#she had to become who she is to survive her prison | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

xwritingdixonx · 1 year ago

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Is It Better To Speak or To Die? | Daryl Dixon |

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Masterlist

Summary: After being rescued from Woodbury by Rick's group, you struggle with living a "normal" life in the walls of the prison. The trauma's inflicted on you at the hands of the Govenour drag you to the deepest depths. A certain archer is the onyl one who can drag you back out.

Warnings: slow burn, language, smoking, grief, depression, talk of body scars, implied smut, implied past abuse, Governor (enough said)

Word Count: aprox. 10k

Era: Prison, Alexandria.

Song Recommendation: Cinnamon Girl - Lana Del Ray, Would That I - Hozier

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The survivors of Woodbury had called The Prison “home” for only a week. The war and downfall of the Governor and Woodbury were still fresh in everyone’s gut, though others were making themselves comfortable very quickly. You were not. It was such an irony to you. Taking shelter in a prison as if this world wasn’t a prison. As if the traumas of the past year of survival didn’t hold you by your throat. Your own mental prison.

The bowl you held still warmed your hands. Though you knew no appetite arose in your stomach, you still took the bowl Carol offered just to be polite. Standing alone, your back leaned against the support beam of the gazebo all the benches sat under for meals. You had been a part of Woodbury...but you certainly hadn’t been a part of the community. Not near the end at least.

Most people steered clear of you. Avoiding your tired hardened eyes and threatening gazes. Avoiding the tenseness in your persona. Completely removing themselves from the possibility of having an interaction with the emotionless shell you had become. Others were compassionate, showing you any empathy they could bear. You’d get a polite head nod and warm smile occasionally, though you never returned it.

In Woodbury, no one asked questions, they talked and gossiped amongst one another but never bothered. But at the prison, you were new. Fresh meat. So in turn, you had your fair share of stares and whispers from Rick’s group.

Carol had become your latest bother. In the mornings, just like today, people would slowly make their way to line up for their share of breakfast. Your desire was to simply come out in the crisp morning air and smoke a cigarette, attempting to forget the night of terrors you encountered when you closed your eyes. You’d be sure to isolate yourself a bit away so the smoke didn’t bother anyone’s morning. But Carol simply wouldn’t accept it.

The last few days she’d noticed the lack of breakfast passing your lips. You’d smoke a cigarette and then wait to eat a proper meal for dinner. Reminding her of another certain someone.

She couldn’t make you line up and wait like everyone else. She couldn’t make you come and sit at a table and be social. So, she’d make you your own bowl and walk it over to you, giving you a polite smile, and then walk away. She did this for the past 3 days, catching onto your pattern early on.

“How’s she doing?” Rick drawled as Carol handed him his own bowl of powdered eggs and steamed potatoes. “Can bring a horse to water but you can’t make ‘em drink.” Carol joked back, Rick nodded in response and thanked her for his bowl.

Rick had been keeping an eye on you ever since you’d arrived. Unlike most of Woodbury, who willingly came running out to be rescued, you were found by Rick. The door to the room he found you in had been locked from the outside.

Everything he found out about you from that point had been from the mouths of others. You hadn’t even used words to tell him your name, he had been told by someone else. “Morning.” Rick greeted Daryl who was already almost finished his own breakfast, “Mornin’.” He stood with Daryl, neither of the men having time to sit with all the plans to improve the prison.

Daryl followed Rick’s gaze, noticing the way Rick seemed to be lost in thought. When the gaze ended on you, Daryl scoffed. “Figured that one out yet?” He asked, shoving a spoon of egg in his mouth. “Not yet.” Daryl had tried himself to scramble for puzzle pieces of you but had no success. You didn’t talk. Not a word, not even a whisper. There was a part of him that was intrigued by you, a part of him that wanted to dissect. But there was the other part that told him to mind his business.

“Good morning.” Riley begins to pass by, greeting Rick and Daryl. If the term Southern Bell was a person, that would be Riley. Blonde hair, dark emerald eyes, sweet smile, curvy in all the right places, and a smooth southern drawl. Smooth and sweet, nothing like your jagged sharp edges. Riley had been brought in with the Woodbury group and quickly made herself useful in running her mouth…but also in learning medical. “Morning.” Riley’s green eyes darted in the direction the men were looking. Because how dare their attention be on anyone but her.

“I feel so bad for her…” She commented, putting herself into their conversation. Rick and Daryl both gave each other a glance. Rick wanted to know about you from you. Not from the gossip and storytelling of others. “I swear it’s like her mouth was sewn into a frown when Jackson died.” Riley actually looked quite empathetic when she said this. “Who was that?”

“Her twin brother.”

Rick took a pause from eating his breakfast to let this new information marinate into his brain. Though neither of them asked for it, Riley continued. “When they first got to Woodbury, everything was fine. But then the Governor wanted Y/n to be one of his soldiers.” Using air quotations at the word soldiers.

“Y/n refused over and over. One night, Governor took Y/n and Jackson for a walk outside of Woodbury’s walls and Jackson didn’t come back…Governor said he got bit but…” Riley’s words trailed off as she looked at your stone-like features. “Y/n joined him after that…some people thought he killed Jackson and used it to force her to.” Her tone was uneasy as if the Governor would come to get her if she dared speak of it.

Or maybe she was more afraid of you.

“After that, I mean..” Riley scoffed dramatically and tried to ease the tension with a laugh, “I-I shouldn’t be talking about this anyway.” She gave the men a sheepish smile before swiftly walking away, joining a full table.

"Forgot how much people love to gossip huh?"

"Hmm," Daryl hummed in response. Rick took Daryl's empty bowl and stacked it on his own. "Gonna go give Judy her breakfast, alright?" As he nudged Daryl with his elbow, Daryl responded with a hum that was accompanied by a nod.

Daryl had learned the art of minding his business a long time ago. He didn't want people in his...so why pry into others?

You had finished your cigarette and smushed it into the concrete under your boot, now aimlessly poking around in the texture of the oatmeal. Carol frequently cooked her oatmeal for a tad too long and with too much liquid, giving it a mushy, snot like texture. It gave you another reason to skip out on breakfast but you at least wanted to try.

Daryl watched as you took a bite from the bowl. You moved around the food in your mouth, chewing slowly. The texture on your tongue was enough to turn you away. You looked in the direction of the bench where all of the younger children sat. Some talking with food still in their mouths. Their chattering stopped when they saw you approach like a dark gloomy cloud threatening rain.

Without saying a word, you placed your bowl in front of Patrick, offering him your share. Behind his thick glasses, he looked at the bowl then at you, and smiled. “Thanks Y/n.” You replied with a nod and walked away. Patrick was one of the few people from Woodbury who was consistently kind to you. He was always polite and never treated you any differently. You had actually heard him defend your name more than once. Perhaps he was just too young to feed into it but it was an act that didn’t go unappreciated by you.

And your act towards Patrick hadn’t gone unnoticed by Daryl. It wasn’t as if you had saved his life but you could’ve thrown your share away. Snuck over to the pig's pen and scraped it in. Instead, you gave it to a child.

Daryl would be lying to himself if he said he wasn't intrigued by you. He had never been intrigued by anyone in his life, though he couldn't deny the itch that was the mystery of you.

Two mornings after that one, Daryl had woken up particularly early. Readying himself to go outside the fences. There was a steady whisper amongst his friends the true reason he wondered out of the safety of the prison walls. The thought of The Governor still being alive haunted Daryl’s mind as it did the others. But no one would do what he did nearly every morning. No one except you.

Not many were typically up at this hour. The sun had barely risen and the morning air was still chilly from the night. When Daryl walked out into the courtyard, he didn’t expect to see you. He knew you were typically up earlier than others but not as early as him, not on days like this. You sat on the top of a picnic bench, feet planted where someone would typically sit. You faced away from Daryl but he could see the puff of smoke that typically followed you.

He could tell you weren’t in your typical nature. Despite the circumstances, you typically kept yourself put together. You wore a black long-sleeve fitted to your body and a pair of old gray sweatpants. Your hair was untamed and frizzy, having not been brushed yet. What had you up this early? What had you out of your cell so disheveled? And obviously, in such a rush?

The drag of the cigarette burned the back of your throat. It wasn’t as if you actually enjoyed smoking them. They tasted bad, itched your throat, and the smoke made your eyes water. But it felt as if holding them stopped your hands from shaking so badly every morning. It didn’t. But you’d keep lying to yourself and saying it did. You had woken up from another devilish dream, jolting you awake with a rapid heart and heavy breathing.

Typically you’d sit on the edge of your bed, head in your hands until your heart rate returned to normal. But on this particular morning, you couldn’t sit any longer in those walls, feeling the tightness of their build.

“Mornin.” He greeted you. What was he doing? Why was he even over here? Daryl’s mind ran with thoughts and questions as he awkwardly disrupted your own running mind.

You glanced over at him, your eyebrows furrowing with confusion. Someone disrupting you at this time wasn’t expected. As soon as Daryl saw the harsh glare hit your features, he regretted his decision. He didn’t know what to say to you or what he was doing. Both of your heads turned at the sound of a door shutting, Carol lugging a big pot over to the serving table.

“Carol’s gonna start setting up soon…if ya wanna get outta here.” Your eyes followed Carol for a second before meeting Daryl’s.

Daryl had never seen you face to face, he’d never even spoken a word to you. Your initial glare wore off your face and you gave Daryl a single nod, standing up from the bench. Daryl caught his bottom lip and nervously chewed at it. “M’going…out” Daryl pointed in the direction of the woods, “If ya wanna come.” You glanced between Daryl and the woods and thought for a second before giving him a proper nod.

“Alright. I’ll wait for ya at the gate with my bike.”

It didn’t take long for you to meet Daryl. You’d switched your pants out with jeans and your bare feet with boots. Accompanied with your backpack and a pair of fingerless gloves to fight the chilly morning. You had obviously run a comb through your hair as well.

Daryl appreciated the space you gave him on the bike. You sat an inch or two back, your arms loose around him. Typically when people rode with him they held on tight, maybe a little too tight and too close for Daryl’s comfort, but you didn’t. A steady routine had been built between you and the archer after that morning. Along with a growing friendship.

Carol had picked up on this growing routine. By the fourth day, she began waking up even earlier, packing both of you lunches and a snack as if she were a mother sending her children to school.

The first few days your silence made Daryl uneasy. But soon, he actually began to enjoy your company. He even enjoyed your silence. It came in handy when he was tracking a deer or bunny.

The two of you had created your own language of looks, touches, and whistles. One morning you had gotten separated from Daryl while tracking and the song of the whistle was born.

The once colorful leaves were now a dirty brown and crunched awfully loud when you stepped on them. The early Fall months were slowly becoming even colder which meant being on the lookout for anything edible became far more important. Especially meat. Daryl had begun to teach you how to track on your own, which meant the two of you could cover more ground on the same hunt.

Your footsteps were steady and quiet, your eyes trained on the consistent tussle of the leaves. There was a specific herd of deer that had been on Daryl’s radar that he’d spotted a few mornings ago. Daryl walked a few feet behind you, checking that the tracks you eyed were accurate.

The leaves began to blend together, and the steady path you found was now lost from your sight. You kneeled down and dug the leaves away from the ground hoping the tracks would be embedded in the dirt. But the ground was too cold and dense to be marked with anything. It was when you turned to face Daryl and accept your defeat that he was no longer there.

A sense of panic seized through you. Your eyes scanned around the surrounding tree lines for a sign of his silhouette but you saw none. You’re fine, you told yourself, but the comfort Daryl’s presence provided was now gone and you were beginning to spiral. You didn’t know these woods well and you didn’t know your way back to the prison from here.

Out of sheer desperation, you brought your lips together and let out a two-tone whistle. You gave it a second of silence and just as you were about to repeat, a long one-tone whistle replied back. Daryl quickly came back through an opening in the trees looking as if he had run back to you. His eyes were filled with panic. “Ya alright?” You nodded, seeing him again immediately put you at ease. “M’sorry. Found the tracks, they go off this way.”

Daryl spent a lot of time studying you. It wasn’t intentional…but he couldn’t help but pay attention to every detail. He knew when something was on your mind by the way you dazed off more or the more cigarettes you smoked. Or the way you fiddled with the sleeves of your shirts and jackets. He understood the different expressions on your face and what every one of them meant. You expressed yourself a lot through your eyebrows and eyes. No matter what expression, your eyes were always filled with such sadness. You never smiled. Even on days when Daryl felt good and felt as if he was going to have some major breakthrough, you never did.

Daryl enjoyed what he’d built with you over these last few months but his mind and body were becoming restless. He yearned for you, he yearned to know you. It was like being covered head to toe in mosquito bites. And then someone tying your hands so you’d never be able to scratch them. He wanted to hear your voice and he wanted to see you smile. He told himself that if he ever got to hear you laugh, he’d start praying and going to the prison chapel.

He realized he’d never even seen your teeth before, though it was an odd thought, it would be added to the pile of things that itched and irritated.

Then there were the other thoughts. The bites that itched but also ached and throbbed. He wanted you to sit closer to him on the bike and he wanted your arms tight around his torso. He wanted to hold your hands and stop them from shaking in the morning. He wanted to keep you close after running away from a hoard.

Daryl had spent his time dissecting you like a frog in science class.

Now, he had grown impatient of dissecting. He’d never wanted anyone how desperately he wanted you. You were his sweet tooth craving, you were his stomach-decaying hunger, and you were his fucking mosquito bite. But despite all of Daryls itches and desires, he'd never try to change you. He'd never push you out of the comfort of your silence though he would always be waiting.

The time spent with Daryl had put a piece of you at ease. You’d had grown a special attachment while Daryl had practically sewn you to his hip. The only time you weren’t with him was when it came time to shower or sleep.

You met Daryl every morning at the gate, ready to go wandering amongst the trees or scavenging. Some day's you made it back in time to catch lunch together. Especially if you had an early morning catch and had to get back before the meat went rancid. Most days, you'd find a quiet and safe spot to eat the lunch Carol packed and made it back to the prison before sunset and dinner.

There was peace in this routine...but you couldn't live in this routine forever. There were other duties that needed attention around the prison. The early morning adventures had become less but the time together never changed.

When you weren't enjoying the company of Daryl, you enjoyed the company of the garden. And when it was too late in the day for either of those things, you read books about the garden and thought about Daryl. You learned what crops could be grown in the winter and then looked for their seeds in old gardening stores...with Daryl.

Some, Most, Every night you thought of him. You thought of all the things he'd taught you, of his patience with you, and all the stories he told to fill the air. He'd tell you stories of him and Merle. You wanted to tell him that you knew Merle. That when the Governor locked you away, Merle would come visit you and sneak you food. That he was kind to you despite being such a prick to everyone else.

But no matter how much time and peace Daryl provided, the nightmares never left you. You still woke up with shaky hands and a racing mind and memories of your brother. Although you did cut the habit of reaching for a cigarette. Mainly because your pack was running low and it was becoming impossible to find any more.

Unknowing to you, Daryl had been finding them while scavenging and hiding them in spots you didn't look.

You grabbed the carrot at its very base and pulled it from the soft dirt, a soft snap following. The gloves that kept your fingers from freezing were covered in mud and bits of green. It had rained in the night which made the ground perfectly soft to harvest produce. So, instead of going out this morning, you and Daryl were in the gardens. Well, Daryl followed you to the gardens and wouldn't leave.

"This one alright?" Daryl held up a cabbage with his own gloved hand only a few feet away. You glanced over and gave him a approving nod. He tossed it into the basket that already held a mixture of carrots, celery, and fresh herbs for Carol's cabbage soup.

Carol had become less of a bother to you. In fact, you'd actually created a swift routine with her. You read and researched the books about plants and gardening while she read the ones about cooking. You were the farmer while she got to play Martha Stewart.

"How's it going you two?" Rick and Carol approached the gardens with a little extra pep in their step. The rain fall had made this winter day chillier which meant everyone was bundling up and multiple fires were lit in the courtyard and cell blocks for warmth. "S'alright!" Daryl shouted as he fought with a carrot that seemed to be deep rooted in the ground. From your kneeling position on the ground, you watched Daryl with amusement as he struggled. You would’ve thought that carrot was as big as a egg plant with all his pull and tug.

“You got it Pookie?” Carol teased, Rick and her both getting their own dose of amusement. “M’fine.” With one last pull, the carrot popped from the dirt. “Ya gotta be fuckin’ kiddin’” Daryl held up the carrot, it was about the size of his thumb. You heard Rick and Carol have their own set of laughter, “Maybe you should stick to huntin’ those deer.” Rick said between a few chuckles. Daryl scoffed and tossed the baby carrot into the basket, as he kneeled down to continue picking, he caught your expression.

It was so small he could’ve missed it but he didn’t and he was so glad he hadn’t. You looked back down towards the dirt, a smirk tugging up the corners of your lips and poking your cheeks, dimpling them. For a second, it felt as if someone had punched Daryl in the chest. But it was there just as fast as it was gone.

From that moment on, Daryl wanted nothing more than to feel that again…as did you. You felt foolish. There was this awful gnawing inside you that was telling you every day what you already knew within your heart. He was chipping away at every wall you’d built up and beginning to break down the wall to a very soft spot of you. You had begun to feel like a turtle removed from its shell. Mushy, sensitive, and vulnerable. Gross.

"Hey Y/n!" The youngest Greene girl greeted. The community of the prison had begun to warm up to you. They no longer avoided you like the plague opting to actually say "hello" or "good morning" or maybe even a "goodnight." It had become very well known the closeness Daryl and you held and if people knew, people talked.

You looked up from your current book to Beth standing in the doorway of your cell clutching a small pile of tan books to herself. "Can I..come in?" She awkwardly shuffled her feet farther in and adjusted the books, you nodded. Beth let the curtain that covered your doorway drop and happily took a seat on your bed. You sat up straight and set your book of, Wildflowers Of All Seasons, on the bed beside you. While you adjusted yourself, Beth seemed to be studying your room.

It was more decorated than she had imagined. Your cell was on the upper level, one down from Daryl's. You had a very small wooden nightstand beside your bed that had various half-melted candles. Their wax dripped down the sides and embedded itself into the wood. On the wall across from your bed stood a very slim wooden table.

It was decorated with different trinkets and bottles you'd scavenged, a zippo lighter, and a stack of your growing book collection. Shoved underneath was a wire basket that held all your clothes. Your only 2 pairs of boots and bookbag sat beside it. Your everyday black, fleece-lined jacket was hung off the pole of your bed.

"I found these in the library and thought you might like them." Beth laid out the books on your bed, making it a point to show you every single one of them. Peterson - Field Guide to... They all read. They were very small and slim, a pale shade of tan, with various illustrations on the front pertaining to the title. Perfect to slip into your bag.

"I thought they'd be nice for you to carry when you go out in the mornings." Beth watched as you examined each book, "I wanted to grab them for you before anyone else found 'em." Beth held a very innocent hopeful smile the whole time she spoke to you but your silence was causing her to become uneasy. You picked up a specific one, Field Guide to Animal Tracks. You looked up at the girl and gave her a thin-lipped smile to show your appreciation.

A wide smile formed on her face and she left with a very sweet "Goodnight."

Glenn relieved Daryl from watch tower duty later than expected. It had to of been close to midnight when he got back to his cell. As he walked by your cell, he carefully peeled back your green curtain to check on you. You were a restless sleeper, Daryl heard you almost every night tossing and turning or waking up with a jolt.

Most of your features were concealed by the darkness but from what was visible, you appeared to be in a peaceful sleep. There was a veil of softness to you when you slept. A softness and calmness that never graced you during waking hours. He knew it wouldn’t last very long but he wanted to ensure that at least right now, you were okay. But he could not stand and watch all night. He felt creepy enough.

Daryl noticed the little tan book sitting on his bed as soon as he pulled back his curtain. The moonlight slightly gleamed off the sleek shiny cover. Field Guide to Animal Tracks. As Daryl flipped the book open to its title page, he felt his ears and cheeks warm up. Thankfully the darkness concealed his cheeky smile.

To Daryl. Not like you need it. - Y/n.

The group of deer that Daryl had spotted a month ago was still high on his radar. Though he still had yet to actually catch any of them.

The cabbage soup was still hot in your thermal, emitting a cloud of steam when you popped off the lid. You and Daryl sat in each other's company in your typical spot. A large tree had fallen down just at the entrance to a clearing in the woods providing a perfect resting spot. Had it been Spring or Summer you could only imagine the beauty of the green scenery. But this cold winter didn't provide much besides dry grounds, barren trees, and a frozen pond.

There was a peaceful silence that settled, as it always did. You both ate your soups and turned the pages of your books. Surprisingly, Daryl had actually learned a good bit from the book you gifted and he thoroughly enjoyed it.

"Ask ya something'?" You broke your concentration from your book and looked to Daryl. "Ya know why I started coming out here in the first place, right?"

You took a second to think before hesitantly nodding. "Ya never said anything." Daryl truly never understood why. He never hid it from you but still, you never asked questions. You didn't ask what the notes were on all the maps he had, never asked where you were going, or when you'd be back. But he always knew that you knew he wasn't just hunting deer, he was hunting the governor. "What would ya do...? If you ever got to him?"

Perhaps Daryl had pushed too far. Your head snapped back down to your book, though Daryl knew you weren't actually reading anymore. Your eyes were out of focus and your lips formed a frown. You had never taken the time to think about it. You just knew you wanted him to suffer.

Daryl hadn't spoken another word to you since lunch knowing he had poked at a very sensitive subject. "Wait here a second," Daryl said just as you made it back to his bike. He jogged back into the tree line leaving you sitting on the bike, awaiting his return. Daryl returned soon after, a cluster of bright yellow daffodils in hand. You gave him a puzzled glance but as he held out his hand and said, for you, you felt the urgency to cry. Your nose burning up with tingles and your eyes becoming glazed.

"Thought ya might like 'em, I saw them in your book earlier." Your hand gently took them from Daryl's and you stood still. Very still.

Daryl awkwardly scratched the back of his neck. "They're uh...daffodils, right? Start bloomin' late January into March?" He had secretly been sneaking reads of your books over your shoulder. It was so fast it startled him. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him into you, every muscle in his body stiffened. Daryl was reluctant to hug you back but he gave into his heart and gently laid his arms around your torso. The large jackets you both wore proved to be a barrier from feeling the true touch of the other.

“Thank you.” Your words were raspy and just above a whisper. Had you not been so close, Daryl probably would’ve missed them. “Course.” His words were mumbled against your shoulder, not wanting to make a big deal. A low groan in the distance disrupted your short moment of peace, telling you it was about time to go.

The sun was beginning to set when Daryl’s bike rode up the gravel path to the prison. The smell of a brewing soup hit your nose as the two of you began to walk closer to the dining area. “Find a table, I gotcha.” Daryl’s hand lingered on your shoulder for a second longer than it typically did. Despite wearing such a thick layer of clothes, it was as if you could still feel his touch. Even after he was already at the serving table striking up a conversation with Carol.

You sat your pack down at the usual table. It was farthest to the left, farthest away from all the other tables. “Mind if we join you?” Glenn asked, he and Maggie both holding a steaming bowl. Just as you were about to take your own seat, a loud chuckle sounded snapping you around.

“Oh come on Y/n.” Two men had been walking past on their way to fetch their own dinners. You recognized them, they were commonly on wall duty at Woodbury. The taller one motioned to the flowers that poked out from the front pocket of your jacket. “You can’t be serious.” You could feel your heart drop to the very pit of your stomach. It was as if your body was preparing you for the merciless mocking that was sure to come.

“You’re telling me the Governor’s number one soldier is walking around with flowers in her pockets?”

Stop.

You wanted to say but the words became a ball in your throat. Your eyes darted off to the side. All of a sudden, you didn’t know where to look or what to do with your hands or how to stand properly on your feet. You knew the truth behind their “jokes”.

