#she helped me to understand that my crush was unhealthy and an obsession

[fandomvoiager]

I have a problem, I can't get the difference between a strong friendship and a romantic relationship with boys.

I'm Ace, and I had a couple of crush for some guys and broke a precious friendship bc I confused my feelings.

I'm also a very touchy person and if I need a hug or something I will ask with no problem, even if I usually ask girls bc I get embarrassed and I'm a hopeless romantic, so if a male is nice enough to me I start to fangirl. With girls I don't have problems.

So I went to my scolastic psychologist and asked for help. The problem is that she had already known me through a school project and she had got an option about me. I explained her my trouble and said: "well, the first thing is the fiscal attraction" and I was like:

... Bitch what the fuck are you talking about

Because I know that when I'm infatuated I seek fiscal contact but not in a sexual way more like with friends but weird, but I also know that I can fake that shit and i can think that I feel something for you and start to feel like it but I actually don't and I just love you in a platonic way *pause to breath*

But since I was confused in that moment I just said: "Well there is a problem, I'm Asexual"

And she went: "maybe you didn't meet the right person yet"

And I understood that that school payed people to say shit to their students.

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Imagine being Ruggie sister who somehow got in to night raven as a student and everything progress on and them as a Ramshackle perfect due to them being a kind person like Tanjiro and strong yet but of a nerd liked Deku with a unique magic of growing plants

What's more she a home maker due to them living in the slums ( like meding clothes, cooking, fixing things as she can, using home remedies when sick and help their bother with the kids at home ) with Ruggie and too working hard to get out of there as they wanted to be a doctor

Let's say due to their genuine kindness Leona, Malleus, Idia, Jamal, Carter and Riddle have a unhealthy obsession crush with Ruggie sister who doesn't share the same romantic feeling and only sees them as a friend

Ruggie's Little Sister Reader | Yandere Twisted Wonderland

Perfectly built for Ramshackle, you happily take to it despite your brother’s insistence you stay next to him in Savvannaclaw. But you’ve never been one to listen to your big brother and you can definitely handle it. You probably fare better than the original in terms of dealing with Night Raven. Because you know how to sweet up boys with mean attitudes, maybe a little too well:

Leona Kingscholar

“Look herbivore, don’t try to boss me-”

“Who’re you calling herbivore!? I’m talking to you, about this lazy cat behavior!”

“Lazy cat-”

“(Y/n) please–”

“No Ruggie, you baby him far too much! I’m stepping in!”

He at first really hates you

Like really 

You do all the things Ruggie does just not for him

In fact you make him do things that make him tired

It’s a pain 

But for whatever reason he’s getting especially happy when you praise him

Only for you 

He’s violent with anyone who comments on the work you have him doing

Its the only reason he keeps in your good graces and thats enough for him

“I’m proud of you, Leona! Now come I’ve cooked up some fillet mignon and it has your name on it!”

“It better. I’m never doing my own laundry again.”

“Hahaha yes you will.”

Ruggie is nervous about this but appreciates you picking up the slack

It sometimes bothers him how much time his employer starts spending with you

But he’s not too worried Leona understands his desire to protect you

“Huh?! You got him to do that?! What should I expect, you are my little sister.”

“Don’t act like I’m not the cooler one of us two.”

Malleus Draconia 

“Ah horn-dude, I was just looking for you.”

“Horn-dude? And you were looking for me?”

“Yeah I was thinking of adding some gardenias, and maybe some vines for decoration. I wanted your opinion since you like coming by here so often.”

“The vines would pertain to a more beautifully abandoned image…but that might just be my preference.”

“Oh thanks so much, Horns!”

His crush is so obvious 

Talking about you often to his guards and mentor

And whenever anyone goes to talk to him he finds some odd way to incorporate you into the conversation 

Trust me its weird for everyone when he starts talking about you during potions when their dissecting magical creatures

he can’t stop trying to talk to you

But he usually ends up just staring at you from the distance

Waiting until your instincts pick up on his presence

And your forced to invite him to join whatever your doing

“Ah! Horns didn’t see you over there! Do you want in? We’re making paper flowers for the festival want to join?”

“I would love to!” 

“What?! Horns?! (Y/n) why are you lettinghimjoin giving him more paper!? I know what I’m doing!” 

“Sure you do.”

Ruggie’s scared out of his mind 

How did you get mixed up with this overpowered monster

He can’t do too much now without knowing he’s going to die

But if it means saving you from certain doom aka Malleus Draconia it might be worth it

Idia Shroud

“Alright that’s enough!”

“W-what?!”  

“No more games before you finish cleaning your room! Ortho and I can help but–”

“Actually (Y/n)-san, I recently pulled up a study that states letting children clean their own rules helps instill better habits when their adults!”

“Ortho!?”

“Oh great idea! Well we’ll be just outside! Come on Ortho let’s plan out our cosplay!”

“Yes!”

“G-guys?!”

He hates that you mother him

But he absolutely loves it when you mother him

He cries about being in the dreaded friendzone kidzone

But boy does he love the way you pat his head or let him cuddle into your chest

He loves the food you make during marathons

Or how you’ll let yourself be distracted by the games you really like

He gets drastic if you spend too long out of his reach

So he sets up cameras+ 

So he takes any opportunity to speak with you

So he puts others in horrifying accidents

“Heeheh by the time I’m done you’ll be the best girl-gamer in the space. And then it’ll be a given for you to never leave the ultimate guy-gamer!” 

“Ewww keep my sister out of your nerd schemes!” 

“Eeep! An enemy has appeared!”

Ruggie thinks he’s a nerd with no game

But nonetheless he knows Idia’s smart but not street smart

“Hishishsishi can’t set the trap if you don’t have the button! Hardly even noticed me swiping his gadget.” 

Jamil Viper 

“I appreciate the help, (Y/n).”

“Of course, you’re always running yourself ragged…I wanted to do something for you.”

“...I really appreciate the lunches you’ve made for me…it’s been a while since I’ve eaten a meal by someone else.” “Well just give me a call I don’t mind cooking for you or lending a hand.”

He’s smitten nbyond comprehension

Now going out of his way to hypnotize anyone else into a corner when it comes to talking to you

Its the least he does out of retaliation

He knows all his flirting and hints go right over your head

But your still cute 

Until you do get it he’s pulling the rug out from any and all competitors

“Hey (Y/n), why don’t you join me in the kitchen? Maybe, show me how you made those potato crisps?”

“Sure, Jamil I’d love to!”

“Ah ah! Not without me you’re not!”

Ruggie knows Jamil’s like him but smarter

Sly and sneaky

Powers aside Ruggie’s sure Jamil’s problematic for your safety

“Don’t think for a second, I’ll let you have them! I'm not that fond of snakes!”

Carter Diamond 

“Wah~(Y/n) you’re so photogenic! Will you pose for me one more time?”

“Well alright. If it’ll make you happy.”

“It’ll make me more than happy!” He loves how oblivious you are 

He absolutely hates it+

But your just so cute 

He guesses he can forgive it 

And hey while your learning the ropes he’s more than happy to keep you close

“Hey hey don’t forget to keep up our streak!”

“Streak?”

“Yeah we’ve been sharing our photos throughout the day of what we’re doing.”

“Yup! It’s a great way to keep track of her!”

“Ick-!”

Ruggie knows he’s slippery

When it comes to tailing him Cater’s good at giving the slip

“Not on my watch. I’m not giving you the chance, to trick my baby sister.”

Riddle Rosehearts

“That’s entirely unreasonable, I’m not doing that!”

“Grrr (Y/n) these are the rules I thought you would respect that.”

“And I thought you would know to relax!”

He thinks your sweet but totally unreasonable

So he guesses you both have something to learn from each other

You more than him obviously

While he doesn’t think highly of your brother he knows your different

And you belong to him

He’s not going to take ‘no’ for an answer

If this is a battle of wills he’d win it

Even if that means subjecting your bad influences to being beheaded

“Riddle! You can't just put that collar on my brother like that!”

“Yeah I’m not even apart of your dorm!”

“Don’t be mad at me for enforcing rules. I know you know the very least of the rules. It shouldn’t be that much of a surprise that your brother just doesn’t measure up. Which means you should leave him before he drags you down.”

Ruggie is peeved that such a prick is after his sister

But he’s not worried 

He’s definitely not cool enough to keep your attention

Not to mention he’s so easy to anger 

It’ll be fun to rile him up

“Hishishishi so mad oh so fast! You’ll barely survive dating them if your this easy.”

[windcarvedlyre]

I'm gonna turn that meme around on you: Venti and Jean? :>

(ask meme)

Ty :D

Honestly my answers will sort of be an inversion of yours: Jean as someone I really appreciate but I'm not actively into and Venti as unhealthy obsession and fandom bicycle. (Thanks for introducing me to that term, lol.)

Jean

How I feel about her: I don't brainrot over her for her own sake, but as my de facto main in co-op, the permanent healer in my overworld team, and one of Mondstadt's most important characters I'm very fond of her. She deserves more breaks. So so much.

Her design fascinates me too; if you use the alt version of her default outfit it looks very modest and like everything's covered when she's standing still, only for more skin to be exposed on her upper torso when you run or otherwise move around. It feels like a visual reflection of how she hides/suppresses the more human, emotional parts of herself to perform her role.

Romantic ships: I'm not actively into any but Jean/Lisa just makes sense to me. Lisa is such a fun character to bounce off her. You've got me intrigued about Jean/Eula and Jean/Kaeya as well, and I should look into Jean/Diluc too.

I s2g her voice lines make her sound like she's starting to have a crush on Traveller too. That could be really wholesome; they could periodically show up in Mond, speedrun solving a ton of citizens' problems, and whisk her off to beautiful corners of Teyvat she'd never dream of having time to visit otherwise. And they both have sibling issues... I'm selling myself on this as I type it, dear lord.

Platonic OTPs: All of the above are also wonderful platonically. Also Jean and Venti!! God!!! I neeeed more interactions between them; it's a massive shame the game never showed us Jean or Diluc processing the Venti-Barbatos reveal and the religious crisis that would definitely cause. Especially for Jean! I wish this oneshot was a longer multichapter so badly.

I'm fascinated by the idea of them having a lot in common under the surface, especially if we compare Jean to how Venti may have been in Mond's cultivation period. Even their outfits have a lot of design elements in common!

Additionally, considering her parallels with/idolisation of Vennessa, I love the idea of Venti having unresolved guilt/unprocessed trauma about whatever happened to Vennessa in the end + maybe her overworking herself for Mondstadt until her death, and him screaming internally watching Jean go down the same path. I can't get enough of fics where he helps her relax for once. The two of them should go on some long field trip where they coax each other into acknowledging they're people that feel things.

Unpopular opinion: Not sure I have any! I'm not familiar with general fandom opinions about her but I'd be surprised if I saw someone severely mischaracterising her, tbh. She doesn't feel like a difficult character to grasp. Maybe my perception's skewed since I tend to obsess over human dumpster fires, though.

Something I wish would happen: mainly (gestures at the platonic section), but seconding you that we need her to make progress with Barbara too. I'd love to see her be dragged into more shenanigans with Diluc as well, though I'm biased as a combined-Diluc-and-Jean main.

Venti

How I feel about him: I probably need help with the amount I think about this goddamn character. I didn't truly understand the term 'comfort character' until I started obsessing over him. I project onto him a bit too much and I want to emotionally smash him to bits and scrape him together again.

Even without the brainrot, he's just fascinating; he's clearly a significant character that will almost certainly be tied to massive lore drops later on, and the vague hints about him having time powers mean that even the way he fundamentally experiences reality can be theorised about with wildly different ideas being equally valid.

He has me freezing up at every damn mention of wind and/or time and/or music in this god-forsaken game. And there are a lot of them.

Romantic ships: as I said, he's the fandom bicycle for me. Everyone gets a ride. I especially love zhongven in multiple permutations, and their longevity means fanworks for other Venti ships can easily slot in past zhongven as well. Otherwise I really like kaeven, I used to be more into diluven but kaeven has completely eclipsed it for me, and I'm really intrigued about the potential of furiven as well (though I usually approach that platonically).

Non-romantic OTPs: any of the above if not being done romantically, plus Venti+Jean and Venti+Vennessa (see Jean's section lmao) and Venti+everyone in old mond- especially NB and RHW. And I really really want to see him interact with Furina. There are so many people he either has a fascinating relationship with already or has potential to.

While it's not a ship, I find the idea that he's slept with the Tsaritsa at least once pre-fallout very funny.

Edit: Venti having a non-reciprocated crush on Vennessa is interesting as well.

Unpopular opinions: I'm not sure I have any in a tumblr fandom context? Maybe that any ships between him and a mortal who's grown up worshipping him (like diluc/venti, jean/venti, etc) would be a lot more of an emotional minefield for both parties than people tend to explore, with the mortal having to go through a religious crisis while Venti clearly just wants to be treated like a person + could be paranoid as hell about whether their consent to anything is genuine.

That's not a criticism of those ships, though! The opposite, actually. I'd love to see a long fic that really digs into that.

Something I wish would happen: ...there are so many things I could put here. The main ones are a) a Venti-is-Barbatos reveal (and maybe a reveal of his darker secrets, like any abyss ties) to all of Mondstadt, forcing him to stop avoiding his problems for once, and b) for Venti to be pushed into a corner and/or go apeshit and reveal just how much he was lying about his power level.

I need a Vennessa-Venti reunion as well. Please please please.

[animation-is-my-jam]

Least favorite Tobecky headcanon? or what some people like in popular tobecky ideas but youd don't?

(Oof, I missed this one a week ago, sorry!!)

But to your question, hmm... that's a bit tough since headcanon and ideas involving tobecky within the Fandom change over time. It's very noticeable from the time before the show got canned to the Twitter resurgence a few years ago. And what is my least favorite or what I don't like... then yeah, I could say, since apparently I'm the hot take Wordgirl blog/lhj

I'm mostly gonna be talking about ones from the old fandom/things I notice that I don't personally jell with anymore, so take that as you will. Remember, these are my opinions, and they don't define how a person should feel if they like these headcanons/tropes themselves. I'm just a genderfluid cartoon bee person on the internet.

One tobecky trope/headcanon that I *could* like but I don't particularly think is used well enough is when they want to make it a love triangle. Either with Scoops, Victoria, or if you're brave, Violet. I dabble in jealousy within tobecky since it's fun. However, early fandom was kind of obsessed with making either of these characters absolutely fladerized in their worst traits so Tobey/Becky could be seen as the better option. Like Victoria being more nasty and cruel to Becky for no reason other than Tobey is the one she's after. Which I gotta roll my eyes at two interesting female characters just fighting over a boy. And in turn, the villiazation some people made Scoops out in early fandom like jeez you would think he was a real jerk in the show if you only consumed early fandom art and fics. Yes, both Victoria and Scoops have their flaws, but they wouldn't be interesting characters without them and it's a shame for either of them to be portrayed as just meanies so Becky could lean more into Tobey (a little tangent here, this also is talking about how making all other characters in Becky's personal life incompetent too, ie Violet and the Botsfords so the only one she should turn to is Tobey. Yes, there are things Tobey could understand and connect with her that her family can't, but making her friends and family heartlessly naive to her plights is dumb. Or making it that they don't trust or love her anymore after an event. Wildly out of character and not in a good way).

And I don't even hate this idea or concept as much. We'll get to the ones I do, but this is the first one that I think could have potentially if done right. Kids have crushes, and they can be resentful to others close to the person they like. It's natural. But mostly, the problem does lie with character assassination. This is one could be fun (and I've seen recent good examples), but it comes down to the interpretation.

....

Another is Becky, basically being Tobey's therapist while also being his girlfriend. I think I've talked about before on my distaste for the (Becky has to fix Tobey) trope since it's the most obvious f/m enemies to lovers trope that I dread because the female character is just used as the ultimate emotional stability for a male character who has to earn his own sense of self (if the male character is the one who was antagonist, which is like 89 percent of them). Becky, to me, doesn't have anything under control herself. Yes, it might seem like it, but have you seen this girl? Lol. So her being Tobey's number one coddler is just not in character...at least for me. Especially if it's the show accurate ages of them or heck as teens. So Tobey being in a relationship with Becky, that's just her being his therapist or her needing to instill lessons like she's his teacher. Idk that's a highly unhealthy dynamic to me, folks. Not to mention how some could write Becky as controlling or manipulative to Tobey's unstable mental health.

And there's the reverse. Some might scream at me. 'What about Tobey being the one to emotionally help Becky? Isn't that also problematic?' Well...not exactly and I can explain why! Not only is it not a common trope, nor does it have origins in a very dubious romance trope that can be misogynistic. But knowing how popular the ideas of Becky being stressed or emotionally shutting off by handling everything herself (since we can infer in the show), then it wouldn't be a too farfetched idea of her needing that bit of help or reminder from a friend or foe. And I say 'a bit' because the reverse trope doesn't have Tobey downright baby Becky or become a therapist in what she does, nor be her only emotional dependency. And yeah, the idea of Tobey being more emotionally stable than Becky is unbelievable, but again, usually when I see this trope, Tobey isn't perfect himself, and he's also a bit messed up. I don't know if I'm explaining it right, but to peeps who read a lot of the modern fanfictions, you know what I mean.

I think the good mixture of both of these is them obviously being good for each other in an equal manner.

...

My final one is the one where Tobey basically gets rewarded for being pushy/crossing boundaries. "Oh, he had to blackmail her or threaten to destroy something so she could fess up her TRUE emotions." Or "he had to socially engineer his way to reveal her identity so she could like him" (this one is a trope that's done right when tobey literally gets hit with the big consequences as he should, we all know this, because it's half of the reveal plot lines in tobecky content) but for some reason a very few treat this as a necessary thing for him to do despite how very obviously bad it is. Becky should slap him if he does that and if thinks he's in the right.

...

And yeah, that's the ones I could think of. Again, like I said, this is my opinion!! If you like using these tropes, power to you, it's not my thing--and I have my problems with them. Again, I think there is potential for some of them to be done correctly or at least with a twist that can be interesting. I like my fair share of messy tobecky, I'm a messy bee. And this ship is interesting in many ways. But there's probably a reason why some have their issues.

Thank you anon for the ask!

[baenyth]

My Takes on the Miraculous MC Ships because Why Not

More specifically the big ones. Not stuff like Marirose or Marikim.

Adrienette/The Love Square as a whole: I've already done a post on each facet of the Love Square but I'm adding on this: I think no matter which way you slice it, Adrienette is a doomed relationship and the best case scenario is for them to break up asap. They're made for eachother in that if they get married the it will unleash the Chaos Heart and consequently create the Void to end all realities.

Alyanette: Had an incredible amount of potential back in season 1! Based on Dark Cupid I'm pretty sure Alya was crushing on Marinette, and I could see it working out. The two match eachother's freaks. Alya is literally the Lois Lane to Marinette's Superman, and it could be great.

Adrino: For whatever reason I can't see it. I can see both Adrien and Nino dating men, but I guess my brain's hooked on the two being just friends.

Ninette: I can see this, however. I'm not sure if Marinette and Nino being childhood friends is something the fandom made up or canon but I can see it and adore it. I love a good childhood friend romance.

Chlodrien: Chloe's a lesbian dating Sabrina, even if she doesn't know it yet.

Chloenette: Honestly I wouldn't be surprised if Chloe's targeting of Marinette was a crush she has yet to compartmentalize. I doubt it would happen, though.

Liladrien: Nah, Adrien's been through enough.

Lilanette: This seems completely impossible, but I have a specific idea for it that's super-toxic yuri. Lila somehow manages to succeed in isolating Marinette from her friends, and then shifts gears to fuck with Marinette's psyche by intentionally getting exposed and "bonding" with Marinette, isolating her from her classmates even more. I feel like this will inevitably end in Marinette dying, though.

Lukanette: Oh baby we've reached the romantic rivals! Two of my favorite characters. They're so cool! But yeah. Lukanette. Marinette hooks up with someone she isn't obsessed with to a stalkerish degree. He'd act as a grounding anchor to her, too. Marinette could be anxiety spiraling and Luka would just play a few chords to set her back in the real world. He's dreamy, he's kindhearted, he's understanding, he's patient, he plays guitar, he dances, he has a sense of humor, he's got daddy issues, you get Juleka as a sister-in-law, what's not to love? That he ain't in a perfume ad? That he didn't hand you an umbrella when it was raining? Marinette fumbled the perfect boy. What the fuck.

