#she loves her baby very much but her eyes are closed to the cycle she is a part of
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Moon Cycle 2 - a redraw of this piece.
#town of puddle#ocs#a few people were wondering about the meaning so I'll try to explain it#it's a bit about failing to be the daughter or child who fits in or lives up to expectations#it's also about mommy issues and passing those down in a cycle#hence moon cycle!#each of the little angels represents a mother and child#I was inspired by that one scene in Turning Red#the central figure is inspired by the pregnant woman in Klimt's Hope II#she's the symbolic Mother Moon#a fusion of all the mothers in the Moon family#she loves her baby very much but her eyes are closed to the cycle she is a part of#it's kind of a sad piece but it's also very much about motherly love
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𝐂𝐚𝐧 𝐈 𝐠𝐨 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐨? || 𝐉𝐨𝐞𝐥 𝐌𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐫 𝐱 𝐅𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
summary_ when medical supplies run out in Jackson, you volunteer to go to the mall as an alibi to get goodies for your family, only that your husband Joel isn’t pleased with your decision.
warnings_ age gap! (20s/ 50s) but not specifically stated so do what u want, protective! Joel, chill mother! reader, fluff, implied sex, smidge of angst, fallacy references. NO PROOFREAD
notes_ fallacy family is back, I missed them so much, I just re-edited the whole story, recommend reading it again although is not necessary for this fic.
✰ 𝙄𝙉𝘿𝙀𝙓 (𝙈𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩 𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚)
♪ ♫ 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙨𝙩 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙮𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩 𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙋𝙚𝙙𝙧𝙤 𝙃𝙀𝙍𝙀
• 「 𝐅𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐲: 𝐑𝐞𝐣𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐦𝐞, 𝐈 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐢𝐭 」
𖦹°���˚。⋆ 𓆸⋆。𖦹°⭒˚。⋆ 𓆸⋆。𖦹°⭒˚。⋆ 𓆸𖦹°⭒˚。⋆ 𓆸⋆。𖦹°⭒
1. Wash hands and prepare the wound. ...
2. Use your needle driver to grab the needle. ...
3. Use the tissue forceps to expose the side of the wound you'll begin the suture on. ...
4. Push the needle through the skin at a 90-degree angle about a centimeter to the right of the wound.
You read out loud with perfect grammatical rules, leaving perfect timing between commas and periods. It’s been a year and a half since you started teaching and a new cycle had begun by late summer.
“Now follow the pattern I just demonstrated and I’ll pass around to see your progress” you softly indicated with a smile to your students.
Everyone was great, you held back a new smile when you passed by Ellie’s table. She smirks at you in disguise and you give her a thumbs up to cheer her up.
Mrs. Miller is so hot, you’re so lucky to live with her….
You want to laugh so hard after hearing Ellie’s friends failing to whisper those words.
Everyone knew you were married to the mighty Joel Miller. The town knew you were Tommy and Maria’s sister-in-law. They knew you were a great nurse and teacher. And they loved it when they heard Mrs. Miller would organize the holiday events of Jackson.
“Okay, guys. You did great. Tomorrow we’ll keep the practice of sewing and cleaning superficial wounds. Now get out of here” They happily started leaving one by one saying goodbye to you.
Ellie seemed to be arguing with his friend. She continuously rolled her eyes and sighed until the boy smiled at you and left. So you raised an eyebrow towards the girl and she stood up finally.
“Are you coming back home with me or are you gonna go play with your friend?”
“Jesse is not my friend and of course, I’m going home with you. Rosalie and Rae are still coming for dinner, right?” You nod at her, giggling because of her attitude.
“You should take Jesse as your friend. He is a nice boy” Ellie only rolled her eyes once again.
“He’s annoying as well as his other friend named Dina. They are awkward and they are not as funny as Rosalie, Cerise, Joel, and you” she admits closing her backpack.
“Aww, Ellie! That’s so sweet of you…”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah… But let’s go, your baby must be very fussy”
Damn, she’s right. Your little baby was a bolter, Cerise Miller was eleven months old. She had started trying to waddle and she often repeated vague words. Usually courtesy of her father; Joel loved his little angel and always talked to her.
You would never get tired of going straight to your little family after a long day.
“Would you like non-flour biscuits and steak for dinner?” Ellie nodded smiling but then frowned.
“You know I’d love to but… our rations for the week won’t be enough… Oh, and don’t you dare to ask Maria and Tommy for more, that would be very embarrassing” she said as you could only be laughing at her.
“You wouldn’t mind if I asked them, you don’t want me to do it because that would give you less right to be mean to them”
“Maybe…”
After closing the classroom, you and Ellie exit the little building that served as a school. It was the middle of the week and summer remained peaking as autumn was around the corner.
“Hey… Can I ask you a question?” Ellie nodded at you.
“Sure…”
“Do your classmates think that we are like… mother and daughter?” You asked with a shy tone.
The streets were kind of busy as you and the fifteen-year-old girl started your way towards home.
“Nah… they know were like… friends or sisters? Besides… everyone knows you’re very chill” she admitted.
“I ain’t a chill person. I’m fair… that’s it”
“You’re chill, y/n. With your students, with your friends, with me, with your daughter, and even with Joel. And that drives him crazy” You smiled at the thought of your handsome husband.
A couple of weeks ago, the man came and decided to celebrate your first wedding anniversary by taking you to the same strawberry field where Cerise was born. It was romantic, then Maria arranged a little dinner for you two while she and Tommy took Cerise and Ellie for the night. That night Joel fucked you so damn good that you had to be very careful the following weeks, thinking you were pregnant once again. False alarm.
“But you shouldn’t be very chill with the other kids in class,” Ellie said.
“Why?”
“The boys are always drooling for you, especially the older ones. They keep saying you are a MILF” your eyes were wide open after she said that.
“Oh.”
“You know what that means”
“I sure do,” you said avoiding her gaze as you crossed another street.
“Can you tell me what it means?”
You’re a chill teacher, friend, mother, and wife. So you nodded at her.
“I can tell you, but I don’t to hear you saying it”
“Sure, man. I promise” Ellie sweared.
“It stands for Mom I’d Like To Fuck…” Ellie blushed immediately, making you laugh embarrassed as well.
“I told you so…” you said, finally arriving home.
You open the door of the house and the first thing you notice is Maria and Tommy’s kid there. He smiles and you lock the door before kneeling to greet him.
“Hello, kid. How are you? Have you been taking care of my angel?” You questioned the two-year-old boy with a kiss on his cheek. He could only coo and giggle.
“My little man has been a gentleman with Cerise since we arrived” Maria appeared with your daughter in her arms. She immediately asked to be in your arms and started squirming.
“Hi, little heart” you greeted her, kissing her hair that smelled like plums and sugar like her shampoo. She had the same soft hair and kind eyes as Joel. Something that always made you smile.
“What’s up, Cerise?” Ellie greeted your daughter, taking off her shoes and hanging her backpack near the entrance of the house.
“Okay, little man and I need to leave. We promised Tommy to have a movie night and they are almost back from patrol. Must get going…” Maria announced giving a quick hug and a squeeze on the hand of Cerise before saying one last goodbye and leaving with her kid.
“Hey, y/n. You never said how you got more meat for dinner?” You smirk to yourself, placing Cerise in her baby walker. It was old as hell, probably from the nineties. Joel had said it looked very similar to the baby walker Sarah had.
“Let’s say Star and I went to have a little hunting trip” you revealed, entering the kitchen and being followed by Cerise.
“If Joel finds out, you’re dead”
“I’m the chill wife. What can I say?” Both of you started laughing.
“Just be careful, y/n. Please…” Ellie said, so you reassured her by squeezing her shoulder.
“Always, Ellie. For my family, always…”
“Sudden change of subject but you know what would be awesome? A new lunchbox…” you turned to look at her backpack. It was the same backpack that traveled from the Boston QZ to Jackson. The lunch you made for her usually was a mess after a couple of hours.
“I’ll see what I can do to get you a new one. I also need new clothes for Cerise, farting isn’t enough to deflate her, she keeps growing” Ellie started laughing.
“Mind you, she’s your daughter, y/n”
“So? She’s my little heart but she’s still a stinky furball at times” you said kneeling to kiss and annoy Cerise, who cooed and screamed in happiness.
-
When Joel arrived home the sun had almost disappeared completely. He opened the door and was greeted by the sight of Ellie and you chasing Cerise, who was still on her baby walker, cooing loudly.
A big smile was planted on his face.
“Joel… Is that you, honey?” You asked, sounding agitated.
“Yes, dear.” You appear in his line of vision, wearing a pink sundress and bare feet.
He greets you in his arms, giving you a big kiss.
“Mmm… I missed you” you admitted.
“We made love this morning, y/n”
“So? We can be apart half an hour and I’ll miss you like I haven’t seen you in a year” he chuckled, kissing you once again. Only to be interrupted by something colliding at his feet.
Both of you look down, encountering Cerise, who has a toothy smile.
“Da-da… dad!” Joel immediately picked her up. Ellie came to the scene too, drinking from a glass of water and spreading some hair away from her face, only to greet Joel and then disappear upstairs.
“Hello, angel” It was a rare day when Joel didn't wake up questioning if he wasn’t dreaming. Even a year after coming back from Salt Lake City with Ellie and you, he couldn’t believe his new life. Where he lived near Tommy, he was married again, now working, unlike the first time. His wife was a young woman and gave him a daughter.
“Rosalie and Rae got caught up with work so they won’t join us for dinner. But they’re coming tomorrow with Tommy and Maria” Your husband nodded at you, playing with Cerise as she fought to grab Joel’s beard, which tickled her but couldn’t stop doing so.
“Oh, that’s terrible” his sarcastic tone was evident, which made you smile.
“What? Darlin’ you know I only want to be with my girls” Before he could hug you from behind, he placed Cerise on the carpet of the living room.
“Go take a shower and tell Ellie to come down, Texas” Your playful smile resulted contagious to him, so he got closer to kiss your cheek and spank your ass before leaving upstairs too.
-
Just by the time your family and you finished dinner, Cerise was already upstairs sleeping with Ellie. You and Joel were cleaning up the dishes as you listened to an old cassette player and said bad jokes.
Suddenly, someone knocked on the door and both of you exchanged looks.
“I’ll take it…” you said.
When you open the door, you see Rosalie standing.
“Rosalie… What happened?”
“We need you in the clinic. One of the technicians had an accident and needs a little surgery” you gasped, feeling Joel coming to the door to slide a hand in your waist as he heard Rosalie.
“That’s why the power went out for some seconds?” Joel asked and Rosalie nodded.
“Yup… please, y/n” you nodded.
“Let me get my hoodie. Joel, Can you stay and check on the girls?”
“Sure, go on, darlin’…”
After another big kiss, you hurry along with Rosalie to get to the clinic.
-
“He is going to be fine, just one broken finger. There’s just one problem, we don’t have any cast…” Maria and one of the council members sigh, looking at each other. Jeremy was a thirty-four-year-old male technician who fell while trying to fix some wires. He had a little concussion and you stitched two of his fingers that were slightly burnt. His broken finger was the issue until you remembered the mall near Jackson.
“Maybe we have some materials to improvise a cast…”
“Or I can make a quick trip to the mall and get some supplies.”
“Maybe it’s not the best idea, y/n…”
“You know it’s mostly clear, perhaps one or two infected but it’s okay. Besides… I’ve proven to be trustworthy to go…” you had done some patrols along with Tommy and Joel, and they didn’t have any complaints about you.
“I guess not… Have you been inside the mall before?”
“Yes…” you lied.
The truth is you wanted to go alone to take your time. You had gone to the little abandoned market before, but the mall was different. While your priority was the medical supplies, you also had other interests. You wanted to get Ellie a new lunchbox, clothing for Cerise, and some flannels for Joel.
“Alright. Joel is going with you” Maria said and you nodded but maybe you wouldn’t let him know. He’d lock you before letting you go to the mall alone.
“Hey… Is it too late for a haircut?” You asked her.
“Nah… let’s go.”
-
The following morning, you leave a note for Ellie telling her the truth. And for Joel, a note that said you were going back to the clinic and then to school, that he take care of Cerise, and that you loved him so much.
After a quick breakfast, you ended up at the stables, saddling up Star.
“Goin’ somewhere, darlin’…?” Startled you don’t dare to turn back, but you know it’s your husband.
Shit, he’s gonna fuck me… and not like I’d want to.
“Oh hi, honey”
“Don’t bullshit me with that. Were you planning on tellin’ me you’re going to the mall alone?”
“You would’ve said no and we would’ve argued…”
“I’m coming with you. Now quit talkin’ 'cause I’m not very happy with you right now” he said, going for his horse.
Once you are ready to go, Joel finally faces you.
“You changed your hair…” you looked different, still gorgeous to his eyes.
“Yeah... Maria helped me out yesterday after the clinic incident. You like it?…”
“I love it, baby.” He had you blushing like a teenager and you hadn’t even left Jackson yet.
“Thanks, Joel” he smiled, knowing he couldn’t be mad at you any longer.
“Oh what the hell, come ‘ere, gorgeous.” You get close and he leans to passionately kiss you.
“I have the hottest wife, you know?” Pushing him gently, you start going back towards Star, avoiding his eyes with a giant smile.
“And I have the hottest husband, you know?”
“Deaf with a demolished back but I’m your old man,” he said, hugging you from behind, letting you he was half hard while feeling his cock against your ass.
“You got hard with my new haircut?”
“Course’ I would, darlin’. Can’t wait to see those little bangs against your forehead when I get you riding me” You sure reached a new level of embarrassment at that moment. And you thanked the stables were clear of humans.
“OKAY-… where did you leave my daughter, Texas?”
“Our daughter is with Tommy, California Dreamin’…”
“Good. Let’s go then…” you said smiling, finally leaving the town.
-
The mall was definitely not what you expected.
“So people used to come here to eat, shop, and just hang out in general?” Joel nodded, cautiously holding a flashlight with one hand and his rifle with the other.
“That’s right, love”
“This reminds me of the library you took me back in Boston” Joel sighed.
He remembered the man he was back then. Still grieving his past, being cold and mean towards the woman he saved. You were a broken and weak woman. And yet, you always smiled at him.
Your birthday was coming and Joel was tired of your intellectual talks, so he took you to pick some books. Now he understands he did that because deep down he already loved you back then.
He could also see you had bloomed into a new woman, and he couldn’t help but feel like he had fallen in love again.
“I was an asshole towards you.” He admitted walking through the mall.
“You were. But neither of us gave up on each other. And look at us now….” you optimistically said.
“We have a house, we have jobs, two kids and we’re having a date in a scary abandoned mall” Joel chuckled.
“This ain’t a date, baby”
“It is, shut up, Joel,” you said.
Since the priority was the medical supplies, that’s where you headed first. Then, you dragged Joel to get Ellie’s lunchbox, the only one available was one of Wonder Woman so you took it. Then, thankfully, you found a baby store.
“Oh my god! Look at these, Joel! She’s gonna look so fucking adorable!” You said showing him a pair of cowgirl boots.
“She could match you. Since you really love your boots, baby” Joel teased, crossing his arms, allowing himself to relax just a tiny bit. He knew you loved your brown boots, you wore them the whole year. With jeans, skirts, dresses, everything.
“Okay, just the boots and this adorable set of seasonal pajamas” One set was purple with orange and corn candies for Halloween, the other had pumpkins and pies, the other one of hearts, and a last one of snowflakes, cookies, and Christmas trees.
“Have you seen how Cerise is starting to bite everything?”
“Her teeth must be coming soon…” Joel confirmed, taking your hand to lead you out of the store.
Besides the baby store, there was a place full of underwear, perfumes, and feminine stuff.
“What’s Victoria’s Secret?”
“Lingerie and womanly stuff store” you nod, getting a closer look. Some pretty sets had you imagining modeling them for your husband.
“And what was her secret?”
“Oh c’mon, baby, let’s keep going.” He said gently pushing you.
“Wait. Don’t you want to fuck me in one of those sets?” Joel blushed and acted like he was debating whether to agree with you or not. But both of you knew the real answer.
“Your silence says it all, Joel.” And with that, you entered the store.
It was completely stocked and seemed like nobody had come in hopes of scavenging something.
“This is so pretty…” you say grabbing a black bra. Joel could only follow you like a lost puppy.
“Joel… pink or purple?” He looked at the two options and pointed at one.
“Pink…”
“Naughty boy…” you said smirking and he rolled his eyes.
“I like this one…” Joel showed you, it was a seen-through tulle nightgown in maroon and lilac tones.
“Then we’re taking it home with us too” You finally start packing all of your favorite ones and you notice there's still some available space in your backpack.
You load your gun before nodding at Joel, letting him know you are ready.
“Where is your bow?” He asked.
“Left it at home…” you had gotten very good using the bow and arrows and with Joel teaching you how to skin animals, you often went on solo hunts. Not that he knew that.
Suddenly both of you grow quiet after hearing something shatter and then crashing nearby.
Joel indicated you to keep quiet while peaking through the entrance of the store.
A clicker passed by and you had to hold a big scream by covering your mouth. Since those things were blind, you were safe for a moment.
“Stay behind me…when I tell you to run… we run, y/n. Understood?” He whispered inches away from you.
“Joel… “ you whispered back when you saw the clicker entering the store. He protectively stood in front of you and pointed at the infected in case of anything. You also gripped the trigger of your weapon.
The disgusting sound of click click click was driving you insane. But you and Joel were so close to the exit that neither of you noticed the frame of a poster on the floor, so when Joel tripped over, the clicker immediately reacted, jumping towards the sound, and ending on top of Joel.
“JOEL!”
One bad aim and you could kill Joel, so you have to act quick and smartly. The clicker moved extremely fast while your husband tried to push him away.
“Run, y/n!” you wouldn’t leave your husband alone. Never…
With zero patience and lots of faith, you shot twice, and to your luck, both bullets went straight to the clicker’s head. The dead body of the creature was lying beside your husband. So you ran to help him.
“Are you okay? No bites, right?” Joel hurried to calm you, leading you outside of the store, finally.
“No bites, baby. I’m okay” You nodded, sighing in relief.
“Let’s get the fuck out of here” you added, hearing the distant sounds of more clickers approaching, probably from the second floor that was actually below where you had been collecting stuff.
-
The way back home is slightly quieter. Joel knows you were still a little taken aback by the incident back at the mall. So as the two of you were still riding your horses, he turned to see you.
He adored his wife so much.
“You were amazin’ back there, baby”
“What?”
“Yeah, the way you perfectly pulled the trigger and killed the clicker. Your hand never shakin’…” you smiled briefly.
“I just wished you were… immune too. It would be a little less stressful” Joel sighed.
“Hey, I’m not immune but I’m perfectly capable of coming back to you. I’ve done this for more than twenty years. And for you and the girls… I’d do it forever”
“Aww, honey. I love you so much!”
He is in love. He can’t recognize the woman you have become. You are stronger, funnier, and more vivid if that was even possible. And he knows you can’t recognize the man he transformed into. A man who treated you with adoration. Who wasn’t afraid of showing how much he loved you.
“You know? You were my savior once but now… you are the reason why I will save myself every time. To come back to you and the girls too…”
“I love you too, y/n. So fucking much, baby”
“I know…” you said cheekily, smiling at him.
It was then that a sudden memory came to you, making you giggle.
“Hey Joel… Want to know what Ellie’s classmates call me?” Joel frowns confused but then nods.
“Sure?…”
“They say I’m a MILF” Joel couldn’t help but laugh hard, on the verge of tears.
“Well, you are, darlin’… But that’s a pleasure I will be the only one to have” you blushed.
“Of course, I would not risk my life at Victoria’s Secret for any other man than you, Joel” he remembered the sets you got and he could feel himself getting hard again.
“Fuck… I miss Cerise and Ellie but I really want to get back to having you in bed with all those sets you borrowed”
“Fine, but you clean the dishes and kitchen today” he nods, smiling cockily at you.
“Sure, now let’s get going, Mom I’d like to fuck…”
“JOEL!” He loved teasing you and seeing you get all flustered.
______________________________________
#joel miller x reader#pedro pascal x reader#pedro pascal#joel miller x female reader#joel miller x you#pedro pascal fanfiction#pedro pascal smut#joel x reader#the last of us x reader
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☾ ━━━━━━ 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐬
☾ ━━━ PAIRING: HYUNJIN X READER ☾ ━━━ CONTENT: ALIEN!HYUNJIN, PLANETARY SCIENTIST!READER, SEMI-PUBLIC SEX, BREEDING, APHRODISIAC, SPIT, LIP BITING, TEASING, PET NAMES (DOLL, HUN, DARLING, BABY), NIPPLE PLAY, FINGERING, OVERSIM, READER IS VERY SENSITIVE THE WHOLE TIME, BIG COCK! HYUNJIN, TENTACLES, PRAISE/DEGRADING, CERVIX FUCKING, EGG IMPLANTING, ROUGH SEX, UNPROTECTED SEX, DOM!HYUNJIN, SUB!READER, SUBSPACE (?), TUMMY BULDGE (?), INFLATION (?) ☾ ━━━ WC: 2.8K ☾ ━━━ repost from old blog ☾ ━━━ 18+ work!! minors and ageless/blank blogs DNI! you will be blocked, put an indicator on your blog somewhere that you are 18+ before interacting with this work/blog
Space was massive. So much to learn about, star formations, their life cycle, other galaxies, planets, and solar systems. The unknown drew Y/n in. Maybe that’s why she fell for Hyunjin so hard.
He was different. Loved the fact she was a planetary scientist. Constantly asked her questions that had her rambling for hours on end. First, it embarrassed her but he always reassured her he found it so adorable when she rambled about her work. He loved hearing about her theories on extraterrestrial life. Not knowing he crash-landed on Earth from another planet.
At least, she didn’t know at first. She had a deep feeling there was something about him that just wasn’t right. Came up with several hypotheses before he sat her down when he came to pick her up from work and explained to her he was indeed an alien.
He was scared. Scared he’d lose her and be stuck alone on Earth until he figured out how to get his stupid ship working again.
But that didn’t happen. No, he saw her eyes sparkle with excitement over the news. Running around her private lab asking him if any of the planets she’d found were his. What was it like in his home world? How was the air? technology? any question that popped into her head
He was sure she was going to implode with excitement the more questions she thought of. That was the night he first kissed her too. It was only a few months ago it happened but it almost seemed like years away.
Since then, he picked her up from work every night. It was rare they left on time. Y/n easily indulged in her work, especially when she could interview an actual alien about his home world. Tonight was no different.
She was so engrossed in her work that she didn’t even hear him come into the lab. Focused on her computer, examining photos of a planet and its moons. She didn’t hear him come in. He closed the door as gently as he could behind him and silently made his way over to her. He stood behind her and slowly leaned down with the intent to kiss the top of her head.
Y/n felt someone behind her and looked back to see the handsome alien pouting at his failed kiss, “Hi Hyune.”
“Ruined my surprise kiss.”
“Can I still get a kiss?”
Hyunjin smiled and cupped her face and pecked her lips, “How’s work?”
“Mhmm. Not bad, just trying to figure out if this planet could sustain life.”
Hyunjin took a look at the planet on the screen. It was a few lightyears away from his own and he’d seen it a couple of times traveling.
“A small one, I think. I can’t exactly remember,” Hyunjin stated as he pulled up a chair next to her
Y/n smiled at him, “I should press you for info on all my exoplanet discoveries.”
“Do I get a reward for all my info?” Hyunjin smiled, pulling her chair closer to him.
“Maybe.”
Hyunjin pulled her into his lap and she squeaked in surprise. Holding onto his shoulders before settling on his lap. “I want a kiss for every piece of alien info I tell you,” Hyunjin stated
“Deal.” Y/n figured it would be harmless. A kiss for info and she got to cuddle her boyfriend while working? Score.
She rewarded him with a peck on his plump lips for the info he previously provided her. She went through some more plants and asked him questions, rewarding him with kisses after he finished answering.
“What about reproduction? Is it similar for all species or is it different?” She asked
“Different. Some have eggs, some are similar to how humans breed. Most species I know have a breeding season.” Hyunjin explained.
Y/n pecked his lips, “What about you? What’s your species’ reproduction like?”
“Mhm. Most liquids in our bodies are similar to aphrodisiacs. It makes the process easier for the female.”
“Process?” Y/n asked
“Hm. Kiss first,” Hyunjin puckered his lips at her
Y/n pecked his lips again. “What process?”
“Egg implanting.”
Y/n’s eyes went wide. Her ears felt like they were on fire, mouth wide open. Hyunjin chuckled and closed her jaw before pecking her lips.
“Don’t go too dumb on me yet doll,” Hyunjin teased, placing a kiss on her shoulder
“When—“ Y/n cleared her throat before wrapping her arms around his neck, “When’s your breeding season?”
“Mm, should be starting in a couple of days.”
Y/n pecked his lips one last time, “Let’s go home, that’s enough information for today.”
Two days went by far too slowly. Y/n used the prior day to let the information her boyfriend had told her to settle in. Today, she was so unfocused with work. The day was going by way too slowly. Most of the time was spent thinking about what he had said.
She read stories on the internet of people claiming they’d been abducted by aliens— in most cases “Grays”— and essentially became a human incubator. The truth behind them was up for debate. No one ever had evidence other than the supposed victim’s word.
Y/n was lost in her thoughts thinking about it when she felt arms wrap around her waist. She jumped and turned around, being met with the smiling face of her boyfriend calmed her down.
“You alright?” he asked
“Yeah. Just scared me,” She replied as she turned in his arms and kissed his lips.
Hyunjin smiled into the kiss and kissed, holding onto her hips. “What’s got you lost in thought?” He asked as he broke the kiss.
Y/n couldn't find the words to tell him what it was she was thinking about. How do you tell your alien boyfriend you’d been thinking about him breeding you for two days?
“Talk to me hun,” Hyuniin said and kissed her cheek.
“Do you remember when we were talking about, uhm… you're breeding season,” Y/n started
“Yeah, why?”
“Don’t make me say it Hyune,” Y/n pleaded, face all red
“But how will I know what you want if you don't tell me?”
Hyunjin slowly backed her up into her desk. Y/n gripped his shirt, trying to gather any bit of courage to tell him.
Hyunjin grabbed her chin and lifted her lips to his. He licked his lower lip before pushing them onto her again. Y/n relaxed against him as she sat on her desk. Hyunjins hands moved up to cup her face, tilting her head back and deepening the kiss.
Y/n moaned against his lips, gripping his shirt tighter. Hyunjin pulled her bottom lip between his teeth and pulled away from the kiss. He locked eyes with her before releasing her lip. “Tell me what you want darling.”
“Want you to breed me,” Y/n finally let out
“Open your mouth,” Hyunjin smiled as he held her jaw as it fell open, “Tongue out.”
Y/n stuck her tongue out for him. Hyunjin hovered over her and let a glob of spit drop from his lips onto her tongue. “Swallow.”
Hyunjin watched her pull her tongue back into her mouth and swallow his spit. He tilted her head back and leaned down to kiss her neck and pull her legs around his waist. “Remember when I said most liquids in my body were similar to an aphrodisiac?” Hyunjin questioned
“Yes,” Y/n replied as his lips grazed over the weak spot on her neck
“Saliva is the main one.”
Her body felt so hot to every little touch. She wrapped her arms around his neck to hold herself up and he placed wet open mouth kisses on her neck. Pulling herself closer to him as his hands trailed down to unbutton her top.
He was quick to get the fabric off her and toss it to the ground. Hands grabbing her breasts and massaging them as he sucked his mark onto her neck.
Her hands pulled up at the collar of his shirt. Mumbling a quick “off” before he pulled away and tossed his shirt off. He grabbed her face again to bring his lips onto hers. Y/n caught a glimpse of his eyes before he was shoving his tongue down her throat. His usual dark brown eyes were a striking dark blue, the whites turning dark.
“Jinnie,” Y/n moaned after he pulled away and pushed the objects behind her out of the way, “your eyes…”
“What about them?” he asked as he looked over her face
“They changed.”
“Happens during arousal during the breeding process.” He briefly explained, unhooking her bra and pulling it off her chest.
He pushed her down on the desk and attacked her nipples. His hands slid under the skirt she wore today and his tongue flicked her nipples. He switched to the other bud and gave it the same brief treatment then pulled away.
Hyunjin pulled the remaining bit of fabric off her body till she was completely nude on her desk. He’d seen her completely nude before. His aphrodisiac saliva explained why everything felt so good when they’d had sex previously.
His physical appearance was very similar to humans. His eyes made her shy under his gaze. Her legs wrapped tighter around his waist as her hands moved to cover her chest. Hyunjin was quicker and pinned her wrists against the table.
“Don't. Wanna see you,” Hyunjin said as he leaned in and kissed her again. Both moaned into the kiss. Y/n snuck her tongue into his mouth.
Hyunjin pushed back with his own. Y/n ground her hips against his crotch.
“Need you Jinnie,” Y/n moaned when he pulled away
“All shy a second ago, now you're beginning for me.” Hyunjin chuckled as his hand dipped down between her legs.
His lips attached to her neck again, two fingers running through her wet folds. “Fucking soaked, all for me.” he groaned as he pushed two long fingers into her. Y/n just about came right there, probably just because of the aphrodisiac.
His fingers curled up into her. Her free hand grabbed onto his arm to ground herself, even a little. She felt so fucked out and they’d barely done anything too far.
“All sensitive aren't you,” Hyunjin teased as his lips came down to her breast again, “My pretty doll gonna come yet?”
“Yes! Please Jinnie! Wanna come for you!”
Hyunjin wrapped his lips around one of her hard nipples as he interested a third finger into her. Switching from curling his fingers into her to thrusting into her.
Her back arched off the surface as a silent screen fell from her mouth. Walls clamping down on his fingers. The knot in her stomach snapped soon after he started sucking on her nipples. Hyunjin fingered her through her high, pulling off her nipples and pulling his fingers out once she came down.
While she caught her breath, Hyunjin discarded his pants. Y/n glanced down at him as he pulled his cock out of his boxers. Somewhere in the back of her mind was questioning how exactly the egg implanting worked since his dick looked like a human dick. It was not in length, that was for sure.
Hyunjin grabbed her legs and pushed them wide open. “Are you ready hun?” he asked, lining his tip at her entrance, smearing his precum between her folds with her slick.
Y/n nodded, then she noticed the appendages sneaking out around his waist. Before she had time to ask, he pushed into her, fitting what he could before her cervix. There wasn’t any pain, just pleasure. His hands left her thighs and the two tentacles took over holding them open. His hands wrapped around hers and pinned her down onto the table below.
“You have tentacles too?” Y/n asked as she got adjusted to his length in her
“Yeah. Seven total,” He huffed
“Why are you only using two?”
Hyunjin smirked as three more came from over his shoulders Two wrapped around her breasts, tips latching onto her nipples as he started thrusting in and out of her. The third hovered and waited to be put to use. No time for her to ask where the sixth and seventh were.
The tentacles wrapped around her were smooth against her skin. Still sensitive from foreplay and his aphrodisiac spit. She was assuming his precum was another aphrodisiac.
Her back was already arching off the desk again as he stood back to watch her as he fucked her. He moved the third tentacle from to pin her arms down onto the desk above her head.
“Wish you could see yourself, baby. Look so good with my tentacles wrapped around you.” Hyunjin chuckled, picking up his pace.
The tentacles around her thighs helped by moving her body with his thrusts, lifting her off the desk just slightly.
“So deep,” Y/n moaned as her head lolled back against her desk, mouth hung open
Hyunjin laughed, he didn't know how much he’d enjoy having her all wrapped and dumb on his cock. “I could be deeper hun.”
“Please Jin… more,” Y/n moaned
Hyunjin smiled and pushed his hair back, shorter pieces sticking to his forehead from the sweat he had worked up. He leaned down and spit in her open mouth. Y/n swallowed it as he grabbed onto her hips, stilling inside her for a moment.
He pulled out for a moment, spitting in her cunt then pushing back in. But his dick felt different. No veins brushing against her gummy walls. It felt like there was nothing, but she knew he was filling her up.
Then she felt it. Something small wiggling its way past her cervix. “Jinnie.” Y/n whined as it got wider, pushing its way into her womb
“Relax doll. I got you,” Hyunjin shushed her. A smaller skinnier tentacle came from above his dick and latched onto her clit.
“Oh fuck,” Y/n’s voice jumped a good few octaves
“That’s my girl,” Hyunjin praised as filled her womb up. He could see his tip under her skin.
He picked his pace back up, fucking into her cervix as she became a babbling mess. This was such a normal thing for his species to go through during sex. But he loved seeing his human girlfriend all fucked out like this.
“Gonna carry my eggs for me doll? Be a good fucking incubator?” he groaned, his tentacles moving her body to meet his thrusts.
The tentacle holding her wrist brought her hands to him. Hyunjin grabbed her hands and pressed them onto her lower stomach. “You feel that doll?” Hyunjin asked
“Yes,” Y/n weakly answered
“Want you the feel me fill you up.”
He thrusted harder into her and the smaller tentacle worked her clit into hypersensitivity as he came all over him, liquids squirted out of her. The tentacle retracted back into him once it finished its job. The remaining still holding onto her and working her now swollen nipples and fucking her onto him.
“Such a good fucking hole,” Hyunjin groaned as he stilled, cum shooting into her womb.
Y/n could feel inside her and under her hand, small little balls filling her up along with his cum.
“‘S too much Jinnie,” Y/n whined as he pressed her hands into her harder
“You’re doing so good, baby. You can hold out a little longer till Jinnie’s done filling you with his eggs, right?” he pulled her up and attached his lips to hers, letting the eggs travel from him into her womb.
Once he was finished, he pulled out of her and laid her gently on the desk. Tentacles retracted into him again as she caught her breath, eyes drooping closed.
“Hyune,” Y/n called weakly
“Right here baby,” He said as he pulled her into his body
“Tired,” she grumbled.
