#she is like when a mutual posts about being sad and i am filled with agony that there is so much pain in the world

[sleevebuscemii]

claudia should not have to suffer at the hands of ancient insane homosexuals she should be a girl blogger teenager in her 20s using her blog as a digital diary posting every thought she’s ever had and tagging posts of deer napping in a field together with ‘me and who’ and ‘mutuals do this’

[kiwriteswords]

Tonight, you're on my mind, so you'll never know...

Chapter One Out of Four (Possibly Five!)

Masterlist || Ao3

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Female Reader

Word Count: 8k

Tags/Warnings: Canon-typical themes, sexual themes, hurt/comfort, angst, pining, mutual pining, spoilers for Criminal Minds seasons 1-12, friends to lovers, first-time, loss of virginity, grief, trauma, timeline of 8 year old!Hotch---Post CM!Hotch--please let me know if I am missing anything!

Sypnosis: Years have passed since you and Aaron Hotchner first crossed paths, but the connection you shared has never truly faded. In the wake of personal loss and career demands, your lives have taken different directions, leaving unresolved feelings and unspoken words lingering in the background. As fate pulls you back into each other’s orbit, you must navigate the delicate balance between duty, grief, and the possibility of rekindling something you thought was lost forever. In a world of danger, distance, and emotional walls, will you and Aaron finally confront the past—or let it slip away once more?

Aaron Hotchner was eight years old when he first met you. You were the new kid in Mrs. Parker’s third-grade class, standing nervously at the front of the room with your backpack clutched tight to your shoulders. From his desk in the middle of the room, Aaron gave you a small, encouraging smile, and something in your anxious expression softened.

As the weeks went by, Aaron made it his mission to make sure you felt welcomed. He was always the one to offer a smile, a joke, or a helping hand when you needed it. He'd pass you notes during math class, full of silly drawings or clever ways to remember formulas, making you laugh when you felt like you didn’t belong. You and Aaron became inseparable, spending recess huddled together, planning your next science project, or making up games on the playground.

When the science fair rolled around, there was no question who your partner would be. You and Aaron stayed up late at each other’s houses, surrounded by cardboard volcanoes and school supplies, arguing playfully over who got to make the 'lava' erupt. Those late nights were filled with whispered secrets and quiet giggles that only the two of you understood.

But just as life seemed to settle into a pattern, everything changed. Aaron’s parents decided he needed a different kind of education—a stricter environment to hone his potential. He was being sent to boarding school, far away from your small town and the life you both knew. The news hit like a punch to the gut, the kind that left you breathless and aching.

On his last day of school, you both sat on the swings, silent, the words you wanted to say trapped in your throat. Aaron finally turned to you, a sad smile on his face, and handed you a small note—his handwriting neat and careful as always. You opened it to see the words, "I’ll come back someday. Don’t forget me."

You nodded, blinking back the tears that threatened to fall. "I won’t," you promised, squeezing his hand one last time before he let go. You watched him walk away, carrying that promise with him.

Time passed, and life carried you both in different directions. Aaron went off to boarding school and then to college while you buried yourself in your studies, eventually finding your passion for medicine. 

Aaron hadn’t crossed your mind in years—not in the way he used to, back when every recess felt like a lifetime you spent together. Time had a way of making memories feel softer like they belonged to someone else.

You heard bits and pieces about Aaron over the years, mainly through the grapevine. You knew he was still with Haley Brooks, the sweet girl who lived a block away from where he used to live. It seemed inevitable that they would end up together; she was the familiar face, the constant in his life when everything else kept changing.

It was a complete surprise when you walked into the library on your first day at college and saw him. Aaron Hotchner, sitting at a table with law books piled high, his face buried in a notebook, scribbling furiously. 

He looked different—older, more serious—but when he glanced up and saw you, his entire expression softened in that way it always had when he looked at you.

“Aaron?” you called out, tentative, like you weren’t sure if he would remember you.

His eyes went wide, and then his lips curved into that same slow smile you remembered from so many years ago. "I can’t believe it’s you," he said, standing up, his voice tinged with both disbelief and a quiet joy.

You two fell into step as though no time had passed, and soon, one cup of coffee turned into hours of catching up, late-night study sessions, and long walks across campus. You'd spend those evenings beneath the soft glow of street lamps, talking about everything and nothing, like you were making up for all the years you'd lost.

One night, during a quiet moment on a bench outside the library, Aaron turned to you, his eyes filled with a kind of wonder that made your heart skip a beat. 

“You know, I never thought I’d see you again,” he said softly, his voice laced with a mix of disbelief and gratitude. “I thought that part of my life was over, and then you just… walked back in.”

You gave him a small, shy smile, feeling the warmth of his gaze settle over you. 

“I didn’t think I’d see you again either,” you replied, your voice barely more than a whisper. “But I’m glad I did. It feels like fate, almost.”

He reached for your hand, hesitating for just a second before his fingers laced through yours. 

“I don’t think I realized how much I missed this—how much I missed you,” he admitted, his thumb gently brushing over the back of your hand. “You always had this way of making everything feel... right. Even when everything else is falling apart.”

You looked down at your intertwined hands, feeling like you were standing on the edge of something that could change everything. “You know,” you said, your eyes flicking up to meet his, “you’re different with me, Aaron. Softer, somehow. Like you’re letting me see the side of you that no one else gets to see.”

He smiled at that, a slow, tender smile that seemed to light up his whole face. “That’s because, with you, I don’t have to pretend,” he said quietly. “With you, I can just be... me.”

You knew why that was. You knew about his family, the chaos he rarely spoke of but never seemed to escape. His father’s harsh words, the impossible expectations, and the way Aaron had been forced to grow up too fast. He’d always been the parentified child—the one who had to hold it all together when everything around him was crumbling. 

With you, he didn’t have to be that. He didn’t have to be the protector, the caretaker, the one who was always in control. With you, he could just breathe.

Slowly, those study sessions turned into something more. There were late-night conversations that turned into soft laughter, the kind that echoed in the quiet hallways of the library when everyone else had gone home. 

Aaron started to lean closer, his arm brushing against yours, his gaze lingering just a moment too long on your lips. And then, one night, he finally closed the distance.

It was a gentle kiss, innocent and tentative, as if he was afraid to break the fragile moment you’d both created. When he pulled back, he rested his forehead against yours, eyes closed, his breath mingling with yours in the cool night air. 

“I’ve wanted to do that since the moment I saw you again,” he whispered, his voice filled with that same vulnerability that he rarely let anyone see. “I just... didn’t know if I was allowed to.”

You laughed softly, your fingers still tangled in his. “You’re definitely allowed to,” you said, your voice cracking slightly with emotion. “I’ve been waiting for you to do that, too.”

Aaron looked at you then with an expression that you’d never seen on him before—like he was trying to memorize every detail of your face, like he couldn’t believe you were real. He cupped your cheek in his hand, his thumb gently stroking your skin. “I’m so glad you’re here,” he said softly. “You make everything feel a little less... heavy.”

It was a warm evening, the kind where the world felt impossibly still, as if time itself had slowed just for the two of you. Aaron had walked you back to your dorm, his hand loosely clasped around yours. There was a softness in his gaze, a quiet understanding that neither of you had to rush—that this moment was yours, untouched by the outside world.

He kissed you again, the same gentle, tentative way he had the first time, his lips brushing against yours like a secret only you two were allowed to share. But tonight was different. There was an unspoken sense that something more was waiting—something both of you wanted, but neither of you was certain how to name.

In the dim light of your room, surrounded by the stillness of night, Aaron’s hands found yours. He held them carefully, as if they were made of something delicate. There was a nervousness in the air, but it was the kind that comes when something sacred is about to be shared—when the weight of the moment is felt by both people, heavy with meaning and laced with the vulnerability of first love.

You were both so young, still discovering the world and yourselves, yet in that moment, everything felt beautifully simple. He kissed you again, this time with more confidence but no less care. His touch was light, and reverent, as though he wanted to be sure every movement was one you welcomed.

“I’ve never done this before,” you whispered, your voice soft but steady, your heart racing beneath your skin. There was no shame in the confession, just honesty, the kind you knew you could share with him because Aaron made you feel safe, like there was nothing you couldn’t say.

He pulled back just enough to meet your eyes, his thumb brushing lightly over the back of your hand. 

“Neither have I,” he admitted, his voice low, filled with a tenderness you hadn’t heard from him before. His eyes, normally so guarded, were open—vulnerable in a way that made your heart ache with affection.

He kissed you again, slow and deliberate, and this time, it felt like you were crossing a threshold together, one you both understood was important. There was no rush, no urgency—just the two of you, wrapped in the quiet wonder of the moment. His hands traced the outline of your skin with a gentle reverence, as if he was trying to memorize every curve, every inch, not for possession, but for the deep respect he held for you.

When the time came, it wasn’t rushed or uncertain. It felt natural, like an unspoken promise made long before this night. Aaron moved with the same care he’d shown you in every other moment—thoughtful, kind, attuned to you in a way that made you feel like he was giving you all of him, not just physically, but in every sense.

There was no awkwardness, no fear—just warmth and quiet intimacy. Every touch, every soft sigh between you felt like a conversation, like a love letter written in the language of gentle movements and shared breath. It was the kind of first time you always hoped it would be—filled with tenderness and respect, with Aaron looking at you as if he couldn’t believe you were real, as if he couldn’t believe how lucky he was to share this moment with you.

When it was over, he didn’t pull away. Instead, he held you close, your bodies tangled together, his forehead resting against yours, his breath soft against your skin. The silence between you was comfortable, filled with the kind of peace that comes from knowing you’d just shared something sacred.

“I’m glad it was you,” he whispered, his voice barely audible, but filled with a quiet certainty that made your heart swell.

You smiled, your fingers gently tracing the line of his jaw. “Me too,” you replied, and at that moment, you knew—no matter where life took you, this night would always be something you carried with you. Not because it was perfect, but because it was real. 

But even in those moments, when it felt like it was just the two of you against the world, you could see the shadows that lingered in his eyes. 

Traces of Haley, the girl who had once been his entire world, the love he wasn’t sure he could ever let go of. He tried to hide it, but you knew him too well. You saw the flicker of doubt, the unresolved feelings that haunted him.

One evening, as you both sat on the steps of the library, your fingers still intertwined, you knew you couldn’t ignore the truth any longer. You turned to him, taking a deep breath to steady yourself. 

“Aaron,” you said gently, your voice tinged with a sadness you couldn’t quite hide, “I need to know that you’re sure about this—about us.”

He blinked, his brow furrowing slightly as he looked at you, confusion and fear flickering across his face. 

“What do you mean?” he asked, his voice barely more than a whisper. “I’m here with you, aren’t I?”

You forced a smile, trying to be brave even as your heart felt like it was breaking. “I know you’re here,” you said, squeezing his hand. “But I also know that part of you is still with her—with Haley. And I don’t think I can keep doing this if you’re not completely sure.”

He opened his mouth to protest, but you gently placed a finger against his lips, stopping him. 

“You deserve clarity, Aaron,” you said softly. “And I deserve someone who’s all in—someone who isn’t torn between two loves.”

His eyes filled with something that looked like pain, like he knew you were right but didn’t want to admit it. He reached up to hold your face in his hands, his touch trembling slightly. 

He sat silently for a moment, his fingers brushing over yours in a quiet, subtle gesture. There was no outpouring of emotion—only the weight of unspoken words hanging in the air between you. His gaze dropped to the ground, jaw tightening slightly as if he were battling something deep inside.

“I’m not good at this,” he said quietly, voice low and measured. His eyes flicked up to meet yours, steady but guarded, the calmness in his tone hiding the storm within. “I never have been.”

You held your breath, waiting. He didn’t pull you closer, didn’t let his voice betray the depth of whatever he was feeling. Instead, he allowed a small, rare vulnerability to slip through, in the only way Aaron Hotchner ever would.

“I made choices,” he continued, his voice carrying a quiet resignation. “And I’ll always stand by them.”

There was a pause, heavy with the years of unspoken history. His eyes softened, but his words were deliberate, cautious, as though each one had been carefully chosen before he spoke.

“But there are moments,” he admitted, barely above a whisper, “when I think about the path I didn’t take.”

The confession was understated—so much so that you almost missed it. But the weight of it was unmistakable. He didn’t need to elaborate. In his world, actions and silence often spoke louder than words.

You felt the familiar ache settle in your chest, knowing how difficult it was for him to even hint at such a thing. He wasn’t asking for forgiveness, nor was he asking for anything at all. This was Aaron’s way of telling you the truth, as much as he ever could, without unraveling the layers of control he’d spent a lifetime building.

“I’m not losing you,” you said softly, echoing his restraint. “I just need you to be sure.”

Hotch gave the smallest nod, his fingers brushing yours one last time before he let his hand fall away. He didn’t argue, didn’t try to convince you otherwise. It wasn’t in his nature to ask for what he thought he couldn’t have.

“Take care of yourself,” he said quietly, the walls slowly coming back up. And then, without another word, he stood, leaving behind only the lingering sense of something left unsaid.

Time flew by, but it also remained very still. 

Aaron sat at his dorm desk, the bright glow of the bulky computer monitor reflected back at him. His finger hovered over the “send” button on an email he had drafted to you—an apology, a confession, something to explain why he had been distant these past few weeks. But the words felt hollow, weighed down by a decision he wasn’t even sure he had made yet. 

The memory of late nights with you, laughing and sharing secrets, tugged at his mind, but it was Haley’s voice he heard on the phone, her quiet concern as she asked when he’d be home for the weekend.

He ran a hand through his hair, closing his eyes. The truth was, he didn’t know how to do this—how to love two people at once, how to give pieces of himself when all he ever knew was how to give everything. 

With you, things were easy, and natural, but Haley was his anchor. She had been with him through every transition, every change, and she made sense in a way that was rooted in the stability he so desperately needed. She was safe, familiar. And in the midst of law school deadlines and the ever-present pressure of his father’s expectations, safety was all he could cling to.

In the end, it wasn’t just about Haley. It was about the life he was building—one with clear lines and fewer unknowns. 

The future with her was already mapped out, and his career was beginning to demand more of him. With each step he took toward becoming the man everyone expected him to be, the further you seemed to slip away, like a path he couldn’t walk anymore. 

So, he stayed with Haley, not because the choice was easy, but because it was necessary.

As the years passed, you poured yourself into your medical career, using the long hours and the intensity of trauma surgery to distract from the parts of your life that felt unfinished. The grueling schedule left little time for anything else, and that was just the way you preferred it. 

Each day in the hospital was a whirlwind of emergencies—broken bones, life-threatening injuries, and critical surgeries that demanded your full attention. 

The moments of quiet reflection, where Aaron’s face would drift into your thoughts, were few and fleeting, quickly swallowed by the next crisis. 

Your dedication earned you respect among your colleagues, promotions you hadn’t even sought, but with every success, there was a growing realization that you had built this life to keep yourself too busy to remember the one you left behind.

There was a fire lit under you, one that the long hours and, at-times, gruesome themes of your day seemed to fuel. There was an intensity in your line of work, one that you knew if Aaron was still a part of your life, would understand and want to soak up every aspect of each detail.

You would occasionally bump into each other over the years—at alumni events, around town, or at the rare social gathering you both happened to attend. The encounters were always polite, your smiles a little too tight, the conversations clipped and guarded. 

You both kept it surface-level, never daring to dig deeper into what you truly wanted to say. You’d ask how each other’s studies were going and exchange updates about life, but never once did you talk about what had happened between you, about the unspoken feelings that still seemed to linger in the air. Haley often would be by his side, you could tell she was supportive of his dreams and choices. 

The hardest moment was one evening at a crowded bar, the air buzzing with laughter and clinking glasses. You were there with friends, trying to unwind after a long week, when you saw Aaron walk in. 

For a split second, your heart leapt at the sight of him—until you noticed Haley by his side, her arm looped casually through his, her smile bright and untroubled. The sight of them together was like a punch to the gut, a sharp reminder of the choice you’d made to let him go.

What ached even more was the glint of matching gold bands on each of their ring fingers. It felt… final. The kind of final that left no room for second chances or what-ifs. You couldn’t help but think about the moments you’d shared with Aaron—the late-night conversations, the way he used to look at you like you were his safe harbor in the storm of his messy life. And now, here he was, seemingly settled, with someone else wearing the title you’d never been brave enough to claim.

Before you could make a quiet escape, they spotted you. Aaron’s eyes met yours across the room, widening slightly in surprise, and then he offered you that familiar smile—a smile that was polite and practiced but carried a hint of something you couldn’t quite read. Regret, maybe. Or a sadness that neither of you would ever speak aloud.

“Y/N, it’s so great to see you!” Haley said warmly, her voice genuine and open. She didn’t know, of course—didn’t know about the brief, intense history you’d shared with Aaron, didn’t know how much seeing them together was breaking your heart all over again.

You exchanged pleasantries, smiling and nodding at the right moments, trying to keep your composure even as your insides twisted into knots. Aaron’s smile was there, polite and distant, but in his eyes, you saw something different—a flicker of the past, a glimpse of the man who had once held your hand like he was afraid to let go. He looked like he wanted to say something, like there were words caught on the edge of his tongue that he couldn’t let fall in front of Haley.

Haley, ever the gracious host of the moment, excused herself to grab their drinks from the bar, leaving you alone with Aaron for a brief, excruciating moment. The noise of the bar seemed to fade, leaving just the two of you in this small, fragile bubble of shared history.

Aaron’s gaze held yours for a second longer than it should have, his expression softening as if he were letting his guard down, if only for a heartbeat. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but then he hesitated, his jaw tensing slightly. It was as if every word he wanted to say had gotten tangled in the space between his heart and his voice.

“It’s good to see you, Y/N,” he finally said, his voice almost a whisper. There was a distance in his tone, but also a trace of something he couldn’t quite hide—something raw, something aching. “You look… happy.”

You swallowed the lump in your throat, forcing a smile that didn’t reach your eyes. 

“You too, Aaron,” you said, your voice faltering just a little. “You and Haley… you look perfect together.”

He didn’t say anything, just gave a small nod, the corners of his mouth twitching as if he wanted to protest, to say something real, something that wasn’t covered in layers of politeness. But instead, he just stood there, looking at you with eyes that seemed to carry the weight of everything left unspoken.

Haley returned with their drinks, her presence snapping Aaron back to the moment. He turned to her, his expression shifting instantly to something softer, more familiar—a version of himself that you hadn’t seen in a long time. As they walked away, laughing at something she said, you felt the sharp pang of regret settle deep in your chest. You couldn’t help but wonder—did you make a mistake all those years ago? Letting him go when you still had so much left to say?

Later that evening, in the quiet of their home, Haley turned to Aaron as they got ready for bed. Her smile from earlier had faded slightly, replaced by a hint of uncertainty that she tried to mask with a casual tone.

"She’s really beautiful, you know," Haley said, her voice light but carrying an edge that Aaron didn’t miss. She was sitting on the edge of the bed, her hands clasped in her lap, her gaze fixed on him as he unbuttoned his shirt.

Aaron paused, his movements slowing as he met Haley’s eyes. “Who?” he asked, though he knew exactly who she was talking about.

“Y/N,” Haley said, her voice a touch sharper now. “You two seemed close tonight. It was... almost like I was interrupting something.”

He let out a small sigh, more to himself than to her, and sat down next to her, his hands resting on his knees. "Haley," he started gently, “it’s not like that anymore. We’re just old friends.”

Haley turned to face him, her expression a mix of vulnerability and something else—fear, maybe, or insecurity. 

“Old friends?” she repeated, her voice barely masking the doubt. “Aaron, the way she looked at you—it didn’t seem like just ‘old friends.’ And I know you, Aaron. I know when you’re holding back.”

Aaron didn’t answer right away. He looked down at his hands, the silence between them heavy and complicated. He’d thought about this moment before wondered what it would be like to confront these feelings. 

“We had a past,” he admitted quietly, finally looking back at Haley. “She was important to me, and part of me never really let that go. But I chose you, Haley. I always chose you.”