Adrigami: Kagami, my beloved. Adrigami too, my beloved. I'm not at Tomoe levels of hyping up this ship, but it's still great. The difference between Kagami and Marinette, Lila, and Chloe is that Kagami loves Adrien for who he is. She doesn't love Adrien as a popular model or status symbol, but as a human being. The "get to know Adrien" scene in the breakup episode was evidence of it. Yes, she was a little forceful but I don't think Adrien Agreste or Chat Noir are who Adrien really is. If Adrien figured out who he truly is, he'd trans her gender. And Kagami would be there for her. She's bi, she's happy to see the true Adrien, it would be yuri. Now if Adrien could just realize Kagami's has all the girlbossing skills of Ladybug but actually loves him, grumblegrumble.

Zoenette: Unfortunately doesn't have much going for me. I think the issue is that I still don't feel like I know Zoe like I know the other characters. It always feels like not even she knows her identity. I know she likes acting and hid her personality from others, but that's about it. Maybe it would be like Marinette helping Zoe figure out her identity but Marinette already has enough on her plate.

Felinette: I can't see this either aside from an alternate timeline where Felix gets the black cat instead of Adrien. And even then it would be unhealthy as hell based on what we've seen of Felix. The Donatello Versus of Miraculous.

Lukadrien: Oh baby we are so fucking back Ahem. Out of all the big MC ships, Lukadrien's definitely my favorite. I used to be a staunch supporter of Lukanette and Adrigami primarily, but the more I thought about it, the more I gravitated towards the gay variants. It came to me when I was analyzing Luka's character and adding depth where it might not be there and I ended up coming to the conclusion that Luka and Adrien have a lot in common to bond over. They're both kindhearted, but also depressed at least partly from their deadbeat dad. With the two of them dating, they both get the companionship they desperately need. Plus Adrien can be part of Kitty Section as he should! And there's parallels to Julerose, the best ship in Miraculous! Not to mention when Adrien comes out as trans Luka will definitely be there for her! Luka uses any pronouns. When you have the psychic ability to hear people's inner songs, gender doesn't matter much. This too, is yuri.

Marigami: The counterpart to Lukadrien, and I'll admit I didn't see it at first. I know Kagami and Marinette have feelings for eachother, even if Mari doesn't realize it, but what makes it so peak, Bethany? It dawned on me eventually that Marigami is like Alyanette but I like it even more. Kagami matches Marinette's freak, as well as an anchor for Marinette's anxiety, plus I feel Kagami would push Marinette to be better than Alya does. I love Alya but she can be an enabler for Marinette's bad actions at points.

Lukadrienette: We've reached the polycules, ladies, gentlemen, and the Third Party. And it's amazing. Who knew all you had to do to get me into canon Adrienette is throw someone else in there? Luka anchor's Marinette's anxiety and cools her before she can do anything reckless, as well as being there for Adrien, and he gets two people that love him in return! My only concern is what happens to Kagami? Who will she find love with?

Adrigaminette: The foil to Adrigaminette. All three of them are in love with eachother (well, if Adrien discovers Marinette is Ladybug or we're in the reversal or something.) Kagami and Adrien gain companionship while Marinette gets someone to anchor and better her. Although like with Lukadrienette, I have to wonder what Luka's doing. I came to the conclusion that he's severely depressed, does he have someone of his own? Or at least a good friend group?

Lukadrigaminette: And finally, the big one. All four of them are here. It's got the benefits of Lukadrienette and Adrigaminette together. Plus, even if Luka or Kagami alone can't prevent Adrien and Marinette from getting toxic and causing the apocalypse, maybe they can do it together! It's my favorite out of all these ships! The only issue I have is that I can't really see the Lukagami portion working out, but who knows? Maybe they can charm eachother as well.

[yanderes-galore]

How about a request of a concept of Romantic Yandere Twilight Sparkle who discovers pony reader is a secret genius and has a massive secret labatory.

Sure, I can try!

Yandere! Twilight Sparkle with Genius! Darling

Short Concept

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Possessive/Jealous feelings, Delusional behavior, Forced relationship and unhealthy mental state, Open ended.

Twilight herself has always been one for studying.

She loves and finds value in knowledge.

Before she made friends she was so fixated on just studying.

While she focuses more on studying friendship now she still likes to look into other topics.

Twilight met you upon hearing about how respected you are.

You are a respected genius that many talk about.

If somepony needs a question answered you're most likely there to help.

You study a wide range of topics.

You're skilled in math, dabble in astrology, conduct chemistry, and if you're a unicorn you practice magic too.

You aren't like a famous inventor or anything, you're more like somepony known by a handful of ponies who came for your help.

What's the most interesting to Twilight?

You live on the outskirts of Ponyville.

How come she hasn't met you sooner?

Supposedly you were reclusive and liked your studies more than ponies.

Just like old Twilight.

Twilight wants to visit you as the Princess of Friendship out of curiosity.

She comes alone, as you are more of a recluse, to a spot you frequent according to gossip.

Once she sees you she can barely contain her excitement.

You are a pony around her age and a coat is draped over you while you read a book.

Twilight actually feels a bit nervous when she steps in front of you to catch your eye.

When you look up from your book Twilight can see surprise on your face.

"The Princess of Friendship...? Wow... did you need something from me?"

Your giddy smile makes Twilight pause for a moment, her face heating due to embarrassment.

"Oh! Well... I heard you were a genius according to the ponies around Ponyville. I used to be obsessed with studying when I was still a filly. I was just hoping to talk to... such a genius...!"

Twilight sits in front of you and tries to ignore the nervous feeling deep in her stomach.

She can't help but smile when your eyes twinkle, shutting your book and clapping your hooves together.

"A talk with the princess herself? I'd love to! Now... what did you have in mind?"

You two never stopped meeting up to chat after that.

When Twilight wasn't occupied with a friendship problem she slipped away to meet you.

She knows nothing of the laboratory until you mention it to her on a visit.

Once she sees the lab that doubles as your home... Twilight's eyes never stop glittering.

Books line a wall while chemistry equipment sit idly on a counter.

That telescope you have is huge!

You give the princess a smile, gesturing her in.

"Welcome to my humble abode... isn't much but it's where I do most of my thinking."

Twilight would bond well with a darling who's a genius.

Even as a princess she wants to learn more and more.

She doesn't mind playing student with you while you chat.

Twilight is happy to be friends with you.

You remind her of herself and for that she feels she understands you.

Her crush slowly creeps into her mind the more you two interact.

The best part about you being reclusive is she doesn't have to worry about being jealous all too much.

She feels your meetings with each other are unique and special.

No pony else to her knowledge is close to you like she is.

Every book she reads with you, every experiment she conducts with you... to her it's your own special way to bond with one another.

You're both smart which is both a blessing... and an issue.

You're clever so manipulation without the use of magic will be challenging for Twilight.

You see Twilight as a friend and can pick up on her increasingly toxic behavior.

Your intellect is an advantage to you as you'll know when something is wrong with Twilight.

Which may help you in the future.

Once you see Twilight's jealousy, clinginess, or even manipulative behavior you're going to know what to do.

It's either you try to keep her in a healthy state of mind... or you run.

You can try locking the doors to your lab or talking her out of her behavior...

However it seems once Twilight develops this obsessive crush of hers it'll be hard to change her mind.

She likes that she can share this special connection with someone other than her friends.

She loves her friends...

Yet you're so much better.

You and her are so similar!

There's no pony who could be her special partner other than you!

So won't you please open the lab door for her after you so rudely locked it?

[theconcealedweapon]

A lot of people say this, but many of them are not the type of people who it's safe to open up to.

What a lot of people don't realize is that suicide is not a light switch. It's often caused by pain that seems survivable at first but over time slowly gets more intense or slowly gets less hopeful for the pain to end. At what point during that timeline is someone considered suicidal? At what point should they open up about it? What happens if they open up too early and it ends up being a false alarm and they worry people for nothing, get accused of exaggerating, or get involuntarily committed to a hospital?

Also, many suicidal people could easily save themselves if they understood exactly why they were suicidal, which means that helping them requires acknowledging that their experience is difficult to explain and not jumping to conclusions. But many people who say that they want to help are often the first to jump to conclusions.

I was suicidal because of a party I was at where someone went out of his way to make it seem like I was bothering anyone I tried to talk to. This would have completely thrown off my ability to read people and made me feel like the world was a better place for people like him than for people like me, which would have been deadly when the pandemic started and the painful memory was combined with the loneliness of the pandemic. Thankfully, when I was about to leave that party, two of my friends reassured me that they loved me and wanted me to stay there. They saved my life. But before I understood what happened, I had very powerful feelings for one of those friends (even without consciously thinking about that party). At first it felt like just a crush, but it was so powerful that I could die from it. The feelings I had for her made perfect sense after I realized that she saved my life, but before then it felt like I had an unhealthy obsession with her. So I tried everything I could think of to get my mind off of her, and nothing worked. Being autistic made it much harder, because understanding my emotions and connecting with other people is much harder for me than it is for the average person.

One time, when I was stoned and saying random things to my sister and my mom, I ended up mentioning how traumatic my experience was for me. In an attempt to explain how traumatic it was and how I had to force myself to do things that my brain was not meant to do, I said that after what I've been through I'd probably be able to solve the feud between my other sister and my cousin.

At no point did I plan to do anything, or think it was a good idea, or want to do it, or think it would be easy. I simply mentioned that as a random hypothetical scenario as a comparison in order to illustrate how difficult my experience was. But my mom and my sister started yelling at me. They went back and forth repeatedly yelling "No" at me, probably about five times each separated by a few seconds each time, while I was sitting there silently trying to figure out what was even happening.

They knew that I have a disability that makes confrontation difficult for me, and they also knew that I was stoned at the time and barely able to hold onto a thought for more than a few seconds. They knew that anything I said was just words put together, and that I was unable to make any sort of plans at the time. But that didn't matter. They still felt the need to massively overpower me just because I mentioned something once that they added a hidden meaning to. For some reason, they just had to interpret "I probably could do this" as "I insist on doing this and I dare you to stop me". And on top of that, explaining why they didn't want me to do it (or what they thought "it" even was) never crossed their mind. They just saw something that seemed like an opportunity to gang up on me and they jumped on it.

And because of that, I could no longer open up to them. I was going through something that was nearly impossible to explain on so many levels. And they showed me that if I open up to them, my first priority has to be analyzing what I say in advance to make sure they don't attack me for it. I was already burning myself out by doing an amount of thinking that my brain was never designed to do, and they made it so I had to do even more thinking in order to stop them from making it worse.

But they're the type of people who would share this photo. They're the type of people who society considers compassionate. They're the type of people who would call themselves "empaths". They're the type of people who would "feel bad" when someone commits suicide. But they're also the worst type of people for any suicidal person to open up to.

If you want suicidal people to open up to you, you have to be a safe person to open up to. Don't jump to conclusions. Don't add hidden meanings to what people say. Don't lock in what people say. Don't try to take over a conversation about other people's experiences. Don't expect to be obeyed. Don't expect quick responses. Don't be more forceful than informative. Don't wait for people to be suicidal to start showing them compassion.

[darkestcorners]

darknets | 03 yandere!jungkook au

pairing: yandere!jungkook x reader (f)

genre: yandere

warnings: 18+, obsessive & unhealthy behavior, spying, non-consensual videotaping, tormenting, graphic violence,( TW; human trafficking, heavy themes, non-con touching/groping, mentions of physical abuse )

word count: 14.5k

Playlist

A/N; i just want to make it clear, im no expert in criminology so forgive me if there’s inaccuracies, I tried to do my best with research but it’s purely fiction!

summary: You should’ve known better than to chat with strangers online…

Parts: 01 / 02 / 03

The paper cup was held tightly in his hand. He had dropped a tea bag inside , Chamomile. It usually helped with nerves. He watched the girl through the glass, she didn’t look particularly nervous but she did look distraught. The dark eye bags gave away the limited sleep she must have endured, her oversized hoodie making her look smaller than she really was. The added bad posture wasn’t helping either. Her shoulders were slumped, her arms resting on the table in front of her as she stared down at her hands.

Detective Namjoon sighed, opening the door which immediately caused her to turn her head over to him. He gave her a reassuring smile, passing her the cup as he seated himself across from her. His long limbs sat a bit awkwardly on the small chair but he squared his shoulders nonetheless.

“I understand you said she had been acting a little strange for the past few days.” He stated, maintaining a steady gaze on the girl.

“Did she have any mental health issues that you know of? Was she struggling with depression, anxiety or anything of the sort?”

Mina swallowed, bringing her eyebrows together in feigned concernment.

“No, not that I know of.” She explained, letting out another shaky breath. “ It’s just, she was acting really paranoid like, just off, you know?”

Namjoon listened, nodding slowly as another question sat on his tongue.

“Was she scared of someone perhaps? An ex-boyfriend, someone she was romantically involved with?”

“No, I mean the last boyfriend she had was over a year ago and he transferred to another college months ago.” Mina shook her head, then hesitated a bit. “But-“

The detective raised an eyebrow in question, eyes darting around her face as he silently urged her to continue.

“But..?” He added quietly, the girl seemed to be unsure of herself which wasn’t always a good sign. The behavior usually signaled she was holding back, knew a bit more than she was willing to confidently say or was afraid of saying it.

“She had a crush, a guy in our college.” She replied, frowning slightly. “ Jaehyun. I don’t why I brought it up, it’s just a stupid crush.”

Namjoon tilted his head, wondering if the girl really had just brought him up at the sudden topic of her friend’s romantic life or because she suspected him somehow.

It seemed to be an over-analysis on his part but he knew not much was out of the question when it came to missing person cases.

This could be nothing or it could be a lead.

“Did they ever hook up? Form a deeper relationship? Any red flags that you noticed?”

“I don’t think so.” Mina shrugged, looking conflicted as she seemed to try and recall the details. Her eyes were still bloodshot and dried tears stained her cheeks. It made for a pitiful scene, the scene of a girl who looked like she was imagining the worst case scenario regarding her missing best friend.

“I just want you to understand how important it is that you tell me everything.” Namjoon emphasized, leaning forward in the chair, causing it to squeak against the floor.

“You are the last person she contacted, I’m sure you know how pivotal that is.” He brought his hands together, tone light but persuasive. “ You are her closest friend, you may know things she may never have even told her parents.”

Mina bit her lip, her eyes becoming glossy again as tears threatened to spill. It was fortunate she was such an easy crier, her cousin had mentioned time and time again how much of a wonderful actress she was but she hated when Jungkook said that.

It made it seem like there was truly nothing beating inside her, like every action was calculated and void of any real emotion. But it wasn’t like that, she wasn’t like Junglook who never let emotions get in the way of the business. A part of her did ache for her friend, ached with guilt of what she had done to her. Ached even more for the uncertain future that faced her and what Jungkook planned on doing to her.

Her cousin was never the gentle or the understanding type. Jungkook had always been ill-tempered , even when they were children. She remembered how much he loved teasing her, borderline bullying her at times. A particular instance was when she was playing with her dolls, combing their hair and pampering them. Jungkook had come up beside her seemingly just being nosey until he had snatched up the dolls and ran outside with them. Mina remembered chasing him around the small rundown apartment building , yelling at him to give them back but he never did.

The next morning when she went outside, she had found them all tied up on a tree branch, their bodies hanging upside down without their heads.

When she had cried to Jungkook about it, he simply told her to get over it and that she should never get attached to useless things. He was cynical even at such a young age and she wondered if the incident had somehow been foreshadowing of what the future would hold for him. For both of them.

But then she also remembered how much Jungkook taught her how to defend herself, to stand up to anyone who would try to walk over her. He had always defended her, no matter how mean he was most of the time. She didn’t see him that often as kids, maybe if she had, he would have grown to be more sympathetic or not nearly as rough. But Jungkook was in and out of foster homes like she was, they unfortunately were always separated since they weren’t siblings , only cousins. It caused them to only be able to occasionally visit each other until their grandparents had finally taken full custody of them both when they entered high school.

She supposed this life was unavoidable considering their less than fortunate backgrounds, a life filled with deceit, dirty money and betrayal.

“I know,” Mina told the detective, letting the tears fall. “I promise I’ll tell you anything I can, just please find her.”

She sniffed, raising her head and winced instantly. The blow to her head you had inflicted on her when attempting to escape was brutal, she had bled a significant amount but the medical staff insisted she wouldn’t need stitches. The pain still weighed heavy on her head, she had taken aspirin twice already on the long drive back into town but it was as if she hadn’t taken any at all.

Her head was bound to feel awful for at least a couple more days.

She would admit she wasn’t the least bit surprised by the strength you had mustered up to throw her against that wall. She knew you always had a fight in you, you were not weak or easily afraid.

And that’s exactly why she feared for you in Jungkook’s hands.

“You okay?” Namjoon asked, observing her closely.

“Yeah,” Mina assured, adapting a higher pitch tone. “ My head is just killing me, I haven’t slept that good with everything…going on.”

“I understand.” He leaned back, nodding to himself as weighed over his options.

He didn’t want to break it to the girl at the moment but unfortunately, the case was having trouble being a top priority considering the missing person was of age. People tended to leave or travel somewhere without saying a word, that was just a fact. While he himself wasn’t convinced that was the case, as he found it rare for a young college girl to seemingly disappear with a fatally ill father and limited money in her bank account, he knew it could easily be looked over by his team.

They had tracked her card activity and it had not been used once which would usually incline she most likely was not on a simple trip or fleeing.

But it wasn’t enough to completely rule out the possibility , there were cases where people didn’t use their cards in fear of being tracked down by family members. However, her phone was also non-traceable which raised a bit more concern.

“You’ll find her right?” Mina pressed, a practiced and carefully constructed look of pure agony flashing through her features.

“You can’t let her become one of the many missing girls that never get found or worse, it’s always too late and they end up…” The girl’s voice wavered as she took a breath. “ dead.”

The detective looked away at the sight of her never ending tears, his face pinching in frustration.

“I promise I’ll try my best for that to not be the case.” A look of determination crossed his eyes, his tone stern. “ Why don’t you go get some rest? I’ll let you know if there’s any updates or if I need more information.”

Mina gave him a slow nod, shakily taking the cup from the table at last and bringing it to her chapped lips.

Namjoon lifted himself off the chair and made his way out the interrogation room. The door clicked shut behind him as he walked forward and stood in front of the glass, looking through the case file and the new notes he had gathered up.

“Anything?” His colleague asked him, the shorter and significantly grumpier detective came to stand next to him with a questioning glance. His black hair was brushed back, revealing his handsome pale face that held a somber expression.

“Not much Yoongi, the friend basically told me the same thing her parents did. The girl doesn’t suffer from any mental disorders, she had a pretty normal life, decent friends and no seeming reason to flee town.” Namjoon explained.

Yoongi nodded, taking a look through the glass and examining the girl.

“She did mention she was acting pretty off a few days before though, paranoid it seems.” Namjoon adds with a frown.

Yoongi’s gaze slowly leaves the girl to land back on his partner, he seems to process the information before he voices his thoughts.

“You mentioned her father is terminally ill and the family isn’t in the best financial situation, could she have possibly run off to find some money? Shady business?” The detective offered.

“Possibly but why wouldn’t she at least tell her friends? Unless she was doing something very illegal.” Namjoon thought it out, suddenly considering the idea more before another thought crossed his mind.

“There’s another thing, it’s probably nothing but the friend mentioned some crush, a guy named Jaehyun. She seemed a little weird about him.”

Yoongi’s eyebrows knitted together at the information and it was clear both detectives were thinking the same thing.

“A crush? Nothing more?”

“The friend denied it but she looked unsure of her answer, like she really didn’t know the full length of the relationship possibly.” Namjoon replied, eyes glued on the file in his hand.

Yoongi’s face didn’t give away much, it never really did. He had a perfected poker face and it was something that always slightly bothered the other detective for it was difficult to truly see what he was feeling or going through his head.

Suddenly, the file folder was ripped out of Namjoon's hands and he sent a glare to his colleague.

“You’re right, it could be nothing or it could be a college hook up gone terribly wrong.”

Namjoon never appreciated how drastically his partner jumped to conclusions, he supposed it was part of any detective's job to consider every possibility , no matter how unlikely it seemed but it seemed like the shorter detective always had an extreme way of working with cases with little evidence to go by.

“Looks like we need to have a talk with this Jaehyun guy.” Yoongi waved the folder in his hand before stalking away, leaving Namjoon completely flabbergasted.

As always.

—

Your skin felt sticky with sweat, you awoke with a loud gasp, inhaling the air sharply as your body sprung up. Expecting to feel the hard cushion beneath you and the familiar brick walls, you were alarmed when you realized there was no hard surface beneath you. You lay in a wide bed, soft with silk sheets and pillows that felt like mountains of clouds.

