#she tried to start a fight with me last night and i didn't engage and now i'm p sure she gave my dad my phone number

[kittlyns]

I had yet another long, strenuous day yesterday and didn't finish work until super late and then I couldn't fall asleep until well past 2am cuz I was in so much pain from standing literally all day

[wickedhawtwexler]

i swear my mother and i have some kind of psychic link. she can just sense when i'm having a bad time, even when we aren't talking, and thinks to herself "hmm, i should make this worse"

[awriterinthenight]

'It's ok love' Part 1-Anthony Lockwood

requested: anonymous

words: 1850

warnings: mentions of family being a bit horrible, uhhhhhh I might have put Lockwood instead of Anthony once or twice cause I totally re read this after writing this (I did not), also sorry I haven't posted in awhile, school is kicking my ass and I just went through some shit, oh also language maybe? idk. Sorry this is in multiple parts, it was just easier to write this way. This is kinda just the set up so its not the most intriguing, but just wait till part two and three, I suggest you bring tissues

summary: You get invited to your sister's engagement party and Anthony has a case near there, so you offer him to stay there when his hotel has to cancel his reservation. So what could possibly happen when your not so nice family invites you and you spend a night getting picked on, but luckily Anthony is there to comfort you. Then he tells your family you and him are dating, so what could possibly go wrong?

"That's wonderful, I can't wait to see you guys there. Alright, bye bye." As I hang up the phone Anthony walks down the stairs carrying one of his bags for a case.

"Who was that," he asks, placing the bag down.

"It was just my mom," I tell him, "She was telling how my sister just got engaged and they're having a whole engagement party for her. It's quite exciting really," I say, trying to hide my nerves. My family was...something to say the least. They were rather wealthy, but not the best of people. Which is what led me to leave when I was 15 and start working at Lockwood and Co.

He looks at me a bit shocked, "Really, well are you gonna go," he asks, shocked since he knew me and my family weren't on the best of terms, but he never really knew the full truth.

I shrug, "Yeah, probably," I tell him, but quickly switch the subject, "So, are you prepared for your case," I ask, since it was a solo case. Lucy was busy with Norrie the day of the case, George promised Flo they'd go bird watching, and I wasn't in much of a good condition to go on a case.

In our last case while fighting off a type two, I managed to twist my ankle on a rug when I slid out of its way when it almost ghost touched me. Since then Lockwood had put me on house arrest basically, so I haven't been on a case in about a week. I tried to convince him to let me go on this one, but he insisted I wait a bit longer, at least until we knew I would be fine. I guess it didn't matter anymore since I was going to my sister's engagement party.

Anthony looked down at the bag he dropped, letting out a sigh, "I think so, I've got extra flares just in case and George wouldn't let me leave without having at least half of our stalk in my bag," he says, chuckling a bit at his own comment.

I can't help but laugh too, "I guess you'll be well prepared then," I say, our conversation turning stale as George calls us for dinner.

***

I was heading downstairs to the library when I heard someone on the phone.

"Uh huh, no I completely understand. Alright, goodnight," the person says, hanging up the phone with a sigh.

I descended the stairs, seeing it was Anthony who was on the phone, "Who was that?" I ask, suspicious of who would call this late.

He sighs again, running a hand down his face, "The manager of the hotel I was staying at for my case. He had to cancel my reservation since they're overbooked. He offered compensation, but now I have to find a new hotel somewhere else. But, anything this late in advance is gonna be expensive," he tells me.

I nod, "I'm sorry, that sounds horrible," I say, trying to sympathize. We stand there a moment before a thought appears to me, "Hey, your case isn't too far from my family's house right?" I ask, smiling a bit.

"I guess so, but what does that have to do with anything," he questions, confused.

I giggle at his confusion, "I think you need to get some sleep, your brain seems to not be thinking properly," I joke, moving a stray strand of hair out of his face, making his cheeks turn a slight pink tint, "What I mean is, if your case isn't far away from my families place, why don't you stay there instead of paying for a hotel," I suggest.

Anthony shakes his head saying, "No, I wouldn't want to intrude on you and your family. Plus, there probably wouldn't be space for me."

"My family wouldn't mind, I promise. And, there will be space for you, trust me. They might not even notice you're there," I reassure him, but he still shakes his head. I let out a say, "Anthony it'll be fine. I promise, let me offer you this one thing. You let me stay in your house, so let me just offer you a night or two at mine," I try to reason with him.

He lets out a calm sigh, "I could never truly say no to you, can I, especially when you say my name," he says, looking at me with nothing but adoration. No one else called him Anthony, only I did. He never really corrected me when I would slip up, unlike he would do with Lucy and George. If one of them said it he would immediately joke at how they were using his government name, but when I say it, to him it was like the sweetest love song. It got to the point where I only called him Lockwood if I was mad at him over something, and he hated it when I called him Lockwood, so I only call him Anthony from now on. So sometimes I would take advantage of it, like just now.

"I'll stay at your place, but just this one time, okay," he says, unable to take his eyes off of me.

I smirk at him, happy that I successfully got him to agree, "Good, we're leaving in the morning since its quite the train ride, so I'll see you in the morning, night Anthony," I say, turning around to walk back up the stairs, when I feel a hand catch my arm.

His hand is around my arm and he uses it to spin me around, "Wait, one last thing. Just cause I let you live here doesn't mean you owe me anything you know that," he assures me.

I smile at him softly, "Of course I know that, but how else was I supposed to get you to agree," I tell him.

He smirks, his hand sliding down to my waist, "You're very cheeky, you know that," he tells me, unable to hide his vibrant smile.

The laugh that leaves my lips is small, but just enough to make his face turn a bit pink from how close I am to him, "Oh, you wouldn't have me any other way," I retort, tilting my head and smirking at him.

He breathes out a sigh, "No, no I would not," he tells me. We stay like that for a moment. Too scared to move, since it feels like if we do the fragile feeling of happiness and admiration might break apart.

Anthony speaks first saying, "You should get to bed, I'll see you in the morning love," he says, adding the pet name at the end out of impulse.

I can't help but feel the blush take over my face. "You too, night Anthony," I say, walking back up the stairs, feeling the loss of warmth from his hands on my waist. He stands there watching me go up the stairs, drinking up every last bit of my presence like it's the only way he'll stay alive, before he heads back to his own room for the night.

***

My alarm clock went off at 6am, waking me up as I smelt fresh coffee being brewed. I had to catch my train at 8am with Lockwood, so I had about an hour to get ready, since the cab ride was only a few minutes from the station.

I brush my teeth and hair, doing my usual hairstyle and makeup. I threw on rather comfy clothes, a sweater since the trains were always cold, and my favorite jeans.

Heading downstairs I find George brewing fresh coffee, and cooking eggs for breakfast. "Morning George," I greet, taking a seat at the table.

"Morning," is all he says, grumbling a bit since he's not a morning person. He continues to cook as Lucy and Anthony make their way downstairs.

When George finishes breakfast we all dig in immediately. Lucy tells us about her plans with Norrie and George talks about where he and Flo are spending the day. I listen to them talk as I eat, too tired to speak this early in the morning. Anthony eventually chimes in explaining the change in plans, and how he's now staying at my place. Both of them just nod, a bit shocked since I don't talk much about my family.

After breakfast we all split ways, Lucy leaving to go meet up with Norrie, George going back to the library to collect the rest of the research for Anthony, while I finish packing. I make sure I have everything and that Anthony does too, since I don't want to have to turn around mid cab ride if either of us forgot something.

At around 7 me and Anthony grab our stuff to head out as the cab arrives just on time. I say bye to George, telling him not to burn the house down while we're gone. He just laughs sarcastically and pushes me out the door, out of annoyance.

Our cab ride was rather silent. The only conversation being the couple of times I had to reassure Lockwood that he was fine for staying at my family's place, and that he didn't need to pay the expensive price of a hotel. Our cab ride was only about 20 minutes or so, leaving us plenty of time to board our train.

When we got on we got a decent seat, and I convinced Anthony to let me have the window seat, which wasn't particularly difficult since I wasn't a big fan of train rides and he knew that. Train rides made me nauseous for some reason and it was rather annoying, but Anthony understood and made sure I was fine the entire ride.

"You okay?" he asked every few minutes to make sure I was fine.

I nodded my head, "I'm fine," I reassured him. It wasn't just the train ride making me feel a bit sick, but also the nerves from seeing my family. I only visited once for Christmas since I left, which wasn't the best trip, so since then I just lied saying everyone else didn't have anyone else to spend Christmas with and I felt bad. Or, that I was too busy with work to make time to visit.

Eventually Anthony caught on, asking, "Are you sure you're okay, is it the train or something else?"

I shrug, "The train obviously is making me sick, but I guess just the nerves from seeing my family too. I just haven't seen them in awhile, so I guess I'm just a bit nervous," I tell him.

"Well I'm sure they'll be happy to see you. I know I'm always happy when I see you, so you'll be just fine," he says, making me blush a bit. He then wraps his arm around me, helping me to relax a bit.

Slowly I fall asleep with his arm around me thinking, 'maybe this trip won't be so bad'.

If only I knew the truth, but at least I would have Anthony

[stephsageek]

Another!

An excerpt from a random chapter of "Much Longer than Six Years, Five Months and Seven Days."

“I’ll be back late,” she bit out tightly before slamming the door behind her.

Lila stomped towards the black sedan parked outside their home, her movements clipped and angry. She yanked open the passenger door and sat down with a huff.

Beside her, in the driver’s seat, Five’s eyebrows climbed towards his hairline. He was still wearing his work clothes, beside his jacket. The only sign that he was relaxed was his loosened tie, something that was rather ruined by the fact that he still wore a shoulder holster and gun.

He was only an intern at the CIA, and he still insisted on having a consealed/carry permit, the paranoid old codger.

In the backseat, there were random boxes filled with files and exam books.

“So, we’re slamming doors now?” He quipped as he checked his mirrors before he pulled out into the night.

“I can’t believe the bloody nerve of that man!” Lila fumed; her hands were balled into fists. She made a spastic, jerking movement with her entire body, kicking the dashboard in rage and flailing her fists.

“Whoa! Whoa! Easy!” Five tried, before pulling back off the road before she caused some kind of accident.

He pulled into a more deserted part of the neighborhood. Lila assumed he was wisely hoping to avoid the cops getting called on them over some sort of domestic dispute while Lila raged.

“What the hell happened?” he wondered aloud, looking annoyed.

“What always happens! It’s the same thing! Over and over! It’s driving me barking!” Lila hissed through gritted teeth.

Five sighed, rubbing his forehead.

It had taken remarkably little time for his brother and Lila’s honeymoon period to wear off. Inside the first year, they were already fighting. Lila regularly complained to Five about it. She simply didn't know who else to talk to about it. She wasn't close to the others the way she was with Allison and Five, and Allison was having issues of her own.

“Did you and Dolly ever fight?” Lila sighed, glancing over, looking miserable.

Five smiled ruefully. “Like cats and dogs sometimes. But…” he sighed. “It’s not the same. Delores worried about me; tried to make sure I took care of myself. You and Diego…” Five’s mouth twisted. His stiff body language telegraphed how uncomfortable he was with this conversation.

Lila was somewhat surprised. Five usually loved engaging in shit-talk. It was probably the fact that it was 'emotional mushy' shit-talk.

“…Were…were you ever sorry you got married?” Lila asked in a voice too small to be her own.

Five gave her an unreadable look.

“Lila, I never once regretted a single instant with Delores. She was a wonderful woman. But again, you and Diego are completely different. Dolly and I were the last two things that even resembled people after the world ended.”

Lila pouted. “If Diego and I were the last two people on the planet, we'd strangle each other.”

Five barked a sudden laugh, shaking his head as he smiled.

“Of that I have no doubt.”

Lila threw her head back, resting it against the headrest, her eyes squeezed shut. She sighed before sitting back up, clapping her hands together.

“This isn’t about me,” she declared, louder than necessary and with excessive cheer. She turned to Five, “It’s about you, baby boy! Sixty-four years old! Just like the Beatles song!”

Five smirked shaking his head with a fond look of exasperation on his young face.

Although Lila admitted, it no longer looked so young.

Five was now physically eighteen years old. His features were a young man's now, all chiseled jaw, and stubble. His hair was a bit pouncy, but it suited him, she supposed. It was strange seeing him grow up. She used to see the old man first, then the boy when she used to look at him.

Now, all she saw was Five.

He had worked hard to get to where he was, and she couldn’t help but be secretly proud of the little turd.

They had both had to forge some documents to start their life in this new reset universe.

Both, technically never having existed here. Viktor had tried to get him to go to regular school but that had been a disaster.

Luther had taken him to take his GED and then Five had set about writing papers to land a scholarship.

No one wanted Daddy Reggie involved.

Five had to grin and bear as much college as he could stand before he graduated extremely early with a PhD. in Physics. Now he was interning at the CIA. His reasons were still unclear to Lila.

“Okay, I know we said no presents; but what can I say? I’m a giver!” Lila dug around in her purse for a moment before retrieving a ceramic mug with the words, ‘Professional Asshole,’ printed on one side.

“A giver of headaches,” Five muttered as he grinned down at the gift.

“Oh, pish-posh! If you didn’t like me, you would have told me to piss off like you did the rest of your siblings,” Lila waved away breezily.

“I didn’t tell them to ‘piss off.’ Only Viktor remembered to call—” Five frowned as he continued to stare at his lap.

“We have the same bloody birthday, and I’m the only one to bug you to come out on it?!” Lila squawked in annoyance.

“Technically, our birthday was a week ago—”

“Minor details! I had to go today because I had already told Diego I was going to book club—”

“—you told him this was book club?” Five grinned. “Why didn’t you just tell him you were going to badger me for a night?”

Lila huffed crossing her arms. “He says a gun range and a strip club are no places for a mother.”

“Has he met you before?”

“Thank you!” Lila agreed, throwing her arms up in exasperation.

[daddyy333]

Don’t come back | Robin Buckley x y/n

if you’d like you can reblog my original work, but please don’t post it without credit. if you take inspiration from my ideas please tag me, I’d like to see how someone else would write it

word count: 1.7k

warnings: heartbreak, breakup, y/n is really really sad, ?

summary: requested

Robin couldn’t figure out why she felt like this. Everything was perfect. You were doing all the right things and yet, Robin didn’t feel that warmth in her chest that she used to feel as much as she did at the beginning of your relationship when you kissed her, or hugged her, or even looked her way.

The last straw for her is when you called her and she didn’t actually want to say I love you at the end of the call. She felt like that spark wasn’t quite as strong as before. So the next day you called her, playing with the engagement ring you got her, hoping she’d convince you to come home so you could propose already.

“Hi, baby. I miss yo-” you said and Robin cut you off. She groaned and said “y/n, don’t. Don’t- don’t say stuff like that” “what? What’s wrong? Why?” You said, eyes widening. She sighed and you started to get nervous.

Never in a million years did you expect the next few words to come out of her mouth.

“I don’t think this is working anymore” she said, making your heart drop. You gasped, tears filling your eyes. You covered your mouth, trying to fight the sobs.

You couldn’t, not when you planned your entire life with the woman who was trying to break up with you. “W-Why- Why would you s-say something like that?” You asked, sniffling. She scoffed and said “come on, y/n, don’t cry. I hate when you-”

“N-No! No, you don’t g- get to tell me not to cry. I- I-I don’t- I don’t understand, everything has been so- so good, w-what changed?” You asked, struggling to breathe. She bit her lip and said “I just…I don’t feel that spark anymore. I don’t know if this is enough anymore”

“What, l-like I’m not enough or something?” You said, chuckling sadly. Robin winced and said “y/n you know that’s not what I mean” “I don’t k-know anything, R-Robin, I thought- I- I knew that you were the one, you were in- in love with me, you didn't want to break up with me…but cl- clearly I was wrong” you said and she began to cry a little.

It almost felt like you were the one breaking up with her. She hadn’t felt so strongly about you in weeks, so why all of a sudden did she feel this way breaking up with you?

“Babe I-” “no…don’t call me that.” You said and sighed shakily. You sniffled and said “I hope y- you’re happy. I hope that you’re happy with t-this decision, Robin” “I- I’m not- you know this is just as hard for me” she said and you scoffed.

“Is it? Is it really?” You said. You wiped your tears and shook your head. It was silent for a while before you said “get out of my house. I own it. If you need help I suppose you can ask but don't ask me, ask my assistant, because I can’t talk to you ever again. Not after this”

“Okay…yea, yea I’ll be out of here by the end of the week” she said and you sniffled. You hung up the phone, sighing shakily as you threw the box across the room. You sunk to your knees, sobs racking your body.

All you wanted in a time like this was Robin's comfort. It’s all you wanted. But you couldn’t have that anymore. She took that away, and you don’t even know why. Did you do something? Did you deserve it? Maybe you really just weren’t enough.

Of course she conveniently decided to do this the night before you perform in Hawkins, and debut the song you wrote about her. You tried to fight it, but you couldn’t help but cry as you sang the song. You managed to finish it decently, but tears streamed down your face the whole time.

Your big brother, Eddie, ran on stage as you cried and hugged you tight, kissing your head and taking you back to the bus. He put you on the bed, rubbing your back gently as you cried. “What happened?” He asked and you sniffled.

“S-She broke up with me,” you said and he gasped. He shook his head and said “I-I- I don’t…weren’t you going to propose? What happened?” “Yea, I was! I was so fucking excited, and I called her hoping she’d beg me to come home so I could propose but she broke up with me! I don’t even know why!” You shouted, angry and sad and upset and feeling so many things at once.

