#she thinks i don't love her.
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my mother wants me to read the end of gender with an "open mind". i am going to be completely honest. i fucking hate it.
#random thoughts#what does soh mean there is no such thing as a transgender child. fuck's sake#and the thing is. i feel my mother wants me to propose an argument to this.#i have very limited trans resources apart from her shitty terfy books.#she wants me to see a therapist to get to the root of why i behave like this.#she thinks i don't love her.#I DO LOVE HER. is the thing.#but i don't love the fact that she is trying to change me as a person.#when i'm still trans in the future and she's got a problem with that??????? she can go fuck herself#(sorry.)
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i'll let phie-san say it:
#the vids i've seen on tiktok picking at her immediately get a block...#bitter otaku sitting in their socks in their mom's basement feeling threatened/enraged by a hot successful black woman outnerding them-core#also this kind of criticism is so demoralising and damaging to people who are trying to learn another language#also. accents are NORMAL and not a bad thing#i don't think that the end goal of picking up a new language necessarily has to be sounding native#and i know sometimes the way japanese people react like SUGOIII? *W* when a foreigner says like one (1) word in japanese is joked about#but like... genuinely... i always love when someone clearly has made an effort and took the time to learn some of the language#anyway she can step on those haters <3#also like. it’s just some lines in a song people need to relax…#megan thee stallion#autoplay warning#japan#japanese#language#mamushi
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things haven't been great but i think they will be. eventually 🌻🌼🩷
#personal#comics#tw abuse#digital art#personal comic#for the record no i don't think my mother loves me#but the idea that she did kept me in an awful situation for a very long time#the number of times people said “she's your mother. she's trying her best. of course she loves you” etc etc#but i don't think “love” and abuse are mutually exclusive#like even if someone DOES love you it doesn't mean it's not abuse and it doesn't mean it's ok#art tag
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HOT, SINGLE, UNSTUDIED SPONGES. 3000 NAUTICAL MILES AWAY. Come sail the distance and read Tiger Tiger!
#tiger tiger#ludovica bonnaire#remy bonnaire#jamis arlesi#This comic has been on my radar for *years* and I only recently - finally - sat down to read it. And by god is it amazing.#I don't want to spoil anything! But if you like amazing art and character writing *and* high seas adventure? READ TIGER TIGER.#If you asked my who my favourite character is I could not tell you. I truly like them all!!!#I even like the sleezeball who has less charm than a dead rat. He's *my* darling little rat man. With every disease.#A special shout out to my lad (he is the lad of all time) Jamis Arlesi.#Who - upon walking into frame makes me go 'Sir! Is your bosom too heavy? Do you need a new bra? My hands are free on Thursdays!'#And Ludo! My lass! I love her dearly! Every page made me more fond of her.#Book smart and uses it in very good ways! Naive enough to think it is all she needs! Learns a lot and stays kind through the horrors!#I could go on and on but...you...the person reading this...you *are* going to read it - aren't you?#So I'd hate to spoil you any more! Go read Tiger Tiger! Do it! For the sea sponges!#Rumour has it they are also freshly divorced. It was messy. Sea sponge needs a distraction. That could be you. Distracting that sponge.#You wont know until you click that link and start reading!
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they were her people
#genshin impact#furina#lumine#paimon#i don't think i'll ever stop being sad for her#i just want her to be loved omygod pls give her real friends#they really isolated her even now that she's free to be herself#she just has her job and that's it plese give her good friends
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your love returns in tragedy (ID in alt)
#farcille#falin touden#marcille donato#dungeon meshi#dunmeshi#coming face to face with the consequences of acting out of love - marcille u will always be famous#dunmeshi is really a series that keeps on moving bc it's about so many different characters and centered on the journey#rather than like... introspectively on one singular individual so i dont think we see marcille dwell on it but we can see her fatigue#her shock and surprise in the recent ep “don't hurt her she's just confused” Gah. desperately trying to grasp everything thats going on and#not to lose hope. bc undoubtedly the remains she put together was falin's - that short moment of reprieve the party had was with falin#she was able to bring her back her magic did it!! but the violence the fatal swings was not falin at all.#just pondering about holding that guilt... it's such a huge responsibility to be in charge of life in the first place and yet it is#a burden she'll keep trudging with. defying the natural orders to keep the people she love alive... i Lauv her...#also shared sentiment with the rest of the fandom but God. Chimera Falin... she is Everything....#ruporas art
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at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"
like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.
"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."
... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.
and i'd still keep writing.
i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.
i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley
"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"
and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.
it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.
you create because you're greedy.
