#partyinbasawar

[seeroftodayandtomorrow]

The Rifter group reread

Chapters 103-107

I don't have many notes on these chapters. Also, I kind of messed up my notes, so if you're confused, that's why.

Chapter 103

-After what feels a long time, we're finally back with Kyle being tortured.

-I can totally imagine Laurie writing English obscenities in between the sacred Payshmura writings.

-I still retain a sense of sympathy for Laurie, and I can -up to a point- understand her doing what she can to try and go back in time and keep them from going to Basawar in the first place. But at this point, she is just evil.

Chapter 104

-Yes, take the Yasi'halaun (the only thing that can kill you) back to the enemy's stronghold, that's a great idea, John!

-On the other hand, it saves him the trip back to fetch it

Chapter 105

-Ji's death must be quite a shock to the Fai'daum community, as she was not only a beloved leader and trusted advisor, but she must also have been one of their only constants for a long period of time

-Rousma is so cute it kind of spoils the drama of the scene a little

Chapter 106

-I profoundly dislike the wording of things like, "women inducted into the issusha'im", or, "sacred beds". I could understand Ravishan thinking in those terms, as he was raised with them, but John...? It's women being tortured in the vilest way imaginable, and I wish John wouldn't think in euphemisms.

-If Laurie succeeded and destroyed Basawar on the process, wouldn't Ravishan/Kyle die anyway? So there's really no reason forJohn to do what she says

Chapter 107

-The Rifter equivalent to Harry Potter's "All was well" : John is all right

Only the epilogue to go now...

[fakexpearls]

The Rifter Re-Read Notes: Chapters 98-102

I can see the end! It’s so close!!!

Chapter 98:

“Just Jath’ibaye,” John said. “I’m no one’s lord.”  I marked this because John has yet to accept the name, as he still refers to himself (and is referred to in the narrative) as John. Whether this is a stylistic choice by Hale to keep the timelines clearly separated or not, I think it also speaks to John’s identity as the Rifter. Jath’ibaye is the Rifter, not John. We see that has changed in the other narrative (even Ji calls him Jath’ibaye).

“The bone shimmered and then melted into John’s hands, leaving them feeling warm and just a little stronger.” So....the bone dissolved into him, right? I want to be sure I’ve read that correctly. But it also made him stronger, like hew as absorbing the strength of past Rifters. That was pretty cool.

“Only here on the seventh terrace, where the watchtowers and the Temple of the Rifter stood, did the buildings retain their structural integrity.” I know John didn’t avoid the temple on purpose but...coincidence? Did he subconsciously avoid it?

“I’d be far more offended if you didn’t allow women inside the temple than if you did.” John is so earnest here, but I also imagine a bit of sarcasm? Also, he’s a good egg. 

“Their Rifter was a the promise of divine justice and unfailing courage. John could promise neither of those things. He was tired and hurt and worried that all he could bring these people was more ruin.” John never accepts the religious icon part of the Rifter, as we know. I liked this because it showed the humanity to a God, which we discussed before with previous chapters. John is just a tired man. But he has all these people bowing down to him after he created all this ruin to get to his lover. 

Chapter 99:

“Even after all the ccrushing, bloody injuries he had endured, the thought of being burned alive still terrified him. The memory of the writhing, charred bodies on the Holy Road curled up in his mind, triggered by the sharp scent of smoke and veru oil. He couldn’t imagine any worse pain than burning. But the fires needed to be extinguished and there was no one else to do it.” Poor John, even though he created all that wreckage - and flame - he is still trying to heal (with no time to do so) from his own tragedies and horror. Which leads to my next highlighted section... “John almost broke down then. He could never even hope to mend the damage he had done here. The destruction seemed endless and irreparable. He didn’t know if he could stand to see any more burned remains or crushed bodies. He wanted to walk away to somewhere quiet and safe to escape from the all-encompassing ruin.”  To be honest, John hasn’t had a minute’s rest since arriving in Basawar where he wasn’t driven by some plan. He’s finally able to slow down (or slow down by his standards) and take note of all he’s done. “But he knew he couldn’t give up. He had brought this devastation down on Vundomu and he had to do all he could to make amends.” UNLIKE THE CHURCH EVER DID. But also, more crying about John being a good guy. “The kahlirash’im prayed for strength. But common priests and workmen wept. They begged the Rifter for mercy, begged him not to end their world.” I wonder if the kahlirash’im were also begging him for the world not to end, but in their prayers...or in private.  “You knew that I would do this?” John asked. “Not always.” Ji said.” I just really liked this. Ji with her all-knowing but never reading too far into it.  “John felt odd using the term ‘us’ so freely with Wah’roa. He’d hardly spent more than two days with the man, but during that time they had labored and suffered for a common cause. They had saved lives and stabilized much of Vundomu. John couldn’t help but feel a bond in that.” I liked this passage because it reminded me how much I did not like the previous war/planning sections with the Fai’daum.    Chapter 100: “John expected him to stand and embrace him. Instead Ravishan collapsed down against the floor, prostrating himself at John’s feet.” Hi, I hated this entire section SO MUCH. It felt so out of character for Ravishan.  Chapter 101:

“I never crossed to Nayeshi to find the Rifter. He crossed to Basawar and found me.” Look, I’m not saying soulmates...but.  “And most importantly, they will not be able to bring another Rifter from another time to Basawar. (with the destruction of the gates).” “Two Rifters? Is that possible?” Arren asked.” ....what do you guys think? Two Rifters? I don’t think it’s possible, but I’m curious what you guys think. 

“Don’t worry too much. Things will work out. We only need to give them the chance to do so.” “I’ll give them the chance,” John assured her.” Ji wasn’t wrong...it just took years for those things to work out.  Chapter 102: “He wracked the land with fury at what he had done with his own hands.” This is a beautiful sentence; it paints a great picture of John in the moment.

[notesfromnayeshi]

Group Reread: Chapters 98 - 102

Chapter 98

No notes!

Chapter 99

“John stared down at the sea of fire. The smoke burned his eyes and caught in his throat. Even after all the crushing, bloody injuries he had endured, the thought of being burned alive still terrified him.”

I have a pretty vivid memory of being terrified along with John the first time I read this. I figured Ginn Hale was building up to some really awful suffering, and it was almost a physical relief when we find out it doesn’t hurt him.

“John almost broke down then. He could never even hope to mend the damage he had done here. The destruction seemed endless and irreparable. He didn’t know if he could stand to see any more burned remains or crushed bodies. He wanted to walk away to somewhere quiet and safe to escape from the all-encompassing ruin. But he knew he couldn’t give up. He had brought this devastation down on Vundomu and he had to do all he could to make amends.”

Clearly John blames himself, but do we blame him? Does anyone else in Basawar? He did probably save lots of people in Vundomu from being killed during the battle with the Ushiri’im. Even still, it’s kind of hard to forgive John for losing his shit and not being a bit more careful when he knows what he is capable of.

“I am human,” John said. He immediately realized that he was wrong. A human being didn’t tear stones apart with his bare hands or ride on storm winds. Human beings died when they were impaled, poisoned, and shot. Humanity was no longer his to claim. John felt an almost physical loss at the thought. “I was human,” John amended.”

Ooh, this is a really interesting idea! If he thinks he was human at some point and isn’t any longer, what was the turning point? Was it when the issusha’im cast their spell? Or when he crossed to Basawar? When he got control of his powers?

