#she prefers pacifism sure but she has her moments

[lessnearthesun]

I need Inej Ghafa to listen to Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve in a rage room as she smashes shit. I think it’d be cathartic for her and it’s what she deserves

[luminouslywriting]

Chapter 10 (Mastermind—MOTA Fic

A/N: The moment has arrived....this is the Abe AND the Rosie chapter, so please, sit back, relax, and enjoy the chaos unfolding that is sure to cause so many problems haha. As always, let me know what you think! I hope you enjoy!

Early September 1943

Another wave of new pilots were flown into base in the beginning of September.  Upon their arrival, Ruth was kept immensely busy.  If not for the fact that another mission was going to happen within the next day—Captain Dye was set to hit 25 missions, after all—then certainly for the fact that there were three other missions that were captivating her attention. 

Her court martials had slowed and lessened in number.  Whether it was because the men were too focused on the war efforts and the way that the missions had increased or if it was because she was speeding through the cases, Ruth wasn’t sure.  Either way, she much preferred being able to aid in the legality of the missions that Harding was having the men run.  

The Schweinfurt-Regensburg mission had been a costly one and it wasn’t something that Ruth was altogether eager to repeat.  She wasn’t sure how she felt about Harding’s insistence upon High Risk-High Reward.  

No amount of human lives would ever be able to make up for winning the damn war.  Life was sacred in all of its forms.  And if the Allies managed to win, Ruth wouldn’t be able to forget about how costly this entire thing had been in the first place.  The amount of men that had died in the skies, the amount of men who died in the hospital wing of Thorpe Abbotts after failed surgeries or losing too much blood. 

They would haunt her mind like some sort of whispery dream that she could never be rid of, no matter what she did.  

Truth be told, the deaths just made her worry about her brothers—wherever they all were.  Jonah was somewhere in the Pacific, likely on some unknown island and fighting a sort of trench warfare that no one would ever be able to understand.  John was somewhere off the coast of Europe, trapped in an impenetrable ship that could sink just like the ships at Pearl Harbor.  And Abe?  God, that kid was so stupid.  He could be anywhere in the world, maybe even already fighting the enemy or dead in a ditch. 

And they’d never know unless he wrote to them or someone found his effects to send back to their family.  

At the minute though, Ruth was walking briskly next to Harding as they went to inspect the first batch of new pilots that had flown in.  More would be arriving that afternoon and another inspection would surely take place later that evening.  

Ruth wondered how many men would continue to come into the base and how many would just take the place of nameless men who would be forgotten.  How many would have to die in order for them to make an actual difference and find footing in this war?  She didn’t agree with John Egan on a great number of things, but getting close with the replacements did in fact seem like a foolish idea. 

The men in this war were expendable.  Anyone in the war was.  That was the only thing she had really learned.  You were replaceable because you were just a job to be filled and a part of the machine fighting Hitler.  And until Hitler was gone, you would continue to be expendable.  

When they entered the barracks, everyone shot to attention rather quickly.  Some were half-dressed and Ruth couldn’t help the fact that her lips curled into a small sort of smirk at their reaction.  When would men stop being blushing messes about the fact that a woman had the authority to enter their barracks at any given time for inspections? 

Harding placed his hands on his hips, facing the men with an approving nod.  There wasn’t anything out of place with this group of recruits, save it be the mess of their gear that they had recently deposited in the room.  

“I’m Colonel Harding.  I wanted to personally introduce myself to you boys and welcome you to Thorpe Abbotts and to the war in Europe,” Harding said, surveying the room.  “This here is our JAG-Corp lawyer, Lieutenant Sharpe.  I suggest if you want to stay on my good side, you start with staying on her good side.  She handles all of the court martials here on base.” 

Ruth felt the eyes of all of the men stray to her for a moment.  “Anything they need to fix, Lieutenant?” Harding questioned. 

“Timeliness.  Surprise inspections can happen at any given time.  And make sure your gear is always stashed under your beds, not in front of it,” Ruth advised shortly. 

Harding gave a grin.  “That being said, there will be no infractions on your first day.  Everything else is fair game, though.  Do your best to stay out of trouble and for those of you that want to bring an end to Hitler and the German forces, I look forward to seeing your work.  I leave you in Lieutenant Sharpe’s capable hands for the next few moments.” 

With that, Harding strode from the room rather quickly.  Asserting herself before any of the men could pipe up, Ruth cleared her throat.  “The cooks have a meal prepared in the mess-hall, if you will all follow me there.  From there, the Hunderedth’s Air Executive, Jack Kidd, will take over and give you your schedules and new orders.” 

She turned and began walking, only to stop.  She waited expectantly for a moment or two before realizing that they really had no damn clue what to do with a woman.  “Did I stutter?  Get a move on!” Ruth commanded.  

At that, the men all scrambled to their feet and to follow her out the door.  Sometimes, it was like herding a bunch of cats.  Ruth gave an eye roll, adjusting the cuff links on her pristine uniform as she led the way to the mess-hall.  It was a silent walk, though she could hear some murmurs from amongst the men. 

Once the mess-hall was in sight, an amused Jack Kidd and Bucky Egan stood at the doors, waiting for her.  “Have fun terrorizing the new kids?” Bucky questioned. 

Ruth gave a huff, shaking her head at him as the men began to shuffle in the building.  “It’s like working with a bunch of children.” 

“I knew you’d miss herding us,” Bucky placed a hand on his heart in a mock-serious gesture.   

“Like I miss cholera or the croup,” Ruth had no sooner turned around than she was nearly flattened by someone—it was Kidd who tugged her backwards so she wouldn’t get run over.  

“Wow, I guess some things never change.” 

Ruth couldn’t help that her jaw dropped.  Bucky and Kidd made their escape before she could surely rip into the new guy in the way that only Ruth Sharpe could.  But Ruth couldn’t help the fact that she was almost speechless. 

Because standing there in front of her, with entirely too much hair gel, was Robert Rosenthal.  “I guess they don’t,” Ruth finally found her footing, shaking her head at him.  “You’re still using too much hair gel.” 

A smile slipped across Robby’s face and he bit back a retort or a grin.  “Lieutenant, huh?  Who let that happen?” 

“Hotshot pilot,” Ruth retorted.  “Who said lawyers were allowed to do that?” 

“It’s good to see you too, Ruthie,” Robby practically sang the nickname affectionately given by her younger siblings.  

She tried not to let her eye twitch at the use of her nickname, something she only let certain friends use anyway.  “Same to you, Robby.” 

“Your ma’ still not know that you’re here?” 

“That depends,” Ruth crossed her arms.  “You’re not gonna tell her.” 

“Says who?” 

“I’m sure I can find an infraction to use against you.” 

“Some things never change,” Robby muttered.  “I’m sure it’s going to be a damn delight working with you.” 

“Likewise.” 

Almost immediately upon entering the mess hall, Pappy, Nash, and Speitz were on Rosie like some sort of hunting dogs surrounding their prey.  “Why’d you linger to talk to that Lieutenant?” Nash questioned, wiggling his eyebrows in Rosie’s direction.  

“Yeah, were you tryin’ to get a good word in with—�� Speitz started. 

“No, no, no, no,” Rosie said, putting his hands up.  “Absolutely not.  That she-devil and I have known each other since we were kids.  We grew up just down the hall from each other.” 

“Is she the one who—” Pappy started.

“Yes, she’s the lawyer I competed with,” Rosie said, giving a roll of his eyes.  “Can we let it go now?” 

“I guess for now!” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Abe Sharpe couldn’t stop tapping his foot on the ground of the plane, occasionally gnawing on his pencil as he glanced at his navigational charts.  No mistakes, no flaws, not a single equation done incorrectly.  The last thing he wanted was to be the one guy who threw off the entirety of the group and landed them somewhere that wasn’t England or Allied territory.  That would be largely embarrassing and would certainly be grounds for an inquiry that would absolutely end in them finding out that he wasn’t, in fact, freshly 18.  And that he was actually a 16 and a half runaway that had a bone to pick with Hitler. 

“Sharpe, I don’t know why you’re worrying so much,” Came the voice of his bombardier, Samuel Scott.  

Abe shifted his position, turning to face his friend.  “Well I just don’t wanna—” 

“Kid, you’ve never been wrong a single time with those numbers.  You’re faster than anyone in the whole damn Air Force.  Damn genius, is what you are.” 

He wasn’t so sure about that particular fact, but he appreciated the encouragement from his friend.  “But Sam—” 

“No ‘buts’,” Sam insisted.  “Just because you’re fresh out of high school is no reason for you to doubt yourself.  You’re here because you deserve to be here.  Now shut up and get us squared away to Thorpe Abbotts.” 

A small grin crossed Abe’s features and he gave a nod.  “Yeah, whatever you say, Sam.” 

It hadn’t been easy, running away from home.  The decision had been one made out of desperation and annoyance, truth be told.  The last thing he cared about was going to prom or finishing out his sophomore year of High School.  His brothers were out fighting for their people and for their country.  He had friends who were older and they had all joined up. 

The stuff that his mother was worrying about was small in comparison to the mountain range of problems that the rest of the world was undergoing.  And he wasn’t about to just sit on his ass for another two years and wait to turn 18 so he could enlist.  

Being good at numbers had helped him.  He had created a fake document and from there, no one had blinked an eye—though he was small for an 18 year old in everyone’s eyes.  And training had been hard because he looked so young and he truthfully didn’t know a lot about all of the adult stuff people kept talking about. 

One or two white lies here or there wasn’t going to sink him to hell (he hoped, anyway).  So Abe had kept up a careful lie and things had started to turn around once his mind was able to be on display.  Everyone in the entire group trusted his numbers and equations—and he knew exactly why.  He already had offers from several colleges for after he finished High School and if he hadn’t been so concerned about actually living his life and having a social life (mostly due to his mother’s influence), then he might’ve already graduated early and been done with that portion of his life. 

But that wasn’t meant to be and leaving home had been gut-wrenching.  If not for the fact that he was leaving the safest place that he had ever known, then certainly for the fact that Mary was going to kill him for leaving her behind.  But she was even younger than he was and he couldn’t just keep listening to Alice and Sarah and their fears for the war.  It was too hard to just be stagnant.  

That being said, he hadn’t written to his family a single time since running away.  The only person he could possibly want to write was Ruth and she was somewhere in London working on women’s causes or some shit (he really didn’t know, he didn’t pay all that much attention to her letters to their mother).  And seeing as how he was certain she would oust him to the military and get him sent home, he wasn’t about to step a single toe out of line. 

Upon landing, Abe was practically thrumming with excitement.  He liked being up in the air and the feeling of being free. He enjoyed being on his own, as much as he wanted some guidance and some help. But he had the other men in the Hundredth and he was going to be just fine, he could feel it in his bones. 

He’d never traveled out of New York, let alone the country.  So to suddenly be on English soil, Abe couldn’t help the fact that his eyes were wide and he was watching and looking at everything he could possibly see.  It didn’t seem all that different from home—except for the fact that this wasn’t the city and this was the countryside.  

Abe was only semi-paying attention as the group he was with began the trek towards the barracks.  And just as he was about to cross into the barracks, a voice called out his name.  “Abe!” 

Turning, he found Nash making a beeline towards him.  They had met a few days previous in preparations for coming to Europe.  Nash had promised that if he needed some friends, Nash was happy to provide them.  He had a small group with him as he jogged over to Abe.  

“You made it!” Nash exclaimed with a grin, clapping him on the back. 

“Yeah, I guess I did—” 

“Oh you’ve gotta be kidding me.” 

Abe gulped at the sudden familiar voice.  Because standing there a few feet from them, presumably one of Nash’s friends, was Robert Rosenthal.  “Uh….hi?” 

[leoruby-draws]

Having something a little different here, not really introducing a new team member per say, but a friend and ally of sorts. Here's Tom Bronson aka Tomcat, son of Ted Grant aka Wildcat! I love cats, look how many are in this pic, everyone's having a fun time (except Grant lol).

Tom debuted in Justice Society of America 2007, which I enjoyed tho it lacked the space for all those characters (a common problem I noticed in a lot of earth 2/jsa stuff), Since he was introduced in the first issue, you would think that he'd be a pretty important character onwards. But alas, he rarely got any focus past the early few issues, even in JSA All-Stars he wasn't given a lot of page time. Then new52 hit and he got erased, not sure if he's been re-introduced back yet.

He and Ted had a pretty good relationship in the book, Tom never blamed Ted for not being in his life and even actively keep up the distance as an adult. Up until Vandal Savage tries to attack them at least. Here in the TrWh au, it can be assumed Tom was discovered at an earlier age (he's 11 to Jason's 10 btw).

Also I said up there that Tom isn't a new team member, but I did wanted to do that originality. That's because in the comics, Tom really didn't like fighting at all when Ted meet him. And that's because Tom has a secret ability to transform into a werecat, something he inherited from his mother. Ironically he keep it secret from her, maybe that'll change in this au.

Ted seemed to help Tom get over his hang-up over fighting somehow, it's not really explained how exactly (like I said, Tom didn't get much focus past tho early issues).I wished that he kinda keep up his reluctant pacifism, it's a unique outlook in a world full of heroes and villains fighting each other.

So at the moment he's a non-combatant ally of the Outlaws, maybe that'll change later who knows.

Since I'm introducing him at at an earlier age, he's still in that anti-fighting mindset, and prefers to stay out of trouble. So he can't really help the team in combat issues, but they can still hang out and have fun in other ways.

Tom's tries to come off as cool and standoffish, but that seems to be a way to hide his skittish and kind-hearted nature. He's been feeling stressed and lonely, esp with how his mother is currently sick and bedridden. Perhaps some friends will do him good!

Here's Tom hanging out with the other Wildcats, his father and Yolanda Montez. Tom is fun to draw, esp in his werecat form. I might be making him more like a cat than a panther, but cats are so fun to draw. I'm basing some this of my mom's own cat, a black cat like Tom.

