#she used cereal and it looked like a chicken nugget ball

[zathorn]

I just watched a video of an American woman frying ice cream for dessert. You guys really do fry everything there. I'm amazed.

[hqhunybuns]

hot, steamy, slow shower sex with osamu after practice 👁👁

I thirst after Osamu with a heavy passion 😩👌

Shower sex with Osamu after practice

The weekend never looked so dull-- usually your weekends were full of debauchery and mischief, either from the Miya twins antics or your other friends dragging you along to a sleepover or random three a.m. Walmart trips; it was a nice break from your usual rambunctious life.

Your parents had fled your home for the weekend, claiming they needed a weekend to rekindle their already over bloomed relationship, leaving you alone to do what you did best… binge watch tv.

The plush tan couch cushion you sat yourself in hours ago kept you cozy as you fisted snacks into your awaiting mouth, eyes never wandering from your show. It was late afternoon by the time you checked your phone for the first time today, not feeling bad for blatantly ignoring your boyfriend for mystical teenagers trapped in love triangles.

Osamu should be here at any time, or so you had thought. The next time you checked your phone, it was nearing nine at night. He was supposed to come by after practice and make dinner for the two of you, his idea, you might add; if you had it your way, your dinner would be mac and cheese and chicken nuggets-- but Osamu had standards, and he called that meal pathetic the first time he saw you eat it.

He was adorable in his own right, but it was annoying on how much he was a food elitist. You’re a grown ass person, you should be allowed to eat Oreos at eight in the morning as cereal without being judged!

Just as Elena had confessed that she loved Damon, the doorbell broke your concentration. Heaving yourself from the cocoon of blankets and pillows you had made for yourself on the couch, you swung the front door open and beamed.

“There’s my sweaty boyfriend! Come in, come in! I made you your own little fort beside the couch!”

The tall boy peered down at you, not entertained by your invitation, merely passing you and slinging his gym bag by the door. You grabbed his hand and drug him to the couch, pushing him into the bundle of plush pillows and warm blankets. He opened his mouth to speak but you quickly placed a finger over his lips.

“I have one more episode before this season is finished, give me forty minutes and you’ll have my complete and utter attention,” You removed the finger from his mouth and held up your pointer and middle finger in the air. “Scouts honor.”

Osamu didn’t object, he let you do as you pleased-- he enjoyed the fact you were sitting in his lap while engrossed in The Vampire Diaries, his arms encircled your torso and held you close to his built but considerably sweaty, body.

He entertained himself by texting his brother or scrolling down Facebook aimlessly, exhaling deeply whenever he saw a funny meme. He wanted to show you the deep fried minion meme but he knew that you were too engrossed in your terrible CW drama. 

“I knew it! I knew that was going to happen! This show is such bullshit, next season better be better or I won’t watch it anymore!” you huffed, slouching into Osamu.

He sighed and circled his thumbs on your waist. “You say that after each season.”

You rolled your eyes. “Yeah, but maybe next season’s gonna get better.”

Sniffing the air, you whipped your head and stared at Osamu’s confused expression. “Why do you smell like you haven’t taken a shower?”

“‘Cause I came here straight from practice, figured you’d want me here soon as possible.”

The glimmer of a thought ran through your mind and went straight to your mouth. “Can I take a shower with you?”

Osamu smiled lightly, “Thought you’d never ask, sweetheart. C’mon, get up.”

You giddly jumped from his lap and to the floor, waiting for him to stand before ushering him to the bathroom, shutting the door behind the both of you. The gray haired boy wrapped his arms around you from behind and pressed his face into your shoulder.

“‘Samu, you smell like a teenagers sock drawer, let go so we can get clean.” you sighed happily, leaning into his embrace.

“Just missed ya’, is all.” he breathed, letting go of you.

The two of you stripped of your clothes, leaving them piled on the tiled floor. You opened the glass door of the standing shower and invited Osamu in, taking close attention to his nicely defined torso and toned legs, zoning in on his cock, which was already half hard.

Ice cold water spouting from the shower head caused you to yelp, but it was quickly replaced with a steady, warm stream. As soon as Osamu and yourself agreed with the water temperature, you turned around to face him. 

“It should be illegal to be that hot.” you commented quietly, cupping his face with your hands before placing a chaste kiss on his lips.

He chuckled before returning the kiss, dipping both of your heads under the downpour of water. You giggled into the kiss, breaking it to take a gulp of air, trying to avoid getting water in your mouth.

Osamu’s hands slowly cupped your breasts, his thumbs going to swirl your hardened nipples. Your breath hitched, leaning into him and your back arching. He claimed your mouth with his once more, licking your lip, asking for an entrance.

You obliged, his tongue slipping into your mouth as his hands didn’t seize their antagonizing slow assault on your breasts. Your hands trailed from his face to his hair, tugging on his dark locks lightly, bringing him closer to your body. He groaned into the kiss, groping your breasts harder.

“Osamu…” you hushed, pleasure dripping from your words. 

One of his hands continued their playing while his other one dipped to your throbbing sex, taking his time to spread your outer lips and plunge a finger into your pussy.

You gripped his shoulders, pleasure slowly rising and your stomach becoming warmer by the seconds. Osamu was relentless, adding another finger into you and proceeded to curl them as he thrusted. 

“Fuck, ‘Samu,” you moaned, your back hitting the shower wall.

“You’re so beautiful when you’re needy,” he praised quietly, removing his fingers and bringing them to his lips, licking his digits clean. “Guess I should give ya’ want ya’ want.”

