seaside town. For a moment, the mention of the sea sent up some Neal-related red flags, but then the conversation drifted into books and she forgot about it. That was his job—he’d taken the assistant librarian position in town, and was training to run things while the head librarian, Belle, went on a sabbatical to travel. And she catalogued the impressed, almost aroused way he arched an eyebrow when he found out she was a bounty hunter.

“You certainly strike me as a tough lass,” he observed, smirking wryly. “Remind me not to cross you.”

“Don’t skip your bail and we’ll be fine,” she teased back. “I’d hate to have to press that pretty face against the wall as I’m cuffing you.” She immediately blushed; she only ever flirted like that when she actually was trying to nab a skip—it had been years since she meant it.

He grinned, a devilish thing. “If you want to get close to me, you only have to ask. No need to use a hypothetical crime as an excuse.”

“Guys, I’m right here,” David protested, but his immediate smirk in Ruby’s direction told her that he really didn’t mind that much. (And honestly, it was kind of payback for all the sickeningly sweet scenes she’d been forced to witness between him and Snow over the years.)

Despite her embarrassment, she couldn’t hold back the smile that took over her features. She attempted to hide it in her last onion ring, but caught Ruby grinning at her from the kitchen. So she hid behind a napkin instead, clearing her face of any potential crumbs and—wait, why did she care? It wasn’t like she was looking to date him or anything….right?

Oh, but it was so fun flirting with him.

He’d returned his focus to the few remaining fries on his plate (“chips,” he called them), and she noticed his brow furrow as he rubbed at his chest.

“Oh, I should have warned you; Granny’s will give you heartburn if you’re not careful.”

“I heard that!” Granny shouted from the far back of the kitchen; of course she did, wolf hearing and all.

He chuckled. “I’ll remember that next time.” The weight of “next time” hung over them as they shared somewhat coy half-smiles; normally, she’d refute anything further, but something told her she couldn’t avoid Killian if she tried.

Just when she’d worked up the nerve to give Killian her number—even though something told her David had already put it in his phone—said older, annoying brother broke the moment. “Killian, don’t you have to get back to work?”

His eyes grew wide and flashed to the clock on the wall. “Oh, bloody hell, yeah,” he cursed, jumping up off the stool. He tugged some cash out of his back pocket (which Emma couldn’t help but watch; it turned out that he had an incredibly attractive back pocket), threw it on the counter, and grabbed a black leather jacket from where it had fallen on the floor.

“It truly was a pleasure, Emma,” he said as he slipped it on, giving her a genuine smile. “Until next time.”

“You too,” she replied, almost breathlessly, and then watched as he said “Later, mate,” to Dave and headed out the door. (She may have once again taken the opportunity to admire his back pockets, and everything they held.)

Once he was gone, she swiveled around on her stool to glare at David. “What the hell was that?” she demanded, but David answered by taking a massive bite of his tuna melt and studying the ceiling tiles.

She knew this game, though, and continued to stare at him while she munched on her onion rings. No way was he getting out of this conversation.

Dramatically, he swallowed and then feigned looking at his watch. “Oh, man, the time. That’s my lunch break; I better—”

“You better explain why you were simultaneously trying to set me up,” she commanded, putting her hand on his shoulder to keep him in place, and then added with a confused tilt of her head, “but also not?”

“You noticed that, huh?” he replied, scratching the back of his neck self-consciously.

“Did you honestly think I wouldn’t?”

“Think, no; hope—maybe?”

She just shook her head. “God, you sound just like—”

“Emma!” Speak of the devil, there she was; the shout of her name pulled her attention to the door, where David’s wife Snow had just arrived. Although, there was absolutely nothing satanic about Snow—in fact, she was quite the opposite: in addition to her pure-sounding name (her parents were definitely hippies), she practically exuded rainbows, unicorns, and all things angelic. (As far as Emma knew, she wasn’t actually an angel, but she wouldn’t be surprised to be proven wrong.)

Even the sun behind her made a halo in Snow’s pixie-cut hair as she practically ran across the diner. “Ah, I’m so glad you made it!” she basically shouted in Emma’s ear as she attacked her with a hug. “You’re supposed to text me these things, you know?”

“Yes, I know, Mom,” she answered, putting emphasis on the title; Snow might be her sister-in-law, but half the time, she acted more like a parent. But a parent you could get drunk with. “I was going to, but I went to Cruella’s first to find out about the job, and then got distracted here by a couple of fledgling matchmakers.”

Snow pulled back wearing a look of recognition, and turned to David. “Oh, was Killian here?”

“Ugh, I should have known you were in on it, too,” Emma grumbled, leaning back against the counter. “I expect this from you; but now you’re dragging David into it?”

“It was his idea!” Snow protested.

“Seriously?” Emma complained, and both ladies turned to him, but he was once again conveniently too interested in his meal to answer.

So Snow launched into an explanation. “A few weeks ago, he said, and I quote, ‘Don’t you think Emma and Killian would make a cute couple?’ I told him that neither of you would really appreciate being set up, but agreed that I could totally see it. And several times since then, he’s said he can’t wait for your next visit so he can introduce you two and, again, I quote, ‘watch the sparks fly’.”

David choked down his sandwich to throw back at Snow, “Okay, but you’re the one who said they’d have pretty babies.”

Now Snow was the one acting embarrassed. “It was just a hypothetical!”

Ruby was surreptitiously taking away her empty plate, but Emma always had a sixth sense where she was concerned, probably because of Ruby’s predator status. “And what’s your excuse?” she enquired.

“I just think you need to get laid, and Killian is sex on legs, so you better effing tap that.” She didn’t even bat an eye, giving her confident response and then taking the dishes back to the kitchen.

“You guys, seriously,” Emma whined, physically facepalming. She knew they meant well and just wanted to see her happy with someone. But they also all knew why she wasn’t keen on that idea, given what had happened with Neal. At least no one had brought up the “S” word; soulmates were a big deal to Snow, since she and David were, but she’d long since stopped trying to sign Emma up for a soulmate-finder service.

(She’d never admit it, but sometimes, when she watched her brother and sister-in-law’s relationship and thought of their matching marks—his a snowflake, hers a shepherd’s crook—she did truly long for the kind of companionship and support that they gave each other.

But then Neal’s words—Who could love someone like you?—would trickle back in, and she’d quickly give up that line of thinking.)

Her complaints apparently didn’t stop Snow from whispering to Dave, “So, how did it go?”

“Answer that and die,” Emma interrupted, still holding her face in her hand.

She could almost hear Snow’s grin. “That’s all the answer I need, I think.” Emma just groaned and pushed herself off the counter to standing.

“Well, I’m gonna head out before you start wasting your time planning a wedding that will never happen.” Snow looked like she was about to protest, so Emma cut her off. “I’ve gotta do some reconnaissance for my job, but then I’ll be back at your place by dinner, okay?”

“Okay,” Snow conceded, sounding almost defeated. Emma hated doing that to her but her friend had an overactive imagination; it was always best to put a stop to things before her dreams regarding Emma’s love life got out of hand.

“Alright; see you later.”

Later that evening, Emma was curled up on the bed in her childhood room. David had inherited the house and the sheep farm that they grew up on after his mother (and Emma’s adoptive mother) passed away, so she always had a place when she came to Storybrooke. Despite what it may have seemed based on the warm reception earlier, she did actually make it home fairly regularly; this trip was just a bit out of her typical once-every-few-months schedule.

