#she has 0 powers she's just deranged

[protagonist-art]

FORGOT TO POST HER!! this is my Darkwing Duck villain oc Miss Demeanor!! >:o) She's demented!! Demeanor is a drag queen- by day he's Carlo, a guy stuck working full time at minimum in St. Carnard. By night, she's Miss Demeanor- a flashy, glamorous villain who seeks to improve St. Carnard's drab looks through forceful pizazzing <3

[duran-duran-less-official]

So I think the thing with cop media that has its defenders even among leftists who are normally very cynical of copaganda,

and the examples I'm thinking of are the City Watch Discworld books, Columbo, and to a lesser extent, Hot Fuzz,

the thing that all of these have in common is that these characters - Columbo, Sam Vimes, Nicholas Angel - apply the law equally to rich people as they do to poor. The fact that it's harder to take down the rich person is not a deterrent, in fact it usually only makes them try harder.

I think where Brooklyn Nine Nine loses out and becomes copaganda is in the underlying assumptions. Note that Madeline Wuntch is evil because she wants to discredit Holt's department by showing that their use of police funds is turning up no results - and she expected that when she gave them additional funding. However, she is not evil for introducing those additional funds just to perpetuate the War on Drugs at the expense of however many nonviolent offenders it takes to make the stats look good. That's not a factor any character on the show considers. The understanding is that the police SHOULD be enforcing the War on Drugs, but that Wuntch has given them a weapon that is ineffective but makes for good PR.

Whereas Frank Butterman et al. are evil because they insist upon Sanford being a paradise exclusively for old, white retirees and absolutely nobody else, and are willing to murder street performers and teenage hoodlums just to satisfy their deranged idea of a peaceful village. The underlying assumption is that a peaceful, law-abiding village is a bad thing because "law and order" is enforced by a visit to the catacombs. It's noticeable how Nicholas Angel's crusade to arrest the whole village results in exactly 0 deaths, at least until the head of the Neighbourhood Watch Alliance decides to get a little too clever in the vicinity of a sea mine. Killing wrongdoers provides order, but not law, and the philosophical disagreement between Angel and Butterman is that there is a difference between those two concepts.

Meanwhile, in Feet of Clay (the best Sam Vimes Discworld book), Vimes says "The common people? They’re nothing special. They’re no different from the rich and powerful except they’ve got no money or power. But the law should be there to balance things up a bit. So I suppose I’ve got to be on their side." Which stands as his entire philosophy of policing on its own, to say nothing of the fact that he's just spent a whole book making life very difficult for every single aristocrat.

The escapist fantasy of a police officer ends up being one who applies the law equally.

[semi-imaginary-place]

umineko ep 2-3

for a story proclaiming to be about love, the romances all kinda suck. Kinzo's onesided(?) deranged obsession is probably the most interesting. Ep2's been devoting a lot if attention to shannon and george and kanon and jessica and it's reminding me why i usually hate romance stories. 0 chemistry.

Hey beato is here looking like a 90s schoolgirl. Why did kinzo refuse beatrice from his study he's been raving about wanting to see her after all this time. And his contract with her is what has kept her locked to the island for the last 30 years? Their relationship is so weird. Wondering is battler is going to end up the next kinzo.

That goat is goated. Ripped with painted on clothes

Aw beatrice and battler really are getting along she wants him to call her beato. Also the fetish list is growing, I've been on the internet too long, she really wants battler to lick her shoes.

Hmm is there magic why gouta, shanon, and genji can't say much like why they didn't think it was kanon or like the whole shrugging off fatal injury and burned by spider webs.

Battler logic lol. I wonder if the terms of beatrice's powers means she always has to leave an "out". The phrasing of some of the red lines makes me wonder, there were no other people in the room, but what about beatrice's furniture she doesn't consider them people.

Wow ok that was straight up a scene from erotica. wtf kinky. Human pet dehumanization objectification humiliation degradation vore. The group vore. exhibitionism feet master slave. She might as well start pegging him. Guess this is the "good" ending rosa actually protected maria shanon and george and kanon and jessica got to die together genji stayed with kizo until the end kinza got to see beatrice and battlers a slave. And beatrice even got rosa to acknowledge her existence. And look how much happier beatrice is that battler's resisting she looked bored with him as furniture like she was trying to provoke his rebellion. It this how the it/its kink started this game is like from 2005? Oh of course bea has the 7 stakes to do the pegging for her.

Ep 3. Eva girlboss backstory. Wow sexism i want to puke. Minus the magic 100% of ushiromiya problems are from kinzo's grade F parenting. Eva in some ways did give up, pushing her dreams onto George. Everyone would have been better off if eva had cut off krauss and kinzo, gave up on ushiromiya all together and made her own way in life. Generational trauma i wonder if george's freak-ness is from eva's complexes. Can't tell if middle school eva is beatrice/witches/magic or actually her inner voice.

Hmm i distinctly remember in ep1 that jessica didn't realize she had a crush on kanon until he died. But in ep2 and here in 3 she's realized it before the conference even started. Are these repeated realities affecting subsequent ones? Just like how shannon was so embarrassed she ran away in ep2 but confidently put the ring on in ep2. Love has been a recurring element like it's the strongest magic or something?? So maybe it's transcending these boardgames/loops and accumulating each time? And it's not noticle with the adults because they're much older with more established relationships we only see the changes in the new developing relationships. Then who does battler love?

Thinking about it george's blue green beige color scheme is the furthest from beatrice who black red gold. Battler and kinzo have similar color schemes white and red minus kinzo's beatrice colored cape. I think battler will take on kinzo or beatrice's role by the end. Or that's a red herring and maybe he will actually escape rokujima. I wonder if battler wins he could actually take all beatrice's power and turn her into a human so that he shifts reality so that the 19th person is made real.

Huh. Oh there's going to be time shenanigans arent there. Like 1000 year old witch but 1000 years where. 1000 years as a witch could mean years outside of being a witch and as witches are outside of reality that 1000 years could have been outside real time. This is such a ti game and im a te i want evidence. So we have a baby gold/brown haired beatrice learning magic from silver haired beatrice. Current beatrice tells battler of her mentor in the next scene. Then in the same mansion a young woman Beatrice asks an old kinzo who she is and current beatrice confirms that us her past. I cant remember did kinzo say he got the gold from beatrice or from the gold beatrice specifically. Because im starting to suspect kinzo contracted with silver beatrice, gold beatrice is their daughter and then she took on silver beatrice's role and name and spent 1000 years in an instance outside of reality which would make the beatrice battler romantic/sexual tension real incestly. "human made by a human" bird in a cage Beatrice said this before. It's also possible ahe was a witch before meeting kinzo but he somehow managed to trap her and turn her into a human so she's stripped of the witch part temporarily. Ok throw all that out still not sure about silver beatrice but if im interpreting current beatrice right she was the witch contracted and then trapped by kinzo. Un-aging, to escape him and the mansion (ku... Something) she left behind her flesh body which is why only some of the servants can see her but it seems she is still trapped on the island. Kinzo continues to be the worst "how many affection tokens do i have to pay before she likes me", forced "consent", "why doesnt she like me i only imprisoned her for 30 years." So current beatrice's body actually did die how did kinzo "make" another identical one. Magic baby, got it. literal groomer. I dont really feel bad about his anguish anymore. Young woman/teen? Beato in 1967 (also being evil aged kinzo if he's looked the same for 19 years). But if that were true that homunculus would be like 40 in the current time. Or is kinzo constantly killing and remaking beatrice i wouldn't put it past him. That fence is totally climbable just very dangerous there's foothold everywhere of course if you fall you'll break your neck. Hmm so 30+ , 19, and 0 years ago beatrice's body was grown. So for the beatrice rosa met to have grown up by 19 years ago, gold witch beatrice must have killed her body very soon after imprisonment. The body the family meets in ep2 must be a new one but was that another magic baby kinzo alchemied or one beatrice manifested for the conference.

Oh yeah Beatrice is regaining her power in successive rounds there's more and more magic each round. Kumasawa is a sealed silver beatrice.genji shanon and kanon are homunculi. At this rate is gouta will be a sealed demon.

Ronove just snarking at beatrice at every turn. With commentators this time it's less intimate but beatrice us less intimidating. After all the fuss battler made about not wanting to suspect any of the 18 last 2 episodes.

Yeah baby mind eva is talking about magic i suspect a witch is involved.

Uh so eva wished so hard to made herself a witch? This is going a little too well for eva. She found the gold became the ushiromiya head, and got Beatrice's name and titles. Interestingly it is baby meta eva that becomes beatrice not adult eva. Hmm with eva's solution this could be an end to the game as beatrice will not revive and the twilights will stop but somehow i feel like battler isnt going to accept that and deny eva this fate. Or eva Beatrice will continue the matches against battler.

Oh so the murders are continuing. Hmm i guess it is beatrice who is reviving but eva already has a body. Battler be like do not interact with me and she takes it personally. Beato's immaturity is showing virgilia is right she is like a spoiled kid. Beato sees eva doing the exact same and wow self reflection? She's so put out battler is mad and disappointed in her. She's a sadist she just needs to find a masochist who wants to be tortured on the weekends. Wow beato social consequences to your actions.

Kyrie: "i don't blame rudolph [for cheating and getting 2 women pregnant at the same time]" well i do. Kyrie and rudolph are a sexist match in heaven. Like damn kyrie hating on asuma when rudolph's the real problem. Kyrie and asuma should gave gotten together and ditched rudolph.

Hold up why DOES beato needs battler's acknowledgement but eva beatrice not need anyone's.

Well this is an early character development we arent even half way through. I miss the murderous beato she was having so much fun tormenting people. What determines who is a witch. Beato now adheres to vigilia's definition of witch. Why does meta battler exist anyways like meta wise it's commentary on stories and perspective but whats the in universe reason. Rosa isnt there even though she never believed in episode 2.

Wow im remembering how annoying the romances are in this novel. Also romantic love is the most powerful? Hate that.

forgot to mention earlier. Yuuuup schrondingers cat. All these neta battles are to determine which version of reality is true.

Nearing end of ep3 and gotta say i thought this was a murder mystery battler beato chess battle but this main plot has turned out to be witch battles idk if i like it i liked the murder mystery better.

Why is vigilia there didnt she die. Uhhhhhh thoughts. Compared to the other episodes battler gave up too easily. The writer did that so that beato could have her moment. I lost the plot didnt evatrice need everyone to believe in witches. Game battler still doesnt believe just like in ep1. Alternate reality beatrice whos a girl stuck n the secret mansion

I once again do not understand what is going on

Hmm so was eva ever really beatrice. Ah there's the beatrice who was having fun but i dont think all that fondness was a lie, the villain persona isn't fake but it is deliberate she's decided to continue playing villain. I wonder if killing virgilia was also a lie. Lamdadelta turned Beatrice from a human into a witch i wonder if that has to do with ep3 did she actually lose witch status to trick battler.

[balis77]

You know I feel like whenever people talk about something that's been going on so long the quality has decayed because the creators just keep throwing out more stuff, they're usually talking about long runner cartoons like Spongebob or Fairy Odd Parents, or shows that went way past the point of original planning and lost the original plot like Walking Dead or Game of Thrones.

But you know what's probably the ultimate example of "We've been going so long and through so many writers we've lost all semblance of sanity"? Fucking comics. You have any idea how absolutely deranged mainline DC and Marvel have gotten over the years, using the same narrative for their main titles for so long?

Eddie Brock got retconned into having cancer, then retconned into thinking he had cancer because the symbiote wanted him to think he had cancer so he wouldn't take it off, only it turned out it did so so well it actually gave him cancer

Wally West once accidentally murdered a whole bunch of superheroes at a superhero mental health facility because his powers randomly overloaded in a way that never happened before or since. It was a whole mystery as to who could've done it and not only was Wally not one of the suspects the whole time, he was thought to be one of the victims, and there was absolutely 0 foreshadowing or clues to any of this being the case.

Jason Todd initially came back to life because a multiverse variant of Superman (Superboy Prime, long story) punched reality so hard it retconned him into never dying in the first place. Except everything else played out the same so he literally had to break out of his own coffin even though he never died.

Scarlet Witch and Quicksliver have been retconned back and forth from being Magneto's kids like a dozen fucking times. And note, the idea that they could be his kids in the first place was itself a retcon since they were initially labeled as being the kids of two completely different superheroes from Golden Age.

The symbiotes went from being "Strange alien slimes that act as symbiotic suits for people" to being the spawn of the god of darkness, who's original appearance for them was... a bunch of dragons. Not the symbiotes possessing dragons just... symbiotes perfectly formed into the shape of dragons. And two of these dragons wound up on Earth in ancient times and were the basis for Grendel and his mother from Beowulf.

Spider-Man once discovered Gwen Stacy had an affair with Norman Osborne, and because of the goblin formula in his body the kids from that affair aged rapidly to adults who Osborne then sent to kill Peter by telling them that Peter was their father and killed their mother. Mary Jane even told Peter she knew about the affair beforehand... except this was so unpopular it got retconned to being even more ridiculous, because actually the affair wasn't real, Norman had Mysterio hypnotize MJ into thinking it was real by disguising himself as her therapist, the kids were actually clones he made (and weren't in on any of this), and the whole thing was just a needlessly elaborate bit to fuck with Peter Parker.

In both DC and Marvel vampires are real. Not like, "there was a scientific experiment that made someone with vampire-like abilities" (Even though this has happened in both. Characters like Man-Bat and Morbius just coincidentally super-scienced their way into similar traits), not any kind of mutant or metahuman infection, but like, just normal, Bram Stoker-style vampires are real and always have been. Dracula is a character in both. Hell in Marvel he fought alongside Captain America in World War 2 against the Nazis. Jubilee got turned into a vampire for a while because Dracula's son bit her.

[hchollym]

Do you think there's any way that Elia was okay with Rhaegar and Lyanna running off together?

No. I really don’t. And actually, if GRRM ends up writing the story in a way that makes it seem like Elia was okay with it, then it’s honestly going to make me sick.

First of all, we have the reaction of everyone at the tourney at Harrenhal: 

Ned remembered the moment when all the smiles died, when Prince Rhaegar Targaryen urged his horse past his own wife, the Dornish princess Elia Martell, to lay the queen of beauty's laurel in Lyanna's lap. 

If “all the smiles died”, that includes Elia’s, and who could blame her? This was a humiliating moment for her. She was his wife and the princess, and he spurned her in what was a clearly unexpected way. If she knew about this in advance, then one would assume that she’d be clapping or still smiling to show her support, but she did not. On top of that, Lyanna was a child. She was only 14 when Rhaegar crowned her the queen of beauty, and I highly doubt that Elia was okay with any part of this situation.

Then, we get to the fact that any children Lyanna had would be a threat to Elia’s trueborn children, especially given the fact that there was still a large part of the population racist against the Dornish, and Lyanna is a Stark and has the blood of the first men running through her veins. That’s just another Blackfyre Rebellion waiting to happen. And that’s if Rhaegar doesn’t just outright skip over Elia’s children to name Lyanna’s children his heirs, because he loves her more. Sure, Elia may hope that doesn’t happen, but she doesn’t truly know for sure that it wouldn’t. And it would be a difficult political move, but we already know that Aerys was considering doing that with Rhaegar and Viserys, so it’s obviously possible.

I’ve seen some people claim that Elia would be okay with it because she couldn’t give Rhaegar any more children, but the thing is, Rhaegar didn’t need any more children. If Elia had given him 0 children, then I could see this argument more, but Elia gave him a son and a daughter. While Rhaegar may have wanted three heads to the dragon, I don’t think Elia would have found it important enough for him to take a mistress to have a third child.

Another argument I’ve seen is that Elia and Rhaegar were a political match and not in love, so it was okay for Rhaegar to run off with Lyanna, because he truly loved her. This is ridiculous. Most high-born marriages in Westeros are political matches. It doesn’t make it okay to abandon your wife and children to "follow your heart.” Especially since Elia doesn’t have the option to “follow her heart” and take another lover, because I seriously doubt that Rhaegar was generous enough to give her the option. Most men - especially those raised to believe they’re better than everyone else, as Rhaegar would have been with the Targaryen exceptionalism - would not be okay with their wife sleeping with another man, no matter how noble they are. And Elia definitely would not have had the option of having children by another man, because she could have been charged with treason for being unfaithful to the King. There’s a definite power imbalance in this situation.

Last, Rhaegar left Elia with his father (who he knows is deranged and losing touch with his sanity) with only Jaime - a young, new knight - to protect her. Even if you claim that Rhaegar had no idea how dangerous Aerys was, it was still ridiculous to leave his wife and two children alone with one young knight to defend them while Lyanna had three of the best knights in the realm guarding her.

None of this is to say that this is Lyanna’s fault, because again, she was a child. I simply see no way that Elia was okay with this.

Sorry for the long response, but thanks for the ask!

[trashbaggage]

okay okay okay

the movie “enchanted”, but witcher-fied (sorry this got away from me a bit)

there’s a stereotypical medieval fantasyland where jaskier julian alfred pankratz is the prince of lettenhovia. he’s got the looks, voice, and affinity for attracting woodland animals of a disney princess. also, the tragic backstory: his parents died in a freak accident when he was young. but don’t worry, his creepy “uncle” stregobor took upon himself the burden of ruling in their stead, until julian grew up and became ready for the throne.