#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME#there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing#and the writing is what i need to be doing#writeblr#this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to#edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol#i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!!#my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means#i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her)#hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong#i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet.#i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse#i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!!#i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO#i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness#and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it#im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us#i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer#and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art.#i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work#even if it means being miserable#but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.
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legend has it that the young witch circe and the once beautiful nymph scylla shared a complicated past...
#art#cirscylla#that's the ship name i like for them best anyway#circe#scylla#greek mythology#welcome to my greek mythos yuri#DOOMED YURI#circylla#epic the musical#do i even tag it as that? i think i should cuz epic is the reason im so into greek mythos#jorge said we might get a spinoff about their backstory and im insane over that#i know it's probably going to be about how circe loved that one guy but still a girl can dream#this is them but younger! before circe turns scylla into the horrific man-eating monster that even poseiden fears#there's just so much potential here#consider a younger and much warier circe landing on the island for the first time after being outcasted by her family for her magic#and she meets scylla there who back then is a much happier and playful person#enemies to lovers to enemies again#i don't know if they ever make it to lovers or if they were only an almost#they're about to have the worst breakup in greek history#im rambling in tags MY BAD
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i'm ready to try
#This drawing is kind of personal to me#I recently graduated (CUM LAUDE WOOOO!!!!) and its like. not to get depressing#but when i was younger i was never sure whether i would make it to this point#When i was going through what i consider to still be like. the worst time of my entire life#This fictional character was there for me and she was something for me to latch onto and cope with#eGem helped me a lot with being able to process my emotions at the time but also helped me to reflect on myself#which i think is a big reason as to why I'm really happy with where i am with myself right now#I'm going off to uni next school year to study astronomy!!! which!!!#Im also doing because of eGem!!! She ignited this kind of childlike wonder for space for me#I love doing math and physics and whilst Im still a bit scared because. honestly i don't know whether this is what i want to do with my lif#I think i'll be okay either way#either way i wanted to draw egem again even if i haven't done so in a while because its like#i think i wouldnt be who i am without her. i think i'd be a lot worse off#so like. thank you empires smp thank you geminitay thank you egem This drawing is me expressing my gratitude#AND THANK YOU AUTISM!#empires smp#empires smp s1#empiresblr#esmp#geminitay#art#fanart#alice.art#mcyt#mcytblr#song is andromeda by weyes blood... obv.. you guys know me by now :oP
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so rhaenyra starts s3 with a god complex, believing herself to be the prince that was promised from aegon the conqueror's dream... but hugh and ulf will betray her, mysaria will misunderstand her, coryls will undermine her, bartimos will underestimate her, daemon will abandon her, her people will turn against her and burn her castle and kill her dragon. and when everyone who accepted rhaenyra as queen rejects her, the only person left to love rhaenyra will be alicent, who never loved rhaenyra as queen but rhaenyra as a person ("she was the vision that sustained him [...] it was his love for her that kept him resolute in his choice of heir."). alicent, who abandoned her gods and duty to go to rhaenyra on dragonstone and appeal to the person beneath the crown ("i cast myself on the mercy of a friend who once loved me."). alicent, who's made a god of rhaenyra, not as queen, but as the girl she read with beneath the godswood ("come with me.").
#and rhaenyra won't accept it at first#she'll refuse to believe that she was wrong and that the prophecy wasn't about her because she's lost so much#and i don't know how she will eventually come to the realization that she isn't the prince who was promised#but i think it will be when she's forced to sell her crown and make an attempt at escape (maybe with alicent)#and so ultimately#rhaenyra's love for alicent was her downfall#because a lot of the grievances her council has will be directly/indirectly related to rhaenyra protecting alicent#and rhaenyra's love for alicent keeping her grounded to her humanity while the world around her tries to turn her into an unfeeling queen#and so the love works against the system#because the love cannot exist within the system without everything falling apart#so by taking alicent prisoner rhaenyra is dooming herself to fail at being queen#because in that moment rhaenyra - like alicent in 2x08 - chooses love over duty#hotd#alicent hightower#rhaenicent#hotd spoilers#rhaenyra targaryen#house of the dragon
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People will go on about how "Katara's story is a tragedy" because she... ended up marrying the guy she loves, having children and grandchildren which she was always excited about and literally becoming a master waterbender and rising to the top of her field as a healer.
Yes, Katara's story has tragic aspects to it. And there are certainly flaws in how she is written in tlok (Though I will argue that there are actually more issues with how Toph and Zuko are just plopped in there for no reason in later seasons). And her storylines aren't perfect, for example her resolving her trauma around the murder of her mother being more used to prop up Zuko than her own internal turmoil. (Most of TSR is from Zuko's perspective and I hate that actually)
"Katara's story is a tragedy" Why do you have such a hard on for this woman's misery? Let her be happy, man.
