#she relied on him emotionally and mentally the more they were together and vice versa

[bellaswane-archive]

edward is her lifeline. he's the one who made her life make sense in even in the most simplest sense. he became the first real thing that she clutched onto in forks. even the friendships bella made (outside of jacob and eventually overall the cullen family) felt ingenuine and it wasn't intentional but there wasn't a true connection. edward was intriguing and the as time passed, the thought of living without him is unimaginable. in every lifetime, she would choose him time and time again no matter the consequences.

[in-tua-deep]

While genetically the Boy and Five are the same there has to be an aspect of nature vs nurture. So how do the two differ? Does the Boy want his own name and not simply a gender or does he want a name to symbolize becoming part of a family? Do the two of them react to situations differently? I love this AU so much and I need more!

(for more commission boy au/clone five au check out the previous posts on it one, two, three, four, five)

oh absolutely they’re as different as they are similar - even identical twins raised together are different people, after all! And that’s identical genes (like Five and Boy share) and similar upbringings ;3c

they’re both traumatized in very different ways (with overlapping similarities, like both of them don’t trust strangers/adults they don’t know as they’re both used to adults only wanting to use them/cause them pain)

Five is fucked up about the apocalypse. Fucked. Up. He still has minor meltdowns over what if the apocalypse happens today despite them having stopped it. Probability maps are scrawled across the walls in whatever was closest at hand when Five’s brain went into meltdown mode

The Boy doesn’t use math as a crutch like Five does (or as a way of keeping his mind busy, or as a self soothing habit, or anything else) because he wasn’t allowed to write on,, pretty much anything. He had to give verbal reports. After Five’s whole “hide my equations and plans from the commission by writing them in secret in a book” thing, they didn’t trust the Boy with any kind of planning materials. The only reason he knows how to write is because he pretty much taught himself, tracing letters with his fingers in the dust or on steam covered mirrors tbh

(his handwriting is. atrocious. borderline illegible. he really struggles writing with a pen or pencil but can fingerpaint letters/numbers just find. it’s a work in progress and on god five is going to get his little clone as fast as five himself is at writing shit on walls)

the Boy is still a little math prodigy but he’s only done enormous mental equations, which he is very good at!! but it’s definitely limited him (so he wasn’t capable of doing the complex time equations that Five figured out)

The Boy and Five present their nerves about new situations very differently - the Boy goes small and quiet and anxious whereas Five deals with it by going on the aggressive and yelling. This is because the Boy is way more afraid of punishment/rejection than Five is and is more unsure of his position in the family and his default is “obey, do what they say regardless of how you feel just power through it or face the consequences”. 

Meanwhile Five’s default was ‘rebel, yell, bring attention to himself because if the spotlight was on him then it was off his siblings’ which is depressing in its own way. The Boy didn’t have siblings to protect, he was alone. Five himself probably wouldn’t have drawn attention to himself if there wasn’t anyone to protect, but there was and he did. He bristles like an offended cat and yells

(but tbh, Five doesn’t actually expect anyone to actually listen to him. both him and the boy learned a long, long time ago that their opinions didn’t matter to the adults, that they might as well not be saying anything at all. The Boy went quiet. Five got louder.)

The Boy is definitely more willing to embrace childish things than Five is, because Five feels he has to protect his reputation and prove that he isn’t a kid 

and if there’s some residual trauma there of children vs. adults where Five is fairly convinced that status as an adult offers him some measure of protection against people like Reginald and the Handler, there’s always that. But Five is also probably more willing to be one of “the children” if that means the Boy isn’t alone as the only child because Five’s “protect” instincts overpower his “self preservation” instincts tbh

the Boy is really enthusiastic about things when he thinks he allowed to be (so basically when he’s around Five bc he sees Five as an ally - though he’s getting better around the other siblings without five as a buffer)

his favorite movie is lilo and stitch no you can’t change my mind. it’s the movie he plays constantly as a comfort thing that he never gets tried of. If this was in the era of VHS he would have worn out the tape. Why??? because the boy points at the screen and is like “!! i’m an experiment as well!” and then watches this little blue alien find a family for himself and he’s like “it me!”

…does that make Five the Lilo in this?? possibly. Allison says that it’s more like the Boy is Lilo and Five is Stitch considering Five is the chaos gremlin between the two of them but whatever

(“This is my family. I found it, all by myself. It’s little, and broken, but still good. Yeah, still good.”)

