#she easily keeps him isolated because other angels look at him weird

[creamecream]

"Mine."

[absolutelyfizzing]

angels and demons

warren worthington x reader fluff

@shuckfaced-fangirl Hi! can I request a warren worthington x female mutant reader where her powers are shadow summoning? So I guess everyone in the school kind of views her as some sort of demon? With a lot of fluff? Thank you!!

Description - Y/N is a shadow summoner and is isolated from her peers. Warren helps her see that not everyone fears her and that she is worthy of affection.

warnings - its so fluffy. fem pronouns. some angsty stuff (isolation, depression, sadness), one innuendo, devastating fluff, warren being an angel. i tried to make it POC inclusive, please let me know if it feels restricting or excluding and i will edit it.

word count - 3700, i got carried away

A/N - im so sorry this took so long, i took a break from writing while i am working on moving to college. i will still be spotty for the next few weeks but hopefully, i will post a few more things in that time and then get back on a normal schedule. also, thanks so much for this request, i had a lot of fun writing it and i hope it is something you enjoy reading!

MASTERLIST

You walked through the halls with a lowered head. You knew that you made others uncomfortable and so you chose to try to make yourself as small and unthreatening as possible. You had been 'gifted' powers with which you could manipulate and create darkness. You were a shadow summoner. That wasn't a name that many found reassuring or comforting.

There were a few who could see past it and who was close to being what you might call friends but those people were few and far between. There were overwhelmingly more people who believed that you must have been a scary and mean person, that you were some sort of demon. This couldn't have been further from the truth if one were to look past appearances. Your shadow was larger and darker than that of your peers and it trailed behind you with a mind of its own, moving and growing without you even meaning for it to happen. Your hands were constantly covered in something darker and dustier than the rest of your skin, a deep and pure black. It trailed from the tips of your fingers and faded on your forearm so it looked as though you had just dipped your arms into a chimney or that shadows were crawling up your arms.

When you first got them, you thought they were sort of cool. They made you look sort of goth and that was fun. That feeling quickly faded when you saw how others, even your family, reacted. They said it was a curse from hell. You were barely convinced otherwise.

You sat away from others at the school during free periods. During lunch you sat alone and in the sun when you could, you hoped it might make others be less scared of you as it might make you look brighter but your shadow, dark and ominous, maintained a spot near you. You wore clothes that made you look more approachable to try to maintain that you weren't scary. Your brightly colored outfit didn't ever seem to work though, no matter how hard you tried.

You looked down at the food in your hands, the sandwich only half-eaten, and you noted your hands. They were so normal looking, your nails were well kept and you thought they were a good size. That they might even be a good size for someone to hold. The only thing was the unnaturally colored dust that seemed to cover them. It was a cool black, it glistened and sparkled in the sun when your fingers moved. It never moved or transferred to anything else, always stuck securely to your skin. You were distracted by the way your fingers seemed to shine when a shadow came near yours, wings outlined in it. You looked up to see a tall blond boy above you with curly hair and bags under his eyes. He nodded to a spot on the grass near you.

"Do you mind if I sit here?"

You shook your head and even scooted away from the spot to give him more space despite the fact that you were in a large field.

"Do you want me to move?" You asked gently, wondering if maybe he wanted this particular spot and you took it from him unknowingly.

"I mean, I think that would sort of take away the whole point of me trying to sit with you." He smirked and you felt blood rush to your cheeks. "I like your hands" He hummed and you looked at him in shock. When his eyes met yours you tilted your head a bit.

"They don't bother you?" You tried to speak softly.

"No, I think they're awesome. They make you look punk." He smiled and you felt the corners of your mouth tug up a bit too.

"I like your wings." You almost mumbled as you allowed your gaze to move to the large feathery wings behind him. They moved in the wind and you found yourself wanting to run your fingers through them. "They make you look like an angel." You smiled and he groaned dramatically.

"I'm trying to look grunge." He pouted and you giggled a bit. At the sound, he looked up at you and blushed a bit. "Maybe we should trade."

"If I could trade you I would. Everyone is scared of how I look." You gazed back at the grass.

"I'm not." His simple statement made butterflies erupt in your stomach and you smiled a bit. You looked back at him and made eye contact for a moment.

"What's your name?" You asked and he maintained his gaze into your eyes. It was the most contact or conversation with someone else you'd had in a long time.

"I'm Warren." He smiled a bit and stuck a hand out to you to shake. You looked at his hand in shock. Nobody ever voluntarily touched your hands. Most of them worried that whatever was on them would spread. You hesitantly brought your hand to his, purposefully giving him plenty of time to remove his hand if he felt uncomfortable. But he didn't. Instead, your hand reached his and he shook it before letting go as if it was no big deal.

"I'm Y/N." You smiled a bit more and you felt a giggle come out of you from the joy of realizing this wasn't a dream, that someone was trying to talk to you and they weren't afraid.

"Is my name that funny?" He teased.

"No, I just-" you paused to think, "it's been so long since anyone has done this with me."

"Talked to you?" He questioned, obviously expecting you to say no and explain what you meant. Instead, you just nodded and his heart clenched for a moment. "Well, you can stick with me then."

"I don't know if you want your reputation to take a hit like that."

"My reputation is 'the angry and damaged kid', I'm sure it can handle the breaking news of me talking to a nice and pretty girl." He reassured before he even realized what he was saying. You could have cried at the feeling that rose up in your chest.

After that day, you stuck to his side like glue and he took no issue with it. The more you got to know him the more you appreciated the fact that he had taken you in. With his help, over the coming months, he helped you develop a stable friend group. That group included people like Ororo and Jane who had heard rumors about you and never bothered to check and see if they were real. They apologized profusely, especially Jean as she felt like she could have easily found out that you were kinder than she thought with her abilities but just had never done so, and you gladly accepted, just happy to be within a group.

You and Warren had developed a reputation. He was overly protective and gruff while you were overly nice and empathetic. You balanced each other well and if you were honest, you were in love with him. That always felt weird to say, you'd never been in love with anyone before but every second you spent with him made you more and more sure of your feelings.  

When you and Warren were together, you would daydream about what it would be like to be in a relationship with him. Being held by him and wrapped in his wings. Getting to play with his unkempt hair. Holding his hand.

Sometimes he would try to encourage you to hold his hand. He would hold it out to you when he was helping you jump down from somewhere high. He would ask you to hand him things and then make decisive contact as he took it from you. He knew that it meant a lot to you, you practically gasped and blushed every time he did it. He had never met anyone so touch starved. He wanted to give you all the affection that you craved.

Unfortunately, Warren was rather oblivious, especially towards things like feelings and emotions. He had no clue that you had any interest in him, even though he hoped you did every day. If he wasn't so attached to your friendship, he might ask you out. Instead, he tried to maintain a friendly distance so he didn't cross any lines while also being as affectionate with you as he could be. You followed a similar path.

The person caught in the middle of this was poor Jean Gray. she had watched you pine over each other since you met and had heard every thought that went through both of your heads. She knew you would never complain or ask for help about anything so she liked to keep tabs on your thoughts every once in a while to make sure you were okay. Still, she tried her best to not listen very often or when you were thinking about anything very personal, she honestly did. But she was a romantic. All she wanted was for you two idiots to get together but you were both oblivious. She decided, probably 3 months into you becoming friends, that she had to do something about it.

She was sitting on your bed while you sat across your bedroom on your small couch. She fiddled with her thumbs while she tried to ignore your constant thoughts about Warren, his hands, his wings, his smile. She was exhausted. she took a small breath while she planned how she would try to say this to you.

"Do you want to know what I heard today?" She called and you looked up at her from the book you were pretending to read.

"Do you mean heard or 'heard'?" You laughed and she rolled her eyes.

"Either." Then she tilted her head. "Both."

"Yeah, I wanna know! What's it about?" You asked while leaning forward in your seat. Jean always had the best gossip to tell because she could literally hear it.

"Warren." She stated simply and watched your reaction. You flushed and stopped breathing for a moment.

"Wha-" you stuttered, "what about him?"

"That he has a thing for you." she winked and you flushed even more.

"You're lying." You assured, a questioning look on your face.

"I'm not and I'm tired of watching you two longing after one another while the rest of the school watches." She smiled and your heart picked up.

"I thought I told you not to look in my head!" You scolded but you weren't actually all that upset. You knew that it was very hard for her to control.

"I cant help it! Both of you think so loud. And I wouldn't have to anyway, Ororo mentioned it to me the other day and she definitely cants read minds." She giggled and you smiled a bit.

"Does he actually like me?" You almost whispered in disbelief.

"Yes! He's been obsessed with you since you started talking."

"But like he would want to actually go-"

"Y/N, I swear to god. If you don't go and talk to him right now I'm going to have a fit." She laughed and you glared at her.

"Okay okay fine, I'm going," you grumbled as you stood and walked toward your door. "If you are wrong I'm gonna be so upset with you."

She just laughed again and you started to walk down the hallway. You thought he might be in his room or outside. You decided to check his room first.

You knocked on his door but you were met with silence. You tried the handle and it moved.

"Warren?" you paused, "I'm coming in," you warned and pushed the door open. When you looked inside, he wasn't there. You took a moment to gaze around his room, it wasn't the first time you had been in there but every time was a bit exciting as you got to see all of the things he had that represented him. He had a boombox and a CD collection on his dresser. Some of his clothes were thrown around his room haphazardly and some of his drawers were open. You looked at the wall next to you where he kept photos that you took. You would carry around a camera or take pictures on your phone of everyone around campus. He always asked for them and then printed them out so he could hang them up. He had even managed to get a couple of you. You smiled a bit before heading back into the hallway, closing the door behind you.

You instead moved towards the door to get out onto the lawn where you thought he would probably be. He often sat under the big oak trees or on the roof if he wanted to get away from people. When you made it outside, you looked around for him.

"Y/N!" you heard him shout. You turned to look for him and saw his silhouette flying from the roof. You paused to admire him and his wings. He always looked so angelic to you. So powerful. You thought about how your power emanated darkness. That you would never appear angelic to someone and would more likely look like a demon. You looked down at your hands for a second, a habit you had when you were thinking about your powers. They sparkled a bit in the sun but it did little to quell the distaste in your mouth.

Suddenly there was a shadow in front of you that was not part of the darkness that surrounded you.

"Y/N?" he asked gently. "Are you okay?" he tried not to startle you. Being empathetic wasn't something that came naturally to him, but he tried extra hard around you. he noticed the way you were staring at your hands. The growth of your shadow as you thought about your powers more. He moved to touch one of your hands but you flinched back a bit. He brought his hand back and looked at you with concern. "Whats wrong, angel?" He asked lightly and you looked up at the pet name. He had started calling you that soon after you became friends. You thought it was out of irony but he really was convinced that you were some sort of angel. He also loved the way that your eyes would light up when he said it. You stared at him for a moment in silence.

"Do I scare you?" You asked quietly and your voice shook. He looked surprised by your question and you were surprised too. You didn't know why you were suddenly getting emotional. Why this was now all you could think about. Why it had to come up now when you were trying to express your feelings for him. Instead of responding he reached out to your hand, holding onto it when you let him, despite flinching away slightly. He started to walk, leading you toward the same tree you had met under. Once you both reached it he sat down and looked up at you, waiting for you to sit down too. You did, maybe a bit farther away from him than you needed to be.

"Do you think you scare me?" he asked genuinely and you took a second to think, looking back down at your hands which were now pulled back into your lap.

"I scare me," you stated simply and paused.

"That's not what I asked."

"I don't know." You mumbled. "I think I freak everyone out. Including you I guess." Your voice was quieter than you meant it to be. you really hadn't thought about it in a little while. It had been on your mind plenty when you first started talking to him. You were extra conscious of not pushing him to be around you or near your shadow. You knew that he would move away if he needed to but you also had so many memories of everyone around you fearing you, running from you, telling you that you were a curse. Instead of responding he held his hand out in between the two of you, palm up. You knew that he was inviting you to take it but that he wouldn't push you to. Instead of taking it, you placed your hand near his on the ground and he left his next to yours, not trying to take it if you didn't want him to.

"You don't." He let out, sounding sure of himself and slightly pained. "You don't scare me." You looked at each other. He had tears in his eyes. He was never one to get emotional so you were surprised. "Do I scare you?" he questioned, already knowing your answer but trying to prove a point.

"Of course not." You sighed.

"You have a lot more reason to be afraid of me than I have to be afraid of you." he looked at your hand again. "I'm the one who has a rough history, I'm the one who is angry and has a reputation of being aggressive."

"But, Warren, your mutation is-"

"Mutation has nothing to do with it, Y/N." he sighed. "You have control over your abilities, I have control over mine. The only difference between us is our personalities and I have never had any reason to fear you or dislike you. You're the kindest person I know and everyone in your life who has let you think that there was something wrong with you was terrible. And that was on them."

Your hand reached for his and you laced your fingers together. He squeezed your hand and ran his thumb over the back of it.

"I love you." The words came out of your mouth faster than you could think and you sucked in a breath, almost hoping he didn't hear you. When you glanced up at him he had a gentle smile on his face. He brought the back of your hand up to his face and kissed it before placing it against his cheek.

"I love you too, Y/N" He reached out for your waist and pulled you toward his lap, giving you plenty of time to give him a sign that you were uncomfortable. Instead, you put your leg over his waist so you were straddling his thighs. You held one of his hands in between you and fiddled with his fingers, admiring how your hands contrasted with his. Somehow, him holding your hand made it seem less out of place. You almost felt pride.

You were suddenly surrounded by warmth and shadow, the sounds of the quad around you becoming muted. You looked up around you and his wings were wrapped around the two of you, closing you off into your own little world. You felt the urge to reach out to them but you had never asked. You had never seen him let anyone touch them and you didn't want to make him uncomfortable.

"Go ahead." your eyes snapped to his in shock.

"Warren, you never let any-"

"I want you to," he admitted and it was true. He had thought many times about asking you to run your fingers through his wings. He would never complain about it but they were a little high maintenance and also sensitive. He never let anyone touch them because most people weren't gentle or he didn't trust them. He knew though that you were the gentlest person on Earth and that he could count on you to be careful.

At his reassurance, you smiled a bit. You reached a hand out to the part of his wing next to his shoulder. You both gasped a bit when your fingers made contact. Warren was a bit surprised at how sensitive they were to your touch and it had been a long time since anyone but himself had touched them. You were entranced by how soft they were. The feathers were delicate and there were so many. You were very careful in how you moved your hand along his wing, looking at him often to see if he was uncomfortable. As you were carding your fingers through his feathers, one came out. You gasped slightly horrified that you had hurt him.

"Hey, it's okay!" he rushed out as he saw your panic. "They just sort of... shed sometimes." He almost seemed embarrassed. Feathers would come off occasionally and he would often have to brush through them himself to release all of the loose feathers, sort of like brushing your hair. He reached to pick up the feather and held it in front of you for you to take. You gladly did and you twirled it in your fingers. "Maybe sometime, if you wouldn't mind, of course, you could help me brush through them?" he asked quietly and you smiled.

"Yeah of course. They seem like they might be a lot of work." you were touched that he trusted you to do that and you thought about how hard it must be to take care of them by himself when they were so big and most of his wings were behind him.

"You should see what it's like to shower with them," he grumbled and then his eyes widened at what he had said. He hadn't meant it to be an innuendo but now he was worried he offended you. Instead, he looked into your eyes and you fell into a fit of giggles.

"I might have to take you up on that offer." Your gentle gaze made him blush. He had never felt this comfortable with anyone. This safe. He decided right then that he would do anything you ever asked of him.

After that day, you and Warren became the cutest couple at the school. You were opposites in multiple ways and your relationship was more wholesome than any of your friends could handle. You got more confident in yourself and your abilities and he allowed himself to be more vulnerable. everyone agreed that you were a match made in heaven.

[oh-boy-me]

Alright I'm curious about your take on movie night with the undateables, including Luke since this is non- romance. Snack preferences, what movies they choose, funny stories from movie night. Whatever strikes your fancy with the idea is good with me. Thanks in advance!

Sorry it took a little bit (´ω｀。) It’s my first time working with these characters so I wanted to give it my absolute best

I’m setting this up as individual movie nights so that each character can get the spotlight for a while; I hope that’s ok!  Also, a lot of them somehow ended up in a context of it being the first time you’d hung out one on one lol

Simeon:

It feels like Simeon spends just about all of his time with Luke and Solomon, while you spend just about all of yours with the brothers.  So, you decide to have a movie night to finally spend some time together without having to divide your attention.  Purgatory Hall is the obvious choice of location, since its residents are much more ready to leave you alone when asked.

This angel is a traditional kind of guy, as angels tend to be, so popcorn is the only snack idea that comes to mind.  Traditional doesn’t mean close-minded, though, so he’s more than willing to try out any snacks you bring along.  Actually, he encourages you to bring a bunch of snacks to try out together!  You can have a taste test while you watch the movies!

Simeon likes Hallmark movie-type movies a lot, mainly because they demand little emotional investment.  Movies like horror don’t scare him, but they do stress him out because he wants all the protagonists to get their happy ending!  Another benefit of Hallmark movies is that it’s fun to try to guess exactly what will happen, since they can be so predictable.

Of course, he doesn’t want to monopolize your movie lineup, so if there’s something you want to see he’s all for it.  If you want to go for something more thrilling, he’ll power through it like a champ, but you can see him visibly cringing at some points.

Simeon is lowkey a movie cuddler, but like in a way that still respects your personal space bubble.  He won’t spend the film with you in his arms or anything, but the entire couch is fair game.

Simeon apparently likes to talk during movies–he doesn’t mean to, but the thoughts kind of just come out.  He’s brutally honest about what he’s thinking, so if you’re down with it, talking about and roasting the movie as it’s happening is a load of fun.  “I don’t know MC, I don’t think this guy’s all that great either?  Sure maybe he isn’t completely ignoring her, but look, he obviously has commitment issues; at least her ex was just busy all the time.  Look, Mr. Lone Wolf’s beard is uneven.  Why does she want a man who wants to look rugged but can’t get it right?”

Simeon also will accidentally spoil any movie he’s already seen like this, so you’re best off watching films that are new to both of you.

He knew that you were a nice and fun person, but honestly he’s kind of taken aback by how good you are to be around.  Since the only human he’s usually around is Solomon, talking to one and not feeling like you need to second-guess everything you’re told is a new and welcome feeling.

Before you split for the night, he asks if you’d like to do something like this again.  As an angel, there’s a lot that he hasn’t experienced–a lot of food, a lot of activities, a lot of media–and you’re someone that he feels like he would be comfortable trying new things with.  You can expect lots of texts like, “Hello!  I hope you’re doing wellヾ(＾-＾)ノ Are you free tomorrow?”

Luke:

You probably decide to have a movie night after Luke ends up spending way longer than he expected to in the kitchen at the House of Lamentation.  On the condition that absolutely no demons are to join you two!  Ok maybe Beel and Levi are ok but absolutely no one else!  After a call to Simeon explaining that he isn’t coming back to Purgatory Hall tonight you guys are good to go.

He always brings baked goods when he comes over, plus whatever he was working on in the kitchen, so you’re more than covered!  The majority of it is things like cookies and fudge bark.  They’re easy snacks to grab a handful of.

Luke tries to insist that he wants to watch a movie with lots of violence or a horror film, or any other kind of movie that teenagers sneak into.  He’s doing it because he’s so frustrated with everyone calling him a kid when he’s centuries older than a human will ever be, stop making fun of him!!  For his sake and yours, you should tell him that you don’t want to watch that sort of movie, because if you let him get away with it he’ll get too freaked out in the first 20 minutes.

Most likely you’ll end up having a Disney marathon.  They’re so fun, and since the Celestial Realm is pretty isolated when it comes to cultural exchange, he’s only seen a couple, so you can show him your favorites!  Also, he’s not crying.  No, you saw that wrong.

He starts off on the other side of the couch, one again trying to be mature and shit, but that won’t last long.  Anyone who sees you huddled together like that will be punched in the gut with the sheer level of sibling energy y’all are radiating.  Lucifer almost doesn’t want to mock him.  Almost.

That thing where immediately after consuming a piece of media, you imagine yourself as part of that universe?  Luke loves to talk about that sort of thing.  “If I lived there, I’d have given Gaston a piece of my mind!”  “Ok but if I was a piece of furniture what do you think I’d be?  I can totally see you being a…”

“I think you’d be the footstool that acts like a dog, Luke.”  “Hey, Lucifer, you weren’t invited to our party!!”

You might (will) have to fend off a few nosy demon brothers to protect your demon-free movie lair.  Luke swears that next time you have to come over to Purgatory Hall, but he’s having way more fun here than he’s willing to admit.

He also learns that most of the brothers will listen to you without complaint.  He will definitely keep this in mind.

This kid angel has so much energy, how is he still awake after five movies?  You absolutely have to establish a bedtime because he literally will not go to bed until you do.

Solomon:

It’s quite rare for you to have a break from the seven avatars of attention hogging, so if you’re going to have a movie night, Purgatory Hall may as well be a godsend.

You may want to be careful about getting there, because if Asmo catches wind that you and Solomon are having a movie night without him, he’s going to show up unannounced and then refuse to leave.  Solomon can come pick you up if you need.  Just, he’ll be waiting a block away so Asmo can’t catch up.

Solomon is a “dinner and a show” kinda guy.  He will offer to make dinner.  Do not let him do this.  Either make it yourself or order takeout.

You’ll pretty easily agree on alternating who chooses the movie.  You get the first, he gets the second, you get the third, etc.  Definitely isn’t letting you choose first to lure you into a false sense of security about the DVD in his hand, what made you think that?

Solomon is the kind of person to lie about what sort of movie he’s put in.  “Solomon what is this supposed to be?”  “Oh, don’t worry about it.”  It’s gonna be a weird movie.  You just have to wait and see.

He is going to rip into your movie choices.  He liked how they worked with this, and that was impressive, but these bits?  Did they think they could get away with that?  What was the budget?  Rest assured, though, he expects you to do the same for him.  In fact, he’ll be quite disappointed if you don’t.

He prefers a setup on his bed rather than on the couch.  He’s also one of the ones who keeps to himself in terms of personal space, although that’s not to say that he isn’t relaxed.  Some might say he’s too relaxed, but that’s just who he is: too relaxed in any situation.  On the surface, at least.

As the only humans in the Devildom, some of the night is probably spent reminiscing on how different things tend to be here.  Solomon does feel bad that you in particular have had to make so many changes to your life and habits with no warning.  He has his magic to rely on, so he’s glad you have your reputation of “the human that made a pact with the student council” to keep demons from messing with you.

If you want, he’s happy to let you sleep over so that you don’t have to explain why you’re coming home so late.  He also encourages you to not say anything to your dorm mates.  Wouldn’t it be fun to make them wonder?  They’re always breathing down your neck, aren’t they?  Make them squirm a little bit.  You’re going to get a scolding for sneaking out regardless.  It’s incredibly cruel; you know they worry sick about you more than is called for.  Will you play along?  That’s up to you.  I advise you not to.

Like Simeon felt like he needed to second-guess everything around a bunch of demons and Solomon, Solomon sometimes feels like he needs to keep himself guarded around a bunch of demons and two literal angels.  You, however, are a human.  You have common ground, and Solomon can see how your vulnerability here translates into strength.  He’s not quite ready to admit it but, your ability to survive on character and not power is inspiring to him.  Shortly before you go home/to sleep, he mentions something about himself, and for once it seems like he’s being honest.

Barbatos:

You have the movie night at the House of Lamentation, under Lucifer’s promise that he’d keep everyone else busy.  It’s Barbatos’ first day off in 325 years, and he doesn’t want to take any chances of Diavolo forgetting that fact and giving him an order.

It may come as a surprise, but Barbatos wants nothing more than to order a pizza.  If he managed to get enough time off to have a movie night with you, he doesn’t want to have to think about preparing food.  A single night where he can just hang out and eat less than perfectly prepared cuisine is exactly what he needs to unwind.

Out of habit, he insists that whatever you want to watch is fine.  If you remind him that this is just as much for him as it is for you, he’ll suggest you look up what new psychological thrillers are trending.  Whenever a scary scene is playing on the screen, there’s the tiniest smile gracing his face the whole time.  It’s a little disconcerting, but something tells you that you shouldn’t bring it up.

If you do bring it up against all better judgement, though, he’ll explain that the villain in the film is being so messy.  Given the circumstances, it’d be better for him to do this or that.

“Don’t ask how I know all of this.  I’m just saying, if you find yourself with a body to dispose of, alive or not, you know who to call.”

Time spent with an off-duty Barbatos grows more relaxed as the night progresses.  You split the sofa 50/50, and over time you can see his posture relax from stiff and straight to leaning against the arm with his feet up.

Oh, yes, he’s also brought along a nice bottle of wine to share.  He made sure to get something that should affect demons and humans equally, of course.  If he’s going to get inebriated, you’re going down with him.

Turns out, working for the Demon Prince for all eternity gives you a few grievances.  Also turns out that the Demon Prince’s butler becomes quite loose lipped and downright snarky when he’s had enough to drink.  “‘Which flavor do you think Lucifer would like best?’  I don’t know, My Lord, might I suggest you ask him yourself?  No, no, I hear you laughing, MC!  This happens every time!”

There’s still a movie playing, but why would you watch a movie when Diavolo’s butler is such a gossip?  You definitely know things you shouldn’t by the time the night is over, but you swear an oath of secrecy.  And, although he regrets how liberal he was with his stories the next day, it does feel nice to have some of that off his chest.

And, well, he’s already gone this far, so he hopes you aren’t too surprised when you receive a text from him a week later: “Ok SO.”

Diavolo:

You guys decide to do the movie night at the palace, mainly to avoid Lucifer.  Diavolo wants to get to know you better, and he knows that if Lucifer is around he’ll end up making you the third-wheel.

Barbatos is going to be around, so Diavolo leaves it up to you whether you want to make it a party of three.  (Barbatos is still in on-duty mode, of course, so his time here is much less relaxed than in his solo scenario.)