His cock was more than hard, you could see it twitch with excitement. You went to grab his member before he grabbed your hand, stopping your actions. “Turn ‘round for me, sweetheart.”

You couldn’t just ignore him when his voice is low and raspy-- you’d pay him to talk to you for hours when his voice got like that, but then again, his voice got like that whenever he was ready to fuck you into oblivion.

Turning around, he bent your torso and had you brace yourself against the shower wall with your hands. If this were any other time, you’d be teasing him, but at the moment all you needed was to be fucked until you couldn’t stand.

Osamu’s hands gripped your ass with one hand and lined himself with your drenched hole with the other. Before you could hurry him up, he slammed himself into you, knocking the breath from your lungs.

He set the pace, with quick, hard thrusts that barely gave you time to recuperate. Your legs shook as you moaned in ecstasy, throwing your ass back to meet his thrusts. 

“I thought about this all day,” he groaned. “‘Bout how tight you’d be for me, and how you’d sound for me.”

You bit your lip and moaned, “Osamu, please! Please fuck me harder!”

He stopped his breakneck pace mid stroke and leaned over your back, his heavy, warm breath in your ear. “Ya’ sure you can handle it?” 

“Yes, please just ruin me already!” 

Osamu’s hips snapped harshly, his speed increasing tenfold. You could barely withhold your weight, but once his thumb met your clit, you thought you'd fall. 

His balls slapped against your ass as he continued to wreck your pussy, his grunts and groans going straight to your sopping cunt. Your pussy clenched against his cock and your lower stomach growing a tight knot. 

With a couple more thrusts, your pussy clamped around his cock, cumming around him. You swore you saw lights, your legs shaking as he continued to fuck you through your orgasm. Osamu stopped prodding your clit with his hand and gripped your hips, bringing you back into his cock.

“Osamu! Fuck, God, please!” you moaned, your body still sensitive from your orgasm.

He pounding into your cervix, his hands gripping your hips so hard you’re going to have bruises in the morning. “Say it again.”

“Osamu!” Your forehead rested against the shower wall as your boyfriend used you as a cocksleeve.

“That’s right, Y/n, I’m the one that’s fuckin’ ya’ this good.”

Your second orgasm was approaching quickly, and you could tell Osamu was reaching his soon, as his pace lost rhythm, his thrusts more erratic. Your cunt squeezed his cock with your second orgasm, garnering his own release.

He held your hips close to his, your pussy milking him for all he has. He gave a few more weak thrusts, riding out his orgasm before removing himself from you and helping you stand. He brushed hair from your face and looked deeply into your eyes.

“You good?”

You nodded, a lazy smile on your lips.

“Yeah, more than good. Now, let’s get cleaned up, season five is waiting for us downstairs.”

[ecoamerica]

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[pilot-boi]

New Residents: Chapter 1

Okay fine, maybe running off on a space adventure with no money and jobs wasn’t the best idea in the world. They needed more help, the kind that could actually help out.

Now all Ren had to do to achieve that was corral his friend. A friend who had the best intentions in the galaxy, but the attention span of a golden retriever.

They could barely support themselves enough to keep fuel in the ship and food on the table. And it didn’t help anything that Jaune kept trying to bring home strays.

Man’s Best Friend

Traveling the galaxy unsupervised was all well and good. Unless you got distracted by everything that moved.

AO3 LINK

“We are just here to get food, and that is it,” Ren told Jaune. “No distractions this time. We don’t have enough money for that.”

“I didn’t get that distracted,” Jaune argued.

Ren gave him a stern look.

“I said I was sorry! They were very persistent.”

“Sorry doesn’t buy fuel, Jaune. Or food. We don’t have that much money left, and we need to get supplies.”

“I’ll be careful this time. I promise.”

“Good,” Ren grabbed their packs, leaving their ship. “Let’s go.”

The planet that they were on was mostly markets. Ships came and went, buying and selling goods constantly. There were some shops that stayed, but most were only around for a day or two at a time. It was a merchants dream. 

Buyers from all around the galaxy, a vibrant array of items to sell and buy, and a reputation that could improve a merchant’s sales immensely. Fortunately, despite the ever-changing layout of shops, it was always easy to find whatever was needed, and sometimes, what wasn’t.

Jaune and Ren made their way into the depths of the crowds. Merchants shouted their various wares from stalls lining the streets. A few kids pushed through the legs of the adults, chasing after a ball. Scents from food stalls wafted over the crowds.

Jaune’s stomach growled. He hadn’t eaten all day, and he swore he could smell dinosaur chicken nuggets standing out among the other scents. He looked up at Ren, who was scanning the stalls around them for one selling fuel.

“I’m hungry,” he whined, putting on his best sad face.

“We’re buying food.”

“No, I’m hungry right now.”

“We’ll have food we can make on the ship.”

“You sound like my mother,” Jaune grumbled, folding his arms and pouting.

“At least one of us does,” Ren countered. “We can’t afford to buy from the stalls here. They’re all going to be overpriced, and you know it.”

They passed by a stall selling juicy racks of meat with roasted vegetables. Jaune’s stomach rumbled loud enough to hear over the crowds.

“Please,” Jaune begged. “I’m gonna starve, Ren.”

“You’ll live,” he handed a list to Jaune. “Now go see if you can find a stall that sells this fuel. I’ll handle food, since I don’t trust you to not spend all our money on vendor food.”

