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emotori7 · 4 months

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ok the Roxy theory

people have come to me and asked "do you think Roxy's dad is not the man who she calls dad? But duman one of the wizards of the black circle?"

I never thought about it myself but I do find it odd about how similar the two are but I'ma go with what is giving people the idea that Duman on might be roxy's real father and not her actual dad and let y'all be judge the situation do y'all think it's possible?

1st the pink hair we know she was born with it and he has it as well even in flashbacks

2nd the powers she the fairy of animals he's a shapeshifter

3rd the personality and attitude I could go into detail about this but basically they have a lot of similarities in their personalities neither one of them want help like Roxy refusing the Winx help and wanting to leave her alone while he refused the specialists help when it came to stabilizing his powers in other reasons suggesting that they may be related

4th reason now I didn't really noticed this but people said that when something was wrong with him Morgana seemed really concerned about him and willing to do whatever she could to help him until they found out it was another trip to once again in prison them and there were Castle and that she seemed very hurt and upset about including when he was killed (but again I never noticed it so who knows)

5th (against I don't know where people get this from because I didn't really notice it) it never really seemed like he tried fighting against her or Roxy for that matter he seemed like every time he encountered Roxy he didn't try to attack her harm her or anything he just wanted to talk to her into complying with them like talk her down or something I don't know really

I mean 3 of the reasons Seem concrete to me but the last two not really because I never particularly noticed it myself but who knows maybe I should re-watch season 4 but Morgana and duman could of had a chance I mean they both are around the same age they've been around for a few centuries

How I see it if he really is her father and not the man who is stated to be her father in the show then how I see this happening is they was going when they first met or maybe before he joined the evil fairy Hunter Lord Yllidith (comic book character) and fell in love and all during the time while the world was under peace but then the evil Lord placed an illusion spell onto him (probably because he was close to the fairy queen and he probably could use him for his own personal gain since her wanted to take over their kingdom and rule Earth) because it states somewhere that he was under the command of a powerful wizard of illusions who was also a fairy Hunter or showed him an illusion that made him think things against Morgana for him to hate her and join the fairy hunters then the great siege of tir na oag (I can't spell that correctly) she saw him fighting alongside the hunters and feeling betrayed by her lover not understanding why he would say against the hunters and would want to attack her believe in that he loved her so broken heart and upset that she no longer wanted anything to do with him nor love him or whatever so she help defender people not carrying if she ended up destroying her love her not when the evil Hunter Lord got defeated by her and three of the major fairies because nebula wasn't a major fairy at this point but she became one after the great siege apparently according to the comic books and was in prison inside the fairy Castle all of the hunters fled and went into hiding an ogron became the new leader he made himself leader he was already thinking about overthrowing the hunter Lord but he knew that he was far too powerful for him to take on alone but the moment he got defeated by the fairies he immediately took the position as the new leader and duman he respected and feared the hunter Lord before he got defeated by the fairies and it is said even after they hunted down all the fairies and strict of the powers and sealed them away inside their Castle he never wants visited the former fairy Hunter nor freedom from his imprisonment they left him their basically abandon him and all

well Morgana probably never forgot about him still hurt and upset to the points to refuse to allow herself to fall in love with anyone again which sparked something within her which would later blossom into what we would later see in season 4 when her and the rest of the fairies finally get freed from their imprisonment that the wizards had placed them in

but probably some time had passed and everything was still at Peace and all when suddenly duman comes to Morgana to speak to her which at first she will refuse to but after some begging and all she gives in and he claims what really happened that he was tricked and under the impression she had betrayed him and probably was under some powerful spell that he finally managed to break the spell over him and that he left the fairy hunters for her to prove his love and claims he is sorry he would have never hurt her willingly and even though historius believable she just couldn't bring herself to believe and what he was saying so she sent him away and he probably try talking to her until he realized that there was no talking to her and he left but probably told her what he is saying is true and that he really did love her and after some time she probably started thinking and soon believed he may have been telling the truth and seeked him out to speak to him and probably found him and they probably talked everything out and she probably told him that she never stopped loving him that she never betrayed him and all of that good stuff and they probably became lovers again but they had to be in secret because of her people because they knew they wouldn't accept their love and all and maybe some more time had passed allowing them to become very close to where she became very open with him or maybe some earth fairy was catching on to their secret love (preferably nebula because of how her attitude and the way she acts towards Morgana in the show as if she for some reason blames her for something that happened to them or something so she probably found out that they were secretly involved) and caught them together and something may have happened and a fight broke out and duman got severally hurt or was being severally effected by the fairy magic more likely nebula's (Morgana and nebula attacking one another and nebula probably over powered her and he jumped in the way to protect her) in the process and it broke Morgana heart to the point she probably done something that gave him the ability to make him immune to fairy magic to save him (this conversation probably came up between them because that was the plan all along is to find out how to be immune to fairy magic so they can finish what they started and seek revenge and all he probably used her to succeed in their plan given their former relationship and knew how she was at the time she probably was young naive caring in a very forgiving person unlike how she is in the show even though we kinda see that behavior sometime and every now and then and close to the end causing nebula to lash out and everything against her) unaware that what she just did set the events that lead up to their imprisonment in motion in that moment because as soon as he recovered he probably began to laugh which confused her causing him to reveal something to her (the plan to gain the ability to be immune to fairy magic and that he was just using her the whole time to get it because he knew only she would know how to do it that he was just playing her to get what he wanted and she was so naive to believe him and "so in love" to see what was really going on that it just made that much easier for him and she probably got angry (probably called him some names) and tried attacking him (and probably along with nebula) just for their attacks to fail because he was now immuned to their powers and he probably started laughing and said did you forget you made me immune to fairy magic? And probably attacked them knocking them out or back or something and laughed again and probably said well I would love to stay in chat but I got places to be in things to do (or whatever) instead of walking away but not before thanking her again well the events soon started taking place that we all know about the fairies get attacked they lose they have their powers taken and imprison in their own castle but Morgana and nebula was the last two to be captured nebula got captured first

it will be some time before Morgana get captured at this point rock she had already been born and she's about close to 10 years old when Morgana gets captured even though we see her around the age of five or seven she still pretty close to being ten Morgana probably found out she was pregnant with Roxy which caused her to abandon her people and go into hiding because she was pregnant an unable to fight or she could risk losing her baby so she had to leave plus you probably didn't want do money to know that she was pregnant with his child and he might try taking the child from her and raising her up to be evil so she probably thought go into the human round and masculating as a human was the only way she could protect her unborn baby her as long as she could and probably left nebula in charge while she tried to escape in go into hiding to protect her unborn baby nebula probably knew that she was pregnant as well while everyone else probably was unaware about it to where she was willing to take on to position (but they say nebula and Morgana was the last two ferries to get captured as if nebula at one point was with Morgana and once nebula got captured that's when Morgana went into hiding when the last of her people had gotten captured which is how she ended up meeting the man who supposedly is roxy's father the blonde haired human man and basically abandoning her people who was imprisoned back and their world within their Castle to live the life of a human having a family just in ordinary person because from the way it seems like she never once tried to rescue her people she never tried to see if she could find a way to save them she just continued living her life but when you see her with the rest of the earthquakes they still seem to respect her they don't really see him hospital towards her the only time we see any of her people be hospital towards or it's nebula who literally over throws her by imprisoning her instead of mirror but everyone else they still see her as a queen they still respect her and everything so it proves that it's not entirely the case about her abanding her people because you would think if she abandoned her people her people would act more harsh towards her like you would think that they have like a completely different attitude towards her then how they do besides nebula so it's possible the Earth ferries were aware of her being pregnant with Roxy and probably was informed of what had all occurred and happened and Morgana probably chose two step down and allow nebula to rule because it's obvious she is unfit to rule she's not the kind of Queen that they need in all but the people probably forgave her for everything that had happened because it's not like she knew what was really going on but she just probably felt so guilty about it to where she felt like she no longer should rule but nebula probably stepped in and probably encouraged her that it's in the past and all kinds of all that stuff a whole conversation probably was about it and they probably agree that whatever happens next they'll take care of it together but when it got to a certain point the Earth fairies believed that she should go into hiding because she probably discovered she was pregnant and her people thought they only way to protect her own born baby and her was to for her to go into hiding she is the Queen after all and everything so her people probably told her she should go into hiding to keep from being captured cuz it was obvious they were losing the fight and and she probably refused to go she probably refused to abandon her people better people probably insisted that she went into the human world and go into high and they probably insisted her to and she probably agreed eventually and left nebula in charge while she was gone and when the wizards stormed the Castle to fight whatever was lift of the Earth fairies nebula probably fought tooth and nail to defend the Castle from them but ended up losing the fight and being captured so with the last member of her people now captured in prison Morgana had nothing left

no people no home she had nothing to go back to so she knew to live her life as an ordinary human and probably tried her heart is to refrain from using magic as much as possible and she probably met roxy's supposedly father while she was still pregnant they fell in love and she probably wasn't that far along yet in her pregnancy so when she became far along and her new lover discover she was pregnant she probably claimed that he was the father to cover up who is the real father and apparently he knew all about her being a fairy but he probably didn't know that she's a fairy Queen and all that stuff he probably just knew that she was a fairy and that her people were attacked by some awful people and all or she probably had him under the impression that she was just some ordinary human he probably didn't know about her being a fairy until sometime later on in the show who knows what that part Roxy naturally would have been born but given that she was already pregnant and in her early stage of pregnancy probably to her new lover roxy's "dad" he probably believed Roxy was premature and given Morgana has some kind of magical powers over the mind where she can make people forget and remember she probably has the ability to add memories into someone mind she clearly has some kind of power over the mind she probably can control minds or something who knows but it's obviously has some kind of powers over the mind she probably placed some false memories in his mind and just replaced duman in those memories with him or whatever who knows basically the man believed Roxy was his because he wasn't told the truth

Well later on while she thought she was in the clear the wizards was still searching for her because they knew she was still out there because I'm sure they knew they had and captured her the queen of all fairies I don't read that they were going to just forget you like that duman probably sensed her somewhere on Earth but couldn't exactly locate her or she probably had it where it blocked his senses of her cuz she was in hiding for about 10 years of roxy's life she had to have some kind of block to keep him from being able to censor and like I said she clearly has some kind of mental powers or powers of the mind so she probably mentally placed a powerful spell that mentally blocked her signal or their senses and sensing her power and everything or whatever and they curtain tracker because of that mental and all but suddenly Roxy became of age when she started producing her own magical aura and duman probably sensed it (he probably had a more stronger connection to her given she is his daughter) and he thought it was Morgana who had finally lowered her shield or her guard thinking that they had ended their search give it how much time has passed until he realized he didn't fully recognize the aura it seemed different but also the same still he tracked it because whatever it was had to lead him to Morgana because who else would it be (keep in mind Bloom is already residing on Earth at this point and bloom is supposedly seven or eight years older than Roxy when she was sent to earth but she supposedly was sent far into the future and the weirdest thing is from the time that bloom was born Bloom was born before the great war happened on Earth where the Earth fairies had gotten captured an imprisoned and disappeared so needless to say Daphne probably has some kind of power where she can see into the future and she probably saw this happening because she sent Bloom forward to the future where the ancestral witches is no longer existed to an earth that no longer possessed magic and no longer part of the realm of magic so clearly Daphne had foreseen all of these events happening so it kind of makes you really question Daphne here)

I can do a whole ass post on just a timeline alone because the more you think about it and the more you discussed it you realize how really f***** up everything really is but it is clearly obvious according to the rest of the Magical universe Earth and the Earth areas wasn't s*** to them as if Earth and the Earth was their own separate thing like they had no part of the Magical realm because even miss griselda said in season 1 "outside the realm of Magix? Impossible" even though magix is its own planet and not the actual magical universe she basically was saying earth is outside the magical universe and not considered apart of the realm of Magix and all and given the Earth fairies go by Tinkerbell logic they literally have to be believed in it's obvious why they are considered so different compared to the rest Earth is not within the magical realm so it does not feed off its own magical energy for it does not possess its own magical which is why the earth fairies are forced to rely on being believed in to possess any magical abilities while the risks of the universe they don't have to worry about being believed in because their planets feed on their own magical energy and all but still there is a lot I can go on about but anyway back on topic

Duman probably found Roxy playing outside and realized she was Morgana daughter he probably recognized Roxy as his as well given her pink hair and her magical energy and he probably became furious about the fact that he had a daughter that he didn't know anything about and knowing him he wanted to get back at her mother for keeping her from him (cause I'm sure if he knew she was pregnant he would have just captured her and in prisoned her inside the dungeon until she had the baby and take her away from her before imprisoning her and her own castle with the rest of the Earth fairies and raising Roxy up to be a witch or something) and he probably started talking to her and pretending to be an old friend of her mom's and convinced her to introduce her to her mother and some confrontation probably happened when Morgana saw Roxy with Dumont and he probably had a hold of her and refused to release her unless she complied with him fight probably broke out which probably revealed her true nature to her now husband that she was a fairy before he overpowered her Morgana husband probably tried to attack Duman and of course he probably did away with him quickly knocked him out and Morgana probably pleaded with Duman to let them go that she'll do whatever he wants that she'll go back to tir na oag (again I don't know how to spell it) just let them go and leave them be that Roxy is just a child and doesn't deserve to be sealed away she still young she can still live a normal life and probably made it clear the others may not accept her and my imprison her as well if you have any heart you would let her go and a lot her to live a normal life and want to protect her like I have been trying to do and he probably saw reason and told her he agreed as long as she agreed to return and erase their memories of her to better cope with her absence and she probably agreed and that's how she got captured and imprisoned

But that is my story to the Duman being Roxy's father theory whatcha think?

#winx club #Winx club theories

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lilahisntsadanymore · 3 years

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One summer Harry and his friends wander to the attic of Harry's aunt, Y/n Evans, house and find her old diary. It contains interesting things about her old life and relationship.

Part 2

Pairing(s): Sirius Black x evans!reader, Jily

The reader pronouns: she/her

Words count: 3.5k

Tw: none, the beginning is boring, it gets more interesting though

(y/n/f/l) - your name's first letter

A small part of this fanfic is inspired by Paper rings by the one and only miss Taylor Swift

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Secrets of the diary

Y/n, as the good godmother she was, really wanted to throw a party for Harry's thirteenth birthday. Of course, she firstly discussed it with Harry, who turned out to not want any 'big' party. It was the same each year and each year Y/n hoped the boy will say yes, but she wouldn't do anything against his will.

"Maybe you want to invite Neville?" Y/n asked. "I knew his parents... I suppose he's a good friend."

Y/n paused after the word parents, remembering what happened to them and where they're now. Everyday Y/n missed Lily and James, but she was glad they didn't end up like Alice and Frank. Maybe it was a mean thought, maybe it was egoistic, but Y/n wouldn't know how to act if her sister lost her mind and didn't recognize her. Well, it was almost like that with Petunia, whose only form of communication were Merry Christmas cards.

"I'm not really that close to him." Harry said. "But I wouldn't mind inviting him."

"Okay, good! So it's gonna be the Weasleys, Hermione and Neville. Are you sure you don't want anyone else?"

"Positive. They're enough."

And so it was settled. Around 4pm on the 31st of July the first guests were only four of the Weasley kids with Molly and Arthur, then Hermione and eventually Neville.

After Harry blew out the candles, opened his presents and everyone ate the birthday cake, the kids were free to do their stuff while the adults talked.

"Feel free to do whatever you want. I have some quidditch equipment in the cupboard under the stairs." Y/n announced.

The children ran outside to play quidditch. Y/n had enough brooms for them all, although Hermione and Neville preferred to stay on the ground.

Ron threw the quaffle to Harry, but the boy didn't catch it. Thankfully, the window on the top floor was open, because otherwise it would be broken.

"What? I'm a seeker, not a chaser." Harry laughed but then added. "I'll go get it."

Harry quickly went to the attic of the house. He hasn't been there before. There wasn't a need to. It was a typical attic. Not furnished with a little mess of unnecessary things threw around.

The boy found the quaffle, it wasn't difficult. But something else caught his attention. The quaffle landed nearby an old coffe table, but it wasn't the interesting thing. What really caught Harry's attention was a brown notebook on the table.

Harry took the notebook in his hand and examined it. He decided to open it.

September 1st, 1975

Dear diary

So it was a diary. Whose could it be? Well, most likely aunt Y/n's. She wouldn't keep someone's diary in her attic.

I'm so excited for my 4th year at Hogwarts. The welcoming feast was as boring as always, but James and Sirius kept mocking Dumbledore so we didn't die of boredom.

James was Harry's dad. But who was Sirius? Harry kept reading, hoping to find out.

I don't understand why Lily doesn't want to go out with James. He's so funny! If they don't date after this year, I'm playing matchmaker the next year.

Seems like it worked, Harry thought, good job aunt Y/n. Harry felt interested by the diary, but not in a nosy way. In a way of reading a good book and needing to know how it ends.

If I was in Lily's place, I'd go out with James. Not like I fancy him, I don't. I still like Sirius like that but I don't think he likes me back. Oh, someone's coming. Bye bye, diary.

And just like that, the door of the attic opened. Harry shut the diary closed and hid it behind his back.

"What's taking you so long, Harry?" Ron asked, Hermione walked in with him.

"Just... no- nothing." Harry stuttered.

"What's that?" Hermione pointed at the notebook.

"It's Y/n's diary from Hogwarts."

"I want to read it!" Ron exclaimed, grabbing the diary and opening it.

"It's her private memories, we can't read it, Ronald!" The girl scolded him.

"Then don't, I'm not telling you to."

Hermione opened her mouth, watching her friends sit down on the wooden floor. Harry and Ron's eyes were fixated on the page Harry opened the diary on before.

"A Sirius?" Ron asked. "But your aunt has been single, hasn't she?"

"She wrote he doesn't feel the same."

"Bloody hell, do you think she still hasn't moved on since then? It's been eighteen years."

"You really shouldn't read it." Hermione chimed in.

Ron ignored the girl, flipping a few pages. There was a picture sticked to this page. It was a photograph of young Y/n and a boy her age, both of them beaming. The boy had long, dark hair and well defined face features. Unlike every magical photograph, this one wasn't moving.

December 26th, 1975

Dear diary

I gave Sirius a muggle camera for Christmas and he was so surprised! Me and the boys took a few pictures and I got to keep one. Neither me or Sirius knew how to pose, so Remus took the picture when James told us a joke and we burst out with laugher.

On the Christmas day we talked about muggle traditions and how they/we kiss under the mistletoe. Sirius jokingly tried to kiss me, but I laughed it off. I really want it, but as I mentioned earlier he doesn't like me like that.

"So this is Sirius." Ron stated, taking one more look at the picture. "Y/n barely looks any different, she almost didn't age."

"Sirius looks so familiar." Harry said.

"I suppose he had kids, so his son might be at Hogwarts with us."

Hermione's curiosity conquered the will to protect Y/n's privacy. The girl sat next to her friends and peeked into the diary.

"He's Sirius Black!" Hermione gasped almost immediately. "The wizard who broke out of Azkaban recently."

"Bloody hell! Harry, your aunt fancied a criminal, can you believe it?"

"Maybe he wasn't so evil back in the Hogwarts years... he could be a nice friend, he looks... nice, I guess."

"Can you imagine a nice friend ending up in Azkaban? People don't go there for being too nice."

"Turn it to another page." Harry broke the small argue his friends were having.

The few next pages had some muggle camera photographs. Some pictures of Harry's parents, some of James and his friends, some of Lily and her friends, a few of just Lily and Y/n. And one more of Y/n and Sirius on the page of another entry.

February 15th, 1975 1976

Hey there, diary!

