#she never says oh id love to date you or i feel the same way

[mrfoox]

I hate how my brain works often but this time it's how attached I am to anyone i know/like.

I wish someone I knew and liked already fall in love with me so I can date them

I don't actively am interested in anyone of my friends in that way now but that idea is so... Safe and gentle and good for my mind

Then it's like.... Getting to know new people who can turn into potential partners? No... Thats scary. I don't know those people... I already have good people around me, can't they take one for the team?

[honeytama]

Make Your Move - Chapter 6

Noah Sebastian x Reader x Matt Dierkes

A/N: She’s back! A little thing; a minimal scene in this chapter may seem similar to a sound deck scene in Unveiled Hearts by @thefallennightmare. I noticed it after I read her story (which I love), but I chose not to rewrite my scene. No copying here, just great minds thinking alike <3

Fic Summary: Find in Fic Masterlist

Content and Warnings for Ch. 6: Lots of fluff and more dating! AHH, some suggestive content, some smut 18+, hands stuff (hand job/fingering etc), almost caught, semi-public

Word Count: 8k

Tag List:

@xxkittenkissesxx @exitwoundsx @jilliemiw86 @abiomens @lma1986

@flowery-mess @doomhands-jr @rain-down-on-me @justdamnpeachy @thatchickwiththecamera @narcissisticbehavior81

@xcllnt @somebodyels3

After Noah and you had your late-night tryst in the showers of the venue, the walk back to the bus felt desolate. You walked alone through the hallways and into the dark, humid night as you exited the venue into its back alleyway.

The grin on your face wanted to stay there; you wanted to be elated that both of the men that you were attracted to wanted you. However, your face falls when you realize that Matt was right: you’re not being fully truthful to him, or Noah.

You feel it’s hard to swallow when you think back to just ten minutes ago. Noah asked what you wanted to speak to him about and you dodged the question. Wanting to believe that your brain was foggy from the sight of Noah’s body, and that kiss, was half of your reasoning for lying, but the other half is that you really couldn’t bear telling Noah the truth.

Outside of the bus, you pace the side of it while listing the options available to you: don’t tell the two men that you kissed both of them the same night and risk their friendship and your relationship with them once they find out, or do tell them and risk it all anyway.

Everything about the situation made you feel gross and at a loss. If only you told Noah about Matt’s confession, then maybe you wouldn’t feel like you’re on track to manipulating them both in the process.

“Why?” You yell out into the night, holding your head in your hands.

You calm your senses and walk to hop onto the bus to head to Nashville, Tennessee. While in bed, you finally decide you should come clean to both of them as soon as possible to save you the heartache. In contrast to your decision, you thought, why not indulge yourself in the fantasy you had never thought possible?

—

A constant buzzing tone from your phone wakes you in the morning; you turn over in your bunk to grab it while noticing the bus isn’t moving. You must be outside of the Nashville venue already.

Without checking the caller ID, you hold the phone close to your ear and mumble, “Hello?”

“Good morning, loser, get out of bed,” Matt's voice is loud in your ear. You pull your phone away from your head and wipe the sleep from your eyes before responding.

“You’re such a bully, let me sleep,” you whine and check the time. Ten AM. It’s a bit later than when you would usually wake up. “Where are you?”

“I’m finishing a run with Noah. I’m on my way back to the venue, but he decided to go the extra mile,” he answers.

“Oh,” you’re lucky the fact that you just woke up can hide the lack of enthusiasm in your voice. You hope with everything in you that they didn't share the things they did with you the night before. They could have been laughing at you. They could’ve been plotting to “dump” you. They could be planning to fire you from the tour. Clenching your eyes closed to push back these intrusive thoughts you finally respond, “Sounds fun.”

“Yeah, it was,” he says, unfazed by your tone. “Anyway, I called because I was wondering if you had plans at, let’s say, noon?”

“Yes, I plan to rot in bed with my phone six inches from my face until they need us to work later,” you explain, matter-of-factly.

“So you’re saying you wouldn't want to go out on a date with me?”

This shocks you awake and you sit up on your bunk. The crown of your head bumps the top of the enclosed space, “Ouch, fuck!”

Matt laughs over the phone, but questions, “You good?”

“Yeah, I just banged my head on the top of my bunk.” You rub the throbbing spot on your head as you return to reality, “You’re asking me out?”

“Yup,” he pops the “P” in the word. Even though he isn’t there with you, you can just see the smug look on his face. “There’s a hot chicken place I’ve been wanting to try since we’re in Nashville and I thought I should finally take you out. You know, just you and me, like we said.”

You never thought that this day would come, but you remember your decision to be open and honest with the two boys. This would be the first time you addressed the elephant in the room, “Does it still bother you that I went out with Noah a few days ago?”

He hums softly. “I’m getting over it. I did give you two permission,” he says. “But, I figured, since I told you how I felt last night… and our kiss,” he pauses again, “you would want to start hanging out with me, too. Just not as friends.”

You bite your lip and sway in your bunk. “You want to date me,” you sing in his ear, teasingly.

“Don’t make me take it back, Y/N,” he grumbles.

“Okay, okay! Yes, I’ll go out with you,” you say quickly. “I’ll be ready at 11:45! Is it close by?”

“Sure is, we can walk there together. Wear something cute,” you can hear the smirk in his voice again.

“I will,” you sing. “Matt?”

“Hm?”

“Are you going to let me hold your hand?” You ask, hopefully.

“Maybe, if you’re good,” he laughs before hanging up the phone.

—

You’re dressed up in your favorite casual date outfit. It’s only a few minutes until you need to meet Matt outside the bus.

Adjusting your hair and accessories, you look into the bus bathroom mirror. The jitters that have shaken your body since the moment he asked out over the phone have not stopped, and really, it’s getting worse. You have to keep your jaw clenched to keep your teeth from chattering. The only thing that can help you is seeing him.

You huff and head down the hallway to the front room. Jolly and Folio sit on the couch on their phones, relaxing.

“Hey, beautiful,” Jolly says. “Where are you going?”

Folio looks up from his phone too, “Yeah? Damn, you look good, I like that outfit.”

Your cheeks flush at their compliments, but you realize you don’t feel comfortable with them knowing that you have been on a date with Noah and are now going on one with his best friend. “I’m going for lunch with Matt,” you tell them a half-truth. Lying seems to be in your repertoire these days.

“Oh, cool. Where are y’all going?” They say in unison.

“It’s a hot chicken restaurant he knows about,” you tell the truth.

“Shit, that sounds good. Could we come with y’all?” Folio asks, excitedly.

Folio, please. “I would love that, but we're going to do some catching up as friends,” you give him a sorry smile and offer to take him there another day while you’re still in town.

“It’s all good,” he shrugs. ‘Y’all have fun.”

You wave them goodbye, “See you later for the show boys.”

“Bye, Y/N!” They sing as you exit the bus onto the concrete of the venue alley.

Matt leans on the brick wall of the venue looking at his sneakers.

“Hey, handsome,” you compliment him. His outfit is different than usual. It’s not that different, however, you could tell he had his idea of a casual date outfit, too. Your chest flutters at the thought of him getting ready for you.

Matt looks up at you at the sound of your voice. A smile slowly creeps on his lips and builds to a toothy, shit-eating grin.

“I see you wore a clean, oversized tee today,” you tease him while looking him up and down. “And, camo cargo pants? That’s so hot.”

“Shut up,” he rolls his eyes. “I think that I look best without clothes, but I dont think Hattie B’s would allow that,” he jokes.

You tend to agree with that statement. He looks like a God when he is down to a pair of fitted boxer briefs. Besides the other features of his physique, below the belt, you’ve only ever taken a good look at his ass. You know that your life would be over if Matt were ever to catch you ogling his bulge, so even after countless sleepovers and pool days, you have no clue what he might be packing.

“Is that the restaurant we’re going to?” You ask as he comes to your side to start your walk.

“Mhm,” he hums. “By the way, you look,” you catch him sneaking a glance over to you, “amazing.”

“Thanks, babe,” you nudge his shoulder.

A ghost of a smile makes his lip curl upwards. He doesn't want you to notice, but you do. “I’m already regretting sharing my feelings with you,” he grunts before taking his hand in yours. His thumb rubs over the top of it softly and you smile to yourself as you walk down the city sidewalk, side by side.

—

“Can you order for me, Matt? I need to use the restroom,” you ask him.

“Yeah, I know what you like,” Matt agrees while staring up at the menu overhead at the ordering counter.

That was something that you loved about him and something you wouldn't get from Noah, not at this point. Matt remembers everything. The second you tell him you love something, your goals, even something you're just remotely interested in it’s like he has a notes app page open about it. Matt tends to order your food for you when you go out back at home, but if you order he’ll speak up for you if you’re too shy to ask for something specific.

“Could I have three chorizo breakfast tacos, please?” You would ask at your two’s favorite taco shop on Sunday mornings. Matt would give you a stare and a subtle head tilt to mention your customization, but when you don't.

“With salsa on the side. Not on top, please. She doesn't like it,” he would say for you before handing over his card.

You haven't realized it until now, looking into the bathroom mirror, but you have been comparing the two men you've been involved with and you don't like it. It’s not like you should have the privilege of comparing either of them anyway. Your choice to have one, for peace, is completely null. You could only hope to enjoy your time with the two of them until everything goes to hell.

Enough, you say to yourself roughly. Enjoy yourself. Enjoy your date. You wash your hands with warm water; the temperature change and the sweet scent from the soap soothes your senses.

You walk back out into the restaurant lobby and spot Matt sitting alone at a booth. His leg bounces up and down as he looks out the building window.

Walking up to sit across from him, he jokes, “You didn’t fall in did you?”

You giggle and get settled in your seat, “No, I was just nervous, I guess. I was taking a second to myself.”

“How do you feel now?” Matt reaches across the table from you and holds his hand in yours.

“Better,” you smile. He continues tracing circles with the pad of his thumb on your hand just like he did on your way here. Just on the soft skin of your palm, this time. “So, what did you order me?”

“I got you the mild spicy sandwich with fries. I think I got us a side of mac and cheese to share,” Matt purses his lips. “I got myself the hot sandwich with fries. You can try mine, but I know you’re not too into spicy stuff,” he shrugs.

You both speak at the same time.

“Thank you–” “Unless, it’s books–

“Matt,” you squeeze his hand in yours while making “What the fuck?” eyes to him. Ducking your head, you look around the restaurant to make sure no one overheard him. “Don't talk about my book.”

“You read it in public,” he says matter of factly. “I can talk about something that you do in public.”

“Reading on the bus isn't in public,” you defend. Heat travels up your neck to your cheeks like it usually did when Matt and you got on to the topic of sex. It happens often, and you hate that you don't mind it.

He shrugs and starts to laugh at himself. “I’ve Googled the title, by the way, I know what you've been reading about, Y/N.”

You decide to play his game. After over a year of dealing with him, you have found that the best way to combat his taunting is to do it right back. “Oh, really,” you tilt your head at him. “What is it about then? Describe it to me.”

Matt lets go of your hand and adjusts his hat. This is his common tell that he would rather change the subject, but in proper Matt fashion, he wants to play with you. “If I remember correctly,” he pauses while looking up at the ceiling, “It’s about a woman who moves into the house next door to this hot guy. Hot guy is a boudoir photographer? She does his marketing in exchange for him to teach her how to fuck. I stole your copy to check for myself and I remember the guy laying her out on top of a counter—”

“Uhm, I have the mild and hot sandwiches with a side of mac and cheese?” The woman delivering your food squeaks out.

“That’s us, thank you,” Matt coughs out.

“Thank you,” you say as they start to dart away from your table.

You and him stare into each other’s eyes with blank faces waiting for the employee to walk far enough away before you can react.

Once they have walked through the swinging door to the kitchen Matt is in hysterics laughing across from you. His keeling over the side of the table just so you can see the pleasure on his face a bit closer.

“Why did you just explain my sex book in front of the employee?” You cover your face with your hands.

“You asked me to! You did this to yourself,” he continues to chuckle while shoving a fry into his mouth.

“Also, I haven't got to the part you’re talking about, so thanks for the spoiler,” you huff before also taking a fry and shoving it in your mouth. “Shit, this is good,” you moan and relax your shoulders.

“Is that how you moan when—”

“Matt, I’m on my knees—,” you glare at him before he can interrupt you. “I’m begging you, could we please talk about something else?”

“Sure,” he calms and starts eating. “I wanted to thank you for saying “yes” to coming out with me.”

“What do you mean?”

“I was nervous that you might just want to see how things go with Noah,” he admits.

“Matt, I have had the biggest crush on you since, like, a month into knowing you? There’s no way I would pass up the opportunity for a date. I just—”

“What’s wrong?”

Here we go. “I just don't want everyone to know that I’ve been on a date with Noah and you. I feel sleazy.”

“It’s going out. It’s innocent,” he shrugs and bites into his sandwich. Talking with his mouth full, “You let me know if anyone tries giving you shit for it. I’ll beat their ass.” He swallows his bite. “If it will make you feel better, I don’t mind you saying that we’re doing stuff as friends. I’ll do the same. It’s pretty normal for us to be alone since people know we've known each other for a long time.”

Thank God. “I’m glad you feel that way,” you start. “Something happened with Noah. I need to—,”

“Tell me later?” He interrupts and then shakes his head, “Sorry, I don’t want to talk about him on our date. I just want to hear about you.”

“Okay,” you nod. Fuck, don’t take the out. You need to tell him, you think. “Yeah, sorry.”

“It’s ok,” he smiles. “Here, try this sauce. Shit’s good.”

You and Matt spend the next hour at the restaurant eating and chatting away. He feeds you fries and lets you try his sandwich. Which ultimately, as he predicted, would make you chug your drink down to get another refill.

He asks you to tell him about your aspirations again as your legs are intertwined with his underneath the table. He always listens to you so intently with a furrowed brow. It’s intimidating as all you want to do is impress him. However, Matt has never made you apologize for being yourself: for liking what you like, or for dreaming big dreams.

He reminds you of his goals in life and your chest has that familiar tingle by the way his face glows when he talks about them. He shows you his favorite pictures of his dogs that you have seen time and again. He gives you countless, soft-spoken affirmations and praise about how you look, the jokes you tell him, and your work ethic. He tells you how great you’ve been doing at your job. He’s proud of you and date Matt, romantic Matt… isn’t afraid to show it.

You feel loved. He’s in love with you.

—

Matt invited you to watch the show from the sound deck again tonight.

You agreed, excitedly, the butterflies in your stomach have yet to die down after your first date with him this afternoon. The smile on his face wouldn’t dissipate either.

The crew teased about how sweet he treated them when you two came in to check up on them after returning from getting lunch.

“What’s got you so excited, Dierkes?” Kooter, Bad Omen’s drum tech, teased from behind Matt while massaging his shoulders.