The room was large. Well, larger than the one you previously had been stuck in. Your eyes traveled to the vanity on the side, bright round bulbs lined up the mirror and all types of makeup, accessories and perfumes sat on it.

If you were being honest, part of you expected to not wake up at all, convinced that Jungkook had ultimately decided to bury a bullet inside your head after the events that took place.

It was all you had dreamed about.

The trigger going off, the image of Do-yeon’s figure just plopping onto the ground with a pool of blood to greet your knees. Whether her eyes would have fallen shut or chillingly remained opened with a soulless stare to swallow you up.

You couldn’t believe you had been willing to do that.

You couldn't believe you had almost done that if the gun had actually been loaded.

It didn’t let you rest. Do-yeon was alive, at least that’s what you thought. There was no reason for you to dwell on what could’ve been but you couldn’t help but feel like you deserved every bad thing happening to you for so willingly being ready to take someone’s life to save yourself.

“Bad dreams?” The voice was unexpected, it brought you out of your half conscious state immediately and you turned your neck to explore the layout of the room.

It was a loft-style bedroom, with a staircase to your right and at the bottom floor was evenly furnished, expensively furnished. It was wide and spacious, decorated with pretty ornaments and a neutral gray color scheme. Somehow, that made your stomach flip, such a seemingly normal room hidden within this type of foul environment was nauseating.

Your captor sat at the bottom on a sofa, legs spread out as he looked up at you.

It was then you also realized that your wrists weren’t being tugged, they didn’t burn or ache and your eyes slowly fell on them as you brought them up to your face.

You weren’t tied up.

“ Surprised?“ Jungkook spoke as he watched you with a lazy smirk.

“You shouldn’t be, ropes serve no purpose other than for punishment.” He added as he stood up with a sigh, sending you another more knowing look. “ Or maybe you like being tied up …in other ways.”

You eye him, ignoring his crude comment and frowning as you take in your surroundings one more time. That’s when it hit you to look down at yourself, your eyes slowly landing on your legs and noticing the ripped tights were no longer on your thighs.

Chin dipping, you let out a hiss at the sight of the new clothing on your body. Gray sweatpants with a matching tank top.

“You undressed me!?” You shout, feeling a shiver run through your body at the thought of him undressing you.

“Relax, I promise I didn’t peek.” His deep voice travels easily to you. You don’t miss the light and taunting tone he used. “Well, maybe a little.”

“You sick bastard, you touched-“

“I didn’t do anything but dress you, calm the hell down.” The sternness of his statement makes you shut your mouth, you nearly have to quite literally bite your tongue in order not to continue lashing out at him. Could you even trust what he told you? You supposed it didn’t even matter anymore, your body didn’t belong to you anymore in a place like this.

“Where am I?” You demand. “ Why am I here?”

“Did you forget already?“ He asks with fake amusement, walking near the staircase and leaning against it. “ You’re my new golden girl, princess.”

Your heart sank at his words, remembering what he had told you after you had pulled the trigger.

“And with that comes your new privileges, starting with your new room.” He looks around, and you notice a long slit on his pierced eyebrow, the dried blood clear.

But that’s only the less severe of his injuries, as your eyes study him more you notice more dried blood on the side of his neck. You squint, seeing an earring missing from his left ear, the cross earring you so very much hated. You couldn’t make out the wound in detail from where you sat but you still found yourself wincing at the sight of it .

That had to hurt, you thought to yourself.

“Don’t you like it?” He turns back to you, his upper lift lifting to reveal his upper teeth in a patronizing smile. “ I think it’s rather fitting for such a spoiled little princess .”

His last words came out in a sneer, a dark glare forming in his gaze that revealed the simmering anger that he had yet to cool down from. He was clearly still upset with your attempted escape, and that brought you a bit of joy, seeing him upset in any way was rewarding to you.

“Why are you doing this? After trying to escape, why give me this luxury?” You spit at him, it was as if the events that occurred the night before had never happened in the first place. No matter how much he threatened you, you wouldn’t become a puppet to him.

“And where is Do-yeon?” You add, your eyes lingering on the nasty cut on his eyebrow and on the reddish tint that covered his face. His hair was out of place too, messily swept to one side.

Jungkook licked his lips, tilting his head to the side.

“Don’t tell me you’re concerned for the girl you nearly blew the brains out of?” He taunted with a sinister tone, he sounded amused as if he truly found the situation entertaining.

“Don’t worry, princess. She’s none of your concern. In fact, I bet she would be very thankful for you right now.” He raised both his eyebrows with a practiced look of genuine concern that made his doe eyes seem boyish for a second.

“Because of you, I have no use for her anymore so I handed her off to my buddies.” He explained, voice lowering. “ They must be taking great care of her, they’ve always loved sharing my leftovers.”

Your mouth curls in disgust, your skin crawling at the thought of Do-yeon being stuck with more men like him and being made to do god knows what.

Then Mina’s words entered your mind.

“My cousin may be cruel but there’s others here much worse than him.”

“Although, they are into some rather odd stuff.” Jungkook continued with his torment. “And they hate disobedience, much like me.”

He took a step forward, slowly starting to climb the staircase.

“But unlike me,” He kept his dark eyes on you. “They aren’t as kind to the girls, not very big on the ‘no hitting women’ policy.”

When he made it to the top of the steps, he paused, eyes traveling to your worn out appearance and the way you stiffened immediately.

“And you are?” You threw back at him, finding it hard to believe he was excluded from the terrible acts they did to the girls here.

His eyes narrowed , taking heavy steps towards the bed.

“You tell me. If I was a worse man, you’d be in a body bag right now after that little stunt you pulled.” He bit out, keeping his intense gaze on you. “ Maybe I’d even ship the body bag back to your parents, right on their doorstep.”

The blood drained from your face, hating how much his words struck you. You immediately imagined your parent’s faces, their broken expressions upon seeing your corpse. Your little brother’s face.

“Or,” He thought for a moment, now looking down at your figure. “ You could be a good little broken doll, you know how many sick fucks would pay to see you just limp and unconscious while men did unspeakable things to you?”

You sucked in a breath, somehow despising that scenario even more.

Jungkook watched your reaction, an unreadable look on his face despite the clear sinister words he had uttered out his mouth.

“So yes, I do think I’m rather kind.” He finished, lips twitching when he noticed your frozen stance.

“Why me?” You blurt out and watch his expression change instantly, not seeming to expect the sudden question.

“Why choose me over Do-yeon? Over your golden girl? Huh?” It didn’t make any sense to you, why would he trade you, a complete stranger who he had just kidnapped over a girl who was seemingly his favorite for a while, someone so striking and willing to please him.

Why me? The nausea hadn’t gone away, it only got worse with how much the question ran through your head. You tried to figure out the reason for his sudden interest in you, did he simply take joy in terrorizing you?

Jungkook was silent for a long moment, you thought he wasn’t going to answer your question at all but then he placed his hands on the mattress, leaning forward as you sat there, refusing to back up despite the sheer terror that ran through you.

“I always like to break my new toys before handing them off to the others.” He told you. His face was so close that your noses nearly touched.

“Ruin them for others.” He lifted a piece of your hair, tugging it surprisingly hard that you nearly let out a yelp.

You glared at him.

“Make them remember how much they are going to miss me when I let them go,” He hissed. “How much they are going to beg to return to me even when they claimed to hate me so much.”

You were sure you’d rather put a bullet through your own head before ever begging him.

As if he could read your thoughts, he let go of your hair before gripping the side of your face, bringing you closer and you nearly fell right onto him with the sudden pull he gave you.

“We are going to have a fun time together, don’t you think?”

Before you could respond to him, his lips met yours in a harsh kiss. Your face scrunched up instantly and you attempted to pull away from it but Jungkook’s hands gripped the back of your neck, further pushing you onto his mouth . Half his body was on you as your hands attempted to pull his weight off, your hands throwing pathetic punches towards his shoulders.

When he finally let go, you gasped for air immediately but not before you went to lunge at him.

He caught your arms with ease, pushing you back against the mattress and away from him, dodging your attempts to hit him.

“If you can’t even handle a little kiss from me then I do worry how you are meant to manage.” He chuckled, taking long strides back towards the staircase and you practically sneered at him. You pushed hair out of your face, the force of his push had sent you completely flying face-down on the bed.

You wiped your swollen lips with the back of your hand, hating how much he thought he had a right to you.

“Fucking asshole.” You hiss, clenching your jaw as you see him already reach the bottom of the stairs and make his exit out the room.

Your glare is set on him as he opens the metal door, clearly locked with a passcode that you will never know the code of. He lifts his gaze up to you, meeting your eyes as an amused expression still sits on his face.

“Careful, I’m really starting to like that attitude.”

Your face instantly falls and his lips quirk up at the sight, sending you one last look before the sound of the door echoed shut throughout your cage.

—

The hot shower steamed up the glass on the sliding doors, the mist quickly filled the bathroom and suffocated it. Jungkook lifted his head up, letting the water run down his face as he ran a hand through his hair. He couldn’t stand the stench of iron on his shirt anymore, soaked with his Do-yeon’s blood from pathetic attempts that only sealed her fate further.

Not only that, his shirt had also been stained with the blood of his cousin from the hard hit to her head.

He felt for Mina, he really did but she was incredibly stupid for letting her guard down. If Jungkook had taught her anything, it was that you never turn your back on your enemy, that included the hostage. His cousin knew better, he knew Mina had been trained well enough so he knew that her moment of weakness was due to her close relationship with you.

He had to remind himself to make it clear to her that she couldn’t let that happen again.

He shut off the shower, sliding open the door and stepping out. Wrapping a towel around his waist loosely , he ran his palm across the mirror and took a look at his scratched up face. The cut on his eyebrow was still visible but less so now that the dried blood has washed off. Nonetheless, it looked like it would leave an ugly scar, a long open slit through the eyebrow was already forming.

Do-yeon had been a pain in the ass to get rid of, it’s as if the girl had already known the fate that awaited her with Jimin and Taehyung because she had resisted with every last bit of her strength.

She had twisted in his grip, flailing her arms around like a mad woman and begged him to not do it. In her frantic actions, she had gripped his hair and when he went to remove her hand, her perfectly manicured long nails had dragged along his face, nearly ripping his piercing out completely with the amount of desperation she had fought with. She didn’t stop there though. When he had pulled her off him, she lunged back into him with greater force, ripping the earring off his ear, causing blood to gush out immediately.

But alas, she couldn’t escape it. Jungkook had grown angrier by the minute and practically threw her out the luxurious room that was once her safe space and into the hands of the duo with the worst reputation in the building.

If Jungkook had even half the heart, he would have thought twice about sentencing her to such a cruel fate that would end in non-stop suffering. He knew of their ways, he had not been lying to you when he said that some men here didn’t have any morals left.

Why would they when they were already committing one of the most heinous of acts?

But Jungkook didn’t even have a quarter of a heart when it came to Do-yeon anymore. Whatever little sympathy or care he may have once for her had completely vanished the moment he saw her on that fence, ready to make a run for it. His rules were always simple, don’t bite the hands that feed you.

And he wasn’t the forgiving type.

However, something deeper brewed underneath him. The imagine of you was ingrained in his mind, it had been the moment he saw you though that webcam you had dumbly not covered. Your face was pretty, very pretty but it wasn’t anything out of this world and he knew that. With the type of business he was in, he had seen dozens and dozens of pretty faces over the years, some that could give models a run for their money.

But he thought you would make a good addition, you were cute and had a normal enough appearance. Some viewers liked the less luxurious look, some favored a more subtle appearance that didn’t stand out much for whatever reason. That had been his excuse, that you would be good business and a new fun thing to play with.

It wasn’t completely true though. Jungkook’s liking towards you was stubborn, more stubborn than the average want to just try out another new pretty face. He couldn’t understand what was so different about you because there wasn’t anything different about you.

Yet you had struck a nerve with him, the determination you had and how quickly you had moved into action. Most girls were too afraid to anger anyone here when they first came, too in shock to even react to the circumstances but your fear was no match for your anger. Even a moment ago, he could tell how scared you were but you were too prideful to show it, putting on a brave face in front of him as if he couldn’t see past it.

You reminded him of himself in a way.

Putting up a tough act and steel font to protect yourself.

Except his wasn’t an act or a font. He wanted to show you he could easily break down those steel walls of yours. You were no match for him.

So why did you make him so angry? You infuriated him. Ever since he found you, he couldn’t get you out of his head. Nothing seemed to distract him enough, he had a tendency to get obsessed with the chase, the stalking and tracking down of new girls for the business.

But once he caught them and brought them here, he never bothered much with them after that.

Not with you though.

His fascination should have been dying down by now but why did only seem to be growing? He didn’t like the feeling inside him. It was intoxicating, he felt so feverish when he had watched you sleep earlier.

When he was taking off your clothes earlier to change you, he hadn’t been lying to you when he said he hadn’t done anything else. He was tempted to, so tempted but his eyes took you in your face instead. The way small puffs of air left your plump lips. His attention was purely on the way your face scrunched up every so often, as if you were experiencing the worst nightmare. Which you were, he supposed. His fingers had trailed your collarbone, relishing in the softness of your skin. It had reminded him of when he had sneaked into your room all those weeks ago, how he’d taken pictures of your exposed neck. It was his favorite part of your body for some reason, perhaps he simply loved to imagine his fingers around your neck, tightening until you begged him to stop with choked breaths. Once he had finished dressing you, he had called for a medic to check on you just to be sure you didn’t have any further injuries and to confirm that your state of unconscious had only been because of how worn out you had been.

He didn’t like the discomfort and skittishness he felt seeing you so lifeless, it was the first time you had looked so at peace since you had got here . But somehow he preferred you with that fire and hatred in your eyes.

You weren’t supposed to still be inside his head.

You weren’t supposed to be making him feel this way.

He was supposed to shoot you the moment he saw you fall from that fence, getting ready to sprint. He should’ve shot you but he couldn’t bring himself to pull the trigger. This problem would have been easily solved if you were simply just another corpse to get rid of.

A loud knock on his door brought him back to reality, away from his haunting thoughts.

“Come in.” He replied loudly as he slipped out of the bathroom.

“Well, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes.” The man announced as stepped inside and took a glance at the younger boy’s naked chest that was covered with ink on nearly every inch. Jin himself was dressed in his usual attire that nearly everyone there wore like a uniform. All black .

“Shut the hell up.” Jungkook grumbled walking past him to grab the clothes off the chair that sat at the corner.

“What’s up with your shit mood, thought you got that little new girl back. “ Jin shut the door with the heel of his boot, the sound echoing throughout the wide and long corridors on the other side.

“I did.” Jungkook clipped. “So I don’t want to hear shit from you about how I nearly risked the entire business for some random girl.”

Jin was quiet as he stood by the door. By the sound of his tone, he didn’t probe the younger boy any further. Jungkook would admit he was quite foul when he wasn’t in a good mood. Which was nearly always.

“I know what I’m doing, I always know what I’m doing.” Jungkook sent a harsh glare towards Jin, making it clear.

The older man sent him a hard look in return, not looking exactly convinced by the words or by his attitude.

“And what about your golden girl? I heard she made quite a scene as well.” Jin asked casually, amusement in his tone as he leaned against the wall behind him. Jungkook knew that Jin really couldn’t care less about Do-yeon but he was aware of how long Jungkook had kept her around and he wasn’t a fan of it at all. He remembered all the subtle and not so subtle warnings Jin had thrown at him, urging him to cut ties before things got ugly.

“Do-yeon’s not my problem anymore and much less my golden girl.” Jungkook scoffed, a humorless smile hinting at his lips as rage filled him.

“She could end up in a ditch after Jimin and Taehyung are done with her for all I care.”

Jin hummed in agreement, seemingly glad to hear the detachment in his voice. Jin had made it clear that he thought the girl would end up being trouble, she had gotten too comfortable over the years, sometimes acting like she was above some of the other guys in charge here. Jin thought it was dangerous, he was starting to think Jungkook had indeed formed an attachment to Do-yeon that was more than just physical.

It was stupid of him to think that, Jungkook thought.

He knew his limits and while Do-yeon was gorgeous, that was all she was to him. She had been good to him, really good for years but there was nothing to get attached to.

She was a girl like any other, nothing more and nothing less.

It was better to keep things distant, professional and strictly business when it came to the girls here. They couldn’t be given any glimmer of hope.

“So is the new girl your golden girl now?” Jin teased, crossing his arms as he watched Jungkook finish dressing. Jin never bothered much with favorites, he wanted to keep himself away from them as possible and whatever temptations he had were quickly shut down by his own logical mind. He never involved himself with the same girl twice, that’s just how he preferred it.

Jungkook was an interesting case, that’s what the others here told him. They said he had an air of almost loyalty to him. Jungkook nearly laughed in their faces when they mentioned that, it sounded ridiculous but he couldn’t deny that he had always picked favorites. From the very beginning he would focus on a particular girl and then drop her when he got sick or bored of her.

“For now.” Jungkook simply replied, buckling his belt.

“Doesn’t sound too promising, maybe you should hand her over to Hoseok.” Jin suggested.

That made Jungkook look up sharply, frowning instantly.

“What?”

“Yeah, he mentioned he found her really cute when he snatched her back up for you.” Jin let out a chuckle, obviously taking the piss out of the whole situation.

Jungkook didn’t find it funny though, his lips were set in a straight line as his jaw tensed.

“Tell Hoseok to keep his fucking dick in his pants, at least while he’s with my cousin.” Jungkook spit out, his already sour mood worsening with the very thought of not only that douchebag blatantly cheating on his cousin but him getting anywhere near you sent him over the edge.

He tried to keep the flame at bay but it only worsened the more he tried to suppress his unwelcoming emotions.

“Since when have you cared about monogamy that much? You had no problem sharing Do-yeon from time to time.”

That was different, Jungkook wanted to snap but the words were so foreign even to him.

The thought of any other men here even touching you sent a distasteful image to his head, maybe it was selfishness but Jungkook knew the moment you would act up with someone else here, they wouldn’t hesitate to hurt you. You were not theirs to touch and much less hurt, it enraged him to even think about it.

“Since now.” His words were final. “I don’t give a shit, I’m not sharing.”

Jin knew to back off when he said that, clearly realizing he hit a sensitive spot with both the new girl and Mina. He never knew Jungkook to be that territorial with the women in his life but he supposed he shouldn’t be that shocked, he always had a strong personality that didn’t allow him to take a lot of things lightly.

“Speaking of Mina, are you sure we can trust her not to crack with the authorities?” Jin swiftly changed the subject to more serious matters. He had been worried ever since Mina went back in town, knowing the police were likely questioning right now.

“Mina may be clumsy and an idiot half the time,”Jungkook reasoned with a heavy sigh. “ But she’s loyal, she would never betray me.”

Jin knew he was right, nobody would have allowed her into this business if they suspected she would rat them out at the first chance she got. She had always been on top of everything, despite her clear distaste for it.

Still, he knew how much detectives loved to play mind games in order to corner the suspects.

“How long do you think until she’s in the clear?”

“Couple weeks maybe,” Jungkook shrugged, seeming to calculate the exact time in his head. “She needs to stay in town for a while to not raise any suspicion. It won’t be that long before they consider it a cold case, Y/n is not a minor or a child so they won’t prioritize it as much.”

“Or even better, consider Jaehyun the number one suspect and murderer.” He added with a raised brow, proud smirk forming on his lips and Jin knitted his eyebrows as his gaze narrowed.

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

Jungkook had moved in front of his mirror, hissing as he further examined the wound on his ear.

“What a little bitch..” He mumbled as the memory of Do-yeon’s nails surfaced again.

“You better not have done some stupid shit, I’m serious.” Jin warned behind him, his tone lowering. Jungkook rolled his eyes.

“Relax, it’s just some fabricated messages. Light work for me.” He replied with a smirk, unable to hide the cynical pleasure he took in the situation.

Jin eyed him with clear uncertainty, his face hardening. If he knew anything about Jungkook, it was that he always took things too far. He knew the younger boy like the back of his hand, had an impulsive nature that didn’t blend well with his malicious tendencies.

“What will they find on that classmate’s computer?” Jin asked lowly.

Jungkook’s eyes met his through the mirror but he wasn’t the least bit put off by Jin’s intimidation. Nobody here frightened him.

“I’m just not a fan of history majors.” Jungkook told him instead with an innocent look that made his doe eyes gleam. That made Jin nearly let out a low chuckle of utter disbelief before he shook his head and opened the door, sending him one last warning look.

