#she doesnt know fuck all about queer people and she wont listen to me .

[mechacringekitty]

love that the topic of bottom surgery accidentally came up once in a conversation with my mom and she seems super opposed to the idea LMAO .i love having a "supportive" parent. she's so men hater core

[thoughts-and-gayers]

ive been thinking about civil rights recently, specifically trans rights, as thats a marginalized group im a part of thats actively being hurt. i see people talking about the awful things done to trans people, the hate speech, the bills signed into law that make it dangerous for us to even exist. its terrifying to me, to think that im going to be leaving high school and entering a world that actively wants to kill me.

i just watched jessie gender's multi-hour video on jk rowling, and it articulated so many of my thoughts about transness in our. current society that i had no idea how to say. one thing she emphasized was how talking about these specific people, these little one-off incidents, is counterproductive. obviously things like hogwarts legacy and "what is a woman" matter, but should we really be talking about them as much as we are when anti-trans bills are passed faster than we can keep track of?

the way our society is right now, short and snappy thoughts about those tiny 24 hour stories are the only thing that gets attention. when you talk about trans rights, youre saying "dont support harry potter", youre not saying "stop the us government from actively hurting trans people".

but people dont listen when you talk about the big stuff. talking about the latest drama is much more entertaining than talking about the actual horrors that people are facing. we're at a point where we can call pointing and laughing at bigots a form of activism.

its so much easier not to learn about the deeper issues. for non-marginalized folk especially, supporting the marginalized celebrity is a lot easier than addressing systematic issues. but we dont get that privilege. we have to go to bat for the big shit, with or without allies. we dont get the luxury, the privilege, of not taking the time to understand and address bigotry and its sources.

im so tired. its exhausting even just learning about everything thats happening. and im not out of high school yet, so theres not a lot i can actually do out there. im trying to learn everything i can about everything thats happening, and its just so exhausting, all the time. on top of that, i also spend my energy on educating other people, trying to get them to understand what's taken me hours of work to get to myself.

and as a white person, i cant even imagine how much harder it must be for POC, especially when they exist at intersections of queerness, womanhood, disability, and/or more. im trying my best to learn about specific struggles that don't necessarily apply to me, but theres so much that a lot of the time i dont even know where to start.

cis, straight, male, white, abled, allo; people who fall under these dont have an obligation to learn about any marginalized group theyre not a part of, especially if theyre not a part of any of them. but they can still go online and say "fuck celebrity x" and get lauded as the pinnacle of allyship. they can make short, snappy, performative displays of their helpfulness without putting in any of the work to actually help. they have the privilege to do so. i as a white person have the privilege to do so, even if i try not to.

im so scared to go out into the world after i graduate and face all these inequalities, to try and deal with the horrors that high school and the internet have only been a small taste of. the most i can do is learn as much as i can before then, but i lose the motivation to every day when theres so little i can do to help; when the people who can help choose to do nothing anyway.

and this post, the closest thing my hungover ass can get to an in-depth analysis, likely wont get any attention at all. its not short, its not snappy, its not entertaining. its just a teenage nonbinary lesbian ranting about existential dread for way longer than he probably should have. and no, this isnt me begging for a reblog otherwise youre a bad person. saying stuff like that doesnt help anyway, since people would just snuff it out of spite instead of looking at the overall message. its just the way things are, not just here but everywhere.

im just so scared, and tired, and sad, and angry, all the fucking time.