“Fuck off, go help Folio,” Matt said, brushing Kooter off. His tone showed itself to be negative, however, you love the way his lips turned up at the ends as he turned back to face you. His eyes smile too as they meet yours as if to say, “You’re what I’m excited about, Y/N.”

The crew set everything up as organized and as detailed as it would be if you two were there to manage the process, and the gig began as usual.

Later in the night, you stand at Matt’s side in the sound deck to prepare for Bad Omens to begin their set of the night. It would be two whole days since you would return to work after spending some time in Nashville before moving on to the next tour stop. Looking around the room, you take it all in, to save the excitement and fulfillment that your job brings to you every night. Fans line and lean over the railings of the balcony seats at both sides of the room; chatting and patiently waiting for the band’s introduction to the stage.

A group of women, around your age, stand in front of the sound deck barrier. They're laughing and taking pictures and you hear one of them dare another to ask Matt for a photo, too. He doesn't seem to notice, but the women catch your curious stare, they nod and motion for you to tap on his shoulder. You take a step closer to him, “Matt, do you want to take a picture?” You ask while lightly tugging on the sleeve of his shirt to get his attention.

He turns to you, immediately. “Yeah,” He smiles and begins to pull his phone from his jogger’s pocket.

“Oh, sorry, not with me,” you giggle, patting his arm. “Them,” you nod your head the ladies waiting hopefully and excitedly across from you two.

“Oh, sure,” he smile falls a tad, but returns to assure you. “I’ll be right back, okay? Then there’s something I want to show you.” He steps off to the side closer to the metal barrier that separates the crowd and yourselves and you watch as the group’s faces light up at him. They cover their mouths in excitement and mouth to each to “be chill or be calm”. It’s hard to read their lips.

The way they feel right now is how you would be reacting to meeting him or Noah in an alternative universe where Matt and you had never met on that walk that one day. Every time you're invited back to the sound deck, you feel like a fan again.

Matt says, “Have fun!” to the group and returns to your side. “So, I was thinking about something cool you could do if you’re interested?”

“Sure,” you raise an eyebrow at him as he walks a couple of feet over to the lighting board on the table.

“Do you want to control the lights during the Concrete Jungle call and response thing?” He pats the console.

“What? Me?” You say, shocked, yet excited. “Hell yes, but what if I mess it up?”

“It’s super easy, not even you could mess it up,” he teases and you give him an eye roll. “I swear. All you have to do is control these two faders; up for brightening down for dimming, and you just lead the crowd to chant “Jun-gle” using the lights. You’ve seen it almost every night for the past week, you’ll be fine.”

“I’ll do it,” you nod slowly.

“Here, practice,” he grabs your hands to rest them on the correct sliders on the board. He’s soft when he guides your fingers to push the sliders upward, slowly, which gradually brightens the lights overhead the stage. Various groups of fans cheer in the crowd for the lighting, hopeful it’s a sign for their show to begin. Matt guides your fingers back down the board and the lights dim to black again. “Now, do it yourself, just faster,” he leans back on his foot and crosses his arms over his chest watching you experiment with the sliders.

“Ok,” you let out a quick breath. Your heart beats fast in your chest, but you would have time to settle your nerves as you wouldn’t have to do this until Dethrone, their final song of the night. “I think I have the hang of it.”

“Good, because that’s all you,” he says. “Sometimes I forget that you're a fan of all of this. I want you to have more of these experiences,” Matt leans in close to your ear, in hopes only you would hear him. “I know I can be an ass, but you deserve to have the time of your life on this tour. I want this to work out.”

“Yeah, I know,” you squish his cheeks with your fingers. He reels back and swats your hand away, but laughs with you before returning to his soundboard and set up. Once he’s out of earshot, you mumble, “I want all of this to work out too, believe me.”

—

You sang to yourself and danced at a volume that wouldn’t take Matt's or fans' attention from the stage as you stand with him tonight.

While you were still reeling from your day with Matt, you still missed Noah. Your heart yearned for them equally, although it is hard to forget the six words that came out of Matt’s mouth last night. “I’m in love with you, Y/N.” It has been on repeat all day.

The nights you weren’t invited into the sound deck you would stand sidestage and would get hyped up with Folio as he passed you funny looks from his drum throne. Noah would partake in the antics, too, when it wouldn’t take away from his performance. Like: Having dance-offs with you when the audience thinks he’s dancing alone, or giving you eyebrows and a smirk at certain parts of his lyrics, and when he undresses down to a tank top mid-set.

Tonight, you don’t have to hide your gaze on his hands as he lifts his overshirt above his head. The way the muscles in his back and biceps flex involuntarily by the motion makes you shutter.

It was the same feeling you felt the first time watching him live. The bass of his growls coming through the stage monitors vibrate in your chest and makes your thighs clench. Sometimes, you wonder how long he can hold his breath as he holds on to notes and screams. You imagine his tattooed hands spreading and gripping your thighs apart uneager to come up for air as he feasts on your aching cunt.

Matt can’t hear your thoughts even standing a few feet from you, but you feel like he can so you sneak cautious glances over at him when these delicious thoughts pass through your mind to he if he reacts in any way.

The show was coming up to ‘Dethrone’. Noah has nearly finished his first encore of the night and you take your place in front of the lighting board with your fingers touching lightly on the sliders Matt showed you earlier.

While waiting patiently for Noah’s cue to you, he finds your eyes in the sound deck. His dark eyes match yours directly. Surely, he can’t be looking at you? You wonder. You feel like a fan in the crowd who’s just made eye contact with their favorite band member for the first time. He nods at you, and then he begins.

“Concrete,” he growls into the mic before ticking his fore and middle fingers at you twice.

“Jungle!” You slide the light faders in tandem and they glow above the stage with each syllable the crowd screams.

Noah and you go back and forth. His eyes never leave yours, even as he paces back and forth on the stage, and he successfully directs you through his chant. The room is packed as it’s a sold-out show, but you feel as though it’s only you two present.

He tosses you a proud smile as he begins ‘Dethrone’ and it makes your legs melt.

Fuck, he’s so hot. Distracted by him, you hadn’t realized the number of times he had unintentionally made you blush and make the hairs on your neck rise. Let alone let you realize the growing need for him building up fast in your abdomen. You want any part of him, and preferably more than a kiss tonight.

You watch him perform their final song in awe; you can imagine your tongue rolling out of your mouth and drooling onto the pit floor.

—

After fans have fully exited the venue, you’re left with Matt in the sound deck with a couple of other guys from the crew.

You catch Matt yawning and he asks, “Are you sleepy yet?”

“I’ve found I have a lot of energy after each show. I’m gonna stay up for a bit,” you explain. Your lying streak made this fib too easy to tell. While you had a lot of energy, it wasn’t because of the music or the atmosphere, it was because of Noah. Impulsive thoughts appear like demonic ghouls floating around in your head whenever your sexual needs aren’t met. You wanted so badly to throw yourself at Noah the second you saw him next; to re-do your first kiss? To go even further? However, you can’t, if Matt is to be too close tonight. He was learning to be okay with you having gone on a date with Noah, but you’re unsure of his reaction if he were to find out about you doing anything more.

“I want to try to get to the showers first, but I should get all of this down so we don’t have to worry about it in the morning,” he stretches.

“Go and shower, get to bed,” you rub Matt’s shoulder with care. “I’m gonna stay here and help out.”

“M’Kay,” he yawns again. “Goodnight, Y/N. Make sure my stuff gets packed up real nicely. You’re the only one I trust.”

“Yes sir,” you give him a faux salute as he walks off toward the back of the venue. You smile at him, but your stomach lurches. He trusts you. He’s in love with you! I am being manipulative, you think guiltily.

You spend around forty-five minutes tearing down the sound deck making sure to pack Matt’s equipment, cords, wires, and laptops carefully away. You handled his things with care, even though you were half-distracted by the throbbing between your legs.

“Y/N,” a male voice calls from behind you.

It’s a crew member’s voice. Their usual lighting and production tech who helps Matt in the sound deck. “Hm?” You turn around to meet his face.

“Go ahead and wind down for the night. We’ll take care of the rest,” he nods toward the back of house. “Thanks for helping.”

“Of course, anytime. Goodnight everyone,” you set what you’re working on down and start walking toward Bad Omen’s green room with a sense of urgency.

Once inside, you grab your bag, your nighttime relaxation clothes, and the clean towel you pack in case you want to take a late-night shower. Tonight you do, but you doubt you’re going to be doing your wash routine.

Please be in here and alone. Please.

“Noah, are you in here?” You call out his name as you push open the door to the showers. The layout of the room is more like a locker room than the past showers you have used at other venues. One side of the room is lined with sizable shower stalls with floor-length curtains for privacy, while the other side of the room has a wall of lockers and benches. On them, you notice Noah’s backpack and nicely folded clothing. His boots sit together underneath the glossy, wooden bench.

“I’m in the second stall,” he talks over the sound of the steaming water raining down over him. A light mist rises over the top of his curtain and dissipates as it hits the ceiling. You can’t see him the way you could the night before.

You bite your lip anxiously. What are you doing? You ask yourself. Your body feels hot by how turned on you are and it keeps you warm as you strip yourself naked. Pulling your panties down your legs, you notice a prominent wet spot accumulated by the pool of your arousal. You stuff all of your belongings into an empty locker and softly click it closed.

His name falls from your lips before you can catch it, “Noah?”

It wasn’t in your plan for him to poke his head through the curtain, but he does. “Yeah?” His voice is innocent, but his eyes widen once he sees the sight of you. Your arms bravely stick to your sides to allow him to gain you in full. “Shit,” he hisses under his breath while making haste with the outline of your body. You watch his eyes roam you as you stand there in heavy silence before he opens the curtain a little more to invite you inside. “You’re so damn beautiful,” he says as you stand in front of him. Once you’re in the stall, you feel like his eyes will never leave yours. So, if you tried to sneak a peek anywhere but his face, he would most definitely know.

“Thank you,” your cheeks feel hot. “Is it okay if I shower with you?”

“Mhm,” he nods and hums. His low tone reverberates against the walls of the shower stall. “I was hoping you would. You have no idea the thoughts that have been running through my head since last night.”

His admission makes you feel tingly. “I hope I’m not moving too fast. This feels so out of character for me,” you shake your hands out.

“I want to move as slow or as fast as you do,” he confides to you in a low tone. His fingers reach to the crook of your neck and trace down your shoulder, to your bicep, to your forearm, and rest to intertwine with your fingers.

“You looked so good on stage tonight,” you admit as you look up at him with shining eyes. “Every night, I watch you perform, and it—,”

“And what?” Noah steps into your bubble. The tips of your breasts just barely graze his skin.

“I get so turned on,” you’re nearly talking into his clavicle. He slightly shutters as your breath hits his skin. “Noah, I’m so pent up, it hurts.”

“I can help,” he nods and his wet bangs sway. You watch the water from his hair drip onto your chest. The varying temperature makes you shiver. He notices this. “Get yourself wet first,” he instructs while switching places with you for you to stand under the running shower head.

You run your hands through your hair and close your eyes to enjoy the heat. You feel the same tickly feeling on your breasts that you always feel around him, so you open your eyes to catch his gaze from your tits when you admit, “Noah, I swear I’m already wet.”

His laugh and toothy smile make you warm inside, as much as the hot water warms your skin on the outside. He leans in close to press a kiss into your cheek, “I want to feel how wet you are, Y/N. But first, I want you to look at me. I give you permission,” his shoulders shake as he laughs at you trying your best to look at every shiny tile that lines the stall rather than his nude form.

When he backs away, your eyes trail his body. The freckles on his shoulders are the first of what you see. You reach out to touch them, but his hands come to your bare hips to push you slowly until you’re both underneath the warm, running water. The water moves in slow motion and you follow it with your eyes as it hits his chest and drips lower to his stomach. His waistline is spotted with water droplets. You take one last big breath before letting your gaze fall to his groin. He’s half hard and the tattoos around his lower stomper and thighs surround his member like he’s a work of art. Your shoulders shake a tiny bit when you chuckle at the sight of his wet leg hair and impatient toes that are dancing, waiting for you to look back up at his face.

You look up to meet Noah’s eyes, but you can’t help but sneak glances at his lips. “You’re so beautiful,” you whisper to him as you wrap your hands behind his neck and pull him down into your kiss.

He hums against your lips as if to thank you. Noah’s arms wrap around your body as you detach and reattach to his mouth in fervor. He scratches your back with his nails and grips the skin of your back. He tastes so good, so fresh. Your tongues fight each other for dominance and you win.

Noah groans when he feels your hand caress down his stomach and slowly makes its way to wrap around his half-hard cock. He feels so warm in your hand like he’s blushing down there. You open your eyes while making out with him and his cheeks are glowing pink. The sight of his dick on your small hand gives you raging confidence and makes your heart burst.

You begin to stroke him while kissing him. He grows harder in your hands and grows longer, and thicker. You move your lips and teeth and attach them to the side of his neck as he allows heavy breaths to fall from his lips. “I like the way your cock hardens in my hand,” you moan in his ear.

Noah grips your ass and it makes you pull away from his neck to whine. “I like that,” he moans. “So fucking much, you don’t even know. But, I want to help you. You can make me cum another time.”

You bite your lip and nod.

“Spread your legs, just a little bit,” he commands in a low tone. You spread your legs apart and he praises, “Yeah, just like that.”

He dips his head to your left breast and latches on, tongue first, to the nipple while kneading your other breast with his hand fingers. Water splashes off to the sides of the shower as he presses himself into you.

“Ah,” you whine when his dominant hand leaves your chest to snake between your bodies to your core. The pads of his fingers find your clit and give you a firm press before sliding through your folds, curiously.

Your dazed eyes meet Noah’s as he pulls his hand from your cunt to show you the clear, slimy juices that drool down his fingers. “I really do turn you on, huh?” He boasts before sticking his fore and middle fingers between his lips and lapping your arousal away.

“Mhm,” you moan at the sight of him licking his fingers clean.

Noah plays with your nipples with his empty hand while the right one is brought back to your pussy. “Do you remember when I heard you say my name?”

“Hm?” You’re dizzy and can’t fully think of what he’s referring to.

“The second night of the tour. The morning after, I asked you if you needed to ask me a question because I heard you say my name,” he explains while rubbing your clit in expert figure-eights. “Noah.”

Your eyes shoot open and meet his eyes, but they’re attached to your lips. “I was touching myself. Thinking about you,” you admit while whining on his fingers.

Suddenly, his fingers pinch your clit gently, but with enough force to make you cry out, “Noah.” The pain makes you shutter and collapse against his form.

“I’ve been waiting to hear my name come from your perfect lips again,” he chuckles while pinching your nipples at the same time. “Good girl. Now, tell me what you were thinking about.”

“I was thinking about, fuck,” you grind against his hand as he releases your clit to palm your cunt. “I brought my favorite sex toys with me. I was imagining you using them on me.”

“We can do whatever you want,” he speaks low into your ear before kissing your neck. His longest fingers prod your entrance and tease your pussy with quick, shallow pumps. The palm of his hand presses firmly into your clit and you grab his forearm for balance. You feel it flex under your fingers. “Do you want to cum on my fingers?”