“Whatever, just make sure your cousin doesn’t fuck this up.”

—

“Excuse me.”

The muffled voice went unnoticed by you, along with the sound of a key card sliding.

You had been going insane stuck inside this room, the said ‘luxuries’ were no comfort at all. Sure, they may serve as a temporary relief from the awful ropes they had tied you with on your arrival here but it didn’t erase the reality. It was nothing but that, a distraction.

A gilded cage.

In a way, you had almost preferred that Jungkook had kept you in the old room, at least no memories that constantly shoved your utter betrayal in your face were in there. Even if there wasn’t anything particularly unique about the bedroom, nothing that indicated Do-yeon had lived here for years. You could just imagine her here, sitting where you now sat.

You had searched for any small thing that was hers, an accessory, a hairbrush, makeup even. But there was nothing. Everything looked brand new, untouched. All the makeup was unopened, the hair brushes had not one piece of hair on them and the accessories were all still packaged in small boxes.

You wondered if the smell of the sheets were the only thing left of her but even those smelled freshly washed with the strong scent of detergent coating them.

It disturbed you how easily he managed to get rid of her and not leave a single trace behind in what used to be her room. In a strange way, it almost made you feel like a home wrecker of some sort.

You couldn’t help but think that was bound to happen to you too.

When would Jungkook get rid of you and toss you out? When will he erase every trace of you in this room for the next girl who met the same path? Was it all just a vicious cycle? The thought made you fist up the comforter underneath you, unable to hold down the displeasure.

You needed to figure out where Do-yeon was now.

“Hello? I’m sorry to disturb you but they told me to come get you.” You finally glanced down to the bottom floor, your eyes landing on who the feminine voice belonged to.

A girl stood here, she didn’t look much younger than you but she definitely looked more meek. She was short, a look of pure uncertainty had taken over face as she peeked into the room.

“I-I’m meant to take you to the cafeteria for lunch.”

That made you reluctantly stand from the bed but you couldn’t help the confusion you felt with every one of her words. You eyed her with uneasiness as you slowly made your way down the steps.

“Who are you?” You ask and for the first time today, your mind wanders to Mina. Where was she? A dark thought passed through you, one that wondered if you had injured her severely to the point of head trauma.

Another even more sinister thought came flooding in after that, one that asked you why you would even care. Mina was the reason you were here, if anything , you wished she was dead. Death was little to pay for what she had done to you.

That cynical part of your mind concerned you, it was far too easy for you to access it and wish death upon those who wronged you but you couldn’t help it. You were always the type to hold grudges and this was one you would take to your grave.

“Uh…” The girl stalled as she seemed to debate answering the question. “ Jiyeon.”

As you neared the door, you took a better look at her scared figure. She wore simple clothes, similar to ones Jungkook had dressed you in. A gray tank top but she wore matching shorts instead of sweat pants.

“Did Jungkook send you?”

“No,” She replied, unable to keep your gaze. “Jin did.”

Who was Jin?

“Who’s that?”

“Um, he’s the person in charge of us.” She licks her lips. “Well, one of them.”

You raise an eyebrow, glancing ahead of her towards the empty corridors.

“Cafeteria? Is that where all the girls eat?” You ask shakily, your mind instantly going towards Do-yeon.

Was she there? If she was, you needed to talk to her.

Jiyeon simply nods, a look of impatience flashing her eyes.

“Okay, let’s go.” You nod and she hesitantly steps aside, no longer blocking the exit and you waste no time to get out of the room.

It quickly comes to your attention that you’re not sure how you are meant to navigate this factory, everything looks too similar. The long illuminated corridors resembled the exact ones Mina had taken you through but it couldn’t be the same one. At least, that’s what you thought.

You imagine it must’ve been on purpose or simply the way the factory was originally built. It didn’t provide any unique starting point or a way to memorize certain doors or hallways. It was intended to be confusing, it was meant to install doubt at every corner and leave you wondering what actually sat behind each door.

The girl walked in hurried yet unsteady steps. She kept glancing back at you every other second, afraid she’d somehow lose sight of you when it was merely impossible for you to go anywhere without her knowledge. You felt yourself quickly feeling sorry for the girl, she was just like you. One more captive.

You wondered if maybe you would look just as scared as her one day. That instead of building more resistance, you’d get every ounce of bravery sucked out of you and eventually cower completely and give up.

“How long have you been here for?” The question naturally flies out your mouth as you stare down at your socked feet padding against the floors.

The girl is quiet, looking over her shoulder at you then her eyes drift to the upper corners of the walls.

“I’m not sure,” She says, shrugging. “Months.”

She didn’t know?

Of course she didn’t, they probably didn’t keep them up to date on anything here. They were left completely in the dark about everything and they’d soon start to forget how many days or weeks had passed.

“How….how’d they find you?”

There was a long pause before she answered.

“I don’t know …I just came across a job offering online. It was for some private company.” Jiyeon slowed her steps a bit. “He was nice, really nice.”

You swallowed, feeling your stomach flip.

“Who was?”

“The guy.” Her voice wavered, a new emotion taking over. “ The one who stuck me inside a van as soon as our ‘interview’ was over .”

Your head felt tight with the twisted thoughts that swirled inside , each one so sinister and dreadful. You were in fact not special, your case couldn’t be unique. These girls had been preyed on by men just like Jungkook, maybe not exactly the same way but that’s what made it more alarming. They had different methods of catching the victims, some probably more subtle and discreet than others.

Before you could question her further, you both came down to what looked like a dead-end that reminded too much of the path you and Do-yeon had faced in your failed escape. However, Jiyeon stopped before you reached that dead-end and turned to a pair of large doors to your right, with surprising windows that let your peer inside.

Your eyes took in all the girls inside, most sitting on what looked to be cafeteria style tables and some walking around the wide space. The doors were pulled open by the girl in front of you and you hurried inside , your gaze determined to land on Do-yeon. The room had no windows as expected, no way of bystander even catching a glimpse of the hell inside here.

What first caught your attention was someone staring at you . You looked to the side, seeing a guy with a lean figure standing with his arms lazily crossed over his chest who had seemed to have been watching over the girls before he had taken interest in your arrival. His hair was a bleached blonde, falling gracefully along his face that was made up of both sharp and soft features.

His slit-eyed gaze in particular was a bit overwhelming but his overall expression was welcoming, kind even.

He sent a wide smile your way, eyes crinkling at the corners as he motioned for you to come over.

“That’s Jimin.” Jiyeon whispered to you before you both walked in sync towards him.

“This our new girl?” He asked, in a voice of silk. Jiyeon gave him a single curt nod, immediately stiffening.

“Yes, I was told to bring her to eat here.” She says as her eyes are glued to the floor and you raise an eyebrow in question.

She looked petrified.

The guy, Jimin, studied her for a moment. He didn’t look the least bit upset or angry which is why you were a little put off by how the girl looked like she was ready to vomit all over herself. Color drained from her face, coming and going as you saw the tips of her fingers twitch with nerves.

“Right,” Jimin says, eyes landing on you for a mere second and then he taps Jiyeon’s chin with two fingers. “Keycard, please?”

She quickly reaches behind her, pulling out the card from the waistband of her shorts and hands it over to him. He takes it swiftly, the card disappearing somewhere inside his back pocket before you could catch a good glimpse of it.

“Thank you,” He emphasizes with a brighter smile and you can’t deny he was handsome. You wonder if that’s also meant to mean something, were the men here specifically young and attractive to lure girls in? You didn’t doubt it one bit.

“What a doll, as always.” His tone is light and friendly as he points behind him. “Why don’t you go grab a bite? Before the food gets cold.”

Jiyeon didn’t linger for even a second, her legs worked faster than her brain because she was out of his sight before he had even finished his last sentence. He seemed to notice it too, his eyes trailing behind her and at the way she scurried off. He laughed under his breath, shaking his head slightly.

You instantly felt compelled to follow her so you quickly began making your way towards the direction she went but Jimin’s voice stopped you dead in your tracks.

“I didn’t say you could go.”

Halting, you turn to glance at him over your shoulder. His tone had been sharp but his expression held no sign of it.

He gave a grin instead.

“I’m just messing with you, relax.” He sounded so sickeningly sweet. “You new ones are always so jumpy.”

You eyed him with obvious suspicion, turning to look ahead of you at all the dozens of girls who sat on the worn out cafeteria tables. They all held similar expressions, some more unnerved than others and some even looking slightly bored. It was clear who were the ones that had been here a while, they looked defeated and lifeless. Your eyes caught sight of Jiyeon again, a tray of food in her hands as she cautiously walked to an open spot at a table. Her eyes alert and wide, like she was always expecting something to jump at her.

“She’s not new.” You pointed out.

You didn’t know if Jimin had heard you until he walked up beside you which made you almost flinch away. His eyes followed yours.

“She’s always been like that.” He told you in an informative tone. “You should’ve seen her when I was interviewing her. Shaking in her seat.”

You took in his words, remembering what Jiyeon had just told you. An interview.

This was the guy who took her.

“To be fair, she wouldn’t have gotten the job anyway. Even if it was real.” He teased as he leaned closer to you.

“It’s really a shame but the ones I choose aren’t the brightest.”

You narrowed your eyes at him, feeling a hot ball of anger in the pit of your stomach. His sweet tone didn’t match the words he’d say at all, it was infuriating to say the least.

“ I didn’t mean to upset you, I was just pointing out the obvious.” He leaned back, sighing. “If some of these girls were smarter they wouldn’t fall for such sketchy internet scams.”

“Is that what you tell yourself to not feel guilty for kidnapping innocent girls?”

You should have held your tongue, you had already been warned before by Mina and Jungkook. You knew better and your instincts told you to keep quiet but yet your mouth seemed to move on its own. To your surprise though, Jimin didn’t look angry or put off by what you said.

He sent you a tight-lipped smile.

“No,” He hums. “I never said I felt guilty.”

That made you fall silent, you couldn’t help but feel a little shocked at the way no emotion crossed his eyes. Just a vacant stare.

“Of course, why would I expect anything more from sick bastards like you.” You say.

His smile didn’t falter but his eyes squinted a bit as they roamed you.

“I can see you haven’t been properly trained yet.” You kept your hard stare on him. “ Funny, I’d imagined you’d be after what you pulled.”

Jimin’s hands moved behind his back, taking a step closer. The scent of rosewood hit your nostrils.

“I wonder if our Jungkook has gone soft?” He whispered.

Hardly, you thought to yourself. Jungkook was anything but soft, he was absolutely insane and cruel. Has this guy lost his mind? Was he simply joking with you? Or worse, was what Jungkook had told you in fact true?

You didn’t want to believe it. You didn’t want to think that Jungkook was your best option here because it couldn’t be true. Not after the way he treated you. Not after making you do that to Do-yeon and tossing her to the side like damaged goods.

“Jimin.” The call of his name made him slowly turn his head, his attention ripped away from you and towards another guy behind you both.

The man looked slightly older but his face was youthful, and of course, he was also stunning. It was starting to get insulting at this point. His dark hair was at a similar length as Jungkook’s but his features were vastly different. They were much more softer and subtle, a look of elegance almost. He was lean and tall, significantly taller than the guy in front of you right now.

He gave Jimin a warning look, tilting his head to motion him to follow him.

Jimin turned back to you, seeming to take you in again before another one of those chilling bright smiles returned to his face.

“It was nice meeting you, doll.” He said in a tone that dripped of false sincerity. “ I’m sure you’ll be much more pleasant next time I see you.”

You didn’t want to know what he meant by that but you felt the air return to you when he turned to leave at last, walking towards the other man waiting for him. They disappeared behind a corner, leading who knows where and you were left alone to contemplate your horrible nightmare yet again.

Something about that guy was so off. You almost laughed at your conclusion, there was something obviously off with every man here. They were human traffickers for god’s sake.

The quiet chattering that filled the room made you turn your attention back to what you came here to find. The girls seemed to actually be allowed to converse amongst themselves to your surprise. For some reason, you imagined that even that was also prohibited.

When you made your way towards the countless tables, some girls stared but most kept their head down or angled to whoever they were talking to. You should have made your way to get some food but despite your growling stomach, all you could focus on was finding the girl you had thrown under the bus in the worst possible way.

For a second, the thought of her not being here crosses your mind and that sets you into a quiet panic. If she wasn’t here that must have meant she was somewhere you couldn’t access her easily. This seemed like the only place you could get a solid chance of talking to her and finding out if she was okay. You didn’t know when else you’d be able to get a hold of her. Or if you ever would cross paths again knowing how Jungkook seemed beyond upset with you earlier for even mentioning her name.

“Sorry,” You mumble when you nearly bump into a random girl in your attempt to hurriedly push through the crowded area.

She didn’t acknowledge you as she went about her way. Your eyes non-intentionally followed her and your heart nearly stopped completely when you noticed her sit a comfortable distance away from a familiar face.

Do-yeon’s head hung low in a cowering position. Her dark hair covered most of her face except for the front view that you caught a clear glimpse of. Her arms rested on the table, a tray of food untouched in front of her. Her fists were clenched as she seemed to stare blankly downwards.

You wasted no time in rushing over to her and taking a seat s. right across from her. Thankfully nobody seemed to be within ear-shot. Not that it mattered, every girl here had likely been through worse already.

“Do-yeon.” You say in a gasped whisper.

She looks up with a flinch, her expression morphing into one of clear fear. You force yourself to hold in another gasp as you eye the purple bruise forming on the right side of her upper cheek. It has hues of green on the outer sides and it looked horribly swollen. It caused her eye to appear significantly heavy-lidded and droopy.

But other than that, her entire demeanor looked vastly different from what you had previously seen of her. It resembled the exact way she had appeared that moment Jungkook had caught both of you on the fence.

She looked utterly defeated.

“What happened to you? Who did that?”

Do-yeon seemed to take a second to process you were in front of her, her eyes scanned you as she knitted her eyebrows together.

“You’re not supposed to be here.” She whispered to you, taking a quick glance around. “Does Jungkook know you’re here?”

You felt a pinch of annoyance at her glossing over your question but you were also left confused.

“Isn’t this where all the girls eat?” You ask and let out a sigh. “Forget that, tell me what happened to you.”

She shook her head. “The golden girl doesn’t eat at the cafeteria, you’re not supposed to be here-“

“Do-yeon.” You snap at her. “ I don’t give a shit, what happened to you?”

A frown took over her lips as she swallowed. She blinked rapidly, evidently trying to withhold tears.

“What do you think?” She asked with a sneer that took you by surprise.

You felt your heartbeat pick up again, it no longer felt frozen in your chest but this time it felt like it was slowly shattering apart with every beat.

“He threw me to the side after taking him for granted.” A scoff left her lips as her eyes burned into yours. “No, throwing me to the side would have been a blessing.”

“He threw me to a pair of wolves that are worse than him.”

“They hit you.” You confirm as bile threatens to raise up your throat, staring at the bruise.

Some part of you hoped that Jungkook had been lying just to scare you, that it was a tactic he used on every girl here in order to get them to submit.

“They do worse than that.” Do-yeon states as her jaw tightens.

“I’m so sorry.” Your throat closes up as the guilt practically starts eating you alive. “This all my fault, I -I can try to convince Jungkook to take you back, I promise I’ll -“

“No.” She cuts you off a firm grip on your wrist.

“Jungkook isn’t going to take me back. He isn’t the forgiving type.” She tells with a definitive tone. “I knew that before I took the risk.”

The hope inside your chest deflates further as your mind scrambles to find any sort of solution.

“No, no there has to be something I can-“

“What fantasy are you still living in?” Do-yeon presses with an incredulous look taking over her broken eyes. “Do you not see where you’re at right now? Has it not hit you yet?”

You shut your mouth, lips set in a straight line as it takes everything in you not to reply back to her with a snide remark. It takes a moment for you to realize it, for the fire inside you to dim as you really take in what she’s saying.

She was right, you had not accepted it. You didn’t consider yourself one of these girls yet, you didn’t want to see yourself in them. Accepting this was a form of submission to you, a sign that you needed to adapt. That’s the last thing you wanted to do. For whatever reason, you refused to see yourself as one of them, you had deluded yourself into thinking that maybe it would be different for you and that it would be temporary.

That you still had a chance of making it out.

How stupid could you be? You were no different , the reality of it pierced through you in the most excruciating way. There is nothing that would make you lead a different path than any of the girls here.

“Do you know how rare it is for girls to escape these situations? Huh?” Her words plead to knock some sense into your stubborn head.

“Has anyone ever escaped here?” You throw back at her, your lips trembling.

Do-yeon gives you a long stare, and you swear you see a flash of pity in it.

“If they did, we never knew about it.” She replies. “They’d never let us know if they managed to make it out.”

So, she didn’t know for sure that nobody had escaped. You hated how that little pathetic knowledge made you glimmer with hope again.

It was so rare and it most likely was never going to be you who escaped.

“Your best chance is to stay on Jungkook’s good side. You need to stay with him as long as you can.” Do-yeon's grip tightened even more on your wrist, her nails digging into your skin.

“And what? Become his little pet until he realizes he’s bored-“

“Yes.” She says louder. “Jungkook must see something he likes in you if he was so willing to get rid of me without a second thought.”

“Use it to your advantage, make sure he never trades you for another and much less…pass you to the other men here.” She whispers the last part, sending you a distasteful look that served as enough warning to you.

“As much as I hate him, I’d give anything to go back to him right now.” You hate the crack in her voice when she says it.

“Why are you helping me when I’m the one who did this to you?” You ask, shaking your head as you try to get her to release her grip on you.

“Because I’m not a fucking bitch? You’re not the one who put me here, you’re just another victim like the rest of us.” Do-yeon looks as if she was ready to slap you and you don’t blame her, you’re beginning to get defensive because you don’t like what she’s implying.

Because what she’s implying is you needing to do exactly what Mina had told you from the start, to listen and accommodate.

“What about you!” You hiss at her, lowering your face to hers.

You pointed towards her face and saw her wince.

“What about me?” She takes another breath. “There’s nothing you can do about me, worry about yourself.”

No.

“I’ll worry about getting us the hell out of here.”

Do-yeon lips form a sad smile.

“You need to get real, at the end we are all going to look out for ourselves only.” She tells you as she finally lets go of your wrist. “I thought you’d know that very well already.”

You knew she was referring to what had happened the last time you were together. The very thing you had avoided bringing up and that was still killing you inside. How you didn’t hesitate to put that gun up her head in order to save yourself.

“I-I panicked.” You stammer, eyes widening. “I didn’t want to do that, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“I’m not asking for an apology.” Do-yeon shook her head, eyes glossy. “ You did what anyone else would, you did what I couldn’t. That’s how you survive here.”

You bit your lip to prevent yourself from letting out a sob, your face twisting .

“I really hope your tough girl approach to everything isn’t an act.” She tells with a serious look taking over her pretty features.

“And if it is, you better not let Jungkook find out.”

This threw you off, if Do-yeon had been begging you to please Jungkook and stay on his good side, why wouldn’t she want your toughness to be an act? What did she mean by that? You thought for a second if she meant it in a deeper sense. That maybe she wasn’t referring to physical defiance against him but emotional defiance.

Perhaps what she meant was that you couldn’t let him break who you were and realize you were as easily disposable as she had been.

You felt horrible for even thinking that but was it not the truth? Do-yeon herself was implying that you couldn’t let what happened to her, happen to you.

“I will help you, I promise-“

You paused when your eyes landed on a familiar figure a few away. Your stomach dropped when you realized Jungkook was here, his back was facing you but you could easily identify him. The numerous tattoos on both his arms were recognizable anywhere and even more so with the sleeveless tank top he seemed to be wearing now. His head turned, his sharp side profile further confirming it was him.

He was talking to someone but you couldn’t quite make out who was in front of him. You avoided straightening your posture to try and look over the multiple heads that were in your way of getting a clear view in fear of catching his attention.

“Why bother making promises you can’t keep.” Do-yeon’s voice forced your attention back to her but your eyes kept nervously traveling back to his figure.

She seemed to notice your distracted gaze because she turned around to follow your eye-line.

“Shit,” She said below her breath. “You can’t let him see you with me.”

“What? Why?”

“Are you stupid? Jungkook is a paranoid bastard, he will assume you’re plotting something with me and you’re not exactly on his best side right now.” She tells you and turns to hide herself behind her hair again.

“Get away from here. It won’t end well for either of us if we’re seen together.”

