#she had 11 living children and left when she was 47

[jelly-o630]

Everything I learn about my grandpa just reinforces the fact that my dad did a GREAT job

[henry-holden]

BASICS.

Name: Henry Laurence Holden Age: 47 Occupation: Veterinarian, Owner of Whiskey Flats Vet Pronouns & Gender: He/Him & Cis Man Neighborhood: Unincorporated

BIOGRAPHY.

— Henry started from humble beginnings, a small town farmer for a father and a nurse for a mother. Working hard and staying focused were ingrained in him since the moment he could walk. Life and death came hand in hand when your father raised pigs and cattle and chickens, especially when they were largely for personal use. Of course, his mother came home with her own stories as well. As an only child, Henry always knew he had to make something of himself. 

— He met his late wife Jesenia while in Vet school. She was a woman full of vibrant and chaotic light. The perfect opposite to his controlled and focused personality. Together they flourished. It took them a few years to get started on their family, but once they did it was like they’d found their true rhythm. As far as parents go, they were rocking it. Both were team players who’d grown up as only children desperate for someone else to share in the craziness of life. They weren’t perfect of course. Sometimes Henry worked too much and Jesenia got lost in her own head from time to time, losing the joy when the summer months faded into the gray of December. Still, they were there for each other… a family.

— Car crashes happen to even the best people. While on her way to their youngest daughter's 6 month appointment Jesenia was involved in a 3 car pile up. The carseat saved their daughters life, but after 4 months in the hospital it was decided that there would be no trip home for mom. Those first years were a blur. Henry’s tires were spinning without gaining any traction. 

— Henry came across Whiskey Flats almost by accident. Living in the city was starting to stress him out. A place that had once felt endless felt like a noose. His temper flared and his skin itched. He longed for the freedom that came with land… he longed for the way he’d grown up. The epiphany came during an early morning drive to work: he needed to give his children the same space he’d had as a kid. Finding Whiskey Flats Vet for sale online seemed like an obvious answer to his problems. 

— He has a 13 year old daughter (Valerie), an 11 year old daughter (Haley), a 10 year old son (Sebastian), and a 7 year old daughter (Caroline). He loves them more than anything and while he tries to have some semblance of order and control, he also knows that his children take after their mother in a lot of ways. They are full of creative energy and frustration and hope and love. His eldest daughter in particular butts heads with him often and he’s trying to find the balance between being understanding and authoritative. 

— Jesenia’s parents left a relatively large sum of money for Henry and the children and that helped to buy the 10 acres they currently live on. Due to his youngest daughters love of animals and his son’s love of general chaos… they currently have 15+ chickens, 3 rescue ducks, 2 rescue goats, 1 old mutt, and 4 rescued cats (2 indoor, 2 barn cats). He doesn’t know how he managed to let things get so out of hand, but at least his children are learning what it means to work a little hard and take care of other living things. His 11 year old has also taken up trying to start her own garden. So far, the Texas heat has not made things easy.

[neil-gaiman]

How Did you come up with the first eve in the story about adams wives? I haven’t been able to find anything about her after I read it and I want to know if she’s an actual biblical character or just someone you made

She's from the Midrash. I learned about her as a 12 year old, from my barmitzvah teacher. There was a point in there, long after I'd put her into Sandman, where I was starting to think I'd imagined her, when I ran across her in Robert Graves's Hebrew Myths....

Excerpt from: The Hebrew Myths by Robert Graves and Raphael Patai (New York:  Doubleday, 1964), pp 65-69

Chapter 10: Adam's Helpmeets

(a) Having decided to give Adam a helpmeet lest he should be alone of his kind, God put him into a deep sleep, removed one of his ribs, formed it into a woman, and closed up the wound, Adam awoke and said: 'This being shall be named "Woman", because she has been taken out of man. A man and a woman shall be one flesh.' The title he gave her was Eve, 'the Mother of All Living''. [1]

(b) Some say that God created man and woman in His own image on the Sixth Day, giving them charge over the world; [2]  but that Eve did not yet exist. Now, God had set Adam to name every beast, bird and other living thing. When they passed before him in pairs, male and female, Adam-being already like a twenty-year-old man-felt jealous of their loves, and though he tried coupling with each female in turn, found no satisfaction in the act. He therefore cried: 'Every creature but I has a proper mate', and prayed God would remedy this injustice. [3]

(c) God then formed Lilith, the first woman, just as He had formed Adam, except that He used filth and sediment instead of pure dust. From Adam's union with this demoness, and with another like her named Naamah, Tubal Cain's sister, sprang Asmodeus and innumerable demons that still plague mankind. Many generations later, Lilith and Naamah came to Solomon's judgement seat, disguised as harlots of Jerusalem'. [4]

(d) Adam and Lilith never found peace together; for when he wished to lie with her, she took offence at the recumbent posture he demanded. 'Why must I lie beneath you?' she asked. 'I also was made from dust, and am therefore your equal.' Because Adam tried to compel her obedience by force, Lilith, in a rage, uttered the magic name of God, rose into the air and left him.

Adam complained to God: 'I have been deserted by my helpmeet' God at once sent the angels Senoy, Sansenoy and Semangelof to fetch Lilith back. They found her beside the Red Sea, a region abounding in lascivious demons, to whom she bore lilim at the rate of more than one hundred a day. 'Return to Adam without delay,' the angels said, `or we will drown you!' Lilith asked: `How can I return to Adam and live like an honest housewife, after my stay beside the Red Sea?? 'It will be death to refuse!' they answered. `How can I die,' Lilith asked again, `when God has ordered me to take charge of all newborn children: boys up to the eighth day of life, that of circumcision; girls up to the twentieth day. None the less, if ever I see your three names or likenesses displayed in an amulet above a newborn child, I promise to spare it.' To this they agreed; but God punished Lilith by making one hundred of her demon children perish daily; [5] and if she could not destroy a human infant, because of the angelic amulet, she would spitefully turn against her own. [6]

(e) Some say that Lilith ruled as queen in Zmargad, and again in Sheba; and was the demoness who destroyed job's sons. [7] Yet she escaped the curse of death which overtook Adam, since they had parted long before the Fall. Lilith and Naamah not only strangle infants but also seduce dreaming men, any one of whom, sleeping alone, may become their victim. [8]

(f) Undismayed by His failure to give Adam a suitable helpmeet, God tried again, and let him watch while he built up a woman's anatomy: using bones, tissues, muscles, blood and glandular secretions, then covering the whole with skin and adding tufts of hair in places. The sight caused Adam such disgust that even when this woman, the First Eve, stood there in her full beauty, he felt an invincible repugnance. God knew that He had failed once more, and took the First Eve away. Where she went, nobody knows for certain. [9]

(g) God tried a third time, and acted more circumspectly. Having taken a rib from Adam's side in his sleep, He formed it into a woman; then plaited her hair and adorned her, like a bride, with twenty-four pieces of jewellery, before waking him. Adam was entranced. [10]

(h) Some say that God created Eve not from Adam's rib, but from a tail ending in a sting which had been part of his body. God cut this off, and the stump-now a useless coccyx-is still carried by Adam's descendants. [11]

(i) Others say that God's original thought had been to create two human beings, male and female; but instead He designed a single one with a male face looking forward, and a female face looking back. Again He changed His mind, removed Adam's backward-looking face, and built a woman's body for it. [12]

(j) Still others hold that Adam was originally created as an androgyne of male and female bodies joined back to back. Since this posture made locomotion difficult, and conversation awkward, God divided the androgyne and gave each half a new rear. These separate beings He placed in Eden, forbidding them to couple. [13]

Notes on sources:

1. Genesis II. 18-25; III. 20.

2. Genesis I. 26-28.

3. Gen. Rab. 17.4; B. Yebamot 632.

4. Yalqut Reubeni ad. Gen. II. 21; IV. 8.

5. Alpha Beta diBen Sira, 47; Gaster, MGWJ, 29 (1880), 553 ff.

6. Num. Rab. 16.25.

7. Targum ad job 1. 15.

8. B. Shabbat 151b; Ginzberg, LJ, V. 147-48.

9. Gen. Rab. 158, 163-64; Mid. Abkir 133, 135; Abot diR. Nathan 24; B. Sanhedrin 39a.

10. Gen. II. 21-22; Gen. Rab. 161.

11. Gen. Rab. 134; B. Erubin 18a.

12. B. Erubin 18a.

13. Gen. Rab. 55; Lev. Rab. 14.1: Abot diR. Nathan 1.8; B. Berakhot 61a; B. Erubin 18a; Tanhuma Tazri'a 1; Yalchut Gen. 20; Tanh. Buber iii.33; Mid. Tehillim 139, 529.

Authors’ Comments on the Myth:

1. The tradition that man's first sexual intercourse was with animals, not women, may be due to the widely spread practice of bestiality among herdsmen of the Middle East, which is still condoned by custom, although figuring three times in the Pentateuch as a capital crime. In the Akkadian Gilgamesh Epic, Enkidu is said to have lived with gazelles and jostled other wild beasts at the watering place, until civilized by Aruru's priestess. Having enjoyed her embraces for six days and seven nights, he wished to rejoin the wild beasts but, to his surprise, they fled from him. Enkidu then knew that he had gained understanding, and the priestess said: 'Thou art wise, Enkidu, like unto a godl'

2. Primeval man was held by the Babylonians to have been androgynous. Thus the Gilgamesh Epic gives Enkidu androgynous features: `the hair of his head like a woman's, with locks that sprout like those of Nisaba, the Grain-goddess.' The Hebrew tradition evidently derives from Greek sources, because both terms used in a Tannaitic midrash to describe the bisexual Adam are Greek: androgynos, 'man-woman', and diprosopon, 'twofaced'. Philo of Alexandria, the Hellenistic philosopher and commentator on the Bible, contemporary with Jesus, held that man was at first bisexual; so did the Gnostics. This belief is clearly borrowed from Plato. Yet the myth of two bodies placed back to back may well have been founded on observation of Siamese twins, which are sometimes joined in this awkward manner. The two-faced Adam appears to be a fancy derived from coins or statues of Janus, the Roman New Year god.

3. Divergences between the Creation myths of Genesis r and n, which allow Lilith to be presumed as Adam's first mate, result from a careless weaving together of an early Judaean and a late priestly tradition. The older version contains the rib incident. Lilith typifies the Anath-worshipping Canaanite women, who were permitted pre-nuptial promiscuity. Time after time the prophets denounced Israelite women for following Canaanite practices; at first, apparently, with the priests' approval-since their habit of dedicating to God the fees thus earned is expressly forbidden in Deuteronomy xxIII. I8. Lilith's flight to the Red Sea recalls the ancient Hebrew view that water attracts demons. 'Tortured and rebellious demons' also found safe harbourage in Egypt. Thus Asmodeus, who had strangled Sarah's first six husbands, fled 'to the uttermost parts of Egypt' (Tobit viii. 3), when Tobias burned the heart and liver of a fish on their wedding night.

4. Lilith's bargain with the angels has its ritual counterpart in an apotropaic rite once performed in many Jewish communities. To protect the newborn child against Lilith-and especially a male, until he could be permanently safeguarded by circumcision-a ring was drawn with natron, or charcoal, on the wall of the birthroom, and inside it were written the words: 'Adam and Eve. Out, Lilith!' Also the names Senoy, Sansenoy and Semangelof (meanings uncertain) were inscribed on the door. If Lilith nevertheless succeeded in approaching the child and fondling him, he would laugh in his sleep. To avert danger, it was held wise to strike the sleeping child's lips with one finger-whereupon Lilith would vanish.

5. 'Lilith' is usually derived from the Babylonian-Assyrian word lilitu, ,a female demon, or wind-spirit'-one of a triad mentioned in Babylonian spells. But she appears earlier as 'Lillake' on a 2000 B.G. Sumerian tablet from Ur containing the tale of Gilgamesh and the Willow Tree. There she is a demoness dwelling in the trunk of a willow-tree tended by the Goddess Inanna (Anath) on the banks of the Euphrates. Popular Hebrew etymology seems to have derived 'Lilith' from layil, 'night'; and she therefore often appears as a hairy night-monster, as she also does in Arabian folklore. Solomon suspected the Queen of Sheba of being Lilith, because she had hairy legs. His judgement on the two harlots is recorded in I Kings III. 16 ff. According to Isaiah xxxiv. I4-I5, Lilith dwells among the desolate ruins in the Edomite Desert where satyrs (se'ir), reems, pelicans, owls, jackals, ostriches, arrow-snakes and kites keep her company.

6. Lilith's children are called lilim. In the Targum Yerushalmi, the priestly blessing of Numbers vi. 26 becomes: 'The Lord bless thee in all thy doings, and preserve thee from the Lilim!' The fourth-century A.D. commentator Hieronymus identified Lilith with the Greek Lamia, a Libyan queen deserted by Zeus, whom his wife Hera robbed of her children. She took revenge by robbing other women of theirs.

7. The Lamiae, who seduced sleeping men, sucked their blood and ate their flesh, as Lilith and her fellow-demonesses did, were also known as Empusae, 'forcers-in'; or Mormolyceia, 'frightening wolves'; and described as 'Children of Hecate'. A Hellenistic relief shows a naked Lamia straddling a traveller asleep on his back. It is characteristic of civilizations where women are treated as chattels that they must adopt the recumbent posture during intercourse, which Lilith refused. That Greek witches who worshipped Hecate favoured the superior posture, we know from Apuleius; and it occurs in early Sumerian representations of the sexual act, though not in the Hittite. Malinowski writes that Melanesian girls ridicule what they call `the missionary position', which demands that they should lie passive and recumbent.

8. Naamah, 'pleasant', is explained as meaning that 'the demoness sang pleasant songs to idols'. Zmargad suggest smaragdos, the semi-precious aquamarine; and may therefore be her submarine dwelling. A demon named Smaragos occurs in the Homeric Epigrams.

9. Eve's creation by God from Adam's rib-a myth establishing male supremacy and disguising Eve's divinity-lacks parallels in Mediterranean or early Middle-Eastern myth. The story perhaps derives iconotropically from an ancient relief, or painting, which showed the naked Goddess Anath poised in the air, watching her lover Mot murder his twin Aliyan; Mot (mistaken by the mythographer for Yahweh) was driving a curved dagger under Aliyan's fifth rib, not removing a sixth one. The familiar story is helped by a hidden pun on tsela, the Hebrew for 'rib': Eve, though designed to be Adam's helpmeet, proved to be a tsela, a 'stumbling', or 'misfortune'. Eve's formation from Adam's tail is an even more damaging myth; perhaps suggested by the birth of a child with a vestigial tail instead of a coccyx-a not infrequent occurrence.

10. The story of Lilith's escape to the East and of Adam's subsequent marriage to Eve may, however, record an early historical incident: nomad herdsmen, admitted into Lilith's Canaanite queendom as guests (see 16. 1), suddenly seize power and, when the royal household thereupon flees, occupy a second queendom which owes allegiance to the Hittite Goddess Heba.

The meaning of 'Eve' is disputed. Hawwah is explained in Genesis III. 20 as 'mother of all living'; but this may well be a Hebraicized form of the divine name Heba, Hebat, Khebat or Khiba. This goddess, wife of the Hittite Storm-god, is shown riding a lion in a rock-sculpture at Hattusaswhich equates her with Anath-and appears as a form of Ishtar in Hurrian texts. She was worshipped at Jerusalem (see 27. 6). Her Greek name was Hebe, Heracles's goddess-wife.

[the-deeds-to-shibden]

Thursday 13 August 1840

[Anne misdated this entry as Thursday 11 August]

[this is the very last known journal entry Anne Lister ever made]

(Image courtesy of the West Yorkshire Archive service)

[up at] 6 1/4

[to bed at] 9 1/2

awakened last night between 1 and 2 cats at my cheese and squalling children squalling enough to distract the old gentleman himself   Ann awoke me before 6 anxious to be off – she ordered the horses – she out of sorts – terrible – did a good job so many women and people knew not whom to give to – gave nothing – the cottages so hid amid the trees and vines and 8 feet high maize hardly visible except when close upon them – off at 6 50/.. – the children especially and the men and women look pale and yellow and unhealthy in this moist hot bottom – at 7 35/.. Engour fine river nearish (left) ascend highish (left bank) above it and go upwards along its broad bouldery bedded islandy streamy course for ever thro’ lanes of alder and hazel every now and then in our eyes – bits of deep mud every now and then   at 8 1/4 at village (large) of Dvjari /Djvari/ i.e. orchards vine-covered, tees alders pyrus diospyros etc., the woods chiefly beech and next in quantity oak – at 8 20/.. close upon the Engour – then ascend again on high ground always in the village of Dvjari no houses to be seen – all hid – fine river running downwards amid lower green wooded rounded beautiful hills, and upwards amid higher such hills – beautiful valley   at 8 55/.. at the large beautiful square green of the village in the style of Zugdidi – with several picturesque goodish galleried sacles scattered around – alight at one of them (empty) at 9 to breakfast – the white krepost castle on wooded ridge of hill almost hid among the wood close over the river (left bank) – wrote so far till now 11 10/.. and Reaumur very nearly 21° – breakfast from 11 1/4 to 12 50/.. including a tolerably comfortable wash inside the sacle – 

off at 1 3/4 – at 2 50/.. out of our narrow lanes thro’ tall brackens in the bottom and I passed thro’ wood (beech and Spanish chesnut and alder and walnut) and up steepish not good ascent and then fine view over rich extensive wooded plain and the old tower of prince Āppăkīdzĭ at the village of Satchīnă close (left) – stop 5 minutes under enormous lime tree for the men to get water – off again from Satchina at 2 55/.. steepish bad descent down wood again from here – then up the hill and down and forded little stream and 2 or 3 or more cottages at 3 1/2 still the village of Satchina – and Indian corn 9 or 10 feet high – a village (Sapêlĭ) is a little district – at 3 35/.. ford good broadish stream, the Īnsēērăh – and at 3 42/.. ford the Islēēăh an equally good stream – beautiful little green comby valleys among the rounded wooded hills, and here and there houses and fields on the lower hills – at 3 47/.. ford the Islēēăh again – several more scattered cottages still the same village of Satchīnă – at 4 10/.. the village of Nărolōōgĕe (hid) at a little distance (left) – at 4 18/.. in the bottom and ford little stream and ascend again – at 4 40/.. put on mackintosh cloak rain not heavy but likely to continue – 

at 4 55/.. stop at wicker hedge against field of Indian corn said to be the village of Djkālĭ tho’ I see no house at all – the old castle of Djĕgālĭ (prince Mantchar Dadian) he lives at some other village castle deserted and empty? beautiful groups o valleys and rounded hills – Mingrelia very beautiful and fine race of men – e.g. our David and several others whom we have seen – all our 3 men have left us to seek somebody or something – Adam came back in 1/2 hour – Ann had had an egg beaten up, and I had the things off my horse and done up my mackintosh – David does not know the road – get a man to go with us to the village – he now says it is 6 (instead of 3) hours from here to [blank] and 6 days from here to Muri – terrible – an hour lost here – off to the village Djkali at 6 5/.. and arrived at 6 3/4 – 2 sacles – arrange ourselves in the Indian corn barn (a little wicker place perhaps 4 1/2 x 3 yards[)] – spread our burcas on straw and now 8 25/.. I have just [written] in it the last 19 lines – high hills north and within ridges of wooded hill rising every now and then into little wooded conical summits – the sides of the hills furrowed and little conical summits on the ridges of the sides – tea etc. now at 8 25/.. [in pencil:] 1 crooglie – lay down at 9 1/2

WYAS page:  SH:7/ML/E/24/0174

[demonslayedher]

How Does Eating Humans Work?

Hello, Gotou here. We’re shamelessly borrowing from the format of a KnY Fanbook #2 comic to launch an investigation into demon metabolism and development by crossing the Sanzu River again to interview demons in the underworld. While we’ll be using canon materials as a base, the analysis and conjecture herein is personal, so we ask for your understanding. Also, please note that consuming any food in the underworld will make you unable to return, and we cannot promise your safety even though the interview subjects are dead, so please come along at your own risk.

