#she literally was SOBBING WITH HER CHEST on the red tour singing this

[taylorftparamore]

150 days of taylor swift (inspired by)

day three: all too well

[bangbangchanie]

NCT 127: Soulmate au Senarios

Hey so we’re back!! Admin Whinnie here we’ll be The tiktok soulmate trend really got to me lol, decied to drive in deep and do all 23 memebers!! So keep and eyes out for NCT Dream, WayV and a NCT U verision for the two newest memebers!! 

Taeil:

“내 목숨보다 소중한 그댈 보내지 못해” Your voice sang, making a smile curl up on his face, the image of you singing along to his voice as you got ready for your date. The idea of you, harmonizing with him nodding his head as he starts to sing back, making you giggle half way through.

“Hyung you’re missing lines.” Doyoung chuckled, making Taeil stop as he smiled at him, making Doyoung raise an eyebrow as he chuckled.

“She's singing my song...so I decided to sing with her.” His words had Doyoung's smile drop, fascination spreading through his eyes as he stared at him. “I love singing with her like this, I can hear her laugh as she sings, it..it gets me through this. Sometimes when we’re on tour I’ll hear her scream back at your guys parts but she's always quiet during mine.” He shakes his head as he adjusts his top waiting for your message that you were ready to be picked up.

“Why's that?”

“Cause she says my voice is her favorite, and it's the only part of the song she can hear when we’re on tour.” He laughs as Doyoung follows.

“I can’t wait to meet mine..I don't hear them very often so I wonder what it's like.”

“It's like...like magic..that's the best way to explain it.”

Johnny:

“Hey,hey, hey you you I don't like your girlfriend…” A voice rang out in Johnny's  head, making a smile spread across his face, he couldn’t help but chuckle as your voice rang through his head. The idea of you jamming out in your shared bedroom had his cheek turning red as he looked to see Mark and Ten staring at him. “No way no way, I think you need a new one!”

Your off tone pitch made him shut his eyes as he let out a laugh making Marks eyes widen as he looked at the older.

“She is absolutely horrible.” His laughter made Ten and Mark follow as Marks hand slams onto the table they were sitting at. Their laughter had Johnny's eyes snapping as he huffed at the two and glared playfully.“Only I can laugh at her and her singing… her horrible singing. God I love her.”

Taeyong:

“We're the new heroes!”  Was shouted in his head, followed by a crackled cough making his eyes widen as he blinks rapidly. The sweat dripped down his face as he looked at the makeup artist who was dobbing the sweat off of his skin as Ten performed his stage.

“They're here” He whispers, making them stop as he sees Kia stop and turn his head over to him. “They're singing Tens song. They’re singing Ten songs..they're screaming. They're here.”

“Tae..thousands of people are here.” Kia sadly sighed making Tayong let out a huff as he felt tears gother up in the condor of his eyes.

“My soulmate is in this building, I can hear them. But I..no I have..” He felt a hand on his shoulder making him look to see Taemin, a small smile on the olders faces as he squeezed Tayongs shoulder. ”Hyung they're here, I could..I could see them..hold them tonight.”

“I know.” Tamin said as Tayong felt something press under his eyes, they were whipping his tears away. Cause even though you were in the building, there was no way he could get to you.

Jaehyun:

“Now suddenly you're asking for it back. Could you tell me, where'd you get the nerve?” The sound of your voice entered his mind as his eyes opened, staring at wall, the sound was full of pain. The cracks in your voice had his heart hurting, as his hand ran through his hair. His mind rushing with a lot of scenarios, but one, one kept playing over and over.

Someone hurt you. Someone took your heart, your love and threw it in your face.

It made anger rush through his chest as he sat up and took a deep breath, hand grabbing his phone as he looked through his music app.

“Took a while, I was in denial when I first heard. That you moved on quicker than I could've ever, you know that hurt.” He heard a sob making his heart lurch, pain spreading through him as he dropped his phone. God did he wish he could just hold you, wipe your tears, kiss the top of your head. Promise he would never let go. Never break your heart. Never leave you. And how he’d work to prove that to you. So he went over to his piano, sat down, and started to play a song that he can’t wait to sing to you in person.

“I'm so in love with you And I hope you know Darling, your love is more than worth its weight in gold”

Doyoung:

Doyoung sat there, his eyes closed as he nervously stared at the camera in front of him, comments began scrolling rapidly as the staff behind him nodd. Encouraging him to sing the song he planned to cover during this live. He rolled his lip between the teeth as he smiled brightly at the screen.

“Um so I’ve been wanting to cover a song for a while now..one that means a lot to me and probably a lot of you..I hope you guys like it.”He paused as he started to play the keys, his eyes closing as he took a deep breath and let the song pass his lips. “How can you miss someone you've never met? 'Cause I need you now but I don't know you yet ,But can you find me soon because I'm in my head? Yeah, I need you now but I don't know you yet.” he let out a breath as he continued, hearing you slowly hum the song back, making his eyes water as he looked at the screen and smiled. The next verse finished in his head making him pause as he let out airy chuckle as he looked to the live. The comments went crazy, especially as he kept playing the song but missed the last verse. One sticking out.

His soulmates finishing the song for him, has to be, he nodded slowly as he listened to your voice.

“Yeah, lately it's been hard,They're sellin' me for parts,And I don't wanna be modern art,But I only got half a heart to give to you,And I hope it's enough.”

“I need you now but I don't know you yet.”

Yuta:

His eyes stare up at the moon, standing outside in the balcony of yet another hotel room as he felt tears gother in his eyes. Four mouths, without you near him factimes and long distance calls though he misses your touch most of all. The feeling of the burn that ran around the ring of his eyes had him sniffling as he looked down at his hands when he heard your voice. “'Cause I never knew, I never knew,You could hold moonlight in your hands 'Til the night I held you You are my moonlight,Moonlight.” He felt his hand slightly shake as he let out a chuckle, that stupid Ariana Grande song that you sang every day since he met you. “I kiss his fingertips,As I'm wishing he's all mine.” He let out a breath as he closed his eyes and rested his head against the brick wall.

“Baby, I be fallin',You're my moonlight, Moonlight.” he paused as he heard you chuckle , he imagined you smiling brightly up at your bedroom ceiling. Or staring at your phone waiting for a call. Waiting for him. So he did just that.

“Hey moonlight, I missed you.” Your voice traveled quickly to his ear as he saw a static version of you on his screen. In one of his sweaters, probably sitting at your desk, getting ready to do an online class.

“I miss you too.”

“I was trying to sing you to sleep but I guess it just kept you awake instead.”

“I like this better anyway.”

Jungwoo:

“ Baby 네게 반해버린 내게 왜 이래 두렵다고 물러서지 말고 그냥 내게 맡겨봐라 어때 my lady.”Jungwoo's eyes suddenly widened as he looked up from his food, his mouth stopping mid chew as he let out a whine. Jaehyung let out a snort as he watched the younger struggle once again.“Ring ding dong, ring ding dongRing diggy ding diggy ding ding ding”

“Im literally gonna kill her, this is the fifth time today she sang this song.” Jungwoo let out dropping his chop stick with a frustrated breath. “Why can't she get one of our songs stuck in her head, like I can block that out easily but no she does this. I'm gonna kill her when I meet her.” He let out as Jaehyung's eyes stayed wide , watching as they usually claimed Jungwoo lost it. “I mean I'll squish her in a hug, but this come on”

“Jungwoo..ring ding dong, ring di-hey that was the last dumpling!”

Mark:

Mark eyes trail across the thousands of green light sticks, the sea of fans had his heart beating out of his chest. Some faces were caught with the right lighting but there truly was only one face he wanted to see and that was yours. He wanted to hear your voice. But he knew he had to wait. Wait till he was back in his hotel room, so the two of you could sing together  as he laid in bed eating his meal while you were at home doing school work. So far away, yet your connection brings you close together. Closer than he ever thought you could be.”I just want you to knowThat I really, really think you're something special Wanna try hard to show Make it sweet, sweet, sweet wherever we go.” He heard right as they did their final bow, making him smile as he started to hum to tone back to you. Wanting to wait to sing your song aloud when he was alone in the room since Yuta ws going to do a vlive with Johnny tonight. He couldn't wait to sing for you.

“Just to have you baby, by my side Love would be the only rule You're gonna see, baby, how hard I can try None will ever do so well Like a load of farming, fairy tale.” He sang back as he was changing, it was softly a whisper tone, but Hechan had caught it, a teasing smile on his face as Mark tried to shake his head but Hechans teasing had already slipped past his lips.

“Someone in loveeee.”

“Shut up you idiot.”

Heachan:

Taking a deep breath in, you rub your eyes, the memory of the heated argument you had with your boyfriend, your soulmate Donghuck made your chest ache. The words he had said to you had cut you deep, had made you question if the universe really did make a mistake parking the two of you. You know he didn't mean the words, at least not fully. His face had etched itself into your mind the way it changed when he realized what he had said. The way you had taken a step back, arms curling around you as you let out a soft whine when he reached for you. Rushing away from the practice room you had bothered him in.

“And I know there's no making this right, this right And I know there's no changing your mind, your mind. But we both found each other tonight, tonight.” His voice rings through your head making you pout as you feel tears build up in the corner of your eyes, the heels of your hands push up against your eyes as you slowly snag along with his voice.

“If love is nothing more than just a waste of your time..then waste it on me waste it on me.” You whispered, your eyes closing as you heard his voice trail off then a knock on your apartment door had you sitting up and rushing to open it. There he stood, eyes staring down at you as he pulled you into a hug.