“Yes, please, I need you—,” you squeak out.

The sound of the locker room door swinging open causes Noah to turn you around and press your back against his chest. His hard cock rests against your ass and you want to grind on him so badly, to make him feel good too.

“Noah, could I borrow your phone charger? I’ve lost mine already,” you hear Nick call out to Noah from the entrance of the room.

Noah covers your mouth with his hand and you breathe softly through your nose. His other hand cautiously rubs circles on your throbbing, aching clit as he responds, “Yeah, Nick, that’s fine. You can find it in the second pocket of my backpack.”

You start to grind up against Noah feeling his dick harden against your skin, again, and his hand pressing hard into your private region. You need relief.

Nick’s footsteps echo through the room, and you can feel your heartbeat matching the pace of his steps; so quick and to the point.

Noah continues his movements but goes a bit further to test the waters. He uses his weight to hike you up a bit further and you get the sign to stand on your tiptoes and bend your knees just a bit. Noah reaches his fingers between your thighs again and dips them in your slick cunt, slowly.

Your eyes roll back into your head, and you do your best to stay silent. You hope the running shower can hide how your breath hitches as Noah curls his fingers inside of you, stretching you out.

“Nick, when you find it,” Noah’s voice vibrates against you, “you can keep it. I have two others in my bunk.”

“Thanks, man. I got it now. Good night!” Nick says before you hear his steps towards the door and the door closing behind him.

With Nick gone, you moan against Noah’s palm on your mouth freely. His fingers are slim, but they’re so long and reach the best spots inside of you. His thumb rubs your clit as he fucks you with his fingers.

“Such a good girl for staying quiet,” he praises and removes his hand from fully covering your mouth only to prod your lips with his fingers to stuff them between your teeth. “Now, be loud for me.”

His name is broken as you try to say it, “No-ahhhhh, ple—please!” Your eagerness for full relief drives you to grind harder on his fingers, so much, you're bouncing on them and doing the work for him.

Noah supports your hips so you don’t slip on the wet tile. “I know, I know,” he says daringly while kissing the crown of your head. “Go ahead and cum, you deserve it.”

“Fuck, thank you—,” you hiss as you reach up and tangle your fingers up into the back of his hair. You release on his fingers and he hooks them to repeatedly hit your G-spot as you ride through your high.

“That was so hot,” he praises into your ear. “But, let’s try not to get caught again, yeah?”

“Yeah,” you laugh as you stand while holding the wall for support.

“Let me clean you up. We still need to actually take our showers,” he holds your waist and pulls you back into the water.

—

“Are the showers going to start being our new meeting place?” He chuckles as wraps your fresh towel around your shoulders. The one you stuffed into the locker when you came in. You patted yourself on the back for remembering to do it or else Nick would have definitely known you two were hearing together.

“Maybe,” you shrug at him with a smile. While you enjoyed your private meetings, you also wished you could say and do everything you wanted to you with him in front of everyone else. You could feel that keeping things secret was starting to get harder on your mental health. Sex is the main thing you don't mind keeping behind closed doors.

Noah’s head pops up as if he has had an epiphany. “Do you want to go on another date before we go to sleep?”

“Of course!” you match his excitement with your arms loosely wrapped around his waist.

“Good, because I already have an idea of where can go,” Noah reaches into the front pocket of his backpack to retrieve his phone. You peak at his screen as he opens his Yelp account and searches for the best milkshakes nearby.

—

Noah sits across from you in a black hoodie covering his hair. His lips are wrapped around one of the white and red striped bendy straws in your shared cookies and cream milkshake. He giggles as you pull out your phone to take a picture of him and his hand comes to cover your phone camera.

You playfully fight his hand away while snapping a couple of shaky pictures. “I need more pictures of you!” You whine. “You took so many of me when we were in Boston.”

“We can take one together,” he pulls his phone out of his hoodie pocket and angles it towards your faces. You both take a sip from the shake and he takes a picture. He looks at it before showing you, “You’re so cute.”

“Mhm,” you hum, sipping through your straw. This milkshake was definitely in the top three of all you have ever had. Noah knows how to pick good places.

“So, tell me,” he sits up a little higher in his seat before leaning forward. “Everything. Everything about you that you didn't day on our first date.”

“Noah, it’s past midnight,” you chuckle, but he still looks at you with eager eyes. He wants to know you. Everything about you. You mentally note that one day you could reach the level of comfort that Matt and you have, and you want to try to get there with Noah. “We have the next two days to talk, too,” you kick your legs in excitement and he smiles when they brush him. It’s pretty easy to touch him; his long legs take up the majority of the space under the tiny table you’re sitting at. “What should we do with all of our free time?”

“I have one idea of how we can spend a lot of our time together,” he shrugs and gives you a knowing smile.

“What?” You giggle with your tongue on the straw.

“You could share a bed with me at the hotel we get to stay in for the next two nights,” he suggests.

Your eyebrows raise in intrigue, “Mmm.”

“We would have to have one other person to share our room with us for the room costs to be worth it, but I would get to sleep next to you for real, instead of across from you,” he plays with his hands over the table.

“We’ve slept next to each other every night on the bus,” you think out loud. “I would feel comfortable with that, I think.”

Noah moves his fidgeting to the strings of his hoodie. You love to watch how nervous he gets talking to you. It’s charming. “I really like the way we talk to each other across the short space between us when everyone else is asleep,” he admits and you pout your lip at him in awe. “I’ve never told you this, but sometimes I’ll stay up and watch you sleep when you forget to close your curtain.”

You lean forward and rest your hand on your cheek.

“Also, because I stay up,” he sips on his straw. “That’s how I knew about— you know?”

You gulp down the shake in your mouth so as not to choke on it. He’s referencing what he reminded you of earlier in the shower. Noah. “Oh, yeah, that.” Your face heats up.

One of his hands shoots towards your open hand resting on the table. “That didn’t bother me by the way,” he reassures. “I’m flattered, honestly. Feel free to think about me all the time.”

You giggle before watching his fingers interlace with yours.

“You make me really excited, Y/N. I haven’t thought about being in a relationship with anyone for a long time. I feel so preoccupied with so many other things, but when I think about that with you… it feels possible.”

“Noah, that feels so good to know,” you say softly, it’s almost a whisper. You feel vulnerable now. “You have no idea how much of a dream it is to get to know you that way I had when I was just a fan three months ago.”

“I love that you’re a fan, but you’re also my equal. I was pulled into you the second I saw you. I still think back to us sitting on the patio bench at the L.A. studio together,” he squeezes your hand.

“Me too,” you agree. You two sit in comfortable silence for a beat.

“You don’t have to tell me everything I need to know about you, yet,” he chuckles. But, before we go back, can I ask you two questions?”

You push the empty shake glass to the side and hold both of his hands in the center of the table. “I’ll do my best.”

“That’s all I want,” he says. “First, do you say yes to at least rooming with me at the hotel the next two nights?”

“Yes,” you nod with an excited smile. Whether you’ll have to live with the consequences of your answer or not, you’ll see.

“Lucky me,” he smiles. “Second—,” he takes his time to continue, “what are you looking for with your time with me? Is it just fun, a relationship… I want to know.”

[idcbabyialreadylostmymind]

Hi could I request Dom Mindy x sub fem reader smut please?

Your Guilty Pleasure

Pairing- Mindy Meeks x f!reader

Summary- both you and Mindy want each other but it does help your Chad's girlfriend

Warnings- Cheating, coercion, fxf, cheating on bbg chad should be a warning as well, fingering

Mindy watched from across the room as Chads hand slid between your thighs rubbing them, she wished it was her lap you were on, her hands touching you, how she envied her brother. Mindy loves her brother she really does but her desire for you was more, the desire to taste your pussy, to make you cum, to make you hers. Her eyes moved from your bottom half and up to your top it was thin she could see the outline of your perky tits. She looked away knowing what she was doing was wrong but how she wanted to look back, how she wanted to shove you into a room and ruin you.

She looks back at you this time your eyes were on her which quickly went back to Chad when you saw her looking at you, she smiles as she sees your cheeks darken a little bit, could you feel the same way about her that she does you, no you couldn’t, your with her brother, but that look you had even though she only saw it for a split second it told her more than enough. She couldn’t do it anymore; she had to have you.

“Her Chad, can you go to the smoke shop and get me some rolling papers? They don’t ID you.” Mindy asks and her brother sighs as he gives you a kiss on the cheek before getting up after the small shut of the door the room was questioned again. Wanting to make both of you more comfortable in the silence you sit down on the couch next to her where she was watching the silence of the lambs. She gave you a small smile before turning back to the tv.

You tried to focus on the movie but it was hard, hard because Mindy was sitting next to you in a graphic tshirt with some movie you've never seen on it and some striped pants which you wish you could see under the guilt eats at you as you look away from her your dating her brother but want to fuck her.

You were now sitting thigh to thigh and you feel her hand sitting on your warm skin making your breath hitch and she moves her hand that one touch you would savor forever. “Sorry I just didn’t have anywhere else to put my hand.” She says and you force a smile on your flustered face, “It's okay, I don’t mind.” you reply and she smiles back at you resting her hand on your thighs.

Mindy doesn't always pay attention to what she does with her hands when she gets into a movie so as she focused on the movie her fingertips traced the skin of your thigh going up ever so slightly when she moved in her seat. Your mind flew from the movie immediately after she put her hand on your thigh, and while you watched her slender fingers mindlessly play on your thigh your mind went into really, really dangerous territory.

Your teeth sucked your bottom lip in as you could basically envision your boyfriend's sister fingering you. When you looked up from her hand and to her, her beautiful brown eyes were on you sucking you in. “Y/N.” she says breathlessly, her hand trailing farther up your thigh. “Mindy.” You say as the ache began to drip down to your needy cunt.

''I won't tell.'' She says her hand going up even farther and you prayed she would go faster, and that Chad doesn't bust through that door. ''And you won't either.'' Her voice was barely above a whisper and her hand was now at the waistband of your shorts she reached up so she could whisper in your ear, “You know I can do it better than he can.” She asks as her breath came in sync with yours.

You shake your head yes as you open your dry mouth to speak, “Please.” you said and her hand dove under your shorts amd silk panties and into your soaked folds.

Shuttering at the feeling of your pussy of her hand she moves her pointer and middle fingers on your clit rubbing them against the bundle of nerves in just the right pace and motion.

“oh god..” you whisper your legs spreading even wider and your eyes screw shut but you pry them open again looking at the girl as she slips one finger inside of you stretching your incredibly tight hole and her thumb finds its way teasing your clit, “oh mindy.” You moan as she curls her fingers inside of you hitting the sweetest spot inside your gummy walls. Your back arched off the couch as she does this multiple times. She rubs your clit franticly as she slams her fingers in and out of you.

Your hand fisted her shirt as you felt the bolts of your climax reach throughout your body. Your orgam only intensified as she continued fucking you through your high. After she stopped her voice rang through your ears and you look at her and give her a fucked out smile, “We have to do that again.” you say and she laughs giving you a forehead kiss as she giggles, “Definitely.”

And then the door opens signaling Chad got back with the rolling papers.

[jadeylovesmarvelxo]

Hi ☺️ id like to request a vampire!eddie who is friends with reader but they both want more. But maybe vampire!eddie is afraid to hurt reader so he tries to remain friends. Reader finally gives up and tells eddie they can be friends but she needs to move on. She ends up on a date that ends terribly, when she gets home eddie is waiting for her and confesses he cant just be friends and they happily get together bc neither deserve anymore angst lol.

Warnings: Angst to fluff 💕

Dont copy, reuse or repost my work

Request by @swansonron

♥️

Many people have fun stories about how they've met their best friend.

For you and Eddie its no different except for one thing.

Your best friend is a vampire. Yes, exactly like Dracula, Anna Rice's Interview with a Vampire, Angel and Spike from Buffy...

Oh, and he doesn't sparkle in the sun just FYI.

Eddie may be a vampire but he's the sweetest, kindest man you've ever met. He's never hurt a human and you know he'd never hurt you.

You've fallen for him, hard but despite how close you both are, how it's obvious both you want to take your friendship to the next level Eddie holds back.

He's terrified of hurting you, even though you know he won't but he's got the idea in his head that his enhanced strength will end up with you hurt in some way.

Honesty, he's the most gentle man you've ever known and you know accidents can happen, but what they didn't?

You wish deep in your heart that Eddie would give you and him a chance but it looked increasingly unlikely and the more it broke your heart.

🦇

After much deliberation, constantly unsure of what to do and many sleepless nights you had come to a decision.

If Eddie would never accept the idea of you and him together then you had to move on. For both your sake.

You loved his frienship and never wanted to ruin it so maybe moving on would be best for everyone.

Even if you doubted that you could find someone as incredible as Eddie, you had to try didn't you?

Telling Eddie was the hardest part as your heart still longed for him.

"I have to move on Eddie. I want to be with you so much but it's clear you don't feel the same." your heart clenches painfully and you take a second before speaking again.

"We can be friends obviously but I can't keep hoping and waiting for you when this isn't what you want"

Saying all of this is hurting your heart but it needs to be said. You need to move on and stop living in a dream world.

Eddie is quiet as he takes this in and gives a tiny nod of his head.

"I understand princess" There's a hint of pain in his voice and you desperately want to soothe him, take the pain away.

By the time you move forward just an inch to go and comfort him, it's like he puts a mask up, his brown eyes darken and he steps back.

Tears prick your eyes but you swallow them down. Maybe he really doesn't care... He's just your friend and that's it.

"I have a date on Friday. It's with a guy called Jason" he nods and turns away.

"Right, well I hope it goes well sweetheart. I'll see you tommorow" he pauses and then turns back to you and gently kisses your cheek.

The soft brush of his lips on yours, the way his brown eyes meet your gaze for a minute makes your heart race.

When you open your eyes, he's gone and all that's left is a hollow feeling in your chest.

♥️

Shit, could this night get any worse?

Jason was one of those washed up jocks who sat relieving his glory days as a high school heartthrob and football captain.

He barely asked anything about you and when he did it didn't last long.

Long story short? You wish you were with Eddie instead.

Jason gulps down his wine and grows increasingly more and more drunk, conversation is stilted and no matter how many times you pick it up, it doesn't help.

The two of you have nothing in common, in fact he could be the greatest guy in the world and your heart would still belong to Eddie.

This frustrates you. Ugh, so much for trying to get over him. You needed to accept he didn't want to be with you. In some ways you had but your heart was different.

Your heart longed for a happy ending but its obvious you wouldn't find it here.

♥️

Eddie was waiting for you when you got home, he has a determined look on his face.

"Hi, what are you doing here Ed's?" you ask him curiously. Your traitor heart skips a beat as you eye him.

"I wanted to make sure you got home okay. How was your date?" you groan and slump on the sofa.