First of all, happy New Year! I haven't written in a while, but I've been so busy with school. I finally got some time to relax this weekend. Well, kind of... me and Sirius went on a date yesterday! Can you believe it? We went to Hogsmeade, the Three Broomsticks. James, Remus and Peter kind of crashed our date by peeking at us through the window, but it was quite funny.

I'm so happy, it feels like I'm dreaming. Maybe Sirius likes me like that after all... I couldn't be happier if he did. I wish I could read his mind through those beautiful grey eyes. His eyes always make me forget what I was about to say, there's something about his stare, it gives me weak knees and blanks my thoughts.

Later on when we were back in our common room, we were all chattering by the fireplace. I was tired and fell asleep on Sirius' chest. He fell asleep with his head leaning on mine. Remus took a picture of us! Embarrassing, but I couldn't throw it away.

And there it was - the photograph of Y/n and Sirius asleep together. Despite the fact that they were sleeping, they looked happy.

"They look good with each other." Hermione said in a dreamy tone of voice, gaining a nod from boys. "Skip to the next page."

"Skip to the next page?" Ron was scoffed. "Okay, miss It's-Her-Private-Memories."

The next entry's page was covered in drawings of many little hearts. In one that was bigger there was '(y/n/f/l)+S'.

February 20th, 1976

Oh Godric,

I can't believe I'm writing it, I can't believe it's happening. Me and Sirius are in a relationship!!! I am so happy. He asked me on a walk around the castle and then asked me out. I swear I'll always walk everywhere holding hands with him, I'll never let go of him (except for during classes). Now that we're dating I wanna kiss him all the time and keep complimenting his pretty eyes.

This entry isn't so long because nothing else happened, bye bye!

"Seems like Y/n was really into Sirius." Hermione laughed.

"Now I know why she kept this diary in a place nobody ever walks into." Harry added, also laughing.

"Let's see the next entry!"

And so they kept reading entry after entry, like the most interesting book. Each one of the trio quietly told themself internally to treat it just like a real book. Maybe they needed an explanation for being so nosy so they didn't feel guilty.

November 1st, 1977

Hello diary,

Yesterday's Halloween party was totally fun! We secretly threw it in our common room. Me and Sirius dressed up as Morticia and Gomez Addams from my favorite sitcom.

[a picture of people at the Halloween party, Y/n and Sirius on the first plan]

Lily had such a great costume too! [an arrow pointing at Lily] She was a vampire. Looks so realistic, doesn't she? Oh, I almost forgot! She and James are FINALLY dating, it took a while. They went through some ups and downs during their talking stage, but I'm happy for them [a doodle of a heart]. Parents wrote me that Petunia and Vernon got married recently, but me and Lily weren't invited.

"Morticia? What kind of a name is that?" Ron scoffed.

"It was made up for the show." Hermione explained. "The Addams Family is about a grotesque family with weird parents and even weirder kids."

Harry, Ron and Hermione skipped a few pages. Some had more pictures taken from a muggle camera, some had quotes from songs and poems.

On one page there was a magical photograph of Y/n and Sirius. They were somewhere that seemed like a meadow. The photograph was showing a short moment of the couple putting rings made of paper on each other's fingers.

Under it there was a little note.

I like shiny things, but I'd marry you with paper rings, that's right. Darling, you're the one I want, and I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this.

Under this none, there was another one, in a different handwriting. The trio assumed Sirius wrote it.

Pour toi, femme chérie, je crois. Que j'offrirais ma vie. Cent fois. Mais, satisfait de suivre ta loi, j'aime cent fois mieux vivre pour toi. Je n'aime rien au monde sans toi. Tout me plaît à la ronde. Par toi. Ma richesse et ma gloire, c'est toi. J'ai chanté... je vais boire. Pour toi.

(a/n: Pour toi ma chérie - Armand Gouffé)

"So... they were married?" Harry was confused.

"Of course not, the rings are paper." Hermione laughed. "I think it was a kind of a promise. Like when people give a promise ring when things get serious, but not serious enough for an engagement ring."

"Mione, do you speak French by any chance?" Ron asked. Hermione was smart, so it wouldn't be a surprise if she learned French out of boredom.

"No, but I recognize the poem. The translation went like 'For you, beloved wife, I believe. I would offer my life. A hundred times over. But, satisfied to follow your law. I like a hundred times better to live for you. I love nothing in the world without you. I like everything around. By you. My wealth and my glory, it is you. I sang... I will drink. For you'."

"They must've loved each other... why would they break up?" Harry wondered.

"Because he committed a crime." Ron reminded him. "The question is why would he commit a crime when he had such a happy relationship..."

So they kept reading in the order to find out. Things were getting more interesting with each page.

January 6th, 1980

Dear diary

I'm so excited, my sister is pregnant! The baby will be born in July. We don't even know yet if it's a boy or a girl, but Lily and James promised me and Sirius to make us the godparents. We will be the best godparents in the whole world!

Sometimes I think I'm getting too old to write a diary, that's why I've been writing less frequently. Life changed a lot after Hogwarts, obviously. Me and Sirius plan on getting married, but just not yet. We live together though and it's been great. We bought a house in Godrics Hollow near James and Lily. The amount of time we spend with them is even bigger compared to back in Hogwarts, not like I mind.

We talked about what jobs do we want and before Lily could say anything, James made sure to mention that they're too rich to work hahaha when his parents died, they left him a big fortune, but I'm sure James would rather have them back than their money. I honestly have no idea how I would deal with such loss. I'm lucky to have Lily, James, Sirius, Remus and Peter, so if a sad time comes, they're here for me. But that's just how we are - always supporting each other. I couldn't be more grateful for having these people in my life.

Everything seemed to be going alright, so the kids' curiosity wasn't cooled down. They wanted to read more, they needed to read more. Y/n's life really was like a book.

August 1st, 1980

Harry is born! His name is Harry and he is my nephew and my godson! He was born yesterday, on July 31st. We couldn't wait to see him, me, Sirius and James were waiting the whole time until the nurse said we can go in and see him. I'm not a baby-obsessed person, but I love him!

This entry was short. Well, you don't have much time for writing diaries when there's a baby around. Under the entry there was a moving picture of Y/n and Sirius holding a baby Harry and smiling at the camera.

P.S. Lily said we look good with a baby, but we don't really know if we want kids of our own! We would be happy to be the rich aunt and uncle, who buy the kid everything his parents don't allow him to have.

"You look so tiny on this picture!" Hermione pointed at the photograph.

"Obviously, he was a day old." Ron scoffed.

"I know, Ronald. Just, flip the page."

September 3rd, 1980

Hey there,

An entry after a month, amazing. We've been so busy with little Harry! He's so cute. If the sweetest sweet was a human, it would be him! I can't wait until he starts walking or says his first word. I wonder what will be his first word. Typically for most babies it's mama or dada, but what if it'll be auntie or uncle? Or Moony, or Wormy. Hahah I really can't wait to find out.

Seeing Harry growing up is a part of the reason why I hesitated when I wrote Dumbledore asking for a job interview. I would love to be back at Hogwarts and teach next generations, but it'd mean I would barely see Harry and my friends and my fiance. Fiance. Me and Sirius still haven't decided for a wedding date. We want to wait until Harry is at least one year old so that he could be there with us.

"Moony? Wormy?" Ron asked confusedly. "Who or what are these? I don't think they were mentioned earlier."

"I don't know either." Hermione said. "Maybe it were Harry's toys. Harry, do you remember any names of your toys?"

"Yeah sure, because everyone's remembers the names of their toys 13 years later." Harry laughed. "What are you waiting for? Let's read the next page!"

Next pages had many, many, photos. Some were taken from a muggle camera, some were magical. Y/n really liked this form of keeping memories.

August 4th, 1980

Hi diary

A few days ago was Harry's first birthday!!! Me and Sirius got him an amazing present...A TOY BROOMSTICK!!! Harry was so happy and James said he's a natural-born Quidditch player. I think so. After all, he has Quidditch in his blood, James was the best chaser back in our Hogwarts days.

Among other things that happened, well, I decided to take working easy. We are rich, so it's okay if I apply for a job at Hogwarts in a few years. Maybe when Harry turns 5? That's when he will go to a muggle primary school. Oh and I almost forgot to mention - me and Sirius finally picked the date for our wedding! December 18th. It's perfect, because it's right before Christmas and it'll be so snowy. We've always wanted to get married during winter.

There was a muggle picture of a 1 year old Harry with James and Sirius. The note under it said 'Harry with his dad and the best dogfather' written in Sirius' handwriting.

In this moment the kids heard footsteps coming to the attic. They put the diary on the coffe table right when Y/n walked in.

"What are you doing here?" She asked "Why aren't you with others?"

"We were uhhh..." Harry tried to think of an explanation, but before he said anything, Y/n continued.

"Is this my old diary?" The woman's eyes landed on the opened notebook.

"I'm so sorry, Y/n. We didn't mean to read it. It somehow happened. Even though Hermione tried to stop us."

"Hermione, Ron, could you join the others downstairs? I want to talk to Harry."

Hermione and Ron nodded and left the attic without a word. Before leaving, the boy gave Harry an 'I'm sorry' look.

Y/n sat on the floor next to Harry. The woman sighed, trying to keep a straight face. She wasn't angry with them reading her diary, but she didn't know how to react. For the past 12 years of Harry living with her, he hasn't done anything like this before.

"Harry," Y/n said quietly, "I want you to know, that I'm not angry, but it's not nice to touch people's private things."

"I'm so sorry, I just went here to find the quaffle after Ron threw it and I didn't catch it. The diary was lying here and-" The boy began explaining, but he was interrupted.

"I know, I know. Look, it's okay. You deserve to know about what happened in the past, but there are things you shouldn't find out about just yet, okay? Ask me the next time."

"Yes. I'm sorry."

The woman hugged her nephew as silence fell between them. How could she be angry with him? She couldn't, she knew he didn't go to the attic knowing from the beginning that there's this diary and he didn't mean to read it. 'It just happened'.

"Y/n?" Harry broke the silence. "Is this Sirius from your diary Sirius Black, the wizard who broke from Azkaban?"

Y/n stayed quiet for a little longer. What was she supposed to say? She didn't want to talk about it with anyone. Surely not with her thirteen years old nephew.

"These are the things you shouldn't find out about yet." The woman laughed it off, getting up from the floor. "You should go join your friends, Harry. You're the birthday boy today after all, aren't you?"

Harry ran downstairs with the quaffle in his hand to continue playing with his friends. Y/n stayed in the attic. She took the opened diary in her hands and read the page. Y/n remembered the day well. But it was the last entry.

After it, there was a letter written on a ripped out piece of paper. Y/n was supposed to send it, but she never did.

Sirius,

It's been a month, but I still can't comprehend what happened. Me and Remus are devastated. I don't believe you are the traitor, you would never betray any of us, especially not your best friend and his wife. Remus has a different opinion, we had an argue and now we barely talk.

Why can't they just check your wand? They'd see it wasn't you who killed Pete and those muggles. Or why can't they give you Veritaserum? They're so incompetent. But they will let you go, they wouldn't keep an innocent man in Azkaban.

Forever yours, Y/n

Y/n ripped the letter to pieces and hid her face in her hands. Her eyes teared up. She sat there, crying. They didn't let him go. He had to spend 12 years in Azkaban for a crime he didn't comitt. But he was free now. When was he going to come to Y/n? Was he going to want to see Harry?

#Sirius Black x reader #marauders x reader #Sirius Black one shot #Sirius Black #Marauders #Golden trio era #hp fanfic #hp one shot #hogwarts

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astroaquarium · 4 years

Text

Moon in Astrology: Who are you really?

the moon sign tells us how and the moons house tells us where;

who are you really...

Aries Moon:

🐯 you are very childlike and youthful-young at heart, you never want to grow up and deal with real world adult life

🐯 you are extremely passion driven, you see something you like and you stop at nothing to get it

🐯 you are a very impatient person, you want what you want and you want it now-its hard for you to stay in one spot or in one mood you are always moving forward

🐯 you struggle most with anger, it consumes you, makes your blood boil-there is an untammed rage that lives inside you

🐯 your mother may have been very childlike and have aggressive temper tantrums or alternatively been extremely driven, loving, and passionate

Taurus moon:

👛 you are grounded and reality focuesed, your feet are firmly on the ground so much so it is hard for you to ever really relax

👛 you find it hard to keep motivated, and match others pace, you like to take it easy and go at your own pace-you do not work well under pressure

👛 you struggle with overindulgence. this could be food-related, money related, drugs, anything. It is a coping mechanism which you use to fill emotional voids.

Gemini moon:

👭 you are deeply afraid of emotional connection, you avoid it at all costs, because you dont know how to relate to others on an emotional level, only intellectual. you lack emotional intellegence and too find it difficult to address ans understand your own feelings let alone others.

👭 you use hummor a lot to deflect. Hummor that is often other-focused, making fun of others, other peoples behaviour, or the external environemnt. Your joking nature can often be regarded as offensive, outlandish or unwarented to some, this is not what you intend, but you dont feel accountable for offending others with who you are. This is purely a mechanism to detract from yourself and the flaws you recognise in yourself.

👭 your mother may have been emotionally distant and not encouraged talking about feelings

Cancer moon:

🐚 you are extremely soft, loving, and giving, but this is a side of yourself you like to keep under wraps. Your emotions are strong, intuitive, and bold, you have a great understanding and knack for relating to others emotionally and can often sense pain and emotional hurt in others. You are a healer, a nurter and a giver-these are great qualities which can sometimes be abused and taken advantage of by others leaving you feeling drained and used.

🐚 you are highly sensitive and words cut deep for you. you take things said to you and about you to heart and can act out in a childish and/or volitile way when you feel attacked. This is a coping mechanism at dealing with your emorional pain which can ultimately leave you feeling even more emotional unrest.

Leo moon:

🌞 you are like sunshine, bold, bright, and full of energy. You are a bit of a primadonna/diva, you give off a lot of confidence, and like to talk yourself up. This is often an overcompensation for an upbringing that was focused on performance. You may only know of how to recieve love and affection from putting on a show.

🌞 you overexaggerate. This is a means to gain sympathy and attention that you so dearly crave. Your mother may have been very self-involved and never gave you the attention you needed.

Virgo moon:

🥗 you are a worry wort, you are constantly on high alert, looking behind your back, on the edge of your seat, in a constant state of over-arousal. You are always anticipating something to go wrong or thinking about what could go wrong, this keeps you up at night.

🥗 you need routine. others like it, or hate it, but you need it for emotional stability. You need to have things exactly how you like them when you like it. Control is a huge thing for you, this could be because your mother was very particular with how she raised you and always stuck with a routine, this may help remind you of a time you felt safe.

Libra moon:

⏳ you are self-unaware. You don’t have the best grasp on who you are, what you want, or what you are about. To cope with this, you seek out qualities in yourself you cant see in others. This means your connections with others are a vital part of your emotional idenity and without these meaningful relationships you crumble.

⏳ you struggle with dependancy on others, when others let you down you feel lost and cheated.

⏳ you may also struggle with disharmony in your relationships, whenever you argue or come into disagreements with others it can be realy damaging to you emotionally because you rely so much on reassurance from others to confirm your idenity. It may also really bother you because conflict is something you like to avoid, you would prefer to disregard your own opinion/feelings if it means you get to keep the peace and avoid the argument.

Scorpio moon:

🦅 you keep your cards close to your chest, your secrets are guarded by your heart, and your vulnerable side is rarely exposed. This is a coping mechanism to avoid disspaoitment and emotional unrest. As although you are a deeply emotional individual and feels things on a intense level, it scares you, who you are and what you feel are intensely overwhelming and this is something you want to keep burried deep within.

🦅 you are emotionally manipulative at worst and at best extremely emotionally intellegently tactful. you understand emotions very well, are extremely intiuitive, and can feel vibes and undercurrents that others cannot pick up on. This can make it very easy for you to take advantage of others emotional state to your advantge, or alternatively provide in-depth counselling and targted advice.

Sagittarius moon:

🏹 you are free-spirited and wise. You are naturally exapnsively minded, you are open to new things and new challenges more than most people, you are a risk-taker, and don’t fear the consequences of your rash actions.

🏹 you are emotionally void of expressing your feelings in a way that can be understood and heard by others. As you would rather deflect using hummor/running away or any other way possible. You don’t like to dwell on negative feelings, however you embrace and overexaggerate the positive ones.You are an optimist, almost depricatingly so that you don’t accept negative facts of reality.

Capricorn moon:

⚔️ you are practical, driven, goal-orientated and very prideful. Your extremely driven, which is what makes you so hungry for success in material form, whether that be wealth/trophies/awards/property/power/fame, you want something tangible you can show ofd for your hard work. This can sometimes be easy for you to neglect other areas in your life and see to emotional coldness/distance. You see feelings as time-wasteing, impratcial and a burden onto others. You wouldn’t want to worry/annoy others with your problems.

⚔️ your mother may have been absent or not very emotionally present in your life or taken on the role of the father, or may have been raised by a single parent. This may have made it hard for you to ever feel like you can be emotionally vulnerable with a care giver who was too busy or not present.

Aquarius moon:

🦩 you are unlike anyone else, you have a different way of seeing the world to others and often for this feel misunderstood. You may struggle with feelings of alienation, and often feel lonely, like no one can ever truely understand you.

🦩 you are an activist, a humanitarian, and have some very strong beliefs that you firmly stand by. You stand up for the underdog when no one else will because that who you identify with most.

🦩 highly stubborn, things are often your way or the highway. you dont shy away from confrontation nd in fact love to hammer your point home. this can get you into trouble.

🦩 you are emotionally closed-off, not because you are unemotional because you feel intensely and on a global scale, but because you don’t understand them. you are intellectually dominated, you think too hard, its hard for you to verbalise or understand emotions.

Pisces mooon:

🔮 you are soulful, an old soul, artsy, and often psychic. You feel on a mass scale, you are an emotional spounge-picking up on the undercurrents and vibrations of others. this can leave you in a very vulnerable state of being taken asvantage of as well as beinf emotionally abused and drainned because you take on so much of others pain.

🔮 likewise you are very sefless, you would do anything for those you love without thinking about how it affects you, always putting others wants and needs before your own.

🔮 you can be prone to addiction, either alcohol or drug abuse, or something completely different; shopping, money, sex, eating etc.

where this is expressed...

1st house: who you really are is shown on the outside, you dont hide who you are or pretend to be someone youre not. you are true to yourself.

2nd house: who you really are is shown in your values, you are what you value. your possessions reflect your true self, you buy and collect material items that express yourself and how you feel.

3rd house: who you really are is shown in how you communicate and talk to others. You express yourself and how you feel in the way you write and talk and how you interact with your siblings-they know the real you.

4th house: who you really are is shown in how in your private space, this could be your home, your room, a place where you feel safe and comfortable, your family know the real you.

5th house: who you really are is shown in your creative purisuits, what you do for fun, and how you express yourself creativly is where your heart really lies.

6th house: who you really are is shown in how you schedule your day and go about your mundane everyday chores, also in how you care for your pets-they know the real you.

7th house: who you realy are is shown in your partnerships; romantic and professional. you enter partnerships with people who you possess qualities you dont recognise in yourself.

8th house: who you really are is shown in your secrets and what you keep hidden from others.

9th house: who you really are is shown in your belifs religious or otherwise.

10th house: who you really are is shown in your reputation, or what you are striving to achieve.

11th house: who you really are is shown in your friendships, and how you feel about the collective.

12th house: who you really are is shown in your subconcious, dreams, and other altered states.

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achillieus · 4 years

Text

let you down. (sebastian stan x reader)

summary: it's a universal truth but it's worth repeating; feelings eat us raw. or just an actor and a girl falling in and out of love over the course of three months.

