#she made me a chemist
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🥺❤️ to old friends renewed
#visited my friend today and cried at how beautiful the life we have both crafted ourselves#she and i are the two pinnacles of our grad program and#i love her sm#she was more of my dissertation advisor than my actual dissertation advisor/PU#*PI#she taught me so much more#she made me a chemist#her students are so lucky
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yk its really hard to not feel like im just an afterthought to my mother
#vent#ive asked her twice (once two days ago and the other time last night) if she could take me to the chemist so i can get my meds refilled#because i have enough for like.. half a day left and i just need to pick up the prescription#but she has just.. forgotten#im gonna probably have to get the bus myself cus jesus christ#shes working rn but she literally told me she could take me yesterday and told me she would take me today but hasnt yet :/#ik its only noon but still!#your a day late already#edit: we all good now i made her take me. i told her she needs to take me cus i havent got enough for tomorrow
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Teacher: Class, we have a new student joining us today. Danny, could you tell us a little about yourself? Danny, standing up: Ugh, okay. My name is Danny Fenton. I'm from Amity Park, Illinois. I moved to Gotham with my siblings. Teacher: That's lovely, Danny. Do you have any hobbies? Danny: I like to stargaze, but it's tricky here in Gotham to see them. Teacher waiting for more: *Stare* Classroom: *stare* Danny panics as the class stares at him. I also really liked helping Dan with his experiments. Teacher: Who's Dan? Danny: He's my eldest brother. He got a job at Wayne Labs three months ago, so we moved. Classmate: What kind of experiments do you guys do? Danny: Dan's a chemist. He likes to create antidotes to various poisons or toxic substances. Last month, he made the new Anti-Fear Gass Antidote! Classmate: *scoff* Yeah, right, and I'm the tooth fairy Classroom: *laughs* Teacher: Alright, everyone, settle down. Danny, welcome to Gotham, but you should be careful with your fibs. They can be dangerous in this city. Danny: I'm not lying. Teacher: Of course not. Everyone turn to pages three and twelve in your math textbooks- Danny, please sit down. Danny: *sits* It wasn't a lie Damian: I believe you. Danny: Really? Damian: Yes, my Father signs Dan Fenton's paychecks. Danny: Oh, does he work at Wayne Labs, too? Damian: .....In a way. Would you happen to know who I am? Danny: Damian Al Ghul. I heard you tell the teacher you prefer that name. Damian: .....Yes. Your pronunciation of my last is perfect. Most people claim it's too hard. Danny shrugs: If I can learn to pronounce Obi-Wan Kenobi, I can learn how to say your last name. Most people are just rude. Damian, under his breath: Is this the rush Mother felt when she found her Beloved? Danny: What? I'm sorry I didn't catch that Damian: Do not worry about it. Merely know that you belong to me now Danny: Like a friend? Damian:.....In a way. Danny: Cool :D
#dcxdpdabbles#dcxdp crossover#from a fic i never wrote#The Fenton sibling move to gotham#Or more like got flung from their home dimension#Dan is twenty five and became thier legal guardian#Danny is fourteen#Jazz is sixteen#Dani is tweleve#Dead Serious#He does not know Damian is a Wayne#Damian went “You amuse me. I will make you mine”#And Danny went “Like a boyfrend or like a slave?”“
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𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐟𝐟 | 𝐬.𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐝
𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: spencer needs your help examining a crucial piece of evidence...but the moment he sees you, his mind goes blah blah blah...proper name, place name, backstory stuff...
𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬/𝐭𝐰: spencer reid x diva!chemist! female reader, same reader as in pick your poison but you don’t need to read that first—there aren’t any major references, suggestion that the reader engages in casual hook ups, reader has a belly button piercing and a described outfit, spencer's pov only
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬: 2k
𝐚/𝐧: requested by @trulymadlydarling it was slowly gathering dust in my inbox 😭 sorry!
"I think the threshold of my lab isn't exactly the best place for camping."
A woman's silhouette cast a shadow over Spencer as she appeared right above him in the dimly lit hallway.
Spencer sighed in frustration and hauled himself to his feet. As he brushed off his pants, he kept his eyes off the woman in front of him.
"Well, I didn't think you'd make me wait fifty-eight—"
"Oh, just say the hour. Is rounding numbers really that hard for you?" she scoffed, her voice carrying a trace of genuine curiosity. She swiped her access card, unlocking the door to the lab. With her back turned to him, he took in her appearance—an oversized fur coat draped over her shoulders, a designer handbag hanging from one arm. His gaze drifted downward, and to his surprise, he noticed…pajama pants and slippers?
"You should be grateful I even bothered to show up at this hour," she added.
"This is really important," Spencer replied as she led him inside.
She moved through the space with effortless familiarity, heading straight for the light switch. Well, this was her domain, after all—the place where she spent most of her days.
"I don't care," she replied. "Unless you've found proof that Marilyn Monroe was the Zodiac Killer all along—then, well, I care a little. Honestly, you have no idea how much you owe me for showing up..."
He rolled his eyes.
"Should I be thanking you on my knees, or...?"
"I could have been busy. I could have been out with the girls at a club. I could have been having the night of my life..."
"I get it, you made a huge sacrifice answering my request, but can you now—"
"I could have been in bed already. My own. Or not my own," she glanced at him over her shoulder. "Though in that case, I wouldn’t have picked up."
Spencer simply sighed. By now, he was used to it—the way most of their conversations followed the same pattern. How she always set the pace, steering the direction as she pleased. How she sometimes deliberately ignored his words and didn’t care if it made her seem rude. How, in general, she didn’t care what impression she left on others.
He had witnessed it countless times, found it irritating every single time, and yet—every single time—he kept the conversation going. Funny.
She switched on only one of the lights, leaving the room bathed in a soft twilight. Her handbag landed on the long counter beside one of the microscopes, and she tossed her fur coat next to it, completely unconcerned about knocking something over.
Sometimes, he watched her with quiet fascination—the effortless confidence in her movements—and wondered if she had ever, even once, smacked her hip against a doorframe. Or stubbed her toe on a cabinet. Those small, mundane humiliations and everyday mishaps simply didn’t seem to fit with who she was.
He tightened his grip on the plastic bag he had brought with him, the one containing something that needed to be examined. The team didn’t know about it yet.
The thought, the theory, had quite literally yanked him out of sleep. He couldn’t function without checking this lead immediately. But he knew that if he went through the lab, he’d have to wait until morning for the results…so he decided to ask for a friendly favor.
Okay friendly was a big word.
They had known each other for a few months, worked together on several cases, gone on a date, slept together.
Not necessarily in that order.
He was just about to open his mouth, say something, hand her the bag… when, for the first time, he actually saw her in better light than the dim glow—or rather, lack of it—in the hallway. Against his own will, his gaze started its journey over her.
From the slippers on her feet, up the loose pajama pants that ended just below the piercing in her navel, the black camisole with thin straps, to her face—completely free of makeup.
Until now, he had only seen her in two versions. One was her usual, elegant work attire. The other was her evening look—form-fitting, designed to turn heads and keep them there.
On second thought, there was also a third version. Without clothes.
But he had never seen her like this. Casual, comfortable, dressed for nothing more than wandering the walls of her own apartment.
She lifted her arms to tie her hair into a ponytail, and her shirt rode up slightly.
“If my piercing fascinates you that much, I can give you my piercer’s number,” she offered dryly, a fleeting smirk on her lips as she caught his stare. He immediately snapped his gaze back to her face, cursing internally when he realized he probably looked like he had been caught staring. Which, of course, he hadn’t been. “Excellent work. Full professionalism. Experienced hands…”
"I need you to check this stain," he interrupted, raising the bag.
They had been talking too much, and he really needed to know if his suspicions were correct.
She stepped closer to take the bag from him.
“Is this a crucial piece of evidence, or can I touch it?”
“You can touch it…”
She stopped just a step away, shifting her weight onto one hip and tilting her head to get a better look.Spencer instinctively straightened, feeling a strange tension along his spine.Earlier, he had been looking at what she was wearing. Now, what caught his attention was how she looked.
There’s a certain kind of beauty you never quite get used to, no matter how often you see it. The kind that, every time, knocks the air from your lungs for just a second—that fleeting disbelief that someone like this actually walks the earth.
She had it. She radiated it.
And she was just a step away.
She took the garment out of the bag. It was a red turtleneck sweater. She lifted it higher toward the light, furrowing her brow as she examined the stain.
Spencer’s gaze fell on her beautiful face, her eyes shimmering slightly, her lower lip slightly pursed in thought.
Suddenly, she scoffed, snapping him back to reality.
"Mystery solved, and I didn’t even need a microscope," she said, shoving the sweater back into his hands. As he took it, his fingers brushed against hers, catching him slightly off guard. "It’s foundation. I’d recognize that stain anywhere. So, hooray, happy to help, no need to put me in the case report, have a good night, and see you—"
He grabbed her wrist before she could step away, stopping her in place.
"This isn’t a joke," he said, his voice dropping, tinged with sudden irritation.She raised an eyebrow at both his tone and the way he—unintentionally—closed the distance between them. As usual, she looked him straight in the eyes, and as usual, it was hard not to be drawn in. But he tried, because this case was really consuming his thoughts. "Listen, I called you because I need someone to actually test it. Not just glance at it. It'll only take a moment, and then you can go back to crawling into bed with whoever you want. Can you do that?"
The second-to-last sentence made her expression shift slightly.
For a moment, they stood there, unwavering, eyes locked without so much as a blink. Then, the corners of her lips tugged upward—just barely. But it felt more like a forced gesture, an attempt to maintain her carefully practiced expression, rather than a sign of genuine amusement.
"Alright," she replied softly. Not to be mistaken for shyly. There was nothing shy about her, a fact he was reminded of constantly.
"I’ll test it, since it matters so much to you. And then I’m going back to bed." A slow blink before she yanked the sweater from his hands. "With whoever I want."
Why did swallowing suddenly stop being an automatic reflex and turn into something he had to consciously work through?
"That’s great," he said shortly, dryly. He could feel himself slipping into the trap again, letting her toy with him. "Have fun."
"I will."
With that simple assurance, she walked away, and the very particles of air around him seemed to loosen, finally allowing him to breathe again. He turned after her instinctively, the way a swivel chair spins when someone sets it in motion.
She crossed the lab table and leaned over an empty workstation—empty, like all the others. The entire width of the counter separated them now, along with the return of cool detachment to her face. Slowly, Spencer rested his hands on the smooth surface, watching as she got to work. Watching as her hair bounced slightly with the shift in position. Watching as her jaw tensed in concentration. Watching as she leaned over the workstation slightly.
"So," she began flatly, not pausing her work or even looking at him.
Spencer gave his head a small shake, realizing that this time, he really had been staring. At least she hadn’t seen it.
"What exactly am I testing?"
His gaze drifted to her again.
"Something related to the case."
"Wow, I never would've guessed."
He was too distracted to mentally slap himself for how pathetic he was.
"Uh, it’s not exactly groundbreaking," he began.
He could focus—he just had to try hard enough. He just had to clear the lingering trace of her scent from when she’d stood so close. Had to shake off the echo of her words. With whoever I want, she had said. The more he thought about it, the more accurate it seemed. He firmly believed she could have whoever she wanted. With that confidence. With that face. With that body…
"That’s why I’m checking it after hours. Just, you know…backstory stuff…"
A sound escaped her lips—somewhere between a scoff of disbelief and a startled laugh. She looked at him—no, she pinned him with her gaze.
"Backstory stuff?" she repeated, her lips curling into a smile. Not even a mocking one anymore. She was genuinely amused. "Did you, Doctor Spencer Reid, when asked what the evidence pertains to, actually respond with backstory stuff…?"
“No, I…I mean…”
“Oh God, it’s a good thing they don’t put you in front of cameras. Imagine you, at a press conference. Just casually dropping backstory stuff on national television…”
“I can handle myself in front of cameras,” he clarified, feeling an odd warmth creep up the back of his neck. “But there aren’t any here. And besides, I didn’t realize you wanted me to recite the entire case file from memory…”
“That won’t be necessary,” she said with another amused snort. “Backstory stuff is actually a surprisingly accurate term. You know, very professional.”
He rolled his eyes, feigning irritation, though what he really felt was more akin to embarrassment.
“Speaking of professionalism, maybe you could get back to work?” he suggested.
“I don’t have to,” she replied, flashing him a sweet smile. “I already checked everything. And I was wrong. It’s not foundation—it’s nitroglycerin.”
Spencer’s jaw practically hit the floor.
For the first time since stepping into the lab, his mind was running at full capacity.
"Nitroglycerin? Are you sure?"
"Well, I don’t get these things wrong," she said, almost offended.
"Nitroglycerin," he repeated in a whisper.
Oh, for heaven’s sake. Suddenly, everything made sense.
She leaned her elbows on the table, watching him with interest.
He wanted to kiss her.
No—he did not—
"Thank you," he blurted out, her words becoming background noise as his thoughts raced. "Thank you for coming. This…this really helps. I have to tell the team—"
He turned toward the door, dazed by the realization.
Something stopped him.
"Spencer," she called gently.
She didn’t seem angry that he was leaving so abruptly. If anything, there was a certain soft glint in her eyes, a quiet fascination with his sudden revelation. Standing in the doorway, he looked at her one last time, feeling himself freeze in place again. He said nothing, sensing that she wanted to say something instead.
She tilted her head slightly.
"You owe me a favor," she said.
There was something about the way she said it—something that sent a slow, deliberate shiver down his spine. Not even a shiver. More like a careful march of cold fingertips down his vertebrae.
So, naturally, he did what any grown man with an IQ of 187 would do.
He parted his lips slightly and nodded.
#spence reid#spencer reid criminal minds#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid#criminal minds#spencer reid x fem!reader#criminal minds fanfic#spencer reid fanfic#dr spencer reid#doctor spencer reid#criminal minds fic
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hazardous materials | s.r.
in which Spencer takes care of you after an accident in the lab
margovember
chemist!reader masterlist
who? spencer reid x fem!reader category: fluff (hurt/comfort) content warnings: chemical burn, lab safety was ignored, first aid, cute banter, tattoos, chemist!reader, kisses word count: 1.24k a/n: every time i write chemist!reader i get bed chem stuck in my head except i've never heard the full song
“Time?” You asked, using the heel of your shoe to slam the door shut once you made your way through. Haphazardly, you dropped your backpack on the ground in front of the coat closet before rushing toward the bedroom.
Spencer was sitting on the couch, a glass of water on the side table and a book in his lap, he glanced over at you when you stopped at the back of the couch to say hi to him, “Forty minutes.” He reached out for your arm, a careful gesture just because he wasn’t ready for you to be out of his view yet, but his hand caught on your forearm.
You hissed at the contact, pulling your arm back and shaking it out, “Tight grip,” you tried to wave it off, but Spencer wasn’t easily convinced.
“I barely touched you,” he said, snapping his book closed and standing up, following you into the bedroom. “Let me see your arm,” he asked, opening the door when you tried to close it behind you.
Spinning on your heel, you shrugged at him, “Not without a warrant,” you told him. Your eyes burned as you begged yourself not to cry at the pain.
Your boyfriend reached out for you again, this time pulling you in by your belt loops, he herded you into the bathroom, holding onto your hips as he beckoned for you to sit on the countertop. The granite was cold even through your jeans, and Spencer took your discomfort as pain as he pulled your shirt off.
You grunted, frowning while he pulled your long sleeve over your head and dropped it in the laundry hamper, “It’s cold,” you grumbled, slouching as Spencer inspected the wound on your forearm. It looked a lot worse now than it had when you left the lab, the burned skin starting to develop a yellowish hue. “I have somewhere to be tonight, you know,” you reminded him.
This would be your second outing with the BAU ladies since you were first introduced to them a few months ago, Garcia had arranged tango lessons, and Emily was meant to be your dance partner. “What did you burn yourself with?” He holds your arm timidly, pinching your wrist between his index and his thumb and eyeing the burn with growing concern.
“Uh,” you hummed, bracing yourself for what is bound to be abject disappointment, “Nitric acid.”
Spencer set your arm down, resting it burnt side up on your thigh while he buried his face in his hands, “Baby,” he said from behind his palms.
When he said it in that tone, it was easily your least favorite nickname. “I didn’t think it was concentrated enough to burn,” you tried to defend yourself, looking down at the obvious mistake you had made. “It must have been mislabeled and no one caught it,” you told him, trying to shrug it off.
Dropping his hands, Spencer resorted to crossing his arms in front of his chest, “A lot of chemicals have been getting mislabeled lately.” It was an accusation, but not toward you, though you tended to be more lenient on lab safety than most of your colleagues.
“I…” You faltered, flexing your fingers and feeling the skin on your arm pull, “Yes, but—”
Spencer shook his head, “No, you have to talk to her.”
The her in question was your grad student, Leslie, who had made a similar mistake with hydrochloric acid last month, also leading to a chemical burn on your arm. You frowned at Spencer, making your expression as pleading as possible in hopes that he’d drop it.
“This can’t keep happening,” Spencer said, “I know you don’t want to make her feel guilty, but maybe she should. Maybe that’s how she learns.”
You furrowed your brows at him, “It wasn’t her fault.” You felt defensive over your lab assistant, knowing that she had asked you to be her thesis advisor made you feel the need to protect her.
He pressed his lips in a thin white line, “It was,” he corrected. “If you don’t say something, I’ll send an email to your boss.”
“Spencer,” you said, shoulders slumped in disappointment and the faint feeling of betrayal.
Raising his eyebrows, Spencer gingerly took your arm back in his hands, “I know that’s your thing around the lab, not wanting to cause trouble. You don’t want to draw attention to yourself, but I need you to take care of yourself, and you can’t do that if you keep being so flippant about these ‘accidents.’”
You knew what he was doing, turning it into something you could do for him instead of something you’d do for yourself. “I’ll talk to her on Monday, and I’ll redo the UV spectroscopy on the nitric acid,” you surrendered, giving yourself the weekend to figure out how to broach the topic.
He set your arm down again, opening the cabinets in the bathroom and shuffling through miscellaneous belongings. Between the two of you, you had quite a remarkable collection of first aid, the basket that Spencer pulled off the shelf was intimidating, “Here, hold your arm over the sink,” he instructed, guiding you gently so he could rinse the burn with saline. “Does that hurt?”
“it’s just cold,” you answered, watching him make sure any debris was flushed from the wound.
His head bobbed, setting down the saline container and moving to coat the wound with a panthenol cream, “Were you wearing your hazardous materials pin?”
Your face warmed at his question. The one time you’d been the root cause of a spill, your boss responded by gifting you an enamel pin with the hazardous materials pin, “I was.”
“Maybe it needs to be bigger,” he proposed, filtering through the bin of first aid supplies and hunting for something specific, reading the labels on everything before he put it on the burn.
The corner of your mouth quirked up when you noticed he was trying to lighten the mood, “Or have lights on it,” you offered, imagining a border of LEDs around the pin.
Spencer hummed, finding silver sulphadiazine to cover the wound with, “Now, there’s an idea.”
You laughed breathily, “I could get it tattooed,” you waggled your eyebrows at him. “It would make a nice tramp stamp,” you told him, watching his gentle fingers apply dressings to your wound, securing them as carefully as he can so your skin doesn’t get irritated.
“But then I’d be the only one to see it,” he countered playfully, inspecting his handiwork.
Conceding, you nodded, “Unless the people in the lab get comfortable with a lot of things really fast.”
Softly, Spencer leaned forward and kissed you, “I want to keep an eye on this tonight,” he whispered against your lips. “If it doesn’t get better by the morning I’m taking you to urgent care,” he told you, kissing you again before gathering the first aid wrappings and putting them in the trash can.
He stepped out for a moment, returning with an old Princeton t-shirt of yours. You gingerly pulled it over your head, making sure not to bump your fresh bandages as you did so, “But what about my dance lessons?”
You hopped off of the countertop to be met by Spencer standing right in front of you, his hands placed gently on your waist before he whispered, “I can teach you to tango perfectly fine in the living room.”
#criminal minds#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#criminal minds fanfic#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fluff#criminal minds fanfiction#spencer reid x you#spencer reid fanfiction#criminal minds fluff#spencer reid fic#criminal minds fic#spencer reid x fem!reader#written by margot#chemist!reader#margovember
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That Fire is Repeated
AO3 Link
From an anonymous ask: fic of where instead of Price, it's reader who's been infected with sex pollen?👉👈please and thank u!
Deep in the southern jungles of Urzikstan, Captain Price is sent to help with your extraction. On your way out of the makeshift Konni laboratory, you accidentally step on a trap, and Price volunteers to save your life.
“I can’t hear her comms!” Simon yelled out over the noise of the helicopter, pointing to his headset and giving the thumbs down to Laswell.
She typed something into her datapad and showed it to him, yelling back,
“Dead zone! You’ll have to go in on foot.”
Price adjusted his vest and checked to make sure his gun was fully loaded,
“I’ll go. She’s my recruit, my responsibility.”
“Sure you’ll wanna be the big hero for her, too, huh?” Farah laughed from the cockpit, glancing over her shoulder as Price twisted his face, cheeks turning a pretty shade of pink from his shame.
It was well-known that Price had a terribly strong crush on you. You had accepted his advances, but he was reluctant to take it further, realizing that fraternizing was frowned upon. So, you pined for each other from afar, and the whole base knew about it.
Laswell rolled her eyes at Farah’s comment,
“Should we go back to basics? Captain: don’t subtract from the population,” her eyes narrowed, “Don’t add to the population…”
“Yeah, alright, Kate. Got it. Loud and clear,” Price waved her off, staring out the window and ignoring the obvious ribbing from his colleagues.
“Go get Sparrow and let’s go the fuck home,” Laswell hollered at him, opening the door to the chopper and letting the air whoosh inside.
The wind stung his cheeks, and the tall grass blades spun and twirled like violent dancers as he made his way towards the old, dilapidated lab. You’d been sent to infiltrate secret Konni operations here, disguised as a chemist. Now that the Konni operatives had been dispatched, you secured the intel and were ready for extraction. Price was ready to have you back. These types of ops were so delicate. One wrong move would put you in danger. He was glad the worst of it was over.
As quickly and as carefully as he could, Price made his way inside. It was a little odd that you weren’t outside waiting for the extraction, so his guard was up. In the main lab, he spotted you, standing with your bag and your weapon with your back towards him.
“Little bird?” Price questioned under his breath, moving forward slowly, using the pet name he saved for when you two were alone.
“Hey, Captain. Glad you made it,” you called out to him, your voice tinged with obvious sobbing and stress.
“What is it, Spar? What’s happened?”
He made his way around the lab table and saw you. You were standing stock-still, staring down at your foot. Then, he knew what had made you cry.
Jutting out of your pant leg, a giant syringe was stuck into your calf, empty.
Price leaned down to help you, removing the needle, panicking at the thought of losing you,
“Can you move?”
“When I do… Captain, it’s excruciating.”
“Fuck,” Price tried the comms. But, then he remembered it was a dead zone, and no one was coming to help him. He asked you, “Is it poison? How’d this happen?”
“They call it XLR8. It’s what they’ve been working on. A prototype. I was bending down to grab my bag and this was rigged to hit me. They knew I was a spy.”
“What does it do, this prototype?” You heard his voice quiver at the end of his question.
You blushed, laughing a bit,
“It incapacitates you, first. Removes your inhibitions, next. Then, it causes extreme vasodilation…”
“In the Queen’s bloody English, love. Please…”
“John,” you used his name, looking up into his eyes, “I may ask you to do things to me. Things that I might not usually ask for. And I want you to know that you don’t have to listen to me. I don’t want you to do anything… I don’t want to force you to do… things…”
“Birdie. Tell me what I need to know.”
“When the Konni scientists injected it into mice, they would breed… for hours. They wouldn’t eat, they wouldn’t sleep. One time, a researcher opened the door to the cage, and they didn’t escape. They only bred…” You looked at him in his eyes, making sure he heard you, “But, the mice who were alone in their cages and were given XLR8 got a high fever and died. Every last one of them”
“Are you… “ Price pointed down at your leg, “Do you mean to say that you’ll need someone to…”
You looked down at the ground, steeling yourself for the harsh reality of what was to come,
“When the drugs hit my system, the effects were immediate. Stage one should be almost over now.. You’ll… you’ll know it when you see stage two. But, listen to me, John. I couldn’t live with myself if I forced you to do something that you would regret. Please. I’m sure they’ll think of some other way to help me…”
“Little bird,” he caught your gaze and smiled softly at you, “I’m here for you. I’m not going to let anythin’ happen to you. I won’t lose you to this. I can’t… I care about you too much. I’m going to catch you, and we��re going to get out of here. Just fall forward into my arms, love. I know it hurts. We need to get you to the bloody medic as soon as we can.”
You nodded, and then you did as he commanded. Every movement felt like some sort of hell. You could hear yourself screaming, but it was muffled, your face buried in his chest. You were hanging, limp, against John’s body. You could feel every stinging step he took as it jostled your body. Suddenly, you heard the angry clipping of chopper blades. Then, you passed out.
Sometime later, you awoke, still on the chopper, sitting in the jump seat way in the back. Well, that wasn’t quite accurate. Price was sitting in the jumpseat and you were… straddling his lap.
You were humping him, shamelessly, right in front of Farah, Laswell, Gaz, Soap, and Ghost. The helicopter was full of soldiers, and here you were, uncontrollably rocking your hips against your captain. The others tried to avert their gazes, sitting at awkward angles, trying not to watch, but that somehow made it worse.
You cried out as if you were in pain, and Price held you closer, soothing you with his deep, rumbling voice, speaking to you right in your ear,
“Shh, shh. It’s alright, little bird. I’ve got you. Almost home. Just a few more minutes.”
“John… fuck, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry… I need… oh, God.”
“I know what you need,” he kissed your neck, and he took his hand and shoved it down the front of your pants, giving you something to grind against.
His fingers were strong, and the tips of them were thick, easily pressing through your folds for you, exciting your nerves just the way you liked.
You moaned loudly, unable to stop yourself. When you did, you saw Soap’s head peek around the back of his seat. Then, a gloved, skeletal hand yanked him back around to face the front. If you didn’t die from the XLR8, you’d die from embarrassment afterward, that was certain.
“It’s okay, bird. It’s not your fault. They know that,” he tried to reassure you, but you hid your face in his neck anyway, unable to stop your wanton writhing, soaking his fingers until they slid against you unimpeded.
You felt your hands reach for his belt, digging under his vest and all of his equipment straps. You wanted to spear your body onto his thick cock. You were sure that it would cure you. The fever made you feel too cold and too hot all at the same time. You shivered in his arms, but your brow was dotted with beads of sweat.
He caught your wrist to stop you,
“Just a little while longer, love. Shh, shh, shh. I know…”
You sobbed into his shoulder, ashamed and needy, too weak to fight his grip.
“Hey, look at me,” you obeyed, and he rubbed your cheek, “I’ll take care of you. Don’t worry.”
You shuddered, cresting over a brief, sharp orgasm, coming on him as quietly as you could, biting your cheek so you wouldn’t cry out. For a few seconds, you experienced some sort of relief, but then it was gone, and the overwhelming internal fire raged in your belly once more.
The chopper pitched, landing on the pad at your base, and everyone cleared out of the hull except for Laswell. She looked down at you, pity in her eyes, and then turned to him with concern,
“I’ll send a few supplies to your room. The medic wants to run some tests. How long is this supposed to last?”
John shrugged, petting the sweaty hair out of your face, tucking you in close to him in his arms,
“Not sure. Just trying to get her through it. Take her datapad. It’s got her notes from the lab.”
Laswell took it and stepped down from the chopper, jogging off to the med bay.
“C’mon, love. Let me help you take that fever away, hm?”
You nodded, feeling dizzy and dehydrated, letting him carry you from the helicopter. It seemed like the tight coil in your belly was getting more and more tense by the moment. Your orgasm had been too weak, and it was almost like you hadn’t quite completed the event. You were just stuck in between coming and not coming, waiting for someone to put you out of your misery. What you thought had been relief was really just a prelude to the main event. It was torture.
As you lay your head on his chest, you could smell his aftershave as it mixed with his skin, a comfortingly warm scent with woodsy spices and the faint hint of tobacco from his favorite cigars. You wanted more of it, so you turned your nose into him, running your hands across the belt of his pants, trying to pry your way in..
When he arrived in the barracks, he kicked open the door to a dark room. It smelled just like him. You realized then that you were in his quarters. He lay you on his bed and set to taking off your gear. Your boots and socks slid off, and he unclipped your vest. Then, you felt his fingers on your neck, carefully inspecting your wounds.
“Birdie…” He shook his head, obviously regretful for what you were going through.
You whimpered, looking up at him as you moved your hand down your own pants, rubbing yourself in front of him out of a desperate need,
“John, I don’t know how to ask you this.”
“You don’t have to. Medic’s gonna check you out, and I’ll give you whatever you want, little bird. I promise.”
“I need you, now. I don’t… I can’t… mmmngh...”
“Captain?” A woman’s voice floated into the room from the doorway. Price cracked the door and when he saw it was the medic, he let her in.
She knelt by the bed, and took your hand,
“Hey, Sparrow. I’m just going to check your vitals, okay?”
You nodded, trying not to stare down the dark opening of her lab coat. Her voice was so sweet, and her breasts looked full and soft. Her olive skin would probably feel so warm on your lips. Before you could stop yourself, you had your hand behind her head, kissing her neck, trying your best to unbutton her blouse.
“Easy! Easy does it,” John sat himself down behind you on the bed, positioning you between his legs, and held you back, keeping you from accosting the medic.
“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry. I… oh, my God…” You writhed, trying to fight the demonic need building inside of you.
“That’s okay,” she said, “They warned me. We’re going to get you some help… Let me take your temp… Goddamnit. She’s burning up. I’m going to give her a light sedative and something to try and cut her fever, but…”
She stopped speaking, looking up at the captain, trying to be delicate,
“You probably need to… um… begin. The sooner the better. I’ll leave these with you,” she dropped two blue pressed pills into his hand, “Just in case you, uh, need a boost.”
Price recognized the sexual enhancement drugs and put them on his side table. He waited patiently for the medic to take a small vial of your blood. He thanked her, trying not to sound like he was in a rush (even though he was), and eventually she shut the door, leaving you two in each others’ care.
John stayed where he was, but he softened his grip, kissing your neck. He reached down and unbuttoned your pants, giving your hand room to move. You rubbed your folds faster, making tight little circles around your clit, struggling to come.
“Nnngh… fuck. Fuck, I can’t do it. I’m so close, but…” You whined, gritting your teeth and struggling against the XLR8. It was making you woozy, and you couldn’t keep your strength up in order to get yourself over the edge.
“Show me,” he whispered, staring down at your furious masturbation, watching your hand as it worked, “Show me how you like it, little bird. Teach me.”
Your heart raced, equal parts excited and embarrassed to show him something so personal and intimate, but you did as you were told, letting him see how your fingers worked your flesh. He sighed, and you felt his cock shift against the small of your back.
He took over for you, sliding his hand down below yours, mimicking your movements, and getting very close to perfection.
“That’s it!” You hissed, keening for him, “That’s… oh, fuck, that’s so good. Don’t stop. Please, don’t —”
Your orgasm was almost immediate. Your body locked up, every muscle squeezing you until you were frozen, rigidly convulsing as you came on his hand. Your mouth hung open in a breathless, silent scream. Then, to your horror, you felt the heavy stain of some sort of fluid soaking through your pants. At first, you thought you’d wet yourself, but then when John pulled his hand away to inspect your emission, you saw the sticky, gooey consistency shining on his fingers.
“What… I don’t understand. What is that?”
“It looks like your come, yeah? Quite a lot of it…” He observed. Price brought it to his nose and mouth to smell it. Then, he licked his fingers tentatively, and his eyes rolled back into his head, “Mmm. Fuck. It’s sweet.”
He lifted you so easily, it was as if you weighed nothing. Propping you up on his pillows, he helped you out of your pants and boots, stripping you down. When Price saw you, dripping and pink, splayed in front of him like a gleaming prize, he stalled. Then, he looked up at you, eyes wide with glorious wonder,
“Little bird…”
“John,” you gasped, “Please.”
He didn’t waste any more time. In a flash, your thighs were hitched up toward your chest as he shoved them back, giving his mouth access to its warm, wet reward.
The first long lick was like its own kind of drug. Your whole body sang like a bell, trembling and ringing out for him and his soft tongue. He licked you again and pulled away, confused but pleasantly so,
“Fuck, love. You taste like strawberries. That’s… fuck.”
You lost track of time as he devoured you. His whole face was shining with your stickiness, and he couldn’t get enough of it. He was gasping for air, practically drowning himself, rubbing his chin and nose through your folds as he tried to writhe his tongue deeper into your core, fucking you with it to draw out more of your slickness.
The sounds you were making seemed almost inhuman. You were convinced you had never had a true orgasm before if this is what they were supposed to feel like. Every lap of his tongue felt like its own crescendo. You were putty in his hands, figuratively and literally judging by the dampness beneath you.
Eventually, he made his way back up your body, peeling away your shirt and bra, rustling out of his own clothes as quickly as he could, his muscular arms getting trapped in his jacket, stretching and pulling against his heavy bones for freedom.
“You alright, little bird?” He asked you softly, crawling over you and settling himself between your shivering thighs.
You nodded,
“Yeah, that was so amazing, John. I know its selfish, but I need more. Can… can you fuck me? Please? I’m clean, I have an IUD. Please? I won’t —”
“Shh. Hush, love. I’m not leavin’ this room ‘til I’ve cured you, one way or another. C’mere.”
He pulled you to him, kissing you, covered in your come. You tasted yourself on his lips, and he was right: it was exactly like strawberries. It must have been the stimulant, you thought. Something to… entice…
Your mind went blank as John began to feed his fat cockhead into your hole. All of the pain and the heat from the fever disappeared, and you were normal again. Well, a very horny normal, but at least you felt some relief.
“Oh, my God!” You cried, “That’s it. That’s what I needed. Oh…”
“Yeah?” Price narrowed his eyes, studying your face, watching your reactions with rapt attention. Where you were stabilizing, he was falling apart at the seams.
His whole body shuddered as he slid himself into you. It was shallow at first; he was too thick to fit inside of your tight pussy, no matter how wet you were. But, as he lubed himself up in your body, he squeezed deeper and deeper inside, eventually drilling down right to his base, slamming his hips into yours like a hungry machine.
Your screams echoed in his small room, and the metal bed creaked under his enormous weight. You could feel his power through his thrusts. He was so incredibly strong, and his muscles bent and twisted just to serve your pleasure. It was hypnotizing to watch. You were focused on the straining sinew in his immense neck when another orgasm threatened to bubble over inside of you.
It was too soon. You’d barely recovered from the first one, and as he felt your body start to contract around his shaft, he began to moan right along with you.
“That’s it, Birdie, let it out. C’mon. Come for me… That’s it. That’s… ungh!” He coached you, talking you through it, fighting his own pleasure like the dragon it was, the heat of his breathing furling in hot bursts down your neck.
His eyes were wrenched shut, but between his long, aching thrusts, he rambled, spilling out his words instead of himself inside of you like he wanted to.
“Spar… don’t you know how badly I’ve wanted this?”
Your pussy was being pounded so hard you could feel your pulse slamming against your skin.
“...I’ve wanted you… wanted to feel you…”
His face was near yours, close enough that you could still smell your sweet slick on his beard.
“...it’s so good. I never want it to stop. Feels like heaven…”
When he wasn’t speaking in that hoarse, smoldering timbre, you could see his jaw working against itself, fighting the inevitable.
“...so damn responsive to me. Such a good girl…”
Then, his tone turned dark, burning into your face as he spoke against your cheek through gritted teeth,
“You want more, hm?”
“Yeah…” You whispered, your voice sounding so small.
“Harder? You want it harder, don’t you, little bird? I can tell.”
You nodded, whispering your pleading to him in wordless gasps. He smiled. You could feel it against your skin,
“Bloody hell. Bloody fuckin’ hell,” he lamented, rising up above you, wrenching his fingers around your waist, the gentleness gone from his touch, “Fuck, Birdie. You’ll make me come. You… ah!”
He brought you with him as he tumbled over the edge. You felt like you’d been hit with a flashbang. You couldn’t hear, and your vision went white. When you begged your lungs to breathe, you couldn’t take in the air. All you could feel — the only thing your body would allow you to feel — was each silky throb of his cock as it pumped his come inside of you. You could feel it as it burst from him, and then as it melted down your walls, flowing across his fleshy head. It was lava-hot, and you knew nothing except that you needed more.
Price collapsed on top of you, his heavy, furry body sweaty and panting, gasping for air himself. He seemed spent, but you weren’t done.
You flipped him, planting him on his back, enjoying the shocked look on his face, his eyes wide and uncertain. He couldn’t speak; there wasn’t enough time. But, as you began to rock back and forth on his softening rod, he cried out with something between pain and bliss.
“Oh, fuck, love… wait! I’m… oh, shite…”
“I’m… so sorry, John. I can’t stop…” You ground your swollen pussy down to his base, fucking him raw and wild, feeling his come slipping out of you in foamy smears.
He nodded, hiding his eyes behind his palm, struggling to get his breathing under control,
“It’s alright, Birdie. It’s alright. Take what you need.”
As you rode him, he fully softened in you, and you cried out, trying everything you could to bring him back. Then, you watched as he fumbled across the end table, reaching for the blue pills the medic had left behind. He took one, and stared up at you,
“I’m sorry, love. C’mere.”
He grabbed your thighs, and with very little struggle, situated you across his face, grabbing your hips and pulling you down onto him, forcing you to put your weight on his jaw. He began to eat you out, licking long circles around your messy hole at first, and then he thrust his long tongue inside of you, rubbing his nose deep within your wet folds.
You screamed for him then, trying to battle your insecurities and failing. It was overwhelming. The pleasure just built and built inside of you, mounting up and then… nothing. It remained there at its peak, a tightened coil, ready to bust.
“John! John, I can’t… Help me, please.”
With all of his strength, he lifted you off of him, shoving you on all fours, situating himself behind you.
All of his movements were rabid and unwieldy. He was struggling, trying to overcome his soporific pleasure to accommodate you. Hungry for you even though he’d recently been sated.
Your chaos quieted for a moment when you felt his fingers prying your lips apart between your legs, slipping into you like a cork, sinking down to his knuckles into a perfect fit.
“Oh, Sparrow. So fuckin’ soft. So sweet.”
As he praised you, he ate you, pulling out more and more of your stickiness onto his hand, lapping you up with his tongue. You were coming unwound, and it felt amazing. It was as if he was pulling pulsing orgasms from your body on a long silk ribbon, one after the other, soft and slick, neverending.
Then, finally, you felt his head tapping its way into your wet hole once more. Fucking you from behind seemed to be your commander’s preference. It was either that or he had become beyond overstimulated. His noises were a cross between whimpers and growls. He kissed his way up your back, sinking his sharp teeth into your neck and shoulder, grunting like an animal as he buried himself into you.
“You’re so big. I feel so full,” you whispered to him, glancing over your shoulder as he knelt over you like a feral hound, bucking into you shamelessly.
“Feels good, little bird? ‘M not hurtin’ you, am I?”
“No, John. You’re perfect,” you found his jaw as he kissed your neck, nuzzling his face with your own, rubbing against him like a cat.
“Gonna come for me, love? Squeezin’ the fuck out of my cock.”
“I can’t help it,” you cried, feeling hot tears run down your cheeks. You were so overwhelmed, your body was processing every sensation, fraying your nerves. He wiped your temple with his hand,
“I know, Sparrow. I know. Let it out, love. C’mon. I can take it.”
“Nghah!” You screamed, trying to relax into the blinding pleasure, feeling your legs start to tremble from it.
“Mmm,” Price groaned deeply, sitting back on his knees as he felt you spill over the edge. Your sticky come coated his cock and the dense hair at his base, matting the dark fur, “Tha’s it, baby. Fuck, so wet.”
You sobbed through the orgasm as it wrecked your body. John gathered you up in his arms, taking the sheet with him, clutching you to his chest messily, still humping himself into you as gently as he could, but unable to quell his own lurid desire.
“Lay down, Birdie,” your captain whispered, pulling the sheet away and pushing you prone into his mattress, “Try to breathe for me. Tha’s it.”
You tried to do as he commanded. You wanted to be good for him, but your breath kept hitching in your throat. You needed more, and you didn’t know how to get it. You writhed below him, feeling his cock slipping in and out of you, the wetness from your body pooling beneath you.
“John, I’m still so hot. Feels like I’m losing my mind,” you looked at him over your shoulder, and you had to admit he didn’t look much better. He was spent, fucking you on auto-pilot at this point, letting nature take its own path. He was nothing more than base instincts at this point, and you could tell he was having trouble keeping himself tied down.
He wanted to come again, you could feel it in how rigid his cock had become, helped by the pills. Something inside of you wanted to force his come from him, to make him explode in you again, filling you up. So, you pushed your hips back, arching your spine to allow more of his cock inside of your pussy, teasing him with your swollen hole.
“Oh, fuck. Sparrow… don’t…”
“Does it feel good, John?” You asked, not following his orders for once, “Do I… make you feel good?”
“Holy fuck,” he spat, his voice dark and animalistic, unable to tear his eyes from where your bodies were joined together.
You twisted your hips back and forth, effectively jerking him off with your drooling sheath, listening to his deep whining as you tormented him, pushing him to the brink but not fucking him fast enough to toss him over.
“Little bird… Please…” John whimpered, overstimulated and eager to come.
“Tell me,” you teased him, not recognizing your own voice, “Tell me how you like it.”
“I fuckin’ love it. Just like that, Birdie. So damn good. Keep movin’ your hips like that, pretty girl. Gonna make me come again.”
You could feel his eyes watching you fuck him. He used his hands to pull your ass cheeks apart, giving him a bird’s eye view of both of your holes. You could feel the cool air rush across them, exciting you and making you shiver from the sensation.
“So damn pretty,” Price crooned, whispering almost to himself, petting your stretched skin with his thumbs, smearing your wetness all over you.
You felt him grab your hair, right at the nape of your neck, forcing your back to arch, pulling you up to him,
“You want me to come in you, little bird? You want my fuckin’ come? Hm? Tell me!”
“Nghh… Yes,” you hissed. His grip was so restricting, and you felt the air try to escape your throat, “Come. In. Me.”
“Sparrow!” Price shouted, releasing your hair to hold you across your belly, wrapping your body in his arms, ramming himself into you as deeply as he could, letting his cock spill into you once again.
You were full of him. John was everywhere. He was wet and dripping within you, and as he fell to the bed with you, his body covered yours fully, wrapping you beneath him. You shifted a bit, convincing him to roll onto his side, kissing his neck and face, whispering sweet nothings to him as he caught his breath.
“So good, John… You are so good to me,” you let your lips sink into his warm, panting mouth, letting your lips slide together.
“Mmm,” he sighed, “Still hard. The medic was right about those pills.”
“I’m so sorry,” you straddled him again, humping against his still-rigid shaft, “I still need you, John. Please?”
“Sure, little bird. Ah! Oh, fuck, I’m sensitive. Easy… Ngh!”
“I’ll go slow,” you leaned forward to kiss him, capturing his long moan in your mouth.
Suddenly, there was a quick knock at the door and then a slit of light as it creaked open. A skeletal gloved hand reached in with a stuffed bag and dropped it just inside the room before shutting it tightly again.
Price removed you gently, watching you pout, and he explained,
“Laswell’s care package.”
“Come back, John,” you pulled his hand toward you as he opened the bag with the other.
He started laughing, letting you guide his cock back into you while he was standing at the edge of the bed. You watched as he pulled a couple of water bottles out of the bag and set them on the end table, still chuckling to himself.
“Hey,” you pet your fingers through the hair on his belly as you writhed against him, “What’s funny?”
“Strawberries,” he smiled as he pulled a small box of the fruit from the bag, his eyes twinkling in the low light, “You want one, little bird?”
You nodded, but then felt the sudden emptiness of him removing his cock from you again. Then, with a devilish grin, you watched him dip the tip of the bright red fruit into your pussy, twirling it around in your juices, coating it with your thick stickiness, and then sucking it into his mouth, eating half of it and letting it drip down his chin.
He brought it to your mouth, at the same time thrusting himself all the way inside of you, making you gasp,
“Open wide, love.”
#call of duty fanfic#cod mw2#captain john price#cod mwii#john price#captain price#captain price x you#captain price x reader#call of duty#captain john price x female reader#john price x female reader#x female reader#cod
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Can you make a fic of dealer!Rafe and Cook!Reader (not this type of Kook)but a type of Cook that can make Rafe favorite drugs…reader is super smart like knows how to make anytype of drug but she needs a dealer to sell her product……..