Some of the questions we’d like to answer are, why do demons need to eat humans? How much do they need to eat to survive? Are there factors that influence how eating humans makes them stronger? If they don’t want to kill humans, what are their other options? We’ve rounded up some special guests below the cut (hidden for length and grossness), everyone from the lowly Temple Demon to the lovely Tamayo, to see what their actions in canon might tell us.

First, a review of what canon tells us, mostly as summarized in Fanbook #2: 1. With one exception named Yushirou, all demons were created by Kibutsuji Muzan, for his own purposes. They all have some amount of his blood, and can be divided into four classes depending on how powerful they are. From top to bottom, the Upper Moons, the Lower Moons, demons with special abilities, and other demons without any special characteristics. 2. Demons may be stronger depending on how much of Kibutsuji Muzan’s blood they have. Most beings’ cannot handle a large amount of his blood, and it will rupture the cells and that being will die, but there are demons who adapt well to it. 3. Typically, sunlight is the only way to kill a demon, by either bathing them in sunlight or cutting of their head with a Nichirin blade. However, there are powerful demons for whom chopping off their head does not work, and if it’s strong enough, demons can also be killed by wisteria poison.

4. Demons eat human blood and flesh. The more they eat, the stronger they become, and the faster their regenerative abilities become. Some humans have “Marechi,” a rare blood type, which is especially nutritious to demons, and eating one Marechi is the equivalent of eating several humans.

That’s an interesting thing we’d like to come back to, especially since we’re looking for quantitative information about how demons gain nutrition (though I have my doubts we'll get enough for statistical analysis). As an interesting note, Fanbook #2 also tells us that if demons try to consume the same edibles humans do, they’ll vomit it back up.

I’m told that Miss Tamayo drinks tea, though. That’ll be an interesting question for later. In my notes, it seems she’s also explained to Tanjirou back in Chapter 15 that demons will normally go berserk if they go a long time without consuming any blood or flesh. Berserk is one thing, but I wonder if they can starve to death? We’ll see if these canon clues will lead us to anything. We’ll begin now in an interview format. Hopefully this will go smoothly, but I’ve got a feeling it won’t. First up, we’ve the Temple Demon.

Temple: Who were you calling ‘lowly’ just now? Up there, above the cut?

Gotou: That was in a literal sense, not having Blood Techniques means you’re in the bottom common tier of demons.

Temple: Argh. Fine. What do you want to know?

Gotou: In Chapter 2, you were spotted with three human victims. However, it seems you left their bodies mostly intact and only ate small parts instead of consuming one full human at a time. Could you comment on this?

Temple: I’d have gotten to more later if that whelp with the strong legs didn’t interrupt me! Who’s got time to eat entire humans anyway? I went for the easy stuff first.

Gotou: I see. It appears you might had focused on key organs, like the heart and the liver. Would you say these are especially nutritionally dense?

Temple: I guess. If I’m going to eat humans, I’m going to start with what’s worth bothering to digest. Blood’s easier on the stomach, so that’s what I was busy with on the lady there.

Gotou: Then it takes effort to digest? Hmm. Let’s come back to this later. How many humans would you say you consumed, including these three?

Temple: Not a lot… I tried to get a variety so I could get stronger faster, but…

Gotou: I’ll put down a guess as ten or less. Let’s move on to someone who has a sharper memory for numbers. One of our longer-lived guests at Mt. Fujikasane for 47 years, the Hand Demon. While most of the demons on the mountain had only eaten two or three humans, you’ve eaten a whole 50 of the children who headed into the Final Selection, didn’t you?

Hand: Yes, that’s right. It was hard at first since I wasn’t very strong, and the demons usually all went crazy there eating each other, just like that one brat who got away in Chapter 7 said. If you could manage to kill any of the kids, you had the other demons to fight off to even get a piece to yourself. That was enough to get me by, and stronger, little by little. Your body learns to make your meals last, and make the most of what you can get. I usually only had a bite of one child a year, can you imagine how horrible that was? Most demons who survive usually figure out some way to develop and survive better, and once my cells found something that worked for me, I kept doing it. I got really good at snatching away prey from other demons, and soon enough I was a bigger threat than any of them. None of them could, you might say, lay a hand on me.

Gotou: That’s an interesting point about self-development. A demon named Nezuko was spent two years doing that in her sleep.

Hand: She must have had a big meal before that!

Gotou: Well, anyway. It seems that in near starving conditions, your metabolism made the most of what you had, leading to the most efficient use of whatever food was available to you.

Hand: That’s right, I got really good at it. Wasn’t always pretty, but I made it work. I got to a point where I could go two years without eating and still keep my wits about me while the other demons were going mad. But I chose to eat. I liked to keep my appetite for specific children.

Gotou: That smile is not reassuring. Some humans taste better than others, I guess?

Hand: That’s for sure. This one kid tasted awful, like rust and man sweat! I still don’t have that disgusting taste out of my mouth! But he was one of my more satisfying meals, so I ate more of him.

Gotou: Then why would you… nevermind, I don’t like that smile, no further questions. While I had hoped to keep these interviews focused on quantities of humans consumed, it does seem personal taste is worth asking about. I had tried to invite a Swamp Demon from Chapter 11, but it kept arguing with itself and it felt like I’d be wasting my time. The one definite thing I learned was that this demon is picky, with a distinct preference for 16-year-old girls. Based on the number of trinkets he kept, it seems he had consumed at least seventeen of them, including several in one town. Sheesh, that’s sort of a rough mission to send a first-timer on. I’ve got a more cooperative guest here to discuss her tastes, a Snake Demon who, according to Chapter 188, has a special taste for baby flesh.

Snake: Thank you for having me here. It’s good to be appreciated again.

Gotou: Did you only eat babies?

Snake: Goodness, no. Babies are delicious, but they aren’t very nutritious. And their skulls certainly aren’t that big, the ones I lounged around with were from the people whom I killed and stole from. But you know the nice thing about baby skulls? They’re still soft. They take a long time to digest, but I can swallow them whole.

Gotou: Like… like a snake, then. Sorry, I’m a little ill hearing that. Let’s back up, were all those skulls the remains of adults you ate, then?

Snake: Meh, I ate some of them of better-looking ones, but most of them I only killed. I could usually kill a lot more at a time than I could bother eating, my killing record was fifty women all at once.

Gotou: And you didn’t find that wasteful?

Snake: Wasteful? Not at all. I wasn’t exactly in dire straits, I lived a more luxurious life than most demons do. That meant I could afford to wait for a truly delicious meal, like how you humans might leave something in a slow-cooker to enjoy the perfect combination of doneness and tenderness, plated in the most appetizing of ways.

Gotou: I guess demons and humans are similar in that regard.

Snake: I’m so glad you can relate! Then you understand the frustration of a meal you’ve be preparing for years opening up the slow-cooker and running away right when they were just about done.

Gotou: I have never had that experience.

Snake: I’ll get you, my pretty. And your little snake, too.

Gotou: I think we might have gotten a little off-topic here. It does seem digesting humans comes with some difficulty. I’d like to invite the Drum Demon in next. Your name is Kyougai, I hear?

Kyougai: !!

Gotou: Kyogai, right?

Kyougai: You’ve heard of me! You know my name!

Gotou: I happened to, yes.

Kyougai: What have you heard???

Gotou: That you were kicked out of the Lower Moons for being unable to consume enough humans.

Kyougai: Oh. ……..yeah, that’s me.

Gotou: I thought demons go berserk if they go a long time without consuming humans. Wouldn’t that make an inability to consume them problematic?

Kyougai: It wasn’t that I couldn’t eat them! Like I said in Chapter 24, I had to in order to sustain myself, just like any other demon. But, at some point, I couldn’t eat as much as I used to. That happens to humans too, doesn’t it? When you just can’t stomach anymore?

Gotou: You mean like when you’ve overeaten? In a human’s case that feeling may go away within a few hours.

Kyougai: Sort of like that, but you know, humans reach a time when nothing is appetizing or the thought of eating makes them feel sick, right? Isn’t that the human condition?

Gotou: …uh… maybe if they have a medical condition? Or anxiety? Do demons get anxiety? Or eating disorders?

Kyougai: I… I don’t know. I just wasn’t good enough.

Gotou: I think it’s plenty good if you stopped eating humans. Though to have developed Blood Techniques and been a Lower Moon in the first place, you must had eaten a great number of them.

Kyougai: You think I’m great?

Gotou: What?

Kyougai: No, sorry, I was getting ahead of myself. It’s true, I used to be able to eat as many as the other Lower Moons always consumed. Our stomachs were stronger, you might say. Demons got strong by eating humans, and then the more you did that the better you usually got at it, so the strong ones would eat more and more and keep getting stronger and stronger. At least, that’s how it usually worked. I’ve seen other demons below me reached that point too, where they feel the drive to eat, but then they have trouble digesting it for a long time, so they don’t wind up eating that many people.

Gotou: Then it would make sense to eat the most nutritionally dense parts first.

Kyougai: Or a Marechi.

Gotou: Yes, or a Marechi.

Kyougai: It was a great idea, wasn’t it?

Gotou: I cannot condone any consumption of humans as a good idea.

Kyougai: I knew it. I’m nothing. Go ahead, stomp all over everything I ever tried to accomplish.

Gotou: I think I’m going to move on to my next interviewee now. It looks like we’ve got… oh, would you look at this? Lower Moon One. Enmu, I believe.

Enmu: You can believe whatever you want. I’m happy to help.

Gotou: I don’t need any help, thanks. I’m curious, since you were one of the stronger demons out there, it seems you had a stronger capacity for consuming humans.

Enmu: I did, I was always careful and paced myself so the Demon Slayers wouldn’t notice me. I took my time. I liked to enjoy e-e-e-a-c-h one.

Gotou: Then you had tastes too? Like babies, or 16-year-old girls?

Enmu: I could season any human to my liking. They’re all very easy to prepare.

Gotou: I’m still trying to get quantitative data. Can you tell me at least a rough estimate of how many humans you consumed?

Enmu: I told this more precisely to that boy with the earrings back in Chapter 59, and I can tell you this too. At my best, I could had eaten over two-hundred people at once if I took my time.

Gotou: OH MY GAW----sorry, I dropped my pen. Two hundred, at once?

Enmu: Yes. If I had just. Had. A little. More. Time.

Gotou: Clearly there is a huge difference between what common demons are capable of and what the Twelve Moons are capable of.

Daki: Psh, those were all any random common people. That’s nothing to brag about.

Gotou: Excuse me, and you are?

Daki: Daki, Upper Moon Six. You want something really impressive, you talk to the Upper Moons.

Gotou: I’m sorry, I don’t see you on my list.

Daki: What! Your list is stupid. Look me in the eyes, I’m Upper Moon Six!

Gotou: Very well, then. What can you tell me about your diet, Miss Upper Moon Six?

Daki: That’s more like it. It’s true that digestion takes a while, and takes some effort. Even though we Upper Moons may have eaten hundreds of people in our lifetimes, it’s not as if we gorge ourselves. The clever ones among us save prey for later to eat when we feel ready for it.

Gotou: Food storage? How do you keep them fresh?

Daki: You leave them still alive, numbskull. Nobody wants to eat something cold, that’s gross.

Gotou: I see, so that’s why demons prefer to go after new kills instead of saving what they’ve already managed to kill. That also might explain why the demons on Mt. Fujikasane wouldn’t had eaten many humans, if they found long dead ones in edible.

Daki: You want to know the real secret to eating humans? You can eat what you find tastes good, sure. But to get stronger, you eat strong people. Like your Corp members, the ones besides chumps like you? Using all that Breath makes their muscles really lean and potent, it’s like they come offering themselves as protein bars for us.

Gotou: You make them sound like a fad diet…

Daki: The real secret is eating Pillars. Besides Marechi, they’re the strongest meals out there. Guess how many I’ve eaten?

Gotou: I don’t have the data to make an educated guess.

Daki: Then get educated! Look back at Chapter 88! I’ve eaten seven Pillars, and my brother has eaten fifteen!

Gotou: Your brother? Who is he, then, Upper Moon Five?

Daki: What? Ew. Gross. Gross! No way, ew!

Gotou: Hmm… eating Pillars, huh? Well, I can think of one Pillar who was…

Douma: Me too!

Gotou: Speak of the devil.

Douma: Actually, we Upper Moons can! And he's not Satan, that's not how this works. But I guess Muzan-sama’s curse doesn’t effect us now. Ask me anything you want!

Gotou: That Chapter 143 reference was such a rude entrance. I understand that Pillars are particularly nutritious—

Douma: Oh, please don’t misunderstand! I don’t even eat all the Pillars I’ve encountered. There was the one Flower Pillar who got away from me, but some of the boy pillars I just leave around. What’s really the key to consistent nutritional intake is women! It’s really unhealthy for a demon not to get enough women in their diet, that’s why even if you’re only looking for Marechi or Pillars, your metabolism is going to get thrown out of whack with sudden big meals. You grow a stronger metabolism with consistency, I believe!

Gotou: If I could stop you there, I had an image from Chapter 142 I preferred to focus on for this case study. I see you keep a wide collection of skulls, from victims whom I assume you ate.

Douma: Yes, they all stayed together inside me for eternity, but the room looked lonely without décor.

Gotou: It seems other demons usually go for nutritionally dense organs like hearts or livers, or easy to digest parts of the body, perhaps just blood sometimes. Eating the entire victim, bones and all, doesn’t seem to be the norm.

Douma: Bones are organs too, you know! That’s where blood is made, at its freshest. They do take more practice in learning to digest, and I had to find a way around not having to chew them, but the bone marrow is very, very good for you, so I make sure to consume it frequently. It may take more time and it causes some of my followers to panic more while they wait, though, that’s a bit of a downside. Oh, and I guess bones can make good storage for some sneaky poison. Even fingernails and hair follicles, who’d have thought?

Gotou: I don’t think hair would have much nutritional value in the first place. In all my years, I can never recall seeing a victim with their hair eaten.

Douma: Tsk, tsk! Clearly you haven’t done much metabolism research in advance. I was really impressed by how well Shinobu-chan understood how my digestion would work. Eating hair can do amazing things! Isn’t that right, Genya-kun?

Genya: ?????????

Gotou: Genya-kun!?

Genya: What am I doing here?

Gotou: I don’t think you’re supposed to be here. Isn’t there, you know, another side? The other direction?

Genya: What are you doing here? Did you die?

Gotou: I’m here doing research on demon metabolism and how they get stronger by consuming flesh.

Douma: What can you tell us about what up with having your friend feed you hair you found on the floor in Chapters 170-171, Genya-kun?

Genya: I’m not a demon!! Why the hell are you asking me?

Douma: ‘Hell’! Haha, good one!

Gotou: How do you even know about that? You were dead almost a full volume before that. And Genya’s different, he’s not a case study in how demons consuming humans works!

Douma: Are you certain?

Gotou: I hear the term get thrown around a lot that he’s ‘half-demon’, but—

Genya: I’m not a demon!!!

Gotou: --how would that even work? That would imply that one of his parents had to be a demon, and that—

Genya: What did you say about my mother!?!

Gotou: What? Nothing—

Genya: You say that to my face! You just trying saying something about my mother to my face! My mother never actually ate any flesh, you got that? She doesn’t deserve any of this!

Gotou: Genya, calm down, what—

Douma: I see we’re learning nothing about hair at all. Maybe Kokushibou-dono would provide better commentary on that?

Genya: Mom? Mo-o-o-o-m? Are you down here somewhere?

Gotou: And there he goes… wait, did you say Kokushibou? Upper Moon One? Oh no—he—he didn’t want me bothering him, he did not agree to another interview—

Douma: He-e-e-e-e-y, Kokushibou-dono! How did that work with Genya-kun eating your hair? Hair can be nutritious, right?

Kokushibou: You would gain… nothing… from consuming human hair… it’s not… flesh… you wasted your energy digesting it…

Douma: Aww, cutting it off them would had been sad, though.

Kokushibou: Demon hair… like demon weapons… is made… from our unique cells. It’s not dead… like human locks. Because that boy ate my live cells… it affected him…

Gotou: Yes, because he had a very, very unique metabolism, analyzed separately in this post. To be perfectly clear, Genya is completely human with cells that could temporarily transform, and he never consumed human flesh.

Kokushibou: He… vexes me…

Gotou: Um… while I’ve got you here, you’re one of the longest lived demons, clocking in at over three, maybe four centuries. Do you have any estimate of how many humans you’ve consumed?

Kokushibou: ……I see in… Chapter 100… that you are 23 years old?

Gotou: That is correct.

Kokushibou: Do you bother… remembering how many meals… you’ve had in a mere 23 years?

Gotou: I’m very sorry to have bothered you.

Douma: Kokushibou-dono’s ancient compared to the rest of us! But if I tried, I could probably recall. Let’s see. One, two, three, four…

Gotou: Is that? Your finger in your brain? Oh—ohhh—that is disgusting---I really don’t need to know numbers that badly, please stop. Is there maybe just some average you can give me for the Upper Moons instead? Like how many you’d eat in a month?

Douma: I wish I could, but a certain someone was an annoying outlier and didn’t like to eat so many humans. He made me worry all the time about his health.

Gotou: Really? Who might that be?

Douma: Hello-o-o-o-o-? Akaza-dono? Yoohoo! He spends all his time with his wife now and never answers when I call, it makes me so sad. Akaza-dono did eat humans, plenty of strong ones, but any time he wasn’t under orders from Muzan he liked to spend his time training instead of eating. Fanbook #1 says he did that way more than eating!

Gotou: Training? What sort of training?

Douma: Similar things to what your Corp members did, I imagine. Doing squats, throwing punches, things like that.

Gotou: Then demon muscles had similar function to human muscles, and could be strengthened through hard work? That’s surprising.

Douma: I know, right? I’ll let you in on a secret, I don’t think it was the physically repetition that did anything. I think it was his willpower getting honed and shaping his muscles.

Douma: I had to focus when I acquired new skills too, like breaking down poisons. A lot of sad, lowly demons, like that Hand Demon fellow? They focus as hard as they can in their desperation, or focus on some strong emotion or attachment or whatever, and they grow and develop because of it. Sometimes all their weak bodies can manage is an ugly mutation, but that’s proof enough of how much focus they had.

Gotou: That sheds a lot of light on Nezuko, actually.

Douma: Shed “light” on Nezuko-chan, hahaha! Sunlight! You humans are all so witty!

Gotou: Speaking of willpower, I’ve got one more interview I need to get to down here. Of all the demons I have records of, only Nezuko went her whole time as a demon without consuming any human flesh, although she did go through moments of berserk cravings for it. It’s possible that other demons were killed before they could consume anything, but typically they will consume flesh as soon as possible, which is why its common for their family and close relations to be among the first ones killed. Tomioka-san even mentioned in Chapter 1 that these close relations are especially nutritious.

Gotou: A demon about as old as Kokushibou, if not older, is a special case of her own. She was one of the only demons we know of to have escaped Kibutsuji’s curse and acted in dependently of him, including having created a demon of her own after two hundred years of trying. Most notably to our purposes, she trained herself to subsist on small amounts of blood, after having survived on corpses and wild animals for a time, according to the extensive Taisho Secrets at the end of Volume 21.

Tamayo: I explained this in more detail to Tanjirou-san in Chapter 15, but I went on to purchase blood from poor people, and extracted it in ways that wouldn’t be harmful to them. The one demon I created, Yushirou, could subsist on even less. I gained enough self-control that I could treat injured humans without feeling tempted into a berserk state.

Gotou: I was just talking to Douma about willpower making demons capable of accomplishing new physical developments. Was that how you were able to gain this state? I heard you even enjoy a cup of tea now and then.

Tamayo: Yes, I’ve taken a liking to it. I’d offer you some if not for this, you know, being hell. It’s nothing like the hell I went through when first resisting consuming humans, though. My demon body refused to take anything but fresh human flesh at first, but in the hardest moments, I always remembered a kind demon hunter who said he believed in me and my desire to defeat Kibutsuji Muzan. I believe Nezuko may have summoned her strength to resist the call of her demon cells in a similar way; she knew she had her brother there to rely on. Once she mastered something as remarkable as resisting the need for human flesh, it gave her the freedom to prioritize other developments.

Gotou: You spent centuries researching demon cells, especially how demons may break down and metabolize poisons.

