#she jokes her way around her own traumas and distracts others who are upset with trivial things like broken mugs.

[ghostinacardboardbox]

I didn’t read it this way at all. Alice knows that Gwen is incredibly upset, and also knows that pushing Gwen to open up more isn’t going to help— Gwen would hate looking even more “weak” than she currently thinks she does, and she and Alice aren’t really close yet anyway. So when Gwen says “I broke my mug,” Alice latches onto that instead. Alice knows it’s not about the mug, it’s about something much more important that Gwen probably doesn’t want to discuss right away. So Alice is going to tell her own story about a broken mug, because she wants to express empathy and say that she wants to relate to Gwen without saying it, and also to show that even if it was about the mug, if it was actually about something little and relatively unimportant, Gwen is still allowed to be upset.

It’s indirect comfort rather than direct; she can’t reassure Gwen about anything else until Gwen opens up about it, so Alice will accept the fake little scenario where it’s just about a broken mug, and she’s going to reassure her by talking about herself rather than talking directly to Gwen, which I think makes Gwen feel a lot less self-conscious about it.

the alice/gwen interaction is so fucking funny to me because alice comes in ready to tease gwen, sees gwen crying, but IMMEDIATELY assumes it’s about the mug, going off on a tangent about her own broken mug not realising yknow. girl just got demoted and looks HEAVILY traumatised lmao. no perception skills 10/10 they should kiss on the mouth

[c-kiddo]

tmn are all nd: a bunch o headcanons

(a sequel to these trans headcanons lol)

(also, warning before that this post is about neurodivergency and mental illness, so various mental illnesses will be mentioned. i dont want to single any out here, but you should probably skip this if thats something thats upsetting 2 you)

(also also, this is a infodump and not super in-depth or articulate, so sorry if i worded things wrong because i don’t mean to lol im just bad at reading things on screens so it might get jumbled. . )

beau: she’s got adhd and will hyperfocus and work All night on her theories and notes. perhaps she has audhd, has low-ish empathy and doesnt know how to regulate volume or realise her tone is usually annoyed sounding ksjnjkfs :''') also she has depression n that combined with adhd made her especially impulsive and self destructive, but she’s working on it, getting better :’) also had problems with substance abuse but the cobalt soul (dairon specifically) helped her get out of that. has cptsd because of her upbringing and abuse from her dad 

fjord: he’s got adhd too, babey!!!! also he’s got tourettes and his most common tics are: clearing his throat, a small head tilt, raising his eyebrows and grinding his teeth. he's a bit (a lot) impulsive and him and beau cant be trusted alone together they will get distracted and into trouble

yasha: she's autistic!! mostly effected by th social aspect of it.. like, talking to people is hard and she doesn’t get jokes or sayings and its all just tiring. also has p bad social anxiety. also memory loss from trauma as per canon.. struggles with when she does start to remember things but luckily has a support system so she doesnt just run off on her own like before :')  she also tends to disappear off like that due to sensory overload and just being overwhelmed in general bc of autism

caleb: i mean, he’s autistic n its basically canon. he experiences psychosis and has ptsd n depression/anxiety that has come from his trauma. he already had OCD before trauma and his obsessions revolve around hurting others A Lot, especially with fire after his trauma.. he also has dermatillomania due to ocd and anxiety. also has some sort of disordered eating in a self-punishment way.. .

veth: she has autistic-girlie-who-was-diagnosed-as-an-adult swag .. . and then the substance addiction that often comes with that i guess :''') .. also think she has body dysmorphia of course, especially during her being Nott, and some lingering things after too.. she just struggles to perceive her body for a while.. yeza rly helps ground her back to herself tho so thats nice :' ) . also she ptsd from her own murder + drowning , as per canon

molly: has npd and also he has a traumatic brain injury caused by all the things going on in his brain when his souls leave and he dies and things.. so struggles sometimes to find the right words and with memory and with mood regulation. also experiences psychosis and just, in general, strange things going on in his brain.. . also he likes sounds and textures all the time but will sacrifice th sounds for hanging out with yasha because its 110% worth it to sit with her instead ;w; they sign to eachother sometimes and have a made up sort of language

jester: she's got adhd and it means she loves having 10 conversations at once and spinning around and telling you all about her fave romance novel at lightning speed. she stims like all the time with little objects and ribbons and bells. also accidentaly yells a lot sknfsk and same as molly, likes noise n things all the time, gets kinda anxious or sad without it.. ;-; oh jester,, filling up space with noise so she doesnt have to be in the quiet..im not sure if i have any more thoughts about her rn :o

caduceus: he’s autistic (so overwhelmed by noises and too much all the time, also his empathy is fluctuating and he's not sure how to perceive it.. its confusing, he can be very empathetic and then, sometimes he's just in focus-mode and totally doesnt get at all what the vibes th other person is putting out is).. he’s got (inattentive) adhd. also depersonalisation derealisation disorder. and experiences psychosis since it was triggered by being alone in the grove so long + consuming hallucinogens a lot. he tends to just deal with it and not to tell tmn though, even though most of the time there's some little whispery noise or a fuzzy shape around, he's not scared mostly, only when he's triggered by something... also bad anxiety sometimes that he doesnt know how to deal with so he usually casts calm emotions on himself to help, or the herbs he chews (or smokes) for his joint pain help it. and also, his eating is Disorded but doesn’t quite realise (denial, ignoring it perhaps) the eating habits he has aren’t healthy,... he's just. kinda messed up still from all that time alone.. he had his own odd sometimes nonsensical reasons behind ways he treated his body and some of them stuck. also omg this section is a mile long im sorry,  but also he has dyslexia and dyspraxia and dyscalculia . .. numbers and letters and walking without bumping into stuff is tricky. also thats why his fine motor skills for writing /drawing aren't so good like in canon :-3 

ok,. thee end. good night now u_u zz

[waywardxrhea]

Part Forty-Nine: Here We Go Again...

[slow burn romance between Steve Rogers and SHIELD agent Emma Baker]

Warnings: 18+, contains humor, fluff, mental health, family trauma, romance, angst, language, violence.

installment list

Word count: 3.5k

Steve makes some big decisions.

Later on, as the celebration is winding to a close, Steve tells Emma about the plan to return the stones where they got them, saying, "We decided that after everything that's happened, I'm the most capable of returning them."

Emma takes in the words and nods as she leans into his chest to give him a hug. "Just promise me you'll be safe?"

"I promise I will be," he tells her with a kiss on the top of her head.

After one more day of observation, Emma is released to go back home. She thanks everyone who helped treat her before getting into a jet that is set with the coordinates to the lodge. Accompanying Emma and Steve to the lodge are Sam, Bucky, and Bruce. On the way there, Bruce details how they will be building a mini version of the time machine they used before so that Steve can return the stones to their proper places in time. While Emma still has her reservations, she knows that was the only way to get everything back to normal.

As they arrive on the property, Emma goes inside to start cleaning up odds and ends to distract herself while the guys work on the time machine outside. At one point Sam comes in for a small break, looking around the house and at all the new pictures that were added while he was gone. "Wow, y'all did lots of redecorating didn't you?" Sam asks aloud as he approaches Emma who is now sitting quietly at the piano bench staring off into space.

Emma jumps at the sudden voice appearing and nods, replying, "Yeah, a bit. We just wanted it to start feeling like our home rather than a rental space."

Sam nods as he sits beside her on the bench. "What's on your mind, Ems?"

"What? Nothing, I'm fine."

"Well judging by the fact that you always come and sit at this piano when you need to think about stuff or when you're upset, I'm assuming it isn't nothing."

Emma sighs and admits, "I'm just scared, Sam..."

"What are you scared of?"

Emma starts fiddling with her engagement ring to try and stop her hands from shaking as she tells him, "Last time we did the whole time travel thing we lost Nat... I'm terrified to lose Steve too, especially since he's going alone..."

"Hey, hey," Sam whispers, hearing the break in her voice and trying to prevent her from crying. "It's gonna be okay. All Steve has to do is put them back, he doesn't have to fight or anything."

"I know, but neither did she..."

Sam sighs quietly before telling her, "Emma, we just have to trust Steve here, okay?"

"I know, I just-"

Sam shakes his head and interrupts her, "Do you trust Steve?"

"More than anything," Emma affirms.

"Then trust that he'll be okay. He can hold his own, you know that."

"Oh, believe me, I know," Emma replies with a quiet laugh.

"It'll all work out, okay?"

"Okay..."

"Now I gotta get back out there, they may be super strong and geniuses but I'm the one who can build this thing," Sam jokes before grabbing a water bottle and heading back outside.

Later everyone is settled in for the night, well, all except Emma. While everyone else is fast asleep, Emma is wide awake, her mind racing with thoughts of Steve's mission details, the final battle with Thanos, and the time travel mission that they lost Nat to. She becomes so overwhelmed that she sneaks out of bed and into the living room to sit at the piano. She plugs in a few things to quiet the piano so she doesn't wake the others before she starts playing one of Nat's favorite songs. She begins to cry while playing so she stops and changes to a happier song, knowing that it wasn't good for her mental state.

About a minute into the new song, she hears a voice from behind her asking, "That's a really nice song, what's it called?" Emma jumps at his voice and Bucky realizes what he had done. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," he tells her quickly.

Emma takes a shaky breath, trying to stop her heart from racing before replying with, "It's okay, I'm just jumpy and on edge is all." She finally calms the shaking in her hands and answers his question, saying, "The song doesn't really have a title, it's just something I improvised."

"It sounds like it's got some 40's tones in there," he says as he sits on a chair a little ways away, not yet willing to test her boundaries and come closer.

Emma nods and replies, "I usually just mix some of Steve's favorite music with my own. He seems to like it."

"Well I think you're really talented," Bucky tells her quietly. They both sit in silence for a second before Bucky continues. "With everything that's been going on I guess I never really got the chance to say this, but I'm glad you and Steve are happy together. You know, he wouldn't shut up about you when he was saving my ass back in Germany."

Emma can't help the small laugh that escapes at the comment as she finally turns to face him, asking, "Oh really now?"

Bucky laughs and tells her, "Oh yeah, even when we were fighting for our lives, he was worried about you. Needless to say when they couldn't find you after that bombing he was pretty torn up. You seemed to be the thing that kept him going."

"I can guarantee it was because of you," Emma assures him. "He's wanted to bring you back ever since he figured out you were alive. He never told me about his search because of...well...certain circumstances, but..."

Bucky opens and closes his mouth, trying to find a way to properly apologize for what he had done as the Winter Soldier. He finally manages to get out, "Look, about that, I'm really sorry, I just-"

With those memories flooding back to her plus everything overwhelming her mind already, Emma can't handle thinking about it all right now. So she stands up and tells him quietly, "I believe you, I do, I just can't think about it right now. I hope you understand..."

Bucky sighs and nods his head, telling her, "I get it. Maybe another time."

Emma forces a small smile onto her lips as she nods and heads back to her and Steve's room for the night.

The next afternoon Emma is on her laptop pondering where to get the wedding cake done now that there will be a lot more people at the ceremony when Steve wanders into the living room and says, "Hey Em, can I ask you something?"

Emma looks up from her laptop and asks, "Sure, what's up?"

He takes a seat beside her on the couch and starts with, "So with the whole time travel thing and having to bring the stones back to where they belong, it got me thinking...what if you came with me? I talked with Bruce and he said that it would be okay for you to travel since they released you from the hospital in Wakanda. We could go back and live in the '50s after the war just like you mentioned you always wanted." He pauses before saying, "That past could become our new future. A fresh start."

Emma closes her laptop and puts it aside as she says, "A fresh start? We're getting that right now. Are you even hearing what you're saying?"

"What do you mean?"

"Steve, what I'm hearing you say is that you want to leave behind all of our friends -- no, our family -- who we just got back after five years. And what about Bucky? You finally get him back after all this running after him and you just want to up and leave him behind? Our future and a fresh start are right here in this house!"

"Well I didn't think about it like that, I just thought that we could go back and get married so we can live a simple life without having to worry about...everything."

"We can do all of those things here and now! I understand the temptation to go back to a time you know better, but-"

Steve's frustration gets the better of him, so he interrupts Emma by saying, "I don't think you do understand Emma!" He stands up, telling her, "We can talk about this later, I'm going for a walk..."

Emma's face falls as she whispers, "Oh...okay..." She tries not to cry as she gets up to distract herself in any way she can until she calms down. She didn't think she was being that irrational or anything... The thought of it though, why would they just up and leave everything they worked so hard for behind? 

Later that evening Emma is cooking dinner for everyone when Steve comes into the kitchen and wraps his arms around her from behind. He kisses the top of her head before telling her, "Hey, I'm sorry for earlier. I didn't mean to get frustrated... The idea of going back and staying just got in my head and I couldn't get it out."

Emma puts down the spoon and turns to face Steve. She rests her head on his chest and wraps him in a hug as she replies, "It's okay, love. I didn't mean to sound harsh, I was just shocked."

"I understand. While I was out walking I thought about it some more and you're right, it wouldn't be fair to leave everyone behind. I still have to return the stones tomorrow though, that fact doesn't change."

"Promise me you'll be safe?"

"I promise."

"Good," Emma says before hugging him tighter. She then laughs a bit and jokes, "I can't get married alone, Mr. Rogers."

Steve chuckles and replies with, "I would never leave you behind, future Mrs. Rogers."

Emma leans up to kiss him before saying, "Gosh I love hearing that."

From across the room, Sam and Bucky had wandered in and seen the whole exchange. Bucky makes a point of Steve hearing him as he asks Sam, "Are they always this affectionate?" Emma jumps a bit but relaxes as Steve pulls her close to comfort her.

Sam laughs at the question and tells Bucky, "Try living with it. See one time I just could not sleep because-"

Steve shoots Sam a look telling him to shut it. Before Steve can say anything to him though, Emma finally gets a word in with her cheeks beet red, saying, "I'm sorry I didn't realize you two were in here, otherwise..."

Steve smiles and pulls her back in for a kiss before telling her, "They can deal with it." A glint of mischievousness makes its way into Steve's eye as he adds to Sam directly, "Oh and Sam, those house rules you made have definitely not been followed in years."

Emma's cheeks ignite with fire once again as she buries her face into Steve's chest as he laughs. Sam rolls his eyes and says, "Oh come on man, I was perfectly happy not knowing that!"

Bucky raises an eyebrow and asks, "House rules?"

Sam sighs and says, "Let's just say that I'm surprised there isn't a little super soldier baby running around here at this point."

Bucky laughs at the comment for a moment, honestly happy for Steve and the love that he found. After the laughter dies down, Bucky tells the two of them, "Well we came in here because dinner smells fantastic, compliments to the chef."

Emma offers a small smile and says, "Thank you. Dinner will be done in about half an hour. In the meantime you boys can feel free to use the pool table in the den, maybe see if Bruce wants to play too."

"I'm down," Sam says and Bucky nods in response.

"I'll go get Banner," Bucky says before heading off.

"You coming, Steve?" Sam asks as he turns to leave.

"I'll be there in a few minutes, don't wait for me," Steve tells him.

"You just want more alone time with Emma," Sam teases.

"Guilty as charged."

"Well just promise me you won't violate the counter space while the food is still cooking okay?"

Emma laughs and calls after him, "No promises!"

After Sam leaves, Steve starts to help Emma with the food for a few minutes. Emma can sense the change in the atmosphere so she asks, "What's up Steve? You got really quiet. It isn't like you to not hum or talk while we cook together."

"There's just a lot on my mind is all," Steve tells her quietly.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, for sure. It's just..." he pauses, trying to find his next words. He sighs and starts up again with, "While I was on my walk earlier I made a decision that was really hard to make."

"And that decision was...?" Emma prompts, worry creeping into her mind.

Steve beats around the bush, not really wanting to say the words out loud because of the uncertainty that comes with them, so instead, he starts rambling. "It's just that after everything that's happened and how many times I've almost lost you I know I can't put myself through that stress anymore..."

"Steve, whatever decision you made I will stand by you through it, you don't have to be afraid to say it," Emma tells him before pulling him into a hug. "You...you aren't calling off the wedding though, are you...?"

"What? No! Never!" Steve tells her quickly, finally realizing that what he said could have implied that.

"Good..." she replies before rubbing her hand up and down his back lovingly.

Steve relaxes in Emma's arms and finally rips the bandaid off, telling her, "I think after I put the stones back, I want to leave the hero's life behind. I want to retire as Captain America, as an Avenger, as everything."

The words come as a shock to Emma so she asks, "Steve, hun, are you sure?"

He looks into her eyes and nods. "I'm positive. I feel like I've been fighting my whole life and I'm ready to give that up. The last five years have shown me what I really want and that's to settle down with you and live a normal life."

"Steve, love, nothing about our lives is normal," Emma tells him with a laugh.

Steve chuckles and kisses her before telling her, "I know, but I'm hoping we can try our best. I just never want to risk losing you again."

"And I'm happy that I'll never have to worry about you sacrificing yourself again." Emma turns away to tend to the food and teases, "So what's your retirement plan, old man?"

"I haven't exactly figured that one out yet," Steve admits, "but I know as long as I'm with you I'll be happy."

"Maybe we can take over the antique shop once Penny retires from there, she's been talking about it for a while now."

"I think I would like that a lot," Steve replies with a smile as he helps Emma finish up cooking dinner, forgetting about the pool game going on in the next room.

The next morning rolls around and everyone is preparing for Steve's mission. Emma makes sure he has a good breakfast before his trip because of her own past mistakes. She watches as Steve gets into his uniform one last time and asks, "You're sure you wanna give up the hero's life? I just want to make sure you're positive, it's a big change for you."

"I'm sure," Steve tells her, pulling her into a hug.

After he releases her and they start to leave the room, Emma playfully hits Steve's backside with a laugh and says, "I will say I'll miss seeing you in this uniform."

Steve chuckles and replies, "You won't be the only one." Emma cocks her head in confusion and Steve elaborates for her, "Scott Lang I mean. He's a super fan as you know, but on that last mission he said I had quote, 'America's Ass.'"

"I mean he's not wrong," Emma says with a wink and a kiss on Steve's lips.

"As much as I would love to kill time with you, once I get back we'll have a lot more time for us," Steve tells her, pulling away from the affectionate kiss.

"Fine," Emma pouts while laughing.

Steve grabs Thor's hammer off the floor and Emma stares at him in awe, saying, "I still can't get over the fact that you can wield that thing."

"Why, did you think I wasn't worthy?" Steve asks in a teasing tone.

"Oh you're more than worthy, it's just that no one thought it was possible after we all tried that one time at Avengers Tower."

"All?"

"Okay maybe not all, I definitely didn't, but you tried very hard and you couldn't lift it then," Emma tells him with a laugh.

"I'm happy that we can look back on that day now and laugh," Steve says as he takes Emma's hand in his own.

"Me too," she says with a smile.

They make their way hand in hand outside to where the mini time machine had been set up and see Bruce, Sam, and Bucky all waiting for Steve. "What took you two so long?" Sam shouts with a laugh.

"Watch it," Steve chuckles as he makes his way over to Bruce, dropping Emma's hand, ready to get this over with.

Bruce nods at Steve and says, "Remember, like we discussed, you're to put the stones back at the exact moment we took them or you're gonna open up a bunch of nasty alternate realities."

"Don't worry Bruce, I've got this," Steve tells him as he shuts the case.

Bruce sighs and admits to Steve, "You know, I tried. When I had the gauntlet and all the stones, I really tried to bring her back... I miss her man."

"Me too," Steve tells him sadly.

Steve then turns to where the others are and Sam tells him, "You know I could come with you right?"

Steve makes sure that Emma isn't in earshot and says to Sam quietly, "You're a good man Sam, but in the off chance that something does go wrong, I need you to be here for her if I can't be."

"Don't talk like that, Steve. It's all gonna work out. You're gonna make it back safe and sound and get married to that girl right over there if I have to go back and get you myself."

Steve chuckles and claps Sam on the back before he gets to where Bucky is standing. He smiles at his long-time friend and says, "Don't do anything stupid til I get back."

Bucky smiles a genuine smile at the words and replies, "How can I? You're taking all the stupid with you." The two share a hug, hoping it won't be the last due to this potentially dangerous mission.

After Bucky, Steve makes his way over to Emma and looks deep into her eyes before pulling her in for a hug. "Why do I have a feeling you're worried about this mission more than you're letting on?" Emma asks, her voice muffled in Steve's chest.

"That's because I know how to put on a brave face when I'm scared as hell," Steve mumbles back while rubbing her back comfortingly.

"Then don't go," Emma tells him.

"I have to, Em... Tony's still in no shape to do it, same with Banner, Sam and Bucky don't know how the tech works, and the others are off with their families right now. I'm our only option here..."

Emma sighs and nods, pulling away from the hug to look into his eyes once more. "Be smart, be safe, and come back home to me, okay?"

"Yes ma'am," Steve says with a smile.

"Here, take this," Emma tells him and takes the engagement ring off her finger to put in his hand. "I don't know how long you'll be gone, but keep that as a reminder to keep going, okay? So you remember what's at stake back home..."

"How could I ever forget?" Steve asks before tenderly kissing her.

After their moment together, Bruce clears his throat and asks, "Are you ready Steve?"

"Ready as I'll ever be." He nods as he picks up Mjolnir once more and hits a button to activate the time travel suit over his uniform.

"How long is this gonna take?" Sam asks as he takes his place next to Emma, hoping for the best but preparing for the worst.

"For him as long as he needs, for us about five seconds," Bruce informs him as he starts hitting buttons on the machine so Steve can begin navigating time and space, this time alone. "Ready Cap? Going quantum in three... two... one..."

Emma blows out a breath when Steve disappears and Sam puts a hand on her shoulder and whispers, "It'll be okay..."

She nods as Bruce announces, "And coming back in five...four...three...two..."

Once Bruce hits the final buttons, Steve materializes back on the platform not only with his fully intact shield on his arm but with someone else by his side. "Oh my God," Emma breathes as she sees the two of them on the platform together.

a/n: who are we thinking Steve came back with? and yes, i had to do another cliff hanger! we're very rapidly approaching the end of this story (i'm pretty sure there's two parts left, i cry) and i hope you all have enjoyed it as much as i have during the entire creative process!

next chapter

taglist: @mrsevans90

[crowsmybeloveds]

Shadow and Bone Series: Chapter Two

In Cold Blood

Pairing: Jesper Fahey x Reader

Summary: The Crows continue to visit Y/N at the Emerald Palace, and make some interesting developments.

Word Count: 4.8k

Warnings: Implied suicide (don’t take it too seriously hint hint); abuse; Pekka Rollins; again canon typical violence/slave stuff (this time it’s described more, but again nothing graphic); the Menagerie;

A/N: Thank you so much if you liked the first chapter!!! This one is a little longer and I promise the end isn’t as bad as it might seem.

