#she likes the way that she drives ted to lose control here in a way she knows he's never done before those lines of his so clear

[professortennant]

Their first kiss happens in the locker room in Manchester after a surprising, underdog win for AFC Richmond (though perhaps she should start reevaluating what is and is not surprising when it comes to the Ted Lasso coaching method). 

The boys are rowdy, jumping up and down, cheering and chanting and spraying water, sports drink, and a few stray bottles of beer like they’ve just won the bloody World Cup and not just another league match. 

But the energy of it is infectious. Now that she cares about the future of this time, now that she’s not working to actively destroy it--after all, it would be all the sweeter to take Rupert’s team all the way to the championships, a feat he could never manage, and then bar him from participating in club celebrations--she finds herself all the more invested and engaged. 

(She actually blocks out the thirty minutes in her calendar every morning with Ted and finds herself tucking her hair back behind her ear, eyes flicking to the office door as their time draws nearer, a strange fluttering of nerves and excitement at the prospect of being the center of Ted’s overeager focus.)

So in this dirty, sticky, smelly locker room, the air crackling with exuberance and excitement, she doesn’t overthink the impulse to grab Ted’s hand, yank him into the away team’s office, away from prying eyes, and press her mouth to his, both of them still smiling into the kiss, maybe neither of them as swept up in the moment as she believed.

It’s the exact outlet for all of this emotion that she needs, every feeling concentrated in the electric touch of his mouth to hers, her tongue sliding ever so tentatively against his, letting him share this moment with her. They break apart to gulp breath and that should be the end of it--just one little kiss. But he surges back against her, mouth covering hers, teeth tugging at her bottom lip and his tongue sweeping across the sting of pain to soothe it. Her fingers dance across his jawline and her nails scratch at the base of his neck, itching to bury themselves into the thick, floppy hair that’s teased her since he arrived in her office. His fingertips burn a mark into her hip, pulling her closer, and she just about stops herself from sinking too far into the kiss before pulling away, breathless and grinning.

Ted looks shellshocked, eyes still closed and his hand heavy on her hip. Beyond the office door, they can still hear the Richmond team chant, whoops and hollers and then the sound of music blaring.

“Wow,” he finally says, eyes flickering open and looking dazed in a way that makes Rebecca feel immensely proud. She’s still got it. “Listen, if this is a new employer-employee incentive program for winning, I gotta say, I’m all for it.”

She bites her lip and looks down, forces herself to step back, shaking her head ruefully. “I’m sorry, that was wildly inappropriate of me. I just got caught up in the moment. It absolutely won’t happen again. I apologize.”

It’s an out, she knows it is. From the slight head tilt he gives her, hazel eyes gentle and appraising, he knows it, too.

“No harm, no foul,” he agrees, putting extra space between them and reaching for the office door, ready to rejoin his team. He stops, fingertips on the doorknob and turns back to her. “But I gotta say, boss, feel free to get caught up in the moment with me any time.” He winces, wrinkles his nose. “Nope, nope, that sounded better in my head but came out a lot creepier than I intended, like that one time at homecoming when Ms. Fisher told me--”

She laughs, reaches for him--a gentle press of her hand to his arm--and the motion stops his rambling. "Go join your team, Coach Lasso.”

His eyes drop to her lips, just obvious enough that she notices and it makes her suck in a breath of anticipation. She could blame her kiss on excitement, but if he reached for her now, if he cupped her cheek and drew her back to him, she would be lost with no excuse and only the truth: She wants Ted Lasso. 

But he doesn’t reach for her, seems to sense her fear, gives her the space he suspects she needs right now.

“See you tomorrow, boss.”

She watches him go and leans back against the door, a hand pressing to her stomach to soothe the fluttering of nerves. 

She is unbelievably fucked.

[spooderboyandtincan]

You're Gonna Miss Me When I'm Gone

Chapter 2

There’s a spider on the ceiling.

Peter can barely make out its eight gangly legs through a blur of tears. He feels some sort of bond with it- not only because of the DNA they share- but because they’re both alone. Then again, the spider has probably spent its entire life in this room, and Peter’s only been here- on a whole different continent- for a good couple of hours.

Maybe it’s just the jet lag. According to literally anyone who’s known him at all- he gets adorably grumpy when he hasn’t gotten his beauty sleep (Tony’s words, not his.)

Who does he think he’s kidding? He’s homesick, he’s alone, and he really, really misses Tony. Misses him as in the his heart is literally being torn apart sort of missing. He wishes he’d considered how his severe separation anxiety might play a part in this when he’d still had a choice.

Peter chokes on a whine- the one that forces its way out of his throat until he’s full on sobbing and gasping for breath.

He scrambles for his phone on the nightstand. He needs Tony, he needs him, like a fish needs water. He fumbles with the lock screen and desperately taps on Tony’s icon (a picture of Tony holding a proudly displaying a mug that reads “Number 1 Iron Dad.”) It rings once, twice-

“Pete? How’s it going, kiddie?” Tony’s voice, so gentle, so full of love and concern- he already knows something’s wrong, of course, because his Dad Senses are off the charts- makes the tear in his heart rip open.

“Tony,” he sobs. “Tony. I don’t- I can’t, I can’t do this. I wanna go home, Tony.”

“Whoa, hey, it’s okay Petey, breathe for me okay?” He can hear, just barely over his sobs, that Tony is pacing, can hear that his breathing is just a bit too fast, and Peter feels awful for freaking him out, but just can’t stop crying.

“‘M so sorry,” he wails, “‘M so sorry. I-I wanna go home, I want you Tony.” He grasps his pillow tightly and buries his face in it, trying to stifle his sobs, pretending that Tony is there, wrapping his arms around him, kissing his hair, rocking them back and forth.

“I know, baby, I know,” Tony croons, “Everything’s gonna be okay, we’re okay. Right now I just need you to take a deep breath, buddy- in, two-three, out, two-three, okay?” Tony demonstrates for him, taking exaggerated inhales and exhales, which are probably benefiting him as much as they are Peter. “You’ve got this, Pete, I know you do.”

“I miss you, Tony,” Peter whispers after a few seconds of shaky breathing. “I wanna go home.” He feels so immature, begging Tony to fly across the Atlantic in the dead of night just because he’s a little homesick.

Tony, however, seems to consider his request very seriously. “Do you want me to fly out? I could be there in a few hours.”

Peter almost laughs, imagining Tony arriving to the hotel at daybreak, dressed only in sweatpants and a stained AC/DC t-shirt. It’s actually not a bad idea- Tony could act as a chaperone, they could explore the city together, make another precious memory.

“Yeah, um, that-that would be great, Tony,” he sniffs, wiping the wetness of his cheeks. “A-are you sure? I don’t wanna, like, make you, there’s probably Iron, um, Iron Man things, I don’t-”

“Pete, listen to me,” Tony interrupts, voice again so impossibly gentle. “Nothing- nothing- is more important to me than you, understand? I’m here for you. Always”

Peter smiles wetly, relaxing back into the covers, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. “I know. Tony?”

“Yeah, bud?

“Can-can you, um, talk? Please?”

“‘Course I can, Pete. What about?” Tony says fondly. The idea that his voice can bring such comfort to this sweet kid makes him feel all… schmoopy.

“Anything. I just… wanna hear your voice, s’all.” He tugs the covers up and curls into a ball, resting the phone on the pillow next to his ear.

“I’ve got you, bud,” Tony says. I miss you too. “Oh, you’ve gotta know what DUM-E did today….”

Peter feels himself relaxing as Tony talks about his day. It’s not just the words that soothe him, but the familiar sound of his warm voice that’s full of such love and affection. His thoughts begin to wander as he drifts into a barely conscious haze, but the voice remains steady and present in his mind.

Tony is quick to notice that Peter is on the precipice of slumber and wakefulness, and is just as quick to provide the last bit of reassurance Peter needs to fall asleep. “Sweet dreams, buddy. I love you,” he murmurs.

Just before Peter slips away, he finds himself slurring, “Love you too.”

Tony stays on the call for a solid ten minutes after Peter conks out, listening to the steady whoosh of his breathing against the speaker. Before he finally makes himself hang up, he whispers a quiet, “‘Night, Petey. I’ll be there before you know it.” Tony leaves for the airport at daybreak, not able to spend another second in that horribly empty penthouse. The absence of Peter’s presence is tremendously obvious, and Tony finds himself desperately trying not to imagine the unimaginable.

~~~~~

With a pilot on-call 24-7, and without the hassles of a public airport, he’ll be back with Peter around early afternoon.

Thank god.

He steps out of the Cadillac, barely noticing the blistering wind and the tiny snowflakes biting at his cheeks in his haste to board the plane. He greets the pilot- Allison, he thinks- with a nod, but she gestures to stop when he moves towards the stairs.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Stark!” she says over the howling wind. “We just can’t fly in this weather!”

To hell with that, Tony thinks. “When’s it letting up?”

“I’m terribly sorry, Mr. Stark,” Allison says apologetically. “Not for a few days at least.”

Tony activates the suit with a simple tap of his watch, the nanobots rushing over him within seconds. Allison gasps and jumps back, gaping as he rockets into the air.

He’s been flying for a good 50 seconds before a neon red warning lights up the HUD.

“Boss,” F.R.I.D.A.Y says, tone filled with caution. “The wind is blowing at a speed of 78 mph. I must advise that you return to the ground immediately, or you run the risk of losing control of the suit.”

Tony curses loudly. Just his luck, really. “How high is the risk?”

“89%, boss.”

“So, not all that bad,” he chuckles.

Then, F.R.I.D.A.Y reminds him how devastated Peter would be if anything happened to him.

Tony returns to his car on foot and pulls out his phone to call Peter.

~~~~~

Peter basks in the sunlight outside of a bustling café, sipping from a cup of hot chocolate. He’s ordered a chocolate croissant, and added the tasteless protein powder Tony and Bruce had synthesized to keep up with his spidey metabolism to his mug. Despite the jet lag, he’s eager to explore the city and it’s merits, his enthusiasm only growing knowing that Tony will be here within a few hours.

Feeling pleasantly full, Peter leans back in his chair- it’s an armchair, on a stool, and it’s driving him nuts, he loves it- and beams at Ned, who lounges next to him in an identical chair. “Dude,” he says.

“Dude,” Ned agrees.

Peter is grinning, Ned is grinning, the sun is shining, the birds are chirping, life is sweet-

Peter’s phone rings.

His first thought is that Tony’s plane has crashed.

His second is one of relief when he realizes it’s Tony who’s calling him.

His third is that his plane has crashed, and Tony’s calling him, mortally wounded, to say goodbye.

Ned stares at him, taking in the panicked look on his face, and mouths You good? Peter shakes his head and scrabbles for his phone.

“Pete?” Tony says as soon as he’s answered. He sounds fine, at least. “Hiya.”

“Are you okay?” Peter asks first, because he knows that even if Tony sounds like he’s fine, that doesn’t mean he is.

“Yeah. Yeah, Petey, I’m just fine, I promise,” Tony assures him. Peter relaxes in his chair, flashing Ned a quick thumbs up, because knows Tony would never lie to him, especially not if he was hurt. “How’re you doin’?”

Peter’s face lights up. “Oh, great! There are like, dogs everywhere here, even in the restaurants, and I saw this German Shepherd eating like- dog ice cream or something? And I got this super good chocolate croissant where we’re having breakfast. Y’know, I really thought the jet lag would be super bad but I’m not like, tired at all yet!”

“Aw, buddy, that’s great, I’m glad you’re havin’ a good time,” Tony says, voice dripping with fondness. “You’re drinking enough water, staying hydrated and all that, right?”

“Yup! Are you?”

Tony scoffs. “‘Course I am. Hafta set a good example n’ shi- stuff.” Peter snorts. He knows Tony does his best not to curse around his- and he quotes- “young, unsullied ears" but he ends up failing quite a lot.

“Which reminds me bud, how’s Ted?” Peter’s best friend’s health has pretty much no correlation with cursing, which makes the teen think that Tony has a specific reason for asking about him. He decides not to bring it up though.

“It’s Ned,” he sighs in mock frustration. And he’s good, he’s right next to me! I guess I didn’t tell you yesterday, but the hotel guy put us into two different rooms ‘cause they had extra or something and we didn’t realize ‘til we got to our rooms.” He sighs again then, for real, his good mood evaporating.

Tony’s Dad Senses pick up on it instantaneously. “Not ideal, huh?” he says gently, which earns him a small laugh from the kid. “D’you want me to talk to them?”

Peter nods sheepishly, then realizes Tony can’t see him. “Yeah. Thank you,” he says in a small voice, embarrassed that the genius is going to all this trouble just because he’s a little lonely. “Are you gonna be here soon?” he asks then, because he misses Tony, misses him just like he knows Tony is missing him.

Tony clears his throat. When he speaks, the guilt in his voice could rip him in half. “About that, buddy, well- Jesus, Pete, I’m so sorry. The, uh, the wind is too dangerous for me to fly over, and it’s not letting up ‘til around Monday. I’m so sorry, kiddo.”

Peter’s heart sinks. “Oh,” he says numbly.

He hears Tony lurch up. “Hey, Petey- shit, I’m so sorry, buddy. I- you know what, fuck it, I’ll fly over anyway, I-”

“No! No, I’m okay, I’m fine!” Peter says, wincing silently at the forced cheeriness in his voice, and knowing that Tony has seen right through.

“Hey, hey, buddy, it’s okay, I’ll be perfectly safe-”

“You can’t,” Peter pleads, desperate to keep Tony safe. “Please, Tony, you can’t, you’ll crash, or-”

“Whoa, Petey, deep breaths,” Tony interrupts, voice gentle. “I’m right here, I’m fine, you hear me?” He waits for Peter’s breathing to resume a steady rate, then says, “Bub, I won’t fly over if it’s not safe, I promise.”

Peter sighs. He’s relieved beyond belief that Tony is keeping both feet on the ground where he’ll be safe- he better be- but he misses the billionaire more than ever.

“And hey, who knows, maybe the wind’ll let up in a few hours!” Tony chuckles. Sobering a little, he says, “If the weather is on schedule, I’ll be there on Monday, 6 am, sharp.”

Peter prays he will. “I miss you, Tony,” he mumbles- he feels childish, knowing that he’s just begged the man to stay in New York, and now is just making him more miserable knowing that he’s miserable.

“I miss you too, Petey,” the genius murmurs back, voice filled with sorrow.

“Peter!” The phone nearly flies out of Peter’s hand as Mr. Harrington taps on his shoulder. He gasps a little, and though his teacher doesn’t seem to notice, Tony sure does, his gentle voice turning harsh with barley contained panic. “Who was that, Pete? Are you okay?”

“Um-” he tries.

“Come on, now! The bus is almost here, I can see it around the corner!” Mr. Harrington says loudly, and abruptly struts off, frantically waving down the bus that is already stopping.

“Peter!” Tony exclaims.

“I’m fine, I’m fine, it was just Mr. Harrington,” he rushes to reassure him. Tony breathes out a heavy sigh of relief. “Uh, the bus is here, I- I have to go.” He hurries to catch up with his best friend.

“I love you,” Tony says. “I love you so much, Pete, stay out of trouble, be safe.”

He doesn’t want to say goodbye. Neither of them do.

“I love you, Tony,” says Peter. “I’ll be safe, don’t worry about me!”

And with that, the call ends.

[chainofclovers]

Ted Lasso 2x1 thoughts

Running out of time to capture my thoughts on 2x1 specifically before 2x2 airs, so here's a mess of things I thought about in response to the season 2 premiere. (Heavily informed by conversations w/my wife and some friends and family both within and without the fandom, discord conversations, things I've read on tumblr, reviews in the press, and, yes, my own little brain when it's alone.)

I really liked it (actually, I loved it)

Because a lot of people--myself included--binged s1 in a single go, I think a lot of people came away from that (beautiful almost perfect) season of TV with a sense that it was just this continuous five-hour explosion of feelings-y goodness with a very clear thesis statement: Make The Audience Happy. But obviously there's a lot of complicated stuff being set up within those five hours of TV, with intentional dividing lines and transitions between the episodes. I know some people watched 2x1 and felt frustrated because it didn't "feel like Ted Lasso" but I didn't feel that way. What I did feel, by contrasting 2x1 with all of s1, is that the atmosphere in s1 wasn't so much an audience-centric feel-good make-em-laugh kind of thing so much as a reflection of the gradual feeling of settling into home as Ted finds his place in Richmond and at AFC Richmond and in letting go of things (marriage) for the first time, and Rebecca, who's majority owner of the damn club but doesn't have a place within it, goes on a parallel community-locating journey. So the intensely warm, comfortable, feelings-y viewing experience is really just a reflection of what it was feeling like for pretty much every character with the exception of Rupert and Bex to carve out a more comfortable, honest, warm place for themselves.

But the challenges of relegation, the specters of the past, the longing any character (any human) has for more, and the mental health issues that come along for the ride meant that 2x1 needed to feel uncomfortable. They create that atmosphere by riddling 2x1 with so many jokes and references that it feels chaotic, overstuffed. The football season isn't going horribly, but it's WEIRD, and everyone is uncomfortable, and Ted doesn't know how to deal with the discomfort within himself so he's relying on the things he knows: references, anecdotes, strung-together wisdom. He clearly plans the Hank-the-dog speech in advance of the press conference, and the tongue-in-cheek "wow, this is so profound" expressions on the journalists' faces are hilarious to me because it's like we're watching them react to a man who's about to lose it and is in the final moments of being able to control the narrative about his team before someone from the outside will have to come in.

I'm obsessed with a tag @ratherembarrassing put on a TL reblog: "This is a show of soliloquies." I loved Ted's manufactured yet thematically necessary speech. I loved that Rebecca basically blacks out at a coffeeshop and tells John all about the messages (harmful or at least profoundly still-in-progress) she's been processing about intimacy and safety. [Side note: it's so perfect that she's still afraid to feel safe. It's like, "If I feel safe, what am I missing about the situation that's going to come back to hurt me?" OOOOF.] I feel like these moments where characters kind of speechify and the audience matters but the audience also does not matter just reflect the overall atmospheric stuff the show does. Like, it's more important to make us feel how it feels than to construct a moment of hyper-realistic dialogue. I get why it can be jarring but I'm into it.

The dog. Welp. A dog died right away. The special effects looked weird. I love dogs, I'm not a monster, but I was also just...not emotionally torn up about Earl at all. It's a catalyst. It's a very quick way to kind of bloop the entire world of Ted Lasso into a skewed and uncomfortable place where these characters absolutely need to reside until they can figure out how to attend to their own mental health and healing with the same focus and compassion they apply to their friendships with other people.

I'm obsessed with how much everything is going to HURT. Like, Ted walked in and Rebecca said she wished he was Keeley and then she didn't start eating the biscuits right away?!?

The biscuits are such an emotional crutch in s1 and SO MUCH of Rebecca's headspace is taken up with destroying something Ted is starting to love, destroying Ted, but also being there for him and feeling seen by him in a truly unique way, so I kind of love the psychic shift here, where all this emotional stuff has happened between them but to move forward they're going to have to learn some new conversational skills. Like girl talk.

The nail polish. I love everyone. I love the nail polish. I love that Ted was late to practice because of it. I love how much he wants other people to need him because it's so clear that he got his feelings hurt like 30 times in 2x1 and doesn't even fully realize it.

I love Dr. Sharon Fieldstone. I love that everyone but Ted very clearly understands the value of having a sports psychologist around. I love that her introduction is not about having to sell the players on the fact that they should talk to someone, but rather about Ted's discomfort over his own leadership abilities and the conflict this could create. It's so good. I'm so excited about it.

Beard and Ted in the pub! All people are different people! Ahhhhhh! Thank God For Beard (TGFB). TGFB is probably going to be my personal motto while watching this season of adorable and emotionally wrenching and ambitious television.

OK, I feel better now that I have this chaotic list out of my brain and onto tumblr. Should that make me feel better? I do not know. I do know that I'll probably try to do this for every episode because watching it week by week is going to drive me insane and I would really like to have some kind of record of the distinct-to-episodes yet cumulative viewing experience before I'm able to take in the full season (and the full series so far) as a whole.

[firstdegreefangirl]

If you are open to Ted Lasso requests, then Roy Kent/Keeley Jones + sickfic and snuggles?

Oh, nonnie, this got WAY out of hand. But I had SO MUCH FUN writing it, so thank you! There's a lot going on at the beginning here, but I swear there are sickfic and snuggles under the break. I hope you like it!

Read the whole thing in one click HERE on ao3!

The morning gets off to a late start, right out of the gate. The team bus leaves late when they lose Nate again (this year they knew to check the luggage hold, but no one thought to look in the upstairs bathroom, where he was “looking for a little extra privacy, sorry”) and there’s more traffic than anyone could have predicted.

Altogether, it means that the team hardly makes it to Sheffield with time to drop their bags at the hotel before they’re due at the stadium for the game.

Roy tosses a duffel bag onto one of the double beds in the room he’s sharing with Ted tonight (not by choice; it turns out relegation means there’s not enough money in the team budget for all four coaches to have separate suites. Last away game, he and Nate had been roommates, but Ted has some big idea about everyone spending equal amounts of time together in the name of ‘equitable morale,’ and apparently coaching staff isn’t exempt.)

Really, he should have taken the job with SkySports.

At least then, he wouldn’t be pulling a furry green unicorn out of his bag and sitting it carefully by the pillows.

“Security object, Roy?” Ted points from across the room as Roy reaches for his phone. “Respect. No shame in a man seeking a little comfort from-”

“Fuck off,” he snaps, but there’s no real heat behind it. “Phoebe’s mad her mum wouldn’t let her come on a sleepover with the team this weekend. Asked me to bring Captain McKibbin along instead, the little idiot. I … promised to send pictures. As proof.”

“Hey, I get it. My boy’s done many a Flat Stanley in his day.” Clearly, Ted expects him to know what this means, so Roy nods if only to save himself the explanation. “Anyway, we’ve got to meet the fellas in the lobby, head over to the field – pitch.” A full year in, and Ted still struggles with the vernacular sometimes. It’d drive Roy nuts, if the guy hadn’t done so much to help him and his career. “Is, ah, will Captain McCarlson be joining us for the-”

“McKibbin. Captain McKibbin, and he will not. Phoebe says he can stay here, to ward off any bad dream monsters.”

“Well you be sure to let her know that I intend to sleep snug as a bug in a rug tonight. No, two rugs!” Tim points at Roy with both hands, then spins around and opens the door to the hallway.

He still hasn’t gotten a chance to catch up with Keeley before the match starts. She and Rebecca had driven out separately – something about girl talk and lattes – but he knows she’s around somewhere. The owner’s box is a little different everywhere they go, but never too terribly hard to find, and he catches a glimpse of her bright pink peacoat when he looks around during the opening lineup. She's sitting between Rebecca and Higgins, and as soon as she notices him watching, she waves happily. He lifts a hand in response, then tucks it back against his chest, turning back to the pitch and squaring his shoulders as the first half begins.

Richmond is playing well; Isaac has stepped up and really filled Roy’s shoes as captain, and all the lads are on the same wavelength, without having to say much of anything to one another. He hates to admit it, but Roy wonders if the seamless communication doesn’t have something to do with the scavenger hunt they’d hosted in the locker room last night. Ted had blindfolded half of the players, and made the other half sit on the bench and shout directions. The whole thing had been a mess, but then they’d passed around the bottle of vodka he’d stashed behind the clean boots as a prize, and everyone had left smiling. If that’s it, Roy can’t deny the results, but he’ll damn sure try.