After figuring out where she’d best be able to do surveillance out by Cruella’s—in other words, where she could park near the water and not get noticed or caught in the tide—she’d headed back here for dinner and some Netflixing before they all went to bed. Emma wasn’t all that tired yet, though, so she was reading an old, worn out collection of fairy tales. Even if her life would never be one, she always enjoyed the stories and guessing at which ones were real. Though with this specific book—by Hans Christian Anderson—she’d never been able to decide.

The alarm on her phone went off at 10:50, startling her from her reading (and her musings on just how much of her life resembled The Ugly Duckling). The familiar tune of Tchaikovsky’s Swan Lake played out of the tiny iPhone speaker, letting her know, like it always did, that she had 10 minutes to figure things out. A quick glance at her weather app told her it was supposed to be a dry, if cool, night; but she’d be fine out there.

Quietly, she headed outside and down the well-worn path to the pond on the farm. Her phone read 10:55, so she walked a bit quicker to get there on time.

An ancient-looking but incredibly solid dock jutted out into the pond, and at the end, a less-old but still worn box was built in. Emma’s footsteps thudded as she hurried to it, and she flipped open the makeshift cabinet. As quickly as she could, she pulled off everything she wore (eternally grateful for the relative privacy of the farm) and threw it in, dropping her phone on top of the pile. 10:59.

She’d just closed the lid and stood up straight when she felt it: the familiar tingle that started in her spine and spread. In the near-full moon, the merman-shaped mark on her right side stood in stark contrast to her pale skin. Her hand pressed down on it; she never really paid it much thought nowadays, but it was odd that the muscle she’d strained earlier was directly beneath it.

The tingling feeling intensified, just like it did every night; by now, she had this whole thing down exactly.

Her lone graceful move was this: she raised her arms overhead as feathers covered her skin and flowed down from her limbs to make wings. Then, she took a running leap off the end of the dock, gliding on those wings for a brief moment as her neck lengthened, her legs shortened, her nose and mouth became a beak, and her whole body rearranged itself.

When it was done and that tingling feeling stopped, she smoothly landed on the surface of the water—as a swan.

Thanks for reading! Stay tuned for more, and let me know what you thought! Tagging some friends who might like it: @kat2609 @thesschesthair @optomisticgirl @fergus80 @xpumpkindumplingx @shipsxahoy @selfie-wench @mryddinwilt @cocohook38 @annytecture @wingedlioness @stubble-sandwich @fairytalesandtimetravel @word-bug @pirateherokillian @bleebug @its-imperator-furiosa @queen-mabs-revenge @flipperbrain @laschatzi @ive-always-been-a-pirate @jscoutfinch @nfbagelperson @lenfaz @phiralovesloki @athenascarlet @ilovemesomekillianjones @whimsicallyenchantedrose @snowbellewells @jackieorioncat

#cs ff #cssns #cs soulmates au #swan!emma #something in the water #my ff

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inventors-fair · 2 years ago

Text

X Marks the Spot: Commentary

Hello everyone!! @loreholdlesbian here. I must say, I am ex-tremely disappointed with the lack of hydras. There were only 2 out of 25, not even 10% of entries (8%, if you want to be ex-act). Okay not really. I do like hydras, don’t get me wrong, but y’all made some ex-cellent cards and I like the diversity on display here.

Now, onto something a little more serious. I know I’m rather slow with commentary, I can be slow with a lot of stuff I have to do, putting it off til the last minute, and the fair doesn’t really have too much in the way of “last minutes” which amplifies the issue. But know that commentary is always coming, even if not as soon as you like. And I really appreciate how patient y’all have been with this. I just struggle with ex-ecutive function. (I’d say I’m sorry for that pun, but I’ll be real, I’m not.)

Now, let’s get on with the reason this post ex-ists!!

Exacting Mentor by @wolkemesser

Oh this seems cool! This is exactly the kind of card a deck running a bunch of X spells wants. It helps you get your X spells a little bigger, and it stops your opponents from countering stuff you pumped a bunch of mana into. Sounds great! I think this should be limited to only spells and not abilities, for the sake of simplicity. For one thing, as far as I know the rules don’t even support granting split second to activated abilities, so they’d need to be changed to accommodate that and idk how that’ll work. And I think the second ability is too vague for the rules’ liking, and would need to be split into to separate abilities for spells and abilities. So I think it would be better just to keep this as spells. Other than that though, this seems great!

Resmigan, the Last Hope by @piccadilly-blue

I think Liliana might try to sue her for copyright violation, so she better get a good lawyer. And by good I mean zombie resistant. I like the use of creatures as a limiting factor for that X, since it could otherwise get out of hand pretty quickly. I think the first abilities could also do with some tap symbols though. Being able to sac a bunch of lands for a bunch of cards and a bunch of life may make it a bit too difficult to deal a finishing blow, but it also puts whoever plays her in a position where they may have difficulty winning as well, without enough lands.

Vicar of Pathosis by @yd12k

This is a great use of Germs. So far we’ve only seen them used as part of living weapon, but I think this is another great use of the design space for 0/0 tokens. I think I would cut the compleated mechanic here though. The use of germs already makes it feel plenty phyrexian, and I don’t think it really adds much to this card. For the most part this is gonna be hanging back and not putting itself in danger and letting your germs do all the work anyway, so the -1/-1 counter doesn’t really affect how this plays at all. It doesn’t really make for an interesting choice, the cheaper option is probably the better one 99% of the time.

The Grand Heist by @allie

This is some excellent flavor, top tier. You get a man on the inside, and then you pull off a big heist. It’s great. I’m not sure if Citizen is the right creature type for this though? Maybe rogue would be more appropriate? I also don’t love that this randomly hoses citizen (or rogue) tribal decks, but I think since that’s not the main point of the card it’s an acceptable loss.

Mortal Coil by @little-red-rabbit

I think this is just a few too many degrees of complicated, it makes it a bit hard to parse and makes the math and decision making really difficult. I think this card would do a lot better if it was simpler. Maybe cut the “up to X targets” for one thing? And the second mode is also quite odd here. It synergizes with the first, but it uses X in quite an odd way that you wouldn’t expect, and the out-of-placeness adds to the confusingness of the card.

X’s Accelerant by @squeezyboi

Although it technically works in the rules, this feels much more like an uncard than a black-border card, which probably was the point given that it’s named after a character from Unstable. And that’s fine, generally, that’s an entirely reasonable choice to make. But it’s not great for the Fair, cause it makes it difficult to really judge it on the same axis as other entries. Like, as a game piece I think this card is hampered by trying to fit a bunch of ex-words onto it, it loses cohesiveness. It has exalted, you’re exerting creatures, it’s protection, it’s removal. It’s a bit all over the place. But it’s quite powerful too, as a piece of removal, I think. And having this untapped is a great deterrent to attacking, since you can tap it to get rid of whatever they attacked with next time they untap.

Durzoth, Abyssal Librarian by @misterstingyjack

This card is weirdddd. Not bad, I quite like it in fact, it just cares about a very odd thing. I like that you committed to that bizarreness with the flavor of this. I like how you’re rewarded for revealing more cards, since you have more likelihood of hitting something more expensive, but you also care about what you’re revealing and pay more attention to it; it’s not just reveal as many cards as you can. It’s a little odd having two unrelated instances of X on one card, but it’s not unheard of and I don’t think there’s a better way to do this.