You are not soft. You are not delicate. You are not loveable.

“The hell are ya doin?” Daryl had practically appeared out of thin air, putting himself between you and the men. You saw this as an opportunity to make an escape for your cell block.

“We were just teasing man. We were friends in Woodbury, just joking around.” They still had slimy smirks on their faces that only poked Daryl even more.

Daryl was fuming. “Didn’t look like she was fucking laughin’.” He took a step closer. “She never fucking laughs!” Before Daryl could unleash his fiery rage, Rick intervened. Rick beckoned Daryl to walk away, mumbling that everyone was looking. “Hell if I care.” Daryl snapped swinging his arm in the air. He turned on his boot and snatched up your pack that you’d left behind before going off to find you.

Daryl hadn’t found you in any of your traditional spots. He checked your cell, the library, the garden, and even the showers. He asked everyone he walked past if they’d seen you but no one had, it was as if you just vanished. And the thought of that was throwing Daryl into a deep pit.

The prison chapel had been restored and decorated by Carol to be used for the grieving prison folk. She had put as many candles as possible on a long wooden table. They had been burned and replaced so frequently that the wax dripped down the sides of the table and dropped dots on the floor. There were many different pictures of lost family members or lovers littering the table…it was quite depressing truthfully. The glow of the candles lit up the room and cast an orange glow on your sad features.

You didn’t look at Daryl as he sat down beside you.

“Didn’t know you were religious.”

“I’m not.”

It was an odd thing…to hear you speak so openly but Daryl wasn’t opposed. “I just…” Your voice was hoarse and low, as low as a whisper. “I find this a way to be with my brother.” Daryl had gotten so used to silence that it almost startled him to hear so many words come from your lips. You shook back the hair that fell on your face and let out a deep sigh, resting your back flat against the wooden church pew. Daryl didn’t want to speak, he didn’t want to scare your voice away, he just wanted to listen.

“I hope that doesn’t sound foolish.”

“It doesn’t.” Daryl shifted himself closer to you. “It doesn’t.” He repeated, his thigh pressed against yours. And for some reason, you felt the need to spill your guts. Perhaps being in a church would drag you to confess. “I-uhmm…I never fought against the prison. I refused to do any of it. I truthfully didn’t care if he killed me for it.” You didn’t have to explain yourself to Daryl but you felt the need to. If what you felt towards him was what you thought, you had to. “But, he just locked me in my room. Wouldn’t let me out.” Somehow, Daryl knew. He never saw you with the Governor, never saw you fighting. And when Rick told him the locked room he found you in, he pieced it together.

“Everything is true though. Everything they say about me, everything he made me do before that.”

Daryl didn’t care, he never had. Daryl cared that you didn’t want to. He cared about the fact that you were forced to. You shrugged your shoulders and looked off, “I’m as guilty as they come.”

Daryl couldn’t stand the sad look on your face, “Alright then…put yer hands behind yer back. I’ll take ya to your cell.” His joking manner caught you so off guard that a laugh escaped you. It was airy and gentle. He truly couldn’t believe it.

You laughed. And Daryl was in church.

Daryl returned to his serious demeanor to reassure you, “I care about how he hurt ya, Y/n. Don’t care what you did.”

Your eyes found Daryl’s in the dimly lit room and for a second you felt it, deep within your chest. And it ached and feared but it also loved. “Good.” You couldn’t fight the smile that squeezed your cheeks as you looked at him. Your eye contact broke allowing silence to welcome itself back. But only for a short time. “Daffodils are the birth flower of March…Jackson and I were born in March.”

After that night in the chapel, Daryl wanted nothing more than to hear your voice. It felt like his ears were filled with honey every time you spoke. It was raspy yet smooth with a hint of a southern drawl from growing up in Georgia. A thick rich honey that he wanted in a cup of hot tea and to take down his throat.

Winter was soon turning to Spring. The sky was bluer and most days the sun shined. The green of the grass and trees were returning. The garden was beginning to look even more promising come warmer weather. And just as the flowers were beginning to take bloom, so were you.

Your hard demeanor had softened, especially for Daryl. You still didn’t talk to many people besides him but you said a word or two when you wanted. Daryl took it upon himself to give Jackson a “grave” where the others were. It was just two pieces of wood, formed into a cross with his name carved in it, planted into the ground. “So that ya don’t have to go down to the chapel. Ya can be outside with him and the garden and stuff.” He had said when he showed you.

“It’s rotten work trying to find these deer.” You and Daryl strolled the wooded area, eyes on the deer tracks that embedded themselves in the dirt. Daryl shushed you and continued his concentration on the tracks. You smiled to yourself and shook your head. “I was rotten work…at the beginning.”

“Nah ya weren’t, not to me.” Daryl didn’t even hesitate, he didn’t even turn look at you. He just continued walking ahead of you, following the tracks.

The two of you settled in your usual spot. Leaning against the fallen tree at the opening to the clearing in the woods. You were right about the clearing looking more beautiful in the warmth of Spring. The trees were plump with fresh green leaves and the water in the pond sparkled under the sunlight. The grass grew tall with a mixture of white and yellow wildflowers. Your fingers ran the edge of the book page as you turned it.

Your current book was, Field Guide to Medical Plants and Herbs. There was some type of cold floating around the prison and finding the medical supplies to treat it was sparse and you’d do anything you could to help.

Daryl was interrupted from tending to his bow by your elbow jabbing his side. Without looking at him, you held up a folded piece of paper and pen. Daryl gave you an odd glare before plucking them from your fingertips. You did this often. When you couldn’t be bothered to use your voice or if you didn’t want to break concentration from a book.

There’s so many things I want to say to you.

Daryl could feel his heart begin to quicken its pace within his chest. He didn’t know what your words meant but at the same time, he did.

The folded paper got tossed back into your lap.

There’s so many things I want to say to you.

So say them.

Just then, a rustling sound sounded from within the trees from across the clearing. You gripped for your blade as Daryl grabbed for his bow. Two deers came through the trees, their white and tan tails flicking back and forth. You could’ve sworn you heard Daryl stop breathing for a second. Daryl slowly leaned up on his knees, bow in hand raising to his eye. Your eye caught it before Daryl’s did.

Another deer emerged from the trees, a fawn close behind her…and then another. “Don’t.” You brought your hand to Daryl’s bow and lowered it to point at the ground. He went to protest but when he saw the twin fawns happily nibbling at the tall grass, he stopped. It was a beautiful sight, as were you.

When your eyes broke away from the deers and to him, that’s when he decided. Daryl cupped your cheek lightly and met your lips with his. His lips were gone just as fast as they were there but his hand didn’t leave. He was still so close that your lips feathered his. Your arms wrapped around his neck as you pulled him down to you again.

What happened that day was never spoken of. But as Daryl sat in the darkness of the train cart in Terminus, he so deeply wish it had been.

But now, you were gone as was the prison. The look on your face, when the Governor stood outside the prison, was burned into Daryl’s eyelids. The way your chest heaved with anger, your hands shook with rage, and revengeful teary eyes stared off. The last he saw was you slipping out through the prison fence to go after him. Daryl yelled at you to not do it, to come with him, but you didn’t listen. You’d let yourself die if it meant you finally got your hands on him and Daryl knew it.

You could be dead. You could’ve died weeks ago fighting the Governor. You could be out there alone and starving and scared. Or you could be just fine. Daryl would never know.

When Terminus fell and he watched Rick cuddle and kiss Judith in his arms, he had a surge of hope. And when he saw Carol alive, he had more hope. As everyone said hello, it was as if he waited, waiting for you to magically appear. “Nobody has Y/n?” A deafening silence followed, quieter than you ever were. “Daryl…” Michonne stepped towards him. As he went to walk away, she stopped him placing a hand on rising his chest. “Darlyl. I’m not saying she didn’t make it. I’m just saying she didn’t look good.”

“Yeah? And you didn’t help her?” Daryl snapped shoving her hand off his chest. “Get off me.” Daryl seethed with hot tears in his icy blue eyes. It became an unspoken rule to not speak your name around him.

Your hand pressed firmly on the wound that oozed blood down your side as you limped your way into the cell block. Your right side was stained in the crimson color, all the way down to the knee of your jeans. You strained and let out a groan of pain as you took a step up the stairs that led to your cell. You didn’t need to look at yourself to know you looked awful. The walkers that completely ignored your existence when you limped by them told you enough.

Your entire torso throbbed in pain. The bruising from the kicks you took to the stomach were forming and it felt impossible to move. Your head felt like tv static and you had an undying desire to sleep. But you couldn’t. You likely had a concussion and knew that if you slept now, you wouldn’t be getting back up. Besides, you had to find Daryl. There was a hope that he’d stayed in the area and you’d find him if you just looked. You knew the woods around here well, you could find him. He was waiting for you, he had to be.

In your fuzzy state of mind, you threw whatever you touched into your pack. You changed out of ruined clothes and into clean ones. When the collar of your shirt dragged down your face, you let out a whimper of pain as it got caught on your bottom lip. There was a cut that dragged from the under your left nostril, across the left corner of your lips, and ended at the bottom of your chin.

It became a blur how you left your cell safely and ended up on the path Daryl and you walked every morning. You had to get to your spot. The spot with the fallen tree and clearing. Daryl would wait for you there. You were sure of it. When you got there and he wasn’t there, it was okay, you told yourself. You just had to wait for him.

You lowered yourself to the ground, a few whimpers of pain escaping your lips. With your back resting against the tree and arm draped over your mid section, you slipped into unconscious. You awoke to the sound of a man’s voice. “Hey, hey.” He said trying to wake you but your eyelids were too heavy to lift and you felt the weight of every muscle in your body. “Heath! Go tell Laura to bring the car around. We gotta take her back.”

“It’s a ten hour drive back Aaron, you think she’s gonna make it?”

“I don’t know.”

You awoke with a slight jolt. Your chest heaved with heavy breathes as your eyes dilated to the bright and unfamiliar room. Your body ached but the softness of the mattress you laid on seemed to comfort it. “Pete, go get Deanna.” Aaron instructed, sitting up in his seat next to your bedside. Your eyes wandered the room, trying to figure out where you were. “Hey. I’m Aaron. You’re in the infirmary in a community called Alexandria.” You looked to the man that sat to your right. He had a very kind face and gentle eyes. His clothes were perfectly clean and his curly brown hair was freshly washed and fluffy.

“Myself and others were on a trip along the East Coast to look for survivors to bring here.” Aaron clarified further, “We found you and brought you back, you were in really bad shape…you still…you still kind of are.”

Aaron could see the confusion and panic drawn on your face. Your head snapped to the door when you heard footsteps on the polished wood floors. “Hi” Deanna gently said approaching your bedside. “We’ve been waiting for you to wake up. What’s your name?”

Your mouth hung open for a second, your mind still wasn’t clear, and you had no clear memory of the last three days. “Y/n” You finally replied, voice hoarse and raspy. Deanna smiled at you, “Where am I?” You asked finally finding your voice. Deanna and Aaron exchanged a glance, “You’re in a safe community called Alexandria in Virginia.”

Virginia?

You could feel your world begin to tumble, a thousand thoughts racing your mind. You were so far away from Georgia. You were away from home. Away from Daryl. “No.” You attempted to pull yourself out of the bed but were stopped by Aaron softly holding you back. “No, no, no.” You repeated and dropped your head down into your hands as panicked sobs racked your chest. “Pete! Go get her something to calm down.”

You didn’t want pills to help calm down. You wanted to go home. You wanted to be with him. You sat yourself up in the bed despite the pain in your torso telling you not to. “Daryl?” You asked Deanna. She could see the desperation in your teary eyes, “I’m sorry we only found you.”

Aaron sat up from the dirt floor of the barn after Rick had knocked him unconscious. Rick’s group continuously went back and forth with one another debating their plan. Once they finally decided and everyone was being assigned a position, Rick turned to Daryl. “Daryl, go keep an eye-“

“Wait, Daryl?” Aaron interrupted Rick’s order from his spot on the floor. He felt everyone’s eyes on him in an instant. “Daryl Dixon, right? Y-you knew an Y/n?” Daryl stomped over to Aaron and gripped him by the front of his shirt, pulling him close. “How the hell ya know Y/n?” Daryl’s tone was threatening yet shaky. Aaron knew if he didn’t start talking he’d end up back on the floor.

“She’s in Alexandria, she lives with me, she’s safe! A-a little over a month ago, myself and others were on a trip along the East Coast looking for survivors. We found her in the woods down in Georgia.” Aaron took a pause, “She was in really bad shape, we brought her back and she’s been there ever since.”

“She talks about you all the time.” Daryl’s hand shook around the fabric of Aaron’s shirt, his eyes studied his face trying to find any indicator that he was lying. ”I don’t fuckin’ believe ya.” The thought of you being alive and safe comforted Daryl but he wouldn’t so easily believe a stranger. “I’m not lying, I swear.” Aaron frantically said, “She-she gave me something to give to you. It’s in the front pocket of my bag.”

Daryl shoved Aaron back to the ground with a thud. Rick tossed Aaron’s bag to Daryl, practically tearing off the zipper getting into it. Daryl’s unsteady hands pulled out the familiar small tan book. As he flipped open to the title page, he read the words you’d written to another that day.

There’s so many things I want to say to you.

So say them.

As Daryl read the new words you’d written, he could feel the lump forming in his throat.

It was easier to die than to say them.

“I probably should’ve led with that, huh?” Aaron joked attempting to lighten the mood. Rick’s gruff voice responded, “Shut up.”

The sun shined in Alexandria despite the rainstorm that came through the night before. You found yourself where you always were, in the gardens. The heavy rain had bent many of the plants out of shape and the raised wooden garden beds were flooded. The mixture of water and grass squelched under your boots as you examined the damage. With a deep sigh, you pulled out a box of cigarettes from your back pocket along with a zippo lighter. It wasn’t a habit you proudly picked back up. But after the fall of the prison and Daryl no longer being there to help you, it found its way back.

You tilted your head up to the sky and blew the smoke from your lips. You closed your eyes and let the sunlight cast its rays onto your face. And as you did, you tried to imagine that you were standing in the garden of the prison again. That Daryl stood only a few feet away, fighting with a vegetable, and cursing as he did.

“Hey Y/n.”

Spencer disrupted your daydream, standing a few feet away and calling out your name. “Sorry,” He jokingly held up his hands in surrender, “Aaron’s back, he asked for you at the gate.” Aaron had returned to Alexandria several times over the past month with new faces. Every time you’d go to the gate and wait for him to return, your heart full of hope. But every time the same disappointment rained down on you. It was never who you wanted, it was never him. So, when Aaron told you about a group he’d been tracking and trying to bring back, you didn’t care to listen. You saved my ass and now you think you can save everyone? You said to him a few nights ago.

“Going.” You replied bluntly. You wouldn’t allow your hopes to grow just to be smashed into pieces. Your eyes were on the ground as you walked to the front gate, cigarette dangling from your lips, and hair falling in your face. Spencer talked his jaw off beside you, every word he spoke going in one ear and out the other. But the sound of a familiar whistle vibrating against your eardrums perked your head up in an instant.

You tossed your cigarette from your mouth and found your way back to him. Daryl met you halfway, his arms desperately pulling you in close. Your arms wrapped tightly around his neck, feeling his shaky breaths on the skin of your own. Your hair was soft and smelled of shampoo. Daryl grasped the fabric of your shirt that smelled ever so slightly of cigarettes.

When Daryl pulled away to look at you, he finally saw the fresh scar drawn on your lips. He wanted to scold you. To tell you how foolish you'd been to go after the Governor alone. "Ya got him?" Was all he could bring himself to ask. You avoided answering but you nodded, "Come on, I wanna go see everyone else."

Despite the group still not fully trusting Alexandria, they felt more at ease knowing you’d been kept safe here. After helping Rick settle the group into the Alexandrian homes, you sat on the front porch with Daryl. Daryl hadn’t let you out of his sight for a second. Everything you did and every where you went, he was there. Besides when Carol shoved him away to shower.

The two of you passed back and forth a lit cigarette, comfortable in the silence of the night air. “Tara asked me about the Governor.” Your words were quiet just incase anyone were listening. Daryl looked to you. “Yeah?” With a deep sigh, you blew the smoke from your mouth. “Yeah…asked what he did to me.”

Daryl could see the way the thought of it dragged your lips into that familiar frown. “Told her I didn’t wanna make her guilty conscious even worse.” You said it as if it was meant to be a joke but Daryl saw through it. “It’s gettin late.” Daryl begin to break you from those thoughts. He was right. The sun had set about an hour ago and everyone was setting up their beds for the night.

“Ya ah….Ya gonna go home?” Daryl didn’t want you to leave, he never wanted to be without you again. “I am home.” There was no hesitation in your reply. Daryl’s eyes snapped to yours in an instant. “Ain’t what I meant.” You stood from your spot and reached a hand out to him, “Come with me.” Daryl glanced between your hand and your eyes. The night was dark and the porch light dim but you could see the rosy color blotch at his cheeks. You lightly kicked his foot with your own, “Just wanna show you where I’ve been staying.”

Your room was in the fully furnished basement of Aaron and Eric’s home. Aaron had welcomed you in, knowing you couldn’t be on your own in your condition. The stairs were on the farthest right wall of the basement, leading you down into a lounge like area with tan carpet and white walls. An L shaped leather couch sat in front of a, now useless, flat screen TV. Past the couch, on the back wall, stood two white doors. Daryl presumed behind one of them laid your bedroom.

You walked him over to the left door and pushed it open. There was nothing special about your room. Simply a bed, two nightstands, a dresser, and a bookshelf in the corner. You sat at the foot of your bed, Daryl took it as a sign to do the same. “I’m sorry Daryl.” Your voice was just above a whisper, avoiding his eyes when you spoke. “I should’ve looked harder for him…I shouldn’t of gotten so distracted.” Your head hung low in shame, “I should’ve talked about that day..in the woods.” The dimly lit room hid the tears that fell from your eyes. “I should’ve said everything I wanted to say.”

“We should’ve.” Daryl corrected you, stopping all your blabbering. Your watery eyes met his with a look of confusion. “Everythin’ ya said. I was there too. S’not all your fault Y/n.” The impact of Daryl’s words made you go quiet. “Ain’t yer fault what he did to you either.”

“I love you.”

Daryl had never shut his mouth so fast in his life. You weren’t sure where your outburst of confidence came from but you didn’t regret it. You accepted it every waking day and every sleepless night you were apart from him. “Nah, ya don’t.” Daryl rejects your confession at the grace of his own insecurity. Your hands raise themselves to his face, a stern look gracing your features. “I have since the prison.”

Daryl didn’t know what to do. He could feel his heart pounding against his chest and the warmth from your hand on his cheek. You gently lean in before connecting your lips with his. When you pulled away, you rested your forehead against his own. If you had just ruined everything Daryl and you had, you at least wanted to bask in his presence one last time. “I love ya too.” Daryl leaned back in, capturing your lips in his.

The night you’d spent together was full of gentle touches and whispers. The only time silence happened was the sleep bestowed upon you afterwards. Your bedroom was dimly lit come morning time. The only windows in your room were up towards the ceiling, just above ground level. For the first time since Jackson died, you woke up peacefully. No panic attack awaiting you, no need to run away and fill your lungs with smoke. Feelings of the night before returned to your mind, memories in vivid detail. Daryl awoke when he felt the movement of the sheet from beside him.

With your back turned to him, Daryl took it upon himself to graze the skin of your bare back with his fingertips. He caught a glance at the deep scarring along your side. The gash had turned into a raised, dark pink, bruised color on your skin. Daryl could see shadow of lines covering its length from the stitches that had held it together.

As his fingertips traveled down, they stopped on another scar. The left side of your lower back was imbedded with the letter “G”. The scarring of the initial raised your skin, though it wasn’t pink and bruised like the other. It had healed to a shade paler than your skin tone. Daryl simply couldn’t believe it. Fucking bastard.

“Branding iron.” You begin, voice slightly rasp from sleep. “Never did it to anyone else…just me.” Daryl’s hand fell from your back, “Come here.” You reluctantly did so, turning to face him. His hand found the side of your face that didn’t rest on the plush pillow. His facial expression’s became serious but his eyes remained gentle. “Ain’t gonna let no one treat you like that ever again. Ya feel like someone breathes around ya the wrong way, you tell me alright?” You playfully rolled your eyes, a cheeky smile forming but you still replied “Alright.”

Daryl thumb drug along your bottom lip, stopping at the pale scar. “Promise ya won’t ever stop doing that?”

“Doing what?”

“…Bein’ happy.”

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A/n: I've proof read this over and over so I hope everyone is able to enjoy it and theres no mistakes! If anyone would like to submit a request, feel free too. If it's a project i'd be willing to take on, I will try my best to get to it.

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flowerandblood · 2 months ago

Text

The Price of Pride (12/?)

[ canon • Aemond x Royce • female ]

[ warnings: sex content, unprotected sex, targcest stuff, smut, the angst, sexual tension, imprisonment, abuse of power ]

[ description: Prince Aemond finds a solution to the disproportion in the number of dragons between Dragonstone and King's Landing: he decides to find dragon blood and, like his half-sister, train dragon riders. He takes as his target the daughter of Daemon Targaryen and Rhea Royce, whom he abducts and imprisons in the Red Keep. Slow burn, darkish, insolent, arrogant Aemond. I have combined several requests here: (dragon blood female & prisoner female). ]

* English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy! *

Next chapters: Masterlist

_____

Never before in her life had she been so terrified as she was the night their army was supposed to return from the battle of Rook's Rest. Lying in bed in her chamber, she looked towards the door, hoping in despair that it would open in a moment and he would appear in it, saying that they had won.

That he had returned.

It frightened her how far this had gone, how attached she had become to him, that the thought that he might die made her eyelids fill with heavy, burning tears.

She didn't care if he married her or not, she didn't resent him for taking her maidenhood even though he wasn't her husband, she didn't expect anything from him.

She just wanted him to survive.

She stood up, knelt before the bed on the floor and folded her hands as if to pray.

"Father, surround him with your support and wisdom. Warrior, give him the strength to fight. Mother, protect him and let him return home. Stranger, do not take him away yet." She muttered and sobbed quietly, burying her face in her hands, thinking she was pathetic.

He'd abducted her and forced her to serve him, fucked her like a whore, merely ensuring she didn't betray him, she repeated to herself, trying to pull herself together, but then she panicked again at the thought of never seeing him again.

She swallowed loudly, laying her head on the bedding, trying to calm her breathing, wondering how she would feel if he and Aegon had died and her father had marched into the Red Keep at the head of his army to liberate her.

Would she throw herself into his arms with joy?

Would she feel relieved?

Her heart and mind were filled with complete emptiness when she realised that she would not.

She didn't want to be saved.

The longer she thought about it, the more it came to her that she and her cousin were identical: they were drawn to each other like moths to a flame, burning in each other's embrace, taking from each other what they both so desperately craved.

He felt as rejected as she did, overlooked by his mother, who showed more tenderness to her lover instead of to him, her son, who was dying every day in the loneliness of his heart. Moreover, he could not openly ask for his mother's attention: it would show his weakness, the fact that deep down he was not a man but a little boy.

As rider of the greatest dragon in the world and protector of the Realm, he could not afford it.

She had only fallen asleep at dawn and shuddered when someone suddenly walked into her chamber, snapping her out of her deep slumber.

"My Lady. Prince Regent summons you to the Small Council chamber." Said Lysa.

Prince Regent.

She reached for the robe lying on the chair as quickly as she could, threw it over her shoulders, tying it around her waist, and went out into the corridor.

What has he done?

She made her way through the Red Keep with a quick step, finally standing in front of the door that the guards had opened for her, and she caught sight of his face sitting at the head of the table in the place reserved for the King.

What has he done?