That’s what he’s thinking about a few minutes later when he turns around again, looking for Keeley in the stands. He’s always looking for her, when he doesn’t have to be watching every second of the match. She’s almost always watching him right back, before he’s even looking at her. And half the time, he’ll feel his phone vibrate in his pocket. Even if he can’t check it until halftime, he knows it’s a comment on the quality of the plays, or the other team’s kits, or how much she likes the view of his ass from the box.

But now, when he looks, he can’t find her anywhere. He looks again, trying to pick her out in the sea of Richmond jerseys. Most of the faces are strangers, but he can distinguish between them. All the way at the top, where Keeley had been sitting before, it’s just Rebecca and Higgins now, an empty seat folded up between them.

Roy stares for a moment, waiting for her to reappear with a soft pretzel or something. But she doesn’t. Eventually, Rebecca catches his eyeline, and shakes her head. Her lips move, but there’s no way Roy can make out the words. All he knows is that Keeley has disappeared, and judging from Rebecca’s gesture, she’s been gone for more than a few minutes.

Something isn’t right; he can feel it in his stomach. And in his knee, but that’s more from the impending winter. The feeling about Keeley, that sits deep in his gut, twisting and knotting around his organs as he turns back to the pitch.

The lads are lining up the next play, but Ted, Nate and Beard are spread out along the sideline. Roy sidesteps around Beard, almost trips over Nate when he moves back just as Roy passes behind him, and finally comes to a stop next to Ted.

"Coach?”

“What’s up, Roy?” Ted doesn’t turn toward him, but he leans in Roy’s direction, and he knows he’s got the man’s full attention.

He hears the announcer take notice of his new position, the commentary echoing around them.

On Richmond’s side of the field, former team member turned coach Roy Kent is vying for the attention of head coach Ted Lasso. The players are lined up; what could he be saying?

But Roy doesn’t say anything. He just points, arms still folded across his chest, until Ted looks up to the stands behind them.

Both coaches now, looking up at the audience. Surely they’re not surprised at the show of support for the Richmond Greyhounds? They’ve sold out almost every game since their relegation …

The rest of the announcement fades to the background when understanding spreads across Ted’s face. Roy knows he’s seen the empty seat, knows he’ll understand the concern Roy can’t put into words. He raises an eyebrow when Tim looks back to his face, and the other coach nods.

“Just be in the locker room for halftime, yeah? The guys are countin’ on you for a speech to hype them up for the rest of the game.”

Roy jerks his chin up and down, then heads for the tunnel that’ll take him out of view of the crowds. The announcer’s voice comes behind him again.

Coach Kent, now heading off of the pitch. Makes you wonder what’s going on for the Greyhounds. Have they sent a coach away in the middle of a match, or did he ask to be excused? And why? But gameplay continues without him …

It’s only a few steps before he’s in the locker room, trying to shake off the memory of the last time he’d left the pitch before a match was up. It’s empty, no signs of another occupant, but the solitude gives him an opportunity to fish his phone out of his pocket.

No texts, no missed calls. Right away, he dials Keeley’s number.

If you’re looking for the PR Manager for the Richmond Greyhounds, leave a message for Keeley Jones after the beep. If you’re trying to reach your best friend Keeley for a round of drinks, hang up and text me. Oh, and Rebecca? If it’s too long to text, I’ll check my emails soon. Kisses!

“Oi, it’s me,” Roy all but grunts into the speaker when Keeley’s voicemail recording is done. “You’re not in your seat. Not that you have to be, but Rebecca hadn’t seen you, and I didn’t …” he trails off, suddenly afraid of sounding clingy and controlling. “Anyway, call me when you get this.”

He stares at his home screen after he hangs up, a selfie Keeley had nabbed his phone to take. He’s got an arm wrapped around her shoulders and his lips pressed against her temple, and her face is scrunched up in laughter. It’s ridiculous, the first time anyone but a blood relative has ever been his background, but he can’t help smiling at it, even as the worry knots itself tighter in his stomach.

When he can’t stand it any longer, he texts Rebecca.

You seen her?

Her reply is almost instant.

Not since she left. I have her coat, phone is in the pocket. Heard it ring.

Well, shit. She doesn’t have her phone, and as far as Roy knows, nobody has any idea where his girlfriend is.

But then there’s a sniffle from inside one of the toilet stalls. He’d know that sound anywhere; it’s the same noise Keeley makes every time they watch a Disney film together, right before he teases her for crying and she pokes fun right back at how he’s not.

He’d peered under the doors when he walked in, checking for feet, but he knocks on the stall anyway.

“Keeley?” He calls, pushing the door open slowly. Sure enough, she’s inside, sitting with her feet tucked up onto the seat, head wedged between her knees and hands clamped tightly around the back of her skull. “Babe, what’s going on?”

“It’s so … it’s so loud out there,” she whispers, but doesn’t look up. “All the yelling and shouting and cheering. It’s a good thing, I know, that the fans are engaged, but it was just pounding on my brain, making my eyes go all spotty. I tried to stick it out, Roy, really; I know how much these games mean to you, to the whole team. But then I felt like I was going to vomit and-” Keeley chokes on a sob. “I couldn’t find anywhere else quiet to go.”

“Right, well come on,” Roy reaches out slowly and squeezes one of her shoulders. “There’s got to be somewhere better to sit than a men’s toilet stall. You’ve met the lads, they’re disgusting.”

Keeley chuckles, thick and teary, but drops her knees and lets Roy pull her to her feet. As soon as she’s standing, she wraps her arms around his waist and buries her face in his chest. It can’t be too comfortable; he hasn’t taken off the Richmond windbreaker he wears for every game, but Keeley relaxes when Roy doesn’t push her away. Instead, he locks his arms around her shoulders and walks them both slowly back until he can drop onto one of the benches. Keeley stays leaned against him, but brings one hand up to cover her eyes where the harsh lighting seeps in.

“Alright, now, what is it?” Roy asks, when Keeley hasn’t said anything for a while. “You seemed alright when we left this morning.”

“I was. Or, I thought I was anyway. Just a little tired, maybe, but that was all. It was fine until the car ride, but then I got really queasy, and my head started throbbing.” Roy reaches up to scratch his fingers gently through her hair and she sighs. “It got a little better when we got out of the car, but then it was just so-”

“Loud, I know,” he finishes for her, then they both fall silent.

Exhaustion. Nausea. Headache. His sister had those symptoms once, just shy of eight years ago.

Shit.

“Keel. You don’t think you’re … You – we – couldn’t be … you aren’t …"

“What?”

“Um, pregnant? I know we’re careful, but …" Keeley cuts him off with a laugh that turns into a whimper, and he tightens his hold on her.

“No. Definitely not. Not this week, for sure. Just a migraine, I think. Used to get them sometimes, but it’s been a bit.”

“Good,” Roy sighs. “I mean, someday, maybe, but not …”

“Not yet,” Keeley agrees, and something goes warm in his chest, knowing that they’re on the same page. Right now, they don’t need to worry about anything except getting Keeley back in fighting shape.

“Have you taken anything?” She nods against his chest.

“This morning, um, in the car. It didn’t help much. Just need it dark. And quiet.”

“OK, that’s alright,” Roy whispers, dropping his voice even quieter. “It should be almost half, what say we find somewhere else for you to hole up before everyone comes barging in like heathens?”

He’s not sure exactly where they can go, but he knows he’s got to get Keeley out of the locker room before they clear the players off the pitch. She shrugs half-heartedly, and lets Roy pull her back to her feet. He doesn’t have a plan yet, but he starts walking them slowly toward the door as he looks around. There are no offices in here, no treatment rooms or storage closets.

He hasn’t checked the time since he found Keeley, but he’s played enough years of football that his body’s internal clock can feel the seconds ticking away. There’s maybe two or three minutes left, and Ted wants him to give the halftime pep talk. If he asked, if he explained everything, he could probably get out of it, maybe trade Beard for next week or something. Keeley needs him.

But the team needs him too.

All at once, it hits him.

Rebecca.

Rebecca doesn’t have a role in the halftime routine. There’s nothing happening on the field and she almost never comes to the locker room before the match ends. And she’s got a car here; that’s somewhere quiet Keeley can sit, at least until the second half gets underway.

He wiggles his phone out of his pocket again and reopens the text thread.

Found her in locker room. Migraine. Can you meet us and take her outside for halftime? Ted wants me to give speech.

Rebecca doesn’t reply, but a minute or so later, Roy hears the steady click-clack of her heels coming down the hall. Keeley whimpers, and he presses a kiss to her hair as the door swings open.

“Hey,” he says, shifting around to look at Rebecca.

“Hello,” she whispers back.

“Hey, Keeley, Rebecca’s here now,” Roy tips his face back down to whisper against the shell of her ear. “Think you can make it outside with her?”

“We can head back to the hotel, Keeley, if you think that’d help? It’s only a few minutes’ drive.”

“Yeah, ‘s quieter there,” she says, but doesn’t move.

“And I’ll meet you there just as soon as the match is done, hmm?” He runs his fingers up and down her arm, shifting away slightly. “Here, want to take my sunglasses, block out some of the light?”

At that, Keeley squeezes her eyes shut and turns her face up toward Roy. He chuckles and slides his glasses over her eyes, then brushes a kiss to the tip of her nose.

“Alright then, off you go,” He lets Rebecca take her by the arm and lead her back out of the locker room, trying to ignore the way his heart clenches at the sight of her trudging away, hunched over against her own discomfort.

He’ll be back with her soon enough. But the door has no more than swung shut behind them when it bounces open again. Jamie and Sam are leading the pack, the whole team piling in around him.

As usual, their energy is infectious, and Roy finds himself slapping hands and patting backs as he makes his way across the room to where Ted is bringing up the rear.

“Hey, Roy, you get everything all squared away?”

“For now. Rebecca’s taking Keeley back to the hotel; she’s not feeling well.” He should have known better than to hope that Ted Lasso would ever let anything drop with a simple explanation.

“Well that’d explain the text message I got from Boss Lady asking if she’d be alright rooming with me tonight.” Roy’s eyebrows go up at that. “And I’m guessin’ from the look on your face that she didn’t mention anything about that to you? Aw, geez, I hope I didn’t spoil a surprise or anything. But the cat’s out of the metaphorical bag now, isn’t it? So I might as well tell you that I told her that I was a-OK with switching up the room arrangements if that’s what’s best for everyone tonight. Thataways you can keep an eye on Keeley, and down the hall we can have Biscuits with the Boss: Evening Edition. How’s that sit with you?”

“Honestly, Ted, I have no opinion on what time of day you eat biscuits,” Roy sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “But thanks. I think. For making sure I can be there for Keeley.”

“We’re all on the same team here, right? What’s good for the goose and all that, we’re at our best when everyone is at their own, individual best. Hey, speaking of, there are some guys in here, waiting for someone to put a little extra pep in their step for the back end of this game. If you’re not up for it, I can see what Coach Beard has up his sleeve, or-”

“No, it’s fine,” Roy cuts him off before the rambling can reach full speed again. “I’ve got this one.”

He turns back to the group, and yells for everyone to listen up. When he’s got their attention, he takes a deep breath.

“What you’re doing on the pitch today, it’s fucking amazing,” he starts. “Not the score, though that’s pretty alright too. But that doesn’t matter half as much as how you’re playing. Hell, you assholes keep communicating this well, you’re going to put us coaches out of a job. I know Ted’s all about the rhymes and anecdotes and shit, but that’s not … I’m not a walking greeting card store,” everyone chuckles, Ted included. “But get back out there, keep working together, and dammit, make the four of us redundant!”

There’s a round of half-sarcastic applause, then Ted steps forward.

“Alright, y’all heard the man. Don’t get tired, get us fire—well, actually, don’t get us fired. That’s not … take the sentiment of what Roy said, but do me a favor and don’t take him literally. I like working with y’all. Anyway, Coach Beard’s gonna take it from here, walk y’all through a couple plays for the second half.”

The players cluster around Beard and his whiteboard diagram, and Ted finds his way back over to Roy at the back of the group.

“You know, if you need to head out a little early today, we can pull through without you. Sometimes a team is strongest when it’s split up to work on all the different things it needs to get done. Like taking care of each other.”

Any other day, he likes to think he’d insist on staying for the rest of the match. But if he’s honest with himself, he knows that he’ll put Keeley first anytime she needs him to.

“That’d be great, Ted. Thanks.”

“Hey, no problem, Roy. I’ll come check up on y’all when we get back?” Roy nods and shakes Ted’s hand quickly, then slips out of the locker room while Beard is saying something about the Sheffield players having “lots of power, like a high-watt light bulb.”

He doesn’t have a car, doesn’t feel like waiting on an Uber, so it’s a half-hour's walk back to the hotel. When he gets there, Rebecca is already waiting for him in the lobby.

“Ted gave me your room number,” she starts, as soon as they’ve said their hellos. “Keeley’s up there lying down. I, uh, I assumed yours was the bed with the unicorn on it?”

“It’s Phoebe’s,” he groans. “But yes.”

“I’m sure.” But she’s smirking like she might not be. “Anyway, Ted’s things are already taken care of, and I think I got everything of Keeley’s into your room, but she unpacked her entire suitcase first thing, so I might’ve missed some shoes or something.”

“No problem. She’ll get them back, I’m sure. Thanks for taking care of her.”

“Anytime, Roy. Really. I’m just down the hall, if either of you need anything.”

Roy nods his thanks and steps into the elevator.

He swipes his key card to unlock the door, then turns the handle and pushes it open slowly. The lights are turned off, and the curtains drawn, so he makes his way carefully, trying to remember if these rooms have any wayward furniture for him to stumble over.

Thankfully, the walkway is clear. He sits gently on the edge of his bed, smiling when the Keeley-shaped lump of covers shifts closer to him.

“Hey, babe,” she mutters.

“Hi,” Roy presses his lips together and pats what he thinks is probably her knee through the blankets. “Feeling better?”

“A little. Rebecca gave me water. And it’s quiet here.”

“Yeah, it is.” He’s not sure what else to say, but Keeley saves him from having to carry on the conversation.

“There’s a unicorn on your bed. ‘S soft.”

“His name is Captain McKibbin,” Roy replies, rolling his eyes even though he knows she can’t see from here. “I’ll tell Phoebe you like him.”

“Please do.”

“Anything else you need?”

“Just you,” she says, and it’s so quietly honest that if Roy weren’t already pretty sure he’s in love with her, it would have sealed the deal. He toes his shoes off and shimmies out of his windbreaker and trousers.

“Alright, well shove over then,” he teases, nudging her shoulder until there’s room for him to lie down beside her. When he pulls the covers back, he recognizes the hoodie she’s wearing as the one he’d crammed into the top of his bag when he packed last night. It’s three sizes too big, and she’s got one of her own just like it, but she looks far better in Roy’s than he ever will.

As soon as he’s lying down, Keeley is turning over and fitting herself against his side, tucking her face back into his bare chest. It’s still early in the evening, and Roy knows that if he falls asleep now, he’ll spend all week regretting it. But Keeley needs the rest, and there’s not much he can do without turning on the TV or lighting up his phone screen.

Besides, one afternoon nap never killed anyone, right?

So he closes his eyes and listens to her steady breathing. When Keeley wakes up, hopefully the worst of the migraine will have passed, and she’ll feel more like herself again. Roy knows they’ve got a pass on team bonding tonight, if they need it, and he doesn’t want to push Keeley into anything she’s not up for. But rumor has it that Beard found a pub with a bowling alley in it, and that’s bound to be entertaining, no matter the scores at the end of the night.

For right now, though, the only thing that matters is Keeley, curled up against him and warmer than all the blankets stacked on top of them. She’s asleep, and he’s following close behind, and nothing matters beyond the comfort they share.

Not migraines, or bowling, or trick plays, or shoes that might have been left down the hall, or anything but Roy and Keeley and this moment together, in the dark and the quiet.

Just them.

[sohotthateveryonedied]

Living is Harder

Read here on AO3!

Summary:

Tim drops the knife like it’s white-hot. Oh, god. Oh, god.

Tim did this. He was...he didn’t mean it. He didn’t. He would never. But the man was on top of him and Tim couldn’t breathe, and...he didn’t mean it.

Tim is walking home from Steph’s house, his light-up Sketchers the only things illuminating his path through the Gotham night. He stayed out later than he planned, utterly captivated in the Among Us tournament he and Steph were playing against their Titan friends all the way in San Francisco. (And Tim would have gotten away with the murders too, if it weren’t for that meddling Bart Allen who stared Tim down every time he killed a player, watching it happen but never reporting until Tim finally cracked from the shame and called an emergency meeting on himself.)

Tim rode in Steph’s car on the way to her house, but forgot that it would mean he’d be without a ride home. Steph offered to drive him back to the manor, that she doesn’t mind losing a measly hour of sleep, but Tim insisted he didn’t mind walking. Besides, it’s not like it was a lie. Sure, it’s Gotham, which means Tim can see drug deals going down on street corners and the occasional drunkard puking into a trash can, but Tim feels at peace here.

It brings him back to his early days of climbing fire escapes, tailing Batman and Robin under the cloak of night in the hopes to get just one more photo for his collection. It was a simpler time with fewer psychotic clowns—back then it was just the one, and all he did was tell shitty jokes and occasionally tie Robin up over a swimming pool filled with Jokerized sharks. Nowadays it’s all grotesque murders and creepy masks made of human skin. Where’s the showmanship? Where’s the pizzazz? Disgusting. Deplorable. Lazy beyond all reason. Tim is insulted by the lack of artistic ability in these new Jokers, and you may quote him on that. Regardless, Tim takes comfort in knowing that if something did go wrong, Cass is patrolling somewhere a good five blocks ahead. Maybe he can track her down and pick them up some corn dogs. He’s currently in the Red Hood’s territory, but whether Jason is around at the moment is a gamble at best. His schedule is harder to tamp down than a solid answer on Ted Cruz: Zodiac Killer. Jason might not even be in Gotham right now; he could be in space for all anyone knows. Sometimes Tim feels like Jason is more of a feral cat than a brother, which isn’t too far off, really. Tim happens upon an empty beer can on the sidewalk in front of a boarded-up store that he’s fairly certain used to be an adult film shop. Good ol’ Gotham City. He stoops down to pick up the crinkled can like the good samaritan he is and drops it into a trash can at the mouth of a nearby alley. He wipes his hands on his jeans, designer style be damned. That’s when Tim is grabbed from behind, a hand reaching up to cover his mouth and muffle his shout. He’s pulled into the alley and pushed up against a wall, the bricks digging into his back and knocking the breath from his lungs. Shit, shit, shit. How could he have been taken by surprise so easily? It’s hard to make out his attacker in the shadowed alley, the only discernible features being dark eyes and bared yellow teeth—never a good sign. Tim’s hands are pinned together above him in a strong grip, practically wrenching his shoulders from the sockets. He tries to scream, but the man’s disgusting hand presses harder against his mouth. Tim freezes when he feels the poke of a knife at his throat, digging into the skin just below his Adam’s apple. “Make a sound and I’ll gut you,” his attacker says, his voice a low rumble. The stench of cigarettes and alcohol assaults Tim’s sinuses and makes his stomach roll. He’s going to have to be careful about this. Robin could get out of this hold in five different ways with varying degrees of injury to the opponent, but a civilian couldn’t. Even if the only witness is a low-life scumbag, he shouldn’t run the risk. Better to wait until he’s at the point of no return to bust out the Robin moves. Instead, Tim goes for the oldest trick in the book and knees the man in the crotch, hard. It has the desired effect and the grip on Tim’s wrists slackens, the man dropping him with a grunt. Tim ducks out of range and makes a run for it. If he can just get to the street, he should be home free. Even in Gotham City, there are always witnesses to help out a poor, defenseless teenager under attack. Tim almost makes it to the sidewalk when he’s grabbed by the hair, crying out as he’s thrown violently to the ground. Then there’s weight on top of him, pinning his shoulders to the dirty ground under his back. Tim fights, kicking out and delivering purposeful hits under the guise of a panicked struggle. “You little shit,” the man spits. He’s still got a hold on Tim’s hair, which he uses to slam Tim’s head against the pavement so hard that Tim goes blind for a good ten seconds, his head spinning. The back of his scalp feels wet, and he hates to think about what bacteria must be lurking on the ground beneath him. The knife clatters somewhere to Tim’s side and he’s almost relieved until a hand wraps around his throat, cutting off his next breath. Instinct plunges him into panic, choking on the lack of air and scrambling to get a hold on his attacker. Scratching, kicking, desperately trying to loosen the grip crushing his windpipe. “You didn’t have to make this so difficult,” the man tells him. His body presses down on Tim’s smaller form, keeps him trapped against the unforgiving asphalt, and this is it. This is the point of no return he’s been waiting for, but now Tim is here and he can’t do anything about it. Not even Robin could get out of this without a weapon, and Tim has none. He’s powerless. The creep releases Tim’s hair with a whisper of, “Don’t move.” Before he can do anything more with his newly freed hand, though, Tim’s body is thrown into action faster than he can comprehend moving at all. The world goes hazy, time itself turning to molasses. Absently Tim feels muscles flex, sees shapes move in front of his eyes, but someone else might as well be controlling Tim’s body while he’s locked in the backseat, missing the entire ride. One minute Tim is on his back with the creep on top of him, and after a chunk of time that Tim can’t remember participating in, he’s standing against the alley wall with something clutched in his hand. Tim blinks back the fog, but it lingers. He looks down and studies the way his fingers clasp the handle of the knife. That can’t be right. He wasn’t holding a knife before. Tim comes back to his body in increments, a stop-motion reel. First there’s a stinging ache on the back of his head, blood soaking into the back of his shirt and plastering his hair against his neck. His gaze slips from the glinting knife to the blood that covers his hands, warm and sticky. Then he catches a shape on the ground in front of him and Tim’s breath catches in his throat. The man from before is on the ground now, his eyes closed and blood spreading from a stab wound directly over his sternum. Tim drops the knife like it’s white-hot. Oh, god. Oh, god. Tim did this. He was...he didn’t mean it. He didn’t. He would never. But the man was on top of him and Tim couldn’t breathe, and...he didn’t mean it. Tim staggers back until his back hits the cold brick wall, his pulse pounding in his ears so loud the entire city must hear it. He just stabbed a person. He just killed a person. The one rule he’s supposed to follow, the one thing he promised never to do, and he just did it. Without even a second’s hesitation. He took a life. What is Bruce going to say when he finds out? Tim’s legs are made of jello, wobbling in warning until they give out entirely and he slides to the ground, knees pulled in close to his chest. His hands are still covered in blood. A dead man’s blood. He should...he should do something. He should act. First-aid, stop the bleeding, do whatever it takes to help in case there’s a chance. Tim doesn’t move. He doesn’t even try. His limbs have been replaced with rubber, his brain with slush. He just killed a man. In the back of his mind he knows he can’t go home, not like this. Not covered in another man’s blood. Even if he tried, Tim isn’t sure he’d make it two steps without collapsing into a puddle of whatever emotion is making him feel as though he’s rotting from the inside out. His family lives by a code, would sooner die themselves than take a life. Bats don’t kill. Tim doesn’t kill. Tim killed. His fingers shake as they take out his cell phone on autopilot, and the screen is cracked at the corner from when he was slammed into the ground. That’s going to cost money to fix. Tim gets blood on the screen, smudging over his contact list and warping the names. He finds the one he’s looking for and puts the phone to his ear. A ring. Two rings. A click. “This had better be important,” Jason says. Tim swallows. “Um. I—um.” He can’t take his eyes off of the body, lying there still as a corpse. Because it is a corpse. “My...head isn’t working. It’s—something is wrong. With me.” “Are you high or something? Because if you are, I’ll fucking kill you.” That does it. What little resolve Tim held on to cracks in one clean split and a sob bursts through. He covers his mouth with his elbow, choking on gasps. “Jay, I—it was an accident. I swear to god, I didn’t mean to. He was...it wasn’t...I didn’t mean to.” There’s a creak on the other end, maybe Jason sitting up in his chair. Or maybe he just sat down. Maybe he closed a door. Too many things in the world are creaky. “What the hell are you talking about? What happened?” “He’ll kick me out. He’s gonna take Robin away from me.” Something slams—definitely a door. “Kid, tell me where you are.” “I don’t know. It was—” His brain isn’t working. For the first time in his life, logic and reason escape him and Tim’s mind pushes into overdrive, drags him deeper and deeper into oblivion. Bruce is going to find out. He’s going to find out and he’s going to hate Tim for the rest of his life. Bruce doesn't like murderers. “Goddamn it. Tim, listen to me. Can you do that?” It takes a moment, but Tim manages to get out an affirming noise. “I’m going to track your phone and come get you. Don’t move, got it? Stay right where you are. I’ll be there soon.” Jason hangs up, leaving Tim alone again. He drops his phone back on the concrete, uncaring of potential breaks. It’s already been cracked. “He’s going to kick me out,” Tim repeats to the empty alleyway. ------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tim is cold by the time Jason arrives. Or maybe he’s been cold this entire time. It’s hard to tell. “Fuck,” Jason swears as he takes in the scene before him. The body on the pavement. Tim, huddled against the alley wall, his eyes glazed over as he stares at the body like a horror movie he can’t turn off. Jason isn’t wearing his helmet, just a domino mask. He takes it off when he kneels in front of Tim, makes Tim meet his eyes. “Hey, kid. You with me?” “I killed him.” The words taste acrid on Tim’s tongue, sour. “Don’t worry about that now. Are you hurt anywhere?” Tim doesn’t answer. The back of his head stung before, but the pain is muffled now. Everything is muffled. “I killed him, Jay. I’m a murderer. Bruce is...I’m not supposed to kill. Robins don’t kill. They don’t.” His chest is tight, getting tighter by the minute until it feels like every breath is being sucked in through a tiny straw. “Tim, breathe,” Jason tells him. He puts his hand on Tim’s shoulder, and that helps a little. Gives him something to latch onto. “You’re in shock. Try putting your head between your knees.” Tim does, stares down at the dirty pavement between his sneakers. His eyes linger on an old fast food receipt. It has droplets of blood on it. “I don’t know what happened, I really don’t. He was—it was an accident. He was on top of me and he had a knife and then he was choking me and...I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t breathe, so I just—I just moved. And now he’s dead. I killed him. What am I going to do?” “It was self-defense,” Jason says, as if the answer could really be so simple. “If you hadn’t acted, he would have hurt you. Maybe even killed you. You did the right thing.” “No, it’s—” Tim picks his head up, digs his nails into his knees to keep himself above the fog. “No. I took a life. I’m guilty. I can’t—there’s no coming back from that. There isn’t.” How can he live with himself after this? Does he even deserve to? “What, so you would rather be dead than have to tell Bruce you took a life? Seriously?” “Yes.” There’s no hesitation, not even a pause to let the words soak in. Jason sighs, and Tim is too far gone to decipher what it means. He squeezes Tim’s shoulder once and stands, goes over to the body still lying on the ground. (As if a dead man would go anywhere.) Jason crouches down and takes off one of his gloves, presses two fingers over the man’s neck. After a moment or two, he lets out a breath. “He’s still alive.” Tim’s breath hitches. “Really? Are you sure?” “Pulse is thready, but he’s not dead.” All of the air leaves Tim’s lungs in one huge whoosh, making him lightheaded. “Oh my god. That’s…” That’s good, right? It’s a good thing. It should be a good thing. “Yup. That’s one hell of a relief.” Jason straightens up from his crouch. He reaches into his jacket, pulls out a gun, and fires it into the man’s head. “Jason!” It happens so fast that Tim doesn’t even have the capacity to think about the blood and brain matter splattered over Jason’s clothes, Tim’s shoes, the cracks in the alley’s pavement. “How could you—” “What? It’s not like he was going to walk it off or anything.” “We just—” Tim’s stomach churns. It feels like he’s going to be sick. “We just killed a man.” “No, I killed a man.” Jason holsters his gun, then kicks the body in the side for good measure. “You, however, are off the hook.” “What are you talking about? I stabbed him.” The knife is around here somewhere. That’s evidence. Proof of what happened tonight, what Tim did. What Jason finished. “And I shot him in the head. One of those is worse than the other.” “But I—” “No,” Jason snaps. He lowers himself to look Tim in the eyes. “You didn’t. Kill. Anyone. Got it? I killed him. Your slate is still clean.” “There’s a body. Evidence. I still did this.” Jason grabs the bloody knife and tucks it into his jacket. “No, the Red Hood did this. He cornered the guy in an alley, stabbed him, then shot him in the face. That’s what happened.” Tim shakes his head. “You can’t. You can’t take the fall for me.” “I’m not. I’m the one who killed him, right? I’m just taking responsibility for my own actions, which nobody is going to look twice at because this is the third one this week.” Jason takes Tim by the arm, pulling him upright and keeping him steady when he wobbles. “What about Bruce?” “We’ll tell him the truth. That you got attacked by some creep, I killed his slimy ass like he deserved, and then I let you crash at my place for the night to make sure you were safe. That’s it. Understand?” Tim isn’t sure if he does or not. He’s too numb to attempt puzzling it out, but he does know one thing he can say. “Thanks, Jason.” “Don’t mention it. Just try not to puke on me until we get to my place and I’ll call us even.”