chemical lust ۶ৎ
dealer!rafe cameron x cook!reader
warnings: drugs, illegal activity, all fictional
wc: 570 — a/n: this is such a cool concept bby!
the garage doesn’t look like much from the outside. that’s the point.
you don’t want it to.
the rusted tin roof, the faded “CLOSED” sign dangling crooked on the door, the smell of oil and burnt metal — it all does a good job of keeping people away. people, but not him.
you hear the car pull up. the engine’s too nice for this part of town. expensive. showy. loud in a way that makes your fingers itch for the silence of your lab.
then the door slams, just as arrogant as you pictured. he doesn’t knock. just walks in like he owns the place, like he owns you.
“you rafe?” you ask, not even looking up from your burner. you’re mid-pour, and your hands are steady, precise — unlike his loud, booted steps behind you.
“that depends,” he says, voice smooth and cocky. “you the chemist?”
you smirk, eyes still on the clear liquid shifting in the beaker. “didn’t expect your new plug to be a girl, did you?”
“i didn’t expect her to sound like she’s already sick of me.”
“i am,” you reply simply. “now shut up. this part’s delicate.”
it goes quiet. not silent — you still hear him moving behind you, taking in the setup, the gear, the controlled chaos you live in. most guys would’ve made a joke by now. not him. not yet.
when you finally turn around, you size him up. tall. tan. sunglasses pushed back into his hair. sharp jaw and even sharper eyes, the kind that watch everything. a guy used to getting his way.
“sit,” you say, motioning to the metal stool across the table.
he does, slowly, eyes scanning the space like he's still trying to figure you out. "so what is this, exactly? your little science project?"
you slide the sealed container across the table toward him. “this is your product. 98% purity. clean. stable. better than anything your little beach boys have touched.”
he opens it, lifts the container to his nose. his pupils dilate. his tongue runs across the edge of his teeth. “no way you made this here.”
“i made it in my head first,” you say. “then here. don’t underestimate me just because i don’t run around with a glock and a gold chain.”
he leans back, eyes locked on yours. “and what do you want from me?”
“i don’t sell. i cook. i need someone with connections, someone with muscle. you in? it’s 60/40, i cook, you move. don’t ask questions, and don’t fuck it up.”
there’s a beat of silence. you see the smirk before it fully forms.
“and if i want more than that?”
you raise a brow. “then you can take your dick and your attitude and find some other genius willing to make you millions.”
he laughs, low and warm, but there’s something hungry underneath it. you don’t like that. you don’t like him. but you need him. for now.
“so that’s how it is,” he says, drumming his fingers on the table. “no flirting. no touching. no fun?”
you lean in just slightly, voice cold. “you want a cook, not a girlfriend. and i want a dealer, not a babysitter. you don’t touch my setup, and you don’t touch me.”
that seems to amuse him more than it should. “sure, sweetheart,” he says, pushing the container back to you. “but let’s see how long that rule lasts.”
#cameronsbabydoll ⋆. 𐙚 ˚#rafe cameron#rafe cameron headcanons#rafe cameron fluff#rafe cameron x yn#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron blurb#rafe cameron fanfic#rafe obx#dealer!rafe#rafe cameron prompt#rafe cameron series#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron x female reader#rafe cameron fic#outerbanks x you#outerbanks rafe cameron#outerbanks smut#drew starkey#drew starkey x reader
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angel!mafia seonghwa x chemist!mafia reader
evil man possessed by an angel who falls in love with the evil chemist who is basically a devil au LOL
genres and warnings: angst, suggestive, mafia au, obsession, morally black ppl again, mentions of drugs, human experiments (a few details), violence, blood, themes of corruption and forbidden love, lmk if i missed anything, dni if uncomfortable ^
word count: 32k (oops i did it again)
synopsis: when you summon an angel to enhance the town's drugs, the angel ends up being stuck in seonghwa's body- the mafia boss who supplies the drugs itself. the line between good and evil start to blur, complicated by your feelings for each other which lead you to make some difficult choices.
manager-nim: @eightmakesonebraincell (she insisted hwa pure evil i said your wish is my command)

Good and evil must coexist in order to survive.
Without evil, there cannot be any good in this world. Evilness creates the need for good. And if there’s only good in the world, there would be no reason or purpose anymore. There must be evil for there to be a desire for goodness.
Good and evil are the two elements that weigh down the pans of a weighing scale. They hover in the air, tipping up and down endlessly, never balancing because there is always too much evil or too much good at each fraction of time in the world. Perhaps, it is meant to be that way- perhaps, that is the balance this world needs.
Similarly, there is also good and evil coexisting in an individual. Sometimes, there is more good than evil, while other times evil outweighs the good . People can argue if humans are inherently good or evil but it has never mattered- if you live in society, you will learn what is considered good and what is considered evil.
However… sometimes when you look at Park Seonghwa, you wonder if all the foolish rambling about evil being an inherent trait might be true after all. You’ve known him almost all your life and you are convinced that the man does not possess a single good bone in his body.
Again, it was arguable. What is the criteria of being good or what ultimately labels you evil? Perhaps, he is good in an unconventional way- though there’s hardly been evidence of that when all his good intentions have an evil motive. Maybe that was his purpose on earth- to make sure the scale does not tip too much towards good.
A tiny part of you thought that maybe he was the only person holding the burden of that responsibility- but then you would look in the mirror and realise you were no better. You would scoff at the audacity to judge the poor man when you yourself were his equal in every way. Perhaps, you possessed a few morals, but you had always been reprimanded on that.
You could not be a good human in your field. Not when you were making sure that the society was entangled in the web of your deception- attracted like flies to the things that glittered like gold but were dark at their very core. Not when you fed the people with the lies of pleasure and they willingly took bait, losing the conscious part of themselves that would ever warn them that maybe this was not a good idea.
Not when you were the devil who was ruling both the underworld and the world from the shadows.
You did not need to be a good human when you were manufacturing and producing drugs. You just needed to possess a brain that functioned better than the average human, possess a heart that did not function as good as the average human, and finally, stay away from whatever you created.
Bonus points if you had a little streak of-
“This is insanity, sweetheart.”
That. Insanity. The key ingredient.
“But insanity has always made sense. Especially when it comes from me,” you pointed out and Seonghwa couldn’t help but agree, uncomfortably crossing his legs while sitting on his office chair and contemplating deeply.
“Theoretically, it can work-”
“Theoretically,” Seonghwa reminded you with a pointed glare that was a warning to not get too ahead of yourself. He never failed to assert that he was ultimately the one in control. “Theoretically, anything is possible. But if you really believe that angels exist-”
“I don’t have to believe that they do,” you insisted. “But I have to try.”
You were unsure about this, that was true. Summoning demons for ritual was something common in the underworld, though you had never witnessed it yourself, having heard that it was better to avoid that. You had suppliers, though, claiming that they had stored the ‘essence’ of the demons that they summoned. The essence was a powerful thing and had to be mixed in miniscule quantities in large amounts of the base product for it to work- you learned that the hard way too. It took you years and an uncountable amount of dead test subjects to learn that the human body could not tolerate the essence of a demon unless it was barely there.
Did you believe that demons exist after all these experimentations? It was still arguable, but the vials of the essence stored safely in your lab was proof that the world was not only home to humans and animals, but other creatures too. You recalled observing exorcisms when you first started studying dark arts, hoping to expand your knowledge and mix the scientific and the supernatural. You once convinced the mafia lord to join you.
That sure did end well. Here you were, seated right in front of that mafia lord, trying to convince him that if humans could successfully extract demonic essence to create the ultimate drugs, they could extract the essence of an angel to create something new too.
It could change the course of this world, if you were right. You had no idea if the essence would work like the demonic one. Maybe it worked similarly, but at least you would have the satisfaction of having tried. There was a chance though that the angelic essence could open new opportunities for your business. And if it had medicinal properties, you could control the capitalistic net too. You could rule the world.
“Come on,” you insisted, getting up and walking around the table to lean against the surface, bending down just a fraction to meet his eyes. “This could be our salvation, Seonghwa.”
“Or doom,” he challenged, leaning forward while still seated, his fingers going to play with the lapel of your coat. “This could go very, very wrong. I can’t lose my mad scientist now, can I?”
You smirked. “Is that all I mean to you? Mad scientist?”
“You know what they say,” Seonghwa shrugged. “Behind every drug lord is a mad scientist.”
“They don’t say that, but sure,” you scoffed. “Come on. We’ve been partners for years now. Give me some credit, and let me try this. I’ll only try it once, I promise. If it doesn’t work, we let it go.”
Seonghwa considered your proposal- he always let you try stupidly dangerous things at least once, no matter the fear in his heart that he would end up endangering your life. He told himself he did not care for you, but that you were simply someone essential to him and his business. He convinced himself that he had no attachment towards you as someone who grew up with you and survived with you in the darkest period of his life.
And you believed him. That he really did not have any personal attachment towards you. You were just someone useful to him. You always said that you returned the sentiment, but you were more human than him in some ways, and being human meant that you inevitably caught feelings for him.
Not that you would ever admit that to a soul. They could pin you on the very stretcher you tied your test subjects to, cut you open or drug you but nothing could be capable of extracting that confession out of your mouth.
It didn’t help that the person in question was the Park Seonghwa. He could look like an angel and a demon at the same time, and that was perhaps the worst combination you could have encountered. It was his ability to transform his face into the epitome of innocence that was his weapon. He had bewitched every person that possessed any semblance of power, took advantage of any individual that could be of use to him, whether alive or dead, and climbed his way to the top.
And you had been by his side all along. Partner in every sense, sharing brains and planning schemes in the dead of the night, alone in the woods huddled against each other because you had a single blanket that you managed to grab when you both ran away from the orphanage. He was too busy leading the path to worry about grabbing anything useful, he told you.
You had been by his side all the years that you spent after, being protected by him when he teamed up with the street gangs and earned for both of you. You helped wherever you could, his little mad scientist from the beginning, experimenting with drugs and burying your nose in books, observing the doctors and surgeons who were expert on cutting up people to extract organs, learning every practical skill you needed to stand on your feet and make Seonghwa proud.
And you did. You made him proud and you made him strong. You cut ties- in the most literal way- with your previous gang and emerged as a strong duo, Seonghwa operating in the light while you worked in the shadows. He kept you close, within an arm’s length. He made sure you had everything you needed- a roof over your head, food in your stomach, a lab for your experiments, and him.
You were too afraid to ask him if he would treat you the same had you not excelled in this knowledge. You already knew the answer to that. That man possessed no human heart, and the moment you would be useless, he would stab you not in the back but in the front, locking eyes with you and proving that ultimately, it was him in charge. It was why you never risked saying or doing something stupid, because you were content this way.
You were content with the way his fingers travelled up the lapel of your black coat, finding the skin on your chest just below your neck where the shirt stopped him. You were content with the way he traced patterns there as he weighed the pros and cons of trying this damned ritual. Him locking his eyes with you and holding no hint of remorse that was otherwise a permanent expression in his eyes was enough. The squeeze of his fingers around your neck was enough.
And whatever his decision was… it would be enough too.
“Alright. Just once. It should not go wrong, you understand?”
You failed to stifle your smile, soon grinning and Seonghwa chuckled at the way your eyes so dangerously twinkled.
“A devil about to summon an angel. Who would’ve thought?”
“Two devils,” you corrected. “You’re coming with me.”
“Oh, no, no,” Seonghwa shook his head adamantly. “I trust you. I’ll send men-”
“No, you need to witness this moment, Seonghwa,” you insisted in all seriousness, your eyes widening just a fraction. “If it’s a success, we will change the world. You need to be there. For me.”
Seonghwa thought he heard just a bit of an underlying threat in there but he chose to ignore it, like he always did. Only you could talk to him in this tone, demand anything- even his life from him. He had already given you all his life, like you had given him all yours.
He could give you this, too. It made sense- and he really needed to witness this one himself, otherwise if it worked, he was positive he would never believe that they weren’t manipulating facts.
“For you,” Seonghwa nodded. “Make sure it’s safe, and have some human offerings ready in case we need that.”
“I don’t think an angel would be interested, but sure,” you gently pushed his hand that was playing with your hair away. “I’ll have everything ready- we’re doing it exactly a week from now. May the Lord be with us.”
Seonghwa’s cackle roared in the room as you exited. You felt like you were floating in the clouds, now that you had his approval.
You would prove that angels exist, hence proving there was good in this world.
And then you would wonder where the good in your old friend’s heart went.

“More candles?” One of the men helping you with the summoning ritual asked.
You looked around the room before turning your attention back to the book you had borrowed from one of your crew members in charge of collecting demonic essence. He was under the impression that you were trying a different demon summoning ritual, and you intended to keep it that way- not everyone needed to know that it was an angel you would be summoning.
“It’s not a fucking birthday party, those are enough candles,” you said and when Seonghwa snickered under his breath, the man skittered away.
“Someone’s on edge,” Seonghwa elbowed you lightly and you looked at him helplessly.
“I’m just trying to make sure this won’t be unsafe even if it goes wrong. The candles are just for aesthetics.”
“Ah, is that so?” Seonghwa looked around. “And the circle they’re sketching? Will that serve as a cage?”
“The spell and the items I’ll place around the room will serve as the cage, the circle is just a location pointer, you could say,” you explained, shutting the book and taking a deep breath. “I’m going to make a final check. Can you ask everyone to get out of this room and wait?”
“Will you really be here when they summon the angel?” He asked and you nodded. “Do you have to be?”
“Yes, I have to be,” you told him for the umpteenth time, beckoning him to go away. “I’ll be safe, don’t worry. And if anything bad happens… it’s not like you care anyway.”
Seonghwa narrowed his eyes at you and you grinned- you had a habit of making these jabs and he was quite used to that now.
“I’ll keep your word for it,” he promised. “If anything bad happens, don’t expect me to come barging in to save you.”
“Got it,” you sighed, putting on a show of offence. “If I die tonight, it was me who stole your precious diamond ring.”
“I know,” Seonghwa smirked and you stared at him, slack-jawed. He only shook his head and turned away, clapping to get everyone’s attention and asking anyone who wasn’t conducting the ritual to leave the room.
The room fell silent once again, the hushed voices of the people present inside echoing off the walls. You weren’t sure if the chilly feel to the room was because it was in the basement of an abandoned building in a very remote area, or because of the deed that was about to take place.
You waited until everyone had left before taking your position at the far end of the room. Your partner’s crew members naturally knew what to do as if they had trained for this their whole lives. They set the holy items at the four corners, and then some unholy ones at the other four corners, creating an eight-pointed star. Once you were satisfied, you went to pick a holy sword- the sword you had earned after your contribution to the dark arts, the very sword that had given you the idea of summoning an angel.
You dipped it into the tub near you, collecting wine on its blade, its translucent drops marking the earth with evidence of the forthcoming act. You turned your neck to look at the window, finding Seonghwa and the others- human sacrifices- waiting. Seonghwa shared a nod and you fished out his lighter from the pocket.
Once the sword caught fire, you walked with heavy steps to your final position in the front so the angel would meet your eyes. You put on your shades for caution like the rest of them did, and then you signalled the summoner to begin.
The sound of his spell filled the room- it sounded foreign even to him, considering the way he stumbled upon the words- the words for this spell were different from a demonic spell. The summoner sliced his palm and let his blood taint the etchings on the floor, continuing muttering the spell.
For a moment, you wondered if it was all a waste as seconds ticked by without a movement but a collective gasp sounded across the room when the flames of the candles blazed angrily. You gripped the hilt of the sword tightly, keeping it raised in the air. You tried not to let the fear gripping your heart get to you as the temperature in the room dropped significantly.
When the summoner said the final words of the spell, the final call to have any angel in the vicinity answer him, a strong breeze circulated around the room, blowing out every candle and almost extinguishing the fire on the sword. You gulped to swallow the scream forming in your throat, the sword in your hand the only source of light now. You thought you heard someone knocking at the window but the little glimmer of light in the centre of the circle had caught your attention.
Slowly, the glimmer turned into a blob, which then turned into a shapeless source of light- blinding golden light so bright that it appeared white, harsh enough to make your eyes water even through the shades. You narrowed your eyes to focus but there was too much going on-
Especially the warning song echoing inside you- you knew that it wasn’t coming from you. It was coming from that being and everyone else in the room could hear it too, considering how they started backing away.
“Stand your ground,” you ordered, and the men stilled. Your word was as important as their boss Seonghwa’s, perhaps even more important than their own life. “Make sure the barricade remains intact.”
It was only then you spared yourself a moment to meet Seonghwa’s eyes through the window, who looked astonished, his eyes wide as he tried to comprehend the glorious sight in front of him.
The glorious sight that was now taking the shape of a person, the edges sharpening enough to make out its silhouette yet remaining blurry. It seemed to be a crouched figure, taller than anyone you had ever seen, a cascade of hair covering the entirety of its upper body and anything that was not covered by its folded wings. There was no need for a halo when the being glowed from within, though even if there was one, it was too blindingly bright to make out.
“Which little bird summoned this weary angel? Pray tell, pray tell...”
Oh, you were doomed.
“Was it the man that connected us with blood? Was it the man that offered me good, or was it the one that chained me with the bad? Pray tell, pray tell…”
The said men were now leaning against the walls, praying to whatever god that had sent his angel here to save them. Save them from what? It was too late-
“Or is it the little bird that holds the key to my freedom?”
Key to freedom? You looked down at the lit sword. You recalled reading something about how such a holy relic could also be used to undo spells and though you had thought the information was insignificant, you were wondering if you needed to undo the spell right now-
“What purpose must I serve to earn my freedom?”
The tone of the angel turned soft, almost beckoning you forward. You weren’t sure if the angel was speaking out loud or if the voice was still inside your head. You dared to take one step closer before you felt a crushing sense of weight on your shoulders.
“It is I who called you,” you managed to say. “I have questions to ask.”
“You called me to satisfy your humane curiosity?”
There was a warning in his soft voice now. A warning that one wrong move would ensure your end. You looked helplessly at Seonghwa who was no longer present at the window and you wondered where he was. You thought you heard the creak of a door open but he wouldn’t be stupid enough to come inside, right?
You contemplated making a deal with the angel, but your tongue fell limp. With demons, you had heard that it was pretty easy when it wasn’t one of the stronger demons. A little deal, some nasty business, ensuring their essence would do damage that they would like, or in rare cases, a price to be paid usually got the work done.
What could you offer the servant of God? What could an angel need?
“Do I really hold the key to your freedom?” You asked, a strange tugging in your mind. The angel lifted its face just a fraction- you still couldn’t make out its features but you could tell that it was staring at you.
“I have a feeling that you do.”
And you had a feeling that this wasn’t about the freedom from this spell anymore. Entranced, you took another step forward, and another, unable to deny the pull. The being was ethereal and you had no chance against it. You had no chance, and you had no choice but to step inside the circle with this sword, damned be the consequences, damned be the very familiar voice shouting at you to stop-
It all happened too quickly to process- you were suddenly and forcefully being pulled away and the angel latched out, the sword falling on the ground with a dreadful clatter that echoed in the air, intermingled with the shrieks of the people present in the room. Your eyes widened when you noticed the tip of the sword within the circle.
This was the end.
“Get out of here, now!” Seonghwa ordered through gritted teeth in your ear, pulling you away with him and you went along this time, trying to tell him that it was too late, that he shouldn’t have come inside.
He would later wonder why he went inside. Perhaps, the angel himself had called him. Perhaps, he had been attracted to the angel’s pure energy when he was the embodiment of darkness himself.
And if that was the case, why did the angel choose him as his medium of freedom?
The last thing you saw from the corner of your eye before you lost consciousness, amidst the chaos of the summoning ritual gone wrong, was the angel’s hand latching onto Seonghwa’s back and Seonghwa’s eyes rolling back in his head before he fell, dragging you down with him.