“Go to sleep. I’ll get us home baby.”
Sleep she did. She didn't know how long she was going for but she woke up in the comfort of her bed with Hyunjin laying next to her, arms wrapped around her as he scrolled through his phone.
“Hyune,” she called
“Morning sleepy head,” he said as he put his phone down, “how are you feeling?”
“Fuzzy, weird. What happened?”
“You passed out not long after we finished. I got us dressed and brought you home to clean you up. Was waiting for you to wake up to order food.”
“Hm. Dinner sounds good right now.”
The two ordered dinner and Hyunjin grabbed it and brought it into the room when it got to her place. Feeding her even though she claimed she could do it herself.
While he was cleaning up from dinner, Y/n looked under her shirt. She could see a slight bump under the skin. Hyunjin walked into the room seconds later and lay on her lap, kissing her stomach.
“Think we’ll have little alien babies?” Y/n asked
“If they take. I’ve never bred before, let alone outside my home world.” he said, “either way, you look fucking gorgeous carrying my eggs.”
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PRESENTING . . . HOUSE OF BALLOONS!
⭒ ݁ . ໒꒱ SITUATIONSHIP GETO SUGURU X F!READER
⭒ ݁ . ໒꒱ CW : extreme toxicity; possessiveness; stalking; relationship sabotage; obsession; suguru is CRAZY, bro is an actual mastermind; reader cheats on her bf w/ suguru; consensual recording; manipulation; reader is a bit dumb; pet names used are baby, dollface, minx, lovely, angel; smut; dry humping, throat fucking, throat bulging, fingering, ruined orgasms, breeding kink, baby trapping, a mix of degradation and praise, breath play, slight bondage, edging & overstimulation, dumbification, sado-madochism, pain play, branding (suguru puts a cigarette out on reader three times as a way of claiming), cervix fucking, sir kink, HINTS of somnophilia (brief description of suguru fucking reader while she’s asleep); dick drunk reader; suguru has a dick piercing; pregnancy.
⭒ ݁ . ໒꒱ wc : 8.3k
⭒ ݁ . ໒꒱ guys this is actually so nasty and feral, im so so so sorry. this is based off that jjk men loyalty post and suguru was placed in the middle because he would situationship the FUCK out of you. and worse? i’d probably fall for it and do it too. so then i wrote an entire fucking fic. and i’m so so sorry because this is actually pure filth. i don’t know what happened to me guys… suguru is just actually so nghh
A SITUATIONSHIP WITH SUGURU GETO is essentally the same as signing a contract giving away the rest of your life. because once you entered it, you were no longer able to get out. it started sweet, of course. suguru was good to you, despite not being your boyfriend. maybe that was what caused the sources of your problems.
you wanted to date suguru and the both of you knew it. despite the fact that you acted like a couple — kissing, going out together, having sex, even saying that dreaded l-word — you two didn’t have an official relationship. and it genuinely drove you insane. especially when suguru got a little too close with girls, knowing your attachment to him.
you told yourself that you couldn’t really be mad because you weren’t dating. so, you started doing the same thing, expanding your options.
and suguru didn’t like that very much.
you two often had explosive arguments that either went one of two ways; one of you blocking the other and severing communication or the desperate confessions of love to keep each other around.
and when he gets blocked, it doesn’t take suguru long to contact you somehow or someway. whether it be following you on a different account, or going as far as showing up to your home, he gets to you again.
it’s an endless cycle that constantly leaves you overwhelmed and emotionally drained. the intense love you have for suguru is undeniable. it’s undeniable in the way you let him back, the way you willingly go back.
every time you hit that unblock button, your friends look at you with concern and express their disappointment, warning you that he isn't good for you.
and deep down, you know they're right. of course, you're aware of the potential harm and negative consequences. but can't they understand the depth of your emotions? you’re in love with him. over time, your friends gradually stop shaking their heads in disapproval. instead, they simply roll their eyes when his name is brought up in conversation. it’s as if they've given up on trying to convince you otherwise.
however, suguru soon reaches his final chance, when you find out he’s been fucking one of your friends. this time, there’s no argument. you’re swift, blocking every one of his socials you know, deleting & blocking his number. that was it. you were free.
a year passes by, and you’re sure you’ve moved on. you got a new boyfriend, who’s sweet, and so dedicated to you. suguru hasn’t tried to contact you, even though he’d never be able to. you move from your college dorm, to live with your devoted boyfriend, you get a new job at a local cafe. you’ve never been happier, and everything is going so good for you.
almost too good.
suguru is a dedicated man, which you had seemed to forget. the entire time you thought he had left you alone, that he too had moved on; well, you were wrong.
moving didn’t hide you from him, even if you thought it did. he eventually found out from one of your friends, and you. you may have blocked some of his instagram accounts, but not all.
you often posted the scenery of your new area. and your boyfriend. it wasn’t hard to pinpoint you from there. you also posted about working at a cafe. so he searched up the cafes in the area — it couldn’t be too far, because he knew you weren’t a fan of driving long distances.
it gave him three options.
three different cafes. so here’s how he found you; it really wasn’t hard. he put on a mask over his nose and mouth, tucked his long dark hair into his hoodie. he went to the first cafe, and he asked a simple question. “is y/n on the clock today? she’s the only one who makes my order correctly.”
from the first two, he got a, “y/n? we don’t have an employee by that name.”
but the third one, god it must’ve been luck. because when he asked, he got the most blissful answer.
“y/n? oh, she works from 8am - 2pm on saturdays and sundays, but she works from 2pm to 8pm on mondays, tuesdays and thursdays.”
that was so much more than he bargained for, but god was he ecstatic. she told him your schedule? that coworker must’ve had it out for you, or something. but who was he to question her and her helpfulness?
what he had to do was obvious from there. he began to frequent your job on the days you worked, however only when you had just left.
he kept it this way, until that faithful day.
it was his usual routine. he had came to the cafe on sunday, at 2:30pm. you should’ve been long gone by now, so he thought. but there you were, working the register, with a sweet smile on your face and a bedazzled name tag on your breast.
you’re even more beautiful in person, he realizes. those eye bags you used to have faded away, and your smile is bright. you’re as perfect as he left you. only problem? you allowed yourself to be stained by another man. but it was okay, suguru assumed — he’d clean you up.
he doesn’t hesitate to get in the line to buy something, even though it’s so rare when he does. he comes to the counter with eyes and shaky breaths, acting like he’s just as surprised to see you.
your eyes are as wide as saucers when you finally set on him. you didn’t see him immediately come through the door, so you didn’t see him for a while… until there were only two people in front of him in the line.
you were internally panicking and screaming, your heart beating so fast you thought it may crack one of your ribs . how did he find you? what does he want? and beyond that, how handsome he looked — however, you shoved these thoughts down. you had a boyfriend now, and you were never engaging with suguru again. simple as that.
“what’re you doing here?” he breathes out as he reaches the counter. you’re beyond shocked, eyes widening as you blink at him. “no, what are you doing here? i work here. you don’t even drink coffee.” and it’s true; in all your time together, suguru never touched a cup of coffee. he swallows, hard, and you wonder just exactly he’s thinking as he stares at you from underneath his thick lashes.
“i have… lately,” his voice is gentle, sad almost, “i come here daily for coffee. speaking of… can i get a large of straight black dark roast? with a dash of cream and sugar.” you nod and hastily go to make it. when you come back, he shifts, rocking side to side. “i want to apologize to you. for everything. can… can we talk when you get off?”
and you should’ve known better. you really should have. but you’re stupid enough to say yes.
he waits several hours for you; you tell him you’re working a double, and you’ll be closing the store. he doesn’t mind, it seems, especially when he helps you mop and clean, helping stack up chairs. it reminds you of how gentle suguru was with you. when it’s time to go, he questions, “you walk home?” when you nod, he scowls, obviously still slightly protective over you. it warms your heart, but you force it to freeze back over.
however, it remelts when he pushes you to the inside of the sidewalk, standing on the side closest to the street. “my boyfriend and i live around the block, so i just walk here and back. i never really get any trouble.” suguru hums; you’re setting that boundary early on.
i’ve moved on from you, you’re telling him subliminally, i’m with someone new. it’s funny that you think suguru cares.
the two of you are silent as you walk, and you find yourself questioning whether or not he’s going to apologize; or is he just using this opportunity to get close to you again? you get your answer when a few minutes later, he stops and turns to you.
“y/n,” his voice is husky and it’s cold enough that his exhalation of your name leaves a white mist, “i’m sorry, for everything. i was wrong to put you through those things. you’re such a sweet girl; you didn’t deserve it.” and a part of him means it, truly. he would’ve done things differently if he knew you were going to leave. “can we be friends? please?”
you feel the cold tears prick your eyes, and you nod, once, then twice. you sniff and whimper out a sweet, “yeah, suguru. we can be friends again.”
that’s your biggest mistake.
because now that you’ve allowed suguru in your life again, you’ve just given him the green light to do what he does best. spiral things into his control. he starts out with small things, starting with planting a seed of insecurity.
you had let him meet your boyfriend, at your boyfriend’s insistence, to prevent insecurity. his boyfriend knew all about suguru, so to say that he was a bit hostile was a bit of an understatement. suguru was the epitome of calm, all kind smiles towards your boyfriend. it was almost… embarrassing for you. your boyfriend was almost childish; when you cooked for the three, and your boyfriend set the table, he refused to get a plate for suguru. suguru took it in stride, however, only laughing it off. this was damn near perfect for suguru; he was going to lie, but your boyfriend was so fucking stupid, he basically laid out the soil for suguru’s seeds.
what’s worse was the fact that suguru is both taller and more muscular than your boyfriend; and whenever suguru stood and looked down at him, your boyfriend would jeer. later, your beloved expressed his slight inferiority. you did your best to reassure him, but anytime you mentioned suguru, he seemed to bristle. ‘it isn’t like that,’ you’d plead to him, with hands out, ‘we’re just becoming friends again, i swear!’
of course, you’d eventually go to tell suguru that you had to distance, in order to preserve your relationship.
he was understanding, yes, but not without a, “why doesn’t he trust you enough to let us be friends?” and maybe that stuck with you a bit. a week later, suguru drops off two plates of your favorite food. he says he was making it, and thought you’d enjoy the meal. he even brought a plate for your boyfriend. you’re ecstatic — as the meal isn’t one you often find in stores, and when you do, it isn’t cook to the fullest. however, while the two of you were … engaging, suguru learned to make it perfectly.
you’re all smiles and cheers, while your boyfriend is livid. suguru doesn’t overstay his welcome and departs with a smile and a nice goodbye for you both.
the argument ensues from there.
“i thought you cut him off?” your boyfriend asks you, his voice snappy and filled with anger. you raise your eyebrows, still holding the two plates in your hands as you move to the kitchen. you reply,”you didn’t ask me to. you told me to distance, and i did. me and suguru haven’t talked much at all since then.”
“then why is he dropping off food for you?” your boyfriend shoots back, almost immediately. you place the food on the counter and turn to him, feeling your irritation simply growing and growing. “for us, you mean,” you correct sassily, furrowing your eyebrows, “it would be different if the food was only for me. but there’s some for you too. he was being thoughtful.”
“why can’t you so obviously see that he’s a manipulative asshole?” your boyfriend yells as he throws his hands up, pacing around the couch. “how dim are you? he did it while you two were fucking around, and he’s doing it now! i don’t want you to be friends with him anymore.”
you’re bubbling over. so he’s calling you stupid now? you feel your irritation shift into anger instead. “you don’t get to tell me who i can and can’t be friends with because of your own fucking insecurities. you don’t get to do that shit, you don’t get to make something out of nothing. and most of all, you don’t get to throw my past experiences that i trusted you with into my fucking face.” you’re grabbing your food, and your coat simultaneously.
“wait, where are you going?” your boyfriend asks, his voice suddenly dropping from a yell to a concerned croon. your shoving your arm into a coat sleeve as you huff, “somewhere to cool off. you’ve pissed me off and now i don’t even want to be in this fucking house.”
your boyfriend wants to protest, but he doesn’t. he purses his lips, and he nods, before mumbling out a, “be safe. keep your location on, please?”
begrudgingly, you nod, before leaving.
of course, you end up at geto’s. you’re venting your frustrations as you eat the meal he prepared. it hadn’t even been an hour since he dropped off the food, and here you were. it’s how he knew that his plans were working, and god was he ecstatic. of course, he couldn’t seduce you right here and now, no. it’s much too early. he has to keep throwing the rock at the window, over and over. until it finally breaks.
this throw is only a crack in your window.
those arguments begin to happen more frequently, suguru’s large crack gives way to more and more little cracks, until you’re at your wits end. you’re not gonna break up with your boyfriend yet, but you’re starting to get aggravated. suguru figures it’s time for him to implement his plan.
you’re laying on his couch after an explosive argument between you and your boyfriend about geto seemingly “flirting” with you: suguru had bought tickets for the ballet for all three of you; your boyfriend refused to go, falling right into suguru’s trap. you were aggravated with him — he denied every opportunity to actually make sure no flirting would happen and denied. then got mad at you for enjoying yourself. but you wouldn’t allow that, tonight. you went to see the ballet with suguru, and honestly the two of you had a wonderful time.
but then, your dress had ripped so suguru held it together until the two of you got into the car. you had walked into the house, suguru shuffling behind you and your boyfriend went ballistic, claiming that suguru ripped it himself.
now, suguru didn’t even plan this one — but your boyfriend was just so good at being a little helper. while suguru watched the argument awkwardly, trying his best to ‘deescalate’ the argument, while intentionally making it worse. you ended up leaving with suguru, ripped dress and all.
now here you are, sitting on his couch, with tears streaming down your beautiful made-up face. suguru’s cooing to you through your distress, giving your back gentle rubs. “he’s such a dick, y/n,” suguru murmurs as you blubber out your frustrations, “i can’t believe he got so worked up… it’s starting to piss me off, too. i even bought a ticket for him to come with us.”
you let out a cry of agreement, going, “which was so nice of you! he complains about us being alone but never come when he’s invited! it’s so… so…!”
“hypocritical,” he finishes for you, pulling you to lean on his shoulder. you comply, even when his hand slides to rub at your hips. “i wasn’t the greatest, but… god, even i didn’t do you like that. didn’t he call you stupid or something a week ago? i actually don’t think i’ve ever done that.” he laughs it off like a joke, but watches your reaction carefully.
the words have you thinking back. no, suguru hadn’t ever called you stupid. when he started getting jealous, he never put you in situations to be jealous over. he was never childish like your boyfriend… your brows furrow and you pout, hesitantly nodding. suguru smiles; it’s working. he takes this a sign to keep talking.
“and i noticed that like… he barely posts you. like you have a highlight for him on insta, and he doesn’t have one for you,” he begins, continuing to caress your skin, before pulling a pack of his favorite cigarettes out of his pocket. “and i don’t mean to infringe on your relationship, y/n.. it’s just weird to me. considering that i had a highlight for you even when we weren’t dating.”
you pause, lightly leaning into suguru’s touch. he’s not wrong… in fact, he’s very right. your boyfriend always told you that he didn’t post you a lot because he didn’t want people in your relationship business. you had accepted it at the time, but now suguru’s words had you questioning.
“am i overstepping?” suguru asks gently, his hand still rubbing your hip, pulling you into him as he exhales cigarette smoke. his dark violet eyes focus on you, and you examine his features, like you used to do before.
his long hair is pulled into his trademark half-up half-down style. slim eyes looking down at you with an all too familiar glaze. his angular, perfect features that had to been crafted by god. he’s… he’s so much prettier… you curse yourself for even thinking it, but he’s so much prettier than your boyfriend. he licks his lips as he watches you watch him. his head tilts slightly.
“maybe your boyfriend wasn’t wrong, though,” he says, voice husky — it sends unwanted shivers down your spine. “maybe i haven’t been exactly appropriate to you. maybe i do want you back.”
you swallow hard, slight shock flooding you. you expected it but didn’t at the same time. even though all those times you vented and brought up how your boyfriend was convinced suguru wanted you, suguru never confirmed or denied. only soothed you.
you don’t know what to say, or how you feel but you know it’s wrong. “n-no, suguru,” you force yourself to say, “it’s wrong. a-and you already had a chance. so many chances.” your scooting away, but suguru is pulling you back to him.
his lips press against your ear as he whispers, “c’mon, baby… please? i learned my lesson. i can’t bare to see another man treat you like this, when i know… we both know… i have my problems, but i can treat you so much better.” you’re trying to pull away, but your body and your heart is too familiar with suguru. you ache, despite knowing that it’s wrong. it’s cheating.
“suguru, i-i can’t cheat..!” you whimper pathetically, and suddenly, he’s pushing you down onto the couch, sliding on top of you. you moan, as you feel him press against you, cursing yourself.
“there it is,” suguru hisses, lifting his cigarette to his wet lips again, “moaning just based off that? he hasn’t been fucking my girl right, now has he?”
“not your girl..!” you gasp as he presses hot, open mouth kisses onto your neck. you protest out of guilt, but god, you don’t stop him.
because just like he said, you both know. your boyfriend couldn’t, in no way, compared to suguru geto.
“not my girl?” suguru whispers as he kisses up your jawline, “you sure? because you’re gasping and whining out like you are. you’ve always been mine, y/n. you know you have. let me take care of you, baby. come back home.”
there’s an ache in your pussy, and you’re sure that it’s your sexual organ talking when you whine, “okay, suguru, j-just please… please fuck me.” the need you feel overwhelms the guilt as suguru presses his clothed dick against you.
you can feel him, pressing against you through your panties, and the squeal you let out makes suguru laugh. he’s sliding you up with one hand and into his lap. he hikes your dress up to your hips and you think he’s going to take you right then and there; but no. instead he presses you down against his crotch, forcing you to get off on the feeling of his covered dick simply pressing against you.
“s-suguru! c’mon, give me more, please!” you mewl as you grip his broad shoulders desperately. you watch as he lifts his cigarette to his lips. “nuh uh,” he says as he exhales, “you’re going to pay for leaving me for some bitch who can’t even fuck you right. ride me jus’ like this, y/n. and don’t stop until i say so.”
and unfortunately, you’re obedient and desperate for any shred of stimulation you can get. you began grinding your hips down against suguru through his slacks, his hardened dick rubbing against your pussy through your panties. you’re so wet that you begin to gush through the thin cotton of your panties, dripping onto suguru’s slacks in a puddle.
you don’t say anything however, yearning for the intense pleasure that suguru always gave you. that year away from suguru must’ve made you forget; nobody will ever fuck you as good as he does.
he watches as you clutch onto him, pathetically grinding and shaking your hips down onto your lap, whining as your panties rub against your clit just right. in a few minutes or so, you’re even ready to cum. suguru has your habits memorized when you were close, and that hasn’t changed.
you still tremble, your bottom lip pulled between your teeth. your eyes cross a little and your back arches. suguru grins. oh, you’re so close, aren’t you?
“stop.”
he chuckles darkly, and when you don’t listen the first time, he pulls you off of him. you let out a mix of a sob and a moan, your face twisting into something pitiful. “suguru!” you wail, fat tears spilling over. “i was so fucking close! why would you do that?”
suguru gracefully puts you on the floor between his legs, laughing at your plight. “oh, i never said you’d cum, dollface. i just told you to do it. but it’s okay, my dumb girl. ‘m gonna reward you a different way.” he begins unbuttoning the slacks as you perch between his legs. he’s rolling the black pants down his thighs, along with his boxers and there it is.
his dick bounces free. it’s long, and has a nasty curve upwards. he’s thick too — scarily so. his tip is fat and a perfect round shape. it’s a dark tan, a few shades darker than his skin. and it’s decorated with a silver reverse prince albert piercing. precum slides out, a silky white color. you feel drool collect in your mouth as his dick hovers above you.
“you know what to do,” suguru tells you with an expectant look, his cigarette perched perfectly between his lips, “open your mouth and let me use you. uh huh, just like that lovely, stick out that tongue…” you do as he tells you, hands on his knees as you lean up; tongue out, eyes locked with suguru’s.
he slaps his dick on your tongue a few times, before he slides his length into your mouth. immediately, your lips enclose around him. his hand laces into your hair, using it as leverage to pull your head down his length. you gag fiercely around him, hands moving from his knees to his thighs, digging into his skin.
suguru smokes his cigarette with hazy eyes as he pushes your head down his dick, and back up. the noise your throat makes when his tip hits your uvula is wet and messy, and god does he love it.
your slobbing down his length, your spit trickling down his balls; your eyes are filled with tears, a few even spilling over. however, your plump lips stay wrapped around him. you suck your cheeks in and gaze up at him, submission coating your every movement. your tongue slides against the glands on his dick, making him let out a soft groan.
“take this dick down your throat just like that, whore, fuck,” he rasps to you, his movements becoming a little more aggressive, “did you suck on him like this? lookin’ up at me all pretty. bet you didn’t suck his dick like you needed it; didn’t show him how much of a fucking whore you are, hm?” he puts his cigarette in the ashtray on the coffee table, and then he slides his hand into his pocket and pulls out his phone. “i think we should. is that okay?” as best as you can, you nod, still swallowing up his dick.
suguru is on his phone for a few seconds, before laughing out, “ha! he texted me. he wants me to bring you fuckin’ home. too bad; you’re already home, right, baby?” of course, you don’t answer. your mouth is too stuffed full of his dick. suguru gets rougher then. his original languid pace is discarded, and he begins to push and pull himself out of your mouth. his tip rams against your uvula, before sliding into your throat. you’re choking for air, sputtering. he’s fucking your throat so cruelly, there’s a bulge in your throat every time he sheaths himself in your mouth.
you try to pull in air through your nose, but it’s too hard to focus when suguru is pressing your face into his pelvis, his heady scent filling you and making you dizzy. or was that just the lack of oxygen? you realize that he’s recording your pathetic display. you’re a fucking mess, pussy drooling as he ruins you.
“shiiit, angel,” he curses, head thrown back, and his locks messy around his shoulders. his bottom lip between his teeth, “gonna cum. gonna cum in your mouth, and you’re gonna swallow every fuckin’ drop, understand?”
you swirl your tongue around him, letting him know you’re ready. his thrusts become reckless, before he spills his load inside of your mouth. his cum tastes nice, as always — it has a slightly bitter tang to it, but you take it in stride. as he slides his softened dick out of your mouth, you open your mouth, letting your tongue loll out; showing him his cum coating your mouth.
his phone captures it all.
“is this your girlfriend?” he taunts the camera, grabbing your cheeks and bringing your mouth closer to the phone as cum dribbles down your chin. “look at her. that’s my cum. this is my girl.” you swallow his cum then, and suguru lets out a coo of, “good slut.” before he’s ending the video and sending it.
as soon as he releases your face, you’re sucking in big breaths of air, coughing and sputtering and wiping your eyes from the tears. he rubs your head while you do so, letting out soft coos of reasurance.
he sits back for a second, sliding his dick back into his slacks, before telling you, “go to my room and get undressed. i’ll be there in a minute.” he watches you nod and scamper up, going up the stairs to his room, your hips swaying.
suguru picks up his put out cigarette as he watches your boyfriend trip out about the video, both of your phones dinging with notifications. he lets out a laugh.
suguru always gets what he wants eventually, especially you.
he’s getting up to follow behind you then, pulling off his tie in the process. suguru can feel his own desperation and need for you setting in. it had been a year and a few months; in that time, he didn’t engage much in sex and romantic relationships. none of them were you.
and even now, when he gets to his room and you’re sat on his bed, eyes soft and legs slightly spread as you wait for him, he knows.
none of them will ever be you.
suguru stares at you, almost unnervingly as he walks into the room, leaning against the wall. it makes you self-conscious, curling into yourself as you press your hands against your body to shield yourself.
“don’t.” suguru says, and he walks to you, grabbing your arms. “i need to see all of you.” before you could even respond, he’s wrapping his tie around your wrists.
“suguru?” you question gently as the black fabric wraps around your hands, keeping you bound. suguru shushes you, before picking you up and moving you to the top of the bed. “shh, lovely. i gotta fuck those thoughts of your ‘boyfriend’ out of you. so you’re gonna be a good whore and you’re gonna take it. understood?”
“yes sir,” you whisper as he lays you down, before his hands are spreading your thighs, to reveal your pretty pussy; soaked with your self-lubrication. you move your bound hands to cover yourself, but suguru knocks them away. “put your hands away, what’re you covering yourself for? i know your body like the back of my hand.”
and he’s right, so you try your best to relax. your tensity is immediately forgotten when he puts a finger on your clit, rubbing slow circles against it. you shiver and let out a dulcet moan, a lovely sing of, “suguru— mnngh, fuck..” he takes so much pride in the way he makes you feel, the way he makes you cry out and arch your back just due to his finger rubbing against your clit.
“shh, dollface,” suguru says as he sits between your legs, spreading them more. his large hand wraps around your calf to put your leg up. his finger trails from your clit to your sopping hole, before sliding two fingers inside.
the stretch from just two of suguru’s fingers had you letting out mellifluous moans, squirming in his hold. he held you still while he pushed his fingers inside of you until they were knuckle deep, thumb pressing against your clit.
suguru was slow and methodical with the way he fingered you; sliding his fingers out slowly just to thrust them back in a fast pace, fingertips curling against your warm, gummy walls. your slick was dripping down onto his palm as he rocked his finger into you.
you were his mess, letting out whines as his long, thick fingers scissored inside of you, pressing against your g-spot. “he couldn’t get you like this, now could he?” suguru asked as he pressed his fingers against your g-spot again, making you squeal. you didn’t answer at first, but when he added a third finger inside of you, hissing out, “fucking answer me.” you were quick to babble out, “no, sugu! no, no, no, he could never get me like this… only you, only you!”
suguru chuckles in satisfaction as he watches you struggle to hold on to the sheets with your bound wrists. “fuckin’ slut,” he muses, “cheating on your boyfriend like some fucking whore who can’t keep her legs closed.” he tuts, and shame floods through you; however, it’s eradicated by the way he curls his fingers against your g-spot, his quick but precise thrusting hitting it every time. your juices are all over his hand, sloppy noises echoing through the room. the way suguru looks at you has your heart beating in your fucking ovaries.
you’re close, euphoria is spreading through your body and your stomach is tightening. your pussy is contracting around suguru’s fingers as you whimper, “i’m sorry…! sorry for bein’ a slut, sir.”
“i forgive you,” he laughs a little bit, as your eyes roll back. “you’re my slut, of course. you’ll always belong to me; always be mine, no matter where you go.” right as your pussy begins to spasm around him, and your body begins to twitch, eyes rolling back again — he slides his fingers out of you.
the sob you let out is tremendous, bordering on a scream. suguru only watches as you sob, fat tears rolling down your already ruined face as you sob out different variations of ‘why?’ and ‘i wanted to cum!’ through your tears as you glare up at him. suguru only watches your pathetic, desperate display as he begins to fully undress. his eyebrow raised as he watches you, slightly smirking. you’re so cute, so desperate for him. he loves when you get like this.
by the time he’s fully naked, you’re facedown into the blankets, still whimpering, your sobs slowing. suguru wants to laugh, but he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. he crawls on the bed towards you, grabbing you and turning you over onto your back. you look up at him with teary eyes as he hovers above you. your bound hands reaches up, and you mange to press the back of your hand to his cheek. oh, how you missed this sight.
your hands sneak to his hair, and you pull out his ponytail. his hair falls around his shoulders, and he smiles at you; a genuine smile, and you can tell by the way his eyes crinkle. he leans down, sliding his lips against yours as his hand wraps around your throat loosely. suguru tastes like sweet cigarettes, like a mix of nicotine and love and sex. you don’t know how else to describe it.
“missed you,” he whispers against your lips, kissing you feverishly. you try your best to keep up with his insistent lips, as his tongue curls against the roof of your mouth.
“m-missed you more,” you rasped back against his lips.
you guys are pulling away occasionally to gaze at each other sweetly at his other hand trails down your body, caressing you wherever he can. he’s devouring your lips, hand slightly tightening on your neck. “love you, y/n,” he whispers, before continuing on like it was never said.
your heart pumps, and before you realize it, your lips are moving to say, “love you more, suguru,” you feel him grin into the kiss, and it becomes more desperate. it’s messy, the way he kisses you — the way he laps at your mouth and begs for more of you, all of you.
you can’t help but give.
his tip rubs against your hole, his piercing cold against your heat. on instinct, you let out a slight hiss at the feeling. he shushes you gently, as he pushes his hips forward slowly. the stretch of him has your head falling back, and your eyes rolling. your mouth falls open in an o, but you’re unable to make a noise, as if he’s snatched it out of you.
pain mixes with pure pleasure as he feeds your greedy cunt inch after inch of him. your body is trembling as you feel his piercing scratch your g-spot, making you gasp out, before said piercing is nudging your cervix. his curved dick has you going insane, hitting spots you forgot you had. above you, suguru is as much of a mess as you are.
he’s panting, irises so dilated that it’s just black with a ring of dark violet. one hand is gripping your hips, the other squeezing your throat as he spears you on his dick, soft moans escaping his lips. “fuck, angel,” he groaned as he threw his head back, “missed this pussy s’much. you’re taking me so well, look…” you manage to look down, watching as suguru pulls out of you before snapping his hips into yours.
the single, experimental thrust has you seeing stars. your tied hands are pushed above your head by suguru and he holds your hands, keeping them there. he pulls your legs to rest on his shoulders, and you blank. because now, the angle is different, and he’s pulling out and—
the rough thrust he blesses you with has you whimpering out his name, and that’s just the beginning. it doesn’t stop from there, no. he releases your hands, going to grip your throat again as he begins to stuff you full, slamming into you over and over.
that hand on your throat tightens just how you like it, until your noises are gasped and raspy, and there’s black spots swimming in your vision. this, paired with the way suguru pushes his hips into yours, bullying your pussy, has you teetering on the edge.
suguru knows this. he knows your body far too well, much more than you’d like. he knows that when he trails a hand down to your breasts, to pull and twist at your nipples like he does right now, it only shoves you closer to the edge. “don’t cum,” he whispers to you, “i didn’t even really get started, doll. don’t tell me you’re gonna cum just from a few strokes like this?” he smirks down at you, as his thrusts pause. the hand around your throat sliding up to rub his thumb on your bottom lip. the slight relief has you sucking in deep breaths, trying to regain your voice.
suguru decides to help you. he resumes his fierce thrusts, ripping a croaked cry of, “suguru—!” out of you. he picks up speed, jackhammering into you, and your nails dig into the palm of your hand as you’re forced to grip your own hands. he’s fucking you like this, and you’re supposed to not cum? his thrusts snatch the barely regained air out of your lungs, forcing more tears into your eyes.
your clit throbs painfully, your stomach tight as you try to hold on to the orgasm that is so close, too close to washing over you. “can’t control yourself?” suguru taunts from above you with a slight laugh, “fuck, baby, you’re a mess. got your fucking juices drippin’ down my balls,” he let out another chuckle, “pussy just clenched around me too. you like when i make fun of you, don’t you? masochistic cumwhore.” he grips your face, watching your tits bounce fiercely with every thrust.
“it huuuurts, sugu,” you whimper in an agonizingly sweet voice, “please let me cum, please, please, i can’t take it..! please, sir, it hurts…!”
“you love it when it hurts, though,” he tuts at you, his hair hanging in his face, and above you as he keeps up his thrusts. you let out a desperate, pained whine and he softens. just a little. but he doesn’t let you cum yet. instead, he leans down, lips pressed to your ear, “say you won’t leave me, ever again. say you won’t go anywhere.”
you know it’s a trap, but you fall into it anyways. “i won’t! i won’t leave you again, i promise, p-please just let me cum. i won’t go anywhere, i won’t ever have anyone else! j-just please…”
“cum.” suguru says one word, and immediately, you do. your eyes roll back, your body seizes, and your pussy clenches so impossibly tight around him that he can’t even pull out.
“shit—!” he hisses, hands gripping your hips. your clenching sends him over the edge too, his cum pumping into you. he didn’t mean to cum inside of you, no. but now it’s given him an idea. “fuckin’ minx, pussy clamped so hard on me, it had me cum in you,” he rasped as he pressed his lips to your sweaty skin.
you want to care, you really do. you want to panic and make a scene, but god, you don’t fucking care. the feeling of having his cum inside of you feels too good. you didn’t even let your boyfriend cum inside of you. should you be ashamed of yourself? you don’t know. actually, scratch that. once again, you don’t fucking care. all you can murmur is, “just… don’t do it again.”
you don’t care because your mind is foggy, the best kind of foggy. the orgasmic haze you’re in has you blissed out as you’re splayed across suguru’s bed.
suguru is marking you, biting, licking, sucking at your neck, collarbone and chest until they’re littered with reddish-purple hickeys, along with the hand print from him choking. if he’s going to bring you home to your boyfriend, he’s going to bring you back with a message. he grabs his cigarette and his lighter. he lights it, and takes a puff, before looking down at you. “this is gonna hurt,” he tells you, and you connect the dots immediately. you shake your head at him, but he shushes you. “be a good slut, and let me do this. don’t move, or it’s gonna hurt more.”
you go completely still, biting your lip as tears appear on your lash line. he softens when he sees you like this, scared. his hand presses against your face, trying to soothe you. even as he presses his cigarette against your collarbone. in order to distract you, he begins to thrust again. the pain and pleasure fight for dominance over your body, and you focus on the pleasure; even though the smell of your burning flesh fills the room. he puts out his cigarette two more times on your skin, before pressing kisses to the scars.