Diavolo’s read about movie nights in Youthful Fun 101, and he wants to try out the whole snack list.  Popcorn, pizza rolls, sodas, you name it, he’s got mountains of it.

If you suggest also making ice cream sundaes, he’ll be the happiest demon in the entire Devildom.  It seems that the esteemed Demon Prince really loves chocolate sauce.

Really really wants to watch your favorite movie.  What sort of Devildom host would he be if he didn’t get to understand the Human World from his guest’s perspective?  Whether it’s something like Gone with the Wind or something like Barbie in a Mermaid Tale 2, he’s enthralled.  So this is Human World cinema!  There’s something so imaginative about it, even in the driest moments!

After your favorite, he’s got a checklist of iconic movies to get under his belt.  Not all of them end up holding your attention, and you develop a voting system–after the first 15 minutes, you hold a vote on whether to keep the movie going or to move on.  Since there’s only two of you, only one of you needs to like the movie to keep it going, so you give yourselves one immediate veto each.

Diavolo uses his veto on the first movie he wasn’t super into, and you have to keep reminding him that there’s no secret second veto that he can use.  Cut him some slack, this level of democracy is unfamiliar to the future Demon King.  He does end up really liking some of the movies he tried to avoid, so he learns to chill pretty quickly.

Also insists on watching the movies in a massive blanket fort.  He’s not a movie cuddler, per se, but he is an emotional movie watcher, so you can expect him to grab your arm during an especially sweet or sad scene.

You’re going to have to clarify what’s realistic and what isn’t sometimes.  No, that’s not a real animal.  Yes, that event really happened.  That may or may not be true, we aren’t sure.  Diavolo please this is a conspiracy theory.

If you thought that this wouldn’t end up in a sleepover, I don’t know what to tell you.  Maybe you just tried to watch way too many movies and passed out in the fort.  Maybe you tried to call it quits and then he gave you big puppy dog eyes until you agreed to have a slumber party.

Side note, but Lucifer is still recovering from seeing Diavolo’s car appear unannounced at the House of Lamentation and then being told that it’s actually here to pick you up and that he absolutely can’t come along.  Has he been replaced?

Masterlist

[lewis-winters]

Hi! i really enjoy your daemon au and i-ve gone and watched the new his dark materials series because of it. i love your take on daemons and was wondering if you have nymore headcanons for the other boys? what's luz's daemon? liptons? how do you pick their names? are there any daemons who Re the same sex as their humans? you dont have to rwply if you dont want to i just wanted to tell you i enjoy your world very much!!

Oh, hi! I’m glad you’re watching the new His Dark Materials adaptation! It’s pretty good, huh?

I do have headcanons for not just most of the boys but for the world itself. Though I also call it His Dark Materials!AU alongside daemon!AU it’s actually more the latter than the former. The only things I carried over into this AU from the original world of His Dark Materials are the existence of daemons, the fact that daemons are made of Dust particles, and the existence of witches. The magisterium or any kind of theocracy doesn’t exist. The authority and the angels also do not carry over. Instead, our own religions exist, but there’s just as much emphasis on spiritualism and mysticism as there is on moralism, which I believe would be the natural development of religion in this world where your soul/daemon, the spiritual aspect of you, is literally there for everybody else to see.

All of the boys have small or medium sized daemons, the biggest probably belonging to that of Ron and Tab, who have an Ocelot daemon and a sheepdog daemon respectively. The reason for this being that small or medium sized daemons are easily carried and they, alongside bird or other kinds of flying daemons, are preferred by the airborne. You still gotta jump out of a perfectly good airplane largely undetected. Can’t do that with an elephant daemon. 

Ok. This got real long so I’m putting the rest under the cut. tw: mentions of death, trauma, and mutilation.

Some of the younger boys’ daemons haven’t settled. Miller, Hashey, Garcia, and Jackson. Hashey and Garcia’s settle in Hageneu. Miller and Jackson never get the chance.

Shifty’s daemon, Myrtle, is a Capybara. But he doesn’t know that. Every time somebody asked him what his daemon was, he’d shrug, say ‘Don’t rightly know,’ then leave it at that. What can he do? Capybara’s aren’t native to Virginia and he’s never been out of Virginia. Webster was the one to tell him that Myrtle was a Capybara because he’d read about them in a book somewhere that one time. Myrtle was startled by this and said; “I thought I was some kind of dog!” that was one of the few times she ever spoke out-loud during the whole war.

As I’ve said before in this post, Lew’s daemon is a chameleon named Amalthea. For all of the events of episode 9, Lew kept her in his pocket and that scared almost everybody shitless, because it made it seem like he was walking around without a daemon. The replacements assigned to them around that time, like O’Keefe, thought he didn’t have a soul. He never bothered to correct them because that meant letting Amalthea out, and the idea of her being in the open and vulnerable made him especially ill. He’d rather people thought he was soulless than allow himself and Amalthea to get hurt again. Which is so Lewis.

Skip has a hummingbird daemon named Ilaria, which is a name that means happiness and joy. This daemon-human duo wasn’t hard for me to figure out. It just fits.

Malarkey’s daemon is an artic hare with a summer coat named Felis. She’s settled, but after Foy and after losing Skip and Alex and Buck, she changes again. Subtlely, of course, and not wholely. She stays an artic hare, but instead of a summer coat, she permanently has a winter coat.

It’s not uncommon in this world for your daemon to change after severe trauma. I bet as the field of psychology expands, so does the understanding of trauma’s effects on the soul expand. There’s many studies on the changing of once settled daemons in relation to soldiers’ PTSD.

Buck’s daemon, a male bald eagle named Romulus, changes entirely. Still a bird, but instead of an eagle, he turns into a snowy owl. Before the war, he was a chatty daemon. After, he barely speaks and only does so to Buck and, very rarely, to those close to them.

Eugene Sledge’s male daemon, Daecon goes from a blood hound and gets turned into a Luzon bleeding heart-- which, I know is on the nose but it’s just. It’s such a cool bird, ya’ll. I’ve seen one up-close and ever since that day, I have not known any peace. The shift would be painful and would happen very slowly. It was actually horrific and was a trauma in and of itself. That was the last time they ever changed, though.

I also headcanon that the longer you’ve been settled, the harder and more painful the shift.

Merriell Shelton’s daemon settles in Gloucester. Into what, I’m not sure yet, but a part of me thinks she’s settled into some kind of big cat from the rain forests. Either a cloud leopard or a jaguar. Her name’s Charlotte but he calls her Lottie. Don’t ask me why. It just fits.

That being said, I have some Thoughts about people with big cat daemons. They’re usually aloof. Like, they make a very impactful first impression but they’re mostly solitary individuals who are weird af and difficult to get to know. It takes a really special person to tame a human with a big cat daemon. Once you earn their trust, that’s for life. They’re also really self-assured and are very secure in their sense of self. There is almost little to no tension between big cat daemons and their humans, and if there is, it gets explosive.

Ron Speirs has a big cat daemon, a female Ocelot named Aurele. She never talks, not even to Ron. They have this silent gaze/telepathy going on. Ron also takes on a couple of animalistic traits because of it. They could also... stretch their bond really far? Which is scary as fuck. People think he’s the son of a witch who, in her desperation to make him immortal, made him go through the ritual that allows a witch and her daemon to part for long periods of time and great distances. This is not true. Ron and Aurele just have really high pain tolerance.

Eugene Roe, on the other hand, is the son of a witch. His maman, however, did not make him go through the ritual because he’s not her first son. She knows the pain of outliving her sons well. She loves him all the same but understands that he will die well before her. Eugene’s daemon is a male kinkajou named Louis. Which is both a surprise and also not. For much of the war there’s a lot of tension there. Louis craves connection with others, Roe needs isolation to keep their sanity. It kind of turns into this thing where, if you wanted to comfort Roe or be close to him, you’d have to go through his daemon instead.

Babe’s daemon is a squirrel. A very chatty female russian squirrel named Abigail. They talk to each other a lot, and Abby talks to other people a lot too. Sometimes, she even answers in lieu of Babe. They’re both very blunt and very out there, no hiding with Babe and Abby. It used to get them into a lot of trouble with the nuns at school, who believed that daemons are only meant to be seen and not heard. A+ Catholic repression.

George’s daemon was a little tricky to me. I know his daemon is female and that her name is Thalia. I also know that she can fly. My first thought was: Parrot, either a hyacinth macaw or a white cockatoo. But, I also really like the idea of George having a Butterfly daemon. Particularly one that looks like a leaf when her wings are folded up but is brilliantly jewel toned when she opens them. In the end, I opted for George entering the army, having not settled just yet, and he and Thalia are this kind of double-act, where she shifts into whatever form is necessary for the punchline of the joke. She only settles into a parrot (idk still what kind) after their first jump and all the excitement in Carentan. A gradual thing. They don’t even notice until just before the jump in Holland. When they miss someone, Thalia will mimic that person’s voice. First, it was George’s mama and the voice of her daemon, both speaking in rapid fire portugese. Later on, in Austria, Thalia starts imitating all the friends they’ve lost. Sometimes she’ll sound like Skip. Other times, she’ll sound like Bill. It takes a very long time for her to break this habit. To the point wherein she and George don’t even remember what her real voice sounds like.

Lip’s daemon settled really early and is a female Bonobo named Jane. Has been since he was ten and made man of the house. This, like Skip and Ilaria, was very easy for me to figure out.

Dick’s daemon is a Caracara raptor bird. I’m still figuring out the specifics so she doesn’t have a name yet. Sorry.

As mentioned, Tab has a sheepdog daemon named Marisa who enjoys keeping him and everybody else in check. Have you met a sheepdog? They will literally herd you. It doesn’t matter if you are not a lamb or a sheep. They will nip at your heels until you go where they want to go. That’s Marisa. She’ll nip at Tab’s heels, she’ll nip at everybody else’s heels. If you are going somewhere she does not want you to go she will make sure you know her displeasure. 

It is also super funny when she looks Tab in the eye and goes “Down, boy.” It never fails to make Tab go red and make everybody else laugh. 

Harry’s daemon-- and don’t get mad at me-- but Harry’s daemon is a Scottish Terrier named Saoirse. He carries her around strapped to his chest during jumps. It’s fucking cute. Don’t say that to their faces though because they will lose all respect for you. It’s a daemon suited more to a teacher than it is to a soldier, that’s for sure.

Bill’s daemon is a pit-bull named Darla. Scary looking one, too, with a very bawdy sense of humor. She will growl at you and pretend to bite and you will be very scared but she only does it as a joke. She’s honestly really cool. When Bill and Babe are walking around together, Abby likes to perch on top of Darla’s head. It’s adorable. Sometimes, when Abby gets too much, Darla carries her around in her mouth. It’s still cute. But only to them, everybody else finds it vaguely horrifying.

I know there’s this taboo of humans not touching other humans’ daemons but it’s kinda difficult in such close-quarters like theirs. It is also heavily implied in the original text of Philip Pullman, that the no-touching thing is a cultural thing. Like, I think in religions that deal a lot in repression like Catholicism or Protestantism, the touching of another’s daemon is a no-no and is only reserved for the most intimate of relations (i.e. marriage). But I feel like religions such as Judaism, Wiccan, Paganism, or even some branches of Folk-Catholicism encourage touch/celebrate that connection between two humans. Neither of these two beliefs are wrong, of course. It’s just a cultural thing and they carry with them both pros and cons.

I bet Lieb grew up very used to his daemon being touched by his mother and father or older siblings. It’s not taboo to him, though he recognizes that it’s taboo to others. He doesn’t get it though, and is constantly rolling his eyes every time somebody gasps when they accidentally touch someone’s daemon.

A lot of the boys just kinda ignore the touching daemons thing until they get used to it.

I’m not sure what Lieb’s daemon is or what her name is, too. I know she’s a social kind of daemon-- not solitary like a big cat or a reptile (like snakes). I thought maybe a wolf, but a wolf daemon is too... large and there are a lot of connotations attached to it. I think Lieb’s daemon is something medium-sized and unassuming. Not a dog. Not a domestic cat either. A part of me thinks flightless bird, but no. Not that either. Give me time. I’ll figure her out. As of now, I’m thinking either a marsupial or a canidae/fox but not quite. She’s a mammal, that much I know. Just don’t know what kind.

Grant’s daemon is a male domestic cat named Saladin. He’s either an Abyssinian or a Bengal. Either way, he’s really cool. Like super cool. They’re both super duper cool.

And... that’s kinda it. That’s all I have for now. I’m really sorry it got so long, anon. I get really excited when talking about daemons. It’s character study but with animals! Thank you for giving me this opportunity to ramble. This is where I leave you.

[fanfiction-funtime]

Alexander Vodka lines

I did most of the characters, but some I don't know or genuinely can't think of anything. Hope this is good >-<

Hello: Hey there, your that Traveler fella ain’t ya? Hope I don't owe you copyrights for  the name. Hm? I don’t? Well then, what can I help ya with?

Adventures? Sure why not, I could use the inspiration.

Two names: You’re curious why I have two names? Well it's sort of a thing in Snezhnaya that officers and other high ranking people have two names, like how harbingers do. Since I’m a high ranking member of the Schneznayan authors association, well former member, I have the name “Eis Cay’zar” meaning “ice ruler”. And Alexander Vodka is a pen name. Hm? What's my resistance name and real one? Well now Traveler, a man must have some secrets.

Change of tone: Ah yes, people often find the way I change from more eloquent speech to more casual off putting. Well it's the same reason I wear two sets of clothes: sometimes I feel like looking like an old noir hero, other times I like looking like a new age caped crusader. Sometimes I like sounding high society, other times I enjoy sounding like I’m from Khaen’ria.

How do you know about Khaen’ria: Well I was looking for accents and found out about a place called “New York” or something, a bit of investigation and I discovered everything. My source? That's a secret, ehe.

Good morning: Mornin’ Traveler! What's in the mornin’ paper?

Noon: Lunch time, my favourite time of the day. Let’s go get some pizza, I’m famished!

Afternoon: Almost time to punch out, let's go knock some skulls first.

Night: *yawn* Today was fun, thanks buddy. Get some shut eye, or if you can't come meet me at (wanmin/angels share/the tea house), first rounds on me!

When it rains: I am so glad I got over my fear of contacts.

When it rains(with glasses outfit): Hey can we get under something? I can barely see!

When it stops raining: The smell that comes after rain has always been one of my favorites.

When it snows: Perfect weather to bundle up with a nice hot cup of hot chocolate!

When it stops snowing: Do you ever miss home, Traveler?

About freedom: I warned Barbados, you know that? I knew that as long as he saw it coming, Signora wouldn’t stand a chance. But he just looked at me and said, “good, when I’m gone mondstadt will be truly free of the gods”. That’s a man I’d follow to the depths of the abyss and back.

About Venti: Speaking of Barbados, he’s a great drinking buddy. Me and him knock back a couple hundred rounds whenever I’m in Mondstadt! Course I’m always paying the tab, but I consider it a way of repaying him for making songs about my books.

About Kaeya: The cavalry captain? He’s pretty cool if you ask me, modeled as Rex Mondoleon for the cover of a historical fiction book I made. But I’d still like to know what he’s hiding behind that smile.

About Diluc: Don’t tell him I told you this, but one time I found Diluc after he was hit by an abyss spell that made him drunk. While he was drunk he kept ranting about how sorry he is for kicking out his brother. The poor guy has all that forgiveness in him but he’s too afraid to let it out.

About Jean: The acting grandmaster of the knights is someone truly deserving of respect. She leads by being a good person and earning the respect of her people, and she has never once tried to cover up the mistakes of the knights. In fact if a knight makes a mistake she’ll rush out to fix it. Jean should be the grandmaster, not that crooked old bastard.

About Lisa: Lisa was my first friend in Mondstadt. She mailed me about getting copies of my books into the Mondstadt library, I said I’d do a signing to promote a new one, one thing led to another and now we have tea every ninth day of the month.

About Rosaria: Don’t tell anyone, but I’m very sure she’s a vampire. A nice one, but still.

About Barbara: Awe that little doll? I once saw her kill multiple fatui because they threatened some sick and injured travelers. So I think she’s a great person, takes compassion to save lives and guts to handle taking them as well.

About Bennett: Bennett? Yeah I know him, nice kid. He likes my books but kept breaking them, so now I make special enchanted ones so he can’t break them even if he tried.

About Razor: The guardian of wolvendom? He’s a weird one alright, but he’s not a bad guy. I taught him how to read and write.

About Fischl: That crazy kid? I don’t care what everyone else says, she’s nice. People need to learn to just leave people alone, she’s not hurting anyone with her persona.

About Noelle: You will never find someone more dedicated too...well anything than Noelle is too the knights and her training.

About Klee: Klee and I are great friends! Nothing is more stimulating than massive explosions!

About Amber: She always has interesting stories to tell, like one time where she got rid of some bandits by making a dummy merchant cart filled with explosives! Or the time she had to help a kid get her pet giant snake out from the cathedral!

About Zhongli: Heh, he thinks he’s slick, but I know he’s Rex Lapis. Gotta say I kinda hate him for just giving up his gnosis, however he did it to free his people so I can’t be mad.

About Ninnguang: Never much cared for economics because I don’t know much about ‘em, so I can’t say anything about her business sense. But I can say that she’s a great leader who puts her people first.

About Keqing: Haven’t talked to her enough to know much, but she’s dedicated to her people and that's enough for me. Her dislike of blind faith in the gods is definitely enough to make me want to get to know her better though.

About Qiqi: Qiqi’s a nice kid, I don’t care what anyone says her being a zombie doesn’t make her bad.

About Baizhu: Snake man? Nice guy, helps me be accurate in my books. Always worry about him though, one hot breeze and he’s out like a light.

About Xingqiu: Xingqiu always tries to hide his good deeds, and while I can respect anonymity I can’t let a hero go unsung. So I’ve written multiple short stories about him using a different name, and put in the beginnings that it’s based on a true story.

About Chongyun: His popsicles are great inventions, I’ve played around with the idea a bit and made flavored ones. So far I’ve got strawberry and grape down and am working on this weird fruit called a..Banananana? I think?

About Beidou: Captain Beidou is so cool! She tells me stories about her journeys out to see and I write about them, but after seeing her in action I can’t really say that I do her justice.

About Kazuha: Kazuha has suffered so much, yet he refuses to give up and curl up away from the world when he so easily could. I have immense respect for him.

About Xianling: You’d be surprised at how good slime and boar tusk can be.

About Xiao: I’ve written down many myths and legends of the yaksha, but sadly I've never seen him in person.

About Verr Goldet: Oh she’s great company! Good business sense, and always polite.

About Gorou: Many people rightly attribute the Resistance’s survival and victories to general Kokomi, but it’s wrong to say general Gorou isn’t a brilliant strategist. He knows how to rally his men against impossible odds, and how to keep them standing against them. I’d follow general Gorou into battle any day.

About Ayaka: Ayaka seems so lonely, I hope when this is all done she can have some form of social life.

About Thoma: Thoma’s as cool as he seems. He always has a level head, and solves problems smoothly and without issues.

About Yoimia: KABOOOM!

About Kokomi: One time I was doing an interview of her excellency, to boost morale and draw new members. I intended on asking for her autograph, only for her to ask for mine! I’ve been riding that high for a while now and still ain’t come down.

About Signora: I hate fatui, but without that she has some good qualities: most of her power is her own unlike most other harbingers, and she’s a sharp dresser. Plus she’s actually justified in her choice to join the fatui, not excused, but isolation can justify many crimes in my book. But no matter what I can’t forgive her. She attacked my friend without a chance for him to fight back, and was unfairly cruel. Nothing can justify that, and I will not forgive her as long as she remains unapologetic for her cowardly cruelty.

About Childe: Fatui are scum, but Childe’s probably the best of them: he personally tries to keep civilians and the weak out of fatui business, and he’s only in it to make sure his family lives well. He also is powerful on his own, but most of his strength is the Tsaritsa’s well deserved gifts. Still though, he’s just a single stressful day from losing all his morals. I can’t leave the fate of my homeland to a madman like him, not unless he gets therapy.

About Scaramouche: Scaramouche...that bastard, it’s been five years and he still owes me 30,061 mora.

About the Fatui: The fatui are really just people who are lost or genuinely believe they’re in the right, and while I can sympathize and respect many of them I can't agree nor can I just stand by and watch. The grunts usually aren’t that bad, honestly they’re more like underpaid graduates new to the workforce, but the fighters you see daily? Almost all of them are scum no better than raiders, and debt collectors are the worst of them because they’ll do anything they can to scam you out of everything in their contracts.

About us-commissions: You know, if you’d like to commission a biography it’s 100 mora per ten pages.

About us-inspiration: You’re a font of inspiration for me, ya know that?

About us-fellow rebels: I’ve been with ya enough to know that this path you’re on, the one to find your sis/bro, you’re fighting against something far beyond my ability to deal with. I won’t abandon you, I’ll be here every step of the way.

About us-friends: We’ve been through a lot pal, I’m glad to call you my friend. Please, call me my rebel name: it’s Belgrade, named after the city where some very brave men took their last stand against oppression.

Hobbies: Well you have reading and writing, otherwise? Can't think of anything.

Favorite food: Grilled tiger fish, come get it while it’s hot!

Least favorite food: I really wanna try it, but I can’t have almond tofu. Or any nuts. Closes my throat right up.

Something to share: Hehe, I got embarrassing dirt on all the harbingers. Signora? She has a Tsaritsa body pillow. Scaramouche? He knits sweaters for his pet pig, cute but he hates letting people know. And Childe? Hoo man, the pics I’ve got on him have put a pretty mora on my head.

About me: Hey have you seen my dice? I wanted to teach the mondstadt kids how to play them...hm? What?! No, not gambling! It’s, uh, a tad embarrassing...h-hey look! Literally anything else, let's pay attention to it!

About me II: Alright! These rolls are great, can’t wait to use them next game. I’m so proud of Fischl, so young yet so imaginative. She’s already-ah! T-traveler! What are you doing?..

You know I’m the one meant to be learning the secrets here.

About me III: Back in Snezhnaya, everyone looks down on things that don’t “conform” where even the most rigid of nations like Inazuma have stopped caring. Adults can't play games, men can’t wear dresses, can’t even have a “weird” sense of humor. No laws against it, but being outcasted is...it’s not good…

About me IV: I wish I grew up in Mondstadt. The kids there are so free to be themselves, and the adults aren’t pressured to be nothing more than working hands. It’s not perfect, after all people are rude to Fischl and Benny for being “different”, but it’s better that’s for sure.

About me V: Hey traveler...this is...no it’s not embarrassing. You’re my friend and I have no reason to be embarrassed by wanting to enjoy time with you! Fischl’s going to run a pen and paper dice game, ever played one? It’s super fun, you get to be anything you want really, and it’s a great way to bond.

You will? Great! I’ll help you make a character!

Alexander’s troubles: It’s so hard to find publishers these days. Noone wants an actual plot, they just want twist after twist. What’s up with that?! Shock value is no substitute for characters you love living fulfilling lives.

Happy birthday: Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday you crazy bastard, happy birthday to you! Seriously pal, you put yourself in harm's way every day it seems, we literally met when you were fighting an actual god! Actually, know what? No danger all day! We’re wrapping ourselves in blankets and just relaxing!

Feelings about ascension-intro: woah, somethin’ feels different. I like it!

Feelings about ascension-building up: man, I’m feeling inspired all of a sudden! Hey traveller, give me a prompt!

Feelings about ascension-climax: HA! I don’t know what high I’m riding but I like it, I just finished writing a whole book series!

Feelings about ascension-conclusion: WOO! YEAH! ULRICH MIKAEL KEEPS WINNIN’!-I-I meant Alexand-ah forget it, I’m feelin’ too good to care!

OCs:

About Louis: That crazy inventor guy from Fontaine? I heard he got used by the fatui, damn shame that. Noone deserves to have their heart played with like that.

About Spritefather: You ever heard of Spritefather? I’ve only heard legends, but the fanmail I keep getting tells me that sometimes things are only legendary until someone writes them down.

About the Storytraveler: There’s this woman who travels from universe to universe to fix things, she’s in Teyvat right now. You should meet her, really nice person. But her powers are a bit weird, why does she transform like that? It takes so much time!

_____________________

Tagging: @love-psxlm, @storytravelled, @genshin-obsessed, @golden-wingseos

[takaraphoenix]

Hi! May I ask why you dislike the Shadowhunters finale?

You may ask, I am going to try and answer, but you’re asking me to unearth long-buried memories there. So let’s see how much I can still piece together; the big things for sure, the little things I may have forgotten.

And because this is 4k long, a quick TL;DR/table of content:

the plot and resolution were messy

the show forgot that Clary is its protagonist

Jace Herondale deserved better too

Everything (else) wrong with the flashforward (Maia also deserved better)

Magnus and Alec’s love ended racism and homophobia

1. The Plot and Resolution Were Messy

I still think that the whole Glorious/Heavenly Fire plot was... a mess. The Heavenly Fire was born from the Soul Sword, but somehow they used ScienceTM to reate an antidote for being a Downworlder with it and then when the whole thing explodes, it gets embedded within Isabelle, but instead of killing Isabelle with its intense powers, it grands her the ability to explode Lilith and literally destroy all of hell. What the fuck was that. Nothing about that was... satisfying, or felt like it was really set up anywhere. I mean, I sure didn’t see it coming that Isabelle is the war-ending hero in this tale. That role is usually reserved to the protagonist.

But instead of ending the war or destroying Edom because she has super angelic blood, Clary’s role was to... hug her brother to death with angel-wings she created. What was even happening in that scene. To this day, I don’t understand what was going on there. I mean, she literally hugged him to death. How weird was that. And how unnecessary.

Honestly, I... I didn’t want Clary to be the one to kill Jonathan? He’s her brother. She already killed her father. Sure, they’re The Villains, but... that shit still gets to you, especially since she spent so long hoping against hope that there’s good in Jonathan? To then make her the one killing him.

I think Jace should have killed Jonathan for good, not Clary. Because she doesn’t deserve that burden of having killed her brother, even after all the bad shit he’s done.