All these years of your life had been dedicated to the mafia boss Seonghwa- your friend, your family, and your everything. Even your worst nightmare.
He was the reason you were alive and not sold off as nothing more than a repository of useful organs. If you ever think back to what your life had been like when you were just a child, barely 10, it was rough. It was dark, and Seonghwa was the only light in your life. No matter how dim that might be.
Seonghwa always shined. And you were just a moth attracted to his light.
However, you did not expect the man to physically shine. There was a sheen of actual golden light across his skin as his body burned with a fever meant for no human. You had bitten through the majority of your thumb nail while you wracked your brains for a solution- but did you really want one?
All these years, you had put Seonghwa’s ambitions and goals first. He wanted to escape the abusive orphanage and he wanted you to come along- you couldn’t be more grateful. He wanted to mix with the street gangs and provide for you so you could make a breakthrough in science (specifically, drugs) one day- sure, who were you to deny that blessing? He wanted to become the most notorious mafia boss, earn a social repute and keep you by his side, wanting you to help him become a true drug lord- to be the owner of the most unique and sought after drug. That aligned with your personal ambitions, so who were you to say no?
But your actual goal- if you ever had a moment of clarity without Seonghwa clouding your thoughts, it was to make a breakthrough in science- not just drugs. And Seonghwa knew your heart’s deepest desire, which was why he always prevented you from doing so, warning that you couldn’t be in the public eye. If you wanted to make breakthroughs, you could do so in the field of drugs, and limit yourself to the underworld.
Well, this was what he wanted. Here he was, burning with an inhumane fever, golden ichor dripping from the corner of his eyes that you were sure to collect, already a few vials full. You wondered if this was the essence. And you wondered if the angel really was inside Seonghwa’s body now.
The two of you had lost consciousness when the angel attacked you- thankfully, his loyal servants were quick to take you both back to your hide-out where your lab was located. When you opened your eyes, you found yourself and Seonghwa lying flat on the stretchers. For a moment, fear gripped the entirety of your being before you realised you were just laying down and not tied like one of your test subjects. A sigh of relief later, you turned to find Seonghwa tied, and for all the right reasons.
Thankfully, your subordinate was someone who could be trusted. He made sure to keep the rest of your staff outside and waited for you to wake up. Now the two of you were almost huddled against each other, fidgeting with your clothes and biting your nails- anything to cope, at this point.
“Do you think he will ever wake up?” Dr. Choi asked, his sharp features softening into worry. “Or will he… burn to death from within?”
“I hope he doesn’t,” you nodded slowly. “If he wakes up and remains alright… he will be my greatest product.”
Dr. Choi San chuckled darkly at that comment. “It will only be your greatest product if you let the world see it.”
“That’s the thing,” you looked at your thumb, finding it smeared with your trademark cherry red lipstick. “I would want to keep him all to myself.”
“What a dilemma, huh?” He shook his head. “Well, I for one don’t want to be present when the demon lord wakes up. I’ll be outside if you need me.”
“What if the angel inside him kills me?”
“Well…” Dr. Choi shrugged. “I guess I’ll proceed to take over this institution like you have willed-”
“Not helping,” you glared at him but you both knew that this was a situation you couldn’t do anything about. You were helpless, and your only choice was to wait and hope that Seonghwa would be okay and the angel wouldn’t want to kill you at the first sight.
Another hour must have passed with you waiting endlessly, wiping the sweat off his skin and collecting the tears before he finally opened his eyes, groaning inhumanely and beginning to shiver slightly. You rushed to his side, startled at the sudden shift and poked his side.
“Seonghwa? Is that you?”
“What’s happening to me?” His voice came out strained and before he could ask something else or get your response, his eyes rolled back and he shut them tight, finally settling down and laying limp. Your heart sank and you checked if he was breathing, feeling relieved upon finding that he was. You contemplated untying his wrists and legs but you had to play it safe-
Though you were pretty sure the angel would be able to break free anyway.
When Seonghwa opened his eyes the second time, there was a slight glaze to it as if he was wondering where he was or recalling the events of the previous night. He tried raising his arms but gave up instantly, not even bothering to check why he was unable to do so. You frowned at his unusual behaviour and cautiously called his name again.
“Where am I?”
“My lab? You passed out, remember?” You gently told him.
“No, where am I?” He looked at you, his eyes scanning your face as if this was the first time he was seeing you. “And who are you?”
You felt your knees go weak and you clutched at his stretcher. “Seonghwa? It’s me, y/n. Don’t you remember?”
Seonghwa tried to raise his arms again but he shut his eyes as he groaned. “Untie me. Now.”
You couldn’t say no to that. You unclasped the belts and he sat up, swaying a bit. You passed him a glass of water and he made a face, setting it aside.
“Why did you call me?”
“I was trying to wake you up-”
“No, why did you call me?”
This time, his voice sounded inside you and you took a step back, your lower lip trembling at the shift in his demeanour.
“It’s- it’s not you, is it? You’re not Seonghwa?”
“I’m not your rotten excuse of a human, correct.”
It was the angel inside him speaking. He raised his hands, examining them carefully, finding them rough and calloused. He looked sideways, finding a blurry reflection of himself and shook his head in disappointment.
“Who are you?” You dared to ask.
“You called me,” he said calmly, a dangerous undertone in his voice. “You know exactly who I am. You know my name- do not dare to call me by my name with your filthy human tongue.”
You blinked, narrowing your eyes. “Is an angel allowed to talk like that?”
“Well, I’m human now, aren’t I?” The angel shrugged carelessly, wiping the sweat off his forehead with his sleeve. “Thanks to you.”
“I’m not the one who asked you to possess him. That wasn’t my idea,” you tried to explain, sweat oozing out of your pores the more his glare turned darker.
“Well, what was your idea, then?” He got up, a bit shaky on his feet as if walking after a long time. That didn’t stop him from invading your personal space and standing right in front of you until you could feel the warmth radiate from his body. His brows furrowed and you thought he looked incredibly sad at that moment.
“What were you thinking, little bird? Trapping an angel?”
“I-” you clutched at the table behind you, swallowing the lump in your throat. “I only wanted to ask if an angel’s essence could be obtained.”
“For what?”
“Medicinal purposes,” you smoothly lied.
“Well, you have your answer,” the angel looked towards the vials as if having sensed them. “Though I’m sure it will not work. And you won’t be getting any more of my tears. I shall leave this body soon- if only this cursed human would let me-”
“What do you mean?” Your voice came out small, and you hated the effect he had on you. You weren’t sure if it was the angel, or if it was Seonghwa that made you still cower under him.
“I shouldn’t have been able to possess such an evil human,” the angel tilted his head threateningly as he leaned towards you, scanning your face. “You were who I intended to possess. Maybe he had a change of heart and allowed me to take him?”
“He wouldn’t do that,” you muttered. The Park Seonghwa you knew would never risk his life for you.
Okay, he might, a little. To the point of getting hurt, but not to the point of… this.
“Doesn’t matter. I’m stuck, and I’m unable to get out.”
“Do we need to do another… ritual?”
“Humans,” he spat with such bitterness that you almost wondered if this was Seonghwa himself, testing you. “You should have learned about this properly before you summoned me.”
“Do you know why you’re unable to get out of this body?” You asked.
The room fell silent, and when a subtle shake of his head told you that he indeed was as clueless as you, you finally relaxed and let a smirk grace your lips.
“Well… it looks like you and I are going to have some fun then… angel.”
~
It didn’t take long for you to convince the angel that you needed to run some tests in order to see if Seonghwa was okay- but you used this excuse to extract some blood, run every test possible, take every scan and monitor his vitals. Hours later, you were still stuck in the lab with him, the smell of food and antiseptics filling the room.
“You have to eat,” you said for perhaps the tenth time. “You’re in a human body, and you will have to live like a human while you’re stuck.”
“I could choose not to eat and let this body die. Maybe that is how I can get out,” the angel considered. You shot him a glare- while the angel wasn’t the considerate creature you thought he would be, his tone was a lot softer than Seonghwa’s ever was.
“Or maybe that’s how you end up perishing,” you placed a piece of meat on top of his rice bowl. “Food for thought.”
The angel glared at you for a moment and fumbled with the chopsticks until you showed him how to use them. He caught up pretty quickly and picked the piece of meat, sniffing it and frowning. You watched him curiously as he stuck out his tongue to take an experimental lick, and after deciding the taste of the meat wasn’t so bad after all, he finally put it in his mouth and chewed slowly.
“I can’t remember the last time I ate,” he confessed and you urged him to try everything on the table.
“As an angel… you do not eat, right?”
“We don’t need to eat to live,” he confirmed and you nodded. “Sometimes, we are sent as a human to guide another. At the rare times that we have to play along, we get to experience some humane things- like eating.”
“So… you’re telling me that angels walk among us as humans?” You asked cautiously.
“So do demons, and other creatures that your mind can never comprehend,” he said, taking another bite of the food- at least he seemed to be enjoying this human experience. “Humans think they own this world. They are no more than specks in this infinite cosmos.”
You nodded slowly- you were not going to argue with that. You had felt less than a speck when you saw the angel back in the basement.
“Was that your true form, earlier?” You asked.
“If you ever saw my true form, your eyes and your limbs would burn,” he said casually and you made a mental note of that. “We are not the angels that you read about in your books. Even demons- you have seen them. That is not their true form- we take the shape of what the human eyes and mind can try to comprehend.”
“How do you know that I’ve seen them?”
The angel tapped the side of his- Seonghwa’s head. “I know everything about this human now that I’m in this body.”
“Is he really alive in there?”
“He is. I can’t say for how long,” he finished eating. “He is fighting for dominance. Perhaps, he might be able to take over after some struggle, but I will remain inside until we find a way to let me out.”
“You should know if there’s a prayer or ritual for that, right?” You asked.
“Hmm… let’s see. Would you like for your human to die? For you and your entire group to perish from the face of the Earth?”
“Of course not,” you narrowed your eyes. Was the angel trying to intimidate you, or was he serious?
“Then I suggest we do not tell the world that this poor angel is stuck in a human. May the Lord help us.”
“Your Lord must know, though. Will he help us?” You asked and the angel chuckled darkly.
“We’re just two pieces in his game of chess now.”
A shiver ran down your spine and you got up to clear the table. “Well, it’s late now. I suggest we pause the game and get some sleep then?”
“Sleep is for the humans-”
“And you are a human now,” you let out a frustrated sigh. “I don’t care if you sleep or not- just come with me.”
You instructed the angel to keep his mouth shut and let you do the talking. You told Dr. Choi to take care of the scans and with that, you both left for the Park Residence, a mansion in the most elite area of the town. You watched the angel look out of the window with curiosity and a hint of amazement- you couldn’t blame him. The mansion was truly something ethereal, especially from the outside with its white corinthian columns and stained glass windows.
“Someone like this human should have been living in the dungeons,” the angel whispered and you put a finger to your lips, unable to stifle a grin. “He does not deserve this beautiful palace.”
“He earned it through his blood, sweat and my tears. Give him some credit.”
“Who are you to this human?” He asked as you got out of the car. The secretaries welcomed the two of you and you dismissed them for the night.
“Can’t you tell?” You asked, tapping the side of your head like he had earlier.
“I can only see the memories. I cannot comprehend his emotions or feelings.”
“Do you not feel?” You asked, entering the mansion and being welcomed with the subtle warm lighting of the chandelier- dimmed for the nighttime- that reflected on the polished white marble. The subtle veins of gold running through the floor reminded you of the angel’s tears. You glanced at him and he hummed.
“This is a nice house.”
“See? You felt that it’s a nice house,” you pointed out.
“No, I can tell that it is a nice house because I can appreciate its craft,” he walked towards the staircase, fingers softly caressing the golden railing and its sleek curves.
“So you cannot feel human emotions? Sadness, happiness… love, hatred, anger?”
“And who said those are human emotions?” He asked, leaving you speechless. You followed him upstairs, letting him navigate through the empty corridor- if he had Seonghwa’s memories, he probably knew where to go.
“Humans possess the same attributes as angels and demons,” the angel explained. “Inherently, these attributes are innocent in nature but as a human lives and learns, they take a shape and become uniquely human. No human is angelic enough, nor demonic enough- though… this one might take the crown for being the most demonic.”
“There are worse humans, trust me. At least this one possesses some morals,” you muttered.
“And how do you weigh your morals? What is your scale to weigh them, human?” He asked and you shrugged- he was right. You couldn’t be the judge of that when your own morals were skewed.
“Well, you did see some good in me, didn’t you? When you were about to possess me?”
“You were the only good option, do not think of yourself too highly,” he almost reprimanded and your shoulders sagged in disappointment. He looked at you for confirmation before reaching the last room at the left section of the upper floor and you nodded. Once he entered the room, he looked around carefully.
The room was… lifeless, to put it simply. For starters, Seonghwa was meticulously neat and far too organised. There wasn’t a single thing in his room that was out of place, and the housekeepers made sure to maintain that as well. The pillows on his king-sized bed were neatly stacked. The monochrome aesthetic of his room with a hint of gold surprisingly both fit the aesthetic of the house and felt a bit odd. There was only an abstract monochrome painting with a splash of colours on one wall, and that was it.
“Well, this is where you will sleep- or try to,” you said, taking a seat on the grey couch that was far too comfortable and often somewhere you lounged when you invaded Seonghwa’s personal space. “And this is where I will watch you sleep.”
The angel regarded you with suspicion. “You will kill me in my sleep.”
“You’re far too valuable for me to kill, don’t worry,” you assured him and the angel felt an odd sense of comfort, though he questioned the reasons behind that. “I’m a doctor, so you can rest assured that I won’t let anything happen.”
“Are you not a shame to the medical community?” The angel candidly wondered out loud and you felt a pang of hurt.
“I won’t be when I’m done making use of your essence,” you promised bitterly. “Besides, I’m not your conventional doctor. I’m better than that.”
“You cut up humans to learn medicine. You are the worst kind.”
“And what is your scale to measure my morals?” You questioned, just a tiny bit of the pent up rage leaking in your voice. “Are you sure your scale is the right one, angel?”
The angel smirked- smirked at that, looking too much like the mafia lord in that instance. You released a short breath and got comfortable on the couch, unlocking your phone to check the updates. You paid no mind to the angel looking around and messing the room up until he got exhausted and lied down on the bed, staring at the ceiling.
“I wish to return to the realms of the angels,” he whispered softly as sleep overpowered his consciousness. You looked up and watched his eyes flutter close, his breathing steady.
The angel was asleep. All you had to do was wait for the morning now.

“Fucking… bastard, thinks he is something to take control of me!”
The sound of two books colliding against each other with a thump, and the pent up sigh of frustration.
“Someone is going to die by my hands, and this fucking angel will be responsible for it-”
A smash- or perhaps, it felt like a smash because of the pounding in your head. You yawned unceremoniously, wiping your mouth and rubbing your eyes as you looked around-
You were in Seonghwa’s room- Seonghwa, who was now shirtless and sweating with anger, his upper body almost heaving with breathlessness. The muscles on his body seemed more pronounced and his veins were popping out. You considered pretending to go right back to sleep- maybe you could disappear into the couch if you stayed here long enough-
“You.”
“Hold up-” you raised your hand but when he started taking big steps towards you, you swallowed the scream that built in your throat and got up. Unfortunately, there was no way to get out of here and if you dared jump on Seonghwa’s freshly made bed (man was organising the mess the angel had made out of his room in his absence), the chances of him letting you live would lower exponentially. However, desperate times call for desperate measures and you slid under his arm to jump over his bed, making him curse some more under his breath.
He was quick, though. In a matter of seconds, he had you pinned against the wall, his arm splayed across your neck to hold you in place and you grimaced.
“What have you done, y/n?” He asked through gritted teeth.
“You’re back, though, right?” You asked. “This is a good sign-”
“The angel is still inside- I can feel him here,” Seonghwa dug his finger into his temple. You couldn’t meet his eyes, so you let them lower until they fixated on the big tattoo on his neck. MATZ, a reminder of what he had lost.
“Alright, let me go,” you demanded gently. “And we can talk like two civilised beings.”
“What will you do about this, huh?” Seonghwa asked, no longer simmering with rage but unmoving with his position.
“Why did you come inside the room during the ritual?” You questioned, awfully curious of the reason. “You heard the angel, right? The angel didn’t mean to possess you- I was his target. Why did you interfere, Seonghwa?”
Seonghwa glared at you for a good few moments as if the answer to your question could be found in your eyes. However, there was no answer, and he let go of you. You took a deep breath, rubbing the soreness out of your collarbones.
“How are you feeling?” You asked. “Notice anything different?”
“Just a bit feverish, that’s all,” he admitted and you made note of that. “Find a way to undo this as soon as possible.”
“Already on it, don’t worry. I don’t like these turns of events. But… I’m also going to check the properties of the essence I managed to retrieve, and if I’m in need of more…”
“Get the angel out of my body,” he ordered, pronouncing every word threateningly.
“Got it,” you said in dismissal. If the angel’s essence was something of value… you would wring the angel dry before you would ever let him go. However, Seonghwa did not need to know that. You meekly smiled before walking towards his bed and smoothening the sheets. “What are you going to do?”
“Work,” he responded, “I’ve got a few meetings to attend and a few politicians to bribe.”
“How wonderful,” you commented. “Want me to come along?”
“I can handle it-”
“What if the angel… comes back?” You asked and Seonghwa paused in the middle of buttoning his black shirt. “Are you sure you can handle the consequences?”
For once, Seonghwa was silent and you sat on the edge of his bed, smirking. “I think I should stick with you until we’re sure the angel won’t take over randomly, at least. In case I see the angel is back, I can do most of the talking and make the angel shut up.”
“Why are you so sure that the angel won’t jeopardise my reputation?”
“Because, Seonghwa dear,” you got up and walked to him, buttoning the rest of his shirt and patting his chest. “I can end up killing him, and you in the process. The angel knows I’m capable of that.”
“I know you’re capable of that too,” Seonghwa said in a low voice, peering down at you. “Question is… will you?”
“Stay curious about that,” you told him with a smile, pressing on his chin affectionately like you always did. Seonghwa scoffed though he couldn’t help but break into a smile as well. You told him you would join him downstairs for breakfast and went to get ready.
Once in the privacy of your room, you took a deep breath, thinking and planning for what was next. There was absolutely no way you were going to leave Seonghwa alone. He was stuck with you and would have to remain under your supervision until this matter was sorted. It wouldn’t be unusual to tag along to his meetings and visits- you were his partner, and you were often present alongside him, but you were also a very busy person who was more occupied with lab work.
The lab wasn’t far from here, and while you trusted Dr. Choi, you never trusted anyone enough. You were going to monitor his progress and work with him too. You needed to see the composition of the angel’s tears and experiment with it- but when?
You looked in the mirror, the bags under your eyes more prominent and your cheeks looking sunken. You sighed deeply- it looked like you would be sacrificing your sleep quite a lot now.
And if sacrificing your sleep meant you would be basking in Seonghwa’s presence? So be it. That’s all you ever wanted anyways.

While Seonghwa was the same old person that he had always been, albeit more distant than ever thanks to the being inside his head that ‘wouldn’t stop whispering to him’, as he claimed. You could not blame the mafia boss for being on edge- apart from the fact that he was running a constant low fever, his senses seemed to be heightened as well. The lights felt too bright to him, the noise was too loud, and you-
You gulped as he flicked the dagger between his fingers effortlessly, contemplating if he wanted to slice you open or slice his own head open to extract the source of the constant whisperings.
“Look, it’s only been a few days, it will get better-”
Yet another dagger thrown at the board behind you, narrowly avoiding your cheekbone but definitely trimming the strands of your hair that were sticking out. You didn’t even flinch this time, but you were losing your patience too.
“Park Seonghwa,” you warned. “If you want me to leave you alone, I will. I won’t be responsible for what happens next. You have a meeting with Assemblyman Hwang later. He’s willing to buy drugs from you, and I know you want that meeting to go smoothly.”
Seonghwa slumped back in his office chair and folded his arms as if feeling cold. “I never said that I want you to leave me alone. But the sight of you… how do I put it…”
“Yeah, I know you hate me for obvious reasons, but technically-”
“Don’t say another word.”
You lowered your finger and zipped your lips. Technically, it was his fault and he knew that, which was the reason why he was so agitated.
Seonghwa and the angel inside him were in a constant battle for dominance of their body. For Seonghwa, there was a motive- it was his body, and the angel was a foreigner. A parasite, almost. You still did not know why the angel wanted to be dominant in this body and take control so badly when all he did once he managed to take over was crouch in a corner, away from the rest of the world. He would barely answer any of your questions and you half-wondered if he wanted to kill himself.
There wasn’t a specific trigger either. Seonghwa would be functioning as normally as a feverish human could- a bit sluggish in his movements but alert nonetheless- and a loud groan of pain later, the angel would take over, finish doing whatever Seonghwa had been doing and go to sulk. You were pretty sure Seonghwa did not need to tell the angel to act like a human- the angel himself did not want to be seen.
Perhaps, that was why he chose the darkest of the corners to hide, away from the light of this world.
The angel must miss the light of his world.
“The meeting is in a few hours,” Seonghwa reminded himself. “And I would like the angel to not take over-”
In some sort of a twisted notion of revenge, or karma, or whatever word you could use to explain the unfortunate luck of the mafia boss, he let out a foreboding painful groan and clutched at his chest, his eyes rolling back before he shut them. You watched with mild interest, shaking your head.
The angel was back.
“Hello, angel baby,” you called, beckoning him to open his eyes. His brown pupils glowed momentarily before he regained focus.
“Do not call me such terms,” the angel commanded and you huffed, rolling your eyes.
“I cannot call you by your name with my ‘filthy human tongue’,” you reminded him and he frowned. “I cannot call you angel, or angel baby- which is my favourite term, by the way. I like the look you have on your face when I call you that-”
The angel was beginning to look weary already and you smiled guiltily.
“What do I call you?”
“I… do not know,” he looked down at his hands, the dagger falling to the table with a clatter when he noticed that it was in his hand. “Did I say that you have a filthy human tongue?”
“Yes? Back when I summoned you in the basement?”
“I must have been very angry. I apologise. You do not have a filthy human tongue.”
You let out a short laugh. “I wasn’t affected by it, don’t worry. You don’t need to apologise, you’re literally an angel.”
“Has your heart been hardened so much that these terms no longer affect you?” The angel asked softly and you licked your lips in thought.
“I don’t know,” you shrugged. “I guess I’m used to hearing things like these.”
“This man cares for you yet hardened your heart to this point,” the angel commented, clasping his hands and watching you with curiosity. “It is interesting what humans say out loud as opposed to the words they choose not to say.”
You narrowed your eyes. “You’re quite talkative today, angel.”
“I suppose I got tired of the solitude- it gave me no answers. You might, though.”
You raised your shoulders to tell him that you were right here and as oblivious to the situation as he himself was.
“Since you’re in a good mood,” you began. “We must talk about some important things. It might help speed up your, uh, departure process.”
“Let’s hear what you have to say,” the angel said, tucking his hair away from his eyes and looking to his left at his reflection, wincing at the sight of Seonghwa’s half-tied hair and glamorous suit.
“Why do you take over this body at random times? I mean, is there a trigger, or do you just say fuck it we ball?”
“What does that mean?” The angel frowned.
“Just… tell me why you took over Seonghwa now, of all the times,” you sighed.
“Because he has an important meeting, and he thinks that he can keep me at bay,” the angel responded, straightening. “I am here to prove that he, in fact, cannot keep me at bay. It is I who chooses to be dominant, whenever I prefer.”
“Well,” you drawled. This was news to you. “If you want to coexist in this body without any drastic consequences, I suggest you not try to mess with Seonghwa, especially when he has something important coming. It’s for the sake of both of you, because I know that he will try something stupid to get you to cooperate, and I would rather make an agreement with you and solve this predicament like civilised people.”
“I will take over whenever I like,” the angel insisted.
“Please?” You pouted and he stared at your doe-eyes with an intensity that made you want to take back your words.
“Fine. I can leave him alone when he has something important, but I do not have to answer why I take over any time else.”
Just like that? You frowned momentarily.
“While we’re at it…” you asked experimentally. “Can you be a sweetheart and come with me to the lab? There’s just a few things I have to check- vitals, bloodwork and such. I won’t ask you to cry and give me your essence, don’t worry.”
“What if I do not want to?” He cocked his head and asked.
“Do you want me to beg again?” You laughed. “Please, come with me. It’s for your sake.”
The angel tightened his lips in thought and nodded just a few seconds later. “Fine.”
“You’re not hard to convince,” you commented as he got up.
“I have no choice but to cooperate.”
“Are you sure that’s the only reason?” You teased, going towards the hatstand and grabbing Seonghwa’s coat, sliding in front of the angel and offering to help him wear it. He gave you a sceptic look before slipping the coat on, a hint of a smile on his lips that you decided not to comment on.
“Angels do not lie,” he said, taking the lead and pretending to be Seonghwa- of which he was an expert now, as if Seonghwa himself was instructing him what to do. You went to the parking lot and asked the driver to take you both to the lab.
“We don’t have much time, so I’ll make this quick,” you whispered once inside the car. The angel nodded and you spent the duration of the trip in silence, the angel watching the world from the tinted window of the car. You almost felt sorry for him in that instance.
Once inside the lab, you greeted Dr. Choi who was writing some formulas on the board.
“I’ve managed to break down the chemical composition of the essence. I’m surprised to see it’s very similar to the demonic essence we managed to acquire two years ago,” he said, watching Seonghwa with caution. “Is that the angel in front of me?”
“Yes,” you put on your reading glasses to skim through his notes. “That was one of the greater demons, right?”
“That’s what they claimed,” Dr. Choi muttered, motioning the angel to sit on one of the chairs. “What’s different is that the angel’s essence is more stable and safer to work with-”
“You will never be able to use an angel’s essence for medicine,” the angel declared casually and you both looked at him. “The existence of angels is supposed to be a mystery. There has never been an instance of an angel leaving a trace in the human world- by trace, I mean physical evidence. With demons, it is different- they have their own realms and rules.”
“We could change that,” you suggested. “This could be the first instance of it in history.”
“As soon as you spread it, and as soon as news of it reaches the realms of the angels, there will be a ‘natural catastrophe’ that will wipe off your existence and mine from the face of this earth.”
You cursed, looking at Dr. Choi who seemed more scared than annoyed, unlike you. You turned to the angel. “How will the angel realm ever know that we are using angelic essence in, say, drugs or medicines?”
“Demons track the consumers of their essence. When you and your evil boss sell demonic drugs, you put a red target on its consumers for the demons to prey on- and they feast on it,” the angel practically spat. “They make sure the consumers- the humans- do their bidding in return. So when you replace that with angelic essence, you will only be making it easier for the angels to find the humans they need to eradicate from this world.”
“Well, isn’t that lovely to hear,” you muttered. “What about experimentation here?”
“Your test subjects are bound to die. Any one of them that makes it out alive would not live long enough- and I told you that you cannot let the angel realm know that I am stuck inside this human. Does your life mean nothing to you?”
You looked at Dr. Choi who got the signal and left the room, saying he had to get dinner anyway. Then you turned towards the angel and walked closer, seating yourself in front of him.
“This is what my life means to me,” your tone was no longer soft. “I’ve worked hard all my life for this moment-”
“But some things are not meant to be,” the angel looked almost sad to inform you of that. “And that is okay.”
You gritted your teeth as you stared at him- how dare he look at you with pity? The rational part of your mind knew that he was absolutely right and that this was a shot in the dark anyway- you could still study the angel’s essence and at least learn something from it. But the emotional part inside you was currently fighting for dominance and for a moment, you felt sorry for Seonghwa- this battle inside him must be what he was going through at every moment.
It was your fault.
“I’ll check your vitals and take your blood,” you muttered, getting up and grabbing a kit. You wore medical gloves, checked his temperature and blood pressure, extracted some blood and ran some quick scans. Everything seemed normal and at least that was a relief.
When you finished and took off your gloves, you said that you were going to check his pulse and moved to grab his wrist. At the slightest touch, the angel pulled his wrist away as if your touch had burned him. You frowned and tried again, wondering if that was just a reflex, but he deliberately moved out of your range and you gaped at him.
“What is wrong with you?” You asked, rendered speechless by the cautious look in his eyes. “Why won’t you let me check your pulse?”
The angel’s tense body never relaxed but he allowed himself to return to his original sitting position, eyes still a little wide from the previous interaction.
“Do you think my filthy touch will taint your body?” You asked, wariness dripping from your voice. You almost expected him to look at you with disdain.
“That is not why, no,” he sounded upset instead, moving to grab your wrist instead, flinching slightly again at the touch but relaxing soon after, curling your fingers with his. “I am sorry.”
You kept staring at him in confusion, watching him fidget a bit until he finally gave in.
“It has been a while since I remembered what human touch feels like.”
Oh.
All those times, deliberately moving out of your way and avoiding touching any humans, and now… caressing your hand and holding it with both hands, tracing the curves of your knuckles and marvelling at the sensation that he felt, cautiously meeting your eyes as if there was an implied sin somewhere that he was scared of committing-
All because he was touch-starved?
You shifted your fingers to rest your thumb on his pulse, locking eyes with him and silently counting while you found yourself relaxing, almost entranced by the way he looked at you. So shy, yet determined.
This was not Seonghwa. This was not the man you had spent all your life with. He had never looked at anyone this way.
“Hwa…” you whispered and the angel frowned in confusion. You squeezed his hand.
“I’ll call you Hwa.”
The fire behind those eyes, the flame in those pupils and the warmth of his touch. Seonghwa’s anger. ‘Hwa’. He held your hand between both of his as if it was a holy relic and planted a soft kiss on your knuckles, shutting his eyes and relishing the feel of his lips against your skin. The lips as soft as the petals of a flower. Hwa- that’s what the name meant.
“Thank you for giving me a name.”
You did not need to check your own pulse to realise that your heart was racing as much as his heart- perhaps, in a twisted synchrony.

The meeting with Assemblyman Hwang had gone smoothly without any disruptions with Seonghwa signing a deal that would expand his drug business while giving him protection from the law. However, your interaction with the angel at the lab had left a bitter aftertaste on Seonghwa’s tongue. While he never talked about that interaction or mentioned your new name for the angel, you could tell that he was conflicted about your behaviour with his ‘alter ego’, as you had termed it.
And how could he not be confused? ‘Hwa’ was a foreigner in his body, doing whatever he pleased. The angel was opening up to human experiences more with each passing day and trying different things that Seonghwa himself would never do. The angel seemed to have a fondness for water bodies and mostly, when he took over, he would find the pool and either sit with his legs submerged or just float in the water while staring at the ceiling, as if he could see the stars or heavens, or whatever the angel saw in the sky in his realm.
Seonghwa would be lying if he said that having an angel inside him wasn’t… enlightening, to say the least. While he could not look into the angel’s memories like the angel could, he was intrigued by everything the angel had to share. It made him question his beliefs, but it also strengthened his ambitions.
As for you… it had only been a few days yet the little things were starting to get to Seonghwa. You spoke to the angel so gently and carelessly. You indulged in whatever the angel had to say or did. You entertained him and satiated his curiosity. You let him look at you or touch you however he wanted.
Were you doing it because you wanted something out of the angel? Did you think you could win his heart or convince him to create the medicinal drug for you? Or were you doing this out of fear? Fear for your life, for Seonghwa’s life? Or… was the sadistic side of you enjoying Seonghwa’s misery?
He would not be getting answers to that any time soon, and he would not dare ask you for a multitude of reasons- the first and foremost being that he did not want to sound like he cared. Whatever you did with the angel should not be affecting him as long as you remained within your limits and didn’t cross some invisible boundaries, he told himself and hoped you were aware of that too.
He was not going to lie and say it didn’t sting a little that you barely looked at him anymore when he was Seonghwa. He had to do stupid things to get your attention now, such as-
“If you poke me one more time, god help me Seonghwa, I will break your fingers.”
There you were.
You did have phases like these, where Seonghwa would wonder if you were growing distant from him or had found something- or someone- better than him. Seonghwa was a manipulative bastard and he always made sure that you were within his sight. He never allowed you to look too far, and whoever looked your way? Well… they would be subject to an unfortunate fate soon after.
You were his. His little doctor, his only friend, his family if he ever had one, his everything, yet… nothing. Perhaps, the last part was a lie, the angel had suggested in one of his whispers. Perhaps, the angel was right. But admitting it would mean that he had a weakness, and Park Seonghwa did not have any weaknesses. He had made that mistake once and lost a dear brother, the reminder of which was inked on his neck so he would never forget.
So why did this little phase feel different, almost threatening to him?
“Don’t you have anything better to do?” You asked, but when he raised a brow in amusement, you shut up.
You had brought this upon yourself, bounding him with yourself to keep him ‘under surveillance’. He definitely did not have anything better to do at home in the late hours of night. He had wrapped up his work in the evening and accompanied you to the lab for the daily check-ups and for the past few hours, he had been rolling around on his bed. There was nothing to plan, nothing to scheme for once. He just watched you study and make notes on your devices and before you knew it, he had joined you on the couch, poking at your sides once in a while, making you swat at him in dismissal as if he were a mere fly.
Perhaps, all his talk about being ‘the boss’ had not worked very well, after all. He should have never let you get so close- or gotten so close- because you sure had a way of acting like the one in charge sometimes. The small, almost non-existent emotional part in his brain told him that you certainly helped with his loneliness and he had to agree. You were a crutch now.
“You know I can’t sleep well with all this incessant sound of your typing- why do you type so loudly on a screen?”
“The sounds help me focus,” you told him. “Let Hwa take over. He’ll sleep for the both of you.”
Seonghwa narrowed his eyes. “You want me gone that bad?”
“Aw, is the mafia boss hurt?” You mocked, going back to highlighting an important line in the research paper- perhaps, the tenth paper of the night. You were scrounging through them for any information on working with a chemical bond as unique and complex as the angel’s essence.
When Seonghwa didn’t answer or threaten to kill you, which was the likelier response, you looked at him to find him with a sombre expression. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” he shook his head.
“Something is,” you shifted your attention to him. “Feeling alright?”
“Yeah, I’m just… confused,” he admitted. “Having someone live inside you does that to you, I suppose.”
You shrugged, watching him carefully. “If you have a problem, you can ask me. You know that, right? Forget about the ranks for once, Seonghwa. You know you can trust me.”
“I know,” he nodded assuringly. “I just don’t like this. That’s all there is to it.”
You pouted. Nothing you could do about that.
Seonghwa had a multitude of questions to ask you about the angel but he decided to hold them for now. Instead, he locked your devices and took your hands, steering you to the bed. You laughed- your old Seonghwa was back. He tucked you in the sheets, just like he had done a thousand times now when you were little and would fall asleep in the middle of studying. Dimming the lights until there was only one lamp at the front of the room, its white light creating a soft halo effect in the room, he got on the other side and silence took over. The sounds of your unsynchronised breaths started to fill the room.
You turned your neck to find him wide awake, staring at the ceiling. You felt a pang of longing inside you- you wished you could hold him and tell him that it would soon be over, that you were sorry, that you wished you could make it better and you did not like seeing him acting so unlike himself-
“Shut up, you’re too loud,” he said and you snickered. You shifted until you were facing him though he didn’t move.
“What did you hear?”
“You’re sorry. You don’t like when I act strange, though you do enjoy it,” he spared you a glance and you grinned.
“That’s only half of it, though.”
“Would I want to hear the other half?” He asked.
“Well… some things are better left unsaid for a reason, eh?”
Seonghwa shifted to mirror your position, now facing each other. It was a good thing that there was still a respectable distance between you two. Sleeping like this had never been a problem- you didn’t have the luxury of sleeping in separate spaces for most part of your childhood, and once you did have the luxury, you would find each other anyway.
“Something tells me I should hear it anyway.”
“Ah, it’s the sentimental Seonghwa tonight, I see,” you retorted and when he shot you a glare, you gave in. “I wish I could make this situation better for you.”
“Hmm… you’re doing your best, though. Try harder from tomorrow,” he ordered and you muttered a ‘yes sir’. “What’s the last bit?”
You bit your lips- would you dare tell him now? If he pushed you away, you would have to live with that.
But then… he pushed you away all the time anyway, and there was Hwa. He made up for it.
“I just…” you started, finding his hand under the sheets and brushing your fingers against his. He remained still. “I just want you to hold on if things get hard.”
“Things will get better,” Seonghwa said, the words sounding like a lie even to himself. “I know I could die, we both could if the angels or anyone finds out about this, but… it will be okay. We will survive this, y/n. We always do.”
“I don’t want to live through that pain again,” you whispered.
“Tsk. You’re strong. You’re a warrior, and you will survive,” he assured you. “I will make sure you do.”
While he did not hold your hand, he let your fingers remain where they were, caressing his and you moved just a bit so you could lightly link them. A shaky breath left your lips as you allowed yourself to relax, welcoming sleep and leaving Seonghwa to wonder if he could say the same about himself- would he survive this ordeal?
He would wonder about that later.
~
When you opened your eyes the next morning, you were greeted by the sight of Seonghwa who was already awake and watching you. You frowned, rubbing your eyes and moving to check the time before slumping right back- you could still get a few minutes of sleep.
You shut your eyes and curled your body, fisting the sheets, your head spinning with drowsiness. About a minute passed when you realised that the person watching you sleep wasn’t Seonghwa-
It was the angel.
You opened one eye to find him watching you with the softest gaze, lips parted. Your heart would have swooped if you weren’t half asleep.
“Never watched a human sleep, eh?” You asked, voice raspy.
“Not like this- not so closely,” he admitted.
And perhaps, the drowsiness was getting to your head. You moved closer, tucking your head under his chin. The angel’s body tensed and you grinned to yourself- your bodies were still maintaining a distance but at least he wouldn’t be able to see your sleepy face.
“There we go. You can take an even closer look now,” you said, preparing to go back to sleep.
“I cannot see you anymore,” the angel complained.
“Perhaps, that is the whole point,” you told him.
“I suppose I can try something else then.”
Before you could ask what was going on in his head, he was tucking you closer, wrapping his arm around your waist. For a few moments, drowsiness left and clarity overcame your senses- Seonghwa had never cuddled like this with you. This- one arm draped over your waist, keeping you close, his other hand caressing your hair in an attempt to lull you back to sleep, your breaths synchronising with the rise and fall of his chest…
Heavens above.
“Do I scare you?” The angel asked cautiously and you made the mistake of looking up, finding his eyes filled with worry.
“No,” you admitted, watching his expressions morph into what had to be happiness.
“Then relax, and get your fill of sleep.”
Easier said than done. The fact that it was ultimately Seonghwa’s body and his voice made this entire situation more difficult to comprehend. However, there was no other choice but to relax in the angel’s touch and perhaps, that’s what you were meant to do for now. You relaxed a bit and fisted his shirt- Seonghwa’s shirt- instead of the sheets.
And when you woke up later, the angel was asleep, looking content. You knew it was the angel because Seonghwa looked like he was fighting demons even in his sleep. You smiled at the sight, daring to caress the angel- Seonghwa’s- face, feeling something sad building inside you. You tucked his hair away, the strands as soft as you remembered from years ago. You ran your fingers through his hair-
Wincing when you felt a sharp burn against your finger. You drew away your hand, finding a small part of your index finger singed- was there something in his hair? You cautiously ran your hand through his hair again-
A little yelp escaped your mouth as you felt a sharper burn this time and you clutched at your hand, a small red welt near your thumb now-
“Oh, dear,” the angel was awake and inspecting your hand worriedly. You looked at him in confusion and surprise as he shut his eyes to say a prayer, holding your hand to his forehead and then bringing it to his lips, planting soft kisses on the burns that seemed to be patching up as if there was never a wound in the first place.
You gasped in disbelief, inspecting your hand. “How did you do that?”
“I am sorry,” the angel’s brows were furrowed in pain as if he himself had received those burns. “I did not mean to- it is probably my halo. I did not know it would burn even as a human.”
“It’s okay,” you assured, examining your hand. “I’m all patched up now, aren’t I?”
“I hurt you-”
“It’s okay,” you broke into a smile. “It didn’t hurt too much- I was more surprised.”
“I burned you-”
“Hwa,” you cupped his face, making him look at you, his eyes glazed. “I’m a strong girl. These little burns don’t make me feel much. I receive burns all the time, see?” You showed him your hands and arms, littered with faded scars of burns. “In my field, you get used to it.”
“Your skin is not meant to be marred like this.”
“But humans carry the marks of their life all the time,” you told him. “Don’t you carry something like that too? If not on your body… in your heart?”
Hwa looked at you with thoughtful eyes, moving to sit cross-legged on the bed, never letting go of your hands as you moved to sit in front of him. He sighed deeply, unable to meet your eyes.
“Do you want me to heal them?” He asked cautiously. You shook your head no.
“Each mark on my body tells a story. I’d like to keep them,” you explained.
“Can I… kiss your hands anyway?”
Oh. He was going to be the death of you.
“Do you have a thing for my hands, sir?” You joked. “These aren’t the prettiest hands ever, I can find you a better pair-”
The angel ignored your rambling, planting soft kisses on the back of both your hands before he looked up. “To me, they are beautiful, because they tell your story.”
“Hwa- you can’t just kiss my hands and act all normal afterwards. This is not normal.”
“I am an angel,” he told you, kissing each of your knuckles, looking almost drunk with his flushed cheeks and glazed eyes. “Normal cannot define or bound me.”
Your eyes twitched in half anger and half… submission.
“What are you trying to do, Hwa? What are you trying to pull?”
“Do you think I have some hidden intentions?” He asked almost dangerously, and you thought that he looked obsessive for a second. “I- I only wanted to experience this feeling, and if you want to push me away, I will go back to hide in the corners-”
“What feeling do you want to experience so badly?”
“Being human,” he said, almost spat as if the idea appalled him too. “I cannot tell if it is the human in me making me feel so strange, but I want to touch and be touched. I want to live- I want to eat like humans do and savour the flavours on my tongue. I want to bask in the sun until it starts to burn me and float in the pool until I feel one with the water. I want to hold another human, feel their heartbeat against mine, do something about the yearning in my heart- I’ve never felt like this.”
For once, you had nothing to say. You simply watched the angel curl in on himself, looking like a broken piece.
“And I’m scared,” said the wounded soul. “I’m scared that I will never be able to go back to my realm. I’m scared of being okay with that. I’m scared of enjoying these human experiences. What if I do not hate the idea of being human and they find me? I do not want to die a human, yet…”
“I’m sorry for misunderstanding you,” you did not hesitate to pull the angel in your arms. If this was what he needed, you could give him that. The angel sucked in a breath but quickly melted in your arms, clutching at you almost childishly.
“I think I understand you,” you caressed his head, not caring how it burned your skin. “You’re a human, for now, whether you like it or not. This is your chance to experience what it is like to be a human without any boundaries. No one is stopping you, and I… I will protect you… until you are ready to go back. I hope you will be welcomed with open arms when you go back. You must miss your home so much, Hwa. I’m sorry I didn’t realise that- you do not have to be human to miss your home.”
Hwa buried his face in the crook of your neck, taking deep breaths. You winced at your damaged hands, resorting to hold him still instead.
“Have you always been this mellow, oh angel?” You asked.
“This is who I am,” the angel admitted, drawing away. “But you have seen how angry I can get.”
“Yeah, angry is an ugly look even on angels,” you agreed, shivering at the memory when you felt like he would have obliterated your existence with a mere swipe of his finger. You showed him your hands and he winced, looking apologetic but you smiled, making pride swell in his heart. With a prayer, he kissed every burn mark until your hands were back to normal.
“I will try to refrain from caressing your head from now on,” you stretched your fingers. “My hands are precious to me, thank you very much.”
The angel laughed, a small part of him knowing you wouldn’t be able to do that. You shared a laugh, smacking his back and asking him to get up and join you for breakfast.
Once again, in the privacy of your room, you crumbled to the floor.
What were you doing? Letting the angel touch and hold you like that- he was supposed to be the touch-starved being, but you were no better. How could you do this to yourself- to Seonghwa?
Just what were you getting yourself into?
And why did the consequences of your actions not scare you?