“i have to make sure that you, and everyone else, know that you belong to someone.” he whispers to you, still pressing kisses to the spot. you barely understand him though, because you feel like you’re fading. drowning in a sea of pleasure that he’s created.
his eyes lock on your bound hands, and the red mark around your wrists. he unties your hands, and you let out a garbled noise of relief. you watch as he presses kisses to your wrists, while still pumping his thick dick through your walls. you’re on the edge again, and suguru flicks at your clit, making you cum another time, your body twitching and your hands grabbing at his skin.
suguru’s close, too, and he knows what he has to do now.
suguru’s ideas are dangerous, but he finds it in him that he doesn’t care. he can’t trust your word that you’ll never leave. he can’t rely on just marking you. he’ll have to make sure that you’re unable to go anywhere, he’ll have to make sure that you need him.
he’ll have to knock you up.
it’s as simple as that. the simple idea of you swelled with his child has him reeling. suguru knows it’ll work. you don’t use birth control, because you don’t like the way it makes you gain weight, and you often forget to take the pill. and, he saw condoms and plan b’s at your house. it’s almost comical. suguru’s sure that you’d take his baby; but not your boyfriend’s.
the idea excites him even more and he grips your thighs, using his weight to push you into a mating press.
everything’s a blurry mess from there.
he’s slamming his hips into you with a regained fever, over and over and over. your heightened sensitivity is unable to take it, and you’re a squealing, whining mess with every move that he makes. your grasping at anything in your reach, mainly him and the bedsheets.
suguru folds you in half as he feels his own orgasm coming. “you’re gonna take every drop i give you, understand? don’t waste my cum, slut.” you want to tell him to wait, to cum on your stomach. but you don’t. you can barely think at all. instead, you lose control of your body as you cum right with him, as he shoots his load of thick cum straight to your womb.
you think he’s done, but no; instead he flips you over onto your hands and knees. he grips your throat from behind with both hands as he slams into you one more time. pumping and filling you, breeding you like some animal. you can barely moan anymore, animalistic whimpers and grunts escaping you instead as he slams his hips against the plush of your ass. suguru lets go of your neck to grip your hair, pushing your face into his pillows as you drool mindlessly, brain fucked away.
“helloooo…” he asks, teasing you purposely, “anyone in there?” when you don’t answer, he barks out a laugh. “look at you. gone stupid on my dick. i expected you to last longer. but no; you’re nothin’ but a dick hungry cumslut.” your body twitches and you make out some noise, resembling a ‘nooo…’, but suguru can’t tell.
“like it when i use you like this, hm? like it when i treat you like my fuckin’ cocksleeve, don’t you, y/n?” this time you manage to answer with a sweet ‘yes!’ and suguru smiles. you’re cumming again, sinking into the blankets with rasped moans. your throat is probably shredded from all the screaming you’ve been doing, but it’s okay.
it’s not long before suguru’s shooting his third load into you — or is it his fourth? you don’t remember, and neither does he.
you think it’s over, and maybe it is for approximately five to ten minutes. he gives both of you a break, and he presses kisses into your spine.
however, when he maneuvers you into a different position, you almost pass out. suguru isn’t done with you yet. the night continues like that, until the rosy fingers of dusk trickle into the room. he fucks you all fucking night, with a few breaks. he fucks you to sleep, and when you wake up, he’s still fucking you. a mix of your fluids soaks his bed, as he fucks load after load after load into you.
because suguru’s on a mission.
so when morning comes and he’s finally done using and abusing your body, he knows he’s succeeded. he scoops his cum off your thighs and stuffs it back into you, and right after he slides your panties back on, making sure it stays there.
soon after, when you wake again, he carries you to the bathroom, and he washes you up, still making sure that not too much of his cum slides out. he’s gentle with you, carrying you on his back around the house, driving you to get dunkin’ donuts for breakfast. the two of you completely ignore your phones, and the messages your boyfriend — well, ex-boyfriend left you two.
in fact, suguru does him one better. he arrives at the house with his arm around your waist and you nestled into his side. your ex-boyfriend is more than livid, more than furious, but he pales in comparison to suguru.
he screams at you, only once; because suguru is there to utter out a, “you yell at my girlfriend like that again, and i will fucking kill you.” and both you and your boyfriend are shocked. but suguru only nods to you, smiling gently as you hurry to collect everything you need. feminine products, clothes, jewelry. important things. anything you miss, suguru says you’ll get later. your boyfriend doesn’t utter a word after that single scream.
of course he texts you, ranging from angry to filled with despair. from “cheating fucking bitch” to “i’m sorry, i’ll do better, just please come home”. he’s soon blocked.
and when you miss your period the next month, you’re telling suguru. when the pregnancy test comes up positive and you’re looking up at him with a mix of shock, fear and excitement, he scoops you up into a kiss, murmuring about how he’s so happy.
because now you’re his forever.
#⭒ ݁ . ໒꒱ jazi writes#jjk#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen#fem reader#jjk x fem!reader#geto suguru#jjk geto#geto x reader#getou suguru x reader#getou suguru x you#suguru geto smut#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk smut#jjk x poc!reader#poc reader#jjk x readet#jjk x reader smut#geto x female reader#geto x fem reader smut#🎧
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This is a new episode of "all Polin first times we didn't see" and these is a mix of stuff, including at least one request.
It's after Pen has giving birth, some months have already passes but Colin feels inspired that afternoon. He can't read, can't write, all he can think about is how much his gorgeous wife is looking absolutely ethereal in the new dressing gown - blue Bridgerton of course.
But he knows that Pen would look even better naked. So with that goal in mind, he closes the door of the studio in which both him and Pen are working at the moment. No distractions allowed. The baby is in safe hands at the moment and they have a couple of hours before dinner. He'd love to have more time for what he has in mind but it will do.
Pen now follows his eyes with interest, and when Colin is now in her space, she gets up. Colin very carefully proceed to put everything in order until the desk is empty. Then, he methodically removes her dress, stay and camisole until she is naked. He kisses her deeply before lifting her up (Pen does squee in surprise at this) and puts her on the desk.
He remains dressed, because he is not important right now. It's all about her. His Goddess. He kisses her again, and then he explores every inch of her body with his fingers. The lips, the curve of her neck, her back, her gorgeous thighs, her absolutely breathtaking breast - even more now that she is feeding their son - where her nipples are already leaking. He has plan for those buds, but before he needs to go down on her stomach.
When he is there, he kisses her womb. He murmurs a prayer in thanks because she is safe and healthy as well as their son, before going back up with his lips, catching her nipples along the way. The looks at her, a question in his eyes but Pen knows already and trust him with her life so she nods, and Colin start to suck. He is surprised that her milk is warm - but more than anything, he marvels at women and particularly Pen, because what she did with their son is nothing short of a miracle.
These couple of hours are just about her. After she is wriggling for the emotion and the arousal his actions are causing her, he goes on his knees to taste his absolution. He opens her legs to make space for him and firstly he kisses her all around, before truly eating her with lips and tongue until she cries out loud and make him feel like a giant for making her feel so much pleasure.
When he knows she is close, he aids her with his fingers, like he did in the carriage and during their first time, until she is coming loudly. But he is now done. Nit even close. He wait for her to calm down, before starting repeating the same cycle. All over again. A second time. A third time. By the fourth she is collapsed on the desk, can't move, can't think, she can only feel. And when she comes that time, he gets flooded by her sacred juices, re-baptized in her name.
It's sinful to think as much but he can't help himself. He comes untouched in that moment, in his breeches, and he cleans her up wit his tie, before redressing her.
"What about you?" She asks and those are the first words beside moans she has spoken since they have started. Colin looks at her "it was not about me" but he agrees that she can do it to him too one day. In the end, every Goddess needs her own God.
What is a first you want me to write about them? (And if you want to play a game, how many first did I include?)
#polin#bridgerton#bridgerton season 3#bridgerton s3#polin positivity#polin bridgerton#polin brainrot#polin fanfiction#polin fic#colin x penelope#colin bridgerton#colin my wife bridgerton#penelope featherington#penelope x colin
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Collarbones : Jasper Whitlock Hale VIII
Chapter Eight
"I can see your collarbones and baby I'm scared, Never thought I'd be so unprepared"
Summary: Camila Johnson was only 16 when she was diagnosed with leukemia. By the time she had turned 17, the doctors had tried everything to save her. Her family is close to giving up hope when they hear of a doctor who may be able to help her. The only problem is, he lives on the opposite side of the country. The small family soon decides to move to the small town in Washington, in efforts to prolong her life. In doing so, her life changes forever.
Warnings: Eventual smut (18+ only), mentions of death, depression, violence, descriptions of disease and weight loss, general angst, slow burn, blood
Words: 8k
A/N: Please lmk if you'd like to be added to the tag list. I'm backkkkk. Hope you enjoy x
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February 6th, 2005
Camila’s Sunday had been a fairly uneventful day, having spent the majority of it on the couch with her mother. The two had spent their afternoon watching some of the movies they had recently unpacked from the move. Camila had been happy to spend some much needed quality time with her mother and even happier to spend that time avoiding the topic that had been weighing on the family heavily for the past week. In reality, she didn’t actually know how many more good days with her mother she was going to get by the end of all of this, and she wanted to cherish whatever time she had left.
Her mother had just popped in the second tape for the movie Titanic when her father arrived home, arms full with two large pizza boxes as he dropped his things by the door. Camila’s face blossomed into a bright smile. Regardless of her dwindling appetite, pizza would always be her favorite and she couldn’t have thought of a more ideal evening with her parents. So the family sat together, watching as the movie’s plot took a rather unfortunate turn for disaster, eating their greasy pizza off of paper plates.
Of course, in the end, as it always happened, no matter how much Camila had hoped for a different outcome, the lovely Jack Dawson had frozen to death holding the hand of his lover and she was left to wonder if she would end up leaving Jasper in a similar state of despair when her time was up. Deep down she knew that his offer of eternity in his arms was growing more and more tempting and the likelihood of her ever leaving his side was dwindling as the days passed by. Her feelings for him were growing day by day as well and she was well past the point of no return she feared.
Being in love was a scary and vulnerable thing as it was, but given everything else about her situation, it was nothing less than terrifying, albeit a good kind of terrifying. Her thoughts had become an endless cycle of him, and she knew she was done for. The idea of being in love so quickly would’ve made her scoff and roll her eyes previously, but now that she found herself very much in love with Jasper, she knew that what she had once thought was impossible was the truth.
The feelings she held in her heart for Jasper triumphed any idea of love she had previously held. She had never been one to believe in the foolish idea of love at first sight, but as she looked back at the moment she had met him she couldn’t imagine anything closer to describe it as. She knew that if she already felt this strongly for him, that her feelings would only grow to an incomprehensible intensity with time.
It was after the sun had set when he had come knocking on her window, giving the glass a light tap with his knuckles as a warning before he entered through the opening into her bedroom. She had given him a small tired smile, gesturing for him to join her on the bed. He moved forward, sinking into his usual spot as she took hers with her head on his chest, letting out a sigh of contentment.
“How was the game?” She asked, bringing her hand up to lay on the soft cotton of his t-shirt.
Jasper smiled, wrapping an arm around her protectively. “It was good, Patriots won.” He said simply, knowing she was just being polite in asking, having no interest in the game herself.
In all truth, he hadn’t spent much of his time actually paying attention to the sport, his thoughts being rather caught up on the girl who was currently curled up against him. He tried his best to show interest as he knew that Emmet had been looking forward to it, but he couldn’t help but be disappointed at his past self for promising to spend the day away from Camila. Of course, at the time he had no idea that he would be missing school the two days that followed, which had definitely added to the torture. Torture that was given brief recesses by his nightly visits.
“That’s good, I’m glad you enjoyed it…” She said, trailing off into a yawn, covering her mouth with her palm. “I’m sorry, I promise you’re not boring me, I’m just so exhausted.” She explained, slightly disappointed in herself as she had been looking forward to seeing him all day and knew that his presence would be missed at school the next morning.
He sighed, running his fingers delicately along her spine, raising goosebumps to the surface of her skin. “You don’t need to apologize Darlin’, sleep.” He said, laying a kiss on her head as he breathed in the comforting scent of her.
“You won’t be bored?” She asked, looking up at him through her lashes as she attempted to fight the sleep off.
Jasper smiled lightly. “Is it creepy if I said that I actually enjoy watching you sleep?” He asked, arching a curious brow at her.
Camila snickered softly. “A little bit.” She admitted cheekily.
Jasper’s chest shook with a slight chuckle at her bluntness. “I can’t help it, you just look so peaceful.” He explained, giving her a bright smile, teeth shining in the moonlight.
Camila lifted her head slightly, getting a better look of the beautiful smile he had been graciously sharing with her. “Do you ever miss being able to sleep?” She asked, curiosity coursing through her.
He looked up in though for a moment, eyes coming back, meeting her own as he gave his answer. “Sometimes. It’s been so long, so I don’t really know what I’m missing out on I suppose.” He admitted, his cool fingers lifting to brush the hair from her face. He leaned forwards slightly, pressing his lips lightly to hers in a soft kiss, breaking away with a grin as he listened to her heart rate pick up from the touch. “Stop stalling, sleep.” He urged.
Camila groaned, rolling her eyes playfully as she lowered her head back to his chest. “Fine.” She muttered, letting her eyes flutter closed.
Jasper’s eyes lingered on her sleeping frame as he concentrated on the beating of her heart. Her tank top hung loosely on her frail shoulders, her chest slowly rising and falling as she sucked in the deep breaths of sleep.
The burn in his throat persisted, Camila’s parents’ blood pumping heavily through their veins in such close proximity. Although he knew that his thirst hadn’t wavered, being so near the humans had grown easier to manage over time. Easier to let his mind wander on thoughts of Camila rather than thoughts of bloodlust. It was times like these that he missed being able to sleep, wanting nothing more than to hold her in his arms and be able to dream of her.
So, instead he spent this time day dreaming of her. Day dreaming of the future they may one day have with each other. Thoughts of being able to not only drape his arm around her body, but truly hold her. He knew that he was getting carried away, but he couldn’t help it. He couldn’t help it that when he pictured his future, she was always there at his side, or rather she was there in the forefront, his future itself.
——————
February 7th, 2005
Camila awoke in the morning to her mother gently shaking her. Vaguely, she remembered, a half asleep goodbye from Jasper, followed by a soft peck to her forehead that must have happened only minutes before. A frown settled on her face, not yet mentally prepared to face the day without her favorite person by her side. She knew she would see him later, that much he had assured her, but that didn’t stop her from dreading spending the next two school days without him in attendance.
She was however, looking forward to seeing Angela once more, slightly giddy at the fact that she would be able to tell her that Jasper was now officially her boyfriend. She had refrained from telling her mother of this, knowing that it would only raise questions, besides, her mother knew her too well, and the last thing she really needed was a confirmation.
So she had begrudgingly pulled herself out of bed and into the shower. The cool stream of water stifled the heat of her skin as the stream ran down her spine. Gravity weighed down on her bones, a deep ache radiating through her body. She would be sure to take her meds today, knowing that the pain would only intensify as the hours went on. Although she hated to rely on the pills, she knew that it was necessary, especially given the fact that Jasper would not be there to help distract her.
The ride to Forks High School was rather quiet, the air around her and her mother filled with soft crunching of Camila’s protein bar. She forced herself to swallow the unsavory food, knowing that she needed the nutrients, regardless of how much she hated the aftertaste. When the van finally came to a stop in front of the dreary building. She quickly stuffed the remainder of her breakfast in her mouth, grabbing her bottle of water as she mumbled something resembling a goodbye to her mother, giving a quick side hug to the woman.
The fluorescent lit hallways were filled with cheerful chatter, no doubt a side effect of the irregularly sunny day. The ring of the bell rang shrilly signaling the time for first period, and she was surprisingly happy to sit down in the class. The teacher quickly gave them work to do in pairs and she was thankful to be able to speak to the girl without risking getting in trouble for talking in class.
“Soooo…” She drew out dramatically, gaining the attention of the girl sitting next to her. Angela looked to her, eyes peering over the rim of her glasses quizzically. “Jasper may or may not officially be my boyfriend now.” She informed, watching as a giant smile formed on the girl’s lips in response.
“Oh my god. I knew it!” She squealed in delight, teeth shining in the fluorescent lighting. “Tell me more, I’m begging.” She said, dramatically clutching her hands together as she pushed her bottom lip out in a pout.
Camila smiled lightly, a bright blush covering her cheeks as she thought of what to tell the girl that wouldn’t give too much away. “I met his parents this weekend.” She said, opting to add Carlisle in on the meeting as she shouldn’t have had any reason to have met him previously.
Angela’s eyes widened dramatically. “Woah, that’s kinda serious, huh?” She asked, wiggling her eyebrows playfully.
The heat burned red hot on her face as Camila looked down at the workbook in front of her bashfully. “Kinda, yeah.” She muttered, smile unwavering from her lips.
“So they’re ridiculously attractive too, right?” Angela asked, nudging the girl’s shoulder.
Camila snickered lightly. “Of course.” She admitted.
Angela perked up in her seat. “So, does this mean that he’s going to take you to prom now?” She asked expectantly, grinning from ear to ear.
Camila’s smile dropped slightly, forcing herself to not let it falter completely. “No.” She said simply, watching as Angela gave an indignant pout. “We already had plans to spend time with each other, and I’m not much of a prom kind of girl I guess.” She explained feebly, hoping the girl would except her answer without much fuss.
Angela sighed disappointedly. “Fine.” She grumbled.
“But don’t worry.” Camila chirped. “I promise to help find the best dress for you.” She said, smiling brightly. Angela’s lips quirked up in answer, happy to hear the words, and conversation quickly changed topic to getting their work done, neither of the two wanting to have to take the work home to do that night instead.
——————
Jasper’s day had drug on at a ridiculously slow pace, the absence of Camila glaringly obvious as he attempted feebly to read one of the books off of his shelves. His eyes scanned the pages, knowing deep down that it was of no use. He wasn’t actually absorbing any of the information, as his mind was clearly elsewhere. He wondered, as he recalled the time before he had met Camila, which in reality had only been a short time ago, how he had occupied his time like this. It now all seemed so monotonous, the same books over and over again, growing bored quickly of them, regardless of how much he had previously cared for the stories. He knew them all by heart by now and he made a mental note to try and get some new book recommendations later from Camila.
Once again, his mind had quickly returned to thoughts of the girl. Shocker. How was he expected to have to do this whole thing again just a day later. It was already torture enough as it was. At least, he reminded himself, that he would have the night that he would be able to see her, even if it was just to be in her company as she slept. It surprised him that such a thing didn’t bore him, although he did understand the appeal. The feel of her warm skin against his own cool body, the steady beat of her heart in his ears, everything was a reminder that, at least for now, she was alive and with him. While at the moment, being away from her felt like nothing but a waste of their time.
Jasper looked over to the clock on the wall for what had to be the thousandth time that day. She would be leaving school now, just that much closer to when he would be able to see her. He would have to wait until the sun set of course. His family were supposed to be out of town camping, so he knew he couldn’t risk anybody seeing him, regardless of if he were to be seen in direct sunlight or not.
It was days like this that made him question the humans in the town’s intelligence, them all seeming to except their rather lousy excuse for missing school fairly easily. Perhaps it had to do with the fact that most people viewed them as outcasts already, but really, what parent would agree to pull their kids out from school just because it happened to be a sunny day? He supposed he should be grateful for their ignorance, but at the moment, all he could do was stare impatiently at the pages of his book, willing time to somehow go by faster.
After an agonizing wait in which felt like eternity, the sun had finally set, and in a blink of an eye, he had fled the glass house, determined to make this the fastest run of his life. As the small pale yellow house came into view, he felt like he could breath again. In truth, he hadn’t noticed the weight on his chest until it had lifted. Unlike their usual routine, when Jasper rounded the corner, he could see her, sitting at the open window, gazing out at the night sky. When her eyes finally met his own, a small smile spread across her face.
“I got overheated.” She explained, stepping back from the open window to allow him inside. It was the truth, one of the many side effects of her illness had caused her to have hot flashes and she had awoken in a particularly bad one at that, but she would be lying if she had said it was the only reason she had been staring out into the wilderness that night. She hadn’t realized just how difficult it would be for her to miss Jasper’s company that day, having already had a drastically decreased amount of time with him that weekend, and she had been counting down the minutes until sunset.
Jasper smiled, pulling her into his cool chest, knowing that the temperature difference would help sooth her without the risk of catching a cold from the chilled February night air. Her face nuzzled into the icy fabric of his clothing, sighing as she allowed herself the comfort of his embrace. All too soon, Jasper parted ways, only to shut the window and drag her to her bed to get comfortable, pulling her back into himself.
“How was school?” He asked, muttering the words into her hair as he rested his head atop hers.
She groaned out a dramatic sound. “Horrible.” She said bluntly, earning a laugh from the golden haired vampire.
He rolled his eyes playfully at her words. “It couldn’t have been that bad, could it?” He asked.
Camila lifted her body, coming to a seat next to him as he wrapped his arm securely around her waist. “Yes actually.” She stated matter of factly. She thought for a moment, looking for the right words that wouldn’t make it seem like his absence alone had completely ruined her day. “It was nice to see Angela and Bella, but Tyler wouldn’t leave me alone.” She groaned out.
Camila had been lucky to avoid Tyler for the most part, but unfortunately, he had of course taken notice of Jasper’s absence and had decided that it was the best time to try and be friends again. Much to her annoyance, he had talked her ear off during lunch and only continued to do so on their way to biology class. All of the talking had created a particularly horrible headache behind her brow and she begged whatever higher power there was that he would shut up for once in his life.
She internally scolded herself for being continuously friendly to him, but realistically, it wasn’t like she could just turn around and be an ass to him when he hadn’t actually done anything wrong since he had apologized. Unfortunately for herself, she had convinced herself to be as kind as possible to everybody unless given a reason not to be. The reality of it was that she didn’t have the time nor energy to be unkind, something the she was starting to question was showing to be true in this case.
By the time their calculous class came around, she was for once happy to have silence. Although she would have much preferred to have Jasper’s company, she was glad to have peace and quiet for the first time that day. She had never been so thankful that they had assigned seats and Tyler was stuck far away from her, finally giving her space to breath. Her head had continued to pound relentlessly as she counted down the minutes until she would be able to return home, take her meds, and sleep off the migraine. A sleep that she had just recently woken from.
Tyler. The boys name had caused Jasper’s body to stiffen. He knew it wasn’t his right to be bothered by him, but in all truth he couldn’t stand the boy. Maybe it was mostly jealousy, but he had jus rubbed him the wrong way from the beginning. “He wouldn’t shut up, and I’m not trying to be rude, but we aren’t even really friends and he was giving me a headache.” She admitted, a grimace casted on her face.
Jasper laughed lightly, relieved that the boy hadn’t gone and upset her with his words yet again. “Only one more day, and we’ll be back. I promise to scare him off.” He joked, a smirk unwavering on his lips.
Camila threw her head back in a groan as she pouted her lips childishly, Jasper desperately wanting to kiss the pout away. “I don’t know if I’ll make it.” She said dramatically.
Jasper leaned forwards, bringing his lips to hers, deciding to not hold back any longer as he gave her a light kiss upon her lips. She smiled into his touch, the playful pout melting instantly as she molded her mouth to his. He pulled away, not allowing the kiss to last too long. He gave her a sheepish smile before speaking. “If it makes you feel any better, I was almost bored to death without you.” He admitted.
Camila smiled lightly, glad to know that the ‘torture’ was not one sided. One more day and he would be back, she could do it, right? “I’m almost tempted to skip tomorrow.” She admitted. “But I promised Angela that I would go prom dress shopping with her in Port Angeles after school, so I can’t really act sick for half the day very easily.” She continued.
Jasper quirked an eyebrow at his girlfriend. “Are we going to prom?” He asked confused. He had been sure the event had been off of the table given her physical limitations, but now he wasn’t so sure. Perhaps she had changed her mind now that they were dating. Maybe it was him who dropped the ball when he hadn’t asked to make sure his theory was correct.
She shook her head. “No, defiantly not. Even if I could go, I don’t think I’d want to. I’d rather just spend time alone with you.” She admitted, allowing Jasper to let out an internal sigh of relief. “I just promised to help her find a dress is all.” She said.
He nodded his head in understanding, ignoring the lump in his throat. He wasn’t sure why, but for some reason, the idea of her being out in the city without him made a chill go up his spine, even if the reality of it was impossible. Realistically what could go wrong? She would be out with friends and she would be able to sit the majority of the time. Regardless, he couldn’t shake the feeling of something bad happening. “Text me if you need me to pick you up early.” He said, receiving a gracious nod from her in response.
He tried his best to shake his unease as he sat with her, holding her, and allowing the touch of her blazing skin on his own to calm the racing thoughts in his mind. He changed the subject, remembering to ask for book recommendations as he attempted to steer his mind from the unnecessary panic that refused to leave.
——————
February 8th, 2005
Camila had never wished more to take her jacket off, the heat of the day causing a sheen of sweet to cover her forehead, despite the temperature not being above seventy. Of course, the entire school had decided to sit outdoors, given the ‘beautiful’ weather, and the long sleeves that she wore were beginning to stick to her skin. She wondered briefly if it was worth it to try and cover the bruises with makeup rather than the extra layer of fabric.
Her thoughts halted as she realized that this solution would only end up solving one of her two issues. Her bones would still continue to protrude from her muscles, something that was sure to only get worse as she grew sicker and sicker. The last thing she needed was people growing concerned of her health in any way shape or form.
She shook the thoughts from her head, looking up from the unappetizing food to Bella who was sat opposite on the picnic table. The girl’s eyes wandered around at the crowd of students gathered in the unusual sunny grounds, seemingly anxious about something. “He’s not here.” Jessica spoke from her spot atop the table where she perched soaking in the rays of sunshine. Bella looked up, slightly embarrassed that she had been caught looking for him. “Whenever the weather’s nice, the Cullens disappear.” She explained, eyes closed as her face tilted up towards they sky.
Bella looked to her, slightly confused. “What, do they just ditch?” She asked curiously.
“No, Dr. and Mrs. Cullen yank them out for, like hiking and camping and stuff.” Jessica explained. Camila hummed, a small smirk forming on her lips. Was this really the excuse they had come up with? It was kind of lame is she was being honest. Very vague at lease, but did she really expect anything else at this point? “I tried that out on my parents. Not even close.” Jessica continued, earning a snicker from Camila.
Angela rushed towards the group, her long brunette hair falling over her shoulders as she settled into a spot next to Bella. “Bella, are you sure you have to go out of town for prom? Camila isn’t going either. It’s going to be lonely without you guys.” She said, giving a dramatic pout.
Bella grimaced at the question, seemingly just as perturbed as anytime Camila had been asked about the topic. “Oh, yeah, it’s a little family thing.” She explained dismissively. She turned to Camila, arching an eyebrow at the girl. “You’re not going?” She asked, surprised by the fact that she had not been the only one in the small town that hadn’t wished to attend the event.
“What? Couldn’t find a date?” Jessica asked, attempting to pass the snide remark off as a playful joke. Camila’s face dropped, giving her a slight glare not allowing the girl’s comment to pass without a reaction from her.
Angela perked up, wanting to defend her new friend. “Actually, her and Jasper are dating, but apparently neither of them wanted to go, so they made other plans.” She said, smiling as she gave Camila a teasing glance, causing a blush to creep up to her cheeks. Of course, anytime anyone mentioned him, she had to blush like a little girl with a crush. Honestly, who was she kidding? She wasn’t any better than that anyway.
Jessica grimaced at the information, muttering something about Jasper ‘being even more of a weirdo than Alice’, earning an even more intense glare from Camila. “Okay, are we still good to go shopping in Port Angeles? I want to go before all the good dresses get cleaned out.” She asked Angela, deflecting the negative attention from the girl beside her.
Angela nodded enthusiastically, smiling at Camila as she nodded as well. A shrill bell rang throughout the courtyard, signaling the end of the lunch period. Camila stood, grabbing her lunch tray from the table, attempting to hide how little she had eaten from the greasy array of food with her crumpled up napkin.
Bella hesitated as the students began to head inside for the next half of classes for the day. “Port Angeles? You mind if I come?” Bella asked.
“Yeah, I need your opinion.” Angela said, grinning widely. Camila sighed, happy that she would have another friend there as a buffer between her and Jessica. It was no secret that the two didn’t like each other. Jessica clearly didn’t like to be talked back to in any sense of the phrase, and Camila wasn’t one to just sit there and take her bullying lightly. The two were bound to butt heads, but luckily she would have Angela and Bella there to lighten the blow of the inevitable disagreements that were to come.
——————
“I like this one, but, like I don’t know about the whole one shoulder thing.” Jessica said, holding the pink spaghetti strap dress in front of her body in the mirror to get a good look at herself. Angela nodded saying something about how the color looked good against her skin.
Angela held up a dress of her own. “I like this one. What do you think?” She asked Camila expectantly, a bright look in her eye.
Camila smiles taking in the sight before her, trying her best not to grimace as the headache pounding behind her temple got worse. “Yeah, I like the beading, and you wouldn’t need jewelry.” She argued, giving her best effort in sounding like she was interested and not like she was in a lot of pain. She pulled at the collar of her shirt, a cold sweat covering her forehead. Great, another hot flash, just what she needed.
They had been in the same dress shop from what seemed like hours and had barely gotten anywhere when it came to actually finding dressed for the two girls in front if her. Of course, within that time, her pain meds had completely worn off and the ache in her bones was beginning to rival the pounding in her head.
Angela turned. “Jess, what do you think? Lavender?” She asked the girl, gesturing to dress she was currently wearing. “Is that good? Is that my color?” She continued, fidgeting with the fabric that clung to her body.
“I like it.” Jessica said quickly. “I like that dusty rose one, too.” She said, turning back to the mirror to admire her own reflection. “Okay, I like this one. It makes my boobs look good.” She said, flipping her hair over her shoulder.
Knocking on the glass of the window behind her, Camila turned to see a group of four men passing by, all ogling over the girls in the shop before them. “Nice!” One of them yelled, loud enough for the group of girls to hear them through the glass. Camila grimaced lightly at the interaction.
Jessica scoffed, clearly flattered given the wide grin on her face. “That is uncomfortable.” She said, voice trailing off.
“That’s disgusting.” Bella muttered, looking down at the book in her hands, earning an absent minded nod from Camila.
Jessica perked up once more. “Bella, what do you think?” She asked.
Bella looked up, finally giving the two dresses attention as her eyes left the pages of her book. “That looks great.” She said dismissively.
“You said that about, like, the last five dresses, though.” She said, smile dropping slightly as she twirled her hair around her finger.
Bella smiled bashfully. “I thought they were all pretty good.” She said, laughing lightly.
Angela looked towards the two girls sitting on the cushioned bench. “You guys aren’t really into this are you?” She asked frowning.
Camila’s smile dropped, feeling bad that she wasn’t giving Angela the experience she had been looking for. She was trying to sounds enthusiastic, but if she was being honest, she really didn’t care about the dresses at all. All she had wanted was to spend some time with friends outside of school, but now, with the music playing throughout the store, the bright lights, and the hundreds of questions about her opinion of the different dresses they had tried on over the past hour, she was just tired and overstimulated. The pounding of her temples proved that she couldn’t take it much longer.
“I actually really just want to go to this bookstore.” Bella admitted, giving an apologetic smile. “I’ll meet you guys at the restaurant?” She suggested.
Camila’s ears perked up at this, a perfect excuse to finally leave this god forsaken dress shop. “Do you mind if I come with? I could use some fresh air.” She asked, knowing she would most likely regret it soon, needing to walk to the book shop, but not being able to help herself. If she was being honest, she was almost certain that if she stayed in this shop one more minute her head might explode. Bella nodded, grabbing her coat before leading the way to the door outside.
Camila let out a sigh of relief as the cool air hit her face, glad to finally be free of the stuffy environment of the shop. Pain ricocheted up her legs as her steps landed on the pavement, attempting to give the pain little thought as she was just glad to have some quiet and cool air on her skin. It frustrated her to no end of course that she was incapable of doing such a simple thing as going shopping with friends, but she would be lying if she said that she hadn’t thought something like this was likely to happen. She would, however, enjoy it while it lasted, knowing she wouldn’t even have the opportunity to do so for much longer.
It was moments like this that made her happy that Bella was a particularly quiet person, and if she was being honest, she quite enjoyed the girls silent company. Her migraine was finally starting to subside as the small book shop came into view. Camila gave Bella a soft smile as she opted to stay outside in the cool air. She checked behind her, to make sure the girl had entered the shop before tearing the long sleeved zip-up hoodie from her frail arms, letting a sigh of relief leave her lips as the cool wind hit her blazing skin.
She looked down at the pale skin the stretched loosely across her arms, the area scattered with varying shades of bruises. She knew she would only have a moment of sweet relief before Bella returned, so she closed her eyes and chose to savor the time she had been allowed. Her eyes opened, gazing out at the sunset before her. She hadn’t actually realized how late it had gotten and internally scolded herself for the missed time she would end up having with Jasper that night.
She sucked in a deep breath, taking note of how her chest tightened uncomfortably. Dr Cullen had warned her of the discomfort that breathing would soon bring, but as prepared as she thought she was, she knew that the inevitable struggle would not be anything she could ever be truly prepared for. She knew that this was just the beginning of how horrible it would end up feeling for her. The reality of dying would one day end up being too much for her to handle.
She wondered for a moment if taking the opportunity that Jasper had offered when the time came would make her brave or a coward. What in the end would be the easy solution? Dying and leaving him, or living and leaving everyone else she loved? In that moment, she wasn’t sure, but she did know what her heart yearned for. The image of his amber eyes flooded her thoughts, the idea of him alone, calming her unsteady breaths.
A soft bell jingled behind her, pulling her from her wandering thoughts as she quickly pulled the fabric back up her arms and onto her shoulders. She turned taking in the site of Bella walking towards her holding a small book in her hand. “Ready?” She asked, gesturing with a nod to the road ahead. Camila nodded, giving a small smile as they started the trek back to where the restaurant was.