She glanced around at the people sitting at the table – the Dowager Queen and Criston Cole looked distressed and tired, as did the other lords, however her cousin was grinning broadly, looking at her in a way she felt uneasy from.

"Leave us alone." He ordered and everyone around him stood up, bowing to him, leaving the chamber one by one.

She swallowed quietly as the door finally closed behind her with a quiet clatter of old wood, and they were left on their own. For a moment, they just looked at each other – her cousin hummed under his breath and spread himself comfortably in his seat, as if he was enjoying the moment, satisfaction and contentment in his gaze.

"Come closer, hāedar." He said softly, making a gesture towards her with his hand, as if encouraging her not to be afraid.

She moved towards him uncertainly, feeling that her lips were slightly parted in an accelerated breath, her heart pounding like mad.

She wanted to ask him where is Aegon, but didn't, recognising that the question would upset him.

He didn't like not being the centre of her attention, like a small child demanding her full involvement.

When she stopped in front of him his hand was still outstretched towards her, so she placed her fingers on it – she sighed as he pulled her gently and she fell into his lap, sitting down clumsily, trying to find a comfortable position, leaning against his shoulder for balance.

She closed her eyes when she felt his lips place a soft, sweet kiss on her cheek, the tip of his nose running over her skin as if he wanted to wordlessly tell her that he was glad to see her.

"– lēkia –" She whispered, not knowing what to say, afraid to use words, knowing that she had to be careful what she did now, feeling that something had changed.

He felt mighty and powerful.

Something had happened on the battlefield.

Had he disobeyed her?

Was Aegon dead?

Fear mingled with a sense of pleasant comfort in her heart when his familiar, broad hands stroked her back, trailing up and down, sliding up to her very buttocks, causing a delightful shiver to pass through her.

"– look at me, hāedar – look at me –" He sighed, his index finger tilting her face so that she looked straight into his own – his gaze was hot, filled with something she didn't understand, his breathing heavy, as if the very sight of her aroused him.

She dared to take his cheeks in her palms, and he closed his eyes as her thumbs gently stroked his skin, his lips slightly parted in a blissful expression.

There were so many things she wanted to ask him.

She was so afraid.

What have you done?

Why are you so proud of yourself?

Will you take me now while your brother's body is rotting somewhere?

She pressed her forehead against his, not knowing what to do, who was the man who had returned to her, thinking that he was at once close to her, beloved and foreign, terrifying.

"– iksan arlī, hāedar (I'm back, little sister) –" He whispered, stroking her hair, her shoulders, her back, her waist, her buttocks as if trying to remember what it was like to feel her body, his eyes closed, his face relaxed, as if he were in heaven.

"– ivestragon nyke skoros massitas, lēkia (tell me what happened, big brother) – kostilus (please) –" She muttered pleadingly, and his eye opened – contrary to what she had feared, his gaze was not cold or frustrated, but filled with warmth and relief.

"– my brother thoughtlessly interfered in the battle between Vhagar and Meleys – he paid for his foolishness and burned in the fire – he is alive, but incapable of performing his duties – I will remain Prince Regent until that changes –" He said quietly, as if he was telling her his secret, something meant only for her ears, stroking her cheeks and hair.

She sighed in relief and for some reason embraced him, cuddling his face between her breasts, feeling her heart pounding like mad.

My brother thoughtlessly interfered in the battle between Vhagar and Meleys.

So he didn't do it, she thought, feeling lighter, as if someone had dropped a stone from her back.

Simply the will of the gods had happened.

"– do you believe me, zaldrītsos? –" He whispered, as if he needed to hear it, his hands clenched tightly on the material of her robe at her back.

She had to believe him.

Hundreds of soldiers must have witnessed it, the sight of the dragon falling from the sky and what had happened before.

Why would he lie now, knowing that she would discover the truth anyway?

She stroked his soft white hair with her palm and placed a warm, loud kiss on the top of his head, cuddling him into her as if he were a small child.

"– I do, lēkia – I do –" She assured him and felt his manhood pulsate hard beneath her, then again and again.

She sighed when she felt his fingers untie her robe and nightgown, when with a light, impatient movement he slid their material off her shoulders, exposing shamelessly her breasts.

"– someone will see – ah –" She mumbled, involuntarily pressing him closer to her body as his lips in some subconscious, thirsty impulse found her nipple, sucking and licking it alternately – a powerful shudder ran along her spine, down to her fingertips and her swollen lips, making her cunt pulse hungrily around nothing.

She moaned helplessly as one of his hands clamped down on her ass, his hips beginning to roll back and forth, rubbing his hard, swollen erection against the place between her thighs.

"– no one dares –" He murmured softly, pulling away from her hard, puffy nipple only to move his mouth to the other, repeating the same caresses on it. "– I forbade it –"

She cried out in pleasure, clenching her fingers in his hair when she felt his hand slide from her buttock to between her thighs from behind – she began to rub against his fingers when she felt them sink into her leaking, soft folds with his sigh of satisfaction.

"– my little sister missed her brother – hm? –" He gasped, circling around her swollen bud, making a wonderful, tickling tension begin to rise in her lower abdomen, their hips meeting each other, his cock hard and swollen between her thighs.

"– did you not hear my desperate prayers? –" She mumbled, rising to her knees, lifting her robe and nightgown above her thighs as his hands slid down to his belt – he unbuckled it, looking at her with eye that was surprisingly vulnerable and warm, as if something in her words moved him.

"– what were you praying for, sweet girl? –" He whispered, untying and spreading the material of his breeches to the side, embracing her waist with his arm, with his other hand holding his swollen erection.

She liked the new position she found herself in – she knew that if he had wanted to, he could have simply come and fucked her in her bed, he, however, clearly desired something else.

Proof that she missed him, that she wanted him, that she needed him.

She placed her hands on his shoulders for balance and slowly lowered herself onto the fat head of his cock, feeling him open her wide on himself with their quiet sigh of pleasure.

She decided to tease him for a while and see how he would react to that.

"– for the Father to give you wisdom –" She gasped softly, letting him deeper into her hot core only to lift herself up again, sliding his manhood, slick with her moisture, out of her almost all the way, his mouth parted wide, his gaze fixed on her face, simultaneously terrified and delighted at how pleasurable what she was doing was. "– for the Warrior to give you strength –"

They both groaned pathetically as she let him into her all the way, closing their eyes only to open them a moment later, their hips in some subconscious, natural rhythm beginning to thrust out against each other as she pressed her forehead against his.

"– for the Mother to protect you –" She mewled as they both sped up, his stones slapping again and again against her asscheeks with loud splats of their bare skin, his cock thick and swollen, teasing her sweet spot with cruel precision, making her cunt begin to leak, the chair underneath them creaking loudly.

"– fuck –" He muttered, digging his short nails into the bare skin of her arse, forcing her to let him pound into her harder, his mouth grabbing her hard, sweet nipple and began to suck on it again, a wonderful, aggressive thrill of pleasure shook her body, her walls giving his erection a firm, sure squeeze.

"– for the Stranger not to take you away –" She cried out, moaning loudly along with him, her fingers clenched in his long hair, their bodies slamming against each other like mad, the tension deep inside her reaching its zenith, making her pant hard, their sweaty foreheads pressed together, their eyes fixed on each other.

"– hāedar – oh f-fuck –" He mumbled out, clenching his fingers on her body as tightly as if he felt he could no longer escape what was happening to him, how much he wanted it – their lips met in a messy, sticky kiss full of their tongues, her weeping cunt began to clench around his throbbing erection, bringing them closer to fulfilment.

"– ah – don't stop – gods, your brother is about to fill you –" He breathed out, and she cried out loudly, feeling that his words had done something to her – she heard him groan loudly, shocked when he felt her come hard on his cock, soaking his entire manhood in her wetness – they were both panting with relief and delight as his mouth spread wide in bliss, and his warm seed spilled deep inside her.

She snuggled her face into his neck, moaning quietly, unable to calm down as he did, their hips rocking for another moment, his arms embracing her tightly, cuddling her into his body.

"– dīnagon nyke, hāedar –" He sighed softly, combing his fingers through her hair, his lips placing a warm, tender kiss on her temple, as if he wanted to reassure both her and himself.

She froze, clenching her fingers on his black leather tunic, feeling her heart stop in her chest.

Marry me, little sister.

"– my brother is plunged into a deep sleep – there is no telling when he will awaken – we will manage to marry in the Great Sept by then – I have ensured that the message sent by the King does not reach the Iron Islands – I want it to be you –" He said in a voice trying to be calm, but she could hear it breaking, filled with the fear of rejection.

Gods, what was she to do?

If she became his wife, she would never run from him again.

She will become his property, like his chair, table or bed.

She would bear him children and he would bed his servants as soon as she was no longer young and beautiful.

"– I'm afraid –" She mumbled at last.

She heard him swallow hard, his free hand stroking her back reassuringly, as if he wanted to soothe her.

"– what are you afraid of, zaldrītsos? – tell me –" He whispered in her ear and fell silent, waiting anxiously for her words.

She pressed her lips together, feeling warm tears under her eyelids, her heart filled with stinging pain.

She embraced him and snuggled into him, deciding that this one time she would try to do what she had always dreamed of doing.

That she'll confide in someone like a friend.

"Marriage is for a woman like a cage. She can be happy only if she gives her husband children while still remaining young and beautiful. I don't know if a person born out of hatred can be fertile, but even if I am, I don't want to wait for the days when I find out that you are not faithful to me – I don't expect you to be, because since when have husbands been faithful to their wives? Isn't that why the world is filled with mistresses that everyone curses? I have never been the most important person for anyone and I know I won't be for you. I understand it, but our marriage would be a lie, even though everyone would have to believe otherwise. They would pity me, knowing that I have become a vessel for your seed." She muttered in a trembling voice, feeling tear after tear begin to run down her face, her throat clenched as if she was choking.

She heard him draw in a loud breath and sigh, his chest quivering all over – she lifted her gaze to him and froze, seeing that his jaw was shaking.

"If I wanted to have a mistress, I would marry Floris Baratheon and took you to my bed." He muttered at last, trying to remain calm, his eye large and filled with suffering fixed far ahead of him. "I wish for you to fall asleep and wake up beside me. For us to roam the skies together. For you to dine with me, read with me, speak with me. For you to always support me. For our children, if born, to be the result of our closeness. I will never dishonor you."

He said and looked at her, his hand stroking through her hair as if she were a small child.

"Marry me. I will care for you, and your place will always be by my side. I will protect you."

She felt her lips tremble, her eyebrows arching in pain as she heard those familiar words, what he had said to her then, as they lay under the stars.

If you tame a dragon, I will treat you like my little sister.

She understood what he was trying to tell her.

Had he lied then?

Had he let her down?

Had he abandoned her?

No.

"Yes." She whispered.

He swallowed hard, taking a deep breath, licking his lower lip.

"Yes, what?" He asked in a trembling voice.

"Kesan dīnagon ao, lēkia (I will marry you, big brother)." She whispered.

He pressed her body to his chest and sank his face into the crook of her neck, twitching all over with emotion.

She smiled, embracing him tenderly, thinking with amusement that she had already forgotten that his soft manhood was still deep inside her.

For some reason, the fact that they were one flesh seemed natural to her.

Her cousin announced their betrothal during supper later that evening, and although everyone at the table lowered their gazes, no one dared to contradict him.

He threw her a satisfied, piercing look as he sat at the head of the table in his brother's place, grinning broadly, and she sighed quietly and smiled, thinking that she might have been trying to lie to herself, but it was no use.

Her destiny was tied to this dark, violent, unpredictable man.

She spent that night in his chamber, for the first time feeling light-hearted with the fact that she was lying bare in his arms, in his pleasant, tender embrace, in which she felt safe – there was something wonderful about the way his fingers roamed lazily over her back, forming different shapes, while they lay in silence.

A silence full of understanding and contentment.

Her cousin wanted to use the time while his brother was unconscious, so he pushed for a quick nuptials – she didn't mind and agreed that he would organise everything as he saw fit, much to his delight.

"I haven't had time to congratulate you, my Lady. You are about to become the Prince's wife." Said Gwayne Hightower, Queen Alicent's older brother, raising his eyebrows in what she would call a mixture of amusement and mockery – he approached her with his hands folded behind his back as she practised archery in the courtyard.

She smiled under her breath as she drew her bowstring and took aim, releasing it, her arrow again hitting the centre of the target.

"Thank you, my Lord, for your kind words." She said lightly, not even bestowing a single glance on him, reaching into her quiver behind her back for an arrow, intending to take another shot.

She heard him snort under his breath, combing the sand beneath his feet with his boot.

"You could use tracks to shoot from a greater distance. You won't learn anything else here." He said softly, and she sighed, amused, pressing the bowstring to her cheek.

"On the contrary. I'm learning patience." She hummed, taking another accurate shot, looking up at him finally.

Indeed, Queen Alicent and her brother resembled each other, however, his eyes and hair were paler – she thought he looked like a confident and mischievous man, who was none too pleased that she was to join their family despite the fact that he himself owed his position to his sister.

The Court breathed hypocrisy.

"Surely your patience will come in handy with my nephew." He sneered, looking at her with a smile full of curiosity.

Did he really think she would let him provoke her, that she would tell him something about her cousin that he could then use against her?

"Prince Aemond doesn't like it when people speak about him behind his back. He generally doesn't like to be spoken about. He would not be pleased if he found out that you wished to discuss his affairs with me." She said, lowering her bow, coming closer to him, making his eyebrows raise.

He licked his lower lip, looking at her cheekily, as if he recognised that he had accepted the challenge.

"So he is oversensitive about himself. Like any Targaryen." He stated.

"He just doesn't like gossip. It's a trait of his character that I value in him." She replied.

Ser Gwayne cocked his head, taking a step towards her, standing, in her mind, too close to her – but she did not pull away, recognising that she would not be the one to pay the price.

"Are you carrying his child yet?" He asked, and she lifted her chin higher, understanding that with this innocent question he wished to humiliate her, reminding her that she was lying in bed with a man who was not her husband.

In his mind, she had simply seduced his nephew, whom he considered weak and vulnerable to manipulation.

"Possibly. I, unlike our Dowager Queen, don't make sure every time that my actions won't have consequences. I am prepared to pay them." She said calmly and smiled when she noticed that his gaze grew grimmer, his eyebrows straightened, his jaw clenched in fury.

He opened his mouth to say something, but they were interrupted by another voice.

"Hāedar."

She turned towards her cousin and smiled at him reassuringly, seeing his tense figure walking towards them, his gaze once on her, once on his uncle.

He stopped beside them and licked his lower lip, impatient.

"Skorion massitas (what happened)?" He asked coolly, staring at her expectantly.

She sighed quietly and threw him a soft, calm look.

"Aōha kēpus jaelagon naejot gīmigon lo nyke gryves aōha riña iemnȳ nyke (your uncle wants to know if I am carrying your child). Nyke udlitan zirȳla bona gaoman gīmigon daor (I answered him that I do not know)." She said and saw that he closed his eyelid and turned his head away, furious, swallowing hard the rage that surged in his body.

"Henujagon īlva, hāedar (leave us, little sister). Jikagon naejot ñuha tistālion (go to my chamber)." He said matter-of-factly.

She nodded and moved ahead without bestowing a single glance on Ser Gwayne Hightower.

She smiled under her breath, guessing that her betrothed would teach him a lesson in humility.

She sighed quietly as she went into her quarters for a moment, wanting to change and take a quick bath before heading to his bed, all hot and tired after the physical exertion. She put her bow, a gift she had received from her Prince on the occasion of their betrothal, into one of her trunks and stood up, undoing the buckles of her leather tunic one by one.

She froze when she noticed a small roll of parchment lying on the table by the window.

Was it possible?

She walked over there and reached her hand for the letter, feeling her heart pounding like mad, a cold sweat running down her back at the thought that her father and his third wife's spies were still in the Red Keep.

She knew it was him.

It had to be him.

She unrolled the parchment and swallowed hard, feeling her heart jump to her throat as she read what was written in it.

Congratulations on your betrothal Kepa

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fumifooms · 4 months ago

Text

Rin, smiling, and nagging

Rinsha Fana’s character is summarized in a couple facts thrown here and there. Because she worries for him, she follows Kabru to help his cause and protect him, and to nag him. She’s a grumpy angry tsundere, but it seems not only rooted in her attitude but on a deep rooted physical level, to the point where any intense emotion she feels will make her frown and scowl even if it’s genuine joy. Her childhood was half spent ostracized in the tallman community her family lived in and half with the elves, where she’s said to have been treated like an animal.

We don’t know how she was raised exactly or who it even was, but knowing she was "treated like an animal" by the elves taking care of her…

Elves are shown to have a highly hierarchical society, not only with their concern with status such as nobility and the purity of bloodlines but also reflected by its social culture imo. They have high society and etiquette, upmost devotion to the queen, very role-oriented, like cogs in a machine, and as such, it’s a bit skewed since most of what we see of the elves is in a military context with military people but they seem to value having emotions under lock and key to be efficient and not bring dishonor, Flamela is an interesting character on this. Don’t be a bother and do your job until you’re called on, fulfill your role, everything else is extra at best inconvenient at worst.

Personally I do think the canaries kept Rin, it’d make sense that whichever canaries got stuck with the job at the headquarters would be barebones with her and treat her like an ‘impounded article’, they couldn’t find another place for her and this way they can get her report on the events whenever she can speak again in however many years, and this way it makes sense that she could keep in touch with Kabru too. They’re used to prisoners, not kids. Being raised in a military context rather than at some orphanage would shape her further.

All of this to say…

She’d already seen the world’s harshness to those who don’t conform in her hometown, but with the elves? Her disdain for those who had formal education at a magic school?

Wouldn’t she become very concerned with proving she is not an animal, proving that she’s smart and skilled in her own right on her own merit, even without schooling. And to do this she nitpicks and nitpicks, because even being pristine isn’t enough to be respected, but at least it’s not giving others reasons to disrespect and dehumanize her. Learning to school her emotions, to scowl as a defense mechanism because anything else makes her vulnerable, because they don’t care about her as a person with feelings, because showing other expressions was dangerous or punished in some way: because it was fit in or don’t fit in and that’s the difference between having your house burnt down and being tolerated, between getting her food or having her questions answered and being yelled at to shut up… Because all her life she’s been surviving in hostile social environments and at the mercy of others, but unlike Kabru she doesn’t become a people pleaser but becomes very self-reliant and wary of socializing.

So she nitpicks and nitpicks and nags, because she’s worried. Because flaws are dangerous. So she has a hard time smiling and laughing, because it’s dangerous to allow yourself to feel safe in being authentic.

It would be nice…

Is my red, red enough? I'm waiting for your teeth at my throat. It’s only good manners. -Stephanie Valente

#Dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #rinsha fana #rin dunmeshi #character analysis #Kabru and rin have many parallels where they kinda take opposite routes on the same problem #Rinsha fans how are we feeling #Theory/speculation #Overcompensation i love you……… god she’s such a survivor. The refugee trauma i 😭#Is my red red enough is her blood human enough i’m gonna walk into the ocean #Wether or not her nagging actually promotes upstanding demeanor is another topic but I do think this is why she DEFAULTS to nag n scold #I don’t think she’s self-aware about her thinking like this. It’s all just the obvious way to be for her

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venerawrites · 5 months ago

Note

Vi reuniting with her significant-other after prison? The reader could be a mercenary, or a firelight, a baker, an artist(music and paint) just to name a few occupations they could have. I am not used to requesting, so please forgive me.

author's note: I think this request is so cute, I really loved doing it! I tis a bit angsty in the beginning, but it is fluffy at the end! <3 Thank you so much for requesting and I hope you enjoy! x

Nature always finds a way.

Even when surrounded by nothing but a cold, grey concrete, it managed to give birth to life.

Hope.

As she leaned against the wall, Vi gazed upon the big tree in front of her, focusing her attention on the gentle dance of the green leaves. Of course, she has seen trees before, in Piltover and on photographs, but never in Zaun.

In a way, she was both surprised and impressed with Ekko finding this place. She always thought she knew the city like the back of her hand, yet she had never stumbled over here. How many places were like that in the Undercity? How many places remained hidden, waiting to become a symbol of a new beginning?

"Your mind seems far away", a voice sounded next to her and Vi turned to her right, only to find Caitlyn's smiling face. Despite her gentle expression, there was a spark of worry in her eyes.

Interesting girl was she. One who has grown up in a closed bubble, protected by her family's money and influence, yet there was a fire inside of her, that made her different from the stereotypical Piltover person. She had a deep sense of justice and despite seeing the worst of Zaun, instead of turning her head to the side, she wanted to dig deeper and to know more.

Vi would lie if she said she did not judge her in the beginning. She was sure Caitlyn would not survive more than an hour down here. However, the girl kept making her raise her brows in surprise, completely changing her views about the people in the Topside.

"It is", the pink-haired girl finally answered, letting out a soft sigh in the process, "Somewhere far. Somewhere better."

And with someone else.

Biting her lip, she turned her attention to the few streaks of grass poking near her feet. She grasped one, pulling it out and bringing it in front of her eyes. Twirling it a few times, she carefully examined it, noting how the end was starting to turn yellow.

There was minute during which each of the women seemed to be lost in their own thoughts. Finally, Caitlyn laid her palm on Vi's back, rubbing small circles on top of the clothed skin. She remained silent, but her gesture managed to ease the tension in the other female's muscles.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Vi shook her head, his eyes still focused on the little piece of grass in her fingers.

God, she wanted to talk. She needed to talk. But what was weighing on her mind, was something she couldn't share with anyone. Especially Caitlyn.

"No, I will be fin-"

"YOU LYING SNAKE!"

Before Vi could realise what was happening, she found herself on the floor pinned by your trembling body. The eyes, once so full of gentle love, which haunted her dreams almost every night, were now staring down at her full of rage. As your name rolled off her tongue, another set of hands got involved by grabbing you by the shoulders.

"Hey! Get off her!"

Whipping your head back, your eyes narrowed to slits once you saw the blue-haired enforcer. Your nose involuntarily scrunched, a clear sign you were far from happy of what, or more specifically who, was before you.

Ekko has already warned you Vi was back in the city and that she was accompanied by an enforcer, but you did not expect... well, her. In your mind, you had built the picture of an old, grumpy prison officer, not a young and pretty woman. Perhaps, you did not want to believe YOUR girlfriend would be giving someone like her a tour around Zaun, while completely forgetting your existence.

Your name was called again and you looked down, your expression softening once your eyes met those of Vi. Many emotions were swimming inside of them - happiness, guilt, pain, relief - all of which were making you wish for nothing more than to press her against your chest and hold her for hours. Your fingers twitched, but instead of embracing her, you landed a few harsh slaps against her shoulders.

"Stop!", Caitlyn shouted once more, grabbing your vest from the back. Instead of calming you down, however, this enraged you even more and you turned around, slapping her hands away.

The enforcer was not a woman who gave up easily, however.

"I demand you to stop!", your body froze as the command left her lips. You stayed still for a few seconds, during which only your heavy panting and the distant shouts of the children around the base could be heard.

"You demand me?", the words came out as a loud scoff and you lifted yourself from Vi, while eyeing the other girl with a mix of irritation and disbelief. With one long stride, you closed the distance between you and gabbed the front of her jacket.

"I demand you to shut your mouth and get your little ass out of here before I kick it so hard, you'll regret ever coming to the Undercity!"

Before things could escalate, you were pulled away by Vi, who held her arms tight around you, while nodding her head toward Caitlyn.

"Cait, give us-Stop it, damn it!", she groaned, tightening her hold, "Cait give us a few minutes!"

The blue-eyed enforcer stood frozen in her place, her worried gaze shifting from her friend to you and then back. You still fought back against Vi's grip, ignoring the feelings of warmth and nostalgia that you felt by being so close to her.