(this was inspired by sebastian's visit to greece for his movie, monday, and is based on that, so that means in the story we’re in 2018. also i have this posted on ao3 too but while i’m writing the last parts i thought of posting it here too)

pairing: sebastian stan x reader

warnings: alcohol, sexual references, implied depression, sebastian desperately needs to hug the reader, it's kinda slowburn because i love the yearning

(pinterest inspired board)

part: 1/6

(other parts) (masterlist)

The day it happened, it wasn't a significant meeting at all, you barely even talked. In fact, when he opened the door of your neighbor’s flat that day with a beer in his right hand and his hair messy, he didn't have any effect on you. You always knew that living next to a director meant that sooner or later you’d bump into the pretty faces of well-known people. Sure, you didn’t expect them to be Hollywood actors like him, but to say you were starstruck by the man, would be the overstatement of the year.

The building you’ve lived in for the last three years has five floors; you live in the 4th, he lives in the 5th. He’s a quiet person, usually spending his evenings out of his apartment. You’ve talked sometimes, about the weather and the weird lady that lives in the 1st floor. You’ve never told him you find his directing style a little pretentious.

You’ve never been to his place until that annoyingly warm August evening, when you find a white button up shirt on your balcony. You can clearly see more clothing when you look up and you’re certain the item you’re holding belongs to him.

He’s not there though. Instead you find a different face behind the door. Lighter eyes and darker hair. The man in front of you is definitely younger than the director. You don’t bother to notice what he’s wearing.

“Can I help you?” His voice is deeper than you expected. Stronger, with a touch of European accent. The sound of English surprises you at first but soon you realize he must be another foreign coworker that came to visit your neighbor

“No, I just think Argyris dropped this and it ended up on my floor.”

He looks at you and then at the shirt, in your hands.

Then he says “Sure, I’ll take it.”

“Okay.”

Then it ends. He doesn’t even ask your name. You don’t have to ask his. You figure out, as soon as you walk down the stairs, that it’s Sebastian Stan that you just talked to.

And while being a big fan of marvel movies, you think nothing special of him at first. You just wonder how a mostly unknown director from Greece got an actor like Sebastian to come here so they can work together. It makes no sense to you, but you forget it when your phone starts ringing.

It would’ve been easier if you never saw him again, yet you do. You see him trying to understand what the old lady from the first floor is trying to tell him. You already know. The elevator is not working. The next day you see him walking up the stairs.

You exchange a quick hello, how are you and then off you both go.

The same night Argyris invites you to have a drink with them in the terrace. Part of you wants to just stay in bed and binge watch some Sherlock episodes. Part of you already thinks of what to wear.

There are around ten people there when you show up. They’re all sitting down in huge pillows drinking and talking loudly. You don’t know most of them.

You sit next to a blonde girl, across from Sebastian. This time you notice he’s wearing a plain black shirt and holds a glass of whiskey.

You don’t share any direct conversations but you learn that he’s afraid of growing old and that he thinks Taxi Driver is one fucking masterpiece, as he says.

When you mention that you’re probably the least artistic person in the room right now, you hear him laugh.

A curly haired woman starts dancing with him at some point. You decide he’s not a good dancer.

He leaves the same time you do, following you down the stairs.

“I thought you live here.” You say when he doesn’t stop at the floor you expect him to.

“Ah no, I stay at a hotel near the centre.”

He keeps talking about his suite until you reach your door.

You part in a blur, with a short goodbye.

He still doesn’t ask for your name.

It makes you feel genuinely offended.

Two days after, he is the farthest thing from your mind, until you find him sitting in front of your door, his eyes roaming the place with despair. And then he sees you.

“Ah finally you are here.” He starts casually. “Thank god.”

You just nod.

“Argyris told me to wait for him with you. We had a meeting but he got stuck in traffic.”

You give him a look.

“He said you’re always at home so you won’t mind.”

Ouch. Yeah sure, your social life wasn’t something to brag about but for some reason the way Sebastian said it, it sounded like an insult.

“Okay, come in.” You shrug, clearly not feeling comfortable and turn around to unlock the door.

You hear him call your name. You thought he didn’t know.

“Yes?”

He offers you an easy smile. “Thank you.”

Sitting in your couch he’s eyeing the entire room, while you put some groceries in the fridge.

“Argyris says you’re a great girl.” He clears his throat. “But he thinks you’re too quiet for your own good.”

You look at him, your eyes flicking up and down his face.

“And from what I can tell, he’s right.” You hear him laugh.

It felt weird to see him laugh while he was leaning back at your cozy pillow. He had entered your life so suddenly you didn’t even have time to react to it.

“I’m sorry but I barely know you.” Your words are sharp. He sits up.

“Okay then let’s get to know each other, what’s your favorite Disney princess?”

Defeated, you laugh. “Are you kidding me?”

“No, this is an important question.”

You wait for him to crack up but then you remember he’s an actor.

“I don’t know.” You think for a second. “Mulan?”

“Oh my god. Mulan is amazing.” You smile at him. “My favorite is Jasmine, she’s just so badass.”

You share your favorites that day, having almost nothing in common rather than your everlast love for animated movies and buttered popcorn.

When it’s time for him to leave, he stops and looks at you in the eye.

“You should talk more often.”

You stare at him with confusion. “I talk,” you raise your eyebrows. “When I have something to say.”

“Good.” he says, still looking.

Later in the evening, you’re eating some yoghurt when he comes knocking on your door.

He’s different. The white tank top he was wearing this morning is replaced with a dark shirt and his face looks tired. You assume they’ve been working since he went upstairs.

“Hiii”, he says dragging the i, “Am I interrupting anything?”

You desperately want to nod. You want to tell him that you were doing the most exciting thing in the world, before he came but you were never a good liar.

So you just tilt your head and take a step back.

That’s when he enters and is met with some loud rock music blaring from your laptop.

“You like AC/DC?” he asks, almost wide-eyed.

“Well, I can tell it’s them when I hear their stuff.” For the first time that day, he seems to be in loss of words. “Why are you so surprised?”

He sits in the same spot in the couch as earlier and laughs.

“I just didn’t take you for the kind of girl who likes this music.” It’s your turn to laugh.

“Why?”

He shrugs. “I don’t know. Quiet girl who loves animated films and eats kids’ yoghurt” he looks at the carton in your kitchen table, “and also likes metal music? Doesn’t add up.”

“We’ve basically just met; you shouldn’t make assumptions about me.”

“Fair enough.” He sits back, fidgeting with his fingers.

You take some time just looking at him

There was a certain vibe about that man that made you wonder how it’d feel to cruise down a dessert highway in a convertible mustang with him. In the summer. With him wearing that white tank top.

The color of strawberries emerges at your cheeks just at the thought of it.

You wish he doesn’t notice.

You’re glad to find him looking the other way, before he speaks up.

“We’re going out tonight.” His voice is warm now. “Argyris says you should come along, even though I’m quite sure there’s no hardcore music where we’re going.” He laughs again.

I can’t. You almost say. But then anxiety slips away from you and out of sudden you want him to stop being so freaking arrogant, going around and acting like he knows exactly what kind of person you are.

He thinks you’ll say no. You can see it in his eyes.

“Sure, when should I be ready?” you say, surprising both of you.

He looks at you for some time and then trying to hide whatever he was thinking he says the first thing on his mind.

“How old are you?” He sounds pitiful. He knows. He wishes he could hit a wall; with his head.

“Twenty-one.” His eyes scan yours, unsure of what they’re looking for. “Why?”

“No reason.”

He inhales deep.

You try to blink. You’re at a party in a little bar you’ve never been before and a lot of people are wearing black. Alcohol. You can still taste it on the back of your tongue. You don’t remember how you end up pressed against a dark skinned man, but you can tell he smells of cigarettes and despair.

You sway your body to the beat, close your eyes. Breath in. And out. You think the music deafens you for a second but you open your lids and see Sebastian and he’s watching you, unashamed.

He’s not that far, though it feels like it with countless bodies in the way. The music melts. His gaze is almost angelic. Or devious. You can’t really tell.

He’s dancing with that curly haired woman again. You wonder how intimate their relationship is.

The red neon lights make his skin glisten. His muscles move divinely. It makes you think there’s an entire world inside him, his flesh barely keeping it hidden. Out of sudden you get the urge to walk towards him. You want to see him up close under this dim lighting. But you don’t move.

The man that’s groping your waist asks for your name. You tell him you need to flee. He doesn’t understand.

You sit outside with the sweet summer breeze touching your bare arms. The bass of the music in the background syncs with the beating of your heart. You can feel your ribs grow with every breath you take. Until you stop breathing because the door opens and his eyes suffocate you.

You can’t fathom the effect he has on you. He was a pretty face on screen some days ago. But right now he steals distance and stays near you.

You don’t look his way. He doesn’t say a word. Nicotine and smoke surround you as he exhales. His fingers hold the cigarette butt with care.

“Do you want some?”

You turn to look at him.

“I don’t smoke.” He laughs.

“That doesn’t mean you don’t want some.”

You want to know if his breath has the taste of sulfur. You want to pretend it’s the alcohol or the loud music that makes your head hurt.

“What’s the best part of being an actor?” The blue in his eyes glows.

There’s silence but he seems to be thinking about it.

“Do you ever feel things too much?” He says, his voice hoarse. “I mean, when you feel something so intensely it becomes a part of who you are.”

You nod. You understand.

“Acting allows you to let go of these feelings,” he starts. “You share the burden with the audience until it becomes light and you can hold it again.”

You look at him, shaking your head.

“I don’t think I could that,” you close your eyes. “I don’t think I could share what I feel so easily.”

He stands up. The wind hits you again.

“A lot people can’t. That’s why everyone is heartbroken,” he takes a breath, “Feelings eat us raw.”

You both go to bed alone that night. Tomorrow there is a hole next to you.

the morning after, search history

(02:45 PM) hangover recovery

(03:00 PM) best food after a hangover

(03:10 PM) sebastian stan

(03:30 PM) sebastian stan girlfriend

(06:00 PM) xanax side effects

You follow him on Instagram. He doesn’t follow you back. You remember he probably gets tons of followers every day and decide not to let it bother you. Instead you study for the exams of the following month.

The subject of your studies doesn’t interest you. Another poor decision you made under pressure. Sometimes you feel as if your life is borrowed from someone else. Sometimes you feel as if you haven’t found your home yet.

Feelings eat us raw.

His girlfriend looks beautiful in the pictures you find online. The media isn’t certain if they’re still together but you like to think so. It makes it easier to avoid him.

But the universe seems to be oblivious to your thoughts and you see him that same day. You’re taking the garbage out and he’s coming down from the top floor. You meet in the elevator.

“I’m glad to see you’re still alive,” his eyes are smiling as he talks “you looked kinda drunk last night.”

You fidget with the hem of the bag you’re holding.

“I wasn’t drunk.” You notice he’s growing some stubble. You’re not sure you like it.

“Whatever you say, doll.” You bite your cheek trying to devour any sign that might give away how his words make you flinch.

He turns his body a little so now you’re facing each other. He’s so pretty. He’s so pretty in a way that doesn’t hurt. You try not to stare at him, but you fail sometimes. You’ve never noticed how slow the elevator moves until you want to get out. You can’t stand being so close to him for much longer.

He’s an arrogant rich actor who loves Disney and smokes a lot, you think. I have no reason to be affected by him.

“Ah! Argyris said we’re leaving for the weekend.” You eye him curiously. “He wants to show us some small villages in the south. He thinks we should get to know the country a little more before we start.”

You’re stunned by your neighbor’s dedication to his work. Sometimes you wish you had something you could be passionate about too. Sometimes you think you’re never going to find it.

“That’s great. I’m sure you’ll like it.” You give him a smile.

He leans his back at the wall. The elevator stops. Finally.

“I like your eyes.” You grab tight onto the bag. “But they don’t smile when you do.”

He opens the door and he’s gone.

They tell you that it’s fun to meet a famous person. They tell you, you can ask for a photo and a hug. They tell you celebrities don’t talk a lot but that doesn’t mean they’re rude.

But he’s not like that.

He’s fire. He’s burning heat and scorching flames. His words are his thoughts; raw. You don’t like it.

late night search history

(00:38 AM) blue valentine movie soundtrack

(01:15 AM) is sebastian stan a bad person

(01:30 AM) acting classes for amateurs

(01:50 AM) cheap leather boots

(02:10 AM) sebastian stan eyes

You find it annoying; how he’s present even when you’re alone.

Thankfully he’s leaving for the weekend, you think.

The weekend, however, is two days away.

You think you can get away without seeing him. And you do. Until it’s late at night again. And they’re all upstairs with music so loud you’re certain the lady on the first floor is going to be rude about it in the morning.

The music tempo has you unaffected. All you think about is if he’s dancing with that woman again.

He’s such a bad dancer, he should not be dancing.

There’s a subtle knock on your door. You know it’s him. You hope you’re wrong.

“Do you feel like dancing?” His face is all flustered. It’s a good look on him.

“You can’t come knocking on my door at 2 AM and ask me to dance.” His gaze is filled with confusion.

“So you don’t feel like dancing?” You roll your eyes. He notices.

“That’s not the point Sebastian.” It’s the first time you call him by his name. You let it slip away slowly, testing the way it sounds coming out of your mouth.

He takes a step closer. You are suddenly aware of your pyjama shorts and your exposed skin.

“I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to irritate you.” His eyes are the cliché blue of the sky. “I just thought you might want to dance, that’s all.”

Suddenly you feel guilty and embarrassed. He’s oblivious to it.

For a moment you feel his eyes linger on you. It feels surreal.

You nod at him.

He’s ready to say something when Argyris comes down the stairs, his shirt slightly unbuttoned.

“Ah man, I thought you got lost or something.” You lower your eyes. “Stop messing with the poor girl. People are looking for you.”

He throws a smile at you and Sebastian takes a quick breath.

“People are always looking for me.”

He gives away that he’s carrying a burden. Your expression softens. But then you look at Argyris and you see he doesn’t really pay attention to these words.

You share a quick look before you’re there standing alone at your doorstep, trying to grasp the idea of him.

When you wake up you feel like running. You can’t fathom where the feeling comes from but it starts like a liquid running down your veins and soon you can’t stay in bed even for a second.

Feelings eat us raw. Only if you let them.

i really appreciate feedback, it motivates me tons and also tell me if you’d like to be tagged in this six part story :)

#sebastian stan #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan x you #sebastian stan imagine #monday the movie #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #letyoudown

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zodiacrant · 3 years

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🍉Astro Observations🍉

Hello everyone! Hope you’re doing great and feeling positive. I decided to write observations because I got a lot to do and I need a distraction 😅✌️. So, without further a-due here are my observations

(These may or may not apply to you, please keep an open mind and take it as entertainment rather than life changing facts. Please credit me if you’re going to use my work, or ask me beforehand.)

🍉People with Earth Mars or/and an Earth sign in the 1st or 6th house have very healthy and strong bodies

🍉Even though Pisces, Neptune and the 12th house is associated alot with dreams, Scorpio, Mars, Pluto and the 8th house can tell us about our nightmares and the theme of our dreams. (EX. I have a Scorpio Mars in the 9th house Sagittarius, which Chiron resides in as well, empty Virgo 8th house, Pluto in 10th house Scorpio, which Lilith also resides in Scorpio. Because of the high concentration of Scorpio and Virgo residing in the 8th my dreams have always been very vivd, chronological, and all in all a world of it self that I developed since childhood, as far as I can remember. I rarely get awakened by nightmares as well. Because of Mars in the 9th house alot in dreams I am either looking for something or on a journey to some place.)

🍉The houses where we have Taurus and Libra is what we’re envied for, while those ruled by Scorpio and Aries is what we envy in others and desire to be.

🍉The aspects Between Jupiter and other planets can tell us how friendly, open, stiff, fun loving, uptight and mean we’re. The more Squares the meaner a person may be, the more opposites with Jupiter would make the person paradoxical or “fake”. While Trine gives a more of a fun and carefree personality and conjunctions indicates being a “down ass bitch”.

🍉People can help us, influence us or teach us something regarding the house their Sun and Moon resides in our chart. (EX. If you have Cancer in the 2nd house, Cancer Sun, Moon and dominant can help you with your finances, spending habits and better your relationship with money and vices. This can either be in a friendly advice, leading by example, or you falling for a scheme they did but you’ll ultimately learn nevertheless.)

🍉I have noticed people with Air Venus have a salad taste in music. They would listen to slow music, very emotional and heart hitting then it is followed by an earth shattering EDM track, having a rave on their own.

🍉Staying on the topic of music, I noticed the sign of the 3rd house and the planets residing there effect what we seek in music alot. (EX. Me and my sister both have Fire signs over the 3rd house, so we prefer to listen to something upbeat, however, I have Sun, Mercury, Saturn and Jupiter there so music to me should be meaningful beyond belief, and great in everything from vocal, melody, writing and production. She on the other hand has Mars there and all she cares about is a good beat on the track.)

🍉Although Fire signs are viewed as very competitive, which they’re, it is rarely talked about how competitive Earth signs can be. They are as, if not more, competitive, the difference is that they’re more quiet about it.

🍉I never understood why people say that Scorpios are mysterious, dangerous, ominous sex driven demon spawns. I never met one and felt that in any way. I think they just read a room and people so closely and thoroughly that they might give a death stare here and there.

🍉I noticed that where we have Neptune we get a positive illusion from ourselves or others, while Pluto is where people get misconceptions and take negative first impressions from us. (EX. Someone with Neptune in the 7th house and Pluto in the 4th house might be subject to being slut shamed based on the illusion that their many relationships and beauty (Neptune in 7th) makes them easy, have family issues or are home wrecker (Pluto in 4th)

🍉People with Moon or Venus in “Fatherly” houses (9th and 10th) may have mothers who took on the role of the father as well.

🍉Venus in opposition or Square to Mars/Saturn/Pluto will have a hard time finding the right relationship or a healthy one.

🍉Even though Taurus and Libra are Venusian siblings and their opposites are Aries and Scorpio, the Martian siblings, each sign fits with others opposite. Taurus and Aries share natural and rawness in their energy, Taurus is the natural and effortless beauty and Aries is the natural warrior and leader. Both come as they are.

🍉Scorpio and Libra, on the other hand, are known for deception and putting up a facade. However, they’re also more logical thinkers and diplomatic begins, which make them more likable and capable in comparison.

🍉Mars in Leo are strong willed and capable but that lion can be tamed with love. As powerful as they can be, their weakness lies within their heart, as love and loyalty hold them back. This can be negative, as they will be pushovers for those they love, as well as, fight others battles, making them prone to getting used by others.

🍉Saturn can be a tough teacher but if you learn the lessons and convert it’s energy to your advantage you’ll basically become unstoppable.

🍉With that being said, I find it to be particularly difficult in social houses (3rd, 7th, 11th) It creates a wedge and a block between the native and their peers. This can be either as they cannot express themselves, are misunderstood, and/or alienated by others.

🍉The season of the sign over the house your Moon resides in can be very difficult or a period of many emotional roller coasters. Also, where does it hit the most.(Ex. I have my moon in the 11th house and let me tell you, February have been the month of some of the worst and best things to happen in my life. Many friends I have lost and met in February/Aquarius season)

🍉 The degree of that house can also indicate the general feel or emotion you’ll run through in that season.

🍉Someone asked me about my “page chart” which I got very confused over. I don’t know where they got the idea but I didn’t think it was worth a whole post but here is the chart of Zodiacrant (the page):

Made on October 17th 2018

Sun: Libra

Moon: Aquarius

Mercury: Scorpio

Venus: Scorpio

Mars: Aquarius

ASC: Cancer

MC: Aries

I hope it is of any use to the anon and any of you 😅.

Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed the observations. Please let me know your opinions and thoughts, share with us your own observations and rants.

Love you ❤️.