And the method of killing was just dumb. I mean, I can not stretch it enough just how dumb it was that she hugged him to death. Not just because it’s as stupid as it sounds, but also because she literally got a warning from the Angel.

The Angel came to her (wow, now that all the action is done, they decide to communicate, awesome...) and warned her that if she keeps creating runes, she will be punished.

There was no need to create a new rune for this. She didn’t have to. Just stab him. You like stabbing things, girl. Stab him to death, or - as I’d have preferred - leave the stabbing him to someone else. Heck, I’d have preferred if Isabelle killed Jonathan via hug because left-over Heavenly Fire embedded in her, that’d have made more sense. But... there was no need to create a new, weirdly specific rune that gave her wings so that if she hugged him, they’d... I have no idea... killed him somehow with their pure godly goodness or whatever.

(Seriously, Isabelle’s Heavenly Fire powers would have made more sense, if we’re operating under the pretense that regular stabbing wouldn’t have been enough at this point, which I am not entirely buying because Alec exploded a higher demon by shooting him in the face.)

Before we get to the part about the Angel’s threat, I’d like to point out the finale’s biggest flaw.

2. The Show Forgot That Clary is Its Protagonist

Clary Fray is the protagonist of this story. The main main character. This was her story, above all else. All others are only secondary characters to her. I would argue that in the hierarchy of characters, Jace also stands above the others (but still second to Clary), because he is just as personally interwoven with all of this as Valentine’s son and the other half of the Jonathan experiment.

But the show temporarily forgot that. Part of that is the above mentioned wish from me that Clary should have destroyed Edom (if we have to destroy hell, which I do think was unnecessarily stupid and should have just been sealed off). I mean, that was the big show-down.

I do think that, to pay off the way the story was set out, Clary should have been the one to get the big finish of destroying Edom and Jace should have gotten the revenge and satisfaction of killing Jonathan, in a last ultimate showdown of who’s the better JC.

I already reasoned why I didn’t particularly like seeing Clary kill Jonathan and why I thought the method of killing him was stupid, but one more thing comes into play there.

By hilling Jon the way she did, she provoked the Angel into doing as he threatened. She is your protagonist and you’re punishing her for saving the world.

I mean seriously, Clary just helped save the world and she just used her powers to kill off a really big enemy. And instead of rewarding her for her services - since she did this shit for the Angels - she gets punished for it.

We spent this three years journey (for us; three months for her. I really can’t stress enough how bad the condensed timeline is, all around) following Clary.

She already suffered so much. But she kept powering through it and she was really finding her place there. She was finally training, she got her Angelic rune to accept her into this society, she was making friends, she was making plans. That little conversation between her and Isabelle about becoming parabatai? That was awesome. Like, something I hadn’t realized I needed until they said it. That was great, really.

And then they just took her memories away. They took their protagonist and just... left her stranded on the streets with no memories at all about the past three months of her life.

And then we timeskip - and I’ll get into the non-Clary related timeskip issues after the Clary-section of this post, so let’s focus on hers for now.

Luke is off in Brazil fucking Maryse, instead of being in New York with his daughter. This show’s always done a half-assed job with that relationship. They often name-dropped a “dad” or “daughter” there, but only when it served a plot-purpose of sorts; they rarely gave us some genuine bonding moments between them and I think that was a fault throughout the show, but this ending was just completely fucking that dynamic over.

Luke was cured from being a werewolf. And instead of choosing the mundie life that he’s pretended to lead for the past 18 years, he decides to not just go back to the Clave, who mistreated him and to whom he technically should still be a wanted terrorist for having been a Circle member (you know, the thing Maryse got deruned for). And, ship aside, the fact that Luke chose to go with his new girlfriend somewhere far off instead of staying with his daughter? Still feels like character assassination for me, quite frankly.

What, she’s not allowed to remember the Shadow World. Great that Luke is no longer a werewolf and has to associate with the pack anymore! Great timing that he’s now a Shadowhunter, something you can apparently really easily pretend not to be if you look at Jocelyn. Or, hey, actually he should have been deruned for his past crimes, which would be even more convenient because then he would get to actually live a mundie life, with his daughter.

I mean, seriously, how did that past year that is so conveniently skipped, even go? She was out in the streets, alone. How much did she even remember? Her name? The things prior to the last three months? How was anything explained to her, who did the explaining? What does she think happened to her mom, to Luke, to Simon? Because they were a part of her life before all of this.

I think the memory-wipe in itself does Clary a disservice because it erases her entire journey, but the very least they could have done if memory-wiping her would have been to give her a happy ending. To show her living a good mundie life with Luke.

But the memory-wipe wasn’t about Clary. That’s where the “the show forgot she’s the protagonist” comes into play again. Not only did they punish their protagonist for doing the protagonist-y thing of saving the day; they... they essentially fridged her.

I don’t know a non-dead term for fridging, but for all intends and purposes, she was fridged. She lost her memories, not as a part of her own plot, she lost them for Jace’s Man Pain.

That was the framing device the show chose.

They could have made Clary’s memory-loss about Clary; shown us how she adjusted to the new life, or even as mentioned before given her a happy ending there, in the mundie world. They could have shown us her suffering about this.

Instead, it’s framed around Jace. Jace, sparring with Simon, being called out for still pining after Clary. A whole-ass year and Jace is still hung up on Clary, still regularly checking in on Clary, still stalking her, still sad, still suffering. He pines from afar as he watches Clary’s art show. And when she suddenly remembers his name, it is framed as a happy moment for him.

Her suffering served a man.

They really took their female protagonist and decided, in the finale, to make her suffer, for the sake of her male love interest. That would be absolutely gross if she was just the love interest of the male protagonist, but she is the protagonist and they turned her into a plot-device.

And it didn’t even stick. I assume the memory-wipe was an idea hatched prior to the show being cancelled. She is memory-wiped and we go into hiatus and next season, we have Jace and the others chase after her and bring back her memories. Would still be shit and do Clary a disservice, but at least it’d have like... a purpose.

There was no purpose to the memory-wipe as it happened. It lasted literally 2 minutes screen-time before Jace’s sad puppy-dog eyes triggered Clary’s memories again and look, her brain didn’t melt! She got to remember him.

So what was even the point of that memory-wipe...? Clary wasted a whole year of her life in total isolation, thinking everyone she loved was dead, when in reality her memories could have safely been brought back at any time.

The Angel punishing the protagonist for doing protagonist-y things would have already been a dick-move, but this? This was the Angel playing a cruel prank on Clary, really. And what was the point of that...? Nothing, absolutely nothing.

Nothing is gained from the memory-wipe. The finale would have been improved by simply not including the memory-wipe. Literally just, have her have a good time at the party, be happy. And include her in the flashforward as being parabatai with Isabelle and being happy. The pay-off the protagonist of your show would have deserved at the end of said show.

3. Jace Herondale Deserved Better Too

As I mentioned in Clary’s section, Clary being essentially be fridged like that would have been a shit move even if she was just the love-interest to the actual protagonist. But Jace isn’t the protagonist. He’s one of the main characters and I’d argue the second most important one but that stands to debate I suppose because I have favorite-character-bias there. It can definitely not be argued that he is not the primary protagonist, because that’s Clary.

But Clary had to suffer for his man pain.

And honestly, my AO3 track-record shows how much I love seeing Jace suffer, but even I think this was absolutely useless and unnecessary.

In the past three months of Jace’s life, he:

learned his father didn’t die but was a (still alive) wanted terrorist

spent weeks thinking the girl he had a crush on was his sister

was abducted by his father and tortured for five days straight

thought his mother (Jocelyn) wanted to kill him

nearly got mauled by Maia “kill first, ask questions later” Roberts

got thrown into prison after being freed

where he was then tortured by his boss

tried to commit suicide through the Soul Sword in the City of Bones (1)

thought his mother (Jocelyn) wanted to kill him

was harrassed in his own home to the point of willingly moving out

thought his mother (Jocelyn) was dead and mourned her

was abandoned by 3/5th of his adopted family (but they said sorry afterward so people forgive them *snorts*)

tried to commit suicide through the Soul Sword thinking he could destroy it (2)

tried to commit suicide through letting Simon drink him dry (3)

learned his father wasn’t his biological father but a mad scientist who killed Jace’s parents and cut him out of his mother’s womb

was literally killed by his own father. I mean he died. He actually died

was possessed by Lilith for weeks and in that time

killed multiple mundies without any control over his body

repeatedly killed the people he loved inside his mind-prison

was sexually assaulted by Lilith

actually killed his own grandmother and only living relative due to toe possession

learned that there’s mental illness running in his family and that his mom actually committed suicide

They crammed all that trauma into three months and at no point did they actually allow Jace to process any of that. Nope, instead of letting him process, or just stopping to beat him down, they decided to make him suffer some more at the end.

The ending he deserved would have been a fucking therapy session, not “my girlfriend doesn’t remember me so I’ll be sad and pine for a year :(”.

Made even worse by the decision to move Alec onto another continent. I appreciate that little bonding moment between Jace and Simon, I really do, but the fact that his parabatai was just... off living his best life, somewhere else, while Jace was suffering like this? That didn’t sit right with me at all and really goes against what that parabatai bond is supposed to mean.

My boy tried to commit suicide three times and actually died once in those three months. But instead of a rewarding ending that somehow... gives them all something good to end on, they took Clary away from him for a whole year - a vital year, the year after the war, the time he should have spent on healing himself and dealing with his trauma. Reducing his character to sad, heart-broken boyfriend instead of finally letting him heal.

And for what? Clary immediately regained her memories when she saw him; all of this additional suffering served no purpose at all aside from “they both suffered for a year lol”. Stupid and unnecessary and especially after the excessive torture they put Jace through, he really deserved better than to have his “one year later” moment be “uh actually you totally wasted that year pining from afar, coulda just talked to her at any moment lol”.

4. Everything (Else) Wrong With the Flashforward

This is going to recap a lot of the things peppered into the other points, but it needs to be put into one sub-point too, because the sum of things in this flashforward is just bullshit.

The memory-wipe that is magically undone by Jace’s sad puppy-dog eyes and thus served absolutely no purpose.

Showing the “a year later” but not how Clary got there; what her journey to that point in life even was.

Luke happily joining the Clave again after everything and deliberately abandoning Clary to frolick at the beaches in Brazil.

Bat and Maia. Those are the only new things I have to add here, because... wow. Bat had a total screentime - I mean, total of this entire show - of under 10 minutes. I’d wager more close to 5, really. There was no build-up here, because the show was so busy side-lining Maia after they promoted Alisha to main cast - which in itself was just ridiculous; you promote her and instead of giving her character more to do and a prominent storyline, you just feature the return of her ex and then basically write her off the show for a while. She just... up and left for multiple months after becoming the Alpha, leaving the pack kind of... leaderless. And then she’s just back again and now she is with Bat, which didn’t even feel much like a deserved happy ending considering they never really established their dynamic - or Bat’s character - much.

Quite honestly, with the way this show had messed around with romance, I think the show should have gone non-canon and kept Simon and Maia together through to the end, because while season 1 set Simon and Isabelle up really well, season 2 kinda forgot about that again and 3B had to rush that back in again for the sake of endgame.

Maia’s final scene wasn’t a pay-off, because the show forgot to give her the set-up for it. They never showed her become the Alpha, they never showed her be the Alpha, so seeing her there in charge didn’t feel like much. They never showed her and Bat develop much more than an acquantanceship, much less fall in love, so her being with him in the end felt more like a consolation prize.

And, in theory, you could argue that, well, she’s not the protagonist so you can’t flesh all that really out. But then the show even put more focus onto their little non-canon Luke/Maryse romance than they did on the Bat/Maia canon romance. She deserved to have a proper build-up to make her ending be a worthy pay-off

Then there’s Alec and Magnus, but they get sub-point 5 so we’ll get back to them later.

5. Magnus and Alec’s Love Ended Racism and Homophobia

To drive home how much their ending bothered me, I have to go back some.

Shadowhunters are inherently homophobic and racist; that is what this show told us rather early on already. They’re homophobic and they’re very racist against Downworlders.

The show claimed that and they clumsily tried to show that, at times, but... they put zero effort into doing something to change that and still want to reap the glory for making them change their ways. And it’s... pathetic, bad writing and genuinely offensive to anyone who’s ever actually dealt with someone homophobic and/or racist before.

I’m a white lesbian, so I’ll not pretend that it’s up to me to speak to the way the show handled the racism subplot; many fans, who are people of color themselves and can speak to this much better than I ever could, have addressed that in more detail in the past.

But it’d be wrong not to mention it here too, because... they really dropped the ball on this plotline centered around a huge real world issue. They set the Shadowhunters up as racists but here we are, only one year later and not only did they allow a Downworlder to live in their super holy city (which they were forbidden from entering only a year ago; they only got to live in the wild, also explicitely stated to be rogue and wild werewolves, more beast than man), they appointed Magnus the High Warlock. Not only did they “end racism” within a year, they also got Magnus a high-ranking political position. Really?

I’ll focus more on the homophobia here, because I can speak more to that. And I do think that the two issues run relatively parallel in how they were handled. (Because they were both not handled.)

Alec’s still deep in the closet when we start the show. Then he agrees to a political marriage to a Good WomanTM, just to publicly come out, in front of his bosses and everyone he works with. Which, I still think was horribly handled, but I digress.

He was in the closet for a reason. Because of the Shadowhunters’ inherent homophobia. Which the show then just... kind of... forgot.

Alec is never shown to face homophobia. Alec is never shown to actually speak up and do something to help other gays.

But the show still thinks to deserve a pat on the back, and gives it to itself via Andrew Underhill praising Alec for all he has done for gay people. By... what, exactly? Kissing Magnus in public?

Same for Aline, who is so deep in the closet when we first meet her, she can’t even dare say it in anything but a whisper even while being with the only person she ever confided in about her sexuality, but a month later, during Magnus and Alec’s wedding, she can dance and laugh and kiss her girlfriend in public.

The show really pretends that The Power Of LoveTM ended homophobia, because, I don’t know, the Clave looked at Alec and Magnus and shipped it so they were now okay with all gays I guess??

That’s bullshit. You didn’t have to set up this society as inherently homophobic; if you’d just done that, the way it progressed would have been fine. But if you make them inherently homophobic, you don’t get to do... nothing.

Alec is an openly gay man. He’d have gotten shit from his coworkers. He certainly wouldn’t have gotten all of those promotions in such a short time!

No one speaks up against him being appointed head of the Institute - even though someone really should have, not even just because he’s gay but also because he’s a Lightwood and we started this whole fucking mess of playing musical chairs with the position of head because the Clave wanted to take it away from the Lightwoods! But also because he’s gay. And dating a Downworlder, just to remind you of the inherent racism again.

He’s offered the position of consul within a month of having been head - a position he only got through nepotism to begin with. Consul. That... That’s a high-ranking political position.

And in the flashfoward, only one year after, he is... he is the Inquistor.

They really pretend that this gay man came out as gay, ended homophobia and racism with the power of love and then, within a year’s time climbed onto the highest possible political positon.

Just, imagine that in the real world. During the height of “don’t ask, don’t tell” and when interracial relationships are far from socially accepted, this guy just comes out as gay, never does any activism aside from actively being gay, gets married to this man of color (and it’s very peculiar that the majority of Downworlders also make up the majority of characters of color) and then the guy becomes president of the United States within a year.

The narrative the show chose belittles the actual struggle oppressed minorities have been fighting for decades and centuries, because it claims the pay-off of having ended the oppression, without ever actually showing the struggle and fight. It makes it look like, well, if the right queer interracial couple kissed in public, then people would see how silly their racism and homophobia were and just stop being racist and homophobic.

The show did not earn that ending. The show didn’t earn the pat on the back from Underhill to Alec, the show didn’t earn that out and proud wedding inside the Institute, the show didn’t earn that Underhill/Lorenzo and Aline/Helen open, happy, uncaring dancing during said wedding, the show didn’t earn Inquisitor Alec and the show didn’t earn High Warlock of Alicante Magnus.

Because the show didn’t put in the work to earn that.

[chicagocityofclans]

Ethan Cleirigh → Jay Ryan → Warlock

→ Basic Information 

Age: 763

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Straight 

Powers: Panmnesia 

Birthday: October 19th

Zodiac Sign: Libra

Religion: Buddhist

Mark: Cleirigh 

Generation: 2nd

→ His Personality Ethan is somewhat of a loner and often keeps to himself. He is both intelligent and resourceful. He’s also a very rational individual, constantly analysing risks and the best course forward. After WWII, he withdrew into himself, becoming isolated from the world around him and self-loathing. He’s trying to be caring and compassionate to those in his life as he ages. He doesn't want to be his father's age and completely hate life or humans. His plans are always definite the moment he makes them until something makes him change them, and he frequently operates based on pictures of what he thinks ought to be. 

When Ethan uses his power of Panmnesia, his darker PTSD side is more prominent, he is emotionally detached, even from those he is close to. His violent instincts are more discernible and make him more dangerous. With Panmnesia, Ethan can never forget and it plays a large role in who he is. He's often caught staring off in space; he remembers every heart ache as if it were seconds ago: every accident, every book and movie, everytime he walked in on a family member naked or in a compromised position. It drives his anxiety through the roof. All in all, he is still fighting for those who cannot and showing compassion, Ethan embodies intensity and warmth. 

→ His Personal Facts

Occupation: Retired

Scars: A scar on the right side of his face, from his eye to his jawbone

Tattoos: None

Two Likes: Bodybuilding and Traditions 

Two Dislikes: Avocados and Adulterers 

Two Fears: Never Finding Love and Doppelgangers 

Two Hobbies: Junk Food and People Watching 

Three Positive Traits: Survivor, Hardworking, Elegant 

Three Negative Traits: Brooding, Antisocial, Impartial  

→ His Connections

Parent Names:

Ronan Cleirigh (Father): Ethan and Ronan have a regular father son bond. Ethan looks up to the side of his father most people do not get to see. 

Willow Radium (Mother): Ethan doesn’t know or care about his birth mother.

Ishtar Cleirigh (Step Mother): Isa has been in his life since Ethan was 2 years old. She is his mother by all means. She helped raise him alongside his father.

Sibling Names:

Nathan Cleirigh (Brother): Ethan is sure Nathan is the way he is because of his mother and his inactive powers. When they were younger they were insparetable but as they grew Nathan turned away from their culture. Ethan believes Nathan wants to be human and thinks he’s better than the rest of them. Ethan is still on friendly terms with Nathan but it’s only because they’re brothers.

Judson Cleirigh (Brother): Ethan and Judson have a close relationship. His brother joined him on the battlefield more than once as a medic. Instead of learning from Ronan, Kaylor, Garrett or Roman, Ethan trusts Judson to teach him about potions.

Teyla Cleirigh (Sister): Ethan tries not to think of his parents conceiving Teyla or Altair but it still weird him out that he has siblings that are over 700 years younger than him. He is happy that he has an active role in her life.

Altair Cleirigh (Brother): Ethan tries not to think of his parents conceiving Teyla or Altair but it still weird him out that he has siblings that are over 700 years younger than him. He is happy that he has an active role in his life.

Children Names:

None

Romantic Connections:

Talia Cleirigh (Girlfriend): Ethan never thought he would commit but Talia is different and understands him. At first he did not trust her but she slowly gained his trust and his love. 

Platonic Connections:

Roman Cleirigh (Uncle): Ronan forced him to move in with Roman and Talia after a few night terrors and PTSD moments. He was always closest to Roman but living with him has expanded their relationship. Ethan can now go as far as calling Roman his favorite Uncle. 

Brighton ‘Bee’ Genesis (Uncle): Bee is Ethan’s uncle by marriage. Just like Judson, Uncle Bee joined him multiple times on the battlefields. Unlike his other Uncle Garrett and Aunt Kaylor, Ethan doesn’t mind having Bee around him.

Jin Asato (Friend): Jin, Asa and Ethan met at a Veterans ‘Outreach Program’. They were the only supernatural in the room and quickly bonded. Jin is one of the only people Ethan talks to outside of his family.

Asa Fields (Friend): Jin, Asa and Ethan met at a Veterans ‘Outreach Program’. They were the only supernatural in the room and quickly bonded. Asa is one of the only people Ethan talks to outside of his family.

Chiara Ricci (Friend): Ethan was romantically interested in Chiara for three seconds before she spoke. She reminded him of the tough female soldiers he had worked with before and they quickly became friends. 

Hostile Connections:

Lawrence Cocci (Dislike): Lawrence threw a fireball at Ethan once. He claimed it was a mistake but the act alone was inexcusable. 

Pets:

None

→ History Ethan was left as a baby on his father’s, Ronan, front porch just outside of what is now Sibiu, Romania. His mother, Willow, left him there having no idea that his father had abandoned the home and started down towards Greece. Ronan hadn’t deactivated his wards and was surprised to feel someone poking around his land. Ronan almost didn’t check because whoever or whatever it was quickly left but curiosity got the best of him. That’s when Ethan’s life really began. He started walking before he could crawl, no one around him crawled and he only mimicked what he saw. His first words were ‘Dada’ followed quickly by ‘damned humans’ and ‘sard! you change his nappies’. Ronan quickly narrowed Ethan's powers down to Panmnesia or Mnemokinesis and lectured him about swearing in public and in front of his aunt, Kaylor. 

When Ethan first saw Ishtar, she shined brightly like an angel, and appeared out of nowhere. He learned that she was manipulating time and showed up right in the place he was looking. His two year old eyes couldn’t comprehend that it was just light bending and refracting around her body as she suddenly appeared. Ishtar became one of his favorite people that day. Ethan often found himself bored or learning about things that were way above his age, with panmnesia he could never forget what he read, he read faster than everyone else, he only needed to see something once and could easily repeat it. He excelled quickly with his powers, potions, charms, wards, spells and more. By the time Ethan reached his mid-200’s he was bored with life in general. That's when Ethan joined his first battle, the First Battle of St Albans and later on joined the war efforts of the Welsh Revolt. Ethan finally found something that kept his interest but also him on his toes. 

Ethan had fought in many European individual battles but only two full wars; the Welsh Revolt and the First Italian War. It wasn’t until the Revolutionary War that Ethan stopped teleporting to Europe. He fought on both sides in the War of 1812, Mexican - American War, American Civil War and Spanish-American War. For World War I and World War II, Ethan chose a side and stuck to it. After returning from the Gulf War, Ethan became overwhelmed with the fast pace changes around him and rethinking his positions in the military. However, since then he has had multiple deployments overseas; frequenting Afghanistan, Iraq and Kuwait. Ethan had never joined for what he believed in or what he thought was right but only to help him pass time. When he wasn’t at war he was brushing up on new novels, discoveries and his magic. Ethan was always keeping busy and never noticed that he was developing a severe case of PTSD. 

→ The Present Ethan was skeptical when his father kicked him out and forced him to consider staying with his uncle and his dream manipulator. He hated not being in his old room and sharing his space with Talia. But she never gave up and was constantly hounding him to let her help him. One day he listened to what she had to say as they shopped together for a Halloween mask for a masquerade ball thrown by Jia. His interest in her peaked and his hostility dampened. While it took almost a year for him to get to know her and fully trust her, Ethan is glad they're giving each other a try and finally making their relationship official. 

Ethan has been retired for two weeks from the US Army Reserve. His family had a ‘small’ party for him last week but besides that Ethan has yet to leave the house again. He’s unsure what to do with himself or with his time. Usually between reenlisting, he would read, train his magic and learn new findings within their community, but every book he’s tried this decade has been trash. Ethan is sure that this time he will not be reenlisting in the future. He’s tried multiple times to go into a deep sleep for a few days or longer but he finds himself waking up fully rested after 8 or 12 hours of sleep. Between Talia, Roman, Ishtar, Ronan, Judson, Bee, Asa and Jin, Ethan is finally convinced he needs a hobby or job; the sooner the better. 

[24hour-blues]

all the ones you haven't answered yet? i'm sorry you're sad💙

thank you, that's very sweet. i hope you're doing alright 💛

1. when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? - more milk. i always end up putting too much.

2. do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? - yes

3. what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? - library receipts, post-its, junk mail, pencils

5. are you self-conscious of your smile? - i think it’s one of the few things i’m not self-conscious about, actually. i like my smile.

8. what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? - writing, often poetry but sometimes prose. i like creating playlists, too, and singing.

9. do you like singing/humming to yourself? - yeah, i sing to myself all the time. whatever song i have stuck in my head at the moment.

10. do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? - side, but very occasionally my stomach.

12. what’s your favorite planet? - jupiter

14. if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? - lots of pillows and blankets of all types. succulents and cacti on the windowsills. wooden utensils and dark cabinets in the kitchen. a breakfast bar with stools that don’t match. rugs with funky patterns. a big, soft couch in a bright color that you can sink into. a small balcony with fold-out chairs. rows of mugs and barely any plates. the bathroom crowded with makeup and skin products, writing on the mirror in blue marker. beds never made. a guitar in the corner of the sitting room.

15. go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! - there are more trees on earth than stars in the milky way

16. what’s your favorite pasta dish? - angel hair pasta with puttanesca sauce

18. tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. - i can’t think of anything...

19. do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? - everything. sometimes it’s big things, sometimes small. my fears and what i’m in love with. regrets. shame. hope.

20. what’s your favorite eye color? - grey

21. talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. - idk if it’s really my favorite, but my current backpack took me all through college and it’s good for storing stuff or using as an overnight bag. it’s from timberland and is a nice earthy brown with a flap over the top. lots of pockets.

22. are you a morning person? - i can be

23. what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? - make breakfast and tea. read or watch a movie that makes me rethink everything

25. what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? - a school, i think?

26. what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? - i haven’t had them forever, but i wear my doc martens with everything. i used to wear plain white keds with everything.

27. what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? - winter green

28. sunrise or sunset? - sunrise

30. think of it: have you ever been truly scared? - yes

31. what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. - i like soft, fluffy socks and ones with fun patterns. i love hiking socks. i don’t wear them to sleep tho.

32. tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. - i went to a waffle house at 5am with a friend and some friends of hers i’d just met on her birthday. we were all really drunk, the food took forever, and it tasted awful, but we were happy and laughing.

33. what’s your fave pastry? - probably a cinnamon roll

35. do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? - i like a good calligraphy pen and new notebooks. i don’t use them often; i feel like i don’t have anything important enough to write.

37. do you like keeping your room messy or clean? - it’s usually clean unless i’m not feeling well. sometimes i get disorganized.

38. tell us about your pet peeves! - overlapping conversations. people interrupting others. loud mouth noises, like chewing or licking. people criticizing my driving. nitpicky comments on my clothes or how i look. being talked about.

39. what color do you wear the most? - black, probably.

41. what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? - how it feels to float by helena fox

42. do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! - nope

43. who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? - i’m not sure

44. when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? - i can’t remember

45. do you trust your instincts a lot? - not really

46. tell us the worst pun you can think of. - i can’t remember it but something about pigeons and being coo-l

47. what food do you think should be banned from the universe? - bacon. i just wanna make people angry.

48. what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? - my dad told me a story once, about when i was a kid. he said that he and i were walking together near the lake in the neighborhood across from mine. i was holding his hand, and i said to him that this was the happiest time in my life because i wouldn't be the same when i grew out of being a child. i think i have the same fear now--that i'll never be that happy again.

49 do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?

- i like records but i only have one. it's an album by ccr. i really like them

50. what’s an odd thing you collect?

- beer bottle caps

52. what are your favorite memes of the year so far?

- maybe those "girl..." text posts that just say stupid shit

53. have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?

- watched them all but pulp fiction. i don't really remember heathers at all

55. what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point?

- lets not talk about that

57. go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?

- not in the mood sorry

58. who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? - bri is wine mom. quincy and i are vodka aunt.

60. do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

- yes but i rarely remember favorites. i read so much and feel it then forget all the words

61. what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?

- someone gave me a rock once. i get too nervous to give stupid gifts

62. do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?

- orange or cranberry

63. are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?

- i'm more fussy about music than books, but i do like my books organized. i like them worn in and well-read tho, not in perfect shape.

64. what color is the sky where you are right now?

- a fuzzy, light blue-grey. it's snowing

65. is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with?

- a few

66. what would your ideal flower crown look like?

- lots of green leaves in all different shapes and sizes. tiny white and blue flowers.

67. how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?

- isolated and insignificant. safe

68. what’s winter like where you live?

- cold, grey, snowy.

69. what are your favorite board games?

- idk if i really too many board games. maybe cranium. i like puzzles more

71. what’s your favorite kind of tea?

- honey vanilla chamomile

72. are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it?

- yea and even then i forget.

73. what are some of your worst habits?

- i give up too easily

74. describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

- excitable. emotional. so very smart. creative as all hell. self-conscious where they shouldn't be. never runs out of words in the best way. loves to share.

75. tell us about your pets!

- my dog shiver is turning into a little old man, but he still acts like a puppy. he likes attention and whines to communicate. he'll greet you at the door and put his front paws on your thighs to say hi. follows you all around the house. loves to cuddle.

- my pigeon spirit is young and vocal. she coos for attention. when i go to sleep, she grunts every time i move to ask where i am and if i'm okay. i take showers with her and sit on the tile; she puffs up right into my side and sticks her wings out for me to splash water on her. she likes to be close to me to get neck scritches and push her head into my neck and preen every bit of me she can.

76. is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?

- a lot probably

77. pink or yellow lemonade?

- limeade

78. are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

- i dunno they're cute

80. what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

- it's white wallpaper with pink roses along the top and ribbons of pink and green striped vertically. my mom chose it before i was born.

81. describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.

- they sort of remind me of dark water where everything is reflected back in it--not just the sky but the trees and people walking--and they make you want to look closer because you know there's something in there, it's not just a reflection, like flat glass. but it's hidden until you dio your hand in the pictures broken.

82. are/were you good in school?

- pretty good

83. what’s some of your favorite album art?

- i don't look at albums

85. do you read comics? what are your faves?

- not really, but watchmen is one of my favorites.

86. do you like concept albums? which ones?

- dunno

88. are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?

- um. idrk. i like whatever monet was doing.

91. where do you plan on traveling this year?

- maybe michigan

92. are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?

- i like cheese

93. what’s the hairstyle you wear the most?

- i just kind of. let it do whatever.

94. who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

- my uncle

95. what are your plans for this weekend?

- honestly have no clue

96. do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?

- put them off until windows tells me it's restarting the computer in five minutes

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?

- mb

98. when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?

- in college with jacob, although i wouldn't really call it joking. we just walked through a state park. it was beautiful.

100. if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?

- idk. i feel like i'd make the same mistakes if i went back, but the future scares me.

[lokiondisneyplus]

Today I left the house wearing a face mask for the first time.

I had woken up to the sound of heavy rain, which is always surreal in Los Angeles, and when I look out of the window to the hauntingly dehumanising sight of bandana-clad dog walkers, an eerie weight settles as I remember: this is our reality now.

I’m standing in the supermarket queue, a line dotted by crosses taped on the floor of the underground car park to signify our designated 6ft distance. Easily 50 people long and snaking around the perimeter of the building, I make my way to the last available X-marks-the-spot and join the other masked Bandits. I haven’t food shopped for over a week and am in need of supplies.

There is an obnoxiously loud man two crosses ahead of me ranting into his phone with such a high energy, the surrounding Bandits have allowed an extended social distance of a cross on either side of him. I sigh, remembering I’ve left my headphones at home, so am unable to tune him out, I wait and exhale, wondering how I am going to get used to the claustrophobic sensation of hot air and fabric condensing on my face.

Loud Phone Man is not wearing a mask and it's clear we’ve passed the tipping point of mild judgement, at least here in LA, where Bandits exchange a raised eyebrow, (about the only non-verbal Bandit communication available) which somehow magnifies the annoyance of this shopper - not only loud, but breathing indiscriminately all over us in this confined space… what does he think this is? Last week??

It’s Monday on #Week4 of Covid-19 lockdown in La La Land and as I shuffle to the next X I reflect on the journey so far.

After a whirlwind press tour to promote the release of Misbehaviour in UK cinemas (sadly cinemas were shuttered just days after the film's theatrical release – but it's available to watch online at home from April 15th!) I returned to work in Atlanta for Loki, the Marvel limited series for Disney Plus I’ve been working on, so am on set when I get the news that we are going on hiatus as a precaution due to the accelerating coronavirus, initially for one week. Thinking it would be longer, but still unsure at that point, I book a flight to LA to sit things out there for the time being. The next day Trump imposes a travel ban on travelling in or out of the US for 30 days, and with my visa situation and the pace at which everything is moving, it feels risky to fly to the UK in case I cannot get back into the country when filming recommences, whenever that will be.

So, with my housemate and her dog for company, we embark on social distancing, self-isolation and Lady Macbeth-level hand-washing.

Managing a constant low-level anxiety about my parents and loved ones, and friends in New York, London, Johannesburg and all over the world, I become consumed by the news, glued to the BBC website and KCRW talk radio for the latest figures. Like families gathered around “the wireless” in wartime, everything is unfolding so rapidly and the news, never this dramatic in my lifetime, takes on disaster-movie proportions.

FaceTime and WhatsApp become my lifelines as the reality of the pandemic is tinged with a weird detachment… a numbness I later realise was a form of shock that lasts for nearly two weeks and puts me into a hyper-focused state as I race to keep up, stay informed and learn how to adapt to this new rhythm.

I am of course aware that I am so privileged to be safe and personally unaffected thus far, but grasping the truth from what is overblown, and fact from politics and propaganda, give everything an out-of-body zero gravity quality; a new normal we are all united in.

Things are kicking off in the food line as my attention is caught by an exasperated Valley Girl three Xs ahead who finally explodes at Loud Phone Man, “ OH MY GAAAAD, USE YOUR INSIDE VOICE, CANT YOU SEEEEE EVERYONE IS LOOKING AT YOU CAUSE YOU’RE TALKING SO LOUD… WE ALL HAVE TO STAND HERE, OHMYGAAAD!” As she stomps her Ugged feet to the next X the security guard and smiling store employee (no mask) approach and I can feel a repressed inside-voice-cheer emanate from the rest of the line in applause.

The Bandit Couple ahead of me raise another eyebrow in solidarity and Female Bandit begins to capture a video of Loud Phone Man on her iPhone. The air gets thin, the energy tightens, “Hey Man,” Smiling Store Employee intercepts, Security guard flanking, “You wanna keep it down a bit, people are stressed, y’know? Thanks Man.” Valley Girl scowls, Bandit couple exchange glances, while still filming, Loud Phone Man defends, “I WASN’T EVEN TALKING THAT LOUUUUUD!!!” (Collective Bandit eyeroll) “YESSSSS YOU WERE!!!” Hisses Valley Girl, “Yeah Man, sorry you were,” Store Employee placates. taking the referee stance. I notice Loud Phone Man is wearing flip-flops, on a rainy day. He continues his conversation into his device, phone held to his lips, like a dictaphone, barely any quieter. “We have to be prepared…”

I sigh and feel warm breath on my cheeks. Mouth drying I look at my phone for escape and see that Boris Johnson has been admitted into intensive care for persistent and worsening Covid-19 symptoms. I suddenly feel very far from home and very sad.

I remember the things I’ve been doing to keep grounded and my spirits up. One of the benefits of turning out old cupboards was rediscovering my long dormant art materials. Painting, such an absorbing and transporting activity for me in childhood, was once something I considered doing instead of acting, but found it a little socially isolating - so acting won because it felt more collaborative. Now, of course, painting in isolation is perfect and becomes the most comforting of pastimes and a creative channel as I make images of my family and feel like I am spending time with them.

Understanding how superfluous actors are in a crisis such as this, I come to terms with the fact that staying at home, as passive as it may seem, is my contribution for now. Having the luxury of not having to home-school any children and knowing my work is pretty much on pause until social distancing recedes, I try to reframe this time as a chance to rest and refill the creative well. I read novels for pleasure, something I rarely find time for beyond work-related reads. I take my first Zoom yoga class (alexdawsonyoga.com), I join a 21-day online meditation experience (chopracentermediation.com), I take local hikes for fresh air and make first ever batches of banana bread and chicken soup. I even buy a mini trampoline online which, after a mildly challenging self-assembly, I’ve been sweating it out on to streamed classes online (lekfit.com) with a friend in Toronto, followed by accountability FaceTime coffee dates to virtually high five!

By the end of week two, the adrenalin crash truly hits and I’m exhausted from the constant rhythm shifting, news consumption and uncertainty. I’m an eternal optimist and good at self-motivating, but even when you’re Keeping Calm and Carrying on, you need to crash at some point. I nearly cry when I get my mum an Ocado food delivery slot - nothing has been available for weeks - and the “what ifs” that I have been keeping at bay with all my other activities release with relief and gratitude.

That’s when I discover Brené Brown’s new podcast Unlocking Us and find such solace in her calm and thoroughly researched words and conversations. Since her TED talk fame as a charismatic shame and vulnerability researcher, I’ve read all of her books and there is always something practical and nourishing in her work, told with humour and in a deeply relatable way - which I’ve found comfort in while in the midst of folding laundry, cleaning the bath or chopping vegetables.

Back in the food line and things are moving; the tension of the Loud Phone Man Vs Valley Girl dispute still simmers but everyone relaxes as they get closer to the front-door finish line. Smiling Store Employee does his speech on the new system: no reusable bags allowed, sanitised trollies and a one-way system in the aisles inside marked by arrows on the floor, to minimise contact with other customers. It all feels so surreal and regimented, but the Bandits, already drained from the 30-minute wait, constant Loud Phone Man soundtrack, near car park fight and everything else they’re all adjusting to, nod wearily behind their moist makeshift masks. It’s a bizarre sight.

Still chatting, Loud Phone Man makes it in and there’s a collective “phew” eye-contact exchanged between Smiling Store Employee and the remaining Bandits. Then his smile drops and crinkles for a second. “Yeah, he’s been in every day this week. It’s kinda sad. There’s no one on the phone.” The Bandits' brows knot quizzically. “Yeah, I think he has mental health issues, he just talks but the phone’s not on and he has no ear pieces, he just talks into it… 'They’re coming, we have to be prepared.'… I don’t know what to do.”

The reality breaks my heart. It seems to highlight the collective insanity we’ve all been processing and in that moment I just feel so frustrated at the state of the world and how this pandemic has exposed so many cracks in our society - from mental health to healthcare to privilege and poverty, everything just feels so raw.

I try to look for the silver linings and, among all the fear and anxiety and loss, I’ve been so inspired by human resilience, adaptability and creativity. I’m hopeful this great pandemic leveller will bring a new era of authenticity. An opportunity to shift mentality from Me to We.

Week three in self-isolation felt almost normal, which feels weird to admit. I’m getting lots of sleep and take regular meditative baths, which I’ve renamed Home Spa. I’ve found ways to safely contribute in my local community. When the shelves were bare from panic buying, I chatted with the manager of our local grocery store, who seemed so overwhelmed, so my housemate and I volunteered to stack shelves after hours. Although not exactly the front lines, we have fun and it feels good to give something back in our small way.

We of course negotiated to be paid in baked beans and toilet paper.

[heartofsnark]

What's Tsuneko's Fatal Flaw? (and the Bidders, at least in your fanfic or your headcanons for them)

I debated a lot on how to best answer this and how to not just ramble about their mental health problems, like how to best define fatal flaws for them. Because if we just are discussing all of their mental health problems, what fucks them up generally, I’d be here forever. They’re are all extremely dysfunctional human beings with so many issues. So, I’m going into this like, fatal flaw isn’t just what their damage or fears are, but what I feel they do that fucks up their life the most. What do they do, that makes them their own worst enemy. Cause I don’t want it to be a 100 page epic about how fucked up they all are.  Also not including Shuichi, Hikaru, and Luke because they haven’t appeared in the fic yet. Emphasis on yet. 

A lot of Tsuneko’s issues boil down to her feeling like she has no inherent worth, the only value she has is either her successes or what she can do for people. Love is not unconditional, she doesn’t even really believe in love. She genuinely believes that the second she fails or can’t provide some worth, people will be done with her. This leads to what I would consider her fatal flaws, what  fucks her over the most, is Tsuneko’s pride and ambition. She’s spent the vast majority of her life desperately trying to be successful, to prove she matters, to make sure no one would want to leave her and hurt her. And prior to the start of the fic, her ambition lead to her failure and her pride has taken a huge hit. Even now, you see on her day off, she can’t relax. Because, while being a maid isn’t the most prideful work, it’s something. Anything worth doing is worth doing right, she needs to do something, so she’s not completely worthless. Her pride won’t let her slack, won’t let her relax, won’t let her accept help, won’t let her open up, won’t let her trust people, won’t let her be weak, it feeds into her anxiety and her anxiety feeds into her pride. She can’t fail, not again, she’s so sick of being a failure, being worthless, being weak, being pathetic, that’s why no one wants her. She just knows it, she’s convinced everyone sees through her and knows how worthless she is, so she has to fight harder to give them a reason to care. 

Remember, how me and my friend have joked lately on here about how similar Tsuneko and Eisuke are. There’s a reason. I swear to fuck it wasn’t intentional. Surprise, Eisuke is a prideful motherfucker, too! Much like Tsuneko, to my utter dismay, Eisuke fully believes his worth is transactional. He believes he has to prove himself through his successes and what he can provide, in order to mean anything and in order to pay back the insurmountable debt he owes Akira. He has to strive to be and constantly act like he’s the best, because otherwise he is nothing. This fear of being worthless and this need to be successful fuels the other behaviors that turn him into his own worst enemy, much like with Tsuneko to my absolute dismay. Can’t let people in, can’t let them hurt him, he won’t be made a fool of, he won’t have his capabilities called into question, because without his pride or success he is nothing. It also fuels him being a shit communicator which okay, Tsuneko is not a great communicator, she’s still better than Eisuke in that area. He forces this false sense of confidence, that he can just do things alone and he doesn’t need to waste his time explaining himself, because he can just do it alone. 

I do legitimately feel like, if Tsuneko had become a lawyer and was successful, she’d act a lot more like Eisuke. Less fearful on the surface, more stable, but colder and more fake. And I think, if Eisuke had failed in taking over the company, Eisuke would act more like Tsuneko does. More evident fear, more frenetic anxiety over his own worth, but also more human. 

Okay, enough about the prideful disaster children. Soryu, mobster boy. I’m so soft for him lately, he deserves better than anyone has given him. Anyway, Soryu also has some issues with his self worth and seeing himself as a danger, but the thing I think that fucks him over the most and leads to him doing things that hurt him, is Soryu’s undying loyalty.  He does not get close to people easily, not at all, but once you’re close to him, he’d die for you and kill for you within the same day. He wanted to be a detective, wanted away from the Ice Dragons, but he had to ask his grandfather first. He couldn’t just go do it, that’s not fair, he wouldn’t betray his grandfather like that. The second he sees his grandfather’s legacy and idea for the dragons being perverted, he’s abandoned what he wanted and is back in the Ice Dragons to fix it. Because loyalty to his grandfather comes before what he wants. He’s loyal and dedicated to the Ice Dragons as well, they’re family and he will protect them. (I have a headcanon that shows this to the extreme, but I’m saving that for stuff and things) Why is he so aggressive towards Tsuneko (Or MC) at the beginning of things, she’s a threat to Eisuke, not happening. He has and will kill for Eisuke, because while getting either of them to admit it is like pulling teeth, they’re basically family and mean a lot to each other. 

Sweet baby Baba, I’m also very soft for him, he deserves a lot of love. I think Baba’s biggest flaw that messes him up is that he minimizes his own problems and hides behind humor. Look at Baba he’s so funny and goofy, no one has to worry about Baba. Psych, he’s depressed and hates himself. Baba doesn’t like making himself a burden or causing other people trouble, so he buries all of his problems and makes jokes. This of course fucks him over because, surprisingly when you don’t let people know you have problems, they can’t help you or even comfort you. He buries every problem, so nothing is ever fixed. He puts up these walls of joking and being perverted, so no one gets close enough to help him. Every time anyone gets even a little close to poking at that trauma and those hidden depths, he’s brushing them off, making jokes or flirting. This is especially a double edged sword for Baba because so much of his damage comes from feeling isolated and alone, like no one cares. So, he feels alone and isolated and reacts by using humor to keep people at arms length, whice makes him feel detached,  alone and isolated because he won’t let himself build deep connections.  It’s this destructive cycle that just keeps feeding into itself. 

Ota, sweet furry gremlin, who hurt you? Oh, yeah the entire art community. I think what fucks Ota over the most is his duplicitous nature. Ota is two faced, that’s a huge part of his character, he has the real gremlin side and the fake angelic side. This fucks him over in terms of his own happiness, he hates faking the angelic person, he hates having to smile and act nice for cameras. He hates that to keep his career and to keep doing what he loves, he can’t be himself. He’s learned after the initial incident with Doi and Ota being discredited, that he can’t afford another slip up in this industry. No one in the art world gives a damn about if he’s happy, if he feels like he’s being himself. They just want him to play along, give that smile, make the art, and give the press a nice little story. He’s not at a place yet where he can afford not to give them what they want, if he slips up his entire career will be ripped out from under him all over again, and what if next time he can’t rebuild it? Living like this, not only makes him frustrated with himself, it impacts how he interacts with others. He’s not stupid, he knows anyone he meets is either wanting that sickly sweet persona or they’re waiting for a chance to take advantage of him, to undo all this work he’s put into the angelic artist bit.  So, he can’t fully let anyone in, the most they can be is a pet or acquaintance. 

Mamoru has a reputation for being a slothful lazy man and for good reason, he tends to be pretty passive, nap a lot etc. He lets a lot of shit go, especially as a cop given how much criminal activity he sees/is involved with due to the bidders. This nature fucks him over, because he doesn’t want to be like that. Mamoru’s morals as an officer are more important to him than anyone gives him credit before, he was a dedicated and talented cop at one point. Protecting people means so much to him, it’s all he’s ever wanted to do. So, why is he so passive and letting so much slip by when it’s crushing him to be a dirty cop. Well, he started doing it to avenge Minami and well, the whole thing has sent Mamoru into a deep depression. We’ve seen this behavior in Mamoru before, when he was in high school, following his kendo injury. When Mamoru can’t do the things he cares about, he detaches. He can’t bother to see the point in doing anything, he’s already a dirty cop, why bother doing anything else? He’s a failure no matter what. And like a lot of these traits, it becomes a cycle. Mamoru loses Minami, this sends him into depression over how he couldn’t protect someone who meant so much to him, so he can only feel redeemed by avenging Minami in death, which means forsaking the morals he’s now built his life on, which makes him more depressed because he can’t be the clean good cop he wanted to be, his depression makes him withdraw and struggle with doing even basic tasks of cop work (or even life sometimes), which makes him feel even worse about how pathetic he is, which deepens his depression even more. 

Rhion, sweet babby, is a big fan of the coping mechanism of escapism.  So, how does this fuck him up. Well, you see Rhion has spent the majority of his life feeling completely isolated and separate from people. He was put down and mistreated for being weird, being strange. So, like a lot of people he retreated into fantasy. He retreated into fictional worlds where no one could hurt him, eventually taking it to the extreme of creating his own Wonderland, being the Hatter. But doing this, retreating into this own world just isolates him further. He sticks himself in this constant state of wanting friendship, wanting people to come in his life and stay there, but hiding away in fear because he’s terrified of being hurt. 

[gothsic]

☼ - and so... MARIE appears. - @citialiin​​, what will you choose?

perhaps some of you will be surprised to see her face, when she has not been given a chance to speak yet. but why should she, when the truth was that she was quite far away from the situation at hand? yes. she really did want to separate herself from him, but the more she tried, the more impossible it became. somehow, he found ways to sneak into her life - crawl into the spaces that were left behind, growing dusty from neglect.

allow ourselves an intermission from your regularly scheduled despair to get a look into the mind of one annette kaye, whose past as marie samson is one that you are all likely familiar with already. but the trouble is that annie was, quite unfortunately, never allowed to be given a chance away from the rather catastrophic existence that was jonathan vastielle. in a way, she was never going to escape the past - it was always there, ready and willing to catch up with her. and my, what fast feet it had! but perhaps the answer was not to run away, but to acknowledge that it happened, and simply move forward.

it was a shame then, that jonathan had approached her that fateful night - not the one you might all know, but one after a particular incident had happened. and yes, she had been watching from the sidelines; though she wanted nothing to do with him, there was something gratifying about watching him fall from grace. regardless, she maintained her distance; not answered a word he said, not bothered to acknowledge him wherever she might have seen him in the real world ( and yes, he had a troubling way of making his presence known ). but, in a disconcerting twist of events, he had made himself known to her with a crazed grab of her arm as she took the first step up her doorway and tried her best to evade him. she was not going to let him, no, not this time. he could sink back into the misery from whence he came! but, alas, those bloodshot eyes, that quivering lip, all of it begot the phrase he uttered next; shakily so:

“ help me, just... i can’t do this anymore! don’t let me fuck up again... please. “

how uncharacteristic of him. how out of character. that desperate plea, enough to rattle the mind of anyone who heard it, especially disturbed annie that night. was he out of his mind, approaching her there? so obvious? she could have easily called the cops on him, and yet he had still risked it. perhaps it was the alcohol on his breath ( he reeked that night, she recalled with a grimace and turn of her nose ) that gave away the extent of his recklessness. yes. that must have been it. something must have disturbed him enough to resort to this, the escape.

ziggy stardust. that was the key in this puzzle - and across from him she sat in the present. how did it come to be like this, in the middle of this fancy dining room with the candles set out in front of them and her face made-up, hair done, and little black dress that went to her ankles worn due to the restaurant’s dress code? the answer was both simple and complicated, and really did send her often self-conscious mind in a bit of a whirl.

that night, she had humored him, watched him break down in front of her. it truly was a pathetic sight, but also not quite unlike watching a puppy wander lost through the pouring rain, unable to find shelter. he truly did look as though he had no other recourse than to turn to her, the one whom he had treated as his personal therapist for so long. true, part of her fumed that she had even bothered to listen to his drunken ramblings of his monstrousness, his self-imposed isolation, and god knew what else. all she knew by the time he had wiped away at his tear-stained cheeks was the unusual amalgam of varying emotions filling her heart, making her chest hurt: anger, exhaustion, but above all else... sadness. sadness for him, really. he truly was a lost cause. it seemed as though that flamboyant musician really had gotten under his skin, just as she had. and yet... what had she said?

“ if you think you fucked up so badly, just go talk to him. “

however, she doubted that jonathan would even do such a thing in the first place. still, he had come to her, had he not? truthfully, the entire situation was so strange that she, too, found herself getting wrapped up in the entire farce that was being put on display before her very eyes. jonathan... liking someone enough and feeling desperately lonely enough to regret how terribly he treated them? surely, the sky was falling, she thought at the time. the devastation that was present in her eyes had made the situation all the more uncomfortable.

and perhaps that was why she tracked the musician down directly, making sure to grab his attention as best she could.

“ i don’t want an autograph. ...it’s about jonathan vastielle; the guy whose artwork you were supposed to use? just hear me out. “

what was she doing? did she not vow to leave jonathan behind in the quicksand in which he continued to sink? maybe so, and still, she was keeping true to that promise. who knew how many times jonathan was going to come to her home, keep pestering her, make it so that she would have to file a restraining order against him ( though that may not have stopped him in this state ). it was best, she had decided, to get things to a stable end - and perhaps she held some responsibility in the matter. after all, she was marie samson. he had involved her, and she had gotten entangled in his affairs all those years ago.

she really did pity him. that breakdown of his... was there a chance? truly a chance that he could improve? become something better than what he currently was? that sadness and hopelessness in his eyes were not the eyes of the monster who had toyed with her emotions and yet become so ravenous for her. no. it was something else. something... truer to the self that lay trapped behind the wall with its many bricks and foundations, not haphazardly maintained.

a little boy, crying for the chance he never had to truly be good.

