#she makes me feel like im watching a train wreck in slow motion

[whenawomanisaround]

where is the carmela carrion by fiona apple amv

[midday0nightmares]

27 - pry on the weak (m).

Previous chapter in your arms (m).

m.list.

warnings: this series contains themes of yandere\mafia, blood, violence, mental health, drugs, non-con.

author note: this is pure fiction and it is not intended to romanticize any of the situations mentioned bellow.

The door was shut, it won’t open, it was cemented on every side expat for the small slit under it, you try knocking, shout for someone, anyone, but to no avail.

you try the window, it opens, but the sight is even scarier. The city is quiet, too quiet. No traffic in its usually busy streets, every window in the near buildings were closed, no birds in the sky, not a single sign of life, even the sun seems stuck in its place, time isn’t moving.

Outside the closed door, you can hear muffled sounds, you peak under the door and see the familiar white socks on a pair of feet moving around the room, it’s jaemin. you shout and scream for him, but he doesn’t even flinch, he just keeps going through his day. 

You were forgotten, lost forever in his room.

You jolt out of the claustrophobic nightmare, everything around you looks sound and in its right place, including jaemin, who’s sleeping next you, it was a nightmare.. you didn’t think that a nightmare would have the audacity to visit you while you were sleeping in his arms.

You snuggle closer to him, too close, not minding if he wakes up right now, it would be ideal if he can listen to you telling him about the rude nightmare and sho It away..  

.

.

.

He buckles under your pleads, 

“fine.. you can come too”  

The high pitched squeal you let out almost made him change his mind.

You wore a simple, body fitting black dress, a safe choice, you walked to the living room where jaemin was waiting for you, he was wearing a black suit, the black trousers making his long legs look extra inviting.

Jeno whistle from behind you when you spun to show jaemin your outfit, you roll your eyes at his ungentlemanly behavior, 

But the way jaemin’s eyes were shinning, and the compliment “you look beautiful” made your heart flutter, but the butterflies were shot dead when jeno’s hand landed on your ass in a sharp slap.

You link arms with jaemin and make the short trip to the door across the hallway to chenle apartment, the door was open, you were welcomed by upbeat classical music, not what you’ve expected.

Inside, the apartment looked like an entire house by itself, it was three times bigger than your apartment, the atmosphere was intimidating, everyone looked expensive and beautiful, there was three type of guests, men, gorgeous women, and you. 

Bite sized appetizers and trays of champion were being served along side an open bar at the corner, chandeliers were hanging off the ceiling and the big glass door opens to the terrace.

Your heart sunk and your stomach turned over inside of you. You cling to jaemin’s arm when you spot that face, haechan’s face.he approaches you and they all greeted each other, you keep looking else where, doing your best to ignore him. 

“Hey man! Long time no see.. what are you doing here? You know chenle?” Yes good question jaemin, what is he doing here?

“Yeah yeah..” He leans closer and lowers his voice “he’s one of my top clients” he gestures to the tens of girls around.. and it clicks in your head that they were all escorts, brought by haechan, they were his girls. you didn’t even try to hide the look of disgust that was showing on your face.

“Hey handsome” a tall, brunette, doll like girl throws her arms around jeno, “haven’t seen you in a while” she seamlessly pout. He giggles and turns into a harmless puppy in her hands, she must be one of haechan girls too, of course he will pay for company, who would want to spend time with him.

Your attention turns back to the hushed conversation between haechan and jaemin,

 “… no, his father is the of a one the leaders of the Chinese communist party, powerful man. and he’s the sole hire of multiple companies” haechan says.

“What is he doing here?” Jaemin asks. 

 “don’t know.. but based on what I have heard, he’s not staying for long..” haechan cuts himself as soon as he notice your interest in their conversation, “And how have you been doing sweet thing?”

oh the rage that went through you, you wished you could claw his eyes out, your distain is loud on your features. jaemin’s hand reach and hold yours, giving you a gentle squeeze, silently apologizing for breaking his promise of not having to see haechan again. 

And of course Hacehan is anything but dumb, he reads your mood and turns back to jaemin “come, I want you to meet someone” .. “haa you never stop working, don’t you?” Jaemin let go of your hand and slips deeper into the crowd, leaving you standing awkwardly next to jeno and his baby.

You stomp with no destination in mind. you look around, amazed by everything, but you feel misplaced, the looks that were thrown your way, you didn’t belong here and everyone knew it, there was an underlining screech the luxuries mood.

You catch the back of jaemin’s head through the crowd, an unsuspected punch of something was delivered to your heart, throwing your mood completely off. he’s with a group of giggly girls, practically drooling over them.  

you regret insisting on coming with him.. you should have known, but it’s too late now, you look else where and meet the sister eyes of haechan staring at you. he winks at you, you throw him the dirtiest look you have and move out of his sight line.

You pick a glass of champagne and lean against the wall, tipping the tall glass and drinking it in one go, and another.. starting to feel better. Chenle’s bright hair stands between the crowds, he gracefully moves around greeting everyone, you didn’t notice before but he’s quit charming.. he catches you staring at him and smile at you, rising his glass towards you, you fumble almost dropping your half empty glass.. when you mange to get a grip on yourself and rise your glass he had already return to his conversation. 

“Hello, mind if I join you?” The stranger man stands next to you even before you could’ve answered him, “what’s your name?” He looks like he was operating on twice the normal human energy, fidgeting and unable to stay still for more than three seconds, his smile twitches, the look in his eyes is frantic.. his pupils are blown, he’s on something. 

He speaks again before you can answer “hi Im yangyang, what’s your name?” why does his friends have wired names? 

You watch him like he was a train wreck happing in slow motion, “here try this” he hands you one of the two glass he was holding in his hands, a pink cocktail with raspberry, you smile politely and take the drink, he stares at you with his frozen smile.. but something behind you catches his attention, he kinda looks like a cat, just like that he leaves as fast as he came, he’s kinds cute.

You move to the open terrace for some fresh air, the breeze flowing through your hair, you zone out as you watch the city lights.. a hand graze the small of your back brings you back, you jump in surprise. “sorry didn’t mean to scare you” chenle apologize, placing a tall glass of champion in front of you, his round cheeks flushed, he looks breathtaking in this proximity, or maybe it’s just the alcohol in your system.. 

“To be honest sera, Im a little offended” he confess, your eyes grow double the size “offended.. why?��, 

he gives you sad puppy eyes and looks around “you don’t seems to enjoy my party”.. 

“oh no, I do. Your house is very beautiful and everything looks amazing” you try to convince him but he’s not buying it, you just give up and sigh, “im just tired” looking down to the busy streets..

He hums “tired or jealous?” Pointing at jeno who was too busy sucking that girl’s face, you roll your eyes and chenle laughs.

 “im not” you bring the glass to your lips, drinking more, a pathetic attempt to suppress whatever have been twisting your insides. 

Someone calls for him cutting your interaction short, “Alright.. well if you need anything come find me” he says before leaving you. You stay at your spot, distracting yourself with silly thoughts while the party behind you was growing wilder.

Your stomach growls, you feel sick and about to throw up.. heat rising through you, you sweat and feel lightheaded, you must have had too much to drink you are not used to it.

You stumble inside and through the crowded room, looking for the closest bathroom before it’s too late, haechan grabs your arm “sera.. are you ok?” His voice is far away although he’s standing next to you, you yanking your arm out of his hold “don’t touch me..”,

The room starts spinning, you hold the wall for support, after that it all went dark.

.

.

.

When you came back and opened your eyes, you were laid in a bed, the strong cologne filling your noise, upsetting your empty stomach. For a minute you don’t remember where you are or what had happened, the unfamiliar bedroom doesn’t ring any bills, your head is pounding, threatening to explode you move too much, you try to get up but a sharp pain shots through you, your hips feels like they were dislocated, your thighs bruised and had blood on them, your pulled up dress and torn underwear, it all indicates to one thing. 

You mange to hold yourself through the initial shock, not breaking down. With a plan to find jaemin you fix your dress to cover your exposed breast, you force yourself up, picking up your discarded heal off of the floor. You limb your way out of the room, the party has quite down, it has turned to something else.. 

everyone looked like a living zombie, you look for jaemin, you open every door on your way, you open a door to a bedroom, and you see group of men gathered over a passed out girl, watching them felt like an outside body experience, like you were rewatching yourself. They were unfazed by your presences as they continue their assult.. 

you close the door to the hellish scene, you keep looking for him but he’s nowhere to be found.

You reach the main area, being met by jeno and haechan snorting whit powder of the coffee table, surrounded by loopy girls.. jeno tries to grab you, to pull you down with them but you escape his claw like hand.

You can’t take this anymore, you were starting to crumble. you did’t feel safe anymore. you head to the door and walk out, you seek the comfort of a familiar surroundings, their apartment, a hot shower, clean clothes, your bed.. but you don’t have a key and you don’t know the passcode, you try random combinations but nothing works, the door stays closed, duff to your cries.

You break down, tears streaming your face, you give up on the door and slid to the ground, leaning against the wall you sit alone in the hallway waiting for jaemin’s return.

[kingsansa]

“He always had a habit of making her feel either miles better or leagues worse.”

And when she knows the tone of his voice when he’s about to pull away from her because SHE made a mistake.

Put! Sansa! In! Therapy!

Like I know she loves him but part of their problem is she gives him too much power over her. She’s so afraid of losing him she messes up. I hope she actually tells Jon that she loves him.

I actually felt bad for Jon in this chapter. He’s being made the villain for things he has no control over (flight schedule and Harry’s vindictive ass). Lyanna too actually (at least she got a win this chapter getting the permission for the pictures).

Catelyn is my girl and I’m always in her corner but she really tried me this chapter. She’s going through a lot, she’s watching a train wreck in slow motion, but also… shhhhh. I’m beginning Ned kept walking away because he needs a break too. How happy is Uncle Benjen right now to not be married? Probably went home, cracked a beer, and listened to silence the entire night.