Masterlist

~~~~~~~~~

Jesper Fahey liked to do his own thing. Sure, as a member of the Dregs he had to listen to his boss and go on jobs, but he loved his free time in between. Hence, he often avoided going on little arends for Kaz at all costs. It would be a waste of his time.

Jesper Fahey was now talking to Kaz. Volunteering for an arend. For the fourth time this week.

Kaz, Inej, and Jesper had been visiting the girl in the basement regularly since their first meeting with her. Kaz chalked it up to business, the girl and her potions were powerful assets, but the other two would admit they had found a new friend.

There were rules to these visits. First, only go during the day. Even if it seemed counterintuitive to sneak there in the broad daylight, Y/N insisted she would be unavailable in the night, as that was when her “work” was done. Also, if you are there, you must hide well behind the crates, and remain armed. You were lucky every time you made it out of there alive.

It was a daunting task, but Jesper was always up for it.

“You’re going to go there again?” Kaz asked him, eyebrows raised, “You know it’s Inej’s turn, correct?”

“Yes, and I also don’t care,” Jesper answered, “Also, she probably has things to see, people to do, and whatnot. I, on the other hand, have my whole day cleared. And I couldn’t deprive the lovely basement girl of this face.” He smiled, pointing to himself, “I mean, come on.”

Kaz stared at him, seeing through his antics in a minute. Jesper had taken a liking to the girl. What will happen the day he visits to find she’s not there anymore? Kaz thought. His hopes are too high.

“Fine, Jesper,” He agreed, “but be careful not to draw attention.” He scrunched his nose. “Do your best not to dawdle.”

“Right, I’m off then!” Jesper exclaimed as he clapped his hands together and ran off.

“I’m going tomorrow!” Kaz shouted after him.

The sharpshooter knew his boss was suspicious of his actions, but in all honesty he didn’t care. Normally he would have thought there wasn’t much spending time with her could do, as she had told him many of the same things over and over. That must have meant she had told him all that she knew. But Jesper was not going for information, he was going to be with her. He liked to think they were friends.

Jesper was often distracted. Whether he saw a pretty person to flirt with or a table to gamble at, he always found a way to not be doing whatever he was supposed to. Everything around him was so appealing and stimulating, especially in the Barrel. Even so, he sped down the streets without a single double take or second thought as he headed to the Emerald Palace. He really wanted to see her. So bad it was addicting. At first he thought that maybe the girl was drugging him, seeing as that is her particular expertise, but soon he realized that he just liked her. She was funny, and she laughed at all his jokes. She was also so intriguing. So powerful yet rendered powerless. He was enchanted, but he knew something was missing. It seemed it wasn’t her fault. He wanted to help.

That day when he arrived at the window (after making sure no one could see him, of course) Jesper saw Y/N sitting against the wall with her legs hugged to her chest. He called her name softly, and waited for her to reply. She didn’t reply, or even move. Against his better judgement, he shouted louder, risking being discovered by one of Pekka’s crew. He didn’t care. He banged the windows. Praying she would say something. Or turn her head. Or nod. Anything. She didn’t. A single tear rolled down her face.

Y/N had been sitting there for three hours. There wasn’t much to be said about what had happened. Only that she did not remember, whether her loss of memory was intentional or not. It was an off day, that’s all.

Jesper was panicking. He had no idea how to get her to wake up. That is, if she was asleep. Truthfully, he did not know what was wrong with her or what to do. Unfortunately, his noise making had roused a different group of people. Jesper had to run down the alley as he heard shouts coming his direction. He ran the rest of the way home, still in shock. He was not haunted by his near escape with the Dime Lions, but the look on the girl’s face. What had they done to her?

“And she didn’t move at all?” Inej asked. Jesper had just explained to her what happened after he showed up to her room at the Slat. She hadn’t appreciated being woken up from one of her rare naps, but she didn’t complain when she saw the look on his face.

“Not that I could see,” he replied, shaking his head, “Inej, I swear she could hear me.”

Inej did not know what to say. This kind of behavior was not usual for Jesper. He had his normal amount of energy, but it was not often it was all directed to one place: worry. It was odd that something upset him and he did not distract from it by going to gamble or making a joke.

“I just, if it were you I’d understand, but who could ignore me?” he said, “Going unnoticed is not a Jesper talent.”

There it was.

“You’re deflecting” She called him out, “It’s not funny. We should tell Kaz.”

“That's not funny,” Jesper replied, “what is Kaz gonna do? Tell us to stop talking to her?”

Inej sighed. It’s possible that he would advise that. But he also wouldn’t just let Pekka Rollins keep his most dangerous weapon. Especially not when she didn’t seem to have much loyalty. She had told Inej so many times. The girls had a bond due to the Menagerie, and Y/N told her much about her past and present. She explained different chemicals she had made and plans she had heard to Kaz. But with Inej, she explained how she felt about them.

Y/N hated every second in that basement. She had told Inej as much. Repeatedly. But she was rather scatterbrained. She repeated herself often and forgot things that she had already been told. She would forget what day it was and what she had done the night before. Inej had experience with trauma and sleep deprivation enough to shrug this off. She didn’t want to cause her friend anguish by questioning it.

The incident Jesper was describing made her think that maybe she should. Y/N was smart. Hell, she was a self taught Grisha fabrikator. So good, she could kill people from miles away. How could she be so forgetful? Someone so scientifically gifted must have a better mind than that. Someone must have been messing with it.

After some convincing to Jesper that Kaz would not kill or give up on Y/N, the pair made their way to their boss’s office.

“I was waiting for this to happen,” was Kaz’s response.

“What, that’s it?” Jesper raised his voice, “You have nothing else to say?”

Kaz glared at him from his desk. “I don’t know that you thought through your attachment to her, Jesper. You should never have assumed she was on our side.”

Jesper stared bullets at his boss in front of them. They seriously weren’t going to help her at all? She needed to get out of there, he knew that for certain. If it wasn’t because he cared about her then it should be because she is an asset. A good investment. Saints, he hated calling her that.

He didn’t say any of this, however, and instead started to walk out of the office. Just before he was out the door, he heard Brekker speak up.

“I’ll go and see her tomorrow.”

When Kaz Brekker reached the girl’s window, he gave it exactly seven taps with his cane, with a very specific beat. It was a signal he had made with Y/N so that she knew to open the window and talk to him without him having to raise his voice.

The girl turned toward the window at the sound. She set down the bottle she was currently working on and walked over. Kaz started speaking as soon as it was opened.

“How long have they been drugging you?”

Y/N scoffed, “Hello to you, too!”

“How long?”

“Um, never?” She replied, getting confused. “They don’t drug me with anything. I’d notice. That’s kind of my job description.”

Kaz looked to the side, thinking. The only way to explain her odd behavior, forgetfulness, and calmness in her position was that she was being manipulated. And because she was constantly making poisons and “potions” for Pekka, it made sense that she was being given her own drugs without her knowledge. He had thought this since he’d met her. She had to be on some sort of relaxers when he first saw her. Why else would she have so willingly opened the window for strangers?

“Why did you ignore Jesper when he was here yesterday?” He asked, hoping to get the information from her in a more roundabout way.

“I didn’t?” Y/N asked, “Inej was here yesterday, she got those vials of knockout gas you asked for.”

Kaz squinted at her, “Y/N, that was two days ago.”

She shook her head, “No, no, because I was working on those just yesterday and I just finished them when she stopped by. I haven’t seen Jesper in a couple of days, Kaz. Are you feeling ok?”

Kaz wasn’t sure how to react to this. She had missed the whole day? He was sure things like this had been going on this whole time, but never in the month since they began speaking with her has she forgotten a whole day. She had to have taken something.

“Are you self medicating?”

“No! Why- what are you talking about? What is going on?”

“Y/N, Jesper came here yesterday and you were sitting in that corner near catatonic. You wouldn’t speak or even move.” Kaz informed her.

“He must not have shouted loud enough, I was probably asleep.”

“You normally sleep with your eyes open?” He is tone was sharp. “Jesper said you were crying.”

She didn’t respond. She was shocked out of her mind. It was possible Kaz was lying to her to get some sort of information out of her, but it didn’t seem that way. He looked uneasy, the kind of unease that comes from not knowing something. He was a very smart man, and when something did not make sense to him he got nervous. So, this must have actually happened. And if she could not remember it, something was terribly wrong.

“I’m sorry, Kaz. I just don’t remember.”

“Fine. Then I need you to stop eating the food they give you. I’ll have Inej stop by with something to eat during the day.” Kaz paused, thinking. “And I would like to get you out of here, and have you join the Dregs. I just have to figure out how.”

“No, Kaz. I can’t leave.”

“Why? You have loyalties to Pekka Rollins?” He asked, anger clear in his voice.

Do I? She thought. While she knew his treatment of her was unfair, she wondered whether or not she still cared about him. In her time at the Emerald Palace, Pekka had told her many things about how he was the only one who would ever care for her. He claimed that he had saved her from the Menagerie, and he was taking care of her because he loved her. He also said that he would help her find her sister, often claiming that the potions Y/N was making was helping him follow leads about her.

When he started bringing men down into Y/N’s room, she was only a teenager. The first man that had ever touched her in that room also told her information about upcoming trips, which Pekka used to choose the perfect time to rob his house. Y/N felt disgusting in her skin ever since, but Pekka reassured her. I’m sorry , canary. I’ll protect you. Those men are not like me. While any sane person would call giving her food and shelter supplying her basic needs, Pekka called it courtesy. A gift because he loved her. A gift that could be taken away. He let men take advantage of her just so she could get him information, and then called it love. And she believed him. Until one day.

A man had come down into her room, which was usual for her on any given night. However, this man started out rough and stayed that way for the rest of his visit. She had tried her best with past men to get as much information as she could through simple flirting and drugging, but he was not there for small talk. For a brief moment, she considered saying no. In the moment following, she remembered what happened the other times she had done so.

She didn’t get any of the information she had been asked to draw from the man. Pekka was livid. The argument following had been explosive and painful. Not just emotionally.

“This isn’t love.” She tried to say it in a firm voice, but it came out broken and weak.

“How could you possibly know?” Pekka replied.

“Because you don’t deny it.” She said, summoning the strength to look up at him. “The men who come down here sometimes mention their wives. They might not be the pinnacle of married men, but I know they would never do this. This is bad for me.”

“Oh, is it so bad for you?” He raised his voice. “And who is going to treat you better, hm? Who out there would possibly care about you like I do?”

She turned her back to him. She sniffled as she cleaned up her worktable, silently hoping he would just leave.

He grabbed her arm, whipping her around to face him. “I don’t care if you hate me. You will stay here because of Anais. You will stay because you need me.”

The memory was scarring.

Kaz watched as Y/N got lost in her own thoughts. His voice startled her out of her memories. “Y/N, do you have loyalties to him?”

“My sister, Anais.” She breathed. “He is helping me find my sister.”

“Is that all?”

She shook her head. “You don’t understand. I need to find her. Have you ever had any siblings?”

Kaz paused for a moment. The comment seemed to toy with him. “No.”

“Then you don’t get it. I want to be with people I belong with. To figure out where I’m from.” She sighed. “Pekka is helping me with that.”

“And he has proven that he is actually doing so?”

“He said that he knew she was involved with the slavers who took me away. He is getting in with them to try and figure out where they took her.”

“Y/N, I don’t think he is actually doing that.” Kaz said, shaking his head. “This is your reason for staying?”

“And I have nowhere else to go!”

Kaz took a deep breath. He had decided what he was going to do for the girl since the day he met her. She was an asset. With her power he could complete jobs and gain kruge with record speed. Not to mention, if Kaz had her on his side, Pekka didn’t. The sweet taste of revenge covered his tongue just at the thought.

“I have an offer,” he began, “You come with me. Not now, but soon. I’ll come everyday to ask questions and we’ll plan your escape. In the meantime, you gather your things discreetly and try to find as much dirt on Rollins as you can.”

“But my sister -“

“If you are a part of the Dregs, you will help when asked, but the rest of your time is yours. Look for your sister, gamble your money away, take up baking, — I don’t care. You’ll be free.”

The offer was good. Great, actually. So why was she hesitating? Was Pekka’s manipulation really enough to make her turn away an opportunity like this? I don’t know.

And what about Kaz? Could she really trust him? The man wanted her for her powers, too. How was he different from Pekka? In her limited experience, he wasn’t. I should stay.

But Jesper. In the short while she had known him, Jesper had become her favorite part of being alive. And Inej, who was the kindest soul she had ever encountered. If they were with Kaz, he couldn’t be the demon he tried to be. At least not like Pekka. I should go. I should have gone a long time ago.

“Deal.”

In the weeks following, Kaz came every day to discuss every aspect of the Emerald Palace with her, in the hopes that he could get her out. Getting her out of the building would be simple, but keeping her from being hunted by the Dime Lions for the rest of her days would be complicated. The plan would have to be completely airtight, so Kaz needed time.

A few days later, Jesper was at the window speaking with her. The other members of the dregs would often visit along with Kaz and stay to talk to her, or they might come in his place. Today, after describing her entire tailoring process to Kaz, Y/N was speaking to Jesper about music.

“It’s like this huge golden machine made by Fabrikators, right?” Y/N smiled as she excitedly spoke. “And you take this small disc, place it on the machine and put the needle on it, and then music comes out!”

Jesper grinned at her. He loved the way she looked when she was excited about something. “I don’t know if I’ve ever seen one before.”

“Well, it’s wonderful,” she sighed, “Not to mention there’s thousands of the disc things, and each one is a different song. I wish more people had them than just the rich men who can afford it. I mean I wish I could have one.”

The two had been known to discuss things that had nothing to do with her escape, which Kaz had scolded them for plenty of times. But they enjoyed talking to each other, and they often got distracted. Odd topics of discussion were bound to happen whether they liked it or not. However, when Jesper realized that they had strayed from their original reason for speaking, he redirected the conversation.

“So, you get tailored nearly everyday?”

“Well, whenever anyone comes to see me. Only Pekka knows what I really look like. And you and your friends. Maybe it's a security thing.” She told him, thinking as she spoke. “Also, if anyone sees me who isn’t supposed to, I’m meant to drug them so they forget. Pekka really just does not want anyone knowing I’m here. Some bastard might try to steal me away.”

Jesper smirked at her. “I cannot imagine who would ever do something like that.”

Visits were going relatively well. Kaz had nearly enough information to finalize his plan for her escape, so he visited less and less. Y/N was becoming a solid member of the Crows even though she had so little time with them. She matched Jesper’s humor, built trust with Inej, and had a shared anger for Pekka with Kaz.

Today was Inej’s day to go visit Y/N, and she was running rather late. She knew the girl had mentioned not to visit after the sun went down, but Inej had been busy all day and could only find time to make it to the window after dark. When she got there, however, she realized why Y/N had made the warning.

When she looked through the window, she noticed that Y/N was not alone. When she looked closer, she realized Y/N was with Pekka Rollins. Luckily, Inej was the Wraith, she could watch what happened next without being seen.

“I don’t understand why you wouldn’t want to eat your dinner,” She heard Rollins speak first, in the most condescending tone she had ever heard. “Not after I worked so hard to get your favorite.”

Y/N sat on her cot, avoiding eye contact. “Not hungry.”

Rollins grabbed her by the jaw roughly, forcing her to look at him. Inej noticed tears shining in Y/N’s eyes. “Not hungry, hm? We both know that’s not true.” He laughed, with a terrifying lack of humor behind it. “Why are you lying to me, canary?”

The girl shook her head as the tears fell down her face.

“Your tears will do you no good.” Rollins snarled. “Do not forget what you are.” He paused, raising a brow. “What are you?”

The girl sniffled and didn’t respond.

“What are you?” He shouted and raised his voice this time, causing her to shake.

“A canary.” She whispered out.

“Good, and if I give you a song...”

He raised her chin higher, prompting her to finish his words. “I sing it.” The words fell from her lips like something rehearsed, but unbearably painful.

He gave a tight lipped smile. “Right. Don’t forget it again.” He sat down next to her and handed her the plate she had sat on the table beside her. “Now you eat and I’ll tell you about the man who is coming here tonight.”

Inej felt like she was going to throw up as she travelled the rooftops of Ketterdam back to the Crow Club. She knew Y/N was being mistreated at the Emerald Palace, but seeing it take place was something entirely apart.

As she walked in the doors of the club she felt a presence beside her. She looked over to see Jesper walking with her. He must have been guarding the door. He was waiting to ask a question.

“Yes, Jesper, I went to see her.” Inej spoke to him, her voice rough.

“And?”

“And Pekka Rollins was there.”

Jesper stopped in his tracks. “Saints, is she ok? Are you?”

“I’m fine,” Inej assured, “But I’m not sure about Y/N. He is anything but gentle with her. And he forced her to eat the dinner he gave her. I don’t think she’s gonna be able to avoid the drugs they give her anymore. If only she could remember to take an antidote before her mind goes.”

“Shit, we need to get her out of there, soon.”

The pair once again went to Kaz to discuss the girl, only to find him at his desk, writing furiously with two bottles in front of him.

“Kaz, Inej -“ Jesper was cut off.

“She told me how she’s been killing all those people.” Kaz stared at the bottle in front of him, observing it scientifically.

Inej and Jesper looked at each other before looking back at their boss. What was he on about?

“I don’t understand.” Inej had a confused look on her face as she tried her best to make eye contact with Kaz. She wanted to try and read him like she knew she could, but right now the man in front of her was like a blank page.

“Y/N. She gives them a liquid of her own design, but it isn’t poisonous,” He kept his eyes trained on his work, “At least not until she makes it poisonous. She can give someone poison hours in advance but it kills them right at the perfect moment. Right when she can get away. And, once they are dead, she can change it back to something nontoxic. It’s flawless: not a single trace is left.”

“Great, boss,” Jesper said, growing impatient. “Can we talk about why we are here?”

Kaz frowned, “What, because you want to get Y/N out sooner? She’s in a terrible situation?”

“Exactly,” Inej pleaded.

“If I tried to save everyone in the Barrel I’d be broke by dawn.” Kaz said, looking back at his work. Inej and Jesper stood there in shock. “If you don’t have anything else to say…”

Inej placed a hand up to keep Jesper from exploding. “Kaz, you told us that you would help her escape.”

“I needed information, Wraith, you wouldn’t help me if I told the truth.”

Jesper spoke up, “So you lied to us? And what did you tell her?”

“Nothing. She’s prepared to leave the Emerald Palace tonight.” Kaz tsked. “I doubt she’ll make it two feet out the building without our help. Solves all of my problems.”

Without another word, Inej slipped out of the room, leaving the boys to fight. Through the walls, she heard muffled shouting.

“How could you? You act like you have nothing you believe in but really you are so terrible that you’ve made yourself your own Saint!” Jespers voice was desperate, filled with rage. The betrayal he felt was clear even though he was muffled. He sniffed. “Put too much faith in that saint and he’ll kill your friends.”

Inej cringed, hating the harsh truths her friend was sending toward her boss. She had always known partnership with Kaz would mean conflict, but it also meant freedom. She and Jesper often commented on their cold-hearted boss. “We are both too good for him.” Jesper would laugh as he said it, but now it seemed to be a reason to leave. But where would they go? When it came to Kaz Brekker, no one was better, and no one was worse.

One thing was for certain, Inej was not going to let her friend die. She had just pulled Y/N up from the grave, and she’d be damned if she let Kaz Brekker push her back in. If he was so certain the girl would be dead by tomorrow, she’d get to her before then. She didn’t have time for Kaz’s lectures and Jesper’s shouting. There was a life at stake. She begged the Saints to help her, but deep down she knew that this was up to her and her knives. If Inej couldn’t save Y/N, the Wraith would.

When she reached the Emerald Palace, a nauseous feeling spread throughout her stomach. She willed her hands to stop shaking, but the tremor remained. She reached the window after carefully checking her surroundings and gasped at what she saw. Nothing remained in Y/N’s room but a white letter and dark ash, both standing out against the gray stone floor. Inej frowned in confusion. So, she is gone. Where could she be?

Y/N was a smart girl, she could be out of Ketterdam by now. However, she had barely had any human contact and had been drugged and manipulated for years. If she was not already found by Pekka Rollins, she could have already been killed on the street. But no one knew who she was, and only Pekka and the Crows knew what she truly looked like. She had become one huge question.

Suddenly, Inej remembered something.. Specifically, a conversation she had with Y/N not long ago.

Inej, this might be the worst thing I’ve ever made. She had said, a fire in her eyes.

Then why are you smiling? Inej replied.

Look! Y/N had pulled a thin glass bottle of a swirling liquid and a small flower out from behind her back. She then poured a drop of the bottle on the flower, which disintegrated into a pile of ash within seconds.

Saints. Inej was amazed.

Wild, huh? Footsteps came from the stairwell in the corner of the room. Shit. Inej, go. Inej hesitated. Go! He’ll see you!

Now, looking at the large pile of ash on the floor of the room, Inej realized what had happened.

“Saints,” She whispered, tears forming in her eyes. “She’s drunk it.”

She heard footsteps approaching in the alley, and immediately grabbed two of her knives, ready to protect herself.

“Easy,” Jesper appeared, holding his hands out toward her. “It’s just me.”

Inej lowered her knives as she stared back at him. “We’re too late, Jes. She’s gone.”

He laughed, nervous. “No, she wouldn’t.” He lowered himself down to the window. “No.”

Inej stood up and looked up at the stars, praying to any Saint that she could think of that she wasn’t dead. That her friend was out there somewhere. Alive. “Jesper, we need to get out of here.”

“But,” Jesper paused, his voice weak. “She was just here.”

“She’s not anymore.” Inej looked at him with pity. She could tell how much the girl had meant to him. “I’m sorry.”

“She was just here.” He repeated, voice cracks littering his words.

Inej grabbed his hand, forcing him out of this frozen state. “I know, Jes. I’m sorry.”

[dreamifics]

Love and Monsters

Steve Harrington x Reader!Henderson

Oneshot

Y/N Henderson's life was not like any other normal teenager's life, on a very young age her only friends was her brother, Dustin and his friends.. She was not popular in highschool, but she was not a nobody neither.. Y/N was just invisible, lost in the sea of students.. She was almost through highschool though, one day her life was turned upside down, literally and figuratively.. It's been months since the 'thing' happend, but she was still shaken up.

Y/N was laying in bed, My Generation blasting from her stereo.. She was home alone, her mother was out with some friends, her brother was hanging out with 'King Steve'.. Ever since Steve helped them about Dart, she grew closer to Steve but their short lived friendship ended when Dustin left for camp and Steve worked on their family business while she was stuck preparing herself for college.. Y/N misses Steve, his unfunny jokes and oh god--his laugh..

A loud knock startled her, she shot up from her bed, memories of what happend was flashing back to her.. Despite what she tells her friend, she was not okay.. She almost died twice and that opened up trauma's and issues within herself..

Another loud knock startled her, Y/N shakes her head and just ran to the door.. Reaching their front door, her icy hands made contact with the cold steel knob..

It revealed a disheveled Dustin and Steve, she could tell that there were excitement dripping all over them.. Steve was still wearing his sailor work uniform, he looked cute to Y/N but she once threw that thought in the back of her mind..

"What's up?" She questioned the two.

Dustin just smiled and pushed pass her, while Steve was reluctant to go in.. Steve avoided Y/N for almost the whole summer because of the daunting realization that he was catching feelings for her and that scared him.. Y/N was the kind of girl that likes to watch nerdy movies, spend hours playing games with a bunch of kids and save the world two times.. However, Steve was scared, he was still stuck in the unjustified rules of highschool and popularity. . He still wanted to be 'King Steve', but he also wanted to be Y/N's..

"Nice outfit, sailor boy.." Y/N winked and laughs at Steve, he just shakes his head and went inside their house..

Steve made his way to Dustin's room with Y/N right behind him, but before reaching Dustin's room, he passed Y/N's room.. He unconsciously stopped as he looks around, observing every corner of her room.

There were posters plastered all over her walls, books were all around her room in her bed, shelves and even floors.. In the other side she had a small collection of music that made Steve smile.. Because they had the exact same taste, she is the perfect girl.

"If you want to go in, you're free to wander around my room, anytime.."

Steve turned around to face Y/N, he misses her.. How Y/N sarcastic remarks leave her sweet lips or how she rolls her eyes whenever she see something stupid.

"I might just take you up on that.."

"Hm-mm.. You didn't even talk to me when Dustin left, you broke my heart, Steviee.." She jokes, but it sounded a little bitter.

Y/N did get hurt, Steve stopped talking to her when Dustin left, it seems like Steve didn't really like her as much as she thinks he did. Y/N was bored and got stuck just studying and sometimes hanging out with the party.. It was fun but she was looking forward to hanging out with Steve.

"I'm sorry about that, I didn't want to see my old friends hanging out with someone like yo---" Steve stopped his sentence, he didn't mean that.. His mind was a mess, he said those things because he didn't want Y/N finding out his stupid feelings

"Right..Yeah, I get it.."

"Y/N that's not what I me--"

"Cause King Steve shouldn't be hanging out with people like me?Gotcha.."

Steve didn't even had the time to reply, he was met with Y/N's slamming door.. He didn't mean that.. Steve loved hanging out with Y/N, he want to give her something special.. Steve wanted something more from Y/N.. He knew exactly what and he didn't need a reason why but Steve wanted to give Y/N something more..

