#she threw a fucking bomb at me bro

[doozclops]

Fish you're promoted, Luchika you're definitely fired.

[lovelyiida]

KATSUKI BAKUGO X SECRETARY READER • A 500 FOLLOWERS SERIES!

❥ SYNOPSIS: as the years passed, Bakugo came to the realization that he was the last among his class to tie the knot. As the days grew colder, and the nights became lonelier. Bakugo finds the desire to get married, but he doesn't really feel like falling in love. At least he has his trustee secretary!

implied fem reader, aged-up! Pro-hero MHA characters over the age of 27, vulgar language, suggestive wording and content

❥: CHAPTERS

❥ MASTERLIST

❥ JOIN TAG LIST!

WORDS: 4.3K

PS: Please let me know if you have filled out the tag form since the last update so I can keep up to date!!

CHAPTER 8: VULNERABILITY

PHASE 2: CONSOLE

“Beady-eyed, dog-mannered, dimwad!”

Headline, headline, headline!

PRO-HERO DYNAMIGHT EXPLODES IN ANGER DURING INTERVIEW

[unreleased footage from Pop! Magazine spreads like wildfire!]

Over 3 million views, and 10 thousand shares.

Since the dawn of the moon, you have been repeatedly refreshing the page. Each and every comment was scanned with frantic-fast movements. Relishing in this whole interview fiasco from the comfort of your queen-sized bed, you moaned in anguish.

Your face became increasingly hot as you read the comments with your third glass of wine in hand. As much as you thought the comments would be demeaning to the pro-hero, the exact opposite happened!

[COMMENT] Did you see how he took up for his secretary? Omg, that was so hot.

• 45k likes • 216 shares

[COMMENT] The way he took her hand going off the set!!!!

• 78k likes • 12k shares

[COMMENT] Oh god, send me a man like Dynamight…

• 57k likes • 2k shares

[COMMENT] Bro there’s no way they aren’t fucking

• 180k likes • 3.8k shares

Of course, that’s the top comment.

Staring at your computer, you tried hard to fathom the situation you were now slapped into. The video of you and Dynamight has gone viral, and everyone now suspects that you two are in a relationship.

And they're not entirely wrong...

Despite your late-night attempts to contact the fiery hero, your calls went straight to voicemail and your texts went unanswered. Letting out a large sigh that was once trapped in your chest, you had no choice but to sit there and let the bomb explode. And await the absolute nuke that was urging to be dropped at the office.

Staring at the messages you sent Dynamight, you scowled. “Flashy piece of carbon fiber pants thinks he’s the shit and can just ignore my messages? Leaving me to the wolves once again!” you shouted in anger. You threw your phone to the end of your bed and buried yourself in your plush duvet. Your throat becomes tight as your eyes are welled with tears.

“I’m gonna teach you, Dynamight, to never fuck with me or any other secretary again.”

The pattern of clicking heels and bustling conversations filled the office today. Usually, the bleak energy of Dynamight's office could be caught with little to no attention. But the sight you’ve seen today was out of the ordinary.

“The printers are down; just send emails!”

“Has anyone been in contact with Pop Magazine? They’re completely blocking our calls!”

“God damn it, I need a raise!”

The chitter-chatter amongst your coworkers is at an all-time high. As you started to quicken the pace of your steps around the office, scowls and stares were slapped across your face. Stepping foot by foot, you reach the bathroom and hide in the nearest stall.

The door bursts open before you can even think about taking another breath. “Can you believe Dynamight fired Hitomi and Sakura for telling the truth? I mean, the whole floor has seen the video! Even Red was speechless.” A woman says her friend snickers at her remark before chiming in.

 “I’d like to see little miss Secretary say something now; she’s not beating the slut-cretary allegations at this point–”

You didn’t know what came over you at the moment, but your feet began to move before your mind could comprehend what the actual fuck was going on. Slamming the stall open, you watch the two women flinched at your action. Eyes going wide, they stare into your soulless eyes, filled with an incomprehensible anger that you didn’t know was held within you.

“First off, let’s get one thing straight right now.”

You said it flatly, closing the stall behind you. You walked up towards the duo and closed in on them. “Me and Dynamight are not a thing; have you ever taken into consideration that I’m the only person who’s in charge of this man's reputation and career, as we both fucking know it?”

"So, of course, I’ll be hip-and-hip with the brute. Do you think I want that man in that play-pen he calls a fucking office? Oh please, Dynamight needs my ass because he can barely keep his head on every second of the day. So just maybe, we should all realize how valuable I am to all of your lives!”

“Because I know that if I wasn’t here, this building would be in flames, man-made or not.”

You spoke sternly with each huff of your breath, and the two women in front of you were left speechless. Your frown soon curled into a small twitch of a smirk before you spoke once more. “So excuse me for needing to be spoken up for. You bitches, have a nice day.”

Without looking back, your feet trailed confidently out of the boss battle that was the ladies' room and straight toward Dynamight's office. With each harsh click of your heels, you stepped closer to the office, your frown stuck and growing deeper by the second. Your coworkers took into account the drastic shift in your demeanor. From shy and outspoken to confident and ten cans of bitchy.

Without thinking twice, you throw the door open with a small huff and walk into the domain of the pro-hero. Closing the door softly, you turn at your heel and scowl at Dynamight. His amber eyes burn back at you with an almost unamused look, unphased by the absolute chaos ensuing beyond the Acia wood door.

“So what? Are we just going to ignore what the press is saying about us?” You said flatly.

“I ignored your annoying ass text messages pretty much the same way,” he snapped back slyly.

This asshat.

As you stormed towards his desk, you slammed your hands against it with a loud slap that made your palms sting. “Is it possible for you to actually talk about the issue and not be a fucking brat?” You spat with anger.

Dynamight's laidback/unbothered exterior soon crumbles in slow motion. From sitting back in his seat, he approaches you with a smooth motion, his eyes glowing amber-red as his elbows land on said desk. Looking straight into your eyes, a devilish smirk etches across his face.

“Say that again for me, Y/N; go ahead.”

Faces close to one another, you could feel the heat radiating off of the hero. You frown at his attempt at intimidation, snapping your eyes away for a single millisecond before you feel a strong, warm grip on your face.

“No, don’t look away now, pretty. Say what you just said to me again. Since you have all the audacity in the world today,” he said with amusement oozing from his tone. You groaned at the sensation of his hand gripping your face, swallowing down your fear. You spoke once more.

“I said, Man up, brat.”

A long-standing pause settles over the room as his gaze burns into your eyes. Suddenly, Dynamight stands up with one swift move. The blonde removes his hand from your face, you moan in anguish at the fade of his unsettling grip and stare into the blonde's eyes once more.

You watch as the hero points his finger at himself with a mischievous smirk,

“You wanna see a brat? I’ll show you a fucking brat!”

He brushes past you and storms out of the room. Shouting your name for you to follow, you quickly turn to follow in blood-curdling anger. You knew he was a pro and all, but there’s a statistic that for every 1 out of 5 chances, a villain can take a perfect hit at a hero of his caliber.

So you might take a chance and strike him at his weak point…

Preferably somewhere in the lower region.

You watch as Dynamight calls for an emergency meeting, calling for all staff to be in attendance. All staff from each agency scurry behind his steps, and even Red Riot follows suit. He tries to calm the hero down, but his efforts fail.

As the workers sat swiftly to hear the beloved hero's comments, your heart began to beat a new rhythm as the truth dawned on you about what you dreaded would happen next.

"So, I believe we all understand why we're in here. So let's address some rumors and set them to fuckin’ rest."

A sudden pang of fear hits your chest and seeps into your body as you hear the words fall off Dynamight's tongue and through the audience of your coworkers. Eyes scan the room until your eyes fall upon a certain red-headed main in the back towards the exit.

Letting out a soft exhale of relief, you speed your way toward Red Riot.

“Red!” You spoke aloud as you gained the attention of the other pro hero. His eyes snap towards you and he points towards his beloved partner in utter confusion. “What the hell is happening now?” He exasperates in exhaustion.

“He’s having a hissy fit because he can’t handle when the public negatively views him–”

“Negative?” He interrupted. You roll your eyes and raise your hands, completely giving up on the situation playing in front of you. “Dude bumped up 10 ranks in public favor, what the hell could he be upset for?” Red Riot spoke in confusion.

Holding your briefcase towards your chest, you sigh at the current baby of the hero stabbing daggers into your form.

“I…I’m not sure.”

As the assembly room filled up, every person in their seat watched attentively as they awaited the hero's urgent message. The blonde clears his throat before groggily shoving them in his pants. Silently pacing back and forth the head of the room with slow steps, eyes still trained onto you.

“I know what everyone is thinking to themselves, why the fuck are we here? Well, I need to address some petty rumors that are going on in the concrete hellscape.”

“All Might save us…” Red Riot groaned quietly as he watched in secondhand embarrassment at the Blondes' stunts.

"If you think me and my secretary have a romantic relationship, I'm afraid you're damn wrong.”

“Don’t listen to what I might’ve said in the past, or what I’ve said in the present. It ain’t true.”

Blah blah blah, blop blop blop.

You swore you could’ve seen physical bullshit fly out of his mouth.

“To prove this…I’m happily engaged!” The hero boasts confidently to the crowd of his workers. Shoving his right hand out of his pocket and out towards the expecting crowd. A diamond-banded ring shone brightly in the bright haze of corporate lighting.

Then, in a moment both shocking and surreal, Dynamight seizes the attention of the room with a declaration that sends ripples of astonishment through the assembled crowd. With a brashness that borders on audacity, he confronts the swirling rumors head-on, his words cutting through the murmurs like a lightning bolt.

In the sudden hush that follows, the truth is laid bare, raw, and unfiltered. The bombshell revelation of your engagement sends shockwaves through the room, leaving jaws agape and minds reeling. Eyes widen in disbelief as whispers erupt, spreading like wildfire among the stunned onlookers.

Yet, amidst the chaos, Dynamight stands undaunted, his demeanor unwavering despite the tempest of reaction he has incited. His confidence radiates as he confronts the storm of speculation with a rare candor, unapologetic in the face of scrutiny.

Calm within the midst of the business casual storm.

As for you, on the other hand, you could only think of one thing to do in this situation. Your feet rush towards the blonde with a speed never before seen, and your hand flies back as far as possible before landing a seething slap on the hero’s cheek.

Dynamight lets out a gasp of shock (and so does everyone else in the room) at your hit. You stood in front of the hero for only a moment before rushing out of the room and straight out of the office.

And now what was left of you was your body sulking under your covers once more. Leaving you to pick up the pieces of your self-worth once more.

You should consider just giving up, calling off the engagement, and leaving the industry for the rest of your life. A soulless desk job would be better than whatever the fuck this reality is right now.

So much for that speech in the ladies' room...

You tried hard to care for and take up for the hero you worked for, but at times like this, your vendetta only grew stronger. And the more your sister became right. But there's a voice in the back of your head that is somewhat empathetic for the hero.

Look at his family, for All Might’s sake!

An overprotective bitch for a mother, and an emotional father with no backbone.

(it’s okay for men to show their emotions!!!)

Of course, that would create a man with a lack of emotions and a soul-crushing ego to overcompensate for it.

Of fucking course!

Sighing into your pillow, you could only fantasize about the words you’d want to say to that man right now. 

“Tight pants, brazen-boned, bastard.” You grit your teeth together, as the words only make you angrier. “Beady-eyed, dog-mannered, dimwad!” You throw your blankets off your body and jump out of bed. Rushing towards the kitchen, you grab the fridge handle and swing the door open.

“Fuck!”

No beer.

Huffing out a defeated sigh, you eye the clock on the counter. It read 11:45.

Licking your lips, you ponder as you stare at the fridge and back at the clock. You might as well go out for a walk to cool some steam off. Shuffling over to your coat rack, you lazily threw on a hoodie and some slides. Grabbing your purse and your keys, you open the door to your apartment.

Rummaging in your purse for some convenience store coupons, you continued on your slew of words. “I bet he’s not even a real blonde, just a poser of a man-baby–”

“Hah?”

Eyes snapping wide from the voice, you jump back in shock as you see the man of the hour.

“What the hell are you doing here, Dynamight? Do you know what time it is?” You exclaimed in shock, mouth twisted down into a frown. You stared down at the blonde in anger and in utter embarrassment. Looking down further, you noticed he had a couple of bags in his hands.

Beer and chicken?

“Let me in, we need to talk.”

You scoff at the man's words as you throw your purse over your shoulder. “As if, do you know how you embarrassed me and you today?” You spoke with venom at the hero. Dynamight rolls his eyes before he speaks once more, “If it makes you feel any damn better, I made them all sign NDAs.”

You stare at the hero once more in confusion, and he stares back…unwavering in his actions.

“Okay, sure, do whatever you think will place a bandaid over this whole shit show for all I care.” Placing your hands on your hips, you watch the pro hero step towards you. “Yeah? Well, it's a pretty strong bandaid.”

You hum back in response before the both of you fall into silence. The both of you gazed at each other awkwardly, before tearing your gaze away. A light blush warms your face which makes you look down once more. Looking at the bags of fried chicken and beer, you look at Dynamights hand…

His engagement ring is still on!

“You idiot!”

Frantically looking around the outside of your apartment, you turn back and quickly open the door. You then hold the hero by the collar before shoving him inside. He follows suit with a grunt before shutting the door behind him.

“What the hell is your problem?” He cursed at you.

“My problem? My problem is that you come out to my doorstep late at night bearing a peace offering with your ring on, shining brighter than ever! Fuck-face!” You cursed back. This makes the blonde smirk at your complaint.

“If you think someone is watching us, then you’re pretty late to the party,” he chuckles.

“W-what?” you stuttered in anxiety, breaking from his gaze. You locked the doors and shut the blinds to your home. “Calm down; I paid them off a long time ago,” Dynamight rummages through the bags before setting the food and beer out on the dining table.

“Paid them off?” you asked.

“Yeah, they started watching you as soon as you pulled that stunt at the children's interview a while back. They were going to trample your door down just for a couple of gabs about me.” He spoke, cracking open a can of beer. The hero takes a couple of gulps before placing the can down.

Pulling out a chair, the hero sat down and began to speak. “You think you do all of the protecting when it's me.” He takes another swig of his beer as he stares into your eyes. You swallow a lump in your throat before you grab a seat as well.

“But you can’t say I haven’t.” You trailed off.

“Haven’t what?” He asked.

“Took care of you; everyone thinks you're this strong force to never be reckoned with, but you’re the complete opposite,” you rambled as you grabbed a can of beer and cracked it open. Taking a refreshing, much-needed swig.

Katsuki never responded.

“Y’know, it’s crazy how much this position has changed me. For the good or worse… I’m not so sure.” You spoke softly towards the hero.

“And why do you think that, Y/n?” He asked.

You bit the inside of your cheek at the question. “Before I came to this agency, I never knew what it was like to take care of someone besides myself. And even then, I was doing a shit job at it. My life was teetering on by a thin string.”

The room was silent, the only noises being the taping of Katsuki’s foot, the ticking of the clock, and the hum of your refrigerator.

“So what? You’ve never helped someone out before? Beating someone’s ass with your quirk? Nothin’?” Katsuki spoke, trying to understand where you’re coming from. But you could only let out a big sigh.

"Well, technically, I’m kinda quirkless.”