Chapter 100

“I beg you to forgive my offenses against you, most holy lord,” Ravishan whispered. His eyes were clenched closed. His hands were locked together in prayer. “Ravishan,” John said softly. “Don’t do this.” “I looked upon you and did not know you,” Ravishan continued as though he hadn’t heard John. “I felt your perfect love but only filled my own heart with lust—”

If John had been with Ravishan when he woke up, I wonder if maybe Ravishan wouldn’t have thought he’d lost John to the Rifter. This whole scene is heartbreaking and I can’t help but suspect that the kahlirash’im who were there with Ravishan got inside his head and convinced him that John had changed and that their love was a sin or something. The comment about being filled with lust definitely brought to mind all the brainwashing and prejudice that Ravishan grew up with in Rathal’pesha.

Chapter 101

“Wah’roa,” Ji responded evenly, “even if the Payshmura do acknowledge Jath’ibaye as the Rifter, they may not submit to his will.” She went on before Wah’roa could argue, “They have already destroyed four Rifter incarnations before this one. They have the means to fight him.”

Ok so… in an earlier chapter John reads that five Rifters have been brought to Basawar from Nayeshi. I guess this could be a mistake, but I prefer to imagine that there was one Rifter that got away and is living a quiet, eternal life somewhere on one of the islands where the jalapeno peppers grow.

“Silence seemed to fill the chamber like a physical presence, isolating each of them and insulating them in their own thoughts. Ravishan’s head tilted back a little and John realized that he’d fallen asleep. His face was beautifully placid, particularly compared to the troubled expressions everywhere else in the room.”

It kills me that this is the last time they're going to be together

“You saw Fikiri hurt Ravishan?” John asked. He couldn’t say kill. He couldn’t even bear to think it. “I saw them fighting in ruins. Perhaps the remains of Umbhra’ibaye. But it doesn’t make sense. Fikiri looked much older than Ravishan. There were bones there, but nothing like the ones I’ve seen before. Then the vision was gone.”

Ugh, and now we have prophecy catch-22s! If Ji had not put John on edge about Fikiri by telling him about this vision, he might never have go to Umbhra’ibaye to save Ravishan. The worst part of this is that it's actually Kyle that Ji saw, but neither of them knew that.

“And you think this all could happen years from now?” “If I had to guess I’d say Fikiri looked like he was fifty.” John relaxed a little. He guessed that even he and Fikiri could make their peace given thirty years.”

I wonder if John ever thought back on this conversation and considered that this vision could still come true after Ravishan died.

“He comforted himself, wondering if Ravishan was still sleeping. Probably. Though most likely, he’d wake up in another hour or so. It wasn’t like him to sleep through an entire day. Perhaps they would make love properly then.”

Cue tears now.

“John gently touched the soft mosses, admiring their resilience. The mosses seemed to curl against John’s hands, as if they somehow returned his affection.”

Making friends with moss. Here’s the sweet John I know and love.

“Fikiri lunged forward much faster than John expected. Fighting beside Sabir’s troops had honed his skills. A wrenching pain exploded through John’s chest as Fikiri drove his curse blade into his heart. John stumbled back from the impact and Fikiri sprang away from him. A terrible, searing pain burned into John’s flesh. The ground shuddered beneath John’s feet. Overhead, faint streaks of clouds suddenly darkened and rolled into black masses. Fikiri watched him with an almost radiant expression, blind to the darkening sky. “You are such a fucking idiot!” John snarled.”

I really, really love that last line. John swears so good.

“The wind swirled down around him. It caressed him with spring warmth and the scents of distant forests as it lifted him high into the air. John drank in the force of the wind and slowly descended back to the ground only a step away from Fikiri.”

I just noticed that he actually levitates here.

“I think that’s a disappointment you’re just going to have to learn to live with,” John replied. “I’m not going to die, Fikiri. I can’t die. I’m the Rifter and nothing you do will ever harm me. You understand? You can’t hurt me. Not now, not ever.”

This is seriously just so badass. Not very well-considered, but god it feels good in the moment.

Chapter 102

No notes, just endless tears.

[kind-destroyer-god]

Group Rifter Reread - Book 4 notes

I wasn’t even gonna post this but I thought I had some good notes this time. Let’s see...

I think book 4 was where things started coming together for me. Lots of info, even though we don’t see my beloved Kahlil, we get a lot of John being the Rifter, which I also like. A lot of foreshadowing as well, and I start to get nervous.

“That man was a colleague of mine who now has a price on his head. He joined the Fai’daum.” - Hann’yu being Hann’yu. Also, we start to see the Fai’daum more sympathetically.

“ [...] some kind of allergic reaction or possibly a sensitivity to the fungus that formed the mycorrhizae sheathing the plant’s roots.” - John is such a nerd omg

““In combat practice two days ago,” Fikiri said. “Ravishan did it.”” - Fikiri kinda trying to turn John against Ravishan and John doesn’t even notice...

“Even Behr and Loshai don’t know why you did it.” - Do they not know about the key? I don’t remember. Or did they just not tell Fikiri yet?

Here’s a bunch of super sad and heartbreaking stuff I thought was pretty significant, and makes the happy ending so much more worth it imo. I think an interesting theme of these books is that sometimes there are no good choices, sometimes things are bad, but we gotta keep going and try to carve out our space and our happiness (of course god-like powers always help lol):

“He didn’t want to think about what he had done to Fikiri. At the time, he hadn’t really known what would be expected of the boy. But even if he had, John knew he would have forced Fikiri up those steps anyway. He would have done it because Rathal’pesha was the key to his return home. He could offer himself the excuse that Laurie and Bill were both depending on him. He could tell himself that it was only a matter of numbers—the needs of three to that of one. He could say that Fikiri wouldn’t have been alive at all if it hadn’t been for him. John had simply made the best of the options he had been given. He had done what needed to be done. He wanted to take some consolation in the truth of all that, and yet none of it made him feel good or just. It made him feel sick with himself and with the world that surrounded him.”

“Sometimes his life seemed like nothing but a series of ugly choices. Putting his dog down or having it live on in crippling pain, lying to his family about his life or losing them for the sake of honesty. There never seemed to be a painless option, only degrees of what he could live with and what he could not bear.”

“It was regret, John supposed. Another right choice that he had made that hadn’t been much better than the wrong choice. And what for? So that he could end up here, in this stronghold of repression, lying awake at night fantasizing about Ravishan and praying that he didn’t get them both killed. What consolation was he supposed to take in knowing that his father, an entire world away, knew he was gay? Pointless, John thought. Sometimes life was simply pointless.”

“He had made hard and even cruel choices, but in the end they were the ones he knew were right. There was no use in regretting them.”

“He hates it here. He hates all of us. He wants to go home. He wants his mother. The kind of thing that boys say when they’re hurt and scared.” 

“Even scaling the face of a steep incline, with his body pressed against the frigid rock, hand and footholds seemed to simply open where he needed them. It gave him an odd feeling of security, as if the mountain itself were cradling him, and it would not let him fall.” - How about those Rifter powers huh

“He didn’t cry like Fikiri, but John knew that Ravishan had endured far worse for much longer.” - Again how they both endured similar situations but turned out different. Ravi’s was probably even worse what with being gay?

“I want to cross into Nayeshi with you and…I want the life I can have there with you.” - I’m just crying rn

“He never seemed to expect happiness and that made giving it to him so much more of a pleasure.” - Stoppppp being sappy

“Within the Basawar culture, Samsango was perfectly consistent. He was kind and just. It was only from John’s point of view that a contradiction emerged.” - He’s like a racist grandpa...