Haley’s eyes softened for a moment, but there was still a flicker of pain in them, a hint of doubt that wouldn’t quite fade. “I always felt like I was competing with her, even when she wasn’t there,” Haley said, her voice quieter, more vulnerable. “Like you were with me because it was easy and safe, but with her... with her, it would’ve been something else.”

Aaron didn’t deny it; he couldn’t. He reached out and took her hand, holding it firmly. 

“You were never second best to me, Haley,” he said, his voice steady and sincere. “But back then, I wished—part of me wished she’d fought harder. I might have chosen differently if she’d asked me to. If she’d really asked me to stay,” Aaron paused, “But it never would have worked…it would have been a rash--impractical choice.”

Haley looked at him, a mixture of relief and hurt crossing her features, her grip tightening on his hand, like she was afraid to let go. 

And in that moment, Aaron knew that while he had chosen Haley, a part of him would always be haunted by the path he didn’t take, the one where you had asked him to choose you. And he would always wonder if you were the love that got away.

Years later, you found yourself deep into your medical internship, pulling grueling shifts at the hospital that left you bone-tired but determined. 

The last thing you expected was to cross paths with Aaron Hotchner again, especially on a day as monumental as the birth of his child.

You were on your way to check on another patient when you noticed a familiar figure pacing outside one of the maternity rooms. It was Aaron, but not as you remembered him. 

He looked different—older, more tired, but also lit up from within like he was holding the entire universe in his hands. His hair was slightly disheveled, and his tie was loosened around his neck, but there was a brightness in his eyes that you hadn't seen in years.

He stopped short when he saw you, his face a mix of exhaustion, surprise, and something softer—like he was relieved to see a familiar face in the chaos of the moment.

"Y/N?" he said, almost as if he couldn’t believe you were standing there.

“Aaron,” you said, offering him a gentle smile. 

The last time you’d seen him was under such different circumstances, and now here he was, a thousand emotions flickering across his face.

He let out a shaky breath, his eyes searching yours as if he needed to anchor himself to something real. 

“Haley just had the baby,” he said, his voice filled with awe and a hint of disbelief, as though he was still trying to wrap his mind around it. "It's a boy. His name's Jack."

Your heart softened at the mention of Jack, imagining Aaron as a father, this new role that seemed to suit him so perfectly. You knew how much he’d always wanted a family, how much he valued loyalty and protection, and now he had both those things wrapped up in this tiny new life.

A genuine smile spread across your face despite the tightness in your chest. “Congratulations, Aaron,” you said, your voice warm and sincere. “How’s Haley? How’s Jack?”

“They’re both perfect,” he said, but even as he said the words, you could see the turmoil beneath the surface—the way his mind was racing, already thinking of everything he needed to do to be the best husband and father he could be. He was still Aaron, always planning ahead, always trying to protect those he loved.

Without thinking, you stepped forward and wrapped your arms around him in a gentle hug. For a split second, you worried he might pull away, but instead, he let out a shaky breath and wrapped his arms around you, holding you tightly. 

His grip was firm, like he needed this moment of connection as much as you did, like he was drawing strength from the familiarity of your embrace.

“You’re going to be a great dad, Aaron,” you whispered softly against his shoulder. “Jack’s so lucky to have you.”

He held you for a moment longer, and you felt the way his shoulders relaxed, just a bit, as if the weight of the world on them had lightened for a second. 

When he finally pulled back, he didn’t let go immediately. His hands lingered on your arms, his eyes locked onto yours, and there was something in his gaze that made your breath catch—a mix of gratitude, vulnerability, and something unspoken that neither of you dared to voice.

“Thank you, Y/N,” he said quietly, his voice thick with emotion. He looked at you like he was memorizing the moment, like he didn’t want to forget the way it felt to have you close again.

You gave him a small, sad smile as he finally let his hands drop, the connection between you two still lingering in the air. For a moment, it felt like no time had passed, like you were the only two people in the world standing in that hospital corridor.

“I need to get back to them,” he said, his tone shifting instantly to the steady, composed one you were so familiar with. “Haley and Jack are waiting.”

The moment was gone, and his focus had returned to where it always was—his family. Even as you offered him a small smile, knowing that this was the man he had become, you could see that his world revolved around something far more important than any lingering emotions between you two.

He gave you a nod, something unspoken passing between you—an acknowledgment of the past, but nothing that could shift the priorities of the present. Without another word, he turned and left, his strides purposeful as he made his way back to his family, to the life he had chosen to protect above all else.

As you watched him walk away, you couldn’t help but admire how effortlessly he slipped back into his role—the one that mattered most. Aaron Hotchner wasn’t a man to be distracted, not when it came to the people who depended on him the most.

As you stood in that empty corridor, you tried to tell yourself that letting him go all those years ago had been the right choice—that he was exactly where he needed to be, with the family he’d always dreamed of. But even as you reminded yourself of that, you couldn’t shake the feeling of bittersweet longing, the ache of knowing that sometimes, the right choices still hurt the most.

A few days later, after yet another long shift at the hospital, you found yourself alone in the on-call room, your mind still buzzing with the image of Aaron holding his newborn son. The way he looked at you, the way his touch lingered—it all played on a loop in your head, refusing to let you rest.

Before you could talk yourself out of it, you powered on your computer and began typing. You weren’t sure what you hoped to accomplish by reaching out to him, but the words poured out of you as if they’d been waiting all this time.

To: aaron.hotchner@fbi.gov Subject: It Was Good to See You

Hi Aaron,

I know it's been a while since we last spoke, but seeing you at the hospital the other day brought back a lot of memories. I just wanted to say that I'm so happy for you and Haley. Jack is lucky to have you as his dad—I always knew you’d be incredible at that.

I’m not really sure what I’m trying to say here, or why I’m even writing this, to be honest. Maybe it’s just that seeing you again reminded me of a time when things were simpler, or maybe I just wanted to reach out because I didn’t get the chance to say everything I wanted to that day.

I know our lives took us in different directions, and I’m glad you’ve found so much joy with your family. But I guess a part of me will always wonder what might have been if things had turned out differently.

Anyway, I hope you’re doing well, and that fatherhood is everything you hoped it would be. I won’t keep you, I just—well, I just wanted to let you know that I’m really glad we crossed paths again, even for a moment.

Take care, Aaron.

Best, Y/N

You hesitated for a long moment, staring at the words you’d typed, debating whether to hit send. There was a part of you that was terrified of what this email might mean—how it might complicate things, reopen old wounds that had never fully healed. But there was another part of you, the part that had seen that familiar look in Aaron's eyes at the hospital, that knew you couldn’t keep silent any longer.

With a deep breath and a leap of faith, you clicked "send" before you could second-guess yourself. As the email disappeared from your screen, you felt a strange mix of relief and vulnerability wash over you, like you’d just opened a door you weren’t sure you were ready to walk through.

You didn’t know how Aaron would react when he saw your name in his inbox, or if he’d even reply at all. But you knew that at that moment, you couldn’t hold back anymore. You had to reach out, even if it was just to say that you hadn’t forgotten, that you never really let go.

What you didn’t know was that when Aaron read your message later that night, sitting alone in his dimly lit office, the weight of your words hit him harder than he expected. He read each line with a mix of longing and regret, feeling the past rush back to him in a way that made his chest tighten.

He wanted to respond, to tell you that seeing you again had stirred up all the emotions he’d buried for the sake of moving forward. But he hesitated, his fingers hovering over the keyboard, because he wasn’t sure he could say what he really felt—not when his life was still so complicated, still so tied to the promises he’d made to Haley and Jack.

There was a part of him that completely shamed himself for even wanting to keep the door open with you. It was not if he was still waiting by the open entryway, but something was comforting knowing it was ajar. 

But he knew one thing for certain: seeing you at the hospital that day had made him realize that some doors never really close. And no matter how far life pulled you both apart, there was always a part of him that would find its way back to you.

And so he saved your email, tucked it away in the corner of his heart where he kept all the things he wasn’t ready to face. But he kept it, just like he kept that old photo of you two on his bookshelf at the BAU—a reminder of the love that never really went away.

And though he didn’t reply, he knew, deep down, that one day he would. He had to.

Because this time, he didn’t want to let you go.

Time passed and you’d finally established yourself as a respected doctor, life had taken you far from the familiar places where you and Aaron once crossed paths. 

You were working at a renowned hospital across the country, building your career in a place far from the echoes of your shared past. You'd settled into this new life, convincing yourself that the memories of Aaron Hotchner were just that—memories locked away in a chapter you’d closed long ago.

But late at night, when the world was quiet, and you found yourself alone with a few too many glasses of wine, the memories would come rushing back. 

You’d think about Aaron—about the way he used to smile at you, the warmth of his touch, the late-night conversations that felt like they could change everything. You’d wonder where he was and what he was doing if he ever thought of you the way you still thought of him--why he never answered your email.

In those moments, you couldn’t help but feel like the universe had let something slip through your fingers, like you’d lost a piece of yourself you could never entirely replace.

It had only been a few months since his divorce was finalized, but Aaron Hotchner’s mind wasn’t just on the past he’d left behind with Haley. It was on you—the email you’d sent, the memories that kept resurfacing late at night when the world went quiet.

One evening, after hours at the BAU, Hotch found himself in Garcia’s tech-filled lair. She looked up, surprised to see him, especially at that hour.

“Sir?” she asked, her cheerful tone softening as she picked up on his serious demeanor.

He hesitated, fingers tapping lightly on the edge of her desk. “Garcia... could you look someone up for me?”

Garcia blinked, her curiosity piqued. “Of course. Just name the person.”

"Y/N L/N," he said quietly, the name falling softly from his lips. “We went to college together. I’m just... curious where she is now.”

Garcia’s hands hovered over the keyboard, her usual enthusiasm tempered by the weight of his request. She could tell from his tone that this wasn’t a casual inquiry. “Got it, sir,” she said, quickly typing the name into her system. “What do you want to know?”

“Just... how she’s doing.” His voice was quieter than usual, laced with an undercurrent that hinted at more than mere curiosity.

A few moments passed as Garcia sifted through information, her screens flashing with data. After a beat, she spoke, her voice soft, almost hesitant. “Looks like she’s doing really well, actually. She’s a doctor now. Trauma surgeon. She’s worked at some big hospitals.” 

Hotch’s eyes flickered, something tightening in his chest. You were no longer close by--off across the country, living a completely separate life. One he was fully realizing he knew nothing about. 

Garcia continued, sensing the weight of her words. “No social networking accounts, but a few mentions in medical journals and hospital reports. Seems like she’s been doing some important work. Looks like she’s running the show over there.”

Hotch nodded, trying to process the flood of information. A part of him felt a strange sense of pride at how far you’d come, but there was also a quiet ache—a reminder of how much time had passed, how much you’d both changed.

Garcia glanced up, watching him closely. “I could dig deeper if you want,” she offered gently, unsure if she should ask more.

“No,” Hotch said quickly, shaking his head. “That’s enough. Thank you, Garcia.”

As he turned to leave, Garcia watched him, biting back the questions swirling in her mind. She’d never seen Hotch so affected by a simple request. Whatever history the two of you shared, it was clear it still lingered in the quiet corners of his life.

“Sir,” she called after him, her voice softer than usual. “If you ever need to talk about it... you know where to find me.”

Hotch gave her a small nod, acknowledging her kindness but not yet ready to let his guard down. “Thanks, Garcia.”

As he walked away, he couldn’t shake the thoughts of you from his mind. You were close—closer than he’d ever imagined—and yet, the years between you felt like a chasm he wasn’t sure how to cross.

It was a cold, rainy afternoon when he walked into your life again. You were deep into your rounds when you saw him standing at the end of the hall—tall, composed, his FBI badge clipped to his belt and his expression sharp with focus. 

He looked different now—older, more world-weary, with a gravity about him that spoke of everything he’d seen, everything he’d endured. He’d been through a divorce; you knew that much. You'd heard whispers about it through mutual acquaintances, the news traveling back to you like a ghost from the past.

He was there to interview one of your patients, a victim in a high-stakes investigation, the kind of case that left a wake of devastation. 

You watched as he spoke to his team, his words calm and precise, every movement controlled. But then his gaze shifted, and when his eyes met yours, something in his expression softened. 

For a moment, it was like you were back in college again—two people who once knew every secret of each other’s hearts.

“Y/N,” he said, the sound of your name on his lips pulling you out of the haze of memory. There was a flicker of something in his eyes—surprise, relief, and a warmth that chased away the storm clouds that seemed to follow him everywhere.

“Aaron,” you replied, a soft smile tugging at the corners of your mouth. “What brings you to this side of the country?”

He let out a small, almost rueful laugh, a sound you hadn’t heard in years. “Work, as always,” he said, a hint of resignation in his voice. “Seems like it never stops.”

You nodded, searching his face for traces of the man you used to know. “You look... different,” you said softly. “Older. Tired, maybe. But it suits you.”

He raised an eyebrow, a ghost of a smile playing on his lips. “That’s not exactly a compliment, but I’ll take it,” he teased, his eyes twinkling with the faintest hint of mischief. Then, more seriously, he added, “You, on the other hand, look exactly the same. Like time hasn't touched you at all.”

A small laugh escaped your lips, and for a second, the years seemed to fall away. 

“You always were a terrible liar,” you said, shaking your head slightly, but there was a softness in your voice that hinted at something more—something neither of you was quite ready to name.

There was a moment of silence between you, the kind that was heavy with words left unsaid. He looked like he wanted to say something, to bridge the gap between the person he was now and the person he used to be when he was with you. But then, just like always, duty called, and he had to turn back to the demands of the case.

When the investigation finally wrapped up, you found yourself alone in the break room, the hum of the vending machine the only sound in the otherwise quiet space. You were reaching for a cup of coffee when you saw it—Aaron’s business card tucked carefully under your mug. 

His number was scribbled on the back in neat handwriting, with a simple note: Call me sometime if you want to catch up. –Aaron

You stared at the card for a long time, tracing the letters of his name with your fingertips, the feel of the paper grounding you in a reality you hadn’t quite expected. Your mind was a whirl of memories—of late-night study sessions, of the way his hand felt when it held yours, of every stolen glance and every smile that hinted at something just out of reach.

You felt a pang in your chest, a longing you’d tried to bury long ago but was now resurfacing with a vengeance. You knew that if you called him, it wouldn’t just be about catching up. It would be about opening doors that you thought you’d closed for good. It would be about facing the fact that, even after all these years and all the distance between you, some part of you had never really let him go.

As you slipped the card into your pocket, you felt a mix of hope and fear, like standing on the edge of a cliff, knowing that if you jumped, there’d be no going back. You looked down at the number, knowing that one call could change everything, that this could be the start of something or the end of whatever you’d been holding onto all these years.

Before you could overthink it, the door to the break room opened, and Aaron walked in, his eyes locking onto yours like he was searching for something—some kind of answer.

“I didn’t want to leave without saying goodbye,” he said quietly, his voice low and intimate in the small space. He stepped closer, his gaze never leaving your face. “I meant it, you know. About calling me.”

You hesitated for a moment, your heart pounding in your chest. “You think about the past often?” you asked, your voice gentle but with an edge of vulnerability you couldn’t quite hide.

He looked at you, the kind of look that seemed to strip away all the years, all the distance between you. “More than I probably should,” he admitted, his voice a little rough around the edges. “I think about you more than I should.” His words were simple, but the intensity behind them was anything but.

You felt your breath hitch, your pulse quickening at the confession. The yearning in his eyes was unmistakable, a mirror of your own feelings that you’d been too afraid to voice. And in that moment, you both knew that this wasn’t the end—it was just the beginning of something that had always been waiting for the right moment to come to life.

It was now, when the world was so chatoic for Aaron--Haley and Jack in protective custody and a killer out there tormenting his every move, he could use an anchor like you. He meant every word he said. He wanted you to call. He couldn’t share this information with you, but he hoped this card was the olive branch���the white flag waving for where he couldn’t place words. 

Before he turned to leave, he reached out and gently tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, his touch lingering just a second longer than necessary. 

“Take care, Y/N,” he said softly, and the way he said it felt like a promise, like he was telling you that this wasn’t goodbye, not really.

You watched him walk away, and this time, you felt different. This time, you knew you held his number in your pocket, the promise of a future that might finally align with the pieces of your past.

Tag List:

@zaddyhotch

@estragos

@todorokishoe24

looking1016

@khxna

@rousethemouse

[absolutelynotsanebaby]

okay, so I've seen this sentiment floating around with Morro that there's nothing more to do with him or that his story is entirely done. I disagree and want to share my two cents, but first I want to clarify a couple things. A) he does not have to come back to be a good and worthwhile character and B) I do not think the current conclusion to his character is bad. His story as is, is a tragedy and that's meaningful and C) that I am not trusting unreliable leak sources or 'getting my hopes up'.

Anyways, to say there's nothing to be done with his character is completely wild, and in my opinion a take more formed from fandom negative association than anything based in canon. I think it links back to some people seeing him as irredeemable, or believing without question his 'you can only save those who want to be saved' line. I said it before, but that line doesn't hurt because it's true (you wouldn't believe that with any other characters, why just him?) Morro has a compelling story, and it ends on the note that he can change and right his wrongs (dotd). His conclusion in Possession is sad but good, and his ending in DOTD is at least okay, in my opinion. However, when a character shows clear ability to change and develop, how in the world does that not lend itself to being able to continue his story? He doesn't have to come back, but if he did, there's material to play with. Morro died willingly, in the end, in Possession. I don't understand this idea that it has to cathartic for everyone. What's the crime in someone saying they would be excited or happy to see him again? There's directions to take his story in, and it's not like he's ever going to be anything like a main or strong presence in the show if he ever did come back! Not even the original six ninja are that anymore!

I'm going out on a limb and saying all the people who say Morro shouldn't come back for reasons [x] [y] [z] are going to be the same people who dislike he takes that Harumi shouldn't come back in DR, right? Is it because people think she's irredeemable, or that her story is 'better left done' and it'd be 'bad writing' to bring her back? Be bad for Lloyd? That's what a lot of you sound like to me. Additionally, you're allowed to have your own opinions, obviously but it's getting frustrating to see posts asking people to be less mean about the idea of him coming back filled with tags that go 'and here's why I think he shouldn't come back--' or two mutuals of mine both express the sentiment of pulling back a little from the fandom because of the recent negativity towards Morro. To be honest, sometimes it feels like a lot of people just groan whenever he's mentioned at all (because of the aforementioned fandom negative association) which, that's obviously going to be discouraging and un-motivating for people who do post a lot about him! Anyways, point is, be nicer and also stop mischaracterizing him because it's cool now or whatever 👍

[rekino2114]

So I’ve recently fallen deeply mad in love with Ena (the blue/yellow polygon gal-) and I can’t stop thinking about her (I won’t apologize for it though she’s amazing and neat-)

If I may, can I ask for Ena x male reader where reader is hard crushing on all forms of Ena and it’s pretty obvious that he loves her, but can’t bring himself to tell her since he doesn’t know how she’ll react

You crushing on ena

Pairing:ena x male reader

A/n:You don't need to apologize. ena is indeed very awesome and cool. Sidenote but I am obsessed with the idea of ena having more forms than the ones we see so I might make a post detailing some fanmade ones I've seen around,with the reader of course let me know if you'd like that

"Come on, dude, just tell her"

"No, who knows what might happen"

You're currently talking to your friend moony about your crush on your mutual friend ena

"The worst she can say is no"

"That's a factually wrong statement for most people, but especially for ena, with how many forms she has, I might get punched in the face or she'll start crying and wallowing in self pity"

"You're such a coward, man"

"Listen, ena is like one the best friends I ever had, I can't risk losing her friendship. She's the best"

"If you don't tell her I will"

"Don't you dare-

You were interrupted by the voice of your crush approaching you

"Ah here are my two bestest friends in the entirety of this digital plane, how are you good chums?"