Katsuki’s tapping stopped.

He gave you a look you’ve never seen before; his eyes were growing soft and his chest began to fall. Like he’s loosening up or something. The blonde stared intensely at you, waiting for you to speak once more. Biting your lip, you continued once more.

“It's like it comes in little spurts, no matter how hard I try to concentrate and force it out. It’ll only come out at the randomest of times. I’ve never seen myself at full power before.”

“One moment I was just like you, young and so excited about my quirk. I grew up thinking that I was going to save the world and that I’d work hard and conquer my way to the top. But the thing is, as yours grew stronger, I was only getting weaker. And the next thing I knew, I woke up, and it was gone.”

“So I went through life with the mentality that I needed to give myself a bit more attention; I couldn’t just wing through life knowing that my quirk could save me. But I knew that if I could have a position of power, that would make me feel like I was making a difference out there for you of all people…”

You suddenly laughed at yourself, taking another swig of your beer.

“Sorry, I don’t even know what I’m saying, I’m already buzzed.”

“No.”

You looked at Katsuki as he spoke, a frown on his lips as he shook his head. You couldn't help but laugh at his demeanor. “All I’m saying is that maybe I wasn’t as cut out for this as I thought I would be. Maybe I’m meant to be a walking target that villains can smell. I’m a walking damsel in distress, honestly. If we didn’t meet through the agency, we could’ve met that way most likely–”

“Shut up.”

Katsuki deadpanned at your words.

“I knew someone who was quirkless, and that loser is stronger than me for all might’s sake!” He exclaimed.

“All I’m saying is that you have a good life, so be proud of it. You work hard, harder than I’ve seen most of the chicken heads that I’ve hired. So bask in that glory.” He says softly, you roll your eyes before you start up again.

“I have a good life? Says the multi-acclaimed pro hero Dynamight! Ranked number two out of the whole country, he drives a red sports car, lives in a nice childhood home, goes to a great school, gets to roll around in money, and gets to tell people how they should dress for five days out of the week? Right, my life is really good.”

You snorted at yourself, reveling in the truth you spoke. But all Katsuki could do was shake his head.

“That same person who you were talking about has almost died countless times, kidnapped in their first year of high school, and has lost too many friends and mentors to count. So yeah, I consider you to have a good life.”

You let out a bittersweet chuckle at his words, “There’s one more thing too.” You added on, Katsuki raised his eyebrows in amusement, “like?”

“You’re also the last to get married.”

Katsuki rolls his eyes and lets out an amused smirk. “Right, that’s checkmate for me–”

“How come you’re the last? I would think that you’d be the first! You’re not a bad-looking guy; you might need to work in the emotional availability department but. You’re crystal clear.”

“I uh…  I tried to do the whole young love thing but it didn’t work out in my favor.” He responded softly towards the touchy subject, but you decided to persist.

“And why do you think that, Katsuki?”

Back when Bakugo was a younger, newly emerged pro, there was someone of his caliber that he found perfect. They had the spunk, the quirk, the personality, the looks, even the barons. He believed they were perfect for each other.

He had his sights set on them since he had been working in the force. At first, they were a nice distraction. Clever banter turned into hot makeout sessions. Training days turned into blanket-covered nights where the both of them would talk about their future.

And back then, he believed it. He believed that he had a future with them.

Sometimes he would envy Kirishima; he didn’t understand why he wasn’t chosen to bear the burden of love. A warmth beyond his comprehension, a family that he could selfishly call his own.

Sometimes his mind would trail back to that night. A night that he wished he could forget. A thought that he wished could be locked away forever. He remembers the sight as he looked into their eyes—the utter betrayal.

The smirk of mischief and evil as the one and only person he ever could love has turned against him. The moment when he got stabbed in the chest, too close to his heart. And in that moment, he had to choose selfishly in a way he never wanted to.

And that choice was his life over theirs.

You didn’t know what to say at the moment, Katuski just dropped the biggest bomb you had the burden of holding. Stammering with your thoughts, you say the first thing that comes to mind. “I’m so sorry that happened to you, Katsuki…”

“I would’ve never known–”

“It wasn’t for you to know; I don’t even know why I told you that,” he said to himself. You softly smile at his harsh words.

“Well, not to toot my own horn but I’m your fiance,” you chuckled. Katsuki gives you a smirk before he looks at your hand. "Then, where’s your ring?” He asked.

“In my room, placed somewhere safe and out of harm's way!” you smiled.

"Well, I’m gonna need you to start wearin’ it more,” he retorted.

“I figured that after your little speech, you gave us away like you weren’t even trying.” You spat out sarcastically. “I didn’t even mention your name!” He raised his voice in protest. “Yeah? Well, I’m sure everyone connected the dots to a perfect fuckin T.” You spoke with a smirk.

"Well then if they decide to connect those lines to the press, that NDA will be there waiting for them to get bit in the ass,” he snapped back.

You laugh at his words before taking a final sip of your beer.

“Why did you choose to give yourself a chance with me?”

Oh, you were buzzed.

“You are a hero that’s supposed to date other heroes, top models, and superstars of your caliber. Why date some small-town secretary that doesn’t even fully have a quirk?” you spoke, just above a whisper. Scared of his next response. Feeling that as if you got the wrong response, you just might hurl all over him.

Katsuki lets out a sigh before he silently panders to himself. He was eyeing you up and down before he finally spoke with a smirk.

“I’m not sure, wishful thinking?”

“asshole”

YAAAAAAAAASSSSUHU IM BACK IM BACK

I saw all your comments begging me to come back, next chapter when? next chapter when? NEXT CHAPTER NOW HOE

As you all might know now, I am a busy college student who finally has time to fantasize and write to my heart's content. SO YOU WILL BE GETTING MORE CHAPTERS OUT OF ME VERY SOON!!

Thank you all so much for the support, I love you all and hope you guys have an amazing read! Please let me know how I did in the comments. Comments and reposts are very much appreciated!!

— lovelyiida 

❥: @xo-evangeline, @inlovewithteo217, @im-better-than-your-newborn, @nar00, @king-dynamight, @gold24fish, @xasilex, @the-queen-of-sorrows , @itgetzweird08 , @yoyosocks165 , @pebblepoop , @lovra974 , @bakugospartner , @gaby-11 , @akqsa-xxi , @jolynegf , @goldenglow149 , @aliruuiz , @zukowantshishonourback , @ilovedenk-i , @atsushiki , @smolbeanzzz , @lem-hhn , @stevenknightmarc , @katsu-shi , @ryumiii , @idontevenknowlolls , @lyn07 , @kennshifts , @ackerman-suck-3-r , @alicen23 , @xasilex , @elegantvoids , @lowkeyremi , @plutounderbridges , @k0z3me , @thecurlyhairedgoddess , @sunyrose , @winterv-black , @chuugarettes , @kiarathace , @thisbicc , @thekookiecorner , @hyu-hl , @katsukisxslut , @optimisticprime3 , @cosmicbreathe , @yessimo , @sanemishina , @snxwycloud , @cosmic-rainstorm , @vinivave , @venus-xxoo , @lavender99 , @iluv-ace , @artfulthoughtsblog , @thatcreepycat , @prettylittleshady , @lavalampfullofsoup, @melodykittya , @bakugoiidaswaifu, @queendynamite2001, @starxsage, @mikestuffffs, @queendynamite2001, @kazuumii, @Minori-taiga1, @Liveurlifetothefullest

[liesmyth]

the locked tomb holiday exchange rec list

Behold! The good, the magnificent, the sad! The filth and the angst and the feelings! The weird shit that would make TazMuir proud! 💀🎉✨☠️🔥🎊

Here are some favourites from a skim of works posted for @tlt-holiday-exchange, both art and fic. They are MANY and they are JUICY. Find the entire collection HERE, and keep an eye on for authors reveal coming soon!

ART FILLS

A Beautiful Fairy Tale. Wake tells little Bomb a bedtime story but she can't mention a princess without talking about guillotines. Rated T.

Dubious Curiosity. Nona is curious. Nona loves everyone. And Nona wants Cam. (Camilla/Nona) Rated M.

Fingers In Her Mouth. Camilla Hect misses the Warden. Maybe he can lend a helping hand… even in death. (Camilla/hand!Palamedes) Rated M.

just guys being bros. Camilla/Gideon. Gideon touches a boob! A very happy new year to awkward butch lesbians everywhere. Rated T.

Pyrrha Dve Appreciation. Pyrrha & Nona, soft hugs! Rated G.

Stealing Breath. Camilla/Gideon butch-off make-out session. Rated G.

To Shreds, You Say? Pyrrha/Mercymorn/Wake fucking nasty. Rated E.

FIC FILLS

a buried and a burning flame. Coronabeth fucks Gideon's corpse. Rated E.

For all intents and purposes the corpse of the Ninth’s cavalier is a bad lay. That’s all fine, though.

a grave, deep and narrow. Camilla/Palamedes, GtN AU, Character Death, Tape Recorder Conversation Redux. Podfic included! Rated T

Only Lyctors were meant to leave the First House alive. Ianthe insists on bringing Coronabeth; Judith dies of her injuries. Camilla is stranded alone at Canaan House — alone, except for the persistent hallucinations of her necromancer.

affix. Coronabeth/Harrow, humiliation kink, improper use of bones, dom!Harrow, GtN era. rated E.

Cytherea doesn't go to Canaan House AU - Corona overconfidently approaches Harrow in the hopes of exchanging lab keys. Harrow humbles her quickly.

AITA for telling my dad I didn't like my birthday party? Gideon & John, In-Universe Social Media, Character study, Rated T.

I (20F) told my dad (45?M) that I wanted a cool birthday party, but he threw me a terrible birthday party instead. Am I really the asshole for telling him I didn't like it?

and kings shall come out of thy loins. Gideon/Ianthe, crack treated seriously, body horor, SNAKES. Rated M.

Ianthe saves God from the stoma and the River and all she has to show for it are these fucking snubes.

come, dearest heart. Lyctor Palamedes AU, HtN era. Camilla/Palamedes, Pyrrha/Palamedes, Pyrrha/Camilla/Palamedes. Rated E.

In Canaan House, Palamedes Sextus unwillingly ascends to Lyctorhood to put an end to Cytherea the First's rampage. He's left heartbroken, grieving, and terribly, terribly lonely.

Don't Care If You Think I'm Dumb (I Don't Care At All). Gideon/Ianthe, Gideon as Kiriona, Unwholesome Tower Princes Bonding ft. bad sex and retail therapy. Rated E.

The newly christened Kiriona Gaia is not having a good time on the Mithraeum. At least she has Ianthe there to make her worse.

Follow Your Dreams, Never Let Them Die. Gideon/Harrow, Pokemon trainers AU! Rated T.

On her Pokemon Journey, Gideon Nav approaches the mysterious Drearburh City Gym - but something feels oddly familiar.

Gaia's Natural Market. modern AU, retail hell, Harrow/Gideon, Harrow/Ianthe, Gideon/Ianthe. Rated T

RING-A-DING-DING, the Holiday's are here! And nothing says "Give!" like the bounty of the Mother Herself, so come on by to GAIA's Natural Market! Treat your family to a home-cooked meal with only the PUREST of ingredients - all Produce Organic, all Products non-GMO, and all Smiles Authentic and free of Toxins!

Good Girl. Coronabeth/Ianthe, puppyplay, muzzles, rated E.

Coronabeth is Ianthe's big dicked bimbo puppy. Ianthe's into it.

Goodnight, New Rho. Camilla & Nona. Domestic Fluff, Missing Scene. Rated G.

Nona gets a bedtime story. Camilla reminisces about growing up with an older sister. They both sleep well, despite a notable lack of dogs.

In the Empire of the Deeps. Gideon/Nona/Ianthe, Gideon/Ianthe, Pirate AU, monsterfucking-adjacent, Nona is an eldritch sea creature. Rated E.

A chance encounter on the beach. Ianthe is manipulative, Kiriona is sad, and Nona is not as innocent as she seems. Sometimes, you might yearn for one person and meet another one. Sometimes, you have to take what you can get.

just like normal. Ianthe/Coronabeth, Cytherea is also there. Penis in vagina sex, Exhibitionism, Squirting. Rated E.

Ianthe gives herself a cock, and Corona is increasingly bewildered that she hasn’t been allowed to sit on it yet.

language of its own. Camilla/Palamedes. Worldbuilding, idiots to lovers, pre-canon. Rated T.

Camilla Hect has to do an erotic poetry final.

Masochism Tango. Porn with feelings, knifeplay, vivisection, lyctor-typical everything. Rated E.

Two occasions in which Pyrrha Dve had the pleasure of being under Cytherea's knife, and Mercymorn had the pleasure of Pyrrha Dve.

METHODS OF SUBDUCTION. Judith/Cornabeth, Judith & Varun. Planetary science rizz. Rated M.

Varun the Eater teaches Judith Deuteros how to flirt.

midnight mass. Mercymorn/Cristabel, pre-canon, Character Study. Rated T.

A lifetime before the resurrection and two decades before the apocalypse, a novice nun and a third-year medical student discuss goodness, passion, and salvation at midnight on Christmas morning.

motherhood. Mercymorn uses flesh magic on Wake. Hate sex ensues. Body horror, motherhood as violence, canon compliant. Rated E.

“I will kill you,” you say, with all the placid fervor of a religious convert. When you’re on the edge of real violence, you lose that tense little furrow in your brow—it’s beautiful, really. “Please give me a reason.”

My Love Overflows. Corona/Ianthe, Strap-on, Dirty talk, Impact Play, Hair Pulling, Bladder control. Rated E.

The one in which Corona pisses all over herself at Ianthe's whims.

name and rank. Judith/Coronabeth, Judith & Varun. Judith's failwoman swag! Rated T.

As Judith lies dying, she has nothing but time. Varun the Eater uses it to teach her how to flirt with the Princess. Don’t worry. Varun has got this!

New Rule. Mercymorn/Pyrrha, Ranch AU, stablehand Pyrrha, boss/employee relationship. Rated E.

Never hire stablehands who are too handsome and capable for their own good.

no shade in the shadow of the cross. Cytherea/Mercymorn, angst, fisting, two pillow princesses NOT making it work! Rated E.

Cytherea and Mercymorn have an ill-timed tryst.

per my last email. Camilla/Palamedes. Academia, banter. On peer review and multitasking. Rated M.

“Warden,” she said patiently, “you want me so badly it’s making you stupid."

RISKING OUR LIVES FOR UNIVERSITY HOLE???? 🤯😳 University AU, Team 69. The hole is a basement to be clear! Rated T.

The difficult part of visiting the local haunted house for a feature in the university magazine is not actually the visiting; it’s the writing about it afterwards.

So Messed Up. Ianthe/Coronabeth. Puppy play, collars & leashes, tail plug. Rated E.

Ianthe using her flesh magic to give Corona a big cock for petplay because she loves the idea of her sister being a big dicked bimbo puppy girl who just wants to rut into her.

The Great Gamete Gambit. Camilla & Palamedes, Pre-canon, worldbuilding, sixth house reproductive practices. Rated G.

Palamedes and Camilla have an important package to send, but there's been a heist in the gamete repository! Can the 15-year-old Master Warden and his cavalier crack the case?

The Sextus Scandal. Camilla/Palamedes, Epistolary, Pre-Canon Divergence. Rated E.