Waker of Giants by @beandra99

A manadork is a great card to put an X reward on, since it’s exactly the kind of card that deck wants, so it can get x to be higher. The only thing I’m not sold on is this particular execution. It seems a bit odd to have an ability tap for multiple mana, and then increase X even further beyond that. I might prefer some other benefit, like “you gain X life” or something. Or alternatively, maybe have it tap for CCCC that can only be spent on X costs. Cause that’s the other thing that feels a little weird about this. The first ability, T: Add G, feels a bit useless when you have a second mana ability that can add CC. Two mana is likely gonna be the better option, especially since you already have at least one source of G to be able to cast this. So I’d either cut the first ability, or limit the second to exclusively Xs. (And I think four CCCC, or two and increase by 2 to X like you have here, is just a bit too much for three mana, since Rosheen Meanderer does it at four.)

Boros Masterstroke by @hiygamer

I think this is just a bit too decision-paralysis-y. You have a bunch of options in what modes to choose, since you have 4 modes, can choose the same mode more than once, so even at X=2 it offers more choices than a command, and at higher levels of X it’s even more choices. And each mode offers choices as well, in what to target. Which means it’s very difficult to analyze the best way to use this. I think it could do with some simplification.

Magnitude Eshal by @hypexion

This feels like it’s pushing the wrong direction for X cards. To make good use of this card, you want to have a lot of X-permanents out, and to do that you’re gonna have to invest less mana in each one so you can do more per turn. Which means you don’t get to do the fun thing with X spells, and go really big. But if you don’t do that, this isn’t really all that good.

Peak Hydra by @pocketvikings

Firstly, I gotta give you credit for the pun. That’s good stuff. Now onto the rest of the card- i’m not sure I love just how red this is. I like cards with an off-color reward, but I don’t think those rewards work as well when they’re a scaling effect like this. This card asks you to play as many mountains as you can- this is a card for a red deck that just barely splashes green. If it was multicolored and cared about mountains and forests indiscriminately that would be great, or if it had a more simple on/off bonus, but I don’t think scaling works well for most off-color rewards.

Pestilent Omen by @grornt

This is a very neat design, but I think it’s just a good bit too efficient. This should probably cost like, three mana. It’s a board wipe that is very easy to tailor to your advantage, and has lifeloss as an added bonus as well. Other than changing the mana cost though, this is great, and seems very fun to play with. Well, maybe “fun” isn’t the right word for this style of card, it’ll probably get a lot of people salty, but I would love to play it at least lol.

Guildpact’s Verdict by @izzet-always-r-versus-u

Mechanically, I have no issues, this seems like a sweet control card with some very interesting angles of attack and ways to work around it. I like it. Flavorfully though, I’m not sure about ravnica. Looking at how this fits into an environment, I think something like Alara might work better. With ravnica, the most you’re looking at is X=2; ravnica sets don’t have much in the way of multicolored cards above that. Alara though, has not only three color cards but a good number of five color cards. I think the variety there makes the play of this card more interesting, so it would make more sense in an alara set (or at the very least in a three color set, which won’t be ravnica).

Sana, the Sunheart by @deg99

Oh this is a very neat design!!! I don’t know if it’s especially strong, in fact you might even be able to get away with it at only 2 mana, but it’s definitely neat. It feels very white, and it’s a good place to add card draw since this works well in a deck that wants to go more long. One other thing I might change though is to limit the card draw to just a little higher than it is currently. Maybe, if X>=3 or so (cutting the “X can’t be 0” thing) just to make it a litttttle bit more of a goal to reach.

Famine Grips the City by @helloijustreadyourpost

We’ve never seen an X saga, but I don’t see why we couldn’t? Unless there’s some weird rules interaction like how it used to be that ETB effects couldn’t check the value of X, maybe there’s something that prevents loyalty abilities from triggering. But if there is, that’s dumb and I don’t see why this shouldn’t be able to exist. I like how everything plays into itself, though what I don’t completely love is how it kindof half taps down small creatures that you didn’t even target, since your opponent knows the second ability is coming and can plan around it. This is almost never gonna kill something that you didn’t tap down with the first ability. And maybe that’s fine? I’m not completely sure how to feel about it tbh. I’m also not sure if the milling in the final chapter adds much, I’m leaning toward no. I really like this, and the way one effect leads to the next, I’m just having a bit of trouble judging it without seeing how it plays for myself.

Planar Maze by @ghoulcaclulator64

I like an O-ring effect with vanishing X, that’s a very solid place to start. And I think you’re right that this effect wants something a little extra. I’m less sure about the specific upside you chose, it feels kinda arbitrary, and I don’t love that this exacerbates the inherent weakness of o-ring effects by hurting you even more if it gets removed. Honestly, I might go with a simpler “You gain X life” or something as part of the ETB trigger. And this could probably be uncommon realistically, you have to pump a good bit of mana into it before it becomes good removal.

Overflowing Malice by @minopug

This is a very easy mistake to make and I won’t hold it against you, but when you’re doing a text submission don’t forget the rarity! Other than that minor quibble, I like this a lot! A lot of the “choose X” designs, while cool, have a bit too much going on in the decision-making side of things. I like that here, the only real choice is “what modes do I want” and, in multiplayer, “who do I want to target”. This seems a lot easier to process. I’m a big fan of this design. Very black, feels terrible to get hit with. What’s not to love?

Prismatic Realization by @nicolbolas96

So the modes here are a) one blue mana to draw a card, b) three mana draw three, or c) WUBRG: Draw 5. Each of these alone is decent (the middle one being quite good), and the flexibility is extremely solid. I worry that, all put together, it’s just too efficient. It’s a much better painful truths for one thing, which is already a decent card. And the kind of deck this encourages is mainly just five color good stuff. Maybe this could make it as a modern horizons card? But I feel like this is a bit too strong and flexible to made.

Ledgerbound Legionnaire by @starch255

This is normally the kind of card I wouldn’t like. It’s a very specific hate effect, with a gimmicky flavorful exception. It feels like the kind of card that’s more meant to be read than played. But for some reason, I don’t mind this like I would for a lot of similar cards. Idk. It feels built around a punchline, the X=10 roman numeral thing, but it also seems like it does actually play well. Hating on x spells is a very specific niche, but I don’t think it’s an unreasonable one to exist in, and allowing X=10 is an incredibly specific exception that’s not likely to come up much, but when you have a deck that plans to cast an x spell for a whole lot of mana I like that if you get up to enough mana, you still have a chance to use your spell. This is a neat card!! It’s not the kind of design I usually like but i just do!

I’ll see you all shortly! In ex-actly three hours, in fact.

#mtg #magic the gathering #custom magic card #inventors' fair #commentary #x marks the spot contest

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very-very-witchy-blog · 6 years ago

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(Un)Lucky Seven: the path of the Elements

Extending the topic of numerological sevens in tarot let us see how it get's affected by the Elements. But before we proceed let's first clarify what those elements stand for.

Wands (Fire) is the path of action. It's unpredictable and wild. It's passionate and sexy. It's masculine. Fire is responsible for our determination, strength, and ambition. It defines how we deal with our problems. It lets us see what's really important to us. The shadow sides of this element are lack of direction, impulsiveness.

Cups (Water) is the path of feelings and creativity. Emotions, the same as water, can be soft, gentle and calm. They can as well be forceful. This suit represents how we deal with our relationships, especially those deeply personal ones, it stands for our emotional level of consciousness.

Swords (Air) stand for wisdom. The air element can be refreshing, it also can bring damages and suffer, while still remaining unseen. It's our intellect, sharp as a sword, it can be used both for good or evil. The shiny side of it is being able to deal with conflicts, realizing own power to make changes, while the dark one is lack of comparison, depression, judgment, and anger.

