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rpf-bat · 4 years ago

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You Can’t Keep My Friends

Pairing: Mikey Way x Reader

Genre: Romance, Drama

Summary: Written for Gothtober 2020, Day 4. Prompt: “Bat Country”.

It’s the summer of 2005, and you, and the other members of My Chemical Romance, are on Warped Tour. You start making friends with your tour-mates, Avenged Sevenfold. But, an unexpected comment from their guitarist, makes Mikey jealous.

You were relaxing on your tour bus, reading the new issue of Fangoria, when you heard a knock at the door. You got up, wondering who it could be.

“Hi,” greeted an unfamiliar, black-haired man, when you opened the door. “Is Mikey here?”

“Sorry,” you shrugged. “He’s not around. I think he went over to Fall Out Boy’s bus, to hang out with Pete.”

“That’s okay,” the man shrugged, brushing his bangs out of his eyes. “Oh, I guess I should introduce myself.”

“Yeah, what’s your name?” you wondered.

“I’m Zacky Vengeance,” the man smiled. “Ok….I’m actually Zacky Baker. But, you gotta admit, my stage name sounds cooler.”

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Vengeance,” you laughed. “I’m Y/N.”

“You plays drums for My Chem, right?” Zacky guessed.

“Yeah, that’s right,” you nodded.

“I’m in Avenged Sevenfold,” Zacky explained. “I play guitar.”

“Good to know,” you smiled. “Did you want me to tell Mikey, when I see him, that you stopped by?”

“I actually wanted to thank him,” Zacky confessed. “Our bassist, Johnny, broke one of his strings during soundcheck.”

“Oh, that sucks,” you said sympathetically.

“Yeah, and somehow, we couldn’t find our replacement strings anywhere!” Zacky frowned. “But, thankfully, Mikey let us borrow some of his.”

“Oh, that was nice of him,” you replied. He really is a kind person, always going out of his way to help others. It was one of the things you liked most about him.

“I wanted to give him this, as a thank you,” Zacky said, pulling a beer bottle out of his pants pocket. “Could you give it to him, for me?”

“Sure,” you shrugged, taking the bottle. “I’ll put it in the fridge for him, and let him know it’s there, when he comes back.”

“Thanks, Y/N,” Zacky smiled. “It was nice meeting you.”

“Yeah, you too, dude,” you replied. This was one of your favorite parts of Warped Tour - you always made new friends, with other bands.

Now, you thought, back to reading about the new Romero movie.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

You looked up from the page, when you heard the bus door open.

“Hey, Y/N,” Mikey greeted, wiping sweat off his forehead.

“Hey,” you smiled back. “Hot out there today?”

“Scorching,” Mikey laughed. “What’s up?”

“Zacky from Avenged Sevenfold was here,” you explained. “He gave me a beer, to give to you. He said thanks for helping them out.”

“Oh, sweet!” Mikey grinned. He went into the fridge, took out the beer, and twisted the cap open. “He got me my favorite kind, too!”

“I wish we had our own supply, this year,” you confessed.

“Well, Gerard’s trying to stay sober,” Mikey pointed out, taking a sip. “So, for his sake, we can’t really keep them on the bus, like we did last summer.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” you sighed. “I was being selfish.”

“If you want one, I’ll try and find you some,” Mikey offered, having another swig.

“Nah,” you declined. “It’s not like I need it that badly.”

“Speaking of which,” Mikey wondered, “where is Gerard?”

Your vocalist had been staying on the bus, like a hermit, for most of the tour. It had to be boring for him. But, you supposed it was the best way, for him to avoid temptation.

“Apparently there’s a comic book shop, not far from the venue,” you explained.

“Oh, so, he went shopping?” Mikey realized, finishing his drink, and tossing the bottle into a trash bin.

“Yeah,” you nodded. “I mean, we’re not going onstage, til like, eight o clock tonight, so he’s got plenty of time, to get there and back.”

“That’s true,” Mikey reasoned. “It’s kinda crazy, isn’t it? How when Warped Tour started last summer, we were on at like, midday, because nobody knew who we were…”

“And then our time slot got moved!” you recalled. “Because suddenly, Revenge was like, the hottest album of the year.”

“And now, this summer, we’re headlining,” Mikey said proudly.

“We really have come a long way,” you agreed.

“Since we have so much time on our hands,” Mikey suggested, “do you want to go check out Avenged Sevenfold’s set?”

“Sure!” you agreed. “Do we need to take a couple security guys with us?”

“Nah,” Mikey chuckled. “Just put your sunglasses on, and your hood up, and we’ll be fine.”

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

You joined the crowd, just as the band was starting to take the stage. The vocalist, you noticed, was a buff-looking guy in a muscle tank, wearing a backwards baseball cap. He was almost the antithesis of Gerard’s pretty-boy aesthetic.

“I’ve met him,” Mikey said, following your gaze. “He’s actually a pretty cool guy.”

“What’s his name?” you wondered.

“He calls himself M. Shadows,” Mikey replied.

“Edgy,” you joked.

“Maybe I’m the lame one, for using my real name,” Mikey considered. “I could have been, I dunno, Mikey Nightmare, or something.”

“I like your name,” you assured him, taking his hand.

Mikey blushed.

“WHAT’S UP, DENVER?!” M. Shadows screamed into the microphone.

“....Is that where we are today?” you blinked.

“I guess,” Mikey chuckled. “I’ll be honest, the cities start to blur together, after a while.”

“WHO WANTS TO HEAR A SONG OFF OUR NEW ALBUM?”, M. Shadows bellowed.

The crowd cheered.

“ALRIGHT!”,” the singer announced. “THIS SONG IS CALLED….BAT COUNTRY!”

You banged your head to the beat, as Avenged Sevenfold launched into the song:

Caught here in a fiery blaze, won't lose my will to stay

I tried to drive all through the night

The heat stroke ridden weather, the barren empty sights

No oasis here to see, the sand is singing deathless words to me

Can't you help me as I'm startin' to burn (all alone)

Too many doses and I'm starting to get an attraction

My confidence is leaving me on my own (all alone)

No one can save me and you know I don't want the attention

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

After the set ended, you and Mikey showed your passes to their security guy, and walked backstage.

“Dude, your show was amazing!” Mikey complimented.

“Oh, hey, Mikey!” Zacky grinned. “Y/N, you came to watch, too?”

“Yeah,” you smiled. “He’s right, you guys really killed it up there today.”

“Thanks,” Zacky replied. “Oh, hey, let me introduce you to the rest of the guys!”

“Sure!” you nodded.

“This is my man, Synyster Gates,” Zacky introduced, indicating a man in a grey hat. “But, you can call him Syn.”

“Hi, Syn,” you greeted.

“Hey,” Syn waved. “Nice to meet you. I’m the other guitarist.”

“He’s lead guitar, and I’m rhythm guitar,” Zacky explained.

“Oh, so, basically, the same setup that Ray and Frank have,” you figured.

“I feel like I need to meet this Frank guy sometime,” Zacky quipped. “People keep telling me I look like him.”

“You kinda do,” you confessed. You glanced over at the drummer, who was sitting down in a folding chair. “Does he have a heavy metal stage name, too?”

“I’m the Reverend Tholomew Plague,” the drummer grinned. “But, my friends call me Rev.��

“Hi, Rev,” you chuckled. “I’m Y/N.”

“Nice to meet you,” Rev replied.

“I’m Johnny Christ,” said a third man, who sported a fauxhawk. “Hey, Mikey, thanks again for the assist earlier!”

“No problem, dude,” Mikey said casually. “Where’d Shadows run off to?”

“He went to get drinks for everybody,” Zacky told him. “I’ll text him, and tell him to bring two extra, for you guys.”

“Thanks,” you smiled.

Just then, a summer breeze blew through the backstage area, sending Syn’s hat, flying off his head.

“Shit!” Syn swore, watching his hat blow further away, back onto the main stage. “This is why I hate outdoor venues.”

“I’ll go get that for you,” you offered.

“Thanks,” Syn said gratefully. “Quick, before it blows over the barricade!”

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

You ducked past the crew members, who were taking down Avenged Sevenfold’s banners, and preparing the stage for the next band. The Offspring, if you weren’t mistaken, were supposed to go on in an hour.

A tech was taking down Rev’s drum kit, and setting up Atom Willard’s. You spotted the hat, next to the bass drum.

“Excuse me,” you muttered. The drum tech got out of your way, and let you take the hat.

“Oh my god!” you heard a fan gasp, who was still by the barricade. “That’s Y/N, from MCR!”

You turned, looking at the gaggle of teenagers. They had probably stuck around, so they didn’t lose their front row seats.

“Y/N!” a second fan called out. “Will you please sign my shirt?”

“Sure,” you smiled. You leaned over the edge of the stage, taking a marker that was held out to you. You signed your name on the blushing teen’s band shirt.

“Thank you so much!” he gasped. “I can’t wait to see you and the guys perform tonight!”

“Thank you for coming to see us,” you replied.

“Y/N, will you sign my ticket stub?” another fan pleaded.

“Yeah, why not?” you acquiesced. You stayed by the barricade for a few moments, signing autographs, and posing for pictures.

“Alright, guys,” you said finally. “I really do need to go give Synyster his hat back.”

“Ok!” the fans said agreeably. “Thank you for taking time for us! Say hi to Gerard and Frankie for us when you see them!”

“Will do,” you chuckled. The MCRmy were such nice kids. It made you feel special, to be loved by such a great group of people.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

You were about to turn the corner, and re-enter the backstage area. But, you froze, when you heard your name. You realized, that the guys were talking about you.

“So,” you heard Zacky ask, “is Y/N single?”

“Uh….,” Mikey hesitated. “Yeah, as far as I know, she’s not seeing anyone.”

“That’s surprising,” Syn commented. “She’s, like, really pretty.”

“If I asked her out,” Zacky wondered, “do you think she’d say yes?”

What?!, you stifled a gasp. Zacky was interested in you?

“No!” Mikey blurted out. “You definitely don’t want to do that!”

“Why not?” you snapped, revealing herself. “You think I’d be a super annoying person to date?”

“Y/N?” Mikey gasped, turning his head around, towards you. “How long have you been standing there?”

“Long enough,” you frowned. “Why are you warning people not to ask me out? Am I that unattractive, when I don’t have my stage makeup on?”

“No!” Mikey said quickly. “Fuck, that’s not what I meant, either!”

“Then, what did you mean?” you demanded.

“I….,” Mikey trailed off, his whole face turning red. “I can’t tell you.”

“Bullshit,” you barked. “Here’s your stupid hat, Syn.”

You practically threw it at the guitarist, then turned, and began walking away.

“Where are you going?” Mikey cried, following you.

“Back to the bus!” you growled, walking faster.

“Y/N, please, slow down!” Mikey begged, jogging to keep up with you.

“No! Buzz off!” you told him. Your cheeks burned.

Does he think I’d be a shitty, clingy girlfriend? you wondered. Why would he tell some complete stranger, that I’m not worth dating? I should’ve known...he’d never be interested in me.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

You climbed back onto the bus, and immediately threw yourself into your bunk. You pulled the curtains around you, as if you were going to sleep.

Mikey pulled the curtain back again, and sat beside you.

“Can we please talk?” he implored you.

“What is there to talk about?” you huffed.

“Y/N, I’m sorry,” Mikey said gently. “Look...do you really want to date Zacky? If that’s what will make you happy….I’ll go back there, and I’ll tell him to shoot his shot. I can even give him your number.”

“I don’t want to date Zacky,” you confessed.

I want to date you, you stupid man. You wished you could tell him that, but you didn’t have the guts. But, that will never happen.

“I didn’t tell Zacky, not to ask you out, because I think you’re annoying, or unattractive,” Mikey explained.

“Then, why did you say it?” you demanded, wiping tears on your sleeve.

“I said it because….,” Mikey hesitated.

“Spit it out,” you insisted.

“I said it, because I wanted to ask you out myself,” Mikey said finally.

“Wh…..What?!”

“I’ve been trying to find the balls, to ask you out, all summer,” Mikey confessed, reddening. “But, I could never find the right time, or the words. I’m an idiot.”

“You’re not an idiot,” you said softly, moving closer to him.

“I have no right, to tell you who to be with,” Mikey sighed. “Y/N, I hope I haven’t ruined our friendship, by telling you how I feel about you. I understand, if you aren’t interested in…”

“I’m interested,” you interrupted.

“Huh?” Mikey’s eyes widened behind his glasses.

“I’ve been interested in you for a long time,” you confessed. “I just didn’t have the balls to tell you, either.”

We’re both idiots.

You leaned over, and lay your lips on his. He kissed you back, eagerly grabbing you, pulling you closer. You kissed him, again, and again.

“....So,” Mikey gasped breathlessly, coming up for air, “does this mean you and I are dating now?”

“Now,” you grinned, grabbing him by the collar, “and forever.”

#mikey way x reader #mikey way imagine #band member reader #gothtober

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atlasishere · 5 years ago

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I Bake Sins Not Tragedies pt. 1

Characters: Logan, Virgil, Patton, Roman, Remus, Janus, Remy, Emile

Relationships: Analogical(eventually), Royality (in progress), Dukeceit(background), Remile(background)

Word Count: 7568

A/N: I wrote most of this before the newest Sanders Sides video, so if Janus’ name is incorrect, sorry, let me know if it is.

Taglist: @normallyaspen @watchoutforthefanfics @superwholocked-for-life (if you wanna tagged when the next part is uploaded or whenever I write, let me know)

Virgil “woke up” at 6:00, meaning that he snoozed his 6:00 alarm until 6:30 when he had to get up for work. He got up, put on his black jeans, purple shirt with long sleeves that would end up getting rolled up, and grabbed his hoodie. He walked into his kitchen and grabbed the pizza from about two nights ago and ate it cold. He put on his converse and walked to his bakery, arriving at 6:45 with just enough time to set up before his first customers walked in. He went through his day, making his baked goods, jamming to his emo music, eternally grateful to his brother, Patton, willingly helped him run his bakery.