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junko-and-riri-domain · 4 years

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❦ home | ni-ki

�� ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: nishimura riki / ni-ki x reader ↬ ɢᴇɴʀᴇ: fluff | friends to lovers | requested ↬ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: none ↬ ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 2.9k oops ↬ ʀᴇQᴜᴇꜱᴛᴇᴅ ʙʏ: @onionhaseyeo ↬ ɴᴏᴛᴇ:

request was ni-ki fluff with a best friends to lovers storyline

i sorta wrote this in the car while I was out lol not sure if this is what you wanted but I hope you like it 💞(sorry if some parts are cringy 😭)

for those who read the tatts & cupcakes series the next chapter will (probably) come either later this week or early next week! since spring break is coming up next week i'm hoping to be able to spend more time writing :)

Entering what was now your 1st grade class, slight fear settled in the pit of your stomach since you were now the new kid at a new school. As your eyes landed on a certain brown-haired boy in the corner of the room, your fear disappeared slightly. He sat alone focused on his Nintendo Switch. Letting go of your mom’s hand, she called out your name but you practically ran to the boy. Merely looking at him gave you a sort of happiness that you’ve only felt whenever your favorite food was made for dinner.

Annoyance settled within Ni-ki as a face popped into his line of sight, distracting him from his game. Everyone in class knew better than to bother him. His eyes settled on you with a gaze that made you squeak and jump back slightly. He didn’t expect to see someone so… he wasn’t quite sure what the word was yet. Why did looking at you make him feel similar to the happiness he felt dancing? Instead of ignoring you, he took out the blue controller of his Nintendo Switch, silently handing it to you. You took the controller, fingers brushing against each other but too young to realize what the sparks meant.

“I don’t know how to play,” you said.

“I’ll teach you,” he answered. Going home that same day, you found out that you lived next door to each other.

In 4th grade, Ni-ki discovered that when he climbed the tree in his backyard, he was able to get to your room window without having to leave the house through the front door. It became a sort of “thing” between you. Your window was always unlocked, an invitation for him to come inside whenever he wanted. At 2 am one Saturday morning, you woke up from your sleep because of the sounds from your window opening. Sleepily, you lifted up your head to be met with Ni-ki. The moonlight shining on him with his hair all ruffled made you feel giddy inside.

“Did I wake you up?” he asked. With a slight roll of your eyes,

“No, you weren’t being loud at all.”

“I can’t sleep.”

“So you decided to make me not sleep?”

“It’s cold in my room.”

“It’s cold in my room too?”

“Let’s sleep together.”

It could’ve been that you were too tired to tell Ni-ki to get out.

Or it was because you were too cold and Ni-ki was shivering.

Whatever it is that it was, you moved to the other side of your bed, making space for him. He settled in, slight heat rushing to his cheeks as his head laid on one of your pillows. While the two of you have hugged and held hands, this was something different and both of your hearts were pounding in your ears. You fell asleep first, Ni-ki looking at you, breath slightly caught in his throat. Once again, there was the same feeling from when he first met you. Yet still, he didn’t know what it was nor the proper words to label it. Sharing the same bed because a source of comfort between you as Ni-ki realized that the feelings he couldn’t express in words, he could express through the sparks.

Towards the beginning of middle school, you started going to Ni-ki’s dance studio almost every day. You would watch him perform dances before any of his covers were uploaded online, your eyes were the first to witness Nishimura Riki in his element. He couldn’t deny how he loved the way your eyes lit up whenever he performed or how you’d clap and shout his name in support.

“Y/n-ah,” you heard as he sat next to you, taking a swig of water.

“Huh?” You looked at him, noting how his hair stuck to his forehead. Knowing that he didn’t like that feeling, you brought your hand up to his hair, fixing it for him.

Maybe it was because he was out of breath and his heart was already racing.

Maybe it was because your face was so close to his that the only thing he was able to focus on was you.

Maybe it was because your legs were touching since he always liked sitting as close to you as possible.

Whatever it was, there was that feeling again. And still, he couldn’t label it.

“What is it?” you asked, snapping him out of his thoughts. He cleared his throat,

“I’m gonna be an idol one day. When I become one, I want you to be in the front row of my concert.”

“You think we’re still gonna be besties when that happens?” you teased. He rolled his eyes,

“Obviously.”

Throughout middle school, Ni-ki unsurprisingly became popular with everyone. Most of the girls were captivated by how well he danced while the guys wanted to be him. He didn’t care, only sticking with you for the most part. You would eat lunch together at a hidden spot behind the back of the school that only you knew. In 7th grade,

“Ni-ki,” you said as you looked up at the sky, the blue color filling your view. It was nearing spring, the flowers were in bloom, and you found yourself wondering something.

“Yeah?” he replied, stealing one of your potstickers as if you didn’t save it for him.

“Jisoo-unnie told me she kissed Sean-oppa, and she said she didn’t like it. They’re gonna break up soon,” you said, referring to some kids in your class. The two were a “thing” together and while you knew what dating entailed, you’ve never experienced it yourself.

“And I care why?” You were nervous at what you were about to say but you weren’t going to back out now. Looking at him, slightly tilting your head,

“Do you wanna kiss me?” you asked. He choked on the potsticker, causing you to pat his back and give him water.

“Yah, is kissing me that bad?” you muttered to yourself.

“W-why?” he asked, unable to help himself from stuttering. With a shrug,

“I think I’d like it… if my first kiss was you.” You expected Ni-ki to tell you off. Or just flat-out leave. But instead, he leaned forward and as if it were instinct, your eyes fluttered shut. It lasted for a second, perhaps even less, but in that short time the sparks you felt whenever you were around Ni-ki intensified.

“There, we did it.” Your eyes widened as you looked at him, heat rushing to your cheeks despite the seemingly insignificant action. There it was again, that feeling that he just couldn’t name.

Ni-ki came into your room through the window at 3 in the morning to be met with the sound of your muffled sniffles and hated that he was the reason for it. He settled into bed with you,

“Get out you traitor,” you muttered. He sighed,

“I’m sorry, y/n-ah.”

“You’re really gonna leave tomorrow?”

“Technically, it’s later but-” interrupted by you throwing a pillow at him he let out a slight groan,

“Really?” he asked with a sigh.

“I’m gonna miss you.”

“I’m going to Korea, not dying.” You knew that he was doing it to fulfill his dreams of becoming an idol and you wanted him to. But last week, after seeing him with Lisa as his dance partner for the talent show, a fit of jealousy you’ve never known before settled within you. You didn’t tell him, how could you when you had no reason to be jealous? Instead, you smiled when his eyes met yours as you sat in the audience and clapped when he and Lisa got 1st place.

“Promise me we’ll video call? And that you won’t forget me.” He wiped your tears away with his sleeve,

“Promise me that you won’t go out with Sean?” he asked. Sean had asked you out after the talent show and you told him that you needed to think about it. Ni-ki was furious when he found out using the excuse that “Sean is a jerk” despite knowing damn well that he was jealous. But this wasn’t the time to be jealous because he was going to Korea. You brought up your hand, holding out a pinky. He did the same, both of your pinkies connected,

“I promise,” you said simultaneously.

While Ni-ki was in Korea and you were at home, you’d video chat and send text messages as often as you could. Over time, you started to realize that Ni-ki was starting to want one thing.

“I wanna go home, y/n,” he said one 4 am call.

“Ni-ki, you’ve sacrificed so much, you’re almost there. We believe in you.”

“I won’t be able to talk to you for a while.”

“Why not?”

“I’m going on a survival show called i-land. If I make it to the top 7, I’ll get to debut.”

“YAH, NISHIMURA RIKI WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME EARLIER?” you yelled, causing him to bring move his face away from his phone.

“It just never came up.”

“That’s great! Do your parents know?”

“You’re the first one I told.” That feeling that only Ni-ki seemed to give you whenever he did or said stuff like this made itself known. In the time that Ni-ki was gone, you realized that you missed him more than you should despite being best friends. It wasn’t until you had a talk with his sister that you realized, you had a crush on him.

“I miss you, Ni-ki. And I’ll be rooting for you the whole time.”

As cheers of joy filled your ears, the sound of your heart pounding was the only thing you could hear while what was on the tv screen registered in your head.

Ni-ki. Got. Fourth. Place.

Which meant that he was debuting.

Which meant that he was going to become an idol.

Which meant that his dreams were coming true.

You couldn’t stop the immense pride you felt and the shouts of joy that escaped you. Your best friend was debuting and you had the right to be proud of him.

During enhypen’s first concert, Ni-ki knew that he should’ve been happy. This was him living out his dreams, the same dreams that he spent countless hours up till the am talking to you about. Yet, unlike all those years ago, you weren’t here at his 1st concert. You couldn’t just hop on a plane to Korea due to current restrictions and your own schoolwork.

“What’s wrong?” Jay asked as he placed his hand on the maknae’s shoulder. Ni-ki looked at Jay,

“Y/n’s not here.” Though you weren’t aware of it, the other members knew you. Well, of you since Ni-ki talked about you often.

“Why don’t you call her?” Jay offered as a solution hoping to help in some way.

“Yeah, I will,” Ni-ki said.

Your phone rang and upon seeing the contact name, you answered it.

“You’re supposed to be performing, why haven’t you started yet?” you asked.

“How’d you know?” you smiled then changed the camera view to show your laptop,

“I’m streaming, dummy.”

“Illegally?” he asked.

“No comment.”

“Yah, you’ll get in trouble!”

“Good thing you’re on my side, yeah?”

“I wish you were here.”

“I am, just look at the camera and pretend it’s me.”

“It’s not the same.”

“I know, I miss you too,” you said with a sigh. Ni-ki heard his name being called,

“I gotta go.”

“Good luck and have fun!” you managed to say before the call ended.

At your high school graduation, you walked around looking for your family frantically texting Ni-ki’s sister asking where she was. It wasn’t until you crashed into what felt like a wall that you looked up, your hand rubbing your forehead. As your eyes met the man in front of you,

“Ni-ki?” He smiled, that feeling that he still couldn’t pinpoint after all these years infecting him once again.

“That’s all you have to say?” your arms wrapped around the now much taller boy instantly, practically jumping onto him which caused him to have to carry you like a baby koala.

“It’s been a year since we’ve last seen each other in person!” you muttered, your face resting in the crook of his neck, missing his scent.

“I literally FaceTimed you last night, you’re being so extra.”

“As if you’re not?” you countered.

“Only for you,” he said with a light chuckle.

“Wait, I’m heading to Korea in a few days, why are you here?”

“I couldn’t miss your graduation. I’m only here for a few hours before I have to head back.” He set you down though his arms stayed lingering on your waist.

“You spent money on a ticket just to be here for a few hours then to head back tonight?” your heart warmed at Ni-ki’s actions and you couldn’t hold back your smile.

“I know, I’m extra.” Just then,

“Babe!” you heard. You turned your head to be met with Sean, having forgotten him with Ni-ki here. You told Ni-ki of your current 2 month relationship and he was all for it, wanting you to be happy. At least, you thought so. Well, he did want you to be happy. He just preferred it if you were happier with him.

You landed in Korea a few days after graduation. Timing seemed to work out for you and Ni-ki since enhypen’s dorm was getting renovated, he needed a place to move to. Despite being offered to share a temporary apartment with Sunoo, he opted to get one with you instead. You were thankful for it, happy to be back with Ni-ki, and excited for the 2 of you to hangout like you used to. One particular night, Ni-ki’s practice was running late and you were having a bad day.

“What?” you answered annoyed at Sean’s call. Lately, you were starting to have a strong dislike towards him with how much of a jerk he was like whenever Ni-ki was around.

“Is Ni-ki there?” Sean asked, annoyed.

“Why does that matter?” You didn’t hear the door opening or Ni-ki coming inside.

“Because he’s stuck onto you like a leech.” Ni-ki froze at those words, unsure what to do. Sean wasn’t exactly wrong but you were best friends so it was natural for you to be close, right?

“What the hell do you know?”

“He’s been gone for so long and the first chance you get, you move to where he is. Does that make sense to you? Part of an idol group and can’t even-”

“Like hell, I’m gonna let you say stuff like that about Ni-ki.”

“I can’t even say my opinion?”

“Not when it’s wrong.” Sean scoffed,

“I’m your boyfriend.” The next 2 words that came out of your mouth came as a shock to you, Sean, and Ni-ki.

“Not anymore.” Ending the call and tossing your phone on the bed, you laid in bed looking up at the ceiling. Surprisingly, you didn’t cry. Ni-ki came into your room and laid on the bed with you,

“I heard,” he said.

“You were right all those years ago, Sean is a jerk.”

“What are you gonna do now?”

“What should I do now?”

“Go out with me.”

“On a date?”

“Mhm.”

“Why?”

“Because I asked you out.”

“You’re serious?”

“Mhm.” You weren’t quite sure how to respond since deep down you knew that your crush on Ni-ki never truly faded away. Things were different now and you were no longer kids in grade school who were unaware of what it meant for things like dating to happen.

“This could hurt us.”

“It could.”

“This isn’t funny.”

“I wasn’t joking.”

“Where would we go?”

“Wherever you want.”

“This isn’t how I’ve imagined you asking me out.”

“So, you’ve imagined me asking you out?”

“Shut up, you’re an idol there’s a ton of imagines about you.”

“The only imagines I care about are yours.”

“Fine, I’ll go out with you.”

It was a day just like any other day when Ni-ki realized what exactly the feeling was that made itself known from the first time he saw you up until now. You just reached 10 months of dating, still living together in Korea. You were on the couch trying to do some work when Ni-ki showed up all of a sudden, clearly wanting some cuddles and physical affections. So you put on a movie, grabbed some blankets, and settled in. You were mindlessly running your hand through his hair,

“It’s been so long since I’ve felt like I’m home,” Ni-ki whispered as he looked up at you. His hair was soft, like cotton candy that melted in your mouth at an amusement park.

“With all the cameras surrounding you and being in Korea without your parents so young, it’s only natural for you to be homesick.” He realized that the feeling that appeared from time to time was something that he could now name. Home.

“I’m home with you, y/n,” he whispered.

❦ written by riri | blog masterlist

requests are open! rules can be found here

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amazingmaeve · 4 years

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Tolerate it ↠ Fred Weasley

Fred Weasley Masterlist // Harry Potter Masterlist

Fred Weasley x Fem!Reader

Summary: Y/N and Fred had an amazing love story throughout Hogwarts. But things start to go sour after the 2nd wizarding war.

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Swearing, Pregnancy, Mentions of sex, panic attacks

AN: Hope this works out ok!

While at Hogwarts Y/N and Fred’s relationship was better than ever. They did everything together. Well not everything since George was with Fred as well.

Y/N would help him and George with their pranks and all of them would serve detention together as well.

Even though they hung around George a lot he had a life of his own which gave Y/N and Fred to spend sometime alone together. Which the two lovers appreciated.

Y/N and Fred got together in their 4th year when Fred finally gained the confidence to ask Y/N out. The three of them have been best friends ever since their 1st year when she got put her into Gryffindor.

Then when the Yule ball came around a couple years later Fred made a big deal on how he asked her out. There were fireworks that spelled out ‘Will you go to the ball with’.

As the words painted the sky Y/N accepted with tears in the corner in her eyes and then went to hug Fred.

In their 7th year Umbridge came to the school to ruin there lives.

Fred and Y/N couldn’t even hug without Umbridge splitting the two up. When they got the detentions Y/N would comfort Fred laying down with his head in the crook of her neck.

Y/N would stroke his back comforting him.

When Y/N got her first detention with the blood quil Y/N had avoided Fred not wanting him to be angry. He already cut her out of pranks not wanting her to get hurt.

Then Y/N finally decided to talk to Fred and he was livid when he found out. But with Y/N crying on the couch in the common room he pushed his anger aside to hug her trying to get he sobs to calm down.

Y/N eventually fell asleep on his chest and Fred took her to her dorm room and laid the girl down who was fast asleep.

Y/N had always supported the twins and their joke shop.

She told him “follow your dreams Fred,” which he did.

When Fred and George decided to leave Y/N was the first one to know. She offered to go with them but Fred knew how much her education meant to her and decided against.

Y/N was angry at first but slowly came around. There wasn’t that much of school left so she would be leaving soon.

The night before Fred and George left Y/N finally gained enough confidence to tell Fred she loved him. It was the first time she has ever said that to him.

Fred immediately kissed her and after he told her he loved her as well. That was the night the two lost their virginity’s.

Then the school year was over in what a felt like a whole year to Y/N.

For the next full year Y/N moved in with Fred and George and started working with them. Their relationship was growing stronger and stronger everyday.

“I love you,” Y/N whispered one night to Fred whole they were in bed. Her head was laid on his shoulder. The two loved birds were just finished from the 2nd time they’ve had sex that night. The two were extremely tired.

“Love you too darling,” Fred kissed her forehead and brushed some of her hair out of her face. “Will always love you forever,” He promised.

“Forever,” Y/N repeated nuzzling her head into his chest started to feel that tiredness come back. “Good night love,” she whispered.

“Good night darling,” Y/N could hear Fred just before she slipped into deep sleep.

Fred could feel a smirk on his face as he heard her snoring slightly. Fred knew this was the woman he was going to get married have kids. Fred couldn’t wait for the day.

Whenever they did something lovey dovey George would gag at his brother and girlfriend in a jokingly manor. The truth was that George loved having his best friend around and that his best friend and brother were hopelessly in love.

The whole year was like a fairytale for the both of them.

But sometimes fairytales don’t have good endings, and the 2nd wizarding war was going to be come crashing in on their little bubble they loved so much.

The wizarding war was the hardest things Y/N had to go through. With the fighting and death and the worst part was that Fred almost died.

Luckily he didn’t but it was a close call.

Y/N was the first one to find him passed out on the ground rubble all around him. Y/N immediately ran towards him grabbing his face while tears rolled down her cheeks.

“No no no,” Y/N whispered as she put her fingers on his neck to see if he had a pulse.

Y/N let out a sigh of relief when he did have and when he suddenly woke up.

“What happened why’re you crying love,” Fred groaned as he tried to get up and when he did Y/N wrapped her arms around him violently sobbing into his chest.

“I thought you were dead,” Y/N’s voice was muffled as she pressed her face into his chest not wanting to let him go.

“Can’t get rid of me love,” Fred jokes pulling Y/N up to stand. He wrapped his arms around the girl who’s sobs were dying down.

“Don’t joke around about this,” Y/N sniffed finally removing herself from his chest looking up at the red head who gave her a sad smile.

“Sorry but I’m right here and I’m fine,” Fred reassured Y/N wiping the tears from under her eyes.

Y/N didn’t know weather to believe him or not but right Fred was okay and that’s all that matters. He wrapped his arms around her once more and kissed the top of her head in a comforting manor.

In that moment nothing mattered Fred was alive and that’s everything.

Y/N and Fred were taking a few days off from work and she didn’t want to get special treatment and Fred thought the same. So she got a job at a book store.

For the next few everything was ok. Y/N and Fred got a flat for themselves and everything was settling in.

Fred was a little off though. Just little things at the time. He wouldn’t ask her about her day, he wouldn’t tell her he loved her before he left for work.

Y/N didn’t mention it to him thinking it was her just being clingy. And plus she didn’t want to add to his plate since the war just ended.

And he was getting nightmares to the point where he woke up screaming. On those nights Y/ would have get him out of sleep and let him sob into her chest as Y/N strokes the back of his neck comforting him.

Y/N’s tried bringing it up but he avoided the conversation. She just wanted to know what was going on in his head.

She didn’t bring it up because Y/N didn’t want to make things worse for him.

They talked less and less each day and Y/N thought Fred was like this all the time. That was until she went to go and visit him and saw him laughs with George.