Pentacles (Earth) stand for material aspects of life. It's grounded, stable and pragmatic. It makes sure we have a proper soil so we can grow everything we need to feel complete. It teaches us to accurately take care of this soul so it can generously fruit. The suit of Pentacles also mirrors the situations in all the aspects of our outer life. When out of balance, this element might also show us it's shadow side - being overly materialistic, possessive, cold-hearted or even cruel.

Let's see how these elements combine with the number of 7.

Traditionally, Pagan tarot showing all in more calm, supportive way, while the characters of Zombie deck seem to be really stressed.

7 of Wands

Zombie Tarot: We see a man under zombie attack. He just finished dealing with one, and here comes another. It's the metaphor of the person dealing with challenges. Standing up for own ideas and beliefs and not letting anyone move you from the chosen path.

Pagan Tarot: We see quite a calm scene of a woman working on some project. There is a man next to her gently holding her shoulder with one hand, and pointing on something in the paper with his second one. It has a spirit of cooperation, sharing knowledge or even mentoring. It stands for projects, mutual work, trust, sharing knowledge, understanding.

7 of Cups

Zombie Tarot: This woman's had is about to explode from the number of thoughts and choices she has. But decisions need to be made. This is a stressful process. No more time to dream about possibilities, no more build castles in the air. Time to consider your options and make your mind.

Pagan Tarot: This card shows the woman in the meditation position. She's surrounded with 7 candles, which make a magic circle around her. We can also see the attributes of magic inside of this circle. The arc above her had is made of 7 chalices, each of them filled with own symbol. The woman is in her calm state. This card stands for creativity, dreams, looking for the answers, spiritual development. It also stands for asking questions and hearing the answers. Beware of getting carried away by illusions.

7 of Swords

Zombie Tarot: On the contrary to Pagan tarot, where the main heroine was sort an intruder herself, here we see a woman protecting her house from the zombie invasion. This is a clear signal of sabotage and deception. This may also mean being in opposition to the whole group of people. Don't be afraid to protect your own interests.

Pagan Tarot: A girl dressed as a tourist seems to be snooping around. She sees a tent, a fire, a set of magical attributes. She's not completely sure of this situation. She's trying to decide whether she wants to make the step towards the unknown. She has to be careful tho, as the only weapon she has is the wand in her hands. This card stands not only for trying the new things but also for understanding the situation as well as your strengths and weaknesses in the context of it.

7 of Pentacles

Zombie Tarot: We see a scientist monitoring the process of teaching a zombie to deal with a human (on the example of a doll). Things are not working quite well yet, but the scientist is persistent. We may assume here that regular analysis and fixing things that didn't go correctly are going to bring him to the goal. A card of patience, determination, and progress.

Pagan Tarot: We see a woman making a ritual over the dry plant. She's completely concentrated. The whole image is still, calm yet determined. This card stands for picking the fruits of our day to day work. It's a card of concentration, hard work, taking care of those who are weaker than us. At the same time, it says that only the work we have a heart for is able to bring the concrete results.

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amplesalty · 3 years ago

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Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)

If I can make it there, I’ll make it anyhwere...

We’ve just had another Friday the 13th so it’s time to dust off the old slasher franchise for my ongoing attempts to make it all the way through the series. Let’s see where we left off last time, 6? Well, that’s not strictly true. I did watch 7 last November but never bothered posting about it. Which, I probably should have done because for once it actually bucked the trend with these movies and I actually kinda liked it? Just try to imagine ‘Jason vs Carrie’ and that’s basically it. Kinda takes the whole thing in a slightly different direction which is a welcome change after so many chapters of ‘Jason stabs camp councilors...again’. Maybe I’ll revisit it in more detail some time.

This movie isn’t quite that far out with it’s gimmickry there’s definitely an element of that with swapping the shoes of Crystal Lake for the neon lights of Manhattan. At least, that’s what the title of the movie would have you believe. It doesn’t exactly play out that way though.

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The opening of the movie seems to be going that way as it takes you on a guided tour around the dark city streets, with steaming sewer vents, shady alleyways complete with muggings, subway rides, diner coffee orders and a shot of Times Square. It’s all set to the stylings of Metropolis and ‘The Darkest Side of the Night’. I dig the song, has a very 80’s rock vibe to it, like something by Survivor that you’d get in a Rocky movie but it just seems a little out of place here.

Wait a minute, is that the Batman symbol?! Forget Jason vs Carrie, give us Jason vs Batman. Don’t tell me DC wouldn’t go for that, they seem more than happy to license out the Caped Crusader. I mean, we did just have crossover movies with Scooby Doo and the Ninja Turtles in recent years.

The requisite awakening of Jason takes place, this time jolted into life by the 1.2 gigawatts of electricity running through an underwater cable next to his watery grave. From there, we bumps off a couple of kids making whoopee in a house boat before stowing away on board as the boat slowly drifts into port where a high school pleasure cruise is about to set sail.

And it’s here that the bulk of the movie takes place which...isn’t the worst idea in the world? Would have that same sort of idea behind Alien where you’re trapped on board with this killer, not quite as extreme since there are some ways off a ship if need be. The movie touches on it to a degree, there’s a sense of paranoia and claustrophobia that develops but it doesn’t feel fleshed out.

You could throw in a sort of moral element to it, like the characters coming to terms with there being no escape and no way to eliminate Jason so they ponder whether to destroy the ship and sacrifice themselves so Jason doesn’t make it to land. Then you have the obvious sequel bait of him actually surviving and finding himself a whole host of new victims.

It just feels like a bait and switch. Just look at the poster, how awesome is that? You’ve got one of the most iconic skylines in the world and home to some of the tallest and most famous buildings but yet Jason looms over each and every one of them. And the subtitle ‘Jason Takes Manhattan’ conjures up all these images in your head of Jason rampaging through the streets like when the T-Rex gets loose in San Diego in The Lost World. I guess ‘Jason Goes Boating’ doesn’t have quite the same ring to it. Jason being in the big city is a novel concept which hasn’t really been explored in the series up to now. Sure it starts to move away from just being confined to the camp grounds but it’s still a pretty rural area so to go to this level of widespread panic would be interesting.

At first I thought the movie might be trying to be a ‘best of both’ worlds and the ship section was just to explain how he gets to the big city. It kinda gives that impression the way it starts rattling off all the people on board and starts killing them off quicker than it can introduce them. This one rock chick is in all of two scenes and the second one is her death. They’re characters done with very broad strokes so it feels they’re doing the bare minimum to give you some context before Jason kills them off, just to keep the pace up before we get to the real meat and potatoes of the action in the big city. It’s almost like The Breakfast Club with all the stereotypes we have on show; the jock, the nerd, the beauty queen...

We even get elements of the controlling father of EMILIOOOOOO’s character with young Sean Robertson who’s own father is the ships captain and seems quite keen on Sean taking up the family business. Are you not taking things a little too seriously to be in full naval uniform and ribbons for the sake of some exaggerated high school graduation party?

And don’t forget basket case Rennie who has visions of a young Jason drowning. Except, her dog spends this scene looking at the port hole in a very worried manner as well before getting freaked out and running away so apparently he has these visions too?!

Rennie clearly isn’t too popular amongst her peers as the bitchy, popular girl promptly hip checks her off the deck, sending her flying through the air and into the icy waters below. Have the people who made this ship not heard of a guard rail?