Logan woke up at 6:00 sharp, got dressed in jeans and a black short-sleeved polo, gelled his hair back, and ate a simple breakfast of cereal and eggs. He read a book until 7:30 when he left to go open the tattoo parlor he worked at.

These two men lived their lives separately until one fateful day. Virgil had decided he wanted to get a new tattoo, something simple. He had considered getting something in remembrance of MCR but he already had one. He already had a flower for his dad, a Starbucks cup with sunglasses for his ren, and a blue heart with glasses for his brother. Along with that, he had some lyrics from “Na Na Na” by MCR. So Virgil went through the things that are important to him and decided to look up symbols for them. He had found a couple of ideas and sketched them. As he was doing this, he looked at his copy of Coraline on the bookshelf across from him, and inspiration hit. He sketched two black buttons and a spool of thread and called his brother out, “Yo, Patton. Come look at this tattoo idea.”

Patton walked out, looked at it, said, “I like it, what’s the inspiration?”

“Coraline, the buttons were supposed to take her to this life of ‘happiness’ but it would have led to more pain and she discovered that her own life wasn’t as bad as she thought. It was all about her perspective,” Virgil shared, having clearly thought this through as he sketched it.

“I like it. Where would you put it, dear sibling?” Patton asked.

“Well, somewhere I would see it daily. Also, I use ‘they and he’ pronouns so no need to use sibling,” Virgil answered, “Heck if you wanted to use ‘she’ I wouldn’t complain. When I came out, I said I am indifferent to pronouns.”

“I know sib, but I like using the more neutral pronouns, a habit I picked up from Remy for a parental unit,” Patton countered.

“Fair point, but with my fluctuating gender, it’s kinda pointless,” Virgil argued.

“Oh freaking well, deal with it,” Patton said, ending the argument, knowing that Virgil wasn’t irritated.

Virgil decided that he needed to put his stuff away and get back behind the counter and help his brother.

A full day of baking, serving teens and college students, and cleaning up, Virgil walked home. As he did so, he was paying close attention to his surroundings, looking for tattoo parlors that he could look into. As he was walking, Virgil saw a sign for a tattoo parlor and decided to check it out.

Logan heard the bell above the door of the tattoo parlor where he worked ring and looked up to see a man dressed in black jeans, a light purple top, and a patched hoodie. As the man approached, Logan decided to partake in his favorite activity, at least while at work, guessing their tattoo, he guessed it was probably song lyrics from one of those emo bands. It turns out that Logan would be pleasantly surprised.

“Hi, I am new in town and looking for parlors to get this tattoo that I want. I was curious if you had any examples of some of the work that you guys do,” the man asked, with a deep, smooth voice that caught Logan off guard.

“We have several artists with different specialties, so it depends on what you want. Do you have a picture or sketch of what you want?” Logan asked, keeping it professional but giddy to figure out if he was right.

The man pulled out a square piece of paper and said, “It’s not super complex,” Logan stared at the spool of thread and black buttons as the man continued, “It’s based on the book “Coraline” by Neil Gaiman.”

So, Logan was wrong, “I mean most of us could do that but I like to think I am the most qualified.”

“Got any examples of your work?” the man asked cheekily.

Logan decided to get his best friend up here who happened to let Logan do all of his tattoos, “Roman get your lazy ass up here!”

“Lose again specs?” Roman asked as he got up.

The man looked confused and Logan decided to change the subject quickly and said, “Show this customer some of my work please.”

“If you wanted me shirtless, all you had to do was ask,” Roman countered as he removed his shirt to show the tattoos. There weren’t many but the ones appeared to be sentimental and detailed.

“I may be pansexual, but I am not desperate,” Logan said, continuing the banter.

“Wow, rude, and in front of this fine young person too,” Roman said, pretending to be hurt.

“Well, they probably didn’t want to see your chest either, but you refuse to get them anywhere but your back and chest,” Logan countered, clearly noticing the way Roman had glanced at the bracelet on the customer’s wrist that said he/they. They looked surprised that someone had noticed that.

“Well, maybe I don’t want to ruin my wonderful arms or legs, Mr. Andy Hurley,” Roman said, attempting to defend his honor.

“I’ll take that as a compliment since Andy Harley is a very attractive man and I do enjoy a good amount of Fall Out Boy,” Logan countered.

Roman scoffed as Logan turned to the customer and said, “I guess I should introduce myself, formally. I am Logan Croft.”

The man smiled and shook Logan’s outstretched hand firmly as he replied, “I am Virgil.”

“I would like to apologize for my fiend, I mean friend, he gets quite excitable at times,” Logan said as he glared at his friend.

“Actually, I like your work and wouldn’t mind getting my tattoo here. May I make an appointment?” Virgil asked.

Logan looked astonished as he said, “Sure, when would you like to?”

“I don’t work until later on Saturday, would that work?” Virgil asked.

“Yes it will,” Logan answered.

Virgil nodded then gave a quick wave goodbye as he left. Logan watched the door close and turned his head to see Roman with that impish look he got.

“You like him!” Roman shrieked.

“No, too soon to tell,” Logan said, “Also what happened to ‘they’?”

“His bracelet said, ‘He/They’. Also, if not yet, soon. I mean he’s cute so I understand but not my style,” Roman said, “I mean his brother’s pretty cute and comes to my pharmacy and I’ve had my eye on him for a bit.”

“You know his brother?” Logan asked.

“Well, they own that emo themed bakery up the street from the pharmacy where I work,” Roman shared.

Logan took Roman’s statement as food for thought as he left the parlor, waving at his coworker goodbye. He walked home and thought about the customer who had come in so close to the end of his shift. Logan didn’t necessarily believe in soulmates, fate, or chance since there was no scientific proof but he also had an emotional side and hope. Soon after he thought this, Logan’s logical side won over and said that there was no reason other than the obvious convenient coincidence. He entered his simple apartment, grateful that his roommates weren’t home. He started cooking dinner, which was almost finished as his roommates, Roman and his twin brother Remus, walked in. Roman had gone to get Remus since Roman had used their car to get to work so he had to drop off and pick up Remus. Roman’s job was farther out than Logan’s and Remus’ who couldn’t walk to work either. It was a weird set up but they shared a car since neither of them had the money for a second car. Logan didn’t have a car either, he was saving up his money to pay off his loans and hopefully to find a good job somewhere science-related. As the twins dropped their stuff off at the door, Remus was talking about his job at the zoo and the newest animal exhibit there. Logan looked at the very chaotic person who enjoyed handling the animals. His brother, however, was clearly ready to tell his own work story. To prevent a fight, Logan said, “Hey, set the table boys.”

“Okay mom,” Roman said, chuckling. Logan had learned that Roman and Remus thought of him as a motherly figure.

They sat down for dinner as Roman talked about how his day at the pharmacy went, “Someone who was a regular, came in for their antidepressants and had said, please remember I am paraphrasing, ‘Do you have the potion that shall help me, O’ wise mage’ to which I said a simple yes. They responded with, ‘I thank thee, no curse shall leave my lips that will torment you’. They left the Walgreen’s and I realized that was fairly normal for me. Anyway, Logan, got any good stories besides that cute emo coming in?”

Logan would never admit this to anyone, but some blood rose to his neck as he responded, “No my day was normal, including the man from the bakery. However, I seem to remember something about a cute brother that works with him from you Roman.”

Remus snickered as he watched his two roommates who were definitely crushing pretty hard. He was glad that he was behind those days, having a boyfriend and all.

That night, Virgil walked home to his apartment that he shared with his old college roommate, Janus, who was making spaghetti for their dinner that night. Virgil set the box on the table that held some “Hey Youngblood” thumbprint cookies from their bakery. Janus looked at the box, pointed a spatula at it as if to ask the contents. Virgil answered the unasked question, “Thumbprint cookies, made with Crofters. And no, I am not calling the cookies by their name because I say it enough at work.”

Janus smiled as he responded, “Well maybe you should reevaluate your decisions then.”

“How about no. I like my bakery as it is, I just kinda regret letting Pat choose the names for the baked goods. By the way, he hasn’t named everything on the menu,” Virgil confessed.

“Should you talk to him? Is it that big of a problem?” Janus asked, genuinely concerned for his friend.

“No, it’s not that. It’s just that it gets a little annoying at times. His puns are super clever though so it’s honestly all good,” Virgil answered, truthfully, recognizing the look on their roommate’s face.

Janus nodded, believing his roommate, as he served the spaghetti. The two sat down to eat when they heard a knock at the door. Virgil got up and checked to see who it was, it was his brother Patton. Virgil opened the door to let him in and as soon as he crossed the threshold Patton exclaimed, “I fucked up real bad. I mean really bad.”

Virgil sighed, probably had to do with the cute pharmacist that stopped by their bakery. Not that Virgil could complain since he usually did the same with Patton but if it was the same person, Virgil thought he might scream. But before he could, Patton continued with his story.

“So you know the pharmacist who comes in on occasion, well I was at the drugstore where he works and I was unaware that I was speaking with him. So I said, ‘I seek the cure to the darkness in my brain’ and he went through the normal stuff and I had to continue being normal so I responded with, ‘I thank thee, no curse of mine shall harm you’ and now I definitely ruined any chances with him.”

“Patton, I am sure that if he would’ve dated you, he would have been exposed to you and you’re, sometimes, eccentric qualities. I am sure everything will end up being okay,” Virgil said, attempting to comfort their brother.

“And if it is necessary, I can and will murder,” Janus chimed in, unwelcomely.

“Says the lawyer who prosecutes murder cases,” Virgil quips while making the universal sign for shut the fuck up, the middle finger.

Janus stayed quiet while Virgil worked on reassuring his brother. Eventually, Patton nodded and appeared to have calmed down. When Virgil invited him to stay for dinner, Patton had turned down the offer since he needed to head upstairs to talk to his roommate since he hadn’t been home.

Virgil sat down at the table with his roommate as Janus’ phone received a notification. Virgil could tell from the look on his friend’s face that it was Janus’ boyfriend texting him.

“Share the news, Janus, I know you are dying to,” Virgil said as he looked at his plate of spaghetti.

The lawyer smiled as he said, “Well, Roman, the brother of Remus, has started an incorrect quotes blog that is just Remus quotes and conversations.”

Virgil laughed and said, “Can you get the URL, I need to know what this man you are dating is like because you never seem to bring him around.”

Janus texted Remus and got a response fairly quickly. After being told what it was, Virgil grabbed his laptop and looked it up. As he read through the posts and showed Janus a few, he asked, “Is this what he is always like?”

“Yeah, he has his moments of being calm or more chaotic, but this is his usual act,” Janus responded.

The two laughed for a bit at the quotes when Virgil said, “I think the guy that Patton is infatuated with is named Roman.”

“Oh yeah, it is. That is, in fact, the same Roman, and yes, he is also very infatuated with Patton apparently,” Janus responded as he put his phone away and began to eat.

Virgil pondered this new information for a bit and eventually, he began to think about the Roman he met in the tattoo parlor, which in turn, led to him thinking about the guy, Logan. Logically, Virgil knew that he wouldn’t see him after he got his tattoo but part of him was drawn to the man.

Virgil remained lost in his thoughts until, being the absolute angel that he is, Janus smacked Virgil on the back of the head. Virgil was still jolting as he got out of his chair, ready to fight Janus, and like two siblings fighting over the remote, they both ended up on the ground wrestling.

After a few minutes of fighting, Janus finally asks, “So what was on your mind?”

“Nothing, I was just thinking,” Virgil said.

“Uh-huh, sure, I think it’s because you have a crush,” Janus teased as he watched his friend attempt to stutter out a response.

Finally able to speak clearly, Virgil said, "Actually, it's not. I was thinking about that tattoo I wanted to get." Virgil hoped that Janus would buy his half-lie and not see the nervous tapping or blood flowing up to his neck.

Janus knew Virgil wasn’t being completely honest, he ate the lies of criminals for breakfast, but he could also read the room and knew this was not the time, so he dropped it. Finally, at ease, Virgil continued their conversation and the two talked until it was close to 10:00.

On Saturday morning, Virgil made sure that their brother had someone to work with him during the day until Virgil was done at the parlor. Since it was confirmed, Virgil got up and dressed in a tank top and open flannel, aware that he would need a looser item of clothing on top of his tattoo. Virgil ate breakfast, left his house, and started towards the tattoo parlor.

Once they entered, Logan looked up to see who was at the door. His heart was hoping for Virgil and his head was telling him that it shouldn't matter. But it was Virgil and a war started inside of him. His head won, which was smart since Logan would be doing permanent needlepoint on their skin.

Logan took them back and prepped the needle and Virgil's skin.

As the needle was buzzing, Virgil appeared to be scrolling Tumblr on their phone as Logan did his job. He tried to refrain from paying attention to Virgil's muscle mass and focused on the project.

After several hours, Logan finished the tattoo and gave Virgil the care instructions. They waved as they left the parlor and headed to their bakery.

Virgil walked into his bakery and was bombarded with questions from their brother. "How did it go? Do you like it? Are you feeling okay?"

Virgil held up their hand and said, "It went well considering I got needlepoint on my skin, I haven't looked since it's on my shoulder, and yes I am okay."

Suddenly Virgil was being dragged to a bathroom by his brother so he could see it as well as Patton.

Once inside, the light was turned on and Virgil slipped the flannel off of his shoulder. The tattoo looked really good and Virgil was impressed. They walked out of the bathroom, brother in tow, put his uniform on, and washed his hands.

Throughout the day, the bakery had a steady stream of customers who enjoyed the food, puns, and music. Near the end of the day, Virgil was surprised to see Logan, the tattoo artist, walk through the door. He walked up to the counter as he appeared to scan the menu. As he arrived at the counter, Virgil gave his standard, “Hello, Welcome to I Bake Sins, not Tragedies, How can I help you today?”