“I love you.”

[onlystylesangels]

Final Call

Pairing: Harry Styles x Reader

Summary: Harry & Y/N catch up 

Warnings: A bit sad. Breakup.

Word Count: 1k+

A/N: Hi my loves!!! I have a short little fic for you. I started this a couple of months back and I just now decided to post this. I hope you beauties are well and safe. I’m sending all my love to you. 💓💕💛

September 2016

"Bub, do you know where my trench coat is at?" 

Y/N was in the other room making sandwiches for her and Harry. 

"I think it's in the closet?" She asked herself. Harry walked into the kitchen and grabbed the slice of cheese that was in her hand. 

"I'll check love." He said while chewing. 

Harry walked towards the closet and looked through the coats, well more of his coats exactly. His hands smoothed over the familiar fabric of his trench coat and smiled once he removed it from the hanger.

"Where are you going again?" Y/N asked as she peeked her head from the kitchen. 

"A short music film. I haven't told you have I?"

"I believe not." She said her gaze looking down at her sandwich. 

"I'm sorry love. I thought I told you," There was regret in his voice the way his voice changed from its usual cheeriness to a slow no monotone voice. He didn't mean to not tell you. He thought he told you a couple weeks back when he started to talk to directors about the project he wanted to do, but either way he wanted to tell you. He told you everything, or so that's what Y/N thought.

"I'll be back love. Jus' don't miss me too much, yeah?"

"I don't know Harry, I miss you whenever you're not here." Y/N muttered out as she buttoned Harry's coat. "I miss you all the time Harry." 

Harry stood there staring down at his muse, his light, his everything. He adored his Y/N; he adored everything about her since the day he met her. That day when they bumped into each other as their very own romantic comedy began. Falling in love the third time that they saw each other as Harry invited her to have ice cream and have a walk at the park.

But they both had no clue that sometimes romantic comedies have their own crucial endings. They both didn't know they were going to separate.

May 2021

Memories of their past came back swirling through Harry's head. His head in his hands as he clutched his phone waiting and asking himself if he wanted to do what he was going to do right now. Would she have moved on with someone else? Maybe she was still sleeping since the last time he checked she was in the states while he was currently in England. Would it make him feel uncomfortable was his last question.

Of course he was going to feel uncomfortable; they've been separated for almost two years now. Harry released his second album two years ago and Y/N continued living her life. She finally opened up her own bakery which was a little shop in size but she loved it anyway. She enjoyed her life right now. She loved the place that she was currently in and there were times that she would think of Harry while working at the shop hoping to see him come in and ask for a pastry and a cup of black coffee. But she knew it wouldn't happen. 

Harry was hesitant. His phone in his hand as his foot tapped the floor lightly. His soft curls curved through his fingers as he finally decided to dial the numbers that he used to have saved as a contact. The phone rang as Harry held his phone closer to his ear as he waited until the other line was picked up. After those long seconds, Harry felt like minutes and hours had passed. He put the phone down so he could hang up but before he pushed that red button her voice finally answered. She didn’t answer ‘hello’ but she said ‘Harry’, as if she knew it was Harry on the other line.

“Harry?” Her soft voice answered. 

Harry didn’t answer back as he was shocked that she still kept him in her contacts. He thought that she would have deleted him from her phone but that wasn’t the case. She kept a part of him with her even though they broke it off. But sometimes when people break up, there is always a part of them that goes back to that person. A part that she loved, the person she was once in love with.

“Y/N.” He answered as his voice sounded shaky from hearing Y/N’s voice for the first time in a long time. “You kept my number.”

A sigh was heard from Y/N’s line as she tried not to show her emotions. 

“I never got rid of it, Harry.” 

Harry was so close to losing it. He wished he could be in her arms one last time but he knew that deep inside that Y/N had moved on from him. And part of him has moved on from her as well.

She never deleted his contact from her phone. She was afraid of letting him go while Harry deleted her name from his phone but he made sure that he would remember her number by memory.

“I just wanted to call because I remembered today was your birthday.” He said with a smile. His eyes started to get glossy from hearing her breathing from the other line and waited patiently before she replied back. He missed that part of her. He missed it when Y/N would take her time to answer. He missed looking at her concentrated face, eyebrows furrowed and always pinching her bottom lip. Those were the memories that he wished he cherished more when they were together, but now he knows he’ll never make those memories again.

“Yeah it’s today.” She answered as she shut her eyes from her response. 

“Happy birthday bu- Y/N.” Harry finally said as Y/N smiled to herself and finally let herself loose from keeping in those tears that were threatening to leave her eyes. She kept her whimpers quiet but tears continued to stream down her cheeks.

"Thank you, Harry." She squeaked. She clutched her chest as her sobs started to get a bit louder, she bit her lip from letting out more whimpers. Harry was quiet on the other line and he kept his whimpers quiet as well. He wanted to cry so bad from hearing Y/N cry he knew this was a bad idea but he wasn't going to regret it now that he finally heard Y/N's voice.

"I hope you spend it with wonderful people and I'm sending you all the love to you."

A silence was shared between them. Their whimpers slowly calmed and their tears were no longer streaming down their cheeks. 

"What happened to us, Harry?" She asked, her hand squeezing the mattress as if that would keep her feelings inside of her instead of letting them out.

"We made a promise that we were going to love each other. We didn't think that our jobs would eventually separate us from each other."

"I don't think we were meant to be. But I enjoyed the time we had with each other and I thank you for that, Harry. You will always have a part of my heart and that will never change. I love you so much Harry."

"I love you more love. I know asking this would be risky but could we be friends at least?"

"I don't think we should, Harry. If we do then we'll never move on from what we used to have."

Harry sighed, his head nodded at her response. She was right. If they would stay as friends then they will never be able to move on from one another. It felt wrong but they had to disconnect from each other. 

"Yeah, you're right Y/N." Harry agreed with a sigh. He had his head low, his hand gripping his thigh as his eyes were closed as he tried to imagine Y/N one last time.

"I'm sorry Harry, but I'm glad you called, I've missed hearing your voice," she added, "It's been so long and I hope you're doing well. How is everything going?"

"It's going good, love. I'm on tour for my third album and I'm just having a good time with the shows and seeing the fans." He elaborated. There was a hint of joy in his voice when he mentioned his fans. They were literally the world to him. Seeing them during his shows made him happy and emotional. Knowing that there are people out there supporting him through his successes and his failures; people that he could rely on no matter what.

There was another comfortable silence between them. They have been separated for two years and they still feel comfortable with each other after those two years of heartache. Something in them both wished that they could time travel to the past and make it their present, but that was obviously impossible to accomplish. But they wished it were possible in some way.

"I'm glad you are having a good time Harry. I can already know how much this album, and seeing your fans means to you." Y/N said, a smile slowly appearing on her face as she remembered the time when she went to one of his shows and saw the love in her section. The tears falling down their cheeks and the passion when they would sing along with Harry. 

“I wish you could go to one of the shows. But I know you are busy with work."

Y/N understood him and she even wished that she could buy a ticket to go to one of his shows. She wished that part of her would go back to him and live the life that she used to live. It almost seemed as if ten years had passed when they decided to break up. But dreaming about it was just dreaming which made it impossible for it to come true. 

As for Harry; he was ready for her to hang up on him. He went back to that phone call that they had a couple days after they broke up. Today; he had the same feeling. He felt that deep feeling of his love drain away from his heart and all those memories he had with her were flashing through his brain and they came after each other as if he was put under a machine.

And so they both felt content. They both went back to laughing with each other as if it were old times. Content smiles on their faces and thinking back, they probably were not meant to be in a long-time relationship. But they both enjoyed each other's company when they were together. They will always have a space for each other's love and they both will not allow anyone to take that away from them.

They both knew that they were not meant to be, but they were thankful for that time that they cherished with each other and all the love that they gave each other while they were together. Both Harry and Y/N  knew that after this final call they would be at peace and that this would be the final goodbye, well, if they would both have the courage to do so.

A goodbye that was bittersweet nonetheless.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

💓

[ikkos]

﹅   000   ✩     一    THE SILHOUETTE !

“See the horizon. See the sun that’s coming awake there, or perhaps it’s retiring for the moon now; see the golds and pinks and the promise of a sunny day’s blue, or perhaps the indigos and violets stark behind stars. See the one that approaches, their gait and their pace and the clothes that hang off their figure. Most details are lost to the distance, but if you look and listen hard enough, you might be able to discern their identity…”

⠀

TW: Death.

—  Describe your muse as best as possible in a single sentence.

“She’s standing on a line between giving up and seeing how much more she can take.”

—  Describe your muse as horribly as possible in a single sentence.

“I just gotta kiss myself sometimes, I’m so f*cking pretty.”

— Describe your muse’s voice.

Honey drips at the seams every time her lips dictate any form of noise. It’s sweet, delicate, gentle - perhaps, formal. She has been trained since a young age to maintain posture and reduce aggressiveness or excessive negative language due to her growth of rank. The classes have always been about creating a purr as opposed to a stuttering, unconfident statement. As, for a woman, in such an industry, one must be taken seriously by the way they stride or maintain themselves. Maybe if you leaned a little closer, listened a little more, there could be something seething in her undertones of dishonesty and toxic intentions.

— Describe your muse’s fashion sense.

