#she has always given me strong vampire vibes for some reason

[killjo-q]

close up of her face before I colored it.

Idk i just kinda liked this one hehe

[therealvinelle]

How do you believe Carlisle feels about Esme? How would their break up go? Would he ever cheat on her? I mean like emotionally?

He loves her.

I don’t doubt that his feelings for Esme are genuine, that he respects and cherishes her and wishes to spend his life with her. Esme, too, worships the man.

My complete lack of faith in this ship comes from the fact that they’re together for the wrong reasons and not compatible. 

The Bad Beginning

Carlisle had spent centuries searching for likeminded, he never did. In the end he succumbs and starts creating his own, first Edward and then Esme, and to his joy they both agree to do the diet.

Esme’s transformation was entirely an impulse on his end. He saw this delightful, vivacious young woman he’d known ten years ago lie broken and dying in the morgue, a Jane Doe declared dead, she was all too easy to steal. She was too far gone for him to have time to think it over, and so he went «alright let’s do this. I imagine it seemed rather like God had sent her to that morgue specifically. We learn from Midnight Sun that romance wasn’t on his mind at all (even if it was, that wouldn’t make their marriage more functional) and he expected nothing of her. He bit her because he didn’t want Esme Platt to die.

Esme, of course, wakes up into this new life under surreal, heavenly circumstances. Her child is still dead - but here is the mythic, pedestaled Dr. Cullen, now her savior and more wonderful than ever. To back myself up with the books:

Esme had already been in love with Carlisle—much to his shock—but not through any mystical, magical means. She’d met Carlisle as a girl and, drawn to his gentleness, wit, and otherworldly beauty, formed an attachment that had haunted her for the rest of her human years. Life had not been kind to Esme, and so it was not surprising that this golden memory of a good man had never been supplanted in her heart. After the burning torment of transformation, when she’d awakened to the face of her long-cherished dream, her affections were entirely his. (Midnight Sun, chapter Bloodtype)

Carlisle, on his end, hadn’t had the idea at all until Edward said “Dude, she’s into you, go for it.”

I’d been on hand to caution Carlisle about her unforeseen reaction. He’d expected that she would be shocked by her transformation, traumatized by the pain, horrified by what she’d become, much as I had been. He’d expected to have to explain and apologize, to soothe and to atone. He knew there was a good chance that she would have preferred death, that she would despise him for the choice made without her knowledge or consent. So the fact that she had been immediately prepared to join this life—not really the life, but to join him—was not something he was ready for.

He’d never seen himself as a possible object of romantic love before that moment. It seemed contrary to what he was—a vampire, a monster. The knowledge I gave him changed the way he looked at Esme, the way he looked at himself.

More than that, it was very a powerful thing, choosing to save someone. It was not a decision any sane individual made lightly. (sic)

I’m not entirely void of authorial intent - I get that this was supposed to be romcom where the cute nerdy guy has no idea the girl is interested. 

But, what I see is that after centuries of being alone, never finding anybody who shared his values, Carlisle finally has these two people who share his ideals, the only two in the world. He’s had countless friends, but it never worked out because of that damn diet. But, now he has these two people, and one of them is a beautiful, kind, wonderful woman who’s in love with him.

I imagine falling for Esme was easy. It was just so perfect, simply by being Carlisle Cullen he could make her happier than any other man, and given their shared diet, he wanted her by his side always, just as he did Edward. And this was it for him, really, to Carlisle Cullen Esme might as well be the only woman in the world because she’s the only one who'll share his lifestyle. He also felt responsible for her.

I don’t at all doubt their sincerity or affection for one another.

However, they did not fall for each other for each other’s sakes. Esme fell for the ideal since childhood, and Carlisle fell because she was perfect. Stick them in an AU and it won’t happen.

The Slippery Slope

Where they run into trouble is firstly that Esme doesn’t share these ideals, nor value human life for its own sake. Now, I’m not asking her to be a saint - but over the course of these books we had some lapses that I find pretty damning. 

She wanted Edward back in Forks, when this would almost certainly mean the death of Bella Swan, simply because to Esme having Edward nearby > a person’s life. This wasn’t the case for Carlisle, he made it extremely clear he wanted Edward to leave.

During the “Kill Bella?” vote, she was in favor of whatever meant Edward would stay.

Carlisle, having failed to get anywhere with talking sense into Edward, sends him home to his mother for an intervention. What happens next is that Esme gives Edward her blessing to eat the delicious girl if he wants to. Now, we can’t know specifically the talk Carlisle and Esme had before this, but I can’t imagine it was this. Also, damn, what a miscommunication.

Esme simply doesn’t have a problem with the deaths of individual humans, and she will put her loved ones above all other things, even if it’s a minor inconvenience. Keeping Bella alive only becomes her priority after Edward makes it clear he wants this.

Now, Carlisle’s standards have been worn down over the centuries, he just wants his family to try not to eat people on purpose, that’s how low the bar is. Tragically for his marriage, Esme is stumbling over said bar.

The further trouble they run into is that I don’t think they’re very compatible people.

Esme means well, but she’s peculiar, to put it extremely nicely. Her ambition in life is to LARP the human life, right down to being a master chef of something her species can’t eat, which could be sweet if she did other things. She doesn’t, the closest she gets is designing homes for her family. There’s being single-minded, and then there’s Esme, who appears to have honed herself into someone who exists only to be the housewife.

This leads to bizarre behavior - for instance in Midnight Sun when Edward has realized he’s in love, he sits around laughing to himself like a lunatic while playing the piano. Something happens with Rosalie, who runs out of the house in humiliation. Esme, responding to all this, gives her infamous “the best and brightest of us all” pep talk.

It’s just such a weird scene, even accounting for the inhumanity of Twilight vampires this is weird.

Mostly, thought, it is Esme’s interests and desires in life that I find so at odds with Carlisle’s. She wants to be an improved human, living the shinier, better, life without actually embracing the inhumanity of vampirism, while Carlisle is doing the human thing because he wants to be a doctor and save lives. Before that, he was travelling the world, living with normal vampires, using his eternity to study and pursue meaning in life. Now, they end up in the same place, with similar goals - wanting to blend in with humans - but the motivation is the polar opposite.

Which in turn means that as the world turns and their lives inevitably change, the way they live will have to change. This will spell trouble.

There’s also me having a strong suspicion these two don’t have much of a physical relationship, if any. Meyer specifically referred to their relationship as spiritual, and that fits the vibe we get from them in the books. Quite notably, Rosalie and Emmett were impossible to be around when they were newlyweds, while Carlisle and Esme weren’t a problem at all. 

Not to mention what Esme longed for all those years was very much an ideal of a man, which to me doesn’t immediately point to a very physical attraction.

The Penultimate Peril

Would he cheat on her, you ask. Answer is yes, they’re both cheating emotionally with Edward. No. 

He’s with her because he wants to be, and feels responsible for her. More, developing the kinds of feelings necessary for an emotional affair isn’t really on the table for him, since everyone else in the world is either a. one of his kids or the Denali, b. an unrepentant man-eating demon. So, unless Tanya’s feeling frisky, Carlisle doesn’t have anybody to cheat with.

(I’m here defining an emotional affair, which as I understand it is a bit hard to define, as a romantic, but non-physical entanglement. The cheating party has to know their partner wouldn’t be cool with it for it to count in my eyes.)

As for physically cheating on her, nope. God no, not ever. Unless something really convoluted like the plot of Blue Moon unfolded, but that’s really more a case of Esme pimping out her husband to her daughter-in-law, so everyone’s to blame here.

The end

I think the breakup can happen in any number of ways, but I think either way it will be sudden. 

These two aren’t going to go “you know, I think we’ve grown apart” because Esme would never acknowledge that nevermind walk up to Carlisle and say it, and if Carlisle realized things aren’t working he’d still want to stick it out for her sake.

I think it’ll be sudden, it’ll happen as the immovable object that is them is hit by an unstoppable force. One will go someplace the other can’t follow. Maybe when the Cullen coven splits down the middle, and they’re on each their own side of the chasm, or maybe some other cause entirely.

It’ll devastate them both, but given the people these two are, I think it’s inevitable.

[hellodahliah]

8,28,47 for Delphi (I know you posted some of her backstory, but I’m curious to know more)

@1o8percent i’m so happy you’re interested in delphi and her story. this was so fun for me to write and it also made me so excited to share more about her and her life. thank you for the ask, dear 🥺❤️

8. What is their back story?

so delphi is the oldest sibling of two and her family is a mix between normal people and spellcasters. her mother, sybil, came from a very noble spellcaster family. sybil’s parents did not approve of her marriage to her father, jacob. he was not from a wealthy family, and he was not either a spellcaster. they were afraid of what he would do, if he found out about them and their abilities.

for a long time sybil and her family had to hide their abilities and true selves from the world in fear of being hunted down by paranormal hunters. spellcasters, vampires and other occults had struggled with oppression and hunters for a very long time, luckily people aren't that judgmental and afraid of occults anymore that they would want to hunt them down. however, paranormal hunters still exist, and there's always a reason to be careful. 

the name spellcaster has with time become more and more used instead of witch. it sounds less wicked and scary.

so jacob had to work hard to gain sybil’s parents approval and trust. still when they figured out he was not a bad person they would remain wary around him, refusing to give their blessing for him to marry her. until one accident where he finally learnt the true nature of her family. it all happened during a fishing trip to granite falls, where they had rented a boat together and jacob, had caught a big fish that was strong enough that made them both fall out the boat. in panic and because of her instincts, sybil used her abilities to stop their fall mid air. the next moment their boat is ashore filled with fish. and jacob is sitting there looking at her with a surprised expression. she tries to erase his memories of everything. but he wouldn't let her, he tells her he wouldn't care less if she is a spellcaster or not.

so with a long meeting between her parents, sybil and jacob are finally given their blessings to marry.

so a little more than a year later delphi is born. sybil gave her the name delphine because she thought she sounded like a dolphin when she cried and her parents' honeymoon was spent in sulani where they swam together with the dolphins.

four years later her brother gideon was born. delphi and gideon couldn't be more different from each other. delphi was more quiet and kept to herself, while gideon loved to spend time with friends and bike around the neighborhood and he always found himself in trouble. but he was not a mean person or a troublemaker, just very active and adventurous. gideon was very interested in magic and he really wanted to become a wizard when he grew old. delphi again was terrified of magic, mostly because she struggled with controlling her powers resulting in scary incidents for her. she made her own bike fly at one time when she was about to fall of from it it. delphi was interested in art, animals and fashion. her dream was to become a fashion designer.

gideon and delphi got along well, and would do things together. she didn't have many friends, because she was more quiet and reserved so he would sometimes invite her to hang out with him or his friends. and they would also do stuff together like going to cinemas etc. but when her powers grew stronger and his never developed he grew more insecure and bitter around her. he spent less time with her and started to shut her out from his life. this caused a rift in their relationship that sadly still has to be fixed.

delphi spent more time at the magic realm with her mom, and she learnt how to control her powers. spending time at the magic realm made her realize that magic is not that scary after all ( if you can control it ). she started to become more interested in fortunetelling and what kind of things was found in the shop in caster's alley. she started to collect tarot cards.

delphi became more and more invested in the skill of fortunetelling, and she would sometimes fortune tell her classmates. or more likely it went like this: they found her sitting around, practicing with her tarot decks, which they found to be super cool, so they bombarded her with questions and then asked her to fortune tell them.

delphi met her husband in high school. he had a lot of friends, and was always surrounded by people. they met each other in art class, he found her style super unique. ( she kind of had her abstract painting period back then ) he had decided ( *cough* felt pressured to *cough* ) pick up art. his parents were art critics and their world revolved around art. he liked art, but he was more interested in tattoos and street art ( which his parents thought was trashy ). but he was even more interested in nature and biology. he loved insects. so that was what delphi and him bonded over. delphi loved butterflies, and he liked all sorts of insects. they spent more time with each other, they became friends and then feelings turned into something more. however none of them dared to confess to the other.

they ended up at different universities, he went to foxbury to study biology and physics as a minor subject while delphi studied art history and business in britechester.as time spent they started to drift apart, finding new friends at university etc. they were both living their lives, doing their own things. 

delphi ended up in a not so healthy relationship, which ended horribly. afterwards she struggled a bit with her mental health and she started to listen more to her gut feelings about people. she starts to over analyze everything and everyone and becomes more paranoid. 

her husband noticed a difference in her personality, and confronted her about it. he was worried. that’s where he confesses he really loved her and that he wouldn’t let anything happen to her. they doesn’t start to date yet, because it is too soon after the break up... both of them are straight out of broken relationships. they spends a lot more time with each other. and he eventually moves in with her more like him spending so much time at her place that all his things eventually end up there. 

they ended up marrying each other and they had two children cosima and roy. these two also have a four year gap between them. delphi worries her children will face similar problems her and gideon had. so she makes sure they get along well with each other. she plans a lot of family activities. sundays are usual called family day, meant to spend with family alone. 

delphi starts to think more and more about opening a mystic shop. it is dangerous and risky because she risks outing herself as a spellcaster if she isn’t being careful. however, more and more people are becoming accepting around the occult and finds it super cool instead.

occult sims don’t have that many places/shops that sell things they need to survive like plasma fruits, plasma packs, antidotes towards wolfsbane etc. 

when her husband died delphi struggled a lot. her family had a rough year. dealing with the loss of a parent for her children and a loss of a husband. her husband was a very strong and brave person, he was in fact the family's pillar of strength and her biggest cheerleader. he helped her with her business he even supported her when she opened up about wanting to make business with her tarot.

her business life hasn’t been doing that well. she had to close her shop in willow creek due to the hectic year and instead she is welcoming customers to her home. however, when the time is right she’ll consider re-opening the shop again. 

28. How do they get out of a difficult situation?

this depends on the situation. she kind of has a tendency to freeze and shut down during stressful situations. her husband was the one who usually leapt in and kept his head cold. now with him gone she has to navigate through the situations herself. 

normally delphi always put the needs of her children above her own, so they wouldn't suffer the consequences of the difficult situation. she would ask herself what her husband or someone she knows would do in her place. then her mind usually starts to roll and then she comes to the solution... 

47. are they quick to judge?

she isn't judgmental, but she can easily pick up on other people's auras and vibes if they are good people or not or if they are out to get something from her. 

[divineluce]

A Spirited Discussion || Jasmine & Luce

Timing: Backdated to Early December

Location: The Vural Residence

Tagging: @halequeenjas & @divineluce

Description: Back when Jas was staying at the Vural House, Luce had some questions about ghosts. Who better to ask than someone she’s despised since middle school?

It was entirely unsurprising to Jasmine that Beatrice opened up her home to her. Bea had always kind of been the mom friend and she loved that about her. In a lot of ways, it brought her back to a simpler time. A time where late-night secrets were whispered and hushed laughter was shared. Having lost Bea before, it made those small moments seem that much more precious. It almost completely made up for the fact she was missing her bed and luxury sheets. Almost. She had no appointments this morning, so she found herself alone in the kitchen with coffee Bea had made earlier that morning. She had made herself cozy at the table with her coffee and a muffin when she heard footsteps. She assumed it was Nellie, but was surprised to see Luce joining her at the table. She feigned shock and joked, “What have I done for the ever-elusive Luce to join me for a cup of coffee on this fine Saturday morning?” She thought of throwing in she’d have to add it to her calendar as the anniversary of the day Luce willingly spent some time with her, but she wasn’t going to push her luck.

Luce felt like shit. That had been the vibe for most of her days as of late, so she shouldn’t have been too surprised by it. It only made sense, right? You get talked into killing someone by an angry teenager, you fucking light a bitch up in a back alley and then… you feel like shit. Every night, she was haunted by what she’d done that day, the image of Lydia’s melting skin, wreathed in her fire seared into her mind. Some nights, she stayed awake for as long as she could, trying to put off the nightmares as much as possible. Running a charcoal smeared hand through her hair, Luce tossed the pencil back on her desk. She could smell coffee wafting from the kitchen and she let out a sigh. Maybe that would help her feel less like this. Leaving the mess of swirls and jagged lines, she made her way out to the kitchen and her eyes narrowed when she saw Jasmine. Sitting. In her spot. “Just make yourself at fucking home, I guess.” She muttered under her breath as she grabbed a mug from the cupboard. “Just here for the coffee. You’re an unexpected addition, just like most of the people who wind up sitting here in the morning. ” Luce replied, filling the mug nearly to the brim, with just enough space for a splash of milk. Adam, he’d apparently stayed here for a bit. And Blanche had been here too, Winston a few times, before they’d left town entirely. They were just a fucking pitstop of half the town, weren’t they

Had she been a less secure person, Luce’s disdain toward her might have bothered her. However, Jasmine just had an amused look on her face as she sipped on the coffee. She smirked as she retorted, “Well, Bea did tell me to make myself at home.” With a shrug, she glanced back down at the book she had been reading with her breakfast. She’d still been looking into more powerful destruction exorcisms for Larry Bob. It still made little sense to her that the previous one hadn’t worked. She flipped the book shut and decided she’d rather annoy Luce than herself. “You mean, you’re not here for the delightful company I provide,” she joked with a feigned sense of hurt. Maybe she should let Luce actually get some coffee in her before pissing her off, but where was the fun in that? “I’m kidding, I know for whatever reason you can’t stand me… which rude, but my feelings aren’t hurt. I’d still whack a ghost for you… Vampire shows up you’re on your own though.” 

“Yeah, that’s just shit people say when they’re being polite. You’ve shown enough houses, you should know that by now.” Luce said over the rim of her coffee mug and took a sip. Bea had made the coffee, she could tell. There was something about the way that she brewed it that was just different-- she couldn’t put her thumb on what it was, but it reminded her that this place was home. Grabbing a couple slices of bread from the cabinet, she stuck them in the toaster and pressed the lever down. She’d just make some breakfast and then fuck off back to her room. Luce glanced over at the other woman with an arched eyebrow. “Uh huh, for whatever reason.” She said, reminded of Jas’ continuous presence around their family home when they were growing up. But, her annoyed expression was broken when she heard the other woman’s words. Casting a sidelong look at the book that sat shut on the table, Luce tilted her chin to it. “What’s that? And… what do you mean, whacking a ghost for me?” She asked, cautious.

“I think Bea and I are far past politeness and faux niceties,” Jasmine chided before she took another bite from her muffin that Bea had been all too excited to make. Even the coffee tasted better somehow. It was something she always relished during their monthly brunch dates. Though a small smirk was present on her face, she shook her head. “I said what I said. Not that I’m too bothered, I don’t require anyone’s approval but my own.” She watched the annoyed expression fade from Luce’s face. Was it a surprise there? Did Luce not realize she was an exorcist? Sure, they didn’t talk to each other much, but she assumed Bea or Nell had at least mentioned it before. “You know, like--” she made a whacking motion with her arms like she was hitting a ghost with one of her iron rods. Her features scrunched up with confusion. “Did you not know I’m an exorcist? Who do you think put the wards up here?” 

“You sure fucking don’t.” Luce muttered over her mug, taking a long drink as she waited for the toaster to do it’s thing. If her magic was behaving normally, she’d just take the bread back to her room and toast it there, but… with how it’d be haved when she’d helped Adam dispel the Mortasheen from the beach. She had a feeling that she’d have better lucky shining a magnifying glass to the pieces of bread. No, better to suffer through Jas’ company and leave. As Jas made a swinging gesture, Luce rolled her eyes. “No shit I know you’re an exorcist. I just didn’t think that by exorcising ghosts you were straight up murdering them. I thought it was like… I don’t know, you getting your Jennifer Love Hewitt on.” She said shifting uncomfortably. Was Nadia a ghost? Could she be killed like this? Double killed or whatever?

Jasmine was confused now. Why would Luce think she murdered ghosts? Not that you could really kill what was dead, but she supposed sometimes she did have to actually destroy a soul. “Wait, what do you mean? I don’t murder ghosts. I meant whack is in like literal whacking. With an iron rod to get them to fuck off. Sometimes you’re not always ready for an impromptu exorcism in the middle of a Chili’s or whatever.” She mused further holding her coffee mug close to her, “I guess technically for poltergeists or demons I destroy their souls though one can argue there’s little left of their soul at that point-- For the most part, it’s just forcing ghosts to move on or you know, not hijack someone else’s body.”

“I don’t know how ghost shit works!” Luce said defensively. Because she really fucking didn’t. She’d read the books that Rio had given her-- which, she realized, were still sitting in her room. She should probably give those back to him. That would be one hell of an awkward conversation. “Uh huh, you, in a Chilis. That seems a lot less likely to happen than you double killing a ghost.” She said with a grimace. “Is there any way to get rid of ghosts for good? Or, if someone had been possessed before, does that make them like… extra enticing for poltergeists and shit to get back at them?” She asked. “Like, with the whole hijacking situation, will they just keep coming back to someone they’ve possessed?”