Jaune huffed and snatched the list out of Ren’s hand. “Aren’t you going to give me any money to buy said fuel with?”

“No, because I don’t trust you.”

Jaune rolled his eyes and turned on his heel, stalking out into the crowd. It was impossible to walk without bumping into someone. The crowds were tightly packed, and it seemed that every tall species had decided that today was the day to shop. Jaune couldn’t see a damn thing.

He pushed past a pair of bickering Velms, not bothering to apologize, and emerged in front of a food stall selling fresh fruits. One of the people who had just bought some of the fruit took a bite, the juice dribbling down their chin.

“Shut up,” he muttered to his growling stomach. Jaune had to strongly resist the urge to just pick one fruit from the basket of an unsuspecting customer. He couldn’t get in trouble here, especially not when he was separated from Ren.

Ren wouldn’t know. It would be fine. Right?

No, it would be wrong to steal. Jaune didn’t want to steal.

Suddenly, the customer he had been eying pushed past him, jostling the basket hooked on their arm. A single pear-shaped fruit bounced out, and Jaune caught it deftly in his hand. The alien appeared to be completely unaware of their loss, and disappeared into the crowd. 

Jaune looked around, checking to see if anyone noticed him holding the sort-of-not-really-stolen-fruit. He then took a bite of the delicious fruit and kept walking, a grin plastered on his face.

Ha! Take that Ren. He’d gotten food without spending money or stealing.

He was just about to take the last bite of the fruit when he noticed something staring at him from one of the alleyways. Curious, Jaune took a few steps towards it, keeping his body low.  

The creature backed up into the alleyway, keeping their distance. They were afraid of him.

“It’s okay,” Jaune said softly. “Here.” He held the rest of his fruit out in front of him.

It slowly moved forwards, stepping cautiously out of the shadows. It looked like a dog, but made of a green, goopy substance. The goo was dirty, like they hadn’t been cleaned in a long time.

Jaune smiled at the creature, and it cautiously moved towards him, taking the fruit out of his hand and leaving behind some green slobber.

“Aren’t you just the cutest?” He moved to sit down. The goopy dog scuttled backwards and Jaune froze. “Hey, hey, hey. It’s okay. See?” He held up his hands, slowly lowering himself down. “I’m not going to hurt you. I’m nice. Nice Jaune.”

The creature hesitated, and then approached again. It licked one of Jaune’s hands with its gooey tongue, licking off the remaining juice from the fruit. It felt almost soft, and was hardly stickier than the fruit had been.

“See? Nice,” Jaune smiled at the dog. Slowly, he lifted his other hand and began to pick off bits of litter that had gotten stuck in the poor animal. He moved slowly, making sure that the dog knew he was trying to help. Sudden movements still seemed to scare her.

Suddenly, Jaune’s communicator began to blink and beep softly. The dog seemed intrigued by the flashing blue light. She moved closer, almost touching Jaune. He stayed as still as he could, letting the dog stare at the dancing lights. 

Slowly, Jaune moved his other hand to press the answer button. Ren’s voice came through suddenly, slightly muffled by the crowd apparently around him.

“Jaune, where are you? Have you found fuel yet?” Ren sounded worried, as usual.

“No, not yet,” Jaune replied standing up slowly. “I got sidetracked.” He could hear Ren’s frustration from across the communicator.

“By what, Jaune?”

“I found a dog? I think. It looks like a dog, anyways. Like if a dog were made of green goop. She’s really friendly.”

“We’re not getting a dog, Jaune,” Ren said sternly. “We can hardly afford to feed ourselves.”

Jaune sighed. He looked down at the dog, searching for a collar. There was none. “Can I at least try to find the owners? I can’t just leave her here.”

Ren sighed, “Fine. Where are you?”

---

They had been going around to stalls for what felt like ages. The twin suns were beginning to set, and floating lanterns began to light up. They had everything they needed to leave, but Jaune was dead set on finding the owner, or owners, of the dog, which he had named Petey, much to Ren’s chagrin.

Jaune refused to be embarrassed when Ren brought up that he’d named an actual living creature after his favourite cereal. And also shut up Ren, Petey could be a girl’s name, shut up.

“Why are you so determined to find this thing’s owner?” Ren asked as they walked away from a fish-selling stand. “It’s not really your business.”

Jaune looked over at him. “It’s… it’s just a thing my dad taught me.”

Ren faltered. Jaune didn’t talk much about his dad anymore. His dad had died when they were in high school… it had taken a lot out of him.

“One time my dad took me to one of the few lakes on Ventos Beta,” Jaune began, “His home planet was almost entirely water, so he always liked it near the lake. We were walking along the shore, and there was this Balces dying on the dry land. That wasn’t unusual.” 

“They constantly swam too close to shore and got left in the tide pools once the water receded. But my dad…” Jaune shook his head, smiling fondly. “He just picked it up and threw it back out into the lake. Everytime we saw one, he picked it up and threw it back.”

“Wasn’t that kind of pointless?” Ren asked. “Those things are stupid. They’d just keep coming back. It doesn’t matter.”

“That’s what I thought too,” Jaune said. “And I asked my dad that. He just tossed another one back and said, ‘it mattered to that one.’ I guess it kind of stuck with me. There could be hundreds of stray pets on this planet, and I’ll never help all of them, but I can help this one.”

Ren hadn’t ever really gotten to know Jaune’s dad. He knew that he was a quiet, kind man who always came to school when Jaune got in trouble. He never yelled at Jaune for getting into fights. Never got angry or lost his temper. He just tried to help him be better.