Fashion to her is more than cute clothings, but rather an expression of personality, uniqueness, and showcasing her own self-confidence. From pleated skirts, thigh highs, short dresses, and high heels - she’s maintained the typical ‘rich girl’ aesthetic by the amount of high end brands endorsing her look. However, she enjoys a twist, her own sense of self in her clothings by either: cutting, restyling, recoloring, or repurposing.. which makes all of her closet options simply distinctive to only her. Nothing about her fashion sense would be found on anyone else, but her. It is what she has taken the most pride in over the course of several years as her style continuously evolves into something of a more formal business woman. No, you won’t ever catch her looking basic, even if she’s dead.

— Give a quote of something your muse has said before.

“How many funerals can someone attend before they’re twenty?” Black adorned her frame a little too perfectly for the event, at least, if you ignored any dark circles coated underneath her eyes that were negligent to constant appraisal; yet the mirror mounted in-front of her paid no mind to highlighting all of those small details to her. She knew she looked like a mess and didn’t need the untrustworthy reminder. “Miss. Jeon, that’s inappropriate.” Komi’s eyes rolled at such a statement since she nearly forgot someone else accompanied her in the tight space. “But, it’s true.”

— What fable, mythic, or fairy tale character would your muse best play the role of?

Sleeping beauty; her favorite princess.

“Princess Aurora (also known as Briar Rose) is the protagonist of Disney's 1959 animated feature film, Sleeping Beauty. She is the daughter of King Stefan and Queen Leah. On the day of her christening, Aurora was cursed to die by the evil fairy Maleficent. Due to the efforts of three good fairies, the curse was altered to instead draw Aurora into a deep sleep that could only be broken by true love's kiss.”

— Which archetype best describes your muse?

The Lover.

“The lover archetype represents play and sensual pleasure. They like to live in the moment and are appreciative of the physical environment. They try to be more attractive physically, and emotionally. They crave intimacy and enjoy being in a relationship with people. The lover archetype is also known as a friend, spouse, team builder, partner, and sensualist. The lover archetype is probably the most passionate, but they have a tendency to lack discipline. They want to stay young, innocent, and pure. They remain one of the most likable of archetypes.”

— Which temperament does your muse have?

Sanguine 21, Phlegmatic 12, Melancholic 6, Choleric 8.

“Your temperament is Sanguine. The Sanguine temperament is fundamentally spontaneous and pleasure-seeking; Sanguine people are sociable and charismatic. They tend to enjoy social gatherings, making new friends and tend to be boisterous. They are usually quite creative and often daydream. However, some alone time is crucial for those of this temperament. Sanguine can also mean sensitive, compassionate and thoughtful. Sanguine personalities generally struggle with following tasks all the way through, are chronically late, and tend to be forgetful and sometimes a little sarcastic. Often, when they pursue a new hobby, they lose interest as soon as it ceases to be engaging or fun. They are very much a people persons. They are talkative and not shy. Sanguines generally have an almost shameless nature, certain that what they are doing is right. They have no lack of confidence.”

— Describe your muse’s favorite memory.

Four years old, a memory at its earliest stage, yet so delicate and precious. The young girl trotted after her father in a near skip, smiles echoed on both of their features. This was the first time she found herself glued to the man’s side in endearment rather than fear; something of a new emotion for her to experience. But, It was only given that her attention faltered onto the beautifully decorated frames of different generations alongside the wall by her. Curiosity at its finest, one that her father indulged in while they toured the vacant manor. “One day it’ll be your’s, darling. Your own castle that you can protect.” At the time, of course, she didn’t fully understand the definition behind his words, yet the idea alone gave nothing but a euphoric feeling as her fingers laced together with his. “You can do that for me, right?”

— Name something your muse will always believe in.

Destiny & soulmates.

— Name a song that would play during the opening of a movie about your muse’s life.

Worst Behavior by Ariana Grande

— Going out or staying in?

Going out.

— Read the book or watch the movie?

Read the book.

— Talk during a movie or absolutely not?

No. What do you think this is?

— Sing to a song, hum along, or people should just stay quiet and enjoy listening to the song?

She wouldn’t be able to decide herself.

— Windows up while you’re driving or roll them down?

Wait, she’s allowed to drive?

— A wizard casts a spell on your muse that reveals their true colors. No, literally. The wisp of an aura is beginning to form around your muse. What color is it?

Crimson twirled around her in a deep fog. It felt suffocating as if air was forced out of her lungs within mere seconds, being replaced by nothing but the encasements of red. She knew very well that she deprives herself into two different personalities. She just didn’t expect the full showcase to cause such an intense pressure down against her chest. Red..? The color of love, creativity, passion, adventure, energy, and so many more beautiful things. Although, all she could think about were the color’s relativity to danger and aggression. There’s no way to tell which is the true or honest tell of her character.

— A wizard casts a spell on your muse that reveals their true nature. Smoke curls around your muse, accompanied by distant sounds of wildlife. When the smoke clears, what animal is standing in your muse’s place?

The previously suffocating smoke finally cascades from her senses. Opposed to the expected, a small fox appears in her wake, sounds of birds and leaves in the wind peeking from the distance. Many appeal to the fox as an ideal spirit animal by the way they follow signs of loyalty, independence, adaptability, beauty, and positive signs of luck. This is something she felt she could agree with as well as understand despite the strange circumstances. It’s what she didn’t know is the entire reason behind her revealed spirit; that the foxes are the royalties of mischievousness and tricks.

— A wizard (is this still the same wizard?) casts a spell on your muse that allows them to see what they most desire right here, right now, right in front of them. What do they see?

It seems these strange events never stop. This realization dawned on her the moment a figure shaped in-front of her, a figure so familiar yet unknown. The figure reached out to her with worry printed on their ghostly features. She didn’t know how to react at first, it was only natural that her hand reached out to his, an unforced smile tugging at the edges of her lips. When their fingers touched, all shades of color and light became possible. It became easy. It felt like fireworks plus all previous negative emotions or pressures ceasing to exist in his wake. She believed that this was her fate, the one she’s destined to be with. At least, until the figure lifted her small frame off the floor in a more maternal stance. Her eyes grew wide while everything around her froze. “Fa-..”

— A wizard (why haven’t they given up yet?) casts a spell on your muse that forces them to see what they are most afraid of. What do they see?

Within an instant, everything vanishes from her line-sight. Nothing but pure darkness surrounds her, not even indications of time or location. Her heart begins to pound inside her chest as panic shivers its way down every nerve and fiber of her being. Where is she? Where did everyone go? The girl paces back and forth before eventually running anywhere she could go without truly feeling like she’s moving at all. In the end, her body falls down to her knees as weakness or hopelessness settles into her bones; a broken sob stuck in the back of her throat. Being alone is the most tragic feeling anyone could experience.

[hollyhomburg]

Wrecked (PJM)

Summary: Months after your break up, just before a performance, Jimin finds out that you’re seeing someone new through Instagram. His group mates pick up the pieces after that.

Pairing: Park Jimin x Reader

Tags: Breakdowns, Angst, Guilt, Sorta Self-hate, Platonic fluff.

W/C: 1.3k 

A/N: I literally wrote this in one sitting don’t be mad at me. Inspired by jimin’s recent performance in Japan where he didn’t (couldn’t?) finish the last lyric in “the truth untold” on stage and this story sort of jumped out at me.

Jimin’s voice hovers on the last line “and I still-” the crowd roaring around him in a sea of lights, faces of his fans only just in shadow, but he falls short, and can’t make his mouth move even if he wanted to. 

Jimin is taking off towards the dressing room before the others have even left the still hot stage. The lights barely having dimmed. He tosses his jacket into some soon to be forgotten corner of backstage not even caring that it was worth over 15k. His skin hot and body sweaty from the hours of performance, his temperature rising as his hands started to shake. He knew the others weren’t far behind, he didn’t want them to see him like this, didn’t want them to see him explode with anger.  

When he retreats to the safety of the dressing room Jimin curls up, placing his elbows on his knees, laces his fingers through his pink hair and pulls as hard as he can. “Jimin-” Yoongi says from the door before Jimin suddenly straightens from his prostrate stance and swipes his hands across the table, sending glasses, makeup, food, and more than a few phones to the floor in a glorious crash, stomping on his own phone for good measure with the heal of a heavy boot. But it does nothing to sate the vindictive and self-directed anger that rages through Jimin’s chest like a storm. 

He’d had to sing that fucking break up song again, The Truth Untold. The one he’d written with Namjoon just after your break up. At first, his emotions had colored the song a gorgeous lilting experience that made it one of the most popular on the album. But today, today his voice had fallen short, closed up against the syllables at the very end the only part that Jimin had written, one of his only edits that stayed the same through every iteration, every draft. 

He couldn’t even say the words ‘I still want you’ anymore. Couldn’t, because it wasn’t even true. Jimin didn’t want you anymore, the wanting had faded. For the first few months, it was just a want, just a thought. But now all that’s left in his chest is a pure need for you. A need for your warm body pressed against his, arms wrapped around his neck, your kiss at the end of the day, your smile and your laugh and your everything that Jimin was absolutely wrecked over. He needed you. and Didn’t want to need you but his traitorous heart did regardless. And that had him absolutely enraged. 

Namjoon gets his arms around Jimin when he sends everything on the other table crashing to the floor, a lamp knocked over in the corner winking out. Namjoon’s superior strength has always been enough to restrain all of them- even Jungkook. And it's no surprise when he literally throws Jimin onto a couch. He gets right back up and Jungkook’s arms go around him from behind.

 “Calm down!” his leader commands but he can’t follow, can’t even see his face through the haze of red. No, not a haze of red, but tears that won’t stop falling. Jimin’s chest heaves an offal jagged noise somewhere between a sob and a gasp. 