Their shoes thudded against the sidewalk as they walked in silence, a fog starting to settle in around them. They turned, cutting in between two buildings, taking the same route back that they had taken to get there. Suddenly, it became glaringly obvious the stark difference between the alley during the day and at night, and just as suddenly, Camila felt a chill run up her spine. Not the same chill she would get when Jasper touched her, but an eery chill.
Stood there on the other side of the ally was the group of men who had passed by at the dress shop, looking much more menacing under the dim glow of the street lights. One of the men had just spotted them and had turned in his tracks to move towards them, the rest of the men following his lead. Camila grabbed Bella’s arm, turning back around before swiftly retracing their steps onto the trail they had just taken.
They were now in a much bigger clearing, although just as deserted, and Camila chastised her self mentally for letting her pain and jumbled thoughts cloud her judgement. She wasn’t stupid, but god did she feel like she was in that moment. If she had been paying more attention she would’ve noticed the time of day or even the lack of people on their walk to the book store.
Footsteps echoed throughout the air, the men no doubt following them further into the clearing. “Saw you in the dress store.” One of the men called out loudly. Camila forced her eyes to remain ahead, as if ignoring the men would make them disappear.
“Hey, where are you running to?” Another yelled. Camila’s heart began to race, hearing the thudding in her ears, breath becoming shallow and quick, her lungs tightening with every gasp for air.
Blinking rapidly, trying to calm her heart and her mind as the panic set it, three more men came into view on the other end of the lot. “What up? It’s my girls.” One said, his eyes meeting hers as the other three coming in closer. A menacing smirk coated his face as she tired to look anywhere but into his dark terrifying eyes.
One man from behind called out to another. “How you guys doing? Look who we just found.”
Camila’s hand tightened around Bella’s arm, attempting to ground herself in the moment and not settle into a full blown panic attack.
“What’s up, girls?”
“Hey, where are you going?”
“Where are you going?”
“Come get a drink with us.”
“Yeah, you should hang out with us, come on.”
“It’s fun.”
“What’s the problem?” “You’re pretty.”
Voices called out around them as the men got closer and closer starting to cage them in and breaking them apart from each other. Fuck. This couldn’t be happening. The one time she went out with friends, and this happens? Really? Panic was really starting to set in as her mind began to wander further. It was one thing for this to happen to her, I mean her life was about to end anyway, but Bella too? She had her whole life ahead of her.
“Don’t touch me.” Bella snapped, pulling her arm from one of the men harshly.
The voices continued to ramble around them. Sadness bloomed in her chest as reality sunk in. Unless a miracle happened soon, they would likely end up dead by the end of this and despite having thought that she was prepared for death, she couldn’t get Jasper’s face out of her mind. Maybe she wasn’t as ready for the end as she had thought. The thought of leaving Jasper was what hurt the most, leaving a gaping hole in her heart. Maybe she was a coward, maybe not, in that moment she didn’t care. All she cared about was him.
Darkness started to encroach her vision, seeping in from all sides. Her body started to feel heavy, pain shooting up her arm as one of the men grabbed harshly at her, his fingers digging into her flesh. She was certain she would faint soon when all of a sudden, the screeching of tires against the pavement behind her cut through her jumbled thoughts.
She turned her head feebly, a silver Volvo whipping around the corner, causing the men to jump back. Wait a second. She knew that car. Edward, thank god. She thought, relief flooding her veins. She had been sure that they were goners, destined to end up on some Dateline or CSI episode.
The car jerked to a stop, Edward popping out of the driver seat, quickly followed by Jasper from the passenger seat. “Get in the car.” Edward instructed Bella.
Jasper rushed to Camila’s side, wrapping his arm tightly around her waist as he allowed her to rest her bodyweight on him, leading her to the back seat of the car. He sat her against the leather seats, pulling back to look her in the eyes.
Camila took in the view of his face, his hand coming up to brush her cheek gently. “Are you okay?” He asked, concern filling his voice. She nodded in response, letting out a deep shaky breath she didn’t know she had been holding. Relief flooded through her. She wasn’t going to die tonight. Jasper had saved her. Tears pricked her eyes as she pulled him towards her by the collar of his shirt into her open arms.
She wrapped them tightly around his neck, breathing in his scent. “Thank you.” She whispered, her breath catching in her throat as she tried to blink back the tears.
Jasper willed himself to pull away from her grip, pressing his lips to hers fiercely before pulling away quicker than he would have liked as he backed up further onto the pavement. “I’ll be right back, stay here.” He instructed, forcing his eyes to leave hers as he stepped away.
Jasper stood to his full height, closing the door of the vehicle behind him, turning to look at the group of men before him. White hot anger ripped through his chest as he assessed the men. He wanted to kill them. To rip them to shreds for even thinking about doing anything to her. The truth was, if Edward hadn’t convinced Jasper to come along on a trip to watch over Camila and Bella then they would have gone through with the unspeakable.
Edward had seen what one of the men was thinking. Had seen that he had done this sort of thing to other women before. Had seen that he would do it again given the chance. Jasper squared his shoulders pushing his power out from himself. Pushing fear into the minds of the men before him. Unspeakable fear that would never leave them, never completely. A waking nightmare that would terrify them to their last days, because as much as he wanted to physically hurt them, he knew that he couldn’t. Not with Camila so close and already afraid. This would be the next best thing. This would have to suffice. This would have to tame the beast inside of him.
Their faces morphed into looks of terror and Jasper watched, only slightly satisfied as he watched them scramble away as quickly as their feet would take them. Wishing that he could’ve somehow inflicted more terror on the men.
Jasper turned back to the car, rushing to get inside as Edward closed the driver side door. He joined Camila in the back seat, pulling her towards him and wrapping her into his grasp as Edward sped away from the scene. Camila shook in his arms, the reality of everything that had just happened lingering in the air around them. Vaguely, Jasper could hear the voices of Edward and Bella in the front of the vehicle, although he paid them no mind. All that mattered to him in that moment was Camila.
He had known deep down that something would happen, he didn’t however think it would have ever been something like this. Something like a group of revolting men attempting to take her away from him. His jaw clenched at the mere thought of it, the idea infuriating him to no end.
But what enraged him the most was the terror radiating off of Camila. The terror that those vile men inflicted on her. He realized that it was slightly hypocritical to think of these men as monsters while he sat there, knowing of his own past, knowing of the blood on his hands, but he knew he would never even think of doing such a thing to a woman.
The fact that these men had been about to do such unspeakable things to anyone was bad enough, but to her? The fire in his chest burned hotter as he imagined what he would’ve done to the men had it not been for Camila’s presence. Vivid images overtook his mind. Ripping. Tearing. Blood. Mangled bodies littering the ground. For a moment, he imagined indulging himself on that blood, feasting on the terrible men and for the first time in so long, truly satisfying his eternal thirst.
“Jasper.” Edward hissed through his teeth. Jasper’s eyes shot up to meet his brother’s in the rear view mirror, seeing his seething glare. He realized in that moment that his vivid mental imagery probably wasn’t helping Edward deal with his own fury over the situation.
Jasper sucked in a breath that his lungs didn’t need. “Sorry.” He muttered in reply, turning his attention back to the girl in his arms. She gave no sign of fright, her expression completely blank as she looked ahead in a daze, but her body continued to shake ever so slightly. Jasper felt the fear, radiating outwards from her and focused his power on trying to sooth her. Her body relaxed in his arms, letting out a sigh as she buried her face in his neck, breathing in the musky scent of him.
“Thank you.” She muttered into his skin. She wasn’t exactly sure what she was thanking him for, whether it be saving her, or helping calm her down, or both even, but she thanked him nonetheless. Regardless of its’ origin, she needed her gratitude for him to be known.
Time moved quickly in a blur around her as the car suddenly came to a halt. She looked up, realizing that Edward had parked the car, seeming to have driven to the restaurant that they had planned on meeting Angela and Jessica at. Camila’s eyes flickered up to Jasper’ face in question. “We should get you something to eat.” He said softly, brushing a strand of hair out of her face.
Her eyes bore into his pleadingly. “Can we please stay in the car? I’ll eat when I get home, promise.” She begged, wanting the privacy that the restaurant would not be able to provide. In truth, she hadn’t wanted to leave his arms, his comforting embrace being one of the only things in that moment keeping her grounded. The security of his strong arms around her made her feel safe, made her feel like she was home. In reality, that is what he had become to her, her home.
Jasper paused for a moment, contemplating their options before nodding. Bella was sure to have many questions and this was definitely not the time for anything resembling a double date.
Soon, the two were alone the radio playing softly in the background of their silence. “I’m sorry.” Camila muttered quietly, breaking the comfortable silence.
Jasper’s head turned, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “What do you have to be sorry for?” He asked, grabbing her chin to turn her head to force her eyes to his own.
She sucked in a shaky breath, “I wasn’t thinking when I left with Bella or I would’ve convinced her to stay with Jessica and Angela. I had headache and needed some fresh air and-“ She rambled on.
“You don’t have anything to apologize for.” He interrupted, having not had the patience to listen to her attempt to punish herself further. “It is not your fault that there are horrible people in the world.” He assured her, resting his forehead on hers.
Camila closed her eyes, focusing on the feel of Jasper’s skin against her own. She was beyond lucky and she knew it. Lucky that Edward and Jasper were there, listening, paying attention to make sure that Bella and her were safe. She would have thanked him again if it weren’t for his persistence that it wasn’t her fault. Camila knew that it was though, knew that she should have been thinking more clearly, should have been more aware.
So, instead of thanking him once more verbally, she leaned forward to plant a kiss to his lips. She leaned fervently into the touch, pouring every ounce of emotion into the kiss as possible, her lips moving in sync with his own. In that moment she knew. Knew that this was the coward’s way out. Choosing Jasper was most definitely the easier of her two options. Living her life with him, grasping at their forever had to be the cowardly choice, because the other option seemed so much more torturous.
Next Chapter -coming soon
Tag List:
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Mel’s Terms of Endearment Headcanons ~Melissa Schemmenti xFem Girlfriend!Reader
It struck me that since Melissa is Italian, there could be some great headcanons for nicknames for her girlfriend. I found this page, that was helpful on Italian terms of endearment. And so, I bring you these headcanons: (Also, this is by no means an exhaustive list of the nicknames I think Melissa would use)
Mommy… Master List
Requests & Prompt-List
Warnings: implied NSFW, lots of fluff, blushing, light teasing, terms of endearment, pet names, nicknames, kissing, PDA, jealousy, implied exhibitionist kink, implied strap-on fucking, body adoration, rough menstrual cycle, implied smut, quick heated kiss, comforting, little angst, fluffy fluff fluff, etc.
Enjoy (:
Hun’
Hun’ is for most public situations. This is Mel’s across the board term of endearment when there are others around.
“Hey Hun’…?” Melissa called out from her classroom to you passing in the hallway.
You feet immediately swiveled to the sound of your girlfriend summoning you. You popped your head into the classroom full of kids and your favorite red head.
“Yeah, what’s up, Mel?” You lovingly chirped.
The woman swayed over to you.
“I think I left some copies for my class on the printer… Would you mind watching my class while I go grab them?” She gently asked, batting her eyelashes at you.
You chuckled lightly and blushed.
You couldn’t ever deny this woman anything…
“I’m going to the office anyway, let me grab your copies for you…” you answered.
Melissa’s face lit up and a smirk plastered her face.
“Love ya…!” She cooed, quiet enough for none of the kids to hear.
“You too, baby…” you replied in a hushed tone, turning around and making your way to the office for the red head.
~~~
Babe
Babe is a higher level of Hun’. Mel uses it sometimes in public, and it’s a tad more affectionate. This her go-to if she wants to establish that your hers…
Barbara had a teachers aid this year. Not that’s he needed it, no, not at all. But Barbara had volunteered to take the sweet girl on, so that she could learn a bit about teaching first hand.
She was young, like you. She was actually younger than you, but closer in age than you and Melissa. And she immediately took to liking you.
A little too much in Melissa’s opinion…
Melissa was at lunch per usual, and she was taking rather harsh stabs at her salad.
“Melissa, Dear, now what has that salad done to you…?” Barbara teased lightly, but also genuinely curious and concerned for her colleague.
“Your new teachers aid…” The red head grumbled.
“What are you—” Barbara began, but her eyes got distracted at you in the hallway.
You were just trying to walk to the break room, when the young woman stepped in front of you. You yelped slightly. She began talking to you and very obviously flirting a bit.
It’s not that she was horrible… Your heart simply belonged to someone else. But she had taken you so aback and was talking so much, you barely got a word in. From the corner of your eye, you could see Barbara and Melissa watching.
You could feel Melissa’s hard and intent gaze…
And before you knew it, the red head was up from her seat and beside you. She linked her arm around yours and looked to you.
“Don’t mean to interrupt…”
She most definitely did.
“But I need your help, Babe… In my classroom. Now.” She gritted out with the most fake smile.
She practically dragged you back to her classroom, closed the door, and slammed you against it. Her lips smashed against yours. You moaned lightly at her fervor.
“Mel… we’re in public…” you panted.
“Don’t Care… she can’t have you… your mine…” she rambled into the kiss.
You chuckled lightly and took the woman by the cheeks, meeting her gaze.
“Baby, im yours. Only yours. No one else’s.” You reassured your girlfriend.
This seemed to calm her down a bit.
“Alright…” she sighed.
“Good.”
You smiled lightly and gave her a peck on the lips.
“But I get first dips on the strap when we get home…” she murmured.
You dropped your jaw for dramatic effect and swatted the red head. This led to both of you chuckling and laughing your way happily back to the break room.
~~~
Cutie
Cutie is reserved for Melissa’s sweet and tender moments or her term for you when she’s edging you in or out of your subspace. This one is not said in public as much, it’s more of a private, little nickname that never fails to make you blush…
You sat on the couch, cradling yourself, a tub of ice cream at your side, and the tv on. You had called out of work today, because of your cramps. They were the worst sometimes. At best, you were in constant, stabbing pains, but still able to walk. At worst, they completely incapacitated you.
At 6, your red headed girfriend walked through the door. Her eyes immediately met your hurting frame. She put her stuff down, taking her jacket off, and made her way over to you on the couch. She placed the ice cream on the living room table and you whimpered slightly.
But you sighed out in content as the red head moved you to lay in her lap. She began stroking your hair and moving down your frame. Eventually, your eyes moved from the tv screen to Mel’s. Your eyes were glossy and looked exhausted.
“Hey Baby…” Melissa gently cooed.
“Hi…” your hoarse throat managed to get out.
“Haven’t slept…?”
You shook your head. The red head hummed in response, continuing to caress your frame.
Another thing about your period… It made your hormones wild. It was like a heat…
You could feel your core already warming up in need, and your hips began to move instinctually into your girlfriends lap. You then felt her hands pick you up, so that you were sitting in her lap.
“Want me to take care of ya…?” She lovingly asked.
You pouted with your lips and eyes, nodding eagerly. Melissa chuckled lightly at how adorable you were.
“Such a hopeless Cutie, aren’t ya…?” She softly purred.
You bit your lip and nodded. She then began taking off the oversized hoodie, exposing your chest to the woman. Her eyes widened at your top naked half.
Damn, she would never get tired of your body…
~~~
Amore (love)
Amore is when Mel is feeling romantic or wants to express her commitment to you. This is to remind you and her of your partnership and her Italian roots. This is for more intimate, loving moments, and is used less, but on occasion in public.
It was date night.
Every Friday, you and your red headed girlfriend set aside everything for date night. With both of you working, you had found it tricky to get time with each other. Date night was one solution to this dilemma.
You walked through the front door and were immediately met with the aroma of Mel’s fabulous cooking.
She must have beaten you home…
You set down your things and made your way into the kitchen. The red head was standing by the counter, making a sauce of some sorts. You came up from behind and wrapped your arms around the woman. Melissa immediately relaxed at your touch.
“Heyyy Amore…” she hummed.
“Hi Baby…” you whispered, beginning to lovingly pepper kisses along her neck and shoulders.
“Watcha making…?” You curiously asked.
“Ravioli…” Melissa hummed.
You hummed in delight at the red heads words.
“I’ll set the table…!” You chirped, making Melissa chuckle lightly.
Once the table has been set, and Melissa had brought over the food, you two could properly eat. But before you both went to sit down, you stopped the red head by the side of the table, lovingly connecting your lips to hers. She caringly met your lips. You both hummed happily into each others lips. But as soon as the kiss was getting heated, your girlfriend pulled away.
“Later Amore, Let’s eat first…” she cooed.
You bit your lip, blushing lightly, and nodded in agreement. You both then sat down and enjoyed your meal, discussing each others days and such.
Later indeed…
~~~
Cucciola (cub/baby)
Cucciola is used by Mel for sweet, intimate moments where she somehow has the upper hand, power, something over you. It’s very loving like Amore. But also on the other hand, this is the nickname for her replacement for Baby. Melissa uses this in more private occasions and less in public, but when she does use it in public, it never fails to make you blush.
Melissa waltzed into the break room and sat down next to Barbara.
“Well you seem awfully chipper today, dear…” Barb hummed.
Melissa had a big smile plastered on her face as she nodded.
“Got my leftover lasagna from the weekend with me…!” She quipped.
But as the red head went to open her lunch bag, she realized it wasn’t hers… It was yours… She internally smacked herself in the face. A frustrated groan left the woman’s lift.
“What’s wrong?” Barbara asked.
“Accidentally swapped my lunch with Y/N’s…” she grumbled, packing your salad back up and standing up.
“Be right back…!” She sighed.
Melissa walked down the hallways until she reached your classroom. She knocked lightly, hating to interrupt you as you were finishing up your class. You came to the door, your face brightening at the sight of your girlfriend.
“Hey Baby… What’s up…?” You whispered.
“Our lunches seem to be swapped.” She spoke in a low tone, showing you your lunch bag, “Be a doll and grab mine, Cucciola…?”
Your breath hitched lightly at the nickname and blushed. You nodded and immediately went to your desk and grabbed Melissa’s lunch, bringing it back to the door.
“Thank you, Cucciola.” She sighed in relief, “You’re a lifesaver…”
She gave you a kiss on the cheek and left, leaving you light headed and flustered.
~~~
Cucciolina (little cub/baby)
Cucciolina is close to Cucciola, except it’s used at an even more extreme of when Mel wants to show her being above you in some way. It’s also a very soft term of endearment. This is rarely used in public, unless Melissa is purposely teasing you somehow.
You were cuddled up with your red headed girlfriend on the couch when the oven timer started blaring through the room.
Your face lit up with excitement and giddiness, and you practically jumped off Melissa’s lap, running into the kitchen. You could already smell it… Mel’s famous baked ziti.
“Wait, Amore!! Be careful, it’s hot—!!” The woman warned with a shout to you in the kitchen.
But you did not head her advice. No, you were too excited. Melissa got up from the couch with a chuckle. She heard a little bit of clattering and then silence. She made her way into the kitchen, only to find you sitting on the counter, your face contorted in pain and your hand cradling three of your fingers. Tears threatened to form.
The red head immediately rushed over to you, checking you up and down to see the extent of your injuries.
“Cucciolina, what happened??” She spoke, her tone laced with care and concern.
You looked at the woman with your lips trembling slightly. She then moved her focus to your face and fingers, watching a silent tear escape your eyelid.
“I… too hot… didn’t think… Mel…hurts…” you whimpered, in pain but also embarrassed that you hadn’t listened to Melissa, and a few more tears escaped your eyes.
She took your three fingers to examine the damage, and she wasn’t going to lie, you had burned yourself pretty badly. Melissa took you in her embrace lovingly, comforting you.
“I’m here, Cucciolina, don’t you worry… It’s okay to cry… I’ll take care of you.” She cooed.
You nodded with more tears falling down your cheeks and running down your chin. The red head proceeded to kiss your tears away. She then went to the oven, turned it off, and went over to the freezer to grab some ice. She wrapped the ice around a towel and wrapped that around your finger.
Melissa then scooped you up and carried you back to the couch, laying you in her lap. You snuggled into the woman’s embrace. Silence took the room, except for your occasional whimpers and silent tears. The red head eventually began caressing your form, running her fingers through your hair and stroking your spine lovingly.
“Mel…? Can I have some baked ziti…?” You eventually whispered.
This made the Melissa chuckle lightly.
“Sure, Amore. I’ll get you some.” She cooed.
~~~
Melissa Schemmenti Masterlist
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It may be possible to make a whole cycle out of this, but let's see if someone likes it)
It doesn't even have a name yet, but maybe it will appear a little later.
Warning: age difference (implied) ; Yandere! Leon; full control of the reader; a bit of psychological abuse.
(the author got a little fucked up and missed all the deadlines for laying out this strange text, but the work is killing me)
You were emotionally dependent on him. Leon Scott Kennedy has completely taken over your life, managing you like a pet, controlling your every move. Like some kind of subcutaneous tick, he climbed deep inside you if only you were always next to him.
You don't even remember how long ago it started. What was perceived as caring was actually a huge red flag that you saw too late or Leon was just good at hiding his possessive attitude towards you. Now there's nothing to fix. The door to his office is ajar and you are not actually allowed in, but if Leon is at work it always means that his control is loosening a bit. You carefully looked through the crack and saw that he was sitting at a laptop and writing some kind of report. A pile of papers scattered all over the table indicated that it was inundated with paperwork. You didn't bother him. She just slipped past on tiptoe, trying to be as quiet as possible.
It was actually only early in the morning, but you think Leon didn't even go to bed. His fingers continued to tap on the keyboard, and he sighed deeply from exhaustion every now and then. You never got up so early and just wanted to go to the kitchen to drink some water and lie back in a warm bed. Eagerly swallowing water, you could not help but see people running past doing morning jogging, and your heart ached a little with envy.
The weather was so nice outside that you wanted to go for a run, even if you were sleepy.
"You didn't think I wouldn't see you peeping..." Leon's arms closed around your waist, holding you tight against his chest. You set your glass aside and Leon turned you around holding your chin. "What if someone saw my sweet girl in her underwear?"
Oooh, it was strictly forbidden, something that could have pissed off Leon in a split second if a man running past saw you standing in panties and a tank top.
You remained silent, apologetically lowering your gaze. Leon just sighed and reached for your lips, planting a kiss in the very corner. "You always have to be watched over." Leon let out a sort of disappointed yet relieved sigh as he pulled you into a hug, resting his head on the top of your head.
It kills. Sucks out life. He has made you a helpless child who cannot take a single step without him.
"Let's go to bed," a shiver ran through your body. "Be a good girl to me. I love you so much"
He pulled off your shirt, making you shiver in the cool air. Leon picked you up in his arms, carrying you back to the bedroom, where he gently laid you on the bed and began to undress himself to lie under the covers.
"Sweetheart," His voice sounded uncomfortably in his ear as Leon practically lay down on your back, hugging your waist like you were his favorite pillow. His lips found your neck as a hand from your waist moved to your thigh, tugging at the elastic of lace panties, pulling them off your legs. “My poor baby, you can’t do without me at all, am I right? How can I let you go somewhere alone if something is sure to happen to you?"
Tears flowed from your eyes. You could... you were on your own before you met him, but now? A huge part of you no longer belongs to you. You don't have a job, because he knows how to persuade ... you remember just a touch and a gentle, begging whisper over your lips when he towered over you. Leon knows how to drive crazy, knows how to take what he wants and left everything for his hugs. Leon has a very sick concept of love.
"I don't want that kind of relationship, Leon..." You croaked, knowing in advance that it was a failed attempt. Leon just turned you around kissing your forehead and you could feel his muscles tensing up. He never hit you, but his pressure was much worse.
"What relationship do you not want?" Leon's serious voice made you tremble. "Am I treating you bad? You don't even have to do anything. What's on your mind again?"
Silence. Leon seemed to have a counterargument to any of your claims after which you felt terrible. It’s as if you are ungrateful, and he is a dream man who gives everything you want and really Leon never limited you in money: the best outfits, expensive gifts, any purchases. He was much older than you and your friends always thought that you just found yourself a sugar daddy who pays you everything. Oh, how wrong they were!
He adored you to the point of some hidden madness.
Leon kept saying that he was already tired. That his job has taken a normal life away from him, but you don't even know what he does. Working for the government has a somewhat vague concept. And, probably, this work did something with his psyche, if he has some kind of unhealthy mania to keep you away from everyone and always next to him.
"So what kind of relationship do you want?" Again he asks the question. "Talk to me"
"Why are you doing it?"
"Doing what?" Leon turned you around, pressing you to his chest as if you were some kind of child, and his eyes seemed to have grown rough.
You knew it was useless. That even if you leave and try to return to your old life, Leon will make it so that you can't live without him. You loved him before the manifestation of all the red flags, and now you yourself did not know how you feel for him.
"I want to go out, spend time with friends, work... I can't be..."
"Oh, what a silly girl you are." Leon sighed wearily, but his voice softened. He pulled you closer to him, lightly stroking your hair. "But I understand. You just didn’t see what I saw. In fact, you should be glad that I take care of you. Everything I do is only for your benefit, and am I forcibly keeping you at home? We can go for a walk a little later, and you don’t need to work at all. Anything can happen there, and I won’t be there to protect you. Plus, I fully provide for you." Leon took a deep breath, closing his eyes, holding you tightly by his side.
He did not beat you, did not starve you, did not humiliate you, but destroyed you slowly and morally. You buried yourself in his broad chest, wondering if it's okay to accept such love? A love in which all your actions must be approved by Leon...
You can't go anywhere without his permission. But maybe you just need to learn to accept his love? In the end, which of the men will care about you so much? Maybe you're really lucky to have met Leon?
"What are you thinking about," Leon literally felt your excitement, as if some kind of sensor was built into him. He pulled back a little to look into your eyes.
"About nothing," you lied, but Leon knew you too well.
"You know I don't like being lied to!" A shiver ran through your body at his insinuating voice. "Look at me"
"I'm not lying, it's just that you... control me all the time"
"Does my concern feel like control?" You looked up at him, meeting his beautiful eyes, which were genuinely offended, and yet they looked too attractive. His bangs fell into his eyes as he chuckled bitterly. "Sweetheart, you're just too young. I don't blame you, but without me, what are you going to do? Working as a waitress in a cheap diner and smiling at horny bastards who dream of groping you? You're only my girl, and no one has the right to touch you".
His overprotection was depressing. Leon wrapped his arms around your hips, hovering over you, making you dependent on him. His excitement grew with every second from the sight of your naked body. Leon was possessive. Until you started living together, he did not show this trait of his character much, but later this quality manifested itself more and more clearly. Do you still remember when your college friend picked you up for fun, throwing you over his shoulder and what a scandal Leon gave you at home, bringing you to tears. The wall is still dented from his fist, making you wince every time you see it. Kennedy had a sick attachment to you mixed with the fear that you would leave him and never love him again. That you will find yourself another man, one of your peers, but that day you assured him with tears in your eyes that you did not cheat on him. Leon yelled at you so hard that your legs were bent and you sat on the floor when he swung at you for the first time. Pressing a palm to a blazing cheek. It was the first and last time he hit you in a fit of jealousy. Leon himself was frightened of what he did, his subsequent concern and scattering of comforting compliments could not make you forgive him for this, and this burden still hangs on you like a heavy stone.
You cried as he gently made love to you, kissing the tears from your face as he impaled you on his cock. His silent apology touched your lips, smearing the blood from your split lip. Even when your tears dried, leaving behind a salty crust, Leon still continued to fuck you, covering your face with endless kisses and forcing you to close your eyes from a single phrase said in your ear.
"Pretty girl. You will always be mine. I'm so sorry, but I won't let anyone else touch you anymore. You are mine, okay?"
He took care of the aftercare, but it wasn't the Leon you knew. But it became scary when, standing in the shower, you told him that you were leaving, because of which he pressed you with all his might to the shower cabin, grabbing your face with his hands, turning it to him.
"You won't go anywhere! You are mine and no one else's. Don't make me do things I might regret."
Since then, he has taken complete control over you, covering it up with care. Leon did not take your phone, but you were sure that he connected something to it in order to view your messages. Friends constantly called you to parties, but Leon forbade you - his one eloquent look spoke a lot if you disobeyed him.
Part of you hated him, and for some reason, another part of you always looked for warmth and care from him.
"I just want to take care of you," he said as he nestled between your legs. "Don't say such words to me. My little princess, someday you will understand that I'm only protecting you. The outside world is very dangerous and cruel, but I'm glad that I kept my innocence. Without me, you will die"
"Why do you say that?" you asked, but instead of words, he grabbed you in an armful literally to the crunch of the ribs and for some time silently lay burying his nose in your neck. His hands dropped to your hips as he parted your legs, slowly covering your jawline with kisses.
"Because I love you" he slightly raised himself on his hands, burying his nose against your cheek, leaving another weightless kiss on it. “And you love me, and the sooner you realize that, the better it will be for us.”
You doubted when you looked at him. You doubted when returned his kiss and arched under his caresses, however, under them, doubts usually began to dissipate in your head. Like a hard drug, Leon caused intoxication, and if you now say these cherished words, then your golden cage will be closed forever and you will be the one who throws away the key to it.
"I'm sorry," Leon whispered, caressing you. “I shouldn't have done this, and I know you're still mad at me. I swear it won't happen again... but I can't watch anyone other than me touch you."
He really didn't mean to hurt you. Let him still have an unhealthy mania for you. A sick desire to own you and be loved by you, and yet Leon would kill any person if he were now preferred to another. But in those moments, you felt comfortable with him. You calmly fell asleep in his arms and your body still sensitively reacted to his touch. You also had a strange addiction to this man that you are trying to overcome and you also want him to never let you go.
"You have everything you want. I only ask you for love and devotion to me"
Isn't it true?
You fell into the soft pillows, feeling Leon throw your legs over his back, hovering over you. He runs his hands over your shoulders, belly, stroking them making you feel his tension building at the sight of your naked body.
And for some reason it seems to you that you won’t be able to get out ... Perhaps it’s better not to resist and accept his love as it is, than to wake up an animal in him that will take away the last remnants of freedom from you. Leon has a goal to make you dependent on him and he is ready to resort to any means to achieve it.
"You belong to me, and I belong entirely to you. We won't ruin it, just because there's a lot more you don't understand. Be a good girl to me, okay?"
And surrendering to his arms, you understand that you really do not have a big choice.
#leon kennedy#leon scott kennedy#leon s kennedy#leon x reader#resident evil#leon kennedy x reader#leon kennedy x you#leon s kennedy x reader#resident evil x reader#reader#resident evil vendetta#leon kennedy resident evil#yandere resident evil#yandere leon kennedy#leon scott kennedy x reader#re
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heyyy, could I please request a Rhys X reader where the reader is feeling quite isolated, all her friends seem to have moved on in life without her and she's just realised how alone she feels. in her head the inner circle still feel like Rhys's friends, and she doesn't have a circle of her own and is just feeling down? and Rhys comforts her? don't mind me I'm goin' thru it lol sorry, thank you and much love to you
Isolated
Rhys x reader
A/n: I feel you anon. I go through this sometimes bc all my friends live far from me and I don’t have any in my hometown so it’s very isolating.
Warnings: hurt/comfort, slight depression
The weather seemed to match your mood today. Glum and rainy. You were sat on a couch in the town house with your knees pulled to your chest as you watched the rain roll down the window.
One of your best friends had moved over two months ago with her husband to the Winter Court to be closer to his family when their baby is born. You were happy for her, but she was the last of your friend group left in Velaris.
You were feeling lonely without them. It felt like they were all taking the next step in life with their careers or starting their family. Not that you didn’t love your life with Rhys. You’re the center of his universe and you can’t even describe how much you love him.
You just felt like you had nothing left to offer your court. But you didn’t want to move, your whole life is here. And you were working here and there with Rhys with court problems. There wasn’t much you could do until you were married and an official Lady.
And you definitely didn’t want a child. You weren’t there yet with Rhys or in the right headspace to be a mother. It would be unfair for everyone involved.
So you just sat around and read all day. Or walked around the city. Just shopping and seeing what was new. The cycle was getting old. If you went shopping in the Rainbow one more time you were going to throw yourself off the House of Wind.
Mor had tried to invite you out with her and offered to just hang out at home, but you declined almost every time. It felt like she was just offering out of pity. You didn’t want a pity hangout.
You love Mor, sometimes it feels like she, Amren, Cassian, and Azriel weren’t really your friends. You liked them and all but they came as a package deal with Rhys. Lately you felt like you weren’t part of that.
You broke yourself from your reeling thoughts as thunder sounded in the distance, lightning following moments after. You unwrap yourself to take a sip of tea sitting on the side table. Sipping on the liquid you grimace at the cold taste.
Letting out a sigh you set the mug back down. Unmotivated to get a new serving. You wrap your arms tighter around your knees going back to watching the storm.
Rhys padded down the stairs stopping when he noticed you curled into the corner of the couch. He gently approached you, laying a hand on your head, smoothing down your hair. “Hi darling.” His voice soft, “Are you alright?” Rhys knew you weren’t. He didn’t want to push or invade your mind without your permission. Rhys was getting close to doing that though. You were worrying him and you wouldn’t tell him what was weighing you down.
You sat there leaning into his touch for a while. You felt tears prick your eyes as you tried holding them back. You kept swelling back the lump growing in your throat as you tried to get a simple ‘I’m ok’ out.
The tears slip out of the corners of your eyes as you keep watching the storm rage. Rhys smells the salt of your tears. He panics and sits next to you, moving his hand from your head to cradle your cheek.
“Hey,” he coos, “y/n, what’s wrong darling? Please tell me. I’ve been so worried about you.” Your eyes slide over his worried face. Letting out a shaky breath you blink the tears out of your eyes. “I’m just sad Rhys. I know I have you, but I feel so alone.”
Rhys’s face dropped into a deep frown. He knew you missed your friends. Though he was unaware how much it affected you until now. “I want life to keep going, and I want to keep doing things. I’m just not in a good place.”