He had been a good dad.

Finally, a shopkeeper waved them over. He had two sets of arms, one set waving, the other set clasped tightly around the handles on a basket of fruit. He smiled as the trio approached, waving at them causing the two green and yellow lines that ran down his arms to flash in the light.

“I believe you’re looking for that Dulcosi’s owner?” the shopkeeper asked, gently setting the basket of fruit down behind him.

“Yeah, do you know where we could find them?” Jaune asked, excited at finally finding a lead.

“Sure don’t,” the alien replied. “They left here ages ago. The poor thing-” He gestured to Petey. “-has been here ever since. No one wants the responsibility of taking care of her full time, but some of us food vendors will toss her something to eat when we can.”

Jaune knelt down next to the dog and rubbed gently behind her ears, still looking up at the shopkeeper. “She was abandoned? That’s awful.”

He felt sick. Who would abandon their puppy like that? He’d only known Petey for a little while but she was already the sweetest girl he had ever known.

“Sure was,” the shop owner said, shaking his head. He pulled a fruit out of the basket he’d set down and gave it to Petey. “They’re good pets. Loyal. Just need a family.”

Jaune looked up at Ren, putting on his best pleading face. This wasn’t just about his empty stomach anymore. This was for Petey.

Ren heaved a sigh, rubbing his forehead. Jaune wasn’t going to leave without this dog.

“There’s a pet supply shop just a couple streets down,” the shopkeeper said, winking knowingly. “Tell him Luxverd sent you, and he should give you a discount.”

Ren’s face was buried in his hands. He seemed to think that if he didn’t see Jaune then he would disappear. When he uncovered his face, however, Jaune was still there, holding Petey in his arms now.

The combination of Jaune’s pleading face, along with the dog happily panting at him with her tongue sticking out and wagging her tail was too much.

“Fine,” Ren groaned. “Where’s this shop?” He pulled out his map and let Luxverd point out where the shop would be. Not too far away. Ren shouldered his pack, forging out into the crowd. “Come on, Jaune.”

Jaune and the dog followed along behind, shit-eating grin plastered across his face, and Petey’s tag wagging furiously.

---

The shop was brightly lit, toys and pictures of various pets plastered on posters in the windows. The shopkeeper was waving goodbye to a happy looking alien who was carrying a kitten-esque creature in their arms. 

The shop owner looked to be the same species as Luxverd, except instead of green and yellow lines, he had two dark blue lines running down his cheeks. He turned his smile to Jaune and Ren as they approached.

“How can I help you?” he asked, extending one of his arms to Ren. “My name is Caelrune.”

“Ren,” he shook his hand. “We are… um…”

Jaune ignored the shopkeeper, darting to the toy shelf with Petey.

“I recognize that Dulcosi,” Caelrune said. “I suppose Luxverd sent you?”

Ren nodded, looking behind the shopkeeper to watch Jaune. He had set the dog down, and was showing her different toys. Every time Petey showed any interest in one, he added it to the growing pile in his arms.

“I should-” Ren started. Caelrune held up one of his arms, stopping him.

“Make sure your friend doesn’t buy my entire stock, yes.”

Ren nodded gratefully and walked past Caelrune and into the shop. Jaune was looking at bags of food now, the toys all in one basket. The dog was sniffing the different bags.

“Which one is it, girl?” He asked. “What do you want to eat?”

Petey leaned in to sniff a bright pink bag. Once she determined that she liked it, she butted her head against it, turning to pant at Jaune. He beamed and picked up the bag in his arms, almost toppling over from the weight.

“We’re not buying all of these toys,” Ren said, taking the bag of food from Jaune, who looked relieved. “We can’t afford all of them. We can barely afford to take care of ourselves!”

“We can manage,” Jaune said. “We always do.”

“At least put a few back,” Ren said, half-pleading. “She doesn’t need thirty different toys.”

Jaune frowned. He picked a few toys out of the basket, but didn’t like that decision so he put them back and picked a few different ones. He couldn’t decide which ones to put back. Petey deserved them all. Finally, Ren grabbed a random few and put them back on the shelf.

“This should be good,” he said, holding his arm out to stop Jaune from grabbing the toys again.

“Excellent,” Caelrune smiled at them and began calculating the cost.

---

Ren stared sadly at the small handful of currency they had left, while Jaune bounced happily alongside, playing tug-of-war with Petey. He sighed. He couldn’t stay mad at Jaune. Not when he was so happy with having a dog. 

Still… they needed money. Ren knew it wasn’t going to be easy when he had decided to join Jaune on this adventure. Nothing had ever been easy with Jaune.

They were going to have to find somewhere to earn some spare currency or this adventure was going to be cut short.

[lovemesomesurveys]

1. Have you ever bought 99 cent chicken nuggets at Wendy’s? Yeah, back when I could still eat spicy foods I used to get the spicy chicken nuggets there. They were bombbb. 2. How much would you charge to pet-sit a Chihuahua for 5 days? Oh man... I don’t like the yappiness, I’m sorry. :X I don’t know if I could do it. Especially 5 days... that’s a lot. 3. Have you ever played Bejeweled? I probably have at some point. 4. When was the last time you slipped while taking a shower? I haven’t had that issue. 5. Does your mom have a Facebook? Yep.