“Where the fuck did this come from Jimin- why the fuck-” 

“-I thought I could handle it hyung, I thought I could handle it if I saw her in someone else’s arms but I can’t.” his tone is broken, heartbreaking, words spat through gritted teeth. 

“Jimin- what are you talking about.” Jimin’s gaze drops to his phone, on the floor, its screen cracked. Namjoon picks it up and it opens straight to the picture the last thing he saw right before he walked on stage. The display still works showing your Instagram account, the latest post a picture of you and another man, your face smiling as your cheek is pillowed against another chest, a man who isn’t Jimin’s chest. 

It’s kind of shocking even to Namjoon to see you with someone other than Jimin. You’d been such an item. It’s hard to believe that either of you could move on after your relationship, so full of passion and romance that even the boys had to restrain their jealousy. But obviously, you already have moved on, despite the fact that Jimin obviously hasn’t. No matter how much he’d pretended otherwise up until his breaking point tonight.  

Namjoon swipes through the pictures, the next one the man preses a kiss to your cheek, just missing the corner of your lip. “She used to hate kisses like that, ones that weren’t on the cheek or the lips- and now she’s with this-this asshole who can’t even kiss her right.” Jimin spits.

Namjoon reads the caption, and Jimin watches him, Jungkook’s still holding him, still watching his hyung like he could get violent again. But all the fight is worn out of Jimin, desolation filling the place where before there’d been fire. Jimin watches Namjoon read the caption. Happy one month to my baby. 

“They’ve been dating for a whole month and I didn’t even know.” Jimin sobs. All this time he was sure one day you’d text him, or try to call him or turn up at the company or something. He was sure you’d want him back and now, all this time that he’d been hoping, you’d been falling for someone else. 

It wasn’t your fault; none of Jimin’s anger was directed at you. Only at himself. He's the one who was stupid enough to pick the world tour over you. He’d been inconsiderate enough to consistently push you out of his life until there wasn’t even space for you to breathe. He didn’t blame you at all for needing more than one or two texts a week.

The only one to blame was Jimin- and he’d let you go without fighting for you at all and now months later all he can wonder is, How the fuck did he not fight for you more? 

“I fucking need her- and she’s in someone else’s arms when she should be in mine. I’m such a fuck up hyung, I couldn’t handle the pressure of someone loving me up close and now-“ Jimin breaks off- but he doesn’t need to continue it. All of the boys know what happened. All of the boys know his next words- and now I have no one to blame but myself. 

Jungkook lets him go, sliding to the floor with jimin in his arms. Jimin’s Hands fixing in his knees Fists tightening. No one tells him that he shouldn’t have taken his anger out on his surroundings. Seokjin is still at the door, keeping the staff away, giving them some privacy. But he can hear the murmur of their voices. Their manager pushes through and Seokjin lets him pass. He surveys the devastation Jimin left with an air more similar to curiosity rather than anger. 

Jimin sobs in Jungkook’s arms, Namjoon sinks to their level after a moment before he wraps his dongsaengs in a crushing hug, his hands tightening in the back of Jimin’s shirt. 

Wordlessly, the boys help him clean up, and when one of the makeup noonas finally strong-arms her way in, sees Jimin’s puffy face and all her shattered makeup bottles he apologizes profusely and says he’ll replace them. Yoongi’s already ordering replacements on his phone as Hoseok sweeps up the glass from the broken light bulb. He knows they all have doubles and spares anyway just in case.

Eventually, he sits up at the couch, Jungkook lets him go, leaving him to wipe away the salt from his face with the back of his hand. Taehyung comes and sits by him and Jimin lets him tilt his face up so that he can see his eyes, one of Tae’s large hands pushes back his bangs as he uses a makeup wipe to clean off Jimin’s smudged makeup, the cool aloe Vera jell a balm against his irritated eyes. 

“Need to clean you up,” Taehyung says, voice rough from singing half the night, his expression so concerned, even though Jimin knows he doesn't deserve it, his group has always been good at taking care of one another. Jimin sniffs up at him, not even having to ask why, before Taehyung responds to his unspoken question “Can’t have you looking like that. You’ll never win her back if you look like a wreck.” 

[lovebanqtan]

Min Yoongi As a Boyfriend

a/n= .angst warning a lot of fluff, NSFW

-He cares for you so much. But refuses to show it around the guys, and gets so flustered when little outbursts

-like maybe you fell asleep on his chest/lap (happens literally every week) and Hobi will point it out and cue the whole group aweing over you as he’s trying to keep them quiet so you can sleep. As he knows how hard you work, as does he.

-He is forgetful of how much he works, and when he comes home to a pissed off you on the point of tears.

-“Babygirl?” He asks. He drops off his laptop case on the counter and tries to stumble his way in the dark. He then hears it. Your quiet sobs coming from your bedroom.

-He’d try his best to comfort you. But he knew the reason you were crying was A) it was 4 am and you haven’t slept because he’s an asshole. B) you cooked him dinner but ended up inviting the guys over for it, as you had explained to him

-that night he had never felt like such a dick, and he promised to spend more time with you, instead of in the studio. 

-and he did. 

- did I mention how loving this boy is?

- Days that he has off, he spends it in bed with you at least till noon, wrapped around each other.

- If he is on tour he makes the local flower shop send you a different type of flower every day, with “I love you so very much.” In whatever country he is in language. 

- If you're having trouble with something, let's say you need to write a paper for work or college, and it's stressing you out? He got you. He will legit not mind if you eat your stress away in chocolates, he’ll even provide them. Or if you just need him to proofread it, he’ll give constructive criticism. 

“Babe, your tone sounds like your talking to an elementary schooler, and not a bunch of college kids. Maybe change it?” 

-When he is on tour, he’d make you a Spotify playlist of all the songs that remind him of you. And during facetime, he’d make you guess which one was his favorite and if you guessed correctly, he would sing it for you. Which most the time led to you crying.

-If you went out with your best friend, which he hated, but he not possessive like that, he would send a driver to wait for you and would have water and Tylenol for when you got home. Your favorite pajamas ready.

-You both had ups and downs. Sickness and in health right?

- When you were sick, oh my god was he freaking out. Especially when it was bad. Like the one time, you had pneumonia and was in the hospital, Namjoon was basically ordering him to go home and take a shower. He did, but he couldn’t get that image out of his head. The tube down your throat pumping the liquid out of your lungs and also forcing you to breathe. It had him fucked up. 

-The next day when you woke up choking on the tube, and when basically the doctors had to quickly remove it because you were choking on it so bad. Yoongi was teary-eyed and standing there breathing hard. 

- “You just get here or something?” Your voice gravely, you managed to choke out.

- He started to laugh so hard, he had to sit down. While you didn’t think it was funny because you couldn’t talk for the next week.

-You're barely depressed anymore, but god when it does come around. It comes around. And Yoongi knows. You won’t leave the bed for days except to work, and you won’t eat. He starts to get frustrated. Finally, he gives in.  He drags you to his studio, and your complaining all the way.

-“Yoongi, I really don’t need to go. I’m really tired also, why even bring me.”

-“You're a brick if you think I haven’t caught on. So I’m trying to cheer you up.”

- He flashes that famous gummy smile at you and you feel a little better. He didn’t succeed first try, you must admit. What really made you feel better, was cuddling on his couch in the dark as the soft piano playing in the background. And you felt safe. Safe from the demons inside your head, because your boyfriend's arms were wrapped tightly around you, as you had sobbed into his chest and told him everything that was going through your mind. 

-“Yoongi, I don’t even, I don’t know what to do anymore. It’s so bad. I just- I just want it to stop. Please make them stop.” You cried into his chest.

-“It's okay.” He shushed kissing your head. Rubbing circles on your back. “It's okay, I’ll make them go away. I’ll roast them and they’ll be too afraid to come back.” 

-“Yeah?” You asked.

-“Hey, demons!” He yelled turning his head away to face the ceiling so he wouldn’t hurt your ears. “What gives you the right to hurt my girl? If anything it should be my right to hurt you for hurting my girl! But your too much of a coward and hide inside of her pretty head!” 

-You laugh look at him. Smiling that gummy smile again. 

-“Finally. Mission accomplished.” 

-You spent the rest of the night like that, until like 9pm. When you got so hungry you were shaking and he ordered take in.

-Big question.

-How is he in bed?

-No question Yoongi is a dom. 5/7 will be kinky shit, but if you're stressed or something, he will literally just eat you out until your begging him and pushing him away. 

-“Want me to stop use your safeword. My job is to make sure my baby is not stressed out, however, if she doesn’t stop moving I’ll tie her down and continue my business.” He says as he pumps a finger in you and your legs twitch.

-Hella into cockwarming. In the studio, he’ll just have you sit on his lap while he’s inside you. And God forgives you if you fuck him trying to get yourself off.  

-“You want to get yourself off? huh? Tell me now, are you getting off?” He would ask as he held a vibrator on high against your clit and fucked hard into you. You screaming out his name. 

-He has a rule that if you don’t let him know when you cum, he’ll make you cum two times and you better let him know each time or that another 4

-If you hadn’t realized it, he loves overstimulating you and seeing the fucked out look on your face when you guys are done.

- he loves the next day when you're limping around and all the members look at him weirdly. or when one of the maknaes (specifically Tae) spot one of your hickeys because your shorts were too high, and Tae nearly dies on the spot because of how littered your thighs are. 

-he loves it when you beg. he will eat you out for hours, and look at you clenching around nothing, and finally, you will give in and beg. 

“Yoongi, please. please please I can’t take it anymore. Please fuck me.”