Her heart swelled knowing he’s happy but her brain wondered why he wasn’t doing that with her. Y/N shook her head trying to get rid of the thoughts and was just happy he was happy.

The days went on and Y/N could feel her heart break and break even more. Fred barely smiled when he was at the flat.

At first Y/N thought Fred just needed space from her and she didn’t blame him for that. In relationships sometimes the two people needed to talk and be around friends, family.

Y/N felt like she couldn’t even feel his love and he was just tolerating hers.

But this has been going on for a couple months and Y/N could feel herself start to feel like she had no one to talk to. George was always around Fred and would feel bad if he knew she was talking to his brothers/family.

Like with her job Y/N’s boss was being a bit rude and she didn’t know who talk too.

Sometimes the loneliness got hard. With the effects of the war Y/N often get panic attacks where Y/N could feel the walls close in on her. She could feel her breathing start her faster and faster.

Then Y/N found a place where she could calm down. A beach where she would just listen to waves crashing and the animals making there noises.

But it didn’t solve her problems with Fred.

At the 3 month mark Y/N kept throwing up in the morning for 2 weeks straight. It was easy to hide it from Fred since the two barely talked and he left from work early.

Then she noticed she missed her period. Y/N and Fred rarely have sex since the war but one drunk night they had together must of been it.

Y/N wanted to be sure so she got a test from the wizarding world that would tell her if she was pregnant 100%.

As Y/N paced in her and Fred’s shared bathroom she began to think about how Fred was gonna take it. Fred always told Y/N he wanted kids but now she doesn’t know.

Would bringing a baby into the mix make things worse? Would Fred be mad at her?

When it was time to look at the test Y/N took a deep breath before picking up the test and let out a sad sigh.

Positive.

Y/N put her hand on her belly and smiled. She was already love her/him. This was something her and Fred created together.

Maybe this will help Y/N’s and Fred’s relationship.

Y/N looked at the time and noticed it was only 1. It was her day off. Y/N wanted to tell Fred immediately.

Y/N grabbed her coat with bubbling excitement as she strolled to Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes with a smile on her face. Even though the past months haven’t been good for her this was a good thing to happen to Y/N.

The shop was filled with loads and loads of customers when Y/N entered the shop. As her eyes roamed the store Y/N could see Fred talking with someone with a smile on his face.

Angelina Johnson.

Y/N didn’t hate the girl they were friends in school. But when Fred and Y/N were just friends he told her he had a crush on Angelina which made Y/N jealous.

But she could never hate Angelina. She was so sweet and Angelina even reassured Y/N that she didn’t like Fred.

But now Y/N could feel her stomach turn as Fred laughed at something Angelina said. Did he still have feelings for her? Is that why he was around as much?

Y/N felt tears brim her eyes as Fred looked so happy. And it hurt her so much to see that he wasn’t happy with her.

She bit her lip to stop herself from sobbing and breaking down.

Y/N rushed out of the shop with tears staining her cheeks as she ran home getting looks from strangers.

Once Y/N reached the flat Y/N took her jacket off and let out a sob as she laid down her and Fred’s bed.

Y/N curled up into a ball trying to get herself to calm down. She didn’t understand why Fred was treating herself this way.

Y/N thought she would be happy with him.

Y/N put her hand on her stomach where there would be a bump in months. She didn’t know what to do now.

Y/N must’ve cried for hours when she heard Fred yell “I’m home.”

Y/N looked at the clock and noticed it was 5 with a surprised look on her face. Y/N could hear Fred enter the bed room with a confused look on his face.

“What’s wrong love,” Fred asked and he sounded concerned. This was the first time she heard Fred sound like he cared for her in a while.

“Nothing,” Y/N scoffed rolling her eyes at the red haired boy.

“Odiously something’s,” Fred sat down on the foot of the bed by the side of the bed she was. He put his hand on her leg and gave it a squeeze to get her attention.

“What,” Y/N snapped sitting up to look up at him.

“Why’re you crying love,” Fred asked concern lacing his words as he cupped Y/N’s cheek wiping the tears away.

“Why do you care,” Y/N could feel more tears coming and with her being pregnant didn’t help her.

“Because you’re my girlfriend and I love you,” Fred softly replied.

“Why now?” Y/N questioned as he gave her a confused look. “Huh. For the last few months you have been avoiding me not talking to me and now you want to know how I feel,” She could feel anger fume in her as Fred looked at her.

“I don’t know what your talking about,” Fred avoided eye contact.

“Just stop lying you’re happy with everyone but me. Hell you’re even more happy with other girls than me,” Y/N huffed looking at the boy.

“I haven’t been talking to other girls,” Fred snapped.

“I saw you with Angelina laughing and smiling and talking,” Y/N whispered angrily.

“We were just talking and why were you at the shop,” Fred asked annoyance in his eyes.

He knows he’s being unreasonable and he knows he’s been distance. Fred didn’t mean to be but when other people asked how he was he could lie but not to Y/N.

“I wanted to tell you I was pregnant but you looked pretty busy,” Y/N had irritation in her voice as she shouted.

“What,” Fred asked flabbergasted with his eyes wide and his face full of shock.

“It doesn’t matter anymore,” Y/N huffed and went to lay down even thought it’s only 5:20.

But Fred doesn’t let her as he grabs her hand to pull her up into a hug. He hides his face in the crook of her neck missing the smell of her shampoo.

“I can’t believe it,” Fred smiled.

“Fred we’ve barely talked the last months and now you just won’t leave me alone,” Y/N snapped pushing him away.

“I’m so sorry love,” Fred looked at Y/N with tears coating his eyes.

“I just want to know why,” Y/N desperately asked feeling out of ideas.

“I couldn’t lie to you,” Fred blurted out.

“What,” Y/N asked as she scrunched her face up with confusion.

“When you ask me if I was fine I can’t say yes like with everyone else,” Fred whispered. Y/N looks up at him with sorrow in her eyes. “Ever since the war it feels like I can’t breathe sometimes and I wake up with nightmares bothering you.”

“Fred,” Y/N whispered reaching towards to touch his face. “You could’ve just talked to me,” She smiles at him.

“I didn’t want to bother you,” Fred rolled his eyes at himself feeling horrible for the way he treated the love of his life.

“You could never bother me with your problems,” Y/N removed her hand from his face grabbing his hand.

“Will you forgive me,” Fred asked hoping he could get another chance.

“Yes,” Y/N sighed and she loved the way his eyes brightened. “But we have to talk more often please,” She pleaded.

“Of course of course,” Fred rushed out and grabbed Y/N’s face to kiss her.

“I love you so much darling.”

“I love you too Freddie.”

#fred weasley series #fred weasley one shot #fred weasley smut #fred weasley headcanons #fred weasley imagine #fred weasley x oc #fred weasley fic #fred weasley x reader #fred weasley #harry potter x you #harry potter headcanon #harry potter blurb #harry potter oneshot #harry potter x oc #harry potter imagine #harry potter smut #harry potter x reader #harry potter #fred weasley blurb

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anika-ann · 4 years

Text

The 5 Times Steve Felt Betrayed - Pt.2

and the 1 Time He Felt Like He Was Betraying You

Type: mini-series to a series (part 1 & part 2 & Part 3), Avenger!reader AU.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader, Matt Murdock & reader

Word count: 2600

Summary: Bucky Barnes is a wanted man and you don’t have Steve’s back; ableit for good reasons. And then it gets worse.

Warnings: mentions of terorrist attack, mentions of violence and death, language, angst

A/N: This part of Melting Hearts’ verse follows the events of CA: Civil War, sometimes only referencing them and kinda expecting the readers to know what’s up ;)

Posted in double chapters (1st &2nd time, 3th & 4th, 5th+1)

Previous part

────── ·❆· ──────

3. (Running to Stand Still)

Back at the hotel after the funeral, another punch straight to his face came; all news channels were broadcasting about an attack in Vienna, exactly where the conference about The Sokovia Accords was taking place. Several people had been killed and the king of Wakanda had been among them.

And they had a suspect: James Buchanan Barnes.

Now Steve was hundred percent sure the world had gone crazy and the universe simply hated him.

“I have to go,” were the first words coming out of his mouth.

You sighed behind him, your fist against your mouth. This was officially the worst day ever.

“And I have to go to work,” Sharon uttered, watching the news as horrified as everyone else in the room. Except for Steve; for him, the tragedy was to be measured on a whole different scale.

“I… I should go to work too.”

Steve’s head snapped to you in shock, his heart positively stopping. Were you… were you gonna come after Bucky too? After Steve’s best friend? Who had clearly nothing to do with this, because he had disappeared from the face of Earth and was definitely not bombing conference rooms with the highest representatives of 117 countries?

Your eyes were a sea of regrets and dilemmas when his accusing glare met with them. It mollified him a little – after all, you didn’t know Bucky. Sure, you heard stories about him, every single one Steve could remember because you were willing to listen, but you weren’t even close to truly knowing his persona.

“I understand, Steve. He’s your friend. He’s done terrible things, but you believe in redemption. I love that about you. And you know I trust your judgement. If you believe this wasn’t him… I trust you. But… I don’t know if I should come with you. With all the tension building up, if I don’t show up at work…”

He pressed his lips into a thin line, not liking it at all; but you were right. They had better chance at getting to Bucky – who might not even be in Vienna for all they knew – if it was just him and Sam coming. Lower profile.

Also, it kinda meant a lot that you were still putting so much trust in his judgement, at least when it came to people’s character.

“You’re right. You should go with Sharon. We don’t know what happens, even if we succeed. I… I can’t ask you to come with me.”

Your expression shifted into a gentle one, the worries softening into something much more affectionate. It surprised him to be honest – and he instantly felt bad for thinking ill of you. He knew you were a kind person. Why was he letting the circumstance make him doubt it?

“You could, Steve. And if I believed I would be helpful, I would come. I know we don’t agree on everything… but the only reason why I’m not coming along is because I believe it’s a way to make it easier for you.”

He gulped, taking a hesitant step towards you. The moment you noticed the tinniest movement of his arms as if he was debating himself whether he should at least hug you goodbye, you threw your smaller arms around him, enveloping him in a warm embrace. Steve closed his eyes at the feeling, welcoming the indescribable relief at the little piece of familiarity in this terrible mess. Having you in his arms always felt right.

“Good luck, Steve. Please, be careful,” you muttered into his suit and he let himself to have a few more moments of peace, pulling you closer so your body could almost merge with his. He took a deep breath with his face nuzzled in your hair, enveloped in everything that was you.

No matter the dispute you two had going on, it felt good to know some things didn’t change and he could find a support in you in the time of crisis after all.

────── ·❆· ──────

Steve barely managed to step on the breaks and swerve the wheel before he would crash into the debris in full speed. He jumped out of the car, having to sprint in front of the vehicle so it wouldn’t smashed him against the road since it overturned and was now coming his direction uncontrollably.

His escape turned into a chase when he saw a person in what could be a costume (an armour?) of a wild black cat standing over Bucky’s lying figure.

And then he caught a glimpse of a movement coming from above.

You landed gracefully next to the tangled mess of limps of Bucky and the assailant, a mass of ice sending the strange figure flying off Steve’s friend. Steve stopped abruptly since he had no one he wanted to throw off now and for a second, he allowed himself to breathe in. He had no idea where the hell had you come from, but he was eternally grateful. And a little bit scared for you, because he had seen what the metal claws of your opponent could do.

Your hand hit the ground, walls of thick ice shielding you all from cars coming from both directions, slightly curved on the tops to cover you from the sky where the flapping of the approaching helicopter was coming from. The panther figure was not included in your little shelter.

Bucky climbed to his feet, staring at you with his eyes wide in shock. Steve wasn’t any less shocked to be honest – but unlike his friend, he was more baffled at you materializing out of nowhere than your powers.

You all heard the sirens approaching rapidly from behind the icy shield, just like you could hear scratching of the metal claws against your barrier reaching tens feet to your right and left. Steve quickly looked around for the quickest and safest escape route as the loudspeaker-powered voice almost deafened you all.

“You’re surrounded-“

Steve sprung to his right, but he didn’t manage a single step. Columns of ice trapped his legs from the ground, reaching above his knees, his shield knocked out of his hands as he was hit by a burst of your powers. He gasped when he saw Bucky unable to move as well and he shot you a desperately perplexed look.

The wall around them melted just enough for you to come through with your hands above your head – about forty riffles immediately aimed at you, together with Rhodey’s repulsors. You sought a leader of the bust and since you didn’t find anyone else, you spoke to the man in the metal suit.

“They surrender,” you exclaimed firmly. “Don’t shoot.”

Steve glared at your back in disbelief, his adrenalin spiking to dizzying levels. What the hell did you just do?!

Rhodey nodded and you glanced at the man in a black costume, only to see no other than the son of the recently deceased king of Wakanda. Prince T’Challa.

Steve honestly thought this was the weirdest nightmare he had ever dreamed. Except it wasn’t a dream; the walls of ice slowly went down, revealing just how many men were ready to shoot at him and Bucky from both the front and the back.

You slowly lowered your hands, putting them behind your back so the agents could cuff you as well. But Rhodey just patted your back to let you know they were not gonna arrest you.

“Good job, kid.”

You grimaced and looked up at Steve. His eyes glinted behind his mask as he watched you with an emotion you certainly didn’t want to decode.

The shock of the Black Panther revealing his face was nothing. The icy needles cutting into his skin and muscles were nothing.

What burned him the most was your betrayal. Yes, you had iced T’Challa away, but you also stole their last chance to run – and what was worse, you had used your powers against him. Against him. You had done something he had thought terrified you, the memory of giving him a frostbite still haunting you. But here you were, doing what you had done so many years ago – except this time deliberately.

He saw the tears in your eyes, the desperate and torn expression on your face as the agents approached him and you let the ice around his hands melt so he could be cuffed. Then his legs were free too, but he couldn’t care less, feeling frozen from the inside.

What Steve couldn’t see was the three different snipers positioned at the edge of the pillars previously aiming at each of them, now with their guns cracking under the extremely low temperature, and their hands buried in ice. What he hadn’t seen before you let the walls crumble, was the number of men with itchy fingers, now lowering their weapons because the suspects were secured. Blinded by the anger, he couldn’t see a lot of things.

He couldn’t see you had just saved their lives.

────── ·❆· ──────

4. (Poisoned Words)

Steve knew – he had known the moment you hadn’t gone after him when he had stormed out of the room after the fight with Tony. He had known you had made up your mind a long time ago – and not even the idea of Wanda being practically held prisoner had changed your spirit. He had known when he hadn’t seen you fight after the psychiatrist did something to his best friend – neither the brainwashed escaping Bucky, neither anyone else at the facility.

Yet it still broke his heart when you hadn’t showed up at the airport with Sharon, who had brought their gear. The shield. Falcon’s wings. He should be grateful to Agent Carter, but it still felt as if she had come empty-handed. She didn’t bring the most important item. You. But that wasn’t on her.

“She’s staying with Wanda Maximoff. Keeping her company,” Sharon said simply as if she guessed Steve’s thoughts and he nodded hastily, pretending the incredibly tight knot in his stomach didn’t exist. That he could breathe. That he didn’t want to scream, but could easily draw enough air into his lungs to do so. That he didn’t feel tears prickle in his eyes.

“Thank you, Sharon. I owe you.”

“I’ll put it on the list. Right under this,” she said softly, pulling out an envelope from the inner pocket of her jacket.

Steve sucked in a breath as she held it out for him. Mentally, he let out a sarcastic laugh. A letter. You had left him a letter. Just words. Just like when you had left him the last time when you abandoned him, even for a whole different reason. The last time, you were protecting him; this time, you were protecting yourself.

Steve wondered if this was you laughing to his face. He didn’t even want the stupid piece of paper.

“Thanks, but… if it’s from the person I think it is, I don’t want it.”

That was a lie.

He did want it. He itched to have it. He craved for it, because he would love to hear what you had to say to all this. To him. Were you trying to justify your actions? How? Was it because you truly believed you were so bad in your core? Because your insecurity about you keeping control over your powers rooted so deep? Or because you didn’t believe he was doing the right thing, you didn’t believe his judgement anymore? Were you thinking he was not doing the right thing, saving a man, who had been turned into a weapon against his will, becoming just a tool?

It didn’t matter. You weren’t here. Whatever you had to tell him, it didn’t seem to matter, because you leaving him in lurch hurt so fucking badly.

He almost jumped when a small hand took his and he snapped from his trance, seeking the point of contact with his gaze. Sharon gently uncurled his fingers, pressing the envelope to his palm. When he met her eyes, they burned with sincerity and seriousness.

“She was very desperate for me to get this to you. She sought me out – because she figured I would come to your aid. Don’t underestimate her, Steve. Don’t judge her. I believe that the letter is truly important.”

Steve sighed, but tugged the envelope into the pocket of his jacket, planning on reading it never. Probably. Maybe someday. Who knew what was next. Who knew if he’d live that long.

Sharon smiled at him reassuringly and helped him to move the equipment to the trunk of their distinctive get-away car. The letter stayed in his jacket, burning with the tinniest hope. Maybe Clint would bring you along with Wanda, since you were staying with her. Maybe…

He didn’t.

He gave Steve an apologetic and pitying look instead; it only made the supersoldier sick. Because now, he was nothing but sure you didn’t give a damn about either him or doing the right thing.

And he had no clue how he had never seen it before. It almost looked like he should be grateful that you hadn’t stopped Clint and Wanda from wandering off at least. God, he had been so stupid—

“Steve-“ Wanda started from behind Clint, her voice sounding urgent, but from her expression, Steve could tell the matter she wanted to talk about; he just shook his head.

“Good to see you, Wanda. Thank you for coming,” he said with a strained smile, pushing the thoughts of you to the back of his mind. They didn’t have time for his self-pity now.

She returned the smile hastily, but opened her mouth again to speak.

“Please don’t. Whatever it is, I don’t want to hear it.”

“But you should-”

“Not now,” he opposed sternly, regretting his tone when Wanda winced. “Please,” he said, softer. “Not now, Wanda.”

Clint’s gaze flickered between them, unsure whether he should intervene. Honestly, he wasn’t quite certain what was happening between you and Steve, or how much bad blood the Accords poured between the two of you. He had noticed what could be a brief wordless exchange between you and Wanda at the compound and assumed you had wanted Wanda to send your sorry to Steve. He could understand why Steve didn’t want to hear it, especially now, but that was as far as his knowledge of the situation went.

“Clint, thank you. I wouldn’t call you if I had another choice,” Steve turned to him, a tiny grateful smile on his lips. His face spoke volumes about a lot of things, but Clint could tell the gratitude was genuine. He accepted his hand and shook it.

“Hey, trust me, you’re doing me a favour. And I owe a debt.”

Steve just nodded in acknowledgement when he noticed the tiny gesture towards Wanda.

“Thank you both for having my back.”

“It was time to get off my ass. I know where my loyalty lies. And I’m not the only one,” the Scarlet Witch commented lowly.

It earned her a raised eyebrow from Clint when Steve drew in a sharp breath.

Fuck, that hurt.

Steve would think it was just a slip, but the Sokovian tilted her head to side almost mockingly as if she knew exactly what she had said and was provoking him on purpose. Challenging him for whatever reason. Steve swallowed against the lump suddenly grown in his throat.

“What about our other recruit?”

And with that, the matter of you not coming along was dropped.

Steve wished he could get rid of the thoughts about you and his feelings just as easily.

────── ·❆· ──────

Part 3 (the fifth time and the +1)

────── ·❆· ──────

Thank you for reading!