6. Who would you never give a kidney to? A close friend/family. <<< I’m assuming you thought this was asking who you would give a kidney to, yeah?  Anyway, I don’t know if I could give a kidney to anyone. Like, I don’t know if mine are strong enough to function with just one. I I used to get them checked once a year growing up, but not as often since I became an adult. I mean, they seem to be doing their thing. I just don’t know how my body would react with just one. So yeah, possibly no one. 7. What was the last show you watched on Nickelodeon? On TeenNick I often watch their 90s segment at night. They air Rugrats, Doug, Hey Arnold, and Rocko’s Modern Life. I only like the first 3. 8. Have you ever been bitten by a rat? Nooooo. 9. Do you feel sticky right now? ...No. 10. Why do you not wash off your makeup on some nights? I haven’t worn makeup in like a year, but anyway when I did I admit I didn’t always wash it off at the end of the day. It was just out of laziness, honestly.  11. Do you think that's healthy? I know it’s not good for the skin, ya gotta let it breathe and whatnot. 12. Then why do you do it? I was a lazy bitch. 13. Who is the most annoying person you know? Me. I get on my own damn nerves. The other night I don’t know wth was wrong with me, but I was in a really chatty mood for some reason and I was like, ‘oh my god SHUT UP’  14. What does he/she do that makes you annoyed by them? I’m just annoying. I’m moody, sensitive, whiny, clingy (when it comes to my mom), I randomly get in chatty moods, and I can’t seem to get my shit together.  15. How often do you use a film camera and develop pictures? I don’t.  16. Do you like Smiley Central? What’s that? 17. What do you like/dislike about the show, One Tree Hill? I never watched it. 18. Why do people watch that stuff? They like it? We all have our preferences. I watch other shows of that type/genre, I just never got into that one. 19. Why are headbands coming "back in style”? I didn’t know they ever really went out of style.  20. Did you wear headbands when you were younger? Sometimes. 21. How many people do you know are on vacation right now? No one that I know of. 22. Do Uncrustables look disgusting to you, or is that just me? They’re good. 23. How are people's personalities living in the north, as opposed to the south? Uhhh. 24. What has been the corniest thing you've seen/heard today? Nothing so far. 25. Do puppy dog faces work on you? When actual dogs make them. haha. My doggo knows this. 26. What do you think nudists do when they are on their period? Why are you even thinking about that. 27. Don't say tampon, what if they just did not have the ability to use one? Wtf. 28. Well...would you ever try a nudist cult for a day? Noooo. 29. How about Amish...for a month? No. 30. Describe the shirt you are wearing. It’s a powder blue Adidas hoodie. 31. Would you ever go streaking? Noooo. 32. Right now? No. I don’t like being nude if you didn’t pick up on that by now. I don’t feel comfortable and I’m waaaaaay too self-conscious. I don’t even want to look at myself. 33. When was the last time you cut your hair and fucked it up? I used to cut my own bangs back when I had them and I did an okay job.  34. When was the last time you tried to be seductive? Ha, there’s nothing seductive about me. I’m awkward af. 35. What is your favourite kind of wallpaper? I don’t have one. 36. Do you ever joke with your friend about humping? Uh, no. 37. What was the last research paper you wrote about? I don’t recall. 38. Did you ever buy those pencils with your name already printed on them? I’m sure I had some when I was a kid. 39. Did it piss you off when you couldn't find your name? I have a very common name. 40. Do you have a curvy tummy? No. 41. Doesn't internet on the cell phone suck? It works great on mine. I think you just aged yourself with this question, survey. The internet on smart phones works good. 42. When was the last time you bought cereal for the prize inside? Not since I was a kid. The prizes were always cheesy, but I did like the color changing spoons that were in some. That was cool, ha. 43. Why do some Mexicans down the street look at you and everything… Wtf. 44. How many frames are in your room? 3. 45. What was the last fight you had about? Blah. 46. Have you ever had any doctors come to your house to check up on you? For a few months last year I had an in-home nurse that came twice a week. 47. What is the weirdest thing you have done in 7th grade? Pfft, who knows.  48. Are those mice with little red balls on it hard to control? You’re an odd one, survey maker. 49. What makes you ticked, get pissed off easily? I’m an irritable, moody person and some days it can really be anything. Nagging and getting lectured about things I already know and don’t need to be reminded of/lectured to about will definitely do it. I also don’t like being told to “chill out” or “calm down.” 50. Does blueberry syrup sound good to you, right now? I’m good right now, but I do like it.

[toomanysurveys9]

1. Have you ever bought 99 cent chicken nuggets at Wendy’s? I don’t think so, because I don’t think I remember them ever being so cheap. I’ve bought Wendy’s chicken nuggets though. 2. How much would you charge to pet-sit a Chihuahua for 5 days? Depends on the dog and who I was babysitting for. 3. Have you ever played Bejeweled? I have. I used to enjoy it. 4. When was the last time you slipped while taking a shower? It’s been awhile. 5. Does your mom have a Facebook? Yes.