Rhys wiped your tears away and held his arms open for you. Leaning forward you embrace the love of your life, letting your tears fall. “I’m so sorry. I’m here to support you through whatever you want to do y/n. I want what will make you happy.” “Thank you, Rhys.” You sniffled out.
The two of you sat like that for the rest of the day. Rhys helped you come up with new things you could. Encouraging you to step out of your comfort zone and even take Mor up on a night out. He even made you laugh.
You felt like a weight had been lifted of your shoulders after talking to Rhys. You had hope that things would change soon.
#acotar#acotar fanfiction#acotar reader fic#acotar reader imagine#acotar imagine#rhysand#rhysand imagine#rhysand angst#rhysand acotar#rhysand x reader imagine#rhysand x reader#rhysand x you#rhysand x y/n#rhys#rhys x reader#rhys x you
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Thinking about Being earlier metallica James' gf, u know, back in that time where Jaymz and Lars lived together....that time were Lars would hear James railing his girl like there was no tomorrow? Yeah, so....
Imagine Being said gf and not being aware of an on going game between her boyfriend and his drummer friend, the game you ask? Seeing How many orgasms they Can Ruin
The rules are:
- Lars must pretend to be sleeping as best as he's able to;
- James Will fuck her increasingly harder, trying to rip out of her more and more noises;
- Since she's shy, Lars must pretend to stir in his sleep every time she let's a noise slip, and James Will increase his performance on her;
- Once she gets close to hitting her orgasm, Lars must pretend to wake up and cock block them (James must hold back from laughing or else he would give It away)
- And they Keep This cycle until they feel like she had been good enough for them
OR
There are no games and James is Just a shameless Motherfucker that gets his ego stroked every time someone catch him folding his girl and furiously pistoning his hips against her, knowing Full well that even If the guys are his friends and respect him very much, they still drool and lust over his girl
SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP
they’d have so much fun with you, the both of them loving how red you turn when you’re so fucking close, but then that cock-block of a drummer makes his appearance so you and james both have to stop.
one time, james was fucking you like his life depended on it. your body shoved into the bed as he’s mercilessly fucking into you. you were already worried about the squeaking of the mattress waking up lars, but then james reaches between the both of you and starts rubbing your clit to get you closer. he would grin like the devil, watching you squirm and try to keep quiet. even when you’d bring your fist to your mouth to muffle your noises, it would do shit and you’d just be so fucking loud. lars stirs to face the both of you, his eyes still ‘shut,’ james tries his hardest not to laugh at you while you’re literally trying to hold back tears. you poor thing, they’ve been edging you for a whole week every single day and you had no idea.
a loud “fuck james!” rips out of you as you grasp one of his shoulders, letting him know that you were so close as you grind your hips to meet his halfway. your moaning was getting louder and louder and you couldn’t keep quiet for the life of you. just as you were about to reach your climax, lars wakes up, causing james to pull away, your back falling against the pillow, chest heaving up and down.
“for fuck’s sake, again?!” you’d groan, digging the heels of your palms into your eyes from both frustration and embarrassment. but then you feel james fingers slip through your sopping folds, causing you to gasp. “what about lars!” you’d whisper-yell to james and he lets out a chuckle
“what about him?” he’d keep fingering you, wanting to bring you to your climax since you haven’t cum in such a long time, he was starting to feel bad. you were so overstimulated, you bit down on james’ shoulder to keep quiet, but lars tutted you.
“oh, come on. you’ve been loud all week, you’re gonna stay quiet now?” lars taunts, causing your face to turn redder than it already is.
you turn to look at james, not knowing what to do, but he nods his head with a supportive smile on his face “it’s okay, baby, go ahead.” his fingers curl and move inside you at a prompt speed. you try to keep your moans at a low volume, too embarrassed and not used to having an audience, although the thought of someone watching you being fingered aroused you.
james’ fingers kept pumping in and out of you as his thumb reached around to rub your clit, increasing his abuse on your already overstimulated cunt. when lars’ hand went down to palm himself and he let out a little groan, you started crying, ready to finally let go.
“i’m cumming, oh, god i’m gonna cum, fuck!” you would heave out since there was no oxygen in your lungs whatsoever. you thrash and wail under james and lars’ gaze, whimpering as you feel your hot cum leak out of you. you pant as james kisses you through your orgasm, murmuring sweet words “fuck, you did so good for us.” lars would praise
NEED THIS RN😭 this reminds me of this one tiktok i saw that said when james and lars used to live together in a teeny tiny apartment, lars would sit in a corner until james was done with whoever he was with that night, but sometimes lars would join in, i was shocked.
#THEYRE SO??#sobbing#metallica#metallica smut#james hetfield#james hetfield fanfic#lars ulrich#lars ulrich smut#james hetfield smut#lars ulrich fanfic#james hetfield x reader#lars ulrich x reader
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How Would I? - Nico Hischier
A/N: I am going to be honest and say I am actually nervous to post this. I went back and forth on if I needed to soften this up. Ultimately, I feel it is much better as is. But this is definitely dark, so please read at your own discretion!
Word Count: 2.6k
Warnings: Robbery, assault, broken bones, pregnancy talk, violence.
“Hi.” I whisper to my husband via FaceTime. My feet gently rock Lucie and I on the rocking chair in her room. Nico smiles excitedly when he sees my face. He is leaning against the brick wall of the Prudential Center. The team is having a Dine with the Devils charity event at the arena.
“Hi.” Nico murmurs back. “She asleep?”
“Yeah.” I flip the camera so he can see Lucie’s angelic face. She had a big day playing with Lio at an indoor play house, then having pizza for dinner.
“Good. Her and Lio have fun?”
“So much.” I smile, turning the camera back onto me.
“Cause trouble too?”
“Of course.” I roll my eyes. “They conspired by hiding in the upper slides. Only came out when Emma started yelling at them in Swiss German.” Nico chuckles. “The other parents gave her quite the look.” Emma holding her pregnant belly with each heavy inhale added another layer to the picture.
“I’m sure.” He sighs, glancing up and giving a polite nod as a group of fans walks by to the locker room for their tour. “I should be home in an hour or so. Things are wrapping up.”
“Sounds good.” I adjust the screen in my hand. “Can’t wait.”
“Me too, babe. See you soon. I love you.”
“Love you too.” We pucker our lips for smooches, then click off. “Okay, Luc.” I whisper, then stand. My almost five month bump protrudes out as I maneuver Lucie into her bed. She startles a bit, gripping onto her penguin pillow pet. I back away quietly, then shut the door completely behind me.
I hold my belly as I walk back down the stairs. I feel so huge this pregnancy. With Lucie, it seemed like I stayed small until the very end when she began gaining a pound a week. But with this daughter, I’ve been popping since last month. I scratch at the itchy skin around my belly button then head into the kitchen. I finish loading the dishwasher, reaching around for the detergent in the bottom cabinet. I hear the front door open and foot steps on the rug in the entry way. I stand up, closing the dishwasher and pushing the on button.
“Wow, that had to have been record speed.” I say making sure the light turns on for the wash cycle. There is no response. I move to turn around but a hand clasps over my mouth. This is not Nico. Fear jolts through my body and I try to pull away.
“Stop. If you do what I say, you and your daughter won’t be harmed.” It’s a man. A voice I don’t recognize. My heart lurches into my throat. I stiffen. “I am going to release you now. The last thing you want to do is scream. We wouldn’t want your little daughter upstairs to wake up, Mrs. Hischier.”
I can sense he has been watching us. He knows Lucie is asleep. He knows where her room is. He knows who I am. Who Nico is. It’s all panic inducing. The baby kicks against my abdomen as he releases me.
“Go to the table.” He presses something cold to the back of my neck. I have never felt a gun against my skin before, but it sure feels like one. I purse my lips together and slowly move to the dining area. I glance around, looking for a weapon, cursing earlier me that cleaned up the kitchen. The knives are across the kitchen. The vase is too far away to grab. And the very real possibility of a gun being on my neck stops any other thoughts of fighting.
“What do you want?” I ask, surprise at how still my voice is.
“No questions.” He presses the cool metal even deeper into my skin. The more he talks, the younger he sounds. He rips out one of the dinning room chairs and harshly shoves me down onto it. My stomach bottoms out. The baby kicks harder and I push a hand over her. “You’re lucky you’re pregnant. Otherwise you’d be dead.” My mouth crumbles as he touches my hair. I pull harshly away. “I’m going to tie you up. You’re going to be quiet. I’ll grab what I want and leave. You scream, I take your daughter with me.”
“Please. Let me go to her room. We’ll stay there together. You can take whatever you want. Please. Just… don’t hurt her.” I am sobbing now, thinking of this man upstairs alone with my daughter sleeping. I feel helpless, incapable of protecting her from the greatest danger.
“Your daughter’s safety depends on your cooperation and yours only. Keep your mouth shut and Nico won’t see your dead bodies when he gets home.”
The way he talks about Nico drips with disdain. A gloved hand comes around, grabbing my wrist and forcing it behind my back. I try to fight against him for the other one, but he yanks down on my shoulder which causes a sharp pain through my shoulder blade. No other words are shared as he duct tapes my feet together. Tape gets slapped over my mouth too. Tears immediately trace over the grey strip.
His retreating footsteps can be heard going up the stairs. I’m stuck. I can’t move the chair. If I tip over, I’ll fall onto the baby. I dig my finger nails into my palm, more tear tracks falling down my cheeks. I listen intently for Lucie. She will scream if he goes in there. I know she will. But no sounds come from upstairs. Nothing except the muted foot steps that I’ll never forget the sound of.
His boots hit the hardwood again. My whole body tenses as I feel him approach from behind. I grit my teeth, trying not to show any fear outwardly. Wanting to swing at him with everything in me and rip his fucking eyes out for invading our home.
“One last thing.” He sneers into my ear, reaching for the wedding bands on my left ring finger. I make a fist, trying to keep them on. “Release or I’ll cut your finger off.” He forces my fingers apart, tugging the rings harshly off. As he is pulling back, I’m able to get my finger nails on him. I press hard then drag, drawing blood. “Bitch!” He grabs the back of my head and throws me to the ground. I land hard on my side. I cringe, feeling the pain shoot through my collarbone. He steps towards me. I turn, looking him dead in his masked face. He stands over me. “All you rich bitches are the same. Ungrateful sluts.” He leans down, grabbing my face, pressing his fingers in. “Should untie you and teach you a lesson.”
“Dude! Lights are coming down the street! Let’s go!” Someone else yells into the house.
“Guess I’ll have to come back instead. Maybe on your husband’s next road trip.” He releases my face, stepping over me towards the front door. The voices disappear and the house is quiet again after a click of the front door. His final words hang violently in the air.
I close my eyes, heavy tears running down from my eyes. I pant heavily, struggling to stretch my feet to loosen the tape. I don’t want Nico to find me like this. Every movement makes my chest and shoulder shoot with pain. It isn’t long before the pain is unbearable. I fight back the nausea from it. With the duct tape still on my mouth, I’ll choke If I puke.
“Nico.” I sob against the stickiness over my mouth. Panic is bubbling up, tightening my throat. I stop fighting, eventually growing still, trying to minimize the damage to myself and the baby by becoming calm.
I focus on my breathing. I go to the happiest memories I can think of with Nico. I imagine I’m in bed with him in the morning. He is holding me close, placing soft kisses along my face, waking me up from a light sleep. I hear soft baby giggles coming from Lucie as he whispers for her to give me kisses too. It works. The sound of the garage door opening breaks through my safe place. Then the door opens. Nico tosses his keys on the counter. He walks beyond it, shrugging his jacket off.
His gasp rocks my body when he sees me.
“Oh my god, Lex!” He exclaims, his Nike’s slapping the wood floor as he rushes to me. His hands grab my tired hands. I yelp. He stops, then grabs the tape. “Sorry, sorry, sorry! Oh my god, baby what happened?!” His brown eyes are wild, mouth dropped open in shock, breathing rapid. “Are you okay?” He reaches down for the baby, then goes back to my hands.
“Don’t pull my hands. I think my collar bone is broken. He gently works my hands apart. Then goes into the kitchen to grab some scissors. When he has me untied, he works me onto my back.
“Go grab Lucie.” I say.
“Baby, what happened!”
“Go. Grab. Lucie!” I scream back at him. “Make sure she is okay.” Nico backs up, then runs up the stairs, two at a time, barreling into her room.
“It’s daddy, baby. It’s okay. Just daddy. Let’s go help mommy.” He comes back into view, holding her close to him. His eyes meet mine and his face distorts in pain. He brings Lucie to the couch, then comes back to me.
“Call the police. Someone broke in, tied me up, and took who knows what. All I know for sure is they took my wedding rings.” I hold my hand up, Nico looks at the vacant space. A darkness I’ve never seen before crosses over his features. “Can you help me sit up?” I give him my good arm, then sit up with his help. I run my hand over the baby, anxious to feel her move. Nico watches as he pulls his phone out.
“Hi, I need to report a break in… and um, they hurt my wife.” He is stuttering, barely able to form English words.
The police come. EMTs too. They want me to go to the hospital for x-rays and and an ultrasound for the baby. Nico scours through the video systems we have, including the baby monitor. No one entered Lucie’s room after I did, which is a relief. It also makes it difficult to give a description of the suspect because they cut the wires leading to our security system. The police believe with the quickness of the break in and the retelling of my story that they had been casing the house. They waited for me to put Lucie to sleep. For Nico to be gone. For me to be at my most vulnerable.
Nico’s fingers gripped mine so tight when the police officer said that, I had to make him let go.
The x-ray confirm my collarbone is broken. They put me in a sling and schedule me for a follow up appointment next week. I can’t take pain killers; they tell me to monitor my Advil intake because of the baby.
It is hours before we return home. Nico’s car pulls up to the house, but it looks different. Dangerous and dark in the early morning hours.
“We are moving.” Nico says as he walks behind me in the garage with Lucie in his arms. “You are not staying here without me. Every time I am gone, you are leaving too.”
“Nico.” I sigh.
“No Lex. He told you he would be back. I’m not willing to take that chance. Do not argue with me on this.” He shuts the door behind him. “I already sent a text to Steve in hockey ops. He’s grabbing us a place in Hoboken while we search for a new house. We will move into Timo and Emma’s gated community.”
“But this is our home.” I start to cry. He brings Lucie to the couch, then engulfs me into his chest, careful of my sling. He presses kisses along my head, then tilts my face so he can kiss my lips. “This is where we said we would bring all our babies home from the hospital. Where they would take their first steps. And grow up. And be in a safe place. They took that from us tonight!”
“I know, baby. I’m so sorry.”
Holding me isn’t going to make any of this better, but he tries as hard as he can.
- - -
Nico watches Lexi and Lucie sleep next to him later that night. Lexi is propped up on pillows, the elbow of her broken collar bone supported by them too. To Nico, she looks fragile, with a sling and a growing belly. He reaches out for her bump, then skims that same hand along Lucie’s head where she sleeps cuddled into her baby sister.
He’s tried to fall asleep numerous times already, but he can’t.
He is fiercely angry.
Angry that someone robbed his house. Irate that some piece of shit hurt his wife. Poisoned by the visual of his pregnant wife tied up and in pain. Terror still fills his veins on what he imagined he would see of their daughter as he ran up the stairs.
All these images and emotions run through his mind. He can’t let it go. The police officers had been gentle yet realistic that they may never find the people who did this.
Fine, then Nico would. If they can’t do their job, he’ll hire someone better. The best money can buy. He’d bring investigators from Switzerland. He didn’t care. He was going to fucking find them.
None of the cameras in the neighborhood caught them. Yet, they were able to pull DNA from under Lexi’s nails of whoever tied her up. That was enough for him. Nico wants five minutes in a room with him to do permanent damage. He understands now how people can be capable of murder.
Him and Lex should have never picked this house. They had other options that provided a security presence, but they thought they were safe. Well, now he knew better. He should have been a better father and husband by forcing the gated community house.
Lexi stirs again her pillows, letting out a soft groan. Nico reaches out for her face, brushing her cheek lightly with his thumb.
“I need something.” She gulps down a tentative sip of water. “Can I take Advil yet?” Nico looks at the time on his watch sitting on the bedside table.
“Yeah, sweets. I’ll be right back.” He gently leaves the bed, careful not to rustle Lexi or Lucie. Their daughter immediately stretches her little feet out to take over his side of the bed. Normally he hates her feet against his back because she kicks him throughout the night. Tonight, it’s everything to him.
Nico comes back to Lexi with two Advil. She sits up to take it with Nico’s help. He rubs her back, anger intensifying at every flicker of pain on her body.
“Baby, I am going to find who did this.” He whispers to his wife. “They’re going to pay for this.”
“Neeks…” Lexi murmurs back, reaching for his face with her good hand. She strokes his skin, eyes wary with worry. Nico looks back at her, gaze hard, until he loses it completely. He drops his gaze to her belly when he feels the tears.
“I almost lost my whole world tonight.” Lexi sniffs because she is crying too. “How would I live without you, baby?” Lexi shakes her head, not sure what to say to her husband.
Gradually, with Lexi’s guidance, Nico lays his head into her lap. His nose presses into their growing baby while Lucie’s hand twitches against his hair. Lexi and Nico join hands on her bump.
The room is silent. The heavy thoughts of their night hanging over them.
Lexi finally gets Nico to sleep by gently stroking his hand, continuously murmuring to him that she’s still here.
#What my world spins around au#Lexi X Nico Hischier#Nico Hischer Fan Fiction#hockey writing#NHL Fan Fiction#hockey fan fiction
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Hi, your articles about Simon ghost are interesting. Can I also make a request, please? How does he react to a reader with a big dog? The dog is very protective and affectionate towards the reader. and the dog's eyes are different colors. I will send you a photo of the dog.
HELLO!! First of all, thank you for reading my Ghost fics, that means so much <3 Secondly, i love this request because one, i love dogs, and TWOOO i love big big dogs. I hope you enjoy what i threw together, and take care <3
--
That Makes Two of Us
Pairing: Simon "Ghost" Riley x reader (can read as fem, gn, or male really)
wc: 900+
warnings: none
A/N: I apologize for any grammar/spelling mistakes lol pls forgive me
--
You can’t remember a time when you didn’t have a dog. Growing up, you were always surrounded by dogs, and had one by the time you were age five. Later, in your early teenage years, your family got another one. Needless to say, it wasn’t a surprise when you bought a dog of your own, after you graduated and got a full-time job.
When you saw your new puppy for the first time, she was already perfect in your eyes. She had mismatched eyes- one blue and one brown. Her fur was as dark as a raven’s feather, and shiny too. You decided to name her Daphne, after a character from one of your favorite TV shows.
You could already tell she was going to be a big dog, just by the size of her paws when she was a puppy. And your assumption was right, because she turned out to be about 65 pounds, paws almost as big as your palm.
You guys became two peas in a pod, and you trained her well. She was smart, loyal and very affectionate with you. It’s all you ever could have wanted in a dog, a companion.
--
While Daphne was lovey and affectionate towards you, her loyalty showed when she met strangers. She was mostly weary with men she didn’t know. Sure, your dad and close guy friends were no issue for her, she trusted them and therefore she trusted them around you.
However, newer men she didn’t recognize the scent of, or strangers on the sidewalk (strange men), she immediately became alert, ready to do anything for you, anything to protect you. This personality trait of hers was always difficult when in came to dating. Because more often than not, your fling with a guy didn’t last long. It was a cycle of introducing Daphne to a new man, which took her some time to getting used to, to that man completely disappearing from your life, all for it to start again.
It wasn’t until you met Simon aka “Ghost” for things to level out, be “steady” so to say. You and Simon have been dating for about three and a half months at this point. You both went on countless dinner dates, occasionally got drinks, and enjoyed the city where you both lived. All which required him not to see Daphne, or meet her, nonetheless. Sure, you showed him pictures of your baby, and babbled on about her when you guys hung out, but he hasn’t had the pleasure of meeting her.
You decided that after the fourth failed fling/thing with a guy, you would wait until you were seeing a guy for about 4-5 months until you introduced them to your dog. Not wanting to continue to confuse her, by having her meet strangers, and people that wouldn’t be in your life for a long time.
With Simon though, you guys instantly hit it off. He was a little bit quirky, with a dry sense of humor that matched your sarcasm. He was fun to be around and brought out a side of you, you haven’t seen in quite a long time. You were happy, and you trusted him. You only wished that Daphne would trust him as much, because deep-deep down in the pits of your heart, you were starting to fall in love with Simon.
It was after you guys went to dinner one night, that you brought Simon over to your place for the first time. You were a little bit nervous. One, because you were bringing home a devastatingly handsome and tall man, and two, because you weren’t sure how Daphne would react.
You quietly unlocked your door and ushered Simon inside. After you turned on the lights, you could hear Daphne’s paws patter on your floor, signaling to you that she woke up, and was coming to greet you. Though, when she saw Simon standing next to you, she instantly stopped in her tracks, and quirked her head to the side, her ears perked. Not expecting a guest to be with you.
She immediately started barking, her low, powerful bark resonating off the walls of your home.
“I take it she doesn’t like strangers?” Simon remains next to you, but doesn’t show any signs that he’s afraid of your giant black dog barking four feet away from him.
“Well…she’s a little protective of me.” You turn to look at Simon, with a sheepish smile on your pretty face.
“That makes two of us, then.” You try not to let Simon’s deep voice and confession get to you too much, but it’s hard and you find your cheeks warming.
You just laugh at his statement, and make your ways towards Daphne, to try and console her. Once you’ve got her calmed down, you usher Simon over.
“Ok, just approach her on the side, but don’t turn towards her, keep your body perpendicular to hers. And stick your hand out for her to sniff. This will let her know that you’re no threat.”
He does just that, and effortlessly, which you’re not surprised about. You’re certain he’s often around military trained dogs due to his job.
Daphne reluctantly sniffs Simon’s hand, but you can tell he won her over because she starts to lick him, and then lets him pet her on the head. Her tail starts to wag vigorously, and now her barks are lighter, more playful as she greets your new friend.
With a smirk coating his lips, Simon asks her, “See, I’m not too bad, am I?”
--
Hope you enjoyed!
masterlist
#Simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x reader#ghost x reader#mw2 ghost x reader#cod ghost x reader#simon ghost riley x you#simon riley x you#ghost x you#mw2 ghost x you#simon ghost riley x y/n#simon riley x y/n#mw2 ghost x y/n#ghost x y/n#ghost imagine#simon ghost riley imagine#simon ghost riley request#simon riley request#simon riley fanfic#simon ghost riley fanfic#ghost fanfic#mw2 ghost fanfic#mw2 ghost request#cod ghost request#cod ghost fanfic#ghost fic#ghost fluff#simon riley fluff#simon ghost riley fluff
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MIKE WITH A PISS KINK PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
tbh I've never really wrote for piss kink before the other post. but I'm exploring and dipping my toes very slowly into stuff (am I being slow? idk? anyway. who fucking cares.)
Mike is a nasty little freak and nobody can convince me otherwise. he likes having some power over at least certain aspects of his life, he likes being in control of things he chooses to control. not like paying the bills and going to work. cuz he has to? to live?
but he can have control over his gf. her body. her bladder. Just because he can.
so when he first was plagued with the image of his gf just pissing on him, his brain chemistry changed and he kind of wanted to make it a reality, trying without freaking his gf out and also without really telling her.
maybe it was him convincing her to let him fuck her when he knew she drank a bit too much water today and felt like going on the middle of him fucking her. maybe he'll let her go, maybe not, maybe he'll ask her to hold it in until he's done, she can wait, right? She can do it, she's a big girl <3
and maybe he'll hold onto her waist, dig his fingers super close to her belly button, press down a bit where her bladder should be in guise of him just holding her up, but really, he just loves her little squeals of panic and flinches, and not once does she tells him to stop, just whines and whines and moans while getting rocked on his cock.
And as soon as he's done and at this point, his baby is shaking and overwhelmed, he'll help her to the toilet, and help her sit and relieve herself while she's still. panting. and he's there, standing over her with a hand on her shoulder, so she wouldn't somehow slip and fall?
he's just a good bf after all, he has to make sure his gf is safe and taken care of <3
and then obviously Mike will take care of her, hop in the shower, wash her body for her and all, dress her up in some comfy clothes and lounge in their bed together <3
perhaps this keeps happening for a long time, his gf needs to go, but he needs her more than she needs to go, and how can she say no to those eyes??? and the cycle repeats until she realises that maybe he really, really, want her to let go.
So it happens then, for the first time, while in the shower, because its the perfect place to make a mess, and it starts off pretty innocent, just showering in silence, together, then washing each other's hair, giggling and slowly getting touchy until her back is to the wall and he's moaning in her neck with the sound of his hips snapping against hers echo in the shower.
And she doesn't tell him she needs to go, she just holds him tighter, wraps her arms around his neck and presses herself closer, he moans, and then he feels something, he's confused at first, terrified that he somehow hurt her because why the fuck is something hot dripping down her thighs, and when the smell hits his nose he absolutely loses it.
"Hah- Had to go, hm? Couldn't hold it in? Hm, baby? Fucked you so good you just-- Pissed yourself? Fuuuuuuuuuccckkk... Yeah. Yeah, you're mine. And I'm yours, yeah?"
his eyes almost roll to the back of his headand his rythm stutters and he snaps them harder, tries to get himself deeper, closer, all the while making the most debauched and pathetic noises he's ever made, he's so unbelievably horny he cums in no time.
and from that day on, everything changes.
#bubuslutty ask#bubuslutty writes#mike schimdt x reader#mike schimdt smut#mike scmidt fnaf#mike schmidt smut#mike schmidt#mike schmidt x reader#mike schmidt x you#mike schmidt x y/n#mike schmidt x fem!reader smut#mike schmidt x fem!reader
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since you guys asked so nicely-
here's this?? idrk sorry
general leo x feral momma reader !! (romantic yan, sorry also warning for pregnancy, mc is mentioned to have carried then birthed a child)
some headcanons and then a little somethings in between:
•your village is a small, relatively tight knit one.
•you're main job is to help tend to the elderly woman who serves as the village's oracle of sorts.
•your family has traditional values, you're not very close but love them bc ofc you do! they're family.
•ofc, bc your family loved you sooo much, they married you off without your permission.
•they loved you tho!
•so off you went, barely an adult, to live with the boy you wed. he was kind enough, you remember playing in the river with him and some others as children.
•but you cannot bring yourself to love him.
•your parents visit one day while your husband is out, and they chide you for not having children.
•just look at your sister! she's happily married with four and a half!
•after some pressure, you give in and confront your husband about having a child. he's on board, ofc.
•so skip forward a bit and now you have a few month old slung on your back comfortably (for her, atleast)
•you're tending to a horribly sick oracle, when she snatches up your hand suddenly and rasps a prophecy in your ear.
•"blood will be shed, a man will ride in, railed by beasts. you will stop them. you have to stop them."
•with that, she closes her glassy eyes and drifts back to sleep.
•a fear settles in your bones, but you shake it off for now.
•three moon cycles pass in peace. then chaos.
•the morning had started off oddly. your daughter, a small girl despite her six months, did not cry as a wake up call for you.
•you swaddled her, then set her in a sling as normal and headed to the oracle's home.
•the old woman hobbled up to you, sickly as she was. she spoke of danger, then thunder shook the ground beneath you.
•a legion of men on horseback came crashing through the forest, then men on foot.
•your eyes widened and the ache in your bones returned, the oracle has whispered something about a tree and safety and you bolted.
•you cradled the babe in your arms, running as fast as your body could take you. you found a sturdy, tall climbing tree and started up the branches.
•you watched the men draw closer and then your village's men approached.
•then the blood shed began.
•you watched your father and brothers be cut down. your husband's head rolled from where it was cut from his shoulders.
•not once did your daughter stir.
•the battle waged on, you watched women you'd known be scooped up or tied and thrown around like cattle.
•you had to squeezed your eyes shut, then your baby began to stir.
•not screams, rather coos and giggles at a man who barked orders out just below your tree of safety.
•you watched the man's head turn up at the sound, and realized that was a beast, not a man.
•the beast grinned up at you, then dismounted his horse and started for the tree's trunk.
•your throat went dry and you curled around your baby even more.
•that thing was a gorgeous beast, who began to ascend the branches faster than you've ever seen. his eyes were marked red with what you assumed to be blood.
•his eyes were intelligent and piercing as the swirled with mirth at the sight of you.
•he grew closer still, there was nothing you could do. not with the baby in your arms.
•he cooed something in a language you didn't understand, then frowned when you shifted away from him.
•he began climbing again, then reached up with his impossibly large hands, hands of a titan.
•he tapped your cheeks then made an odd noise in his throat.
•you reacted quickly out of fear.
•you watched the man, recoil from your kick quickly. then he looked back up.
•his face was flush, blood dripped from his nose and pooled at his lips, where he licked it off. there was a noticeable mark where your foot had connected with his face.
•he lurched quickly, dragging you and the child into his arms.
•and then the goddamned beast leaped from the tree with not so much a growl and landed perfectly on the ground.
•he placed you on an impossibly large black stallion, and it occured to you that this was his horse.
•before you could react, he set your baby gently back in your arms and swung up onto the horse from behind you.
•your bones ached and your heart dropped as he yelled more commands and then the army took before him, and he hurried after.
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Young American Finale ^**
AHHHH THE FINALE IS HERE. I had such a hard time finishing this because I think I wasn't ready for it to end, but thus it had to. I hope you guys love this part. A lot happens and of course, the happiest ending for our lovely couple and their little angel of a baby boy 👼🏻
Series Masterlist
Warnings: descriptions of abusive relationships (verbal/emotional). Descriptions of personality disorder (Borderline Personality Disorder specifically). Descriptions of pregnancy. Fingering and oral sex (fem receiving), use of sex toys, sex (p in v, unprotected), breeding kink, multiple/forced orgasms. Descriptions of labor and delivery process.
WC: 23K
A little recap....
Y/N finds out that Harry has been hanging out with and talking to his ex-girlfriend Chloe for a few weeks. He has been acting very sketchy about it. So at the Sunday roast they are hosting, she borrows his phone and decides to give Chloe a call. Harry gets suspicious and decides to follow her in and finds out she's contacted Chloe...
“Baby, can I use your phone?” Y/N asked as she came up to him and he suddenly felt concern come over him.
“Ummm why? For what?” He asked right away and immediately regretted it because it sounded suspicious. Or maybe he was just being super paranoid.
“I can’t seem to find mine and I was supposed to call G, he wanted to run through his anniversary dinner plans with his man.” She explained. “I just want to find it, I’m gonna call from mine, don’t worry.” She assured and he bit his lip and nodded.
“Ummm sure. Yeah, of course.” He replied and handed it over. She grabbed it and typed in his password but it was wrong and she glanced up to him in confusion, “Oh, sorry forgot to mention I changed it. Archie knew it and downloaded a shitload of games on it and-”
“It’s fine, Harry.” She smiled, “You don’t need to justify it to me. I trust you.” She said looking deep in his eyes, but there was something in them that made him distrust her words and he frowned a bit.
“Right.” He chuckled and he took it and typed in the password and handed it over.
“Thanks. I’m gonna go look for my phone.” She said and headed inside.
Harry felt so unsettled that Y/N had his phone. He knew Y/N had seen the text Chloe had sent him after the first time they hung out after the cycling class. But she didn’t seem upset or even bring it up again, he hadn’t meant to hide it, but if she didn’t read into it then he was just not going to bring it up. And he really did intend on just closing the door with Chloe, but she was going through a lot and well he had been looking for something to do with his time, so he figured being a friend to her wouldn’t be a bad thing. So they kept hanging out and doing stuff around town. It was completely platonic. He hadn’t given Y/N any reason not to trust him in the past, and well he just…didn’t want to relive the horrors of that relationship with Y/N. Once Chloe got through her rough patch he’d just tell her that they couldn’t be friends. That was genuinely his plan, but he had been so wrapped up in her that he hadn’t realized that just being around her was changing him, the effects were so quick that he was oblivious to them.
He had been lost in the chatter until he realized that Y/N hadn’t brought his phone back for a while. It made him feel on edge, so much so that he quite literally chugged the beer before him and stood up abruptly, startling Skye.
“Alright, mate?” He asked and Harry nodded.
“Yeah, just gonna grab another beer. Anyone else want one?” He asked and his uncle, Julie, and Skye all said yes.
“So you’re drinking again? What happened to solidarity?” Gemma asked and he frowned a bit. He had been drinking again…he didn’t know why that hadn’t really clicked until someone mentioned it to him.
“S’only been two.” He said.
“Try 3.” Gemma said and he looked at her incredulously until he glanced down at the spot before him and saw that he had in fact polished of his 3rd beer already.
“Those are not all mine. We’ve all been drinking.” He said and immediately Gemma and Alyssa exchanged a look of concern.
“No mate, those are yours.” Skye confirmed and everyone laughed a bit and Harry frowned, suddenly feeling really defensive that everyone was laughing at him, “Well, fine. No more for me then. Should I still bring you lot another?” He asked and they nodded. “Coming right up. M’also gonna check on Y/N, she’s been gone too long.” He said and headed inside.
Now he was feeling conflicted and attacked and anxious. He beelined for their current bedroom and the door was closed. And when he tried to open it he found it was locked. He exhaled, jaw taut as he swallowed down the lump in his throat as he tried to listen for any sounds and could hear her muffled speaking.
“Open the door, Y/N.” He said through the wood. It took a few moments before the door opened. It worried him that he couldn’t really decipher the look in her eyes, but all he needed to know was that it wasn’t good. “Who were you talking to?” He asked and she looked at him for a second.
“Does it matter?”
“It does. You said you were going to talk to G and if you weren’t then why did you lie about it?” He questioned her. Just then his phone started ringing and she glanced down to it. She turned the phone towards him and his expression went blank and he swore that all of the blood in his body rushed down to his feet making him feel dizzy and out of sorts.