"Oh hey I-na me and y/n here were talking about you actually"

"Oh is that true? I hope you were spreading good word of me then"

"Oh, trust me, he definitely has~"

"SORRYINEEDTOGOBYE"

You were very embarrassed at the possibility of your crush being revealed and decided to run away from your friends while blushing

"Waaaahh y/n hates me"

Your sudden leave caused ena to glitch and turn into her sad form while crying on the ground

"I can't bwame him, evewyone should hate me, I'm howwible,howwbile, I should just die"

"Geez what a crybaby, y/n loves you like love-loves you"

"*sniffle* w-weally?"

"Yeah, dummy, you didn't know? It's sooooo obvious. He always blushes when he's near you and don't you see how he always comforts whenever you get like this? That's l-o-v-e"

After hearing her friend's words the polygonal girl stood up and went back to her normal form

"Oh such splendid news, I must go confess to y/n this instant"

"Wait, you like him too?"

"Indeed, I have had hidden feelings for him for quite a while. Whenever I'm around him, my face turns pink, and I can't help but want to fill him with compliments and physical contact, at first I didn't know what this feeling was but now I believe it is love"

"Pffffft whatever vena just leave me out of your lovey-dovey loser stuff"

"Do not fret, I will go talk to y/n now. Hopefully, the next time we meet, I will have a romantic partner"

Ena left the scene and practically teleported to where you were sitting, still embarrassed at yourself and a bit angry at moony

"E-ena, I'm really sorry for running away"

"Salutations, my dear companion, do not worry about that. Please don't stand there being unhappy, I have some splendid news I think you'll enjoy hearing"

"What is it?"

" I have an announcement:I.....believe I have feelings for you....feelings of love""

"......really?""

"Precisely, I do, every time I'm near you, I feel something beyond happiness, and with my friend moony's help, I understood that it was love"

"I-i don't know what to say ena, I love you too"

"Oh happy days, might I suggest that we enter a relationship then?"

"Of course I'd love to be your boyfriend"

Ena smiled happily before avoiding your eyes and blushing (she blushes two different colors on her two sides)

"Wonderful......could we perhaps formalize our relationship with a kiss?"

"*giggle* yes if you'd like"

You approached ena's lips and kissed her (I just realized she only has a mouth on her yellow side and doesn't really have lips....uhhh, I dunno I guess you could still kiss her like that, her anatomy is weird anyway it doesn't have to be realistic)

"That felt so so amazing, thank you so much my dear"

"You don't need to thank me, it felt great for me too"

Suddenly, ena hugged you, and you did the same. Despite her polygonal body, she actually felt very soft and nice to lean against, and so you did. You stayed like this enjoying your newfound love with your new girlfriend.

[shmowder]

Ascending is thee greatest compliment I can imagine, wow ♡ I too am ascending, meet me on the astral plane.

The P1 music being good is quite the selling point for me actually! I absolutely adore a good video game soundtrack. There are some songs from P2 that I love, but a lot of unmemorable ones, too. On that note, are there any songs or albums that you associate with Pathologic? Over the past few days, Shrines by Purity Ring has become this for me. Grandloves is a Victor song and Cartographist is a Yulia song... maybe because of the name. I also really heavily associate that whole album with Silent Hill 3 for some reason.

I love the little divorcing Yulia drabble omg. "Why bother honey? Just come back to bed." Like ok. I suppose I will. *does my best impression of that gif of Tigger walking away dejectedly* And the divorcing Eva one is funny.

Out of everyone, Yulia is actually the one I have the most trouble imagining as a yandere. She's so gentle and mild-mannered - so I agree with what you said in your other reply. She'd make it so she's the only one who'll be there for you in this sick sad world.

Your yandere thoughts are my yandere thoughts <3 What's better than codependent mutual obsession to the exclusion of everything else... wait, don't answer that. I think I imprinted on the relationship in Hemingway's A Farewell to Arms. "You've such a lovely temperature." "Your blood coagulates beautifully." Would yandere Daniil say those things? Probably not but I'm thinking about it anyway.

Losing my entire MIND over your yandere Victor thoughts and I didn't even send you a request? You're telling me this in casual conversation and I am eating it UP omfl. Ooh thanks for reminding me of that quote. (Would Yulia say it was destiny that I chose to be 🐿️, a prey animal, before these ideas ever existed?) God, how uncomfortable would that be for Khan and Maria. Especially given you're closer to Maria's age than to Victor's.

YOUR WHOLE HEART LAID BARE BEFORE HIM ON A SILVER TRAY! PLEASE why is this reminding me of when you said "dissect and break her down to use for their own biddings" from your post on the Kains obeying the laws of nature. The lyric "I'll stake rare toothpicks in my dirt filled heart / meander the sacred lot of you in every season" from Grandloves by Purity Ring. Are these like the Lines that the kin talked about?? Not to sound like an insane person but I always imagined that letting someone get to know you, really really know you and the entirety of your ugly soul, is like being peeled. Ripping all your skin off and being so vulnerable. And for someone to want anything to do with you after that? [disintegrates]

More overprotective yandere Victor thoughts I had while doing the dishes earlier in this mcfreaking humidity (before I read most of your reply): not a big gift giver but will make dove-themed things for you or have them made for you. A cuckoo clock, a music box. You're the proverbial bird in the gilded cage. Spoils you in the sense of not having to do small labors/chores - even if you want to do the dishes, well guess what, that's someone else's job. (Perhaps this was wish fulfillment while doing the dishes).

Idk where him randomly ignoring occasionally came from tbh, but oddly I feel it's specific to him as a yandere only. Perhaps he has flashes of self-awareness - is he being overbearing? He's giving you some time to yourself! But the townspeople are so chilly - they're polite to you, but you won't find any warmth or companionship there. There isn't anywhere else you belong. Will solicit your opinion on intellectual pursuits but will only use and credit your small ideas. Will twist your big ideas & won't publicly credit you for them; will have a convincing and perfectly rational reason for not doing so that he explains gently to you. But truthfully, it wouldn't do for you to be getting *too* much of the townspeople's attention, and god forbid you start thinking you can make something of yourself without him.

I love the contrast of yandere Big Vlad! Yandere Big Vlad my beloved indeed... DON'T MAKE ME HAVE FEELINGS FOR BIG VLAD PLEASE 🫣 Ngl the #1 quality that the fictional men I would bang (though there are not many) have in common is Being a Widower 😭 Gosh the glorified pet/temptation & sin incarnate/prince/princess paragraph is good stuff. And Saburov 100% ok with being a cuck lmao

Yandere Aspity - if she falls in love with you then the earth itself would too? That's so cute honestly!! I also really like the second option, "a piece of the earth defying its original self." Neat. I saw bits and pieces of human kink stuff while looking through your archive at sorcerous-caress. It's interesting to think about, though difficult to wrap my head around another species seeing humans as "other" and exotic haha

We haven't mentioned yandere Aglaya yet. I haven't progressed past day 7 yet so there's some context I need to refresh myself on probably. But I think yandere Aglaya is overprotective and isolating as well. It's for your own good and one day you'll understand. She wants to save you! She'll take you far away from here and build the two of you a little nest and you'll be so safe and happy. You're the only one she can be her true self around, the only one she can bear her soul to.

-

Ex-husband Artemy was great and and I'm completely sold on aroallo Artemy :) For him to give you a kiss without being drenched in the smell of post-surgery blood? lolllllll Not to butter you up even more (jk I am happy to do this) but you can get me to read x readers for characters I don't wish to know carnally and that's not typical of me. It helps that the characters are all really interesting, but the way you write them definitely helps too 🫡🫡

Thanks for letting me be a silly goose on your blog!! And for all your sweet comments. I have the same worry about repeating myself, oh well. But you make me feel comfortable being a little deranged on here. As always, take all the time you need to respond.

🐿️ anon

Hmm songs I associate with Pathologic

There is one! but it's in Arabic "مطلوب زعيم - كاريوكي" It talks about leaders or governments in general betraying its people and how those people still fought to survive despite it all. Despite the leaders they entrusted throwing them to the wolves. The song describes wanting a righteous leader that can hear their (town) heartbeat (literally the lyrics which fit too well) A leader that doesn't live in castles when a portion of their people live in houses akin to graves (again pathologic lore)

The Kains, the Olgimskays and even the law obiding Saburov all used the plague to try and gain more power, to prove that their way of thinking and living is superior. They didn't help people just for the sake of helping them or combating the plague, no they wanted something out of it. They derailed the healers progress and made everything way harder for everyone.

Oh and my favourite Pathologic 2 OST is Twyrin. Yeah it's on the shorter side but god is it so iconic? OF FUCKING COURSE ANDREY STAMATIN GETS THE BEST MUSIC IN THE GAME >:(

While in Pathologic Classic HD it's Utroba Disease

I also love the character specific music? Like the Haruspex Lair theme, because it embodies him in a way! It's an impressive feat to merely use music alone without lyrics to tell a story or communicate a certain vibe, but god does P2 and P1 achieve it seamlessly.

Take the soundtrack Warehouse-Rubin for example and how it starts so quietly, building up ever so slowly that the silence itself merges with the music notes.

Like an ever growing shadow in the corner of your vision, it's hard to spot and you forget about it immediately after looking away.

But then. Oh but then.

Insanity spiral. A painfully sharp high pitched sound pierces your eardrumns, akin to a human scream muffled by the beat, a symphony of agony, a tortured soul crawling out of the grave to give one final scream with the last of its breath.

Lastly, it stops. The screeching of the record follows, someone choking on air, or regaining their breath.

The curtains are drawn back, and Rubin puts his gaurd up again.

There are so many beautiful ones too that tell a tale with just their title. Painting a melancholic picture.

The Haruspex is all alone

The music itself feels as if it's making fun of him while letting him wallow in his sadness. Cruelly taunting him and breaking his already bruised heart into a million pieces. Not even giving him the courtesy to lick his own wounds or mourn what he has lost.

The Bachelor learns

Starts with one instrument, and then gradually, more and more are added, as if every new sound is a puzzle piece that the Bachelor is putting back into place. Slowly making progress until a whole symphony is formed when all he had at the start was one single note, sounding like the bells of a clock.

The Changeling sneaks into the Stamatins loft

The suspension! The thrill in every note, building you up before letting you fall when it suddenly pauses. You can't be discovered, someone is nearby, you need to be cautious. Hold your breath, steady your feet, and don't step on the creaking wooden boards. After the excitement dies down, you're given a steady rhythmic beat that guides your foosteps. The sound of someone taking a short breath is incorporated into the notes, even the breath in your lungs need to follow the beat and blend in

I'm glad you liked the Yulia divorce hc lmao. I feel like whatever worst case scenario possible there is, Yulia already thought of it and not only that but spent restless nights imagining the divorce before the two of you even got married?

So when it arrives she is prepared, doesn't even bat an eye. And her casual approach makes you doubt yourself out of sheer shock? Like huh, maybe divorce is really not a big deal... yk what sure I'll stick around for a little bit longer, scoot over.

The biggest flaw in Yulia's design is that even if she had those yandere urges, would she bother acting out on them? Suddenly, her fatalism becomes a beneficial trait. Gentleness goes a long way more than possessiveness ever does.

Yandere Yulia would rather reel you in slowly, be as soft as a breeze of air. You could spend your whole life together and never be aware of the unhinged thoughts going through her brain at all times.

She is easily content and doesn't demand a lot. Probably one of the safest bets in terms of yanderes. She doesn't isolate you or try to hold power of you. While eats her up at night that you might leave or find someone else, those feelings aren't new to her, she had a similar crisis about the thought of the world ending last month.

By being unstable and unhinhed naturally, the yandere thoughts perfectly blend within her inner world and all that comes out is the same mild-mannered Yulia you've known.

And oh 👀 those are amazing lines for Yandere Daniil. Honestly he'd be as intense as a storm, you'll be constantly prodded and questioned as if you're the greatest enigma he has ever seen.

It'd would annoy him so much that he can't understand why he is so obsessed with you. He NEEDS to know. Why is everything about you so special? Why is the colour of your blood the most beautiful red he has ever seen? Why are your pupils the loveliest black there is? Why are you so intoxicating and magnetic?

If that was before getting together, he'd notice some unhinged comments slipping his lips every now and then while everything else seems to be as business usual.

And omfg yes everything you said about Yandere Victor is so true.

He wants you to think he is on your side, that he could never be anything but supportive and kind. That the idea of him purposely sabotaging your attempts to have anything that doesn't involve him is silly and you're overworked, sweetheart.

He babies you intentionally so you forget how to fly. The townfolks are nice and chill to you no matter what so you never have to put in effort in socialising and therefore will never develop any meaningful relationships or build a support system besides him.

It's like being suffocated by a feather pillow. Victor can't possibly be stealing your ideas if he credited you for the small ones and makes such a big deal of mentioning that it was you who picked the colours for the townshall new curtains.

So how come he stops at that and doesn't even bring up the new laws you proposed adding or public wellfare plans you worked hard on?

Coincidentally, the next month, people stop you in the streets to sing the praises of your husband for coming up with such a brilliant plan for aiding people struggling with income. A plan that suspiciously sounds similar to your own papers left collecting dust in one of the locked drawers in his desk.

Except it's just different enough that you feel doubtful it was on purpose. Remembering his words, how silly of an idea this even is. Yeah... you're probably just need some rest. Victor is a genius, what would he ever copy your papers for? You need to have more faith in your husband.

Until one day you'll wake up and realise you've completely forgotten how to fly, that the wings weighted heavy by your sides. How kind is it of your husband to offer to pluck some of the feathers off and relief you from the burden of thinking or working? Even simple tasks are too much. No, leave the dishes. That's someone else's job, dove.

oh god Yandere Aglaya is a special case. Because she is a meta character, she knows about the 4th wall (in a way) That makes her so much more dangerous.

And 👀 She can fall for the player, becoming a yandere for this force controlling the healers around.

Aglaya knows she is a doll and thinks you are a doll, too. She knows this is just a game played by kids, that nothing really matters. No one is really alive.

So it's completely morally justified in her views to take you for her own. I mean, she is THE inquisitor and her word is law. She is the one who orders the destruction of the polyhedron, you think she can't simply order you to be her spouse?

But Aglaya wouldn't take stoop that low, it's also tiresome to constantly throw her weight and power around. Instead, she will tell you about the bleak reality you're living in and how everyone and everything in your life is a lie.

Did it break your mind? Good, stay with her then. It will be extremely easy to nudge you along.

Did it not? ...that is strange. Explain yourself. Now.

Are you that apathetic? or are you too stupid to comprehend her words? Which one is it?

...oh, you don't care because the love you feel is real even if the people are not?

You've spelled your doom with that sentence, she is hooked. All her life she has been the only one with free will, in all her years of living she has never ever met another person who is aware of the truth of this universe without having gone insane.

But you stood your grounds.

Yandere Aglaya doesn't beat around the bush, she doesn't play mind games nor manipulate you.

She puts all her cards on the table, shows you ever single one. Explains herself fully and make her intentions clear.

She is not letting you go, you cannot run far enough. She has you corner on this chessboard, what is your move?

Be with her and she will make your life heaven. You don't have to do anything you don't want to, she won't force you. She just needs you around like her body needs oxygen to stay alive. She will provide you with anything you dream of, she will use her powers to shield you. Even in the worst case scenario where whe she is stripped of her inquisitor powers, she will find a way somehow to make sure no harm befalls you.

Aglaya is very direct. She doesn't lie, but... she has a tendency to conceal the truth. Would you count that as her lying? She doesn't.

But if you call her out on it, she doesn't deny it. If you ask if she's the one who behind why your world is suddenly falling apart, why no one dares look you in the eyes anymore. She will admit it with zero shame.

She doesn't try to paint herself in a tender soft light like Victor, nor does she keep her innermost desires in her brain and only show you gentleness like Yulia.

Aglaya is a constant, she doesn't falter. You can slow her down but never stop her. It's simply a matter of time before she wins.

And really... her feelings are sincere. The way she openly admits her awe when it comes to your mind and heart, the flirtatious poems that smoothly slide off her tongue in an almost jarring scene from the usual icey lips of the steel inquisitor.

She refuses to involve you in her work, they're bad people and will only try to take advantage of you. Everything you are will be broken down then stiched together to fit their views.

But she lets you fly freely instead of caging you in. It is your freedom she fell in love with after all. All those extreme measures before were just so you'd agree to her proposal, after getting together, Aglaya is more than content and never clingy.

She only asks to see you once a day. The rest is up to you. They are all just dolls in the end. She doesn't even consider them human enough for her to be jealous over.

Aglaya is used to getting results and finding solutions to impossible problems. Why would she ever do something which might harm you or scare you away? that is counterproductive and won't result in you falling in love with her.

Instead, she offers to compromise. You can live your life, have all your friends, and do whatever your heart may desire. As long as she stays a constant in that life, write her letters back and tell her about your days. She genuinely enjoys taking a peak at your mind.

Aglaya is very charming when she wants to. She knows how to read people like the back of her hand. It's easy to figure out what motivates you and what you're attracted to. It's easier for her to dapt those traits and watch you subconsciously seeking her company more. She knows what makes you tick and how to sweep you off your feet.

[uncertainwallflower]

FIC AUTHOR SELF REC Fic authors self-rec! ✨ When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you’ve written, then pass on to at least five other writers ❤️

Thanks for the tag @charmsandtealeaves! Check out Ray's post here.

1 Three Is a Lucky Number, You Know | Words: 4k. Rating: T.

Remus leaves Sirius in the lurch, going on an Order Mission with Marlene McKinnon and leaving nothing but a rushed letter containing no real detail. Sirius is left to grapple with his abandonment while Remus secludes himself in misery.

Ok ok ok I've posted about this a million times but this is one of the fics I'm proudest of. Took a while because I'm a perfectionist.

2 All's Well That Ends Well | Words: 13.7k. Chapters: 4/12. Rating: T. Co-creator: @merlinsbbeard.

Lily Evans is flung into the vicious cesspit that is the Hogwarts Dating Scene. Filled with boys and Quidditch parties and Firewhisky and friendly inter-house relations and tears and mean girls and public displays of affection—gag.

Laugh my f*cking ass off writing this with Merlin. May or may not be loosely based on true events of I won't say who...

3 Expectation's Encumbrance | Words: 1.7k. Chapters: 1/?. Rating: G.

Miss Lillian Evans is entirely uninterested in marriage, thank you very much. James Potter, Viscount Godric, could not agree more. After an introduction from a mutual friend, one Mr Lupin, the pair form a friendship in which they laugh at the ridiculousness of their marriage-minded society together and pass away endless tiring fetes in each other's company.

I am living out my Jane Austen dream and nobody can stop me! I really love writing this though. More time honestly goes into researching than it does writing (at least at the moment) and That's The Way I Like It.

4 To Live Without A Heart | Words: ~600. Chapters: 1/?. Rating: T.

James wasn’t home that night. It was the one decent thing Peter did, and James hated him for it.

Everybody needs a bit of gut-wrenching sadness in their life and this is mine :) I don't have enormous plans for this plot-wise. I do, however, have a Pinterest board and what more does a fic-writer really need? Rest assured (eventual) future chapters will be filled with heartbroken Daddy James.

5 I Can't Love Him | Words: 31k. Chapters: 6/?. Rating: T.

James Potter was an intolerable prick. A dim-witted, egotistical toerag who wasn't worth Lily's time. Well, unless, in the case of a good telling-off, that was very much worth it. This was true right up until the last few weeks of fifth year when Lily's whole life was flipped on her head, and she was left to work out what in Merlin's name to do with it.

Now... hear me out. This isn't exactly my best fic but it is my first!

Despite being many years old, it has never been finished and the initial version was very bad. There are actually many more chapters published on Wattpad—oh my—that you can go find if you're interested in poorly-written long-winded Jily fanfiction with little to no plot.

It has been undergoing a very big rewrite for a year+ now, the finished chapters of which are on AO3.