You decide to take her advice due to the sheer panic in her voice and the fact that you truly didn’t know what Jungkook would do to her if he did see you both together. Pulling yourself away from the bench, you walk towards the further back of the room where more girls sat watching their lunch. You don’t exactly know what your plan is but you try to look as casual as possible as you follow a group of girls who seem to be going in the direction of the top shelves that hold some unappetizing food to them.

Trying your best to hide yourself behind them, you copied their actions and picked up a plastic tray from the stack of them in front of you. You reach over to grab a banana from the small pile of fruit and your first mistake is to take another sneaky glance towards Jungkook.

At first, he only seems to be scanning the area with a jaded look on his face but before you could avert your gaze away from him, his eyes trap you in place. He does double take and you flinch your head down quickly but you knew it was too late.

He saw you.

“Fuck,” You curse, trying to busy yourself piling on different foods on your tray as you hope and pray he simply thinks he saw wrong.

You don’t know why you’re so nervous, it wasn’t like you had walked here yourself but everything about him made you squirm. You weren’t sure how he’d react to anything or what little thing could set him off and take it out on you.

Sure enough, you soon felt a hand on your shoulder that practically hauled your entire body around.

“What the hell are you doing here?” You look up at him, his eyes narrowed down at you but you could tell there was confusion behind his question as well.

“A girl brought me here.” You say as you attempt to get out of his grip but he only responds by grabbing your arm instead, pulling you away from the cafeteria top shelf and leaving your tray abandoned.

“What girl?” He demands, his dark eyebrows pinching together and you notice he must've showered not long ago due to the damp hair and spotless skin. There was no dried blood in sight anymore, his neck was clean of it. The cross earring was indeed no longer on his ear, a small wound was in its place. You really hadn’t imagined the severity of his injuries, his earlobe remained awfully swollen.

“I don’t know.” You snap in a defensive tone as you tug against him.

“You don’t know?” Jungkook tilts his head, looking behind him at the countless girls who sat ahead. “Point to her then.”

You stare at him, that fire inside you returning .

“She said her name was Jiyeon.” You spit out.

He turns back to look at you, an unreadable expression taking over his face and then he sighs.

“Was that so hard, princess?” He leans forward, pinching your cheek like one would do to a child as a form of endearment.

You slap his hand away and scowl at him.

“Why can’t I be here? Isn’t it the cafeteria where every girl eats?”

“You’re not just any girl,” He simply states. “ Do I have to keep reminding you of your place?”

“Then why did they drag me here?”

“I have the same question.” A hard look takes over his eyes as he looks ahead, eyebrows still knitted together.

You soon realize his grip on your arm isn’t releasing and he only pulls you into his hard chest him as he begins to walk towards the same entrance doors you came through.

“My food.” You protest as you glance behind you.

He ignores you, positioning you right in front of him and sends you a glare that sends your legs moving as if they are under a spell. You were really getting sick of him manhandling you like you were made of rags instead of flesh and bone.

“I don’t get why you’re mad at me, I didn’t take myself here.”

“I didn’t say I was mad at you, princess.” He says and you can feel him playing with a piece of your hair as he walks too closely behind you.

“And I didn’t realize it bothered you if I was.”

“It doesn’t .” You bite out, feeling your cheeks heat up with anger and a hint of embarrassment.

He chuckles behind you and you feel his hot breath hit the back of your neck.

“ I still don’t get why I can’t just eat here.” You say as you glance back at him.

He eyes you, tilting his head as a smirk teases the corners of his mouth.

“Feeling lonely?” He mocks. “ I’m afraid I don’t like the idea of you making friends with the girls here. Call me dramatic but I don’t quite trust you enough yet.”

Yet.

You wanted to turn around and claw his eyes out so badly.

“So what? I’m going to be stuck in a damn room all day?”

You nearly bump into one of the girl’s walking past you and you feel Jungkook’s fingers tug the back of your shirt to stop the impact. He ‘tsks’ with disapproval of your clumsy nature.

“You mean like a hostage?” He tells with a flat tone and lets out a silent laugh when you whip your head back, sending him a murderous look.

You absolutely loathe him. Every bit of you was shaking with anger but you had to remember what Do-yeon had said to you.

“ You just got here and are already making so many complaints, you really are a princess aren’t you?”

Ignoring him, you pick up your pace and reach out to open the two wide doors but of course, they are sealed shut and no amount of force flings them open.

Every damn corner was a cage.

Jungkook slips in front of you with a knowing look, as if he found your attempt both amusing and plain stupid . He blocks your view as he punches in whatever code on the handle and you’re left to stare down at his leather boots.

The annoying beeps fill your ears as you lift up your head slightly to take one last look behind you towards where Do-yeon was seated. She wasn’t alone this time, the guy you had finished talking to just minutes ago was standing over her, a tight grip on her shoulder as he seemed to be whispering something down to her.

You frown as Jungkook drags you out the door and towards the blinding bright empty corridors again.

—

Once you’re back inside your personalized cell, you can’t help but feel shocked when you see the plate of hot food sitting on the coffee table in the middle of the room. It looks far more appealing than what you had seen back in the cafeteria and you almost feel bad for getting to enjoy another luxury that the rest of the girls who shared your fate didn’t.

But it wasn’t your fault, you had to keep telling yourself that.

With that, you practically run towards the couch and grab the plate of food, sitting it on your lap as you bring a spoonful of it towards your mouth.

“You surely don’t waste time.” Jungkook comments as the metal door shrieks shut behind him.

You want him to leave and let you suffer in your misery alone.

“I’m sure your little adventure in the woods left you weak and starved.”

You don’t look up as you chew the food, gripping the spoon tighter.

“Fuck off.”

He doesn’t respond right away but you hear his footsteps near the seat right across from you.

“Maybe I just won’t feed you tomorrow then.” He tells you with a sigh. “Or the next day after that.”

You swallow the food, hurriedly finishing up the rest on the plate before he has the dark thought of ripping it out your hands. You didn’t doubt for one second that he’d let you starve for the rest of the week for the little comment you made.

“Is that how you treat a golden girl?”

When you look towards him, rubbing a finger over his lips and you eye his bare arms on display. The designs of his tattoos stood out, some were colored while others were just black but they sat nicely on his muscles arms. It made you think about how his entire appearance seemed like a facade. Underneath his tough exterior filled with tattoos and piercings , it was just a young guy that didn’t look older than 25.

Was he really not as bad as the others or was he just convincing himself of that to make himself feel morally above them?

You remembered what Mina had said to you, how their life circumstances made them take such a horrid path but you didn’t feel any sympathy. You couldn’t feel a thing for them after what they had put you and dozens of other girls through.

“When she misbehaves, I’m not above much of anything.” He replies after some uncomfortable silence.

“Not even hitting?” You set the plate down on the table.

Jungkook’s eyes darken and you know you have said the wrong thing.

“I don’t hit women.” He makes it clear to you for the second time today through gritted teeth. “But there’s far worse things than physical pain so don’t get smart with me .”

His threat is loud and clear, jaw clenching as he raises an eyebrow in challenge and you sink back into the couch, not feeling like pissing him off even more than you already had.

“I need you ready in an hour, you have a cam show to perform.”

You feel like someone has punched you in the gut.

For whatever reason, your mind had completely forgotten the very reason you were here. You stiffened instantly as your familiar fight or flight instincts kicked in and flashbacks of that horrible sex room crossed your mind. The naked women, the masked men and the nauseating scenes made you recoil.

That was going to be you.

The first day had just been a trial, a glimpse of what was to come and what you had to ease yourself into. They were going to make you an official cam girl, you were meant to do god knows what for men in front of those cameras and the worst part was you didn’t even know how many there would be. You didn’t know how anything worked, what they would demand you to do and who you were going to have to pleasure.

“No,” You whisper, shaking your head from side to side.

“No, I can’t.” You tell Jungkook, your eyes widening in terror. “You can’t make me do that.”

He stared at you, eyes tracing over your face.

“But I can.” He states coldly. “What made you think you’re exempt from what every other girl here is brought to do?”

You grip the cushion beneath you as you feel your entire body start to shake.

“Please,” You swallow your pride and it kills you more than you’re willing to admit. “Don't do this, please.”

You needed to do better than that, you thought to yourself. You needed to survive here like Do-yeon had said.

Play into his game. Into his wants.

Lifting yourself off the sofa, you get to your knees and crawl over to where Jungkook sat. He looks mildly surprised by your action, his eyebrows lifting up as you grip the fabric of his jeans. You’re completely at his mercy as you continue to beg, your tears quickly stain his clothes as you lay your head on his lap.

“Please, please.” You plead him, clenching your teeth so hard that you’re surprised your jaw is still intact. “ I’ll behave , just don’t make me do that.”

“I won’t talk back I swear, I’ll be fucking mute if you want.” A sob leaves your lips, even in this state you can’t help the anger that managed to seep into your words. You’re so angry, so angry you didn’t get to escape.

If you hadn’t gotten in that damn van, you probably wouldn’t have had to ever see this psychopath again.

You feel his hand on your head, his fingers tangled through your hair and then you feel a sudden harsh yank. He forces your head up and you let out a whimper at the harshness of his grip, your skull stinging.

You meet his gaze through your blurry vision that is filled with tears.

“I can’t believe it,” His eyes are empty but his lips twitch into a smirk as he angles your head up higher.

“Even in this state, I can see how much you’re seething.” You let out a shaky breath at his words, he was reading right through you.

“It’s killing you to beg me isn’t it, princess?” He cooes at you as he further twists your hair.

You yelp again.

“Lucky for you, I’ve grown weak at the sight of you on your knees for me.”

You were tempted to spit at him.

He seems to read your thoughts because he gives you a wicked grin.

“Fine,” He drawls, “ I won’t make you perform for others.”

The pressure on your chest lifts slightly as you eagerly await his next words.

“Don’t look so overjoyed, everything comes with a cost here.” He’s quick to ruin your hopes. The pressure returns, crushing your chest completely.

“You won’t have to see that horrible room again but only if you perform for me only.” He says slowly, his eyes dancing around behind you. “Right in this room, you’ll get to be my own personal little doll for thousands of others online to see.”

“And I want you willing. So very willing to do everything they request us to do.”

“Request?” You gulp, feeling your knees wobble even while being planted onto the ground.

He nods. “Yes, our audience loves a good show and it’s our job to fulfill them.”

The grip you have on his jeans loosens, you lick your dry lips as his face comes closer, his hair tickling your cheek.

“Do we have a deal, my little princess?”

You remove your hands from him as your body is frozen in place. The pessimistic side of you is convinced that this is what he wanted all along. You can’t help but think he planned this, that he wanted you to be his own little pet and that he’d mask himself as some sort of hero for saving you from having to perform in front of countless other men and women in the most humiliating and degrading ways possible.

Little did he know that it wasn’t much less degrading to give yourself to him.

In fact, you didn’t know if it made a difference at all. What he implied sounded like he was letting you choose between two equally horrible situations, with one being marketed slightly better.

But then Do-yeon’s face enters your mind as a cruel reminder of how foolish you were being. The bruise lifting off her skin was a clear sign of what probably awaited you if landed in worse hands than Jungkook.

“Yes.” You mumble, the word is robotic and it doesn’t even sound like it left your mouth.

You wished it didn’t.

The painful hold on your hair loosened and he finally let go, coming to wipe away the tears on your cheeks with his thumb. You could feel the cold metal of his rings against your skin.

“Good girl.”

—-

The autumn leaves bustled against the tree branches, the gloomy weather certainly set the scene for the tragic events that had occurred. The campus wasn’t large by any means but it surely did seem like it due to it being the only university located in this small town. It wasn’t hard to imagine any young girl getting kidnapped here, especially when the sun went down. The woods that surrounded the building would always raise concerns for locals, it was an easy place to hide a body but Yoongi concluded it may also serve as a distraction.

Of course that was the place authorities had searched first but it was hard to send a search party throughout the entire wooded area. It would take them a while, even with the rescue dogs.

If they there was even anything to come across.

The detective couldn’t shake the feeling that the girl wasn’t buried underneath those grounds. However, there was a lake nearby too so perhaps she was simply underwater instead.

He hated the way his profession had desensitized him completely. Casually wondering about the different ways a girl was likely already dismembered while putting up a hopeful face with her parents never sat right with him. His colleague had parted ways to collect some of the girl’s belongings that could hold some information , her laptop and a poorly working electronic watch apparently.

Her parents had insisted they looked through anything to find something even when he had mentioned there would unlikely be any traces on those.

Yoongi pulled himself off the tree bark he had been standing against when he saw the face he was looking for, he had already spoken to the administration office about the case so he’d only hope not to scare off the boy. The face in the picture that was paper clipped on the files looked identical to the one about to walk right past him.

“Jaehyun?” He spoke as the boy with a heavy looking backup neared him.

The boy immediately took off his earphones and sent him a confused look. He slowed his steps when Yoongi pulled out his badge, swiftly bringing it up in front of him.

“Detective Min Yoongi,” He introduced himself with a weak smile. “ I was just wondering if I could ask you some questions regarding one of your classmates, Y/n.”

Jaehyun’s mouth formed an ‘o’ shape as he slowly nodded.

“Oh shit, yeah I heard about her going missing.” He replied as they both walked off to the side, letting other groups of students continue to walk past them.

“Do you know anything about what happened?” The boy asked with hesitation. “ I mean, I don’t know if you’re allowed to say anything. Sorry.”

News traveled fast in a small town so it was no surprise he had already found out. Yoongi assumed most of her classmates were already gossiping about what could’ve occurred and raising their concerns on social media.

“Well actually, I wanted to know if you had seen her before she disappeared. Maybe anything regarding her behavior here at school, anything that may have raised concern?” The detective explained casually, he knew he couldn’t pressure the boy to say anything. He wasn’t a suspect and he only hoped he could get a little ounce of information that could lead to something.

Regardless if he personally suspected him or not, he couldn’t show it.

Jaehyun scratched the back of his head, frowning slightly.

“Honestly no, I wasn’t that close to her. I just used to see her at parties and in class.” He replies with a shrug. “ I never noticed anything weird but then again I probably wasn’t paying much attention.”

There was an undeniable trace of guilt in his tone. The boy appeared to be sincere and while Yoongi had been around long enough to know he should doubt every display of emotion, no matter how genuine it seemed, he couldn’t help but believe him in that moment.

“You guys never had an intimate relationship?” Yoongi asked, partly expecting the boy to shut him down completely since he wasn’t exactly required to answer such a personal question. Especially with no lawyer present. It was a risky shot.

Jaehyun looked slightly taken aback, raising his eyebrows as an awkward laugh left him.

“I mean, no.” He explained, shaking his head. “ She was cute and all but we never hooked up.”

“Right.” Yoongi nodded, seemingly accepting his answer.

It was the answer he was expecting after all. The friend Mina had stated she hadn’t been aware of any intimate relationship. Just a crush. The detective couldn’t help but feel a little defeated with another possibility being so quickly shut down.

“Uh, well thank you for your time.” He said with a sigh, his eyes drifting ahead. “Do you happen to know anyone else she was particularly close with?”

Jaehyun bit his lip, deep in thought.

“I mainly saw her around with Mina.”

The detective looked back at him, his stare blank despite the the thoughts burning inside his head.

“Oh! I would also see her hang out with this other girl sometimes.” He blurted, knitting his eyebrows. “ But I honestly don’t remember her name, she also attends school here though.”

The boy gave a sheepish smile and Yoongi waved him off.

“It’s fine, I can figure it out. Is it okay if I give you my card? Just in case you remember anything that might help us?”

“Sure thing,” Jaehyun nods as the detective hands him over the card.

The boy glanced down at it before giving one last apologetic look and turning to leave . “ I’ll contact you if anything comes up.”

Yoongi watches the boy walk away, his figure slowly disappearing into the distance and he’s soon left alone to dwell on his million theories again. His fingers go to take out a cigarette from his back pocket as he makes his way through the campus grounds and towards the parking lot. His phone vibrates just as he’s in the middle of lightning his cigarette and he hastily shoves the lighter away.

Namjoon’s name flashes on his screen and he presses it against his ear as he takes a blow.

“Hey, listen the classmate didn’t tell me much that will help us but-“

“We need to bring Jeong Jaehyun in for questioning and we need a search warrant for him ASAP .” His partner’s voice rang through his ear.

Yoongi froze, the smoke leaving his full lips.

“What?” He turns, looking behind him towards the direction the boy had left in.

“That classmate the friend mentioned , I found some messages on the girl’s laptop that say they planned to meet up the day she went missing. The times add up too .” Namjoon speaks with urgency, clear shuffling in the background and the sound of a car engine soon blared through.

Yoongi ends the call abruptly, swinging open his car door and all he could think about as he drove out the campus driveway was how his intuition never did seem to fail him.

The boy had just blatantly lied to his face.

“Shit.”

—

[headspace-hotel]

I feel like whenever there’s a post talking about, like, autistic people doing boundary-violating behavior or otherwise Icky Stuff, there’s loads of reblogs like “well I’m autistic and *I* know that’s bad to do” implying that, like…the behavior is either unconnected to being autistic or that a Real Autistic person wouldn’t do that.

But look. In middle and high school I had a couple of very, very unhealthy, obsessive… “crushes” or fixations on people that led me to do all sorts of uncomfortable and boundary-crossing things, and in hindsight I feel awful about because I realize how uncomfortable I probably made those people feel.

And it was 100% connected to me Being Autistic, and it doesn’t help me to pretend that it wasn’t, because my brain was just very, very prone to doing the obsession thing. I feel like it’s almost like an awkward secret we don’t talk about, but you absolutely can have a “special interest” in a PERSON.

It was not healthy. At all. I was miserable and the people I was fixating on were surely not having a great time either.

I’ve felt…awful about it, for a long time, because it’s pretty difficult to talk about your autism being connected to something you did that was Objectively Shitty, and it WAS Objectively Shitty. 100%. And at least on tumblr, people will want to be like “no your autism didn’t make you do Bad Thing, you just chose to be bad and are blaming your autism.”

But what actually went wrong?

The first thing is that I did not understand what was happening in a way that let be like “hey, maybe this is hurting me and hurting the other person.” I went into this miserable obsessive spiral centered on a person and thought “oh, this is what a crush is like” and everything I saw validated me.

I was told by the world around me and my peers that “crushes” were just Like This, that being fixated on someone to that extent and making it their problem was normal, that going into intense periods of depression over the actions of someone I barely knew was normal, because…that was how I saw romantic love portrayed.

The second thing was that social norms around this kind of thing rely so heavily on you being to “pick up on” others’ feelings and intentions toward you and being able to “take a hint,” so to speak, or pick up on “signs” that a person is into you.

I think we all have heard anecdotes about some Weird Guy that keeps persisting in trying to be friendly with a girl he obviously likes, even though she is showing obvious discomfort and disinterest. It’s still not as much of a norm as it should be to just outright say, “hey, I don’t know if you want to be friends or have romantic feelings for me, and so I thought it was a good idea to let you know that I’m not into you romantically.”

Like there’s definitely a sense where it’s implied that only someone who is a Total Creep would fail to “take the hint.” But it’s still a hint, and if you are a person who has spent your entire life trying to adjust to very unintuitive, ambiguous “social rules,” it won’t necessarily feel intuitive to back off when someone is “hinting” that you’re not wanted.

And also adults are just so willing to excuse or ignore boundary-violating behavior when they see it in kids. And it’s kind of the same thing: there’s this assumption that if they don’t just “figure out” how to treat people once they become older, without being told, they are just…creepy anyway?

Like “no means no” but also if you need to be given a No to understand that you’re expected to back off, you’re a creep.

I wish I had been given a more consent-based framework. I don’t mean sexual consent, I mean that in a general way.

Like, as an autistic child, you learn that you can’t walk up to someone and be like “Hi. I see that you like to play with dinosaurs. I also like to play with dinosaurs. Do you want to be my friend?” At least you can’t do that past, like, 10 or 11 years old. You have to learn to ✨play the game✨ of Figuring Out whether you are wanted or not wanted, because people won’t tell you if they like you or not.

It really is all entirely based on the central truth that people will not be honest with you about whether they want you. And i know we can’t make everything straightforward and unambiguous but instead of teaching young people to communicate with one another, we teach autistic people to play even more bizarre levels of 5D chess

I also just wish I hadnt had to internalize the idea of “crushes” as being this universal and unstoppable thing that everyone experiences, or romantic interactions as Fundamentally Different from other ones.

like there’s aromanticism and Demisexuality and all sorts of things, and people get really pissy about those ones because theyre, idk, too attached to the idea that love, romance and sexuality are…a strict binary of either fully understood and represented by “society” or completely “othered” and marginalized, I guess?

but there is a wide, wide amount of diversity in the way people experience “romantic” feelings and just the way they parse and divide up and process their different relational needs. And it hurts everyone to act like one thing is universal and “normal.” Not everyone gets crushes, and honestly it’s up to you how you think about your own emotions?