Eddie comforted you through the pain like he always did growing up. Every time your parents would fight he was there for you. Every time your dad picked on you because you weren’t his he defended you and promised nothing would change the fact you were his sister. And now, he comforts you once more during the worst breakup of your life.

You finished the tour, fans had already figured out you and Robin broke up because you cried through that song 3 times before they took it off the set list and you just hadn’t been the same since. You’d been so quiet and sad and your shows weren’t as good as they were before. You were exhausted mentally, but going home would just remind you of everything you and Robin had together so you just powered through it.

Steve came to pick you up after the show because Eddie was busy in a meeting for his band and you didn’t want to trouble him. “Hey…are you okay?” He asked, pulling you into a hug. You sighed and shook your head.

“I don’t trust you not to tell Robin so I don’t wanna talk about it” you said and he winced slightly. He helped you load your bags up and gave you a breakfast sandwich to eat. You didn’t want to go home, you wished you had literally any place else to go to.

Robin's car was gone, so she probably had already left like you’d asked her to. You wished she had said it was a joke and she didn’t mean it, making your favorite sound, her laugh.

You stepped in the house, setting your bags down as tears welled up in your eyes. You took a deep breath and Steve brought the rest of your stuff in. He hugged you tight and said “if you need anything, call me” You nodded and thanked him before closing the door behind him and locking it.

You leaned against it, tears fighting to spill over. You couldn’t handle being here. Too many memories of Robin lived within these walls. You moved to the couch, scoffing as you could still smell her all over the cushions. You turned on the TV, her favorite show playing.

It was all too much. You just wished things would end and get better. You missed her so fucking much. You wanted to marry her, build your life together, have kids together. She ruined all of that for you, and you don’t even get to know why.

Months go by, and you start to feel just a little better. You moved out of that house, and even got yourself a cat. You started going to therapy, and learned to live life without Robin. You never wanted to, but you couldn’t mope around for the rest of your life.

It’s been nearly 6 months now, and one morning you’re about to hop in the shower when you hear a knock on your door. You roll your eyes and slip your hoodie back on, quickly running to the front door.

You gasped as you opened the door to see your ex girlfriend. You had seen her or spoken a word to her since that phone call. “Y/n,” she said and tears filled your eyes. You shook your head and said “what are you doing here?”

“I just…I wanted to apologize. I- I know I really hurt you and you’ve been going through a lot and stuff-” she said and you cut her off. You scoffed and said “yea, Robin you broke up with me over the phone in the middle of my tour without even giving me an explanation. Kinda fucked up if you ask me”

“I’m- I’m sorry, y/n. I- I made a mistake. I did. I thought that things were getting too different but the truth is that I just hadn’t seen you in so long and I just felt so distant from you but I didn’t realize it until it was too late. I can’t stop thinking about you, and I regret everything I did. Breaking up with you was the dumbest decision I’ve ever made” she said and you sighed.

You bit your lip and said “Robin…I- I can’t. I’m finally getting somewhere, I can’t go through that again. I can’t live in fear for the rest of my life that any time I go on tour you’re gonna want to break up. You don’t understand how much you hurt me. Robin I- fuck, I was going to propose! You took away my entire future, I don’t know if you realized that”

“Y-…You were gonna propose?” Robin asked and you wiped your tears away, a shaky sob leaving your lips. You nodded and said “Robin, I…I’m- I can’t do this again. It d-destroyed me last time. I won’t put myself through it again” “it’s not- I’m not gonna make the s-same mistakes, y/n. I lo-”

“Robin, please. Go. Don’t come back. I just want to move on” you said and she sighed. She nodded and turned around slowly making her way to the steps. You closed the door and squeezed your eyes shut.

A shaky breath left you, almost in physical pain because of how badly you wished you could have Robin back. But you knew this was only temporary. Getting back together with her would leave you worried that she would fall out of love with you again for the rest of your life. You won’t put yourself through that.

You sniffled as you walked away from the door, sitting down on the couch and wiping your tears. You watched her car pull out of the driveway and took a deep breath. You were grateful for everything you and Robin had together but you couldn’t keep thinking about it and obsessing over it, it only reminded you of how painful the words “I don’t think this is working anymore” felt when she spoke them.

As of now l'm writing for

Eddie Munson

Lo’ak

Neteyam

Sebastian Stan

Bucky Barnes

CW!Bucky Barnes

Chris Evans

Geralt of Rivia

Henry Cavill

Chris Sturniolo

So just comment the taglist you want to be added to and l'll add you :)

[nutzgunray-lvt]

Hot Seat

It's finally here! I had the plot more or less outlined from the beginning, but writer's block hit me in regards to the ending. I wasn't sure if I wanted Aizawa to realize how much of an asshole he had been up to that point or double down on it, so I decided to leave it open for the most part. I wrote this fic because the scene this was inspired from (the 4th light novel where the teachers have a get together after the School Festival) really pissed me off. They knew damn well that Izuku had trust issues in regards to going to his teachers for help... and did nothing. Only All Might cared, and everyone else just brushed it off.

The School Festival went off without a hitch, but Toshinori wasn't happy.

After enduring two villain attacks less than three months apart, UA's students got to be just that again: students. The school buzzed with an intense energy that seemingly invigorated everyone present, and the first years in particular presented one amazing event after another, but Toshinori wasn't happy.

It didn't make any sense. He should have been happy. School was closed today, as well as the next, letting everyone have a much deserved break. Everyone had a blast visiting the various kiosks, games, and shows. He was slowly but surely getting used to a life of retirement, and he had gotten his teaching license.

So why wasn't he happy?

After everything had been taken down and the students were sent off to bed, Toshinori had been cajoled into staying up with the rest of the teachers for a sort of after-party (as if they hadn't done enough celebrating during the festival). He wasn't in a particularly celebratory mood, but he didn't really have the energy to fight Present Mic's incessant tugging on his arm as he tried heading upstairs to his room.

"It won't be any fun without you!" the younger blonde had pleaded.

As the other teachers made drinks and broke off into small groups, Thirteen seemed to notice his less than cheerful mood. She pulled him into a corner with two non-alcoholic beers to regale him with stories of the latest nature documentary that had just been released. It had actually worked for a while - he and the young Hero both loved nature and she was good company in general, but Toshinori couldn't shake the feeling that he was being watched. Out of the corner of eye, he could see Aizawa peering over at him in between sips of his own beer.

It made him feel unexpectedly angry. God, just what did he do this time?

Since starting at UA, Toshinori had quickly learned that the young Underground Hero had some sort of bone to pick with him. Efforts to make things right (what had he done wrong?) had proven to be less than fruitful, so Toshinori gave up and decided to settle on a peaceful co-existence with him. After all, it wasn't the first time he hadn't gotten along with a fellow Hero, and it wouldn't be the last. Seeing as how the man had to be blackout drunk to say anything remotely kind to him, Toshinori knew he had to pick his battles.

But that seemed to not be working out anymore.

Now, Present Mic was looking concernedly over at him as well, and he wasn't being subtle about it either. Thirteen had been gushing about a section of the documentary centered around the Eastern Siberian Mountains, and Toshinori tried to be as engaged as much as he could (she had a hellish recovery from the USJ attack, so she sure as hell deserved that much), but the feeling of two additional pairs of eyes on him was making his skin crawl, and he hadn't even touched his drink -

"Yo, All Might!" Present Mic called out from across the common room. "Why are you so quiet all of a sudden? What's with the bad mood?"

That had gotten Cementoss's attention as well. "Is everything alright?" he asked with genuine concern. The gesture was nice, but now everyone was looking over at him.

Great.

"Sorry," he mumbled, running a hand over his worn face. God, he should have just gone to bed. They could deal with one night of him staying out of the party. Now, he had ruined everything -

"Our colleague is dispirited over the incident concerning Midoriya of 1-A," Ectoplasm explained patiently.

As everyone nodded and murmured to one another about this development, Toshinori let the memories of this afternoon wash over him: how Young Midoriya's phone kept going to voicemail, how the older man had been so overcome with worry that something bad had happened to him that he spent a good fifteen minutes in the staff bathroom, barely holding back a panic attack. He had known the green haired boy for a little over a year and half, and he had already held a very special place in the retired teacher's heart. It's why it hurt him when Ectoplasm had told him about the boy's fight with Gentle Criminal and La Brava. He had bested them and got away with little to no injuries, but why didn't his successor tell him what was going on? He wouldn't have been in any trouble. Ectoplasm and Hound Dog were out patrolling for a reason, and they would have taken over without hesitation. They wouldn't have faulted him for deferring to his teachers - Hound Dog told him that.

Why did Young Midoriya never tell anyone anything?

Did he not trust him?

What was he doing wrong as a mentor?

"He's always doing this, shouldering these burdens by himself. It's like he's incapable of reaching out for help…" Toshinori muttered, sighing heavily.

"Hey, are you seriously getting drunk off of this non-alcoholic stuff?" Midnight teased as she took his drink and double checked the label, admittedly looking more troubled than her comment let on.

The older man pinched the bridge of his nose as he closed his eyes. "This is serious, Midnight," he said as patiently as he could. "First Hosu, then Kamino Ward, and now this? Clearly this is a recurring issue with Young Midoriya, no matter how many times we get onto him about it. I'm terrified that this will get him killed."

Aizawa's expression was grave as he shook his head and muttered, "Yeah, and that sounds just like a certain hero we all know, doesn't it?"

And that did it for Toshinori.

He tried to stay calm, he really did. He could hear Nana's steady voice telling him, "Count to ten. Get control of your temper." But something about Aizawa's remark had made him so angry that it overtook the remaining rationality he had been operating on. He had initially been planning on removing himself from the situation entirely and sleeping it off, but protective rage and unresolved tension between the two put the retired hero on the offensive.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he snapped, trying to calm his shaking hands as he shot to his feet.

The common room was deathly quiet now, the tension so heavy it could be cut with a plastic knife. Knowing that the raven haired man would undoubtedly want to have the last word, he preemptively shot a hand up to stop it. "Actually, don't answer that question. I have something that I've been meaning to say for quite a while now."

He began pacing back and forth, trying to count to ten as Nana had always told him to do when his emotions began getting the better of him. As much as Aizawa had infuriated him in the moment (and since the first of school, if he were being honest), the rest of his colleagues didn't deserve to see him lose his temper on them.

"Aizawa, I know that you'll probably never get along with me, and that's something I've grown to realize and accept. But whatever negative feelings you have towards me have nothing to do with Young Midoriya!"

The other teachers looked amongst each other in varying degrees of surprise and uncomfortableness before staring at Aizawa, who for his part, looked unflappable.

"What are you getting at, All Might?"

"We both know what I'm talking about, so don't play ignorant," All Might responded. "You've had a bias against him since the first day of school, placing him last in your Quirk Assessment Test and threatening to expel him in front of his classmates over his -"

"I was trying to be realistic," Aizawa interrupted, setting his beer down. "He can't keep hurting himself every time -"

"What exactly are you doing to remedy that?" Toshinori asked, his voice getting louder. "All I've seen you tell Young Midoriya is for him to figure it out himself! For that matter, that's all you tell the rest of his classmates as well! Young Kaminari risks brain damage every time he misuses his Quirk, and Young Aoyama -"

"They've had their Quirks for well over ten years, Yagi," Aizawa impatiently said, getting to his feet. "If they don't have control over their Quirks by now, why are they even here?"

Midnight raised a placating hand, her eyes darting between the two men.

"You have a point, Yagi," she interjected. "But so does Shota. The kids should have been regularly seeing a Quirk Counselor starting in elementary school. Surely it should have helped."

The retired hero closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. He had wanted to keep One For All and Young Midoriya's past Quirklessness a secret for a reason. Not only was it not his place to go around telling everyone, but it had been for his own protection - especially with the League of Villains and All For One actively targeting the school. But as the saying went: the road to hell was paved with good intentions. In his efforts to protect his successor, it seems to have only caused other ultimately unnecessary problems for him in the long run.

Would there ever be a moment where he wasn't failing his boy?

"I understand where you're coming from, Midnight," he slowly started, not exactly sure where to get where he was going with this. "but Quirk Counseling isn't infallible. And as for Young Midoriya… he didn't get his Quirk until last February."

Silence. Dead, heavy silence.

Out of the corner of his eye, understanding dawned on his colleagues' faces as they exchanged unreadable looks amongst each other. A part of him felt vindicated when he saw Aizawa's brow wrinkle in confusion, but that opened yet another can of worms that he was too angry to keep closed.

One problem at a time. Potentially letting them know the truth behind One For All could come later. Right now, he needed to know why Young Midoriya's homeroom teacher looked so uncomprehending of this revelation of his.

"His Quirk manifested late for his own protection. Had he not had the physical conditioning and muscle mass he has now, it would have killed him. It was in his file that he got his Quirk Status changed the week before the school year started," Toshinori said slowly, disbelief slowly overtaking the anger previously coloring his voice. Surely the younger man at least read his students' files before school had started? Right? Surely, he wouldn't be that negligent. "Did you not read it? Did you not read any of their files?"

The silence that followed his question said it all.

Hound Dog was glaring at the man, crushing his empty beer can in his hand, and even Present Mic shot his best friend a soft, "Seriously, Sho? What the hell?"

"Prejudices exist," Aizawa said, trying to justify himself. "History can be misleading. I'd rather get to know my students as they are now than have my judgment clouded by someone's opinions on them from elementary and middle school."

It took everything in Toshinori to not hit his head against the wall over and over again (it was right there, just another two or so steps). In theory, Aizawa was right on the nose. People changed, especially children. It's why their end of term report cards included comments from the teachers; it was the best way to document these changes. For that matter, teachers could be biased, prejudiced even. The myriad of cases of teachers falsifying student records due to Quirk related discrimination said as much.

But how could Aizawa, a man who prided himself for his logical decision making, be so perceptive yet so obtuse?

"I understand that, Aizawa, and you're right to a degree," The older man conceded. At least the sheer disbelief was calming him down before he well and truly lost his temper. "But have you considered that as well intentioned as that line of thinking may be, it's led you to form prejudices of your own?"

He had clearly hit a sore spot, given how Aizawa glared at him.

"They're not prejudices," he ground out through gritted teeth. "They're rational observations -"

"You saw a child struggling with a strength enhancement Quirk, automatically equated it with me, and proceeded to mistreat him over it. You wax poetry over how biased society is towards powerful, flashy Quirks, yet you completely neglect to help the students you have that are negatively affected by that belief. You also saw another child with a flashy and powerful Quirk, yet you turned a blind eye to his horrible behavior due to his 'hard work'. If that's not prejudiced, then I'm the Pope."

At the mention of the blonde, red eyed boy, Cementoss fished out a value sized Aspirin bottle, popping one in his mouth before handing the bottle off to Ectoplasm. Despite having been expelled back in September, the mention of Young Bakugou was still a headache trigger for his colleagues.

"He was a hard worker…" Aizawa doubled down, seemingly realizing how hollow the reasoning sounded.

"Hard work doesn't justify bullying!" Hound Dog growled, stalking towards the younger man. "As a homeroom teacher, it's your responsibility to make sure your students have a healthy environment to grow in!"

As the counselor dissolved into a mess of growling and barking peppered with "Aizawa" and "emotional negligence", Vlad King guided him outside to help him calm down. As the door to the courtyard was quietly shut, everyone's attention turned back to the man currently in the hot seat.

"I'll admit to my own shortcomings as a mentor," Toshinori said to get things back on track, "because when it came to Young Midoriya and Young Bakugou, I was unable to see the forest for the trees. I also thought that their relationship was a long-standing rivalry that needed to be worked through, but I should have stopped and asked myself this a long time ago: does a rivalry involve such one-sided animosity?"

"That's why I paired them against you for the final exams. It was so they could learn to work together -"

"Again, the final exams showed that this lack of cooperation was a one sided problem, Aizawa." Toshinori bluntly interrupted. "May I remind you that Young Bakugou not only assaulted Young Midoriya for attempting to follow the directions of the exam, but he told me point blank that he would rather fail outright than cooperate with Young Midoriya? In what way does that indicate an issue on both ends?"

Aizawa bit on the inside of his cheek, crossing his arms defensively.

"That's not even counting the Battle Trials, which is also my mistake. Young Bakugou was attacking with lethal force, and the only thing he said to me when I warned him to stop was: 'he won't die if he dodges.' He knew he could have killed Young Midoriya, but he didn't care."

"Damn," Snipe muttered from next to Cementoss, shaking his head.

"As I said before, I'm also not blameless when it comes to this. I should have stopped the match right there and lobbied for a stronger punishment. But do you remember what you said after seeing the recording? 'Grow up already. Stop wasting your talent.' You said this in response to him knowingly nearly killing another student -"

"You've made your point, Yagi!" Aizawa warned, his voice raised as he glared up at the older man.

"And their fight the night of the Provisional License Exam," Toshinori continued, his own voice growing louder. "Footage from the Camera-Bots showed Young Midoriya attempting to leave and deescalate the situation, only to be stopped by Young Bakugou, and yet you decided that Young Midoriya was equally at fault for what happened. In light of all of this, let me ask you this: do you hate Young Midoriya?"

He thought that Aizawa was going to go to the grave before giving an answer, given how he gripped his bicep and glared at him. but to his surprise, the Underground Hero shook his head.

"No. I don't hate him."

Present Mic scoffed, shaking his head in what seemed to be disappointment as he stared up at his friend.