“Yeah, but you know me and should be able to deduce after all these years I’m not a murderer… Though given this is the longest conversation we’ve ever had, I can’t be all that shocked,” Jasmine said with a hint of edge in her voice. Most of the time, Luce’s annoyance with her was amusing, but she didn’t quite like the remark that she was murdering ghosts. They were literally already dead for one. Aside from that, they needed to move on for their own good. If her mug hadn’t been in her hand, her arms would have haughtily crossed over her chest. Instead, she shot Luce a glare to get the point across. “It’s not killing ghosts,” she reiterated before her brows furrowed. Was Luce asking her honest to god questions? There had to be something up. She set her mug down and channeled all the patience she could muster. “Yes, that’s like 90% of what I do. Most people who remain on this plane after they died, died a traumatic death. They have unfinished business that honestly more often than not, has no way of being resolved. That’s where I come in. I get them to move on… albeit with a little bit of exorcism, but unless it’s a destruction exorcism, they move on. Find some peace.” She thought over her answer in reply to possession. Usually those who had a spirit or demon exorcised from them would have some sort of protective measures. “I think a lot of that can vary from person to person. There’s not a hard and fast rule for possession. I think the more strong willed a person is, the more difficult it can be to possess them, but that’s really something that’s only theorized in accounts at best. If someone has had a spirit or demon exorcised from them, typically they learn some protective measures to take. Some ghosts can become very set on a single person I suppose.” She knew Larry Bob continuously had his sights set on her demise. It could make sense if it was a vengeance thing she supposed. The why behind Luce was asking to begin with concerned her. Her gaze softened and she asked, “What’s going on Luce? If you have some sort of ghost problem, I can help.”

Lips pressing together into a tight line, Luce stared down at her coffee mug for a moment. Maybe Jas didn’t seem like a murderer. But, she’d never thought she was one either. Or that Bea or Nell would be killers either. When push came to shove though, they’d chosen one another over the lives of others. And she’d done worse than that, she’d killed without… any real reason. Lifting the mug to her lips, Luce took a long sip as Jas explained what exorcism was, what happened to people who went through it, all of it things that Luce had never heard of. Reading the books from the Scribary, they’d really only given her information from the perspective of hunters, and they deferred to exorcists when it came to ghosts. Outside of a few wards that she’d tried to draw, they hadn’t  provided much in the way of help. At Jas’s question, Luce spoke up slowly, “I don’t  have a ghost problem. Not me personally.” She paused, hands pressed against the warm ceramic of the mug. “Someone I... care about does. Some bitch took over her body years ago but she got rid of her for a while. But now the ghost is back and she pushed her out of her body. They were both there for a while, but she got… shoved out. I didn’t even know that sort of thing was possible.”

As much as Jasmine had tried to bond with Luce over the years, seeing her features filled with anything but snark or disdain brought a sense of worry over here. She knew Luce would hate Jasmine of all people worrying for her and would probably say something about not needing her. It didn’t change the fact she would anyway. They didn’t have to get along swimmingly for her to give a crap about her overall wellbeing. She nodded slowly and set her mug down on the table, “Even if it’s not you personally, I’m still concerned.” So she listened and connected the pieces. How many ghosts in town could there be that were pushing people out of their bodies? Realization showed across her face in the way her eyes narrowed slightly and she let out a soft sigh. “Do you mean Nadia or is there more than one body hijacking ghost pushing people out of their body?” She really, really hoped there was only the one. That was going to be a complicated ritual to perform once let alone twice. Blanche had mentioned there was a lead on it, but her own reading wasn’t promising. She answered gently, “To answer your question, it’s not common. I’ve been researching though the broken arm had me out of commission for a bit. It sounds like this ghost has learned how to wield her power and is very determined to take over that body. It’s possible to get her out and for your friend to repossess her body, but multiple exorcisms like that-- they’re rough on the body. Especially if the ghost is fighting… which if they’re a poltergeist is very likely. So it's fixable, it's just very delicate.”

At the sound of Nadia’s name, Luce shoulders stiffened. She shouldn’t have been surprised that Jas would know, but still. Hearing someone else say her name who knew exactly what was going on with Nadia, it was… as though a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Only to be replaced by a sharp wave of fear over what Jas’ knowledge of the situation meant. Luce moved to take another sip from her coffee but froze when she heard that body. “It’s not that body. It’s Nadia’s.” Luce said sharply, anger flaring her tone before she could catch herself. Grimacing, the witch set her mug down and stared at the pool of brown liquid for a moment. “So, it can be fixed. That’s,” She paused, trying to process that news. “Something.” It could be fixed. But, delicate? That meant it wasn’t a situation that could be fixed by anything that Luce could do. On a good day, she was about as delicate as a hand grenade. And with her magic as it was right now? Luce stared at the tattooed skin of her knuckles and grimaced. “How do you know about her? Are you trying to help get Nadia back in her body?” I want to help, those were the words she wanted to say. But how could she?

Jasmine noticed the way Luce tensed up. It answered her question before she even said anything though as much only made her more worried about the situation. Though she wouldn’t show it. Luce, for once, needed to have confidence in her. Of course, Luce was already getting snippy and she folded her hands together on the table as if it would hold her together. “Well, you hadn’t confirmed if I was right about the who, so I was trying to be vague. This may come as a shock to you, but seeing as I help people with possession, I’m kind of big on the whole bodily autonomy thing, too.” She saw Luce making an effort to relax herself and almost felt bad for being equally as snappy. Given their usually dynamic, it was more difficult than she would have likely to show patience. She let out a breath and answered, “Yes, it can be fixed. As I said, it’s still a delicate situation. That poltergeist isn’t going to give up her body easily and can cause damage on the way out.” It was true. There was also the risk of the poltergeist completely wrecking Nadia’s body on the way out. Even if that wasn’t the case, she may still be weakened. “I’ve met Nadia’s ghost and we talked for a bit. I also ended up meeting the exorcist who originally tried to get the ghost out of her body. He’s young-- bit off more than he could chew there. I wish I met him sooner so I could have taken the wheel, but that’s not how things work. So now, I’m doing a ton of research to ensure the ritual doesn’t kill Nadia. Though someone else mentioned there was another lead, but didn’t get any information, so I’m not sure if someone else is working on it.” 

Gritting her teeth together, Luce ran a hand through her hair, pulling her fingers through a few of the tangles. She’d never liked Jas. Never liked any of Bea’s friends, never really wanted to get to know them, never really cared to play nice with them. Which made this conversation all the more difficult. It was hard enough knowing that Jas was usually a smug bitch, but the fact that Jas was literally the only person she knew who could deal with this was something else. Blanche might be able to see ghosts, but the kid wasn’t an exorcist. And she was just that, a kid. Luce had already asked too much of her when Bea had died. She didn’t need to put more on her plate. Taking a steadying breath, Luce nodded “Sorry.” It was a word she rarely offered, but she needed Jas’ help. “You’ve met her? Y-you’ve--” Luce’s words caught in the back of her throat and she took the moment to take another deep drink from her mug. Fuck. Jas was trying to help. She was trying to fix things. “Who else knows about this? I want to help. If I can. I don’t know how much I can do but… If I can, I want to.”

Hearing “sorry” come from Luce was a shock in and of itself. Jasmine had always thought she’d be much more satisfied when this moment came. Given the circumstances, she could hardly be too smug about it. Someone Luce cared about was in an awful situation. There was no relishing in that. Not with any sort of good conscience anyway. She let out a soft sigh and softened her features. Brows no longer scrunched together and eyes offering more in the way of understanding. “It’s fine,” she said softly in a way that felt so foreign to her normal conversations with Luce. “I have, yes. Entirely on accident, but she seemed as okay as she could be given the circumstances.” It felt important to let Luce know that. It was even more of a surprise she was offering her help. “If you’re up for some reading, I could use some help getting through the books. I ultimately want to minimize the risk of the ritual taking a potentially fatal toll on her body.” 

Luce’s shoulders had squared slightly, prepared to face some kind of gloating comment. But, it never came and instead, Jas was reassuring her. She hated this. She hated feeling like Jas was pitying her, like she was weak. But, Luce was weak. This wasn’t her element and she had no real power to do anything in this situation. And even if she had power, had her flame fully at her disposal to channel around her, what then? She couldn’t burn a ghost out of a body. Her magic was destruction and little more than that. Staring at the counter top, Luce took in the other woman’s words mutely. The relief she felt at her words, though, it washed over her in a calming wave. It confirmed what she’d heard from Nadia that night, when she’d seen her in the mirror of her scrying mirror. That the other woman was out of immediate danger. At least for now. Head jerking up at Jas’ offer, Luce blinked. “Reading? I-- sure. Yeah, I can do that.” A fatal toll. Luce didn’t want to think about that possibility, as though even the act of thinking about it would bring it into reality. “I can help.” She could help. If Luce could help bring Nadia back safely into her body, maybe there was hope for her. Maybe there was more to her than just… ruin. She had to try.

[teamjacobthot]

issa twilight tag game baybee

pick 5-10 characters and write your take on the canon version of them vs. fanon version of them. fanon doesn’t have to be what is generally accepted in the fandom, it can be your own idea of what you think a character is like. then tag the same number of people as characters you pick, if you can.

I was tagged by @leahclearwaterdefensesquad so let’s get into it baybeeee

Jacob

Canon:

Absolutely 1000% adored him and his pure goodness and supportive nature up until Smeyer suddenly wrote him as a violent piece of shit and blamed it on phasing (??????)

And THEN made him a permanent house dog of the Cullens in Breaking Dawn…….. 

Y’all already know how I feel about all that so I’m not getting into it

But trash

Done dirty only bc Smeyer realized she wrote a likable love interest and had to SQUASH that shit instead of making Edward more likable :|

We been knew

Fanon:

HOWEVER

I’ve actually really, really come to love some of the fanon takes of Jacob on here!!! 

I never really had a personal headcanon before the Twilight Renaissance besides “he fixes cars, he gives good hugs, and he’s kinda sad”

This is still true but that man (rn I’m thinking of Jacob as like… a 22 year old) is CRAFTY. 

I love the fanon takes where he sells his handmade jewelry on Etsy and starts his own mechanic shop

I love a man who’s good with his hands

In my personal headcanon now, he definitely works to start his own shop or goes to college to become an engineer, has some unresolved feelings about his sisters abandoning him that eventually get resolved with time, enjoys hanging out with Billy and admires him, probably makes jewelry for his friends’ and family’s birthdays

And would make the best dad ever in the future

He’s also super patient and treats his friends like family because his own family is so fragmented

I also imagine that he can’t fucking cook but he still tries. 

Btw I reject ALL forms of canon where Jacob and any other members of the pack end up hanging out with the Cullens for eternity bc those pasty mfs ruined their lives and need to MOVE AWAY so the pack can finally get some PEACE

Bella

Canon:

Horny white girl

No friends

Doesn’t cuss

Gets married and has a baby at 18 despite literally being Team Fuck Them Kids

Fanon: 

Ngl, I’ve really disconnected with the fandom when it comes to Bella

I do agree that she stays horny

But I do think the fandom sometimes overdoes it in terms of how chaotic she is bc she just… doesn’t give me that kind of vibe. She definitely wasn’t in her right mind in New Moon so that doesn’t count

In fact I find her mentally ill and I really really really want her to get a therapist

I don’t really care for Vampire Bella bc I felt that she lost all the parts of her personality that I really enjoyed

But when it comes to Human Bella, she’s just a chill girl

She’s a Virgo. She was an adult at like, 12

In my personal headcanon, she gets the distance she needs from her mother (I think she has mommy issues tbh) and learns to be an adult not for anybody’s sake but her OWN

She doesn’t necessarily go to college, but she does what she wants

And I genuinely believe she would NOT want a kid before the age of like… 27, if at all

She would live her life at a comfortable place, have lots of sex lmao, and actually make some friends too

Not a lot for friends, just a couple good ones, Jacob included

I’ve always written her/liked seeing her written as humorous but in a super dark way — self-deprecating, sarcastic, DRY, etc. 

She definitely cusses a lot bc she finds there’s a LOT to cuss about

She absolutely smokes weed bc do y’all see how stressed she is??? She deserves it!

Let Bella Smoke A Blunt 2020

Leah Thee Clearwater

Canon:

Bitter :(

Mean “for no reason” :((((

Needs to get over it :/

Hilarious

Fanon:

The fanon depictions of Leah are my favorite so far but they do vary A LOT

I don’t really care for Leah x Angela bc while they are two tall queens, EYE frankly think Leah is too good for anybody we’ve met in the saga and needs a fresh start anyway

And staying in boring ass Clallam County for a gf does not sound like the move

I’m personally a fan of the fanon where Leah moves away after all the bullshit with the Cullens, maybe goes to school, gets a good paying job that’s actually meaningful work too, and never has to phase again

I think about Leah’s life before phasing A LOT. In my mind, she was a semi-popular athlete with hella friends and admirers but still strong and opinionated. She protects girls and women and makes sure to hold people accountable when they fuck up

Overall, my headcanon of Leah is just Canon Leah but if the world was less cruel to her. 

She’s perfect the way she is and I love her <3

Charlie

Canon:

Disgruntled cop

Drinks beer

Hates Edward

Loves Alice

Fanon:

The general fanon for Charlie is more or less the same as Canon Charlie which is like… fine

But he’s still a cop

So in my personal headcanon, he leaves the police force to do work that actually helps Forks like something within community engagement

Maybe he does volunteer work on the Quileute reservation too

Idk I just want him to be useful and not a cop

Rosalie

Canon:

Cold

Mean

Blonde

Doesn’t like Bella

Fanon:

Ok so even though she’s immortal I really imagine she’d like to be around babies and pregnant women as much as possible

I think she would do amazing as an OBGYN despite her hands being all cold lmao

IMAGINE ROSALIE DELIVERING BABIES!!!! (ASSUMING HER HANDS AREN’T TOO COLD!!!!!!)

If she couldn’t be around pregnant women and babies as much as possible I imagine her having her own mechanic shop (possibly shared with Jacob, if they could tolerate each other)

Imagine her working on cars…… I’m w*t

I could also really imagine her fucking it up in an nonprofit organization as an advocate for survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault

Overall I really appreciate the fanon that she’s soft at times and does more than just fuck lmao

Quil Ateara Thee Fifth

Canon:

Likes girls

Likes cars

Likes to hang with his friends

Fanon:

All of what’s given in canon

But he’s actually HILARIOUS

And maybe a SoundCloud rapper

The fandom doesn’t talk about Quil enough and I want that to change

Embry

Canon:

Has some sense

Pretty chill overall

Fanon:

Same as canon but WE FINALLY LEARN WHO HIS DAD IS

I feel like it’s Sam’s dad but I want confirmation

WHAT IS THE TRUTH

off the top of my head i’m tagging @rosaliehalee @bellas-dumptruck-ass @fucksmeyer @clearwaterss @embrythecall @that-crooked-smile @witchyangela and absolutely anybody who wants to do this!!!

[ruby-dear]

all of them except 77, 78, 81, 92 and 96

Ember, I know this was you. I’m doing it, but that’s 93 questions you’re asking for so they’re going under a cut. 

1. Talk about your first love. There have been a lot of those, so let me talk about the first one I really remember. I was in eighth grade, at the time, and she wasn’t exactly a great person looking back but she was cool and confident and she liked me, and she called me her best friend, and probably the best school-related memory I’ve ever had was her tackle-hugging me from across a classroom. I didn’t even realize I liked girls until she’d pretty much left my life completely. Maybe I’m looking at it through rose-tinted glasses now, but I think that’s okay, sometimes.  2. What’s the most beautiful songs you’ve ever heard in your opinion? Most of my favorite songs are Owl City, especially the older stuff. It has a soft, dreamlike vibe to it that I find really pretty even when it’s depressing. 3. How’s your heart feeling right now? Pretty good, I think? 4. What kind of self care is your favorite to do? The fun stuff. Bath bombs, makeup, fancy shampoo. Retail therapy actually works pretty well for me, even if a lot of the time I don’t even buy anything. 5. What’s your skincare routine? Um... Shower? 6. How did you get to be so beautiful? Natural talent and carefully learned confidence. 7. Do you have any stuffed animals? Oh, do I. I have like, seventy Webkinz, and that’s without getting into anything else. You could say I collect plushes, even if I don’t do it as actively now. I have a couple of Eevee plushes, too - I’d say I want to own all of them one day, but I’m like, 95% sure that’s not possible. 8. Best trip you’ve ever been on? Once, we went to Prince Edward Island for a week, and my mom surprised me by meeting up with my best friend’s family, who happened to have gotten a room at our hotel for one night. I think that probably wins. 9. Favorite thing about your room? That it’s starting to look like it belongs to me, even if I want to move somewhere else. 10. Opinion on love? It takes work, but it’s worth it.

11. Are you affectionate? Around people I’m comfortable with, definitely. 12. Who do you look up to? The people who have enough confidence to be unapologetically be themselves.

13. Favorite poet? Robert Frost. When I was eleven, I found a book of his poems, and I loved that book so much I didn’t pay any attention in English class at all.

14. Song that makes you happy? How about one that calms you down when you’re in a bad place? There’s a lot of songs that make me happy. Hard to go wrong with the Pokemon theme, though. As for things that calm me down... It’s Alright by Mother Mother and Misguided Ghosts by Paramore have both got me through a lot.

15. Do you play an instrument? No. I was supposed to learn piano in seventh grade, but I couldn’t read the sheet music so they never let me play, and I tried to learn guitar multiple times but it never stuck for the same reason.

16. Do you do art? Using what (pencil, watercolor, etc)? I paint, though not as often as I’d like to! Using acrylics, usually, but watercolors sometimes.

17. Do you dance? What style of dance? I took ballet as a child, til they kicked me out of class, and I still enjoy dancing but I don’t remember any of what I learned.

18. What’s your zodiac sign? Do you believe in astrology? Gemini. I think it might have some kind of truth behind it, but I’m not really one of those all-or-nothing people. It’s just for fun, you know?

19. Favorite old film? I don’t watch a lot of them. Does The Aristocats count?

20. What’s your hairstyle? It’s long and wavy. I’m getting blue highlights soon.

21. What weather is the most beautiful, in your opinion? Light rain. The kind that dries off before you get inside, when the sky is perfectly clear, but it starts falling anyway and it stops just as quickly.

22. What upsets you most about the world? That however hard we try to fix it, we’re unlikely to get very far.

23. Are you in love right now? Yes. At least, I think so.

24. Do you have a crush? If so, talk about them! I have a girlfriend. Is that the same thing? She’s cute and funny and she thinks the same things about me for some reason, and she knows exactly how much of a disaster I can be and hasn’t run away yet.

25. Do you have pets? Talk about something sweet about them! I have a cat, Little Prince. His sister died about a month ago, and she was the one who usually kept me company (total lap-cat), but ever since he’s usually either close to where I am or comes when I call him over.

26. Do you have a lucky number? Any multiple of seven, but especially fourteen. They’re my favorite numbers for the same reason.

27. Have you ever wished on a star? What about on a fallen eyelash? I try to wish on stars, when I see them. Eyelashes I’m usually more annoyed about than anything.

28. Do you believe emoji spells to work? I think anything has the potential to work, given the right amount of effort and intent. That said, I don’t think you’re going to accomplish anything drastic.

29. Do you believe in magic in general? Oh, definitely. Just look at the world we live in. How can you not believe in magic when it’s all around you? The night sky without air pollution, the sunlight dancing on the water, candy cane white hot chocolate - it’s everywhere, in everything.

30. What’s the most beautiful thing in life, In your opinion? Everything. There’s something beautiful in everything, if you look for it. Today, let’s say the feeling of sliding around on a hardwood floor in fluffy socks, dancing along to one of your favorite songs.

31. Opinion on the color pink? What about baby blue? As a kid, I hated pink. I like it now, though. Blue is my color, light blue especially (particularly with star patterns), so I’ve always liked it.

32. What instrumental sound is your favorite? Am I alloawed to say wind chimes? I’ve always thought they sounded super pretty.

33. Do you like the sound of wind? What about the sound of rain? I love them both.

34.Who makes you happy? My friends. All of them, in different ways, the people who are still in my life for various reasons. I love them.

35. What makes you happy? Light rain, strong wind, good music. My cat’s soft meow when I wake him up by accident. White peppermint hot chocolate. Fall colors, string lights, Halloween and winter holidays. Ice and snow and skating, dressing up for no apparent reason. The trick to it all is finding new things every day.

36. Imagine your ideal life, the life you wish to make, what will that look like? A house big enough for a family. A degree of some kind hanging on the wall. A life where I’m making things because that’s what I love, and I can try new things just for fun, where I don’t have to worry about money so much. The chance to get married someday, maybe.

37. Do you wear makeup? If so what’s your favorite type of makeup or specific makeup product? Favorite store to buy makeup? I do! Unless someone else is doing it for me, I generally keep to lipstick and eyeshadow. I’ve never been especially picky about what brands I use, but I usually go to Nyx because it’s on my usual route when I go on shopping trips, and I’m kind of attached now. Plus, nowhere else I’ve been in person has as many bold colours.