You know what gaang girlie's life is an actual onscreen tragedy?
Toph's!
People will fucking downplay Toph's childhood abuse because she wasn't physically hurt, but her childhood was a never ending carousel of abelism, misogyny, neglect and isolation. The way Toph describes her parent's treatment of her as "pressure and pain" is heartbreaking.
Toph's only escape was Earth Rumble and earthbending, but despite her skills, she remained the perfect little lady her parents always wanted her to be. She's never known a different life, and she was only able to be her real self in secret.
And when Toph finally opens up to her parents, when she finally lays her real self bare in front of the people who are supposed to love and care for her?
She is met with what may be, in my opinion, the cruellest rejection in the show.
Despite this, even when Toph runs away, she still cares for her parents' approval. Hell, she's even lured into a trap due to her getting a forged letter from her mom and getting excited because it looked like her mom was finally accepting her.
It's also important to note how determined to be self sufficient and to prove herself Toph is. We can especially see this right after she joins the Gaang, where she refuses to participate in splitting with the rest of the group, insisting on "pulling her own weight". This isn't Toph being a brat, or spoilt, this is her wanting to prove that she can handle herself because people have handled and understimated her her entire life.
Eventually, Toph starts to learn to trust the members of the Gaang and this is a step in the right direction. She's literally making friends for the first time in her life I'm so proud of her.
However, I was genuinely upset when Toph's life changing field trip with Zuko didn't work out. When Toph was trying to connect with Zuko and he blew her off (I'm not blaming him tho they had shit to do), I couldn't help but remember the rejection Toph suffered from Lao.
Post canon, Toph continues to try and prove herself, starting a metalbending school and training new metalbenders.
She also reconciles with her father. Not before Lao disowns he rmultiple times and calls her a rude, ungrateful thing. And while he eventually comes to understand Toph and cherish her, that type of trauma sticks with you.
So it's no wonder really that Toph, someone who went her entire childhood seemingly without even speaking to someone her age, would have trouble forming connections. She has children with two different men, neither of which seem to stick around.
Toph tries to do right by her daughters and gives them the freedom she never got. Sadly, the pendulum swung too far to the other side, since it seems that she started to neglect her daughters, which led to them developing a sleugh of issues of their own.
Toph becomes the cheif of police, which kind of makes sense. Republic City was only slowly emerging as an actual metropolis. Toph took on a role as a protector, and probably as a way to prove herself. But as Republic City grew, Toph probably realised that she became something she hated. A cog in the machine, and started to despise her job.
Searching for a semblance of the freedom and happiness her travels afforded her in her childhood, Toph leaves the city and takes up the life of a hermit in a swamp. She managed to fix her relationship with Suyin to some extent, but still seems reluctant or simply unable to connect with her daughter or grandchildren. Since she apparently hasn't seen Opal, a grown 20 year old woman since she was a little girl.
On the surface old Toph doesn't seem terribly dissimilar to young Toph, still tough and spunky. But she is more jaded, depressed and pessimistic. She comes out to save Suyin from immediate harm and manages to somewhat reconcile with Lin, but then she fucks right back off to the swamp where she seems to literally hide until Wu and Korra straight up force her to come with them.
Toph's story began with her alone and it seems to end with her alone as well. It's a story of a girl who grew up isolated and handled by others, and was woefully unprepared for the real world, which only jaded her further. She lives with the guilt of fucking up her daughters' lives and a belief in the pointlessness of life.
Toph started off longing to experience the world and ended up willingly isolating herself from it.
If that isn't a tragedy, I'm not sure what is.
Mind you, this is not the trauma olympics. I'm not saying that Toph has suffered more than Katara or that Katara's trauma is not as valid as Toph's. Katara and Toph's experiences are completely different, Katara being a victim of genocide and war, Toph being a victim of child abuse. I'm just saying that, objectively, Katara had a happier 'ending' than Toph.
#that being said I lowkey love Toph's storyline#i don't think her life would be better if she were in a “traditional” family btw#hey lao beifong what if i killed you#toph beifong#toph#katara#suyin beifong#lin beifong#zuko#aang#lao beifong#beifong brainrot#opal beifong#legend of korra#avatar#tlok#the legend of korra#avatar the legend of korra#atlok#lok#atla#avatar: the last airbender#the last airbender#avatar the last airbender#kataang#pro toph beifong
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Izumi (steambaby) sketches.