(I’m saddest about their move to Chicago is Robbie’s getting separated from Robb and Rickon the best uncles ever)

They both need so much therapy ! And Catelyn is crashing cymbals by Sansa’s ears and shes like “shhhh im sleeping ☺️”

[bobbymckenzie]

Im 100% sure Bobby is the type to dance all the time to music and bust out his best moves, even though he can’t dance for shit. I really do feel like he’s absolutely horrible, but in a cute way. He has no sense of coordination whatsoever. I am a dancer, and I just KNOW he wouldn’t be able to pull it off. And he probably thinks he’s really good because everyone hypes him up while he’s doing it. But yeah....he’s a dancer, just not a good one

okay but like as much as i want to reject canon and say that he’s a good dancer......... the idea of dancing with bobby for the first time is just making me smile so even though you didn’t ask, im gonna add a lil snippet here! it’s kind of a reimagining of the ministry of music party if you throw in a little slow burn and warp canon a bit! sorry this took so long i just wanted to write a mini fic !

[using my mc sabrina because i’m attached to her] [roughly 1k words]

----

“Come dance with me!” She grinned, beckoning him to join her. The bass was boosting, the upbeat melody blaring through the speakers, her voice barely reaching his ears.

He’d been relaxed, comfortably sipping the frozen margs he’d made at the kitchen island, watching the rest of the islanders twist, sway, and jump to the music. A few of them stopped to drink with Bobby, enough so that it wasn’t suspicious that he hadn’t stepped foot on the makeshift dance floor amidst the lawn.

Truth be told, he was running the drink station so he could avoid dancing. Why would he subject himself to embarrassment on national television? The thought of Jonno at home, recording Bobby’s awkward moves, whilst zooming in and giving commentary made him want to crawl in a hole.

Why was he cursed to be a social butterfly with the moves of newborn deer? 

It wasn’t easy to bring a flush to his cheeks, but dancing was the quickest way to choke him up. Or you could be Sabrina. And he just so happened to be looking both of those exceptions to the rule in the eye.

She strolled closer, noticing his slouched posture switch to rigidity in the blink of an eye. “What’s up, Bobby?”

He tried cracking a smile at her, his bottom lip quivering just slightly, and he hoped she didn’t notice. The camera men were following her, likely restraining themselves to zoom in on the sway of her hips, which he tried not to watch. She was naturally sultry, intoxicating, and it was getting harder and harder for him to shove his feelings down.

He trained his gaze on her creased brow, shaking his head. “Nothing, just finishing up my drink so I can clean up my duty station,” he gave her a salute.

“Aw, that can wait. Come on, I’ve been waiting all night to dance with you!” She grabbed his arm, tugging him to his feet softly.

She had? He thought, beaming internally. He’d been waiting all night to talk to her, but he was too afraid to get anywhere near the huddle of islanders, for fear of being pressured into dancing with them.

“Alright, alright, I’m going,” he laughed, setting his glass down, using it as an excuse to wipe his sweaty palms on his pants. “Condensation, heh. It’s like, why is my glass sweating? Why’re you so nervous?”

She snorted, her face contorting. Her laugh reverberated throughout her whole body like an earthquake, her whole body reacting alongside her gorgeous cackle. “That was so corny.”

“You loved it.”

She hooked her arm in his, pulling him towards the lawn. “I did. But I’m gonna love doing the robot with you even more.”

The music faded out, the bass boosted track transitioning smoothly into a sultry R&B song, and some of the group paired off into their respected couples, swaying softly, while the others took a break, heading back to the margarita station.

He wished he could bolt back behind the granite counter back into his element.

She faced him, walking backwards, a mischievous look in her eye. “You ever shake your ass to a slow jam before?”

He chuckled, reminded of why he liked her so much in the first place; it was rare to find a girl that could keep up with his banter, and Sabrina usually ran circles around him.

She fake shoved him away, and started doing an erratic robot, wildly out of place next to Hope and Noah’s intimate slow dance.

“God, Sabrina it’s like watching a car wreck in slow motion! Why?” He cackled, following her forearm rocking back and forth like a pendulum.

“Because the producers can’t play this music on the show anyways. Imagine how funny it’d be to us dancing like weirdos next to Hope and Noah with stock music in the background? C’mon, it’s the ultimate prank,” she said, switching to a roll of her arm that went through her body to the other arm.

It’s just a prank. Dancing badly adds to it, he reassured himself, taking a shaky breath.

He could swallow his pride and bury his nerves just long enough to enjoy a prank with her.

He started slow, just bumping his shoulders, an awkward smile on his lips.

“Hey, Captain B. Smooth has some moves!” She spun, her dress flaring around her.

He loosened up a bit at the sound of her laugh and her increasingly crazy movements, unlocking his knees so he could bounce along to the beat with her. 

She grabbed his hands, which were still clammy as hell, and tried to do some kind of swing dance with him, stepping left and right with a slight skip. He fumbled along, his muscles tense.

“Twirl me!” She yelled over the music, raising his arm above her head. She rotated, then clutched his arm around her, hugging him. Her lips nearly touched his cheek when she leaned into him, her forehead pressed against his temple, out of breath.

“You’re a great dancer, Bobby,” she huffed against his cheek, nearly a whisper. Maybe she’d noticed their proximity like he had.

“Nah, you’re just flattering me.”

“No, you’re exactly the kind of dancer I thought you’d be, and I love it,” she smiled softly, pulling away from him, searching his eyes.

“You... wanna actually slow dance this time? I don’t think the cameras are too interested in the margarita party over there,” he asked nervously.

She smirked, patting his cheek with her palm. “Let’s give them a show, babes.”

As he wrapped his arm around her waist, gripping her closer, her hips guiding his from side to side to the slow music, he was able to breathe properly for the first time in hours. He felt the cameras zooming in, either on their expressions, their arm placements, or his awkward movements, but he didn’t care.

Despite the massive amounts of pressure he’d just faced, a pearl of hope formed. If she could be the solace he sought amidst his anxieties, maybe it was worth it to face everything that scared him – if she was by his side.

[knifesxedge]

you really are about to unlock smth bc a) i have SO many thoughts on the sequel trilogy and b) im DESPERATE for a distraction so um. i think about the prequel trilogy and i really truly start to lose it. bc force awakens was SO GOOD. like remember the first time you watched it and you (me, but maybe you as well) were like? HOLY SHIT. it was obviously a new hope v2 but it was FRESH and NEW and there were cool characters that i CARED about. (1/3)

HELL YEAH let’s get into it ok ok ok OPINIONS INCOMING.

TOTALLY with u on this. like the prequels make me mad about the wasted potential but tbh the sequel trilogy is just like. draining emotionally because they LOOK so fucking good. the force awakens WAS so so good, like very very star wars even if it was following the plot beats of anh. and then it just. tanked itself holy shit. like at least the prequels look bad, sound bad, it’s like a comical level of tragic. the sequel trilogy feels like having chalk dust spread all over my skin and then being put in an echo chamber of nails on a chalkboard 😔 at this point even tfa comes with a TINY lil bit of like 😞 just because i know what comes after but YES tfa is one of those star wars movies that just FEELS so fucking star wars it makes me unhinged. “THATS ONE HELL OF A PILOT” YEAH BITCH!!! IT IS!!!!! GAY PEOPLE!!!

the last jedi. a mess. i like certain rian johnson films but he should not be allowed to be anywhere near Star Wars. my main problem? (beyond the racism and romanticizing stalking and emotional and physical abuse?) it doesn’t FEEL like star wars. like. ok even in the darkest moments in mainstream star wars films they are SUPPOSED to feel hopeful. tlj feels like watching a train wreck in slow motion it’s just like shitty thing after shitty thing after shitty thing happening to the main cast. i think the casino planet’s design was a little lazy and WAY too underlit and rose’s character was pointless in the way she was shown in the movie. exhausting. the jokes were all on the wrong edge of disrespectful to the characters and the original star wars like luke tossing the lightsaber over his shoulder? appalling. not funny just there for shock value. everyone is out of character. everyone is stressed and miserable all the time. aside from things i didn’t really want to see but wouldn’t have argued with in a better movie (ie luke dying) it really was just a racist misogynistic mess. oh yeah did i mention how they did rey’s character dirty because she went from being a scrappy desert mechanic who’s a little dorky and just trying to find a family and a place in the galaxy to Bland White Girl Servicing a Man’s Character. that pales in comparison to how finn poe and rose’s characters were treated but HOLY shit. i walked out of the theater crying. tfa raised my expectations only to have tlj smash them down to the floor it was. hhhhh ok ok ok im trying to think if i liked anything from the movie. um. you were right it looked good! sound and score were great as usual. i did think poe’s conversation with hux at the beginning was funny. i really liked when leia used the force to come back to the ship (ik that was a controversial scene for some people but i did really like that scene. she deserves it). laura dern is cool i hated her character but in theory laura dern being leia’s lesbian boarding school friend is neat. but yeah im sorry i really REALLY didn’t like that movie we only saw it in theaters once it was so bad. :( i do agree with u abt the force mysticism being cool tho!