38. Do you wear dresses? If so what’s your favorite dress you own? I like wearing dresses. My favorite that I still have is a longer black dress, and it’s in serious need of either repair of retirement, but I got it for $20 as a cosplay outfit last year and it served its purpose. I wear it around still, sometimes, because it’s generally an easy fix.

39. Ever been heartbroken? How do you deal with it? Yeah, a few times. I vent to my friends, usually, and then I eat ice cream and listen to gnash for a while and eventually I start to feel better.

40. Who’s your closest friend? What do you love about them?

41. Introvert or extrovert? Kinda both? It’s complicated.

42. Do you like MBTI? What’s your MBTI? Is that... Fuck, is that the one with the letters? I think I got ENFP last time, and when I was younger it was INFP.

43. Would you be a fairy, a mermaid, a vampire, a siren, a or an angel? I’ve had people tell me I have ‘fae vibes’ before, so let’s go with that and hope it’s not offensive.

44. What’s the best song a friend has ever introduced to you? I don’t remember enough of them to feel good about picking one. I basically only listen to music I’m recommended now.

45. Parlez-vous français? A little, by virtue of being Canadian and having driven through Quebec. Not enough to carry on a conversation.

46. Most beautiful place you’ve been to? Prince Edward Island, hands down. It’s gorgeous.

47. Where/when do you truly feel at home? When there’s a light breeze, and the perfect song is playing, and the people I love are there. When we’re laughing with each other.

48. Does smiling put you in a better mood? Try it right now, you’re smile is gorgeous! I don’t think it does, honestly? But it does tend to happen when I’m happy.

49. Favorite shoe you own? These ankle boots I got secondhand that have little metal stars on them. I’m gonna be so upset when they finally wear out and I need new ones.

50. Can you walk in stilettos? Do you like them? God, no, I’ve tried. Any heel that’s too sharp or pointy or tall is a major problem for me. It’s part of what makes finding shoes such a pain.

51. Do you feel loved? Not always, but yeah. When I remember, or when I ask, or when I’m reminded.

52. How do you express love to those you care about? I try to tell them, but I’m also the type to engage in constant teasing. I’m the friend that punches you in the arm as a show of affection.

53. Favorite term(s) of endearment? The more creative ones. The basics don’t do much for me, honestly, but it’s more about the person saying them anyway.

54. Most romantic thing someone’s ever done for you? Make me feel like I don’t have to try so hard to feel like myself.

55. When is the happiest you’ve ever been? Walking the downtown city streets in winter. It was cold, sure, but it was gorgeous and I finally felt independent for a while.

56. Are you happy right now? Yeah, I’d say so.

57. What makes you smile? Bad jokes, among other things.

58. Do you laugh a lot? Yeah. A lot more than I used to.

59. What’s your favorite kind of aesthetic? Punk/scenecore. They’ve really influenced my more recent style choices.

60. Do you want to marry for love or for some other reason (like money)? Love, definitely.

61. What would your dream wedding look like? Do you want to get married? With someone I love, and the other people I love there too. Somewhere beautiful. I think I do, someday, but it’s not something I’m so worried about.

62. Favorite flower? Roses. Blue Moon Hybrid Tea Roses, in particular, are especially pretty.

63. Favorite artist? I don’t really have one. I do enjoy looking at art, though.

64. Favorite music artist? Owl City.

65. How kind do you think you are? Is kindness important to you? I don’t know. People seem to think I’m kinder than I believe I am. It’s important to me, yeah, to try and help people and to do nice things.

66. Ever made a playlist for someone? A few times. They were never anything special, as far as I’m concerned.

67. Do you have anything you do to physically comfort you when your sad? Such as a favorite blanket? Or a relaxing bath? Long, warm baths and cuddling with my cat. Warm blankets and stories with happy endings.

68. Early bird or night owl? Night owl. I’m a night person.

69. Morning routine? Wake up, do nothing for a while, actually get out of bed and figure out breakfast. While that’s going on, try and figure out if anything important is happening today.

70. Night routine? Get comfortable, then write or daydream til I fall asleep.

71. What is the most lovely quality a person could have in your opinion? Self-confidence and a willingness to help others.

72. Do you cry often? Does crying help you get the emotions out? Do you feel better after? I tend to hold back my feelings til they all fall out. So I end up crying at least twice a month, usually. It helps, yeah.

73. Do you like hugs? From people I feel comfortable with.

74. When was the last time you kissed someone? On the lips? Never.

75. Are you small or tall? Small. I’m 5′0.

76. Do you like wholesome memes? Yes. They’re cute.

79. Have you ever lived in a different country than you currently live in? Nope. I’ve never lived outside this city, only been on trips.

80. Do you like plane flights? Airports? I’ve only flown once, and I was two, so I don’t remember it very well.

82. The beach or a forest? Sand or bugs? Depends on the day. Today, though, forest.

83. What time of day do you tend to be in the best mood? Evening, usually.

84. Do you push yourself to act together and in a good mood even when you aren’t? Yeah, when I’m stressed.

85. Favorite kind of tree? Either maple or pine. I’m Canadian, what can I say?

86. Do you care about the health of the Earth? Yes, but there’s only so much one person can do.

87. What did you like most about your childhood, if anything? Field trips. Adulthood is sorely lacking in field trips.

88. Do you read a lot? What’s your favorite book? I used to. These days I still read, but it’s mostly fanfiction. My favorite books, though, are Tamora Pierce’s Emelan series and the first two books of Kenneth Oppel’s Silverwing trilogy.

89. What are you most nostalgic for at the moment? Trick-or-treating.

90. What’s your favorite personality trait you have? I try to let the people I love know that I love them.

91. List at least ONE thing you love about your appearance. I have pretty great hair.

93. Do you worry a lot? Constantly.

94. The dazzling lights of the city or the relaxing countryside? The city. The countryside’s nice, but the streetlights and the city skyline are what make me feel at home.

95. Ever changed the shoelaces on one of your shoes? For what reason? I actually don’t know how to tie laces, so no. I’ve never been able to pick it up. I might get someone sense to, if I could find cool enough laces.

97. Do you like doing little acts of kindness? Yeah. It feels good to make people happy, you know?

98. How’s your day/night going? Pretty good! I did just spend over an hour on this, but I finished it, so that’s an accomplishment of its own.

[haledamage]

Kira Grace Kingston

female, she/her

5'6”, slender build

shoulder-length, straight dark-brown hair

pale, lightly freckled skin

light brown eyes

bisexual (though I play her in-game as straight because I just really connected with the all-male Unit Bravo for some reason)

Taurus, born 28 April 1992; 25 at the beginning of Book 1, turns 26 between Book 1 and 2

left-handed

Romance: all of them, I’m using the same Detective for all routes

(infodump about her under the cut, for my own purposes mostly but also for anyone interested)

--Was inspired to become a cop to help people after having one help her when she really, really needed it. Wanted to pay it forward, so to speak.

--Kira is a natural leader and very good at deduction and problem solving (it’s her second highest stat, after people/psychology). She would have likely gone out for detective soon anyway, but didn’t think she was ready or old enough to be in charge of the whole station yet and was surprised when the promotion came. The rest of the station had been secretly considering her their boss for years before Detective Reele retired, but Kira somehow has no idea.

--Totally shot Adam. Feels really bad about it but would never tell him that.

--Will drink tea or coffee, but prefers tea. Her favorites are cinnamon tea and masala chai. If she’s drinking coffee, she prefers the sugary, flavored, Starbucks-like variety, but will sometimes drink it black just to unnerve people (people mostly being Tina).

--Doesn’t wear much make-up, but likes to paint her nails. Usually black or some other dark color, a “layover from her misspent youth.”

--Wears contacts. Has gold-framed glasses that she wears when she has to, but hates them. She’s farsighted, so if for some reason she can’t wear her contacts, she only puts on the glasses for reading.

--Plays guitar and lap steel guitar. Prefers to play blues music, but can play just about any genre. A pretty good singer, but very shy about it. Probably only Rebecca and Tina have ever heard her sing as far as she knows. (she sings to herself at her desk sometimes, but doesn’t realize it. All of UB have probably noticed; Felix definitely has, and is likely waiting for a good opportunity to tease her about it)

--She’s always been very close with Rebecca. They’re both rather independent-minded, so she didn’t mind her mother’s absences so much. Mum was always there when she needed her, and always willing to listen, and that’s what mattered. Now that she knows what she does, Kira is sure that she’s called her mother while she was on a mission before, but Rebecca still always answered, and that fact makes her respect and admire her mum even more.

--Lost a bet to Verda in regards to The Reveal. Verda had said the Murphy case and its oddities were supernatural in nature, Kira said it was science experiments gone awry. Technically, they were both right, but Verda was more right. Kira looks forward to one day being able to tell him, even if she’ll be out £50 for it.

--The only reason Kira isn’t some reclusive hermit is because of Tina Poname. Tina and Kira met when they were both in a very low place, and have lifted each other up and helped put each other back on their feet. Their friendship is very important to Kira, and the fact that she can’t tell Tina that the Hot Secret Agents they’re working with are Hot Secret Agent Vampires is the hardest part of The Reveal. She’s not used to keeping secrets from Tina.

--Tina and Kira have a monthly movie night. One of them picks the movie and the other picks the food, then they swap the next month. It’s more like an adult slumber party than anything else, really, lots of wine and gossip and venting if need be. It’s a tradition going back years now and neither would miss it for the world.

--Is very good with people, it’s her highest stat, but doesn’t actually enjoy being around them much. Very much an introvert, prefers silence and solitude or the company of close friends only. She works very hard to be as approachable as she is.

--Curses like a sailor. Poor Nate.

--Loves to read. Anything and everything. You put a book in front of her and she’ll read it. Mysteries are a favorite.

--Her favorite color is wintergreen like Adam’s eyes.

--Apartment style would be somewhere between cosy and dark. Kind of a Spooky Grandma’s House vibe. Lush fabrics and textures, soft sofas and chairs, but subdued colors. Black, gray, navy blue, with pale blue and wintergreen accents. Artwork is mostly made by locals or by friends from university. Bookshelves nearly overflowing. Apartment is kept clean, but always looks a bit cluttered.

--Preferred clothing style is casual but professional. Jeans, most often paired with a t-shirt or button-up shirt. Mostly long sleeves, but with the sleeves pushed up to her elbows. Usually black, sometimes white or gray, very, very rarely dark green or dark blue. Black leather jacket when it’s cold. Almost always wears black boots; she paid more for those boots than she did for her car (but that says more for how little she paid for the car than how expensive her boots actually are).

--Speaks seven languages. English, Sign Language, Spanish, French, German, Welsh, and, because someone dared her to at university, Sindarin Elvish. With the exception of the elvish, she learned most of them out of necessity or exposure.

--English literature major. Doesn’t serve much in her job, but she’s still proud of it.

--Very shy when it comes to flirting. She hates it about herself. She’s very confident and self-assured in almost every other situation, but if someone starts showing the slightest bit of genuine interest in her she flusters very easily.

--Dated Bobby in year one at university for a couple months. With him in journalism and her in English lit, they had a lot of class overlap early on, and he was familiar and clearly interested and that was enough, for a while. She regrets that she fell so easily for his flirting and has resolved since to not be such an “easy mark” in the future. Hasn’t dated anyone since and hasn’t wanted to (until UB barge into her office, obviously). Kind of hates him, but would never let him know that; she is, instead, very meticulously polite to him, never any more or less.

--At the beginning of Book 1, she has 4 tattoos. Gets a 5th one during the 2 months between Book 1 and Book 2.      -a small, stylized crown on her right wrist (Rebecca has a matching one that she hides under her watch band at work) because Kingston     -bars of music wrapped around her right bicep (watercolour-style effect behind it - the music is Tom Petty’s “Won’t Back Down”)     -a quote on the inside of her left bicep (“I have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine and rage the likes of which you would not believe. If I cannot satisfy the one, I will indulge the other.”― Mary Shelley, Frankenstein)     -a large full-color floral piece from her left hip almost to her knee (forget-me-nots for her father, lupines for her mother, lavender roses and verbena for herself)     -new tattoo is a simple, black crescent moon on the back of her neck to symbolize a new beginning (keeps it hidden under her hair most of the time, especially at work).

--Preferred method of working out is rock climbing/wall climbing. Has some combat training, mostly just from the police academy, but she tries to attend aikido lessons when she has time. She likes that it lets her defend herself without being stronger than her opponent, especially now that she deals with the supernatural so much.

--Kira didn’t realize how attached she’d grown to Unit Bravo until the attack on her apartment. She wanted to stay to help her team; on every route, she has to be dragged away in order to get her to leave. Completely, 100% ride or die for all of them.

Kira is my only Detective and I’m using her in all four routes (sorry, folks, I can’t do the Love Triangle. I tried, but I can’t, it already hurts and I’m not strong enough). It’s been very interesting, since she has the same personality no matter what, to see in what ways she connects with each member of Unit Bravo, and the slight changes in her personality stats based on how she responds to romance-specific scenes.

Adam: arguably my “canon” romance for her, though I legitimately and completely love all of them. On his route, her stats skew a little more toward Stubborn and Impulsive because she’s spiteful and he’s kind of an ass, especially to start with. 

They’re both headstrong and natural leaders, so they butt heads a lot in terms of authority. She doesn’t like that Adam tries to order her around, he doesn’t like that she refuses to listen to orders sometimes out of spite. But when they actually try to get along, they agree more often than not and could probably make an amazing team given time. 

She’s completely, head-over-heels in love with him, but she hasn’t figured it out yet, though she knows she feels something for him. He makes her feel safe, which is how she knows that she’s in deep. 

On Adam’s route, Nate is Kira’s best friend. Poor guy’s gonna be stuck between the immovable object and the unstoppable force for 7 fucking books.

Nate: On Nate’s route, Kira’s stats tend more toward Cautious, and also a bit more Heart on the Heart/Mind scale. 

Of all of them, Nate would be the one Kira would be most surprised to find herself falling for. She’s not much of a romantic, generally, but she’s also never had anyone look at her like Nate does, or treat her like she’s something precious and important. She feels completely off balance with him and has no idea how to react. She has never been so overwhelmed with a desire to kiss someone before. 

Personality-wise, they have a lot in common, both are good with people, compassionate, linguistically talented, and avid readers; to anyone except Kira, them getting together makes perfect sense. He probably doesn’t like how stubborn and foul-mouthed she is, but between Adam and Mason, he’s used to dealing with it. 

On Nate’s route, Mason is Kira’s best friend. No one is more surprised about that than they are, and they aren’t really sure how that happened.

Felix: On Felix’s route, Kira skews more toward Easygoing and Impulsive. 

In a word, Felix helps Kira relax. She’s a bit of a workaholic and he brings her out of her shell and reminds her that she’s more than just Detective Kingston. It’s refreshing and overwhelming. Romance with Felix is easy. 

He’s the only one where she doesn’t end up 100% shy because, even though she still gets horribly flustered by him, he doesn’t make her as tongue-tied as the others do. Maybe it’s because he’s so much less intense than the others, but also she kind of feels like she’s always known him. 

She wants to show him the world, all the little things about being human that she’s always taken for granted but he never had in Echo World. Paper airplanes and creepy travelling carnivals and movie theater popcorn and photo booths and everything. They’ll be good for each other, but them joining forces is probably very bad for everyone else. 

On Felix’s route, Nate is Kira’s best friend. Unlike with Adam, he isn’t so much trapped between two opposing forces as he is an exhausted parent trying to corral overly-curious children.

Mason: On Mason’s route, Kira’s stats tend even more toward Genuine than they do on other routes, as well as Stubborn. 

On the surface Mason and Kira probably don’t look like they’d work, but really I think they’re the pairing that makes the most sense. Mason doesn’t drain her social batteries as much as the others, even at the beginning when he’s as hostile toward her as possible. They both enjoy the quiet, and that’s where the first romantic feelings from her would form, in the calm and silent comfort she feels with him. 

But obviously, it doesn’t start romantic even a little bit. At the beginning, she’s neither intimidated nor put off by his sharp, brusque personality, and she’s very flustered and intimidated by his intense manner of flirting, though she’s not really put off by it either. She doesn’t know how to respond to it (though he clearly enjoys how she reacts), but he makes her feel desired in a way she never has before. There’s a certain comfort to knowing that he only wants her physically, that he’s straightforward in his interests. 

I imagine that she figures out she’s falling for him after he does something small that should be innocuous, some little off-hand affection that he didn’t even think about and she just goes “oh shit, I’m in love with Mason.” 

On Mason’s route, Felix is Kira’s best friend. He definitely sees them falling for each other long before they see it and does everything he can to get them to stop being idiots and realize that they’re in love.

[charlie-leau]

The Predator review - Chapter 10

Here’s my tenth review of The Predator by my dear friend @runyxwrites​! It’s still a mix of my reactions and thoughts, it’s still a mess, but it’s still hopefully funny and full of gifs (which do not belong to me, so credits to all the amazing gif makers out there, you’re life savers).

Happy reading.

Chapter 10 - Silencing

=> Okay so judging by where we left things off in chapter 9, I except the tension in chapter 10 to skyrocket! And if chapter 8 changed things emotionally for Tristan and Morana (because you know, they opened up their hearts a little), this one will definitely change things, well, uh, physically. Yay to that!

(Also, I can already tell this is going to be a tough one to review. Hence why I procrastinated yesterday. Ugh.)

 PART 1 – Morana.

 Let’s recap first, shall we?

My baby Morana is all alone in this world. Her father is a jerk who doesn’t love her. He sees her as his property, as an asset, a pawn he can use to serve his own interests. Her mother abandoned her when she was a little child.

Morana is all alone and she grew up in a dark, dark world.

Yet, she remains good. She is light in the darkness. She longs for belonging, she longs for freedom, but most of all, she longs for someone to see her, actually see her. Not just her body, but all of her. Her mind and her heart too. She longs for a connection to someone. But most of all, she wants to mean something to someone (hello Yennefer of Vengerberg vibes). She wants someone to love her, someone who will accept all the love she has to offer.

Morana feels intensely, deeply.

Problem is, Morana has grown up in a dark, dark world, where she isn’t allowed to feel anything, much less show it, otherwise she will die. She has been raised around sharks thirsty for the blood of her (shouldn’t that make them vampires, then?). She is crippled in a way, disconnected from her own emotions. Her light is dimmed and she doesn’t feel alive. Just cold and alone.

That is until she meets Tristan Caine.

Oh, the line between love and hatred has never been thinner than with these two.

Morana hates Tristan with a burning passion and so does he. And, coincidentally, it is what makes them so good for one another. Because, even though it is in a somewhat very unhealthy way, they make each other feel something. They make each other alive.

I think there is a reason why, all jokes aside, the way they stare at each other is so important. The way Tristan stares at her (because he is not so good at communicating, sadly) is important, because he is the one who actually sees her and understands her.

And that profoundly disturbs Morana.

In chapter 9, she’s caught in a swirl of emotions. That rainy night with Tristan has sent her mind reeling. I noticed, in my original review of The Predator (when it was still a ff) that they managed to connect at night, in the darkness, but when light came, it all faded away. Except, it did not fade away. Morana is acutely aware of that and it disturbs her. She’s conflicted because she has sworn to hate Tristan, has sworn to kill him, yet she can’t help but think about him. As much as she wants to detach herself from him, she’s unable to let go.

But Morana isn’t just caught in a whirlwind because of Tristan. She’s caught in a whirlwind because her father has decided to humiliate her, because a man has violated her boundaries and because Tristan, of all people, was the one who notices and does something about it. And what does he do, you will ask me? He dares her to do something, knowing full well she’ll rise to the bait. In that way, he helps.

It is also the last straw for Morana. She gets up and leaves and Tristan finds her in the bathroom where she is emotionally unstable. She has been feeling so much for so long, and has never been given the opportunity to let any of the things she feels out. Tristan coming in after her is like adding fuel to the fire burning inside her. And for a second, things clear in her mind and she is capable of making a rational decision. She can’t get back at her father directly, but she will by fucking the enemy. Plus, she will be able to exorcize all the mixed feelings Tristan has put inside her.

It will be her catharsis.

 Part 2 – Tristan.

 Let’s be honest, Tristan is a much tougher nut to crack.

In chapter 8 & 9, much to everyone’s surprise, he opens up. First, he refuses to let Morana sleeps at Dante’s, then, he tells her about his sister (whom I assume we’ll hear more of later) and finally, he fixes Morana’s car (and through that, he fixes a piece of her too). That’s a lot in a very short span of time, even more so for a man as secretive as him.

But, what does all of this tell us?

First, he has claimed Morana’s life as much as he has her death. Second, there are chinks in his armor. And third, he does have a heart.

Except, he doesn’t want us and most of all, he doesn’t want Morana, to see it. So, when Amara gives our girl her keys back, what does he do? He looks away.

Here’s what I had to say about that a couple years ago:

“There are a lot of things left unsaid between them, the most obvious one being the reason why Tristan hates her so much. So, how do they talk without actually talking?