Logan smirked and asked, “What are the ‘Hey Youngblood’ cookies?”

“Well, they are a jam thumbprint cookie filled with Crofter’s jam, we have strawberry and blackberry jam,” Virgil answered, trying to use his customer voice he had picked up over the years of working in the real world.

Logan nodded then said, “Could I please have a ‘Hey Youngblood’ cookie then and a coffee.”

Virgil nodded, took Logan’s money, made his change, and began preparing his order. It wasn’t complex, the cookies had been baked recently and coffee was in a pot, so it took but five minutes to complete. As he brought it out to Logan, he gestured to where the cream and sugar were kept for their customers to use on their own. They had found it to be more convenient and easier. Virgil watched as Logan found a seat at a table and pulled a book from the shelf behind him. Virgil continued to work and serve customers for a while when he noticed that Logan had left, it wasn’t a problem since he had figured where the mugs needed to be returned, but part of Virgil was upset nonetheless.

Logan walked out of the bakery and walked back to the parlor. The bakery was very nice, the music was loud enough to be heard but wasn’t disruptive, their food was very good and Logan desired to find this Crofter’s jam, there was a good selection of books for the customers to read as they sat down, and the aesthetic was less dark but still held to the inspiration. Logan found himself enjoying the Fall Out Boy and Panic! At the Disco puns on the food. He definitely was adding the place to his list of good places to eat at. He conveniently was skipping over the cute enby at the register. That can of worms was not going to be opened. He entered the parlor and saw that Roman was there. “Hey, Eliot, can you take out the trash?” Logan said, gesturing to Roman.

The man at the front desk, Eliot, smiled, and said, “Sorry, I thought that was your job.”

Logan smirked and responded, “Oh yeah, It is.”

As Logan started to meander towards Roman, the pharmacist definitely looked a little fearful as Logan chuckled, "I was joking with you Roman."

"I am well aware, Specs but it wasn't very nice. Just thought that you confused me for Remus," Roman responded, trying to save his dignity.

"What a vibe check Roman," Logan said, aware the slang was incorrect but also had stopped trying with slang. Roman's face made it worth the lack of education Logan had.

"A what now?!?!? That is so wrong. I really can't believe you just said that " Roman exclaimed, continuing to rant about how Logan doesn't know slang.

Logan chuckled as he watched his friend continue to passionately rant about something as trivial as slang.

The next week went by fairly routinely for the group. Logan worked at the parlor and occasionally stopped by the bakery with the attractive emo worker, Virgil would work and occasionally see the cute tattoo artist, Patton worked with brother and would attempt and fail to keep it together when a certain pharmacist would come in every day, and Roman would continue his daily routine of stopping in to get breakfast and see the adorable baker. Somewhere in the course of the week, Roman had slipped Patton his phone number, platonically, of course, and that sparked a conversation and eventually friendship between the two.

Virgil and Logan did not interact that much but were slowly becoming comfortable with each other’s presence. They would have a casual conversation when Logan would come in and on occasion, Logan would happen to ask about books that Virgil had. They kinda wanted to talk to Logan more, but it’s kinda hard when a guy comes in right at the time that high school students get out of school.

But that week was done and the weekend was bringing a special surprise, the arrival of Virgil and Patton’s parents.

It was Friday night, a mere twenty minutes before closing and the bakery was empty. Virgil and Patton had a little bit of extra bread dough from the day. It was only about the size of a fist and well, Virgil had technically started it. He had tossed it and ended up throwing it at his brother. Patton received the dough splat on the back of his head and turned to see his sheepish sibling looking incredibly nervous. Patton smiled and tossed it back to him. Virgil caught it and chuckled. The game slowly got bigger as Virgil and Patton ended up outside the kitchen and in the main area. They continued for a few more minutes when suddenly the doors opened and in walked Emile and Remy, the parents of the two bakers.

And like children caught with their hands in the cookie jar, they froze and went to finger-pointing. Emile chuckled and held his hands up and Patton tossed the ball to his dad.

“Think fast dear,” Emile told his partner as he threw the dough to Remy.

Remy caught the dough and smiled. They tossed it to their child and the game continued for a few more minutes until some late-night closer customers came in.

“C’mon, I need to see Patton and you wouldn’t mind seeing Virgil. Their bakery doesn’t close for a whole 15 minutes,” Roman whined.

“I am aware and no I wouldn’t mind but it is late. One of us needs to be the voice of reason here,” Logan said, not wanting to admit how much he kind of wanted to see a particular baker.

“There is no reason not to,” Roman argued.

Logan would blame it on the fact that he was tired and not because he was giving in to the want to see someone who may not even be attracted to men as he acquiesced to Roman’s request, “Fine, Roman. Let me grab my jacket and we can walk there since Remus took the car when he dropped you off.”

The two walked to the bakery. When they arrived, they saw four people tossing something and smiling. Logan assumed they were laughing. As he looked, he saw Virgil and from the look on Roman’s face, could assume that Patton was in there as well. However, Logan felt a little preoccupied with Virgil and their existence. Their face was a little flushed and they were smiling as they threw what appeared to be bread dough.

Eventually, Logan snapped out of his trance and realized that he was definitely gay for this nonbinary emo baker. He also made the snap decision that the other two, older, adults were likely family. Logan was going to tap Roman on the shoulder and tell him that they should just head home, but, Roman’s hand was on the doorknob and was opening the door.

Well, Logan would argue that he had to join his friend and walked in. He was greeted with what was becoming a familiar scent of baked bread and an earthy scent that was likely from an air freshener. He felt bad for interrupting the family time that was happening, but the look of surprise and happiness on Virgil’s face almost, keyword almost, took away his anxiety. Virgil hopped behind the counter and asked what they wanted.

“Could I have a ‘Hey Youngblood’ cookie and a loaf of bread?” Logan asked and gestured for Roman to step up and order.

“Could I have some ‘Pretty Odd Macarons’?” Roman asked.

Virgil nodded, rang up the order, and began to get the food. While Virgil was doing that, Patton had approached Roman and the two began talking.

Virgil handed him the bag and Logan just had to open his mouth and ask, “So, uh, who are these lovely people?” He was nervous and apparently he cannot control his mouth around cute people.

Virgil looked at Remy, who nodded, before responding. “Well, my ren would probably appreciate that you didn’t say men as they are nonbinary and their name is Remy,” Virgil said as he gestured to the person with a leather jacket and sunglasses, “And the other man is my dad, Emile,” Virgil answered as he gestured to the man in a suit with a cardigan and glasses.

Then Virgil gestured to Logan and said, “This is my friend Logan. Just so everyone knows everyone.”

Logan could feel the blood rushing to his neck and shuffled his feet as he waved.

Roman smiled and introduced himself, looked at the clock and realized that it was pretty late, and turned to Patton to say goodbye.

Logan turned to Virgil and said, “We need to get back to our apartment and make sure that Remus hasn’t burned it down. He has been at the house alone for around three hours and is pretty chaotic. It was nice seeing you, goodbye.’

Virgil chuckled and said, “It was nice seeing you, Logan. Feel free to drop by anytime.”

Logan looked down at the floor to hide the red that was creeping up his neck and towards his face and grabbed his friend to drag him home.

Logan was at the front door of his apartment and Roman was still whining like a child. The two walked in and were greeted with Remus and his questioning looks. Logan began to share the story.

Virgil waved to Logan and Roman as they left and looked at his watch to see that it was closing time. They waved Patton over to help finish tidying up and gather the baked goods off the shelf and put them in a box.

As the siblings were working, Remy was holding the dough ball and tossing it between their hands. They could tell their husband was proud of their sons but also incredibly curious, like Remy, about the two men who had come in at closing. Their husband looked at them and Remy knew they were the bolder of the two so he asked, “Who were those two?”

Virgil happened to be at the counter at the moment so he said, “Well Roman is Patton’s admirer and Logan is a new friend as well as the guy who did my newest tattoo.”

Patton happened to hear from the kitchen so he piped up and said, “Actually, Roman doesn’t like me but I think Logan likes Virgil.”

This led to an argument. Emile looked at his spouse and moved to stand next to him. “How much do you wanna bet that both of our children are in love and their respective man also loves them?”

Remy chuckled and said, “While I normally don’t condone on gambling, I can make an exception for our oblivious children. I say it takes the rest of the month.” It was, conveniently, at the beginning of the month.

Emile smiled and said, “I think I will go with the month after.” The two lovers shook hands and looked at the children they had raised.

Virgil and Patton had stopped their bickering and were deciding who would take what was left from the day to the homeless shelter.

When Virgil and Patton decided to buy I Bake Sins, not Tragedies, the two decided that they should donate what food was left from the day to a local homeless shelter that was LGBTQ+ friendly and nonprofit. They had found one thanks to the size of the city they lived in.

Patton decided to take that day and texted his roommate, Thomas, that he would be home later.

Virgil asked his parents who they wanted to stay with that night since Patton and Virgil both had a space prepared for them when they had heard their parents say they wanted to visit.

The two looked at each other and Remy said, “Mind if we stay with you? I haven’t talked to Janus in a while and Emile looks so tired that walking up more stairs than necessary may cause him to pass out.” Remy chuckled as their husband smacked them.

Virgil nodded and texted their roommate that they would have two guests tonight.

After the siblings finished cleaning and closing up, Virgil walked out to their parent’s car and asked if he could ride to the apartment complex with them.

Remy appeared to consider it before letting him in. The three drove to Virgil’s apartment and decided to not stay up too late.

The next morning was one of chaos. Janus had a big trial at noon that day, Remy and Emile were going to spend their morning walking around the city and the afternoon in the bakery. Virgil’s anxiety was skyrocketing at the thought of something bad happening and was ready to punch something.

Having woken up earlier than usual, Virgil had the chance to run around the block before getting ready to work. So, he ran. They knew they needed to run to get the nerves under control and they would have the chance to work with dough all day which helps with the aggression aspect of his anxiety.

After Virgil’s quick run, he went to his apartment, showered off, and put his standard dark clothing and hoodie on. Virgil walked to the bakery in record time and had enough time to put his apron on and help his brother pull the tray out of the oven. Patton had come in early to bake since he was a morning person but Virgil and Patton often alternated each week for who would come in earlier to get the first round in the ovens.

Patton decided to man the register while Virgil took over baking for the morning shift.

The brothers worked nonstop until 11:30, which was standard for Saturdays and enjoyed the break they would receive until the late lunch rush. During this time, Janus stopped in to grab a Danger Days Donut and coffee.

The rest of the morning passed without event and Virgil had decided to take a 10-minute break to go and get their anxiety medication from the pharmacy. Waving to Patton, Virgil walked down the street to the nearest Walgreens and back to the pharmacy. When he arrived, he saw a familiar face, the face of Roman. Roman looked up and saw Virgil as he was about to ask for a name. “Hey, Virgil, I am afraid I will need a last name, for protocol, of course.”

Virgil chuckled and said, “Picani, also I was not expecting you to know it. I was not expecting you to work here, in fact.”

Roman chuckled and said, “I’ve served your brother but I am surprised he hasn’t spoken of me.” Roman pulled Virgil’s medicine off the shelf and handed it to him.

Virgil took the medicine as he made an offhand comment about thinking that his brother was speaking of another Roman, despite the fact that Virgil was fully aware his brother was very taken by Roman.

The two bantered for another minute before Virgil left and headed back to his bakery.

Virgil walked back in and saw Logan at a table near the bookshelves in the back.

Patton saw them walk in and gave him a thumbs up so Virgil set their prescription in the back and went out to the bookshelves to talk to Logan. Virgil wasn’t sure why he wanted to talk to the tattoo artist, all he knew was there was something drawing him to Logan.

Logan felt something tap his shoulder and tensed up a bit, startled but when he turned around, he was pleasantly surprised. Logan did not expect to see Virgil out of the back.

“Looking for a book to read?” Virgil asked.

Logan wasn’t but he wanted to hear Virgil talk about something he liked so he said, “I am actually.”

Maybe Virgil knew Logan was lying but if they did, they humored Logan, “Well, I don’t know if you have read ‘Coraline’ but that is a good one, I mean I based a tattoo off of it. But if you want something less creepy, ‘Good Omens’ by Neil Gaiman is also very good. Want out of the fantasy realm and more science fiction, we have many Douglass Adams novels.”

Logan nodded and decided to find Coraline to read. He had not read the story but had heard good things about it.

Virgil continued to work for the next hour, making his supply for the evening and later night coffee dates, occasionally checking on Logan. Once or twice Virgil would catch themself staring and have to shake themself from their trance. Virgil was realistic, they weren't in a super-wealthy occupation and weren't the most attractive person out there, heck they had heterochromia. The left eye is green and his right is brown, he just wears a colored contact so they both look brown. Virgil was okay with their appearance but wore the contact because he preferred to assuage the questions and because he used to get bullied for it. They also were aware that it was likely an infatuation and would fade quickly.

At some point in the day, Virgil's parents had also snuck into the store and appeared to be snacking on the rejects near the back. Those two were watching their child's potential future boyfriend with interest.

And for an hour, it was a blissful quiet. Soon after Logan settled with his book, Virgil traded with Patton to start preparing for the evening and post date bakery visitors. It was mostly making the dough and letting it rise. At one point, Virgil went out to sit with their parents and catch up. After a bit, Virgil relieved Patton of register duty and sat on the stool, sketching.

Virgil wasn’t really a great drawer but he liked to do it nonetheless, it was a relaxing activity. So, with quieter Fall Out Boy playing, Virgil drew, Logan read, Emile and Remy gossiped with Patton, and all was right with the world. Sadly, Logan’s phone decided to disrupt the peace to remind Logan that he had a job. Logan sighed and decided to go to the front counter. Virgil was sketching what appeared to be a beach and Logan hated to disrupt them but he was on a time crunch. “Hey, Virgil,” Logan started, with a softer tone as to not startle the quieter goth, “I was wondering if you could hold onto this book for me to come back in and finish. I am really enjoying it but I have to get to work.”