Taaaags: @merlinsbbeard @kay-elle-cee @ohmygodshesinsane @liiilyevans @blitheringmcgonagall

[disaster-j]

TOL Rewatch Week One

Just rewatched episode one with beloved mutual @magicaldreamfox1 and AAAAAAAA this show really does so many things to me

I have like a million and one thoughts but two main ones-

I am still so fucking pissed about Khai being made into a genuine asshole for drama reasons in the show instead of just being a dumb slut (affectionate) who thought his feelings for Third were Extra Special Friendship Feelings as if all friends dream about building a life with their bestie and get anxiety over the idea of said bestie not being by their side always.... yeah Khai is so much gayer in the novel y'all don't understand I will never shut up about this particular change. Never ever. HE SHOULD'VE BEEN A SIMP FROM THE GET GO. I get that the drama was important to fill up eps but like they did Khai a grave injustice by erasing so many of the scenes that showed his good side, his scared side, his confused side, his deeply in love with Third side. I will never forgive them for making the show Third biased when the story is supposed to be about Khai's journey.

What would've happened if Two had never intervened. Like I've already written a fic about Third giving up on Khai after overhearing him in That Scene but even then he'd at least tried and like his crush had been acknowledged by people other than him. But what if Two had never found him that night he decided to give up. What if neither Two nor Bone had tried to intervene during that time and Third had pulled away from Khai???? WHY AM I MAKING MYSELF SAD THEY'RE MY FAVOURITE SHIP But like imagine KhaiThird having a friendship break-up imagine Khai losing his fucking mind bc Third was his everything and he just didn't realise it until he'd already lost him imagine them remeeting a few years after they've graduated and Khai desperately trying to get back in Third's good books and Third being his meanest self trying to hide how much he still loves Khai AAAAAAAAA someone write the fic pls i am on my knees begging

Other notable thoughts I had while watching the episode

We should talk more about the fact that Khai went and got his ass beat defending Milk's honour AFTER he found out she was messing with him. Like he just did that huh. And he had no reason to think it would help him get her back or anything he just did it bc he felt like it. My poor lil meow meow my favourite puppy boy I love him.

All the Khai is autistic/nd posts are correct

All the Khai is demiromantic posts (me im making all them posts) are soooo correct

Khai's not nearly as Straight in ep1 as he'd like to believe. To quote Dreamy, why are you as a man "riding" "charles". He's a bottom. I said what I said.

THE WAY KHAI SAYS LOVE YOU TO THIRD STILL KILLS ME APPARENTLY

Third is the og bl exploiter girlboss. He was capitalising on his sexuality and close male friendships before it was cool.

Two and Bone BOTH knew Third liked Khai in ep1. Two definitely noticed Third in the scene where they wrap up filming, tho he's obviously been eyeing him a while. And Bone absolutely Knew when Third walked away while they were teasing Khai about Milk. He literally frowned at Third walking off and then turned pensively to Khai. Maybe this is when he decided to confront Khai about Third's crush?

Fake Protagonist is still undefeated as best bl ost I said what I said.

Two and Bone are the best friends ever. This friend group is perfection like no other BL has executed a friend group this well, where everyone gets appropriate screentime and no one exists just for comic relief or to further the plot, they all have their story arcs, their own motivations and flaws and endearments, and they don't go off on their own after the show ends. And they ALL actually get along well. Not Me could've had this if the writers weren't Black antis.

It will be so fucking hard to watch one episode of tol per week literally itching to go watch more as I type AAAAAAAAA

And yet. We persevere. See y'all next week!

[polychocobros]

if i’m allowed to speak on it, this will be tagged as infinite wealth spoilers. Just wanted to talk about how they handled kiryu on here and see if anyone else agrees with me. I know some of my mutuals on twitter do but I want to actually have an open discussion with others on it.

After chapter 7, when Yamai beats the shit out Kiryu and kidnaps him, I feel like the story took a turn for the worst. They clearly put no care into this game’s story at all, especially Kiryu’s part and it was really disappointing to me as Kiryu is probably my favorite character of all time. I personally saw no point in Yamai kidnapping him and then actually not doing anything to him, it felt contradictory, not to say characters can’t be but it felt like there was almost no consequence for it or it wasn’t meant to have an impact on you to begin with. They make you stressed out (at least I was) over what could potentially happen to him and did nothing with it. Kiryu’s bucket list was filled with shit that wasn’t even important. I don’t need to know that Kiryu went to a Poppo on Nakimichi St. at 7:57 am and bought a fucking bento. Maybe make space for shit that actually matters like his children or his relationship with the Jimas. Instead of having Kiryu spend what could be his last months with Ichiban’s friends (i love his interactions with Zhao and his relationship with Seonhee aside from the flirting don’t get me wrong), he should’ve had his party be the people who impacted his life the most. Haruka could have literally been the idol class. She could’ve fought alongside him even to his protest. They used a bunch of heat actions for Kiryu’s skills and could’ve done the same for the Jimas. The Jimas were literally just added into the game for exposition and a boss fight. Daigo seemed to be the only one who was expressive about Kiryu having cancer, Majima and Saejima didn’t even fucking care? Majima who waited ten years for Kiryu to get out of prison so he could train him to be better? Majima who got in the way of one of his subordinates to take a stabbing for Kiryu because he insisted he belonged to him and only he could kill him? Kiryu trusting Majima to the point where he would rather talk to him first than outright assume he betrayed him in 3. Kiryu having a breakdown thinking Majima was dead and almost broke his cover to seek revenge on his killer in 5. There’s way more I can get into but not caring that Kiryu has cancer? Only one sentence on the matter and that’s that? They want to convince us Kiryu and Majima never cared for one another and it feels insulting to us who actually value Majima and Kiryu’s relationship as friends (shipping aside) bc Kiryu and Majima both trust each other with their lives. Saejima and Kiryu also trust each other and have a friendship and it’s like Saejima might as well have not even been there cause he said next to nothing.

I would’ve been happier about him seeing Taichi had I not known he literally only sees him. Not even a single one of his other children does he see besides a scene I mention later on in the post.

Ichiban telling him he deserved to live for only about 2.5 seconds.. was that supposed to make me sad? Or cry? Sure I got teary eyed but they did not even give us enough time to sit with what Ichiban was saying for me to feel as emotionally impacted as I thought I would. Then Kiryu calling him pathetic for being embarrassed about what happened with Saeko? Like seriously? Kiryu may not be super expressive naturally but calling Ichiban pathetic for being rightfully embarrassed felt wrong.

Was Kiryu supposed to develop as a character in this game at all? Everyone keeps telling him that he shouldn’t take things on alone and that he should rest and then at the boss fight with Ebina he’s like I have to do this alone and Zhao and Saeko have to tell him this fucking bullshit again? As someone who can relate to Kiryu in many avenues (feeling like a burden, feeling like he needs to do things on his own instead of ask for help, feels like even the smallest things are my fault even when they aren’t), it felt like his development in this game was scarce to none then rushed right at the end for some villain who literally did nothing all fucking game. Am I supposed to care about Kiryu telling Ebina all this fucking bullshit? The only thing in that speech that made me teary eyed was Kiryu crying, not even what he was saying because I dont care about Ebina enough to waste tears on him cause he was so irrelevant in game.

And the icing on the cake, the final scene. Haruka and Haruto pull up and Kiryu isn’t even there, he’s in chemo and we get a scene of him just saying his actual name again. Not a single fucking interaction with Haruka or Haruto. No, I’m sorry for abandoning you guys I should’ve never done that. One of the, if not, MOST, important relationship in Kiryu’s fucking life, gets not a single fucking interaction. I literally cried because I was so fucking upset we couldn’t even get that. Like seeing the way they dealt with Kiryu in this game.. I feel like I got fucking shot in the chest (no need to be so dramatic). This was supposed to be a send off to Kiryu? After 3,5, and 6 being a send off? Like how many fucking send offs can you possibly fucking give Kiryu? If I knew this was going to happen I would’ve rather they just killed him off of tetanus like Dean Winchester.

It sucks knowing the journey I spent with Kiryu during all the fucking games I played ended up with so much disappointment. I woild literally wake up mad almost every day after chapter 7. It was that serious for me. There were other things besides Kiryu’s side of things that really upset me (the entirety of the Tatara Channel subplot, the mini games with Ichiban ended up being SA’d because a man being SA’d is funny apparently, Hanawa’s death, Seonhee being one of the first women (besides Daigo’s mom) in the game who’s a cool mafia boss for only half her bond interactions to be flirting with fucking Kiryu, them implying she is into women and then doing literally nothing with it, Saeko’s drink links revolving around some irrelevant man who asked to marry her when she got mad at Ichiban at the start of the game for that, to the point of ghosting him, Zhao and Joongi being complete fucking after thoughts, especially Joongi.. Zhao and Ichiban do not interact in the game at all whatsoever, only one plot related sentence). I fell in love with Kiryu for a reason in Yakuza 0. From going to 0 to possibly one of the worst send offs in any game I’ve ever seen; is fucking heartbreaking. I really hope they mean it this time because I cannot sit through another game with Kiryu in it unless he isn’t at peace with his children, where he is truly happiest. Please leave Kiryu alone and let him go.

[ridleyytheriddler]

im suuuper bored rn and in a mood to write so! rant! yay!

first thing i wanted to rant about - my sexual orientation (:

im ace, period. i know that for a fact. at least I'm somewhere on the spectrum, maybe demisexual? but I'm not sure, I'm not really diving into microlabels.

romantic orientation is an ENTIRELY different story...

had a crush on a boy in 3rd/4th grade, back when (i thought) i was a cishet girl. liked him until like 5th grade when my feelings sort of faded away. now, i was virtual schooled through 5th and 6th so i didn't really like anyone in sixth grade but i spent a lot of time exploring queerness in general- like my nonbinary awakening happened sometime in like January/February of 2022 (though i did first label myself as a demigirl, it still falls under the enby umbrella).

i entered seventh grade as a closeted aroace enby and went through about 3/4 of the year without any major crushes (i had a platonic interest in a boy that i misinterpreted as a crush). i didn't really label my romantic attraction because i didn't need to.

however, as the end of the school year approached, i started feeling uncomfortable. i wanted to know who i was, and the only valid part of my identity had been my asexuality, since i knew that i liked a boy in the past so how could i be aro? i was drowning in a whirlpool of invalidation and not feeling queer enough.

so, i go to the first camp of the year, a writing camp, filled with TONS of queer people. i loved it there, but seeing so many people around me, sure of their identities, made me die more inside.

sooo, a couple days after i was accused of flirting with my friend (who happened to be a boy), i "discovered" i liked a girl. she was pretty, she was smart, she was blonde, she was sporty. i texted her a lot (even after camp was over). i put hearts around her contact name. but "liking" her didn't feel thrilling and it didn't feel happy. to put it simply, it felt like a fucking punishment. talking to her made me feel like i wasn't enough.

so after going through about a month of emotional turmoil and dying inside and bragging to my friends about how i liked a girl, i headed to my first sleepaway camp of the summer, a church camp, ironically enough. and THERE. THERE i fell. not in love, but probably the realest crush i'd had. there weren't really butterflies, so to speak, but if you looked at a picture with the two of us in it, you would see me gazing at her (lets call her M) with literal heart eyes. we'd started quietly chatting while our mutual friends were off doing other stuff, and ended up bonding with each other despite how the only thing we shared was our introverted-ness. and I'm not even that introverted. we're polar opposites. we still text each other almost every day, and i had hopes she liked me back, aaaaaaaaand she doesn't but. here comes part two of my rant.

my crush doesn't like me.

and i don't even feel the tiniest bit sad about it.

this is probably the most confused i've ever been. i know i like her. maybe it's because her "rejection" was so soft it didn't even feel like one. i don't know. it's complicated, but my best friend had been cheering me on to tell her, so i did. and i was honestly divided as to whether she liked me or not- at times she acted like she did but other times she didn't. honestly, i think I'm just hopeful that she likes me

anyway thats not the point-

so. after writing this THERAPUTIC post, i have discovered that:

i am aroace and proud 🧡💛🤍🩵💙

im nonbinary (and proud, but I've known that for a while)

I'm confused

but I'm 100% queer. whether I'm lesbian or straight or bi or something, i am queer! and I'm tired of feeling invalidated by being compared to the people out there who are out and proud with all their labels. i don't need to be exactly like them to be queer and be myself.

to put it poetically, "our friendship is worth more than being in any relationship." I'm going to write a poem about that now. good night yall <3 or even good morning/afternoon.

[jazzyslibrary]

warriors: the new prophecy #4: starlight

date started: 05/02/2023 | date finished: 26/02/2023

i love how mothwing is basically still an apprentice because she hadn’t finished her training before mudfur died, but also she’s riverclan’s only medicine cat. she’s stuck in-between being an apprentice and an experienced medicine cat. the other medicine cats can’t really argue with her decisions, like to swim across the lake to go to the gathering island. she seems so lively and fun and kinda childish but no one can question her. i like it a lot.

they have hinted at the idea that tallstar would appoint onewhisker to succeed him when he dies by having him tend to tallstar all the time and mudclaw be argumentative with thunderclan which is contradictory to the behaviour of the rest of windclan. i do like that tallstar values friendship over uhh “strong leadership”, although i am not sure if strong leadership is exactly what mudclaw has but whatever. i’m glad that tallstar appointed onewhisker, and i also like that onewhisker is close to tallstar.

i just bought tallstar’s revenge today (17/02/2023) and i know that onewhisker will be in that book so i’ll have to read that soon!

firestar is once again being told by a good friend of his, while dying, who he should appoint as deputy. and why are they always so wrong about the choices? tallstar and whitestorm are both smart kitties.

i didn’t like that tallstar commented on brambleclaw being a good potential deputy. i just think brackenfur makes more sense. graystripe already offloaded his responsibilities as deputy onto brackenfur earlier in this series (which is kinda sad because he also neglected his responsibilities as brackenfur’s mentor in the first arc). just because brambleclaw is the main character in this arc doesn’t mean he needs to be deputy! not that i remembered this, but i saw a post yesterday discussing how brambleclaw was appointed as firestar’s deputy right after he hesitated to stop hawkfrost from murdering firestar. like how does that make sense. firestar is like “well you almost let me be killed, but you didn’t. and for that, i will reward you by giving you responsibility for our clan!”. we will have to see how much that frustrates me in the next two books.

ugh and further along brambleclaw is literally saying to himself that he deserves to be deputy! i don’t think that’s ever been how it works. like you don’t become deputy after filling out your good boy points. i mean, he hasn’t even had an apprentice yet, which is one of the rules about becoming deputy. why is he so entitled! and i think that we are supposed to interpret firestar as being unreasonable. i mean, maybe he should appoint a new deputy. but it certainly shouldn’t be brambleclaw. ridiculous!!

and the next chapter, brambleclaw loses his temper at mousefur and brackenfur diffuses the situation and brambleclaw even says to himself that brackenfur deserves to be deputy over him, and other warriors too! but he blames it on his heritage rather than the fact that he’s inexperienced and entitled. firestar obviously trusts him if he gave him his warrior name, let him lead the way to their new territory, has him next to him and onewhisker while their mutual friend speaks his last words. grrr gimme back leafpaw and squirrelflight povs please!!

firestar asked brambleclaw to do an “apprentice task”, which was collecting moss for bedding. i don’t really like that tasks that help the clan have some sort of respectability tier list to them. like caring for the elders shouldn’t be a shameful task given to naughty apprentices. but brambleclaw is very upset that he’s given such a task, because he’s suuuuuch a respectable warrioooor. meanwhile we swap to leafpaw’s perspective and she mentally praises him for taking on that responsibility because she thinks he’s doing it to be helpful. if brambleclaw really cared about helping the clan, he wouldn’t care that he has to do tasks he doesn’t like. i don’t think brackenfur would be such a sourpuss about it, i think he would take on any responsibility. maybe that makes him boring with no personality, but i don’t mind a background character having no controversial thoughts. hating on brambleclaw can be fun!

i know brambleclaw has been hated on a lot from the fandom, but mostly after omen of the stars, and because he is a terrible partner to squirrelflight. i honestly think he was nice enough in the first three books of the new prophecy! i didn’t care too much for the development of his relationship with squirrelflight, but it was okay! i mean to be honest, so far, none of the romances i have read about have been interesting at all. maybe it’s because they’re cats? but i doubt it, i think that a lot of the characters just are underdeveloped. so the characters i care about are ones that i have nostalgia for and also ones that are discussed on tumblr and people have headcannons that make me think of the characters in a different way.

anyway i hate spottedleaf blah blah blah. i can’t wait for her to tell leafpool to be with crowfeather because starclan needs “the three” to be born and then shame leafpool for doing the very thing she told her to do!! i hate how much leafpool idolises spottedleaf, like i hate her for the whole firestar creeping thing, but u know, honestly that’s not as bad as how awful she’s going to be to leafpool. i wish yellowfang could have been her starclan “mentor” or “guide”. but then again, they did make yellowfang say the most foolish thing ever while she was in starclan (the thing about ashfur’s only fault being that he loved too much) so maybe it’s better that she isn’t in leafpool’s dreams too much. but yellowfang broke the same rule that leafpool did, so maybe (if someone who actually cares would write it) she would have been sympathetic to leafpool rather than shame her. spottedleaf just has no actual connection to leafpool apart from the fact that she creeps on firestar, which makes it so weird that she comes to leafpool in her dreams. if it was yellowfang, it would be because she saw firestar as a second son, and she cares about cinderpelt’s apprentice because she also took on a motherly role with cinderpelt. i just!!! wish that was the case.

if i was a writer, maybe i would do a rewrite of the new prophecy and just kick stupid spottedleaf out of the story. it would probably seem that i have a bias for certain characters though. i would want bluestar and yellowfang to have more uhh “screen time”. although that would probably make it less exciting when they do finally appear. maybe just yellowfang then. although i would also like to hear from cats like whitestorm, lionheart, redtail, stonefur. if i recall, lionheart and redtail have only appeared for firestar’s leader ceremony. and stonefur, i don’t know if he ever has interactions in starclan with his mother and mosskit. i’d like to think that when mistystar finally died they had a family reunion with crookedstar, silverstream, feathertail.

back to leafpool, and the actual contents of the book. i’m happy she finally got her full name! it’s kinda weird when siblings don’t get their names at the same time. plus leafpool has been a great medicine cat even before the big journey to the lake territory. and i love how mothwing was so proud of her. actually i just quite like the medicine cat relationships. they’re all cool and i like seeing it from their perspectives, having interactions with cats from different clans without hostility is nice.

i am wondering how hawkfrost managed to get cats from shadowclan to help him, is it because he is tigerstar’s son and there is still cats in shadowclan that would follow tigerstar were he alive? but why do they care about helping mudclaw? like hawkfrost has some motivation if mudclaw told him he would make him deputy if onewhisker is overthrown. it all seems so silly, and kinda rushed too. like if we compare it to tigerstar trying to overthrow thunderclan and taking control of shadowclan and riverclan, that happened over the course of several books. perhaps hawkfrost and mudclaw overthrowing windclan could have been interesting if it wasn’t squeezed into a couple chapters.

our only hints that this could happen are that squirrelflight, leafpool, and mistyfoot are distrustful of hawkfrost. but only because he is too “ambitious”. and then the rest was mistyfoot straight up telling thunderclan what was happening. i think it could have been interesting for thunderclan and windclan to not be sort of in an alliance for once. i like that they are friendly with each other, but maybe it would have been cool to see the friendship between firestar and onewhisker tested a bit?

i was watching sunnyfall’s trip through time video about this particular book (as i have been doing after each warriors book i’ve been reading) and she brought up that this books main plot points revolve around windclan and the leader/deputy drama. i agree that we should have had some chapters written from his point of view. why does brambleclaw need to be there for tallstar’s death? we could have been seeing it from crowfeather’s point of view. there’s so many interactions with windclan that it really would have benefitted from seeing it in their perspective.

the scene with leafpool and crowfeather at the end of the book was … strange. like those two shadowclan cats, why were they running to thunderclan anyway? and they’re just mysterious unnamed cats, because the writers don’t feel like fleshing out the rest of the clans with real characters. oh and of course they brutally die by snapping their necks, which is supposed to make me feel like, oh my gosh that could have been leafpool if crowfeather didn’t help her! and the confessions of “love” like, all of the intentional romance in these books is so bad. you guys are infatuated with each other you are not in love come on now. it’s very silly.

and i guess squirrelflight and brambleclaw are officially broken up for now because he continues to trust hawkfrost. like even if mudclaw is lying about hawkfrost’s motivations to help him, how does that change the fact that he helped a cat from another clan try to overthrow their leader? what is going on inside brambleclaw’s mind here? squirrelflight is so right for giving up on him at this point. he’s being wilfully ignorant. i mean that’s not what the erins intended him to be, he apparently just trusts his brother after all this? and despite denouncing the actions of his father every chance he has had previously, he didn’t seem to have a problem chatting to him in a dream? i know he doesn’t seem awfully evil when he’s chatting away with his sons, but he also didn’t seem awfully evil, or at all to all of thunderclan when he had literally killed redtail, attempted to kill bluestar, etc. i still remember when fireheart was filling in for bluestar at a gathering and tigerstar was there as shadowclan’s leader, and fireheart decided not to warn the other clans about his actions because “maybe he has changed!”. it’s kinda annoying for characters to be uncharacteristically stupid for the sake of the plot. it takes you out of it and makes you question the authors rather than wonder the motives of the characters.

mudclaw dying to a falling tree made me wonder, how many cats have died to trees throughout the series? off the top of my head i thought of mudclaw, firestar, and longtail. luckily the wiki is extensive enough to have a complete list, which includes micah (i didn’t know of micah because i haven’t read moth flight’s vision yet), mudclaw, firestar, rainwhisker, and longtail. and briarlight was paralysed.