"Well, that's what it looks like, Sho," he said with a grave look on his face. "Do you ever think about how you sound when you talk to him, or how it comes across when you talk about him to us?"

The Underground Hero couldn't quite hide the betrayal he felt, but it was mitigated by the guilt and knowing shame he was fighting not to express. It seemed like he wasn't used to Present Mic going against him in matters like this.

"The rest of us," the English teacher motioned to the other teachers, "really enjoy having Midoriya in class. He's kind, cooperative, and incredibly smart." His point was punctuated by Midnight, Cementoss, and Ectoplasm nodding in agreement. "You, on the other hand… you're constantly calling him 'Problem Child' and you don't acknowledge him unless you're threatening to expel him, punishing him, or otherwise criticizing him for something. Come to think of it, I've only heard you say one positive thing about the kid. One, and it wasn't even about him alone. Can you really blame people for thinking that you hate him?"

Aizawa slowly shook his head, sinking back into his chair with an uncharacteristically troubled look on his face.

"I just don't want him to get himself killed with his recklessness," he said more so to himself as he stared at his lap.

"There are way better ways of showing it instead of acting offended by his very existence," Midnight piped up, looking thoroughly unimpressed with his answer. "You can't treat people like this and expect them to completely trust and rely on you. Why else do you think he keeps going behind your back and getting into dangerous situations? For that matter, why else do you think your students are terrified to come to you for any questions they have on their assignments or anything else school related?"

Frustration clouded the younger man's face as he shrugged his shoulders.

"Trust and respect is a two-way street," Ectoplasm said. "Midoriya has been making wonderful progress in regards to his Quirk control, but that effort rarely goes acknowledged."

"We understand the hardships you've endured as a Hero," Cementoss added. "But you shouldn't take your negative feelings out on your students. They've done nothing to deserve that behavior from you."

"Your expulsion record speaks for itself," Snipe said, having been silent up to this point. "If it were just a handful of kids, we wouldn't think anything of it. because some of them just aren't cut out for heroics. But over 100 students? Something's clearly not adding up, and it's not the kids."

Aizawa opened his mouth, then closed it. For someone who always needed to have the last word, it was a little disorienting for Toshinori to see him at a loss for words. Though he still looked unflappable for the most part, the way his eyes moved showed that his colleagues' words clearly hit home for him. But whether or not he took these words to heart was something that was left up in the air.

After all, Aizawa was an incredibly stubborn man.

[bobbiworks]

Beyond the Bell's Chimes | Part 17

RIIZE fanfiction: Wonbin, Eunseok, Seunghan, Shotaro, Sohee, Sungchan, Anton, Original Characters

Genre: Youth, Teenage Romance, High School, Friendship, Angst, Fluff, Fanfiction

Updated the error.

Sohee was already engrossed in discussing plans for their upcoming event. He had stayed up all night brainstorming potential members for the boy band "Mars Club" and was eager to share his ideas with Suyoung and the rest of the class.

"Mars Club, that sounds cool. It feels like a real band," Suyoung remarked after reading the plan. As she perused the list of potential members, she noticed Wonbin's name.

"You got his agreement, right?" Sohee asked her, unsure whether Wonbin would be willing to join given their recent interactions.

At that moment, Seunghan entered the room, and Sohee eagerly approached him. "Yo!" Seunghan greeted him warmly, and Sohee wasted no time in offering him a spot in the band.

"Only if I can be the face of the group," Seunghan quipped with a wink and a laugh. Sohee agreed with a grin, sealing the deal.

Sohee then turned to Suyoung and gave her a thumbs-up sign, indicating that Seunghan had accepted the invitation. Soon after, Wonbin arrived, and Sohee greeted him as he took his seat.

"Wonbin, you're part of the band," Sohee declared. Wonbin, initially appearing uninterested, sighed and reluctantly nodded, agreeing to join.

Sohee jubilantly pumped his fist in the air, while Suyoung couldn't help but be impressed by how Sohee handled the two guys in joining his band. It seemed like he has a charm to make the coldest personality to warm up a bit.

"Okay, just one more person to complete the team," Sohee announced, creating a sense of anticipation in the room. As he walked around the class, everyone wondered who the last member would be. Finally, he stopped at the door and pointed at Jiwoo, who had just entered the room.

"You! Shim Jiwoo, you're the manager!" Sohee declared.

Everyone turned to look at Jiwoo, who had a different appearance that day, with her hair styled in lower twin buns adorned with light green ribbons. It was a striking change from her usual free-flowing or loosely tied hair.

Sohee was momentarily stunned, mistakenly thinking Jiwoo was a classmate. He apologized and quickly realized that it was indeed Jiwoo.

"Sohee," Jiwoo said, "stop joking," with a pout, before making her way to her seat. She happened to catch Wonbin glancing at her.

"You look adorable with that hairstyle," Suyoung complimented Jiwoo as she sat beside her. "Is it a new look?"

Jiwoo shook her head. "No, my mom did it for me," she chuckled.

"No, it suits you really well!" Suyoung said, tapping her hand playfully.

"Thank you," Jiwoo responded shyly, feeling good despite her anxieties related to Wonbin. But Suyoung then called out to Wonbin.

"Hey, Wonbin, Jiwoo looks nice, don't you think?" Suyoung asked, drawing the attention of their classmates, especially Seunghan.

However, Wonbin ignored Suyoung, and this caused others to start discussing the apparent tension between him and Jiwoo.

"Are they fighting?" one of their classmates whispered to another. Wonbin heard the whispers but remained unfazed, and he didn't make an effort to engage with Seunghan, who had ignored him when they met at the school gate.

Sensing the discord between the three, Suyoung decided to inquire about the situation when she met Jiwoo in the washroom.

"Are you okay?" Suyoung asked Jiwoo, surprising her with the sudden conversation.

Jiwoo nodded and smiled.

"I can see that Seunghan and Wonbin aren't on good terms. Do you know why?"

"Hmm? I... I don't know," Jiwoo replied, even though she knew that Seunghan was distancing himself from Wonbin due to what had happened the previous night. "I tried to tell him he should talk to Wonbin and resolve the issue..."

Suyoung nodded and then changed the topic. "How does it feel to go from one guy to another?" she asked, teasingly.

Jiwoo felt a sudden rush of anxiety at the question, but Suyoung quickly reassured her that she was joking and left the washroom.

Jiwoo couldn't shake the feeling that she was in a difficult situation. She asked herself if she had done something wrong as she slowly took down her carefully styled hair, undoing her mother's work.

Wonbin, on the other hand, sought some space by heading to the supply building, frustrated by the constant presence of his friends. He wanted to go to the spot where he and Jiwoo had their first proper conversation. However, he encountered Eunseok along the way, and they exchanged meaningful glances.

"Ah, Shim Jiwoo," Eunseok spoke with his cold, deep voice. "She's an interesting one, isn't she?"

Wonbin, irritated by Eunseok's mere presence, retorted, "I couldn't care less about what you have to say," unable to forget the events of that afternoon when Jiwoo and Eunseok were together.

"She said no," Eunseok continued, dropping a bombshell.

Wonbin's anger instantly dissipated. He realized that if he had waited just a little longer, he might have heard Jiwoo's response to Eunseok. He might have avoided making her cry and the subsequent fallout with Seunghan.

"Shit," Wonbin muttered under his breath, overwhelmed by regret. "But that doesn't mean I'll give up," Eunseok added. "I want to get to know her, and I want her to get to know me."

However, Wonbin was too preoccupied with his own thoughts to pay much attention to Eunseok's words. He realized he needed to apologize to his friends and, most importantly, to Jiwoo for the misunderstanding.

Wonbin retraced his steps, inquiring about Jiwoo's whereabouts from Sohee, who directed him to the ladies' washroom. There, he waited for Jiwoo, ready to apologize for his behavior.

When he saw someone coming out of the washroom, Wonbin took a deep breath and hugged the person, expressing his remorse and regret. However, when he pulled away, he realized it was Suyoung, not Jiwoo, in his arms.

Suyoung scoffed, saying, "You didn't even bother to check who it was."

"Sorry," Wonbin stammered, feeling deeply embarrassed. He couldn't meet Suyoung's gaze.

"Whatever," Suyoung replied, walking away without another word, not even looking back at Jiwoo, who had been observing the entire scene. Jiwoo had returned her hair to its natural state, removing the twin buns.

"Wonbin..." Jiwoo said, almost stuttering, as he approached her. "Can we talk?" He attempted to hold her hand, but Jiwoo seemed to have erected a barrier between them.

"About what?" Jiwoo asked as she began walking away, and Wonbin followed her, struggling to find the right words.

"About what happened yesterday," Wonbin said, making Jiwoo stop and turn to him. "Please, hear me out," he implored.

Jiwoo nodded and said, "Then what made you think you were right to act like a jerk yesterday? I asked you and tried to talk to you many times, but not a word came out of your mouth. If you were having a hard time, imagine how difficult it was for us, trying to understand you."

Wonbin realized she was upset, but he couldn't find the words to explain himself. He was feeling guilty and ashamed of his behavior.

Jiwoo's tone turned colder, and she continued, "I don't mind not being friends with you, but I want you to patch things up with Seunghan. He was there for you and will always be."

Wonbin wanted to say more, to explain himself, to tell Jiwoo how he truly felt, but he struggled to find the right words. He finally admitted, "I'm sorry. I really am."

Jiwoo replied, gently jabbing her fist on his chest. "You're such a big baby. You should be sorry. You made me cry last night." She said after letting out a deep breath.

"Are you sure you don't want me to tell you everything?" Wonbin asked. "I can explain but–"

"Time will tell," Jiwoo responded. "Besides, you're having a hard time opening up about it. All I wanted was for you to tell me what's bothering you or what I can do to make you feel better."

Wonbin began, "I promise, you have no idea how..."

"Yes, I have no idea how much," Jiwoo interrupted, offering a meaningful smile. Their conversation ended, leaving Wonbin with mixed feelings of regret and hope.

[behindtheireyes]

When Harley got to the bus station she really had no idea of where she was going but all she knew was that she had to get away from Chicago as quickly as possible. Sitting on the bus with her hood pulled up and sunglasses on to hide the bruising on her face she kept her attention solely on the window doing her best to ignore the efforts of the woman in the seat next to her to engage in conversation. What should have been a very happy moment in her life had quickly turned into a night of absolute terror and fear for her life. She'd barely gotten out of her apartment with her important paperwork and a backpack with a couple changes of clothes while her boyfriend lay passed out on their bed with how much pain she was in.

When she'd told him she was pregnant the last thing she'd expected was for him to accuse her of cheating on him and when she'd tried to talk to him. . . .well the first hit took her by surprise. And each one thereafter only got worse the more she tried to fight back before the kicks to her stomach started. At that point all she could do was curl up in a ball until he tired himself out and pray that she and her baby would survive the night.

The bus stopping drew her attention from the window to the station they were stopping in and at that moment she knew exactly where she was going. Without another thought she grabbed her bag to exit the bus and head to the nearest payphone to call the one person in the world she could always count on.

"Eddie, it's me. . . .I'm at the bus station and I just. . . . ." Closing her eyes Harley leaned her head against the cool metal of the booth and let out a small sob, "I just didn't know where else to go."

@edhellfire

[summerwritesfics]

🏢I Wanna, I Wanna Stay ‘Til The End, Chapter 2 - However Long You Stay Is All That I Am

Pairing: Rain/Kuai Liang Length: 6361 Words Rating: Explicit 🔞 Warnings: Neighbours AU, Modern AU, Friends With Benefits, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Self-Esteem Issues, Medical Procedures, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Past Cheating, Cockblocking (especially relevant in this chapter LMFAO), Anxiety, Eventual Smut, Is it slowburn if the sex is fast but the emotions are slow, Minor Tanleena, 70% of this fic is me cockblocking Rain

I Wanna, I Wanna Stay ‘Til The End Masterlist

Notes: Hurray! Another chapter of another fic I havn’t updated in a while 😭 I’m doing it guys. Heads up, this chapter does have some discussion of past domestic abuse and past infidelity, but it’s kind of still tame atm. As a note before anyone leaves me a comment about it, I am aware that as of MK1 Rain has been given an actual name. I will however, still be referring to him as Ranjit for this story. I already started with that name and I don’t want to change it now. Chapter Title is from “All The Same” by Sick Puppies.

“Rule one of the getting laid guidebook, don't try to fuck someone who has something in the oven.” Mileena sat back in her chair, putting her feet up on the desk. “Rule two, don't have your phone with you, and if you do, don't answer it.”

Rain glared at her, head on the desk. The report had taken him far longer than he'd liked. He hoped to get it done quickly and then return to Kuai's apartment again. He was so close, Kuai was even fighting whatever anxieties he had and flirting back. But by the time he finished the report it was 3am, and somehow he doubted a booty call at that time would go down well, no matter how into it Kuai was.

“Hey, look at the bright side,” Tanya started and Rain aimed his scowl at her now, because what bright side? “You know he's gay, single and, for reasons I can't fathom, down to fuck you.”

Rain stuck his tongue out at her. She had a point though. Kuai was flustered by Rain coming on so strong, but seemed open to it. He flirted back. He looked genuinely disappointed when Rain had to leave. God fucking dammit a hot guy was going to fuck him and then the universe decided to cockblock him. That seemed fucking typical.

“Are you three actually working or are you just having a circle jerk?”

Rain sat up. His glare now on Reiko, standing in the doorway and looking at the three of them with disgust. Why the hell Shao Kahn continued to hire him, Rain had no idea, especially given what he did to Mileena while they were dating.

“Don't you have to be a douchebag somewhere else?” Tanya hissed, and it was obvious she was trying to resist the urge to walk over there and punch him. Rain wouldn't hold her back if she did.

“Don't you have work to be doing?” Reiko sneered back. Rain clenched his jaw as Reiko's gaze landed on him. “Sorry to hear your plans didn't go ahead last night.” Rain snorted, how long had Reiko been listening in to know the details? “Guy must be pretty desperate though if he considered fucking you.”

It was one thing for Tanya to tease him about something like that, but Reiko's tone made it clear this wasn't just friendly ribbing. This was malicious. It was quite frankly gross, how Reiko tried to tear him down for daring to side with Mileena after the breakup. Like Reiko wasn’t the cause of it in the first place.

“Sounds like you're jealous no one wants to touch you,” Tanya snapped back. He wanted to tell her that stooping to Reiko's level wasn't exactly the best idea.

“That's not what your girlfriend thought.” And that was why engaging seemed like a bad move. Mileena was shrinking into her seat, looking like she did not want to be here. Tanya looked like she was about to rip Reiko's head off.

“You know what, my personal life is none of your business,” Rain interrupted, hoping to god he could put an end to the argument before it really got ugly. The last thing they needed was being reprimanded for getting into a physical brawl in the office.

“Maybe you shouldn't talk about it so loudly then.” Okay being the bigger person really isn’t working. Of course it wouldn’t when the person you’re trying to put yourself above was such a condescending asshole. “I really don't want to know the details of some old guy you're going to swindle into having sex with you.”

“Then put your hands over your ears and walk away, no one's forcing you to listen.” Rain tried to ignore the weird twist of doubt now in his head. Swindle into having sex... Was he swindling Kuai into having sex with him? What did that even mean in this context?

“Whatever, I hope the guy figures you out before he gets himself hurt.”

Rain didn't get a chance to retort before Reiko disappeared, turning his back on them and leaving the room. He gave an annoyed sigh, shaking his head as he turned back to look at his friends. Tanya still looked ready to gut someone, while Mileena was staring down at her hands.

“You okay, Milly?” He asked, and Tanya's anger finally faded as she turned to her girlfriend.

Mileena looked up at them and gave a forced smile, “yeah. Let's just pretend that didn't happen.”

Rain wanted to agree except that nagging doubt was back. Mileena and Tanya were his best friends, but didn't coddle him. If he asked if they thought he was in some way tricking Kuai Liang, they would tell him their truthful opinion.

“Do... Do you guys think I'm 'swindling' Kuai to sleep with me?” He asked. He didn't particularly like the look the pair shared.

“I mean, you do seem a little preoccupied with sleeping with him, rather than getting to know him,” Mileena said, rubbing the back of her head.

“I can be interested in sleeping with him and getting to know him,” he argued. “Those two things aren't mutually exclusive.”

“I just think you need to talk to him first, see what he wants from this,” Tanya advised. “I mean he's what? A single 40 year old man? He's probably more interested in someone he can settle down with, rather than rampant sex.”

Rain hadn't really considered that. He'd been so distracted by the fact Kuai was hot and gay he hadn't really thought about what the other man could potentially be looking for in a relationship. Maybe he just wanted someone to fool around with too. But maybe it was like Tanya said and he'd want something serious. Rain wanted something casual, but that didn't mean everyone else did.

“Just be careful,” Mileena said, “he seemed really anxious, and if you aren't on the same page about this, it could really hurt him.”

Rain was a bit of a fuckboy, he openly admitted that, but he never really intended to hurt anyone. Maybe I need to slow it down a bit. 

“Alright, I'll see if I can talk to him.” He wasn't sure if he should do it before or after he had sex with him. He'd just see how things went the next time he saw him, he guessed.

“Good, until then though, we should probably get to work before someone who isn't dickface comes and yells at us,” Tanya said, picking up a pile of paper on her desk. “Did you want to go over the newest marketing pitch again before I send it off?”

“Yeah we should do that,” he agreed, although he knew that part of him would be thinking about the man living opposite to him, and how to figure out what he wants from a relationship.