6. Who would you never give a kidney to? The only ones I WOULD give one to would be my family or closest friends.

7. What was the last show you watched on Nickelodeon? Probably the Loud House because of the children that live here. Or SpongeBob. Or Paw Patrol. One of those three. 8. Have you ever been bitten by a rat? Yeah. 9. Do you feel sticky right now? No. 10. Why do you not wash off your makeup on some nights? Because I’m tired and just don’t care. 11. Do you think that’s healthy? Not even a little. 12. Then why do you do it? Because I don’t care about myself. 13. Who is the most annoying person you know? Probably me. Lol. Or maybe Jacob some days, like when all he wants to do is fuck and I’m just not in the mood because of everything on my plate and being tired and then he gets shitty af. 14. What does he/she do that makes you annoyed by them? I kind of explained Jacob a little. I get annoyed with myself because I’m 26 with two kids, so I should have my life in better shape than it is I feel like. Plus my emotional state. 15. How often do you use a film camera and develop pictures? I don’t. I use the camera on my phone. 16. Do you like Smiley Central? No clue what it is, but probably not. 17. What do you like/dislike about the show, One Tree Hill? I have no opinion since I’ve never seen it. 18. Why do people watch that stuff? You don’t have to think much when you watch shows like that. You can just be there and not have to worry or whatever. 19. Why are headbands coming “back in style”? I don’t know or care.. 20. Did you wear headbands when you were younger? Yeah. 21. How many people do you know are on vacation right now? No one that I know of. 22. Do Uncrustables look disgusting to you, or is that just me? Yeah, I won’t eat them. I feel like after being frozen, the bread will be soggy and gross, or the peanut butter and/or jelly is going to taste funky. 23. How are people’s personalities living in the north, as opposed to the south? In the south, the people seem to be nicer and less in a hurry I guess. It also seems cheaper in some areas, although more expensive in the bigger cities, at least compared to where I live. The scenery is also better in the south - where I live (in the north), we have corn fields and flatness. 24. What has been the corniest thing you’ve seen/heard today? Nothing comes to mind. 25. Do puppy dog faces work on you? If my kids were to do them, or you know, actual puppies. That’s about it. 26. What do you think nudists do when they are on their period? I have no idea. They might use tampons? Or a diva cup? I know nothing of that culture. 27. Don’t say tampon, what if they just did not have the ability to use one? Too late. I already did. I don’t know. Nor do I care. 28. Well…would you ever try a nudist cult for a day? No. 29. How about Amish…for a month? No. 30. Describe the shirt you are wearing. It’s black and white. Kind of striped but uneven? It’s my usual interview shirt. 31. Would you ever go streaking? Probably not. 32. Right now? No. 33. When was the last time you cut your hair and fucked it up? I don’t know. 34. When was the last time you tried to be seductive? I can’t. I’m too awkward and weird. And feel uncomfortable. 35. What is your favourite kind of wallpaper? I don’t really like wallpaper. 36. Do you ever joke with your friend about humping? Not really. 37. What was the last research paper you wrote about? I don’t remember. 38. Did you ever buy those pencils with your name already printed on them? No. I’ve never seen my name on those types of things. It made me sad a bit growing up. Lol. 39. Did it piss you off when you couldn’t find your name? Not pissed off, no. 40. Do you have a curvy tummy? Since having two kids, yeah. More than I would like.  41. Doesn’t internet on the cell phone suck? Mine is usually decent. 42. When was the last time you bought cereal for the prize inside? I was a kid, and technically my parents bought it. Oh, I take that back. I totally might have done this for Wyatt at least once. 43. Why do some Mexicans down the street look at you and everything… ...you’ve got to be kidding me with this shit. 44. How many frames are in your room? I don’t know. 45. What was the last fight you had about? Something petty, I am sure.  46. Have you ever had any doctors come to your house to check up on you? No. 47. What is the weirdest thing you have done in 7th grade? I gave Jacob my lunches because I didn’t eat them. Uhm. I don’t know besides that. 48. Are those mice with little red balls on it hard to control? Huh? 49. What makes you ticked, get pissed off easily? Abusive people. 50. Does blueberry syrup sound good to you, right now? Not right this second, no.

[eldritchsurveys]

626.

1. Have you ever bought 99 cent chicken nuggets at Wendy’s? >> I don’t think so, I don’t usually eat chicken nuggets. 2. How much would you charge to pet-sit a Chihuahua for 5 days? >> If you mean pet-sit on location, I don’t know. Whatever the going rate for that sort of thing is, I guess. But I don’t have the resources or desire to pet-sit here in my own home, so I wouldn’t do that at all. 3. Have you ever played Bejeweled? >> Yeah, a lot. 4. When was the last time you slipped while taking a shower? >> I don’t remember, that rarely happens. 5. Does your mom have a Facebook? >> ---

6. Who would you never give a kidney to? >> I can’t imagine giving a kidney to anyone that wasn’t a spouse or really close friend unless it is after death.