rise of skywalker. now maybe it’s because the bar was on the floor after tlj. but i actually liked it quite a bit. still kind of a mess. jj trying to retcon all of the stuff from the last movie because for some reason he wasn’t just allowed to do the whole trilogy. the pacing being a nightmare for the first half. the atrocious abuser-validating kiss at the end. but im gonna be real after having to sit through tlj i was happy enough just to see the main trio back together and finn and poe being treated with more respect to care much about that stuff. disney queerbaits me once again but that’s on me for clowning. i really genuinely liked the scene where rey passes the lightsaber to kylo i thought that was cool but it was overshadowed by the knowledge that the Kiss 🤮 was coming so i didn’t get to enjoy it like i wanted. ALSO hayden christiansen and all the other actors doing the voices in the scene where rey is fighting the emperor (who im pretty sure was only in there because RIAN put the trilogy’s intended big bad into a sparkly gold bathrobe and killed him off in the second movie but im not complaining about seeing ian mcdiarmid) were apparently on set in costume and force ghosts were supposed to protect her in like a big circle and what im saying is i feel robbed and cheated and feral

the only movie of the three i REALLY liked was tfa. now we’re back to How Would I Fix It. step one fire rian johnson. step two put JJ on the whole trilogy and HOLD HIM ACCOUNTABLE for having a plot planned out, or else get a different director TO DO ALL THREE MOVIES. none of this middle of the road “trying to appease both sides of the fandom” bullshit. kylo dies at the end and they DO NOT kiss and that is all the redemption he gets. if disney is claiming gay rep then they SHOW us ACTUAL gay representation. poe and finn kiss on screen and we don’t get a two second blurry background kiss between random characters. completely toss out whatever the fuck that plot was supposed to be in tlj and separate ros into two movies so JJ could actually DO the entire plot he had planned (instead of disney execs chopping down what was p much a four hour movie into two hours twenty two minutes which was SHORTER than the two hour forty minute cut jj reluctantly okayed but i DIGRESS).

god. what the fuck. anyways sorry for completely going off the rails but ty for sharing ur sequel trilogy opinions and ty for letting me rant sorry this got so long but ily!!! ❣️💕💝

[scav-eng-er]

“If Nothing Else, We Have This.” TROS Alternate Ending Part 2/?

okay..so I’m very tired and literally re-wrote the beginning so many times and I’m very tired lol (it’s almost 1 am) But here is the second part of my Alternate TROS Ending! I have an outline for part 3 already and MY REYLO HEART IS SCREAMING. Please be aware that I tried to give Leia the best of the best, so if there is something you guys think I could edit, please let me know. I really hope you guys like this and I am sending hugs and kisses to @reylo-trash-4ever and @mojona1999 because you two are my sweet reylomates and beans and ily <3.

Update: Im so sorry i forgot the first part if anyone needs the link lol sorry im a wreck. 

Part 1:  https://scav-eng-er.tumblr.com/post/190171393259/if-nothing-else-we-have-this-tros-alternate

“Any news from Poe and his team?” 

“Nothing yet General.” 

A wave of worry flushed over General Organa as she watched the makeshift screen blink rapidly. Tiny dots, indicating Poe’s X-wing and the rest of his ships, hovered around the grid, pinpointing their locations out in the battle. Occasionally, a red dot would disappear and across the base, another screen with the profile of the pilot would burn red with large letters titled: Connection failed. The chaos ensued back at the main base and was just as hectic as the actual battlefield. Commands were announced or yelled through holo-coms and com-links while groups from the skies and land asked what the next plan of attack was. More pilots ran around the princess, prepping their fuel tanks and testing their blasters, oblivious to see the exhaustion in her eyes. Technicians gave last minute check-ups on weapons and hurried back  and forth along the forest floor. Lieutenant Connix continued to give orders, her brows furrowed, her eyes flickering back and forth between the many screens. Leia sensed it, both sides were tired. The resistance were on their knees, using their last push of hope to try and defeat Palpatine. But she also sensed doubt in the First Order. In Ben. 

He was confused, hurt and torn. Pulled in different directions. This unknowing in him had already impacted the First Order and their so-called impenetrable power. When she felt him begin to question everything, just a few hours ago, she had finally felt more hope spark in her heart. She felt the heat of his saber as it impaled her son, Rey didn’t miss. Her heart soared when the refreshing feeling of Rey’s life force healed Ben’s wound. Yes, there was still hope. But was it enough?

Would this be enough to finally end it all? 

A sudden pain erupted from Leia’s chest. Sucking in a gasp, she quietly sat on a boulder, hiding her pain from scurrying pilots as they prepped for another take-off, soon to assist wounded comrades at Exegol. Her body was cold, and she felt weak, defeated…dead. Something had happened to Ben, her Ben. Her hand shook as she covered her mouth to prevent the whimpers of her sobs escape. Blinking back tears, and with the last reasonable idea she could think of, she reached out. Out to the one person she knew could help.

“Luke.” She whispered. 

He appeared to her, glowing brighter in the sun. His transparency, in no way hid his happiness to see his sister, aged with time from living her life. Even after all these years, Luke could see how youthful Leia was, her smile was timeless and her strength spanned generations. It inspired those who were now part of the resistance. He had told himself a million times how he wished she had continued her studies. Perhaps the galaxy would’ve turned out different, less pain, less hate. She would’ve saved Ben before Palpatine had even tried to touch him, preventing the world from becoming what it was now.

Yet, here they were, on the precipice of an ending war. The battle happening galaxies away that would determine the outcome of their family, resting on the shoulders of his nephew, her son. 

“It’s time.” Leia stated, her voice calm and strong despite the streaks of tears down her rosy cheeks. She was prepared, ready for this day. Luke sensed it too. He knew just how far a mother would go to save her son. He said nothing, but kneeled down and like so many times before, placed a sweet kiss on his sister’s forehead. Leia closed her eyes, not seeing the few tears making their way down Luke’s cheeks. 

And just as quiet as he arrived, he was gone. 

For the first time, in a very long time, Leia felt at peace. She stood up, no pain in her heart, no worries on her mind. The princess gazed at the base around her. Everything moved in slow motion. The sounds of people and engines droned out. Leia took a step into the sun. It was warm against her skin, as she remembered her life. 

Han, her loving, brave, handsome, and annoyingly-arrogant husband. He had filled her life with laughs, tears and love as they stuck together. He was at peace, she knew that. He had never been upset with Ben, he just missed his son. Their son.

Ben. Her only child who was caught in something so much greater than him. He was used and played with, torn and pulled apart until there was nothing left. Leia knew deep down, her baby Ben was there, waiting. The same Ben who wanted to be a Jedi, who wanted to come with her to meetings and visit as many galaxies as he could. The biggest thing Leia missed was how much he needed her. Ben would never admit to how many times he crawled into her bed after a nightmare, or how he pretended to not miss her when she was away. As a teenager, she saw him pull away, trying to be tough, and hide how scared he was, or that he needed help. She could never forgive herself for ignoring how he practically begged for her in his eyes, as the cold, grimy hands of the Dark Side gripped him by the shoulders. But now, Leia felt like she could still save her son, from everything. She could prove to him how much she loved him. 