#zutara#atla#avatar the last airbender#steambabies#atla izumi#zuko#katara#atla art#atla fanart#zuko x katara#katara x zuko#fire lord izumi#atla oc#fire lord zuko#katara of the southern water tribe#steambaby#Hello Izumi!#She's got her dad's dry sarcasm and her mom's Stare of Judgment™#Uncle Sokka's perfectionism and Auntie Toph's tendency to give nicknames to anything that moves#Auntie Suki's Kyoshi Warrior training (because of course) and Uncle Aang's love for animals#Auntie Azula's poker face and Uncle Iroh's stragetic mind! And love for tea. And wisdom (which is overruled by her awkward self)#She's a daddy's girl and momma's best friend. They'll all braid each other's hair and go to terrible plays and do vigilante stuff together#She's got blue fire and a blue baby dragon named Tui and an arctic wolf named Agni. And yes that's the right name order. Deal with it.#She probably has a nonbender baby brother. Lu Ten is a swordmaster and the most lovable human being on this planet#Maybe another baby sister. Waterbender. Absolute MENACE. I'll think about it.#Or maybe she's an only child#Who knows!#I'm just here for the vibes and drawing pretty people#You guys come up with headcanons for her. I'd love to read them!#I don't think I'll do anything with her any time soon so...
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Diversity win! All the male mannequins in the nursing class I was in had vaginas (literally all)!
Diversity loss! Everyone was Weird about it
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#nonbinary#how are you wanting to be an LPN or EMT but can't stand the sight of a vagina. genuinely.#the only person who wasn't weird was the instructor (an older nurse who took No shit)#i would entrust her in an emergency situation because she gives No fucks about bodies#also i was normal about it. for obvious reasons. honestly i really loved that about the class. they just laid there in their gowns.#it felt like... oh this is a normal thing. it would have been easy to just not make them the male models but they did#because otherwise those medical models are very binary and conforming and whatnot#this was a while ago but i think about it still sometimes#i had to take that class but i don't want to be in nursing. however that class really was useful and this is only a part of why lol
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Thanks for listening to my sad backstory. Anyway, here's Wonderwall.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan xichen#lan wangji#madam lan#This normally would have been two separate comics but I felt like it was a far better joke to have them together.#Enjoy the rare double feature comic!#I was listening to this episode - scripting out and preparing for a longer and heartfelt comic on this scene.#And then Lan Xichen pulled out his flute and started playing unprompted.#I could not contain my laughter. I know it is trying to be emotionally resonate and the flute is pretty but...#It really does have the energy of “Okay thanks for listening to my tragedies and traumas. I don't know how to segue out of this.”#This madam lan design is inspired by Qourmet's design! Really good stuff that I was not able to do more with in this one panel.#Speaking of...I know it is ambiguous on purpose and we are only told what happened through LXC's POV but...#I always interpreted madam lan's passing as a suicide. I think LXC was told it was illness to soften the blow.#She was stuck in a house with maybe a servant coming by to give her food. One day a month she saw her children.#Of course she was warm and loving in their memories-#She was trying to give them a version of her that would be remembered as such. She wanted to protect them from the truth.#She did her best but she was already dead a long time ago. She must have felt like a ghost haunting a house.#Love to her was waiting. And both her boys inherited that view of love.
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emily prentiss + her waning tolerance of getting close to killers
#criminal minds#criminalmindsedit#criminal minds evolution#cmevolutionedit#cmverse#cmverseedit#emily prentiss#emilyprentissedit#mine#edit#*#category*#the progression here!!!!!! she's so young and playful as lauren she has NO IDEA how much that is going to change her!!!!#and then the memory of it all with karl it all comes back and she's struggling to shake it#and now??? FUCK THAT NOISE she is NOT doing this again#(never not thinking about 'it's clean. i know who the good guys and the bad guys are. i don't have to worry about screwing someone over.'#LIKEEEEEEEEEEEEE the implication of how much it messes her up to connect to monsters and see a sliver of humanity. that she thinks about#screwing over that human piece. that it stays with her. her relationship with empathy is so fascinating to me and i can't get enough!!!!!)#god i love her
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#911 abc#911edit#evan buckley#athena grant#oliver stark#angela bassett#tuseraurore#tuserdaria#tvgifs#tvedit#cinemapix#userkimmy#userdean#userlauren#alielook#mio#gifset#2024#m:911#i don't think we talk about athena's affection for buck enough#because she goes from not being able to stand him to understanding and accepting what he means to her husband#and that acceptance turns into love for him too because she knows that what that boy has always wanted and NEEDED was to be loved#not only for who he is but for the reckless kid he used to be too#like she loves that boy!!!!! he's one of her kids too idgaf!!!!
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