Tamayo: I had not studied the metabolism of poisons until working with Shinobu-san. The medicine we concocted for Kibutsuji was only possible thanks to her work, and I couldn’t had worked with many of those wisteria-based substances on my own. I feel I was only there to fill in the gaps of her brilliant understanding.

Gotou: You’re very humble. I would pass along my thanks and compliments to Shinobu-sama too, but I’m pretty sure she’s not down here. On that note, did Genya-kun go back home?

Tamayo: He did after a nice reunion with his mother just now, it was very sweet. Shizu-san and I get along well, after all, we both carry similar guilt.

Gotou: Wait, was his mother a demon? That means Wind-sama’s mother was too? Wait?? What??

Tamayo: The worst hell I went through, or that any demon has gone through, is to realize what you’ve eaten after the hunger-driven madness clears. Being similar to your own cells, they’re easy on a volatile new anatomy to break down and digest. That’s why many demons may have driven themselves to forget everything all over again, or to twist their personalities to justify the horror, saying that because they ate the hearts of their loved ones and because demon flesh can live forever, then they never truly killed them. The truth always remained untwisted for me, and to this day, it torments me more than anything in this underworld can try.

Gotou: …

Tamayo: You should wake up now, Gotou. You’ve been through a lot; the nightmares must be taxing on your health. Please remember to eat well.

[blueiscoool]

4th Century Roman Couple’s Funerary Mosaic Restored

A funerary mosaic dedicated to a Roman couple of late Antiquity is returning to its museum home in Porto Torres, Sardegna, after more than a year of restoration.

The mosaic was discovered in 1964 when road construction unearthed a complex of 11 Late Roman burials. Most of them were in rock-cut graves covered with terracotta roof tools arranged either flat or in the cappucina style, ie, tilted against each other to form a pitched roof. Eight of the burials were closely grouped together in a confined space, including the burials of two individuals whose matching pitched-roof tombs were adjacent to each other. A polychrome mosaic inscription identified the deceased as married couple Dionisio and Septimia Musa.

The osteological remains were in poor condition and had been disturbed over the centuries. There were no grave goods to aid in dating, but the cappucina style was very widespread in the popular in the Late Roman Imperial era. Funerary mosaics comparable in style to Dionisio and Septimia Musa’s, found most often in Northern Africa, and the language of the dedication narrow down the date of the tombs to the second half of the 4th century or to the early 5th.

The mosaic featured two inscriptions of cream tiles against a rectangular field of red tiles to give the impression of an engraved plaque. Septimia Musa’s inscription is above her husbands. It records that she lived 47 years. Dionisio’s inscription includes the dedication from their “loving children.” Hers is bordered in a 3D gemetric rectangle. His is bordered in guilloche shapes. A more intricately enlaced guilloche pattern covers the background behind the plaques. The outer borders feature a curling ribbon pattern.

The mosaic is rich in Christian iconography. Both plaques have triangular faux mounts on each side featuring the Christogram. Septimia Musa’s inscription has another Christogram in the RIP text at the end, as well as an olive branch. Olive branches are above and doves beneath the Christograms in the left and right triangles.

The mosaic was lifted, conserved and put on display at the Antiquarium Turritano Porto Torres, the local museum dedicated to the material culture of the colony of Roman Turris Libisonis and the surrounding territory. In the six decades since, the mosaic tiles have begun to suffer from adherence problems. It was removed from display in September 2020 and conservators worked to stabilize and clean it until March of this year.

The museum will be closed on Tuesday to ensure the transfer and reinstallation of the mosaics goes as smoothly as possible. The mosaic will have to be reassembled, positioned and fixed securely in its dedicated gallery at the Antiquarium Turritano before the museum reopens to the public on Wednesday.

[whatdoesshedotothem]

Thursday 11 [13] August 1840

6 ¼

9 ½

awaked last night between 1 and 2 cats at my cheese and children squalling enough to distract the old gentleman himself A- awoke me before 6 anxious to be off – she ordered the horses – she out of sorts – terrible – did a good job so many women and people knew not whom to give to – gave nothing – the cottages so hid amid the trees and vines and 8ft. high maize hardly visible except when close upon them – off at 6 50/.. – the children especially and the men and women look pale and yellow and unealthy in this moist hot bottom – at 7 35/.. Engour [Enguri] fine river nearish (left) ascend highish (left bank) above it and go upwards along its broad bouldery bedded island streamy course – for over thro’ lanes of alder and hazel every now and then in our eyes – bits of deep mud every now and then at 8 ¼ at the village (large) of Dvjari i.e. orchards vine-covered trees alders pyrus diospyrus [diospyros] etc. (the woods chiefly beech and next in quantity oak) – at 8 20/.. close upon the Engour [Enguri] – then ascend again on higher ground always in the village of Dvjari  no houses to be seen – all hid – fine river running downwards amid lower green wooded rounded beautiful hills, and upwards amid higher such hills – beautiful valley at 8 55/.. at the large beautiful squares green of the village in the style of Zugdidi – with several picturesque goodish galleried sacles scattered around – alight at one of them (empty)) at 9 to breakfast – the white Krepost castle on wooded ridge of hill almost hid among the wood close over the river (left bank) – wrote so far till now 11 10/.. and R very nearly 21° - breakfast from 11 ¼ to 12 50/.. including a tolerably comfortable wash inside the sacle – off at 1 ¾ - at 2 50/.. out of our narrow lanes thro’ tall brackens in the bottom and I passed thro’ wood (beech and Spanish Chesnut and alder and walnut) and steepish, not good ascent and then fine view over rich extensive wooded plain and the old town of prince Āppăkīdzi at the village of Satchīnă close (left) – stop 5 minutes under enormous lime tree for the men to get water – off again from Satchina at 2 35/.. steepish bad descent down wood again from here – then up the hill and down and forded little stream and 2 or 3 more cottages at 3 ½ still the village of Satchina – and Indian corn 9 or 10ft. high – a village (Sapêlĭ) is a little district – at 3 35/.. ford good broadish stream, the Irīseērăh – and at 3 42/.. ford the Isleēăh an equally good stream – beautiful little green comby valleys among the rounded wooded hills, and here and there houses and fields on the lower hills – at 3 47/.. ford the isleēăh again – several more scattered cottages still the same village of Satchīnă old castle of Djĕgăli (princes Mantchar Dadiar) he lives at some other village castle deserted and empty? beautiful groups of valleys and rounded hills – Mingrelia very beautiful and fine race of men – e.g. our David and saw others whom we have seen – all our 3 men have left us to seek somebody or something – Adam came back in ½ hour – A- had had an egg beaten up, and I had the things off my horse and done up my mackintosh – David does not know the road – Get a man to go with us to the village – he now says it is 6 (instead of 3) hours from here to and 6 days from here to Muri – terrible – an hour lost here – off to the village Djkali at 6 5/.. and arrived at 6 ¾ - 2 sacles – arrange ourselves in the Indian corn barn (a little wicker place perhaps 4 ½ x 3 yards) – spread our burcas on straw and now

8 25/.. I have just [written] in it the last 19 lines – high hills north and within ridges of wooded hill rising every now and then into little wooded conical summits – the sides of the hill furrowed and little conical summits on the ridges of the sides – tea etc. now at 8 25/..  – 1 crooglee – lay down at 9 ½

[dailyunsolvedmysteries]

McStay family murders

In 2010, Joseph McStay (age 40) and his wife Summer (age 43) lived in Fallbrook, California, with their sons Gianni (age 4) and Joseph Jr. (age 3).

On February 4, 2010, at 7:47 pm, a neighbor's surveillance system captured the bottom eighteen inches of a vehicle, thought at the time to be the McStay family's 1996 Isuzu Trooper. In the surveillance recording, the vehicle's occupants could not be seen. At 8:28 pm, a call was placed from Joseph's cell phone to his business associate, Charles "Chase" Merritt, which went to voicemail. Merritt later told police that he ignored the voicemail because he was watching a movie. Joseph's cellphone pinged a tower in Fallbrook. 

Over the next several days, relatives of the McStays unsuccessfully tried to contact the family. On February 13, Joseph's brother Michael travelled to the McStay residence and, upon finding an open window in back, climbed in and gained entry to the home. Michael did not find any of the family at home, and their two dogs were in the backyard. On February 15, Michael phoned the San Diego County Sheriff's Department (SDSD) and reported that his brother and his family was missing. Officers arrived at the home and requested a search warrant, executed on February 19, 2010. Although a search of the house found no evidence of struggle or foul play, there were indications of a hasty departure: a carton of eggs had been left on the counter and two child-size bowls of popcorn sat on a sofa. 

During their investigation, the police learned that around 11:00 pm on February 8, the family's Trooper had been towed from a strip mall parking lot in San Ysidro, San Diego, near the Mexican border. It was believed to have been parked there between 5:30 and 7:00 that evening. The car's location from February 4 to February 8 remains unknown.

On November 11, 2013, a motorcyclist found four sets of human remains buried in two shallow graves in the desert near Victorville, California. Patrick McStay, Joseph's father, was informed of the discovery and phoned missing person advocate Jerrie Dean to tell her what he knew. Dean stated in her blog she had just finished producing a radio show for San Diego station KNSJ when she received the call, and that she asked whether she could tell her followers what he had told her. Two days later, two sets of remains were officially identified as those of Joseph and Summer McStay. The deaths were ruled a homicide and San Bernardino County authorities said they believed the family died of blunt force trauma inside their home, but declined to discuss specifics of the deaths or a motive.

After their disappearance it was speculated that the McStays left voluntarily, since investigators found searches on the family's computers for, "What documents do children need for traveling to Mexico?" and Spanish language lessons. Because their car was found so close to the Mexican border, police reviewed surveillance footage of the pedestrian gate into Mexico. Video recorded the evening of February 8, released on March 5, showed a family of four resembling the McStays crossing the border. On February 19, California police notified Interpol to be on the lookout for the family. In April 2013, the San Diego Sheriff's Department announced that they believed that the McStays traveled to Mexico voluntarily.

In 2013, Merritt acknowledged he had spent more than an hour with Joseph the day the McStay family went missing. Merritt, who reportedly was the last person Joseph called from his cell phone, also said that he had passed a polygraph test and did not know anything that could help solve the mystery of the family's disappearance.  When asked if he thought Merritt was a suspect, Joseph's father Patrick said, "I have to have faith in Chase because I have to have faith in my son. I believe that [Joseph] trusted Chase and believed in Chase. Do I think Chase is involved? I don't think so, and I truly hope not." 

In January 2014, Merritt said that he might write a book about the family, alleging that Summer had anger issues and that Joseph had been ill for some time with a mysterious ailment. Joseph's family confirmed that he had an unexplained illness and that Summer was possessive of her husband, but they called Merritt's suggestion that she was responsible for his illness unfounded. Patrick said, "I truly believe she loved my son." 

On November 5, 2014, detectives from the San Bernardino County Sheriff's Department arrested Merritt in connection with the deaths of the McStay family after discovering that his DNA had been recovered from their car. His arrest was announced on November 7, 2014. Merritt was charged with four counts of murder, and the district attorney sought the death penalty. In July 2015, Merritt's defense attorney filed a request to have the case dismissed because of the wording used by the prosecution when the charges were filed. According to arrest warrant affidavits filed in the case, autopsies concluded that all four victims had been beaten to death with a blunt object, and investigators believed the murder weapon was a 3-pound sledgehammer which was found in the grave containing the remains of Summer and her son. Investigators testified they believed the victims were tortured before they were killed. Prosecutors allege that Merritt had a gambling problem, and killed the McStay family for financial gain. They said that he wrote checks totaling more than $21,000 on Joseph's business account in the days after the family was killed, and then went on a gambling spree at nearby casinos, where he lost thousands of dollars. Merritt's trial was delayed as he had repeatedly fired his attorneys or attempted to represent himself. As of February 2016, he had gone through five attorneys.

In January 2018, a trial-setting conference was scheduled for February 23. Merritt's attorney filed a motion in San Bernardino Superior Court on April 7, 2018, arguing that Joseph's business and accounting records were hearsay evidence and therefore inadmissible. On May 4, the case was scheduled to go to trial in July 2018. The trial finally began on January 7, 2019, in a San Bernardino court, with both sides making opening statements. On June 10, 2019, a San Bernardino County jury found Merritt guilty of murdering the McStay family. On June 24, the jury recommended that Merritt be sentenced to death.  The court upheld the jury's recommendation, and Merritt was sentenced to death on January 21, 2020.

[misfits1a]

START THIS AGAIN • I. luke patterson x reader

angst, fluff

posted. 01 march 2021

notes. for dani, my luke simp😌 i love yooouu thanks for all of your help!!

this will probably most definitely be the shortest part of this series. it's also just like,, an introductory chapter rip

banner inspired by & template from @cafekitsune​

cw. language; mentions of death / vehicular homicide; unedited

wc. 1.1k

next

1995

you take a shaky breath, dragging the wet washcloth under your eyes. you look a mess and the funeral hasn’t even started yet. you’re not even at the service yet.

three lives gone too soon�� reggie, your best friend; alex, who was like a brother to you; and luke, the love of your life—all because of some stupid, bad street dogs.

with unsteady hands, you apply a new coat of mascara to your lashes. you step back, checking yourself out in the mirror hanging on your wall. you wear a loose-fitting, short-sleeve black shirt tucked into a pair of black pants, and black wedge boots.

you twirl the silver band that you’ve worn on your left pointer finger for some time now. you and luke got matching bands last year, on your two year anniversary. engraved on the inside of your band was the word “faithfully.” luke’s engraving had been “forever yours.”

you glance at the clock. it reads 11:47. your eyes widen; the services start at noon.

“shit!” you run into the kitchen, snatching your keys from the bowl on the island, and then grab your bag, slinging it over your shoulder.

outside, it’s sunny and warm and the sky is blue. quite a contrast to how how you’re feeling internally. there is a light breeze.

you lock up the house and, eyes downcast, start across the street to your car.

it all happens so fast after that.

you hear the car honk at you, and you look up and into the panicky wide eyes of the man in the driver’s seat. then you’re being flung over the hood and all you see for a moment is a blur of royal blue.

the car comes to a screeching halt about halfway down the street. the driver jumps out of the car; his figure, quite blurry but definitely there, is running toward you.

everything hurts.

“ma’am?” the driver of the car kneels down next to you and his hand falls on your shoulder. he shakes you roughly. “ma’am? oh god! oh god!”

then it all goes black.

. . .

2020

you look towards the front door of your parents’ home as it swings open. your four year old niece, an enthusiastic little human with her cheshut hair thrown up into two space buns and wide brown eyes, runs into the house.

“grandma!” she calls out to your mom, who’s in the living room watching investigation discovery. your mom had discovered the channel about four-ish years ago and has watched it every day since.

“manon!” your mom pauses the television and stands to greet her firstborn grandchild. she has another granddaughter, eight month old avalon, and a grandson, two year old stuart— your brother’s children.

your sister elise, manon’s mother, walks into the living room. she gives your mom a one-armed hug before plopping herself down on the couch.

“where’s dad?” elise asks, looking around the room.

“he went out for groceries,” your mom answers. “should be back soon though.”

“grandma, can we watch pokemon?”

“of course!” your mother switches the channel to your niece’s favorite show. manon takes a seat on the carpet, crossing her legs. her focus is now completely on the show. she starts singing quietly along to the theme song.

elise notices your mom gazing at manon with an almost sort of wonder in her eyes. she nudges y/m/n.

“it’s just so weird and sweet and hard,” your mom says. she takes a deep breath, covering her mouth with her hands. “she’s so much like y/n.”

elise frowns. you know she’s not upset that your mom is bringing up these similarities; she’s upset because she never really got the chance to get to know you, didn’t see these similarities her daughter supposedly shares with her long gone auntie.

her and aden were two when you’d died in that accident. you had almost three years of memories with them and they virtually had nothing.

you huff.

it’s starting to get depressing being here now. you walk over to where manon is and lean down to press a kiss to the crown of her head. even though they can’t see you, you wave goodbye to your mom and elise before poofing out.

you end up at webster park. eyes downcast, you shove your hands into the pockets of your navy hoodie (well, technically it was luke’s; you’d stolen it from him a few months into your relationship, before he had the chance to rip off the sleeves) and start walking.

for a while after your death, you had been nervous to walk around while looking at the ground or your feet or at anything that wasn’t directly in front of you. then you realized how sort of ridiculous that was— you were a ghost and could just go right through people. cars too.

though dying actually hadn’t been so horrible. everything hurt for a moment, then the pain was gone.

it was what came after that hurt you the most.

your mom and dad had basically lost four children within a week of each other— the boys of sunset curve (alex and reggie, who they’d practically considered sons the day you’d first brought them over; and luke, who they always expected to eventually become their son-in-law), and then you.

it was watching them trying to grieve for you four while also taking care of aden and elise. it was knowing you would never be hugged again by those sweet, quiet, tiny humans. it was the not being able to physically be there with your family when your mom’s father passed away. it was watching emily and mitch bake cake on luke’s birthday and not being there with them either. it was when your siblings graduated high school and went off to college. it was when aden got married. it was when elise told the family she was pregnant and it was realizing you’d never be able to hold and spoil your nieces and nephews. it was those moments that hurt the most.

you’re swiftly knocked on your bottom when a blur of black and brown and white collides with you, and you think something has rolled over your foot.

“ouf!”

“willie, i told you, you need to pay more attention! i knew this would happen again.”

part of you just wants to continue to lay there and look up at the clouds floating by, attempt to forget everything.

then a face you instantly recognize, that has your heart skipping a beat, is suddenly looming over you, his blonde hair falling in front of his face, his hazel eyes widening as he registers who his friend, willie, just ran in to.

“alex!” you jump up, wrapping your arms around him. he stumbles back at the action before he gathers his balance and reciprocates the hug.

“wait,” he softly pushes you away, does a once over of you. he notices how young you still look and his throat tightens and his heartbeat quickens. “why the fuck are you dead?”

© 2021 misfits1a. all rights reserved. do not repost, translate or claim my work as yours; please credit if you want to repost my work in a fic rec

taglists. @biqherosix​ @anything-and-everything-20 @allthatgl1tters-1sgold​

[jess-rewatches-prodigalson]

Take Your Father to Work Day (S2, E4)

As many people have said: This is one of the STRONGEST Prodigal Son episodes to date. It was incredible. My time-stamped thoughts for this episode are below. 

I reference Malcolm’s mental health and sexual violence in this one. So if that’s going to be a trigger for you, don’t keep reading.

SPOILERS AHEAD:

0:16 - OMG. Destiny’s Child. Whoever is in charge of the soundtrack for this show needs a raise. Or an award. It’s SOO GOOD.

0:18 - How great is this montage of Martin’s prison life too? I mean the insane mundanity of it combined with “Survivor” and Michael Sheen’s incredible acting is some perfect mix between hilarious, captivating, and just brilliant. 

1:06 - I feel so bad for Mr.David. He has to deal with Martin’s theatrics every day. Poor guy looks done in this episode.

1:35 - CAN HECTOR BECOME A BIGGER CHARACTER?! PLEASE. He’s hilarious and I love him. “Bro. You got your ass jumped at Sunday School.”

2:09 - Wait. What? Jerry’s getting released?!? I mean, I understand that he’s no longer in need of psychiatric care......but he still killed someone. Shouldn’t he just be getting transferred to a different prison?

2:25 - Does Jerry have a death wish?!?! He’s talking about being released in a room full of jealous murderers. Everyone looks sooooo pissed at Jerry. 

2:54 - Martin is such a liar. However - Michael Sheen’s performance is astoundingly good. Like he shines brighter than usual in this episode. 

 3:17 - Poor Malcolm. “What’s going on?” Poor boy looks terrified. 

3:23 - I love everything about this scene. I love how freaked out Malcolm is. I love you extra Jessica is. BUT HANS. Holy shit. I want Hans in every episode. He’s crazy in a good way and such a beautiful comedic relief. 

3:30 - OMG.  “Skinny milennial” might be the best thing anyone has ever called Malcolm. Someone please tell JT and Dani - hell, even Gil. They would tease him forever and I want to see it. 

3:45 - 1) Malcolm is a terrible liar. 2) Jessica knows he’s lying. 3) This story about the wine is interesting. I wonder when and how Malcolm first told Jessica the story. Was it the same night? AND HOW DID ENDICOTT’S BODY END UP IN ESTONIA?!? I WANT MORE INFORMATION ABOUT THAT NIGHT. 