"Please?", the pink-haired woman said again and reluctantly, Caitlyn started walking slowly backward. Once she was far from earshot, Vi released her grip on you and took a step back, giving you some space. She opened her mouth to speak, but you were faster.

Without a word, you turned around and smacked your palm against her cheek. Her head whipped to the side and for a moment, it remained there, frozen. The usually pale skin flushed a deep red where your hand had made contact and your hand trembled, before hiding inside the warm comfort of your pants' pocket.

"I probably deserve that...", Vi mumbled, moving her jaw left and right while she rubbed the sore spot on her face. She took a shaky breath, regaining her composure, before lifting her face. With the corner of her eyes, she could see Caitlyn eyeing both of you with worry and she lifted her hand toward her, a gesture to show her she did not need to intervene. Yet.

The subtle communication did not stay hidden from you and let out an angry huff, before shaking your head. Rarely have you felt such intense emotions, especially since that night when... No. You couldn't go back down this memory lane. Not again.

"Oh, you deserve way more than that!", your tongue pushed against your cheek, biting back all of the colourful insults that were resting on the tip of it. The memories of all those lonely nights you spent crying, mourning, and wondering what happened to her, now hung between you like a dark cloud. No matter how much you have prepared to face her once again, all self-control and reason left your mind as soon as you laid your eyes on her.

"I know you're hurt, but please give me a chance to explain!", her voice was low and soft, an unusual sound for Vi, "Please, I-"

"What is there to explain? You left! You left me! You left Powder! You left Ekko...", with each name, the pain in your chest felt stronger. You closed your mouth, pressing your lips into a thin line before your gaze involuntarily moved to your right, where in the distance the enforcer was nervously chewing her thumb while keeping her attention glued to both of you.

Narrowing your eyes, you grabbed Vi's hand before starting to drag her toward the nearby wood shack. In the beginning, when you joined the Firelights it was used as a storage for hoverboards, but as the members of your group grew, it was soon abandoned and left to collect dust. It was secluded and most importantly away from prying eyes and ears.

The pink-haired girl followed without resistance, giving a last reassuring nod to the Piltover girl, who was now being led away by another Firelight. From all of the scenarios she imagined through the years about your reunion, you pouncing on her was definitely not on the list. A hug, a kiss, maybe even a chance for her to finally show you how much she actually loved you - those were the fantasies that kept swirling around her head all morning when she thought of how should she handle your first meeting after so many years.

Hearing that you were now part of the Firelights was not a surprise. Just like her, you liked to resolve your problems with your fists, rather than talk, and like many young people part of the group, there was nothing that you wished for more than free Zaun. You were stubborn, hot-headed, and reckless, and gave Vi a headache more than once in the past.

Would she have it any other way, however? Absolutely not!

Despite your tough and fiery nature, you also possessed a surprising softness and gentleness, reserved for those closest to you. She often considered herself lucky by being able to see you like this - open and vulnerable, a harsh contrast with your usual combative demeanour. The memories of your many nights spent together, sharing warm cuddles and soft kisses, while your head rested on her shoulder as you talked about your future dreams, often resurfaced in Vi's mind, reminding her how effortlessly it was for you to make her fall in love with you.

Deep inside she foolishly believed that if she ever got the chance to be released from prison, everything would be the same. Powder would still be her little sister, seeking her approval; Ekko would be their smart-ass best friend, who spent too much time tinkering with random gadgets; and you, her first love and girlfriend, would patiently wait for her arrival, ready to promise her the future which you always dreamt about when you were little.

Now, as she stood in front of your furious figure, she felt almost foolish for having such expectations. Of course you would change, you were forced to, just like everyone else in Zaun. The hardships you had to face at such a young age shaped you into someone colder and more guarded.

"I am sorry."

The words fell quietly from Vi's mouth, as she watched your face, trying to find even a glimpse of the love you once carried for her. All that stared back, however, was fury and disgust.

"You are sorry? That's all you've got to say?", you let out a dry chuckle, your voice ringing with mockery. Crossing your arms in front of your chest, you eyed her up and down, finally having the chance to properly observe her appearance.

Vi has always been a beautiful woman, even if she never seemed to care much about her looks. She never bothered with fancy hairstyles or clothes, preferring practicality and comfort over style. Yet, she possessed a natural attractiveness, one that made you turn your head the first time you saw her.

Your eyes focused on her buzzcut, before sliding down her face and noting the numerous new piercings and a tattoo, that were now covering it. Her eyes, still as piercing as you remembered them, held the same fiery spark as before, despite being clouded by guilt. She was also taller and more muscular, now towering almost a full head above you.

"I didn't leave!", she finally said, her expression hardening, "That night..."

The words got stuck in her throat, as she let out an angry sigh and rubbed her calloused hands on her face. Her body slumped against the wooden wall behind her, the loud thud making you wince.

"That night I was taken against my will", she continued, her voice trembling, "By the Enforcers. I... After seeing the remains of the explosion and Powder, I just needed a minute. Some time to breathe, to realise what had happened..."

The rage that bubbled inside your chest just a minute ago slowly started to evaporate, replaced by a mix of caution and confusion. You never wanted to believe that she abandoned you - for years, you pushed this thought aside, not able to accept the idea that Vi is capable of doing something like this. Not to you or Powder.

But as the time passed, the hope you held that she was just hiding somewhere started to transform into suspicion. Seeing Powder becoming Jinx right in front of your eyes, claiming that her sister deserted her, also did not help ease your mind and soon you started to accept this version of the events more and more.

She left you. Alone.

As she continued speaking, telling you how she was thrown in Stillwater Hold, never prosecuted or charged, and beaten and tortured, your whole body tensed. Her words painted a picture of chaos and pain, something completely different from what you had imagined for her. You always thought that she was living her best life, somewhere far away from Zaun.

"Do you know how many times I thought of giving up? Of just accepting that this was the end?", her eyes lifted toward your face, the raw feelings behind them making your breath catch in your throat, "But then I thought of you. Of Powder. And I knew I had to find a way back to you."

Her words hung in the air, and there was a minute of silence, during which you assimilated what she had said. A part of you wished for your initial belief to be true - you spend such a long time resenting her for abandoning you, and to a certain extent you even made your peace with it. But now, as she spoke her truth, you were left both confused and heartbroken.

How could you deal with that?

"I thought I would never see you again", you finally said, your voice sounding way softer and gentler than it was before, "That you are living your life somewhere else... with someone else."

Vi's brows furrowed at your admission and she pushed herself away from the wall, before taking a few steps toward you.

"Did you really believe I would do that?", her accusation made you shrink in your place, "That I would just leave you and Powder by yourself? That I don't care?"

The mention of her sister sent a pang of sorrow through your heart. Everyone knew how hard it was for you to witness her transformation, especially since you fought for years to save her from Silco's influence and twisted games. It took a long time for you to accept the painful truth that she was beyond saving.

"Have you seen Powder?", you asked, your voice barely above a whisper, "Do you know what she has become?"

Her gaze fell down at her feet and she weakly moved her head up and down. Despite seeing it with her own eyes, it all still felt unreal. If she controlled her anger that night, if she never screamed at her sibling, if she didn't step back from her... Maybe everything would've been different.

"I tried, Vi", you shook your head, unable to even look at her eyes, "I tried so hard, but Silco had his claws in her mind, filling it with lies. I couldn't... I couldn't save her. I don't know if anyone can. Even you..."

The woman's face fell - this was the second time she was told there was no hope for her sister anymore. She wanted to argue, to tell you that she could reach her, save her, but deep down she knew what your response was going to be. You were always honest to a fault, wearing your heart on your sleeve, and while Vi always loved that about you, she was not ready to hear the truth. Even if she already knew it.

Closing the gap between you, she cupped your cheek, gently running her thumb across the skin. You instinctively leaned toward it, seeking the feeling of warmth and comfort that you have been missing for so many years.

"I know", she said, still caressing your face, "It's not your fault. You did everything you could."

Her words were meant to comfort, but all they did was add the final drop to the already overflowing pool of emotions bubbling inside your chest. You leaped forward, circling your arms around her taller frame and burying your face in her chest. Hot tears were now flowing from your eyes, a result of years of silent suffering. Loud sobs escaped your lips, and you felt her strong arms wrapping around you, pulling you closer in a protective embrace.

"I missed you!", your words were muffled by your face being pressed against her shirt, "I missed you so much, Vi! I.. I thought I would never see you again!"

Her grip tightened and she buried her nose in your hair, inhaling deeply. The sweet scent of strawberry and cream filled her senses and she smiled, finding comfort in the fact that even years later, you still used the same shampoo. After being hit with the harsh reality of what Zaun has become, she welcomed this familiarity, even if it was a small one.

"I missed you too!", she murmured in your hair, before pressing a tender kiss on top of your head, "It's all going to be alright. I promise! I am here now."

You knew you shouldn't hope - after all, in the past it brought you only hurt and despair. But as she continued whispering sweet promises next to your ear, you couldn't help but cling to them, allowing yourself to believe that maybe, just maybe, there is a chance for you both.

"I would never leave you again!", her voice became harsher, filled with determination, "Whatever happens, I will always be by your side!"

Closing your eyes, you nodded your head, pressing your face even further into her chest. Your breathing was now calmer and the tears had dried on your cheeks, leaving salty trails behind them. If only you could freeze time and stay in this moment forever...

Suddenly your body tensed and you pulled yourself harshly from her embrace, leaving Vi shocked and surprised by the sudden movement.

"What about the enforcer girl?", your face scrunched in disgust as the words fell out of your lips, "Who is she... to you?"

The young woman blinked a few times, taken aback by your bluntness and the sudden coldness in your voice.

"Caitlyn?", the sound of her name made you roll your eyes, "She is... a friend. She helped me get out of Stillwater."

Your brow quirked and your arms crossed in front of your chest, as if protecting you from the idea that there may be something more between them. Ekko has briefly told you what he knew about her and how she seemed to be different from the other enforcers, but even he still had certain reservations when it came to her real intentions and her relationship to Vi.

"Just a friend? Is that all she is to you?"

The pink-haired woman stared long and hard at your face, somewhat amused by your questioning. She bit her lip, trying to suppress her smirk, but she couldn't control the way the corners of her lips twitched upwards.

"Violet!", the sound of you using her full name pulled her attention to your face and she reached out to you again, resting her hands on your waist, "Violet, I am being serious!"

She took a deep breath, fighting the urge to just pull you closer and shut your mouth, stopping you from asking such silly things. Her gaze bored into yours and her fingers squeezed the soft flesh under them.

"Caitlyn has been a great friend and a partner in crime...", she explained, pulling you closer to her, "But she is not you! I am not interested in her in that way."

With narrowed eyes, you studied her face for any signs of her lying, before reluctantly nodding your head. Slowly you lifted your arms, before wrapping them around her neck and immediately starting to play with the ends of her short locks.

"C'mon, I have a girlfriend, who do you think I am?", Vi finally let out a soft laugh, leaning her face toward yours and nudging your nose with hers. A light blush covered your cheeks and the tip of your ears at the sound of the word "girlfriend". After so many years apart, you were not even sure if she still considered you as such.

"A girlfriend, huh? She must be lucky!"

She grinned, moving one of her hands behind your neck, while the other one remained gripping your waist.

"I think I am the lucky one."

She closed the distance between you, pressing her chapped lips against yours and pouring all of the pent up frustration and love she held for you. Closing your eyes, you melted in her embrace, completely intoxicated by the familiar taste of her. The hand behind your neck pushed you even closer to her, resulting in a harsh battle of teeth and tongues, during which she easily dominated you.

When you finally pulled back, both of you rested your foreheads against each other, while trying to catch your breaths. You opened your eyes, immediately meeting those of Vi. Dragging your hand from behind her neck to her cheek, you rubbed it affectionately, smiling once she nudged it with her head.

"If you disappear again, I will hunt you down", you say half-seriously, half-jokingly, "And I will kick your ass!"

A wide grin formed on her face.

"I wouldn't even dream of it."

cc artwork: Shuo Shi

#vi arcane #vi x reader #vi x y/n #arcane imagine #vi arcane x reader #arcane fanfic #arcane request

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shaesinflames · 9 months ago

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🌥️ Rainbow Factory Infection AU🌥️

Hello everypony!! Ive been loving the infection stuff and wanted to jump onto the trend myself with an AU that came to me very suddenly. I'm gonna try and get all my thoughts out here:

☁️ Scootaloo fails her flying assessment by getting disqualified for checking on her injured friend who had crashed during their turn. The two of them get taken to the Rainbow Factory as a punishment for their failure, and quickly realize the deadly situation they're in.

🌈 There are few dozen pegasi there already. All of their wings have been torn off of them, their cutiemarks are branded over, and chains are fastened around either their legs or neck. They all seem so... dull. As if the color has been stolen from them.

☁️ Rainbow Dash enters to examine the new sacrifices, and is mortified when she sees Scootaloo. She had trained her every day to prevent this from happening; she never wanted the pony she thought of as a little sister to end up here. Dash had to quickly decide if she was more loyal to her career, or to her friends.

🌈 She chooses Scootaloo. This does not go over well. Whether you enter the Rainbow Factory as a prisoner or an employee, you were not allowed to leave until you died. Rainbow Dash grabs Scootaloo and attempts to flee with her.

☁️ A chase ensues. She realizes that even if they do escape, they wouldn't be free. They would be hunted for as long as the factory existed. The answer suddenly seems obvious. Dash veers away from the exit and heads deeper into the building, straight for the core.

🌈 Because of her high status in the company (and a lot of kicking), Rainbow Dash gets into the restricted access room and corrupts the core, sparking a reactor meltdown. Her and Scootaloo manage to escape seconds before the core collapses, and the Rainbow Factory is lost to the rainbows it created.

☁️ Not long after, ponies begin to emerge from the ruins. Well, they seem to still be ponies. Mostly ponies. The Inital Victims. The pegasi who had been deemed useless and dispensable in one way or another, and had been put through torture for weeks or months in order to drain them of their very magic and soul.

🌈 The Victims seem to have a symbiotic relationship with the Rainbow Infection in their body. They live just out of reach of death; gaunt and hollow, yet somehow surviving. Blind, weak, and terrified, they seem to believe they're still trapped in the factory, and will viciously maul any living being they sense with a newfound strength. So far, they don't seem to be curable, or killable.

☁️ The Infected pegasi have a much more unpleasant experience. Every waking moment is nothing but agony as the infection consumes their magic and feast on their vessel, reducing them to nothing more than another fluffy white cloud looming in the sky.

🌈 The Infected aren't hostile, and seem to still be lucid up until their death. However, they are incredibly contagious, and the final stage of the infection seems to be designed specifically to further the disease.

☁️ Unicorns and Earth ponies are completely immune to the Rainbow Infection. Alicorns are not. The princess's have been barricaded in Celestia's castle to protect them all.

🌈 Without any pegasi to moderate the weather, it has become increasingly unpredictable and harsh, making typical farm work almost impossible. The Survivors are getting low on rations, and they're getting desperate and hungry.

I think thats about it. Idk at the time of writing this its 3am lol.

#tw body horror #my little pony friendship is magic #my little pony infection au #mlp fim #my little pony #mlp au #infection au #rainbow factory #rainbow factory au #shaes art #procreate #digital art #alternate universe

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hochsleep · 2 months ago

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Relationship with Daryl Dixon (headcanons)

This is my first experience writing headcanons, but I have a lot to say! And yes, I used a gif from Beth, but we don't support that pairing here, guys.....

Also, thanks to the author of the gif!

Pronouns: she/her (fem!reader) / (I'll do headcanons for Daryl's relationship for gender-neutral readers later on)

Pairing: Daryl Dixon/fem!reader (Y/N)

Warnings: no, not this time. Everything is decent (underage readers can read)

• Daryl Dixon is far from stupid. I mean, he can certainly tell the difference between romantic interest and friendly sympathy. He has Carol, his best friend, and he knows that he feels for her the kind of platonic friendly love he usually feels for a family member. But that's not the case with you. Sure, you've most likely known Daryl for a long time (assuming you joined Rick's group at any point from Atlanta to Prison, can pick at your discretion). So since you've known each other for a while, Daryl has had time to realize that his feelings for you are far from friendly. All the tenderness and care that he feels for you hardly compares to friendship. Daryl definitely didn't feel like kissing Carol's lips every time she came into his field of vision. That's the difference.

• But realizing your feelings is only halfway there. Daryl isn't the type to make the first move and declare his love. He's a very insecure person because of his past, so it would be hard for him to believe that someone like you would want someone like him. Daryl will just watch over you from the sidelines, he will make sure you are safe and will always be there to protect you. Even if it's just a harmless fall down the stairs when you were arranging jars of canned fruit on the top shelf in the Alexandria pantry. He will notice that the stepladder beneath you is wobbling dangerously and will be there to catch you and prevent you from bruising any part of your body. He will take great care of you.

• Daryl is probably the type of man who idolizes and admires the girl he's in love with. Both her character and inner world, as well as her looks. He would spend hours just looking at your unconditionally beautiful face. Every mole, every freckle, every wrinkle in the corner of your eyes when you smile. God, he could never get enough. Every part of you is perfect. Daryl's not sure he's ever seen a more beautiful woman. I mean, he probably had a soft spot for women he personally thought were pretty in the past, but it was never more than a glance in their direction. Just trying to say that Daryl isn't a pristine and innocent man who never thought about women. Over the many years of his maybe not the most prosperous life, Daryl has definitely had his fair share of beautiful women. But it had always been respectful. Mental admiration from the sidelines. Daryl never "barked" or "bit" like Merle. Daryl is much more respectful of women.

• That's why he likes to watch from the sidelines and think about you. A lot of thinking. Daryl is indeed a man of few words, but he has more than enough to think about. And when he falls in love, you become the center. Except when Daryl has to think about survival or when he and Rick are making a plan of action to save the group. But rest assured, all of Daryl's free time is spent thinking about you. He's very observant and remembers every little thing about you so he can think about it later. Do you like to read? Daryl will listen to you talk about your favorite books and find them during one of your outings, rest assured. Do you like wildflowers? Great, a bouquet of a hundred of them will be waiting for you on the doorstep of your Alexandria home when you come home after a hard day's work. Maybe you like a certain kind of clothing? Like something knit? Daryl will either find it during the outing or ask Carol to help with it when she's not busy. He won't say who it's for, but Carol certainly knows. And after you get those little gifts, Daryl will watch you smile widely because you know who left them under your door. And Daryl will think about your smile until he falls asleep at night. But he'll only dream about you, too.

• Somehow you were the first to admit your feelings because Daryl is actually cowardly about these things. A man can take on walkers or hostile people with his bare hands (like the Saviors), but he definitely can't just go and tell someone he really likes how he feels. No, you have to push him. And hints aren't enough, you have to say it outright. And then probably prove the sincerity of your words of love for the rest of your life, because Daryl Dixon is a very insecure man. He knows in his brain that you really do love him and will be faithful to him, but those childhood traumas are really getting in the way of his life. Be prepared for that.

• Your relationship with Daryl will gain momentum gradually. I don't think Daryl really likes all these formalities and labels like "girlfriend" and "boyfriend". You're just his and he's just yours. There's no need to complicate it all, the world of the zombie apocalypse is already very complicated. But if you care about dates and formalities, surely Daryl can learn to take it seriously. Not right away, but he will. Just give him time and he'll lay the whole world at your feet. And he'll start marking your anniversary with a marker on his calendar so that he definitely won't miss this important day for you (he won't admit it, but for him too). Daryl will be learning and you'll have to be a good mentor in this relationship for the first few years. It will be worth it, trust me.

• Daryl Dixon gets attached to people easily. He's like a big loyal dog. I mean, have you seen how loyal he is to Rick and Carol? He bites at first, doesn't want to let anyone in, but eventually he gives in and lets you take his heart and soul under his protection. Take care of that. My point is that this is the same way love works in Daryl's case. I'm pretty sure Daryl doesn't believe in the concept of love at first sight and stuff, he rather believes that love only comes about through the process of a relationship. So at first he thinks you are just a pretty woman. Then a friend. Then a good friend. And yes, he may feel sympathy, affection and probably crush at this time, but not love. No, he falls in love with you gradually. It's a slow process, but in Daryl's case it will be forever. He's definitely a one-woman man. And when he allows himself to really love you and not just be a little bit in love, when his heart completely belongs to you and he finally says "I love you" with all seriousness and responsibility, rest assured that this is love. This man will show you what true love is. Safe, sincere, and endlessly committed. Just give him time. Let him love you.

• The following headcanon (though I think it's unqualified canon) about Daryl's loyalty follows from this. You may try to be jealous of him or think he'll fall in love with someone else (it all depends on your confidence), but Daryl will prove time and time again that he's only loyal to you. This man is serious about his and your feelings and your relationship. Therefore, he will not give not a single reason for jealousy. But there could be quite a few women around (and men probably too) who might like Daryl. He doesn't care, he will never look at anyone else. Why would he do that when he has you? You're perfect for him and his heart doesn't belong to him anymore. So if Daryl notices your jealousy and insecurity, he'll spend all his time trying to prove to you that you're the one for him. He's deeply committed. To Rick, to Carol, to Maggie, to Alexandria. He's eternally devoted to you.

• The relationship with Daryl will be full of complexities, let's not turn a blind eye to that. He's a complicated man with a lot of trauma behind him. The situation is more acute if you're a complicated person, too. There's a lot to put up with. Probably a lot of fighting at the beginning of the relationship, especially if we're talking about Daryl from the first seasons of the show. But if you're both willing to work on that relationship, it will work well. Again, not right away, but it will. Daryl is sure that his love for you will be enough for both of you and certainly for solving all your problems in this relationship. He will try his best for you and you will try your best for him too.

• Physical intimacy is probably going to be difficult. Daryl's not a fan of close physical contact, especially with someone he can't call his family. You know, the boy had a shitty childhood. But he feels the need to feel the warmth of your skin on his skin. So he may unknowingly touch you before your relationship even begins. It could just be a "casual" hand collision when you both reached for the same item on the shelf. Or he may lightly touch your shoulder when he needs to get your attention and say something to you. You shouldn't pressure him with this and force a hug or anything like that. He will definitely come to it on his own when he's comfortable and he sees that you're okay with it. As your relationship progresses, he will open up to new types of physical contact more quickly. Sure he'll hug you a lot, try to hold your hand in his, but it's all in private. And of course kissing. I think Daryl actually likes kissing, but he's not very good at it for lack of much experience. Teach him how to kiss well if you have enough experience yourself. He'll be a good student. Especially when it comes to lessons involving his lips on yours. I'm pretty sure Daryl will become very clingy as your relationship progresses. When you're alone together, he won't be able to feel comfortable unless his arms are around you in one way or another. He physically needs to hold you, to bump his nose into your neck and hair to smell your scent, which he loves so much. And of course kissing. Gentle kisses or passionate French kisses, he loves it all.

• Daryl definitely doesn't like the display of attachment on the publick. He considers it yours and his alone. Something private that needs to be kept out of the public eye. Well, he's also pissed off by those ambiguous looks Carol and Rick give him after you call him "baby" or "cutie" in public. But Daryl is willing to hold your hands and will even let you kiss him on the cheek in public if he's in a good mood. He'll save the rest for the two of you alone in your sweet home in Alexandria.

