#she owes me so much

[im-a-lil-bitch-boi]

gods i hate when my mom gets mad, cuz she'll basically turn into a giant toddler and throw a fit and yell at anyone and everyone that she sees is "in the wrong" or "did her dirty".

like she got mad at me bc she couldnt find her work clothes and instead of simply askin for us(us bc she began to blame my lil sister too) to go and check if thdy were hung up or still in the washer or even if she didnt put them in the dirty hamper, no. she had to yell about her clothes bein missin(keep in mind, when my clothes go missing she tells me it doesnt matter even tho its usually clothes i bought. and ion make a fuss abouf the clothes she bought me bc im so used to her takin stuff she bought me and givin them to my siblings, usually my lil sister as i "dont need them anymore").

she literally threatened to kick me out(which is legal as im an adult, however ik thats not gonna be the case cuz a couple of months ago she told me to take my stuff and leave and do nothin else but also refused to allow me to go and kept on snatchin everything outve my hands and told to to deep clean instead, AND THEN kept yellin at me to leave), and im honestly surprised she didnt yank my around by my hair like she did last time. then again she wasnt drunk this time so that might be y.

im so fuckin tired and stressed and now i cant even sleep bc im wide awake after lookin for a stupid shirt that she quite honestly couldve got up and looked for herself instead of sittin in her room amd throwin a bitch fit over it not bein where she wants it.

its so fuckin exhaustin to be continued to be pushed to my limit jus bc she can do it. my limit is not the same as ur lady, especially when u cant even get up and walk to the damn store for urself. idc if ur sick u sent me when i was sick, u sent me multiple times when i was sick and injured and didnt care. u sent me to get smth and got mad when i got it sayin "u shouldve known that not wut i wanted?!" then y was it on ur mimd? y'd u tell me to get it?! jus except u misspoke and stop blamin me like i can read mimds. i cant so leave me tf alone

[puppyeared]

au where asriel comes home early

[pr1nce-elias]

started reading Gideon the Ninth yesterday. I'm putting Gideon in a "God's favorite princess" shirt in my head and handing her a beer. i think she'd like that

[gloww0rms]

“You know, when you lose, you lose.

But when you win, you expect some kind of reward... and there isn't any.”

[missazura]

I'm at the brink of a suicidal breakdown. I've been waiting to get my paycheck from an illustration job I've done last October 2023, I did ask them about it and said that I would get paid on the 27th. It's the 28th and I still don't see any updates on my end. I've gotten my hopes up for so long, every month since and I've burnt the fuck out from waiting.

I've been refraining myself from eating and buy myself stuff like food and toiletries and I've completely ran out of money to survive. I wish i could accept commissions but I haven't been doing great mental and physical wise and I don't have the means to draw other than a few sketches to cheer myself up. I'm completely burnt out.

If you could help spread this around I would appreciate it, every bit helps at least to cover my necessities for a while until I hope to eventually get paid

I'm sorry for asking for donations so frequently I just can't hold on for much longer in this state

Donations and reblogs are appreciated, thank you

[inkskinned]

it is all love.

sometimes you will see something saying what if it is all worth it or it gets better, doesn't it and in the little heart of you - you feel a darkness.

was it love, the way i was hurt? some things don't have a lesson in them. no silver lining. they were bad things, and they shouldn't have happened. i'm sorry they did. i am sorry they warp the space they hold in you. we tightrope walk around an ever-present grave. we carry that ache for so long it becomes smooth, overworn. i worry that i'll bore my therapist - despite all of my attempts, the pain persists the same, as sharp as it always was.

but it was all love.

every ugly moment after. every bad night. every time you drank too much and cried on the bathroom floor. every time you threw up from anxiety, every time you panicked in the grocery store. everything you ruined, and everything you walked away from.

some small part of you loved you enough. made you get up. made you wash your face and clean your teeth and call home. made you try again, even from the bottom. even when you were so tired of it; of restarting, of having to do-it-all-again. some part of you reached out. some part of you reached up. even there, in the bad spot - you somehow got up.

love will so rarely be big. it will so rarely be a moment like a dawn. love is shy, i think. she keeps her hands in front of her cheeks. she waits to peek out. and if you're not looking, she will look - normal.

but it will all be love. the way you pour yourself a glass of water. the little rabbit outside your window. your friend pushing your hair behind your ear. the way your dog greets you at the door. "put on a seatbelt". "text me when you get home safe". "oh, i started watching that show you love." "have you been okay?" "let's go for a walk" "whatcha doin?" "what should i make for dinner?"