(basically, stregobitch is like rasputin, and had tricked and slimed his way into the crown’s good graces before, surprise surprise, killing off the king and queen. he left julian alive to take some of the heat off of him with that extra distraction of grieving child. alas, poor little princeling that he can play the benevolent guardian to.)

and things are gr8 for good ol streggy, julian seems more inclined to sing and wander than become bogged down with the responsibility of becoming king. everything’s comin up stregs.

and then, of course, there’s a prophecy about how julian will be his doom or whatev and he needs to get on that shit STAT like he’s never heard of a self-fulfilling prophecy before (to be fair, fantasyland doesn’t have ancient greek tragedies to learn from so rip stregosaurus). but before he can implement his sophisticated plan of julian dying in an “accident”, our dear jules wanders too far and falls down a magic well into the Real World.

and he’s like, sweet, look at all this stuff! this is great and - oh hello, very attractive man with silken white hair and eyes as golden as the dawn light falling gently upon newly blossomed lillies and thighs that can crush his head and his heart, what up. and geralt is very confused and frustrated and oddly and begrudgingly charmed by this loudly dressed and loudly singing idiot accosting him outta nowhere, but his daughter ciri seems to like him so i guess we can keep him for a night but if he pees on the rug he’s out.

cue fun family bonding, musical numbers, shenanigans, all that jazz; julian, now jaskier cuz new world new him babey,, exploring and learning and having the time of his life and trying to get this broody man to open up and show that kindness his scowl can’t quite hide.

aaaaand cut back to streginald throwing a fit that the prince has cleverly evaded his dastardly plans, he has underestimated him it seems, and he can’t just let this massive loose thread keep flappin in the breeze, so he sends yennefer to deal with him.

now, yennefer is streggo my eggo’s daughter in this, and he’s raised her to be his right hand woman, his evil apprentice, the (much smarter) kronk to his yzma, and she’s been promised power once her dad fully claims the throne, so ofc she gets right on tracking that crafty twunk down to kill him. in the process, she comes across roach, julian’s horse and bff talking animal companion, by the magic well, gathering up the fucks to go after her wayward idiot. a struggle ensues, and yen and roach both go through the portal.

so now we got the side plot of these two trying to find jaskier, yen to kill him and roach to huff reproachfully at him for getting into this mess and if anyone is gonna kill him she will for dragging her across realms (she does not like portals, okay, they feel weird) not some uppity witch. so they got their tomfoolery of yen almost killing an unaware jaskier but then roach foiling her plans. she also tries to kidnap ciri as bait for a trap, but she can’t hurt this kid she’s too precious, ow ow ow, why does her chest feel weird?? she’s actually starting to find the boundaries to her thirst for power and it kinda sucks and feels nice at the same time??? 0/10 do not recommend

during this, geralt’s quiet life is being upended by this weird dude and he’s never danced so much in his life and his child is conspiring against him to set him up with this clearly deranged but very nice and pretty man but he’s not staying ciri we have to get him back to .....wherever tf he came from i don’t even like him, what are you talking about,,,

it all comes to a head at the costume ball, where geralt and jaskier are dancing and making eyes at each other until roach bursts in and tries to charades her way into warning her idiot to run motherfucker but she can’t talk in this realm so ugh and geralt horsegirl rivia is just like omg ur best friend is a horse that’s so fucking cool i love you even more.

and then yen bursts in; she’s kinda struggling to fulfill her mission, cuz she’s been watching jaskier and geralt and they just seem like two idiots that couldn’t possibly threaten anything, let alone her father’s power grab. she’s also made frenemies with roach, she’s the only motherfucker who can handle her in this city. so she just tries to scare jaskier into never returning, which works pretty well because she is v v scary, and then stregobonkers comes strolling in like wtf why is this taking you so long just kill him!! and yen is like i’ve kind of grown this pesky con- 🤢 consci- 🤢, wait, just, give me a min,,,, conscience!! yeah, that’s the bitch! anyway, stop telling me what to do dad and stregobego drops a bomb and goes i always knew you had a weakness to you, just like your parents!

and it’s just,,

silent.

what? what do you - my parents?

and it turns out he saw the power she held and wanted it under his control, so he killed her parents (it’s like, his signature move at this point) and groomed her to be his obedient little weapon. and, understandably, yen is pissed off and hurt and goes to lash out at him, but he just smirks and clicks his fingers while muttering under his breath, and everything stops for yen a second time as her mind blanks.

sneaky streg had put in a fail safe, in case she ever got out of line, and the amulet he gave her “for protection and focus, you must never take it off” lights up and puts her under his command and she turns into a sickass dragon that starts tearing up the dance floor, literally, in her rampage to kill jaskier.

geralt and jaskier go oh shit and dodge for their lives and things are looking pretty dire, but then jaskier looks at the suits of armor set up for decoration and goes wait a minute and grabs a sword to toss at geralt and just goes cover me boo and aim for that amulet and if you miss we’ll probably all die so no pressure!! and just sprints out and distracts angry dragon!yen and geralt goes goddamnit jaskier and sneaks around until he can jump at her and do a completely improbable matrix leap to stab at the amulet, and because this is a romcom and i get to choose my coping mechanisms, he makes it and yen is free from streg egghead’s power and she turns to him, still a dragon, and smiles wide with all them sharp sharp teeth and he goes ohhhh shiiiit and tries to run, but jaskier very helpfully trips him up and goes eat up my lady and dragon yen does, with great relish.

in conclusion, everyone lives happily ever after except streggles. geralt gets over his baggage and professes his love for jaskier, jaskier goes i’m not that easy geralt there needs to be wooing! i deserve to be wooed!! before heavily making out with him in the next five seconds. jaskier gives yen his blessing to become queen of lettenhovia, because he never really wanted the job anyway and she deserves it after what she’s been through. she still comes back every sunday for brunch and to teach ciri how to fight (she’s mine now, i’ve adopted her so she needs to learn the fine art of pointy things geralt) and geralt, jaskier, and ciri take holidays to fantasyland and roach is free to roam wherever she wants and becomes an advisor to yen.

the end

(extra dramatic addendum: geralt finally brings jask home to meet his family; vesemir opens the door and geralt goes this is my boyfriend, jas- but vesemir cuts him off with a choked out pRiNcE JuLiAn?! and it turns out vesemir is also actually from fantasyland. he worked for julian’s parents; the prevalence of monsters had been steadily rising, and so they had the idea to create witchers to combat them. kaer morhen was created under their sanction and vesemir was a teacher there, but he became disenfranchised with every boy that didn’t make it through the trials. when the keep was attacked by fanatics against witchers, he smuggled out eskel, lambert, coen, and geralt, and hid them away. he looked at these traumatized kids and went well that won’t do, followed up on some rumors of a new world, had a mage friend alter the boys’ memories, and skedaddled for our world. very shocking reveal, angsty angst-ness as geralt and the others deal with repressed memories and the fact that jaskier’s parents were responsible for it all, y’know, all that good stuff)

[dubmiho]

I saw someone tag fanart with Miho and Yugi as “best couple” and went ??? Huh? So in the spirit of YGO fandom shipping everyone with literally everyone, I took a crack at some different dynamics. I don’t actually see it for most of these but I tried to be convincing, just for a game: 

Miho x Yugi = Yugi I think actually has the closest personality to Miho’s canon crush, Ryou. He’s on the quieter side, a bit of an involuntary loner at the beginning, and loves games. His fashion isn’t quite Miho’s fashion, but I could see them doing each other’s eyeliner and finding they really enjoy each other’s company. Like, are they not just that picture of two girls in a bed with one girl sitting on the girl laying down so that she can do her makeup? Plus, we already know they like playing games together and she offered to kiss him if she lost again.

Miho x Yami Yugi: Miho’s thrill seeking turned up to 11; they’re both insane, determined to get what they want, and lack basic survival instincts yet always seem to luck out. This would be hilarious honestly. Mr. “I have no idea who I am” learning about the modern world from... Miho? Also, she actually slapped Jou for suggesting Ryou is a normally functioning human being and not an angel treading this Earth, so I imagine her teaming up with Mr. “I don’t know what a ‘proportionate response’ is and I don’t want to know,” and just going “You’re doing amazing, sweetie!”

Miho x Honda = I actually really didn’t like this pairing at all before because “local boy refuses any and all hints this girl just wants to be friends” hit some uuuuh past and present buttons relationship-wise but I’ve come around on it. I do think it could be a cute “boy finally gets the girl” situation and they’d have like, the classic fairytale marriage where he comes home from work ready to adore her and he’s her hero, too. 

Miho x Anzu = I’ve said this before but they balance each other out in interesting ways (ambition vs. relaxing; work-life balance etc.) and are, frankly, just super cute. 

Miho x Ryou = Self-recognition through the other. Femme power couple. I think Miho is interested in Ryou for pretty shallow reasons--he’s the prettiest boy at the party--but he’s such a little weirdo, and I think it’s funny to imagine Miho getting to know that side of him. She’s lowkey a thrill-seeker and finds the weirdest things cute, so I like to imagine him showing her his occult deck and her just going “Oooh, spooky! Ooh, cute! Oh, scary! Oooh, I love it!” They both really like playing games just for the sake of playing games, and personally, I think if Miho was struggling with a particular game, Ryou would just let her win sometimes to make sure they’re both having as much fun as possible.

Miho x Jou = Firstly, classic ‘Uptown Girl’ dynamic gets the twist that Jou’s the only other one that’s actually into high-end stuff (like the G-Shock watch, limited edition sneakers, etc.). Secondly, they would look Very Masculine Guy x Very Feminine Girl but are actually Bi x Bi; I have a lot of feelings about Jou shedding his toxic masculinity and like, you think she’s not immediately going to get him on a skincare routine? That he’s not going to let her paint his nails and go “Shut the hell up, my girl likes it”? Thirdly, they’re both willing to do dangerous things for their friends, get underestimated as stupid, and go all out with compliments to support their friends; and as we all know, I’m a sucker for “appear extremely different on the surface but have important common values/motivations.” I see them totally enabling supporting each other: getting hyped for new sneaker releases and like that scene where Jou tries to say “Okay Anzu, I guess I’ll get my fortune told since you dragged me here!” except Miho would just go ??? Haha okay, you silly boy! You’re a cutie! 

Miho x Seto: Gonna play hard mode and say yes, this is still Season 0 Seto. Miho has the right look and if Seto decided he wanted to date someone for appearances’ sake I could see him assuming she’s dumb and easy to manipulate, and being surprised how stubborn and willful she is. It’s almost a deranged Andy Warhol/Edith Sedgwick situation, but with a lot more money. 

[wildwcmen]

PINTEREST + PLAYLIST

basic information

Full Name: Carolina Reyes

Nickname(s): Lina (family nickname)

Age: 21-28

Date of Birth: July 5

Hometown: Miami, FL

Ethnicity: Latina (Colombian & Mexican)

Nationality: American

Gender: Cis Woman

Pronouns: She/Her

Religion: Catholic. Very bad at being Catholic, but tries her best. Will use the cheesy line “but I’m a good Catholic girl!” before immediately committing sins. Goes to church hungover.

Occupation: Unemployed brat, singer/dancer but rarely makes money from it

Language(s) Spoken: English, Spanish

Voice: Loud, excited, raspy. Occasionally very whiny.

physical appearance

Face Claim: Carolina Reyes

Hair Colour: Brunette

Eye Colour: Dark brown

Height: 5′0

Weight: 99 lbs

Build: Petite, curvy

Tattoos: Anchor tattoo on her elbow area

Piercings: Ears, belly button, clit

Clothing Style: Loves bright colors, always dressed for a rave or beach ready

Usual Expression: Smiling, laughing, pouting, glaring, very dependent on her moods

Distinguishing Characteristics: Short stature, full lips

health

Conditions: Undiagnosed mental health conditions

Sleeping Habits: Loves to sleep, will leave a party early just to nap.

Eating Habits: Eats often and frequently, usually home cooked meals that her dad and brother taught her when she was younger.

Exercise Habits: Running on the beach daily, hitting the gym whenever she can, swimming and surfing.

Emotional Stability: 4/10

Sociability: Very social! How else is she going to get attention?

Drug Use: Yes. Marijuana and mdma mostly.

Alcohol Use: Yes.

personality

Label: The Siren

Positive Traits: creative, poetic, emotional, fun loving

Negative Traits: overly emotional, jealous, posessive, annoying, whiny, spoiled

Fears: not getting attention, not making her mark

Hobbies: Surfing, swimming, singing, dancing, acting, clubbing, partying

favourites

Weather: Sunny days, hot weather, slight wind

Colour: Red, coral, orange

Music: Kali Uchis, Sza, Cuco, Girl In Red

Sport: Swimming, soccer

Beverage: bloody mary, vodka cranberry

Food: ceviche

Animal: sea turtles

family

Father: Oscar Reyes

Mother: Monica Fonseca

Sibling(s): Mateo Reyes

Children: N/A

Pet(s): N/A

extra

Zodiac Sign: Cancer sun, Cancer moon, Cancer rising

MBTI: ESFJ

Enneagram: The Individualist

Temperament: Melancholic/Choleric

Hogwarts House: Gryffindor

Moral Alignment: Chaotic Chaotic (this is not a typo)

Primary Vice: Envy/Lust

Primary Virtue: Charity

Element: Water

flaws

moody | short-tempered | emotionally unstable | whiny | controlling | conceited | possessive | paranoid | lies | impatient | cowardly | bitter | selfish | power-hungry | greedy | lazy | judgmental | forgetful | impulsive | spiteful | stubborn | sadistic | petty | unlucky | absent-minded | abusive | addict | aggressive | childish | callous | clingy | delusional | cocky | competitive | corrupt | cynical | cruel | depressed | deranged | egotistical | envious | insecure | insensitive | lustful | delinquent | guilt complex | reclusive | reckless | nervous | oversensitive | avoidant | restless.

strengths

honest | trustworthy | thoughtful | caring | brave | patient | selfless | ambitious | tolerant | lucky | intelligent | confident | focused | humble | generous | merciful | observant | wise | clever | charming | cheerful | optimistic | decisive | adaptive | calm | protective | proud | diligent | considerate | compassionate | good sportsmanship | friendly | empathetic | passionate | reliable | resourceful | sensible | sincere | witty | funny.

skills & hobbies

art | acting | astronomy | animals | archery | sports | beach combing | ballet | bird watching | blacksmithing | boating | calligraphy | camping | candle making | casino gambling | ceramics | racing | chess | music | cooking | crochet | weaving | exercise | swordplay | fishing | gardening | ghost hunting | ice skating | magic | engineering | building | inventing | leather-working | martial arts | meditation | origami | parkour | people watching | swimming | puppetry | pyrotechnics | quilting | reading | collecting | shopping | socializing | storytelling | writing | traveling.

human verse

Carolina has always been a spoiled baby. Her mother wasn't very active in her life, but her father did her best to make up for it when he wasn't working. Her older brother and father both spoiled her to pieces, doing anything that they could to make sure that Carolina felt loved and happy. This led to her being a bit of a spoiled brat even as she grew older. she's a talented singer and dancer, but with no drive and her family still spoiling her, she rarely gets anything done. she's jealous, clingy, and highly emotional.

supernatural verse (mermaid/siren)

Carolina’s father was a human man with a terrible habit of falling in love with mermaids. This left him raising Carolina and Mateo alone, with the family traveling often. Carolina was never in one place for too long, which gave her major attachment issues. Her father and brother spoiled her in an attempt to make up for her loneliness, but this was more to the detriment of her personality than anything else. 

[faerune]

"for fun" + vera?

What’s their room look like right now? I’m gunna go with Johnny and Vera’s room since everyone knows what V’s canon room looks like. It’s in the back of their trailer - tons of pillows and soft sheets and at least two blankets - big and also very soft. Their bed is never made. Ash tray on Vera’s bedside table with a half-empty pack of smokes and some bubblegum. Pistol in the drawer with a [redacted]. Johnny’s side table has got a couple stray notebooks and pencils to scribble with. Probably a guitar pick lost in the crevices of the bed. Maybe a book or two.

What are they like as a friend? Loyal! Vera is incredibly loyal and supportive with her friends. She’d do anything for them - especially during the game where she’s like well fuck I’m going to die anyway I might as well make someone happy. She’s an extrovert so she just...thrives off of being around the people she loves. Vera has to have a community or she gets heartachingly lonely.

What are they like as a partner? Teasing, affectionate and h*rny. She’s clingy and jealous and loves being around them. While she’s interested in them at least. Her affections are very...flighty in most relationships. She’s just bad at them. Doesn’t share her feelings very well, blows off dates and texts and calls, and also is attracted to uh...not great people lmao. But still, she’s loyal just like she is with her friends and would do anything for her partner. Vera just tends to throw herself all in and then almost...wear herself out esp if someone else doesn’t do the same. Queen of Honeymoon Phase and then bailing lmao.

Vera also doesn’t know how to flirt/do affection if it’s not teasing and roasting someone.

Do they have any phobias? Clowns! Almost shit herself during Send in the Clowns. 0/10. 

Did/do they go anywhere special for vacations? sgkjsdkgj no. Vera’s never been on a vacation besides moving to Atlanta for a couple years after her mom died.

Your character walks into a cafe. What do they order? Something awfully sugary that will rot your teeth! Vera is a fiend for sugar. Black coffee who? We don’t know her.

What time do they go to bed, usually? Suuuper late. 3am or 4am?

What’s their morning routine like? Morning sex, shower, breakfast, dressed + make up + hair, meet with Panam to see what needs to be done today (Vera kind of settles into a number to/hand of Panam position, just wants to carry her weight).

What’s the dumbest thing your character’s done? Dating her brain parasite. Storm Arasaka and rob them...twice. Let a god-like AI have access to one of the most powerful corporation’s mainframe. Just....so many bad decisions.

What pokemon would your character be Fire/fairy!!!

What’s their pokemon team? Try to pick all 6. All I know is she would definitely have a little Torchick! Also a Snubbul.

Theme song (and a playlist if you’ve got it!) Unfortunately, Gasoline by Halsey kind of fucks when applied to Vera. 

Are you deranged like me? Are you strange like me? Lighting matches just to swallow up the flame like me? Do you call yourself a fucking hurricane like me?

You can't wake up, this is not a dream You're part of a machine, you are not a human being With your face all made up, living on a screen Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline"

Also, I definitely do have a playlist for her but I’m ashamed of how goofy it is so it stays private (for now). 

If this character was in a musical, what would their motif be (what kind of instruments do you hear, what’s the tempo, ect). Oh boy, I’m so uneducated about music but I’d say something really light and fast - piano and violin that also takes a moment to slow down and get a bit darker and more sad.

[border-spam]

Took a bit of time and some morning coffee and wrote up my feelings on why I’m feeling so let down by the twins.

Copied from my Reddit: Just finished the game and am still reeling at how poorly the last few hours went story wise. There is a clear disconnect between how the twins were built up as the game progressed though echo logs, direct communications with them etc, and how things actually went down as the story began to wrap up, which is why things feel so rushed and not satisfying. Troy was the key to this game having a fantastic ending, and he was thrown away out of the blue despite all the twin's character development being on him solely.

While Tyreen suffered a lot of the same issues, my god.. they really.. really.. screwed up how they handled Troy, and they needed these villains to go down perfectly to be able to be on the same level as Jack. They came so close, it was incredibly frustrating to see them throw it all away.

As the story ramps up, cutscenes and echo communications very purposefully begin to show you the relationship between the twins isn't that stable. Tyreen has a clear disgust for keeping her brother alive, and Troy is far quieter, and willing to defer to her opinions. Once he absorbs Maya's powers, things take a noticeable shift. He's more confident, more ready to disagree with her, his cutscene in Jacob's alluded to him having his own goals not related to hers. His echo messages started dropping tidbits like how he always thought he was just a freak, and how good it feels to have power now.