“ um, look. “ she paused, brushing a strand of her away from her ear. “ i really did mean what i said earlier. i wanted to talk to you about this because, i think, anyway, that he’s... he’s a complicated case. i would know. i mean, i’ve said that already, but... “

nervously, her fingers toyed with the bridge of her glasses, adjusting them against her nose - pushing them up, though there was no need for adjustment. it was strange, surreal, actually, finally getting a chance to talk for the first time. really talk. sure, she had been honest with him before about the nature of jonathan’s disease ( not any specific, textbook disease, but his entire being ought to have been compared to a rotting corpse - the stench would fill up the lives of any who associated with him, but... ). and yet still, she was here, trying to convince him of something... well, maybe completely mad.

“ he hurt me. yeah. he did; i’ll never forgive him for that, and i’m sure all his past relationships, platonic and romantic won’t forgive him either, but... i don’t know. what he did that night was unlike anything he’d ever done before. it was just... “ a pause, as her gaze glossed over - becoming distant. she stared idly at the flame flickering from the candle, ziggy’s form becoming blurred against its warm light. “ i think he meant it. i don’t think he would’ve come to me so out of character if he didn’t, well... if he didn’t feel so hopeless. i’m just here as an emissary, or... i don’t fucking know, some missionary for the cause of repairing whatever your friendship was. he... i guess he misses you. it’s weird to you, maybe. to me too - he never really says he misses anyone. well... except for me, i guess. that’s why this is so weird. “

she let loose a soft sigh, and managed to glance at him again. he really was an unusual character - so made-up. why jonathan even liked the guy was beyond her ( well, she found him amusing and entertaining, even enjoyed - and owned - some of his music, but he definitely was not jonathan’s usual type ).

“ call this an olive branch. i’m not saying forgive him, but... i dunno. he’s trying. he’s... attempting. i guess that’s better than fucking feeling sorry for himself like he used to. i mean, he’s still there, whining about what a piece of shit he is and being complacent in that fact, but it could be much worse. trust me. it could. “

she scratched the back of the neck, allowing herself a moment to attune her senses the sounds of gentle, humming chatter from the los angeles elite and the equally muted classical piece being played live in the back of the room. clinking of forks, of spoons, of knives... nobody could know the stakes of the conversation at hand.

“ call me a bleeding heart. he’s a fucking mess, but he needs a translator to function, so... here i am. ask me whatever you want about him, and i’ll try to answer. lord knows he needs an actual friend - i mean, you seem willing to deal with him again. that’ll help his case. assuming you two get along again, hopefully that gets him the hell away from me too. “

“ ...so, basically what i’m saying is, if you choose to hear him out, assuming he does, then... just don’t tell him i’m around. i’d rather just fade into obscurity. this is probably the stupidest shit i could possibly do, but... i see the stupid repressed child in him wanting a release, i guess. it deserves to get some respite, even if he’s honestly satan incarnate to a degree. “

[jess-the-vampire]

Sky And The Forces Of The Multiverse, Chapter 23

Previous / Next

-

"I could portal?", the demon girl looked down at her hands, as if memorized by them, " But, i'm not supposed to be able to do that without years of practice dipping down right? I mean, I've just never heard of our mewberty forms letting us.....portal before...it's never been recorded in our history at least...". Sunny of course, was still upset about her recent.....freakout, but what put her more on edge then anything was her abilities, being more overpowered then normal. She sighed, "I got my wand so young......because I was too powerful....I...needed to be able to control my power sooner then other princesses, so....it's just...a little scary to find out...what I can do...when i'm not in control of my own body.". She looked to the people in the room with her, that being for now, galexia, and judas. Judas coming here right after seeing his father, and waiting on the return of sky, and and keeping a close eye on galexia as she drew in the corner, this was lexi's room after all, anyone was welcome. "I know the feeling....it's kinda a personal fear of mine as well..".