I really liked Yolanda, she had a real aura of confidence and was really outspoken about what she wanted. I admit I might be a bit biased, since I'm also a Latina as well (¯\_(ツ)_/¯). You can see her trying to 'help' Tom with training to fight, he doesn't seem to enthused with the idea. There's also Ted showing affection with his son, look at the mini cat suit, Tom is so done lol.

More of Tom spending time with Yolanda, they have fun together. Btw Yolanda might already be Wildcat at this point or at least just about to, a bit earlier than in canon but why not?

Jason messes with Tom, he can't help himself. Tom doesn't seem to know how to react with Jason sometimes, esp when Jason jokes around with him. But the jokes never feel too mean-spirited so it's not too much of a bother.

If you ever read Fruits Basket, then you know there's this character with the ability to call forth cats to him. Tom doesn't quite have that power but cats seem to gravitate to him anyways. Looks like Jason called in a favor for his little brother Damian.

Here's a comic that I'd meant to go on a little longer but couldn't think up of what to come next. It's meant to show how Tom meets the team and decides to become friends. Tom seems unsure and almost insecure about why he's being 'recruited' to be friends. Rose seems surprised at Tom's stance but Eddie seems happy to make another friend. But why does Jason want to be friends?

You know there's been some meta about how Jason probably wouldn't have mind not being Robin and just be the civilian son of Bruce Wayne. YMMV on whether you can agree with that or not, I can see reasoning for it tho it should be noted Jason was really ecstatic to be Robin. I'll keep it ambiguous on whether or not Jason would want to hang up the cape, but I keep this reasoning in mind for his interactions with Tom. Tom not wanting to fight at all is a viewpoint Jason has not really come across in his interactions with heroes. As said in the comic, he finds it 'interesting'. Perhaps he was also drawn to Tom's conviction in his ideals as well, maybe Jason finds it kinda admirable in a way.

The team Jason, Rose and Eddie made is in some ways a place to have fun and hang out, to escape from lonely and unhappy lives. It the same reason why other members of the team joined in, to just do things their own way and on their own time. Members come and go at their leisure (the team have multiple places to hang but no official headquarters) so it's a fairly casual and unrestricted type of team. Having a member who doesn't even fight is not really a problem. Though Tom sometimes feels lonely when team members go out on combat missions, and he gets left behind.

There's also the little detail of the team being 'unofficial', I don't think I ever shown that info before. Though I'll probably talk about that for another time.

Well, hope you liked that!

[mamadoc]

Hey there, I’m slow to post on here, but I posted the fifth chapter of my current Chenford story, Worth the Wait.

The outline of this story has 3 acts. The first and second act have a decent amount of angst (but no major character deaths). The third act is full of happiness and dreams coming true. If you’re not ready for angst right now, please protect your mental health and read some other fluff. But if you’re up for lots of angst with a happy ending, please read and enjoy the ride.

Here’s a segment of the story to pique your interest.

Ashley was staring mindlessly out the window most of the time, lost in thought. But Tim had a plan to make the trip back more interesting than just driving the 5 through the middle of California. He remembered a conversation they had had a while ago about wanting to drive along the Pacific Coast Highway. So, he navigated them around Monterey Bay where they stopped to see some sea lions. Then he drove her down to Big Sur to see Bixby Bridge and the gorgeous scenery there.

As they approached San Simeon, he stopped at the elephant seal colony to watch them flopping around awkwardly for a while. He offered to take her up to Hearst Castle, but she declined and gave him a funny look. I must have remembered that wrong, he thought to himself. Next, they stopped in Morro Bay to see Morrow Rock and watch the sea otters living their best life in the kelp just off the shore.

While they were in Morro Bay, Tim picked up some lunch, and they found a spot along the ocean to sit and eat. As he was eating his cheeseburger and fries, he said, “Well, is this trip down the coast as good as you thought it would be?”

Ashley squinted at him. “I mean, I love looking at the ocean,” she said hesitantly. “And seeing the marine animals along the way has been… interesting.”

Tim furrowed his brow at her. “But you told me a while ago that you always wanted to take this trip along the coast. We talked about what we would see and where we would go. I know we talked about going all the way north to see the redwoods, but if we end up living up there it would be easy to go another day. And you really wanted to see the otters and elephant seals and sea lions, right? You said otters were your favorite marine animal.”

She tilted her head and looked at him for a moment. “Actually, I hate seals and sea lions. They’re bossy and invade huge sections of the beach. Plus, they are so stinky and loud. Otters are fine, I guess. We don’t have issues with them in LA. But if I could find a beach where seals and sea lions weren’t an issue in California, that’s where I would prefer to be.”

Tim scrunched his brow in frustration. He knew they had had this conversation. That’s why he had researched all the vista points along the way to make sure that Ashley could see everything that she had wanted to see.

“Maybe you’re thinking about a conversation with Genny? Did she want to take her kids to see all the animals?”

“No. We talked about going to Hearst Castle, too, and Genny’s kids wouldn’t have enjoyed that.”

“Hearst Castle? Huh. That kind of thing doesn’t really appeal to me either.”

It took him several minutes to realize who had had this conversation with months ago. He remembered talking about making the trip together and all the things that they would see along the way. He even remembered searching for the best restaurants in the area. Then a light bulb flicked on in his brain.

Lucy.

It was Lucy that wanted to take this trip. Lucy that wanted to see all the marine animals and Hearst Castle and Bixby Bridge and the rock formations in Big Sur and the famous Pebble Beach tree. The whole conversation rushed back into his mind. They were at a stake out one night, and she just kept going on and on. But it kept both of them awake, so he just let her talk. And, not one to enjoy sitting idly, he had joined in her search for the best things to do and see and eat along the route.

Once he realized the mistake that he had made, he became quiet and focused on eating his food. Ashley noticed the shift as his posture and facial expressions changed.

After a few more minutes, she said softly, “It was Lucy, wasn’t it? You had planned to go on this trip with Lucy. She was the one that wanted to see all of the things you took me to see.”

Tim looked over at her in surprise. He didn’t have to say anything for Ashley to see the truth on his face.

“I think I’m done eating,” she said. Then she stood up and walked briskly away from him.

Tim quickly gathered the rest of their food and threw it in the nearest trash can. Then he jogged to catch up to her. When he found her a minute later, she was vomiting behind a shrub.

“Ashley…” he started, but she held up her hand to silence him.

When she was done throwing up a minute later, she took a wipe out of her purse to clean her face and hands. Tim had his mouth open, eager to explain himself, but Ashley glared at him. “I think I’d like to go home now. No more stops.” Moving quickly, she navigated back to Tim’s truck.

Crap.

He’d really screwed that up royally. How had he managed to think it was Ashley who wanted to take this trip? For a moment his mind imagined how excited Lucy would have been to see the sea otters rolling around and playing with each other or the elephant seals barking and rolling over each other or the extravagant and beautiful rooms at Hearst Castle. But he had to suppress those ideas down as far as they would go. That would never happen now.

Now he needed to focus on mending the tear in his relationship with Ashley. He jogged after her and helped her into the truck. The last two hours of the drive were in complete and heavy silence. The tension between them was palpable. Tim had tried to apologize several times, but Ashley wasn’t interested in hearing it.

They had to stop a few times along the way for Ashley to throw up. But when Tim offered to help or asked if she had her nausea medicine, he only got a stony glare in return.

When they made it to her apartment, he had to run to keep up with her. He tried to follow her into her apartment, but she turned around and blocked the entry. “I just need some space right now. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Ash… Please. I’m sorry. It was an honest mistake. Really. Both of you really like the beach and the ocean, and I must have just mixed it up in my head.”

Ashley scowled at him. “How many of your coworkers have you ever gone on a trip with?”

He was surprised at the question. “Uhhh. None.”

“But you planned to go on this trip with Lucy?”

“She was just talking in the shop on a stake out. We didn’t… We weren’t going to go as a couple. And it’s not like we were actually going to do it together. We were just talking to stay awake and fill up time. At least, that’s what I think I remember,” he said as he thought about it harder again, his brow furrowed.

“See,” she said, pushing her index finger into his chest. “This is exactly what I’ve been trying to get you to see. Lucy was way more than your gopher or your partner to you. She probably still is.”

“She was my friend,” he said defensively. “You know that. But I did what you asked me to do. I haven’t talked with her since she visited me at the hospital. You already blocked and deleted her number on my phone. I don’t know what more you want me to do. I…”

“Save it,” she said abruptly with a fire in her eyes. “I…” she started, searching for words to match how she felt. “This is why I asked you to end your friendship with her. You two together…” She was at a loss for what to say and just stood there for a moment with her mouth open. Then she shook her head and said, “I… I just need some time alone. Don’t call me. I’ll call you when I’m ready.”

Read more here:

[whatspastisprologue-blr]

Here, in Pacific Standard Time, it's officially January 1st, which means it's happy birthday to Joey Batey!

I finally started watching The Witcher about a year ago (as in, probably 1 year ago next week) and was almost definitely listening to TAD by February, though I don't recall when exactly, so January itself is basically going to be my "anniversary of listening to TAD" month.

Just want to add my voice to all the birthday wishes out there. I've never before listened to a singer/band where it's like there's a "before I heard this" and an "after I listened". I never knew what it was like to have a song/singer/band change your life.

But then I found out that the fantasy TV bard is actually a bard in real life and decided to go find this fairly obscure indie band from about halfway around the world's music and... I can still remember that drive to get Chinese food for my Dad and I for dinner.

It's been a tradition for a long time that when Mom is gone for the night, like if she's out of town, I go to pick up dinner for the two of us and then we eat while watching murder mysteries (often, Shakespeare & Hathaway, ironically, though I don't recall if we happened to watch Joey's episode the same evening).

So, I'm getting in the car and I figure, why not listen to a few songs on the way? I had no idea, none, what I was getting into. I didn't know that driving in the car to pick up dinner was probably not the preferred listening experience when hearing TAD for the first time. The most intense I'd heard Joey get while singing was Burn, Butcher, Burn.

And I'm pretty sure the first song that came on was The Old Witch Sleep And The Good Man Grace.

I think it was, because I was so confused about what the actual fuck was I listening to, and overwhelmed by what the actual fuck was I listening to, and wow, Joey just goes off like that normally, doesn't he? I think I was actually a bit intimidated/scared.

I'm almost fairly certain that the next song I heard, as I was approaching the restaurant and parking, was That Unwanted Animal. I'm fairly certain because I know it was the first time I ever heard Madeleine sing and I remember the "priest that you ignored" really hit me hard. (I was so unprepared for Madeleine; at least I'd heard Joey before via The Witcher, but holy shit, Madeleine and her Fae force of nature voice.... I think the first thing I thought of upon hearing her voice was actually that terrified/awed/scared-and-horny moment from Witcher S2, after Yennefer kicks that one dude in the balls, and Jaskier was like, "She's so scary!" In that moment, listening to That Unwanted Animal and hearing Madeleine's voice for the first time, I was Jaskier and she was Yennefer.)

I tried to listen to Farewell Wanderlust when I was doing dishes one evening but quickly realized that listening to that song while doing dishes was not the preferred listening experience I switched to Secret Worlds, which was better.

All that to say, a year later, I still remember the first 4 songs from TAD I ever heard. And I haven't been the same sense.

I went to the ER one evening in March because my cat got a claw stuck in a curtain, then flipped out and bit me when I got him free, and laying there at about 3AM, I quietly sang "Not Yet/Love Run (Reprise)" to myself.

Over the summer, when my Mom and I had an argument and she went off alone to have some space, I gave her space for a while and then I heard Madeleine, in my head, singing, "I know the kindest thing is to never leave you alone." So I went out to see if she needed company and she did.

Songs like Farewell Wanderlust, The Calling, and Drinking Song have helped me feel seen, and helped me express myself. I really struggle to let myself cry but Chords hits me in such a raw, painful place that when I know I need to cry, I play Chords as a cheat to get myself to cry. I intend to tell my therapist to listen to TAD, or at least some of their songs, to express where I'm at.

So, I know a lot of this has to do with TAD in general, and Madeleine, but I also mean all of this as appreciation for Joey. I understand he's the main songwriter and, of course, one of the two lead singers. I just wanted to share how he, through TAD in particular and with Madeleine, has made such a positive impact on my life, just in a year.

This weird, strange, bizarre, surely-he-can't-be-real, funny, goofy dude who's incredibly talented and intelligent and a horrible baker who drops "that's what she said" jokes into a love song but also came up with "let foul men band and heed your hum, for that ancient hymn you heard me strum, is naught but fumble-falls and guns and tumbleweeds, love run. It's naught that rum won't solve, though some would harm you, none, not one, no one would raise to you a hand or thumb, not while by you, I stand and hum". He has a preoccupation with hair, especially his own, did the Dear Hearts Drive video with the alpacas, and said Jaskier's clan animal would be a penguin. He's like chaos personified. He seems so sincerely sweet and kind but is also just this total wild card where you don't know what he'll say or do next.

So, happy birthday to this half-feral Fae from the depths of some forest or wood or bog from Northern England who occasionally emerges to grace us with another dose of therapy in musical form, or make us laugh with some terrible joke, or give us more feelings about gender, or make us all look not-so-respectfully at our TV screens because he's only buttoned his shirt halfway again (again).

[confusedpandabear]

for prompts,, can we get some jealous!haru back up in here (please)?

AH forgot to post this with your question, sorry anon. I hope you like it!

HaruGou: Drabbles By Confused Panda Bear Chapter 38: No Idea About Me & You Read it below or on AO3.

Kou doesn’t want anyone to know about them yet, and Haru gets it. 

It’s not like she wants to keep them a secret, she just wants to keep it a secret from Rin, because it’s better to wait until the right moment, she says—to break the news to him gently—preferably over a Zoom call when he’s fucked off back to Australia, where he can’t hurt anyone unless he gets on a plane to Japan or swims across the Pacific ocean.