I keep wanting to say the Boy is more skittish than Five but that’s?? not quite true? they’re both skittish and don’t trust easily and cling to the idea of family but in different ways idk like the end goal is the same but they take very different paths to it u know what i mean?

i think the Boy probably does eventually get a different name. Maybe not a name-name since the Boy’s idea of what a name is?? is kind of skewed? like his fav character is Stitch and his brother is Five and he was raised by someone names the Handler like this kid was never gonna have a normal name let’s be real

honestly he probably ends up stuck with something like. Kiddo. Because i HIGHLY doubt the family actually calls him ‘boy’ and in absence of an actual name to call him by end up with nicknames and to differentiate him from Five “Old Man” Hargreeves they probably call him kid and kiddo

i’m thinking about differences and similarities between them again hmm

Five is definitely more assertive?? Five can read the Boy really well (and vice versa) and tends to act as the Boy’s spokesperson when the Boy isn’t comfortable or something. Usually it’s just Five cutting in abruptly like “back off idiot he wants a ham and cheese sandwich not whatever the fuck that is”

the Boy is more likely to approach an issue with violence whereas Five tends to swear and yell and threaten as a first step. Where’s that one meme?? the Boy is “stabs without warning” and Five is “warns (loudly) before stabbing” 

the Boy is arguably more deadly than Five since he’s been trained in assassination since basically infancy where Five was taught to be a hero which are arguably very different skillsets (the Boy was never taught about minimizing casualties or saving anyone rip) BUT Five is more experienced and has arguably more creativity than the Boy. 

Five is a lot more playful in his fighting because he was because when he was little, fighting was playing. That’s how Five and the other umbrella academy kids bonded - by beating the tar out of one another and outdoing each other. They showed off for each other. The Boy is more straight forward because to him, fighting is a job to get over with as soon as possible

ironically it’s five who has to teach the boy to play, and not the other way around. Jump Tag is a favorite between the two where they just zoom through the house trying to catch each other - Five is a lot better at jumping than the Boy since the Boy wasn’t permitted outside of missions and training, but he’s catching up quick (after all, Five did take a brief 45 year hiatus because his powers burned too many calories in the apocalypse, but it’s a bit like riding a bike in that he never forgot)

even so Five is NOT the person to teach others to play because his childhood was messed up as all fuck

so it’s probably claire that really teaches them how to play

Claire is a well adjusted kid whose confidence, unlike Five’s, is not faked. She has adults she knows, loves, and relies upon. She has healthy relationships with peers. She goes to public school and knows and is friendly with a lot of different people. 

So this like, 8-year-old walks in and meets her two skittish emotionally immature uncles (cousin? depends on if they consider the boy to be five’s brother or son) who don’t know fuck all about anything and is like “ah yes. i am your big sister now. i am in charge here.”

and while Five at least rails against the “big sister” charge, neither of them really protest Claire taking charge?? they’re both very willing to follow along behind her tbh neither of them are leadership material and they both know it. they’re probably both very protective of her

if claire is ever bullied god help whoever chose to pick on her bc Five is absolutely willing to maul a middleschooler and the Boy would be right behind him

well i mean. Five is a follower but he’s a little bitch about it, you know? like he’s willing to go with whatever but also if it’s a dumb idea then fuck you. So he’s confrontational with his siblings but if they were ever like “okay then five you take charge” he would be like “oh no. nuh uh. i’m not taking responsibility over all you idiots my blood pressure would go through the ROOF.”

Five loudly declares that Claire is way more sensible and sane than any of the rest of his family so she’s the only one he’ll take real orders from.

(and then Grace walks in and Five will absolutely listen to her as well and not just because the Boy is lowkey scared of Grace and Five is trying to set a good example - as much as he’s capable of setting a good example)

i feel like i’ve talked about their different issues with food, where Five hoards, is food aggressive, and will eat everything whereas the Boy is used to bland nutrition bars and sludge with everything he needs for the day so his issues are more him not knowing what the fuck anything is, being iffy about any strong tasting foods/spices, struggling with eating outside of allotted food times/getting his own food 

there’s a whole post about their differences in nightmares/how they deal with those floating out there somewhere

their fashion sense definitely differs in their own ways? The Boy accepts anything he’s given with no questions and has no style of his own where Five tends towards what Klaus calls “hobo chic” in that he discards clothes he deems not useful to survival. You won’t catch Five in ripped jeans or tight pants that restrict mobility (though admittedly tight restrictive clothing would make the Boy uncomfortable as well but he’ll wear what he’s given with no questions)

both boys struggle with capitalism in that there’s Way Too Many Options for things that are dumb. It’s really overwhelming for them both when they’re sent to the store for like, toothpaste and have to enter an aisle with a bajillion different options for one (1) whole thing