Virgil looked up, not startled but surprised. He heard Logan’s request and kinda wanted to chuckle because Logan hadn’t thought to ask if he could borrow the book, but Virgil could respect his wish and said, “Absolutely my dude, it is not a problem.” Virgil took the book from Logan and their hands brushed against each other briefly and Virgil was fighting the urge to blush. Logan nodded and fumbled out a goodbye as he backed out, subsequently running into a table, on his way out. Virgil chuckled and tried to convince himself that he didn’t offer to let Logan borrow the book because Virgil wanted Logan to visit again. It took the rest of the day to convince himself of this fact.

Near the end of the day, around what is normally dinner time, Roman busted through the doors and startled Patton. Virgil had left with Remy to grab dinner for the rest of his family and Patton and Emile were left to watch over the bakery. Well, Emile was sitting in his back corner while Patton watched the register and decided if there needed to be more sale goods made or if Virgil should mix dough to bake tomorrow. It was quiet and Patton was a little restless. So Roman’s impromptu entrance was actually appreciated by Patton while Virgil would have scowled. Roman walked up to the front register and put on his blindingly charming smile and Patton couldn’t help but giggle like a girl whose crush just shared that they like someone.

Roman continued walking in and walked to the back where Emile was sitting, which confused Patton. Roman cleared his throat and said, “Hello, my name is Roman. I believe we met last night.”

Emile was a little charmed and smiled as he responded, “Why yes we did.” Emile could also tell the boy was nervous, he kept shuffling his feet and wiping his hands on his pants.

Roman took a second to try to calm down and ask his question. “I was wondering if I could have your permission to take your son, Patton, on a date.” Now Patton was listening by this point and had to keep from gasping in surprise.

Emile smiled and said, “Well, Patton is an adult so you really don’t have to ask me, but if he is fine with it, so am I. I am close to certain my spouse will agree with me and I admire that you asked me but I think the one you really need to ask is by the kitchen door.”

Roman smiled and turned to see Patton peeping and eavesdropping. “Well, Patton, would you like to go on a date with me Friday night?”

Like a deer in headlights, Patton froze before finding his voice to say, “Yes I will.”

Roman smiled and went to hug Patton when the bell above the entrance rang out. Patton rushed out to the front to see if it was a customer, but instead, it was the rest of his family.

Virgil went behind the counter and handed Patton the food they had gotten him and when he finally looked at his brother, Virgil saw his brother’s face lit up with joy, and Virgil knew he was going to be in for a gossip session.

The family ate dinner, with the brothers behind the counter and the parents at a close table. The night finished routinely, with Virgil and Patton cleaning up and Virgil gathering the leftovers for the local shelter. Remy and Emile were staying with Patton that night and Virgil was going to head home afterward.

Virgil was walking back home after visiting the shelter. He was deep in thought when he ran into someone, quite literally. That, someone, happened to be very fit. Logan was that someone. Virgil was quite surprised since he didn’t see Logan outside of the tattoo shop and bakery, but Virgil was not able to form a sentence because the gay part of his brain just went berserk. As previously mentioned, Logan is fit and has a good deal of muscle mass. Virgil also literally ran into him and fell on the ground. So, the anxious, disaster gay was looking for an escape, because flight was his activated instinct. As his eyes scanned the paths of escape, Logan began to speak, “Hey, Virgil. I was not expecting to see you out tonight.”

Somewhere in the anxious fog of his brain, Virgil knew he needed to respond, so he did, “Uh, yeah. Same here. I was dropping some food donations off to the homeless shelter that specifies in helping queer people.”

Logan looked surprised. Then Virgil realized that not everyone uses queer in a friendly sense so he began to explain. “Oh, yeah, I say queer because I believe that some terms need reclaiming and it is a valid label. I, myself, identify as queer.”

Virgil continued to ramble when Logan interrupted, “Virgil, breathe. I was not offended by the use of queer, I like that some are reclaiming it. I didn’t know you donated food to the local homeless shelter, that’s why I looked surprised.”

Virgil breathed, counting so they could calm down. As they calmed down, Logan realized that Virgil was definitely on the verge of a panic attack. So once Virgil had calmed down, Logan offered to walk Virgil to their apartment. Virgil was still a little shaky and agreed.

The two walked to Virgil's apartment complex and talked. Virgil learned that Logan was a big science nerd and that he liked to misuse slang specifically to annoy Roman. Logan learned that Virgil had always been passionate about baking and that he hadn’t actually found emo music until he was a college student. Those were simple facts and only broad details, however, it brought new depth to their relationship.

Logan walked Virgil to his front door and waved goodbye as Virgil walked inside. Virgil walked into their apartment, gave a two-fingered salute to Logan (who gave a small wave goodbye), and watched Logan walk away as he closed the door.

“What was that?” Janus asked accusingly.

“Oh, I ran into Logan on my walk home and he offered to walk me home.” Virgil divulged.

“You mean The Logan Croft? The Logan Croft with eyes that are like golden brown honey? With hair that looks like a dark chocolate mousse? By the way, why do you describe him using bakery type foods?” Janus asked, teasing Virgil.

“Yeah, we had a nice conversation on the way home,” Virgil said, baiting Janus with a fishhook of information.

“I think that we need to have a gossip night again, so I will be making the popcorn, you get the drinks,” Janus said, bluntly and full of curiosity.

Virgil chuckled, glad Janus caught the bait. He got up and started to make the hot cocoa, ready to share every detail of the night.

Logan continued walking, tired and happy, indescribably happy. He could definitely try, he knew words, but Virgil elicited a special kind of reaction that he could never begin to decipher. Logan was happy and if he thought about it, maybe he was falling in love.

Logan was able to make it home safely in his dazed state, and when he got home, he walked into his apartment. He closed the front door and just leaned against the back of the door. Remus happened to hear the door close and looked to see where Logan was. He saw Logan in his starstruck state and felt the need to hopelessly tease rise up in him. “Logan’s got a boyfriend, Logan’s got a boyfriend. Gonna finally get f-,” Remus singsonged until he got cut off.

“Alright, that’s enough. Firstly, I am pan, could easily be a girl or a nonbinary person. Secondly, if you are referring to Virgil, they use they/them and may not want to be referred to as a boyfriend. Thirdly, They likely don’t feel the same,” Logan said, sobering up.

Remus realized that Logan was definitely sensitive about the subject. So, he called Roman into the living room, grabbed some blankets, set a movie up, and went to make cocoa. Tonight was going to be a comfortable gossip night. He texted Janus, saying he may be a bit slow on responding because Logan needed to be listened to.

Both groups had a gossip night, though one was more lighthearted and the other was more of a rant session, both parties ended up feeling more satisfied with how they felt and hopeful that their feelings were reciprocated.

To Be Continued

Hi. This is my birthday gift to myself because I'm now an adult legally and I can do what I want.

#Nic writes #nicfics #Janus Sanders #virgil sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #remus sanders #roman sanders #Analogical #royality #remile #dukeceit #reblogs help a lot #not gonna beg though #sanders sides

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perreosolx · 5 years ago

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Very saddened to finally realize that gerard probably just played with Bert frank and lynz’s feelings but also I cannot judge him and I even understand why he did it at some extent because I’ve literally done that to people too I think of it as not wanting/being ready to come out because maybe he doesn’t even really know for sure his own business so HOW would he explain it?? WHAT would he say?? I totally get that because I am in that territory myself, I haven’t come out to anyone really I mean I told a friend that i liked a girl a long time ago and she kinda did change her behavior around me ever since so that’s why I’ve been so reluctant to really really take that step plus I’m not sure about my gender AT ALL so that’s another thing, and based on my overall background regarding sexuality and gender I’ve never had like an official, serious, fr fr queer relationship, yeah I had that long distance entirely online thing with a girl when I was a teen and I’ve had one time flings but I haven’t been able to bring myself to take the bull by horns or whatever because a serious relationship would require actually going out in public places and introducing my friends and family and I just CAN’T I have SO MUCH to lose and I’m TERRIFIED so my guessing is that there’s a possibility that gerard feels a similar way, like ok maybe not because he’s gonna get thrown out of his parents house but maybe because he really didn’t want to come out and then be forever labeled as The Gay Singer from that band and thus have mcr become a Gay Band because you KNOW that’s exactly what the media would’ve done and honestly it just doesn’t seem fair for everyone else in the band, like I’m sure they probably wouldn’t really give a fuck to be called f*gs or stuff like that but the world just wouldn’t have taken their work as seriously as they have done and still do and they wouldn’t have had the success they did even if they just did the exact same fucking music because like it or not the world STILL is homophobic. Where I think he really really fucked up for no reason tho, was in not telling his own friends this, I really feel like he neve explained this to anyone like maybe MAYBE Mikey but who knows tbh? I feel like he just led both Bert and Frank on and when they wanted the whole deal, go public or something, he just cut them out of his life like some fuckboy, which is why Bert is Still Hurt to this day and why Frank wrote all that angry poetry, and ok I’m gonna allow myself to be annoying for a second here, those two? Doubtlessly in love, man. I honestly feel very strongly about this because looking at them, their interactions, Frank’s poems, their songs, just everything.... it reminds me of me and the girl I first fell in love with, this girl that ALSO played with my teenage confusion and led me on for years on end until I just Had to cut her out because it simply wasn’t letting me live my life, always waiting for her while she was away doing things and people I always had to find out from thirds, this awful feeling when she was away from me and then this divine feeling when we were together, this is what they remind me of. Frank’s longing and Gerard’s indecision. And after letting her go I just went back to dating men and presenting myself as a woman and it was fucking awful, everything about it felt Wrong until I found this boy, this beautiful man that is super artsy, constantly in touch with his femininity, unable to hurt a fly, so soft and funny and pure and wholesome and basically made of rainbows, you know...... like a girl. We’re engaged. But I always end up wondering, am I gonna marry him because I am in love with him or because he’s the closest thing to a girl I’m ever gonna allow my coward self to tie the knot with? It’s a thought that haunts me, because I really don’t know. Which then reminds me, wouldn’t you say Lindsey is a little masculine? With the tattoos and the style and the way she just carries herself with that ugly confidence only a heterosexual man can have? Her fingers must feel rough, I’m sure.

#shitmonsays #im sorry i just had to get it out of my chest #mcr #gerard #frank #bert #lynz

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duchessofostergotlands · 5 years ago

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What kind of music do you like? :)

Hey :) the boring answer is that I’m quite eclectic in my music tastes. I have a soft spot for the music I listened to with my parents. They were born in the early to mid 70s so for my dad he was around the same age as Kurt Cobain and he introduced me to Nirvana and other bands from that Grunge, Seattle scene like Soundgarden, Mudhoney, Alice in Chains, Pearl Jam etc. Nirvana are special to me and my dad in particular. There was this time when I was about 12 when he was driving his work car that had a tape player and no CD player so one of the tapes he found was of Bleach and we used to listen to that over and over in the car on the way to school (it was an hour journey). We both waited for months so we could watch the documentary about him together. My mum was also a nirvana fan but she was a raver so she introduced me to dance music. Faithless, The Prodigy, Massive Attack, Tricky, Leftfield. She also used to listen to a lot of kick ass female singers and so I grew up with Bjork, Skunk Anansie, Garbage, Lauryn Hill, No Doubt, Alanis Morissette, Moloko. Basically if you are in your mid 40s you would think my music taste is fucking cooooool hahaha. I was an emo myself in my early teens and listened to Panic At the Disco, MCR, Funeral for a Friend, Alexisonfire etc. Those songs give me nostalgic feels so I occasionally listen to their stuff from the mid 2000s. But I’m totally open to loads of different kinds of music. I have Rammstein and Slayer to 21 Savage and Childish Gambino to Duran Duran to Britney Spears.

#ask #anon #non royal #personal #music

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negasonicimagines · 7 years ago

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Thanks, Wade.

Finally, someone other than Dawna has given me an idea to run with! Thanks so much to @ceylon-morphe286 !! You’re an absolute sweetheart and I had so much fun working with you to create this piece!! (Also, I know Deadpool doesn’t hurt kids, but for comedic purposes let’s just say he does. And, clearly, he’s a good enough marksman to miss on purpose, so he could be fucking with you.)

The battle was quite graphic, you honestly don’t know how you got in the middle of it. One second, you were strolling around the city, listening to Danger Days, the next you were in danger. A boulder flies at your head, and you’re shoved out of the way.

“Hey, dumbass, are you trying to get yourself killed?!”

“You saved me,” you say, gaping at the angel in front of you.

“Kind of my job, shit-for-brains.”

“Thank you, for saving my life and all,” is all you have to say.

“We’ve been over this. It’s what I do. Weirdo. Scram!”

“Agh! What did I do?!” You question the red-suited superhero-looking guy who’s currently shooting at you.

“You bought the last chocolate chip cookie!” he yells back, chasing you through the streets.

Until you’re clipped by a bus.

“Oh my god, she fuckin’ dead,” Wade references a Vine.

“Deadpool!” Your rescuer from the other day groans, recognizing you. “I just saved her life, could you try not ending it?”

“B..but my cookie…”

“Who gives a fuck?” She asks him, before turning her attention to you. “Where are you hurt?”

“I, uh… I might have a bruise on my shin?”

She looks at you critically, and when she helps you up, her hand touching yours, even for a second, makes you blush.

“You’re really lucky you’re not, y’know, dead. That bus was speeding and ran a red light,” She explains, and you barely manage to hear her, too focused on her face. “What’s with that dopey expression of yours? You don’t have a concussion, do you? I don’t want to deal with that.”

“Um… N-no concussion, I don’t think…”

“Good. Well, uh, see you around, I guess. Since you keep getting in danger and all.”