3:54 - “Ainsley and I came back from the hospital after Gil’s stabbing.”....we never saw Ainsley at the hospital. Was she there and left before Malcolm got there? Or is this a plot hole I need to ignore?

4:05 - The way that the flashbacks of Endicott’s murder is spliced into this scene with Malcolm’s cover story is so perfectly executed. It’s so captivating and so so well done.

4:14 - Malcolm’s eyes look quite manic during the retelling of this story. Poor guy is desperate to have everyone believe the story. Poor guy probably wants to convince himself that the story is true. 

4:16 - Wait. What? Ainsley has always been clumsy? .....interesting. I’ve seen no evidence of it but I’ll believe it for the sake of the plot. 

4:23 - “At least one of you has a soul.” Holy shit.  hahaha Hans is brutal. I love him so much. I also love how this line makes me, as a viewer, think “does that mean the writers want me to think that Ainsley doesn’t have a soul?” ...or more likely that she doesn’t feel emotion (which can be interpreted as a lack of a soul). That she’s a psychopath like Martin?

4:27 - OMG. Jessica loves Hans. He speaks to her dramatic rich woman soul. So entertaining. 

4:30 - Poor. Malcolm. This boy is always in some sort of emotional turmoil. For once I wish he was happy (but also I love the emotional whump so if that could continue that would be great). 

4:44 - “It’s so much more than that.” *chef’s kiss* comedic genius.  I would watch a whole episode of Mr.David making fun of Martin. But can we all just take a minute to appreciate that Martin doesn’t seem bothered at all that Mr.David is basically verbally telling him that he sucks? It’s almost like Martin thinks they’re friends?

4:50 - Martin is strangely chill talking to Mr.David in this scene. It’s a little off-putting. He almost seems normal. He’s not putting on his usual theatrics or ranting about doctor stuff. It makes you wonder how many different sides of Martin that Mr.David has witnessed. 

5:01 - “Oh no. Not Jerry.” LMAO. HOLY SHIT. Michael Sheen needs an Emmy. His delivery of that line might be the funniest thing this show has ever given us. hahahahaha

5:29 - Damn. This is not Gil’s month. First Jessica dumps him. Then he has to deal with Martin Whitly in the flesh. That plus the on-going drama of worrying about Malcolm’s mental health and the stress of reintegrating into work after a STAB WOUND.

5:31 - Gil’s face. hahahahaha he’s like, “Kill me. This can’t be happening. I hate everything. I wish the ground would open up and swallow me whole.”

5:37 - “Yeah. Why’d you do it?” GIL. OMG. I’m so proud of Gil for dissing Martin to his face. BUT ALSO I worry that that’s going to give Martin more of a reason to hate Gil. I’m genuinely scared that the writers have Martin escaping as the pre-finale episode and Martin trying to kill Gil as the finale. Maybe Gil shows up trying to save Malcolm, AInsley, and Jessica (whom Martin is trying to abduct or hurt or something) idk I just feel like it’s going to be a likely subplot somewhere. I don’t want an attempt on Gil’s life to become a season finale tradition. 

5:56 - Ew. “Gilly” That is a terrible nickname. I think I threw up a little. 

6:00 - Damn. I love this scene. I could watch Martin and Gil pretending to be civil to each other for years. So entertaining. 

6:29 - hahahahaha OMG. Gil’s reaction to Martin saying, “Thank you” PLUS Edrisa’s sudden excitement at realizing she’s 10 ft away from Malcolm’s Dad - a medical legend, is magical.

6:35 - Not gonna lie. When Edrisa said, “Ok. I’m gonna play it cool.” I had to pause my TV and walk away to calm down. I was experiencing a mixture of second hand embarrassment for Edrisa’s inevitable behaviour, excitement for what is to come, and fear that Martin would be a jerk to our precious Edrisa. 

6:44 - Edrisa and Martin interacting was everything I’d hoped. It was strange, funny, sweet, and disturbing at the same time. The sweet, eccentric girl who attends cuddle parties is getting buddy-buddy with a literal serial killer. Hilarious. Even better is Gil’s background reactions as he desperately tries to keep Edrisa away from the psychopath. hahaha <3 

7:12 - Gil is currently living in a nightmare. hahahahaha 

7:47 - I love this. I love how Malcolm and Ainsley interact. Malcolm is such a good big brother. IDK something about these two adult siblings chilling on a couch and warning each other about Mom’s current rampage reminds me of myself and my younger brother. <3 Warms my cold dead heart. <3 PLUS has anyone else noticed that (as long as Ainsley isn’t hounding Malcolm about a story or airing out his mental health diagnoses like the bs from Q&A) Malcolm is extremely calm around Ainsley. Like maybe the calmest we’ve ever seen him?

8:20 - “Oh Ainsley, that’s a horrible idea.” This is adorable. Malcolm is totally acting like Ainsley’s surrogate dad. He’s trying so hard to protect her. <3 

8:42 - There’s something about the way that Malcolm says, “Hey Gil” that makes my heart swell. Idk why. I just their father/son relationship. So much. And it makes me so happy to see Malcolm having semi-normal interactions with people in general. 

8:48 - This. Is. The. Funniest. Episode. Of. Prodigal. Son. To. Date. Holy shit. The comical dread on Malcolm’s face. Martin’s glee on the phone. Gil’s general “done with life” body language. Ainsley’s utter joy at her luck. MALCOLM DRAINING THE ALKA-SELTZER. Ainsley saying “chug chug”. So perfect. 

9:27 - Is it just me or has Jessica been showing way more concern for her children’s well-being this season? At first I thought it was because she was so happy with Gil....but that’s not a thing anymore (because Jessica is a MORON - seriously if this show gets cancelled before Gil and Jessica are living happily ever after I will riot) so now Idk. 

10:02 - EDRISA WHY DID YOU NOT TELL GIL AND MALCOLM THAT THE SURGEON WAS ON THE PHONE?!? For a hot second, poor Malcolm looks like he thinks he’s hallucinating. 

10:40 - Gil hanging up on Martin and then telling Edrisa that she needs to make new friends is everything. It’s vicious. Gil looks absolutely furious in this scene and I love it. 

11:07 - Yo. Edrisa’s got some baggage. hahaha Malcolm looks soooo uncomfortable with her outburst.

11:18 - I would pay good money to watch Martin and Gil have a pissing match in front of Malcolm every episode. It’s amazing. They’re constantly trying to one-up each other. The tension is palatable. And someone Malcolm is the only one acting like a mature, working adult. Malcolm. My mentally unstable, skinny millennial. 

11:34 - OH SHIT. Martin did not just bring Jessica into this. Oh SNAP. Does Martin know that Jessica dumped Gil?!? 

11:56 - “I’m going to need a little more than that.” Damn. Malcolm looks pissed here. Pretty sure he hates that Martin just brought up Gil/Jessica. Malcolm’s bio-dad and real dad are fighting and it’s very clear that Malcolm is on Gil’s side.

12:17 - The look that Gil and Malcolm share here is perfect. I love it so much. You can see how annoyed they both are, how much they hate that they need Martin on this case, how much neither of them want Martin’s help. <3 

12:23 - SOMEONE GIVE GIL A MEDAL. This man just grit his teeth, smiled, and let MARTIN WHITLY - the man who tried to KILL HIM work on his case. Why? Because Malcolm silently asked him to. Because Gil loves Malcolm and knows that it’s better for Martin to work with them officially than for Malcolm to work with Martin in secret. At least this way he can look out for Malcolm. 

12:42 - “It’s taken Dr. Marsh years...” soooo was Dr. Marsh the name of the Asian doctor leading group therapy last season? Is this just a new actor, same character scenario? OR am I supposed to forget that Asian doctor existed last season? 

13:04 - I can’t tell if Gil hates this whole “father-son in group therapy idea”. He looks kind of like he hates it (although he is looking at Martin in the shot). I’m inclined to think that Gil is worried. He doesn’t like how nice Martin is acting toward Malcolm. He doesn’t want Malcolm to get hurt again. BUT I also think there’s probably a part of Gil that thinks group therapy might be beneficial for Malcolm’s mental health? I mean it was only ever going to be terrible or amazing. Nothing in between. 

13:12 - “They hate you don’t they?” GIL BRINGING THE FIRE. hahahaha angry Gil is really funny.

13:43 - OH HELL YES. More Hector. <3

13:46 - hahaha YES. Hector this is Malcolm - the son. You know, the one you had to role-play? hahaha I feel like Hector is a really cool dude (aside from the murder). 

13:53 - Damn. Hector pays attention in group. He has a lot of info about Malcolm. I would’ve thought the other inmates would just tune Martin out when he starts his monologues. 

13:59 - “He’s got a thing with hands?” hahahaha OMG. How did I never connect the hand thing. DOES Malcolm have a thing with hands? ....I kind of want that to be cannon?

14:00 - “You’re crazier than me.”  Ouch. That must’ve hurt. Think about it - Malcolm is ridden with guilt about Endicott. He’s haunted by what he experienced as a kid and by what his father is. Malcolm believes he’s broken beyond repair. On some level Malcolm thinks he’s crazy. Now a literal killer just told him he’s crazy. That just affirms what Malcolm already believes about himself. :( PLUS right after Hector tells Malcolm that he’s crazy - the camera pans to Martin. MARTIN looks scared. Martin is losing control of the situation and he doesn’t like it. Martin knows on some level that he ruined Malcolm’s mental health. He almost looks a little guilty?

14:31 - FINALLY. We have a cannon occurrence of someone calling Malcolm “Mal” (or “Malc” if you’re going by HULU’s subtitles?). I hope the writers start having people call Malcolm by Mal/Malc more often. 

14:35 - I can’t ignore it anymore.  DID HECTOR HAVE THAT SCAR ON HIS FACE LAST SEASON?!? I DON’T REMEMBER IT. 

14:38 - YES YES. Malcolm looks angry. I LOVE IT. Scream at him Malcolm! Give him hell!

15:03 - Yikes. Malcolm sounds like he’s about to cry here. :( My heart breaks for him. .....I wonder if this is the first time Martin has ever heard how much pain he caused Malcolm straight from Malcolm? Martin looks hella uncomfortable here. 

15:25 - The inmates (literal murderers) empathizing with Malcolm is twisted, beautiful, and haunting. These guys understand how much it sucks to hang out with Martin. These guys can see the real pain in Malcolm’s expression. They know he isn’t lying. Part of me honestly wonders if one of them is going to try and hurt Martin for Malcolm. They looked pissed enough by the end of the conversation that I kind of believe they might. 

16:00 - Malcolm is not acting here. For once he’s not projecting his problems onto potential suspects. He’s just venting to suspects. No pretence. I love it. BUT 100% of me wants to know where Gil is during this session. Is Gil listening? Is the session being recorded for evidence? There’s no way Gil (or Dani) wouldn’t confront Malcolm about this. Even if they just asked him if he’s okay. 

16:10 - hahahaha look at Doctor Marsh. He’s like “ooookkkkkaaaayyyy. I’m a psychiatrist in a psychiatric facility for people who have committed violent crimes. BUT THIS IS THE NUTTIEST THING I’VE EVER SEEN.”

16:12 - Look at the way Martin narrows his eyes. He’s trying to figure out if Malcolm is acting. He’s finally realizing that Malcolm truly hates what Martin subjected him to as a child. I honestly think this interaction will cause Martin to shift his “become a murderer like me” agenda from Malcolm to Ainsley. He’s finally seen the depth of Malcolm’s hatred and pain and knows deep down that Malcolm will never turn into a serial killer. But there’s still hope for Ainsley. That’s not to say that Martin won’t stop gaslighting Malcolm - he totally will.

17:10 - Martin has been at Claremont for 20 YEARS. How is it that he didn’t know a gold card existed?!?

17:21 - I honestly thought Marsh was going to get shanked. For the gold card. No other reason. 

18:07 - It’s not supposed to be funny but Burt freaking out and punching Marsh is HYSTERICAL. hahahahaha

18:10 - That guard who pushed Malcolm out of the room and into a safe area? He’s in my good books. Every time I watch him push Malcolm to safety I want to give him a hug. Just for doing his job. What the hell is wrong with me?!?

18:18 - UGH. I hate that creepy, satisfied look that Martin gives Malcolm. It’s the same look he gave baby Malcolm in the pilot. It’s the “we’re the same” look and it clearly bothers Malcolm. :( 

18:26 - Oh look. 18 minutes into the episode and we finally have a Dani appearance!! annnnnnd no mention of JT. I mean, I get it. He’s on paternity leave. I’m happy for him. BUT TWO EPISODES WITHOUT A JT APPEARANCE IS TORTURE. At least give me a throw away line about how happy JT is or about the baby!?? Honestly - it’s my biggest gripe with this episode. 

18:56 - soooo either Dr. Marsh is a terrible psychiatrist OR you can’t “cure” murderers. 

19:08 - The NYPD knows that Martin cured Jerry?!? HOW? Did Mr. David get Martin to admit to shocking him? Did Mr. David tell the police?!? I don’t remember Martin telling Malcolm. I specifically remember Malcolm saying, “I don’t want to know”

20:02 - Damn. I want Ainsley to go dark so badly. I want to see how badly it would destroy Malcolm and Jessica. I am evil. 

20:52 - Malcolm’s burgundy jacket is gorgeous. That is all.

21:10 - Malcolm knows that Martin wants to escape. This is good. I love this. 

21:55 - THERE’S A WOMENS WARD?!? REVOLUTIONARY INFORMATION. I THOUGHT THEY HAD A SEPARATE HOSPITAL. 

22:00 - Oh wow. Finally - a perk to gender inequality. 

22:52 - This Brightwell scene is so cute. I love watching Malcolm be excited about solving the crime. I love watching Dani gently tease him about how weird he is. I love watching them subtly flirt. Is Malcolm ready for another relationship - hell no. Do I think Dani has forgiven him - not totally. If they got together now it would end badly. But I do want them to be endgame. 

23:11 - Andre is really suspicious throughout this whole scene. I’m convinced that if Dani and Malcolm weren’t too busy flirting Andre would’ve become a suspect really fast. 

23:15 - Why do people get released from psychiatric prisons?!? This is a genuine question. I would’ve thought that everyone in Claremont has committed some seriously heinous crimes and only a very small portion of them are actually sick. The rest of them just pleaded insanity and had good lawyers. But even if they are/were sick. I don’t think the types of mental illnesses that drive people to murder and/or rape is something that can be cured.  Sooo why are they getting released? I guess I just wonder because there’s this guy that’s been in my local news on and off for like 10+ years. He’s molested/raped many young women between the ages of about 16-25. He’s been arrested and released multiple times. He keeps getting released to different major cities in my province (usually a city with a big University) and reoffends within 6 months of being released. Most recently he was arrested last month after being released in October 2020. Clearly he’s going to keep reoffending - so why does he keep getting released? I guess I just don’t understand what the criteria are that allow an inmate who has committed that sort of crime to be released. Here’s a link to one of the more recent news stories if you’re interested: https://vancouverisland.ctvnews.ca/police-warn-of-high-risk-sex-offender-moving-to-victoria-1.5149264

23:23 - hahaha Andre is like, “Yo. This dude is freaky.”

24:15 - Look at how proud Malcolm is of his whole “lobster = murderer” profile. <3 So freaking precious. <3 and Dani looks so amused with him.  <3

24:37 - Sooooo Mr. David isn’t listening to this conversation? He left the room?

24:40 - Jessica going to Martin for parenting help is terrifying. This is a woman in crisis. 

25:20 - But Jessica was right to be paranoid in 97′. She wasn’t being cheated on romantically but her husband was murdering people. 

25:24 - Martin is so selling his kids out here. He knows it. He doesn’t care. He’s having too much fun torturing Jessica. He’s rejoicing at the fact that he gets to play the “I turned the kids to the dark side” card. 

26:40 - Poor Jessica. She looks suspicious and scared. Scared that she raised a killer even though she tried desperately to prevent that very behaviour. 

26:56 - Damn. Martin is having a really good day. First he gets to annoy Gil Arroyo in the flesh. Then Edrisa talks medical with him. Then he gets to work with Malcolm. THEN his ex-wife calls him and he gets to toy with her mind. THEN his daughter, who has literally murdered someone comes to visit him. He is a proud Dad right here and he’s having an amazing day. 

28:00 - Rhonda is terrifying. This girl has perfected the “I’m sweet and unthreatening” while lying and manipulating people. I swear she’s a teenage Queen B personality with a side of violence. 

28:30 - I love how protective Malcolm is of Ainsley. Look how positively livid he is that Marin is talking to her. Malcolm is terrified that Martin is going to purposefully and successfully turn Ainsley into a serial killer. Malcolm doesn’t want to lose his sister. He doesn’t want Jessica to lose her ‘stable’ child.

29:09 - This scares me. This is the kind of Ainsley behaviour from last season that made me believe she is the Whitly child most like Martin. Her ruthlessness and lack of a conscience when it comes to looking for a news story is extremely upsetting. 

30:11 - What the hell happened to Tevin? AND WATKINS?!? We got no closure on those guys. Are they dead? In prison? Is Tevin still in Claremont? Were they transferred to facilities outside of New York State?

30:28 - Malcolm yelling at Martin is perfect. *chef’s kiss* Finally this boy is being honest with his father and he isn’t holding back. 

30:40 - Michael Sheen is an incredible actor. This is an Emmy worthy scene. By Sheen AND Payne.

30:48 - I love how you can see Mr. David just chilling. Sitting outside the door and staring across the hall during this scene. It’s just....can’t he hear the screaming?!? Is he just like, “I can’t take anymore of this today. Not my circus and not my monkeys.”

30:55 - Soooooo this is Martin showing his true colours. There’s definitely a part of Martin that hates Malcolm. I honestly wonder if that part of Martin actively tries/tried to emotionally torture Malcolm now and throughout his childhood. 

31:00 - “And your mother. And you ruined HeR!!!”....does this mean Martin was trying to make Ainsley a serial killer? Maybe after the camping trip when he realized Malcolm was too “weak” to kill anyone? Is this Martin saying that Ainsley is ruined because she didn’t become a serial killer? Or that Ainsley is ruined because she killed Endicott?

31:05 - “But that’s not me.” hahaha OMG. Michael Sheen just flipped between two personalities like nobody’s business. Respect.

31:08 - Martin’s outburst hurt Malcolm. Badly. You can see it all over his face. Even now, when Malcolm is being strong and showing some backbone to Martin, Martin can wound Malcolm with a single phrase. :( 

31:41 - soooo where has Gil been for the past 10 minutes of this episode?

32:02 - Sooooo did Andre kill Jerry for Rhonda? Or did he just know about the murder and keep quiet for Rhonda? Or is his oblivious to the fact that Rhonda killed Jerry? I’m honestly confused here. 

32:20 - Holy shit. Rhonda is crazy. Andre is dead now. Right?

32:48 - Wait. Why did Andre have a gold card? Mr. David only has red. What kind of qualifications does a guard need to get a gold card vs blue, green, or red?!?!

32:55 - Claremont isn’t a punishment for Martin. Solitary is. Martin should live in solitary. He deserves to suffer for his crimes (and the ongoing torture of his son). 

33:05 - How messed up is it that Mr. David’s job is to protect a serial killer? I don’t think I’m brave enough to do something like that. I also don’t know if I could do that for moral reasons. 

33:14 - Damn. That elevator looks like it hasn’t been cleaned since it was installed. It’s sooo much nastier than the hallway outside of the elevator. 

33:50 - Sooo does this mean Martin is eventually going to try and murder someone down here?

33:54 - HE CALLED FOR BACKUP <3 <3 <3 OUR BOY IS GROWING UP AND I’M SO PROUD. <3 

35:40 - FINALLY SOME MALCOLM WHUMP. <3 THIS SEASON HAS BEEN LACKING IT. 

36:00 - This is really interesting to me. I honestly wonder if Martin has some sort of split personality disorder (personality #1: murderous, selfish, psychopath; personality #2: loving, concerned father and lawful doctor). You can see how desperately he wants to escape. But also how much he loves his son. I honestly thought he was going to leave Malcolm to die. 