#fanfiction #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x you #steve rogers imagine #captain america x reader #captain america x you #captain america imagine #steve rogers fanfiction #melting hearts #avenger reader #mcu #marvel #5 times steve felt betrayed #anika ann

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jungle321jungle · 3 years

Text

Your Words Fill The Space Between Us

The published letters that detail the romance that changed the kingdom.

~~~~

Aka Roman and Janus send each other letters

Taglist: @angels-and-dreams @ollyollyoxinfree @gattonero17 @chumo-cookie @dreaming-always @anxiety-ismy-name @mrbubbajones @janustheliar @why-do-you-care @hogwarts-my-love

Ao3 - Masterlist

Your Words Fill The Space Between Us

September 18th

I received the gift you sent with your previous letter, and I wanted to ensure I thanked you for it- despite how bold it was. But I suppose that has always been something I liked about you- even if my heart very nearly stopped when Mother asked who the flowers and watch had come from. I was forced to give her the flowers (but I kept the watch for myself) after telling her it came from a businessman I work with (I am blessed that she didn’t ask which of them it was). Though I was disappointed to give up the flowers. I don’t even remember mentioning my favorite flowers and yet you knew anyways. Are you using your power for useless things again? I hope not, you have enough on your plate as it is without worrying about what I like and dislike. But if it truly crosses your mind do know that what I like are your letters and the rare moments we spend together.

But enough about that, more importantly I will be aiding my father this year so I too will get the pleasure of attending the New Year’s Ball. I hope when I arrive you can finally show me the spot you’ve described with the view of the whole city.

~~~~

September 23rd

I am glad my present to you was received well. As to your comment regarding whether or not I was using my power correctly, all I must say is that if it is my power I shall use it as I please. If that happens to be to determine your favorite flowers so be it, my servants are paid accordingly. Also, once I get more power laws change and I get you- so I truly see no downside.

I cannot wait until you get here, I will show you all my favorite spots here to view the scenery and my favorite places in town to shop and eat. We’ll need to think of an excuse for why we spend so much time together though, but we have the time to work out a story.

Speaking of, with this letter I am sending you a book. It’s one I just found by chance and I fell in love with instantly, I’m sure you’ll do the same. Be sure to send me your thoughts when you finish.

~~~~

October 17th

You are utterly horrific. Sending me a book that plays with my emotions like that. I wouldn’t have gotten so invested if I just knew she was going to die like that! Not even from her disease but from an assassin that’s horrible. Just horrible.

I stayed up to finish the last few chapters and now it’s late and I’m crying, but I don’t want the maids to hear. You’re horrible. And to prove it I’m sending you a book.

~~~~

November 2nd

I truly am dastardly aren't I? I laughed a lot at your letter, it was the exact response I was expecting. You never disappoint dearest. As for the book you sent me I unfortunately am yet to open it. I wasn’t planning on sending this letter until completing it, but things have gone bleak in terms of negotiations. I’ve been spending all my time locked in my office taking over my father’s daily work in addition to my own while he tries to calm things with the other delegations. At present I should actually be overlooking some documents, but I feel if I do I will truly lose my mind.

I miss you.

I know that if you were just here sitting beside me I would instantly feel energized.

At least the ball is next month.

~~~~

November 4th

I doubt you have even received my last letter as I write this, but I must tell you to withhold sending other letters. I’m not entirely sure why, but Father is suspicious of something and is having mail checked.

I’ll send word when the coast is clear.

~~~~

December 22nd

My father has found whatever it is he is looking for, so we should be fine now. But that did take longer than I thought. So much has happened in the last few weeks.

Mother’s sudden illness, and sister’s broken engagement, not to mention that the countries on either side of us have declared war and both are begging for us to pick a side. It’s beyond tiring. Father still insists upon holding the ball though, so I’ll see you then. I wonder if this letter will even reach you before you depart for the capital.

I hope I’ll have the time to show you around as I promised.

~~~~

December 27th

I was about to respond to your first letter when the second arrived. You must’ve sent one of your fastest messengers. As for your third and most recent letter I received it just before climbing in the carriage. We are staying in the Barony tonight, which is where I write this letter from. But I will wait to have it sent to you until I reach the capital.

I too hope we can meet up during the festivities, at least for a minute and even better if that minute was spent alone so we can speak freely. But please, remember that you mustn't push yourself too hard.

~~~~

December 31st

There is a small balcony west of the ballroom and past the room where the ladies rest. It’s secluded. We can use our usual signal, I’ll meet you there.

~~~~

January 1st

I cannot describe how amazing it was to simply hug you again. And as I said before it was wonderful to see how your dancing had improved. I’m sorry that our time together was so short, I will send you word as soon as I know when I can slip out of the palace. Maybe, two nights from now I can try? That’s when the commoners set up an array of stalls with games and prizes. Would you like to go?

~~~~

January 2nd

Of course I want to go! We will go and I will beat you at every game! But I don't have any clothes that would help me blend in. Also, how do you intend to disguise yourself?

~~~~

January 3rd

With this letter are clothes for you to wear tonight. I’ll meet you outside the gates by the large willow about an hour after dinner. And as to your question, I will be wearing a blonde wig.

~~~~

January 4th

You cheated. That’s the only way you could have won so many games. I don't care that you said you didn’t, you most certainly did.

~~~~

January 5th

You are free to believe what you like.

For the closing ball tomorrow we can meet at the same spot as the first night. And I have a surprise for you.

~~~~

January 6th

I swear I didn’t know.

I am so sorry. I didn’t know, I saw you crying and run off and I’m sorry that I couldn’t run after you. I’m sorry. Can I come by so we can talk?

~~~~

January 8th

You’re leaving tomorrow right? Please respond so I can see you before you do.

~~~~

January 9th

I understand you’re mad at me, and I won’t even ask you not to be. But I will ask that you at least try understand the position I am in.

And I hope you travel safely home.

~~~~

January 16th

Did you really not know?

~~~~

January 19th

I didn’t. My father sprung it on me, the same way he did to every party guest. He didn’t even tell me which nation he was leading towards in terms of support, much less this.

~~~~

January 22nd

Will you marry her?

~~~~

January 25th

I don’t want her. I want and I love you.

~~~~

January 28th

That’s not what I asked. I asked if you will follow through with the engagement.

~~~~

January 31st

I don’t have a choice. I thought I could spend more time living as the Crown Prince before I could reject the role and leave the crown to my brother. I thought I could do that if my parents ever brought up marriage- but this is more than a marriage. It’s war.

If I don’t marry the Delphine our trade routes are shut off- and since we already cut ties with the empire by my father announcing the engagement. If I reject this for you, I put the whole kingdom at risk. I… I don’t know if I can do that.

~~~~

February 4th

Surely there’s another way! Why can’t she just marry your brother?

~~~~

February 10th

Do you truly think I haven’t looked for one? My hands are tied. The only possible thing I could do to even have you near me is to bring you here as an advisor or the like when the time comes. I can find a way if it’s that.

~~~~

February 14th

No. I will not stand to the side just watch as you dance and hold hands with her for the public’s morale. I would rather die than that.

~~~~

February 19th

Please don’t be so dramatic. I am trying all I can think of in between my hectic schedule. But if you truly don’t like my efforts tell me, do you have any brilliant ideas?

~~~~

February 25th

Don’t mock me, Your Highness. You’re not the one who has had his heart stepped on repeatedly. You’ve been making me promises for years- am I not allowed to be upset when I find out that they’re hollow?

~~~~

March 2nd

You’re unbelievable. Feel free to sulk all you wish, meanwhile I need to continue my regular duties, prepare a wedding, and prepare for war.

~~~~

March 5th

War? I thought our kingdom was just to supply aid.

~~~~

March 8th

I’m getting married to the daughter of a nation who declared war upon the empire. Of course war will come to our borders as well.

~~~~

March 23rd

Father got the invitation to the wedding this morning. I wanted to tear it to shreds. Have you truly thought of nothing yet? Something other than me working for you?

~~~~

March 29th

I’m sorry to say I haven’t. In the months since the ball and start of the war I haven’t gotten anywhere with my Father- and Mother’s decline isn’t helping.

~~~~

April 1st

What? I had heard she was getting better?

~~~~

April 6th

That’s just the rumor I spread to redirect attention. She’s getting worse if anything.

~~~~

April 10th

I am so sorry.

~~~~

August 12th

It’s been a long time since my last letter, I’m not sure how many months. I guess I should follow custom and congratulate you on the wedding even if I am late. You at least looked very nice on your wedding day. You’ve truly perfected that fake smile.

I’m sorry for how I acted when I heard about your engagement. I know you didn’t want this either. And I know it’s late for this, but I’ll come work for you if that’s what it takes. The more I try to pretend that I don’t love you- the harder it gets- and the more it hurts.

~~~~

August 17th

Lord Roman Regis,

Please do not waste my time and deny that you are the author of the letter I just read. I intend to keep this letter brief. I do not wish to know what kind of relationship you have with my husband, but I must request that it ceases. My husband serves as a figure to both nations, and he cannot have anyone dragging him down. Especially not someone of a lower stature.

If you contact him again, there will be consequences.

Crown Princess Delphine Ekans

~~~~

August 22nd

Crown Princess,

Your Highness I apologize for any misunderstandings I may have caused, but please speak to Janus. I’m sure he will explain everything.

Lord Roman Regis

~~~~

August 26th

Lord Roman Regis,

To think a measly count’s son can not only tell me what to do, but he can be bold enough to refer to my husband without a title. I already asked you not to drag my husband down, and by doing so you have disregarded my warning.

Do remember that you have brought this upon yourself Lord Roman.

Crown Princess Delphine Ekans

~~~~

September 5th,

Ro,

You know all those times I told you to just get out there and just love the prince if you actually love him? Well this is not what I meant. I mean like you should speed up that “perfect” plan you two always talked about, not that you should wait so long that he got married. And definitely not so long that his wife outed your “despicable crush on the married crown prince”- however I can say that the papers are currently god tier with gossip. I have been asked for interviews like four times and I love it. Oh and have some faith in me, I didn’t talk to them- for long.

Anyway, lover boy should be able to help you out of this, right?

The better you,

Remus

~~~~

September 10th,

Remus,

Sometimes I hate you, and then when I remember we shared a womb I hate you even more. But even so, I thank you for being the one “calm” person about this. Mother and Father (mainly Mother) have been up in arms about how big of a disgrace I am, and just about every noble in the kingdom is in agreement. It doesn't matter that just about every unmarried woman pines after the Crown Prince even after he got married, because when a man does it- because that Witch known as the Crown Princess publishes my letter- I’m somehow a deviant.

I haven’t left the manor since word got out. And I am just flooded with letters from friends and other nobles, but truthfully I am too scared to read them. Maybe I’ll have a trusted maid read them and pick out the kind ones, but I am not sure.

I have no clue what is going on with Janus at the moment. I am yet to receive anything from him- most likely due to the Crown Princess’ interference. I wish I could know what was happening behind the palace doors... I truly do.

This is why I just wanted to run off to somewhere else, but Janus was confident he could change the laws for us and then we could go live quietly somewhere... I wish things were that simple.

I rather not discuss this anymore truthfully. I'd like to have a normal conversation again. So tell me, do you have any stories to tell of your travels? Reading them would prove far more interesting than anything here.

The best twin,

Roman

~~~~

September 18th,

Remus,

Given I am yet to receive a response from you, so I assume you are on the move once more, but I thought I should send you an update letter before you hear the filtered version from word of mouth.

I am currently being escorted to the palace. I know some will think I am to get some sort of punishment, but Janus sent one of the guards with a verbal message that he is handling this in his own way. I have no choice but to place my trust in him. Mother was still worried about it, Father interestingly seemed to be rooting for me but we didn’t get to talk more about it. But I know I will see Janus soon and that thought comforts me. Even though I know his wife will be close behind.

I’ll keep you updated on what transpires. But I still expect traveling stories. Like honestly, what was the point of you joining the navy if I don't get to read any seafaring adventures? You aren’t fighting in the war so surely there must be pirates or something? Or some stories about sirens and other such creatures? I want to read them all.

And in return you can have me as your wonderful twin.

The twin that matters,

Roman

~~~~

September 21st

Roman,

It almost seems strange to be able to address you by your name in a letter, but I like it all the same. I am very sorry for my silence and for Delphine’s actions. The former was a result of a few things: the first being my traveling to the battle front. I'm sorry I did not tell you prior to leaving, I did not want you to worry, but... I spent some time in battle. I was on my way back when your letter reached the palace and Delphine had taken it before I knew it even existed. Then upon my return I was busy dealing with Mother’s health and my war reports- I had intended to write other excuses here but truthfully I was scared of your reaction. I was scared that you would have just given up on me- on us. I had written and thrown away over 20 letters that I started without finishing before Delphine handed me a paper with a letter I had never seen published on the front page.

We had a long argument, about her not having the right to do such a thing to a “friend” of mine. It took a lot of time to cool things down and convince everyone to allow you to come here. Your father had sent me a letter saying he was worried for your safety, and that was enough to pull them to my side to bring you out of harm's way.

I am sorry I cannot currently go to see you, right now everyone believes I am just trying to clean up a mess that my wife blew way out of proportion and going to you would only start rumors. The knight who will deliver this letter- Virgil- can be trusted. He may huff and roll his eyes, but he does not pry and will not look at the contents of the letters. As he put it, he will only do the bare minimum of his job, and being curious and nosy takes too much energy. So you can send your letters through him. I swear I will figure something out.

In the meantime I hope your quarters are comfortable, let me know if they are not.

Yours,

Janus

~~~~

September 22nd,

Janus,

You are an absolute idiot. You went to war, without telling me? What if something had happened to you? Are you crazy? No of course you are. You’re absolutely insane- and I am so so glad that you are alright.

It has been strange being here in the palace, I don't often leave my room due to the looks servants give as I pass by, but my room is comfortable and Virgil makes good conversation. He certainly doesn’t have the demeanor of most knights which is enjoyable. Reminds me a bit of my twin in a way- but I think both would disagree.

Regardless, I have a request for you even though I know you will disagree. I wish to speak with the Crown Princess. I do not know how much you have told her, so I can keep things sounding one sided if you wish- but I want to speak to her. If you don't give an answer I like, I will simply write to her myself.

Roman

~~~~

September 22nd

Roman,

And you call me crazy. Why would you want to meet with the woman who ruined your life? You wrote in the same letter that even servants are scorning you- I will have Virgil report to me who they are so they can be fired immediately- and yet you wish to speak with her? I will not allow it.

Janus

~~~~

September 24th

Janus,

As you read this the Crown Princess should be receiving her letter as well. I kept it simple, just asking for tea with the promise of an apology. But before I schedule a time to meet with her, I want to know... do you like your wife?

Roman

~~~~

September 25th

Roman,

Delphine showed me the letter and she gave some unkind phrases to go with. I told her not to accept your invitation- but I think she wants to even more now. As to your question, I don’t know what I think of her. I hate what she has done to you, but I do not hate her (entirely) as a person. I admire the fact that she will go to great lengths to help her people, but I certainly do not like her. Or perhaps it’s better to say that I like her in the way one likes a business partner? Appreciating when they get the job done well, and hating when they don't. I am not sure if that answers your question, but I do not know how else to better phrase my thoughts.

Janus

~~~~

September 27th

Janus,

I met the Second Prince yesterday. He came to my room and chided me for not getting enough sunlight and fresh air, before he ordered me to accompany him to the gardens. He seems far too kind to be of royal blood. Oh, while he denies it I definitely say Virgil stealing glances at the Prince. It was quite adorable actually.

I am laughing to myself as I write this and he looks on, it is most amusing. Do tell you brother to visit again.

Roman

~~~~

September 28th

Roman,

Patton is definitely too pure for this palace, if he wasn’t the spitting image of father I would think he was illegitimate. As for him and Virgil... I rather not speculate, no one and I mean no one is good enough for Patton.

In more important news I will be accompanying Delphine to your tea tomorrow. At least for the beginning of it. Seeing you two together with my own eyes is the only way I can be sure someone won't attack the other.

I’ll see you then love.

Janus

~~~~

September 29th

Janus,

Since I am sure you are worried about what I and Crown Princess Delphine spoke of in your absence here is a few notes about what we discussed:

The fact that I have loved you since our academy days

That my feelings won't change no matter what she does

That I don't want anything negative to befall either country

She did not once ask about your thoughts or feelings, they seemed relevant to her

She doesn’t want me near you. She says it will ruin the reputation she is building

I do not know what this means for us, but at the very least I think I understand what you meant about having a business partner relationship.

Roman

~~~~

October 2nd

Roman,

Good to know your talk with her was for mostly nothing. She has more recently gone to my father about some scheme to boost morale and he seems to be on board. So she’s at least distracted for the time being.

In surprising news Mother wishes to meet you. She’s probably the one person who knows everything simply because she sees through every lie I tell. But thankfully she never questions me on the truth. You’ll receive an official invite from her soon.

Janus

~~~~

October 4th

Janus,

Your mother is one of the kindest people on the planet. She kept fretting over if I was okay, and meanwhile she is the one bedridden. And you were certainly right about her knowing the whole story, because it is clear she is rooting for us! She told me she just wants you to be happy, and marrying for love is something she wished you could do. She did also say she wanted to give the Crown Princess a “stern talking to”, and I think that would be hilarious to watch.

Roman

~~~~

October 14th 4th

Logan,

This year has been an absolute shitshow. Have you even heard what’ss going on? Because I haven’t heard a word fom you. But I suppose what else should I expect from the disaprearing count? I just want to marry for love and be done with the fucking war? Is that so bap? Delphine is making this hard, but I know she just wants things to be not war… it’s all so annoying. What should I do lo?

Your only friend,

Jans

~~~~

October 5th

Mother and Father,

I want you to know that despite all that has occurred I am well. I have gotten a chance to speak to the Crown Prince and Princess, and the Queen. Currently the Crown Prince intends to release rumors regarding the Duke’s family (which may or may not involve treason so please pull any assets out quickly) to stop the month long gossip about me. Once that happens, I am not sure if I will be staying here or returning home but I will let you know once I figure it out. Living in the palace certainly isn’t bad after all. The food is to die for. I may try to lengthen my stay just because of it. So don’t worry about me, worry about Remus who just sent me a letter detailing too many things about pirates that would make you cry in shame.

The lesser of two evils,

Roman

~~~~

October 8th

Crown Prince Janus Ekans,

I was quite surprised to get your letter and even more surprised by it’s contents. I have told you multiple times it is not becoming of a prince to send letters written in a drunken stupor.

Yes, I am well aware of the gossip in the capital that you have involved yourself in. But I saw no need to send you a letter of my own thoughts when I am not involved in your marital issues. If you were simply writing to me to rant and rave, then your letter was received. And I would like to say that I do have other friends.

Regardless, please expedite the report enclosed, it is part of our winter preparations.

Count Logan Ackroyd

~~~~

October 9th

Janus,

I went into town with Prince Patton (who gave me permission to call me by his name) and Virgil today. We went in disguise of course, but we got to go to a great many shops and try some good food. I bought you a present while we were out, but with the current circumstances I don’t believe I should send it with this letter. If you ever find the time to drop by my room please come and get it.

As we went about I couldn’t shake two thoughts from my mind, the first being that fall looks so different here in the capital, and the second was that it’s been nearly a year since we promised to do such things together. I still await the day where you show me your favorite spots.

I hope those times come soon.

Roman

~~~~

October 10th

Roman,

I too hope for the same, and I would love to see what it is you got me, but we have an obstacle at present. A few actually. While the war is finally moving in our favor, I fear that the Duke’s situation is less clear than I thought. In addition to that, Father wants you sent home to the county sooner than later. And if that’s not enough, Delphine wishes to speak with you before you leave- I will do my best to convince her otherwise. I’m not sure when they want your departure to be, I’m currently negotiating and thankfully Patton is on my side.

Janus

~~~~

October 11th

Ro,

So in my quest to find exciting stories for you I may or may have not taken a cutlass to the leg. It nearly got cut clean off! Or well that’s the story I’ll tell at least. Anyway, I’m gonna be home for a while so you should come visit your dearest twin. And as for get well presents there’s nothing better than basically all the sweets in the capital so I’ll take those please and thank you. Oh and buy me some of those racy novels you pretend you don’t read. Mother saw the word “tentacle” then burned mine.