[we-are-colleagues]

Villanelle - Character Analysis: Power & Growth:

Villanelle doesn’t kill without reason. 

This season has put a spotlight on her motivations, that can be traced back to S1. Villanelle kills for power and for Control. She’s not some Ted Bundy who kills to get her rocks off. It’s the power that she craves (and she gets off on). The changes we are seeing in Villanelle in the recent episodes are a product of this core drive and motivation being challenged. 

In S3, we hear Villanelle vocalise this connection. A lot. She names the scent she confronts Eve in "Power". She purses her family because she believes the knowledge – the truth – will make her more powerful. She agrees to work for the Twelve again because she is promised power.

The key to changes we are seeing unfold in Villanelle is due to them unpicking the driving force behind her actions. In her mind killing and violence has always granted her power and control. It’s a link her upbringing cemented in her and that The Twelve have fostered ever since.

The Evolution of Her Kills

The first kill we ever see on screen is bone-chilling (The Hairpin). She absolutely delights in the kill. It’s like she drains the life force out of him as he falls to his knees before her. She feels powerful watching him die.

But even in S2, her glee is diminished. I think immediately of the pig kill. Konstantin is distracting her in Amsterdam with this job. She’s killing for a scorned wife, hardly the world-changing targets she’s used to. She’s bored the whole episode and missing Eve. She has to dress the kill up to intrigue herself and to get Eve’s attention. To Konstantin, afterwards, she remarks, ‘It didn’t feel like anything’. That thrill from S1 is absent. She didn’t feel powerful killing this man and the experience pales incomparison to what Eve makes her feel.

In general, as of S2 there is no more looking into people’s eyes as she kills them. The last time she really felt the power she chases was when she killed Aaron Peel and it turned out Carolyn was using her. Then, of course, when she watched Eve kill Raymond, where she was the one controlling Eve and seemingly, getting everything she wanted.

The kills in S3 ramp up this contrast to S1. Her spice kill lacks her usual flamboyance, she’s more interested in posing the body and challenging Dasha than the kill. She wants to prove she’s better, more powerful. Her garden kill is almost merciful. She takes more joy in playing with the woman than killing her. 

Villanelle is motivated this season not so much by the power she feels from each kill, but the power promised to her by Dasha and The Twelve if she makes it to the rank of Keeper.

Her Relationship With Eve

This hardwired understanding is challenged when she attempting to kill Eve and their connection. Let’s dive into why she shot Eve, framed through this understanding of why Villanelle kills. 

Villanelle’s perception of love is also skewered around control. Villanelle tries to narrow Eve’s world and her options to just running away with her to Alaska. When Eve realises she’s been manipulated, Eve acknowledges how they are alike by chooses to walk away anyway.

Villanelle has just borne her soul to Eve, made herself vulnerable by telling Eve that she loves her and she’s shut down. Completely. As soon as that happens Villanelle feels like she’s lost control of this situation, of Eve, of herself and she shots. It purely an attempt to regain some control and power, as killing and violence have always been for her.

Villanelle believes Eve is dead and six months later she is talking about her on her wedding day. When she finds out Eve is alive, she can’t pretend that she was in control of their connection or had gotten over Eve. That is why she makes such a show of her power to Eve as if to say “it doesn’t matter that you didn’t die, I’m more powerful than ever now”. She dresses in a men’s suit, wears the perfume Power and invades Eve’s life on her commute to work. Even physically she takes control of Eve. But it doesn’t mean anything in the end. Eve has just as much if not more power than Villanelle in that scene. She has the power to give Villanelle what she really wants.

(Look I was gonna put a quote here from Sandra Oh about Villanelle being physically stronger than Eve in the bus scene but she still never hurting her. And that it demonstrates how Eve’s power over Villanelle’s psyche continues to grow. I can’t find it anywhere so like let me know if you know what I’m talking about. I swear it exists.)

UPDATE (edit): I found it.

"Villanelle at all times can physically overpower Eve, but what grows is Eve's influence on Villanelle's psyche. Which is like [Villanelle] won't, even though she can"  X

Villanelle entire relationship with Eve is a push and pull of power where Eve maintains her power without violence (aside from the stabbing in S1). In the bus scene, it is won through an act of affection, or omission that she feels similarly about Villanelle. 

Her Mother

What trying to kill Eve started, killing her mother finished.

Villanelle thinks killing her mother will give her control, give her power over herself.  Literally serve as a way to kill her demons. However, I think Jodie put it best in this interview:

“You can see the regret that she is already feeling but feels she has to go through with it — because I think she feels it’s the only way she feels she can fully kill her past and the woman that she was,” Comer says. “But actually in some ways, it’s like she kills Villanelle; it’s Oksana who is her true self and who she can’t get away from. So I think actually by doing what she has done, it has the complete opposite effect of what she was hoping for. For me now, at this point, I think Villanelle is her own worst enemy, and she’s coming to the realization that that may have been the case all along.” x

If we compare her killing Tatiana to say her first kill. The choice to not show her killing her mother cannot be ignored. It’s like even Villanelle doesn’t want to look at it:

“Villanelle has always looked into the eyes of those she’s killed, and in one draft the kill was actually [depicted], and I was like, ‘Maybe she can’t look at her; maybe she has to cover her mother’s face. This isn’t as easy as she thinks,'” Comer tells Variety. “I think Villanelle’s having a real identity crisis after the events of Episode 5.”

Villanelle doesn’t expect it to but killing her mother wounds her. Robs her of some of her power and makes her lose control.

S3 pulled off what could have been a disastrous dive into Villanelle’s past. You are encouraged to understand Villanelle was always like this. Probably would have always been. But we are also meant to see her mother’s influence, especially on her understanding of power and control and why she would be so fixation on obtaining it after being under her mother thumb.

We see Tatiana’s influence affecting her brothers lives as well. Pyotr stays there simply because he is told to. He has his own anger issues which he takes out on a couch. Pyotr attempts to control that side of himself, while Villanelle has always lent into it. She even suggests he just take it out on people instead, it will make him feel better. She doesn’t understand the need or benefit in controlling her own darkness.

In many of the scenes where Villanelle speaks to others about her mother, she mentions her mother’s covert and overt attempts to control all of them. Villanelle hopes that killing her mother might finally free her, give her back control. But in a echo of her advice to Pyotr taking it out on her mother doesn’t make her feel any better.

Dasha 

My assessment of Dasha’s role in this season has change from 3x01. She was quite impressive in the first ep. She looked dangerous, which she is, but having spent more time with her and seen how Villanelle easily copied her signature kill, how she messed up killing Niko and how she lost at bowling to Eve. It’s clear she’s a washed up has-been assassin. I think in a way she is meant to make Villanelle consider the future available to her in this kind of life.

Dasha is one of the few assassins that makes it to old age. Villanelle is too confident to consider she would die doing this job. That said, I don’t think she’s given much thought to her future, especially not one without Eve.

Dasha is our glimpse at it. A woman, who when she should be retired, rich, and happy is still playing this game. She can’t even return home. Whatever power Dasha wield doesn’t grant her what she wants. Her legacy and her status have earnt her little. She is still taking orders from the same people. This must surely motivate Villanelle’s ascent through the ranks of The Twelve. Villanelle is after power and Dasha is dwarfed by the likes of Hélène

 Keeper, but not a keeper

This brings us to 3x06. Villanelle is finally made a Keeper, the job description isn’t as lavish as she hoped. They offer her more money, more material possession but send her on the same old missions. Where is the power she was promised? It is here where she finally gets a whiff of how much The Twelve are truly controlling her.

I think this is why the Hairdresser kill goes so poorly. To kill this man is almost a forfeit of her power, to knowingly do it when she is being control. She knows she’s been fooled. It must be driving her crazy. Cause this is bullshit.  For the first time she feels like a pawn working for The Twelve rather than powerful.

She’s just killed her mother. She’s head deep in her childhood trauma, that is all centred around being used and controlled. This insult from The Twelve hits different. Killing no longer offers what she always sought from it. The strings are pulling loose on what makes Villanelle, Villanelle. Talk about an identity crisis.

It’s all quite raw, she’s changing before our eyes, I doubt we will see this weepy emotional Villanelle forever. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think this unlinking of power and control with killing suddenly make Villanelle a saint. Not a single part of her felt bad for the man she killed, she just didn’t want to do it.  

It might lead Villanelle to ask whether she has ever been in control of her own darkness. We talk so much about Eve letting go, perhaps, on the other side of that Villanelle needs to take control and realise she is her own worst enemy sometimes.

In the same episode, Villanelle falls apart we see Eve wield her own power and darkness without violence, even though we know she’s capable of it. We are watching Eve reach an equilibrium with her darkness while Villanelle is seesawing.

In summary, this season has reinforced and emphasised why Villanelle does what she does – for power and control - and then gone on to challenge her understanding of it completely. It’s given Villanelle room to grow and change.

I think it’s so interesting, if you can’t tell from reading this whole thing. I always thought the show would be too scared to change Villanelle so drastically, though some change is definitely necessary, especially for her and Eve to have anything stable. I thought the show relied too heavily on Villanelle pulling of a hit every episode to tamper with her drive to kill. But it’s delicious and opens up a world of possibility. This doesn’t mean we’ll get soft Villanelle anytime soon but maybe a more calculated Villanelle, whose interests better align with Eve’s. 

[olicitysecretsanta]

One Day

This fic is my gift for @feilcityqueen who loves missing moments. By @tangled23works

Rating: Teen and Up    Words: 1500    Relationship: Oliver Queen/Felicity Smoak

I hope you’ll enjoy this one, my friend. It is set in Season 2, a little after Oliver makes that stupid mistake in Russia. Have fun reading!

November 2013

Felicity stared at the stupid gadget that her annoying friend from college had sent as a prank. The thing was built like a watch but it obviously didn’t function as a one or at least like any watch that she knew. For the life of her, she couldn’t figure what it was. She was tempted to break it with a hammer and claim it had been an accident but a bet was a bet and if she lost she would have honor it. Yup, that was not allowed. 

The continuous sound of metal clanking on metal disrupted her concentration. If her vigilante boss-slash-friend could stop doing that for one minute, she might have a chance to actually concentrate.

  As if he had heard her thoughts, he jumped from the salmon ladder on the unforgiving concrete. He made it seem effortless, moving quietly like a jungle cat but she knew it was the exact opposite. Felicity had once tried to climb on the thing, while Oliver was on a mission of course. Thankfully, Dig had caught her trying to get to the second rung before she could get hurt. It was higher than she had expected which had made her dizzy in seconds. That was the day she discovered her fear of heights was legitimate and not just a remnant of their break-in last year in Merlyn Global.

  “Fe-li-ci-ty”

  She jumped and turned around so fast that her ponytail smacked Oliver on the arm.

  “You need a bell. A big, brown, cowbell that rings whenever you move.” She made a mental note. “Yup, that’s what your Secret Santa is bringing you for the holidays. Not that I drew your name during this year’s Secret Santa at the office but if I had, I would definitely-”

  “Breathe, Felicity.”

  She fixed her glasses. “Why are you so sweaty?”

  His expression showed nothing but she could tell that he was amused. “Have you ever tried the ladder? It’s impossible not to be sweaty after thirty minutes on that thing.”

  “Wow, that’s the most words you have spoken to me since Russia. Are you sure you don’t have a fever or something?”

In hindsight, mentioning Russia and referring to Oliver’s escapades with TheOneWhoShallNotBeNamed might not have been such a great idea. The humour vanished from his expression and he reached for the nearest towel, turning his back to Felicity.

  “I know things have been fraught between us…”

  “Have they?” she mocked. “I hadn’t noticed.”

  “Felicity,” he sighed. 

  “You know, Oliver, saying my name isn’t considered a full sentence. Could you please use a little more grammar and syntax?”

  He grunted and threw the towel away.

  “And you’re back to brooding.” She threw her hands in the air. “Whatever, Oliver.”

  He put on a gray henley with a lot more force than was necessary.

  “What do you want me to say? I already explained-”

  “Yeah, let’s not revisit that particular discussion, thank you very much. It was hard enough to stomach the first time.”

  Their eyes locked for a few moments. In his gaze she could read the remorse and guilt eating him alive. There were a few other emotions buried under that but she had not mastered the art of deciphering his feelings yet. Suddenly, with a clarity that had been missing from her life for days she realized she didn’t want that. Making him apologize over and over would not make her feel any better. And Oliver Queen had enough things in this lifetime and the next to feel guilty about. He didn’t need her adding to that pile of misery.

  Russia had been a blessing in disguise. Her inappropriate dreams had just started to take shape when Oliver’s one night stand had delivered a blow more powerful than any lecture she could have given herself. The thought was like a bucket of cold water thrown to her face. Oliver didn’t see her that way. Sure, he liked her and she would bet her entire Doctor Who tea set that he respected her but it wasn’t the same. Still, the fact that he slept with that woman of all the women in the world, the one that tormented her and spread vile rumours in QC, rumours he had no idea about by the way, was a low blow.

“So,” she said with a forced lightness she didn’t feel, “I’m in trouble.”

  “What’s wrong?” He took a menacing step forward as if there was an invisible enemy he would have to fight.

  “Calm down, big guy!” Felicity rolled her eyes, then blushed a bright red. “I didn’t mean big like big down there,” her gaze dropped towards his cargo pants without meaning to, “even though I’m sure that your penis must be at least average-sized considering the size of your-”

  Oliver grabbed her shoulders before she could go on. 

  “Oh my God,” she squeaked and fell on his chest, “someone kill me now. Where is the damn league of assassins when you need them? Call Sara! I could use an assassin right about now.” She kept mumbling even though the sound was muffled because she was way too embarrassed to stop and apparently her brain to mouth filter was permanently broken. 

  Oliver’s hand was stroking her back softly, gentling her as he always did whenever she said something mortifying. He didn’t seem to mind that he was more often than not the focus of her inappropriate babbling. Most of the time he found it amusing and he never hesitated her to hold her. At least, he had never hesitated before Russia. These days they were overly polite and kept making sure no hands or arms or legs were ever close enough to touch. It brought tears to her eyes.

  “Hey,” he breathed.

  Felicity looked up at him biting her lip. “I’m sorry.”

  “There’s nothing to apologize for.”

  She took a deep breath, inhaling soap, leather and something that was pure Oliver and stepped back. He let her go but one hand lingered on her shoulder.

  “So,” she pointed to the device on her workstation to shake some of the awkwardness, “I have a friend from college. The only one I’m still in contact with and every year we place a bet. We find a gadget, something that is not accessible to the public yet and we send it to each other. This year it was her turn and this thing is driving me crazy. I know it might seem silly to you but I can’t lose, I just can’t.”

  “What happens if you lose?”

She loved the fact that even though he was a tough, scary vigilante he never mocked her concerns or laughed at her.

  “I have to wear a Christmas headband. A red one. With reindeer antlers.” She shuddered at the thought. “And I don’t know if I told you but-”

  “You’re Jewish.”

  “Yeah, which makes it even worse somehow. Anyway,” she stopped abruptly and stared at him in surprise. “You remember that?”

  “I remember everything about you, Felicity.”

  Cursing herself for her inability to control the flush that spread on her face, she harrumphed and picked up the watch that wasn’t a watch.

  “Wanna help me figure out this thing?”

  It was an olive branch and he knew it so he smiled and stepped closer. Felicity wanted to giggle at the thought that Oliver Queen, the man who couldn’t figure out the apps on his brand new iPhone would be able to help her in this case. It would be akin to her trying next Wednesday to shoot the bad guy with a bow and arrow.

  “Why are you laughing?”

  “No reason. I just remembered something.”

  “Huh,” he replied frowning and turning the device upside down.

  “Careful with that. I don’t know what it does and I don’t think that Martina would ever purposely send anything dangerous but still…”

  “This was made by Kord Industries.”

  Felicity grabbed the watch and lifted it closer. “How do you know? The Kord Industries logo is distinctive and I don’t see it here.”

  He took her finger and stroked the metal. “Do you feel the carving? It’s a beetle. That’s Ted’s idea of a joke.”

  “I don’t get it.” Felicity didn’t like the things she didn’t understand. Mysteries needed to be solved.

Oliver ignored the question in her eyes. “Guess who owes me a favor?”

  “Mr. Kord himself?”

  He nodded and smiled like a kid at Disney store. His eyes were filled with excitement and something else. Pure pleasure. Solving this small mystery together, working as partners was important to him. Perhaps, more important than she had realized. For a moment, she could see the child he once was, mischievous and happy, causing trouble along with his best friend Tommy. It was so rare for the Oliver that she knew to show any kind of enthusiasm that she felt a painful pang in her heart. So, even though things were still complicated and she was by no means ready to forgive and forget, Felicity knew in her bones that they would get past this. One day.

[panharmonium]

some disjointed thoughts about stranger things 2 under the cut (concealed to hide spoilers from my sister)

so, season 2!

i’ve gone into every season of this show knowing absolutely nothing about it.  i’ve had no exposure to the fandom or to reviews or anything that would indicate what it was about or how good the seasons are in relation to each other, which i like, because i know my opinions are my own.  season 1 i watched back in the winter, i think, and it was amazing.  blew me away. 

i just finished season 2 and i’m like...not as into it?

and i’m glad i had no preexposure to anything, because if i had, i’d worry that i was just being influenced by other people’s opinions, but i genuinely don’t know what people think of the various seasons.  i’ve been stringently avoiding anything about this show, have it blocked on tumblr, etc, so i could watch it cold.

i’d have to watch it again to really pin down the places where my investment was flagging, and i’ll probably do that eventually, because i know my roommate will want to see it, but my general impression was this: they had me hooked in the beginning, and then they started to lose me.

- i feel like overall it was 9 episodes where very little substance actually happened.  plotlines were stretched out over a reallllllly long period of time and became paper-thin.  like nancy and jonathan?  the only thing they really did over those entire nine episodes was make a tape recording and send it to the paper.  that was their whole story, and it could have fit in one episode.