[redrabbitspod]

happiness?

first, i wanted to start by thanking dan for allowing me to post this. for a while, i wondered if i even should. but, a lot of you have been asking about me, my upbringing, and who the fuck i am. i think this is, in part, due to my team interview and rumor. i have to admit, not all of the rumors are wrong, but i wanted to come completely clean and after a long time of thinking and a big change in my life, i decided why the fuck not?  maybe, i told myself, it would help some of you. i hope it does. 

but, it is personal and it does mean a lot to me. if i’m being honest, it also makes me feel a bit vulnerable. however, after taking quite a few L’s for rrp, dan agreed, so here we are. 

where are we? here. the fuck does that mean? i don’t exactly know, but i’m going to fuckin wing it.

so, here goes. let’s start from the top. (art by me)*

QUICK OOC! THIS IS A CHAPTER! CLICK HERE TO READ ABOUT SETH’S TIME IN MIAMI AND MORE OF WHAT HE TALKS ABOUT UNDER THE CUT 

*BloodyDamnit: it’s my art. but we like to think Seth is an artist :)

vvvvvvvvvvv

my name is seth gordon, i’m 31 years old and 1 of 7 sons. i’m smack in the middle and i severely suffered from middle child syndrome.

31 years ago, i was born in rural alabama to a white, military father and a black, hard-as-rocks mother. i had your typical, strict military upbringing. my dad was hard on us from the jump and refused to acknowledge the fact that at the time, he had 4 black sons (to have 3 more). i still don’t think he realizes that to this day, he raised 7 black men to hate themselves, but that’s not what this post is really about. i can write an entire critical essay on how much my fathers obliviousness to race and racism ruined my and my brothers psyches, but anyway. 

growing up in the deep south, meant we encountered racism every single day. a lot of it was severe and ultimately, barely acknowledged. to my dad, we were white (which was odd in itself because he was ostracized by everyone around him for marrying my mom) - to my mom, we were hers, but undeniably black. to her family, we were mixed. it was confusing in the household, to say the least. 

while we were accosted at school, bullied, and harassed, my dad had the usual macho-man response of ‘punch ‘em back’ and ‘none of my sons will get beat by some scrawny kids’. if you didn’t punch back, then you were a pussy. 

i, was a pussy. (for many things, but we’ll get there)

my mom, on the other hand, tried her best - bless her fuckin heart. when he wasn’t home, she’d do her best to remind us what we looked like, what we were, and that people wont ever treat us right. she wasn’t wrong, not there, not in that town. 

what was ironic about it all, was while she was trying to get us to understand that being black wasn’t wrong, that it was something to be aware of, yes, but also to be proud - being ‘queer’ was out of the question. 

to start, i was a sensitive kid. that alone was enough to have my older brothers mock me, call me names. when i cried, it got worse. i vividly remember my dad gripping my arm, shaking me, and getting in my face to ‘stop crying like a girl’. i was called queer, i was called fag, i was ostracised by my family - all for crying, all for being ‘sensitive’. i was 6? 7? i was young. a child. 

i learned early. 

as i got older, all the homophobia i’d encountered from my family assuming, made me hate myself for more than just being black, but being whatever i was, too. as i started realizing that boys looked just as good as girls, i became the worst version of myself possible and when my parents divorced, it only festered. 

middle child, remember that? when my dad left, my mom was the only income. she had 7 kids, 7 boys to take care of. my youngest brother was a toddler, my oldest a junior in high school. the older kids were tasked with taking care of the youngest and while my older brothers were working, succeeding in school, making sure the youngest succeeded too, i was left somewhere in between. i was a menace. i created problems in every single fuckin way i could. i wanted attention, i wanted love, i wanted someone to take care of me, too. but i was in middle school and deemed able to take care of myself, so i did. 

i continued to, even as my older brothers went off to college and pursued careers, and i was the last to take care of the kids. i put my mom through the ringer and i had no real prospects. i was getting into fights, smoking weed every day, getting involved with girls, partying, drinking. my second oldest brother pulled me over at the beginning of my senior year and told me that i needed to get out.

he thought it would help - to be away from family, away from my dad, away from the toxicity i’d grown to only know. for a long time, i thought he was stupid. so stupid to think that someone like me, someone with my temperament, my habits, my ability to seek out trouble in every fuckin way i could, should be trusted on my own at college. 

turns out, it was the best advice he could’ve ever given me. 