Y/N was hurt, she didn't know why but Steve words brought devastation to her.. She felt disappointed and upset, Y/N was expecting something special.. She didn't know what or why but she was expecting something more from Steve.

Y/N was dropping off Dustin to the mall where Steve was working, her lips were in a unsual frown.. Y/N wasn't usally like this, she was having a bad week, Steve just hurt her feelings and she was taking it much harder, it was very unsual.. The two Henderson was making their way to the Scoops Ahoy shop, Dustin was rambling about a message he picked up while contacting his girlfriend.

"Are you listening?" Her brother asked as they reach the store.

"Yepp, you should go in now.."

"Y/N, this could be a good thing!"

"I know..If you need my help, you can find me in the food court.."

"Y/N.."

"Yeah, Dus?"

"Are you okay?"

Y/N's mind went blank, she hated lying to her brother but she didn't want to worry anyone.  She laughs and messed Dustin's hair.

"Of course.. Now go, you know where to find me.." With that she left..

Y/N was not okay, the last time she slept was a month ago.. Nightmares kept crawling back to her, she was growing more paranoid by the day.. She was not okay, but she couldn't tell anyone that.. Everyone else is okay, even Wil who had it more rough than her. And to top that up, she was broken hearted by Steve's rejection of their friendship.. Y/N just massaged the bridge of her nose, when will she be fine?

Dustin and Steve was in the corner of the mall with binoculars in their eyes, Steve saw Y/N.. Sitting alone in the corner, a walkman in her ears and a book in hand.. Y/N was mouthing the word as her eyes read every word on that book and Steve couldn't help but feel all giddy and guilty inside.

"You see anything?" Dustin snapped Steve back to their current task.

"Uh, I guess I don't totally know what I'm looking for.'' Steve answered honestly, Y/N distracted him again.

"Evil Russians."

"Yeah, exactly. I don't know what an evil Russian looks like."

"All blond, not smiling."

"Mm-hmm?" Steve's eyes didn't looked for any Russians, his eyes drifted to Y/N spot but she was gone.. Where did she go? He couldn't help but worry, was she talking to someone else?

"Also, look for earpieces, camo, duffel bags, that sort of thing." Dustin added.

"Right, okay, duffel bags." Steve darts his eyes away from Y/N seat but it only fell on a girl he asked out earlier.

"Oh, you've gotta be kidding me." Steve mutters.

"What?" Dustin questioned.

"Anna Jacobi's talking with that meathead Mark Lewinsky."

"If you're not gonna focus, just gimme the binoculars."

Dustin got annoyed by his distracted partner, he should have brought his sister along.. But he knew that Y/N was not okay, she seemed distant and lost in her own mind.. Always spacing out and Dustin can hear her cries from his room, it killed him to see her loving and hyper sister transform into a walking corpse.

"Aw, Jesus Christ, whatever happened to standards?"

"I mean, Lewinsky never even came off the bench." Steve rambled on, annoying Dustin.

"Dude, you are the worst spy in history, you know that?"

The two fought for the binoculars, but they just looked stupid.. Dustin initially gave up and gave the binoculars to Steve.

"I don't get why you're looking at girls. You have the perfect one in front of you."

"Seriously, if you say Robin again..." Steve closes his eyes waiting for Robin's name to come up but it never did.

"No, Y/N.. My sister.."

Steve's heart clenched at the mention of her name, he wants Y/N too.. What can he do? Y/N hates his ass now, he was a jerk and he didn't deserve Y/N.

"No, man, she's not my type." Steve answered while he diverts his eyes away from Dustin.

"I saw you staring at her closed door for about 5 minutes."

Steve eyes grew wide at the realization that Dustin was watching the whole time.. Dustin just shakes his head, if he was asked he'd say that her sister felt the same way..

"She's not even... in the ballpark of what my type is, all right?"

"What's your type again? Not awesome?"

"Thank you."

"Hm."

"For you information, your sister is too sarcastic, she's too nerdy for me.."

"Also, she's too...boyish.."

Beautiful, that's what he wanted to say..

"Dude, that's my sister you're talking about, and besides she's not like that.. She's nerdy but so what? Y/N's also not boyish, she's just secured with her masculinity.."

Dustin's word echoed throughout Steve's system, he already knew that.. But somehow hearing it from another person's perspective made him like you more.

"Y/N's just not my type.." He lied..

Y/N was everything he ever wanted in a girl.

"Thanks for the clarification, Harrington." A voice surprised the two.

Y/N was standing behind them, her arms crossed..  Steve's eyes widen in surprise, did she hear everything? He didn't mean that, what did he mean?

"I didn't mean t--"

"Dustin, if you told me you'll stalk people in malls, I should've brought you to a psychiatrist.." Y/N ignored Steve and just focused on her brother.. Y/N would be lying if she haven't felt more hurt by the words Steve dropped.. She had been listening since the talk about girls came up, Y/N spotted the two doing eccentric things and she decided to eavesdrop.

"No, it's called spying.." Dustin rolled his eyes at her sister remarks while Steve was still frozen..

"What's the difference?" Y/N asked, her eyes still focused on he brother..

"It's just different, okay? Were looking for the--" Dustin stopped and looks around to see if anybody was near..

"Russians?" Y/N continued in a loud tone.

"Shh!" Both Steve and her brother shushed her. Y/N was surpised, she glares at the two and moved closer to them.

"Fine, can I tag along? I'm bored and it'll be nice to be a national hero."

The two looked at each other, Steve was nervous.. Y/N obviously didn't want him around, but this could be a chance for him to apologize to Y/N.

"Sure, you can help us look for russians with dufflebags and camo." Dustin pulled her sister to his side.

"That's kinda racis--"

"No, it's not!" Dustin cuts her sister off making Y/N laugh..

"Whatever you say Dus.."

And that's how she ended up inside a theater with two kids and two drugged teenagere.. Y/N's breathing was heavy, they were captured by Russians just moments ago.. Adrenaline was pumping through her veins, she thought this town was finally normal again, but turns out she was wrong.. Very very wrong..

They needed to get out of this hellish mall, Y/N need to find out if there's still russians lurking out, looking for them.

"The two of you need to stay here and take care of them." Y/N instructs to her brother, she pointed at a floopy Steve and Robin.

"Wait--Where are you going?!" Dustin stopped her by pulling her arm.

"I'm going to see if those fuckers are still looking for us.."

"No, we'll come with you.."

"Dustin, you need to stay here and keep a low profile.."

"Y/N don't be a hero.."

"Hey, Dipshit!I'm not trying to be a hero, what I'm doing is protecting you guys because our two friends are drugged and beaten while we brought a little kid into our mess!And I will do everything to keep you all safe, even if that means I get hurt or killed!"

Dustin knew that there's no talking Y/N out of this, her sister was right.. Taking a deep breath, he just nods and hugs her sister..

"Just please, stay safe.." Dustin was in the verge of tears but Y/N held him tight in her arms.. Dustin pulled back, Y/N gave her brother a comforting smile, she rubbed his cheeks and pat his head.

"I'll be okay, I'm a Henderson for god's sake.."

Dustin laughs as tears stroll in his face, she kissed his forehead and walked away, trying not to attract attention.. Taking a deep breath she left the theater, she'll do whatever it takes to keep her brother and her friends.. Y/N's mind flew to Steve, she was pissed off but she was not sure anymore.. The way he saved them and got beat up for them, she couldn't find a reason to be mad at him, all she can think about is his childlish look and how hot he is in his sailor uniform. Y/N just shakes those thoughts away and tried to focus on her task..

Russians..

Steve and Robin were throwing up in a seperate cubicles, they were getting the drugs out of their system.. Retching and puking can be heard all through out the theater bathroom, Steve groans and flushes the toilet.

"The ceiling stopped spinning for me. Is it still spinning for you?" Robin's voice can be heard from the other cubicle.

"Holy shit. No. You think we puked it all up?" Steve rested his back to the mini wall inside the cubicle..

"Maybe. Ask me something.."

"Interrogate me." Robin said in a mocking russian accent.

"Okay. Interrogate you. Sure. Um... When was the last time you, uh, peed your pants?"

"Today."

"What?"

"When the Russian doctor took out the bone saw."

"Oh... All right, my turn."

"Okay. Hit me."

"Have you... ever been in love?"

"Yep. Nancy Wheeler. First semester, senior year." Steve imitates a gunshot.

"Are you still in love with Nancy?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I found someone else, she's a little bit better for me.It's crazy. Ever since Dustin got home, he's been saying, 'You know, you gotta find your Suzie. You gotta find your Suzie.' "

"Wait, who's Suzie?"

"It's some girl from camp, I guess his girlfriend. To be honest with you, I'm not 100% sure she's even real."

" But that's not- that's not really the point. That doesn't matter. The point is, this girl, you know, the one that I like, it's somebody that I... didn't even talk to in school. And I don't even know why."

"Maybe 'cause Tommy H. would've made fun of me or... I wouldn't be... prom king. It's stupid. I mean, Dustin's right, it's all just a bunch of bullshit anyways. Because, when I think about it, I should've been hanging out with this girl the whole time."

"First of all, she hates me now because of a stupid thing I said but when we hanged out, we were bonding and shit.. She was perfect for me, she's nerdy, hangs out with kids too much.. She likes the same things I like, her brother is my bestfriend.. Sometimes I wonder if she's real, because she's too perfect."

"Wait--You like Y/N?"

"Yeah, ever since last year.. I like her so damn much, I can't even believe that I said to her that I shouldn't be hanging out with someone like her."

"YOU SAID THAT?" Robin's voice boomed out all over the bathroom, Steve just sighs and slids out of the cubicle..

"Unfortunately, yes.."

Steve slid in to Robins cubicle, she was glaring at him.

"If you ask me, Y/N doesn't deserve someone like me.. She--She's too nice to be caught up in my miserable life.. And besides she would never like me.."

"I think you're still high.."

"No, I'm not.."

"Do you remember what I said about Click's class? About me being jealous and, like, obsessed?"

"Yeah?"

"It isn't because I had a crush on you. It's because... she wouldn't stop staring at you.."

"Mrs. Click?" Robin chuckles and just shakes her head.

"Y/N Henderson, I wanted her to look at me. But... she couldn't pull her eyes away from you and your stupid hair. And I didn't understand, because you would get bagel crumbs all over the floor. And you asked dumb questions. And you were a douchebag. And- And you didn't even like her then and... I would go home... and just scream into my pillow."

"But Y/N's a girl.."

"Steve.."

"Oh.."

"Yeah, now listen..Don't give me the 'she doesn't deserve me' and 'she doesn't like me back' crap.. Y/N was inlove with you since highschool, now you will tell her all about your mushy mushy feelings and you'll two will get married, have kids and you'll have me to thank for. "

"But what about you?"

"Please, I moved on.."

"Really?"

"Hell yeah, with my pretty face?I could find someone in a jiffy!"

The two were laughing when Dustin and Ericka burst into the bathroom.. Annoyance and frustration written all over their face..

"Okay.What the hell?!" Dustin asked very annoyed.

"Dude, we're normal again.."

"That's not the problem now, we need to find Y/N and go with the rest of the party."

"Y/N's not with you?"

"Do you see her?" Erica asked with the normal sass in her voice. Robin rolls her eyes at Erica who just glares at her.

"Where did she go?" Steve ignored Erica's sarcastic question

"She said she'll check the perimeter, but she hasn't come back since." Dustin answered, she was worried for her sister.. In their situation, who wouldn't?

"Shit." Steve and Robin both utter at the same time.

Y/N was changed into a much more inauspicious clothes, it was just some pants and a shirt tucked into it.. She fixed her disheveled hair and wiped her sweat.. She needed to blend in, her eyes wander around the mall.. There were Russians walking around, bviously looking for someone and that someone was them.. All the exits are heavily guarded by guards, there's no way out..

Taking a deep breath she walked back to the theater, praying that her brother and friends was safely still there but before she could even reached the theater, a russian man spotted her..

"I got eyes on one of the target!" The russian said into his earpiece, making Y/N run to the higher level of the mall, her heart racing and she was starting to feel tired.

Y/N just ran until she lost the russian, her breathing was getting shorter by the second..  Y/N's leg was starting to hurt but she ignored it and looked down to see if she can spot her brother..

And there they are, getting chased by guards.. Worries pumped into her brain as they run.. She needed to help them, if not they could get killed.

"Hey stupid spies!I'm right up here, morons!" Y/N screamed at the top of her lungs as she waves her hands around..

Steve and Dustin was horrified as they hide into the counters, Y/N was risking her life for theirs..

The guards that was chasing them made eye contact and targeted Y/N but before they could do anything a car honk.. The russians looked at each other, confused and dazed.. Eleven can be seen controlling the car, she throws it at the bad men and all they could hear were groans..

Y/N felt a surge of relief, she made her way to her brother.. Dustin, Robin, Erica and Steve pop out from behind the counter, steam hissing.. Y/N saw her brother and they all rushed up to hug her..

A tight hug welcomed Y/N, but this hug wasn't just from Dustin.. It was also from Robin, Erica and Steve.. Suddenly they all look up to see the rest of the party.. The hug was cut off by Dustin running to hug Mike and Eleven.

"Lucas?" Erica saw her brother and it made Lucas confuse..

"What are you doing here?"

Y/N who was just taking in deep breaths smiled to herself.. They were safe, but she knew this was not over.. Steve stayed in Y/N side, Robin's word replayed in his mind.. This is his chance to say his undying love to Y/N.

"Y/N?"

"Hmm?" Y/N saw Steve besides her, she was growing tired but Y/N needed to keep thriving for everyone.. Y/N saw that Steve was hesitant, he was nervous and it made her felt nervous too.

"I--I uhh.." Steve mumbles, his tongue was backing out.. Y/N had such a powerful effect on him, to the way she says his name, and everytime Y/N calls him, his heart skips a beat.. It sounds corny, but it was true..

"What?Do you need a speak and spell?" Y/N joked, it didn't help a struggling Steve.. He started to grew more anxious, he needed to get this off his chest.. This could be the last time they all see each other alive, there's no telling what could happen to them.

Y/N was just staring at him

"I have something to confess---"

Steve was cut off by El who was in pain and grunting in the floor..  They all ran to her aid and helped her with the pain she was going through.. Steve slightly curses at himself, maybe this was not a great time for a love confession.. He needed to focus on surviving this hellish adventure.. Again 

It finally ended.. Y/N was relieved, it was over.. They were safe, Y/N and Dustin were sitting in the back of an ambulance, a blanket around them as they hug each other..

"If this shit happens again, we're moving.." Y/N jokes.. Dustin chuckled, maybe they should.. However, the adventures were growing more fun and dangerous..

"Nah, we love being heroes.."

Y/N laughs as she held her brother tighter, she fixed his hair and wipe some dirt off his face.. Even if he's old now, he'll always be Y/N's baby brother.. She smiled at the memory of Suzie and Dustin singing in the middle of mayhem and chaos.

"Stooop, I'm all grown up now!" He stood up and made his way to his friends..

"Don't get too far, lover boy!" Y/N shouted causing Dustin's cheek to blush..

Y/N sighs at the sight of her brother walking away from her, this is the last time she'll save the world, she was tired of monsters.. Y/N was just enjoying the cold air of the night when someone cleared their throat.

"Hello to you Harrington.." Y/N smiled at Steve, he was just standing infront of her.. Y/N can't help but feel giddy when Steve's in his sailor outfit.. It saddens her that Steve was still stuck in his highschool mindset..

"I have something to tell you.." Steve mumbles incoherently, but Y/N understood it.. Steve was always nervous when Y/N's around, he remember the first time he saw Y/N..

Steve saw Dustin on the street asking for help, and he didn't believe at him first but he was soon convinced by how Dustin was nervous and scared.. They pulled up at the Henderson's residence, that's where he first saw--no that's not the right word..

That's where he first acknowledged Y/N..

She was sitting on the porch steps on her pajama's, there were dirt on her face and her hairs a mess.. Y/N's face lighten up when he saw Dustin getting out of the car..

"Hey Dus------What is he doing here?" Y/N's face dropped when he saw Steve also getting out of the car.

"He's our back up.." Her brother answered short and continue walking into the entrance of the basement.

"I'm back up..'' Steve said cocky at Y/N, she just scoffs and followed Dustin..

"For a guy with a black eye, you're awfully confident.."

"That's what seeing a pretty girl like you does to me.." Steve didn't know what he ate that time but he had this whole new confidence when he started talking to Y/N.. However, Y/N didn't seem impressed to his corny jokes and pick up lines, she was always scoffing and rolling her eyes..

"Yeah, you said that too when we were inside..That" Y/N's voice pulled him back to the present.. Y/N gestured at the burning mall infront of them.

"Yeah.." Steve cleared his throat, he opens his mouth, but the words won't come out he's chokin', how, everybody's jokin' now, the clocks run out, times up, over, blaow   .

"Are you gonna say something?" Y/N was starting to get nervous, did she do something to make Steve act strange? He was shaking, the sweat on his forehead is flowing like the Niagara Falls.. That's not attractive yet for some reason she found it hot..

"Oh--Yeah--Uhh.." He failed to say words again, why can't he just go straight to the point?

Robin who was with the rest of the party was staring at a stuttering and nervous Steve.. The rest started to notice even Jonathan and Nancy who was in each others arms..

"When is he gonna tell my sister that he likes her?" Dustin ponder as he stares at the two..

"I don't know, he's taking forever just uttering one sentence.." Lucas pitched in making the others laugh..

"I thought Steve was a suave and cool guy?" Mike jokes causing some of them to laugh, some was just quiet.. They were still having a hard time grasping all of this, especially Max..

"He's a nerd just like you guys.." Nancy answered, they all shake their heads as they watch Steve nervously fidgets..

"Alright, I finally had enough.." Robin whispers, the party turned to Robin, carefulky watching to what she had under her sleeves..

"HEY Y/N!" Robin shouts..

Y/N broke her gaze with Steve and brought it to a shouting Robin, not far from them.. Steve just froze to his place, panic started blaring out through his mind..

"WHAT STEVE'S TRYING TO SAY IS HE FREAKING LIKES YOU!" Robin shouted, and it all made them freeze.. Y/N blinked rapidly, did she hear that right? Steve l-likes her? What? When? How? Where?

Steve felt embarrased, he wanted the crawl in a hole and die.. Robin was dead to him, how could she do that? Now Y/N's gonna start to avoid him, she obviously doesn't like her back.

"I-Is that true?" Y/N finally asked the question she was dying to ask, she never really thought about Steve that way.. Fine, she's not gonna lie, there were some thoughts about Steve that kept her up at night..

"I can explain--If you don't feel the same it's totally fi----" Steve panicked and randomly said any excuses he can think off, not giving Y/N a chance to speak..

Y/N rolled her eyes at how Steve was rambling on, she smiled and stands up.. Pulling Steve sailor outfit, she kissed him..

Steve pressed his lips harder on Y/N, he wanted this kiss to happen since he first saw her.. And now it's happening, Y/N puts her arm around Steve's neck.. This was her first kiss and she was glad that it was to Steve.. They both kissed as the burning Star Court crumbles infront of them.  Y/N didn't knew that you can find love and monsters in this terrifying situation..

Dustin groaned at the sight of her sister and bestfriend kissing, he wanted to vomit and scoop his eyes out.. This was not a sight for sore eyes..

"Ugh!I don't want to watch my sister exchange salivas with Harrington!" Dustin sigh under his breath

"Get used to it, you'll be seeing a lot of him.." Robin teased making Dustin die inside.

"Dammit!"

Y/N was just thinking that some people lost someone special, Eleven lost Hopper.. Max lost Billy and the rest will wake up in the morning with terrible memories haunting them everyday, they can no longer feel the assurance that they're safe in the quiet town they grew up to. They knew everything that lies withing the depths of this ground, all the horrible things that Hawkin Labs brought.. Chief Hopper and Billy Hargrove died for them, they were heroes.. And the sad part is, no one will ever know.. Those who deserves to be recognized is no longer here, the heroine act they did save the world yet the world doesn't even know about them.. But Y/N and the rest knows that the sacrifices they made won't go to waste, they'll do everything in their power to keep whatever haunts this eerie town at bay.

I found this highly nice but cringey at the same time so bear with it, I also wanted to update my series about James Potter but I just can't seem to end it ughhhhh..Anyways, I hope you guys like this one..

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[jojikawa]

Mrs. Bucciarati | Bruno Bucciarati x Fem! Reader | JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

┊❥ Part 6 - Down Time

MASTERLIST

✧『Fandom』: JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

✧『Character』: Bruno Bucciarati

✧『Word Count』: 3,129 words 16,714 characters

✧『Summary』: The group kills time as they wait for Giorno and Mista to reach their destination.

The group quickly made its way back on the road to Venezia. Mista, Fugo, and Giorno were on the surface, driving the car while everyone else stayed inside to protect Trish as a second line of defense.

Inside the turtle, you had been sitting in between Narancia and Abbacchio. You had sat there first because Narancia wanted to show you something in the magazine he was reading but Abbacchio made it awkward by sitting next to you.

You had taken notice because previously, he was trying to avoid you.

Bruno was sitting on the other side of the table, his head tucked into the laptop that was used for communications. You wanted to talk but you felt like that would be distracting since he wanted to focus.

You didn’t know why but often, you would think of the first time the two of you met and the events that followed. You used to cringe at the memory of it but now that you were sure about your feelings towards him, it was wholesome.

One of your favorite memories with him was during a “charity” event your father held a few years ago. It wasn’t actually for anything charity-related.

Just another excuse to greet Italian capos. You hated it. You hated how corrupt your father was. He had a way of keeping investors while still doing dirty work.

Amongst them was Polpo from Passione in Italy and with him was a young Bruno Bucciarati. He was 17 at the time and you had just turned 16. Polpo agreed to take Bruno with him after much begging on his part. The boy just wanted to see you again.

That night, you were completely upset. Your father wanted you to sing since he and much of the staff agreed you had a nice singing voice. You were too nervous and honestly, you couldn’t even see yourself singing well at all. This upset him and he made you stay by him all night.

The ball was boring until Bruno had arrived. He found you quickly and wanted to talk. He figured that you were being held hostage by your father and wanted to help.

When we walked over, he cleared his throat. “Excuse me.” He said, grabbing your father’s attention. Your father had been speaking to a popular district attorney.

“It’s an honor to have been invited here, Mr. (l/n).” Bruno bowed, trying to seem as gentlemanly as possible.

Your father finished up his conversation before nodding the attorney away and taking a sip of his drink. “Oh, Bruno Bucciarati. I didn’t know Polpo was bringing you. I’m sure I only sent out one invitation.” Your father joked, even laughing when no one found it funny.

You just tried to tune him out, fiddling with your dress that was the same color as your father’s tuxedo.

Bruno humored him, laughing as well. “Well, you see, I couldn’t pass up the chance of hearing (y/n) sing so I had Polpo make room for one more.” His eyes lingered over to you. Bruno seemed so friendly and soft but he was tall for his age and it was almost intimidating…

You looked away, blushing after seeing the innocent twinkle in his eyes when he saw you were all dressed up. Normally, you were wearing loungewear since you were always inside. You looked so stunning!

“That’s too bad because little (y/n) over here decided that she didn’t want to help me pull any investors and she’s not singing at all tonight.” Your father lazily waved his hand in your direction, sipping more of his wine.

“I don’t believe I can sing. I’ve never had any lessons.” You spoke up for the first time. Your father narrowed his eyes at you. “Then after tonight, we’re getting you some.”

You sighed, looking away from your father and off to the side. This was so awkward… you wanted to leave.

Bruno saw what was unfolding and intervened before things could escalate.

“There’s nothing to worry about, Mr. (l/n). I’m sure (y/n) has an amazing voice. She’s just shy and there’s nothing wrong with that. Perhaps, I can help her build her confidence.” He offered his hand to you. You just stared at it.

Your father sighed. “I suppose so. I trust you, Bruno.”

Your father then let you spend the night with him and it was a lot better than just standing around.

All night, Bruno had been such a gentleman and even slow danced with you when no one was watching. You weren't very good and neither was he but you still found it enjoyable.

You had been reminiscing about the past when your thoughts were interrupted by Bruno who had been speaking to Abbacchio.

Bruno had gotten a message on the laptop asking Abbacchio to use his stand to reveal a message that was left behind.

Everyone had gathered around and you got up to look too.

Abbacchio decided to go back 15 hours. The person Moody Blues took the shape off was of the older man you had seen when you all first picked up Trish.

He explained more instructions for the team to follow. You felt so out of place. Everything about this was so bizarre. The moment you get to be with Bruno, you get wrapped up in some elaborate plan. You haven’t sat down with him since you arrived.

When you came to, you saw the image of Mr. Pericolo with a gun to his head. You had only zoned out for a moment! What happened?

Pericolo explained that because of his influence, the enemy knows that he’s helping Bruno deliver Trish. He isn’t a stand user so he doesn’t know how he could defend himself.

His only escape was killing himself before they got to him. It was tragic but these are things you sign up for in Passione.

He pulled the trigger and you saw red before Bruno hugged you to his chest and turned around to block the image of what you almost saw.

You tried to resist but he only held you tighter until the image of it was gone.

“Oh my god!!” You heard Narancia yell.

Trish and Abbacchio were speechless. You had wished that Bruno could’ve used his energy to protect the eyes of one of the children, especially Trish, but it was over now.

You wanted to cry but you were in so much shock. You felt like after everything was over, you would need some kind of therapy. It’s only been a few days and you’ve endured so much trauma. You were just a human.

“Bruno…” you tried to loosen his grip. “…let go.”

He squeezed you again when you had said his name but then without a word, he let go of you. He stood up to talk but his eyes were darkened and he was visibly sweating.

“Mr. Pericolo.”

You were dazed for a moment by his behavior but then you looked over at Trish who must have been traumatized.

You walked over and grabbed her hand. “I’m sorry that you had to see that. Are you okay?” You asked, sweetly. Her eyes darted over to you. She was shaking and sweating as well. It hurt you that she had to deal with all of this at such a young age.

“M-mhm.” She nodded and gave your hand a tight squeeze. “It’s going to be okay.” You told her.

You then realize that you would have to comfort Narancia, Fugo, and Giorno, as well. Being a mother figure wasn’t easy. You felt so obligated to be there for all of them but it was impossible.

You didn’t know how helpful Bruno was towards the younger members but you could only hope he took their mental health into account.