“He suddenly thought of Kyle, recalling the way his old roommate had, at times, just stood there staring at him. He, too, must have been shocked by the society around him. John wondered which of his own actions had sent waves of secret revulsion through Kyle.” - You fool, Kyle had such a crush on you

“He had fixed John with a look that was half-shock and half-accusation, but he had said nothing. John had taken as much of Fikiri’s wound as he could without losing his own fingers. Now both their palms and wrists were crossed with the same tender, red scars like some blood-brother pact gone terribly wrong.” - Idk, I feel like John literally feeling Fikiri’s wounds in the flesh is somehow significant?

“But, you know, it’s like anything. You get used to it.”“I don’t know if I want to get used to it.” John scowled at his red fingers. “It can’t be helped.” Samsango shrugged. “You do something enough and it becomes part of your nature.”

Payshmura symbol of peace -  ✌️ 

“he could still remember the boy’s name. Saimura.” - My son!

“partial descriptions of a miraculous steam engine, new printing presses, and the brilliant street lamps of Nurjima.” - Worldbuilding!!

“Eloci Nass’ilem.” Hann’yu smiled fondly. “She wasn’t allowed to write nearly enough in her time.” - Woman writer!!!!

“If you keep bullying me like that, Behr is going to take pity on me and you know where that could lead,” - DOES ALIDAS IS GAY? All signs point to Y E S

“He didn’t flip through the pages as John had; rather, he treated them with care and read with interest.” - Alidas loves books

“images of black holes ripping through the skies, tearing away color and light from the land the way a rupture in the hull of an airplane could whip away all life within. He shuddered in revulsion—as if those two lambs were once again dying in his hands and he could not stop it from happening.” -  Is John seeing what would happen if they opened the gates again?

“He reached the doorway of the shrine but didn’t come out. Instead, he slumped down to the floor and pressed his forehead against the wall. His eyes were clenched shut, but tears still dribbled down his cheeks. He clamped his hands over his mouth to cover the sound.” - Hann’yu crying because of the girl they had to kill.

“Somewhere in him there had been a self-image of a man who was brave enough to suffer for his convictions. A man who would not stand by as a girl was murdered in front of him. Now revulsion and recrimination were eating that ideal away.” - Bad choices all around. Poor John.

“There was even a big, golden dog. Nobody tried to kill her or cook her.” - Ji!!!

“They made you burn your own mother?” - Honestly Ravishan’s life just makes me cry tbh

“You’ve had a crappy life.” - Understatement of they MILLENIUM.

“he had a strange sense of being watched.” - Damn Fikiri

“You think I’d be this calm if the Rifter were here?” - LMAO

“We can tell you many things, but none are certain and many are lies.” - I just like this quote

“John caught whispers of ruin and fires, the lost key, the demoness, the Rifter, and Jath’ibaye.” - Just thought it was neat that John hears them talking about himself but doesn’t know lol

“It wasn’t that his fear of Dayyid had lessened, but rather that his anger towards the man had grown.” - FUCK DAYYID

“You’ve baked Dayyid into a giant cookie which we will offer to the unsuspecting leaders of the Fai’daum?” John responded glibly. Both Ravishan and Ashan’ahma exchanged a brief smile. “No. Where do you get these ideas?” - John reads ASOIAF confirmed.

“I don’t think knowing how is as important as remembering that I can,” - He says this when he pulls Fikiri out of the gray space. L o v i n g  this BAMF!Jahn

“I never have to question myself or fear that I am on the wrong path, because Parfir is with me in everything.” - Fanatics are scary. There’s people who think like this in our world.

“He wasn’t here to fight the injustices of the Payshmura religion or to teach Dayyid some humility. He had come to Rathal’pesha to find a way for himself, Bill, and Laurie to escape this entire world. He’d promised to show Ravishan a kinder, better life in Nayeshi. No matter what he couldn’t lose sight of those things. He just needed to endure all of this.” - Interesting to see how his point of view will shift.

That’s all there is for Book 4! Tomorrow I’ll do book 5 and last week’s chapters and then I’ll be 100% caught up!!! Hmu to talk about this if you want!

[therifterseries]

redoing some things on this blog, and we now have a new blog recs page for people who love the rifter series, occasionally post about it or just love it as we do! if you’re not already on there and want to be added just shoot us an ask :) 

also hi hello dying rifter fandom. i hope you are all well!!! how is everyone?? #looks at the 6 or so people in this tiny fandom

i see ya’ll started a reread... how’s that goin? pain and suffering hit yet?

[seeroftodayandtomorrow]

The Rifter group reread

Chapters 98-102

Chapter 98:

-Don’t meet your Idol: The actual Rifter must be quite a shock to Wah’roa and the other Kahlirash’im, in that he is nothing as expected: No divine wrath and heavenly retribution, just a guy who doesn’t quite know what to do with all the power he possesses (and who definitely doesn’t want to be worshiped)

Chapter 99:

-Starving yourself won’t help Ravishan, John. Though I understand the impulse.

- “It was only Fikiri”: knowing what Fikiri is about to do and what becomes of him later, this is almost comically absurd

-I thought you could keep people alive with water and honey for quite some time

Chapter 100:

-Why do they discover Ravishan was cursed only after he awoke? What does that change? He didn’t say anything about being cursed?

-Fenn’s death is doubly sad because of  all the potential between him and Saimura

-Also, what a thing to tell someone! “He did this thing that killed him because he thought you’d approve! But don’t feel responsible for his death or anything!

-I wonder why the Kahlirash’im are always praying in front of the shrine. If they wanted something specific from the Rifter, they could just ask Jath’ibaye. So I think it’s either for the familiarity of prayer that might offer them comfort when their world has been turned upside down, or to pray for a different Rifter that might match their expectations

-I also guess they still have to learn that their Rifter has a sex life. Although, I think Wah’roa knows now.

Chapter 101:

- How does Ji turn pages?

-Ji should talk to John before ‘outing’ him as the Rifter. I guess that is one of the cases where personal feelings seem insignificant to her when looking at the whole picture, but this could have big consequences to his life, and she should at least consider his opinion or explain why she deems it necessary

-Also, maybe the fact that the RIfter this time is on the Fai’daum side and actually not in Basawar to destroy is something she should lead up with

-You should have killed Fikiri, John

Chapter 102

-What kind of woman is able to do this to other women?

-Ugh...I forgot that John just....straight up kills Ravishan. I though maybe Fikiri had used him as a shield or something. Ugh...to live with that loss, and that guilt, all this time....

[seeroftodayandtomorrow]

The Rifter group reread

Chapters 78-82

Chapter 78

-Part of the reason Ravishan wants to kill the Fai'daum is jealousy, isn't it?

-" They're enemies of the Payshmura church." - "So are we." Changing one's loyalties definitely takes some getting used to!

Chapter 79

-Saimura makes batteries of himself

-I'm not cut out for this jealousy stuff. Like, you're in immediate danger here, don't you have other things to worry about than what Ravishan might think when you sit next to Saimura (also, it is not acceptable to kill a group of people just because one of them hugs your boyfriend)

-I don't think it's okay to give John fahti without telling him what it is or why they give it to him

Chapter 80

-It's funny when you read the interrogation in the light of John/Jath'ibaye later becoming the leader of the Fai'daum. Yes, he likes men. Get used to it.

-Also I don't like Ji basically blackmailing John into joining the Fai'daum. I guess she feels like she has no choice and the end justifies the means and the need of the many and all that, but still

Chapter 81

- I think the most important thing to understand about Ji is that Ji is prepared to sacrifice anything and everything, including but not limited to herself, for her cause. Her cause is a good one, and she is a nice person when she feels she can afford to, but she is also absolutely ruthless

Chapter 82

-John beating up the Fai'daum one homophobe at a time

-But I love how we're getting to know the Fai'daum here. Not as the good guys or the bad, but as individuals, so we know there are, just like in any other group of people, assholes and nice guys among them. They have their share of bullies as well as genuinely kind people and everything in between

[notesfromnayeshi]

Group Reread: Notes on Chapters 88-92

Confession time: I wasn’t crazy about these chapters. I know they’re important for building up the tension of the rebellion and also showing John coming into his Rifter powers, but I. Don’t. Care. About. Military. Shit. Like, at all. Even when it comes with gratuitous naked group bathtime. 