"Awful, truly awful" he growls and his eyes flash red briefly. Shit he's pissed.

"Do I need to have words with this douchebag" his protectiveness is sweet but you can handle a tipsy idiot.

"No, you'd scare him to death Eddie, I'm okay"

He kneels down beside you and takes your hand.

"What if I just frighten him a little bit? Turn into my bat form and scare the shit out of the dumb fuck?" this makes you giggle at the thought but you shake your head.

"No, remember what happened last time" Poor Miss Dawson is still on edge about bats.

He nods smirking then turns serious, his eyes lock with yours.

"When you were on the date it was driving me crazy. I can't just be friends with you sweetheart, I want more"

After a shitty night hearing this is like a dream.

"You mean it Eddie?" he nods, his thumb circling over your fingers. Sparks and tension comes off the both of you in waves.

Fuck, you so badly want to kiss him.

"I've never wanted anything more sweetheart, I adore you. I've falling for you, hard"

Eddie kisses you. You've been waiting for so long for this to happen and now that it is you can't believe it.

You kiss him back with equal fervour and he smiles against your lips.

"I'm gonna love you forever sweetheart"

Maybe happy endings weren't just for fairtytales after all.

♥️

[molanobessivenerd]

my gender

This is gonna be a long rant abt my gender so you do have to read it. I just need to say it.

Ok so ive been question my gender/sexuality for like 3-4 years now and i this was kinda it

Oh i'm a bi girl -> im pan girl -> lesbian -> pan she/they still a girl but queerer

Then like i was more worried about trying to figure out my sexuality right cause like i wanted to be kissed before my 16th (that didn't happen) 

Then like maybe mid 2022 i started thinking about gender and i knew 2 trans people but i was kinda like no that can't be me flashforward to march 2023 i got in to will wood and i was like ‘no way i'm in anyway trans but if i could be him i would’ and i like said to myself that i just thought he was attractive?? Then the same thing happened with the character jesse st james from glee which was even weird because there was no way i would want to date him, so thats when she/they pronouns came in i put it in my bio. Then kids from my class found out and made fun of it so i changed em back to she/her. 

Then since like september last year it feels like minimum weekly i’d either not be able to stop thinking abt gender or take way too many ‘what's my gender quizzes’ 

And like i feel its alway been in the day of my head, but its becoming more prevalent since then ive been like could i be non binary, genderfluid pintrest boards. At the beginning of the year i cut my hair again, which felt so good,.

So now somedays im having thoughts like ‘oh my fucking god why cant i drink something and be a guy’ ‘please for fucks sake’ though im nor sure id like to be a man im not 100% sure im a girl (im moving further from that). But like if there was like a magical thing i could drink do idk that would turn every inch into like robert smith between 1983-2004 id do it so quickly omg. 

And like it kinda hurts that i'm not idk (and ive never felt this for any girl celebrities)

And i kinda think they are also there those thoughts but some days theyre less i thinks thats just cus im distracting myself though i dont know i could be fluid. 

But i dont want to be any guy like the men in my family most of them are big i cant think of a better word then buffheads more so my dad but i could just not want to be like them i dont have a good relationship 

I dont think i HATE being a girl- i don't love it i like some parts but i dont think its things exclusive to girls say cause gender norms n stuff. 

I dont know if i have dysphoria because that fluctuates but im vision impaired so if i dont try and look at my body i forget some of it exists i really dont like my boobs or how clothes sit on my body think i like okay with having a cups (that i could easly hide if i wanted to  i dont but that cause also be cause by the pain they cause me.

My waist i like but only because that's the part of my body thats skinnest like my body was less shapely but that skinny id be elated.

But especially o the days i think abt it more but also all the time i do wish for more masc features eg adams apple more angular face bigger hands etc etc.Voices of weird one because my voice is in mezzo soprano range my speaking voice however in chest voice is kinda low  but I was self-conscious about it growing up because it made me stand out in different even though really it wasn't I think I just thought people were staring at me for no reason.  I think I only like my voice when I'm singing when I'm acting because I can imagine myself playing characters who aren't me but idk but if it was lower like high baritone or tenor id be like so fucking happy.

And like i Kind of want to try dressing differently but I can't because a I don't want my family to know certain pieces of clothing would be mens Not that they have a problem with it I'm assuming they could though but they probably just want to talk about it and I would not but also like  I remember one time I was at the shop called Factorie  and I wanted to get the Black Parade t-shirt but it was a mens shirt  and my god the amount of anxiety I had and the amount of people that I felt were staring at me I almost had a panic attack. 

And like I feel like if I ever did do anything about gender irl  I'd run away from everyone I know and cut of connections again not because I feel like they'd be bad about it but just I've built this thing around myself so long and I don't think I could even my queer friends like i dont know  my parents I'd feel like I'd be letting them down, and like 

But also so much for my childhood makes sense

Like when I was about 8 I got eczema for the first time and my first thought was ‘oh im turning into a boy… shit what am I gonna tell my parents’  which I don't even know why my brain made that jump but i hated my boobs sometimes more then others Once they got past a certain size,  when I had a pixie cut and a couple people in the street would mistake me for a boy felt exposed ‘like shh don't tell’ 

But I was also such a girly todder/ child  from like ages four Tube8 I would pride myself on being the girlest girl never wearing pants  because I kind of think it was trying to win that competition but I don't know         

I don't think anybody read this whole thing but if you did help me out or don't I don't care but I just needed to vent this 

m

[ofmermaidstories]

the other day you said something something love triangle but the real question is who would YOU choose

no polyam, someone's heart has to break

Ok ur ON.

First thing’s first: what’s our perimeters? What flavour of Love Triangle? Bakugou vs. Deku? Bakugou vs. Kiri? Deku vs. Kiri? Do we exclude Bakugou because I have an obvious bias? Add a different character for the fun of it? Shinsou vs. Monoma? Iida vs. Sero? Iida vs. Bakugou??? (Sorry, I just really like Bakugou 🥹) Do you guys want a little Villain action??? Dabi vs. Shiggy??? Dabi vs. Aizawa???? Aizawa vs. Hawks?????

And THEN—pretending we narrow that down, which Merms do we want in the ring? Are we talking true-to-life Merms (lazy, self-destructive, holds massive grudges)? Or Palatable Fic-ified Merms (stubborn about asking for help, passionate, loyal)? Do we treat this like I’ve always been apart of their world, or is this a isekai situation where I’m armed with meta-knowledge about them? (that seems a bit rude tbh…. going in knowing intimate things about them that someone else mightn’t 🥺)

This is my proposed scenario, just so we have something to answer with, but feel free to send more challenging ones lmfao:

Palatable Fic-ified Merms, always apart of the BNHA world, and it’s between Bakugou and Deku (because I’m currently writing them).

We’ll go with my usual m.o. as a set-up: civvie, not apart of the Pro Hero world (bc id rather die lmfao), maybe in some kind of service-based industry to facilitate a meeting! I’m fairly good at people-focused jobs, and I don’t date/use dating apps, so to get into a relationship with me you’re either going to need to literally bang on my door, or we see enough of each other to form some kind of polite relationship that eventually ramps up.

Okay, so we’ll pretend we have that all done: what’s our inciting event? Do I get to know one of them before the other? Even if you had both Deku and Bakugou coming into [workplace] together, Deku is so much more of a people-person—he’s going to be the one that talks, that introduces the both of them—the one that anyone is going to get to know first. And since fic!Merms is me, I feel confident enough to say that that dumb bitch would be like “omg 🥺” about Deku immediately. He’s such a sweetheart! A people-collector! You end up in his orbit whether you want it or not! It would be so easy to get swept up by his goodness, I think, especially if you’re a tiny bit vulnerable (stubborn about asking for help).

Just to make things interesting, let’s give fic!Merms one of my greatest flaws—boop 🪄✨! now she’s insecure! So here’s this shiny, good-boy superhero who is like, how are you, how are things, we missed you the other week—and fic!Merms is just like, wow, he’s so nice, i will never indicate any interest ever :)

But uh-oh! Kacchan’s there! Kacchan who has Sneaky Introvert Syndrome—who notices everything!!! Because he’s watching!!! Silently!!!! Like a creep!!!! Kacchan’s not a dumbass—he’s going to clock immediately that fic!Merms has a crush on Mr. Oblivious Greatest Hero there. And tbh I think he’d just kind of roll his eyes about it (idiot extras, he thinks, unkindly)—until, uh-oh, something happens! The crush either gets us into an embarrassing situation, or a dangerous one (there’s an attack, and Deku shouts for us to get down, or something, but we hesitate because he’s hurt—and Kacchan has to barrel in and get us out of the way!). Afterwards, Kacchan tells us bluntly, “Either get over it, or pick your balls up from the ground and tell ‘im.”

“And what am I meant to do with them later on?” We ask, mulish. “Put them in the same purse as yours?”

“Drop ‘em again, since you’re so good at being a pussy,” Kacchan would say, unimpressed.

This doesn’t change a thing! 😌 We resolve to ignore him—only it’s a little bit hard to, sometimes, when Deku sweeps by with his easy smile and sunshine-yellow cape, and Bakugou’s beside him, flinty-eyed. 🥺 Ruining the view!!!

(“Tell him,” Bakugou says one day, stopping by without Deku. “‘M sick of your stupid moony face.”

“Shut up!” We hiss—this is embarrassing!!!

“Tell him,” he says, louder. “Or I’m gonna do it for yer.”)

It’s a nightmare! Sometimes a girl just wants a harmless little crush to waste time with, an indulgent lil daydream, and now we have this ASSHOLE stomping around demanding we ruin that for ourselves by doing something as stupid as confessing our feelings! Hateful!!! Why would anyone do something that dumb!!!

While that torment is happening, we end up eating out with them—Deku and Bakugou, and a couple of their friends. Crammed in some tiny bar, eating chicken skewers and grilled okra and holding giant glasses of cheap beer. And it’s easy. We’re wedged between Deku and Bakugou and their friends are friendly and curious and have funny stories—and it’s a good night! We don’t worry about our stupid crush being Revealed, or even meaning anything. Not until Deku turns to listen to us as we’re explaining, too excited, some personal project (something fun and dumb we do in our quiet time, alone) to one of the others—and he’s smiling because he’s glad we’re having fun and we fumble with our words because oh, oh no, he’s really close and it’s unnerving and we forget the point of what we were talking about—

“Yeah, and?” Bakugou prompts, annoyed, passing us a plate of more skewers. “Don’t just end it there, dumbass—explain it.”

(We launch back into our explanation—and completely miss the confused look Deku gives Kacchan, who’s determinedly not looking at him)

Oh but Merms, you say, this is too easy—Bakugou’s winning!

Nope! Wrong! Because while Bakugou was being a grade-school asshole, Deku was doing what Deku does best—being his shiny good-boy self! Stubborn about asking for help—one day after work (or during! sometimes you just gotta have it out!) Deku finds us, idk, crying or something.

“What’s wrong?” He asks with all this maddening concern, like he really cares (he probably does). “Are you alright? I’m here—it’ll be okay.”

Sometimes all you need is the right person to ask the right question at the right time—we blab it ALL. Whatever our [insert problem here] is, he hears it ALL. Traumadump! He’s probably a little baffled, but I think a few years of being a Pro Hero means he’s seen the worst of it, and then some—he stays with us. Accompanies us home, afterwards. Maybe we detour to grab dinner, and it ends up involving more venting, more reassurances—we have an emotional hangover when he leaves that night but!! Then our phone pings!!! It’s Deku, saying that he’s asked [insert another Pro here] who has a Quirk that can help/experience in [problem here], and that if it’s okay, they’ll [insert beginning of solution here].

It’s so—reliving. Overwhelming. When we see Bakugou next, sans Deku, and he decides to be Rude about our crush we’re a little harsher than usual, sharper, in telling him to shut up. And Bakugou’s not a dumbass—he knows immediately that something’s shifted. He drops it, his mouth tightening, and we are chilly to him (we’re chilly to each other) for weeks afterwards.

But how is this a triangle, Merms? You ask! Where is the choice when someone is just so good?

Haha! You walked right into it! Because while Deku is the overwhelming good, the outreached hand promising it’s okay, I’ve got you, I will fix this, Bakugou is smoulder, the force that pushes us into being something better, because we have to, because we always had it. Problems will generally get worse before they get better—ours snowballs, the help Deku wrangled in exacerbating the issue. We explode! Remember, we gave our Mermie stand-in some passion—so BOOM! We can’t hold it anymore! We unleash and it’s Bakugou who appears, during the wreckage—with his giant Sneaky Introvert Ears, and his stupid Sneaky Introvert face, watching us warily—carefully.

“C’mon,” he says. “You can lose y’re shit, but ain’t any use in giving up.”

(He’s right, of course, as much as we don’t want to admit it. But we get back up, and when it comes time to patching everything together he’s there—Mr. Sneaky Introvert Stand-by, who grumbles but doesn’t leave.)

Have you ever been caught between two people? And maybe they’re so different from each other, and you, on the outside—but on the inside they’re both made of the same golden soul, the same strength and determination and you want that for yourself, in yourself? So you try to match it: you try to prove that you can help yourself, that you can be just as brave and as wonderful. You try to prove to Deku that his kindness doesn’t exist in a vacuum—that it can be returned, even in small things (you help others; you have lunch waiting for him, sometimes. you reach out a hand to him when he’s having a bad day, an ugly day, a day that shuts him down and drains him out). You try to prove to Bakugou that you’re made of the same firepower he is—that you can wield it, just like he can (you stick up for yourself; you show up for others, without them asking. You grin at him when he walks in, unwavering. Unflickering).

Things always come to a head, though. Best Friends isn’t a term either would use for the other—they both save that for other relationships, formative ones that built them up in ways neither of them were equipped to do for each other at the time. It isn’t enough to describe what they are to each other. What they have been. It doesn’t describe how they know each other like the ins and outs of their own souls, and how that means they can see it when the other eases in your presence. When one of them laughs too easily (Deku), or grins too sharp—sudden and bright and unexpected, like lightning (Bakugou). They don’t talk about it. It’s almost a kindness… until something goes terribly, terribly wrong (a massive villain fight, upending half the city and leaving it in embers), and one of them is caught in the blaze of a building, trying evacuate it—the other bleeding out in the middle of the battle-field, their latest threat curling over them, gloating.

We’re about to lose them both! But facing this, seeing this, one thing is clear—the worry for them, for them both, is hot and sickly and awful, but there’s one face we think of first, when it happens.