Everything seemed to be in order in your life and Seonghwa’s, yet it had never been like this before.
Seonghwa never talked about your intimate interaction with the angel- you knew that he was able to see fragments of what was happening through the shared subconsciousness, and if he tried, he could even share consciousness now given that the angel would not resist.
Either Seonghwa did not mind, which was unlikely, or for once, he had nothing to say, which was odd. He always had something to say about every situation, and his silence was louder than ever.
However, his behaviour was the same- in fact, he had grown more understanding in the past few days. Understanding of his situation, of the lack of control he had over his own body. Understanding that you were still trying to find ways to get the angel out of his body, contacting every demon summoner and going to dangerous places with him to learn more about the dark arts. You would never tell a soul that you were doing this for an angel.
You had also started to look into the history of angels, and while the angel himself didn’t share much about his realm- sworn to secrecy, perhaps- he guided you anyway. He was able to confirm or deny whatever you read about angels.
You came across his real name in one of the books and learned that he was an angel of fire- while he was not an archangel, he was considered to be one of the angels with their own conscience, which meant that he was capable of sin. You were confused about that topic so the angel silently turned the pages of your book until you were at the section of ‘Fallen Angels’.
That day, the angel wished to go out and fly, so you took him to the mountains instead where you sat on the edge of a rock and watched the world below. That’s when you asked him if there really was good and evil in every human.
“Humans are not inherently good, but humans lack the desire to sin when they are younger. As they grow older in their intellect, the desire to sin becomes something appealing to them. The more a person sins, the more evil they become until the goodness in their heart is nowhere to be found.”
“Do you think there’s any good in Seonghwa’s heart?” You asked and the angel looked at you. Dressed like Seonghwa in a fur coat with his hair twisted back and tied, you almost thought it was Seonghwa himself sitting beside you.
“Do you believe there is good in this human’s heart?” The angel questioned.
“Maybe,” you pouted.
“Does it matter to you if there is?”
“If it mattered, I would have left long ago,” you admitted and the angel nodded.
“I cannot say if there is good in this heart, but there was something that pulled me to him instead of you, when I was going to possess you. Maybe the evil inside me resonated with his nature.”
“But you’re an angel,” you looked at him. “You’re not evil.”
“There is the desire in me to sin, therefore I am capable of being evil,” the angel responded. “I feel as if I am sinning even now. Sitting with a human, stuck inside one, unable to perform my duties…”
“Do you hate being evil so much? If this is what evil is to you?”
The angel did not answer your question. And it got you thinking that maybe, there was a goodness inside Seonghwa that created the space for the angel. If that was the case, there was evil inside the angel too. Maybe, this was the true meaning of balance- a human too evil, and an angel too good, yet both containing a little kernel of pureness and darkness in their hearts- both coexisting inside one body.
But if being human was what encompassed the idea of being evil for an angel, this angel sure was enjoying the most mundane experiences. He was no longer opposed to trying out new things- a smoke, which had him coughing his lungs out later, cotton candy from the stall because it looked like clouds (Seonghwa was not pleased about that, claiming it left an aftertaste in his mouth), and food. Food of all kinds because apparently, the human had not been enjoying eating lately.
The angel’s curiosity wasn’t satiated with just that. You almost felt as if you were teenagers again and going on dates. From picking flowers in gardens to learning how to ride a bike. You made sure all your outings were away from the eyes of the staff or anyone who could recognise you, because you were sure no one would like the most notorious mafia leader in the town wiping dust off the petals of flowers or screaming like a banshee before falling down from the bicycle unceremoniously.
The angel- Hwa- was laughing like a human and it warmed your heart because Seonghwa had never been able to laugh like that. His laugh was pure and unrestrained, something humans usually wished for. His eyes sparkled as he observed the human world, watching and learning the concept of a family, of friends, of lovers. You could only wish Seonghwa was learning something along with the angel too.
While the angel started growing closer to you, the human started growing distant. Whenever Seonghwa took control of his body, he would busy himself with work and not correspond with you much- on anything. It would be up to you to update him of the recent developments, or learnings, or whatever you wished to tell him- he seemed the most uninterested. He didn’t care anymore if you wanted to talk, keep him under your surveillance or leave him alone. It was almost as if he had sworn himself to the silent treatment.
This wasn’t the first time he behaved that way, but it was different this time. Whenever you did something wrong or made any sort of mistake, it was a given that Seonghwa was going to give you the cold shoulder for at least a couple of weeks. You could try to make him give in- bribe him with something that he could not resist (the latest Lego usually did the trick- he may be the mafia boss but he loved his legos) or treat him to something nice. That usually solved the matter, but each time you were not allowed to defend yourself. Sure, he would hear you out occasionally, but he would rarely ever be convinced.
This time was different. While he did not consciously push you away, his behaviour was doing nothing to help you. It was getting harder for you to not look forward to Hwa taking over- at least he didn’t look at you with contempt. Something was off about Seonghwa, and you were trying to ask him what was bothering him so much- he refused to meet eyes with you or converse with you properly and you knew no bribery could resolve this.
“Have we dispatched the first batch of drugs to Assemblyman Hwang?”
“We have, it’s written there,” you pointed at his tab and he hummed, dodging your question once again. You decided to change the topic.
“Do you think we should try something like exorcism? An angelic version of it? The theory doesn’t sound bad, does it?”
“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “Whatever you feel like.”
You stared at him- he was trying so hard to act normal. This wasn’t going to work.
“Are there any more documents to sign? My fingers are starting to hurt- you know how I was in the lab all day working with specimens-”
“So?” Seonghwa dropped the pen and finally looked at you, eyes cold enough to send a shiver along your spine. “Do you want the angel to take over and worship your hands again?”
You scoffed in disbelief, wondering if that was a joke. When he went back to marking notes, you tapped on the table to get his attention.
“Say that again,” you challenged.
“We all know how much you crave affection,” Seonghwa muttered. “Good thing the angel is willing to show you some, at least.”
Unbelievable. This was what was bothering him?
“I asked you time and time again to tell me if something was bothering you- why did you keep your feelings bottled up only to stab me with your words now?” You asked. “You think I enjoy the fact that you’re sharing your body with an angel? Forget about what the angel does, you think I really want you to disappear?”
“It sure feels like that sometimes. You’re doing well without me, aren’t you?” Seonghwa scoffed.
You felt blood rush to your head, making your vision go red for a moment. Rage.
“I’m cooperating with the angel, Seonghwa. I’m playing along with anything the angel wants so you don’t have to suffer, you miserable, miserable bastard. I’m doing all of this so that the angel shares consciousness with you and does not mess up your business- or would you rather have the angel taking over and actively fighting back? Fuck you,” you spat, throwing your own pen across the table which he barely caught.
Not a hint of remorse in those eyes, though his little smirk had disappeared.
“You’ve always sheltered me all your life,” you got up, lowering your voice and this time, guilt did flash in his eyes for a mere second. “You’ve made sure I had no one except you, and you made sure my eyes only found you- that I only looked at you. So forgive me, Seonghwa, if you finally look back for once and I still find my defences crumbling when it isn’t even you.”
With that, you turned to pick up your belongings and leave-
And when you heard the familiar sigh that marked the angel taking over, you froze.
Had Hwa perhaps heard that? All of that?
You cautiously looked at him, finding his eyes filled with hurt. He almost looked grieved.
“Hwa-”
“Stop,” the angel raised his hand in the air, his voice dripping with sadness. “Not another word-”
“No, listen-”
“I know what I mean to you now,” Hwa said with a restrained voice as if still struggling to accept what he had heard. “There is nothing more that you can offer me.”
“I only said all of that because of Seonghwa,” you explained gently. “I did not mean that-”
“Yeah, Seonghwa heard that,” the angel said, shutting his eyes. “The damage has been done, human. To both of us.”
“Hwa, angel,” you dropped your stuff and took a few steps towards him but he left the room, leaving you regretting every word that you had said. Your eyes welled with tears and you took a few deep breaths, the tight feeling in your throat growing with each passing second.
You needed to find him- Hwa.
You looked in Seonghwa’s room first, but he wasn’t there. You wondered if he went to the pool and on your way there, you searched the rooms, asking the few staff members who were present if they had seen their boss around. None of them had.
And when you found the pool empty, you sank to the ground and buried your face between your knees, letting out choked sobs- it had been years since you had cried. You were not sure if you were crying because of Seonghwa, or Hwa, or just everything-
But it looked like you would be filling the pool with your tears tonight.
You cried until there were no more tears left, until your clothes were soaked. You sobbed until your throat felt raw, your nails leaving dents in your skin where you dug them in your palm. You silently cried until you heard the familiar footsteps, and it was almost surprising how that triggered a fresh stream of tears.
Was that Seonghwa? Or was that the wretched angel who had taken over your mind and soul? It didn’t matter anymore-
“Why do you cry, my dear?”
The damned angel. You brought your knees closer in an attempt to hide your face, but it looked like the angel was not going to give up. He sat in front of you, taking your hands in his and making you flinch visibly. Hurt, he let go of them.
“What is the reason for your tears?” He asked gently. You took a deep breath, sneaking a peek and finding his eyes puffy as well.
“Don’t tell me that you cried and wasted your essence,” you muttered, making the angel shake his head in disbelief.
“I told you that the essence is of no use to you. I wiped every trace of it, don’t worry.”
You sighed, burying your head back between your knees. This time, when the angel hesitantly brushed his fingers against yours, you didn’t flinch away. However, he made no attempt to hold your hands either, only tracing the outlines of your fingers.
“I am sorry for my behaviour,” the angel said and you looked up at him. “I should have given you a chance to speak. I know humans say things they do not mean all the time- and if it is of any relief to you, your human Seonghwa did not mean to hurt you like that either.”
“It doesn’t matter,” you told him. “The damage has been done.”
The angel gave you a look. “You have a habit of throwing my words back at me.”
“It’s the truth, though,” you said, getting up and the angel followed. You wiped your face, tired. “I meant what I said. Every word of it. Yet…”
You looked sideways, biting your lips to keep more words from spilling. The angel looked at you expectantly.
“Seonghwa is not able to hear or see anything right now- I’ve pushed him back. So you can say what you want to me.”
You took a deep breath. “I’m not spending time with you because I’m scared of you, or scared of what you will do to Seonghwa. Yes, initially I was- of course I would be. I’m only a human and you’re a divine being. However… I don’t know, Hwa. I’ve always wanted Seonghwa to really look at me, to acknowledge me. And when you look at me, when you are with me… strangely, I find myself forgetting all about Seonghwa.”
“Is that the truth?” He asked cautiously and you nodded. You weren’t going to lie now.
“I’m exhausted. I don’t know what I want or what I’m doing, but I just want you to know that I like you. I’m not simply cooperating with you, I like spending time with you- just you, the angel who’s beginning to live like a human. I know I’m supposed to get you out of this body even if it means that you get hurt in the process, and frankly, I’m still searching for a way to get you out, but…”
“But?” The angel asked and you mustered the last bits of courage in you, for the final declaration- the one you were too afraid to admit and even more scared to say out loud.
“Tell me,” the angel beckoned, taking a step towards you. You let your eyes scan him- the body of Seonghwa, clad in a black shirt and slacks, yet not his demeanour. Seonghwa’s face, yet unlike any expressions he had worn. His messy curls falling on his face only made him look more human, and it hurt.
“I don’t want you to leave, angel,” you confessed with a short laugh, letting the angel wonder what that meant. You turned to leave- at least you could put distance between the two of you-
“Then stay. Make me stay,” the angel’s voice was firm, almost as commanding as Seonghwa’s, but authoritative in an entirely different manner. A request, a favour. A plea.
“You’re an angel,” you reminded him, your voice wavering. “You are supposed to be performing your duties, you are supposed to be righteous and not give in to sin.”
“Yet here I am,” he shrugged, smiling in defeat. “Falling from grace and finding pleasure in sin- if this is what sin is.”
“Can I really ask you to stay?” You held your breath.
“You could ask me to fall from the heavens, and I would. I think I have already fallen. And I’m afraid of what I will let myself do for you, so stay, please.”
This was an angel, ready to sink to his knees for you. Your breath quickened as you turned, your heart ready to burst from the sheer amount of emotions.
“Where’s Seonghwa?”
“Not anywhere near,” the angel confirmed, the two of you moving towards each other, the magnetic pull stronger than ever. Your arms wrapped around each other in a tight embrace, laughter bubbling out from the angel’s body and you soon joined- smiling in relief.
This was where you were meant to be. In his arms, feeling safe. Feeling loved.
You broke apart, his hands resting on the dip of your waist. You brought your hands to wipe the remnants of his tears from his eyelids, shaking your head and he smiled guiltily. Your gaze stuck on his parted, plump lips and before the angel could express any doubts, you secured your confession by capturing his lips in a soft kiss, making the angel freeze.
You drew back and looked at him in confusion, anxiety starting to bubble in your throat once again- had you made a wrong move? However, the angel seemed as if he was in a daze, his eyes travelling all over your face.
“What do you think you are doing, love?” He asked, cupping your face and tucking your hair back, not giving you a second to respond as he kissed your forehead sweetly, moving to pepper kisses all over your face, sometimes letting his lips linger as if he was relishing the feel of his lips against your skin. You fisted his shirt and raised your face right when he leaned down, your lips colliding in a passionate, slow kiss that soon started feeling heated as you moved your mouths in tandem with each other, pulling each other impossibly closer.
You broke apart for breath but it looked like the angel was not planning to let you go. He sucked at your lower lip and you welcomed him with an open mouthed kiss, making the angel lose his footing and take a few steps back, your laughter and breaths mingling. You grinned, leaping in his arms and making him back away another few steps as he struggled to maintain balance while kissing you at the same time-
And due to his own fault, forgetting there was a pool full of water behind, he let the force of your kiss physically push him back until there was no ground under his feet and he clutched at you, both of you yelping as you fell in the cool water.
You almost swallowed some but managed to find your way up, laughing helplessly at the state of you two- absolutely drenched. The angel swiped his hair back and you let your eyes roam all over his upper body, the fabric of his shirt clinging to the muscles that Seonghwa had worked hard to build. For a moment, a tiny moment, you remembered Seonghwa but any thoughts of him went out of your head when you spotted Hwa scan your body with a searing gaze that stuck on the way your clothes clung to you.
“Like what you see?” You teased. The angel licked his lips in response, swimming closer and wrapping his arms around your waist, bringing your bodies flush against each other. You breathed heavily, letting his shoulders act as a brace as you lifted your body and captured his lips in a wet kiss, tasting water and kissing him as if he was meant to quench your thirst. You made out for what seemed like hours, his hands travelling all over your body, alternating from kissing your lips to feasting on your neck, his groans and moans fuelling you, your hands and arms singed in various spots, even nicked at places.
“Oh, angel,” you whispered against his ears, sucking at his earlobe. “They might clip your wings for this.”
“I do not need to fly if I am with you,” he declared, cupping your face and making you lock eyes with him. “How did you entrap me with that demonic heart of yours, human?”
All you could do was smile devilishly in response. “Maybe you have craved darkness all your life.”
“Perhaps,” he kissed your lips sweetly. “If this is what darkness is… I wish I will never see the light again.”
“Shut up,” you laughed, hugging him tightly.
Angel. Your angel. The light in your dark life.
He kissed the cuts and burns on your arms, preparing you to get hurt for him again. A pain that you were starting to get addicted to.

Seonghwa had never had to apologise for a thing in his life.
Every decision he made came with consequences and he might harbour regrets but he would never bow down in front of someone and apologise. The other parties involved would just have to make peace with that.
He did not believe in the idea of apologising, even when time and time again he caused you hurt or discomfort and you demanded that he show some remorse to make things better. He preferred to let the tension die down instead and let your defences lower until you would forget that he wronged you in the first place. You only had him, so where would you go if you broke things off with him?
However, as Seonghwa got a look at himself through the reflection of the mirror-engraved wall of Assemblyman Hwang’s office, he shut his eyes for a moment and saw red. He willed himself to maintain his composure and smiled at the Assemblyman.
No wonder the man wasn’t taking him seriously.
“- rest assured, we’ll do our best to keep this inside the underworld channels and not let any scandals surface, so you can keep on providing us with the goods, okay?” the man said, pouring red wine for the both of them while Seonghwa clenched and unclenched his fists. “I mean, I know we almost messed up but we were quick to clean it up-”
“If another mess-up happens,” Seonghwa started in a low voice, making the middle-aged man frown, “Not only will I retract and clean up your mess, but I will make sure to wipe all evidence. And that, of course, includes all consumers. You understand that, right?”
Seonghwa took a sip of the red wine, watching the politician fidget with his clothes, a nervous laugh escaping his mouth. “Of course!”
Seonghwa set the glass on the table. “It’s a dark world we live in. Gotta make sure it doesn’t get any darker, yeah?”
The politician, who always rambled about eradicating darkness from the world in his campaigns, grimaced at the mockery of his slogan. Seonghwa got up and left the room, hiding his face with his fur coat as much as he could.
Once inside the privacy of his car, he glared at the driver who squirmed but got the message. Seonghwa slumped back and wiped at his left cheek where the very vivid and recognisable red kiss mark was printed.
He was going to kill you for making a fool of him.
It was his fault- the driver had tried to warn him with a ‘Um, sir… you might want to freshen up before the meeting’. Thinking that the driver was just suggesting that because he was meant to meet a politician, Seonghwa told him that there was no need. He did not need to look anything else than the crazy man that he was. His appearance was crucial in making first impressions, and with this rough look, he wanted to show the politician just who he was dealing with. He had some points to get across.
However, the kiss mark on his cheek watered down that roughness wantonly. No wonder the politician had been smirking for the entire duration of the meeting.
Seonghwa sighed deeply. Again, it was his fault, ultimately. He never apologised for the argument you both had, and after regaining consciousness and finding himself under covers with you, snuggled way too close for his liking, he waited until you got up. He did not like the way your expressions darkened when you realised it was not the angel anymore.
You simply informed him that the angel and you had a talk, and he had decided to block Seonghwa from watching his consciousness. Seonghwa and you got into an argument again where he wondered if you were trying to do something behind his back- an assumption he immediately regretted making- and you told him that the only time Hwa would be blocking Seonghwa would be when you and Hwa had something ‘personal’ going on; nothing regarding Seonghwa and his state- or his business, even. Seonghwa tried to probe in hopes of getting an answer as to what ‘personal’ entailed but you didn’t give in.
And it seemed like he got his answer anyway. While the angel was consciously trying to block him at times, he saw the way you looked at Hwa very well. You used to look at him like this before, eyes wide and expectant, something like affection dripping from them. And now you had found someone else-
Except this was also Seonghwa, technically. One body, one mind, but two different souls.
He just needed to find out if you were serious about this- the angel inside his body was going to leave one day. If you were doing this just to piss Seonghwa off… it was working, but you did not need to go to such extents.
He did not want you to go to such an extent. He did not want to carry your kiss marks just anywhere- those things were meant to stay in the privacy of his house, right? He did not want to wake up with you in his arms anymore, without any memories of how you got there in the first place. He was supposed to be the one who tucked you in bed- only him. He did not want to hear the echoes of your laughter in his subconsciousness- he did not want you to laugh like that in front of just anyone. He did not want his lips to hold the whisper of your name or the taste of your skin- no one could touch you like that.
He was going to kill you. For sure. But first, he was going to block the angel out of his mind.
Seonghwa wasn’t sure how that would work, but he tried his best to focus on what was here and what was real instead of the being inside his head. Once he arrived at your lab where he was supposed to pick you up and take you home, he asked the driver to stay, opting to find you himself. The lab was a nice place to get rid of you- he wouldn’t need to clean the mess. Your own people would clean that up for you, just like they had always wiped the evidence of your sins.
At the sight of your tired figure making a chart on the wall with the progress of your ‘angelic expulsion’ discoveries, all his resolve crumbled.
You had a habit of making charts and calculating probabilities to visualise your learnings- whether it be about your scientific data, theoretical data or mundane things- would Seonghwa be able to kill the rival gang’s leader? Probability– 89 percent. Factors– temper, first and foremost, which affects his strategy and attack. Accounts for 11 percent though the figure may vary on how his day went. Factors– me. Am I in danger? If I am, the probability of winning increases exponentially because he won’t let a fly hurt me. If I am not… does it decrease his willpower? Check-
Seonghwa found himself smiling at the memory- you were making this effort- for him, right? Despite everything, you were trying to get the angel out of his body so he could leave you both alone, right?
You caught Seonghwa staring at you from the window and beckoned him to come inside. He entered with a huff and you frowned at his cold stance.
“What? Did the meeting not end well?” You asked.
“It went well, but it could have gone better were it not for-” Seonghwa pointed at his cheek and it took a moment to click.
“Oh,” you grinned. “Did I forget to wipe that? My bad-”
Seonghwa walked in front of you but you did not move. He peered down at you, watching you with a threatening gaze. It would have worked on others, but it didn’t work on you- not anymore.
“Have you made it your life’s mission to get back at me? This is playing dirty, Doctor.”
“Oh, so I’m ‘Doctor’ now, eh? Keeping it professional this time?” You narrowed your eyes. “Honestly, I forgot to wipe that-”
“You can’t tell me that wasn’t deliberately placed there,” Seonghwa countered.
“It was deliberately placed. Just not for you,” you patted his chest before turning away, wanting to get away from him but he grabbed your wrist and brought you right back where you were- even closer this time.
“This is not the first time, though,” Seonghwa smiled dangerously, fixing your glasses for you and tucking your hair back. “It’s a repeated offence, darling.”
It was. You were purposely trying to mess with Seonghwa, that was partly true. From making the angel try Seonghwa’s least favourite drink just before he was about to switch so there would be an aftertaste in Seonghwa’s mouth, to messing up with his appearance or clothes. Seonghwa’s patience was running out for all the right reasons.
“Hmm, well,” you tried not to squirm under his gaze. “I’m guilty.”
“I came here planning to kill you for once and all,” Seonghwa admitted, cocking his head and watching his finger trail down the curves of your face. This wasn’t the first time you had heard this phrase, but something told you that he might actually have been considering it. “But it looks like you are making some effort. Progress, even?”
“Ah, this?” You gulped, looking at the board. “Yeah, I think I’m onto something- but there’s a catch, and… I’ll have to talk with Hwa to make sure this doesn’t end bad for any of you-”
“For any of us?” Seonghwa frowned. “You’re only supposed to care about how it ends for me. That being is an angel, he’ll make it-”
“But I want him to make it out safely,” you interrupted, trying to get a point across but Seonghwa seemed too frustrated to process it. “It would be in our best interests if the angel leaves safely-”
“Your best interest,” Seonghwa pointed his finger at you, giving in and huffing. “Not mine. It was never about me, was it?”
“You’re right, not everything is about you. Just listen to me for once, you fool,” you scolded, making him sit on a stool so you could meet his eyes properly and hopefully assert some authority. “Suppose the angel somehow gets hurt or dies. That’s going to be the end of your empire- a horrible, miserable end. We’re lucky this angel got stuck inside you and all his rage dissipated because you’re too stubborn to let the angel take control. You understand?”
“I understand everything,” Seonghwa said calmly. “I just don’t understand why you care about the angel- what is he to you, y/n?”
What was Hwa to you?
The angel who looked past the sins that covered the entirety of your heart, scratched through the darkness to find a home in your heart. The angel that burned you and hurt you with his love, shed tears for you and healed you only to put you through the pain of loving him again. The angel that wanted you to release him from the clutches of the demon that Seonghwa was, yet wished to stay and give up who he was so he could be with you.
If someone would hear that out loud, they would laugh in disbelief, but you had never craved something good and pure all your life until you met Hwa. You were content in the darkness next to Seonghwa, were you not?
“Cat got your tongue?” Seonghwa asked and you shook your head, but there was nothing else left to say. He asked you to join him in the car and you followed after a few moments with your belongings, the ride home awfully silent.
That night, you did not join him in his room. You stayed in yours, darkness swallowing your room and you. Perhaps, if you stared long enough into the distance, you would become one with the dark.
However, a few hours and a soft knock later, you were joined by your doom and your salvation- only you did not know which one it was thanks to the lack of light in the room. The figure plopped down next to you on the floor with a heavy sigh, his shoulders brushing with yours and you both sat in utter silence.
When his fingers brushed with yours, you almost thought it was Hwa- he must have heard your conversation, must want answers. But when he wrapped your hand in his and squeezed it with a promise, you knew it wasn’t the angel.
It was the demon- and you were no longer sure if he was your doom or your salvation.
“This isn’t a sorry attempt at an apology, is it, Seonghwa?” You asked and you could almost hear him smile.
“I’ll be dead before you hear those words out of my mouth. You know that,” he said and you squeezed his hand back.
A few moments of silence passed, thick with confusion and tension. You caved in and asked, “What’s going on in your head?”
“I don’t know, but the angel is asleep for once,” Seonghwa told you. “It almost feels like I’m back to who I was, except… even when the angel is asleep, I’m carrying remnants of him.”
“What does that mean?”
Seonghwa squeezed your hand in answer- this. This was unusual- sure, there was a certain extent of physical ‘affection’ between you two, if it could even be called affection. It was reserved for teasing, and in rare cases, support.
“I don’t know why I’m here, but I am, and I don’t want to leave.”
“You love me,” you teased and he laughed a bit, but when he did not deny that, your smile fell- and for once, you were glad it was so dark.
“You’re incapable of love, Seonghwa. I think something in you broke when you loved your other half only to let him go so soon.”
His brother- not in the biological sense, but a family nonetheless. While you and Seonghwa were reflections of each other, Hongjoong and Seonghwa had been as similar as they were different. Hongjoong was the light, pulling Seonghwa out of his darkness while Seonghwa pulled him back in. And what a pair they made, balancing each other out in every sense yet never clashing, each rotten in their own twisted ways. It had been Hongjoong’s idea to leave the orphanage and mingle with the gangs- he did not leave with you two but found you just a week later, covered in soot and blood but smiling like a free spirit.
He had freed all the kids from the orphanage that destroyed you all- the people who clipped your wings when you hadn’t even learned to walk. He freed the kids, burned the building and all the guilty parties involved- at the mercy of luck. He got the kids to another orphanage through his connections-
And when Seonghwa asked him if you could use those kids to test your drugs on, Hongjoong had shaken his head in amusement but allowed it. It was ultimately bad luck that took his life only a few years later, right before Seonghwa’s career peaked.
He had not been the same since- and you understood. Hongjoong was your friend too- you grieved with him but he never moved on. He got their nickname tattooed on his neck so he was reminded every moment of what he lost.
“I think I’ve always been like this,” Seonghwa countered. “You just need an excuse to justify my behaviour towards you.”
Well. That was also partially true.
“But you’ve always accepted me as I am,” Seonghwa continued. “Some might think you actually love me, y/n.”
“But I do,” you admitted with a whisper. “I thought you knew that by now.”
“You love the whisper of good that you think I possess, dear,” Seonghwa corrected gently. “And once I got possessed by the angel, you found an excuse to love me without harbouring any guilt in that twisted heart of yours.”
If words could tear your heart apart- this was why the truth was so harsh. You took a shuddery breath and Seonghwa caressed your hand.
“You weren’t meant to live in the dark, y/n. I pulled you in and clung to you because you were the only one who saw me for who I am. Perhaps, even a better version of who I was, though I didn’t need that.”
“That’s arguable,” you laughed a bit. “I’ve got more blood on my hands than I can ever atone for. All for what? For science? For you?”
“You make it sound like it’s a bad thing,” he teased. You both chuckled at that, knowing very well how bad it was. You let a few moments pass, clutching on to his hand and he sensed the question before you said it out loud.
“Why did you come inside the room that day, Seonghwa? Why did you try to shield me from the angel?”
Silence. Only the sound of your breaths in the room.
“To protect you, of course,” Seonghwa answered. “Because you are my weapon, and I am your shield.”
Oh, him and his words.
“Isn’t it the other way round?” You pondered out loud. “You act like my weapon sometimes too-”
“Because,” he said, almost sounding as soft as the angel. “Because I saw the angel look at you the way only I am supposed to look at you. Did he take a look into your heart? Did he find it captivating- is that why he decided to possess you? I could not let the angel taint my warrior any further, so I shielded you.”
“Except the angel liked that,” you sighed in realisation. “The angel found your courage more attractive and got pulled towards you.
“Yet the angel continues to taint your body,” Seonghwa clasped your hand in his. “I don’t like that. I don’t like it at all.”
Silence. The sound of your heart beats.
“There is a pureness in your heart, Seonghwa,” you concluded. “And… there is a darkness in the angel’s heart- I’ve seen it. You balance each other just right. That is why the angel is stuck inside you, and I’m beginning to wonder if you two are beyond help now.”
Deafening silence this time.
“You will try, at least once. For me,” Seonghwa declared.
“I will try more than once for you, if it means it will work and you two will be separate entities, and-” you faltered, the whisper of the promise you made with Hwa ghosting on your lips.
If there was a guarantee that the angel would be able to stay in the human realm after leaving this body, you would perform whatever ritual, whatever sacrifice was required. But if there was none… you would not let him leave this body.
And now with Seonghwa right next to you, you wondered if the promise you made came from your heart. Hwa made you promise that and put the words between your lips, but did you mean it? Were you really going to keep that promise? Would you risk Seonghwa’s well-being for the angel?
Or were you just caught between two utterly selfish beings, holding the key to freedom for one or the other, or none?