Chapter 88

“John felt his face go hot and red. The words Saimura had used made the whole thing sound like a rape. Then John remembered the warm, quivering gasps of Saimura’s talisman. He remembered the sobbing that had stopped him. A sick feeling of horror sank through John. “I didn’t mean—I never—” John couldn’t think of what to say. He needed some way to make things right with Saimura, to take back what he had done.”

I wonder if this was meant as an analog to discussions about consent that happen in real life? In this case, I don’t think John could be expected to know how the talisman would have affected Saimura, and he just did what Saimura told him to do with it. But still, this just sounds a lot like the argument of someone who took advantage of an ambiguous consent situation.

“His dreams were a troubled wreck of confused guilt and longing for Ravishan. It hadn’t even been a month and yet he already felt Ravishan’s absence like a chronic ache.”

Aww, John. It hasn’t even been a whole chapter and so do I!

Chapter 89

“You survived? That’s a miracle.” Sheb’yu raised her brows. “Saimura prayed for you every night for a week, you know.” Saimura flushed, his expression deeply pained.”

This absolutely sounds like a big sister teasing a little brother about a crush. I think Saimura has had a crush on John for a while.

Sheb’yu mentions her “widow’s carriage” and “widow’s shawls” and it makes me wonder if widows actually have more autonomy and freedom in Basawar than maiden or married women. I also can’t help but wonder if Sheb’yu is faking being a widow. It’s kind of an awesome idea and a great cover for a female spy.

Chapter 90

No notes!

Chapter 91

“The moment Saimura’s hands closed around the bird’s body it went entirely still. John frowned at its strange, limp form. It didn’t appear to have a head or legs. Its long white wings sprawled out from a tiny cage of carved bones. A dark red stone hung between the bones like a heart.”

I totally missed this on previous reads, but this sounds like an animated bird skeleton kind of like Laurie’s hungry bones. Between this, the ushiri’im crossing Gray Space, and the Fai’daum’s voice transmitting stones that we heard about in Kahlil’s section it seems like there are lots of ways to communicate over distance in Basawar.

Chapter 92

“Where Ravishan was lean and scarred, Saimura appeared supple and unmarred. ”

Hmmm maybe the attraction between John and Saimura is a little bit mutual? Interesting that he compares him to Ravishan.

[fakexpearls]

The Rifter Re-Read Notes: Chapters 78-82

Better late than never....and my notes are sparse but I’m not as into the John/Ravishan timeline this read-through. 

Chapter 78

“He (John) hadn’t read anything in any Payshmura text about a Rifter controlling his power. There had been nothing but blind destruction in the old books. But then no previous Rifter had survived in Basawar for more than a few days.” Passages like this remind me of how unique John’s entire situation is. I got caught in the lull of Jath’ibaye’s life in the other timeline because he’s so settled and that’s how Kahili sees him (fun fact: I typed “Rahlil” at first because even my brain is all “same person”). All the Rifters before John never survived more than a few days, and John will go on to live there for what the reader assumes is FOREVER. The Payshmura texts had no reason to explain how a Rifter controlled their powers because there was no need. If the Rifter was calle,d it was for quick destruction and then when the demon had done the deed, it was time for death.

Chapter 79

“It seemed that power in Basawar always required bloodshed, whether it was Fai’daum witchcraft or Payshmura incantations.” It’s been discussed in chat that this series focuses on there being no good choices, only the one with less repercussions. Neither the Payshmura or Fai’daum are what the people of Basawar need, but they are the two forces that cause the most damage to the people. The fact that this always comes with blood is a fierce reminder and made me think of modern politics. While we do not always have bloodshed for beliefs (or not as commonly as Basawar), those with the most power have the scariest weapons. 

Chapter 80 had no notes.

Chapter 81

“Some of the men complain. They want girls to be quiet and shy. She’s (Tanash) not like that.”  Here is another young woman character I LOVE. I had forgotten all about her too! This particular quote made me smile because Basawar needs more women like Tanash. And I love the idea of even fictional men being displeased that they can’t control a woman. I love it. I live for that displeasure. 

“He didn’t even know the word ofr ‘gay’ in Basawar. Maybe there wasn’t one. Or if there was, it might not be a term he would care to use to describe himself or anyone he loved.” I think it’s very telling that John has never heard the word for homosexuality - my first thought was that there wasn’t a word. The word used would be part of a phrase like “in partaking in XYZ activities” or is it so taboo that there is no word? Surely there’s a word for the crime, like sodomy? 

“The entire point of creating the issusha’im is to make them wrong, to undo the future they foresee.” This is another line that jumped out at me because it’s common sense, and I’ve never thought of oracles that way! Of course people try to stop their predictions in all stories, but there’s always the lingering thought that it might not matter. How Ji says it here, there’s always the chance to make the issusha’im wrong. 

Chapter 82 had no notes.

[notesfromnayeshi]

Group Reread: Notes on Chapters 58 - 62

Chapter 58

“Standing together like this, bickering without any real anger, it was easy to forget that they were not lovers. It was even harder to remember that they never had been. He knew the heat of John’s naked skin against his own body.”

It’s interesting that he says ‘John’ here when he always thinks of him as Jath’ibaye in these sections.

“You realize you’re advocating for the same people who just tried to sacrifice you to the Bousim house?” Jath’ibaye asked. “They’re just scared,” Kahlil replied. “And they don’t know me.”

Gosh, Kahlil is so much less vindictive than Ravishan was. I think he mellowed a lot in Nayeshi. I cannot imagine Ravishan easily forgiving the council, much less trying to see things from their point of view.

“Is your bath on the left? Mine is. The layout of our apartments seems pretty similar.” “They’re identical,” Jath’ibaye said.”

He didn’t even have to think about that for a second. He knows exactly what Kahlil’s rooms look like. I can’t help but think there’s something going on there, like he wanted Kahlil to feel like John’s rooms are his own.

“A model,” Jath’ibaye replied without much interest. “The soil and stones are linked to the real lands. Ji built it to keep track of things outside of Vundomu. I just use it to grow varieties of winter moss.”

John is just so precious.

“Kahlil watched as Jath’ibaye reached under his pillow and fished out a pair of russet long johns.”

For real question, why is John keeping his pajamas under his pillow? Is this a thing that people do?

“It doesn’t have to be anything you don’t want. Just lie beside me, so that I can know you’re safe.”

Oh gosh, there’s just so much going on here. This is so revealing of John’s state of mind.

Chapter 59

“The voice broke and cut out like a bad radio signal. It was thin and desperate. Something white skittered through his sleeping mind. Bones wired together with copper. ”

Oh gosh, this is Rousma calling to him. She has been alone with evil Loshai and Fikiri for so long!

“As Kahlil watched, the scars marring Jath’ibaye’s chest seemed to fade away.”

I wonder if this is the scars literally fading or if Kahlil’s attention is just being drawn away. If it’s the first, why did it happen to suddenly a few days after the incident?

“The expression was neither brilliant nor breathtaking. Kahlil doubted that many people would have found it alluring. Jath’ibaye’s smile was simply too pure. He radiated an innocent, unguarded happiness. ”

I’m sorry, but how is that not alluring?