Transcripts and documents relating to the disciplinary hearing and subsequent resignation of Master Warden Palamedes Sextus.

Ways to Be Perfect. Babs/Colum Asht, GtN era, Rated M.

When Naberius first glanced across the supper table at Colum Asht, he didn’t immediately get the impression that he was liked.

The end!

Thank you for making it this far. If you enjoyed any of these works, or anything else in the collection, please drop a comment to make our creators feel appreciated <3

[post creators reveal exchange wrap post]

[ilikepjo24]

Octavian is not the villain all of you make him out to be.

He's annoying. He slices open teddy bears to supposedly see the future. He's a rich boy (although we never actually see him brag about that). Out of context, he sounds like a demonic toddler. He's a blackmailer. He's a fucking asshole. But that's all.

Not trusting Percy? Perfectly normal. If all your life you were told that there's this group of people that you've been in war with ever since before the Roman Empire was a thing, that this group of people hates you with a burning passion and wants nothing more than to see your doom, that you've hurt and humiliated them and they've hurt you and humiliated you back, that they inferior to you in every way, and then a person from that group showed up at your doorstep, chased by monsters and started making friends with a suspicious looking guy that turned out being a spy and an undead person, would you trust them?

Personally, I wouldn't. Remember, the audience knows and loves Percy, but to a stranger Percy is a random, aggressive, powerful dude that causes chaos everywhere he goes and is the main suspect in multiple cases of terrorism. To Octavian, a person he knew and had worked with and might have enjoyed the presence of suddenly went missing, and then this troublesome, forbidden kid shows up and hangs out with a spy and a zombie. What reason could he possibly have to like Percy? How is he a villain for not trusting Percy? He's just being a freaking sane person dude.

Not go mention that Percy was also a forbidden child, one that typically everyone is wary of. And what does the greek forbidden child that causes chaos and develops friendships with spies and zombies do? He goes in one quest and is immediately granted the position that Octavian has wanted and has been working for for years, which happens to be the same position that Octavian's... Friend (?) had before he literally went missing. Doesn't it sound a bit suspicious when your powerful friend disappears, and a powerful potential enemy with questionable company shows up and steals your friend's job?

What luck, am I right? For a powerful enemy to show up as soon as there's a position of power open that needs to be filled by somebody who has power? Who's to say that Nico, who was later on proven to be a spy, wasn't send there by Percy? Who's to say Percy wasn't the one to kidnap and maybe even kill Jason, so that the position of the praetor would be open for him to take, and then allow Greeks into the camp so that they can destroy it and win this endless, centuries old war between Romans and Greeks?

And isn't that exactly what Percy ended up doing? He was granted praetorship, allowed Greeks into that camp on a heavily weaponed, flying warship, and they ended up blowing up part of the camp!

And what excuse do they give him for that? "This dude you don't know and don't trust and has built this warship got possessed by a ghost who we claim is rising but have no real, solid proof to support this claim. But she is rising and she did posses Leo, he didn't want to do it, he's a good guy that just happened to walk into your property with a huge weapon and blew up your house by accident. Despite all you've ever been taught about Greeks and despite that all the history books have told you about how much they hate you, and despite the extremely suspicious circumstances surrounding the situation, and despite blowing up your home, Greeks actually love you and want to work with you. Trust me bro." And this was coming from the dude that was friends with a literal spy that lied and kept secrets from everyone.

You know guys, you're right, I'm starting to see why all of you hate Octavian so much. He's being so unreasonable and overreacting over such small things. 😐 /sarcasm.

And then you were all upset that he gathered an army to go to war against the people that threw bombs in his house to defend himself.

Octavian was a dick, that's out of the question. He manipulated and blackmailed people. But the only thing he did that crossed the line of "dick" and entered "villain" territory was being the primary suspect for Gwen's murder. And she didn't even stay dead, so even that is not that bad.

This proven.

And for scientific reasons, I want to see if I actually convinced anyone.

[pippin-pippout]

So I dragged myself kicking and screaming and, yes, mostly in denial, through the last episodes of A Journey to Love.

My thoughts can be summarized as follows:

Obviously this is mainly due to me being horrifically traumatized by Yuan Lu’s death. After all, they told us from the get go he wouldn’t live to 20. They made it clear he had a deadly heart disease. And then. They had the nerve. They had the audacity. They had the actual fucking bahoonga BALLS to follow through!?

But then I found myself sobbing at literally every good guy death scene, plus all of the mourning scenes. The latter was in large part thanks to Alen Fang's acting - deepest apologies to him for just referring to his character as 'the slutty one' for the majority of the show. Not that I was wrong. Also thanks to strong performances from He Lan Dou for Yuan Lu's death.

Anyway so I need to add this gif x4 for the Liudao Hall babies:

Qian Zhao, da ge, who made mistakes but always did right in the end

Sun Lang, who just wanted to hold something fluffy at the end, dying a hero

Yuan Lu, who died in his princess's arms after running to deliver a letter rendered useless by the Emperor of An's greed.

Yu Shisan, who lived as he lived and had such a happy moment with Chu Yue right before it all became irrevocable.

When they added Yu Shisan to the snowball fight, I just about lost it. Liu Yuning's acting there - having the realization about Shisan's death as he watched them play in real time was so well done. Really hurt.

Plus I'll make a couple of versions with edits.

For the Wu Emperor. I knew it was gonna happen from the spoilers but damn, him genuinely learning the value of friendship and brotherly love made me root for him. Dude did not deserve to go out like that. Thank goodness for the magic of CDramas where he lived just long enough to pass on his will to Ning Yuanzhou, and do one last act of good.

It also ensured Duke of Chu was able to pass on his command to his daughter, Chu Yue, before dying of the same (was not clear if her bro died or not, or if dad was always going to choose her).

And for Deng Hui. Started out thinking he was just a sexist bastard. Turns out he was one of the most principled characters in the show.

Their deaths didn't make me cry, but I respect them.

Also loved Chen Du Ling's (Empress of Wu) small part in this. I may not like all of her characters but she can deliver a scene and hold a room. It was a bit cathartic to see her put every man in their place, and basically decide the fate of two countries, even though her lament that she'd only ever have power through another held true.

Ah Ying, my baby girl. This is a character that could have turned people off from the beginning. Thanks to strong writing and stronger acting, it did not. I was super impressed with He Lan Dou. She can dial it up and dial it down in a single take, and can play big dramatic scenes with a subtlety that some older actors cannot grasp. This was the first thing I've seen her in, though for her and Chen You Wei (Yuan Lu) I might watch Tiger and Crane if someone tells me it's good.

I still think Li Tongguang is a perverted and creepy child, who never managed to learn (except in literally the last ep), but at least I trust that he will treat Ah Ying well. I don't hold it against him for screwing up the battle - he was trying to be benevolent but made a bad choice.

The main couple win it for me this year. What an inspired pairing. They beat out heavy hitters including Bai Lu x Everyone which was near impossible. Something to do with letting Liu Shi Shi use Liu Yuning's height against him at every possible moment. Also the 'if you die, I'll finish the job and then follow you' is my favorite dynamic. I swear when Ruyi threw those bombs, NOT NEEDING TO HAVING ALREADY SUCCEEDED AT KILLING THE KING AND PRINCE, just to join him, y'all I died. Good for whoever posthumously gave her the Marquis title on her own (not just furen) - couldn't tell if it was Li Tongguang acting as regent or Dayang (great shot of those two at the end).

The final episode was one of the best final cdrama episodes I've seen. I might have to make another post about that. In sum, despite losing a large portion of the well-loved cast, the remainder gave a world-class finale. The visuals were incredible (explosions are my favorite). The final scene was beautiful (though I'm a bit surprised they gave it to Chu Yue instead of Ah Ying who knew all 6 of them closely).

[the-ultimate-pie-family]

Cadaver and Comet defending no mercy part 1

'Cadaver and Comet got teleported to a left 4 dead realm seeing the infected attacking ponies turning them instantly' cadaver comet this way 'vanity called out to them sigaling them to follow as aboomer vomited on all three of them' gross..... run guys 'cadaver comet and vanity ran for the castle' blood? Kids? Aunty Vanity, where's dad at? huh? He's not here? What 'vanity passed out from shock' oh shit I'm going out there, cadaver. Are you crazy i have to blood been there for me. We stitch, brother, and I'm going out there

"Cadaver ran out to serach for blood and any other survivors but git pull back in by comet." Do you have a death wish, Cadaver blood will be fine he's more strong then any of us, no audience vanity, none taken. My draconequus bf is strong, but against zombies, I'll probably get turned if I wasn't lucky to have him...... ~hours has passed, and there is no sigh of blood or survivors, but Pinkie kept their hopes up by talking to them~ "

aunty, is dad gonna make it back? He will midnight, but it's getting dark soon, and the no mercy hospital is like 50 miles away... "Vanity was worried till Cadaver got up and got packed to go searching." I'm going alone or with a group whose with me."Vanity comet and midnight got up and got packed." we are Cadaver, "then a thundering sound came and teleported richtofen, dempsey, takeo, nikolai the OG 935 group" no way?.... god dammit richtofen you teleported us to the wrong realm again. oh, so very sorry, American monkey. Uncle richtofen dempsey takeo nikolai, why are you guys here? Richtofen here fucked up. but the 115 is damaged is B around she's the technician here, right? Upstairs uncle "richtofen ran upstairs" what's next my other family members? "Cadaver Vanity comet and pinkie already left" blood? Babe? Son? "They heard nothing but silence it was quiet too quiet" blood? Anyone? "They heard a groan a growl and a cough." i don't like those sounds, guys, "then the boomer vomited on all four of them summoning zombies from the smell of vomit. They were surrounded to get ripped to pieces." Pipe bomb out, move in team, four survivors grabbed them, and ran for the castle." Dammit richtofen would quit fucking shit up don't look at me pony boy. uh bullshit you brought half my family here from different realms, and you four are here too, so it's your fault blood calm down were all still alive here oh yeah where louis coach nick and Bill huh? We got separated in our realms, and they are probably relaxing blood. I don't know, ellis, it's odd. Seeing you guys here alive again...... tank........ guys tank move watch "then four tank bust threw the wall of the castle roaring"

"Vanity, cadaver, blood, and comet stranded their grounds while the rest escaped," four tanks, huh.... what scared were gonna die, bro? We can't show fear. We need to by them some time to escape. till death then. charge!!!!! "Vanity started throwing lighting at a tank, dodging the other tank attack," in coming. "Blood yelled out, and then he got decked by a tank Cadaver, then grabbed a crowbar, jumped on the tank, and started stabbing it." i could use some help here, "Comet was firing the LMG till it clicked while Vanity was still roasting the tank with light while blood was full on fighting a tank"

To be continued

Mod pie: Part 2 soon

Tag: @clown-sip @vanitythevantropist

[sapphosdickandballs]

Dear Sapho- her dick, her balls (dont blme me blame amal El-mohtar)

I see you have taken my challenge and engaged me in battle. Now beholth! the arcane edition!

Vi.

Cait

Jayce

Viktor

Mel

Silco

powder (note i did not say Jinx).

I look forward to your reply,

kiekebe

Vi-

How I feel about vi…I do feel like fandom has fucked her over a bit. I think she’s undergone hot and gay syndrome (fatal) when she’s actually a complex character. I’m super excited to watch her spiral into depression. I also think thatttt Caitlyn makes her better and more interesting

CAITLYN KIRAMMAN is there even any other answer

her and jinx

I…don’t think she’s that hot. I wanna look like her, for sure (gender envy like you wouldn’t believe) but like. She’s competing with sevika and mommy abassarda and Mel and jinx and Caitlyn and that’s just counting the women. So like. Also maybe it’s finding out the VA for vi is a Zionist. And I feel like her voice was a main appeal for her (at least to me) so

Canon caitvi. I wanted it in the first season. If it’s not in the second season I will genuinely cry

Caitlyn -

Literally number one cait fan here. She’s never done anything wrong and I love her and I also need her so bad. Girls with blue hair istg

Again. Vi. Best ship

Her and Jayce are actually pretty cute together I fear

She’s one of my favorite characters, which might be uncopular. And I like her more than vi, which is definitely unpopular.

I need angst. I need her to lose her mind. I need to watch her spiral into a terrible mess. Literally a requirement.

Jayce -

😴😴😴. He’s boring. I will give him the benifit of the doubt that he needs another season to cook, but like. Boring man

No one lmao.

Like I said, him and cait or him and viktor are sweet.

Idk. Probably that I don’t like Jayvik. Or that I think he’s silly looking.

Wanted him to smack his head on an open cabinet. The man needs that idk.

Viktor

Uh. He’s okay. I think he has a lot of potential. I think he’s gonna eat in the second season. As it is I thought him a tad bit underwhelming. But I’m strapped in and ready for his arc to finish.

Therapy

Him and Jayce or I feel like him and Jinx would get along

Hes not attractive to me 😭 I’m sorry. He looks malnourished I’ve never been into that

I want him to die

Mel-

Trying very hard not to bark at my screen she’s so arugaidiajkekfn. She’s so fine i swear. Oh she’s done shitty things but who cares.

No one is good enough for her. Especially not Jayce 😭

Her and her mom should patch things up I feel like that’s very sad. And if she dies! If she dies and never gets to make up with her mom!!

That she can do no wrong. She’s the best

Living. I need her to live that’s what I want.

Silco -

Silco’s story I was slurping it up with a spoon. I love sympathetic villains. I love horrible people with soft spots. The character himself was horrid but did I cry at you’re perfect? Yes

Proud Vander and Silco shipper. Those two old men should kiss I fear

Him and Jinx >>>

Ugh idk. Ig that I think he should’ve died. That makes sense. That’s a natural conclusion that’s the only way his story could’ve ended

I wish he would’ve given up jinx bro. For the good of the nation. Or fucked nasty with Vander at least once

Powder (you’re devious for this one)

😭😭😭 She kind of reminds me of my sister so I was in PAIN watching her scenes. I love her and I miss her. RIP in peace queen

Shes. A child??

Her and vi or her and ekko

She was kinda dumb for the monkey bomb thing. Like she threw a whole ass bomb and was like oh yeah this will have a great result. Ik why she did it but girl

🤷‍♀️

[kyurilin]

So back in October I posted some of my old DBZ art for the first time, and now here it is March and Akira Toriyama has passed away.

So I'm back with more and a story about the adventure it took my brother to get me into DBZ in the first place and why it now holds a special place in my heart.

Back when we were growing up, we weren't allowed to watch anime. It was one of the weird rules my dad set that to this day still has no explanation. At some point in middle school or early high school my brother got introduced to DBZ Abridged, and spent a few years trying to get me into it (and failing). I knew very little about DBZ but just enough that when I attempted to watch Dragonball Evolution I knew it was fucked up (also it was boring WITHOUT knowing everything).

But we'd play video games together, and after years of playing Super Smash Bros together, my brother knew the one surefire way to get me invested in SOMETHING DBZ.

And that was DBZ Budokai Tenkaichi 2.

The first five characters I chose from that roster to fight him as ended up being my favorites (hint: most of the art that's colored in this post is a character I picked in 2010 to play).

From there he got me interested enough to buy low priced DBZ VHS movies from Amazon (the Bardock special was $1.01 with 99¢ shipping in 2010, btw) and watch them. And then threw a Pokemon reference in Abridged he got me into watching that.