- and what did happen felt like it suffered from a lack of focus.  can i explain this in more detail without watching the show again?  not really.  but i just mean that in S1, i could tell you what each of the main character’s arcs were, and i could lay out how those arcs had clear beginnings, middles, and endings.  in S2, i can really only do that for El (and even that i feel like got messy by the last third).  

- the horror vibe was different this season.  it was LESS scary, to me.  S1 was a CREEP factor that had my skin crawling - it wasn’t like...creature horror - it was the unsettlingness.  the whole parallel world thing was so - well, the only word for it is unsettling, like.  you felt like you could take a step and accidentally wind up somewhere no one should be - the idea that you can be trapped so close to somebody and yet so far away - you just felt like the world was inside out (or upside down, if you will).  and so much of the fear in the first one came from how incomprehensible and uncertain the entire situation was - you didn’t know how things worked and nobody believed you when you tried to tell them what was happening.  that scene where the christmas lights spell out R-U-N?  scariest fucking thing i’ve ever seen.  but S2 changed it to be like...it felt like more of a monster flick.  like a zombie movie or something - lots of creatures running around that you can just shoot with a gun - that’s just not really the same vibe as the first season, and i didn’t find it quite as interesting.

- i don’t want to be That Person, because i liked maxine as a character in general, on her own terms, but from a writing perspective - what even was the purpose of her introduction?  her and her brother both, honestly, the whole family.  i feel almost bad for saying that, because i can guarantee that there were people out there complaining about her being introduced because “they just wanted to have another girl; it’s so stupid, blah blah,” cue more sexist stuff, etc, and that’s really not where i’m coming from, but for me, from a general storytelling perspective, i don’t understand why she or her family were introduced.  they were superfluous to the story.  they didn’t need to be there.  and since i don’t even feel like the returning characters got enough development this season (see point #2), i don’t understand why we spent so much time on her/her family/her introduction to the Party.  it felt like filler.

- stranger things S2 did that thing teen wolf does where 2/3 of the way through the season it drops a tonally-different expository/flashback episode that does a lot of the legwork tying other shit together while also being completely disconnected from the rest of the plot, which is basically an info dump and is my least favorite way of relaying plot/getting characters to the spot the writer wants them to go.  i think kali was the most interesting new character we met this season; i was rapt every time she was onscreen, but i don’t love the “we’re going to shove all of the character development and background info into this one episode and at the end El has had her turnaround and goes back home.”  it didn’t feel believable to me.  are we ever going to see those people again, or were they just a plot convenience to serve the aforementioned purpose?  (idk, i haven’t watched S3 yet, so...we’ll see.)

- some weird...minor tonal changes/dropped plots?  in S1 one of the running undercurrents was how mike and nancy’s mom wanted them to talk to her and she really did care about what was going on but they couldn’t connect to her and that bothered her, whereas in S2 it’s like - that theme has been dropped; she’s not involved in their lives really at all, and her and ted’s spousal relationship is just being played for laughs, and there was that REALLY weird scene with her like...lusting after billy??????  that was so fucking bizarre.  

and until one line in the very last episode, they dropped the whole thing about hopper’s daughter, too - the way they wove that into the first season was brilliantly done, and just - you don’t see a bit of it in S2, and that felt off, to me.

- killing bob was a bad call.  it was gratuitous, AND it was contrived - who the hell is running for their life and then just stops dead in the lobby to smile at their girlfriend?  ANY SENSIBLE PERSON WOULD KEEP RUNNING FOR THE DOOR.  like - bob died, but the doctor survived????????  the doctor, who was attacked and immobilized and defenseless in a stairwell, somehow wasn’t killed??????  of course not, because he needed to survive, so he could get El her papers later....that entire thing irritated me.  it made no sense.  that was actually the point where i said to myself “uh-oh.  first Bad-with-a-capital-B decision this show’s made.”  

- lack of consistency in terms of how, exactly, Stuff Works.  in S1 it was like - the Upside Down is everywhere.  the demigorgon could come through anywhere, if you were unlucky.  that was part of what made it so creepy - there’s this whole other world and it is RIGHT THERE with you, and sometimes the fabric separating the two universes gets scary thin, and bam, you’re somewhere no human has any business being.  whereas in S2 it’s like - ok, things are coming through this one portal and spreading through tunnels underground, in our own dimension???  like at first i thought hopper had actually entered the Upside Down in the tunnels, but then it seemed like the tunnels were still on our plane, just gross-looking.  so why in S1 could the demigorgon come through the ceiling of will’s house, or through that tree in the woods, or take barbara through the pool?  why did the lab people think burning that little gate would help, when the first monster from last season was obviously popping into our dimension from all sorts of other places?  

- this is a minor quibble, but it was driving me up the WALL in the last couple of episodes - what in god’s name were they injecting will with???  and HOW.  mike just grabs that syringe off the counter like “we need to make will go to sleep” - there is NO reason that anyone in the room would know what was in the syringe or what the correct dosage was or HOW TO GIVE AN INJECTION IN THE FIRST PLACE.  joyce gives it???????  by stabbing straight down????????  into will’s arm????????????  what the hell kind of injection technique is that?!?!?!  that’s not....how that works.  ever.  and maxine does it to billy too, in his NECK - just straight in there.  there is no....look, people in human medicine can weigh in better than me here; maybe things are different, but just from the veterinary perspective, you can’t just stab a creature any old place you want, and giving something via any route that isn’t intravenous isn’t going to drop an animal immediately, AND you do not have control over how long they’re going to be out.  if you give a sedative, you can’t just wake an animal up by wafting ammonia under their nose.  AND the animal is likely not going to be actually asleep until you also give an anaesthetic induction agent, and if you do give an anaesthetic induction agent, you’d better have some monitoring equipment and a breathing apparatus hooked up to your patient!

look, it just - the “go to sleep” injection was used to solve too many critical situations for me to just ignore it.  it bothered me.

anyhow.  overall, i didn’t hate it.  but i thought it was way less cohesive than the first season, and therefore way less effective.  i’m still curious to see what happens in S3, but my expectations are lower now. 

[if you wanna talk to me about this, you have my permission, but ONLY if you’re able to do it without talking about S3 in any capacity, including your own personal evaluation of how good/bad it is in relation to the other seasons.  i like to watch without knowing other people’s opinions of things, otherwise i feel like my viewing experience is colored by what i hear.  thanks! :) ]

[raywritesthings]

Bird in a Storm 15/17

My Writing Fandom: Arrow Characters: Laurel Lance, Oliver Queen, John Diggle, Quentin Lance, Captain Stein, Lucas Hilton, Frank Pike, Moira Queen, Thea Queen, Roy Harper Pairing: Laurel Lance/Oliver Queen Summary: The confrontation between the Hood and SWAT on the roof of the Winick Building goes differently, altering the course of Laurel’s career, relationships and efforts to save her city forever, the shockwaves of such an altered path making themselves felt throughout her family and friends. *Can be read on my AO3, link is in bio*

Laurel was still having trouble processing what had happened at the memorial.

On some level, she knew Tommy’s dislike of the Hood wouldn’t mean good things if he ever found out Oliver’s identity, but to hear the words that had come out of his mouth that day had been another thing entirely. Where had that boy with the devil-may-care smile gone? Had she done this to him?

Laurel wasn’t naive enough to assume she was the only reason for Tommy’s new outlook and attitude. Her friend had always had an anger under the surface for what had happened to his mother, what his father hadn’t been able to be for him. There wasn’t anything she could have done to change those things, and so she had let it be. But maybe that had been wrong. She and Oliver had failed to be there for him, no matter their reasons for it, and now he apparently didn’t want or need their help. Who did they have to blame for it but themselves?

She was tackling Oliver’s salmon ladder today. The nice thing about his setup down here was that there was plenty of new things for her to learn that weren’t in the classes she had taken in self-defense, from Ted or with Anita. She was going to keep learning whatever she could get access to, because if she couldn’t help her friend then she would do everything she could to be ready to help others.

Oliver and Diggle sparred down below on the mats. After giving her a demonstration and watching her get up onto the first rung by herself, Oliver had left her to it. She liked that about them. One good thing about the distance they had had the last few months and her suiting up on her own was that he’d already realized she could handle things. For her part, Laurel knew that if she couldn’t, he and John were ready and willing to help out.

Laurel breathed in and out once on the top rung, her legs swinging back and forth in a slow, controlled manner, before she prepared to head back down. A beep from the computers distracted her, even more so when Oliver called out a halt to Digg and headed over.

She exchanged a look with the other man before hurrying to get back down, almost missing the last rung with the bar. She grabbed her water and towel and walked over. 

“Something about Athena turn up?”

“No,” Oliver said with a frown. She could tell it was bothering him, the lack of information on this woman who had replaced them both as Tommy’s confidant. “It’s the worm I sent into the SCPD’s computer system.”

Laurel felt both eyebrows raise. “You infiltrated the police’s computers?”

“Not the first time we’ve hacked them,” Diggle informed her.

“In my defense, this time was on your father’s orders,” Oliver added. “He’s worried about corruption and asked me to look into things.”

She was torn between laughing or screaming. “Okay, so my father, who had me surrounded by a SWAT team for asking you to help me on a case… wants you to help him on a case.”

Oliver blinked. “Uh… yup.”

“I can’t believe him!” Okay, maybe the anger was winning out. “He is such a hypocrite!” Even if she was at peace with how her life turned out, it wasn’t like it had been fun to get shot with a rubber bullet and lose her job, all for the exact thing her father was doing right now. It wasn’t like she wanted those things to happen to him, too, just some acknowledgement that maybe she hadn’t been wrong to do it. That there was a need in this city for vigilantes.

That he might not be angry if he ever found out what she was doing now.

“Trouble is, looks like he’s right,” said Diggle, who had taken possession of the mouse and was clicking through some of the data this data worm of Oliver’s had been collecting. “Look at this stuff from Nudocerdo’s time. Missing or deleted files on police misconduct, no records of disciplinary action, which means they either didn’t discipline anybody or they don’t want people to know if an officer’s been disciplined.”

“Lucky for us, it looks like Nudocerdo’s personal devices were connected up to the police systems at some point before he was fired. The worm got into them, too. Let’s take a look at his campaign finances.”

Laurel stopped pacing in order to come stand at Oliver’s side. He rubbed a hand up and down her back once in a show of comfort which she appreciated, especially since she was sweaty so it couldn’t have been very pleasant.

“You seeing what I see?” John asked a minute later.

“Yep,” Oliver answered grimly. “Tempest.”

“And what is Tempest exactly?” Laurel asked.

Oliver blanched, and Diggle sighed and looked down. “We should’ve told you this…”

“Told me what?”

“The reason Oliver agreed to interrogating his mother as the Hood,” Digg stated. “It was cause we found out she’d recovered the Queen’s Gambit wreckage, and it proved the boat wasn’t destroyed in the storm. It was sabotaged.”

Laurel felt her mouth drop open. “Sara wouldn’t have died out there?”

“Not if the boat hadn’t been targeted, no,” Oliver said quietly. “I’m sorry.”

She stepped back, trying to reconcile this was the anger and grief and the slow sense of a new normal she had been building for herself. Her sister had been murdered. Not intentionally — in fact, she probably hadn’t even been a thought in the perpetrator’s mind. But she could have come home. They could have had it out, the betrayal and all it had done. So much could have been different; maybe her whole life. Sara would have had a life.

“Laurel?” Oliver was hanging back, clearly unsure what he should do given the subject.

“It’s fine,” she said out loud, even if it wasn’t. But they were here to work. She could deal with her feelings in her own time. “What’s this got to do with Tempest?”

“It was the name of the shell company she used to pay to have the boat moved and stored somewhere. It’s been destroyed since,” John added before she could ask. “And it looks like Tempest also made regular contributions to Nudocerdo while he was Commissioner.”

“So he wasn’t just bad at his job, he was dirty,” Laurel concluded. “What about the other cops? The detectives, captains? How many of them can we tell are on the take?”

“I’ll have to comb through the files the worm grabbed. It’s gonna takes while,” Oliver said with a grimace. “I don’t think I can patrol tonight.”

He had gone out the last couple with her as she had been showing him her own method. Looking for crime as it happened rather than setting out for a predetermined target. Laurel couldn’t tell if he liked the imprecise nature of it or not, but she didn’t think he was saying this to get out of it.

“Maybe we could see if Felicity wants back in now that we know Tempest is still involved,” Diggle suggested.

“It’s not about Walter, so I don’t see why it would interest her,” Oliver replied. “And I’d rather not risk her feeling pressured.”

He’d been touchy about the amount of people who knew his identity and what they might do with it since the memorial. Laurel couldn’t blame him. It had to feel like waiting for the other shoe to drop.

“It’s okay, I can do a solo one tonight.”

She started to walk over to her bag where she’d stored the black, gray and dark blue clothing she typically fought in, though Oliver called out to her.

“Laurel, are you gonna be okay?”

She looked back at him. “Yeah, Ollie. Just as soon as we figure out what Tempest really is and what they’re up to.”

Just how Mrs. Queen was mixed up with them? Was she Tempest or was she under their thumb? Laurel couldn’t get a read on Oliver or what he might be thinking about his mother. Did they need to question her again? And if they did, should Oliver really be the one in charge of it? She didn’t doubt he wanted the answers as much as she or John, but this was his mother. It would be hard for anything to think objectively in that situation.

She went into the back to change and headed out for the streets. Oliver had indeed upgraded her motorcycle, which had been quicker for him to do than the suit he claimed he was getting her custom made from a few different sources in order to avoid it being tracked. In some ways, she felt a little miffed that her version of things was being deemed inadequate, but Laurel knew that was pride over practicality. This was dangerous work, and it was better to have the best quality tools and materials available. 

And it wasn’t as if the stuff she had put together on her own was going totally to waste. She had kept the bike she had bought for cheap for her day job, which made getting to work quicker and also opened up the possibility for her to make deliveries. Pam had been delighted by the suggestion; a couple of her older customers couldn’t always find someone to drive them to the store, and this way new seeds, pots or plants could be delivered straight to them.

She refocused on the present as she came across a mugging, quickly driving off the attacker with the roar of her bike and her collapsible staff.

“Where were you trying to get to?” She asked the boy who had been held up. He was pale with dark blonde hair kept fairly long, sort of a bohemian-type.

“My apartment. It’s just up that way,” he said with a nod. “But thanks.”

“Don’t mention it.”

Laurel kept up her patrol, sending a couple men running from a car parked on the street they’d been trying to jack. She was finding that with her swift approach on the bike, it tended to increase her intimidation factor. That or her reputation was growing. Maybe it was a little of both, and that thought made her grin. She had gotten her own police sketch, after all, she’d been amused to find out when John told her. That made her pretty official.

It also made her her dad’s problem to target. Assuming he was even doing that thing anymore. Dirty cops or no, this sort of thing he was doing with the Hood was so beyond what she ever would’ve thought him capable of.

Or what if it wasn’t? What if it was just another ruse, an attempt to lure Ollie into a trap? That sounded more like her father. He would never ask a vigilante for help; he’d deal with the dirty cops situation on his own. What had even caused him to realize it? Maybe he’d been making it up, only for Oliver’s computer virus to lend credence to it.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a sharp whistle. Laurel glared at the mirror before catching sight of the red hoodie in its reflection. Her annoyance disappeared as she pulled the bike around and followed Roy Harper into an alley.

“Nice ride,” he commented. “Pretty sure it’s out of your price range.”

“Yes, well the Hood and I have come to an agreement of sorts.”

Roy’s eyes widened. “You’re not just working for him now.”

“We’re working together. I thought you’d be happy about this,” she remarked. “The more the Hood and I work together, the better chance I have of bringing you in on things.”

“Yeah, I mean, I do want in,” Roy agreed, scuffing his shoe on the ground. “But people need you here, you know? Stopping the small stuff. The things he doesn’t always notice.”

Laurel hesitated. She had heard more than once from people in the Glades that while they may have no objections to what the Hood did, that it wasn’t really reaching them where they lived. They weren’t exactly wrong, but there was so much about the situation they couldn’t know, that she and Oliver and John didn’t even fully know yet.

“I think he’s noticing more all the time,” she finally answered, which was the truth. Whatever her own indignation towards her father, Laurel couldn’t have imagined the Oliver of two months ago let alone last year getting involved with systemic corruption in their city’s police force. “But don’t worry. I’m not going anywhere. And I did ask him about you. He’s thinking about it.”

“Thanks,” Roy said. “Guess I should get out of here before anyone spots me with you.” He pulled his hood down further over his eyes and slipped back out into the main street. Laurel sat back on the bike seat to wait a while before heading back out there herself.

Roy’s words remained on her mind, however. What did she look like to the people who had noticed her in the Glades, zipping around on her top-of-the-line bike? Some kind of sellout? As much as she appreciated Oliver giving her access to better equipment and gear, she didn’t want people to think she was losing sight of what she had set out to do.

“That’s really what people think about me?”

She jumped, one arm already pulling back to deliver a punch before her mind caught up to the familiar voice. Laurel blinked at Oliver in surprise. “I thought you weren’t coming out tonight.”

“I ended up showing John what to look for in the files. He said he could handle it.” Oliver walked closer to her. “He also thought I should see how you were really feeling about everything.”

Laurel sighed, leaning forward on the handlebars. “What do you want me to say? I already knew my sister was dead. Now I know someone was indirectly responsible. Are you ever going to ask your mother who?”

He looked down, the hood he wore hiding his eyes. “I should. I just… something has been off about her ever since I came home. And especially since we got the news about Walter. I guess I’ve been afraid to find out what that is. I already know my father wasn’t who I thought he was. If my mother…”

Laurel reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder. In a way, she understood. After losing her mother all those years ago, she had been desperate to keep the peace with her father and probably put up with more warning signs than it was worth instead of forcing them both to acknowledge his problems. “Our parents are going to disappoint us at times. Sometimes in a bigger way than most people go through.” She doubted many people had to deal with their father using them as bait for a SWAT operation gone wrong, after all. “But it doesn’t mean the things you know about them suddenly stop mattering. Whatever else, your father loved you. Your mother loves you. And if you still want her in your life, I think you can make that happen. But ignoring the problem isn’t how to do it.”

He nodded with a sigh. “Soon as I help your father, I’ll take care of it.”

“You don’t have to do it alone.”

His lips pulled up in a half-smile. “Maybe not, but it isn’t exactly a part of your mission.”

“My ‘mission’, if we’re calling it that, is to help people. And you fall under that category,” she reminded him with a prod to his shoulder. “You’ve been doing things my way the last couple of nights. It’s only fair I return the favor. And that starts with my dad’s thing.” If he thought she was sitting on the sidelines while her dad got involved in all this, he had another thing coming.

Oliver was silent for a moment, which had her narrowing her eyes. “What?”

“Your father… he’s hoping by resolving this issue, it will mean the city won’t need people like you or me. That things can go back to normal.” He frowned. “But seeing how widespread the corruption is, everything with Tommy and my mother, I don’t know how it can.”

“And normal isn’t exactly a good thing,” Laurel pointed out.

They both looked up at the sound of a scream from what sounded a few blocks away. A depressingly normal sound in the Glades.

“No, it isn’t,” Oliver agreed grimly. He raised his bow and fired a grapple arrow. Laurel gunned the engine of her bike, and they each took off toward the sound.

Whatever came next in their personal lives, acting in the face of injustice had become their new normal. And as far as Laurel was concerned, that was definitely a good thing.

---

Quentin started in his chair early that morning when a phone in his desk drawer started buzzing. It was the vigilante phone, which meant he really shouldn’t answer it inside. He quickly stood, doing his best to avoid Hilton’s questioning look as he headed out of the bullpen and out into the back alley. He was lucky enough to find it free of anyone on their smoke break. Finally, he answered the call.

“Yeah?”

“I have the information you requested, Detective,” the archer’s modulated voice spoke. “When and where can I deliver it to you?”

He had a feeling the vigilante wouldn’t react well to an immediate request, considering how light it was outside. Harder to hide in the shadows when they weren’t nearly so deep. “Uh… tonight. Down by the docks. Eleven?”

“I’ll be there.” With that, the line disconnected.

Quentin let out a breath. Tonight. He would know just which members of the force he was part of were dirty and which weren’t. He could take the information to Pike — at least, he hoped his gut was right that Pike was one of the good ones — and they could start cleaning house and getting this city back on track the right way.

He went back to his apartment to sleep off the night shift, showered and got some food in him. Then it was all down to waiting, which felt like an eternity rather than the few hours he knew it logically was.

Quentin took his own car rather than one of the squad cars, seeing as it would attract less attention. He kept his badge tucked away for that reason as well as he made his way down to the docks. He found a stack of crates to wait by that kept him mostly shielded from the lane trucks traveled up and down picking up or dropping off shipments. Not that there was much of that going on just now, but better to be safe than sorry.

Quentin kept checking his watch. He’d shown up early, sure, but it was already five past and no sign of him. What exactly was going on here?

“Seems your friend isn’t showing, Quentin.”

He startled as a flashlight beam hit him and straightened up. “Captain Stein.”

His superior raised a hand, the signal, he realized, for a number of SWAT lead by Warner to move in, surrounding him. Quentin raised his hands; he’d be a fool to reach for his gun now.

“Just what is this?” He knew he hadn’t been followed, so where had all of them come from?

“Ever since one of the copycat’s arrows disappeared from evidence, I knew we had a leak,” Stein stated, an underlying smugness in his tone. “And given your possession of a phone with a direct line to the Hood, you were the most obvious candidate. So I ordered Brock to take it out of your desk to have Crosby in CSU put some additional spyware on it. You could say your maneuver with your daughter inspired me,” the man added with a smirk.

Quentin’s blood ran cold as he noticed Brock standing there with his weapon raised alongside Hester, Lopez and — least surprising of all — Daily. These weren’t really his people, not besides Warner, and given the harsh glare she was directing his way, he didn’t think he’d see any leniency from her. The lack of Hall, despite her recruitment to the anti-vigilante task force nearly two months ago now, told him that this was Stein’s own hand-picked crew.

“We weren’t able to crack the encryption to follow the calls back to their source, unfortunately,” Stein continued on. “But I’ll consider bringing you in just one step closer to bringing down these vigilantes.”

Denying what he had been doing would get him nowhere, so Quentin didn’t even bother. “Look, I am trying to do the same thing. By tackling the problems that created the Hood and those like him in the first place. Bringing him in by force wasn’t working.”

“Because you lacked the conviction to do what was necessary. It’s why I had Daily join the Winick Building raid.”

Quentin’s breath stuttered in his chest. “You put him there so he’d shoot my daughter?” The younger officer was smirking where he stood, and if there weren’t a dozen guns pointed at him, he might have gone for the cocky bastard.

“You’ve failed to handle the situation objectively, Detective. Things were running just fine before this vigilante menace showed up, and I intend to see it return to that no matter who gets in the way!”

“Because your backers at Tempest have an interest in seeing it return to business as usual.”

Quentin had never been so relieved to hear the vigilante’s altered voice. Apparently the guy hadn’t pulled a no-show after all.

Two flechettes were thrown into the wrists of Warner and Hester, both of whom dropped their weapons. There were a couple grunts as Quentin caught movement near the back-left of the group; two of the men had fallen down. A few more of them turned, and it was this break in the formation that allowed him to glimpse a woman standing up from a crouched sweep kick, her fists raised. Dressed in black and dark blue with a mask and long, blonde hair, Quentin knew this could only be the Woman of the Glades.

This break in the formation gave the Hood time to rappel down from the roof of the warehouse he’d been waiting on top of, though Quentin didn’t watch to see where he landed as he was busy ducking around the crates to avoid Stein’s gunfire.