Easy.

They stare. They glance. They gaze. They look. Their eyes say more than their mouths. And their eyes don’t lie. Because the emotions they convey are raw, primal and true. So, so true. Their entire dynamic, relationship is built on honesty. It’s a strong foundation, they’ll need that later. I really think that having Tristan look away from her when she gets the thing she loves most back, thanks to him, is not random. It also means a lot. He’s hiding something. The weaknesses in his armor, perhaps? Because honestly, at this point, it’s safe to assume that there is something wrong with his hatred. Does he really hate her? Are his feelings toward her changing?”

This means that, much like Morana, Tristan hasn’t been able to shake off the feelings that rainy night stirred inside him. And just he hasn’t been able to shake off his feelings, he is unable to take his eyes off her at dinner.

I’m convinced that, as much as Tristan disturbs Morana, she disturbs him even more. She never reacts the way he expects her to. He goes out of his way to intimidate her. He tells her he hates her, he tells her he’ll kill her. She never backs down. She may not win all their staring contests, and God knows how many of them there have been, but she doesn’t submit to him in any way. She stands her ground against him, even pushes back. He’s warned her off him, told her not to invade his territory, yet, she still finds ways to etch herself deeper into him, into his skin and into his heart.

And he both loathes and loves it equally.

That leads us to him opening up even more, in a much, much, cruder way and to him admitting to Morana that he wants her.

That brings us to chapter and the sex.

Part 3 – Tristan and Morana.

 This sex scene is a perfect summary of their relationship so far. There’s some push and pull. Tristan is his usual blunt self and Morana isn’t having any of it. She almost runs away from him. Morana is always running away from him (remember when she asked to work with Dante instead of him) and he always chases after her, Predator that he is.

But above all, this sex scene is a fight, against each other and against themselves (I will not write down the lexical field of fighting but just so you know, I could. There are plenty instances).

They hate each other, but I think they hate themselves more for wanting each other so. But, why do they want each other so terribly? Where does this all-consuming need come from?

Well, as I’ve been saying, they make each other feel alive. In that dark, gloomy, bloody world of theirs, where neither is allowed to express feelings and emotions, they come alive in their hatred for each other. Together, they’re not so alone anymore (though I’d argue Morana is lonelier than Tristan. He has Dante, she has no one. Literally.) And that is also why they hate each other so, because they’ve found something real with the enemy, with someone that is forbidden.

Morana, in that scene, is desperate to feel something. She is also taking over control of her body again. Her father tried to strip her of that power she holds over herself by letting one of his men grope her. She’s reclaiming that power hard, by letting none other than the enemy fuck her on a granite counter. Morana, who has been used and stared at and preyed on, is finally getting some back. That body people want to own belongs solely to her once more, as it should be. I’d argue this scene is all about her, her pleasure, her power over herself and over Tristan.

Because, try as he might, Tristan is not entirely in control. If you do not believe me, think for one second. The guy followed the daughter of his enemy to the bathroom, fucked her hard and well on the counter, and was almost caught doing so. For all that he holds her neck in a very dominating way, for all that he muffles her, he is the one who has lost it. If they’d been caught… he would have died and probably so would she. And he doesn’t give a fuck about that. Make of that what you wish.

Moreover, Tristan, in that scene, avoids Morana’s gaze. They say eyes are the windows to our souls and it’s even truer in his case. He looks away from because he’s afraid of what she’ll see in his eyes, what she might find out about him. Also, he’s probably a little afraid of what he might see in her eyes too. They are so close, yet so far apart, it makes me a little sad.

What happens after all that?

They hate each other and themselves more. And they’re not satisfied. Why?

Because even though their bodies have been satisfied, even though their bodies are spent, their hearts and minds aren’t. They haven’t fully given in to whatever it is that burns between them. They haven’t touched, haven’t kissed. They haven’t looked the other in the eyes. Until they do, I fear they will never be satisfied.

Here’s another quote of myself (I swear I’m not a narcissist) to shed some more light on this matter:

“They’re not out of each other’s system because they didn’t have sex. He just thrust into her until they both orgasmed. This is not sex. This is… I don’t know how to call it but it’s not sex.

They denied each other what they both wanted, what their bodies were craving: touch, intimacy. They listened to their minds and kept walls of concrete so thick even Hulk wouldn’t be able to destroy them.”

They both wanted more, but neither allowed themselves to take it. Neither wants to be the first to break, to give in. But one of them has to break. One of them has to take that first step.

 Part 4 – The aftermath

 My girl Morana, strong as ever, braces herself before she walks out of the bathroom, ready to be used and humiliated again.

“Break his arm next time.” Tristan tells her and this is yet again an underrated quote of his. Because this shows, he cares. He would never force himself upon a woman and he cannot stand those who do, especially when they force themselves upon the woman who has, much to his surprise, managed to get under his skin.

But Morana doesn’t see that he cares. She’s ashamed and hurt and angry. So she lashes out at him. And he lashes back.

“Once was more than enough.”

The blow lands where it’s supposed to. But it’s only that, a blow. Because Tristan, who has always been honest, texts Morana again.

“How many notches does that bedpost have?”

I wouldn’t go as far as calling him jealous, but he’s definitely checking the waters. And I bet he wants his notch on her bedpost to destroy all the others.

“Apparently, you’re not out of my system.”

Of course, Morana isn’t out of his system. He is not out of hers either. But for now, she doesn’t have time to linger on any of this. Her father knows something is up and sadly, here ends this review.

[dherzogblog]

songs/19

“I listen so you don't have to”

Hey everyone, we’re back! enjoy some music and musings from the last year

Make sure to click on there bold type for music links and extras!

Lizzo- Juice Lizzo burst into 2019 with a hit song, huge album and wildly successful tour. The “pudding in the proof “. Easily the catchiest tune of the year with an irresistible Bruno Mars 80′s funk vibe, She has the kind of star power and charisma that makes her appealing to just about everyone, including your aunt, who no doubt will be grooving to this on bar mitzvah dance floors for years to come. Blame it on her juice.

Jen Awad- Hungover

Big voiced, post Amy Winehouse soul singer blames it on the juice too. Maybe she was with Lizzo the night before?

Charley Crockett- How Low Can You Go?

Multi ethnic Americana singer/songwriter delivers one of my favorite albums of the year where he effortlessly moves from country to blues to soul. He also recorded one of my favorite country covers of the year (see bottom of this blog for more info on that). His girl is breaking his heart (blame it on the juice again?) on this R&B styled song from a non album single.

Durand Jones and The Indications-  Circles

More sweet 70′s soul, quiet storm style. The swirling strings and Delfonics harmonies would sound perfect coming out of the 8 Track player in your Pinto.

Dr.John- Such A Night (1941-2019)

A true music renaissance man. Starting as a teen in the studios of New Orleans, he learned his trade at the feet of the masters, playing R&B, jazz, and blues with equal skill and feel. The good doctor, (AKA Mac Rebbenack) went on to become an unlikely rock star in the early 70′s with his psychedelic and voodoo inspired Night Tripper alter ego. His long career found him playing several roles along the way, session man, producer, and The Big Easy’s unofficial funk ambassador. I picked this live version of the song because: A. He’s backed beautifully by The Band, B. It’s one of my favorite performances from The Last Waltz, and C. The live setting let’s you hear him stretch out a bit on the keyboards. I watched him perform many times, headlining or sitting in with others at Jazz Fest. No matter what the setting, he always fit right in and found the groove. Piano man, sideman, shaman, there was only one Dr.John.

Van Morrison - Early Days

Like Dr. John, Van’s been around long enough to recall the birth of rock and roll. Throughout his career he never stopped paying tribute to his roots and those who inspired him. You can hear it in his musical references, cover tunes and name checks. At The Hollywood Bowl in October I got to see an unusually joyous performance as he wistfully traced a lifetime of musical influences across R&B, jazz and blues. His latest release is an unabashed love letter to those good old days, three chords and the truth.

Spiral Stairs- Fingerprintz

Scott Kannberg is one of the co-founders of Indie rock legends Pavement. But truth is I never took much of an interest in them. I happened to read about his solo project where he mentioned listening to a lot of  Van Morrison and Nick Lowe while recording. That seemed like a  good enough reason for me to check it out. There are familiar ‘fingerprints” on this one, as you can definitely hear him channeling Van.

Vampire Weekend- This Life

Hardly anyone is ambivalent about Vampire Weekend. Their preppy east coast look, and sleeve wearing, dad rock influences make them polarizing at best. Doesn’t matter to me, I like their catchy hooks, bone dry lyrics, caribbean rhythms, and ringing guitars.This is easily the sunniest song about cheating I ever heard.

The English Beat- Whine and Grind/Stand Down Margaret Ranking Roger (1953-2019)

in January of 1980 England was in the grips of 2 Tone mania, the pop music movement that came dancehall crashing out of the UK Midlands, and for a brief black and white checkered moment, dominated the British charts. At the center of the scene were The Specials whose founder Jerry Dammers launched the 2 Tone label and created the blueprint for it’s sound, inspired by the Jamaican music he heard as a kid. These bands (including The Selecter and Madness), combined ska, reggae and punk that launched a brief music and fashion movement. They dressed in a mod black and white style making the look nearly as important as their sound. For most of these bi-racial bands, the goal was to make you dance AND think, with lyrics focusing on social and political issues affecting young people in Thatcher’s Britain. The track here is a good example of that.

I arrived in London on a traveling seminar ready to check it all out, as a college radio DJ I was already a fan of The Clash’s punky reggae. and I had read several dispatches from the British music tabloids like NME and Melody Maker. First chance I got, I was off to a record store where I stood at a listening station to hear The Special’s debut LP.  I was instantly transformed into a card carrying 2 Tone fan boy. As a student, without much money with a long trip ahead, I couldn't afford The Specials album, but I did buy a 45 by the label’s latest signing, The Beat.

The A side was a cover of Smokey Robinson & The Miracle’s “Tears Of A Clown”. It took a minute to get used to hearing the Motown classic played in their energetic ska sound. The tune ends with Ranking Roger “toasting” over the track reggae DJ style, not something heard much outside of Jamaica back then. Side B featured Roger taking lead and riding over a bouncy stop and start rhythm titled “Ranking Full Stop”. It was an instant 2 Tone classic, and I now had a new favorite band.

The Beat (AKA The English Beat) after just one 2 Tone single, were given their own Go-Feet label and releasing a full length album later that year. Their songs seemed to have a slightly more authentic Jamaican sound than the others, dubbier, upbeat and fun. In addition they dabbled in world music and afropop long before it became chic. I saw them perform on their first US tour in Boston later that year.

As the 2 Tone moment waned back home, the group quickly focused on the American audience, touring constantly in the process. The Beat were definitely the band most committed to breaking in the states and nearly did. By the third album, they gained some traction at US radio (particularly here in LA at KROQ) and played the US Festival, but it was too late. The band was already fracturing. Lead singer Dave Wakeling and Roger left unceremoniously in 1983 to form the short lived and mildly successful General Public, while bandmates Andy Cox and David Steele formed the much more successful Fine Young Cannibals. despite some huge hits, they too were short lived.

The original band never reunited. Roger and Wakeling performed together as The Beat for awhile, later each forming his own version. Roger in the UK and Dave in the US. Dave’s version tours constantly to this day. The 2 Tone label didn't last long and the music never truly caught on here. Ultimately suffering the same fate as other short lived UK music fads like Glam Rock or The New Romatics. Their impact was strong enough though to fuel the much maligned ska third wave of the 90′s, and bring Jamaican music a bit farther into the mainstream. All that really remains are the three great studio albums and the memory of their exciting live shows.

I booked the band on a CNN talk show in 1982. I remember they seemed frustrated and were already hinting at a challenged future for the group. Less than a year later they were done for good. I recall desperately wanting them to succeed, bringing my favorite band and the 2 Tone music to the masses. It’s hard to imagine there was a ever a time in your life when a pop group could break your heart like that. 

Foe me and other recovering rude boys/rude girls, the music endures, as does the message.  And today when I hear them streaming into my ear buds, I still want to “move my likkle feet and dance to the beat”, which for the dearly departed Roger I have to think, was always the point.  #loveandunity

The Special- Vote For Me

Politics and social issues remain front and center as the 2 Tone founders return with their first album since the 80′s. Reunited for many years now, this current version of the band boasts more original members of The Fun Boy Three than the original The Specials. That did not stop them from delivering a totally respectable and relevant effort. You can hear dark echos of their classic "Ghost Town” on this dubby tune no doubt inspired by Brexit.

Eddie And The Hot Rods- Do Anything You Wanna Do Barrie Masters (1956-2019)

in 1976/77 Eddie and the Hot Rods stood at the intersection of pub rock and punk as one scene fizzled, and the other burned down everything in its path. The Hot Rods had the classic straight ahead sound of the pub bands plus an attitude that leaned forward into the energy punk would embrace. They enjoyed a brief moment of UK chart success before literally falling into the cracks of the pop music scene. This song, one of my all time favorite singles, sum them up perfectly. Drawing a straight line from Graham Parker to The Clash with a touch of a classic Springsteen working class anthem. In other words....perfect.

Beach Slang- Tommy In The 80′s

When I first saw the title of this song immediately assumed it was a Beach Slang’s tribute to The  Replacements guitarist Tommy Stinson . And even though Tommy himself plays on the track, it is not about him! In fact, it’s actually a tribute to obscure 80′s power popper Tommy Keene. I remembered the name from my MTV days, but honestly had to wiki him for clarification. Despite all these references, the whole thing sounds more inspired by “Jessie’s Girl” than either Tommy. 

The Cars- My Best Friends Girl Ric Ocasek (1941-2019)

Truthfully. I was never a big Cars fan. But in my college days before digital music, you listened to whatever the radio played. And in Boston, they played The Cars a lot. It wasn’t long before they rose from local heroes to national charts toppers. They didn't have the bluesy street cred or swagger of hometown legends Aerosmith or The J Geils Band, but they were our very own neighborhood rock stars. Drummer David Robinson lived in the building next door to Noreen on Comm Ave, and it was always kinda cool to see them strolling around Back Bay or hanging out at a club. Their sound was little cold and metallic for me, but you couldn't deny they crafted pretty great pop and new wave singles. They were omnipresent sound of my college days. The hits literally followed me to MTV and NYC in the 80′s where I often spotted Ric and Paulina strolling hand in hand in Chelsea. This classic love triangle was always my favorite with it’s Tommy James like guitar at the top, handclaps, and unforgettable hook. The band disbanded long ago, but like the classic American automobiles, these songs were built to last.

The Neighborhoods- Don’t Look Down

The Cars were the only Boston group of the era to truly make it big, but that late 70′s scene boasted several other talented bands who scored label deals including: The Nervous Eaters, The Rings, The Paley Brothers, Robin Lane and the Chartbusters, The Fools, The Real Kids, The Stompers, and Mission Of Burma. Later on, The Lyres, The Neats The Del Fuegos, The Mighty Mighty Bosstones, and Murphy’s Law  all managed to find the big time. It was a great time for local music back then. A city filled with students, plenty of clubs to pack on weekends, and college and commercial radio stations willing to play local bands. There were many good acts around town then, and my favorite, without a doubt, were The Neighborhoods. A young, brash power trio led by charismatic lead singer David Minehan. They played a ferocious brand of power pop/punk that would leave their audience breathless. I was certain they were destined for stardom. In the spring of 1979 they released their debut single “Prettiest Girl” on a local label and massive airplay on both college and commercial radio followed. They instantly became the hottest band in town, poised to become the next band from Boston to make it big. But it never happened. Bad luck, poor management and infighting derailed all the momentum. Before you knew it, the gritty street quality that was The ‘Hoods trademark was pushed aside by the synthesized sound of MTV. Over the course of the 80′s and into the 90′s they managed to release some pretty good albums on a variety of indie labels, but it never came together for them. The band reunited and gigs occasionally but hadn’t recorded for many years until right now. Forty years later, the neighborhood may not look the same, but their sound and spirit somehow survive. I suppose there’s something tragic and romantic about a great band lost to time, remembered only by the few who saw them way back when. They really were great, but I guess you had to be there.

Jesse Mailn - Meet Me At The End Of The World Again

New York’s favorite son, soul survivor, and street poet Jesse Malin is back. He’s been around long enough to understand that “When it all blows up, when it all goes down, when it makes you sick, but you’re still around” is victory in itself.  It’s the only life he knows, so what can a poor boy do? 

Brittany Howard- Stay High

This is from Alabama Shakes lead singer's excellent solo debut, unselfconsciously celebrating private moments spent with a lover on this  rootsy and gentle ballad. Her soulful falsetto conveys the kind of lustful bliss you might expect from Al Green or Prince. 

Mississippi All Stars- Mean Old World

Bear with me. This one is tangled up in the roots of several southern rock legacies and is going to take a minute to unpack. The All Stars are led by Luther and Cody Dickinson, sons of legendary Memphis musician and wild man Jim Dickinson. They decided to cover T Bone Walker’s Mean Old World,  a blues number once recorded by Eric Clapton and Duane Allman as part of the historic Derek And The Dominos sessions. The track, featuring their dad Jim, did not make the original release but was later unearthed on an expanded reissue. Still with me?  So, as a bit of a tribute, the guys recorded their own version of the tune and invited Duane Betts, son of Allman Brothers guitarist Dickey Betts to record an Eat a Peach inspired guitar run at the end.

And oh yeah, Jason Isbell is on it as well.

Got all that? 

Samantha Fish- Kill Or Be Kind

Have seen Samantha live several times over the past few years. She’s a very good blues/rock guitarist, vocalist and an exciting live performer. On the sultry “Kill or be Kind” she gives her lover an ultimatum. Fun fact: One of my son’s best friends from high school (Kate Pearlman) wrote two tracks on the album!

Jade Jackson- Bottle It Up

Second album from this promising up and coming alt country artist. She’s on the super cool Anti label which providing immediate credibility and her albums are produced by Social D frontman Mike Ness. And when she’s not on the road she waitress’s at her parent’s restaurant in central California. I’m not sure you can get any more country than that.

The Highwomen- Redesigninig Women

Inspired by The Highwaymen of Willie, Waylon, Johnny and Kris, this all female country “supergroup” quartet is out to break the stereotypes in country music with some really fine songs. While the male Highwaymen banded together to rescue careers in decline, these women (Brandi Carlisle, Amanda Shires, Marren Morris, and Natalie Hemby), are all on the rise. This song is lot of fun.

John Prine- Unwed Fathers

John Prine is back with a remake of his heartbreaking tale of teenage pregnancy. He’s joined this time Margo Price. I got to see Prine live this fall at the beautiful Anson Ford Amphitheater here in LA. His simple, plain spoken lyrics and songs are timeless. I attended the show with my pal David Kissinger who observed that despite health issues, “Prine remains an national songwriting treasure and his performance was as life affirming as you’ll ever see.” Can’t say it any better than that.

Shovels And Rope- Mississippi “Nuthin

Ever wonder whatever happened to that perfect couple from high school? You know, the high school quarterback and the prom queen? This one ain’t “Glory Days”. Our QB peaked in high school and never makes it back to the end zone again, plus he's tortured by the success his old flame enjoys. His anguish and desperation are palpable in this barn burner of a song whose vocals draw inspiration from June & Johnny and John & Exene.

The Delines- Eddie and Polly

Eddie and Polly are young and in love, and doomed. Vocalist Amy Boone’s world weary vocals always sound like it’s 3AM. This one won’t do much for your holiday spirit, but it’s haunting melody might stay with you throughout it.

Yola - Love all Night (Work All Day)

Love the one your with is (at least after work) is the basic idea on this track from this UK performer’s debut long player. Produced by Dan Auerbach of The Black Keys, the collection is full of excellent retro soul-folk. There was a fair amount of buzz in front of the release and she more than lives up to it including a nomination for a Best New Artist Grammy. 

Mavis Staples + Norah Jones- I’ll Be Gone

First recorded effort form this duo. A bittersweet ballad that softly and soulfully looks ahead to a final salvation. But Mavis ain’t done yet. She’s still going strong, recording and touring constantly. She knows she may be running out of time, but there’s still work to do. And whenever she’s finally ready, you can be sure she’ll take us there.

Hope you and yours are well.  The Herzog’s wish you the best and look forward to seeing you in the new year.  For those of you who made it this far, thank you. I’ve got a bonus playlist for you. Artists you like playing songs you love:  covers/19 Enjoy.

peace,

Doug

Los Angeles, December 2019 

[overlycaffeinatedwarmage]

So four of us were at MegaCon last weekend and we had a chance to talk KC’s ear off.  We also had a chance to listen to her a bit.  I, of course, took notes.  Here’s what I got.  Please feel free to ask questions about anything I have.  I will flesh out what I can!