Everything was building to "This dude is going to turn on Tyreen and end up taking her powers if she doesn't start treating him with more respect", and by the time you reach the cathedral we are right at the peak of this foreshadowing, with the twins aggressively mouthing off to each other and Troy ready to snap while channeling energy to Elpis.

When Tyreen started screaming "STOP, YOU'RE GONNA KILL ME!!" lines during his fight, I don't know anyone who didn't immediately think this was it, it was the plot turn point and shit was about to get amazing, and then he dies.

He just dies, the end. All that foreshadowing and threat, all that character development that Tyreen got none of, and hes's gone, and we are meant to see Tyreen as the threat again despite her having absolutely 0 development or growth across the whole game? She didn't even react to his death, there was no depth to the entire scene, it was rushed and painful to watch.

So what the fuck actually happened? Did the writers just change at that point? Did GB run out of time and threw together a fight with him despite it not matching ANY of the huge amount of foreshadowing they had spent so long working into the game already?

I could have written a better ending in 5 minutes, most of us could have. What I would have expected was:

Him to continue to leech from her during the fight, accidentally kill her because he got too cocky with his new powers, then had a breakdown when he recovered and tried to wake her up to let her know they had done it. The final fight being a deranged "God King Troy" who had continued on with his sister's plan solely out of guilt and spent the fight screaming her name and looking for her would have been fantastic and in line with the "Seeking power only leads to pain, family is the true strength" over laying plot of the game.

Points off the top of my head written into this character and then completely trashed with this fight ending:

What were his goals, he said he wasn't a follower and seemed to be humoring Tyreen most of the game.

The fuck was up with his face? Jaw hinges? We'll never know. Why are they there?

What happened to his arm, it was such an important visual feature and was never confirmed as being part of them being conjoined.

Was his main aim to break free of his parasitical relationship with her and be healthy?

What's the extremely high tech spinal and skull implant he has that's unrelated to his arm's tech

Why does he have actual tatoos under his siren tatooos if Tyreen had her powers since being a child

What were his base siren powers, did he have any bar the one he found out about midgame

What were the glowing crystals he carried that matched his tatoos and sword

Where the fuck did the sword come from, it just appears out of the blue in his fight with no pre context.

He was the only male siren in known history, this was a massive deal and wasn't even touched on once

TLDR, Troy was laid out as key to the entire plot arc and received all the character development for the twins. He was thrown away with no followup after the whole game foreshadowed his rise to power. Shitty writing that affected most of the characters in one way or another, but completely crippled the twins from being as great as they could have been.

[commandertheory]

Throne of Eldraine Commander Set Review

For each new set, I write an article discussing the new legendary creatures and the nonlegendary cards that I think will be relevant in Commander.

The Commanders of Throne of Eldraine

He’s a more interesting political commander than most existing options because he has so many tools to work with. Notably, the last ability goes infinite with a Composite Golem and any one of the following effects:

Something that triggers when an artifact or creature enters the battlefield

Something that triggers when an artifact or creature is put into the graveyard

Something that reduces the cost of activated abilities

Sample decklist: Kenrith, the Returned King

In terms of tech, there’s Well of Lost Dreams, Dawn of Hope, Angelic Accord, and Resplendent Angel. But that’s about it, and if you don’t draw those four cards, you’re left with a commander that gives you a small boost in the least important resource in a color that can’t use that resource for anything.

While it’s not great as a commander, it’s probably good in the maindeck of Karlov decks.

This seems quite bad. In contrast, Pianna, Nomad Captain does basically the same thing for two mana cheaper.

This is a very neat self-mill combo commander. The absolute best pieces of tech for the deck are Mirran Spy and Chakram Retriever, which allow you to cast as many artifacts as you have the mana for. If your deck is full of 0-mana artifacts and cards like Sol Ring and Mana Crypt that net mana when you cast them, you can really combo off with Emry.

Some of the more notable combos:

0-mana artifact creature + Thornbite Staff/Intruder Alarm/Mirran Spy + Grinding Station/Ashnod’s Altar/Phyrexian Altar/Krark-Clan Ironworks/Blasting Station

Basalt Monolith + Mesmeric Orb

Basalt Monolith + Rings of Brighthearth

Mirran Spy/Chakram Retriever + Lotus Petal/Lion’s Eye Diamond

Emry + Mindslaver

Walking Ballista is your outlet for infinite mana, generally.

The rest of the deck is mostly tutors and self-mill cards to help you assemble your combos and counterspells to help you protect it.

Sample decklist: Emry, Lurker of the Loch

He’s a better outlet for infinite mana than Ambassador Laquatus and he synergizes extremely well with Verity Circle. Unfortunately, I’m not seeing great uses for those guy aside from those two possibilities. Not being able to tap your own stuff means you can’t abuse Winter Orb/Static Orb (or even fun/fair stuff like the untap symbol or inspired) and having such a restrictive color identity prevents you from doing cool stuff like running Urborg, Tomb of Yawgmoth and Spreading Algae.

High Tide and blue’s untap spells (e.g., Frantic Search, Time Spiral) are also good non-infinite ways to generate tons of mana for your commander.

I am not super stoked about this card. While it could potentially have 7 or more power, that’s not an insane rate for 5 mana and it’s lacking the evasion, haste, and effective protection against removal needed to make it a good Voltron commander.

Thornbite Staff turns this into an unrestricted card draw engine, and she combos with Phyrexian Altar + Gravecrawler + any zombie to cause infinite life loss for your opponents.

Not only does it provide a discard outlet for the 8ish decent madness cards in monoblack, but you can usually get a free discard by dumping Bloodghast, Reassembling Skeleton, Gutterbones, Bloodsoaked Champion, etc. before you start recurring them to pay for the sacrifice ability.

It’s also worth noting that there are some fantastic death triggers in monoblack; Mindslicer and Corpse Augur are some standouts.

Shared Trauma, Dread Summons, and Mesmeric Orb are good ways to mill your opponents in monoblack, and Heartstone will greatly increase the efficiency of his activated ability. You can also try farming the ability with powerful discard effects like Mindslicer, Capital Punishment, Cabal Conditioning, and Myojin of Night’s Reach, and Black’s efficient removal will also help you get triggers.

I’ve also seen takes on this deck that combine the activated ability with Lantern of Insight to set up a soft lock where you prevent your opponents from drawing anything relevant.

With Syr Carah, the name of the game is cheap spells that hit multiple opponents. Fortunately, Red has a ton of these that are relatively cheap and so Carah makes it so you can draw a ton of cards for relatively little mana (spending 2 to draw 4 is a pretty common occurrence). If some of those cards net mana (e.g., rituals, moxes), then you can keep the combo going.

Sample decklist: Syr Carah, the Bold

Aside from boosting your creatures’ damage output, he also combines extremely well with Group Slug effects like Manabarbs and Spellshock; in fact, he’s probably the best Group Slug commander of all time.

Sample decklist:  Torbran, Thane of Red Fell

Bubble Matrix and Fog effects make it so that your creatures can’t take damage in combat but they can still dish it out.

You can also run Viridian Longbow and Thornbite Staff to make use of this guy’s deathtouch. Other than that, there’s not a whole lot of direction to build around this guy; bog standard Voltron package, I guess.

I wish this card had more power. +2/+2 is nothing and while I can think of creatures that could use a buff effectively (Infect creatures), I feel like I need to buff Syr Faren in order to buff them more. If that’s the case, why am I even using Syr Faren? Why not just buff the creatures directly and cut out the middleman?

You can get a bunch of counters with cards like Deranged Hermit, Deep Forest Hermit, etc, but 5 mana for 5 power isn’t even that great compared to some of the better auras and equipment.

Also, give that Yorvo’s reward is making himself bigger, the only way to build around him is Voltron; which he’s not well suited for. His base stats are a 4/4 for 3, which isn’t insane, and he doesn’t have haste, evasion, or resistance to removal.

Although I don’t like him as a commander, he could be good in the maindeck of Ghave decks.

This guy combos really well with sac outlets and creatures with persist, offering you infinite of whatever your sac outlet generates. Unfortunately, there’s only about 6 unrestricted sac outlets and 6 persist creatures in these colors, which is far from enough stuff to fill out a deck, so there’s a lot of room for token generators, proliferate effects, interaction, and a generally more straightforward aggressive game plan.

Sample decklist: Grumgully, the Generous

I tried building Alela a few ways before I settled on a build I liked. Initially, I tried running a bunch of cheap (3 CMC or less) anthem effects, because they were essentially “lords” when they came with a 2/1 Faerie attached. The issue with this build was that there wasn’t much card flow, and although I often ended up with a huge scary board, I didn’t have many cards in hand and I was very vulnerable to board wipes.

The second build I tried used a ton of 2-cost artifacts and enchantments that drew a card when they entered the battlefield; essentially, my deck was full of flying Silvergill Adepts. This has been working pretty well, as I can commit a bunch of dudes to the board while maintaining a respectable hand so I can rebuild if something goes wrong.

In addition to my card-drawing eggs and Auras, I’m also running the most efficient anthem effects in these colors, such as Favorable Winds, Shared Triumph, Intangible Virtue, and Konda’s Banner.

Combat damage triggers are pretty good when you have a bunch of flyers, so I’m running Coastal Piracy, Bident of Thassa, Larceny, and Kindred Discovery.

There are a few sac outlets that are powerful enough to justify diverting a few Faeries away from the beatdown, such as Attrition, Mind Slash, and Skullclamp.

Sample decklist: Alela, Artful Provocateur

This guy is a powerful combo commander centered around chaining cheap creatures together. He has very strong synergy with effects that subsidize or eliminate the cost of cheap creatures, such as Earthcraft, Aluren, and Tangleroot and he loves self-bouncing creatures like Shrieking Drake.

Sample decklist: Chulane, Teller of Tales

Works well with fetchlands, so a good Korvold build will likely have a solid land package. That being said, the heart of this deck is creature sacrifice, and this color identity has some great sac fodder in the form of token generation and self-recurring creatures, as well as some of the best sac outlets in the format. He also works well with creatures that really, really want to die, like Protean Hulk, Mindslicer, Seedguide Ash, and World Shaper.

Sample decklist: Korvold, Fae-Cursed King

I think Syr Gwyn is worth comparing to Kestia, the Cultivator. Both of them reward you when you attack with a narrow subset of cards. The main differences are that Kestia is significantly cheaper, is in a better color identity, and the things that trigger Kestia only require the commitment of a single card, whereas Syr Gwyn (generally) needs you to commit both a creature card and an equipment card to assemble a card-generating unit.

There are some exceptions to this rule: Living Weapon equipment come with a creature attached, as do the two equipment from M20 with a similar ability. Bloodforged Battle-Axe copies itself so you don’t have to commit as many real equipment to the board.

While there are a few low-casting cost high-equip cost cards like Colossus Hammer and Blackblade Reforged that really reward you for committing to Knights, most of the best equipment costs 1-2 mana to equip. I’m not sure saving 1-2 mana is worth committing to the Knight creature type.

Instead, I’d probably run the cheap doublestrikers in these colors (many of which are, admittedly, Knights) and a bunch of cards that synergize with equipment (not just Stoneforge and Puresteel; I think I’d also run Kor Duelist). In general, I want the deck to function without Syn Gwyn on the battlefield, since she costs a bunch of mana and isn’t very resilient to spot removal. Slapping a Mask of Memory on a Fencing Ace seems like a solid plan A in case Gwyn can’t get it together.

Sample decklist: Syr Gwyn

The Maindeck Cards of Throne of Eldraine

In this set review, I’ll be using two five-point rating scales to evaluate the nonlegendary cards, one that measures how many decks a card is playable in (we’ll call that “spread”), and one that measures how powerful it is in those decks (”power”). Here’s a brief rundown of what each rank on the two scales means:

Spread

1: This card is effective in one or two decks, but no more (ex: The Gitrog Monster).

2: This card is effective in one deck archetype (ex: self-mill decks).

3: A lot of decks will be able to use this card effectively (ex: decks with graveyard interactions).

4: This card is effective in most decks in this color.

5: Every deck in this color is able to use this card effectively.

Power

1: This card is always going to be on the chopping block.

2: This card is unlikely to consistently perform well.

3: This card provides good utility but is not a powerhouse.

4: This card is good enough to push you ahead of your opponents.

5: This card has a huge impact on the game.

Spread: 2 Power: 2

The -3 will never be bad, but spending six mana for this effect is not great. His 0 ability does synergize with sacrifice decks like Mazirek and Savra, but I’m still not sure he’s worth the price of entry in those lists.

Spread: 5 Power: 3

Shutting down someone’s commander is a big game, and the potential to activate him multiple turns in a row makes this a very big threat for just three mana.

Spread: 1 Power: 1

1st ability is weak, 2nd is a blank, ult will never happen and won’t even win you the game if it does. Don’t play this card.

Spread: 1 Power: 2

Given that it only works in a deck with a critical mass of Knights, I think this guy is relegated to Aryel and Syr Gwyn. It’s def good in those lists, though.

Spread: 1 Power: 2

This costs one more mana to activate than I was hoping it would, but the opportunity cost to run it is basically nil, so I guess I can’t complain much. I think this is the narrowest of the five, though.

Notably, out of 23 cards in Magic that produce Human tokens, 9 are legal in Throne of Eldraine standard. This seems like too many to be a coincidence so this could mean that Human is now going to be the default white token type or we’ve got Human tribal coming up in the near future.

Spread: 1 Power: 2

I’m not a huge fan of cards that require you to jump through multiple hoops, as they pull a deck in two different directions. In this case, there’s not a big overlap between the decks running lots of legendaries and the decks running lots of Knights. There are about 10 playable Knight legends that you can stuff into a Syr Gwyn deck, but that’s barely a critical mass so I don’t see you consistently getting many Knight tokens off of this. Decks like Kethis and Sisay can trigger this way more frequently, but they probably don’t care about the reward; it’s not like they were running Primeval Bounty.

Spread: 1 Power: 3

Incredibly meta-dependent.

This is a super-powerful hoser for storm-y decks. The main problem with a silver bullet like this is that White doesn’t have many great ways to dig it out of your 100-card deck; you’ll need additional colors to help you find it. Like, side from Enlightened Tutor and Idyllic Tutor, how are you finding this early enough for it to save you?

Spread: 1 Power: 2

The removal spell will find targets in an average game of Commander, but they’re not always going to be the most important creatures. If we ever got human tribal, I’d consider running this as a value dude similar to Big Game Hunter. Or Peasant Tribal, I guess.

Spread: 1 Power: 1

This is never going to trigger and the ETB gives away 3 cards and 15 life. Don’t run it!

Spread: 1 Power: 2

Kicks ass in Oros, the Avenger.

Spread: 2 Power: 2

It’s better than Tocatli Honor Guard in White hatebear lists, but it’s very meta-dependent. I think Green decks are going to be hit harder by the Torpor Orb effect and Black decks will be hit harder by the death trigger prevention.

Spread: 2 Power: 3

If you’re running a deck with Black in its color identity and you could easily recur the creature half of this card, I’d seriously consider running this card, even if it’s one more mana relative to Wrath of God and Damnation; the potential for recursion is seriously that powerful.

And of course it’s really really good if your commander is a White Giant.

Spread: 1 Power: 2

It’s unfortunate that there are no white commanders that grant haste (well, I guess there’s Odric), as Commander does not take too kindly to 6 mana cards that have to wait a round of turns to start generating value. However, as we noted when Aryel was released, there was an embarrassing shortage of playable Knight token generators, so this may see play in Knight tribal decks.

Spread: 2 Power: 2

This type of card (land with expensive activated ability) is arguably better in Blue decks since you can hold counters up and activate it if your opponents don’t cast anything worth answering. As with all the other Castles, the opportunity cost to run this is extremely low in 1- and 2-color decks.

Spread: 0 Power:0

Wish effects currently don’t work under the official Commander rules; hence the ratings for this card.

However, it’s worth noting that Wizards has printed a wish effect in each of the last three Standard sets. These types of designs are clearly going to be a part of Magic going forward, and it doesn’t make sense that Commander’s rules don’t align with modern Magic design. You’ve probably heard me advocating for a rules change before, but I want to do more than theorycraft; I want some experience.

So, I’m planning on testing wishboards over the next few months to see what the pros/cons are and whether a rules change would be feasible or whether it would break the game. Now, I want to make a distinction: The wishboard will be used solely as a place for cards that I’ll search out with cards like Fae of Wishes; I’m not going to be testing a sideboard and I will not be switching cards between my sideboard and maindeck between games. I didn’t really want to test that because I think it will slow down games and sideboarding doesn’t matter that much unless your deck is really good at tutoring; a silver bullet sideboard card with no redundant effects is only 1% of your deck.

Expect a report back sometime at the beginning of 2020.

Spread: 4 Power: 2

I don’t think it’s particularly difficult to hit the cost reduction over the course of a multiplayer game, but it’ll be tricky to pull off early and there are lots of alternatives that have no such timing restrictions.

Spread: 2 Power: 2

I’m really underwhelmed by this card. This is uncastable unless you’re running a spellslinger deck, and if that’s the case you can probably win by spell combo looong before this accrues enough knowledge counters to be good. Also, spellslinger decks can refill their hands instantly with a single card that actually synergizes with their deck’s strategy of casting instants/sorceries, such as Windfall, Time Reversal, Reforge the Soul, etc, etc. How much effort and how many turns will it take for Magic Mirror to draw you as many cards as a Windfall? How many opponents have to choose not to Vandalblast or Krosan Grip or Return to Dust the Mirror over that time period?

Spread: 3 Power: 2

Great card! It’s not hard to build a deck with plenty of mana rocks and utility enchantments that are good in multiples, and your opponents are likely to have some good targets, as well.

Spread: 2 Power: 3

If you’re in monoblue, and your commander can bounce lands, and you’ve got a critical mass of extra turn effects, this thing generates infinite turns.

That may sound unlikely, but there are a surprising number of monoblue commanders that can bounce lands; Uyo, Silent Prophet, Meloku, and Kefnet the Mindful all combo off with this thing, and there are 5 extra turn effects that don’t exile or shuffle that you can slot into this combo (6 if you’ve got Rogues).

Spread: 2 Power: 3

Very good with commanders with “cast X, get token” abilities, like Sai, Master Thopterist, Alela, Artful Provocateur, Kykar, and Talrand. Many of those commanders build around cards of the chosen type that cantrip, so you can use this ability to loot away lands and chain relevant cards into each other and continually trigger your commander.

Also, it goes infinite with the Locust God.

Spread: 2 Power: 2

This seems good in less-competitive Urza and Jhoira 2.0 decks as a means to get more gas off your Darksteel Relics and such. The good builds don’t have time for a 6-mana dragon, though.