When you got a call from Dr. Choi in the middle of the night, asking you to check the files he had sent you and come to the lab if possible, you were glad that Hwa had not taken over tonight and you were in your own room, which meant that you could sneak out without the angel’s knowledge.
And in the middle of tiptoeing through the hall did you realise-
Why were you wary of the angel now?
Sure, the angel had told you time and time again that you could not possibly make use of his essence- you could learn from its chemical composition if that pleased you, but he was adamant about you not experimenting with it. You understood why- working with demonic essence had been risky business and this time, there was the threat of the angel realm finding out about your work too.
However, one thing you had realised in the past few days was that the angel was a soldier at his very core. A soldier of god, bound to duty and true to his morals despite being in a human body and trying to live like one. There were still some boundaries the angel was unwilling to cross, and you were beginning to think if his righteousness was what was hindering you from making some groundbreaking discovery about the essence or if you were simply too trusting of him.
And then there was the fact that the angel wanted you- wanted to be with you. He spent all his conscious hours by your side, looking past your sins and loving you for the person that you were at the very core. He claimed that that person was beautiful and everything he could ever have desired for. He held you as if you were fragile, kissed you as if that was the last time he would get to do so, and loved you like no human ever could. He bowed in front of you and thanked you for seeing him as something other than the being that he was. His love was burning but it was pure.
His love was pure, but it was starting to cloud your judgement and you needed to recalibrate yourself every time you were alone.
So good timing from Dr. Choi too. You drove to the lab yourself and found him wide awake, which was odd because he liked his night sleep very much. You entered the office and asked, “I couldn’t read the notes because I decided to just come and visit. Brief me.”
“You asked me to extract and replicate any components of the angelic essence that is similar to the demonic essence, right?” Dr. Choi pulled a stool for you so you could examine the sample under the microscope. “Take a look at this.”
You gave him a sceptic look before examining the two samples in front of you. For a moment, you were confused before it clicked-
“These samples- they are existing independently, without being linked in any way to the essence as a whole, right?”
“Bingo,” Dr. Choi smiled proudly. “Almost killed myself during the extraction process but I’ve managed to get the non-volatile compounds out of this. Similar to the demonic essence, but still different enough in its properties that experimentation seems like worth giving a shot to.”
“Even if this does not have medicinal properties,” you started to read the notes, “It can still become a different type of drug.”
“A new line of drugs- that’s the least that can come out of this. As for the medical side, we can always keep researching, right?”
“Seonghwa’s gonna be so pleased to hear this news-”
But Hwa.
“The angel won’t be,” Dr. Choi said out loud for you and you pursed your lips. While the doctor was not aware of the shift in your relationship with the angel, he knew very well how adamant the angel had been in not letting you conduct experimentation with his essence. “Does the angel need to know about this?”
“I mean… we could conduct our experimentation in secret. According to him, we might be under threat if we let the essence be consumed as a drug of any sort. Something about how it becomes a marker for the angels. But if we’re just experimenting and erasing any evidence of human consumption simultaneously… that shouldn't be a problem, right?”
“And technically, even if we are found by the angels or whatever, we just… die. Poof. We’re used to living under those conditions anyway- do or die.”
You shared a grin with the doctor, but could you really give him and yourself a go-ahead for human experimentation with angelic essence?
The answer was simple- you could, and you can. This was your decision, and if it were not for the angel interfering with your work, you wouldn’t even be so cautious about making your decisions. This was not you. Were you scared of the angel’s wrath? Sure. You were scared of Seonghwa’s wrath too, it wouldn’t be any different.
But this- this was your realm, and you set the rules here. No one- not Seonghwa, and certainly not Hwa could interfere.
“Contact the orphanage and the prison. We’re getting busy in the coming days.”
~
People argued about what was something that made them feel alive. What sort of human experience was exciting enough to make them feel charged, have electricity buzzing through their veins and heighten their senses?
Some called it ‘the thrill’. They searched for it in the dark pits of this world, succumbing to their desires and inevitably losing themselves, becoming as hollow as shells. While searching for a way to feel alive, they would end up losing all purpose.
Others searched for it in human experiences- love, happiness and other emotions and feelings. They would go out seeking ‘adventure’, connecting with nature and finding meaning in the simplest things- in the creation, in everything around them, in life itself.
You, however, might be the odd one out. You stood at the threshold, tipping between ‘the thrill’ and ‘human experiences’ constantly and finding home at that tipping point. Some might argue that you were delusional and your means of feeling alive was something that deserved a special kind of judgement to have you sent into the deepest, darkest pits of hell. Was hell not simply a concept that humans created to delude themselves? Some found ‘the thrill’ in the hell they created for themselves, while the others used hell as an excuse to shape themselves into what they imagined a human should be.
Your means of feeling alive- you felt the most alive when you were working in your element, in your field. When you were playing with chemicals and experimenting on live subjects - or inspecting the dead. When you were performing practically, creating products and testing them, unhindered by any ethical or legal boundaries. In this lab, you were the creator, the judge and the creation. You were the action and the consequence. Here, you found both the thrill and the human experience. Here, you were truly alive.
“Another one passes,” you watched the vitals of one of your test subjects drop significantly- nothing that could be done about it. You had fed the young adult the angelic essence and though the timespan of the reaction towards it had lengthened a bit, he went into shock soon after. You tried saving the young adult but to no avail. “Another one bites the dust.”
“The things you say sometimes,” Dr. Choi shook his head in amusement, passing you a scalpel and you carefully made a vertical incision along the subject’s upper body, grimacing at the sight of the discoloured blood. “Shit, that’s just like what happened with the demonic essence.”
“Except we’re using the same quantity- that means the angelic essence might be stronger than the demonic one. We need to dilute it further,” you decided and he agreed, continuing with the inspection of the internal organs which appeared almost burnt.
You had been spending more time in the lab in the past few days especially at night to start testing how practical an angelic drug would be. Seonghwa was aware of your recent occupation and was also a little proud of how driven you were this time. He made sure the angel would not look into his memory too much and you both decided to keep the conversation about this topic to a minimum. Seonghwa was also taking over at night time more so he could get proper sleep, he claimed, although you wondered if it was so you could have more time working in the lab.
While the angel wondered if it was because Seonghwa wanted him to stay away from you.
Hwa had no idea of the recent developments in the lab and was only aware that you had contacted the summoner from the ritual that chained him to Seonghwa and were preparing to try another ritual, currently researching if it would be safe for the both of them. He thought that was what you were busy with during the day and was wondering if that was what occupied your thoughts when you were with him.
And if the angel was a little honest with himself… he was a little scared of what you felt for Seonghwa.
He understood that Seonghwa was the only person in your life from the beginning, and your bond with him was something irreplaceable. He also tried to be understanding when Seonghwa started blocking his memories and consciousness actively- if the angel could do that to him, so could he. The angel had no right to complain anymore. However… what did the two of you do when the angel was out of the picture?
Nothing, was the answer. You would work in your respective spaces, sometimes chat about something or anything. On rare occasions when one of you was feeling sentimental, you would find the other and share comfortable silence or tease each other. That was it.
However, the angel may be oblivious to some things but he was no fool, nor was he blind. Seonghwa did feel something for you that went beyond what the word ‘love’ encompassed, and if the angel was really honest with himself, that was what he was scared of.
So at the first opportunity when Seonghwa’s defences lowered just as he was about to fall asleep, the angel violated their recent agreement and took over forcefully.
Hwa looked around, expecting to find you in the room- weren’t you supposed to keep watch on both of them? Or had you gone to your room to rest?
The angel found himself shrugging on a robe over the black tank top that he was wearing before exiting Seonghwa’s room and going towards yours. He knocked softly and opened the door, worried about waking you up if you were asleep, but he found the room empty and your usual belongings gone. So you were not home.
And that meant you had to be at the lab. There was no place else you could be- even your car was not in the garage.
So the angel found himself outside the lab, sensing something off about the air even before he entered. He found the lab room where you usually worked with Dr. Choi empty, your belongings dispersed around the room. So where were you?
A warning song- similar to the one he used to sing to the humans who needed a little reminder of how small and insignificant they really were in this world- started sounding in his head. The angel wasn’t sure if he was singing it or if it was being sung for him.
He got his answer when he found you in the dark basement, the stench of blood and something rotten filling his nostrils. He froze at the sight of you- you were beautiful, lit by the dim white overhead light, but so, so tainted with blood and sin. The dead bodies all around you… the humans that were alive but silently begging to be killed. Your eyes, sparkling as you looked around, blood splattered across your scrubs. The angel looked around and his heart sank as realisation hit him-
You were experimenting with the angelic essence.
The angel saw red before his eyes before he knocked on the door. You looked up and waved at the man, your smile falling when you realised it was the angel in front of you.
“Uh… I’ll be back,” you told Dr. Choi who told you to take your time. You were nearly done anyway and you could go home soon.
You opened the door for the angel, his gaze unforgiving and suddenly, you were gripped with the same fear that you had felt when you first saw him.
“I forbade you to not experiment with the essence, but here you are.”
“Why are you here?” You asked and the angel raised a brow.
“Funny that this is the first thing you ask,” he commented, glancing inside the room through the slightly ajar door. “Y/n… I trusted you to keep your word.”
“Look,” you sighed, taking off your mask and cap. “I’m not doing this for the medicinal drug- you told me that it would be no use and I took your word for it.”
“Then what is this for?”
“For…” you contemplated making an excuse or lying but it was too late. “For the drugs, Hwa. I’m just trying to see if a compound extracted from the essence can be consumed like the ones from the demonic essence are-”
“I told you not to experiment!” The angel raised his voice and you shut your eyes, exhaling. “Why do you need to make a drug out of angelic essence? Do you have any idea of the consequences if this gets out-”
“I do,” you started moving towards another room and once in some privacy, you glared at him, his features seeming sharper with the faint lights casting shadows on his angry face.
“It’s not like I’m manufacturing the drug, Hwa. We’re far from it- I’m only studying.”
“That is how you study?” The angel pointed towards the direction of the room and scoffed. “Killing humans as if their lives mean nothing?”
You narrowed your eyes at him, folding your arms. “You know who I am. I have blood on my hands- more blood than even Seonghwa has on his. You call him a rotten excuse of a human for who he is, right? Then I’m worse. I’m a demon, and you knew it, yet you chose to love me and hold my hands as if they were a holy relic.”
The angel’s eyes flashed with hurt- of course he knew.
“You are heartless,” he breathed out as if saying those words was hurting him. “I knew that. You are right, I knew who you were. I just thought…”
“That I would change?” You shook your head. “You thought that I would become a better person? Well, this is who I am, angel. This is what my life is. You asked me not to experiment with the essence, but you know that my heart’s deepest desire is to create more advanced drugs. You can’t stop me from doing anything to get there.”
“That is what my word means to you,” his expressions shifted from hurt to anger. “That is what my love means to you. You heartless devil. You and Seonghwa really were made for each other.”
“I may be heartless but you’re naive, and don’t think for a moment that you have any control over me, angel,” you spat the words, taking a few steps towards him for emphasis. “And you- you’re a liar. You told me that we could not get anywhere with the essence. You said you could not lie.”
The angel’s eyes almost glowed with the whirlwind of emotions that he was feeling, and your pointed finger in his face wasn’t making things better. He curled your finger back into your fist and held it in his hand, his touch physically burning you and you snatched your hand away with a yelp.
“Angels cannot lie, but they can hide the truth.”
A wave of anger washed over you and you looked at him in disbelief. “What other truths are you hiding from me? You know how to get out of this body, don’t you? Are you staying back on purpose? Are you not letting go of this body on purpose, Hwa?”
“You asked me to stay,” he smiled and you thought there was something sinister about his smile, especially as he started tucking your hair back and lightly caressing your face. “You think I am a liar, my love?”
You shook your head, nothing making sense anymore. “Just tell me if you know how to get out of this body without hurting Seonghwa.”
“I am neither lying nor hiding the truth about this. I do not know how to get out of this body.”
“Is that the complete truth?” You dared to ask and the angel didn’t answer, holding your hurt hand and saying his prayers before starting to kiss it wherever it was burned. Tears of frustration started stinging your eyes and you looked away from his burning gaze.
“Do you hate me?” The angel asked with a cautious voice and you did not respond.
It shifted something in the angel, perhaps indefinitely.
“Do not ever look away when I look at you,” he commanded, his voice settling in your bones and you felt as if you were almost compelled to meet his eyes. His face was void of expressions, gaze dark and he cupped your face, making you shut your eyes in pain when his touch started singing your skin but the angel did not care- he was far too gone in that moment. He moved closer, your bodies flush against each other and he trailed his lips along your forehead, peppering kisses along the way and then he kissed your wet lids, drawing back.
“Look at me,” he commanded again and you opened your eyes. You were frozen in place- not because you were scared, but because you simply could not believe that the angel was hurting you like this, his hands moving to your neck, wrists and any bare skin he could find, imprinting his touch in the form of light burns. He moved to kiss your cheek, licking the tears away and your breath quickened-
His love was pure, but this? This wasn’t who the angel was.
Or were you just now getting to see the true face of the angel?
As he continued to kiss your neck and leave more singes on your skin, your body responded almost automatically and you curled into his figure, shuddering. You recalled reading something about angels and fallen angels in a book– it said something about how the angels were just god’s warriors, hollow at their core, one of their wings marred with blood for eternity. You asked Hwa what really was the difference between an angel and a fallen angel at their very core, and he did not have an answer-
Was it because he was also someone like you, struggling to stand on the threshold between being an angel or becoming a fallen angel?
What sort of an angel would hurt their human like this?
And how did this angel go from crying because his touch burned you to purposely burning you? Maybe this was your fault too- you let his love burn and consume you. You were no better.
“I am violating the core of who I am in loving you,” the angel whispered in your ear, his hair tickling your cheekbone. “Do not take advantage of that… little bird.”
“Let me go,” you cupped his face, looking straight into his eyes, the name he called you finally giving you some clarity. “Let Seonghwa take over- please.”
“No,” he shook his head. “You can’t ask me to go now-”
“You’re hurting me,” you said and it was as if he could finally see the redness all over your skin. “Go, angel. Give me Seonghwa back.”
The angel’s eyes flickered with hurt, his eyes travelling all over the places that he burned you and it was as if he finally broke from his trance- he muttered a prayer and started peppering light kisses all over your face wherever his touch had burned you, his heart aching as he saw the fresh stream of tears roll down your face. Before he could do something about your neck or your hands, you drew away.
“Please, that’s enough for now,” you hardened your gaze. “We will talk later, when you are in your right mind. Let Seonghwa take over.”
“Oh, heavens above,” he sighed, ashamed of his actions and silently cursing himself. “I hurt you too much-”
“It’s-” you paused before you could finish saying the sentence.
It was not okay. You wouldn’t be telling him that it was okay to hurt you ever again.
Before you could say anything else, the angel groaned uncharacteristically and you watched as the shift happened, visible in the demeanour change, except-
Seonghwa took one look at you and almost lost his footing, struggling to stand as he clutched at the table. You reacted immediately, making him sit on a stool and asking him if he was alright, but he only held your hands with his own shaky ones and hid his face between them.
“Seonghwa?” Your voice came out in a small whisper- you had never seen him so weak. He wasn’t crying but he very well might have been with the way his body was trembling and he was breathing unsteadily.
“Talk to me, Seonghwa,” you urged, “What’s wrong?”
“I…” he sighed heavily, looking up at you with tired eyes, the rage obvious behind them. “I fought for consciousness the moment I heard you cry. Who hurt you?”
You.
“It’s the angel, isn’t it?” He examined your hands, trembling with the intensity of emotions that he was feeling- perhaps, a leftover product from the angel too. “He hurt you.”
“Seonghwa,” you sat down in front of him, on your knees. “I’m okay. It’s going to be okay-”
“It’s not,” he shook his head adamantly. “You have no idea how much I’m struggling to not let the angel swallow me whole- I’m scared to think of what would have happened if the angel lost all control just now.”
You silently shook at the thought and he caressed your hands before continuing.
“Sometimes, it feels like if he takes over my consciousness, I will get lost in the dark pits of my own subconscious forever. But now… I realise why I’m sometimes hesitant to regain consciousness too. Because-”
He looked at your marred hands, caressing the burn marks on them lightly. “Do you know what I’m afraid of, y/n?”
You shook your head. “You’re afraid of nothing, as far as I know.”
Seonghwa smiled tiredly. “You’re right. I am afraid of nothing- I was afraid of nothing. But now… I’m afraid of seeing these burn marks on your skin whenever I wake up. How could you let him hurt you like this? You were supposed to be my warrior.”
“And you were supposed to be my shield,” you smiled sadly. “When you’re not there… I get burned.”
Seonghwa looked down, unable to meet your eyes. “This is what I’m afraid of. Hurting you and watching you love the very thing that hurts you. I’ve never been afraid of anything in my life but now… I’m afraid of losing you like this, y/n.”
Seonghwa. The most notorious mafia lord with no such thing as a ‘heart’ was afraid of losing you. Afraid of hurting you and seeing you hurt. Was this not what pure love was supposed to be, as opposed to your angel Hwa’s, who had better things to worry about?
You once asked the angel what he was scared of- other than the obvious. He talked about punishment. He was afraid of doing the very deeds that he would be sent to give punishment for. He was afraid of divine intervention- it was something that was scary to witness even as the audience. He was afraid of the future, of this world and its corrupt nature.
And the angel was afraid of loving you only to lose you.
Was Seonghwa’s love for you not purer than the angel’s love, then? Seonghwa would go to hell and back for you. Seonghwa bowed down only in front of you- you, who were a part of him, a part of his soul, he would sometimes call you.
The angel would only bow in front of god.
“You won’t lose me,” you promised though the words were of no comfort to both of you. Overcome by his emotions and some hard truths about what his future looked like, he brought your hands closer with his own shaky ones and pressed a promising kiss on both your hands. When you shifted to hold his hands instead and tried to make him look at you, he shut his eyes.
He could not look at you. Not now.
“Seonghwa,” you called, lifting yourself up a little so you could be at eye level. “Won’t you look at me?”
He only lowered his head further and you embraced him, sighing in relief when he shifted so he could hug you back properly. You let him come to terms with whatever he was feeling- he wasn’t going to talk about it but at least you could help him through it. You caressed his head without a fear of getting hurt for once, and he mustered up the courage to kiss you on the cheek.
You froze momentarily- Seonghwa rarely ever kissed you anywhere except the top of your head (that was his form of silently apologising). He nudged your cheek with the tip of his nose, his warm breath caressing your skin and you moved back slightly, making the mistake of looking him in the eyes-
You had asked for it, though. And now that he was looking at you, so close, you forgot how to breathe.
His hand went around the back of your neck, craning it so that he could make space for himself. He joined your foreheads, taking a deep breath.
“I won’t let the angel ever hurt you again. That’s a promise, okay?” He whispered and you nodded, your noses brushing against each other. He shut his eyes, brows furrowed in concentration as he deliberately nudged the tip of his nose with yours, your lips almost brushing in the process but the ghost of his lips remained on yours.
You whispered his name- a call, a plea, and he almost gave in, reminded of the memories of kissing you that he had seen flashes of from the angel’s memory- oh, how he wanted to kiss those lips himself. He felt a sharp pain in the head slice at him, a reprimand from the angel, a warning. Seonghwa brushed his lips against yours once again just to piss the angel off before drawing back with immense effort, kissing your forehead instead.
Your figure sagged in disappointment, tired from the yearning. You rested your head in his lap and gave yourself a few moments to recollect your thoughts.
You would not question Seonghwa and his actions anymore. You knew exactly what was happening. You knew what you had to do now.

There is always a moment in your life when it feels like you’ve had an awakening- as if all this time, you had been wearing the wrong pair of prescription glasses, or not wearing anything to help your blurred vision. So when you finally fix the problem, or realise what the root of all your troubles is, you start to see the world with a sudden clarity. Everything seems sharper, you can see the fine lines that you would otherwise have missed, and it’s like you have a new perspective to the world, even.
At least, that’s how you feel as you perch your reading glasses up your nose bridge, craning your neck to the right and flipping through the pages of a dark arts history book, recalling that you had read something in it which seemed to be connected to the current theory you were working on-
The theory being that angels were, in fact, worse liars than demons. Demons had a habit of being overtly honest- the only problem was that they were tricksters and spun their words such that it would be hard to unravel the truth from. Angels, however, were outright liars in the sense that they would conceal the truth and mislead you by not telling you the complete truth.
At least, that’s who Hwa was.
You spent the first couple of days trying not to have a mental breakdown and asking both Hwa and Seonghwa to leave you alone while you figured out your feelings for them but more importantly- just how much the angel had misled you? Was there anything he said about the angelic essence and its experimentation that was the complete truth? So far, there had been no warning siren ringing to inform you of some divine punishment. The heavens had not fallen over your head. You were just fine, and you were pretty sure that your experimenting was enough of a marker for the other angels. Why was no divine being interfering then?
And just what was the truth about the angel not knowing how to leave this body? Was he not leaving on purpose, a selfish angel who simply wanted to experience what it was like to not be a warrior of god? Was he staying because of you? Did he really love you or was that just an excuse to stay back in this world and delay going back to his own?
Because he did love you- oh, how he loved you. His love threatened to consume you whole with the way he held you like you were fragile and would break under his touch, contrasting with the way his touch would sometimes burn you when he was overwhelmed. His kisses were overflowing with emotions, a pure exhibit of his desire while holding a dark, almost sinister undertone to them when he would grip you tightly as if forgetting you were human. His whispers contained promises in a foreign language that you did not need to interpret- his vows were clear in his eyes and his possessive hold.
His love also threatened to break you in the way that a trapped bird was scared of stepping outside its cage for the first time. It was Hwa who made you experience what being normal would have felt like, were you not bound to Seonghwa and his drug business. You experienced so many of your firsts with Hwa and it was him who showed you what a normal life could have been like- you did so much with him that you could have never done with Seonghwa. Seonghwa had only given you limited freedom and while you did not hate that, you always wished to spread your wings and fly.
Maybe you flew too close to the sun. Perhaps, that’s why you were burning both from outside and from within. Maybe you were meant to love the moon but the moon liked to hide behind the clouds so you chose the next best thing. You had to fill the void in your heart somehow, and who better to fill it than a literal divine being that wore the skin of the man you had loved your whole life?
You were the only selfish one here, but selfishness had always been your greatest weapon and you would be sure to make use of it when the time would come. For now, you were coming to terms with how Hwa and Seonghwa were also selfish for their own reasons- Hwa, because he did not want to face the consequences of his actions and Seonghwa because he simply wanted to be free and whole again. He would probably kill you once he was- it didn’t feel like a bluff anymore.
However, there was also another hard truth about all of this, and that was that Hwa would give you up in a second for ‘the greater good’ or whatever moral code he needed to satisfy in order to please God and his fellow angels and get back to his realm if caught. You wanted to tell him that as an angel, perhaps he had sinned too much and if he ever went back, they would probably clip his wings and turn him into a fallen angel. You wanted to claw at him and make him stay with you forever simply because you could.
And the only reason you weren’t making him stay was because Seonghwa was the one who would burn down all of this world- the heavens above and hell below- for you. It might be out of love or out of a desire to prove that you were ultimately his, a dangerous obsession, but you were his priority. And you couldn’t help but wonder what things would have been like if he had kissed you that night in the lab and finally faced his feelings for you- though a part of you wondered if his feelings for you were partly because of the angel rubbing off on him.
So it was no wonder that you were losing your mind trying to put the feelings aside and work on finding a solution to this cursed turn of events. Now that you had an objective perspective (still arguable), you were realising that the divine punishment the angel was so afraid of might only be reserved for the angel himself. Perhaps, the human would be spared from it until it was their time to die and face judgement by their creator. It made sense because there were absolutely no instances of an angel summoning ever recorded.
Demons liked to be summoned, which was why there were countless records of it. Angels were summoned by force, though. You surely were not the first person in this world who had summoned an angel but you might make a difference if you recorded this summoning. That made you wonder- was it the recording part that was the problem or were the humans involved really wiped out if they interacted with angels?
If the latter was the case, you would have faced judgement a while ago- when you summoned the angel. Surely, other angels must have heard the call too. They would have intervened when their comrade got stuck inside a human or fell in love with one. Maybe the angels only interfered to make sure no traces were left of an angel summoning- that way, Hwa’s admission of the angelic essence leaving a trace and serving as a marker would be verified.
Whatever it was, the matter was in your hands now. So far, you had a few ideas- that you could use the angelic essence to lure the angels and face judgement- whatever it was, however it would be delivered. Chances were that only Hwa would have to face the consequences and while it broke your heart, you were sure the angels would at least wipe your memories to ensure another incident like this does not happen again. If your memories were wiped, you would not remember Hwa. That was probably the most risky route you could pick considering the angels could just kill you and Seonghwa and move on. You did not want to die just yet- at least not for Hwa.
Another idea was to try and attempt a reverse summoning ritual, which was a very theoretical concept with no specific details and no attempts recorded. For that, you needed an anchor in the realm that the being concerned was from, and you had no such anchor. Again, you could not risk involving another angel.
If you were the only one who could put an end to this, your resources were very limited. All you had was your drugs and your lab and-
Your train of thoughts was interrupted by a soft knock on the door and the door opened to reveal Seonghwa- as soon as you met the man’s curious eyes, you knew it was Hwa instead.
“You’ve been holed up in here for hours now,” his concerned voice said. “Come on, let’s get some fresh air.”
“Ahh, but I think I was almost there,” you straightened your back and stretched your arms, producing cracks. “Or not. Nothing makes sense.”
“That’s okay,” Hwa smiled. “Maybe some fresh air and a meal will help. When you get too focused on something, it’s good to reel back and change your environment.”
“You’re right, actually,” you got up, shutting your devices but letting the books and notes stay as they were. “I’ll join you after I freshen up.”
“Great- wear a coat. We’ll go eat something outside.”
“Someone is in a good mood today,” you eyed the angel with suspicion but he only raised his hands in the air, pressing his lips in a tight line.
“You know I’m still making it up to you. After what I did- I still feel ashamed.”
You frowned at that- you knew the angel was making an effort to be better. He had apologised until you got sick of it and warned him not to. He resorted to giving you space when you wanted but also trying to make you feel better- asking you before he touched you in any way, making sure you ate your meals and weren’t pushing yourself too hard. He could finally understand why you wanted him and Seonghwa to be two separate entities and for once, he was cooperating.
Another change you had noticed was that Hwa was starting to sound a lot like Seonghwa- in his speech, and often in his mannerism. It was unnerving but you were holding yourself back from complaining, focusing all your energy on finding the answer to this.
But for now, you supposed you could take a breather. You slipped on a black overcoat over your sweats and joined Hwa in the garage, deciding to get some ramen from the convenience store. You fell in step with him, walking down the dark streets of your posh society, lit by the full moon and the streetlights, and talking about what you had learned so far- specifically about demons. He was always willing to verify your facts on that subject.
On the way back, when he offered you his hand, you smiled and took it and he proceeded to tuck your hands in his pocket, making you shake your head.
“Have you been watching dramas, Hwa?”
“I was bored,” he went as far as to pout. “Those dramas are interesting. I’m learning a lot.”
“No wonder. You’ve been speaking casually,” you pointed out and he frowned.
“Have I?”
“Yeah, you sound like Seonghwa when he’s in a good mood,” you joked and he scoffed.
“I shall go back to the formal tone then. Perhaps you like that more?”
“I don’t mind either way,” you grinned. “Your formal tone makes you sound a little pompous, if I’m honest.”
“Noted,” he nodded in all seriousness and you squeezed his hand as you chuckled. He glanced at you with curiosity to voice a question that had been on the tip of his tongue all along, “Did you find something worthwhile today?”
You glanced back at him, gauging his expressions. “Not really. It’s too risky if we get a third party involved, whether it's another angel or humans.”
You didn’t miss how his shoulders slightly relaxed as if he had been tense all this time. He looked up at the sky, taking a deep breath. “If you want me to help, all you have to do is ask.”
“I know,” you swallowed the bitterness his words left in your mouth and covered it with a grateful smile- the trust he had broken in admitting that he had, in fact, lied to you had still not mended. You weren’t going to show a hint of doubt because you were scared of what Hwa would do once he learned that you were willing to let him go- even if that meant letting him go forever.
So for good measure, you stood on your tiptoes to peck his cheek, trying not to break into a grin when he let out a flustered sound. He quickly recovered from it and took it as his cue to wrap his arms around your waist and bring you in for a kiss, sweet and sure.
That was the easiest way to assure the angel that you weren’t planning something devious. There was an itch in your brain and you wanted to talk to Seonghwa before you would ever dare to attempt it. However, before that, you had to make sure the angel felt loved and safe with you- only then would he allow you to have some privacy with Seonghwa.
So you were glad the angel was still holding some guilt in his heart that was preventing him from having a heated session with you. You would rub it in his face by appearing scared or hesitant, sometimes succumbing to your own desires but keeping it restrained nonetheless- just like tonight. You had observed how the angel was especially demanding whenever you were researching on how to get Seonghwa back to normal.
Even now, as soon as you were back in your room, he was bringing your body flush to his to kiss you deeply. You had to admit that Hwa still made your knees weak and made you give in instantly, especially the way he was taking special care to not let you burn anymore. It still happened sometimes, but not like that night in the lab when he had lost control.
And it was ironically the angel’s glowing eyes that led you to your answer, a wave of understanding washing over you as the dots started to connect in your head. You zoned out as the angel finished healing your burns, his eyes going back to normal as he caught your gaze and raised his brow in question to your surprised expressions.
“Everything good?” He asked, caressing your cheek.
“Perfect,” you smiled, hoping it didn’t look like a smirk. “Everything is perfect.”
The angel patted your cheek, checking the time. “I should let Seonghwa take over soon. If you need me, I’ll be here, okay?”
“Of course,” you assured him. “I’m just gonna wrap this up and get some sleep. I think the lack of sleep is not helping me find answers.”
“That’s what I’ve been saying all along,” Hwa laughed and you played along until he left the room. Finally realising what Archimedes must have felt when he had his own eureka moment, you rushed towards your notes- not the research material, not the history and dark arts books but your notes from the lab placed safely in a locker.
It could work. Dr. Choi had already unintentionally worked out the logistics of it and was writing a paper on it while he worked to make his research stronger. He was thinking of possible titles and had been rambling about how he wanted to include the phrase ‘angels vs demons’ in it. You were surprised it didn’t click earlier.
You needed to tell Seonghwa- if he was willing to try it, you would reach out to Dr. Choi and work with him.
You collected yourself and went to Seonghwa’s room, standing outside with your heart pounding uncharacteristically, about to knock when he opened the door, sucking in a breath when he found you right in front of him.
“I was going to come to your room,” he scanned your face, frowning at the sombreness in your eyes. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s you, right? Seonghwa?” You asked cautiously and Seonghwa nodded thrice- a code to let you know that the angel was nowhere near. He let you inside and you shut the door, facing him.
“I think I’ve found the answer,” you told him in a whisper. “But it’s risky, and I’m scared to try it.”
Seonghwa rubbed his face, tiredness evident in the way his shoulders seemed to be slouching. His hand settled on his neck over the tattoo that was visible from the black pyjamas. “Every method is risky. What do you feel about this?”
“I don’t know,” you admitted. “It could work. It’s scientific this time, I’ll tell you,” you shared a cryptic look and he understood. “No third party involved.”
“Has the time finally come?” Seonghwa joked with a faint smile on his lips. “You always said you would love to make me a lab rat one day.”
Your lips quirked in amusement and you looked sideways. “Didn’t imagine it would be this serious. I imagined it to be a prank or something. Old me would be ecstatic to learn that I get to tie you to my stretcher.”
“How kinky,” he scoffed and you shot him a glare- this was serious for you and you knew he was trying to keep the mood light for you.
A moment of silence later, he asked, “What do I need to do?”
You leaned against the door, your hands tucked between your back and the door. Oh, how you wished you could hold him and tell him exactly what he needed to do. How you wished you could turn back time so you were back at the office insisting Seonghwa let you try angel summoning, only this time he tells you off. It was funny how meeting Hwa, the angel, was both something you never wanted to forget and something you wished you had never experienced.
It made your yearning for Seonghwa so much stronger. Perhaps, Seonghwa could feel it in the air- the words you refused to say, the actions you refused to make.
“Say something, y/n,” he furrowed his brows much like the angel yet so different, demanding. True to Seonghwa’s nature. “Don’t look at me like that.”
“Does it bother you when I look at you like that?” You asked.
There was a feeling in your gut, strange but so very familiar. Impending doom. A sign that you might never get a moment like this again. You always trust your gut, but actually listening to it was a different subject. No wonder you were here right now.
“Don’t avoid my question,” Seonghwa folded his arms but you shook your head, waiting for an answer anyway. Seonghwa took a deep breath, the small distance between your figures not helping with the lack of clarity in his head.
“Answer my question and I’ll answer yours,” you repeated a phrase you had often used on him, shooting a teasing smile in his direction before letting your eyes wander around the room- anywhere away from his eyes.
“Does it bother me when you look at me like that?” Seonghwa repeated your question, grabbing your attention. “Of course it does. You look at the angel like that-”
“I’ve only ever looked at you like that, Seonghwa,” you sighed heavily. “You were just too blind to notice until you watched me from someone else’s eyes.”
Seonghwa’s heart did break at your admission.
Having to cohabitate with another being- an angel, specifically, had made him realise quite a few things. In the beginning, it was along the lines of how he never wanted to be a ‘good’ person if the angel was the example of that. The angel was dark at its core, though it wasn’t the type of dark people used to describe humans. It was different- otherworldly and all-consuming. The angel was fighting his own demons, and Seonghwa was fine embracing his demons instead.
However, as time passed, his heart softened despite himself. It would be an excuse to say that the angel had rubbed off on him- his perspective had simply shifted because he saw you and the world from an almost omniscient point of view. While his values had not changed, he had learned the value of the people who cared for him- especially you, who always stuck with him even when he did his worst. He didn’t care if it was simply an obsession anymore- he had seen what obsession looked like through Hwa’s eyes.
Your feelings for him, and his for yours… it was something the angel could never have and Seonghwa was fucking glad about it. He may have let the angel stop him from confessing his love multiple times but if this was the last time he was going to hold you close… he would risk angering the angel.
“Answer my question,” Seonghwa asked, his voice uncharacteristically wavering. You smiled sadly.
“All you need to do, Seonghwa, is promise that you will try to fight and that you will win. That you will stay- for yourself, for the empire you have built… for the sacrifices you made and the people you lost on the way,” you paused, your gaze falling on his tattoo. “And for me. Because I’m your weapon and you are my shield, and I cannot navigate this world without your protection.”
“I thought you hated how protective I was,” Seonghwa’s lips started curling into a smile, his eyes twinkling with energy as he stepped closer. “I made you a warrior, y/n. If anything happens to me, I trust you to continue my legacy-”
“You made me a warrior, Seonghwa, but I’m tired of this battle,” you declared, an angry streak in your voice. “Nothing will happen to you. I- I will make sure of that. You just have to stay strong and fight.”
“Even if I’m afraid of the unknown?” Seonghwa inquired, placing his hands on your shoulders and caressing the bare skin of your neck.
“The Seonghwa I love isn’t afraid of the unknown,” you reminded him and he locked eyes with you. “He’s afraid of… what was it? Hurting me? Watching me love what hurts me-”
“Sweetheart,” Seonghwa warned, shaking his head but you laughed out loud, curling your hands around his wrists and holding his hands like he had held yours at the lab.
“Seeing burn marks on my hands?” You teased. “How sweet. Afraid of losing me- how romantic, Park Seonghwa.”
Seonghwa glared at you, clenching and unclenching his jaw. “Kind of regret saying that. If I had known you would hold that over me-”
“I’m holding that over you,” you gently interjected, “so you know that you won’t have to be afraid of anything when you come back.”
Seonghwa looked down at your linked hands, taking a few deep breaths and nodding slowly not only because you were right but also because he had learnt another lesson- that it was okay to love someone. Loving someone didn’t always result in losing them. After his friend Hongjoong’s death, he had grown so cold towards you, pushing you and his feelings for you away, tucking them in the deepest corner of his heart. He was lucky you never gave up on him and made him realise that loving someone wasn’t a weakness but a strength.
A reason for him to fight back against the angel. A real reason, not the materialistic ones- he could build an empire again if he had to, but he could not risk losing you.
“You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to me,” Seonghwa looked at you, watching your lips curl into a smirk. “You devil.”
“Yeah, well,” you took one step closer, looking up at him, daring him to say more. “You’re still here, so.”
Seonghwa stared at you challengingly, a smirk growing on his own lips as he crowded your personal space until your back was against the door. You didn’t shy away, the tension in the air so thick you could feel it caressing your skin along with Seonghwa’s fingers that danced against your collarbone, travelling up the slope of your neck to swipe at your parted lips, his gaze stuck right there.
“Don’t you ever get enough?” He finally asked what had been bothering him the most. How could you use him to satisfy yourself? Sure, maybe you liked the angel, but he would bet his life that it wasn’t the only reason.
“It isn’t you,” you simply answered. “It’s so different. I thought it’d be the same, but by then, it was too late, and now-”
Seonghwa put a finger on your lips to shush you- even though the angel was still dormant, he already knew what you were going to say.
And when you puckered your lips against his finger to kiss it, he wished the angel would die and never come back. He leaned in hurriedly, stopping right as your noses brushed, eliciting a gasp from your mouth.
“When are you doing it?” He asked, referring to your plan.
“Tonight,” you whispered in response, joining your foreheads and nudging his nose affectionately. “I can’t risk him finding out. Keep him at bay tonight, please.”
“If I don’t lose my mind,” Seonghwa whispered, brushing his lips against yours and tightening his grip around your waist. Craning your neck, he brought you in for the long overdue kiss, soft but strong, making your legs go weak and your arms go around his shoulders for support. He drew back to drink your expressions before diving right back in, this time unhurried but demanding, groaning with pleasure in between. When his tongue swiped your lips, you gladly opened your mouth for him, losing yourself in the overwhelming feelings of the love of your life finally caving in to you.
Not once did the angel cross your mind- not when Seonghwa kissed you softly, not when he held you like you would break, and certainly not when he let his desire fuel him as things heated up. You were soon shifted to the bed, Seonghwa promising you that he would make the most of tonight, apologising (for once) for not doing this earlier, holding on to your word when you assured him that you would somehow make this work and set him free.
You let his touch burn you in a way the angel’s had never- searing passion as opposed to a warning. You let your hands run through his hair without a worry, and let his hair tickle your bare skin as he shed the clothes off you. You let him obsess over you and lose control without the fear of getting hurt- yes, Seonghwa could hurt you in ways no one could but he would never hurt you like the angel had. Seonghwa let his desperation and emotions get the better of him tonight, feeling a sense of relief when he was finally one with you.
And only when you spotted the rays of the sun peak through the curtains, having spent all night in his arms, did you move away from his half asleep body to grab something. He peeked up and you smiled, snuggling into his body once again and sharing one last kiss, whispering confessions to each other. You hugged him after, letting your breathing synchronise with his and memorising the feeling.
And then you injected the tranquilliser into his neck, whispering sweet nothings and peppering kisses on his skin until he lost consciousness.