I’m not sure what the deal is with Rennie and all these weird visions she has, like blood coming out of a tap or young Jason bursting through the mirror and gooziling her. The movie never really explains what the link is between the two of them, at most it seems to be this mutated childhood trauma where she nearly drowned, mixed with warnings she had back then that she needed to learn to swim lest she end up drowning like that Jason Vorhees boy. It’s just like the puritan origins of those urban legends, clearly all along Jason Vorhees was just a means of scaring kids into taking water safety seriously.

Still, as unexplained as it is, it still adds some enjoyable moments to the movie and I’ll gladly take the writers throwing a bunch of weird shit at the wall to see what sticks over some of the earlier movies.

I love the moment when the core group of survivors eventually make it off the ship, taking refuge in the life boat, rowing day and night to try and find some sort of sanctuary before eventually seeing a torch on the horizon; that of Lady Liberty. One of the most iconic images in human history, a great symbol of hope to the tired, poor and huddled masses yearning to breathe free that made their way to her shores. Like those that came before them across the seas, finally their nightmare is over.

Or, at least it is for all of about five minutes before they get promptly mugged by two street urchins. Not just muggers mind you, given that they usher Rennie away with disturbing plans in mind for her.

Which, say what you will about Jason, he does stop an attempted rape in this movie. Probably not going to tip the karmic scales in his favour after the hundreds of grizzly murders at his hands over the years but still, it’s a start. Plus, this is doubly puritan as this guy injected Rennie with heroin or something so Jason is taking a stand against drugs as well.

We also get one of the characters standing up to Jason on a rooftop and trying to use his boxing skills to good use by giving him a series of right hooks and body blows. Only, Jason has been following the Homer Simpson school of boxing as he just stands there and takes it before the other guy gets too fatigued to carry on. At which point Jason literally knocks his block off like a Rock ‘Em, Sock ‘Em robot and the guys head rolls away into a nearby dumpster which then slams shut in a very satisfying manner.

Rennie and Sean end up in the sewers but need to get out again as the sewer system is about to flood with toxic waste. Lucky that they just have buckets of that lying around that Rennie can just throw in Jason’s face. He then removes his mask in what I can only assume is a loving tribute to The Phantom of the Opera to reveal the mutated freak beneath. Maybe this is another Toxic Avenger origin movie?

Then lightning strikes The Statue of Liberty because...symbolism, I guess?

And Jason succumbs to his one weakness; drowning. Only this time in the aforementioned toxic waste so it’s nice to have a bit of variety. At which point he turns back into child Jason because...I have no idea. Maybe it’s another one of their visions, or they’ve somehow exorcised the demons of zombie ghost Jason and now the spirit of child Jason can rest in peace?

You know what the most amazing thing about this movie is? Other than the fact that Rennie’s dog shows up again at the end because it seems to have the homing skills of one of those animals you read about in the papers who travel across country to their old house, these characters have been through the innards of a manky old ship, been lost at sea for however long, trudged through the shift encrusted sewers and tussled with a decaying monster and still manage to come out without a speck of dirt on them.

Maybe I’ve just been going into these last couple with super low expectations but I’m actually beginning to enjoy them now? Like I said before, I found the old ones really boring so changing up the formula is refreshing and they’re tickling my ‘so bad it’s good’ senses with all the weird shit going on.

Like, amongst all those images in my head of what a Jason in New York movie would be, funny wasn’t one of them but it just seems to really ramp up in this finale. You have individual moments like when a bunch of thugs are listening to music from their boombox which Jason storms past and punts in the air. They don’t too kindly to this, pulling out chains and switchblades to threaten him, to which he calmly lifts up his mask and causes them to flee with their tails between their legs.

But there’s also this broader idea which serves as this sort of amazing anti climax that having Jason turn up in New York is not the cataclysmic event you think it would be. It’s like no one outside of Crystal Lake has even heard of him so no one bats an eyelid when some 7ft behemoth goes by in the street or on the subway at 1am. I mean, who’s going to notice another freak around here? When Sean and Rennie storm into a diner looking for help, their cries of a maniac being on the loose and trying to kill them is met with a rather quizzical look by the waitress who simply replies ‘Welcome to New York...’.

Then Jason bursts through the wall like the Kool Aid man and the cook just shakes his head and walks out to confront him. He does it so nonchalantly as if he’s had to deal with his a hundred times already, like it happens so often that it’s lost all meaning. This whole movie has a pretty damning outlook on this city, maybe the true horror in our lives isn’t playing out on TV or on the big screens of our local cinemas. It’s a call to arms that the true horror is the violence and crime taking place on our city streets every day and the systemic issues going unchecked that give rise to it.

#Friday the 13th #Friday the 13th Part VIII #Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan #Jason Takes Manhattan

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steve0discusses · 7 years ago

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Yugioh S1 Ep 11: All We Had Was This One Sunset Background But Trust Me No One Will Notice Just Act Cool

*~ART NERD RANT ABOUT COLOR THEORY~*

Something I gotta hand to this show is that they have pretty good coloring going on. For those who don’t know the process, when you make an animated feature, they’ll often lay out the storyboards, side by side, and a colorist will draft out the major lighting and colors of each scene. The scenes are shrunk down in this step, so what you see is mostly an abstract shifting of hue to hue, as if the scenes are like beads on a necklace. What you end up with is colors and lighting that alone should tell a story as much as the characters do.

Also bear in mind that there are certain color schemes that this show must stick to episode to episode, especially concerning it’s main characters, so if you decide to put in a crazy neon purple-orange gradient sky, it still needs to work with these greyed out pastels in our main characters. It can be be pretty tricky, and it’s work that goes unnoticed, and I appreciate that while there’s a lot of real weird things going on in Yugioh, the colors are solid.

Although, I’ll be honest with you: it’s a nice background but it is...it is a lot. It’s like when you watch Pride and Prejudice (the Kiera Knightly one) and you don’t notice how everything is shot at the golden hour the first time you watch it. Then later you watch it and it’s like--this is like getting a whole cheesecake for dinner rather than just a dessert. It’s not bad, it’s just that’s a lot of cheesecake.

*~END ART NERD RANT ABOUT COLOR THEORY ALTHOUGH I COULD JUST TALK ABOUT THE COLOR THEORY OF YUGIOH AND NOTHING ELSE FOR LIKE THE REST OF THIS REVIEW~*

Speaking of cheese:

(more under the cut)

The Yugi gang has given up trying to find Mokuba, since while we’ve clarified that they’re very good at falling off of things, they’re maybe not so good at climbing up things--like a castle wall, for instance. So, they decide the best thing to do is to just get enough chips to save one Mokuba, and one soul of Yugi’s grandpa (which I guess he’s just planning to store in a bottle or something, so he can carry it around on his necklace next to to the other soul)

Meanwhile, Mei is enjoying our matte painter’s handiwork who was channeling Thomas Kinkade to fit in almost every color here except for blue (the actual color of a sky). I just want to note that it takes some guts to make your ocean blood red in a kid’s show. Then again, this is Yugioh, and if they didn’t shy away from an actual corpse last episode I guess a romantic blood ocean is fine.

She’s dreaming about Joey, which is a terrible thought and no one woman should have to dream about Joey, but she is dreaming about killing Joey so that’s better, at least. I’ve been thankful for the general lack of romance plots in this show, and while I know such a longstanding show can’t possibly be void of them I just...none of these characters are really attractive, I’ll put it that way.

Which is something that Mei has noticed as well, because her last encounter finally got the nerve to show up and demand some retribution for that time that he got seduced by someone way older than him.