She loved how much Ben needed his mother as a child, and now he needed her more than ever. The general’s world went black as she collapsed to the forest floor.

~~~~

Rey played with the hem of Ben’s shirt, the fabric wet with sweat, dirt and blood. He smelled like earth, and Rey realized she had never been this close to know that he smelled so..intoxicating. Every breath she took was so soothing, she couldn’t help but lean in closer. Ben’s eyes never left her, and Rey’s cheeks reddened at how beautiful he made her feel. The comfort in his arms was new, yet felt so familiar that she never wanted to leave. His thumb circled her arm as he held her, and goosebumps scattered down her body.

“So..long..” Rey mumbled, annoyed by how long they had tried to cover it up, or deny just how powerful their feelings for each other really were. This..connection was created before either of them were even born. This attachment and need to be near each other, to be together finally had an explanation behind it. Rey believed this would be the one and only thing she could actually thank their grandparents for. The two mens intertwined fates had curled and twisted. Hate, deceit, years of pain and darkness came to an end with her and Ben, here and now. So yes, she could thank them, for giving her Ben. 

Ben hummed in agreement, “Who knew we could be so..” he trailed off.

“Dumb?” Rey stated.

“I was going to say stubborn!” Ben couldn’t help but laugh, before engulfing her lips once again. Every time Ben kissed her, Rey felt like a bad memory was wiped away. Bit by bit, she was losing more details about her life of Jakku. She already couldn’t remember some scars she got as a child, or the names of rival scavengers who occasionally tried to gang up on her. It felt like he was taking away her pain and grief, replacing it with passionate kisses and featherlight touches she hoped she would never forget. 

They held each other for a few more moments in sweet, silent bliss before Rey interrupted with the lingering statement.

“We have to go back.” 

Ben sighed, “Or we could go…just…leave.” 

There was nothing more Ben wanted to then to just be with Rey. They could anything or nothing and he would be happy. If she wanted to boss him around on the falcon? He would do it without hesitation. If she wanted to settle in the greenest galaxy and continue her training? He would make her stronger than him. 

But the resistance? He would not just be away from Rey, but behind bars, in chains, with every other soul on the planet, maybe the galaxy, wanting him dead. 

“Ben,” She sounded serious, though her voice was quiet. “We’ll figure something out.” She continued to play with his hair. The black, damp curls twisted in her finger and she wondered what he would look like with braids. 

“Leia will help us, reduce your sentence. Banishment to another planet is better than life imprisonment right?” 

Hearing his mother’s name made his heart sink. Could she even look him in the eye? Would she cry? Scream at him? Forgive him? Ben had hurt her so much, he would understand however she reacted. He undoubtedly deserved it. Even so, he wanted to see her, to hear her voice. He pulled Rey’s hand to his lips, giving a heartfelt kiss before nodding.

Her heart beat rapidly in hope. Ben was going home. He was going to see his mother, going to see Chewie…but he would also see the resistance, including Finn, Poe and Rose. Rey didn’t care. She would do anything to prove just how alive Ben Solo was, with the pieces of Kylo Ren dying long ago. 

“Just..no matter what happens, you’ll come back to me right?” He mumbled into her fingers, almost afraid to let go. 

Rey smiled so hard, she could almost laugh. She stood up and pulled him with her, her hands never letting go. Even as he towered over her, he looked worried, his eyes trailing up and down her body, making sure she was still alright, still alive. Rey pulled his attention to her warm eyes.

“Nothing could keep me away. Not even death.” She declared. Standing on her toes, Rey wrapped her arms around Ben as she pulled him to her lips. He felt comfort in her embrace, like she would truly never leave him. Even when he would eventually be pulled from her grasp and thrown in a cell, he knew she would fight for him as hard as she could. They would be separated, of course, by distance, guards, and maybe even Leia. But he could wait, he had been waiting for her his whole life anyway. So many had passed through his life in fleeting increments, he could hardly remember any faces, knowing they would all be there one moment, and gone the next. Rey was solid, sturdy, and there for him, with him. At the end of all this, Ben finally felt like he could belong somewhere, in her arms. 

The two pulled apart when the noise of battle erupted the from the skies and shook the ground beneath their feet. They ran back to the surface, forgetting the pain they had just endured, ready to take on the next adventure together. 

Rey burst through the stars in the X-wing, Ben seated behind her. They danced among the falling debris as it crashed back onto Exegol. He watched as Palpatines undead fleet fell, returning to their graves. Feeling his darkness fall with them, a small smile grew as he said goodbye to the shadows that had trapped him in. Feeling light as a feather, Ben settled into his seat. His eyelids were heavy, and he suddenly felt so tired that he just couldn’t stay awake. As he felt himself drift to sleep, he could vaguely hear the voices and shouts from Rey’s helmet comlink, screams of victory as everyone announced the First Order had officially fallen. 

[chaniters]

Coming out

The ending of this edulcorated Chargestep nightmare fluff I’m writing, The plan is revealed and the farm confronted with it’s greatest enemy so far. 

Also, Ricardo Ortega and Sidestep go for their dinner date, following up from the last fic (Supersize me).

The waiter leaves after taking your orders The place is actually fancy. It's one of Los Diablos finest restaurants.

You can't help feeling foreign here. You were always faded in the background whenever you had to be in places like this.

And you can hear their thoughts. People wondering who's the guy in Charge's table. There’s curiosity and even a hint of jealousy.

You shift uncomfortably in your seat... And he takes your hand with his. You tremble as you hear the collective mental gasp of everyone looking at you two.

"Would you stop thinking about them and look at me?" He asks. You force yourself to look up. There's his stupid smile... the big eyes... And then he makes it even worse. He presses your fingers in his hand and speaks.

"You know, you're looking so fucking hot right now... I should have done this a long time ago. Just show you how I see you."

"You... really like this?" You say motioning to your own self. You had no trouble believing he liked you in costume, after all, you were always proud of your skills. But here, in plain clothing is another story.

"Yes, dumbass, I like you. How many times do I have to tell you?. We kissed like ... so many times. What else do I have to do to convince you?"

He takes a sip of wine before going on.

"You know, sometimes it's EXHAUSTING to endure how dense you can be."

"Alright, alright... no need to rub it in my face, I get it" you say looking away.

"No, I don't think you do! I've been throwing curve-balls at you for about a decade and not ONCE did you pick them up except for the AWKWARD moments."

"Well..."

"I started to think I just wasn't your type"

"No! THat's not it... I mean..."

"AM I, OR AM I NOT YOUR TYPE CYRUS?" he asks raising his tone. "BECAUSE IM STILL WONDERING RIGHT NOW."

"OF COURSE YOU ARE MY TYPE!" You burst out. And then you lower your volume since everyone can hear you "From when we started training together... I had to make an effort not to look at you all the time and..."

"Uhu... I see. Go on" he cues you to continue

And then you can't stop. You tell him stuff you hadn't even remembered until now. About how you hated it when he was with someone else. About how confused you were after he kissed you at the party. About the fight with Psycopathor and the dreams, you had after he saved you. About calendars that you had hidden in your apartment when Anathema bought them for you as a joke. You go into even some very embarrassing stuff, like when he carried you out so many times. You confess about using Steel's hostility as a tool to keep him away and protect your secret.

"Oh. I see... Tell me more" he says with an absent look.

And then you go on about how you love his smile... his eyes.. his arms and...

And then you choke when you realize the intensity of his gaze. Like he's going to devour you alive.

He's been enjoying this from the start. Watching you agonize and talk on and on about how you thirst for him.

The two of you don't finish your meals, pay early and head home. Home. You would have said "His place" not too long ago.  You stumble with the keys and they fall down from your hands. He takes them from the floor and opens the lock.

The moment you enter he pushes you onto the wall and kisses you like a wild animal. And you have basically lost all self-control by this moment.

He starts taking (ripping) off your clothing.

"How many ... layers??" he asks frustrated... until he gets to the last nanomesh. And then he notices the panicked expression.

"I've thought this through," he says, pulling you towards the bedroom. He just pushes you on the bed, and you collapse there, moving on your back towards the center. 

He leaves the room briefly... returning with something in his hand, hoping in, landing by your left side.

He opens his hand. A blindfold.

Ricardo puts it on over his forehead.

"Will this do?" he asks You nod, surprised. He lowers the blindfold over his eyes.

"Now take that thing off"

And you both do...

He climbs on on top of you. Kissing you... feeling you.

It's not triggering your alarms. You know him. And don't feel threatened.

"Hey... stop... stop," you say.

He freezes immediately. "W.. what did I do?" he asks

"Nothing... just... " you extend a hand and remove his blindfold.

"But then you'll..."

"I think I can handle it?... Just... go slow please"

He gives you the widest smile.

--------Several days later-----------

Brushing your mind against his, you find an entrance and take hold, firmly. The senator is asleep, you can't work like this. You take his body and make him take a few steps. You need to wake him to access his thoughts... not to control a zombie.

You find them. And you do what you've done dozens of times already. Set his fixation ready, burning white hot in intensity, for the time when the signal is given.

And then you free him, making him think he just sleep-walked a bit. Float like a ghost, back to your own body.

The return is brutal. You hadn't possessed that many people in succession since... ever. This is new territory.

And possessing people is not your only activity these days...

Ricardo finally confessed to you that he couldn't keep up a few nights ago. That he's not that young anymore. You saw the failure in his eyes. Mission accomplished you said, trying not to tease him too hard.

You've lost several pounds from this.

Your body is a wreck, but you are at the top of the world. Having Ortega for yourself and destroying your enemies have quickly become your two favorite activities and now you do them together, daily.

The routine goes on for about two months until all the pieces are in place.

And then Charge casually talks with the first domino piece and gives him his verbal trigger command.

The retired scientist goes to the media, whistleblowing on the farm's human rights violations. He dies on an accident shortly after.

He is followed by a senator, a decorated general, and two low-tier bureaucrats. One of them is imprisoned on drug charges. The two other die and the fourth has a mental breakdown.

Ten other witnesses go public to the media immediately after, revealing droves of information. As one of them dies, the FBI reveals it had begun an investigation on the killings.

Dozens more witnesses come trough, and the scandal reaches national levels. You've mind-controlled about a hundred and fifty in total, changing their minds into scandal timebombs. And you commanded them to seek others, and get more evidence as well.

Soon enough the killing stop, and the Special Directive, unmasked, becomes a pariah among government agencies.  Senate commissions and federal investigations fall upon them like birds of prey. It's director removed and in custody.

