#she owes me so much

[im-a-lil-bitch-boi]

gods i hate when my mom gets mad, cuz she'll basically turn into a giant toddler and throw a fit and yell at anyone and everyone that she sees is "in the wrong" or "did her dirty".

like she got mad at me bc she couldnt find her work clothes and instead of simply askin for us(us bc she began to blame my lil sister too) to go and check if thdy were hung up or still in the washer or even if she didnt put them in the dirty hamper, no. she had to yell about her clothes bein missin(keep in mind, when my clothes go missing she tells me it doesnt matter even tho its usually clothes i bought. and ion make a fuss abouf the clothes she bought me bc im so used to her takin stuff she bought me and givin them to my siblings, usually my lil sister as i "dont need them anymore").

she literally threatened to kick me out(which is legal as im an adult, however ik thats not gonna be the case cuz a couple of months ago she told me to take my stuff and leave and do nothin else but also refused to allow me to go and kept on snatchin everything outve my hands and told to to deep clean instead, AND THEN kept yellin at me to leave), and im honestly surprised she didnt yank my around by my hair like she did last time. then again she wasnt drunk this time so that might be y.

im so fuckin tired and stressed and now i cant even sleep bc im wide awake after lookin for a stupid shirt that she quite honestly couldve got up and looked for herself instead of sittin in her room amd throwin a bitch fit over it not bein where she wants it.

its so fuckin exhaustin to be continued to be pushed to my limit jus bc she can do it. my limit is not the same as ur lady, especially when u cant even get up and walk to the damn store for urself. idc if ur sick u sent me when i was sick, u sent me multiple times when i was sick and injured and didnt care. u sent me to get smth and got mad when i got it sayin "u shouldve known that not wut i wanted?!" then y was it on ur mimd? y'd u tell me to get it?! jus except u misspoke and stop blamin me like i can read mimds. i cant so leave me tf alone

[kirkyardbones]

No thoughts behind those big boba eyes.

[all-seeingelias]

started reading Gideon the Ninth yesterday. I'm putting Gideon in a "God's favorite princess" shirt in my head and handing her a beer. i think she'd like that

[drolta]

Not a day goes by where I don’t think about Claudia’s last words in her diary.

“Diaries are friends of last resort. I have found one not made of paper and glue. Fuck these vampires.”

[gloww0rms]

“You know, when you lose, you lose.

But when you win, you expect some kind of reward... and there isn't any.”

[tojisun]

that “do you think we’re still __ in any universe?” makes me ill because i remember that one time my sister and i had a convo about if we weren’t siblings in another universe, would we still be friends at least? and she gave me this self-deprecating laugh and said, “i don’t think you’d even wanna be friends with me” as a testament to how different we are and i just crumbled in front of her sobbing

[nocturnalnewsiestrash]

I've been thinking about Nicole as a character a lot lately and why she makes me (and others) feel the way we do. And for me the root annoyance with her is that she's boring. Boring as hell. And now I do not believe boring is a moral failure, but she was starting to grate on me and I wanted to introspect why I'm having this reaction because she's really causing no harm. Just kinda existing as a boring character.

And I think she's not only boring to us but also to the writers. I don't think they really know what to do with her, they're trying to throw her into a side romance plotline to give her a plot but as you can see no ones really investing in it at all.I think, by setting her up from the start as a regular ol' girl acting as the 3rd wheel friend they kinda cabashed her likability forever?? By that I mean she's made to be boring.

(sorry this is a long one)

And it's because she exists in this very specific area of holding a lot of introvert insecurities as character traits, having reactions to others and the plot through those insecurities, and kinda being included in plotlines as the least load bearing character in each of them. She's always just jumping into plotlines because that's what the others are doing or because she's trying in her own way to help. All of which she usually messes up a bit in and it's all very NORMAL.