He quickly got out his own handgun and raised it, peering around the side to locate his enemy. Stein had moved back, out of reach of the Hood’s blows as he engaged both Daily and Lopez at once. 

The Woman had gotten possession of one of the SWAT shields and was using it as a battering ram on one side while she swung a staff with her free hand, throwing men twice her size to the ground. Quentin watched, however, as Cutter — the department’s first ever female SWAT member, battered the Woman back with her own shield. The Woman stumbled but kept her feet, her head giving a dazed shake for a moment. The two then circled each other before each charged.

Quentin circled around the other side of the crates, doing his best to crouch low in the hopes of getting the drop on Stein. The captain noticed him at the last second, forcing Quentin into a drop and roll as he fired on him.

“Attacking your own, Lance?”

“Trying to put a stop to this before anyone’s seriously hurt!” He called back. These people would have had enough evidence on him to arrest him at the station, but they’d waited to stage a sting operation with the clear intent of getting him and the Hood, and he doubted they’d stop at the Woman, since she’d been good enough to show. There weren’t rubber bullets in those guns, either, and judging by Stein’s attempt on his life just now, the order was shoot to kill.

An arrow sailed through the night and hit Stein’s gun, making him drop it. Quentin charged forward, knocking the older man to the ground and rolling him onto his chest. He wrenched Stein’s arms behind his back and got out his cuffs.

“If you’ve been listening to that phone since the Winick Building, then you could’ve shown up to catch him at Merlyn Global. But you didn’t, because it wasn’t personal yet, was it? You got nervous when I asked him for help rooting out corruption. Well, I’m gonna look through the evidence, find out just what this Tempest is and then it’ll be over for you and them!”

He looked up to take stock on the situation. Officers were either knocked out or tied up with those cable arrow things. The Hood was lifting Cutter up and away from the Woman, who had a split lip. She hauled back and punched the SWAT officer right in the face.

Quentin stood up. “Hey!” He didn’t need them doing that!

The Woman startled and looked away from him, her shoulders hunched. There was something almost sheepish in the gesture. He could also see a small tear in the shoulder of her jacket.

The Hood placed Cutter back on the ground considering she was knocked out cold. Then he walked over towards Quentin, his head ducked to avoid showing much more than his chin.

“This flash drive contains everything you’ll need.”

Quentin took it with a nod of thanks. He couldn’t help noticing that the Woman was already retreating back towards where he could just see the handlebar of a motorbike sticking out from the shadow of a building. Even less talkative than the Hood, apparently. Though that didn’t match the scant reports about her they’d gotten.

Before the Hood could take his leave as well, Quentin gestured towards her retreating form. “So is this, uh, a regular thing now?”

“It won’t be easy cleaning up the corruption and its effects on this city, Detective. You’ll need people like me and her for a while yet.”

It was the opposite of what he had wanted to hear tonight. But the one comfort he could draw was that the Hood sounded far from smug about it. He likely longed for the days when this city wouldn’t need him, too.

“Alright. I better call this in.” He turned away to get out his radio and heard the Hood depart. Now what the hell was he going to say about all this exactly? Best thing to do, request Hilt and see what he thought.

Predictably, his partner felt Quentin had landed them in a whole heap of trouble. “Even if what’s on that flash drive is a hundred percent genuine, you did agree to meet with a vigilante to get it, Quentin. What are we supposed to say to Pike about that?”

“Pike’s gonna have to accept that cops on some special interest group’s payroll is a bigger problem.”

Sooner than he would have liked, they had more officers on the scene to help get the injured parties treatment and to bring Stein, at the very least, in. It turned out he hadn’t put this little raid on the books, so it wasn’t only Quentin who would be answering some awkward questions.

To his great relief, Kelton took the flash drive. He made the CSU promise to guard it with his life. Quentin didn’t doubt that Crosby or someone else in on all this would love to make it disappear.

He sat waiting inside Pike’s office for the rest of that night, waiting for his direct superior to go through all of the evidence and question who he needed to. Quentin knew this probably didn’t look great for him, but he also knew he had done the right thing, and if he could just convince Frank of that, then maybe he might walk out of here a free man.

His real phone buzzed with a text just as the early light of dawn was creeping in through the window. Quentin glanced at it, saw Laurel’s name, and sat up to rub at his eyes. It read how’s everything?

He felt the corner of his mouth twitch. Somehow his girl always knew when to check on him. He considered it a good thing Laurel was actually reaching out considering they’d still only made a few halting attempts each to patch things up. Quentin wrote back, long night, but fine. At least he hoped it would be. But considering he hadn’t been hauled into a holding cell yet, he had hope.

Like a summons, the thought was immediately followed by Pike opening the door to his office and coming around to his side of the desk. A large folder was under his arm that he set down and opened.

“Quentin,” his long-time superior sighed. “This would’ve been easier if you would have just come to me.”

“Maybe, but sir, I did point out my concerns about Daily in particular to you, which you said you couldn’t do anything about. Now we both know why. Stein was protecting his man.”

“But a vigilante? The same vigilante you told me you didn’t want to give up hunting even when I scaled back the taskforce!”

He winced. “Things… changed. I realized I needed someone independent to look into what was going on here. What did Kelton find on that flash drive? Did it say what this Tempest is?”

“I already know what Tempest is,” Frank answered.

That caused his mouth to snap shut for a moment. “What do you mean, ‘you know’?”

“I mean I was informed about this Tempest just this past evening,” the Lieutenant clarified. “If I’d known it related to the vigilante case, I would have called you in.”

Quentin sat back. “Well, hang on, what is it really about?”

“It appears there is a group of the city’s most wealthy who got together to form a bloq,” Pike explained. He passed over the file, and Quentin took it, flipping through. The bribes were there, though not just to the SCPD. As he continued reading, he also came upon a record of property purchases in the Glades. “They’ve been behind a lot of the decisions made in the last several years, deciding what they think is best. And I have to warn you, Quentin, their end goal is… I’m still having trouble wrapping my head around it.”

He flipped another page and came upon schematics. Bomb schematics.

“What the… what the hell were they doing with this?”

“Nothing, yet. We were informed about this with enough time to do something. Now that you and, well, the vigilantes, have taken care of the people on the inside here that were working for them, we’ve got the upper hand. Now my source has identified the ringleader of this high society club, and I’m sending you and Hilton with backup to make the arrest.” Frank leaned forward. “You pull this off, Quentin, and no one’s going to care who you’ve been enlisting off the books. We’ll be heroes.”

He opened his mouth to tell his superior to get on with it and tell him who they were bringing in, but then he turned the final page. Quentin froze, his eyes widening.

“I’ll be damned…”

He should have known.

---

Thea relaxed on her bed, taking full advantage of the day off from community service. She was enjoying CNRI more now that Joanna was back and they occasionally actually did stuff, but she wouldn’t be a normal teenager if she wanted to work every single day. Besides, she had a kind of special event planned.

Thea was finally introducing her newly-christened boyfriend Roy to her mother. Thea had never bothered running her previous relationships past her mom, partly because she’d thought she hadn’t cared and partly because Thea hadn’t wanted it to be anyone’s business but hers. But if Walter’s loss had reminded her of anything, it was that you never knew how long you had with family. And truthfully, she thought it might bring her mom some comfort to know that Thea had someone special in her life.

She’d bullied Ollie into promising he would actually show for this since he had a bad habit of ditching family functions at the last second. It had helped that she had pointed out he and Laurel had ditched them at Mr. Merlyn’s memorial, and thus she and their mom hadn’t had the chance to catch up with what appeared to be a rekindling of their own relationship. So Oliver was supposed to be bringing both Laurel and Roy over to the manor.

Thea heard the sound of tires on the drive, so she quickly got up, checked her hair in the mirror and then raced out of her room and down the steps. Just as she reached the foyer, she heard a knock on the other side of the front door. That was weird, unless Ollie was making Roy knock in some stupid big brother intimidation routine.

She wrenched open the door, the smile freezing on her face when she found not her boyfriend, brother and his girlfriend waiting for her, but Detective Lance and his partner Hilton. Both officers grimaced at the sight of her.

“Is something wrong?”

“Where is your mother, Miss Queen?” Detective Hilton asked calmly. Thea couldn’t help noticing, however, that there was another car and two more officers waiting further down the drive.

“She’s, uh—”

“I’m right here.” When she turned around, she saw her mother descending the stairs in an outfit she called her ‘casual best’. Thea had already told her Roy had never had much money. “Can I help you with something, officers?”

Thea watched as Lance gave a shake of his head. “Let’s not drag this out in front of your daughter, alright? You’re coming downtown with us.”

“Wait, what?” Thea asked, only to be forced back as both Lance and Hilton pushed their way through the door, Hilton taking out a pair of handcuffs.

“You must be very mistaken,” her mother said gravely, though Thea couldn’t help noticing how very pale she looked.

“Not unless the thing we found them building at Unidac was actually a piñata,” Lance quipped. “Moira Queen, you’re under arrest for kidnapping, murder, conspiracy to commit murder, hiring an assassin, and conspiracy to commit mass murder. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.”

“Murder?” Thea echoed, somehow both hoarse and shrill at the same time. “No, no that’s crazy.”

“Miss Queen, if you could stay back,” Detective Hilton requested, gently buffeting her aside when she tried to move towards her mother, who had frozen in shock and only started moving when Lance marched her along with one hand under her arm.

“Mom!”

“Stay- stay in the house, baby,” her mother called over her shoulder.

Thea followed them out to the front stoop, her hands pressing to either side of her head as she watched them put her unresisting mother into the back of a squad car and drive away. The other two officers came inside and went up the steps, heading in the direction of her mother’s office.

How could this be happening again? Was she going insane with her life just repeating itself in circles? Her dad dying, Walter dying; Oliver being arrested for murder, her mother being arrested for murder. And how did that make any sense?

What was she supposed to do? Did she call Jean? Ollie? Thea sunk down onto the front step, her knees to her chest as cries were choked out of her.

How could everything have changed so fast and so horribly?

[the-end-of-art]

To find our way back to each other

From Listening to Shame TED Talk by Brené Brown (https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_listening_to_shame/transcript)

12:07

There's a great quote that saved me this past year by Theodore Roosevelt. A lot of people refer to it as the "Man in the Arena" quote. And it goes like this: "It is not the critic who counts. It is not the man who sits and points out how the doer of deeds could have done things better and how he falls and stumbles. The credit goes to the man in the arena whose face is marred with dust and blood and sweat. But when he's in the arena, at best, he wins, and at worst, he loses, but when he fails, when he loses, he does so daring greatly."

12:47

And that's what this conference, to me, is about. Life is about daring greatly, about being in the arena. When you walk up to that arena and you put your hand on the door, and you think, "I'm going in and I'm going to try this," shame is the gremlin who says, "Uh, uh. You're not good enough. You never finished that MBA. Your wife left you. I know your dad really wasn't in Luxembourg, he was in Sing Sing. I know those things that happened to you growing up. I know you don't think that you're pretty, smart, talented or powerful enough. I know your dad never paid attention, even when you made CFO." Shame is that thing.

13:28

And if we can quiet it down and walk in and say, "I'm going to do this," we look up and the critic that we see pointing and laughing, 99 percent of the time is who? Us. Shame drives two big tapes -- "never good enough" -- and, if you can talk it out of that one, "who do you think you are?" The thing to understand about shame is, it's not guilt. Shame is a focus on self, guilt is a focus on behavior. Shame is "I am bad." Guilt is "I did something bad." How many of you, if you did something that was hurtful to me, would be willing to say, "I'm sorry. I made a mistake?" How many of you would be willing to say that? Guilt: I'm sorry. I made a mistake. Shame: I'm sorry. I am a mistake.

14:21

There's a huge difference between shame and guilt. And here's what you need to know. Shame is highly, highly correlated with addiction, depression, violence, aggression, bullying, suicide, eating disorders. And here's what you even need to know more. Guilt, inversely correlated with those things. The ability to hold something we've done or failed to do up against who we want to be is incredibly adaptive. It's uncomfortable, but it's adaptive.

14:56

The other thing you need to know about shame is it's absolutely organized by gender. If shame washes over me and washes over Chris, it's going to feel the same. Everyone sitting in here knows the warm wash of shame. We're pretty sure that the only people who don't experience shame are people who have no capacity for connection or empathy. Which means, yes, I have a little shame; no, I'm a sociopath. So I would opt for, yes, you have a little shame. Shame feels the same for men and women, but it's organized by gender.

15:30

For women, the best example I can give you is Enjoli, the commercial. "I can put the wash on the line, pack the lunches, hand out the kisses and be at work at five to nine. I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in the pan and never let you forget you're a man." For women, shame is, do it all, do it perfectly and never let them see you sweat. I don't know how much perfume that commercial sold, but I guarantee you, it moved a lot of antidepressants and anti-anxiety meds.

16:04

(Laughter)

16:08

Shame, for women, is this web of unobtainable, conflicting, competing expectations about who we're supposed to be. And it's a straight-jacket.

16:20

For men, shame is not a bunch of competing, conflicting expectations. Shame is one, do not be perceived as what? Weak. I did not interview men for the first four years of my study. It wasn't until a man looked at me after a book signing, and said, "I love what say about shame, I'm curious why you didn't mention men." And I said, "I don't study men." And he said, "That's convenient."

16:46

(Laughter)

16:49

And I said, "Why?" And he said, "Because you say to reach out, tell our story, be vulnerable. But you see those books you just signed for my wife and my three daughters?" I said, "Yeah." "They'd rather me die on top of my white horse than watch me fall down. When we reach out and be vulnerable, we get the shit beat out of us. And don't tell me it's from the guys and the coaches and the dads. Because the women in my life are harder on me than anyone else."

17:26

So I started interviewing men and asking questions. And what I learned is this: You show me a woman who can actually sit with a man in real vulnerability and fear, I'll show you a woman who's done incredible work. You show me a man who can sit with a woman who's just had it, she can't do it all anymore, and his first response is not, "I unloaded the dishwasher!"

17:53

(Laughter)

17:54

But he really listens -- because that's all we need -- I'll show you a guy who's done a lot of work.

18:00

Shame is an epidemic in our culture. And to get out from underneath it -- to find our way back to each other, we have to understand how it affects us and how it affects the way we're parenting, the way we're working, the way we're looking at each other. Very quickly, some research by Mahalik at Boston College. He asked, what do women need to do to conform to female norms? The top answers in this country: nice, thin, modest and use all available resources for appearance.

18:35

(Laughter)

18:37

When he asked about men, what do men in this country need to do to conform with male norms, the answers were: always show emotional control, work is first, pursue status and violence.

18:51

If we're going to find our way back to each other, we have to understand and know empathy, because empathy's the antidote to shame. If you put shame in a Petri dish, it needs three things to grow exponentially: secrecy, silence and judgment. If you put the same amount in a Petri dish and douse it with empathy, it can't survive. The two most powerful words when we're in struggle: me too.

19:16

And so I'll leave you with this thought. If we're going to find our way back to each other, vulnerability is going to be that path. And I know it's seductive to stand outside the arena, because I think I did it my whole life, and think to myself, I'm going to go in there and kick some ass when I'm bulletproof and when I'm perfect. And that is seductive. But the truth is, that never happens. And even if you got as perfect as you could and as bulletproof as you could possibly muster when you got in there, that's not what we want to see. We want you to go in. We want to be with you and across from you. And we just want, for ourselves and the people we care about and the people we work with, to dare greatly.

[tedwoodward]

Schrödinger

Summary: Ted takes Charlotte to a local diner to help distract her from thinking about Sam

Note: inspired by this post

tw for a very brief mention of dieting and wanting to lose weight

read on ao3

“Ugh, seriously? Why does EVERYONE suddenly want coffee at the same fucking time today?” Ted groaned as he walked into the office kitchen to see that a line had formed as a new pot of coffee was being brewed.

“I just need one more cup to get me through these reports for Mr. Davidson,” sighed Paul from the end of the line, twiddling his thumbs on his coffee mug.

Ted rolled his eyes and took a seat at the table. No way was he going to stand around in line with four other people getting coffee in front of him. He was not patient enough for this.

He brought his arm up, checking the time on his watch: 3:48. Huffing, Ted contemplated how much he truly wanted this coffee. Then again, it was an excuse to get away from his computer and the stale air in his cubicle, so he stayed.

He turned his attention back to his coworkers to hear a conversation being continued that he must have interrupted with his entrance. And, boy, was tuning back in a mistake on his part.

“But, no, man, you’re forgetting the timeframe thing. That’s like the whole point of Schrödinger’s Cat. By a specific point not only will the radioactive isotope decay, forcing the poison to kill the cat, but if you leave it in there long enough, the cat’s gonna starve! So if you’re inactive and apolitical for a long period of time, you’re solidifying the fate of the cat.”

“Dude, the ‘whole point’ of Schrödinger’s Cat is that because you don’t know when exactly the decay is going to occur, there is a time when the cat is both alive and dead before you check on it. You’re looking at it the complete wrong way. It’s not talking about whether the cat is gonna survive or not. But either way, it’s not a real cat, so who cares?”

“I’m not saying the cat’s real, I’m saying this works for other situations in addition to quantum mechanics.”

“Okay, yeah, but you’re clearly misinterpreting it. Just find another analogy for whatever you’re saying at this point—”

By the time Ted got his coffee, he was going to explode. If it was possible for your eyes to pop out of your head just from rolling them, Ted would have gone blind the second those two opened their mouths. His loud sighs and glares had done nothing to dissuade them from continuing their nerdy argument. Ted now needed a break from his break.

Leaving the idiots in the kitchen, he decided to take a lap round the office, stretch out his legs, you know. He just so happened to pass by Charlotte as she was on the phone, ending a call. Ted decided to take a detour over to her desk just because it had been a while since he had last bugged her. Not because of any additional reason, no sirree.

He lingered a few feet from her station, sipping at his coffee as he waited for her to finish the call. He might be an asshole, but he wasn’t gonna interrupt a conversation with a client. And maybe he just wanted to look at her for a second. Not in a creepy way, just in a… Ted way. Okay, not like the usual Ted way that is also creepy. Just in a… way.

“Al-alright, well, I love you. And I’ll see you later tonight then, sweetheart.” Charlotte hung up the phone, letting out a deep sigh.

“Y’know, I don’t think you’re supposed to take personal calls on these phones,” Ted said as he sauntered over to her desk, startling Charlotte from her daze.

“Oh! Ted. Well, you know Sam…” She didn’t offer any further explanation. She stared off into space for a moment, looking at nothing in particular, and after a moment she seemed to shake herself out of it. “Well, I better get back to work.” She tried to busy herself, but Ted stopped her by moving even closer to her and setting his mug on her desk.

With one hand on the back of her chair, one hand on his hip, and a foot kicked over the other, he leaned down to speak closer to her ear. “So… no plans after work it sounds like?”

Charlotte glanced in Ted’s direction, “Well, Sam won’t be getting back till late this evening. Sudden extra work-load.” Something felt off, but he tried again.

“Hm. Sounds like you have a few free hours then,” Ted smirked at her, a sly smile spreading across his face.

Charlotte wasn’t meeting his eyes. His smile faltered. Normally she would continue the banter or at least push him away if she wasn’t down for it. Something was wrong.

“Charlotte?” He asked, the amount of sincerity in his voice shocking even him. “Hey, is everything alright?”

“Hmm? Oh, yes, everything’s fine, just fine.” Ted could see her fingers twitching for a cigarette and knew there was an issue she wasn’t telling him about.

“Is it Sam?” He hazarded a guess. “C’mon, you know you can’t lie to me.”

Charlotte turned her chair to properly face him, Ted no longer leaning against her. She slowly brought her face up to meet his eyes, and he could see they were red.

“Oh, I’m sure it’s nothing, but…” she sniffled and looked away. “Oh, well, when I was on the phone with Sam, I-. Oh, this is going to sound crazy, but I—I could hear that… he wasn’t at work. And-and-and I know that’s stupid, because he isn’t always at the precinct during the day; that’s part of his job, but…. And I may just be imagining things, but… I’m not certain he was on duty. A-and I’m pretty sure I heard some… strange music. That kind of modern, young pop music? Not that there’s anything wrong with it, but that’s just not Sam’s music. And I, well—”

“Hey, hey, hey, Charlotte?” She stopped stuttering through her explanation and returned Ted’s gaze. He looked at her for a moment. “So, you think he’s with Her again, huh?”

She looked away. With her eyes closed, she nodded minutely, trying to control her breathing.

“Well, hey. Fuck him, all right? He doesn’t know what he’s missing out on. He’s an asshole anyways. He doesn’t deserve you.” That last part slipped out, and Ted looked away. Charlotte blushed as he tried to sweep that moment under the rug. “You know what? You need a distraction. Let’s grab dinner after we’re done today.” Ted looked at Charlotte as her gaze finally met his again.

This was new. They had never really done anything… non-sexual before. Their relationship to this point had been originally one-sided advances and flirtatious behavior from Ted up until Charlotte out of the blue took him up on the offer. Since then it’s all just been sex. Sex when Charlotte was angry, sex when Charlotte was sad, sex when Charlotte was lonely, sex when Charlotte was horny, sex when Charlotte was bored. There was no romance; you could barely say any part of their relationship was even platonic. And they had never risked going out in public before.

“Dinner, Ted? I’m a married woman, remember?” Charlotte reminded him. “I do not go out on dates with men that are not my husband.” Funny how that’s where she drew the line, Ted thought.

“Nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-no, see I was thinking of going to that shitty diner across from that fancy Italian place on 45. Not a date. Not a big deal,” Ted reassured her nonchalantly.

“Oh… well, I suppose that would be alright. We do have some leftovers in the fridge Sam can heat up when he gets home. But just dinner—”

Ted stopped her before she could lay down any more rules, “Great! I’ll stop by when I’m done for the day.”

And with that, he was gone, grabbing his mug from her desk and throwing up a peace sign as he walked away.

Not a date. Ted wasn’t sure who he had directed that thought to, but it persisted in his mind as he walked away.

The rest of the work day wrapped up soon enough, and their coworkers began taking off. It was only a matter of time before Ted strolled back over to Charlotte’s desk, bag strung over his shoulder.

“Ready?” He asked, glancing at his watch, his put-on air of indifference betrayed by a small bounce in his step.

They were off a few moments later once Charlotte gathered her stuff. Ted led her to his car as Charlotte silently thanked the parking lot for being fairly empty of others. She did not want to attract attention to the fact that she was getting into a car with Ted Richards, the office flirt, who was known to have slept with at least half of the employees at CCRP beginning day one of his employment. Okay, yeah, whatever that would suggest was totally happening, but she still didn’t need it getting around the office.

The drive was uneventful. Charlotte sat stiffly in the passenger seat as Ted drove, her eyes glossed over, staring out the window, and worrying her lip between her teeth, still thinking about Sam. Ted silently acknowledged this but didn’t say anything about it. Instead he talked the entire drive, just rambling on about anything and everything apart from that, starting with those two idiots from the kitchen earlier in the day. Who gives a fuck about Schrödinger’s Cat anyways? You’re not in AP Psych anymore, you’re not tricking anyone into thinking you’re smart. They all ended up at CCRP anyhow, so no one gives a shit.

After a while his ranting died down, and they pulled into another parking lot.

“Alright, we’re here.”

Charlotte shook herself from her inattentive state and glanced up at the building they were parked in front of. ‘Annie’s Diner’, the sign read. She couldn’t recall ever eating there before, but she recognized the name. Still in a bit of a daze, she got out of the car and walked towards the entrance with Ted.

Ted opened the door, letting Charlotte go first (who says he can’t be a gentleman from time to time?), and an easy smile slid onto his face as he followed her into the diner.