-------The stage is set.----------

"Good morning Los Diablos! We are joined on studio here by Charge, here for an interview about...

You sit awkwardly behind the cameras. Waiting for your cue... at any moment he will ... There.

"I have some important personnel announcements to make" Ortega interrupts her

"Oh? Personal you say?"

"Yes, Mia. I'm very proud and happy to introduce everyone to... My boyfriend, Cyrus Basri. Yes, I'm coming out!" he says motioning for you to come forward.

You've been seen together in enough public spots to have people question your relationship. A ton of photos of you together will surely surgeon the media within minutes.

You force your legs to get you in front of the camera because if this goes wrong, you might actually not live to tell the tale. This is the most critical part of the plan. All up to you.

She asks you questions. You answer them. You are his boyfriend. You love him. No, you are not yet engaged. When you tell them you've known him for more than 10 years, they wonder who you are.

They go back to Ricardo.

"So we're coming out," he says holding your hand, giving you the confidence you still lack. "But that's not all. We have one more revelation to make" he ends looking at you.

You take the longest breath of your existence. And speak to the country.

"My Name is Cyrus Basri. I used to defend the city as the Hero Sidestep. I stopped the Nanosurge. I fought against Heartbreak... And..." you pause. Not because you are terrified, but for drama. They made you an actor after all. "And seven years ago, I was kidnaped by the Prime Directive. I was abused, beaten, drugged and experimented upon. My humanity was denied, and I was subjected to the most heinous experiment ever devised. I am a victim and a survivor of the Special Directive" you say removing your shirt before the cameras for all to see.

Everyone goes silent as the final bomb explodes.

You cry on live tv. Ricardo holds you. The audience gasps. You make sure to make all of their reactions are positive and supportive. You're surprised it would have been that way even without your power.

Mia is shocked but instantly begins asking questions. More reporters show up. You answer each and every one. You break up several times, showing yourself even more vulnerable than you actually are.

You tell the Truth. You reveal the connection between the Directive And Heartbreak.

And then you also lie. You accuse the Directive of all sorts of despicable things that your witnesses have fabricated evidence about. Ortega backs you up. You couldn't ask for a finer wingman.

As the show finally ends, federal investigators come to talk to you. Then, finally, after you've gone with half of their questions, a high ranking official from the White House shows up to talk to you.

You demand Ortega be present and he sits by your side.

After a few words, he offers you a deal. You look at Ortega, and he finally nods.

You shake hands.

By the end of the day, you are truly Cyrus Basri, with a birth certificate, and social security number, a driver's license, and a bank account full of stolen money that now legally belongs to you.

Your past is erased. You're no longer a regene, but a civilian victim who was manipulated, enslaved and experimented upon by a rogue organization.

And most other regenes will get similar deals. They'll never admit they created life. Fine by you.

Your problems fixed within hours.

And now you are Ricardo's official gay boyfriend. That is new...

The rangers reactions were shocked as you said your goodbyes.

Chen was tearing himself apart. "YOU WERE GAY?" he repeats over and over talking to you and Ortega. Herald can't stop telling you how proud he is about you coming out like that. And Argent is maybe not your closest friend but she's beaming for Ortega and you being a thing.

You flee the country together a few days later to avoid the rest of the media storm.    

Private cruise through the Caribbean. You go on false names. It's part of your deal. To spend a whole year outside the media's reach.

And they know you can do that.

Because you beat the odds.

You are the cuckoo who became a real boy.

______________________________________

My Fanfiction: https://chaniters.tumblr.com/post/181692759294/my-fanfiction-for-fallen-hero    

DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fan fiction using characters and the setting of the Fallen Hero: Rebirth and upcoming Fallen Hero: Retribution games written by Malin Riden. I do not claim ownership of any characters from the Fallen Hero wold. These stories are a work of my imagination, and I do not ascribe them to the official story canon. These works are intended for entertainment outside the official storyline owned by the author. I am not profiting financially from the creation of these stories, and thank the author for her wonderful game/s, without which these works would not exist.

[nightmaretyrantvantas]

I never gave up on you, even when the world acted like it did.

So Im going to preface this with the fact this is about Damian Wayne and an Oc of mine that I ship with him that really only my girlfriend is going to fully understand. This is a DC oc that I haven posted anything about yet, only shared it with my girlfriend as I add to her and refine her. But I was greatly inspired by a fic written by @my-one-love-is-music about Tim faking his death. It gave me so many emotions and is the whole inspiration behind this piece of writing and I just had the urge to post it. Its a bit rough because its not beta’d or proofread by anyone(even me) because I’m publishing it right after finishing it but I hope you guys will like it anyway! 

My girlfriend is going to kill me for this...

I never gave up on you, even when the world acted like it did.

It wasn’t true. It COULDN’T be true.

Damian refused to accept or believe G...She was just...de--gone. 

No no she wasn’t gone. It didnt feel right. It wasnt right. She...she was too strong to just be taken down like that.

Damian refused. He wouldnt accept she was gone. 

That was the first week, the start of the first month of her “death”. While the team and the world grieved he vocally and aggressively denied it. His attitude concerned most, but no one approached him at first. 

        “ Everyone grieves differently...just leave him be for now you guys. He just needs time...” Grayson was the one who rationalized his denial, his tone low and almost dead. The voice of a man whose gone through a loved one’s death before...no...the voice of the boy who went through THIS particular loved one’s death before.

The concerns for Damian’s well being and mental health arose stronger after the first month of denial, when the obsessive behavior began.

She wasnt dead. She was alive, she HAD to be, she WAS alive.

Thats what Damian told himself, everyday as he obsessively searched for her. Every hint, every even slightest trace was poured over over and over and over for days on end. Something was off, he knew it he knew it goddammit!  Everything about it was off and wrong. She was too strong, the death was too sudden, they weren’t allowed to see the body...

He scoured over every single little detail of the mission, the time it happened, everything. He watched video surveillance frame by frame, second by second until his eyes stung and his vision was as blurry as some of the footage. He knew she was alive, he didnt care what everyone else said. They were wrong...

They had to be wrong.

His behavior, his refusal of her absence began starting arguments between Grayson and Kori. Damian acted out worse during missions, he refused to listen, and if he wasnt forced to go on missions or patrols he was locked away in his room searching and hunting for hints, clues, little trails she’d have left for him. But he knew of the arguments, arguments he heard when they thought he wasn’t there.

         “ Dick, his behavior isn’t healthy at all! He isnt listening at all anymore. He’s hurting himself with this obsession. Nothing I say makes a difference to him but he sees you as a brother, you have to do something, he’s spiraling into a dark state of mind thats not letting him move on!”

          “Kori...”

          “Dick you need to do something. This isn’t healthy it isn’t normal--”

          “ Kori I understand you’re worried. I’m worried about him too. But...I also understand what he’s going through...when...back when I first lost Gr--lost Her all those years ago...I was exactly like Damian is now. I didnt want to accept it, I refused to accept she was dead, even when she died in my arms Kori. I know that his obsession isnt healthy or even really helpful for him but I understand it. He’s in pain and distressed and angry and this unhealthy denial is natural. He just needs more time, some more supervised space, and understanding...” 

Damian walked away from that room before they noticed him, a small bubble of gratefulness in his chest at Grayson’s defense. But he was still angry.

She wasnt dead. How could even Grayson give up on her so easily?! 

He knew they thought he was going crazy by the middle of the second month, that he was seeing things that werent even there. At a person who wasnt there. 

The denial and obsession got worse. And with it so worsened his temper. 

They stopped speaking her name around him when he almost took off Beast Boy’s head with his sword for mentioning her name in a past tense. He forgot to eat a couple days at a time, he now outright refused to go on missions. He didnt understand. How could they go on these other pointless, unrelated missions when she was out there, alive and possibly in need of help. He started losing more and more sleep, time not spent searching filled with restless hours of nightmares. Of her, calling his name, of her lost and alone in a strange unfamiliar place, of her captured and tormented.

Those ones he’d wake up in a cold sweat and spend the rest of the night searching, sometimes waking up screaming with bangings and pleads to be let in on his locked door.

Damian knew she was out there. She was leaving him a trail, he just had to figure it out and follow it.

By the third month he looked like a train wreck with feet. He was exhausted, empty, and shakily staying awake on blinks of sleep and caffeine. But now he was leaving, constantly leaving his room and the tower to chase after leads and clues to find her. All over the city, all over towns outside the city. He marked each dead end on a map he pinned up to his wall so he didnt follow a wrong lead twice. He was haunted by ghosts of her presence, her laugh, her comments. The only reason he’d remember to eat was imagining her voice in the back of his mind

Damian look at you! You’re not gonna be a good Robin if you dont eat jerk. 

So he would eat and go back to his work. Even when his father broke his lock open and dragged him across country back to Gotham to get him away from the city it happened in.

       “Shes not dead Father. I know she’s not. Why wont any of you believe me?!”

       “ Damian....I know how much it hurts to lose someone...And I know you don’t want to believe it...but sometimes its better to accept reality and move on for them.” He caught the fist the young boy threw towards his stomach. He hadn’t properly trained in awhile, he was reckless and his reflexes had slowed since Kori had stopped him from locking himself in the training room without supervision, before he started finding leads.

      “ Damian...”

      “ She’s out there, She is still alive Father. I know she is. I dont care what you or Grayson or anyone else says. She is still alive and I will find her and bring her back, even if it ruins me.”

The middle of the third month was practically lived in the Batcave, using every new resource now available to him. He still went out and searched Gotham, searched towns and cities around it ruthlessly. Nothing really stopped him, from requests, orders, threats, even blocking and locking up exits after leaving for patrols. Damian still found his way out  and continued following lead after lead. He felt as if he was slowly going crazy, seeing glimpses of her in crowds or on streets. But every time he’d catch them it either wasnt here or she was gone by the time he caught up. 

But he didnt give up. He wouldnt give up on her like everyone else.