Your horribly wounded and now sickly and pathetic twin,

Remus

~~~~

October 12th

Janus,

I heard from Prince Patton that there will be a party next week. He was asking me if I plan to go with him, and truthfully I’d like to, but I also don't want to undo anything either. What do you think?

Roman

~~~~

October 13th

Roman,

I’m afraid that your attendance will not be a good idea. But, I’ve heard sickness is floating around the palace. It would be truly tragic if I can’t attend. The greatest of tragedies.

Janus

~~~~

October 15th

Dearest Husband,

At least for the sake of appearances, can you pretend like you’re not missing your lover when we’re in public? It’s very nearly sickening.

Your Wife,

Delphine

~~~~

October 15th

Delphine,

I don’t believe I ever said he was my lover. Also if you want a conversation just come here. Thomas is a knight not a messenger.

Janus

~~~~

October 15th

Dearest Husband,

Sir Thomas shall be what I ask him to be. But on topic, if Lord Regis is not your lover then Queen Mother is in perfect health. If you’re going to ignore my and your kingdom’s wishes then at the very least be subtle. Please and thank you.

Oh and I will not be joining you for dinner, your sister asked me to dine with her.

Your Wife,

Delphine

~~~~

October 17th

Janus,

I’m afraid the party must wait (and for shame my meeting with the Crown Princess must wait as well). I have just received word that Remus was injured- not gravely though- so he is currently resting at home. I must return as soon as possible to rescue my parents from his madness. Well after I buy all the things the idiot requested.

Roman

~~~~

October 18th

Janus,

I love the jacket thank you so so so much. I’ll be sure to wear it the next time I see you, which will likely be the New Year’s Ball. I’ll write to you again as soon as I get home.

Roman

~~~~

October 21st

Janus,

I have just arrived and I already wish I had stayed in the palace. Mother is already talking about how lucky I am that despite the “scandal” she found a woman who would be willing to marry me. Maybe I’ll tell her to invite this poor girl over while Remus is here. Hopefully that scares her off.

Roman

~~~~

October 26th

Roman,

What do you think about eloping?

Janus

~~~~

November 1st

Janus,

You are aware of the fact that you’re married right? Also two men marrying isn't exactly legal. Also you know, the war?

Roman

~~~~

November 7th

Roman,

Trust me when I say the war will come to an end soon. And screw the laws and my wife. If I just kidnapped you, what would anyone really do?

Janus

~~~~

November 13th

Janus,

For starters I don’t think announcing kidnapping in a letter is the proper way to kidnap someone. Also I would like to point out that in the past years I always wanted to run away and you said no. Then a few months after I drop it you’re getting engaged.

Roman

~~~~

November 18th

Roman,

Virgil said the same thing. You two spent too much time together while you were here. And I’m a married man now. I’ve grown and I’ve changed. And running away sounds better and better.

Janus

~~~~

November 20th,

Logan,

If I said I wanted to elope with Roman to your domain what would you say?

Janus

~~~~

November 23rd

Janus,

You assigned him to be my guard of course we spent time together. Also I’ve been receiving letters from Prince Patton, he truly is a ray of sunshine. He told me that the Queen is doing better and I am elated to hear that. Please pass my well wishes to her.

Roman

~~~~

November 24th

Crown Prince Janus Ekans,

What would I say if you wanted to elope here? Well, I would remind you that you have responsibilities. While I do wish for your happiness do remember that the country lies on your shoulders as well. However if there was such a way that everything was sorted beforehand, then I would still say no.

Count Logan Ackroyd

~~~~

November 28th

Logan,

That’s unnecessarily rude. I will take your response as a positive one.

Janus

~~~~

December 4th

Dearest Husband,

I am apologizing in advance for what I must do. I did not anticipate such a situation, but the Duke has my hands tied. You know I will always do what I believe I must for the good of our nations, and to stop this war. I beg you to keep these thoughts in mind.

Your Wife,

Delphine

~~~~

December 4th

Lord Roman Regis,

I beg you to keep the crown standing tall despite everything. This is not your opportunity.

Delphine

~~~~

December 10th

Janus,

Is it true what everyone’s saying? That the Crown Princess is going to be charged for treason? Was that why she sent me a strange letter?

Roman

~~~~

December 15th

Roman,

She sent you one too? And yes I’m afraid it’s true… but I don’t think that’s how it started. I was aware of the fact she was working with the duke to supply troops using her knowledge of how both armies could work together, I truthfully think he took advantage of her. But her name is on some of the documents which can be read negatively.

I apologize in advance for my lack of responsiveness and attention to you. For now I need to convince Father not to execute Delphine and others in her position. This is all truly at the worst timing, we were in the midst of discussion to end this whole war.

At the very least I’ll see you come the New Years Ball.

Janus

~~~~

December 29th

Roman,

I’m sorry it’s taken me so long, love but I think I have things sorted. At the ball my Father intends to announce the annulment of my marriage- claiming that Delphine unfairly used me. That’s not true of course, but it’s the best way for us to keep her here as a “hostage” and to withdraw our support in this war and try to reclaim a more neutral stance. At least outwardly, things are always more complicated when you look closer.

But with the war coming to a true end, and the end of my marriage, perhaps it’s time I take ‘crown’ out of my title? Patton would certainly be a better face to be out there right now as we try to maintain the rockiest of peaces. And once he takes over maybe I’ll just have to vanish in plain sight. I know a certain count who would take us in without complaint.

We can speak on it more at the banquet, I’ll meet you in the same spot as last year. We can use the same signals.

Janus

~~~~

January 2nd

Janus,

I have spent the past day thinking over the words you told me. I'll admit when I received your most recent letter, I took your words to be akin to wishful thinking. But now after hearing all the plans you made for us, this sounds like something we can really do. My heart beats faster at the thought.

Running away with the Crown Prince, it sounds like a novel doesn’t it? If we were to leave, when would we go?

Roman

~~~~

January 3rd

Roman,

Ideally I’d like to leave as soon as the snow melts, but diplomacy is known to take it’s time.

Janus

~~~~

January 4th

Janus,

I’m ready when you are. Just give me some notice to pack up my things at home and to write a letter that will make my mother sob when she realizes that she can’t marry me off for a reverse dowry. Yes, I know such a thing doesn’t exist, but I’m not sure she does.

Also I spent today with Prince Patton and Virgil and my stance has not changed.

Roman

~~~~

Roman,

Do me a favor and keep your fucking mouth shut? I don’t need Prince Janus interrogating me anymore.

-V

~~~~

January 8th

Janus,

Virgil left a note on my bed last night saying in not so nice words that I ratted him out to you. I take it I was right! You need to speak with your brother then we can be official cupids.

Also I’m leaving today, so make sure your next letter goes to my home.

Roman

~~~~

January 13th

Roman,

I will do no such thing. No one on this planet is good enough for Patton.

Janus

~~~~

January 28th

Logan,

You have till March to prepare our rooms. No, I won’t be telling you my arrival date.

Janus

~~~~

January 30th

Janus,

I don’t know if I ever told you, but I’ve kept every single letter you’ve sent me. The good, the bad, and the pointless ones. I’ve kept them all in a box in my wardrobe and my maids know not to touch them. I think I’ll take the box with me when we run.

Roman

~~~~

February 2nd

Roman,

The Prince is being weirder than usual and is fretting over little stuff and he keeps mumbling your name. Do me a favor and take him off my hands fast.

Also he got very mad at me when he found out we exchanged letters. It’s not like we’ve been doing this since you left or anything. He’s so jealous it’s stupid. Sometimes I like to imagine what would have happened if you had been the one forced into a political marriage- and then I quickly stop because I realize he would order me to go arrest and or kill someone and I legally can’t say no.

Save me.

-Virgil

~~~~

February 3rd

Roman,

I have a box of your letters as well. Even ones you haven’t written but are about you- so even some of Delphine’s have been included. Our story is certainly different from that of other couples, and our letters reflect that. I’ll bring my letters as well, maybe we can organize them all into a large collection.

That was an incredibly sappy thought, and yet I wish to follow through with it all the same.

Janus

~~~~

February 7th

Roman,

I deeply apologize. I saw the play. I know we promised to watch it together, but Patton begged me to go with those eyes and that expression and I couldn’t say no. I will make it up to you. I’ll sit through an opera in the future maybe? I know you like operas even if I don’t.

In good news I plan to send a carriage for you, it should arrive on the fourth of the coming month. It will bring you here to the capital, we can see a horrid opera and then we can be on our way to our future. So you have a full month to pack.

Janus

~~~~

February 12th

Janus,

I can’t believe you watched it without me. It will take more than an opera to make up for this. You can start thinking now on how to make it up to me.

Roman

~~~~

February 19th

Janus,

As the days grow closer my excitement grows more and more. Even now I’m writing this to you rather than sleeping as it truly sinks in that we’re going to do this. I can’t wait.

Roman

~~~~

February 23rd

Roman,

My feelings are the same as yours. This morning I announced to my family my intentions. I didn’t tell them where we’ll be going of course, just that I will be relinquishing the position of Crown Prince and that I will be traveling. Father was enraged, sister was surprised, but Mother and Patton seemed to understand and once the three of us were alone they assured me that they are happy for me. I have a few more people (boring nobles) to tell, but now that they know there’s no going back. So you’re not allowed to have cold feet.

Janus

~~~~

February 27th

Janus,

Please if anyone was to have cold feet it was you. I’ve been willing to run away with you since the day I first laid eyes on the pretty thing you call a face.

Roman

~~~~

March 4

Janus,

The carriage should be here any minute, and I’m writing this letter that I intend to hand deliver to calm myself. My room is packed into bags, and I’ve already said most of my goodbyes. I don’t know when I’ll be back, but I’m sure time will fly when I’m with you. It always does.

Roman

~~~~

Jan,

Truthfully I wish you didn’t have to leave, but I understand it. So I wish you luck in chasing your love, while you’re gone I’ll make some changes around here so you can lead the life you want when you get back.

Be happy, and don’t forget to write.

Patt

~~~~

March 19th

Patton,

I have arrived safely, and both Logan and Roman are doing well. The former was griping about needing to share his estate with us, but all it took was me bringing up a few embarrassing childhood stories for him to loosen up. I don’t know when I’ll be home, but if you’re ever in the mood to frighten Father, tell him that we’ll need a royal wedding upon my return. I finally got to do the proper proposal I’ve had in my head since the New Year’s before last, and it was perfect.

I wish you luck in dealing with the state of affairs, if you need any help send me a letter discreetly and I can offer some aid.