Spread: 1 Power: 2

With the introduction of Syr Gwyn, there are now two Knight tribal decks in Commander. Run it in those decks and nowhere else.

Spread: 4 Power: 2

Life is, of course, worthless, but I’d still be wary of activating this when I had more than two cards in hand.

Spread: 1 Power: 4

Incredible combo piece in Grenzo, Dungeon Warden decks. All you need is a sac outlet and you can start juggling creatures between the library, graveyard, and battlefield, farming ETB and death triggers.

It also seems good in self-mill decks that can easily drop its cost down to two, but the bottom-of-library drawback is much more significant in those lists.

Spread: 2 Power: 3

This will often create 4 bodies for four mana, which is a great ratio. Black has a ton of sac outlet commanders that will be happy to run this card, including Torgaar, Whisper, Bontu, and Yawgmoth. Marrow-Gnawer lists may also be interested, as it’s one of the few Rat token generators that can make many at once.

Spread: 3 Power: 2

Hero’s Downfall sees play in almost 15,000 decks on EDHREC. While this card has some weird drawbacks (exiles itself, then buries itself on the bottom of your library), there are a lot of powerful things you can do with it because it’s stapled to a creature, like recurring it with a Phyrexian Reclamation or Volrath’s Stronghold in response to the death trigger. It works even better if you have access to Blue’s bounce engines.

I know it seems a little goofy compared to a Ravenous Chupacabra, but the instant speed on Swift End should not be underestimated, as there are a ton of situations where you need to interrupt something to keep from dying.

Spread: 1 Power: 2

Upping your Rat count and snatching commanders seems solid in Marrow-Gnawer lists.

Spread: 3 Power: 3

If you’re running a combo deck, the drawback is basically negligible, since your deck can probably kill your opponent before they can use it.

Thanks to @ceta-maelstrom for pointing out that this works pretty well in Aminatou, since she can blink it back under your control.

Spread: 3 Power: 2

Probably the best in the cycle. It’s useful in the many, many red token decks and the rate on the activation is not bad.

Spread: 1 Power: 2

There aren’t a whole lot of Red decks capable of going wide that are interested in double strike for their commanders; most decks don’t go both wide and tall. Maybe Wasitora or Gishath can use this effectively?

Spread: 1 Power: 2

The Crush effect will never be irrelevant in Commander, so this is a solid card for Syr Gwyn decks that lean into Knight tribal. I probably wouldn’t run it in other decks, however, as Red has better artifact destruction than this.

Spread: 1 Power: 2

This guy is too inefficient for me to be excited to run him in most go-wide decks, but tribal lists always have a lower barrier to entry because their creature type is so valuable. In Syr Gwyn tribal Knights, I’d give this anthem effect a shot.

Spread: 1 Power: 1

This effect just seems too hard to break to be worth running. Let me know if you figure out a deck in which it’ll be good.

Spread: 2 Power: 2

This is a generally useful reward for something few decks can pull off. It’s tricky to find commanders that can reliably trigger this a bunch without straight winning the game in the process (i.e., Jhoira Weatherlight Captain, Anje Falkenrath). I think Arjun, Jori En, and Korvold could be good fits for this card.

Spread: 2 Power: 2

In order for this to be good, your commander has to be able to trigger this and make use of the reward. Lyzolda can do this by sacrificing the Rats to draw cards, potentially triggering Mad Ratter again if you activate her on your opponents’ turns.

Korvold behaves similarly, as you can feed him two Rats to draw two cards and trigger the Ratter again.

Finally, the Scorpion God can eat the Rats for cards, thereby creating more Rats.

Spread: 4 Power: 3

Sure, it’s got a drawback, but it offers a relatively unconditional instant-speed kill spell in a color that has far from a critical mass of them. This is one of the best Red spot removal spells, beaten out only by Chaos Warp, Lightning Bolt, and Abrade. This kills 14/21 of the most popular commanders on EDHREC and the vast majority of the most popular creatures.

Spread: 2 Power: 1

Casting exiled cards on later turns is a big benefit, but Robin Hood still has a ton of drawbacks relative to Grenzo, Havoc Raiser.

Spread: 3 Power: 2

I run Tormenting Voice in a LOT of monored decks, and this is strictly better. Excited to see Red getting more and better variants of this effect.

Spread: 3 Power: 2

Heavy Green decks tend to be creature-focused, so the restriction isn’t that significant. It feels a lot better if you think of this card as a Temple of the False God that can still tap for mana when you have fewer than five lands.

Spread: 1 Power: 1

I can’t see where this fits into the format; even Derevi birds would want this to have at least one power. Let me know if you think of a deck that can use this card!

Spread: 3 Power: 3

This is pretty comparable to Guardian Project or Beast Whisperer if you can reliably get a 3+ power creature on the field (perhaps from your command zone?), as the ability to tap for two means this effectively costs 2 less than whatever the reduced price ends up being.

Spread: 1 Power: 2

It took me a minute to notice the “one or more” clause, after which my interest in this card plummeted. However, it is a Cat that draws you a card every turn, so Arahbo with gladly welcome him into the pride.

Spread: 4 Power: 3

It doesn’t hose commanders as hard as Darksteel Mutation, Song of the Dryads, or Imprisoned in the Moon, but the cantrip more than makes up for it.

Spread: 3 Power: 3

Big fan of these effects, and I don’t think the non-Human restriction is very relevant.

Spread: 1 Power: 2

The existence of Bane of Progress (and the dozen tutors to find it) in Green makes this card a lot less appealing. However, the Hydra type makes it a great utility creature for Gargos decks.

Spread: 3 Power: 3

Anyone who’s played Gruul Ragebeast can tell you that this is pretty powerful creature control; if this goes unanswered, you’re going to eat all of your opponents’ threats. I would happily run this in monogreen decks looking for ways to remove multiple creatures, especially if my meta was light on spot removal.

Spread: 1 Power: 1

Never before have I seen an Impulse that was this hard to cast. Bird decks don’t run enough artifacts/enchantments to make this reliably hit, but if there was ever a commander in these colors that rewarded you for playing artifact creatures, I’d consider running this guy.

Spread: 2 Power: 3

This looks like a one-sided Open the Vaults to me, and there are lots of commanders that will be happy to run this, including Hanna, Breya, Tuvasa, and Kestia. I think this card was intentionally designed so that you can easily avoid animating your stuff if you don’t want to, as making your hard-to-remove artifacts and enchantments vulnerable to creature removal is not ideal (as anyone who’s played with Opalescence or Starfield of Nyx can attest).

Spread: 2 Power: 3

This is pretty close to drawing five cards for five mana, provided your curve isn’t too high. I think I’d run this in Gruul or Naya decks with a low curve.

Spread: 3 Power: 2

Fyndhorn Elder and Greenweaver Druid are not good cards, but Llanowar Tribe and Somberwald Sage are. If you’re running 3+ colors, I would happily run this card, as 7 mana on turn 4 is no joke and can really launch you past your opponents.

Spread: 1 Power: 2

Its color identity precludes it from being used in Aryel, so Syr Gwyn is the only home for this card.

Spread: 1 Power: 2

I like this effect way more than a typical anthem, since it scales to multiple opponents. I’d run this in tribal Knights, but don’t get your hopes up about firing off that activated ability when none of the Knight decks are in ramp colors.

Spread: 3 Power: 2

This is one of the best 2-drop mana rocks, but not every deck needs those. Best when used with non-Green 4-CMC commanders.

Spread: 1 Power: 3

This is quite good in Arcades, the Strategist. The rate isn’t terrible and granting all of your creatures haste is very powerful in a deck that can vomit out five 4-toughness defenders in a turn.

Spread: 2 Power: 1

There are a couple lists that are very excited for new Eggs (cheap artifacts that draw cards and sacrifice themselves), such as Gerrard 2.0, Teshar, and some Breya builds.

Spread: 3 Power: 3

I generally do not like anthem effects that only buff for a single point of power, especially when they cost three mana. I also generally do not like mana rocks that cost three and only produce a single mana. However, the combination of these two effects is kind of attractive. Tapping for mana means your anthem essentially only costs two mana, and producing a mana every turn thereafter is a significant bonus. I really like this in Alela since it also triggers her token production ability, but I’d consider testing it in other go-wide token decks as well.

Spread: 1 Power: 2

It’s a 2 CMC scarecrow, which means Reaper King is interested.

Spread: 2 Power: 2

This seems like a solid draw engine for monowhite decks, and maybe monored and red/white decks. As long as you have a commander that doesn’t mind attacking, this’ll probably act as an Underworld Connections.

Spread: 4 Power: 2

Even monocolor decks now have a ton of options for fetches; we’re at the threshold of a critical mass of fetches so you can more consistently assemble an engine with Crucible of Worlds. I’d run this in 3-color decks, 2-color decks, and monocolor decks with Crucible and Scroll Rack. 

Wrapping Up

Please let me know if you think I missed any relevant cards or if you disagree with any of my ratings. Thanks for reading!

[angelicyearnings]

Approach to a timeline

• 1st cycle

Anthrazit And Zavaan are formed. Zavaan questions the necessity of Death and after creating a plane without death (later known as The First World) is cast down from the heavens.

The rider of Death catches him before he reaches the depths of hell and makes him his host in a sweet twist of irony. Death utilizes his anger to fuel an attempt of genocide onto the angels.

Anthrazit was instructed to put an end to Zavaan's massacre and fell into the thralls of War. Thanks to her powers granted to him after he became a host he was able to put a stop to Zavaan, making him a prisoner of war so to speak.

•2nd-4th cycle

Zavaan escapes from war and steals her sword.

Zavaan tries to work against the riders.

Anthrazit ist freed from the thralls of war.

•5-9th cycle

Anthrazit joins in operating against the riders however the two aren't aware of each other yet

•10th cycle

Zavaan and Anthrazit meet formally for the first time. Anthrazit shows no signs of ever having met/known Zavaan. The now-Demon however, cannot forget.

They kick it off well though and together they infiltrate a cult they suspect is the key to a famine-centric apocalypse.

They are fully correct. Morgain, the power-hungry, charismatic leader of the cult has been a close-to-lifetime host of Famine.

Anthrazit falls to the love-bombing of the cult while Zavaan manages to stay wary, however after fully having 'lost' the angel to the cult Zavaan escapes before he would also be fully caught in it.

He is stopped by Famine's vessel, who plants enough insecurities in him about Anthrazit that Zavaan becomes a straight-up hermit for over a thousand years. But at least Zav stabs Famine real good delaying the end for about- a week?

With Zavaan out of the picture Anthrazit is prepped to become Morgain's confidant and stays near his side up until the beginning of the End.

The apocalypse rings in with the death of Morgain's wife Lucia and son Laszlo. (Which he willingly sacrificed to Famine bit Morgain has 0 brain cells like that) driven completely deranged he orders the ritualistic suicide of all members of the cult which dominoes into more apocalypse.

Anthrazit regaining Morgain's lost brain cells sees again that "Wait, This Is Bad™" and after refusing to kill himself and Almost being burnt alive by Morgain he manages to escape and is on the search for Zavaan

After weeks of walking, he finally finds the demon and collapses on the doorstep of his hermit hut.

Zavaan nurtures him back to health and everything but right before Anthrazit wakes up again he leaves without a trace

Morgain is saved by Famine from the apocalypse to be preserved and used later

The world ends.

•11-19th cycle

Zavaan keeps his distance from Anthrazit mainly. Even when it comes to taking Riders on directly.

•20th cycle

Famine first attempt at an apocalypse using Laszlo, the artificially created reincarnation of Morgain's son, who will be fuelled by Morgain's advanced magic so that one day he will kick start the apocalypse by causing a Famine of magic which will disturb balance enough to end the world

•21th-29th cycle

Anthrazit and Zavaan slowly grow closer again but the demon still keeps his distance and often vanishes completely after a day or so of spending time together

•30th cycle

Anthrazit and Zavaan know of Famine's plans to an apocalypse using Laszlo, so they try to find the vessel before Famine can get to it. And they manage to.

Laszlo is being raised by Anthrazit And Zavaan, instructed on how to fight and use his magic for good and the rest of the woke!Laszlo timeline happens. Long story short; despite the Angel & demon's best efforts they can't keep Laszlo sheltered forever and even though he doesn't want to be used for the apocalypse by Famine he still ends up killing his fated love, Flubius and instead of dieing himself he's cursed to roam between the planes of the other riders, forever longing to hold his love in his arms again

Djinn and Fabi ascend and from now on also low-key fight against the riders

•31st-99th cycle

Yearning and Angst. Nothing else happened. These two are trying to save the world but they can't even talk about their feelings before the riders are rolling up like "host time babeeyyy"

•100th cycle

The angels Keran and Ezekiel are formed

Ezekiel is cast from heaven because he kept abandoning his creations, but, just like Zavaan before him, he was caught by Death and made to be his host

Keran becomes a host of War after he succumbs to his own rage over how falling angels are treated.

•101st-109th cycle

Anthrazit And Zavaan are finally a bit more let off from the riders since they have new and improved hosts™ now but not to worry there's still enough angst and yearning going around. Zavaan slowly comes around to staying with Anthrazit though

•110th cycle

Keran makes out Anthrazit's location and captures him for War. Fawning over the alleged 'legendary general Anthrazit' he makes him relive His greatest acts under war first hand and let's him forget the times he almost succeeded against the riders and especially Zavaan.

Anthrazit is Made War's Admiral and having two hosts now she can plot the ultimate war in letting her hosts lead opposing armies. The war that followed is to never be recreated, neither in length, cruelty, or body count.

Zavaan, having of course noticed the trend of an upcoming war, set out to search Anthrazit this time around. Of course he couldn't find him and thus tried to act against the war on his own. This was also, of course, futile.

In an attempt to stop one the war's more gruesome weapons Zavaan sacrificed himself to save thousands. However he didn't wake up in the next world or just some decades later on the material plane again. No, Zavaan woke up on Death's plane and was promptly made his host again, next to Ezekiel

•111th-124th cycle

Anthrazit somehow escapes War, probably bc Keran was too jealous and fucked up

Zavaan isn't as lucky and falls harder for Death, succumbing to him like he hasn't in over 100 worlds

•125th cycle

Death and War come up with a plan and thus pose Zavaan and Keran as leaders of a joint-cult.

Anthrazit tries to confront Laszlo and sway him from causing the apocalypse. To no avail as he was defeated by Laszlo together with Famine and left temporarily without memories.

After Anthrazit just followed his instincts of where he thought he should go (Zavaan's vibes) he found himself in the cult. Keran was immediately trying to make him remember his war glory days while Zavaan was trying and failing to resist Death's orders. Together the two hosts were able to make Anthrazit not Just remember but he also became a host of both Death and War.

•126-129th cycle

With the reality of his actions weighing even more on his conscience Zavaan was finally able to fight against Death again. After almost killing Ezekiel, the demon was on for the ultimate punishment.

•130th cycle

Death ordered his newest host, Anthrazit, to cast Zavaan into the river Phlegethon, which's fires are the only things able to eradicate something as life- and deathless as Zavaan.

As his last attempt to be with Anthrazit He desperately clung to him, going so far as to even drag him down with him into the river flames.

During their fight Zavaan managed to yank Anthrazit's stone, his essence, out of his chest as the now empty vessel of the two-rider host escaped the flames and seemingly left the Demon to die

Thankfully to Anthrazit's Holy, shielding powers Zavaan was able to stand against the flames and later walk out of the river again, still figuratively and literally on death's door.

Zavaan escapes hell.

131st-149th cycle

Zavaan roams the material planes evading everything even remotely connected to the riders and apocalypses. His first and only priority is to protect the literal Anthrazit Stone in hopes of his angelic love to reform

150th cycle

Anthrazit reforms and he and Zavaan are finally reunited.

Anthravaan ist first formed?? MayB

•151st cycle

Victoria time babeeyyy thwart war's plans hell yeeeaaa

•Some cycle afterwards

They finally fuckin manage to make Laszlo Not Kill Flubius

Periwinkle 🥺

[semi-imaginary-place]

discord naruto rambling

How can naruto be such a mess yet sooo good. Naruto has so many story problems I cant recommend it to people yet there's something special about. The world is so alive and vibrant. Kishimoto is a good designer. Naruto has so many good characters and designs. Character creation is definitely kishimoto's strong suite. Like I think Madara looks super cool between the plate armor (? reminds me of ceramic armor)and the giant fan and spiky hair. the story is executed poorly but there's a lot of good to Naruto, the characters and their dynamics, the way everything feels. And it's generally a fun battle adventure series but the emotions are very real and it does a pretty good job with a narrative about war trauma and grief.

The powercreep tho 😭 naruto breaks all the narrative guard rails and starts performing miracles growing limbs raising the dead. It destroys the narrative tension what a mistake.

When i first stated reading naruto when I was like 10 or whatever i though he was really annoying. And it's only after i dropped and then picked up Shippuden again that i started to appreciate naruto and i ended up really liking him as a character. his emotions felt so real. As much as talk no jutsu gets a bit ridiculous i do like that in the battle shounen manga the most powerful technique is empathy and talking to people. I do respect naruto for that. There's also something compelling about how hard he tries for other people. It was also pretty amusing in shippuden watching him obsess over sasuke. Bro has a panic attack over the thought of his friends going after sasuke. He swears a double suicide pact with him. Naruto's crying begging in the snow for the raikage to spare sasuke. The entire final valley of the end fight was really good and then these idiot blow off each other's arms. Insane.

the series was better before shippuden overall. Og Naruto had this charm that shippuden lacks. Because conflicts were on the smaller scale, more personal grounded stories were told. The fights were less powerful which let them be more complex, strategic and intricate instead of how in Shippuden it was about chakra blasting (the power leveling curse). Shippuden was more about nuclear explosions battles where as og naruto got to explore more normal people and convey worldbuilding and interpersonal dynamics. But i liked naruto as a person more in shippuden which is totally personal preference.

Naruto and sasuke are so stupid. It's funny how in part 1 sasuke is built up as this smart rival character but come shippuden there is not a thought in that boy's head. he has 0 plans he just keeps shifting targets of who to kill. He really is just lashing out

Obito's fascinating. The parallels to sasuke and naruto yeah between the hokage dream and underdog status to the deranged emotional unstability. obito's attachment to rin his preteen crush works narratively much better for him than it does sakura. With obito it shows how out of touch with reality he is that he is still living 20 years ago abd was never able to let go of rin he doesn't see the present. With sakura i get the impression kishimoto genuinely sees it as romantic when it is actually super cringe that sakura is chasing this guy who doesn't remember she exists. 1 pair of sharingan split between 2 people is also such an amazing concept

I do think sometimes about how orochimaru was probably the last to leave konoha. Like tsunade quit during the 3nd (?) ninja war. Then jiraya chased after her.