You had been with Seonghwa in the restricted section in the basement of your lab a few times.
Most of the time, he turned up there because he could not reach you- you had a habit of forgetting that time was an actual flowing thing and it did not stop still when you were in a certain headspace- which was experimenting with live subjects. He would watch you from the window, shaking his head at the monster he had created while his heart would simultaneously swell with pride. He would wait until you took a breather and knock on the window to get your attention.
A few times, you brought him to that section yourself, updating him on your progress. One thing you liked about Seonghwa was that he may not be the brains behind your drug production but he was fully involved in it, making note of whatever you needed and making sure you were safe here. He liked to be aware of whatever was going on as well.
However, never did you imagine that he would be your next test subject, tied to the stretcher and looking paler in the harsh white lights that lit up the room. He lay unconscious while you monitored his vitals and made sure the demonic essence being administered to him was not overpowering or harmful in any way other than expelling the angel.
You had a theory that the demonic essence could cancel every ‘impurity’ in the body to dominate as the only ‘impure’ or foreign object in the host. While working on this theory with Dr. Choi a few months ago, before you had ever summoned the angel, you had conducted an autopsy on your test subjects who had died because of the demonic drug. You noted that some of them who had underlying conditions and defects prior to overdose no longer had any defects in their body after death. It was as if the demonic drug had ‘healed’ them first before taking the spot for the sole cause of their death. A true parasitic drug, fighting for dominance to take over its host.
And if it were a demon against an angel… who would win?
You were hoping that the angel would be expelled from Seonghwa’s body, which would be the best outcome. You would quickly have to inject the angelic essence in Seonghwa’s body at that point to cancel the demonic essence- Dr. Choi and you had worked on it when you put Seonghwa in a comatose state, testing what amount of angelic essence was required to cancel out the demonic one.
In the worst case scenario though, one of them- or both- would die. According to Seonghwa, the angel was already eating away at his soul and it was a struggle for him to continue cohabitating in one body. The angel was powerful and stubborn. It wouldn’t give up so easily, so you would just have to pray that your plan would work and end well for all of you. This was your last and only resort.
Seonghwa’s body had started shaking a while ago, presumably when the battle between the angel and the demon began. You were constantly wiping sweat from his body and adjusting the drip, sometimes giving in and squeezing his hand as if to assure both Seonghwa and Hwa that you were here and that you were sorry for doing this to them. As more time passed, his body started to tremble fiercely and you tightened the clasps on his wrists and arms, not sure if they would be able to withhold.
With the damned book that brought the angel to your world resting against Seonghwa’s chest and the holy sword in one hand- tip soaked in wine but not ablaze- you started reading the section of the scripture that contained the angel’s name, Seonghwa’s eyes fluttering open when you repeated it for the third time.
“Hwa?” You asked cautiously, glancing at Dr. Choi who stood near you with the angelic essence vial in one hand and a lighter in the other. You squeezed his limp hand, making him look at you.
“Why did you call me?” He asked, tone as sombre as the first day he saw you. “What are you doing- what is happening?”
“You have to leave this body, angel,” you wiped the tear that rolled down his face. “Go back to your realm for now- just leave-”
You paused when he squeezed his eyes shut, your words eliciting a deep, pained groan out of his mouth. Dr. Choi recognised your signal and set the tip of the sword on fire and the two of you held its hilt, hoping the angel would not possess one of you if it exited the body. You checked the monitor- Seonghwa’s vitals were starting to drop which meant the demonic essence must be working with full force on his body now.
You took the angelic essence vial from the doctor and clutched it in your fist, moving to whisper in Seonghwa’s ear, calling Seonghwa’s name and reminding him of his promise- you have to come back. You have to fight back- you are my shield and I am your weapon, and I am fighting for you. I cannot navigate this world without your protection.
You did not know if it was Seonghwa or Hwa who turned his face so his lips met your cheeks, a confession and a promise tumbling from his mouth. You looked up to meet his eyes but he shut them and fell still.
Muttering a prayer to any deity who was listening, you poured the contents of the vial in Seonghwa’s mouth, Dr. Choi’s hand on your shoulder squeezing it reassuringly. The sound of your sniffles and the crackling of fire was the only sound in the room for a few minutes before Seonghwa sucked in a sharp breath and his eyes opened- unglowing.
“Seonghwa,” you breathed, holding your breath as you handed the sword to Dr. Choi and moved to cup his face, checking the vitals on the monitor before turning your full attention to him. He was already looking at you with a dazed look and you locked eyes with him, waiting for his touch to burn you as you caressed his hair, but nothing happened.
You were okay.
“Seonghwa?” You asked cautiously again. “It’s you, right? Tell me it’s you, please.”
Seonghwa gulped, his mouth awfully dry but he managed to move his head in a nod and the wave of exhaustion finally caught up to you, making your legs go weak as you slumped against his body, resting your head on his chest to catch your breath. Dr. Choi moved around and did the work, untying Seonghwa’s limbs and making sure he was responsive, taking some bloodwork and checking to see if there was anything amiss.
“There are still remainders of both the demonic essence and angelic essence in his body,” he said as he observed the blood. “But I think we’ve done what we could have. It will take a while for him to recover so we can continue to monitor him-”
“I’m fine,” Seonghwa insisted and you stifled a grin, looking up at him. “I’m done being the lab rat.”
Dr. Choi smiled. “Welcome back, Sir.”
Seonghwa shot a glare in his direction as he shifted into a sitting position, ignoring his chuckles and looking at you.
“What did you do?”
“Tried to expel the angel out of your body,” you linked your hands and he squeezed them. “It’s… happened, right? Can you feel him anywhere?”
“Not really,” he scratched the back of his neck, thinking. “This could have gone wrong.”
“Obviously. It could have gone very wrong,” you shuddered at the thought. “But I had to take a chance. Hwa was taking over your consciousness with each passing day, and as much as I loved the angel, I couldn’t let him do that to you.”
Seonghwa regarded your expressions, nodding. “And what if the angel ended up taking over?”
You pursed your lips and shrugged. “I think he would have probably killed me for hiding everything from him. I was prepared for that too-” you looked at your side where the sword now stood in the bucket, the fire doused.
“Anyways, the important thing is that you’re back, Seonghwa,” you smiled wholeheartedly. “Let’s get you out of here.”
Seonghwa smiled back though it didn’t quite meet his eyes. He kissed the back of your hand before letting you go, watching your body move with a newfound energy as you wrapped up everything in the lab, asking Dr. Choi to get some rest as well.
Once back at home, having washed up and eaten a hearty meal, you took Seonghwa to his room and held his hands, locking eyes with him.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” You asked, scanning his face.
“Just tired, and you know how there’s still the after effects,” Seonghwa muttered, sighing. “I’ll be fine.”
“If you’re angry at me, now is the time to take it out,” you teased. “Though you knew very well what you were getting into.”
“I’m not,” he scoffed, amused. “Well, I am but not because of this,” he corrected. “But I think I’ve learned to let the anger go now. There’s a reason for everything that happens, and for the decisions we make.”
You narrowed your eyes. “Looks like Hwa’s still inside you.”
“What?”
“There’s no way you said that,” you teased, “You don’t compromise to understand other people- you do what you want.”
“Yeah, well,” Seonghwa shrugged. “The angel must have rubbed off on me.”
You smiled and Seonghwa noted the weariness in your eyes. “Will you… miss the angel?”
“I will… of course I will,” you admitted, looking sideways. “I just hope he’s okay. Can you tell what happened to him? Did he get out or… did he get hurt?”
“He got hurt,” Seonghwa confirmed and you pressed your lips, taking a deep breath to keep the tears at bay. “I don’t think he made it, y/n. I can’t tell for sure right now, but it’s not looking good.”
You nodded, squeezing his hands and he moved to embrace you. There were no tears left to cry. You simply clutched onto him and let him calm you down. He let go with a kiss to your forehead.
“Everything will be okay,” he promised and you nodded.
Everything was going to be okay.

“Love, can you hand me the cinnamon powder?” Seonghwa asked, far too focused on the plating of his latest creation even though you were going to devour it in seconds. You told him exactly that as he sprinkled some on the pancakes, making sure the strawberries were set before drizzling chocolate over them.
“Perfect,” his eyes twinkled with the sort of gleam you used to see only when he was about to take someone’s life.
How the tables had turned.
“It’s just breakfast, Seonghwa, it doesn’t have to be that serious-”
“Shh,” he waved a hand in dismissal. “We need a good meal to be in good spirits. And then we can go and shed some blood- Assemblyman Hwang should not have used street gangs to try to expose our network.”
You shook your head, agreeing, but still amused as you watched him pour the freshly blended fruit juice into your glasses.
“Now eat,” he ordered and you bowed mockingly with a ‘yessir’ before you dived in.
The angel had definitely rubbed off on Seonghwa, because there was no other explanation to this. Soon after Seonghwa recovered, he was back to business, making new deals and expanding his network further as if he had some newfound energy- or perhaps, he was making up for the lost time. Whatever it was, you wouldn’t be complaining- you were simply glad that he was back.
Though he was a bit different. Gentler, yet still very Seonghwa with his demanding personality. He also picked up cooking, reminding you of your teenage days when he used to make whatever he could with whatever you had at disposal. He was always creative with his meals, but now, his creative freedom was almost surprising.
Park Seonghwa was back, but a changed man. Still insanely evil at the very core, still driven by his blood thirst and hunger for power. Maybe he had changed only where it concerned you- more welcoming towards you, more understanding of your actions, and so, so loving. His love was as gentle as the angel at times, and as fierce as Seonghwa’s devotion. Sometimes, you were reminded of Hwa- it was a given when they had worn the same skin.
But your Seonghwa was still very human. And that was all that mattered. His love did not burn you and he did not fear anyone.
You finished your meals and went to get ready to go out with him- he was letting you accompany him to his ‘little outings’ more and though he wasn’t getting his hands dirty most of the time, the lackeys doing that for him, he still liked going out in the field himself every once in a while. Today was one of those days and you went to your own room to arm yourself.
Seonghwa got ready first, waiting for you in the lobby, staring at the holy sword that was now a showpiece, perched on one of the walls. He felt almost compelled to trace the hilt of the sword, daring to touch the blade that was capable of harming angels, and with a little shriek he drew his hand back, the tips of his fingers an angry red, burned by the sword.
Seonghwa cursed under his breath, moving to the kitchen for some privacy before muttering the prayer he had said for aeons now, allowing his fingertips to heal. He caught his reflection on the glossy material of the fridge, his pupils glowing and he shut them, taking a few deep breaths to get his powers under control.
He heard the faint thumps of your footsteps as you came downstairs and he fixed his posture and his expressions to mimic Seonghwa before he stepped out of the kitchen, nodding in approval when you showed him your weapons before following you outside.
He let you call you by the name of the human that he was not, and he willingly played along, letting you think that your beloved human had defeated the angel when that was not the case at all. Your beloved human was gone.
Good and evil must coexist in order to survive. But sometimes, the good becomes the evil and the evil becomes the good- they were never meant to balance each other.
It was only a matter of which one would weigh more and tip the scale in its favour.
#the way i almost forgot to post 💀#seonghwa x reader#seonghwa angst#park seonghwa x reader#park seonghwa angst#seonghwa#park seonghwa#ateez#ateez x reader#ateez au#ateez fanfic#ateez fic#ateez angst#ateez scenarios#ateez imagines#ateez ff#ateez mafia au#not proofread so don't come at me
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Hi lovie!!! I love ur fics! I would love to see a Remus fic with an inexperienced gf! Not smut but like the convo before it like May be she's super anxious bc she's worried she won't make Remus feel good or like what if Remus hates the way she looks?? And Remus is reassuring her
thankkk youu for the request he’s so cute, 17+ just cause it’s a lil suggestive yanno
When Remus had asked you to stay the night through bleary eyes after the movie had ended, you hadn’t had the strength to say no. When he leaned in to kiss you, his knee nestled between your thighs, you knew you made the right decision.
His kisses were soft and breathless, growing more intense as you moved beneath him. He was warm and broad, hard to quit.
His hand grazes your thigh now, though you know better than to think of it as intention. He pulls up, trailing wet kisses down your cheek and neck. You gasp, tugging on his brown hair.
“I’ve never..”
He buries in your neck. He smells like warm vanilla and books. Maybe cedar. You dunno, you’re not a chemist.
“Been touched?” He asks innocently. His tone almost makes you smile.
His lips are pink and swollen from his attack on you. You swipe at the corner softly and he turns his head to kiss the pad of your thumb. He’s sweet, and his smile afterwards is stupid. He’s awful.
“Yeah.” You murmur, looking down at where his hand falls flat over your sock. Your knee had been hiked up in the frenzy. His hand roams up from your sock to hold your knee.
“That’s okay, we don’t have to do anything till you’re ready.”
You nod, looking him in the eyes. His are soft and round. “But what if you don’t.. like it?”
“That’s very vague,” he smiles at you a little. “like what?”
“Me,” you’re almost silent. “Or like.. when we’re doing.. it..”
He wants to laugh but he doesn’t want to upset you. “I wouldn’t care about that either.”
“My body?”
He shakes his head adamantly. “Do you know what I look like?”
He eyes his scars. They run over his body, weaving through each other at times. You don’t care about them, don’t let your eyes wonder. You found yourself doing it at times when you first met him, almost immediately looking away guilty. You weren’t judgmental of the puffy lines that run through him, just curious.
“I’ve never cared about that.” Your eyebrows furrow.
“Exactly,” he pushes some hair away from your eyes. “Why would I?”
You nod, breathing out. He’s right and you know it. He wouldn’t shy away from the meat of your tummy or the happy trail under your belly button. Wouldn’t gawp at your thighs or the swell of your breasts.
Well, maybe he would, but for different reasons.
“I want to do that.”
“Okay.” He nods. “Right now?”
“Um,” you murmur, eyes falling away from him.
“That’s okay too.”
He’s very genuine, grasping your jaw in his hand. He just wants to look at you. That’s it. Your eyes and your nose, your cheeks and your lips. They’re as pink as his, also puffy, slightly swollen. He smiles at the sight, dipping to drop his forehead against yours. He exhales softly, nudging the bridge of his nose against yours. It’s a quiet moment before you speak.
“Yes.”
“Yes?”
You nod, shying away from his eyes again, leaning up toward him.
“Can I kiss you?” He murmurs, mouth dangerously close to yours to be asking that question. Yet, you know if you said no he’d move away.
“Mhm.”
He dips back down, softer than before. You don’t know what to do with your hands, reaching up to hold his cheeks softly. You can feel the skin of his face move into a smile.
“Can I..” he starts slowly, dropping down for a slow kiss before continuing. “Do this?”
He reaches his broad hand to the hem of your shirt, nudging it up a little. Your tummy flips as he looks back up for confirmation. You nod, and he pushes his hand under, not roaming too far. He holds himself accountable, stopping right under the band of your bra. His hips lower too. You can feel him against you as he holds you closer, kissing deeper.
“I’ll be gentle,” he murmurs, if not to himself, to you. “I’ll be gentle.”
#remus lupin x y/n#remus lupin x you#remus lupin x reader#remus fluff#remus lupin fic#remus fanfic#remus x you#remus lupin fanfiction#remus x reader#remus lupin#remus lupin hurt/comfort#remus lupin fluff#remus lupin smut#remus smut#marauders x y/n#marauders hurt/comfort#marauders smut#remus lupin drabble#remus lupin x self insert#remus lupin blurb
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The Special Touch | Tommy Shelby x Reader
Request: yes by anonymous
Pairing: Tommy Shelby x fem!Reader
Summary: A small, small detail brings back memories of a person in Tommy Shelby’s life that was able to do something not many can.
Warnings: language, drinking
Word Count: 3102
A/N: the structure of this one’s a little wonky, but I think it reads cohesively…I hope it comes off that way for you. Enjoy! :)
A/N 2: the italicized dialogue in the story is taken directly from season 1 of the show.
I’D LOVE TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! YOUR COMMENTS & REBLOGS HELP ME WRITE!
comment/message me if you want to be tagged!
(Y/N)'s food was the only thing Tommy Shelby actually ate.
Sure, he still didn't willingly sit himself at the table when it came time for a meal, but (Y/N)'s cooking coaxed him in more often than it didn't.
What started as a woman trying to impress the family of a man she dearly liked - that form of impressing coming through a lovely, homemade apple pie - quickly blossomed into (Y/N) being the Shelby family cook. Polly was probably the happiest about this - she no longer had to tackle the family meals alone.
Tommy was also happy about this - being that he quickly made sure that she was his - because it meant that he was able to spend much more time with her. Hell, he'd even happily endure the enhanced teasing from his family...Tommy hadn't spent this much time at home since he was a child. But (Y/N), and her cooking, had him coming home more often than anything else.
And he enjoyed it.
On this particular evening, she had decided to make some plum bread to bring to the Shelby family. It was one of her favorite recipes, one that she only brought out every once in a while.
Tonight would be a special night for it, she thought. She and Tommy had been officially together for eight months, but it was on this night one year ago that they shared their feelings with each other and decided that they’d commit themselves to one another.
She worked all day to make the bread not only for this occasion, but also because she wanted to see if his family liked it as much as hers did.
It was late afternoon when she made her way over to the house on Watery Lane. She hoped that everyone was home because with each step her eagerness was building - she wanted as many people as possible to try the bread she’d baked.
She could hear the inhabitants of the house before she saw them as she entered through the front door.
She heard Tommy speak in a low voice, “you’re alright,” as the sound of pain-filled hisses filled the room.
Then came a statement that made (Y/N) stop: “he said Mr. Churchill sent him to Birmingham. National interest, he said…something about a robbery.” It was Arthur who was speaking. “He said he wants us to help him.”
“We don’t help coppers,” she heard John chime in.
“He knew all about our war records,” Arthur continued, “he said we’re patriots…like him. He wants us to be his eyes and ears. I said—” another pain-filled hiss left the eldest siblings lips, and it was followed by a soft ‘shh’. He continued once the pain had been assuaged, “I said we’d have a family meeting and take a vote,” he finished his statement.
A pause filled the room. (Y/N), who’d been standing still and listening in since she entered the dwelling, couldn’t stand in the same position any longer. Despite her efforts not to, her weight shifted, making the floorboard creak underneath her foot.
Tommy looked up from the ground upon hearing the sound, and his intense gaze connected with her worried one instantly. “We’ll discuss this later,” he then addressed his family in a low tone.
“What the fuck is wrong with him lately?” Arthur asked, annoyance laced into his tone.
“If I knew, I’d buy the cure from Compton’s chemists,” Polly chimed in, her tone matching Arthur’s.
Tommy’s eyes were still locked on (Y/N), who now felt like she had to make her presence known. She took a few steps forward into the room before speaking, “I’m sorry I…I didn’t know what I was arriving to,” she hesitantly said, feeling several pairs of eyes now locked onto her. She tried to withhold her expression, but surely there was a look of pain present on her face as she took in Arthur’s bloodied one. “Goodness,” she gasped, the tension quickly becoming too much for her to bear, “I…I wanted to bring something over for the evening. I baked plum bread from scratch,” she said, holding the enclosed tray out in front of her.
“Well isn’t that just bloody perfect,” Arthur muttered under his breath.
Silence hung in the room and (Y/N) wasn’t quite sure what to do. It seemed like every person in the family was glaring daggers at Tommy, and Tommy was just standing, brooding in front of the free-standing stove.
“I can just…I can leave and come back at a better…”
“No!” John interrupted her, pushing himself off of the wall he’d been leaning against, “you’re here now, so let’s try some of this bread.”
“Ok,” there was still a great deal of hesitance present in (Y/N)’s voice, but she still allowed John to take the tray from her hands when he motioned for it. She then glanced in Tommy’s direction, seeing that he was still glaring at the floor. Above everything else, she really wanted to speak to him. The conversation she walked in on was still in the forefront of her mind. She wasn’t sure how to make the first move though.
“Oh, (Y/N), this is grand!” John’s review of the bread cut through her thoughts, making her focus on the small group that was now trying it. Ada nodded her head in agreement with her brother as Polly quietly ate her piece. She didn’t look displeased with it though. Arthur was still staring at the piece that had been placed in front of him. (Y/N) figured he wouldn’t eat it that moment though, given the state he was currently in. A small smile creeped onto her face as she watched them enjoy the thing she’d spent so long baking.
“Tommy you’ve got to try it! It’s absolutely amazing, as always,” Ada said to her older brother, hoping that her shining review would coax him into having a bite.
“I’ll have some later,” he brushed her statement off, his eyes finding (Y/N) again. “(Y/N), can I talk to you?” he asked her then, his brows raising slightly.
“Yes,” she answered softly, knowing there really wasn’t any other response she could give.
He nodded before tipping his head in the direction of the betting shop doors. She nodded in agreement, wordlessly following behind him as they went into that section of the building.
The walk felt so long, even though they were really only moving to the next room over. (Y/N) bit on her cheek as she tried to think of what to say. She knew she wanted to be the first to speak. “What did I walk in on back there?” was what she settled on asking as they both came to a stop.
“It was nothing,” Tommy brushed the question off.
“It didn’t seem like nothing,” she doubled down, not buying his diversion. “Who has Mr. Churchill sent?”
“It’s not a big deal,” he tried another escape route.
“You’re helping the cops now?” she asked another question.
“(Y/N)…” his tone held a warning.
“Why does Arthur look like that?” her exasperation finally shined through this question as she motioned to the room they’d just left.
Tommy exhaled a sigh as he looked away from his partner. It was already enough that his entire family was coming down on him…he didn’t need it from her as well. “This isn’t something you need to worry about, (Y/N),” he told her once he composed himself.
“You said you wouldn’t hold anything from me, Tommy,” she reminded him of a promise that he made to her in their early months. A promise that came as a result of him showing up to her family’s house broken and bloodied…over something he couldn’t share.
Her parents hated him from that day forward, but she found a way to continue to see him. He assured her that would be the last time nothing was withheld…until now it seems.
“This is different,” he shook his head.
“Different how?” she asked for him to elaborate.
“Different in the sense that if it all goes according to plan, we move up in the world,” his elaboration was still vague.
“That doesn’t tell me much,” she crossed her arms over her chest.
“Well it’s all I can share,” his tone was now dismissive as he lifted his hand, his palm to the ceiling.
(Y/N) stared at him for a few moments, silently hoping that he’d take that statement back and clue her in to what was going on. She had to bite on her bottom lip to stop it from quivering after those moments had passed and nothing more was said.
“Well I think I need to leave then,” she finally said, her voice just above a whisper.
Tommy’s brows furrowed at her statement, “what?”
“You promised that you wouldn’t keep anything from me, that there’d be no secrets in regards to what sort of business you��re doing,” she reminded him, “we agreed that that would be the only way we could work.”
“I said that this was different, (Y/N),” he argued his cause, “there has to be an exception for it.”
“I can’t make an exception, Tommy,” she shook her head, her tone slightly wavering, “because if I make one now, you’ll have me making another down the road.”
“(Y/N), I don’t need this…”
“Do you know what day it is, Tommy?” she cut him off, her eyebrows raised. He said nothing. “Huh?” she asked for a response. Silence was all she got. “You don’t…” she sighed in defeat, shaking her head as she looked to the floor. “It’s been a year…one whole year since we shared our feelings for each other. One whole year since I thought I found the person who I was going to be with for the rest of my life. But now I don’t know anymore…”
“(Y/N)…” he tried to get out but she wasn’t hearing it.
“This is your last chance,” she gave him the ultimatum, “tell me or I leave.”
The tension between the two was practically palpable. (Y/N) waited on bated breath for him to share what he’d been hiding from her. Tommy weighed his options in his mind - no one knew that he still had the guns in his possession. He was hoping that the last person who knew was (Y/N). But now since she stumbled in on that conversation, she wanted to know more. He’d remembered the promise he made those several months ago. And while the last thing he wanted to do was break it, he just couldn’t bring himself to reveal the secret he was withholding from the entire family. If she knew, everyone would know, was his thinking.
“I’m leaving,” she made her decision, cutting into his thoughts and making him realize that he hadn’t said anything.
She took one last look at him, honestly still hoping that he’d make some grand gesture and save everything, but he just stood there, a look of disbelief clear across his face. She had to follow through with her decision. With a deep breath, she walked past him and exited the building through the betting shop door. Turning and walking back past the family would have been too much for her. She needed to get away with the least amount of Shelbys seeing her.
Tommy blinked a few times after the door to the shop closed. He was frozen in disbelief. So much had happened in the span of a short time. And now (Y/N) was gone.
He remembered the bottle of rum that he’d brought for Arthur’s wounds. It wasn’t whiskey, but the last thing he wanted to do was go out now, so the rum would do.
Polly, John and Arthur were still sitting in the kitchen when he re-entered it. He didn’t make eye contact with any of them, instead making a b-line for the bottle of alcohol and bringing it to his lips the second he had it in his hands.
“Where’s (Y/N)?” Arthur questioned, looking less bloody now than he had before.
“She left,” Tommy answered before taking another drink from the bottle.
“Shame…this bread’s fucking amazing,” John shared his praises for the woman’s baking skills. “You should try some,” he insisted.
“I don’t want any,” Tommy shook his head.
“Try some!” Arthur shouted, motioning to the small portion of the bread that was left, “before we eat it all on ya.”
“Fine,” Tommy huffed under his breath, moving over to where the baked good was sitting. He took the knife and cut himself the smallest slice, putting it right into his mouth and eating it without giving any clue as to what he thought of it. He then walked out of the room, exiting the home the opposite way (Y/N) had.
The three remaining people in the room all watched him leave, wondering what exactly was making him even more vexed than usual.
“More for us,” John shrugged, his carefree comment clearing the tension as he moved over to cut himself another slice of the bread.
Tommy returned to the house on Watery Lane later that evening and let out a sigh of relief when he found what he was looking for.
There was still a small piece of the plum bread (Y/N) had brought over left of the table. He sighed as he sat down on one of the chairs before reaching out to take the leftover piece.
Another sigh left his lips as he ate the bread. He couldn’t get (Y/N) out of his mind since she left him earlier, and he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t fighting with himself over what he should do now.
As much as he wanted her in his life, he had to honor her wishes. And even if she posed the earlier question to him again, he wasn’t sure if he’d give a different response. What was happening now was different…he had to keep his cards close to his chest. She should have understood that, right?
He couldn’t deny that he missed her though. The fact that he actually came back to have a second piece of the bread she made for them had him realizing that there would be many reasons why he’d be missing her.
“I have something for you,” the barmaid, Grace, announced as she entered the snug, where the three oldest Shelby brothers had been holed up for the majority of the day. She’d been working at the Garrison for several months now, and she’d quickly found her place within the establishment.
“What is it?” Arthur asked as he brought his glass up to his lips, his eyebrows raised in intrigue.
“Plum bread. I made it…figured you’d need something after all of the meetings that have been happening,” she answered, explaining the reason behind the gesture.
John and Arthur exchanged a look upon hearing what she’d brought. They hadn’t had plum bread since (Y/N) left it for them. Hesitantly, they looked over at Tommy. His expression wasn’t readable.
“Leave it on the table and then you’re good to go, Grace,” Tommy spoke up to instruct her. He felt his brothers’ eyes on him, and knew that they’d be watching closely to see what he’d do next.
“Ok,” she nodded, carefully setting the serving dish and accompanying plates on the table before she turned and exited the snug.
The three men looked at the bread for a few moments. John and Arthur both didn’t want to be the first to make a move, and they most certainly knew that Tommy wasn’t going to.
It was kind of Grace to bake for them, and they no doubt took it as one of her attempts to break the ice between her and the Shelby family. She’d been chipping away at it since she arrived months ago.
But the elephant in the room was looming large now, and it had made itself known via the choice of baked good that the aforementioned blonde woman had brought.
“Shall we try it then?” Arthur was the first to finally speak up. He took his eyes off the dish for a moment to look at his brothers.
“Might as well,” John shrugged as he replied.
Now they both were looking at Tommy. It became apparent that they weren’t going to make a move until he signed off on it. “Go on,” he finally instructed them, motioning to the bread with his chin.
That was all the two men needed. Arthur took on the job of cutting the bread while John divvied out the plates. They even cut a piece for Tommy, who didn’t seem like he was too keen on eating it.
What they did not need was an invitation to eat the bread. More silence filled the room as they did so. It took a few bites from both of them before they were sharing a look with each other. Something had been silently agreed upon between them, and now they were deciding whether they should share their thoughts with Tommy.
“How is it?” Tommy broke into their nonverbal conversation, knowing the looks they were sharing all too well.
“It’s…” Arthur started, finishing his statement off with a breath instead of continuing before he looked to John for assistance. Between the two of them, he knew the latter was a more colorful commentator.
“It’s not like hers,” John filled in the blank, shaking his head slightly as he looked down at the remaining piece of bread on his plate.
The name didn’t even need to be said. Tommy knew who they were taking about. He exhaled a breath before nodding his head. He couldn’t take his eyes off of the piece sitting in front of him.
“She ain’t got that special touch like (Y/N) did,” Arthur then added his thoughts, addressing the elephant in the room by name.
Tommy’s look was once again unreadable. Glimpses of the woman he’d lost were swirling around his mind, and they wouldn’t leave no matter how hard he tried. Sometimes he wished he would have done things differently. He wished she was still in his life.
What’s done is done was always what came to mind when he got to thinking like that. But even though that phrase came to mind, he still wasn’t going to try the bread, for his remembrance of how she made it was one of the only good things he had left.
MASTERLIST
Tagged: @mystcldydrms @the-anxious-youth @cloudofdisney @look-at-the-soul @elenavampire21
@mrsalwayswrite @julkaamazing @evita-shelby @theshelbyslimited @peakyswritings
@just-a-blackhole @watercolorskyy @strayrockette @peakyduchesss @alexxavicry
@captivatedbycillianmurphy @yummycastiel @dark-academia-slut @tommystargirl @mischievouslittlecreature
@stevie75 @lyarr24 @signorellisantichrist @zablife @anotherblinder
@cillmequick @dandelionprints @letal-y-poetica @garrison-girl-08 @insanitybyanothername
@depxiety @justrainandcoffee @dragons-are-my-favorite @mrs-bond @cljordan-imperium
@brummiereader @red-riding-wood @everythingelseisextra @little-diable @thomashelbyswife
@shaddixlife @ryecosse @padfootdaredmetoo @novashelby
#tommy shelby#tommy shelby x reader#tommy shelby x you#tommy shelby x y/n#tommy shelby imagine#tommy shelby one shot#tommy shelby oneshot#peaky blinders#peaky blinders x reader#peaky blinders x y/n#peaky blinders x you#peaky blinders imagine#peaky blinders one shot#peaky blinders oneshot#peaky blinders fanfiction#peaky blinders fanfic#tommy shelby fanfic#tommy shelby fanfiction#fanfic#fanfiction
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Last month, I had to tell my mother she was having an allergic reaction to the flu vaccine, so that was fun.
She was like, "Yeah, it's so weird how it makes you feel like you have the flu."
And I was like, "Yeah, I've heard that. I wouldn't know; I'm allergic."
And she ignored me and kept talking and was like, "And it's so instant, too! Like within minutes, I was hot and flushed, and my throat was all tight and scratchy, and my nose was running."
And I was like, "..."
And mum kept talking like, "and I hate the rash it gives you."
At which point, I'm pretty sure I made a noise native only to sea lions and fog horns and made her go to the chemist to get antihistamines because, girl, that's an allergic reaction.
Anyway, she spoke to her doctor about it this week, and the doctor told her, "Oh, that's normal. Everyone gets that," and I just
*pinches bridge of nose*
Girl, MD. That's An Allergic Reaction.
#chronic health tag#who gives these people medical licenses?!?!#honest to fuck#anyway#mum is fine#and she's going to see an allergist
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The Alchemy
pairing: oscar piastri x norris reader; lando norris x sister reader; talks about carlos sainz x norris reader (past relationship)
series: the tortured poets department
synopsis: the alchemy is a term coined in the old days before chemist but back then the aim was to produce gold from other elements by mixing certain chemicals. knowing that she is now with the man of her dreams; she came out of the dark in which she has stayed in for a very long time and found the person in which there was 'no denying the alchemy' that if they were together, there's gold, which to her means love.
warnings: literally none because it's all fluff
author's note: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE LOVE AND SUPPORT YOU'VE GIVEN THIS SERIES 🥹😭🩶 also i had a different collage for this but i didn't like it so here's a new one
This happens once every few lifetimes These chemicals hit me like white wine
Marriage happens every few lifetimes, but not for you. You once thought you were going to marry Carlos. Looking back now, you're extremely grateful that you didn't marry Carlos last year. The 'chemicals' of love that you had with Carlos had an intoxicating effect similar to white wine.
I circled you on a map I haven't come around in so long But I'm coming back so strong
After the Australian Grand Prix, you and Oscar decided to spontaneously get married here since all of the important people in your life are here in his home country. The wedding ceremony was being held at the beach that Oscar's parents had private access to.
As you're walking down the aisle with your father, you start tearing up seeing Oscar wait for you at the alter. Everything you've always wanted is finally happening.
Once you reach the alter, your father gives your hand to Oscar. "Take care of my daughter." Your father smiles as tears form in his eyes.
"Forever and always." Oscar says to your father and takes your hand from him. Oscar walks you up the alter and you both look at Zak. Zak was officiating the wedding ceremony.
"The bride and groom have decided to say their vows to each other." Zak looks at you telling you to go first.
"Oscar Jack Piastri. I can't believe we're getting married after 4 months of knowing each other." You smile in disbelief that you're actually getting married. "I remember when we first met, we had a shot of tequila together cheering to new beginnings for both of us. That night Lando ended up wasted while I was a little bit tipsy. You drove us back to our hotel on an empty Las Vegas Strip. The song 'Downtown Lights' by the Blue Nile started playing in your McLaren and we found that we both loved this song. We sang it loudly while Lando was passed out drunk in the back seat. I didn't know it at that time but it was going to be alright because I found the love of my life." Oscar wipes the tears falling from his face while you continue to speak.
"That week was the first time coming back to the paddock in so long. I remember breaking down in Lando's room because of something an ex said about my papaya family and I. You were so worried about me even though our relationship was barely building. I remember you told me 'it's time to crack these locks from him and start throwing rocks at that past relationship.' After that night I circled you on the map of my heart and came back so strong." You finish your set of vows and the Oscar speaks his.
Cause the sign on your heart Said it's still reserved for me Honestly, who are we to fight the alchemy?
"Y/N Marie Norris. If you're shocked that we're getting married after 4 months of knowing each other. Well honey, I'll do you one better. I'm surprised I'm marrying a MILF." Everyone including you two laughed at the joke Oscar made about you being older. "But in all seriousness, I'm so happy I'm getting to marry you. I remember when you told me that night in Abu Dhabi that you loved me. I was the happiest man alive because I started to love you too." Tears start dripping from your face as you recall the night in Abu Dhabi.
"I know you have been through the slammer in your past relationship, but the universe knew your heart was always reserved for me. There was no reason to fight to alchemy because you're the one for me."
Once Oscar finishes his vows, Zak continues with the ceremony. You two put your rings on each other and Zake announces you two as Mr. and Mrs. Piastri.