Kuai hummed to himself walking down the street. It had been a good day. He'd managed to get a good chunk of the first draft done, spoken to Johnny about the scripting of the next book-turned-movie, and managed to get his bubble tea order in one take without stumbling over his words. It seemed a little silly to call that last one a win, but when you were used to always saying the wrong things, getting things right seemed like an accomplishment.

He had mostly been able to put the night before to the back of his mind too. He had thought about it though, while he sat in the park and drank his bubble tea. He really needed to figure out what Rain wanted.

Well, other than sex because that much was completely obvious.

It seemed like Rain wasn't looking for serious commitment. Just because that was how it appeared didn't mean that was what was really going on.

He'd been committed for 15 years, rushed into marriage at 20 and never really knew what it was like to not be in a long term relationship. And look what that had given him? Nothing but pain, emotional and physical. He was still healing from what had happened to him. He wouldn't rush into another serious relationship, he wouldn't let himself be hurt like that again.

He didn't think that Rain would do terrible things to him, but then he hadn't believed his husband would either. The possibility was terrifying to him.

If they could keep things casual in some way, he would appreciate it.

As he approached the apartment, he noticed the very man he needed to talk to was at the door. He looked like he was trying to figure out the trick with the door. The door clicked open and he gave a loud cheer as he did.

“I'm the best around! Nothings ever gonna keep me down!” He sang triumphantly, pumping his fist as he did. It was very endearing.

Kuai bit his knuckle to try and stop himself from laughing. Unfortunately, he snorted very loudly as a result, and Rain's head snapped around. He looked extremely embarrassed that Kuai had just seen that.

“Oh uh. You saw that, huh?” Rain sucked in a breath as he rubbed the back of his head.

“Don't worry, the secret of your dorky side is safe with me,” Kuai teased, trying not to grin. Rain gave a sheepish smile before holding the door open for him. Kuai thanked him as he slipped inside.

“So, I was actually hoping I'd catch you,” Rain finally said, following Kuai over to the elevator. “Given that I still owe you for the cakes, and I was thinking about ordering takeout tonight, I was wondering if you cared to join me?”

Huh. I wasn't expecting that. Maybe he had been wrong about Rain just wanting something casual. Or... was just having a meal together still considered casual? Kuai really didn't have enough experience with dating to be able to say.

Still, I can't really go wrong with free food, can I? 

“That does sound good,” Kuai answered with a smile, just as the elevator doors opened. “What did you have in mind?”

“Maybe a Chinese or pizza, whichever you prefer.” Rain lent against the wall of the elevator and the smile he wore made him look so handsome Kuai had to physically restrain himself from swooning.

“I could definitely go for a pizza right now,” Kuai replied, brushing his hair out of his eyes. He bit his lip. “I was hoping to talk to you, actually.”

“Huh, no kidding?” Rain hummed, pursing his lips. “There was something I was hoping to talk to you about too.” He grimaced slightly, “although it's a little personal, and we should probably wait until we're in my apartment.”

Strange. But Kuai smiled still and answered “ah, what I wanted to talk about may be better for a private place too then.”

Rain looked like he wanted to ask, but then the doors opened, and the subject was dropped and they exited as Rain asked “so, how was work today?”

“Pretty well, actually,” Kuai replied, “I made good progress on a couple of my current projects.”

Rain pursed his lips, “I don't think I've actually asked what you do for your job?”

He was right, now that Kuai thought about it. Between the questions they had asked each other and the growing sexual tension between them, the nature of their work life hadn't really come up.

“I'm a writer,” he explained, trying to figure out how in depth he wanted to go. He was well known, although not to the level of being stopped in the street like Johnny was. But at the same time, a few of his books had been made into blockbuster movies. “Currently working on a first draft of my next novel, as well as helping a friend with scripting a movie based on one of my others.”

He maybe shouldn't have mentioned the last bit when he noticed how wide Rain's eyes had gone.

“Wait, one of your books is being turned into a movie?” Rain sounded completely astonished. Even as he got his key out and tried to put it in his lock he was still looking at Kuai.

“Technically it's the third to be adapted,” Kuai admitted sheepishly. He didn't usually talk much about the movies. Not because they were bad or for lack of involvement, they were actually fairly faithful and he was involved every step of the journey.

No, it was more because after learning just who was involved, people suddenly were a lot less interested in Kuai Liang and far more interested in using him to meet world famous actor Johnny Cage.

Johnny was understanding. The last thing he wanted was Kuai being hurt because someone had carelessly used him as a gateway into fame.

“Wow, holy shit, that's amazing,” Rain stated, finally looking away long enough to actually get his key in the lock. “My brother is an actor.” Kuai felt a little apprehensive. He'd heard “my family members an actor, can you get them a part” before. Kuai still followed Rain into his apartment regardless. “Well... He's been in movies... as an extra.” Rain sighed as he shut the door behind Kuai and threw his keys onto a little table beside the door. “Although the way my family talks about him, you'd think he was Johnny fucking Cage.”

Kuai laughed nervously, partially at the mention of his dear friend, and partially because Rain's tone sounded extremely bitter. I get the feeling things aren't good with his family relationships. Still at least Rain wasn't pushing to know more about the films, or if Kuai could get his brother a better role in future ones.

“So, you never told me what you do?” Kuai tried to divert the conversation as he looked around the room. Observing at Rain's furniture, he suddenly understood the comment about Kuai's matching. There was such a mismatch of different styles and patterns.

If he was completely honest it was all extremely hideous but he knew that was just his personal opinion and definitely not a welcome one.

“Oh. Uh, nothing as exciting as you, by the sounds of it,” Rain replied, walking over to a drawer in his living room, and rooting through it. “I'm a Sales and Marketing executive.” He pulled out a pizza takeaway menu. “I'm basically behind a bunch of adverts and selling our products to clients, y'know basically making sure people actually want to buy our stuff.”

“I don't know, I think that sounds extremely interesting,” Kuai said, accepting the menu when it was offered to him. He already knew what he wanted, but it didn't hurt to pretend to look. “The closest to a normal job I've ever had was when I was 16 and doing weekends at the gas station.”

“Huh, you must have lived the starving artist life for a while then?” Rain questioned, flopping down on the couch and patting the seat next to him.

“Ah, not really. I married my ex-husband at 20 and he was ridiculously rich.” Kuai absentmindedly sat down, eyes still on the menu, trying to make sure the pizza he wanted was still available. “I technically didn't have to work, but I got bored quickly, and began writing to keep myself entertained. Sent my first draft to a couple of publishers one day on a whim, lo and behold one of them loved it and the rest is history.”

“I- Oh. Your ex-husband?”

Kuai paused.

He hadn't even realised he'd mentioned his ex. Shit. It had been a slip up, not a major one mind, but enough to make him feel apprehensive. Because usually when he mentioned him, people immediately felt entitled to know why they split up. Kuai didn't enjoy talking about that with his therapist, let alone to people he barely knew.

“Yes I was married for 15 years,” he explained, “we divorced 5 years ago.”

“Oh, sorry to hear that,” Rain said sympathetically. “Why did you split?”

“We-“ Kuai stopped himself.

He was going to say they drifted apart but that just felt wrong to say. They didn't drift apart, Kuai just finally grew tired of the cycle. His husband berating and hurting him and then showering him with adoration and gifts. The promise that it would never happen again, only for a few days to go by and it to all start over. He would never forget the night he finally attempted to leave. He'd never forget hands on his chest, pushing at him and the sensation of falling down the stairs. He'd never forget waking up in the hospital to his husband swearing up and down Kuai had slipped and fell. He'd never forget the desperation he felt when he finally managed to slip the nurse a note that just read “he's lying, please help me”.

He took a deep breath, now was really not the time he wanted to talk about this.

“He just wasn't the man I thought I'd married,” he settled on.

Thankfully, Rain didn't seem to push for more info than that. Maybe it was clear the subject was too painful for small talk.

“Anyway,” he said with a cough, seemingly wanting to move on. “Did you decide what you want?”

“Vegi-surprise, please.” He passed the menu over to Rain, trying to smile and put the memories to the back of his mind.

“Vegetarian?” Rain questioned as he took the menu and got his phone out and started putting the number in.

“Ah, no, I just prefer vegetables on my pizza,” he explained, just before Rain put the phone to his ear.

He kept quiet as the order was made, wondering what the rest of the evening would bring.

“I can't believe you are partially behind that jingle,” Kuai exclaimed after swallowing a mouthful of pizza. Rain had been telling him about some of his previous advertising campaigns, and a very well known and annoying jingle for Outworld Superstores he'd had a part in creating. “It was stuck in my head for months!”

“Yeah, sorry about that,” Rain said with a grin. He wasn't the person who performed or wrote the jingle, but he was the one who had suggested it and given it the green light. He had been repeatedly told it had ruined people's lives with its earworm nature.

It was weird. Rain didn't consider his job exciting at all. Not that he regretted it, just normally when he talked about the ins and outs beyond specific adverts, people tended to zone out. Kuai on the other hand seemed fascinated. And here was Rain thinking he'd be the one asking all the questions about Kuai's job.

Actually, Kuai had barely talked about his work, it was a little strange. He was accomplished enough to have movies made from his books. Surely that was something to brag about? Kuai was probably just more humble than Rain could ever be. Years of his accomplishments being completely ignored in favour of his brothers meant he felt the need to be bold and push them to the front.

Now that I put it like that, maybe that is more a me issue. 

He was sure Kuai would open up more as time went on. Both on his work and the mysterious ex-husband he mentioned. Rain wasn't an idiot, he could tell whatever caused them to split up was painful. He hadn't pushed, it wasn't his place. The only thing about it that bothered Rain was Tanya and Mileena's earlier warnings that Kuai might be looking for something more serious.

And 15 years sounded pretty fucking serious to Rain.

He turned to Kuai with the intention of finally bringing the subject up, only to stop when he saw the other man. He had a small amount of dip on the corner of his mouth.

“Ah, you uh- you've got a spot on you,” Rain informed him, tapping the corner of his mouth, as an opportunity came to his mind.

Kuai reached his hand and wiped his mouth, "is that better?"

Rain scooted forward, reaching a hand to Kuai's chin. "Here, let me~" he purred, before leaning in to kiss the other man.

So much for talking about things first. Kuai made a surprised huff, but it didn't take long for him to lean into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Rain's shoulders. Kuai opened his mouth and Rain took the chance to slip his tongue in. He was delighted to feel Kuai's tongue mingle with his own.

He began to shift, gently pushing Kuai back down against the couch. Rain's hands fumbled with Kuai's shirt, trying to undo the buttons. He released Kuai's lips, trailing kisses along his neck instead. Kuai moaned as Rain managed to brush aside Kuai's shirt. He pulled back slightly, just enough to observe the other man below him. Kuai was surprisingly fit, not too muscular, not too lean. His chest was covered in scars, some looked like they had potentially been from surgery, while the others he had no idea what could have caused them. Now was not the time to ask. He'd been so distracted by the scars, he'd barely registered that the other man's nipples were pierced.

Holy shit, how the hell does this man seem to fit every niche I’m into? 

“God, you're so fucking hot,” he muttered, before leaning down pressing his lips between the other mans pecs.

“R-Rain,” Kuai whimpered as Rain continued to kiss down Kuai's torso. He mostly followed one of the scars that seemed to go mostly down the middle. Kuai continued to make sweet little noises, even arching his back as if to push himself closer. He continued down, meeting Kuai's navel and slipping his tongue out and swirling it around the man's belly button.

Rain searched for the buttons on Kuai's jeans, undoing them before hooking his fingers in. He lightly tugged on the item of clothing and-

He jumped a mile when his door buzzer went off.

He sat up and stared at the intercom, before looking down to Kuai Liang. His face was bright red as he looked across at the thing that had interrupted them.

“S-should you get that?” Kuai asked, looking up at him while biting his lip.

“They can wait,” Rain decided, turning to settle back between Kuai's legs. He trailed his hands down Kuai's sides, leaning down about to kiss him. He stopped when the buzzer went off again. He grit his teeth, wanting to ignore it, until the buzzer started to rapidly go off, like someone was repeatedly pushing the button in quick succession. He gave an annoyed sigh as he pushed himself up. “Sorry, I'll just deal with this.”

God he was so fucking annoyed. As he got up and walked over to the intercom, he couldn't help but mentally berate whoever was on the other end.

He clicked the button and sharply answered with “Yes? What do you want?”

“Nice to talk to you too, Ranjit,” the familiar voice spoke back. Rain mentally groaned.

“What are you doing here Taven?” He reached a hand up to rub his temples. The last thing he needed was his brother coming over to pass judgement on how this place really wasn't up to scratch.

“I mean, I am your brother,” Taven replied. “But mostly I need to talk to you about something important.”

“Can't it wait? I'm kind of in the middle of something here.” He glanced over his shoulder. Kuai was sitting up on the couch, fiddling to redo his fly up. Shit shit shit. He wasn't going to let Taven ruin this for him. Not again. He thought he was done having family members walking in on him “accidentally”.

“No not really,” Taven said, sounding annoyed. Not as annoyed as I am. “The sooner you let me up there to talk, the sooner I'll be out of your hair.”

Rain made a frustrated hand movement, before dragging it down his face and finally biting out “fine, but you'd better be quick.” He hit the button that would let the door open, waiting to give Taven enough time to get through.

He turned back to find Kuai had already done up his shirt, although he was still sitting on the couch. He looked extremely embarrassed and Rain couldn't help but feel sorry for him.

“Should I leave?” Kuai asked quietly.

“No, no, it's okay. Hopefully this'll be a few minutes tops.” Rain held his hands up, hoping it might help calm Kuai down. There was a knock on his door, and he went to open it. He was rather thankful that it was just Taven on the other side.

“So, uh, this place is where you're hiding huh?” Taven said in greeting, looking around the place like he was expecting someone to jump out at him. Rain wanted to roll his eyes so badly. “Am I allowed in?”

Rain didn't want to let him in, but he supposed it would be rude not to. He reluctantly moved aside. Taven stepped in, looking around like he was trying to scope the place out. He did a bit of a double take when he spotted Kuai.

“Oh, uh, hello?” Taven sounded confused, and Kuai looked completely out of his depth.

“Hi?” Kuai squeaked out, looking desperately towards Rain for help.

“That's my neighbour, Kuai Liang, and this is my brother, Taven,” he introduced, gesturing to each of them as he spoke.

“Oh, you didn't say you had company,” Taven said, biting his lip.

“I did say I was in the middle of something,” Rain pointed out to him, trying to not just scream in frustration.

“Uh, would- would it be better if I left?” Kuai asked again, clearly getting nervous.

“Yeah, that might be for the best,” Taven said before Rain could open his mouth to reassure Kuai it was fine.

He watched as Kuai nodded in defeat, before pushing himself up and grabbing his bag. As he made his way towards the exit, he paused briefly to give Rain a small smile.

“I'll see you later,” he whispered, before turning and leaving, closing the door behind him.

Rain just glared at Taven as he growled, “well now you've cockblocked me, you might as well tell me what the fuck you want?”

Taven shook his head in shock as he muttered “coc- huh?” He blinked a few times, “oh, my god, Ranjit, you weren't actually going to have intercourse with your neighbour were you?”

“Why do you have to refer to it like that?” Rain groaned. Why can't he just call it fucking like everyone else? “Yes, I was going to fuck him, but seeing as you've kind of ruined that plan could you please tell me why you're here?”

Taven looked like he wanted to say more on the subject of Kuai Liang, but eventually settled against it when he said “Mom's birthday party is next Friday.”

“And?” Rain rolled his hand to try and get Taven to get to the fucking point already.

“Well, I've been texting you asking if you're coming, and you've just left me on read.” Much to Rain's annoyance, Taven walked over to his kitchen, and settled down on one of the stools at the breakfast bar.

“I don't know if you know this, Tav, but I've been rather busy lately,” he snarled, while flailing his arms to the apartment around him.

“So too busy to send me a one word text, but not to try and seduce your new neighbour,” Taven replied, crossing his arms. “Seriously, you've been here two days. You don't even know the guy.”

“I know he's hot and I want to fuck his brains out, the rest is none of your fucking business,” Rain argued, storming over to the kitchen counter. “As for the party, I don't know yet.”

“She's your Mom-“

“No. She's your Mom! I'm nothing to her! The only reason I'm around her is because Dad couldn't keep his cock in his pants!”

The outburst lingered in the air, thick and heavy. It was a button Rain hated being pressed, Taven knew it was and yet he still insisted on bringing it up. In Delia's defence, on some level she had tried to be a supportive step-mother to Rain. It was clear, however, that her priority lay with her biological children. He knew that on some level she resented him, the constant reminder of her husband's betrayal.

He supposed she had at least tried, unlike his father.

He closed his eyes in defeat as he mumbled out, “when is it?”

“Next Friday at 6.” Taven was still looking at his hands. “If it helps, you can bring a plus one.”

“Fine, I'll be there,” he whispered, still not closing his eyes. He had a feeling Mileena and Tanya were busy next Friday, he might have to hunt for another plus one. “And I'll be with someone.”

“Thank you.” Rain opened his eyes, and hated how genuinely grateful Taven looked. “I know she'll be happy to see you there.”

I doubt that. 

“Was there anything else?” Rain asked, rubbing his face with his hand.