At first, Haru’s cool with it. Whatever. Their business is no one else’s business, and he’s not one for public displays of affection, nor has any form of social media that requires him to update his status to ‘in a relationship’ anyway.

But sometimes, he thinks that maybe they should come clean for convenience’s sake—and, selfishly, for his own sanity—because it sure as hell would make his life a lot easier than it was right now.

Kou is pretty, he’s known that since they were kids, but now she’s fucking hot, so much so that it was almost guaranteed that she’d be the sole recipient of male attention everywhere she went and it drives him near enough insane.

“Matsuoka Gou isn’t dating anyone, is she? If not I'd like to tap that,” Idiot #1 says as they’re lining up next to him with their lunch trays, and Haru wants to take his own and smack him around the head with it. 

“As far as I know, she isn’t,” Idiot #2 replies. “Kouji asked her out the other week. She said she isn’t seeing anyone, but she’s not that interested in dating right now,” and Haru’s jaw hurts from gritting his teeth too hard. 

Yeah, fuck Kouji, whoever the hell he is.

He has half a mind to track the guy down and tell him that he has Kou’s underwear in his pocket from when he had her bent over the clubroom table earlier that day.

But it’s not random members of the public that Kou is so concerned about—she mostly doesn’t want their friends to know just yet, in case one of them happens to slip up in front of her brother too.

Not long after they got together, she starts a part-time job at Yamazaki Sousuke’s family restaurant, because her mother's a single parent and Rin’s continent-hopping isn’t cheap.

Haru finds himself eating there most days she worked because…the food is good? He supposed? Even though they don’t serve mackerel but Kou is always telling him he needs to eat all of his food groups anyway. 

He’s there with the guys getting a late lunch and there’s another set of Idiots on the table opposite theirs, psyching each other up to hit on the new waitress and he’s livid but he can’t really do anything about it.

“God, she’s so cute.”

“Yeah, I come here at least once a week just to look at her.”

“I’m gonna ask for her number.”

“Go for it, man!”

Kou emerges from the kitchen, balancing two plates on her arm and another in the other hand and is heading towards their table. 

The one bold enough to dare breathe in her presence notices and starts messing with his hair.

“Okay, one beef-culet meal with rice and two chicken curries,” Kou smiles as she sets the steaming dishes down in front of them. “Anything else I can get you?”

“Maybe the pretty waitress’ phone number?” Head Idiot says and Haru slams his cutlery down onto the table.

Seriously?

Right in front of his salad?!

He’s out of his seat and crossing over to theirs before he can think it through.

There’s a dark and ominous shadow looming over his face.

“Hey. I think you should leave the waitress alone and concentrate on eating your food.”

Idiot stands and squares up to him, and Haru is pleased that he’s at least a couple of inches shorter than he is.

“And who the hell are you?”

“I’m her boyfriend,” Haru says bluntly, and Idiot and his merry band of other Idiots look so crestfallen that he relishes in their sunken expressions.

Meanwhile, the entire restaurant has fallen silent, save Nagisa slapping Makoto on the arm and whispering: “I told you so!” and Makoto sighing and handing him a 2000 yen bill. 

(He’s also pretty sure Sousuke behind the bar is texting Rin, but they’ll have to deal with that later).

The following week, they have a joint practice at Samezuka, and thankfully Rin isn’t there by order of Ai who has barricaded him in his room. 

Kou is on the pool deck trying to have a purely professional conversation with their captain, whose intentions—at least from where Haru is standing—are quite clearly unprofessional in comparison. 

“So, what are your plans after this?” he asks, confirming this theory. “Wanna go get something to eat together?”

Kou’s smile dampens a bit but then it comes back, bright and proud and reaching all the way to her ears.

“Sorry,” she says, “I have a boyfriend,” and Haru smirks. 

Damn fucking right she does. 

[misspiinks]

( rachel brosnahan, thirty, cis woman, she/her ) oh! it’s a SOC from FOREST GROVE. they’re called KATHY but their real name is KATHERINE ANN RICHARDS. they work as a ON AIR PERSONALITY AT RADIO CITY. i heard they are IMPULSIVE, i also heard others say they are CHARISMATIC. but who knows? the gossip mill says SHE SLEPT WITH HER BOSS. AND A GANG MEMBER. AND THE MAYOR.

FULL NAME: katherine ann richards

NICKNAME: kathy, kitty (to her family and close friends), miss pink

AGE: thirty years old

GENDER: cis woman

PRONOUNS: she/her

SEXUALITY: bisexual

OCCUPATION: host of miss pink, her own radio show

PLACE OF BIRTH: los angeles, california

CURRENT RESIDENCE: forest grove, angel ridge, california

FAMILY: jefferson and marion richards, her parents. an orange tabby named cicero, who she always declares to be her only child.

PINTEREST: here

now playing: the lady is a tramp - frank sinatra 0:01 ❍─────── 3:21 ↻ ⊲ Ⅱ ⊳ ↺

if you grew up in angel ridge then you’ve surely heard of the richards. they’re, after all, one of the richest families in town, and that is enough to make up for the fact that they’re fairly new to it, moving from la when their only daughter was less than two years old. little katherine ann didn’t have any memories from la, growing up in a sprawling white manor on top of the pacific grove, her own little kingdom.

katherine was always the perfect daughter, or at least very good at pretending to be. straight a student, charming and talented. there were never many worries in her life, except for the ones she created for herself. because kathy always liked having fun, and always had the habit of taking it a little too far. drinking her parents expensive wine until she was crying and laughing and feeling sick, throwing small parties that always ended up having half the school, getting caught in a very compromising position in the back of her best friend’s car with said best friend… not her best moment, and one that filled the town’s gossip mill for months. 

perhaps if her parents were more interested in her life that would be enough to take away her position as their little princess, but as it were, jefferson and marion richards’ only preoccupation in life were themselves, their mattress empire and what would be served at their next lavish dinner party. this way, kathy managed to graduate high school relatively unscathed, with an early admission to the scripps women’s college and very proud parents that were all too glad to look away from her more troubling behavior. 

kathy graduated in classical studies summa cum laude, but to many her greatest achievement were not latin translations or works of experimental poetry: it was her slot in the university’s radio. every wednesday kathy richards’ voice filled the airwaves with blunt advice, flirty back and forth and good music. though marion urged her daughter to return home (and preferably get engaged and married), kathy found herself lingering in claremont, getting a master’s degree and most importantly an even bigger time slot at the radio.

unfortunately college can’t last forever, and when kathy turned twenty five she felt pressured to go back home and help her parents keep an eye on the family business. she didn’t move back to pacific grove, however, buying her own spacious and modern apartment, and finally submitting some tapes to radio city after a night of one too many bottles of wine. she was hired the next day, with her own radio show. miss pink.

nowadays, katherine ann still walks through angel ridge as if she owns the town, and the rumors about her are still just as salacious as they were in high school. turns around more than half a decade away in college was not enough to make the small town forget about her small delinquencies, and the old ladies are all too delighted to talk about miss pink and how she has slept with everyone in town (she really hasn’t. the mayor is definitely not her type.) 

[myelocin]

what comes after fate | kuroo tetsurou

synopsis: they say the number three is reserved for what fate has in store, and you just hope that on the third time, kuroo tetsurou would finally choose you.

characters: kuroo tetsurou, you

genre: hurt/comfort, another promotion 4 self love once again

wc: 3200+

a/n: this baby has so much self projection r we even surprised anymore

-

“I’m always here for you,” is what you used to say instead of “I love you,” because for a while, Tetsurou’s heartfelt “Thank you,” sufficed.

You never bothered to learn her name, but you knew he called her love. And it was fitting, you think. Because the first time around, when you were only nineteen and feeling like all that you’ll ever have in the world will be found in the now—love was what was in front of you.

But in front of him was her.

She with the sweet dimpled smiles, freckled cheeks under the right amount of sunshine, and the waters of the pacific for eyes.

She.

Her.

Love.

So for Kuroo Tetsurou—what he thought was his future was her. His love.

Then for you, what you thought was love was him.

Tetsurou who used to be the boy who snuck into your room from your windows, a bag of donuts in one hand, and his car keys in the other. The love you sought to be part of your future was what was in the moment. Him.

And even if the summer nights you spent with him meant listening to stories of she whose name you still can’t recall—it was fine. Because when you were sixteen, those same nights in bloom where the stars above that twinkled brighter than the city lights looked down on you—you knew there would always be a slice in history when it was just the both of you.

“She’s something else,” you’d listen to him say, and the way Tetsurou’s eyes would squint when he smiled at the sky only had you thinking that it looked like he was looking at the sun instead of the moon.

Love, you come to conclude, wasn’t blind. It was what gave the smallest details the brightest spotlights as it comes into center stage.

For him it was the way love would scrunch her nose at his questions, tuck her hair behind her ear when she was called to answer a question in class, and quite evidently his favorite—the way her voice would hike up half a pitch if she was flustered enough.

And when Tetsurou would turn to face you and ask, “Have you ever been in love?” with his voice as breathless as you always caught yourself to be when he smiles at you, you could only nod your head.

“I guess I have,” would come your reply as you exhale. Your truth being the very thing that has your heart racing one minute before diving recklessly in the next.

“Who?” Tetsurou would ask, his voice always teasing.

He smiles, gold eyes glowing like the bokeh of streetlights faded in the background, and the sight has you holding your breath.

“Just someone,” you’d reply and pray that your message somehow reaches him despite the wordless confession.

“Someone, huh,” he’d repeat your words with an almost dreamlike expression as he turns away and looks up at the stars again. The summer breeze tugs at the sleeve of your blouse and as it leaves you exhale your truth with it.

“What if it’s you?” you say, looking at him, and the wind retreats to the trees as it gives your truth the chance to be known with a stage of silence.

“What do you mean me?” Tetsurou asks quietly.

The wind stays in the trees, the leaves rustling the only thing you can hear with the silence that hangs in the air. You can’t tell if it’s on your side or not, so you turn from the skies and face him instead.

“That’s just my truth,” you tell him, smiling softly.

He smiles at you, eyes patient and the hand that found yours warm.

“Your truth, huh?” he repeats next to you again, and your heart flutters at the silver lining you found in his eyes. And that same silver lining was what ignited the flames of hope in you that lasted far longer than you would have liked.

After you spoke your truth, what you saw in the smile he offered you was the first step, and because you loved him, you took it upon yourself to walk three steps forward instead of only one.

Love really wasn’t blind, you realize again. In your case, it was just blinding.

-

You were still blinded after that night, and you don’t come to realize it as soon as you would have preferred to.

The first time Tetsurou loves, seven months later he lets go and returns to you with a tremble in his lips and a yearning for the comfort that left his heart.

“You just love too much,” you wanted to say, but before the words could pass your lips, you were rendered speechless as the epiphany strikes you that you weren’t far off from where he was.

Too much, being the fact that you still stayed despite the morning after you laid your truth bare, he came to you with love holding his hand and a newfound radiance laced with his smile. But it worked out, you suppose, because seven months later Tetsurou stands in front of you again with his car keys in one hand and a bag of donuts in the other.

“Sappy nights and star gazing again?” are the words he says coupled with the same pair of golden eyes are what took you to release the tension in your shoulders and slip back in the cycle.

The cycle, being the fact that you’re lying on your backs in the very field you set your truth free, with his eyes and the background bokeh lights making you want to take another dive again. Beside you, Tetsurou is silent, but the look on his face is making you wonder if he’s struggling to explain the infinite all over again.

“I should have just loved you,” is what he says to break the silence, and just like that, your heart’s leaping to dive again.

“You still can, you know,” you answer, because you mean it. The truth of the matter was you always were still there despite his departure. Your heart left at the gate for him to claim when—if—he returned, while your body waited somewhere nearby to watch for his arrival.

“I’ve always been and I always will be here for you, Tetsu,” you finish, smiling with the honesty wrapped with your words.

“Are you really giving your heart that easily?” Tetsurou asks, and his voice you hear more than a sliver of vulnerability, so you take that as a cue to wade in waters even deeper by yourself. The golds of his eyes looked like the embers of a fire, but despite the absence of flame you still could feel the resonance of warmth.

You want to keep the warmth, so you fan the flames.

“That’s just my truth, Tetsu,” you tell him with nothing but raw vulnerability.

The wind ceases to rustle in the trees, because in this night, you feel it dancing on your shoulders: on the strands of your hair that you fastened with a clip behind your hair, and at Tetsurou’s lashes as he stares and blinks at you slowly.

“You said the same thing back then,” he laughs in a whisper, and when he leans in—you stay as still as the wind that you barely even realize has stopped moving.

“Because I meant it,” you try to say, but his lips are already on yours before the thoughts in your brain could even get a chance to try to connect.

Every word of it, you think to yourself as you look at Tetsurou, with his eyes closed and face up, bathing in moonlight.

-

He doesn’t call you love, like he did with her, but he calls you friend.

“I guess we just got carried away,” he tells you a few weeks later, and for the second time, you can only nod your head, mouth silent, but thoughts raging at his words.

You think about that night, of his sadness, then at how lonely his lips felt pressed against yours. Perhaps “carried away,” really was a good way to explain things, because in the second time you saw the silver lining for reciprocation in his eyes again, instead of taking one step and meeting him in the middle—you took it upon yourself to leap to three and meet him at his doorstep instead.

Only he hadn’t bothered to cross his own threshold as you already made it way past the boundary of yours.

But it should have been fine, because love was patient, right?

So you offer him a smile, knocking your shoulder against his again and exhaling silently as you swirl the melting cubes of ice around your glass again.

The world outside is storming, so the café the two of you found served as a nice refuge to let the storm pass.

The condensation drips on the side, and as you look at the rain still pouring outside, in that moment you feel a little trapped.