He led them to a seemingly specific table inside, and the pair slid into the booth, Charlotte’s attention still clearly elsewhere. She tried to look at her menu, but all she could think about was Sam. Sam cancelling on her. Sam never being there. Sam being with that… girl. Leaving her alone. No, not alone. She’s with Ted right now. Who she has slept with. Multiple times. Who she’s cheating on Sam with. Just as Sam’s doing with Her. How can she feel hurt? What was she doing? What makes her husband’s affair worse than her’s? What kind of wife was she?

“All right,” Ted said, grabbing the menu from her hands, shaking her back to reality. “That’s enough. You’re thinking too much.” Placing the menu back behind the condiments with the others, he took Charlotte’s hands in his own. “Look, we’re here to forget about him, and you’re obviously not doing a very good job at that.”

Charlotte eyes met Ted’s, and she smiled sadly as a sort of apology.

He tapped his hands over hers a few times. “Today, we focus on having a good time, we focus on eating greasy food, and we focus on not overthinking things. All right?” Ted declared, releasing her hands in favor of returning her menu.

At that moment a lovely-looking, older woman appeared next to their booth.

“Why, hello there again, Ted. How are you doing this fine evening?” she asked, obviously familiar with the man.

“Doin’ all right, Miss Julie. About to be even better now that I’m at the best diner in the country,” he schmoozed, grinning playfully up at her.

She smacked him lightly with her notepad, “Oh, Teddy, you really are a flirt. What’re you doing talking like that in front of your friend here?” She playfully scolded him and turned her attention to Charlotte, “How you doing, sweetie? My name’s Julie, and I’ll be serving you today.” She offered a sweet smile, and Charlotte couldn’t help but smile back, no matter how absent her mind was. That kind of pure joy and loveliness was powerful. Charlotte yearned for the time in her life when she was that much of a source of joy.

Alongside some playful banter with Ted, Julie took their drink orders (Charlotte asked for just water at first, but after a raised eyebrow from Ted the orders became one strawberry milkshake for her and one chocolate milkshake, no whipped cream for him) and left the two alone, a small, genuine smile on her face to see him with someone.

Lord knows Ted needed company, and so did the staff at Annie’s. He was a regular and would come into the diner after work twice a week give or take for about a year or so. He quickly charmed his way to the hearts of the entire staff, but behind his flirtatious and cocky exterior they could see how lonely he was. Going every week after work? Must not have anyone to go home to. The staff easily warmed up to him and enjoyed lollygagging by his booth for some fun banter, and they savored the rare true smiles he afforded them (as opposed to the smirk normally plastered across his face during the work day). He seemed to enjoy it as well; they made his solitary dinners more enjoyable, and at Annie’s he found a sense of family.

As Miss Julie retreated, Charlotte had a playful smile on her face at Ted’s slightly-reddened cheeks.

“I thought you called this a ‘shitty’ diner,” Charlotte laughed, “Seems like you enjoy it more than you’re letting on.”

Ted tried to wave her off. “Looks shitty. Heart, and food, of gold, though.” He buried his face in his menu, as if he didn’t have it memorized by that point.

Charlotte giggled some more as she copied him. The two studied their menus in silence, comfortable in the mood that had settled between them.

Moments later, Julie came back with their shakes in hand. “Alright, well I know Ted’s ready, but how about you, ma’am? Any questions for me or are you good to order?”

Truth be told, Charlotte was torn over what to get. She’d been trying to eat better lately, hoping that by some chance, if she lost a bit of weight, it would help her husband care about her again, so initially she had been looking at the salad options. But Ted did say today was about eating greasy food, and she had to be honest, the burgers on the menu looked absolutely delightful. After a glance at her dinner partner she made her decision. Burger it is!

Julie correctly guessed what Ted was getting on her first try (“Honey Barbecue Chicken Wings and a side of tater tots?” “You got it, honey.”) and left to send their orders to the kitchen. Once again the pair sat in silence as Ted unwrapped his straw and swirled it around his milkshake. After a moment, Charlotte spoke up.

“Ted?”

“Hm?” he grunted in response, still playing with his straw.

“Why’d you bring me here?”

This stopped him. Sensing where she was leading the conversation, Ted built up a wall. He scoffed, “Um, for food? Duh.”

Charlotte shook her head and mimicked his earlier move by holding his hand that had been laying on top of the table. His eyes were immediately drawn to where she touched him tenderly. “This place is clearly special to you. Why me? Why am I the one you’re sharing this with?”

Ted stared at their hands a moment longer before taking a deep breath. He glanced up and looked into Charlotte’s eyes, imploring and curious. He squeezed her hand before letting go and moving both of his hands under the table, out of her reach.

“I’m an asshole. I know that, you know that, everyone knows that. I can’t say I even have work friends unless Paul counts, and even then…” he trailed off, catching himself, and getting back on track. “But, yeah. I guess it’s nice to have a place where I can just kinda live. A sorta… home? That sounds stupid. Somewhere I feel appreciated, I don’t know. And I guess I feel safe sharing this place with you. And I wanted you to see it because… I want you to have a place like this too.”

He kept his gaze purposefully away from Charlotte through his explanation, only locking eyes again when he finished, hesitant to see her reaction. He could never tell when he was crossing a line. Where their relationship stopped and became far too close for Charlotte’s comfort. When it felt real, like something she should get from Sam.

But to his relief she was smiling at him, eyes glossy with tears to see another side of him that he didn’t show much.

“That and the fact that I totally owe Annie’s a gold-star recommendation and a new customer,” Ted continued playfully. “It’s the least I could do for them putting up with me all the time. I bug these people with my presence far too often and my patronage can only get them so far.”

“Now, Ted, I’d hardly say calling this a ‘shitty diner’ is a ‘gold-star recommendation’,” Charlotte teased.

“Hey,” Ted quirked his head to the side and winked, smirking at her from across the booth, “still got you here, didn’t I?”

With the playful mood set, dinner continued easily, both parties much more present than they had been previously. Their food came, they ate, and the pair realized how easy it was for the two of them. Their previously-only-sexual and never-before-platonic relationship was working well in this new setting. They could just live and eat greasy food and be really messy and gross and it was fine, preferred even.

As their meal came to a close, Julie brought over coffee for the pair.

They had had a good time. Ted was beginning to think his earlier statement of not having any work friends may be marked untrue after this evening. He glanced over at Charlotte, busy fixing her coffee to her taste. He watched, and an amused grin slid over his face as she poured an obscene amount of sugar into her mug. God, she’s adorable, Ted thought.

Charlotte felt his attention and glanced up, cheeks reddening, embarrassed by her unhealthy coffee preference (although Ted was one to talk if you asked her).

Their eyes met, and Ted was struck speechless. A shy laugh graced Charlotte’s lips as they looked at each other, and Ted nearly swooned.

If they had been in any other situation he would have reacted differently. If they had been in private, Ted would have kissed her then and there, able to cover up his feelings with his libido. If she had not been married, he would have been professing his love on bended knee for the entire world to hear, because, God, she was beautiful and sweet and charming and witty, and fucking Sam didn’t deserve her. He would say those three words, and she would say them back, and their love would be so great even his cynicism couldn’t deny it.

But that was not the case. Even if he did bite the bullet and tell her his feelings, there was no way she would respond likewise. She was married. No matter how she felt. No matter how shitty Sam was to her. No matter how much he wanted to hear it. No matter how much she wanted to say it. She wouldn’t. She’d never leave him.

Instead he caught sight of his balled-up straw wrapper centimeters from his hand and flicked it at her. It bounced off her sweater and into the abyss under the table.

“Wha? Ted!” Charlotte gasped, putting aside the sugar in favor of the wrapper next to her mug.

She only took a second to crumple it up before throwing it at him, which resulted in the wrapper barely flying, missing Ted completely, and falling onto the table in front of him.

Ted laughed at her failed attempt at retaliation. The pair smiled at each other, and the playful dynamic returned.

Ted decided he could live. He didn’t need to hear her confess her love to him. He didn’t need reality to slap him in the face. He could live in blissful ignorance about their relationship. They didn’t need a label. They didn’t need to communicate their feelings. Ted wasn’t sure he would be able to handle that. So he decided to keep it simple. He could believe whatever he wanted about their relationship for as long as he wanted, and he’d be fine as long as he didn’t ask for clarification. He didn’t want to know the truth.

[oh-theatre]

Sycamore High: Sound it Out (Chapter 19)

A/N: This might be one of my favorite chapters, but here's the end of the night and the return of a certain be-speckled boy so... ALSO, I FINALLY FIGURED OUT A NICKNAME THAT TED WOULD CALL TOMMY AND I FIND IT ADORABLE

summary: Ted and Tommys night takes an unexpected turn for the worse

words: 3,171

warnings: swearing, kissing, blood mention, punching, HOMOPHOBIA, HOMOPHOBIC SLURS, negative thoughts

Ao3 Link

“I really do not like musicals” Ted comments shaking his head, they laugh walking out of the theatre. Tommy smiles, playing with Ted's fingers in his own hand. He leans in a little closer, his walk becoming tired. Ted looks down “You ok there gumdrop?” Ted asks as they walk back. The beautiful sunny day, slowing its course becoming a calm night. A cool wind blows the pair as they walk through the silent streets. Tommy yawns leaning in a little more, eyes drooping.

“Mmhm” He hums in response “Just tired, dearest” Tommy yawns again, Ted chuckles softly watching Tommy's hair fall softly into his eyes. He pushes them out of the way and supports Tommy a little more. Happy to carry his boyfriend all the way home, offering his weight. Ted walks peacefully with Tommy practically asleep on his side. He hears the smaller boy humming softly, Ted recognizes the song from the musical they just saw. Ted listens hoping nothing breaks the graceful tune that plays. But alas, all good things must come to an end.

“Hey! Fag!” A sharp voice yells from behind the pair, Ted feels his heart drop. A perfect picture, in a broken frame.

No

No

No

Ted keeps walking, feeling himself pick up the pace still supporting Tommy. He can sense the people behind him, Tommy perks up a bit looking confused. He pauses, stopping the pair in their tracks. He looks up sleepily at Ted.

“What's up buttercup?” He yawns his words “Why are we rushing?” Ted shifts uncomfortably. He stares behind Tommy noticing two figures approaching out of the clear space. Tommy notices and looks behind him. “Who are they?” He asks more aware. Ted shakes his head and Tommy understands. He takes his hand once more and they continue walking, the men still trailing behind. The apartment feels as far away as ever.

“Hey! Didn't you hear us?” The men shout, Tommy feels Ted tighten his grip. They struggle to keep going as the men continue to call out to them, yelling slurs and insults left and right. “Hey, you two! Holding hands” Ted shuts his eyes tight but keeps going, he just wants to go home.

“Hey, I've got you, ok?” Tommy whispers soothingly, noticing Ted's face. Ted tilts his head, nodding gratefully. Ted feels his phone buzzes, and he quickly checks it. He shows the map to Tommy, who smiles reassuringly. “Look, we’re almost home” Ted nods. He checks his messages and responds quickly, in the small clearing they've gotten too far away from the men.

Chad: Hey kiddos! Just wanted to check in a see what your ETA on the movie was!

Ted feels a small weight lift from his shoulder seeing the normality return. He responds quickly.

SB: Just finished, walking home now.

He pockets his phone at the sound of nearby rustling and they continue walking. They slow their pace, still alert. The men are nowhere to be seen, the boys take a breath. The night rolls in faster now, the starless sky shining once more. Ted smiles up at them and counts as many as he can, just like mom said. They continue as Tommy returns to his dazed state and Ted counts as many as he can. His record was 126, his moms was 243. Although Ted still thinks she made that up. He laughs softly to himself recalling his mother. He feels his chest slow, returning to normal and his breath sounds at a manageable pace.

“Hey! Didn’t you hear me you fucking fag” The men jump in front of the pair, Ted can see their faces now. Ted jumps back instinctively taking Tommy who becomes alert once more. He examines the men and unexpectedly Ted can feel Tommy shy away. He puts an arm protectively around him, Tommy clutches on.

“Leave us alone” Ted manages, surprised at the own confidence from his own voice, Tommy nods in agreement still hiding. The men erupt into obnoxious laughter taking slow steps forward, Ted squints, the dark light makes it harder to see their faces.

“Why? So you can go back to holding hands?” Another man speaks up, the left one snickers at his own remarks. “Nah I don't think so, I think I need to teach you queers a lesson” Ted can hear cracking, the man was cracking his fists. Ted backed away still protecting Tommy. He scanned his surroundings, find a way out. Suddenly a giant pressure hits his face and he stumbles backward, losing his connection to Tommy. He flails helplessly for Tommy, he can hear a sudden ringing as he hits the ground. He can hear noises, talking, shouting, fear rises within him. He tries to call for Tommy, but his voice is hoarse. He shuts his eyes trying to ground himself, instead met with a heavy pressure and a struggle to stay conscious.

~~~

“Oh my god!” Emma laughs still recovering “That was hilarious!” Paul nods also laughing. They exit the restaurant thanking their host. They sigh making their way to the parking lot where Paul had parked. The cool night sent a chill down the pairs back, but it was refreshing. They settle back into the car still riding the high of that fulfilling dinner.  

“I’m glad you enjoyed it, I was pretty nervous” Paul admits, pulling out of the lot. Emma smiles coyly, she watches his movements, catching his eye.

“I loved it! I haven’t been out for dinner since…” she ponders for a moment “Oh gosh, since forever. It was my sister's favorite thing to do” she perks up excited, Paul scrunched his brows, sister? “Every Friday she would try and find a place we hadn’t eaten at before and we would have to go” Emma explains, cheery. “The last place we went was…” something falters as Emma pauses. She swallows hoping Paul was to busy driving to notice. He does but decides to focus on the empty road in front of him.

“How was your food?” He asks trying to divert the conversation, not wanting to make Emma unhappy. She smiles gratefully nodding.

“It was good, I definitely ordered the right thing,” She says checking her messages, quickly responding to her mother's texts. She also takes a quick moment to text Charlotte back, smiling all the way through their conversation. She tucks her phone away turning back to Paul. “So tell me, Matthews, what happens now?”

“Now, I take you home,” He says, she looks around recognizing her surroundings. Watching familiar neighborhood houses go by.

“Then what happens?” She asks as they pull into her driveway. Paul smirks getting out of the car, helping Emma out. She gracefully accepts and they walk silently to her front door. “Paul?” He takes a deep breath, looking around him. He meets her eyes once more smiling.

“Then,” He says slowly, leaning in closer. He takes her hands, ignoring the blush creeping upon his face. He pushes a loose strand of her out of her face. “Then...I do this” He says practically speaking upon her lips. He cups her face, slowly bringing it to his own and allowing their lips to meet. It lasts a short beautiful moment before the door swings open and they pull apart quickly. Turning away from the door, hiding their red faces.

“So you’re Paul Matthews...” A light but firm voice spoke.

~~~

“Oh, you are going down, Matthews!” Deb shouts jumping up ecstatically, ferociously pressing the buttons. Alice laughs delighted, swinging her controller around planting one final blow. She dances in the victory music that plays from the TV and seeps in the beauty of a disappointed groan from Deb.

“Haha! What was that dear Deb?” She teases. Deb stands up grabbing Alice pulling her down onto the bean bags tickling her mercilessly. Alice squeals delightfully, grabbing her mouth trying to quiet herself but to no avail. The girls shush themselves hearing footsteps coming up the stairs. The door creaks open, Alice looks up at her mom. She smiles silly, joined by Deb.

“Hi, Deb,” Alice's mother says, she looks at her daughter expectantly.  

“Hi, Ms.Matthews!” Deb says giddy, Alice shakes her head cheeks flushing.

“Hun, I've told you, you can call me Marley,” Marley says sweetly, Deb nods excitedly. “It's nice to see you around, I'm making some dinner would you like to join us?” She asks, instinctively folding up some things strewn around the room. Deb looks to Alice who shrugs. She looks back to Marley and nods, thanking her. “Alright! I call you down when it's ready!” Marley says leaving the room, closing the door.

“Eeek! I love your mom's food!” Deb exclaims, Alice nudges her glancing back to the tv. “Oh you're on” She grabs her controller and they begin once more.

~~~

“Mmm,” Chad hums dancing around the kitchen, circling Henry as they cook. “I don't know if its the food, or you, but something smells good” Chad giggles placing a kiss onto Henry's neck. The professor shakes his head, struggling to keep his smile under control.

“You are being very unprofessional Professor Hidgens” Henry comments lovingly, Chad bites his tongue giggling. Henry pauses stirring turning to his husband, he pulls him into a kiss. Chad holds his bowl kissing back, he pulls away biting his smile. They continue dancing around each other, a beautiful routine as they swirl through and around cooking up a storm. Henry hums a tune, finally pouring the finished meal into a setting bowl. “Love, will you set the table? I’m just not as good as you are with it” Henry coos, Chad nods setting to his task excitedly. Henry pouts suddenly, an awkward feeling settling him. Chad turns noticing, he strokes his husband's cheeks examining the man's face.

“Everything alright dearest?” Chad inquires

“Have you heard from the boys? The movies-”

“I have, they are on their way now” Chad comforts, Henry nods still doubtful. “Henry? Are you alright?” Chad continues, noticing the still unsure look Henry has.

“Something is wrong” Henry frowns “I feel...like something is wrong”  Chad tilts his head still cupping his husbands face. They stay like this before Henry waves it off and continues on dinner. Chad watches before setting the last placemat, making sure there are four in case Tommy wants to eat with them. The music continues playing through the house putting both men at ease. Finally, Henry finishes sitting down at the table, watching his husband affectionately. His attention pulled away as the door swings open, both men stand and turn towards it.

“Help!” Tommy cries, rushing in supporting a large figure. The professors scramble over to him taking an unconscious Ted and leading him to the couch. They set him down, Chad goes to grab a first aid kit. Henry turns to Tommy, he didn't mean to glare but...he did. His face softens at the redness surrounding the boy's eyes, and the glasses inked with dry tears. He tries to speak but can't manage anything. Chad returns and immediately begins working on Ted's face, cleaning up the blood, working on his nose. “I'm sorry” Tommy whispers frightened. Henry and Chad pause looking to the be-speckled boy. “I was s-so tired and I didn't...I d-didn't see anything…” He chokes back a sob, his eyes never leave Ted. Henry stands carefully, walking towards the boy. He places an arm around Tommy comforting him, Tommy cries into him, Chad sighs going back to Ted.

“Its alright Tommy, come sit,” He says leading the boy over to the couch. Tommy wipes his eyes, he places Ted's head in his lap, stroking the boy's hair, scared. Chad keeps working, feeling Ted stirring he backs away. Ted blinks his eyes open tired, he nestles into Tommy who gasps softly kissing Ted's forehead.

“Mmm, what's going on?” Ted mumbles, Tommy tries to speak but can feel the incoming tears. Ted hears the small noise coming from his boyfriend, he sits up. “Gumdrop?” He yawns, suddenly feeling a load of pain. He rubs his nose, wincing at the pain. His eyes grow in horror as he remembers the incidents of the evening. He shies away unable to meet the professor's eyes. “Oh…”

“What happened boys?” Henry asks returning from the kitchen handing the pair glasses of water. They take it gratefully, sipping on it to avoid conversation. They share a look before nodding. Ted turns to Chad, hoping his reaction will be softer. They recount the events that had happened bouncing back and forth between the pair. By the end, the apartment falls silent, save for Chad trying to stop his sniffles.

“Henry, can I talk to you?” Chad asks coldly. His husband nods and leads them out of the room. The two teens look to each other, frightened. Tommy takes his hand, biting his quivering lip. Ted sighs taking him into a hug.

“I was… I am..” Tommy tries but can't get the words out. “I-im so sorry!” He blurts sobbing into Ted. Ted tightens the embrace, rubbing soothing circles on his back.

“It's not your fault Tommy” Ted reassures “It’s those...those…” He pulls away angry “Monsters” Tommy chuckles at his sweet frown. He wipes away tears from his eyes. “Are you ok?” Ted asks, his voice softer now. Tommy nods, gasping cautiously.

“You got punched, and you're asking me if I'm ok?” Tommy shakes his head, disbelief running through him “I love you” Tommy says, the words rolling off his tongue so smoothly. He doesn't go back, he stays confident but Ted? Ted has never felt so much before. He pulls Tommy into a kiss, sweet and loving. The boys melt into each other, two pieces fit perfectly together.

“I love you too, by the way,” He chuckles “If that wasn't clear” The pair giggle together. Ted takes Tommy into another embrace resting on each other. They take deep breaths feeling their eyes grow heavy. Ted feels an everlasting flutter, but it's comfortable. I could get used to this.

~~~

“Thank you Mrs.Perkins! Sorry for kissing your daughter” Paul shouts as he leaves the house, causing Emma to giggle. She walks him to the car, holding his hand comfortably. She tries her hardest to ignore the obvious blush Paul holds. He turns to her, placing another kiss on her cheek. “I hope we got to know each other enough tonight,” He tells her, She nods biting her lip.

“I think we did,” She says, pushing a hair out of her face “I really enjoyed tonight Paul, seriously” she pokes his stomach as he listens “And I'm excited to continue this...getting to know each other thing” He laughs nodding in agreement.

“I should go” He admits disappointed “I'll see you Monday” He informs. She nods waving goodbye as he gets into his car, waving goodbye. She goes back to her house, smiling uncontrollably, much to her mother's notice.

“So I guess your night was awful?” Her mother teases. Emma groans plopping on to the couch. “He seems nice”

“Did you have to invite him in?” She asks defeated “I mean I really like him! And you totally embarrassed me” She moans kicking off her heels. Her mom chuckles gesturing her upstairs, she nods and goes to get ready for bed. She nods happily humming, what is wrong with me?

~~~

“Dinner was wonderful Alice, but I should really head home” Alice sighs nodding, She waves a sweet goodbye to Deb who disappears just as quickly as she came. She walks to the kitchen to help her mom clean up, hearing the door open she turns.

“How was your date?” Alice asks as Paul walks in almost immediately throwing off his tie.

“I won't say I'm in love” He hums quietly to himself, before leaving to go upstairs. Not before shooting his sister a quick glance. She rolls her eyes so far back she sees inside her head. Marley chuckles finishing the last dish and placing it carefully to dry. She kisses her daughter's forehead and starts to make her own way upstairs leaving a very empty feeling in Alice. She sighs checking the time shrugging she turns on the tv. Caution, she lowers the volume and makes sure the subtitles are on, watching hours of TV throughout the night. She finally falls asleep, dreaming of a certain beanie-wearing, flannel rocking girl. 

~~~

FU: You really said the words ‘I love you’?

SB: Yes, Paul. I don't know if you know this but that's how relationships work.

FU: Ok, uh...fuck you first of all. Second, whatcha up to?

SB: Nothing much, just chilling on the couch, Tommy and I are watching some TV

FU: He's still there? It's like 4 am

SB: Its 12 am, and there was an incident so he's staying here

FU: An incident?

And so for the second time that night, Ted recalls the evening's events in detail, shivering at the thought. And for the second time that night, he leaves someone speechless.

FU: I'm going to commit murder

B: Can I join you?

Ted freezes, he darts his eyes up realizing he had been texting the boy's group chat the entire time. He feels his eyes sting as they threaten him with tears. He tries to type a response but his fingers can't stop shaking. He feels Tommy take his hands and squeeze them, he shows them the texts. Tommy nods and helps him through the rest of the conversation.

“Don't mention it, ok?” He advises “Just continue on like normal, you can talk about it another day” He continues, ted listens “But right now, everything is alright” He finishes planting a kiss on Ted's cheek. He nods returning to his phone.