Panel notes:

None of her characters are based on real people that she knows. Too much bad shit happens to them. An element of her work that she’s proud of: she uses her history degree with her writing. Favorite mythologies to write are about gods (didn’t mention one particular cultural pantheon). Lots of cross over with various mythologies throughout the world. Makes sense since people travel and talk. Many of the giddy traits cross over, some of the gods are identical across cultures too.

Mythology has everything that Urban Fantasy has in it, romance, heroes, monsters, etc. Really UF is a retelling of the old stories in a modern way. We even have similar stories across stories, just like they did. God in a jar mythology is a common theme (Artemis is in a jar right now dajuan note).

World building: Write what you need for first book, world building wise, never enough pages for world building per book. Don't do all at once. Too much, leave some for future books. Your editor will always tell you to cut it down anyway. You need to know the world and back story even if audience doesn't yet. Audience will know if you contradict something and they will tell you. But don’t box yourself in, don’t let others write your rules, break them if you need to.

Writing is a you learn as you go craft. When you read your old stuff, think to yourself "look how far I’ve come!" rather than cringe at it. You aren't perfect. Enjoy what you are now and learn from it and grow from it. Work on the story, that’s what people care about more than the grammar and perfect characters, those are important but secondary to the story itself.

She knows the major beats of story now, but not all the details yet. Mystery authors are her favorites (Agatha Christie was mentioned several times). Liked mischievous gods, assholes, they more fun. If they are good, watch out! (Daj note, I got big HINT vibes here! Artemis isn't as altruistic as she seems maybe?? Personally, I've been wondering about her for a while. There is definitely more going on with her.)

Stay in genre but make it new, fresh spin: take new things, Pythia, new abilities. Hard to make vampire different, same with witch. Pick new creature to explore. Go back to original myths Bonicon: ox type thing, napalm from butt (need to look up name, I am 100% sure I either misheard or misspelled it). Must do some digging to find new stuff.

Add some realism, how do the characters get money? Stuff like that (ie early Cassie and Billy cheating casinos) Mystery, how keep threat level up? Kill someone else! World expansion: story or character come first? It depends All characters must have an arc. Even supporting characters, must change or not believable. Five characters in a scene, all should have a distinct voice. A friend should be able to tell which character said a line a dialogue Character best friend? Rosier, she would hang out with him (we cheered, loudly).

Personal discussion:

Mircea always a rogue. No one should be surprised by his shit in RtS. It was telegraphed all the way back in TtD.

Cassie is an extrovert who had to learn to be introvert by upbringing. She is learning to let people in now.

Cassie has a woman’s strength, is girly and ok with it. Meant to be a character many women could relate to.

Dory by herself would be boring(?) Dorina is what makes her unique or interesting. She would be more cookie cutter character without Dorina.

KC doesn’t want to write cookie cutter characters or stories.

There are so many characters out there for all types of men (strong, weak, nerdy, whatever) but not all types of women. Cassie is an “everywoman" character that every woman could see an aspect of themselves in. Because think about it, if shit were to hit the fan what would you do? Go out guns blazing or hide behind the sofa? Probably hide behind the sofa.

There was a lot of Tolkien talk about the three whole female characters in those books. I’m a little foggy here because Tolkien is not my thing, (I had to ask who everyone was to be sure I understood, yes I was a little embarrassed). One character was the prize for the king, one was a warrior woman or essentially a “man with boobs," and one was actually a woman with her own agency. There have to be more roles for women in fantasy than this. We deserve better. There is nothing wrong with the warrior woman, but that’s not all woman and many can't see themselves like that. (Daj note I can't see myself in the warrior women and I'm stronger than the average woman. Strength, power is not my strength.  I’m excited to see a wider variety of role models for young women.)

There are at least 3 more books after BtT. Big stuff is coming! No, we didn’t ask what!

KC does not write romances! This has been said before but needs to be reiterated. She writes about people and people have romance, sex, friends, enemies, etc so of course there would be elements of that in the books. Otherwise the characters would not be believable. She does write damn good stories and characters though. All of her characters have arcs, they change because real people change. The bigger the character the bigger the arc. Smaller or side characters have arcs too, though, they just have smaller ones.

There are some obvious hints in books as to what is coming that we are all missing. (No, we didn’t ask what they were. We did our best not to blatantly ask for spoilers. There were things that we would say that she'd just smile at, but I'm not saying what. I'm doing *my* damnedest not to spoil people as well.) People will sometimes pick up the smallest of hints she thinks they will miss though.

Yes, Mircea has a foot fetish. Why not? It's mild as fetishes go really. (We had a good giggle about that.) Again, it's a thing that makes him real. Rian chose Casanova for a reason and it's a BIG reason. If you catch my drift ;) (More giggles and an embarrassing amount of discussion was spent here.)

Rosier speech "fake it, everyone else is too" has gotten her through a lot (daj note, me too. It’s my favorite speech in the series, I give and get it often.)

Again, any errors are mine. I do not speak for Karen Chance so do not hold her to anything that I have written here. Most of this is cobbled together from notes and exhausted, overexcited memory.  She is free to correct me on any errors that I have made, and I sincerely apologize for making them and potentially speaking out of turn. She was an absolute blast to chat with and I am honored to have been given the opportunity to spend a few hours with her this weekend. I will forever claim that she is one of the kindest authors and people that I have met. I know a lot of wicked cool people, so I don't give that praise lightly. Let me know if you have any questions. I’ll will try to answer what I can. If my roomies have anything to add, please feel free! @emberfaye @pritkinspalemoons @annalane

[harlivies]

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but please, for once, let’s not make a generalization out of the shows on The CW. Not the way I’ve been seeing some people do, at least.

With all due respect, Penelope is not Lexa. Legacies is not The 100. Julie Plec isn’t Jason Rothenberg. 

We’ve all been burned and got the emotional scars to show for it, I know. But comparing apples and oranges isn’t going to do us any good, and you just can’t compare Lexa, her situation, and what she represents, to Penelope. 

Not to state the obvious, but Lexa died. She died. Not just that, but her death made absolutely no contribution to the long-run narrative of The 100, and little to none in that particular season’s storyline. Lexa’s whole legacy was destroyed, and she only lives through occasional references made by Clarke, or dreams had by Maddi. Lexa died for nothing but shock value, as well as perpetuating a heteronormative storyline in the long run (don’t @ me) and that is the fact. Jason Rothenberg did wrong by her. The 100 did wrong by her. The CW did wrong by her. 

Jason, the show, and The CW didn’t stop at doing wrong by Lexa, no; they also did wrong by the viewers. Jason deliberately invited fans to the shooting site for the finale, in Vancouver, in order to instill in them (and everyone who eventually had access to the photos and videos being shared that day) a fake notion of security, an illusion of safety because, if Lexa was in the finale, then she couldn’t be dead, right? For months, he lied through his teeth and assured everyone that everything was okay, even after the fact, and that is just abhorrent. Even after the season was done, he refused any form of criticism and tried everything in his power to shut down all protests. And The CW stood by him.

Penelope left the show. She didn’t die, she left. And whether we like it or not, she left in a way that made sense and was fitting to her storyline. Unlike Lexa’s death, Penelope’s departure wasn’t meaningless. In this past episode alone, Penelope was the one to single handedly set things into motion for the finale by exposing both the merge and the truth about Landon’s mother. These were two key narratives that were halting the progress of the show by being kept a secret, and now they’re out in the open, thanks to her. Not just that, but Penelope’s departure itself will have major implications to Josie as a character, and Josie’s actions from here on out will be heavily influenced by it. As per Kaylee’s words, Josie’s lost something she thought she’d always have, and that’ll play a huge role in her spiraling and ultimately going “dark”. Factor in the location to which Penelope is headed, and you can clearly tell there is a strong possibility her narrative will continue to be explored by the writers in a second season.

Like it or not, Penelope leaving was absolutely necessary for the character, her relationship with Josie, and Josie’s future storyline. Penelope being gone isn’t a disservice to the show and it wasn’t in vain. We all know how much she loves to watch the world burn  – well, her leaving was the beginning of the fire.

And I know, we all want Penelope to come back as a main or regular, me included. But we must also understand that isn’t always possible, for a multitude of reasons. We have to remember Lulu is still doing T@gged, which might prevent the show from making her a regular due to contractual reasons. Even factoring in Penelope’s storyline, if the writers always intended on Penelope leaving for an extended period of time, it makes sense that they wouldn’t have her as a regular just yet.

I can’t make any guarantees as to her coming back in season two. As of now, all I have on that end are wild guesses, wishful thinking, and a lot of hope. But the fact is, the writers have created a well-rounded, interesting character who is well-liked by their fan base, and I believe it’s in their best interest to keep her in the show. The show wins absolutely nothing by permanently getting rid of Penelope, because they know what that entails. No executive producer in their right mind wants to purposefully alienate their viewers, even a portion of them, and they know that’s what will happen if they do nothing to keep Penelope in the show, in one way or the other.

Now, Julie is no Jason, but she’s not without flaws. Focusing specifically on the ones that matter to this conversation, I’m well aware she’s mistreated and killed off multiple queer characters without batting an eye. But I am also aware she’s also had two female characters marry on screen, and neither of the two died after that. And again, Penelope isn’t any of these characters. Not Nora, not Mary Louise, not Josh, not Aiden, not even Freya or Keelin. 

And Legacies is not The 100, by any means. The same way it isn’t The Vampire Diaries or The Originals. This show has a completely different vibe to it than that of its predecessors, different characters, different themes... And we can’t, or rather, shouldn’t expect or anticipate from it the same thing we expected from those other shows.

All of this is not to say The CW is now exempt from all blame. That everything is excused, we’re all buddy-buddies, and can blindly trust everything this network does. We have to be cautious and critical of the media we consume, always, especially when it’s given us a reason to do so in the past. But living solely in the past, and living in storylines and situations that in no way resemble the ones we’re currently going through, is a disservice to everyone who works hard every single day to bring us these stories. It’s a disservice to Lexa’s legacy. And it’s a disservice to us, all of us fans, who watch these shows. 

Living in fear of history repeating itself only prevents us from enjoying the here and now. We’re so scared of what might happen that we stress before there’s even anything to stress about. We taint what’s happening out of fear of what may or may not be. Don’t we owe ourselves better than that?

[pikapeppa]

Fenris/f!Hawke modern AU: Tequila

Chapter 5 of Damned Spot is up on AO3! It ends on a bit of a cliffhanger BUT THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE UP EITHER TONIGHT OR TOMORROW, I PROMISE. Posting this one tonight for @dadrunkwriting Friday!

In which Fenris and Rynne flail around like awkward idiots in the wake of the previous night’s party. Tiiiiiiny hint of smut. Previous chapters can be read here: [1] [2] [3] [4] 

And beautiful art of this fic can be seen on the Tumblr of my partner in life and crime, the ever-talented @schoute​. 

***********************

2:21pm - you had fun last night. admit it!

Rynne’s phone made a little swish sound as it whisked her message away to Fenris. She grinned to herself as she pulled her sunglasses from her forehead down to her nose, then stepped out into the brilliant afternoon sunshine.

She was still on a high from how great the party was. After the intensity of the conversation on the balcony, Fenris had spent the rest of the night by her side. They’d both continued drinking, and he’d started loosening up, and Rynne lost her breath every damned time he laughed. He talked more than she’d expected, firmly sharing his opinions in the ebb and flow of conversations as they moved among the various groups of people in the house, and he was just…

He was so fucking smart. And articulate. And surprisingly opinionated. Rynne hadn’t expected that either, given how infrequently he participated in chit-chat at the Hanged Man. But now that she’d seen him talking more freely, it was more obvious than ever that his customary reserved silence masked an unceasing river of thought rather than a lack of anything important to say.

His opinions didn’t always match with hers. In addition to the lyrium issue, Fenris favoured the death penalty and really seemed to hate big corporations like Amazon. Rynne, on the other hand, supported rehab for convicted criminals and didn’t particularly care where her stuff came from as long as it was cheap. She and Fenris butted heads a few times, and the conversation became rather heated on more than one occasion - too heated for Isabela, who complained that this was a party and not a courthouse - but somehow, Rynne always managed to diffuse the tension and make him smile.

And as soon as Fenris smiled, every hint of cogent thought fled her foolish brain.

He’d followed her from the couch to the kitchen to the games room, scoffing at her jokes and returning her teasing with rapid-fire retorts that made her laugh so hard her stomach hurt. He’d point-blank refused to dance with her, but it hadn’t stopped her from dancing up on him like the shameless tart that she was. At one point, while she was twisting in front of him like a snake, he put his hand on her waist.

Fenris had touched her. Touched her of his own free will, twice in a single night. He’d shaken his head and smirked at her as his elegant, tattooed fingers squeezed her waist, and…

Maker’s balls, Rynne really wanted to fuck him.

But it was so much more than that. Usually Rynne was happy to hop into bed with whoever caught her interest, and if the fling became more than physical, that was a happy plus. But with Fenris… She got the sense that that wouldn’t work for him, and that she’d have to wait for him to come around to the idea of sleeping with her.

Rynne didn’t care. She was more than happy to wait. She would wait for him for months if she had to, because she could happily admit the truth: in the space of less than two months, she’d become more attached to Fenris than to any other romantic partner she’d ever had.

Fenris knew her worst secret, the one she’d been forced to hold most closely to her chest, and he didn’t think she was a horrible person for what she’d done. He’d given her a few secrets of his own, and she knew that was no small thing for him. Somehow, for some reason, Rynne trusted him at a visceral, instinctual level, just as much as she trusted Piper and Cullen. And in the most uninhibited depths of her heart, she knew that she would wait for him for as long as it took.

But hopefully it wouldn’t take too long.

She cheerfully hummed along to her tropical house playlist as she made her way to Athenril’s coffee shop in Lowtown. She was so busy rehashing the happy events of the previous night that she was halfway to Lowtown before she realized that Fenris hadn’t texted her back.

She pulled out her phone and swiped through to her messages.

2:33pm - fine, play coy, i dont mind ;) 2:33pm - seriously though i’m really glad you came

She popped her phone back in her pocket, but to her happy surprise, it dinged less than a minute later.

2:34pm - Thank you for having me.

I haven’t had you yet, she thought cheekily. But she would keep that thought to herself. For now, at least.

2:34pm - anytime ^^ 2:34pm - are you super hungover? did i wake you up? lol

2:34pm - No. I’ve been up for hours. Some of us don’t have the luxury of blackout curtains in every bedroom window.

Aw. So snarky, she thought fondly. She could imagine the crease of his eyebrows and the smirk on his lips as he texted her. The image fostered a warm feeling in her belly, and she grinned to herself as she stepped into the road.

“Hawke! Be careful!” A strong female hand grabbed her elbow and pulled her back, and Rynne squealed in alarm as a taxi screeched around the corner in the spot where she’d just been standing.

“Fuck!” Rynne gasped. She pulled out one earphone and stared up at Aveline, who was scowling at her with a look that she usually reserved for shoplifting teenagers. “Av! My hero! Kirkwall’s finest at her very best! How are you?”

“I’m fine. But you need to pay attention to your surroundings,” Aveline scolded. “Turn your music down. You would have heard that cab coming if your music was quieter.”

Rynne tilted her head playfully. “Sorry, I couldn’t hear you over my music. What was that you said?”

Aveline pursed her lips. “Very funny.” She waved a hand for Rynne to cross the street, and they made their way in the direction of Lowtown together.

“Seriously though, how are you?” Rynne asked. “How’s Donnic?”

Aveline’s expression softened at the mention of her husband. “He’s well, thank you. Enjoying paternity leave.” She smiled slightly, and Rynne grinned at the pinkness of the police captain’s cheeks.

“And how’s Carver doing?” Rynne asked. “I hope he listens to you more than he ever listened to me. It would be embarrassing for a police officer to get another ticket for parking in a no-parking zone.”

“He’s doing very well,” Aveline replied. Her tone held a hint of censure. “He’s a hard worker, you know. A good addition to the precinct. And yes, he listens well, so no complaints there.” Aveline shot her a sideways look. “It’s been a while since you’ve seen each other, hasn’t it?”

Rynne shrugged casually. “Yep.” It had been about six months, in fact. But it was better this way. It wasn’t like Carver wanted to see her, anyway.

She changed the subject. “What are you doing out in these parts, anyway?” she asked. “I thought you were more of a desk jockey these days. Are half of the precinct on vacation or something?”

Aveline pursed her lips again. “A good captain keeps her eyes and ears on the street whenever she has a chance,” she announced. She gave Hawke a knowing look. “You should be grateful that I’m out and about. You’d be roadkill otherwise.”

“That I would,” Rynne chuckled, and she slipped her hand through the crook of Aveline’s arm. “Care to escort me the rest of the way to Athenril’s, just in case I decide to wander into traffic again?”

Aveline smiled. “I’m afraid not. I’ll be leaving you here, actually. I’m off to the docks.” She patted Rynne’s hand, then pulled away. “Be careful,” she warned. “Volume down!”

“Yeah, all right!” Rynne waved and popped her earphones back in at full volume, then pulled her phone out again.

No further texts from Fenris. The ball was still in her court.

2:40pm - hey, those blackout curtains are necessary ok 2:40pm - you don’t know this, but im actually a vampire 2:41pm - i spontaneously combust in direct sunlight 2:41pm - none of that sparkly diamond skin twilight bullshit. i’m the real deal

She held her phone loosely in her hand as she strolled along. When he didn’t reply a few minutes later, she lifted her phone and tapped out another message.

2:44pm - what are you up to today? wanna hang out later?

She sent the message before she could stop to think twice. Maybe she was being overeager, but she’d really enjoyed spending time with him last night. They were both off work until Tuesday, and if she had to wait that long to see him again, she would drive Piper up the wall with her gushing.

By the time she reached Athenril’s coffee shop, he still hadn’t replied. But as luck would have it, he didn’t need to. As Rynne stepped into the cafe, she instantly spotted a familiar black-clad and hooded figure standing at the counter with his hands shoved into his pockets.

She grinned, then sashayed over to him and leaned against the counter. “Excuse me, sir. Are you a janitor? Because you’ve swept me off my feet.”

Fenris recoiled at her abrupt appearance, then his eyebrows rose as he recognized her. “Hawke! What are you doing here?”

“Inspecting the goods, of course,” she said. She bit her lip and gave him a coy smile.

To her slight disappointment, he didn’t smirk in return. Instead, he ran a hand over his hood and dropped his gaze.

Rynne straightened up. “I’m picking up an order,” she explained. “It’s our usual after-party thing. Unfortunately, I drew the short straw for pick-up today.” She stood on her tiptoes and waved at Emile, who held up two fingers to her.

She nodded, then turned back to Fenris. “Did you get my text?” she asked brightly.

“I did,” he confirmed. And he said nothing more.

Rynne frowned slightly. He wasn’t looking her in the eye. Maybe he was just really focused on getting his coffee, but she was getting a distinctly weird vibe from him.

Well, he’d been weird when she first him, and that hadn’t thrown her off. “So. What are you up to today?” she said. “Want to come over and hang out with us?”

“I’m sorry, I can’t,” he said. “I’ve… I have errands to look after.” He nodded at the barista as she handed him his coffee, then turned away from the counter and from Rynne.

Her stomach started writhing. What was wrong with him? Had she done something wrong? She could hear Isabela’s voice in her mind telling her to brush him off and let it go, but Rynne’s shameless, prideless tongue wouldn’t stop wagging.

She followed him as he moved toward the door. “Do you want to go for dinner with me?” she blurted. “There’s an Antivan tapas place that just opened in Hightown. I haven’t been there yet, but Varric said the fish tacos are to die for.”

“No,” Fenris said bluntly. “I mean - no, thank you. I will see you on Tuesday.” He finally looked her in the eye - the briefest, most neutral look - then pushed open the door to the coffee shop and left.

Rynne stood dumbly near the door as she watched him leave. Then she slowly made her way back to the counter.

“Hé, Hawke!” Emile glided over and handed her a tray of drinks and a paper bag as he reeled off their regular order.  “One Nevarran spiced chai, one espresso, one black drip coffee and one Arlathan apple spice, and one mixed box of Orlesian petit-fours… hey, are you okay?”

She hauled her face into a smile. “Yeah,” she lied. “I just remembered I haven’t done my taxes yet.”

Emile’s face fell. “Ah merde, I haven’t either! My father will have a fit…” He pulled his phone from his pocket and began madly tapping at the screen.

Hawke grimaced guiltily and backed away from the counter. “Er, sorry! I’ll, uh, see you later.” She hurried away from the counter and left the cafe, but as soon as she was on the street again, she let her smile fall away.

Her chest felt heavy, like someone had dropped a pile of rocks into her rib cage. Why was Fenris being so cold? Maybe she’d said something stupid last night that she didn’t remember. She had been pretty drunk by the end of the night. Maybe they’d argued about something

Or maybe she was just a deluded idiot, and he wasn’t actually interested in her at all.

She pulled her sunglasses down to hide her burning eyes. It doesn’t matter. He’s just a boy, she told herself. A handsome, intelligent boy with hidden depths, but still just a boy. As Isabela would say, boys come and go - literally and metaphorically - and they were imminently replaceable.