"It's always been like this for me...you know? I kinda always felt like me being stuck at home so much, it wasn't just to keep me safe...it was to keep others safe...from me.", sunny's wings fluttered behind her, they were still new, so still soft and weak, it was going to take some getting used to for her. She was used to flying without wings that having wings felt like a bizarre experience, what were her parents going to say if and when she got back home? "I'm sure it's nothing you need to worry about, at least, not right now.....you're back in control of your body, and you seem to have gotten a good hold on yourself...", the smaller demon nodded, "I have.....but, sometimes it's a scare when you have that kinda power....especially when you want to control it.". Sunny always seemed so in control of her powers, almost better then luna was, so her talking about this, especially as dismal as she spoke on the topic, well, it was strange. Sunny was usually so sweet and cheery, and right now, she was far from it. "You gonna be ok?", it wasn't entirely like judas himself was in the best of moods after speaking to his father, but he sure didn't want sunny to feel awful considering all the stuff she must me going through, the stuff that usually seemed to hide behind her smiles. "I'll be ok...I think, i'm used to having strange things happen to me....I just need more time to process it...". He understood, he honestly would ask her further about her magic back home but it didn't seem remotely appropriate right now considering how sunny felt. "It's alright sunny....for the record though.....your butterfly form was incredible...". It seemed to make her feel a little better, smiling and twiddling her fingers together, "Thanks...I just hope i didn't scare you all TOO bad, i know mewberty can be a little....insane....not to mention how long it'll take to clean up my room of evidence...that stuff doesn't come out easily you know? How are you planning to even get rid of it? If one of the underworld servants walks in to clean it they are going to have to report it to well...your parents...". She took a seat next to her older half-brother, who tried to reassure her. "Eclipsa said she'd take care of it...i'm....still not entirely comfortable with her knowing about....you know, but, i do want to trust her. I just hope she doesn't go into any of our minds again, I don't particularly like people invading my privacy like that...", he looked over to lexi, who was still drawing to her heart's content, "Yesterday was such a crazy day my mind feels like it's turned into jelly, i can't entirely concentrate and today hasn't been much better with my dad.... I just hope sky's doing better then me...". "she's talking to angel?" "Yeah, kinda, well....inviting him to hang out....globgor is going to look into his family but we think well.....we might be better talking to angel ourselves to a degree, right now, we're better off as friends then enemies..", she crossed her arms, "Just, i hope you're not doing it just to get information out of him....he's still a person you know? I know i'd hate it if someone became my friend just to use me like that...I know he's kinda weird but, he's still a person...". She pouted, "Awhile back you got mad with me for trying to mess with Loki, for trying to trick him? I was only trying to help but I wasn't going about it the right way, I have friends back home who'd....well I guess they would've seen the situation more harmless then you did, but i get the feeling being tricked or lied to bothers you a lot...". He nodded, "I guess you could say that yeah....", and Sunny nodded, "I made you upset, and....I don't want you to make him upset....i've met monsters like him back home and....", She stopped speaking, but judas seemed to understand what she was getting at. Sunny had a real sympathy for monsters and people that need help didn't she? "I promise, this isn't just because we're suspicious...we do want to be on good terms with him, trust me.", he patted her shoulder in an attempt to comfort her, "With everything going on we need answers, and something is definitely up with angel and we need to look into it, but....I don't want to hurt the guy either....If nothing is really going on and he truly wanted to hang out with us...then.....this can't do any real harm in the end. And hopefully....things work out between us..". She seemed to understand, "Just be careful, he seems like he's going through enough.....I don't think he'd like feeling as though you didn't actually care about him.". Judas knew well enough, and after him being almost friendless aside from sky for most of his life, he wouldn't want to turn into the guy that made someone else feel uncared about either. He just hoped in the back of his mind angel wasn't withholding any dangerous secrets from him, that things could be peaceful between the three of them. There was definitely something strange with him, between him just magically appearing in the castle during the sleepover, to stealing jude's phone, to producing silk again when he shouldn't be able to? Maybe he was indeed overthinking it, it had crossed his mind that he was getting way too paranoid about everyone and everything these days, but he was getting desperate for answers. The biggest issues was mostly going to be getting them from Angel once they confronted him. He was always stern with the boy, but also friendly, despite how tall he was the last thing he ever wanted to do was come off like he was planning to hurt anyone. But if he wasn't careful he might get nothing from him, and only make their relationships with angel worse then they kinda were. He at the very least, could hope the respect they shared between being monster princes from mewni would at least allow the boy to be more comfortable if sky failed. For as long as he remembered the three had never been on the best of terms, even if he wished that were different if he had known he'd sometimes feel as disrespected or as isolated as angel did at times. If there is something on the loose out there, targeting kingdoms, they needed as many allies as they could, and if anyone in this large and insane magical world needed allies and friends at this time of need. It was the boy with extra legs and whose stubbornness matched the one of his best friend most times. No more fights, no more bitter rivalries, no more of angel causing issues. That was the dream, a nice dream at least. "I hope you three become good friends....you know, and nora, nora too.....", sunny sounded sad, her voice growing weak, "If and when we go back home, we're not going to see you anymore most likely....things will go...back to normal, and well....when i'm gone...", she looked over to him with sad eyes, "I hope you all well....are happy...at least, I want to think about you all being happy together, you, sky, angel, nora, mason...landon....all of you.". "I'm gonna miss you too sunny....it's well....it's nice to have a little sister...", sunny smirked, eyes glistening, "Well, it's kinda cool to have an older brother, i've always been so used to being the oldest I've never known what it was like to have a protective older brother looking out for me....I-I hope maybe...we can just...find a way...to talk again, when all of us go home....you know? Think about it, you could meet my friends and they could meet yours and.....it's a nice thought..". "Yeah, yeah it is....the future is always a little funky and even when your reassure yourself things will be easy it can still come back to you but....the though helps, that maybe...everything will work out.". "GUYS!", the door swung open, sky walking in, frantic and.....happy? Catching the attention of both part-demons who were momentarily scared but relaxed and eased as the princess looked the happiest she'd been in awhile. "I think......it actually worked...?". "You asked angel out?", Sunny asked, jokingly, eyebrow raised. "Uh, No......but I think, we're kinda....sorta.....friends? Maybe...well, I actually think he wants to hang out..", Judas stood up, half surprised and half in utter joy, "You actually got him to want to hang out with us? Wow I thought it would take longer but.....sky that's wonderful! What happened?". Sky shrugged, knowing full well the entire situation was kinda awkward to explain , "Well, we kinda fought together and he kinda freaked out and I actually...comforted him? And well we.....he actually.....admitted to well...not liking his actions, that they weren't helping and we.....hugged.". "You hugged?" "Don't make it weird! But yeah....he sorta...cried into my shoulder..". "He cried?! " "Yeah, he kinda went haywire for a sec and i guess it scared the heck outta him and he kinda needed to vent and talk to someone and I was just kinda there and ...look, it's not that important how it happened! I think we just....had a "Bonding moment" and well, he actually smiled, at me.....it's kinda strange when i actually talk about it." Sunny looked rather giddy, "He SMILED?! Awwwww!! That's really sweet! Did you get his number? You could-". "Sunny, angel doesn't have a compact, remember?", judas reminded the small girl, thinking back, "for several different reasons but considering he has to steal mine off me, yeah it's clear he never had one he could easily access, and to order food for some reason too....so that's kinda odd, but yeah, we'd have to go to him to hang out...though, his parents most likely would think we were there because he did something....and our parents still are on high protection of us...". "So how do you even plan on spending time with him? " "Simple", Sky said, not very happy with the solution but knowing full well where it was going, "I'm going to have to talk with my mother..". It didn't sound that bad without context but her mother wasn't very fond of Angel's antics and the only way they could avoid most issues was for angel to come to them And angel can't come to them, without Star herself intervening. Fantastic. - 'Hey celeste...", landon caught up with the girl, a little spring in his step and a compact being placed into his pocket and celeste could only assume what...or who was now putting him in better spirits. "Um....how did things uh...go....with sunny? I'm not talking to judas so....I kinda thought you'd tell me but you've kinda ignored me....", She simply grumbled, her mind feeling as if it were fighting with each other, should she say something or not? By the sounds of it Judas hadn't made it public to the whole group yet , was he even going to? Was everyone just planning on not telling luna anything? Including her? If the Nora stuff was any indication, they were definitely not telling them everything that was going on, sneaking out to see a girl? Seriously? Where were their priorities at if they were sneaking out to see someone else unless it has to do with their current task of finding their way home? It was like being stuck between a rock and a hard place, she was pissed at luna but she was also pretty pissed at judas and sky for keeping more secrets from her. Even if they may of been warranted from someone like luna. She was so lost in thought she only just now noticed landon snapping his fingers in front of her, keeping an eye on the guard following celeste nearby, "Look, we have to talk because if we don't so something and luna finds out, I kinda get the sense she'd wipe our memory or something and I'd....rather she didn't...you have to do some some questioning to figure out what's so...weird about sunny and I have to look at sky's wand and well, we kinda need to talk if we want to do our own investigating I guess..". "You still want to work with uh...luna? You seemed pretty mad with her...". "I don't like her, trust me, but....I've been doing some thinking and well.....I still want you to go home....So, i'll put up with it, but only if it means we figure out what's going on around here.....because If i catch that stupid guy who did this well, imagine that.", she could see a glint of joy in his eyes and suddenly she understood where this was headed, "No more hiding in that private box huh? You just plan on going out there and capturing the guy yourself?". "Oh you bet, i'm freaking sick of this, sick of no one knowing who i am, sick of my brother being more important, sick of people like that girl stomping all over me. I was about to back up, thinking i made a mistake in getting involved in this against my brother, but you know what? Maybe this is just what i need to show him and everyone else, you and me, we work together to figure this out, we'll get what luna needs but we capture the guy together...we both show the others we're not useless..". "You're serious? We team up and work on this together?". "I'll show them....I'll show them all...", he was definitely serious, his violin strapped to his back and his three eyes looking dead forward, "We both will, if luna and everyone else wants to tear us down...we'll shown them what we're made of...". His attitude was so....unlike landon, not to say landon never did anything, but that the boy rarely ever seemed happy or eager to get involved in anything when she'd seen him, she had a feeling luna's words got to him more then he let on. Was he really that mad? She'd seen him mad before but mad enough to push himself into situations he didn't normally like doing? She almost felt like she should talking him out of it, but social interaction wasn't her strong suit, maybe if she was lucky he'd back out of it himself, though right now she just decided to shake it off. She might be overthinking it, if the dude wanted to take charge and prove himself she couldn't really be the kinda person to ruin that for him. "Do you even have a plan?". "Sorta....". "Sorta??!!". "Look, Sunny kinda sorta lives with you, you can talk to her....she's an open book right? Just...ask about her and what's up with her.....why does luna even want to know about that anyway?", his partner shrugged, looking behind her at the guard who wasn't paying too close of an ear to their words, "I assume she just finds it kinda weird this 14 year old girl is more stupidly powerful then she is.....honestly are you surprised? It is freaking weird how good she is at magic...and she's younger then me.". Well, actually, landon had barely ever seen the girl do magic, so he technically had no reason to really know now that she thought about it, but whatever. She shook her head and moved on, "Anyways, I think luna's on edge, the longer she's been here the more and more on edge she's been getting, maybe she thinks....sunny did it?", his eyebrows were raised and his hands were placed in his pockets. "Sunny? But Sunny doesn't really seem to have much interest in like....I dunno, doing anything to hurt anyone? I mean, you've seen her, she eats dinner with our family and she's kinda....well....not really sinister...". "Well, she's also a pretty good actor I believe.....", Celeste mumbled, "I dunno, I think at one point she mentioned being in plays back home and you've seen how she talks to your dad and can get what she wants out of people, I mean....what if she's a better actor then we thought? She seems to have a way with people...". "Yeah, but she's also not tall enough to be under that outfit.....well, i guess unless she flew...but still, like....remember the portal thing? She can't be in two places at once, we were ALL there!", he had a good point, "I mean, unless.....but no, sunny doesn't know anyone else around here enough to have a accomplice, she's in a whole new dimension....and that doesn't explain sky's wand and all this other junk or why she'd do these things... and UUGGHHHH!". "Look, let's just work on talking to her and looking at the stupid wand...though, I dunno what she expects you to do with the wand...stare at it? I mean, if she holds it it would just turn into her wand so....", he grumbled and scratched his head, "I dunno, i've known sky for a long time, seen her use magic all the time, and I don't know enough about it to even know what i'm looking for! I mean, nothing seems wrong about it from the outside....I think...". "Take some pics or something, I dunno....I apparently have to learn to "Socialize" and talk to sunny....", she was clearly not too keen on having the task where she had to smile and make friends and she threw her arms up in the air, "Like, i HATE talking to most people, because most people are annoying and treat me like garbage and I have to try and get information nicely out of them? Like, Ugh.....luna sounds like my mom back home, trying to get me to make friends..". "Really?". "Don't your parents ever just....y'know....make you do these things? Try to help you make friends? Try and make you into what they want to make you into?", he shook his head almost immediatly, "Our parents never really pressured us into anything....being....anyone, judas was gonna be king but....our parents preferred we had y'know....freedom to make our friends and persue our hobbies...you know, i was shut inside my room a lot....my parents didn't try and force me into anything...". "Huh.....", she pondered over that for a moment, before turning her head away, "Well, I guess you're lucky then...". She went silent as she felt landon touch her shoulder gently, trying to comfort her," Look, I-I'm sure you can do it, don't give up...just.....be yourself or something, you can probably get what you need.". She didn't seem all that optimistic about his words but took them anyway, Well, I uh.....hey.....let's head to my room, I think there are some things from yesterday you outta know. He understood, following her. "Hey uh....is it weird to ask if....you know, why do you fall back on things you say you want to do? Like....You said awhile ago you wanted to use magic, use it to help...but don't use it..., and you hate talking about your home...but want everyone to spill their guts....it's kinda weird...". "Why do you care?". "I dunno, it's just...sometimes...It feels like you say things...looking for a fight....but don't actually mean them...". She went silent, before brushing him off, "C'mon, move it....and keep your voice down...". She really didn't want to talk about her problems right now, and just focus on getting this dumd mission done so luna didn't explode. Sunny was an interesting choice of a suspect, but her being in two places at once was an odd thing to explain for now. However, she was not the only monster/mewman that could be under suspect of being responsible behind this. Now, she knew there was another as gears turned in her mind. Meteora. - "You finally ready to go talk to her?", judas sighed, watching sky as she held out the pendent Katrina gave her, sky sighing to herself, knowing he was going to see nora alone today to tell her his progress, in which, there was none of course. Nothing to present to her besides the fact his father would be considering the whole thing, judas would be more then fine on his own of course, though he did seem sad his friend would be sneaking off somewhere else. "Guess I've been stalling long enough...huh?", she was partially laughing, but it was true, she had kinda been stalling for a long time from when katrina first told her she could contact her at any time using this...thing she supposed. Maybe something about going out there to find her made her anxious, maybe she was worried this was a set up for some bizarre elaborate trap, or maybe she was just scared she'd find her and talk to her and come back with nothing. She clutched her wand in her hands, anxious about it and using it before examining the pendent, "I'm not even sure how to use the thing honestly, it's not like this came with any instructions, or katrina told me much, just that this pendent is supposed to help me find her...somehow...". Upon close inspection the pendent was quite decorative, with a few green gems on it, but it wasn't particularly very helpful to point her the right way, because of course it wasn't. Ugh, Spies. Judas carefully took it out of her hands, looking it over closely, "Katrina.....you could at the very least write a note if you wanted to allow us to find where you go", he turned the pendent in his hands and bit at his lips, "I'm not sure sky, maybe you should try using your magic or something?". He was met with silence as he put his hands in his pockets, "You don't have to go, I mean, not tonight at least, you can come with me and nora and we'll talk and you can figure this out later...". "No it's cool, the arm thing is mostly your business anyway,  I just....there's gotta be something here...katrina knows us....there has to be something about it to help....the chick is a freaking spy, if anyone knows wat's happening outside of these walls, she would", he smiled, giving her a small hug before standing back up, "Well, if that's the case, i know you'll figure it out, call me if you figure out anything...ok? We'll talk soon enough, I believe in you....ok?". She smiled and watched him teleport away, staring at the pendent and getting a little more frustrated over time. It was nice for them to be on good terms again, reliving actually, sky could be stubborn as all heck sometimes but judas was probably the one person who could get her to soften so easily. She missed having his support and things sorta seemed to be looking up a little more recently between them being back to normal and angel and her actually seemingly working things out at a decent pace. She wished he could stay and help but, honestly after their stupid fight the last thing she wanted to do was ask too much of him. Plus, this thing with Nora mattered a lot to him personally and no doubt she would be the worst friend ever if she tried to take that away from him. She probably should take advantage of this situation to handle more matters without judas, though she kinda was always under the impression in their duo he was better suited to figuring out puzzles and stuff like this. Even if people were encouraging her that she was pretty competent on her own with magic, she doubted they could argue for her knowledge considering how much studying annoyed her and that she was far from the most knowledgeable about mewni. But she stalled this enough and she had to figure this out, at least, if only because judas was counting on her and believed she would figure it out herself. "Ok.....what am i supposed to do here...how do I find you....ugh...think sky, think like a spy....". She rolled the pendent around and looked closer at the gems, one was a little bit bigger then the other when she took a better look at it, but that was probably for decorative purposes. The she turned the pendent around, looking at it's bare back and scratching at it, "Think think......like...ok.....well, Katrina knows I like to make hats....so maybe....it has something to do with that? But this is like...jewelry! That's.....that's not the same thing! Ugh....maybe I just....". She placed the pendent on her hat, the chain around one of the ears as she frustratingly sat it there, all out of ideas, grumbling, "Ugh....this is freaking stupid....". The pendent, as if it could hear here, hit her in the eye as she moved. "OWWW! Ugghhhhh, c'mon.....". Then she froze, the gem right in front of her eye as she held it closer to her eye. Everything was green. It was a freaking spyglass to hook onto her hats, my god. And then she held it out towards the window. "Are you kidding me..." - "You came! Bluebell!", Katrina wrapped her arms around sky, holding her tightly, "It was about time, I would've thought you'd be more eager to see my other outside work....". Sky huffed and puffed as she pulled up her pendent, the one katrina gave her, "Well, this thing didn't exactly come with instructions, I had to use this weird spyglass thing at my window, till i found some weird blinking thing in the distance, to find your location, and then i had to SNEAK outside of my room to find you...". She looked over the the green gemstone on top of the wall, the stones were clearly linked somehow to find katrina magically but sky still seemed mad about going through so much effort to make it where she should've been countless times before now if she hadn't been so lazy. "And it took you THAT long? it's been weeks!" "What? No! Things just kinda....got in the way", she felt embarrassed, she should've come sooner, and she promised everyone she would, and still didn't do it. Her procrastinating seemed to never fade did it? Katrina still seemed delighted to see her though, smiling from her hideout, atop the ruins of a giant wall, clearly broken from a past war no doubt. Did she really spend her days watching things from atop a ruined wall?  What would she normally even find up here? "Ah, what kinda things?", she was smiling a toothy smile and the mewman groaned. "Trust me, nothing THAT special, but....I'm sure you've heard about the whole....."Masked thief" thing going around? The entire kingdom is kinda in a huff because of it, not to mention security is way tighter to avoid them sneaking back in...". Katrina seemed to get it almost immediately, her eyes diverting to the scene in front of her, "Oh, I know exactly what you mean Sky, I've been on watch for her ever since I heard...I think the monsters have been paranoid about her being a mewman out to get vengeance or something..". "A mewman out for vengeance?". "Yeah, against the royal families for allowing monsters rights and such? You know what some mewmans are like about monsters or half monsters these days.....you're not even a monster and you deal with some flack, i think there have always been rumors for awhile about....secret cults or assassins out to put things back to normal, most of it comes from paranoia of course, but spies like me have caught some crazies out there on the job sadly...you don't think Princess Spiderbite is kept at home or the Lucitor princes are restricted on where they go and what they do for no reason do you? There are dangerous people out there...". "And...you think this is one of them?". "Yes but....you should be careful....because i'm also hearing...you're under suspect from the commission..". "You...hear a lot of things through the grapevine huh?", she had almost forgotten the commission thought she was responsible for the destruction of the archives and tried to take her wand away, it had been awhile since being under suspect had even been brought up and judas made no mention of it when he went to meetings with his parents. Though then again, talking about his best friend like that in front of him would've been a stupid move for them anyway. "Word gets around bluebell......especially when the kingdoms become more heavily guarded and the royals don't leave without bodyguards....besides, you know me, spying is a part time job for me...things slip through the cracks eventually...for example, I assume Judas is out to meet that slime girl?". Sky's eyes widened, then she groaned, "Ugh, does EVERYONE know about that besides our parents? Cause we haven't even done it for very long!". "Oh no, just me....I can see a lot from this point, plus I'm probably keeping better eye on your then the guards anyways..."., she was partially laughing but did seem a little concerned, "Don't worry, I won't snitch, just be careful out there....there's been some weird stuff going on and I'd rather neither of you got hurt on my watch. I know you both can take care of yourselves but if I know you're sneaking out and something happens....that's on me.". "What...weird stuff have you been seeing exactly?". "It's hard to explain, though you know that ponyhead kid? He's been wandering around a lot during the night, I can spot him in the woods sometimes, other times....I spot other people out there, the high commission for one but I can't tell if it's part of their job or not, and some people out there are meant to be out there anyways...". Loki had been wandering around in the woods huh? Yeah, that didn't seem to suit the kid, though it peaked her interests drastically. "Loki's under heavy guard to keep him from running off, he hasn't been like....tagging me or judas for weeks since they locked him up...". "Really? Cause I'm sure it's him...". "Well, judas has said he's been acting strange, tired, more paranoid....dazed....". She hummed and went back to looking over the wall, pulling out binoculars, "That's not a good sign, do you know if he sleepwalks...er....floats? Perhaps he's lacking in rest as a result? Being out in the woods these days, not a good idea....I've tried to catch him, but he's too fast, even for me....and those woods....easy to get lost in. I've been sending reports to his parents you know, but either they aren't listening or whatever they're doing....isn't working..". "You know anything....else going on...that's odd?". "Well, a spy can't tell you everything blue girl...however....i'll tell you this, the high commission are still onto you, be careful, they're looking for more evidence to convict you and the only thing standing in their way of coming to you sooner is your mother..", guess regardless of her mixed feelings towards her mom, she was at least the one thing keeping her from being trialed by the high commission for possible crimes. "You have them on edge, take it from me though, i personally think someone's trying to frame you. That or...the commission is all too eager to remove you from the throne.....". "You think they would do that?". "I put nothing past them after what they pulled with Eclipsa years ago, they're no longer the credible all mighty magic users mewni once saw them. Pretty sure the reason they aren't fired is they don't have anyone to take their place.....but they are still have you under suspicion sky, just....don't trust them, I think they want to believe you're the one under that mask, that your friends are just covering up for you, the stunt that happened with the chandelier? It was only the beginning of trying to make you out worse then you are...". "I got mad during that.....my mom...". "Isn't understanding all the time, or perfect, I know....it's not entirely your fault she leaves you so....emotionally upset. Though, as someone who knew her, she struggled a lot as well, I mean "Fixing" magic? Dying and coming back to life? She went through a lot, and she was just around your age if not younger when she did....and then, she grew up, she kinda had to grow up fast going through all that....she never intended to be so....."Y'know"?". "I guess....". "That's life sometimes, things happen and there's not much you can do about it, your mom wants the best for you she's probably just not...."Good" at expressing that, it's ok though. You'll get through it, you're getting better at magic right?", she held out her wand, "Yeah, I am....i mean...my mom started training me and It did some good....but...I also failed a lot....but then eclipsa started helping and...of all people out here, ANGEL sorta made me realize a lot of the reason I screw up....is cause i lack like...confidence....or well...i'm emotionally messed up..". "Angel? Awww, that's sweet...". "Don't make it creepy.". "Oh don't worry, I just think sometimes you can learn just as much from your enemies, as your friends. And besides, angel is nice boy, sometimes a little stupid and inconsiderate, but a nice boy. I suppose your mother teaching you specifically would make things more complicated wouldn't it? Well, don't worry about it.....your friends will-". Then she went silent, touching sky's shoulder, "Shh, quiet....there the boy is....wandering around again?". Sky looked up and over the wall, squinting. "Uhh....I don't see loki anywhere, I mean...he's bright green....". "That's because he wears a black costume blue girl...., but if you look close enough you can make him out despite that....here", she handed sky her binoculars and sure enough, the outline of a pony could barely been seen as the prince rapidly moved through the woods, "Well, if he's putting on a costume, he's out for a reason....you think he's looking for something?". "Not sure, just know he's scared a lot of villagers passing by because he's so fast and hard to make out...."., the frog woman eyed sky, "I'm not supposed to leave my post tonight since my usual partner ain't here but.....you think we should catch him? I've tried tailing him but he's too fast, but maybe....", she looked to sky's wand and back to her, "You're not perfect I know, But....if you're improving as much as you say you are....see if you can catch that rouge prince before he gets back home, i'll cover for you if you get caught...". "Catch him? You mean go over there and rope him?". "Yep....ever lassoed a stray warnicorn? It's like that....except....it's flying...though, might wanna be careful considering he's royalty. If you can catch him we might be able to find out what he's doing, his parents never listen to me otherwise i'd go to their kingdom and ask myself but....yeah, you know them...". She grabbed the binoculars back as she examined the surroundings, "If you can catch that guy, we might get to properly confront him on this right here, right now...". "You sure we couldn't wait...?". "It'd make good practice....just be careful of the horn, and maybe magic possibly, but it might help you more to use magic in action.", she noted, and she was indeed right. Sky was thinking for a bit, well, if she did catch him she might be able to find out some info, but then again, loki usually lacked anything of interest, even angel at the very least, was fascinatingly annoying, loki was straight up a burden most of the time, and if he weren't being kept in his room he probably would've caught onto sky's little secret uncomfortably fast and blabbed it to the world. "Here.....you are now spy, spies wear this...", she handed sky a dark mask to hide her face, "Here....put this on, might help him have a harder time noticing you...I don't know what he's doing down there, but I think we'll both be better off knowing.". She needed only to look at the mask for a second before grabbing it and pulling it over her head, "Alright, I'll give it a shot, I don't promise i'll catch him though, I have no idea what he's even doing out there...". "Well whatever it is, we outta find out...". Sky creeped away from the way, sneaking over towards the edge of the woods, wand in hand and eyes looking out for sudden movements, she and judas had gotten into a few scrapes, never really to go after anyone of course, but she had recalled times where sneaking around and having your hair stick up on edge was incredibly common for their adventures, that was the thing about mewni at least, you never know what to expect and so much out there was deadly enough to kill you in an instant. Especially out there in the woods. Loki was lucky he hadn't been hurt yet out there, was he using magic against anything that could've killed him? He was pretty cowardly, too cowardly to really fight back that much, too cowardly to sneak into the dark woods at night where he could easily be kidnapped or hurt or worse out there. Maybe he really was sleepwalking or something? Though that probably just meant he should be slamming into every tree he came across, breaking his horn easily. She gripped her wand tighter as she peeked further into the woods, feeling a breeze as something flew past her fast. And then stopped in it's tracks, much to her surprise. "L-Loki?". He turned. He didn't seem normal at all, his eyes were glowing and she couldn't even see the prince's pupils, she barely had time to think when he darted for her and her wand, sky ducking and the prince missing her by a few inches. What? was he trying to impale her or something? He wasn't sleepwalking, that was for sure, he was under some kind of spell. And something about sky and her wand seemed to call to him, he darted again for her and sky put her wand out at him, aiming to hit him. Without hurting him of course, or judas would be PISSED. But then he stopped in his tracks, right in front of the wand, transfixed by it in fact. Sky was panting, shocked by the sight in front of her, was he responding to her being a magic user or something? Did it even really matter? She roped him no trouble with her licorice spell though, right around his mouth, pulling him along and back to katrina, who looked just as stunned as sky was as she got a close look at the spell cast prince. "You caught him...rather....easily....", Katrina reached out to touch the prince's face, he didn't react, whatever spell he was under made him kinda stiff other then the floating his species normally was capable of. "Does he...recognize me? Why would he stop?", Katrina didn't seem to know herself, "Right now, let's just get him home, "Or correction, I'll get him home, you probably shouldn't say anything....I need to report this one sky, he's clearly been tampered with magically. We won't be able to question him till he snaps out of it...and who knows how long that might...last..". Sky circled him, in fascination, "Does this mean...someone's been using him for something?". "It would explain his vanishing for awhile, seems he was an easy target to take control of..", she snapped her fingers in front of his glowing eyes and hummed to herself, taking rein of the "Rope" sky was using. "You better leave blue girl, not safe if masked person is taking control of others for their own benefit. Your safety is incredibly important and I can't risk you ending up like him....". Sky really couldn't argue with that if she tried, though he felt shivers go up and down her spine as she removed the mask she was wearing. "S-should I tell judas? About this?". "The sooner the better, if he's here it's highly likely the masked one isn't too far away...". "Alright, I'll-". Then before her eyes, Loki's eyes returned to normal, the prince fainting and falling only to be caught by katrina quickly, he came to shorty after, dazed and very much confused. He looked between the monster and half-mewman and blinked at them, "Uh....what? Sky, you're kidnapping me? Where you taking me? Tell me you're taking me away from my parents....". Sky gave him a look, and the pony went back to floating, his hair waving and gills working as normal. "Uh....w-why are you staring at me....is...what am i wearing?!...ugh...", he seemed drowsy, even if he wasn't in control of his body, his body still seemed to have all the same affects it normally would've if he had had them, he still seemed a little out of it and katrina looked back to sky as loki finally noticed he had been roped. "Don't worry your highness, I'll explain later, c'mon....we're heading out....", she looked over to sky and motioned to her spyglass, "I'll lead you back home, follow, but once we get back, don't come looking for me anytime soon....I'll come to you next time we need to talk...". "Wait, what's going on...I-I..", she shushed loki, "C'mon, we move.....". And she was out of sight quickly after, tugging the prince behind her as sky grabbed her things, summoning her bat-winged cloudy to catch up. - "Landon...sweetie?", Marco knocked on the boy's bedroom door, hearing a small "Yeah?" from the other side. Marco opened the door to find the boy.....reading a book on magic? And Celeste was with him in the corner, writing something. Marco didn't pay her much mind though, wanting to see their son specifically. Landon looked up at the sight of them and seemed a little embarrassed, he wasn't entirely over the fact he dissapointed Marco as badly as he did. "Hi mom......", he was flipping through the book, specifically on the pages about the butterfly wand, the recorded gemstones it had had in it's history and such, finding any info he could on his mission, his knowledge of sky's wand was limited, but maybe....if he knew more about it......he might have an easier time getting a hold of it and finding out what about it had suddenly gotten luna's attention. Maybe he could figure it out himself? Before she or anyone else could? Though his mom entering the room was a bit of a distraction as he put the book down, he just hoped it wasn't anything.....bad, he was getting a little too used to getting bad news for his liking and he especially hated hearing it come from his mother of all people. But his mother seemed rather happy, their first instinct being to ruffle their son's hair, being mindful of his sharp horns, "I'm glad you made another friend landon, you called bernard recently? I'd like to have him over at some point....so we can all get to know him...". "Mommmmmm~", he was giving her a childish grumble but his mom only seemed to laugh and find it adorable. "C'mon, I think it's a good idea, sky's been over for meals so many times in the past but you've never invited a friend over for dinner to meet the rest of us, I think it'd be nice for all of us to get to know him a bit better, well, as long as his parents were cool with it. I know the whole "being rulers of the underworld" thing, doesn't work with everyone...". "Well, I'll ask, I....I do want him to come over.....soon...", he couldn't see if but he had a feeling celeste was smirking and rolling her eyes from her seat, "You think he'll be cool with......all this? I mean, he saw a little of it and he says it'll be fine but....". The human covered his mouth, "Don't worry about what he thinks, if he can't accept your home and culture, then you can find better friends out there who do care about you and your culture...ok?". The queen removed their hand and landon sighed, "I-I guess....". "Anyways, I came here because I have a package for you....from your brother..", as if by magic, which it probably was, marco pulled out a box from behind them, a rather long box in fact. It didn't take long for Landon to get an idea about what it was, he just was mixed about taking it. His mother though, seemed entirely aware of this, their attitudes to each other at more recent dinners and such most likely gave it away rather quickly since landon was maybe a little too easy to read for his mom. "Open it.....please? I know you two are still mad at each other but.....at least see what he got you...". He sighed but complied, ripping open the package and the paper being used to cushion the object as he found....a new violin bow. Oh yeah, judas did promise him a new one awhile back didn't he? It was beautiful though, back and red with a small wooden skull carved on the top. He stared at it, at a loss for words when he noticed a note in the box as well, pulling it out and looking over it. Yep, it was clearly from his older brother, and he almost considered scrapping it for a moment. But his mom was there and....well....he'd kinda be the worst if he did that, wouldn't he? Sigh --------- Landon, I don't want us to keep fighting like this, but i know you don't want to speak with me so for me this was the best way I could talk to you. Listen, I don't mean to make you feel however you feel, whether it makes you feel inferior or unliked or....that our family prefers me. I never asked for this, to be cursed and have to deal with people either despising me, fearing me, or so sympathetic towards me that....it makes you and others feel insignificant. I feel like a burden sometimes, personally, especially to our family who have to spend so much time arguing about taking care of me or trying to help me that even asking for help feels like crossing a line to some degree. I don't like being the guy everyone is worried about or is pressured to be so many things or i'll blow up like a bomb. You're lucky landon, you're free to do what you want, no pressure, to go out there and make a name for yourself. Mewni has already decided both those things for me, and it's something I have to deal with whether i want it or not. I never meant to come off like i didn't care, you know how much i hate hurting my friends or family members, you're still my brother and I don't want us to keep fighting. We need to talk about this stuff more, in person, I'm not mad with you, and you don't me owe me anything but, just understand I never intended for things to go this kinda way in our relationships. Maybe i could've better, about everything...and maybe I sound kinda bad by trying to make any kind of excuses in this, I guess it just doesn't feel...fair to be blamed for something that's just....out of my control. But If you need a real apology, because i REALLY don't want to come off like i'm trying to guilt trip you...can we talk? In person? We should talk and sort this out, together. I hope you like the bow, It finally came in after awhile and I figured this was the best place i could leave a note since i promised you a bow. just....tell me when, ok? Judas. -------- Landon put the note back in the box quickly, a fast reaction and most likely a resort of his lingering anger. But his face softened a little and marco sighed, "Listen, you can't stay mad at your brother forever, you know how badly he hates hurting you or sky or anyone, he's not perfect but he does love you and mason. This.....this feels more like something you have with me and your father, not with him. And.....we're sorry if you ever felt like we treated you any different". Oh boy, this was NOT the conversation he expected to get today. No sire. He could hear celeste coughing awkwardly from her spot as his mom continued to speak, "Listen, things are rough lately, especially since all the kingdoms are paranoid and the high commission themselves are failing to help solve the problems despite our efforts, but right now, we need to work things out between us, not create a bigger divide. We love all of you and maybe we're not the world's greatest parents but you should speak up about this....if you feel.....like this.". "It just wasn't...". "Landon, we're your parents, you should be able....to talk to us...about these things, if you're afraid to speak to us then....we feel like we failed you three as parents. And you three are our whole world....", landon frowned, his ear twitching as he could hear celeste was no longer writing, in fact, she most likely was listening to the words of the human very closely in fact. Celeste of course, took no interest in in talking about her family back home, but he got the feeling whatever his mom was talking about....meant something to her. "Mom....it's...It's complicated...". "Well, when it came to my parents? For awhile we were kinda distant from each other....they barely talked to me and I barely talked to them and we were growing apart.....and when we realized it, we realized we needed to fix it and mend our bond again. Landon, talk to us....please...if you need to, and we'll do our best to fix whatever's been bothering you...at it's roots. We want to be better for you and your brothers if possible....", they sighed and took a seat on the bed, "You and your brother need to talk, work things between you, we need to sort this all out...". Landon grumbled and Marco gave him a look, making him quiet down and sigh, "Ok, sure....I guess...". This seemed to ease the human, putting their arm around landon in a sort of side hug, "He's your brother landon, you can't stay mad at him forever, look out for each other...alright?". Landon looked up at the human sadly, "And mason?", rewarded with another laugh and head rub from his mother. "Of course, he's your little brother after all, he needs you too as he grows up...". "Is he....ok?". "Well, lately he's been hanging around the stables more recently, since he's in trouble for his plants his garden time and what he takes care of has been more...restricted, we should've kept a closer eye on him and that was on us....however, the skeleton horses are fine as long as he's careful, but you know how much he loves animals. I think he just needed some time away from the garden for a little bit to get some fresh air somewhere else, he's still being kept an eye on though," they winked, "The stables are luckily indoors thankfully...considering the horses don't need to graze...". "I'm sorry mom..". "No, you're still a teenager, i remember being your age, being a moody teen who thought i knew better and had my life figured out....before i realized i was being a complete idiot. We both, me and Tom, we knew this kinda stuff was coming when we wanted to be parents...we just don't want to make the same mistakes our parents might've made and just be the best we can be. We just want you all to have a good future, and if we're letting you down.....that's rough for us...", but they smiled, laughing to themselves. "It'll be fine landon, you're a smart boy, let's all just try and do better in the future, ok?". Landon felt his head lean on his mother's shoulder, on instinct, and was he...crying? "It's alright.....just relax....let it all out...", They were looking over to celeste, hoping they weren't embarrassing their son by having this conversation, but it didn't seem to be a big concern of landon's. He wiped at his eyes, trying to calm down, "Ugh...mom can't you just let me be a bitter and mad teen?". Which seemed to make them both laugh as landon felt some of his usual makeup run down his face, great, now he'd have to wash up before it stained his clothes. Though his mom kissing at his face seemed to draw his attention elsewear as he swatted at them playfully, "Sorry, as your mom I refuse to let you stay bitter and mad at your brother for the rest of your life, it's a important rule for me as a parent.". Landon snorted at them, dear god he was still mad at judas but he knew well that his mom had this kinda affect on him, if anyone in this family could talk him into doing something, it would have to be marco. "M-MOM, Celeste is here!", he said, half amused, half annoyed. "That didn't bother you before, c'mon.....you're never too old to get kisses from your mom!", marco tugged them close to affectionate peck them more and landon was reduced to nothing but laughs before his mom finally, FINALLY let up, Landon red-faced and actually smiling. "I-I'll talk to judas...I guess....but...I'm still kinda mad at him....I can't really help it". Marco seemed to understand though, nodding along, "If you've felt that way for years, it's hard to blame you....but...please talk with each other...ok?". "Yeah mom....". Celeste went back to scrawling, trying to ignore the scene going on nearby, even though she was very much lost in thought at this point in time. Thoughts swarming of back home and she found the pen dropping from her hands once again despite her protests. Swatting away little tears before they could streak down her face. - "I'm sorry Nora...I know you were hoping for more from me today but it's gonna take longer to get what we need.". He sounded guilty as he paced around the princess's room, biting at his lips and crossing his arms, his ears twitching and listening for any signs of trouble during this meeting. He could spot nora taking small notes for her journal as she listened to him speak, but even though at times she seemed to be shyly avoiding eye contact with him, he could tell she looked worried about him, well, more worried then what he had been used to with her in the past. "Jude, i-it's fine, i didn't expect you to get it immediately anyway...your dad is nice, i'm sure he'll come around, he just needs....time...like he said. Let him have time and we can look more into this stuff in the meantime...", he nodded, she was kinda right, he was thinking about this way too much, worrying way too much. There were other matters to worry about as is and he should take advantage of the time he had here while it was still going. He felt he couldn't help it in a way though, even if he knew it was stupid. "Y-you're right, i guess i'm just stressed out...and confused and...a lot is on my mind these days..."., it was true, in the last few days he got hit with WAY too many things at once, way too many things he wanted to still talk about, mostly with sky. It was as if one problems was being topped off with another and he wasn't given enough time to recover from the last even though he wanted to desperately, he'd been trying to focus on everyone else today to distract him but it was a lot harder now, when Nora's prime focus was him. Being calm and trying to stay cool seemed to have escaped from him these days, he was trying so hard to be the most responsible and the biggest adult in the room and now all he felt like doing was letting everything out of his system, he supposed maybe he had been letting all these matters grow inside him for too long, he almost made himself the ringleader of this entire situation and having that topped off with so many other problems seemed to have formed some cracks he usually tried to seal. God, what would it be like when he was king and was dealing with even more on his plate at this rate? He almost wondered if some of those people out there were right, about him not being able to handle it, about being set off but he still scoffed at it, he was being insecure again and he almost wished he could crawl up in a ball or vent.  He felt he was almost growing a headache and he tried to quickly calm down before nora panicked about him maybe coming down with something. He was a prince, he needed to pull himself together and handle this, he needed to clear his mind and calm down. "Oh.....would you like to...uh..?", she didn't seem to know how to say it, that or, she couldn't spit it out to the boy. But Judas seemed to know what she was trying to say regardless, "I want to talk about it....but...I don't think I can.....it's....well, a lot of it is private..". "Oh..", her voice must've sounded a little saddened judging by judas's quick reaction, turning towards her, a little stressed as he tried to ease the situation and explain himself. "It's nothing against you it's just.....I think I've put enough weight on your shoulders, I feel lately like....maybe i'm making you too uncomfortable by pushing you to do these things for me, even if you want to, and for now, I don't want to push any more on your back. I sorta just, wanted to help you get out of your shell, but it feels more like i'm doing this more for me because i feel guilty about mistakes i made in the past and, I don't want to do that anymore....I just want us to hang out...like friends....no huge issues, no pressure, we hang out and work together and...yeah...". "Judas...are you...sure you're ok?", she sounded nervous, moving hair from her face and looking at his rather closely, all judas's mumbling making her rather worried. "No one...was mean to you today....were they? Is it really just....what you were saying?". Judas waved it off though, "I'll be fine, there's just so much on my mind and I wish i could talk about it more but....I can't, you don't have to worry I'll hopefully cool off and get back on track...". He went quiet, he was rambling, probably making a fool out of himself out of stress when he was supposed to be relaxed and focused, he must look incredibly stupid right now in front of nora, who had no idea about all the messy details and problems he was going through. He was lost in thought about Meteora, wondering if maybe it was too much to ask Eclipsa if he and Sky could meet her in person, though at this point it was most likely she was off having a great life, maybe married, maybe wanted to be left alone. and what would he say anyway? There was nothing to say to a person he didn't really know, who he thought was dead and knew nothing of what happened. And his dad, geez everything about that was judas walking on dangerous territory, especially with how his dad was about the whole thing. He wasn't even sure about seeing him again, dinner would just be plain awkward, and it was already awkward enough with landon. And don't get him started on stuff with angel, it honestly wasn't his top priority but if eclipsa and globgor found it strange, him finding it strange couldn't be that weird, though he was happy sky seemed to have gotten along with the boy. There was just a lot to think about, and worry about. He hoped Sky was doing better and she was not sitting in her room, still fiddling with the charm Katrina gave her. He found himself leaning against a wall, keeping his mouth closed shut, nora taking some notes in her little journal, she didn't seem to want to push him any further right now, letting him take some time to clear his own find. He wondered if this was how luna felt most of the time, constantly worried and stressed, feeling like her world was collapsing and being incredibly anxious as she worked alongside her own mother who had taken a VERY big liking to her and he obvious skills. Maybe he gave her too much flack for being such a stick in the mud, considering how much stress she was under over her situation, even if she wasn't the best about it. She was most likely already planning her own solutions, probably behind their back if she had to to get some results. He wouldn't hold it past her in all fairness, considering the results they had been getting where less then ideal, though in all fairness so much more was at risk if they were caught as opposed to her. "Judas....?" "Yes?" "Y-you don't have to be so....nervous around me, y-you seem so....scared i'll get mad...or...something like that?", she was looking at him with her soft green eyes and judas suddenly felt embarrassed, "Well no, it's just...I feel like...I keep screwing up, trying to talk to you and I just...I don't wanna come off like....like a jerk, not to you. I'm just not....I'm not perfect.....at talking to people sometimes, and I just...with everything happening...I just don't want to hurt anyone again". She blinked at him softly, it was as if she wasn't used to him acting like this, so nervous and worried and as if he were falling apart. "You're not a jerk judas..I don't think you are at least...", she hid her face in her book a little more," You're nice and you just like helping people, y-you..... ". Then she stopped. "Nora?" "My parents....I can hear them coming...your spells are sending an alert....you have to remove the magic off the door and hide....or they'll suspect something!", and sure enough, the eyes off his skull chain lock were glowing, a perfect silent alert system for them in case their soundproofing didn't work. That had to mean the arrival of King and Queen spiderbite were only seconds away and boy judas was the last person they would want to find in nora's bedroom of all places. Judas was fast, darting under the bed and snapping his fingers, the enchantments leaving the door quickly after. Hearing two figures make their way in, he kept his mouth shut and hoped he hadn't made it apparent someone else was in the room, though much to his surprise, the conversation going on had little to nothing to do with him, or the fact they may of heard something. Instead, they both sounded worried, even a little panicked. That couldn't be a good sign. "Nora, you need to come with us....", the queen was walking towards the bed, and judas could imply she was most likely grabbing onto her daughter's arm, "What? Mom, is something bad happening?". The woman only frantically pulled her off the bed, "We saw her, out the window, we need to get you somewhere safe, we're on high alert! The guards are on alert and the commission will be here any second....c'mon". Nora wasn't even given much of a time to react when she was pulled out of her room, the door shutting behind her, leaving the boy in complete darkness under the girl's bed. Her? Wait... He was only given a few more minutes of panic before he heard footsteps. LOUD footsteps. And he held his breath as a cloak, or most likely, a black dress, dragged across the floor in front of him. Oh No.