• As for intimacy, everything is ambiguous here. I think for Daryl it is not at all a mandatory aspect of the relationship. If you are asexual, he will have absolutely no problem with this. You are more than enough. The opportunity to see you smile, hug you and make you happy is all he needs. Sex is not necessary and Daryl can definitely live without it if you are not interested in sexual relations. But if you are not against it, then he will be happy to please you. I mean, he does it every day just by existing and loving you, but if he can please you in a sexual sense, he will be happy to do so. But again, not right away. You both will go to this gradually. Trial and error. Only when he completely opens up to you and is not ashamed of his scars, knowing that you love them completely and completely because they are a part of him. But most importantly, when you yourself tell him that you are also ready, then you can act. Daryl has some experience. Merle ordered Daryl... a prostitute for his twenty-first birthday and Daryl had to do it. I think he was the one feeling like a prostitute, not the woman. And maybe he's slept with random women from a bar a couple of times after drinking too much. But it was never anything special and not out of great desire. With you, it's different. Sex with you is his way of showing you love in a new way. Either way, he knows how it works, but you still need to guide him. Show him how you like it and help him the first few times. Daryl is a quick learner, especially if you help him. So pretty soon he'll memorize all the right places and positions to make you feel good as hell, nothing less. Daryl will make sure that you feel good first.

• Your comfort is Daryl's absolute priority. Over the years, he will learn to compromise and give in when necessary. Daryl loves you unconditionally and is ready to be on his knees in front of you, this is what you have done to him with your love and tenderness. Daryl Dixon has become soft and fluffy around you. Just for you. Merle would call him a pansy and laugh, but Daryl doesn't care. Not anymore. You're all he cares about.

• You're his safe place. His home. His heart and soul belong to you, take care of it. And then Daryl Dixon will move mountains for you, you bet he will.

~ A cute little headcanon as a bonus: I honestly think the soundtrack of the relationship with Daryl, is the song: The Goo Goo Dolls - Iris.

#daryl dixon #daryl dixon headcanons #twd #the walking dead #daryl dixon x reader

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meanbossart · 5 months ago

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what was everyones endings in your du drow playthrough? like did they live happily ever after or did some of them parish from the narrative

-Lae'zel died in Act 1, DU drow slashed her throat after she tried to murder-suicide the camp out of fear of turning into a mindflayer.

-Gale sought out the crown. In the game's canon this means he immediately ascends to Godhood but in my personal narrative (I finished the game before the epilogue was out) he goes on to research it while having to flee Mystra's wrath by any means necessary for several years before anything can actually happen.

-Wyll broke his pact with Mizora. They also rescued his dad from the prisons after going down there and realizing he was still alive (despite her best efforts) this was mostly for rubbing-on-Mizora's-face purposes LOL

-Karlach died at the docks because of her engine after the brain was felled.

-Shadowheart sacrificed her parents and for a while travels alongside DU drow and Astarion, events from A Novel Experience proceed.

-Astarion killed Cazador, was persuaded not to ascend and freed both the seven thousand marks and his spawn siblings. Events from A Novel Experience proceed.

-Barcus got flung through the sky and died from rough-landing-itis.

-The gang sided with the mercenary duergar at Grymforge and killed Nere. The gnomes that didn't die remained enslaved to the duergar.

-They saved Arabella both at the tiefling grove and at the shadow-cursed lands.

-The rest of the gnomes at Moonrise Towers and the tieflings from the grove were never rescued, so I think that means they died. Zevlor was freed from his illithid tank and I'm sure he's dealing wonderfully with that information.

-Halsin stayed behind in Act 2 since they never rid the land of the curse. Good luck with that buddy!

-Jaheira came along into Act 3 because these guys need at least One adult present (and herself and DU drow loved bickering).

-They made an alliance with Gortash but didn't honor it, killing him at his tower later after disabling the steelwatch.

-Yenna was captured by Orin and died at Bhaal's temple.

-They killed Lorrokan AND Rolan and I'm sure Isobel and Aylin lived happily ever after.

-Raphael died, Hope survived.

-Minsc was rescued because mom said so. I'm sure he's out there Minsc-ing around right this moment.

-They betrayed the Emperor and freed Orpheus, who had to take on the task of becoming Ilithid himself.

-DU drow killed Orpheus.

EDIT: Nothing happened to Kagha because I didn't pursue her quest, I was mixing things up with another run of mine.

#Boy what a mess LOL #thanks for the question this was honestly interesting to revisit #ask #du drow lore #bg3 spoilers

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eldritchgriffin · 1 year ago

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I was confused, at first, why today's Re: Dracula episode was called "My Jonathan." It's cute that Mina calls him that, but it's a fairly minor line especially compared to everything else that happens this entry. But then I got to the line itself and ooooohhhhh no. I get it. It's so much more haunting with the double meaning from Mina and Dracula.

Mina's Jonathan: the man who she loves most in the world. The only person she has left from before Dracula came to England. The man who would do anything for her, who would rather become a vampire, the thing he despises most, than let her be a vampire alone. Who will follow her through life, and death, and beyond.

Dracula's Jonathan: the prisoner trapped in his castle for months. The man who played along with whatever games Dracula created. Who was just a plaything he claimed to love, yet abandoned without a care as soon as he had a new set of toys waiting for him. The only one to survive a direct attack from him (bar Mina, for now), yet who never truly escaped. Who is still trapped, even now. Who will hunt Dracula to the ends of the Earth.

Mina's Jonathan. Dracula's Jonathan.

"My Jonathan."

#dracula #re: dracula #jonathan harker #mina harker #count dracula #Dracula November 4

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invisibleanonymousmonsters · 6 months ago

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chapter xxv – gust & flame

Eris Vanserra x Reader

Eris Vanserra has been a prisoner in his own home since the day he was born. He has done what he had to in order to survive and protect the few he loves. And he is playing the long game. Waiting, waiting, and waiting for the right time to make his move, to usurp his wicked father and become High Lord of Autumn Court. But things become even more complicated when a human girl drops into his life. Perhaps Eris can wait no longer to take his throne.

Word Count: 4,100+

masterlist

Y/N wanted to wake up to Eris’ warmth wrapped around her, to have his autumn scent taking over her senses once again, and his strong arms reminding her that she was protected, safe.

But Eris had left hours ago – and so stealthily that Y/N had no idea when.

Instead, Y/N had shot up in bed breathing heavily.

There had been a surge of power. So strong that it jolted the witch from her deep sleep.

Both her movements and the surge woke Ronan up, growling as if there was danger in the bedroom.

“Eris,” Y/N breathed.

Somehow she knew the power had erupted from him.

Something was wrong – very wrong. Even the night Eris had defeated Beron, even the night Y/N followed him deep into the forest to test his new strength…she had never felt such power come from Eris.

If he were using it now, then he was under some sort of attack.

Y/N jumped out of bed, flinging off her nightgown and threw on trousers and a tunic – quicker than worrying herself with a dress or a damn corset.

If she was off to battle, she would order a sentry to fetch her the same armor Eris had forced upon her before.

But Y/N needn’t look far, for as soon as she flung the door open, she was met with a handful of sentries standing guard outside her chambers.

Amongst them were all of Eris’ smoke hounds. And as soon as they heard their master’s mate open the door, they had shot to their feet and whined with anticipation.

Y/N’s eyes raced amongst the sentries, half expecting Lucien to be with them.

But Eris’ brother was nowhere to be found, which meant he was surely with him.

“Where is the High Lord?” She asked curtly.

“There was rebellion in Drumenthoul,” the highest ranking responded quickly. She recognized him well enough to know his name: Captain Respen.

Her brow furrowed. “Lord Muiris’ demesne?”

“Yes, my lady. It is one of Autumn Court’s largest cities. Its subjects attacked the manor of the late lord, after they heard of the attack on you. His son retaliated, using what was left of his father’s army to wreak havoc on his own people. But it appeared to be an attempt at a trap.”

Y/N’s stomach dropped. “Walk with me,” she ordered all of them.

Instantly, they fell into step with her.

“Ready my horse with my weapons,” she continued. One of the sentry rushed ahead to do as she asked, making his way to the stables. “I must go to him.” Then she looked at Captain Respen and silently told him to continue.

“Before the attacks started, Lord Muiris’ son had called for reinforcements...from any Lord who did not agree with the High Lord’s usurping.”

“They knew Eris would aid his people and they used that to lure him intro a trap with a bigger enemy than he could have anticipated,” Y/ noted aloud.

“Precisely, my lady.” He didn’t hide how impressed he was with her intelligence. She had the makings of a High Lord's wife, despite her mortal and witchling upbringing.

“Do not fear though, Lady Y/N. Eris anticipated such an attack. He brought his best infantry.” Respen hesitated before he added, “And he has gained much power since becoming High Lord.”

Y/N knew Respen was trying to calm her, to assure her Eris couldn’t be in danger. But no words would calm her.

“And you were left behind to guard me?” Annoyance was clear in her voice.

“Protecting the High Lord’s mate is no lowly task, Lady Y/N. It is a great honor. The High Lord will take no chances at you being attacked while he is preoccupied with civil war. It would be the exact time for an assassination attempt.”

When they reached the courtyard, Aengus was indeed ready, with her sword, bow, and satchel of arrows attached to the saddle.

But Y/N suddenly remembered that Drumenthoul was on the north coast of the court.

She had included cardiography in her Autumn Court studies. And it would take days to reach.

Why had no one said anything?

“Can someone winnow me?” She asked.

All the soldiers shifted uncomfortably, not meeting her gaze.

Captain Respen was the one who broke the silence. “We are under strict orders to do no such thing.”

He at least had the decency to look guilty about it.

That was why no one had questioned her orders to grab her mount: she would never get close to the danger in time.

“Lucien is with them?” She asked quietly.

He nodded.

“So I am to just wait here?”

Before anyone could answer her, there was another surge of power.

Between the courtyard of the Forest House and the outer gates, there was a half mile.

But despite the distance, Y/N could see him – no – she could feel Eris. And she sensed that something was not right.

The next second, she was jumping onto Aengus, and digging her heels into gelding. The horse needed no other signals to throw him into a run.

“Accompany Lady Y/N,” was the last thing Y/N heard before she was in the forests and meadows between the courtyard and outer wall.

When she was close enough to take in her mate, she noted that while Eris was walking on his own, his entire body was tense.

A gust of wind hit her. “He is injured…faebane…faebane…faebane.”

Another gust of wind. “He took…his beastly form.”

Y/N had heard of the High Lord’s beast form from a night of drinking with Cassian. He tried to scare her by sharing the murderous creatures she could stumble upon in the Prythian wilderness.

“But none are more terrifying than the beasts of High Lords," he had whispered to her for dramatic effect. Then went into great detail of the few times in his centuries when he witnessed Rhysand’s own beastly form.

Y/N still didn’t know much about them, but she did know it drained one's power. It was no parlor trick, but a skill that only a powerful High Lord could wield – and use sparingly.

That must have been the blast of power that had woken her up.

When she was just a few yards away, Y/N swung her leg over the side of the saddle and jumped while Aengus still cantered and had yet to come to a stop.

“Eris!” Y/N gasped at the sight of him.

Though he walked on his own, Lucien watched his eldest brother with caution a few steps behind him.

And now Y/N could see that Eris had at least twenty arrows sticking out of his back.

Then she heard the galloping of her guard catching up to them.

As soon as Eris’ spotted them, his posture straightened even more.

He does not want to appear weak in front of his men, Y/N realized.

“The infantry?” Y/N asked the two of them.

“Only a handful lost,” Lucien told her. “But many injured. They are being winnowed. The rest will return on horseback.”

Y/N turned to her guard. “Ready the infirmary tents! The injured will be returning any moment. Have a female alert the human women that I will need their help. They will know what to prepare.”

Captain Respen barked orders at the others, but he and another lingered.

“Leave us,” she ordered them, more harshly than she ever would if the situation did not call for it.

Respen eyed Eris.

“Do as my mate demands, Captain.” The High Lord finally spoke.

Y/N was surprised by how strong his voice sounded, when it was becoming more and more clear to her how much pain he was in.

Respen and his lieutenant nodded before galloping back to the Forest House.

Once they were out of eyesight, Eris fell to his hands and knees.

“Eris!” Y/N whispered, not wanting any fae senses picking up their panic.

“For Cauldron’s sake!” Lucien growled as he helped his brother off the ground with Y/N.

Y/N carefully put one of his arms over his shoulder, while Lucien did the same with his other arm.

“How bad?” She hissed.

“I shall live,” Eris muttered.

His pale skin was not its usual glow, but sickly looking. His hair was covered in mud and blood – and she could only hope most of it was not his.

“It’s the faebane,” she acknowledged.

Eris and Lucien looked at her with surprise. But she ignored them.

“Can you ride?” She whispered to Eris.

He gave her a shaky nod. “Behind you,” he clarified.

She nodded and whistled for Aengus. “Lucien, help me get him in the saddle.”

Y/N climbed on first, and pulled him up as Lucien lifted from the ground.

Eris growled at the pain, making her heart race with panic.

As soon as he was sitting, Y/N gave orders. “Lucien, get a cot brought to my witchery. Do it yourself and tell no one. Discretion is key.”

Lucien nodded and winnowed to the Forest House.

“You want to show them how strong you are, then show them,” Y/N muttered before she urged Aengus into a gallop.

When they got closer, she softly urged him. “Take the reigns.”

Eris did as she said.

Y/N knew why Eris did not winnow back into the Forest House on his own. She knew why he would not show pain, despite his back being littered with faebane-poisoned arrows. There were those who still questioned his power. Therefore, he would not show weakness.

Instead, it looked like two lovers returning after sharing a relieved embrace.

Y/N jumped down from Aengus and handed the horses to a stableboy, making sure not to watch Eris with worry as he dismounted on his own.

“Make sure all the healers have been alerted,” Eris told his sentries. Then he looked over his shoulder of the forest and meadow they had just come from.

With the wave of his hand, a hundred tents appeared out of nowhere. Healer tents for the injured that would soon be brought back.

“Come,” Y/N offered her hand to her mate.

Eris didn’t hesitate, taking it and letting her lead him into the Forest House.

——

Y/N had offered Eris a pain relieving tonic, but he refused it.

Not having time to argue with him, she fluttered about her witchery, brewing a potion and cutting herbs.

All while Eris sat patiently on the cot Lucien had snuck in.

Within minutes, Y/N had a healing paste ready.

“The arrows,” she gulped. “Shall I remove them one by one or all at once?”

Eris met her gaze over her shoulder, “All at once.”

“I will help,” Lucien offered.

“Touch me with your grimy hands and I will set you alight,” Eris growled in warning.

Y/N ignored the outburst. “Ready?” She whispered.

He nodded.

But Y/N moved in front of him and crouched before him. She took both of his hands in her own, squeezing them lovingly.

She closed her eyes and started chanting a spell.

And Eris immediately felt his back start to heat.

Even as a bystander, Lucien felt the witch’s power fill the room.

Eris almost forgot he was about to suffer, too enamored with watching his mate take over with her magic.

Y/N’s eyes snapped open, but they looked at no one and nothing.

Lucien watched as they glazed over in white, which they had all put together was only when she was stretching her magic to new and powerful heights.

And then, as if there was an invisible lasso around all of the two dozen arrows in his back, Y/N’s spell got louder and then abruptly stopped. Along with her spell ending, the arrows were all ripped from Eris’ back in one pull.

But the only noise that came from the High Lord was a low growl.

Y/N gasped at the exertion of power, and was quickly trying to catch her breath.

But her eyes had returned to normal.

Lucien leaned over to look at Eris’ back. “Well, you sure got all of them.” Then he bent down to pick up the fallen arrows from the ground, burning them in his palm until they were ash.

“You better clean that up,” Y/N warned as she saw it flutter to the floor.

She turned her attention back to Eris. “Alright?”

He just nodded.

“I must clean the wounds individually now,” she told him gently. “Some will need stitching, but not many.”

Silence filled the room as the real work began. Y/N treated Eris’ wounds as if he were made of glass. She was gentle and kind, always giving him a moment when his body tensed with pain. But he never complained and barely made a sound.

“It was not…it was not how it should be,” Lucien finally spoke after some time. He was sitting on the ground now, knees propped up as he watched from the corner.

“What do you mean?” Y/N asked with confusion.

Lucien watched Eris, who would not meet his gaze. “Beron’s beast form was that of a multi-tailed fox – still a tremendous size – and with the wings of an owl. Smaller than the beasts of the other High Lords, but still ever so deadly.”

Y/N’s eyes narrowed. “And…?”

But Lucien didn’t speak.

“I was something else,” Eris finally answered, trying to pass through the subject.

“Something more,” Lucien corrected darkly.

“I don’t understand,” she admitted quietly.

But Eris just stared at the ground, his face emotionless.

Lucien cleared his throat awkwardly, but continued. “He too turned into a fox, but that of a bear – something to rival even Tamlin. He had the antlers of our court’s stag. And the flames…he was engulfed in flames.”

Was it fear in Lucien’s tone... or awe? Y/N couldn’t figure it out.

Lucien finally finished with, "The arrows you pulled from his back are just those of hundreds that failed to take him down.”

“Then I shall thank this beast when I see him,” Y/N snapped. “For he seems to be the reason that Eris returned alive.”

That was her only warning to Lucien to stop his antics.

“Leave us,” Eris ordered his youngest brother.

He didn’t need to be told again.

“I will check on the injured,” Lucien announced to no one in particular.

He closed the door louder than necessary, making both of them roll their eyes.

The only sound to be heard was the crackling of the fire in the witchery.

“How do you know how to treat faebane?” Eris’ tone instantly switched to the softness that was only reserved for his mate.

“I shall tell you when you tell me why you ran into battle without waking me," she countered grimly.

Eris was smart enough to look guilty, even though she couldn’t see his face as she worked on his back. “I did not wish to worry you.”

“And being woken up by your surge of power was not more worrisome?”

“I did not realize you would sense my magic in such a way,” he admitted.

Y/N paused her healing and walked around to look down at him. “You could have been killed, Eris. And I never would have even said goodbye.”

Without hesitating, Eris reached up and gently grasped the back of her neck, pulling her down until her lips crashed to his.

She was sure the movement did not feel good for his back. But one would never know from the way his body only tried to pull her in further.

The subject was lost for a few moments, while their lips moved together.

Eventually, they pulled apart.

“You are right,” Eris told her, voice raspy.

“I am right?” She questioned, suddenly forgetting what they had even been talking about before he kissed her.

“I should have woken you before I left,” he clarified.

Then he smirked. “But I knew you would have tried to come.”

“Of course I would have!” She admitted with a playful glare.

His eyes darkened in warning. “You cannot rush into battle alongside me every time there is danger I must face, Y/N.”

“And why not?”

“Because I need you safe. Do you forget why you are here? And because these are not your battles to fight."

Y/N looked into his eyes before she answered, “They would be if I accepted the bond.”

She yelped when she was suddenly sitting across Eris' lap. He had pulled her so swiftly that there was no stopping it.

“Do not tease me with such things, witch.”

His body felt so hot, it was as if there was fire itself beneath his skin.

Y/N swallowed. “I need to finish healing your back, High Lord.”

Eris watched her before allowing her to get up.

A tension filled silence settled in the room.

“Will you let me see your beast form?” She finally asked him, her tone innocent.

Eris smirked, only because he knew she couldn’t see it. “Why, so you can make me your pet, like Ronan?”

“I think it would be rather hard to cuddle a grizzly fox that was immersed in flames…” She thought aloud. “Cuddles would be much easier when you are in this form.”

Y/N had finished with her spells and healing salve, and was now wrapping Eris in gauze to keep it in place and protect the mending.

“Where is this torment coming from?” Eris asked as he slowly stood.

Y/N stepped to him, her eyes seemingly innocent.

Then she suddenly kissed him again, but pulled away only after she bit the corner of his lip, making him hiss – not from the pain, though it did sting – from arousal.

“For not waking me,” she answered, as if it were obvious.

She stormed out of the witchery and threw open the door to his bedchambers that were next down the hall.

“Also, I put a sleep tonic on my lips. So you will want to get in bed in the next few minutes, or you will be passing out on the cold, hard floor. And if you ruin my hard work from that, I shall punish you even worse.”

Eris looked at her, utterly stunned.

“You poison your High Lord?" His eyes narrowed playfully. “Finally, your true self is revealed: you are an evil, little witch after all.”

She ignored his teasing. “To bed, now.”

Eris sauntered past her into his personal bedchambers.

She waited until he sat on the bed, then she slammed the door behind her.

Instantly, she started chanting a protection spell.

Yes, she had just knocked Eris out, which left him even more vulnerable than he already was with his injuries and exertion of power from using his beast form.

Therefore, she would not leave him unprotected.

She knew his guards would be lingering further down the hall. Lucien would have ordered to give the two of them space until further orders.

All of them straightened to attention when they saw her round the corner.

“The High Lord is to stay in his rooms and rest,” she explained firmly. “If he comes out, do not engage. One of you is to inform me immediately. Is that understood?”

“Yes, Lady Y/N.” They all said in unison. There was no mockery or questioning; their tones held only respect and understanding.

—🍁—🍁—🍁—

Eris awoke feeling much better than he probably should – and he knew he had Y/N to thank for that.

It was dusk now. And he’d left for battle before the sun had risen that morning. So he must’ve been asleep for quite some time.

Y/N’s poison had knocked him out so quickly that he hadn’t even bathed since battle. Though she had cleaned his wounds, he probably smelled of sweat and blood.

Eris quickly went to his bathroom and bathed, finally ridding himself of the battle filth.

Then he threw on a simple tunic and trousers, and rushed out of his chambers.

His sentries were waiting for him and bowed immediately.

“The injured?” He asked, getting straight to the point.

Captain Respen stepped forward. “Tended to, High Lord.” Then paused before he added, “More were lost, their injuries to dire. The healers did all they could.”

Eris frowned, but gave a slow nod.

“Where is my mate?”

All the sentries behind their captain shared a look, silently communicating.

“She insisted that you are to stay in your bedchambers and rest,” Respen explained.

Eris ignored that. “Where is she?”

——

Eris entered the grounds where all the healer tents had appeared. He expected to hear moans of pain or tears of grief. But there was a subtle peace amongst the camp.

The sun had just passed the horizon, leaving the forest and sky with a unique mixture of faded blues and oranges.

“This way, High Lord,” Captain Respen nodded in a direction past the tents.

Servants had erupted countless fire pits to both warm the camp and make visibility easier for everyone, despite faelights glowing inside each healer tent.

Eris’ walk slowed when he heard the giggling and laughter.

It was not a common sound in Autumn Court.

Once they walked past the last of the tents, Eris halted.

Y/N, ran around with the mortal children they had been sheltering. It appeared they were playing a game of tag. But every time one of them got away from her grasp, a gust of wind would tickle them, causing a fit of giggles.

“She has been running around all day, aiding the healers in any way she can. She has saved many lives today.” Captain Respen told him quietly. “When someone finally managed to get her to take a break, she came to entertain the children whose mothers were still helping the wounded.”

Eris didn’t respond, just watched his mate, who looked utterly exhausted, yet smile and played with the children despite it.

“Will she stay?” Respen dared to ask his High Lord the question that all of Autumn Court had come to wonder.

Eris ignored him, but the clenching of his jaw was visible.

He stepped towards his mate, purposely making noise to bring attention to his arrival.

The children’s laughter stopped immediately at the sight of the High Lord. Some of them even eyed him with fear.

“It is alright,” Y/N assured them.

Then she beckoned Eris closer, to her.

He did as requested, following that invisible string attached to his heart.

“Is it true you turned into a beast?” One of the brave children asked hurriedly.

Y/N bit back her smile.

“Can you show us?” Another cried out before Eris could even answer.

“I do not think your mothers would appreciate that,” Eris told them.

“I don’t have one. So can you at least show me?” Another begged.

“Now, now,” Y/N playfully scolded them. "The High Lord is far too powerful to show off his gifts like some court jester.”

“Awww!!!” They all whined in unison.

But Eris kneeled before them, pausing dramatically to get their attention back.

The children leaned in, believing they changed his mind.

With a subtle and small flick of Eris’ wrist, his palm twisted to the sky, and fireworks erupted above them.

The children cheered and jumped underneath the fireworks as they continued to erupt in every color they could ever want, some even turning into little animals before exploding.

They tried to catch the falling light in their hands. But it would always disappear before they could, creating a new game for the children.