“No, I guess I'll leave you be,” Taven jumped off the seat and began to walk towards the door. “But, promise me that you'll be careful with the neighbour thing?” Rain just furrowed his brow at him. “We've been here before Ranjit. You rush into things, it's great for a while and in the end everyone just gets burned because they want commitment you can't offer them.” Taven reached to place a hand on Rain's shoulder. “I know it doesn't feel like it sometimes, but I do care about you and I don't like seeing you get hurt.”

There were so many things Rain wanted to say about that, but just couldn't. He resigned himself and just said “I'll be careful.”

Taven just nodded, wishing him a final farewell and then he was thankfully gone. As he closed the door, Rain rested his forehead against the door, resisting the urge to slam his head against it repeatedly.

Kuai sat on his couch, staring silently at his TV, despite it being turned off. He was more watching himself in the reflection. He was rubbing his fingers across his lips repeatedly, trying to soothe his nerves.

Rain had seemed very upset to see his brother. He wasn't sure if he should have stayed as a mediator, or if he'd made the right call by leaving them to it. Either way, it seemed his talk with Rain was going to have to wait. Well, not that it seemed talking was where things had been going.

It had been 5 years since Kuai last had sex. He’d thought about it a few times, but never worked up the courage. The way Rain kissed him, touched his body. He couldn’t believe how good he felt. It wasn’t until he was in that moment that he realised how much he missed that kind of intimacy. Even when he was married, that softness was limited to his ex’s good days, that man was a very selfish lover.

He didn’t want to think about that, he wanted to think about how wonderful it had felt for Rain to touch him.

So much for talking about things though. He sighed, and rubbed at his face. All it took was a kiss and I was spreading my legs for the guy. It did rather indicate that Rain was more interested in something casual, or at least, more interested in the sex aspect. If that was indeed the case, Kuai could handle that.

He jumped a mile when he heard a knock on his door. He scrambled to get up and rushed over to it. As he expected, once he opened it, there was Rain, looking extremely apologetic.

“I am so sorry,” Rain immediately told him before Kuai could even begin to utter a word. Kuai simply smiled and stepped aside to let him in.

“Don’t worry about it,” Kuai tried to assure him, shutting the door as Rain entered the apartment. He felt a flutter in his chest, realising it was probably going to be now or never in regard to that talk. “Um… So, I think now would probably be a good time to have that conversation.”

“Yeah. Yeah, you’re probably right.” Shang Tsung reached up to rub his face with his hand. “Um. Shall I go first?” Kuai nodded in confirmation. Honestly even bringing it up first was a big step for him, he didn’t think he could handle going first as well. “What exactly do you want from… whatever this is?” Rain gestured towards the both of them as he spoke.

So, we wanted to talk about the same thing. Funny. 

“That is what I wanted to discuss with you too, actually.” Kuai began to rub at his wrist, swallowing as he tried to think of how to explain. “I’ll be honest, I was hoping for something… casual.”

“Casual?” Rain asked, tilting his head. He didn’t look put off though, more hopeful if Kuai was reading him right.

“I don’t think I’m really ready for anything extremely committed.” Kuai bit his lip, trying to ignore how hard his heart was beating. Even though Rain showed no sign of being upset by this, the little voice in Kuai’s head wouldn’t stop telling him the other man was going to leave and never talk to him again over this. “I’d like a companion but not a partner… I don’t know if that makes sense?”

“No, no, that makes perfect sense.” Rain stepped forward, taking Kuai’s hand in his. “That’s what I’m wanting too. Just someone to have fun with.”

“Oh.” Kuai chuckled awkwardly. “Well now I feel stupid for being worried.”

“Pth, don’t. My friends kinda got in my head about how you’d probably want something more serious.” Rain rubbed the back on his neck and gave a handsome smile. “So, uh, something like friends with benefits good for you?”

Kuai laughed. Aren’t I a little old to be having friends with benefits? Still, it did sound nice. He didn’t really get to have the awkward early adult phase, it’d be nice to experience a little of what that would have been like. Even if he was about 20 years too late.

“Friends with benefits sounds perfect to me.”

He was surprised when Rain suddenly took hold of his hips and pulled them close. Kuai giggled as their lips almost touched.

“Well then, with that out of the way, where were we?”

Kuai felt a little bold, confidence brought on by the previous conversation, bringing his arms up and around Rain’s neck. He felt Rain pushing him backwards until his back hit the wall. How he resisted the urge to grind against him he had no idea. Rain’s lips were on his, and he opened them hoping for their tongues to meet again. He quite enjoyed that the first time.

It really should not have surprised Kuai when a ringtone started to sound from Rain’s pocket.

Rain pulled away, and grimaced. “I cannot believe this.”

“I’d have thought after yesterday, you’d have learnt to leave your phone behind,” Kuai teased a little, snorting when Rain pouted at him.

“You would have thought I'd have learnt my lesson, wouldn’t you?” He sighed and reached into his pocket, frowning at his phone. “I have to take this.”

Kuai nodded as Rain stepped back and answered the phone. He just stood and watched as the other man got more and more exacerbated. There was a part of Kuai that felt sorry for him, being interrupted yet again, but the other part of him that felt a little bitter that he hadn’t done the obvious of leaving the stupid device behind this time.

By the time Rain was done with the conversation, it was clear he was more than a little annoyed by it.

“Work?” Kuai gently asked, and Rain gave him an apologetic look.

“Unfortunately.” He grimaced and shook his head. “The universe really does not want me to fuck you.”

Kuai laughed despite the situation. It really seemed that tonight was not going to be the night again. But there would always be more opportunities.

“It’s okay, I understand.” Kuai pushed himself away from the wall, stepping forward and giving Rain a quick kiss on the cheek. “I promise I will still be here tomorrow.”

Rain nodded, not hiding the somewhat goofy smile on his face from Kuai’s display of affection.

“I will see you tomorrow,” Rain assured him, patting his arm slightly. All Kuai could do was sigh as Rain made his way back to the door.

As soon as it shut behind him, Kuai flopped backwards against the wall, letting himself slide down it and staring at the ceiling. Honestly, if he were a little more superstitious, he’d genuinely think the constant interruptions were the doing of Bi-Han’s ghost. Big brother always was very protective, and a little too distrustful of just about anyone who found Kuai attractive.

It was a shame he wasn’t there to stop Kuai from getting married. He was certain if Bi-Han were still alive, none of the terrible things that happened would have. He’d have beat the shit out of his ex the second he suspected so much as a finger had been laid on Kuai’s body.

But Bi-Han hadn’t been there, and he wasn’t here now. Kuai just had to believe that all of this wasn’t some kind of bad omen. Like the universe was trying to stop it from happening to protect him.

Not like the universe protected me before. 

He was due to see Johnny again tomorrow, and work together on the next script. He was generally pretty decent at relationship advice. Maybe I should ask him tomorrow? At least get some idea on what to expect and how to maintain the boundaries to keep them both safe.

Until then, well, the whole experience was starting to give him creative inspiration. He finally stood up, and rushed over to where his laptop was, determined to write some notes before he forgot everything he’d just experienced and felt.

⋞ Previous Chapter ≛❀≛ Next Chapter ⋟

[blue-nardo]

"Stitched Apology."

OOC: Welcome back to another episode of OP is writing a fanfic! I was supposed to do one of these before, of Leo and Miyamoto meeting peacefully, buuuuut work takes priority, so I'm sorry to make you guys wait so long for a second update!

Content warnings include implied sexual activities - though done so without the intention of sexualizing the characters - as well as descriptions of injuries and stitches. And heartfelt conversation. I guess. Enjoy!

Leo has a difficult relationship with silence. On the one hand, if he's in a room with other people, it's suffocating and stifling, and it puts him on edge. The same when he's on a mission, looking for something or someone, but having no sound to focus on? It just doesn't sit right with him, and it works his anxiety to levels unlike anything else. 

Right now he's stuck between wanting to stay safe in the quiet, or engaging with the last person on earth he wants to talk to right now; Yuichi. 

His arm stings. Like, it really stings - during the fight he hadn't thought much about the size of the cuts or the fact that they were too deep, too strung out on adrenaline and the focus that's started to settle in his mind when he and his brothers are in a fight. Coming back to wash the Kraang goop off of him had revealed how bad the gashes were - not closing on their own and flowing fresh blood. 

They weren't spurting or gushing, so he was fine on the severed artery front. That being said, they still needed to be stitched, and he knew better than to let his brothers help. Casey or April would have been good options, if they weren't also busy helping Donnie with Sister Kraang. Dad wasn't even an option, because frankly he didn't know anything medically outside of CPR and basic first aid. And Cassandra? No way did he trust her with something like this. 

Leo had been totally fine - eh, more or less - with stitching his arm up on his own, but then Miyamoto and Yuichi had walked in on him, and while the horror in their faces had been funny at first, Leo had quickly realized they were far too eager to help. 

Miyamoto had left them both to get better bandages, to prevent an infection - oh god what would an infection mean with a wound like this? Would he lose his arm? Had they really not prevented the future at all?? - and to keep the wound closed. Yuichi had stayed behind to do the stitching, and loathe as Leo was to admit it, the rabbit knew what he was doing. 

That was not the first time he'd thought that about Yuichi's hands. 

So there he sat, suffering as he silently looked away from where Yuichi was sewing his rough skin back together. It hurt like a bitch, but it had to be done since Leo didn't exactly have a numbing agent in the medbay. Talking would normally be his go to here, to distract himself, but talking to Yuichi? After last night? He'd rather face the Kraang again. 

"... Can I talk to you about last night?"

Guck. 

Leo inhales slow and measured, trying not to flinch at the question. Yuichi is asking to talk to him about the thing he specifically hadn't wanted to talk about. Easy peasy. He could do that. 

"What about it?" he tries to deflect. "The concert was loud. You and your bro didn't like it, so you left early."

He's not looking at Yuichi, but he can feel the expression on his face. It's a feeling he's not unfamiliar with when it comes to stuff like this, but he's really hoping that for once someone takes the bait. 

His hopes are in vain. "I'm sorry, if I lead you on, okay? I… knew what you thought about me, and I used it against you… and that was wrong and cruel of me. And I'm sorry."

Leo doesn't think he could speak now even if he wanted to. His hands are clenched into fists and his jaw is set firm. The cuts on his arm hurt and Yuichi's hands are strong and steady and he is not ready - 

Yuichi tugs on his arm again, pulling the needle through skin and Leo hisses in pain. "I know your brother and sister know. Donatello and Venus? She uh, made it pretty clear how mad they both were, by the way."

Leo had seen the black eye Venus had served when Yuichi came in. Donnie had already told Venus about him and Yuichi when he'd walked in on them, so Leo had figured telling her what happened at the end of the night was fine, since he didn't want her to ask him why he was avoiding the rabbit. He hadn't really been accounting for her to take it into her own hands to serve Yuichi justice but it had been a kind of pleasant surprise to see that she cared… 

"Sorry about that," he flinches as the thread pulls against his tender skin. "I didn't think she was gonna punch you…"

Yuichi pulls the first gash closed, and starts on the next one. "Don't be. I kind of deserved it…"

Leo bites back a sound when the needle pierces his skin again. So much was just happening to him right now that he still wasn't really processing it. He'd been awake last night for sure, having fun and getting off of the thrill of whatever Yuichi wanted to do with him. The Samurai was very easy on the eyes, and definitely knew how to weaponize that. 

Leo hadn't even liked him that much to begin with… So why did he feel so used? 

"Maybe you did," he huffs. He's been holding the high road for too long, he decides. He deserves to be angry and petty. "You went too far…"

The needle falters, and Leo hisses as he realizes Yuichi missed his mark. He sees the rabbit's ears droop a little, but doesn't comment on it. 

"I did. I'm sorry."

Okay, maybe Leo wasn't totally done traveling the high road. He moves his arm a bit to help Yuichi better stitch the skin together, closing his eyes. 

"But… You could have gone farther," he says hesitantly. "And you didn't… Because I asked you to…"

"To deny you that would be dishonorable."

Leo gives him a look at that. The sewing falters. "And what you did wasn't?"

He watches Yuichi's eyes shift to look at him - the ruby red color landing somewhere on his neck, and Leo suddenly realizes his concealer washed off when he took his shower. Shoot. 

"... It was." Yuichi goes back to sewing the wound shut, and Leo can't remember when he's seen the guy in a mood that wasn't ranting about Yokai, being murderous, or straight up goofy. It's weird, and unsettling, and Leo wants nothing more than to hide in his shell and never come back out. 

"And I… Know I should make it up to you. Somehow."

The gash closes, and Yuichi knots it up carefully, before cutting the thread. Leo hesitates, before flexing his arm to test the stitches. Not perfect, he decides, but they'll do. 

"Okay," he says, meeting Yuichi's eyes for the first time since last night. Those same torturous red eyes that had him completely at their mercy the night before. Yuichi looks confused, but hopeful. 

"Okay?"

Leo nods, before shrugging. "I mean, apology not completely accepted right now. I'm still really upset but… if you want to try to make up for it, then I'll let you try."

Yuichi smiles at that, and Leo hates how there's butterflies in his chest when he does. Come on, stupid feelings, don't do this to him now… 

"Then I will do whatever it takes to be worthy of your forgiveness, Hamato."

Yuichi bows his head at that, and Leo bites back a snort. It's a silly gesture to him, but he knows to Yuichi that it's a very serious interaction, so he plays along. 

"Whatever you say. Just don't kiss me again when I tell you ninja are better than Samurai."

Those eyes turn angry again, and Leo relaxes as he sees Yuichi getting worked up. Familiar territory at last. 

"I wouldn't have to find a way to shut you up if you would just stop telling lies," Yuichi hisses, and Leo can't help the laugh he lets out. 

"Whatever you say, Bunny Butt."

"Oh you are so-"

"Yuichi, what are you doing?"

Miyamoto returns with the bandages, and Leo's smile becomes more genuine as he enters the room. There's a certain grace and gentleness to the way Miyamoto moves in a room, setting the bandages down and standing protectively near him. If Leo hadn't already been informed that the brothers were raised by a Lion, their stances alone would have given him the suspicion. 

Yuichi stutters and stumbles over his words, before pointing an accusatory finger at Leo. "He started it! He's - "

"Stitched up and ready for bandages? Good. Your work is incredible as always, little brother. Why don't you go practice your meditation? Karasu-Tengu would be disappointed in your lack of progress."

It's hard for Leo to describe the way Miyamoto talks, but it immediately puts him at ease as he shoots Yuichi a shit eating grin. The hand that Miyamoto rests on his shoulder has the same effect as he leans into the touch, sticking his tongue out. 

Yuichi looks pissed, and Leo briefly thinks back to a similar sight from the night before that gives him a slight shudder before the younger rabbit stomps out of the room, grumbling under his breath. Leo sees Miyamoto roll his eyes fondly, before giving his warm brown eyes and their attention back to Leo himself. 

"He didn't hassle you too much, did he? I know you two don't exactly get along."

Truth be told if Miyamoto hadn't stepped in when he had, Leo's pretty sure he and Yuichi would have started getting along just fine… 

"Nah, he's fine. I was just, uh, well kinda riling him up," Leo chuckles, scratching at the back of his neck. "Not a big deal, really. Thanks."

Miyamoto's smile is kind as he nods his head, before looking over the stitches on Leo's arm. Once he gives the approval, he begins to wrap them, gentle and unpracticed, and Leo has to remind him to tighten them just a bit. As it turns out, medicine is more of Gen's forte than anyone else, even if he tends to exaggerate it. 

"And these are from the fight as well?" Leo isn't sure what Miyamoto is talking about until he feels gently fuzzy fingers pressing lightly into a bruise on his neck, and his face starts to go a light shade of red. 

"Y-yeah, from the fight… got uh, pushed around real rough by a member of the Foot," Leo chuckles, nerves spiking as Miyamoto's hand lightly goes over his bruises. "They're fine, no big deal."

Miyamoto looks like he doesn't believe him, but nods his head, and steps back with perfect posture. "Well then it is my pleasure to announce that you're going to live, Leonardo," he hums. Plenty of hydration and medication, and I'm sure you'll be back in shape in no time."

"Why hydrate when I'm already a tall drink of water?" Leo clicks his tongue and shoots finger guns at Miyamoto, earning a raised brow in return. "But thanks man, I appreciate it."

They exchange a little more conversation before eventually Miyamoto gets the hint that Leo wants to be alone, and parts with him to search for Yuichi again. Leo watches him go with a smile, but the expression fades once he's left alone again, and he flops back against the cot. 

Silence isn't so bad when it's just him, but today it is. This time, it isn't just him… It's him, his thoughts of Yuichi, but more importantly, the look on Casey's face when the Kraang had tried to latch onto his arm… 

Had they really stopped the future? 

[childofaura]

Not to drop in another ask after the recent one but looking at your last post regarding how you want to change Engage’s story….

What are some of the things you want to rewrite and/or change in FE Engage?

I wanted to get to my computer before I answered this one, because I have a LOT to say on it.

I've basically been re-imagining most of Engage's story from the ground up, changing a lot of things to either make the story make have a little more meaning at some parts, or just to satisfy some personal itches I had with the game. I've been doing my best to think of things that would make the story more enjoyable to me overall, though sadly some of it would erase Veyle's established development (but also it would kind of just go down a different path?), and I'm trying to do my damndest to hold onto Hortensia's character arc, lol. So it'd be a LOT of things to change in Engage's story.