OH the Boy doesn’t shoplift. Five frequently shoplifts because his idea of possessions are “it’s in my hand or in my claimed space/room/etc. it’s mine” regardless of the passage of money whereas the Boy’s idea of possessions is “nothing belongs to me ever” and they’re still working on both of those things

they’re both kind of wary around animals because neither are used to them or know what to expect from them. Mr. Pennycrumb is a therapy dog and no one can convince me otherwise and both boys are instantly smitten with him (but they’re still kind of iffy around like. big dogs that bark. or horses. fuck horses they’re scary motherfuckers.)

the Boy doesn’t like bugs very much after living in the very sterile Commission science rooms but Five will literally pop a wolf spider in his mouth for a snack so yEAH they both have. very different perspectives on that. The Boy is absolutely horrified and the first time he witnesses this hides behind Klaus for half a day because what the FUCK FIVE while Five is unapologetic

they protect each other and support each other and figure things out together bless

it’s secretly a very wholesome au behind the horror of the commission cloning five and training a small child to be a murder machine

[segadores-y-soldados]

Thoughts on leadership and teamwork

While I’m on this train of thought... I’ve lived in situations of “large groups of unrelated, working people who are constantly around each other 24/7 in relatively remote locations” for extended periods of time (month-long chunks to “multiple months in a row”).    By “large groups of unrelated, working people” I do not mean “I lived in a house with 6 other housemates” or “I shared a bedroom with three roommates for a year.”  I’m not talking about that.  I’m talk about a group of people who are not family, who barely know each other, who come together explicitly for work-purposes - groups of people anywhere from 20 - 150+ people all living together for several weeks at a time.  More under the cut (including how I think these things apply to Overwatch)

These were not military situations.  However, they were frequently run with military-type scheduling, discipline, and organization in mind, aka, “set wake up and sleep times,” “standardized individual and gorup schedules,” “regulated group meals,” “regulated group chores,” “certain expected protocols, manners, and behaviors,” etc. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, multiple weeks at a time.  For those of you who HAVE NOT experienced this, imagine whatever dorm situations you’ve been in, and apply it to all hours of the day, the same 20 - 150+ people, only instead of classes, you’re working with these people constantly.  You are around each other all the time.  There are expected and routine things you must do - work, shared group chores, eating meals together, getting a standard sleep pattern real fast, etc.  You do not have the ability or means to go more than a mile outside of this area.   (Please note that these were situations that every person involved willingly put themselves in.  There was no coersion or pressure involved.) There are a few things you learn REAL FAST in these situations: 1) You MUST learn to find your own space.  Whether that’s “mental only” (e.g. listening to personal music, reading a book, playing a portable video game) or actually physical (e.g. going on walks, going to a different part of the physical location, finding a physical niche to hang out in, etc), you absolutely learn to take those breaks for yourself.  You have to, especially if you’re working in these situations for multiple months on end.   The people who do not do this, or who do not learn this lesson fast enough, absolutely suffer emotional breakdowns, or lash out at other people, or get extremely bitter and/or homesick really, really fast.   The people who DO manage to learn this are able to pull it off, but usually for more than a few months at a time.  Someone I once worked under put it like this: “When you’re in these situations, you can reasonably do up to a month withtout problems.  You can maybe reach two consecutive months with only some minor, temporary stress by the end.” “After two months, though, you start mentally breaking down.  Very rarely have I seen someone come out of 3+ months unscathed.”  I, personally, have not gone beyond 4 months of these situations.  I cannot speak for how active duty members handle this, but they probably have stronger or more flexible personalities than me.   2) You learn really, really fast which conversations are acceptable to which people, who you can trust “sensitive” topics to, which “authority figures” you can count on or turn to when under stress, etc.  You learn which leaders will “lead you best in x situation,” and which leaders will “lead you best in y situation,” and it is entirely possible to be able to value and critique both leaders for their pros and cons (maybe not directly to their faces, but internally and among trusted friends, you feel comfortable assessing these).  Saying these things is different from calling either leader “a bad person” - rather, you, the follower or worker, are recognizing that certain situations call for one over the other, and vice-versa.  More than likely, if these two leaders work together often, they probably already know their strengths and weaknesses.  In terms of Overwatch, it is very telling that all “four” leaders of the Strike team - Jack, Ana, Gabriel, and Reinhardt - have different styles of leadership set for specific parts of the Uprising game mode.  Each one of them relies on the others to help balance out their weaknesses with the others’ strengths.   Moreover, it does not imply that any one of them “is better or worse” at leadership than the others.  Simply that they are different.  I’ve seen lots of people argue that Jack being gruffer or “stricter” than Gabriel in the Uprising game mode is “a bad thing.”  Let me tell you, from someone who has worked under joint-leadership situations where someone had to be “the strict one” and another person had to be “the laid back one,” there are many, many situations where you need both.  There are many, many “bad managers out there” who “try too hard to be friends with their workers/employees” and then struggle to actually have the authority to lead when stressful situations hit.  Sometimes, you need that “gruff, strict leader” to actually organize and push you through the hardest situations.  And sometimes, you want someone who is calmer and more relaxed.  It depends a lot.   And, as someone who has BEEN in one of those positions of leadership, there are many, many times where being “too friendly” will get you burned real fast.  This applies to both Jack and Gabriel.   It is absolutely 100% important to be friendly, open, and available to your workers/employees/subordinates/students/whoever you are leading, but this is not always the same thing as “being friends with them.”  Especially when you are in a strict or harsh working environment.   Flexibility meshed with discipline is important.  There’s a reason why so many philosophies and teaching ideologies stress the significance of “flow” or “flowing like water.”  Water can be free and liquid-smooth and fast, but it can also be forceful and powerful.  It is important to be open to change, but also important to be strong when things are struggling to stay afloat.   3) You learn to accept your chores and your duties.  Sometimes these are negotiable.  Sometimes they are not.  Regardless, you learn to be a team player or you struggle.  Lots of people can tell you about the importance of team coordination in the actual game of Overwatch, but it’s important to recognize that this applies to many real world situations too.  This is different than giving up your indivdiual traits or personality aspects.  Let me repeat that.  Being a team player does NOT mean rolling over and accepting everything thrown at you.  Being a team player DOES mean accepting a modicum of shared responsibility and duty in a group situation.  Again, 3 does not negate 1.  Number 1 is number 1 for a reason.  But 3 is still important.  If you throw a fit over every little thing asked of you, people will learn a few things about you: you’re emotionally a brat, you’re probably incapable of working well with others, you’re probably out of the possibilities of a “real job” with this group for the rest of your life.  