Before you could ask everyone about how they felt, Bruno had sent Mista and Giorno to drive while the rest of you stayed inside the turtle.

You couldn’t figure out why Bruno kept sheltering you. He wanted you by his side or inside the turtle at all times. You wanted to be able to help him protect everyone. You were tired of him acting like he could do everything on his own.

It was hard trying to get a good word in since everyone was in such close proximity. To everyone else, the way you and Bruno interacted was similar to parents. All of the kids had prominent parental issues so the two of you served as a support system when they needed it.

You were sitting next to Trish and you were unsure if you should give her space or make yourself available to speak to. You thought that maybe you should use this time to talk to Bruno but Trish had actually spoken first.

“Mrs. Bucciarati, what was your life like before you came here?” Her voice was pretty monotone as always but you could tell she was sad.

“My life? Well, I was pretty much a homebody. I just tended to my garden and practiced Italian.” You answered.

“Practicing Italian? Why?” She looked at you before realizing you weren’t a native Italian. It’s probably why your dialect sounded a bit different than most. You had a more formal way of speaking compared to the others.

“I’m from America and I know Bruno because I’m the daughter of a boss as well.” You explained with a smile. She didn’t reply to you. She just stared at you with her mouth opened a small bit. Maybe she could finally relate to someone.

You then turned your attention to Bruno who had been using the laptop. You were so worried about the boys. It didn’t feel right for you to send Mista and Giorno out on their own.

“Bruno.” You got up from your spot with Trish and went over to Bruno. You didn’t want to create a scene, so just in case things escalated, you spoke in English.

“I know you have faith in the boys, but is it really wise to send them out on their own? I could’ve gone with them.” You said down next to him, not really interested in what he was doing enough to look.

He just hummed before saying. “I don’t want you to be separated from me anymore. The last two times we got separated, you were hurt and every time we’ve been attacked, you were hurt.”

You huffed. “But you told me you were proud of me. You still don’t believe I can handle myself?”

“Cara mia, I know you can handle yourself but I just can’t have you hurt anymore. You were only taught to fight to a certain extent. If either of us makes a mistake then you could be killed.” His voice was firm. He’s never spoken to you in this tone before and it almost embarrassed you.

“But we have made mistakes. We both have. I’ve done my part in helping. I just still haven’t proven myself to you.” You turned away from him, upset that he was babying you and belittling the training you went through just for him.

Bruno look over at you who had been completely facing the other way. He reached over to your shoulder but you lightly jerked it away.

Why couldn’t you just understand that he was trying to protect you? Was it really wise to promise Giorno this ridiculous plan? Your first impression of Italy has just been filled with bloodshed. Although, if he didn’t then he never would have been Capo.

How long would it have taken him to reach the status of Capo normally?

Bruno pushed those thoughts out of his head. Maybe he was smothering you a little. It was just so hard not seeing you as a delicate flower anymore. He wished that he could’ve seen you more.

As an attempt to show affection, he reached out to your hand that has been free and resting on the sofa. The tips of his fingers brushed yours lightly but you had quickly curled them up, hiding them in a fist.

You didn’t seem to want to hold hands either.

Across the room, Fugo and Narancia were pondering on what you two could’ve been talking about. They didn’t know much English either. It was easy for the others to pay so much attention to you because of how new you were to them.

“Hey, Fugo, you know some English right? What do you think they’re talking about?” Narancia asked. “I’ve never seen Bucciarati so soft!” He hoarsely whispered into his ear.

Fugo, who was trying to rest his eyes, was getting annoyed at the boy. “No, Narancia, I don’t know what they’re saying. I’m not going to violate their privacy either. If it were meant for us to hear, then they wouldn’t have changed languages in the first place.” He explained. This made Narancia frown and retract himself.

You figured that maybe you should talk to Abbacchio for advice. You went over to the purple schemed man and Bruno’s eyes followed you curiously.

He watched as you talked to Leone with confidence and not anything at all like he expected. At first, when you first met them in Naples, he could sense your fear for that man but now you didn’t seem like you were at all.

“Leone,” You sighed and his head snapped over to you. You jumped at his reaction. “A-Abbacchio, I mean, sorry.” You raised your hands in defense and began to sweat. His neutral expression didn’t change. Deep down he didn’t mind your voice saying his name.

“As Bruno always called the shots this way? Sending the children out?” You asked softly.

This annoyed Abbacchio but still, his expression didn’t change. Of course, you would want to talk to him about Bruno of all people. Since you’ve been here, it’s just been about you and him and can’t even last 2 minutes apart when you’re just a foot away from him.

He knew that the only reason he felt this way was that he was jealous. He was probably just jealous of Bucciarati the whole time. What would it take for him to get a woman like you?

“Yeah. Always been that way.” He replied. “They know that they’re doing. Nothing new.”

A small gasp left your mouth. Everyone seemed so uncaring of the safety of the boys. But this didn’t have to mean the end.

You just had to be strong enough to protect them yourself. “I see.” That was all you had said. You didn’t care if it didn't seem like Bruno had faith in you or that there were so many children or how nonchalant Leone was about it. You had a stand too and you knew how to use it.

“Th-That’s all.” You smiled nervously before giving the man his space. You scooted further away, not wanting to move around too much and irritate everyone.

When you looked up, you saw that Bruno was just staring at you, watching. He looked upset but not angry. You wanted to comfort him but you were still upset with him. You’ve worked so hard and it’s like it doesn’t even matter to him.

For some hours, you occupied yourself with a magazine. You tested yourself by reading Italian fashion articles and keeping notes of things you wanted to buy with Bruno’s money. You made sure to bookmark pages with nice shoes and dresses you’d like to try on.

Your actions were interrupted by feeling a portion of the couch next to you sink. You looked to your left to see it was Bruno with the computer resting on his lap. He didn’t say a word and only shifted his weight so that his thigh was touching your exposed one.

This made you blush, so hard that physically acknowledged that he had done this when his goal was to be smooth with it.

“B-Bruno-” You whispered. Bruno ignored you, resting a free hand on the thigh closest to him. He leaned over, so close that the message you got was that he was trying to kiss you.

Really? In front of everyone? What’s gotten into him?

“Are you upset with me?” He whispered into your ear.

Your face heated up. You would feel his breath hitting your ear.

“N-No.” You replied, turning your head to him.

His eyes were narrowed and his face frowned. He leaned in further but he didn’t kiss you. He…licked your face?!

You yelped, breaking contact with him. What the hell was that!?

“To me, it seems like you’re lying.”

“Huh? Is this that lie detection thing you told me about? I thought that was a joke…” You wiped the faint sign of saliva on your face. “Warn me next time, okay?”

He chuckled before kissing you softly. “I thought it would cheer you up.” He said in between breaths.

You kissed back tenderly, your cheeks burning at his actions. Was this a dream?

Your minor make-out session was cut short when Narancia had brought you both back to reality.

Butterflies grew inside of you as you covered your face and turned away. You were always such a shy and delicate flower and now he knew that he could tease you with a public display of affection.

Narancia had been volunteering to be the one to go out to be on the surface so that he could use Aureo Smith to find Mista and Giorno.

You parted from Bruno, enjoying the remaining time just leaning against him. His body was warm and his cologne was faint with a hint of sweat from all the intense fighting.

You were an odd couple but the love was undeniable.

Mista and Giorno were found. Mista had sustained a lot of injuries, which the blonde male healed with his stand.

You played your role and scolded Mista at his lack of awareness to which he replied by calling you “Mom.”

“You should be more careful. You can’t always expect your wounds to be fixed. Giorno can’t help you forever!” You tapped his forehead aggressively.

“Hey, Hey! Yeah, I get it, okay, mom?” He swatted your hand away. This made you giggle.

“Mom? Where’d that come from?” You asked, chuckling to yourself.

“ ‘Cause, you’re annoying like one.” He yelled at you with faint pink dust on his cheeks.

You were the first female figure in his life that worried about him the way you did. It was very easy for them to get attached to you since they were all from broken homes.

It has only been a few days but with Bruno’s tough love and your soft and gentle nature, you two were scaffolding for what having parents was like. Minus the killing of the mafioso members pursuing you, of course.

It was unfortunate that such a cute “family” would come to an end.

[accioromione]

okay im a Romione shipper but I always had this question..you know how harry + hermione are like brother and sister, why is it that although Ron and Hermione met and grew up with each-other during the same time, they developed feelings, why did this never happen for Harry or Hermione?

Ouuu you got yourself an analysis. I did feel lazy to write...but I’m going into essay mode now. Literally I can make a video on this lol. 

Okay so obviously for there to be mutual attraction- both parties have to like each-other. So I will explain why they both don’t like each-other like that individually. 

Let’s start with Mr. Harry Potter. 

Now we know he doesn’t think she’s ugly. But if you read the books, even in Hermione’s Yule Ball scene, he never has a physical reaction to her. When he described her looking pretty it was just that, ‘she looked pretty.’ With Cho and Ginny however, we see that he describes their looks alongside a physical reaction he has to them, when he see’s cho there’s a ‘jolt in his stomach’ and later Ginny, ‘a raging monster in his chest,’ he never experiences this with Hermione. So although he doesn't think she’s unattractive, he himself, is personally not physically attracted to her in a way that renders a reaction. 

Next, remember that Ron and Hermione are Harry’s FIRST friends. He did not grow up with a sister, and the only relative his age is Dudley, who bullies and abuses Harry. He’s mentioned as having no friends in school, and he’s been isolated his whole life. It makes sense that he would develop a family like connection with the first people in his life to show him affection. Look at how attached he got to Hagrid, because Hagrid was the first adult figure in his life who helped him. After Ron and Hermione, he has two friends, it makes sense that he would not be as attached to the next people he meets from then on. 

Hermione’s personality is not one that Harry is attracted to romantically. As a friend, yes. But romantically, she is quite the opposite. The reason he loses attraction for Cho is because she becomes emotional after Cedric’s death. Harry hates this. Harry does not deal with emotion well at all. And this is a result of developing humour as a defence mechanism for abuse and trauma. Harry wants someone he can joke with, someone he can escape his trauma with. He simply is uncomfortable around highly emotional people. Hermione is a highly emotional person, she cries a lot, and is very passionate about things. Harry wants a ‘chill’ girl a ‘go with the flow’ girl and Hermione is anything but. He does not want to play the comforter,  he is so uncomfortable around emotions that people have speculated that was due to he Voldemort inside him. However, I think it’s because after years of trauma, abuse, being an orphan, losing so many loved ones, he turned off his emotions, rather than deal with the tragic reality that was his life. If he wasn’t able to do this, he would not have been able to defeat Voldemort in the first place. Ginny is perfect with Harry here, because she grew up with six brothers, she is essentially the ‘chill’ girl Harry is looking for. 

Hermione questions him. One of Harry’s flaws, that also kind of makes him a hero in the process, is that he is confident in his plans and abilities. He does not like being questioned. Hermione does not blindly listen to Harry, she questions him and does it often. Much to Harry’s annoyance. In OOTP when she questions him, and says he has a saving people thing, he gets so angry with the fact that she could even think he’s wrong, and does not consider for a second that he just might be. Hermione’s always the first to nag Harry about what he does, and Harry despises this. Example, when Hermione lectures Harry about the Prince’s book because of what Harry did to Malfoy. 

“I won’t say ‘I told you so,’ ” said Hermione, an hour later in the common room. “Leave it, Hermione,” said Ron angrily.

Harry had never made it to dinner; he had no appetite at all. He had just finished telling Ron, Hermione, and Ginny what had happened, not that there seemed to have been much need (…)

“I told you there was something wrong with that Prince person,” Hermione said, evidently unable to stop herself. “And I was right, wasn’t I?” “No, I don’t think you were,” said Harry stubbornly. He was having a bad enough time without Hermione lecturing him; the looks on the Gryffindor team’s faces when he had told them he would not be able to play on Saturday had been the worst punishment of all.

Give it a rest, Hermione!” said Ginny, and Harry was so amazed, so grateful, he looked up. “By the sound of it, Malfoy was trying to use an Unforgivable Curse, you should be glad Harry had something good up his sleeve!”

“Well, of course I’m glad Harry wasn’t cursed!” said Hermione, clearly stung. “But you can’t call that Sectumsempra spell good, Ginny, look where it’s landed him! And I’d have thought, seeing what this has done to your chances in the match —”

“Oh, don’t start acting as though you understand Quidditch,” snapped Ginny, “you’ll only embarrass yourself.

See the difference between the two? Even Ron gets Harry...Hermione just doesn't have that stop button. She doesn't really care about how a person feels, if they’re wrong, well, they’re wrong. She doesn’t just do this with Harry. But for someone like Harry, who already thinks the world is against him, this is a big deal. He needs someone like Ginny who will defend him, not someone like Hermione who will question him. 

She’s not fun enough for Harry. Harry likes adventure, Harry likes humour, but Harry can’t do it alone. He vibes off of the people he’s around. It makes sense, Harry deep down, is a very sad person. When he’s left with someone who isn’t lightening the mood, he can easily be dulled out. As we see in GOF,

"You miss him!" Hermione said impatiently. "And I know he misses you -"

"Miss him?" said Harry. "I don't miss him. . .

But this was a downright lie. Harry liked Hermione very much, but she just wasn't the same as Ron. There was much less laughter and a lot more hanging around in the library when Hermione was your best friend.

Ron and Harry are different in that Ron does not have the trauma Harry has. Ron doesn’t NEED to be filled with positive people all the time. He can simply BE the positive person. Hermione’s lack of humour in situations or seriousness, doesn’t impact Ron, because, well he can deal with it. He can make jokes on his own, just like Ginny can. Harry and Hermione are incapable of doing this, especially later on in the books. They need to be surrounded by people that bring out this side in them. Ron can stay silent for two hours with Hermione in the library and not think about Voldemort, Harry can’t, he needs a distraction, he needs people that are the  ‘lives of the party.’

Hermione is too passionate about things for Harry. Harry- I have it worse Potter, cannot be bothered to debate about things like SPEW or care enough about Hermione’s school schedule. He simply has bigger things going on. He needs someone that understands this, that doesn’t add extra burden or stress into his already stressful life. 

Now for Hermione,

Hermione is naturally a perfectionist and a worrier. This is not because she enjoys worrying, she simply cannot help it. Having someone like Harry, is a worrisome thing, she is CONSTANTLY worried about him. This is not something you would want on your significant other, with Ron, she’s more at ease, yes he has his problems, but, they’re simply not as excessive as Harry’s. She can avoid worrying as much when it comes to Ron, and simply enjoy her moments with him, this is something that brings her peace. 

Hermione needs someone who values her opinions. Ron is that person. They are always fighting because Ron is actually listening to what Hermione has o say, he actually pays attention to her passions and interests. He doesn’t agree with them all the time, where as Harry I have worse potter, zones her out. In third year, Ron is wondering where she is all the time, he is confused about her schedule, Harry doesn’t care, the man who betrayed his parents escaped Azkaban, whats a few more extra classes? Hermione, as passionate as she is, needs that, she needs someone who cares about what she does and why she does them. 

Hermione needs someone who isn’t high-stress. Harry may not be high-stress with school, but he is high-stress in general. Hermione is the queen of being high-stress, she needs someone to reduce that anxiety, not elevate it. And Ron is just that person. 

Hermione needs someone who can take her criticism. When she tells Harry he’s wrong or has the wrong idea, Harry is furious with her. Where as although Ron gets mad, he takes it better than Harry, or he challenges her in a way that tells her to explain why she thinks that instead of just being upset with her thinking it in the first place. Harry is simply more prideful than Ron, which is perfectly okay. Ron is able to put things aside, but Harry dwells. Hermione has easily been way more critical to Ron, but he gets over it. Ron having 5 older brothers who tease him, is more lenient towards critical remarks from Hermione. Harry is not. And Hermione simply cannot contain these remarks, she just can’t. Harry will not say anything and simply be like ‘Hermione is the worst’ Ron will be like ‘why are you saying that?’ Example with Scabbers, Hermione refuses to apologize, Ron TELLS her he just wants an apology. With Harry, he wouldn’t ask, he would just expect one. Ron is also able to get over it without an apology. 

Ron is more emotional/ deals with emotions better. Hermione needs someone who can understand her emotions, because well, she’s an emotional person. Harry shuts out emotion, Ron, who has lived in a loving family, filled with hugs and Christmas and kisses, is used to showing emotion. He can handle her tears, he won’t run away at her crying. Every-time Hermione cries in the book Harry describes himself as being uncomfortable, where as Ron is either comforting her or approaching her in a way that shows the readers he isn’t scared of this. Hermione needs that in a significant other. 

There are a bit more points to make as well, but I think that covers the jist- otherwise I can go on for hours. Because it is really amazing to me in just how obvious Ron and Hermione’s relationship differ from Harry and Hermione’s and just why that is

[hellowkatey]

it's late night writing hours my guys. so here's a little bit of what happens before and after Echo gets absolutely wrecked by a cafeteria tray in Aftermath

2.6k words ~ CW: PTSD/panic attacks/medical trauma

For a glorious moment, Omega revels in the chaos she had started. She isn't quite sure what foodstuffs make up the greasy loafs that are served in the trooper's mess hall. Whatever they are, they make a satisfying splat noise when hitting armor, and get quite a bit of air when thrown.

Now, the revolting loafs are sailing through the air from every direction. Omega ducks behind Hunter as he decks one of the clones clear across the table. His other hand reaches back to lightly pat her upper arm, as though to make sure she's still there. Her heart soars at the gesture, and she grins as wide as her face allows while jumping on the table to chuck another handful of food at a trooper winding up to punch Echo. It smacks him in the cheek, distracting him long enough for Echo to land a left hook of his own.

Crosshair is still seated, ducking out of the way of projectiles while continuing to shovel food into his mouth. Omega watches with great amusement as Echo is kicked backwards— straight onto Crosshair's tray. His face begins cycling through the stages of grief, and ends on anger. She can't help but giggle at him slamming his fist on the table and whipping his ruined tray like a frisbee, hitting three separate troopers in the process. Though he seemed hesitant to engage earlier, he lunges at a clone that has Tech in a headlock, sending all three of them in a tangled heap.

Omega's adrenaline is pumping, heartbeat in her ears as she takes a running start and throws herself onto the shoulders of a clone. The room blurs as he whirls her around, hands trying grab her small arms. When he can't seem to whip her off, the clone suddenly bends forward at the hips, bucking Omega down onto the table. He obviously didn't expect her to be so light because she slips from his grasp and slides toward the end of the table, the air getting pushed out of her lungs. She lies still for a few seconds, breathing heavily.

What she's above makes her adrenaline high suddenly vanish. In the window that overlooks the cafeteria, Lama Su glares down at the food fight. Standing next to him is a military officer— high ranking by the looks of him. He sneers at the flying food and the troopers, saying something to Lama Su with his lip curled in disgust. She's seen his expression before on the faces of others that come to tour the facility. People revolted or offended by the very idea of clones. They're the type of people that seem little too interested in the decommissioning process. Omega has not idea who this is, but he looks official and that gives her a bad feeling.

With her breath back in her chest she rolls to her stomach just in time to see Echo sitting on the floor in the midst of the fighting. He also stares up at the officer and Lama Su, disgust across his own pale face. Does he know him? she wonders.

But as he is distracted by their spectators, the clone he knocked to the ground picks up an abandoned tray and raises it above his head.

"Echo, watch out!" Tech yells, reaching out to the cybernetic clone, but getting tackled to the ground before he can do anything. Omega's eyes widen in horror as the trooper puts his entire strength behind the tray as it swings, slamming into the side of Echo's head.

"Echo, no!" Omega screams as he pitches to the side, eyes already closed and mind dead to the world before he even hits the ground. She quickly presses a button on her commlink that alerts medical to her location and jumps off the table to weave through the troopers that have been momentarily distracted by the jarring sound of a metal tray hitting cybernetic implants.

Tech has fought his way to Echo's side, two fingers pressed against his neck as he yells out his name. The rest of the Bad Batch has taken notice of their fallen brother now, and suddenly the entire atmosphere turns serious. Wrecker isn't laughing anymore as he picks up clones and literally throws them out of the way to clear a path. Hunter and Crosshair, who were displaced to the other side of the caf, now run across the top of the tables, landing punches and throwing trays without breaking stride. Tech has hoisted Echo over his shoulder as the rest of their squad form a protective circle facing outward. Omega slips behind Hunter, unable to take her eyes off Echo's unresponsive face.

"We need to get him out of here," Tech says, his eyes flickering to every one of the cafeteria entrances. Probably doing a calculation of some sort for the quickest way to the med wing.

"Medical is on their way, we can meet them in the corridor," Omega offers, but the others don't seem to process that she's even there. She cowers at Wrecker's side, anxiety that they're upset with her eating away at her heart.

"Keep tight, let's move," Hunter says, and they all seem to know exactly what that means. Wrecker, Hunter, and Crosshair flank Tech on both sides and at his back as they run toward the exit.

They nearly pass the medical droid rushing toward the caf with a stretcher.

"Wait!" she yells, louder this time. Even if they're mad at her, at least she can try and make it up to them. This time, they actually listen to her. "This stretcher is for Echo,"

The boys look at one another and then seem to accept this. Tech gently places his unconscious brother on the stretcher as Nala Se comes rushing around the corner. The medical droid wastes no time and performing a quick scan.

"CT-1409 preliminary assessment: head trauma resulting in loss of consciousness. Patient is stable but require further testing."

"Echo isn't going to like that," Wrecker mutters.

Nala Se's blank eyes flicker from the unconscious clone to a food-covered Omega a she comes to a stop at the foot of Echo's stretcher. The medical assistant can already tell she is in for a big lecture after this stunt.

"Take CT-1409 to the medical-wing," the Kaminoan scientist says in her airy voice. "Omega, assist in the transport."

Omega places her hand on the side of the stretcher, avoiding the hard gaze of her mistress. "Yes, Nala Se."

The Kaminoan now looks at each of the others. "All clones involved in the cafeteria incident are required to be assessed for injuries," she says. "You will report to the lower level medical wing immediately."

A weak chorus of "Yes sirs," rings out and the Kaminoan continues down the hall toward the caf.

Omega starts pushing Echo's stretcher toward the medical wing, feeling the heavy footsteps of four shadows trailing behind her. Apparently a direct order wasn't enough for them.

"They won't let you guys in while he's getting tests run." Omega says while staring straight ahead. Looking at them now will fill her with too much shame.

"We're staying with him," Hunter replies as-a-matter-of-factly.

"You'll get in trouble."

"We're already in trouble, what's breaking one more rule?" Wrecker says.

Omega suddenly stops, forcing herself to look at them. They all have varying degrees of worry etched across the faces. She locks eyes with Hunter, hoping she can at least get him on her side. The last thing she wants is to be the reason they get in trouble again. "At least go get your check-up and clean the grease off your armor. If you show up with me, covered in food, then you'll have to change into medical gowns... and I'll get in trouble." Hunter's eyes soften slightly, but she can still see his hesitation. He doesn't want to get her in trouble, but this is also one of his brothers she's telling them to leave. She knows how deep loyalty runs for these men.  "I promise I won't leave his side until you come to see him."

"We'll be back in ten minutes," Hunter says after a heavy sigh. "If he wakes up before then, comm us."

"You got it," Omega nods in understanding. Though the others don't seem too happy about leaving Echo, he gives him a pointed look and their shoulders slouch with compliance. Omega starts pushing the stretcher again and is halfway down the hall when Tech appears at her side.

"Echo does not do very well with medical tests," he explains, staring at Echo's prone figure rather than directly at Omega. "I recommend, from experience, to wait until he is conscious and aware of what is being done to him before performing any procedures outside of contactless scans."

Her eyes wander over the complex configuration of wires and tubes that wrap around Echo's head and body. She looks back to Tech, nodding.

"Thank you for telling me. I will do what I can to make sure he's okay."

Tech gives her a small smile, turning around, but then pausing. "Oh, and when he does wake, he might start swinging. So keep your distance and remove any possible projectiles." With that, he starts jogging after his brothers. She cannot tell if he was joking or not.

Omega lets out a shaky breath, holding back the urge to cry as she pushes Echo into the medical wing. AZ takes over as she ducks into the scrub room to change her soiled clothes.

Somehow trying to stand up for her friends has turned into one of them getting hurt— she didn't want that to happen she just... wanted to show them she was on their side. For a little while she did feel that incredible rush of belonging. But was it worth landing Echo in the medical bay?

Of course not. They'll never let me be one of them now.

It was dumb. Provoking a room full of troopers that already have it out for the Bad Batch was a thoughtless act. Nala Se is no doubt going to remind her of that and use it keep her sequestered from now on.

Omega emerges in fresh clothes as AZ is completing the brain scan. Echo is still unconscious.