Best wishes,

Janus

P.S. Fire Virgil if you feel like it. You can do better.

~~~~

A Forbidden Romance Years in the Making!

It’s been years since the ex Crown Princess and now hostage of the kingdom Delphine outed then Lord Roman Regis for loving a married man. Afterwards he was shunned by society and took shelter in the palace after his father begged for his shelter. Generously, the former Crown Prince agreed given he was tied to the scandal. But now we know that was never the whole story. Rather the two have been in a secret romance since their school days.

Now, as if his sudden disappearance was nothing, First Prince Janus Ekans has returned with his betrothed Lord Roman Regis, by his side. Previously talks of Crown Prince Patton signing the new law has been floating for a long while, but it seems the pen will finally be put to paper so a royal wedding may commence.

The couple will wed immediately following the signing of the new law legalizing gay marriage. And it will surely be a wedding to remember.

#jaz's oneshots #Janus Sanders #roman sanders #remus sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #roceit #love letters #letters #a story in letters #princes

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dropintomanga · 3 years

Text

Understanding Yumeko Jabami, Thanks to Mahjong

One of my latest hobbies is about to intersect with a very notable gambling anime/manga series starring a girl who just loves to risk it all.

So I found out that Mahjong Soul, the game/service I play online riichi mahjong on, is doing a collaboration with Kakegurui and my reaction to it is somewhat of a mixed one.

That’s mostly due to what Kakegurui explores versus the ambiguity of mahjong as a gambling game.

For those who don’t know about Kakegurui, it’s a gambling anime/manga series about a young girl named Yumeko Jabami who attends a school, Hyakkaou Private Academy, where the social hierarchy is determined by gambling with your fellow students. The more you win, the more privileges you get in school. The more you lose, the worse your status is. There are multiple “loser” students that are labeled as “household pets” and have to wear a tag around their neck that labels them as such. Yumeko is noted to be a compulsive gambler. She doesn’t care if she wins or loses; she’s in it for the thrill. Yumeko’s behavior draws the attention of the whole school as she takes on various notable opponents in order to get an opportunity to take on the student council president, Kirari Momobami.

There’s a lot of commentary about Kakegurui with regards to Yumeko’s character. She does have a huge gambling addiction, but never truly pays for it in anyway. The series can be also be commentary about the nature of today’s world and how the nature of capitalism has destroyed important familial/peer bonds for the sake of status.

I find the MajSoul x Kakegurui collaboration fascinating because

1.) Gambling is illegal in Japan. There’s literally no casinos there at all. You can beat on sports and horse racing, but if you want to play poker/blackjack, underground casinos are your best bet. And the ones who run them tend to be the yakuza. The Yakuza games highlight underground casinos to a huge degree.

2.) Mahjong has stigma from where the game originated - China. The Chinese government has frowned on people playing mahjong to gamble. While there are mahjong parlors in China, there are many stories of police raiding them and many parlors are run by gangsters. It also doesn’t help that some Chinese folks have had their lives ruined due to mahjong.

3.) Mahjong is very popular in Japan. It’s probably the most popular table game there. However, the game is in this in-between space of being a gambling game while also not being a gambling game. That’s probably a big reason why Japan hasn’t been too fussy about it.

So this collaboration has some kind of tension as many folks don’t know about the dark “gambling” side of mahjong. Kakegurui is a trip to that dark side. No real money is bet in MajSoul anyway, but I’ve been thinking about the series after getting caught up with the manga.

There’s a scene where Yumeko and one of her rivals-turned-ally, Mary Saotome, face off in a game of Rock-Paper-Scissors Poker. Mary was the 1st opponent Yumeko fought and she lost her place in the school. Over time, Mary built up the resolve to challenge Yumeko again while becoming more friendlier. During their game, Mary manages to win a hand against Yumeko. Yumeko admits that she was scared during the hand, but at the same time, she’s having A LOT of fun.

Mary remarks about her comments:

“Oh. The way Yumeko sees it...fear is part of the fun of gambling. This is so ridiculous. “Fear is part of the fun of gambling”? It makes no sense. And yet, I’m starting to feel it right now.

Getting afraid, bluffing, going in fully confident...our feelings are exposed in every move we make, and we respond to them and then...the showdown! Our true emotions are revealed.

We’re having the kind of conversation we can only enjoy when we’re gambling.

It’s like we’re in our own little world...sharing secrets with each other.”

Yumeko isn’t a hero. Gamblers usually aren’t noble characters, but they have this tendency to inspire other people to embrace their vulnerabilities and move forward while doing so. Fear is real, but it closes off the real you. Yumeko wants the people around her to truly be themselves and take the kinds of risks that can change their lives for the better in so many ways.

There was an article I once read about how most work is BS and one of the things that was mentioned was that what’s considered work today doesn’t solve social problems. For example, many people will argue that rampant consumerism has destroyed the world. The writer said something along the lines of that it’s not pleasure that’s a problem; it’s the view that people have to suffer in order to deserve pleasure. That view feels like Puritanism because it absolves those with power of their responsibility in letting social problems happen in the first place.

Kakegurui is a celebration of that pleasure in a way that generates real change. The freedom to have whatever desire you want. And in turn, that freedom spreads to other people in good ways. In some ways, mahjong is about the right kind of pleasure and learning how to deal with it amongst other people. It’s competitive, sure, but you’re being intimate with 3 other people and are learning more about yourself and those around you.

I don’t really gamble much, but mahjong just grew on me. While I’ve managed to do well, I have lost many times and have deliberated on many in-game decisions. I realize that the game is a safe outlet in learning how to deal with life’s many decisions. You don’t win all the time. There’s also benefits in letting other people win as well. For example, if you’re in 1st place by a lot and the player in 2nd place is chasing you, you can help the 3rd and 4th place holders by discarding tiles that you don’t need and they need. Make them take on 2nd place or each other. Hell, you can even lose to them if you know you won’t lose 1st place at all and they don’t have super-strong hands. Mahjong is a game that connects everyone and really gets going when all the parts (i.e. the players) move together.

There’s a wonderful interview I read last year from a psychology journalist turned pro poker player, Maria Konnikova, about being unable to control things in life and how poker taught her how to stay calm despite bad luck. Maria talks about the beauty of not knowing and embracing that view.

“Look at how many things there are to amaze us, to fascinate us. Look at the power of wonder, embrace it, and don’t be afraid there are things we don’t know. Don’t be afraid of uncertainty, be grateful for it. Would you want to live in a world where you knew everything and where everything was determined?

He (Carl Sagan) hated superstition, as do I. Don’t take the easy way out. Don’t give up agency. Don’t have these stupid rituals. Science is beautiful. Lack of knowing is beautiful. All of these things we can’t control are beautiful. They’re powerful. They make us human. They make life worth living.“

We all make kinds of gambles in life when it comes to choosing the right partner/school/job opportunity. There tends to be a lot of pain, but there’s almost always something good that comes out of taking the right kinds of risk. I’m learning more about that through mahjong. To be honest, I don’t think I’ll ever get super-competitive in mahjong because it’s a lifetime to master. But it’s a safe outlet to process my fears of uncertainty. My mom has been a big help in telling me that it’s okay to lose and give up when needed. There has to be rainy days as well as sunny days, right? The “win at all costs” mentality causes so much harm to people and those around them.

While I know Yumeko is criticized to be a sexualized female character, Yumeko isn’t afraid to display her lust for gambling with a sense of pride. In my opinion, she represents female empowerment. There’s so many women who are slut-shamed for being sexually expressive. What bigots fear are people unafraid to express themselves and won’t let themselves be shamed for it. Yumeko is the kind of heroine whose story needs to be out there - potentially destructive and able to harness it for self-empowerment without it getting out of hand.

So, I’ll go pseudo-Yumeko and say - Gamble away responsibly to your heart’s content~! Share your love with fellow gamblers! Have fun! Make that fun destroy those insecurities awful people have placed upon you! (insert wicked grin)

#Kakegurui #manga #anime #Mahjong Soul #psychology of gambling #pleasure #luck

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sooniesspot · 3 years

Text

Fluff Drabbles

☁️Hoseok Fluff☁️

No warnings purely tooth rotting floof

word count: 2.6k?

A/N: I got inspired by another story and absolutely loved the idea of Teacher!Hoseok so here we areeeee

“Only when I’m with you.”

Class 2J. sparkling oakwood desks and clean, green carpeted floor. Bookshelves in alphabetical order from top to bottom. Walls with displays that would rival any city centre mural. Painted hands in an array of colours. Poems and love letters in abundance as a Valentine’s Day activity for the students. Woven strings dangling with pictures and drawings of various animals; precariously cut out with care. Sunlight breaking through the windows aligned with small pots of steadily growing cress on a late Friday afternoon. All the children had gone home for the evening, leaving only teachers to walk the halls and finish their work.

Hastening steps as you travelled the short distance to his classroom. Wedges padding along the hardwood floor; echoing through the halls. Reaching his door; a deep mahogany with a window to see through, blind slightly down; you peeked through. There he sat. at his desk, picking staples out of the hearts that made the large Valentine’s Day display behind him; tongue slightly peeking out of the corner of his mouth. Concentration evident in his face. Colour palette of sunlight and joy. That was him. Honey toned skin and warm brown hair. Orange stripes on his shirt fitting his upbeat and loving personality. Radiating all that was good in the world. Hearts in abundance not just the ones he was removing staples from; with surgeon like precision. With a smile that would brighten the darkest door.

Early that same day you arrived into your class of 1H 8:05am; Switching on the lights that woke you out of your hazed morning blur. Room alight, you were greeted by hues of pink and red. Reminded of the day. 14th February. You hated this time of year. Whether that was due to you being single and evidently cynical about this time of year or for the simple fact you thought the holiday was stupid. Why would you set aside only 1 special day a year to show someone how much you loved them? It astounded you how like the Sahara Desert your friends relationships would be every other day of the year, only to be treated in abundance with affection and gifts for this 1 day because society dictates.

You ventured over to the windows pulling up the shutters, a flittering of metal sounding through the room. Taking chairs down from the desks. The cleaners had travelled through the class, vacuum in hand as they cleared the sprinkling of glitter tiny Taehyun had dropped onto said carpet the day before. The crunched in dried pasta from making jewellery boxes. All under the cloak of night. You bumbled over to your desk, dropping down your bag after placing notes and class plans on your hearty desk. You slumped in your chair; just wanting this gruelling Valentine’s week to be over already. You had been making trinkets and other drawings, poems and keepsakes with the children, expecting nothing outstanding from a class of 5-year-olds, however loving every single piece that every child made. After taking one last glance over the classroom your eyes ended up landing on a delicately placed March Lily on your desk in a softly decorated mason jar; filled with water. There it sat, staring at you. In all its blooming glory. A small note attached to the twine wrapping round the jar in a bow.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Hoseok. xx

You gazed at it in wonder. Smiling to yourself at the gesture. Soon enough a knock on the door and a chatter of children pulled you out of your reverie. Travelling to the door, you greeted your students with hi-fives, handshakes and hugs. The lily always in the back of your mind as all of the children sat at their tables with lofty giggles and kicking feet atop chairs where their legs would dangle. So class began.

Passing in the corridor at lunch you had called across to him; trying to flag him down. Smile beaming on your face, you watched as his face rose with a blush, nervous eyes as he smiled, not meeting your own. Quickened pace as he swept past the children into the staff room. Soon arriving there yourself you were met with 4th year teachers and the other 1st year teacher; Daisy. You could see Hoseok no where in sight.

“Daisy, have you seen Hoseok?” you asked; confused.

Looking up from her phone as she sat at the small table with her soup; she looked around.

“Um, he was in here. Must’ve just left. Think he said something about going out for lunch?” She shrugged, looking to you with a curious look.

You nodded solemnly, as you moved over to the large fridge full of lunches. Opening the door you fished for your own plain sandwich you had every day. A blue container laden with a vibrant green post it note with Hoseok’s name on. He had lunch?

Your lunch went by in a flash waiting for Hoseok to return to the staff room but he never came back. Soon enough you were back in class. Talking about love. What does love mean to you? You had asked the children. Some answers making your heart burst and some making you cry with laughter.

“Love is hugging my doggie when I get home.”

“My mummy and daddy love each other a million.”

“I love trees.”

“Is love when someone falls over and you laugh?”

Until finally, a small girl; Soo-yung. Raised her hand and asked. “What does love mean to you, Miss Honey?”

You were taken aback, stumbling over words as you thought of something nice to say. Trying not to be cynical for the children’s sake. Then you saw him. Like a constant light in your heart. Like he was right in front of you.

“Love to me, is helping people. Making sure they are happy, not because you want to, but because you hate seeing them upset and need to make them happy.”

Hoseok had had trouble in the past. He had been broken up with. The girl wanting money and “A 2nd Grade teacher isn’t going to buy me a Porsche.” You knew Hoseok. He would buy the person he loved, every single star in the sky. He would Lasso the moon if he could. He would scoop up the sun like an ice cream just to place it in a cone for constant light. He was a man that deserved to be happy and made sure everyone else was before himself. He was an expert at hiding his pain, but you could see through that. Even early into your friendship when he first started working with you. You could always see through the facade.

“Love, is loving everything about one another.”

“Like loving my glasses?”

“Like my bendy fingers?”

“My extra toe?!”

You didn’t expect anything less from a group of 5-year-olds, they never failed to make you laugh.

“Miss Honey, are you in love?” a little boy named Mason asked; wonderous eyes gazing up at you.

You slumped slightly, resting on the edge of your desk, in front of the children. Hands resting on the edge. You smiled with a light chuckle; thinking it over.

“Maybe I am.”

To this you glanced to your left, seeing Hoseok walking past the door with his class, probably going to gym. You smiled sweetly as you watched him pass you by. Yearning surfacing as you wanted to call for him, or to wave; get his attention.

Class continued on, decorating hearts with little notes on, helping some of the children with handwriting. Notes for family and friends. Even a couple of notes for you that you never expected, bringing tears threateningly close to spilling over and running down your cheeks. Class had ended for the day. The last day of the week where there was a lovely break to be had. You bid all the children goodbye; making sure they took all of their things with them.

You had tried to rehearse what you wanted to say, finding the attempt futile, deciding on venturing to Hoseok’s class to say thank you for the lily at least. And so here you were; taking a deep breath and knocking on the door; heart in your throat. Your head popping through the crack in the door, smile on your face again. Hoseok looked up, eyes dancing and he smiled back. His hunched over shoulders relaxing at the presence of you. Suddenly jumping with a yelp, shaking his hand as he looked down at the heart he was toying with; pulling out staples. He looked to his thumb seeing a pin prick of blood as he shoved his thumb in his mouth; placing the heart on his desk with a roll of his eyes. He stood up, quickly rubbing his hands down his paint splattered jeans as he stood.

“Hi Miss Honey, how can I help?” he asked with a nervous chuckle, looking to his thumb.

You smiled, stepping in through the door like a breath of fresh air. In that moment his own caught in his throat as he stared at you. Your summer dress; mint green, flouncing about mid shin as you timidly walked into the room. Intricate flowers scattered over every inch of your dress in white that hung off you in decadent ways. Your hair framing your face that was beaming with a smile, a light blush on your cheeks. Hands clasped together in front of you as you made your way closer to his desk. With every step he felt his heart hammer; his heart screaming for you but his voice stuttering nothing.

“I’d like to say thank you for the Lily. It’s beautiful.” You smiled, big eyes looking up at him as you drew closer, barely 2 feet away from the desk.

His heart grew wide, enamoured by you. He was silent. For a long while. Your smile faltering slightly as he looked back at you, lips parted but no words escaping him. Hand tapping on his leg as he took you in. Your hair, your dress. The way you looked at him. So lovingly it made him burst. But it also made him hurt because he knew it was only platonic. A girl like you, loving someone like him? Impossible. He had so much he wanted to say that everything came out in a jumble of not wanting you to panic that he wasn’t responding.

“I-it’s a March Lily. And it looked so pretty. Like y-aaaand I know. you. umm. I-i-it would just fit with your classroom, y’know. a-and it was also a thank you because of all the things you do for uhhh.” He stuttered, all of the words bubbling to the surface before he could stop them.

“Where were you at lunch? I tried to say thank you then, but you disappeared.” You glanced awkwardly up at him before your gaze faltered and returned to your nails.

You could cut the tension in the classroom like a knife as it swarmed around you both in his classroom. He visibly gulped.

“Um, I went out for lunch instead.” He laughed nervously, hand scratching the back of his neck.

Before you could reply, he continued.

“I was worried. It was a stupid idea on my part. I should’ve just spoken to you, but I was scared.”

“Scared of what, Hoseok?”

Silence befell the room. The sun outside beginning to set behind the horizon, making way for pink and purple hues that shone through the windows of the classroom and onto Hoseok’s face; pained, worried. The odd rustle of leaves sounded from outside and a slight whistle from a bird but the building was quiet. As if you were the only 2 people in the world.

“Rejection.”

An alarm went off in your head at that point, now it made sense. You just assumed the lily was to symbolise the friendship between the both of you, the colour yellow symbolizes friendship and joy. All the things your dear Hoseok stands for. But now realising that it was a March Lily. Everything made sense.

You had been reading a book, months prior when the leaves began to fall, making way for Winter. Your colleague Daisy finding it peculiar that you were reading a book about flowers and their meanings in the Winter. You had discussed with Hoseok occasionally over a shared lunch of warm soup you had brought in to share. Hoseok a few days prior, inviting his old school friend Namjoon over for food and agreed to let him cook. This was not his shining moment. As he returned, the friend had managed to melt a plastic bowl to the stove. So no cooked food for a couple of days.

Every evening before going home you would pop through his door with a container of food for him, left overs from food you had cooked for yourself the night before. He would constantly thank you and would walk you to your car in the parking lot which would always be next to his own. One day you had left a container of leftovers on his desk, with the book atop it. Hoseok had shown an interest in the book and asked if he could borrow it. Everything finally clicked.

“The March Lily…” you began, thinking out loud.

“It means-“

“Unrequited love.” Hoseok finished before you could.

The look on his face was one you had never seen before. Sadness for something he deemed unobtainable. Your affection. You had seen him sad before, when one of his students were upset. Another no-good girl broke up with him after she didn’t need him anymore. But this. This hurt the most. The way his breathing was heavy and his shoulders slumped. His hands still on the desk as he looked down at them. You walked forward to meet the other side of the desk. Leaning forward, a hairs breath away from him; you placed your own hand on his in comfort getting him to look up at you, not realising you were so close, he was slightly startled; confused before you placed a sweet chaste kiss to his lips.

His eyes grew wide as you beamed at him. His face resembling a tomato at this point as he took his free hand and touched his lips as if it had been a dream. A dream he never wanted to wake up from. The corners of his mouth twitched up into a slight smile until he slumped again.

“You don’t have to, because you feel sorry for me.” He scoffed lightly; clearly unsure of the conversation.

You sighed; heavy and weighted in your chest before venturing round to him behind the desk, taking his hands in yours. Your thumbs dancing over his knuckles. You looked into his eyes, full of sincerity and an air of confusion, like he always had. You smiled, lightly but constant.

“Your love…” you began.

“It’s not unrequited, Hoseok.”

“I don’t share my food with just anyone, y’know.” You chuckled dryly as you squeezed his hands in yours; mouth suddenly resembling a desert as you poured your emotions out into the open air. Letting your words cascade over him as he shot up to look into your eyes; previously focused on his feet. His eyes were wide again; almost comical with raised eyebrows and mouth open.

“What? How?” He asked, mind befuddled.

You laughed again; this time louder.

“It just, happened.” You shrugged with a smile before being enveloped in a hug by strong arms as he pulled you against him. surrounded by the smell of lemon tea and cedar; planting a kiss to your hair, never wanting to let you go again.

“I’m the happiest man in the world.”

“You already are” you countered; voice muffled due to being pressed into the crook of his neck.

“Nope.” He giggled, popping the P at the end with a shake of his head, before planting another kiss to your forehead as you gazed up at him.

“Only when I’m with you.”

Hope you guys enjoyed! I take requests so please do ask 😊

Love Always

Mac 🧡💜

#jung hoseok fluff #teacher!hoseok #jung hoseok #hobi fluff #i am so soft for this man #jhs #bts #bangtan #bts fluff

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acommonloon · 3 years

Text

TL;DR

about last night's mperfect ending. After stops at three Louisville venues, each more fun than the last, we decided to get a nightcap in New Albany. We didn't manage to get a drink at any of four stops in that sleepy town but we did witness a police officer chasing a black man down the side of State Street. Still watching for a news report.

Alternately a night for Morgans

_____________________________________________________________

D's niece's husband, J, is a sweet guy. He has almost no family of his own living in the area and his own family unit consists of an unruly teen (not his) a precocious 6 year old and 3 year old twins. It's a lot.

With that in mind, I always wait for him to contact me and he always earns his kitchen passes so when he texted me he had a free night out I was glad to hang with him. I only asked if he had a curfew. No sir. He's nearing 40 and regularly admits he wishes he could more often frequent the places D and I do, meaning bars and restaurants. I remember those days when self came last.

Our 1st stop was World of Beer. With 50+ taps and hundreds of bottles and cans sitting in glass front coolers directly across from the bar, it's one of my go to spots. J immediately set about building a flight of five small pours while I took my time picking one or two low gravity beers to sip since I was driving. They had two bartenders on this Wednesday night, Morgan was ours and our service was prompt and friendly. By the time we finished a plate of tots, loaded with melted cheese and fresh jalapeno slices I had our plan.

I hadn't been to Commonwealth Tap since before 2020. This small wine bar is in a movie set sort of town called Norton Commons. Think "The Truman Show." The houses were all built over a small number of years and though they are comprised of many different styles, with no two near each other being the same, they are on the same size lots and there is no variety in terms of weathering or decoration. Everything to plan. Unreal. Creepy.

I glanced at the wine list on a chalkboard noticing a Turley Zin at $18 and a Cotes de Rhone at $8. When the bartender asked what I wanted, I said, "Talk me out of the Turley and into the Cotes. He hesitated for a second and I said, "I want something minerally, earthy, not fruity." Like a Beaujolais Morgon or an Italian grown on the side of a volcano. Before he could reply, a guy sitting at the bar said we don't have that on tap. The Cotes is your best option and the bartender handed me a generous taste saying, try that.

I took the glass all the while evaluating the man who'd spoken up. He'd said "we" don't have that. He was alone at the bar except for us. I doubted he was just a bold regular, maybe drunk, who felt everyone benefited from his opinion, he wasn't drunk. Then he stood up and walked over the the wine racks. His search was one of familiarity and he pulled a bottle and sat it down on the bar next to me. Was he an employee or maybe a distributor on good terms with the staff? Then he began talking about the wine, about his many trips to France, and I suddenly I knew. "You're an owner here aren't you?"

He laughed and admitted he was. He introduced himself, Neal Morgan and for the next 40 mins or so he told us about himself and the bar. He told us about his wife, a pediatrician who worked for 20 years in Indiana and he went so far as to describe his Scottish heritage along with his general thinking about wines. When he said he was going a friend's house for a pizza party, I thought he was about to leave. Then he said he was going to take a kick ass wine but first he wanted me to taste it. It was a California pinot noir priced at $30 more than the first bottle he'd put down on the bar. It was fantastic! He gave us tasting notes and I admitted I couldn't perceive half of what he reeled off. I said he spoke like a sommelier and he laughed again and said he claimed he had a better palate than Kenny, the sommelier who worked for him. He thanked us for coming in and seemed sincere. When he left, J looked at me and said, "That was amazing." I laughed and said it was a Wednesday at a bar.

Before we left, I asked Rainha to make me a Penicillin and we talked about Scotch. She related how she introduced her brother to Scotch and now that's all he drank. We talked about how things were during the shutdown and I told her about a new place I'd been the previous Saturday. Outside, J exclaimed this was just the best time! He said he'd never be able to talk staff like that, let alone the owner. I said talking to industry people was one of my favorite things. They are so interesting and I think they find it refreshing when someone at the bar wants to hear about them instead of wanting to talk about themselves. Then I said, I know where we'll go next. Maybe Stephen is working.

Our next stop was at Cuvee Wine Table and Stephen greeted me at the door with a huge "Shane!" and a hug. If J was impressed with Commonwealth, I thought he should fasten his seatbelt. Stephen is a trip. Except, Stephen exclaimed I'm on this side of the bar now! To my quizzical look, he said he was the manager now. Amidst introductions, our bartender, Andie came over and introduced herself. She was tall, regally thin, and wore a colorful scarf on her head. She offered an engaging personality I perceived as professional banter but sensed alos she seemed to enjoy her job.

When I described what kind of wine I preferred, she said, "OOh how about a white?" Ooookay??? I thought to myself, this is going to be fun. Stephen came back as Andy set my glass down in front of me and asked, "What are we having?" Andie said, it's the Santorini. Stephen, a newly minted sommelier, immediately launched into an enthusiastic description about this remarkable wine from a Greek Island. He said it was so constantly windy, they braided the vine boughs into bowls to protect the fruit on the inside. I smelled it and it reminded me of a Sav Blanc but when I tasted it, I knew I'd found a new favorite. It had a salty savory aspect with more minerality than any white I'd had previously.

Andie was from Lexington and our other bartender, Heather, was newly arrived from the Nashville area. Heather was training behind the bar but seemed tres calm. At one point she asked us to wish her luck and I realized she was going to take an order. When she came back, I was a little surprised but delighted when J asked her where she was from specifically. It turned out they were from the same area and knew the same high schools and such. Great fun. When Stephen came and asked if we were eating, I said, "What am I having?" The cassoulet he responded immediately and then he tried to add in sweet breads but I insisted I was out on that. J selected a flatbread and when my giant bowl of white beans with pork and a small chicken leg came, I felt I'd got the better order. He admitted sheepishly he just didn't like beans and that was that.

I suggested we finish with a French brandy served in proper snifters and asked for a bottle of the Santorini to go home. It was full dark but comfortably warm walking to the car and J asked if I were up for one more on him. I suggested we go see Emily at Brooklyn and the Butcher. She made me a perfect drink in January and I'd been craving another ever since.

All the way to New Albany, J kept bringing up how much he enjoyed the two wine bars and how he hoped he and his wife could indulge in similar experiences when their children were older. He worried his wife didn't really like anything but sweet wine and was picky about that. I laughed and said D was exactly the same but she was game to hang out and recently started to appreciate ciders and frutied beers, and even some semi-sweet wines.

There were still plenty of cars parked on the street when we arrived at Brooklyn and the Butcher. I noticed there was no one at the hostess stand when we walked in but I breezed past into the bar. There were two women sitting at the bar and I was a bit disappointed when I realized the bartender wasn't Emily. I was even more so when she came over and apologized but said they'd closed already. I laughed and made a joke about the owner being an old man for closing so early then I realized who it was sitting at the bar. I asked, "Is that Emily sitting at the bar?" she said it was and I got up and walked over. We talked for ten minutes about my last visit and I asked her about her trip to Savannah. She kept apologizing for the bar being closed but I assured her I would be back. It was fine, we'd walk down to The Earl.

I got a bad vibe the minute we walked in. The bar was mostly full and there was only one bartender. He was wearing short shorts and took forever to get us a drink menu then never looked our way for the next five minutes. I suggested we go to Recbar nearby. There it was the same. The lone bartender, woman this time, was overwhelmed and though the bar was half empty she never looked our way before I lost patience.

Okay then. We were driving to my final option (so I thought) when I stopped at a light. J said, "Look at that! A cop is chasing that guy!" Sure enough through the sparse traffic I could see a black guy sprinting along the side of the normally busy road. His arms were pistoning up and down, his hands flattened into chopping motions like a track sprinter. Coming behind but steadily losing ground was a hefty police officer. He looked ridiculous and I can only imagine he might be thinking everyone watching thought he looked ridiculous. I wondered if he might pull his gun.

The light turned green then and I moved forward. That's when we spotted a car with the front passenger side crushed in where it had impacted the guardrail, on the opposite side of the road. There was a cop car with its lights flashing parked behind it. I couldn't see any activity around the cars as we drove past. About a half mile up the road we pulled into the parking lot of our 4th attempt to get a last drink. It was closed.

We laughed and decided we'd had enough fun. As we headed back towards the scene of the incident, sirens and flashing lights were suddenly all around us. I guess there was a manhunt. I weaved through parked cruisers while J counted eight more with lights flashing on side streets . Fifteen minutes later I dropped him off. He thanked me profusely but it nothing but what I like to do anyway.

20 mins later I pulled into the garage and for a second my heart did the little flutter it always does when I see D's car parked in its spot. Then I sighed remembering she wasn't home and wouldn't be for another week.

Just a Wednesday.

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