She never gave up on him, he refused to let her down by not doing the same.

Even as some nights doubts flooded his mind, clouding his resolve. 

Shes out there...she has to be....right? 

It was the fourth month. He was almost broken from exhaustion and on the verge of completely losing his mind when Grayson gently coaxed him from the Bat Cave to the Tower. He was so exhausted he didnt register the slight apologetic tilt to his worried frown, the almost guilty pleading light to his blue eyes. 

When they got to the Tower and Damian set his foot on the pavement he almost pulled out his sword and attacked Grayson on the spot if he had more of a mind to. His anger flared then swept itself away in the wave of emotions that struck him seeing the female figure standing beside Red Hood, looking at him with the small smile he’d almost forgotten.

     “ Damian...what the hell happened to you?” 

Her voice, low, shocked, concerned and alive was what snapped him into motion, storming over to the two with an enraged look of death. 

Her dark hair was longer now, starting to lightly brush her shoulders instead of her ends of her ears. She’d lost a little weight and she was dressed differently than she normally would. But those aqua green eyes were still the same he remembered, eyes dark with concern at his silence.

He kept storming for her, fists clenching  so tight his hands began to sting and he looked like he was about to punch them both in the face. 

      “ Damian...? Shit Damian you look terrible what--” She never got to finish that sentence before Damian was holding her in a bone crushing hug that actually knocked some breath out of her. He held her as tight as he could, held her warm, real, living and breathing body in his grip and let himself relax for the first time since she left him. 

She was there, she was ok, she was ALIVE.

He felt her arms slowly but surely wrap around him in response, one hand grasping onto the back of his shirt and the other slipping around his shoulders, her face pressing into his shoulder. Her scent flooded his senses, she smelled a little different, like soap and tacky strawberry shampoo but it was still her.

      “ Gracie...Gracie I swear if you ever....EVER pull a stunt like that and fake your fucking death on me again I will kill you myself when i get my hands on you...Dont ever do that again...” His threat didnt bother her by the sound of her soft, apologetic laugh. Her grip around him tightened and his body loosened and uncoiled as if her presence her touch was carefully unwinding a tightly coiled spring. The world around him was a bit of a blur as she moved away to look up at him and press her hand, her warm living hand, to his cheek with a apologetic smile.

      “ I wont do it again...I promise Damian...never faking my death again. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you...im sorry.” He shut his eyes and leaned into her hand, letting her voice, her touch, HER wash over him. She was here, in his arms, alive and breathing and talking and HERE.

      “ I never gave up...” He felt her perk up at his words, even felt the almost puppy like confusion. He opened his eyes and gave a small vulnerable smile that he only showed few people and his pets. He moved his hands to cup her face before pulling her into another embrace, cradling her in his arms tight as if she would disappear the moment he let go of her.

      “ I never gave up on you Gracie...Even when the rest of the world acted like it did....I never stopped looking for you, following the trails you left me.” She smiled, eyes getting wet and glassy.

      “ You....Fuck Damian...I really dont deserve you...and I know you almost caught me a few times...” He chuckled softly and leaned his head forward pressing his forehead to hers. 

       “ Dont ever do that again or I’ll skin your hide.” She gave another soft laugh, the sound almost music to his ears after the past for months of hell.

       “ Never again.” He smiled and leaned his face more, the relief physically showing on his body as he pulled her closer.

       “ And thank you...for not giving up on me.” 

End 

And There it is! I know it might be kinda crappy but the inspiration hit and I wrote everything that came to my head! I hope you guys like it and if you have any questions about the Oc Gracie feel free to ask! I love babbling about her!

@phantommoonpeople @preciousthingsareprecious

Please reblog with the tags if you like it!

[postmoderns]

do you know any films that evoke the same feeling as melodrama by lorde ?

i thought i was just gonna make a list but i got so carried away thank you for this i did not know this was something i could not shut the fuck up about. these are the films that make me unashamed to feel and love too much, which is the biggest mood i get from melodrama: experiencing life more vividly in heartbreak and self-discovery. 

Green Light- In The Mood For Love (2000) Dir. Wong Kar Wai

For me this song is about being unable to move on. knowing that you need to move on, but that fantasy of love and “what if” pains you. This is why I feel like this song could be sung by either of the main characters in wong kar wai’s in the mood for love. theyre lonely, finding codependence and company when they find out their spouses are cheating on them with each other. they act out a fantasy where they play each other’s spouses, acting out scenes and trying to figure out where it went wrong. and unknowingly, they fall in love. but what is real and what is theater? Its one of my favorite films of all time. and the amazing cinematography and vivid colors feel incredibly Melodrama. They can only speak in code. It’s sultry and missed connections and unrequited love. its the definition of this album i think.

Sober- The Doom Generation (1995) Dir. Gregg Araki 

Jack and Jill got fucked up and possessive/ When they get dark… All the gun fights/ And the lime lights/ And the holy sick divine nights/ They’ll talk about us, all the lovers/ How we kiss and kill each other… alright gregg araki is a strange shock value experience and this is definitely his most heterosexual film but who does teenage wasteland better than him honestly. sex, violence, whatever. three teenagers. theyre driving. they keep accidentally killing people. they make out. people die. but its not your average transgressive film i dont think. (disclaimer i dont watch a ton of them so i could be wrong) 

Homemade Dynamite- American Honey (2016) Dir. Andrea Arnold 

Our rules, our dreams, we’re blind/ Blowing shit up with homemade d-d-d-dynamite/ Our friends, our drinks, we get inspired… If you haven’t seen this already, its about a group of young people with nowhere to go and their camaraderie, and their survival despite people who have hurt them. living unapologetically despite (something) is what i think this song is.

The Louvre- Heartbeats (2010) Dir. Xavier Dolan 

I am your sweetheart psychopathic crush/ Drink up your movements, still I can’t get enough/Blow all my friendships to sit in hell with you… these are stories about desire and longing for someone unattainable. and being unable to stop wanting because its addictive. its about a two friends who fall for the same guy and both pursue him to the detriment of their friendship. xavier dolan does the pop music slow-motion painfully alone mood well. Its also about being unashamed of how much love you feel i think. 

Liability- Moonlight (2016) Dir. Barry Jenkins

They say, “You’re a little much for me/ You’re a liability/ You’re a little much for me”… Moonlight is so many things but a big part of Chiron’s character and life is how his past has made him who he is, and how he becomes reserved to the people around him as a result. i guess thats how he copes with coming of age, retreating inside himself with quiet strength. that movie wrecked me ive only seen it once and im scared to see it again. its perfect. 

Hard Feelings/Loveless- 35 Shots of Rum (2008) Dir. Claire Denis

I’m at Jungle City, it’s late and this song is for you.. God, I wish I believed you when you told me this was my home… I’ll start letting go of little things ‘til I’m so far away from you.. So this film is about people just living their lives. its quietly brilliant and very claire denis. paris at night. people dealing with any and all kinds of loss and living their lives so close to each other. The sounds especially at the end of this song remind me of train tunnels, turns, braking. shes a widowed conductor. the idea is that shes always moving and running away but not quite. but life quietly goes on. 

Writer In The Dark- Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004) Dir. Michel Gondry

I am my mother’s child, I’ll love you 'til my breathing stops/ I’ll love you 'til you call the cops on me/ But in our darkest hours, I stumbled on a secret power/ I’ll find a way to be without you, babe… so in this film, theyre forced to be without each other. not only that but to wipe their minds of their lover completely, afraid of how much love affects them. i think once this film is done with you and youve cried your eyes out you get that same resolution: that this thing or person that you once thought you needed in order to live, you can find some way to continue without it. and if its fading, to enjoy it in the present, or, whatever feels like the present. 

Supercut- Lady Bird (2017) Dir. Greta Gerwig

Cause in my head, in my head, I do everything right/ When you call I’ll forgive and not fight/ All the moments I play in the dark/ Wild and fluorescent, come home to my heart… lady bird is told like a dream, the way the scenes blend together like memory. the whole thing feels like its fleeting. in lady bird’s head, this is right. no matter what happens or who she accidentally hurts or what her future is, its going to be okay. This is a song about homecoming i think. not to a place or a person but to yourself and the memories of a love once had- and to cherish those memories, come home to my heart

Perfect Places- Daisies (1966) Dir. Vera Chytilova

All the nights spent off our faces/ Trying to find these perfect places/ What the fuck are perfect places anyway?.. This is a film simply about two teenage girls who desire and consume, unashamed. Its wild and sporadic and playful in style and makes very little sense but its so fun. I think its the movie playing in the head of the speaker of the song. shes ashamed but she doesnt want to be. the perfect place is one where she will be unashamed. 

[kindaresilient]

the lost empire

art by the talented @embracethelighting thanks so much hun!<33

wow! Im finally posting this and I am so excited! Thank you to the amazing @stupidnephilimlove for beta read it and to my amazing friend Lisbeth for the amazing art. 

This is the longest I have writen(?) and i cant with feels:') so i hope you love the concept and the story as I do.

can be read on ao3

“But afterwards there occurred violent earthquakes and floods; and in a single day and night of misfortune all your warlike men in a body sank into the earth, and the island of Atlantis in like manner disappeared in the depths of the sea.”

― Plato , Timaeus/Critias 

He heard it before it happened.

There was the sound of an explosion, followed by the rapid buzzing of ships flying high to surround the city in a desperate attempt to warn everyone. To save everyone.

It was soon followed by the sounds of the bells warning everybody about the threat, soon madness was unleashed.

People ran. Families grabbed their loved ones, to safety. He was overwhelmed, watching everything unfolding in slow motion, and he gripped his toy tightly.

That was until his mother pulled him out of his reviere.

Clutching him by the shoulders, shaking him and turning him around to stare at him with wide eyes, full of fear.

"Magnus c'mon!" She grabbed his hand and pulled him forwards. Towards where, he didn't know. He wanted to go back, at least to pick up his toy where it fell.

His mom, sensing this, shook him. "Magnus! Let it go. There's no time!" she pleaded with him.

That was when it happened.

A streak of blue lights, the same color as the crystal, engulfed her. Her eyes shone the same. Her body levitated from the ground, going limp, and she released his hand.

"Mama!" he screamed trying to reach for her as she went up in the sky and merged with the bright blue lights. Statues of stone formed a shield around them...protecting them from danger? Or pulling them into more?