"Is he gonna be alright, AZ?"

AZ's bug eyes always make him look like he's pitying whoever he's looking at. "CT-1409's"

"Echo," Omega interrupts him. "You can call him Echo."

The droid pauses, taking a moment to process that request.

"Patient CT-1409, a.k.a. Echo's scans are clear of skull fractures or bone contusions. My preliminary assessment is that he has sustained a mild concussion consistent with blunt force trauma. He will require a brain tissue scan to ensure there is no bleeding or clotting,"

"Good," Omega lets out a sigh of relief. "That's good."

"Your services will not be required further, Omega. You are free to return to your assigned duties."

She glares at the droid, crossing her arms over her chest. "I'm staying, AZ. I promised the guys."

"But mistress Nala Se summoned you to the sub-level medical wing. You must go."

"No!" There's no way she's taking orders from a AZ. Even if he is her friend. "I'm staying here until he wakes up."

AZ shakes his head, his unexpressive droid face somehow looking disappointed. He hovers over to Echo to begin performing the tissue scan, and Omega goes to look for a blanket or something to make their patient more comfortable.

The distinct whirring of the scan is interrupted by a sharp gasp. Omega turns as Echo starts to flail.

"No! Get them off," he gasps, his arms swinging but hitting nothing. There's a clouded look in his panicked eyes as they frantically search the room.

"But my tests are not yet complete," the droid tries to explain while continuing to move closer. Omega is already running across the room, shoving AZ to the side.

"Echo, Echo, it's—" his unfocused gaze shifts from the corner filled with bacta tanks to her. "It's okay. It's me, Omega." His chest rises and falls as though he's been running for miles, and she raises her hands so he can clearly see them. "I understand." As his breathing slows, she realizes that AZ must have attached a heart and respiration monitor to Echo while she was changing. She slowly reaches down to pull them off of him. "I don't like being hooked up to their machines either."

A few brief memories float passively through her mind. Wires and needles and tubes coming from various places on her body. The sticky feeling of bacta on her skin and gathering between her fingers and toes. Silent tears streaming down her face every time she saw the instrument cart was full for the day.

Omega releases him from the monitors and looks up at him. Echo is still coming out of his panic, but he seems calmer now. He looks at her as though she has seven eyes and two noses, but at least he finally sees her.

"Hello CT-1409," AZ pipes up.

"His name is Echo," Omega reminds him.

"My name is AZ-34521189..." as he drones on with his serial identifier, Echo and Omega exchange glances. She offers him a comforting smile and though he doesn't really react, he does scoot himself further from AZ and closer to her, which is good enough for now. When AZ finishes, his body spins around on its axis, and Wrecker's voice suddenly rings out through the med wing.

"Ha! Told you he's alive!" The rest of the squad, now clean of grease, stroll in. "You owe me two credits," Wrecker says, jabbing a finger at Crosshair. They seem surprisingly relaxed, most of them nodding or even smiling at Omega as they gather around the foot of Echo's bed. The fact they even acknowledge her is unexpected.

AZ turns to the rest of them to give his assessment. In the mean time, Omega turns her attention back to Echo. His eyes aren't glazed over anymore but he still seems uneasy. Definitely uncomfortable sitting on a medical table. Omega has overheard the rumors of what happened on to him— how Echo was an ARC trooper that got captured and experimented on. It's obvious from his chemically bleached skin and the complex assortment of cybernetics that he's been through a certain kind of hell. But judging from how he reacted to a simple scan and heart monitor, she cannot imagine how bad it must have really been.

She decides to take the risk and lays her hand gently over his. His wide brown eyes look from the rest of his squad to her hand atop his, and then finally to her. Echo gives her an appreciative nod and a slight smile. Warmth fills her body again, stronger than it was when they were joining her in her food fight pursuits.

The young medical assistant looks to the others now, only to find Hunter has been ignoring AZ's grand reveal that they are genetically defective and is instead watching her. The sergeant's lips form a curious half-smile as he watches her pull her hand away from their injured brother. The giddy warmth in her chest builds even more. They aren't mad at her after all. In fact, she gets the feeling that they might even like her. Or, at least, acknowledge her existence-- which is progress from earlier.

Omega realizes that maybe grand gestures shouldn't be her approach in trying to get them to notice her. Maybe just showing them how much she truly cares about them is enough.

Definitely no more food fights... unless one of the others is the one to initiate it, of course. If that's the case, Omega will be the second one to throw the greasy Kamino caf loafs.

[cl-01-kestis]

The Proposition

Dismay - Grand Admiral Thrawn x Rebel!Reader | Part 10

Summary: You seem to be growing closer to Thrawn with each day that goes by as you’re kept prisoner on Lothal, and after spending a late night with him, you receive an interesting invitation.

Warnings: this is a pretty long chapter, alcohol consumption

Cheunh Translations:

Nah = No

Mar = Yes

It was day 4 of being Thrawn’s ‘guest’. You’d grown accustomed to the monotone colours and lack of untidiness in the chamber you were cooped up in. Your holodevice had been repaired, you got it back last night and left it on your nightstand so you could use it in the morning when Thrawn woke up and went to do his job as Grand Admiral.

The feeling of waking up beside Thrawn every morning was something you had adjusted to very quickly whilst being held by the Empire. Neither of you would be touching, you’d be in your own sides of the bed, but your bodies would still be fairly close. He held you whenever you had a nightmare, or couldn’t get to sleep (mostly any chance he got to).

Today was Benuday, you knew because you were trying your best to keep track of the days that went by and the limited time you had left with Thrawn before the rebels made an attempt to rescue you. This morning, he made you breakfast but unfortunately didn’t have time to wake you up due to how busy his schedule was for today, so you woke up alone and in a cold bed. But hey, you got breakfast.

Thrawn wasn’t in his chambers when you showered and done your usual routine of walking around aimlessly and scrolling through your data pad. He left you a note in Cheunh saying that he was requested at the cock pit and wouldn’t be back for a while, so you had no other choice but to lounge about.

You thought a lot about how much you missed your daughter, and as well as Kallus and all the other rebels back on Yavin. It hadn’t even been a week and you hated it, you hated the Empire. But Thrawn’s company was the only medication to distract you from all the negativity you were experiencing. He comforted you when you were feeling upset, laughed with you at corny jokes, uttered a smile whenever you done literally anything, stole glances from you every chance he got, and treated you as an equal rather than someone below him.

The only thing that brought you peace at this moment in time was the fact that Thrawn hadn’t changed one bit. The only difference was his ageing appearance and wiser-sounding vocabulary. Aside from those things, he was the same boy deep inside you always knew and grew up to love. Now that was comforting.

As well as spending time with each other whenever he didn’t need to work and catching up on the 14 years the two of you were apart, you truthfully opened up to Thrawn about Omani. You told him her interests, stories you remembered of her whe she was a baby, the things she hated, what she wanted to be when she became an adult, and all the small details Thrawn had missed out on for so long. In a sense, you felt like you robbed him from fatherhood, he was so fond of having a family, only to miss out on his daughters entire childhood. It felt wrong.

He didn’t seem to show any signs of anger or disappointment towards that, but then again, he was excellent at hiding things, especially his emotions. Either way, he was infatuated by your stories of Omani’s birth, the things you went through during labour, all the hardships and trauma, but she was a healthy baby girl. When you told him that, his eyes sparkled. You could tell he already truly loved her, and he hadn’t even meet her yet. You hoped he would get the chance one of these days.

The little squeaky gurgles of a 6 month old Omani blasted out of the speaker of your holodevice as it projected a video you had kept for years, one of many that logged videos and photos of Omani’s growth and all the things she was up to throughout her childhood. In the video you were watching, you, looking much younger, had her perked up on your hip and swayed about as a song echoed in the background. You looked at the camera which was set down on a table in the cantina on the rebel base at Yavin 4, bouncing her on your hip and holding one of her tiny blue hands, her fingers wrapping around one of yours, proving how small she really was.

Ahsoka was in the background, not in the video much but you spotted her laughing and encouraging Omani to dance as she wriggled in your arms. At this time, she would’ve been talking by now. No other words apart from ‘Mama’, ‘Nah’ and ‘Mar’. But she laughed a lot in the videos, her cheeks bright and her face glowing as she looked up at you and tried to grab your hair with her small hands.

Thrawn sat beside you in his bed, his shift was finally over and he joined you in watching the videos on your holodevice. So far, he was absolutely loving it. His smile outshone everything in the room as he watched a younger version of yourself dance with your, then, 6 month old daughter. His smile seemed to widen every time you or Omani laughed, and whenever you took her hand and waved it at the camera.

The two of you watched a few videos of Omani’s childhood, heartfelt laughter and stolen glances rippled between you and Thrawn as you watched each video with a sense of comfort. There was currently one of Omani as a 7 year old, holding your device and walking around your apartment with a big smile on her face. You remembered this video well, it was for your 35th birthday and she surprised you that day by waking you up with a surprise. Her small giggles echoed from the speaker as she started jumping on your bed, and in a flash she was tackled to the mattress and you were blowing raspberry’s on her neck and cheeks, your hands tickling her sides which caused her to drop the camera at a perfect angle where the both of you were seen toppling over the bed and into the floor, you taking the impact of the landing and making sure she didn’t get hurt as you cradled her in your chest.

“You’re truly protective over her” Thrawn comments with a light tone, leaning on his elbow as he relaxed on his covers. He was still wearing his Admiral uniform, he was too curious to see what you were watching than to change first.

“She was so clumsy as a kid, I always had to watch out for her,” You smiled. “Scraping her knees was a constant” You commented, feeling your heart swell with sadness as you remembered how upset Omani got every time she tripped up and fell over. You and her were very similar, you fell over a lot as a kid - Thrawn could confirm - and one time you even face planted and left a small scar on your upper lip, one that isn’t even visible but if you pointed it out, someone would notice.

“I understand that, was she an active child?” Thrawn asked curiously. In reply you rolled your eyes and let out a chuckle.

“Active is an understatement, she was uncontrollable in some aspects. There were times she got stroppy though, if she didn’t get her way, and those were the times it was hard to be a parent,” You sighed. “She was a very fragile kid, if she didn’t get her way she would start getting angry and kicking her feet” You paused the video playing on your device, looking to Thrawn who was staring up at you from his position on the bed. He had his head tilted to the side very slightly, an eyebrow raised but not in an insisting manner.

“I think she gets that trait from you” You smirked, intending for the comment to be brushed aside but Thrawn huffed once he heard what you had said. “I admit I was a stroppy child, but I grew out of that phase quickly” Thrawn defended himself, leaning his head back on the mattress and moving his elbow away to cross his arms over his chest, looking up at the ceiling and immediately contradicting his words as he pursed his lips. You didn’t say anything, laughing instead and biting your tongue to make sure you didn’t say anything that would make him more agitated.

“Aside from that though, she grew up a lot quicker than I anticipated. One day, she’s this little bundle of joy in my arms, the next she’s a fully grown woman with her own blaster in her hands” You sighed in a mellow manner, hanging your head and doing your best not to let the facts upset you. Thrawn sat up from his position on the bed and hesitantly rested his hand on your shoulder.

“Childhood always slips by much quicker than everyone expects. Adding onto that, she’s a Chiss as well, and our childhood is shortened by 4 years compared to yours” Thrawn explains. You know about the Chiss ageing system, you’ve always known it, but something about Thrawn saying it made you calm down and come to terms with the fact that Omani was a different species compared to you, she was half human but her genes were dominated by Thrawn’s, there was no denying it. She aged the same as him, spoke the same as him and looked exactly like him, but her face structure and habits were all taken from you. That was about the only thing that made you two related. But either way, no matter how much she looked different compared to you, she was still your little girl.

Both you and Thrawn agree - and have spoke about a few times - is that Omani was unexpected in the best way possible. You certainly didn’t plan on being a mother for a long time, or ever. Thrawn wasn’t in a good position to be a father and if anything, you shouldn’t have been parents at all. But because of your escape, and because of your decision to have a child, you’ve grown into the best version of yourself that you could ever be. Omani’s brought out the goodness inside you, she made you forget about the person you used to be back in the Empire, back when you tortured and killed people unapologetically. She made you see things clearly, and because of that you were complete. You didn’t fear anything, not after giving birth and raising Omani up until she was 14. You hoped Thrawn felt the same.

“What time is it?” You asked, closing over your holodevice and setting it down on the bedside table before looking back to Thrawn with a tired gaze. He looked over at the alarm on his table and sighed.

“17:45, we should probably get ready for bed” Thrawn yawned, running his hand through his hair and immediately messing it up. He ruffled his navy strands, ruining the sleek gel look he always wore. You felt privileged to see it in all honesty, no one else saw him in this type of way apart from yourself. Well, back at the academy Eli saw him like this as well whenever you three sparred in the training rooms, but you didn’t have a problem with that.

Coming to think of it now, where was Eli?

You frowned as the thought came across your mind, and all of a sudden you couldn’t stop thinking about it. You had been so focused on building up a sturdy commonality with Thrawn once again that you didn’t even realise who else was missing. Eli.

“H-hey, quick question” You spoke up as Thrawn stood up to head to the refresher.

“Yes?” He raised a brow, his back turned to you as he took off his Admiral top, revealing his thin black vest that hugged his muscular form beneath.

“I meant to ask this sooner, but where’s Eli?” You felt nervous about asking, but you were eager to know.

Eli was such an important part of your time at the academy. Yes, Thrawn was very important to you back when you trained there but Eli was your best friend, through thick and thin. He was a human that spoke Cheunh ontop of that as well, and he became a massive part of your life back at the Empire. You didn’t see him much after you graduated because you had your own squad but there was the occasional time when the both of you caught each other at the cantina and stayed there, talking till you were both kicked out.

Thrawn stayed quiet for a while, his body going stiff but eventually he cleared his throat and let out a plain, emotionless sigh.

“He was transferred many years ago to another commanding officer” Thrawn’s voice was oddly upsetting, he seemed depressed by just talking about the issue, you ended up feeling bad about even asking about it.

“The Emperor felt that he was distracting me too much from my duties as Admiral, at the time, and Eli was transferred, I’ve never heard from him since” Was all Thrawn said before walking out of his bedroom and leaving you alone to bask in your thoughts and brainstorm his answer.

“The... Emperor?...” Your voice trailed off, hand reaching out but eventually coming back down as his words dawned on you.

The Emperor.

-

When Thrawn came back to his bedroom, you were in the kitchen preparing yourself a drink, an alcoholic one. Thrawn didn’t have many spirits in his cupboard, he mostly had Caf pods, milk, tea bags, and Dasani water. But you managed to find an expensive bottle of Spotchka at the back of the cupboard, hidden away for no one to find, but due to the glow of the blue neon beverage, you spotted it immediately. You poured yourself a small glass, making sure not to spill any considering it looked and smelled like it costed more than Thrawn cared to admit, but you didn’t pour too much in case he was saving it for a special occasion.

Putting the lid back on and screwing it tightly to make sure no spillage would occur, you turned around and leaned lazily on the kitchen counter, holding onto the half full whiskey glass. You carefully sipped at the blue liquid, the sharp taste hit your taste buds but you didn’t cringe or spit it out. Spotchka was a drink you weren’t very familiar with, you hardly ever drank considering you were Imperial in your younger years and done nothing but work, and then after that you were a mother, so there was no time to sit around and get drunk. You weren’t saying you’d never had a drink before, you did. You just never really got drunk.

“I see you’ve found the spotchka” Thrawn’s voice startled you, almost causing you to spill the drunk but thankfully it didn’t tip over the edge as you regained your posture.

“You need to stop sneaking up on me” You chuckled, placing your free hand on your chest and taking another sneaky sip of the Spotchka in your glass. Thrawn smiled, removing the wet towel which was hanging over his neck and bundling it up in his large hands. He was now in his lounge wear, black vest and joggers with wet hair and tired eyes. Even you couldn’t deny, the man looked like a kriffing god. He could do nothing and look absolutely incredible, even at his age of 47. You admit, you were jealous he even looked that good, you wish you looked the same as you did 14 years ago but motherhood wasn’t kind to you.

“I think I’ll join you” He said, walking up beside you and getting himself a glass of his own, opening up the bottle and pouring himself some Spotchka. Turning around and leaning on the counter to match your position, he raised his glass close to you. In return, you raised your own and clinked it softly with his, offering a small ‘cheers’ before sipping at the blue drink. Thrawn took a generous sip before clearing his throat and rolling his head around his shoulders, sighing in relief at the sound of popping as his tense muscles relaxed. You copied his actions with a smile, using the base of your palm to push your chin to the side and crack your neck.

The two of you shared a moment of blissful silence, happily drinking at your Spotchka as your shoulders touched. Neither of you moved away, occasionally sneaking glances at each other but not enough to make the moment awkward. Nothing was ever really awkward between you both, everything always happened naturally and nothing was ever forced.

“You know, I have a proposition for you, if you’d like to listen?” Thrawn spoke after Maker knows how long, swirling the remaining Spotchka in his almost empty whiskey glass as he turned his head to look at you. In return, you nodded whilst finishing off your own drink, hiking it back before placing the glass on the counter and looking up to Thrawn.

“There’s an event, tomorrow night at the Imperial Palace. Many people, including myself, will be going,” He started, crossing his ankle over the other as he finished off his drink and placed it next to yours.

“Many Senators and other parties will be attending- I- I was thinking maybe you might want to go with me as my... partner?” Thrawn sounded so nervous, you weren’t even sure it was him you were speaking to. You spent a few seconds thinking about it. An Imperial Party, with Senators and full of people You loathed. But ontop of that, you’d get to go with Thrawn and maybe make a statement about being a rebel and also being his partner for the night. But then again, you couldn’t be too sure that being a rebel would be your role at the party. If that were the case, an assassination would surely take place.

“It sounds good to me, but aren’t I your prisoner?” You raised a reading brow, nudging his side softly as he looked away and blushed very slightly.

“You were a prisoner when Pryce was in control of you, but with me you’re a guest,” Thrawn answered.

“I’d never see you imprisoned like that again, Rcati, seeing you like that in the prison cell made me angry but also scared” Thrawn was genuine with his words, but you could tell he was careful with the way he constructed his sentences. He was more than angry and scared, you knew it, he was just too hesitant to admit it. Either way, you didn’t force him to open up about anything and by the looks of it, he knew you knew he was holding back with his words.

“In that case, sure, but what happens when I meet people and they ask me my occupation? Haven’t I been missing for 14 years?” You chuckled dryly, still looking at Thrawn who sighed and turned to directly look at you.

“The people attending the ball aren’t part of the team on Lothal, so no one will know who you are apart from me, and Pryce if she’s going” Thrawn explained with a calm exterior, gesturing words with his hands and rubbing the back of his neck as he cleared his throat.

“Hmm... okay...” You hesitantly agreed. “But what about an outfit? I’m not too fond of showing up in an Imperial uniform” You frowned, fiddling with the hem of your shirt which belonged to the man standing beside you. He rolled his eyes and nodded his head, arms still folded as he blew a loose strand of hair away from his eyes.

“I’ll have a tailor come down and get your measurements now, we’ve got little time to get everything organised” His arms fell back down to his side as he sat up from the counter and walked out of the kitchen to fetch his coms device. Sighing, you took both of the empty whiskey glasses and cleaned them out, leaving them on the dryer as you let out a small yawn and left the kitchen to see where Thrawn had gone.

By the time the tailor had arrived, you had washed up in the refresher and had your hair up in a bundle as you stood in the middle of the room with barely anything on. Thankfully, Thrawn had his back turned to you, sitting in his chair and analysing work from days prior as you got measured for your dress. You were wearing nothing but a pair of briefs and a bra that Thrawn managed to get for you. The tailor was a woman in her mid 50’s, greying hair and very delicate fingers as she wrote down each of your measurements with intricate detail. You held in a gasp every time the cold sashe of tape wrapped around a part of your body, from your hips, to your arm, to your legs. She measured absolutely everywhere, but you didn’t say anything.

“So, what design are you looking for, my dear?” The tailor asked, you were almost startled by what she called you but then you remembered she didn’t know you were a prisoner.

“J-just a simple gown thank you, I’m not too fussed” You reply shakily, rubbing your upper arms at the cold as the tailor started sketching ideas on her notepad whilst switching her glance from the paper to your body shape. You felt very exposed, shivering in the cold as you done a little awkward tapping motion with your feet in an attempt to warm yourself up.

“I’ll work right on it, my dear, what’s your shoe size?” The tailor asked. “Oh, I’m a (S/S)” You replied with a smile, picking up the black T-shirt from the ground and slipping it back on.

“Is there anything else you request, Grand Admiral?” The tailor asked with a clear, confident voice. You shuffled in your spot and crossed your arms as Thrawn turned back around in his seat, looking prepared to cover his eyes in case you were undressed, but relaxing once he realised you were dressed again.

“That’s all, thank you” He dismissed the tailor with the wave of his hand and in a flash, she was out of the room without another word with her tape and scribbled notes.

“Well that was riveting” You joked, your teeth chattering as you tried warming yourself up. Thrawn closed his data pad and stood up from his seat, making his way over to stand at your side and smile.

“Is it always this cold here?” You complained, frowning slightly as you continued rubbing your arms and clenched your jaw unconsciously. Thrawn rolled his eyes instinctively at your comment, unexpectedly scooping you up in his arms and, without a word, carrying you to his bedroom and dunking you on the mattress. You didn’t say anything, too taken aback by his actions as you lay on his bed with a shocked expression. Thrawn hid a smirk as he looked at your face, placing the covers over you and patting your shoulder before exiting the bedroom.

“Aren’t you coming?” You yelled out to him with a confused frown. “I’ve still got work to finish!” He replied from the main office.

“But You finished work two hours ago?!” You yelled back, sitting up in his bed and cupping the sides of your mouth so your voice could project further.

“You keep forgetting I’m the person in charge of this facility, Rcati!” Thrawn said, this time a chuckle in his voice as he replied to your eager sounding question. Sighing at his answer, you lie back down on the mattress and close your eyes, eventually slipping into unconsciousness as the silence surrounded you.

Thrawn listened carefully from his office, his eyes looking at the open door even though he couldn’t see you. He heard soft snoring a few minutes after your loud exchange of words and he smiled to himself, pausing his work to admire you, and just you. He didn’t want to move from his spot in case you heard his footsteps, but he wanted to see your face.

Thrawn was in a dangerous position. Each and everyday you were with him, his feelings for you grew uncontrollably. Everything you did drowned him with undeniable affection and he knew that it wasn’t a good thing. Loving you came at a price, if someone from the Empire or New Republic found out about the way he felt towards you, his career and life would he on the line. It wasn’t that he prioritised his work over you and Omani, he was just scared in case either of you bit the dust undeservingly.

For the time being, he had to keep his distance.

-

It was the day of the party. After 11 hours of sleep, you woke up to find Thrawn packing clothes for the trip ahead. He didn’t have work today due to the party and the limited time both of you had to get to Coruscant on time.

“Are you sure this is appropriate for a woman my age?” You asked the tailor who suited you in a black dress. You couldn’t believe that she had made this dress in under 24 hours, it was so beautiful and elegant, but you felt like you were looking at another person as you stared at yourself in the body sized mirror in front of you.

“Nonsense, my dear, you are going to a ball after all” The tailor replied, tightening the thread on the corset that wrapped around your waist comfortably, but at the same time you felt very sucked in.

Thrawn was out of his chambers, fetching his medals to wear on his Admiral Uniform at the party to obviously show to others that he was important. The thought made you roll your eyes. Typical Thrawn.

The tailor sorted your hair out naturally, placing a black headpiece on your head and adjusting it until she was happy. You looked like a Senator, but you were comfortable with that. She fitted you with jewellery and two long, black gloves that reached your upper arm, as well as a pair of black heels.

You looked and felt different, this was different than all the other Senator outfits you wore throughout the past years, you no longer felt like a New Republic Senator. You looked like an Imperial, and you hated that. Your worse fear was for someone from the Rebellion to find yku looking like that, and also being with Thrawn. You’d be considered a traitor and no one would trust you anymore, that frightened you. This whole ordeal made you uneasy, you weren’t sure why you agreed to do it in the first place, maybe boredom? A need of new enviromnent? You couldn’t exactly remember.

You flattened the material of the dress skirt with your palms, avoiding the chance of your nails catching the material as you sighed at yourself in the mirror.