because i was accepted to psu on a hope and a fuckin prayer. 

i get more into my time at psu here*. it details my drug abuse, my addictions, my severe homophobia, and my path to accepting myself as a bi man. i don’t really feel comfortable explaining that all here, on this public page. but if you would like to read more, you can click the link.* 

anyway, all of that was thanks to wymack and surprisingly, minyard as well. they helped me realize that i could get better, i could be better, that i could overcome the thick fog id lost myself in. 

which brings me to here, today. 

the title of this post is happiness? i asked myself wtf happiness was for the majority of my life. after my undergrad, i questioned if i was happy, every single day. i still do, sometimes. 

you all know me as happy-go-lucky seth; the memester; the goofy guy that is in all actuality, older than the majority of tfn, but treated like the younger brother. maybe, some of you see me as immature. maybe, you think im lying about my age, or that i really am just a happy fuckin guy. 

i am happy, most of the time; so long as im distracted, working, partying, playing music, or helping my friends. but thats really all it is. i need to be busy, in order to forget how unhappy i find myself, sometimes. 

that is, until now. 

relationships are weird - hard to explain. but for me, finding someone i found complete comfort in became important, it became a blessing and i’m not even slightly religious. but that’s what this feels like. 

as many of you know, i’m in a relationship now and maybe im just honeymooning, but by fuck im happy. i havent been able to find solace in quiet for over a decade, full self-acceptance in a lifetime, until i truly met him.

none of you have to know his name, or who he is. but it was in meeting him, someone so like myself with similar struggles and experiences, that i was able to realize that i can love myself. that i have the ability to be proud of who i fucking am, and that i can drop the fucking facade of happiness and actually be happy. 

maybe it’s sappy. 

sounds like it. 

feels like it. 

it is. 

but it was in meeting him, that i learned to have real pride, with no lingering hate dancing around the back of my mind. it was in meeting him, that i learned to accept all aspects of myself and make sure everyone felt just as good as i do.

people like me have the ability to grow. they have the ability to overcome and learn from past mistakes. i was a horrible fucking person for the majority of my life. most of the people i knew wouldn’t even recognize who i am now. doesnt matter that i was a kid, or in college and overcoming grief and ingrained self-hate. i grew, i overcame. i found people that care about me, accept me for the man i am today.

i wish i met them sooner. i wish i’d listened to them sooner. maybe i could've avoided hurting people i hadn’t meant to hurt. 

maybe i could’ve avoided hurting myself, for this long. 

but im finally here and that feels good to say. i found happiness. 

im happy. 

- seth

ooc: * = links to the chapter, where seth goes more into detail with his college experiences, addiction, and past relationships. 

[candyclan]

Coming out letter to my mom. (FTM) At the start of my transition, I wanted to go by a name that started with an “A”because my birthname did. All the rest of it is basically the same.

THE TRUTH:

I didn’t scream “I am a boy” at my parents. Honestly, my mother (specifically) controlled a lot of what I did, who I hung out with, and what I wore as a child. I believe she has/had an idea about what she wanted out of a daughter since I was born, and really just lived through me. I think she eventually had to give me room to make my own decisions, later in life. I didn’t come out until I was 16, although I had spent 6 months prior to even coming out thinking about my gender identity. I was extremely sheltered. I want you guys to know that I didn’t know what being transgender was until I was a freshman in high school and met my best friend (who is STILL MY BEST FRIEND TODAY) who identified as Non-binary gender fluid. I had never really met someone AFAB that lived to be anything other than female. With that came the knowledge that sometimes, men don’t necessarily have to have penises and I can wear whatever I’m comfortable with. I used to be religious in middle school (raised Christian) but I never found god. It never made sense to me how so many people can put their faith in other people’s ideas of what god is (the Bible) but not listen when their real CHILD comes to them and tells them that they feel uncomfortable in their gender identity. I also came out as bisexual in middle school, after meeting a girl I had a fancy for. To which my mother sobbed and cried and asked how she had failed as a parent. I remember loving pink, it was my favorite color. Pink, purple, blue. My top 3. Now it’s blue, pink, purple but basically the same. I had a pink room, loved hello kitty, let my mom curl my hair with little curlers at night so I could wake up and be somebody different the next day. My brother played with carebears and my Barbie dolls more than I did as a child. I remember a toy gun and handcuffs. I was fairly experimental as a child, I did: Girl Scouts, swimming, piano, soccer, ballet, cheerleading, and more honestly. I always got “boy” toys at McDonald’s (I mean cmon they’re cooler) I just was kinda everywhere. I feel like that’s easier for someone AFAB to be. My brother was harassed by my family for liking girly things but I was never shown that I couldn’t like stereotypical “boy things” by extended family. My mother however in the line at McDonalds I could never forget, turned and looked at me (baseball cap backwards tank top and shorts)and said “So, what?” “Are you batting for the other team” implying that because of the clothes I liked to wear I would be a lesbian. My mother (like I said, kinda controlling and extremely narcissistic) when I was allowed to cut my hair super short for the first time I was 16. Afterwards she has said things like: “but you’re so pretty how could you have cut your hair” “you looked so nice with long hair” I never felt akin to femininity. I was actually VERY uncomfortable with it. I hated being the “weaker” gender. I never wanted my nails painted. It was torture. I acted like makeup and and nail polish was torture, the hairbrush was my enemy. I used to just put my hair up in a low ponytail every day as I got older. I knew she’d never let me cut it all off. Basically, other than wanting to grow up strong and tough and not liking to be treated like a female, I was female. There were parts of being female I didn’t really have a problem with, and honestly that’s why I didn’t come out for so long. I wasn’t in a house or raised by people I knew would accept anything other than me being their “little girl” I was a daddies girl. So between my lack of understanding of where my feelings towards my gender roles were coming from, being encouraged by my family to be girly, not being exposed to gender diversity (or anything queer), and my controlling mother, I remained in the dark about who I was.

TRIGGER WARNING:::(abuse)::::: I was never close with my mother, and actually hated her growing up. To this day she is the most judge mental, self-centered woman I know. My father was funny, charismatic, and lost his shit sometimes. I like to say, 90% of the time he was amazing. We made jokes and could literally finish each other’s sentences. But honestly my father, 10% of the time was abusive. Most of my abuse in my life was covert (narcissistic abuse from my mother) and verbal/emotional/barely physical abuse from my father. He’s 6”3’ 350 lbs and very loud and scary, especially to a young child. He punched a hole in my wall, he threw a remote at a wall and shattered it to pieces, he threatened to kill my dog with a baseball bat in front of me. Which I swear to god he would have done if I wasn’t holding my dog, protecting him. These moments were few and far between, but they were riddled with insults and almost always left me with less than I started with. My father did spank my brother and I, and one time he clapped my brother so well that he left a purple hand mark on his butt. My mother told my father she’d take us away if that happened again. My father never left marks. He never had to, he was so big and would just get up in my face and scream at me. He made me feel helpless. Because he was invading my space I felt physically threatened, and he never actually had to touch me and leave bruises because that threat was already implied by invading my space. I was so young, but I always knew my family wasn’t right. Finally at 16, I stood up to my father for the first time. I didn’t care if he was bigger than me, I didn’t care if I would lose, I was willing to fight for me. Anyway, long story short the police were called because we were screaming at each other in front of his apartment building. I’m not going to say I didn’t fuck up as a teenager, but I never deserved the pressure and the abuse he was dishing out and had dished out my whole life. I knew that. I cut him out of my life just after turning 16, by then I had been questioning my identity. It became easier after leaving my father to fall into who I was. My father is FAIRLY religious and my mother claims to be but she never talks about god, she never prays, and now that my father and her are divorced I don’t think she’s been inside a church since. Losing my father was a lot, despite his abuse he and I were really close and had really similar personalities. The reality of abuse isn’t “well, now I see them as an abuser so now none of that good stuff is left it’s all tainted” I had to struggle with losing someone very important in my life at a young age, for myself.