7. What was the last show you watched on Nickelodeon? >> --- 8. Have you ever been bitten by a rat? >> No. 9. Do you feel sticky right now? >> No. 10. Why do you not wash off your makeup on some nights? >> --- 11. Do you think that’s healthy? >> I don’t think it’s good for your skin to leave your makeup on overnight. But if it’s not a frequent occurrence, I can’t imagine it mattering much. 12. Then why do you do it? >> Shit happens, dude. 13. Who is the most annoying person you know? >> --- 14. What does he/she do that makes you annoyed by them? >> --- 15. How often do you use a film camera and develop pictures? >> Never. 16. Do you like Smiley Central? >> I don’t know what that is. 17. What do you like/dislike about the show, One Tree Hill? >> I’ve never seen it. I’m not even sure what it is, although I vaguely remember its existence. 18. Why do people watch that stuff? >> Because people just enjoy different stuff, for their own reasons, fucking duh. Why do people watch anything? 19. Why are headbands coming “back in style”? >> Because it be like that sometimes. 20. Did you wear headbands when you were younger? >> I don’t think so. 21. How many people do you know are on vacation right now? >> I have no idea if anyone I know is on vacation right now. Someone on one of my Discord servers just landed in Vegas, so I guess her. 22. Do Uncrustables look disgusting to you, or is that just me? >> Yeah, they look disgusting to me. The concept of frozen peanut butter and jelly really turns me off. 23. How are people’s personalities living in the north, as opposed to the south? >> I hesitate to make sweeping generalisations about “the North” and “the South” because the intricacies of local culture are a lot more interesting to me than just dividing a giant country in half (well, quarters, technically, since this is usually referring to the Eastern side of the country) like that. Also, you get places like New Orleans, which is more akin to New York than it is to any other Southern city... so then you have “urban cultures vs rural cultures” as yet another subdivision of generalisation... 24. What has been the corniest thing you’ve seen/heard today? >> I was watching anime before I started this, and a lot of anime can get corny sometimes. 25. Do puppy dog faces work on you? >> Not really. Unless I’m in a good mood. 26. What do you think nudists do when they are on their period? >> I’ve wondered stuff like this, but I never cared enough to google. 27. Don’t say tampon, what if they just did not have the ability to use one? >> This shouldn’t have been two separate questions. 28. Well…would you ever try a nudist cult for a day? I find the word “cult” more alarming than “nudist”. <-- 29. How about Amish…for a month? >> No. I don’t think Amish culture is something I’d want to just “try on”, anyway. Seems a little disrespectful in my opinion, unless I was a cultural anthropologist or something (and even then, one should be careful). 30. Describe the shirt you are wearing. >> It’s a black t-shirt with a vodou-inspired print on it from a shop in New Orleans. 31. Would you ever go streaking? >> No. 32. Right now? >> Sigh. 33. When was the last time you cut your hair and fucked it up? >> I buzz my hair, and it’s really hard to fuck that up. 34. When was the last time you tried to be seductive? >> --- 35. What is your favourite kind of wallpaper? >> I prefer none. 36. Do you ever joke with your friend about humping? >> Uh. 37. What was the last research paper you wrote about? >> --- 38. Did you ever buy those pencils with your name already printed on them? >> No, because my name is never on stuff like that. Also because I don’t care for novelty items like that. 39. Did it piss you off when you couldn’t find your name? >> --- 40. Do you have a curvy tummy? >> A bit. 41. Doesn’t internet on the cell phone suck? >> I bet it sure did back whenever this survey was written. 42. When was the last time you bought cereal for the prize inside? >> Never. 43. Why do some Mexicans down the street look at you and everything… >> Wow. 44. How many frames are in your room? >> Two. 45. What was the last fight you had about? >> I don’t remember the last time I fought with someone. 46. Have you ever had any doctors come to your house to check up on you? >> No. 47. What is the weirdest thing you have done in 7th grade? >> I barely remember even being in the seventh grade. 48. Are those mice with little red balls on it hard to control? >> Yeah, I don’t care for those. I suppose when one gets used to it, it gets easier, but I’d rather stick to the regular ones. 49. What makes you ticked, get pissed off easily? >> Questions like “bluh bluh why do people watch stuff like One Tree Hill?” 50. Does blueberry syrup sound good to you, right now? >> No.

[suckitsurveys]

1. Have you ever bought 99 cent chicken nuggets at Wendy’s? I think so.

2. How much would you charge to pet-sit a Chihuahua for 5 days? I would leave that up to the owner.

3. Have you ever played Bejeweled? Nope.

4. When was the last time you slipped while taking a shower? Surprisingly I’ve never done that.

5. Does your mom have a Facebook? Nope, but my dad does and never uses it ever.

6. Who would you never give a kidney to? Someone who wasn’t a match, I’d imagine.

7. What was the last show you watched on Nickelodeon? Probably either Full House or Friends.

8. Have you ever been bitten by a rat? Nope.

9. Do you feel sticky right now? I’m a little warm and sweaty.

10. Why do you not wash off your makeup on some nights? I rarely even wear makeup.

11. Do you think that’s healthy? Whatever.

12. Then why do you do it? Can we move past this please.

13. Who is the most annoying person you know? My brother in law.

14. What does he/she do that makes you annoyed by them? Exists.

15. How often do you use a film camera and develop pictures? Yikes.

16. Do you like Smiley Central? What?

17. What do you like/dislike about the show, One Tree Hill? The use of unnecessary commas.

18. Why do people watch that stuff? What is with surveys being so judgemental?

19. Why are headbands coming “back in style”? Did they ever go out of style?

20. Did you wear headbands when you were younger? I wore headbands a lot before I started wearing glasses.

21. How many people do you know are on vacation right now? I’m not sure. I know Liz is going to Boston tomorrow and I’m super jealous.

22. Do Uncrustables look disgusting to you, or is that just me? I wouldn’t eat them.

23. How are people’s personalities living in the north, as opposed to the south? Um.

24. What has been the corniest thing you’ve seen/heard today? Oh man I made a Dad Joke earlier but I can’t remember what it was now.

25. Do puppy dog faces work on you? On actual puppies.

26. What do you think nudists do when they are on their period? Tampons.

27. Don’t say tampon, what if they just did not have the ability to use one? I already said tampon. Uhhh then I don’t know. Get the pill that stops your period?