For the longest time, I was hooked on the random pieces of DBZ I could absorb, which meant watching the ever growing collection of movies we had, each new episode release of Abridged, and occasionally even watching bits and pieces of DBZ Kai. I even started collecting the manga for both DBZ and OG Dragon Ball. I didn't get around to watching the actual DBZ series until 2018 (my first watched anime series is actually FMA: Brotherhood because of this).

But it was something I shared with my brother and we had so much fun playing Budokai Tenkaichi 2 and 3 with each other. We've always played fighting games with random options in such a way that every first few matches we would just hit the random character button and play out whatever happened from there before finally playing as the characters we cared about. We would spend hours, especially with Budokai Tenkaichi 3, making our own tournament brackets and then playing them through. Each match would be fought by us, 1v1, and if one of the two characters was one we were good at, that person would get to play them. For matches that neither of us had a character to play, we'd flip a coin. We'd come up with our own silly rules for these tournaments and it was a blast. Once my brother almost won an entire thing as Kid Chi-Chi because he was really fucking good as her and even Omega Shenron's health advantage couldn't stop her. My brother could beat the shit out of Broly as Videl because she was so tiny it was hard to see her next to Broly.

I still don't watch a lot of anime, but DBZ is one of the four I do hold closest to my heart. And it's for a lot of reasons, like laughing with my brother as we decided to turn on The Lion Sleeps Tonight as background music for DBZ Budokai Tenkaichi 2 instead of the game's music (starting a tradition where wheneber we play fighting games we use our own playlist of music for it instead). It's for reasons like watching Abridged with my brother whenever the new episodes would drop, and being there for the Livestream premiere of Episode 60 after finishing all of DBZ only weeks earlier. It's for reasons like seeing Dragon Ball Super: Broly in theaters twice, and being so hyped to see not only Broly on the big screen, but Bardock who's been my favorite since day one. It's for reasons like the collection of photos I have of my brother doing Ginyu Force poses on a beach in 2010, for us pretending to give Goku energy during the series' final Spirit Bomb, for being so excited to see Android 17 back in DB Super. It's one of the things that I never thought we'd care about, but that I've cared about enough from the beginning that I made all this art in 2010, during our yearly beach trip, after only being a fan for a few months (the coloring came years later though).

And yes. There is a collection of poorly written DBZ fanfics buried both on my external hard drive and box of physical stories, but they're buried forever. There is a DBZ and a Dragon Ball fanfic by me on ff.net however so if anyone wants to see if they can figure out my 11/12 year old account, this blog has enough context clues somewhere to figure it out (maybe the DBZ one will get cross posted to AO3 and backdated someday who knows).

If it werent for Akira Toriyama and Dragon Ball, my brother and I would have had one less thing to bond over, and honestly? Wouldn't trade it for the world.

[tsuki-sennin]

We've survived the highs and lows of Jyama Ball, but we're only a little bit closer to discovering who the Desaster is. If they go undiscovered to the final round, they win the game outright and get their ideal world. And with the mysterious executives, Keiwa, Neon, and Ace's respective sponsors, Archimedel, and Buffa all making their moves, something tells me the real game is only beginning.

...more importantly than any of that though, where the Hell are we headed now?! Why are there BOMBS everywhere? What do the Jyamato even have to gain from these constant invasions other than food and conquest?

All these questions and more... probably not answered today, but like, important to keep in mind.

Spoilers, I guess...

-Neooooon!

-Neon, baby, if you're the impostor I'm gonna cry.

-Good morning Chirami.

-Oh okay, we're supposed to become fan favorite. I see.

-Well, from what I've seen from the fandom as of yesterday, a number of folks have taken very kindly to Sae-san (rightfully so), so if this were the real world she'd probably win this. Doubly so if she's the Desaster.

-Oh shit! Sara-neesan!

-...oh, she's... she's fine, seemingly.

-Can't cut a pineapple smh.

-Bomb Pineapple!

-Ohhhh, we're dead.

-Jyamato Express!

-Fruit!

-Bombs!

-Fruit Bombs!

-Ooooooh, even more Jyamato ciphers.

-I imagine a lot of folks are hard at work.

-Blowing up an entire city block.

-I see Creepy Garden Daddy Archimedel's very proud of his little Freedom Clubbers.

-Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes!

-Damn, Takahashi's Steam list must be wilding.

-Secret Mission Clear!

-For you, fox man!

-Awwww, spider phone cute :)

-First Blood!

-The Gun!

-Magnum!

-It's back!

-Ringo?

-There's just something so funny to me about how minimal the Jyamato Pawn costumes are. Head, limbs, uniform, that's all you need.

-"OHHHHHH MY SISTER'S GETTING BOMBED"

-"Oh hey little bro, I got tied up. Can you do me a solid and get the kitchen knife?"

-Sae-san's very cool and collected under pressure. Can see why she was picked for this.

-Oh hey, Mrs. Kurama~! I'm still pissed you slapped my homegirl Neon, just so you're aware.

-"Neon's a big girl, she can handle herself. She'd never be able to achieve her dreams"

-Ohhhh, Papa Naoto. You're extremely sus.

-"Time to go to work. See you around."

-I see Mama Kurama's not an entirely heartless lunatic.

-You tell her, girl!

-I'm gonna be honest, I'd be proud of Neon if she were the Desaster.

-There's the Buffa Core ID.

-No doubt there's gonna be a lot of Zombie DNA in that mutant.

-Oh?

-Oh, hello.

-Sponsor-sama!

-So, she's got big plans for ol' Michinaga.

-Beroba...

-Ohhhhh, he's got an infection.

-"You wanna beat the shit outta all them dirty Kamen Riders, huh~? How about you let me pay for everything, no strings attached!"

-A proper sadist, this one!

-Takahashi's giving us a lot of interesting female characters this go around.

-Well, Beroba-san. You're obviously a cold-blooded murderer, you've got a killer fashion sense, your first appearance is accompanied by scary organ music, you're friends with Papa Archie, you got jelly beans...

-Yeah, you're totally trustworthy. I hear you're played by an idol?

-Sae-san... you care a hell of a lot about your family, huh?

-Oooooh, Okinawan.

-Keeping yourself in peak condition for your family. I happen to know a dude in a bathhouse who'd be very impressed with you, Sae-san.

-Neon...

-Who threw that bomb?

-"Did somebody say BOMB~!?"

-Gotta save Onee-sama!

-Ohhhh, sunset is fast approaching.

-I'm surprised we haven't seen lemons yet.

-At least, I don't think so, the picture quality I have ain't the best.

-Michinaga!

-Jurapira!

-Buffato!

-Oooooh, he's pissed!

-"Fuck the bull! Go get pineapples for our Hawaiian barbecue!"

-Can't get in!

-Ooooooh, Zombie Tycoon!

-Damn, Keiwa's playing hard!

-Red Wire.

-HOLY SHIT BUFFA DODGED POINT BLANK

-Goddamn, these stunts are sick every time I see 'em.

-OHHHHH MY DUDE JEAN GOT A GUN

-Okay I checked, it seems it's Gene, okay.

-Hello, Beroba-chan. Guess the dweebs are fighting.

-"I'm betting all my money on that buffalo guy."

-...seems that Gene's okay with this.

-OH GOD NEE-SAMA

-Red wire!

-Nut up man, do it!

-We did it!

-No more pineapple for ever.

-Sibling banter

-Oh man, it's dark out.

-Seems Michi's in no shape to kill anyone today.

-Compass!

-Snacc

-Well, gotta keep the sponsors happy.

-Oh, the producer's coming in.

-...wonder if this is a metaphor of some kind.

-Ah yep! Sae-san was the sussiest baka all along!

-Lone wolf Lopo played nice for so long.

-Oooooh, that's a Glare retool. ...I suppose Gazer's our new "coming in hot and spicy".

-I wonder if we're gonna see a new DGP higher-up come kick ass every new arc?

-...fuck, what if we have to beat up Mama Mitsume? I don't think poor Ace can handle it.

-Shit seems to be getting real now.

[foggyparadisecandy]

[TW: dark shit ahead]

Ok - another venting post - disregard - go read one of my horny hypno stories or a trance instead lol

Click here for trances

We all have our stories to tell. I don't think mine is horrible tbh but ... that's probably because I survived it and learned to minimalize it - like all survivors do.

"It's ok" "It's fine" "I'm ok" "Oh it wasn't that bad"

My therapist has assured me none of those things are true lol

My child mind couldn't process it and so I just learned patterns and behaviors to accept it in as my reality.

I had a loving healthy family up until I was 8 years old.

My mom had a horrible life-altering health scare - was taken away to the hospital by paramedics in the middle of the night - one of my last few memories from my childhood. My dad stood sobbing - the last time I saw an emotion from him that wasn't anger.

My younger bro and I were shuttled between relatives for a period of time - no idea how long - weeks? months? no clue

We were taken in to the hospital to see my mom at some point - banged up - shaved head - looking creepy as hell to our young eyes.

And ... this was horrific to me ... she told us - I'm sure it was based in kindness to prepare us - that she was given a year to live.

Well ... good news ... she lived a lot longer than that.

Bad news is she was horribly damaged from the brain injury and subsequent trauma of the life-altering experience. To compound things, my dad turned to drinking heavily and escaping us all in the bottom of a bottle.

I never again felt my father's love.

And my mom was mixed at best. Up and down. I would say somewhere along the lines she developed bipolar disorder - manic and depressive.

She would love us obsessively. She would threaten to kill us. I was always the one who had to walk her off the ledge - telling her I'm sorry we were bad kids. Telling her I'm sorry we upset her. Telling her we would be good from now on. Telling her we wanted to live.

She would bend over backwards to make us feel good. She would threaten to burn the house down while we were sleeping. Well ... how the fuck do you sleep well at night with that information? Gee mom ... that sounds awful. Will you please not do that? I slept with one eye open until finally I just accepted it - I could die at any moment because my mom was a nut.

She taught me to shoplift. When I got caught, she threw me under the bus and told the security guard that I was a problem child. HAHAHA ... I was a goody two shoes child. Having my mother tell a stranger I was a problem was quite a thing to hear. She apologized after and told me to never shoplift again. Fuck that. I kept stealing shit until I was in my late teens. I WANTED TO GET CAUGHT AND PUNISHED.

So yeah ... I know other people have had it hard. And honestly ... I really never felt it was challenging. I just learned to feel bad and anxious all the time. I learned that I was never good enough and things were always uncertain. Loved ones hurt you.

I know a lot of people who have learned that lesson in different ways.

I can identify hurt people instinctively. I gravitate to them. I've always been attracted to them.

Especially hurt women. I want to nurture them, comfort them, love them, care for them, help them, fix them, support them - just like I learned to do with my fucked up mom. It's no wonder my parting with my lovely pet was so difficult.

And I learned to not express emotions. I learned to be the stoic one. The problem solver. But ... I'm not really stoic at all. I love with a burning intensity - desperate to care and take care of others - especially hurt women. I invest my emotional well-being in this activity.

I don't love ALL women. But if I love you, I FUCKING LOVE YOU. And I know that's a blend between nice and awful tbh. I can drown people in love. Uncharitable sorts might say I love bomb people but I don't do it with ill intentions. I do it because it's my damage. And it's unhealthy for me.

Ugh.

Knowing these things is only partially helpful. I need to address them, sort them, heal them as best as I can, identify when I fall into unhealthy patterns, and ... grow ... somehow.

Whatever. This is why I'm seeing a therapist. To sort through all this horrible horrible horrible shit.

I need to do it. I'm motivated to do it. I'm sick of being insecure and depressed all the time. With the darkness always at the corner of my mind telling me I'm a piece of shit no matter how much love I try to put out in the world. No matter how much I achieve.

Fuck. Parents fucking suck.

It took me decades to be ok with not loving my dad - feeling obligated to love that mother fucker. He abandoned us to alcohol. He fucking gave up on us because he was a coward and afraid to face the challenges we had. WE NEEDED THAT FUCKER AND HE RAN!

FUCK. No wonder I have abandonment issues. My ex KNEW THIS SHIT. God was she so awful in the end. She had her own shit she was dealing with. I forgive her 100% but it was still so fucking cruel of her.

Ah well. Working on it.

[lennjamin-o7]

🌯🗡️ anon here! Just woke up and the new chap and jesus christ I feel so fucking bad for Techno!

Like Phil genuinely can't come soon enough, when he next see's Techno I know that mans gonna be FURIOUS. God I don't even know what to start on there's just so much to like go over!

First with the people staring, of course they'd start getting eyefuls the second Phil isn't around to guard his sonboy and make them scatter away; It just sucks that Techno's gonna have to deal with it for now, don't worry Tech you have a very murderous father waiting for you, just wait a couple days and all will be fixed!

And then we move onto Mielle. Fuck Mielle. All my homies hate Mielle. Like I understand to a point that its fae nature to be an asshole since they're such self centred creatures but like, she's an asshole even for a fae. No wonder Phil rejected this little bastard, her vibes are simply too rancid to be allowed near his wonderful perfect wife!

She's gonna handle Phil not wanting her WONDERFULLY I can just tell after her totally reasonable response to the cookies. Also her wanting to yoink Phil's earring??? I already know that would've ended horribly for her, bros probably enchanted that to be a nuclear bomb for anyone else to wear. Nuclear bombza dare I say. I understand to a degree that the others are affected by whatever fae magic she's unconsciously / consciously using but honestly so far the only redeemable one is the queen.

Mielle: "I know you wanna adopt me SO BAD but I wanna stay with this family"

Phil: "Ew?? Who even are you??? Move aside so I can see my real baby"

Techno: 🧍‍♂️

Phil, practically vibrating with joy: "There he is!!! There's the boy!!!!" :D

Mielle: "HIM????"

Like with the cookie scene. "Techno’s grip around the bag loosened for a moment, habitually giving in to Mielle's request" Techno I don't think that's entirely habit. Mielle really wasn't prepared for her personal punching bag to gain a bit of magic resistance against her huh. Like I know Phil absolutely like enchanted the promise because that's technically a deal and since he's more powerful than her, he won that little battle but like bro accidentally threw Tech into like boiling water with that one.

Mielle: No fear

Phil: "I heard you gave Techno a bit of a scratch m8, lets have a little chat"

Mielle: 1 fear

or

Mielle after Techno spills what she did to Phil: "Why do I hear boss music??"

Also the scratch??? Phil was already gonna be mad about the hair but his sonboy being hurt?? In a custody battle they don't even know they're fighting??? If Kristin was already trying to deny him it'd take 1 look at the little skrunkle for him to just steal her Entire Heart away. Instantly.

Kristin: "Phil as much as I'd like to give into you, this is a very big commitment and I don't know if you're ready for it! No matter how wonderful he might be."

Techno: Walks in with a massive scratch on his cheek and his hair shaved off, visibly miserable. Very much looking like a sad wet cat.

Kristin: 🧡👄🧡

Kristin: "Oh. Oh he is a little baby isn't he? A sweet baby boy. A sonboy. Isn't he cute? He's kind?? Talented too, you say??? Our sonboy now. I want full custody and I want it NOW"

On that note though. Felix. Fuck Felix. All my homies hate Felix. Bro pretends to like sympathise with Techno but like very clearly sees himself above him. I wanna think he TRIES to be a good brother but if I'm completely honest I doubt that. Bro was obviously mad that Tech like started making his own way in the world. Watch it come up that the king and queen didn't order the hair thing at all. Purely just him bullying Techno for daring to say no to his spoiled brat of a sister.