Arguments against me being trans:

My family has been a bit divided in responding to me coming out. By now, it’s been about 4 years.

My mother and her side of the family are in denial. They don’t understand how I can’t be a “lesbian that just likes boy things”. They don’t use my name or pronouns.

My father, what little communication I have with him now, is bewildered. He and I had a discussion this past Christmas where I brought up what his abuse did to me mentally and he apologized but then tried to say “well what about your part in all of this” and said that I was hanging out with crazy depressed people, cutting myself, doing drugs, (I was smoking weed and I’ve tried acid like once piss off) and was sneaking out. Yeah. I did do all of that BUT GUESS WHAT. IM 20. I go where I wanna go. I fuck who I wanna fuck. I smoke what I want and guess what? It’s not any different from when I was 16 except now I don’t have parents up my ass telling me what to do. His argument basically was that I need to own up to what I did too and that fucking angered me. You don’t apologize and then go “well what about you” that’s not an apology. That’s deflection and honestly I don’t think I need to apologize because my parents were super controlling. I was just trying to do what I wanted and they didn’t like it. He and I have talked about me being trans and he pretty much thinks I’m certifiable. Doesn’t use my name or pronouns.

My brother: Ethan, my brother and I have always been close. He’s 17 now, and he had a different reaction to me being trans. Of all of my family he was the most receptive to my pleas of gender dysphoria and he suffers with anxiety so he gets stuff. But alas, after asking him if he’d call me by my name and pronouns (after 4 years of being out) he thinks that I am the one that has an issue with society. I told him I was starting T soon and he said: “Hrt won’t lessen all the things that come with being transgender. If you feel like doing hormones is the best for you then do it, but from a logical standpoint I think there just needs to be more thickening of skin” he claimes that if I try hard enough I could be fine living as female. Doesn’t use my name or pronouns.

None of my family supports me. None of my family understands. And none of them ever will. I have been out for four fucking years. I can’t tell you how frustrating family rejection can be. I have cried so much at the idea of not having a supportive family. I feel like I was ripped away from a beautiful life somewhere and thrust into this mess.

Honestly though, it doesn’t matter, the world keeps spinning and I keep finding people who love and accept me for who I truly am. I have made peace with my family’s lack of acceptance. It’s made me stronger and more compassionate towards others. Made me want to be better than them. I am actually going to start hormones soon, and on top of other fears I have, will be cutting my family out of my life. I can’t be 25 with a full beard and getting misgendered by my family. I can’t do it. They may feel like I’m going too far, that I don’t have to do this, but I do. I’m not doing this because I didn’t get too much attention as a kid or my mom favored my brother over me, I’m not doing this because it’s cool, I’m not doing this because I’m bored, I’m not doing this because I hate myself or anyone else. This is AFFIRMATION. Sometimes, cutting people who can’t see you for who your really are out of your life is affirming too.

Guys, girls, people, keep your head up. Things get better, I know. I thought life was never going to get better so I know that’s what it can feel like. But it does. Never ever let someone control your life or who you are. You’re beautiful/handsome/amazing! You deserve to be comfortable in your own skin and to love who you are. I am getting there, we all are.

Love,

Tanner M.