I wonder about the trio parallels. On one hand they create this sense of continuity and legacy. On the other hand i wonder if it implies that konoha is stuck repeating the same mistakes. or is it about naruto's generation breaking the cycle (boruto isn't real)

Edo tensei is really plot breaking (and if i think about it my head hurts) but it did allow direct contrasts between the old hokage and naruto himself. I think tobirama and sarutobi are some of the most interesting characters as they are both well intentioned and genuinely work for the betterment of konoha while each being deeply flawed and causing or contributing to some of konoha's worst problems. And 3rd hokage'# problem is that he trusts too much on the good of humanity which is so ironic. He believes that everything will work out and people will become better on their own so much that it makes him passive, believing he doesn't need to intervene when there are serious problems. And he forgives people that really shouldn't be forgiven like wow he enabled so much of danzo. And then there's hashirama who i could write an essay about. Psychologists could case study him. But in conclusion i think most of the problems in the naruto series could have been solved if hashirama married into madara's clan

[saiilorstars]

The Girl in the Forest

Chapter 5: Down Memory Lane

// Story Masterlist //

Pairings: Klaus Mikaelson x Original Female Character

Summary: Maleny learns (or relearns) a few most important events in her original body, the ones that led to a closer relationship with Klaus.

Pronunciation of OC’s name: Ma-leh-nee

No real warnings for now!

Requested tag: @queenmj10

~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~

"He's what?" Maleny blinked in horror, the only thing she could do after hearing what Kieran was going through thanks to some resurrected witch.

Cami was both upset with the matter and angry for Maleny's lack of appearance lately. Last night, Maleny had finally decided to come back and was greeted with a cold shoulder by Cami. In the morning, Maleny had practically cornered Cami and forced her to at least say 'hello' and then explain why she and Kieran weren't answering her calls. That's when Cami decided to tell Maleny of the hex that had been placed on Kieran because she couldn't bring herself to plunge the blade of Papa Tunde into Klaus. She'd been given an ultimatum: use the blade on Klaus to save her uncle or disregard it and let her uncle die. At the end, Cami just couldn't do that to Klaus. So now she was there, telling Maleny how their uncle was hexed with limited amount of solutions. Maleny could not believe what she had heard and was a bit ignorant on the glare Cami was sending her at the moment.

"You would've known if you were around," the blonde snapped.

"I tried calling..." Maleny began. It pained her that she couldn't tell Cami anything of what was really going on. It made her look like the bad guy, and while she perhaps was she didn't mean to be.

"Fat lot of good that did," Cami scoffed and turned away, "I needed you, Mal, and you weren't here," the accusation punctured a wound in Maleny's heart.

"I was...I was stuck doing something else, I'm sorry," Maleny sighed, reaching to place her hand on Cami's shoulder, only to have the blonde shake her hand off, "Cami..."

"What was so important you blatantly ignored my calls and decided to skip sleeping here for two days?"

Maleny bit her lip, remaining absolutely silent. This only served to infuriate Cami even more, "We made a plan to save Davina and somehow that turned into an excuse for you to disappear!"

Maleny looked away, offended Cami thought she'd skipped out on their plan when in reality she had been in a sacrificial ritual thanks to some resurrected witch. Of course, Cami couldn't know that because then it would lead her to asking why she was still alive and...no, she couldn't know that.

"Do you know I was attacked by some deranged man in a white suit? I nearly died if it hadn't been for Marcel...and Klaus," Cami decided to add in the end, only to give gratitude. She wanted nothing to do with that man, not even to mention his name.

Maleny sighed, she'd heard that from Klaus himself. She felt awful because she hadn't been there for Cami due to her own issues. Now, she returned to find her uncle hexed and her cousin furious with her. On top of that, she had numerous calls from Elijah on the landline of Cami's house, only adding to the suspicions of Cami. She hadn't forgotten what Marcel had told her about Maleny back in the bar. She wouldn't accept it back then but now with all this and Maleny's strange behavior...perhaps it wouldn't hurt to look into it.

"Cami, I'm sorry," Maleny couldn't find other words to say except those.

Cami turned and opened her mouth to respond when the landline went off again. She marched over to the phone and picked it up, "WHAT!?" she half-shouted, making Maleny wince behind. After a moment, Cami seemed calm enough to answer, "No, Elijah, she's still here," she cast a hard look back at Maleny, "Sure, I'll send her off. But hey, in the meantime, have you or your brother found a way to help my hexed uncle?" she rubbed her temple and gritted her teeth, "Thank you," she muttered and hung up, more like slammed the phone back down.

Maleny carefully stepped closer, knowing just how bad Cami's temper could get at times from her implanted memories, "Hey..."

"Just go," she pointed to the door.

"But you clearly can't be-"

"Maleny, GO!" Cami shouted, making Maleny wince again, "I want to be alone. Go now. I don't need you so go!"

With a sigh, Maleny walked into her guest room to pick up some of her belongings should Cami not open the door for her when she returned tonight, because she would be returning in the night to clear everything with Cami. Half of her mind blamed Elijah and his insistent calls for Cami's attitude. Maleny could not understand what was so urgent that she was needed asap. With a huff, she left the house with an angry Cami inside.

Cami hurried towards the door and locked it before turning and leaning against it. She looked around and spotted her laptop...she had an idea. Marcel's words about Maleny were running through her head more and more, like it was on a loop. Quickly, she rushed for the laptop and plopped down at the table, beginning a search she never thought she'd do.

~ 0 ~

A very irritated Maleny entered the compound, almost stomping her feet with each step she took, "Elijah, there better be a hell of a good reason why I am here," she threatened once she saw the man in the suit up by the balcony, "I have very little patience today and certainly no room for wasting time," she went up the stairs to meet him.

Elijah remained completely calm despite everything that was going on, "My brother has a mystical torture device buried in his chest, and the mother of his child is inexplicably missing. So, I can assure you, I have no time to play any games, either."

"Haley's missing?" Maleny called just as she reached the second floor. Her mind immediately rushed to last night, when Haley mentioned something about having plans of her own. She never actually questioned just what those plans were.

"Yes, you wouldn't have anything to do or know about that, would you?"

"No, I left because I had to go see Cami and Kieran," Maleny shook her head as she followed Elijah, into a room "who is hexed by the way. Thank you very much for informing me of that little detail," she snapped with even more annoyance, "Was anyone ever planning on telling me about that? Because I'm pretty damn sure it was..." she stopped talking once she caught sight of Klaus in bed without a shirt and looking quite in pain, "...what's um...what's going on over there?" she frowned.

"While you dealt with an angry human I dealt with angry vampires," Elijah informed casually as he removed his jacket and rolled up his sleeve, "One of them had to be subdued with a mystical dagger."

Maleny blinked once she caught on what had been said, "Oh and you...you didn't..." she gave him a pointed look which was quickly reciprocated.

"I did."

"Elijah!" she cried, appalled, "How could you?"

"He was about to kill Rebekah," he moved towards Klaus, "I had to do what I had to do."

"He's that mad?"

"He's that mad."

"Wait a minute," Maleny shook her head fast, "It's my understanding that the blade was pretty powerful and...painful..." she eyed the hardly moving hybrid on the bed.

"Oh yes," Elijah nodded, "Every second it remains causes Niklaus untold suffering."

"But it's going to come out right?" she quickly asked, even realizing her haste to be assured it would. That was odd.

"It is," Elijah wiggled his fingers to motion what he was going to do, "Now you may want to step back."

"O-okay..." she did as told and backed away, "...but there's one thing I don't understand, apart from everything else anyways: why am I here? I mean, why so many damn calls? As you heard from Cami's tone, we're not doing so hot. I should be over there trying to fix things with her.

"Because of all the people that could be here, you're probably the only one Niklaus wouldn't immediately slaughter," he used a scalpel and sliced it along the angry red scar on Klaus's chest.

"Oh, that's reassuring," Maleny frowned, "Probably'," she mimicked his tone.

"Potential asset and..." he jammed his fist into the now-open wound, "...you're Maleny Rowan, that name used to do wonders for him."

Maleny looked away when Elijah took out the blade, flinching at the scream of pain Klaus gave as soon as it was out.

"And I due hope your name does wonders at this moment as well," Elijah finished rather calmly as was his nature apparently, "You see, Niklaus will be weak as he recovers. So, watch over him and feed him, if you would. But slowly, please, and from your wrist."

"I'm sorry?" Maleny backed away again, "I would assume there's blood bags in storage around here. Why does it have to come from me?" she held her hands to her chest.

"You said your blood was laced with vervain, yes?"

"Yeah, Haley put me on it."

"It'll burn him and therefore make him ingest it far slower. Perhaps you could use the time constructively? Persuade him not to murder his baby sister," he gave an offer before turning to Klaus, "Niklaus, it was not my desire to bring you pain, but I will not see you hurt Rebekah."

"Elijah. You will pay for this," Klaus warned in a weak voice, threatening nonetheless.

Elijah decided to ignore that and cleaned his hand before taking Maleny to the doorway, speaking quieter, "Now, I fear Sabine will be making a final move against us. I intend to find her and to end this."

"What am I supposed to do?" Maleny whispered, actually afraid of this plan.

"For starters, perhaps show him your necklace," Elijah gestured to the golden chain around her neck, "I wasn't going to mention it to him until I was sure but..."

Maleny put a hand over the locket, "But what?"

Elijah sighed, "Desperate times call for desperate measures. It's the only proof we need to know that you're telling the truth. He'll know it too. So please, just do what you used to do."

"I don't know what I used to do!" Maleny exclaimed, receiving a look to stay quiet. She sighed then spoke quieter, "Yes, I'm the girl, but...I don't remember how to be the girl."

"I don't think that's problem here," Elijah knowingly smiled at her, "Perhaps it's the fact you're scared to be that girl again. I don't blame you, the lives we all lived there weren't easy."

"Scared?" Maleny made a face but couldn't find it in her to defend herself against it.

"Don't refuse your identity. Believe it or not, there were good moments I knew of between you and others in the village. And, I assume, there were plenty more with my brother that none of us knew about," his smile turned into a smirk that had Maleny blushing within seconds.

"Elijah!" she scolded, hitting him on the arm.

"Just remember, alright? No matter how scared you might be, there were good, beautiful moments in your life," Elijah gave her a hug before taking his leave.

"This is great..." Maleny watched after him with a deep breath. She turned and let her bag drop on the floor, "We have some talking to do," she declared as she grabbed a chair and pulled to the side of the bed.

"Must we really?" Klaus could barely turn his head to look at her. Every part of his body was aching and the thirst he felt in his throat was skyrocketing...and she wanted to talk?

"Yes, we 'must really''," she mimicked him, "You are out of your psychotic mind, do you know that?"

At least her humor was still original, "And here I thought I'd be having a sweet little nurse," he gave a small smirk.

"Oh you'd like that," she rolled her eyes, though she did feel a small warmth in her face for some reason, "But no, I'm here to talk about your sister, apparently."

"I'm hungry," was his plain response.

"Okay," Maleny could see she was going to be dealing with an even more stubborn hybrid than usual, "This is how it's going to work: if you want good tasty blood, laced with vervain of course, you're going to listen and you're going to talk. And for once you're in no position to argue. So do as I say and we'll have a dandy ole day," she put on a sweet smile.

"I'd snap your neck right now if I could move properly," he rolled his eyes. Though the more he thought about the action the less he was sure he could actually go through it. That...bothered him.

"And I'd come back to life, apparently," Maleny shrugged, "So that would get you no where," she sighed, now growing serious, "Now, truthfully, how can you want to kill your own sister? You're not thinking straight."

Klaus opened his mouth and then thought of a better idea, "I'm hungry."

"Klaus," she scolded.

"You said I talk and I get blood, so hand it over, love," he smirked.

Maleny rolled her eyes and held her wrist out, "I swear to God if you bleed me out I'll come back and kill you...or haunt you."

"I like your sense of humor," Klaus commented as he grabbed her wrist, "That much hasn't changed, you know."

"Really?" Maleny barely had time to ponder on that when she felt the sharp jab on her wrist's skin, "Ah! Hey, that actually hurt. Slow down!"

"Okay," Klaus finally pulled away, only getting a small part of his strength back. It pained her and admittedly it did make him want to lessen his drinking.

"I'm pretty sure vervain is supposed to burn," Maleny took her wrist back, frowning.

"As you may have yet to realize, the line between what brings us pain and what sustains us is far thinner than one imagines."

"Are you talking about my blood or your senseless need to hunt down your own flesh and blood?"

"I'm too weak for these talks right now," Klaus turned his head away from her.

"I'm no psychologist like Cami but I know my fair share of losses as well. Implanted in my head, but losses nonetheless. How can you hate your own sister?"

"Because she betrayed me in a way I never thought my own 'flesh and blood'", he mimicked Maleny's tone, "would ever do."

"How?"

"Rebekah's always had a lack of judgement when it came to men. I always tried to keep her from a heartbreak, always," he made sure to emphasize that last word, "But she never understood. We were always on the run and the one moment, the one time I allowed her to finally live in freedom...she betrayed me. I let my guard down and given in to happiness, more fool, I."

"But that was a century ago, what could be so bad that you'd want to kill her for it now?" he pointed to her other wrist and when she caught his look she immediately shook her head, "No!" she cried and stood up, "I will decide when you get more," she walked around, "Back to business, you shouldn't take revenge, what would be the point now? Rebekah is your sister. One of the only siblings you have left because let's be honest, your other ones weren't in good contact with you."

"And how would you know that?"

Maleny blinked as she realized, "Oh...I think I remembered," she turned and headed for her bag on the floor.

"Have you been remembering lately?"

"Yes..." she pulled out a small journal, "...but I also have been listening to stories," she glanced over her shoulders, "Stories I'd rather not see..." she turned, "Rebekah told me what you did to my father," at that, Klaus turned his head away again, silent, "Care to elaborate on that?"

"I had no choice," was the answer.

"And isn't that what Rebekah may have thought during 1919? Hm?" she set the journal on the foot of the bed, "Perhaps what you did back then were for the same reasons Rebekah did what she did later on."

"No!" Klaus half shouted, "What I did was for safety! You were human back then and frail and you needed me!"

Maleny was quite unused to seeing that side of him directed towards the current her. For a second she almost forgot the point she was trying to make, "You acted out of love," she began quietly, finding it difficult to look him in the eye for the moment. She found Klaus's black shirt lying on the edge, nearly falling. She picked it up and moved to the side of the bed to hand it over, "Don't be so quick to forget your own past, Klaus," she whispered the warning.

He looked at her a moment, as if heeding her warning. But then he snatched his shirt from her hand, ignoring said warning, "I did not betray my family," he snapped as he sat up, "Rebekah brought to town the one thing I'd been running from for centuries... my father."

Maleny walked back to pick up her journal, suddenly quiet as she recalled Rebekah's story, "I'm sorry for that."

"Yeah, so was I," Klaus muttered.

"Rebekah told me a bit of my original self and in it was you...and a glimpse of your father," Maleny turned to face him as he laid back down, now with his shirt buttoned up, "I'm really sorry for what you had to endure. I heard mine was no better either."

"It was no wonder our father's got along so well," he shook his head, "But unlike me, you had no one to defend you. It was up to me and I made sure that changed."

Maleny didn't realize she'd let loose a smile for those words, but when she did she cleared her throat and scolded him, "That's not changing, that's murdering."

"No, that's not how you saw it back then. You have to see everything else that happened before you make your conclusion."

Maleny groaned in frustration, "How many times do I have to say this: I can't see the visions or dreams on command!"

"Perhaps you could go work on that right now..." he innocently suggested, making her scoff.

"Weak try by the way," she remarked.

"Well I am recovering from a nasty blade," he reminded.

"I'm not leaving and neither are you," she crossed her arms, "Besides, I would think Rebekah and Marcel would be anywhere in the world by now. It won't be that easy to find them."

"Oh, I'm not so sure about that," he gave her a sharp look, "To get away from me, they'll need a cloaking spell, and for that, they'll need a witch. There's only one place they can go..."

Maleny's eyes widened at the realization, "Oh no..." she breathed.

Klaus just smirked in victory, "Home," he finished.

"Don't do this," Maleny pleaded, seeing he had far better chances of finding them now, "She's your sister for goodness sake."

"For that same reason I'm doing this," Klaus snapped, "She should've known better! Now, she'll pay the price," he motioned with a hand for her wrist again.

Maleny reluctantly held her wrist again, "You'll regret it one day, you know," she spoke quietly, only wincing once that time, "I've seen you, remember? I know nearly everything about you. I know your huge paranoia of being left alone, or left out, and how much it troubles you. Well, look at yourself now, you're ready to kill your sister, god knows what you'll end up doing to Elijah. If you go through with all this...you'll really be alone."

Klaus finally let go of her wrist and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, "You may as well save your breath, love, no one can persuade me otherwise. My siblings have brought this upon their selves."

"I can," Maleny spoke up rather nervously, "I'm the one person who was able to make you do anything, apparently," she looked down at her necklace and suddenly pulled it off her, "Do you remember this?" she held it out to him.

Klaus's eyes widened, of course he recognized it. How could he not have seen that before!? Tentatively, he reached to touch the pendant, "You never let go of it..." he whispered, his eyes drifting up to Maleny's.

The image of the Maleny he knew, his Maleny, did not fit with the woman that sat beside him. And yet, she had the necklace that had been her prize possession back in the day.

"That girl you met all those centuries ago wouldn't want you to do this," Maleny swallowed the lump in her throat threatening to make her tear up, "Now I may not look like the girl in the forest you used to know, but she's in here," she gestured to herself, "and she doesn't want you to do this either. You won't listen to me just because I don't have pretty blonde hair anymore?"

For the first time since they'd began conversing, Klaus shared a laugh with her, "I didn't like you because you had 'pretty blonde hair'."

Maleny smiled, "That's good to hear. So why exactly did you like me back then?"

Klaus gave her a look for her question, "So now we're going to discuss the matters of our love life?"

Due to her blush, Maleny took a moment to herself and looked down, "Well, technically, it'd be your love life we're discussing. I can't remember mine."

"Somehow that sounds like a distraction so I don't harm my baby sister," Klaus handed her gold necklace back.

Maleny reluctantly took it back and sighed, "I really do mean it, though. I can't remember most of my life. At least tell me how I died. Because that's where it started."