“Do you want to answer her or should I?” Y/N asked and he didn’t say anything, “I should warn you that I think she’s still calling for me so she might get a bit rude with you.” She said calmly and when he just stood there she shook her head and sighed as she handed the phone over and started to get around him to exit the room.
“What did she say to you?” He asked and she sighed.
“It doesn’t matter, I didn’t believe half the things she accused you of, she’s clearly psychologically unwell-”
“That’s rude of you to say, she’s just going through a hard time.” He said with a frown and Y/N sighed.
“I think she’s fine. She’s just a liar, Harry.”
“Why would she lie about anything that she’s been through?!” He asked in frustration.
“Because she knows that’s how she’ll reel you back in.” Y/N said simply and Harry frowned.
“She doesn’t affect me like that any more. It’s not like she was going to trick me into leaving you or something! I’m not an idiot!” He snapped and she frowned.
“I didn’t say you were-”
“I was just lending an ear. It was nothing bad!” His voice was raised now in defense when she hadn’t even said one accusatory thing to him.
“If it’s nothing bad why did you go out of your way to hide this from me?” She asked and his forehead creased even deeper in frustration and he sighed and it looked like he would say something but after about a minute of standing there in silence he didn’t say anything more. “OK, well I’m just going to head back outside.” She said quietly and before she could make it out he grabbed her arm.
“I know you saw the first text she sent me. You were looking through my phone. Why were you even looking through my phone?!” He questioned her as he stood in front of the door now.
“I was trying to see if Eddie had good news! After the morning we’d had I just wanted to share some good news with you. And we always look at each other’s phones! It had never been a problem before so I just assumed it was fine to look at your phone.”
“So you saw it, meaning that you’ve known about Chloe since then and you never brought it up. Why didn’t you bring it up if it bugged you? Were you trying to collect evidence against me so you can hold it over my head or leave me?” He asked and she looked at him like he was absolutely mad.
“Where is this about me leaving you even coming from?” She asked him, “I didn’t say anything because up until I saw that message I believed that you had lost track of time and somehow walked all the way to SOHO! I was confused about how I felt and when I started to doubt you I decide to trust you instead and hoped that you would do the right thing. The mature thing and take ownership of your actions and tell me yourself! And when you didn’t bring it up the next day I wanted to show you the message and ask you for clarification but you had deleted it!” She said and his eyes softened a bit.
“There was nothing for me to bring up anymore and I thought that…maybe it was just a quick run in…worst case scenario, a spontaneous and regretful hook up!” She explained and Harry looked hurt that she even thought that, “But then you kept hiding things and lying and I knew you would keep lying about it. I’m really sorry if you feel like I invaded your privacy today, but you’ve been deliberately lying to me for weeks and I’ve been going fucking crazy between deciding if I wanted to know what was going on or not! But then I realized that I couldn’t bear to hear something bad from you, so I decided to hear it from her if something was going on.” She said with tearful eyes but she wasn’t going to let a singe tear fall, “And I don’t know why you decided to lie to me, Harry. But if she still means something to you and you wanted her back in your life I would’ve tried to understand. But after all the sneaking around and now that I’ve spoken to her and have heard the way she’s talked about you and the things she’s said about you. Your supposed friend by the way, I don’t want her near you, me, or our baby, ever.” She said firmly and Harry swallowed thickly. “Can I go now?” She asked and he let her go and moved to the side.
“Are you angry at me?” He asked softly and she sighed as she stopped at the door.
“Angry doesn’t even begin to cover it.” She responded
“You have every right to be, but I swear I was just listening to her problems, it was absolutely nothing other than that and-”
“I know. We’re not done talking about this though. We should deal with this when everyone goes.” She said.
“I love you so much and I’m really sorry for all of this.” He apologized.
“Thank you for apologizing.” She said quietly and he nodded.
“Not gonna forgive me though?” He asked as he took her hands and the fact that she let him was a good sign.
“Obviously I will, but I’m still angry at you and I…don’t want to forgive you without clearing things up.” She said sincerely and he chuckled a bit, “I’m being serious.” She pouted and he nodded.
“I know, my love.” He assured, “I’m not laughing at you, s’just a nervous thing.” He said and she shook her head.
“I think I just want to understand why you…went through all these lengths for her before I can move on from this.” She explained her reasoning and he frowned.
“Baby, I can clarify how this even happened but I ummm…I don’t want to talk about why this happened.” He said to her.
“OK, but you need to so that we can clear this up.” She said and he shook his head.
“I can’t. I won’t.” He said to her with certainty and out of every emotion under the sun, the one radiating the strongest off of him was fear. He was afraid to talk about this with her.
“I get that it might be painful and hard to explain it but…whether you’re ready to hear this or not, she was in your head, Harry. She’d gotten in your head and a few more weeks of this and who knows where you’d be!” She explained anxiously.
“How can you even say that?” He asked, fully offended. “I wouldn’t betray you ever! Or just leave you!” He scoffed.
“Maybe not the you that I’ve shared all of this with, but that’s what you were doing though…” she said and he tore his hands from hers, “You were pulling away and you’ve been really weird and cold and dry…like how you were before and…well you’ve been drinking a lot more than your normal, and-”
“STOP IT!” He shouted out of nowhere and she just shut her mouth and he exhaled shakily and licked over his lips as he calmed down for a second, “I understand that I owe you an apology, but you’re not getting an explanation.” He said voice soft but his tone was decisive, his eyes locked intensely on hers. “Do you understand?” He asked and she felt patronized at his question and she shook her head.
“I can’t accept that, Harry.” Y/N responded. “In order to rebuild the trust that’s been broken we need to talk-”
“Well trust me now when I tell you that discussing Chloe and I is not something that will help anything. I won’t talk to her again. It’s all in the past and it’s not going to make a difference now so get it out of your head. Please.” He implored.
“It’ll make a difference to me. Because I need to be sure that this is not going to happen again. And I can hope all I want, but if there is something, some part of you that is still…vulnerable to her-”
“We’re done having this conversation.” He interrupted and walked around her to leave the bedroom. She followed after him as best as she could, but he was walking fast. She frowned when she saw him getting out of his house shoes and opening the door to the entryway.
“Harry, where are you going?” She asked in a panic.
“Maybe to go fuck Chloe and file for divorce while I’m at it!” He snapped sarcastically and she felt her tears start to fall.
“You’re being really shitty, Harry.” She sniffled, but he was so overwhelmed and he felt like she was pushing him and pressuring him to talk about something that he never intended to open up about with anyone.
“Well that’s what you probably think I’m going to do anyway, isn’t it?” He asked her with a scowl on his face and she shook her head.
“No, Harry! But running off is not going to resolve this issue!”
“Well I don’t want to be here right now with all these people while you accuse me of shit I haven’t even done!”
“I’m not accusing you of anything!” She sighed in frustration as he opened the front door, “Harry, if you leave right now I don’t want you to come back until you’re ready to face this.” She admonished and as she looked into his eyes she searched for any indication that he would soften up but he looked away.
“That’s not going to happen, so you can call me when you decide to just let this one go.” He said lowly and he heard a sob break through her throat before she just stormed off. In his stubbornness he decided to just leave. He groaned and wasn’t discrete in his exit, he slammed the door hard enough that the windows rattled a bit.
*********
Alyssa was coming inside to go to the bathroom when she heard the door slam and she rushed over to the exit and then looked out the window to see Harry stomping over to his car and getting in roughly. So she headed down the hall to the guest room only to hear Y/N sobbing loudly on the other side of the closed door. She bit on her lip nervously and decided to head out and grab Gemma. More than anyone else, she and Gemma had picked up on the recent changes to Harry’s attitude. It was all reminiscent of his time with his ex, Chloe. They had been the ones who were constantly appealing for him to just let the relationship go, to move on, to come back home…but Chloe was so deep in his head, almost thinking for him! She could manipulate him in ways that were so sinister. And god, she really hoped that Harry hadn’t been stupid enough to have seen her or sleep with her, but whatever this was, it was bad.
“Gem, can you come here for a minute?”
“Where the hell is Harry with our beers?” Her dad asked and she groaned.
“I’ll get ‘em…” Alyssa said and headed off to the kitchen to grab the beers while Gemma made her way inside.
“Do you need help with something?”
“Harry stormed out and Y/N is sobbing in the bedroom.” She said and Gemma frowned. “Can you check on her. I’ll be right there.” She said and Gemma hurried off. Alyssa then made an excuse to get everyone to go home or go hang out at the pub, which is what they all agreed on. Gemma then came back out and shared a look with Aly that told her that whatever this was needed their immediate attention, so she asked Skye to leave the car and she’d just get him from the pub before they went home and he agreed and so they all headed off and that left Aly and Gemma and Y/N in the house.
“Did you talk to her?” Aly asked as she served Y/N a glass of water.
“No, she said to give her a minute to calm down before she wanted to talk about it.” Gemma said and Aly nodded before heading back to her bedroom.
*********
“Hey guys.” Y/N sniffled as she let them in. Alyssa offered the water glass and she took it and drank some down before setting it down on the bedside table and then just sitting on the bed.
“Where did my brother go?” Gemma asked.
“I really don’t know…” she sighed as she rubbed at her eyes, “And I don’t…I don’t know what to do.” She confessed and the two women before her nodded, encouraging her to tell them what was going on. “Ummm, so like about three weeks ago we had a little argument over Harry saying he was feeling trapped at home. He was like bored out of his mind and was like trying to get me to do more stuff with him and he basically just wanted to have some fun together before the baby came. But like, I’m just achey and tired all the time and won’t be able to keep up, you know how he is.” She explained and they both chuckled and nodded, “But he had gone off to the gym to just get the need to be active out of his system and like…he was gone for hours.” She explained, “Later that night he was expecting a text from Eddie, but then when I went to go see the message another came in at the same time and I accidentally opened that text and it was from his ex-girlfriend, Chloe and it was…sketchy.” She said and both Gemma and Alyssa sighed in disappointment.
“So he’s been…seeing her?” Gemma asked and Y/N nodded firmly once.
“For the past three weeks.” Y/N confirmed. “Like…I wanted to bring up that text to him because they way she wrote it, it was like insinuating that they had…ummm-”
“HE DID NOT.” Gemma stated with a frown.
“I don’t think he did, but she just wanted to make it seem that way.” Y/N explained.
“I wouldn’t put it past her. She’s a fucking lunatic! Like completely mad.” Alyssa said and Y/N sighed.
“Yeah, she’s not well…” she agreed, “Well, anyway he deleted the text message before I could ask him about it. He never saved the number so I assumed that if anything had happened it was a one time thing and I decided that I could make peace with that. But there were more texts through the weeks and then he just started deleting them I assume because they suddenly stopped, but he’d always be gone and like he’s just not been himself.” She explained.
“Yeah, I called him out on the drinking earlier and he got so defensive.” Gemma said and Y/N sighed.
“Right, well I misplaced my phone and I asked him for his to call myself and he got really weird about me having his phone. And when he finally gave it over he had changed the password, which is strange because we’ve never been secretive with that, you know? And he…he said Archie had downloaded too many games on it so he decided to change it.” Gemma scoffed when Y/N shared that and she shrugged. “I really was just going to look for my phone but then that happened and I got suspicious so I…I called her to ask her if anything was going on because I’d rather hear it from someone I don’t know than him, you know?”
“What did she say?” Aly asked.
“Well she first pretended that she had no idea he was married and then confirmed that they’d been sleeping together. But she was being a bit inconsistent so I know she’s lying about that, but he’s been spending a lot of time with her. Harry was at the door and overheard I think, but when he came in he told me he was just being nice and trying to listen to her problems. Which I genuinely believe he was trying to be nice, but the woman is obsessed with him and clearly has ulterior motives! And he like started to defend her or whatever and I was just trying to tell him that like…if nothing bad was going on then he didn’t have to hide it and lie about it, you know? It’s just the ease at which he was willing to lie for her that’s really bothering me.” She explained with concern.
“Well of course he lied about it. There’s an unspoken rule that we don’t talk about her. Ever. She’s the reason he was a fucking mess! But he literally worshipped the ground she shat on and nothing could ever make him see what it was that she was doing to him.” Aly explained and Gemma snorted on a laugh and Y/N giggled as well at Aly’s chosen expression. “He knew that if any of us found out that he was seeing her again that we would interfere and give him hell for it. That’s why he lied.” Alyssa said with certainty and Gemma nodded.
“OK, so obviously this is…a lot more of a sensitive situation than I thought. Like I knew his previous relationships weren’t great, he’d shared that much, but this is…more than just bad I think? I mean, he tried to apologize but I told him that we needed to talk about what exactly happened that made him feel like he needed to lie before I could properly forgive him and move on from it. Like I don’t want to forgive him and next time he’s struggling he falls into her lap again, you know? Like clearly she knows how to get to him and he’s still susceptible to her! And that’s when he got angry. He said that I wasn’t going to get an explanation and to just take the apology and like…I don’t know, maybe I pushed him too far?” She sniffled.
“Bull!” Gemma cut in, “He needs to explain himself!”
“I agree.” Aly said and Y/N sighed.
“Well Harry doesn’t feel like he needs to. He just said he doesn’t want to revisit it and to just trust that he won’t talk to her again. But like…I saw how she got in his head and just the difference over the last few weeks, I mean, it’s not normal or healthy and that’s when he really got pissed and started to leave and I asked him where he was going and he said-” she stopped as her tears started to blur her vision again and Gemma and Aly frowned, “H-he said that m-maybe he would go and fuck Chloe or ummm…file for divorce s-since that’s what I was assuming he was doing anyway…” she cried and the girls literally gasped upon hearing this. “And I got angry and said if he walked out that I didn’t want him home until he was ready to talk about it and then he said that he wasn’t going to change his mind and he’d wait for me to call him when I’ve decided to let it go.” She started to cry again and Gemma just hugged her and glanced over at Aly with apprehension.
“I’m really sorry.” She hummed and Y/N just sighed through her tears.
“Like I want to work through this, but I don’t know what I’m truly up against, you know? And like, I didn’t know she was his ex until I called her today and just…the things she said about him were so hurtful and like…I just can’t for the life of me understand why he would choose to interact with someone like that and then defend them like that!?” She said in frustration.
“Well, I know I’m his sister and I love him to death, but this is just the tip of the iceberg of his ugly side if Chloe is involved.” She said and Y/N pulled back and frowned, “Harry was with her for four years. I don’t know what went on in the relationship because he was so far removed from us then, but I know that it wasn’t anything good. That relationship destroyed him. He was already going through so much but that just made it worse and like…as much as he avoided us, we also started to avoid him because he was…awful and mean to everyone when we would even try to understand what was going on with them. We hadn’t spoken for almost a year when I reached out to him again.” She confessed and Y/N sighed.
“I told him he needed to see a therapist after that was over.” Aly said and Gemma nodded.
“I don’t think he ever did.” Y/N said and they sighed, “Like…he’s done a lot of the work himself and like…not that it hasn’t worked, he’s a completely different person even than the version of him I first met. But obviously he works on just what he sees he needs to work on. But like, she knows how to work him and he’s so convinced that she doesn’t affect him.”
“That’s not new…he’s always been in denial about that.” Alyssa said and Y/N wiped her tears away.
“What if he really does what he said and stays away until I change my mind about this? The baby’s coming soon and I can’t do this without him. But I also feel like, if I cave on this…it’s a mistake and I feel like he’s still vulnerable to her and that he will go back the next time something gets difficult. And if something this small had him like this I’m sure that with something bigger she’d somehow manage to turn him against me. I can’t live everyday on edge wondering when is the day that she’s completely won him over and he leaves me!” She expressed sadly with so much frustration bubbling inside of her.
“I know it’s not nearly the same thing as having Harry backing you, but we’re here for you and we’ve got your back on this.” Alyssa said kindly.
“Couldn’t have said it better myself.” Gemma agreed as she gave her a little squeeze.
“Thank you guys. Everyone else didn’t hear the commotion right?”
“No.” Gemma assured.
“Good. The last thing I need is your mom, gran, and Julie ganging up on him when he’s already in a fragile state…” she sighed, “Thank you guys for listening. I felt like maybe I had been really unreasonable with my request to just understand what happened.”
“Not at all unreasonable, it’s just the Chloe-effect.” Alyssa said before making an icky face and Y/N giggled. “Now, I have a serious question for you, Y/N. Are you in need of a pedicure? Because I think we just need to get out of the house for the rest of the afternoon. Help you calm down a bit? Maybe Harry has an epiphany while we’re out.” Alyssa said.
“And if he doesn’t?” She asked.
“Well then at least your feet will be soft and your toenails a cute color.” Gemma said and Y/N smiled.
“Let’s do it then.” She agreed.
***********
Harry had taken a long drive to just think and ended up in Brighton, he had a lot of fond memories there. He didn’t want to talk about Chloe ever again and he could admit that he made a mistake in entertaining her again but he didn’t want to delve into it. He literally hadn’t realized how far down the rabbit hole he’d gone until everything piled up on him today. He was afraid to talk to Y/N about that part of his life because he felt that it would maybe change her view or opinion of him and taint their marriage, if they even had one anymore. Because sure, he was a grouch when he’d met her, but that was tame compared to the person he’d been when he was with Chloe. A part of that came out earlier when he’d said all those awful things to her when she was trying to stop him from leaving. And well, the moment he uttered all of those hurtful things to her he felt so ashamed of himself that he just had to go. She deserved more than a man who had so easily strayed away. She deserved more than someone who deceived her and said hurtful things to her just to get her to lay off.
He was terrified to go back home because he was afraid to prove Chloe right…that he wasn’t capable of loving and nurturing a marriage and much less a child. But whether he and Y/N had anything anymore after this stunt he pulled one thing was certain, he needed to sever all ties with Chloe because even he could recognize that everything started going to shit the second she was back in his life. Once again, he had been seeking her validation. He had intended to just be nice to her, he wasn’t sure at what point the tables turned but they had. He had somehow started out being the one in control and suddenly he wasn’t anymore and it terrified him that he hadn’t even realized it. He needed to just let that go for good, so he dialed her number and she picked up after a few rings.
“Harry, what happened?” She asked him right away.
“Just a huge fucking fight with Y/N…I fucked up and left instead of…giving her that explanation she asked for.” He explained sadly.
“Well, I get why you’re feeling so down all the time now! Your wife’s a real fucking piece of work.” she chuckled.
“Chloe, why would you lie to her about what was going on with us?” He asked and she sighed.
“Because I can see how miserable you are with her, Harry! And I also know you’re too much of a coward to end it. But you have to admit to yourself that this was all a mistake! Because that’s what this whole thing with her is, a mistake. I know you think that you’re cut out for this kind of thing, but you’re not!”
“And why is that?” He asked with a frown.
“Because you’re so… damaged, Harry! How can you be a father when you’re like this?” She questioned. “And I mean this with all the care in my heart, H. I know you think you’re doing better but look at how easily you came back to me! You asked me out, Harry and I accepted. Obviously, deep down you’re not over me and you’re unhappy with your life choices.”
“What? I wanted to catch up and hopefully get some closure, just the one time! But then you started showing up at the gym every day and texting me and asking to see me and talk to me about your problems and your life and I…I felt for you! I just wanted to be a decent person and help you, Chloe. But I…I won’t lose myself in you again.” He stated firmly.
“And do you really think you have anything with her after doing something like this?” She asked him, “Huh? While she’s off somewhere pissed at you, I’m here on the phone with you, because I need you as much as you need me, otherwise you would’ve grown a pair and stayed with her to fix things.” She said.
“This call isn’t for me to vent about the argument I had with my wife. I’m only phoning you to tell you that we’re done. All you ever did was tear me down and make me believe that because I was hurting and not being a great person then that I wasn’t worthy of all of the good things life has to offer. If you loved me as much as you said you did, why would you do that? Why would you make me feel like I wasn’t worthy of love when I desperately needed it the most?” He questioned and she didn’t respond, “Y/N loves me despite my mistakes, which I can assure you are many, and she loved me despite my hurt. She loved me when I was a miserable and broken shell of myself. She helped bring me back and I will love her eternally and be grateful to her for that forever. And I have everything I want and everything I need with Y/N. I really do wish you the best but-”
“How dare you?” She questioned angrily, “You’re just a good for nothing piece of shit, you’d be so lucky t-” he just hung up the phone and took a deep breath before just blocking her number and it was liberating. He was relishing in his small victory when a text from his mum came in.
Upon reading it he immediately forgot all about what he was thinking and called Y/N. He sighed when her phone rang out and then he tried again and no answer. He didn’t even think twice before he ran off to his car. He needed to make sure she was OK. It was nearly a two hour drive and he had tried her again and Alyssa and then Gemma and Skye and no one was picking up. He was about to call his mum back and ask, but then he’d have to explain that he had actually left and that would open up even more issues.
He got home in record time and the house appeared dark. He rushed inside and looked around and well, her phone was on the bedside table…maybe they had to take her to the hospital and they left in a rush. But they would’ve called him…he groaned and just as he was about to head out again he heard laughing at the door and he rushed to the entry way and saw and heard her, with Gemma and Alyssa. He sighed in relief as they opened the entry way and their smiles slowly fell when they saw him.
“Oh thank god, you’re alright.” He said and she looked at him with confusion, “Mum texted something about a panic attack.” He explained.
“Oh, that was probably from what I told them to get them to leave.” Aly cut in and he nodded.
“Right, well are you alright for now?” Gemma asked her quietly, but he still heard her.
“Yeah. Thank you for all the pampering this afternoon and for taking me to the Barbie movie.” She said with a smile to her and Aly who both hugged her tight. They didn’t fail to glare at him while they hugged her and were soon being escorted to the door. Harry just sat at the staircase as they said goodbye and soon Y/N was coming back in and slipping out of her sandals.
“I’m glad you’re alright. I was worried.” He said as he stood.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” She assured and just walked past him and to the bedroom. He waited a bit before he decided to just follow after her, but as soon as he made it into the hallway he saw the last bit of the door close and then heard the lock click. He swore that it absolutely broke his heart to have her reject him this way, but he deserved it. Just seeing the disappointment in her eyes made him want to fix this. He walked up to the door and heard her shuffling around the room a bit.
“Ummm, I’m gonna go sleep up stairs then.” He informed and hesitated a bit before speaking up again, “I know I was…a total fucking asshole today. I’m so sorry, baby, I shouldn’t have reacted or left like that. I just…get defensive when it comes to this situation… And I just want you to know that I only love you.” He spoke through the door and just a second later she spoke up, her voice muffled by the door between them as well.
“And I love you too.” She responded softly before he saw the room go dark from the crack under the door. It wasn’t all that late but he’s sure that she was emotionally drained and possibly physically exhausted as well. He went up the stairs and got showered and then into bed.
Harry was so ashamed of himself and everything that came with those horrible four years of his life with Chloe. And he did want to be good enough for Y/N, but evidently there was still a small part of him that believed that he wasn’t and never would be. It’s not like all of the horrible shit he did when he was with Chloe just went away! He felt bad about it every time a memory resurfaced. And the one thing that should’ve made him feel better, but actually made him feel even more like shit was that Y/N still loved him. After everything he’d put her through today, not to mention the last few weeks of deception and even betrayal to some extent, she still made a point to tell him that she loved him. It was crazy to him…he would never withhold his love from her either, but he felt that she provided the good and all he did was hurt her and disappoint her. Even when their paths first crossed she had extended respect and kindness to him when he was awful to her. Maybe if he just explained to her why he was so worried about talking about this she would give him more time to figure out how to share this stuff about his past and how that led to what happened over the last couple weeks. As much as he wanted to avoid talking about it, fixing things with Y/N was far more important than his shame over his past.
With that new priority at the front of his mind Harry sat up from the bed and got into his slippers, he headed to the stair case and when he reached it he stopped at the top of it when he saw Y/N was on her third step up. They both just looked at each other for a moment before she spoke up.
“Are you really gonna make me go all the way up there after the day I’ve had?” She inquired and his lips split in a small smile and he proceeded to hurry down the steps. With each step he took down his eyes flooded with his tears and as soon as she was within arm’s reach he pulled her close as he sniffled.
“I love you so much, baby.” He sighed in relief at the feeling of her being in his arms again and more than that, she hugged him back.
“I know you do. And I love you too.” She assured him and he pulled back to look at her.
“I don’t think I deserve it sometimes.” He confessed through a sniffle and she frowned.
“We all make mistakes-”
“Well I’m the only one fucking up here and you deserve more than that-”
“I’m not perfect by any means. I lied about…the hot Cheetos and the Jaffa cakes.” She said and he chuckled despite his tears streaming down his cheeks.
“Yeah, that’s actually far worse than what I lied about.” He said sarcastically and she smiled up at him. She was hopeful that he was ready to share what had happened. She just wanted to understand him. “Ummm, can we sit to talk?”
“Please.” she said and he chuckled and helped her down and to the couch just in the next room over. He flicked on the lamp they had in there to give the space a nice warm glow and she got comfortable on the couch, her back to the armrest as she brought up her legs up over his and hugged a pillow to her body. Harry sat beside her, his hands on her legs and stroked over them softly as he collected his thoughts for a moment.
“Ummm…first off, again, I am so sorry for lying and hiding things from you. For continuing to see Chloe. For the way I’ve been acting the last few weeks, but more importantly for all of the awful things I’ve done today.” He apologized with a small frown, “I will never let myself forget what happened here, like…” he swallowed thickly, “Obviously it’s not the person I want to be.” He finished, “But in order to explain why I am so…vulnerable to Chloe’s shit…I ummm, I have to talk about my relationship with her and ummm…” He exhaled nervously and when his eyes met hers she could see the anxiety and fear and sadness in them, his hands even started trembling a bit and it absolutely broke her heart, “Baby, I mean this with my whole heart! I want to be able t-to talk about it but I can’t talk about this with you yet. And it’s not a you thing, I honestly have never talked about it properly with anyone.” He explained to her and her frown deepened upon hearing this. He’d been carrying this around all by himself for all of these years? He was certainly stronger than she had given him credit for.
“Being with her, those were the worst years of my life and I’ve learned to just accept what it was, you know? Like I can’t change the past and as much as it is what it is ummm…it still…it still hurts a lot if I think about it too much. And like… I wasn’t the best person when I was with her and like…” he sighed as he just worked up the courage to speak. He started anxiously picking at the sides of his fingers and she reached out and grabbed his hands, forcing him to look up at her, “Baby, I guess I’m afraid that if you hear how awful I was maybe you won’t feel the same about me or even look at me in the same way. I’m so ashamed about that whole part of my life and that’s why it’s hard to explain to you how this happened. But what I can tell you is that…I think a part of her is still like… she’s still in my head.” He frowned and she did as well, nodding in understanding. “And I have tried everything to just stop hearing her voice in there. Like, I’m already hard on myself but like…this is different. It’s like on a whole different level and it really makes me doubt myself. One thing she’d always tell me was that I wasn’t good enough for a family of my own. That because of my intense grief I wasn’t strong enough of a person to have…well, to have what we have together.” He said and Y/N shook her head in disbelief with a pout.
“She really said that to you?” She asked and he couldn’t bear to look at her as he nodded.
“Yeah. All the time. And I would see the way I’d treat my friends and my family and how…shitty I was and so I…believed it. I believed what she told me and I had made peace with it.” He chuckled sadly, “It was the reason why she “couldn’t be faithful” to me,” he said with air quotes, “Because I wasn’t good enough for a real committed relationship and I think that…when I do something wrong or I…hurt your feelings, like when I told you I felt trapped,” he said and she nodded, “I think ummm…it’s like a confirmation bias, you know? Like everything she said about me was right. Like I wasn’t built for this. Like I don’t…deserve it.” he explained and Y/N’s heart was breaking for him, “I hope this is enough o-of an explanation for you, but that’s all I can talk about right now without feeling like…basically like she’s won. Again.” He explained softly. Just the idea of him feeling like Chloe had won made Y/N’s blood boil in a way she had never felt before. She would equate it to the wrath of god. She couldn’t believe someone would be so cruel on purpose.
“Look at me, H.” She said quietly, his eyes met hers again with some uncertainty. But Harry was relieved that she wasn’t looking at him with pity, like he was broken. There was just love and compassion as she looked at him, “Look at what we have together and how far you’ve come from that! She didn’t win then and she hasn’t won now. You have.” She said to him and Harry just felt the lump in his throat bob violently before he started to sob.
“And yes, what you’ve shared is enough for now and you’re enough for me. More than! Always.” She offered a soft and encouraging smile, “And I do forgive you, baby. And your family forgives you too. And look, that’s all good and well, but I think you might still be so affected by all of this because…you haven’t forgiven yourself.” She explained and his eyes softened as he choked on another sob, “What you said earlier about not forgetting about what happened, I agree that we need to sometimes remind ourselves of past instances where we went about things the wrong way. Like we can’t erase mistakes, they help us learn and do better, right? But it shouldn’t be this thing where you’re holding your mistakes over your head all the time, baby. I love you so much and so does your family, none of us are ever going to hold your shortcomings over your head. So why should you?” She asked him and he shrugged as he gasped for air. “Oh, come here, my love.” She tutted and he just surged forward and nestled into her side as best as he could. “I love you so much.” She said softly.
Sure, he had made things right with everyone else he had hurt and it was enough for a while but he had never gotten around to making things right with himself. And ultimately the forgiveness and acceptance that he needed the most to be able to heal fully was his own, but he wouldn’t be able to do that alone.
“I love you.” He hiccuped, “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. You mean everything to me. You’re my whole life. You have to know that. I’m sorry.” He whispered over and over as she just held him for several minutes until his crying calmed down enough that he could properly breathe again.
“Baby, when I say this to you it’s just a suggestion and like…I want you to seriously consider it.” She said and he hummed, “H-have you ever thought of meeting with a therapist to like…work through all of this?” She asked and he pulled back and nodded as he sniffled.
“Yeah, I’ve made so many appointments but ummm…I always flake out because I think that…that they’ll get a look at me and be like how does some scary looking guy let another person fuck him up so badly? Like why couldn’t I have just left sooner or like…seen through her shit, you know?”
“Well, first off it’s no one’s place to judge you, specially a therapist. But also, when I said Chloe is not sane, I mean that, like medically.” She said and Harry chuckled and bit through his tears and she smiled, “It really wasn’t an insult to her, like just from the ten minutes I spoke with her it was clear that she has issues of her own to resolve. I’m sure she has the capacity to be a great person, like all people do! And I’m sure that the version of her you first met and interacted with and even…fell in love with wasn’t this.” She said and he nodded.
“Yeah, not really.” He confirmed.
“I mean, maybe she has her own mental illness that she never talked to you about or something in her past that’s made her this way. But like…if it’s something serious and chronic, like a personality disorder, for example…if you’re not emotionally equipped to handle that, which most people who aren’t trained professionals aren’t, it can be extremely traumatic to have people like that in your life, H. And I will acknowledge that you’ve done a fantastic job of healing on your own and regaining your light and your nurturing and loving nature! Trust me, I see it every single day, baby, and I’m so proud of you for it.” She reassured him, “We all love how hard you love us and value us all, but I think it’s time to do that for yourself too. I mean, just in light of being parents now it’s something to…to consider.” She said and he nodded, “Like…I’ll probably need some therapy too after the fallout with my family. Like, I think about it and I feel so angry at them and I feel…betrayed by them and I want to get back at them somehow.” She explained, “But I don’t want our baby to grow up and see that unresolved anger and spite towards them. Like, obviously what they’ve done has hurt me unimaginably and who knows how long this beef’ll last with them…” she sighed, “But like, it’s OK to feel hurt, but I don’t want to walk around for years being angry and bitter at them. It’s just not healthy, you know?”
“Yeah, I think you’re right.” He said softly.
“You deserve to heal from this, baby.” She said and he nodded. They were quiet for a few seconds as she let him process all of this.
“Baby? D-do you think if I do…therapy that they’d let you stay with me until I feel comfortable doing it alone?” He asked and she smiled and nodded.
“Yeah, I think that shouldn’t be an issue.” She assured. “Though with the baby coming soon it might be a little tough.”
“We’ll just do it online for a bit then.” He said and she smiled and nodded, “Can I kiss you?” He asked and she nodded.
“Of course.” She said and he was careful and he kind of straddled her and leaned in to kiss her lips gently before pulling her into his side and getting comfortable beside her as best as they could with their limited space not he couch.
“You know, you’re the complete opposite of Chloe.” He said softly, “I think that’s why at first I hated you.”
“Hated?!” She gasped playfully and he smiled and shrugged a bit.
“If not hate, it was pretty close to it.” He confessed and she sniggered a bit.
“If I was the opposite, why would you hate me?” She questioned in some confusion.
“Because ummm…you weren’t her. Like I wasn’t in love with her anymore but I did miss the good bits.” He said softly, “I think that first day, after we had that little tiff and then you came back in and apologized? That just threw me off my orbit.” He said through a chuckle, “And I felt like a fucking child…like I didn’t know anything about human interactions. No one had been accountable for their shit and apologized to me in…fuck I couldn’t even remember. It made me angry that you felt I needed an apology because I felt like… I didn’t deserve it so I was a dick to you. Like…almost as if I needed to prove to you why I didn’t deserve your niceties or an apology. And down the line, it’s like, I wanted to see your ugly side but your reactions to my antagonizations were always the opposite of what I expected and…wanted to some extent. But that really shone a light on how badly I was being treated before and seeing you growing and flourishing and everyone liking you from the get-go…for me it was like…everything I’d ever wanted and wished for was being given to someone else. All that support and affection and friendship. Even I liked you, but I was jealous. And then you were so nice to me when I got stood up and it…gave me hope again.” He explained to her and she hummed in acknowledgment, letting him get it all out there.