- when the deed is done he will cuddle you whispering how good you did into your hair. He’ll finally get up and go turn on the shower for both of you.

- But it took a while to get to this point don’t get me wrong.

- You had known him for a long time. You weren’t instantly like this. You had told him you loved him so many times, and he started to cry because he said, “I don’t want to get hurt.”

-Finally one night, he decided. You weren’t doing anything special, just playing Mario cart with Jungkook and Tae, and suddenly Yoongi walks up behind you and wraps his arms around your shoulders. 

-”Are you okay?” You ask him after asking Tae and Jungkook for a second. They hopped on their phones, nodding after pausing their screens.

- “I need to tell you something.” He smiles that famous gummy smile known to Armys internationally. 

-”What's up?” You ask worriedly. 

-He pulls you in and you swear you’ve never been happier at these words. 

-”I love you. I love you so much. And I know you won’t hurt me because you love me too, and I could hurt you just as bad and I love you and  I can’t live without you. And I’ve been dying to say these words for so long. But I was so afraid. I’m not anymore. I’m going to make up for a lost time, I promise. “ He says so slow and sweet into your ear, and you swore you heard his voice crack as if he was crying.

-“Your right, I couldn’t hurt you because you know I can’t live without you either genius. I love you too much to even say your dumb.” You laugh a little. And look up and see Taehyung and Jungkook filming the two of you.

- “Brats! Get back here or I’ll tell Jin to beat you both with his spoon!”

- Everything and I means everything has been different since then. 

- Of course, that's not how he asked you out.

- 2 years ago,  it was right after their  BTS Memories of 2017. And the members were celebrating a successful night.  Being Yoongi’s best friend, you had been invited too.  

-Yoongi was more than focused that night. Because he had an objective. He had liked you for a while, and he knew you liked him. He could see it, that admiration look. 

-That admiration looks that fans have, that he first recognized in you, and compared to fans at fan meetings. Its how he tells if their fake or not.

-You have had it since he first started talking to you. And he wonders why. But now he realized he has the same look for you because Namjoon calls it “heart eyes”

-As he walks up to you, Jungkook notices him. 

-“Ah, Noona I’ll give you and Hyung some time.” And Jungkook walks to the other side of the Restaurant where the rest of his hyungs are.

-You turn around to face a stern-faced, blonde yoongi. But also looks like a kitten at the same time? Kitten licks on your- shut up brain. You turn slightly red before talking.

-“Yeah? Whats up?” You ask him.

-“I need to talk to you...” He says lowly, eyeing the 95 liners whispering about him. “alone preferably.”

-“Okay, whatever you want.” You smile sheepishly at him, lowkey kind of drunk already.

-He grabs your wrist gently and drags you outside. 

-”y/n remember when you told me you liked me?” he says looking straight into your eyes.

-”Yeah. and you never gave me an answer.”

-” I’m giving you one now. I like you a lot. And I’d be really happy if you were to date me..”

Your eyes tear up and you look down. 

“Why are you crying?” He asks grabbing your face and pressing your foreheads together. Not caring the members are practically pressed against the windows trying to watch.

“I feel like, I’ve been waiting so long. And it been so cold. And I’m finally warm haha. That's the only way I can explain it. I’m just so happy. Yes, of course, I’d date you stupid.” You stutter out.

The beginning of your life with Yoongi started here.

[victorhu-gone]

Les Miserables tour in Newcastle (23/08/19)

I was worried it wouldn't have the proper effect because I know the musical so well but I was WRONG and I'm gonna shout at you about it

There was so much spitting. Why was there so much spitting?

Acting choices but also like, Killian just had a lot of flying spit that's very visible in that lighting.

I love the chunks that have been added since the 25th anniversary concert, it looks a lot less like Valjean is taking Cosette for nefarious purposes

Baby Cosette and Gavroche were so so tiny! But did such a good job! J'adore!

This might actually be my favourite Javert, everything was amazing

Stars? So fuckin powerful but why do people start clapping before hes finished the final note?

He's singing it so we can hear it please lemme hear him

Javerts Suicide was also just sublime, it was unbelievably raw and heartbreaking. 10/10 he was absolutely Done and I could have believed he was genuinely suicidal.

I have heard the musical countless times, read the book, talked about it at length etc but I still almost believed it was happening because he was so damn good

Enjolras had beautiful blond curls and we all kind of expect/hope for this but uh Grantaire could have been in a shampoo advert

He flips his hair like a model and/or horse in a film every time he turns to Enjolras

Speaking of Grantaire and Enjolras

The extended eye contact during pretty much every scene but especially around Eponines death? Almost cried. Grantaire looked so sorrowful and scared, even moreso than when the first shots were fired and he hid behind the barrels and whatnot

Grantaire, by the way, was extremely funny without being too over the top. I adore him. The actor also played a dude in a wig in the wedding and was similarly hilarious.

The nun in Fantines hospital room had a minor problem with her costume and basically was a half-blinded ghost

Theres a blind guy in Master of the House right and that uhh was interesting. Lots of chest squeezing re: both Thenardier, who deserves it for sitting in the dudes lap to out his shoes in, and a random woman

I take back every mean thing I've ever seen about enjolras' jacket, it's way less silly when it's gleaming under the stage lights. Please forgive me

When people say the end of One Day More and the reprise of Do You Hear the People Sing blew them away I thought it was hyperbole

We were close enough that I'm convinced I literally felt their breath but regardless it vibrates your organs in a way loud music etc has never done before? How?

Killian Donnelly as Jean Valjean is sublime I loved every decision he made

Every single thing he said or did

The fact the chain in the confrontation never actually hit him is almost impossible to believe, I was close enough to see there were MILLIMETRES in it

Older Cosette was so excitable and happy and almost spoke some of her lines instead because of this. She was excellent at sassing Valjean. I love her very much.

Eponine was exactly what she needed to be to balance the other out and holy hell does she have power in her voice.

Can you sense a theme?

There isn't a single actor I didn't think was magnificent

Marius was a dumbass and equally as emotive but Empty Chairs at Empty Tables had me close to sobbing because he was borderline sobbing himself as he sang

How do they manage to put to much emotion into every performance?

I'm not saying the tears were real but you can't convince me they weren't real they were so realistic guys. The retreating shadow thing Les Amis+ do as he turns with the candle made it even harder to bear

The guy with the red flag almost twatted someone on the head at least once

It wasn't an Enjolras/Grantaire hug performance but the arm shoulder clasp thing before Grantaire wrenches himself away to cry with Gav was still very gay

When Gavroche dies Enjolras hands Grantaire the body and he spends several minutes trying to wake him and them sobbing into his chest. No thanks.

What about Fantine, I hear you ask?

Guess.

If you said I crushed my sisters finger bones because of her (and the beginning, and Valjeans Soliloquy) you would be correct friends. A few notes in I Dreamed a Dream were a little weak but it doesn't detract from the performance, I just expected Ruthie Henshall, you know?

I'm sure it's not surprising that the ending did conpletely break me out in tears (for the record I almost never cry, it was that bad)

I have minor heart problems this could have killed me

I have too many feelings for this rn.

[oneshots4u]

My Brave Girl

Summary: Y/N is a singer performing in a festival in America.  She is suddenly hit with a pang of anxiety during her performance and her boyfriend Harry has to come help her.

Warnings: anxiety, panic attacks

“How are you feeling about today?” your boyfriend asked, bringing you a cup of coffee.  You smiled sheepishly and took it from him, looking around your tour bus.

“Okay, I think,” you responded, reaching a hand up to push the dark curls out of his face.  “Just the usual worries, that I’ll forget everything, that literally everyone in the crowd is only there hoping to see you, that everything I’ve worked my whole life for has only amounted to this because my boyfriend is Harry Styles.  You know, just the completely average worries that I’m sure most people can relate to.” You smiled at him.  He laughed softly.

“Everyone is here to see you because you’re amazing, not because I might be there.  It’s all on you, gorgeous,” For some reason, this statement didn’t sit right with you.  In the past, you’d felt that because a lot of these people knew who you were because of Harry, there was a lot less pressure on you.  They only wanted to see your famous boyfriend, and tolerated you.  By allowing yourself to believe in your own worth, you were accepting a LOT more pressure.

“You okay babe?” You were snapped from your thoughts by Harry’s hand moving to hold yours softly.  You nodded at him and finished your coffee. 

“I have to go get ready, are you coming with or hanging here?”

“I’ll stay here for now, but I’ll come catch your set later, yeah?  I have a conference call so might miss the first couple minutes but I promise I’ll be there as fast as I can.”  

“Sounds good!  I love you,”  You stood up and leant across to kiss him.

“I love you, good luck, sing well,”  He kissed you back hard, repeating the mantra you had said to him for all of his concerts, glad that he was finally able to return the favour and watch you live your dream.

As you applied your makeup, you were ashamed to admit that you weren’t feeling your best.  Your hands slowly began shaking as the clock ticked closer to your set time, and you thought over your past of singing in bars and on streets, before falling into a relationship with one of the most famous men of all time, gaining hundreds of thousands of followers and so many gig bookings overnight.  Playing this travelling festival was a dream come true, and Harry had been by your side for the whole thing, taking flights and buses across America for the 37504th time, but seeing it in a whole new way because it was your first.  He never once complained about the long hours or early mornings, and supported you perfectly, and you were endlessly grateful, as not only was he the best boyfriend, he was honestly the reason all this had happened so fast.  As much as he tried to convince you it was all your hard work, you were known to a freaking lot more people than you had been a year ago, and honestly you weren’t certain if you were ready for this level of fame or the size of the crowds that showed up day after day.