“You figured yourself out?” you ask him, nudging at his shoulder and setting your gaze down to look at your drink.

For a few moments, Tetsurou doesn’t answer you, instead opting to just keep his attention focused on the raindrops beating against the window the two of you are sat behind.

“How do we even know if we figured ourselves out?” he eventually chuckles, his shoulders dropping at the change of atmosphere.

You grin, not exactly sure how to formulate the answer to his question with only words, but you let out a sigh and attempt to do so anyway.

“We don’t,” you tell him truthfully. “I guess there are just moments where we feel so sure of something that it feels like we have shit figured out, but that could also change in the next moment. I guess what I’m meaning to ask is if anything has clicked for you at the moment?”

“I guess there has,” he tells you, setting his gaze down for a brief second. That’s when you notice the slight tug at the corner of his lips, so you drop your straw back down the glass and give him a pointed look.

“Care to share?” you say with a laugh.

“I don’t wanna break your heart,” is Tetsurou’s truth, because when he turns to face you for the first time that night—you can see hesitation evident in his eyes.

“Because I love you?” you ask, not really seeking for an answer, but you get one anyway when Tetsurou hangs his head and reshifts his gaze to something in the corner of the table.

“I already told you two truths before, didn’t I?” you question him once more, and beside you, Tetsurou stays silent instead of just nodding his head.

“I guess I owe you another truth then,” you start, pushing your ice filled glass to the side and folding your arms in front of you as you lean forward on the table.

Facing forward, you look at the force of the rain, then listen for the sound of the wind that hides behind no trees this time because tonight it’s in front of you raging as if to say it’s really time for you to spill your truth—in its entire vulnerability.

So take it as a cue, and do just that.

“You’ve already broken my heart twice, Tetsu. I think I still have it in me to take one more,” you declare in a voice that isn’t a whisper, and just how it was in the past, your heart still managed to leap with your words.

“I can take it,” you repeat, locking eyes with him through the reflection of the darkened window in front of you. Because of the distortion, you can’t read the expression in his eyes. Tetsurou was someone who always happened to be just the right kind of transparent for you, because for as long as you’ve known him—his emotions were as easy to read as the intention he expressed them with.

First, he sighs: the kind that’s deep and slowly released like he’s an old man looking over his will. Then, he turns his head again to look at you, and you could already see the apology swimming in the golden eyes you’ve come to adore before he could open his mouth.

“I’m sorry,” it says, and when you focus on the sounds of the rain instead of his voice that comes, the only thing you can read from his lips was because for him love, had always been her.

Tetsurou’s love, whose name you still can’t recall to this day.

Love, with her ocean eyes and poetry for words, and you can’t hate her because you don’t even know her.

“Friends?” he asks you, and you only shoot a smile his way, before looking forward at the windows again.

If something was fate, you recall, it happens on the third time. As you wait for the rain to slow, you allowed yourself to fall in step with the silence so you could gather your thoughts.

A phone rings—Tetsurou’s, you recognize, and when he picks it up, there is sunshine in the tone of his voice.

Love, he greets. So, you think about love.

But the love where fate was involved. Three, you think. It was supposed to be on the third.

The first time you meet Tetsurou through the rose colored lenses you wore yourself, the truth you gave him—which he listened to—counted as the first. You scoff inwardly when you think about the outcome, because despite the silver lining he gave you, for him, love was somebody who wasn’t you.

The second, was in that night he kissed you. A kiss that felt like its beginnings came straight from between the pages of a story book. Where prince charming heard your truth once more and decided that this time, love was you, and that this was right.

You realize that you forgot to count the fact that with a fresh wound also came a different sort of vulnerability. The kind where it sought healing more than reason.

And that night, perhaps because you laid yourself bare too—your healing meant his comfort instead of the salvation he sought after.

So the two times he loves, let goes, and cries all with a love that still isn’t you.

Where he loved her once, let go and realized that he loved her still, and for the third time came back to her but this time stayed. The first, second, and third for you meant a rebounded sort of love and misunderstood connections, while the three for him meant the love fate had long promised.

Because in the third, you realize as you listen to him speak to love over the phone—the third, or fate, is where he stays. He talks about her like you would him, and when the rain drops harder with the howling wind, you awaken to the truth that it hurts.

So what comes after the third? you ask the storm outside. You’re also the third storm of the season, so what now?

The wind doesn’t slow, but it rattles at the glass on the window even harder, so you try to find your answer in that. The wind was always on your side, you like to think.

After the third, you begin to think, comes something else. It isn’t the first where you begin again, or the second where you think about second chances and rewriting failed endings. In contrary, it isn’t the third where things finally click together either—like all the movies suggest.

The answer is simple; because what comes after the third is simply the fourth.

The fourth, being the careful steps taken to walk away. Where the heaviness in your chest means that you’re finally facing the blunt of the storm outside the eye of the hurricane. It’s leaving that false safety net that moreso trapped you for a lot longer that you realized, instead of protect you.

It’s grabbing your bag and thanking your lucky stars for bringing an umbrella with you, because you only tap him on the shoulder once and wave goodbye when you’re already halfway out the door. It’s walking through the puddles in your favorite pair of heels and almost losing your balance, if it wasn’t for the unusual gust of wind that kept you upright at the very last second. It’s looking at him when you finally make it across the street, sheltered under an awning, as he only looks down at his drink and smiles the kind of smile that you used to smile for him. It’s crying in vulnerability and thanking the rain along with the rose colored lenses Tetsurou wore because with that he couldn’t see the fact that your heart still hurts despite you saying that you could “take his truth.”

The fourth is saying “fuck you,” and “I’m done,” for as many times as you wish until your lungs give out and your throat becomes more hoarse than relieved. Because at the end of the day, letting yourself cry is a different sort of relief when you’re finally allowing yourself to realize that despite the steps you’ve taken for healing—shit just fucking sucks.

But what comes after fate, most importantly—is yourself.

It’s shaking off the raindrops, drying your hair, and getting in that taxi, the image of golden eyes against bokeh lights the last thing on your mind. Where you don’t shut off your phone, but mute his contact despite the what ifs calling you back at every stoplight.

You’re only reminded of your position in the present when the lights turn green, and just like that, you just go.

Yourself, being the person you begin to prioritize, because when Tetsurou texts you again, a photo of him with his car keys and a familiar box of donuts in hand, your only reply is a quick “I’m busy tonight,” and nothing more.

What comes after fate is yourself because after facing the reality of the storm that’s been raging, and making peace with the message the wind has been trying to deliver, you finally see the waiting sun peaking behind the exhausted rainclouds.

Vanilla skies, you smile. They’re the first thing that greets you, and your breath is stolen just like that.

Tetsurou’s name flashes on your screen again, but you don’t see it. What comes after fate is standing under the swirls of vanilla in the sky while the stars of your yesterday’s midnight sky calls you for company yet again, and you, not bothering to answer.

You think of golden eyes, the bokeh city lights, and the plethora of stars dancing around the moon. Your heart aches, but it’s the kind where it dulls as quick as it comes, so you breathe in and bask in the smell of morning dewdrops after the heavy rainfall.

A missed call, and a text that reads “I miss you” comes.

You leave it unread.

Because truth be told, you always preferred the vanilla skies over the moonlit nights anyway.

 -

a/n: i h8 men that is all tq

[unolvrs]

if you don’t mind sharing, i’d love to know your thoughts on iron widow! my friend pitched it to me as a fusion of chinese mythology and pacific rim which on paper should interest me but i feel so lukewarm about the concept

hi! i decided to answer this question quickly because if i don’t, i’m afraid i’ll forget all my thoughts on the iron widow. lots of people were also harassed online for their negative reviews on this. i genuinely like xiran jay zhao’s content on youtube but her debut book, not so much. but here’s what i think (this is going to be a bit long):

first of all, i’m a big fan of the pacific rim franchise and basically the “big robots fight aliens” trope. and as someone who adores chinese history and read lots about wu zetian, i had very high expectations for this. and everyone knows that i dislike love triangles and prefer polyamorous / ot3 ships a lot more. in short, the iron widow really appealed to me at first. i was very interested with the plot and was excited to read a story that not only contains bisexuality, polyamory, but also feminism.

many of my critiques come from my own preferences because i rarely find a book written in first-pov that i actually like. it’s a very hard perspective to write about so seeing that the iron widow failed to write well in that perspective isn’t very surprising. the writing, overall, is mediocre at best, as much as i’m hesitant to admit—it’s always this and that, only telling that these things were happening and nothing was really shown. the premise is very interesting but the delivery absolutely failed the whole thing.

the worldbuilding is not even worth mentioning. it’s always this and that, as i’ve said, but doesn’t explain anything further than that. i know there’s a sequel in the works but i’m reviewing this as it is for now. there are little to no explanations about how the robotic stuff works. nothing was fleshed out. literally, i have nothing much to say about the worldbuilding because it was almost non-existent.

in relation to this, the patriarchy in this book doesn’t make that much sense.

wu zetian is claimed to be a ‘feminist icon’ but she doesn’t have any good relationship with other women aside from one or two who aren’t even mentioned much. (basically an afterthought or just a rapid addition.) the only people in her life that she genuinely likes are her two male love interests, men, and both of them portray typically feminine traits in a way they will follow wu zetian to the ends of the earth. and though nothing is wrong with that, what’s the point of the whole thing?

the main character portrays typically masculine traits and any female character who has stereotypically feminine traits are either treated as weak by the main character, put down, or like i said, has no presence. the wu zetian from actual history was considered as a ‘feminist icon’ because she used her feminine traits as a concubine to gain power. i understand that this is an au and a retelling but the best way to combat patriarchy is to give the main character masculine traits?

wu zetian doesn’t even try to educate anyone. instead, she races through her decisions blindly and recklessly. sure, she screams (and god, i read the phrase ‘i screamed’ way too many times in this book) about men doing this and men doing that, but what happens after that? wu zetian is a misandryst. she’s not a ‘feminist icon’. the book literally doesn’t empower women nor does the main character treat other women well. the moment someone disagrees with her, that’s it. end of story. wu zetian promptly tries to kill them or blacklists them.

it’s a rather hypocritic book. wu zetian gained power displaying the same things that men do to other women by doing the same thing to men. but of course, her male love interests aren’t included in that. and god, the romance was so rushed.

i wanted to like it. i genuinely wanted to like it.

i really don’t understand why this was so hyped up. the plot is interesting and all, but overall, i was disappointed.

[nonstoplover]

it doesn't matter ~ bill 'hoosier' smith (the pacific)

my masterlist  |  my hbo war masterlist

pairing: bill 'hoosier' smith x female reader

request: "heyy, i just stumbled upon your blog, and it honestly made me so happyyy!!! i was wondering if you could do me either a lieb or a hoosier smith imagine (i love them both so much, so either one is okay!) and could you maybe do either a pregnancy one or maybe a proposal? preferably pregnancy, but i don't mind too much either way! last thing, just wanted to let you know that you are amazingly talented, and i wish i could write the way you do! ❤️" ~ @whoahersheybars

summary: bill bumps into a girl on the streets of melbourne, sending her and all her belongings flying to the ground. neither would think in that very moment that in only a couple years, they'll be over several unexpected turns, with the involvement of hundreds if not thousands of letters written and even a war bride ship.

words: 3.6K

a/n: thank you for the request, lovely! i hope you'll like this one! i've never written with anyone from the pacific before so it's a first and i'm a tiny bit anxious.

this includes a few time jumps, i didn't want to end up writing a fic that's too long for my liking, i hope nobody minds.

sometimes i wish i could write accents in my fics, but sadly english not being my first language puts me into enough stress without having to worry about accents too :((

taglist: @mads-weasley @neverendingstories00

"Oh, damn!" (y/n) grunts as she registers that everything from her paper bag has scattered on the ground. She swiftly pushes herself up onto her knees from her sitting position and scrambles closer to grab the newly bought food - at least what could still be saved.

Out of nowhere a hand holding an apple appears in front of her eyes. "I'm utterly sorry, miss." She looks up to see a young man towering over her with an overly apologetic look in his eyes. Taking in his American uniform and thinking back to what he said, with flashbacks of the previous minutes in front of her inner eyes - it suddenly becomes obvious it was this man in particular she bumped into in the corner, the one that sent her flying to the ground, throwing the paper bag in the air.

"Can I pay you back in any way?" He continues as she reaches up to grab the fruit from his hand and lets it fall back into the bag - that's much emptier now, with most of the contents previously landing in the dirt.

(y/n) blinks once or twice, still trying hard to let her mind catch up to what just happened. Maybe she hit her head. Just in time with her thought, the marine leans further down to get a better look in her eyes. "Did you hit your head, miss?"

Thinking back to what happened, she frowns and shakes her head. She has no memory of that, she just simply sat down on the asphalt. Well, maybe a bit harsher than just sit down, because it was more of a fast and ungracious fall.

The man reaches out once more, this time with his palm open and facing up, offering a hand for her to get up. She takes it, but by the time her mind even processed the thought of standing up, he pulled her up with such strength that she loses her balance immediately and comes flying into his chest. He grabs her elbow with his other hand and holds her tight and steady until he makes totally sure that she's secure on her own two legs.

With not at all lady-like movements she swiftly dusts off her clothes, taking a second glance to see she's got the most, then her head rises again until their eyes connect. What she finds in his almost grey but still blue orbs surprises her. It's an incredible amount of honest worry with which he's staring at her.

"I'm okay, thank you," she smiles up at him and a couple seconds of seemingly being completely frozen later he swings into action and as if he's touched fire, he lets go of both her elbow and hand, then takes a small step back to create a bit more space - just as it's ethical. "And you don't have to pay me back, I ran into you just as much as you ran into me."

"At least let me buy you a coffee, then," he insists, the worry in his eyes switching to some form of regret. "Please."

"Fine."

A small smile makes its way onto his face, then as if suddenly realising something, he straightens his posture and holds out his hand, once more. "I'm Bill, by the way. Bill Smith."