Like I remember it being such a distressing experience, to feel unable to do anything about my feelings for someone, because I had a Crush and crushes are supposed to be this uncontrollable thing. I don’t think it would have gotten to the point of unhealthy obsession if I hadn’t been like “this is normal and there’s nothing I can do to stop it.”

[animeyanderelover]

Hello (●’◡’●)ﾉ 🌷Can you do the same with these characters?

Chrollo , Hisoka, Illumi , Pakunoda , Uvogin , Phinks , nobunaga , machi , Kurapika

Credits to my friend who helped me a bit with this request. She’s always ready to give her own opinion to requests where she knows the characters and she’s so sweet for that🥺.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessiveness, obsessiveness, delusions, manipulation, sabotage, paranoia, stalking, clinginess, gaslighting, isolation, mentions of kidnapping, death

Meeting Childhood friend/crush again

Illumi Zoldyck

🤎The thought that you saw him as a friend never occured to him when he met you years back on one of his missions nor was he interested back then. So it was most likely due to your own stubbornness that he somehow ended up spending time with you, though initially only because he thought you might be useful somehow. Illumi does not know when exactly he got attached, but at one point he just got. His darling was after all the first person that ever managed to become that interesting and fascinating for him, different from anything he had seen throughout his young life. But he was back then just too inexperienced and didn't possess enough understanding of his emotions for them so he left soon, having stayed longer than intended and planned.

🤎Years passed by with him still thinking about you every once in a while and by now it had gotten kind of irritating for Illumi who still wasn't able to place your value for him. Shouldn't he have forgotten you by now? Still doing his work and trying to get over you, fate seemed to just make it happen for you two to meet the same way like the first time. And Illumi actually instantly realized you, having memorized your face and the smaller quirks and things you'd told him so long ago. The man just stopped briefly, staring at you with a drilling look, feelings he had held all those years suddenly awakening even stronger than before by suddenly seeing you. A short stop turned into a longer one, something inside of him leading him to following you before remembering why he travelled here in the first place.

🤎But even after finishing his mission, Illumi is not able to leave again since you haven't even realized that he's here yet. Maybe at first he's just thinking that he'll stay long enough until he's figured out why he feels this surge of warmth when watching you, to just see how you have done all this time. But watching you makes him wonder if you even remember him and would feel the same warmth when looking at him. He'd actually like that. Days turn quickly into weeks where he only falls deeper into his obsession, sucking in every single thing he finds out about you. His s/o is still such a fragile and gorgeous little thing, surrounded by all sorts of people who talk, laugh and touch them. A sight that Illumi learns to loathe more and more with time. He seems to yearn more and more for introducing himself again to you and taking you with him.

🤎And that is just exactly what happens in the end, he kidnaps you. His darling was his first love, he's sure about it now. And they'll be his only love as well. The Zoldyck actually expects from his darling to remember him because otherwise things would get awkward. Somewhat hopes that they feel the same for him as well, though it has been years and they've probably been brainwashed by now from all those other persons around them. But with time they'll have to feel the same for him as he for them. After all childhood friends to lovers is called romantic, isn't it?

Kurapika Kurta

⛓️Looking on how the Kurta clan was not too fond of interacting with other people, chances are strong that his darling was a Kurta as well. A really charming one in Kurapika's eyes and he definitely happened to have a huge crush on them, though he kind of tried to hide it initially. With time it still became obvious to others from the clan and due to that him and his darling were kind of cooed over, you two were childhood sweethearts. He was always more on the protective side, even back then even if it was not as bad as it would be in the future. Promised to you shortly before he left to see the world outside his clan that he would come back to you as soon as possible and I strangely see him as the type who would make a marriage promise to his darling. Guess he was just always a bit more possessive.

⛓️The news shortly after he had left destroyed him, he had just lost his entire clan. He mourned heavily, swearing revenge to those who had taken anything away from him. Memories of the people Kurapika loved and that were no longer flooded his mind tormentingly often, memories from you as well. It was just such a coincidence, one Kurapika would describe as destiny later on when he met you. At first he thought he was hallucinating, it probably isn't the first time he mistook a person for someone due to certain similarities. It was only after he had managed to take a full look on you that increased his heartbeat even more. But only after he called with a quiet and trembling voice out your name and saw your shocked, happy and surprised reaction was he completely sure.

⛓️And the first thing he did was dragging you somewhere without people where he bursted out in tears and gave you a long and bone-crushing and protective hug. Kurapika just flipped out after finding out that you somehow managed to survive and were searching for him those last few years after barely escaping. And he needs hours until he has calmed somewhat down, rambling in pure paranoia that he has to get you away from here before the troupe finds you or someone else who would want to take your eyes. Be assured that he does not stray away from his darling's side after though, he stays with them, follows them everywhere they go and reacts insanely overprotective and paranoid as soon as he feels like someone is looking wrongly at them. Kurapika just downright clings on to you in utter despair and overwhelming desire to keep you safe.

⛓️Completely convinced that this must have been fate for you to survive and find him again, he takes it as his job to protect you this time. And his darling from all people should understand him best, though they have it worse than him. Because they were directly there, witnessed all the violence and screams. Something over which Kurapika grows to be very smothering in attempts to soothe them from their nightmares and fear. He feels like it is completely justified that he abducts his darling, they're the only one he has left after all. The thought of losing you as well after he already believed once that you're dead makes him just all the more terrified. He will protect you this time.

Hisoka Morow

🃏Being friends with Hisoka must be quite interesting, wouldn’t you agree? Hisoka is just a really strange one who bumped into his darling for not so entirely accidental reasons. He just found them interesting, maybe from previous interactions he’s witnessed or heard about and you two are bound to meet like this more than just once. And even if the s/o were to find him annoying, tell him to get lost or tries to avoid him, the clown was always a sly piece of shit so avoiding him is impossible. Believe it or not, Hisoka was the one who refused to back off, remaining persistent until his darling eventually gave in. It’s not like he was a good friend, he sometimes didn’t show up when you were supposed to meet and disappeared for a while before coming back and teasing you for being upset and sad before somewhat consoling you.

🃏Hisoka pretty much vanished one day like Illumi did, only that he never returned a day after like he used to do. That was when it hit you that he might never come back and you decided to live with it. Hisoka somehow did the same, though those memories of him and you were more treasured than others would ever know. The clown had gotten attached after all and sometimes wondered what you might be doing now with your life. Imagine his pleasant surprise when he first saw you somewhere in a city again. Still a mischievous creature, he sneaked from behind you and ended up scaring you which earned him nearly a slap in the face. How unfortunate that didn’t happen.

🃏Was he hurt when his s/o just left, trying to ignore him and act like they didn’t even know him? A bit, but he saw mostly a good excuse to why exactly he would become a pain in the ass for you from now on, you two had a lot to catch up after all. That’s how a very exhausting time for you started with him popping just anywhere up when he felt like it, trailing behind you and screwing a bit with you like he used to do. The nostalgia he felt…wonderful. It isn’t like the clown doesn’t know that he has feelings for his darling, he just does not fully know how to express them, especially when pushing his darling a bit is so entertaining. It doesn’t mean that times with him are always bad, sometimes he feels like he has to make up when going too far, doing magic tricks or doing something his darling wants to do without ruining the moment.

🃏Chilling with his s/o is sometimes just really nice for him, sharing what has happened those last few years. Well, it’s more like you sharing informations, Hisoka’s answers are more vague. Hisoka actually might have an easier time sorting his emotions through a less sadistic way out, though it is still there. But he shares a more intimate bond with his darling and they can handle him better, though his more perverted aspects are hopefully new. Hisoka wouldn’t resort to kidnapping since he prefers things the way they are, though a temporary isolation might be happening if you were to avoid him for too long where he loses his patience or were to like someone else. Just because he hangs around everyone he wants too doesn’t mean he allows you necessarily the same luxury.

Chrollo Lucilfer

📖Chrollo grew up in Meteor City and that’s where he picked up his darling as well, though back then he was not the same manipulative and possessive Yandere as he is now. But he had a lot of signs already, his already shown possessiveness where he preferred you with him and no one else, his manipulations in form of sugarcoating things and telling you lies about others and his charms with which he lured you in. This man presented himself already as a gentleman and he was from a very young age on sure that he wanted his darling to be his later on. Why he didn’t take you with him when he formed the Phantom Troupe is a mystery, maybe he planned on getting you later on after he had gotten stronger and learned more.

📖But you weren’t there when he came back, an unexpected and extremely unpleasant turn of events. The leader of the spiders was certainly not happy, but he handled it calmly and logically, searching in the towns and villages nearest to his old home where you might have decided to live or take a rest, taking informations steadily. Every day that was not spent with stealing things was spent with searching for you. He had declared you as his darling spider before you had even known. So when he one day was in the next city disguised and following some leads he had recently collected, he was extremely delighted when he passed by a store only to see you inside. And he wastes little to no time in stepping inside, tapping you on your shoulder and meeting you with a smile.

📖There is frustration that it took him so long to find you, but you don’t have to find that out just yet. Nor that your old friend here is by now the leader of a famous organization of criminals who have killed already many people. Chrollo takes it right upon him to continue where he stopped the last time where he met you. Pulling you once again back to his side via charming sabotage. His darling should be ready for him inviting them shortly after over to a expensive and fine restaurant where he literally dotes on them and spoils them with presents and things that will be to their taste, all stolen from others. It is in his utmost interest to catch up with you, he has already worked on a background story for now and knows a good chunk of yours, but sitting here and talking with you brings so much old and sweet feelings back. Emotions only you can make him feel.

📖With the way his feelings only intensify after meeting the s/o again, there will be a time where he will take them with him. But this might be actually a few months depending on how well it works, he would love to have them falling in love with him naturally. The imagination is just very sweet to him. Other admirers or your own love interests will be quickly removed, the whole Troupe helps with that. And to be honest, some might even know you from the past and be curious about you and what you’ve been doing. But it’s all up to Chrollo whether he’ll let them know or keep such knowledge for himself like it should be in regards of his darling since he’s the only one who should know them and their secrets.

Phinks Magcub

👊Growing up in Meteor City as well, Phinks grew to be someone to look after his darling during their childhood. Living in those junkyard is not easy and since the s/o was someone precious to him, he wanted to guarantee their survival, maybe even a bit more than his own. It must be obvious to his darling that he had a crush on them back then, Phinks just was exceptionally bad in hiding this. Whether it was him getting a bit red when he was being complimented or him shouting at someone when he got jealous, there were lots of signs. And similar to Chrollo for Phinks it was obvious that he wanted his darling to be his one and only love. That was until he joined the Phantom Troupe and had to leave them behind with a heavy heart, knowing that it would be best to not involve them into such dangers for now.

👊But he still swore to come back at one point and give them a better life, not only for their own good but for his own selfish desires as well. And he got his heart a bit broken when he returned one day only to find out that you had left on your own, though he couldn’t blame you for wanting to leave. Staying loyal to Chrollo yet wanting to find you was how he spent the following years. Whenever the Troupe was not assembled, he tried to somehow get his hands on informations and if it really seems hopeless he would be ready to ask Shalnark or someone he knows will do good for help. Under that assumption it might just be the innocent-looking blonde who tracked Phink’s darling down and for that Phinks owes Shalnark. But it’s worth it, seeing his darling’s happy face when seeing him and rambling about how much they’ve missed him is worth it.

👊Phinks is probably just on the borderline of being overwhelmed after so many years and he instantly makes up multiple meetups to catch up on anything with you. Obviously he does not plan on telling the darling about what he is doing right now and in general he somehow pushes you in a situation where you tell more about yourself. He makes himself look more boring so he gets to hear your achievements of which he is proud. Getting out of that place is not really easy and yet you did it. People like Shalnark and Feitan end up teasing him a lot when they catch him daydreaming about his darling whilst people like Nobunaga and Pakunoda are more supportive. Chrollo probably doesn’t care as long as you do not possess a threat.

👊Phinks definitely proceeds to court you a while after you two have gotten close again after all those years of not seeing each other. And you might just catch on to his feelings again which haven’t changed a bit. Different from the people before him he also wouldn’t be really happy with the thought of kidnapping his darling. It’s just extremely delightful to be so normal again and having fun with them and he would hate to see them disappointed or sad due to what he’s done all those last years. For the most part he actually isn’t even all that suspicious, the only exception being his impulsive and violent nature towards others.

Pakunoda

💘Pakunoda took almost a sort of mother role back then, looking out for her darling, consoling them when they were crying over this unfair life and how they were not even alive towards other people and guaranteeing their health. That was the kind of person and friend Pakunoda was for her darling and will always be. That does not mean that she was someone to coddle you whenever something went wrong, she had this certain strictness on her that she showed on occasions where her darling did something that was indeed their very own fault. Her darling was back then the only person Pakunoda really cared about and for that she dedicated her time to them and them only until she was confronted by Chrollo and joined the Phantom Troupe. And Paku really is one of the last persons who would want to drag you into dangers due to her.

💘It was still very hard to leave you after a very bittersweet goodbye behind and I can imagine her spending some of the money she earned throughout working for the Troupe to help you with your life in Meteor City with the final goal of getting you out of there. And even if she never had much contact with you, you just knew from whom those small donations throughout the time were until you had enough to start your own life. So the first thing you had to probably do was thanking a very surprised yet extremely happy Pakunoda about a thousand times when you met her one day whilst taking a walk through your new hometown. Pakunoda herself greeted you with a warm and tight hug, almost a bit too overwhelmed by this surprise.

💘Different from some of her fellow members Pakunoda only kept a certain eye on you, not wanting to get you into troubles and massacre she has went through already. But she certainly won't miss an opportunity to catch up a bit with you without wanting to use her Nen-ability. She wants to hear it all from you, loving how excited you are when telling her about your new life, the job and the new people you've met all thanks to her. Paku ends up spending all the time she has with you, sleeping over in your house since you let her do so, letting you choose all the activities and cool things you want to show her and do with her all whilst having a good time as well. Doesn't matter if it's a small thing like buying a book together with you or being in a small shop and drinking tea or coffee.

💘And seeing how happy and proud her darling is with what they've made of their once so hard life makes her all the more determined to keep it that way. Pakunoda is a really caring person for her darling and their happiness and well-being are her top priorities so letting them find out the truth and being pushed in a difficult position from her leader is something she wants to avoid. Telling her darling lies is not pretty, but it is for their greater good and it's probably better and less painful for her s/o to never find out. As shameful as she finds it to be, she might use her Nen ability sometimes on you to see if you have caught on anything suspicious.

Machi Komacine

🪡Machi is a rather rude friend to have since the circumstances are harsh, but it's exactly that what will keep her darling good company and help them through life. Different from Pakunoda, Machi does not appear to be quite as soft with her darling. She scolds them whenever they blame someone or something for their own dumb faults and if they happen to cry over small things she will not be someone to be very comforting. You could say that she is on the tough side, but she is still extremely loyal to her darling and even if it's through their own fault she will nurse wounds and cuts as good as she can. Of course she does not possess her abilities yet, but she does her best. And even if the sudden disappearance of hers might look selfish to you, only a short letter left from her, it's actually quite selfless.

🪡Because Machi knows it would be so hard for her to leave if she were to say goodbye and the life of murdering, stealing and darkness she has chosen now isn't something she wants you in. You might die and that is a big fear of hers. But she actuall chooses a similar road as Pakunoda does. She still cares too much to do nothing and so she decides to donate a bit every once in a while so you hopefully make good use of that money and free your way out of that junkyard. Her reaction when she meets her friend again is actually a bit funny since she ends up being dumbfounded, she did not expect to meet her old friend on this day in this place. And there is a chance that she might try to somewhat ignore you or flee, knowing that it'll be difficult to leave you alone for your own safety if she were to get too involved. But in the end she is not able to resist after you've ended up dragging her with you.

🪡Do still expect her to be closemouthed if you were to ask her what she has been doing, Machi has still been smart enough to think quickly of a brief story in which you can believe. The pink-haired woman actually still wonders whether she should leave after this one meeting before she finds herself coming back again and again, the risks of someone finding out about her or you yourself discovering her bloody past still too fresh in her mind. But throughout this entire day she is reminded all too much to why she actually had a crush on you all those years back, a silly and dumb crush which seems to wake up once again when she is with you. Feelings that complicate everything so much for her. Machi turns out to be more iffy than thought, but once she has calmly thought this through she believes it to be no danger if she is careful.

🪡Still loyal to the Phantom Troupe, Machi starts creating frequently more and more time for you in between her schedules. She is not the type to want to do very fancy things and get too much attention. Small walks through forests or parks, spending time in an ice cream parlor and enjoying something sweet are more the kind of things she prefers. She's as sharp as ever with her tongue, but it's nothing new to her darling and so Machi can feel comfortable enough to know that she won't end up hurting them with her words. At one point she attempts to teach her darling how to sew, sighing every time they prick themselves. But despite everything she's glad that she met you again, hoping that this will stay as it is.

Uvogin

🫀Being a pure brute might have been always part of his nature and is for that something his darling was confronted with from a very young age, though he never hurt them. More everyone he viewed as a threat to his s/o since surviving in a junkyard is not exactly very easy and trusting someone isn't either. Especially if his darling is not the type to really use violence and be too nice to really hurt someone else or steal something in order to survive, Uvogin sees the need to do so. Similar to Phinks he is for a big part ready to skip on a chunk of his food or his comfort as long as it guarantees that his darling is fit. This guy stole from others back then if it was needed and whether you were happy with that or not stands up to question, but he did it for you. He was very protective and attached already so Chrollo needed some convincing until he agreed to join.

🫀Had almost some sort of mood swings during his time in the Phantom Troupe when he missed his darling and hoped that they were doing fine and you bet that he at one point travelled back to Meteor City to come and find you. Only to find out that apparently you had managed to contact someone who was ready to enable you to live a normal life. His reaction to that was a violent confusion. On the one hand he was somewhat happy to hear that now you might have a safe and good life. But he also felt so betrayed that ou hadn't even left any clue back to where you were, not considering that he has your old friend might want to know about your whereabouts. Leading him to asking Shalnark for some help and soon after a surprised and yet joyful reunion.

🫀And whilst others might literally be scared for the darling when Uvogin is with them, his height and muscles are something his darling is used too, though seeing him after years again might shock them for a short moment. It's actually a bit embarrassing at first since Uvogin is extremely excited to say the least and even if he is careful to not hurt his darling, he might have just lifted them off the ground in his arms. In public. His darling probably took him somewhere secure and quiet or to their house since he just sticks out in a crowd and some people were staring. Doesn't even want to talk about some lies he has to come up with, after so long not having seen the s/o he really is only interested in them and their life. In a way it is fluttering.

🫀Uvogin keeps trust in his darling and this is why he does not see the need to kidnap them. It's of course also because the thought makes him extremely uncomfortable, he would feel guilty for it. Uvogin ends up spoiling his darling quite a bit as well as some sort of excuse for his absence and to show his romantic interest in them as well. A brief warning beforehand, he can be a very touchy man if he wants to be and since he probably was that way already as a child, chances are he ends up doing such things with his s/o even if they're not in a relationship yet.

Nobunaga

🗡Nobunaga bears similarities to Pakunoda. He as well is on a really nurturing and caring side and that made him a pleasant and comforting person to be with. He obviously has his stern moments out of protective reasons as well, but for his darling he is a very empathetic person whose ready to offer his shoulder to cry on when they’re upset about something. Nobunaga over time Just somewhat developed the habit of constantly having to look after his darling to the point where he grew a bit uneasy when they left without him, though he was never someone to stop them from growing more independent and learning to take care of themself. He’ll never stop to protect them of course, but knowing that they’re able to fight on their own is good to ease his worries a bit.

🗡Felt beyond bad when he had to leave in order to join Chrollo and saying his farewell to his darling was even harder. For them it was rather conflicting as well because leaving Meteor City was not bad, but leaving them behind was, especially since he didn’t want them to join. Nor really tell them what he would do now. But in the end both of you parted peacefully, ending up promising to see each other one day again. This promise stayed in Nobunaga’s mind, a way to comfort himself a little bit since he felt a bit lonely without you. Your laugh, your smile, all the cute and embarrassing habits of you and all the memories which he treated with fondness. Information got to him at one point that you as well had started a new life somewhere else and whilst he was wishing the best for you, he also hoped that you wouldn’t forget the promise.