[strawberryjmilk]

a type of stardust | kim namjoon

word count: 1490

warning: this entire thing is angst. self-confidence issues and self-doubt are the entire basis. there is an ending that can be interpreted as s*icide, so please be aware if that’s harmful for you. this doesn’t read as an actual reader x namjoon imagine. the “oc” goes by aphrodite, but you can ignore that if you’d like!  as always, i do not view namjoon in this way!

namjoon’s point of view

MAYBE HAPPINESS WAS NEVER MEANT TO BE MINE, JUST AS YOU WEREN’T.

we went to a museum, the one near my house. it was weird — all of us being together. we smiled and joked and acted like we were happy. maybe they were actually happy, and i was the one pretending. i was with her, my sister. she was pretty — she sparkled in any way she could. we were looking at the dresses; ones we could never imagine having to wear every day. we were reading the plaque — really, i just wanted to keep my mind busy. and then he appeared. he was taking pictures of the things he found interesting — pictures were allowed as long as there was no flash. and he turned towards us. and he looked like he'd seen an angel. in the corner of my eye, i could see him raise his camera up slowly. that's when my sister and i laughed — i made sure my smile was pretty because he was watching. but then i noticed — his camera was only pointed at her. — i saw him again, at the café, he was humming, dimples peeking out of his cheeks as he sipped on his hot chocolate. that was cute — i thought he was cute. and then i remembered the aching truth — he'd never looked at me in the first place. it was her — it was always her. the tea that settled on my tongue turned cold and bitter and i could feel the muffin i had climbing up my throat. i had to leave, but i noticed his eyes had widened as i passed him. i know, i don't like looking at me, either. — i hated being jealous of her. i hated being jealous of both of them. because they were my sisters — they held me through bad days and brushed my hair and made sure i was healthy. but this pain — this pain was their fault. and i hated that i blamed them. because i adored them — truly, i do. but, it hurts so much. because this has happened before. i meet a cute boy, and he seems interested. until his eyes shift and he glances at one of them. and it's like i never existed in the first place. do i want to exist? — "ro," her voice is soft. soft and quiet and alluring and soothing. we always joke that the others can't hear us because we're both soft spoken. except she sounds like a pretty, twinkling fairy and i sound like a goblin who's been living under a bridge. "are you sure you're alright? you seem quieter. you're eating well, aren't you?" she's concerned and it makes the guilt flare up again. i'm jealous because you're everything i've ever wanted to be. and everyone listens to you so easily. and they help you — they make sure you're okay. but i'm not okay. and they never ask. "yeah, i'm fine. just a small headache." she believed me. they always believe me. — "hey," his voice was smooth. it was almost raspy, a musical cello that swam through my ears and into my brainwave. how could he say one word and i'm already so helpless? "hello," i spoke quietly. i hope i mimicked my sister's voice well — i hope i sounded pretty to him. "i think i saw you at the museum," he smiled. he had a very nice smile — the type of smile that could warm you up on cold days. "unless that was someone else?" "i think i remember," of course i remember. i'm very familiar with my heart splitting in two. "i'm namjoon," he introduced. i liked his name and how sweetly he smiled after he said it. "aphrodite," i hummed. "you can call me ro, though." that's what i always said. because i hated my name. i was cursed — how could i be named after the goddess of love when that emotion was entirely absent from me? "how pretty," he smiled again. i thought maybe he'd been looking at his reflection. — "ro," his voice crackled through the phone. why did i think it was a good idea to give him my number? now, he wouldn't stop calling. and that made it a lot harder to forget him. i swear i was trying to forget him. "who was that girl? the one from the museum? and the cafe — she was there, too." dread filled me up, icy hands curling around my throat. i already felt sick. "that's my sister," i hoped i sounded cheerful. because i adore her, truly i do. but i already knew what he was going to say next. "...she's really pretty." i wanted to cry. "she has a boyfriend," i said quickly. it wasn't a lie — i was sure they were even thinking of marriage. but, i still felt guilty that i'd potentially hurt his feelings. even though he always hurts mine. "sorry, joon." "that's okay." it didn't seem okay. — i found myself comparing us again. she had long, dark hair that flowed like a waterfall. mine was dyed and chunky and uneven. her eyes were glittering jades and she never had to make an effort to wear makeup. mine were dark and i hated to go out without it. she was better — she was always better. i looked to my left, at my eldest sister as she smiled. she was loud but her laugh was pretty. i was quiet and i always squeaked. her hair was a curly lions main. i was always jealous of it. she, too had sparkling eyes but they were like small sapphires. mine were almost black and i'd never thought a color could make you feel so isolated. i had to look down, away from them both. if i'd seen them, i wouldn't choose me, either. — "you seem sad," he said. we were at the park, feet brushing against the dirt as we sat on the swings. it was the first time he'd talked to me in a month. i almost had his grin burned from my memory, but then he called. and i don't think i could ever forget it now. "why do people always say that?" i frowned. maybe i should've smiled instead — i might've seemed prettier then. "because you never look happy," he shrugged. "i smile and laugh all the time," i argued. he just shrugged again. he wouldn't look up to meet my eyes and it made the crack in my heart grow a little. it was shocking — i didn't think i had a heart left. "that doesn't mean you're happy." i hated that he was right. — "i didn't know you had two sisters." i didn't like this conversation. i didn't like that he'd been introduced to them both. the fear settled in my stomach, partnering with the guilt and jealousy that i always tried to hide. "yeah," i spoke plainly, like there wasn't a flood begging to be unleashed. "they seem happy," he hummed. he seemed nonchalant but i knew he was still thinking of them. "i'm sure they are." "and they both have boyfriends?" i didn't like that he asked that. "yeah," i laughed. i knew it sounded bitter because it tasted salty as it escaped my lips. "too bad." too bad, indeed. — "oh, hello namjoon!" she sounded so elegant when she spoke. she was in a black dress that amplified how intoxicating she looked. maybe my sisters were sirens. or succubi. or maybe i was just the ugly duckling of the family. "ro is in the living room." "oh, um. alright." he never faltered when i spoke to him. "are you going somewhere?" he never had to ask what i was doing. because i was always available. i never had plans to make. no one wanted to make them with me. "just a double date. have fun, you two!" i didn't think we would. — we were out again, as a family. my sisters were laughing with their boyfriends. and i felt isolated but i stayed quiet and twirled my pasta around my fork. i didn't have much of an appetite anymore. "i can't wait until ro gets a boyfriend," my sister cheered. she was laughing — not at me, but in excitement. "i hope it happens soon," the eldest agreed. "she seems lonely." she seemed concerned when she looked at me. i just smiled and shrugged. "don't get your hopes up." — "aphrodite." i hated my name. but, i hated it even more when he said it. breathless, like he couldn't believe i was standing in front of him. but, really, i could see the girl who was sitting on his couch. she was breathless, too. it ached — to know he was all i thought about when i never stayed on his mind. maybe i came off as creepy and obsessed. maybe he just didn't care. "hi, namjoon," my tone was soft. not because i was trying to make it pretty — i was just tired. he seemed shocked. "are you alright?" his eyebrows were furrowed in concern. how nice of him to act like he cared. and to act like he didn't hear the other girl scoff. i just smiled at him. "i'm leaving," it was hard to keep the tears in. it was hard to do this. but i didn't want to do anything else. i was so tired. "so, i just came to say goodbye." "are you coming back?" he was pouting now. "i'm not." he frowned even more at how confident i sounded. like i knew i wasn't going to see him again. because i wasn't. he sighed. he nodded. i turned and walked away. i hope he didn't understand what i meant.

that was really heavy and dark im so sorry but i hope this was enjoyable? maybe? hhhhhhh im here if you guys need to talk - please remember that. thank you for reading, ♡

[ibangtanthings]

Baby

Chapter One

"He's the one in charge of all this. You think the rest of these assholes are scary....they're nothing compared to him, nothing!. Watch your back...no one here is going to help you. The only reason we're having this conversation right now is because I'm finally going to be released."

"How long have you been here?" You asked.

She was probably only a few years older. Tall, lean, with big breasts. Her thigh had a scar about the length of her finger but it was white in color, and barely visible. You took in everything about her appearance; the red hair, the tattoo on her foot, the piercings on her ears.

“Three years....” She choked back a sob. “Don't try to escape. If you get into a fight, fight to kill."

"Why me?" You leaned in closer and she retreated, standing up as the guards came in to pick her up.

Tears streamed down your cheeks as you repeated your question before they could take her away.

"Why me? Why am I here?" You whimpered.

"Because you look like an angel." She shrugged. "Stop crying. You'll have plenty of time for that later."

With that they dragged her out of sight and slammed the door shut. Hours passed as you sat in that disgusting room, shackled to the floor with your legs and wrists tied together painfully.

The concrete felt horrible against your skin. You only wore the bare minimum, an underwear and a bra. They took your clothes when they threw you into the car. Bugs wanted to crawl on your skin knowing you were the only living thing in that dark grey room.

No food, no sunlight, no water, no bathroom. You screamed at the small camera installed in one corner of the ceiling, but nothing happened. The small red dot just kept blinking back at you.

You knew it was a bad idea but there was no other way to get their attention...Whoever they were.

The more you thought about it, the more appealing the idea of offing yourself became. You didn’t want to be trafficked and abused. 

Laying down, you began to knock your head onto the ground, trying to make it seem like you were using a good amount of effort and crying to make it look more convincing.

It wasn't even a minute later before the lights turned on and three guys came in, pointing large guns at your face.

"Don't move!" One yelled out but the threat of the gun had already froze you in place.

"I have to use the bathroom. Please." You stammered, shivering with uncontrollably.

Your eyelids felt swollen from all the crying, and just then you realized that while the room was ice cold, the skin around your cheeks felt too warm. What felt worse was the bruise they left on your abdomen. That’s where they had punched you so hard, you lost your grounding and made it very easy for them to kidnap you. 

One of them picked you up and cursed, letting you fall again.

"She's bleeding." He said, disgusted.

You started to panic and realized he was looking down at your legs. You had started your period.

"Call him in. Call Namjoon in. Isolation, room one." He spoke into his ear.

They had to be military trained. The way they stood, the type of guns they had, the equipment. It looked like they had come straight out of a war.

Namjoon?

He came in dressed in a suit and tie, his shoes perfectly polished.

He must be the one she warned you about.

You didn't look him in the eyes, instead you shut yours. 

"What's wrong?" He asked them. His voice smooth yet strong.

"It's her...time of the month. She's been in isolation for two days. We rushed in when she was hurting herself."

He sighed but his voice was calm and smooth. "I told you to take care of her. Did you even feed her? I need her ready in two, do you understand?"

"Yes sir." They said.

"Call Jin, have him take her upstairs to get washed up. Label her first."

You opened your eyes immediately.

"Name sir?" One asked.

There was silence for a second. You felt his eyes all over your body. Finally you made eye contact and a chill went down your spine.

You saw it immediately, his power, his confidence and his attractiveness. He had an energy that made it clear he was the one in charge.

You could have sworn you saw the corners of his lips stifle a smile.

"Baby." He turned around and left.

"Jin to isolation room one. Namjoon's doll is here. I repeat, Baby is here."

You hid into a corner as the guards unlocked the shackles and the rope around your wrists which made a bright red mark on your skin.

They had no reason to tie you up like that in the first place. It wasn't like you could fight back. Not with guns pointed at you 24/7. Not with all these men who could overpower you so easily.

Jin appeared a few minutes later.

He too was dressed nicely. A white button up and black jeans. His light blonde hair parted perfectly.

He laid eyes on you and watched your every move, observing you like a hawk. Finally he looked over at the guard.

"Namjoon wants you to take care of her." the guard replied.

"She's the one..." His brows furrowed in concentration as he came closer but his expression softened when he leaned down in front of you. He noticed the blood but it didn't seem to bother him.

He sent a guard for a towel and they returned quickly.

"Hi Baby. I'm going to take care of you now." He gave you a polite smile. "Come with me."

His hand reached for yours and he easily pulled you up.

While the side of your abdomen hurt like hell, for some reason you refused to make any sound whatsoever. 

The halls were empty, not another body in sight. It looked like some kind of hotel. You tried your best to keep up with him even with the pain in your side. The floor was cold under your feet, like stepping into freezing waters. Shivers radiated down your spine.

The elevator doors opened and he let go of your hand, letting you get in first. He kept his eyes to himself and pressed the first floor button.

When the doors opened again he didn't bother to check if you were following. You didn’t have the guts to try to run and he knew. 

All the doors in this particular hallway had names on top of the door frames. Hoseok, Jimin, Taehyung, and more. 

He unlocked the door to his room and held your hand once more, leading you into his bathroom. From what you could see, he had a very large sized room.

The bathroom was covered in white tiles that contrasted against the dark teal walls. He turned on the water in the bathtub. A porcelain and gold tub that seemed more expensive than anything you have ever laid eyes on.

His fingers dipped into the water and once satisfied, he placed soap and towels nearby.

"Clean yourself up. Don't do anything stupid. I'll be right back." He closed the door behind him.

The water was between warm and hot, exactly how you wished it would be. After a few moments you climbed in and the dull ache in your side subdued just a little.

You were somewhat relieved that Jin wasn't as scary as Namjoon but Jin was one of them. He was obviously terrifying but he wasn’t as intimidating as Namjoon. The image of him alone made your breath hitch. The girl’s words echoed in your mind. Jin, Hoseok, Jimin, the others....they’re nothing compared to Namjoon. 

What did Jin mean you were the one? Like he was trying to hide his surprise.

"I'm coming in." He said with a gentle knock.

You tried to cover yourself up but you were already submerged in the soapy water so he wouldn't see anything anyways.

He left clothes and a box of tampons.

Unable to muster any words due to fear, you pointed to the shower head.

"Rotate the middle knob." He said leaving you alone again.

You turned the golden handle, flushed all the soapy water away and finished up quickly.

There sat matching bra and panties, a satin purple that was almost visible through the white shirt, maybe his shirt, and grey pajama shorts.

Walking out with towels and undergarments in hand, he took them from you and threw them out.

"You'll stay here until Namjoon changes his mind. I have to find you more clothes and then I’ll bring back food. You can make yourself comfortable." He said, taking your left hand and placing a small kiss on it.

It felt weird to have him be so nice. Especially considering how you were treated the past couple of days. When he made eye contact, it was like he was telling you that you could trust him. 

Sitting down on the chair, you waited and waited for him to come back. The lack of sleep and food had you weak and soon enough you dozed off, only to be awoken by him again. He was carrying you to his bed.

You sat upright once he laid you down. You wanted to gasp, or scream in pain but you were so scared. The pain in your side continued but the only response you could manage was letting your tears begin to well at your eyes. 

"I told you to make yourself comfortable. You can sleep on the bed if you want to." He pulled the sheets back.

You looked away from him, remaining silent.

His phone rang. You managed to prevent your tears from falling. 

It was hard to make out his conversation but a few moments later there was a knock on the door. He opened the door very slightly and retrieved a plastic bag.

"Here's some pain medication, for your cramps. You should eat. I brought this for you." He walked over to another bag you hadn't noticed before, on top of the dresser.

He brought out some plastic containers and opened them up, placing them on the bed.

Sushi.

He brought a piece to your mouth and you stared back at him.

His eyes were a warm brown. Like Namjoon, he was handsome. Admittedly, they didn't look like gangsters or criminals. They looked like social elites, or the corporate type, not criminals.

Jin's looks we're almost ethereal.

"Eat." He said.

"Why am I here?" You whispered.

He sighed. "You know it's disrespectful to refuse food from someone who's done you no harm."

"You're one of them." You said, not knowing what came over you. The goal was to never make them angry, yet it seems like you blew it already. 

"Yes. Now eat because you don't want me to force you." He was serious but calm, holding up the piece of fish in between his fingers.

It had been days since you had a morsel of food. Earlier you drank the water from the bathroom sink to soothe your thirst.

Hunger took over your fears and you opened your mouth slightly, letting him feed you. For some reason you couldn't stop staring at his face. His eyebrows, his nose, his cheeks.

After that first bite, you fed yourself and he made himself busy around the room. He took out the trash bag and left it outside the door.

You realized there there were two locks. He could choose to lock it from the inside or out, however he pleased.

"Lights go out at twelve. That's in couple of hours so you can go to sleep before I get back. For your sake don't attempt any sort of escape. It's not worth your life."

_______

You woke up to his eyes staring back at you. No emotion, just watching.

"He's coming. Get yourself ready." He remained in bed, hair messy and yet still  looking perfect.

He was already dressed though. Navy slacks and a blazer over his white shirt. The watch on his wrist an expensive silver.

Sure enough, all your necessities were provided. Even a curling iron and perfume.

It was weird how everything seemed impeccable. The white tiled floor shiny and clean as though it was untouched. The lights made the room bright and gave the place an almost hospital like atmosphere. 

The fact that they expected you to get all dolled up seemed weird too.

His room as well, perfectly kept. By the time you put on the T-shirt and jeans provided, the bed was already made. A picture perfect breakfast wheeled in on a silver platter and placed on the bed for you.

With the press of a button, two panels on the wall opened up and revealed a television hidden in the wall. Jin sat down on the floor. He began watching the news and eating.

There was nothing on about your disappearance. No one would have noticed anyways.

You stared at the pancakes and fruit on your platter and smelled the comforting scent of coffee just steaming from the mug.

Jin turned around to check if you were eating.

He could probably sense the constant anxiousness you felt and the fear that prevented you from even thinking about escaping.

After finishing your meal, you found the guts to approach him, taking a seat on the floor next to him.

He stared back at you, calm and expectant.

"Who is he?" You spoke, your voice small and you tried to swallow your nerves away.

He watched you for a second before answering. “You’re his, what more do you need to know?”

"Why me? What does he want from me?"

Jin tucked your hair behind your ear, "He doesn't want anything from you, he already has you."

“Why are you being nice to me? Why am I️ here? Why isn’t he watching me?”

“He’s busy.” He said, then he ordered you to stop asking questions.

You moved to the ottoman, trying to stay as still and as far away from him as possible.

But Namjoon came soon enough, bursting through the door with two others in tow. You retreated to the bed. It was as if Jin hadn't noticed his presence. He was un-phased, reading the newspaper as he sat in his chair and ignored everything going on.

"Get up." Namjoon said, grabbing your arm and hoisting you up. His elbow slightly knocked into your side and you yelped.

"What is it?" He asked, never making eye contact. He surveyed your movements and lifted up your shirt to reveal your body.

The bruising had gotten worse. The pain was just at its peak as the skin swelled.

"Jin." Namjoon turned his head towards him.

You looked over at Jin and he was already watching you.

"I didn't do it. I didn't go get her, it had to be Hoseok or Yoongi." Jin returned to his newspaper.

Namjoon touched the flesh and you tried to avoid his fingers, stepping back.

"Don't move." He said, neither annoyed or angered.

This time he didn't touch you. He just looked at the bruise for a moment

"Bring her to main floor when you're ready." He turned to Jin and left.

"That's it?" You wondered after the door closed, looking at Jin for some sort of explanation.

"Be patient. He's being patient. Why didn't you ask him why you're here? Why didn't you bombard him with questions too?" Jin walked towards you, his expression hardened but then a smirk began to form across his lips.

You stared back at him and remained silent.

"Does it hurt Baby?" He asked, revealing your bruise again.

Holding your breath, you placed your hand on his and he let go of your shirt, letting it fall back into place, watching your anxious eyes.

"You're lucky they didn't break your ribs, or worse. Hoseok has a thing for screams and Yoongi has a thing for fire." He tucked your hairs behind your ear. "Namjoon's giving you special treatment, we all are. I have a thing for tears and I'd love to see them fall down your skin." He trailed his finger down your cheek and followed with his eyes until he touched your lips. "But Namjoon said to take care of you so I will...For now at least."

You shivered and closed your eyes, felt his lips against your forehead, delicate and gentle.

The house fire...

You ran out and felt something hit you. It wasn’t debris, it was Yoongi trying to injure you? Or was it Hoseok as he mentioned? There was too much smoke to see anything.

“For now, I’ll take care of you as if you were mine. I wish you were.” He smiled.

He left you alone after that. He was getting ready to take you to the main floor.

Whatever that meant...

________________

The main floor had one grand ballroom like hall, in which a large sundial was painted on the floor. A chandelier about the size of a car, was hanging directly above. It was huge and it glittered almost like rainfall.

Maybe you were in a mansion or a hotel? Everything you’ve seen so far signified that these guys were loaded. 

For now Jin was...safe...if you could even allow yourself to feel that way around him. He hadn’t hurt you...yet.

All eyes fell on you, the silence deafening.

There were about 5 other guys there besides Namjoon. Girls were lined up against the wall behind them, watching you and giving each other glances.

Grabbing hold of Jin's arm you hid behind him and someone with orange hair smiled at your direction.

Jin didn't seem to mind. He just kept walking towards Namjoon casually.

The girls were made up in lipstick and perfect eyeliner, tight clothes that revealed almost everything, and jewels that looked cheap compared to what the guys had on. Some of the girls had perfect tans and some had porcelain skin.

With just a glance they were sizing you up. There had to have been at least ten.

Namjoon rubbed his chin, looking at you and holding your gaze. For the first time ever you felt like he was really looking at you. He was taking in ever part of your body.

"Everyone this is Baby." Namjoon said, taking a few steps forward.

Jin stepped away and your weak hand slipped from his arm. Namjoon grabbed your face gently in his hands and kissed you.

You were so surprised but that didn’t last long.

"No! You can't do this!" One of the girls wailed running towards you, pushing you out of his grasp and smacking your face with all her strength.

You gasped and held your cheek, in shock and confused as hell. Jin didn't move at all. It was Namjoon who grabbed her before she could hit you again, flinging her to the ground.

His move made you flinch in fear, and the girl was on the ground in an instant, practically immobile.

"Ohh shit!" One of guys chuckled, and the rest smiled.

"Of course I can.” Namjoon said. “You thought I wasn't going to find out? I know you were the one who snitched on Rosy. You put one of my girls into the system and for what? In hopes of being my favorite? I'm not going to put you into prison with her, that's too easy. You're going to stay here and be the bitch you were always meant to be. Don't even think about laying another hand on Baby, because she owns you now. The moment she says the word I'll kill you." He kicked her in the side and she rolled onto her back, spitting up blood.

The other girls looked away, some looked like they were on the verge of tears. You couldn't watch either.

"About time someone reminded you where you came from Angel." One of the guys spit on her and walked out. The rest of the crowd followed until only you, Namjoon and Jin remained.

You watched Angel twitch with pain and whimper.

"Get her out." Namjoon said to Jin, nodding towards the doors.

Without a word Jin literally dragged her out of the room, pulling her by the arm.

"Let me see." Namjoon tried to move your hand away from your cheek but you stepped back, watching his every move, deathly afraid.

"Come here." He growled, grabbing your arms and roughly pulling you against him, his strength keeping you in place. "When I say something, you listen. I won't ask you again."

You stared at him, wide eyed and knees weak.

"W-Why am I here? Who are you?" You managed to stammer out, tears finally making their way down your hot cheek.

"You know who I am. You're here because you're mine now Baby."

You trembled in his arms and shook your head. "What do you want from me?"

"Nothing....well, you're loyalty, your trust. Listen to me very carefully Baby." He brought his hands to your waist carefully and kissed your cheek. "The moment I laid eyes on you, I saw how beautiful you are. I couldn’t stop thinking about you. You’re breathtaking. You’re going to be a star Baby, the star of the show."

He placed a few kisses on your neck, and you tried to push him away, tears streaming down your face.

You never agreed to this. You were more afraid than ever. What did he even mean?

He pulled away, but his hand found yours just as Jin came back through the door.

Namjoon held your hand out towards him.

"She looks so cute when she cries doesn't she?" Jin smiled at him and took your hand.

"Take care of her. Don't let the other girls touch her, although, I doubt they will now.” Namjoon ordered.

"Of course." Jin replied, leading you back to his room.

He thought it was cute when you cried?

As soon as you entered his room again, you ran straight into the bathroom and began sobbing.

What kind of messed up stuff was Namjoon talking about?

What all those girls were for?

"Baby." Jin called, tapping on the bathroom door.

"That's not my name! My name is Y/N!" You yelled back, sitting down on the white tile floor and feeling the pain in your side more than ever.

He walked in but he didn't come near.

He liked watching you cry. He really did have a thing for tears. It was sadistic and cruel.

You hid your face and he sat down in front of you.

"He'll hurt you if you say that around him. There is no Y/N anymore." He said moving your hands away from your face.

They way he said it made you lose your senses. Nothing felt real anymore. You felt like he was telling nothing but the truth.

There was no Y/N, she didn’t exist. Is that what they wanted you to believe? How?

Looking around, nothing had changed. Everything was shiny and reflecting back too much light. Everything was too clean and you were too afraid to touch anything. It was a bathroom, not a museum. 

The pain in your side a constant reminder that you weren't dreaming.

If you didn't exist anymore then no one would come looking. They made everyone think you were dead, didn’t they?

Who would come looking if you were already dead? Not your friends, not your family.

You were stuck here forever and you still didn't know why. The way Namjoon touched you made you angry. You didn’t own yourself anymore. 

"Come here Baby." Jin pulled you into him. You were surprised at first but you cried into his shoulder anyways. He felt.....safe. Who else was going to comfort you? When would be the next time anyone would comfort you?

"No ones going to hurt you Baby. If you listen to us, everything's going to be fine. I kind of like you Baby, I'm sure the other guys will too" He stroked your head over and over again as you cried.

After some time had passed, you didn't know how much time, Jin nudged you carefully and asked if you were asleep.

You were wide awake, thinking about nothing and just daydreaming about the events that had occurred since you were captured. You replayed the layout of the floors repeatedly in your mind.

He pulled you away from him and looked at your blank expression. When his eyes met yours, you blinked back into reality.

He was safe, you reminded yourself.

"It hurts." You told him pitifully.

Even his arm holding you gently was painful, but you didn't say anything until now. It started to hurt with every breath.

"Is it hard to breathe now?" He touched your side. You winced and pulled away but you didn't cry, knowing he would enjoy it.

"Let me wrap your body. It should be fine in a few days. It's healing already." He picked you up onto your feet and you stifled a groan as you walked back into the bedroom.

You sat on the bed as he found a roll of bandages.

"Don't move Baby. I have no intention of hurting you but I need you to trust me for a moment. Okay?" He asked.

You nodded and he kissed your cheek with a gentleness that scared you.

Without another word he ripped your shirt apart and you kept your arms raised a bit even though it hurt.

He rolled the bandage tightly around your rib cage. When he was done he laid you gently onto your back and tucked you into bed.

“I’ll take care of you Y/N.” He said. ______________

You woke up on a table, a light above your head and something heavy covering your body.

"Two days max. I want her ready by next week. I can't stand to look at Angel's performance anymore. I want to waste her already but that's Baby's decision." Namjoon's voice came from behind.

The light moved away and you could see them clearly now.

"Jimin's been asking about her. He's...curious." Jin said.

"You all are." Namjoon sighed.

"She's awake." Jin looked down at you and you reached for his hand at his side.

He helped you sit up and you realized you were still shirtless.

"Your rib was cracked slightly. Remember to breathe properly even if it hurts. I already punished him for being reckless." Namjoon said, stroking your head.

"Him?" You asked wearily.

"Do you want to see him? He's going to take care of you next." Namjoon said.

"Next?" You repeated, looking down and holding your head for a moment.

He tilted your chin up and forced you to look at him.

"Has Jin been taking care of you Baby?" He pet your head.

"My name is Y/N." You whispered angrily, looking right back at his eyes.

With that he pushed your head away from him and looked at Jin. "Tell Yoongi he can do what he wants, one day max."

Jin squeezed your hand angrily, perhaps without realizing. "He'll hurt her even more. You said you need her ready for next week."

"I know what I said, did you hear what I just said?" He hissed. "Is she yours or mine?"

"I understand." Jin sighed, grabbing a shirt from a nearby stool. He helped you put it on and when he held onto your hand, you gripped it with all your strength, not once looking back at Namjoon.

"Fucking Yoongi." Jin muttered under his breath over and over again on the way back to his room.