Y/N moved to her mate’s side to join him in watching the new joy.

“Neat trick," she told him.

Eris gave her a shy smile. “I used to do the same for Lucien when he was a child. Sometimes it was the only thing that could stop his crying fits after father… reprimanded him.”

But they both knew it was more than reprimanding.

Eris sighed. “It has been so many centuries, I almost forgot about it entirely...until now.

“How are you feeling?” Y/N asked him.

“I am fine,” he answered too quickly.

She sighed, but didn’t push.

“My guards say you have not rested since tending to me,” he pointed out.

She shrugged dismissively. “There were many injured. And the healers were overwhelmed. I helped as much as I possibly could.”

“And I am grateful for it.” He countered. “But for someone who does not wish to join this Court, you certainly care about its inhabitants.”

“Shhh,” she warned. “None of that. I am quite tired.”

The next second, Eris had scooped Y/N up in his arms.

“Eris!” She admonished. “Your injuries!”

“My injuries are healing – thanks to you.”

Eris passed his guards, who had been watching over them from a distance. “Once the fireworks finish, make sure the children return to their mothers and caretakers.”

“Of course, High Lord. The children will be looked after.” Captain Respen bowed.

When they were at the doors of the Forest House, Eris locked eyes with one of the footman who stood at the ready.

“Bring dinner to her bedchambers,” he ordered.

The footman nodded and rushed off.

Eris looked down to see that Y/N had closed her eyes and rested her head in the crook of his neck.

“Are we too tired for a bath?” He asked quietly.

Without opening her eyes, Y/N mumbled. “Never too tired for a bath.”

Eris huffed a laugh. “Good. It is my turn to take care of you.”

“Will you promise that I will wake up next to you tomorrow morning?”

“I promise, Y/N.”

-----------

Thank you thank you thank you for your patience. I'm sure no one will read this...but work was really terrible around the holidays. I was trying to find a new job, but the job market is so terrible. So my mental health just took a real hit. I've also really gotten back into reading, so that because my thing unwind after work, instead of writing. I had also been doing a lot of different personal art projects – painting, editing, and photographing. And those started feeling better than writing for me.

Anyways...thank you for those who stuck with me and were patient and supportive.

#acotar #a court of thorns and roses #gust & flame #eris vanserra #eris #eris acotar #eris x reader #eris vanserra x reader #eris fic #autumn court #lucien vanserra #lady of autumn #high lord of autumn

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cultofdixon · 10 months ago

Text

Oddly Fascinating

Daryl Dixon • She/Her Pronouns • Can you imagine a human fucking pretzel? Well you certainly like to freak the others out unexpectedly • SFW/NSFW - Implied Sex

Requested by: Anon

It’s…fascinating. The things Y/N can do with JUST her body. Keep that noggin out of the gutter for a minute.

Y/N joined the group a little after the Woodbury infusion to the prison. She didn’t have a group and sort of ended up in Virginia because she simply didn’t stop walking from where she originated.

One day Daryl, Michonne, and Glenn were out on a run in the closest outdoor mall, which is a few hours away from the prison—so they were going to have to camp. Daryl went to check the store that looked like a miniature Home Depot thinking he could find some camping supplies but when he entered the store…said camping supplies were in use but no person.

“If anybody is here, I ain’t gonna hurt yea,” Daryl stated knowing that wouldn’t go far but to his surprise one of the storage boxes’s lids flung open. Soon a woman’s upper half popped out like a jack in the box and it was a bit unsettling to the archer.

“I had to see who I’m working with and what makes yea think I’ll trust “I ain’t gonna hurt yea” with muscles like those”

“You think I’d hit a woman?”

“It’s the apocalypse. If laws don’t exist, neither does moral code. I follow them still…but still”

“I don’t hit women.” Daryl scoffs. “How do yea fit in there?”

“I don’t know you well enough to share my skills. But I do feel a little better knowing you’re not gonna throw a left hook at my face” the woman began to fully pull herself out of the container and when she stepped out, she locked eyes with the archer’s confused yet curious ones. “Okay I trust you about not killing me but why haven’t you left?”

“Gonna ask yea a few things if that’s okay with you”

“Sure I guess” She put the lid back on the box before taking a seat and crossing her arms.

“How many walkers have you killed?”

“Lost count a long time ago”

“How many people have you killed?”

“Four”

“Why?”

The woman went silent for a moment and avoided eye contact as she held herself. “They were my friends, and brother who were about to turn. They didn’t want to be taken out as a walker and didn’t want to become one so. You know…”

“I do” Daryl leaned against one of the shelves. “It’s hard to take someone you care about out after they’ve changed”

“Getting deep with me and we don’t even know each other’s name”

“Daryl”

“Y/N”

Then she joined their group right then and there. The others that came with Daryl liked her, didn’t trust her right away but given her attitude immediately when it came to them asking the same questions Daryl asked—-both Glenn and Michonne knew that they will grow to trust her. Same with the others. Returning back to the prison with a lot more than they had expected helped the initial image of the new comer. Y/N hoarded a lot of stuff so thinking that she would survive alone in there.

Some part of Daryl wanted Y/N to take the empty cell in their cellblock but given he didn’t speak up and Rick showed her one of the others, that wasn’t happening.

But she was very involved with helping around the prison.

“You good up there Y/N?” Rick calls out to her receiving a thumbs up while she continued to work with fixing part of the fence that disconnected from the gate.

The retired sheriff watches his brother pull in on his bike but stop to watch Y/N a moment. She dropped her wire cutters and as it hit the grass, Daryl hopped off his bike about to grab it when he quickly took a step back when Y/N jumped down somersaulting in the dirt.

“The hell is wrong with you?!” Daryl shouted as Y/N stood up immediately, stretching her back after her action. “Yea could’ve cracked your head open!”

“I’ve done it a million times before. Don’t worry your pretty little head”

“A million times? What, in the circus?”

“How did you know?” Y/N smiles catching him off guard at first and even more when she broke out in laughter. “I wasn’t in the circus dumbass. I’ve done a lot of risky stuff and…gymnastics. But what just happened is nothing compared to other stuff” she states while throwing herself back so she was then in a bridged position and Daryl watched her upper half lay flat on its stomach showing her crawl between her legs and hold her ankles. Exorcist shit.

“Now I think you’re an alien”

“Rude” Y/N scoffs as such action was a bit uncomfortable given her twisted position. “It definitely impressed and freaked out a few hook ups”

Now that led Rick to leave from overhearing their conversation, both knowing damn well he was there. He opened the gate once Y/N was back in the upright position and Daryl was still left appalled somewhat.

Y/N was definitely making a good impression on most. Has been on every run that was planned and no one opposed, she’s especially useful in tight situations.

“Alright, so I was thinking we break down the door and then—-“ Tyreese cut himself off when Y/N gestured for Maggie’s help to hoist her up and she happily obliged.

Next thing the group knew, Y/N was pushing herself through the small window above the locked door landing on the other side and unlocking it.

“Or that” Sasha chimes in with a laugh and smile, impressed by the woman. “Now we don’t have to almost break ourselves to get into places” she walked past her as Y/N brushes off some of the dirt checking her person carefully. Said actions didn’t go unnoticed by Daryl.

After a couple hours passed, the four returned to the prison and dispersed but as Daryl stuck by his bike a moment he noticed Y/N straggling a bit. She stood for a while glancing around and turned to Daryl with a questioning look before turning away.

“If yea need something, you can ask” He didn’t hesitate as Y/N slumped in defeat before turning around and approaching him.

“Crack my back”

“What?” Daryl scoffs confused as he wiped the grime off his hands with his rag. “How am I supposed to do that?”

“Imma turn around cross my arms and you’re going to wrap your arms around me then lean back until a crack is heard.” Y/N explained in the most layman terms she could think of and it clicked instantly to Daryl but he hesitated a moment.

“Is that what yea want?”

“Yes, well. What I really want is someone to step on my back but all of y’all aren’t trained to do that and back in the day I had a friend who was a masseuse.”

“Well, I’ll do my best” Daryl grunts bringing himself over after tossing his rag on his bike watching her turn around and do what she had to do before he wrapped his arms around her. “Just lean back holding yea?”

“Yup” Y/N felt a sudden warmth rise in her chest when she was being lifted and the heat came clear in her cheeks expressing more of a red hue.

She heard the crack a bit ago but they both just. Stood there and it went from Daryl holding her to them both holding each other. Still Y/N’s back against his chest but her arms held onto his. Daryl relaxed setting her down but the way he held her for much longer and Y/N didn’t show any sign of letting go.

There was something

When the illness washed through the prison and a few were sent to get the medicine, Y/N found herself in the doorway watching Bob shove alcohol into his bag. He turned toward her realizing she was there and instead of talking first, he quickly took a bottle and threw it in her direction watching her quickly fall back then swing her body back forward.

“Jesus fucking Christ what are you? One of those inflatable car sales string cheese looking things?!”

“That’s very descriptive. Are you gonna be the same way when telling me why you have a goddamn bag of alcohol and not medicine to save our people”

“Oh for fucks sake! You and I are the newest people at the prison and you’re willing to bend over backwards—-even literally—-for people you barely know”

“So?!”

“SO?!” Bob shouted which caught another’s attention, Michonne as the conversation ended the second she joined. Bob brushed past her as she quickly gave a concerned look to Y/N.

I’m fine. Was all Y/N gave her as she stepped out.

Of course the booze was found out by Daryl and that was a more explosive mess to address than when Y/N first confronted him. But it all stopped mattering when they finally got their medicine into their people.

After getting their medicine in, Daryl went in search for Y/N who disappeared after they did such. It didn’t take long to find her because she was in her cell but she was alone in the old Woodbury cell block. Because of the outbreak.

“You alright?” Daryl asks Y/N even if she was currently hiding under her deconstructed bunk.

“Yeah”

“Don’t look like it”

A few seconds of silence. “Yeah…” she sounded defeated and pulls her entire self out from under bringing herself to sit on her bed. Daryl bringing himself to sit with her leaning his back against the wall.

“You can trust me, with whatever is on your mind”

“It’s strange…how easily it was for Bob to just. Not care about the others in the heat of the moment”

“Some people are just like that. Somethin’ or someone has to change them”

“I used to be like that. Not a warm caring person when this thing first started. I just. Had moments that changed me”

“Yeah?” Daryl gave her a questioning look that she noticed in the corner of her eye. “What changed yea?”

“Having to end the lives of people I cared for, the ones who got bit. When…” Y/N hesitated a second before looking at Daryl. “When I met you”

She’s full of surprises isn’t she? Daryl could feel his heart pounding in his chest as he never felt that feeling before.

But this moment was short lived like the many that followed after.

Until they found themselves alone weeks later…in a new place, with strange new people. Y/N stuck by Daryl’s side since they first entered Alexandria and given how the archer was feeling from all the loss, he would find himself following her if she were to stray or disappear from his side for too long.

“Can you hand me the socket wrench?” Daryl asks while under the car Aaron drives for recruiting as he was asked to check something out for the man. Y/N being there to help in any way even if it is just handing tools to the archer.

Y/N was currently repairing one of the angel wings on Daryl’s vest which led her to using her leg to reach toward the bench then her foot hooked onto the handle of the tool box. She then carefully bent so that she could grasp the box with her hands and go through the kit for what he asked for.

“Damn”

The annoyingly familiar voice caught both of their attentions as Daryl pushes out on the skateboard sitting up to look at Spencer confused. Y/N equally confused on the matter while handing the tool over.

“You know I saw you the other day doing your…morning stretches or whatever. Didn’t think you’d be THAT flexible…and limber…” Spencer was starting, or continuing to make Y/N uncomfortable as he starts to check her out making her cover herself with Daryl’s vest in her lap.

Daryl quickly taking note of the reaction and glaring at the man. “Beat it”

“I wasn’t talking to you” Spencer brushed him off keeping his attention on Y/N. “I bet you’re even more flexible in more intimate situations”

Y/N scoffs instantly but before she could bite the guy’s head off. She felt herself being pulled toward Daryl’s direction. Daryl having grabbed the blanket she was seated on pulling it closer to him so he could protectively wrap his arm around her shoulders as she instinctively leaned into him.

“She’s taken. Now I’d fuck off and bother somebody else before your mommy sees her little boy’s face smashed the fuck in” Daryl threats and didn’t let his guard down but it got Spencer to storm off defeated. “What a tool”

“He’s not wrong about something”

“Huh?”

“I am very flexible when we’re intimate” Y/N laughs slightly catching her own boyfriend off guard resulting in the red hue rising in his cheeks.

#cultofdixon #the walking dead #daryl dixon #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon fanfiction

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wardenparker · 1 month ago

Text

Bones Full of Words, ch 10

Javier Peña x plus size reader Co-written with @absurdthirst

“He pleaded so much that he lost his voice. His bones began to fill with words.” ― Gabriel García Márquez, One Hundred Years of Solitude

Javier Peña had no way of knowing for certain the American journalist he sometimes sees sniffing around the embassy for her stories is also getting information about the narcos from the same girls that he is. After Helena is brutalized by sicarios, it is that same journalist who comes to take her away and look after her -- giving Javi reason to pause and reconsider his opinion of the woman he had previously not considered as anything more than eye candy.

He has no idea that once she has walked fully into his life, he will be battling with himself over whether or not he should stop her from walking out it of again.

Rating: E for Explicit! 18+ Word Count: 8.6k Warnings: *Blanket warnings for this series: sex work, time period appropriate sexism, cursing, alcohol, food/eating, talk of weight or size, fatphobia, internalized fatphobia, self-esteem issues, canon typical violence* Violence, kidnapping, physical violence, descriptions of injuries sustained while being held captive, fear of mistreatment, certainty of death, canon typical violence, gun violence, death by gun violence. Summary: The longer you are missing, the more desperate both you and Javier become, in your own separate ways. When he finally gets break in his investigation, all hell breaks loose. Notes: Another high violence warning for this chapter! And once again it's all canon-typical. This chapter is fast paced, I hope you like it! (As usual, I apologize for an errors I may have missed in editing.)

Ch 1 ~ Ch 2 ~ Ch 3 ~ Ch 4 ~ Ch 5 ~ Ch 6 ~ Ch 7 ~ Ch 8

The guards have been ordered to leave you alone tonight.

That happens every night, but tonight they seem to be obeying.

The window in the little bedroom is barred, but Escobar ordered a desk to be brought up for you a few days ago and it has made the place feel a little less like a prison. The simple writing table and uncomfortable chair face the iron-clad window so you can see the moon rise up, and you've figured out that you're somewhere in the mountains judging from the terrain you can see for just a little while before it becomes too dark to make out any details.

On the one hand, your survival depends upon writing this article for Escobar. He has given you just a few more days to complete the project and you promised him a partial draft by the morning.

But on the other? You know that a tray with your small dinner will be brought up soon, and all you can think about is those nights that you and Javier had actually been getting along. Sitting on the couch in his apartment while you shared it, watching a movie and eating whatever dinner you made. The times you thought he might have been warming up to you. The times you felt certain that you were falling for him.

He had tried to protect you and it had ended up with him in danger. It had ended up with you kidnapped and held captive. And Javier with not only a price on his head, but the intention of luring him here to save you.

It was well intentioned. You're sure of that now. But hell if it didn't backfire.

Pablo had very generously provided pads of paper. Lined and unlined because he did not know which that you preferred. Stacks of them, along with an entire box of No. 2 pencils sharpened enough to write but not enough to be used as a weapon on an unsuspecting guard.

In his opinion, you were now being treated exceptionally well. And maybe you were? Considering you have never been kidnapped or held prisoner — sometimes at gun point and sometimes not — ever before, you have no frame of reference. The fact is, you’re a prisoner in constant pain from early beatings. The ribs that were at best bruised and at worst broken by being kicked hard by men wearing thick boots hurt with every breath. The hunger pains are only barely kept at bay. The constant of terror your body is in has had you in fight-or-flight mode since the cafe.

And yet sitting at your little desk thinking about Javier hurts more than any of it.

Tapping the pencil on the pad, you wonder if anything you write will make it out of this place. You won’t. It’s almost guaranteed at this point and yet you still want your words, your thoughts and feelings to be known.

There is a chance, however small it may be, that your pages may outlive you. And if that’s the case, you have to at least try to leave something worthwhile behind you. Not just the real article detailing your experience and Escobar’s true nature. But something of yourself, if you can.

Taking out a fresh piece of paper, the only thing you want to write in this moment comes pouring out into the page.

Dear Javier…however this letter finds you…

******

Hollow eyed with deep, purple circles under his eyes, Javi puffs on a cigarette as he waits for the call. Hes probably lost ten pounds over the past four days and he knows that he’s days away from being pulled out of the field. The only reason he hasn’t is because Noonan doesn’t know it’s his soulmate that is the missing journalist. He’s done something he isn’t proud of, but it might work out.

He sits and stares at that phone for what seems like hours on end. When it finally rings he's a rattlesnake jumping on its prey, snatching up the receiver on his office desk immediately.

“What do you have?” He is practically spitting out his sentences, knowing that it’s already risky enough to have him call into the office, even if it is the Medellín office. Someone could track it, and he doesn’t put shit past the CIA and the Marines now that he’s thwarted them getting their hands on Elisa.

The voice on the other end is far more amused than Peña is, and a small chuckle of amusement as his expense can be heard before the caller pronounces one word very clearly. "Pamplona." He says, and the line goes dead.

Slamming the phone down, the chair rolls back into the wall with a hard thud. “Pamplona!” he shouts, grabbing his jacket and racing out the door. “She’s in Pamplona!”

"Fuck." Steve dumps the coffee mug in his hand into the sink instantly and grabs his jacket from the chair next to him in the break room. He'd lost track of how many pots they'd had between them this week to keep going, but whatever informant Peña had managed to tap has finally come through. "Does Carrillo still have that chopper ready?"

“Shit.” Javi plunges his hand into his jacket to pull out his cell phone. “She’s got to be in that house in the jungle.” The Search Bloc had located several potential targets, here and Pamplona but they had pulled back until they were sure. Javi couldn’t risk your life rushing in half cocked.

The mountains and jungle on the northeastern corner of Colombia weren't a place that they ever had to go or deal with, except to track down possible labs. The safe house in the jungle that had only just been located was a crap shoot. They had no idea what they were running into. "We'll get her." Steve intones seriously, unable to process any other outcome to his partner now that they actually have a lead.

“We have to.” Javi is re-energized by the flimsy grasp on a lead, although he’s told Berna exactly what he will do to him if he’s leading him into a trap. And he means it. “I want every soldier we have on that mountain within five hours.”

Carrillo is out on the landing with the chopper's crew when Peña and Murphy burst out onto the concrete, and he catches the wild look in Peña's eyes from ten meters away. "We're going." He tells his men, before jogging across the expanse to find out what the lead is.

“Pamplona.” Javi tells him. “She has to be in that house in the jungle.” He has half formed a plan by the time he reached Carrillo and he starts to explain. “I’m leading the breach team. I want to surround and enter simultaneously. Covering all exits. This bastard isn’t dragging her off into the jungle.”

Carrillo exchanges a glance with Murphy, debating fighting Peña on his determination to lead the operation, but both men know they would be just as insistent if it was their soulmates being held for five days instead of his. So Carrillo only nods. "Perimeter team will keep the safehouse contained. We've clocked the property at five acres but we can cover that area."

“Fucker might have tunnels leading from the house.” He reminds the man, as if he doesn’t know. “Any outbuildings have to be covered or occupied.”

"The only good thing is that it isn't close enough to the ocean to have to cover that, too," Murphy huffs, hustling along with them into the further helicopter. The team is big enough to warrant two large helicopters and he hopes it will be enough.

Javi grunts, but he is the first one jumping on the helicopter as soon as he is close enough, not even bothering to put on the bullet proof vest before he is jamming on the headphones to let him talk to the pilot to start barking orders.

Carrillo and Murphy are better outfitted right away, and Murphy sits with a modicum of patience beside his partner before shoving the tacvest into his hands.

Javi frowns as he looks down at the vest before he looks at Steve. “Put the goddamn thing on, Javi.” Steve shouts in his hear through the microphone and he huffs. Ripping off the headphones to strap the protection over his torso.

The trip would take hours, even in the air. Dealing with the mountains would make a direct flight more treacherous or else cause the trip to be longer to avoid dealing with the peaks. But with Peña barking orders to the pilot, they all knew short and dangerous was going to be the way to go. Now they had to hope Escobar hadn’t been tipped off about their search.

Javi checks and rechecks his pistol. Wanting to make sure that everything is set as he waits. Every second spent in this chopper brings him closer to reaching you and he’s about to wear the clip out ejecting it every few minutes.

Murphy's hand comes down over the pistol with a stern expression on the blond's face. "If you need to fidget with something, pick something besides your gun," he recommends, though his tone borders on making it an order.

“Fuck you.” Javi grunts, but there’s not the normal heat behind it that there would be. He holsters the weapon and picks at a loose thread on his jeans. “If you find her before I do, protect her.” He manages to choke out, worried about what condition you might be in.

"Of course." Despite never having actually met you, Steve and the others have all been looking at photos of you for days on end now. They could pick you out of any lineup without effort. And Steve knows that if it were Connie in that safe house instead of you, he'd be acting the exact same way.

“ETA ten minutes.” The update from the pilot makes Javi tense, leaning forward and looking out the open door of the chopper. “Fuck. I hope she’s not thought no one was looking for her.” He murmurs, although he’s mainly talking to himself right now.

"She has to know you would try." Steve would find it incredible if you expected anything less out of Peña. You can't think that little of the man, even if you don't like him.

“She didn’t think much of me.” Javi admits, frowning as he stares into the dense jungle below him. “She might think I didn’t even notice she was gone.”

"I doubt that." Murphy shakes his head. "From the way you tell it, you're too much alike for her to think that about you."

“She thought I sent Helena into that op. That I sent her in to the slaughter.” He confesses, having never told Steve any of this.

"Jesus." Murphy sighs, raking one hand through his hair, and wipes the other down his face. "Please tell me she found out you didn't."

“Helena told her.” He still doesn’t know if you believed her, always wondering if there was some doubt in your mind. If that’s why you seemed to pull away every time you got closer.

"She will know how hard you worked to find her." Carrillo promises. He knows even less of the story than Murphy does but he knows how important this is. How Peña has wrung himself dry to get to his soulmate.

He needs to get to you first. To make sure that you are alright. He knows you are alive, that small relief checked religiously every few minutes. His skin is raw where your tattoos sit and he knows that he seems insane. Hell, he might be.

When the chopper starts to descend just minutes later, the team is ready. Vests on, weapons in hand, and orders given. The safe house is a massive estate with a sprawling mansion and grounds that could support a large party or wedding without surrendering a single extra blade of grass, but the most important thing is that they can see movement below them as the helicopters zero in on their destination.

When the mansion comes into view, Javi can’t help but wonder which window you are at. Are you being kept in a room? Where? Are you conscious? Bruised? Worse? His stomach rolls, nearly throwing up when he imagines you on a filthy mattress, bloody and broken.

It's barely before dark, but there is enough sunlight to move by. Murphy has turned stoic beside his partner and the SearchBloc soldiers are tense with the possibility of actually finding Escobar down there. The expansive grounds will present a problem, but not one they can't handle.

Time seems to slow down. The helicopter lowering down and there is a lone guard who comes out of the house to try to shoot at the aircraft. The shots from the rifle beside Javier barely registering with him as he jumps out of the belly of the craft three feet off the ground and starts running.

It is chaos inside the house.

Escobar was not prepared for an aerial assault. He had readied himself and his guards for Jeeps to come barreling through the jungle. Helicopters were not in his game plan.

The guards who had prepared assault stations at each possible entrance to the grounds are left desperately scrambling to realign their defensive positions and the plan to funnel the gringo DEA agents through to the center of the complex where the house lies is suddenly moot.