Although I’m starting think...maybe Rex is older than her? It’s very hard to tell, he’s like in between either an aging trucker or a middle schooler who died his hair a very gray shade of purple.

I didn’t think I’d actually like Mei, since I figured she was just there to be some eye candy villain, but her development is kind of interesting. As a girl who plays games I kind of hate the gamer girl trope, since girls are all very different and very unique and shouldn’t be clumped together in one stereotype because they share one hobby. But, Mei doesn’t actually want to dwell on the negatives of being one of the only girls on this island who plays games. Instead, she’s taken her situation and made the most of it, taking the chips from the dumb boys that were picking on her, and then fooling Rex into giving her what she wants for the second time in 24 hours.

It is so random what strings this show decides to tie nicely into a bow, and which they leave hanging. That one-off joke where Mei tricked a guy into loosing his room has now come full circle. How no one else in all these years was able to solve this puzzle necklace except for this extremely short child eh not important yet.

Yugi decides to take a break from dueling, and they walk Joey over to the small-time baby arena, where the easy duelers are: the duelers that aren’t zombies or fish gods or egyptian gods. They honestly should have just started here in the first place.

Yugi is the dictionary definition of “I have a million problems so I’ll solve everyone else’s because I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me” and it is pretty tragic since his version of helping is accidentally using psychic powers without his full control. Personally I’m very much looking forward to to small Yugi finally going full Elsa on us but alas that will be a different episode.

Now I used to think this psychic intervention was the sole reason that Joey was kind of an idiot but this entire episode was devoted to the real reason Joey is a dummy: because he secretly hasn’t solved any of his own problems his whole life because his friends figure he just can’t do it himself.

They’re probably not wrong.

Tristan, who is either 12 or 21 (not sure) seems to be the only person here who realizes they don’t actually have to do anything she says. Like they can just play like normal and it doesn’t have to be to Rex. But Tristan beelined for the weirdest way to approach the situation and so it sort of locked Joey into a tantrum.

I mentioned this before but these kids need an adult. Mei really didn’t have to do anything to get them to start falling apart, and if it wasn’t for Yugi accidentally turning into an adult every other episode they wouldn’t have even managed getting lunch let alone getting here.

So they start the battle, while Tristan runs off in a hissy fit and Tea kinda cheers from the side kinda useless, as she usually does. Meanwhile, this very aggressive sunset is still full force, and it’s starting to look like the Second Coming is rolling out over Isreal in the background but our main characters are like “not right now, Jo, I’m playing cards”

I’m sure there’s more symbolism I could squeeze out of it, about how it’s the sun setting on Joey relying on his friends (although I doubt he will ever stop doing that) or the sun setting on Tristan and Yugi trying to be Joey’s substitute parents (although I doubt they will ever stop doing that) or how it’s supposed to make us think this is the end of Joey’s run in the tournament, but honestly...it’s night time now.

Maybe Tea does have a purpose, as a stand in for Joey’s sister? Tristan literally called Joey his baby, and Yugi’s acting like he’s sent his kid off to kindergarten for the first time. So, her staying behind while Yugi and Tristan brawl it out is like a mini divorce parallel, and kind of weird in this show about cards.

Tristan has to face facts that he doesn’t have enough faith in his proto-son, and needs to go and at least pretend that Joey can win, and be OK if he actually doesn’t win. I see that problem a lot in parents. Just let your kids loose. It’s kinda fun even. Yugi has to face some facts as well but there are too many to list.

But don’t worry, it gets weirder. As Joey is pulling cards from his deck, he sees the card that Tristan gave him at the beginning of the episode. Then, he recalls a memory that is--colorwise: a sweet relief from our very orange-purple sunset but otherwise: ...

What the hell is he doing in this abandoned warehouse!? Joey and his friends go to the same school as a Robber Baron so I have a hard time believing that they also spend their time in warehouses.

But even weirder than Joey deciding to save a very small child in a warehouse from 8 gang members, is that Tristan, smelling that his friend is in danger from miles away has run through the rain, found this abandoned warehouse, and is ready to do a murder on all 8 of those gang members

Well, doesn’t this suck for Mokuba that Tristan can’t duplicate this brute strength now?

And so we end about where we began: Joey uses a card that Tristan put into his deck, as a symbol of their style of friendship where Joey screws up and then Tristan punches people. The duel isn’t over, but the parents are back together, and the writers for Tea breathe a sigh of relief because they had run out of ideas of things that she would say in the absence of everyone else.

Next Week, On Yugioh: Can Yugi actually go 10 minutes without backseat gaming? Will the Sun Ever Set? Does Tristan ever take off that city trench coat in this very thick forest? And, finally, did they even bring camping gear?

#yugioh #anime #recap #photo recap #humor #review #s1 ep 11

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normanandcaliban · 7 years ago

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Demons and Department Stores

Music: “You and Me” by Shallou

“Whoa, dude check this out!” Norman’s voice called to Cal from several aisles down in the department store.

They’d been rummaging through the $5 movie section for the past fifteen minutes trying to find something christmas-y for the annual family Christmas movie marathon. Every year, the Castor household came together the first weekend of December to watch all the classic holiday movies like “The Santa Clause” or “Deck the Halls” or “A Christmas Story.” This year, Norman wanted to find something new to add to the movie collection. It was also Black Friday, which meant their $5 movie was actually closer to a $1 movie. Bonus points for team thrift shop.

Cal’s human-form ears perked up at the sound of his boyfriend’s voice. They tingled and felt slightly uncomfortable due to their unusual small, round shape. He scratched them in irritation. The natural curves of his elongated, pointy, red lobes suited him much better, but he promised Norman he’d remain shifted whenever they were in public since “ordinary humans can’t handle the concept that demons actually exist.” Yet, Cal thought to himself.

Maintaining a human appearance was a pain in the neck and took intense psychological focus to keep up. Any distraction, no matter how slight, could cause his skin tone to shift back to its bright, demonic red or his tail to sprout through his pants, which, by the way, was definitely as painful as it sounded. Most demons his age still struggled to keep basic transformations down, but he wasn’t worried. He was almost five hundred years old and he’d had several centuries of practice maintaining concentration when shifting his physical form. Besides, he was out having a good time with Norman. That’s all that mattered to him right now.

Without taking his eyes off the back cover of a bizarre “Rudolph the Reindeer: Zombie Apocalypse” movie, he called back over his shoulder, “Yeah? What’d you find?” He chuckled as he put the movie back in the bin. He never knew Rudolph could be such a badass, saving the world from mutant elves, armies of undead creatures, and powerful, unholy entities.

He turned to head towards the spot where he last heard Norman’s voice and collided with a middle-aged woman looking at CD’s.

“Oh shit, I’m so s–!” Cal’s eyes widened as he saw the woman’s sharp, blue claws quickly shift back into human form. She frantically checked her surroundings to make sure no one else saw the transformation. Her eyes returned to meet Cal’s with an edgy, apprehensive stare. She readied herself to pounce, as if she was waiting for him to scream or run. If Cal had been human, she likely would’ve silenced him to make sure her secret disappeared along with his body.

Cal cocked an eyebrow at her aggressive stance and shifted his eyes to their true demonic form, giving her a flash of his true identity.

The woman immediately backed down and relaxed, letting out a sigh of relief. “Goodness you sure gave me a fright, deary! If you had been human, I was going to have to call the Collectors to have this mess straightened out.”

The Collectors were a sort of black market “laundry team” that helped demons stay below human radar by cleaning up…accidents. They mostly worked in stain and body removal, but they also worked behind the scenes to position evidence and erase identities.