You were helping your cousin’s girl scout troop sell cookies by supervising them as they went door to door when the apartment you were in lit up in flames. All that was there was a Janitor’s cart, and the fire was getting closer and closer. It was blocking your way to the door, but you were close to the window.

“Toss the cleaners out the window so they don’t blow up,” you tell the girls, not even sure where that came from. Fire department is taking too long. “Hey, you guys learned how to braid, right?”

The girls, all terrified, nod. You offer them giant rolls of toilet paper. “Let’s get closer to the window, and we can braid it tight, long, and fast, okay? And then we’ll braid those braids together, to make a rope.”

You and the four girls you’re with work as hard as you can. The fire department gets there once you’re done, and the girls climb down the rope and safely land on the trampoline. They can only get down one at a time, and you’re sure you weigh as much as at the very least one and a half of them.

You accept your fate, glad you could at least help the little girls get to safety when she comes in.

“It’s about time I introduced myself, considering I’ve saved your stupid ass so many times. Negasonic Teenage Warhead.”

“Is that your real name?”

“Fuck no! What kind of shitty ass parents do you think I have? Come on, I’m fireproof, I’ll help you get to safety, whatever your probably dumb and totally not a cool code-name name is.”

“Y/N,” you tell her.

Damn it, why’s she gotta have a name as pretty as her face? Ellie thinks, taking your hand and leading you out of the flames, tossing flaming wreckage out of the way and allowing you to escape.

“Are you trying to kill yourself?” She asks.

“No, I was looking at the sunset. And then I fell.”

She snickers cruelly at this as her mentor reaches down and plucks you from where you dangle off the edge of your roof.

“Young one, there are many resources if you are feeling sad. This is not a solution.”

“I’m not trying to kill myself, I promise!” You inform them. “...I’m just clumsy, that’s all,” you add shyly.

You’re at the farmer’s market about to pluck an apple from a pyramid of fruits.

“Stop right there, Klutzy McGee, you’re not even touching that!” Deadpool stops you.

“Please don’t shoot me! There are plenty of other apples.”

“What? I’m not gonna shoot you, I’m gonna take you to your girlfriend!” He informs.

“I- I don’t have a girlfriend,” you tell DP, maybe he’s got you confused for someone else.

“Not yet!” He chirps, dragging you along by your wrist to a rather large home, well, a mansion. He knocks hard on the door and none other than Negasonic Teenage Warhead answers.

“I got your girlfriend!” He says cheerfully, and you blush deeply, but shake your head.

“She’s...Not my girlfriend.”

“Don’t be like that, Nega-hedgehog YA Novel Atomic Thing! You two would make a great couple!”

She looks at him skeptically, and then you, with a concerned expression. You realize you probably look like a tomato on steroids.

“You’re not going to spontaneously combust, are you? That gig’s kinda taken,” she informs you. ‘Do you want me to call the police?’ she mouths, and you shake your head.

“Ah, Deadpool and Y/N! Come in, have lunch!” Colossus says cheerfully.

You all eat BLTs, though Wade insists on having a knife with his to “feast upon it as the ancient lettuce-hunters would have.”

“So, Y/N, what would you like to do with your future?”

“I don’t know. I like helping people, maybe I’ll do something like be a nurse or a teacher.”

“Ooh, I like that!” Deadpool comments, gesturing with his steak knife and making you a little uneasy. You just know something bad is gonna happen with that knife.

“Ellie, pay attention,” Colossus requests, placing a hand on her shoulder. She shrugs it off, turning up the volume on her headphones to the point where you can hear it.

“You like MCR too?” You ask her.

“Uh, yeah… How can you hear this?”

“You have it cranked up really high,” you inform her.

“I can not hear it,” Piotr informs, and DP agrees. The two look curious.

“Oh, it’s nothing special. Just good hearing.”

“Well, damn. I was hoping you’d have an excuse to spend more time to spend with that grouchy teen over the-” He gestures towards Negasonic with the knife, and accidentally throws it at her face. You manage to catch it rather close to her face, gripping the blade. Blood drips down your wrist from your hand, and she looks at it with wide eyes, as does the rest of the group. “I stand corrected.”

“That is not normal, young one,” Colossus informs.

“Really? I’m sure she had no clue that it wasn’t completely fucking normal to catch knives thrown at people’s faces by a mercenary!” Deadpool snarks.

“Well done,” Ellie remarks, not to you, but to Wade’s sass skills.

“Have you always had such fast reflexes, Y/N?” Piotr asks.

“Uh, I mean, I guess. I would say I’ve been more, more lucky than anything.”

“But you’re always in trouble!” DP disagrees.

“And I’m not dead,” you point out.

“Ah…” Colossus sighs pensively.

Wade gets out one of his many knives from his belt and tosses it at Ellie. You catch this one as well, with your other hand.

“What the hell, Wilson?! Trying to kill me, now?”

“Not at all. Trying to get Y/N to save you. Ooh, watch this!” He aims so it’ll barely brush her shoulder, not that anyone else knows that when he shoots the pistol.

You catch the bullet between your wounded hands like a fly, feeling the burn.

“She’s totally a superhero, Iron Dick! Wait, that’s better for a different superhero in the Marvel universe, forget I said that one.”

“I’m not a superhero, I can barely take care of myself, let alone save people.”

“You saved Ellie three times from one of the best hit men in the world.”

“Well, I only saved her because-”

“Because you want to fuck her!” Wade cuts you off, and you look scandalized, a blush creeping onto your cheeks. Piotr and Ellie look at him like he’s insane, which he is, but- “What?! I see the goo-goo eyes Y/N gives her when she rescues her. I see the way Ellie looks at Y/N’s ass! Someone had to say something!”

You wish the ground underneath you would just vanish, you’re so embarrassed by his words that you don’t even notice his comment about Ellie checking you out.

“Y/N, would you like to join us? You are a gifted young girl and...”

“In case you missed the sign, this is kind of a place for gifted young people,” Wade finishes.

“I- I don’t really think I can help you, I’m sorry,” you deny his request.

“You can. I saw what you did for those girl scouts, and you said you wanted to help people earlier, right?” So, she was listening.

At Ellie’s insistence, you decide: “Oh.. Okay.”

“Yes! Another moody teen to annoy! Finally! I can’t get a rise out of any of the others!”

“Let us take you to the infirmary,” Piotr says.

“I’ll do it,” Ellie offers, walking you down the halls of the surprisingly quiet school. Deadpool follows closely behind, wanting to hear every detail of his OTP’s conversation.

The nurse, a mutant with the power to heal others, quickly fixes your wounds.

“Thanks for doing that, earlier. Saving me, I mean.” “W-well, I mean, I had to make it up to you s-somehow. All- All those times y-you saved me, I mean…” You tell her, more shy now that it’s pretty much just the two of you. You stand, walking over to the sink to wash the gunpowder off your hands. You lean against the counter, but you slip on a stray glob of hand-sanitizer that happened to be on the floor, grabbing onto a cot for purchase and trying to get up only causing you to slip more and more until you give up and let your face smush into the hardwood floor.

Ellie giggles at this, and you swear she sounds like an angel when she laughs.

You get up, rubbing your nose.

“Y’know, if you want to be one of the big shots like Colossus or whatever, you’re gonna have to be a lot less clumsy than that.”

Wade crashes into the infirmary. “Y’all having sex yet? I brought popcorn and dental dams!”

You and Ellie both look at him, like ‘WTF DUDE I’M TRYING BUT YOU KEEP COCK-BLOCKING!’

“Uh… I’m gonna go make some chimichangas. Lucky by Britney Spears, you better confess to Moody Teen Number Three before she puts those earbuds back in!” He dashes away.

“Why does he feel the need to play Fairy God-merc?” You ask her pitifully.

“Confess what to me…?” she asks you.

“Um- Uh- I- I killed the Easter Bunny!” You sigh, isntead deciding to tell the truth: “No, uh… I like you. LIke, uh, like-like you. I think you’re really pretty and mysterious and funny, and, I’m not really any of those things, so it’s cool if you don’t feel that way about me, but-”

She laughs at you, like it’s so funny that someone as horrid as you would like her. “You..Like me?”

“Yeah, it’s dumb, I know, sorry for wasting your ti-” Ellie grabs your arm as soon as you turn around, and kisses you.

Oh, you think. Thanks, Wade.

#marvel #Ellie Phimister #ellie phimister imagine #ellie phimister x reader #negasonic teenage warhead #negasonic teenage warhead x reader #negasonic teenage warhead imagine #negasonicteenageimagines #x-men imagine #x-men fanfiction #marvel fanfiction

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spookysshadow · 7 years ago

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The Lewistern AU no one asked for but imma write it anyway so hold on tight ft Claia

Jonathan Morgenstern is a grungy college student who studies Chemical Engineering because he’s a NERD. He had an emo phase during his teen years and never really got over it. Ergo the constant band t’s and the huge poster of MCR in his room. Jonathan is hella protective of his smol sis, despite the fact she could take on anyone if angered enough.

So when smol Clary walks into their apartment after school in first grade on a day Jonathan was sick at home, he is surprised to see a smol thing with brown hair and huge ass glasses come through. Immediately he doesn’t trust the dude, until he smiles at him. Then he thinks he’s having a heart attack.

That is how it goes for the most part. Simon becomes a constant in their life. Where ever Clary is, Simon will be right behind. He knows Simon likes his sister, he can see it. He also knows that Clary doesn’t like him like that. In fact, he’s pretty sure Clary doesn’t like boys in general. If the fact she hasn’t stopped staring at Maureen. ��But she’s so smart, brother. And she has a pretty laugh.”

He doesn’t think much about him, except that he really does have a nice smile and a really nice laugh. But Jonathan is oblivious to anything else. Like the way Simon sometimes looks at him when he’s laughing with Luke and his Mom. Or how his eyes brighten when Jonathan ruffles his hair after a Baseball game.

Years pass and Jonathan learns to play the drums and tries to form a band. He’s struggling to find a guitarist when he walks into the Lewis residence because “Becca, I need my textbook back, it’s not my fault you forget everything at school.” when he sees Simon jamming to his guitar in his room.

And, look okay, so Jonathan may have a thing about guitar players. In fact all of his major crushes have been guitar players. Like Calum from 8th period in 7th grade. Who also had brown hair and brown eyes and glasses. Sue him.

Anyway, so his brain short circuits for a bit before he walks into Simon’s room and tells him he’s hired. Simon is a confused, before Jonathan finally explains his band idea. Of course, nothing in Jonathan’s life is easy, so Simon apologetically tells him he’s already in a band.

Jonathan is not bitter. Not is the slightest. And no Clary, he’s not sulking.

“Really, then why are you eating ice cream? You know you’re lactose intolerant.”

“Death is sweeter this way.”

“Alrighty then. MOM JONATHAN IS TRYING TO DIE VIA LACTOSE.”

Needless to say, Jonathan finds a guitarist. Calum is available, but its not as exciting as 13 year old him expected. Still he sees Simon whenever they have band nights in the local cafes. Its usually him, Maureen, and some punk named Eric. Whatever. And then he watches as sings and is once again blown away. Seriously, not fair.

Still, he guesses it is fun watching Simon play and then knowing he’ll be in the crowd watching him. And if his heart soars when Simon bounces up next to him saying that he was awesome or so talented on the drums, well, he’ll deny it.

For a while it’s okay, but then Simon starts seeing this girl Maia and Jonathan kinda feels like shit. So he starts sleeping with Calum, and Eric, and everyone really. And he doesn’t stick around for Simon’s shows anymore. And when he comes over he just stays in his room and doesn’t leave until Simon is gone.

Clary gets concerned and wants to confront him about it, but then Jonathan is graduating and he spends the majority of his summer with his friends or out of the apartment and more importantly away from Simon. Then he’s off to NYU and he only calls Clary, Luke and his mom every few days to keep them updated.

Simon on the other hand can’t figure out what he did. Seriously. All he knows is that Jonathan started ghosting him, doesn’t return his texts and if he does they’re one worded or blunt. He tries asking Maia but she’s busy trying to convince Clary that they should totally date. And when he sees Calum and Jonathan making out after a show, he feels his heart drop, because of course, he remembers Jonathan’s huge ass crush on Calum, and now he’s got him.

And then Jonathan sleeps with Eric and he hates it. Hates it. Hates it so much. And suddenly Jonathan has slept with all of his friends and he’s just so confused. Like, what a way to tell a guy you’re not interested in him. And he doesn’t say hi or talk to him or smile at him anymore and Simon is just so upset and hurt.

Clary officially thinks boys are idiots and finally takes Maia out on a date, much to Maia’s delight. Together the girls do their best to get Simon out of his funk.

“Seriously Simon you can’t just eat poptarts for the rest of your life.”

“Why not? They make me happy.”

“Babe, can you bring me a nerf gun?”

“Already ahead of you.”

So Maia starts dragging Simon to the gym with her and the boy puts on some muscle. They have rom com nights, which are good intentions but just kinda make him feel lonely. But the exercise helps and suddenly he’s writing songs again and before anyone realizes it its winter break. And Jonathan comes home.

He’s changed a bit. He’s also more muscular, though thats mostly because Alec needed a workout buddy and Jace was still in high school with his sis. He’s made some new friends, Sebastian Verlac who is the biggest dork second only to Simon with he’s fucking suspenders and good boy attitude. Really it’s delightful teasing him. And Alec is hilarious with his grumpy attitude and his lawful tendencies, and of course when they get him drunk enough to wax poetic about his not so secret crush on his Poly Sci TA, one gorgeous Magnus Bane. He loves them really, they’re an odd pair of really tall people, but it works.

But he misses Simon. He misses late night jokes and Star Wars trivia. He misses someone helping him with music and his beats. He misses his smile and witty humor. He misses his horrible puns and cult classics. He misses Simon Lewis. And he realizes after Clary announces who her girlfriend is, that Maia is a proud lesbian and in no way was she ever dating Simon.