You glanced at your phone as a crew member laced a wire through your shirt and handed you a mic.  A text from Harry popped up:  “Good luck, sexy, I love you forever xx”

You smiled slightly, feeling a short moment of relief before the butterflies returned ferociously to your stomach and your fingers commenced their trembling.  You couldn’t help but think that if Harry had been there you would have felt a lot calmer, but he had to work and that was okay, and you didn’t need him, you could do this on your own, you were okay.  You let these thoughts wash over you constantly until you got the thumbs up from another crew member and ran out on stage.  

The lights were bright, the crowd was bouncing, the sun was blaring down, and everything was good.  At least, it seemed that way to everyone but you.  You kept glancing over to your bandmates who didn’t seem to be concerned at all, but to you, everything felt wrong, and every single move you made was measured and second guessed.  Every time you looked backstage and Harry wasn’t in his usual place you felt worse.  Eventually, you weren’t even sure how to sing anymore, nevermind the lyrics to your song.  It felt like your body had given up on fighting the anxiety and had allowed it to wash over you completely.  You felt like you were drowning.  Your voice faltered as you looked over to Harry’s usual spot one last time, and you felt the mic drop from your hand.  The crowd sang along in your silence, but began to quiet down when the front rows started mumbling about something being wrong.  Your band kept playing until you stumbled and leaned back against a huge speaker.  You couldn’t feel your legs.  You couldn’t see anything.  You could hardly breathe.  

“Somebody help her!” A girl in the front shouted.  The music stopped, the speakers backfired and filled your ears with a loud screeching.  You clamped your hands over your ears and fell to the ground weakly.  The crowd roared with screaming girls as you felt two arms scoop you up and run you off the stage.

Cold water was splashed down your arms as you were laid down on a blanket on the ground.  You gasped desperately and clutched onto Harry’s bicep.

“Harry,” you whimpered, looking up at him.

“It’s okay baby, I’m here, you’re gunna be okay,” he stroked your hair softly, holding a bottle of water in his other hand.  His eyes were filled with concern.  His eyebrows furrowed together.

“Harry…  I can’t breathe,”  he looked around, realising people had heard about what happened, and crowds were beginning to form behind the fences.  He moved around to block them from your sight, and so his back was turned.  Girls were chanting Harry’s name and screaming for him as he looked after you.  It filled him with anger.

“Babe I’m taking you to the bus, okay?”  You nodded weakly, letting tears fall down your cheeks.

He scooped you up and carried you all the way back to the bus, whispering to you the whole time, feeling your limbs shake in his arms.  When you finally arrived, he laid you down on top of your bed and looked at you.  

“What can I do?” he asked, pushing his hair out of his face.

“I don’t know,” you whispered, covering your face with your hands as it crumpled and you broke down into huge sobs that racked your whole body.  

“Baby,” he whispered, lying down beside you and stroking your hair.  “You did so well, you’re doing amazing gorgeous, you’ve lived through every single panic attack you’ve ever had, and this one is no different, yeah? You’re safe now.”

You took more shaky breaths and removed your hands.  You looked up at the ceiling with little emotion in your eyes, the only indication of your sadness being the redness in your cheeks and the occasional tremble of your bottom lip.  You were totally exhausted, physically and emotionally.  

After what seemed like an eternity, Harry spoke.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” You sighed and hesitated.

“I just didn’t feel right going into it, and I just felt so awful, and then it was so loud and so hot and then my sight went all fuzzy and my ears were ringing and everything went wrong.”  You took a breath as your lip started wobbling harder.  

“I’ve never seen one that bad babe, I should have been there, you should have texted me and I’d have been there.” 

“I want to be able to do this!”

“Darling, I’m not sure you’re ready for it, mentally-”

“No!” you sat up, suddenly very frustrated.  “I had to beg you and my manager and prove I was ready for this, I can’t lose it now.”  A lump formed in your throat and tears prickled your eyes again.  “This is my dream,”  Harry sat up beside you and dried your tears with his shirtsleeve.  

“I know it’s your dream, but you were really thrust into this world and it is scary!”  He moved some hair out of your face and tucked it behind your ear.  You pressed your cheek into his palm, allowing his large hand to give you some comfort.  He sighed softly.  “I think you should take a few days off, allow yourself to slow down a little.  I can talk to management if you want?”

You looked up at him with your big, glassy eyes.  He raised his eyebrows, as if to ask you “what do you think?”.  You nodded.  

“Okay,” you whispered.  With that, he pulled you up into his lap and kissed your forehead.  You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and nestled your face into his neck.  Harry’s fingertips traced up and down your back softly, the cool metal of his rings grazing against your hot skin every so often.  “Can you talk to him later though?  I don’t want to be alone,” dimples appeared in Harry’s cheeks as he smiled softly. 

“Of course baby, you wanna cuddle?”  You nodded back to him, already feeling sleepy (probably the exhaustion from the anxiety), and allowed Harry to lay you down on your side.  A strong and familiar chest pressed to your back and a tattooed arm snaked around your side, and the long fingers laced with yours.  A soft kiss was pressed to your shoulder.  “I love you, my brave, brave, girl.”

[scared-aquarius]

signs as haunted places in Pennsylvania

(This post is part of a series where I assign haunted places from each state to the signs)

Aries: Fort Mifflin, Philadelphia PA- Built by the British in 1771 to protect the city of Philadelphia, it was in American hands during the Revolutionary War. In 1777, the British basically destroyed their own handiwork as they blasted cannonballs though the fort walls, an estimated 1000 rounds every 20 minutes. About 250 men were killed at the fort. However, the fort never surrendered. It was rebuilt 20 years after the war and served as a garrison during the War of 1812 and a prison during the Civil War. Nowadays, it is used as a site for war reenactments. There is supposedly a ghost who resides on the second floor on the fort, known as the lamplighter. This is the spirit of the man who would light the oil lamps every evening. People who claim to see him describe him as a pale and barely discernible figure carrying an oil lamp. There is also the spirit of a woman known as “The Screaming Woman”, who is often heard in the Officer’s Quarters. Heard countless times with such volume, the Philadelphia police have even been called out on numerous occasions only to find no woman on the grounds. Many believe the woman is screaming at the loss of her husband during the war. The woman is often identified as Elizabeth Pratt. In Casement 5, there have been reports of seeing a faceless man. One of the stranger encounters people have had is an entity known as the “tour guide”, who while dressed in period clothing, has been mistaken for an actual tour guide. This spirit supposedly has given tours to unsuspecting guests when no actual guides had been scheduled to be present. In addition to these apparitions, there have been accounts of people smelling burning wood and bread baking as well as hearing disembodied voices and feeling like they are being pushed or touched.

Taurus: Black Powder Tavern, Wayne PA- This historic inn was founded in 1746 and served as a respite for stagecoach travelers heading westward as well as a rendezvous point for some famous American leaders such as Marquis de Lafayette and even George Washington himself. It is believed that during the infamous winter of 1777, military figure Friedrich Von Steuben used the tavern to hide secret stashes of gunpowder (black powder) for army messengers. Throughout the Revolutionary War, it provided soldiers with food, shelter and cheer. Today, the building still stands as a functioning restaurant and houses many unknown spirits- perhaps soldiers who died and found comfort in the place they felt safe and happy. Some are believed to be the spirits of those who died in the Duffy’s Cut massacre in 1832. Duffy’s Cut is a stretch of railroad tracks that run near the tavern where the bodies of 57 Irish immigrant railroad workers were found. Many died due to a cholera outbreak however forensic evidence shows that some may have been murdered due to fear of the cholera spreading. Both customers and workers alike claim to hear disembodied footsteps as well as seeing unexplained flashes of light and feeling sudden cold spots. There is a ghost of an innkeeper named Mary from the Victorian era who sometimes messes up newly set tables as well as the ghost of a teenage girl and her cat who have been seen at the top of the stairs and is known to haunt the second floor. Workers claim they cannot leave running clocks upstairs because she drains the batteries and often times she will leave pennies lying around even after the workers claim they had just cleaned the area. One woman even claims that she heard someone run down the stairs after closing, and thinking it was her coworker, thought nothing of it- however she later found out her coworker had left 20 minutes earlier and she was the last person in the building.

Gemini: Woodfield Manor, Cresco PA- This building, founded in 1808 and located in the Pocono Mountains, was originally an exclusive hunting club and a stage stop for the wealthy. It was expanded into a resort under new ownership in the 1950s, with a swimming pool and tennis courts being added. Although this may seem like a romantic and relaxing getaway resort, for decades guests and employees alike have experienced strange happenings inside the hotel. Many claim there is a spirit of a woman who haunts to building. Employees have said they have seen an apparition of her in the reception hall. One specific worker says that he believes the woman is the previous owner as he had seen an old photograph of her and was shocked to find out that woman he had seen in the reception hall had the same face as the woman in the photograph. The spirit, however, is a benevolent one. She is actually known to be helpful. One employee claims that when she went to a room to put up curtains, she realized she didn’t have any. However, she felt drawn to room 27, and when she got there, there were curtains laying out on top of the bed ready for use. However, not all of the spirits are friendly. One of the first owners of the building was a woman who drowned her two children in the bathtub. Room 13 is supposedly the most haunted room, where objects will suddenly move or shift, electronic devices malfunction and the sound of running water can be heard when the room is unoccupied.