36:06 - Ugh. Look at his whumped face. <3 <3 <3 ....one thing that I couldn’t stop thinking during all the tazing (which was amazing FYI, I’m not complaining) is this: in QxA (1x07) Mr. David says that he only has a single shot tazer. Why did Andre have a multi-shot tazer? Is this a gold card vs red card thing?

36:40 - WHY THE EFF DOES BACKUP NOT INCLUDE GIL?!?! I KNOW HE’S STILL IN THE BUILDING. 

37:03 - MARTIN, IF YOU TOUCH A HAIR ON DANI’S HEAD I WILL PERSONALLY HUNT YOU DOWN AND KILL YOU MYSELF. He honestly looks like he wants to murder her. 

37:50 - Martin’s speech is not going to help Malcolm’s mental state. At all. 

38:31 - No. No. No. Martin you do NOT get to talk to Dani on a first name basis. Look at how much Dani hates it. 

38:35 - I love how soft Malcolm looks as Martin lifts him up. Look at how Malcolm gently leans into the touch. It breaks my heart. After 20 years Malcolm is still comforted by physical contact with his father. :( 

38:37 - “Put your hands on me again Dr. Whitly, and I’ll blow your head off.” OH HELL YES. Dani is my hero. Iconic. Also - anyone else notice that Dani is chewing gum in this scene (I don’t think she’s chewed gum on camera since the pilot?) it makes her look like so much more of a badass in this scene. 

38:55 - Oh look. The rest of the backup finally showed up. Where were these assholes 5 minutes ago when DANI WAS ALONE? AND WHERE IS GIL?!?!

39:00 - Malcolm thanking Dani is so so precious. And the fact that he’s clearly struggling to breathe and stay conscious is giving me life. ALSO Dani saying, “YOU’re welcome.”?!? *chef’s kiss* :) :) <3

39:30 - So Malcolm definitely knows that Martin almost left him to die so that Martin could escape. 

39:33 - ......Ainsley is currently living with Jessica. Why is Ainsley not at the family dinner? We literally see her in the house in like 30 seconds. 

39:35 - Malcolm in a polo shirt. Malcolm in a polo shirt. Why is it so attractive?!? He looks like a baby cinnamon roll? <3 

39:51 - WHO THE EFF LET AINSLEY INTO THE MURDER BASEMENT?!? WHY AM I EXPECTED TO BELIEVE THAT JESSICA DIDN’T RE-SEAL IT AFTER WATKINS?!?!

40:15 - Jessica desperately tearing apart the living room is heartbreaking. :(

40:29 - Question: Did Jessica send her staff home before she tore apart the living room? Because I can just imagine two of them staring into the living room from the hall like, “She’s finally snapped. Should we call someone?”

41:00 - Jessica is the queen of drama. HOLY SHIT. This reveal was so extra and so perfect. 

41:13 - “I killed him.” “You’re lying.” I love this interaction between Jessica and Malcolm. Malcolm has spent his whole life trying to convince people that he’s not a murderer. To protect Ainsley, his baby sister, he will say the words “I killed him”. Even though that is literally killing a part of Malcolm. Jessica knows it. I love that Jessica can see that Malcolm is lying. She’s not trying to convince herself that he’s innocent. She literally just accused him of murder. She’s scared. Because Malcolm just admitted to killing someone - his biggest fear - and it was a lie. 

41:35 - Watching Bellamy Young’s facial expression as Jessica realizes that Ainsley killed Endicott is a thing of beauty. This woman needs an Emmy too. HELL, CAN WE GIVE THIS WHOLE EPISODE AN EMMY?!?! 

42:00 - Poor Jessica. The guilt she must feel. She’s always thought that Malcolm was the one at risk of being a murderer. He’s a boy (they’re statistically more prone to violence than girls), he was older than Ainsley, he remembers terrible things, Malcolm had continued exposure to Martin throughout his childhood (Ainsley didn’t - I think?). But the child she neglected, the child she thought was safe, the child she thought remained free of Martin’s evil killed someone. It’s a plot-twist that just ripped Jessica’s heart into a million pieces. 

42:30 - Yep. I promise you Malcolm has been psychoanalyzing Ainsley’s past behaviours since the moment she killed Endicott. He’s found traits common to serial killers and he’s terrified that she’ll become one if she remembers what it felt like to kill Endicott. He’s probably kicking himself for not noticing sooner. He’s probably questioning his ability as a profiler and as a big brother. AND the fact that MALCOLM has to protect Jessica AND Ainsley is heartbreaking. It’s way too big a burden. No wonder Malcolm’s mental health is on a downward spiral. 

42:33 - This is the moment Jessica begins grieving for Ainsley. The fear, disbelief, and horror on her face. It’s torture that I can only describe as someone telling a mother that her daughter is dead. Because Ainsley is dead. The person Jessica believed Ainsley was - that little girl is dead. Because Jess just found out the truth. 

42:55 - Jessica is now terrified of her own daughter. That is maybe the most upsetting thing this show has given us. 

43:00 - I saw an interesting theory about how Ainsley is regressing back to her childhood (crawling into bed with Mom, moving back in with Mom) and I must say - that would be a really interesting way for this story to go. Ainsley regressing to a child-like state as she is convicted of murder. As a result she ends up in the women’s ward of Claremont because she can plead insanity. 

This episode was amazing. Seriously, one of the best Prodigal Son episodes to date. Definitely the best of season 2 so far. If you’ve read this far - thanks for hanging out. 

[michaeljopetro]

The Two Witnesses Reveal the Glory Pt. 3

I was just coming back from the Reawakening conference in Virginia with Pastor Rudy and the team, and I learned that the Georgia Guidestones were destroyed. If you haven’t heard of the Georgia Guidestones, they were monolith stones that were put on a hill in Georgia, and no one really knows how they got there or who even put them there. 

On these stones were written the Satanic 10 commandments. One of those commandments is that the population should come down to 500,000,000. They are talking about eugenics, depopulation, which is the plan for the New World Order. They say this will happen by 2028. Why did they want to get the population down? Simply because it is easier to control people with a smaller population. 

I was interviewing a sister by the name of Sheila Holm, who has done extensive research on the Georgia Guidestones, and she explained how those stones got there. Donald Trump has actually read her books. We just hit it off when we spoke - I usually will interview someone for about 30 minutes, but we went on for an hour. 

This monument was put on a specific spot of the east coast of the United States, with a spiritual strategy of targeting the “East Gate.” They are putting a marker for opening a gate for Satan. In Israel, the Muslims had put a cemetery on the East Gate because they know that the Word says that the Messiah will come through the East Gate. They really think that a graveyard is going to stop the King of Glory. We are the temple that the Lord is going to enter through. 

At the conference, I had the opportunity to listen to a virologist who spoke about Satanists in the government. She even spoke about Hillary Clinton, who promoted a book to her followers titled “Rules for Radicals.” In that book, the author dedicated it to Lucifer, the “ultimate radical.” That book is about how to destroy a society and the tactics in this book are also used by George Soros. 

So, every Christian who voted for Hillary Clinton was voting for Satan. There is no way you can vote Democrat and actually be a Christian. Every one of us is held accountable for our choice in casting a vote, and there won’t be any excuses. The social programs the Democrats push are irrelevant. Let’s remember that Jesus rebuked the Pharisees who were decorating the tombs of the prophets; the Pharisees said that if they were there in the time of their fathers they would not have persecuted the prophets. In Luke 11:47, Jesus said, “Woe to you, because you build tombs for the prophets, and it was your ancestors who killed them.” So, you can say all you want that you didn’t vote for Hillary Clinton because of her Satanic beliefs, but Jesus is looking at where we cast our votes.

The Lord said that He will give you leaders after your own heart (Jer. 3:15). So, when I see leaders in the church who are still voting Democrat, they are not concerned about holiness. It’s not about holiness or the people, it’s about self and  about money. They allow LGBT into the churches. Listen, I have no problem with anyone from that community coming to church. They need healing just like everyone else. If a man were to walk into our church wearing a dress, you treat them the same way as you would anyone else. The problem with these churches is they are conforming to and compromising with things that contradict the faith. 

I know what I am saying is intense, but listen, the Lord loves us and wants us to get ready. He is there to help us. If you feel like the Lord is not hearing your prayers, it does not mean the Lord has left you. He is working things out in your life and  trying to get you cleaned up. He is there for us, and even if we are living in sin, He will take us to the woodshed to bring correction for our benefit. Hebrews 12:6 tells us that the Lord chastises those whom He loves. A good Father disciplines their children. It is when we refuse to change that we can become like Judas. Trust in the Lord to take us through the process. We need to be completely sold out to Christ. Amen. 

Sincerely, Apostle Michael Petro

[marlborodean]

spn quotes: season two

i’m collecting a bunch of quotes from the show! my favorite lines, good points of characterization, etc. all organized by episode and character, and with timestamps!

w/ncest shippers get lost

season one.

1. IN MY TIME OF DYING

Dean—

I’ve done everything you have ever asked me. Everything. I’ve given everything I’ve ever had. Now you’re just gonna sit there and you’re gonna watch me die? I mean, what the hell kind of father are you? (11:14)

So you’re okay with dying? [Tessa: No, of course not. I just think, whatever’s gonna happen is gonna happen. It’s out of my control. It’s just...fate.] Hm. That’s crap. You always have a choice. You can either roll over and die, or you can keep fighting no matter what. (18:48)

There’s no such thing as an honorable death. My corpse is gonna rot in the ground, and my family is gonna die. (30:38)

[John: You know, when, uh...when you were a kid, I’d come home from a hunt, and after what I���d seen, I’d be...I’d be wrecked. And you...you’d come up to me, and you’d put your hand on my shoulder, and you’d look me in the eye, and you’d...you’d say, “It’s okay, Dad.” Dean, I’m sorry.] Why? [You shouldn’t have had to say that to me, I should’ve been saying that to you. You know, I put...I put too much on your shoulders. I made you grow up too fast. You took care of Sammy, you took care of me. You did that. And you didn’t complain, not once.] (37:27)

Sam—

How is revenge gonna help him? You're not thinking about anybody but yourself. It's the same selfish obsession! (13:17)

I don't know how to help you. But I'll keep trying, alright? As long as you keep fighting. I mean, come on, you can't...you can't leave me here alone with Dad, we'll kill each other, you know that. Dean, you gotta hold on. You can't go, man, not now. We were just starting to be brothers again. (28:36)

Misc—

Tessa: You'll stay here for years—disembodied, scared. And over the decades, it'll probably drive you mad. Maybe you'll even get violent. [Dean: What are you saying?] Dean, how do you think angry spirits are born? They can't let go, and they can't move on. And you're about to become one: the same thing you hunt. (31:15)

Azazel: If only your boys knew how much their daddy loved them. (32:15)

2. EVERYBODY LOVES A CLOWN

Dean—

[Ellen: I’m so sorry.] It’s okay. We’re alright. [Really. I know how close you and your dad—] Really, lady, I’m fine. (11:37)

[Sam: You ever notice Dad had a falling-out with just about everybody? Don’t get all maudlin on me, man.] What do you mean? [I mean this strong, silent thing of yours. It’s crap, I’m over it.] Oh my God. [This isn’t just anyone we’re talking about, this is Dad. I know how you felt about the man.] You know what? Back off, alright? Just because I’m not caring and sharing like you want me to— [No no no, that’s not what this is about, Dean. I don’t care how you deal with this, but you have to deal with it, man! Listen, I’m your brother, alright? I just wanna make sure you’re okay.] Dude, I’m okay! I’m okay, okay? I swear, the next person who asks me if I’m okay, I’m gonna start throwing punches. These are your issues. Quit dumping them on me. [What are you talking about?] I just think it’s really interesting, this sudden obedience you have to Dad. It’s like, “Oh, what would Dad want me to do?” Sam, you spent your entire life slugging it out with that man. I mean, hell, you—you picked a fight with him the last time you ever saw him, and now that he’s dead, now you want to make it right? Well, I’m sorry, Sam, but you can’t. It’s too little, too late. [Why are you saying this to me?] Because I want you to be honest with yourself about this! I’m dealing with Dad’s death! Are you? (29:48)

Sam—

[Dean: This case was your idea. By the way, why is that? You were awfully quick to jump on this job.] So? [It's just not like you, that's all. I thought you were hell-bent for leather on the demon hunt.] I don't know, I just think taking this job, it's what Dad would have wanted us to do. (16:57)

[Mr. Cooper: You see, this place is a refuge for outcasts, always has been, for folks that don't fit in nowhere else. But you two...you should go to school, find a couple of girls, have 2.5 kids. Live regular.] Sir, we don't want to go school, and we don't want regular. We want this. (22:34)

[Dean: I thought that once the demon was dead and the fat lady sings that you were gonna take off, head back to wussy state.] I'm having second thoughts. [Really?] Yeah. I think Dad would have wanted me to stick with the job. [Since when do you give a damn what Dad wanted? You spent half your life doing what he didn't want, Sam.] Since he died, okay? You have a problem with that? (23:27)

I'm sorry that the last time I was with him, I tried to pick a fight. I'm sorry that I spent most of my life angry at him. I mean, for all I know, he died thinking that I hate him. So you're right. What I'm doing right now, it is too little. It's too late. I miss him, man. And I feel guilty as hell. And I'm not all right, not at all. But neither are you. That much I know. (39:04)

3. BLOODLUST

Dean—

So I picked up this crossbow, and I hit that ugly sucker—silver-tipped arrow, right in his heart. Sammy’s waiting in the car, and me and my dad take the thing into the woods, burn it to a crisp. I’m sitting there, and I’m looking into the fire, I’m thinking to myself, “I’m 16 years old. Kids my age are worried about pimples, prom dates. I’m seeing things that they’ll never even know, never even dream of.” So right then, I just sort of.... [Gordon: Embraced the life?] Yeah. (16:16)

You’re always saying to yourself, “He’s indestructible. He’ll always be around. Nothing can kill my dad.” And just like that, he’s gone. I can’t talk about this to Sammy. No, I got to keep my game face on. But, uh...truth is, I’m not handling it very well. I feel like I have this— [Gordon: Hole inside you? And it just gets bigger and bigger and darker and darker? Good. You can use it. Keeps you hungry. Trust me, there’s plenty out there needs killing, and this will help you do it. Dean, it’s not a crime to need your job.] (18:32)

[Gordon: It’s all black-and-white. There’s no maybe. You find the bad thing, kill it. See, most people spend their lives in shades of gray. Is this right? Is that wrong? Not us.] Not sure Sammy would agree with you, but, uh. [Doesn’t seem like your brother’s much like us. I’m not saying he’s wrong, just different. You and me, we were born to do this. It’s in our blood.] (20:22)

[Sam: You know what? You slap on this big smile, but I can see right through it, ‘cause I know how you feel, Dean. Dad’s dead. And he left a hole, and it hurts so bad you can’t take it. But you can’t just fill up that hole with whoever you want to.] (27:47)

[Gordon: You’re not like your brother. You’re a killer, like me.] (37:08)

I wish we never took this job. It just jacked everything up. [Sam: What do you mean?] Think about all the hunts we went on, Sammy, our whole lives. [Okay.] What if we killed things that didn’t deserve killing. You know? I mean, the way Dad raised us. [Dean, after what happened to Mom...Dad did the best he could.] I know he did. But maybe he wasn’t perfect. And the way he raised us, to hate those things—and man, I hate them. I do. When I killed that vampire at the mill, I didn’t even think about it. Hell, I even enjoyed it. [You didn’t kill Lenore.] No, but every instinct told me to. I was gonna kill her. I was gonna kill them all. (40:20)

Sam—

[Gordon: Well, lighten up a little, Sammy!] He's the only one that gets to call me that. (15:05)

4. CHILDREN SHOULDN’T PLAY WITH DEAD THINGS

Dean—

Going to visit Mom’s grave? She doesn’t even have a grave. There was no body left after the fire. [Sam: She has a headstone.] Yeah, put up by our uncle, a man that we’ve never even met. So you wanna go pay resects to a slab of granite put up by a stranger? Come on. [Dean, that’s not the point.] Well, them enlighten me, Sam. [It’s not about a body or a casket. It’s about her memory, okay? And after Dad, it just—it just feels like the right thing to do.] It’s irrational, is what it is. [Look, man, no one asked you to come.] Why don’t we swing by the roadhouse instead? I mean, we haven’t heard anything on the demon lately. We should be hunting that son-of-a-bitch down. [That’s a good idea! You should! Just drop me off, I’ll hitch a ride, and I’ll meet you there tomorrow.] Right. Stuck with those people, making awkward small talk until you show up. No thanks. (02:48)

[Sam: Look, maybe you’re imagining a hunt where there isn’t one, so you don’t have to think about Mom, or Dad. You wanna take another swing? Go ahead, if it’ll make you feel better.] I don’t need this crap. [Dean, where are you going?] I’m gonna go get a drink. Alone. (09:59)

Look, I get it. Okay? There are people that I would give anything to see again, but what gives you the right? [Sam: Dean.] [Dr. Mason: What are you talking about?] What’s dead should stay dead! (20:51)

[Sam: Dean, I don’t scare easy, but, man, you’re scaring the crap out of me.] Don’t be overdramatic, Sam. [You’re lucky this turned out to be a real case, ‘cause if it wasn’t, you would’ve just found something else to kill. You’re on edge, you’re erratic, except for when you’re hunting, ‘cause then you’re downright scary. You’re tailspinning, man! And you refuse to talk about it, and you won’t let me help you.] I can take care of myself, thanks. [No, you can’t! And you know what? You’re the only one who thinks you should have to. You don’t have to handle this on your own, Dean. No one can.] (21:44)

I’m sorry. [Sam: For what?] The way I’ve been acting. And for Dad. Well, he was your dad, too. It’s my fault that he’s gone. [What are you talking about?] I know you’ve been thinking it. So have I. Doesn’t take a genius to figure it out. Back at the hospital, I had a full recovery. It was a miracle. And five minutes later, Dad’s dead and the Colt’s gone. [Dean....] You can’t tell me there’s not a connection there. I don’t know how the demon was involved, I don’t know how the whole thing went down exactly, but Dad’s dead because of me, and that much I do know. [We don’t know that, not for sure.] Sam, you and Dad, you’re the most important people in my life. And now...I never should’ve come back, Sam, it wasn’t natural, and now look what’s come of it. I was dead, and I should’ve stayed dead. You wanted to know how I was feeling. So tell me, what could you possibly say to make that alright? (38:56)

Sam—

[Dean: Going to visit Mom's grave? She doesn't even have a grave. There was no body left after the fire.] She has a headstone. [Yeah, put up by our uncle, a man that we've never even met. So you wanna go pay your respects to a slab of granite put up by a stranger? Come on.] Dean, that's not the point. [Well, then, enlighten me, Sam.] It's not about a body or a casket. It's about her memory, okay? And after Dad, it just—it just feels like the right thing to do. (02:48)

You're tailspinning, man. And you refuse to talk about it, and you won't let me help you. [Dean: I can take care of myself, thanks.] No, you can't! And you know what? You're the only one who thinks you should have to. You don't have to handle this on your own, Dean. No one can. [Sam, if you bring up Dad's death one more time, I swear—] Please, Dean, it's killing you. Please. We've already lost Dad. We lost Mom. I've lost Jessica. And now I'm gonna lose you, too? (21:44)

5. SIMON SAID

Dean—

You know, one day I’d love to just sit down and eat something that I didn’t have to microwave at a minimart. (18:03)

[Sam: You know, I heard you before, Dean, when Andy made you tell the truth. You’re just as scared of this as I am.] That was mind control! It’s like—it’s like being roofied, man. That doesn’t count. [What?] No, I—I’m calling do-over. [What are you, 7?] Doesn’t matter. Look, we just gotta keep doing what we’re doing, find that evil son of a bitch and kill it. (36:06)

Sam—

[Dean: There's gonna be hunters there. I don't know if—if going in and announcing that you're some supernatural freak with a demonic connection is the best thing, okay?] So I'm a freak now? [You've always been a freak.] (04:14)