I spent nearly an hour typing stuff up but decided to remove it because I MAY want to do a comic someday. But bottom line is mostly this:

Alear and Veyle would be established as Fell Dragons right off the bat in the game. They would also actually transform into dragons (none of that "uwu I hate my dragon form" just because they didn't want to design more dragons. We were cheated of Dragon Alear, Veyle, and Zephia!). The designs would be reminiscent of swans (since Veyle's outfit gives off swan vibes), with Veyle being based off of a white swan and Alear being based off of a black swan. Also Zephia would have a dragon form as well, something along the lines of a vampire bat. Because they're established as Fell Dragons, instead of being worshiped by everyone, they're distrusted and scorned by most of the cast (in varying degrees from mild to more severe), with most of the story having Alear and Veyle needing to earn the trust of the other characters.

Their meeting with Lumera would be drastically changed: Instead of Lumera meeting Alear in the mountains, Alear would have tried to kill Lumera to appease Sombron, but Veyle tags along and is captured by guards, and Alear gives up their fight with Lumera to plead for Veyle to be released. Lumera is moved by this and orders the guards to release the both of them, where she takes them to a separate room alone and makes tea for them. She spends the night talking to them and learning about how Sombron uses them as tools, they bond, and then she lets them go. Sombron is angered by their failure and goes to kill them; Alear, in a panic, defies Sombron and fights him, but Veyle also tries to protect Alear and is injured in the process. So Alear takes Veyle back to Lumera, having nowhere else to go, and Lumera manages to heal Veyle and offers them refuge in her castle. Thus begins Lumera, Alear, and Veyle's bonding, and at some point she adopts the two as her own children. The Sombron attacking Alear at the castle would probably play out the same, but instead Lumera, after giving her Divine Blood to save Alear, would tell Veyle to take Alear and hide somewhere safe, also entrusting them with Marth's Emblem.

For the game's beginning, Alear would have their memories of what had occurred intact (because no more protag amnesia, please), and instead of the Somniel, would wake up in a small isolated cottage where Veyle's been watching over them this whole time (which means Veyle would be with you from Chapter 1). Also a drastic change: instead of starting the game off with Vander, Framme, and Clanne, you'd start off with Mauvier who finds Veyle and Alear alone several years before Alear wakes up, becomes friends with Veyle, and opts to stay to take care of the both of them (this is actually a ruse ordered by Zephia who finds out where Veyle and Alear are hiding, but this is still kind and compassionate Mauvier so he genuinely bonds with Veyle during this time). Once Alear wakes up, this is when they decide to return to Lumera to show her Alear has awoken.

The whole rewrite is still a big work in progress, but to summarize some other changes:

The order in which the kingdoms are visited would be different. Instead of Firene, Brodia, Elusia, Solm: Firene would be first (Instead of Alfred meeting you at the castle, you'd first meet Celine on the way to Firene who asks for your help, and Alfred would be at the castle attempting to defend his mother). Then Elusia, which would be the first and only kingdom that actually worships you as Fell Dragons (However Ivy and Hortensia don't quite join you yet); however this would be for ulterior motives as King Hyacinth wants to use you to counterattack and conquer Brodia as revenge. The war between Brodia and Elusia would still play out, but with Brodia on the antagonistic side instead; however, when Hyacinth tells Alear and Veyle to execute Diamant, they refuse (also gaining Diamant's trust for him to be recruited later).

Sombron's return and Hyacinth's death are still played out the same, but instead of Veyle having a dual personality, Sombron executes his influence over her to simply make her an empty, emotionless drone. With this, both Mauvier and Veyle are removed from your party (as Mauvier would be revealed to be one of the Hounds), and instead of your current party running away, it's just Alear (of course with a MUCH ADJUSTED level design), but after a few turns your party comes in to save the day, with a new alliance from the Brodian and Elusian characters.

Additionally, Yunaka, Lindon, and Seadall would be recruited in paralogues like Jean. There'd be two separate types of paralogues; ones to recruit the new characters, and memory paralogues that explain Alear's Fell Dragon origins. The Emblem battles would be done away with entirely.

I haven't gotten much further than that because there's a LOT of nitty-gritty story stuff I've been reworking in my head, but this is the best that I can summarize of my rewriting. Actually typing it out is VERY messy for me, lol.

[dark-side-blog3]

I play degrees of lewdity! day 2 warning for canon typical violence, noncon, and spoilers

++++

I went into the woods to see if something could interest me. Wenta little far in and heard a wolf howl. FUCK 0x0

++++

I managed to avoid the wolves so now I'm thinking that's only gonna be a problem if you've got beastiality toggled on. Also picked up some arrow heads that I can apparently sell at the museum! And I've got school the next ingame day so now I'm worried how I'm gonna be able to grind and get the cash i need for Bailey while also going to school... There's got to be consequences if you don't go to school, right? Even though this game is focused on fantasy rape? I feel like there are consequences if you don't go to school... Surely...

On the plus side I got hired at the docks for weekends so maybe that'll be good and help me earn some cash!

++++

ROBIN SOLD HER CONSOLE! Is there a way to spot her a bit of cash? :( I took her for a picnic so we had a little bit of fun and didn't end up staying out at night (can you get raped while walking with someone else in this game? Like irl yes but in game? The logic ain't really logic-ing because its a videogame so maybe it cancels out?)

also i found mickey and im trying to get him to purge my records of constant rape from the files and he's kinda weird?

++++

I forgot to save my game file before working at the brothel and I just didn't like it :/

Sooooo I'm going back to my last save which was before school started. I've got to redo all my efforts for classes but whatever :p

++++

Got raped while leaving school. its the cigerette event. Meh :/

++++

ey i am not a catholic but Sydney is amazing. Actually the best character in this game. I hope nothing bad ever happens to him and I will fight for this :) <3 What a wholesome guy.

AH sydney just asked what it means when people flirt with him. I know he's a grown man and can technically engage if he wants but he's so innocent I can't tell him the truth... I comforted him :')

++++

Loft discovered and exams passed eyyyyyy very good

++++

I got raped and they stole my skirt and panties! I tried to walk to the store to buy more clothes but I got accosted on the beach! My character ended up passing out from the pain. When i woke up a different group has stolen the rest of my clothes and collared me, and hypnotised my character to strip instead of concealing any exposed skin, which has six different body-writing phrases!

Fuck!

++++

Robin has confessed that she feels like Bailey is unreasonable :( poor girl.

++++

ROBINS AT THE DOCKS?!?!?!?! SHE COULDN'T AFFORD TO PAY!

Im gonna save here incase i change my mind.

attempted to fight: Lost. Badly. Afterwards, got tossed into the sea without my clothes, got exposure, passed out, woke up with the feat "Alluring" achieved. Robin is still on the boat. proceed to get raped as soon as i wake up again. This is going to be struck from my record.

attempt to take robins place: She's successfully back on shore, I got tossed overboard while stripped and passed out again. Dolphin merfolk played with me though so I stopped being stressed. Swam to shore, and somehow it made my character less stressed. Got swept out to sea. ended up getting picked up by a boat and getting raped, but not by the same people as before. Fuckers tossed me overboard afterwards. Got beat up immidietly afterwards too by another gang of rapists. Robin better be as loyal as a dog to my character after this.

Had just enough energy to go get shackles removed at museum. and woke up in the hospital with doctor harper again. I am now supposed to go to therapy every Friday at the hospital. And I've now been arrested by the police, and am preforming five days of community service.

I took Robin to the hospital. I swear, Robin better be worth all the torment I went through. And there better be a DAMN good reason I have to drag Robin to the hospital after I literally passed out from pain and had to be carried in on a stretcher.

+++++++

Robin has not infact helped at all and has been somewhat useless.

++++

had consensual sex with a guy and it was actually so sweet <3 Askd him to wear a condom for oral sex and he did and he gave praise the whole time, what a sweet guy <3

++++

SOMEONE BROKE INTO MY ROOM WHILE I WAS GONE AND NOW MY PANTIES ARE MISSING???? WHAT THE HELL-- its got to be someone bailey approved of because he's canonically thrown a pervert out when they don't have a reason to be perving in the orphanage, but also??? I've been paying bailey, I've never missed a payment, and I've never fought him. Why??? Is it Kylar?

++++

I am in therapy w/harper, and he wants to hypnotize me. This feels like its about to go horribly wrong. It doesn't tell me what it is exactly when i overwhelmed, so I'm going to have to try really hard to keep my stress down!

++++

Aight I am making another save file with robin cuz i actually really like this timeline even though robin is useless

Also the cream buns are so good that whats his name (sam?) is buying the store next to it, which is great... Except for the fact that this is how i grind out the most cash. And I decided to take on robins debt like a moron.

++++

Kylar is stalking me. Confirmed because something was watching me since i left the house, and I saw him do that horror movie trope with the bus at nightinggale street.

But also i might restart the save because despite taking robins debit robin isn't at school. I'm not paying extra if shes not even here :/

Ah but a quick look at the reddit says this is normal, robin is just getting the fuck beat out of them. Well... Aint nothing I can do about that now.

+++

Got raped while trying to break into houses, and got raped on my way to the hospital for after pills :/

+++

My character is getting raped by rando's so much I'm bored reading the chats and I'm bored documeting them. I'll add anything of note. Like whatever the fuck is up with the mommy kink ginger sewer woman. Did not enjoy that. I am into mommy/daddy stuff within reason, and this was far outside of it.

+++

GOT RAPED AND WE KNOW WHAT HARPER HYPNOITSED ME FOR!! My character now gets aroused with painal, and smacking other peoples asses.

+++

" You chat with Sydney. "No one else has made such an effort to get to know me like this. Not in a long time, at least. I appreciate it." He holds up his holy pendant, kisses it, and places it against your forehead. "Blessings." | - Trauma" UWAAAHHHHH uwahhahanannannmmamammhpmmmhmmmmmmmwuaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh I WOULD DIE FOR SYDNEY ;A; Like the cross thing is... a tiny bit uncomfy, but its known he is such a sweetheart and no one wants to talk to him??? uwahhhhh poor boooyyy..... (I've had some bad run ins with various religious students who were super religious so when I say this crucifix use is a nice one TRUST me its so sweet because I know what threating crucifix use is). SYDNEY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH SWEET DARLING (platonic)

+++

HARPER PUT ME IN THE ASYULM?!?!?!?!?! HE KIDNAPPED ME! AM I IN A SOFTLOCK?! WHAT ABOUT BAILEY?! I HAVEN'T PAID HIM! HARPER KIDNAPPED ME?!?!?!?!?

I'M GOING TO LOOSE MY FUCKING MIND OAOAOBQGOAFACEQWRAGW

[imoutodaughter]

chain of events to analyze

talking to Rome on the dses about asking for what we want and feeling yearning for our partners.

worried because wanted to have some intimate/private time to just curl up in the tent with either of my partners and listen to the loons

it was the last night so the last chance for that to happen

tugged at camille and tried to ask him if we could pretty please do that tonight because it was the last night and I rly wanted to cuddle him in the tent

night goes on more, Amy feels distant as well but want to give her space. she starts talking with Erik lots and they eventually end up cuddling on the beach.

start to feel sad/jealous? I was happy to see her happy and comfy but I wanted to cuddle somebody body to body like that on the trip too, up to that point I hadn't gotten to cuddle up to anyone

|||||| side thing

the sleeping arrangement wasn't really a problem per se but it's just that every night there wasn't really a cuddle or moment of intimacy before I had to go on my separate bed it was just kindof me straight to my separate bed and mom and dad cuddling next to me.. it just contributed to the rly deep want to cuddle as well and felt lil isolating/lonely

|||||||||

at some point camille pointed out how close Erik and Amy were getting and how they were cuddling and stuff, an that kinda brought a bit more attention internally to how i was feeling about wanting some intimacy and attention that night

after a while goes by I retreat to the tent to try and wait for camille to come and to give Amy space to do her thing and try not to let it make me feel jealous or envious, I knew I was starting to feel threatened/insecure in my relationship and felt like it would be better if I just removed myself

i started crying in the tent because I was feeling overlooked and really really really really craving intimacy and started to sortof spiral a bit into my head and feelings of being unwanted and other insecurities boiled up

then camille came into the tent really drunk and started dry humping me and being really silly... i know he was just trying to have fun and unwind and drink and stuff but I just felt very overlooked in that I was kindof in distress and trying to reach out to him about that and it felt invisible to him while he was intoxicated

then he said something about how he was okay with Amy and Erik getting close and I reacted really poorly and muttered "I'm not" and what I think I truly meant by that was "im not in a mental state to process that happening" but that didn't get across to camille.

[[[[[[[[[[[[[[ side

in retrospect I severely regret this part and sphere of things I said and how I acted, Erik was not a threat to me and Amy's relationship, It truly didn't matter to me that she was being close and intimate with him, what was really going on in my brain was that I was in a vulnerable mental state where I couldn't process things like that happening healthily or at all and it went straight to my nervous system

in my heart I love Amy so much and fully supported her freedom to explore intimacy with other people but in that moment because of other things going on in my head i was feeling particularly vulnerable and insecure in my relationships. If it was something she told me about or I learned about even the next day I would have reacted wildly different and I truly feel wildly different about it all than i expressed in my reaction and my words following.

[[[[[[[[[[

after leaving to puke and brush his teeth, camille came back and was too intoxicated to really engage much and jus sortof flopped into bed and at that point I felt like there was no way I was going to get to cuddle anyone on the last night, and the circumstances combined with how I was already feeling triggered me to enter a full on fight or flight state

at this point I was having violent urges to lash out at myself and others, I was having intrusive thoughts about hurting people in the camp and myself

I tried to express this to camille by telling him but it came out very aggressively and threatening and my whole body was in fight mode

my attempts to express the feelings and intrusive thoughts I was having came out just as aggressive threats, I said "I'll go kill both of them right now" "what if I go kill everyone in the whole camp right now"

at some point camille said 2 things,

"why are you always so aggressive with me but not with amy"

and "why don't you go be mad at mommy"

and i can't blame him for anything and my unhealthy reaction is not at all his responsibility or fault but

him saying those in that moment caused me to lose all control over my body and mind, there was so much adrenaline in my system all of a sudden and it's like the controller was taken out of my hands entirely and I ceased to exist while something else took over my body, pure fight or flight..

I don't know what about those words provoked and triggered me so badly but I know they did and instantly after that I shot up, said "ok, ill go kill her right now", unzipped the tent and everything felt like it happened in just a few moments, I walked over to amy and Erik, they looked up at me and asked what was up, I felt a tug inside to stop and my internal voice began screaming to stop and just sit down and stop my body but my body just kept going until I was up against them, I shoved them and tried to separate Erik away from her, I then grabbed her neck and started to choke her, after that she got away and stood up to get away from me and I noticed a pocket knife on the ground and reached for it, as I went to open it Erik reached and took my hand and took it gently out of my hand and thats when my body stopped, and I just collapsed on the ground and started shaking violently, there was so much adrenaline in my system it felt vile.

after that was a mess of words exchanged with amy in the tent where I said so many things I regret, I was still triggered and didn't speak true to my heart at all, I spoke only from a place of past trauma and hurt and began projecting and desperately trying to justify and explain but I failed to be conscious and grounded of the experience and of Amy as a person in that moment and her perspective and feelings. I should have just apologized and owned up immediately in the vein of what I've been able to process since reflecting on it and returning to grounded thinking.

in the morning after I deeply regret not turning around and hugging her when she was braiding my hair. I wish I hugged her close and said I'm so sorry mommy it's not your fault, I love you mommy I never want to hurt you ever and that was unacceptable and I need to step back and work through my own things to be a safe person for you, but I didn't say any of that. I just sat in shame and guilt and regret and quiet. It probably made her uneasy, she needed to know that I wasn't upset with her at all and that I was in a safe headspace to be around and I probably made her very uncomfortable and uneasy just moping sadly afterwards.

I need to learn from all of this, I need to find places where I could have done things different, and I need to really work on actively applying those measures into the future because

I can't afford to hurt anyone else I love

there is a path forward and I just want to take the right one

[harutostablet]

A Day in the Life

Ely found Haru in the kitchen getting his coffee. He smiles softly. "Good morning." Taking a seat, he yawns. "Uh… How are you?" It was weird going back to 'normal.' After such a big fight, even if they spent the night cuddling. Ely forgave but it still happened.

Haru was dressed for work. Another slick suit, hair coifed in a slick polished look, no glasses, but his contact that made his eyes a darker, brighter blue. He smiles a bright genuine smile when he sees Ely. "Hey! Thanks for last night." he set the cup of coffee he just poured in front of his favorite imp since he hadn't drunk from it yet and reaches for another cup. In preparation of making his coffee not taste like coffee, there was sugar and sweet creamer on the island. "I'm alot better," he said while he poured another cup of coffee. "How are you?" he asked looking at Ely with an analyzing eye.

Ely smiled softly as the coffee was placed in front of him, taking a sip and relaxing back against his seat. "You don't have anything to thank me for." He replied as though he were reminding Haru. Letting his tail lazily swing alongside him. "I'm- alright, nothing is different, right?" He replies looking Haru over. "Going to work today? You look nice." Ely wasn't dressed in anything special. Baggy shirt and hoodie over jeans.

Haruto shrugged at the thanking part. "Nope, blissfully the same!" he smiled. Then he nodded. "Yeah, I have to go to the studio and lessons today…nothing too much, but for pictures or whatever…" he moves to the seat beside Ely, maybe moving the seat a little closer "What are your plans for today?"

Ely shrugged, watching Haru sit by him and didn't lose his smile. "Dunno. Nothing yet." He admits. Drinking more of his coffee. "Your day sounds more exciting." He muses. Though wasn't honestly jealous.