He didn't know. He just wanted his mom. "Mama!" he screamed once more, tears streaming down his face. He felt his uncle's embrace then, shielding him from everything.

"Close your eyes Magnus," Ragnor mumbled as he hugged him. “Don't look."

He stared at the bracelet that fell from her wrist. It was the last thing he had left of her.

She was gone.

The city proceeded to plunge into darkness, swallowed by the unforgiving sea.

Alec couldn’t believe their luck.

First the giant robotic lobster that destroyed their submarine and cost them the life of almost the whole crew. Then all the obstacles on their way down, from walls to machines failing and bridges falling.

The fiery fireflies and the collapse took the price though.

He heard the screams of Isabelle as they descended, and he called out for his siblings and friends on the way down, hoping they would make it. Also, praying he would make it.  

Then everything went black.

Valentine lit a match illuminating the darkness. “Alright, who’s not dead? Sound off,” he grumbled.

It was soon followed by moans and groans of everyone alive.

Valentine turned on one of the car lights and looked around. “Isabelle, give me a damage report,” he asked.

“Well,” Isabelle started, checking everything with the lantern she was holding, “not as bad as it could have been. We wrecked two vehicles but the digger looks like it could still run. Lucky for us that we landed on something soft”  

“Pomez ash,” Simon exclaimed from a little mountain, playing with the dirt and looking awed by it. “We are standing in the base of an dormant volcano,” he went on.

Iris hit Simon in the head with a bengal and proceed to shoot upwards, watching the bullet go up. “It just keeps going,” she murmured.

“Maybe that’s our ticket out of here,” Jace said. In that moment, the bengal hit the roof and exploded.

“Maybe not,” Iris said with a grimace.

Simon fixed his glasses and gestures wildly with his hands. “The magma has solidified into the valves of the volcano and blocked the exit.”

"Hold on, back off, " Maia exclaimed, speaking for the first time. "You're saying this whole Volcano can blow any time?" She asked worriedly.

Simon got close to her. “No no no, that would take a massive explosion of grand magnitude to happen.”

They all turned their heads to Jace, who was fiddling with TNT. He looked up. “I probably shouldn’t do this here, right?”

“If we blow the top off, maybe we could get out of here. What do you think, Mr. Lightwood?” Valentine inquired. Silence answered. “Mr. Lightwood?” he asked again, looking around.

“Alec!” Isabelle screamed into the cave, looking around anxiously for her brother.

Alec slowly returned to consciousness, feeling like a train fell over him. Maybe it did. He opened his eyes slowly, things coming into focus...and suddenly facing strange tribal looking masks, worn by people with spears and arrows.

He did the sensible thing.

He screamed and gasped, trying to get as far away from them. His shoulder stung at the movement. He looked down and realized he had a bloody gash there, most likely caused by the fall.  At this movement, the closest one of the… tribal people took his mask off.

Alec was rendered speechless. He was the most beautiful man Alec had ever seen. The dark bronzed skin had blue patterns embedded in it, they covered all of him. His dark hair was streaked with silver highlights, his brown eyes shone like ambers and his glossy mouth, hung open, looking awed at something, at Alec. As if he couldn’t believe what his eyes were seeing.

Alec probably should pick his jaw from the floor and get his act together. He then remembered his wound and gasped in pain, grabbing his shoulder, and that seemed to snap the man out of his reviere because he came closer, invading Alec’s personal space and looked him in the eyes. Then he picked up the diamond that was hanging from his neck, put it over Alec’s wound and then touched it, blue lights coming from his hands. Alec was shocked at the feeling, and when the man removed his hands he realized the wound was gone.

Alec sighed in relief and the man smiled at him.

Of course, it was at this moment that the universe decided to interrupt them, in the form of the digger coming out of the wall, causing everything to tremble and scaring the tribal people. He couldn’t let them get away.

“Wait!” he got up, trying to chase them but damn, they were fast. “Who are you... where are you going!?” he kept screaming while trailing behind them. “Come back!”

He kept climbing rocks behind them and suddenly… he was standing in front of the most beautiful view he had ever seen. He barely noticed the others arriving, rooted in the spot at the sight of the enormous flying city surrounded by waterfalls and clouds and blue skies everywhere.  

“ Holy cow! ” Simon exclaimed somewhere behind him.

“It’s beautiful,” Izzy whispered.

Maia went to stand by his side and patted him in the back. “Lightwood, I’ve got to handed to you. You really came through.”

In that moment, they heard some kind of war screams and suddenly they were surrounded by the tribal man again, their weapons aimed at them.

“Oh, I take that back,” Maia said.

“Holy catch, who are this guys?” Valentine asked, reaching for his weapon.

Alec was still in some kind of dream. “They gotta be Atlanteans!”

“What?” Iris said. “That’s impossible.”

At this, one of the masked man started talking in some unknown dialect and pointing at them, like demanding an explanation.

“I think it’s talking to you brother,” Izzy murmured in Alec’s ear.

The tribal man continued, walking forward and talking to Alec. Alec stepped forward and spoke to the man, reassuring him they where here to do no harm.

Tha man removed his mask and -Alec realized it was the same beautiful man who healed him- asked him about their intentions, seeming surprised he knew the language.

Alec answered him, ‘they were exploring’ and again ‘they had no intentions of harming anybody’.

The man answered him with a big smile and Alec turned around to his companions. “They’re good.”

At that Valentine stepped forward, past Alec, and started speaking to them with a smile. “We are explorers from the surface world. We come in peace.”

The dark skinned man gestured behind him with a flourish to the city. “Welcome to the city of Atlantis.” He then proceeded to grab Alec by the hand, dragging him along like an excited kid. “Come, you must speak with my uncle now.”

Alec was happy to oblige, sue him. He barely noticed the others trailing behind.

The scenery was amazing. He didn’t know what to focus on. It was like a mix of lava and water, two juxtaposed elements combining together to create something surreal.

Because of the awe he was experiencing, he didn’t pay any attention to the other conversations, like the one between Iris and Valentine that would change everything.

“Commander, there wasn’t supposed to be anyone down here. This changes everything,” she told him.

“This changes nothing. Everything is going to plan,” Valentine snapped at her.

After a while, they were standing in front of two imposing stone doors. The guards opened it, revealing stones, vegetation and animals all living together in harmony. In the center, there was a stone throne with a huge lake in front of it. Sitting there was an old man with pale skin.

The dark skinned man stepped forward and kneeled in front of the old man.

“Greetings your Highness,” he started in atlantean. “I brought visitors.”

“Magnus,” the old man started, “you know the law. No outsiders may see the city and live."

Alec gulped hard and started panicking at this. Were they going to die? Just for seeing the city? This must be some sort of joke.  

"But Uncle! These people may be able to help us!" the dark skinned man exclaimed with pleading eyes.

"We don't need help," the king replied.

"But Uncle---"

"That's enough," the king said. "We will discuss this later."

Alec could feel the disappointment and sadness from the beautiful man. He felt the same. There's was nothing left to--

"Your Majesty," Valentine stepped forward, "on behalf of my troop,  may I say it is an honor to be welcomed to your city."

"Valentine. Commander," Alec hissed, "this isn't a good idea"

"You presume much to think you are welcomed here," the king replied.

"Sir, we've come a long way looking--"

"I know what you seek," the king interrupted Valentine, "and you're not gonna find it here. Your journey has been in vain."

"But sir, we are men of science," Valentine continued, "we're here in the pursuit of knowledge."

"You claim to be a man of science and yet carry weapons," the king retorted back.

"Weapons allow us to remove obstacles," Valentine replied.

"Some obstacles can't be removed just by force." The king got up at this. "Return to your people. You must leave Atlantis immediately."

Seeing things could get out of control, Alec got near to Valentine and whispered, "It’s best if we do as he says."

Valentine sighed at this. "We will leave. But may I respectfully request one night? It would give us time to rest."

The king seemed to ponder. "Fine. One night. Then off you must go."

That seemed to end the discussion and everyone turned to leave the throne room. Alec looked back and saw the dark skinned man give a sigh of resignation with watery eyes. Then the doors were closed.

"Your heart has softened Magnus. A thousands years ago you would have killed them all on sight." Ragnor sighed and lay down, watching his nephew stare at the closed doors.

Magnus turned around indignantly and approached, gesturing wildly with his hands. "A thousands years ago our streets were lit and our people didn't have to pick up scraps to eat at the edge of a crumbling city" he shouted.

"Our people are content," Ragnor told him.

"Our people don't know any better!" Magnus picked a wet drag and cleaned Ragnor's face,  "We were once thriving and now we live in ruins. The kings of the past would cry if they could see how low we have fallen."

"Magnus--" Ragnor chastised.

"If these outsiders," Magnus interrupted him, "have any way to help us understand our past, perhaps we can save our future." His eyes were pleading by this point.

"What they have to teach us, we have already learned," Ragnor retorted.

"Our way of life is dying," Magnus whispered.

Ragnor took one of Magnus’ hands between his, "our way of life is preserved," he told him. "Magnus, when you get the throne, you will understand." He cupped his nephew’s cheek with his other hand and Magnus nuzzled it and closed his eyes tightly so he wouldn’t cry.

"So how did it go?" Isabelle -Izzy- asked him excitedly as soon as the doors closed.

"I don't think the king and his nephew think alike when it comes to us" Alec told the team when they reunited outside. "He seems to like us, but I don't know, the King seems to be hiding something."

"If he is hiding something, I want to know," Valentine said.

"Yeah, someone needs to talk to that boy," Iris suggested.

"I can do it," Simon exclaimed happily from a corner.

"Someone with good manners," Maia commented.

"I have good manners!” Simon shouted.

"Someone with good people skills," Jace added.

"I will go!" Simon kept going.

"And who won't scare him away," Maia added.

"Someone who can speak the language," Isabelle commented.

"For the sake of the mission, I will go!" Simon insisted.

They were none having that, though.

"Thank you for offering, Lightwood. You're a good man." Valentine told Alec as he patted him in the back.

Alec was checking his language book, oblivious to the banter but perked up at this.  

He looked dumbfoundedly at the retreating team, leaving him alone to wait for the King's nephew.

Isabelle kissed his cheek and hugged him briefly. "Go get him, tiger," she told him with a wink.

He was screwed.

Alec watched from a column as the dark skinned man stepped out of the throne room. He went to hide and took a deep breath.

"Okay, you can do this," he told himself. "Don't take no for an answer. You have some questions and won't leave without answers. Yeah, that's it."

Alec stepped out from behind the column and started speaking when--

The man wasn't here. What that hell? He was just right here, walking the aisle of the throne room.

He sighed, already resigning himself when suddenly someone grabbed his arm in a lock and before he could scream covered his mouth with the other hand. He grabbed the wrist that was against his hand and felt warm skin under his fingertips and a breath against his ear. “I have questions for you” someone--the dark skinned man he realized-- murmured against his ear, breath hot with every word, “and I won’t take no