"(y/n) (y/l/n)," she takes his hand and gives it a firm shake - one that obviously surprises him from the slight raise of one of his eyebrows. It's nothing she's not already used to, though. Ever since she was a kid, she kept on surprising people - mainly men - with her strength. It's pretty unusual coming from a young girl. Advantage of growing up on a farm with only your father and older brother around.

"Uhm, can you suggest a café though?" Bill scratches the back of his neck, cheeks turning lightly pink. "I'm not at all familiar with Melbourne yet."

The girl giggles and places the paper bag under her arm whilst pretending to think. "I don't really like coffee that much, actually," she ponders out loud, then just as his face slightly falls and his lips open to protest in a bit of disappointment, she continues with a cheeky grin. "How about something with alcohol in it instead?"

For a second he thought he didn't hear it right. She couldn't have said that, right? But looking in her playfully shining eyes and seeing the grin playing on her lips, he knows that she's said just that.

"I happen to know a pretty good bar not far from here," (y/n) adds.

"Okay," Bill gives his answer - probably a bit faster than he's supposed to, faster than it's morally conventional, but before he can feel embarrassed again, an angelic laugh leaves her lips and suddenly all he feels is that it was more than worth it.

The walk to the bar starts in silence, just the two of them moving without a single word - both trying to understand the weird feeling tingling in their bodies. Then (y/n) breaks the quiet, deciding that if she's really going to have a drink or two now with a total stranger, then at least know a little bit about each other before getting to it.

"I'm not that familiar with Melbourne, either, actually."

"Yeah?" The marine glances at her for a short moment before his eyes return to the ground below them.

"Yeah. All my life I've been living in the countryside, on a farm. I only left a few months prior. Because my pa didn't want a young woman like me to live there on my own."

Why is she about to tell this man all about her life, her past? What is it about him that makes her feel so comfortable as if she knew him for weeks, months, or hell, even years, and not fifteen minutes in total? She can't quite define, but it's definitely there.

"On your own?"

"Yeah, both he and my brother have enlisted," she shrugs. "My mom's long gone, didn't even know her really."

What? Stop!, she mentally slaps herself. Why is she being so depressing now?

"Enough about me. Tell me about yourself, Bill Smith."

He grins at her use of his full name, then reaches up with one hand to scratch at the back of his neck, looking at his feet in the process.

"I'm from Loogootee, Indiana," he speaks up, then pauses. Suddenly he doesn't know what to say.

(y/n) glances at him from the side, raising an eyebrow as if to question why he stopped so soon. Bill takes a breath, quickly thinking about things he could talk about that might sound interesting and appealing to the Aussie girl.

In the end his attempts seem successful as she giggles every once in a while listening to his stories, sometimes adding one of her own that resembles his. The walk to the bar goes by fast and in absolute conviviality.

About an hour later they're sitting in a booth, the paper bag gently pressing against her leg as she's trying to prevent it being stolen or left there without her paying full attention to it. Three empty glasses and one about half full sits between them on top of the table.

They're just laughing away at something Bill said when three figures enter their field of vision, casting a kind of shadow on the table and the two of them. With a slow movement of their heads they both look at the newly arrived - (y/n) doesn't get any more clever about who they might be at first glance, but Bill's eyes lighten up as they take in the three men.

By their American marine uniform - similar if not the same as Bill's - she figures they're probably his comrades in the Marine Corps, the ones he already told many stories about.

"Hoosier, is that really you with this lovely lady right here or do my eyes mislead me?" One of them leans closer with a loud chuckle erupting from his throat.

Hoosier. What is a hoosier?, she wonders in her head.

Another one slaps Bill in the shoulder in a playful way, sending a wink his way, then all three of them start laughing - so loud that it causes many people glancing in their direction from all across the large room, no matter the otherwise already almost deafening noise.

"(y/n), excuse my friends for acting like a group of lunatics," Bill looks back towards her, his cheeks the colour of a light red rose - is it because of the drinks he's had or because of his friends?

"Oh yes, I'm sorry about that, miss," the one standing the closest to her pretends to slap himself in the forehead with a look of regret on his face before placing his palm on top of his chest, facial expression turning serious. "I'm Robert Leckie. And let me introduce you these two gentlemen I arrived with. Wilbur Conley and Lewis Juergens."

"(y/n) (y/l/n)," she nods with a small smile.

"You know my first name, Leckie?" One of the other two lets out a chuckle - the one who nodded and waved a little after the name Lewis was announced. "Now that's a surprise."

"Of course I do," the questioned one, Leckie rolls his eyes in response.

"Why, what are you called amongst the marines then?" (y/n) chimes in with true curiosity sparkling in her eyes.

"I'm Chuckler, he's Runner, and Bill over there is Hoosier."

"And he's Peaches," Conley - or should she say Runner? - adds swiftly, earning a slap to the back of his head from Leckie.

(y/n) watches them interact with a smile on her face, wondering about what the origin of these nicknames could be, then turns to Bill with the smile turning into a playful grin. "Hoosier?"

"Yeah," he grins right back.

"Okay we're leaving you two lovebirds alone now, just wanted to make sure it's truly you," Leckie straightens up. "I'll see you around, Bill, and it was lovely to meet you, (y/n)," he looks at them one by one.

"Vice versa," the girl smiles up at him, then the three marines bid farewell and walk away. "They seem nice," she says to Bill who gives her an appreciative smile back.

- - - - - - about four months later - - - - - - - -

Her fingernails drum a fast rhythm on the table of the small diner impatiently, her eyes never leaving the entrance. Where is he and why is he late? With a slightly shaky hand she raises the glass in front of her and she takes a large sip, swirling the liquid around with her tongue to enjoy the taste better.

After the drink is safely put back down on the table, she cards her fingers through her hair then leans her face in her palms, rubbing the skin under her finger pads in nervosity. She didn't even hear the door open or feet aproaching, but the next moment a hurried, quiet voice speaks up next to her. "I'm sorry I'm late."

"It's okay," she smiles at Bill, but it doesn't reach her eyes.

"What's wrong?" Hoosier slips onto the chair opposing her, a worried glint appearing in his eyes.

He knows her too well, he does from about a month after their first meeting.

"We have to talk."

He frowns, leaning closer to her with his elbows resting on the wooden surface between them, then just looks at her, waiting for her to continue.

"I think I'm pregnant," (y/n) announces. What would be the point in beating around the bush? It's easier just to say it as it is.

Bill visibly gulps, his eyes widening a bit. About a minute passes with the two of them just staring in each other's eyes before he speaks up - his voice somewhat hoarse. "You think?"

"Yeah," she looks away, fingers fidgeting. "I'm not entirely sure, but there's a chance I'm right."

"Uhm," the young marine starts speaking but immediately his voice fades and he just clears his throat to avoid being completely silent. What should he say? He has no idea. He doesn't even know what he feels at the moment.

"I understand if this is too much for you," (y/n) swiftly interrupts his thinking. "I mean, we're young and only know each other for a couple months and obviously we're not married. You're American and I'm Australian. We live on the two opposite sides of the world. I understand if you're not ready for a kid yet or don't want to have one in these circumstances."

"What are you saying?" Bill tilts his head in question, eyebrows moving into a frown.

She takes a deep breath, averting her eyes from his and glancing at her nervously moving fingers instead before answering his question. "That even if I'm actually with child, you can forget about the whole situation. I'm keeping it, but you don't have to."

A sharp hiss leaves his lips by her suggestion. "No," it's all he says, making her raise her glance back up to him in surprise.

"No?" (y/n) breathes out a couple seconds later.

"No," he repeats, shaking his head fiercely. "I'm not leaving you alone when you're pregnant with my kid."

"But we didn't want it."

"I know. It doesn't matter."

His lips slowly curve into a smile and she lets out a small gasp. Tears blur her vision as she starts laughing in relief.

"Are you sure?" She manages to get the words out through her sounds of happiness.

"Yes, (y/n), I am," Hoosier reaches out for her hand still laying on the table and takes it into his own, giving it a gentle squeeze as he joins her laughter. "We made a new form of life, can you believe it?"

"Don't forget about how I might not be pregnant."

"Okay, okay. Let's wait with this until we can be entirely sure, yeah?"

(y/n) nods in agreement and so he seamlessly changes the subject.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"You know, we should get married," Bill breaks the comfortable silence as they're having an impromptu picnic in the park, (y/n) laying down with her head in his lap, his hand gently resting on the tiny bump of her stomach. "Before I leave again, I mean."

A giggle leaves her throat as she looks up at him in blissful disbelief.

"It's a bit fast, I know, but I think we kinda already crossed that line when getting pregnant," he shrugs.

"Wouldn't it be weird to do it without our families even knowing about us planning it?"

"It might be."

A couple minutes pass in quiet as they're both thinking about his proposition, and it's him to break it again, his voice fainter than before. "I'm not stupid and I'm not living in denial. I know there's a huge chance that I'm not coming out of this alive. And I want to support you and my child even if I'm not around. Marriage is my only chance to do it."

(y/n)'s speechless - she hasn't expected such a heart-clenching turn in the mood. But to her own sadness, she has to agree with what he said - all the while she can't help but feel a little flutter in her heart seeing him wanting to help her and the yet unborn baby out so bad.

"So what do you say?" Hoosier asks after waiting another minute or two.

"That you could've thought of a more romantic proposal," she giggles - if nothing more, this can be a lightening to the seriousness of the moment.

Bill shakes his head and rolls his eyes but lets out a chuckle himself.

"We could get married. If that's what you really want," (y/n) adds on a more severe note, resting a hand on top of his.

"Are you free tomorrow?" Now it's his turn to joke - but the honesty shining in his eyes lets her know that he half means it.

A wide, happy smile makes its way onto her face and her head moves in a simple nod.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Dear Bill,

I'm delighted to announce that I've given birth to a healthy, beautiful baby daughter. I'm sorry you couldn't have been here. I'm sure you would've loved to be the first one to take her in your hands - I'd have loved that too.

I hope this letter of mine still finds you unscathed, wherever you might be. Oh, how I wish this war would end soon.

I'm still debating what her name should be - I know, I'm so terribly indecisive. You agreeing to give her my mother's name in her memory seems to not have been enough to convince me fully. The nurses gave me a day to decide, so I hope I'll dream the perfect choice in my sleep.

Must be crazy to think you're a father now. It is quite unbelievable for me still, being a mom. The word makes it sound frightful, with all the responsibility to look after another human being.

I can't wait to hear from and one day even see you again. Take care of yourself, Bill.

With love,

your (y/n) Smith"

This is the letter that keeps him going in Cape Gloucester. He tries to keep it as dry as possible, no matter how much it seems like the raining is never going to stop again.

This is the letter that gets joined by a couple others including the one in which (y/n) lets him know of the baby's final name - Margaret Helen Smith, after the two grandmothers and with his last name which makes him an ounce happier even with the circumstances he gets the news in -, or the one in which she's sent him a photo of their child and herself - his most treasured belonging for the time being.

These are the letters that leave him wordlessly praying when they announce the lottery to win a ticket home in Pavuvu. He doesn't win, but at least whilst staying on the humid, gruesome island they get and can send letters more often.

Then the absence of letters from him is what wakes the almost unbearable worry in her. First it doesn't matter, it has happened that letters arrived more rarely. But then it becomes two months, three months, more and there's still no word from him.

The worst thought nestles in her mind, and no matter how hard she tries, she can't close it out. Taking care of her baby keeps her busy throughout most of the days and even parts of the nights, but she still has lonely moments when the silence and emptiness of the small apartment makes it too difficult to just get past the negativity.

Hope slowly starts to fade - until a few days from Margaret's first birthday in December she gets a letter. From him. Turns out he wasn't killed in action. He got hit when a mortar exploded close to him and he was then transferred back to the US. It's a bit hard to think about how far they are from each other, but the thought that he's still alive makes everything bearable - she feels like she could wait for any time now, as long as his condition truly stays as it is.

The rest of the war passes by with nothing but letters exchanged - with her telling him all about the things baby Maggie does and him telling her about his healing, his family, and then eventually when he leaves the hospital how he's found the perfect house for them and how he started working.

Late 1945, close to their child's second birthday, Bill tells her about a war bride ship that he heard of from another wounded soldier he travelled back to America and still keeps in touch with. He proposes her leaving with the first one - he even offers help with organising the trip. Only if you want to, of course, he writes.

In March, 1946 she says goodbye to everything she's ever known, packs her life and with her kid in her arms boards the ship that will eventually take her to her husband.

It takes six weeks for the ship to arrive to the United States, and being so impatient it feels like forever for her. Hoosier feels a very similar way, knowing that he's missing out on his baby's first years - with every day that passes she's growing up more and more without her father around.

As all the women aboard start descending from the ship and stand on American ground, chaos soon takes over the port - too many people waiting to pick up their already or just soon to be wives and too many people arriving with the ship.

Anxiety fills her whole existence as her eyes travel along the sea of people, desperately searching for Bill as Margaret cries in her arm, frightened by the loud noise and large crowd. What feels like the middle of the great masses of people she stops, slowly turning around, examining all the faces getting in her gaze's way.

Her breathing quickens and all of a sudden she feels stupid for travelling all across the world for what? A man she's not seen for two and a half years now?

Just as this thought enters her mind, the crowd slightly parts and as if sent from the angels above, a familiar figure enters her vision. Leaving her suitcase right there on the ground without a care in the world she sets off in as fast of a run she can manage with a two-year-old sitting on her arm and so many people in the way, and she flies into his embrace.

"Bill," his name leaves her lips in a relieved whisper, almost inaudible in the noise.

Despite never leaving Australia in her entire life before that one time six weeks ago, now, arriving to unfamiliar shores, into the arms of the man she grew to love in such a short time, the man whose child she's given birth to two years ago, she feels like coming home.