4) This might be the one that “gets people to argue back against me,” but I consider it an important part of this discussion.  You learn extremely fast what IS and what is NOT abusive, manipulative, whiny, demeaning, or coersive behavior, ideas, or conversations.  So let me be explicitly clear: Banter, jokes, sarcasm, witty remarks, or even teasing are NONE of those things.   To put this in Overwatch terms, the conversations that the “three commanders” (Jack, Gabriel, and Ana) have at the start of the Uprising comic, fall into the latter category of “banter, jokes, sarcasm, witty remarks, and teasing.”  These people have been friends for decades and I respect Blizzard and the Overwatch writers for actually portraying that fairly well for a short comic.   This also extends to all the conversations and dialogue found among all seven characters (The four Strike team members and the three Commanders) in the Uprising game mode.  I have yet to hear a single line of dialogue that strikes me as being “abusive, manipulative, whiny, demeaning, or coersive” in the actual game.  At most, Torbjörn has a few “you can’t trust Omnics” lines that are quickly and quietly reprimanded by Reinhardt or Lena.  There are times when he acts gruff with Lena, but she quickly teases him back, showing that a lot of it is in good fun, even though they are under a very stressful situation.   Pre-Fall (as in, before “the conspiracy” infiltrates it) Overwatch fits a lot of these ideas as a “functioning, healthy, well-structured, well-managed, happy” organization.  Even in Uprising (which arguably post-conspiracy-infiltration) Overwatch still manages to stay afloat thanks to the multiple, cohesive styles of leadership being balanced here.  But we do start to see some of the cracks in the seams.  We start to see how the pressure is affecting the “foundation” of Overwatch - the original five members of the Strike Team - causing them to make hard, morally and ethically-difficult decisions (e.g. sending Blackwatch agents out to the field even under suspension, sending Overwatch teams into a hostile situation against orders, defying global powers and governments for “the greater good,” etc).  We see small sparks fly in among the different leaders - Ana wants to push for more aggressive intervention, Gabriel “gathering intel” but then “bowing out” of the decision-making process, Jack listening to multiple perspectives before he comes to a conclusion, Reinhardt quickly “shutting down” Torbjörn’s “opinion” on Omnics, etc.   It is entirely possible for Overwatch to have recovered from these cracks and chips under better circumstances.  But with the added struggles of Petras and the UN bearing down on them, plus the increased “internal aggression” from the conspiracy “working against them from the inside,” Overwatch begins to fall apart.  Losing “a critical member of the leadership balance” (Ana) leaves a weakness that she normally would’ve filled.  I’ve been in situations - especially the “24/7 living-working” situations I’ve described above - where things rapidly deteriorate.  We’re not even talking months - we’re talking days to weeks in these circumstances.  The combination of “constantly being together,” “increased emotional and mental stress,” “increased hard and difficult work,” “lack of space,” and “constant struggle to balance your own personal emotions and ideas with the rest of the team’s” is a brutal one, even in situations as small as my own.  It is the tip of the iceberg compared to something as “global” and “international” as Overwatch.