Maybe if she kept telling this to herself, the stupid childish pain in her chest would go away.

Maybe if she kept telling this to herself, she would start to believe it.

********************

Hawke slid Fenris’s water with lime across the bar. “Hey,” she said.

He nodded. “Hawke,” he greeted, but she’d already glided away to the other side of the bar.

Fenris watched her wistfully for a moment, then lifted his water and turned around on his stool to face the rest of the pub. The Hanged Man was relatively quiet, as was usual for a Tuesday; they didn’t do karaoke on Tuesdays, so the customary mix of 80s new wave and 90s grunge was pumping through the speakers and carrying the conversational susurrus of the laid-back post-work crowd.

Fenris sighed quietly. He slid his hand into his pocket and idly toyed with his phone. This was the first contact he’d had with Hawke since he’d run into her at Athenril’s cafe on Sunday. She hadn’t sent him a single text since then.

She’d only started texting him regularly about a week ago, but it was odd how quickly he’d become accustomed to the presence of her sunny swearing and ridiculous typos on his phone. Since the run-in on Sunday, she’d gone completely radio silent. It was…

Necessary, he told himself. It was necessary. She was getting too close, and Fenris couldn’t let that happen. The closer she got, the more dangerous it was for them both.

He’d been a fool at the party on Saturday. On the balcony during that moment of weakness, he’d told her Danarius’s name, and it was a foolish fucking mistake. Knowing even that much information was a risk to them both. What if she tried to Google Danarius, and someone was spying on her search histories and tracked her down to get information about Fenris’s whereabouts? Fenris used a VPN for all his online browsing, but Rynne didn’t seem the type to care about that kind of thing. Fenris wasn’t ready for Danarius and his men to come after him. He needed more time.

If Hawke learned anything more about Fenris, it could compromise his goals. His revenge would be at stake. Worse yet, Hawke herself would be in danger, and Fenris’s blood ran cold at the thought of any harm coming to her.

He briefly turned back to the bar and lifted his water. As he sipped from his glass, he glanced at Hawke again; she was leaning her elbows on the bar and giggling with a pair of businessmen.

“Puppy eyes.”

He turned and met Piper’s shrewd amber gaze. “What was that?”

“Puppy eyes,” she repeated. “That’s what Merrill would call your face right now.” Her eyebrows were lifted and her lips were pursed; her expression was the definition of unimpressed.

Fenris frowned and turned away. “There are no puppy eyes.”

Piper snorted. She leaned over the bar and stared at the side of his face. “This would be cute if we were all sixteen. News flash: we’re not. We’re all fucking adults.”

Fenris refused to look at her. He restlessly ran his thumb across his phone. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yes you do,” Piper retorted. For a long moment, she stared fixedly at him as though he was a bizarre piece of art, then straightened up and wafted away.

Fenris scowled at her slender back, then replaced his glass of water on the bar and went to sit by the door of the Hanged Man. Only one bouncer was needed on Tuesdays to monitor the inside the pub, but Fenris couldn’t help but wish he could sit outside today.

An agonizing few hours later, after the waitstaff had cleaned up and gone home, Fenris made his way to the bar while Piper and Hawke were starting to lay out the cash. But before he could say goodnight, Piper raised her eyebrows at him.

“I have to leave early,” she said.

Hawke’s head whipped up at her words. “What? Since when?”

“Since two hours ago,” Piper said pertly. “Cullen got off work early tonight, so guess who else will be getting off early?” She waggled her eyebrows suggestively.

Hawke groaned and rolled her eyes. “Wow. That was a stretch, even for you.”

Piper snickered and bumped Hawke’s hip. “It was clever and you know it.” She smiled as Hawke chuckled, then turned back to Fenris. “Can you help Hawke to count the cash?”

Fenris tensed, and Hawke’s grin immediately slid away. “What? No! I can do it on my own-”

Piper flapped her hands. “No, Fenris can help.” She looked at him. “I asked Varric already, he’s paying you for an extra hour. That works out for everyone, right?” Piper’s tone was light and friendly, but her eyes were like daggers on his face.

He clenched his jaw and gave her a hard stare, but her strong chin was belligerently lifted, and… well, the whole point of being here was the money. If he was being paid for an extra hour…

He turned his gaze to Hawke. “I’ll help. Tell me what to do, and it is done.”

Hawke stared at him for a second, then smiled tightly and shoved a pile of twenties toward him. “Fine. I hope you can do math.”

He frowned slightly. “Of course I can.” He sat on a bar stool across from her and lifted the pile of bills.

“Good,” Hawke said. “Because I can’t. Pipes is the brains of this operation.”

Piper laughed. “Nice try, bitch. You’re brilliant too.” She checked her phone, then hitched her purse onto her shoulder and waved at them. “Cullen’s just outside. Have a good night!”

“Bye. I hate you,” Hawke called to her departing back.

“Love you too!” Piper chirped, and then she was gone, leaving Fenris and Hawke alone.

Hawke stared blankly at him for a second, then shot him an alarmingly bright smile. “Who wants a drink?” She turned away and grabbed a lower-shelf bottle of tequila, then pulled out two shot glasses.

“Oh. Er - perhaps just one-” Fenris said dumbly, but Hawke was already pouring him a shot.

The pushed the tiny glass of tequila across the bar to him, then poured one for herself and immediately drank it. “Want a piece of peach with that?” she asked. “Piper calls it Fen’harel’s Fuzzy Cock. Well, she does when we add some lime juice to it. Three ingredients makes it a cocktail.” She winked at him as she poured herself a second shot.

“No,” Fenris said. “No peach is necessary.” He downed the shot and winced at the harsh burn of cheap liquor, then began counting the stack of twenties.

Hawke chattered the entire time they were counting the cash. Fenris listened as she complained about her favourite food stand in Lowtown closing last week and an outlandish anime she’d just finished watching and how she was planning a trip to Rivain in a couple of months. He watched with no small amount of wonder as she managed to swiftly count the cash and write the amounts on a spreadsheet while simultaneously talking and pouring them shot after shot of tequila.

By the time the task was almost done, Fenris was feeling a little hazy from the drinks, and he wasn’t sure how helpful he had ultimately been. “You may want to check this,” he confessed as he pushed a pile of dimes toward her. “I counted twenty-three, but I… I may have miscounted.”

She grinned at him. Her coppery eyes were brilliant from the booze. “Some helper you are,” she teased. She quickly counted the coins again, her face briefly furrowing into a frown as she counted them, then gave him a satisfied smile. “You’re good,” she said, and she wrote the amount on her spreadsheet, then began to tally it all up with a calculator.

Fenris watched her as she worked. She hummed to herself as she tapped in the numbers, some song that was vaguely familiar to him from earlier that night. Her face was peaceful and her tiny smile was sweet, and…

Venhedis, he wished his life really were this simple. If only he really was just a man working at a pub with a beautiful woman who hummed happy songs while she counted the cash. But this kind of simplicity, of uncomplicated peace and quiet… This was as foreign to Fenris as his native language was to her, and there was no point pining for something so bright when all his future held was blood.

She looked up from her spreadsheet and tapped at the computer over the till, then punched her fist in the air. “Yesss. Counted the cash while drunk. Pipes and Varric will be so proud! Or horrified. I can’t decide.” She grinned at him, but her smile froze when she met his eyes.

He stared at her, unable to breathe and unable to look away from her stricken expression. Then she dropped her eyes and began replacing the cash into the drawer. “Fenris, can you put the bigger bills into that envelope, we’ll lock it up separately in the safe-”

He reached out and took her hand. “Hawke,” he blurted, “I… I am sorry.”

Her hands went still, and her eyes darted back to his face. “Sorry for what?” she said faintly.

He hesitated as he realized that he wasn’t entirely sure what to apologize for. He hadn’t forced Hawke to talk to him, after all. She’d flirted with him and garnered his unwavering attention without any particular encouragement from him. He hadn’t asked her to be his friend. He hadn’t asked her to become the first person he’d trusted in a very long time. If he was sorry for anything, it was that he’d indulged her incessant attempts at conversation and gotten them both into this uncomfortable position in the first place.  

But he couldn’t tell her that, not without explaining why they couldn’t be… whatever she clearly wanted this to be. Finally he settled on a cheap diversion. “You’re a beautiful woman. Is there no one else who has your attention?”

Her eyebrows leapt high on her forehead, and she smiled. “I’m sorry, I didn’t quite catch that first part.”

He gave her a chiding look. “I’m a Tevinter gangster with years’ worth of blood on my hands,” he said bluntly. “None of those things bother you?”

She turned her hand in his grip and squeezed his fingers. “You’re not a gangster anymore,” she said.

A wriggle of guilt burrowed into Fenris’s belly, but Hawke wasn’t finished. “Besides, if I was interested in anyone else, I’d be with them. I’m only interested in you.”

He stared at her with growing puzzlement. “Why?” he said hoarsely. Now that he thought about it, he genuinely wasn’t sure why she was so drawn to him. He wasn’t even particularly nice to her. Kaffas, he’d been a downright ass the last time he’d seen her, and purposely so.

She raised an eyebrow and smiled slowly at him. “What, you want me to list all the reasons?”

With horror, he realized that it indeed sounded like he’d been soliciting compliments. “No,” he said hastily, but it was too late; she was already pouring more shots and talking.

“You’re smart. You’re funny when you’re in the mood. When you’re not in the mood, your angry face makes me want to rip my clothes off. I…” She trailed off and ran a hand through her tufty hair. “You get me, Fenris. Or I thought you did.” She downed the shot and poured herself another. “It also doesn’t hurt that you’re fucking gorgeous.” She tilted her head. “Why are you asking me this? Do you like me?”

With a slightly shaking hand, he gulped the shot she’d poured, then watched as she filled his glass again. “That is not the issue,” he hedged. “Whether I like you or not is irrel-”

She bluntly cut him off. “It’s a simple question, Fenris,” she said. “Do you like me, or don’t you? I can’t tell, you see. I need you to break it down for me like the idiot that I am.”

He shook his head in growing exasperation. This was not where he’d meant this conversation to go. Where… where had he meant this conversation to go? He couldn’t quite remember.

He lifted the shot glass to his lips. “We shouldn’t be together,” he insisted, then downed the shot.

She frowned, then placed her glass on the bar with a clatter and poured two more. “I told you stuff about me that no one else knows. And I thought… I thought it was the same for you. Was I wrong?”

“N-no,” Fenris said. He was feeling increasingly agitated. He was starting to get the distinct sense that he was being interrogated; ironic, since he was the one who had clumsily started this conversation.

“Then what’s the problem?” she asked. “Do do you like me or not? That’s all that-”

“Yes,” he finally snapped. “Yes, I do, all right? I like you, Hawke. I think about you, and… in fact, I’ve been able to think of little else.” He snatched the shot from the bar and gulped it in one big swallow, then slammed the glass on the bar and glared at her.

Her mouth had dropped into a comical little ‘o’. Fenris dragged a hand through his hair. “Why are you staring at me like that?” he demanded.

Her expression slowly lifted into a brilliant smile. “I didn’t expect you to say ‘yes’,” she said. Then she burst into laughter.

Fenris planted one elbow on the bar and pointed at her accusingly. “You see? This - your - you laugh like this and it… You drive me mad with your incessant flirting and your laughing and that macabre little dress of yours with the skulls-”

“Oh, that dress,” she drawled. Her voice was vibrant with mirth, like laughter smoothed and curled into speech. “You liked that dress, did you?”

“I…” He buried his spinning head in his hands, then scowled at her again. “I wanted to peel it off and watch it pooling around your feet,” he growled.

Her eyes widened, and Fenris watched with a nearly-vindictive rush of satisfaction as her cheeks turned pink. “Well, fuck me sideways,” she breathed.

Her evocative curse painted a brilliant picture in his mind: Hawke naked and sweaty, stretched on her side while he slid up behind her and stroked the inside of her thigh…  

A roar of heat blazed through his chest from throat to groin, and he dragged in a heavy breath. His eyes were fixed on her lips, her plump and parted lips, and suddenly it felt like he couldn’t catch his breath, not even if he was panting for it.

Then Hawke lunged toward him and hooked her hand around the back of his neck, and before he could do more than gasp in surprise, she was kissing him.

Hawke was kissing him. Hawke’s lips, her fingers on his neck, it was… she was…  

The next thing he knew, he was on his feet with one hand gripping her short dark hair as he leaned over the bar and kissed her back, and she was whimpering against his lips like the wanton little thing she was. There was a faint clatter of coins as she splayed her palm on the bar - the bar, the fucking blasted bar that stood between them, separating them and stopping them from doing something stupid-

She petted his neck and released a tiny sob of want when he nipped her lower lip. “Fenris,” she begged. “I want - I…”

“Come here,” he breathed. This was a foolish thing to do, an act of complete idiocy, but Fenris couldn’t stop: he was drunk on her, intoxicated by the reddened look of her lips and the taste of tequila on her tongue and the sheer shining joy in her eyes, and he wanted this more than he’d ever wanted anything in his cursed life.

Hawke smiled against his lips, then pushed away from the bar and hefted herself onto its surface, and Fenris gaped at her as she clumsily scrambled over the bar and onto her feet beside him.

She grabbed the lapels of his jacket. “Now, where were we?”

He didn’t waste his breath replying. He dragged her against his body and slid his thigh between her legs, then swallowed her rapturous cry with another kiss.

She slid her tongue against his own, then broke away with a moan as he slipped his fingers into her loose camisole and up along her ribs. “Fucking Maker’s balls,” she whined, then she gasped and thrust her hips against his leg as he snuck his fingers under her bra and pinched her nipple.

He breathed hard as he palmed her pert little breast. His body was thrumming, heavy and pulsing with the strength of his need for her, and he hadn’t felt this way in years. He hadn’t wanted this in years, not since he’d had the tattoos branded on his skin. The tattoos represented so many layers of resistance, of pain and emptiness and regret. Especially since leaving Tevinter, Fenris hadn’t wanted to be seen with these metaphorical scars staining his skin.

But in this moment, he would strip himself bare in the space of a second if it meant Hawke would strip herself as well.

He carefully licked her lower lip. “Let’s leave,” he whispered.

She pressed her lips together, then gasped again as he pinched her nipple harder. “Oh fuck,” she whined. “I… Fenris, we have to lock up the cash, I can’t just…”

He growled in frustration, and she laughed breathily. “You making that sound does not make this easier for me,” she panted. She pushed gently at his chest.

He reluctantly allowed her to step away, then penned her between his body and the bar. “A renegade with a work ethic?” he whispered in her ear.

She shivered prettily, and her hands were clumsy as she collected the cash. “Exactly,” she replied. “Never let it be said that I shirked my duties to this lovable dump.” She shoved the bigger bills into an envelope and replaced the remaining money in the drawer, then picked it all up and shifted away from him. “I’ll be super quick, I promise.”

He allowed her to move away, then shamelessly watched as she hurried to Varric’s office and let herself inside. While Hawke locked up the cash in Varric’s safe, Fenris pulled up his hood and wandered restlessly toward the door.

This was a bad idea, and he knew it. It was stupid and irresponsible, and he suspected that he was going to regret it tomorrow, but it just felt so fucking right. The lingering feeling of Hawke’s hands on his skin, stroking his neck and pressing against his chest - it warmed and riled him the more he thought about it. He thought about her lips and the sharp taste of her tongue, and it was so fucking wrong and selfish and unfair, and he was powerless to stop.

The distinct click of a lock caught his attention. He turned to see Hawke hurrying toward him with her phone in her hand. “I called an Uber,” she said. “It’ll be here in two minutes.”

Two minutes. He had two minutes to do the right thing. To tell her this was a mistake, that he was a complete and utter ass whose only legacy was a trail of bodies and blood and death, and that she should write him off altogether…  

She slid her palms along his abs and lifted herself on her toes. “Kiss me while we wait,” she whispered.

He instinctively gripped her hips as she leaned into his chest. “You’re very demanding,” he said.

“Of course I am. This is everything I wanted,” she retorted. She bit her lip, and her gaze drifted up to his eyes. “You’re all I think about, too,” she murmured.

And just like that, Fenris was sunk. His resistance and his reasons were gone, obliterated by the woman in his arms, and in the muddled mess of his sex-scrambled mind, he couldn’t bring himself to care.

In this moment, all he cared about was her: the charming and infuriating woman in his arms, with all her merriness and her melancholy. And for tonight, Fenris was hers.

[ralfstrashcan]

3x11 Reaction / Commentary

So I haven't even started the episode and I'm already confused.

Why did Netflix put 3B in a separate folder? I mean, they didn't with 2B. What's the matter with that. Or is this just the German Netflix??

Smoooooothe move. Somewhere Derek Hale is smiling proudly.

Wtf why they so slow. I was half expecting this to be a simulation or sth because they took ages to arrive and then were walking super chill???

Seelie guy doesn't use this obvious distraction of the others to try and escape, since he knows he's just a minor character and shouldn't interfere.

Beautiful grieving sequence, especially Jace with the sketch of himself. I knew there would be a portrait of him in there before he even turned the page, I could feel it. I love how sensitive and therefore predictable the show is.

Ooooh nooooo Clary is still aliiiiiive, who whould have thought?!?!?! Okay sorry haha I had to.

lol didn't he look in a mirror recently and realize there's still no real resemblance? I mean, at least now he's not charred anymore, so I guess there's more resemblance than before, but you know what I mean. And I get it, this is supposed to be a parallelism to Lilith saying the same thing, but if memory serves right, at this point in time Jonathan was a) in a thick glass casket and b) dead so I'm wondering how he could have heard that.

wtf I'm getting sooo mixed signals from him. Does he want to give off creeper vibes or play house? Because he's kinda doing both?? Play Creeper House???

YEAH LITERALLY I WANT TO SEE THEIR HEATING BILLS

This...... doesn't sound as reassuring as it sounded in your head, Jonathan.

So, points for Clary for that ploy, but my heart is already pre-emptively breaking for Jonathan when he finds out she's playing him. The poor guy just wants family after being used and abused his whole life, man. Is that too much to ask.

More points for Clary for being sensible and grabbing a coat!!

“Clary, come on. You can't go out there. You're never gonna survive.”

Hahaha that had me laughing out loud. So Clary.

Okay, minus points for Clary for not actually wearing the coat. You had a winning streak of common sense but all good things must end, I guess.

Picturesque. But, uh, since Jonathan isn't following her she could slow down. And if she was a Slytherin, she would have waited til after breakfast with her daring escape.

LISTEN I LOVE THIS CASUAL DOMESTICITY

Also if you're more make-up versed than I am (which, admittedly, isn't very hard) and realized something was off about the way Magnus held that eyeliner stick (?) then check lynne-monstr's eyeliner salt club tag because it's hilarious. I also want to rec volunteer_of_hufflepuff's fic smile even though your heart is breaking because it's awesome.

...........................really. Really. That's how they want to play it? Ugh, okay. Ugh.

You know, I've had a whole lengthy extensive (dare I say exhaustive) rant ripening in my head since I saw this bit in the sneak peek but I'm just not in the mood, so let me cut it short: I get Simon's reaction emotionally, since losing Clary must be a horrible experience for him, but I'm still bitter about early 3A where blasting that werewolf across Taki's yard and knowing he might never walk again didn't bother Simon for one second. Repercussions should always matter, regardless of how close you are to the person affected.

Oh dear, she's still running. And her hair still looks like that?

Sure. Also

How can he keep up with her when he's walking and she's running? I mean he's not that much taller than her. Or does she run ten feet, pause to gasp and pant a little, runs again, stop and go, y'know? So on average she's just powerwalking.

Ok srsly I need to stop this nonsensical commentary.

Yeah and I guess he didn't notice the Clave-approved vampire-torture-sunlight construction Aldertree installed in this very same office (shown in 2x04 if you care to remember).

........who are you and what did you do to Alec Lightwood? You seriously want to tell me he'd consider not bringing up a violation of the Accords, and more importantly power abuse and torture, because of political reasons and he's “scared” to lose his standing with Jia? Please. He'd be enforcing Clave law. He'd be well within his right. We're talking about the guy who flat out refused to do the Inquisitor's bidding because it went against his moral code. Compared to that, this is a walk in the park. So. Please.

“I understand the kind of pain you're in, Jace.”

“No you don't. I'm sorry, you don't.”

“You're right...

Oh my god this isn't about Clary, or at least not for the most part. Jace is frikking traumatized because he wasn't in control of his body or his actions or his frakking mind for days. Btw I'm actually impressed and surprised they bothered to focus on anything but the Clary-Drama, namely Jace second-hand-killing like 33 people. And Imogen. And almost Alec. The way I see Jace he'll focus on his guilt, not the pain he feels over Clary's loss. Clary will be on his mind and that's one more thing to feel shitty about, because how can he be so selfish and think about his own pain when he brought so much more pain on other people? Jace has an incredibly intricately self-destructive mind and I love how it was portrayed here. Also loved the scene in general with some Izzy&Jace sibling feels, the tender way she talks to him, his kiss to her hand. But the focus (mainly because of Izzy) returning to Clary annoyed me a little.