.::the end::.

[darisu-chan]

burnin' up

Welcome to another IR Month!

Today, I bring you this one-shot which is the opposite of keeping cool. Just what we need for this summer day.

Hope you guys enjoy it!

You can also read it here.

Prompt: keep your cool

Summary:When it is hot out, the best solution is to go to the beach and swim to keep cool…right?

It is terribly hot this summer.

Not that other summers haven’t been as hot, or even hotter than this. But for some reason, Ichigo feels the heat way more this year. He can’t quite put his finger on it. He just knows it is too hot and nothing he has tried so far has been able to cool him down. And, look, he was born in summer. He is used to the flames, the scorching heat, the shinning sun on his back. He does prefer sunny days to the rain, it’s true. And yet, this year the heat has been excruciating. Ice cream, ice cubes, fans. Nothing has seemed to work. At this point, he’s not sure there is anything out there that will make the heat go away.

If he’s this bothered, just imagine Rukia.

She is miserable.

Honestly, Ichigo wouldn’t have expected it to be any different. She was born in the middle of winter, and her zanpakutō is a snow one, a literal Snow White. Of course Rukia has never done great in the summer. But especially not this one. Summers in Karakura can be a pain in the ass, but Ichigo reiterates this summer in particular has been the worst so far. So, Rukia’s been a mess. Red hot cheeks, sweat running down her neck, short skirts, lethargy. It is obvious how uncomfortable she is. And, well, Ichigo feels for her. He doesn’t do the greatest in winter, so he can sympathize with her current state. He wants to do something for her. She had taken a few weeks off to visit him after all, and Ichigo can’t help but blame himself for her current state. If she had stayed in the Soul Society, maybe she wouldn’t feel like this. But no. He can’t afford to think in this way. So, instead, he looks for solutions until he finds one.

The beach.

It is so obvious he wants to slap himself.

Of course they should go to the beach!

It would still be hot, sure, however the ocean water and the breeze are always cool. Thank you, Pacific Ocean for your cold water! Besides, it is the only place where wearing little clothing is socially acceptable. Not to mention the cold drinks, ice popsicles, and other such delicacies that are sold on the beach. And the fact that going on a trip is always a welcome change in the routine. Ichigo’s not sure Rukia has gone many times to the beach, least of all to enjoy herself without worrying about the fate of the world.

So, it is decided that they will go.

“The beach?” Rukia mutters out loud once he tells her the news.

“Yep. The beach.” He simply answers and he can’t help the grin that forms on his mouth.

“What spurred this decision?” She questions him, clearly confused.

“Oh, I know what spurred this decision!” Old goat chin interjects from behind him, but Ichigo ignores him.

“I think it’d be better to enjoy the beach than being stuck here in this heat.”

Rukia stops and thinks for a moment, remembering the terrible heat she’s felt with no respite. She immediately nods her head.

“Agreed.”

That Monday, they decide, will be the day they go to the beach. They believe it will be less crowded than on a weekend, but given it is summer after all, it is a give or take. So for three days they prepare for the event, getting everything they will need: towels, a picnic basket, water bottles, swimsuits, backpacks, flip flops, sunscreen, and the like. For a moment, Ichigo stops and wonders if Rukia even knows how to swim ─ she flicks his forehead while rolling her eyes, “Tawake! Of course I know how to swim!” ─ All the while, he ignores Karin’s snide remarks, Yuzu’s smiles and his father’s perverted comments.

The night before they leave, Isshin even sits him down on his room, with a serious look on his face, which makes all the hair in Ichigo’s body stand on end.

“Now, son, I understand this is your first trip with Rukia with just the two of you, alone. So there are some things that, as a man, you need to know.”

Ichigo’s face starts burning as he stands up and sprints away from his father. Oh, hell no! He is not about to receive the talk when he’s already twenty one! And, yes, he’s pretty much aware this will be the first time he’s going to be alone with Rukia for a few days ever since their relationship changed. But it’s not like he’s planning on doing anything perverted! His intentions are pure, damnit! Yet, a little voice in his head wonders if this trip will make things change once more. When it comes to Rukia, he never knows how things are going to go. It is highly probable they will keep their hands to themselves. However, there is a teeny tiny possibility that they will cross uncharted territory. And, not gonna lie, that frightens Ichigo. Not because he doesn’t want to. But he is scared about the repercussion such a change might bring to their relationship. They have just been able to navigate this thing between them, he doesn’t want anything to ruin it! Particularly not such an adult thing to do. So, he puts those thoughts aside and goes to sleep. He tries to think about waves, sand, fish, beach balls, and definitely not in a scathingly clothed Rukia.

The next morning, Ichigo wakes up feeling refreshed and with a new outlook. He decides he is just going to enjoy this experience, whatever happens, with no expectations. When he meets Rukia in the kitchen, she is positively beaming. She is wearing a baby blue dress with a bow in the front. On her head rests a straw hat with a matching blue ribbon and her feet sport white sandals. She looks radiant. Ichigo has to look away for a moment, less he be forever blinded by her brilliance.

“Ready?”

“Yes!” She exclaims and off they go.

The trip to the beach is quiet. His old man had lent them his van and Ichigo is trying to focus on driving carefully. Though both are technically speaking not alive, that doesn’t mean their physical bodies can’t get hurt. Besides, he doesn’t want Isshin complaining about scratches on his car. Meanwhile, Rukia can’t stop staring outside the passenger seat window. From the corner of his eye, he can see the way her eyes light up the whole way. It is endearing how she manages to find magic in the most mundane of things. The road, cars, random buildings and establishments they pass by, the people. It doesn’t matter how many times she’s visited the human world, things will always be new for Rukia. Ichigo even spies her taking a picture here and there. It makes him feel happy. Happy that he can give him this. More memories. More life.

They make it to the beach by noon.

As expected, there are a lot of tourists there, but not as many as one would have expected. Neither desolate nor filled to the brim. Just the right amount of people. Rukia’s eyes turn ocean blue the moment they land on the golden sands of the beach. She squeals with unbridled joy and is about to sprint to the water when Ichigo stops her.

“We still gotta check in on the hotel.”

He had rented them a room. Nothing too fancy, he is a college student after all. But just enough to be comfortable. Ichigo goes through the usual motions. Gets their card on the lobby, and walks through the floors until they find their room. It is medium-sized with blue walls covered with paintings featuring boats and mermaids. There is just one bathroom, a mini fridge, an old TV. As it had been stated, nothing too fancy. But here is where Ichigo faces his first real problem. There is just one bed. He starts sweating the moment he realizes this, and wonders if he hadn’t specified he wanted two individual beds when he had made the reservations. Instead, there is a single queen sized bed in the room. Rukia doesn’t seem to care as she walks around the room, and opens the balcony to stare at the ocean. Internally, Ichigo screams. He hopes she is not thinking he is sleazy and that he had planned all of this trip with one purpose only. He tries to calm himself. Rukia knows him. She must know he’s not that kind of guy. And it’s not like they have never shared a room or even a bed before, for that matter. It’s just this will be the first time they will be alone. Completely alone with no one to interrupt them. Hopefully, not even Hollows.

While he is having a mental breakdown, Rukia is enjoying the cool breeze coming from the balcony. She opens all the windows and dances around the room. She opens the closet and the drawers. She discovers hangers and a notepad there. Then, she goes into the bathroom and she’s pleased to find a bathtub. Later tonight, she plans on taking a bubble bath to de-stress. Once her exploring is over, Ichigo has calmed down. Rukia is all smiles, with not a hint of displeasure in her face. She either hasn’t noticed the bed or hasn’t cared to think about the implications of it right now. He is grateful for that.

“Do you wanna go to the beach now?” He asks in case the literal elephant in the room is addressed.

Rukia nods enthusiastically. “Yes!”

They go downstairs and walk towards the beach while Rukia asks him a million of questions. Ichigo tries to answer all of them as best as he can. They talk about the peculiar birds she sees ─ “Those are called seagulls.” ─, the people, about volleyball and other beach activities, about the food, and even about Ichigo’s experiences at the beach. Finally, they find a spot under two umbrellas, and they set their towels down.

“We should put on sunscreen.” He says.

Rukia nods and reaches to the hem of her dress. She pulls it up to remove it, revealing inch by inch of creamy white skin. Ichigo’s first thought is that she will need to reapply sunscreen every two hours at least or she’s definitely going to get sunburned. His next thought is, wow, that’s too much skin! By all means, Rukia’s bikini is an average bikini as far as swimsuits go. The top doesn’t reveal too much cleavage and the bottom part covers everything that it should cover. But, man, he has never seen that much of her skin! Alright, that’s not exactly true. Though it’s not like anybody needs to know that! Still, this is new.

Rukia’s bikini is a deep violet, which matches her eyes. It has white polka dots, and the design is visually pleasing. Ichigo wonders where she had even gotten it. Had Urahara given it to her? He hopes not or he is going to kill the man. But regardless of where she got it, he can appreciate what it does to her figure. The top frames her breasts nicely. They look round and soft in it. Ready to be admired. Though small, Rukia has her own curves that he now gets to marvel at with no barriers. Small waist, small but rounded hips. Toned legs. He really doesn’t dare look at her behind, because he does have an inkling of what is awaiting him there, and he isn’t sure he is going to survive the view.

Ichigo feels in flames. Like he is burning and, by the end of this experience, there will be nothing left of him but ashes and bones.

“Ichigo, can you put sunscreen on my back? I don’t think I can reach all the way.”

Yep.

He is going to self-combust any moment now.

In hindsight, maybe this was a terrible idea. Because although his original intentions were pure, his mind is taking him to other places. Places that perhaps should remain unexplored. And, it’s been about a year since they first kissed. Six months since their relationship fundamentally changed. He never thought there would come a time in which he would be able to say Rukia was his. He has always been hers, but now she is his. Forever, they believe. But even that sounds simpler than advancing to the next level. His soul is hers. All hers. And his body wants to be hers as well. However, Ichigo isn’t sure she wants to be his in that way. Not yet at least. And, fuck, he is a man now. A man with his own curiosity and needs. A man madly in love with her. Can he be blamed for finding her the most gorgeous woman he has ever met? Can he be admonished for wanting her all to himself? Still, he shouldn’t objectify her. Shouldn’t make her think he sees her as a walking piece of meat. Rukia is much more than that. She is his person. The other piece of his soul. Even if he finds her irresistible.

No, Ichigo.

This trip is to keep cool and have fun. So keep it in your pants.

“Are you just going to stand there or are you going to help me?”

Rukia suddenly questions and breaks him out from his internal conflict.

“Uh… sure.” He stammers like a high school boy and his cheeks redden.

She turns to look at him coyly.

“Come on, I don’t bite.”

Ichigo is not so sure about that.

This is going to be a long, long trip.

[neakco]

Song fic based loosely on When I Found You by Amber Pacific and Alex Gaskarth.

Tim is racing home after skipping out on a meeting because he knows something is up with Marinette. Maybe he wouldn't have skipped work, but she wasn't answering her comm or her phone. So Tim decided to take things into his own hands to make sure she was okay.

Apologies, it is a little dialogue heavy. I am not the best at phone conversation chapters.

Also no beta, all mistakes are my own as I wrote this in about an hour.

When I Found You

AO3

Tim was growing frustrated as he raced back to his nest. Ladybug wasn’t picking up her comm and he knew she was on patrol. He tried again already expecting her not to answer. It was nearing 5pm for him so LB was probably going to turn in soon. His phone rang and he ignored it. Bruce was probably upset that Tim ditched work early, he would deal with it later. It felt like it had taken forever but he had finally patched himself into her phone. Tim didn’t want to ruin her privacy but the sound of her broken sobs decided him.

“It's Tim. I know you were ignoring me earlier just like I know you can hear me right now. I can also hear you trying to hang up on me, not going to work Bug.”

He heard her try to stifle her sobs and decided to keep talking. “Look, I know life can hurt sometimes. I still remember the time I came over to pick you up for coffee and saw you dressed in your best handmade summer dress. You had never dressed up for our coffee dates before and I was confused until I saw you talking and giggling with Mr. Handsome hair. No, don’t glare at the phone. I may not be able to see you right now but I still know you Bug. If you hadn’t gushed at me for 3 hours later that night about his hair then I wouldn’t have given him the stupid name. I also remember how you didn’t sleep that night and spent it talking to me instead. You told me you didn’t understand why you couldn’t sleep, but I know you well Bug. You were excited about your not quite a date but you were also guilty because you ditched me.” Tim paused to take a breath and to listen for her near silent sobs.

“Just like that day I can tell your emotions are all over the place again. Different reasons but still just as chaotic. You are allowed to be in love with the guy while being happy for him even while feeling the pangs of heartbreak. If it gets to be too much though then you can just come stay with my family in Gotham. I bet you that Bruce won’t even notice an extra dark-haired person running around. If that is too much then you can always stay at my nest, I am mostly sure I can make it habitable for humans.” Tim paused hoping that would draw a small laugh.

Hearing nothing but her still quiet sobs he tried to put all his love for her into his voice. “You just need to hold together for one more night. Just say the word and I will have a helicopter there after classes to pick you up right from your school. One word and I will set you free. Look I know it feels like all hope is gone right now, but if you give up you will never see all the great things I have planned for us this summer. Things I planned with you in mind. Marinette, you complete me. You are my best friend and you showed me how to love my life again.”

There was a moment of silence before Marinette finally spoke. “How did you know?”

Tim stopped himself from sighing in relief. “You mean other than you ignoring me?” He grinned, and didn’t wait for a response this time. “I was watching the livestream during a coffee break. The light in your eyes, the spark that defines you was dull. I was worried enough that I ditched work. Bruce is probably furious with me, just think of his face when I steal a helicopter tonight.”

She bursts into broken sobs, “I thought we were meant to be. That we were two hearts in perfect harmony; a beautiful love song.”