🗡Originally he had really only planned on meeting you one last time before focusing on his work again, not daring to risk you in any sorts of massacre and bloody fights due to him being a Phantom Troupe member. But even with his strong mentality it was hard to accept that this one meeting with you, able due to him spying a bit, was supposed to be the last one. His darling had grown into a beautiful person with still the same charms as back then, nearly over the moon to see him again. Luckily they had remembered the promise, inviting him over to their house to enjoy a meal together. Only one day that had nearly all of his determination melt away due to their lovely presence next to him. Nobunaga ends up pondering over this situation and what his next step will be.

🗡To guarantee your security, he plans a lot before he feels like it will be fine to still spend time with you, time where he almost forgets that he is not who you think he is. Personally feel like Nobunaga is actually the only one from the Phantom Troupe who would want a normal relationship and at the same time tell them at one point who he is and what he does. Especially lying to the person he loves and has known since a young age is nearly unbearable, though he would wait until he feels like the time is right.

[totallyawr1t3r]

Can I please get a kind of pt 2 to my maid reader request that kinda goes with my fanart, so let’s say reader is terrified of Pepa when she realizes the depths of her obsessive feelings and constantly tries to run away and Pepa has to tie her up and cuddle her constantly to get her to calm down (and also to calm herself from making a big storm) and reassure Reader who is just generally openly scared of her.

Yandere Pepa with Maid Reader Pt.2:

Sorry if it's kinda shit- It hasn't been edited and I'm tired-

If only you hadn't been too stupid to see the signs. If only you had minded your own business like your mother always said. If only you had stayed away from her, you would've been free. But no, you were stupid and blind.

You couldn't stop yourself from shaking uncontrollably as she held you tight. Compared to you, she was practically glowing with a rainbow over her head, completely ignoring your muffled sobs.

And you didn't want multiple death's on your hands, right?

You were just trying to help! All you wanted was to help a grieving woman move on from her husband's death but that was your downfall.

"Shhhh, Mi amor." Pepa whispered into your ear, trying to sooth your pathetic sobs. She cradled you in her arms, rocking you back and forth. This became a normal thing between the two of you, whether Pepa chose to ignore how obviously scared you were of her or just simply didn't know [which you doubted, she wasn't dumb].

After your tears finally came to a stop, Pepa gently grabbed your chin, forcing you to look at her. She wore that same friendly smile that led you into this hellscape, sending shivers down your spine. "I promise I'm not going to hurt you in any way." Despite all your attempts to escape, she always spoke so gently towards you. "So I don't understand why you want to leave me so bad." 

That stupid clothing covering your mouth stopped you from answering. Pepa sighed, laying her forehead on yours, ignoring how you started to shake again. 

The both of you sat in silence after that, Pepa waiting for you to have somewhat calmed down before she pulled away from you. That had filled you with some sort of relief.

You were now painfully aware of how unhealthy Pepa's feelings were towards you, and how her family completely enabled her behavior. They were the main reason you couldn't leave. They lived by 'If Pepa is happy, then everything is okay!' They just couldn't see her in pain again. So, if you made her happy, you were gonna stay right by her.

You stood next to Pepa, refusing to look anywhere else besides the floor as the family chatted away with each other. Casita wasn't exactly your friend either. Always teasing you with the thought you could escape and crushing all hope later on. You stuck your tongue out as Casita's floor tiles clicked in response. A house was mocking you and it made you feel like shit. 

"[Y/n]!" Pepa's voice made you whip your head over to her. 

"Huh?"

She grabbed your hands, as she gave you a lovesick smile. Your heart completely stopped as she slowly got onto one knee. You could feel everyone's eyes on the two of you, and it made your skin crawl. You didn't like how they watched your every move. 

"Will you marry me?" Pepa asked, but everyone knew you didn't have a choice. It was hard to breathe suddenly as you stared down at her. You didn't wanna marry her, you didn't wanna be anywhere near her or her crazy family. 

You opened your mouth to say no, but you heard a low growl from behind you.

Ok, maybe you didn't wanna stay with her but it was only slightly better then dying from a wild animal. 

So, pushing back whatever you felt, you slowly nodded. You stumbled back a bit as she leaped onto you, another stupid rainbow over her head as the rest of the family clapped. Pepa rested her head in between your neck, you could feel her smile grow as she said, "Te amo." 

You couldn't say it back though, but she was completely fine with that. Just because you were scared of her now, you'll learn to love her even if she had to wait forever for you to say it back.

[lesbianmarrow]

my vision for star trek voyager dyke drama is that b’elanna is a lesbian and swiftly develops a crush on janeway and janeway is also a lesbian but totally oblivious to b’elanna’s feelings and only sees her as a friend anyway. and b’elanna is like convinced that she has a shot at being with janeway if she just bides her time and waits for the right moment and kim is like b’elanna that’s ridiculous and you’re insane but she believes it anyway. so she’s always like tentatively making moves toward janeway and gauging her reaction and janeway is just not picking up on any of this at all. 

enter seven of nine. when seven joins the ship b’elanna sees that she and janeway are spending an awful lot of time together and b’elanna is positively seething with rage and jealousy. she’s convinced that seven is up to no good and probably means to seduce janeway only to murder and/or assimilate her. she rants to kim like ohhhh seven thinks shes so clever and sexy well shes not stealing MY captain from me! just you wait and see! and kim is like uh i think seven is just trying to get used to being human and janeway is helping her thats all. also it sounds like you might have some sort of unhealthy sexual fascination with seven. and b’elanna is like NO i’m RIGHT. and so b’elanna goes around trying to prove that seven is up to no good which just results in seven getting confused and janeway getting annoyed and b’elanna getting extremely frustrated.

eventually b’elanna chills out a bit and realizes that seven isn’t so bad and that they have much more in common that she originally thought. she finally accepts that janeway doesn’t love her back in that way and lets go of her crush. she also realizes holy shit seven needs a friend, she’s all alone like i was, and tries to be a good supportive friend to seven. eventually they fall in love and it’s initially a bit difficult for seven to understand love, to realize what she’s feeling is love and then to decide how to proceed from there, but they figure out out and become girlfriends. b7 forever.

as for janeway well i haven’t gotten to season 5 yet but i really want her to have a psychosexual obsession & rivalry with ms borg queen. like ummm i haven’t read moby dick but i think borg queen should be janeway’s white whale or whatever the hell. and that’s my vision. 

[behind-xemnas]

Personally, I always believed that the reason Touko developed such intense feelings for Byakuya in such a short amount of time is due to Genocide Jack.

Genocide Jack states in her FTEs that her feelings for Byakuya are pure love.

„To be honest, this is the first time I've ever had feelings for someone, but not wanted to kill them... […] But Master's something special. It's not about killing or not killing. It's not that physical connection... My feelings are totally pure this time! Yeah! It's pure love! […] I wouldn't even mind not killing any other boys, if it meant I could be with him!“

Personally, for me, this always implied that she has actual romantic feelings for him and not just a crush based on looks and/or money.

The reason I stated this is that it's said in UDG that Touko and Genocide Jack share the feelings they have for other people. (When Nagito forces them to switch hoping Jack would attack Komaru, but she didn't because since Touko saw Komaru as a friend, she did too.)

And in THH it's stated that Jack remembered everything from her time at Hope's Peak: The school days, the tragedy, everything up until the memory wipe. That is the case because she doesn't share her memories with Touko and it were Toukos memories that Junko had taken away.

Touko and Jack both knew Byakuya for two years prior to the game, which is a perfect valid time frame to develop healthy romantic feelings for someone, especially since one year normal school life is also a pretty avarage way to form relationships.

And Jack remembers these two years, she remembers how they all spend time together and they might've started to become friends etc.

For Jack it's never been „Oh hot rich boy, instant crush“ at the start of THH (even though that still could be possible, but it's shown in one of the group photos from that last trial, that she had something going for Byakuya even during the school years), for Jack Byakuya was someone she knows for two years and still acted the way she did.

But what does that mean for Touko? If they share feelings, it would mean that Touko would share Jacks intense love for Byakuya from the very start of THH without remembering WHY she has these feelings, because unlike Jack she doesn't remember the last two years. For Touko it's kinda like love at first sight, she probably just randomly notices these super intense feelings for someone she just met, which of course would lead to some weird unhealthy obsession in the beginning, because she can't even explain her own feelings and why she has them.

Jacks feeling brimming over to Touko without her remembering how she developed these feelings in the first place is probably also the reason why she over steps his boundaries in the beginning so much. She probably has no idea how to handle these feelings, which is totally understandable, I'd say.

On another side of things, in SDR2 it's said that the Future Foundation helped the survivors to recover their lost memories. So during SDR2 and probably also UDG Byakuya and Touko both should remember the two years at Hope's Peak. And what also happened in these games? Their relationship improved.

Byakuya makes a device for Touko so she can force front Jack in case she needs too. Touko becomes more independent in order to help Byakuya out etc. (Also remember that line where Kotoko is like „Oh you mean that guy that looks like he has beautiful nipples?“ and Touko is all like „That has to be Byakuya“ implying she has seen him topless at one point (which isn't such a big deal since Byakuya is a guy, but combined with the „Don't ask why we come together“ - „I wear red lingerie“ it is something))

Furthermore, in DR3 it's shown that they apparently video chat from time to time. When Byakuya calls Touko immediately knows it's him (apart from that a reunion scene was planned but was cut due to time)

And in SDR2 you could even argue that others know that there is something going on between them. Kyokos remark about „Someone is waiting for you to return“, clearly meaning Touko, to encourage Byakuya to go back with them. And we know Kyoko isn't someone who would make such a statement to tease someone (she was the one who said that Byakuya should start to consider other people's feelings and to not treat them lightly, so I doubt she would say something to purposely hurt him, which she would've if Byakuya had actual negative feelings towards Touko.

So, remembering the school years imrpoved their relationship, which is interesting.

[iiraven]

Fool-Proof Plan

Pairing: Erwin x reader

Genre: fluff, comedy, smut, modern AU

Warnings: size kink, masturbation, squirting, fingering in front of a mirror, hair pulling, multiple orgasms, manhandling, degradation, praise, established relationship, slight dumbification, choking/ breath play 

Word count: 4.6K

Synopsis: Erwin’s business trip leads you to realise you’re not as sly as you think you are.

Masterlist

Erwin Smith is a man capable of absolutely everything. He’s an amazing cook, an amazing masseur, an amazing businessman, and, most of all, an amazing husband.

There’s only one small shortcoming to the person you consider to be perfect. And that’s his inability to use any form of technology. Texting is bad enough with him signing his name after every message, but it’s social media that’s your husband’s true sworn enemy. Erwin might only be a few years your senior, but somehow your grandfather can comprehend the concept of Instagram faster than him.

“So, you just take pictures?”

“Yes.”

“And people respond to it?”

“Yes.”

“Alright but why?”

The conversation is nothing new, but you find it incredibly unfortunate knowing how talented he is at photography. If you two ever go someplace Erwin knows he wants to capture, he slings his camera over his neck, leaves his phone at home (“I won’t be taking any calls today”) and makes his merry way out of the house. You often eye the phone left stray on the desk, half-expecting it to chase you out of the house for abandoning it. Sometimes, for good measure, you slip it into your own bag. Just in case.

It’s for this reason that Erwin’s business trip puts you on immediate edge.

“It’ll only be for ten days,” he had said. “Sina Corporations takes their summits really seriously…”

“Ten days?” You repeated and Erwin gave you a soft smile.

“I’ll call you every day.”

It’s not like you have an obsessive attachment to your husband (well, that’s debatable), but breaking the routine of returning home to his warm hugs, listening to his day and then complaining about your own- it’s uncomfortable. 

Erwin himself wasn’t looking forward to being away from you, away from home. Running Survey Corporations Ltd is no easy task; trying to balance the infuriating board and the long hours with his actual life is something only possible because of you. Time spent together is fine diamonds Erwin clutches onto and although he’d tried to reason with himself that it was only ten days, it wasn’t a trip he was looking forward to. He never said it out loud. But he didn’t need to. You can tell by the way Erwin’s lips linger on yours a little longer at the airport, as if to preserve your taste.

“Oi Erwin- hurry up.” Levi tries hard not to glare. But even the raven-haired man knows that being away from you puts Erwin on somewhat of an edge. You’re his rock, there to ground him when everything is chaotic, and a summit surrounded by the richest people in the world is as chaotic as it gets.

Despite it all, Erwin stays true to his promise. He calls you at least twice a day and although you could stay on the phone with him for hours, he’s often rushing between conferences and can only spare minutes of his time. Even when he does have an hour, talking to a disembodied voice (he still can’t figure out how to switch his camera back around) is not the same as having Erwin right beside you. It’s the way he squeezes your thigh when he’s focussing on what you’re saying or when he pulls you towards him so that you can lie on his hard chest which still makes you blush even after years of being together.

Because, yes, you miss his touch the most.

Not even five days in, you find yourself with your hands down your panties and a tall blond man on your mind. You’re soaked just thinking about him. His groans, the way he calls your name, the way he pounds into you as you lose your train of thought. Your fingers try to imitate his- their curve and how easily they find your soft spot- but it just feels uncomfortable. So, then you try rubbing your clit, and there’s temporary pleasure there, but not even close enough to tip you over the edge. Even your pink vibrator doesn’t cut it. You deny the fact that Erwin Smith has made you an incompetent masturbator, but you can’t keep up the lie for long and soon enough you give up.

It’s the next day that your ingenious idea kindles. It’s a fool-proof plan. A small flame that has you rushing to the bathroom for the best possible lighting. Erwin can still put his tongue to use at a distance- after all, it’s his voice you fell in love with first. To discretely push him in the right direction, you send him a few photos of yourself. Nothing too scandalous safe he’s in a meeting, but enough that he’ll gets the hint. Sure, Erwin has a couple of polaroid pictures hidden in his brown leather wallet, but he had shot those himself. You want to be a bit more spontaneous! And, honestly, at this point you’re desperate. You could swear you’re developing withdrawal symptoms: just the other day, you were actually temped to pick up a newspaper. It was terrifying.

This had to work. You can just imagine Erwin calling you, voice deep and gruff as he guides you through the process to make yourself cum as he showers you with praise. You feel giddy, eyes glued to the glowing screen, awaiting his response. Even your pink vibrator is out of the box.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t exactly go the way you had planned.

One hour after sending the photos you receive a panicked text from Hange. In the long paragraph, you understand that your poor husband couldn’t get the photos to load and decided to consult the vice president of his company who, upon simply clicking on them, saw you groping your soapy tits. Had it been anyone other than vice president Hange Zoe, Erwin may have broken his phone and quit right there. Thankfully, he only said, “I see” and then asked her where to find the smiley face Emoji.

“I’m so, so sorry Y/N!” Hange screams through the phone. “I’ll make it up to you, I promise! I could send you a picture of my boobs! I’ll go do it right now! I’m sorry! No- You don’t need to feel embarrassed! I won’t mind!”

“It’s alright Hange.” You laugh nervously. “You don’t need to send me anything, it’s really not that big of a deal.”

The whack Levi lands on her head is so hard you hear it through the phone. “Shut the fuck up four-eyes.”

So here you are now. Three days until Erwin returns, a vibrator you’ve given up on back in its box, and a husband who responds to your nudes with a smiley face.

But then Hange Zoe sends you something much better than a picture of her boobs.

The hotel that the trio were staying at- as most hotels do- has a spa. And if there’s one thing Erwin Smith adores it’s allowing himself to relax in a warm, steamy sauna. You’re not sure how Hange was allowed to join them, or how she was able to get her camera clear of fog, or how she was even able to take the picture without Erwin noticing. But you ask her no questions.

Followed by a winky-face is a picture of Erwin sat in the sauna, head tilted backwards, and eyes shut in the pure image of serenity. His arms are propped up on either side of him accentuating his biceps whilst still allowing a clear view of his sculpted body, the sweat running down his chest and abs, making him almost glisten. He’s completely naked except for the flimsy white towel across his lap which does absolutely nothing to hide his thick dick print. You shudder.

You feel like a teenager again, speechless at the sight of a quasi- naked man. Even though you’ve seen him like this thousands of times, you can’t help but fantasise about being trapped underneath him, hair falling onto his face as he loses himself inside of you. God, maybe you do have an unhealthy obsession. But it doesn’t matter. You feel even more like a teenager as you imagine scenarios of him returning home to recreate the picture before you. And with that, your mind is sedated for the next few days.

You have a fool-proof plan. Dress up in the shortest and tightest dress you own, cook your husband dinner, and then give him a blow job at the table so that he’ll never leave you again. It’s going to be just like in the movies and nothing will stop that from happening.

Something stops that from happening.

Just as you’re about to put the potatoes in the oven, Erwin calls. His flight is delayed. You whine through the phone and Erwin’s chuckle just about stops you from sulking like a child. You can be mature about this, right? He’s getting home eventually- complaining isn’t going to help at all. Patience is a virtue and yours has been tested many times before. This is, after all, nothing compared to the time Erwin tried to create an excel spreadsheet. So, you don’t press further. You simply tell Erwin that you miss him and then go find a pillow in which you scream for a good five minutes.

Erwin, on the other hand, is a lot less coveted with his annoyance. He wants nothing more than to strangle whatever and whoever is preventing him from returning to his lovely wife. In the hour journey, the entire plane can feel a crushing tension above their heads, so tense that even the child at the back seems to be holding in his tears. 

Usually, Erwin prefers to spend his flights with a book in his hands, but he’s incapable for picking up the paperback and instead stares out of the window somehow hoping it will go faster.

After what feels like hours, the tight dress has gotten too uncomfortable for you to wear and you resolve yourself to eating the potatoes alone. You still don’t take off your lingerie, though. A two-piece black set with lace detailing that makes you look like a present ready to be unwrapped. It had arrived yesterday, and you had taken your sweet time admiring the embroidered flowers and soft ribbon holding the fragile piece together because you had falsely assumed that you wouldn’t have it on for long. You had in fact contemplated stockings but by the time 11PM came by you simply wrapped Erwin’s favourite robe around your body and tried to take your mind off things. Maybe you should have opted for your own robe because as the sleeves hung from your arms and the soft material effused his smell, it managed to make you feel even worse.

Staying up late was not a foreign feeling but anticipation quickly turns into boredom and you find your eyelids getting heavy. You pause the anime you’re watching and are about to shut your eyes when you hear the faint rattle of keys.

You stumble getting out of bed, knocking your shoulder on the wall before skipping four steps at a time and tripping on the robe at least twice as you rush downstairs. Erwin is barely through the door as you call out his name and he drops his bags right there to let your rush into your arms. You feel so small, so safe, so familiar, within them, as if you’ve returned to the space where you belong. He lifts you up to let you wrap your legs around his waist, your ankles barely crossing. He smells divine, even after hours of being stuck in an airport and his hair is still soft between your fingers. You look at him and the smile that spreads across his face wipes out any hints of fatigue that might have been there just moments ago.

Erwin kisses you and it’s long, deep, and he holds you impossibly closer to him as his tongue dips into your mouth. You don’t want it to end, but Erwin pulls back and says softly, “I’m home, my love.”

You can’t help but giggle. “Welcome home.”

You return to the kiss with a hint of desperation. Tugging lightly on Erwin’s shirt, you know he notices how your core is already warm, but still, he takes his time closing the door with his foot before finally noticing your attire. You’re about to make a sarcastic comment about his obliviousness but the way he looks down at you, at the small flower of lace peeping out from under the heavy robe, the way he slowly wets his lips, he leaves you speechless.

“You’re a gift.” He smiles sweetly though his eyes darken.

“Well, you’ve been working really hard,” You mumble. “You deserve a treat.”

The effect this man has on you is unbelievable. All that anger and frustration you had pent up now crumbles at the light caress of his thumb on your hips.

“Let me unwrap you,” Erwin says. And he walks you to your room, climbing up the stairs with ease as you cling onto him. You attempt to rub yourself against his hard stomach, but one look of warning makes you stop. He’s going to be doing things on his watch, tonight.

Setting you on the floor beside your bed, Erwin undoes the ribbon and you let the fabric pool at your feet. He immediately latches onto your neck, and you gasp, tilting your head to give him better access. His hands begin to roam, fingering the delicate lace of your panties and the straps of your bra as his tongue leaves a trail over your chest. It’s only when Erwin suddenly grabs your breast that you moan, body involuntarily pushing towards him.