for an answer.”

He removed his hand from his mouth enough from Alec to mumble an, “okay but why--”

“Shhh,” he interrupted him, “come with me.” The man smiled and proceeded to drag him by his arms.

They climbed slippery rocks full of vegetation and vines,and ended up in some kind of forest.

“Oh, I have so many questions to ask you,” the man exclaimed excitedly as they stepped down from a rock, turning around to see him struggle for a bit. It was slippery, sue him. Apparently he was impatient because he grabbed Alec by the hem of shirt and tugged him down. “You are a scolar, right? I figured by your ugly set of clothes and that book you carry around,” he told Alec. “What is your country of origin? When did the flood reach there?” he started rambling.

“Eh, um, wait a minute,” Alec interrupted him. “I have a few questions for you too. So let’s do this. You ask one and I ask one, what do you think?” he asked nervously, afraid that maybe the man would say no. But he just gave him a reassuring smile and nodded.

“Very well” he said, swaying his shoulders a little. That movement shouldn’t be as entrancing as it was.”What is your first question?”

“How did you get here?” Alec blurted out and started rambling, “not you as a person, but your culture, as in all the people who live here, I mean--” he took a deep breath and tried to focus. “How did all this, end up down here?” he finally asked.

"It is said that the Gods became jealous of Atlantis," the man answered and started walking, "and that they sent a big cataclysm that buried us here. Honestly, all I can remember is that the sky turned dark and people were shouting. And then a blue light covered the city, it took my mother as if it was magic. My uncle told me it was calling for her. I never saw her again," he ended narrating, looking at his feet.

"I’m sorry," Alec told him, and he truly meant it, "if it is any consolation, I know how you feel in some way. I haven't spoken with my parents for a very long time and--wait a minute" Alec realized something, "what are you telling me? That you remember because you were there? That's not possible. That would make you like, an eight thousand years old man."

The man shrugged with a smile, "Yes, I am."

Alec stared at him dumbfoundedly, "Oh, okay… you look good." He blushed furiously after he realized what he said. He cleared his throat, trying to dissipate the embarrassment, "do you have any questions for me?"

"Yes," the man exclaimed, "how did you get here?"

"Well," Alec started, scratching the back of his neck, "it wasn't easy, but with the help of this book we found our way." He showed him the book and the man took it, looking through it.

"You can understand this?" he asked him, still not looking up.

"Yeah," Alec answered, "im a linguist"

"This right here, you can read this?" the man asked eagerly.

"Yes I can, just like you," Alec replied and saw how the face of the man fell. "You can, can't you?"

"No one can," the man answered, "such knowledge was lost when the cataclysm happened." He suddenly perked up, like the solution to all his problems was right in front of him, "you can teach me!" he asked - more like demanded.

"Um, yes, I guess I can--"

The man dragged Alec by the arm, "Come! You have to see this!" They halted in front of some kind of stone fish.

"...Is this a vehicle?" Alec asked.

"Yes, but no matter what I do it doesn't work." The man replied, looking a bit like a child throwing a tantrum. It was adorable.

Alec realized he was staring and snapped out it, focusing on the instructions that were on the stone fish.

"Did you try putting the crystal in?"

"Yes."

"Did you put your hand on the pad?"

"Yes."

"Did you turn the crystal to the right?"

"Yes!"

"While your hand was on the pad?"

"Ye--! Ah, oh. No, I didn't," the man answered.

Alec grinned and got up. "Well, that's your problem. That's an easy thing to miss, you deserve credit for getting this far honestly--" he shut up abruptly at the unamused face the man was showing. "Um, why don't you try it now?"

The man ignited the vehicle and started levitating. "It works!" Alec exclaimed happily and stared at him, who was also grining widly.

"I wonder how fast it goes." Alec touched something and the fish promptly moved forward and then made a zig zag, almost crashing into them if they hadn't ducked down. The fish crashed into a wall as Alec and the man stared at it.

After a bit the man started laughing and Alec couldn't help but smile. "So, who wants a ride?" He asked him jokingly and was rewarded with a smile.

Alec was so smitten.

They started walking again with apparently no destination, when Alec realized something.

"You know, we were never properly introduced. I’m Alec," he told him with a smile.

The man looked at him and smiled. "My name is Magnugakash."

"Magnuka-Magnuskash," Alec tried but for some reason he couldn't say it. "Is there a short version?" he asked, blushing a little. Hold it together, Lightwood.

"You can call me Magnus," The man - Magnus - replied.

“I can remember Magnus,” Alec answered with a small smile.

They kept walking and arrived at a river, and Magnus pointed at all the people who were fishing, working together. It was beautiful to see.

One man just caught some kind a lobster and threw it in Alec’s direction. He barely caught it, and the thing was thrashing and trying to bite him.

Magnus laughed and took the lobster from his hands and bit it hard on the neck. The lobster went limp immediately. “Here,” he said, putting it into the bag Alec was carrying around. “Tell me more about your companions. Your doctor, is he the blonde one?"

"No, that's Jace, my brother. His deal is explosives and such. Our doctor is Maia, the girl with the afro."

"Oh, so your mechanic is the one who keeps talking, then?" Magnus inquired.

Alec snorted. "No, that would be Simon. And he is our... dirt expert kind of guy. Our mechanic is actually my sister, Isabelle. She's the best."

"She sounds like it," Magnus told him. "It is time for dinner, we should get in."

They were in front of some sort of big, stone tent. Alec didn't even realized they’d arrived. He felt a hand tugging his own and looked up to see Magnus dragging him.

"Come, sit with me," he told him with a smile.

Alec had no objections.

They ate sitting close together, conversation buzzing around, his siblings and friends merging with the Atlanteans. At this sight, he dared to feel hopeful. He looked at Magnus, sitting close to him, talking and eating excitedly, smiling at everyone.

Alec smiled. Yeah, hope was a good feeling indeed.

Later on, Magnus took Alec on another walk. Magnus was carrying a lantern to show the path and they were surrounded by fireflies, casting lights and shadows on everything around them. Alec was honestly so mesmerized.

"You know, we were hoping to find buildings in ruins and broken pottery...but instead we find a living and thriving society." A firefly came to rest on Alec's arm and it tickled. Alec giggled. Actually giggled . "You know, these ones are kind of cute when they're no trying to set you on fire."

He looked up and saw Magnus had a sad expression. "We are not thriving," he began, "true, our people live, but our culture is dying, every year a little bit more."

Alec sighed. "I wish I could do something."

Magnus gestured around them. "I brought you to this place to ask you for help. There's a mural here, with writing all around the pictures--"

Alec got excited immediately at the prospect of helping. He took the lantern from Magnus and pointed it at the big stone. "You came to the right guy. We can start with this column right here and---Mm, Magnus, what are you doing?"  Alec asked him, a little stunned at the sight of Magnus stripping off his clothes.

Magnus shot him a smik over his shoulders as he continued to strip. "You do know how to swim, right?"

"Oh, I swim pretty boy," Alec blurted out and then cringed realizing what he said, "I swim pretty good, pretty good." He then stripped off his clothes too and was left in his trousers, joining Magnus at the big --river? lake?-- he was getting into.

"Good," Magnus said, giving him a knowing smile. Shit, he noticed his slip. "It is a big distance to where we are going."

Alec couldn't help but smile back through the embarrassment. "Lead the way"

Magnus took a deep breath and dived down. Alec followed soon after. They started diving through rubble and big pieces of stones of all shapes. Alec couldn't believe all of this was down here, wasting away.

They kept swimming for a while and Alec was starting to panic a little. Could Atlanteans breath underwater? Magnus seemed unfazed as he kept swimming but Alec was getting a little dizzy from holding his breath so long.

Finally they seemed to reach their destination, as Magnus got up for air in what seemed like the inside of an cave, followed by Alec who coughed his life out.

Magnus held his head between his hands and stared at him with a fond smile. "Are you alright?"

Alec coughed a little more and tried to smile back. "Well, I didn't drown so--"

"Good," Magnus exclaimed, "follow me," and he dived back in.

Alec sighed before submerging. The things he did for knowledge. He followed Magnus to the biggest set of stones that were there, all ancient texts and drawings being illuminated by the crystal hanging from Magnus neck.

They were close, Alec noticed. And promptly focused on reading and deciphering what was in front of him. Down there was not the place to die from staring a pretty boy. A very, very, pretty one.

Besides, he had a duty to fulfil.

He couldn’t believe what he was reading. He looked at Magnus and gestured for them to go up.

“I can’t believe it!” Alec gasped as soon as he hit the surface, followed by Magnus. “It’s the whole history of Atlantis, just like Plato described. I mean, he was off in some aspects but he got most of them right--”

“The streak of lights I saw,” Magnus interrupted him, and in this moment Alec realized how close they were. “That were in the middle of the city. What did the writings say about them?”

“I don’t know yet, but we are gonna find out.” Alec replied and dived back in. They studied the drawings from afar, getting close when some details caught Alec’s attention. Little by little he was understanding everything, making sense of it in his head.

He stared at the big drawing of what looked like big statues of men forming a giant crystal with their hands and everything clicked. He looked at Magnus and touched the crystal that was resting on his neck.

Magnus stared back at him, not understanding what he was trying to communicate. Alec pointed up, signaling for them to get out.

“It’s the heart of Atlantis!” Alec gasped once they were out.  

“What?” Magnus asked.

“I thought it was a power source,” Alec continued, grabbing the the crystal Magnus had, “but it’s actually the heart of the whole city, of the people, and the bright lights you remember. It’s all of it, somehow”

“But that’s impossible,” Magnus whispered.

“It’s what’s keeping you guys alive,” Alec said, a little too somenly for his taste.

“But where is it now?” Magnus asked.

“I don’t know, but there’s gotta be something in my book about it,” Alec replied and suddenly he realized how close they were, breathing the same air, Magnus staring back at him with wide eyes full of questions.

Alec gulped. Magnus looked beautiful and he was only human. He thought he saw Magnus’s eyes flicking to his lips for a moment. Could this mean…?

Magnus got closer, he could feel his breath against his mouth, but other than that didn’t make a move, giving Alec the chance to hold back.

Fuck it , Alec thought. He was surrounded by all the knowledge he’d craved all his life and he had a beautiful man in front of him. He deserved it.

Alec leaned down and kissed Magnus softly, sighing contently at the intake of breath Magnus took. Their lips molded perfectly like they were meant to be together, moving softly, testing the waters. They parted after a while, breathless and Magnus looking all god like with his bronze skin glistening with water, tattoos contrasting with it, lips parted, his inked hair with silver streaks pushed back, and eyes wide staring at him like he held all the answers. Maybe he did.

Right there in that moment, the real treasure was this extraordinary man in front of him.