“That’s when I decided to stop dwelling on what I had endured and just let something good happen to me because I really needed it. I mean, I had no idea what would come of me letting you into my life. Maybe it was just going to be another lesson and loss…” he chuckled, “But letting you in was the best decision of my life, whether it was short-lived or long-haul, I just knew that I would never be the same after you, in a good way.” He smiled and she did as well. “I love you in ways I never knew were possible, even more so now that you’re carrying our little boy, I mean…” he inhaled sharply to prevent himself from crying again but he couldn’t help it and whimpered on a sob before speaking again, “I’m sorry for taking what we have for granted.” He sniffled, “This is really the most special thing two people can do together. And it’s not lost on me that…that I have to prove myself to you now and earn back the trust that I broke. But I promise you that I will work hard every single day to show you two that I’m the person you’ll need me to be.”
“You already do, baby.” She assured him, “And we all get in our heads or make mistakes sometimes. And I want you to know that I don’t expect perfection from you. I just want you to try your best and I’ll try my best.” She said with a smile, “Saw this thing from Brené Brown once about how she and her husband check on each other when they reconvene after their days.” She said and he hummed. “They have a rule that between the both of them they need to make 100% and they have like a limit for what’s passing. So say 80%. Like if one of us had a super shitty day, we focus on taking care of that person and our family. Like maybe we get takeout instead, or do the laundry the next day…whatever it be that we need to put aside, we put it aside and prioritize caring for the partner who is struggling the most.” She explained. “And if both of our scores are less than 80 combined s’the same concept, we just do what we need to do to look after ourselves and put everything else aside.”
“I really like that.” He said and she nodded.
“Me too. And like…I feel like maybe I’m a bit too emotionally attached to your grandma because of what happened with mine, you know?” She said and he nodded, “And I mean, I’m also starting to just think a lot about delivering the baby and sometimes I feel like…what did I get myself into…” she said through a little chuckle.
“Oh, as do I.” He said and she smiled.
“Yeah…I’m terrified.” She admitted, “I also feel like maybe I might not be cut out for this sometimes and it’s not like I regret it, but sometimes I wonder if we moved into this too soon or…I don’t know, I just get in my head.” She explained and he frowned upon hearing this, “So I think, we’ve both been…struggling on our own for a while and not really communicating that to not worry the other. When in reality we’re supposed to be in this together and share the load and the worries and the joys. So I’m more than willing to just…have this last month just be us working this out together and preparing for our baby together.” She said and he smiled.
“Really?” He asked and she hummed, “And this has nothing to do with the fact that gran’s cleaned you out at gin every day last week?” He asked teasingly and she laughed.
“Well, just a bit.” She admitted and he chuckled, “But mostly because I’ve missed you the last few weeks.” She confessed, “I’ve missed you a lot.”
“I’ve missed you too. I have one condition though.”
“OK. Name it.”
“No more knitting. Please.” Harry pleaded with a small laugh.
“Fine…was planning on making you some slippers but-”
“I’m not an OAP! I don’t need knitted slippers. Also, they have no traction, so unless you want me to die tumbling down the stairs or something, no thanks.” He laughed and she giggled as well.
“Yeah, definitely not. So no knitting. I also have a condition.”
“Alright, name it and it’s done.”
“Brilliant! You’re going to tell your grandma about it just being us from here on out.” She said and he scoffed through a humorless laugh.
“Absolutely not. I can’t hurt her feelings like that…no way.”
“Well I can’t either! We’re besties!”
“We’ll draw straws.” He suggested.
“Baby, I’m pregnant. In such a delicate state, you can’t put such a stressful task on me. Besides, I already have to do the most grueling and difficult task bestowed upon a human being in just five weeks…so, I think you should take one for team Styles.” She said and he sighed loudly.
“You’re pulling that card are you?” He asked and she hummed smugly as she nodded and he chuckled, “That’s so mean.”
“I will while I can. Every. Single. Time. And you can take that to the bank.” She smirked.
“Fine…I’ll break up with my gran for you but you owe me big time for this…A favor of my choosing at the time of my choosing.”
“OK.” She agreed and he smiled and sighed happily as he relished in the feeling of her beside him once again. She literally was the best person he knew. They had fallen silent for a bit before his voice put an end to the quiet.
“My new passcode is your due date, 1707.” He said softly, “I changed it 2 weeks ago actually, before all of this because Archie really did download like 10 games and also managed to purchase like fifty pounds worth of something on one of them.” He clarified and she smiled. “And…Chloe’s first text actually has a perfectly reasonable explanation. Which is that we biked to SOHO, on those electric bikes? After we’d grabbed a coffee.” He said and she started to giggle, “Also we both happened to attend the same indoor cycling class…that’s how we saw each other again. So after an hour of that and then randomly biking to SOHO and back-”
“Pelvic floor and leg pain guaranteed…” Y/N cut in and he nodded, “God, cycling is just the worst.”
“It’s just not for everyone.” He said and she smiled.
“Just for sadomasochists.” She joked and he laughed.
“Should we go to bed?”
“Yeah, baby.” She hummed.
He was so happy they had been able to talk before the day was out. After this experience and conversation with Y/N, Harry mentally decided that he wouldn’t be so scared to communicate with her ever again. It never really went how he imagined it would. He was a classic self-saboteur and over-thinker, so he would picture the worst case scenarios more often than not. But Y/N always put all of her effort to listen and understand him and she was always patient and loving in her responses. She had proven it to him time and time again. She really was the best thing that had ever happened to him and he felt so lucky to be loved by her.
**********
The next day Harry had a conversation with his grandmother when he drove her back to his mum’s house. He came clean about everything and the reason why they needed this time alone together. She was understanding, of course, but did give him a bit of a talking to though. However, she too told him that she loved him when they said goodbye.
In lieu of her being over all day though, they decided to just ask her, his mum, and Julie over for dinner a couple times a week and that had actually been really pleasant. It gave Harry a chance to really brush up on his cooking skills, because Y/N and Julie had him spoiled back in LA. But soon enough he’d have to look after Y/N while she recovered from the baby. And tonight they were having dinner alone, but he decided he’d make her shepherd’s pie with cheesy top. It had been a childhood favorite of his and well, he hadn’t eaten it in nearly 8 years since he had chosen to be a friend and ally to the animals. But as he smelled it coming together he decided to cancel making one with meat substitute for himself and just indulging this time with her.
“Smells fantastic.” She hummed her compliment as she came into the kitchen slowly.
“Thank you, baby. I think you’re really gonna like this one.” He said as he continued washing the things he had used to prepare the dish. She walked behind him and lightly scratched at his back a few times before she passed him and went to the fridge. “What’re you looking for in there? Food’s about to be ready.”
“You had brought some cheese yesterday and I wanted a bit.” She said with a little smile and he chuckled.
“Sorry baby, s’in the food.” He explained and she pouted.
“Alright then…no snack for me.” She mumbled before turning back and walking back over to him.
Harry smiled when she hugged her body around his, her cheek smushed into his back before she kissed it a few times and then smiled, being just a bit of a bother as he tried to finish cleaning up, but he didn’t mind her clinginess.
They had been working really hard to patch up everything form before. Not just him, but her too. Sometime’s he’d find her crying over a new stretch mark or her achey boobs, or just from feeling so physically drained, or nervous about delivering the baby. He had no idea that she had been struggling on her own like this. The first few times she got embarrassed for it, but she still let him be there for her through it. And with him it was more of that fear he had about his ability to be a good father. He’d share his concern and doubts and they’d work through it together like a proper team, and just like that things were on the mend. Truly, being there at every moment, experiencing the way life was just coming into their little baby boy was tethering them to each other in ways that he never knew were possible. It was extraordinary to witness and even on the hard days they never failed to take a moment before bed to just be grateful for the life they had together.
… JULY …
Y/N’s due date was in two weeks and she and Harry had once again taken a drive to the hospital she was supposed to give birth at to really nail down the fastest route possible. She couldn’t really move so much now so they just went to the class to bounce on the yoga balls and socialize with the other people and to do the meditations and affirmations portion of it all. Harry could see the way it improved her confidence so he made a point to not miss the class. Being there he’d also started to make friends with some of the other non-birthing partners in the class. He’d even met up for lunch with a few of them once already and planned to continue nurturing those friendships. And well, he knew he could also count on Skye and Nathan to talk about these things if he ever had doubts. He loved how supportive Y/N was of him also needing to build his connections with other young and new fathers.
“I think the route we took yesterday was better.” Harry said as they pulled into their street.
“This one seemed shorter, no?”
“Technically yes, but I’ve noticed that they do construction at night and it gets backed up. So if the baby comes in the night it would be best to go the other way. We’d be taking more main streets, so the traffic lights will be in our favor.” He pointed out and she hummed.
“Good, strategic thinking, Mr. Styles.”
“Thank you, I try.” He smiled. “I can’t wait to meet him, baby.” He said with a wide grin.
“Neither can I! I just…I want to hold his little hand. He’s been a good baby so far, not throwing any crazy ragers in here.” She said and Harry nodded through a chuckle.
“Right. Mum said I was pretty even tempered until I was a toddler. Do you know if you were?” He asked her, glancing over to her quickly.
“Not too sure.” She responded. “I’ve been thinking about my parents a lot.” She said and he reached for her hand and she offered a tight lipped smile. Harry knew this was a very difficult and painful subject for her to broach.
“Yeah? With the baby?”
“Yeah.” She confirmed, “I wish they were happy for us. For me…” she said glancing up at him quickly and he nodded. “Ughh, I don’t even know why it bothers me anymore!” She groaned in frustration, “It’s not like they’ve been present for the last 6 years of my life.” She mumbled.
“It’s your parents, baby. Of course it’s going to bother you.” Harry reasoned. “I know you don’t want contact but maybe if you’re up for it we can send a Christmas card for the holidays you know? That way they can see you’re doing good and also see Charlie.”
“Yeah, that’s a good idea. I don’t want them to ever tell me I never tried, you know?”
“Exactly. I think it’s important that we do things like that. To show them that they’re still on our minds but that also, we’re doing really well. Just the right balance of considerate and petty.” He said with a little grin.
“Yeah, that’s so true.” She giggled. “I’m curious, what do you think will be your greatest strength as a dad?” She asked him and this made Harry smile as he thought about it.
“Hmmm…I don’t know…” he wondered aloud, “I haven’t thought of it.” He said honestly, “Maybe…ummm…” he said again and when she glanced over at him he was slightly frowning now. “Dunno, can’t think of anything.” He finally said lowly, as if disappointed in himself for not knowing and she was quick to scoff at his self doubt.
“Well I’ve thought about it a lot.” She said with a smile as they turned onto their street. “You’re really great when things get challenging, which I’m sure they will at some point, so I think you’d be the one who remains calm more than me. You’re also very patient, which I know will come in handy for…well the rest of our lives.” She said and he smiled, “You’re also really good at admitting your mistakes and doing what needs to be done to correct them, which is huge! I think responsibility and accountability are excellent traits to model for kids. You’re also the one with self-discipline and have far more structure than I ever will, and kids thrive on structure; you’re definitely going to be the parent that makes rules fun. You’re also very intelligent and a fast learner, and so open to change, so I think you will adjust a lot faster than I will to a baby. You can be fun and silly, which I think is one of my favorite things about you, you know when to be and when not to be.” She pointed out.
“I also think that the way you show your love is also very admirable and wholistic. Like you’re very adaptable with it based on the person’s needs. So if that means doing something for someone, carving out some time in your day for something, or just giving a cuddle when needed you’d do it. Literally, you’re so supportive, you do whatever it takes to show someone you love that you care about them.” She said, “Ughhh, you’re gonna be the best dad, H.” She said with a big smile as he parked the car in front of their garage and turned to her with a big smile as well.
“Wow, thank you. I got a little scared for a moment there…” he confessed, “Maybe I am very cut out for this.”
“Oh certainly.” She nodded.
“And you? What do you think you’d be best at?”
“I think I’m very patient as well, maybe not as much as you, but it’s up there.”
“I mean, you deal with me so I’d say you’re excellent at patience.” He said and she giggled.
“OK, well that…I also think I’m very good at empowering others and encouraging independence. So I think I’d be able to teach Charlie how to be capable and self-sufficient. I think I’m a great listener and very supportive. And I think that I’m good at communicating, so teaching Charlie right from wrong, boundaries, expectations…and of course, I think I would be able to love him wholeheartedly and unconditionally, which in the end is really the most important thing we could do for him, I think. I’ll definitely have to learn how to be a bit more firm from you, but other than that I think we’ve got mostly all the bases covered!” She said gleefully.
“I love you so fucking much.” Harry said with a loving smile.
“I love you too.” She hummed back happily and then her smile dropped a bit, “I’ve also been thinking about…like, if…” she exhaled shakily, “Like god forbid something goes…wrong-” She said and Harry’s good mood immediately melted away as he shook his head.
“Don’t even say that, Y/N…Please, Jesus…” He frowned with a disapproving shake of his head. Quite literally rejecting the idea verbally and physically.
“Like…I know it’s awful to think about but you just never know what the future holds and I just…I want you to know that if for any reason you’re faced with a difficult decision I want you to know that I fully trust you to do what you think is best.” Y/N stated as she reached for his hand and he glanced over to her, already feeling anxious at the prospect of anything going wrong. “I just…need you to promise me that you’ll trust your gut and know that I trust you too, with my life, babe. Always.” She said emphatically and he swallowed down that anxiety and nodded.
“OK. I promise.” He agreed solemnly and she offered a tight-lipped smile to him.
“I’m sorry if I’m scaring you. It’s going to be fine, everything looks great, you’ve heard the doctor say it as well. But just…just in case, you know?”
“OK.” He said before bringing her hand up to his lips and kissing it before expelling all of the negative thoughts now with a deep exhale.
“I’ve ruined the appetite for lunch, haven’t I?” She said monotonously and Harry’s lips quirked up in the biggest grin ever, “What?” She asked at his sudden shift in mood.
“That was maybe the most British-sounding thing you’ve ever said! It’s exciting!” He chuckled and she groaned.
“Oh god, please stop me before I become one of those people with a fake accent…” she mumbled and he laughed.
“I think you might develop one over time…I mean, if this is your home now a couple things are bound to rub off.” he shrugged with a satisfied little smirk.
“I know that, but just as long as I don’t sound like an idiot…”
“Oh you will for a bit, but we’ll love you just the same.” He assured with a grin and leaned over to kiss her lips despite the little pout on them, “OK, my excellent comedic timing and humor have helped me regain appetite. C’mon, my love.” He said as he unbuckled her seatbelt before undoing his own and hurrying over to help her down from the car.
Their afternoon was pretty quiet and now Y/N was having a nice cool bath before bed. Sure, it wasn’t LA hot, but try carrying around all of the extra weight and tell someone that 77 degrees isn’t scorching hot. Not to mention, their house wasn’t a new build so they didn’t have AC, much to Y/N’s chagrin. If there was anything she missed about LA it was that, even Julie was struggling because she preferred sleeping in the cold. So the next best thing was to just sit in a cool bubble bath for a bit so that she could be refreshed before getting into bed. She was smiling with her eyes closed and her tossed back, relaxing against her bath pillow as Harry’s shower playlist and his singing along filled the bathroom with a joyous sound. Wings’ “She’s My Baby” faded out as he switched off the water and there was a second of silence before the unmistakeable chords of Hot Chocolate’s “You Sexy Thing” came through the speakers.
“Woo!” Harry exclaimed in excitement and it made Y/N’s eyes flutter open as she laughed at his very enthusiastic reaction to the song. “I believe in miracles…where you frooo-om, you sexy thing? You sexy thing you.” He sang as he sashayed out of the shower and into her line of sight. She glanced over to him, shaking her head and fighting to hold in her laughter because he was stark naked, dancing in the bathroom as he serenaded her, “I believe in miracles since you came alo-o-ong, you sexy thing!” he sang now while pointing straight at her as he approached her; his toned body rolling smoothly as he danced his way over.
“Please be careful, you’re gonna slip!” She warned through her giggling as he came over to the tub.
“Where did you come from, baby?” He sang with a theatrical, inquisitive expression over his face as he tilted her chin up, “How did you know, I needed you? How did you know I needed you so badly? How did you know I’d give my heart-Oh shit!” He gasped, his eyes wide with fear as he slipped in his own puddle of water just as he was trying to step into the tub.
“I’m telling you to be careful!” She laughed as she shook her head and scooted up, hugging her knees to her body as much as she possibly could to let him slide into the bubble bath with her. When she felt his warmth behind her she stretched her legs again and fell back against his chest and he wrapped his arms around her as he rested his head against hers.
“Now you’re lying close to me giving it to meee-eee!” He continued singing against her as if he hadn’t almost eaten shit, “I believe in miracles…” he hummed as his hands left her bump and grabbed her thighs, “Where you from, you sexy thing?” He whispered now against the shell of her ear with a grin as his fingers inched towards her inner thighs.
They hadn’t actually done anything physically intimate for her in maybe three months, if not very close to that. And it wasn’t for lack of need, just the mechanics of it were getting weird for Y/N. She was eager to do anything for Harry, who didn’t want to accept unless she would allow him to reciprocate. But she’d always end up convincing him one way or another to at least accept a blowie or even just a hand job because lately his pleasure was enough for her. She just had this like…mental block when it came to her pleasure right now. She couldn’t concentrate enough to come for a lot of reasons. Like one time, they had tried to have sex and he was spooning her and she was starting to get close when the baby started to kick and it just got weird for her.
She obviously knew that physically Harry’s dick and their baby were nowhere near each other, but having both of those things happen simultaneously just killed the mood for her. She felt like they weren’t alone and it just made having an orgasm hard. Like did the baby feel what was going on? Or did all the chemicals her brain released from the pleasure make the baby more active? She had no idea, so she googled it…apparently they did feel something and after learning that it just got harder and harder for her. But did she want it, yes, and badly!
Harry was in a bit of a frisky mood himself. Over the last few weeks that they'd been spending alone, preparing for the baby, he had been experiencing these emotions he wasn't all that familiar with. He felt so possessive and protective of her right now, but in a way that made him lust after her. He knew that she didn’t feel gorgeous and radiant most of the time now, like she had at first, but to him she was the pinnacle of beauty, especially now. He loved how strong and powerful she was in every capacity. He appreciated the new things he learned her body could do and how it adapted and changed as she literally nurtured their son to life. He felt so proud of her, but also of himself. Lately it made him all hot and bothered to know that she was carrying his baby, that he had done this with her, to her. That everyone knew this when they’d go to yoga or out on walks or to run errands together. Y/N was beautiful, anyone with the ability to see it could see that, so when anyone would steal a glance of her and then see her bump while he protectively loomed over her they’d know that she was all his and that just made him feel feral and so fucking cocky.
He’d never given much thought to how real the theory of evolution was, but this innate and almost animalistic need to protect what was his, to show off what he’d done with her, to take care of her and their son, it was instinctual. It came from some unearthed primal part of himself that he didn’t know he had until now. And Harry loved this new side of himself and knowing that his precious and sexy little wife had a breeding kink basically had him simmering all the time. Sure, she was having a hard time orgasming as of late, but as he nipped at her earlobe while his fingers felt the slimy texture of her around as he dipped his fingertip at her opening, he knew that she wanted it badly and he was going to give that to her. He was happy to revisit some of their kinkier preferences to help her surrender to her pleasure.
“Baby…” she whispered as he guided his slicked up finger to her clit and swirled it around it, teasing her just a bit before she wriggled a bit and he took the hint to rub over her sensitive and surely needy little bud. Harry was relishing in the satisfied exhale that had her melting against his body.
“I know it’s been hard, but you’re going to come for me.” He mumbled lowly and she moaned, “Remember before? I’d just keep going until you couldn’t help but come for me? That’s how we’re gonna do this. Fuck, I need to taste you, my love. Need it so bad.” He groaned as his cock started to stiffen up at the idea of getting to lick and lap at all her sensitive spots until she was writhing in pleasure beneath him.
“Fuck, please H.” She sighed breathily and he smiled as he brought his left hand up to her breast.
He was gentle as he squeezed it in his palm and rubbed his thumb over her nipple, back and forth, feeling it growing harder and harder with each rub over it. She was already so sensitive there as her body got closer and closer to her due date. She was just so tender that his touches soon started to overstimulate her sensitive nipple until she was gasping. She could feel her clit throbbing and she squeezed her eyes shut, trying to just focus on the pleasure, to not lose that spark that was flickering inside of her.
“Rub your clit f’me.” He instructed as his other hand came to her right breast. Her nipple already peaked from the pleasure she was experiencing, but when he started teasing that one as well she started to spark up. “That’s it, baby. Feel how good it is?” She nodded as she whined out lowly at just how overwhelming it was starting to feel. Her nipples ached and her back was slightly arching into his touch and out of nowhere he pinched them between his thumbs and index fingers. She choked on a groan before he let go and she was panting in relief as her body relaxed against his, “Did it hurt?” He asked quietly.
“Yeah, but in a good way.” She responded lowly as two of her fingers swirled and brushed over her clit.
“‘In a good way?’” He teased her haughtily, repeating her own filth back to her, “Made you a wife and a mum, a nice respectable woman, but nothing’s gonna change the fact that you’re a filthy little slut for me, will it?” He teased and she whimpered as he pinched at her nipples again, “I know she’s still in there, my favorite little freak. That perfect little cum slut that took every fucking load, like a good girl.”
“Harry-” she swallowed thickly as she felt her body starting to burn from the inside out. Wincing at the pressure being applied to her sore nipples once again.
“And look at you now, pregnant with my baby for being such a desperate and needy little thing…” he mused, “And you’re as beautiful as the day I first saw you and then some.” He smiled, “Fuck, it drives me insane knowing that I did this to you. You’re all mine, aren’t you?” He asked and she nodded, “Say it. Tell daddy, you’re his.”
“Yes, I’m all yours, daddy.” She whimpered as her legs started to tense up as her pleasure increased.
“Yes, you are. Always gonna take such good care of you, my love.” he promised. “I’m gonna need you to get out of your pretty, little head and let me do just that.” He purred.
Before she knew it, he was helping her onto their bed so that she was reclining against the headboard and he kissed her sloppily before dropping down to his tummy and kissing in between her legs. His tongue was flicking at her clit over and over and over again. He was aiming to get her from sharp inhales to animalistic moans. How she had missed his mouth…she obviously hadn’t been in the mood to maintain herself as religiously as before and she knew Harry didn’t mind, but she was a bit embarrassed about it too. But feeling his mouth and tongue zealously working to get her off she threw out all the shame she felt. He really didn’t seem to care one bit.
“Please use your fingers.” She mumbled and she moaned in relief when he fit two of his long, thick digits into her entrance. He expertly massaged her walls with them, finding and stimulating her internal pleasure points before curling his fingers up and settling at her g-spot. It had been so long that she almost immediately started to lose it. She was so sensitive and eager for an orgasm. She wished she could properly see him, but the bulge of her belly was mostly in the way, she couldn’t even comfortably grab his hair or head, this caused for her legs to kick and writhe as she had no other way to express her pleasure. “Oh my god, baby! I’m so close!” She gasped and he moaned against her pussy before gently sucking at her clit until her legs were trembling and she was coming undone with a scream of his name. “Fuck Harry!” She wailed as he kept going despite her sensitivity. Her head was thrown back and she was whimpering at the overstimulation as he refused to come to a stop. Soon the torture morphed back into pleasure as she surrendered herself to the idea that Harry was set on making up for lost time right now.
“Oh my god, don’t stop…please, don’t stop!” She whispered breathlessly as her fingers dug into the bed covers until her knuckles were white. Harry’s moans seemed to be reverberating through her entire body as his fingers plunged deep into her and fucked her sweet spot until once again, she was crying out as her orgasm crashed over her. Rolling her in beautiful currents of pleasure. His continuous movements were drawing out the delicious, ticklish feeling that was bursting from her tummy through her body. “Mmm, that’s so good.” She hummed as he started to just lap over her clit, gradually coming to a slow to ease her out of it. Her breathing was ragged as the aftershocks of her orgasm caused her legs to twitch and tingle.
“You alright there?” He asked smugly as he kissed her inner thigh.
“More than. Wow, thank you.” She giggled breathily and he smiled before pressing himself up and leaning over her to kiss her lips quickly.
“Can I reciprocate?” She mumbled against his lips.
“Fuck no.” he hummed and she chuckled.
“Baby, please…” she begged.
“We either have sex or the blowie. And I’d much rather do the things that will get the both of us off. Unless you’re done.” he mumbled against her lips.
“Not done, just don’t know if I could even come from penetration.” She explained, “So I’d rather you get to come properly than to keep trying to make me finish that way when I don’t even think I will.” She reasoned.
“Well good thing I got you a little something to help.” He said and she furrowed her eyebrows as he drew back. “Wait here.” He hummed before pecking her lips once more.
“Not a problem.” She assured him as he hurried off of the bed, “Don’t even think I could move from this position.” She said to herself. She was so over being pregnant that she wasn’t even too concerned about the birthing part, she just wanted her body back for herself. She wanted to be able to move how she wanted, to walk around without feeling like every step she took created a small scale seismic event, she wanted to stop feeling swollen and tired. She wanted to sleep on her back, even if she never really had before, but she just missed having the option! She was about fucking ready.
“OK, so I got you this.” He said coming out with a pink silicone vibrating ring. It had little bunny ears though, which she deduced were for her clit. Harry had always been the one to bring toys into their sexual life and each time she’d been blown away, so she knew this time would be no different. “S’got 5 speeds.” He said as he climbed back on the bed, kneeling before her. “You can wear it so you can control it.” He said and she nodded, reaching out for it to inspect it.
“Well, thank you.” She giggled in amusement and he chuckled.
“Course, baby.” He responded with a smile.
Shifting from their typically intense and fiery preferences when they had sex, Harry was gentle and slow paced. He’d never been one to rush into things, but right now he was doing everything he possibly could to help her relax so that she could be in a headspace where she was enjoying every bit of this instead of worrying about everything. Harry’s lips kissed up her arm, making her smirk at the tickle from his scruffy facial hair. As he trailed up her neck she let her head roll to the side to give him space to suck and smooch at her neck to his heart’s content. His hands had made their way to her breasts, gently massaging them, easing the soreness that she’d been feeling more intensely over the last weeks. She was about to have his baby, she should allow herself to spoiled by him. She sighed as he licked over her nipple before sucking gently, letting his tongue flit about.
“Just not too hard.” She whimpered when he got lost in it and bit down on her a bit.
“Sorry, baby.” He mumbled before moving to the other, “You can start using your ring by the way.” He said and she giggled breathily before fiddling with it to get it on. In the meantime, Harry started suckling at her other nipple, making her impatient to get the fucking thing on. When it switched on she immediately got the chills as she watched the little “ears” buzzing vigorously.
“Help me, yeah? I can’t actually see down there.” She said and he popped off of her with a chuckle and pulled back to help her position it over her clit perfectly. He smirked when she gasped as the ear vibrated the whole of her clit. She was already sensitive from the orgasms he’d given her with his mouth. Even on the low setting, it was intense and he glanced up to see her eyebrows pinched together as her clit was basically embraced by the vibrator. “I’m coming!” She mewled and he couldn’t help but laugh in delight as she started to pull it away, but he held her hand there until her legs were trembling and she was screaming, convulsing and out of control. “Baby!” She gasped.
“You can do it. Give yourself another one.” He said with wild eyes and she shook her head. Of course she wanted another one, but she was getting pummeled by these orgasms, she’d been without them for so long that they felt monumental to her. “Or should I turn it up and make you?” He asked and she moaned and just tossed her head back as she waited for it to build up again. When she felt him sinking his fingers back into her sopping entrance she knew she was done for.
“Fuck me!” She gasped when he curled them into that spot only he seemed to have found. He was diligent as he prodded into it without pulling his fingers out too far. She exhaled shakily as she felt her orgasm building again. And he smiled before going just a bit harder, “Fuck baby, just like that! Fuck, don’t stop!” She pleaded.
“Yeah? Gonna come for me?”
“Yes! Yes…fuck you’re gonna make me come!” She panted and moments later her muscles were contracting around his fingers. Squeezing and retracting harshly as she grew sticky with her come. The wet sounds of his fingers inside of her growing louder as her orgasm started peaking. He could feel her hips following his movements until she started to come down from it. The pulsing of her inner walls becoming more and more sporadic. When she finally opened her eyes he let go of her hand and she pulled the vibrator away as she swallowed thickly to catch her breath.
“Good?”
“So good.” She sighed with a smile as with drew his fingers from her. He glanced down to see them absolutely coated in her arousal and come. He reached down to his cock, already dribbling with precum and smeared her sticky, milky mess along his shaft.
“Fuck.” He cursed lowly. He was way too hard, he felt the ache shooting down to his swollen balls. He was back to not getting himself off, only would come when she’d do something for him, so he was overdue for his own orgasm and his excitement was evident of it.
She couldn’t necessarily see between her legs to get a view of him stroking his cock, but she bit her lip hard and watched as his muscular arm shifted back and forth with his strokes. It was like the perfect tease. She had seen his cock so many times that she could just imagine how he was stroking it, how he’d thumb over the tip to smear his precum down and lubricate his cock for a better glide. His eyes were honed in on her pussy. She imagined it was pobably, pulsing and glistening with the evidence of her orgasms. When his eyes raked up her body he smiled.
“Damn, look at you.” He groaned, there was a hunger in his eyes that she’d never seen before. “Look so fucking perfect.” He said and she smiled, “It just makes me…so fucking crazy that you’re pregnant with my baby.” He said and she realized what was going on.
“Yeah?” She asked quietly and he nodded. “It gets you off that you knocked me up?” She asked, playing along and he nodded. “S’what you wanted, isn’t it?” She asked.
“Fuck yeah, thought about it so many times.” He hummed as he started stroking faster. “Thank fuck I did. You’re exquisite.” He said. “Can’t wait to do it again.” He smirked friskily and she chuckled.
“Please fuck me.” She said and he nodded. He helped her onto her side and laid behind her and helped her get a bit more comfortable.
Y/N’s heart was pounding with excitement just from feeling his big cock smushed against her backside. He help position her hand with the vibrator back over her clit. She whimpered and struggled with keeping it there, already clutching to the bedcover to not get too carried away yet.
Harry was taking his time, thrusting between her legs, wetting his cock with all of her slick. The squelching sounds of it all were enough to make her dizzy. She lived for the feeling of his tip catching against the dip of her entrance over and over with increasing speed until his arm wrapped around her body to pulled her flush to his body and then he just plunged inside all the way and she gasped at the sudden, but most welcomed intrusion. He moaned lowly and buried his face in the back of her neck, biting down gently as he started to thrust slow and deep. She forgot how thick he was as he split her walls apart with his methodical thrusts. She could hardly make any sounds as her body vibrated with pleasure. The bulbous head of his cock was colliding into that spot where his fingers had been and she was literally seeing stars. Harry could tell he was getting her off as her walls started to squeezing him, attempting to keep him in place.
“So. Fucking. Tight like this…” he strained out in pleasure. She was so wet and hot, and with her legs squished together her walls felt so pillowy and mushy around his cock. He swore he was losing brain cells from how incredible she felt around him. Harry was fighting every instinct in his body that was screaming for him to just pound into her mercilessly. But that very self-control was getting him off. God, he’d missed having her like this…he missed her body. He knew that she missed this too. Especially as she begged for him to go just a bit harder and when he obliged she moaned loudly and he smiled.
“Yes H, just like that…just like that, baby.” She mewled.
“Oh, I’m so fucking close. Please baby. Please come for me.” He panted.
Y/N was so close to coming undone. Her body was teetering over the edge, her toes curling as she clung to that sharp strike of pleasure she’d get every time Harry’s cock collided into her spot.
“Fuck…fuck, honey.” He rushed out and started grinding into her and that’s when she lost it.
Her vision was growing blurry and her jaw was falling slack as her orgasm hit. Y/N tossed her head back against his shoulder as a wave of ecstasy just washed over her. She saw white and her ears started ringing and her legs trembling in response. Her breathing was caught as her orgasm coursed through her like fire in her veins. She pulled the vibrator away as it was starting to be too much, but it didn’t do much since Harry was now about to come.
Harry stilled deep inside of her and she could feel the intense twitches of his cock inside of her as heavy spurts of his sperm shot out of him, filling her up. She let out a scream of pleasure that she hadn’t heard before as just feeling that inside of her made her come again, a g-spot orgasm…it had her already frazzled mind fracturing. Harry started thrusting erratically as he filled her up, milking out every drop he could inside of her. His praises and curses were spurring her on further and how she wished that she could’ve watched his face as his brain melted with that orgasm. She could feel him leaking out of her with each thrust now, wetting her thighs and surely making a mess of the bed beneath them until he slowly came to a halt.
“Had so much for me, didn’t you?” She whispered breathlessly and he nodded, swallowing thickly as he caught his breath.
“If you weren’t already pregnant with my baby, you sure would be now.” He panted as he held her close and then kissed the back of her neck. “I love you. I love you. I love you. So much.” He hummed before kissing down her shoulder. His hand found hers and intertwined their fingers.
“I love you too, baby.” She smiled happily, “Thank you so much for all of the effort you put into this. I needed it.” She confessed and he chuckled.
“Course. Anything for my girl.”
***********
The last week had been hard. Y/N swore she’d been going into labor a couple times only for her to make it through the days without anything more happening. She was physically exhausted and mentally drained, she just needed to get their baby out of her body as soon as possible. She was starting to get contractions, little ones, that really had no effect on her yet but then on the 14th, the mucus plug started to fall out. She did freak out when she first found traces of it in her underwear and after extensive googling she realized what it was and started to mentally prepare for the baby coming soon. And then on the 16th it’d been nearly the entire day of small contractions. But they weren’t necessarily getting any worse, they were bothersome, but not advancing or coming at a faster pace, but regardless she was vigilant and Harry was obsessively timing them. But when nightfall came and they remained consistent to how they had been they decided to just go to sleep.