And by the way, there is one person who can understand Jace. Alec. Because he was possessed by a demon and forced to kill someone, too. Granted, he doesn't have the memories of the action itself, but he saw it on tape. He blames himself because the demon fed off his own hate against Jocelyn. So I would really really love to see those two talking about it. I'm extremely thrilled to watch on and see if they do (but lol kinda hoping they don't because then I can finish writing my ficlet about it, which I sadly didn't manage to before 3B aired).

MY LIFE EXPECTANCY JUST INCREASED BY AT LEAST FIVE YEARS OKAY

Also what a damn badass nightlight, I want one as well even though I hate not to sleep in absolute darkness, that's how pretty this is.

HAHAHAHHAHHAHHAHAHA I  C A N ' T

ALEC'S OFFENDED FACE AS IF THIS IS NEWS TO HIM

Wow I'm so glad they didn't forget about Iris. I was scared, not gonna lie.

Tbh I don't find Madzie's reaction that realistic. I mean, Valentine – the first person to talk to her after she got ripped from her normal life in her normal home – told her Clary got Iris into trouble. At some point they must have told her that Iris isn't coming back. But did they really tell her Iris was breeding warlocks? I highly doubt that. At most they told her Iris did some bad things. But, since they probably said the same thing about Valentine (and he was always “nice” to her) and told her Clary wasn't in fact evil, that kind of loses its meaning. And let's not forget, she is a child. A probably traumatized child, I might add, since Valentine used her to literally kill at least ten Shadowhunters that we see on screen, likely more. Her perception of what is right and what is wrong is easily swayed. And personally I think she neither really registered that Iris is supposed to be the bad guy now nor that living with Catarina / Magnus and Alec is sooooo much better than living with Iris ever was, so her having such a strong opposition against going with Iris seems unrealistic to me.

Love this. So good.

This is actually really beautiful

This is actually really dramatic for no reason and I'm soooo here for it.

Soooooo am I the only one wondering why the F Cat didn't put some wards on Magnus's place? I mean????? There is no explanation given for that, and frankly I can't come up with one. If not for Magnus, then Cat would at least put wards there while Madzie stays with him. Or....... do they want to imply Cat doesn't know that he lost his magic?? Hä?! If so, who the hell patched Alec back up from his neat little life-threatening arrow wound? Cuz I had assumed it was Cat. Since, y'know Jace pleaded with Magnus to help Alec, implying (to me at least) that an iratze alone wouldn't cut it this time. Except of course, if he asked because he didn't want to be bothered with taking out his stele and activating Alec's healing rune, but when Magnus refused because no magic he had no other choice.... and let's be real, the first scene of this episode heavily implies that a healing rune can cure just about anything in 0.3 seconds flat.

Alec wanting to bench Magnus makes no sense. Keeping him around and/or at the Institute makes more sense than, oh I don't know, telling him to stay in his loft where there are no wards. Wtf is logic anyway, right?

I liked this scene, don't get me wrong but... what's with the tough love? Alec isn't usually like that?? He's soft and firm reassurance, not aggressive and authoritative reassurance. Did he try that route before and it didn't work?? I need some answers.

“I had no idea.”

“How could you? You weren't there.”

“Me leaving had nothing to do with Simon. I just needed to be alone.

Okay, what, am I supposed to blame Maia now for needing time for and taking care of herself? She's so defensive as if her leaving was objectively wrong, and it wasn't.

“I guess when times get tough, some people need to be alone. And others need to be around other people.

Please, this is a dirty lie. Remind me again, who was it that pushed Alec away after he found out about her yin fen addiction, insisted she could handle it on her own, ran away and finally confiding in some random stranger she had just met? It wasn't Maia. Who stayed up late all night, disregarding her own emotions and rather tearing herself apart trying to fix the drama of her brothers than to mention to anyone she wasn't alright? Wasn't Maia either.

I feel strongly about this because this seems like a really cheap way to break up Saia and set up Sizzy and I don't like cheap things. I don't like Sizzy either, but my main demand is quality, not a certain content. I'll accept Sizzy if it's done correctly. But this isn't it. This is laying blame on a character who's not to blame, and making claims about another character that are plain untrue if you look at the last three seasons.

I've said it before, there would be good ways to break up Saia. For example their attitude to violence differs greatly from one another. Maia is trigger-happy and sees no harm in it, Simon is more or less pacifistic (at least when he's not having his I-don't-care-about-anything-but-my-gig-mood). Creating a conflict out of this would have been in character. Claiming Maia is somehow to blame because she wasn't there is not only unfair, but also invalidating all Maia has done for Simon before, and that was a lot. Putting up with her shitty ex, helping him search for Lilith, fighting her own pack so they don't bully him. She was about to have a face-off with the Seelie Queen – the very same creature that held her hostage not too long ago – just to be by his side. Is that all suddenly not worth anything anymore, just because she had the audacity to take a little time for herself, to sort through her own issues?

Seriously, he let her walk in that? No wonder she collapsed. Jonathan should have gotten her nice hiking boots.

EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS

CAN WE JUST.... CAN WE...... APPRECIATE.......... HOW HE BATS ALL HER MAGIC ATTACKS AWAY....... LIKE............ MAGNUS................ H O W

Btw if this is supposed to sway me and make me see that benching Magnus would have been the right call, then it's not working, because fine, let's assume Magnus had gone home. Then Iris would have had an even easier job to snatch him away, because a) no wards and b) no sword. And on top of that Alec wouldn't have had a way of knowing that Magnus was even taken, since I doubt Iris would have let Magnus call or text him.

Do you even know that? I'd like to see what you're willing to do after being tortured for ten years. Just saying. But fine. Stay there on your high horse.

Ohmygod I am stunned. I couldn't have written that summation any better and to be honest I had assumed the show would just blackpaint Jonathan as evil villain and be done with it. This is so much more than I expected. I am impressed. (And of course now I hope that there will be a redemption arc for Jonathan, but I'm afraid I'm setting myself up for heartbreak with this one.)

Do they intend to tell me that this whole place is warmed by the fireplace? Why not by a heater? Since the three billion lamps

imply there's electricity somewhere. Or was that line about firewood just Jonathan's way to exit the scene? Who knows.

“Ollie? Doesn't remember a thing. Praetor was good about getting her and Samantha relocated. New identities. They're safe now, like everyone else.”

I'm still high-key bitter about this. I love Ollie a great deal, okay, so this is a pretty disappointing solution to outsource her from the plot. Just let her forget all the shit so she doesn't have to deal with trauma. Guess she thinks now her mother died in an explosion caused by a gas leakage or something. I wonder what the mundane police has to say about that and how long it'll take them to find her, since, y'know, they have evidence against her and all that.

Edit: This doesn't actually make sense if you think about it. Did Ollie just get dropped into a witness protection program for no reason she can remember? Or does that “new identities” actually mean they have completely new identities because they don't remember ANYTHING from their old life?? I need answers.

I get it. This is supposed to make me see how rundown and wasted Luke is. But is he purposefully trying to make himself look like a confused hobo? I mean couldn't he like, prepare the notes he wanted to show Jace? It's like he's trying to reinforce to Jace he shouldn't listen to a thing Luke says because these are clearly the actions of a desperate man. Presentation is half the battle man, man.

Hah, badass. There's a reason I love him.

I totally dig Magnus in his kiddie clothes, but I also need a lot of answers because there's blood on his hands and bodies at his feet and this doesn't look like magic gone haywire, this looks like a massacre and I need answers. I wonder if they're gonna explain this flash or just let it sit there uncommented. (I hope they address it and I hope it has something to do with Asmodeus and their time together.)

Ugh do I honestly have to reiterate that parking Magnus in his ward-less loft wouldn't have helped? Also, he's a grown-ass man and can make decisions for himself, dammit.

Owning up to his mistakes unrestrainedly. There's a reason I have a soft spot for Raphael.

New York, huh? What a coincidence. Wouldn't want him to live somewhere else and have Maia burn through the other half of her paycheck to pay some warlock to portal them again, right?

Also, not to be controversial, but why don't they ask the Praetor first? Since they had a whole ass book on the mark of cain and everything. And figured out what it is. And getting rid of something so dangerous is basically their job. I mean. Just saying.

You know I always marvel at this. Just because he's old he knows shit? Is there really an age where knowledge pops into your head just because? Because I'm still waiting for that to happen to me, let me tell you. Just like being immortal somehow grants you immediate access to celebrities and the questionable honor to be in the midst of all historical events of the slightest relevance? Srsly if I was immortal I'd still be glued to my lappy and hate going out.

LOL give Iris a front row seat on how you smashed her XD XD XD

IT'S SUPER EFFECTIVE

<3 <3 <3

This exchange thing is a ploy, and to be honest, a painfully obvious one. I find it really kinda hard to believe Iris falls for it. What I've been asking myself since this plot line started is, why didn't Iris have that idea herself? Like, I honestly expected her to use Magnus as a hostage and tell Alec he either hand over Madzie or she'll kill Magnus. Makes way more sense than her just trying to find Madzie herself and then what, try to break her out again? That didn't work last time, and since the warlocks are warned by Magnus's abduction it'd be even unlikelier to work now. I get it plot-wise since it'd be a little awkward if Iris out-blackmailed the Shadowhunters, but like. Seriously. What's the in-universe-explanation for this???

I don't know why, but Magnus looks super cute in this shot.

Five bucks say this is Izzy with a shapeshifting rune, and ISTG if this is actually Madzie then I can just shake my head at them.

Okay, I totally dig Lightwood siblings working together but. Why do you have to simultaneously hurt me with plot holes.

1) Where did they get Seelie Magic? Did they employ Meliorn? Srlsy. Also, the Seelie Magic at the beginning of the episode could move so why was Illusion!Madzie standing there like a display dummy? That was super suspicious.

2) Why didn't they use a shapeshifting rune? The illusion would have held longer, Izzy could have gotten closer and tied Iris up more easily, without Magnus getting smashed first. But, drama I guess.

3) Where the f is Catarina? Please. Her ward almost gets kidnapped and all she does is go “Oh shit, gotta relocate her to some other High Warlock lol.” Her best friend gets kidnapped and all she does is go “Oh shit, but whatever, here have a fake ransom note but don't think I'll move my ass from this super important Bitching and Drinking Conference. I payed like 200 bucks to get in.” Wtf. This is shitty ooc behavior from her. Wtf. She's either suuuuuper confident that Alec and Izzy will get Magnus back no problem, or she doesn't give a shit about him, and sorry, I don't believe either of those two options.

HAHAHA I'M SCREAMING LOOOOOL!!! Is this code for “We wanted to kill her but Lilith was quicker so we'll pretend we weren't even interested in killing her in the first place”? The Clave, man. Always good for a laugh.

No, dummy, this is their R&D Department.

I'm not even kidding, remember 2x04:

Oh the good old times.

This was. Really good. Really. I'm like, reeling. I feel like show writers read too many fanfics and therefore the Malec scenes this ep were exquisite. Magnus evasively running around and not liking his “powerlessness.” Alec there to reassure him with the sweetest of words. Their kiss, not to short, but hard and determined, with feeling. Top tier shit.

Wow, even though the words that left their mouths were reassuring and good it still feels like their relationship is suddenly dying. I wonder why that is? Oh, right. Because Sizzy, that's why.

I love.

Ooooh guess the residual electricity finally ran out. And I guess Clary turned all the candles off to match the mood? Also, since it was dark outside before and now isn't anymore.... was Jonathan out collecting firewood the entire night? That's dedication, man.

.......what a coincidence that their healing rune is in the exact same spot. On that note, I've been wondering.... if the ressurection resetted his skin to a state it hasn't been in for ten years, effectively un-charring it, shouldn't his runes have disappeared as well? Did he spend the “days” Clary was sleeping with putting runes all over himself?? On that note, why the hell did Clary have to sleep for days when Jonathan was the one who came back from the dead? All that Clary did was running at Simon in slow motion. I mean, I know what I would find more taxing.

I soooo appreciate the blood on her teeth. Such care for detail <3

Okay, so I realize that this makes Jonathan look like a fanatic, but I actually understand this scene like this: He's not an idiot. He knew Clary wasn't really going to give him a chance. But this, this is his chance, because now she has no choice but to stick with him and see for herself.

Btw if you're wondering why I'm so pro Jonathan, you can read the beginning of this post where I got out all of my Jonathan Feels. Basically, until I actually see him act intrinsically evil I refuse to believe all hope is lost for him. He did terrible things, yes, and he's aware of that, but the way I see it he did them because he wasn't ever presented with an alternate choice. And now that he has one, he's holding onto it tooth and nail. He wants to leave all the pointless violence behind.

I'm aware he's a sadistic psycho in the books, but this wouldn't be the first time the show gave a character a make-over (for the better) and so far the only compelling piece of evidence on the show in favor of Jonathan's demon blood causing him to be unsavably evil was Jocelyn's vision of him killing a flower as a baby, and it's not even clear if that was intentional. So excuse me if that's not enough for me to write him off.

Gif Sources: Malec cheek kiss, Magnus being cutesy with his croc impression, Magnus brandishing his sword *facepalm* you know what I mean, Magnus batting Iris's magic away

[ravenbell-exchange]

Here come the prompts!

These are for all of us to use, so please feel free to peruse, reblog, explore, comment, and be generally delightful. Everyone will be receiving their assigned prompts later today, but remember that we are writing two stories each: one from the assigned prompts, and one from this list. You are free to pick anything apart from stuff you yourself prompted. All Dear Author letters that were published before now are linked below, but please do check the prompter’s blog just in case -- they might’ve posted a letter later on.

If you didn’t sign up for this challenge, but want to use any of the prompts below to write a fic -- go for it! As long as you make sure to credit where you got the prompt from, you are very welcome to play with us.

Now, without further ado:

1.

Url: @raiindust​

Dear Author letter: here

Prompt 1: ❝We won’t ever be holy, or galaxies or whatever else I’ve ever fucking written about. We are built upon too many ruins, but my god, some ruins are known as wonders of the world. And you’re mine.❞ Source: here Raven + Bellamy + at the edge of the world: setting off with a group on a post-apocalyptic road trip. Stumbling across a long abandoned city; deciding that it’s as good a place as any to begin anew.

Prompt 2: Raven + Bellamy + Grounder Alliance: Raven and Bell are chosen as emissaries of Skaikru to help develop relationships with the various Grounder clans, and spend the better part of (insert your preference of period of time here) moving and living between one, two or multiple clans.

Prompt 3: ❝You’re the girl I want to be slow dancing with at 2AM in my kitchen.❞ Source: here

Raven + Bellamy + things you said to me at 2AM: canon compliant, canon divergence, modern au. Raven and Bellamy have a lot of things to say, so why not say them to each other in the dead of night, when things are still.

Prompt 4: Raven + Bellamy + Modern AU.

Things they don’t want to find in the fic you write for them: Unnecessary angst, torture or heaping of awful things onto individual characters (so basically canon for my ray of sunshine Raven Reyes) is absolutely not a thing I want to see, hear and especially read. A light sprinkling of personal angst is absolutely fine, but anything more than a tablespoon and it hurts my soul. So character death is pretty much off the table as well.

Also: I tend to stay away from super heavy kinks, or anything that isn’t moderate smut then fade to black. Despite my issues with canon representations of these things, devaluing Octavia’s relationship to Bellamy, or Finn’s importance to Raven as a person are also things I don’t like to see. That being said, if your plot doesn’t call for it, also don’t feel the need to throw it in there for the sake of it.

2.

Url: @finnicks​

Dear Author letter: here

Prompt 1: i thought this time last year i'd be dead.

Prompt 2: you had so much to give, you thought I couldn’t see.

Prompt 3: here 

Prompt 4: shy

Prompt 5: i just want to stay here with you

Things they don’t want to find in the fic you write for them: Super heavy kinks. Smut for the sake of smut. Character bashing - it's a little unnecessary. Ship bashing. Would prefer it if it's pure Raven/Bellamy, and if any side ships are merely sides/mentions. No AUs where they're in the modern world; I prefer it if it's an AU on canon. First person or second person.

Also: I've seen all seasons of the show, so I'm okay with any requests that point out a specific season.

3.

Url: @wells-jaha​

Dear Author letter: here

Prompt 1: An intimacy

had grown between us

like a forest around a castle.

- Louise Glück, excerpt of The Sword in the Stone

(taken from here)

Prompt 2: (Art) Heist AU

What I kind of want (a few examples):

1) In which Raven and her gang have been part of a series of heists all over the continent and Bellamy is the private detective/ police detective (if you really want to) set out to stop their next possible heist. But maybe he's impressed, maybe a little into her? Who knows!

2) In which Raven and Bellamy are part of different rival heist groups both set on the same object, naturally that means that they will clash somehow.

These are of course only examples, you can do whatever you want. It doesn't even have to be an art heist. I'm however kind of set on Bellamy and Raven being on different sides for this, so that it (hopefully) turn into to nice frenemy making out stuff.

Prompt 3: And we fall through empty corridors

And we talk in useless metaphors

(Only cause we're lonley)

A Vague Prompt around the topic/theme Friends with Benefits with Ben Howard's Empty Corridors (Youtube Link Here) as inspiration. Can be canon compliant, doesn't have to be.

Prompt 4: Something about longing, about being in love, but never finding the right words, about circling each other for years and years, always missing the right time, always having the courage in the moment the other is in a relationship or not there. A horrible dance, Bellamy and Raven are caught in.

Things they don’t want to find in the fic you write for them: daddy kink, gruesome death scenes, gore, a successful suicide

Also: my fandom blog is named wells-jaha, so guess which character I would like to see a) living b) as a friend/former partner of Bellamy or Raven?

i'm fine with Octavia being in the fanfiction, but either revise the whole character (make her like season 1) or deal critical with her actions.

I'm fine with a lot of stuff, but would prefer if the writer could tag: abuse, self harm, suicide, alcoholism (note: only use if a character has an alcohol problem, not if characters just drink alcohol)

4.

Url: @kinselllas​

Prompt 1: Raven's on a date waiting for Finn, and he takes so long to show up, Bellamy ends up sliding into his seat to take over so she doesn't feel stood up (could be taken in a few directions)

Prompt 2: Bellamy and Raven reunite at a wedding, slow dance, admit that maybe...deep down...there's always been something ;)

Prompt 3: Pre-series/Season 1 AU- Bellamy is the person Raven comes to the ground for.

Things they don’t want to find in the fic you write for them: N/A

5.

Url: @ravenbells​

Dear Author Letter: here

Prompt 1: Modern AU with a proper millennial vibe. Think debt, lack of stability and shit jobs, but also strong political opinions, easy access to sex ed, social media. Let them negotiate boundaries, use sex toys, struggle with navigating both commitment and casual sex, change jobs and houses all the time. Obviously I’d like Bellamy and Raven to be front and center, but if you want to make them function within a group of family/friends (Octavia, Monty, Miller, Harper, Lincoln, whoever else you please), be my guest.

Prompt 2: The Ancient Rome AU I Deserve. I don’t really care how you place them. Republic? Early Empire? Late Empire? I am not the boss of you. Just let them be Romans.

Prompt 3: Canon-verse. Bellamy thinks of his body as a shield.

Prompt 4: Bellamy and Raven agree to have a casual, no-strings-attached relationship, except they both catch feelings embarrassingly quickly. You can make this canon or modern, I don’t really mind.

Prompt 5:  Canon-verse. Anything exploring parenthood. It can be a pregnancy scare, or an actual baby, or maybe just a conversation about sex/contraception that turns into Bellamy and Raven discussing their options.

Things they don’t want to find in the fic you write for them: Overly sugary view on parenthood; major character death; erasing Raven's disability.

Also: I have only seen the first 2 seasons, please have mercy on me.

6.

Url: @tentaclabia​  (shortitude on AO3)

Dear Author Letter: here

Prompt 1: (canon-ish) The one where they keep cuddling each other for no good reason, just casually in a snuggle pile talking about life and the future or the past, or just sleeping. Casual contact, casual offerings of comfort, and of course they mean so much more.

Prompt 2: (future!au or canon-deviation!au) There is a unanimous decision to explore more land, so it's Bellamy and Raven in a car, on a roadtrip, being at peace and exploring and feeding their curiosity and feeling free and happy. Also in  love.

Prompt 3: (once-upon-a-canon) The one where they talk about the elephant in the room: that time they had sex. (And how they'd totally do it again.)

Prompt 4: (the trashiest prompt) Raven is convinced that Bellamy has feelings for Clarke and is determined not to let history repeat herself when it comes to love. Bellamy is just confused and wonders how much more can he do save for write 'RAVEN REYES PLEASE LOVE ME' on his forehead for her to notice just who he's really pining for.

Prompt 5: (canon reinterpretation) Season 5, except Raven and Bellamy have been together for 4 and a half years and there's nothing that can tear them apart. Alternatively, what season 5 would look like, if they were.