Cancer: Farnsworth House Inn, Gettysburg PA- Although the exact date is unclear, this building is thought to be built around 1810. During the Civil War, it was used as a makeshift hospital as well as a resting place for Confederate soldiers. During the war, the building was caught in crossfire and the walls still contain about 135 bullet holes. Today, although the inn is still functional as a bed and breakfast, there is a room called the Garrett which is closed off to visitors as it is supposedly too spiritually active. The room was apparently a post for three Confederate sharpshooters during the war and one was shot and killed there. There are claims that the bathroom can sometimes be found full of blood splatters. The lock on the door is known to rattle on its own. Another room upstairs holds a spirit of a man who is constantly is sobbing uncontrollably and can be seen wandering the halls as he holds a child wrapped in a blanket. The cellar is known to hold an apparition of a soldier trying to help a wounded comrade walk. Sometimes a soft singing voice can be heard from the cellar, as well. Other rooms contain strange occurrences as well, such as the McFarland Room which guests claim to contain unusually heavy breathing in their ear. The Schultz Room is known to have a spirit of a nurse who tries to tuck you in at night as well as a spirit of a young boy named Jeremy. The room also supposedly sometimes smells strongly of cigars. There are many online reviews of former guests who claim to have felt being touched during the night and multiple even say they’ve captured reflections of apparitions of the nurse from the Schultz Room after taking a photo. Some skeptics say their beliefs have really been challenged after staying at the Farnsworth house Inn.

Leo: Devil’s Den on Gettysburg Battlefield, Gettysburg PA- The Battle of Gettysburg in 1863 began July 1st and ended on July 3rd. After it was over, approximately 45,515 people were either dead, wounded or missing. The second day of fighting was the bloodiest. It is estimated that during the battle, casualties came at a rate of about 1 per second. One of the areas on the battlefield, nicknamed Devil’s Den, was a ridge with large boulders strewn about. Throughout the 19th century, many people believed that in the crevices of the rocks lived a 15 foot long snake. The snake became known as “The Devil”, and thus the area became known as ”Devil’s Den”. On the second day of battle, approximately 3,235 people were killed or wounded there. The valley surrounding Devil’s Den then became known as the Valley of Death and a creek that ran near Devil’s Den became known as Bloody Run because the creek literally ran red with blood. On July 4th, the heavy rain caused the creek to flood and drowned wounded soldiers who were left behind. Today, Devil’s Den is known as being one of the most active paranormal hotspots in Gettysburg. A frequent sighting in the area is that of a disheveled man. He’s said to be wearing shabby clothing, a floppy hat and also be barefoot. He will walk up to people and say “What you’re looking for is over there,” and he’ll point to Plum Run (Bloody Run). He then promptly disappears, leaving those who have encountered him completely bewildered. People have nicknamed him the “Helpful Hippy”. Another encounter with the spirits of dead soldiers occurred in 1939 and even made its way into the Harrisburg Telegraph newspaper. Someone reported seeing two men walking along the side of the road and they appeared to be injured. The person stopped their car to see if they needed help and noticed that they were carrying rifles and were dressed in stained and bloody old-fashioned military uniforms. The men told the driver that their friend was propped up on a nearby tree and needed help. He walked with the men to the tree and saw a man with a bloody wound to the chest. He told them he’d drive to the nearest gas station and get help. When he got to the gas station, the attendant said don’t bother going back to help; they won’t be there; they are the restless dead of Gettysburg. Apparently this person wasn’t the first who had experienced this strange encounter.

Virgo: Easton Area Public Library, Easton PA- This library was constructed in 1903. When construction started at the site, it was discovered that the thickly wooded and overgrown area they were building upon was actually an old german reformed cemetery with 514 graves. In order for construction to continue, they had to move the graves- and while many family members were able to claim the corpses, about 30 remained unclaimed. The remains of the 30 unknown bodies were unceremoniously dumped into a large cement vault which basically became a large unmarked mass grave. As additions were added onto the library, the mass grave was paved over in order to create the parking lot. Even today, you can see an indentation in the pavement which shows where the grave lies. A prominent figure however had her grave moved to a more respectable plot on the  grounds. Elizabeth Bell Morgan, known as “Mammy” Morgan, was a Quaker from Philadelphia who married a physician who also specialized in law. After her husband’s death, she inherited his law books and many would travel to her for legal advice until her own death in 1839. For decades, workers claim to see her wandering the library grounds. The second floor is supposedly the most haunted where filing cabinets can be heard violently rattling as well as doors slamming in the early morning as employees enter to open for the day. Workers also claim that sometimes while stacking books, they feel someone touching and playing with their hair. One even claims she witnessed a doorknob turn and open right in front of her yet no one else was in the room. However, none of them say they feel threatened by the supposed ghosts, despite the spirits having a reason to be angry as their remains were disturbed and highly disrespected.

Libra: Welles House, Wilkes Barre PA- Built by industrialist Augustus Laning in 1846, this house has seen plenty of death throughout the years. During the time Laning was still the owner, the street the house resided on had a number of odd deaths occur. After building the house, tragedy began to strike Laning. His factories burned to the ground in 1850 and his nephew was killed after a lightning bolt hit the barn he was in. He perished as he was trapped under the carcass of a horse who had been killed in the fire. There was also a report of a man dropping dead in front of the house in the 1850s. From the late 19th century to the mid 20th century, the house had been the location of 2 suicides and 4 other deaths. Over its 160 year history, the house had been rented out over 50 times. For years it was believed to be haunted, however locals didn’t think so until the 1970s when the Bennetts moved in and their reports were brought to light. The family reported there being unexplained bangs and scurrying noises from one end of the house to the other as well as unexplained sudden illnesses and depression. They claimed they would sometimes see the apparition of a well-dressed man and a young girl walking through the doorway and then vanishing. The attic seemed to house an entity that would shriek, moan and cry. They also claimed they would sometimes get scratch marks and they could sometimes hear the sound of heavy footsteps, as if someone wearing heavy boots were walking up and down the upstairs hallway when everyone was downstairs. The house is believed to be the site of a demonic presence.

Scorpio: Carbon County Jail, Jim Thorpe PA- This two-story, fortress-like jail was built in 1869 and was in use up until 1994. This building is home to one of the most famous ghost stories in Pennsylvania. In 1877, a day known as “Black Thursday”, ten men were hanged because they were suspected of being “Molly Maguires”- a 19th century Irish secret society which fought for better treatment and working conditions for Irish immigrant coal miners. Many Irish coal miners had been working in the area and due to the poor conditions, many died from black lung. One of these men, Alexander Campbell, was executed, however he always proclaimed his innocence. Before he was led to the gallows, he left a dirty handprint on his cell (Cell 17) and said it would always remain there as a sign of his innocence- and remain it did. His handprint is still there to this day and people from all over visit the jail to see it for themselves. Despite many attempts to remove it, including trying to wash it off, paint over it, and even build an entirely new wall, the handprint always comes back. A former inmate, Walter “Mountain Main” Rodriguez, was placed in cell 17 by himself after his arrest in connection for the murder of a teenage girl. The inmate had supposedly begged to be moved to different cell out of fear. People who have visited the jail report having their hair being touched and feeling hands on their shoulders.

Sagittarius: Hill View Manor, New Castle PA- Built in 1925, Hill View Manor was originally known as The Lawrence County Home for the Aged, which housed the mentally ill, the poverty-stricken, orphaned children and the elderly whose families had abandoned them. It was practically a dumping ground for society’s outcasts. The heads of the institution, the Snyders, were accused of incompetence at the home in 1944 and resigned. Under new management, in the late 1960s, the building went under renovations and was converted into a skilled nursing facility. However, by 1970 the building was facing severe overcrowding issues. It finally closed in 2004 due to financial problems. Throughout the years that it housed people, many of the inmates died within the walls, most likely due to poor treatment and living conditions, yet some under questionable circumstances. There have also been numerous suicides that occurred on the grounds. There are numerous reports of shadow people being seen peeking around corners. Many claim they have also encountered full-bodied apparitions, flickering lights, mysterious screams and bangs, slamming doors and disembodied voices. In the chapel, an apparition of a doctor dressed in white has been reported. The pedals on the organ there supposedly move on their own and can be heard squeaking as if someone is pressing down on them. On the second floor, there is a stairwell by the women’s cafeteria where an inmate by the name of Angel hung himself. There are reports of extremely cold spots as well as the sound of something dragging across the floor. There are many other rooms in the building said to be haunted, such as Joe Miller’s Room, where people say cigar smoke can often be smelled and a shadow person can be seen. There is also John Robinson’s Room, where an inmate jumped out of the window and died. Loud banging can be heard from this room, some believing it is the sound of the window flying open or shut. There is also an old boiler room which is said to be haunted by a man named Eli Sorry, who became inebriated and passed out. Other inmates dragged him into the boiler room and shoved him under the stairs where he later died from either intoxication or exposure. Some claim they hear moaning and coughing in this area as well as feeling suddenly cold. Flashlights also apparently turn on and off in this area. These are just a few accounts of hauntings within the building. The structure currently sits abandoned at the top of a grassy hill above highway 65.