[thefanficmonster]

Let Them Talk

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female) ft. Sykkuno

Warnings: Swearing, Jealousy

Genre: Fluff, a bit of Angst

Summary: We can all agree Among Us is a fun game on its own but what makes it ten times better is playing it with the right company. Y/N could agree 100% Being a streamer herself, she loves playing with the streamer gang that includes her boyfriend and best friend. But, what happens when her boyfriend starts doubting her feelings for him due to her close relationship with her best friend.

Requested by @cheetoscat . Thank you so much for your request! Sorry it took so long to write, I hope the final product is worth the wait. Enjoy! Love, Vy ❤

Y/AU/N - Your Among Us Name

I settle in my gaming chair, adjusting my webcam one last time before joining the Among Us lobby with my friends. 

“Hi everyone!“ I say into the mic, a smile plastering itself on my face. Discord is a magical thing, man. It’s so easy to forget that the people you are talking to aren’t around you or within arm’s reach. You could be separated by miles and miles of land or - in our case - oceans as well. Distance becomes negligible when you hear your friends’ voices, their laughter; when you have a good time together despite being each behind a screen, often times alone.

Well, I’m one of those lucky ones that isn’t alone. No one knows that, though. Everyone thinks I’m a single, self-employed girl that’s straight out of college. And they are 90% right. Only thing is - I’m not single. That would be a shocker in and of itself, but revealing who’s changed my relationship status would be a bomb with a whole new intensity.

Speaking of my significant other who shall remain unnamed - just kidding, it’s Corpse - his form materializes in the doorway of my recording room. I give him a hand signal the camera isn’t able to capture, alerting him of the fact that my mic is on. He replies by blowing me a kiss and walking off down the hall to his recording room where he’ll be stationed for the next three or so hours.

I owe this relationship to my best friend Sykkuno. I’m a pretty new and not very well known on the platform, however, thanks to him I haven’t only obtained a boyfriend, but a following of a little over million subscribers as well. 

It all started with an invitation to fill a spot in the Among Us lobby him and his friends had created. It took him quite a bit to convince me to join, but I eventually caved and agreed. Suddenly, there I was. In a Discord call, in an Among Us lobby with some of the most well-known names on this platform. I’m talking YouTube legends. I was that puppy playing with the big dogs. The newbie tagging along with the big leagues. Or at least that’s how I felt until we all started vibing - talking and teasing each other as though we’ve known each other for years and not minutes.

When I joined the call, Corpse wasn’t present. After everyone else introduced themselves, Sykkuno informed me that we were waiting for Corpse to return. The name sounded really cool to me and I was genuinely very excited to meet this Corpse guy.

And then, out of the blue - no prep, no warning...

“Did you get someone to fill the spot? Oh- Hello, Y/AU/N.“ 

…he started talking and he had me star-struck. Apparently, he also had me a blabbering mess cause I remember blurting out: “Whoa, who’s this guy speaking in bold and underlined at the same time?”

The entire lobby, including Corpse, laughed. Sean, or Jack like they called him most often, answered my question, “That is the voice of God, Y/N. Its source is named Corpse, though.”

Heat spread from the bottom of my neck to the tips of my ears. I was mortified by my own stupidity. I was well aware they couldn’t see me and I was incredibly thankful for that, but I simply could not get myself to open my eyes. “I’m so sorry.” I said through nervous laughter.

“No, no, I like that description. Bold and underlined at the same time, huh?“ His voice sounded even more pleasant when it had that teasing, mischievous note to it. That thought popping up in my head only made things worse for my self-esteem and only made me more embarrassed, causing me to hide my face in my hands. “You sure it’s not in Italics as well?“ 

His question got a weak laugh out of me. “Nope, definitely not. Nothing Italic about it.“

Yes, I don’t even know how some terrible jokes about MS Word fonts got me as far as a romantic relationship, but they did! We’ve been living together for quite some time now, dating for even longer - hiding it just as long. It’s not that we have been actively trying to hide it or something, we just wanted to see how long it would take someone to become sus of us. When we realized no one would notice, we decided that if any rumors about us started, or even fans shipping us, we’d come clean. That hasn’t happened either, so we haven’t had the proper chance to address our relationship and neither of us minds.

At this point, I’m honestly afraid of revealing it to the gaming squad. Sykkuno especially. He’s my best friend, after all. I can see him being hurt by the fact that I kept a secret so big even from him. The last thing I wanna do is hurt my best friend but it’s already too late for that, it’s inevitable.

“Y/N have you looked at Twitter today?“ Rae, another streamer I’ve become close with over the months, says urgently.

Overlooking the tension in her words, I answer: “Nope, haven’t had the time. Why? What’s up?“

Before Rae can say anything else, Sykkuno joins the conversation, his voice somehow even more urgent than Rae’s. “It’s nothing, Y/N. If you see it, just don’t let it bother you, ok?”

Hearing such a tone from Rae isn’t unusual, but hearing it from Sykkuno is completely different and a lot more worrisome. “Well if it has the potential of bothering me it can’t be nothing. What’s going on?”

Just then, my phone dings with two notifications. I check to see they are messages from Rae.

“I sent you screenshots. Sorry, Sykkuno. She has to know in order to address it and defuse it as well. I know better than anyone how fast these rumors can spread, especially if no one reacts to them.“ She says, her tone barely apologetic at all.

I open the screenshots she has sent me and I find myself frozen in shock. Some old pictures of Sykkuno and I have been posted on Twitter by some random user. These pictures have started an entire thread of suspicions surrounding our relationship.

The pictures in question are from a New Year’s Eve party a mutual friend of ours held two years ago. Sure, in the pictures we are a lot closer than what would be considered a platonic proximity. And yes one of the pictures is of me kissing his cheek. Yes we were both a bit tipsy. I acknowledge all those things and yet none of them are concrete reasons for these rumors to have started piling. 

“This is silly.“ I finally say after maybe five minutes of silence on my end. ”This is absolutely ridiculous! And why are people so serious about it as well? Actual, important matters get discussed more nonchalantly than the potential relationship between two online personalities! What is this world we live in?“ I know I shouldn’t let these rumors get to me like this, especially not on camera. Still, I can’t help it. I feel it’s so unfair to Corpse. He has to put up with this as well and it’s by no means easy for him. I’ve been shipped with people from our group in the past and he always took those rumors to heart despite acting like he didn’t care. Neither of us should get worked up, but him getting upset about them creates a domino effect with my emotions - causing me to be hit just as hard as him, in some cases harder.

Rumors of the past aside, this one is the worst by far. Mostly cause even Corpse himself suspected something between Sykkuno and I at the very beginning, when we were still acquaintances, barely crossing into the realm of friends.

I pull up Twitter to look for the whole thread, barely sparing my stream chat a glance in the process. It seems pretty split - those who agree with me and those who think Sykkuno and I make ‘such an adorable couple’. The thread is ridiculously long, and if we take into account that it was only started approximately five hours ago, you can either view it as impressive, amusing or sad. Why sad? Because someone has dedicated so much time and effort into fueling the fire of a weakly supported theory.

I love Sykkuno with all my heart. Everyone knows that - fandom, streamer squad, Corpse and Sykkuno included. I love too much and too platonically to ever even dream of having a romantic connection with him. I thought that was more than obvious, but people are either blind here, or just grasping at straws. One thing’s for certain - they’re stepping on a nerve.

“Hey where’s Corpse? Did he disconnect?” Felix asks, gaining my full attention. My eyes dart to the monitor, searching through the little avatars in a desperate search for the one of my boyfriend. It’s nowhere to be found.

“He just messaged me saying his connection is unstable but he might join us later.“ Rae says, “You guys can invite someone to fill...“

“Bathroom break.“ I interrupt, not waiting for a response before shutting my mic off, putting the ‘BRB‘ graphic on my stream and yanking the headset off. I basically run down the hall to Corpse’s recording room, my heart pounding like a bass drum.

“Corpse?!“ I call out to him, one hand already on the doorknob. When five seconds pass by without a response, I barge in. 

Inside, I find his usual spot on the gaming chair empty and his slumped figure seated on his bed.

“Corpse?“ I try again, watching for even the tiniest change of body language. He remains still as a statue, not bothering to look up at me either. 

His hands are gripping the edge of the mattress, his head hanging low. His eyes are covered by the short curtain of his dark messy curls. I can’t gauge much. Is he angry? Is he sad? Both? How should I approach the situation?

Before I find the answer to any of those questions, I am kneeling in front of him, our height difference eliminated. I gently pry his hands off the mattress and take them in mine, holding them firmly but tenderly. With one hand I reach up to tilt his head so his eyes can meet mine. He complies, his tear-filled brown orbs meeting mine. Those tears have the same effect on me as fifty sharp knives stabbing into my chest. These tears focus their attack straight on my heart, tearing it to pieces.

“Baby....“

He cuts me off, “Why is it always someone else, huh? Do they deem me not worthy of being with you? Do they think you deserve better?” His voice wavers, “Well, they might be right. They are correct and there’s little I can do to prove them wrong. They mean you well, Y/N - pairing you with guys better than me. Those are some loyal fans you’ve got. They only want what’s best for you. And so do I. If ‘best’ is being with someone else then...”

It’s my turn to cut him off. I put an end to his nonsense ramble that’s slowly killing me by pressing my finger against his lips. The sternness of my gaze is beyond me as I get up and walk over to his computer setup. I put on his headset and hop into the call as well as the lobby with his avatar.

“Hey Corpse’s back!” Toast says, “Good to have you back buddy.”

“No, not Corpse.” I say in a casual, nonchalant voice.

“Wait, wha-“ Sean’s voice shows just how confused he is, representing the confusion of the entire lobby actually.

“I know all of you are streaming so this message will be heard by several different audiences so I’m gonna make myself perfectly clear.“ I take a deep breath, “Sykkuno and I aren’t dating. He’s a lovely guy and he deserves to find a girl who will treat him right. That girl isn’t and won’t be me though. I am already treating someone right. Someone who treats me more than right as well. An amazing person. A man-child with a heart of gold. You know him, to a certain extent. He goes by the name of Corpse Husband, but I prefer to call him ‘Love of my life’. Thank you for your time and attention, goodbye.“

I exit the call and turn around to find a stunned Copse looking at me.

“That was meant for you just as much.“ I say with a fake strict attitude, one hand on my hip the other rested on his desk behind me, “Were you listening?“

Within milliseconds, he’s on his feet standing directly in front of me, his lips inches away from mine. “I heard and memorized every word. But...” he pauses for a moment, “I think you have no idea how big of a chaos you just created.”

I smile mischievously, “We’ll worry about that later. For now...” I close the gap between us, connecting our lips in a sweet and passionate kiss. 

@susceptible-but-siriusexual  @simonsbluee  @save-the-sky  @hacker-ghost  @itsminniekat  @bi-andready-tocry  @imtiredaffff  @jazzkaurtheglorious  @hereforbeebo  @fandomgirl17  @chrysanthykios  @maehemscorpyus  @loraleiix  @letsloveimagines  @annshit  @i-cant-choose-a-username-help  @enigmaticmaze  @divine-artemis  @waterlilypat  @idontknowwhatthisisfam  @evi-ka  @classyandfabulous00  @redperson58  @lilysdaydreams  @the-fuck-up-of-today  @slashersdream  @chiefwombathoagiepizza  @solowheein @mythicalamphitrite  @axen-gers  @luckygirl144  @nj01

[nanatsumu]

HIGH SCHOOL!SUKUNA x F!READER

thinking about bad boy itadori sukuna who all the kids at school try to steer clear from because they know he’s bad news and if you get involved with him then you’re bound to be tied with bad luck for as long as he lives. well, that is everyone except for the president of the student council who so happens to be his childhood best friend turned lover.

this is mostly written for my own self indulgence and to project my fantasies of having a boyfriend onto sukuna but feel free to treat this as any other headcanon! ps i am pretty sure canon sukuna would kill a baby at any given situation, but this is going to be a revamped version of sukuna written by yours truly ;) and its a high school au so sukuna won’t be a complete menace to society and will actually have a heart heh

also i didn’t realize how long this was going to be??? this is kind of all over place too because i just wanted to throw all of my thoughts onto this post so there might be some plot holes in this LOL

i feel like sukuna would be the type of bad boy who isn’t necessarily a bad boy but everyone at school just paints him as some kind of delinquent because of all the tattoos and piercings he has.

he actually shows up to school more often than you think he would (but that’s only because you’re in most of his classes so long story short: you’re his only motivation for attending class)

“forgets” to bring his work books to class more than usual (in reality he does this on purpose so he has an excuse to be near you) so he requests to sit next to you the entire class period so he can share with you for the meantime but whenever the teachers not looking he’ll go back to admiring your face.

his older twin brother, itadori yuji, is very fond of you since you three grew up together and you both had your chances of being a victim to his antics!

exhibit a: in middle school when you and yuji were watching tv together, the show you two were watching would keep switching to some wrestling match broadcasting on a sports channel and no matter how many times you turned the tv on and off, it just would not stop. but it wasn’t until you heard snickering from the kitchen that you realized sukuna had a spare remote and was the mastermind behind the whole thing.

exhibit b: sukuna and yuji’s mom was the owner of a bakery so every now and then she would have either one of the twins come deliver freshly baked pastries to your household! oh how wrong was she to trust her youngest. sukuna was now a freshman in high school, and by now you would’ve thought that sukuna would have grown out of his childish phase, but WRONG! sukuna was still a menace in your life even past childhood. so when you bit into one of the macaroons, instead of being hit with the overwhelming taste of [favorite flavor], all you could feel was the burning sensation of wasabi kicking into your tastebuds.

yeah after the whole wasabi macaroon freak accident, you stopped accepting everything sukuna offered to you and opted to only eating pastries out of the boxes that yuji delivered to you. (sukuna eventually caught onto this and was just TEENSY bit upset but he would rather down a whole tube of wasabi than to tell you upfront)

now, how did you two even end up dating??? oh boy now that is a story

you see, yours and sukuna’s dynamic growing up was similar to that of tom and jerry’s— you being jerry and sukuna being 10x worse than tom of course

but it wasn’t until a confession after school behind the cherry blossom tree that was known for bringing good luck to successful confessions that sukuna finally realized that maybe he really did like you just a little lot bit

sukuna overheard the boy who was planning on confessing to you talking to his friend group about how “sweet and caring” you are (although sukuna could argue otherwise, you were a little brat. *LIKE HELLO?!&:&:& YOU WEREN’T THE ONE WHO ATE A MACAROON FILLED WASABI**) and obviously his ears perked up at the mention of your name. he grew up with you after all so naturally he would be interested in a conversation that revolved around you.

but then the boys started going on about how “you looked like an easy catch” and how “your body was bangin’!” yeah no, that’s where he drew the line. sure sukuna was an ass and talked shit about you most of the time (in his defense it wasn’t like he was doing it behind your back) but if he ever caught someone else talking about you like that then he would be sure to give them a hard time.

he hid behind one of the bushes near the cherry blossom tree while the boy was professing his love for you. funnily enough, for a moment sukuna forgot why he was originally there because he was too busy trying to stifle a laugh as he watched the boy stumble over his words.

“okay shows over” sukuna thought as the confession was reaching its conclusion, but just as he was about to step in and give the poor boy a piece of his mind, he stopped in his tracks when he heard you roaring with laughter.

“did you really think that i wouldn’t hear about what you and your friends said about me earlier? you’re really pathetic if you think any girl would be easy enough to fall to her knees for you because news flash! you’re a disgusting pig and you deserve to rot in hell for speaking about a girl’s worth like that.”

“it’s kind of sad too, i thought you were a nice boy and i probably would have given you a chance but it seems like you’re even worse than scum! damn it, to think there was somebody out there who’s even worse than sukuna.”

of course sukuna was not pleased to hear that last bit, but he did have a proud grin forming on his face as he watched the boy run away, flustered from your rejection and the embarrassment he was put through.

“sukuna i know you’re hiding behind the bush.”

“huh? i came here way before you got here, there’s no way you could have seen me.” he said as he stood up to his full height.

“well, your laughter isn’t exactly the quietest, plus i can spot that hair of yours from a mile away.”

lets just say, sukuna was glad you didn’t ask him what he was doing there because he wasn’t sure if he could spare the embarrassment of telling you that he was planning on ruining the confession.

after that whole fiasco happened, sukuna started to feel(!&:&::&) things

like he started to notice how you styled your hair differently one day and how you switched to a new perfume that smelled like spearmint (was that weird? for sukuna probably not. he just excuses it as being highly observant)

you weren’t dumb either, you had a feeling sukuna was there that day of the confession because he too had overheard the conversation between the boy and his friends as well (you knew he was prideful and if you brought it up then he probably would’ve denied it)

so from there on out it was just mutual pining at the point except... well.... not really??

i feel like it was just an unspoken agreement between you two that you guys were “together” but not “together together” because he started to treat you differently than he would before. like for example, he’d carry your bag for you whenever you guys would walk home (yuji was confused by this at first because if anything, it would have made more sense to see sukuna make you carry HIS bag, but he eventually caught on to sukuna’s feelings for you because they were twin brothers after all), he started walking you to class more often even though his class was all the way on the other side of the school (you asked him why but he just shrugged and said he was just “killing time” so that he wouldn’t have to go to class and then you ended up scolding him), and there was also that one time you miraculously found a $20 bill in your backpack after mentioning to sukuna that there was this cute top you saw at the mall the other day but didn’t have enough money at the time to purchase it (you asked him about this but he said it was probably yuji, but you didn’t want to pry any further since you wanted to cherish the fact that sukuna cared that much)

but eventually you got sick of this whole push and pull game that you physically had to tug the collar of his school uniform and pull him in for a kiss (he was visibly shocked at this because he never would’ve imagined you as the assertive type. not that he was complaining though)

“oya? didn’t think you liked me this much kitten.” he said laughing while you rolled your eyes.