“It’s not the Collectors you’d have to worry about, ma’am. Work harder at maintaining your appearances or the Department of Earth Affairs will step in to reclaim you.” Cal tried to keep the underlying tones of condescension in voice hidden.

The woman straightened up and quickly hustled away as a confused Norman approached.

“What was that all about?” He asked, holding about twenty shiny, red and green movie cases in his arms and three in his mouth.

Cal scratched his head, “Seems like I’m not the only demon out Christmas shopping in this town.” He noticed the overflow of movies his boyfriend was attempting to carry and took some to lighten the load.

“Seriously?” Norman looked over Cal’s shoulder at the woman in question. She appeared as normal and as human as Cal did now, which meant she must be a shifter too. She grabbed a box from a shelf containing a small, lighted trees and placed it in her shopping cart. Seeing demons actively participate in Christian traditions was both intriguing and confusing. “How is it demons can stand Christmas? Aren’t you supposed to hate all things holy, religious, and God-related?”

Cal’s eyebrows shot up and he burst out laughing. “Well, yeah, as long as you don’t dump a bucket of holy water on me or start an exorcism. But Christmas? Heck no! Giving and receiving gifts is awesome, dude. Think of all the loot you collect!”

Norman thought about the Christmas traditions and realized that some of them didn’t have much religious symbolism. The tree. The gift giving. Santa Claus. The pieces started fitting together in his head, “Oh, so it’s the greed that attracts you to it?”

Cal shrugged, “I guess.”

Norman blushed, realizing he’d been ignorant. “I’m sorry if I’m sounding like a bigot…”

Cal waved it off, “No, no. you’re fine. Your assumption was partially correct. The greed is definitely a huge draw for my kin, but just because we thrive on the vices of humanity doesn’t mean we hate Christmas. We love spending time with the people we care about just as much as humans do. We are creatures of passion after all.”

“I guess that rings true with all of us.” He grabbed Cal’s free hand with his and gave it a squeeze. Cal smiled back at him as they walked to the checkout aisle.

“How did you know that woman was a shifter? Do you have a 6th sense?” Norman asked, changing the subject back to the other demon.

“Oh I bumped into her and she partially shifted back. That happens sometimes if a shifter loses their focus.” He said as they payed for and bagged their movies and walked toward the exit. The cashier had been listening in on their conversation and looked at the two of them like they were a couple of weirdos. He figured they’d been talking about some “Dungeons & Dragons” thing and rolled his eyes at the weird shit young people get into these days.

“Wait, so how does that work? You just focus really hard and stay in your human form?” Norman pinched Cal’s cheek trying to test his concentration to see if his beige skin color would change back to its natural crimson.

Swatting away Norman’s hand, Cal laughed and shook his head, “Yes and no. Focus is definitely key, but so is age. A demon’s power solidifies and matures with age. That’s why young demons are considered more dangerous due to the volatile nature of their abilities. When I was younger, I could barely even hold my tail in, much less my wings.”

“So how old are you then?” Norman realized this was the first time he’d asked about Cal’s age. He felt kinda ashamed for not asking sooner.

“Well, time works differently in my home dimension. There, I’m about twenty-two, but here I’m almost five hundred years old.”

The information took a moment to sink into Norman’s head. His eyes widened when it did, “Whoa, wait WHAT?! You’re FIVE HUNDRED YEARS OLD?!”

Cal raised a sarcastic eyebrow, “Oh come on, don’t tell me you’re honestly surprised that demons have long lifespans.”

Even though Cal was right, Norman had no response. He was still quite astonished at the fact that his boyfriend was currently old enough to be his living 16th-century ancestor. A shudder passed through his body.

Cal wrapped one arm around Norman’s shoulder, pulling him close. A wicked smile curved across his face.

“Kiss me, I’m ancient.”

“Ew, no! Get away from me grandpa.”

“Oh ho! So that’s the type of kinky shit you’re into, huh?” He briefly tickled Norman’s ribcage.

That comment, plus the tickles, earned Cal a soft punch on the arm. “Shut up, you know what I’m into.” Norman pulled Cal in for a kiss.

When they parted, Cal could hardly restrain his curiosity, “And what would that be?” He was pretty sure he knew the answer, but he wanted to hear Norman say it out loud. Norman rested his forehead against Cal’s and stared into the demon’s fiendish eyes.

“You.”

#digital art #shopping #black friday #christmas #cute cartoon couples #gay couple #Norman Castor #Caliban the Demon #rudolph #short story #gay fiction #supernatural fiction #magic #shifters #demons #gay cartoon

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mdwatchestv · 7 years ago

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Game of Thrones 7x07: Look What You Made Me Do

And just like that it's over! This truncated season of seven episodes blew by as fast as a trip from Dragonstone to Eastwatch. I'm still not really sure why this season had to BE only seven episodes, I know the show is intensely expensive, but HBO has the money and why not shell out for three more episodes of their most popular property? Now faced with the prospect of a final season not hitting our little screens until 2019, I feel like a six episode finale is just not gonna cut it. I mean are we even going to make it two more years as a society? I would be super bummed if I had to leave this physical plane without having heard the final chords of the song of ice and fire. Although if the producers want to take the time to think very hard about writing and storytelling, I would not be adverse to that. Let's be real, while this season was full of spectacle, and had plenty to enjoy, the writing was just not up to the par of previous years. Drama that felt natural and earned was shelved in order to rush forward big "show stopping" moments such as Dany and Jon's meeting, ice dragon making, and this past episode's all hands on deck summit in the dragon pit.

Fan theories spiraled wildly out of control in correspondence with the increasingly erratic storytelling on screen. Instead of trying to predict the solution to a complex puzzle-plot, we are now in a time when literally anything can happen, including (but not limited to) Lannister lieutenant Ed Sheeran. Still, were we not entertained? There were absolutely moments this season that will go into the annals of GOT greatness: Arya's Walder Frey Face Swap Massacre, Olenna Tyrell's Final Fuck Off, Loot Train Battle Dragon Destructo-Fest 2k17 to name a few. But the season's writing on a whole often veered into what felt like fan service (or straight up fanfiction). Game of Thrones isn't the first show to do this, but it is the first show to do it that up until this point has been famous for granting essentially the opposite of fan service. Oh you love this strong, glorious, perhaps ridiculously attractive, character? It would be a shame if something were to....happen...to them. But that being said this episode felt a bit more solid than it's immediate predecessor, and while they may not have completely stuck the landing, it was more of a point deduction for some hops rather than a horrifying leg break (did anyone else see that last Olympics? There is not a day that goes by I don't think about it.)

So our merry band of zombie hunters, as well as Brienne and Pod, have all assembled at King's Landing in order to persuade Cersei into a ceasefire. How much time has passed since the zombie capture? Days, weeks? Who knows. What's important is all of our favorites have assembled in a veritable class reunion. Pod is happy to see his old boss Tyrion still in one piece, Bronn is reunited with Pod, and Brienne and The Hound are downright chummy despite Brienne being under the impression she had murdered him during their previous encounter. Time really does heal all. But how much time? That's the true question. For once Jon is not the most popular princess at the party, he didn't fight in the Battle of the Blackwater, and he didn't co-parent a murderous pre-teen. Our group is escorted to the not-at-all-a-trap Dragon Pits where they await Cersei. Bronn and Pod peace out immediately because Bronn don't give a shit and also can't contractually be in the same room as Lena Headey. Ain't love grand.