Nicole kinda exists as this most rooted in normalcy character, doing what most normal teenagers would do: have insecurities, make mistakes because of those insecurities, have plans that get accomplished haphazardly cause that's what an underdeveloped prefrontal cortex does, have cringe failure moments. And when you have her, this VERY normalcy rooted character thrown in with high stakes, willing to commit every felony, alive teenagers all with very plot centered importance, and high stakes, very traumatized and layered and plot heavy ghosts, she seems EXTREMELY dull as a result.

Her boringness is put on display in full view and because it's a fictionalized story we all as viewers get far more invested in the fun, nuanced, plotline heavy characters who all feel very interesting and fictional. Nicole seems a little too realistic of a teenager and perhaps a little too familiar to our own insecurities and past or current teenage behaviors that our instinct is to recoil from her whether that's to protect our own feelings about ourselves or just because she feels a little uncanny as not as separately fictional as the rest. And because she isn't the most ambitious, and has the most externalizing social insecurities, and isn't really directly death plot focused she isn't all that important and we get bored of paying attention to her when we could be focusing on the more interesting and intriguing actions and behaviors and plots of any of the other characters.

It's not Nicole's fault that she meets at the perfect crossroads of character traits and plotlines that makes us bored of her, ambivalent to her, or even actively annoyed by her. It's normal for our instinct to find a character who seemingly only causes small hindrances in the more compelling storylines to find that character grating, and unfortunately that's the role Nicole occupies. If we want to try to mitigate our own annoyance, distaste, or ambivalence to her because she is just an teenage girl with insecurities and normal teenage mess ups at the end of the day, we can all try recognizing that she takes up the normal girl failure role and like isn't that interesting enough to analyze?? We don't often get characters in media who are so rooted in reality that we start to hate them. Maybe she deserves more compassion than we give her

[trickstersaint]

the scientist’s question: which acid will burn the rainbow out of the sky without leaving a scar? // july 2023 // on "The Birth-Mark" by Nathaniel Hawthorne

[another-faceless-girl]

okay okay ive had time to prosses and i just need to express how utterly tragic Louella and Lou Lou are to me yknow!??!

imagine your 12 years old and you practically get sentenced to death but look! heres your big brother hell protect you! maybe you even entertain this idea that you could win! your 12 after all and everything seems possible!

then you die and are lain at the dictatorsfeet as a threat a spark of rebellion even and maybe this could be your legacy! the one thing to make people remember you maybe your death could spark the rebellion or even just warm the flames! this could be what your remembered for!? oh but then they manage to cut the footage and your last piece of memory of maybe helping to start something is cut.

but oh no! people will remember that you were drawn in the reaping! there are always people who like to bet on underdogs so theres bound to be someone who remembers there was a little girl as tribute right? wrong.

theyve replaced you with someone who looks exactly like you but is crazy. that is how you are portrayed to the public all they see is a nuts little girl who cant possibly win the game thats all you are an imposter and a bad bet. no one will remember you and you will leave no legacy behind. your forever forgotten as just one weird tribute in the Quarter Quell.

now imagine being Lou Lou

taken away from everything you've ever known and loved. do you know why? no. you probably had nothing to do with it. maybe someone in your family rebelled a little too hard and now your facing the consequences. not like you can do anything about it.

youve been taken to The Capitol and your mind has been hacked what do you remember? what do you know? thats theres nothing but the drugs pumping through your veins and your "usefulness" keeping you alive thats for sure. your minds been shattered youve been shattered. who even were you? no one? nothing? no one worth fighting for definitely. no one worth remembering.

theres someone always whispering in your ear now telling you what to do listening to what someones saying you don't know what their saying you dont know anything! but thats what got you in this whole mess in the first place right? not knowing anything.

your reshaped now. you cant even remember what you looked like before but you know it wasnt this. you feel different. so different.

new people now. you cant even understand half the words that come out their mouth but its clear they dont like you and they dont want you there. where? here? what is here?

then your thrown somewhere. its pretty and colourful and you want to eat everything you possibly can it all smells so good but these people have gotten a handle on you and tell you not to eat anything. it kind of slides through your brain but you try to remember it.