So when he walks into his home he greets Luke and his mom with a hug, a kiss on the cheek and a hair ruffle for his Sister, and then he walks into the kitchen to grab a glass of water, and stops.

Simon Lewis stares at him, holding a bag of doritos, in a nice tight long sleeved shirt, sweatpants, and his signature Chewbacca fuzzy socks and Jonathan has to remind himself to breathe.

“Hi”

“Hey”

It’s painfully awkward, because the last time Jonathan saw this kid, he brushed him off and now he knows he was wrong and he damns his jealousy and inability to calmly read a situation. Still, after a bit of awkwardness, Simon smiles softly at him and he thinks for a moment that this is a start.

It’s slow, Jonathan trying to reach out to Simon and mend what he broke, but Simon has always been forgiving and Jonathan is immensely grateful for that. When he explains why he was such an asshole, Simon laughs and explains that Maia became friends with him to meet Clary. Aka the really cute redhead with the freckles and button nose.

Things get better and by the time Jonathan returns for his spring semester him and SImon are back on good terms. He visits his family physically more often. Sometimes he drags SImon on to campus with him, just to show him around. He introduces his sister, Maia, and Simon to Alec and Sebastian, and they all get along. Alec swears he is confused by Simon’s existence, but he can tell that Alec would literally punch anyone who would look at him funny.

Its sometime in April when Simon gets his acceptance letter to NYU. Its the weekend and Luke and Jocelyn are on a weekend get away because they are tired. And Clary and Maia are hanging out at the Mall, when Simon stops by and tells him the news. He’s so excited and he’s jumping up and down, and Jonathan is so happy for him and suddenly Simon’s in his arms and Simon’s hands are cradling Jonathan’s face and they’re kissing.

When they pull back, they stare at each other in shock, but Jonathan doesn’t let go. Simon asks if that was okay and Jonathan can’t help the smile that breaks out across his face.

“Yeah, that’s perfect.”

“Good.”

Then they live happily ever after. The End.

#lewistern #well i ship it now #only in this au though #Simon Lewis #jonathan morgenstern #come join me #the problem with long hiatus is that now i ship things

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sevenclowds · 8 years ago

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Frank Weekend

My account of going to see Frank Iero and the Patience play at the Baltimore Soundstage in Maryland, Sat Apr 22 2017.

My companions for the weekend are my 19 yr old and my friend's 16 yr old daughter. Both their names begin with C and will henceforth be known collectively as C&C. My teen was forced to listen introduced to MCR from the age of 7 and obviously has great musical taste. My friend's teen is a huge fan of the Emo Trinity, but is not familiar with Frank's non-MCR work. "Is Frank the drummer for MCR?" she asks innocently. Oh dear. We gotta lotta educating to do this weekend. Someone needs to save this poor child.

[Very long post. You probably want to put the kettle on for this.]

We leave North Carolina at 8am and make our first stop at 10am at a Starbucks. It is here that I purchase a fateful cup of coffee that will keep me buzzed for the next 19 hrs. Just how strong is Starbucks Pike Place Roast? And what on earth possessed me, a caffeine lightweight, to get a grande instead of a tall? It'll help me keep awake while driving, I thought. Someone punch me.

I treat C&C to my music on the drive. My iTunes music library appears to be like my blog: 95% MCR with the occasional snippet of something random. We make sure to play plenty of Frank, for educational purposes. C&C are huge Hamilton nerds and we listen to the soundtrack as we near DC. As we pass the capital city, I point out that Washington is now literally on our side. Groan. #momjokes

We arrive at our hotel in Baltimore around 4pm, then go out around 5pm. We walk past The Soundstage and there are lots of people lined up waiting to get in. I'm so happy to see several Frank fans wearing the same Death Spells hoodie as me and as we walk past I feel really fucking cool! These are my people! My tribe! They will see my DS merch and know that I am one of them! Whereas last week, walking round Harris Teeter, I felt vaguely conspicuous in my black hoodie with the scorpion on the back, but now, I fit in. I am home. If I didn't have C&C with me I would be lining up there with them. But I have to feed my teens and not leave them to stand outside in the rain, so I sigh, and head toward Shake Shack for some food that we'll loosely call "dinner", like a grown up.

After eating some fries, we head to a spiffy steampunky Barnes & Noble where C&C, both devoted book nerds, are in heaven and bond further over their love of fiction. I'm itching to get to the venue but it's still raining and cold and they're having so much fun that we don't head over there until about 7.30pm.

VIP Ticket Fiasco Two months previously, when buying the tickets online, I wasn't quite fast enough to get the VIP tickets and I sat at my computer spitting curses and venom at those who managed to buy them in 0.2 milliseconds flat. The VIP experience included a private acoustic session before the show, a copy of Parachutes, and a seat in the posh table-and-chairs bit near the side of the stage. But alas, it wasn't to be so I made do with the regular tickets.

So, as we enter the venue, we're informed that we can upgrade to the posh section for an extra $10 each. C&C look thrilled at this idea, and my kid has issues with being in crowds and had been intending to stand quietly near the back, so this is a fantastic opportunity to get a great view without the crush. I relent and upgrade, even though I'm crying inside because I know we've missed out on the private session earlier and I just want to die. Fuck me, I get to sit at a table like somebody's mom. Kill me now. My plan is to stay with C&C for a couple of songs and then venture out into the crowd, but that damn parental mode kicks in and I feel guilty about leaving them so I stay. But actually, the view is really great, even though the atmosphere in the VIP area is nonexistent.

Dave Hause and the Mermaid open the show with some so-so rock stuff. Perfectly fine and competent band to fill the time, although nothing too exciting until the last song, dedicated to Trump, and called Dirty Fucker, causes the crowd to go wild.

Then Frank Iero and his Beardy Wondergroup come out, launch into World Destroyer, and time ceases to exist. It's the first time I've seen Frank since 2007 when he wore his Black Parade jacket (sniff) so I'm very emotional and I'm grinning the whole time. I realize I don't know as many lyrics as I'd like to, on account of Frank lyrics being hard to learn without serious study, which I haven't had time for. I do my best and probably sing a pile of nonsense for the most part. He tells us that today is the first time he's showered in 5 days. Why so gross? He tells us a story about how bad the crime is in Baltimore, which makes everyone nervous about getting home tonight.

I take some great photos

And some not so great photos

After the show, we head to the pizza place next to the venue to kill time until the band hopefully come out. We huddle in the corner by the door and eat pizza. I can't really taste it. Maybe it's because it's gluten free and vegan, maybe it's because I'm really not quite in my body. I realize I'm shaking and figure it's still The Coffee I had earlier plus added adrenaline and fatigue.

I message Kyle @casesandcapitals to come meet us in the pizza place because I know he's here somewhere and we've never met before. Next thing I know, Jen @jen--ne--sais--quoi and Kyle are walking in and I realize three fundamental truths at the exact same time:

1. Jen has intimidating make-up skills

2. Kyle IS recognizable without the 5ft tall metal flamingo

3. These people are way too cool for me

I am a little excitable and extra when meeting them and their friends Abbi @grewuponyourbackporch and Cole, but mainly because Jen's jacket is all kinds of awesome.

My new friends eat pizza and go outside to wait again but it's too cold for us so we stay in the restaurant. I feel really sick, I'm still shaking and I feel like crap. In my fevered state I manage to post the same pic to Facebook twice and cannot for the life of me get anyone's name right in the above photo that I post to tumblr. My brain has gone. I'm a mess. I'm not really in my body and I wonder if they'll put "death by frank" as my cause of death.

We go to join everyone outside at about 1.30am because those band members aren't going to meet themselves and we don't want to miss it. It's fucking freezing! You can tell the direction that everyone has traveled to the show by how many blankets they're shivering under. Southerners are suffering and northerners don't give a shit because they're tough as nails. My kid discovers their Hamilton hoodie isn't at all warm but I'm not going to give them my hoodie because I need to meet Frank in my Death Spells hoodie because I'm shallow and a really bad parent. I actually choose to let a child freeze because I want Frank to know I'm a fan and not just someone's mom. Priorities, people!

Evan and Alex keep appearing and disappearing again. They mill around and meet folks, clearly enjoying themselves or at least faking it really well. Me and C&C go stand in the parking garage entrance for a bit because it's possibly 5 degrees warmer than outside. It's 2.20am. C&C want to give it until 2.30 before we leave. It's clear by now that Frank isn't going to come out. But he ALWAYS comes out. I'm faced with the reality of having to leave without meeting him and I'm distraught. I comfort C&C because I feel bad for making them wait all this time but they end up comforting and hugging me. They tell me to wait until 3am and to come speak to Evan because he's being adorable and there's hardly anyone left so we'll have him to ourselves. And so we do, and he's just the loveliest, sweetest man and he fixates on the fact that me and the kiddo are British, haha! We tell him we drove 8 hrs today and he should come to North Carolina. He agrees and says he loves Chapel Hill so maybe that'll happen some day (yeah right). He imparts wisdom on doing what you love and not being obsessed with grades because they won't matter once you leave school. He starts talking to someone else and just as we're thinking of leaving, there's a tap on my shoulder and someone behind me yells, "Oh! Nando's!" It's Evan again, wanting to tell me about his favorite British experience - a restaurant that serves the best chicken. He's so enthusiastic as we discuss Nando's menu, particularly the veggie options and the bean burger. Hilarious! He's my new favorite person without a doubt.

It's 3am and we leave, jogging back to the hotel (because Frank's made us nervous about Baltimore). We get to the room and I get into bed in my clothes because it's too cold to consider taking anything off. My body is still buzzing (can it STILL be The Coffee from this morning or is it shivering?). I get maybe 1-2 hrs sleep because my mind insists on composing Hamilton/FIATP hybrid songs and some of them are actually quite good so I stay up and listen to the inside of my head.

Next day we drive back to NC. It takes 7.5 hrs. I force C&C to listen to the entire Death Spells album and even a little bit of Leathermouth just because I know it's what Jen would have wanted 💜

#frank iero #frank iero and the patience #fiatp #evan nestor #matt olsson #alex grippo #apr 22 2017 #apr 22 show #baltimore #maryland #baltimore soundstage #adultishbandomnet #my show #my photos

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kentkennyradcliffe · 5 years ago

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April 26th 1991 – April 26th 2010 (18 years)

Birth (0-1):

In Bloom – Nirvana

I was born into the grunge movement, and the album never mind by nirvana was a landmark album for the band. I never knew about nirvana until I was much older, in my teens, but after listening to the entire album, I really liked In Bloom the most. I feel like it could be about me. It captures the teenage attitude perfectly, an attitude that I always wanted to avoid.

Baby (2-3):

Jeremy – Pearl Jam

I heard this song when I was two I think and it stuck with me ever since. I always hear the guitar part in my head when I am about to do something I shouldn’t do.

The Voice – The Moody Blues

Tuesday Afternoon – The Moody Blues

I Know You’re Out There Somewhere – The Moody Blues

My mom used to play these songs in a cassette in this order. I remember always liking the first song the most . I would listen to it constantly, and always wanted to hear it when mom would play it in the car. All of these songs made me feel good as a little boy, especially Tuesday Afternoon and I Know You’re Out There Somewhere. Tuesday Afternoon has a part in the song when the singer hits this note for almost 30 seconds, and I used to challenge myself to see if I could hold the note too. I never could do it as a little boy, but as I got older, I trained myself to do it. It always frustrated me when I would have to gasp for air after about 20 seconds. I Know You’re Out There Somewhere reminds me of my first dog Brownie. She was a vicious dog to strangers, and since we didn’t have a fence, we had to let her go when we moved to Kentucky when I was about 3. The song was playing when my mom told me that Brownie was gone, so I told myself as a little boy that I “would find her somehow, somehow, somehow.” It never happened, and as I got older I forgot about her. Maybe when I got my new dog star, it sort of made me forget, but now that I think about it, I think I knew deep down that Brownie was better off on that farm. At least there she could run around and be free.

Kid (4-13):

You Don’t Have to Say You Love Me – Dusty Springfield

This song was my go-to for help when I was confused and my parents were of no help. I couldn’t talk to them about my sexuality. I was condemned.

Freshmen year:

I first heard of fall out boy, all American rejects, panic at the disco, 30 seconds to mars, and bands like that in my drama class, my very first class in my very first year of high school. A boy with mohawk hair and gauges sat behind me and his friend (a girl who looked like she rolled out of bed each morning) always talked about music. One day she brought in a cd with four guys on the cover, in a silhouette fashion, with what looked like a stage with red curtains in front of them. These four guys are sitting facing towards the stage, and if I remember correctly there was a tree or a cab or something in the stage. The title of this album was called From Under the Cork Tree and it was by the band Fall Out Boy. I never heard of them and was interested in the band, so I asked to see the cd. The girl showed me her favorite song. The title was long, and I lost interest right then and there. I never realized this band was going to become major in about 3 months. I figured it was a local band too, I never took the time to ask what genre they were or where she got the cd from. So, I dismissed the band and instead kept listening to my Avril Lavigne and no doubt. When I went home I turned on the radio to the station I always played, 99.7 djx, and after while I heard my first fall out boy song, sugar we’re going down. I liked the song, and that is when I became a follower of the emo scene that would become huge in the next year. My friends at this time where two goth/emo girls who knew how to be rebels. They were redheads and twins. One girl always wore crazy goth clothes, the other would have on something fun, like Pokémon or some anime t shirt. They rode my bus and had me listen to music I cannot even remember, but they got me into the punk scene. There was also a girl named Shelby who rode my bus too, and she played the knack my sharona, and I loved it. She was a huge rush fan, but I never got into that band. I remember hearing all the songs that were popular 2006 on the bus. Like lose control my missy Elliot, my immortal by evanescence, a lot of rap and hip hop, and Kelly Clarkson. I was introduced to prince that year, but never got into him until my sophomore year.