[delululand]

ok just finished reading ur txt ideal type post and all of it is so spot on! to add:

Sbn has obv a thing for anything considered ‘cute’ and i bet he really likes short ppl

Yj out of all members is the only one i could see has clear preference towards noonas as he likes being taken care of (he said he’s not comfortable to share his worries to younger members bcuz hes the eldest)

Gyu oh i can see him as hopeless romantic honestly so i feel like he could go with any type. but to catch his attention, id say he probably likes those who have similar vibes as park boyoung (his fave actress) but obv theres should be more to that to keep him interested

Tyun I DEFINITELY FEEL HE LIKES SOMEONE SIMILAR TO BEOMGYU. That’s it. Have u seen the way he treats gyu? Lol that man is whipped 😭

Kai similar to tyun (bff fr) he might like someone similar to beomgyu altho idk if its somethin bout vibe or personality

- a fellow intp

yes yes and yes!

i totally agree about soobin, especially considering he's about 6'1

and I agree with your opinion about yeonjun, since he is the only child in the family and he has no real noona, and he is also the eldest member in the group and from my observations this imposes a some kind of certain burden of responsibility, so I really see that he would like a noona

and i also agree about beomgyu and kai (he literally said several times that beomgyu is his type😭)

but let’s talk about tyun. what do you mean about him liking someone like beomgyu?? i mean…. i never think about him like that. to me he and beomgyu were always just friends and i mean like i have a best friend and i love her but i wouldn't date someone with her personality. it's not that I think she's bad, it's just that being friends and being in a relationship (=being attracted) with someone with the same personality is a little different? but idk about taehyun and beomgyu, maybe i just really don’t think about this well…

will be waiting your answer, fellow intp~

[baekhvuns]

I almost thought I forgot to send you an ask, dw abt the timing tho. it happens to me a lot 😭 I forget if I had done something and then i question it?

IKR HIS WHOLE PERSONALITY IRKS ME SO MUCH BUT THEN HIS FACE?? HIS FACEEEE!!! 😩😩 he's such a hypocrite honestly, and each time he makes a dumb fucking decision I want to punch him in the face so bad!! BUT THEN I RMR THT ONE CHAPTER WHERE NAVIER'S HAVING A FLASHBACK TO WHEN THEY WERE KIDS AND- 😭 I CANT-

Bcz...this just got too real? 🫣

NO STOP STOP ITTTT HWA TURNS INTO A PANTHER 😭😭😭 IM READY TO BE THE TARZAN!!

U GIVE ME THINGS TO GUSH OVER EVERY DAMN TIME! BCZ WDYM INTIMIDATING CEO X FAKE DATING AUS OH IM SO READY 😭

😒 don't even talk abt tht selfish piece of shit, I hate her. The audacity she has, like she literally just said "there's not a woman in the whole world that wouldn't sulk if his lover is spending time with another woman." 😃 miss girl YOU are the OTHER WOMAN! He is spending time with his WIFE! On her BIRTHDAY. Jail. I want to see her in jail. I'm glad Heinrey knows the kinda person she is, he and the empress are the only ones putting her in her place. Like it annoys me so damn much how she cries over every damn thing, idc whatever shit she went thru, it didn't give her any right to become a homewrecker. And soveishu is dumb enough. And navier?

....she's. Etheral. How to be her? How to hv a man like hers? How to be bold like her? How to BE NAVIER??

OMG GURL YES I READ IT 😭 I CANT BELIEVE SOVEISHU KISSED NAVIER'S NECK?!?!?!?! 😭 IM- IDK THT MAKES ME LIKE HIM MORE DESPITE HIS SHITTY ATTITUDE?? WHAT DO I DO 😭 but respectfully, he should fuck off....you lost the chance man. You lost her. No Bcz what does he want frm navier??? Does he think she has a heart of stone? As if she doesn't hv feelings??? He gets all riled up if she even talks with some other guy and look at him, going out with a strange girl he has no idea who tf she even is.

I'm telling you rashta is the downfall of the empire. Girl I'm telling ya, if I see a strange woman running to hug my man like tht..id throw hands idc what my status would be, I would THROW HANDS. (On both, my man, and the girl) Navier is so strong. BWAHAHAHAHA AND HIS GUTS TO SAY "IM A GOOD MAN" 😭🤚 STOPH- HES THE MOST DELULU PERSON EVER! Rashta is like that one annoying cousin. LIKE SHE HAD THE AUDACITY TO WEAR THE SAME DRESS AS NAVIER?!?!? FASION POLICE- YOU GOTTA ARREST HER! BCZ THT IS PLAGIARISM 😭

WTF WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCKK??? SHES PREGNANT 😭😭😭😭 (tbh I bet the emperor thinks, a baby is made if you hold hands) GURL IM GONNA FAINT FRM ALL THE DRAMA THAT UNFOLDS IN EVERY CHAPTER NOOOOOO NAVIER!! I WOULD HV CRIED I WOULD HV- I WOULD HV COLLAPSED AND STARTED TO WEEP SHES SO STRONG!! 😭😭

LESGOOO MY SHIP IS SAILING!! I WONDER WHEN THE DIVORCE EP WILL COME!! OH COME ON NOW IM FALLING FOR DUKE KAUFFMAN 🤧

NO WAY HE DRANK THE LOVE POTION AND DISTRACTED SOVEISHU 😭😭😭 IM DYING- :0 he punched him

I'm gonna kill him, I'm gonna kill him, I'm really gonna kill him I HATE HIM SO MUCH! NEVER IN MY ENTIRE LIFE HAS A CHARACTER MADE MY BLOOD BOIL THIS BAD!

Navier no...the potion has worn off, Duke Kaufmann likes you 😭

OHMYGOD KOSAIR IS HERE HES HERE AHHH SO PROTECTIVE 😭😭 NO I GET IT WHY U LIKE HIM! DOUBLE EMPRESS?!?! 😭 *Searches on Google:- how to be an empress?*

No way you fell asleep on the stairs...was it Bcz it was comfortable or you were just too tired to walk till your bed? 😭 (OMG I WROTE THIS THINKING YOU WROTE "I FELL ASLEEP ON THE STAIRS" AND I WAS LIKE ?!?! WHAT- I READ IT WRONG 😭😭 but this is so funny so I kept it in the ask, i cn be so silly sometimes)

NO WAY DROP THE NAME OF THE MOVIE! controversial? I'm questioning my tastes-

Ikr it's so wholesome and cute, the last episode ended on sung ho offering haebom to drink with him, man I'm totally up for everything that's coming next, Bcz haebom, is already in love and he might not realize it yet, Bcz the way he blushes EVERYTIME he sees sung ho. LIKE WHEN HE DROPPED HIM AT THE DAYCARE CENTRE HE THOUGHT "DID WE JUST LOOK LIKE A COUPLE RN??" NOW TELL ME THIS MF DOESN'T THINK ABT IT ALL THE TIME 😭😭 dw I'll update you once the new episode comes.

I don't wanna go to work tomorrow AND I DONT WANNA GO TO UNI I wanna fall in love with someone IM SO LOVESICK 🤧

LMFAOOOO 😭😭

RIGHT??? SOMETIMES I GENUINELY FEEL BAD FOR HIM BUT THHEN HE DOES SOMETHING AND IT MAKES ME SO MAD LIKE U DESERVE RASHTA ATP like he looks like hwa and it makes me feel bad but then he ABSOLUTELY DESERVES IT 😭

please stop. im in a public setting this picture to picture comparison is taking me out pls don’t let me do this bc i have this draft where the reader is an undercover empress and san’s a thief w heinry’s personality

LMFAOOOO NOT TARZAAN FBKWDHKW

A VERY INTIMIDATING CEO (YSL PERSONA) X HIS PRIV SECRETARY WHO WAS HIS JUNIOR IN UNI FBWMDJWKDJKW WRAPPED INTO FAKE DATING ANON DO NOT DO THIS RN

no srs as much of a goof heinry is he is quick to check someone like rashta or whoever disrespects navier like that,,,, rashta needs to go to jail esp for what she did to that maid???? gOD 😭😭😭 ITS ON SIGHT WITH HER AND THE WAY SHES COPYING NAVIERS STYLE AND HAIR ?????? CRYING honestly soveishu puts her in place sometimes and it makes me feel so good omg i just spoiled it for u

NAVIER IS THE PERSONA OF ELEGANCE !!! THE EMPRESS, ur asking the right questions bc when will fate put us under her fate 😭😭

NO SERIOUSLY AND HE MADE HER CRY LIKE ??? AND THEN ASKED HER TO MARRY HIM AGAIN AND BE THE MOTHER OF RASHTAS KID ???? BOY???? THATS NOT EVEN UR KID THQKDHWK NO LITERALLY PLAGIARISM WHERE U AT 🔫🔫🔫 DIVORCE EP WILL HAPPEN!!!!! HEINRY TREATS HER SO WELL GETS HER BLUSHING AND SHIT TOO 😭😭😭😭

duke kaufman is so 🥰☺️🥰 id be w him ngl very mingi coded

DUDE KOSAIR IS SO 😩😩😩 WHYS NAVIERS ENTIRE FAMILY SO PRETTY

NO LMFAOOO THIS IS SO CUTE FHWJD 😭😭😭 I FELL ON THE STAIRS LIKE GOING UP THE STAIRS did not fall asleep but i was transferring from my couch (where i slept on) to my room and i thought the platform of the stairs was there and i took a step and boom im collapsing <3 my eyes were closed yes bc i have this thing that if i open them while i transfer my sleep will vanish <3

omg ok it’s a 2006 bollywood movie w srk in it, it was extremely controversial bc of the concept but i think if it were released today it would’ve gotten a better reaction nonetheless

“DID WE JUST LOOK LIKE A COUPLE RN???” STOP IT. STOP IT. WEVE REACHED THE MOMENT OF REALIZATIONS !!!!!

manifesting a ceo who does ur taxes and handles everything for u <3

[skyllion-uwu]

for the ship meme, scarebat! :]

YAYYYYY I like these two but I don't look at very much content about them. Both because I can never find exactly what I'm looking for on AO3, and because I'm a bit intimidated since people make a LOT of sexually explicit content of Jonathan; I headcanon him as a sex-repulsed or sex-neutral ace and it's a bit of a minefield to dance around, so this is based on my own perception instead of any larger fandom influenced stuff

1. What made you ship it?

Not to toot my and my friend's horn, but the Batman Rogue friendship/dating sim we're kinda working on ^^; We started tossing around ideas for a Scarecrow route and then my brain kinda latched onto it. It helps that I started listening to Batman Audio Adventures and Jonathan and Bruce work together for a bit (I am not saying what happens because I don't wanna spoil it and I hope more people will listen to that show) and I started to like Jonathan a lot around that same time, so that whole cocktail resulted in me going "Oh I like this"

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

Basically,

[Image Description: The "I just think they're neat" meme depicting Marge Simpson holding a potato as she says the name of the meme /end ID]

In terms of specific stuff though... this applies to basically any Batman and rogue ship, but the whole concept that when they're fighting, Scarecrow can't tell if he wants to kill or kiss Batman. Also they both use fear as a means of control, so they're initially trying to exert fear over each other (I'd imagine they eventually sort out their shit but who knows. They're both constantly attempting to take control of their life through scaring others and they have a bunch of trauma they won't deal with in a healthy way). There's a lot of stuff about power dynamics I can't word together right now but it's fun to think about. On the softer side of things, I love Scarebeast and I love when Batman shows kindness towards his rogues, so if something happened that triggered Jon turning into Scarebeast and Batman helped calm him down during and after the event, I just feel like that could lead into them not being strictly enemies. Friendship or romance, I don't care, it's about being in a vulnerable position in front of your enemy and he helps you instead of trying to fight you. That's not a Scarebeast exclusive scenario but regardless it'd be a pivotal turning point for them

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Of the stuff I have seen, it's specifically Bruce and Jonathan as opposed to Batman and Scarecrow, and while it makes more sense for them to actually have a relationship as civilians, I just like the idea that Bruce is more able to be himself as Batman than as Bruce Wayne and that would reflect in his relationships as a result

[simmerdowndee]

NOAH’S HEART CHAPTER TWO PART THREE

The next morning, I wake up and the pillow had been moved while Raegan was cuddled right under me. I have to admit, I loved cuddling with her, so I wasn’t that annoyed by it. I need to get her out of here fast though, because I don’t want Alyse to see and get the wrong ide.

Raegan: Good morning. Noah: You moved the pillow. Raegan: I didn’t. Maybe you did. Noah: Mhm. Raegan: C’mon, you don’t miss this? Noah: I would be lying if I said no. Noah: But it’s time for you to go. Raegan: I suppose.

Raegan gets dressed and we head outside to her cab so she can go back to her hotel. As I’m saying goodbye, I see Alyse taking out her trash.

Noah: Hey, good morning. Alyse: Good morning. Long night? Noah: You could say that. Alyse. Mhm. Well, have a good day. I’m gonna go get ready to head into the office. Noah: I’m headed that way for a meeting. Did you want to grab coffee? Alyse: I have a lot of work to do, so I’ll pass. Thank you. Noah: Okay, I’ll talk to you later? Alyse: Yeah.. sure.

That was odd. She usually likes going to get coffee….

I go into town for a few meetings and then head to grab lunch. I usually hear from Alyse by now, but she did say she was busy… Anyways, I’m having lunch with Dakota today.

Dakota: Why does it take you being near for work to come see me? You don’t miss your nieces? You don’t miss ME? Noah: I missed your dramatic ass. Dakota: Good. How’s life? Noah: Good. The bar is doing well. Dakota: I’ve seen. I was there not too long ago. Noah: Yeah I know, I called Theo to come get your drunk ass. Dakota: I was not drunk. Noah: I’ve never seen Theo so annoyed. Dakota: Okay, maybe I was a little drunk. Noah: A little………? Dakota: Okay, I was shitfaced. Look, it was my first night away from the girls solo. Noah: I do miss them. Can we go see them after lunch? Dakota: Of course! Dakota: Something’s bothering you… what’s wrong? Noah: So… I’ve been seeing someone… Dakota: Oh? Noah: I will introduce you to her if we get serious, but she told me recently she didn’t want to jump into a relationship, which was fine with me…. Dakota: So, what’s bothering you? Noah: I haven’t really heard from her today, and we typically talk every day.

Dakota: Is she working? Noah: She did say she was busy, but she still usually talks to me….. Dakota: You must really like her to be bothered like this?

Noah: I do like her…. Noah: I feel like she got the wrong idea… Dakota: What do you mean? Noah: So last night, Raegan showed up at Sorso. Dakota: Oh hell, this bitch. Noah: We went back to my place because she wanted to “talk.” She basically told me she regrets breaking up with me and wanted to work things out. Dakota: And what the hell did you say? Noah: I told her it wasn’t that simple. Dakota: Good. She doesn’t deserve you, Noah.

Noah: She stayed the night, but we didn’t do anything. We did sleep in the same bed… Dakota: Noah… Noah: I know, I know. Noah: When I was saying goodbye, Alyse may have seen us. Dakota: If she did, that’s probably why you haven’t heard from her…..

Noah: I don’t understand why she’d be upset though. She said she wasn’t looking to be exclusive.

Dakota: Something tells me she isn't ready to be in a committed relationship just yet, but she also didn’t plan on dating other people but you…

Noah: Well, she never told me anything, and I didn’t know there was rules when you are single? Dakota: There isn’t Noah, but clearly she really likes you.