Demon came to them when they were kids. Now they're killing people. [Dean: We don't know what Andrew Gallagher is, okay? Could be innocent.] My visions haven't been wrong yet! [What's your point?] My point is, I'm one of them. [No, you're not.] Dean, the demon said he had plans for me and children like me. [Yeah?] Yeah, maybe this is his plan. Maybe we're all a bunch of psychic freaks. Maybe we're all supposed to be— [Killers?] Yeah. [So the demon wants you out there, killing with your minds, is that it? Oh, give me a break. You're not a murderer, Sam! You don't have it in your bones!] No? Last I checked, I kill all kinds of things. [Those things were asking for it. There's a difference.] (10:47)

Looks like I was right. [Dean: About what?] Andy. He's a killer after all. [No, he's a hero. He saved his girlfriend's life. He saved my life.] Bottom line, last night he wasted somebody. [Yeah, but he's not a foaming-at-the-mouth psycho. He was just—he was pushed into that.] Webber was pushed, too, in his own way. Max Miller was pushed. Hell, I was pushed by Jessica's death. [What's your point, Sam?] Right circumstances, everyone is capable of murder. Everyone. (35:28)

6. NO EXIT

Dean—

[Jo: You know, I’ve had it up to here with your crap.] Excuse me? [Your chauvinist crap. You think women can’t do the job.] Sweetheart, this ain’t gender studies. Women can do the job fine. Amateurs can’t. You got no experience! What you do have is a bunch of half-baked romantic notions that some barfly has put in your head. [And now you sound like my mother.] Oh, and that’s a bad thing? (09:56)

Jo, you got options. No on in their right mind chooses this life. My dad started me in this when I was so young. I wish I could do something else. [Jo: You love the job.] Yeah, but I’m a little twisted. [You don’t think I’m a little twisted, too?] Jo, you got a mother that worries about you, who wants something more for you. Those are good things. You don’t throw things like that away. They might be hard to find later. (10:24)

[Jo: What do you remember about your dad? I mean, what’s the first thing that pops into your head? Come on, tell me.] I was 6 or 7, and uh...he took me shooting for the first time. Bottles on a fence—that kind of things. I bull’s-eyed every one of them. And he would smile, like...I don’t know. [He must have been proud.] (16:13)

Sam—

Is this job as glamorous as you thought it would be? [Jo: Well, except for all the pee-your-pants terror, yeah. But that Theresa girl’s gonna live a life ‘cause of us. It’s worth it, isn’t it?] Yeah. Yeah, it is. (36:00)

Misc—

Ellen: I am your mother! I don't have to be reasonable! (03:06)

7. THE USUAL SUSPECTS

Dean—

My name is Dean Winchester. I’m an Aquarius. I enjoy sunsets, long walks on the beach, and frisky women. (21:59)

[Sam: Nice lady.] Yeah, for a cop. (41:19)

Sam—

[Diana: Then about a year ago, there was a fire in your apartment. One fatality—Jessica Moore, your girlfriend. After she died, you fell off the grid—left behind everything.] I needed some time off...to deal. So I’m taking a road trip with my brother. (03:49)

[Dean: What do you think, Scully?] I’m not Scully, you’re Scully. [No, I’m Mulder. You’re a red-headed woman.] (06:35)

8. CROSSROAD BLUES

Dean—

[Sam: We got to find out if anyone else struck any bargains around here.] Great. So we got to clean up these people’s mess for them? I mean, they’re not exactly squeaky clean. Nobody put a gun to their head and forced them to play “Let’s Make a Deal.” [So what, we should just leave them to die?] Somebody goes over Niagara in a barrel, you gonna jump in to try to save them? [Dean.] Alright. Fine. (14:44)

[Demon: You’d sacrifice your life for someone else’s. Like father, like son. (29:01) 

[Demon: I’m not gonna put you out of your misery.] Yeah? Why not? [’Cause your misery is the whole point. It’s too much to watch. Knowing how your daddy died for you, how he sold his soul—I mean, that’s got to hurt. He’s all you ever think about. You wake up and your first thought is, “I can’t do this anymore.” You’re all lit up with pain. I mean, you loved him so much. And it’s all your fault. You blew it, Dean! I could’ve given you what you need.] What do I need? [Your father.] (30:36)

How could he do it? [Sam: He did it for you.] Exactly. How am I supposed to live with that? (38:14)

Sam—

How many people do you think Dad saved total? [Dean: That's not the point, Sam.] Evan Hudson is safe because of what Dad taught us. That's his legacy, Dean. Now we're still here, man, so we got to keep going. For him. (38:48)

Misc—

George: Listen, I get that you boys want to help, but sometimes a person makes their bed and they just got to lie down in it. (17:38)

9. CROATOAN

Dean—

Hey, look, man, I’m not happy about this, okay? But it's a tough job, and you know that. [Sam: It's supposed to be tough, Dean. We're supposed to struggle with this. That's the whole point.] What does that buy us? [A clear conscience, for one.] Well, it's too late for that. [What the hell has happened to you?] What? [You might kill an innocent man, and you don't even care. You don't act like yourself anymore, Dean. Hell, you know what, you're acting like one of those things out there.] (25:40)

[Sam: Go with them. This is your only chance.] Ah, you're not gonna get rid of me that easy. (31:17)

[Sam: Dean, I'm sick. It's over for me. It doesn't have to be for you.] No—[No, you can keep going.] Who says I want to? [What?] I'm tired, Sam. I'm tired of this job, this life, this weight on my shoulders, man, I'm tired of it. [So what, so you're just gonna give up? I mean, you're just gonna lay down and die? Look, Dean, I know this stuff with Dad had—] You're wrong. It's not about Dad. I mean, part of it is, sure— [Then what is it about?] (32:54)

I just think we should take a break from all this. Why do we got to get stuck with all the responsibility, you know? Why can't we live life a little bit? [Why are you saying all this? No no no no no, Dean. You're my brother, alright? So whatever weight you're carrying, let me help a little bit.] I can't. I promised. [Who?] Dad. (39:23)

Sam—

[Dean: Hey, look, man, I'm not happy about this, okay? But it's a tough job, and you know that.] It's supposed to be tough, Dean. We're supposed to struggle with this. That's the whole point. [What does that buy us?] A clear conscience, for one. (25:40)

You're my brother, alright? So whatever weight you're carrying, let me help a little bit. (39:38)

10. HUNTED

Dean—

He said that he...wanted me to watch out for you. Take care of you. [Sam: He told you that a million times.] Well, this time was different. He said that I had to...save you. [Save me from what?] He just said that I had to save you, and nothing else mattered and that if I couldn't, I'd.... [You'd what, Dean?] I'd have to kill you. He said that I might have to kill you, Sammy. (04:10)

[Sam: How could you not have told me this?] Because it was Dad and he begged me not to. [Who cares? Take some responsibility for yourself Dean! You had no right to keep this from me!] You think I wanted this? Huh? I wish to God he'd never opened his mouth. Then I wouldn't have to walk around with this screaming in my head all day! (05:05)

And you're pissed at me, and I get it. That's fine, I deserve it. But we lay low until we figure out our next move, okay? [Sam: Forget it.] Sam, please, man. Hey, please. Just give me some time. Give me some time to think, okay? I'm begging you here. Please, please. (06:12)

Come on, Ellen, please. Something bad could be going on here, and I swore I'd look after that kid. [Ellen: They say you can't protect your loved ones forever. Well, I say screw that. What else is family for?] (17:27)

Come on, man. I know Sam, okay? Better than anyone. He's got more of a conscience than I do. I mean, the guy feels guilty surfing the internet for porn. [Gordon: Maybe you're right, but one day, he's gonna be a monster.] How? Huh? How's a guy like Sam become a monster? [Beats me, but he will.] No, you don't know that! [I'm surprised at you, Dean. Getting all emotional. I'd heard you were more of a professional than this.] (29:15)

[Gordon: Look, I'm sympathetic. He's your brother, you love the guy. This has got to hurt like hell for you. But here's the thing. It would've wrecked him, but your dad, if it really came right down to it, he would have had the stones to do the right thing here. So you're telling me, you're not the man he is?] (30:24)

Screw the job. Screw it, man. I'm sick of the job anyway. I mean, we don't get paid, we don't get thanked. The only thing we get's bad luck. [Well, come on, dude, you're a hunter. I mean, it's what you're meant to do.] Oh, I wasn't meant to do anything. I don't believe in that destiny crap. (39:00)

[Sam: You can't run from this, and you can't protect me.] I can try. (39:27)

Sam—

[Dean: He said that I might have to kill you, Sammy.] Kill me? What the hell is that supposed to mean? [I don't know.] I mean, he must've had some kind of reason for saying it, right? I mean, did he know the demon's plans for me? Am I supposed to go dark side or something? What else did he say, Dean? [That's it, I swear.] How could you not have told me this? [Because it was Dad and he begged me not to.] Who cares? Take some responsibility for yourself Dean! You had no right to keep this from me! (04:46)

[Ellen: I wish I could blame the hell out of you boys. It'd be easier. Truth is, it's not your fault. Sam, none of it is.] (10:27)

[Gordon: You wouldn't shoot me, would you, Sammy? 'Cause your brother, he thinks you're some kind of saint.] Yeah, well, I wouldn't be so sure. (33:46)

[Gordon: You're no better than the filthy things you hunt.] *They tussle, Sam points a gun at him.* [Do it. Do it! Show your brother the killer you really are, Sammy.] It's Sam. (34:22)

I'm not gonna just ditch the job. (39:00)

[Dean: Oh, I wasn't meant to do anything. I don't believe in that destiny crap.] You mean you don't believe in my destiny. [Whatever.] Look, Dean, I've tried running before. I mean, I ran all the way to California and look what happened. You can't run from this, and you can't protect me. [I can try.] Thanks for that. Look, Dean, I'm gonna keep hunting. I mean, whatever's coming, I'm taking it head on, so if you really want to watch my back, then I guess you're gonna have to stick around. (39:13)

11. PLAYTHINGS

Dean—

[Sam: We gotta save as many people as we can.] Wow. That attitude is just way too healthy for me. I'm officially uncomfortable now, thank you. (05:16)

[Sam: I need you to watch out for me.] Yeah, I always do. [No no no no, you have to watch out for me, all right? And if I ever turn into something that I'm not...you have to kill me.] Sam.... [Dean, Dad told you to do it. You have to.] Yeah, well, Dad's an ass. He never should've said anything. I mean, you don't do that, you don't—you don't lay that kind of crap on your kids. [No, he was right to say it. Who knows what I might become? Even now, everyone around me dies.] Yeah, well, I'm not dying. Okay? And neither are you. Come on, sit down. [No. Please. Dean, you're the only one who can do it. Promise.] Don't ask that of me. (16:18)

[Sherwin: Well, would you be [happy], leaving the only home you ever knew?] I don't know. I never really knew one. (19:06)

Sam—

I told Ellen we'd think about checking it out. [Dean: You did?] Yeah. You seem surprised. [Yeah, it's just, you know. Not the patented Sam Winchester way, is it?] What way is that? [Just figured after Ava, there'd be, uh, you know, more angst and droopy music and staring out the rainy windows. I'll shut up now.] (04:27)

So I'm not giving up on her, but I'm not gonna let other people die, either. We gotta save as many people as we can. (05:09)

That guy who hung himself...I couldn't save him. [Dean: What are you talking about? You didn't know. You couldn't have done anything.] That's an excuse, Dean. I should have found a way to save him. I should have saved Ava, too. [Yeah, well, you can't save everyone. Even you said that.] No, Dean, you don't understand, alright? The more people I save, the more I can change. [Change what?] My destiny, Dean. (15:46)

I need you to watch out for me. [Dean: Yeah, I always do.] No no no no, you have to watch out for me, alright? And if I ever turn into something that I'm not...you have to kill me. [Dean: Sam....] Dean, Dad told you to do it. You have to. [Yeah, well, Dad's an ass. He never should've said anything. I mean, you don't do that, you don't—you don't lay that kind of crap on your kids.] No, he was right to say it. Who knows what I might become? Even now, everyone around me dies. [Yeah, well, I'm not dying. Okay? And neither are you. Come on, sit down.] No. Please. Dean, you're the only one who can do it. Promise. [Don't ask that of me.] Dean, please. You have to promise me. [I promise.] Thanks. Thank you. (16:18)

12. NIGHTSHIFTER

Dean—

Freaking cops. [Sam: They were just doing their job.] No, they’re doing our job, only they don’t know it, so they suck at it. (03:36)

[Henriksen: I know about your dad.] You don't know crap about my dad. [Ex-Marine, raised his kids on the road, cheap motels, backwood cabins. Real paramilitary survivalist type. I just can't get a handle on what type of wacko he was— white supremist, Timmy McVeigh, tomato, tomahto.] You got no right talking about my dad like that. He was a hero. [Yeah, right. Sure sounds like it.] (31:18)

Sam—

[Dean: When you told that poor son of a bitch to—what did you say?—���remand” the tapes that he copied? “Classified evidence of an ongoing investigation”? That’s messed up.] What, are you pissed at me? [No, I just think it’s a little creepy how good of a Fed you are.] (08:51)

Better to stay in the dark and stay alive. (08:51)

13. HOUSES OF THE HOLY

Dean—

Odd, yes. Supernatural, maybe. But angels? I don't think so. [Sam: Why not?] 'Cause there's no such thing, Sam. [Dean, there's ten times as much lore about angels as there is about anything else we've ever hunted.] Hey, you know what, there's a ton of lore on unicorns, too. In fact, I hear that they ride on silver moonbeams and they shoot rainbows outta their ass. [Wait, there's no such thing as unicorns?] That's cute. I'm just saying, man, there's some legends that you just file under “bullcrap.” [And you got angels on the ”bullcrap” list.] Yep. [Why?] 'Cause I've never seen one. [So what?] So I believe in what I can see. [Dean, you and I have seen things most people couldn't even dream about.] Exactly. With our own eyes—that's hard proof, okay? But in all this time, I have never seen anything that looks like an angel. And don't you think that if they existed that we would've crossed paths with them, or at least know someone that crossed paths with them? (06:17)

You know what? I get it. You've got faith. That's—hey, good for you. I'm sure it makes things easier. I'll tell you who else had faith like that. Mom. She used to tell me when she tucked me in that angels were watching over us. In fact, that was the last thing she ever said to me. [You never told me that.] What's to tell? She was wrong. There was nothing protecting her. There's no higher power. There's no God. I mean, there's just chaos and violence and random, unpredictable evil that comes out of nowhere and rips you to shreds. You want me to believe in this stuff? I'm gonna need to see some hard proof. You got any? (23:09)

Sam—

[Dean: What's next? Are you gonna start praying everyday?] I do. [What?] I do pray every day. I have for a long time. (19:50)

I wanted to believe. So badly. It's so damn hard to do this, what we do, all alone, you know? There's so much evil out in the world, Dean, I feel like I could drown in it. And when I think about my destiny, when I think about how I could end up.... [Dean: Yeah, well, don't worry about that, alright? I'm watching out for you.] Yeah, I know you are. But you're just one person, Dean. And I needed to think that there was something else watching, too, you know? Some higher power, some greater good. And maybe.... [Maybe what?] Maybe I could be saved. But, you know, that just clouded my judgement. And you're right. I mean, we got to go with what we know, with what we can see, with what's right there in front of our own two eyes. (37:54)

14. BORN UNDER A BAD SIGN

Dean—

[Meg!Sam: Then how the hell did I get here, Dean? What happened to me?] I don't know, all right? But you're...you're okay, and that's what matters. Everything else we can deal with. (02:51)

Sam, go wait in the car. [Meg!Sam: But, Dean—] Go wait in the car! (06:40)

What's going on with you, Sam, hm? 'Cause smoking, throwing bottles at people, I mean that sounds more like me than you. (07:51)

You know, I've tried so hard to keep you safe. [Meg!Sam: I know.] I can't. I'd rather die. [No. You'll live.] (15:53)

[Meg!Sam: What the hell's wrong with you, Dean? Are you that scared of being alone that you'd rather let Jo die?] (25:53)

This is my fight. I'm not getting your blood on my hands. That's just how it's gonna be. (31:28)

[Meg!Sam: Dean. Back from the dead. Getting to be a regular thing for you, isn't it? Like a cockroach. (34:13)

[Meg!Sam: All that I had to hold onto was that I would climb out one day and that I was gonna torture you, nice and slow, like pulling the wings off an insect. But whatever I do to you, it's nothing compared to what you do to yourself, is it? I can see it in your eyes, Dean. You're worthless. You couldn't save your dad, and deep down, you know that you can't save your brother. They'd have been better off without you.] (37:21)

[Sam: No matter what I did, you wouldn't shoot.] It was the right move, Sam, it wasn't you. [Yeah, this time. What about next time?] Sam, when Dad told me that I might have to kill you, it was only if I couldn't save you. Now, if it's the last thing I do, I'm gonna save you. (41:01)

Sam—

For the last few weeks, I've been having...I've been having these feelings. [Dean: What feelings?] Rage. Hate. And I can't stop it. It just gets worse. Day by day, it gets worse. [You never told me this.] I didn't want to scare you. (13:52)

[Dean: No one can control you but you.] Sure doesn't seem like that, Dean. It feels like no matter what I do, slowly but surely, I'm—I'm just becoming— [What?] Who I'm meant to be. I mean, you said it once yourself, Dean, I got to face up to who I am. (14:29)

I don't want to hurt anyone else. I don't want to hurt you. [Dean: You won't. Whatever this is, you can fight it.] No. I can't. Not forever. (15:16)

My head feels like it's on fire, alright? (25:21)

Misc: 

Meg: Hell is like, uh...well, it's like hell. Even for demons. It's a prison made of bone and flesh and blood and fear. (36:42)

15. TALL TALES

Dean—

[Bobby: Come on, now, you're bickering like an old married couple.] No, see, married couples can get divorced. Me and him? We're like, uh, Siamese twins. [Sam: It's conjoined twins.] See what I mean? [Look, it...we've just been on the road for too long, tight quarters, all that.] (11:19) 

[Sam: Dude, you know something? I put up with a lot from you.] What are you talking about? I'm a joy to be around. [Yeah? Your dirty socks in the sink, your food in the fridge?] What's wrong with my food? [It's not food anymore, Dean! It's Darwinism!] I like it. [And you know what? All I ask from you, the one thing, is that you don't mess with my stuff!] You done? [You know, how would you feel if I screwed with the Impala?] It'd be the last thing you ever did. (21:15)

Sam—

Dude, you know something? I put up with a lot from you. [What are you talking about? I'm a joy to be around.] Yeah? Your dirty socks in the sink, your food in the fridge? [What's wrong with my food?] It's not food anymore, Dean! It's Darwinism! [I like it.] And you know what? All I ask from you, the one thing, is that you don't mess with my stuff! (21:15)

16. ROADKILL

Dean—

You know, just once I'd like to round the corner and see a nice house. (16:14)

Me? I don't like [spirits]. And I sure as hell ain't making apologies for 'em. (20:08)

[Molly: Oh, thank God.] Call me Dean. (28:46)

Sam—

Spirits like Greeley are, uh...like wounded animals. Lost, in so much pain, that they lash out. [Molly: Why? Why are they here?] Well, there's some part of them that...that's keeping them here, like their remains, or um...unfinished business. [Unfinished business....] Yeah, uh, could be revenge. Could be love. Or hate. Whatever it is, they just hold on too tight. Can't let go. So they're trapped, caught in the same loops. Replaying the same tragedies over and over. [You sound almost sorry for them.] Well, they weren't evil people, you know? A lot of them were good, just...something happened to them. Something they couldn't control. (18:52)

[Dean: You think she's really going to a better place?] I hope so. [I guess we'll never know. Not until we take the plunge ourselves, huh?] Doesn't really matter, Dean. Hope's kind of the whole point. (38:23)

17. HEART

Dean—

[Sam: Dean, could you be a bigger geek about this?] I'm sorry, man, but what about a human by day, a freak animal killing machine by moonlight don't you understand? I mean, werewolves are badass. We haven't seen one since we were kids. (04:39)

[Sam: You go. I'll stay.] Forget that. You go after the creepy ex. I'm gonna hang here with the hot chick. [Dude, why do you always get to hang out with the girls?] 'Cause I'm older. [No, screw that. We settle this the old-fashioned way.] *Dean throws scissors while Sam throws rock.* [Dean, always with the scissors!] Shut up, shut up. Two out of three. *Dean throws scissors while Sam throws rock.* God! [Bundle up out there, all right?] (11:11]