“Thank you for everything, this is truly beautiful” You thanked the tailor as she finished up on your dress, smiling at you through the reflection before taking a step back and bowing politely to you. You unconsciously done the same which earned you a large smile from the tailor who seemed impressed at your kindness towards her. No more words were exchanged as she took her belongings and had a stormtrooper escort her out of the room. The soldier clad in white armour looked at you for a brief second before clearing their throat and excusing themselves out of the room and the door sheathed shut.

You looked around Thrawn’s office, pulling the dress skirt up and trying not to trip over yourself as you walked over to his office table and pulled out one of the drawers. Your assumption of him keeping a blaster under his desk was confirmed and you didn’t hesitate for a moment as you hiked the skirt of your dress right up to your hip, with great difficulty, and tucked it into the stockings you were wearing. Once you were all set, you checked your appearance before Thrawn returned and escorted you to the ship which would be taking the two of you to Coruscant.

[zigtheeortega]

calm before the storm

✿ pairing: bryce x mc

✿ word count: 2.5k

✿ warnings: loss, death, funeral – angst.

✿ author’s note: i didn’t necessarily think that bryce was written ooc, but the whole post-funeral sequence was pretty weird to me. i’m someone who copes very similarly to bryce, so i could see myself reflected in him a lot. and i thought the s*x scene was very oddly placed so, here’s me warping canon again bc i’m dissatisfied! lmao hope u enjoy <3 also this fic is very close to me emotionally – i experienced two close deaths in april and june. 

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Since the moment his hands trembled amidst one of the most important surgeries of his life, Bryce was holding on by a thread.

With each half-assed joke he cracked, each wavering smile, each time he tried convincing others – including himself – that he was coping, he fell apart more and more.

The first night he went home after Spencer was quarantined, he trudged through the halls of Edenbrook, like he was dragging his legs through wet concrete. He was nearly magnetized to her bedside, not wanting to leave, but he needed to rest – he’d been awake for nearly a day and a half by the time he clocked out.

He blinked and he was back home. Couldn't remember how he got there. He was on autopilot and didn’t have a clue until he’d already wasted so much time. When night came, he couldn’t recall what he’d done that day.

The days between the diagnostics team finding a cure were torturous, the mere thought of not knowing what the future held – for the first time in his life – shaking him to his core.

He found himself paying close attention to Keiki. Each sarcastic quip, rude comment, or joke at his expense, he listened, soaking it up, no thoughts about the problem back in Hawaii. He whole-heartedly enjoyed her. Through one of the hardest times in his life, he was rekindling a relationship that never should’ve fallen apart.

The night he spent with Spencer, cuddled up next to her in his starchy hazmat suit, was the most daunting of them all. He was smiling and flirting with her, a little bit of his normal self shining through, but the crushing weight of his reality was distracting him.

This could be the last time that you see her smile.

God, he knew he had a killer smile of his own, but hers put the whole damn sun to shame. Her grin lit up her whole body, like every atom in her body was in it. And despite her sunken in eyes, her pale, sickly appearance, she still emitted those same infectious rays that he was eager to soak up.

This could be the last time that you hold her.

He curled himself around her, spooning her like he’d done a handful of times before. What he wouldn’t give to have a faceful of her hair again, the tropical scent so familiar to him that he couldn’t help but associate the scent of coconut with her.

This could be the last time that you feel her.

He stroked her face with a gloved hand, wishing for nothing more than to feel her smooth skin beneath his fingertips again. He pressed into her, hoping she could feel his warmth through the thin layer of fabric.

When her eyelids finally fluttered shut, overcome with exhaustion, his mind wandered to the possibility of it all being over.

And he couldn’t cope with that.

Thankfully, he didn’t have to.

When the treatment worked, and both she and Rafael were cured, it was the first time in months he’d experienced genuine joy. He didn’t know what higher power out there was looking out for him, but he silently thanked the universe for looking out for her. And for putting her in his life, and decidedly keeping her there.

The funeral was too much for him.

Seeing the two caskets, sealed tight, the endless arrangements of flowers, the sea of black clothing… it was overwhelming. Foreign. Like he was intruding on something so intimate that wasn’t meant for him to see.

And the sounds. He’d never forget it. Choked sobs from every angle, constant sniffling, a sporadic wail. The atmosphere made him antsy. His suit was itchy, his shoes were uncomfortable, and he was surrounded by grief.

Both Danny and Bobby meant a lot to Edenbrook, but it was nothing compared to what Spencer meant to him.

He must’ve slipped into auto-pilot (again), because before he knew it, the funeral was over, and he was outside of her apartment.

Wordlessly, he wrapped her in his arms, burying his face in her shoulder, the smell of her shampoo enough to bring him to tears. He was so fucking close to losing that forever. His free will to kiss her, to touch her, to hold her.

She invited him in, and every step to her room felt like each string that held him together was snapping, his sutures buckling under the weight he carried.

He was digging deep, trying to pull any kind of genuine quip from within him, to maybe – just maybe – convince Spencer he was okay.

But did he want to keep her in the dark?

Opening up was so fucking hard for him. Either he was a burden or he was let down by the people he confided in.

Trustworthiness was hard to come by, and Bryce knew that. That’s why Spencer was the first to know about Keiki, about his parents, about him. Not entirely, since he wasn’t ready for that just yet, but he was getting there.

It was a slow process, and he revered Spencer’s patience. Not once did she get upset with him for not sharing every detail.

And he almost fucking lost that.

His torturous inner monologue that he worked so hard to bury showed up when Keiki did. Guilt ate him alive, anxiety gnawed his insides, and regret feasted on whatever was left.

His mind was a hurricane, angry waves crashing painfully against his subconscious, the storm surge from his repeated trauma more than he could handle alone.

The one person he should’ve let in was almost taken from him, ripped from him like a surfboard after a wipeout.

He was drowning, and he flicked away the only hand that was outstretched for him.

And he almost fucking lost her.

The moment Spencer’s brows furrowed at whatever unconvincing mask he had plastered on his features, he broke.

His throat ached and flexed as he tried to choke back the tears, but he just… couldn’t.

Fuck, you’re so weak. He cursed at himself as the tears started flowing, warm streaks trailing down his bronzed skin, vision blurred like his head was under water. This isn’t about you.

The one time deflection was warranted, he broke down into a blubbering heap at her feet.

Like the angel she was, Spencer coaxed his body towards the bed, settling him against the down comforter before his legs buckled beneath him.

She gathered him in her arms, holding him exactly like he needed (like he wanted, but he didn’t want to admit it out loud).

She held him like he held her – like it was the last time.

The revelation tore him up inside, knowing she’d never take a second of their time together for granted again.

He pulled back, running a shaky hand through his hair, loose strands clinging to his damp forehead.

“I normally can hold it together better.” “You don’t have to do that around me, Bryce. You know that,” she encouraged, eyes still red-rimmed from the funeral.

“You’re the one that almost died, and I’m sitting here crying letting you comfort me,” he laughed through a sob, bouncing his leg on the ground nervously.

“You watched me almost die,” she whispered, squeezing his hand. “You’re allowed to be upset.”

His chin wobbled, and he rolled his lips to mask it. He took a shuddering breath, squeezing his eyes shut. “Spencer, I – have you ever…” He trailed off. Why was this so fucking hard?

“Have I been through this before?”

“Yeah,” was all he could manage.

She nodded. “Have you?”

“No.”

She nodded again.

“It’s making me think about my life… and the people in it. And things I could’ve done differently… better.”

“What do you mean?”

“When I saw you in that room, after the gas started affecting you, and your face… it –” he bit his lip to hold back a soft sob. “It got me thinking about everything that we didn’t do.”

“Bryce…” she laced her fingers in his, rubbing her thumb methodically over his skin.

“We’ve barely seen each other this year, Spencer. I got caught up with Keiki, and trying to figure shit out, and –” he searched her eyes, tears welling up again. “When I saw you in that room, nothing else mattered.”

“More than one thing can be important to you –”

“You’re important to me, Spence. You deserve better than what I’ve given you this year,” he shook his head, tears spilling over. “I can’t lose you.”

“You aren’t losing me, Bryce. I’m right here,” she practically cooed, trying her best to soothe him.

“I shouldn’t be the one being comforted right now. Please,” he whispered.

She pulled back, scooting backward onto the bed to cross her legs, as he stood up, pacing.

“It’s like I’m fucking up left and right with the people who matter to me,” he fisted his pockets, avoiding her eyes as he strode across the room.

“You of all people should know that you can’t take the blame for things that are out of your control,” she murmured softly, tugging at a loose string at the hem of her dress.

“I know I can’t control it and that’s why it makes me want to tear my fucking hair out,” he said through gritted teeth, biting back tears. He didn’t want to cry anymore, but his body had other ideas.

“Bryce, you couldn’t have stopped a bursting gas canister. Nobody could’ve stopped it.”

“That’s not what I’m frustrated over. I’m… I don’t know how to say it without sounding like a dick and making this about me. There’s a lot going through my head right now,” he laughed humorlessly, stopping in the middle of the room directly across from the bed.

“Talk it out with me. I’ve got time,” she smiled encouragingly, folding her hands in her laps politely, like the angel she was.

God, sometimes he was thankful for his parent’s demonic behavior, because if not for the bad karma the Lahela’s accumulated, there’s no way in hell the universe would’ve balanced itself out by placing an angel like her in his path.

“On the one hand I’m angry at myself for not spending time with you like I should’ve,” he chewed his lip for a second, trying to gather his thoughts, before speaking again slowly. “I could’ve lost you and I was more worried about keeping secrets from everyone and dealing with shit on my own, you know? Which I never should’ve done.”

“But you didn’t and still don’t have to tell me anything. You’re allowed to have boundaries,” she interjected calmly.

“But maybe… maybe I don’t want that anymore,” he shrugged out of his tux jacket, draping it over the back of her desk chair as he spoke. “You still barely know Keiki. I barely know Keiki. And I holed myself up when you were waiting there with open arms. I don’t know. Maybe I just didn’t want to burden anybody? I don’t know.” He repeated, downplaying his own self–realization.

“And I’m frustrated because I don’t… know how to deal with this,” he gestured around the room, then to himself. “How to wrap my brain around all of it. This was the first time I lost anybody like this.”

“I wasn’t even super close to Danny and Bobby,” he continued, shoving his hands in his pockets to calm his shaking hands.

“Losing people is always hard. Doesn’t matter how close or distant you are to somebody,” she said, trying to hold his eyes, but he could barely look at her.

He’d never opened up like this before. He was so vulnerable… so exposed, and he was afraid. Afraid she’d run away. That she’d bolt the second he plopped his thick suitcases filled to the brim, nearly bursting with emotional baggage from the past two decades.

“I’m sad about losing them, definitely, and going to a funeral for the first time in my life really fucked with my head but… fuck, I’m gonna sound like such an asshole,” he willed himself to look up from his shoes, staring intently at her. “None of that even comes close to what I felt when I thought I’d lost you.”

“Kyra was hanging on by a thread while I thought you were –” he choked, pressing his lips in a firm line to stop his sobs, which escaped through his nose in short breaths instead.

“I’ve never felt pressure like that. And my life has been nothing but pressure.” The words were freely flowing from him, like a dam held together by a few twigs, snapping to release a flood that neither of them anticipated.

“You had to run towards your problems, not away from them,” she whispered, like she wasn’t sure if he’d agree. But the moment the words left her lips, it was like the puzzle pieces fell into place for him.

Maui should’ve been his safe haven, but from the moment his parents were exposed in every form of news throughout Hawaii, he was itching to leave. The island fever settled into his bones and never left. It was an ever present anxiety he struggled with despite finding a home in Boston, Edenbrook, and Spencer.

When shit went down back home, he ran. When people found out who he was states away from the fallout, he ran. It was predictable, methodical, like an appendectomy. The same muscle memory that sliced skin and fastened sutures with delicate precision pumped his legs until he was as far away from his problems as he could get.

“Everytime I lost somebody, it was because I chose to. This time it was like something was being ripped away from me, and I couldn’t handle it,” Bryce said, a profound statement that caused a pained whimper to escape his lips.

“Bry…” She breathed, scooting to the edge of the bed, gently tugging at his shirt sleeve to pull him down to sit on the comforter.

“You don’t have to have all the answers right now, alright? And you don’t have to carry all of this alone. I’m here. You’ve got all of us,” she said, motioning towards the walls of the apartment. “Sometimes just letting it out can take the weight off your shoulders. And you’ve got a heavy load, Bryce.”

She rubbed soothing circles on his back, leaning over to kiss his cheek. “I’m not leaving you.”

He held her eye, doe-eyed gaze piercing – Spencer could see right through him, and god did he love feeling seen.

There was nothing he could say to thank her properly for putting aside her feelings to listen to him for a few minutes. Those few minutes where he unleashed a small portion of the shit he’d been building up for years.

So instead he did what he’d been craving since the moment he saw her behind the glass.

He pulled her into a frenzied kiss, pouring every part of himself into the embrace, wrapping him in her arms like she belonged there, as if he was saying “I’m not leaving you, either. You’re safe now.”

––––

taglist: @pixeljazzy ; @raleiighcarrera ; @senatorraines ; @felix-hauville ; @violinet ; @empressazura ; @serafinedupont ; @messofakind ; @altairadtaz ; @hudush ; @solarbridge ; @adriansbiss ; @bellarxse ; @havennly ; @writinghereandthere ; @levineseth ; @lahellacute ; @michellesnguyen ; @kelseaaa ; @natesewels ; @lucas-koh ; @rainesenator ; @montjoy ; @bryceslahela ; @crestfallenpixie ; @dudebro-lahela ; @ezekielbhandarivalleros ; @lgbtiangley ; @part-of-the-circus ; @nazariolahela ; @hazel-nguyen ; @la-huerta ; @adamdusmortain ; @thepotatobleh ; @distinguishedsaladoperawinner ; @bobbymckenzie ; @catsomi ; @neptunesascendant ; @pixelsandkink

[if i missed you, i wasn’t able to tag your url! i tagged anybody who interacted w the post so if you want to be removed please let me know]

[highladyluck]

For the fic title meme: Lay Down Your Crown and Sword

So, I was thinking maybe this is about Aviendha's feelings about Rand when they're in the Aiel Waste... just kidding, I know what the people want from me.

Wheel of Time, Mat/Tuon, post-canon, ANGST. This is one take on a scenario where Mat attempts to achieve his stated relationship goal, which is convincing Tuon to abdicate and run away with him.

(This sucker is LONG and SPOILERY so I’m putting it under a cut.)

It's ~2 months after the Last Battle. There's growing danger to Tuon- an almost-successful assassination attempt (my money's on Moghedien) that scares Mat, Selucia, the Deathwatch, and maybe even Tuon herself, just a little. The sul'dam secret is leaking out and emboldening the faction that wants to kill her, there's worry it'll lead to local rebellion, plus there's still the Seanchan homeland power struggle. Mat uses all this to convince Tuon that she needs to lie low for a while. His idea is for her to fake her own death, install a puppet successor secretly loyal to her, and go hide out with him in a place no one will be able to find them for a few months.

She's not thrilled about it initially, but it's not like she hasn't faked her own death before (love that about her!) so she agrees to Mat's plan, which is 'hang out in a Portal Stone alternate timeline'. (Mat would not come up with this on his own, Mat does not like Portal Stones, but Min suggested it and he eventually agreed it would suit their needs.) Tuon would prefer something where she could keep an eye on political conditions more easily, but she feels safe with Mat & appreciates that this is definitely a secure option, and she's been out of contact with home base before for a while and been fine. Selucia stays in the palace, to keep an eye on things and do intrigue (and also give Mat and Tuon actual alone time- I am entertained by the grudging truce between Mat and Selucia, but her chaperone services are not needed this time around.)

They've got an official pickup scheduled in a few months, about a month before Tuon's due; Mat thought about waiting more time to go back but he'd rather have the option to call in trusted medical help for the birth and he wants to leave a wide margin of error for the actual due date. He intends to rope in Nyneave if it seems necessary, although he doubts he'll be lucky enough that Nyneave would help Tuon out of the goodness of her heart or even as a favor to him. More likely Nyneave's help would cost Tuon in political concessions, which he will have to either convince Tuon to accept- assuming she's in a position to make that kind of choice- or negotiate on her behalf, if she's in too much immediate danger. Either scenario keeps him up at night, but the alternative is worse. Also, he hasn't run this contingency plan by Tuon yet- likely because he isn't totally against the idea of extracting political concessions from Tuon, so there's guilt as well as fear of how she'd react. The other thing Tuon doesn't realize about this vacation plan is that Mat is hoping to convince her to move there forever- if it's nice- or at least to keep faking her death and start a new life with him somewhere in disguise in their reality.

The Portal Stone world is one that's relatively close to their world, so it has people and feels fairly familiar, but the apocalypse hasn't happened yet and doesn't appear to be doing so in the near future. (For fun let's say the obvious divergence is Damodred-related; maybe the non-asshole Damodred branch is in charge, so you don't get Laman's Sin and/or Tigrane is actually happy in her political marriage, so the Dragon hasn't been reborn yet.) Tuon's ok with the 'vacation' vibe at first, we get some cute romantic bonding moments between her and Mat as they do normal people things, they have some cute dates in taverns or whatever. But Tuon becomes increasingly bored and anxious and frustrated about not being able to keep tabs on what's happening- probably some residual trauma from the last time she went AWOL with Mat, and came back to find her homeland in shambles and her family dead. So that's a source of conflict, especially since she doesn't actually confide that in Mat. She also keeps wanting to hash out political/military plans for when they get back, but Mat keeps trying to distract her, or makes arguments she doesn't like (re: Seanchan policy reform). Maybe Mat brings up the Nyneave contingency plan because he got worried about her health, and Tuon's like 'uh how long have you been sitting on this idea, when the fuck were you going to run it past me, the person it most concerns?'

Their relationship has always had an element of conflict in it, but back then they were strangers, had rules of engagement constraining them, and a kind of shared purpose. Their conflict was a kind of game that they played together, and it drew them closer. Now they know how to get under each other's skin and aren't constrained by witnesses or promises, and they have a shared mission (keeping Tuon safe) but don't agree on who is in charge of it. What's holding them together still is their own compassion and affection for each other, but they're not great at communicating it with words and now they're using words as weapons sometimes, so most of the reconciling is with gestures/gifts/actions. In general, things are tense and there's not much going on outside of their own interactions to distract them; Tuon's temper is flaring, she's feeling powerless and like her personal integrity is being attacked sometimes; Mat's being propelled around by his gut reactions and he's scared of losing her (and the baby), in any number of ways, and mad that she doesn't want what he thinks is best.

Finally the scheduled transit date arrives and they pop back to their original universe and get caught up on the news (maybe from Min?) Over in Seanchan, possibly emboldened by news of Tuon's 'death', a warlord has consolidated most of the warring factions. Now they know who to go after, and a war in Seanchan would help unify the Seanchan in the westlands; the Seanchan military-industrial complex loves a good patriotic war. Things domestically are a little better than before they left. Selucia flushed out the network from the earlier assassination attempt and is generally keeping things running and the puppet ruler honest.

Tuon's relieved; she was really worried that everything was going to fall apart when she was gone and now she's kind of grateful for the break. She tries to tell Mat this without actually admitting that she's got trauma around it, because the Empress doesn't admit weakness and Tuon the person is extremely bad at talking about feelings anyway; she's like "Ah, that's much better news than I came back to last time you kidnapped me. I'm glad to be back to work again, let's get to it." Mat's irritable, not catching on that she was actually really worried about it based on her previous experience, and thinking she didn't appreciate the break, and also worried that his plans to convince her to leave with him aren't going to work. Tuon catches that he's cagey and unhappy and not getting her jokes, and she remembers that this was what he seemed like when she first saw him in the Tarasin Palace. Mat argues that they should at least wait until the baby comes, that the person she put in charge is doing well, they can certainly let them rule a while longer. He says he's not sure it's the right time to attack Seanchan, he'd need to check the troops out, sniff out local sentiment. He's not decisive or commanding or focused when he says these things- it's stalling, it's bravado covering panic. It dawns on her- oh shit, he's gonna run.

Tuon's spooked. She KNOWS Mat now, but that doesn't mean she knows what to do to hang on to him. She doesn't know how to deal with a loss of control in her personal life, so she turns to what she knows she can control- the empire, her role, her property. She takes refuge in past promises. She tells him they will discuss the disposition of the army and the prosecution of the war in Seanchan once her heir is born and she's officially 'off the hook'. Mat looks grim.

Tuon wanted to announce that she's back immediately, but she starts having contractions and Mat's like 'you are absolutely not going to return from the dead right this second, you're super vulnerable right now.' They stay in a relatively secret spot in Tuon's territory with a small coterie of loyal retainers until the baby is born; it goes fine. There is one (1) cute bonding moment between Tuon and the baby and Mat; then the baby vanishes. Mat was on guard along with the usual people you'd expect to be on guard (not Karede, Selucia, or Min though). Tuon FUCKING KNOWS Mat did it with Aes Sedai help, she's initially furious and betrayed, but Mat isn't admitting it and within the extremely tight circle of people who know about the vanished baby, he's doing a reasonably convincing job looking as freaked out and upset as everyone else, and she's still hoping she can resolve this privately without any drastic public actions.

She takes Mat to a private place and she tells him that she has always, always been able to trust him. She trusts him so much it terrifies her. She does not know if this is what love is, but it is what she feels for him. She asks him to honor that, to honor himself, and not to lie to her. She then asks him why he kidnapped their child. Mat staggers, and blurts out that he can't bear the thought of their children constantly at risk of assassination, from strangers or their own siblings. He has nightmares about their child beginning to channel, or being able to learn, and what that means for them in the Empire. Tuon's made her choice and he'll respect that, though he hates the risks to her, and what the Empire does to her and others. But their child deserves the choice Tuon didn't have. He loves Tuon, but he cannot love the Empire, and he will not fight in the Empire's wars, and he will not let the Empire own his children, whether that's as royalty, sul'dam, or damane. He says he trusts she'll come to the right decision about what to do with this information.

The next scene has Tuon in mourning white. It's neither Tuon's nor Mat's POV- probably Karede, or maybe Min. In front of the whole court Tuon, as Empress back from the dead, bestows the Bloodknives ring and blessing on Knotai, and orders him to take a few members of the Deathwatch (the ones on watch the night the baby vanished, our observer notes) and assassinate the warlord in Seanchan on her behalf. She says she trusts he will succeed. They stare inscrutably at each other. The court is shocked into silence at first, but the whispers rise behind Mat as he straightens from his extraordinarily polite leg and heads out of the chamber. It is left up to the reader to decide if this is an elaborate plan to fake Mat's death and set him free, or his execution.

--- You may notice this is suspiciously fleshed out for a prompt I received this afternoon. XD I've been kicking around some of this premise for a while, though this ask made me finally come up with the circumstances that get Tuon to actually agree to temporarily leave her job, as well as most of the details. The main emotional beats came from stringing together several Mountain Goats songs, because of course it did. The whole sequence is Twin Human Highway Flares, Riches and Wonders (Eliza Rickman cover), Alpha Incipiens, Fault Lines, New Britain, Family Happiness. I’m not sure if I’ll actually turn this into a finished story with description and dialogue and everything, but it’s possible. This is also not the only Mat/Tuon post-canon idea I have kicking around! It’s not my ideal scenario for them for sure, but it’s a lot easier to write a ‘bad ending’ for them than to work on my ‘good ending’, because I have a lot more emotional investment in the ‘good ending’... perfectionist problems. :/

[fallenfurther]

A break in the clouds - Part 3

It’s Gordon’s turn with Scott’s son. Other chapters: Scott, Virgil

*******

Gordon

His nephew's hug weakened the walls holding Gordon together. It had hurt having to put the images of the lost to the side so he could concentrate on the living, the ones he could save. He had plastered on a smile, made jokes when distraction was needed, held the broken crying child close as he turned his back on the mother he couldn't save. Gordon squeezed his nephew tighter, knowing it would cause a complaint from the boy, but he needed that closeness. The warmth from that little body was comfort alone.

It didn't take long for the boy to start wriggling. Giving his nephew one last squeeze, Gordon loosened his grip, so his hands ended up on the boy's shoulders. Their eyes locked just before Gordon bent his knees and tilted his nephew back, so he was upside down. The boy's hair dangled freely as his back rested against Gordon's thighs. A squeal of delight filled the changing room.

"I'd rather he didn't throw up, Gordon."

Gordon left Scott's son hanging as he glanced up at his towel-wrapped brother. The small smile on Scott's face deepened the dimple facing Gordon.

"Like I'd make that happen."

With one smooth motion, Gordon pulled the red-faced boy back up the right way. The grin that shone back highlighted his nephew's own dimples.

"How about we head upstairs and see the fishes?"

"Fishies!"