Dakota: You should talk to her. Figure out what she truly wants. Noah: I’ll try…. If she ever responds to me.

Dakota: She will. Noah: I wish she’d be more like you and just tell me she’s jealous. Dakota: Excuse me? Noah: Oh god Koda, you are jealous at any woman who looks Theo’s way. Dakota: I AM NOT. Noah: Remember when we all went to the farmers market, and you swore the vendor was flirting with Theo? Dakota: That’s not fair, she was. How did he get his meal free but you, Laura, and I didn’t? Noah: *Laughs* Noah: I’ll talk to her soon, but for now, let’s go see my nieces. Dakota: You can take them back home with you, if you want. Noah: *Laughs*

[wuffgang-ameowdeus-moozart]

I saw the impersonate you invitation and I'm not very good at impersonations, but I will tell you what I think you are like based on your blog!

First of all you love Lucy from Fairytale, and have a lot of fun playfully obsessing over her.

I say playful, because you have a suprisingly nuanced understanding of the characters that you like. You dont just take the text (or whatever medium you are engaging with) at face value, you think through what is happening and what it means. You have excelent literary analysis skills.

I think you are probably pretty blunt and opinionated, but you are not mean or unkind. You care deeply for the people around you and put a lot of effort into understanding them.

You may lean towards pessimism sometimes, but you have a sarcastic sense of humor which can make it seem like you are more pessimistic than you really are.

You are very enthusiastic about the beautiful parts of the world, and delight in happy suprises.

I have no idea why, but you feel like somebody who thinks marine biology is cool af.

How did I do? Did I get anything right?

oh my god I love this alskfjsjf

first of all: sorry this took me a hot second to answer 😅

second: hey how does it feel to cut out a piece of my soul only to serve it to me on a silver platter?

gonna go more in depth with each one under the cut (bc I love talking about myself lol) but if you don't have the nerves for that ATM let it be known that you've got me clocked my guy. if I have to describe myself in a job interview I'm gonna ring up beloved tumblr anon to do it for me 🫡 💕

most inaccurate is probably that I'm actually not sure whether I'd call myself an optimist or pessimist (though I do know that I make an effort to be outwardly more optimistic than I actually feel) and while I do absolutely adore the ocean I'm not sure I'd say that I'm particularly interested in marine biology specifically. it's one of those things I keep telling myself I want to do more research on but I never actually do it, so like, theoretically yes but not in practice? does this make sense?

1. id say lucy heartfilia lives rent-free in my head but it would probably be more accurate to say that I feed her scraps of brain matter and heart tissue and devotion in hopes she deems my soul a worthy resting place (<- look how normal I am about her!)

FT was not only my longest obsession ever to date but also my first after moving countries, so being unwell about Lucy again feels weirdly nostalgic in a way?

2. oh yeah I do adore analysing texts and characters and devices and stuff. which is also why I adore wuthering heights lol (cycles and parallels and tragedies my beloved). I don't really know how to read WITHOUT doing this tbh? like of course there is a difference when I am actively engaging with it but sometimes I'll say something that seems pretty obvious to me and then people will be like "this is a great analysis!" lol

(also not to brag but I've been told more than once that I often approach narratives and symbolism from an angle that others haven't considered before 😏)

I actually started studying literature, but for various reasons (which include not being able to deal with a bunch of people clacking on their laptops at the same time the sound was literally driving me insane does anyone have any tips on how to deal with that) I stopped going after like a month

tho id say my favorite thing to analyze is actualy theater plays? especially because of the added element of speech (it feels unfair to judge an audiobook by this metric since books were primarily written to be read but theater is literally made to be spoken aloud and thus it is the authors duty to also think about the cadences of the words and what the different sounds feel like instead of just focusing on how it looks like on paper imo) and visuals

whenever I go with a friend (I need to go with someone so I can talk about it) I'll first ask them what they thought so I can gather my thoughts and kinda compare and then I won't shut up until we have to go out separate ways lol

3. which is a great way to get into the third point: I do have opinions about everything! (unless I don't have a lot of information on the topic in question). I always keep myself open for counter arguments (my biggest fear is becoming one of those obnoxious stubborn ignorant people who are proud of being stuck in their ways and categorically refuse to even consider other viewpoints and opinions) but unless this is about something factual where you have more experience/facts than me it's actually pretty hard to convince me.

because while I love sharing my opinions to everyone that'll listen, im Not a fan of confrontations? I tire of them pretty quickly so depending on whether you pass my vibe check I will either be honest (hey yo agree to disagree can we change topics) or pretend to agree just so we can move on without anyone getting prissy lmao

4. and yes I do try to always be kind to people! dni if you don't make an effort to wish the bus driver a good day tbh. I have this need to be acknowledged and remembered by strangers and also feel really bad whenever im mean to people so my compromise is to try to always be friendly while wearing bright hair and clothes lol

I think I also have a pretty approachable aura? I'm often asked for directions and stuff (which is always a shame for the people asking because i am lostTM)

5. okay so. this is actually a fun exercise to do. because characters in books need to be fairly simple at their core (so the author can write them consistently) while creating the illusion of being complex and layered - and you can kind of do the same thing to real people!

in my mind that makes me a bad shittalker because I'll be actively doing this while you are trying to tell me about something shitty someone else did to you. I'll try to look at it from various angles (at least within the realm of the possible when going solely by a very biased POV) which often comes across as defending them? but I think this is a rather unpopular opinion since I can't count the times I've heard "I know you don't like to shittalk people, but-" as a conversation starter lol

6. I am! a sarcastic shit! I can clearly tell the difference between my sarcasm and my serious voice, but people say that it sounds the same to them (which just makes it more fun tbh lol) tho I think that's only fair considering I often have a hard time telling when other ppl are being serious vs not

7. idk where I am on the optimism pessimism scale tbh. when I was small I figured out this neat magic trick where if u pretend to have really low expectations things seem even cooler than they actually are. it makes sense (expectations and everyone is master of their own reality and contrast etc etc) but back then I genuinely thought I had unravelled the fabric of the universe lol

so like. I'll always be kinda expecting the worst while at the same time not quite believing it? so I'm not disappointed when the "worst" does indeed happen but am also not actively psyching myself out? idk the only gymnastics I'm good at are the mental ones

long story short anon I hope I don't come off too strong but I think I am in love with you <3

[kokoch4n3l]

DEAD GIRL’S BEACH࿐ྂ KUROKAWA IZANA x f!oc x SANO MANJIRO

ONE — mr. kurokawa

“patient is a possible narcissist sociopath but is oddly calm. It’s a bit scary honestly. I wonder what he’s thinking… he's pretty nice though. Sometimes that is” — MAYA’S ROUGH NOTES ON K.I

chapter summary: enter Kaneko Maya, a newly graduated psychiatrist with a shit load of student debt racked up and her scary but hot patient from 4th floor, Kurokawa Izana.

chapter warnings: unrequited love, inaccurate depictions of psychiatric hospitals, usage of drugs, mentions of gang violence, mentions of pedophiles, mentions of suicide, mentions of addiction, mentions of alcohol, f!oc with absolutely zero self-preservation skills

word count: 3500

moodboard | masterlist | chapter 2

There was something about one-sided love that was so tragic but so beautiful to Maya. Just loving someone so much despite them not feeling the same way back. It was beautiful but tragic and also Maya's favourite book trope.

One-sided love, Hanahaki disease, right person wrong time, major character death.

Maya lived for tragic endings. When Disney movies with their happy ending stopped sufficing, she turned to books with dark romance, thriller and just dark shit in general. It was pretty nice to read. Don't get her wrong, she still loves her Disney movies just... It was nice to read about a girl who doesn't get the guy she wants at the end. After all, that was basically her life story. "Dude, I'm literally about to start my shift" Maya hisses at her 8-year-long crush over the phone as she

"Maya, what the fuck are you doing taking the night shift on a Friday anyway? I told you to switch to the day shift. It's gotten dangerous at night" Matsuno Chifuyu scolds her on the phone

Matsuno Chifuyu, Maya's senior from middle school. He was about 5 years older than her, currently 26, about to turn 27 in a few months. Maya met him in middle school when she was in 7th grade and he was in his final year of high school. She met him at a park in the middle of the night while he was trying to bandage the wounds on his face without a mirror. Maya called him stupid and Chifuyu scolded her because he was obviously older. He was older and seemed so out of her league but oh did Maya fall head over heels for him. There was just something about guys who rode motorcycles that did something to her heart. Unfortunately for her, Chifuyu did not go that young in terms of dating. She asked him before when he took her out after she graduated high school. He said the youngest he'd go was 2 years and any girl younger just seemed like a little kid to him.

Long story short, Maya got child-zoned.

She doesn't even know if that was a thing but Chifuyu didn't even friend zone her nor did her sister zone her. He just implied she was too young. It made her sad but Maya was alright with pining from afar and never confessing to him. "Night shift makes more money y'know... Besides, I don't actually have to work during the night shift and just make sure everyone goes to sleep after taking their medication. I told you this c'mon" Maya says as she clips her ID to the front pocket of her white coat and puts on the black keycard bracelet thing they gave her that allows her to go from floor to floor by pressing it against the scanners around all the doors and exits in the building.

"Maya. I understand you're not worried because you've been working there for a month now but it's gotten dangerous at night time in general. Don't you watch the news?"

Chifuyu sounds worried. He always sounds worried and his worry makes butterflies erupt in Maya's stomach. "you mean that Tokyo Manji Gang guys? C'mon Chifuyu, the probability of me being attacked by a gang is low" she says pressing her phone to her ear while fixing her bangs with the other as she looks at herself in the mirror of the locker room "I may be drowning in student debt but like, at least it's no interest and I haven't taken money from any sketchy place. I'll be fine. And, you have my live location so it should be fine"

She hears Chifuyu sigh on the other side. "Alright fine. But keep applying and see if you get somewhere better. And I am seeing you tomorrow right?"

Maya worked weekdays Monday to Friday on the night shift and had the weekends off. It wasn't that bad in her opinion. Her job paid crazy well for a simple psychiatrist job and she was able to steadily start to pay off her student loan and pay the rent for her apartment. So maybe it was fine that she worked at night time in the midst of... 'crazy' people, drug addicts, suicidal, violent killers and even more, she got money. Right? "Yup, I will see you tomorrow. Pick me up?" Maya asks

"Of course. Be safe Maya."

Maya feels her heart clench and she bids Chifuyu goodbye. He cut the call and not long after she gets a text from him telling her goodnight. She sighs. Kaneko Maya had a university degree, wrote multiple essays, and read many articles but she still read Chifuyu's text as I love you.

Sunshine Grove Psychiatric Hospital had 4 levels.

1st floor was the entry with the employee locker room, front desk, storage, etc.

2nd floor was where all the drug addicts recovering from addiction were as well as those under suicide watch.

3rd floor had every one that came under other.

The 4th floor was the high-risk area with people that were there under court order. This means they got sent here as part of their sentence under the claims of insanity.

Each floor had a psychiatrist, 2-3 doctors and about 4 nurses assigned. There weren't many people admitted into Sunshine Grove due to how eerie and scary the building was and Maya doesn't blame them. But that also means less work for her so she isn't complaining. Maya was unfortunately assigned to the 4th floor. The 4th floor was lacking the required amount of employees by a lot. It had just 1 nurse and 1 doctor. The doctor, Sawamura or something, rarely ever even showed up. The nurse always tended to hide on the lower floors as well. Which left Maya alone on the floor with the security guard who was always stationed at the elevator. "good evening doctor" The security guard, Mr. Ueda greeted her as she stepped out of the elevator with a large cart

4th floor looked like what you'd imagine the inside of any psychiatric hospital look like. Unlike the other two floors which had some pop of colour, the 4th floor was just bland and gloomy. Flickering tube lights, white tiled floors and grey walls. If Maya didn't love money so much she wouldn't be working in such a shitty place. Especially in a place that looked like the set of a horror movie. "good evening" Maya said with a smile

The cart was stacked with trays on the inside. Food for the patients. It was dinner time and unlike the lower floors, 4th-floor patients didn't get the luxury of eating with other people and had to be given their food in their rooms. "how about you give me the tray for room 410" The guard said with his usual deadpan-monotonous-I-take-no-shit face

Maya nods and pulls out the tray and hands it to the guard to take to room 410. Room 410 had a convicted child predator rapist. According to Mr Ueda, Maya looked too much like a child and he wasn't about to let her get close to him. It was a pretty sweet gesture in her opinion and she never stopped him. So as Mr Ueda goes over to room 410 to give food to the child predator, Maya starts going from room to room with each tray. Despite the 4th floor housing psychotic criminals, it was relatively the calmest among them all. Very rarely any incidents and honestly speaking, Maya doesn't think any of them actually have anything wrong with them. Well all except him.

The man in room 401 at the end of the hall.

Kurokawa Izana. He was 30, and about to be 31 in a month or so. He was half Japanese and half Filipino with white hair, long white lashes, tan skin and violet eyes.

Absolutely fucking gorgeous in Maya's opinion.