"If I knew then perhaps you wouldn't be here today," Klaus leaned back on the headboard, "We had an...argument," it seemed he had trouble admitting that, "and you ran off. I was too frustrated so I let you go. I waited and waited for you to come back to the village but...you never did. You disappeared."

"And there were no clues as to why or how?"

"We searched for you, for one entire day we all looked for you and...nothing," Klaus sighed, balling his fists as the anger flourished in his blood, "You were gone. The last time I saw you you were so angry with me...that is the last memory I have of you."

Maleny rubbed the side of her neck, unsure of how to go about that topic. She didn't remember anything but he did, and he looked so...guilty. It was startling, honestly, and she felt compelled to make him feel better, "What ever happened I know it wasn't your fault," she reached to take his hand, uncaring of how he would react to it. She was just focused on making him better.

Klaus looked down at her hand but felt even worse. He had buried the disappearance of Maleny Rowan as deep as possible, his guilty conscience never allowing him peace for it. He gently took his hand from under hers, "I think you should wait to see your disappearance before you make statements like that."

"Well, since I can't command the visions, I guess we'll just have to wait," Maleny cleared her throat, "But listen, my body might be gone and technically, yeah, I'm still missing...but that doesn't matter anymore. I'm here, under the oddest circumstances, but I am here and I am trying to get my life back in order. And, believe it or not, you are part of this life. I've seen so many sides of you in my memories and right now I am looking at one that scares me. It scares me to the bone."

Klaus didn't take that so lightly, "Then leave," he snapped.

Maleny blinked, "No, don't take that the wrong way-"

"There is no other way to take it, love. You said what you want now I say what I want: this is me, and you don't have to be here to see me. In fact, I'm going to go do what I should have been doing all along, finding Rebekah and Marcel," and with that he tried getting up from the bed.

Maleny frantically tried to keep him down, "You're still weak! Did you forget that or something?"

"No, and I haven't forgotten my hunger," he cast a rather irritated look at her, "And unless you really want to become my lunch I suggest you move out of my way!"

"Aha, no," she shook her head, "You're not getting any of that. So, be a good little boy and get back into bed."

"If I had a quid for every time a woman has tried that line on me," Klaus smirked.

"Oh, he's hallucinating," she shook her head and stepped back with her own smirk, "Poor thing."

"I wouldn't be so quick to talk," Klaus pointed a finger at her, "If you are the Maleny I knew, then we had quite the nights..." he swayed his head, his smirk widening.

Maleny frowned and clapped her hand over his mouth, "Shut up, shut up right there and then," not a second later did she feel a prick on her palm, making her jerk it away with shock, "You bit me...with fangs."

"Be gracious I didn't go for the neck," was Klaus's simple response.

"Ever the gentleman," she rolled her eyes, "I don't know how you managed to get the women I've seen."

"I'm charming, did I forget to mention?"

This time, Maleny rolled her eyes with a playfulness in them, "Yes, did you also forget to mention how big of a show off you are?" she grabbed her journal and threw it to him, "I've got at least a full page for each women I've seen be shown off all your 'skills' and whatnot."

"You mean showing off my incredible charms," Klaus picked up the journal and started skimming through the pages, not even realizing that for a couple minutes he wasn't even thinking of Rebekah nor Marcel nor anything.

Maleny did.

She smiled genuinely and took a seat on the chair again, watching him read the pages she'd written. The murderous looks were gone momentarily as pensiveness took over, his attention seemingly captivated by what was written on the pages.

Out of the no where, Maleny blurted, "Do you think I could be them too?" Klaus raised his eyebrows as he looked up, "I mean, it makes sense why I see them all," they hadn't actually sat down to discuss that topic, even though it was pretty much unofficially believed.

"You'd jumped bodies longer than Celeste then," Klaus released a breath as he thought more, "But Celeste was a powerful witch and, no offense love, but..."

"I hadn't really mastered my powers yet, huh?" Maleny assumed by the look on his face.

"You were getting good at it," Klaus tried to ease down the truth, "but...you still needed more practice."

"So someone did this to me, for sure," Maleny bit her lip, "Who? And why?" she sighed, "I just don't understand why someone would do this to me."

"I promise you we are going to figure that out," a determination settled into Klaus's tone, "because that person made you disappear. I'll find them."

Maleny smiled, "How's about you promise me that you won't kill your sister instead, hm? I would really like that."

"Nice try."

Maleny groaned, "C'mon, we were doing so well for a short time. Can't we make that last a little longer?"

"Your attempts are full of genuine determination, admirable, but useless nonetheless," Klaus snatched the journal from her hands and opened it up to a page, "You wrote about Le Grand Guignol," he looked up with suspicious eyes, "What do you know about that?"

"That was part of Maya Sterling's life," Maleny shrugged, "You liked the play so you were going to take her there."

"I was..." he nodded with a small sigh, "...but my good ole father had other plans."

Maleny bit her lip as she considered her next words, "You know...I don't really know what happened to Maya. I mean, there's a lot of these women whose endings I don't know about. But, since we're already talking about 1919..."

"You want to know how she died...I don't think you do."

"Yes I do," Maleny assured, "I need to know everything those women did, what patterns they all shared, anything and everything to help me right now. There are some of the women who just...disappeared," her voice went into a whisper of fear, "Just like my first life. They just disappear and are never seen again. I don't want to disappear again. If you're going to murder Rebekah, can you at least do something good today?" she questioned before lightly gasping, "But don't tell Elijah I said that."

Klaus took a moment to consider the plead and decided to get something out of it as well. Next thing Maleny knew, her wrist was being asked for again.

"Are you serious?" she frowned.

"If I'm to get strength then I need blood, no matter how much yours burns," he motioned for her wrist.

"You're not looking so weak anymore," she remarked as she held her wrist again.

"You've turned out to be a good little nurse after all," he said as he took her wrist.

Maleny pretended to gasp, "Klaus Mikaelson, was that a compliment out of your sheer will?"

"Well if you are to be Maleny, the real Maleny I mean, I suppose I could be a tad nice. But don't get used to it," Klaus warned her.

"Why not?" Maleny earnestly questioned, "The night we had those drinks you were a bit nice," she reminded, "I think you even flirted with me."

"Mm, that wasn't flirting. Believe me, you'll know when I flirt."

"Right, so when I'm up against that wall," she jerked a thumb behind her, "and being snogged to death, I'll know," she rolled her eyes, "Look, this is interesting and all, but I really need you to listen: please don't kill your sister."

"Never going to let that go, are you?"

"This is your sister we're talking about! God, I can't believe this is man I saw talking for hours, and I do mean for hours, about a stupid play Maya couldn't care less about."

"Maya loved that play," he argued.

Maleny scoffed loudly, "Oh no, trust me, she did not give a damn about it. The only reason she listened was because it was you that was talking. Where is that man, hm?"

Klaus looked away from her, unsure of what he was more irritated of: the fact that the woman simply would not give up in her useless determinant efforts or that he couldn't seem to stay focused on how he was going to go after Rebekah and Marcel all because a simple brunette kept swaying him with words. What the hell was going on here?

~ 0 ~

Back at Cami's, there were dozens of papers around her bed with her laptop in the center. Cami had a frantic face on as she continuously searched through pile, "How is this possible?" she murmured, chewing on her nail as she read and read her aunt and uncle's letters they always wrote for her family from overseas.

It always happened like that, Cami remembered. Her family would receive letters from Maleny's parents who lived in England, and Cami always remembered there being pictures and even letters handwritten by Maleny herself. But now she physically went looking through them, Cami found herself coming up with nothing but pure letters from her aunt and uncle, no mention of any sort of Maleny - no daughter.

That couldn't be right...could it?

~ 0 ~

Maleny walked into the living room to find Klaus already pouring himself a drink, "Really?" she raised an eyebrow, "I leave for one minute and you go straight for the scotch?"

"It helps," he turned and raised the glass.

"No, it doesn't," Maleny shook her head, "Elijah never said anything about drinking scotch."

"Do not speak to me of Elijah," he snapped.

"You know he loves you, right?"

"Yes. He does, and he proves it time and again, even when my father enlisted him to kill me."

"Ah, see?" Maleny crossed her arms, "All the reason not to hurt him as well," she walked further inside the room, "And while you're at it, you should leave Rebekah too."

"Your tries are getting weak," Klaus remarked.

"Well, you keep feeding off me," she playfully snapped and took his glass, "It's bound to have some effects. Now c'mon, no more," she stepped back with his glass.

"What are you going to do exactly to prevent me?" Klaus raised an eyebrow. Maleny looked around in thought and resigned to drink down what was left, "That was your master plan?" Klaus actually laughed a genuine laughter.

Maleny set down the glass on the counter beside them and sighed, "If it's what I must, then I shall," she considered grabbing another drink but she remembered she'd have to return to Cami sooner or later and she'd rather do that in all her senses to patch things up with her 'cousin'. She looked up to find Klaus silently looking at her, "Why are you looking at me like that?" Maleny was quick to ask in alarm. For all she knew, Klaus could be plotting how to get her out of the way in order to find Rebekah and Marcel.

"For a split second, you looked...exactly like Maleny back in the day," Klaus explained in a quiet tone, seeming stunned at the fact.

"Okay," Maleny nodded, unsure of how to respond coherently. But as the silent minutes, that seemed more like hours to Maleny, dreadfully passed, she had a few words in her head, "Why are you looking at me like that now?" she sheepishly asked, now feeling a small blush on her face.

In the meantime of the silence, Klaus had been staring at her with an expression Maleny would have to classify as interest. Unbeknownst to her, Klaus was thinking, or wondering, how she might look like now if she were back in her original body. She was really that girl in the forest he used to meet all the time? In that moment he realized how much he missed her and wanted her back. He didn't care who he had to go through, he would find the person responsible for her disappearance and make them pay. Simultaneously he would find someone to break the spell and put her back in her original body. He wanted to see her pretty blonde hair again, and perhaps, even-

"You're still doing it," Maleny accused, unable to find peace with her balance. She shifted from one side to the other waiting for the hybrid to make a word or something.

Instead of answering, Klaus reached to touch her face, startling her. He wanted to see if she felt different. Being inside a body that wasn't yours had to feel odd but what about those around that person? If he caressed her, would she react the same way she did back in the old days? With all the other women he never knew it could have been his Maleny, and so he never paid attention to these kinds of things.

Suddenly, a phone beeped and seeing as Maleny's had been broken back at the plantation house she knew it had to be Klaus's. On cue, he stepped back and checked his phone, his eyebrows raising when he read the message, "Oh, I hate to be a know-it-all. My sister and her lover have been spotted in town. So, our time endeth here, I'm afraid."

Maleny watched him walk to a statue and promptly knocked it down. Out came an indestructible white oak stake from it, "What is that?" she pointed.

"A white oak stake, my own special version. And, unlike the one my father had, this one cannot be destroyed," Klaus waved the stake with a smirk and sped out of the room.

Maleny blinked, barely able to process what had happened. Such weird things happened...

She shook her head and dashed out of the room, she couldn't let anything distract her from the main problem.

~ 0 ~

"Hi, this is Camille O' Connell, I'm calling on behalf of my cousin, Maleny Woods," Cami had her landline phone pressed on her ear while she held yet another photo album of her family, "She just wanted to make sure her credits transferred to her English literature class for the semester."

"I'm sorry, ma'am, but there are no records of Maleny Woods in this college," the woman from the other line informed.

Cami stopped walking, "Oh really," by this point she wasn't as surprised to find yet another place missing a student Maleny Woods, "Not even a 'Maleny Woods O' Connell?" Cami gave the benefit of the doubt to Maleny in case she'd used her entire name that included Cami's aunt's maiden name.

"I'm sorry ma'am, but there's nothing here," the woman repeated.

"Thank you," Cami hung up and tossed the phone to the table. She sighed in frustration and shut the album in her hands. This was impossible. There was nothing...nothing of the woman Cami believed was her cousin.

She'd called the last community college to see about that credit transfer that Maleny had told her about over the phone the night she was to leave New Orleans with her. And yet, now Cami knew there was nothing of Maleny in said college. And it was not just that...it was everything else. There were no pictures of Maleny as a child, teen, adult, alone or with her family. But Cami could distinctly remember specific memories that Maleny was in. And yet...she wasn't there.

~ 0 ~

Maleny had found Klaus not too far from the compound, currently feeding on some poor man, "What are you doing?" she sighed.

Klaus let the man go and sent him on his way, all compelled of course, and looked at Maleny with half a sarcasm tone, "Well, if you have to ask, you obviously haven't been paying attention. I'm going to kill my sister, but first, I needed some sustenance with a little less vervain in it. No offense."

"Believe me, none taken," Maleny assured and shook her head, "You can't do this."

"Give me a couple minutes, I'll get strength back and then I'll prove you wrong."

Maleny put a hand on her head, "Take it from me," she began again, serious now, "I don't know what's going on with me, all I know is that I'm some girl from the old world that disappeared. I don't have any family anymore. The one person I did have...you killed. I'm alone now, in the 21st century, I've got nothing left. You do, you have your siblings and you're going to hunt them both down. Isn't that what your father did to you?"

Klaus stepped back and narrowed his eyes at her, "Are you calling me my father?" the accusation making it a deeper wound than he was willing to admit.

"Well...not really but kill Rebekah and I won't see any difference between you two at all," Maleny crossed her arms, "You'll be a senseless murderer like he was."

"You have no idea of the past, what happened, my reasons for doing what I did...come, let me show you an answer to one of your questions," and before Maleny could protest, Klaus sped up and grabbed her by the arm, speeding off to who knew where.

~ 0 ~

Maleny found herself in front of the ruins of an old opera house, the precise one that Mikael had burned down in 1919. Confused, she looked at Klaus, "What? I know, it burned down, so what?"

"You really don't remember what happened, do you?" he began considering the way in which he would tell her about her predecessor's death.

"Remember what?" Maleny shrugged, staring at the opera house again, "What's going on?"

"Maya Sterling, the same day the opera house was burnt down...she disappeared," Klaus began, ignoring the look Maleny was now giving him, "But she was found that same day...on the stage...staked to death and hung up like a prop," Maleny was frozen on her spot as she listened to his words, her eyes tearing up, unaware that were so Klaus's, "She wasn't the only one up on stage, there was Marcel, staked to a cross by the hands. Maya was...dead," Klaus swallowed hard, "There was nothing I could do for her so I tried to help Marcel but my father had other ideas. Rebekah attempted to intervene. And you know, all these years, I actually believed she was trying to save me..."

"Wouldn't you have tried saving Maya if she had still been alive?" Maleny softly questioned, making him think about it, "Rebekah was just doing what her heart was telling her to do."

"I had to run, beaten like the dog my father believed me to be," Klaus ignored the comment as he stared at the opera house, "And as we fled for our lives, he burnt it all to the ground. And with it, we assumed, Marcel. I lived, but all that we had built died, as did the last shred of me that felt human," he finally turned to Maleny, "I lost Maya because of those two."

"But...but I'm still here," Maleny gestured to herself, "I mean, it's weird but-"

"You're not her," Klaus interrupted, "You...you're afraid of me. You said it yourself. I scare you to the bone. So now, I'll go play the role I'm given, the one you've appropriated for me as well."

"No, Klaus, I-I didn't...I didn't mean to," Maleny tried to step closer to him but he sped away and left her on the street. She felt tears welling in her eyes as she realized she had unintentionally hurt him.

She looked at the opera house and shuddered a breath, hoping to God she would never remember the death she had went through as Maya. She shook her head and turned to head back to the compound where she'd left her things. She'd have to go find someone else who could help her now. On the turn of the street, she bumped into someone and heard a book drop to the ground. She bent down and picked up the blue book and handed it to the young man it belonged to, "Sorry."

"It's alright," the young man nodded with a smile that made Maleny sheepishly give one back. She went around him and continued down the sidewalk. She never looked back which allowed the young man to watch her go unnoticed.

~ 0 ~

Next Day

Maleny could not believe she was walking into Davina's old room in the attic of the church...where Davina herself now sat in, alive. She'd returned, apparently, by killing one of the resurrected witches. Marcel had called Cami's house where he'd requested not only her but Maleny as well. The two 'cousins' had been trying to talk once more, if Cami ignoring Maleny was 'talking' anyways, when Marcel had called in. What was worse was that Maleny found out the three Mikaelson siblings were currently stuck in the cemetery until nightfall tonight. Maleny feared for Rebekah's life, as well as Elijah's, for Klaus was in a state of utter fury. The only hope was for Davina to be able to lower down the boundary spell.

"Davina..." Maleny stood at the doorway of Davina's room, her heart breaking at the sight of the young girl. Cami had, begrudgingly remained downstairs for the moment with Marcel and Kieran after Marcel had specified that Davina wanted to see Maleny first for some reason.

"Maleny!" Davina gasped when she saw the brunette, "I...I know what happened to you..." she blinked with wide eyes, "...m-m-most of it anyways."

"You do?" Maleny could have nearly ran for the girl to get most of her answers but remembered the situation. As much as she wanted her answers she kept thinking about Klaus and the mistake he was about to commit, or could commit at any moment.

"It's a spell, you were tricked," Davina breathed heavily, her mind too exhausted from everything she'd endured in limbo to fully explain at the moment.

"Davina, I'd like to hear what you know but right now you're more important," Maleny slowly walked up to the bed and remained at the foot standing up, "Marcel mentioned something about being in limbo..."

"I was alone..." Davina began, pulling her knees to her chest, deciding it was best to talk to Maleny once her head was cleared, "...for a moment, anyways, but then I heard them. Voices, whispering to me."

"Who?"

"The ancestors. They're so angry with me. I used my power against my own, and they said they'd do horrible things to me if I misuse my magic again."

"Then all we have to do is just get you to start practicing magic like you used to," Maleny cautiously took a seat on the bed, "Before the Harvest."

"No, the witches don't want me anymore..."

"Yeah but if this Harvest thing is completed then bygones should be bygones," Maleny shrugged, "They got what they wanted in the end, after all."

"You're really a witch, you know that?" Davina surprised her with the confirmation of her powers, "I saw it, the ancestors, they know you. They've been watching you..."

"Oh goody," Maleny rolled her eyes, "Must be a hell of a freak-show for them. But right now, I don't matter, you do. Take my advise, try to start practicing magic like you used to before Marcel took you."

"You say that like it's so simple, but the witches aren't just gonna let me go. They're not done with me."

"No one can control you unless you let them."

"How do I even know who to trust? Should I trust Marcel? The first thing he did when I came back was try to use me again to help Rebekah. I'm sure Cami has something she wants from me too."