“But then, Ravishan wasn’t here to claim Jath’ibaye. It was Kahlil’s turn to have a lover. This lover.”

It’s kind of interesting how it took both the work and sacrifices of both Ravishan and Kahlil in order to get to this moment. If Kahlil hadn’t gone to Nayeshi, then John would never have come to Basawar. If Ravishan hadn’t met John and fallen in love and died, Kahlil would not have this future to wind up in.

“Not me. I have to admit I miss my minty-fresh gel.” “Not so fond of our Basawar gum-scouring grit?” Jath’ibaye teased.”

I love this role reversal! Kahlil referring to Nayeshi toothpaste as his and John referring to Basawar as if he’s a native. At some point Kahlil points out that John has lived there longer than he ever did, and this is a great moment that shows it.

“I’d like to give it a try. But Eriki’yu mentioned that you have duties for me. If there’s something you need done, I’ll do that instead.” Jath’ibaye started to say something but then just released a heavy sigh. He gazed at Kahlil and then looked past him to the model of Basawar spread across his table.”

I wonder what it was that he wanted Kahlil to do? My guess is that he would prefer Kahlil stayed safely inside translating that book. Poor, overprotective John. :D

Chapter 60

“He didn’t enjoy the sensation of those incantations, as they stirred boyhood memories of his own training, when Dayyid had trapped him in the darkest chambers of Rathal’pesha and done all he could to break him. ”

Does this sound as horrifying to everyone else as it does to me? I’m back on the hating Dayyid train. Woo woo!

“Everything is fine—” Kahlil began, but to his surprise, Pesha suddenly threw herself at him, gripping him in a fierce hug. She buried her head against his chest and squeezed so hard that Kahlil had to fight to breathe.”

I’m appreciating Pesha so much more on this reread. She is a doll baby.

When Besh’anya asks Kahlil if the Payshmura priests tortured him and he says no, she looks disappointed. I thought that was a bit strange. Maybe she was hoping for some anti-Payshmura propaganda?

“Kahlil held out his hand. Jath’ibaye took in the small gash and the deep concern in his expression faded away. Then he pulled Kahlil into his arms and held him.”

This will be the death of me. Overwhelmed-with-worry-and-affection is my favorite look on John.

Kahlil recounts what happened in his version of the confrontation with Dayyid in Candle Alley and it is absolutely devastating. And then that fact that he’s so traumatized by the experience that he goes over 12 years without any physical contact whatsoever. The heartbreak is so real.

Chapter 61

“The dark red blood staining her paws and claws was Jath’ibaye’s. No other blood could offer her more power. Though Kahlil had found the amount Jath’ibaye had readily sacrificed disconcerting. ”

Given the amount of blood that Kahlil has sacrificed, this is either very hypocritical or John has given a disconcerting amount.

“How old are you, Ji?” “Oh, I’ve probably stayed in this worn out body too long. Sixty years is a long time for dog-flesh to last, even with a witch wearing it.”

Ok, now I’m straight-up confused. How old is Saimura? I pictured him as younger than John from his description as a youth when John first meets him. Is this a plot-hole? Can Ji come and go from her dog body? I don’t like this!

“I couldn’t say how long I remained imprisoned before your mother took pity on me and freed me.” Ji sighed.”

I wonder why Kahlil’s mother specifically took pity on Ji over the other issusha oracles.

Chapter 62

“Kahlil swore as a rough area of the Gray Space scraped against his forearm. He stopped, staring at the tiny distortion that had bitten into his skin. It hung in front of Kahlil like a fine scratch on a glass pane. Against the gray forms of the Lisam tents and patrolling guards, the disturbance was tiny. ”

This quote comes from when Kahlil is following Fikiri’s path through the Lisam camp. Originally, I thought the disturbances in Gray Space near the Payshmura ruins were caused by John destroying the sites but maybe they were caused by Fikiri stalking around those areas for so many years.

“Fikiri resembled an old drop cloth that had been hurled across a finely carved chair.”

I laughed out loud at this line.

“There are poisons that dull his anger and wear him down. But I no longer have any way of feeding them to him,” Ourath said.”

I’m curious about what these could be. We know that Niru’mohim has pretty much the exact opposite effect, so it probably wasn’t that.

So late, but I’m a completist so I needed to post them. I should have last week’s notes (Chapters 63-67) posted later today! Then I’ll be back on schedule.

[seeroftodayandtomorrow]

The RIfter group reread

Chapters 48-52

I’m late, sorry! I was somewhere without internet. 

Chapter 48

-The Rathal’pesha priests should at least make sure their Kahlil has the means to get where he has to go

-John manages to make having no money and simple clothes seem superior - such wordly concerns are simply beneath the notice of the Kahlil. At the same time, he makes sure they have what they need. He is a good attendant to Ravishan.

-I’m so glad they get to have this week for themselves

Chapter 49

-they actually consider disobeying orders sent to Nayeshi. Kyle never did. He would have regretted having to kill John, but he would have done it.

-Nurjima seems like a much better place to be until you read about the fantastic racism. But, as John notices, at least there, they are free to talk about what isn’t right. 

Chapter 50

-when you think about it, the Paysh’mura church is a very strange religion. They claim to worship Parfir, but a very big part of their faith is summoning the Rifter to destroy the land, Parfir’s flesh, and then killing the Rifter, “Parfir’s most holy incarnation”. They use and kill the God they claim to worship.

Chapter 51

-so that’s where all hell breaks loose. It seems strangely anticlimactic to only hear about all that has happened, but I’m glad we only hear about it as I wouldn’t have wanted to read about it happening. Bill is dead, Laurie convicted for witchcraft and about to be turned into an issusha, and Ravishan accused of murdering Dayyid and about to be killed. Too many things at once for John to be able to sort it all out, and unfortunately, that means Laurie gets kind of neglected.

-John can partly withstand the effects of the fahti. Is it because he is the RIfter or because he only drank half?

Chapter 52

-Poor, kind Samsango. I want to know more about him. If the small kindnesses John showed him made him the happiest he had ever been, what has his life been like? I’m also glad he will never know his sacrifice has been in vain. 

-the casual cruelty in this chapter is staggering. Breaking the prisoners’ bones before burning them, using mere boys to transport them to the Holy Road, the snide remarks was all very upsetting.

[fakexpearls]

The Rifter Re-Read Notes: Chapters 53-57

I love and miss Kyle when we are away from his narrative and timeline for too long. 

Chapter 53

What a chapter!

““There’s no need for a truce between us,” Kahlil said. “I never thought of you as my enemy. Not even in Nayeshi. I just had a duty to do. But that’s all over now.”” I love how simple Kyle’s thoughts on his duty are here. I wonder if the previous Kahlil’s who had to bring the Rifter to Basawar were torn over the decision to kill the Rifter when the time came? I also like that Kyle just moves on quickly from that duty - it’s over, so John doesn’t have to worry about him as an enemy in any sense, etc. How much of that ties into how he was treated at the monastery, I wonder? Would he had been more set in the ways had his youth been less cruel? Would he have been more committed/less likely to become attached to John?

“Even in Nayeshi, he’d never been phsyically free with John. He had never dared to allow himself that.” Ugly frowns. Here we have Kyle behaving on instinct as Ravishan did, and I feel so bad for his poor head.  ““If there is going to be a war, then yes, you would make an invaluable weapon,” Jath’ibaye said. “But are you sure that you want to be a weapon?” “What else would I do? I am your Kahlil and so long as I am bound to you, you might as well use me.”“ I love this exchange because it’s so true to both their characters! 