[abstracttheworld]

they dont use tumblr really so i should be okay to vent here.

im really not okay. for the first time in YEARS and technically EVER i met someone and felt legit real like. THINGS. Good things, the goddamn best things. I was happy, like stupidly giddy excitably heart a flutter happy.

and obviously by this dramatic preface-it all came crashing down.

i kind of knew? that something was wrong. they seemed distant, didnt respond the same way that they used to before we met. something felt wrong and i just tried to ignore it. chock it up to insecurity and anxiety. turns out my anxiety was right. they didn’t feel the same way.

i don’t blame them like at all? I’m not angry. I’m just heartbroken. It felt way too soon to have the tip of the word love on my tongue but thar she blew, and i kept batting it away because it was too much too soon. i guess it doesnt matter now.

i chose a really bad night to not take my meds.

tldr: they said they just dont feel the romantic spark like they thought they would. That they aren’t as pan as they thought and seem to just not like women like they expected to. their first answer was that they just needed time to adjust to seeing 3 people (theyre poly) and feel out our relationship. im not saying they were lying, they clearly werent expecting this reaction either. but even then my insides tried to press that something was wrong.

now i wish i had trusted them, called it off again before we even started. before i even entertained more.

my headhurts and my eyes sting from crying and textures feel wrong probably because im not okay.

i still want to make jokes? at least this saves me the trouble of having to admit to mom that im probably poly to her and explain my other main love interest. tho this still means i have to tell her at some point that things didnt work out. all i can think to do is just preface it with that she is to not make a single damn call about like “its because theyre poly or because theyre they or because theyre queer” i just dont wanna fucking hear it. i just want to be upset and have someone comfort me.

yknow what fucking sucks the most right now tho??? is that the comfort i want most right now is theirs. its not like my little fanasy distractions were ever considered bad exactly, but i did kinda wonder if maybe they were more fueled by romantic loneliness than i wanted to admit. now i just. idk. i feel numb. romantically at least. which isnt good!! i still have this wonderful girl thats been so patiently listening to me while i gush about them because i was in the fresh throws of seeing someone in person and FEELING something.

i was so scared i would get there and feel nothing and just do another “yolo” like i did before, end up unhappy while i tried to convince myself itd just take time for romantic jives to get going in me. turns out the turns were tabled!!!

i cant tell if my want to bury this shit under jokes is helpful or hurtful to myself. if i just laugh it off and try to pretend i was never invested, not even for a second.

at least i dont have to budget another visit! At least if depo turns out to be not great for my body i can just get off it! at least now i can play with those condoms i bought and not worry! lauigh and look on the bright side, its a good thing right?

i know i need to get rid of their pictures. i already got rid of the digital ones- ill ask them to delete mine later. along with asking if i should just mail the booty toys to their partner, since i wont be needing them. i guess this saves me the trouble of finding out if im still grossed out by anal? sidetracked- i took polaroids of them. of us? and the idea of throwing them away is KILLING me. i still fucking love them. there!! i said it!! im p sure i was at least on my way to loving them or being in love or w/e and now i gotta let go and it fucking SUCKS!!! i cant even be angry because!! i fucking love them!!! and i hate it!! i want to crawl back inside my nice safe little corner of “i dont need anyone” but i know its not true and i know it felt so good to just. HAVE someone, for sure. “for sure”.

anyway the point was that i need to get rid of their photos, because all its going to do is make me miss them- miss what i thought we were. but im fucking dying about it. but i cant let go and get over it if i dont, i know. ill just end up looking at them again or finding them later and getting heartbroken all over again.

romance is such a goddamn risk i fucking HATE IT but when its good it FEELS SO GOOD. i guess thats that whole “better to have loved and lost thatn never to have loved at all” thing huh??

i just. i dont know. love fucking hurts.

[coughsyrupcowboy]

Ok let me just explain something. Nobody is upset that Adam is dead and that someones ship didnt become canon. You guys are really simplifying it and not listening to the actual complaints and have your rose tinted glasses on. Yes this is a story of war, people die, ect ect. But that's not the issue, it's much deeper and more insulting than a character dying.

So a few months ago, the voltron crew were like hyping up so much for the new season and its representation. They said shire was gay and had an defiance that we'd meet. And u know if a content creator says shit like they usually explore it.