Cersei is rolling deep (her crew includes Euron thank god), but her entrance is promptly upstaged by Dany flying in on Drogon. Before anything can happen, Euron interrupts the proceedings to call out Theon for, essentially, being a little bitch. It is glorious. Anyway the zombie is produced and runs right at Cersei, where exactly none of the people sworn to protect her do a single goddamn thing. Euron weighs the threat of millions of the undead versus the safety of his little island and peaces HARD. I absolutely loved this reaction and wish it had been genuine. Is Euron my favorite character? Unclear, but strong maybe. Cersei says she will stand down if Jon promises to stay neutral. Jon I Can-Not-Tell-A-Lie Snow/Targaryen of course blabs that he already bent the knee to Dany. No one is impressed by this. Not only is Jon the least popular, he is now also the least liked.

Brienne cements my theory she only made the trip to tje Landing o'Kings to act as Jaime's moral compass, and pleads with him that loyalty to houses is dumb in the face of the current threat. She's not wrong. Later on Cersei will call Jaime the stupidest Lannister, but surely it is Tyrion who proceeds to fall hook, line, and sinker for her hand-on-stomach motivated-by-concern-for-my-baby-change-of-heart routine. Did anyone truly think that Cersei would just...join up with the good guys? That is a "what if" fanfiction summary too ridiculous for even this season of the show to pursue. Cersei is the woman who blew up half her own damn city, she does not have time for Jon Snow and Daenerys Targaryen. Why risk her throne when the zombies will kill these silly children for her? Why risk anything when the Iron Bank subplot has resulted in a whole mercenary army in Essos? Actually speaking of Essos...why doesn't everybody just move over there? Why not just let the Night King HAVE Westeros if he wants it so bad. Like they said, the zombies can't swim and Essos doesn't seem to be physically connected to Westeros in any way. Look I'm just saying.

Back at Dragonstone, it's revealed that Theon actually was impressed by Jon's foolhardy declaration of loyalty. Theon's subplot this season has been understated, but honestly one of my favorites. While he hasn't had the flashiest part in recent seasons Alfie Allen has turned in a consistently subtle and poignant performance in this role. Over the course of the show Theon's journey has been about belonging and finding his worth. This was at times less than subtly symbolized by first his castration (literal/figurative/symbolic/etc) at the hands of Ramsay, and then even less subtly by his reclamation of said "manhood' this episode. But that aside his new side quest to rescue Yara is pleasingly cyclical as he stakes his loyalty to the one person who ever willingly and proudly claimed him as family. Also now that presumably Yara is tied to Euron, who is pivotal to claiming Cersei's mercenary army.... I'm just saying maybe Theon will be able to play the part of hero in the end after all.

Speaking of families coming back together, all is well in Westeros as the Stark Sestras team up to take down Lord Baelish once and for all. Look I am always happy when storylines end in positive female friendship, but I still can't help feeling frustrated with the way this was played out. It is unclear how much time is passing for any of the characters in the show, but at what point did Arya and Sansa realize they were being played? Were any of their public confrontations for show? Surely there would be no point to their private arguments, so at least some of their discord had to have been real. How much, if it at all, were they able to set up Littlefinger in return? Or did they just arrive at their conclusion moments before the mock trial? I admit as an audience member I was fooled, not by clever storytelling, but by total misdirection that robbed us of the satisfaction of seeing these two bright young women begin to think for themselves. Like so many scenes written this season this was another example of a satisfying punchline delivered at the cost of a seemingly reverse-engineered build up.

And as much as I have enjoyed Aidan Gillen's scheming, it was rewarding to see him dispatched at the hands of the women who he spent most of the series attempting to manipulate. Despite his claims otherwise, the only person Littlefinger has ever truly cared about is Littlefinger. Even though the path there was rocky, I look forward to Sansa and Arya's newfound alliance. Arya recognizing what Sansa has been through, and Sansa in turn telling Arya she was the strongest person she knew was a beautiful scene. Both girls have been wearing their hair in styles reminiscent of their parents, and seeing them take on the leadership roles of the previous Lord and Lady of Winterfell was a nice touch.

But not all the show's siblings are getting on, and after threatening Tyrion with death, Cersei is on a roll. Jaime is, for some reason, surprised that instead of keeping her word Cersei has no actual intention of zombie fighting. Jaime has had quite the arc this season, one that has driven him away (perhaps forever) from his twin, lover, and baby mama. As I wrote about previously, Jaime is the archetypal white knight. He is one of the few characters not motivated by greed or self-promotion, but rather a warped familial love.. While he has acted cruelly and cowardly in the past, he is not characteristically cruel or a coward. This season he has witnessed true horror in the form of fiery dragon death, the vengeful Olenna Tyrell, and the true depth of Cersei's darkness. He seems to finally realize that what he perceived as righteous action motivated by true love may have been in service to the wrong side. A Jaime Lannister unmoored from his familial duty is as compelling a wildcard as any, and it will be interesting to watch his journey continue to unfold hopefully in a Northerly direction.

Well, we've come to it. There's nothing left to talk about. Sam and Gilly arrive back at Winterfell just in time for Sam to have an exposition-off with the Three Eyed Arse-Face. Sam proceeds to take credit for Gilly's breaking news, and together with Bran's "vision power" the two explicitly spell out the true nature of Jon's identity. None of their revelations are a surprise to viewers of the show, beyond chiseling 'Aegon Taragaryen" into canon. No, the bigger surprise was that this narration was the voice over to Jon and Dany getting it on on her pleasure yacht. While we heard definitive proof that Dany is in fact Jon's Aunt, we watched their supple bootied bodies writhe around together. What emotion was I supposed to be feeling during this scene? I am honestly asking. Because the emotion I was feeling was void. The absence of feeling. "Jon needs to know." Yeah ya think Bran? With all that you can see you couldn't see that you should have told him this vital, life-altering information just a little bit earlier? Send a goddamn raven since they travel at the speed of light. Jesus Seven Hells Christ.

Also there were many happy romantic flashbacks of Rhaegar marrying Lyanna, but it's super fucked up that Rhaegar ditched his first wife and children to have a SECOND child name Aegon. Like what the fuck is that Rhaegar?? Granted the first Aegon (along with his sister and mother) were horribly murdered by the Mountain, so I guess it was good he decided to make a spare. Oh sorry Jimmy, I decided to have another son with my new wife, who I like more than Mommy, and his name is also going to be Jimmy. If family therapy existed in Westeros, we would probably be in a very different place politically.

Finally, finally we end for with the Night King's arrival at the wall. The new zombie ice dragon is locked and loaded and it BREATHES BLUE FIRE. The blue fire was pretty cool, and I eagerly await it's use in the dragon on dragon throw down that will inevitably occur next season. With the power of blue fire the Wall crumbles into the sea, devastating and conclusive proof that wall's are never the answer (no matter how cool and icy they look). I have to wonder though, what was the plan for traversing the Wall without a dragon? The Night King couldn't have known one of the only three dragons in the world would fall into his clutches...what was the contingency plan? Doesn't matter, the Wall is down and I'm going to need a wellness check on Ginger Beard.

Well that's it friends, season seven! If our own nuclear winter hasn't come I'll see you back here in.....two years..... Miss ya!

Things I didn't get to:

Clegane-bowl pre-game?

Probably could have thought of some more derogatory things to say about Bran.

Cersei's fake out Stark-alliance fur-lined dress.

What happened to Gendry?

MVP: You. You made it.

XO MD

P.S. if you want to talk to me on Twitter about incest and shitty Westerosi parenting I'm @marthadee.

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