yourinstagram thank you to the man that dumped me, i found the man the universe reserved for me 💍🤍✨
oscarpiastri i love my milf wife 😏
yourinstagram LOVE, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO GET ME PREGNANT BEFORE YOU CALL ME THAT landonorris you're basically a milf @/yourinstagram yourinstagram i'm only 26 😭 landonorris you're basically 30 at this point sister, you can't deny it. please give me a niece/nephew soon 🙏 leo can't be my only nephew, he needs a cousin charlesleclerc i agree with this. @/yourinstagram @/oscarpiastri please have a child soon so leo can have a play mate. alexandrasaintmleux preferably a human one so i can convince charles to give me one too @/yourinstagram @/oscarpiastri oscarpiastri i'll start working on it soon 🫡
user1 OSCAR'S COMMENT IS SO UNHINGE I LOVE IT HAHAHA
user2 i love that lando is playing along with it too HAHAHA they were always meant to be family 🥹 user3 i love that alexandra and charles are playing along too user4 maybe baby piastri might be coming soon 👀

oscarpiastri honestly, who are we to fight to alchemy? mr. and mrs. piastri 💍
yourinstagram the love of my life 🥺🤍✨
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logansargeant so glad you found the girl of your american dreams
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landonorris STOP RUBBING OFF ON MY MAN HE'S AUSTRALIAN yourinstagram excuse me @/landonorris he's legally mine now step aside
zbrownceo congrats @/yourinstagram and @/oscarpiastri 💍🧡
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yourinstagram thank you zak for officiating the wedding. this wouldn't have happened without you 🥹
mclaren the papayas are now married 🥹🧡 congrats @/yourinstagram and @/oscarpiastri 💍 now we need papaya babies
racerbia please we need a papaya baby around the paddock @/yourinstagram and @/oscarpiastri 🥹👶🧡 yourinstagram we're working on it @/mclaren @/racerbia 🫡 user1 BABY PAPAYA IS IN THE WORKS!!!

f1news A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN: After 4 months of knowing each other, Oscar Piastri and Y/N Norris, Piastri's teammate's sister, decided to tie the knot. This is definitely better than the disaster of a wedding Norris had with Ferrari driver, Carlos Sainz.
Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Piastri!
user1 the way she went from thinking she lost the love of her life to then finding the love of her life on the team where she truly belonged at 🥹🧡
user2 CARLOS BETTER BE CRYING AT WHAT COULD'VE BEEN
user3 papaya love 🥺🧡
****
I haven't come around in so long But I'm making a comeback to where I belong
After your wedding and honeymoon, you shortly found out that you were 10 weeks pregnant. You didn't notice you were pregnant at first with all the traveling you do until you took a break on your honeymoon. At the end of the trip, you felt like you had a stomach bug but it wasn't. When you went to the doctor to check what was wrong, she calmed you down by telling you that you were pregnant.
You've never seen Oscar so happy in your life other than your wedding day; you were shock on the other hand. At the doctor visit you asked your doctor when she thought the baby was conceived and she said January 22. That was the night when you made love for the first time.
"I still can't believe I'm pregnant," you exclaim as you two were relaxing on the couch. Oscar puts his hands on your stomach and starts rubbing it. "I don't think I can go to the races anymore."
"I know honey, it's okay." Oscar kisses your lips softly. "I know you'll support your favorite guys no matter what."
"Actually you're my favorite, Lando is ..." As you were about to continue you started to remember the comment Lando put on your wedding post. "Lando is going to be so happy that he's getting a niece or nephew soon."
"I understood the assignment Lando, Charles, and Alexandra told me to do." You laugh together recalling how they all wanted you two to start having a child as soon as possible.
****
For your 27th birthday, you decided to celebrate in Miami where Lando and Oscar were racing at. Even though Oscar wasn't on the podium that day, you were so happy for Lando. Finally Lando got his first ever win in F1.
Once Lando got away from the crowd and back into his private room in the garage, you decided to congratulate him. "Congrats little bro. It's been a long time coming." You hug Lando tightly but then he pulls away feeling your 15 week baby bump.
"Y/N are you pregnant?" Lando asks still on his high of happiness, you nod yes and Lando gets more excited. "YES THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!"
"That's why she hasn't been coming to the races because we wanna make sure the baby is safe." Oscar explains to a very happy Lando.
"My doctor finally approved me to travel to certain countries. I'm making a comeback to where I belong." You smile as Lando hugs you one more time.
****
The next race you went to was Emilia Romagna Grand Prix, you were currently 18 weeks pregnant. You decided to stay in Oscar's private room since you wanted to ditch the crowds.
Once the race was over and the crowds went home, Oscar, Lando, and Charles with Alexandra came into Oscar's private room to see you. You had messaged Alexandra earlier telling her you wanted to catch up with her and meet baby Leo.
"Hey Y/N ..." Alexandra stops talking after seeing your growing baby bump. "OH MY GOD YOU'RE PREGNANT!!!" Charles finally comes in with baby Leo in his hands.
"You understood the assignment." Charles smiles at Oscar and gives him a side hug. "Congrats my friend."
Your celebration of happiness was interrupted by a Spanish man knocking on your door, "Lando where are you?"
Lando opens the door wide to let the Spanish driver in, "What's up Carlos?"
"I just wanted to congratulate you on getting 2nd. It was one hell of a fight." He smiles at Lando until he looks around and is confused what's going on. "Why are you guys here?" Asking Charles and Alexandra.
Alexandra, happy for your bundle of joy says, "Y/N is pregnant. Isn't it exciting?"
"It is," you smile at Carlos with your pregnancy glow radiating off you. "Oscar was so excited when we found out we were going to have a baby girl. As soon as we told Lando about the gender, him and Oscar were online shopping on the couch together." You look back at Alexandra telling her about your pregnancy.
"My niece needs to have the best of the best. Oscar and I were looking at the McLaren merch to see if the factory can make baby versions of it." Carlos didn't care what Lando was saying because all of his attention was on you. Oscar's hands were wrapped around you and your midsection. "Carlos are you listening?"
"Yeah," Carlos coughs. "Congrats on your pregnancy Y/N and Oscar." Carlos says and leaves the McLaren room.
Shirts off, and your friends lift you up over their heads Beer sticking to the floor Cheers chanted, cause they said There was no chance, trying to be The greatest in the league Where's the trophy? He just comes running over to me
It was the end of the Monaco Grand Prix, Charles had won the race and Oscar was in second place. As soon as Oscar parked his car and ran out to you so he can hug and kiss. All cameras were on you two as this was the first time you were showing your baby bump to the public. Before Oscar went up to the podium, he kneeled down and kiss your baby bump.
The rest of the McLaren plus Lando, lifted Oscar away from you so that he can get to the podium. There Oscar and Charles got their trophies while you and Alexandra were smiling happily at them. Once the national anthems were played, the drivers got to spray each other with champagne.
There's no chance to be the greatest in league due to Max's dominance in F1, but you knew Oscar was on a high right now in life. From getting married, to soon having a baby girl, and now getting his first podium of the season. Life was just beautiful.
These blokes warm the benches We been on a winning streak He jokes that it's heroin but this time with an "E"
Once Charles was done with his post race interview, the interviewer starts talking to Oscar. "Congrats Oscar on your first podium of the season and becoming a father soon. It's amazing how these two happened weeks apart."
"Thank you for the congratulations. From getting married at my home country, to finding out we'll be having a baby girl, to now getting my first podium of the season. I'm truly on a high with life right now." Oscar smiles at the camera knowing that you're watching the post race interview with Lando.
"Right now McLaren is in 3rd place for constructor's standings compared to last year's standings at 6th place. Tell me what you and Lando are doing for the team." The interviewer asks.
"Well Lando has been on a winning streak getting podiums after China but to be honest we're not doing anything different. It's all my wife's doing. I joke with her that she's like heroin but this time with an 'E' at the end." Everyone except for Carlos in the room laughs at Oscar's little joke.
"And soon you're going to be having a baby girl." Charles adds to the conversation. "You'll have two lucky charms on track." They both smile at the interviewer before they move on to Carlos' interview.
This happens once every few lifetimes

yourinstagram this happens once every few lifetimes 🌊 ✨
tagged oscarpiastri
oscarpiastri thank god for the alchemy or else our love would've never created this ✨
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taylorswift congrats mama can't wait to meet her
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user1 mother swift approves of oscar and y/n using the alchemy lyrics 🥹
user2 MOTHER IS ACTUALLY BECOMING A MOTHER AHHHHH
mclaren BABY PAPAYA COMING SOON 🥺👶🧡✨
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oscarpiastri baby papaya coming soon 🧡
tagged yourinstagram
mclaren baby papaya is already so loved by the mclaren family 🥺🧡
liked by author and yourinstagram
racerbia yay! i get to be a tita aunt to a little papaya 🧡
liked by author and yourinstagram
landonorris IM CALLING DIBS ON BEING THE GOD FATHER
yourinstagram i already picked a god father and it isnt you landonorris WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT ISN'T ME? charlesleclerc it's me and alex landonorris WHAT!! @/yourinstagram @/oscarpiastri say sike 😭 oscarpiastri she's messing around with you of course your the god father landonorris thank god 😅 charlesleclerc have another one already so i can be the god father to that one yourinstagram LET ME HAVE MY BABY FIRST
user1 not lando and charles fighting over who's gonna be the god father 🤣
user2 i love how they’re calling the baby "baby papaya" instead of "baby piastri" 🥺