He's still a bit of a magic baby anyway due to like Phils original deal so I think he'd have a bit of magic resistance too since the whole magical conception / womb deal. I could absolutely be wrong but like he clearly has some magic to him, meaning he in theory SHOULD be more resistant to Mielle. He probably just decides to give into her so he can feed his ego more.

You're like 21 bullying a 13 year old, get a fucking life Felix. Maybe get a hobby. I heard Getting Ripped Apart by Philza was about to come into season real soon; maybe give that a go! Oh also! I'm gonna cast my little guess for how this is gonna end out here to see how far off I might be when the end gets revealed. I have a feeling that it's gonna end in Mielle and Felix maybe getting punished rather than the queen and king.

Like yeah they're the ones that broke the deal but the kids ARE the deal and they have been fucking with Phil's new baby boy. So maybe the punishment will just be "You wanted kids?? I you had 3 but you refused to give me the 1 you promised so now I'm taking 1 by force and killing the other 2" type deal or more of a "You broke the deal but gimmie the one kid you had outside the deal and I'll call it even".

Oh and back to the hair! I'm not entirely sure how long it really is since Tech refused to look in the mirror so mentally I'm thinking of more of a classic Wilbur Soot type hair rn, does that mean Phils faerie knot got cut out?? If that's his tracker / the way he can get to his sonboy then that's even more angst for Tech. He's really just had an awful day. First he say to say bye to Phil, then Mielle is a bitch, then FELIX is a bitch and finally Phil doesn't come to visit him?? So much more skrunkle for the skrunkle boy!

I know I've like brushed on it a bit twice but like Phil is gonna be SO fucking furious when he see's what they've done. He leaves his baby boy in their custody for like 14 hours TOPS if he doesn't come visit Techno in the manor and they fuck up THAT much??? Like its good since that's gonna push Tech even more into Phil but also Phil wants Tech to be fucking happy for once!

Phil: "He's gonna come in any moment my love, you cant miss him, he's the boy with the long pink hair and adoptable vibes!"

Kristin: "I mean I see a kid with pink hair but his hair is far shorter than you said and and he looks miserable; He's kinda like a sad wet cat, I can see how he's perfect for us!"

Phil: :) "Ikr! He's so wonderfu- WAIT HOW DID THEY FUCK HIM UP THAT BAD SO QUICKLY????" >:O

Phil shaking the king and queen by the shoulders: >:( "WHAT DID YOU DO??? WHY DO YOU KEEP RUINING THINGS????"

I just love the thought of Phil having to like sales pitch Techno to Kristin and her having been on board ages ago or like her getting a single look at Techno and him just YOINKING her heart. Simply doing what Phil spent literal DECADES trying to do in like 2 seconds flat.

Phil: "Hes super good at archery, very kind and so SO skrunkly"

Kristin: :/ "Idk Phil I'm just not sure"

Phil, sighing: "I guess I have to pull out the big guns then"

Kristin "oh?"

Phil: "I saw him eat an entire hand pie in under 30 seconds. He unhinged his jaw like some kind of snake and nearly swallowed it whole. It was awful. I thought he was gonna choke like every bite!"

Kristin: :O

Kristin: "Terrifying. When can I meet him?? He sounds wonderful!" :D

Techno's gonna get so many pies when Phil wins the custody battle I can see it now. They call him the blood god because he's always 'covered in blood' but it's actually all the filling of the pies Phil gives him. He just shoved too many in his mouth at once and it got all over his shirt. He's too embarrassed to correct anyone so he just lets the rumour continue. Phil and Kristin find it HILARIOUS. Whenever Techno's upset in the future, post adoption, they always give him cookies or pie to comfort him. He deserves it.

Techno: 👁️💧🐽💧👁️

Phil: "I'm gonna give this boy so much fucking pie you don't even know"

Phil eventually teaches Techno how to bake, Techno immediately uses it for evil. The Potato Pie Incident will forever be feared in the fae court. That on top of many more disasters he begins through baking; he becomes as infamous as Phil because of it. Phil is so SO proud.

Fae courtier: "You suck! you're just Phil and Kristins pity project!!"

Techno: "Say that again and I PROMISE I'll go into the fucking kitchen and start baking ON TOP of telling mum and dad!"

Fae courtier, shaking in fear: "I'm so sorry young prince, I don't know what came over me! Please don't punish others for my actions!!"

or

Phil: "Hey Tech! How's my little piggy doing? What are you baking??" :D

Techno, in a frilly apron: "Revenge" >:(

Phil, crying: "I'm so proud!" :,)

I think that's enough brainrot for now, I hope you enjoy my novel; As always have a wonderful day and I'm sorry if I've overwhelmed you!

Gosh, I love your asks 💚💚💚💚💚

Techno is having a #time, certainly. Phil is not going to be happy about how Techno ks being treated. Like. At all.

He's a very special boy. Who wouldn't want to stare? But, to be fair, most of the people staring were humans. The fae scattered. They know better. Mostly. Some snuck back to stare once Philza skipped off. How could they not? Gossips, the lot of them.

Mielle is very much not a good person, nope. She is a bad apple, for sure. Kind of hard not to be when you are raised thinking you are perfect. She's selfish. She's vain. She thinks she is the only person and everyone else is just side characters. Techno saying NO???? Literally, hacks. No way. Couldn't happen. That is IMPOSSIBLE???

And yeah, Phil absolutely threw Techno into a very bad situation. Though, I think you might need to be wary of the "accidentally" in that sentence. Granted, I doubt he realized how hot the pot really was when he threw Techno into it.

As you said, he will NOT be happy with tbe scratch. His sonboy? Scratched? SCRATCHED?

I love how you describe Kristin seeing the sad skrunkle of a Techno for the first time. It had me cackling all day.

Yeah, Felix honestly thinks he's helping. He isn't, but he isn't being an ass just for the sake of being an ass. But he absolutely pulled the soup trick, and the exploring around thing to soften Techno to get him to cut his hair. Like, that was an intentional move. It wasn't a coincidence.

And Felix IS less affected by Mielle's magical pull. But, it's also a little sister who he was raised to be incredibly protective of and honestly hold in higher regard than his own country. His devotion is less magical and more that he was raised to view her as the most important person. Like, he was 4 when she was born. Imagine being told over and over again from the age of 4 that you HAVE to protect your sister. That your sister is delicate and special and we are putting everything on the line for her. Like, that's also a factor. He has more of a resistance, magically. But he was still raised to act that way.

I like hearing your predictions. :) Please continue to send them.

Techno's hair is very short. One inch of hair is not very long. My sister cuts hair, and I asked her how short 1 inch of hair is, and she said it was a clipper guard 8.

Which is something like this.

It's very short.

And yeah, the faerie knot got cut out :(

And your impression of Phil trying to convince Kristin is SENDING ME. Sales pitch Philza, convincing Wife about the benefits of new child. He's precious as an apple pie. So cute. Little bit skrunkle but that's a pro, not a con.

PIE FOR THE PIE GOD!!!

I appreciate every second of this! Every. Second. Sorry if I missed anything in my reply. It's a bit hard on mobile. But I have been sitting here, giggling, while reading this. Always feel free to share your thoughts!

[thelovelybitten]

vera's first time watching south park -- season three (part 2)

i hate this character limit shit ugh but here u go <3

EPISODE 7:

lmao cartman just being a kid so cute

"BUT MEEEEEMM" never gets old

oh GOD SHELLY AS THE BABYSITTER this is about to be messy

OH FUCK SHE DECKED HIM INTO THE WALL

HOLY FUCK THEY IN THE WWE RN

NOT THE ULTRA WEDGIE

jesus CHRIST SHE JUST DOESN'T STOP

EYE. not the animal PORN GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE

CARTMAN BFFR U DON'T GIVE THAT MUCH CATNIP DSBFJKDSBKG

this man a pedophile... awks

jesus I can't with shelly she is BRUTAL

this song is...a choice.

I'm tryna feel bad for shelly but I can't

where the honk did all these cats come from

this cat subplot is so... weird I don't like it

okay. this ep was. a wild ride i'd say lol

EPISODE 8:

RANDY. JUST BC HE HANGS OUT WITH KYLE A WHOLE TON DOESN'T MEAN HE CAN'T BE BI OR SUMTH.... if they want to, they will. if the don't, they still besties. period.

BUTTERS' FIRST LINES <3 MY CHERISHED BABY BOY BJKSDFJBDSJBGDS HE IS HERE

pip kinda weird tho

what in tarnation is this game y'all

sharon pop AWF mom get KRUNK BITCH

the dads getting into the hot tub lmao

period gerald

these DADS I CAN'T DJBSFKJSDBGKB

gerald. just say ur into randy FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

this awk atmosphere YIKES

yo gerald WHAT THE FUCK DID U JUST SAY

oh wait this IS HAPPENING AT THE SAME TIME AS LAST EP

cool ref

these people MAD WEIRD

STAN BEING AN ICON AS ALWAYS

wait WHAT THE FUCK THE DADS RLY DID THAT ??!?!?!?!??@?!/1/1? BE FUCKING FOR REALLLLL

RANDY ?!?2/2!?2?1

the PHOTO OF STAN FUCKING KILLS ME

randy and gerald got tension y'all...

BUTTERS HE'S A SWEET BOY SOBBING

oh god THIS SONG DOES SUCK

STAN AND BUTTERS :')

stan getting into the game werk

mr.mackey getting KRUNKKKKKK

randy in his homophobic era :/

GASP

"we all a little gay" SO TRUE BESTIE SO TRUE

NOT BUTTERS BEING DRAFTED AS SOON AS KYLE GOT THERE

style just reigns supreme ig

EPISODE 9:

IKE IN HIS LITTLE SUIT <3333333

this is also linked to the last two eps

SLAY KENNY

kenny listening so good meanwhile ike is having a MELTDOWN

I love the kyle/kenny dynamic it's so different but so refreshing

they could be bomb friends (but not as close as style)

IKE :"((((((

Kenny is just so cute

NOT KENNY GETTING THE BELL A BUNCH OF TIMES FKFBJDSSDKJBGJSB

kenny and kyle sfljbsajfbk they are hilarious

not the kid :(

Kenny sitting with his eyes open LMAO

KENNY MAKING HIS SOAP CARVING ON THE SPOT

NOT KENNY GET OUTTA HERE

kyle threw kenny under the bus little bitch

NO KENNY SDGBDSJBDSKBBK :(((((((((((

KENNY SAVE THE KIDS RN POP OFF MY SON

"SHIT." - KENNY MCCORMICK

the bears helping save the jew scouts w kenny and the squirts <3

GO KENNY GOOOOOOOO

NO KENNY'S DEAD :'(((((

oh my goD GOOD EP

EPISODE 10:

HALLOWEEN EPISODEEE

MY TRIO (stan, kyle, Kenny) those are my kids

okay but cartman is me tho

ayo KENNY WOULD WIN THE CONTEST DON'T DOUBT MY SON

is this a scooby doo reference? weird but okay ig

liane laughing at her own son LMAO

BRO WHAT NOT KYLE'S GRANDMA :'((((((

Y'ALL SICK FOR THIS

I feel so bad for kyle oh my god :'(

god the literal trauma kyle would go through for this

that's on god kyle we show respect in this house

NO NOT THE DOG EATING KYLE'S GRANDMA

what THE HELL CARTMAN NO

KYLE AND STAN <3 their costumes are so cute WHAT

SHERIFF STANLEY AND THE KYLE CLOWN AFJLDNSNKSJDG

YO KENNY'S ROBOT COSTUME ATE DOWN WHAT THE FUCK

real question: what money did kenny use to get this costume

sir u have money for maybe a pack of gum bffr

anyways

I'm ignoring this pirate ghost storyline/necrophilia storyline :/ it's weird

NOT STAN AND KYLE DON'T HURT THEM

excuse me...what

OH GOD NOT KYLE'S GRANDMA BE VOMITED BACK UP

the seizure warning was not mentioned OWCH

wenSLAY EATING THE COSTUME CONTEST AGAIN... SHE DOESN'T MISS EVER

EPISODE 11:

what in the pokemon ripoff is this

"but MEEEEEM"

DON'T STEAL FROM KENNY CARTMAN

no KYLE he's gonna be called OUT

GERALD KINDA ATE

no bc I don't think kyle's gonna keep up with the fads tbh

and here we go

no kyle resist

NO NOT KENNY GETTING A SEIZURE

god I feel for kyle so much

kyle, baby boy, ur doing great

why they FACES LIKE THAT STOP

WENDY ALSO IN ON THIS OMG SHE'S SO CUTE

WHAT.

oh lord this is a dumpster fire

cringe

DAMN STAN IS LOST

they ALL LOST

parents ate

kyle babe HAHAHA

DEAD "YET" PLEASE

nah this was the worst kenny death I almost vomitted

EPISODE 12:

A SPELLING BEE? interesting

I was good at the spelling bee in grade 4 fun fact

liane she's so CUTE

"what's a homeschooled kid?" kyle PLEASE

ate down y'all are fucked now

cartman: :D

KYLE FINAL 3 LET'S GO KIDDO

what the FUCK IS THIS WORD

"what's your name?" "what's in a name?" kyle's whipped for rebecca

KYLE OMG A KING

it's two nerds in love :')

he tried his best

NOT THE BUBBLE

Y'ALL EVERYONE BE LOOKING AT HAMSTER BALL MARK ODDLY BUT CRAIG IS FUCKING PISSED OFF LNDFNDLSNGL

craig: stupid hamster looking ass i'mma smash you like a lawbreaker typa beat

now they ALL MAD

the kids are unhinged but they my kids

kyle singing outside rebecca's window that's fucking cute as shit bro

rebecca: :|

kyle wanting to ask rebecca to the school dance PLEASE SAY STAN IS INVITING WENDY PLEASE

KYLE AND REBECCA ARE QUITE CUTE OKAY PLS

SHE JUST GRABS HIM

KYLE AND REBECCA ARE PLAYING DOCTOR AWE

KYLE U GONNA GET UR BRAIN CUT OUT BOY

KYLE HAD THAT RIZZ but rebecca is brain dead, it's OKAY MY BOY

shit this monkey killed my son

I'M CRYING KYLE AND REBECCA ARE SO CUTE

OH MY GOD THEY GONNA KISS FDBDFSJKBSDGBKGFSBKGDSS

STOP THEYYYYYYYY OH MY GOD FDSKJBGKJSDBBGKB this is so cute it's cavity inducing

kyle being the cutest to rebecca but stan FORGETTING WENDY ???? SO FUCKING WEIRD STAN stop beating on kyle for his little crush

YO WHAT THE FRESH HELL REBECCA ??? she's a child hooker ???? kyle is screaming into his pillow

not kyle getting the shit beat outta him

NOW Y'ALL WANNA BE TEAM MARK ??? VERY WEIRD

this ep was funny okay I'll admit

EPISODE 13:

omg STARVIN' MARVIN' IS BACK LET'S GOOOOOO <3

future viv note: my notes on this episode did not save but it was very good tbh, marklar.

also the star wars refs were funny too

kyle also slayed

EPISODE 14:

also rewatching bc notes did not save

OH RIGHT THE WAR REENACTMENT

style vs cartman

SMORE'S SCHNAPPS

adults drunk af

MESSENGER BUTTERS <3

"PROSPERITAH" "CONFEDERITAH" "AUTHORITAH"

"GIVE UP, FATASS THERE'S OVER 100 NATIONAL GUARD GUYS HERE"

"SUCK MY ASS" LMAO

STYLE SLAYED

[ainri]

" this is the end of us; sleeping with the moon and the stars."