“’Don’t you want me? I am well trained and no one could be more loyal to you in a fight.” Kahlil’s tone grew emphatic. “It’s not a matter of what I want,” Jath’ibaye said. “The uest is, what do you want? For yourself?”“ Another example of both their characters, but also unsubtle romantic tones. I could picture Kyle batting his eyelashes even if he didn’t know he was doing it. And that emphatic tone sure had some suggestion to it. If I had to explain them both in as few of words as possible, Kyle is the sullen cat and John is the friendly dog. Kyle gives very few to no fucks, while John gives all the fucks - enough for everyone around him and then some. “”I want to be your Kahlil. It’s all I’ve ever wanted and you know that. In Candle Alley, you told me yourself that I couldn’t run away to another life. And you were right I-” “I told you that?” Jath’ibaye’s voice was oddly soft.” *points at notes above* JUST MORE OF THAT.  Kyle is saying he just wants to be around John and it hurts me! But he’s also remembering parts of Ravishan’s life with John and that hurts me more for both of them. John has to be so confused but hopeful.

“I know what kind of man I am and what kind of life I’m made for. I was chosen and consecrated to be the guardian of a god, not a goat herder.” I feel like Kyle doesn’t really care what he’s doing or what is wanted of him, unless someone tries to take away his right to protect John. And he does not like being told about his other options. Ever. I think a lot of that attitude was partly ego-based when he was younger, but as he grew to know John in Nayeshi (in the old timeline), I think it morphed into this sense of loyalty and want to be near John. Mix in the memories from Ravishan and it’s easy to argue that they’re meant to be together in some capacity (my romantic heart:  they’re soulmates). To have John offer him another alternative is almost insulting.  

Chapter 54:

“”He brought you back as well. I never would have thought he could have done that, but here you are.”” I’m torn here because while the reader knows John didn’t bring Ravishan back, he sorta did bring Kyle back - at least to Basawar. There’s a lot of details and situations that led to them meeting up after Ravishan died and John had become Jath’ibaye (you know, maybe even fate), but still....it was meant to be?

“”I was to lead an assault into Umbhra’ibaye, send a false message to the Kahlil in Nayeshi, and then destroy everything.”” This is more of a personal note to explain the beginning of the story because before, we were all trying to remember how that all went down.

Chapter 55:

“Kahlil was still here, the vestigial remnant of a history that never existed.” This is sad. Kyle is so sure of his place in one moment and the next, feels like he has never belonged and never will. Which brings me to my next note...

“For a moment, Kahlil reveled in Ravishan’s memories. They were filled with assurance and belonging. He had been happy and he had been loved.”   (and then) “The idea of claiming Ravishan’s identity felt like theft or something worse. A wave of repulsion rolled through him as he realized how jealous and envious he was of Ravishan. Of course Kahlil wanted Ravishan’s life. He wanted it so much that it came as a relief to know that Ravishan had not lived to claim his own history.” SO MUCH SADNESS. Here is when I start to get a headache trying to analyze how if Ravishan had lived, then Kyle never would have...or he would have faded eventually - if he had even come through the gate...and I’m not going to drag us all down that road. It’s not hard to accept Ravishan and Kyle as essentially one person, but it is also very easy to make the distinctions between them with Kyle’s POV. I do like that Ji shares her own memories of the other timeline, though. She simplifies that out a bit. Her easy acceptance is easy for the reader to follow along with.

Chapter 56:

“Probably every person in this entire three-story complex had something to tell Jath’ibaye. It wasn’t as if he was Kahlil’s private deity anymore.” I really loved this line. It reads as romantic/unrequited pining and also Kahlil’s religious devotion/duty in Nayeshi. We know John was a solitary kind of guy, so I’m sure that whenever Kyle had something to say, John was there to listen. 

Chapter 57:

“In his dreams, the walls of Vundomu collapsed around him. A desperate voice called to him. As he searched through the crumbling ruins, arcs of flames exploded through the halls.” (inset oh shit” tone of voice here) It’s a memory of Ravishan dying. 

“He easily recognized the unique shadow cast by Ji’s canine body. She was up on something - a chair or a table - shaking her head as she spoke. Her back arched slightly, hackles up.” I only highlighted this because of the discussion earlier this week where we were asked who we would be in the story and I said Ji. Here we have a dog sitting on a chair, telling everyone what exactly she thinks of what they just said. Later on, she gets belly rubs and John carries her. WHAT A LIFE. Also, sort-of immortal. 

[fakexpearls]

The Rifter Re-Read Notes: Chapters 93-97

Not too many notes this week as all the world-building and plot is driving the story as we get closer to the end.

Chapter 93:

“A slab of granite slammed into John’s side. He crumpled beneath the weight. The jagged edge of stone crushed John’s ribs.” Even though this is the section of the series where John’s strength and his limits are constantly shown, some descriptions of what he can do still shock me. It took a slab of granite to slow him done - just to slow him. 

Chapter 96:

“John simple nodded. (...) His own power was immense, but it was also destructive and difficult to direct. And he couldn’t share his own invulnerability with those around him.” We start to see John becoming the leader he will be as Jath’ibaye in the years to come, and a return to his more passive ways when it’s been all destruction all the time and following orders.

“Ravishan reached up and gently touched John’s cheek. HE gazed through the darkness into John’s face. ‘I won’t be killed. My god will protect me.’ ‘No! He won’t - he can’t -’ John’s voice broke, and he realized that there were tears in his eyes. ‘He can’t protect you.’“ I will admit that I was craving one last reunion for these two, even knowing how VERY BAD things are about to get. (I feel like I’ve been saying that for ages, but we’re finally almost there...the knowledge of Ravishan’s end has weighed so heavily on the last sections for me.) We also get a lost bit of irony here, because John knows he cannot save Ravishan from everything - by Gods he’ll try - but that is dashed by Ravishan admitting he knew John was the Rifter.... So I am left wondering if he meant “My god will protect me” as in John or John’s other incarnation? Did he really manage to separate them in his mind?

“Whether you were the Rifter or not, I would have to do this, Jahn. The kahlirash’im are fighting for everything I believe in. I have to go to them.” I just keep eating my words from earlier in this timeline when I said I found Ravishan annoyingly young. He has grown so much in their time with the Fai’daum and I feel that he is fighting for what he believes in whereas before he was clinging to stay with John. 

[fakexpearls]

The Rifter Re-Read Notes: Chapters 48-52

This was such a good set of chapters! But, as I got to Chapter 51 and 52 I kept saying “Oh no. OH NO.”

Chapter 48:

I love John and Ravishan on their adventure through Basawar! I remembered this particular set of scenes from my first reread and how lovely and happy it was. Being away from the monastery is so good for the both of them personally (just....not for the world at whole).  “But Ravishan deserved to be treated better.” I just love John this chapter and how insistent John is of Ravishan’s importance. 

“Hann’yu said that many of the gaun’im are unconvinced of the need to return the Rifter to Basawar.”  I do love the politics that we see coming through here, and how aware of it Ravishan is. As a huge political figure - whether he wants to be or not - his reaction of *shrugs* made me laugh. 

“At first glance it could have passed for a historic Victorian district of Seattle.” My mental image of Basawar (well, at least the cities), was correct!

“A pair of dark green tahldi (...)” GREEN TAHLDI??? I love it!

“They had both lived in deprivation so long that this simple day of pleasure and ease came to them like a gift.” First of all, I’m still mad that the priests in Rathal’pesha are treated so poorly. But! John and Ravishan get to be together for the first time EVER!!!  It’s pure and good and they deserve it.

Chapter 49:

“It was quite clear now why Fikiri and his mother had been banished to the north. Among the guan’im, Fikiri’s light hair would have been taken as a testament of his mother’s adultery.” The adultery was discussed on the discord awhile ago, but here’s the proof! Because of Fikiri’s hair, this should have smacked me in the face.