“as if, i got tired of you being a wuss so one of us had to wear the pants in the relationship.” you snorted, causing him to irk.

to be honest, your relationship with him is smooth sailing because you both were pretty chill people and you didn’t have to worry about him sneaking behind your back to see other girls because 1. literally all the girls at school are terrified of him and 2. he knew what you were capable of doing to him if you were to ever catch him cheating on you so he wants to stay on your good side

jealous and possessive don’t exist in his dictionary because he is the epitome of those two words. remember what i said about how your relationship is smooth sailing? i kinda lied.

he’s easily jealous like for example: when you were in english class and the teacher had you guys jot down some notes, you realized you forgot to ask for your pencil back when you lent it to your friend last period.

so you asked sukuna to borrow a pencil but instead of giving you a pencil, he called you an idiot for being so forgetful.

this makes you mad so you turn to your male classmate since he was sitting on your opposite side and ask him for a pencil instead.

sukuna was practically fuming the entire class period and once the day ended and you two were back at your place, he made sure to mark you real good. (oh he also went out to buy a pack of mechanical pencils to sneak into your backpack so that next time you forget your pencils, you’ll have 10 extra pencils sitting in your backpack as backup)

he’s not a big fan of pda in public, but on the chances he will show some of it, the most he will do is wrap an arm around your shoulder or waist whenever some dude is trying to hit on you.

BUT IN PRIVATE? better buckle up because your in for a ride wink wink

really likes putting hickeys on you to a fault! but will never put any visible ones on your neck because he doesn’t want your parents to view him as some kind of animal (but he has nothing to worry about because your parents really like him and are grateful for the fact that he’s very loyal to you, and you guys grew up together so it’s only natural that your parents are accepting of him since they already know he has a good heart underneath that tough facade of his)

oh, and yuji starts learning how to knock whenever you come over (or shuts himself in his room for the meantime if he thinks it’s unsafe to step out of his room) because chances are, you’re probably making out with sukuna in his room or smth.

now onto the spicy stuff

when you and sukuna first started dating, the first thing you told him was that you weren’t ready to have sex yet because you were nervous and sukuna understood and told you that he was willing to wait for whenever you were ready.

but when you were ready though, it was kind of spontaneous and you weren’t even wearing a matching pair of bra and underwear that day

you two were chilling in your room watching some stupid (according to sukuna) animal documentary when suddenly you felt his hand on your thigh

dating sukuna and all, it was normal for him to have his hands on some part of your body (whether it be your thigh or your waist) while you two were in bed.

but you were feeling a bit bolder HORNEE than usual so you began to leave a hot trail of kisses starting from his jaw all the way down to his neck.

sukuna obviously got the memo but before those kisses could escalate into something more daring, he asked you once more if you were completely sure you wanted to do it and once you gave him the green light, he was quick to tug his shirt over his head and pounce on you.

he started getting really into it though and accidentally bit your thigh which made you loose your high and scold him for it, but he let out a hearty laugh and muttered a quick apology before getting back into business

sike i lied, remember what i said about it being spontaneous? yeah, you technically didn’t loose your virginity to him that day because after he finished prepping you, you both came to a realization that you didn’t have a condom.

oh well, there’s always next time!

i think sukuna is a sucker for pet names: his favorite thing to call you is either kitten or princess and that’s it LOL he finds calling you baby or babe is a bit too cheesy for him

but he likes it when you call him baby or babe ;)

date nights consist of either staying in and cuddling in his room, going out for a walk at night (but very very late though. there’s still lamp posts that guide your way through the streets but it gives you the heebie jeebies to be out walking outside so late. sukuna always reminds you that nothing bad will happen as long as he’s right by your side), or just spending time with you and your families.

but if you’re really down to do it, he’ll probably initiate a make out session that’ll lead to y’all fucking one way or another (he only ever does it if he is 100% sure that you’re feeling it because he knows you get easily embarrassed if he asks you straight up)

(this part is mainly written for me because i love the idea of sukuna being over at family functions, but it can be applied as part of the general hc heh) if you took him to any of your family functions as your plus one for the first time, all the aunts and uncles would be a bit wary of him at first due to all of the tattoos and piercings he has (sukuna swears he has never felt so self conscious before) but after they strike up a conversation with him and find out that he’s actually a good guy who knows what he wants to do in the future and is very loyal to you, they start to like him more.

your little cousins adore him and love it when he comes over because sukuna is a very tall high schooler which makes him the perfect candidate as a monkey bar

so when you noticed that all the little ones started to climb on his body and mess around with his hair, you were quick to react because you knew your boyfriend was easily irritable which prompted you to think he hated kids

but there was nothing to worry about because when you saw him playing around with them and even crack a smile, you felt your heart grow fuzzy at the sight and you knew right then and there that you wanted to stick by sukuna’s side for the rest of your life

and in the unfortunate circumstances that sukuna is too busy to make it to one of your functions, the first thing everyone asks is “where’s your boyfriend?” or “where’s ‘kuna? i wanna play with him!”

so you have to facetime him and let him know that everyone is wondering where he is (your phone is dead by the end of the night because after the adults get their turn at saying hi to your boyfriend, the kids snatch your phone and end up talking to him for the rest of the night)

but in conclusion, everyone is waiting for the day he gets on one knee to propose to you and your parents are itching to get to get call sukuna their son-in-law :))

also don’t forget that your parents want two grandchildren: one boy and one girl!

[huskymaine]

Hi Huskymaine,

I read your 'When did Kakashi start to read Icha-Icha Paradise?' post again... And the conversation between you and dinain made me LOLing for a good 2 minutes. Because that's exactly how I took that whole Kakashi and Jiraiya bond to be... I don't know... Casual, Easy Going, Take it Chill and yet Serious when it comes to important stuffs.

Jiraiya writing Smut novels and Kakashi reading it was honestly hilarious to me. And it still is. And I know that it's kind of a Guys thing like exchanging Porn materials...

But why certain part of Naruto Fandom is behaving like a Party Pooper and take everything so serious?? Like claiming Jiraiya to be a Sexual Harasser and Kakashi publicly reading a porn... So he is another Low Key sex offender...

Am like... No😑😑

Am telling you, I am a Girl and I am from Asia... Where crime rates against women are higher than western countries and yet I never once felt Jiraiya and Kakashi to be those harassers and sexist pigs.... But why Naruto fandom is like this???

The same people who claims that K and J as abusers.... Are fighting over whether Sasuke tops or bottoms in Fanfictions... And writing Explicit Headcanons....

I just don't understand this logic. Somehow reading an Explicit Fanfic is okay but when it is done by Jiraiya and Kakashi... They are labelled as (Sex/Misogyn)-ist...

What do you think about Kakashi and Jiraiya when it comes to Icha Icha???

Thanks for the ask Sparrow! 

I am also A Girl and from Asia *high five*. I don’t think that our standard are so different than the Western but I admit that in some part in Asia, sexual offence awareness is not as good as Western. Just a week before I read a manhwa about a woman dumped her baby in orphanage because her boyfriend sneakily doesn’t use protection when having sexual intercourse with her. The man is eager to marry her and take care of their family, so the woman doesn’t even have to search for a job, but she chose to give the baby to orphanage. Why? Because the woman had a dream college and she can’t attend it with baby on her care, while the man doesn’t want to take care of the baby without the woman on his side. In that chapter, when I read Western comments, it filled with condemnation to that scum lying sexist man.

But when I read my country’s people comment about that chapter, they bash the woman because “how could she dump the baby, isn’t the man ready to take care of her? He seems like a good and responsible man. Aren’t you a mother?”. Yeah because having unprotected sex without the woman’s consent is certainly responsible and the woman certainly have to accept being taken care by a man instead of chasing her dream. Because the woman is totally down to be a mother and has no other agenda. The sad part is some of that comments are from women in my country, because most of them are content to be “under man’s care”.

With that being said, still, I agree with you, Kakashi and Jiraiya are not Abusers. Jiraiya did some sexual harassment (peeking is sexual harassment) at certain degree, but I will not call him “predatory” or “sexist”, like the man in the example above. Unlike him, Jiraiya knows basic concept of consent, something that was explained on the latter part of this post (in case you wanna see it first). 

And certainly, Kakashi and Jiraiya are not “Sexual Offender” because of Icha-Icha.

Because that's exactly how I took that whole Kakashi and Jiraiya bond to be... I don't know... Casual, Easy Going, Take it Chill and yet Serious when it comes to important stuffs. Jiraiya writing Smut novels and Kakashi reading it was honestly hilarious to me. And it still is. And I know that it's kind of a Guys thing like exchanging Porn materials...

Yeah, Jiraiya and Kakashi’s relationship is like off-screen friendship for me. Their interaction always felt so mature and straightforward. You know 2 guys who was so different yet can sometimes talk with each other for their mutual interest? Jiraiya and Kakashi are those people. Most times they’re not involved with each other lives, but when it comes to things they both care about, Naruto, Minato, Konoha, or Icha Icha, they chill out somewhere and engage in a serious but also enjoyable discussion. A friendship that is so casual and simple, with no intense or mushy mushy feeling involved.

Also, one of my favorite Kakashi panel is this one.

Are you watching? Jiraiya-sensei!!!

It never fails to make me laugh. I know that talking to dead people is like a second nature for Kakashi at this point, but... My dude, please. I don’t know if this scene is supposed to be heartwarming or else, but it lowkey reminds me of my K-Pop bestie who ping my phone and like “Look, Jungkook is effortlessly doing backflip! Do you see it?” XD

But why certain part of Naruto Fandom is behaving like a Party Pooper and take everything so serious?? Like claiming Jiraiya to be a Sexual Harasser and Kakashi publicly reading a porn... So he is another Low Key sex offender... Am like... No😑😑

To not like a man because they’re pervert is completely okay. To be uncomfortable by it is also okay. That’s their personal preference and and their free choice. Each other’s tolerance for sexual stuff is different after all. 

But indeed to condemn the existence of men’s lust as Sexual Offence is unfair toward men and downright hypocrite. Having sexual desire is a part of being human and to deny that part of them for our fantasy of “heroic pure heart prince” kind of men is unreasonable. I suggest you guys to see this so good mature talk about men and their perv talk in this chapter of Kaguya-sama Love is War (the talk starts at page 10).

Lust is a part of human nature. Be it for man and woman. Even centuries ago in a solitude Imperial Palaces when virginity is a law and eunuchs got their testicle chopped, porn material trades are still happened, albeit very sneakily. So those who accuse men for their smut consumption as sexual offender, do you seriously never read or create smut that sexualizing man too? And if not, will you say that women who read and create smut about man are sexual offender, since that accusation should not be only reserved for male gender? 

If so, then you probably should stay away from me too, because *looking at rated M fics and doujin collections on my computer* I am a Sexual Offender.

Regarding Kakashi, Jiraiya,  Icha-Icha and Sex Offence in general...

Let’s talk about Kakashi first, because I am Kakashi stan haha.

I believe that it has been proven multiple times that Kakashi reads Icha-Icha for the plot. I elaborate about that more on this post. While he indeed almost constantly carried his smut book on his hand, he never deliberately flashed the content in front of minor or others who might get uncomfortable. Heck, even he sometimes mind his own business with his book and never leer at the real life sexual content in front of him.

(btw this is manga only scene)

Just because he has his Icha-Icha book almost constantly on his hand, doesn’t mean that he was constantly thinking about sexual stuff. Numerous times we’ve seen the case when Kakashi has his book at his hand but there’s completely no sexual thought in his head. 

In this panel Kakashi has “Icha-Icha Violence” book on his hand, but his mind clearly doesn’t think of the content in the book at all. He caught Sasuke’s back from hitting the floor and made an observation about Sasuke’s recent fight. 

Also,

“Back then they’d react to every little thing. They were cute back then...”

What a platonic thought in your head with an adult book in your hand, Kakashi-sensei XD 

So indeed Kakashi reads his smut book on public, but that didn’t harm anyone and at that point hardly make anyone uncomfortable, right? It’s as if his Icha-Icha book is a mere part of his accessory, and casual enough to not be constantly noticed as sexual gag. Just like his mask, at first we saw it as a weird design, but as the series goes, we hardly pay attention to is and so are people on Kakashi’s circle. How can it be called as sexual harassment?

Look at this totally serious discussion between Naruto, Sakura, and Kakashi with the casual cameo of Icha-Icha book.

The smut book in Kakashi’s hand, did Sakura, Naruto, or even Sai even notice it? If so, did it prevent them to have serious discussion with him? Did it make Kakashi’s mind filled with sexual thought and distract him from the serious matter in front of him? Did it distract Naruto and Sakura from listening to Kakashi at all?

Take a look at Naruto and Sakura’s attentive faces and you can find the answer.

I think I said enough about “Kakashi reads Icha-Icha book on public =/= sexual offender in any shape or form”. Like why is Kakashi a Sexual Offender exactly?

Move on different case, the only time Kakashi was accused for sexual harassment except something related to his Icha-Icha book is just one anime-only scene from Kazekage Rescue arc (the 1000 years of death toward Naruto doesn’t count because it’s a Japanese gag and as far as I know only international fans who saw it as sexual harassment). 

When Kakashi gave Sakura a casual-intention advice and not realizing the social fact that maybe Sakura, as a woman, will not appreciate a comment from Kakashi, as a man, about her body. Like, it’s not a form of teasing or anything, he spoke it as his form of genuine concern and just can’t see the problem with it.    

(Btw I just know when I compile this post that the scene is an Anime-only scene haha)

I’ll.... let you guys decide if that’s a sexual harassment or not (and if you do I really wanna hear your argument about it). At that time, Kakashi truly didn’t think that comment can be interpreted sexually (and so I am). It’s not like he’s leering at Sakura’s body while he made that comment, he spoke with a genuine concern for Sakura’s health. As I said on my previous post, there’s a platonic gap between Kakashi and his students to the point that he can’t comprehend the possibility of something sexual between him and his students. 

At this point, calling him a perv is even an unfair overstatement for him. Let alone Sexual Offender.

Next is Jiraiya. Naruto’s Pervy Sage, Jiraiya.

[Just in case there exist people who hate Jiraiya among my followers or other Kakashi fan who read this post, below “keep reading” line, I stop talking about Kakashi and the bottom post is filled by my neutral observation about Jiraiya, with his pros and cons. Also including the stuff that made this post have the “anti” tags and the “trigger warning” tag. If some of you are uncomfortable with those, you can stop as this point.

You have been warned.]

He’s indeed the writer of Icha Icha series. To write that book he peeked on women’s bath, yes that was a legit sexual harassment. The harassment is only the peeking part, not the writing smut part. As far as I know even in our world and society there’s no sexual offence about writing smut.

He often jokes about sexual stuffs in front of minors, and his choice of words can be ill-phrased. It’s completely valid for others to be bothered by it, because in the end how to treat jokes are depend on the recipient, a.k.a us, the audience. If some people dislike him for that, then so be it. It’s understandable for me and they have every right to.

But if you ask me personally, I can tolerate Jiraiya’s perviness.

Why? It’s because of what you always say, @captnjacksparrow​ , in the end the character’s feeling that matters. 

He jokes with Konan about her adult beauty, but Konan didn’t get offended by it at all, even when she’s grown up. She was just sad by the fact that her teacher will leave him. 

He jokes with Naruto about his Sexy Jutsu, then Naruto protested for it, then Jiraiya trained him with no Sexy Jutsu involved after all, and Naruto let the matter slide. Case closed.

He’s a perv, but there’s no in-universe scene when women get actively harmed by him.

He peeked at women’s bath, and for once rightfully punished for it. When he told a story about it, he doesn’t protest or sugarcoat his punishment at all, he's completely open with it and implied that he gets what he deserves.

So in my personal interpretation, yes Jiraiya is a perv, but he’s somewhat still way behind the line of “harmless”, didn’t step out toward “harmful” and “predatory” category. And that’s why I can tolerate his perviness.

I am not saying that peeking is right. And I am not saying that Jiraiya’s sexual gags and jokes are always okay. If some people get repulsed by them, they have every right to, because in the end, it’s their preference and feeling that matters.

As for me, Jiraiya is a pervert man who has his own bad side, but also has his own good side.

There’s a phrase I’ve read on a book that was somewhat translated in English like this : 

“A Saint can appear like a Sinner when they stepped on an ant, and a Sinner can appear like a Saint when they put down their murder weapon”.

I feel like this phrase is painfully accurate when it comes to fandom discourse, especially about, ahem..... ”antagonist apologist”.

You know what I am talking about, aren’t you ( >,o )

Anyway, same case with Jiraiya. All people on Naruto fandom don’t have to like Jiraiya. Nor tolerating Jiraiya’s antics that was admittedly not always well-received by everyone. But if in any case you’re willing to look past his flaws, he has his good sides, that can be seen by Naruto, Nagato, Konan, Yahiko, Kakashi, Minato, Tsunade, and even Orochimaru. That made them remember Jiraiya fondly even after his death.

He loves Tsunade but when it’s clear that there’s only Dan in Tsunade’s heart, he respected Tsunade’s choice and doesn’t force her to reciprocate his feeling.

He taught Naruto to get stronger for 3 years, at the same time protected Naruto from people who tried to get him, to the point that Naruto himself doesn’t feel hunted, doesn’t feel like a person with a target on his back. In Jiraiya’s side, Naruto is shown happy, bratty, pouting, peaceful, overall a kid that was safe on an adult’s side.

He teaches Naruto and Ame orphans about his life lesson to break the cycle of hatred. The fact that he’s a perv doesn’t make it invalid, because if so then the “those who abandon one of their comrade are worse than trash” lesson is invalid ever since Obito becomes the delusional Harbinger of Disaster.

Lastly, he’s someone who at least know the basic concept of consent. It was proven by a scene that I’ll explain below.

Do you know that there exists a worse, if not the worst, woman’s sex offense scene for me in the whole Naruto franchise?

The act that churned my stomach, that I can’t just tolerate because of the fact that the woman involved is actively getting harmed?

The act that didn’t get treated as a joke, but the offenders literally get their manhood questioned?

The act using woman as a mere tool without considering the woman’s feeling at all?

The act that is sadly get overlooked by the fandom?

That act, is this one below.

(Trigger warning : forced prostitution).

(@captnjacksparrow I am so sorry I know you love Itachi but I have to bash him on this one)

That woman right there, is actively getting harmed because of nothing more than her attractiveness. Because a pair of men want to use her body as a sexual tool for their benefit.

That 2 men with black and bloody cloud cloak right there, at least on that case, is the legit Sex Offenders who will go straight to jail for it in our world.

And the one who saves her, is Jiraiya.

If it’s difficult to care for a random gal, then let’s put ourselves in her shoes for a moment.

You are a woman. A pretty, but ordinary defenseless woman, judging by the lack of shinobi headband. Maybe you are a prostitute, maybe you are a normal hooker, maybe you just like to wear skimpy clothes, but one thing for sure, one day when you just mind your own business, a man with his colleague hypnotize you, with an order to seduce a certain man. You have no choice but to comply with that order. You met the target, winked at him, and he was lured by your seduction.

Now we talk about hypocritical scenario. What if the target has no idea that you are not in your own mind, complied with your seduction, then you and that man engaged in a sexual intercourse? An intercourse that is in no way under your consent at all. What if either in the middle of intercourse, or after it, or even just right before it, you come to your right mind, and feel wronged by the whole situation, as you should? You have no idea about the identity of your brainwasher. You can’t blame the target because as far as he knows you are the one who engaged first and consented for it. To whom you protest for the injustice that befell upon you?

But now we’re talking about what happened on canon, which is thankfully way better than that hypocritical scenario. What if the target knows that you’ve been brainwashed? Then he released you from that brainwashing, without doing anything, because your clothes is still intact. You faint, because you are an ordinary woman who has no luxury of chakra to make you recover yourself. The man is in hurry to catch up saving a child in his care, so he can’t just search for a safe place for you. So he brought you with him, because at least you can’t get attacked (again) when you are on his side. Then he placed your unconscious body behind him, gently, with no unnecessary touch involved.

Now, in that scenario, which one is a sex offender, and which one is the man who has decency to not go further with you after knowing that you have no consent for the interaction? Which one is your attacker, and which one is your protector?

When I first watch it like as 14 years old girl, I don’t feel anything at all. But now, when I grew up and knowing how severe the lack of consent in sexual interaction....

You know what’s on my mind after recovering from the shock of that scene?

“Thank God the target was JIRAIYA.”