SB: Alright Moriarty, no need for the dramatics

FU: If he's Moriarty, what does that make me?

B: …

SB: …

FU: Ok, moving on then. So then what happens now?

SB: Idk dude, the professors left to talk awhile ago and haven't come back. Anyway… how was your date with Emma?

FU: Oh.. it was ok...nothing special. We went out to dinner, drove around...the usual. And we kissed!

SB: No fucking way

B: Language! But also congratulations Paul

FU: Ah why thank you!

SB: No fucking way did Emma kiss you

Fu: Don't be jelly Teddy

B: I hate to remind you but Ted is in a relationship, he's far from jealous

FU: …

FU: Point to Moriarty

SB: Yeah loser, I'm in love remember?

FU: In love with yourself?

SB: Definitely not

B: Can't relate

FU: Self-love? Whos she?

Ted chuckles to himself, he spends the rest of the night reading over the texts, going back through feeling infinitely happy. Tommy yawns next to him, he leans into Ted nestling himself into his shoulder. Ted smiles placing a kiss on the smaller boys forehead I love him, He sounds it out to himself. I, as in me Ted, Love, as in care so much for, Him, Tommy. Yeah, things are going to be fine.

[banesapothecary]

invisible smoke

read on ao3

David is always glad to see Patrick when he returns to the store from visiting vendors. Relieved, even. But today it’s on another level, and as soon as he hears the door open, he feels like he can breathe for the first time in hours.

Of course, it’s really only for the last several minutes that his breathing has been shallow and that he’s been desperately trying to contain the tears in his eyes. Tear tracks are not a good look and definitely not correct, especially not while customers are in the store.

David doesn’t know what the woman is saying anymore. He’d been trying to focus on her words, but right now, nothing makes sense except for two facts:  (1) he cannot cry in the middle of the store and (2) Patrick is here, so everything will be okay.

Probably. The little girl is still crying, so that isn’t exactly working in his favor.

“What’s going on?” Patrick’s voice breaks through the woman’s complaints and the child’s screams, still a little muffled by the apparent invisible cotton that has wrapped itself tightly around David’s ears.

Patrick is beside him now. David can feel him there, can feel Patrick’s hand lightly gripping his shoulder. David closes his eyes for a second and focuses on the warmth, breathing just a little bit easier. Patrick’s hand squeezes once, twice, three times, the pressure grounding David more.

When he opens his eyes, he can hear again, though he isn’t sure he wants to. The little girl seems to have calmed down a bit. Maybe Patrick’s magical calming effects work on everyone, not just him. They need to practice Patrick’s magical abilities, David decides, since they don’t seem to be working on the woman just yet.

She’s still yelling. David wants to yell, too.

The thing is, he knows it wasn’t entirely his fault. The second Patrick had left earlier for his errands, an influx of customers flooded the store, and David was alone to help all of them. For two hours straight, he’d bounced around the store frantically trying to explain to Roland what exactly body milk was while avoiding his terribly made innuendos on the subject, reading aloud every ingredient in every single one of the lotions they carried to an elderly woman who kept saying he reminded her of someone he’d never heard of and probably never would again, and rushing back to the register before the checkout line extended out the door.

To say David was stressed all day was an understatement—and that’s true on a regular, Patrick-with-him-in-the-store-all-day kind of day. The Richter scale couldn’t measure the true extremity of David’s stress levels today.

His best efforts to keep everything under control had obviously failed, because now there’s a screaming and probably hurt child in his store, with her equally loud and more than definitely angry mother and it‘s his fault.

Patrick’s never going to leave him alone in the store again. Clearly he can’t be trusted—after all, he’d caused this, and—

Patrick’s hand squeezes his shoulder again, and David realizes his breath is coming way too hard and his heart is beating way too fast. Again. A heart attack, he’d thought the first time it happened. He still isn’t entirely convinced that isn’t what afflicts him, no matter what Ted says.

“I got this,” Patrick murmurs under his breath, and David knows the woman didn’t hear it over the sound of her own angry voice. David nods, still not looking at Patrick but utterly relieved. He slips away quietly into the backroom, hearing Patrick interject calmly as he goes and, for the first time in what feels like hours, the woman falls silent.

The couch is still in the backroom, though its use is now far more PG since Patrick got his own apartment, but David ignores it. Instead, he presses himself into the corner of the room and sinks down to the floor, hugging his knees and shutting his eyes tightly enough to see colors behind his eyelids.

He tries to slow his breathing, remembering the breathing technique Ted had shown him and the calming techniques Patrick had helped him research after the first time he had a panic attack in front of his fiancé.

But Patrick’s hand isn’t on his shoulder anymore, and his warmth isn’t at David’s side, and he feels so alone again and he can’t breathe and he can’t see and he can’t think and—

The colors behind his eyelids have been replaced. Instead, the afternoon replays itself over and over, and David wants to rip his hair out. (He doesn’t. Even in the midst of a panic attack, he’s all too aware of how carefully he’d styled it that morning.)

He’s in the front of the store again, with the crowd and the many voices and questions and people needing to be checked out and the items needing to be restocked. He’s running himself thin, and David really hopes Patricks comes back soon. Relief floods through David once the store is empty again because everyone left satisfied, and he did it. He survived. And then David’s on the step ladder again, because the candles on the top shelf need to be restocked right then while he has a chance and he’s thinking about it, and the Apothecary’s door opening suddenly startles him a bit and he loses his balance and manages not to fall flat on his ass by some miracle, but instead he bumps into something and then the sound of wails fill the store, and—

“David.”

Patrick’s voice cuts through the cloud of panic. David’s eyes shoot open, meeting Patrick’s concerned gaze. Patrick squeezes his arm, and David tries not to worry about how he didn’t even realize Patrick was touching him until right then. Instead, he forces himself to copy his fiancé’s long and even breaths.

“What happened after I left?” David rasps when he finally feels like he can breathe again. The air feels like heaven in his lungs.

Patrick shakes his head, raising the hand not on David’s arm to cup his cheek. “Are you okay?”

David shrugs.

Patrick frowns, leaning in to press a kiss to David’s forehead before standing. David immediately misses his warmth, but he doesn’t have to miss it long. Patrick reaches a hand down to pull David up, who takes it without a second thought and doesn’t disentangle their hands once he’s standing. He’s pulled into a hug, feeling the soft press of Patrick’s lips against his neck and David wants to cry all over again.

“Let’s go home,” Patrick murmurs against David’s sweater.

“But the store—” David protests, albeit weakly.

“Doesn’t matter right now,” Patrick finishes for him, leaving no room for discussion. David is grateful. He hides his face in a blue button down that smells like home.

The drive home is mostly quiet. Patrick turned the radio’s volume down as low as it could go while still being audible, so every now and then David catches a few lyrics and melodies over the sound of the engine. He doesn’t realize until they’re pulling into their apartment complex’s parking lot that the music is playing from one of his playlists. It’s the one he made a few months ago of all the songs that make him feel happy. Patrick had smiled when David first shared it with him. Patrick didn’t know that most of the songs on the playlist reminded David of him.

They’ve been holding hands for the whole drive, and David tightens his grip at the realization. Patrick squeezes back, looking back at David with a question in his eyes as he pulls into a parking space. David doesn’t say anything as Patrick leads him upstairs, hands still intertwined. The silence is comforting, somehow, and he loves it.

Patrick kisses his cheek once they’re inside the apartment, so tenderly David thinks he might break. “Why don’t you go shower and change, and I’ll order some pizza,” he suggests, and David falls a little more in love.

He nods and says, “I love you,” because it’s the only response he’s capable of formulating right now. So he showers, and the water is probably definitely way too hot, but David can’t bring himself to care. It feels good against his skin that’s been shivering, even though it wasn’t exactly cold. When he dresses, he puts on an old pair of dark blue sweatpants and a long sleeve t-shirt, both Patrick’s. If Patrick notices, he doesn’t mention it when David returns to the living room, instead handing him a box of the just arrived pizza and pulling him down on the couch next to him. Flipping channels, Patrick finally settles on an episode of House Hunters, and David pretends not to notice Patrick’s smile when he starts making the occasional snide comments about the homes’ aesthetics.

David finds himself curled into Patrick’s side once they finish eating. It’s good, it’s comforting, and for the first time since Patrick left the store that morning, David is starting to feel like himself again. He’s feeling human again.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Patrick asks into David’s hair.

“No,” David whines, but he does. “There was a big rush right before they came in, and I’d finally gotten everything sorted and I was still very stressed about the whole thing, and I was on the step ladder.” Patrick’s hand found its way to David’s hair while he was talking and now he’s playing with the ends of it. David shivers at the sensation, scooting closer. “And the door caught me off guard, and I barely stopped myself from falling off the ladder, but I knocked her down. I didn’t mean to, I swear, I really—”

“David,” Patrick interrupts, pressing a kiss into his hair. “I know you didn’t. And so did her mom.”

David shakes his head. “No, she hates me. You heard her.”

“She was stressed, too, and freaked out because her kid was screaming. She doesn’t hate you, David,” Patrick says, running a hand up and down David’s arm.

David hums noncommittally. “It doesn’t matter, anyways. It’s not like I’m gonna be running the store by myself anymore.”

Patrick is quiet for a moment, hand still on David’s arm. “What are you talking about?”

David wants to hide, but he forces himself not to. “I fucked up today. Clearly I can’t be trusted alone in the store, anymore.” His voice is smaller than he likes and he turns to tuck his face into the crook of Patrick’s neck. His fiancé knows him better than that, though, and gently lifts David’s chin.

“Look at me, baby,” Patrick says, voice soft but firm. David tries not to melt at the pet name, but it’s been a long, terrible, no good day, and he really, really loves Patrick. “You did not fuck up today.” His eyes search David’s, no room for argument in them. David fights the urge to look away as Patrick continues. “You lost your balance on the step ladder, and the woman shouldn’t let a toddler run rampant through a store on her own anyways. It was not your fault, David.”

David can’t see again, but this time the tears aren’t from distress. “Okay,” he whispers after a moment.

“It wasn’t your fault,” Patrick repeats, prompting David with a raise of his eyebrows.

David sighs, rolling his eyes a bit just for the dramatics. “It wasn’t my fault.”

“And you are more than capable of running the store by yourself,” Patrick adds, nodding when David raises an eyebrow at him.

“And I am more than capable of running the store by myself,” David repeats dutifully, if not a bit sarcastically. Patrick’s words mean a lot to him—too much, after today. David wonders if too many emotions in one day might send him into a coma.

Patrick laughs at the expression on David’s face. “Good,” he says, kissing his forehead again. “Glad we got that settled. I think it’s movie night. Your turn to pick.” If they weren’t already engaged, David might’ve asked Patrick to marry him.

[overlyobsessedgaygal]

Fading Away

This is based on a prompt by @sidespromptblog. I strayed a little bit from the prompt and made this pure angst.

TW: sympathetic Deceit, sympathetic Remus, death, innuendos,

Anger cried out. Deceit glanced at Remus, hoping the creative side could come up with a plan or an idea or something to say. Anything. Lust, Greed and Sadness were huddled together in the doorway, all three of their faces morphed with terror.

"Dad!" Anger called out and reached his hand out. His hand fell right through Deceit's own. "It hurts," Anger whimpers. "So bad. I don't wanna go. Please help. Dad, Remus, Lust, Saddie, Greed. Please!"

 "You're okay," Deceit lied. "The pain is going away soon, it's going away." It wasn't a lie, the pain was going away but they all knew Anger wasn't going to be okay. The youngest sides eyes stared blankly at the ceiling.

 "I'm so sorry," Anger whispered, "I didn't want to hurt Thomas."

 "Remus," Deceit begged the creative side. "Tell us a story." Deceit shot a look at Remus and the chaotic side sank to his knees beside the dying trait.

  Sadness, Lust and Greed shuffled forward to be by their brother's side while he slowly left them.

  "Once," Remus began, his voice filled with the same dramatic and slightly crazed tone he normally used. "At the end of class, little Joan's teacher asked the class to go home and think of a story with a moral. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story."

   Little Talyn raises their hand. 'My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road.'"

  When the teacher asked for the moral of the story, Talyn replied, 'Don't keep all your eggs in one basket.'"

 Little Adri went next. 'My dad owns a farm too. Every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend only eight of the 12 eggs hatched.'"

 Again, the teacher asked for the moral of the story," Remus didn't pause the story when Angers face seemed to flicker out of existence even though Sadness was sobbing and tears were falling silently from Deceit's face.

"So Adri replied, 'Don't count your chickens before they hatch.'" Anger flickered one final time and then his legs disappeared and didn't come back. Remus' first instinct was to grab for him, protect him. But he knew he couldn't, so he kept talking.

 "Next up was little Joan. 'My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam war, and his plane was shot down over enemy territory. He jumped out before it crashed but could only take a case of beer, a machine gun and a machete. On the way down, he drank the case of beer. Then he landed right in the middle of one hundred Vietnamese soldiers. He shot seventy with his machine gun, but then he ran out of bullets! So he pulled out his machete and killed twenty more. Then the blade on his machete broke, so he killed the last ten with his bare hands.'

  The teacher looked a little shocked. After clearing her throat, she asked what possible moral there could be to this story.

  'Well,' Joan replied, "Don't fuck with Uncle Ted when he's been drinking.'" Remus finished the joke with energetic jazz hands. Each of the sides produced giggles, trying so desperately to ignore the empty space in front of them where Deceit's head was resting on the carpet instead of Anger's chest.

  "You're so not smart, Remus. So awful at jokes and not creative in the slightest," Deceit said. Remus grinned at the compliment.

   "He's gone," Sadness said softly, then he broke into loud sobs and collapsed into Dee's arms. "Dad, he's dead!"

    "If Thomas is getting rid of us then who is next?" Lust asked. Fear was evident in the room even as Deceit lied.

    "None of us are next. We're all going to be okay."

   It was a week, only a week, a mere seven days. It was one week before Greed woke up screaming in pain. Sadness and Lust ran out of their rooms. Everything was the same as it was when Anger faded and hopelessness layered the air of the dark sides common room.

  Remus set Greed onto the carpet. Deceit and Remus shared a look before the snake side kissed Greed's forehead. Greed looked at him and gave a pained smile. "Bye, dad."

  Dee held in his broken sob as he rose up and pulled the other two little sides along with him. They didn't need to see this again.

   As he left he heard Remus tell a  joke. "So, this whole time you've been acting like Thanos when you're really Spider-Man."

 They got to Dee's room and Dee quickly got Delilah out of her enclosure. The green and yellow five foot snake instantly curled around her owner. She had been the sweetest since the day Remus made her and Dee knew that Roman most likely provided her. Remus' creations were never this pleasant.

   "Del!" Sadness sniffled out while holding out his arms. Dee barely had time to move closer before the snake was launching itself at the crying side. Lust was sitting on the edge of Dee's bed, Delilah's tail resting on his lap.

   There was silence as Sadness sobbed into Delilah's smooth scales. Neither Lust or Deceit could find the words to say. They heard cries of pain every so often but it was drowned out by Remus growing louder with his song or story.

   "Which of us is next?" Sadness asked. He raised his eyes and looked between Deceit and Lust, worry painted across his features.

    No one had an answer.

  The nightmares came easily to all the dark sides. The vision of their companions slowly disappearing from their arms. Remus went to Thomas, to try and sway him. To break Morality's hold but it was no use. Remus got beat up by Logic and came back defeated.

   It was useless. Deceit was going to lose all his family.

  Lust went next. Much less screaming involved. He came to breakfast one morning, looked his dad right in the eye, and said he was dying. Sadness cried, Deceit served Lust some pink dyed pancakes cut into the shape of hearts, and Remus did what Remus did best. Grossed them all out and told horrible jokes.

   Lust flickered for a lot longer than the other two. He wasn't ready to die yet and Deceit could see the determination in his eyes. If Morality wasn't his opponent Lust might have actually won.

    The four remaining sides cuddled on the couch. Sadness tried to rest his head on Lust but fell right through and landed on Remus instead. "No!" Lust cried out. "I don't want to go! I don't want to die! Dad, please, do something, I-I-I-" The words faded out as Lust did.

  Remus stood, anger clear on his face. "We can't keep sitting here and letting this happen. We have to stop this!" Sadness and Deceit looked at him, watching his outburst. Sadness sniffled back his tears, and looked at Remus with hope.

    "Is there anything we can do?" Sadness asked softly. Remus looked to Deceit and the father figure could see it in his eyes. There was no plan, no way out, it was out of their control.

    "Yes," Deceit lied tenderly, running his scaled hand through the hair of the only young side remaining. "Yes, there's a way."

   The pained gasps of the side in Remus' arms had Deceit stumbling back. Even Remus struggled to joke, struggled to think of a way to help. These sides looked at Deceit as a father and he had to watch them all die because Morality couldn't get a hold of himself. Morality… It was all Morality.

 Dee clenched his fists and grinned, a villainous smile making its way into his face.  Morality did this and he would fix this. He had too.

 Remus and Deceit stood quietly in the empty common room, the quiet was a stark contrast to the very nature of the dark sides.

   "I should say goodbye to Roman," Remus said. He met Deceit's eyes. It was the first time Dee had ever seen anything but a crazed look in his eyes and he hated it. Dee wanted the Remus who couldn't be phased to come back. But that Remus was fading.

   Deceit swallowed hard. "I think we should talk to Patton. Make him stop."

    "We won't though," Remus commented. "We're scared of him, for good reason it seems."

   Roman gasped and clutched a hand to his chest. Logan cut off from his lecture so everyone could look at the pained prince. "Roman, you okay buddy?" Thomas asked.

   Roman didn't answer, just put a hand to his head. "Are you sick?" Virgil asked, concern blurring with worry in his voice. Patton and Logan both stepped towards Roman, both intending to examine him.

    "No!" Roman cried and threw up a hand to stop the others. "Not me. Remus, something's wrong."

 "We could summon him to us and find the stressing factor," Logan offered. Thomas and Virgil both recoiled, Virgil hissing. Patton seemed torn. "If Roman is in pain it is even more likely that Remus is experiencing similar symptoms, if not to a worse extent."

   "He's right, Kiddo," Patton said to Thomas and Virgil. "If Remus is hurting then we should help." Thomas and Virgil met each other's gaze, taking in Patton's words.

    Thomas nodded. "Yeah, let's do it."

 Dee clung to Remus in a python grip. "Don't leave me here, not here alone. Remus, stay, please stay. Fight it, stay."

  "Can't. Morality wants us gone, so it will be. The only thing that can undo thousands of years of survival instincts: morals." Remus winced as another shooting pain shot through his body, starting in his chest and hitting every nerve down to his toes.

   "I don't want to be alone," Dee mumbled. Remus smiled at him with all the vigor he could muster, which didn't compare to his usual flair, and opened his mouth to start a sentence before his eyes widened and he popped out. Deceit screamed.

    "No, no, no, not like this."

 When Remus appeared in Thomas' living room beside his brother he attempted a smile but only managed a pained grimace. "Good evening, how may-may I assist you?" His voice was pitched lower than normal and a gasp forced its way into the sentence.

  Roman reached out to grab his brother but his hand went right through him. Virgil growled and sunk into his hoodie. Everyone watched in stunned silence as Remus reached out to grab onto Roman, a desperate and pleading motion.

  "Everybody dies," Remus sang in a pathetic mockery of his own song.

   "What?" Patton asked, horrified. "You can't die, you're a part of Thomas!"

     "He's fading," Logan and Virgil both said at once, one voice calculated and the other terrified. The two glanced at each other, Logan quickly noticing Virgil's distress immediately began to explain and solve the issue. "Fading is when Thomas decides he no longer needs a side and the side is... erased in a way."

   "Thomas is a good person now, or he will be after Deceit gives in too. I guess not everybody sins," Remus shrugged dramatically. He waved goodbye and then he began to become transparent. Roman yelled at the others to do something.

    Patton had saddened tears dripping down his face and Thomas watched in fear. Virgil had buried himself in his hoodie. Logan watched Roman and Virgil with a careful eye, being sure the dark side fading didn't affect them other than emotionally.

    "Perhaps," Logan started, "Perhaps we should speak to Deceit."

    Deceit popped up beside Logan in Thomas' home. He looked unnaturally pale and sickly, his scales were flaky and his eyes dull.

    "What a pleasure it is to be here," Deceit drawled, sarcasm heavy in his voice. "What? Morality wanted to gloat? He's got his way? They're all dead now."

     Patton gasped in shock. "Why would Patton be bragging about the fading of the other sides?" Logan asked. Roman and Patton were both crying while Thomas just looked confused. Virgil is the one who answered Logan's question and the words brought them all to a stop a sense of dread sinking in all of their chests.

   "Pat's the one who killed them."

[dukereviewsmovies]

Duke Reviews: The Fast And The Furious

Hi Everyone, I'm Andrew Leduc And Welcome To Duke Reviews, Where I Realize That It's Been A While, I Know I Haven't Done Anything With This Page In A While (Mainly Because Of My Other Tumblr Pages And For Those I Suggest You Check Out Power Rangers/Sentai Reviews (prreviews) Duke Reviews TV (dukereviewstv) Oncer Reviews (oncerreviews) And Arrowverse Reviews (arrowversereviews)) But I Hope To Do More Because As Of Today I Am Back With New Reviews On The Fast And Furious Movies...

I Say The Fast And Furious Movies As I'm Going To Be Going Over All Of Them And Not Just Do 4 Movies And Make A Month Out Of It, That Made Me Feel Compressed For Time And I Really Don't Want To Feel Like That When Doing This, I'm Gonna Do This The Way I Want To. So, The Fast And The Furious...

Starring Vin Diesel And The Late Paul Walker This Film...Well, I Would Talk About The Plot But That Would Spoil Some Twists That Happens In The Movie So, No Plot For This Episode...

But Instead Let's Get Right To The Fast And The Furious...

The Film Starts As Some People With Helmets And Fast Cars Hijack A Truck Full Of Electronic Goods...

The Next Morning, We Meet Brian Spillner (Played By The Late Paul Walker) Who Stops By Toretto's Market And Cafe Where Mia (Played By Dallas' Jordana Brewster) Works With Her Brother, Dom (Played By Vin Diesel) But When Dom's Crew (Which Includes Dom's Longtime Girlfriend, Letty (Played By Lost's Michelle Rodriguez) Vince (Played By Matt Shultze) Who Is Sort Of The Muscle, Jesse (Played By Chad Lindberg) Who's The Brains And Leon (Played By Johnny Strong) Who's Just There, He's Not The Brains Or The Muscle, He's Just There) Arrives On The Scene, Vince Gets Into A Fight With Brian (When He Doesn't Like Brian Flirting With Mia) Which Forces Dom To Get Involved...

What Kind Of Fight Song Is That?

That's Got To Be The Worst Song I've Ever Heard In A Fight Scene...

Telling Brian To Never Come Back Here, Brian Says That That's Bull But Knowing That Brian Works An Autoshop With A Friend Of His Named Harry, Dom Tells Brian That He's Fired. Going Down To Harry's, He's Mad At Brian, Saying That He's Messing Around With His Buisness...

He's Good, Man! Really Good...

Telling Harry, He Needs Nos...

Nos? What's Nos?

Researching This I Discovered That Nos Is Another Word For Nitrous Oxide Otherwise Known As Laughing Gas...

However, It Is Used In This And Other Motor Sports As A Rocket Propellant...