“They hadn’t stayed long near the docks, just long enough to purchase the sheaves of dried river grass that Hann’yu had asked John to look for.” I just thought it was nice they were picking things up for Hann’yu/other priests when they were on the pilgrimage. 

“‘Just because they oppose the church doesn’t meant that they oppose Parfir,’ John reasoned. ‘Things aren’t always so clear cut.’” I really liked this quote because John has avoided the politics in Basawar for so long, but he’s not stupid or as unobservant as he comes off on occasion. 

“Ravishan regarded him with slight surprise. ‘I never know what you’re thinking. You keep things so private even from me.’  ‘I know. It’s one of my bad traits.’” Just some domestic conversation showing more about their relationship than the reader doesn’t see in the text. “When they talked about the Rifter, a lot of them seemed to think he would return to wipe the corruption in the church.” I love that idea. We’re getting to the part in the story where I don’t remember what comes too much further ahead until I’m in the chapter. But, John does come out and start destroying shit in a bit, and I love it.

Chapter 50:

I had to go back and reread this chapter and the next because SO MUCH happened so quickly that I didn’t take any notes...

As I said, shit gets real real quick here, but I really enjoy Ushman Serahm and his put-upon attitude while explaining to John that he was called back Rathal’pesha: “‘I don’t think I’ve known anyone to run the whole way. Very blonde of you.’ He flipped his long black braids back over his shoulder, opened his book, and began to read.” This man has clearly had enough of everything. But, I don’t understand what ‘Very blonde of you’ means?

“They must not brings it to us. Must not brings it to us!” The oracles are warning you all. All of you! I wonder how much the priest took the predictions from the issusha as ramblings before now and it screwed the church over? They clearly missed the signs in regards to John as the Rifter: “They puts him in the fire, another issusha hissed. They puts him in the fire and he kills us all.” I’ve always heard the issusha voices as a bit childlike. Just a note on that, but I wonder how others hear them?

“Ushman Serahn leaned against the doorframe and opened his book once more. “I really don’t have all day,” he added without looking up.” I really appreciate this fed-up priest who just wants a moment of quiet. 

Chapter 51:

This is when I started saying “oh, no” a lot. 

“Hann’yu shook his head. “I have nothing but bad news. It was like the whole world collapsed as soon as you and Ravishan left. I don’t know how to tell you.” It’s very intersting that the Kahlil’s and Rifter’s co-existence for so long in Rathaal’pesha (unbeknownst, I know), but they leave town and it all implodes. I know that it starts with Bill’s death, but the timing of it all was a great narrative choice from Ginn Hale.

“You have to understand, things were such a mess. People in Amura’taye panicked and accused half the women in the city of witchcraft. (...) After what had happened in the blood market, none of them wanted to be associated with an enemy of the priesthood.” I find it very interesting that no one is talking about the stranger(John) who closed the God’s Razor. WHY NOT???  I would think that would be more of a popular topic than anything.  “No one up here knew what to do. If Dayyid had still been alive, he would have taken control of it, but...I honestly thought it might just die down on its own.” Yes, Hann’yu. This is exactly how a hysteria ends. Just leave the common people alone and they’ll all calm down. *Eye roll* 

“Ravishan has always had a willfulness about him but not the kind of pure malice that I felt in Daayyid’s wounds.” Ravishan was never bad, but he was different and Dayyid had such an issue with it - but no one else did! Also, that pure malice coming from John....how much was the Rifter (which he refers to later as a separate part of him), and how much was his need to protect Ravishan?

“And do you know whether yous sister practiced witchcraft?” John snorted at the idea of his sister practicing witchcraft. His sister wouldn’t let her daughter watch Sesame Street because it was full of the devil’s work.” This is a new nugget about John’s family back in Nayeshi! I like the way the truth serum worked so exactly - the question asked how to be precise. Here, John says his sister never practices witchcraft, because his sister back in Nayeshi doesn’t. But had they asked about Laurie directly, I think the answer would have differed. 

Chapter 52:

John refers to the part of himself that houses the power of the Rifter as a separate entity in this chapter, and I found it very interesting that he does so, whereas before he accepted that he was the Rifter and he did xyz: “He felt something deep and dormant within him had suddenly come awake. And it could do what he could not. (...) It would chatter stone, burn iron ignite the air and sear the oceans into smoke. It would devour mountains, split the earth, and tear the atmosphere to pieces. It would destroy worlds just to keep living. To survive, it would do anything. Destory everything.” This is super powerful imagery, which I love. I want to think of all of this as John’s survival instinct that was never needed before, but like I said above, I think it could also be him placing the Rifter and the Rifter’s powers as a separate being within him?

The end scene where Ravishan comes from him is what I was reminded of last week when Ravishan pulled John from the debris in the blood market!  

[notesfromnayeshi]

Group Reread: Notes on Chapters 38 - 42

Chapter 38

“That was a rasho that our Jahn took down. And the man had been mistreating ladies all evening. Jahn may very well have been acting as Parfir’s wrath for the offenses”

The irony is non-sop!

I’m finding myself feeling the slightest twinges of sympathy for Dayyid in some of these chapters. On my first two reads I absolutely loathed him and found him to have no redeeming qualities, so this is a weird change of heart for me. Don’t get me wrong! I still hate that ass, but I also kind of feel like he’s more human this time around and not totally evil.

“John looked to see how Ravishan was responding to all of this. His expression was distant, his eyes still fixed on Dayyid’s back. He didn’t even seem to be listening to the conversation.”

Ravishan’s actions during the bonfire remind me of the trance that Fikiri was in when John led him up the steps.

I definitely think John caused the storm.

Chapter 39

“John nodded and started down the muddy street. He doubted that he needed to lead Ravishan by the hand any longer, but he didn’t want to let go of him, either.”

I can’t even take notes anymore, I’m just over here crying.

“When he turned back to hand the other blanket to Ravishan, he found that Ravishan still wore his wet cassock. Some color had come back into his face and a blush was spreading across his cheeks. His expression was a weird mix of arousal and misery.”

I love the realness of this. It's not sexy at all, he's just traumatized.

“He glanced to Ravishan. He knew it was a double standard of the deepest affection that kept him from applying the same expectation to Ravishan.”

I think this is a great point that applies to us as readers too. Is Ravishan as sympathetic of a character as he used to be? Should he be sympathized with? Does the fact that he killed a girl under duress, or that she was also a murder make any difference? I know I’m personally doing exactly what John did and cutting Ravishan major slack because I love him as a character. But if Fikiri had been the one to start the bonfire, would I give him a pass here? I feel like I wouldn’t.

“Ravishan wiped the back of his hand across his face. He kept his head lowered. “I think I always knew they were criminals, but they weren’t bad. They never hurt anyone. There was even a big, golden dog. Nobody tried to kill her or cook her. ”

Ji! How funny that Ji tells Kyle in a later chapter about this and it feels like new info. But I’m with everyone else in that the Ji/Rousma/Ravishan’s sister/Kyle’s Sister connection was all very vague and confusing on my first read.

“god, I’m babbling like a baby.”

More irony! Ravishan is literally addressing his god.

Chapter 40

“Dayyid probably spent all last night sharpening his razors for what little hair I’ve managed to grow out,” Ravishan muttered.”

I'm just going to headcanon that Dayyid has been continually punishing Ravishan by cutting his hair because there is no way that it hasn't grown longer in two years.

“Soon he was familiar with the barrack-like chambers where the ushiri’im slept”

Oh really, John? Rawr.