Tim was panicking slightly, he needed to calm her down before she attracted an akuma. Damn villain making it so his girl couldn’t even cry like she needed to. He made his voice jovial, “I guess we will just have to write an even better perfect love song about you and me.”

The sobs stopped, there was absolute silence for long enough that Tim was beginning to think she really had been akumatized when suddenly her beautiful laughter filled his ears.

Marinette laughed for a good minute before finally getting her words out, “Oh know, am I your straight awakening?”

Tim pouted but couldn’t keep his own smile from his voice, “Hey, love doesn’t have to be romantic. I love you platonically. Why can’t we have our own platonic love song?”

“Because I don't need any jealous vigilantes or heroes coming into my city to complain.” She deadpanned.

“Again, just say the word and I will be there flying the helicopter myself to free you from the chains of your responsibilities, at least for a few hours.” Sadly he knew that no one else could take up the earrings. He could hear her smile die as she remembered why he had hacked himself into her phone in the first place. “If soulmates exist than you are definitely mine Bug. No one else can keep up with me intellectually when as sleep deprived as we get. No one else can consume the nectar that is our preferred coffee without adverse side effects. You are it for me Mari. I promise to love you forever.” He paused, “Platonically.”

“But forever feels so long now that he has a girlfriend. How can I go on knowing that it isn’t me?” She sounded broken, like Alfred's good china after Dick had tried his hand at juggling upside-down from the chandelier.

“You just need to take every good moment you have had and put it in a box to keep with you forever. That way you can always pause and look at them. He is still your friend isn’t he? You can still love him, you just need to change what kind of love it is.”

“But it hurts.”

“Then take a break from being his friend. Come to my home. You will see, in time it won’t be so bad.”

He heard the what sounded like a tissue box being dropped on the bed and what he could only deduct was Marinette drying her eyes, “I won't lie and say I understand, but if I say yes will you help me to?”

“Of course.” Tim smiled and continued to speak even as we pulled out some paper to figure out how to sneak a helicopter without alerting his family. “Your world may be spinning out of control right now on the path you designed for two people, but know that for you I am perfectly willing and determined enough to throw myself in the way to either derail it or plain hijack it.”

Marinette starts to laugh again, hopefully she wouldn’t wake her parents.

Did he screw up his words somewhere, he wasn’t really paying attention to what he was saying.

“Tim, How much coffee have you had today?”

“Enough. Why?”

Instead of answering she asked another question. “And just how much sleep have you had in the last 3 days?”

“Unimportant.” He is pretty sure he slept an hour last night, or maybe it was the night before.

“You know what, come get me. If I am going to leave school for the break then I may as well go in style.” She paused and he could picture her eyes narrowing as she delivered her ultimatum. “One condition, if you fail then I will refuse to get on the helicopter.”

Please don’t be to go to bed right now, he had a helicopter to steal….borrow. he had a helicopter to BORROW from his father.

“Someone other than you must be flying the helicopter. I don’t care if it is Damien, but you are too tired to fly it right now and should probably take a nap on the long flight over.”

“I can manage that, though Damien isn’t technically old enough for a pilot’s license.” He laughed, he bet Jason would be up to steal from Bruce.

“Fine, choose any other sibling or hero friend. Can Kon fly? I know he can fly but can he fly a…”

“Mari. It is almost midnight. Go to bed now. I promise I will find someone legally allowed to fly overseas in a helicopter. If I can’t then we will come as heroes and really shock your friends.”

She giggled.

Tim smiled softly, “Pack what you need for a two week stay. Or less, you know we have a sewing room just for you at the manor, still stocked with fabric.”

“Thanks Tim. I will see you tomorrow. Love you “

“Love you too Bug.” He released her phone from his control and dove back into planning. First step, contact Jason.

This was supposed to be more angst and more non-platonic but the characters decided to give me the finger and do their own thing. So now we have really over the top affectionate best friends. I did have a friendship like this. People that didn’t know better always assumed we were dating.

taglist: @novemberandmay

[hopeshoodie]

Ok so I finally got caught up on CMM (anon, I have a lot going on right now, maybe don’t send me over ten asks with spoilers in them… I pinkie promise I’ll post once I read it) and thoughts-

Obviously the big one is Shannon and Hope. I would’ve paid all my gems to talk to either one of them, but I’m still a little salty that we did have to pay. For such a short scene, they recycled 30% of the dialogue towards the beginning and that was annoying. It would’ve been so easy to make them unique. Hope absolutely would have been insecure and said ‘did anyone ask about me’, but Shannon wouldn’t. Shannon doesn’t care, she could’ve said something like “lol does anyone even remember me?” or “it’s totally fine, sounds like it was an original islanders only party”. The reasons they gave for not being there were pretty good, and it makes me feel better than in-canon they weren’t un-invited. Hope’s part was much longer than Shannon’s but I liked Shannon’s more.

My big issue with the phone calls was that Hope’s call was just… flat. In the villa, Hope was smiling all the time, super expressive and warm, and her call just seemed really… flat. It lacked a warmth that being BFFs with her merits. And the conceit, that she’s at a stuffy wellness retreat trying to schmooze a client with her boss, would’ve been really ripe for her being expressive. Like “omg thank god a normal person, I’ve been doing nothing but smiling and agreeing all weekend”. I did like how she expressed insecurity and then corrected herself, it showed a lot of growth. I just wish there would’ve been more sincerity and personality.

I’m not mad about Chelsea and Rocco. I kinda don’t think they’ll last, because Rocco will eventually move on and Chelsea is desperately trying to cling to the experience of the villa through him. But I feel like it was effectively foreshadowed, and seems pretty in character for the both of them. It’s not the redemption arc I was hoping for Rocco though, I still hope Rocco sits down with Lottie or Priya and properly apologizes.

Chelsea’s password being BRA? Jesus christ, give it a rest, FB. She has more than one personality trait. The CMM writers really just latched onto 1-2 cute moments with each character in the main season and decided “this is all they think and talk about”. Same with Hope saying pacifically again and Priya’s gauche sunflower print.

The escape room bit was fun, but I wish the riddles hadn’t been multiple choice (instead the typing in thing and if you get it right Chelsea’s excited but otherwise has stock lines like ‘not quite… it’s a mirror!’). Also it would’ve been more fun if another character was trapped with MC, just to see them try to solve it. The humor in that section was good though, I especially liked the reaction to throwing the box at the wall.

LOVED the new outfits, they’re all super cute but like… Why did I spent 10 gems when literally no one’s going to acknowledge the costume change?? Like surely someone would be like “what… happened? Why did you change?” or even “you changed because you’re the murderer and were getting blood off your clothes!”. But nothing.

I’m not super invested in the mystery, and I don’t really mind that. The characters and their reminiscing is more important. But like… I don’t think the clues were handled very compellingly. The clues aren’t really tied to any one specific person, and they’re not insight into how the murders took place or what enabled the person to get away. It’s just… Here’s a note Chelsea gave you, here’s a thing that was at the scene. I’d like it more if it was things like ‘a bare footprint, a half drank wine glass, a cypher with a puzzle attached’. Something that you could be like ‘x character wouldn’t know how to do that, x character likes wine’ etc. 

Also I don’t love how it seems like the murderer changes based on your choices? Like if they’ve coded it so that everyone’s possibly the murderer and it’s just revealed based on player choice who it is that’s not… A mystery… Like I’d much prefer if only 1 person was the murderer, or there was a pre-set killer for each victim.

Lucas died in my game (I’m romancing Priya), and there was a chance to flirt with him before he died. I know other people had Lottie die if Gary was the LI, so who dies if Bobby is your LI? Can you romance Lottie and the other person?

My eggs are still all in the ‘Noah’s the murderer’ basket.

I really hate how explicit the switch between the mystery and socializing has been. Obviously that’s a facet of everyone playing characters, but like three times now there’s been “let’s get back to the mystery!” or “let’s stop the mystery to socialize” and it just feels clunky and breaks up the story. I’d prefer if all of the characters collectively disregarded the characters they’re playing, except when clearly delivering dialogue in reaction to things, so that there’s less “are you in character right now or are you you?”. I’d also change it so that everyone really casually talks about their theories and the mystery but for the most part isn’t super invested in it. That way the player can choose to be the only one who cares about the mystery and solving it, or we can do away with the back and forth about it. I don’t know, I’m just not a fan of how we keep interrupting GOOD scenes like MC/her LI bonding, reminiscing with people, or Chelsea announcing her relationship to be like ‘lol let’s talk about a mystery’.

I’m shipping Lucas and Priya more than MC and Priya because when romancing her, Priya really doesn’t have any personality outside of ‘interested in MC’, versus when she’s roleplaying with Lucas or around everyone else she’s back to being herself. It’s creating this weird dynamic where the writing makes it seem like Priya is /uncomfortable/ or not herself when romancing MC, to the point where I feel guilty?? Like she seemed more in-character and excited when talking about a guy who dumped her than she has been when kissing and doing the nasty with MC all night. Like honestly you could replace her with Rahim in all her romance scenes and it would be more in-character for Rahim.

Overall I’m... Enjoying it. Like I’m not stopping mid-episode to do something else like I was with S3. But tbh I think I enjoyed Boat Party more, and I’m really only thinking about specific scenes and headcanons after putting my phone down (as opposed to S2 and S1 which lived in my head rent free after playing an episode) 

Maybe part of that is I have a really poor working memory and prefer to binge consume media instead of playing it week by week, so I lose interest each week. Once it’s fully released I’ll have to play it in one go and let yall know if it’s actually bad or I’m just bad. 

[kayla1507]

Your first D:BH playthrough!

Sooo, I’m curious to hear how other people experienced their game for the first time, thus kickstarting a little thread. What choices did you guys make in your blind run, how did these make you feel and what would you have liked to change looking back (if anything at all)?

Starting with my own blind experience.

Markus:

Markus’ story was a flip-flopping between pacifism and violence since I wasn’t sure where to take his story at first. He seemed like that nice guy next door which made me lean more towards pacifism. However, I did push Leo because I felt like Carl was being unfair to me, then felt bad thinking I killed Carl’s kid.

While I liked the Jericrew, I wasn’t truly invested in them yet, that attachment developed only with repeated playthroughs. Markus stole the truck in Spare Parts. He sent a peaceful message at Stratford Tower and shot the operator, thus my Simon escaped with the crew. Markus sent a peaceful message at Capitol Park and chose not to decide over the lives of two cops, meaning the other deviants shot them dead. He didn’t ask about North’s past again (although I did ask in chapter Jericho) since I assumed she wouldn’t like that.

At the freedom march I endured the police shooting at first and that’s roughly the point where I stopped caring about public opinion. Watching the fellow androids being gunned down in order for public opinion to rise up made me realize that humans will only be pleased if Markus keeps sacrificing his kind and crawls on his knees to kiss his oppressor’s feet. I beat the riot team up and my final public opinion stat read either skeptical or hostile iirc, I stopped paying attention to it.

My Markus choose a revolution and freed Kara, Luther and Alice from the detention camp, which is my favorite ending for him by far. Unfortunately, Josh and Simon both died during the attack. Markus and North left off as companions and I was overall really happy with the conclusion.

Thoughts: There isn’t really much I would’ve changed about Markus’ choices except succeeding to save Simon in battle.

Connor:

Connor was someone I’ve played more reckless than Markus to test out limits, partially because he was my introduction character. I was overall leaning towards android terminator with him, except I saved the fish and saved Hank during the the rooftop chase. I didn’t like Hank at first, I felt he was bigoted and my effort in improving our relationship was abysmal. Connor executed Daniel, spilled Hank‘s drink, pressured Ortiz’ android into a confession, shot Traci, shot the kitchen deviant, shot Chloe and asked Kamski about rA9.

I triggered that awkward variation where Markus deviated Connor with barely enough software instabilities, mostly because I couldn’t stand Amanda’s attitude and purposely picked the 'soft boy' dialogue to piss her off which did its part destabilizing software. Hank didn’t offer to help Connor out with Perkins, but I won him over by saving Hank again at CyberLife Tower and they hugged after the credits rolled. Connor remained mark -51, he never died.

Thoughts: Connor’s ending was ok, but I thought hugs and instant friendship didn’t fit my poor relationship to Hank before the Tower. If I could go back, I’d have Connor stay on the machine path and reserve their hug for a healthier relationship dynamic in a different run. I can’t really connect with their friendship or CyberLife HQ to this day and I presume my first ending soured it considerably. A moment that struck me as odd was Hank‘s „I‘ve learned a lot since I met you“-line after killing Sixty. I didn’t feel like my 'frenemy' Connor taught Hank anything.

Initially, I was disappointed to have never figured out the mystery of rA9 since that’s the factor of Connor’s investigation I was most invested in. Meanwhile, I believe the answer is better off left ambiguous.

Kara:

Now Kara’s story was the primary factor that got me invested in the whole android cause. Her relationship to Alice reminded me of me and my baby brother and I was determined to protect the child at all costs. While Kara did find Todd’s gun, she went to Alice’s room immediately to collect her and they climbed out if the window, avoiding a fight with Todd altogether. In Fugitives, Kara stole clothes for both of them at the laundromat as well as a plushie for Alice and slept in the Squat with Ralph. I freed the tortured androids in Zlatko and Luther joined.

Kara reached the highest stat [family] with Alice as well as with Luther. I felt like the 'shocking' Alice reveal in Crossroads didn’t matter considering it’s a story about android equality. So I was surprised to find out it is apparently a huge dealbreaker in the fandom.

During the raid, Kara and Alice were captured after I choose to surrender. They were sent to the camp, reunited with Luther and were ultimately saved by Markus himself. It was an incredibly emotional experience and it’s also my favorite ending for them to this day.

Thoughts: Looking back, I would’ve preferred grabbing Todd’s gun in Stormy Night since the storyline with Todd remained vastly unresolved and I would’ve gotten more additional choices in Fugitives. Other than that, I’m super satisfied with my result.