A small hand shot into the air with an energy none of the adults had. Scott shook his head as he crossed the room to sit next to Virgil. Gordon knew they needed some time. A few minutes to talk through what they'd seen, to allow each of them someone to open up to. Virgil and Gordon often shared words on the way home, it was the benefit of flying in Thunderbird Two, however today they had both sat in silence. Each trying to process their own traumas. Virgil could share things with Scott that he couldn't with anyone else.

"Be good you two."

"We're always good, aren't we?"

His nephew had slipped down his body so he could stand on his own feet. Gordon's shorts were clenched in the boy's fist as his nephew watched his father. There was no smile on his face, obviously starting to pick up on the atmosphere of the room. Those blue eyes met his, a hint of confusion flickering across them.

"No."

A cheeky grin crossed that small face as Gordon feigned surprise.

"What?! Don't say that with your Dad in the room! Come on, let's go before you get me into trouble."

There was a giggle from the boy as he started towards the door. Gordon strode after him leisurely. Little hands reached up and grasped the handle, but the heavy door stayed closed despite the boy putting all his effort into it. Carefully, Gordon pulled the handle, leaving space for his nephew to move around and out. The boy didn't run off, instead he waited with hand outstretched. Gordon took it, glad that Scott had set rules in place, and they walked towards the elevator. His nephew knew it was a privilege to see the Thunderbirds and misbehaving down in the depths of the island resulted in the strictest punishment.

These rules didn't apply in the villa and the moment the elevator doors opened Gordon's hand was released. Off he went as fast as his little legs could carry him until he got to the end of the corridor where he stopped. Glancing back with the biggest grin, which slowly shrank when he realised Gordon hadn't moved. Gordon grinned then gave chase. Blue eyes widened and an excited shriek resounded off the walls as the boy ran off again. Gordon rounded the corner. Natural light flooded in from the glass ceiling above as he slowed his pace.

The boy was right below the fish tank, reaching up on tiptoes, fingers barely touching the glass. Stepping up behind his nephew, Gordon wrapped his arms around the boy and lifted him up to the glass. It was second nature now, to twist the small body so it was balanced on his hip.

"Fishies!"

The fish in the tank weren't real, they couldn't be as the tank was part of his secret elevator so plummeted with him. The fish were a new addition though, courtesy of Brains. The engineer had started adding robotic fish after he'd walked past Scott trying to explain to an upset toddler that there were none in there. Now there were eleven fish and two crabs, which had a hidden induction charger, so they never stopped moving.

A small hand rested against the glass, just to the side of the palm sensor Gordon used to activate the elevator. Not that his nephew could activate it, but Gordon had thought of taking him down there before. He could deactivate the arms so it wouldn't suit him up, and they didn't have to plunge into Thunderbird Four's pool. However, Scott would skin him for sure and Gordon didn't want to lose out on any uncle time.

"Nemo!"

A finger pointed to the small clownfish which had just swum up from behind a pink coral.

"Hello Nemo!"

Gordon could see the excitement in the reflection of his nephew's face. Of course, Gordon had shown the boy as many ocean related movies as possible, including the classics like Finding Nemo and The Little Mermaid. They would probably all settle down later to watch a film as a family. An almost complete family. Gordon had no idea if his nephew had asked Scott why he had a great grandma but no Grandma. Gordon didn’t want to be the one to bring it up. The boy just accepted that this was his family, and it was complete. There was no one missing for him.

"Look. Flounder and Dory friends!"

Indeed, the little versions of the famous fish had just avoided each other and started swimming side by side, as if they were friends. Gordon shifted his nephew higher so he could get a better view. The fish parted company and continued to dart around the artificial coral reef, just as they did out in the real ocean. Small hands continued to cover the glass in fingerprints as they searched out all the creatures that they knew were in there. A tear escaped from Gordon's eye. He blinked it away, only for another to replace it. Maybe it was Gordon's silence that made the boy twist his head to him, or maybe he felt the tears that were hitting his t-shirt. Those blue eyes were sad.

"Those tears?"

Gordon nodded, fearing his voice would crack if he spoke. Again, his nephew threw his arms around the Gordon's neck and the tears came faster. So many families were missing people today, and there were probably those still unsure if their missing relative was in the hospital or among the dead. He may have been young, but he still had memories from that time, still remembered what it was like to lose someone. He knew what it was like to grow up with an empty seat at the table and a parent sized hole. A sob rocked his body. He hoped his nephew would never feel that pain.

After a few minutes, Scott's son leant back in his arms and placed his small hands against Gordon's cheeks. Soft fingers tried to wipe away his tears.

"All sad?"

"Yes, buddy. Everyone's sad today."

A lost look came over the boy, like he didn't know what to do. Gordon took a deep breath to steady himself.

"It's okay to be sad sometimes."

The boy nodded his head, still thinking about something. He turned to the fish tank and pointed.

"You miss Singway?"

"Sting-ray."

"Singway."

Gordon gave up, knowing the boy would eventually learn to say it right.

"Sometimes, but I'm happier here, where I can pilot Thunderbird Four."

A hand is waved at the tank, where Stingray dipped as it turned around a coral.

"No Four."

This brought a small smile to Gordon's face.

"That tank doesn't need Thunderbird Four. Not when the real one is hidden beneath it."

Gordon whispered the secret in the boy's ear knowing it would tickle him and cause him to giggle. It didn't matter that his face was cover in tears, Gordon wanted the boy to be happy. Footsteps came from behind him making Gordon turn.

"Grammie!"

"How about you come help me in the kitchen, young man?"

Gordon released his nephew, who ran over and hugged Grandma's legs. Her hand stroked his brown locks as she placed her other hand on his shoulder. She guided him into a hug.

"You'd better go join your brothers on the couch ready for debrief."

"Yes, Grandma."

Gordon turned, wiping his face on his arm as he went. He knew his brothers would know he'd been crying, but he was sure more tears would be shed later anyway. As much as they all tried to be strong, sometimes it was better to cry during the debrief, as they said what has to be said.

[srhlsx]

master | chapter 8 | CHAPTER 9 | chapter 10

As you walked up to the hotel entrance you saw the waiting figure of Iwaizumi’s fiancé, her face covered with a pair of sunglasses as she looked down at her phone. Hearing you call out, she immediately tucked the device away and smiled brightly at you and waved with enthusiasm.

“Ah, I’m so excited for some girl time!” She sighed, falling into step with you as you both made your way down the busy main street. “For the longest time I didn’t have anyone, then Hajime and Tooru came along, but they are so obsessed with one another.”

She continued to ramble on as you both walked, you added a few comments here and there but otherwise it was fun to hear about a different side of Oikawa than you previously thought you knew. 

“Hajime acts like Tooru is a big pain, but he'd be totally lost without him.” She rolled her eyes dramatically as the two of you entered a shop in the market park square. 

You looked at her with your head slightly tilted, “How so? He seems like more so the rock in that dynamic.”

“Oh he definitely is, don’t get me wrong.” She waved her hands in front of her as if clearing the air. “Take us being in California, for example? Hajime never would’ve applied to the program if it weren’t for Tooru.”

“Really?” You toyed with the hem of a random dress as she continued on, leaning against the rack of clothes you were looking at. 

“Oh yes, see our school year doesn’t match up with America so originally we were both going to go to the local university.” She began, getting a little more animated with her hand gestures as she talked. “But when Tooru told us that he was going overseas to chase his dreams, that got Hajime thinking. Eventually we both decided to say fuck it, and now years later he’s finishing up his master’s so the two of them can ‘go back home and kick some ass’ or however he said it.”

Her laughter distracted you for a moment until you registered the words that had been said. You didn’t think much of it and laughed along with her and continued on your shopping. 

“It seems like the three of you were really close?” You said some time later as you sat down for a bite to eat. 

She choked a little bit on her food before speaking. “For sure, the boys were inseparable growing up,” she said. “But Gods no, I didn’t get to be a part of that until our last year of high school.”

“That’s when you and Haji- Iwaizumi started dating right?” You tried recalling some of the stories Oikawa had told you about his friends. 

“Mhm!” She nodded her head as she chewed her mouthful of food. “Thanks to Tooru. Has he ever told you about the big scheme he cooked up that year?”

You shook your head no and soon the words were spewing out of her mouth. She told you about this wild proposition that Oikawa had come to her with, how they managed to convince their entire school they were dating - all so Oikawa could focus everything on volleyball. She then started to tell you about how things with Iwaizumi started happening, at this point you were leaning forward to listen to her like every word she spoke had you on bated breath. She explained how Oikawa figures things out, how he had been selfless enough to not care about volleyball distractions anymore because he could see how his two friends were miserable and eventually he pushed them together. 

The way she spoke about Oikawa cast him in an almost heavenly light. She talked about how even years later he still gave up things for them and how she really owed him more than he probably knew. You could feel a warm sensation bubbling in your chest as you learned more and more about the type of person Oikawa was. You had had an idea, of course, having gone through your own emotional trauma that he helped you with - but to hear it from a third party really hit you like a brick wall. 

“Anyways,” she waved her hand around again. “I’m just glad to see him happy. You two seem like you’re really good for each other.”

“Oh,” You jolted a little bit at the compliment, feeling your cheeks grow a little warm. “It’s so new, we-“

“I can still tell,” she smiled. “I was worried for a while that he might be running away from his problems, but I’m not so much anymore.”

-

That night happened to be the birthday celebration of one of the guys on the team. Everyone was excited for an excuse to go out and party, Oikawa being no exception. The bar was divey and dark, but had a group of live musicians who knew every song under the sun - which is how you found yourself and Iwaizumi’s fiancé being twirled mercilessly around the dance floor by Oikawa’s teammates. 

Your head fell back in cheerful laughter, the atmosphere and mix of a few drinks making you much more carefree around the group of men than you normally would be. From a distance, posted up against the bar, Oikawa watched you with a spark in his eye that Iwaizumi hadn’t really seen in quite some time. 

Stumbling away from the dance floor with an ache in your feet, you felt an arm wrap around your shoulders and pull you close. Iwaizumi’s fiancé was laughing breathlessly, making a joke that made your eyes widen and your own laughter escape. Oikawa and Iwaizumi watched the two of you, mischief clearly evident in your gazes as they flickered back and forth between the two men. You laughed into your hand and nodded, eyes catching the brown ones of Oikawa only briefly before huddling away again. 

“They’re up to something,” Iwaizumi growled, eyes narrowing over the bottle of beer he was drinking from. 

“Oh lighten up,” Oikawa laughed, slapping his friend on the back. “They’re just having a good time.”

Iwaizumi shook his head, setting his drink down but never looking away from you and his fiancé. “No,” he said. “I know that look, she’s cooking up an idea.”

You broke apart from the group, slipping away through the crowd to slide up to the bar unnoticed while Iwaizumi’s fiancé returned to the two skeptical boys. “Having fun?” Oikawa asked. 

“I certainly am!” Iwaizumi’s fiancé grinned at her long time friend. “San Juan is awesome and (y/n) is just-“ she dramatically blew a chef’s kiss into the air. “- so great.”

“Yeah, not sure how you managed it,” Iwaizumi teased, causing Oikawa to become flustered. 

Not a moment later you slithered your way between Oikawa and Iwaizumi from behind, holding four small glasses of alcohol precariously in your grasp. Both boys’ eyes widened in a look of almost fear as Iwaizumi’s fiancé clapped her hands happily and reached for two of the glasses - handing one to Iwaizumi. You handed the last one to Oikawa, quirking your eyebrow with a smirk as he shook his head at you. 

“I leave you two alone together for a few minutes…” He grumbled, although you could tell he was anything but upset about what was going on. “What are we cheersing to?”

“To new friends!” You beamed towards the group, lifting your glass towards the center. 

“To (Y/n) having to put up with Shittykawa,” Iwaizumi added. 

“To being reunited back home again!” Iwaizumi’s fiancé finished off the cheer, clinking her glass against everyone else’s. 

It was the second time that you had heard her mentioning that - home. Japan.

You tried not to falter too much, tilting your head back and allowing the alcohol to slide down your throat with practiced ease. Wiping your mouth with the back of your hand, you coughed lightly before turning to Oikawa with the best grin you could muster. 

You hoped it didn’t show that something was in fact bothering you. The slight dimming of the spark in your eyes. How the smile from your laughter didn’t stretch your face as genuinely as it normally would. However, after months of getting to know you inside and out, in the most intimate ways, Oikawa saw it. 

Of course he saw it. 

So later that night, as Iwaizumi and his fiancé waited down on the street and Oikawa walked you to your door, he brought it up. 

“Look, about the whole reuniting back home thing…” He looked uncertain, one hand reaching up to rest at the back of his neck while his other hand braced his weight against your doorframe. 

You paused unlocking your door for just a moment, a fraction of a breath, before continuing and getting your door open. Turning around with what you are sure looked like an impressively fake grin, you looked up at him. “Don’t even worry, Tooru.” You waved a hand around dismissing his concern. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

Oikawa looked like he wanted to say something more, the words catching on the top of his tongue but losing their momentum when it came time to be heard. Instead he let out a sigh, reaching to cup the side of your face delicately and brush his thumb across the top of your cheek. You leaned into the touch, letting out an involuntary hum of satisfaction at the simple gesture. 

With a soft kiss on your lips and his forehead pressed against yours, Oikawa bid you goodnight and left to join his friends downstairs. You locked your door behind you, leaning against it for a moment, thinking in the silence of your home. 

How were you going to bear losing someone you loved - again?

TAGS: @akasuns​ @edensxgarden​ @carefreeloner​ @mush-boom​ @angrylittlezizi​ @lovedanii​ @oliolitumbler​

[wemayhavestartedthefiresorry]

“Six or Seven what? Beers? Shots? Gallons?”

pairing: reader x tony stark 

summary: Peter brings you to Tony’s house after a frat party. You’ve been drinking a lot and you drunkenly confess your crush on Tony. (AU where Tony is still alive after the snap and Pepper isn’t in the picture lmao.)

warnings: age gap, PTSD from the snap, mentions of alcoholism, angst, fluff, angry Tony, drunk reader

note: This one shot doesn’t really fit into the series in cannon. Reader is assumed to have helped the avengers with Thanos. I’m LIVING for angry Tony >:) I’m not a fan of Pepper Potts so lmao shes gone BYE

Tony sat in his workshop working on something that you had no chance at understanding. Especially since you were blackout drunk. Peter held your arm as the both of you walked down the steps. His music was loud but Tony often had it that way. So he didn’t notice as you stumbled down the stairs. 

“Mr. Stark?” Peter tried to speak over the music but with no luck. Tony was facing the other way. You looked at him in your drunken stupor, he was terrified. “Mr. Stark?!” He yelled again, but to no avail. You couldn’t help but giggle. You wiggled yourself loose from Peter’s gentle grip and ran over to Tony. He was working on something that looked small, maybe a microchip or something smart. You carelessly wrapped your arms around him, giving him a back hug and effectively scaring the shit out of him. He looked over his shoulder with his eyebrows furled. 

“FRIDAY, pause my playlist.” He called out. The music ceased almost instantly. 

“Hi Tony!” you smiled widely, still hugging him. 

“Who let you in here? Was it FRIDAY?” He looked at you, then Peter. “If you haven’t noticed, I have a strict ‘no children’ policy in my workshop.” 

“I know, I’m sorry Mr. Stark. It’s just-” 

“I’m not a child! I’m twenty three and 4 months old!” You blurted out. “Maybe you’re just older than dirt- no, older than dinosaur bones.” You laughed at your own joke, no one else did...

“You’re two hundred and eighty months old, you’re essentially an infant. Are you going to get off of me anytime soon?” Tony said. 

Peter began to ramble. “We went to a party at a frat house and (Y/N) was doing shots and I was trying to get her to stop but she kept going and I didn’t know what to do and I can’t remember where she lives and she wouldn’t tell me because she didn’t want to leave the party and then she kept saying she just wanted to see you so I brought her here and I’m really sorry Mr. Stark-”

“Were you drinking too?” He interrupted.

“No, I wasn’t. I swear Mr. Stark I didn’t even look at any of the alcohol-” 

“It’s okay, kid. I believe you. But you better keep it that way or I'm taking the suit.”

“No, sir. I mean- yes, sir.” 

“How did you get here?”

“I took an uber.”

“FRIDAY, get the kid a ride back home.” Tony called out.

“Yes, sir.” FRIDAY responded. “A car will be out front for Mr. Parker.” 

“It’s Friday Friday, gotta get down on Friday-” You began to sing off key. 

“Thank you Mr. Stark.” Peter said. 

“Yeah, we’ll talk more about this tomorrow...” He trailed off, looking down at the leech  attached to him. Peter made his way back up the stairs to catch his ride. Tony was so warm, you didn’t want to let go. Usually you’re reserved in the way you act in front of your crushes but you were too drunk to care. 

“So are you going to let go or am I your new life source now?” He asked. You peered up at him with a goofy smile but you got the hint and decided to let go. He turned around to face you. “My god,” He sniffed the air. “You smell like a distillery, and that means a lot coming from me. I literally own a distillery.” 

“That’s weird,” You cocked your head to the side, “I haven’t been to a distillery.” you slurred. But something across the room caught your attention; the bar. You walked towards it to make another drink. Tony caught on to your plan quickly.

“Oh no you don’t,” He quickly stepped in front of you and crossed his arms. “I think you’ve had enough.” 

“C’mon Tony, have a drink with me. I’d much rather drink with you than with some stupid frat boys anyway.” You turned away from him and took a seat in one of his desk chairs. “You’re more my speed. I don’t like hanging out with people my age, they’re too immature.” 

“Yep, you’re definitely the poster boy for maturity right now. How much exactly did you drink?” He asked.

“Hm” You started to count on your fingers and mumble to yourself. You couldn’t remember how much you had actually drank. You took a guess. “Six- maybe seven.” 

“Six or seven what? Beers? Shots? Gallons?” 

“Maybe eight,” You got distracted and started to play with the spinny chair. 

“You’re going to make yourself dizzy- Y/N, stop that.” You didn’t listen to him. “If you throw up on my floor I’m sending you the dry cleaning bill.” He said, but you still didn’t listen. He gave up and walked over and stopped the chair from spinning by grabbing the armrests. Leaving you and him face to face. For a moment you got so lost in his eyes that you forgot where you were.   

“You know, you’re kinda cute when you're angry.” You reached out and pinched his cheek. You giggled, he wasn’t happy. 

“That’s it, sport. You’re going home. FRIDAY-” He called out, but you cut him off before he got the chance to send you home. 

“Jeez, Tony,” You whined. “Don’t be such a party pooper. I thought you were supposed to be the fun one.” 

“Oh, I am.” He raised his eyebrows. Suddenly he seemed very annoyed, oops. “What’s not fun is taking a high schooler to a college party, getting blackout drunk, and making him take care of you.” His anger was subtle and masked with sarcasm but it sobered you a little bit. Your smile began to fade. 

“I-” You were at a loss for words. Tony had never expressed anger at you before. “I’m sorry…”

“What you did tonight was at best irresponsible and at worst dangerous.” His temper was rising, you could tell he was reaching his boiling point. “What were you thinking? You know what, don’t answer that.” He held his finger up. “You” He pointed, “are going home.” 

“Tony, I'm sorry. I mean it. It was a stupid mistake.” You began, getting more and more upset by the moment. Tears started to sting at your eyes and your voice trembled. “I won’t do it again. I just can’t be alone after everything that happened. Drinking is the only thing that makes me feel okay and I just-” You felt a tear drip down your cheek. For the past few months you had been having trouble with your PTSD from the Thanos snap. Even though it was all over, the trauma still scarred you. You used alcohol to cope. 

“Shhh,” Tony’s expression softened. If anyone understood that struggle, it was him. “It's okay.” 

“Please don’t be angry at me, I can’t-” you choked out as you tried to hold back your tears. “I can’t handle you being angry at me. I can handle when Steve is mad at me, I can handle when Clint is mad at me, hell, I can even handle when Nat is mad at me. But you? Not you.” Tony pulled you into a hug, petting your hair with his hand. You let yourself cry onto his t-shirt. 

“I’m not angry at you. It’s okay…” He cooed. “I understand it more than anyone, trust me.” His chest was soft and warm, you loved the way his expensive cologne smelled. It seemed like a mix of pine and spice. It smelled like home. You pulled back to look him in the face. Through your dizzy drunkenness, you could feel the tension between you two. Looking into his eyes made your stomach flutter, you were sure that he felt it too. After a momentary pause, you leaned in and kissed his lips. He barely kissed back, but he didn’t reject it either. The kiss was quick, kind of like an experiment. You pulled back and stared at him, waiting for a chemical reaction. He stayed confused. 

“I’ve always wanted to kiss you.” You said, breaking the silence. “I’ve liked you for a while but I’ve been too shy to say anything.” You anxiously awaited his response. 

“(Y/N), I’m old enough to be your father-”

“I don’t care.” You cut him off. “I like you. I want to be with you. You’re the only person that truly makes me feel safe and that’s why I wanted to come here. I don’t want to be alone anymore. I want to be with you.” There was a long pause. Tony seemed to be thinking very carefully about what to say next. He looked at you with a mix of confusion and sympathy. 

“Let’s talk about this tomorrow. I think we should get you to bed.” 

“Okay…” You said, slightly disappointed but understanding that he didn’t want to talk about it. You walked up the stairs with him and he brought you to the guest room. You peered in through the open door as you stood in the frame. It was roomy and looked comfortable, but the whole reason you didn’t want to go home is because you didn’t want to sleep alone. 

“You can sleep in here. I’ll just be right down the hallway, okay?” he said. 

“Okay.” You replied. He began to walk away but suddenly you got the courage to speak up. “Tony?” you called to him and he turned around. “Can I sleep with you tonight?” You asked timidly. He paused for a moment. 

“Sure, just for tonight.” you smiled. “But if you throw up I’m kicking you out.” He teased, you giggled as you walked towards his room.  “I’m being completely serious.” You waltzed into his room and flopped down on his bed. He turned around and started rifling through his dresser. 

“You can borrow my clothes to sleep in,” He said with his back turned. “I’ll probably have to incinerate them tomorrow to get the smell of whiskey out of it but here-” He turned around to look at you, but while he had been looking for pajamas you had already fallen asleep. 

The next morning you woke up with a pounding headache. You rubbed the sleep from your eyes and sat up, groaning with exhaustion. You looked around at the room. Tony had fallen asleep on the comfy chair on the other side of the room, he was passed out. You looked down at your clothes. You weren’t wearing what you left the house in last night. Suddenly nausea overcame you and you ran to the bathroom as quickly as you could to throw up in the toilet. You leaned over the porcelain bowl and yacked for a while, but you felt better afterwards. You took a deep breath, washed your face and mouth out in the sink, and walked back into Tony’s room. Clearly you stirred him with your vomiting because he had already woken up and left the room. You crawled back in bed wearing Tony’s oversize t-shirt and no pants, you covered your legs with the soft plush blanket. Tony walked in.

“Good morning, Dionysus. How’s your head?” He sat at the end of the bed with a glass of water and an aspirin. You winced in pain.

“It’s just peachy, thank you.” 

“Here, take this.” He handed it to you and without hesitation, you took it. 

“What happened last night?” You asked, your memory was still hazy. 

“Peter brought you here after you went to a frat party and you refused to go to your own home. You passed out on my bed but not before confessing your crush on me.” He stated very matter-of-factly. You could tell he was basking in the fact that you were reaping the consequences of your actions. Your stomach dropped. It all came back to you… the crying, the kiss, the confession.

“Oh no,” You shut your eyes tightly.

“Oh yes, and I believe you mentioned that I’m older than dirt. Or was it ‘older than dinosaur bones’?” You cringed. You couldn’t believe you said that to his face. “You’re quite the flirt when you drink.” You looked down at your clothes and suddenly a big question hit you.

“Oh my god, did we…?” 

“Absolutely not, you came in and passed out on my bed. I figured you didn’t want to sleep in a leather skirt so I changed you…” A moment of silence hung in the air. “Don’t flatter yourself, I didn’t look.” He avoided eye contact. 

“Thank you…” You felt bad for being such a pain when he was being so kind to you. “I’m sorry for um, saying all that stuff to you last night. But also for the kiss...” You took a deep breath trying to build up the courage to talk about your feelings. “I’ve had a crush on you for a while…” You awaited his response.

“I know,” He said to your surprise. 

“You knew?” You said in disbelief. 

“I’ve always known, Y/N. I see the way you look at me, I’m not stupid.” 

“W-why didn’t you ever say anything?”

“You’re half my age, I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“Tony, that doesn’t matter to me. I don’t care about how old you are.” You assured him.

“Your drunk alter ego seems to care.” He teased. 

Are you saying you feel the same way?” You asked, trying to make sense of everything.

“Yeah-” Before he could finish his sentence you cut him off with a kiss, a sober one this time. You felt him lean into you, caressing your face in his hand. Despite the age gap, it felt right. You felt safe. As your lips disconnected, you locked eyes with him. He sighed. 

“What?” you asked. 

“I need to find you a toothbrush,” You cracked a smile. “You smell terrible too. I’ll turn on the shower for you.” He stood up and walked out of the room. Although your head was pounding, your heart was full with joy. Tony was finally yours.

[mbuntamed]

Soul Commissioner - Part 3

Genre: Fantasy / Romance / Stray Kids

Word Count: 4100

Disclaimer: This story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this AU are fictitious. No identification with actual persons, places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred.

Triggers: bullying, harassment, depression, death, murder, suicidal thoughts, trauma, torture, body shaming, ghosts, language, and sexual situations.