“Locked cabinets held tattered white T-shirts, work pants, a baseball and a wide variety of postage stamps.”

Hilarious that they have so many postage stamps but the letter that John opened didn’t have postage on it. Maybe Ji didn’t know about that.

“John stepped closer and placed his hand against the cold iron of the door. A feeling of utter revulsion swept over him. He pulled his hand back. The same feeling had come to him from the yasi’halaun”

I might be getting twisted up in the timeline here, but when did John ever have this feeling near the yasi’halaun. The only time he would have been near it would be with Kyle in Nayeshi, right? And he never seemed to mention anything about Kyle’s knives making him uncomfortable.

“They can only look into the future. They cannot alter it. That is the work of the Kahlil. Perhaps your question should be put to him.”

This is doubly interesting! First, what exactly does it mean that the Kahlil can alter the future? Do they mean just by taking regular actions they can change the possible outcome of events? Or is there more to it than that? Also, why are they speaking like a Kahlil has already been ordained? Interesting!

The concept of all the Rifters coming from a small geographic region and a relatively short segment of time is really interesting! That means that theoretically some of the older Rifters of the past could actually have been born in Nayeshi after John. I also find it interesting that the only other Rifter we get a description of is said to look like Laurie, who we know also looks a bit like John, who both look “Eastern”. Is there some connection between the Kingdom of the East and Nayeshi?

Chapter 41

I love, love, love this chapter. I love John’s birthday celebration and the slower, more contented tone that we get. It’s such a refreshing lull leading into some of the most intense sections of the book.

“Ravishan leaned against the doorframe, letting the building take his weight. His hands were loosely tucked into the pockets of his coat while his arms hung slack. No twenty-year-old should have looked so at ease with exhaustion.”

Poor baby. No further comment; I just wanted to leave this here.

“We common people don’t celebrate our births the way you gaun’im do.”

Does Ravishan see himself as common? He is a member of a gaun'im family, technically. I guess it’s possible that he doesn’t actually know that. He was raised in the north by his parents, Ji, and other Northern Fai’daum peasants, so it makes sense that he would identify with that.

“It was a simple pattern of two leaves curling out from a single vine.”

I think this might be the symbol that Jath’ibaye eventually takes for his seal? In an earlier chapter Kyle mentions seeing a pattern of two leaves all over Jath’ibaye’s palace in Nurjima.

Chapter 42

“Flames arced through the air. The sound of tearing metal cut through the morning silence.”

Interesting that this sounds just like the description of Fikiri opening Gray Space. Now that we know he was listening, I wonder if he tried to use the technique and could never quite master it.

I adore this confrontation between John, Ravishan, and Fikiri. Ravishan’s total disdain for Fikiri is amazing and John has superhuman patience. I love them both so much.

“Take a nap. I need someone who can appreciate my gossip like second wife.” “You don’t have a first wife,” John said.”

I never noticed this bit of irony between Hann’yu and John before!

Hann’yu tells Dayyid that it takes years for the Kahlil to find the Rifter in Nayeshi. I wonder if it really took Kyle that long? He seems to have been with John for a long time if he was sleeping under his childhood bed and stealing their cereal.

[kind-destroyer-god]

The Rifter Group Reread -  Book 2 notes

I am finally FINALLY caught up but now you’ll get all my notes AT ONCE (sorry)

We start with John’s POV. He overhears Ji and helps the Rashan’im save Fikiri and kill the Fai’daum. He saves both Alidas and Saimura, whomst I love. Then he finally gets to Rathal’pesha:

“Grass shoots seemed to curl around his fingers like they were returning his grip, gentle and assuring.” - Why do I love all mentions of his Rifter powers so much??

“Fikiri but he knew that the boy was only thirteen, too young to be despised by anyone, but especially by his own father. John knew all too well how badly that mere idea could hurt a young man.” - Way to make me cry here

“John didn’t doubt that Pivan felt a deep reverence, but the best John could do was respect a spirituality he didn’t share.” - Joke’s on both of you, John is actually god lmao

“John felt slightly guilty as he continued chanting prayers that compelled Fikiri to mindlessly climb the steps. It seemed like a sinister power to have over the boy and one that, as a decent person, he shouldn’t use. On the other hand, they were making much better time this way and Fikiri wasn’t crying.” - Such a shitty situation. 

“A year ago he would have found such a thought absurd. Now he simply accepted it.” - Now you’re getting it lol

“ The position offered John a clear view of his muscular throat and sharp jaw. The rest of his face was in shadow, his tall body hidden in the folds of his priest’s robes. And yet John knew him at once.” - “muscular throat” John your crush is showing omg

“The strength and heat of Ravishan’s body pressed so close and the scent of his skin seemed almost heady. John felt his heartbeat skip in a wild rhythm as Ravishan’s jaw brushed against the tender skin of his neck. It felt so good after nearly a year of physical isolation.” - My poor touch-starved son!!!

“Ravishan smiled such an honest, handsome smile that John shied, withdrawing further from his openly affectionate expression. It was one thing for him to find Ravishan handsome, even to indulge in a brief flirtation, but he would be worse than a fool if he allowed himself to believe that Ravishan returned his desire.” - Stop being dumb

And then we get to Kahlil’s POV! Which I love way more now than I ever did!!! I appreciate it!!!

“Jath’ibaye’s reputation alone warranted concern. He was rumored to be a Shir’korud demon, a deranged Payshmura oracle and even an undead Eastern sorcerer. Some whispered that he slept with men. Others claimed he consorted with beasts.” - This is what we first see of Jath’ibaye

“He had served the Fai’daum during the war with the Payshmura priests. It was believed that his assaults had led the Payshmura to unleash the Rifter. The entire northlands had been devastated in just a few hours. Jath’ibaye had been one of the few men to walk out of the ruins alive. Now he and his surviving Fai’daum followers held the fortress of Vundomu and all of the lands lying north of there. They owned coal and iron mines, as well as the taye fields that had once been gaunsho’im holdings. If there were any ruins left of Rathal’pesha or Amura’taye, those too were in Jath’ibaye’s grasp.” - Why does no one know he’s the Rifter, though?

“It felt like a door key. Kahlil supposed that he found it familiar and reassuring because it implied that there was a place for him; a door that would open to him. He supposed this sensation must be one he carried with him from a time when he had belonged somewhere, when he’d had a home.” - This is heartbreaking enough on its own but the worst part is that Kahlil’s wrong.

“ The sky would darken to a dull slate but it never attained pure black. A darker night, a consuming blindness, existed within his mind. By comparison, the night sky over Nurjima was only a shadow.” -  Does he mean the sky in the North because there was less light? When he was ushiri? Or does he mean Nayeshi? John also says he can see in the dark but I assumed it was Rifter Powers...

“Even now he caught himself stroking the key. The gesture had already become a habit. It soothed him just to touch it. His body relaxed as he traced the curves and edges of its form. The metal was always warm from lying against his bare skin.” -  I think this mixes Khalil's past memories of losing the key and his crush on Alidas.

“I’ve seen him tear boys like you apart with his bare hands.” - Talking about Jath’ibaye. Was this about something specific?

“It was the face in the photograph he had been carrying when he had first reached Nurjima.” - A photograph??? I have no memory of this. Was it from Nayeshi? Do they have photographs in Basawar?

“little astonished to see the unorthodox shortcuts he took.” - Just realized he means the gray space lol

“Making Yu’mir happy gave Kahlil an odd rush of pleasure. It felt good to do something kind for another person just for their sake, rather than out of duty or necessity. It made him feel like he might actually be a good man deep down.” - Oooh my fuckingg goddddd That’s all for my useless notes on book 2! On to book 3!