Cut to when the new season is released. Adam and Shiro have one(1) conversation and they're having an argument. Here's where that is a bad idea from a writing standing point: this has no emotional effect on anyone. Like, first of all it's not even subtexted. They're stiff and mad and just look like roommates. We never see adam before this scene. We have no idea what their relationship was like before. And the general message there, accidental or not, is that gay people cant be happy with their partner. They always butt heads. But I guess they cant give off that message because they're too fucking cowardly to make them even touch each other or look at each other, let alone explicitly state they're gay.

I'm not sayi g u cant be gay without a partner. God, that is not what anyone is saying. I'm saying they're doing shiro dirty and never fucking stated that ANYONE IS QUEER. (This includes pidge, because her gender arc thing was a huge ass cop out. They could have explored maybe a trans man pidge, a trans girl pidge, nonbinary pidge or genderfluid pidge. But no they pulled a classic shes the man and made her a trans coded cis girl.)

The fans arent mad at adam dying. Look if adam had more lines, an actual relationship with shiro on screen, and his death served for some sort of plot or character development, I can guarantee u no one would be as absolutely livid as we are now. He gets two scenes and hes a bitch in the first and dies in the next. The shiro doesnt even liek bat an eye. He monotony says adam at his grave thingy and is on his way like he didnt just lose the man he was gonna marry.

Yes people die in a war. Yes things dont always work out for everyone. People die, people drift apart, some people arent good for each other blah blah blah. But here's the thing, the crew that worked on this show are basically the all seeing gods of this universe ok. They have the power to pick a character off and give that characters death meaning. But here they didnt choose a character to die. They MADE a character only for him to die and they decided the character that was born to die has to be a gay man. They had two gay men and they thought the best course of action after hyping the shit out of their show and clearly pandering to the lgbt youths desperately starving for any kind of positive representation.

Then only to get a slap in the face after getting THAT NONSENSE. yes people die in a war, but they had the power to pick and choose who dies in said war.

If you're cis het, I doubt this hurts as much as it does to the lgbt fans. When I was growing up, lesbian was a bad word. I thought if you said lesbian you would go to hell. On TV everyone was straight and normal, but the gays got made fun off all the time. They were the butt of jokes, used to make a point on how weird and disgusting they are. Very rarely were there gay movies or gay characters in a movie that didnt end up dying from aids, being killed for being gay, separating from their lover cuz being gay "sucks", or realizing they were gay only for it to be a phase. And as a child this sends me the message that if you are gay, you are disgusting and will never be happy. Straight people love getting off on gay misery and thinking that counts as representation. They get brownie points for killing off their gay characters.

But you know what these movies surprisingly do better than voltron did. They actually give their gay characters fucking personality and lines. Sometimes if a Straight is feeling first theylly actually use the word gay! But what voltron did was absolutely unacceptable. I'm not defending the fucking homophobic movies. I'm sayi g the bar is so so so so low that its hitting the ground and DreamWorks thought "hey if I take this jackhammer and make the worst fucking rep that anyone has seen in a while, fhats still representation and the gays will love it!"

I'm not even a goddamn fan of the show and I'm upset. My boyfriend had me marathon with him and we were both so ficking pissed.

AND ANOTHER THING!!! some of yall dont know what queerbating actually is??? Yall seem to think queer baiting is teasing your ship and not instantly becoming canon??? No it's the advertisement team looking at the scraps that lgbt get in regards to media and shoving a huuuuuuge Turkey leg in their face and then proceeding to throw it in the trash. What I mean by this is that when an advertisement team and production team realizes that a lot of queer teens are their main audience, they'll try to like "introduce" gay shit. Sometimes you get sexy lesbians only there for men to leer at. Sometimes it's two very visibly gay coded men who are bffs and then the writers give both girlfriends. And sometimes its telling fans that u have representation only to take it away immediately.

No one's upset about one person dying. No one's upset about a gay person dying. No one's upset that their ship isnt canon. No one's upset that this isnt a show for romance. No one's upset that we didnt "get the queer content we wanted."