f1news BABY PAPAYA COMING SOON: After Oscar's first podium of the season, the couple has announced that they are expecting their first bundle of joy weeks after getting married. The driver had made it know that Y/N Piastri, his wife and teammate's sister, was expecting after running to her before he went on the podium.
Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Piastri on your bundle of joy!
user1 OSCAR MOVING IN THE FAST LANE WHILE CARLOS IS GETTING HIS HEART PUNCTURED LIKE HIS TIRE 🤣
user2 wonder how carlos is feeling after seeing his ex fiance go from getting married to now being pregnant in a span of a few weeks
user3 who cares because he missed his shot of having this in his life
user4 did you see that carlos was about to cry while oscar was talking about y/n and the baby? 😭
tagged: @omgsuperstarg @splaterparty0-0 @2pagenumb @c-losur3
#f1#taylor swift#lando norris x reader#the tortured poets department#carlos sainz x reader#f1 x reader#lando norris#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri#carlos sainz#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#charles leclerc#charles lecrelc#mclaren#ferrari#fluff
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Commission: Not So Empty Nest Part 1
The day finally came when Nick had to say goodbye to his mother. He had dreaded this day, but was also excited to be finally heading off to college. They had spent all day yesterday loading up his car and making sure he had everything he needed before doing the four hour drive to his new dorm.
As long as he can remember it had always just been him and Maria. His mom had had him when she was young, 18 and just out of high school, but she made sure he never wanted for anything. They had shared small apartments, late nights working on homework, and now she was getting ready to say goodbye to her only child.
The night before as they ate pizza and watched movies Nick looked at his mom, admiring how beautiful and youthful she still was. Long silky black hair, a curvy body and olive toned skin. They had the same dark brown eyes but Nick was paler and more lanky than his mother. He had gotten his height from his father’s side (according to her) and stood 8 inches taller than his mother’s 5’4” stature.
Nick set down his plate on the coffee table and turned to his mom, his heart pounding and his nerves building in anticipation of him leaving. He had been rehearsing this conversation in his head all day and knew if he didn’t say it now he would never be able to.
“Mom?” Nick started, his voice sounding childlike.
“Yes, sweetheart?” Maria replied, looking at her son and smiling.
“I’ve been thinking about this for a while. Since I got accepted into college really. But I wanted to ask you if you were maybe going to start dating again once I’m gone?”
Maria looked down at her hands and picked at her pizza. “Sweetie you don’t need to worry about me–”
“I know. You’ve told me my whole life. But now you’re going to be alone and I don’t want you here alone without someone here to love you and treat you the way you deserve to be treated.”
Maria didn’t know what to say. She had put off dating these last 18 years, focusing solely on her son and her job as a hairdresser. “I promise, Nick, that I will be fine. Of course I will miss having you around but I don’t need to get married or anything like that.”
Nick tried to hide his disappointment. He had tried this once before when he was younger, begging his mom for more siblings and a dad, but she had shooed him off saying she didn’t have time.
“It’s just something to think about, mom,” Nick replied. “In case you get lonely.”
Maria scooted on the couch closer to her son and hugged him, ruffling his hair and kissing the top of his head. “I appreciate you looking out for me, honey. I’ll think about entering the dating scene again. I promise.”
Nick looked up at her and smiled. “Thanks. I’d feel better about going to school knowing you won’t be bored and alone.”
“Oh, Nicky, I’m not going to be bored. I’ll find some new hobbies to try or something.” She kissed his head and went back to eating the pizza.
The next morning Maria waved her son goodbye as he drove off, tears in her eyes as she watched her baby boy heading off to become the chemist and doctor he had always dreamed of. She sighed and crossed her arms, hugging herself as she felt the impending boredom and loneliness that comes with being an empty nester. She hated to admit that her son was right; she was nervous about being left here alone without him. Maybe she should download a dating app?
Maria chuckled and shook her head. Don’t be hasty, Maria. It’s only been five minutes.
To distract herself, Maria decided to head to the gym. She had always loved working out and keeping in shape, her toned body proved it. She hadn’t ever lost the bit of chub on her thighs and belly from pregnancy, but no one could deny she was absolutely gorgeous.
Dressed in a tight light blue yoga pants and bra set, Maria put in her headphones and started her run on the treadmill. She had been running for about twenty minutes when a man around her age hopped on the one next to her. She smiled politely at him, feeling a warmth in her cheeks when she noticed how attractive he was. Tall and tan with salt and pepper hair and kind tawny eyes. He had some stubble but didn’t look unkempt. Pushing her shoulders back a little, Maria continued her pace trying not to think about the man next to her.
He started his run, his pace about the same as hers. They ran together in silence for another fifteen minutes before Maria slowed down to a walk, hands on her head as she caught her breath. The man slowed down as well, obviously not as avid a runner as Maria. He clutched his side and said something to her.
“Sorry I couldn’t hear you,” Maria responded, taking her headphones out. “What did you say?”
“I said, you’re a really great runner,” the man gasped, smiling big and trying to catch his breath. “I admittedly only came over here to talk to you but you were so in the zone I didn’t want to bug you.”
Maria’s cheeks grew redder. “Oh, well your form looked good anyways!”
The man extended a hand. “John.”
Maria shook it. “Maria. Nice to meet you. Are you new to this gym? I don’t think I’ve seen you here before.”
“Just moved to town about two weeks ago.” John sighed. “Sorry if I’m being too forward. I don’t normally walk up to women like this…”
“No, no it’s okay!” The words of her son from the night before echoed in her head as she stared at this handsome man in front of her. “Do you want to grab a smoothie? There’s a great place a couple doors down.”
John smiled. “I’d love that.”
The two walked out of the gym and to the smoothie cafe. They grabbed their drinks and sat across from each other, drinking and chatting.
“What made you move here?” Maria asked. She took a long sip from her drink and looked him in the eyes.
“Work. I got promoted and they wanted me to head up the lab out here.”
“Lab? Like a research lab?”
“Yeah, I’m an endocrinologist and chemist studying hormonal therapies and stuff like that. Boring stuff.”
“No! My son actually just left today for college. He’s studying chemistry and biology. In high school he had all this really hard homework. I barely understood any of it but he’s so smart.”
“You have a son?” The man looked surprised. Maria mentally slapped herself, not thinking about if the man even wanted or liked kids.
“Uh, yeah. My son Nick. He’s all grown up now.” Maria drank her smoothie nervously. “Do you have any kids?”
The man smiled and shook his head. “No, I never got around to it I guess. I’ve always wanted a big family though. Lots of babies and kids to take care of. A big pregnant wife to greet me when I get home everyday.”
Maria sighed in relief, seeing John look her up and down even more. “Nick always bugged me for younger siblings but, you know, single mom. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I couldn’t afford another baby.”
“You’re still young, Maria. You could definitely still give your son younger siblings.” John gently grabbed her hand and held it. Maria blushed and smiled, smitten by this man she had met barely an hour ago. “I’d love to take you to dinner tonight. If you’re free.”
Maria nodded eagerly. “I’d like that a lot.”
After the first date Maria knew he was the one. He was charming, handsome, tall, funny and kind. Everything her old boyfriends would never be. She eagerly called her son that night after she got home, not realizing how late it was when he answered.
“Mom? Is everything ok?” Nick asked, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
Maria looked at the clock. “Oh shoot, honey sorry I didn’t realize the time. Did you get settled in okay?”
“Yeah, yeah I’m good. My roommate is really nice.” Nick kept his voice quiet. “Orientation is tomorrow and I got my class schedule so I’ll be pretty busy.”
“That’s good. I’m so proud of you, Nicky. And I don’t want you to worry about me…I met someone today at the gym.”
Nick smiled wide. “Wow! Mom, I'm so glad. What’s his name?”
“John. He’s an endocrinologist and studies fertility and other science stuff. I think you two will get along.”
“He sounds great. I hope it goes well, mom.” Nick yawned.
“I’ll let you go, sweetheart. Call me and text me when you can. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
Nick hung up and laid back down, smiling and sighing in relief. Thank god she’s putting herself back out there.
John didn’t come inside that first night, despite Maria wanting him too. In fact, he didn’t come inside her home until date number 3. They spent the last few days together going on little adventures around the city and now Maria finally had him on her couch.
Maria poured them some red wine, handing a glass to John who took it nervously. She noticed his hand shaking a bit and scooted closer, grabbing his arm and leaning on his shoulder.
“Nervous?” Maria purred. “Come on, I don’t bite.”
“Maria,” John started, a tremble in his voice. “I need to confess something to you.”
Maria looked at him confused, leaning up a bit and holding his hand. “What’s wrong? Did I do something?”
“Nothing! Nothing is wrong, it's just that…I’ve fallen for you. Hard. I know it sounds crazy and we barely met but–” John pulled a ring out of his pocket and got on one knee. “Will you marry me?”
Maria felt tears in her eyes, her hands going to her mouth as she smiled and nodded. “Yes! Oh my god this is crazy but yes! I love you too.”
John put the ring on her finger and kissed her, his hands around her waist as she held his face.
“I didn’t ever think I’d fall in love but I just knew from the moment I saw you,” John gasped between kisses. “You’re so beautiful and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”
Maria smiled wider. “Let’s get married tonight. I have a friend at the courthouse. We can get it done in an hour.”
John nodded and kissed her again. “Go put on your prettiest dress!”
Maria wore her only white dress: a short spaghetti strap dress that hugged her curves and held her perky tits perfectly. John grabbed a button down and the two of them headed to the courthouse and were wedded within the hour. John drove them to a nice hotel and got the honeymoon suite, carrying his new bride through the door and popping bottles of champagne.
“Cheers!” John clinked his glass against hers. “To Mrs. Grant.”
Maria kissed him and took a sip. “Mm thank you, Mr. Grant.”
Maria looked her new husband up and down, grabbing him by the collar and kissing him deeply. She pulled back for a moment and chugged the rest of her drink, setting her glass down before ripping his shirt off of him and running her hands up and down his torso. John grunted as she unbuckled his pants, pulling them down and revealing his hard cock.
“Wow, so big already for your new wife?” Maria got on her knees and licked his shaft up and down. “It’s been so long since I’ve been with someone.” She licked his tip before taking him in her mouth, feeling his cock in the back of her throat as she moaned.
John groaned and held her head against his dick. “Ohhh fuck baby you’re so good to me.” He pulled her off him. “But I wanna cum in your pussy.”
Maria looked up at her new husband. “Did you bring a condom? I’m not on the pill…”
John shook his head. “My wife should have babies in her belly, don’t you think?”
Maria hesitated. She hadn’t considered having more kids so soon. “I don’t know, John…” He shoved his cock back in her mouth and down her throat.
“You’ll look so good with a big belly, Maria. Waddling around with my babies inside you. Don’t you want that? For me?”
Maria sucked on his tip before gasping for air again. “You want babies with me?” She stood and jumped in his arms. “I’ll have your babies, John.”
John smiled wider, kissing her and taking her to the bed, laying her down on her back. “I’m going to make you a mommy again!” In a quick thrust he was inside her, filling her tight pusy for the first time. Maria gasped at the sensation, her hands holding her flopping tits as she arched her back, cumming instantly.
“Oh god yes! Don’t stop until I’m pregnant!” Maria squealed and gasped, John grabbing her hips and lifting her against him, getting deeper into her.
“I’m going to put so many babies in you, Maria!” With another thrust, John shot his load deep into her, filling her womb with his seed. He collapsed on top of her, the two of them breahting heavily.
“You really did it,” Maria muttered in her orgasmic daze. “I’m going to be a mommy again.”
John kissed her neck and nibbled her ear. “I’m going to keep breeding you all night long.”
They spent that night and the next few nights fucking non-stop. John moved her into his large house in the suburbs and bent her over whenever he could, fucking another load into her fertile pussy. It didn’t take long to know she was pregnant; the morning sickness hit first only two weeks after their wedding, the sound of her hurling making John smile wide. A week later she took a pregnancy test and sure enough it was positive. She cried in John’s arms, smiling and kissing him as he rubbed her belly excitedly.
As they ate dinner that night, John noticed Maria’s somber expression. “Is something wrong, sweetie?”
Maria looked up at him. “Oh, sorry. I was just thinking about Nick. I know he thinks I’m crazy for marrying you so fast and now I’m pregnant and I just…don’t know what to say to him.”
John grabbed her hand gently. “It’s probably best to tell him in person. And you don’t want to interfere with his first semester when he’s still getting used to everything. Besides, you won’t be showing that much in just a few months.”
Maria squeezed his hand and smiled. “You’re right. I know he’s excited to meet you and he’ll be even more excited to have a baby sibling.”
A few more weeks passed and so did the morning sickness. They had their first ultrasound scheduled for 9 weeks, the doctor a friend of John’s. The morning of the appointment Maria stepped out of the shower and looked in the mirror, noticing the small pudge in her belly. She cupped it, feeling her soft skin bulging in a familiar way. Her hands moved up to her breasts, noticing how much more sensitive they felt as she massaged them. Even her ass was starting to look a little bigger, her hips already wide but getting prepared for her next pregnancy.
With a smirk, Maria walked naked out of the bathroom and posed in front of the bed, pushing her belly out more and giggling as John looked up from his phone. “Baby look how big I am already,” she pouted teasingly. “I’ve got a little belly already.”
John stood, a smile and shock mixing on his face as he cupped the gentle swell and felt the firm belly under her soft skin. “Wow, you’re growing already! This is amazing.”
“It’s not so amazing for my wardrobe. I didn’t think I’d be showing this fast.”
“Maybe it’s more than one?” John kept rubbing the firm bump, mesmerized by it. “My babies are in here.”
“Baby. Just one. I can’t imagine having more than one at a time.” Maria placed her hands on his and kissed him. “Now get dressed, our appointment is soon.”
Maria struggled to get any of her jeans to fit and instead put on yoga pants and a large t-shirt, hiding her bump. She groaned and winced as the tight bra dug into her sensitive breasts. I’ll need to go shopping this week, she thought to herself.
They got in the car and were soon at the clinic. Maria sat in the waiting room holding her husband’s hand. Looking around the room and seeing the other couples there, women in various stages of pregnancy, babies in strollers, she couldn’t help but get teary eyed. John squeezed her hand, noticing the tears.
“Are you okay?” he asked, concerned.
Maria shook her head. “Yeah, sorry it just hit me that we’re gonna have a baby.” John smiled and kissed her. “I’m so excited to see them.”
A nurse came out of the office door and called for them. “Maria? Maria Grant?”
John helped her up and the two followed her to a small exam room where she sat on a table, leaning back slightly.
“Alright, I’m going to take a few intake questions and then the doctor will be in shortly to do an ultrasound. We’ll also need to get some bloodwork done before you leave today.”
Maria nodded along, answering the intake questions and holding John’s hand as he stood beside her. She could hear her heart beating in her ears, the idea of multiples playing in the back of her head as the nurse left and John pulled her shirt back over the noticeable bump.
“Wow baby, I can’t believe how round you are already,” John kissed her belly.
“John, I’m going to get so fat with this baby I can just tell,” Maria pouted. John kissed her again and chuckled.
“You’ll look so beautiful full term and round with my child. I promise.”
Before Maria could respond the door opened and a short man walked in with the same nurse from before.
“Good morning Mrs. Grant,” the short man chirped. “Always a pleasure to see you, Dr. Grant. My name is Dr. Sheen. I see we are here for our 9 week ultrasound. Now, just relax and we will see what’s going on in there.” He put on gloves and squirted the gel on Maria’s belly, making the woman shiver. “Some light pressure as I try to get a clear picture.”
Maria squeezed John’s hand tighter as she held her breath, staring at the gray screen and trying to decipher the blobs. “Is that the baby?” she asked hesitantly.
The doctor smiled. “That is one of your babies yes.”
Maria’s heart skipped a beat and John stiffened beside her. “One?” he muttered, a smile growing on his face. “There’s more than one?”
“You mean, like twins?” Maria asked, looking between the two men.
“Oh I think it’s more than twins. I count…six fetuses,” the doctor circled them on the screen, labeling them A through F. “Sextuplets are rare but you seem to have a strong uterus. I’m curious to see what your blood tests show.”
“Sorry, did you say six?” Maria gasped. “John! I can’t carry six babies!” Tears ran down her cheeks as she stared between her husband and her growing belly. “I’m going to get too big and the babies what if they’re too small and come early–”
John held her and tried to get her to calm down. “Hey, hey,” he half whispered to her. “I’m going to be there with you every step of the way, don't worry. You’re going to carry them just fine. Me and Dr. Sheen will make sure of it.”
Maria calmed down slightly, holding John and her belly. “I’m sorry, it’s just a lot to take in.”
The doctor smiled and explained to her what she would need to do in order to carry six babies. Vitamins, supplements, upping her calorie intake. John assured the doctor that he would take care of her and make sure she and the babies were safe and sound.
The couple walked out of the office, Maria still in shock, and back to the car. John hugged her tightly before helping her sit in the passenger side. “Everything is going to be just fine, I promise.”
Maria nodded, rubbing her belly and taking his hand as he started the car. “Nick is for sure getting his wish for siblings,” she giggled.
Christmas break came faster than Maria anticipated. In the weeks since finding out she was having sextuplets her body grew faster, clothes ripping daily it seemed now as she refused to buy bigger ones.
“I’m growing so fast I’ll just outgrow anything else I buy” she complained one evening to her husband, the two of them sitting in bed and rubbing her bulging belly.
At 23 weeks with sextuplets Maria felt gigantic. She looked bigger than most women did with twins and she had still so long to go. Her skin was stretched tight, covered in stretch marks and the bumps from her babies kicking. John couldn’t get enough of her growing body, constantly rubbing her belly or breasts, marveling at how wide her hips were growing.
“Nick will be home tomorrow. I’m so scared of his reaction to this,” Maria groaned. “What if he’s upset we didn’t tell him sooner?”
John kissed her. “Don’t worry, he’s going to be so happy for you. I promise.”
Maria smiled and snuggled up to her baby daddy, her belly resting between them. “I know you’re right but I’m allowed to be nervous.”
The next morning Maria waddled around the house cleaning and making sure everything was in order for Nick’s arrival. She had moved into John’s house after they got married, making sure Nick still had his own room set up the same way it was in their apartment.
John came up behind her in the kitchen, lifting her belly and kissing her neck as she tried to finish the cookies she was making. “You need to go sit and rest,” he said with a smile.
“I will after I finish these. I want everything to be perfect.” Maria kissed him and put the cookies in the oven. “He’ll be here any minute.”
John rubbed her belly more, seeing his babies kicking. “I’ll finish the cookies. You go sit and rest. Doctor’s orders.” He chuckled and lightly spanked her ass.
Maria sighed but agreed, gratefully waddling to the living room and sitting on the couch, putting her swollen feet on the coffee table. She texted Nick to see how far he was, nervous he would get lost on his way to their new home.
Nick was getting nervous himself. He was happy his mom had found a new guy but getting married so fast made him worry. John sounded great and Nick couldn’t help but picture his new dad helping him with his college medical work. He drove through the fancy suburb, noticing the large houses and perfect lawns.
The lights outside turned on as Nick turned his car off, the sun setting earlier now that it was December. He was excited to see his mom for the first time in months. Their FaceTimes had gotten more brief the last month and her responses more vague. With a deep sigh he knocked on the door.
Maria heard the knock and John waved at her to stay seated, heading to answer it. She didn’t listen, standing awkwardly as her husband let her son into the house.
“Hey!” John opened the door wide with a smile. “You must be Nick. Come on in. I’m John.” John extended a hand and Nick shook it before coming inside.
Nick looked his new dad up and down, noticing his bright eyes and salt and pepper hair. He was taller than Nick but a couple inches, his shoulders broader too. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”
“Your moms in the living room. Come on.”
John took Nick down the short hallway and into the living room where Maria stokd waiting, her belly huge in her hands as she stood before her son. “Nicky! I’m so happy you’re home!” She waddled over and tried to hug him, her belly pressing into him awkwardly.
Nick's jaw dropped at the sight of her, panic and a tingly feeling mixing in his stomach at the sight of her stretched belly. “M-mom? You’re…you’re pregnant! But how…? How are you so big already?” He stuttered, gingerly touching her bare belly as though he didn’t believe it was real.
“Nick, I wanted to tell you so badly but we felt it was best to tell you in person,” Maria said. “John and I didn’t anticipate me growing so fast but I’m pregnant with sextuplets—-”
“Sextuplets!” Nick blurted.
“Honey, I know it’s a lot to take in but I promise I’m healthy and your baby brothers and sisters are healthy and kicking.” Maria placed her son's hand on her belly so he could feel them. Nick could see the tears in her eyes. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner I know I should have.”
Nick smiled and rubbed her belly before hugging her. “It’s okay mom. I’m just happy you’re happy.” Maria kissed his cheek and hugged him again. “Plus now I get to have those younger siblings I always wanted.”
Maria and John laughed. “It’s five more babies that I anticipated but I couldn't be happier to be with such a wonderful woman,” John said.
Something stirred inside Nick as he rubbed his mothers belly. “How far along are you?”
“24 weeks tomorrow. Still have a long way to go,” Maria smiled. “But come on let me show you your room.”
It took Maria more time to get up the stairs these days but her husband and son helped her and soon she was showing Nick to his new room. “I tried to make it like your other room was,” she panted, every movement harder with the weight in front of her.
Nick set his bag down in the bed. “It looks great, mom. Thanks.”
“You’re welcome, sweetie. Even with all these new babies coming you’ll always be my first baby.” Maria wiped a tear from her eye. “Sorry, hormones. Dinner will be ready soon so come down in a bit.”
When Nick was alone he locked the door and groaned, feeling his dick hard in his jeans. It wasn’t that his mom turned him on, but god that belly and those tits. She was a fertility goddess. And six! Six babies in her belly. This was the kind of science he wanted to study. Ideas came to him as he rubbed his cock up and down, ways to increase her fertility even more. He saw the way John looked at her too and imagined he wouldn’t be too mad with having even more babies for him.
Nick came with a grunt at the thought of his mom carrying a hundred babies. “Ooh fuck I need to make it happen,” he groaned.
The next day Nick went downstairs and found John making breakfast in the kitchen. He was busy flipping pancakes and cooking bacon, not noticing Nick until he poured a mug of coffee.
“Morning,” John said. “Your mom is still asleep but I know she’s going to be hungry when she wakes up.”
Nick smiled, noticing just how much food his step-dad was making. “Well she’s got a lot of babies to feed.” Nick chuckled softly. “Need any help?”
“A lot of big healthy babies to feed. And can you grab the syrup and butter from the fridge?”
Nick opened the well-stocked fridge and grabbed the two items, noticing the weight gain shakes in there as well. “Are you excited to have kids?” Nick could feel his heart pounding, trying to tread the topic carefully.
John nodded enthusiastically. “Couldn’t be happier. I’ve always wanted a big family. It’s one of the reasons I got into fertility medicine.”
“Same. Kind of. Mom had lots of friends who had trouble having kids and I always wanted to try and find ways to fix that. I never expected my own mom to be so fertile.”
“She is something else, isn’t she?” John looked at his new stepson and knew what he was trying to get at. “I didn’t give her any fertility meds if that’s what you're implying.”
Nick shook his head. “No! No… That’s what makes it so amazing.” Nick took a nervous sip of the coffee, scrunching his face at the bitter taste. He held tight on the mug, not wanting John to see his shaking hands. “Since her pregnancy is natural… I think it’s worth studying. Don’t you? Seeing how far her fertility goes?”
John set the plates of pancakes, eggs, bacon, orange juice, and muffins on a large tray. I like this kid, he thought to himself with a smile. He wants to see his mom blow up with babies, huh?
“Sorry if that’s weird I just figure with your work–”
“How would you like to intern at my office?” John asked. “I could use help on a project like this and it would look good on your resume.”
Nick was taken aback. Maybe it was their shared love of pregnancy that brought them together so quickly, neither of them needing to say out loud what their real goals were. “Deal.” Nick extended a hand and John shook it.
“Great! Let’s get her through this pregnancy first and then we can talk about the next one.”
With a wink, John grabbed the tray of food and hauled it to his sleeping wife upstairs. Nick sat at the kitchen table, dumbfounded and excited to see what they could accomplish.
After the break, Nick reluctantly went back to school. His mom hugged him tight and John shook his hand again, telling him he’d be in contact about the internship. Nick made his mom promise to send updates on the babies and pictures of her bump. He wanted to be a part of the experience as much as possible even from a distance. Maria thought it was sweet her son was so excited to be a big brother.
Maria waddled behind John into the doctor’s office for her 32 week checkup. She was growing faster now that she was in the third trimester, her belly round and heavy on her pelvis, reaching past her knees now when she sits. Her hips are almost too wide for most doorways now, John need to help her squeeze through on occasion.
With John and a nurse's help Maria gets onto the table, leaning back and groaning as she feels the babies in her belly moving and kicking. Laying on her back isn’t much of an option anymore, the weight of the babies and of her expanding chest making it hard to breathe.
Dr. Sheen walked in as John was soothing the kicking at her belly button. “How’re we doing?” the doctor asked as he squirted a generous amount of gel on her belly.
“Sore. Huge. I swear there’s more than six in there sometimes.” Maria rubbed her belly, her face scrunched in pain. “And they move so much now.”
“I can see very active babies,” the doctor said, pressing the wand into her belly and showing the large infants on the screen. “Oh my…you may be right about there being more than six…”
“What?” John said with a smile. “Really?”
“Oh, John please, it's already too much!” Maria cried.
“I can see eight babies in here. My apologies for missing them before but they must have been hiding behind their brothers. You’re up to five boys, three girls, Mrs. Grant.”
Maria didn’t know what to say. She was already struggling with the thought of having six babies but now it was eight?! What would her son say?
John could only smile and kiss her, rubbing her belly excitedly, his cock hard in his pants. The doctor left the two of them alone and he immediately started making out with her, grabbing her tits as she moaned in his arms.
“God you’re so fertile it’s amazing,” John gasped. “I love how big you’re getting, Maria. You’ve never looked sexier.” He kissed her neck, gripping her tits harder as milk seeped into his hands.
“Ohhh god, John you’ve really blown me up! I’m not going to be able to walk soon.”
“Fine by me.” John took a step back and took out his phone, snapping a pic of Maria looking huge and pregnant laying on her back. He texted the photo to a group chat of him, Nick, and Maria with the caption “guess who found two more babies in their belly”
Nick texted back immediately “OMG that's amazing congrats mom!”
Showing his wife the message, John smiled wider. “See? Everyone’s so excited for more babies.”
John pulled his wife to her feet and waddled her back to the car, helping her squeeze into the front seat. He drove them home quickly, his cock throbbing harder as he watched Maria moan and rub her belly the whole drive home. Once parked he pulled her out of the car and into the living room, pulling her dress off of her and unhooking the too tight bra.
“John!” Maria gasped, holding her belly as she felt her husband latching on to her leaking tit. “Ohh fuck baby I’m so pregnant it’s making me so full of milk!”
Without letting go of her, John eased Maria onto the couch, holding her belly, rubbing his hand down further until he found her wet pussy, fingering her sensitive clit.
Maria cried out in ecstasy as she felt her husband teasing her. “John, I need you! I need you inside me!”
Not one to deny a pregnant woman, John undid his pants and gripped her hips, pulling her up and lining his cock with her hole, rubbing her lips with his tip before plunging deep inside her. He groaned low as he felt her warm insides envelope him, so wet and ready for more of his potent seed.
Maria’s eyes crossed as she felt John thrust into her, her whole body shaking as he pounded against her sensitive cervix. She gripped her tits in her hands, milk dripping onto her belly as they slapped against her tight orb. “John I’m gonna cum!” she squealed, feeling her clit pulsate as she screamed through her orgasm, her pussy clenching tighter around John’s cock.
“Oh fuck, Maria you’re the best baby factory!” John came inside her, shooting hot ropes into her already overfilled womb. He collapsed onto her belly, feeling the rising and falling of her breathing as he kissed and sucked on her belly button.
The rest of her pregnancy was much the same. Growing, eating, fucking. John ordered her on a bed rest two months after they found the two extra babies, her belly so heavy on her once tiny frame that she couldn’t walk without John’s help now.
Maria spent the last few weeks of her pregnancy moaning and miserable in bed, laying on her side and rubbing her belly as the babies inside assaulted her. She could feel each of them moving and kicking, fighting for more space inside her cramped womb. Making it to 40 weeks was unprecedented but having both John and Nick home to help her made it a little easier.
Nick’s first year of school had finished and he was eager to move back home for the summer, especially since Maria hadn’t given birth yet. She was close, John kept saying, yet she kept growing and the babies seemed content inside her.
At 41 weeks Maria felt gigantic. Her belly was bigger than her, large enough John could have curled inside it. Nick sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed lotion into her tight and red skin, trying to soothe the miserable woman groaning on the bed.
“Please come soon,” Maria whined. “Oh god, Nick, I can’t do this much longer.”
John walked in with a tray of sandwiches and chips for lunch, the two of them helping Maria sit up so she could eat. “Don’t worry, baby. They’re getting lower and your contractions are getting more frequent. I’m sure it’ll be any day now.”
Maria nodded, her eyes bulging as she felt her babies fighting against her belly button again. John gave Nick a look and the young man nodded, leaving the two of them alone, his mom eating quickly through the stack of sandwiches as Nick peeked through the door at his stepfather caressing his mother’s huge belly.
John smiled at his gravid wife, rubbing her belly and pressing against the strong and overdue babies fighting inside her. He loved having her so big, hearing her moan through every bite of food and kick from a baby. She was utterly huge and miserable and he had never been more attracted to her.
”You’re contractions are getting more productive,” John commented, feeling her womb tighten under his hands as she groaned and grunted. “I think it's time we break your water, baby girl.”
Maria rubbed her belly nervously but eagerly. “I’m…ready…I need them out of me!”
John grabbed the empty tray and set it aside, rolling Maria onto her side again, her belly flopping onto the mattress and trembling as the overdue babies kick and fight against the movement. Her groans and whines only served to make him harder, his hands gripping her fat thighs as he got in position behind her.
”Are you ready? Are you ready to become a mom all over again?” John grunted. He gently caressed her wet pussy, feeling her throbbing and ready for him.
”Yes!” Maria squeaked. “God yes fuck me into labor! I want to have these babies for you!”
John didn’t need to be told twice. In one quick motion he was inside his pregnant wife, feeling her tight folds envelope him and smiling in satisfaction at her lusty moans and cries. “God you’re so tight still. You're an amazing baby mama!”
Maria gripped her tits tightly, the swollen orbs bouncing into her face with every thrust from her beast of a husband. She felt her back and belly tighten again as the babies fought against the movement, not happy that their already cramped home was being invaded.
”Oh god I’m so big! Please break my water! I want to give birth so badly!” Maria cried and moaned as John hit her g-spot over and over again, his hands roaming her body and feeling every inch of what he had done to her. “Please get them out of me!”
Nick was hard as a rock watching between the crack in the door, seeing his overdue and overgrown mother getting railed by his stepfather was a sight to behold, her belly so huge in his hands and him still able to make her beg and moan for him despite being too big to even walk.
John smacked her fat ass, gripping her thigh as he held it up for her and thrust harder into her folds. “I’m…gonna…fuck you…into labor!”
Maria came hard, John plunging himself deeper inside of her as she convulsed around him, her pussy tighter from the combination of orgasm and contraction. Before he could hold back he was unleashing a load into her fertile pussy, watching his wife devolve into a slurry of moans and cries as a gush of fluid squired around his cock.
”Baby! Oh fuck they’re coming!” Maria gasped and grabbed her belly as she felt the first one getting ready to crown. “They’re coming fast, John!”
John smiled and smacked her ass again, pulling out of her and putting his shorts back on as he called for Nick to get the supplies ready. Red-faced and ready, the younger man entered the bedroom carrying towels and blankets as John helped Maria through another contraction, the two of them rolling her onto her back and spreading her legs more.
”Nick, check her dilation while I get some hot water,” John instructed his step-son.
Nick blushed even more as he took a gloved hand and felt inside his mother, hearing her groan in pain as the babies shifted more. “Nearly there, mom. about 8 centimeters.”
”I have to push,” Maria gasped. “Please let me push.”
Nick kept his hand inside her as she bore down, preventing the baby's bulging head from tearing her. “Mom, stop! You’re not ready yet!”
John went and stroked her hair, breathing with her and letting the contraction pass without more pushing.
“Babe,” Maria moaned. “Oh god I can’t there’s too many…”
John kissed her deeply and rubbed her belly. “You’ve got this, mama. You’re the best wife and mom in the world, no one but you can handle this.”
Maria smiled and nodded, tears running down her cheeks as another contraction gripped her. Nick checked her again, feeling her stretch wider.
“You’ve got this mom! It’s almost time to push. On the next one you can I promise,” Nick said as he massaged her under belly.
“Alright, baby mama,” John smiled. “Let’s have our babies.”
A few minutes passed before Nick checked her dilation again, trying to ignore how hard he was for his own mother giving birth. He stroked her pussy again, listening to her moan as he inserted his fingers into her.
“Ten centimeters,” he stuttered. “You can push in the next contraction, mom.”
Maria groaned and held onto her belly, the babies kicking harder as her womb tightened and a scream and groan echoed throughout the room. With a hard push the first baby bulged, her pussy stretching wider for the large head.
“I see the first head!” Nick exclaimed, looking over his moms belly to John who smiled and nodded.
“He’s coming! Catch him!” Maria whined as she pushed again, the baby crowning and popping free.
“The first heads out,” John said, moving to Nick's spot as the younger man grew more pale and nervous. “Go comfort your mother, I got this.”
Nick nodded and quickly moved to sit behind Maria, holding her tight as she pushed again, the first baby coming out quickly, crying and weighing almost ten pounds. John felt the tears in his eyes as he held his first son, quickly moving to set the infant on Maria’s engorged chest.
“Oh he’s beautiful!” Maria cried, holding her new baby and helping him latch on to her nipple. “Mm the next ones coming I can feel them.”
John rubbed Maria’s clit as she pushed, making her moan and her legs squirm as she struggled with the second baby’s larger head. He smiled and rubbed her underbelly, feeling the seven left inside her still kicking hard.
“Almost there, baby,” John smiled, rubbing his fingers around the bulging head and feeling his wife cum as she pushed again, freeing the second infant from her. “Good baby, one more big push.”
Nick held his mom tight as she pushed once more, sitting behind her and letting her head rest against his chest. The second baby, a big 12 lb girl, was soon placed next to her brother on Maria’s chest.
“I…I can’t believe it! There’s still six left,” Maria groaned as contractions came fast, the six still inside her eager to escape their cramped home. “Hooo, John it feels so good having your babies!”
The third one came faster than John could anticipate, his hands barely catching the baby girl as Maria’s pussy stretched around her.
“Slow down,” John cooed. “It’s okay baby girl, you're doing so good. Just breathe.”
Maria moaned and leaned against Nick again, shaking her head wildly, her eyes unfocused as she felt the babies fighting to be next to be birthed. “They’re…they’re all coming so fast! I can’t…I have to push!”
Nick squeezed Maria’s hands and whispered to her “You’re doing great. Breathe with me.”
Nick got Maria to do her Lamaze breathing as the fourth baby crowned, John pulling the overgrown boy free from her with another push.
“Halfway there,” John said. He looked over his wife’s belly at his stepson. “Keep her breathing even, these last ones are going to come fast.”
Nick nodded and kept his mothers focus on him, holding her as she struggled to push through the exhaustion after giving birth to four babies.
“You got this mom, only a few left and then you can rest,” Nick said. “In and out…in and out…”
John took over telling her when to push, not wanting her to strain unnecessarily and exhaust herself more than she already was. After six long hours in labor all the babies were finally born, weighing between 9-13 lbs each, five boys and three girls sitting on their mothers chest as her husband and oldest held her.
“I did it,” Maria moaned, leaning against John and closing her eyes. “All our babies are here.”
“You did amazing,” John kissed his wife lovingly, stroking the heads of his babies as they slept in her arms. “I can’t believe we have our eight little ones here.”
“I can’t believe I finally get to be a big brother,” Nick chuckled.He looked at the exhausted woman and her husband, both of them still glowing and happy despite how tired they all were. “I’ll let you two rest. Call me if you need help, mom.”
Maria hugged her oldest son tight, kissing his cheek.
“Thank you, for everything. You’re the best son a mother could ask for.”
When Maria and the babies were all asleep and resting John came back downstairs, finding Nick asleep on the couch. He roused his stepson gently, the younger man sitting up concerned.
“Don’t worry, they’re all asleep and fine,” John whispered. “How are you doing?”
Nick rubbed his eyes and smiled, blushing as he thought about his mom growing even more. “I’m good. Excited. Tired. Are we ready to start the next experiment?”
John nodded. “It’ll take a few weeks for the fertility meds to kick in but once that happens she should get pregnant with double the amount easily. And she’s already proven to be an amazingly fertile woman even without the meds.”
“She’s going to be so big…” Nick mumbled. He shook his head. “What do you need me to do?”
“Any meal she eats I need the drugs to be in. Just ensure that she’s taking them at least three times a day. I’ll take care of the rest.” John winked and clapped him on the shoulder. “She’ll be pregnant again before you start school, I promise.”
#pregnancy#pregnant#multiples#plus size preggo#preggo kink#hyperpregnancy#preg#multiples pregnancy#hpreg#preg k!nk#short story#kink writing
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𝐞𝐱𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 | 𝐬.𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐝
𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: spencer never thought he’d be woken up in the middle of the night by a woman who didn’t even particularly like him, asking him to examine her breast. and yet, there he was.
𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬/𝐭𝐰: spencer reid x diva!chemist reader, mention of the case they're working on, reader thinks she might be infected by something dangerous, reader is half-naked, chemical nonsense and a made-up disease, reader is described with slightly longer hair, but that's just for the sake of the plot lol—you can imagine her however you want.
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬: 3k
𝐚/𝐧: i know something else won the poll but i just couldnt stop myself from writing this. the next part will be one of your requests :3 (shoutout to @angellic4l for listening me ramble about this—btw i used some of her quotes here because shes my personal comedian)
"My weekend? Nothing special," Morgan began, leaning back against the hood of the car. His dark sunglasses had slid slightly down his nose, shielding him from the harsh sunlight beating down on the shopping mall parking lot where they stood. Or rather, where they waited.
"I promised Pen I’d drop by for the evening, but it kinda stretched out. Especially after she talked me into some wine..."
Spencer zoned out somewhere in the middle of that sentence, not even realizing when the words started slipping past his ears instead of through them. And he liked to think he was good at multitasking.
His gaze had been fixed for a while now on the police-secured entrance to the mall, where a woman in a protective suit was stepping outside, slowly peeling it off. The forensic team beside her started discussing something with her, but she barely acknowledged them, sliding the suit down to her ankles and stepping out—one foot, then the other. Underneath, she was wearing her usual formal attire.
Her lips moved as she replied, her face betraying nothing but focus. One hand reached up to push back strands of messy hair…
"…And then on Saturday, we got word from Hotch that he won a belly dance competition at the White House. So, obviously, we baked him cupcakes."
Morgan trailed off, waiting for a response. One of his eyebrows arched in that weird, expectant way.
Spencer realized, too late, that he hadn't been listening at all. Clearing his throat, he grabbed onto the last words still hanging in the air between them.
"Interesting. What kind of cupcakes?" he asked.
Morgan just shook his head, part disbelief, part something else Spencer couldn't quite read.
Reid frowned.
"What? Something wrong?"
"Morgan. Reid."
Both of them turned their heads toward Hotch, who stood behind them with his usual seriousness—except today, it seemed even more intense. Not surprising, given the kind of case they were working on.
He must have been there for a while. For reasons unknown to Spencer, Derek’s eyes suddenly widened at the sight of their boss, like he was seeing him for the first time in his life.
Reid was starting to feel more and more disoriented.
"Want you to talk to the chemists and get their opinion. Especially in the context of previous incidents," he instructed them, one of his eyes drifting sideways toward his teammate’s face. The other man simply nodded, avoiding eye contact, his lips pursed slightly forward.
A phone rang. Hotch reached into his pocket.
"Excuse me," he said, stepping away. For a moment, however, he froze, something very odd flickering across his face. “Morgan. Just so you know, I'm currently cutting down on processed sugar, so cupcakes aren't the best idea. Just for future reference."
Derek squeezed his eyes shut for a second before nodding, muttering under his breath, I’ll keep that in mind.
When their boss walked away, he fixed his gaze on Reid and shook his head.
"I hate you. I just want you to know that."
Spencer let his arms fall helplessly to his sides.
"I— I still have no idea what you're talking about. Did you tell Hotch about you and Garcia baking cupcakes? Did you offer him some? You know, you could have guessed he wouldn’t eat that kind of stuff while training for a marathon—"
"If you value your life, you better shut up already, okay?”
"But—"
"You."
Their conversation was interrupted by the voice of a woman approaching them—the chemist Spencer had just watched removing her protective suit. Her arms were crossed over her chest, her stride as quick as ever, and her expression held nothing remotely positive.
Derek gave her a nod. "Why the gloomy face at the sight of two such handsome profilers?"
She scoffed with the purest form of mockery. All of it.
"Ouch…" Morgan hissed in fake pain, pressing a hand to his chest as if he'd actually been wounded.
Her gaze held a certain resignation. Spencer noted that her face had an odd look, as if some of its color had drained away.
"This gloomy face is the result of looking at a body so drenched in blood that I didn’t even realize the human body could hold that much," she replied dryly, sweeping her eyes from one of them to the other as if scolding them. Then, suddenly, her stare lingered on Morgan, and her expression hardened even further. "So forgive me if, after a sight like that, I’m not exactly radiating joy or giggling at the sight of you two handsome or not. Can we finally get to the point?"
Reid couldn’t suppress a small, petty spark of satisfaction at the look on his friend’s face. Probably the first time ever that he’d taken her side, and, to his surprise, her sharp remarks actually amused him. Turns out, when they weren’t aimed at him, he could appreciate how spot-on they were.
For a fraction of a second, the corners of his mouth even twitched upward—until he reminded himself that she was right, and they really should be getting back to the case.
"Actually, we were just about to talk to you," he said.
"Mm-hmm. Sure you were. Just standing here like two useless lampposts."
He changed his mind. He didn’t like her remarks after all.
To quickly sum up the case they were working on—they had been sent to another state where, over the past few weeks, four strange incidents had occurred. So far, they hadn't identified any connections between the victims, but each had suffered a mysterious attack.
More specifically, they had all experienced sudden, severe hemorrhaging from various orifices—gruesome and unexpected. It was different from their usual cases; the unsub hadn’t directly taken their lives, but they suspected some kind of foreign, unknown substance had been introduced into their bodies. How, exactly, was still a mystery.
The most recent attack had just taken place in a shopping mall. Given the nature of the crime, they were accompanied by their trusted team of chemists.
"What we've determined so far is, well," the woman began, her tone carrying a hint of irritation, "we're dealing with the same thing as in the previous victims."
Reid couldn’t help himself—he let out a short, amused scoff at the obvious conclusion.
"That was never in question," he said, shaking his head. "Anything more? Have you figured out what was administered? When, how?"
Her expression held a double dose of irritation—at him, obviously, and at the fact that her team hadn’t managed to figure out anything more.
"So far, we suspect that the method of transmission wasn’t through contact with a contaminated surface or accidental ingestion," she explained. "In other words, the most likely scenario is that it was introduced directly into the victim’s body. Did you see the other corpses? Any injection marks?"
Spencer exchanged a glance with Morgan, trying to recall. His friend slowly shook his head.
"We’re not sure," he admitted. "But a lot of their bodies were covered in a rash, which might’ve distracted us from spotting any puncture wounds."
The atmosphere between them shifted, thickening with realization. They were all arriving at the same unsettling conclusion.
"So, what—you think some mad scientist is cooking up potions at home and injecting random people? Just picking them out of a crowd and—"
"I don’t think so," Reid interrupted, thoughtful. "I actually wondered if the rash could be an early symptom. Which would mean the substance was in their system for a while before the hemorrhaging started��a buildup of symptoms leading to the final collapse."
"A fatal buildup of symptoms," the woman added, the memory of what she’d seen clearly flashing through her mind.
Morgan turned to Reid, his gaze sharpening. "So you’re saying the victims weren’t random? That there’s a connection?"
"Well, that’s what we need to find out."
To his surprise, the woman let out a quiet hum of agreement.
"You’d better," she said, though not in a way that suggested she was wishing them luck. "Because I never want to see something like that again. I’ll let you know if we find anything else."
With that, she gave a slight nod and walked off, heading back to her team.
Spencer watched her absently, his mind still running through everything they’d learned, trying to piece it all together. He was determined to solve this before another person ended up in the same horrific state.
That’s when he realized Morgan was staring at him.
"What now?" Spencer asked.
Morgan just shook his head, the faintest hint of a smirk tugging at his lips.
*
He was on the verge of falling asleep when someone knocked on the door.
And he knew he wasn’t imagining it—it wasn’t a hesitant, uncertain tapping but a determined pounding. Loud enough to jolt him out of bed. Spencer sat up, a flicker of unease creeping in.
The case they were working on required them to stay in a motel for a few days. It was small, dimly lit, but otherwise, he had no complaints. He assumed it had to be someone from his team—maybe Morgan, wanting to share some new findings, some breakthrough. Or maybe another incident had occurred?
That thought made him jump to his feet. Within seconds, the door swung open.
But it wasn’t Morgan standing there. It wasn’t anyone from his team.
"I need you to examine my breast," the woman said without so much as a blink, before he could even open his mouth to ask what she was doing there. "And not just that. But I figured I’d start with something that might keep you particularly motivated."
Her words might have sounded lighthearted—if not for her expression. Absolute seriousness, a clenched jaw, and something else in her eyes. Something he had never seen there before.
It took him a moment to recognize it.
It looked a lot like…fear.
"You need—you want me to…what?"
He knew he must have looked, to put it mildly, like a complete idiot—staring at her with wide eyes. The theory that he was dreaming suddenly seemed a lot more convincing.
Except…why would he be dreaming about something like this?
"You heard me," she replied shortly before simply letting herself into his room. She slipped through the partially open door so closely that her hip brushed against him by accident.
Spencer remained frozen for a few more seconds before finally snapping out of his daze. He shut the door and turned to face her.
That was when he noticed—she was wearing nothing but a satin robe. Definitely not something provided by the motel, which meant she must have brought it from home. She stopped just where her back blocked the light source in his small room—the standing lamp casting a dim, yellow glow that settled gently along the edges of her figure.
He watched as she took a breath.
"I was just about to take a shower," she began. Spencer could tell she was trying to maintain a calm and measured tone, which resulted in her speaking very slowly, emphasizing each syllable. "When I noticed…I think I might have been infected with whatever those victims had. During the examination, maybe my suit was compromised—I don’t know. I just…you need to look at it and tell me."
As Spencer looked at her—the quiet desperation woven between her words—he was reminded of how she had acted earlier in the parking lot outside the shopping center. Almost masterfully concealed, but still faintly present, was the lingering shakiness from seeing a victim in such a state. Unlike him, this wasn’t something she encountered every day.
And now, that same fear was written all over her. The terror that the same thing might be happening to her.
He felt something twist in his stomach, but he quickly shook his head. He had to be the rational one here, not let panic take over.
"But…you were the one who said it likely wasn’t transmitted through physical contact. That it was introduced directly into the victim’s body by the unsub. So how would you have gotten infected?"
"That was just our assumption. A theory. For all we know, we could be completely wrong, and this thing is highly contagious, and I’m about to collapse onto this…disgusting carpet and start bleeding out from my eyes, ears, and mouth right in front of your bed!" she snapped through clenched teeth.
She took another deep breath, this one just as shaky.
"So, please, just check. Tell me if my suspicions are correct, because if they are, maybe we still have time to—"
"Okay, just—calm down," Spencer attempted, stepping toward her.
"Oh, do not tell me to calm down. I will calm down when you check."
He stared at her for a moment, neither of them moving.
"Please," she added, her voice quieter now, tight with strain. "Seriously, what’s the harm? You might not like me, but I doubt you’d wish me dead."
Spencer pressed his fingers briefly to the space between his brows, shaking his head slightly.
"I’ll do it," he finally confirmed. He had to swallow before speaking again. "Jesus. Of course, I’ll do it. You didn’t have to guilt-trip me so hard."
Her chest rose and fell in what looked like relief, and despite the circumstances, he thought he caught the faintest shadow of a smile at his words. He found himself holding his gaze there, just for a second—before forcing himself to look away, silently telling himself to focus.
"Maybe…maybe you should step closer to the light," he suggested.
He forced himself to take a step closer—to her and to the lamp. She followed his instruction slowly, turning her back to him. From the movement of her hands, it was easy to guess she was reaching for the tie of her robe.
"Most of it is on my back," she explained, sliding the fabric down to her waist, exposing the bare skin of her back.
The motel lighting was far from ideal, and Spencer had no choice but to step in even closer. In fact, he had to stand right behind her, lower his head to focus on the small marks on her skin, partially hidden by her hair. He hesitated before moving his hand. Slowly—making an effort to steady his breathing so she wouldn’t hear how close he was—he slid his fingers under her hair, carefully sweeping it to one side.
She didn’t tremble, but her shoulders lifted and fell in an uneven rhythm, signaling a shift in her breathing.
He knew it was tied to fear and uncertainty, and he didn’t want to leave her trapped in that state any longer than necessary. At the same time, he couldn’t say with certainty whether the small bumps on her skin were the same ones they had found on the previous victims.
Swallowing hard, he leaned in even closer before pulling back slightly to get a wider perspective, comparing the shape, color, and pattern of the marks in his mind. The woman glanced at him over her shoulder. Noticing that he had drawn back a little, she must have assumed he was finished, because she turned to face him. Completely. Still without pulling the robe back over herself.
"There’s a bit here too. It’s the same thing, really, but it’s better if you check everything," she said.
Spencer’s gaze lowered—slowly—from her face, from her lips forming the words, down along the length of her body.
He really hoped his face wasn’t betraying him, that it showed nothing beyond pure, clinical focus. Especially since she hadn’t taken her eyes off him for even a second, searching his expression for the answer she so desperately wanted.
But he still wasn’t sure.
Something flickered in his mind—a thought, a doubt.
The problem was that forcing himself to speak felt almost impossibly difficult.
"May I?" he asked hesitantly, raising his hand slightly but keeping it suspended in place, waiting for permission.
"Well, if it’s necessary, doctor," she murmured, a husky note in her voice.
Spencer took a breath, trying to clear his mind, and slowly placed his fingers against the marks at the center of her chest, where they seemed to intensify toward the right side. He moved carefully, lightly, feeling the texture against her skin, tracing them with deliberate slowness. The moment the answer registered in his mind, he stopped abruptly and pulled his hand back, letting it fall to his side.
The woman's eyes widened in anticipation of his response.
"It's not the same," he blurted out, his voice sinking into a wave of relief that caught him off guard.
She raised an eyebrow at the certainty in his tone.
"Are you lying just to get rid of me?"
"What? No, look…or rather…okay, you don’t have a point of reference, but trust me. The rash on the victims’ bodies was different from this. Sure, the placement and distribution are similar, but theirs had raised bumps, while yours are flatter, almost embedded in the skin. Do you get what I mean?" he explained hastily.
It didn’t help that she still hadn’t pulled her robe back on, as if waiting for him to change his mind.
"Also, the color is slightly different, which I can tell even with this terrible lighting. You’re not infected."
She kept glancing at him with a certain skepticism. Slowly, unfazed, she slid both arms fully into the sleeves of her robe, covering her back. But before tying it, she focused on pulling her hair out from under the fabric.
"Then what is it?" she asked, furrowing her brows.
He had expected her to be happier when he told her she wasn’t about to bleed out from some mysterious substance in her system. Spencer shrugged.
"A regular rash, an allergic reaction—I have no idea," he admitted honestly. "Maybe it’s the motel water, the towel, the sheets…anything you’ve come into contact with," he suggested, watching as her lips pursed slightly. That reaction made him think he had probably hit the mark.
And now that the tension between them had eased—no looming threat of her imminent death and, perhaps less critically but still relevant, she was no longer standing half-naked in front of him—he allowed himself a small, amused scoff.
"Maybe your luxury skin just doesn’t get along with cheap motel bedding."
Her lips parted slightly, and for the first time in their entire acquaintance, she was the one at a loss for words. When she briefly dropped her gaze, he sensed…embarrassment?
Somehow, the thought that she might actually be flustered—because of him, no less—felt more abstract than the fact that she had just undressed in front of him.
"I should’ve known that," she muttered to herself. "It’s not transmitted through contact. My team already ruled that out."
So all of her embarrassment stemmed purely from the fact that she had second-guessed her own intelligence and judgment—not from the fact that she had barged into the motel room of someone who wasn’t even really a friend and asked him to examine her breast.
Spencer exhaled briefly, a flicker of disbelief passing through him as he processed that realization. But he didn’t comment. Because, honestly, had he expected anything different? This was her, after all.
Realizing it was all over, she turned on her heel and headed for the door with her usual brisk stride. One moment, she was in front of him; the next, she was already at the exit, pulling it open. He half-expected her to walk out without a word, slamming the door behind her in frustration at herself.
But at the last second, she turned her head toward him. First, she pressed her lips together—then a small smirk formed.
"Thanks, doc," she quipped. "That was a truly professional breast exam."
Spencer simply closed his eyes for a second, wondering if this was the moment he should officially add her to his list of the most unserious people he knew.
"You’re welcome. Seriously—tried my best."
yes, this was inspired by an x-files episode xoxo
#diva reader ♱#criminal minds fic#criminal minds#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid#spencer reid criminal minds#criminal minds fanfic#dr spencer reid#doctor spencer reid#spence reid#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal mind#dr spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you
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card trick | s.r.
in which you broach a subject with Spencer that you're sure will be a dealbreaker - you don't want kids
margovember
who? spencer reid x fem!reader category: flangst content warnings: child-free by choice, magic tricks, selfishness (like. reader thinks she's selfish), chemist!reader word count: 1.08k a/n: this was lowkey hard to write because i do in fact want kids myself and i'm such a dad!spencer truther. but there was some fun within the challenge!!! ily <3
“Do you want to talk about it?” Spencer asked, watching as you braced yourself against the wall and kicked off your shoes, nudging them in the hallway until they were in place.
You hummed in response, “About what?” You inquired casually, proceeding to hand your coat on the rack and pull the sleeves of your sweater down. Avoiding his gaze, you bulldozed through to the kitchen, searching through the cabinets for an appropriate mug to make tea in.
He followed you to the kitchen, grabbing a mug and holding it out for you to take. You didn’t live here, but you knew your way around so well that someone might’ve gotten that idea. “Whatever it is that made you get so quiet tonight,” Spencer prodded, leaning over the kitchen counter and propping himself up.
Filtering through his tea collection, you faltered for a moment before continuing, picking a chamomile tea bag and flicking on the electric kettle. The two of you had just gotten back from dinner at Rossi’s, your second one since you and Spencer had started dating, where you watched Spencer spend hours doing magic tricks with Henry and Jack. You shook your head, watching the water in the kettle as it began to boil.
“Are you feeling alright?” Spencer asked, wondering if you had a physical ailment that was causing you to shut down. He had picked you up straight from work, maybe you were just exhausted.
This time you nodded, opening the wrapper for the tea bag and tossing the foil in the bin, “Yeah, long day,” you admitted, “Did you want tea?”
Spencer was quiet for a moment, watching as you instinctively grabbed another mug and prepared a cup of tea for him as well. It was starting to get chilly outside, so a warm tea was likely to have healing properties, “Have I done something?”
Now, you ignored his question, grabbing the mugs and bringing them over to the coffee table. You sat on the couch, nestling yourself into the corner and pulling a knit blanket over your lap. In your periphery, you watched him sit on the opposite side of the couch, and it was beyond your control when you finally spoke up, “Do you want kids?”
“I’ve never really given it much thought,” he responded, and you nearly flinched at his answer, convinced he was lying to save your feelings.
You shifted on the couch, staring down into the murkiness of your tea, “What does that mean?”
He pressed his lips in a thin white line for a moment as if he were considering his options, “I’ve never really been in a relationship where that was a discussion to have, so I’ve never done an in-depth evaluation of whether or not I want kids of my own.” He set his mug down on the coffee table and turned to you, “But I take it you have.”
Slowly, you nodded, skimming the handle of your mug with the pad of your thumb, “I don’t want kids,” you whispered, closing your eyes as soon as the words were out there.
Spencer was quiet, and you were afraid that the finality in your voice would be the reason you lost him forever. No more BAU family dinners at Rossi’s. No more phone calls seeking help on a case. No more whispering nonsensical science puns to each other in the middle of the night when you should be asleep. You were surprised when he answered, “That’s okay with me.”
You lifted your head, craning your neck to the side so you could determine whether or not he was messing with you. Instead, earnest brown eyes stared back at you, “It is?”
He shrugged lightly, “Admittedly, I’m not too fond of the idea of choosing between a family and the BAU. I’ve seen enough wedges driven and bridges burned to know that that’s not something I want to experience first-hand.”
“It’s just never felt like the right thing for me,” you elaborated on your own feelings, still not convinced of his. “Sometimes I… I think I’m too selfish to be a mother,” you confessed, setting your mug down and pulling your knees to your chest. “I see people around me and the things they sacrifice for their children, and I don’t think that could ever be something I do, Spence. It’s not in the cards for me.”
Cocking his head at you, Spencer studied you for a moment, “If you don’t want to be a mother, then you don’t have to.”
Your eyes burned fiercely at his words, so shocked by his response to what had sent previous boyfriends running for the hills. “I think maybe you should take some time to think about this because you said you never have before,” you advised him cautiously, setting your chin on your knee.
He shook his head dismissively, “I don’t need to think about it. If it’s a choice between you and some hypothetical children, then it’s really no choice at all.”
Closing your eyes, you let tears fall freely down your cheeks, “I just don’t want you to wake up someday and resent me for not giving you children. I don’t want you to roll over in bed and think about how I’ve somehow failed you.”
It was that statement that prompted Spencer to reach out to you, he tenderly looped an arm around your shoulders and pressed a kiss to your temple. “I could never resent you for making a decision about yourself like that, do you understand?”
“You’re just so good with them,” you bemoaned, recalling the flashing images of Spencer doing card tricks for the kids and refusing to reveal his secrets to them.
Spencer smiled softly at you, “It’s easy when you don’t actually have to do the raising of the children. I’m more than comfortable with my title of godfather and uncle.”
“But what if you need more?” You asked desperately, still horrified by your hypothetical day where Spencer wakes up with hate in his heart.
His other arm looped around you, pulling you closer to him, “Trust me when I say this: you are more than enough for me.” He squeezed you gently, “I can be good with kids and be perfectly content with never having any of my own. Those two things can coexist.”
Nodding absentmindedly, you leaned your head onto his shoulder, “Thank you,” you breathed, silent tears still streaming down your cheeks only to be swept away by your boyfriend’s deft fingers.
#criminal minds#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#criminal minds fanfic#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid angst#spencer reid fluff#criminal minds fluff#criminal minds fanfiction#spencer reid x you#spencer reid fanfiction#criminal minds angst#spencer reid fic#criminal minds fic#spencer reid x fem!reader#written by margot#chemist!reader#margovember
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Skilled in chemistry and medicine, Marie Meurdrac (c. 1610–1680) wrote a pioneering treatise aimed at women. Her commitment, independence, and love for science shine through her writings.
An independent chemist
Little is known of Marie’s private life. Both her parents, Vincent Meurdrac and Elizabeth Dovet, belonged to the local nobility. Her younger sister Catherine, also known as Madame de la Guette, was known for having written her memoirs and for defending her estates during the wars that plagued France in the 17th century.
A little more information can be deduced from Marie’s writings. The first is that she had her own laboratory and was passionate about scientific experiments. She was used to rudimentary equipment, but was also aware of the latest, more elaborate advancements.
She also had a mind of her own. Her recipes deviated from the traditional remedies of the time. Her frequent use of certain plants, such as rosemary, suggests solid medicinal knowledge.
Marie was convinced of the equality between men and women, as well as the need to improve women’s education. She denounced men’s tendency to criticize women’s work and contributions and asserted that women’s intelligence and spirit equaled that of men.
Charitable and easy Chemistry for women
Marie is mainly known for her work De la Chimie charitable et facile en faveur des femmes (Charitable and Easy Chemistry for Women), published in 1666. While it wasn’t the first work on chemistry written by a woman, it remains a pioneering one, aimed specifically at a female audience.
Divided into six parts, the book presents the scientific discoveries of the time in an accessible way. Starting with materials and techniques for distillation, Marie also addresses herbal remedies. The final section deals with the preparation of cosmetics.
Marie was indeed concerned by the fact that women were using cosmetics on their faces without knowing what they were made of. She therefore decided to teach them how to make their own and explained how to protect the skin from the sun, whiten the teeth, help hair regrow, redden the lips and cheeks, and many other things.
Recipe for making hair regrow:
Take white vine root, hemp root and tender cabbage cores, two handfuls each: dry then burn, and make a lye from the ashes. Before washing your head with this lye, rub it with honey, and continue to do both for three days.
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Further reading:
Chastrette M., “Marie Meurdrac”
Flahaut Jean, "La chimie et les dames au XVIIe siècle : Marie Meurdrac, La Chymie charitable et facile, en faveur des Dames"
Ogilvie Marilyn Bailey, Harvey Joy Dorothy, The Biographical Dictionary of Women in Science: L-Z
#marie meurdrac#france#french history#17th century#historyedit#history#women in history#women's history#herstory#female authors#feminism#female scientists#women in science#chemistry#women in STEM
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