Sophomore Year:

I was entering my second quarter of the second semester of my sophomore year. I used to use a music website called project playlist to discover music. Everyone that I knew on myspace had one, because you could have up to 100 songs on it, so much better than the one song that myspace used to let you have, now myspace even lets you have playlists. But back when it was new and hip, project playlist was like finding pandoras box, I discovered so many songs and artists from that website. I could listen to any song I wanted, without having to buy it, so I looked up all the bands that my friends were talking about, like My Chemical Romance, AFI, The Used, Paramore, act… I used it to listen to classic songs by David Bowie, Madonna, Prince, Michael Jackson, Queen… I also was into the movie Moulin Rouge. I heard my first David bowie songs (heroes, diamond dogs) and Madonna songs (like a virgin, material girl) in that movie. I credit that movie for my taste in music actually. I never would have known who Bowie was until much later in life if not for Moulin Rouge. I also looked up U2 (in the name of love) and queen (the show must go on) I went out and bought 3 CDs that pretty much defined the last half of my sophomore year: I’m not dead by pink, Greatest hits platinum by queen (which included 3 CDs, the first being there classic rock songs, the second their 80’s hits, and the last one with solo stuff by Freddie and the 90’s hits) and The Immaculate Collection by Madonna. Later during the summer I bought Mika’s debut cd – Life in Cartoon Motion. I fucking loved that cd. Every song in it meant something to me. Then I bought The New York Dolls Life in Manhattan Cd and Feists Cd the Reminder. All these musicians I discovered through YouTube, project playlist, or myspace. So I give them a lot of thanks.

Junior year:

The beginning of my junior year, I was a happy, fun, person. Everyone knew me, and everyone knew about me. I was comfortable with myself and outgoing and headstrong. The music I liked was still a carryover from the summer, (New York dolls, feast, mika) and my friends knew I liked the emo stuff and the weird stuff. I never was actually emo, I never dressed like it, or even tried to be associated with the scene, but as time went on, I would find things to be changing. I went to a concert called less fest and saw a band called sum 41. I really liked their energy. I remember I went with some friends who would later become my best friends, like taylr, cory, coty, logan. I was also becoming close to Sydney during that time, but we didn’t become good friends till later. I remember seeing kimmy and sally and lots of people. But things went south after that night, I was drunk and planning to get with Logan later. It was a well-known fact that I went both ways back then, and Logan wanted to join in on the fun. I remember being excited about the whole thing, I thought this was going to mean a possible relationship, but I realized the next day that any hopes for a boyfriend were gone. This sent me down a path that was destructive, and I ended up turning to drugs. At first it was simply pot, and I was familiar with it. Over the summer I smoked it for the first time down in Florida and liked it a lot. I was reading a book called the perks of being a wallflower at the time too, and I looked up the music in that book. I had a friend named Lauren who introduced me to a band called chiodos, which got me into the whole screamo/posthardcore scene, and I began to lose my head with the drugs. I became closer friends with Sydney and we hung out a lot. She confided in me that she was bisexual, and we talked a lot about our experiences. I went to a lot of parties that fall and became hooked on cocaine. It was a drug I should have avoided, but I didn’t. And around late October Halloween I lost it. I told the whole school about what Logan and I did, I turned to Sydney for support and help and then we began dating as a cover up for our sexuality, well more for her, so her parents wouldn’t think she was with girls. And I turned to bands like my chemical romance, the used, Thursday, Paramore, the song loving touching squeezing my journey, Manson, and anything loud that would make me feel better. MCR and the Used were bands that I became dependant on because their music hit exactly what I felt with my life. I felt like a monster or a freak. Like I did not deserve sunlight. Like I was meant to be alone and damned for what I did. I let the fear of being gay get into my head and I began to call out to the black parade for help. I lost myself in Gerard’s words and Bert McCracken’s screams. From November to about January I was in the darkest part of my life. My drug habit was becoming worse and I lost my friends. I hurt Sydney when I stupidly said I did not believe she was bi; I was hurting Logan for no reason, and I was coming to school fucked out my mind. I began to lose weight and became very weak. I wore makeup and would go overboard with the eyes. I thought I deserved to look as bad on the outside as I did on the inside. At that time I thought I was all alone, but I forgot that I had taylr right there listening to me. He was a great friend to me and I thank him for that. I think taylr actually sought me out, because he knew he could talk to me about relationships. He was called gay for being my friend, but he didn’t care. He saw that I didn’t base my whole life on my sexuality, and he respected me. He knew I was into music a lot, and he pushed me in a direction that would help me out later in life. I started to play the piano because of him, and I learned how to interpret music because of him. He was into the emo stuff and he introduced me to a lot of that music. All time low, etc. the pop punk stuff. He was straight edge then and didn’t like that I did drugs, but he never tried to change me. He just accepted me as I was, and let me be who I wanted to me. We got along so well during my second half of my junior year. I was getting acid from a boy I used to mess with named Michael browning, I knew him from Ronnie back when I was sophomore.

I should go on a little side story about my sexuality, the confusion, the confrontations, the revelations, and the religious disturbance inside of me when I learned what sin was, and the events that led to how I am now, but I will do this some other time. I don’t want to divert from the main story about my music history.

During my time spent with taylr, I met some people who shared my interest in music, clover, and Frankie the girls who dated each other, Alex the girl who dated cory for about a year, Hailey the Asian. Then I met Kaitlyn Becker.

We Are Gonna Friends – The White Stripes

Money for Nothing – Dire Straights

I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For – U2

Love Reign o’er Me – The Who

Peace of Mind – Boston

Foreplay/Longtime – Boston

The Tears of a Clown – Smokey Robinson

Dude Looks Like A Lady – Aerosmith

Sweet Emotion – Aerosmith

Train Kept a Rolling – Aerosmith

American Woman – Lenny Kravitz

Little Black Packback – Stroke 9

Don’t Tell Me – Madonna

American Life – Madonna

Die Another Day – Madonna

Love Profusion – Madonna

It’s My Life – No Doubt

Just a Girl – No Doubt

Bathwater – No Doubt

Sunday Morning – No Doubt

Hey Baby – No Doubt

Trapped in A Box – No Doubt

Spiderwebs – No Doubt

Addicted – Simple Plan

Mr. Brightside – The Killers

Starlight – Muse

Beautiful Soul – Jesse McCartney

I Say Yeah – Dream Street

Bye Bye Bye – N Sync

Pop – N Sync

It’s Gonna Be Me – N Sync

Incomplete – Backstreet Boys

As Long As You Love Me– Backstreet Boys

I Need You Tonight – INXS

Love Is A Stranger – Eurythmics

Serious – Gwen Stephani

Sugar We’re Going Down – Fall Out Boy

Emily – Elton John

Understanding Women – Elton John

Chasing Cars – Snow Patrol

Error: Operator – Taking Back Sunday

Makedamnsure – Taking Back Sunday

Call Me When You’re Sober – Evanescence

Walk Away – Kelly Clarkson

Dirty Little Secret – The All American Rejects

Something to Save – George Michael

Praying For Time – George Michael

Controversy – Prince

Renegade – Styx

They Don’t Care About Us – Michael Jackson

Stranger in Moscow – Michael Jackson

The Way You Make Me Feel – Michael Jackson

Songs that describe me:

Girl You Really Got Me Now – The Kinks

Lola – The Kinks

A Well Respected Man About Town – The Kinks

Light My Fire – The Doors

(What A) Wonderful World – Sam Cooke

Hound Dog – Elvis Presley

Suspicious Minds – Elvis Presley

All Shook Up (30th Anniversary Edition of NBC-TV) – Elvis Presley

Sympathy for The Devil – The Rolling Stones

You Can’t Always Get What You Want – Rolling Stones

Miss You – Rolling Stones

I Can’t Get No Satisfaction - Rolling Stones

Gimmie Shelter – Rolling Stones

Let’s Spend the Night Together – Rolling Stones

Sound of Silence – Simon And Garfunkel

Under My Thumb – Tina Turner

Acid Queen – Tina Turner

Voodoo – Godsmack

The Kids Are Alright – The Offspring

The Missing Frame – AFI

Miss Murder – AFI

Love Like Winter – AFI

Kill Caustic – AFI

Endlessly She Said – AFI

The Leaving Song Pt. 2 – AFI

Bleed Black – AFI

Silver and Cold – AFI

Death of Seasons – AFI

Paper Airplanes – AFI

The Great Disappointment – AFI

But Home Is Nowhere – AFI

Rabbits Are Roadkill – AFI

Fall Children – AFI

The Boy who destroyed the world – afi

Totalimmortal – afi

The art of drowning – Afi

Black Sails – AFI

Shut your mouth – Afi

Fire on high – electric light orchestra

Get Your Gunn, Lunchbox, Antichrist superstar, Mechanical Animals, Holy Wood, The golden age of grotesque - Marilyn Manson

Dark Days – The Used

Mayday Parade

Earth Crisis

Escape the fate

Chiodos

Secondhand Serenade – A twist in my story

The Mars Volta – The widow, illeyna

Against me – new wave

Killing monsters in the rain, black eye – steel train

Books and letters, clouds – The Morning Light

Karate High School – League of Tomorrow

Ten Second Epic – boys will be boys

Chain Me Free, Sick Little Suicide, Salty Eyes, Papercut Skin, Clumsy Heart, Shoot Me in The Smile, Am Tilts, Wake the Sun, To Build a Mountain, Between Halloweens - The Matches

Nine in the Afternoon, Do You Know What I’m Seeing, That Green Gentleman, Pas De Cheval, Mad as Rabbits – Panic at The Disco

Second Hand News, Dreams, Never Going Back Again, I Don’t Wanna Know, Gold Dust Woman – Fleetwood Mac

Jefferson Starship

Jimi Hendrix

Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds, With a little help from my friends, getting better, when I’m sixty four, a day in the life, Across The Universe, Hey Jude, Imagine, I want to hold your hand - The Beatles

Greatest Hits - Paul McCartney

Neutral Milk Hotel – King of Carrot Flowers

Great D.J., That’s Not My Name, Shut Up and Let Me Go - The Ting Tings

Viva La Cobra - Cobra Starship

Underdog Alma Matter - Forever the Sickest Kids

Brokencyde

3oh!3

That’s Classy - Breathe Carolina

Taste, Magnetic Baby, Genius, Time Zones - Semi Precious Weapons

The Pink Spiders

Billy Boy On Poison

Astronaut, Runs in The Family, Have to Drive - Amanda Palmer

The Academy Is – High School Album

Happy happy Joy Joy song

My Sharona – The Number Twelve Looks Like You

Hello Hooray, Sick Things - Alice Cooper

Space Oddity, Cygnet Committee, Wild Eyed Boy From Free Cloud, The Width Of A Circle, All The Madmen, She Shook Me Cold, The Man Who Sold The World, The Superman, Changes, Oh! You Pretty Things, Kooks, Quicksand, Queen Bitch, Moonage Daydream, Starman, Lady Stardust, Star, Ziggy Stardust, Rock n Roll Suicide, John I’m Only Dancing, My Death, Watch That Man, Drive In Saturday, Time, Let’s Spend The Night Together, Sweet Thing/Candidate/Sweet Thing (Reprise), Rebel Rebel, We Are The Dead, Station To Station, Golden Years, Word On A Wing, TVC15, Stay, Wild Is The Wind, Breaking Glass, What in The World, Sound And Vision, Always Crashing in the Same Car, A New Career In a New Town, Heroes, Blackout, V2-Schnider, Fantastic Voyage, Boys Keep Swinging, D.J., Look Back In Anger, It’s No Game Parts 1 and 2, Scary Monsters Super Freaks, Ashes to Ashes, Modern Love, China Girl, Never Let Me Down, I’m Afraid of Americans, 7 Years In Tibet, Hallo Space boy, The Hearts Filthy Lesson, Thursdays Child, Survive, Seven, What’s Really Happening, Cactus, Heathen (The Rays),Never let Me Down, - David Bowie

Fall Out Boy – I don’t care, w.a.m.s.

Hissing Fauna, Are You the Destroyer? Skeletal Lamping – Of Montreal

Lotus Flower/MPLSound – Prince

Family Tradition, Ali For Cody, Chandelier – Sense Fail

Time to Pretend, Weekend Wars, Electric Feel, Kids, Of Moons Birds and Monsters – MGMT

I will possess your heart – death cab for cutie

Big Ten Inch Record, Sweet Emotion, You See Me Crying – Aerosmith

Defeater – Nameless Streets

Baker – Plans

Polar Bear Club – Living Saints

Fun – At Least I am Not as Sad

By Surprise – CB Radio

Therefore I am – I am only an island

A Loss fo words – stamp of approval

Transit- stay home

Lions lions – angles with dirty faces

These green eyes – paramedic

Death before dishonor – our glory days

Snowing – pumpfake

Drug rug – Hannah please

Mark schwaber – to be better

NOFX

A day to remember

All time low

p.o.s.