-if you dated their fellow mafioso's react?

-bungo stray dogs

-port mafia: koyo, ryunosuke, gin, chuuya

-☁️

-headcanons

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

kōyo ozaki♡♥︎♡

-"stay here my love, i'll be right back ." she'd say lodging a kiss onto your temple wondering how it was possible to love someone as much as she loves you.

-" chuuya i know that you're there; please stop hiding ." youd say knowing kōyō would be back any moment.

-" fine, you caught me, but are you two dat- "

-the door creaks open that causes you both to turn heads ."

-" ane-san, are you and them dating ?!" he'd say actually flabbergasted

-" why of course chuuya-san ." the woman responded in a scarily calm tone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

chuuya nakahara ♡♥︎♡

-" Dear, a new wine tasting just opened on the other side of town would you like to go ?"

-after you agree to go with him; you walk out from his office to the girls bathroom because why not?

- you feel something cold against your neck as you look up from the sink that you were washing your face with.

-" hello dear gin! how may i help you? " the tone of your voice suddenly softening and becoming more playful.

-" hello miss ." she said dryly. even though you knew she just didn't know who entered the bathroom stalls due to her sensing a new perfume.

-" may i ask where you're heading miss ?" she hesitated to ask as you realized she was blushing.

-" of course! to a winery with chuuya-san, he asked me out last minute ." you'd say smiling

-her face would actually turn so red (i love gin sm ☹️☹️) " oh i'll be on my way then -" then leave.

-she'd say embarrassed realizing what she had just figured out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

gin akutagawa ♡♥︎♡

-you guys are out in the streets of yokohama since it'd been a long time since you two have had some nice quality time.

-she sprints there as fast as she can so she could spend more time with you (iloveyougin♥︎).

-" sweetheart someone's watching us. " you'd hear her whisper as she continues to pretend like there's nothing wrong.

you two are walking around arms linked, hands connected; then all of a sudden you feel someone staring at you guys and pull out your glock😘.

-ryunosuke tosses it to the floor with his ability to which you realized at that exact moment, that you just fucked up.

-" hey bro -"

-he cuts you off with a quick " hello executive ."

-gin never wanted her brother to know that she was dating his direct superior.

-he'd somehow tag along and end up giving really good fashion advice; at this point you were going out with him not gin anymore.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ryunosuke akutagawa ♡♥︎♡

-since there's no real rules in the mafia except no betrayal no one cares what you do; as long as you do your job.

-this man is textbook definition of overdoer.

-you two are out on a mission + kōyo

-now is she scared of akutagawa? who tf isnt? she only went because your name was on the bulletin board for loan sharking.

-the target threw a smoke screen bomb, runs at you with a knife to which kōyo covered before a crimson liquid dripped onto the floor; then onto your clothes.

-there was only one small problem, ryunosuke can't see you and has no idea if you're okay or not, or if the blood's even yours.

-" dear where are you ." you and kōyo would hear as he tries to whip through the smoke screen with his ability violently. you could hear his voice slowly and slowly becoming more worried.

-" dear? you two are going out? my-my-my akutagawa ." she'd giggle as he just gets mad

-once he finds you and realizes that the blood isn't yours he'll calm down. then eventually tell you you to be more careful

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

a/n(s):

GUYS I DID IT A WEEK OML

MY TIME MANAGEMENT SKILLS THIS WEEK ARE OFF THE ROOF

anyways 😇

i think im gonna do the ada next, the doa, then the guild now. or just put the doa and guild together because theres not that many members. but in two separate parts because there's so goddamn many of them. ☠️☠️

©2022 ainri; do not repost my work without credit or repost my work in a different language.

[moon-ursidae]

GAME SESSION 4 RECAP

i’ve had a very emotionally draining day even before playing this so we’ll see what awaits me beyond the start screen this time HAHA

as always, spoilers for both games and the hbo series below!! (this one is L O N G)

i want to play today but i’m also going through it so we’ll see how this plays out lmao

hours played: 8 or 9 hours?? somewhere around there idk when i started

KICKIN IT OFF:

so i’m kinda scared bc joel and ellie are in the same clothes that they’re in during the winter section which i’ve seen some clips of. which means hurt/sick joel soon? and uhhh DAVID. so yknow. kinda nervous about that.

excited to see nolan and troy in another project together tho. a dynamic duo in the gaming industry truly.

omg this section is called go big horns. CUTE

i don’t remember what i did last haha but i’m in a dorm hall? we’ll see what happens

OH i’m supposed to get a gate open. slay

i love when joel gets on the horse he says “scoot.” LIKE HE DID W SARAH ON THE COUCH🥲😭

god i wish fall would fucking GET HERE

sorry the jacket on joel looks so cozy

i’m so on edge rn it’s too quiet

uh ooohhhh muthafuckin spores

i knew it was too quiet i’m so scared bro

if there’s a bloater here i will exit the game LMAO

okay in this one room there’s a melee weapon, a bomb, and arrows. not liking the looks of this so far

do i really have to drop down tho?? do i??

FUCKIN HELL I DON’T LIKE THIS AT ALL

i’m gonna try to coax my dog to sit in here w me HAHAHA

okay well they’re both not having it

ANYWAY

I FUCKING HEAR A BLOATER UR JOKING

i threw a bottle down the hall and was SPAMMING square to open this door holy fuck

that was so close i was literally like “pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease” holy fuck dude

i feel like every infected known to man is gonna seep through the walls of this campus when i turn this generator on

i was wondering if joel went to college

him being more open w ellie🥺

“ok.” “too much?” “too much.” i’m gonna fucking cry again. i love seeing the more sensitive side of joel, because he clearly is quite sensitive. he doesn’t like bringing up sarah that often, he doesn’t want to talk about what happened with his wife. he’s clearly still affected by these things. he’s just had to shove those feelings down and become hardened by the apocalypse. he still cares under his grizzled and weathered surface.🥺

i also love the development of how ellie respects his boundaries and doesn’t push too much further into his past after the ranch house conversation. after he says it’s too much, she doesn’t say anything else. GOD the writing is so so good

OMG WAIT i forgot to mention the duct tape on joel’s boots like forever ago. i like that they added that detail in the show too :)

if anything happens to callus while i’m in here, i will simply cry

“c’mon kiddo, give me your hand” 🥺

dude bros i’m so scared for when joel is gonna get hurt bc i most definitely remember it being near brick buildings? and all of these buildings fall into that category? and joel is in the same clothes? i am uhh how you say…SCARED

max health let’s gooooooo

so whoever is here has definitely been watching us. they made a sound RIGHT upstairs and they cleared out that fast?? they’ve absolutely been watching us and i’m scared that they heard ellie say that we have the cure to mankind🫠

sure are a lot of bottles and bricks up here 👀

dog break bc they needed to get some energy out

BACK TO THE GAME

BRO THAT’S SO SCARY THAT PEOPLE CAN MOVE THIS FAST

so we’re not gonna investigate that??

just pushin’ on?? this is not looking good bros

yoooooo this xray looks DOPE

i really don’t wanna open this door

IT WAS MONKEYS THE TIME

THE MONKEYS ARE A FALSE ALARM I KNOW IT DEEP IN MY BONES WHY ELSE WOULD THERE BE 500 BRICKS AND BOTTLES

THEY INJECTED THE MONKEYS????

broooooo

uh oh cutscene i am scared

to utah!! right?

why did he stop? joel please not now

uh oh spaghetti-o’s!

do i have to go back the way i came???? that was SO FAR BRO

fuuuuck

OH NO JOEL PLZ NOT OVER THE RAILS PLEASE

ELLIE??? NO HELP??? WH-?????

oh fuck goddamnit the railing BROKE

IMPALED????????? WHAT????????

FUCKING IMPALED?????

I’M GONNA START CRYING NO

THE STRUGGLED BREATHS??

HIM REACHING OUT TO ELLIE??????

STILL PROTECTING HER AS HE’S LITERALLY IMPALED STOP

THE TEARING SOUNDS???

JOEL YELLING???

I’M GONNA CRY BRO

STOP I HATE THIS

ELLIE IS SO SCARED

UUUUGH DUDE

SAYING HE’S FINE?? TO NOT SCARE HER?? OR TO TRICK HIS OWN BRAIN?? PROBABLY BOTH?

i know he’s gonna be okay but i am still very much in distress

his hands are COVERED in blood :(

this hurts my soul

oh my god she’s covered in blood too :((

ELLIE’S BEING SUCH A HELP ASSURING HIM I-

he doesn’t wanna put his weight on her and slow them down further :(

“then fucking walk” LMAO

the trail of blood 🥲

HER HELPING HIM I CAN’T DO THIS

HEY FUCKER LET GO OF THE HORSE

omg ellie is badass bro

i mean i knew that already but goddamn she’s really steppin up

oh my god please don’t fall of the horse joel

…he fell off the fucking horse

HE LOOKS SO PALE :(

I’M GETTING FLASHBACKS TO HER SAYING GET UP TO HIM 😭

WINTER?? we must’ve been in mid-late november just now then

THE ICONIC RABBIT

SLAY ELLIE

this feels so fucking weird playing ellie

i bet anyone playing this without spoilers for the first time was panicking thinking joel was dead

oh it takes her a hot minute to climb

DETAILS

gotta take that into account tho i’m so used to big grumpy texas man

“what is this place?” GIRL DON’T GO

NOLAN NORTH IS IN THERE

talking to herself in reassurance :(

took a food break

OH MY GOD OKAY UHHHH WAS NOT EXPECTING DAVID THIS EARLY

YES ELLIE

ellie i don’t think they have antibiotics

i fucking love ellie dude

“i’ve had some practice” i love how even when it’s ellie’s there’s essences of joel here

like he literally taught her how to use the rifle🥲

bro am i playing COD zombies or??

i do not trust david at all. i know he’s helping me to build trust but he’ll totally fuck me over later

i only trust joel to boost me bro

BLOATER??

i just started nailing that motherfucker with molotovs and bombs. that seems to work well :)

DO NOT touch ellie bro

“we make a pretty good team” don’t get ahead of yourself here dAvId. i’ve known you for like 10 minutes

I REMEMBER SEEING MOCAP VIDEO OF THIS SCENE

crazy man traveling with a little girl? uh sir, i don’t know if you’ve noticed, but there is no man with ellie. and she covered up saying she has a group as well.

what man? ellie is alone. LEAVE HER ALONE DAVID.

“you’re just a kid.” with YOUR RIFLE pointed at YOUR FACE bro shut the hell up

oh well… now that’s not fair james can fuck off

are we sure this is medicine??? this could be fucking poison dawg

“i can protect you” nah i’m good there’s a grumpy texas man waiting for me

bro they’re gonna follow ellie and she’s gonna lead them right to joel and shit’s gonna go down i feel it in my bones

JOELLLLLLL

he’s looking worse for wear

my heart w this music UGH

STOP. HIM SHIVERING AND HER CHECKING HIS TEMP ON HIS HEAD

AND THEN LAYING NEXT TO HIM

AND HE’S LOOKING OVER AT HER

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

THEY’VE COME SO FARRRRRRR

what THE FUCK did i say

GODDAMNIT

YEA THEY TRACKED YOU

KINDA EASY TO DO THAT IN THE SNOW

ELLIE I’M NOT MAD AT YOU I’M JUST STRESSED

HER KEEPING HIM UPDATED EVEN THOUGH HE MIGHT BE SO OUT OF IT I CANNOT

THE WAY HE STIRRED WHEN SHE SAID SHE WAS GONNA DRAW THEM AWAY HE WANTS TO GET UP AND FIGHT FOR HERRRRRRRR AAAHHHHHHH

NOOO CALLUS NO BRO NOOOOOOO

I’M HAVING RDR2 FLASHBACKS

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

WHY DO I STILL GET ATTACHED WHEN I KNOW WHAT’S GONNA HAPPEN EVERY. FUCKING. TIME

okay stealth with ellie is kinda fun

the bow is the way to go apparently lmao

i’m so pissed i missed possible loot bc i decided to go the way that looked like it had loot. FUCK

SECRET TUNNELLLLLLL! SECRET TUNNEL! THROUGH THE MOUNTAIN! haha

she’s so worried about joel🥺

me too tho i get it

the way that i’m naming every voice actor of these npc’s the whole time i’ve been playing this game💀

i’m like “oh my god yuri! laur! travis! nolan!” i do this with every game tho LMAO

the fucking music in the background is hauntingly beautiful

this lodge goes hard dude i wanna live here

ELLIE

FUUUUCK DAVID DUDE

EEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWW

THE SOUND EFFECTS OF THE CUTTING BLEH

“it’s deer” BULLSHIT GUY I JUST SAW A MOTHERFUCKER CHOPPING UP A WHOLE P E R S O N

“you’re a fucking animal” *continues to eat like an animal*

this is something that i do think about when it comes to apocalypse situations like how fast would some people resort to… other forms of sustenance…

dude nolan killed it being creepy as fuck haha

how long until he snaps dude i’m scared. he’s too calm

“and you’re special” NOOOOOOOOOOooooooooOOOOOOOPE

YA’LL HAVE FUN

I’M NOT GONNA DO THAT HAHA

why tf is she letting him touch her hand bro i would’ve broken his goddamn fingers by now

wait she has to be acting so they’ll let her go nvm she’s clever lmao

OH MY GOD I SWEAR I DIDN’T KNOW SHE FUCKING BREAKS HIS FINGER

HOLY SHIT YEEES

“tell them that ellie is the little girl that broke your fucking finger.” OH MY GOD?? F E R A L

“how did you put it? hmm? tiny pieces?” IT’S THE LINE!! AH

also G R O S S

JOOOEEEELLLLLL

joel ur gonna rip those fuckin stitches man

woooaaah the controller light went from green to yellow? OHHHHH IT’S BASED ON MY HEALTH

why did that take me so long to notice? LMAOOOOO

the way that i’m walking slow as if that’ll put him through less pain💀

i take back what i said before about being able to hear him breathe bc this is so fucking sad hearing him grunting and struggling and shivering

i audibly shushed joel when he yelled for ellie like it was gonna do anything HAHA

having an injury in the cold fucking suuuuucks dude ur so sensitive to the weather

JESUS TAPDANCING CHRIST. even when joel is in extreme pain he’s taking not one, but TWO hostages. and they’re not overpowering him. jesus

HOLY FUCK JOEL. HE IS IN SO MUCH PAIN. AND JUST WAILIN ON THESE GUYS

jesus fucking christ

“focus right here.”

i- this is doing something to me🫢

ANYWAYYYY

PUTTING THE KNIFE IN HIS MOUTH AND MAKING HIM MARK THE MAP IN HIS OWN BLOOD IS C O L D AS HELL

“and it better be the same spot your buddy points to” OH MY GOD JOEL

“that’s alright. i believe him.”

i’m sittin here like 😳🫢😮

bro do not FUCK with joel miller goddamn

ellie you better wake the fuck up the terminator is coming to pick you up

oh shit oh fuck oh shit

YEA FUCK YOU DAVID LOOK AT HER ARM FUCKER

SLAAYYYYY ELLIE

oh this is a blizzard alright

sorry my midwesterner came out there for a sec

dude nolan is scary in this role he’s doin great

i’m waiting to hear joel absolutely fucking shit up in the distance

hearing ellie shiver :(

DUDE BURNING BUILDING BOSS FIGHT? slay

DAVID IS SO SCARY

JOOOOOEEEELLLLLL

i’m the one that will be fucking shit up? EXCELLENT👹

THERE’S LIKE 12 GUYS FOR ME TO HANDLE?? I HAD LIKE 5 or 6 FOR ELLIE TOTAL GODDAMN

ellie’s bag!!

when he walks into the butcher and sees what’s hanging then is like “i gotta find her. i gotta find her” in a slightly panicked tone? NO ONE TALK TO ME

oh shit indeed joel

ELLIE WAKE UUUUP I DON’T LIKE THIS ELLIE WAKE UUUUUUPPPP

i’m waiting for joel to come in and fuck shit up part 2 electric boogaloo

david is pathetic bro fighting a 14 yr old. watching her crawl for a weapon desperately, only to laugh and kick her when she gets close

holy fuck dude. no one talk to me. no one perceive me rn.

the first time he’s called her babygirl😭

oh my god. i’m fucking C R Y I N G rn

super traumatic things happen right before the seasons change i should know this by now

we’re in spring now oh boy

AHH THE OUTFITS!!! THE ONES THAT PEDRO AND BELLA WERE WEARING ON SET!!! AHHH

“let’s go kiddo” i- i need a minute after what just went down dude

i feel like i should stop now but i know i’m close to the ending

we’ve made it to utah!