Sammy, I got this one. I'll do it. [Sam: She asked me to.] You don't have to. (38:56)

Sam—

I'm not putting a bullet through some girl's chest who has no idea what's happening. [Dean: Sam, she's a monster and you're feeling sorry for her?] Maybe I understand her. (21:26)

18. HOLLYWOOD BABYLON

Dean—

[Sam: You know, I thought you hated being a PA.] I don’t know, it’s not so bad. I kind of feel like part of the team, you know? It’s good. (19:22)

Hey, we got to go check out Johnny Ramone’s grave when we’re gone here. [Sam: You want to go dig him up, too?] Bite your tongue, heathen! (23:25)

[Marty: He wrote a wackjob screenplay. There’s no pace, there’s no love interest. It’s all wackadoo exposition. I had to cut, like, 90 percent of it to make it readable, another 10 percent to make it good.] ...Should have kept Walter’s original script. It’s actually pretty good. (31:15)

Sam—

[Dean: I just figured that, you know, after everything that happened with Madison, you could use a little R&R, that’s all.] Maybe I want to work, Dean. Maybe it keeps my mind off things. (05:38)

19. FOLSOM PRISON BLUES

Dean—

Innocent people are dead—four, so far. [Sam: Yeah, innocent.] What, are you from Texas all of a sudden? Just 'cause these people are in jail doesn't mean they deserve to die. And if we don't stop this thing, people are gonna continue to die. We do the job wherever it takes us. (11:30)

[Sam: You're doing this for Deacon?] Damn right. [We barely even know the guy.] We know he was in the Corps with Dad. We know he saved Dad's life. We know we owe him. [Yeah, all right, but don't you think he's asking a little much?] Doesn't matter. We may not be saints, but we're loyal and we pay our debts. Now, that means something to me, and it ought to to you. (11:47)

[Sam: Dean, does it bother you at all how easily you seem to fit in here?] No, not really. (28:07)

Sam—

I hate this plan, Dean. [Dean: yeah, I got that the first ten times I heard it.] (05:12)

This is, without a doubt, the dumbest, craziest thing we’ve ever done, and that’s in a long, storied career of dumb and crazy. (10:58)

20. WHAT IS AND WHAT SHOULD NEVER BE

Dean—

When I was a kid, what did you always tell me when you put me to bed? [Mary: Dean, I don't understand—] Just answer the question. [I told you angels were watching over you.] (07:05)

Who'd have thought, Baby? We're civilians. (11:42)

That lawn looks like it could use some mowing. [Mary: You want to mow the lawn?] You kidding me? I'd love to mow the lawn. [Knock yourself out. You'd think you've never mowed a lawn in your life.] (13:08)

[Sam: I mean this whole warm, fuzzy, ecstasy-trip thing.] I'm just happy for you, Sammy. [Yeah, right. That's another thing. Since when do you call me “Sammy?” Dean, come on. We don't talk outside of holidays.] We don't? Well, we should. I mean, you're my brother. [”You're my brother?”] Yeah! [You know, that's what you said when you snaked my ATM card, or when you bailed on my graduation, or when you hooked up with Rachel Nave.] Who? [My prom date, on prom night.] Yeah, that does kinda sound like me. Well, hey, man, I'm sorry about all that. [No, look, it's all right, man, I just...you know, I'm not asking you to change, I just.... I don't know, I guess we just don't really have anything in common. You know?] Wait, whoa whoa whoa, yes we do. Yes we do. [What?] Hunting. [Hunting? I've never been hunting in my life, Dean.] Yeah, well, then we should go sometime. I think you'd be great at it. (17:51)

I can fix things with Sam. I can make it up to him. To everyone. [Carmen: Okay. What's gotten into you lately?] This isn't gonna make a lick of sense to you...but I kind of feel like I've been given a second chance. And I don't want to waste it. (19:58)

And there's this woman that's haunting me, I don't know why. I don't know what the connection is—not yet, anyway. It's like my old life is coming after me or something, you know, like it doesn't want me to be happy. Of course, I know what you'd say. Well, not the you that played softball, but you'd say, "Go hunt the djinn. It put you here, it can put you back. Your happiness or all those people's lives, no contest." Right? But why? Why is it my job to save these people? Why do I have to be some kind of hero? What about us, huh? What, Mom's not supposed to live her life? Sammy's not supposed to get married? Why do we have to sacrifice everything, Dad? (23:14)

I'm sorry that we don't get along. And I wish to hell I could stay and fix it. But I gotta do this. People's lives depend on it. (26:07)

[Djinn!Sam: Why'd you have to keep digging? Why couldn't you have left well-enough alone? You were happy.] [Djinn!Mary: Put the knife down, honey.] You're not real. None of it is. [It doesn't matter. It's still better than anything you had.] What? [It's everything you want. We're a family again. Let's go home.] I'll die. The djinn will drain the life out of me in a couple days. [But in here, with us, it'll feel like years, like a lifetime. I promise. No more pain, no more fear. Just love and comfort and safety. Dean, stay with us. Get some rest.] [Djinn!Jessica: You don't have to worry about Sam anymore. You get to watch him live a full life.] [Djinn!Carmen: We can have a future together, have our own family. I love you, Dean. Please.] [Djinn!Sam: Why is it our job to save everyone? Haven't we done enough? I'm begging you. Give me the knife.] I'm sorry. (34:47)

I gotta tell you, though, man, you know, you had Jess. Mom was gonna have grandkids. [Sam: Yeah, but Dean, it wasn't real.] I know. But I wanted to stay. I wanted to stay so bad. I mean, ever since Dad....all I can—all I can think about it how much this job has cost us. We've lost so much. And we've sacrificed so much. (40:43)

Sam—

[Dean: Get out of the car.] I'm going with you. [You're just gonna slow me down.] Tough. [This is dangerous and you could get hurt.] Yeah, and so could you, Dean. [Sam—] Look, whatever stupid thing you're about to do, you're not doing it alone, and that's that. [I don't understand, why are you doing this?] Because you're still my brother. [Bitch.] What are you calling me a bitch for? [You're supposed to say jerk.] What? [Nevermind.] (27:07)

Well, I'm glad we do [get along]. And I'm glad you dug yourself out, Dean. Most people wouldn't have had the strength. They would've just stayed. (40:25)

[Dean: We've lost so much. And we've sacrificed so much.] But people are alive because of you, Dean. It's worth it, it is. It's not fair, and, you know, it hurts like hell, but it's worth it. (41:24)

21. ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE, PART I

Dean—

I'm gonna take care of you. I'm gonna take care of you. I got you. That's my job, right? Watch out for my pain-in-the-ass little brother. (39:32)

Sam—

[Jake: By the way, I, uh, appreciate what you're doing here.] What am I doing? [Keeping calm, keeping them calm. Especially considering how freaked to hell you really are. I've been in some deep crap before myself. I know the look.] Want to know the truth? I got this brother, right? And he's always telling me how he's gonna watch out for me, how everything's gonna be okay, you know, kinda like I've been telling them. [Yeah.] I don't know if I believe it this time. (22:56)

22. ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE, PART II

Dean—

[Bobby: Don't you think maybe it's time...we bury Sam?] No. [We could maybe....] What? Torch his corpse? Not yet. [I want you to come with me.] I'm not going anywhere. [Dean, please.] Would you cut me some slack? [I just don't think you should be alone, that's all. I gotta admit, I could use your help. Something big is going down—end-of-the-world big!] Well, then let it end! [You don't mean that.] You don't think so? Huh? You don't think I've given enough? You don't think I've paid enough? I'm done with it. All of it. (02:16)

You know, when we were little, when you couldn't have been more than five, you just started asking questions. How come we didn't have a mom, why do we always have to move around, where'd Dad go when he'd take off for days at a time? I remember I begged you, "Quit asking, Sammy. Man, you don't want to know." I just wanted you to be a kid, just for a little while longer. I always tried to protect you, keep you safe. Dad didn't even have to tell me. It was just always my responsibility, you know? It's like I have one job—I had one job. And I screwed it up. I blew it. And for that, I'm sorry. I guess that's what I do. I let down the people I love. I let Dad down. And now I guess I'm just supposed to let you down, too? How can I? How am I supposed to live with that? What am I supposed to do? Sammy. What am I supposed to do? (06:27)

That's the same deal you give everybody else. [Demon: You're not everybody else. Why would I want to give you anything? Keep your gutter soul. It's too tarnished, anyway.] (11:08)

You almost died in there. I mean, what would I have.... You just take care of yourself for a little bit, huh? Just for a little bit. (16:37)

Which is why we gotta find this yellow-eyed son of a bitch. That's why I'm gonna kill him myself. I mean, I got nothing to lose now, right? (19:00)

[Bobby: What is it with you Winchesters, huh? You, your dad—you're both just itching to throw yourselves down the pit.] (19:18)

Dad brought me back, Bobby, I'm not even supposed to be here. At least this way, something good could come out of it, you know? It's like my life can mean something. [Bobby: What? And it didn't before? Have you got that low an opinion of yourself? Are you that screwed in the head?] I couldn't let him die, Bobby. I couldn't. He's my brother. [How is your brother gonna feel when he knows you're going to Hell? How'd you feel when you knew your dad went for you?] You can't tell him. You take a shot at me, whatever you gotta do, but please don't tell him. (19:27)

[Azazel: You saw what your brother just did to Jake, right? That was pretty cold, wasn't it? How certain are you that what you brought back is 100% pure Sam? You of all people should know that's what dead should stay dead. Anyway, thanks a bunch. I knew I kept you alive for some reason. Until now, anyway. I couldn't have done it without your pathetic, self-loathing, self-destructive desire to sacrifice yourself for your family.] (32:23)

[Sam: You shouldn't have done that. How could you do that?] Don't get mad at me. Don't you do that. I had to. I had to look out for you. That's my job. (38:45)

Sam—

I kind of can't believe it, Dean. I mean... our whole lives, everything... has been prepping for this, and now I...I kind of don't know what to say. (36:35)

[Dean: I had to look out for you. That's my job.] And what do you think my job is? [What?] You saved my life over and over. I mean, you sacrifice everything for me. Don't you think I'd do the same for you? You're my big brother. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you. And I don't care what it takes, I'm gonna get you out of this. Guess I gotta save your ass for a change. (38:57)

[twilitty]

Waiting pt.2

Waiting

@twilitty​

Part 2/?

Word count: 2.5k

Warnings: none

Read this first! Bella is away while Rose and Emmett are watching Nessie. This fic is centered around Bella.

It took everything out of Bella to not draw attention to herself. She had dressed in sweatpants and a ratty sweatshirt that she had to hide in the back of her closet so Alice couldn’t find it. Yet still people stared at her. This was one thing Bella doubted she would ever get used to: the attention.

She liked to lay low, fly under the radar, get lost in the crowd. But, that hasn’t happened to her since her human days. Well, it hasn’t really happened to her since Phoenix. It seemed that Forks high school thought she was the best thing around and quickly she had a band of boys vying for her attention. 

She’s walking down a busy side street in Port Angeles, she hadn’t lied about where she was going. The entire family knows she is in the city, they just don’t know why- except for Alice- and decidedly choose not to ask her about it. She appreciates the faux privacy they give her. It’s difficult living with a family who had supernatural hearing abilities, every whispered argument with her new husband was put on display for all to discuss in private. 

Port Angeles is her monthly retreat from the Cullens, who seemed to be her only socialization after she awoke as a vampire. It’s not that she doesn’t enjoy spending time with them, she loves them all dearly, but most conversations revert back to time periods from before she was born. She was never a fan of history class.

Port Angeles was nowhere near as large as other cities, but it was close to home and she doesn’t like leaving her daughter for long periods of time. 

The street is littered with tourists in heavy backpacks, maps under their noses. The maps are unnecessary, each street has clear signage and you can always cut through alleyways to the next street over if you need to move fast. She can’t imagine how anybody could get lost among these streets and then scolds herself immediately. She had gotten lost in these streets. Her human self was used to getting lost and falling into the lap of trouble. She hates forgetting about her old self. 

Her shoulder bag bumps her hip with every step, inside her car keys, wallet, and a hardcover book. It’s a battered copy of Pride and Prejudice, the edges of the stiff covers frayed with time and use. The words inside bore the stains of past tears, tears she would never shed again. She remembers the last time she cried over these pages, sitting on Charlies beat up couch with her wet hair tied up in a towel atop her head. She couldn’t stop thinking of Edward. This was before they had come together and stayed together. She had hoped that his behaviour was an imitation of Mr.Darcy’s. Hopefully he was just pretending to dislike her because he didn’t know how to work through his true emotions, ultimately her hopes came true, but at the time she felt empty. 

Empty from caring too much and empty from being let down yet another time. A new town she didn’t want to be in, and the one bright side seemed to hate her, how is she supposed to cope with that? She had treated herself with a bowl of ice cream after her hot shower, curling up in a quilt that seemed older than her and reading Jane Austen yet again. 

Everytime Darcy entered a scene another fat tear would drop onto the page, marking the exact spot she thought of the cruel bronze haired boy. A boy so beautiful her heart wanted to sing, yet every time he looked at her with that same disdain she couldn’t help but feel torn apart all over again. How could one human stand so much torment?

A part of her, small and insignificant, sits in her gut and wishes for tears. Wants some physical expression of her emotions. But, that won’t happen. 

The street winds to the right, groups of teenagers clustered outside of an indie coffee shop and giggling amongst each other. Idly she wonders, how is Angela doing? But the thought disappears as quickly as it comes and she finds herself at the end of the street with a four-way stop in front of her. 

She takes the right turn, sneakers scuffing as she lets her heels drag a little with every step. Humans never walk evenly, there is always something to unbalance their gait and mark their shoes. Alice would rather die a million deaths than see Bella purposefully mistreat her shoes, even if they’re knock offs she bought at an outlet mall. 

A couple buildings down, all cement and brick, is the public library. It’s poorly funded and the lighting inside is horrendous. The windows need to be resealed and the doors squeak like mice. She loves it. She enters into the drafty lobby, a bulletin board shows all the events this month, a book club is scheduled for today at noon. She checks her watch, 11:47. 

The next doors lead into the children's section where parents and toddlers sit in a semicircle at the back wall, a poorly constructed stage is used to recreate a story with hand puppets. “Save me!” She hears one of the socks yell out, a few children gasp and her steps slow to a stop. A child sitting up close to the stage has brown hair braided down her back in uneven strips. Her giggles stand out from every other childs gasps of horror. Beside her sits an identical little boy, his brown skin shining just like his sisters. 

“Don’t worry,” the little girl whispers into his ear, “the princess has a happy ending.” The boy looks up at her with big doe eyes, his nose sniffling. “I promise,” she says. Then, as if feeling that someone is watching, she turns around and faces Bella from across the wide room. 

They look at each other, the human and the vampire, the child and the woman, the hunted and the hunter. Her, Bella thinks absently, her senses slow to a dull, focused only on the soft thudding of the little girls heart. She is so beautiful. The girl watches her, wide eyes blinking as she takes in the woman staring at her without seeming to notice it. Then, she raises a dark palm, waving it at the woman.

Bellas senses surge back into her, noises and colours and scents slam into her like a wall and she almost feels the need to take a steadying breath. The girl continues to wave, her little brother looking over his shoulder to see who she’s looking at. 

Walking quickly and a little dazed, Bella makes her way to the staircase and closes the door behind her. She takes a deep, unnecessary breath which does nothing more than fill her lungs. Her chest sits hollow, no movement unless she forces it and no beating of a heart. She wonders idly what would happen if she was opened up, would they find her heart still intact? Did the venom solidify it like the rest of her or is it just simply gone? 

“Isabella!” It’s Nancy, she’s at the top of the stairs holding a book to her chest. She’s an older woman, maybe sixty five, with beautiful grey hair cut into a sleek bob at her shoulders. “I’m so glad you’re here, and looking stylish as always!” Bella just nods with what she hopes is a warm smile, she had heard and smelt Nancy above before she heard her but still widens her eyes to make it seem surprising. 

Coming from anybody else, calling Bella “stylish” for wearing sweatpants would have been sarcastic. Maybe a joke about how she always looks beautiful. But not from Nancy. Nancy is too kind, she likely has never said a poor word to anybody. 

“Thank you,” Bella responds. Taking the stairs up, Nancy has already started talking again. Bella's mind has a difficult time abandoning the little girl in front of the stage. The girl's heartbeat thuds in her ears, carrying through the thick metal door and up the stairs. She isn’t sure if she can still hear it or if her mind is just playing it back on a loop.

“All the ladies are already here, you’re the last to join us.” She continues to talk about who is here and who can’t make it. Someone brought lemon squares and someone else had snuck in orange juice and a bottle of champagne for mimosas. It’s a wonder the book club hasn’t been kicked out of the library permanently, it seems every month they are receiving another infraction for bringing in food and drinks. 

The book club meets once a month to discuss the book they were supposed to read, this week it’s Pride and Prejudice. The room they reserve is tucked into the back left corner of the library, the carpet is dingy and the walls that were once white are closer to yellow. Bella loves this room.

The ladies are all already sitting in a semicircle, a low table in the center is covered in treats and large glasses filled with a sweet smelling drink. A large bottle of champagne sits next to it. “Isabella!” A few of them call out as she enters the room with Nancy. She greets them happily, smiling widely.

“Alright, so this month we read Pride and Prejudice!” A few women whoop at that, giggling and whispering amongst each other. “Now, now,” Dhruvi chastises lightly. She’s the club leader, she makes sure the discussion doesn't get carried away. “Who wants to share their first reactions to Mr.Darcy?” Bella's mind runs faster than any computer, her words and actions are usually well thought through before she reacts, which is why she takes herself off guard when she responds so quickly. She hadn’t even known she had something to add. “I think he was acting a little cruel.” Bella’s voice says without her knowing. All eyes are immediately on her, apparently none of them agreed because their eyes are wide as saucers.

“How could you say that?” A woman pipes up, her bushy eyebrows knitted atop her wrinkled forehead. “He loves Elizabeth.”

“Yeah,” Bella says slowly, her mind whirring but not producing anything. “But that doesn’t mean he can treat her like he doesn’t care for her. He should have been open with his feelings at the start, not play stupid mind games with her.”

The room is quiet, the air dripping in what can only be suppressed judgement and mild concern from the old women. Bella notices this, takes a few looks around the circle and swallows her pride. “I’m sorry,” she enunciates, each syllable crisp with her obvious discomfort. “I guess I’m just projecting my life onto the story.”

“Is it your husband, dear?” It’s Nancy, sitting three women down from her and giving her a soft smile. Her skin is wrinkled, her eyes creasing in a motherly way. Bella’s vocal cords refuse to work, and even if they were functioning she has no idea what to say. None of the women speak and instead watch Bella work the question over in her mind.

Even though Bella could have thought this over in the bare breath of a second, she takes a minute to truly think it over. Was it her husband? Edward who loved her, who she loved? They had a child together, they were both immortal. She served up her human life on a platter and asked him to throw it away. No, it wasn’t her husband. Their relationship was perfect, picturesque, the happy ending everybody always knew they would get.

“My wife,” starts Dhruvi with a heavy sigh, “does this to me sometimes, too.” Bella had met Dhruvi’s wife before, she was a kind woman with long black hair streaked with silver, her skin a nearly identical shade of brown to Dhruvi. “She will go days treating me like a guest in our home, not holding my hand or kissing me. We will eat breakfast at opposite ends of the table and make small talk. The entire time I think, ‘did I do something wrong? Has she abandoned her feelings for me?’ But, no.” She leans over onto her knees and the scent of her floral perfume fills Bella’s head. “The next night she will cook me dinner and kiss me and tell me I’m beautiful. And, yes that is nice but it is also sad like you said-” Bella never said that what Darcy did was sad, but in her head she can see now that that word fits into her sentiment perfectly. “- because for a moment I questioned my wife’s love for me and that is very painful.” 

The room nods and murmurs in agreement, Nancy giving Bella a sad, pitying look the entire time. “I- I’m sorry about your wife not always being open about her feelings,” Bella starts, feeling like she’s being forced into giving confession. “But that’s not my Edward.” 