Haru shrugs. "Uncle made today light…I think he thinks that I was going to come to work still hungover or some shit…." he laughed. Part of him wished that that would be the stories he would have about turning 21. "It's just work." He looked at Ely. "If you ever want to go with me one day or whatever… just let me know…."he said not trying to press.

Ely chuckled. "Shame you’re not." He joked, thinking it over. "Well, I'm not busy today- so long as your uncle won't be mad with you." He agrees before looking himself over. "Hm… maybe I should change though…"

Haruto gets hyper excited and tries to turn down. "Really! Yeah! If you want… it might be kinda boring… but it would be awesome if you could come!" failed at turning down. Smiling bright

Ely was surprised by the excitement, chuckling a bit as he nodded once more. "Sure- I don't have anything else going on." He nods. Though he did wonder if anyone would care that Haru was bringing an imp with him.

Haru didn't really care, nor was he good at thinking things through so it was fine. "Want me to wait here? Go with you to the dorm? Should we finish our coffee first? We can get coffee on the way too. There's time either way. No rush." he started rambling. This was one of the few good things that happened since he turned 21.

Ely looked at Haru confused and chuckled once more. "I- just finished this one. So, I'll just go to my room and put something more um… nice on." He nods. Putting away his coffee mug before walking out of the kitchen with Haru back to his own dorm. Ely undressed without any real shyness, getting out a button-down shirt and dress pants to change into.

Haruto bounced on the bed like a kid. Making him look dramatically less cool in his nice suit. "Uncle is a cool guy. He won't care. Ayame-kun is my assistant. She's shy but hyper nice. She was just coming to engagements with me, but she comes a lot more now. I have lessons first so I'm going to be dancing. I hope it's not boring. Everyone is not at the studio I practice at…" he continues rambling.

Ely took his time buttoning his shirt while he listened to Haru. Pulling over a simple jacket to keep warm. He didn't look professional, more like a student going to meeting. Looking to Haru. "I'm sure it'll be fun." He says returning the grin.

When Ely's dressed, Haruto reaches for the imp's hand and leads them to the ferry. On the ride over he talks more about the plan for the day as if Ely were the idol. When they are on the other side, a black sedan is waiting for them. A formally dress chauffeur was standing by the back door. Haru didn't break stride when they got off. Only pausing long enough for them both to get into the car.

Ely followed Haru to the ferry and chuckled a bit while listening to him on the way over. He seemed surprised by the car and for a second hesitated to follow Haru inside. Sitting down beside him and sitting rather formally to. He'd never been inside an expensive car before.

Haruto noticed the change in Ely and reached for Ely's hand again. It was just them in the car, so it was okay. No cameras to pretend around. "Are you okay? Do you still want to hang out?" he said a bit worried

Ely looked to Haru after his hand was taken and smiled, relaxing a bit. "Yeah, sorry- some of this- is kinda new to me." He admits but calmed down easily.

Haruto blinks a moment. "Gomen, even when I was little…." he tries to explain. Soon enough the car stops. Haruto gives Ely's hand one more squeeze before letting go. He took a deep breath putting on a practiced, soft smile. When the door opened, he stepped out first to be met by a young woman holding a clip board. There were a handful of paparazzi calling out and snapping pictures of him as he walked. Ely watched Haru get out of the car and flinched seeing all the people- all the flashing cameras. It took him a moment honestly. Stepping out of the car after and walking at a distance. It was easy enough to think they weren't together and given that Ely was similar to a yokai, or lessor folk in japan- he didn't stand out much following the group of staff that trailed Haru from the paparazzi.

Once they were inside, Haruto relaxed a little. He turns around to check on his best friend. The young woman at his side paused abruptly still clutching her clipboard, looking at Ely fully as if she hadn't seen him before.

"Are you okay? I should have said something right? I didn't think about them until we got here…." Haruto rambles again.

Ely nodded once they were inside, glancing up at the woman before looking back at Haru and nodding softly. "Sorry." He apologized again. Keeping his hands at his sides, he minded himself carefully.

Haruto shakes his head. "All of this is hyper, weird, shit if you aren't used to it…" he answers, then following Ely's gaze. "Oh! Ayame-kun this is my best friend Ely." he introduces without a second guess. "Ely this is my assistant when I go to events and stuff…" The young woman would bow to the imp still a bit confused.

Ely returned the bow quickly. "Nice to meet you." He answers, following behind Haru but looking off a bit. He was nervous now. He couldn't explain it, but he felt like he was in a different world. The kind he read about. Princes, royalty, Haru had so much attention. It was far from anything Ely was used to seeing first hand.

"Ono-san," Ayame called to Haruto. "It's time for your lessons." Haruto nodded still looking at Ely. "Okay," he said.

"Ayame-kun, will you look after Ely for me?" he turned his head to look at his assistant. The young woman nodded still a bit confused. Haruto squeezed Ely's shoulder before going off to the locker room to change.

Ely watched Haru go before looking up at Ayame and looking off again. Standing a bit like a butler or servant might. Folding his arms behind his back. He didn't know what to say to the woman, so he just waited for Haru instead.

Ayame watched the imp for a second before gesturing for him to follow her. "Um, so you and Ono-san go to school together?" she tried to make polite conversation. This was her first job after graduating college. She knew to expect certain quirks when working for artists and assumed that Ely was just one of those quirks, like Ono-san wanting to be called by his first name. Ely followed her. "Yes ma`am." He says, even using the English word 'maam' to answer her. Looking around as they walked but keeping his hands close to himself like being in a museum of fine art.

Ayame nodded. She knew that Ono-san also spoke English perhaps that is how the two met. "Can I get you a drink or something?" she asked as they made it into the main room. There were a lot of students already stretching on the floor. If one kept up with pop culture, they would recognize many of the faces. Ayame gestured for Ely to have a seat in one of the chairs against the wall.

Ely shook his head politely and took a seat. He didn't recognize anyone and felt even more out of place without Haru there. Wrapping his tail around himself and softly fidgeting with it.

Ayame nodded and took a seat beside him. A few seconds later, Haruto came out with a serious look on his face wearing shorts, tank top and some beaten up sneakers. He walked right passed the two and found a place on the floor to start stretching with the others.

"It's really weird isn't it?" Ayame whispered to Ely.

Ely flinched hearing the whisper. He looked up and seemed a bit confused. "Hm?" Looking over and watching Haru.

"Seeing people like them," Ayame giggled. "They almost look normal right now." she nodded to where Haru and the others were up on their feet listening to the teacher as the broke down a routine. "Even Ono-san looks more like a normal college student." she giggled.

Ely was even more baffled. "Eh? but- he is… isn't he?" He watched Haru, eyes narrowing like trying to find something he'd never seen before. But- it just looked like Haru to him. The Haru he always knew. Ely rubbed the back of his head. He didn't know an idol from a street kid. And even if he did- Haru was, his best friend.

Ayame giggled behind her fingers. "Just like I thought," she said. Ayame looked at the dancers. Haruto was moving his mouth as if speaking the steps while he practiced. He would frown when he messed up before trying again.

Ely just found himself baffled by the puzzle that was Ayame. Looking back to Haru and watching him carefully. Haru tries so hard to do the best he can at everything he does. Just wanting to make others happy in exchange for his hard work. The imp would easily admit it was far more noble than his own selfish wants.

Ayame was quiet for the rest of the lesson. By the end, Haruto had it well enough, to where he wasn't scowling. When class was over he turned and waved at the two, mostly Ely, as he went for a quick shower and to change back into his idol clothes. He would meet them by the same door they entered.

"What did you think?" he asked Ely. Ayame stood behind him a few steps away giving the illusion of privacy

Ely smiled. "It was- interesting. Dancing seems like a lot of work, I'm surprised you’re not exhausted." He admits. Standing beside Haru.

Haruto chuckles as he heads for the door. Ayame would stand beside Ely and look at Haruto. He sighed at his assistant and nodded going out first to face any paparazzi alone. When enough time passed. She would open the door for them to walk out and get into the car. Once inside, Haruto would have an annoyed expression on his face. It would fade as soon as he saw Ely

Ely caught on to the protocol rather easily. Walking with Ayame and sitting with Haru in the car after some time. He smiled to Haru. "You’re so well liked." He mentions.

Haruto blinks and shakes his head. "That's weird whatever…" he mumbled turning in his seat to face Ely, almost ignoring Ayame. He scratched the back of his head shyly. "I think we're going to the studio next. So, I can record or whatever…" he looked at Ayame for confirmation. The young woman who'd been watching the two like a movie playing out, nodded.

"Hai Ono-san." Haruto nodded and looked back at Ely.

"If it's boring or whatever, I'll ask someone to take you back to the ferry…" Ely chuckled. "Or whatever." He mused, nudging Haru playfully. "I look forward to seeing where you record. Your music is so wonderful, it'll be a neat experience." He spoke honestly, trying to keep his own nerves in check.

Haruto nods a few times, smiling a bit at the nudge. "Thanks…" he said softly. "Ok… " he said looking down shy, much to the surprise of his assistant. She kept it together still watching the two. Soon enough, they arrived at the studio, pulling into the back of the building.

Thankfully there weren't any cameras here. Haruto reached for Ely's wrist, instead of his hand tugging him out of the car. He dropped it as they walked into the building, Ayame following behind. As they walked Haruto tried to explain how the equipment worked to Ely.

Ely felt a little easier getting out of the car without the crowd. Even more relaxed as they walked together, and he listened to Haru talk. Even though he didn't understand most of it, it still made him smile as he nodded along.

Uncle Kenji came with Haruto less and less as of late. Haruto didn’t mind. It usually meant he wasn’t doing anything too crazy that day. It was true at the recording studio. The only people that surrounded them time were the producer and technicians. As soon as they were surrounded people, Haruto put on his pro face once more, leaving Ely in Ayame's care while he talked to the producers. As Haruto was getting ushered into the little box putting on his headphones Ayame spoke to Ely again.

"He's different around you," she whispered from their seats in the sound room behind the music producers.

Ely sat with Ayame and watched Haru inside the recording booth. Looking over to Ayame after the whisper and shrugging with a smile. "Heh. I think I'm different around him to." He admits oddly enough. Watching Haru once more. "So much work, going from dancing to singing, when does he get a break?" He asked, looking back to Ayame. Ely never realized just how crazy Haru's life was.

Ayame looked at the imp confused. She looked down at her clipboard. "Oh, today is an easy day," she said softly. "Usually Ono-san has several appointments. He doesn't even have rehearsal today," she nodded. Time would pass. Haru working on tracks for his album, repeating bit and pieces. It was late afternoon before they wrapped up.

As soon as he was finished he would immediately come out and walk over to Ely. "Are you hungry? Were you bored? Are you okay?" he asked eager.

Ely was pretty relaxed while waiting for Haru,, listening to Ayame the imp could only imagine what a 'busy' day looked like. Perking up a bit when he watched Haru run up to him, chuckling after all the questions. "I'm fine, you did great in there." He mentions. Tail swaying.

Haruto blushes and scratches the back of his head. "Thanks…" he mumbles. He looked behind him at the producers who were also a bit surprised when the usually serious young man was acting his age.

"We are good here Ono-san," said one of the producers. "Good work today." Haruto smiled and bowed. He turned his attention Ayame-kun.

The young woman also nodded. "Good work today Ono-san. Your uncle wants you to give him a call later today."

Haruto turned toward Ely smiling bright. "Are you hungry?"

Ely chuckled standing up. "You already asked me." He teased, before nodding anyway. "I could eat though." He looked to Ayame before looked back to Haru. "Is- there somewhere special you have to go?" He questions. Remembering how there was always people around whenever they went somewhere. Haruto laughs softly. "Ah gomen," he scratches the back of his head again. He leans into whisper in Ely's ear. "I think I'm getting pass for today. Let's go before they change their minds." he nods. He would reach for Ely's wrist again and try to lead him out of the studio

Ely tips his head toward the whisper, surprised when his wrist was taken and lets Haru lead him. "Where to?" He questions.

Haruto holds onto Ely until they are safely back in the car. He lets go of Ely's wrist, searching for his hand now that they are alone. "Want Italian?" he smiled like a Cheshire cat.

Ely walked fast with Haru to the car, being led by the wrist, he was surprised to see how excited Haru was. Sitting down and chuckled. "Italian?" He asks, looking at that smile on Haru's face.

Haru nods. Still hyper geeked by today because this was actually the first day of his 21st year that didn’t suck. "Yeah, I know a really nice Italian restaurant! Unless you want something else… there are a lot of places…."he offers still trying to chill

Ely shook his head. "No, Ke~ Italian sounds nice." He hadn't yet seen an Italian restaurant since he'd come to japan and was curious of it.

Haruto nods smiling, still holding Ely's hand, as he leans forward to name a place through the divider in the car before closing the screen. He flops back on the seat. "It's a really nice place. I like their food." Suddenly, he sits up and appraises Ely's outfit. He nods in approval, before sitting back against the seat, resting his head on Ely's shoulder

Ely relaxed in the car, entertained by Haru's enthusiasm honestly. "This is so different from your life at school. How do you manage it?" He asks, putting an arm over Haru's shoulders as he is laid against. Watching Haru relax.

Haruto thinks about it. "I don't know…" he says honestly. "Like, I've always lived this way…away from Mugen….not recording or pictures or whatever… but like doing stuff with my dad…." He sighs leaning against Ely. "I actually left this shit when I came to Mugen…." he looks up at Ely, his eyes a brighter blue. "I guess Mugen helps me deal with all this stuff. Grounds me." Feeling the car stop. Haruto slowly rises off his shoulder

Ely kept Haru close and listened. It was such a different life style to anything he'd ever experienced and where at times it seemed like Haru enjoyed it, Ely was curious, maybe even worried about what kind of toll it had. "I see." He didn't know what else to say, watching the streets through the window and taking in the information. As the car stopped and Hary lifted, Ely peaked out the window.

Haru put on a practiced smile waiting for the door to open. He patted Ely's knee before climbing out of the car and walking out. Thankfully, no one knew they were coming here. He looked around when he stepped out before waving for Ely to come with him. The building was in Western style, and just a hint of Old Italian architecture. It was smaller than some of the surrounding buildings yet managed to give an air of wealth that did not need to be explained or boasted about.

Ely stepped out of the car shortly after being led out by Haru's signal. Looking up at the strange building, but smiling about it, as he followed the other inside. Inside was a different story. Truthfully, the imp had never been to a proper restaurant. Yokios or humble cafes were the norm for him and seeing the fancy place from inside brought about a bit of nervousness as he walked with a distance from Haru. Lead by an invisible tether.

The inside of the restaurant boasted of old money. Ancient Roman replicas in statues and paintings graced the creme walls. Haruto walked up to the host and gave his name.

"Oh, we were expecting you Ono-San," said the host much to Haruto’s surprise. His mind raced with reasons why until a frustrated frown came to his face. Haruto looked back at Ely to make sure he was OK. "Right this way Ono-San." Haruto mouthed an apology to his best friend before following the host.

Ely continued to follow at a fair distance, continuing to act as though lead by a leash. Looking around but he felt very much out of place. Even in his home country this was lavish.

Haruto followed the host past rows of expensively dressed people, schooled smile in tack. But inside he was frustrated, the only person who knew where they were going was the driver, but that didn't mean the driver couldn't make a call. He assumption was proven true when they were lead to a table far enough away to have a feel of privacy. Waiting for them was Uncle Kenji and another man he didn't know.

"Good afternoon Uncle," he said with a bow. The host left them alone job done.

Ely caught up to Haru and bowed when Haru mentioned his uncle. Though he didn't say hello, instead he stood behind Haru and waited for his lead to sit or otherwise.

"There's my boy!" Uncle Kenji clapped his hands looking at Haruto to then at Ely. The older man was as glizy as ever. He ignored the annoyed expression on his nephew's face and addressed the imp directly. "How are you today?"

Ely shrugged. "Fine sir." He replies, minding himself carefully. Keeping his tail off the ground and watching Haru.

"Uncle, this is my friend Ely, Ely this is my uncle, Hatsumura Kenji." Haruto introduced them still frowning. The glitzy older man nodded in Ely's direction. He wore a silver snakeskin suit, with rings on all his fingers and gold rimmed glasses, looking more like a gangster than someone's uncle. "Have seat boys." he gestured to the other chairs. Ely would bow once more when introduced. "Nice to meet you." He says softly. Waiting for Haru to sit before following and sitting beside him. Ely took note of the uncle's strange clothing and expensive details. Truthfully, it made him a little more nervous, but he kept his cool for the most part, following Haru's lead.

Haruto turned and smiled at Ely before sitting down. He just wanted to have a nice meal with his bestie, but it appeared that he still had work to do. He didn't bother to ask his uncle how he found him. Growing up Uncle Kenji always knew how to find his dad no matter where they were.

"I was going to call you when I got back to campus," the young idol said as he placed a cloth napkin in is lap. A waiter came to the table and filled two glasses of water one for each the newcomers.

"I know. I was already out and wanted you to meet someone," the glitzy man said easily. "This is Ueno Daisuke," he presented the younger man sitting beside him. The other man was in his late twenties with flirty almond eyes, round face, and a chinstrap of facial hair. The suit he wore was tailored but not as glitzy as Uncle Kenji's. "He's one of the finest agents in my employ."

"I look forward to working with you Haruto," said the younger agent. Haruto was so used to correcting people that it took him a moment to realize that the man actually called him by his name. "Uncle Kenji told me that you prefer to be called you given name," he said mischievously. Haruto nodded.