They can and will come from anywhere, and that leaves the sicarios running for cover immediately.

“Son of a bitch!” Escobar hisses as he ducks down at a window, watching as a man jumps out and starts running towards the mansion. Shooting anything that moves. It must be your Javier. Even if he is too far away to see his face clearly. “Boss!” One of his men bursts through the door. “We have to leave! They have the place surrounded!”

“Bastards!” Escobar throws the nearest object, swiping a large vase off of a table and sending it hurtling to the floor. This is not what he planned. It’s not what he was prepared for. He’s just glad Tata isn’t here. “Go. Up the path and make sure it is clear.” He orders, already halfway out the door to issue orders to the rest of his guards. There is a precious bargaining tool in this house but he is not sure what to do about it.

Under Javier’s lead, the charge is quickly made towards the house. Steve shouting curses behind him, but he doesn’t pause to let his partner catch up. Too intent on getting inside. The door is kicked in and sicario shot right inside. He recognizes the man, one of Escobar’s. They are in the right place. Shouting your name, he charges inside.

The other guards inside the house scatter, several of them not far or smart enough to get out of the way of the invading rescue party. Through the shouting , cursing, and gunfire, one sentence makes its way above the cacophonous din: “Where’s the bitch?”

Javi hisses, angry that they would refer to you that way as he fires off several rounds. Hoping that means you have been tucked away safe.

The door of your room is always locked when you’re in it. You assume they go through it every day while you’re ‘interviewing’ their boss, but at night it’s locked from the outside with you in it.

That door had been locked for all of five minutes when the commotion started. Your window facing the jungle showed nothing out of the ordinary but out of nowhere, like lightning striking from the sky, the sounds of mayhem had come from the other side of your bedroom door.

The jolt in your gut of hope almost made you sick, but fear came with it so overwhelmingly that you found yourself scrambling around your room at an adrenaline-fueled pace to pull every note out of its hiding space and cram them all into the binding of your one notebook to carry them out if you are allowed to survive.

Maybe it’s him. The hope in your heart says. Maybe he found me.

The door bursts open after a moment, guns and men waving them flooding into the room with Pablo in the center of the chaos. "We are leaving!" He shouts, anger and fear warring in his eyes as he spits on the floor and motions for the men to take you.

They don't want to, each of them looking towards the door and the sounds of a fight downstairs. Rushing forward to grab you and knocking the notebook from your hands, pages scattering on the floor.

The impulse is as sudden as it is powerful. There isn’t time to bind you, and the two guards who grip your arms to drag you from the room are reticent. That’s probably the only reason that it actually works.

In a rush of chaos, as Escobar and half the guards are already most of the way to the stairs, you sharply snap your arms out of the group of the men on either side of you and shove them as hard as you can in opposite directions. Run is the only thought in your mind, and you take off down the hallway at a sprint. Knowing you have to push past Escobar if you go for the main stairwell, you pivot and make a break for the back stairs that you were dragged up after your first night in this hell hole.

“Bitch!” Escobar shouts, hurling a gun towards you since he can’t very well shoot you and lose the leverage you give him. “Get her!” He screams at his men, shoving them back down the hall towards you even as he ducks down to see what is happening through the slats of the stairs. The window to escape is closing.

“Fuck you, hijo de puta!” It’s a miracle you can think of anything to say, but screaming obscenities at Pablo Escobar as you make your escape will be one of the proudest and bitchiest moments of your life if you survive.

The only problem, you realize as you go careening down the hallway after dodging the gun he through in your direction, is that you don’t actually know how to get around this house.

You just have to hope you find the right door that leads to the back stairwell.

******

Javi’s entire frame of mind narrows down to what’s in front of him. His blood pounding so loudly in his ears that it’s all he can hear. Even the gunfire sounds like it’s underwater. He ducks behind a pillar when someone takes a shot at him, hissing when the sting of plaster peppers his skin, but he looks around to the staircase and sees that it’s clear. Waiting a beat before he is rushing through the chaos to take the stairs three at a time, pushing his long legs to eat up the distance and ignoring the burn.

The house is a maze. A sprawling hallway twists in front of him with a dozen doors just in his line of sight, almost all of them closed. The gunfire downstairs and the sound of Carrillo shouting seem far away as his mind races and his feet move even faster.

He has to check every room. Wasting precious seconds and hissing out a curse when he kicks the doors open and doesn’t find anyone inside. Until a room halfway down the hall. This one has signs of someone having been here. A chair kicked over and papers scatters on the floor. Javi rushes into the room and sweeps it quickly for threats before he bends down to pick up the papers.

The chaotic mass of scribbles doesn't look like language at all, but as he shuffles through a few pages he finds some written out carefully in a now-familiar hand. After days of staring at your journals and notes, he would recognize your handwriting in his sleep. Javi shuffles through the papers quickly, heart beating double time to see how busy you've been and barely skimming the pages, until one word catches his eyes.

His name.

Dear Javier…however this letter finds you… It's more than likely that , if you ever do get to read this letter, Escobar has already had me killed. Maybe he even did it himself, just to prove a point. Although I'm not sure what that point would be. I hope, at whatever stage of your life you're reading this, that you can forgive me. We're too alike and that's how I know that if I had just said something instead of being angry with you, everything that happened between us would have been different. I know that you tried to protect me by keeping me in your apartment with you. I know that you tried to look out for me and that I couldn't see the gesture for what it was. You were trying to protect me because you thought it was your duty. I was upset and stubborn because I found myself falling in love with you. I'm sorry about that, too. But hopefully, with my scars and my tattoo gone from your body, you can start over. Find someone that you actually want to be with, without my interference. My existance should no longer be a burden to you now that I'm gone. If I could have wiped the slate clean and set you free of me, I would have. I guess that's the only good that will come out of any of this. A pack of pages are numbered. They look like scribbles, but they're not. Take them to one of the secretaries at the embassy and she can translate them. It's my account of everything that happened here over the last five days. The real story. Not the article that Escobar kidnapped me to write. Please honor my memory by getting it to my editor. I know you know how. I'm sorry, Javier. I didn't mean to fall in love with you. It made me into an idiot and you never wanted it at all. I hope you can be happy now.

Your name is scrawled across the bottom, punctuated by a pencil point on the paper.

“Goddamnit.” His heart aches, feeling like it is ripped out of his chest as he stares at your inner thoughts, your feelings. Feeling like he has failed you. He can’t, he has to find you. You were here and you are still closer than you’ve been in the past five days.

Screaming and a burst of gunfire tear his attention away from the page in his hands, and Javi doubles back only for a second, to scoop up the fallen pages in a crumpled heap and shove them inside his vest to make sure you and your words make it out of this place. He dashes out into the hall again, determined to find you, when he hears a familiar voice – and English – coming from far away.

"Fuck YOU, motherfucker!" Can be heard clear as day. Followed by two gun shots.

His heart stops. Completely screeching to a halt in his chest and his blood pressure shoots up so high he’s dizzy as he launches himself down the stairs. Terrified that he’s going to find your crumpled body on the ground. Yelling your name as he barrels forward.

He slams his way through a half open door at the end of the hall that leads to a winding staircase. Slamming down every step with reckless abandon, he makes it halfway before more screaming meets his ears. Spanish this time, but the voice is just as ferocious and familiar.

"Stop or I'll shoot!"

It takes half a beat extra of your stuttering heart to recognize the face peering down at you over the railing, and your shaking arms all but drop the gun in your hands to the ground – right at the feet of the sicario who had been coming at you seconds before.

"Javier?"

It's him. It's actually...it's really...he came to save you...

His knees buckle, hand on the railing the only thing keeping him from collapsing. He murmurs your name, holding up his weapon and tucking it into his pants before he is stumbling down the stairs to you to scoop you up into his arms. “Are you hurt?” He rushes out, his hands running over your body before he is pulling you into his tac vest covered chest briefly before he is leaning back to check you over again, as if he is in disbelief you are here. “Fuck, I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

“Careful.” You hiss in pain when he squeezes you against him, managing a weak smile because you refuse to admit defeat in any way — regardless of the fact that tears started streaming down your face the second he wrapped his arms around you. “I’m pretty banged up but I’m okay I think.” Maybe. A bullet might have grazed you while you were running but you’re going on pure adrenaline right now.

“Are you-“ he can’t say the words, but his hand cups your cheek as he looks into your eyes, hating the fatigue and fear that he sees there. The trauma that has been imprinted on you. It’s something that would never leave you and it’s his fault. “Did they—”

“No.” You shake your head slightly, knowing what he’s feared. What you feared. That you would be treated like Helena was. Or worse. “No. He didn’t let them.”

The air rushes out of his lungs in relief and he pulls you against his chest again. “Thank God.” He closes his eyes for a moment, needing to ground himself so he can get you out of here. But right now he needs to hold you.

“Javier…” If he holds you like this any longer you’re going to just break down sobbing and you can’t do that yet. You can’t let yourself fall apart just yet. There is too much left to do. Just because he’s here foreseen mean it’s over. “He’s here. He’s here somewhere. You can get him—”

There’s a moment where he’s tempted. Pulling back, his head twists towards the door and his eyes narrow. Almost convinced that he could leave you here and hunt him down. Until he feels you tremble. The slight shiver that runs through your body snaps him back to reality. “Come on.” He takes your hand and shakes his head. “My only goal is to get you out of here.” He states. “They can get Pablo.”

The first floor of the house is in shambles when he pushes the nearby door open to pour you back into reality. Shot up and ransacked and destroyed in every conceivable way, the place looks like the set of an action movie after the hero has given up all hope and the bad guy seems to be winning.

Half a dozen men in tacvests and military green are moving to and fro, but Javier moves you steadily through the melee while the adrenaline keeps you moving easily.

Javi keeps you close, when you are outside, he immediately guides you towards the helicopter. “Duck down!” he shouts as the blades nearly drown him out.

Even if he didn’t give you the instruction, you would have followed his motions and ducked deeply to get under the blades whirring overhead. But he bundles you into the helicopter and hands you a headset, and by some miracle the things actually manage to drown out the sounds of the damned blades above you.

He doesn’t leave your side, even though his partner is still inside the mansion. He knows that Carrillo will watch his back. “Get us out of here!” He tells the pilot, watching the lawn between the helicopter and the house. The pilot will take you off to where the vehicles are waiting, coming back for the rest of the team.

“Sir?” There pilot looks back at him, confused by the unexpected order.

“Take us to the rendezvous site.” Javi orders again, frowning as he leans over you to strap you into the seat. He has no clue if you’ve ever flown in a helicopter and the last goddamn thing he needs is for you to fall out.

“Yes, sir!” The pilot takes the reputation as gold and starts to lift the chopper off the ground, sending you directly and unsteadily into Javi’s arms again.

You stare at the mansion as the helicopter lifts into the air. As if you are trying to reconcile where you were with where you are. He doesn’t say anything, doesn’t know what to say right now. Doesn’t know if he can find the right words so he stays silent.

It isn't until the house on the hill – much less intimidating than thinking of it as the mansion on the mountain – has drifting out of sight that you feel like you can breathe again. Instead of a blanket of relief it feels like the air has been sucked out of your lungs. Like the gasping emptiness left behind by vacuous shock jolts your body into taking another breath when you hadn't even realized that you were holding it before.

You shake with it. With the sharp feeling of something fresh and free. And with the wracking sobs that follow as soon as it begins to settle on your shoulders that the whole thing is really finally over.

He hears it in his headphones. The quiet cries and his fingers itch to reach for you again. Unsure if you would push him away or accept him. “It’s okay.” He promises softly. “You’re safe.”

"I— " Gasps and sniffles and wrenching sobs all mix themselves up with attempts at speaking and you end up doubled over with one hand cradling your stomach and the other reaching out to clutch his like an anchor. Every quake of sobs hurts but you can't keep them in, too overcome with the ending of the whole ordeal to be able to control the flow of emotion.

“You’re safe, you’re safe.” He repeats it over and over, like reminding you will help. His hand curls around yours and he leans over, pressing close and hugging you as you hug yourself. “Let it out, sweetheart.”

You have no idea how long you sit there, carefully buckled into the helicopter's seat and half leaning into Javier's side and chest, except to know that you've landed somewhere. The jolt of the aircraft is undeniable but it hardly means a thing against the shaking of your body as you succumb to almost a week's worth of literal torture and captivity and let the stress out in what is surely only the first of many ways.

“I’ve got to get you off the helicopter.” He murmurs, his voice right in your ear through the headphones. “There are trucks waiting for us.”

"I should— " Even when you can string words together again, you still don't bother lifting your head. "I should probably go to a hospital."

“You’re going to.” He promises. “We will get you transferred into a truck and take you to the hospital to be checked over.”

"You..." Managing to force yourself to look up at him, the measure of disbelief mixed with the fear and broken hurt in your eyes is staggering. "Found me?"

Your eyes kill him. The knife slicing deep and twisting in his heart. The disbelief and the surprise. Like you had expected him to just shrug and continue on like you weren’t a piece of him. “I wasn’t going to stop until you were found.”

"If you had come with me..." Trailing off again to sniffle away fresh tears, you're about to tell him that it was Escobar's plan to entrap him by taking you when your eyes fall on the crumpled edges of papers stuffed under his bulletproof vest. In the corner of one, you recognize the letter that you wrote to him and flinch. "My— um— my papers. You found them?"

“I did.” Javi reaches in and he pulls out the papers that he has scooped up, but he keeps the letter you wrote, tucking it aside before he hands them back to you.

Your voice drops again, and you push out a shaking breath. "He wanted me to write his story," you tell him, eyes flicking back to his pocket as he stuffs that one sheet of paper away. "An article, I mean. To make him sound like a saint."

“He’s fucking insane.” Javi shakes his head, frowning and glancing towards the trucks. You haven’t moved and he’s not going to change the subject until you are good and ready to leave to helicopter. You deserve a minute to process all of this.

"I know." The way you exhale and the nod of your head could be mistaken for a laugh, but he knows better. "I just spent five days listening to him talk at me every waking hour of the day."

He wants to sigh in relief that it was just talking, but that would undercut the seriousness of your situation. Something he couldn’t do when he had been so goddamn worried. He had actually thrown up a few times from the mounting anxiety and fear rolling around inside him. “Now you can tell your story.” He tells you, eyeing the papers. “Exactly how you saw things. Win that Pulitzer.”

It would be an unnecessary insult to tell him that Escobar talked about the story winning a Pulitzer, too. The difference was his point of view was full of the utter bullshit he fed himself. “I just…want it to be over,” you murmur quietly, despite reminding yourself that from a very technical perspective, it is.

“Let’s get you to the hospital.” He unclips the seatbelt, but he doesn’t move, waiting for you.

It takes a few seconds, but when you move again you hold steady to Javier’s arm and gratefully accept the help extricating yourself from the helicopter. Apparently the rendezvous point is just outside — or maybe just inside — a town somewhere and he has used the hospital’s helipad as a landing sight. All you have to do is go inside. “Probably good planning,” you admit, hissing slightly when you put pressure on your left foot. When did that get hurt?

You stumble forward and Javi is leaping up, wrapping his arm around you and pulling you towards him. Wanting to take the weight off your foot since you hissed.

How do you tell him that this is the safest you’ve ever felt in your life? It’s impossible and too much and so utterly dramatic. But you nearly fucking died. And if you had, you know your biggest regret would have been how you treated him. So you lean in to his embrace gratefully instead, and brace yourself on his arm. “Thank you” will suffice for now. He doesn’t need to know how badly you need him at your side right now.

You stumble again and Javi clenches his jaw in anger that you are so weak, so hurt that you can’t even support yourself. He jerks to a stop and bends down to lift you into his arms with a grunt. Straining slightly but managing it to quickly hurry you inside the hospital.

The transition from helipad to wheelchair to emergency room is a whirlwind. Javier gets you inside and seen faster than you even thought possible, and you wonder how many times he flashed his badge when you weren’t looking to get people to move you up the line or examine you faster. Within what seems like just a few minutes you’re in a hospital gown and being wheeled into a cat scan room with Javier standing outside the window watching like a guard dog.

His phone has been ringing nonstop, but he ignores it. He knows Steve and Carrillo are fine, although Pablo probably slipped away. He doesn’t care about that right now. He can’t focus on that until the doctor tells him that you are fine. Completely fine.

That conversation won't come, unfortunately, but the doctor looks both surprised and exhausted when he finally comes back from reviewing all of your tests over an hour later. You and Javier have been sitting in your little bay of the emergency room in silence purely because you don't really know what to say.

"You were lucky." The doctor tells you honestly. "Your ribs are bruised, not broken. The gunshot wound was superficial, and your ankle is only a hairline fracture. Aside from the internal damage, I might be willing to send you home after we got your ankle set, but we are going to admit you to keep an eye on you for a day or two. We're going to have to take care of the internal bleeding and start getting you eating and resting comfortably again." He looks between the two of you with doubt, but asks anyway. "I understand you're coming out of something traumatic, miss. Will your guard be staying with you?"

"He's my soulmate." The word is thick on your tongue, but the utter truth of it feels so freeing. It feels right. And more importantly, it feels safe. "And he'll be staying as long as he's able." That much is up to Javier. But at least now that the hospital knows your soulmate status, they won't have a problem talking to him about whatever medical care you need.

Shocked that you admitted his connection to you, Javier glances back at you and then at the doctor. Horrified by the causal way he has listed off your injuries even though he’s nursed his own wounds from this fight against Escobar. “I will be staying.” He tells the doctor, frowning at the man heavily and motioning towards the hallway. “Can we talk outside?”

"Of course." The older man nods to your polite before stepping outside the room with Javier and closing the door behind them.

Javi props his hands on his hips. “What aren’t you saying?” He demands.

For one moment the doctor shifts uncomfortably, but given the relationship between his patient and the man in front of him, he won't be breaking any sort of laws in disclosing more concerns. "She is incredibly weak. Dehydrated and seems as though she went through quite a beating. More than one, if I am judging her injuries correctly. Whatever happened to her went on long enough for her body to go in and out of starvation modes, so I would call her malnourished, as well."

“Goddamnit.” Javi hisses, pressing his fingers against the bridge of his nose and wishing he had his hands around Escobar’s neck right now. He would kill him and take pleasure in watching the life fade from his eyes. A chilling thought but it’s true. “She was kidnapped by Escobar five days ago.”

"Then she is lucky to be alive." The doctor notes gravely. "Two days was a generous estimate. I expect it will be longer than that, but I did not wish to alarm her."

He sighs and nods. “Okay. Whatever it takes.” He tells the doctor. “She-“ he doesn’t need to explain why he would say that. “Yeah.”

"If she can, she should rest." The doctor advises. "I will order more tests and have her moved to a room upstairs. A nurse will be in to take her full medical history." Only a glance passes between the two men but the doctor, apparently satisfied, nods and moves away with purpose.

Now that he knows what is going on, Javi pulls his phone out of his pocket and sighs as he calls Steve back. Not eager to hear the disappointing news that Pablo escaped.

"Peña!" Steve picks up on the first ring, shouting his partner's name down the line in frustration. "I assume you got her out? You fuckin' disappeared on us, man!"

“She’s in the hospital.” He doesn’t apologize, because he’s not sorry. “They are admitting her. Might be here for a few days. Tell me you shot the son of a bitch?” It’s a thin hope, but he asks it anyway.

Murphy huffs a long suffering sigh. "He got away," he admits to his partner, voice round with regret. "We managed to get one bastard alive. Carrillo hauled him in for questioning. The rest either got shot or got away. I've secured the safe house and we're sweeping the place now." He pauses, chewing on his lip, before he wipes a hand through his hair. "How is she?"

“Dehydrated. Internal bleeding. Malnourished.” He growls the last word angrily. “Son of a bitch knew she was my soulmate, Murphy. He starved her for some kind of sick pleasure while forcing her to write some bullshit article painting him as a victim of the United States.”

"At least you've got her back." Murphy swallows and shakes his head, but his partner can't see it. Can't see the utter relief on the other man's face that Javier Peña didn't almost lose his mind and his soulmate all in one go. "I'll let the boss know you're staying in Pamplona until she's released. Keep me updated and I'll let you know if we find anything useful here."

“Yeah.” He ends the call and shoves his hand through his hair. Leaning against the wall and blowing out a sigh of relief. Even as the guilt still weighs down on his shoulders. At least you are here to hurl insults at him and blame him for your experience.

When he finally opens the flimsy door to come back into the space you flinch slightly, but blow out a long breath. "Sorry..." You murmur quietly. "It's going to take a while before I can remember it's not one of them coming through the door."

Javi swallows, nodding slightly. “I understand.” He rubs his hands on his thighs and slowly moves towards the seat he had been in before stepping outside with the doctor. “They are getting a room ready.”

"What was the doc afraid to tell me?" There must have been something, but you assume if it was truly bad they would be rushing you into surgery or mentally preparing you for the inevitable.

“You might be in here for more than a couple of days.” He shrugs like it’s no big deal even though concern still spikes through the fatigue. The adrenaline he has been riding has been tapped and he’s about to crash.

"I figured." It stings that you couldn't just be told outright, but if your body is as broken up as you feel like it is, a few days would have made that doctor a miracle worker. Sitting back on the mobile emergency room bed, you let out a long breath and just stare at the IV in your arm for a while before you look back up at Javier. "I'm glad you're staying." It's honest, at least, and you're going to do your best to be more honest. With yourself and with him.

He gives you a bewildered look, like he would be anywhere else? "They didn't get Pablo." He figures you deserve to know that, even though he knows you would rationally assume that he had escaped. "Right now we have him for kidnapping an American citizen, torturing you." What he doesn't say is that he would be damned if he was going to leave you unprotected, to give that bastard a chance to sneak in here and take you again or kill you.

“I wrote everything down for you.” Obviously you would — and did — but being honest about the fact that it was for him is a measure further in trying to just tell him the truth. “I figured that even if I didn’t get out…” Don’t think about the fact that Escobar got away. Don’t think about it. He can’t get you here. “I wrote down names, descriptions, direct quotes. Anything I could.”

He looks down at his hands, frowning slightly at the revelation. “You did good.” He murmurs. “I’m just— I’m sorry it took so long to find you.”

“It could have been worse.” Instinctively, your hand touches his for a measure of comfort and you leave it there for a few long seconds before thinking better of it and readjusting. “I got his version of model treatment for a prisoner.”

“Clearly.” Javi snorts, his hand burning where you touched him and he wants to reach out again but you had pulled away. His fingers curl towards his palm. “It was like a fucking vacation at an exclusive resort.”

“Compared to what it could have been?” You meet his eyes, however reluctantly, while both of you picture Helena in his guest bed after the torture she endured. “I’m lucky he wanted something from me.”

He has to look away, so goddamn guilty for his part in your suffering. He leans back and closes his eyes. “Yeah.” He sighs. “You’re lucky.” He can admit that, and that just makes him feel worse.

The stubborn part of you refuses to be the one offering him comfort when you’ve just been through literal torture, but the ache in your heart is a stronger pain than everything else you’re feeling. “I just want to be healed enough to go home,” you murmur, laying your head back on the upright gurney.

Even though he has been ready to argue for you to leave this country, it hurts to hear you voice that. The needle like piercing of his heart making him grimace slightly and he opens his eyes again. Watching you as you now have your eyes closed. “You will.” He promises, leaning forward and taking your hand again. “I’ll put you on that plane myself.”

“Thank you.” The warm surety of his hand makes you quake again but you hold on tighter. You need The steadiness of him almost more than you need air. “You saved my life.”

“It’s my fault your life was ever in danger.” He admits it quietly, his voice cracking slightly, giving way and turning raspy. “This is my fault. All of it. You were right about me.”

“Hey.” You open your eyes and squeeze his hand again, ignoring the gruesome way it makes the IV stand out in your arm, and breathe out a sigh. “I wish you had told me you didn’t want me living somewhere else. That’s all.”