Older guys just really hit the spot for her if you couldn't tell already. However, not only was Kurokawa Izana a criminal but he was also her patient. She had to keep things ethical here especially since it was her first job in this field. "Good evening Mr Kurokawa" Maya greets carrying the tray as she steps into his room after scanning her bracelet on the card reader system outside his door, the door locking shut behind her

But there was something odd she found about Kurokawa Izana and that was the fact that unlike the other criminals here, he was often hooked up to some IV bag. Not always but, very often. A lot of the other criminals didn't even get medication so it was weird for Maya to see this. "good evening Doc, I hope the drive here wasn't bad" Izana says with no smile but a sweet tone as usual

Once again, Izana is hooked up to the IV bag. He's lying in his hospital bed with the blanket pulled up to his hips, wearing the all-white 2 piece outfit all the patients here were required to wear. He's leaned back into the bed in a half-sitting half laying position looking a bit groggy like always when hooked up to the IV. It was a pretty potent drug and she couldn't even pronounce the name if she tried. Many times when clocking in she'd be visited by the hospital director himself and he'd tell her to go hook Izana up to the drip. She of course would comply. But it raised many questions in her as to why. "It's Friday night, such a shame you're working the night shift" Izana says as Maya sets the food down on the table in front of him

Maya shrugs as she set the food out like she does for all the patients. "It's whatever. I'm making good money so"

Izana smiles this time. It's eerie. "of course. That's what matters huh? You told me about your student loans last week, need to pay those off"

But unlike the other criminals on this floor, Kurokawa Izana was the only one she would have conversations with about things other than the usual things she was supposed to talk about. "Yeah ugh... So glad they got rid of interest else I would have been dying" Maya says with a laugh "would've sold a kidney or something at that point"

Izana laughs at her joke then slowly brings a hand up and starts to eat. His movements are slow because of the drug. Maya wonders why they're giving it to him. She wasn't a doctor so she didn't exactly know what it did but from the numbers on the bag she knew the dosage was high. "How about you give me some company while I eat, doctor?" Izana asks, cocking his head to the side

Maya nods and takes a seat on the chair in the room. Unlike the other patients, Maya didn't know what Izana did. When she was given his file, so many things about him were blacked off except for his birthday, name, gender and non-important things. Maya had to start off by knowing absolutely nothing about the guy. To make things worse she didn't find anything online either. If he was a criminal she should have found something online but there was nothing. So, Maya had to start from scratch. Over the month she was there she spent time trying to figure out exactly what Izana's condition was and why he was there but she got no answers from the staff and she didn't want to ruin Izana's privacy by asking him even though it was basically her job. It was a bit annoying since she didn't know what she was working with but she figured it could be worse. "Doing anything special this weekend?" Izana asks as he eats

Maya shrugs. "nah, not really. Just going out with a friend"

Izana raises a brow and then completely twists her words. "Boyfriend. You didn't tell me you had a boyfriend"

Getting to know Izana from scratch meant that she also ended up sharing information about herself which she knows she shouldn't have done but... Izana was nice. Kind of. "No, no! Not boyfriend. Just a friend" Maya corrects but the slight pink tinge on her cheeks says otherwise

"You definitely like him" Izana says with a teasing smirk, pointing his spoon at her

There were moments when Maya felt like she was talking to a friend rather than a patient. It was pretty unprofessional on her part but Izana had always been the one to initiate it so it wasn't exactly her fault. "that's... not true" Maya attempts to deny but fails miserably

"You can't fool me, Doctor Kaneko, you're an open book" Izana says, not smiling but his tone eerily cold now

Maya suppresses a shiver. If there was one word she could use to describe Kurokawa Izana(other than fucking hot), it would be scary. The constant switch of emotions on his face made her nervous. It felt like if she lied to him, he'd know. Maya sometimes wonders if Kurokawa Izana is a mind reader because he always seems to know everything before she even finishes telling him. But she is a psychologist working in a psychiatric hospital and she shouldn't let a patient get into her head, especially a criminal. So Maya puts on a professional smile and sucks it up. She needs the money, she'll get through it. "You got me. Just this guy I met in middle school. He's older" She thinks about Chifuyu and feels her heart speed up a bit "He doesn't like me back though. We're just friends"

"Awe... So it's one-sided" He says and Maya can't help but think he's mocking her

Maya shrugs. "Yeah I guess"

As Izana continues to eat, Maya looks around his room to make sure everything is in place. It's something she was required to do to make sure nothing was missing or a possible security breach wouldn't happen. But nothing like that would happen. These rooms were bland. A single hospital bed, a window with acrylic glass and white curtains, light grey walls, tube lights, white tiled floors, a table that was bolted to the ground and a chair that was too heavy to be picked up. The 4th-floor rooms were just glorified jail cells, nothing like the rooms on the 2nd floor with the colours and pretty pot lights that you could adjust. Then again, this floor was full of criminals. Maya often forgets that thought because of how oddly calm everyone on this floor is. Apparently, it wasn't always like this. Maya would rather not know the reason for this tranquillity, fearing the answer wouldn't be something she liked. "So I'm guessing you won't be confessing to him?" Izana asks

Maya giggles, covering her mouth with her hand. "I'm starting to think you like gossip, Mr. Kurokawa"

Izana scowls and denies it immediately but Maya laughs and stands up after seeing the time on her Apple watch and that Izana is almost done with his food. "Okay uh... I'm gonna go collect all the trays" Maya tells him "Be back later for yours"

She walks towards the door and feels his gaze on her back. He was scary. So fuckin scary but also so damn hot. Maya knows it was unethical and just morally wrong to be thinking that way about her patient. It was messed up. But thinking and acting were two different things. She was in no way abusing her power. She was just, admiring. Right? She was a fresh out of college single 22-year-old. Cut the girl some slack. She looks back at him one last time and for a moment everything just felt wrong. Izana is staring at her. Head cocked to the side and eyes blank, void of any emotion. Maya smiles nervously and presses the bracelet on her wrist against the magnetic reader and the door clicks open. She leaves quickly but not after making sure that the door is properly locked. Maya shivers as she walks back down the hall toward the first room she had given food to and sees that the security guard has already brought back the tray from room 410 as usual. It was a routine almost. Maya would bring everyone dinner first, Mr. Ueda would bring it to 410's inhabitant, Maya would end off at 401 and talk to Izana for a while, she'd leave and go get the trays from the rooms and Mr. Ueda would get it from 410. Now Maya was back at room 401 to finally get Izana's tray. She stares at the door for a moment, almost not wanting to go in. They didn't exactly restrain the criminals at Sunshine Grove. She found it weird that they wouldn't. It was just their rooms with the heavy metal doors that were keeping them confined. However, inside the rooms, she was vulnerable. However, Maya never felt that way with any of the other patients on the 4th floor except for Izana. She presses her bracelet against the magnetic reader and the door clicks open. She walks in. "I'm back Mr. Kurokawa!" She says with a smile

But even if Izana was scary and made her feel vulnerable, he was still her favourite patient. "Welcome back, sweetheart." Izana says in his usual low timbre

Deep down Maya knew she was going to be disappointed the day she found out exactly what Izana did to end up here. She knew it was going to make her sad because he was pretty nice to talk to if you ignored how his gaze would go blank and how he seemed almost like an evil spirit— then Kurokawa Izana was a pretty solid guy.

Maya ends her shift at 5 am. As she's waiting for the elevator to come up so she can go back down to the first floor and clock out, Mr. Udea, like always asks how her shift was. "It was fine. Can't wait to go and sleep" Maya tells him with a sigh

Mr Ueda nods and looks around at the single hallway. "From the past month you've been working here I see you spend a lot of time in 401" He says

Technically, all patients were supposed to be asleep after dinner. But the rules for the 4th floor were different. They didn't care what they did in their rooms as long as they weren't causing a ruckus. However, many of the patients still slept anyway. Many except Izana. Maya was a psychiatrist working the night shift when all patients were sleeping. It was dumb for her to even be here in the first place. But money is money no matter what time it is earned. "Well, he's the only one awake and insists on talking to me. I'm a psychiatrist and it's kinda my job to talk to him" Maya tells him with a shrug

Mr. Ueda is frowning for some reason. It almost looks like he knows what Kurokawa Izana did. "What did he do to get in here by the way? 100 percent not a child groomer or pedophile since you let me go into his room... Uh, probably not a rapist either..." Maya keeps trying to think of the possibilities but they're endless

It's been a whole month since she was hired here and she made absolutely no progress in figuring out what Kurokawa Izana did to be admitted into Sunshine Grove. "Maybe don't think about it too much Doctor" Mr. Ueda says cutting her off "It's not important. You're doing your job better than any other psychiatrist that has worked here so far and I think that's enough. Don't concern yourself with what Kurokawa Izana did or who he is"

It sounds more like a demand than a suggestion. Maya is about to ask him what he means but the elevator doors open. "I'll see you Monday, Doctor Kaneko" Mr. Ueda says simply

Maya just nods and steps into the elevator.

How odd...

notes: reblogs, comments and likes are very much appreciated! I hope you enjoyed. I usually don’t edit my works and just say fuck it and post so if there are mistakes, my bad lol. Once again, not meant to be accurate depiction of psychiatric facilities!

[wulfums]

Introducing Gusher Crusher, my Bugsnax sona! He used to be famous for being in commercials for an orange drink- he could crush the can in his mouth and drink it that way! Buuut after a scandal and people finding out he's been faking it, he went to Bugsnax island...

He is super charismatic and Loves to boogie. He is also very judgy and loves drama, which made him Beffica's new bestie...until he found out SHE was the one who broke the story about him faking crushing the cans.

Gusher and Cromdo get along due to a love for advertising and selling useless shit to people. Cromdo knows he himself does NOT have the charisma to do that well- but Gusher DOES. Gusher doesnt have the business sense to come up with "product", but Cromdo does!

So they quickly became a team. The reporter, upon doing Gusher's quests, finds out that for a long time Gusher COULD crush those cans- but he had a bad tmj injury and could no longer do it well, but wanted to hide it becuase he didnt want to lose his status...

He was always invited to places as "The guy from the grumpy-d commercials who can crush cans" and he didnt want to lose that! He thinks theres nothing else to him besides that anyone would ever like  :(

I think the reporter then asks Cromdo about Gusher and he well..starts gushing. So you can ask him "You seem to like Gusher...a lot." and Cromdo is like "Buddy, the only thing I care about around here is these snax, so either give me some or get outta here"

But the reporter can follow him midday to the Mill- surprisingly meeting up with Chandlo and Snorpy...asking how this whole "Gay" and "Love" stuff works. I think the 3 eventually notice you and Cromdo is like "FINE ya caught me red handed. Er..rainbow handed, I guess."

"If youre gonna go snoopin around like that at least help a guy out. I gotta know if Crusha feels the same, you know? I didnt think Id feel like this about anyone since my wife left but- him..I do."

And Chandlo is like "So you want us to help you figure out if your crush likes you?" And Snorpy is like "I do have on question." and Cromdo is like "What." and Snorpy is like "Are you stupid? He CLEARLY likes you, hes not subtle."

And Cromdo is like "Oh yeah, Mr King-Of-Love-Subtelty over here got somethign to say." And Chandlo is like "??? Snorps what is he talking about" and Snorpy is like "OK ITS TIME FOR YOU TO LEAVE." and kicks Cromdo and the Reporter out

Cromdo is like "I dont know why I was even tryna ask a couple who doesnt even know theyre DATING, geesh. Id ask Lizbert and Eggabel but...Obviously I cant." And you can say somth like 'Maybe treat it like a sales pitch?'

Cromdo is like "You're RIGHT. Maybe I should do this. The Cromdo-Way. Thanks buddy- I won't even charge ya this time." and You can go '...FOR WHAT?' and Cromdo just ends conversation.

So the next day you see the conclusion to the quest line, which is Cromdo 'pitching' a new product..and that product? is HIM. It takes Gusher a sec to realize but when he does hes like O MGOMGOMGOMGOMG I THOUGHT YOUD NEVER ASK

So these two middle aged advertising men are together now. You get a pride flag in the mail but theres bite marks on it and the letter says "Sorry, this was on the floor last night, we got a bit crazy. Hope its still usable."

[applefan28]

Oh, and if you feel like it and I can send another.. (sighs..) Suitcase. For the character ask :)!!

SOUPCASE MY BELOVED of course :)

Sexuality Headcanon: Because i've been seeing it on tumblr a lot and have been very much taken by the art and content of it, aroace Suitcase is really neat :) Like, Suitcase’s whole deal in the show revolves around alliances, friendship, trust, etc. Sure, even though there is no canonical romantic subplot or show in ii, Suitcase to me falls under “would not have any correlation to a romantic storyline with anyone or herself in her own feelings”. She’s a pretty lonely girl more occupied with emotional bonds and connections with her teammates. Not to say romance can’t be involved, but Suitcase was more headfirst into wanting unity amongst her teammates, wanting connection, wanting all to not feel at all left out or unheard, she just wanted to be a part is all (and as an aromantic, none of that feels romantic to me lol). Suitcase also just seems like someone who would never really pick up on social cues in romantic contexts about others or towards herself yknow? In the same vein as Apple who never thought of it or caught onto such feelings, Suitcase just didn’t catch the memo and she’s fine with that (just confused as to how the hell do others feel that way?) If anything, unlike Apple, she doesn’t feel all that inclined to partake in romantic endeavours, because it doesn’t come to her nor is it part of her communication in displaying love for others. I do enjoy her being more of a girl liker in an aroace way if anything, because yes <3

Gender Headcanon: I love both trans gal and transmasc “girl” aligned nonbinary suitcase, as well as being intersex. For sure, she isn’t cisgender, so I’d think her gender would be just as about less concrete in labels as her understanding in attraction. Transfem in the sense that as she aged, her voice deepened, but still has that “girlish” charm in it as she’s pretty fine with her voice, but likes to add flare to it out of boosting her confidence. Fem-aligned transmasc also is based off the voice change. Her having identified as “girl” in a very nonbinary “im my own definition of Girl” way, she along the lines realizes she’d like to transition somewhat masculinely, because she enjoys the thought of having a blend of it in how she presents herself (especially by voice). All this whilst wearing plain, boxy, and politely feminine clothing (always fond of the suspenders + skirt + buttoned down + headband + mary janes combo <3)

A ship I have with said character: Suitcase x Suitcase. I want this girl to love herself and be able to stand for herself without feeling pressured or at risk.

A BROTP I have with said character: Pickle, id love to see them two game and have a sorta nice talk about their own personal feelings they’ve been in battle with! I like Pickle being the “gamer” of the hotel, and Suitcase with that “10/10 would watch again”, there’s potential silliness in such a dynamic :^) Suitcase isn’t really as much of a gamer as Pickle, she’s casual in her manner of speech and communication, which brings in this friendly banter that meshes well with Pickle’s chill and goofy attitude. Not to mention, they’re both characters that are about personal growth and regaining a confidence in themselves that they’ve lost from another putting them down. I think they’d have some heartfelt talk about the such… though it would be kinda funny knowing Suitcase has a sorta odd relationship with the same guy that’s probably dating Pickle… lol.

A NOTP I have with said character: Nickel seems very obvious to go with, Knife as well, honestly about any other guy in the show.

A random headcanon: I know it was a one-time visual gag, but the scene where she has tools in her makes me think Suitcase is well versed in construction/engineering/mechanics and probably is OSHA certified. You know how there’s that headcanon of three background characters being Suitcase’s dads? I’d like to think the three built their home and managed around, with the electrical engineering and plumbing and what have you, doing their own fixings with a young Suitcase around curious about what her dads are doing. They were a hands-on type of family who when something was up, any of them had to take care of it by hand and Suitcase was no stranger to learning and taking care of performing a fixer upper. Maybe she wanted to or is in the trades! I just think it’s funny if Suitcase were OSHA certified and Test Tube was not.

General Opinion over said character: Suitcase is a sweetheart that really deserves better treatment in universe and in her writing. i don’t talk of her much but she’s in the range of “sad lonely girls that deserve the world” that i tend to enjoy :) She’s just so quaint to me, tragic with issues and burdened by loneliness, i also wish she weren't just dumped around as being the weak nimble character with le plot relevant hAlLuCiNaTiOnS. Suitcase should have a gun, she should go stupid go crazy, i want her to curse out on Nickel sooo so bad, i hope she wins and uses the money for her own good <3

[ma-lark-ey]

4.) City of Fallen Angels (8/24/23-11/14/23)

Okay so like. I’ve only read the scene where Kyle, Simon, & Jace all meet and I just. Listen. Hear me out? Throuple. Yk I’ve been on my Jamon shit since book two. Im still on my shit. But the tension hetween Jace and Kyle??? Simon moving in with Kyle so quickly??? They all have two hands.