He looks up through thick eyelashes and his hands moves to cup your face. You’re about to beg him to touch you where you need it most, but he whispers, “you’re so beautiful.” And you’re speechless again.

You suddenly lean in to kiss him, hands wrapping around his neck and it’s messy and your breath is short. “Please, Erwin,” you say to him between kisses. “Touch me.” You can feel him smile against your lips. “Please”. And before you can stop yourself. “I can’t do it myself.”

Erwin stills and only then do you realise your mistake. He pulls back and stands up straight, towering over you and you recognises that look. It’s the one of a lion who has just found a wounded deer. 

“Oh?”

Fuck. He leans back and raises a brow expectantly and you try to look everywhere but at him. Maybe if you avoid eye contact, he’ll take it as a slip of the tongue. But your husband is not one to let things go. He’s intelligent, he knows exactly what you mean- you don’t need to speak for him to gather what happened, the image of you lying pathetically on the bed, hopeless and desperate. He smirks but stays quiet. Erwin likes it when you use your words.

“No-that’s not what I meant. I mean- you feel best and it’s just-“

You’re cut off by a hand on your scalp, pulling your hair back in one swift motion so that you have no choice but to look up at your husband dead in the eye.

“You were touching yourself whilst I was away, Y/N?”

“I-I mean...yeah…”

“I see.” His gaze is enough to make you gush. “And you weren’t able to make yourself cum.”

Your cheeks burn. It’s not a question, but you affirm it anyways. “No, no I couldn’t make myself cum.”

He’s silent for a moment and you’re not sure if it’s because he’s watching your worried face or because he’s wondering how he’s going to make that face look even more worried.

“I would feel sorry for you, but I suppose that’s what you deserve for touching my cunt without my permission.”

You gasp as he uses his grip on your hair to throw you on the bed. It’s effortless, the way his strength could so easily destroy you and yet he uses it to ruin destroy you in another way- just who you like it. Erwin undoes his tie and all you can do is gawk as he strips down to his boxers. He’s as hard as a rock and you tentatively reach out to touch him, but Erwin grabs your wrist. Without warning, you’re dragged to the other side of the bed where you’re placed to face your large floor length mirror. There’s only a moment of confusion before you understand why Erwin had been so keen on the somewhat awkward placement. He positions himself behind you and you withhold the urge to press your back against his throbbing cock.

“Don’t you take your eyes off the mirror,” Erwin commands, and you nod your head. “Use your words. Or do you need me to show you how to do that too?”

“Yes, sir,” You say quickly.

“Good girl.”

Erwin opens your legs, his hands gripping your thighs hard. You silently wish bruises bloom in their wake- it’s been too long since you’ve had your husband’s mark on you. A reminder of who you belong to. One hand stays on your thigh and the other moves to nudge your panties out of the way of your glistening cunt. 

“I’m going to show you how to touch yourself,” He says in a low, rumbling voice. “And you’re going to watch closely and learn. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes sir.”

His fingers don’t tease your folds for long. Erwin is feeling merciful, because he simply gathers the slick coating your cut before immediately rubbing your clit. The moan that leaves your mouth is pornographic. You buck your hips but the hand on your thigh moves to pin you down, your body flush against his so that you can almost feel his bearing heart. You’re engulfed by him so small as he easily manipulates your body.

Erwin is overwhelmed by the options. Look at his wife unravel below him or stare at the mirror, where you have no place to hide.

“I should be punishing you, you know.” He presses his fingers down hard on a particularly tenter spot and you moan loudly. “But I need to show my dumb little girl how to take care of herself.”

“I-I’m not- ahhh.” Your back arches and Erwin captures your neck again, sucking viciously.

As his thumb continues its assault on your clit, two fingers find your tight hole, dripping and clenching around nothing. He can see in the mirror how your body is practically begging to be filled up. And fill you up he will. But first Erwin inserts a finger and groans at the warmth that greets him. He begins moving it and although you try to understand how he is able to stroke your cunt so perfectly, your mind is fogged and all that’s on your mind is your impending release. This should be a learning experience, but it serves only as a reminder of Erwin’s miraculous hands. He slips his second finger in and your moans only get lounder.

“Erwin, Erwin- they feel so good. Your fingers feel so good!”

You can see his smirk in his reflection, just before he speeds up and you have to grab his wrist to steady yourself. His fingers slam back and forth into your velvety walls. They suck them in, and he is able to find your sweet spot every time. Every single time. Your eyes roll back, you press against Erwin’s chest and your legs shake as you cum. The mess you make, leaking all over Erwin’s hands, your bed, your thighs- you try to look away, but he grabs your face to prevent you from doing so.

“Don’t you dare look away.” His voice is low, threatening. “Look how good I make you feel. Look.”

Your cheeks are flushed and the set that had made you look like a femme fatale, just hours before, is now yet another set that has has you pliant and submissive. “It seems that I’m the only one who can take care of you,” Erwin says. And you know he’s right.

Erwin lifts his soaked fingers to his mouth and his eyes flutter shut as he tastes you. When he opens them, you swear they’ve gone a shade darker. Wordlessly, Erwin slips from behind you to kneel in front of the bed. He removes your panties and holds them up to his nose, giving them a slight inhale before tossing them to the side and lowering his mouth.

“Erwin wai-“

And before you can warn him that your too sensitive- you orgasm was too strong, it’s too soon- his mouth has latched onto your cunt and Erwin is eating you out like a starved man.

“Ah-fuck, fuck, fuck,” You practically scream.

He sucks on your clit, his tongue doing what it does best. You look down, his eyes bore into yours and you know he’s remembering every expression you make as he pushes you over the edge. Despite your trembling arms struggling to keep you upright, your hand goes to grip Erwin’s hair and all you can think about is how soft it is before you cum again. Your husband doesn’t stop this time. His fingers dig into your soft hips to make sure you don’t move, to make sure that he catches everything on his tongue. And he can feel it before you do. The steady build-up of a feeling slightly familiar, but foreign enough that you warn Erwin too late. Your back arches and you squirt in his mouth and before your eyes roll back, you catch a glimpse of what you know to be a smirk in your husband’s eyes.

You can feel the sheets soak below you so try to press your legs together in somewhat of an attempt to hide the mess, but Erwin doesn’t let you. “Don’t be ashamed now, darling.” His voice is solid, domineering. “This is just you perfect body, doing exactly what I tell it to,” He says.

He could be talking about fruits and you would still nod your head dumbly.

The power Erwin has over you is addictive, and your body seems to know it too. As he kisses your thighs, licking off whatever didn’t find its way into his mouth, you can still feel a distant ache at your core. This time, you don’t need to use your words. As you lie weak on the bed, Erwin crawls over, engulfing your form. The lion is ready for his meal. He leans down to capture your lips in a gentle kiss. “I missed you,” He says. It’s the hundredth time, but you don’t tire of hearing it.

“I missed you too.”

Erwin shifts your legs, and you can feel the head of his large cock teasing your entrance.

“I missed all of you,” he repeats. “Your smile. Your voice. Your moans.” He pauses to place a kiss on your collarbone. “Your taste.”

He’s trying to be romantic, but you know why he stalls, and it makes you unable to graciously except the compliments. Erwin loves to hear you pine for him. And who are you to refuse your husband’s desires? So, you reach your hands out towards his shoulders, attempting to make him move if only a little bit. “Erwin!” You whine, and despite your weakness, you manage to push your hips forward, finding friction against his hard cock. “Please!”

Again, that smirk. He rubs against your clit. “My, my- you’ve come twice already and want more?”

Well, he missed your voice so you suppose you should let him hear it. “Let me be selfish, please sir?” You moan. “I need you inside of me.”

His cock twitches against you. And before you know it his hand is around your neck. “Such a good girl, using your words like that.”

He pushes inside you with a groan of relief, a low sound from his throat that causes his eyes to close momentarily. 

It seems you’ve forgotten how big he is because as he stretches you out like it’s your first time, your mouth drops open and a string of curses emerges. Erwin would usually reprimand you for the foul language, but he’s too lost in the feeling of your tight cunt pulling him in. Using your neck as leverage, he squeezes tight so that he can push forward and when your eyes blur, overwhelmed with the pleasure and pain and the lack of oxygen intensifying it all, Erwin loosens his grip only slightly, and your eyes find his again. You don’t notice your mouth hanging open, too focussed on the way your body is accommodating Erwin’s cock again.

“Really big, ‘s really big, sir,” You mumble and Erwin grunts in response, his teeth clenching because he too is reminded yet again of how tight- how perfect- your body is for him.

When Erwin bottoms out, he stills for a moment, basking in your warmth and taking a moment to kiss your cheek, a gentle gesture compared to the hand still grasping your neck. Your cunt gushes despite you wincing about the pain, about his size, and soon he can’t help but move his hips. Erwin pulls back and thrusts deep. You scream him name, as you feel his cock dragging against your walls. Any idea of taking you gently has evaporated from Erwin’s brain and instead his hips snap back and forth violently, his tip kissing your cervix as he buries himself inside of you again and again.

His grunts are laboured as Erwin’s free hand pushes your leg up to your chest to allow him to thrust deeps and deeper. “Just like that- just like that, good girl. My good girl.”

The new angle has him brushing against your g-spot and you won’t last long. You know you can’t- not with him quite literally rearranging your insides. You have one hand clawing at his forearm and the other grips the sheets and you repeat a mantra of “Thank you, sir, thank you” in between your desperate moans. The honorific coming from your lips is too sweet to his ears and he’s reminded of why phone calls bother him so much- nothing compares to hearing your voice like this.  

Erwin’s hand leaves your neck only to tug your bra down, letting your boobs bounce freely as he fucks you hard. You almost complain about the loss of contact but his tongue latches onto to your nipple and before you know it, you are coming all over your husband, screaming his name. Your nails dig into his arm as he nears his own release. Erwin’s hips stutter and he moans your name before throwing his head back in pure bliss as he cums inside of you. You wish you can capture that sight forever, but you don’t think any photo does your husband justice. It’s true- this is better than anything Hange could send.

Your breaths slowly find a slower rhythm in the post-orgasm silence. Erwin watches the way your fluids pool out of you as he pulls out, admiring the own mess on his lower stomach. You wince at the sore feeling and pull him towards you. This time, he follows your command. Breathless bodies mould into each other, finding their place after too long being apart. At the back of your mind, you know you should be making your way to the bathroom, but Erwin’s heavy body lying on your chest is enough to remind you to focus on the moment. For this is where you belong.

“You know, you should be flattered, Erwin.” You nudge his arm weakly as you lay together, bodies entangled in a random set of pyjamas you begrudgingly forced yourself to change into. “No one has better hands than you.”

He laughs. “I am flattered,” he says. “I just like teasing you.”

“No- you have a degradation kink.”

“Yes, that too.”

Even as you were taking a shower together, Erwin’s subtle attempts at having you admit you couldn’t make yourself cum did not go unnoticed. You suppose it’s an ego-thing, but then you realise it’s more. The power of being the only person able to bring you that much bliss is power Erwin thrives on. And despite the money wasted on your pink vibrator, you wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Still,” Erwin muses and a small smile plays across his lips. “I did expect the photo Hange took to at least help a little.”

Every muscle in your body stills and your eyes suddenly widen. Oh come on. You try to tell yourself that there’s simply nothing wrong with having a photo of your naked husband, but it’s more than that. You know it. Erwin knows it. And by the way he’s smiling, you also know that plastered on your face is the guiltiest of looks. In your poor attempt to escape his gaze by turning your back to him, Erwin chuckles and shakes his head, hugging you closer.

“That’s not fair!” You exclaim.

“It’s not?”

“No!”

You try to wiggle out of his grasp, but Erwin is made of steel. Why do you expect to get away with anything anymore? Erwin Smith is beyond two moves ahead- he’s finished the game before you’ve even started.

“Did you really think I didn’t notice?” 

“Shut up!” You whine. “Why do you have to be such a smartass about it? Let me think I win.”

“Alright, alright.” Erwin chuckles and places a kiss on your forehead. “You’re my winner. Always.”

[zaenaris]

I'm happy to see that my theory that Koko didn't really saved Inupi by accident but has saved him unconsciously, has been pushed instinctively toward his friend. I mean he didn't leave the house for long before noticing the fire right? Akane could have been still on the ground floor, but he immediatly climbed the stairs to reach the first floor where were the rooms. I stand on my headcanon: his instincts pushed him to Inupi even if he didn't realize it.

There's a chance it went like that! On one hand, Koko just confessed to Akane and he was thinking about her, on the other, from the brief interaction we've seen of the Inui siblings and Koko, it seems they were close, there are good chances Koko visited their home and knew it well enough to immediately move upstairs during the fire, knowing people were usually upstairs. (again, he run upstairs immediately, but Seishu and Akane could have been downstairs, maybe it was his instinct telling Koko to run upstairs)

Now, I can understand that it was a dangerous and stressful situation, but, while Koko was thinking about Akane, assuming the siblings had separated rooms, I find it difficult to believe he rushed in the wrong room, it was a classical situation where instincts and unconscious kick in. It may have been a situation where Koko's body moved to Seishu's room without him realizing it, while his brain was thinking about Akane, who knows?

Let's assume the sibling shared a room and where together, Koko canonically has bad eyesight as a teenager (we don't know when he was a child during the fire), the flames and the smoke, the panic of the dangerous situation for sure don't help to see clearly, so maybe it was really an accident he took Seishu instead of Akane.

But if this is the case, then what you wrote --> I have the headcanon that the guilt to NOT have EVEN thought about Inupi at this horrible moment has tortured him for years<-- makes perfectly sense and that's an headcanon that fascinates me. Because we know Koko cares about Inupi, of course he does, and even before the fire, he had these thoughts...

Nobody should have died due to that accident, and having to "choose" to save between your crush and your best friend, brother of your crush, is unfair, especially because Koko would have felt guilty anyway:

situation 1: Koko was thinking to save Akane but unconsciously "decides" to save Seishu, pushed by hiss instinct--> feels guilty because he wasn't thinking about Seishu and couldn't save Akane

situation 2: Koko was sure he saved Akane but instead realized later it was Inui -->feels guilty anyway, same as before

The fire was a traumatic event for everyone involved, I'm not surprised that, right after Koko promised Akane he would have protected her, and he "failed" (it was not his fault of course), he did everything in his power to deal with it, heaping Akane on Seishu and obsessing over money as an unhealthy coping mechanism, he admits it himself.

His feelings for Inui are complicated, there's a lot of trauma involved, an unresolved situation with Akane, shifting the promise he made to her on Inui, unconsciously, being aware she's dead while not accepting it, and having Seishu right there, with their complicated past and history.

What fascinates me about Inupi and Koko is that there is so much unsaid between them, and mostly on Koko's point of view. That's why I hope we'll get some more insight before the manga ends (and I don't want trains involved lol)

The positive things that gives me life is that they are now willing and emotionally read to talk. Inupi probably has been for a while, but Koko wasn't (during Tenjiku) but now I can see them being open with each other

[seawing-vibes]

Peril ! :D

Taken me a hot minute to write this one up, sorry for the lag!

favorite thing about them

That arc!! That charcater arc!! Wow its amazing and I love it dearly! The entire abuse survival story and actively fighting against your abuser and coming out a better person (dragon?) and not having it happen naturally, but learning it. Learning kindness and acceptance of the self and others, being able to note that she had done horrible things in the past, but being able to grow from it. Like yes!! She has done horrific things! But shes learning to grow wail not like. Completely ignoring her past. It’s so nice, I just love her arc of growth and learning things that come naturally to others. She also has great ideals, I love the way she tends to quickly deal with situations through arson, like yes go girl get those crimes in <3

least favorite thing about them

Her views on Clay make me extremely uncomfortable! I understand she comes from a situation of isolation and is naturally gonna cling to the only dragon she can touch , but its so uncomfortable to read about, for me at least. It’s obsession, not a cute crush or anything. The way her entire personality and growth gets deleted as soon as she forgets Clay makes it feel like shes not her own person without him, which is very wrong (she was helped by Clay but she grew as a person herself, Clay didn’t control that and I hate that the narrative pushes that). Also I enjoy how it was shown that she can make other friends (turtle) and be close to them without having her every thought and action consumed by them. It’s just uncomfortable and frustrating for me how much she has a reliance on Clay and despite him being obvious about not sharing romantic feelings she still pushed him onto her, and this is only rewarded by the narrative which is so so messy. Not only is it unhealthy for Clay, it’s equally (and even more-so) unhealthy for Peril. But I also think its an excellent character point for her,,, like it makes sense. But its rewarded in the narrative for some reason,, I think all my complaints about characters so far have been about their writing and not the character itself BHGEVFCG

favorite line

Cannot find the line for the life of me, but when she suggest to burn the magic Bowl for Qibli in Book 10, dunno why but that line is one of my favorites

brOTP

Clay & Peril are besties hands down, although I adore her friendship with Turtle, I think her and Clay are top teir best friends, I went into more in my Clay HC post so I wont let this get too long, but I honetly love the thought of Peril being able to realize that Clay doesn’t want a romantic relationship, and shes okay with it! So they remain close freinds, and this is very healthy and nice for Peril herself! She finds herself enjoying friendship more and feeling more relaxed when she knows that they are just that, friends, and good friends at that. <33

OTP

Im sorry but shes gotta do some more developing of herself before I feel comfortable tossing her into a relationship </3 Although shes growing, shes still got a lot of self love and reliance to build. Shes getting there slowly but surely and I dont think a relationship is a good idea for her right now. Maybe later down the line I can see her & Sunny being really cute, I also personally like Sunny x Fatespeaker x Peril,,, polyam gals,, but first Peril gets more self love and growth!!

nOTP

Glory x Peril makes me so uncomfortable I’m sorry, I feel like Glory would be an asshole to her/treat her as an interesting thing more than a dragon I dunno why!! And I dunno why i think that either since they have shared Scarlet trauma! Like looking at them it feels it should work, but i dunno just something about the way Glory’s dialog came off when talking to/about Peril just made me uncomfy, also that whole fake running away thing she did after Clay met Peril??? Huh???? If you ship it thats fine, I just personally dont like it <//3

random headcanon

Peril & Tsunami have an ongoing rivalry that neither of them can remember the reason for. It’s not a negative rivalry either, they both actually find it quite fun, but they still participate in it. Just by small things, outdoing the other in a race, feats of strength, giving the most compliments to students, and other random things. Peril thought it was negative at first, but slowly grew to like it,and after Tsunami congratulated her on outdoing the Seawing one day Peril realized that Tsunami also liked it. It was good bonding for the both of them, who have a hard time expressing emotion outside of physical acts, something Peril cant do a lot, and it provided a new way of expressing appreciation and bonding for her. Her & Tsunami have a close friendship now, filled with inside jokes and the occasional “bet you cant throw this rock as far as me!” Squabbles. Just gals being pals!!

unpopular opinion

Haha, actually have an unpopular opinion I’ve been kinda scared to share bhgvefc! I dont Headcanon Peril as trans fem bhrgsb. Mainly due to how Trans Fem’s have been negatively effected by the HC, I watched as people sent,,, rude (to put it kindly,,,) messages to Trans Fem people after speaking up on the sussy parts of the HC (even after they expressed that its okay to enjoy headcanon, just asking for people to be critical of it due to it falling in line with a harmful stereotype) and how negatively the HC effected Trans Fem individuals. It was ,, a messy situation and effected some of my very close friends and just blarg,,, so yeah hrughh I also have my own vibes on it, as I simply HC Peril as non-binary. They get time to explore themself and gender as a whole and decide they dont like that,, their pronouns are they/she in my headcanon :]

But of course please do not think that I’m saying it’s problematic or anything to HC Trans Fem Peril, its a popular headcanon and its not going away anytime soon (/nm /lh), and thats okay! Just be respectful is all, I’m chill with it if you hc it, that doesn’t effect my view on anyone or anything so please dont think so ah , dont wanna make anyone uncomfortable or anything im just talking brbrhebsg but yeah! Peril!! HEGVFC

song i associate with them

Oh this ones hard,, Presumably Dead Arm by Sidney Gish just makes me think of her for some reason?? I dont quite know why it just vibes with her in my mind, Daughter of the Fish and the Ram is also a Peril song for me, song about looking for yourself and realizing that its never gonna be perfect and the key to becoming comfortable in your environment its to be comfortable with yourself,, mwah perfect Peril material <3

favorite picture of them

This . She’s literally on fire,, filled with emotion and grief over her lost friend that she cared deeply for,,, like that strong emotion w illiteracy set her on fire!! Was this probably just a stylistic choice in the art? Probably. Do I care? No <3 /LH