“Didn’t think you would -“ he sighs. “I was trying to keep you safe and I put you in danger.” He changes what he was going to say, not even sure what words were going to come out.

“If I had listened to you and taken someone with me, I might not have gotten taken that night.” There has been time to reflect on it. Time for you to realize that neither of you was right. That both of your stubbornness came into play here. “The only person to blame in all this is Escobar.”

“Bastard.” He growls, clenching his jaw in fury at the man who had ordered you taken and abused. “I’m going to get him. Kill him, put him behind bars. He’s going to pay for everything he’s done.”

“I know you will.” There is no doubt about that in your mind. Not when he managed to find you in that hell hole. He can and will do whatever it takes.

“You need to rest.” He squeezes your hand gently. “Do you want something to eat? I think I saw a machine down the hall.”

“Yeah.” Nodding slightly, you’re reticent let go of his hand but food sounds amazing. Everything went down right before your one chance at food today. “Please?” When he stands, you find yourself very nervous to let him out of your sight again. “Just, um…come right back? Please? I don’t want to be alone for too long…”

“Give me two minutes.” He nods, knowing that you are skittish right now. “What’s your favorite candy bar?”

It’s a small question, but the idea of something that didn’t come out of Escobar’s safe house kitchen sounds incredible right now. “Anything with caramel,” you tell him, swallowing more thanks.

“You got it, sweetheart.” He almost smiles, nodding again. “I’ll be right back.”

******

There are more tests after you're brought to your room, and dinner is sent up – instigating a small argument with Javier when you insist on sharing because he needs to eat too but won't leave your side again. Eventually you had both simmered down again, just asked for the kitchen to send up something additional for Javier, and settled in. You don't even remember falling asleep.

At whatever point you drifted off, Javier hadn't woken you. Or even moved you. Because now he's the one sleeping — sitting up in the chair beside your bed, holding your hand, with the tv on the wall muted and subtitles ticking across the bottom of the infomercial. Whatever he had had on is over now, but his hand is still fiercely in yours.

Exhaustion had crept in. After so many long, sleepless nights pouring over every lead again and again, Javi can finally sleep. He hadn’t at first. Determine to stay awake and watch over you, but he had drifted off after crying. Having a moment where he had broken down as he held your hand, you sleeping peacefully. He had needed it. Thanking God after so many years of not talking to him for taking his mother, for sparing you.

The purple under his eyes looks a little more dramatic like this. With him sleeping so peacefully and so deeply beside you. He had worried. He had worked to find you. He had stormed a fucking safe house to find you. And suddenly you can't see anything but the irony, thinking about how you had taken care of Helena in his apartment while she continued to love him deeply. The man that you had blamed for her circumstance, and some might blame for yours. But none of that was true. Javier had rescued both of you, and if you could turn to Helena now you would tell her how entirely and devotedly you agree with her feelings for this man.

Your fingers twitch, flex, in his hand and he frowns. The brow creasing in his sleep and his thumb brushes over the back of your hand. Seeking to soothe you, even in his unconscious state. His body twists slightly in the uncomfortable chair and he murmurs your name.

"I'm right here." It's just a whisper, but you murmur it and gently rub your thumb over his hand the way he did to you. "Sleep, Javi. I'm right here."

Javi sighs softly, his body relaxing just a bit and he squeezes your hand in his sleep.

It feels impossible. But then, so is how you met him. And so is what you just went through. So is the fact that you’ve survived. It’s all impossible. It’s all complete and utter madness.

Which is why you hold his hand a little tighter for now. And let the tears fall freely all over again while you lie there and watch him sleep. So that when you’re back home, missing your soulmate and wondering if he’s finally found the happiness he’s been missing, you’ll remember that you didn’t always fight. There were times when you and Javier Peña genuinely cared for each other, too.

So it’s okay to still love him. Because you know, in this quiet moment, that you always will.

------

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flowerandblood · 5 months ago

Text

The Fall from the Heavens (36)

[ canon • Aemond x Strong • niece female ]

[ warnings: hard sexual abuse, torture and starvation, angst, swearing, description of the murders ]

[ description: A cool distance turns into friendship and more when two children see that they can find refuge and understanding in each other. However, naïve dreams collide with the reality in which every event has consequences and what once could have been love becomes a dark, newly painful obsession. Angst, sexual tension, obsession, violence, madness, very dark Aemond. ]

The story in this series is an alternate reality from the oneshot Stay and love, leave and die, in which Aemond reads the letters his niece has sent to him over the years. They are the same characters and it shows what would have happened between them − I have changed the background story from their childhood slightly for the sake of the plot.

Characters & Series Moodboard Lady Strong Moodboard Aemond & Lady Strong Moodboard Aemond & Lady Strong Childhood

* English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy! *

Next chapters: Masterlist

_____

After Prince Aemond and his wife flew off on their dragons into the skies to meet their destiny in the Eyrie, Alys knew what awaited her; Larys paid her a visit shortly after they left the fortress. Despite his light, dreamy smile, her brother's blank, dark gaze expressed everything he had to convey to her.

He was not pleased.

"I'm disappointed. I thought we had made an agreement." He hummed, walking slowly over to the table she sat at, watching him vigilantly, his hand reaching for one of the vessels in which she kept her herbs.

"Worthless objects are usually…thrown away. Do you agree with me, sister?" He asked calmly and smiled gently at her, as if he had just said something comforting. Her expression and grin did not change, although a cold, unpleasant shiver ran along her spine.

She knew what awaited her.

She had seen it in her dream.

The strange, drunken men, guards and servants who could use her body as much as they liked in the darkness of her cell.

She didn't pose or look at them – she just tried to think of something else. She imagined then her unborn child, her mother's face, the soft smile of the little girl who might already be dead, betrayed by her husband.

She tried not to exist, pretended to herself that this was not her body.

The only man who did not take the opportunity to humiliate her was the guard who had been her lover for years, the same one who had watched over her chambers.

She felt a kind of emotion when Ser Erwin came to her in the morning, before his service began, covering her bared, bruised body with a sheet, always bringing her a piece of bread, letting her drink the wine that soothed her pain.

She would not eat or drink anything Larys's servants brought her, knowing that she would die in agony afterwards.

"Forgive me. If I defy him, he will hurt my wife and my children." He muttered, pressing his lips together, his bearded, broad, masculine face contorted in a grimace of pain, his eyes red from tears of grief.

He really pitied her.

She touched his arm and he placed his wide, rough hand on hers.

"I know. Protect your family. I will survive this. I'm grateful to you for what you're doing for me and I'll never forget it."

The man nodded.

"There is something else." She whispered. Ser Erwin looked at her, surprised.

The same dream repeated itself again and again every night: a white deer in a sea of blood and a man standing over it, whose silhouette she knew very well.

"I saw a wounded white deer in the darkness. I saw you standing over him. Promise me that when Prince Aemond arrives here, you will watch over him and his wife." She said.

He stared at her as if considering her words, then nodded again and stood up, leaving her alone in her prison.

And then there was silence.

The men ceased to visit her, and there was an uneasy, dark emptiness in the fortress.

The next day he arrived.

She knew it would happen.

She knew he would come, seeking answers.

In his armour, he looked older and more mature – looking at him from afar, she thought with amusement that, indeed, he was a handsome man and, were it not for his sweet wife, she would have loved to play with him, if only for her own amusement.

So helpless, hiding behind the walls of his pride, filled with complexes and fears, like a little child craving only someone's warm word and praise.

"Why did you lie? I could have your head for this." He hissed, angry and tense, standing at a good distance from the bars as if he feared he might otherwise fall under the influence of her charms.

She laughed weakly at his words.

"If there were no capacity for treachery in you, my words would not frighten you, Your Grace. But it wouldn’t be the first time you’ve stabbed her in the back, would it?" She sneered, saying exactly what she was thinking, thus bringing him completely off balance.

"Why?" He growled, pale as if he was about to faint.

She couldn't believe how frightened he was.

Did he consider that his will as a man was so weak?

That he wouldn't control his members and would just fuck her?

"My brother reckoned that after what was going to happen in the Eyrie she would try to take her own life again. I don’t consider myself a good person, but I’m not heartless. I wanted you to be horrified by my words and get her as far away from here as possible." She said.

"How dare you manipulate me and my wife." He hissed, enraged.

"I didn’t manipulate her. There was no need for that. You. Your pride wouldn’t allow you to listen to the advice of a bastard woman, on top of the Strong line. A witch’s prophecy that could give birth to your bastard child would be a different matter. Wouldn’t it?’" She asked mockingly and noticed how something changed in the look in his eye, his brow arching in pain.

He was suffering.

But why?

After a moment, however, the expression on his face changed, replaced by fury.

"Whose fucking side are you on, you insolent whore?" He growled through clenched teeth, as if he felt like spitting on her.

She realised then that it wasn't himself he was afraid of, but her.

She liked that.

"I am on my side. But my cold heart supports your wife. She has broken deep into it and refuses to leave it. I’m certain you understand me. Such a sweet girl." She hummed, wanting to bring him out of his daze, and the effect she provoked was even stronger than she had anticipated.

"SHUT YOUR MOUTH!" He shouted low, hatred and madness in his eye, his jaw clenched as tightly as if it was going to burst – he took one step towards her cell as if he wanted to tear her apart but stopped, panting heavily.

Gods.

He was jealous of his little wife.

He was afraid she would take her away from him.

His rage and fear were indeed great, for it seemed to her that he really wanted her to die of hunger and thirst. It was only a few days later that the guards whom she did not know and who had probably travelled with him from King's Landing opened her cell, ordering her to rise.

She did so with difficulty, sore, hungry and thirsty, and moved slowly with them through the familiar corridors of the fortress of Harrenhal. She pressed her lips together as she noticed out of the corner of her eye a fair-haired man watching her vigilantly, one of her brother's spies.

What was he doing here?

Why hadn't the prince sent him away?

Only then did she realise that he certainly had claimed to be a completely different person, putting his guards' vigilance to sleep.

"I need to speak to the Prince." She muttered, sitting down on her bed without strength. The guard placed a plate of bread and a jug of apple juice on her table.

"Be silent, witch. Be thankful to the gods that you are still alive." Said the man through clenched teeth, looking at her with disgust and left, closing the door. She heard the sound of the key turning in the lock and sighed heavily, burying her face in her hands.

She thought that Larys would certainly not poison the prince, but would be watching him with the help of this boy.

Indeed, the man brought her food and drink several times. She sniffed the juice he brought her and then split an apple lying on a tray in half and poured the contents of her cup over it. She snorted under her breath as the apple instantly turned black and began to break into pieces.

The Last Breath.

A poison created from a decoction of several herbs that could only be found locally in the region of Riverdale, slowing the heart rate and making breathing difficult, in large quantities suffocating the victim, in small quantities causing slow agony.

For reasons she understood, Prince Aemond did not visit her throughout his stay in Harrenhal, thus earning her respect and affection – she recognised that since he wanted to catch her brother he felt guilty and wanted to reward his wife for his moment of hesitation.

One night she dreamt of a great stone fortress reaching up to the sky surrounded by clouds, around which she seemed to hear the sea. She looked down upon it, flying on a dragon she had never seen before.

She opened her eyes and swallowed hard, wondering what she had actually seen and what it meant.

The dragon she saw belonged to neither Prince Aemond nor his wife.

So to whom?

That she did not know, but she knew for a fact that she would be leaving Harrenhal soon.

And then she appeared in the doorway of her chamber.

She felt a pleasant warmth in her stomach at the sight of her, her heart pounding faster in the hope that perhaps this girl would forgive her for what she had done, understand that she wanted her good.

She swallowed hard noticing in her eyes sadness so deep and infinite that she felt a squeeze in her throat.

"You predicted my husband would give birth to your bastard child." She said in a trembling, breaking voice, betrayed, humiliated, distraught.

"I lied. I saw nothing of the sort neither in my dreams nor in the fire." She said calmly, looking her straight in the eye. The prince's wife pressed her lips together at her words and furrowed her brow, anger and frustration in her gaze that startled her.

"How dare you lie to my husband, and your Prince?" She asked dryly, standing up for her husband to her astonishment.

How dare you manipulate me and my wife.

She saw that her hand was stroking her lower abdomen in a gesture of nervousness, something she had not done before.

Two streams of blood finally merging into one.

"You are expecting his child." She whispered, but the girl didn't answer her.

Alys sighed heavily.

"My brother had plans for you. He ordered me to seduce the Prince. He wanted you to step aside and try to take your own life again. He knew that your husband would then fall into complete darkness."

Her eyebrows arched in pain, as if some part of her really wanted to believe her.

She was so innocent.

"You didn't tell me about this."

"No."

"You and my husband. You are identical."

She smiled sadly at her words, understanding perfectly what she meant.

They were both a dancing, aggressive fire that burned everything around them, lonely stars in the sky that could only devour each other.

"Yes. Yes, we are."

Her eyebrows arched in pain, her pretty, bright eyes shone with tears of disappointment.

"I believed you."

"I regret not telling you. I didn't want to destroy your already strained trust in him." She whispered, lowering her gaze to the stone floor, recognising, however, that there was nothing more she could do now.

It was already too late.

"Did you make an attempt?"

She blinked, snapped out of her reverie and looked at her, not understanding her question.

"Your Grace?"

"Did you try to seduce him?"

"No. I didn't go near him."

"Why?"

"Because he would have killed me. I just wanted your husband to make the right decision. For him to be scared of what might happen, to try to change the future. For him to tell you about what's happening here."

"I believed you. I opened my heart to you." She muttered in a breaking voice, from which she felt a cold sweat on her neck.

"I know."

The girl pressed her lips together – even though she was clearly trying to remain calm a single, lonely tear ran down her cheek.

"− there are still people in this fortress who will want to kill you − especially beware of the young, fair-haired man − don't eat or drink anything he serves you −" She said finally, wanting her to understand that hurting her was never her purpose or desire.

Like her husband, she could not express her feelings or affection other than through actions, even if they remained incomprehensible to her.

"− why didn't you tell my husband about this? −" She muttered in disbelief.

"− I saw this boy when I was moved back to my chamber − the Prince didn't want to see me anymore then − this servant brought me poisoned food several times, a gift from my brother −"

An uncomfortable, long silence fell between them − her gaze expressed horror, shock and disbelief, her small figure trembling all over in fear. She finally swallowed loudly and lifted her chin higher, trying to control herself and calm down.

"My husband gave Harrenhal to me to rule. That means I will decide what happens to the people who serve here, including you."

Alys didn't even flinch at her words, thinking only with her admiration that her husband did indeed have a great deal of remorse for what he had never actually done.

She thought that perhaps she had inadvertently contributed to something that helped them both.

Her husband had opened up to her, shown her his weakness and helplessness, and she hadn't pushed him away despite her disappointment.

"I saw it in a dream. A stone castle reaching to the skies. That's where you'll send me away." She said softly, and she nodded as if it was indeed as she had said.

"I will not forget what you have done for me, that you warned me. As an expression of my gratitude you will be given gold, and by my order all your belongings will be moved to the Eyrie. My cousin, after spies were discovered in his fortress, is indebted to my family and will receive you with honours. I will introduce you in my letter as a valuable medic who should work alongside the maester. You will not lack anything there."

The Eyrie?

She remained silent, wondering if there was a sea or river somewhere near this fortress, but she wasn't sure.

She decided it didn't matter.

And then what she had feared happened.

The boy had tried to poison her.

She wondered if Prince Aemond would come to her chamber and kill her too, but he didn't.

She heard the guards speaking with each other, saying that he had ordered the servants to try the poisoned wine, and they died one by one in agony in front of his eyes.

They said that looking at them the Prince was grinning broadly.

She swallowed hard at the thought and closed her eyes, already understanding why her brother cared so much about ending her life.

Larys was willing to sacrifice all these people just to get rid of this little girl once and for all and regain his power over her husband.

In keeping with his wife's wishes, she prepared to leave − she did not resent her for wanting to send her away, in fact feeling a peace in her soul at the thought that perhaps her life would now be better than it had been, and she would not have to worry about her welfare.

She looked towards her door, surprised when she heard someone turn the key in the lock. After a moment, it opened, and a young man with beautiful dark curls and bright eyes entered her chamber. She blinked, thinking he reminded her of someone, but she wasn't sure who.

Who was he that he could walk in here?

"My Lady." He said softly and bowed, as if she were a lady of great lineage and not a bastard. She smiled indulgently at the thought, folding one of her gowns, placing it in her trunk alongside the other things she wanted to take with her.

"My Lord." She replied, eager to hear what the young man was coming to her with.

The boy seemed ashamed and uncertain, as if he himself did not know what he was actually doing in her quarters. He began to look around her room, looking at the jars and vessels full of herbs, roots, liquids and other objects she used in her craft.

"I heard you're a witch. Is that true?" He asked casually, a light, wry smile on his lips, as if the thought amused him. She smirked involuntarily at his words, tucking her books into her trunk.

"So they say, my Lord." She hummed and sighed quietly, wondering whether or not a book on philosophy would be of use to her in the Eyrie.

"Did you know my father?" He asked finally, and she looked at him surprised, finally understanding who was standing before her.

He was her brother.

Yes, she thought.

They were so similar.

"Yes." She replied calmly, reaching for more books from her shelf. The boy shifted from foot to foot and swallowed hard, tense.

"Was he a good man? A man of honour?" He asked proudly, however his voice trembled, as if he feared her answer. She froze in mid-motion and thought for a moment.

"He was a compassionate man with a sharp tongue. He was cordial. He laughed a lot. He always treated me with dignity, and his father was proud of him." She finally replied, involuntarily remembering his face.

"Wasn't that your father too?" He asked uncertainly, and she smiled involuntarily.

"Indeed, but only formally. He put his seed inside my poor mother, nothing more." She said.

A long silence fell between them.

"I am also a bastard." He said finally and drew in the air loudly, as if the words were leaving his throat with difficulty. "And I regret that I came into this world."

She turned towards him, curious, wondering if he was looking for her support and advice. She cocked her head and hummed, running her fingers along the table top in front of her.

"From what I understand, you have become heir to Dragonstone. Would you rather be a bastard king? People don't forget someone's origins, even less so when that person rules a kingdom."

She saw that he lifted the gaze of his bright eyes to her, in his expression something similar to what she had seen in the face of Prince Aemond's wife.

They were both sensitive, warm, compassionate, empathetic and assertive at the same time, but what in her case as a woman was an asset, in his case was clearly the cause of his complexes and misery.

He felt too fragile, too weak, unable to be the kind of man that was expected of him − cold, brutal, threatening, mocking, ironic.

It was impossible to change his nature and he felt humiliated.

She thought she understood him.

"You also have a beautiful betrothed. I saw her arrive with your sister through that window." She said calmly, walking around her table and past him, reaching for one of the jars that stood on a bookcase against the wall. When she turned, he was looking at her in a way from which she stopped in half a step.

"I don't love her. And she doesn't love me."

She blinked and swallowed quietly, not taking her eyes off him. He gave up and lowered his head, his cheeks red with shame.

"Marriages are rarely created on the basis of true passionate, sincere affection." She replied, not intending to judge or rebuke him.

"However, my sister does not see the world beyond my uncle, and he spends every night with her." He muttered angrily and regretfully, like a small child who envied others for being able to play with better toys. She sighed quietly at his words and shook her head.

"Their affection was a gift to them from the gods." She said, walking back to her trunk, putting the jar of herbs inside.

"Are you leaving Harrenhal?" He asked suddenly, as if understanding that she was packing her belongings to set off on her journey.

"Your sister is sending me to your cousin in the Eyrie to serve him as a medic." She said calmly. Her nephew stepped closer to her, furrowing his brow.

"Why?"

Curious little thing.

"They don't want anyone associated with Larys Strong to remain in the fortress." She lied. "Thanks to her, Prince Aemond spared my life."

"When are you leaving?" He asked uncertainly, and she glanced at him out of the corner of her eye.

"In a few days. I am to be accompanied by your uncle's troops and I must wait for his order."

The boy nodded, tense.

"May I also visit you tomorrow? To speak with you." He asked without looking at her, filled with shame, and she nodded.

Her nephew said a polite goodbye and left her chamber, leaving her in a state of confusion.

Indeed, he came to see her the next day and every day after, clearly in a better mood.

He walked around her chamber, asking her many questions.

"Have you ever seen a dragon up close?"

"No, my Prince."

"You don't have to call me that. You are my aunt."

Her lips twitched in a mocking smile at his words.

"Very well."

"Why have you never married anyone?"

"A bastard-wife is a burden. Unless it's your sister." She replied with amusement, and he gave her a drawn-out look.

Something in her words made him uncomfortable.

"You think you're going to be a burden to your betrothed? I don't think she pays attention to that sort of thing. She seems to be a strong woman." She said softly, and he swallowed hard, looking down at his feet.

"She is. She has an overwhelmingly strong character. I'm not able to…keep up. I get tired of how fast she lives, how many things she wants." He confessed with shame, once again exposing his oversensitive, fragile nature to her.

"Sometimes people just don't fit together."

He looked at her and furrowed his brow, as if he didn't understand what she had said.

"What do you mean?"

She sighed heavily, looking away, spreading herself comfortably in the chair. She smiled involuntarily when she noticed that, despite his efforts, his gaze escaped for a moment to her full, soft breasts, hidden only beneath the material of her thin gown.

"It is impossible to change human nature. Not at its core. You can be different, but marriage, it seems to me, is about complementing each other."

He lifted his gaze back to her eyes, his lips parted as if he had run out of words. He nodded his head and grunted, walking uncertainly over to the table, sitting down in one of the chairs. He began to play with his fingers, as if he was fighting with himself.

"I don't know what I could do to change. To be what everyone expects me to be.’

"Stop killing yourself."

He looked at her and she shook her head, furrowing her brow.

"What?"

"You're killing your sensitivity. Your calmness, your thoughtfulness. Your warm nature, which is the reason for your shame. You want to be like your uncle, but you're not. Maturity is about taking responsibility for your decisions, and you are running away from it. You become a man when you confront your desires."

Prince Jacaerys seemed completely surprised by her words, simultaneously distressed and filled with hope. He lowered his gaze, looking down at his fingers, silent for a long moment.

"Fly with me to Dragonstone."

She looked at him in disbelief, for a moment not knowing what to say, shocked.

This boy completely lost his mind.

"I don't follow." She confessed.

Her nephew looked at her with a gleam in his eye, from which she felt a squeeze in her lower abdomen.

"Fly with me to Dragonstone. You are my blood. I do not want you to be the servant of a lord who will be able to use you and…" He did not finish, his cheeks red with shame.

Something in his words, in the fact that he was concerned about her fate and welfare, touched her.

She thought this boy had a really good heart.

"Your sister has ordered me to set out for the Eyrie."

"My sister wishes you to disappear from Harrenhal. I desire you to accompany me on my journey back to Dragonstone."

She laughed at his words.

"Who will I be there? Your whore?"

The boy furrowed his brow, looking at her in shock.

"My aunt."

Her smile vanished from her face, her brow furrowed in anger.

"Truly you are still a little child."

"I want this."

"You don't know what you want. Who I am."

"You are just like me. Abandoned. Alone. Marked. Without purpose, without a chance to have the dignity you deserve. I seem to have finally understood my sister. What she and my uncle have in common. I felt something immediately when I saw you for the first time. I'm not speaking of lust − I'm speaking of a feeling that I've never before met a person who could accept me as I am. Some part of me believes that I was destined to meet you."

He whispered, as if he was referring to something he was ashamed of, desperate and embarrassed, his bright eyes full of hot emotion that frightened her, overwhelmed her and moved her at the same time.

Only then did she understand.

A stone fortress reaching up to the sky, with the sound of water all around it.

The dragon on whose back she flew, which she had never seen before.

Her destiny had come for her.

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