“i’m gonna teach you how to play guitar” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

ellie’s spacing out bc she’s scared :(

this is so crazy bc this literally looks like pedro and bella from behind

i love the fits that are goin on these might be my favorite so far

the rv :(

i’m literally crying just thinking about how full circle it is that joel lost his daughter, but has now gained a daughter. he tried so hard to fight it off. he even told her straight to her face that he’s not her father. now jump to him calling her babygirl and kiddo, and how they’re just chatting away about ellie’s dreams. how joel’s voice sounds warmer and softer, and so does ellie’s. i can’t fuckin do this bro

also not only the evolution from the beginning where he was like ugh a child🙄, but just from wyoming to now is so fucking wholesome. “i sure as hell ain’t your dad.” to now??? FUCK dude. i’m emotional

i’m not jazzed about being back in a city

if he calls her kiddo or babygirl one more time it will be my undoing

WAIT GIRAFFE SOON??? I FUCKIN HOPE SO

joel checking on her and not wanting to push her so he’s just like “it’s fine” so she doesn’t feel like she needs to be as talkative as she usually is🥲

my heart… HURTS bro

BZKSBSKDVSKSVDLWVDOEGSKSV THIS HURTS BRO HE WAS READY TO BOOST HER AND HE JUST SAW THAT SHE WAS STILL THERE AND SPACED OUT AGAIN AND I-😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

I AM A GLASS CASE OF EMOTION RIGHT NOW

STOP HE GOT SO SCARED

GIRAFFE TIME???

“what in the sam hell?” ASDFGHKLBDKS

GIRAFFE TIME!!!!!🥳🥳🥳🕺🏻🕺🏻🕺🏻

THERE’S TWO???

THE MUSIC? STOP IT

THERE’S THREE?!!

“don’t scare it” “i won’t, i won’t” IN THE SOFTEST VOICE I- MMMMMMMMM

WHY AM I CRYING ABOUT 2 PEOPLE PETTING A GIRAFFE

WAIT I KNOW THIS SONG

VANISHING GRACE!

ellie instantly perked up. it’s like a father and daughter at the zoo🥹 she’s like “hurry up! come on!” I CANNOT TAKE THIS

EIGHT GIRAFFES???

is a heart to heart about to happen bc i can’t take it rn i’m a mess

“is it everything you were hopin’ for?” “it’s got it’s ups and downs. can’t deny the view though”😭

i hope the game knows that i will literally fucking stand here for eternity. and this is what joel and ellie are gonna do for the rest of their lives. giraffe watch. no more trauma. just giraffes bein dudes.

and this is all before the ending??? CURSE YOU NAUGHTY DOG

i don’t want to progress bc they’re both so content and peaceful rn. UGH i’m sorry ya’ll we have to continue. JOEL. ELLIE. I’M SORRY

oh god i wasn’t expecting a cutscene am i about to get my heart broken? again?

“we don’t have to do this” ONE LINE IN AND I’M ALREADY UUUGH

they don’t want to let go of each other… bc they need each other at this point.

“it can’t be for nothing” THERE IT IS

uh ooohhhhh joel’s feeling differently mefinks

i want to hug both of them so fucking tight dudebros. so fucking tight.

i think i am gonna stop here bc i am tired and in pain from this fucking chair haha

yea this one was super ultra mega long. i’m sorry. i just got a lot to say and analyze sometimes yknow?? lots of story this time! maybe that’s why it’s longer haha

i just know that i am literally never going to be the same after playing this game. i’m so fucking happy that i finally did.

we finish(?) tomorrow! and i’ll probably do a seperate post from the next recap about what i thought of the game as a whole, and oh boy is that gonna be long too haha

but yea i’m so fucking excited but also scared to finish this!! until tomorrow!!🤎

[gabxbyr]

See You Again (English version) Newt x Reader

(English is not my native language so excuse me if there is any mistake)

Finally they had made it. The Right Arm, the end of the Scorch, the end of hell, the end of WICKED. They didn't believe in it anymore and yet here they were, all sitting on the rocks high above the ground, contemplating the people who were gradually packing up the camp in order to leave tomorrow at dawn.

Y/N had delicately placed her head on Newt's shoulder in order to make the most of their newly acquired freedom. She could finally allow herself this simple gesture without having the impression that it was not the moment. Indeed the blond had confessed his love for her just before they fought the grievers to get out of the Maze but with the battle, Chuck's death -at this thought the girl's heart tightened- and the crossing of the Scorch they had never had the opportunity to live their relationship fully. And here, with her cheek on his warm skin and her nostrils impregnated with his masculine scent, she felt like she belonged. On top of that she was with her friends and that's all that mattered. Rather with a part of her friends sadistically reminded her brain as if to tarnish her sudden joy... It is true that many of her companions had died so that they could get there and she could not forget it. First there was Ben, a close friend of Minho and her, as they were all runners; then it was Alby's turn, their leader and their guide, to disappear. Then Chuck's sacrifice, which she still had a hard time getting over -maybe not as hard as Thomas, but still- and at the same time Gally's death, which saddened her, and then the last death, Winston's. Y/N still remembered his death and the way he had been treated. Y/N still remembered his screams when those damn cranks had lacerated his belly and that tragic gunshot that meant the death of their friend. At the thought she couldn't suppress a shiver.

-Y/N, Newt's voice suddenly rang out, waking her from her lethargy. Are you all right ?

He was surely aware of her silence and her shivers.

-Yes do not worry, she answered by playing gently with the fingers of the blond whom she fixed with a nostalgic face. I just thought of all the sacrifices which we had to endure to arrive here and of all the close ones that we lost.

Newt looked at the girl pressed up against him with a mixture of love, compassion and sadness in his brown orbs. He understood exactly what she was getting at, after all Alby was one of his best friends and he would never know they were out of the Maze. Yet he also knew that if he could do it again he wouldn't change a thing if it meant he could be here with her. It was with this thought that he gently lifted her face with his fingers under her chin to plunge his eyes into her Y/E/C ones.

-I know how you feel, we all feel it here. But you know as well as I do that we wouldn't be here without them, and maybe what I'm about to say will sound completely selfish, but I'm glad we're both here.

As an answer she gave him one of her sincere and radiant smiles that illuminated her beautiful face damaged by the dust and the sun. The blond wanted to bend down to kiss her sweet lips but Minho didn't count on it and took the girl by the armpits and made her turn in the air.

-Did I hear Princess depressed ?

-Minho ! Y/N shouted, ripped from the sweet embrace of the former second in command. Put me down right now or I swear I'll throw up on you !

-Better you throw up on me than on your loser boyfriend's mouth, said the asian boy proud of him. Don't you think ?

-Her loser boyfriend fucks you.

Newt had wanted to take a stern voice but he failed miserably far too happy to see his girlfriend and his best friend playing like children and laughing so lightly. It reminded him of the happy times he had spent on the Glade away from the horror of the outside world. Frypan must have been thinking the same thing because while the two of them were still running around behind each other the former Galder's cook approached the blond.

-I miss the Glade.

-Me too, Newt admitted. But now that it's all over I'm happy.

-Yes, it's all over, Fry murmured with a smile.

As the two troublemakers returned to sit with them breathless from their childishness Thomas arrived to join them, Chuck's statuette clutched in his fingers. There was a sudden silence as nostalgic thoughts undoubtedly resurfaced.

-If only Chuck could have seen this.

It was the brown man's voice, full of immeasurable sadness. Slowly Y/N put his hand on his shoulder in compassion as Newt cleared his throat.

-He would be so proud of you, Tommy.

The nickname made Thomas smile softly as he murmured a "yeah" in response. He missed little Chuck terribly, but was grateful to have Newt, Minho, Y/N, Frypan and Teresa by his side. He wondered where Teresa could be. He felt the need to see her and to hold her in his arms as the blond did with his friend. He was going to ask where she was but he was cut by Frypan who greeted Aris by shouting.

-l kinda like that kid.

Minho gave a septic look to Fry showing his disagreement with him.

-Yeah. I still don't trust him, though.

His remark made the blockards laugh, recognizing the typical suspicious behavior of the Asian.

-Minho in all his splendor, ladies and gentlemen.

The former keeper of the runners looked at the only girl of the group by raising his eyebrows then he smirked which never announces anything good.

-You, he began, pointing at her. Believe me I smell you ! You smell like klunk !

Suddenly a mini scream was heard coming out of his mouth as Y/N had just hit him in the shoulder.

-I call mistreatment of Asians racism, Frypan said.

-Thank you bro, Minho thanked him, pretending to cry. We understand each other !

After a new laugh from the blockards, Thomas remembered the question he wanted to ask before they debated Aris. He then turned his jet-black eyes towards his comrades.

-Hey, where's Teresa ?

Y/N frowned a little at the name. From the moment this girl arrived, she had found her strange and her doubts had been reinforced during their crossing of the Scorched Earth, but except for Minho and Newt, whenever she talked about it with someone, they told her that her suspicions were simply based on a feeling of jealousy because she was no longer the only girl in the group. Nonsense! The proof was that she got along very well with Brenda. But the girl with Y/H/C hair preferred to keep quiet and ignore the question unlike her boyfriend.

-Yeah, the blonde answered, pointing to a sharp rock in the distance behind them. She went up there.

The brunet thanked him with a nod before leaving hurriedly to meet her. They were all aware of Thomas' feelings towards his blue-eyed goddess and although the others didn't care -except maybe Minho who didn't hold Teresa in his heart- Y/N had a bad feeling.

This was confirmed when shortly afterwards bergs belonging to the WICKED began to arrive in the distance. The girl's heart began to pound ferociously as adrenaline and fear mingled within her. They had only just regained their fucking freedom!

The gladers only reacted when the first bombs hit the camp floor.

-Let's get moving, Minho yelled at them as he got up and headed downhill right into the action.

Y/N followed him after a last loving and fearful glance at Newt. Screams, blood and fire surrounded them now as they made their way to Harriet and Vince in search of weapons to fight with. Vince handed the gladers guns.

-Can you use these ?

They nodded and prepared to fire.

-Cover me, shouted the leader of the Right Arm.

So it was with fear but adrenaline that they stood around the van containing the machine gun and began firing at the WICKED soldiers. The rage of life they felt left little room for guilt, even though they would have deaths on their conscience.

-There are too many of them, Minho despaired.

They were running out of munitions and the asian's realization gave them an extra wave of fear... This was the end, WICKED was winning. As Y/N searched her pockets for ammunition she heard Vince's deep voice ringing in her ears just before she felt a wave of electricity run through every inch of her body and then she fell into unconsciousness.

When they woke up, the gladers were in a line, among the other WICKED subjects, kneeling and weakened. Y/N stood between Minho and Newt and looked at Rat Man with all the rage she felt. She had to look away, however, when a soldier came up behind her, scanned her neck and announced.

-A3.

This is what she was reduced to. A fucking number, like an animal. They were dehumanizing them as if they were nothing more than livestock. WICKED was intentionally forgetting that they were just teenagers. This realization made her clench her fists and teeth. Her impulsiveness was getting the better of her.

-Where's Thomas, she heard Rat Man ask.

And before she could stop herself, her rebellious and impulsive side surfaced.

-Up your ass, you rat-faced bastard !

A silence was created on the battlefield. Newt looked at her reproachfully as Janson turned red with anger. He approached the girl and before the gladers could react Rat Man took her by the arm and threw her into the middle of them all. And as she tried to get up from the ground, she was kicked in the abdomen, making her regret her stupid behavior.

-You want to play it smart ? Well you're going to regret it kid, he then turned to one of his colleagues. Did you say that we had almost all of them ?

Y/N saw the guard nod as she began to get really scared.

-Good, Janson seemed to be pleased as he loaded his gun and pointed it at her. I guess no one will mind if I kill one of them then ?

The salt-and-pepper haired man was preparing to shoot under the incessant shouting of the gladers and the threats of Newt when Thomas appeared.

-I'm here.

Janson then diverted his attention from the young girl who went to snuggle in the arms of her boyfriend. The latter held her against him as if his life depended on it.

-Everything's fine, he whispered in her ear, trying to reassure himself. I am there.

During this time the brown one also took a blow of the part of the Rat Man then was placed at the sides of Minho who looked at him dazed.

-Why didn't you run ?

-I'm tired of running.

His statement seemed to cast a sort of veil of hope over the blockards and Y/N lifted herself a little from the blond to give Thomas a discreet smile. He was right, they should stop running. However, her smile quickly faded when another berg appeared and landed a few meters away from their position, bringing a sense of fear back to the group.

Ava Paige. The woman with platinum blonde hair who was supposedly dead and was the head of the WICKED. Their worst enemy was standing in front of them, staring at them like the test subjects they were in her eyes. She ordered Janson to start the boarding and that's how the different teenagers were dragged towards the berg. So far, none of the gladers had been taken. However, Ava stopped in front of them and made Thomas stand up.

-Good evening, Thomas.

Was she making fun of him? She put him in a damn Maze, sent him to a city full of cranks and hunted him down to say a simple good evening ? The only thing the brunette could think at that moment was "go to hell" but he preferred to keep quiet and look at her, a defiant glare stuck to his face. However all trace of insolence flew away when Teresa appeared at the side of this woman.

-I don't believe it, said Minho, standing up.

-Teresa, Frypan murmured in astonishment.

-But what's going on here ? asked Newt lost.

-She's with the enemy, Thomas suddenly said in a voice devoid of emotion.

Y/N couldn't stop a nervous laugh from coming out of her lips as a huge hatred took place in her heart.

-I knew it, she whispered, realizing she was right all along. You are a fucking traitor !

The blond realizing that his girlfriend was once again going to put herself in a sensitive situation placed his arm in front of her as if to protect her and prevent anyone from hurting her. He would not allow it.