oh, my life is so different these days. i don't have a partner. i call my friends a lot. i keep falling in love with the little tender moments; the glittering ones. you know, the bird in a puddle and the shush of a newly-lit candle. the movie-moments.

i am also learning to love the ugly. every moment i spent belly-flat to the floor, anxious and panting. every hour i stared at nothing, losing time to my adhd. every missed opportunity and bad memory. i am not doing well. i am spiralling.

but somewhere in there, while i am reduced to ashes. some part of me is an ever-burning ember. her little thankless job, her shy and croaking voice. she holds me to my body. she doesn't let me go. stay, she whispers. out of love. my love. wherever it goes.

some of the bad things that happened to me will always be bad. they did not make me a better person. they made me worse. i only learned what i can endure. and i did endure it. and love wasn't just the perfumed moments. love was just ... staying. while it's ugly and hard and horrible. love was just saying:

okay. i will keep trying. keep going. i owe it to the version of myself who brought me here. i owe it to my future. i owe it to the small loves i have found since - the music and the new recipes and the new books and the new hobbies. i owe it to myself to wait for the next best thing. this wall we have hit - love says keep walking. maybe one day we will find a door.

always, always: just one try more.

[tojisun]

that “do you think we’re still __ in any universe?” makes me ill because i remember that one time my sister and i had a convo about if we weren’t siblings in another universe, would we still be friends at least? and she gave me this self-deprecating laugh and said, “i don’t think you’d even wanna be friends with me” as a testament to how different we are and i just crumbled in front of her sobbing

[softavasilva]

now how do i normally go about my day after having read this

[okkennymay]

Made a lil birthday present for my dad for his Birthday <3 Made in one frantic afternoon because I have no concept of time and the day itself crept up on me before I knew it @c@

[godbirdart]

Congrats on your soon-to-be titlessness! If you don't mind my input I've got some advice on recovery based on what I've found docs don't always tell people.

-get a shower chair. Even a plastic lawn chair will do, but showering after major surgery is SO tiring

-drainage is gonna be so much grosser than you think and that's cool and fine and normal

-the padded wrapping that goes under the compression vest to keep things clean can be kind of expensive? So if you don't want to buy them, clean menstrual pads are actually a completely fine alternative

-wear button ups and kimono type robes during recovery, cause you won't be able to lift your arms for a really long time

-major torso surgery leaves people bloated for up to a month. Pair that with no tits when you're used to seeing tits and you're gonna feel really dismorphic for a while. Like the bug worm guys from MiB. This is also normal so no worries 👍

-I don't know your personal support system so if you don't have family or friends who can take care of you in the couple weeks directly after the surgery, you should stock up on ready made meals. Everything is exhausting after surgery.

Enjoy your flat chest and best of luck!!

!!! MANY THANK YOUS FOR THIS i hope it's okay i go ahead and post this for anyone else that might be goin through tiddy-b-gone surgery in the future!!

didn't know about the bloating so i will keep that in mind!!! cannot wait to be a WORM for a bit

[navree]

i request monetary compensation from all the bitches in season 4 who were whining at jon about how immoral it was for him to ask people questions when apparently he could have been making people run to death or otherwise kill them after forcing statements (without even having to ask a question). y'all got the nicest version of what the archivist could be and you were assholes about it for no reason, shame shame i know your name

[randomsockoctopus]

i try to avoid the leaks but i just opened tumblr and everyone's talking about my girl nobara being back...

[starrybobatea]

absolutely nothing on god’s green earth could ever make me hate her btw

[romulussy]

genuinely funny (and mildly irritating) to see so many people up in arms about gerri's refusal to comfort roman lol. when the stone cold killer bitch is a stone cold killer bitch :/

[carefulfears]

the scully of fight the future who doesn’t want a career in the bureau at all if she can’t do it with him. who debated even telling him that she’s quitting in person, and feels like her loss won’t even make a difference: he doesn’t need her, she only holds him back. the scully who doesn’t even make it to the elevator. the way that as soon as he starts speaking, she goes silent. she can’t even respond. this is not a debate. tears just pour down her face, as he tells her that she owes nothing. that she has made her favorite person, a “whole” person. that she has saved him “a thousand times over.” and she stays completely silent. all she can do is cry, and hold him, and kiss his forehead. how small she must feel sometimes…being dragged from one spot to the next, following along. the way her face just collapses as she moves from holding onto his shoulder to pull him down to her. he breaks her open sometimes.

[autumiaxx]

Cold was the steel of my axe to grind

For the boys that broke my heart

Now I send their babies presents