—

My blind playthrough is what I also consider my canon ending, whereas the other variations are just my “what would’ve been if…” endings. Not to say I don’t like the other endings too, but my own just has a special place in my heart.

[snicketstrange]

Chapter 8:

Lemony apparently really has something against museums ... I think I can say that The End connects with ATWQ by making references to the invasion of museums, like the introduction to chapter 8.

I also want to highlight again the narration involving the thoughts of the Baudelaires. The way Lemony narrates such thoughts shows that he had access to those thoughts. This is not a guess or a trick, as he does not repeat this ability with other characters. Lemony certainly read what the Baudelaires themselves wrote about their own thoughts and feelings.

Kit confirms that sooner or later everything appears on the island. The number of people who claim this is so great that it cannot be denied.

Kit's associates talked about how the island was a very fun place before. Kit's description is very much like the reception Lemony claims to have had when he was shipwrecked. I hope this indicates that the island was once again inhabited by nice people after the Baudelaires left, although it may indicate that Lemony was shipwrecked twice ... once before Ish's arrival and once after Ish's departure. .

Kit claims that she had been informed by Thursday that the colony had suffered a schism as VFD suffered. This increases our understanding of what happened on the island a few years earlier. Shortly after Beatrice and Bertrand left, the island continued to be a fun place for some time. If Friday is about 8 years old, and Violet is 14 years old, over a 6 year period, the island was a fun place until there was the island schism. On the island's schism, Thursday parted ways with Miranda. He met Kit, and was able to describe the island as a fun place, but one that had gone through a recent schism. It is true that Miranda and Thursday may have arrived on the island just before Cisma happened, but it was enough time for Thursday to have good memories of the time he spent there.

I found it interesting that Kit also claims that the story of VFD is not the only story in the world ... She uses a phraseology very similar to what Olaf used to refer to the story of the Baudelaires.

"The telegram device fell on my legs when the submarine was attacked. I need your help, Baudelaires. I need to be someplace safe."

Kit said her foot injuries were caused by the telegraph that fell on her feet when the sub was attacked. But then, if I'm not mistaken, she explains that the submarine was not attacked, but by accident the Hector House plummeted in the submarine. So why did she say the sub was attacked? When and how did it happen? Did this really happen?

Kit is a really enigmatic character. As I already explained, Kit was part of a VFD faction that was not entirely pacifist but at the same time was not in favor of using weapons of mass destruction to kill enemies (like the deadly fungus MM). But we have clear evidence of Kit's gray view of peace in the following excerpts:

"Mrs. Caliban?" said Kit, in the darkness. "Miranda Caliban is here?" "Yes," Finn said. "Do you know her?" "I know her husband," Kit said. "He and I stood together in a time of great struggle, and we're still very good friends."

...

"Absolutely not!" cried Kit, from the top of the raft. "I won't hear of you putting your talents to such nefarious use, Baudelaires. I'm sure the island can solve its difficulties without resorting to violence."

"Did you solve your difficulties without resorting to violence?" Erewhon asked sharply. "Is that how you survived the great struggle you mentioned, and ended up shipwrecked on a raft of books?"

"My history is not important," Kit replied. "I'm worried about the Baudelaires."

Kit Snicket was on the defensive. She really seemed to be a hypocrite at this point: she defended pacifism but she herself had admittedly participated in violent battles. I am not judging Kit, but I want to highlight the fact that Kit continued to demonstrate the same attitude of years before: she agreed that violence is necessary from time to time, but she does not like it. Kit demonstrates the same attitude as Lemony Snicket on ATWQ in book 4.

The question is to what extent Kit speaks the truth: she did not speak about Dewey to the Baudelaires when she met them the first time. Then she said the submarine was attacked. And now it was understood (through her defensive attitude) that what brought her to the island was in fact the participation in some violent activity. It is interesting that she gives an excuse similar to what Captain W gave Fiona about her mother, and the excuse that Miranda gave Friday about her father: a marine entity devoured them. I wonder to what extent the story about what happened to the W family and the Quagmires is real and not an attempt to romanticize a possible schism.

The shine of the flashlight reminded Klaus of all of the nights he spent reading under the covers in the Baudelaire mansion, while outside the night made mysterious noises his parents always insisted were nothing more than the wind, even on windless evenings."

This is a clear reference to the recruitment procedures for VFD as shown in LSTUA. Beatrice and Bertrand refused to allow their children to enter VFD. Evidently, they preferred a type of home education for children. They tried to educate their children in skills (similar to skills that would be developed in VFD schools) in their own home.

The riot is quite representative: The Baudelaires were put in a situation where they had no choice but to support one side of the schism. This certainly made her think that many of the volunteers were placed in similar situations, and ended up being forced into a war that they did not even want to enter. This time it was all very explicit: those who planned the riot were willing to fight (and probably kill their neighbors). They wanted weapons and allies. This was exactly the opposite philosophy to that taught by Ish, who preached total pacifism. We can see the Great Schism of VFD represented here: one side preached that the world should be quiet while the other preached that fire is fought with fire.

"The children traveled in the dark, just as so many other people had done before them, from the nomadic travels of the Cimmerians to the desperate voyages of the Quagmire triplets, who at that very moment were in circumstances just as dark although quite a bit damper than the Baudelaires', and as the children drew closer and closer to the island that had abandoned them, their thoughts made them heavier and heavier, and the Baudelaire orphans wished things were very different indeed."

This stretch is really interesting. As I said, when Lemony narrates his story, he is trying to narrate what he believes to be true. This means that Lemony was able to synchronize the history of the Baudelaires with the history of the Quagmires. If what Kit said about the end of the Quagmires meant that they did indeed die, it would be impossible for Lemony to know the Quagmires were at that very moment. Lemony manages to synchronize the stories because the Quagmires survived and were able to narrate their own story to Lemony directly or indirectly about what really happened.

Lemony talks about desperate voyages (in the plural). They did more than one voyage, they felt desperate while doing them. Although Kit spoke the truth about the gigantic entity in the form of a question mark, the fact is that they survived, made several trips and felt desperate while traveling. There is a possibility that submarine Q has been attacked, however, as the first version of Kit's story seems to indicate, and that led the Quagmires to be taken, and so the voyages were desperate

[stillbandofbrothersthirsty]

As Far As Friends Go

Chapter 25 (Chapter 1; Chapter 2; Chapter 3; ... Chapter 24)

Hi all! I just realised this is the second to last chapter of As Far As Friends Go, so I wanted to take a moment to say thank you to anyone who has read and followed this story. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. Your support and encouragement means so much! xx Em

Winters - April 1945

A new page had turned in the war and Dick Winters was beginning to look to the next step. The Allies’ proximity to victory had became more apparent with Hitler’s death that April. Although his work was far from done in Europe, the further they moved into Germany the more Winters sensed things were changing. Generally, the mood among his men had shifted. Now the Major was more concerned with containing his men’s fraternization rather than protecting them from artillery fire. A happy problem to have, he thought, yet his pragmatic nature suspected they weren’t done being tested. Violence was still raging at full force in the Pacific and little did they know what awaited them in the depths of the Rhineland.

Winters suspicions were validated. Their trucks had passed through green plains peppered with picturesque farms tended to by attractive Bavarian women. From the state of the locals homes and resources there was no anticipating what the soldiers of Easy Company would find in Landsberg.

There are no words to adequately characterize the level of depravity indulged in by the Nazi’s who orchestrated the imprisonment, abuse, and murder of other human beings.

Winters was determined to witness the Kaufering concentration camp in its entirety; at the very least to acknowledge the savagery the victims and survivors were forced to endure. And so he stood helmet under arm, gripping his wrist in an effort to maintain his composure as a boxcar was opened to reveal one of many informal mass graves.

Until Landsberg, Winters had been comfortable in the knowledge that he was fighting on principle to defend his nation and it’s allies. It was humbling to realize there had been a greater war of morality going on. Winters couldn’t help but wonder what - or who - could have been saved if only they hadn’t been ignorant.

But it wasn’t in Winters nature to dwell on regret for long. Regret only robbed the present of action. The Allied Intelligence operation was industriously collecting information on camps across Eastern Europe. There was more work than ever as people, communities, and nations across the continent began to recover.

A knock sounded on the doorframe leading into Winters’ temporary command post,  “Major Winters,” Emily poked her head into his office.

Winters looked up from the report he was reading, “Emily, come on in.”

“Hi,” she smiled timidly. Though they got along splendidly when off duty, a somewhat awkward formality settled between them when discussing work matters. Winters preferred it this way and he appreciated Emily’s deference to decorum.

“Am I disturbing you?” she asked.

“No,” Winters sighed, “I’m not accomplishing anything,” his face twisted in distaste. He dropped the report he was looking at unceremoniously on his desk. “It’s late, I hope you’re not still working.”

“All done,” Emily smiled and dropped a manila folder into his inbox, “I was going to wait to drop this off in the morning but I ran into Marwa earlier. She thought you might be hungry and wanted me to give you this,” she tossed Winters an apple. Winters felt an unexpected pang of disappointment. He wouldn’t have minded if Marwa dropped off the apple.

“Thanks, that was nice of Nurse Gamal. And you,” he said as an after thought.

Emily shrugged, “I’m just the delivery woman.”

“Please tell me this isn’t anything pressing,” Winters gestured to the report she had dropped off.

Emily laughed, “don’t worry, nothing that needs immediate attention.”

“Good,” Winters relaxed back in his seat. “So you and Nix,” he asked. He couldn’t resist the little smile that twisted at his lips, “you both seem happier lately.”

“Yeah,” Emily blushed, “things are as good as they can be. Ya know,” she gestured, “all things considering."

“So Nix told ya then?” Winters bit into the apple.

“About the camp?” Emily’s tone changed, “yeah, that was terrible. I can’t believe how many there are. We’ve been trying to map them as the information becomes available.”

Winters nodded, “great, I was speaking more on a personal level,” he gestured between Emily and imaginary figure of Nixon, “between you and Lew.”

“Oh, on a personal level? Told me?” Emily looked confused.

Winters’ chewing slowed as it dawned on him what he may have just revealed. “Uh, about Kathy?”
 Emily cocked her head, questioning. Well, Winters thought, he may as well just say it at this point, “she’s leaving him.”

Emily’s mouth dropped in shock but she quickly composed herself. “Oh,” her voice was a higher pitch than it was before, “that’s got to be tough for the kids.”

Winters had to keep himself from chuckling. This was why he liked Emily; it was poised answer that was respectful but genuine. Winters was no proponent for adultery but in this case, he was able to grant some grace. He was never a fan of Kathy not because she was a bad person but simply because he didn’t get along with her. And, based off of Winters own personal observations, neither did Nix.

Kathy played the games of society, something that Emily seemed to consciously reject which was much more on par with Nixon’s irreverent nature. Sometimes Winters worried that Emily and Nixon were far too alike. Sure, things were good now but their similar personalities were bound to get them into trouble again. Yet, Winters was glad his friend had found someone who understood him completely and honestly.

“Well, if you’re finished up here we’re going to have a drink as a sort of send off for Marwa if you want to join us,” Emily interrupted his thoughts.

“Oh, I, uh,” Winters hesitated.

“I mean, Lew and I are going to have a drink. Marwa doesn’t drink either,” Emily winked at him.

“Oh,” Winters felt inexplicably rattled. He was momentarily overwhelmed by the news of Marwa leaving and Emily’s conspiratorial gesture. “Yeah,” he stood so abruptly his chair nearly tipped back behind him, “sure, why not.”

Winters followed Emily downstairs to a room in the manor in which their friends were posted up. Harry Welsh and Marwa were chatting animatedly on a worn out red settee in the corner as Nixon stared pensively into a clear glass of schnapps. Winters watched as he took a sip and grimaced. Good, Winters thought to himself, maybe he’ll hate the stuff so much he’ll be forced to quit it.

Winters took a seat next to his friend, “how you doing, Nix?”

Nixon looked up as if surprised at his friends presence, “good, good.”

Winters smiled, “you seem good.”

Winters didn’t miss the smile Nixon suppressed. He could tell his friend was on the verge of saying something so he remained silent.

“I want to ask Emily to marry me when all this business with Kathy is settled.”

A little half-smile played at Winters mouth, “that’s great, Nix.”

Nixon hesitated, “but what if we fight again Dick?” There was a new sort of vulnerability in his voice. “Well, you probably will,” Winters said.

Nixon’s fingers danced around the rim of his glass, “I mean- I mean really fight. What if she doesn’t want to speak to me again.”

Winters paused, considering his friends words, “look, I’ve never been married, but I think you decide either you’re in or you’re out. And, if you decide you’re in then you commit.”

There was a fearful sort of hope in Nixon’s eyes. “So yeah you’ll fight,” Winters continued, “but if you’re committed to working it out you eventually will.”

Nixon nodded slowly, “thanks, Dick.” He threw back the rest of his drink, “you’ll be my best man, of course?”

Winters chuckled, “why don’t you get the bride on board first.”

The friends sat in companionable silence. They watched their friends lounge about the room chatting; their smiles made it almost unbelievable that war had ever touched them. Winters’ eyes lingered on Marwa who was perched on the arm of a couch laughing at something Harry had said. Winters noticed how shiny her black hair was and how bright her smile looked against her toasted skin. She wore a slightly outdated gray two-piece; she insisted that it was inappropriate to socialize while in uniform. Winters admired this attitude greatly. He had grown to admire a lot of things about the seasoned nurse since Bastogne.

Beside him Nixon cleared his throat, “anything going on with you?” he asked with a twinkle in his eye.

Winters eyes jerked away from Marwa guiltily, “what? No,” he answered quickly.

Nixon smiled and nodded, “she’s a hell of a woman.” He was saying it for Winters benefit, but his eyes were on Emily.

Winters nodded in agreement, “she sure is,” he looked back at Marwa.