Capricorn: Moravian College, Bethlehem PA- Moravian College was founded in 1742 and is the sixth oldest college in the United States. Before being known as the liberal-arts college that it is today, it’s gone through its periods of transitions. There is a building on campus called the Brethren’s House, which currently serves as the music and art building, however it was converted into a hospital during the Revolutionary War and supposedly has its fair share of ghostly residents. One encounter happened in 2016 where a girl took her boyfriend (a non-believer of the supernatural) to Brethren’s House to do some ghost hunting. She did not expect much to happen and figured he would stay skeptical. After exploring the second floor with not much luck, they decided to head back down to the first floor. As they headed down the first floor hallway, they both heard an extremely loud rumbling noise coming from above them; so loud that they couldn’t hear each other speak. She claims it sounded as if 50 people were running up and down the upstairs hallway. They both ran out the door into the Main Hall. After confiding in a friend about the experience, she told her that she had the same experience and so had others. The sound was known on campus as the nurses from the Revolutionary War desperately running up and down the hallways with gurneys. Another haunted building on campus is Comenius Hall, where a nurse is said to haunt it and is aggressive towards anyone who is on her territory. There are often technological malfunctions and unexplained scratching and banging can frequently be heard. One incident happened during a Halloween haunted tour where a worker was in the basement to turn off the lights for a group that was coming up. He made three attempts to turn off the lights however they kept flipping back on. He gave up and headed back upstairs. As the tour guide led the party towards the basement, a guide dog within the group started signaling danger and seemed to be desperately trying to keep its owner from going forward. Although there was no visible danger, it simply refused to enter the basement. Afterwards however, no one on the tour claimed to notice anything suspicious. These are just two examples of paranormal experiences that have happened on campus. There are other buildings known to be haunted, one called Rau Dormitory, where 3 people hung themselves in the 1960s. The music building, a sorority as well as a couple other dormitories are known to be haunted as well. Endless amounts of detailed paranormal experiences from students and visitors alike can be found online. There is no doubt that there is something more to Moravian College than meets the eye.

Aquarius: Mishler Theatre, Altoona PA- This theatre was built in 1906 and was named after its owner, Isaac Charles Mishler. Not even a year later, the neighboring building caught fire which quickly spread to the theatre and destroyed the interior. It was rebuilt and reopened in 1907. Over the past few decades, it has gained attention due to the supposed hauntings. Many claim they have seen the ghost of the late Isaac Mishler wandering the building as well as walking through a wall where the door to his office used to be, all while leaving a trail of cigar smoke. Some claim you can sometimes see a trail of smoke rising up from one of the seats in the audience even whole no one else is in the theatre. One specific testimony comes from a now 12 year old girl, whose encounter happened when she was only 2 years old. Her mother used to work at the theatre and would sometimes bring her along to work. She recalls sharing fun times with a man in “funny hats” while her mother set up lights and sound equipment. She said sometimes he would show up in a floppy hat and other times a tall black hat. He would talk to her about his love of theatre and they’d go for walks around the set. When she described what the man had looked like, the description matched Isaac Mishler. Perhaps his love for theatre was so strong that he decided to stay, even after death. Two other supposed spirits are that of a woman who haunts the restroom and a dog who can be heard howling throughout the day and night. 

Pisces: Providence Quaker Cemetery and Chapel, Perryopolis PA- Dating back to 1789, this cemetery was founded by Quaker pioneers and today is known to be associated with strange occurrences and curses. It was once a spot used to execute those believed to be witches as well as a place to practice black magic. Dark spirits are now said to haunt the grounds as a result. In the center of the cemetery is a small stone church where a spirit is said to reside. People who have entered report feeling extremely cold, hearing disembodied footsteps and getting a heavy feeling in their chest when they are inside. The cemetery also has its share of spirits. There are two unknown entities who haunt the yard and will push people down if they dare disrespect the graves. One of the gravestones in the cemetery supposedly holds a curse. The gravestone is that of Ella Mae Lynch, whose inscription reads “Remember youth as you go by, as you are now, so once was I, as I am now, so you shall be, beware for death and follow me.” Many believe the inscription indicates that reading it curses you to die in the same manner as Lynch herself. In 1980, a man reported driving past the cemetery and having his car chased by a large black dog. However, once he passed the grounds the dog had completely vanished.

New Jersey

(Let me know what state I should research next...)

[prettytoxicrevolver]

Gone | Zach Herron

Requested? Yup! Hope you like it anon :) 

Warnings? Angst, death, talk of injuries, swearing

Word Count: 1,209 

I’m gonna be totally honest and real right now, my grandpa passed away recently and I wrote this maybe a day or two later and I cried writing the ending. 

“Hah! Suck it!” You yell in triumph. “You’re cheating!” Your twin brother Zach yells. “No way lil bro. I’m just the queen of this game.” You were currently at the Why Don’t We House for board game night. You and the boys had a tradition that every Friday night was either movie night or game night. Tonight was your favorite, game night. Growing up, you and your twin brother Zach always played board games together and you were able to master most of them and beat Zach every time. “Okay,” Daniel says standing up. “Break time.” “I gotta go pick up Christina. Anyone want to come?” Corbyn asks standing up next to Daniel. “I’ll go.” Daniel says. “Me too, I need a break.” Jack says. “I’ll be here.” Jonah responds. “I’ll join. You coming sis?” Zach asks you. “Nah I’ll stay here with Jonah.” Zach shrugs his shoulders and leans down to do your signature handshake before saying goodbye and heading out with the rest of the boys. Being twins, you and Zach were extremely close. During your school years the two of you mostly hung out with each other and shared the same friends. When he started his singing career you were with him every step of the way. After the guys left to get Christina, you and Jonah were relaxing in the living room together. You sit across from each other on the couch, talking about nothing and everything. You would check the time every once in awhile and when you saw that the boys had been gone for about an hour, you decided to call Zach. You stand up from your position on the couch and dial Zach’s number. It goes straight to voicemail causing you to give a look of confusion. You decide to call Daniel just in case but when you hear his phone ring in the room over, you shrug your shoulders and hang up. You sit back down next Jonah and try to shrug off the bad feeling that seemed to come over you. Another hour later and you still hasn’t heard anything. Just as you’re about to pick up your phone and try calling Zach again, your phone rings. You notice Corbyns contact and you smile at the goofy picture of you and him set as his picture. “Hey Corb!” You greet him with a bit of relief that one of the guys finally called you. “(y/n)?” Corbyns voice sounded worried? Scared? You couldn’t place it. And then you heard it. Sirens. Suddenly the bad feeling grew a million times and the worst thoughts ran through your head. Jonah’s staring at you with a worried expression as a hand flies to your mouth. “Zach’s been in an accident.” Corbyn says carefully, not too sure of the words himself. “You gotta get down here.” Your phone slips from your hand and tears immediately start rolling down your cheeks. Jonah takes a step forward, placing a hand on your shoulder. “(y/n/n), what’s wrong? What happened?” “Zach he and the- Corbyn and Daniel I-“ You couldn’t form a coherent thought all you could think about is how you wanted to see your brother. “Hospital. We need to get to the hospital.” You finally choke out. Jonah grabs his keys and the two of you head out as quickly as possible. Tears pour down your cheeks and you’re heaving loud sobs by the time you get to the hospital. Jonah hops out of the car first and you follow as quickly as possible. He heads straight for the front desk and asks them about Zach. They tell him that he’s in surgery now but he’s lost a lot of blood. Instinctively you grab onto Jonah’s arm, something steady to keep you grounded. “What-“ You start to ask through a hiccup. “What about the other boys?” Jonah then turns and asks about the other boys and the receptionist gives us their room number but no other information. You race up to the room as quick as possible and when you enter your hand flies to your mouth once more. Jack lays in bed, completely unconscious with a huge bandage wrapped around his head, a black eye, and cuts littering his cheeks. You look around the room and see Daniel and Corbyn standing by Jacks bed. Once Daniel sees you, he’s up in a flash, arms around your waist comforting you in the tightest hug you had ever received. Something you definitely needed right now. “(y/n).” He whispers. “I’m sorry.” You could tell he was crying now too. “I’m so sorry.” Now you were crying again and you could feel another pair of arms wrap around you. You look up to see Corbyn and Jonah hugging you and Daniel comforting each of you. After letting go, Daniel and Corbyn explain the crash to you and Jonah. Apparently Daniel was driving and the car was crazy, loud music and the boys talking loudly. Daniel had gotten distracted and ran a red light, causing someone to T-bone them and the car to flip. After that everything was a blur to them. Eventually, you all take seats around Jack and fall into silence. When Christina finally arrives at the hospital Corbyn and her talk quietly while Jonah snoozes lightly next to you. “Remember the first time Jack tried to teach Zach how to skateboard?” Daniel whispers to you and a smile spreads across your face. “He whined about that cut on his knee for a week.” “Or how whenever we play board games he always claims you cheat.” Daniel jokes and your smile widens. “Which I don’t. Or how he can literally fall asleep anywhere, it’s like a super power.” Daniel is just about to open his mouth and remind you of something else that Zach does but is interrupted by a knock on the door. You look up and see what you assume to be a doctor walk through the door. “Ms. Herron?” She asks and you stand up from your chair. “Yes?” You ask. Just as the doctor takes a step towards you, Daniel takes your hand in his intertwining your fingers for comfort. “I’m sorry to say this but your twin Zach, has passed away. There was too much blood loss and we couldn’t do much more. I’m so sorry.” With that, the doctor walks out of the room and you’re left standing there trying to process. “(y/n).” Corbyn says walking over to you. “Not my Z.” You whisper quietly. “There’s no way not my twin.” You look over at Daniel to see tears cascading down his cheeks making your heart crack just a bit more. You shake your head no, turning back to Corbyn who gives you a sympathetic look. “No.” You say defiantly. “Not Zach no! He’s gonna walk in any second and it’ll be okay. Tell me it’ll be okay.” By this point your sobbing loudly and Corbyn pulls you into a tight embrace. “He was gonna tour the world! And we were supposed to grow up and he was supposed to meet my kids and take care of them and oh god-“ You push your face further into Corbyns chest as you heave large sobs. “Not my Zach.”