"And me too," Maleny sighed, "The curse resolved, to find my body-"

"But you're different, you're not asking me to fix you," Davina half-smiled, "You're telling me you don't matter...you're not like the others, that's why I only trust you."

Maleny smiled softly, "Then if you trust me, follow my advise. Look, if you want, we can go back to your coven and we can ask them for help."

"When I came back, the voices I heard, they said the only ones who could help me are the witches," Davina sighed, "But, after what I did to them, they hate me. So, how can I go back and ask for their help now?"

Maleny's heart broke all over again as the young girl broke into sobs again.

~ 0 ~

"Do you think there's any way of getting the witches to take Davina in again?" Maleny asked Marcel once Cami had taken her turn to see Davina, Kieran already gone to tend to the human fraction.

"Oh, like that's a possibility," Marcel scoffed in exasperation.

"Well until we haven't performed it, it is," Maleny crossed her arms, "You know the witches well, don't you think it'd be best for you to ask help?"

"Do you know why I know the witches so well?"

"You used to be a tyrant, yes I'm aware," Maleny nodded, "But you're not anymore and you want to get Rebekah out of that cemetery as much as I want to, so guess what? Talking to the witches is our best option."

"And do you really care Rebekah or Davina?"

"Excuse me?"

Marcel stalked up to her with a menacing look, "I know you don't exist, that you're a complete lie!" Maleny flinched at the loud tone that was being used against her, "I don't know how you did it, how you keep doing it, but you're nothing but a lie. Cami and Kieran think you're their family when the truth is all those thoughts were implanted in their heads!"

"Don't you yell at me!" Maleny snapped, raising her own voice back, "You think I like lying to Cami?"

"Seems like it to me! But your game ends here because I told Cami everything and I doubt it'll be long before the doubt really kicks in and she'll start digging, realizing that you're a lie."

With that, Maleny was left alone as Marcel sped out of the church to take her advise on the witches. She turned around and blinked with wide eyes as she saw Cami standing at the doorway of the staircase. Maleny swallowed hard as Cami came towards her, the intent of discussing that matter etched all over her face.

~ 0 ~

Night had fallen over the French Quarter and with good news for Davina. She'd been accepted back with the coven and the Harvest Girls. However, Maleny wasn't doing too hot at the moment. She and Cami had a very, very long 'discussion' about Maleny's past.

"This is when we went to camp, remember?" Cami held up a photograph of her younger self and her twin in a forest, "You and I learned how to swim in the coldest lake possible. And yet...you're not here."

Maleny tried taking the photograph but Cami stepped back, more furious than ever, "Cami, I'm sorry. But you really don't understand-"

"Of course I don't understand!" Cami exclaimed, "I don't understand anything! How you're not in any of our photo albums. How you're not even mentioned in the letters my aunt wrote for us...I don't get it."

"I didn't choose any of this, Cami. Davina says someone put a spell on me. It's all very complicated but I didn't want to lie to you."

"The fact is you didn't have sufficient trust in me to tell me what was going on," Cami pointed, "You had the chance and you decided to tell everyone else - even Davinawhom you'd only met for a couple hours, and not me, your family!" tears started to well up in her eyes as she kept going, "I'm human, yes, but I could still help you! I would've done anything to help you! But you didn't trust me..."

"No, that's not true," Maleny began to say but Cami had had enough with everything.

"Actions speak louder than words, Mal, and yours have screamed at me what you thought," with that, Cami went for the suitcase Maleny had left in the corner of her room, "And since you don't trust me, then I don't want you here."

"Cami..."

"I don't want you anywhere near me or uncle Kieran, my uncle Kieran," Cami brought the suitcase up to Maleny, "And don't you dare tell him the truth because that is the last thing he needs right now. Leave, I don't care where you go or what you do, just GO."

"Cami, please," Maleny pleaded but Cami wouldn't listen anymore.

"Get out, Mal," Cami spat the nickname and pushed past her, heading for her own room to await for her 'cousin' to leave her home.

~ 0 ~

Rebekah stood in front of Cami's house later in the night, awaiting for Maleny to come near the window or something to get her attention. She'd been making stops with everyone before she left the city and Maleny was her last one. She wasn't in the mood for a whole talk with Cami as she was sort of in a rush, she didn't want Klaus to have time to regret his deal with her and really come after her again.

Suddenly, she saw Maleny stepping out of the house and so went towards her, only to slowly come to a stop when she saw Maleny's suitcase in hand as well as her bag over her shoulders, "What's...what's going on?"

Maleny was startled to see the blonde at the spot, never really getting news afterwards on what kind of plan had struck between her and Klaus due to her arguments with Cami, "What are you doing here, Rebekah?" she rolled her suitcase behind her as she came up to Rebekah, "And Klaus? Is he okay?"

Rebekah caught the extra concern for her brother and smiled, "He's fine - under what fits," she answered for Maleny's sake, "I came to say goodbye but what are youdoing?" Rebekah's eyes were glued to the suitcase, "You're leaving?"

"Not by choice," Maleny sighed, "Cami found out I lied and, well...she wasn't too happy."

"Understatement, by the looks of it," Rebekah raised her eyebrows, "You got an idea where you're going, then?"

"Um, got a bit of money saved, going for a hotel nearby."

"So you're not leaving the city?"

"No, but apparently you are," Maleny was now staring at the bright red car Rebekah had parked in the street, "Why?"

"Klaus gave me my freedom," Rebekah shrugged, "Definitely took it. It's for the best, too much tension, and..." she sighed with resignation, "...this is the best for both of us."

"I'm sorry," Maleny said quietly, "I thought I could get him to change his mind but I guess I was only kidding myself if I thought I had that kind of power."

"Look, Maleny, I came to say goodbye and give you my number," Rebekah handed over the small piece of paper, "Heard you were caught in a fire and blah, blah, blah, so here's the number again. Give me a call here and then, like our old chats when we were human."

"Then you accept I'm really her?"

Rebekah smiled softly, "Yes, and because of that, I want us to have that friendship again, even if it's through long distance. You and I, we used to be like sisters back then..."

"I remember that," Maleny nodded again as she recalled the several visions she'd seen about them, "We used to share all our secrets with each other, all of them..." she flushed with embarrassment.

"Your biggest one being your love for my brother," Rebekah was sure to remind with a smirk.

"Oh, God," Maleny looked away, even more embarrassed.

"Do you remember what happened to you during that time?" Rebekah wondered genuinely, "Why or how you disappeared?"

Maleny shook her head, "No, it's all still fuzzy but I'm sure the more I work on it the more I'll begin to remember."

"I had suspicions that it could've been Klaus..."

Maleny's eyes widened, "N-n-n-no!" she immediately said, "I know it wasn't him! He...he can't have been," she grew quiet as she thought, "No...I refuse to believe that."

"Do you still love him?" Rebekah also wondered, curious to know if that true sentiment had prolonged throughout the course of time.

"What? I...I don't know," Maleny blushed deeply, one that even Rebekah could see through the dark night and even made her laugh, "It's all too confusing right now. Besides, I think I've hurt his feelings earlier in the day. I'll be lucky if I can walk the street without being cornered."

"Earlier, I'd wanted to start an investigation on your disappearance, my assumed culprit being my brother, but now I'm not so sure..." Rebekah honestly said, "...I think there's more to this than I realized, and perhaps I've judged my brother wrongly. If you've been the women he's repeatedly fell in love with over the centuries then make no doubt that the story will repeat itself again, only this time...try to stick around forever, yeah?"

"I'd love to, but I'm cursed, haven't you heard?" Maleny sighed while Rebekah's eyes widened, "Davina's going to help me, Klaus was going to help me too but now I don't know..."

"You know, I know a place you could stay in...maybe start on that plan," Rebekah smirked, Maleny dreading the plan she was in the dark about.

"Where...?"

"The one place you ought to be from now on," Rebekah declared then grabbed the handle of Maleny's suitcase, "Come along!"

~ 0 ~

Elijah stood in the courtyard of the compound, now a lonesome building without Marcel and his vampires lurking about. Even Hayley had decided to stay with her pack at least until the full moon next month to see if the curse would finally break, thanks to a conjuring of Celeste. He heard footsteps nearing the building which surprised him because, truthfully, she was the last person he expected to see for the night.

He turned to find Maleny standing at the threshold with an apologetic smile and a face stained with tears, "I-I'm sorry...Rebekah, she brought me here," Maleny rubbed the side of her face, "Cami and I, we had an argument...she knows I lied to her and her family so she kicked me out. Rebekah said I should come here and left before I could even say something..."

Elijah looked up to the second level, knowing Klaus was probably already beginning on the drinking and whatnot. He began forming an idea in his mind on just how to help Klaus. He walked up to Maleny with a smile, "I think Rebekah did right," he motioned for the suitcase Maleny held on to.

"But Klaus and I, he's upset with me..." Maleny felt the need to say before Klaus himself turned up to kick her out.

"Believe me, it'll be alright," Elijah assured as he took her suitcase.

Maleny had no choice but to believe him for the moment and began following him up the stairs, hoping to God everything would really work out fine. It had been a long, long time of living this cycle. She just wanted to break the spell and finally be free to live in her own body. Was that too much to ask?

[ralfstrashcan]

3x18 Reaction / Commentary

Anxious feeling of imminent doom in my gut? Check. Skipping breakfast in favor of running to my laptop like a starving person? Check. Chances of surviving this episode with my sanity intact? Uhhh.... Well here goes nothing.

But one more thing before we get started (Does anyone wanna get out? Yeah, me!!!! Okay sorry.)

Who's this mysterious “Alex” person?? A new player on the board???

Alright alright, I'm stalling, I know. It's weird, last week couldn't pass quick enough but now I really don't wanna click the play button... okay anyway you're probably not here to read my angsting, so. Deep breath and here goes.

In terms of putting my nerves at ease this is working out pretty good. I love Becky, okay, and her sibling ship with Simon and the Sneak Peek made me real happy and I can't wait to see more of those two together (especially considering this'll probably be her last appearance on the show). So, yeah Team Lewis! (Also that comment about them and Clary never missing a Halloween together? I need all the kid fics!!!)

Lol dude I mean you literally died for knowing about it, but sure, make an understatement XD Also, “all the way from Florida”??? Last thing I knew about her she was lying in a hospital bed a week ago (aka 3A)? When did she get released? And relocated? I missed that???

:D :D :D <3<3<3

Queen Izzy :))))))) btw those kids had seriously lacking survival skills if you ask me. That wasn't normal, right? And where were their supervisors??

Effing f-i-n-a-l-l-y.

Also, Magnus with the deflecting again as soon as he's recovered just the tiniest bit is both painfully ic and also just painful </3

Ugh, can you believe Clace entered the Malec scene even though they must have felt it was a bad time and deranged it with their flirting? Unfair. In any case I agree, Clary was always and will always be an idiot XD haha okay sorry, I don't really mean that (only like, 83%) it's just the setup was too good to pass it up ;) I mean even Alec laughed at Jace calling her an idiot so I'm well within my rights to do it, too XD

Thanks, Alec, for sabotaging the one shot at open communication you had. I mean, I want to believe he does it because he realizes Magnus is back to his deflecting self and prodding will get him nowhere, but uhm, could he try for longer than three seconds before giving up? Is he really gonna let Magnus off the hook so easily and do something stupid and reckless instead?? *sigh* BUT ALSO HIS FRAKKING FACE OKAY I CAN'T

“Back from the Plot Fold”

Alec “Tact” Lightwood looooool

“Bitch I worked on this performance for centuries how dare you”

SO. MANY. QUESTIONS.

sdfshfsjdkfjsdf I love the way he talks okay. Exquisite. (Also he has a birthmark on his lip. It's really distracting. Am I implying Asmodeus is hot? Maybe. You can't prove a thing.)

............................................................your self-confident didn't make any progress since season 1, did it, Alec? *sigh* I mean he's basically agreeing with Asmodeus that this is what will happen if their situation doesn't change.

Okay what is structure, let me just yell my impressions of this scene at you. 1) Both of their acting is stellar. Love all the little body language cues, especially Asmodeus's mocking facial expressions. 2) “Return what you stole” and Asmodeus protesting it because clearly he had a “fair deal” with Magnus. 3) Alec breaking eye contact whenever Asmodeus lands a hit (“One he already regrets.” “You make him vulnerable, weak.”) 4) The fact that Alec protests the potential-line with “We love each other.” I was confused at first but when you think about it Alec says that they help each other access their full potential by loving each other and that's a beautiful sentiment. 5) Of course then Asmodeus lands another hit with “Then I'm afraid you will be the death of him” and Alec is back to looking away.

Thank you, Alec, for not being a total idiot.

“...or else the deal is off.” Obviously. Thank you, Asmodeus, for not being a total idiot either.

.........did he just nod? I knew I was right making that 'total' italic, implying he's still somewhat of an idiot XD

sooooo pretttyyyyyyyyyyyyy

And I can't believed Clary missed Luke so much she visited him in prison a total of 0 times.

Look I'm weak and I dig the Jace-Luke-father-son-in-law-dynamic.

Also can we take a moment to appreciate the fact that Alec is able to function as Head of the Institue even though he has to make the hardest decision of his life at the same time?? Just saying. Guy knows how to handle his shadowhunter responsibility. If only he was as capable in handling other things and omg this is not an innuendo you naughty people, I meant emotional intelligence goddammit.

I mean, he's not wrong? The way he cares about her is uniquely twisted, so.

.........................is Alec having 2x12 flashbacks? Because I sure am.

Hmmmm always admiring Clary's screaming skills :)

*sigh* I mean she didn't just SAY intense pain for a short while? Why am I even bothering.

The scientist has spoken lol.

1) They had a whole underground basement full of tons and tons of that serum, right? If those are all made up of nanoparticles then I really really wonder how big the Glorious splitter was that they extracted the serum from. Since, you know, that whole stash was supposed to be enough for the Downworlders all over the world. Wtf 2) I guess “self-destructing” that basement is gonna come back to roost them and they need to recover the original sword to eliminate the Evil Rune, right???? haha

Asmodeus wrote: Hurry up pretty boy, our deal isn't on the table forever ;)

I'm actually impressed Jace remembered to ask Alec about the proposal. You get some more diligence starlets, Jace <3

OMG ALEC ARE YOU SHITTING ME ARE YOU SHITTING ME ARE YOU SHITTING ME *sigh* I mean, those two situations are obviously totally comparable, right? I for my part am, again, having severe 2x12 flashbacks, where Alec asked Jace's council about something that Jace totally wasn't equipped to answer. *SIGH*

And I guess Jace isn't suspicious because of Alec's super suspicious behavior, right?????? Ugh.

The sad part is, Alec will probably see that as confirmation that he should go through with it because he doesn't want to be selfish. So while yay, Alec seeking council, he does it in the worst way possible :( at least I got some parabatai feels out of it :/

On the one hand I'm glad she sees it that way* on the other hand this is clearly supposed to be the influence of the rune, so that's kinda undermining her statement and making it even less credible. Thanks, show.

*Yes he was a victim, no he still carries some responsibility for his actions because free will is a thing and he's had some time on earth where he wasn't exactly coerced by anyone. Manipulated, yes. But he's aware of his agency and he should have used it better. I get that I'm asking for a lot here, maybe too much, and circumstances were always against him, but I'm also not absolving him of all his crimes.

Magnus deflecting because that's what he does. God forbid a scene that could be about him actually ends up being about him instead of a side pairing I couldn't care less about. *sigh*

Also, I'm not exactly sure if Magnus really thinks Alec thought being around Maryse could help him, or if he just said that as another means to deflect because honestly, the way Alec suggested to Magnus he go to Maryse was more the here-go-see-your-babysitter-approach than anything else, especially because he basically cut of the conversation they where having before Clace interrupted. *SIGH*

WELL I COULD

YOU NO FRIKKIN SAY, MARYSE

“My lips are sealed.... especially about my issues ¯\_(ツ)_/¯”

THE DISDAIN AHAHHAHAHA CATCH ME WHEEZING ON THE GROUND

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!SEELIE QUEEN IS QUEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Is this.... actually......... a scene with Alec and Izzy???? HELL YEAH

Okay, words. First off, I LOVE that Alec spills all the beans, and to Izzy, the one emotionally capable Lightwood. I mean, yay Jalec and all, but it's an universally acknowledged truth that Lightwood Men seem to be pretty unable to handle their emotions in a productive way.

Second off, the music playing in the background? Is the one from the Malec Breakup Scene from 2x18. Yay mood reference, I mean. Thanks for that lovely detail, show. (Hahahaha I don't even know if I'm sarcastic or not because it's so witty but on the other hand it's just cruelly twisting the knife like r u for real man give me a damn break.)

Third off, I love basically every line of this dialogue. The fact that Alec (or anyone really) FINALLY acknowledges that Magnus gave up his powers and saved Jace for Alec. Alec's argument: “Magnus sacrificed everything so I could feel whole and now I have the chance to do the same for him.” Also that wording, “a chance”? Not an obligation, not a repayment of a dept. A chance. Because he loves Magnus and this is his chance to fix it. (In his eyes at least, pssssh.)

And Izzy's intent “He wouldn't want this. He loves you so much.” So valid. And less biased (aka skewed by shitty self-esteem) than Alec's assessment of the situation.

Also this

Ouch, just. Ouch. So ic.

Also this

Izzy asking all the right questions. The way Alec looks away means “No” and the determined way he meets her gaze again after means “But that doesn't matter.” Very good scene.

(Honestly the only thing I would have wished for is that Izzy is a little more firm in her assertion that Magnus wouldn't want this and she like, tries to change Alec's mind instead of just accepting his decision.)

hehehe :)

The same time you moved to Florida apparently.

hahaahahha <3<3<3 kick-ass sister material

.........<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3 this deserves so much recognition okay. Since we all know drinking away his problems is Magnus's No 1 coping mechanism. Too bad he'll be pushed into his liquor again by Alec unwisely breaking up with him at the end of the episode (because I daren't dream of a change of heart on Alec's side.)

Also is this the part where Maryse blabs out Alec's proposal plans??

Ugh yay, so after Maryse reassuring Magnus that they are all here for him I guess the breakup is just gonna get 5 shades uglier. Yaaay.

Love that necklace damn.

Obligatory Sizzy moment in front of Becky so she can call Simon out on it later: Check. Just glad this role doesn't fall to Raphael. (Also you bet your ass I chose Becky's line as a picture for this because I'm really that petty.)

Also omg, I just peeked into the German dubbing because obviously the Count von Count pun doesn't work because the words for Count and the word for counting aren't the same here and the guy is named Graf Zahl. And just skdjfslkdjfklsdjfkld Simon's line “That does sound really made up” is honest to God transated with “You're right, I just made him up” like oh my God who is in charge of translating this and why are they so incompetent honestly!!!!!!!! W H Y

Lol that's gotta be the first time in his life that he called her Isabelle. Probably because she was slacking off during patrol.