then a boy gets in the way of something. he tells you to find Haymitch so you do! Hes hiding in a bush the silly guy! youll bring him back and you could all hug like you did before this weird pretty place.

he takes you with him and you feel like you almost belong somewhere. he reminds you of someone but it hurts to try and remember who. he musses your hair and keeps an eye out.

then you see something that you remember! it's lovely and warm and smells so good but oh no now it hurts it hurts so bad and why is this happening you barely got anytime to live as yourself and then you had to live as another girl and now your being smothered and theres Haymitch and everything hurts and maybe hes crying but it hurts and now your gone.

forever forgotten. what even happened to your family? did they watch the hunger games and recognise you? maybe. youll never know. you didnt even know yourself by the end of it forced to be some pretender of a girl you didnt even know. maybe you two would have been friends if you got the chance. oh well not like youll ever find out.

oh Louella if only youd had a chance to live.

oh Lou Lou if only youd had a chance to love.

[boku-no-anime-phase]

When Frieren said the time we have matters. It's not too late. No love however brief is wasted. We love what we love because of who we love. Life is worth living when we spend it with one another. Love is being proud of each other. Love is bearing with each other. Love is keeping your promises. Love is cherishing their memory. Love is meeting them where they are. Love is going after them. Love is outgrowing yourself to become the person they need you to be. Love is letting them show you the way.

[team5ds]

the worst part is i can't even say he's wrong. they certainly did figure out how to contribute the city by joining the wrgp. but like. this is one of those things where it literally does not make sense. this is insane levels of logic. "we're not sure how to contribute to the city. we think entering a magic the gathering tournament will help." like. imagine saying that fr when your parents ask what you're going to do after you graduate college. "idk. thought i'd play card games and figure it out, man"

[okkennymay]

Made a lil birthday present for my dad for his Birthday <3 Made in one frantic afternoon because I have no concept of time and the day itself crept up on me before I knew it @c@

[godbirdart]

Congrats on your soon-to-be titlessness! If you don't mind my input I've got some advice on recovery based on what I've found docs don't always tell people.

-get a shower chair. Even a plastic lawn chair will do, but showering after major surgery is SO tiring

-drainage is gonna be so much grosser than you think and that's cool and fine and normal

-the padded wrapping that goes under the compression vest to keep things clean can be kind of expensive? So if you don't want to buy them, clean menstrual pads are actually a completely fine alternative

-wear button ups and kimono type robes during recovery, cause you won't be able to lift your arms for a really long time

-major torso surgery leaves people bloated for up to a month. Pair that with no tits when you're used to seeing tits and you're gonna feel really dismorphic for a while. Like the bug worm guys from MiB. This is also normal so no worries 👍

-I don't know your personal support system so if you don't have family or friends who can take care of you in the couple weeks directly after the surgery, you should stock up on ready made meals. Everything is exhausting after surgery.

Enjoy your flat chest and best of luck!!

!!! MANY THANK YOUS FOR THIS i hope it's okay i go ahead and post this for anyone else that might be goin through tiddy-b-gone surgery in the future!!

didn't know about the bloating so i will keep that in mind!!! cannot wait to be a WORM for a bit

[navree]

i request monetary compensation from all the bitches in season 4 who were whining at jon about how immoral it was for him to ask people questions when apparently he could have been making people run to death or otherwise kill them after forcing statements (without even having to ask a question). y'all got the nicest version of what the archivist could be and you were assholes about it for no reason, shame shame i know your name

[peiskos-and-apricity]

History is going to look back on the people who voted for Trump the same way it looks back on the people who supported Nazis and I'm not even exaggerating. Be joyous in your victory now, but know that when your grandchildren talk about their family tree they're going to erase your name out of pure shame. I hope your heart weighs heavy with the pain you have brought to future generations. I hope it hurts.

[randomsockoctopus]

i try to avoid the leaks but i just opened tumblr and everyone's talking about my girl nobara being back...