Tl;dr : Every person’s tolerance of sexual stuff is different, and we have every right to not tolerate men’s perviness at certain degree depends on each’s comfort. But I think regarding their consumption of smut contents we have to leave those men alone, as long as they didn’t harm anyone. I once accidentally saw my brother’s porn collection when I was 12 and let it slide with a laugh. Imagine how awkward and unpleasant my family dynamic will be if I accuse my bro as “sexual offender” or “predatory”. 

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 21, part one

(Masterpost) (Other Canary Stuff) (Previous Post)

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

Reunions

All together in The Unclean Realm, The Yunmeng trio find a spot inside where they can sit down and have a proper Yanli-Wuxian reunion, while Jiang Cheng sits across the table watching them. 

For years Jiang Cheng has been rejecting Wei Wuxian's free and easy affection; now Yanli might be the only person Wei Wuxian offers to hug until Wen Yuan comes into his life.

Jiang Cheng is really going through it. He'll do nearly anything for Yanli--except, uh, stay in the goddamn inn with her when she's sick and the Wens are hunting them--and what makes her happiest is Wei Wuxian. He's brought them together, and so he's happy, even though he's excluded from their dynamic. This absolutely fucking kills me.

Here Jiang Yanli and Wei Wuxian are sweetly pledging to always keep the trio together and put each other first. Neither of them will keep this promise. 

Wei Wuxian will leave first, to take the Wens to the Burial Mounds. Jiang Yanli will leave second, staying in Lanling at Jin Zixuan's request instead of accompanying Jiang Cheng to retrieve Wei Wuxian. Jiang Cheng will be the last to let go.

(more after the cut)

Nie Huaisang comes literally running in, filled with joy at Wei Wuxian's return. When he goes to pat his shoulder Wei Wuxian flinches away.

I feel like something important is happening in this rapid sequence of glances and expressions between Wei Wuxian and Nie Huaisang. NHS is startled, and WWX realizes he's shown something about himself that he didn't want to show. He glances at Jiang Cheng and back at NHS before laughing and covering his slip with a squeeze of NHS’s hand.

NHS switches from shocked to cheerful just as quickly, helping with the coverup. It’s like they have a quick mutual agreement, rooted in their history of shared shenanigans, to not point out that something is wrong.

Meanwhile, Lan Wangji is wandering around the grounds, having feelings. At this point it's presumably been at least a couple of weeks since their breakup fight. 

He sees Wei Wuxian sitting contemplating his flute, and as he sees him he goes from sort of neutrally apprehensive to full on angry judging, complete with sword clenching. 

Part of this may be that his feelings are hurt over their fight, but the larger issue is his distress over Wei Wuxian's apparent heretical cultivation.  That, at any rate, is what's on his mind when he's selecting music, later in the episode, and when he's selecting flashbacks. 

Party Time

Later, the Nies host an excruciating party to celebrate Wei Wuxian's slaughter of Wen Chao return. Jiang Yanli is sharing a table with Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng is sharing a table with his crippling social anxiety. 

Everyone starts grilling Wei Wuxian about his sword, because that's suddenly all anybody cares about even though Jiang Yanli, Nie Huaisang, Meng Yao, and probably plenty of other people don't carry swords most of the time.

Wei Wuxian says "after the Wens caught me, Wen Zhuliu crushed my core, so I can't use my sword any more, too bad so sad, can we change the subject?" And everyone is very understanding and admires his resiliency. HA HA HA HA HA. Of course he doesn't opt for that simple lie, but instead mopes audibly without saying anything.

Nie Huasiang tries to change the subject by asking how he killed Wen Chao. Apparently "I had a sexy ghost mostly flay him" isn't good party chat, though, so neither Wei Wuxian nor Jiang Cheng opts to tell the story. 

Everyone lapses into awkward silence, all the more noticeable because there are no dancers, musicians, or entertainers of any kind at this event. OP has gone to audit-kickoff meetings that were more fun than cultivator banquets.

Moment of Clarity

While the awkwardness builds, we hear the sounds of the Song of Clarity. Lan Wangji is skipping the party, which is part of why Wei Wuxian is so mopey. But instead of sitting and stewing in his anger, Lan Wangji has shifted gears, and is starting to work on his "save Wei Wuxian's soul" plan.

This isn't the God-botherer version of soul saving, however. Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian disagree about correct practice, but they both are still practitioners within the same spiritual system, and the majority of their beliefs are closely aligned.

Lan Wangji has powerful magic at his disposal, and now he's taking a step back from his plan of forcing persuading Wei Wuxian to give up heterodoxy, and instead he's preparing to use his magic to offset the consequences of Wei Wuxian's choice.

He still isn't ready to accept that choice, but he's working on it. This is a big moment for Lan Wangji's relationship with Wei Wuxian. Lan Wangji is a deeply, deeply uncompromising person, as well as being super bossy, and he’s taking his first steps toward supporting Wei Wuxian’s free agency. 

Wei Wuxian leaves the party in the middle of Yao's toast, saying "I have to see you and your lover all over my tumblr dashboard but I am NOT going to listen to you talk!" He takes his wine to go roam around near Lan Wangji's quarters to pine and feel conflicted.  Lan Wangji has thoughtfully set up a projection scrim to catch his shadow and make the pining easier.

Jiang Cheng comes looking for Wei Wuxian, partly to reprimand him for rudeness and partly to see what the hell is wrong with him. Jiang Cheng is trying very hard to be pleasant. He's bad at it, but he's trying.

Wei Wuxian is trying to be unpleasant and he's pretty good at it. He won't say why he isn't using his sword. He’s obviously super fucking depressed about it, calling his former self childish for liking to spar, and only smiling once during the whole exchange.

He finally tells Jiang Cheng that he will always want to do the opposite of what Jiang Cheng tells him.  Jiang Cheng lets this go with an eyeroll.

(Point Break Quote Alert)

But actually this is a sign of trouble, right here in River City, with a capital T and that rhymes with P and that stands for abandoning the Jiang Clan. Wei Wuxian has just told Jiang Cheng he has no intention of obeying him; not just about the sword, but in general. That's no way for a disciple to talk. 

OP has nothing to say about this gif. OP watches gif over and over and over and over

Wei Wuxian ends the conversation by tapping Jiang Cheng's chest with his flute and then walking away. The (still nameless) flute has no problem with this - does it, like Subian, recognize Jiang Cheng as an extension of Wei Wuxian?

The next day, Wei Wuxian is chilling in his room, looking ungodly sexy in his bold slashed robe, holy frack. I mean, he is sex-on-toast at all times, but the cut of his post-burial-mounds combo is particularly heart-stopping when he decides to stick a knee or two out. 

He's meditating and flashing back to being in the burial mounds, where he was also meditating. I admire his ability to fractally meditate about meditating. 

Chenqing

He didn't put a sock on the doorknob, so Jiang Yanli comes in and startles him. He brandishes his flute at her before calming down. The flute definitely does not see her as an extension of Wei Wuxian, because when she touches it, it smokes and then knocks her out of the frame so fast it's comical.

Did they put her in a jerk vest for that shot?

Wei Wuxian hides the flute from her, freaked out by its behavior. She, however, is unfazed, and gives him the first & only affirmation he's gotten about his new cultivation path, and says the flute is "like Mother's Zidian."  She kind of walks him through the whole "first class spiritual tool" concept, beaming with approval and telling him he must name the flute.  

Jiang Yanli is hardcore Jiang Clan, seriously. Freedom and impossibility. You survived 3 months of mystery trauma and now you're all fucked up? We'll roll with it. You have a demon flute now? Rock on. You're going to use necromancy to beat the other clans in a group hunt? Gold star for you.

He names the flute Chenqing, which @hunxi-guilai​ translates and explains in depth over here.

Bichen

Lan Wangji has finished practicing the Song of Clarity, and regardless of whether it's had an effect on Wei Wuxian, he himself seems much calmer. 

As Wei Wuxian contemplates Chenqing, Lan Wangji contemplates Bichen and remembers Wei Wuxian's assertions about resentful energy way back in Gusu summer school. 

This time when he grips his sword, it's loosely, as if he's made some progress with his anger.

Soup

Jiang Yanli sits Wei Wuxian down for some soup, and talks to him about what's going on with him, saying he's changed. He insists he's fine and works very hard to be convincing.

She's not convinced but says she won't press him, and then abruptly shifts tone and works very hard to act like everything is fine. She leaves, taking a lot of soup with her, and Wei Wuxian remarks that it's unfair she is giving so much to Jiang Cheng. But of course, some of it is secretly for Jin Zixuan.

Everything isn't fine, as Wei Wuxian scream-meditates with resentful energy just rolling off of him. He's got some of the dark energy stored in the Yin sword in his bag of holding, but I get the impression that a lot of it is just stored in his body.

Club Ruohan

At some point in the episode we stop in to check on Wen Ruohan. He and his wind machine are mad that Wen Chao is dead. 

Meanwhile, his interpretive dances with the Yin iron now turn his puppets into...Klingons? Sure, why not. 

Literal Stand-Up Meeting 

Jiang Cheng needs Wei Wuxian at games night a meeting and comes running to Jiang Yanli to find him. He is freaking out and she tells him to chill. 

No matter what fuckery is going on in the world, Jiang Yanli is going to find herself a nice little outdoor table and she is going to sit her ass down and have some tea and civilized lady activity. Queen.

This shot of the meeting is composed so nicely. The blocking (placement of actors) in this scene encapsulates the familial dynamics, and I’ll talk about that as soon as I finish admiring Jiang Cheng’s proportions. 

Here we have four clans represented by four family pairs around the game war table. The Jin cousins, despite their differing personalities, are side by side, matchy-matchy, in lockstep. Jin Zixuan lets Jin Zixun do the talking for him, so maintains his own rep as a reasonable guy.  

The Nie brothers are even closer together, also in matching greys, Nie Huaisang giving all of his attention to his brother/clan leader. You can see his careful watching of his brother's temper...not fearful for himself, but fearful for Mingjue.

The Lan brothers have a growing distance between them; they are in different colors (which is pretty usual for them), and Lan Wangji is standing well away from his brother and the rest of the group. Partly this is his personality, but it's also symbolic of his growing distance from his brother and other proper cultivators. He's carrying WWX-related secrets, and he's wrestling with what he's learned.  

While Nie Huaisang is looking at Mingjue, Lan Xichen is turning around to see what's up with his own volatile sibling.

Lastly you have Jiang Cheng, alone in the room, with his shidi nowhere to be found, and seriously feeling the heat because of his isolation. 

He's alone in his purple, but the color value (lightness/darkness) of his robes exactly matches Xichen's. 

And Xichen, bless him, makes a point of speaking to him respectfully as a fellow clan leader, gives him a path out of the "where is your brother" conversation, and is just generally his kind and helpful self with Jiang Cheng.

Next: Awkwardness Increases!

[hes-writer]

Patreon Masterlist

These are exclusive fics that you can read on my Patreon!

* = complete, ^ = in-progress, + = will be posted on tumblr, (s) = smut (implied or mentioned) writing count: 78 pieces

**billing cycle currently paused** | new patrons will still be charged

This is a reupload of my masterlist with sneak peeks of each piece so you know what's up :D

Multi-Part Series | One Shots | Drabbles | Extras

* Unwavering (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) - 6.5k, the one where harry cheats (again)

"Right. Maybe we can go out tonight to grab some dinner," She suggested, a hopeful glint in her eyes and he almost felt guilty for putting her on the back burner of his mind. "I really have to go, baby," Peeking his head around her frame, he spotted the untouched toast and apple juice resting on where he should be. "I'm sorry."

^ + Roommate Series (3) (4) (5) (6) - 9.8k, the one where harry and y/n are roommates

He sighed, “I finished my coffee ages ago. I was just waiting for you to finish studying so we could leave together and go home,” Y/N dropped her fingers from his wrist, slouching the slightest bit as butterflies attacked her stomach. “Don’t look at me like that. I just wanted you to get home safe,” He nudged her forehead with the ball of his palm, his face contorting to annoyance.

^ + Notes on Camp (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) - 16.5k, the one where harry and y/n are camp counsellors

Y/N looked around to be met with puckered lips and clenched hands as the campers practically requested for her to kiss their favourite counsellor. Wide, hopeful stares were willing her to commit.

“Alright, alright,” She bent her upper body to reach his cheek, licking over her lips once before pressing it on his skin. It was only a quick peck and then she pulled back. He stayed unmoving.

Jacky and Emy poked their finger at him on opposite sides. His cheek dimpling with their small indents. “Maybe you should do it again?”

* Friends Don't (1) (2) (3)- 3k, the one where lines are crossed

“It’s Harry Styles fanfiction on Tumblr,” She suggested a conversation, shyly smiling in embarrassment. “I can see that,” He murmured, using his thumb to scroll through the rest of the story, “It’s . . . interesting. People write these about me?” His retort made the situation seem like an utter surprise.

* Digress, Progress, Regress Series - 5k, the one where harry falls out of love

Y/N wondered if there was a chance to fixing what has been lost--what has disappeared as the canvas soaked through in a permeated osmosis. Coating the brush of blue with white paint took several layers to completely cover the mistakes. There had to be an effort in wanting to make the faults and errors completely opaque from the eye; the bleary, watery irises soaked with tears, dampening her lashes in a thick haze as she cried.

Tickle Fights (1)  - 1.2k, the one where bff!y/n teases harry about his boner

“What’s going on here, Harry?” The light tone of her voice indicated that she was teasing him, paired with the subtle movements of her lower half. Harry whined in response, feeling the blood rush downwards to make him even stiffer. “Does this feel good? Got hard over me straddling you, huh?” It was almost degrading, the way Y/N formed her question yet Harry couldn’t help a whimper from lingering in the air. He nodded, hands sliding down to grip at her moving hips.

Real Mature (1)  (2)  - part two is patron exclusive! - 603 words, the one where bff!harry and y/!n fight

“You shouldn’t have. I’m sorry for being bitter about you and Ruby,” She rested her forearms on his shoulders in a slant when he stood to his full height. “I know you’re happy with her,” Harry gave her a shy smile that confirmed his words. Ruby is someone special to Harry now and Y/N had to learn how to share his time, attention, and affection. “I reckon I’m just missing you a lot more now,” Y/N’s tone was sad and despondent, trailing her gaze to the floor where she almost chuckled at Harry’s fuzzy bunny slippers which she had gotten him.

^ Fine Line Series: Adore You - 1.1k the one where harry and y/n are friends with benefits

Still, with her back against the wall and Harry’s fingers still gripping her hips—she waited for his response. I told you I loved you. Say it back, Y/N thought. “I love her, Y/N,” He mumbled against her neck in a drunken stupor. So close.

Kinkmas Blurbs (1 - 7) - 4.6k, the one where it’s all smutty

Maybe it was the way that his jaw ticked harshly every time he threw his head back at a particularly good stroke. You wondered what he was imagining that had him bucking his hips to his fist before realizing that the movements would probably cause you to wake up. Still, his hooded lids didn’t peel open—not until a core shaking fondle of his heavy balls forced a choked whine out of his throat.

Harry’s neck snapped to your figure, catching the way you looked at him as if you were in distress that he wasn’t cumming anytime soon—not when you were there, willing and able to help.

“Fuck, love. ‘M sorry,” He mumbled, not stopping the flicks of his wrist. In fact, you swore that you could hear the squelching of his clear pre-cum squishing between his fingers.

The Secretary (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) 11k, the one where harry is the CEO and y/n is the assistant (cheating fic)

Two months ago, Y/N unburied a not-so-hidden secret that Harry tried to bury. Two months ago, Y/N walked in on her boyfriend and his secretary fucking on his office table. Two months ago, Y/N experienced everything from pain and discomfort, to disappointment and being scornful. She threaded the line of confronting him or waiting for the day he came forward and admitted it himself. There was a desire for Y/N to see Harry sweat beneath her beady eyes, watching him scratch the back of his pants in a nervous manner. She wanted to hear him stutter as he spat an excuse, she yearned to see him pleading with his gorgeous green eyes for her to stay.  Y/N craved for his throat to close up, whimpers choked from his trachea because he was losing his stability as she walked away from him.

(s) Tension (1) (2) - 5.3k, the one where harry and y/n hate each other

“S’that why you hate me so much?”

His fingertips tapped his thigh methodically, crumpling a faint thud against his jeans. With how close they were sitting, Y/N’s bare knee brushed against his clothing. A burn of desire and anticipation lit inside of her like a dose of gasoline another in a flaming hot fire.

Harry shook his head, “Don’t hate you."

Champagne Problems- 4.4k, the one where marriage is a sensitive topic, the 1 - coming soon!

The freshly popped bottle of champagne poured into the flute on the table beside her bubbled and simmered, the sizzling reaction of the golden liquid ignited a moment of realization within her. The reason why her body felt more weighted, why tears filled her glazed eyes, pricking her corneas and threatening to spill down her face. Y/N’s heart had cracked–she was certain that everybody around her could hear it.

One Shot

(s) Achy Back - 813 words, the one where harry draws y/n a bath

A pout sat on her face as Harry stopped himself from ducking his head and catching her plush lips with his, craving the sweet taste of her and her strawberry lip balm. Her arms wrapped around his snatched waist, halting his breath at the tightness of her embrace and settling for a kiss on her forehead, the scent of her shampoo wafting in his nostrils, knowing that she had taken shower hours prior.

A Letter to the Man I’ve Loved - 1.5k, the one where harry receives a letter from his ex

Is it really worth it to look back in retrospect about ‘what had been’ when she can think about ‘what could have been’ if both of them realized their faults? Granted, he was more resilient in that sense than her, but he was no better at the time. She made mistakes and it had haunted her to this day, practically killing her with each moment she spent without him by her side.

Renegade - 981 words, the one where harry and y/n do a tiktok dance

“What are y’doing?” Harry asked, his eyes wide as his large palms ruffled the fluffy towel on his damp curls. The steam from the bathroom escaped to your bedroom where you were panting with effort, your chest heaving so hard that the peaks of your breasts rose with each breath.

“Uh, what are you doing?” You retorted slowly, hiding your hands behind your back were your fingers gripped your phone. Your thumb dug hard on the volume bottom, frantically trying to decrease the music from the phone speaker.

(s) Drop the Towel - 644 words, the one where harry does the ‘drop the towel’ challenge

You gasped at the sight, the knife clanging on the marble counter, “Ooh, hi there,”

He smirked cockily, watching your eyes observe his body, tongue subconsciously peeking out between your lips until you snapped your head to the window, “Oh my god! There are people out there, Harry!” You wailed in alarm, bending over to hand him his towel.

All I Ask - 2.2k, the one where feelings aren’t mutual

“I don’t want to be scared of what will happen tomorrow or if all we have is right now because we’ll have nothing left but I am,” A sob ripped through his throat, emotions were heightened tenfold because she was so close yet so far and they were still Harry and Y/N but at the same time they weren’t. They’ve changed over the span of one night. “All we have is tonight,”

Little Prince - 583 words, the one where 7-year-old harry takes care of his best friend

“Y/N? Y/N! Are you okay? I’m so so sorry, I didn’t mean for that to happen. I swear I wasn’t mad at you, I was just jok- Why are you smiling?” Harry yelped, panic evident in his shrill voice. His hands wandered towards her face, tilting it left to right, up and down, searching for any visible and invisible injuries besides the bump on her forehead.

Stressed Out - 1.8k, the one where y/n has a huge term paper due

“What d’ya mean I don’t get it?” He closed the paperback, making sure to clip in his bookmark to save his spot.

A pregnant pause slithered the room. Her fingers typing against the keys of her laptop ceased as she shot him a glare, “You’re not studying, are you? All you do is write songs, fiddle with a few instruments and sing it in front of people who adore you,”

Valentine’s Day - 1.5k, the one where harry runs into trouble and y/n is there to save him

“Shit! Are you crazy?” Y/N gasped in surprise when the passengers seat was occupied, the door opening and slamming shut all while the car moved at a speed of 15 km/h —cursing her forgetfulness for not clicking the locks shut.