AAAAAND I'M WHEEZING AGAIN AHAHHA HER OFFENDED FACE Honestly the seelie queen and Becky should start a comedy spin-off, I'd be watching the shit out of that XD

HAHAHAHAH HAVE MERCY XD XD XD Then again, can you blame Simon? Izzy is sooooo droolworthy.

1) She's gonna let Alec, Jace and Clary (two and a half shadowhunters ahaha) take on a whole nest of demons alone? Instead of backing them up? Okay???

2) Why they telling them that??? As far as they are concerned Simon and Becky are civilians, not their parents.

?????? NO SHE SHOULD TAKE BECKY WITH HER!!!!!!!! CAN YOU IMAGINE BECKY TOURING THE INSTITUTE? BECKY MARVELING AT ALL THE UNREALISTIC SHADOWHUNTER TECH?? BECKY KIDDING AROUND IN THE LAB??? I WAS ROBBED!!!

:)))) even Jace breaking out the comedy :D :D :D I approve

Those are some nice wings. Not perfect, but very very nice.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME HAHAHAHAHAHAH

Okay, Parabatai Fight Scene!!! 1) Jace again with his axes, nice.

2) Being sassy instead of, idk, picking up his weapons: Check.

3) True dat, but uh, Jace, what was the plan if Alec hadn't shown up? Inviting Drevak Queen out on a date?

4) I mean, why shoot one when you can shoot five, right? Good motto. But I still kind of want an explanation how two of those arrows could land in the Drevak Queen's head and the other three in her chest, like, what are physics anyway amiright?

5) Shot meant to make Jace look heroic when really, since we earlier learnt that killing the Drevak Queen kills all her spawn*, this was just Alec doing Jace's work for him XD

*Uh, yeah what the hell is up with that. Chitauri Genetic Defect or something? *sigh*

*Feelings of terrible foreboding intensify*

sssssssssssssssssssssssudden

Look, I agree. I just don't think Maia could really comprehend / accept that so fast (and off-screen) because ugh reasons, too tired to repeat myself again *waves hand unhelpfully* but whatever, I can accept this. I made my peace with it.

1) Last time I checked those cells were secured with a combination lock thingy.

2) Thanks Lanaia for sabotaging Sizzy, I'll be sure to send you a gift basket (or, if what I think will happen happens, some flowers for your grave lol).

*snorts* Reminds me of Hannibal who was always making cannibal puns at people and no one noticed XD Also, her knocking Jace out was really dumb? I mean, he wouldn't have stopped her from saving Jonathan because, uh, that's saving her own neck, too. And if she'd portaled them both to the cell she could have disposed of him there way easier, locking him up – since apparently she didn't plan to kill him, and that nice straightjacket would have kept him from alerting the other Shadowhunters way longer than that pipe over the head. So, wholly unnecessary. I mean, in a way it's nice to know that Demonic Clary isn't smarter than Regular Clary.

Dude she's literally wielding a spear, how dumb are you.

Aaaaaand there goes my order to the nearest funeral wreath shop XD

Look I have questions (which, okay, I should have asked sooner but what even is continuity right). When that weird gratifying wing dream sequence started I thought it was Clary tapping into the rune connection and it was the real Jonathan communicating with her. When Jace entered the play field it was clear at least some part must be fake because Jace sure as heck wasn't unconscious / in trance at the time and later didn't give any indication that he participated in some creepy contest for Clary's affections. But now Jonathan is surprised by this, too? He, too, was a product of Clary's imagination? I have so many questions, first of all, why the wings? And the really cheap back-white-symbolism? Also, why did Clary feel so drawn to Jonathan if this was all in her own mind? Was it the influence of the Evil Rune? Does the Evil Rune have a user interface that's shaped to look like Jonathan? Does that mean Jonathan has a Clary-shaped interface??? I need answers.

Ugh. Let's make this long and painful, shall we.

OF COURSE IN THE ONE SCENE WHERE SHIT WILL GO DOWN THEY DON'T FAIL AT CASUAL INTIMACY THANK YOU FOR  N O T H I N G

Let's not talk about the fact that the thought, Alec could mean anything but a break together from everything that's been going on, doesn't even cross Magnus's mind because no. Noooooo. I'd rather talk about how absolutey awesome both of their acting is. For Alec I really like the way he moves his eyes, like the gaze darting around alternating with the rigid stare. For Magnus, uh, everything, just like, his whole face is perfection?? Yeah, that works.

The way he interrupts because he just needs to get this over with as quickly as possible.

Dammit, he does this eyelid dip here, it's not a blink, it's just his eyelids twitching down for a second because this is like a slap in the face. And then he turns and takes a step away because his instinct is to run from this because what is this, this can't be

“Is this about last night? Because I'm going to quit drinking.”

Magnus “forever apologizing for being an 'inconvenience'” Bane, final installment.

Dammit, his face. And again with the deflecting, trivializing his feelings, anything to keep this conversation from going where he thinks it's going.

*EYE ROLL* Sorry but you don't get to play that card after being effin obtuse for 7 episodes, Alec. Nope. Nope.

Magnus, his usual walls rudely ripped away. He has no chance but to admit how shitty he's feeling. And if it wasn't for the circumstances I'd say “yay, finally some communication” but well.

“Fine. I'm in pain,” he says, and Alec turns away, breaking eye contact for a moment because the final confirmation is too much for him for a moment.

I love that Magnus doesn't deliver this line meekly. He's worked up, sure, but there's also a confidence when talking about their relationship. Breaking up is an unrealistic concept to him in that moment because it's so absurd. It's not fixing anything so why would it happen? Makes no sense. *insert weeping sounds*

Brutal and efficient. Very ic.

Damn how does even his blink convey so much vulnerability??? (Somewhere Lexa is nodding approvingly.) (Also why didn't I find gif sets of this :c)

“You said there's nothing I can do to make it better.”

There's an audible difference in his voice, because this part is true and he's not lying. The controlled monotone isn't there anymore. This is his real despair in the face of not being able to do anything to help Magnus.

“It's not your job to make it better.”

Again, if this was a constructive conversation it would be a great step in the right direction. But sadly it isn't, and so this is too little too late.

“Well, what am I supposed to do? Just stand by and watch you suffer for the rest of our lives?”

Alec is still speaking the truth, and this is his motivation to go through with it. Because a) he believes what Magnus said about never being happy again without his magic (sidenote, he didn't, in fact, say that, he said it might never pass (meaning being affected by the magic loss) and he's not happy at the moment, which isn't the same as he'll definitely surely never be happy again without his magic, but whatever) and b) he's sure he doesn't mean all that much to Magnus. He's his current love, but that's about it. Nothing special, not worth leaving such devastating traces in Magnus's life and he certainly doesn't mean as much to Magnus as Magnus means to him. And especially from that second part stems his gravely false assessment of the situation which in the course of consideration leads him to the conclusion that breaking Magnus's heart will hurt less in the long run than him not having his magic. There's also the fact that be probably didn't think about how him doing this to Magnus will confirm every last insecurity Magnus ever had about not being lovable, because I can't believe he would have gone through with this if he'd thought of that. Or at least, he would have been visibly more torn about it, maybe even talked out of it by Izzy, etc. But it's ic for Alec not to think like that, because in a way I guess he loves Magnus too much to really understand that Magnus has these doubts. And Magnus mostly playing his vulnerabilities close to his chest isn't working in his favor here either.

“This isn't you. You're not this selfish.”

This is what I mean. If Alec was less convinced that he's doing the right thing this line might have shaken him out of it. Honestly, I half hoped he'd object this, consequentally incriminate himself and Magnus would catch on that something was going on. But ofc that didn't happen.

The spark line, just. Ouch. Again, very clinical and minimalistc. The way Alec stares, his voice back to being monotone, the way he clenches his jaw. And then his work here is done and he's ready to leave.

It only gets worse from there. Magnus, frozen in disbelieve because this can't possibly be true, and then he starts begging and it breaks my heart every single time okay. To see him reduced to this desperation is just cruel.

I still can't help but note the way Alec readily turns around before Magnus has competely turned around himself. I think he was on the brink of giving in.

The way Magnus holds on to him, hands fluttering over his arms, shoulders, cheeks. The way Alec can't even look at him for the barest second, eyes closed, breath going heavy. Magnus's everything. Just kill me now.

And let's not talk about their kisses and Magnus's whispered words because no. There's nothing to say to that except perfection. Intense, top notch emotion portrayal on both parts.

Then Alec pulls away (how???? gotta admire commitment and an iron will when you see it but boy is it misplaced) and Magnus's hands tremble because this can't be happening, this can't possibly be real.

Note that Alec doesn't look him in the eyes once because he knows if he did, it'd all be over. Also note the look of utter betrayal on Magnus's face. It's not just hurt and heartbreak, it's betrayal because this is what this is. Alec promised him something, made him believe that he could trust in him, in them, and now he's going back on his word.

Well, this was fun, let's never do it again.

Look, I don't have the nerve for this anymore, so I'll keep it short and in no particular order: - Asmodeus is ass powerful and manages to distance-summon himself, yay, nice to know that the one time a shadowhunter doesn't act stupid and impulsive it still doesn't pay off. - Asmodeus killing pissed off warlock lady was both obvious and unnecessary. - His smile is creepy. - “My son needs me.” MY ASS - He still needs to support himself on the back of the chair because he's a weak bitch hahaha.

Conclusion: *sounds of despair*

I just watched the 3x19 promo and.... they're really gonna end Malec on a train wreck this season, aren't they?? Oh God. They hoped they'd have a forth season to work through it and that's why they served themselves with issues and second helpings of extra issues, and since s4 isn't a thing we're gonna get an unsatisfying as hell 2x20-style resolution in the finale. God please say I'm wrong but like. Arrgghhhh.

(Also, credit where credit is due: “Before we get started, does anyone wanna get out?” is the line from Captain America in TWS before the elevator fight.)

[randomnumbers751650]

So, I'm writing this because I'm trying to understand psychological horror, focusing on two animes from last year: Angels of Death and Happy Sugar Life. I wanted to write this because I got inspired by discussions on the Netflix's Ted Bundy show, Explanation Point's video on HSL (which made me watch it), and because I made the mistake of reading AoD's prequel manga Episode 0. Spoilers abound.

Due to way I was raised, I have difficulty in understanding stories that villains are the protagonists. Why would anyone cheer for them? Sure, there are many logical arguments, like the attempt to understand how his mind works and the cathartic feeling of being able to do feelings you know you'd be wrong. I have a RP blog and I once talked to with a friend on trying to understand how musing an utterly despicable muse could be so cathartic and she wondered if it's because it allows her to vent her stress and negative feelings on fictional characters, instead of real people. Logically, it makes sense, but I still feel odd about it.

I first watched Angels of Death because I really enjoyed the portrayal one of my best friends in the RPC had of the protagonist, Rachel Gardner. I honestly think it was a well-written anime, Rachel telling Zack that they weren't tools and the climax with the building on fire were my favorite moments. AoD also had a great advantage because it was self-aware, the banter between Rachel and Zack was pretty hilarious, and Cathy and Danny were also evilly funny. I always wondered how AoD managed to get to be an anime and Ib not...

Also, another thing that AoD makes sure to show is that every single named member of the cast is a murderer, and the man behind everything judges himself God for the sake of an experiment. It shows Zack murdering people in flashbacks and enjoying every single minute of it. In fact, the biggest plot twist is that the apparently innocent Rachel is probably the most dangerous murderer of them, the moment when she tries to kill Zack in her floor was a moment that actually got me on the edge of my seat (said event was properly foreshadowed).

When I say all characters of AoD are well-written, I say this in a "technical" sense - given their backstories, they act in a way consistent to what they are. Zack had a really crappy childhood and turned into a murderer; Danny was bullied and indirectly caused his mother's suicide; Cathy is subconsciously guided by a desire to punish sinners that caused her parents' death; Eddie was rejected so hard that he saw killing what he liked as the only way to preserve; and Rachel also had a crappy childhood, but parents who hated each other and killing her father in self-defense just broke her, her emotionless insanity is what guides her death wish (funnily enough, it doesn't seem that Gray has anything but a god complex). In other words, while they might be nearly a caricature, they still show to act on motives that make sense for them.

The question that guides the series is "what does it mean to be human?" In the end, we all want to avoid loneliness, as Gray says to Danny while the building explodes. Danny had a really pathetic death - he was a "love to hate" villain, even if he had a childhood excuse, nowhere implies that we should sympathize with him, on the contrary, he's one of the creepiest waste of air type of characters - if we showed his portrait in the game, one could put a sub "Most Likely to be a Pedophile").

But then I decided to read the prequel manga. I hated it. A lot. The characters are nothing but violent dicks to each other, in a grand scheme to get the role of "angel" in Gray's experiment (I used to muse Dr. Danny in my RP blog, it was fun to protray him as a pathetic peepermaniac, but I lost my drive after it). It doesn't try to be nuanced or anything else, but I guess if the objective was to remind us that the characters were murderous scum, it succeeded. The effect was so bad on me, that made me question the entire point of AoD itself.

I thought about this for a while. In Aod, we're basically siding with two murderers and Zack's popularity is immense, he's a Chad of murderers. The question is why?

It would be easy to dismiss his popularity as an example of the "bad boy fantasy", mostly associated with women who latches on a "bad boy" type in hopes of "fixing him", but that alone is insufficient to explain (and although it's usually recognized as a 'feminine fantasy', I want to avoid any implication of sexism, even though I don’t doubt this has been discussed in woman’s studies).

At point a friend of mine linked me Explanation Point's video on Happy Sugar Life. Why is Satou, a murderer and near pedophile (near pedophile because she doesn't engage in actual sexual activities with Shio, but it's not less disturbing), a sympathetic character? I won't recap the entire video here, but Satou is sympathetic because of many factors, such as the fact almost everyone around her is worse (arrogant rapist manager, sadomasochist actual ebebophile Danny's long lost brother, lolicon, an actual succubus in human form, obssessed copycat stalker, mad artist - the only developed characters that save themselves are Shoko and Asahi (and not 100% in his case, his determination was his downfall) - I honestly dislike Shio because she's annoying), had a crappy childhood, and that she seems sincere in her feelings for Shio.

The issue, in the end, it's about the way it's framed. Lindsay Ellis has a pretty good video on framing, on explaining how Mikaela actually had potential to be a well-written character in the first Michael Bay’s Transformers movie, but it was ruined by the way she was framed - as mere fanservice, instead of a strong character. The same principle applies to Happy Sugar Life, just pay attention to the way Satou is framed, as a strong character, in “pure” love, flowers appears on the screen when she’s thinking of Shio.

Framing is one reason why HSL failed or, at least, lost a part of its power as a cautionary tale. In the last episode, the way her imagination exploded with images of what her happy life with Shio could be, sprinkled by sappy imagery. Even if Satou killed herself to save Shio as a way to defy her aunt, it still gives a mixed message.

If we apply EP’s argument on Satou to Zack, I think we have even better “case” for Zack. Let’s count the reasons why one should sympathize with Zack:

Antagonists (Danny and Cathy) are worse people

Strong and powerful, to the point of turning into a shonen protagonist when cutting rocks in the last episode

Has a code of honor, only kills people who are laughing

Has standards, refuses to accept godhood from Rachel

Enjoys what he does, he’s probably the most sincere character of the cast

Has a twisted sense of humor

Has a sad backstory, that offered the chance of following another path (but the old man died)

Recognizes he’s messed up

Ridiculously loyal to Ray in the end

We never get to see the PoV of his victims and when we do, the frame actually makes Zack sympathetic - for example, the woman in his flashback, we see her lying to him and him killing her for it - it’s a bad thing, but the scene is framed in a way that Zack is the offended party (it was his PoV anyway)

He’s hot - granted this only works for the anime, because in the game he was some sort of tall mummy gremlin

As another friend of mine said, when I brought this to her, in the end you’re kind of cheering for them to escape police and continue murdering others. And, in the end, they do get away - Zack (and Ray, to some extent) is never punished for his crimes, even though the ending is ambiguous most people believe they escaped anyway.

In HSL we have a similar situation: even though Satou killed herself, Shio is still irreparably damaged, preferring to live her “happy sugar life” in her head than the real world. In fact, HSL’s ending is one of the most hopeless that I’ve ever seen recently, that the entire surviving cast is apparently beyond repair (as worse as Shio worse is Taiyo - it’s quite rare to portray female on male abuse on such a realistic way, any other anime would make a semi-hentai scenario on him, but here, I wouldn’t be surprise if he died starving himself to death in his room). HSL’s ending managed to be much more hopeless than AoD’s ending.

But, returning to Zack, the way his story is framed makes him a sympathetic character. However, while I argue that Zack is a well-written character, he’s not a very realistic one for one simple reason: he’s too conspicuous to be a successful serial killer, he’s too loud and messy; actual serial killers are methodic people, they plan a lot to not leave clues. Meanwhile, Zack is dumb as a rock, which might add him being an escapist character another trait of him.

And that’s where the comparison with Ted Bundy enters. It might be a stretch comparing a fictional character with a real person, but I still think it has some merit. While I haven’t seen the Netflix series, I read the debate on whether it glorifies Bundy or not. Basically the way the series frames Bundy is an argument for the glorification, but the interview with the victims who escaped him and loved ones of his victims is an argument against it. But the fact remains that both have their fans.

If we criticize Bundy’s fans for not noticing how much of a pathetic and deranged person he actually was, why can’t we do the same for Zack’s fans? Well the fact that one is real and the other fictional might be one reason, and being fictional he acts as an outlet for our own frustrations and tendencies just as I discussed with my friend above, but I feel that alone is insufficient, there must be a further reason... but I can’t think of anything else. Otherwise an argument has the danger of turning into the fallacy “videogames make kids violent” sort of thing.

One thing that has to consider is that both AoD and HSL are psychological thriller/horror series. If Zack, Ray and Satou got caught, the shows would be lesser works of art, because one function of psychological horror is to challenge our perceptions of justice.

Horror challenges our perceptions of safety and we are used to the bad guys being punished in the end, it’s a safe assumption. Instead, in horror, the bad guys get away and might be sympathetic, making us sympathetic to their getaway. It’s horror in the sense our own safe perceptions of morality and justice are twisted upside down.

I could go on and approach the thorny question of whether AoD glorifies murderers and HSL glorifies yanderes with children, but this essay is already getting too big, so I leave it for another occasion.