I can feel in my bones that Kyle will probably Not Be A Friend and I will regret my comments. But I’m sticking to my guns. If all else fails I still got my Jace/Simon agenda to fight for 🫡💪

“Back from your breakfast meeting, I see,” [Jace] said without much welcome in his tone. “I bet you thought you were clever, sneaking off like that.”

“Medium clever,” Simon acknowledged, “Like a cross between George Clooney’s ‘Ocean’s Eleven’ and the Mythbusters, but, ya know, better looking.”

“I’m always so glad I have no idea what you’re vacantly chattering about.” Said Jace. “It fills me with a sense of peace and well-being.”

“Simon sat down at the table. “You ought to eat something.”

“Look who’s talking.”

“Im all out of blood right now. Unless you’re offering.”

THEY. ARE. BOYFRIENDS.

Clary can fuck off I need her boyfriend to kiss the vampire.

KYLE BEING NAMED FUCKING. JORDAN KYLE. NO. THATS NOT REAL. if his last name was like, Avery or Jackson I'd EXCEPT IT but KYLE??? thats not a real last name. absolutely not. Also Maia was so fucking real for trying to kill on sight me fucking too baby girl.

also literally why is Clary a background character n her own damn series right now like no one gives a shit about the warlock baby give me the vamp goss.

ALSO is Jace fr trying to pull away from Clary because of horny disease if my theory proves true i will NEVER stop bullying this man.

"I'm sticking to Simon because its the closest I can get to you" you let this man kiss your neck unironically and also unironically offered again. you are in love with him.

“If love were food, I would have starved on the bones you gave me.” Okay poet Magnus. Get it ig???

OH ALEC ITS NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE OH FUCK ME

So a lot of my commentary didnt save so we’ll bullet point

The Max dup was uncalled for and MEAN.

I want a Stephen Herondale ghost moment. GIVE JACE HIS DAD!!

Isabelle & Jordan’s dynamic is wonderful.

I need Simon to stop being a problem for hhhhh a chapter. Minimum

#GiveJaceABreak2024

WHAT THE FUCK IS LILITH AND WHY IS SHE KILLING CLARY

Thank you.

Collapses into my desk chair after working on the same hundred page stint for a week. IM FINISHING IT TODAY FUCKERS.

Obsessed with Clary “hold on let me use my boyfriend’s catholic guilt to fuck his ass up real fast” Fray

Alec needs to go have makeup sex istg your gayass is more focused on your man than the LITERAL CULTISTS

“he’s way past his sell-by date” FOUL.

Okay so if all a vamp needs to be a daylighter is to drink from a shadowhunter why the hell is simon the only one??? Does it need to be consensual.

OH MAYBE THATS IT. If a vampire drinks from a shadowhunter consensually they get the ability to walk in the day because they’ve experienced an angel’s secondhand grace or some bullshit.

Look. Im still in my Simace bullshit. I want them to makeout.

“There’s not death do us part for those who never die”

^ me at that line fr.

This is my petition to put Jace on mood stabilizers. I think it’d solve a lot of his problems

AYO CUSSWORD!!

Simon & Jace silent talks. They’re BOYFRIENDS.

Isabelle & Simon are cute honestly ngl. Still think he’s in love with Jace, though. Under different circumstance id say he has two hands but the hands in question are siblings so he actually doesnt have two hands.

“I won’t be any more ready to lose you then than u am right now. And thats not at all.” Insane that Clare invented immortal gay people.

“For a bachelor with no children, Luke had an awful lot of kids to look after.” Simon dont even act like this just dawned on you. That man is just A Dad.

Final thought: the dynamic between Sebastian & Jace is the exact same as Kevin & Riko from All For The Game. Like. Girl. Fuck.

Anyways.

Onto Lost Souls I guess !!

Lark Liveblogs Lit episode 4(?): The Mortal Instruments

Here’s what I know going into it;

Magnus & Alec are endgame, Alec walks away from his marriage???? Very dramatically to kiss Magnus. I, originally, thought these two were reversed but my mate corrected me.

It’s (roughly???) inspired by her old Draco Trilogy (which I did track down and download, will read eventually) and shares the name with a Ron/Ginny fic (which I read. Mortal Instrument was a very fitting title)

And that’s literally all I know before hand;

Unlike the Harry Potter post, I’ll add my thoughts whilst reading and not just completely after finishing. I will still do the entire series post-mortum on each book, though.

City of Bones; (3/11/23)

Alec is EASILY my favorite. I figured it’d be Simon or Magnus because my blorbo history favors Simons and Magnuses, but Alec has CAPTURED my heart and when he almost died to Abbadon I literally cried even though I KNEW he survived.

Clary, on the contrary, is only slightly less boring than Isabelle. I think Isabelle is badass because she’s got a whip but both of these women is like. Go girl! Give us NOTHING! Especially weird because Clary is primarily our perspective character??

Jace & Simon’s weird little dynamic is interesting. I’m not. Its whatever. I don’t hate it, I’m not intrigued. I DO think Alec/Jace is a far superior romance to Jace/Clary. But also maybe my opinion will change. The little kiss in the garden WAS very cute. Jace thinks he’s so cool and he’s literally not. He’s literally so cringe. His snarky sass is so fun as well, obsessed with whatevers going on there.

The cup being IN the Tarot cards was SO cool. I’m obsessed with THAT.

How old is Magnus. Can I be condoning Malec. Is it like, a Calypso situation. Emotionally he act around 19-20, we’re going with that. He feels like a shitty frat boy. How did this man name Magnus Chase he’s so cool and Magnus Chase is the most pathetic meow meow I’ve ever seen.

UMMM??? HODGE??? WHAT THE A C T U A L FUCK. HELLO. NO. NO. I REFUSE. THIS IS SO FUCKED UP WHAT. SO THAT WAS A FUCKING LIE???? Hodge.

Pov you’re my actually mildly hyperventilating at the end of chapter 22.

JACE IS VALENTINES SON??? THEY’RE SIBLINGS??? Really living up to stealing that name from Ron/Ginny fic huh 😭😭 oh god. Cassie… cassie clare… bbg….

So. The Johnathon reveal fr had me set the book down and walk away because I was in HYSTERICS. congrats, Simon! New chance with your girl because the other part of your love triangle was her BROTHER. so—

Newly finished City of Bones. There’s so much going on here. I’ve thoroughly exhausted my thoughts already. Uhm.

All I have left to say is I adore Luke. He’s perfect. And Magnus Bane RUSHING to Alec like that??? OKAY. HOMOSEXUAL MUCH??? Yes sir go get your man. I see you.

2.) City of Ashes (02/05/23-8/17/23)

Simon and Clary are a MESS i love them. Theyre IDIOTS.

Luke is still my beloved

The complex ass dynamic of Jace and Valentine,,, EAT. love it.

Im gonna be so fr i have updated this in six months and dont remember 90% of book teo anymore actually but Vampire Simon was a slay

Wait that didnt happen in this book.

OH. OH. THE SEELIE COURT? INSANE. INSANO FUCKING CRAZY THAT WAS WILD.

this book took me forever to read because second installments are always weak af (Son of Neptune is an exception) and i struggle so bad

Dont remember if it was this book or book three but him almost dying and Jace giving him blood was the GAYEST thing I’ve ever seen and they should make out. Like that was so horny and for what.

YES THAT WAS TEO IM CORRECT because two was the boar fight and three was the city where sebastian whatever the fuck killed max

Moving on.

3.) City of Glass (8/19/23-8/23/23)

THEYRE NOT. SIBLINGS. WIN FOR EVERYONE INVOLED.

Magnus & Alec appeared like twice but im obsessed with Magnus every time he appears im flirting with him hey bb howzit going.

Maya is my FAVORITE ever i love a wolf girl. Also love a fear demon.

The Max death was UNNECESSARY and UNCALLED FOR he was a BABY BOY. what did he ever do to deserve this. He died HOLDING JACE’S SOLDIER. devastating. Awful.

The mark of Kane for Simon was real as shit im obsessed with that.

The Angel reviving Jace was literally so funny silly goofy. He went “god. What the fuck. At least give this kid a chance at being normal” and thats so funny.

I want to study Jace like a bug. Hes so babygirl.

(I’ll reblog with updates as I read the last half of the series 🙏 it’s taking longer bc ~ school ~)

However!

My best mate & I watched the first season of the show & the City of Bones movie and;

Okay we only watched the first like. 45 minutes of City of Bones because we wanted to watch something genuinely bad and it was doing too well. Obsessed with the cast on that, though. We didnt even get to Magnus or Alec because every casting on the movie was good until Isabelle and it was so bad I made my mate turn it off because I Could Not.

I’m on episode ten of season one of Shadowhunters and its not good but it is fun so I’m thriving. Like this show is bad but also its a fun time so we’re thriving.

[jessmalia]

Just curious, what is it about Percy/Annabeth that you don’t like (other than the stans)?

I'll happily explain! Just a quick disclaimer that it was a while ago I last read the books.

The entire thing was kinda surprising, cause on paper, percabeth should've been the perfect ship for me. They've got this enemies/rivals to lovers, bickering married couple vibes, unique nicknames etc. I love these tropes, hell, I’ve written them myself, but in percabeth's case I just don't think they're done very well.

To fully explain, I first wanna bring up an example of these things being done right, and why. The first one that comes to mind is Dan and Blair from Gossip Girl. They are also an enemies to friends to lovers ship, with this bickering married couple energy, and they're one of my favourite ships of all time. Their bickering is pretty similar to percabeth's (in the sense that it's mostly Blair saying mean things to Dan), but the key difference is that her insults (at least during their friends and lovers stages) are never coming from a malicious place and Dan's feelings are never hurt by her comments. He recognizes that this is just how Blair expresses her affection for him, and it's even something he enjoys about her. Every time she cleverly insults him he laughs/smiles and looks at her like she's the best thing in the world.

[Id: Two gifs of Dan and Blair. First gif has Blair saying, “There is no up-and-comers section. And even if there were, I mean, let’s face it Humphrey – you still wouldn’t make the cut.” And Dan smiling/laughing like she’s the best thing since sliced bread. Second gif has Blair saying “I care about you too, even if I have odd ways of showing it. Like bossing you around or making fun of your hair. Seriously, you should cut it.” And Dan, once again, smiling/laughing with the most lovey-dovey look on his face. / end id]

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But in Annabeth’s case, insulting Percy isn’t how she shows her affection. She lashes out at him due to her repressed trauma, and Percy does not like that she does this. Annabeth resents people assuming that she’s dumb because she’s blonde, but she continually calls Percy stupid. She’s generally terrible at communicating how she feels and what she needs and then gets mad at him when he doesn’t respond exactly how she wants. I think the worst example of this is in the beginning of The Titan’s Curse when she punches him in the stomach for not asking her to dance with him. 

[Id: Excerpt from The Titan’s Curse:  “Dance, you guys!” Thalia ordered. “You look stupid just standing there.” I looked nervously at Annabeth, then at the groups of girls who were roaming the gym. “Well?” Annabeth said. “Um, who should I ask?” She punched me in the gut. “Me, Seaweed Brain.” “Oh. Oh, right.” / end id]

Unlike the judo-flip, I’ve never even seen this moment discussed before, and it’s so annoying, cause I just know that if the genders were switched people would be horrified by it. 

The same issue comes up with the nicknames. Wise Girl is clearly complimentary while Seaweed Brain is derogatory. Now, what I expected when I read PJO was that Seaweed Brain would eventually turn affectionate, sort of like an inside joke, which again, is a trope I LOVE. And that kinda happens, but only after they start dating. I initially thought it had done so at the end of Lightning Thief when they became real friends, but then this happened in TTC:

[Id: Excerpt from The Titan’s Curse:  But Thalia held out her spear. “You want some, Seaweed Brain?” Somehow, it was okay when Annabeth called me that—at least, I’d gotten used to it—but hearing it from Thalia was not cool. / end id]

This really shocked me when I read it. Cause this clearly shows that Percy still doesn’t like when Annabeth calls him that, he just doesn’t respond with anger anymore because he’s “gotten used to it”, which is... not good. 

Annabeth also never steps in with reassurance that she actually knows that Percy is smart. For all we know she actually believes that he's an idiot (which he definitely isn't!). That's definitely how she makes Percy feel.

There’s also the case of Annabeth’s extreme jealousy. Like, the way she treats Rachel... I’m pretty sure most percabeth shippers even agree that she’s being completely unfair. (Edit: No, they don't, it seems. God I hate this fandom). @fake-plastic-trees made a meme that explains how hypocritical her behaviour concerning Rachel is way better than I ever could, so here’s that: 

[Id: Picture of a meme. First a picture of an anthropomorphic flower screaming in anger, paired with the caption, “How Annabeth reacts when Percy is with Rachel”. Second picture is of the same flower with a sweet/happy look on it’s face, paired with the caption “How Annabeth expects Percy to react when she simps over Luke”. / end id]

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This is the situation where I have the most sympathy with Annabeth, though. At least in the Calypso situation. Like having your best friend that you have feelings for go missing for so long that there’s pretty much no way he’s not dead, only for him to show up on his funeral and you find out that he was sent to an island where another girl took care of and fell in love with him and he most likely had feelings for her too, yeah that must suck. Especially with her abandonment issues. Still, doesn’t make her actions okay. 

And the way I see some percabeth stans talking about this is honestly disgusting. Slut shaming Percy like crazy, calling him a hoe (he was literally 14 while this happened) and being mad at him for "stepping out of line". Annabeth clearly believes she has some sort of claim on Percy and her stans have been convinced of that, too.

All of this is what, partially, makes perachel so appealing. They’re a breath of fresh air, because Rachel is the exact opposite. She’s straight forward with Percy. When he doesn’t make a move on her, instead of punching him or calling him a coward, she just makes a move. Which is, you know, the reasonable and healthy thing to do. Percy himself even expresses that he appreciates this about her. 

[Id: Excerpt from The Last Olympian:  She nodded. “And so ... hypothetically, if these two people liked each other, what would it take to get the stupid guy to kiss the girl, huh?” “Oh ...” I felt like one of Apollo’s sacred cows—slow, dumb, and bright red. “Um ...” I can’t pretend I hadn’t thought about Rachel. She was so much easier to be around than ... well, than some other girls I knew. I didn’t have to work hard, or watch what I said, or rack my brain trying to figure out what she was thinking. Rachel didn’t hide much. She let you know how she felt. / end id]

It's pretty clear that "some other girls I knew" is just Annabeth.

Finally, I just wanna say that I would be fine with all of this if Annabeth actually had a character arc where she realizes how she was acting was not okay, apologizes, and makes an effort to change and work through her trauma so she wouldn’t lash out on people anymore. Characters are allowed to have flaws, it’s encouraged actually! But those flaws, at least the ones that have a large negative affect on others, need to actually be acknowledged. And if you want the character to be framed like a hero, they need to take steps to change. But that is not what happens with Annabeth, so I’m not okay with it. 

really hope you had the energy to read through all of that