He was angry now, seemingly unpredictable and totally different than his usual collected self.

"I want to stay here with you." You blurted out as soon as you were alone with him and the was door shut.

"Well fuck, you just ruined that didn’t you? You're not mine. You’re Namjoon's doll. He's the only one who can make decisions regarding you. I told you there is no Y/N anymore, now you've made him upset and Yoongi's going to take his revenge on you."

"Revenge? I didn't do anything to him. What does Namjoon's doll even mean?" You began to panic.

"Yoongi was the one who went to go get you. He was the one that hurt you, the reason why you're injured. Namjoon has him chained up in the cellar. It's 115° in that room and he's gotten no sleep for 48 hours so far. His punishment will be over today and then you'll be sent to his room. That's Namjoon's orders. You're his doll, his property now. Your body, your soul, it belongs to him."

"Why does he want me?"

"He loves you."

You almost laughed. "Then why am I not in his room? This makes no sense. He doesn't even know me."

"He wants to break you. Your mind. You'll loose yourself and give yourself to him, all the dolls do. He knows who you are."

"I'll never become whatever it is that he wants me to become."

"You will. You'll give yourself to him and you'll become Baby. You already feel something between us so it's only a matter of time before you break. Most girls only do one room before they submit."

"You don't hurt me that's all." You said, denying any sort of attachment. You knew about Stockholm Syndrome and there was no way you would fall into that mindset. "Am I going to everyone's room?”

"Yes. Then you'll be his forever. Whether we like it or not."

"Why wouldn't you guys like it?" You asked.

He looked away and didn’t answer.

"I'm not some toy. Don't you see this is wrong? Please, tell me how to get out of here."

"Stop talking Baby. I'm not usually this nice so don't push it. There's no point in escape. This is your life now."

"Don't let Yoongi hurt me please." You begged him.

"I can't do anything for you anymore. You didn't listen. If I miss you enough, I'll try to find you later."

"Jin."

He brought his lips to yours.

You froze and felt too stunned to move again.

"I said be quiet. You need to listen. The rest of us aren't so nice or patient. I like you Baby and my kindness is a gift. Don't take it for granted. Once your with him, you might as well forget me.”

"I'm scared." You whimpered, and your breaths began to quicken as your tears returned. This is what he liked right? Tears.

“Yoongi won’t kill you, he knows Namjoon wants you alive." He said, tucking you into bed.

"My name is Y/N." You cried over and over again. You felt like you had lost your mind already. What was wrong with them?

He shook his head and you kept repeating it for hours, until finally you heard the words change.

"My name is Baby."

"You looks so beautiful when you cry Baby." He said tenderly, holding you close and making sure you were facing him that so he could watch you fall asleep crying.

"My name is Baby."

"Shh...get some rest. After Yoongi, you'll know who you belong to." He said with a kiss to your forehead.

_______

[fandomscollective]

Works in Progress

This is very long so it’s all under a cut, there are several original fiction stories and a couple fanfiction. I’m trying to decide what to write next so I finally made decent descriptions instead of trying to verbally explain them to people. I might be able to write but I can’t talk in a coherent, linear, concise way to save my life.

Opinions on what to work on next are greatly appreciated. 

Original Fiction

     AER 9833(AER): A sort of Dystopian Future. A.E.R. were created as tools. Toys for the rich and powerful. AER are beautiful, elegant, and capable of tapping in to the background radiation of the universe to preform amazing feats. After an AER goes rouge they are determined to be sentient and therefore responsible for their own actions. Suddenly no one feels safe having these Artificially Intelligent beings around and so they are placed in The City, where a special device suppresses their power. Some time later the world is beset by an unknown force that destroys most life leaving the remnants to flounder. Humans begin to seek shelter in The City, which survived the Apocalypse. Things get complected with AER and humans living side by side. One AER breaks the field that suppresses their power and starts a chain of events that lead to a startling truth: we are not alone. This story has a mad max/cloud atlas thing going on. A hyper futuristic society falls to an outside attack that destroys most of the world, leaving wastelands interspersed with pockets where nature has reclaimed the last vestiges of civilization. A few scattered cities survive and humans struggle for security. In this bleak landscape a single AER possesses the power to save the world from a horrific fate, but the cost might be more than they can pay.

     Beyond the Stars(BTS): Sci-fi/Fantasy epic. In a distant future humans and Martic share a world cut off from both civilizations. What began as a short lived and devastating war between the two has settled into a strange and unbalanced power dynamic. The Martic king rules with a pleasant public facade that hides a dark and devious plot. Soon he will have the power to contact his home world and take the humans as slaves into their great empire. But not everyone is fooled, the Maquiya, a group of guerrilla resistance fighters, know the truth. The story follows the members of this resistance movement and other key players as the fight to save this small pocket of humanity from a terrible fate draws to a startling close. Prophetic dreams, confusing nightmares, double agents, and a century old secret come to light. And there is more than the fate of this world in the balance.

     Descendant Effect(DE): Magical Realism. Davin Khaye and his husband Eric Douglas just adopted a baby girl with a mysterious past. They thought they were leaving that whole occult investigation thing behind when they settled on Staten Island but when and old flame develops a magical illness Davin and Eric find themselves, and their new friends, pulled into a fight for the fate of the world.           Descendant Effect Book One: Sins of the Father, Complete (Looking for Beta and Sensitivity Readers and Editors) Davin, a magical historical fiction writer and former occult investigator,  gets a call from his first boyfriend’s sister saying that Gary is deathly ill. When Davin visits out of sympathy for Sarah he discovers that not all is what it seems. A virulent Wrong Magic has infected Gary and it’s contagious. Davin gathers his Chemist husband, the newly minted Descendant, Kaila, and the not JUST a vampire Jeb, along with Davin’s own personal guardian demon to unravel the mystery. Things get ever more complicated with mysterious Hunter Rex, Angels, demons, and Rex’s erstwhile sorcerer adviser Ambrose getting involved. By the end there are more questions than answers and long road to travel before Davin can finally let go of his terrible past.

     Dirty Deeds(DD): Magical Realism. Lady Luck gifted Clay with Power, now he’s fallen out of favor. Can a Demon with a moral compass guide him back into the limelight or will Clay be forced to watch as tragedy dogs his every step. When a goddess tells you to use your probability power for the good of mankind, taking a trip to Vegas is probably the last thing you should do. Clay learns that the hard way when he ignores his duties and a favorite of the Lady dies in a tragic accident. Lady Luck is no mans fool and she curses Clay to a terrible fate. With his powers severely effected he must still try to help, try being the operative word. After Clay is connected to a series of terrible deaths the FBI steps in. The lead detective is more than she seems and when she figures out clay’s secret she has to make a choice, her career or the man she’s starting to fall in love with. Considering her kind aren’t supposed to be able to fall in love it’s not that hard a choice. But Clay doesn’t seem to feel the same, until he does, and the curse is completed, leaving Clay in a sorry state. Kaezon won’t give up easily though and fights to make sure Clay comes back, but Clay isn’t so sure that’s a good idea. (some inspiration for this came from American Gods by Neil Gaiman)

     Nowhere Places(NP): Sci-fi/ Fantasy, Magical Realism. The history of Earth is secretly intertwined with an alien war thousands of years in the making, and so is it’s fate. To save his people the King of the Fay brought them to earth 15,000 years ago, but something went wrong. From a base on the moon the king directs a war in The Nowhere Places, overlaps in this dimension and another barren dimension. The Fay and the Phaedron have been at war for fifteen centuries and the people have had enough. Two of the Fay princes hatch separate rebellions while a Phaedron warrior, having crashed his vessel near a human school, discovers that humans aren’t the stupid cattle he’d always been told they were. Things take a dramatic turn when an archaeologist finds a massive structure several hundred feet below the exactly center of the Sahara desert and learns that this war, which threatens to take the earth out any time now, was never meant to happen because the Fay king… has been in suspended animation in the Cityship for 15 thousand years. This is one of the least fleshed out stories I currently have. Several scenes popped in my head that inspired the story and they almost all look like anime/mange scenes, the one where the archaeologist discovers the king reminds me of the scene where Integra discovers Alucard in Van Hellsing for instance.

     Prince of Darkness(PoD): Superhero, Magical Realism. Jamie was five when she first met the mysterious white haired boy. He didn’t have a name but Jamie could tell he was smart and creative so she called him Donny after her favorite ninja turtle. When she’s 32  her best friend Donny and his ‘boys’ Raziel and Gadreel are back after a ten year absence. Things are going great for the up and coming journalist and then she hits the big time, the very first real life superhero! Henry, her detective little brother, isn’t so thrilled and Donny and the boys seem strangely reluctant to talk about The Prince of Darkness. Soon things start getting even stranger when three people with white hair begin to try to capture The Prince. Tensions run high and weird people keep popping up at Donny’s lounge club. As Jamie searches for answers Donny searches for a connection. Lost and isolated from his ‘true’ family he begins to forge a new one through his Club, The Nine Circles. But the sort of people that hang out in Hell bring their own kinds of trouble. As Donny’s checkered past starts to come to light, the mysterious man finds that his heart wants more than it can have. Starting a relationship with his sister’s best friend was never Henry’s plan, especially since he knows they both love each other, but when Jamie rejects Donny’s advances what’s a guy supposed to do? Comforting his friend leads to something more but the more that Henry gets to know Donny the more concerned his is that he’s sleeping with the ‘enemy.’             PoD: Raising Cain: The story of Cain. Yes, that Cain. After an accident leads to a terrible curse Cain walks the earth searching for meaning. When he learns of ‘Lucifer’s’ fall and those that walk the earth destroying in his name, Cain finds his purpose, because he knows something is wrong. Hêlêl was the kindest of all angels and he would never have turned on the others. But the road to Hell is paved with good intentions and Cain finds that much of the time his attempts to help only cause more problems. After thousands of years traveling the world Cain encounters a spirited young man who calls him Red and falls in love, then one day, he vanishes. It’s the beginning of the end for Cain’s optimism and he spirals into a place so dark he thinks even his long lost friend would forsake him, but he can’t manage to care. Then Cyd and Nancy come along and drag the grouchy old man out of the depths of his despair. And just in time to find that maybe some friends aren’t as lost as previously thought.          PoD: Cyd's Story. Cyd grew up in the sixties. His little hometown was the picture of middle America. On the outside at least. In truth the town is made up of Hunter’s and their families. People who have dedicated their lives to taking out every last Tecum on earth. Unfortunately for Cyd, his mother had tried to get out of the lifestyle and ended up returning home a single mother. Most of the town whispered that she had fallen in with a ‘bad crowd’ and believed Cyd was a Tecum half breed. Only respect for his mother’s family kept them from doing anything, until it didn’t anymore. After ‘The Incident’ Cyd withdrew ever further from those around him and when his mother died when he was 17 he fled the town and never looked back, until Red and Nancy insist on following a Tecum on the run from Red’s brand of justice straight back to the town.                                       PoD: Saints and Sinners: The story of Casper and friends. Casper has never been one to run from his problems so when his team goes missing on a mission he doesn’t hesitate to comply with their captor’s demand. Of course it helps that he knows the guy. Really really well. After liberating his friends from his long time antagonist Ray, Cas find that, this time, he can’t seem to get rid of the man. That’s OK though, because he’s ready to mend the rift between them. Shadow isn’t happy about sharing his closest friend but when a supernatural threat looms they are happy to have an angel on their side. (this is like leverage if it was set in a world were the supernatural exists)                                                       PoD: Charlemagne Song: The story of Charlemagne. When she was in high school, Elle went by Elliot, and had a best friend named Jessica. Back then Elle was head over heels for the tiny blond girl but that was years ago. After a chance encounter with the famous musician Charlemagne Song leaves Elle single and depressed she discoverers that Jess might still be her best friend even though they haven’t talked in years. Suddenly Elle finds herself in a world of pure imagination as she navigates life with one of the most famous musicians of the day, who just happens to be half angel.                                                               PoD: R.E.D.: Story about a band, few details but some characters and lots of song titles and album titles, two of the band members are part of Donny’s ‘family’

     Sad Story(SS): Lucifer’s punishment wasn’t just banishment and when Michael finds out, all Hell breaks loose. Michael wants to let his brother live out his last days on earth instead of locked in a dark cage so he kidnaps him and with lawyer-angel Raziel and his twin brother Gadreel, find a place to hide the erstwhile devil. But Michael’s absence from heaven does not go unnoticed and while the other angels search for him strange murders have been happening in the city. The few witnesses give a description that strangely matches Michael. Can he prove he didn’t do it, or will he be parted from Lucifer before the Brightest of god’s angels fades away completely. (some cross over potential, very sad but with a happy ending cause I like that)

     Sonnets(Son): Inspired by ‘The Good Place.’ Lucifer misses heaven so he tries to recreate it, but to recreate perfection you have to recreate imperfection. (minimal work, the newest of things that have popped into my head)

     Twilight on the Moon(TotM): A Space Epic. Originally conceived of as a graphic novel, this story follows the exploits of the first human intergalactic journey. Humans reach a point in their development where they attract attention from the Galactic Coalition, a group comprised of advanced races from throughout the universe. These races band together to form a peace keeping force and have strict rules and regulations that they expect all members to adhere to, and if a race refuses to follow the guidelines then they are banned from involvement in the larger community of space faring civilizations. Of course, humans, being humans, don’t much care for the Coalition’s ultimatum. A stealth ship arrives on earth and informs the governing bodies that the Coalition isn’t the only group out there and that humanity can find out how other races live by constructing a ship, from plans provided by the individual in the stealth ship, that can travel to all non member systems and pick up ambassadors to have a conference on what humanity should do. The ship they construct is christened La Luna as it was made on a moon base. The captain of the ship is a short delicate looking man by the name of Rane Laforge. He hand picks a complement of characters for the mission that include his ex-girlfriend, Dr. Sandra Fisk as his CMO, Lt. Cmdr. Lars Tavic, Security Chief Anton Talon, Specialist Translator Rendell Hartford, and many others. They pick up several ambassadors including the accidentally acquired Ares LacTon of the La Mer Ray, who falls in love with Lars. It quickly becomes clear that the mission is going to be stranger than expected when we discover that very few of the people on board are actually human! (a sort of comedy of errors in space with the occasional serious moment, the world this is set in is my most elaborate and most complete but the story itself has no coherence yet. There is significant possibility that it will cross over with BTS as two-three of the characters from that likely served aboard La Luna at some point.)

     Unnamed Prince and Regent Story(PR): Fantasy. A princess gets kidnapped but it’s not what you think! She escapes her captors and flees on foot. She stumbles across a caravan and is taken under the wing of their guard who helps her disguise herself as a man. On the trip back to her home she realizes that she’s never been happier and that she is actually a he and he has fallen in love with the guard who seems to feel the same. After getting back to his home however, his love mysteriously vanishes. The now Prince throws the kingdom into chaos and becomes despondent. Spiraling into a drunken haze until a visiting royal entourage brings an unexpected guest and a wild revelation.(another where I have a fairly thought out world but only a sketch of the plot)

FanFiction

     Sherlock Fan Fiction(Sher): A Ghost From the Past. Someone from Sherlock's past shows up and John finds out how little he truly knows of his best friend. Basically Sherlock’s best friend from childhood shows up and it turns out that she was more than a friend and part of the reason Mycroft and Sherlock don’t get along is that Mycroft had asked her to marry him and she had said yes and Sherlock believed(for actual reasons) that Mycroft purposely stole her from him. That’s only the first big revaluation about Sherlock.

     Strange Sounds Supernatural Fan Fiction(SSFF): A Ghost From the Future. The boys are transported to the future where the supernatural is no longer hidden and some major event created a post apocalyptic fallout, but this time it was humans who did it. The result is that massive creatures are roaming the planet destroying any pockets of civilization they can find. Thanks to a few not so dead and reformed archangels there is a part of the US that’s a ‘safe’ zone. When Past Sam and Dean show up around the time that safe zone begins to come under attack both versions of the boys and the future archangels join forces with Occultist John Constantine, Alien Technology Specialist Mickey Smith and his wife Dr. Martha Smith, and the secret organization known as Torchwood as they travel the world looking for clues to put this new threat to rest at last. Features several original characters and many crossover characters from similar worlds with cameo appearances by characters like Crowley and Aziraphale from Good Omens. (Only about Half plotted but the most written of any FanFiction I have so far.)

     Supernatural/Batman Beyond Fusion(SPN/BB): This plot bunny may not make it, basically just replacing the cast of Batman Beyond with the cast of Supernatural but tweaking the plot for supernatural stuff.

     Ultimate CrossOver Fic(C/O): This fic started out in my head with a few comic panels showing Jack Harness falling comet style out of the sky over the impala. The boys investigate and find a very naked Jack in the crater. He of course starts flirting. At the same time that that is happening, the TARDIS bumps into the hull of the USS Enterprise, manifests on a landing deck, and then they both get sucked into some kind of time distortion. Meanwhile, Gabriel, trapped in a spell that Metatron set up to siphon his power to keep the wards on heaven set, uses the last of his strength to send a dream message to Sam. This story would include Supernatural, Doctor Who, Torchwood, Sherlock, Harry Potter, Good Omens, Marvel, Pushing Daises, and basically anything else I can find a way to add and every conceivable mlm ship. (I can’t write sex that involves women because of dysphoria but feel free to believe those ships happen too)

[notesfromnayeshi]

Group Reread: Notes on Chapters 1 - 5

Chapter 1

“The letter wasn’t addressed to John. The return address, however, was his.”

Right off the bat, I’ve got questions. How did Ji know the return address of Kyle and John’s house unless Kyle had informed the Payshmura at some point of his moving in there? Why does this matter? Well, it adds more fuel to my theory that Kahlil was going back and forth between Basawar and Nayeshi.

The underwear catalog. Just saying, they generally don’t ship you a catalog unless you’ve bought something from them. And we know Kyle doesn’t wear underwear. So… John wears “absurdly small briefs” is now canon. Don’t look at me, I go where the clues lead. :D

John says he hasn’t seen Kyle for two weeks: since he ran into him at the bathhouse. But was Kyle in Basawar for two weeks? Or - hear me out - was he just sulking in Gray Space and avoiding an awkward conversation with his roommate about what he was doing at the bath house?

John describes the padlock for Kyle’s room as heavy, iron, and like a prop from a pirate movie. It also supposedly looks like it matches the key from the envelope. That has to have come from Basawar. No one is going to convince me that Kahlil brought a giant padlock with him on first and only trip through the Great Gate. He has to be going back and forth!

Kyle’s soap is still in its wrapper. Again, why? Because he’s using his lifetime supply of istana soap?

Why does Kyle keep his food in a locked cupboard? I think in a later chapter we find out that it’s not actually food in there, but guns and ammunition?

“There was a certain ease to simply not knowing what Kyle was thinking while watching him slink up the stairs, dressed in a heavy black leather coat, carrying lethal-looking knives and a bundle of cloth as long as  a human arm. ”

I’m assuming this is the sword? But where is he taking it?

Chapter 2

“The misty forms of overhanging branches split and scattered as he plunged through them. Trees blew aside in wisps.”

This description of Kahlil’s movement through Gray Space is really cool. I didn’t notice it as much on my last read through, but it helps me visualize how the ushiri’im can move at variable speeds through the Gray Space.

Kahlil kills Ji in this timeline by stabbing her in the neck with his curse blade. I was very tempted to read ahead and check exactly how Fikiri kills her in the alternate timeline. (But, I’ll be good and wait until we get there!) It would be interesting if her two deaths, both by ushiri popping out of Gray Space, happened the same way.

I did not even realize that Ji cursed Kahlil’s wound before she died. That makes sense why it’s so debilitating. I remember thinking that it must have been one hell of a nasty dog bite, but this makes so much more sense.

“The Prayerscars over his eyes seared white-hot lines into his darkness.”

This quote intrigued me. It seems like the prayerscars might actually function to protect the kahlil’s eyes while they travel through the Gate. When Kahlil goes back through the broken gate in a later chapter his eyes get kind of messed up and he no longer has the prayerscars. I’m not sure what to make of this, other than to mention that it piques my interest.

“Kahlil caught the sound of footsteps pacing the kitchen. He easily pictured John, striding through the room, his strong frame almost too tall for the ceiling fan, the breeze from its overhead blades tousling his disorderly blonde hair. Then Kyle remembered him wearing only a white towel, glancing back over his tan, muscular shoulder and catching Kyle’s guilty gaze.”

Well, lookee here! Kahlil referring to himself as Kyle in his own POV chapter. What to make of this? An error? Or perhaps a meaningful clue? Who knows!

Chapter 3

It’s explicitly stated here that John moved into his house a year ago. This tightens the timeline so much! That means that Kyle has to have been there no more than 9 months and possibly less. I think this disappoints me so much because I just want Kyle to get more time to relax and be happy and be with John.

“He supposed that he was almost as bad as Kyle when it came to maintaining his privacy. Maybe that’s why they made such good roommates.”

Aww, John thinks they make good roommates! Considering he spends most of these first chapters dwelling on how weird he finds Kyle, this is interesting.

“It gave him a slightly sordid feeling to stare into his bedroom and contemplate money. He sensed that this wasn’t a resource that decent people ever resorted to considering.”

Should I be taking this that John is considering prostitution as a way to pay his rent? What else could he mean? Why wouldn’t “decent people” resort to selling their furniture?

John’s contemplation of money and how he can scrape together his rent is soo important. We know that John is extremely responsible, thoughtful, and conscientious. But here he finds himself in a tough situation that is completely not his fault and without any support structure to turn to. This is a real-life problem for a lot of young people, and particularly young LGBT+ people. John came out to his parents and they cut him off completely. There are so many real people out there who suffer when they come out to their families or guardians. I love that John is shown here, not immune to any of that. He is a smart, resourceful, thoughtful, responsible, good person and he still struggles with the difficulties of life as a young person who has lost all familial support. This is very real.

And on a lighter note, John wears a bathrobe?

Chapter 4

Ok, if you’ve talked with my about The Rifter all all you probably know that I love this chapter. It might legit be my favorite in the series. It’s right up at the top either way. Kahlil is so perfect here. His observations about Nayeshi put his own life in Basawar into stark relief. His fascination with John is absolutely adorable. I’m not going to spend this entire chapter gushing about Kyle, so let’s just sum it up like this:

Kyle is perfect. He’s an angel and he can do no wrong.

When Laurie calls John “Toffee” Kyle acts like he doesn’t know what that means. But wouldn’t he know? Ravishan heard her call him that in his original vision of the Rifter. Like, it was basically the first thing he ever knew about John?

Is it weird that after months of living together, Kyle has never met John’s friends?

“The conversation reminded Kahlil of talking to the bones. Everything alluded to something else. One word might mean another thing completely. “Sword” could be “a key.” “A key” could be “death.”

I love the allusions to double-entendres and duality in Kyle’s chapters. This quote is particularly cool because Kyle’s sword is a key and the key that is sent to him is the key that opens the Rifter’s death.

Kyle says that the bones spoke in riddles because “their lives depended on deception”. This seems to imply that the oracles are intentionally obscuring info or holding something back.

On John’s public level of physical intimacy: Kahlil notes that in private, John could be very different. I wonder if he means in private with him or with other men that he’s observed John with?

“The ritual interrogation of ordering a breakfast in this world” 

I feel ya Kahlil; I still get stressed out by this. So many follow-up questions!

“In his own world, Kahlil saw such ugly things. He had done such hateful things.”

The use of different tenses here is interesting: “saw” vs “had done”, rather than “had seen” and “had done”. I don’t feel like I know enough about grammar to comment beyond just pointing this out.  :D Also, what hateful things is he referring to, I wonder?

When Laurie is doing her “reading” for Kahlil, we get this quote:

“Suddenly, he felt something brush against him, very softly, almost like a breath of air. An old, musty scent washed over him. Kahlil recognized the smell, even as weak as this was. ”

Wonder what that familiar scent is? It doesn’t sound like the description of the smell of Gray Space.

Kahlil doesn’t remember ever eating in front of John. That seems weird, after they’ve lived together for months!

“He had barely been conscious. His entire body had ached with bruises and cuts. He remembered feeling ravenous and nauseous at the same time.”

This is Kahlil’s memory of the night John gave him the apple. This quote slays me. Where the hell was Kahlil? What happened to him?

“He had staggered through the darkness down the staircase, and John had off-handedly said, “Welcome home” and offered him an apple.”

This is so interesting! John says welcome home after Kahlil comes *down* the staircase, almost like he knows he was away, even though he just came from his room.

“One time John went to Bill’s house, and Bill’s grandma made John stand in the bathtub with a rubber hose tied around his waist,”

Why did I get a weird, kinky vibe from this?

Bill’s description of the bonfire… he was definitely high, right?

Chapter 5

My biggest impression of this chapter is the character dynamic between John, Laurie, and Bill. He is so different from them. It makes me wonder if they had all stayed in Nayeshi what their relationships would have evolved into.

Why do I find John’s driving a manual so hot? Something about shifting gears that really does it for me…

I love the way John is never baited by Laurie and Bill. He’s so calm, and so grounded in who he is. I want a friend like John.

John is so connected with the natural world. I wonder if his sense of isolation and his introversion are actually caused by his connection to the earth? Like, he is so deeply moved by his connection to nature to the point, so much so that he cannot communicate it to anyone else  who doesn’t feel it, and it’s caused him to even stop trying. Interesting that Kyle is also very moved by the natural world of Nayeshi. I think if they’d had more time together they would have bonded over this.

I’m super curious about John’s aversion to the Great Gate stones and to Gray Space. I suspect that both might have to do with how they damage the world of Basawar, which is essentially damaging John himself.

Once they’re in Basawar, John catigates himself and feels super guilty and responsible for turning the key and getting them transported there. But this scene makes it super clear that Laurie and Bill were encouraging him to do it. Not that it’s their fault, but I don’t think John should be so hard on himself.

Aaaaand, that’s it for this week! Ask/DM/reblog/reply with any thoughts on my notes! I’d love to hear what you think. And join in next week (March 19 - 25) for Chapters 6 -10!