However, Harry Knows That Brian Is A Amateur And Isn't Ready For Nos Just Yet But Needing It Now Brian Tells Harry To Place 2 Containers In His Vehicle. That Night, Brian Goes To A Street Race That He Knows That Dom And His Crew Will Be At There He Meets Edwin (Played By Rapper Ja Rule) And Hector (Played By That One Guy Who's Known For Playing Mexican Gangsters In Movies) I'm Serious That's All He's Known For, But I Guess It's Better Than Saying The Guy That Got A Monkey Out Of His Ass In Bruce Almighty...

(Start Video At 1:06)

When Dom Arrives, Everyone Places Their Cash In Except For Brian Who Places The Pink Slip To His Car, Stating That If He Wins He Takes The Cash And The Respect...

Looking At His Car, Dom Accepts His Terms As They All Drive To Where The Race Is At.

With All The Racers At The Starting Line, The Race Begins!..

Activating The First Nos Canister, Brian Passes Edwin And Another Racer But When He Activates The Second Canister, He Loses The Bottom Of The Back Of His Car As He Passes Dom, But Dom Gets The Better Of Brian By Activating His Nos Canister...

But As Brian Finally Makes It To The Finish Line, The Police Start Showing Up Which Causes Everyone To Get The Hell Outta There, Ditching His Car, Dom Is Nearly Arrested By Police, However He Is Saved By Brian Who Says He Only Saved Him In An Effort To Keep His Car...

Losing The Police, Dom Tells Brian He Had Jesse Do Research On Him Discovering That Brian Did 2 Years In Juvie For Boosting Cars...

But They're Soon Followed By A Rival Gang On Motorbikes With Machine Guns That Is Led ByJohnny Tran (Played By Rick Yune) And His Cousin, Lance (Played By Grimm's Reggie Lee)

Saying That They Just Got Lost, Tran Lets Dom Go However...

They Place Bullets In Brian's Car, Setting The Nos On Fire And Causing The Car To Blow Up...

With A Long Walk Home, Dom Explains His History With Tran To Brian, As It Turns Out That It Was A Buisness Deal That Went Sour, Plus He Slept With Tran's Sister

Arriving At Dom's House, Dom Tells Brian To Come In For A Drink Before He Gets Mad At His Crew For Not Going Out And Finding Him...

With Dom Going Upstairs With Letty To Give Her A Massage Which Is Code For...

Saving Brian From Another Fight With Vince, Mia Talks With Brian In The Kitchen...

The Next Day, Brian Is Arrested By Police And Is Taken Back To A Safehouse Where It's Revealed That Everything We Know About Brian Is A Lie!

Turns Out His Real Name Is Brian O'Connor And He Is An LAPD Officer Who Is Involved In A Joint Mission Between The LAPD And The FBI To Find Out Who The Gang That Has Been Stealing Electronic Goods Is And To Arrest Them

The Officer That Arrested Him Is Sergeant Tanner (Played By Ted Levine Who Played The...

Guy In Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom) And Is The LAPD Officer In Charge Of The Mission And The Black Guy Is The FBI Agent Bilkins (Played By Thom Barry) Who I Suggest You Get Used To Seeing As He's In The Next Movie As Well...

They Go Over A Bit Of Exposition Stating That People That Are Good With Precision Driving With Three Honda Civics With Green Neon Glow Beneath The Chassis And Have Mashimoto Z-X Tires Have Done 4 Truck Hijackings In 2 Months And If They Don't Have Something Soon They'll Have A Revolt Of Truckers On Their Hands...

But Despite Knowing That The Street Racing World Revolves Around Dom, Brian Doesn't Think That He's The One Behind These Attacks But He May Know Who Does All He Needs Is Time...

But Bilkins Says That Brian Doesn't Have Time...

Before Brian Leaves, Tanner Warns Brian To Be Careful Around Dom As He Nearly Beat A Guy To Death...

Getting Another Car From Tanner..,

And A Shitty One At That...

He Gives It To Dom Saying It's His Car...

Telling Jesse To Pop The Hood, Shows Dom To Not Judge A Book By It's Cover...

Dom Tells Brian That When He's Not Working At Harry's, He's Working At His Garage...

We Get A Brief Montage Of Dom And The Crew Buying Stuff From Harry's For The Car, While Jesse Shows Brian What The Car Will Look Like When The Car Is Finished...

Going To A Barbecue At Dom's House, Vince Takes Off The Minute He Sees Brian But Let's Not Put A Damper On This Scene As Everyone Sits Down To Eat We See One Of Dom's Traditions Which Is Whenever Somebody Grabs Food First That Somebody Has To Say Grace...

Just They Eat, Vince Arrives Mainly Because He's Hungry And Not Because He's Dropped His Beef With Brian...

Helping Mia With The Kitchen, Brian Asks Mia Out But Despite Her Saying She Doesn't Go Out With Her Brother's Friends She Does This When Vince Bosses Around Brian Again...

The Next Day, Hector Visits Harry's Shop For Equipment For 3 Honda Civics...

This Is Starting To Get Suspicious...

That Night, Brian Sneaks To Hector's Hangout Over Near The El Gato But Unfortunately The Cars Don't Match The Description. Getting Out, He Is Caught By Vince Who Takes Him To Dom Who Demands An Explanation Which Is Where Brian Tells Him That He Was Only In Hector's Garage To Analyze The Competition For The Upcoming Race Wars...

Despite Vince Believing He's A Cop, Dom Takes Both Brian And Vince To Johnny Tran's Where Dom And Vince Look At Tran's Car To See That It Has No Engine But Brian Is More Interested In All The Electronics That Tran Has...

But They Get A Call From Jesse Who Says That Tran And His Gang Are On Their Way Back A Fence Named Ted Who Was Supposed To Get Them An Engine For Their Car But He Didn't So They Decide To Torture Him...

Telling Tanner And Billkins What He Saw, Billkins Wants To Move On Tran Believing That They Have Enough But Brian Wants Hard Evidence Before They Do...

He Also Mentions That Hector's A Dead End And Dom Is Too Controlled For This, Vince Maybe But Not Dom, This Leads Tanner To Show Brian A Picture Of The Guy Dom Beat Up Years Ago...

That Afternoon, Brian Works At The Garage With Dom As He Tells Him That Tonight Is His Date With Mia...

Wow, Not One For Subtlety, Are You Dom?

Taking Brian To His Garage At His House, Dom Shows Brian A 1970 Dodge Charger That He Worked On With His Father When He Was A Kid, It's Here We Learn That Dominic's Father (Who Was A Pro Stock Racer) Was Killed By A Fellow Racer Named Kenny Linder Who Knocked Into A Wall (Which Set His Car On Fire) And That The Man That Dom Attacked Was Linder Which Leads To The Best Line Of The Entire Movie...

Taking Mia Out, She Tells Brian The Story How How Dom And The Gang Met, Saying That Vince Knew Dom Since They Were Kids And Letty Was Basically The Girl Next Door Who Was Interested In Car But Could Never Get Dom's Attention But Then She Turned 16...

So, Their Relationship Is Basically Like Phineas And Isabella's...

And Jesse And Leon Just Showed Up One Night And Never Ever Left. Mia Then Compares Her Brother To Gravity Stating That Everyone Who Comes Around Him Gets Pulled In, But Brian Tells Mia That The Only Thing That Pulled Him In Was Her...

Meanwhile, Another Heist Goes Down Which Makes Bilkins Decide To Move On Tran In 1700 Hours, And They Let Brian Know About This As He's Screwing Mia...

Bad Timing, Guys...

The Arrest Of Tran And His Boys Looks Similar To The Baptism Scene In The Godfather To The Point That All That's Missing Is The Murders And It Could Use A Guy With A Horse Head On His Bed...

And If You Thought Brian Having Sex With Mia Was Hot During The Raid We Get Scenes Of Dom Having Sex With Letty, She Was Hot In Girlfight So Why Not?

However, Tran And His Boys Are Innocent, Turns Out The Electronics Are Legal And All They Got On Them Is Low Rent Weapons Charges And Outstanding Speeding Tickets, Bilkins Tells Brian To Bring Toretto In In 36 Hours Or He Can Get A New Job.

Knowing That Brian Can't Look Past Dom Because Of Mia, Brian Tells Tanner That Knows Dom Won't Go Back To Jail Easy...

With The Car Ready And Raring To Go, Dom And Brian To A Test Run Down To The Coast Where They Stop By This Restaurant Called Neptune's Her Where Brian Tells Dom That He Knows He's Doing Something On The Side To Pay For Everything And He Wants In, Dom Tells Brian To Win Race Wars Then They'll Talk...

And What Can I Say About Race Wars? It's A Mix Of Woodstock And Coachella Except No Music Just Racing...

With Letty Racing First, She Beats The Hell Out Of This Ass That Tried To Hit On Her...

You Just Got Owned, Pal...

Meeting With Brian, Jesse Tells Him That He's Up Next In A Pink Slip Race, That Is The Good News, The Bad News Is That He's Driving His Jailbird Dad's Jetta And That His Competitor Is Johnny Tran....

Can't Wait To See How This Goes Down...

Yep, Jesse Loses But He's Like No Way In Hell I'm Giving Up My Dad's Car And Drives Off Til He's Out Of Fuel...

I Have A Feeling We Won't Be Seeing Him For A While...

Telling Dom To Get Jesse's Car For Him, Dom Tells Tran To Watch Who He's Talking To Which Is When Tran Tells Him That S.W.A.T Raided His House...

Shermar Moore Was At Your House, Boy, I Wish I Was There...

Thinking That Dom Was Behind It, Dom Gets Into A Fight With Tran...

That Night, Brian Watches Dom And The Others Take Off To Go On Another Heist Which Leads Brian To Confront Mia On It Forcing Him To Tell Her That He's A Cop..

(Start At 3:41 And End At 3:44)

Despite Telling Her That Everything He Felt For Mia Was Real, Brian Tells Her That The Truckers Aren't Laying Down Anymore And That If She Cares About Dom And The Crew She'll Help Him...

Mia Tells Brian Where The Cats Are Stashed But Brian Knows That The Highway Where They Are Is Too Well Patrolled So, He Decides To Do A Cell Phone Trace...

Driving Up To The Cars, Dom's Ready To Go But The Others Don't Feel Right Doing This Without Jesse But Dom Doesn't Want To Give Up On This One Saying That It's The Motherlode That They've Been Waiting For. So, Getting In The Cars They Ride Off...

But As They Go To Pull Their Heist, The Driver Tries To Shoot Vince With A Shotgun Vince Tries To Untether But He's Just Stuck...

Eventually Though Vince Gets Tossed To The Side Where His Arm Gets Stuck, Dom And Letty Try To Save Him But Dom Loses A Tire And Letty Gets Sideswiped Off The Road With Dom Telling Leon To Go Check On Her...

Dom's Engine Gets Hit Causing Him To Pull Off The Road But Luckily Brian Arrives With Mia To Save Vince...

With Dom Arriving, Letty And Leon Drive Out Of This Movie And With Only Letty And Vince Returning For Sequels We Say Goodbye To Leon. We Hardly Knew Ye...

With Vince Bleeding Out, Brian Calls The Police To Bring An Ambulance While Also Blowing His Cover. Returning To Dom's House, Brian Confronts Dom Saying There's Nowhere To Run But Dom Tells Him That He's Not Running Because He Has To Find Jesse Before Tran Does But Luckily Jesse Finds Them...

With Tran And Lance Closing In, Dom, Brian And Mia Take Cover While Tran Kills Jesse...

With Both Dom And Brian Going After Tran, Tran And Brian Both Shoot At Each Other As Lance Goes Behind Brian To Shoot Him But Dom Stops Lance From Doing So By Causing Him To Jump Into A Field...

It All Eventually Ends When Tran Is Shot By Brian Killing Him Instantly. With Tran Dead, Brian Sets His Sights On Dom Who He Follows To A Railroad Track Where Dom Tells Him That He Used To Drag Race Here In High School And That On Green He's Going So, The 2 Decide To Race Each Other One Last Time Or Until Fast And Furious But That's A Different Story...

Jumping At The Track As The Train Is About To Cross, Dom's Charger Gets Hit By An Oncoming Truck Causing To Flip Out Of Control...

Surviving, Brian Lets Dom Take His Car Saying That He Owes Him A 10 Second Car And So Dom Rides Off To Fight Another Day...

And That's The Fast And The Furious And It's A Good Film....

The Cast And Story Are Great, The Stunts Are Fantastic, The Car Designs Are Amazing I Just Love This Series. A lot Of People Around My Mom's Age Say That These Films Are Just Violence , Sex Basically Stuff You Would Find In A Grand Theft Auto Game And While It Does Have Some Violence And A Few Sexy Scenes It's Not Just That Throughout The Entire Movie It's Much More Than That, So, I Say See It And Give It A Chance...

Till Next Time, This Is Duke, Signing Off...

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S2 Ep 31: You Can’t Spell Marriage Without Mai

First off, when I got to this episode, I turned to my bro and said “WHAT” and he said “Right? This episode is the best. It’s all down from here” and I was like “YOU SAID THAT TWO EPISODES AGO” so now I know Bro can never be trusted.

If you had told me the plot of this episode before I watched it, I’d say “no, that is Mario Party Fanfiction, and you’ve changed all the names.” That is where this episode went.

Does Mario Party Fanfic exist? Quick Google search, one moment. Dear Lord. OK, I’m back.

Now guys I want you to know that every time a ship comes up in Yugioh, I write like...10k words about it, math equations appearing around my head, as I try to figure out what the freakin hell anyone is even doing and if the writers even know what they’re doing, and I’ll just promptly delete it. I just want you to know the service I do for you. Every time it comes up I start ranting about what the hell an ancient Egyptian would even understand about modern romance and then I stop myself and go “No! Focus!” and I’ll Ctrl-A and I’ll just *delete* and feel a burden lift off my shoulders and into the ceiling like a prayer.

And then this episode happened?

And I’m just like...

...

well I TRIED to spare you.

Please admire how many people they stuffed into Mai’s very small convertible. I half expected them to drive up to Kiki’s Delivery Service.

In case you’ve also forgotten something that happened 40 episodes ago, Mai saved Joey last season by giving him a McGuffin as well as a gross ass handkerchief (which he doesn’t have anymore, the whole 'will they ever return the gross ass handkerchief’ plotline seems to have left the building) and finally, here, halfway through S2 we’re going to actually address why Mai would have any compassion for this bundle of awful kids.

I mean, Joey is still in high school and Mai is like 24 (although some say 44???) so I’m pretty sure they were trying to make it seem platonic or motherly between these two but eh, I don’t even know with this show, man. I mean she and Joey are 8 years apart but Serenity is 4 years Tristan’s junior despite Mokuba being 1 year younger than her and like right there. (Mokuba’s like 12 by the way, something surprising I found out when I did a Google Deep Dive on everyone’s canonical weight a few episodes ago.) And then Pharaoh is like either 5000 or 16-ish depending on who’s asking, so age doesn’t seem to be ever an inhibiting factor in this show.

But as is Yugioh tradition, any space that could possibly be filled with any growth between a boy and a girl--even platonically--must be absolutely derailed by something exploding.

(read more under the cut)

Stepping out from inside of this limousine is a man who wears sunglasses at night, and so at first I thought “oh hell it’s Pegasus’ security, he’s back” But he’s...he’s not. I really, really wish it were.

Joey literally wiped his hand off on the ass of his jeans before trying to shake the hand of this guy he has never mentioned before in his life but swears is his favorite person in the world.

Jean wisely left him hanging.

Joey is SO ready to see a ship in this show actually do something. So ready, that he is willing to accept Mai and this rando we’ve never seen before as canon, despite the fact I’m pretty sure a chunk of last season was trying (rather unsuccessfully) to pair him up with Mai?

It’s not where I expected this episode to go! I really thought we were going to go and play a tourney? We were meeting up with Kaiba at a stadium one block away - he’s just sitting there on his big ass dragon shaped chair and like “omg the moment I walk away they get completely distracted, every single time.”

Anyways, lets get to a flashback where very fancy people in pastel suits were playing cards because apparently cards isn’t just for streetfighting.

I have been wading through 1.5 seasons of these characters doing these elaborate dances around each other to never ever speak a word of commitment or relationship, and I’ve been pretty OK with them doing that. Honestly, the less romance in my Yugioh, the more satisfied I am, but then, after 1.5 seasons of basically nothing but Serenity wearing some bandages and needing a lift from the hospital, suddenly we have this random guy show up and profess marriage, and it is the most whiplash this show has ever given me.

I will accept demonic weird ass devices threatening children, spooky magic, bad history, and all sorts of weird ass outfits but like marraige???? wtf?????

Which is something that Mai seems to know because she turned him right down as you should when a person you’ve never met before decides to marry you based on your ability to coordinate cards in a deck.

Joey honestly thinks being a rich star will automatically make you marriageable material, because I guess Joey completely forgot about Seto Kaiba, a very famous billionaire who is maybe one of the least marriageable people on the planet.

So what gets me about this episode and what makes it so freakin weird is that everyone here accepts this as the rules from this point on.

She MUST be married if Mai enters and then loses this game. Welcome to the Yugioh universe. This is how card people dating works. This is law, she has to accept this proposal if this card game based on chance loses.

Anyways, Yugi’s here to be the voice of reason in a dating episode and that’s something I didn’t expect to write in a sentence.

Yes, his motive was “Mai, this will take too long” not “Mai, you don’t know this guy, and he’s probably crazy” it was “Mai please, I know the world will end when I enter this tourney and so you have nothing to lose and it’s the best time to marry a stranger actually, but can you not? It’s taking SO LONG.”

Duke Devlin in the back still trying helplessly to keep up with what the hell is going on since he wandered on this team by complete accident four episodes ago.

And yes, it’s THIS that makes Joey not like this guy. Not the part where he proposed out of the blue, nearly ran over them with his car, stalked Mai for like a year, and then completely disregarded Mai’s common sense. No--this part, where he threatened to kick Mai out of the competition. That was the low blow to Joey.

You will lose this duel and gain a husband.

That is an actual line from the show, folks, this show went places.

aaaaand Mai starts losing right away.

DAMN

IT.

This is the one thing I thought was pretty much in the bag. That there would not be the concept of one of these characters getting married. That was the One thing I was sure of. But I was not only wrong, but this is like the most bizarre wedding I’ve ever seen on TV. It’s basically a shotgun wedding but with cards???

And what makes this more bizarre, and it was something I only noticed after watching this episode, is that we’ve seen this type of behavior before. But at the time, back in the beginning of this season I was just like “that was just a really weird thing that happened that wouldn’t possibly be accepted as normalized in this universe.”

Like, remember that creepy DDR guy who dueled Yugi so that if he beat Yugi in a match, that creepy guy would become Tea’s boyfriend despite never spending more than 2 minutes with either of them? That despite the fact that Yugi isn’t even her boyfriend, it was like something all three of them were like “I guess I have to go through with this now.” At the time I just assumed that was an insane thing that happened. I just assumed that would never come back.

This was the episode where suddenly I realized, maybe the big issue with these kids dating is a hell of a lot more than just actually going on dates. Maybe it’s because I didn’t understand what their love language is. It’s not Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, Acts of Service, Words of Affirmation, and for sure as hell isn’t Physical Touch, it’s the 6th, not very often talked about love language, that’s right, it’s Cards. Rewrite everything, Gary Chapman. Tear it all down and reshoot all those Ted Talks, we forgot something.

Like, sometimes I forget that these guys live in a universe controlled by cards. I mean we’ve seen cards and romance intermingle twice. (three times, if you count Rebecca, who might be engaged to Yugi now? It was kind of a really weird ending to a card game) Pegasus even tried to resurrect his dead wife through cards. All these cards currently exist because of Pegasus’ undying love for Cecilia (who is...OMG I forgot that chick might be alive somewhere)

What I’m saying is that...What if this is how they’ve actually dated this whole time? What if this whole time that I assumed no one was dating they......they actually...were? What if I just didn’t notice, because it was just so freakin weird? What if this is more like how in a Jane Austen novel, if someone goes on a walk with someone else it’s basically like 3rd base?

Like, remember Jane Austen’s Persuasion, where Captain Wentworth went on a walk with Louisa and she was like “hey catch me, I’m 14 years old!” and then she tripped off a wall and got a concussion and he was like “DAMN IT! Now I have to marry her!” and everyone was like “Well congrats on getting married, Louisa.” and then she fell in love with a sad poet who gave her soup once while Captain Wentworth was getting his nuptials planned out in Bath and so Louisa dumped Captain Wentworth’s sorry ass and he was like “OH THANK YOU. YOU ARE SO 14.” And then sad soup man showed up in Bath while Wentworth and the rest of Louisa’s family was quickly crossing out “Wentworth” on all the marriage invitations and sad soup man was like “Before Louisa, I was in love with this other chick, but she died, so I’m pretty stoked I found Louisa.” and Captain Wentworth was like “You’re such an asshole for cheating on your dead girlfriend, I would never do that, you ass!” and then immediately married Anne Wentworth by writing her one single letter saying “hey, want to get married Y/N?” despite the fact that he went well out of his way to avoid her the entire book?

What if that’s been going on in the background of Yugioh but I just didn’t know because, unlike Persuasion, I never took a college class on Yugioh Dating Customs so I have no idea when it ever happens.?

See, this is the stuff I usually delete but like psh whatever, it’s a dating episode, so for once this isn’t a tangent, and yes, I am reading too much into this, thank you.

Anyway, after Joey asks Yugi what to do and then telephones what Yugi just told him to Mai enough times, Mai beats Jean Claud Magnum and avoids a lifetime of...whatever that would have been like.

However, something is off about that game and it takes a card wizard to explain it to us although it was...........really obvious.

This is the third time someone on this show was abducted by a ninja net.

She gets kidnapped by a guy in a ninja jet suit contraption and this is her reaction!? Freakin lucid dream what the hell?

This is the weirdest show I’ve ever watched. Not so much because it has stuff other shows don’t have, but because it forces me to have these expectations of what I think it is and then, once I get comfortable, completely changes it. Last episode Bakura murdered 3 established characters in a graveyard. Like, not even random people, Bakura murdered 3 named people with funny accents we’ve known since last season. That was already completely insane for a kid’s show to do. But rather than address whatever the hell is going on with Bakura, we’re just going to add more to the pot and throw in this crazy asshole, too. For kicks.

Like this is a filler episode somehow? This filler episode would be an entire season of any other kid’s show.

So this episode ends with Mai hanging from a flag pole in a miniskirt, but it’s not like anyone in this city would ever peek their nose out of their window to see what the hell is going on, so at least she doesn’t have to worry about upskirting an entire town. Just these two people.

And like, Joey’s such a mess in that head anyway that like who freakin cares? He’ll probably wake up tomorrow without any memory of yesterday thanks to possession, drowning, getting beat up, tied up, and then this oncoming concussion.

I’m pretty sure she should have stabbed him right through with this duel disk?

(the dialogue really does imply that if he had done this himself she would have been cool with it. How freakin weird is Mai?)

And then he just lets her go? Makes you wonder if it was an abduction or just a game he thought she would enjoy? I don’t know. This episode was all over the place. I mean...maybe he really thought she’d like getting caught in a net and being flown all around Domino? I don’t freakin know.

Like, in my opinion she was stalked for over a year and abducted with several witnesses. But, no one is calling the cops. So like...was this weird to them? This was very weird to us...but like...maybe Mai was like “hm, that was a so-so date.” because this type of behavior is just how this universe does?

....

....

Yugioh, are you OK?

Anyways, next week:

Is the tourney cancelled because after episodes and episodes of tangents, no one ever freakin shows up and Kaiba has to go back to school to do a Chem final? Does Duke Devlin ever even do anything? Does it take 20 minutes for Bakura to walk through security because he keeps setting off the metal detector with his invisible necklace that he can never take off?