28. Well…would you ever try a nudist cult for a day? Nah.

29. How about Amish…for a month? No thank you.

30. Describe the shirt you are wearing. It’s purple with the logo of the school I work for on it.

31. Would you ever go streaking? Nah.

32. Right now? No. Or ever.

33. When was the last time you cut your hair and fucked it up? I’ve never cut my own hair.

34. When was the last time you tried to be seductive? The other night.

35. What is your favourite kind of wallpaper? Florals.

36. Do you ever joke with your friend about humping? I’m not a 12 year old boy.

37. What was the last research paper you wrote about? Yikes. I think the last English class I took was actually the one based on Batman comics, so probably something about Batman.

38. Did you ever buy those pencils with your name already printed on them? No.

39. Did it piss you off when you couldn’t find your name? I had issues with that when I was younger but now Hannah is a pretty popular name. 

40. Do you have a curvy tummy? It’s round.

41. Doesn’t internet on the cell phone suck? Mine is fine.

42. When was the last time you bought cereal for the prize inside? Never.

43. Why do some Mexicans down the street look at you and everything….why Mexicans? What the actual fuck is this question. Did Trump write this?

44. How many frames are in your room? A handful.

45. What was the last fight you had about? I don’t know.

46. Have you ever had any doctors come to your house to check up on you? Not for me, but my mother did after she was in a coma for a month.

47. What is the weirdest thing you have done in 7th grade? Oh man I was a fucking awkward child.

48. Are those mice with little red balls on it hard to control? Yeah they are.

49. What makes you ticked, get pissed off easily? A bad mood.

50. Does blueberry syrup sound good to you, right now? Not really.

[lovemesomesurveys]

1. Have you ever bought 99 cent chicken nuggets at Wendy’s? Yes. The spicy ones are good.

2. How much would you charge to pet-sit a Chihuahua for 5 days? I don’t know. Chihuahuas are so yappy, I don’t know if I could do it lol.

3. Have you ever played Bejeweled? I think so.

4. When was the last time you slipped while taking a shower? I haven’t slipped in the shower, but I’ve almost fallen getting out.

5. Does your mom have a Facebook? Yes.

6. Who would you never give a kidney to? Uhh.

7. What was the last show you watched on Nickelodeon? Full House.

8. Have you ever been bitten by a rat? No!

9. Do you feel sticky right now? No.

10. Why do you not wash off your makeup on some nights? Laziness, really. ha.

11. Do you think that’s healthy? I only wear eyeliner and mascara, so. I don’t think it’s harmful. I also don’t wear it that often anymore.

12. Then why do you do it? I don’t think it’s unhealthy, though?

13. Who is the most annoying person you know? No one I know is especially annoying. I just get in irritable moods sometimes where anyone and anything can annoy me.

14. What does he/she do that makes you annoyed by them? --

15. How often do you use a film camera and develop pictures? I couldn’t even tell you the last time I used a camera that needed film.

16. Do you like Smiley Central? What?

17. What do you like/dislike about the show, One Tree Hill? I never watched it.

18. Why do people watch that stuff? Because they like it, I’m guessing.

19. Why are headbands coming “back in style”? I didn’t know they were; though, if you’re asking about One Tree Hill I’m guessing this survey is pretty old. Maybe they are in style again, who knows. Or maybe they were never out of style. Headbands are whatever.

20. Did you wear headbands when you were younger? Sometimes.

21. How many people do you know are on vacation right now? None that I know of.

22. Do Uncrustables look disgusting to you, or is that just me? I like them. It’s funny you mention that because I had been wanting those, and almost got them at the store yesterday.

23. How are people’s personalities living in the north, as opposed to the south? I don’t know?

24. What has been the corniest thing you’ve seen/heard today? Nothing that I can think of.

25. Do puppy dog faces work on you? Only on a dog, ha.

26. What do you think nudists do when they are on their period? I can honestly say that is not something I’ve thought about or want to think about.

27. Don’t say tampon, what if they just did not have the ability to use one? It’s really not something I care to speculate about.

28. Well…would you ever try a nudist cult for a day? No.

29. How about Amish…for a month? No thank you.

30. Describe the shirt you are wearing. It’s a long sleeved black shirt.

31. Would you ever go streaking? Nooo.

32. Right now? No. Or ever.

33. When was the last time you cut your hair and fucked it up? When I was younger and would try to cut my own bangs.

34. When was the last time you tried to be seductive? I’m so not seductive.

35. What is your favourite kind of wallpaper? I don’t have a favorite kind. I’ve never had wallpapered walls. Is that what you’re referring to?

36. Do you ever joke with your friend about humping? ...no?

37. What was the last research paper you wrote about? I don’t remember.

38. Did you ever buy those pencils with your name already printed on them? I had some when I was a kid.

39. Did it piss you off when you couldn’t find your name? I didn’t have that issue.

40. Do you have a curvy tummy? No.

41. Doesn’t internet on the cell phone suck? Mine is fine.

42. When was the last time you bought cereal for the prize inside? That was never a reason for me to get cereal. I just wanted the cereal.

43. Why do some Mexicans down the street look at you and everything….why Mexicans? Wtf...

44. How many frames are in your room? Two.

45. What was the last fight you had about? *shrug*

46. Have you ever had any doctors come to your house to check up on you? No. I wish my doctors did house calls. Especially the one I have to see once a week.

47. What is the weirdest thing you have done in 7th grade? Probably a lot of things.

48. Are those mice with little red balls on it hard to control? I have no idea.

49. What makes you ticked, get pissed off easily? It can be anything, just depends on my mood.

50. Does blueberry syrup sound good to you, right now? Mmm. That does sound good with some waffles.