***Part 3 can be triggering as it introduces a new character and highlights his history with being bullied and body-shamed. Part 4 will show his character progression as well as set in motion the major story line.

_____________________________________________________________

Homeroom bell had just rung, but after the horrible morning he had, Seungmin was going to take his time getting to the classroom. He had arrived at school early this morning to have breakfast, which was a mistake. As soon as he walked into the cafeteria, a group of his classmates spotted him and circled him like a pack of hyenas. They proceeded to poke him all over as if he were meat to be tenderized. Ironically enough, that’s exactly the type of jokes they were making at his expense while they were poking him. Fitting, he thought to himself.

Seungmin knew he was a bit overweight for societal standards. Plus, he did not hide the fact that he enjoyed food. Although, at moments like this, he wished he could hide the fact that he found it impossible to hide his emotions. He really hated getting attention of any kind, whether it be getting called on in class, someone asking him a question, and especially loud, obnoxious bullies. 

Seungmin lowered his head and kept quiet while the boys continued to taunt and poke him. Any name or insult which referred to being overweight was yelled at him on a regular basis; almost the entire school called him SeungMOO. Though with their big, brown, doe eyes, he rather thought cows were cute, so he tried not to mind. 

He waited for the boys to stop picking on him and then he tried to walk away to get breakfast. But his shyness was mistaken for insolence, so the boys followed him up in line, mooing at him. And the second he had a tray of food in his hand, they flipped it up into his face. As the tray clanged to the ground, everyone turned around to face him. He was now wearing eggs and grits, with a link of sausage hanging out of his shirt pocket. 

The entire cafeteria burst out laughing at his misfortune. The bullies seemed very proud of themselves. So proud, in fact, that they took out their phones and took a picture of him. Seungmin, however, was obviously not amused. As much as he was embarrassed and angry, he was more upset over the fact that they, in their torture, had splashed food on woman who worked in the cafeteria.

“I’m very sorry,” he said as he turned to face the cafeteria worker. She smiled pitifully at him and then simply wiped the splashed grits off of her work clothes and went back to work. 

Seungmin’s bullies seemed satisfied with their work, so they went back to sit down and finish their own breakfast. Seungmin, however, realized that he didn’t have enough time to get another tray of food AND clean the mess off of himself. And seeing as how the teachers would surely scold him for looking disheveled, which would only make his anxiety worse, he decided he had to choose the latter. So he left the cafeteria and went to the restroom in hopes of making himself presentable by the time Homeroom started. 

He had mostly gotten all the food off of himself when the bell rang. He gathered his belongings and quickly made his way out of the bathroom and down the hall. But as he rounded the corner, someone walked into him at full speed. He looked up to see Y/N, dripping in what appeared to be coffee, and fighting back tears. He quickly looked away as not to make her feel more self-conscious than she probably already felt.

He could feel her eyes on him as she apologized for bumping into him. He wanted more than anything to look at her again; to meet and hold her gaze and to smile at her and make her feel that everything would be okay. He wanted to reach out and wipe away her tears and tell her that he was there for her; that he was there WITH her. He wanted to say something; to say anything. But he was too shy; too scared. It was all he could do to lift his gaze to meet hers for a split second, nod at her in forgiveness, and practically run away from her.

I’m pathetic, he thought to himself as he entered the classroom and took his seat in the back. But as he was cursing himself for being the biggest chicken in the world, he noticed Y/N’s seat was covered in coffee. He realized in that moment what must have happened to her, which made him feel even worse for not saying anything kind to her; or anything at all. 

After a few minutes, Y/N returned with some cleaning spray and paper towels to clean up around her seat. Go help her, he thought to himself, stand up and go help her! But his body wouldn’t listen to his brain. So he just sat there and watched as she crawled around on her hands and knees cleaning up the mess while their classmates snickered at her. 

It was so sad to watch her like this. Seungmin had known Y/N since they entered primary school together. They actually used to play together...until her parents’ accident; after that, she didn’t really talk to anyone for a long time. But when they were around eleven, he noticed that she had grown close with a couple of the other girls from their class. 

These girls did everything together. It was really great to see her smile and have fun again. And every year that they returned after summer break, Seungmin would think how much prettier Y/N had gotten. There’s no way she could be any cuter, he would think to himself before he saw her. But every single time, she proved him wrong. He never spoke to her after primary school for fear of her growing popularity matched with that of her possible rejection of him. But still, she was the only girl he wanted to be around, even after all these years.

But between eighth and ninth grade, she started to change. For the next year, she slowly drifted away from her friends. Seungmin would see the girls eating their lunch together at school, but Y/N would be at a different table eating a small, packed lunch, or sometimes, nothing at all. And on weekends or after school, he would see the girls out at a cafe or at the mall, but Y/N was never with them anymore. And the more time passed, the more isolated she became.

One day during their sophomore year of High School, Seungmin left school and stopped at his family’s restaurant on his way home. He noticed Y/N sitting at a table inside with his parents. He hid and waited for her to leave before running inside and asking them why she was there. They told him that they had just hired her as a part time hostess. Seungmin couldn’t contain his smile when he realized that this meant he now had an excuse to see her more often.

So for the next two years, he would race to his family’s restaurant after school to get something to eat and “do his homework.” He would have also worked there, but his family was very strict about his grades so they wanted him to concentrate on his studies in order to retain the top spot in their grade. And he did study while he was at the restaurant, but he also ate more often, which probably worked against his already larger build. But he was too busy secretly pining over Y/N that nothing, other than his studies, really mattered. 

As happy as Seungmin was to spend time near Y/N, he was equally saddened having to watch her old friends go from being like sisters to her, to ignoring her, to bullying her, and all of it because she stopped hanging out with them. It was like they were bored one day and just arbitrarily decided that picking on her would be their new hobby. And it almost seemed like Y/N felt bad for not hanging out with her friends by the way she just let them walk all over her. But no matter how sad or hurt she must have felt, she never let them take her smile. And boy did he love that smile. 

Seungmin was pulled from his thoughts when the bell rang again. By this time, Y/N had finished cleaning and was getting organized at her desk before class started. And when the teacher entered the classroom, she held her head high and greeted her with a smile alongside her classmates. 

The rest of the morning went by without too much drama. In between classes, some of the girls would make snide remarks about Y/N smelling like a coffee house. It was utterly unbelievable that they were the cause of the coffee smell stuck to Y/N and yet they would relentlessly make fun of her for that mess that they created. But Seungmin also had to smile to himself because what went better with the breakfast smell clinging to his clothing than the coffee smell clinging to hers? 

Lunch period wasn’t too bad for Y/N; the girls left her alone for the most part. She usually sat at a table in the back corner and kept to herself. Seungmin sat across the cafeteria from her, but always within view. He mentally kept track of the days she ate, what she ate, and what she read while at lunch to distract her from everyone else around her. Or at least that’s what he assumed she was doing when she was reading at lunch, but only because he did that too.

Yes, lunch wasn’t too bad for Y/N, but it was always bad for him. It was like he wasn’t allowed to eat anything ever because he was overweight. No matter what ate or how little he ate, it seemed the whole world only wanted to put him down. At this point, he had exhausted all means necessary to stay out of the way as to not draw attention to himself, but it was like the bullies in this school had Seungmin radar; they were just drawn to him. Little did he know today’s torment was far from over.

Seungmin sat at his usual table across the room from Y/N, pulled out his lunch which was chicken and rice from his family’s restaurant, and opened his book to where he left off. He was just about to taste his first spoonful of food when a basketball flew across the room and hit him square in the face knocking him backwards off his seat and onto the floor. This, of course, gained the attention of the entire cafeteria. Here we go, he thought to himself.

Seungmin stood up and bushed the spilled food off his shirt. But when he looked up from his clothing, the five absolute worst guys of the school were standing beside him. One had already picked up his lunch, while another had grabbed his book off the table. They all had a similar cocky smile on their faces, which was never a good omen.

“Why did you stand up SeungMOO? I thought all cows like to eat their meals on the ground,” one of the boys said mockingly.

“Yeah SeungMOO, we’re just trying to help you feel more comfortable while filling your FOUR stomachs,” another boy chimed in.

Seungmin looked around the room and noticed that all eyes were on him. Even Y/N had now looked up from her book to see what was going on. This made him feel extra shy and embarrassed, causing him to freeze up. Unable to form even a word, he just kept his head down. 

“What’s wrong SeungMOO? You look like you’re gonna cry,” a third boy said while pushing Seungmin’s shoulder hard enough to make him stagger backwards a few steps.

“Where do you think you’re going?” The first boy asked as he yanked Seungmin’s arm hard enough forward to knock him to his knees. And Seungmin went down, hard.

When he hit the floor, he let out a pained moan and a few of the other students gasped. But no one came to his aid. They all just sat back and watched as he was both physically and emotionally abused in front of half the school. 

Meanwhile, the ring leader of this band of bullies had stepped in front of Seungmin and gestured for his minions to lay off him. But Seungmin was smart enough to know that it wasn’t out of the goodness of his heart, but rather to set the stage for whatever was coming next. So Seungmin raised his head to face him and braced himself.

“SeungMOO,” he began, “why are you looking at me with such fear? I’m not going to hurt you. I thought we were friends, and friends support each other. Don’t you want to be my friend and let me support you?”

Seungmin just continued to stare at him from his knelt position on the ground.

“You look hungry and I can’t stand to see the less-fortunate go hungry. So here, have some lunch,” he said as he dumped Seungmin’s chicken and rice on the floor in front of him.

The cafeteria was so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

“Go on, eat it!” One of the boys said snidely. 

“Yeah SeungMOO, be a good little cow and eat your lunch,” another one chanted.

Seungmin looked at his lunch now lying on the ground in front of him and tried his hardest to fight back the tears forming in his eyes. He didn’t know how he was going to get out of this one. He knew he couldn’t flee, but he definitely knew he couldn’t fight. In that moment, that horrible, awkward, terrifying moment...he simply wished he could just disappear forever. 

His thoughts were cut short by two of his classmates now standing on either side of him. He looked at the two of them, and then back to the boy who had just dumped his food on the floor. He pleaded with his eyes as a single tear rolled down his cheek. He was mad at himself for allowing them to see his tears, but he just couldn’t hold them in any longer. He just wanted this torture to end. But he knew that as long as he was alive, they would never stop bullying him.

“Awh SeungMOO, don’t cry,” their leader said with about as much compassion as a spider has a for a fly. “I’m just here to make sure you grow up big and strong.”

At that moment, the two boys beside Seungmin grabbed his arms and held him in position. When he tried to break loose, they just pulled him tighter. And the tighter they pulled his arms, the more painful it became. He bit his lip to keep from screaming out, but that didn’t make the pain any less unbearable. So he stopped struggling and just gave in.

“Good boy, SeungMOO,” the boy said while patting him on the head. “Now, as I was saying before you so rudely interrupted me with your pathetic display...I’m just trying to be a good friend and classmate and ensure you stay healthy. And the best way to stay healthy is to eat all your food.”

Seugmin looked up at him, and then looked around the cafeteria, which had become almost frozen in time as everyone stared at the drama unfolding before them. He wasn’t entirely sure how this was going to end, but he knew it wasn’t going to be pretty. I wish I were dead, he thought to himself.

“Well SeungMOO, are you going to be a good little cow and graze?” The boy said as he gestured to the food on the ground.

Seungmin looked at the food, and then back at the boy with pleading eyes.

“Eat it!” One of the boys holding back his arms said as he pushed his body lower to the floor.

“Eat it, you cow!” Another boy yelled.

The group of them echoed each other repeating it over and over again. “Eat it. Eat it.” they chanted while the two boys holding back his arms pushed his face closer and closer to the floor. He was a mere centimeters from the ground when a voice rang out from across the room.

“That’s enough!” The voice echoed throughout the cafeteria.

Everyone, including the gang of bullies, turned to see who had the nerve to try and tell them what to do. Much to everyone’s surprise, it was the quiet, kept-to-herself, and today, smelled like the coffee that was poured on her, Y/N. And she wasn’t trying to hide it. She was already walking across the room towards them with a fierce look in her eyes. As she approached the boys, she spoke again.

“That’s enough. Let him go,” she said with a confidence no one knew she had. 

“Go sit down and mind your own business you bitch,” one of the boys snapped to her. But she did not even blink. 

“You’ve had your “fun,” and at his expense. Now just give it a rest,” she said, stepping in between Seungmin and his tormentor.

“Well aren’t you brave? Maybe I need to teach you a lesson too, but a different kind of lesson,” their “fearless” leader said as he grabbed Y/N’s chin and pulled it close to his face.

Without missing a beat, Y/N slapped him across the face so hard that the slap echoed just as loudly as her voice had earlier. Everyone gasped with shock, even the other bullies. Some of the students even laughed, which probably made the situation even worse. But the absolute worst thing that happened was that Y/N smiled after she did it. She smiled proudly, too.

This boy was no longer just a High School bully in that moment. He was now an eighteen year old infuriated man with an embarrassing red mark on his cheek and rage engulfing him. With his classmates’ laughter fueling him, he whipped around and punched Y/N square in the face, knocking her to the ground. 

Seungmin turned to face her, but was made sick to his stomach at what he saw. She was lying on the ground, curled in a ball, holding her face while blood gushed from her nose and mouth. She had tears running down her face and she was whimpering softly. Meanwhile, no one came to her side to check on her. And the cowardly boy who hit her? He was smugly staring down at her like he was proud of his actions. 

Something snapped inside Seungmin. All his sadness and embarrassment, pain and torture, had turned to rage. He jumped up, knocking down the two boys who had been holding his arms, and lunged for the scumbag who had just sunk so low that he punched a girl. And not just any girl, but Y/N, the girl he loved. So with what can only be described as a battle cry, Seungmin launched himself at him and knocked him down with all his strength. He managed to get in two good hits before the other boys pulled him off. Unfortunately for him, he had zero experience with fighting and absolutely no strength so he was sure his efforts were in vain. At least for once in your miserable life you actually did something, he thought to himself. 

After pulling Seungmin off of him and getting a tight grip on him, the boys dragged him out of the cafeteria towards the back exit of the building. The last thing he saw was Y/N still lying on the ground with no one making any effort to check on her well-being. He wished he could have done more, but now he was about to pay the price for what little he did. 

After leaving the building, there weren’t many words exchanged. The boys took turns hitting Seungmin. And when he finally couldn’t stand anymore, they took turns kicking him too. He was beaten so badly that there was now more blood on his face than face. They yelled profanities at him, called him names, and then before they left to go back inside, adding insult to injury, they spit on him.

He laid there behind the school, hidden behind a dumpster, for a long, long time. He was in so much pain that it hurt to breathe. He was dreading the thought of trying to stand up or even move at all. He knew eventually he would have to try, but for now, he was just going to stay put and writhe in pain. Still, despite all his ache and agony, all he could think about was whether or not Y/N was okay.

Eventually, he pushed through the pain and managed to stand up. He thought about going back inside for his belongings, but he didn’t want to risk running into anyone, especially any of the teachers. The last thing he needed right now was to get labeled a nark and be bullied for that too. So he just left. Granted, he was in no shape to walk so he kind of just limped slowly along the sidewalk. But he was determined to get home without drawing too much attention. That way, he could dress his wounds and wash the blood off his clothing without his family ever knowing anything. 

With every step, the pain grew worse and worse. But it was his determination to stay under the radar that kept him going. That, and his wandering thoughts about Y/N. He wondered if she was okay and if anyone helped her. He also focused on what he would say to her when he finally saw her; he had to thank her somehow. Her efforts may have been in vain, but at least she did something, unlike him. I’m so weak, he thought to himself, I bet no one would even notice if I just never came back. But he secretly hoped at least Y/N would notice. 

As he painfully made his way home, he continued to focus his thoughts on Y/N; she was a great distraction from everything. He thought about what it would be like to have her smile at him. He imagined the sound of her voice as she said his name. And when the pain worsened and he felt short of breath, he thought about what it would be like to have her worry about him and care for him. Some of his more morbid thoughts trailed off on her crying over him, but he was doing everything he could to stay focused and positive. I can’t thank her if I’m not alive, he repeated to himself like a mantra. 

He was almost home; a mere few blocks from his house when he heard sirens. As he rounded the corner, he could see a mob of people crowded around the street. It appeared as if a massive car accident had occurred and several people were severely injured. As he got closer, he was able to survey the true magnitude of the severity of the accident. It was like something you could only imagine would happen in the movies: cars smashed in, people limping away covered in blood, bodies lying unconscious...the sight actually made Seungmin want to throw up.

As the emergency vehicles arrived, they went right to work. EMTs began working to help everyone who was injured, firefighters were assessing public safety and assisting the EMTs while they began trying to save everyone, and the police got to work on creating a perimeter, interviewing witnesses, and helping anywhere they were needed. It was all very intense and the crowd was unable to take their eyes off the scene. This worked in Seungmin’s favor as he was able to sneak right through, unnoticed. 

But as he passed through the crowd, a rupture of screams rang out. He turned to see a car speeding out of control towards the accident site. Those on the sidewalk began pushing each other and running in all directions to get as far away from the street as possible. In the chaos, one member of the crowd knocked into Seungmin, and given the horrendous state he was already in, he couldn’t keep his balance. He was knocked backwards into the street directly in the path of the speeding car. 

The last thing Seungmin saw was the car’s headlights closing in on him. He closed his eyes and smiled, thinking at least no one can bully me in death. And then he thought of Y/N, one last time.

[thenexusofsouls]

"I- I know." Carter swallowed thickly, still fiddling with her bracelet as the hair on the back of her neck prickled uncomfortably. She knew he didn't want anything happening to her, and... it somehow made her feel worse. Because she knew how hard he tried to do good with her. Knew how much he wanted to protect her from everything else that he'd seen despite how much she'd already gone through at no fault of his. But... she had already experienced how cruel people could be, and it had stolen most of her childhood. She wasn't a child, and she couldn't let herself live with the fear that had plagued her since she had been. But she didn't want this to hurt her father as well. Didn't want him hurting because of the decisions she made. She was still scared and she just... wanted to make this better somehow.

But the moment Obadiah's name left Tony's lips, Carter flinched - turning her head away as her jaw tightened, her face paling just enough to be noticeable. Her heart thudded before it picked up pace, and she did her best to keep her breathing under control. Did her best to swallow the rising panic in her chest as she forced herself to take note of everything around her. To take note of the feeling of her bracelet against her wrist and beneath her fingers. Of the fact her father was right there and wasn't lying on that couch with a hole in his chest--

She couldn't respond as she forced herself to remain as steady as possible. And she hated herself for still being unable to hear that name without having a panic attack. Hated that she couldn't seem to move on. But... even despite his apology, Carter was hurt that he'd remind her of that. As if she hadn't been there when Obadiah showed his true colors. As if she hadn't seen her father dying because of him. And she felt... angry. Because it was easier to deal with anger. Easier to distract herself from the panic that threatened to consume her.

"You- you don't need to- to remind me," she said quietly, a sharp edge to her shaky voice. "I- I know people lie. I- I know how- how terrible people can- can be. I've- I've been on- on that end, too." More times than I care to count. "And I- I wouldn't let him- him hurt you if that- that was his goal. I- I know I've- I've fucked up before, but I wouldn't- wouldn't do that to you. I- I wouldn't let someone get to- to you through me." Because... while she knew she hadn't been a good daughter, she wasn't going to let anything like that happen. Not if she could help it. And she trusted Pietro enough to be certain that wasn't even remotely a risk she'd be taking with him.

That frightened anger faded despite the panic still causing her heart to race, and Carter winced. She hadn't meant to snap at Tony. Not when she knew he was trying. Not when she knew he was looking out for her, and not when he was understandably worried about himself as well. And, slowly, she moved over to him before sitting down next to him - staying silent as he apologized once more and explained himself. She... wasn't quite sure what to say or how to react.

"You- you should probably see a- a doctor about that." Her gaze flickered towards him as he popped an antacid - humor weakly lacing her tone. But she turned her gaze away again and swallowed thickly, her hand going still as she stopped fiddling with her bracelet. "You- you could get Stark- Stark Industries to work on- on that. I'm- I'm sure your lot could- could find a- a way to make them taste better." She sighed, and pursed her lips before she reluctantly addressed the issue of... mistakes.

"Isn't that- that the thing, though? That I- I need to make mistakes to find- find my own way?" she sounded weary, and she rolled the beads of her bracelet beneath her fingers as her panic slowly began to subside - her shoulders slumping. "I've- I've already made enough- enough of them, dad. I- I wish I could change them, but... I- I can't." She wished she could say they were little things. Something like failing to hold a door open for someone else. But... they were things she couldn't speak about - especially not to him. Not when she had stayed quiet for as long as she had. But she didn't blame him - she couldn't. Not when it was her own fault.

Carter leaned against her father - resting her head on his shoulder as he promised she would never lose him. She believed him, she did, but... she still felt terrible. Still felt like she only managed to cause more harm instead of trying to mend things. "You're- you're not gonna lose me- me either, y'know," she mumbled, "you're kinda- kinda stuck with me."

Slowly, she lifted her head and finally looked up at him - staying quiet even as Tony agreed to speak with Pietro. She felt relieved, but... it didn't make her feel much better. "Thank you." She turned her head away once more - fidgeting with her bracelet. "I'll- I'll be there if... if that- that helps. Unless... it'd be- be easier if I- I wasn't."

Tony hadn’t meant to upset Carter with the reference, but that was just it. he hadn’t been thinking about her in the moment, he was only lashing out with his own emotion, his own trauma surrounding Obadiah. As soon as he remembered that she would have as bad a reaction or maybe even worse, he regretted saying it and wished he could take it back. But of course, no one could ever take anything back in life. “I’m sorry... I know, I’m sorry...” he said, feeling like the biggest dick in the world. “I don’t think before I speak, as you well know,” he said, self-loathing creeping in. “I’m less worried about someone getting to me than I am about them getting to you. You’re my daughter, my absolute responsibility, duty, and heart. If I fail myself, I can apologize to myself later, but if I fail you...” His face said it all. He’d never forgive himself. “How do I protect you without holding on too tightly?” he said, a strange sort of smile coming to his lips. It was the kind of smile one showed when they were at a loss, and have to show some humor or they might cry instead.

The topic of disgusting antacids was a welcome reprieve, however brief. “Been there, done that. You know what the doctor told me? Reduce my stress, don’t eat spicy foods, and don’t drink alcohol.” He laughed that special sort of high-pitched laugh he got when he found something genuinely hilarious. “Yeah, I’ll get right on that.” He looked at her. “What d’you think, honey? You wanna work with me on a little side project to create a tastier antacid? Could be fun. Quality time with your old man. Making the world a better place one bubblegum-flavored chewable at a time?” He chuckled, enjoying the light moment before they got right back into the thick of the conversation again.

“Yeah, that is the thing... but... I’d really rather you not have to live with regret. Take it from someone who has a ton of it, it’s not fun.” That wasn’t right, though, to shelter her so much that she never made her own mistakes. How was she supposed to learn anything that way? Knowing that didn’t help, though. “If I could fix all your mistakes and change everything and everyone who ever hurt you, myself included, to make your life better... I would do it in a heartbeat. But I can’t do that any more than you can go back and not make those mistakes yourself. Life sucks that way. It’s a constant game of gotcha.”

Tony smiled as she leaned her head against his shoulder, lifting his arm to curl around her shoulders. “How about... we’re both stuck with each other? The family that sticks together... sticks... together. Wow. That was terrible, I’ll... I’ll workshop that one and get back to you. That was so bad it wouldn’t even pass for a decent dad joke.” 

So this was happening. Tony took a deep breath. It was probably better than it happened sooner rather than later. “Nope, I definitely want you there. We all need to iron this out somehow. Heh, get it? Iron it out. Because I’m... Iron Man? God, what is wrong with me and jokes that aren’t funny today? No, but seriously, let’s do it. Now. I’m game. Let’s just rip it off like a band-aid. Wait... is Wanda gonna be there? I don’t care, really. Well, I do, but... Mostly I just wanna mentally prepare for this event, so... just... to get an idea...” he asked awkwardly.