That was the moment Janson chose to intervene.

-Teresa's always had an evolved appreciation of the greater good. Once we restored her memories, it was only a matter of time.

-I'm sorry, she began as the gladers looked at her accusingly. I had no choice. This is the only way. We have to find a cure.

Thomas lowered his head feeling his heart tear as the girl he was in love with drove the stake of betrayal deeper into his heart. He wanted so badly for this to be just a nightmare yet he knew it was real.

-And a cure for your bullshit ? Minho interjected with his usual sarcasm. Didn't you find it ?

-Drop it, Minho, added Y/N. All it would take is a little loyalty and humanity.

The dark-haired girl looked down but ignored them royally as Ava confirmed her words. The latter was trying to convince them that she was not a monster and that she just needed more time. But Marie, the camp doctor, spoke up.

-And more blood !

-Hello, Marie, said the blonde woman as the female doctor approached. I hoped we'd meet again. I'm sorry it had to be under these circumstances.

-I'm sorry about a lot of things too, Marie cut her off. But not this. At least my conscience is clear.

Unlike Teresa, Y/N thought furtively before concentrating on Ava's answer.

-So is mine.

A shot rang out, cutting short the exchange between the two women. And the said Mary collapsed on the ground under the desperate cries of Vince and the murderous glance of Janson. While looking at this scene with teary eyes, Thomas understood what he had to do. At this thought his breathing became more panting and the tension in his muscles more oppressive. He waited for the WICKED to begin boarding them before pulling out a bomb and threatening to detonate it.

-Everyone stand back, Janson ordered his soldiers, his stress mounting. Hold your fire !

-Let them all go, Thomas shouted as Rat Man tried to talk him down.

Janson, Ava, and even Teresa all began to talk to him to make him listen to reason, not realizing that they were only reassuring him of his decision. Moreover, the gladers, at first overwhelmed by the events, began to understand why their friend was doing this and it was resigned that Minho came to Thomas' side and nodded to show his support. He was followed closely by Frypan, Newt and Y/N who hold hands with the blond man.

-We're with you, Thomas, said the latter, taking his girlfriend in his arms for a last embrace.

-Do it Thomas, added the asian to cover the protests of Teresa and Ava.

-We are ready, made Fry by holding the shoulder of the brown.

-It's the end, finished Y/N by pressing a little more strongly the blond in her arms.

After a last glance towards his friends Thomas turned to Teresa.

-We're not going back there, he declared while shaking before preparing to release the bomb. It's the only way.

Suddenly, as Ava Paige's scream resonated as if to prevent the explosion, a horn went off, stopping Thomas in his tracks. It was Jorge who drove like a madman into one of the WICKED helicopters, leaving the members of the Right Arm the opportunity to disperse and defend themselves.

-Are you all right ? asked Newt, concerned about the well-being of his beloved.

For all answer Y/N nodded her head before joining the others and suddenly getting down on the ground while Thomas had just thrown the bomb on the members of the inter-governmental organization. As they got up, they went in search of weapons to fight with. Brenda was defending them from the top of the cliffs like a sniper. She had managed to hit Janson in the shoulder, which made Y/N smile and find a gun. Hope made her heart beat again and gave her enough adrenaline to fight.

As for Vince, he went back to his machine gun, shooting at the WICKED soldiers and at the same time quenching his thirst for revenge for Marie's death. It was total chaos. The gladers were running for cover, covered by Minho and Y/N who were the only two of the group to have acquired weapons. They found some debris to hide behind about hundred meters away.

-Keep going, the asian shouted. We got you !

-Be careful ! Newt asked worriedly as they ran to their hiding place.

-Don't worry about us, the girl tried to reassure him.

Thomas suddenly arrived running, he passed behind his two friends to join the others. It was the last one they could retreat. Y/N then began to run towards her friends when she realized that the asian did not follow her.

-Minho, what are you doing ? she shouted to him already six meters away from him.

-Go ahead, go ahead, he replied, shooting at a soldier. I'll catch up with you !

She continued her race trusting her best friend when she saw him taking an electrifying ball of the WICKED and falling on the ground shaking of spasms. She shouted his name and asked him to get up and join her. She heard her friends in the distance doing the same but the former keeper of the runners was close to sink in the unconsciousness. She then turned her gaze to her friends in the distance and then to Mihno who was beginning to be carried away. One last time she looked into Newt's chocolate eyes and mouthed a final "I love you" as he understood her intention and shouted at her to stop. It was too late, she had made her decision, we don't abandon our friends. She then faced the asian and started to run towards him as fast as she could. She could feel her heart racing as she shot at the two guards holding her friend. Once she reached him she let out a sigh of relief and with great effort and a few more drops of sweat she managed to lift Minho off the ground. She then looked up at her friends' hiding place and began to sprint. However, as she saw the hopeful looks on her friends' and Newt's faces, she felt an excruciating sting in her back and electricity paralyzing her. She then fell on the sand and dust while letting out a cry of agony which was replaced very quickly by the cry of despair of her favorite blond boy.

The latter seeing the girl he loved being taken away by the WICKED wanted to intervene but his friends understanding that it was over held him back with tears in their eyes and their hearts in pieces. And it was under their desperate looks that the berg enclosing their friends started to fly away while Janson threw them a last triumphant smile while holding firmly the unconscious body of Y/N in his arms.

-Bastards, Newt shouted, on the verge of a nervous breakdown. You bastards ! Bring them back ! Come back ! Give her back to me !

Thomas went over to him to put his hand on his shoulder, but as surprising as it may seem, the blond threw himself into his arms and cried against his shoulder. Usually the second in command kept everything to himself and did not share his sorrows. He never expressed his sadness, but this was too much for him to bear. When Y/N had arrived in the block just after his suicide attempt, she had been a breath of fresh air for him. She had been his little dose of hope and he needed her. He couldn't lose her.

-Tommy, he said in a firm voice, looking into Thomas' wet eyes. Promise me we'll get them back.

-I promise, Newt.

Masterlist

[sinemoras09]

1.

The remains of the Citadel lie crooked against a starscape of blues and blacks, the long arms connecting individual spheres of cities jutting out like jagged bones. On the inside, Construction Ricks rappel down the city towers, small and ant-like compared to the gleaming city structures below them.

Militia Ricks step out, ferrying the dead. A dusty truck crunches over debris and broken glass, while bodies are rolled up in thick stripes of canvas and tossed into the back.

In a subterranean basement, Caretaker Ricks rush around the large glass columns of yellow liquid while thousands of clone bodies are decanted, sputtering and slimy, a thousand reborn Ricks coughing and crouching on the ground.

*****

The artificial light is stuck in perpetual dawn or dusk, the entirety of the skyline barely visible in the dying half-light. In the middle of the rubble, Slow Rick is crying, a lone figure crouching among a throng of dead Mortys, his yellow shirt scuffed and his temple caked with old dried blood.

"Can, can, can anybody help me?" Slow Rick says. He hugs his arms and limps, accidentally kicking a dead Morty in the shoulder. He starts crying harder. "I-i-is anybody there?"

Cop Rick is digging in the rubble when he sees him and comes running over.

"Are you, are you my new Rick?" Slow Rick says. Cop Rick kneels down in front of him.

"Y-yeah. Yeah buddy, I am for now," Cop Rick says. He reaches back into his holster and grabs a tablet, quickly scrolling through the Citadel database. Slow Rick, it says, also known as Tall Morty, from dimension K-32-ipsilon-9. He suffers from Savant Syndrome and excels in electronics and rapid calculations. He invented a portal gun, accidentally portaling himself into Federation Space, where he became frightened and started calling out for his caretakers.

"Your name is Slow Rick, Rick?" Cop Rick says. Slow Rick shakes his head.

"My name is Tall Morty," Slow Rick says. Cop Rick touches his shoulder.

"All right, Tall Morty. Let's get you some help, buddy."

"Thank you, Mr. Rick," Slow Rick says. Cop Rick nods.

"Hey now, just call me Rick," Cop Rick says, and he helps him up from the ground.

*****

2.

They found him living in an adult care facility in a dimension 70 iterations off the Central Finite Curve. It wasn't surprising: ever since the Council of Ricks implemented routine brain scans across the multiverse, they found non-scientist Ricks in all sorts of places. There were Ricks who became school teachers and Ricks who were truck drivers, working stiff Ricks with the same potential and IQs.

The portal opened, and they expected that this Rick was a caregiver, maybe a physician or a nurse working in the facility. They weren't expecting to see him as a resident, wearing a bright orange shirt and eating a popsicle.

*****

"I didn't know Ricardo had a twin brother," was the first thing the receptionist said, as one of the Citadel Ricks conducting surveillance filled out his paperwork. The Rick opened his mouth, about to answer, when his other Rick partner stepped up behind him.

"Yo, I just did a preliminary scan, the Gromflomites have this place under surveillance." The second Rick walked toward the first Rick, where the receptionist choked on her coffee and did a double take. "Oh. Shit."

"Yeah. We're, uh. Triplets." The first Rick handed her the clipboard. "Uh. Monozygotic," he said, and he thumbed between the two of them. "And with little Ricky, uh, dizygotic."

"Oh. I see." The receptionist smiled kindly.

"Hey. I don't know you," Slow Rick said, as the two Ricks flanked beside him. The caregiver tsked at him.

"Ricardo. These are your brothers, Rick and Rico," the caregiver said.

"That's okay, ma'am. We don't blame him - we never really visited." The Ricks glanced at each other, uneasily. "Hey buddy. You playing with blocks, man?"

"Yeah!" Slow Rick said, and he beamed up at them happily. Warily the Ricks sat down at the table, watching him.

"Why the hell are the Glomflomites keeping him under surveillance? All he does is play with blocks and fingerpaints." The second Rick frowned, looking around.

"Hey, check it out," the second Rick said. Slow Rick started writing a bunch of numbers on a notepad. "Watcha doin' there, buddy?"

"I'm making a formula!"

"Oh, wow, buddy, real cool there, let's see--" he picked up the paper. His eyes widened.

"Bro," the second Rick said, and he handed it to the first.

"Did he...did he just come up with a grand Unified Theory of Everything? On the back of a fingerpainting?" Technically, all standard Ricks solved the riddle of marrying quantum physics to the theory of relativity decades ago, but given Slow Rick had the mentality of a 6-year-old, they were impressed.

"Ma'am? Is it okay if we take him out for day-long excursions?" The Ricks had radioed their findings to the Council, who ordered them to bring Slow Rick in.

"Of course!" the caregiver said, and she handed them the paperwork.

*****

Slow Rick - or Tall Morty, as he was now called - loved the Citadel. The Rick caretakers gave him candy. Everybody was really nice to him.

"What's this?" Slow Rick said. The Ricks set down a small glass of portal fluid, which glowed a hazy iridescent green.

"I-it makes things go other places. See?" One of the Ricks loaded it into a portal gun, shot two portals, and tossed a ball through. It sank into one membrane, then bounced off the second, making Slow Rick laugh hysterically.

"You think you can make that, buddy?" The Ricks provided all the materials. They would sit down and watch him to make sure he didn't do anything too dangerous. Slow Rick grinned and nodded.

"Yeah! I can do that!" Slow Rick said, and he started grabbing materials.

Like the other Ricks, this Rick had a genius's intuition. This Rick threw together the ingredients of portal fluid without measuring it. The two Ricks watched as he loaded his finished fluid into the portal gun, then shot two portals. They tossed in a ball, which easily slipped through it.

"Good job, buddy! Y-y-you think you can solve this equation?"

"Sure!" Slow Rick chirped, and he started writing down the math, chewing on a piece of licorice and kicking his feet under the table.

*****

3.

A circle of Militia Ricks surround a fallen Gromflomite, who's lying on his back and shaking. Wordlessly they all unholster their ray guns and shoot, the purple rays searing the Gromflomite's carapace and liquifying its insides.

"Geez," a Militia Rick says. Another Gromflomite charges at him but the Militia Ricks pull out their ray guns, easily neutralizing him. "How many fucking more of these Federation goons are left?"

"Hard to say, D-23. That's why we're patrolling each sector searchin' for them."

"Ugh, I wanna go home," the Militia Rick says. Another Gromflomite pops up to the side of him, but he points his arm and shoots him dead without even looking at him. "This sucks." Another Rick nods.

"Yeah, I know."

More digging. They throw pieces of rubble into a pile, hoisting up the dead bodies crushed beneath the debris. The Ricks are sweating, wiping their foreheads with their sleeves, when behind them there's a flurry of action.

"We got more survivors!" a Militia Rick says.

There's a group of Mortys huddled beneath the remains of what used to be a pharmacy. Around them, overturned shelves and broken bottles are scattered by their feet. The Mortys are miraculously intact, holding each other and crouching beneath a cardboard Rick sign advertising Energy Juice.

"W-w-w-what's going on?" a Morty says. The Militia Ricks flash their flashlights on him, the beam cutting a white line through the shadowed ruins. "Why were they attacking us? What's happening?"

"I don't know." The Militia Rick digs him out of the rubble. "What's your designation?"

"I-I-I don't remember. But they called me Glasses Morty." Glasses Morty isn't wearing his glasses. The Militia Rick grunts and hefts him and his friends out of the pile.

*****

In a remote outpost on the farthest corner of the Citadel, Cop Rick walks with Slow Rick following an abandoned street. The asphalt is cracked and jutting out at odd angles, the buildings surrounding it bombed out and crumbling. Cop Rick walks and he hears a few errant bricks falling off. He pulls out his scanner and searches for other biosignatures. No one else is alive.

"M-M-Mr. Cop Rick?"

"Yeah, Tall Morty?"

"W-w-when can I go home?" Slow Rick hugs his arms. "I'm scared and I'm cold."

"It's okay, Tall Morty. I-I got separated from my unit, but whatever was attacking us seems to have gone home." Cop Rick looks around. "Sorry, buddy. To tell you the truth, I-I-I'm just a rookie, I haven't even graduated from the Academy. Sorry you got saddled with a useless Rick like me."

"Y-y-you didn't gradutate yet?"

Cop Rick smiles. "It's graduate," he says, gently. "And no, I-I'm still part of the Academy."

They keep walking. A column of smoke rises from another ruined building, and Cop Rick hears someone yelling.

"Help me!" It's a Morty. "Help, can somebody help?"

"I'm coming!" Cop Rick says, and he breaks out into a run.

He can see a flash of yellow peaking out from a pile of debris. Cop Rick skids onto his knees, then starts digging through the rubble.

But it's too late. The Morty is guppy breathing, skin clammy, the blood that was tamponaded by the rubble suddenly rushing out. His lung is punctured and his pelvis is shattered. The Morty gasps, then chokes for air.

"Are you, are you a cop?" The Morty's eyes drag listlessly up toward Cop Rick's. "Are you gonna rescue me?"

There's no way the Morty will live another day, let alone the next ten minutes. Cop Rick grasps his hand.

"Yeah, buddy," Cop Rick says. "Reinforcements are coming, just hang on."

The Morty smiles. It's a sickly smile, wan and pale, until his pupils dilate and he stops breathing.

"Shit," Cop Rick says. He wipes his eyes angrily.

In the background, Slow Rick whimpers. Cop Rick straightens, dusting the front of his uniform.

"C'mon," Cop Rick says. "It's getting dark.”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24816478