Y/N woke up a bit after midnight because she was having this dream where she was giving birth. And as she started to wake up she felt a growing pain and then lots of pressure in her pelvis. She was passing it off as the baby moving or maybe her contractions were getting stronger. But then her eyes opened wide when she suddenly felt her pants growing warm as she soaked them through and the bed beneath her as well. She was wide awake now upon realizing that her water had just broken.
“Shit….” She grumbled as she threw the covers off and tried to hoist herself up but was struggling. “Harry.” She said, reaching for him and patting at his arm.
“Hmmm?” He grumbled tiredly.
“You need to help me up, my water broke!” She said to him and he just grumbled.
“That’s ok. You’re ok.” He mumbled groggily and then she chuckled and reached to her bedside table to turn on her lamp.
“Baby, please wake up. It’s almost time. Our son is coming soon!” She said with more volume and that seemed to get his attention as he sat up in a panic. “Hey, hey, relax.” She said as he looked discombobulated as can be.
“You said the baby is coming. Or was it a dream?” He asked looking completely out of sorts. Hair wild and eyes heavy with sleep.
“Yeah, he’s coming. My water broke just now.” She informed and his eyes widened as he looked down at her lap.
“Oh my god. Oh my god…OK.” He said as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes and got out of bed. “D’you wanna head straight there or have a quick shower so you’re nice and refreshed, or what do you want to do?” He asked her in slight panic.
“This is the first big one, I don’t think we can even be admitted yet. Let’s just have a shower and get ready to go for when they come quicker.” She suggested and he nodded.
“Yeah, OK.” Harry nodded.
“Knew I should’ve done it before bed.” She mumbled and he smiled as he hurried over to her side to help her out of bed. He was moving fast and she grabbed his hands while he reached for her body to help her and he looked to her with confusion.“Come here.” She giggled and he knelt before her and she grabbed his face gently.
“What is it?” He insisted with worry and she sighed and shook her head.
“Nothing, I just need you to please calm down or I’ll start to freak out with you.” She said and he chuckled.
“I don’t…think I can. I mean…a baby, our baby is ready t-to be born…” he chuckled nervously. “Like…he’s coming out of you!” He said with wild eyes, “I mean…oh my god, I thought about the cervix thing again…” he shook his head and she groaned.
“Don’t think about that!” She laugh nervously.
“I’m sorry.” He chuckled and she sighed as she shook her head in disapproval, before cracking a smile at him.
“I love you, but please just…I’m scared enough as it is and I’m trying my best to just think positive. Let’s just have a nice and relaxing shower, you’re gonna have to help me shave though, for visibility purposes.” She said and he nodded.
“Right, a clearer view is probably best for them, right?”
“I’d imagine so.” She giggled.
“I just want him to be here already.” He said earnestly and she smiled.
“Me too.” She hummed and then leaned forward to kiss his lips quickly. “I can do this.”
“You can.” He reassured and then she took a deep breath before letting it out slowly, “I love you.”
“I love you. Let’s do it.” She said decidedly.
With that they hurried into the shower. She’d be in hospital for a day or so and he knew how relaxing showers were for her, so he was extra considerate of her routine. He wanted to skip some of her steps, but for her sake he stuck to them. Shaving her proved to be quite challenging, but they were laughing about it, reminiscing about that time he decided to lick at her sugar scrub only to learn it was in fact soap. And the shower was certainly helping her release all of the scary and anxious thoughts. He’d been doing perineal massages on her for the last month because she was so afraid to tear, so he did a bit of that as he helped clean her up a bit, even if it was just to reassure her.
“Just wait here, let me get your robe.” Harry said hurrying out of the shower. He was just about to help her step out when she suddenly squeezed his hands hard, her nails dug into his wrist making him wince until he glanced up at her and saw her face twisted in pain. So he sucked it up, waited for the contraction to pass.
“Sorry, baby. Didn’t mean to hurt you.” She whispered lowly, brows still pinched and eyes squeezed shut as she calmed.
“S’alright. Is it bad?”
“I can manage, it was just sharper than I anticipated.” She said and he nodded.
“C’mon, lets get you dried.” He said.
Once he had helped her get dried up he helped her get moisturized while she got her skincare on. Then he helped her get into the clothes they had left out already and started helping her pack up her final things to take to the hospital. Y/N was lightly primping herself umm she knew she didn’t need to do it, but she was treating this like any other day. She was sticking to her routine to stay calm. Meanwhile, Harry was getting everything into the car, they had agreed not to call and wake Anne and Julie yet since her contractions were still about 20 minutes apart, so they still had some time to go.
“OK, everything’s in the car.” Harry said as he came back into the bathroom to clean himself up a bit as well.
“Perfect, thank you baby.” She hummed. He nodded and then reached into the drawer with his razor. “Don’t shave.” She said and he glanced up at her.
“What if it’s scratchy on the baby’s face?” He asked and she pouted a bit.
“But you look so hot like this.” She whined quietly and he chuckled and turned and grabbed her face and kissed her deeply before rubbing his nose against hers.
“Guess I’ll just have to be extra cautious with the baby.” He said and she smiled in satisfaction.
“Do you think we should try getting a bit more sleep?” She asked.
“What if you don’t wake up in time?”
“I don’t see how that would be possible.” She smiled.
“Right… alright, let me change the sheets.” He said and she nodded and went to grab clean ones while he stripped the bed. Once he had stripped them she went to put them in the washer as he redressed the bed. And then they were laying down again, Y/N on her side as Harry rubbed her back gently.
It was nearing 5am now and Y/N kept waking up with each contraction that came, now they were less than 10 minutes apart from what she was noticing. So once again, she woke Harry and now they were on their way to the hospital. They checked in with ease and when they checked her out she was 5 centimeters dilated. She was breathing through the pain like she’d been told, but this was on another level. She kept squeezing Harry’s hand hard, they were waiting for them to come give her the epidural. She just needed the quiet and he was so respectful of it. Anne, Hillary, and Julie showed up a bit after 6am, but were not allowed in yet since they were still waiting for the epidural to kick in and when it finally did and the pain had subsided enough Harry just encouraged Y/N to get a bit more sleep while he went out and shared her progress with their family.
Harry came back in after about half an hour to find Y/N fast asleep and he kissed her forehead lightly before taking a seat beside her and sighing contently. He felt overwhelmed with hope, happiness, excitement, nerves…this was huge. Harry felt so lucky to have found her. And more lucky that she had not given up on him and melted away his cold exterior with her empathy and kindness. He felt lucky that she had fallen in love with him and chosen to share a life with him. And now here they were, waiting for her to give him the perfect gift. A lovely little boy that would complete their little family. He glanced up when a nurse came in quietly.
“Hi, just going to check on her progress.” She said quietly. Harry nodded and squeezed Y/N’s hand a bit and she stirred awake.
“Baby, the nurse needs to check on you.” He said softly and she nodded groggily and just bent her legs up to give the woman space to see how she was doing. It was closing in 7:30am now and the nurse smiled as she reared back.
“You’re moving along quite well, quite quickly he’s an eager one. You’re at 6 centimeters.” She said with a smile.
“Oh good.” She hummed.
“Not too much pain?”
“No, this is good.” She assured the woman.
“Excellent. It tends to speed up from here, you’re getting close.” She said with a smile.
“Thank you.” Y/N smiled.
“You’re very calm, this is good energy you two are maintaining. Keep it up.” She encouraged them and with that she headed off.
“Hear that, my love?” He asked her sweetly before pressing a kiss to her warm forehead. “Almost.” Harry hummed and she smiled and nodded.
“Yeah.” She assured him, her expression falling a bit and he looked at her a bit skeptically.
“What’s the matter? Are you in more pain than you’re letting on?” He asked her.
“I mean there’s pain but it’s very tolerable. This epidural thing is where it’s at.” She giggled and he chuckled a bit.
“I’m glad it’s working.” He said with relief. He knew this was probably the hardest thing a person ever had to do and he was more than glad that so far the experience was going well for her. As much as he wanted to meet and hold his baby boy, he wanted for her to have the best and smoothest delivery possible.
“Are you gonna look?” She questioned with a knowing smirk.
“I don’t know yet.” He confessed with a smile and she giggled.
“As long as you don’t pass out on me.” She warned and he sniggered.
“I’ll try my best not to.” He assured her. “You’re so calm. It’s making me feel bad for being so anxious.” He explained.
“Don’t feel bad. You’re not showing it. I think if I were feeling more pain I would definitely be more anxious. But also, if I freak out I’m just gonna have a harder time doing this and it’s gonna take me longer and I just want to meet him so bad!” She confessed, “I don’t want to take longer than necessary to finally get to hold our baby.” She said and he hummed.
“Yeah, you’re right about that.” He hummed as he tucked her hair behind her ear tenderly, “I love you so much, baby. More than I ever thought I could. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I promise that I will try my best for you and for Charlie, always.” He said with conviction and she smiled.
“I know you will, H. You already do.” She hummed as she grabbed his hand and kissed it and he smiled down at her.
Y/N wished she could have Julie, Anne, and Hillary in there with her as well. She was only allowed to have her partner in the delivery room. She also felt an underlying sadness because anyone would want their family’s support in this moment.
“H?”
“Yes, my love?” He asked her softly.
“What do you think he’ll look like? And be like?” She asked and he started to tell her how he envisioned their little boy. It was keeping her calm and giving her so much to look forward to and to push away the slight disappointment she was feeling. Their hushed conversation was so wholesome and well, his voice always helped soothe her, but especially now.
“Baby, I don’t want to mess anything up, but something’s off.” he said and she sighed.
“I was just…thinking of my family. It’s fine, but you know, just…sucks.” She said quietly.
“I’m sorry.” He said quietly, “Maybe they’ll come around when they see the baby.” He said and she smiled.
“Yeah, maybe. My mom does love babies.” She said with a smile.
“Fuck, I can’t wait.” He said with a broad smile and she reached for his face and kissed his lips quickly. “Wanna try and rest a bit more?”
“No, I’m alright.” She said, “Maybe we can FaceTime the ladies now. Just have a nice chat with them.”
“Yeah. Let me get my phone.” He said before going over to the go bag with their things. They talked to Julie, Anne, and Hillary for quite a while. They were sweet and encouraging, wishing her the very best. Then they made a call to Alyssa and Gemma. Gemma had given her some tips. Reminding her to listen to her body through this entire process. During the conversation with Gemma, Y/N’s contractions started to get far worse towards the end, leaving her wincing and inhaling sharply.
“Best to get the nurse now, H.” Gemma said and he nodded.
“Love you, babe. You’ll be amazing, alright!” Gemma said to Y/N who nodded and then they hung up.
She was beginning to feel a bit more nervous, scared, excited, happy… there were so many emotions! But she wanted to be as calm as possible for this. She was doing a lot of meditating; when the emotions would get too big she would close her eyes, acknowledge them, take a few deep breaths and let them go, like she learned in yoga class.
“Can you bring me some more ice while you grab the nurse??”
“Yeah, of course.” He said and hurried out.
Y/N was so proud of Harry, he was doing a remarkable job of regulating himself to ensure that he continued perpetuating the vibe that she wanted to have in the delivery room. He was such a respectful and supportive partner. She really couldn’t have asked for anyone better than him to be beside her for this. Sure, she was doing the heavy lifting, but his support was an essential part of this delivery. They were a team and relied on each other to succeed. Now more than ever.
Harry returned with the nurse and her ice chips and when she checked she was bordering on 8 centimeters. This was excellent news. The nurse informed her that she would start prepping everything and that in about 20-30 minutes she would be good to start pushing. After a few minutes they started setting everything up and Y/N was starting to get nervous, so Harry was quick to grab her earphones and put on the playlist of her happy music. Encouraging her to close her eyes and just sing along quietly as he combed his fingers through her hair, handing her the cup of ice chips when she’d ask for some as the staff did their thing. And this is how they killed some time as they waited for the time to come.
They were currently singing along to “American Girl” quietly while she was free of contractions, she had about one song in between her contractions now, so things were moving along quickly. She was in the middle of crushing through some ice chips when her head fell back as she winced. She writhed around a bit as the pain peaked. She started to feel so much pressure between her legs it was unreal.
“Baby. Baby breathe.” He coached her and she tried to exhale smoothly, but it was coming out shakily.
“Oh my god…” she hissed with a scowl on her face when the worst of it passed. “I-it feels different than before. I think this is happening right now.” She whimpered, “Ow! Fuck!” She whined as her eyes started to fill with tears and he immediately reached for the call button on the bed.
“I’ve called the nurse, OK?” He assured she nodded. Moments later the nurse hurried into the room.
“Is everything alright?” She asked them.
“I feel a lot of pressure and I just…feel like I want to push.” She explained before wincing again.
“Alright, let’s check you out.” She said and then took another peek before sticking her gloved hand in between her legs to feel for any changes and her eyes widened. “He’s an eager little guy! I think you’re just about ready, love. I’ll go get the doctor.” She assured with a smile as she removed the gloves and rushed out of the room.
“You hear her, he’s coming.” Harry said to her with excitement and she nodded with a smile despite the pain she felt.
Moments later another contraction hit and she squeezed her legs together to fight the urge to push. She rolled her lips together and vocalized the pain through the harsh contraction. She moaned in pain and reached for his hand. Harry grabbed it immediately and let her squeeze as she exhaled shakily. Yes, it hurt how hard she was squeezing, he had no idea she even had that much strength in her! But this was as much as he could do for her right now so he would say nothing and take it, just as she was taking this feat on right now.
“You’re so fucking strong.” He said to her with a smile and she giggled despite the pain.
“I assume I’d have to be for this.” She said softly and he nodded and kissed her forehead with a smile. Just then the doctor came in with a few other nurses.
“Y/N, hi! I hear you’re ready to have this baby.” The doctor smiled at her.
“Yes. Beyond ready.” She let out a strained chuckle that the doctor reciprocated as she got geared up. One one of the nurses started to put a little monitor on her to gauge the contractions.
“Good. I think this will be a fast one.” She smiled at her. “Dad, are you planning on skin to skin with the baby?” She asked and Harry nodded right away. “Perfect, we’ll just clean him up and let him stick around with you for a bit.” The doctor said to them and they nodded. Harry then turned to her and grabbed Y/N’s hand, he was nearly trembling with excitement. His wide smile caused her to smile back despite the contraction that assailed her just then.
“We’re gonna meet him so soon!” He said as his eyes started to tear up and she nodded. She was already getting all misty-eyed as well just from all of the emotions. They were setting her up to get ready to push. Harry leaned down a bit and kissed her lips once more a few times, “You’re going to be amazing, yeah? So fucking amazing.” He whispered against her lips, “I love you the most.”
“I love you.” She hummed, “And remember what we talked about before.” She said and he shook his head.
“Yeah, but everything’s going to be great. OK? You’ve been in good spirits this whole time, been so calm, doing your breathing and mediations. You’ve got this.” He assured her and she nodded.
“I do. I’ve got this.” She repeated.
“Alright lovely, ready when you are.” The doctor said as she perched herself at the end of the bed, down between Y/N’s legs. Y/N nodded as one of the other nurses came to her other side and gave her a reassuring smile. “When you feel the pressure and the contraction bear your hips down and push, OK? Hold it as much as you can.” The doctor instructed and Y/N nodded. Her forehead beading with sweat as it suddenly started to feel a lot warmer than before. She glanced to Harry who just smiled at her reassuringly.
“Alright, get ready, Y/N.” The nurse beside her said and she just took a deep breath before exhaling it slowly.
“Here it is and push!” The doctor instructed and she put her entire strength into it. Clutching tight to the linens with one hand and the other in Harry’s, “Excellent job. Just hold it a bit more and good.” She said and she relaxed as the contraction passed and she caught her breath. She had about a minute break before she was instructed to push again and this happened a few more times. For the most part she was quiet, her screaming was all internal and she was taking in all of Harry’s affirmations as well, letting his words settle in and encourage her to keep going.
“Alright, great job. Give it one more go…” the doctor encouraged her. With this one she couldn’t help but groan in pain as the pressure just increased even further. It definitely was painful, more than anything she’d ever felt, but she could mentally cope with it, “Okay lovely, his head is down in the canal. You’ll be crowning soon, just take your time with this bit, OK?” She said and Y/N nodded as her tears started to stream down her face.
Harry was squeezing her hand just as hard as she started to push again. He was in awe of her determination. Of how calm she was, of how gorgeous she was and how strong she was. He bit his lip nervously as she groaned once again, pushing hard to help their baby descend.
“Alright, that’s good, Y/N. Relax a bit for me, OK?” The doctor said and she nodded and just tossed her head back on the bed as she panted a few times and Harry kissed her sweaty forehead and she smiled at him with tired eyes. It had been a long process to get her to this point. “Ready to push?”
“Not yet.” She said softly.
“Alright, just let it pass, let your body do its thing.” The nurse at her side said and she nodded.
“Can I sit up a bit more? I need a bit more leverage.” She said and she nodded and adjusted the top half of the bed to get it into a position that made her feel more comfortable.
“Better?”
“Yes. Much better.” She said with a gentle smile.
“OK, here comes another.” The doctor spoke up again and she bore her hips down, getting ready for further instructions, “Alright, lets focus on getting his head through with these next couple contractions alright?”
“OK.” She sighed.
“Here we go…a nice long push.” And she did as she was told, “Oh, very good, Y/N! He’s right there.” The doctor said, “And rest.” She exhaled shakily. The pressure was increasing even more and she was most scared of this part, but the position change had definitely helped her feel more in control of her pushing. “Alright, here comes another. Use the contraction, Y/N. Lean into it.” The doctor coached and again she grunted as she gave yet another push. The nurses were praising her as she gave it her all.
“Good girl, he’s just about to come out. His head is right there.” The nurse said with a smile.
“Really?” She sniffled and the nurse nodded.
“Yes. Do you want to feel?”
“Can I?” She asked and the nurse nodded and she felt the doctor guide her hand and she gasped as she felt the little bulge of his head at her opening. “Oh my god…” she suddenly started crying, she was so happy. It was a joy she had never felt before. It was emanating from her.
“You’re so close, darling.” The other nurse assured her and she nodded and pulled her hand away.
“Here, clean your hand on this towel.” The nurse beside her spoke softly and she did so.
“Is there blood?” Harry asked her softly and Y/N nodded at him.
“Do you want to see?” The doctor asked Harry.
“Yes, but no. If there’s blood I will faint.” He explained through a nervous chuckle and they all laughed along with him for a bit before they instructed her to push again.
She could feel as the baby was almost pushing itself down into her canal with her next pushes and the stretch of it slightly stung despite the epidural, but she could do it. She could brave this.
“His head will be out with this next one, alright?”
“Already?!” Harry asked excitedly. He just wanted to hold his son.
“Yeah, he’s ready to meet you two.” The doctor smiled, “He’s a tiny, little fellow.” She said to Y/N, “So one big push and the rest is the easy part, alright?”
“Ok.” She exhaled shakily as the pain started to increase as the pressure of the baby’s head at her entrance started to increase with the oncoming contraction. “OK…OK…I can do it.” She whispered to herself.
“You can. You are doing it, my love.” Harry hummed from beside her, “Gonna get to hold him soon, yeah?”
“Yeah.” She sniffled.
“A big push!” The doctor coached, “Perfect. Push!”
“Push, baby! Push.” Harry said softly and excitedly. “You’re doing it!” He chuckled as his own tears slid down his cheeks.
Y/N strained through gritted teeth as she gave it her all. The nurse at her side helped pull her leg back a bit for more leverage and the sharp pain followed by the release of pressure and the delighted smile on the doctor’s face told her she had done it. At this point her tears started to fall freely, she was just so relieved and tired and excited and over this and eager to see their baby. Her heart was thumping loudly.
“There’s his head! Good job!” The doctor informed happily and Y/N just sighed in relief.
“Alright, she’s turning him now…Oh, he’s a cute one.” The nurse beside her said with a smile, “Push when you feel the need to, we have to get his shoulders through.” She informed and Y/N nodded. She winced and gasped in pain through the next few.
“Fuck…fuck!” She mewled as they tried to fit the rest of him through.
“S’alright lovely, just keep pushing. He’s nearly out.”
“I can’t anymore.” She whined quietly as she felt like she had nothing left to give.
“You can, baby. You can, you’re right there.” Harry encouraged, “You’re so strong, my love. Done so well. You’ve got it. Just a few more pushes, for me.” He encouraged her softly. “Let’s meet our baby, angel.” He said through his tearful smile and she nodded.
“One more time, Y/N!” The doctor encouraged happily, “You’re doing great!…Excellent!” She smiled, “And last one…” Y/N strained, giving it all her might until finally she heard their son’s cry and after that she tuned everything else out. She suddenly felt overheated and lightheaded and so fucking weak as they pulled the rest of his little body from her.
Harry started sobbing the moment he saw them bring him up and then hurry to clean him. He turned to Y/N to see her head just thrown back as she caught her breath and he kissed all over her face, over and over. He was speaking to her but she wasn’t responding, she was just mentally clearing her head from this feat she’d just managed to get through. He was thanking her and telling her how perfect he was and how she’d done so well and how much he loved her as he struggled to catch his breath. He felt his heart explode as the nurse turned to him with Charlie in her hands and she asked him to help her with Y/N’s gown.
She glanced down to see Harry pulling down her nightgown and then seconds later Charlie was being handed over to her, the nurse wearing a bright smile as she got to hold her baby for the first time. She just let out a laugh of joy and hugged him carefully to her chest. He was a tiny little guy. She pressed him against her nipple and she glanced up at Harry with wide eyes at how he just latched on without hesitation. It was amazing that he just knew what to do.
“Fuck.” Harry sniffled as he looked down with so much pride pumping through his veins. Seeing Y/N with Charlie, that was his entire world just there. He was gentle as he reached out and and touched his little fingers. “He’s perfect.” He chuckled through his tears, “So small. He’s cute.” He mused as he just watched him feeding eagerly.
“Right. So happy he doesn’t look too much like an alien.” She whispered and he chuckled and nodded in agreement.
“Like 20% alien.” He said and she giggled and nodded in agreement before looking down at him.
“Hi Charlie, I’m your mom.” She hummed as she let her fingers gently trace along his profile. “Love you so much. You’re so perfect.” She whispered with pride.
“When he’s done nursing you can take him. Here’s a chair.” The nurse said and he nodded before turning his attention back to Y/N and Charlie.
“You’re an easy one.” The doctor said to Y/N and she glanced over to her, “Just push a little bit to get the placenta out.” She instructed, she didn’t even notice when it happened, but assumed it had when the doctor was gone from between her legs. They were in their own little world as they cleaned up the area and Y/N as well.
“Congratulations Mrs. and Mr. Styles.” The doctor said to them with a smile, “One of the nurses will be back a bit later to conduct some standard tests. Just to ensure the baby’s vitals are normal and then some quick reflect tests. Then we can worry about the paperwork for the birth certificate and to explain a bit of the process for your aftercare, alright?” She smiled and they both nodded.
“Thank you so much, doctor.” Harry said with a smile and she nodded before excusing herself. The nurses were around for a bit more before they assured her that they’d be back to check on them in a little while. They thanked them as well before focusing back on the baby. He was now just nuzzled into Y/N’s chest and he stretched just a bit which made them coo.
“Take a picture, yeah?” She asked and Harry was quick to grab his phone and snap a few pictures and a video as well.
“Look.” He hummed as he showed her, “You look perfect with him.” He whispered as he showed her the video and she smiled, “Can I send this one in the group chat?” He asked and she nodded.
“What were his weight and height? I missed it.” She said and he smiled.
“45.4 centimeters and 2.7 kilos.” He said softly.
“I don’t know what that means.” She giggled and he chuckled.
“Fucking metric system…hold on.” He said before converting it on his phone. “17 inches and just shy of 6 pounds.” He said and she nodded. He quickly sent off the video before setting his phone down on the bed and leaning back down to kiss her forehead. She turned and puckered her lips out and he smiled and kissed his lips.
“Thank you so much for reaming calm and for all of the lovely things you said to help me. Helped a lot.” She hummed and he chuckled and shook his head.
“Thank you for our baby! I mean look at him…God.” He hummed, completely awestruck.
“Want to hold him now?” Y/N asked Harry quietly. He was a bit hesitant, but nodded nonetheless. “Get you shirt off.” she said and he was quick to pull it off and he just set it down beside her.
He knew how to hold babies, but he still hesitated just a bit before taking him from her hands. He was so tiny and defenseless. He couldn’t help but suddenly recall everything that he’d been told by Chloe, how he didn’t deserve this, how he wasn’t cut out for this. But suddenly Charlie blinked his eyes open and just looked at him before letting out a tiny hiccup and Harry chuckled and grabbed him right away before pressing him to his chest and he sighed in relief as he felt his warm and soft skin against his chest. He couldn’t help but get all teary-eyed again as he wriggled a bit until Harry sat down in the chair they had given him. He rubbed over his back and patted it gently to help him burp out any air bubbles from his feeding. He was completely enamored to feel Charlie’s little puffs of air against his chest. They were so subtle, but he held perfectly still to ensure that he could feel them.
“Baby.” He heard Y/N and he glanced up at her with a smile and it widened when he saw her taking a photo or a video of him. “He’s falling asleep again. You’re a natural.” She smiled.
“Think so?” He whispered as he tried to glance down at Charlie and she nodded.
“Yeah.” She hummed, smiling at him with pride. “Gonna send this one in the chat as well.” She said and he nodded excitedly.
She was smiling so wide as Harry spoke to Charlie quietly. Telling him how he would love him and protect him and support him for his whole life. Telling him how happy he was to have him in his arms. She could see his apprehension melt away second by second as their baby got comfortable over his chest. He was going to be a phenomenal dad.
“Get some rest, baby.” Harry said to her.
“OK, but come here with him. We can share.” She said and he nodded.
Once Harry had enough space to sit with her, he settled in and she leaned her head on his shoulder as she watched Charlie breathing easily, just watching his little body rise and fall felt like the most perfect miracle. There were only good thoughts and excitement for what this new chapter of life would bring for them and their little family.
“Baby, how about we leave my tattoo as one angel and it’ll be Charlie? He’s our little angel, you know?” She whispered with a smile and he nodded.
“Yeah. I love that. Can maybe add some fillers with his birth flowers? What do you think of that?” He asked.
“Yeah, we can work on it together?”
“And you can give me a matching one?” He asked, “When you’re up for it, of course.”
“Yes! Yes, yes, yes.” She whispered excitedly and he chuckled before leaning down and kissing her head and then Charlie’s very gently.
“Oh sweetheart, we’re gonna take such good care of you.” She hummed as she reached out to his little hand and he instinctively wrapped his fingers around hers.
“Thank you, baby. Thank you so much. You’ve made me the happiest person alive. Thank you.” Harry said to her with a big smile and she kissed his bicep before leaning on him and exhaling tiredly.
They had no idea what else life would throw at them, but with so much love in their hearts, they felt more than ready to brace through life together. To do anything to look after their little family. Nothing else mattered anymore, nothing else even felt close to this. It was somehow possible to feel more than joy. More than love. It’s like a whole new part of their hearts had suddenly been unlocked. This was the best day of their lives.
“Welcome to the world, Charlie. You’re gonna love it.” Harry whispered happily.
... THE END ...
Found this today. Not sure if the tagged blog is the creator, but the account is linked in the image:)
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BEANS HEAR ME ON THIS ROYALTY AU OF MILGRAM MIXED WITH MODERN TIMES AND MAGIC
I AM HEARING YOU OUT OOOHHH! Thank you, this is so interesting 👀 My brain kept getting tripped up with the worldbuilding, so I stuck with individual character headcanons -- I bet they'd have some really interesting dynamics with one another though... I wasn’t sure if this was based off a specific/preestablished au, so I kept the powers vague, but still had some pretty clear thoughts on how they’d use them! (I also added brief comments on the murders if those were included >:3)
Haruka: Sheltered most of his life. Maybe he wasn’t originally in line for the throne, so even his own family didn’t pay the proper attention to him. Then family situations changed, forcing him into the spotlight. He’s more scared of the damage his powers could do, so he doesn’t use them. This results in a Frozen-style bottling up and refusal to actually learn about them out of fear, and they come out in dangerous, emotional outbursts instead. (Under so much social pressure, those emotions often come out at people close to him.)
Yuno: Inherited power at a young age but is continuously treated like a child. At first she leans into her bubbly, girlish act, getting a lot of popularity with people and other politicians. Unfortunately, the reputation sticks too much and she’s rarely taken seriously when needed. Though she’s pressured to make tough calls, she’s simultaneously babied by her advisors/counsel. (And, her getting pregnant with anyone’s child outside of marriage would cause a massive scandal.) She handles her powers confidently – mostly for silly shows of magic, only rarely using it as a threat or show of force.
Fuuta: With an older sister, he’s not heir to any real power, nor can he stand the feeling of the public’s eye looking to him, but he’s still involved with politics and official events. It’s interesting for him and Kotoko to have characters so centered on the corruption of higher-ups, now the higher-ups themselves… His brash attitude has forced a PR team to manage all his social media, so he keeps secret accounts/aliases where he posts what he wants without it coming back to bite his public image. (His murder would be from one of these accounts, since they’re a true reflection of him hiding behind anonymity). He’s all bark and no bite when it comes to his powers, always showing off and making threats, but never actually doing much damage with them.
Muu: Well, I guess we already know she’s suited to being queen. As the only child to two well-loved rulers, she’s automatically adored by the public. This causes tension between her and any other politician children, resulting in cycles of bullying undetected by the public so no party’s reputation is affected. (Eventually, though, Rei threatens to go public with something, or maybe already has, and plunges Muu into worse social backlash than usual.) She’s the type to be extra careful about her powers – learning and practicing and testing nonstop, but hesitant to use them for real-world applications for fear of not being perfect.
Shidou: A confident and well-liked ruler. He's known for his calm presence at speeches, negotiations, and events. Unfortunately, he’s very dedicated to his mindset of the means justifying the ends, and has a few shady methods of keeping his people happy and his enemies out of the way. (His murder could range from very similar to the accident in canon, to amping up the drama with royal assassinations by someone who uncovered some of his lies…) He’s very skilled with his powers, using them for politics and entertaining his kids alike. He’s excited to teach them how to use their own, as they get older.
Mahiru: A bit sheltered by the time she inherits power, but ready to take on her responsibilities with open arms. She’s well liked, if not always taken seriously because of her cheery attitude. She falls in love with an ordinary man, dragging him into her overwhelming world of royalty and politics. She’s just excited to have someone to share it with. (He knows he’d be harassed by the public for the rest of his life if he broke their ruler’s heart, so he seeks out another way to escape the crazy lifestyle.) She’s excited to use her powers, though she seems the type to be harmlessly clumsy with them sometimes. If powers are a common part of this world, she's studied up on all the helpful ways to use them.
Kazui: A quiet but successful ruler for many years. From the outside, his marriage wasn’t an arranged one, but internally he knew it was driven by politics and advantages. (He avoids telling Hinako until the truth comes out all at once.) He’s easygoing and prefers not to make too many public appearances, but is very good at it when he does – he comes off reassuring and powerful. Although everyone is very satisfied with his rule, he has a lot of insecurities that his age is making him out of touch with his people, and that they don’t have an heir to follow him. He rarely shows off his powers, choosing to use them expertly, only when necessary.
Amane: She feels the weight of responsibility as an only child to two very powerful rulers, trying to learn everything she can about keeping a nation in order. Her parents tell her how she is above everyone else and destined for perfection. Though Amane always retains a good heart towards others, this treatment does isolate her from her peers. She’s still getting a hang of her powers, sometimes overextending herself to make a good impression on her parents/the public. (No one would dare challenge the intimidating rulers about their strict treatment of their daughter, but that also means it’s possible for a fatal “accident” during training with her powers to be kept quiet by the public.)
Mikoto: He takes his duties seriously, but to the point of overwork. Though he could pass some responsibilities on to his younger sister, he chooses to take on all lawmaking, meetings, correspondence, travel, negotiations, speeches, events, etc himself and let her live free from the royal pressures. Unfortunately, with modern standards, the discovery of his DID would probably be treated as a scandal and kept hidden from the public. Thinking Mikoto wouldn’t want to hide it, his advisors decide to keep the knowledge from him as well. (In his frustration with Mikoto’s overwork and everyone’s treatment of him, John needs to find an outlet for his anger.) Mikoto struggles a lot with his magic, but doesn’t find much need for them in his day-to-day affairs. The most telling sign that John is fronting is the shift in raw power that he displays, not having the training or desire to repress it.
Kotoko: Not originally an heir, but inherited power indirectly – there was no foul play, but she did play an active role in gaining her new title. The previous rulers were very corrupt, so she wastes no time taking over their policies and systems to improve things. For better and worse, she usually sticks with a hands-on approach to all of her nation’s problems. She’s very open about her powers, citing them as something stable and strong that her people can rely on for protection. (Despite her training, though, they can still get out of control when her emotions are running too high.)
Es: Takes their responsibilities extremely seriously. Despite their people's doubts about them due to their age, Es becomes well loved for their complete dedication to their duty and attention toward everyone under their care. They do worry sometimes that they've built up too big of a royal court, having too many voices/opinions in their ear all the time. They use their powers sparingly, though they aren't afraid to give a show of force when deemed necessary.
#milgram#haruka sakurai#yuno kashiki#fuuta kajiyama#muu kusunoki#shidou kirisaki#mahiru shiina#kazui mukuhara#amane momose#mikoto kayano#john milgram#kotoko yuzuriha#es#thank you pal!! these were so fun :0#my brain kept going to fantasy royalty stuff asdfsdf i wasnt sure how to make it specifically modern 🤔#they all could work really well...#headcanon time milgram
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