“Not mine either,” Nancy says quickly. “But when we met that was him. He was my Darcy in the way you described him. I love Patt now but at the time he would take me out on a date only to show up for class the next day with some new broad.” She shrugs her shoulders, “and that was cruel. He played mind games with me.” The grey haired woman doesn’t seem upset by this, instead she seems content with it. Stating it with a resigned indifference. 

“But you’ve got him now!” A woman exclaims and that sends the room into an uproar of laughter. Bella’s is noticeably absent from the mixture. 

The group finishes their discussion about the book in just over an hour, a few women sneak snacks into their purses as they depart, giggly from all the champagne. Bella packages her novel into her bag and puts it over her shoulder. Dhruvi stands at the door, with a styrofoam plate of lemon squares, only three left. 

“Isabella, I’m sorry about your experiences with this month's novel.” She says it kindly, but also as if she’s digging for more information. Trying to reopen the discussion from earlier. 

“No, I enjoyed the book, really. It was quite romantic.” The words rush out of Bella, the last thing she wants to do is start this conversation all over again. Dhruvi laughs off her comment.

“I’m considering hosting dinner at my home, I will be inviting a few of the women from this group and a few others you don’t know.” Bella’s silent heart has jumped into her throat. “Would you be interested in joining us?” What does she say? That she will go but won’t eat a single damn thing? Oh, sorry, I ate just before getting to your house for this prescheduled dinner. How awful is that, there is no way that she can go. 

“I don’t think I’ll be available that day.”

“I didn’t mention the date,” the older woman says slowly, eyelids leveling down over her pupils as if searching for something in Bella. The vampire has no response to this. “Bring your husband,” she says finally, “I would like to meet him.” 

[daymansbingerecapsandrankings]

(Originally written on October 8, 2020)

🎵Bang, Bang Bangedy Bang

I said a Bang Bang Bangedy Bang🎵

My How I Met Your Mother Thoughts

I just spent the last nine seasons in New York with the gang that spends all their time in MacLaren’s Pub. SELF FIVE! I have to say, this binge of How I Met Your Mother brought me so much happiness. I started watching this show for the first time back in high school, and I ended up watching the last six seasons as they aired. I remember loving this group of characters, and now I am reminded why. There’s so much chemistry between the five, and it makes for one of my favorite Comedies/Sitcoms of all time. If you’ve read any of my previous Show Thoughts, then you know I’ve been watching several over the course of this lovely Pandemic That Will Just Keep Going. After this rewatch, I’ve decided HIMYM is my third favorite Comedy/Sitcom, right after Boy Meets World and Scrubs.

Now, I know that the Finale is infamous. It’s in the Mount Rushmore of Terrible Endings, and people end up getting a sour taste in their mouth when they bring up the show. Well, it’s been some years. There’s been time to reflect and look back. And, while I’m not in favor of the Finale, I also don’t hate it anymore with the passion of a thousand suns. I just loved watching and growing with the gang, seeing them experience their highs and their lows, their triumphs and their failures. It just hits harder as an adult, like most of these shows assuredly do, and I cherish so many of these episodes and moments.

And now, my rankings for the seasons!

Seasons Rankings

1. Season One

2. Season Four

3. Season Two

4. Season Six

5. Season Eight

6. Season Five

7. Season Three

8. Season Seven

9. Season Nine

My rankings for the girlfriends, purely on how much I like them as a character

The Girlfriends Rankings

1. Robin

2. Tracy

3. Victoria

4. Zoey

5. Stella

6. Jeannette

And now, a ranking of my favorite episodes. From 1-50, these are the ones that stand out above the rest. I consider every single one of these enjoyable.

Favorite Episodes

1. Slap Bet (S2E9)

2. Come On (S1E22)

3. The Limo (S1E11)

4. The Best Burger in New York (S4E2)

5. Ten Sessions (S3E13)

6. The Pineapple Incident (S1E10)

7. Bachelor Party (S2E19)

8. Game Night (S1E15)

9. Oh, Honey (S6E15)

10. Glitter (S6E9)

11. The Duel (S1E8)

12. The Pilot (S1E1)

13. Arriverdverci, Fierro (S2E17)

14. The Over-Correction (S8E10)

15. How Your Mother Met Me (S916)

16. Intervention (S4E4)

17. The Magician’s Code, Part II (S7E24)

18. The Autumn of Break-Ups (S8E5)

19. The Ducky Tie (S7E3)

20. The Best Man (S7E1)

21. The Leap (S4E24)

22. Blitzgiving (S6E10)

23. Three Days of Snow (S4E13)

24. The Scorpion & The Toad (S2E2)

25. Bass Player Wanted (S9E13)

26. The Final Page, Part 2 (S8E12)

27. Duel Citizenship (S5E5)

28. Happily Ever After (S4E6)

29. Farhampton (S8E1)

30. Bro Mitzvah (S8E22)

31. Robin 101 (S5E3)

32. The Magician’s Code, Part I (S7E23)

33. Last Words (S6E14)

34. The Playbook (S5E8)

35. The Time Travelers (S8E20)

36. Splitsville (S8E6)

37. Subway Wars (S6E4)

38. Showdown (S2E20)

39. Drumroll, Please (S1E13)

40. Front Porch (S4E17)

41. Twin Bed (S5E21)

42. Who Wants to be a Godparent? (S8E4)

43. Girls vs. Suits (S5E12)

44. Something Borrowed (S2E21)

45. As Fast As She Can (S4E23)

46. The Wedding Bride (S5E23)

47. The Bracket (S3E14)

48. The Sexless Innkeeper (S5E4)

49. Third Wheel (S3E3)

50. Spoiler Alert (S3E8)

And now, just some thoughts on the show and on the gang!

Ted - I know people don’t like Ted. I don’t actually like Ted all that much. And yet, I found myself rooting for Ted just like I did the first go around. He’s not the worst person in the world, and I would be scared to see half of the decisions we’ve made in the dating game stringed together into a TV show. I know people wouldn’t like me very much for those decisions. Then again, I also don’t get super crazy about details about buildings, I don’t pronounce encyclopedia that way, and he tends to stick his foot in his mouth with this White Man confidence that I just don’t have. With all that being said, I still find Ted being a great friend, a man who is just trying to find the love of his life, and someone who really drives this story with great tales and narration (Bob Saget is the Sixth Man of the Show for just always bringing it). I think Ted does stupid things and he pretty much admits it after the fact. He learns, sometimes, and also doesn’t much like most of us. When he finally found the Mother, when he finally found Tracy, I cared. I cared so much, and I still do. Even though they just shit on her character and don’t give us enough time with her, I almost wonder if that’s a metaphor for the fact that you won’t always have enough time with your loved ones.

Robin - Let’s go to the mall! Yeah! Robin Sparkles is a Canadian Treasure, and so is Robin Scherbatsky. She is one of the best things about this show, and I love her so. Played by Cobie Smulders who I need to see in more stuff, Robin is who we all wanted Ted to maybe be with first. Then we go through all the loops of the HIMYM roller coaster, and a lot of us still wanted them to be together. I was one of them. Yet, she was more than just a romantic plot line for Ted. She was a part of the group who we got to see join it and evolve into a member of their family organically. Robin is fun, loud, full of fun quirks that we get to learn over the course of the series. I was heartbroken when we found out she can’t have children. I was loving the back and forth between her and Barney (the first time), and kind of mad at Barney about being such a crazy ass prankster the second time. Robin shows us just how amazing some gun loving, hockey obsessed Canadian news anchor can be, and how much she cares for her friends.

Lily - Justice Aldrin ends up being one of my favorite characters, even if that gets some curious looks. Yeah, she left Marshall for a summer. Yeah, she had some hesitancy with the marriage and everything. That happens. Lily was also always there for her friends, even if she ends up going a little overboard. She wants Ted to find happiness, and does whatever she can to help. She is there to listen to Robin at all times, and her and Marshall are easily one of the best relationships in TV I’ve ever witnessed. Then we have Lily and Barney which is honestly super underrated. Barney trusts Lily, even though she can’t keep a secret, with all of his emotional problems. Lily is who thought Barney could change before anyone else, and I love seeing their friendship grow from eye rolls to eye tears.

Barney - Oh, Barney. He honestly brings so much annoyance and fun to the show. He’s the friend of the gang who everyone tolerates. He’s the one in the gang who everyone ends up loving just as much as everyone else. Barney shows such a terrible face to the world, sleeping with over 250 women and lying to most of them. He has all these rules that aren’t very ethical. He gives us most of the Misogynism in this show, which is definitely prevalent and makes the show not as strong as it was in the first watch. Still, we get to see Barney grow into someone who wants real love and a happy life. Sure, they show us that his marriage to Robin only lasts three years, but at least they tried. Barney just couldn’t make it work, and that’s honestly who Barney really is. A person who just enjoys sleeping with different people. I was very warmed to see the baby reveal and that Barney becoming a dad was what would change him more than anything. Barney is an underrated friend, and his importance to the gang is legendary.

Marshall - I. Love. Big Fudge. He’s just so fun, caring, goofy, loyal, and everything that I aspire to be in life. For some reason, when watching the show the first time, I related to Ted the most. I was definitely a bit more selfish then. But now, I see that I am a Marshall. He wants to do good in the world, and it drives him so much. He only loves Lily, and his loyalty to their relationship is just Goals. He is also the most fun to watch having a crisis. He gets the big eyes and covers his mouth and just gets obviously super uncomfortable. Some of my favorite moments of the show are also Marshall’s talks with Ted about his feelings for Robin. Any one-on-ones with Marshall and someone else are probably my favorite moments. And yes, I will always root for him over those damn machines!

Last Thoughts:

Sure, the writing wasn’t as sharp or as witty in the later seasons, but I loved the story lines and seeing the gang just live.

Tracy was an amazing character as The Mother, and I truly wonder what could have been if they had given us two full seasons of story with her instead of any episodes of Jeannette.

I really can’t believe Ted told his kids all those stories. A fun premise for a show, but really, not very realistic telling them all that jazz.

Ranjit and Carl are such fun recurring characters that I always enjoyed seeing every time they popped up.

Out of all the recurring jokes and gags, which there are many (y’all said Community has so many, but HIMYM really swings for it), I love the Major/General salute joke. Idk if I just didn’t care for it the first time around or forgot about it, but I just love how silly it is and how they kept it through to the very last episode.

Watching the gang sit at their table in MacLaren’s just hanging out will always make me smile.

[pinkievie]

100 Questions I have about the final season of The 100

1.    What was the point of the time dilation other than to give us Hope’s character?

2.    Why did Dyoza, Octavia and Gabriel keep seeing the spiral image in the last season?

3.    Why did Russell and Jordan also see the spiral images but not Murphy?

4.    What did Murphy see when he was under the toxin?

5.    Is there really a Hell?

6.    What are the spiral images?

7.    Are they a symbol of immortality from the higher beings?

8.    Why was Jordan the only one to have glimpsed transcendence during his psychosis?

9.    Why did Echo and Hope cut their hair?

10.  Was it just a point of personal preference or because it helped them pass as disciples?

11.  Why was Dev, a disciple, happy to help Hope infiltrate Bardo?

12.  Why was Orlando seemingly more religious than Dev?

13.  Why was the Anomaly from Sanctum under water on Skyring?

14.  Why was the underwater Anomaly on Skywring always open?

15.  Why did the temporal flare last season cause Octavia’s arm to age?

16.  How did the Anomaly heal Octavia’s arm?

17.  What was the point of Gabriel, Echo and Hope living on Skyring for 5 years?

18.  How did Sheidheda’s spirit move from Madi to Russell?

19.  Why were none of the other commanders in Russell’s body?

20.  How did Sheidheda die originally?

21.  What happened to Sheidheda to make him so violent and power hungry?

22.  When Bellamy prayed on Etherea, how did he see and speak to Cadogan?

23.  Why did the higher beings show themselves to Bellamy in particular?

24.  After Bellamy prayed, how did the storm pass?

25.  Was it the higher beings that calmed the storm, and why?

26.  What do the eggs hatch into on Etherea?

27.  When did Cadogon make his journey on Etherea?

28.  If Cadogan knew the flame was on Earth, why didn’t he ever go back to find it?

29.  What did Becca see when she was with the higher beings that made her so frightened?

30.  If Cadogan loved Callie so much, why didn’t he go searching for her whilst she was alive?

31.  What is the significance of Niylah telling Echo that her mother was Azgedakru?

32.  Why didn’t Indra kill Sheidheda when she had the chance so he couldn’t be captured and used by the disciples?

33.  Why was Clarke happy to shoot Madi when she found her paralysed?

34.  Why didn’t Clarke, Octavia and Levitt attempt to take Madi away from Bardo to stop any further attempts to harm and use her brain?

35.  Why did Clarke just leave Madi alone, paralysed and defenceless, whilst she went off to get revenge?

36.  Why did the gang decide to cause a distraction so they could infiltrate Bardo and kill Cadogan even though Gaia had already explained that killing Cadogan wouldn’t stop fate, and that another disciple would simply take his place?

37.  How did Sheidheda sneak into the final battle without being seen?

38.  Why didn’t the pier change into something familiar for Clarke after she shot Cadogan, just like how Callie turned into Lexa?

39.  When Clarke failed the test, why didn’t the higher beings wipe out the human race, like, straight away?

40.  If the higher beings judge one member in place of the whole species, and Clarke failed, why did they change their mind by observing the rest of the human race?

41.  Why did the higher beings allow the human race to transcend, when Raven only asked for them to have “more time” to do better?

42.  Who are the higher beings and where did they originate from?

43.  Are the higher beings aliens or gods?

44.  Are the higher beings simultaneously everywhere?

45.  When people transcend, do they also become the higher beings, and are they everywhere?

46.  When people transcend, do they all have one mind?

47.  As part of the higher beings, can the rest of the human race think and feel for themselves?

48.  Can the transcended human race experience love and happiness?

49.  Does the transcended human race have free will?

50.  Do the transcended all have the power and knowledge that the higher beings have?

51.  What do the Bardoans look like?

52.  Why did the Bardoans fail the final test?

53.  What qualities are the higher beings judging during the test?

54.  What aspects does a species have to have in order to transcend?

55.  Why do the higher beings use Gen-9 to crystallize species’?

56.  Why do the higher beings annihilate entire species’, instead of just denying them transcendence and allowing them to live?

57.  What do the higher beings actually want and what is their end goal?

58.  If Earth is green and habitable again, why did everyone travel 75 light years to Sanctum?

59.  Why didn’t everyone just go into cryosleep for 75 years above Earth and wait?

60.  Why didn’t anyone acknowledge that Monty was wrong to believe Earth would never be habitable again?

61.  Why did Clarke shoot Bellamy in the heart?

62.  Why was Emori not shown more clearly in the final scene?

63.  If transcendence is a choice, why didn’t Emori, Levitt and Echo return to their mortally wounded bodies?

64.  Did the higher beings magically heal and revive the three of them just as a favour?

65.  During their time as transcended, did the three of them have that power to mend their bodies?

66.  Why didn’t Emori return from transcendence into her mind drive which was in Murphy’s body?

67.  Did Gabriel and Josephine transcend if their mind drives hadn’t been destroyed?

68.  Would Gabriel have been happy to live forever, considering his motto “death is life”?

69.  Why did the higher beings remove the group’s ability to procreate?

70.  How do the higher beings even have the power to do that?

71.  Is Murphy and Emori really okay with not ever having children, especially as they helped so many children in Sanctum?

72.  Is Indra, Niylah and Miller okay with never seeing the rest of Wonkru again?

73.  Is Raven okay with living her life without finding someone, settling down and having children?

74.  Doesn’t Gaia, Niylah, Miller and Jackson want to have children too?

75.  Is Octavia and Levitt okay with not having children?

76.  Is Jordan and Hope okay with not having children?

77.  What would happen if any of these couples on Earth broke up or fell out of love, as some of them have only known each other for a few months?

78.  Are the people left on Earth not gonna get bored of each other?

79.  Why didn’t they collectively acknowledge that Bellamy was right and that Clarke was wrong to kill him?

80.  Why didn’t they have a memorial or funeral for Bellamy?

81.  If the moral of the show is that “there is more to life than just surviving”, why did the majority of the human race decide to become one with immortal beings?

82.  Why did Madi choose transcendence over being with Picasso and potentially being with her other friends on Sanctum again?

83.  Did Clarke’s friends choose not to transcend just because they didn’t want Clarke to be alone, even though it’s her own fault she couldn’t transcend?

84.  How has Raven still got that orange puffer jacket?

85.  Why was the Anomaly and the higher beings only introduced last season?

86.  Why does transcendence sound a lot like the City of Light?

87.  Why did everyone want to destroy the City of Light when ALIE was trying to convert everyone, but so happy with transcending?

88.  Why did no one acknowledge how similar the higher beings were to ALIE?

89.  Were Clarke’s friends really the only members of the entire human race that wanted to live mortal lives?

90.  Was there no one else in Wonkru, Bardo or Sanctum who wanted their old lives back?

91.  Why did no one stick up for Bellamy?

92.  What was the point of having Bellamy “die”, come back and then to actually die alone and with all his friends hating him?

93.  Why couldn’t Bellamy die protecting his friends, or being a hero?

94.  Can Bellamy’s friends at least acknowledge the sacrifices he made for them?

95.  Why did Clarke realise in Season 6 that she shouldn’t have chosen Madi over Bellamy, asked Bellamy for forgiveness, and then still made the same mistake and chose Madi over Bellamy in Season 7?

96.  Why was everyone so against giving Cadogan the flame, when they didn’t need to fight in the war, and they didn’t believe in transcendence anyway?

97.  Why couldn’t Bellamy have just survived the bullet wound with help from Bardo’s technology, and reunite with his friends in the end as a hero?

98.  Why was Bellamy not even mentioned in the final scene?

99.  Was that final scene overlaid with the scene of Clarke drawing on the floor of her cell from Season 1 a hint that this was all in her imagination?

100. Why is Jason Rothenberg incapable or re-writing an ending to his own show that makes sense, compliments the overarching theme of the series, progresses the characters, AND does not compromise the health and wellbeing of his cast and crew? 🤷‍♀️

[pynkhues]

21, 45, 47 for the be nosy ask game 😬

Ooo, thank you! ❤️

21. Describe your best friend

I have two best friends, and hilariously they are both called Emma H. which makes it very confusing sometimes, haha. Emma 1 is amazingly chill and warm and funny. She's a nurse who works in neo natal intensive care with extremely premature and sick babies. We've known each other since we were 11 years old and we have almost nothing in common, but our friendship has been a constant and deep love for 19 years now, and I treasure it and her forever.

Emma 2 and I met when we worked at a children's clothing store together and we started off just as like, friends who'd party together, haha. We were both at university at the time – I was doing a history degree, she'd just started her law degree – and we fell out of touch for a while after I quit. But! About six months later, a room came up at a sharehouse I was living in, and Emma took it, and we became extremely close.

We ended up moving out together just the two of us (+ my brother who was 14 at the time who I was the on-and-off guardian of), and she's p much the opposite of Emma 1 in that she has 0 chill, hahaha, but she's also gregarious and beautiful and will go to bat for people she loves, and she's seen me at my messiest and I've seen her at her worst, and somehow it made our connection even stronger. She's probably the single most emotionally intimate relationship I've ever had in my life, and she's engaged now and her fiancee asked me for permission before he proposed because he said Emma's the love of his life, but he knows I'm her soul mate, and I still cry thinking about it.

(I gave my blessing obviously, hahaha).

45. What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on?

Hahaha, oh god, um. I've been on a lot of bad dates. I think the worst one though was a guy who was just grossly sexist the whole time? He picked me up from work for the date and told me he expected me to wear a dress and was visibly annoyed I was wearing pants, and when we got to the restaurant, we ordered a share plate, which was enough food for me, but then when he got a main meal as well, asked me if I was one of those girls who don't eat, and then wanted to know what exercise I did and I said yoga and pilates, he said that was good because he liked flexible girls, and then afterwards tried to pressure me to go back to his place. I did not, haha. The whole thing was just uncomfortable and awkward more than anything. I wish I'd left earlier.

47. If you could marry any celebrity, who would you pick?

Oooo, there's a few, but probably Nicole Kidman? I just love her a lot, and I feel like she could take carae of me and also tell me soooooooo many stories, hahaha.

Distract me from rl with these nosy asks!