Jeffree star

hit the lights

aiden

lovehatehero

anti flag

Thursday

Paramour

Madina lake – statistic

There for tomorrow

You me at six

Thursdays Child, Survive, Seven, What’s Really Happening – David Bowie

Propagandhi

The Unthanks – Because he was a bonny lad

The boxer rebellion – the flashing red light means go

We fell to earth – lights out

Santogold – lights out

Edward sharpe and the magnetic zeroes – 40 day dream

Lovers in captivity – ima robot

Jay reatard – wounded

Paul McCartney – tripping the live fantastic

Elton John – Captain fantastic and the brown dirt cowboy

Cute is what we aim for – doctor

The spill canvas – all over you

Every avenue – think of you later

Bayside – you’ve already been

Four year Strong – so hot and sweat it out

Rise against

Foxy shazam – dangerous man

The Smiths – Greatest Hits

Placebo – everything

Chevelle – straight jacket fashion, sleep apnea, Mexican sun, shameful metaphors, letter from a thief, high lands apparition, Roswell’s spell, a new momentum

Jack the Ripper – AFI/Morrissey

Piccadilly Palare, The Last of the Famous International Playboys, Suedehead, Alma Matters, The Boy Racer, Irish Blood English Heart, I Have Forgiven Jesus, This World Is Full Of Crashing Bores, I’m Not Sorry, How Can Anybody Possibly Know How I Feel, I Like You, Dear God Please Help Me, Life Is a Pigsty, On The Streets I Ran, I Just Want To See The Boy Happy, Something Is Squeezing My Skull, Black Cloud, That’s How People Grow Up, I’m Throwing My Arms Around Paris, It’s Not Your Birthday Anymore, Sorry Doesn’t Help Us, I’m Ok By Myself, If You Don’t Like Me Then Don’t Look At Me, Gang lord, Dearest Love, Friday Morning, My Life Is An Endless Succession Of People Saying Goodbye – Morrissey

An unexpected rain, threesome, the universe listened, imagine that, what happens tomorrow, I need to wake up – Melissa Etheredge

Sing the changes – the firemen and Paul McCartney

Thriller (album) – Michael Jackson

No line on the horizon (album) – U2

Tonight (album) – Franz Ferdinand

London calling (album) – the clash

Live from royal albert hall – the killers

From now on we are enemies – fall out boy

The fame monster/the fame (albums) – lady gaga

Dead by sunrise- (out of ashes album)

The used – artwork (album)

The high end of low (album Marilyn Manson)

Crash love (album – afi)

Foo fighters – greatest hits

The get up kids – something to write home about (album)

Iggy and the stooges – raw power (album)

April 26th 2010 - 2020

A good start:

2010- Goldfrapp - Headfirst Nevershoutnever –What is love?

Lou Reed – Berlin: live at St. anns warehouse Rachel Yamagata Mika – The Boy Who Knew Too Much

A work in progress... I have 10 years to cover now.

0 notes

emptyperspectiv · 5 years ago

Text

Playlist of my life explanation (I’m gonna probably blog over this and just bookmark it for the list.)

I did this because I can’t sleep, also thank finding those teen vogue videos of this shit. The list itself is about 50 songs that I can sum up pretty quickly without having a huge long list since I sorted them out more or less as I was making it. So, let’s start!

My song picks:

All The Small Things- blink-182

Initially, I had no idea who blink-182 was until I found this discarded CD one day outside when I was waiting for my bus to come pick me up. I was in middle school and I had this CD player and this was one of the songs on the CD. It was also in the end credits for Charlie’s Angels Full Throttle too.

Cry Baby- Man Overboard

One of the best underrated Pop-Punk bands I ever have listened to. A friend of mine introduced me to their music, this song I found on my own and the lyrics and just the tone of this song made me love it more.

SING- MCR

MCR was introduced to me by a good friend of mine at the end of my 8th-grade year as we got into high school. Sing’s lyrics are something I connected with off the bat when listening to it. I love singing and I find it helpful for when I’m anxious and feel like it’s something everyone should try, even if you’re bad at it.

crushcrushcrush- Paramore

While this wasn’t the first Paramore song I listened to, this is my favorite one to this day. It’s such a good song, and this was also the first album of theirs I bought at Hot Topic when I was younger.

White Noise- PVRIS

Probably the one song I’ll go back to time after time for this band. Lynn has such an amazing voice, the band as a whole is just amazing. All their music and their videos are incredibly unique and paint this very ghost-like image that’s haunting, but also incredibly creative. This song specifically is one I connect with because of the lyrics. Sometimes communication between two people can be difficult, it’s also really hard when you are putting in the effort to talk to someone and they don’t listen. Especially in romantic relationships. Sometimes it’s that lack of communication and affection, as well as day to day life noise that you get drowned out by and the connection gets lost. Eventually, things break off and you feel almost like a ghost shouting into an empty void while the other person moves on. At least that’s how I see the song.

Fight Club- Lights

This is just a fun song. Lights is an incredibly talented artist that I adore to bits. She’s worked so hard on her music and it really has grown over the years. It was a hard choice because all the songs on Skin & Earth are so good, but this just makes me wanna get up and kick ass.

mother tongue- BMTH

After watching the Genious video explaining the lyrics it wasn’t hard for this to grow on me. BMTH has always been a deep favorite of mine, even when they made “heavy” songs. I just love the meaning of this song and it’s something I can relate to.

Out Time to Go- State Champs

The visuals for the video that goes to this is so cool! State Champs is probably in my top favorites when it comes to pop-punk bands that I still listen to religiously. The lyrics are so good, they paint a very beautiful image of being under a dark starry sky. Aside from all the pretty visuals the lyrics paint, I think the lyrics connect with me about moving forward in life and not letting things in life hold you back from doing what you want to do in your life. It’s a very empowering message.

Piece Of Your Heart- Mayday Parade

There isn’t a single Mayday Parade song that makes me feel emotional. They’re such a great band! I got to see them at Warped back in 2012 and took this really cool photo on my super shitty smartphone while I was up against the barrier hanging out with this group of girls who I eventually lost. This specific song makes me think about all my friends in a way, especially the starting lyrics of “Give me your misery, all of it give it to me I can hold on it for you it’s not a problem.” I know this song can be interpreted in so many different ways and the main message the band was trying to send as well. For me, this song is really about wanting to take on someone’s problems that you love because you love them so much that you want them to be happy. I think my favorite lyric would have to be “ You are the fire in my sleep, you are the reason I dream And just for when we’re apart I’ve got a piece of your heart.”

Strangers Again- Against The Current

This song really got to me after a while, the video for this is really good too. The message in the song itself is another one I connect with as well with things in my life that I’ve gone through where I’ve lost good friendships with people, as well as losing touch with friends and now when we talk sometimes they feel like complete strangers from when I knew them.

From The Outside- Real Friends

Real Friends are amazing too, again another personal favorite pop-punk band. This song’s message I think can relate a lot to the stigma of faking being fine when in reality we’re all dealing with our own internal battles, which they address in their lyrics.

Help Us To Love- Tori Kelly

This song I feel relates a lot to how people treat each other today. We’re all full of this anger, we’re upset and frustrated and sometimes we tend to take it out on each other online with our words and other settings. This song tells us that we should try to be more accepting of those around us instead of being full of those negative emotions. Vocally, this song is so beautiful and sad at the same time and I just really love the way the song sounds.

8- Billie Elish

This has to be one of my favorite songs by her, which is strange. I get it, but I love the lyrics so much because again it’s something I can relate to with how I am as a person. I tend to wear my heart out on my sleeve openly and try to be accepting of everyone, which leads to me getting hurt because I never really know what someone’s true intentions are.

MOOO!- Doja Cat

This is just a fun song that I really love. Doja Cat puts the fun, sexy, and badass attitude in her music and I absolutely love it. Music doesn't have to be serious all the time and that’s why I love this song.

S.L.U.T.- Bea Miller

Bea Miller is such a talented bean. I adore her music and her as a whole. This song when it came out just screamed at me to love myself and to just have fun. I remember first hearing it and just dancing to it and just feelin the vibes and myself.

X-Phenomenon- Monsta X

Another good feel-good dance song. These boys really do know how to make some good ass songs that make you wanna just dance and not care. I also really love the switch up in the song too, it’s different and I love it!

Orange Juice- Melanie Martinez

I cried after seeing K-12 and the story that went along to this. I struggle so much to love myself, I have for years. The song itself talks a lot about an eating disorder, which is something a lot of people shy away from. I think what really did it for me was hearing the message at the end of the song in the movie. Crybaby, the character Melanie based this around, tells her new friend that she made that our bodies are just temporary and don’t define who we are. She goes on to explain that there’s more to us than just the surface beauty that our bodies have and that we should be more accepting and kinder to ourselves without having to hold our own image up to unrealistic standards. The best message she gives at the end is that “We all have to learn how to love ourselves without the approval of others.” This is followed by the friend saying that it’s hard to love yourself when people make you feel so shitty about who you are that you believe it yourself.

Highlights from Kiki’s Delivery Service- Joe Hisaishi

I just love the music for this movie, it’s very relaxing to listen to.

Since U Been Gone- Kelly Clarkson

This was the first song that I ever publically sang in middle school. We had a karaoke day in my music class and I got up to sing this in front of everyone who was there and after that, I never sang in front of anyone for years.

Come Away With Me- Norah Jones

It’s just a beautiful song that helps me relax and unwind.

(Sittin’ on) The Dock of the Bay- Sarah Bareilles

I really recommend the one from the live performance because it sounds so much better. I love how she sings this song and I love how it painted this really beautiful landscape image of sitting down near an ocean or a lake and just watching the water. It’s another song that really helps me relax.

Sugar, We’re Goin Down- FOB

I remember first hearing this song when I was about 6 or7 in the car with my Mom on the radio in our silver little Ford car. I was living in Germany at the time and this was also my first time listening to something that was considered “rock” or “alternative.” Years later I remembered hearing it somewhere and finding out who sang it and listened to FOB’s other songs and quickly fell in love with them. They hold a very dear and special place in my heart and always will.

Picks For my Parents:

La Isla Bonita- Madonna

My Mom loved listening to Madonna with me as a kid, it was almost all she would play. I’m sure she owned almost all her CDs, and it was also music I grew up with thanks to her. I picked this one because I love how it sounds and every time it comes on I’m reminded of those days when I was little and would listen to this with her.

Underneath It All- No Doubt

Another song that I was introduced to by my Mom. She owns the CD that this song is on, I also have it downloaded on an old iPod touch because I love that album so much. No Doubt was another one of the alternative bands I was introduced to as a kid because of her. This song was also used in 50 First Dates, which is my favorite movie with Drew Barrymore and it’s my favorite Rom-Com.

Wide Open Spaces- Dixie Chicks

My Mom and I both listened to them when I was younger in the car as well. She would play their music in the house sometimes and sing along to it and so would I. I’m not sure what happened to the CDs we had for them but I think at one point she owned the CD this song was on. the other reason this one still sticks with me is that when I hear this song, all I can think about is just being out taking pictures in the wide-open spaces where I’m free to just make mistakes and be my most authentic self.

A Girl Like You- Edwyn Collins

A song I heard through the Charlie’s Angel movie that I watched with my Mom growing up. It’s also a song that my Dad really loves,. It just makes me smile when I hear it because it’s a good song, but also it reminds me a lot of my parents.

Lucky- Britney Spears

Both my Mom and I are Britney fans. Her first official album with Hit Me Baby One More Time was the first album my Mom every bought me when I was younger and we lived in San Antonio. I remember that Britney was the reason I wanted to get my belly button pierced, I never could shut up about it even as a teenager. Specifically, this is a song my Mom loves by her that she always puts on when we’re out so it makes me really happy to hear this song and reminds me how lucky I really am to share stuff like this with her.

One, Two Step- Ciara, Missy Elliot

Growing up my brother would play a lot fo rap, hip-hop, and other stuff that my Mom and I grew to like and this was one of them. Mostly it was because of a family dog that we had a long time ago that loved my brother's music.

Party in the U.S.A- Miley Cyrus

Almost everyone in my family loves this song. My brother was the more shocking one to hear it from. One day it came on and he told my Mom that it was his favorite song and we would always play it for him. Mind you, he’s about 3 years older than me, so you can imagine how surprised I was.

Some Hearts- Carrie Underwood

I think I talked about this before, but Carrie Underwood was another artist I grew up listening to that my Mom loved a lot. I think Carnival Ride was either the 2nd or 3rd album my Mom bought me. The song this album is from really was amazing. The lyrics are just wholesome and it’s just a good country song. My Mom really loved this song and one of the more popular ones from the album.

Hollaback Girl- Gwen Stephani

This song taught me how to spell bananas and I don’t think that will ever leave me. I have to sing it too in order to remember the spelling too. It’s my Mom’s favorite song by Gwen Stephani, and she owns the CD for this too and I also have it on my little old iPod touch. I still go back and listen to this to hype myself up sometimes.

Never Gonna Give You Up- Rick Astley

This is gonna sound completely stupid why I picked this. My Dad, when he was younger and had hair, would get mistaken for this guy all the fucking time. He also loves the song too and while I’d love to tell all the amazing stories he’s told me about that I think I wanna just keep it to that. Get Rick Rolled.

Living Dead Girl- Rob Zombie

Another artist my parents loved listening to, mostly my Mom, was Rob Zombie. As I got older I looked more into his work and watched a lot of his films. They’re really good too. This song specifically stuck out because I remember my parents listening to it all the time in the car with me. I don’t think I should have been listening to this as a kid but it was good music.

Don’t Tread On Me- Metallica

The stories I could tell you that my Mom has told me about when she was younger. My Mom was really cool when she was younger, let’s put it that way. Metallica has been a band that she holds close to her because their music is so good and it’s also a song I grew up listening to in the car.

You Give Love A Bad Name- Bon Jovi

My Dad has some really good taste in music, well both my parents do. This song is another one they both love and it just makes me really happy when I hear it.

Love Shack- B52′s

I remember hearing this in a Joe’s Crabshack growing up and my Dad singing it. It was totally embarrassing for me, but now I just join him in doing it now because it’s more fun. This has to be his favorite song of all time and it’s just a really good dance song to just goof off too.

Learnin’ the Blues- Frank Sinatra

My Dad loves Sinatra’s music. Every time I put on something by him he always sings along to it and it just gives me a warm fuzzy feeling.

Fly Me To The Moon (In Other Words)- Frank Sinatra, Count Basie

It’s the same as the one before this. Actually, to add on to this, when he heard me put on some of Sinatra’s music my Dad was shocked and asked me why I was listening to it and was even more surprised when I told him I just liked it and wanted something different to listen to and I found it through a Fallout game Radio station that someone made on Spotify.

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