We're upset that we didnt get ANY queer representation. We are livid that we only know shiro is gay from word of god and that people who dont have that context wont know that they were a gay couple. I'm mad that they took the only other gay man in the whole entire series, refused to even say anything obviously gay and or romantic and then killed off adam and called that diversity.

The crew seems to think gay people are just bitter or have no personality outside being gay. Once you show me a stable,happy, more than two lines obviously and proudly queer character then I'll shut up.(again if u mention pidge, fuck off)

And to the people sayi g were acting like shiro died, well here's the thing they've killed this motherfucker like 4 times and if that doesnt speak volumes of how much they enjoy making Gay characters suffer idk how to help you. ALSO DONT ACT LIKE SHIRO IS EXPLICITLY GAY BECAUSE HE IS NOT EVEN SUBTEXT GAY OR QUEERCODED SO SHUT UP AMD LISTEN TO THE LGBT PEOPLE WHEN THEYRE MAD.

[safetycloset]

i want to be a less bitter person

people have wronged me so many people and i resent them so fucking much and i wont forgive them because i dont think they will ever deserve it. however lately i find myself getting upset thinking about all of it and im kind of over it

so how do i stop being so angry? first i will vent and then i will try to work through it.

i recently blocked c and im so mad it took me so long. he outed me in high school he is super gossipy + has no idea how to mind his business and is the dullest most negative person i have ever met

L is pissing me off she is always angry about something she can be rude to me and even when she isnt being rude i dont think she is very interestint

M is fucking awful im so fucking mad that i let ANYONE treat me that bad ever ever ever i hope she feels really really really guilty she has such a disgusting soul i am so sad that i let her treat me poorly for so long

A was TERRIBLE but im so proud of how i handled him. he said "i know youre a huge lesbian but i love you" and when i told him he needs to give me space he threatened to kill himself, and he then never backed off so i blocked him and i know he struggled a lot after that but i dont give a fuck

Je never respected my boundaries and she thought everything was her business and also her cishet ass tried to tell me that cis is a bad word and that the word queer is ridiculous (not even the slur argument she just was whining about how it was a stupid word) and she guilted me about cutting myself like it was about HER and we werent even close

Ju only talks to me when he's suicidal and it makes me so angry and he doesnt listen to my advice he is so stuck in his mindset there is nothing i can do and i don't even WANT to because we arent even friends at this point im just his suicide hotline (his suicide hotline that muted his contact and doesnt respond anymore)

M2 hit on me a LOT when i was a minor and they were 21 so what the fuck red flag, they were really toxic and sort of stole bits of myself from me like making my trauma their own and also was super condescending to me about how they thought i was immature compared to them but theyre the 21 year old hitting on a 17 year old so what's really up? fucker fuck off younfucking idiot FUCK YOU

M3 made me so angry she was awful to work with she's the one i get worked up about lately because she was the most recent FUCK her i didnt get paid nearly enough to be in the same room as her im so sick of her she is why i quit

honestly even people who i dont hate are bothering me. IB and i are drifting apart and i think we have been for a while, he's very toxic positivity and i just know the connection we once had is gone and now he just comes off as like. he's talking to me like im a child and it drives me crazy i hate it so much. B recently like texted me after like eight months of not having spoken and is jumping back into "i love you" and pretending he knows me i cant stand it. im probably forgetting someone but it's fine

ok this part i will try to figure out how to move on. y, you are hurting yourself right now. you dont have to forgive anyone and you can and should set boundaries and cut ties, but once you do then it's over and you dont have to worry. if you block someone, they wont be out of your life until you let go of the anger and sorrow. once you let go, your mind and heart will have room for something better! and your experience has given you the knowledge and tools to make things better in the future. and you also have good relationships now!! appreciate those because you know that they are hard to come by. everyday you have the chance to make life better for yourself and you make progress again and again. i love you, you can do this.