This was weird, Haruto thought. His sisters told him that once Haruto was settled in his career uncle would assign them to another agent. Haruto just hadn't expected it so soon. He looked Ely, a bit worried. He also wouldn't have brought Ely.

Ely tipped his head looking the man over and wondering what an agent was really? After sitting he was able to relax some. Following the conversation as best he could, but he felt the strange energy coming from Haru and looked over at him. Without much word, Ely's tail discreetly wrapped around Haru's waist. Keeping them connected under the table while hands were visible above. Folded against the table top. He continued to listen, keeping careful attention to his friend and trying to understand the situation.

Haruto blinked looking down, feeling the tail around his waist. He schooled his face quickly. He bowed in his seat toward his new agent. "I look forward to working with you as well…" he said softly before looking at his uncle.

The older, glitzier man smiled and looked at Ely again. He waved over a waiter. "Champagne for the table." He didn't bother to ask Ely his age. "Order what you like." he told everyone before picking up his menu.

"Champagne?" Haruto asked picking up his menu. He knew his uncle wouldn't do something that would hurt him. And having Ely there was calming in a way, even if he did worry about him.

Ely continued to watch Haru carefully. Admittingly this was a side of Haru Ely hasn't seen before. Not the idol part, but rather how Haru switched so naturally to keep up appearances. The imp never really noticed before today, perhaps fooled as well until now. He peaked at the menu Haru was holding and nodded with a smile. "Sounds good to me." He says in a calm tone, picking up his own menu and looking over the dishes. Many familiar, some strange. Japanese names for Italian dishes. Ely waited for Haru to pick first. His tail still wrapped around the other.

Haruto ordered a spinach alfredo. Ely ordered the same with chicken after Haru. Paying careful attention if only to try and understand.

Haruto’s expression was even but his mind was racing. Uncle Kenji wouldn't release him if he wasn't doing well, right? But he hadn't been on the market for very long. That didn't make sense. The young idol was lost in his thoughts while the waiter took the rest of the orders. Only coming back in time to give his order before going back to his thoughts.

Haruto was distracted still when the waiter came back to the table a bottle of champagne in hand. The polished man showed the bottle to Uncle Kenji for approval before popping the cork. Haruto looked at the waiter, his hand sliding down to the tail around his waist, as if to protect it. If the waiter noticed, he knew enough not to address it to the table. Haruto was thankful for little things. The waiter glided easily around the table filling the glasses with care.

When the champagne arrived, Ely looked to the bottle. "A celebration?" He questions softly, looking to Haru to be sure. Uncle Kenji smiled at his nephew's friend.

"Exactly. We have a lot to celebrate. " The glitzy older man picked up his wine glass, signaling for the others to do the same.

"Uncle," Haruto tried again. "Why are we drinking champagne?"

"Several things, my boy," Uncle Kenji spoke while their glasses were filled. "That school is very good for you. You gained some very valuable friends." Haruto frowned watching his uncle. "Sato-kun, Kiryu-kun…."

"I didn't friend them for my career," Haruto said. He his hand squeezing the tail around his waist.

"Of course not," said Uncle Kenji. "But, friends can be very helpful." he nodded to Ely. Haruto picked up his glass and bit his tongue. He knew that they weren't just celebrating friends or even him getting passed off to a new agent, there had to be something else.

"To know endeavors and new friendships," he nodded to Ueno and Ely. “Kampai." he brought up his glass clinking it with Ueno's. Haruto turned toward Ely to do the same before taking a sip. He didn't ask again but just waited for his uncle to finish.

Ely would follow Haru, picking his glass only seconds after his friend. He listened, feeling Haru's hands against his tail made him tense just a bit, his tail shifting gently in Haru's grasp. He joined in the toast in a casual and kind manor. Waiting to understand from Haru perhaps later. In his mind it was as though Haru were being given to the other man, though Ely wasn't sure, nor what that meant for Haru. Uncle Kenji knew that he was pushing his nephew to the limit. He chuckled. "Other than Ueno taking over as your manager, we also get to celebrate the three-album deal Ueno brokered for you."

The younger agent picked up a briefcase beside his chair and pulled out a stack of papers. There were several sticky tabs waiting for Haruto's signature. The young idol looked at his uncle before taking the papers slid over to him and the following ink pen. When his uncle, nodded he started signing.

"We also get to celebrate, the album release party Ueno setup for you," said Uncle Kenji. Haruto rolled his eyes.

"Is he going to shit glitter next?" the words came out of his mouth before he could stop them. His signing hand hovered over the page waiting to be scolded. Instead Ueno started laughing. Haruto's bright blue eyes narrowed looking at the man.

"We are going to get along well Haruto," said Ueno. "And no, I don't shit glitter, but I have a lot of other tricks under my sleeve." he said with a cocky wink. Haruto rolled his eyes again and went back to signing papers.

"The last thing," Uncle Kenji continued, "that we have to celebrate is your new girlfriend."

Haruto finished signing and was passing the papers back but dropped the stack when he heard the world 'girlfriend'.

"What….what are you talking about?" he stammered. He'd been really careful to keep his time with Colten private and his ex looked nothing like a girl.

Ueno picked up the papers and put them in his briefcase. "Her name is Bailey, you're going to meet her at the release party. She's going to give you chocolates on Valentine's day and you are going to take her out on White day." Ueno said as if reading off an itinerary.

Haruto deflated and nodded. Thankfully he didn't have to speak as the food arrived.

Ely found himself smirking subtly at Haru's outburst over glitter. Watching the two of them, the imp found it difficult to understand why Haru was upset. That didn't stop him from keeping close to his friend. Hearing girlfriend made his ears flick. That was decided for him? It was really quite confusing. Why would this girl like Haru if they never met? When at last the food arrived, Ely smiled to Haru. "It looks good." He tells him, trying to cheer up his friend a little. Haruto puts on his best smile and nodded in agreement with his friend about the food. "It does." he says and starts to eat. The rest of the meal went by without event. Mostly, the older agents talking about and forth about other clients and events. Every now and then they would address the college students asking about their studies. Ely ate his food and kept to himself mostly, speaking only when addressed directly or when talking to Haru. He had so much to ask him, so much he didn't understand and wanted to know more about but given the two men across the table, dictating Haru's life- Ely figured it best to wait until they were alone again. Haruto continued with the polite conversation but stayed quiet for the most part. When it was finally time to go, the foursome would make their way to the front door where two cars and matching chauffeurs waited for them. Haruto exchanged numbers with his new agent, setting up a time to meet the following week. He bowed to his uncle and headed over to his car. Flopping on the seat looking out the window as soon as he got inside. Ely would bow to Haru's uncle as well, before following Haru into the car and taking his own soft sigh of relief. He looked to Haru and smiled softly but asked right away, "Are you alright?" as though they had just survived some strange endeavor. Haru shrugged. He was still thinking but he put his best smile on his face. "Of course!" he straightened up in his seat and turned to Ely. "Sorry for dragging you to that boring shit." Ely tipped his head. He was getting kean on picking up Haru's faux smiles now. "So- what did all that mean anyway? Getting a new manager and a girlfriend to?" He asked, tone and expression a bit more serious. Haruto blinks a few times then sighs. He leans forward and asks the driver to take them back to the ferry. He'd had enough of this world today. "Getting a new agent means I'm doing well enough that Uncle doesn't have to spoonfeed my career. I know it was going to happen.... I just thought it would be later...." he shrugged. "And....." he looked out the car window as it moved. "The girlfriend part is a gimmick. She's a popular pop tart and apparently we would look nice in pictures or something." https://www.papernstitchblog.com/wp-con ... ostume.jpg

she does look nice lol there she is! Harus is going to be a glass of almond milk Ely still seemed confused. "Isn't it a good thing? That you’re doing well enough your uncle wants you to have your own agent?" He didn't understand why Haru was upset on that front. As for the girlfriend, he nodded "Oh I see. Imps are sometimes traded or given to other imps to mate and increase the value of offspring. I suppose two celebrities would work the same way." "Yeah," he said softly. "Just another step down the rabbit hole I guess. Maybe I'll take up smoking or a pill habit or something." he chuckled to himself. At the mention of 'mating' he blushed. "NO! No, it's not like that," he said quickly. "At least I hope not. I don't want to get some chick pregnant!" Ely snickered, he couldn't imagine Haru being the type to smoke. He looked to Haru and laughed. "Well, you’re quite a looker. I can imagine the tabloids now talking about your celebrity baby~" He mused in a teasing voice. "Hopefully it'll get it's smarts from mom though~" He snickers, sticking it tongue out at Haru. Haruto’s jaw drops and nudges Ely in the shoulder with his elbow playfully. "I have an Academic Scholarship!" Then he thinks about it. "I’m not going to knock up some girl for publicity!" He probably should have said that first. Ely laughs. "Sure, you say that now~" He teased. "Just don't expect me to nanny the mini Haru~" He snickered before looking out the window and watching the city. "I hope she's nice to you. Even if it's just for the gimmick." Haruto watches Ely for a few seconds his gaze soft and thoughtful watching Ely watch the world go by. He stopped looking out of the car windows long ago, just expecting to get out and present where ever the car stopped. He scooted closer to Ely looking out the same window. "I was an adorable kid. You'd be missing out.... But I'm not going to have a random kid!" he adds quickly at the end. Ely snickers hearing this, welcoming their closeness. "I wasn't- huge eyes, a tail longer than my body and hair so long you couldn't find me inside it." He mused. Haruto makes big eyes imagining baby Ely. "I would braid that shit!" He had sisters. He could do it. Ely laughed. "Astrix would put it up in pigtails." He admits fondly. "Are... are there pictures of this?" he said getting geeked. Ely shook his head. "Ke- Sorry. If there were, I don't have them." Haruto looks genuinely sad for a moment. Soon they are back at the docks. "Are you ready to head back?" he looked at Ely as the chauffeur opened the on Haruto's side. Ely nodded. Following Haru out of the car and onto the docks. "Yeah, but once we get home, I'll make us something to eat." He offers. Because they are almost back on sacred ground, he reaches for Ely's hand. "That sounds awesome." he smiles genuinely. Ely looked at their hands and smirked, holding onto Haru's as they returned home.

[thesecretbits]

I keep a list of all the kdramas I watch every year. I do this thing at the end of the year where I recap the kdramas I finished for that year. I think I forgot last year, so this year you get 2022 and 2023.

What I watched in 2022 (in the order I liked them and what I rated them out of 5):

Alchemy of Souls pt. 2 (5/5) - this was by far my favorite drama of 2022. I watched the first couple of episodes from the first part, but as I am not the biggest fan of Jung Somin, I couldn't get into the first part. I did, however, really like GYJ as Naksu and since she was coming back in part 2, I read as much about what happened in the first season (and watched the last episode of part 1) to prepare for part 2.

Loved the show. YJ and JW's chemistry was so good. My only complaint was that it was only 10 episodes. I wish it was longer.

May I Help You (4.5/5) - I really enjoyed this drama. The male lead in this, LJY, was the same lead from Love and Leashes, which I really enjoyed. He and LHR had such good chemistry. This drama had the perfect amount of angst and comedy and a lead couple that were just really perfect together.

Business Proposal (4.5/5)- this was just so funny. Not too heavy on the angst. Great leads and second leads. Just a really fun watch.

2521 (4.5/5)- this was such a good show. I was not as upset about the ending as other people were. I could see realistically how the two leads would not be together in the end. First love doesn't always last. But KTR is just such an amazing actor.

Movies I watched in 2022:

Love and Leashes (4/5) - cute little movie about a girl and her sub. This was adorable. I need to watch it again. And LJY's performance in this made me check out May I Help You and I wasn't disappointed. He's a great actor.

Yaksha: Ruthless Operations (4/5) - I'm an action movie girlie at heart, so I really loved it. I watched it for Jinyoung, but I thought everyone was great.

Shows I watched in 2023 (not in the order I liked them, but with what I rated them out of 5):

Island pt. 1 (2.5/5): I tried to get into this show. My favorite part of it was Cha Eunwoo, which is saying something since he's not an actor I'm particularly fond of (this is probably the only project of his that he had a major part I've actually enjoyed him in). It had potential for me, but I just wasn't engaged enough to watch part 2.

Joseon Attorney (4/5): I'm a Woo Do Hwan girly all the way and this did not disappoint. A great blend of humor and angst, the romance wasn't overdone, and the whole cast had a really great dynamic. This was not my favorite WDH drama this year tho.

Bloodhounds (5/5): My favorite WDH project this year was definitely Bloodhounds. This show was great from start to finish. Best bromance I've seen all year, those two were ride or die for each other. Great fights, it tested me emotionally, it made me laugh, it made me angry. I binged all 8 episodes in one night because I had to know what happened next. One of my favorite dramas of 2023. I recommend it to everybody.

Black Knight (5/5): Another one of my favorite dramas of 2023. It had an interesting premise that I enjoyed. As I said before, I'm an action girly so if you give me good story and great fights, I'm in there. I think I also binged this in one night. I highly recommend this one, too.

Revenant (5/5): Kim Taeri deserved awards for this show and if she didn't get any, I'd be mad (I just checked she won a Daesang for this role as she should, she was amazing). This show was creepy, dark, and so well acted (by everybody, this cast was good), that I was waiting impatiently every single week for new episodes. Excellent show, one of my top 3 favorite shows of the year.

King the Land (3/5): I liked this. It was cute, it didn't reinvent the romcom, but the leads had excellent chemistry (so good people were convinced they were dating irl) and it was funny. It was a pretty easy watch. And they made sure they made their two idol leads make out anytime they could, so props to the director for that.

The Killing Vote (4/5): Kim Kwon played evil in two shows I watched this year, and he was great at being horrible in both. Considering the first thing I ever watched him in he was a good guy, it was nice to see him in a completely different role. Anyway, I really liked this show. The premise, a guy who asks the people to vote on whether or not criminals deserve to die and then killing them if over 50% of the public votes yes, was interesting. Good show, questioning whether or not everyone, not just the criminals, but the cops and lawyers and judges, and even the so-called innocent civilians who were so invested in the murder of criminals are all as bad as each other. They left the ending open for another season and if they made it, I'd probably watch.

Destined with You (4/5): I had some problems with this initially (I was judging the female lead HARD), but eventually it won me over. The leads did some really good acting and that scene in the closet was hot.

The Story of Park's Marriage Contract (3.5/5): This was okay. The fashion was great. I think one of the best things about Yeon-woo being in the present is how great her outfit choices were. You could tell that fashion design was really her thing and being in the future really highlighted how important that was to her. So many shitty people in this drama. It sucks when you can't even trust your own family. Yeon-woo and Tae-ha had a cute relationship and I'm glad they got their happy ending.

And there we have it, my recap of all the dramas I completed in 2022 and 2023.

I look forward to seeing what 2024 brings.

[keefwho]

November 23 - 2023 Thursday

11:12pm

I took the day off today like was advised of me, I think it was a good idea. I woke up and immediately tried to tune into the Thanksgiving parade. The best I could do was watching this puppet guy stream it on Twitch which was actually wholesome and funny. I missed the first half of it though. Afterwards I made a bologna sandwich and rice for breakfast. A little smaller than usual to save room for Thanksgiving lunch. While drinking my coffee I decided to work on a picture I was thinking about last night to tell Daisy how thankful I am of her. While doing that I was chilling in a Black Cat in desktop and was briefly interviewed by this Australian guy before he got in an unironic fight with a couple of trolling teens. It started off funny but over time it got more toxic and people actually got upset. It sucked to watch because I thought the guy was smarter than that. I'm surprised at how many people just give in to strangers shit talking them. It was a nice time, it felt good hangin around and goofin off. I then joined a random furry who was in a cuddle pile with a few people, making sexual references constantly and flustering one another. Shit I can NOT understand and never did. Afterwards I was unsure what to do with myself for awhile. I got that brain fog and tried to sit down with a stream to anchor myself to. I didn't really figure out what to do, I sort of just waited until lunch time. It was then I found out that I didn't have a can of turkey spam like I thought and that sort of put a hamper on my lunch. Instead I had to use hickory smoke flavor which meant I couldn't bake it like I planned so I just fried everything in the pan. I had spam, hash browns with onions, green beans and carrots, corn, stuffing, and gravy. I wasn't in the eating mood when I made all this but it actually came out fantastic. Wasnt TOO many calories over either but it was still a pretty big meal. After lunch I tried to work on another drawing but wasn't feeling it. I still had the same problem not knowing what to do but I tuned into a stream that was actually kinda cozy even though it wasn't someone I usually liked. After a bit Daisy said she wanted to kill Ganon tonight so I had to grind a little for the lightscale trident I needed. We got all set up and finally went through the finale of TOTK. It took about an hour and a half and I recorded the event for the future to check out someday. It was a spectacular ending. I loved the fight with ganon and his dragon design. I'm glad Zelda was turned back to normal. During bedtime I played Neopets and started my first big combat portion it seems.

Degen time. Before bed I was chilling but wanted to do something. I've really been into cucking lately and still am but it's starting to wear off which is good I think. Theres just a lot I've wanted to try or discuss that I haven't been able to so I keep feeling the need to do it. I don't wanna go full cuck though because I can see the negative effects that might have on my opinion of myself. Deep down I want a normal mutual engagement most of the time. But in some ways I don't feel like I deserve that or am capable so I try to settle for more degrading things. Thats not always bad though, only if I do it too much.