Things they don’t want to find in the fic you write for them: death. angst over death of parental figure (please don't). trauma and exploitation of trauma. torture. unhappy endings.

Also: I haven't mentioned it, but it goes without saying that I will be glad for all and any smutty content :)

 7.

Url: veritykims (twitter)

Prompt 1: Thieves AU: Any AU where Bell and Raven are both thieves of some kind (con artists, burglars, hackers, pickpockets). Favorites include Robin-Hood type criminals (think Leverage) and rivals trying to steal the same thing/con the same person (think Imposters); but any take is cool. I would absolutely love to see this set aboard the Ark in the canon verse, but other settings are cool too.

Prompt 2: Android AU: Any AU where Bell and/or Raven is an android! Contemporary settings are cool, but so is futurism. I would really like to see this as a canon divergency too, given that ALIE sort of gives us the basis for self-aware AIs. Up to you!

Prompt 3: Reincarnation AU: Any AU where Bell and Raven keep meeting across lifetimes. I really like the variation where one of the two is immortal for some reason (vampire, robot, demon, deity, etc.) and the other is either a human or a mortal supernatural creature; so that’s a safe bet; but I’m sure to love any take on this.

Prompt 4: Pirates AU: Historical pirates! Anything will be cool, but I’m a big fan of Raven as either Captain or Quartermaster, and Bell as an ex-navy soldier who heavily resents the Empire.

Prompt 5:  Other prompts (I can’t post a Dear Author so bear with me): Modern Holmes/Elementary AU. Professors at the same college AU. Queen Of The South AU. Any vigilante/superhero AU. Pride and Prejudice AU. Space pirates/space bounty hunters AU. Pacific Rim AU.

Things they don’t want to find in the fic you write for them: No pregnancy or babies, but I’m cool with adopted children and teens. No AUs that erase Raven’s disability. No canon-compliant fic that portrays the Griffins, Octavia, Murphy or Finn in positive light (I would much rather they just don’t exist, at any rate). No abuse, no assault, no rape.

Also: I don’t mind canon compliant fic, but I haven’t watched in a couple seasons, so I only really know the characters and plots for s1, s2 and part of s3. I love Nathan, Wells, and Monty; as well as Lincoln, Jaha, Kane, Indra, Anya, Sinclair, Gina, Harper and Monroe; and I love seeing them integrated into stories. Big fan of Bell/Nathan and Bell/Wells as well as Bell/Wells/Raven and Gina/Raven/Bell, so if you wanna go for polya… And, JSYK, explicit stories are more than welcome!

8.

Url: @growlereish

Dear Author Letter: here

Prompt 1: gina/bellamy/raven - gina and bellamy are dating. raven is pining for both of them, but unbeknownst to her they're both also in love with her! somehow they all work this out and get together.

Prompt 2: bellamy/raven - post-breakup, learning how to be friends again.

Prompt 3: bellamy/raven - virgin!bellamy enlists his best friend raven to experiment with this whole sex thing. casually. but then both of them catch feelings.

Prompt 4: bellamy/raven - marriage of convenience which they are both determined will stay platonic. of course, it does not.

Prompt 5:  bellamy/raven - doing fun activities together and enjoying their life and being happy!! some sadness is also okay but i just want my kids to have a Good Day for once in their lives.

Things they don’t want to find in the fic you write for them: kidfic, pregnancy, power imbalances

Also: pls warn for self-harm and coming out stories involving parents

9.

Url: @icouldnotsee

Prompt 1: Bellamy and/or Raven in political office, whether this be in a monarchy or a democracy. Bonus if there's a coup (that they're the subject of or that they're behind). Also bonus if one or both weren't expecting to be in power, but they were runner-up to someone else  and now are thrust into that position and must find their footing.

Prompt 2: Telepathy, where after getting sick with the disease that the Grounders sent to the 100 through Murphy, Bellamy develops the ability to hear thoughts but he can't hear Raven's. Of course, that's just the version of it that came to my mind, but anything with mind reading/telepathy is cool with me, canon or AU, any set up or situation.

Prompt 3: They meet in the Ark, either really young, after Bellamy becomes a guard, after Finn takes the fall for Raven's spacewalk, or after Bellamy's a janitor.

Prompt 4: Hurt/Comfort. I have no other specifications on this one, I just really love that trope.

Prompt 5: Angel/demon or angel/human or human/demon or angel/angel or demon/demon stuff! I love seeing that in stories and it'd be cool to see interactions with creatures beyond humanity.

Things they don’t want to find in the fic you write for them: I'm rather not receive smut beyond it being implied. Also, I really would not like to see any infidelity or character bashing in the fic I receive.

Also: No nsfw content.

10.

Url: @laufire

Dear Author Letter: here

Prompt 1: Braven + Mythology AU. Specially if they’re still humans who get mixed up in some Gods Drama™

Prompt 2: Raven + her love for science. Preferably canon-verse. Can be gen or shippy.

Prompt 3: Braven Historical AU of your choosing.

Prompt 4: Post-s4 canon divergence: all the sex in space. Zero-G sex, kinky sex, healing emotional sex. Just. Sex.

Prompt 5:  Bellamy/Raven/Shaw – Canon Divergent AU: Different First Meeting (as in, Shaw meets Braven/the Space7 in a different way).

Things they don’t want to find in the fic you write for them: Clarke written in any positive way. I don’t want them cheating on other people (poly ships are more than fine). Any rating works for me. No watersports, humiliation. I’m not really into Modern AUs or Soulmate AUs. And PLEASE don't erase Raven's disability.

11.

Url: @maybenowforeverlate

Prompt 1: Bellamy admiring Raven In Space. Raven on earth was already incredible, and that was her adapting to a new environment. but the environment she's from? in her fucking element??? i'm into it and so is Bellamy.  competence. kink.  

Prompt 2: "She could not remember, now, ever, feeling happy or sad. Only hungry. Only empty, and greedy, and insatiable. "

(Catherynne M. Valente, Deathless)

Raven centric, canon or AU.

Prompt 3: Raven being subtle about taking care of Bellamy. prefer a loose canon-verse, but can be modern AU or any type of AU.

Things they don’t want to find in the fic you write for them: I do not know what's happening in the most recent season, and I would prefer any canon-verse/divergence to be from before Bellamy and co get back to Earth w/Raven in space.

12.

Url: @becketted

Prompt 1: The 100 are sent down to the ground but in batches of people, rather than all at the same time, Bellamy is among the first to go to earth, Raven among the last ones. When she arrives Bellamy is the one who has to show her the ropes on how earth and the Grounders work, he geeks out about both the plants/animals stuff and the bits of earth history he's discovered (so different from what they teach in the Ark!), while Raven uses her skills to help everybody face the structural challenges of living on the ground, Bellamy admires a lot, they fall in love, etc.

Prompt 2: 1960s AU where Raven is a mechanic and the Space Race inspires her to become an astronaut, her trials to become one, etc. Bellamy can be a geek working at NASA (national security staff?), a journalist covering Raven's amazing career, her supporting boyfriend, I don't mind, I just want Raven as a 1960s/70s astronaut. It doesn't have to be a super detailed AU, just the flavor of the era would do.

Prompt 3: Arranged marriage/marriage by lottery. It can be on the ground or in the Ark, I don't care, I just love this trope a lot, I just want them awkwardly sharing a bed and pining a lot.

Prompt 4: Pirates AU, because who doesn't want that? (Historical, but space pirates are okay too, as long as Raven and Bellamy do some swashbuckling)

Things they don’t want to find in the fic you write for them: Pregnancy. Anything that involves Murphy in a positive light (Murphy being in the fic is fine, as long as the portrayal is negative). I will not read/write Kane/Abby stuff. Other characters are fine.

Also: I'm very partial to stories about the Grounders (both reading and writing them), they're my faves.

13.

Url: chll51 (AO3)

Prompt 1: It can be canon compliance or not but just something to do with this quote:

"I think we deserve a soft epilogue, my love. We are good people and we've suffered enough."

Prompt 2: modern AU: First day at a new job and the boss is Bellamy, who Raven has Hooked up with the night prior.

Prompt 3: high school reunion: need a date.

Things they don’t want to find in the fic you write for them: I don't care much for smut but if it's fit with the story then sure. also, I have vanilla taste so I guess keep it like that.

[justanothercinemaniac]

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #143 - The Librarian: Curse of the Judas Chalice

Spoilers below

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: Yes.

Do I remember it: Yes.

Did I see it in theaters: I don’t think it’s ever been shown in theaters, so no.

Format: DVD

1) At the time of viewing this it was the only Librarian film I had never rewatched. Not from a dislike of the film, I do enjoy it, more just because I was never in the mood before I guess.

2) The opening is very 007 while also still remaining very much Librarian. It is clear they’re going for a 007 vibe (a strong separate adventure establishing the character and tone for the film which doesn’t have too much bearing on the rest of the plot) but Flynn is still a dork (sneezing into a glass of champagne and then explaining how it’s not really champagne) and the humor is still there. It’s a lot of fun!

3) One thing I truly enjoy about this film is we get a bit more with Charlene/Jane Curtin. She is on the phone with Flynn during most of the beginning, and her reactions to the escalating purchases is incredible. Shows you that Jane Curtin is still comedy gold.

4) The entire auction scene is awesome, actually. It relies very heavily on comedic misunderstanding on three fronts: Flynn with his girlfriend, Flynn with Charlene, and Flynn with the auctioneer. It leads to some clever gags and just good fun all around!

5) I love the duel Flynn has with this random villain at the beginning of the picture, but more than that I love how they’re both history nerds! How they talk about the artifacts they’re destroying and the history behind them and GAH! Whey couldn’t we have more of this bad guy!? I LOVE this bad guy!

6) The large connection annex!

I love the effort in these films to make The Library more and more wondrous and (in result) giving us a regular stream of Flynn geek out sessions! I would 100% be Flynn in the library. Just saying.

7) I totally love Flynn’s breakdown in this film, and Wyle is amazing in the scene. It is absolutely hysterical and shows Flynn at a point of pressure we haven’t seen even when his LIFE is threatened!

Flynn: “Yeah I’m fine. Yeah I’m good. What could POSSIBLY be wrong!? I mean I work in a BASEMENT! Doing a secret job I can’t even tell my mother about! AND MY BEST FRIEND IS A SWORD! What could possibly be wrong!?

Charlene: “I think he’s snapped!”

Flynn: “This place is SUCKING THE LIFE OUT OF ME! I look around, I don’t even see relics anymore. You know what I see? I see the parts of my life I have GIVEN UP finding them! Blackbeard’s chest, my mom’s sixty-fifth birthday! DaVinci’s diary, my ten year college reunion! Do you even KNOW how often those come along?”

[Beat as Judson and Charlene look at each other.]

Judson: “Um...ten...ten years?”

8) Can I just say, I could have really used more scenes between Judson and Charlene in these movies.

(GIFs originally posted by @flynnscarnation.)

9) Bruce Davidson!

Davidson is probably best known for his villainous role as Senator Kelly in the original X-Men film, but his role here as Professor Lazlo in this film is a nice change of pace. For most of the film he’s a little more introspective and definitely more intellectual. There’s a certain sadness and age he plays to Lazlo, but a nice twist he brings to the part when the story allows him to (more on that later).

10) One of the best things about this film is when Charlene comes to Flynn’s apartment more-than-a-little-drunk and has a heart-to-heart with him.

Charlene: “These are travel brochures for vacations I never took.”

Charlene: “You’re not the only one this job has cost.”

It’s a side to Charlene we’ve never seen before. A fun side, a regretful side, an empathetic side, and a side I really wish we’d get to see more of because Curtin plays it wonderfully.

11) Can we just all take a moment to appreciate how incredibly dorky Flynn’s New Orleans outfit is?

He’s such a dork I love it.

12) Stana Katic as Simone.

I love Stana Katic. Stana Katic is what kept me going through the weaker final seasons of “Castle”. The news that Stana Katic would not be on a proposed ninth season of “Castle” if it were renewed had me stop watching it. Her brief appearance in Quantum of Solace was great for me. I think Stana Katic is incredible and her performance in this film is no exception.

Simone may be the best developed of all three female leads in the Librarian film series, and considering how great Emily Davenport was that’s saying something. She is devoted to her destiny, she embraces it and celebrates it (and she tries to encourage Flynn to do the same). She has this incredible love for life and energy you see in all her scenes, a remarkable feat considering the fact that she’s dead. Her life is defined by her destiny, her need to do good, but also the pain she’s held. The loss of her lover, of her LIFE. Yet most of her scenes are defined by this love of life I mentioned before. A playfulness, a fun energy and just sincere passion that infects every scene she’s in. She messes with Flynn, she used to be an Opera singer because she LOVES music, she has this incredible smile and it’s just...GAH! I’m obviously a bit biased because I love Katic so much but I think she KILLS it as Simone.

13) Obligatory Jonathan Frakes (the director of this film and the previous Librarian film) cameo!

14) It is also worth noting that Wyle and Katic have some incredible chemistry. Maybe even more so than Flynn did with Emily in the last film, and THAT is saying something.

15) So I’m pretty familiar with most fictional movie logic, but I have to say the idea that Judas (the disciple who betrayed Christ in most Christian religions) is a new idea I kinda like. It gives the vampire an interesting origin and provides a lot of explanations (why silver harms them because of Judas’ thirty pieces of silver, their fear of the crucifix, how a wooden stake from an Aspen tree can kill them because that was the kind of tree Judas hung himself from, etc.).

16) I love this line.

Andrew [after Flynn is surprised he doesn’t believe in Voodoo]: “What? I’m a black man living in New Orleans, I have to believe in Voodoo? It’s the twenty-first century.”

17) I have said time and time again that I would probably be Flynn in these situations. Like Flynn, my tongue can be too sharp for its own good.

Flynn [after being asked why he wants the Judas Chalice]: “I already have the Judas plate and the Judas knife and fork, so if I want the complete set...”

Flynn [after the bad guy monologues]: “Wow. I’ve actually never sat this close to a psychopath before.”

18) This random thug has known Flynn for MAYBE an hour (TOPS!) and already has made a great observation about him.

Thug: “You always talk in like whole paragraphs, you ever notice that?”

19) The deepened mythology of The Library - how it holds the Tree of Knowledge and is pitched in a bigger war between good and evil - doesn’t ever really get to play out in a film. However, you can see THAT story in the TV show followup “The Librarians” on TNT!

Now that I’m done with the commercial segment of my post...

20) The twist of having Bruce Davidson’s Lazlo end up being Count Dracula who needed the titular chalice to recover his strength is actually really great. I did NOT see that coming the first time I saw this film, and I think it continues the trend started in Return to King Solomon’s Mines of having a nice final act twist to keep the audience on its toes. They work better than one might initially expect.

21) Okay, I have so many questions...

Flynn [after saying he’s fought evil in many forms]: “Approximately thirty-five forms. Give or take.”

So we have the bad guy from the first Librarian, the time traveling ninjas from the end of the first film, the Crystal Skull dude from the beginning of Return to King Solomon’s Mines, the main bad guys from that film, and the evil historian guy from the beginning of this film. That’s five forms of evil. What are the other thirty?

22) So after Flynn kills Dracula Simone decides to move on, to let herself die so her soul can be at rest because she protected the Chalice and now the vampire who turned her is dead. And you know how she goes out?

Simone: “I’ve always wanted to see the sunrise again. Will you watch with me?”

She watches the sunrise with Flynn...

And they confess their love to each other right before she dies.

(GIF originally posted by @queerseth)

You hear that? That sound in the distance? Oh it’s nothing. Just my heart breaking.

I really enjoy this film and I think it’s a fitting end to what has become The Librarian trilogy. I think it may be as good as Return to King Solomon’s Mines if not for different reasons. The handling of vampires in the film gives it a distinct taste, Wyle and Newhart are great as always, Curtin gets some more fun things to do, and the addition of Stana Katic to the cast is just 100% spectacularly! I think it’s just great and if you like any of the other Librarian stuff, Stana Katic, or just adventure films in general, you should give this a watch.

[xvdfx-blog]

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which muse is the trickiest to get into character for?Malix hands down! I like to think that I’m a pretty sweet person without any homicidal tendencies so trying to get into character to write down somebody who is pure evil can be really tricky most of the time and I’m much slower with him than any of my other muses. I’d also say James can be quite tough to get into since he’s very articulate and intelligent so I really need to be wide awake and completely alert to write him.

why were you drawn to each one of your characters?James, Erik, Sam, Matthew, Damien & Malix ~ I played Seduce me the Demon war and fell in love with their characters. For a couple of months after I was thinking about making a mutimuse of them and ended up caving and making one night. I chose their faceclaims due to how much they really reminded me of the characters (The creator even said she could see James being played with Mark and @thenextleap helped me find a more suitable Sam face with Mingyu)Ezra was originally supposed to be Saero but I felt I’d be playing the character too AU since much wasn’t given away in the game so I scratched that idea, kept the face I’d chosen and decided to create an OC that was an angel insteadMin was inspired by a game I’ve always wanted to play but never gotten around to (Nameless the one thing you must recall) I really liked the idea of creating a doll that came to life and how they would adjust to the real world by being thrown into it and Jeonghan’s aesthetic seemed perfect for itInsik and Minjae were also based on characters from visual novels (Amnesia & Ozmafia) and I’m still unsure if I feel right with Insik’s fc but Wonwoo reminds me a lot of Axel when he’s wearing his glassesI came up with Chunhwa a night I couldn’t sleep and I was over thinking a lot. I had some evil demons/vampires on my blog at the time and was strictly supernatural then but I wanted a sweet character and then went off into this whole nature verses nurture debate in my head which had me give what could be a dangerous creature one of the sweetest and kindest personalities. I thought Lovelyz Kei would be the perfect fitting face for her

Minx was created to bring a little more comedy to my blog since i had really serious and well spoken demons, some depressed muses, an evil one and I just wanted to be able to have some lighter threads as well as a muse who could be a good friend to other peoples sad muses. Again in the supernatural theme I went demon but decided to make her one of mischief rather than any real sin and Minhee just felt perfect to play herJunseo was created after I saw someone’s wanted connection for a long lost son for their muse because I knew they could have some really interesting threads and I liked the whole basic plot for itI thought of Jeyun on another night I couldn’t sleep when I was thinking about Junseo. Junseo went through so much and other than being a little quiet some times, he’s actually one of my more emotionally strong muses. I started creating scenarios in my head of what could have happened to him if he hadn’t been so strong and then I came up with Jeyun. I was actually lost on who to use on a face so went on a search and the second I saw Yeongyyu I was like HIM!Jongsoo was created along side another muse who I did end up getting rid of. I just really liked the idea of the possessed and the possesser and I was really getting into SF9 at the time so went for Zuho because I could see the face fittingMinjung & Hyunwook were more muses created to be a little more comedic and lighter characters since I had made several who weren’t the easiest people to interact with. I wanted to make Minjung bright and bubbly to go against stereotypes of her more gothic interests and I liked the idea of a paranormal investigator. Hyunwook was created as her best friend with a similar personality but he’s a lot more clumsier and has a habit of putting his foot in it when he doesn’t mean to. Their faces I just felt fit

Mina was made because I am a sucker for the whole poor little monster thing. She doesn’t want to hurt people and she never asked to be what she is but I also liked the angst that she could actually snap at any moment and Sulli/Jinri was the first person to come to mindI wanted to make Jihee after listening to NS Yoonji’s reasons to become a witch and I was re watching friends at the time so I wanted to give her a slight hippiy Phoebe vibeGayoon was made from me watching the Black Swan and again an overactive imagination I ended up making a very bitchy character but one who was a bitch for reasons.I wanted to make Eunji after falling in love with Dreamcatcher (hense me using SuA’s face too) and for a long time I had this plot in mind which I was so lucky someone seemed interested in so I could make her

Daehee was the first muse that I created because I wanted to use the faceclaim. He was originally going to be a boxer but after I started writing his bio out everything went in a whole new direction to him being in an underground fight club

Hyungmin, Sungmin, Hyojoo, Jaeseop, Joonho, Sungki and Jieun were all created soon after Daehee because I fell in love with the idea of developing the ring into something I could do more with and I got a little too into the idea that I had positions that needed workers. Some o the fc’s were chosen because I saw they were wished for fc’s to see more of in krp and their characters were inspired by different things (I’m a serious sucker for the misunderstood. Characters who do bad things but with a rough background that kind of turned their life in that direction. Good people, most with morals etc)Light was made because I really wanted to use Tatsuya’s face and as a huge Death note fan I thought it could be so much fun playing a lawful evil character on my blog. which muse is the most fun to write for? answereddo your muses get along with each other? Answeredhave you ever considered making a multimuse/is it easier having a multimuse?  ~ answeredwhich muses’ fandom do you like the best? 

I honestly can’t say. After seeing a lot of awful things happen in my first ever fandom I try to avoid them and the drama by quietly supporting my favesmost importantly, are you having fun playing each one of your muses?I do