“Keep driving!” The passenger shouted, looking back through the windshield.

Dream With Me - 1.3k, the one where y/n has trouble sleeping

Harry’s admiration gets interrupted when a sudden jolt took over Y/N’s body. He dropped his mouth open a little in shock, rubbing her back soothingly when she whimpered quietly, “Shh, it’s okay. You’re safe with me,” She must have had experienced one of those moments when she was falling until her vision drooped to a shaded black.

Pet Name - 1.2k, the one where bff!harry just wants y/n to call him by his pet name again

His voice emulated a soft, syrupy tone that lingered in the air whenever he spoke. He was the colour honey itself–golden and yellow like the colour of the sun. Harry was bright in its sense of intelligence and the way he illuminated the whichever room he entered. His kindness catered to everyone’s needs and left pieces of his heart wherever he went.

Harry was honey.

Shave - 768 words, the one where harry helps y/n shave her coochie

She sniffles some more, “I’m trying to shave, H. It’s so itchy but I-I can’t reach down there,”

Y/N began to sob. The rattle of the razor clanking on the bathtub floor where she sat her bum on the edge. Her baby bump was causing her to teeter over the porcelain which urged Harry to swiftly plant his hands on her to keep her steady.

“I’m so huge! I’m the size of a house,” Y/N palmed the crest of her bump, rubbing it loosely as she admired the stretched skin yet slightly wishing that it would disappear and she was holding their baby in her arms instead.

(s) Don’t Worry, Darling - 1.5k, the one where y/n rides harry

He slipped down the headboard, resting his back flat on the mattress with Y/N sliding with him. She positioned her feet to rest near his knees, wrapping their limbs together so she could have some sort of sanity whilst Harry incepted on his shattering thrusts. Feet were planted on the mattress to give his lower half elevation to propel his hips against Y/N’s core. Harry’s fingers left white marks on her skin, gripping the plush flesh and essentially spreading Y/N open as he rapidly shoved his dick over and over inside of her with no signs of slowing down. He staggered for a few moments when her pulsing core emitted dazing throbs over his leaking cock but Y/N was quick to duplicate and resume the pace he had set with the movement of her hips.

To Be Loved - 2.3k, the one where y/n’s feelings are more than friendly

“I love you. Don’t you love me back?”

Harry’s eyes visibly widened, clearly taken aback by the question spewing from Y/N’s mouth. Her heat cheeks and a shy stance; knees knocking against his knobby ones while her dainty hands interlaced her fingers.

Revelation - 2.1k, the one where famous!y/n and harry are spotted together (pre-relationship)

Before there were Harry and Y/N--the power couple--there was Harry and Y/N.

Y/N, who was one of the most sought after female artists in the industry because of her angelic voice. The woman who had managed to catch the lingering stares of every household and the ears of many listeners with her truthful songs; narrative from the experiences she had gone through and shared through the art of songwriting.

Harry, who was quite the artist for the night. Harry’s limbs were being pulled metaphorically every which to ensure that the cameras captured him clapping respectfully in the audience. Others were asking him to stay for a bit more time backstage for content for an upcoming video. Right now, he was sat in his uncomfortable chair beside a handful of producers and well-known singers. A brief hug and whisper with Ariana Grande were enough for their fans to implode about a possible collaboration, granted that Harry had written a song for her album before. But Harry was certain that that feature wasn’t coming for a long while.

Apple Cheeks - 1.1k, the one where harry says something and y/n isn’t listening

Clearing his throat, he began, “I love you, Y/N. And I know that it might be too soon considering how short our relationship has been so far but I-I really do have strong feelings for you,”

Harry dropped his gaze as soon as he managed to peel off the first three words from his hoarse throat. “You don’t have to say it back. I just wanted to let you know that I really care for you and me. I definitely something for us in the future and I hope you feel the same,”

Dreadful seconds shivered up Harry’s spine. His stare was still fixed on her shuffling feet and the floor. It was painful to hear nothing but silence so Harry decided to courageously lift his head up.

Affliction - 1.5k, the one where Harry breaks down (TW: depressive thoughts)

It wasn’t even that Harry did not know how to say ‘no’ because he truly did. However, anyone would be worn-out by the amount of exhaustion carried on his back. That cold shudder of loneliness--even when he wasn’t alone-- because nobody shared the experience of defeat with him. The twitch of his ears straining to listen when nobody would do the same for him. A subtle jerk of the corners of his lips because he could not keep the smile plastered on his face like paint chipping off the drywalls. The flutter of tired lids waiting to be shut tightly as tears were wrung from his green eyes, lashes tickling his skin underneath the violent colour of his eye bags.

From the Dining Table - 748 words, the one where y/n’s new boyfriend looks a lot like harry

Y/N wondered if her former lover shared the same thoughts as she did. The girl that he woke next to—was she still there? Did they share the bed together—not just in the morning—but the nights as well? If so, did Harry love her like he did with Y/N? Or was he just pretending to be okay like she was?

Blanket for Two - 990 words, the one where y/n kicks harry out of bed

And now, Harry was in bed with the woman he loves. Her light snores echoing in the dim room and he was staring up at the ceiling, shivering in his bones. If she were awake, Y/N probably would have made a snide, joking comment about how he shouldn’t sleep naked, especially in the winter.  Not like she didn’t do that either--she was practically naked with the thin camisole over her body.  The difference was that Y/N had an extra layer of blanket keeping her warm, shielding her skin from the night air and Harry only had the friction of his palms rubbing against his arms.  He was sure that he was a hint away from his teeth chattering. Harry had half the mind to dip his freezing feet beneath the blanket and jolt her awake with the change in temperature.

That’ll show her, he thought.

Around 1:32 - 3.2k, the one where y/n has a wet dream

“What?” Harry spat, tugging his shirt over his head, waiting for you to form a coherent excuse. “‘Think that jus’ because you woke up horny from a dream that y’can touch yourself? What a slut.  Are you that desperate?”

Your cheeks flamed at his words of degradation, doubling your arousal and one that had you smushing your thighs together to relieve the ache. You rolled your eyes as he continued his rant instead of using the time to keep you satisfied.  That was his job, wasn’t it? To make you cum and make you feel nothing but pleasure, yet here he was shaming you for touching yourself. Granted, you did it without his permission and done so while he was asleep beside you, but still.

“Wouldn’t have touched myself if you treated me well.”

+ Stories in My Eyes - 1.2k, the one where dad!Harry gets woken up in the middle of the night

And while he liked to think that he had gotten the hang of—quite literally— his kid dangling on his leg like some sort of koala, pulling on his hair every time he gave Beau a piggy back ride, and the random visits late at night where the small child would stand at the doorway with his teddy bear so quietly only to say, “Can I sleep with you and mumma?” He was not at all prepared for tonight’s’ events.

+ Feather Boa - 1.5k, the one where harry comes home after the Grammys

Y/N rolled her eyes, “Oh, stop that!”

“Stop what?” Harry nudged the strap of his custom tote bag higher on his shoulder.

“You just won a Grammy, you goose!”

Harry’s gaze softened, endeared at how happy Y/N was for him. She was jumping on the tips of her toes, hands clasped in front of her as she stared at him with admiration and awe.

(s) Roughed Up - 2.8k, the one where harry’s domestic and y/n’s mind wanders

You whimper in return, almost collapsing straight on his body when Harry uses your body to move you up and down his cock. His curls flop on the soft pillow beneath his head, sweat matting the tiny hairs to his face. The way he looks at you with such intensity and a certain kind of awe as if he couldn’t believe that this was really happening is rewarding. Hooded eyes observing how your body twitches in his grip, gasping at how strong he felt underneath you like you were merely a ragdoll to be played wit

Pudding Cups - 1k, the one after harry steals food from the kitchen (Notes on Camp Extras)

“So is it common practice for counsellors to steal food from the kitchen?”

Harry lifts his head up at inquiry, shifting his attention from gently taking out the contents of the reusable bag towards Y/N.  She was laying on his mattress, flat on her back as she stared at the wooden ceiling.  If she looked closely, Y/N was sure that his light bulb was flickering the tiniest bit and usually, she would’ve been freaking out over the fact that she was in the middle of the woods, hovering over a potential power cut.  But the fear subsided once she reminded herself that Harry was around.

“Hopefully not,” He muses with a suggestive eyebrow.

Drabbles:

(s) Drabble #1: Fratboy!Harry - 469 words, the one where y/n meets fratboy!harry at a party

Y/N snapped her head towards the member. When she applied for the rush, she didn’t expect that she would have to sleep with someone in order to officially join the sorority.  “What? Why him?

Sadie chuckled, sensing the panic in her voice. “Don’t worry, Harry’s nice. Besides, everybody does it,” She swirled her drink around, mixing the liquids together. Her lashes draped over her cheeks, almost touching the apples. “Are you in?”

Drabble #2: Asshole!Harry - 848 words, the one where harry cheats

You were calm, silent, and patient to see where he would take the conversation. Guilt was not present when you stood face to face in a battle of tranquility that pierced through your heart. His eyes gleamed in concealed smugness while his tongue curled in endless apologies. You knew him too well that he didn’t even stand a chance to hide his true intentions. But to Harry, you were a naive little girl that failed to acknowledge the difference between his acting and the truth.

(s) Drabble #3: Tease - 1.4k, the one where harry teases y/n

Harry plunged two fingers in her hole carefully, biting his lip to suppress the sound he was bound to release from the feeling of her wet walls suffocating his digits. He delivered punctual thrust, making sure to graze her sensitive spot to heighten her arousal. “Harry,”

He stepped back abruptly, pulling his fingers out and creating distance between them. “We have dinner to get to,”

(s) Drabble #4: Dessert - 1.7k, the one where y/n makes dinner but harry wants dessert

His thoughts were always about her no matter how hard he tried not to. And the fact that she took the time out of her day to prepare him something that he will enjoy; well, Harry’s heart just about swelled up to three times the size in his thumping chest.

She pulled away, shaking her head adamantly, “No way! I spent all day cooking and you’re not gonna skip it just to eat my pussy,”

He the corners of his eyes squinted in offence at her description, “Your pussy’s top tier, baby.” Harry ‘tsked’ his tongue, “If yeh didn’t know that already, then I’m doing a horrid job,”

(s) Drabble #5: Mine - 579 words, the one where harry is obsessed with y/ns tits

But he couldn’t exactly do that when all Harry wanted to do was do her. The smooth skin was supported by a navy blue push-up bra; he could tell by the lace mesh that he could see peeking out. It gave Y/N every favour because Harry was trying so hard not to let saliva pool in his mouth and drip out in a line of drool, his eyes widening with each movement she made with her arms, jostling her boobs a little bit here and there.

“Hello? Can you hear me?” Y/N waved her arms to catch his attention. A frown creased her brows as he blinked sluggishly before finding enough coherence to recognize that she was trying to talk to him.

(s) Drabble #6: Early Mornings - 1k, the one where harry thinks y/n is prettiest in the morning

“Get to see ya’ when you’re most beautiful,” Harry tickled his nose on hers, smiling at the way the feature scrunched up as she giggled. He groaned at the contractions her walls gave while her tummy flipped in gentle laughter. “Oi! What’s so funny?” He smushed her face with kisses, pausing his thrust halfway through which had her whining.

Drabble #7: Getaway - 952 words, the one where harry is always cold in the mornings

"Y/N, have you taken my purple bathrobe?"

“No,” Y/N tugged the lavender coloured fabric by the sleeves first. Then, by the lapels draping over her chest, drawing them tighter to block the gust of wind currently caressing Harry’s floppy curls.

Twisting his body, a knowing look overtook Harry’s face as Y/N exited the cabin door. The sheepish smile on his lover’s face granting all the information he needed for this morning’s chilly inception.

There she was, clad in the said purple bathrobe.

Drabble #8: A Little Chilly - 451 words, the one where harry sleeps on the couch

“‘S my bed. Dunno why Lydia can’t jus’ stay on the couch,”

“It’s Y/N!” She wailed, walking closer to the doorframe with her arms crossed over her chest.

“Dear, we didn’t know that you were coming home,” Anne tried reasoning with him, not seeing the gravity of the situation as Harry was making it out to be.

Text Messages:

Text Messages #1 - ‘would you love me if I was snail?’

Text Messages #2 - ‘did you know we had a quiz today?’

Text messages #3 - ‘did you steal my hoodie?’

Notes/Behind the Scenes

Notes: Tarnish

Notes: Stressed Out

[mindofharry]

deja vu

in which harry gets a new girlfriend and it’s giving him major deja vu.

angst ! fluff ! all of the above ! feedback is welcome as always <3 based off of the wonderful song, deja vu by olivia rodrigo!!

“Well, maybe we should end it”

Harry suggested and Y/N froze. end it? why is that even something that came into his mind. It was a small, petty fight about a girl. A nice girl that Y/N is apparently jealous of, she’s not by the way. The girl just is the a little too close to her boyfriend, hugging him and kissing him on the cheek when she thinks Y/N isn’t watching them. And harry just sits there, let’s her do that while Y/N his girlfriend of three years is sitting right in front of them. Never did he bitch about her or complain, just compliments for the nice girl at the party.

“W...What?” Y/N stuttered sitting on the hood of the car. The car they bought together. They both worked at an ice cream place down in town, so with the little money they both had and a little support from their parents, they both this beauty. Of course, harry was the only one able to drive it for a whole year because poor Y/N didn’t have her drivers license yet.

“I think we should end it, this” Harry said pointing between himself and Y/N. Her eyes began to fill with tears and the guilt hit him quickly.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. But i just can’t do this back and forth thing anymore. We’re not in middle school” Harry said and sniffled a bit. Y/N nodded, she had sort of know someone like harry wouldn’t stay with someone like her for that long anyways. It’s just apart of life, right?

Right?

“You can keep the car. I’ll find some other way to get into work” Harry mumbled handing Y/N the keys to their shared car. Her eyes widen and anger surged through her veins.

“How dare you” Y/N yelled, a sob coming out of her mouth. “You’re dumping me? you’re fucking dumping me?” she yelled out and that attracted some stares. They were in their place, their special place in Malibu under the stars and near the beach. That’s all theirs.

“You flirt with this girl for a year of our relationship. you do it right infront of me, harry! and you can’t handle it anymore?” Y/N exclaimed and harry sighed, looking slightly embarrassed as more people started to watch them. “Fine, fuck go be with her! i don’t care” Y/N said wiping the tears off of her cheeks and getting into the car.

“Goodbye, harry”

And a couple of weeks later, harry was with that nice girl. That pretty girl, who was a carbon copy of you - harry figured that out pretty quickly, when they got to know each other more.

They were watching reruns of glee when he got this moment of deja vu. Like he had done this before.

Because he had. With Y/N.

“I love this show” Y/N giggled, her hand in harrys hair. Harry nodded agreeing as they watched the new directions so a performance again, this time tina and mercedes were leading the group.

“Y’know you don’t have to pretend to like it, we can change the channel if you want?” Y/N offered and Harry shook his head quickly and blushed. “No, i like it. Could make a good band name, no? New direction, one direction?” Harry teased and you giggled.

“Huh. You’re more of gleek than i am”

“i hate this show” The nice girl said changing the channel, before harry could speak up. Instead of disagreeing with her, he just nodded and kissed the side of her head. He liked glee.

Other times of this deja vu stuff, it was really honest mistakes. Like, nearly calling her Y/N’s name. You were just on his mind, it was nothing serious. He missed the car, that’s all. He also missed the strawberry ice cream and the late night chats under the malibu sky. So he took her there. He put billy joels, ‘uptown girl’ on the radio and grinned when she sang to it. She wasn’t as care free as Y/N though. Y/N had her own shrine of billy joel, her dad is absolutely obsessed with the man and passed that on to Y/N.

Of course, harry had heard of billy joel but had only listened to his most famous songs. Y/N introduced to him to the real billy joel, it was their thing. Listening to billy joel in Y/N’s basement after a long shift, harry would lay his head on her stomach as Y/N sang to vienna or sometimes harry would pull her up and dance around to piano man. He missed that so much.

The chorus of ‘uptown girl’ came on and harry looked over at the nice girl, he now calls his own.

“I love you” He said and she stopped singing and placed a hand on his knee.

Y/N did that. Had her hands all over him.

“I love you too” The nice girl hummed and Harry sighed, now getting another sense of deja vu.

“Did you see Harry and that girl together, Y/N?” Sarah, her new shift buddy asked. Y/N had seen them together, the nice girl that harrys with likes to post everything on social media. Y/N sees the traded jackets, the billy joel, the i love you’s in malibu, the strawberry ice cream. Y/N wondered if the girl laughed at harry because of how annoying he was during glee, or when he puts a jacket on way too small for him, or when they sing in the car. Does he steal Y/N jokes, like he stole everything else?

“Yeah, i did. Seem like a nice couple” Y/N said with a smile. Sarah, only knowing her a couple days, thought nothing of it. Y/N was breaking inside, she literally felt her heart break in two everytime she thought of the two.

How could harry just replace Y/N like that?

“I’d like to be an actress” The nice girl said licking her strawberry ice cream. Harrys eyes widened, deja vu. Y/N had told him, just before they started dating that she was going to be the next meryl streep - why she chose meryl streep, he’ll never know. Y/N has always wanted to be an actress. She had done a few jobs here and there, and always got the main part in plays and musicals. Being an actress is Y/N’s things.

“That’s great” Harry said supporting a forced grin. The nice girl didn’t think anything of it. Y/N wouldn’t known something was wrong.

A different girl, but nothings new.

Harry had to get away. Away from the nice girl who had ruined Y/N and Harrys relationship. So he went to the ice cream parlour. He knew Y/N was working with sarah, mitch is one of his closest friends and he’s dating sarah — so after some digging and prodding, he got the info he needed and set off to town. Without her. Harry dropped her off at her apartment, made up some lame excuse of not feeling well and needed to rest. Y/N would’ve offered soup, the nice girl just said get well soon and closed the apartment door in his face. It was too easy. It shouldn’t be that easy to lie to her, it was never like that with Y/N. Harry couldn’t lie to Y/N for the life of him, even around birthdays or christmas. He sucked at keeping secrets and telling fibs.

“Welcome to All things nice, how may i help you!” Y/N’s voice rang out as she was cleaning out the sink. The bell had notified her, that a customer was in the shop. She just didn’t know that customer was her ex boyfriend.

“Are we able to talk?” Harry asked wringing his hands. Y/N quickly turned around, almost bashing her head into the shelf. Her eyes were wide and her heart broke, again. She could barley handle the instagram posts. She can’t handle harry in real life. Not after what he did. Maybe if it was a mutual break up - but it really was not a mutual break up.

“I’m sorry, we don’t serve that” Y/N snapped pushing the spoons into a drawer. Harry flinched and nodded placing his hands in his back pockets. “Ok, i deserved that” he mumbled. He just needed to explain, just five minutes.

“Please, Y/N. i just need to explain” Harry pleaded, sounding proper desperate. Y/N couldn’t help but feel anger and sadness as she listened to harry beg for her time. She just couldn’t believe he was back so quick, so early in his new relationship.

“What do you possibly need to explain” Y/N asked dropping the spoons and looking at harry over the ice cream. It was rather cliche, really.

“You dumped me, because i pointed out that a girl - by the way, i was right - was coming onto you. I just needed reassurance, harry. That you wouldn’t cheat, that you wouldn’t leave me!” you exclaimed and harry nodded. “I just needed that. and i’m really glad that you dumped me. because we obviously weren’t meant for each other” Y/N said continuing her clean up.

“We are meant to be” Harry said. “We’re Y/N and harry” he said, his voice breaking. Y/N almost felt bad.

“No. You’re in a relationship. You say i love you, to her. You sing billy joel and swap jackets. You eat strawberry ice cream with her for fuck sakes harry” Y/N yelled, pulling at her hair. Harry sniffled and nodded. “I know, I know” he mumbled.

“Do you get deja vu?” Y/N asked “hmm?” she asked again when she didn’t get an answer.

“Thought so”