#she does this when there's a lot of change and stress going on and we've just moved and also we're attempting peace negotiations between he

[ourceliumnetwork]

y'know. i don't often hate the way my brain is and how difficult it makes certain things for me.

i do a little today though.

[smutgirlie17]

Diamonds and Desire | H.S

summary: when harry starts to see his best friend in a different light, his whole night changes

word count: 1.7k+

warnings: 18+ mdni, p in v, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!), fingering, dirty talk, baseballplayer!harry

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I feel the burn in my muscles as this game comes to an end. Since I play pitcher, it takes a toll on my shoulder that I hurt a few weeks back. Luckily, I've been seeing someone about it so hopefully I can play in finals this year.

I hear the whistle telling me the game is over. We won 16-4.

Picking me up tonight is one of my close friends, Emilia Gomez. She's my doctor's daughter, I see her all the time in the office, I'm there quite a bit so we've gotten really close.

I see her car as I walk over to the parking lot, the trunk opens, telling me she saw me.

I reach down to put my stuff into the trunk, being careful not to hit my head as I stand up.

As I look up, I see her already looking at me through the rear-view mirror. I held my eyes with hers and for the first time, it felt different. I have never felt this way when she's looked at me before, like I'm all warm inside.

I blame it on my tiredness, brush it off and go to get in the car.

As I'm getting in, Emilia starts to ask, “So, how was it? Did you win?”

“Yeah 16-4” I tell her. Trying not to make eye contact.

“Way to go Harry! As long as you didnt hurt your shoulder, I'm sure my mom would be proud too.”

I laugh. “Thanks, Em.” I say, still not looking up.

“Hey, what's up?” She says putting her hand on my shoulder

“Oh sorry. Nothing. I think I'm just really stressed because finals are coming up.”

She undoes her seatbelt and shifts closer to me, keeping her one hand on my shoulder.

Her long brown hair is tied up in a messy ponytail and her sweats hide everything she has worked so hard to get. A shame. Even like this, she's still so beautiful.

God, Harry. Stop.

“C’mon Harry, I think you need to take a break” She starts moving her hand over my chest, making my breath pick up.

“Em, c’mon let's go home” I say, not wanting to give in.

“No, Harry. I think you need a break. A real good one. Let me help you”

A smile creeps its way to my lips.

“What are you thinking, pretty?”

She blushes at the nickname. Cute.

She continues her hand over my chest and slowly gets closer to my dick, which is half hard already with how close she's gotten to me in the past 5 minutes.

My breath hitches in my throat at her next words.

“Let me fuck you, Harry. We both know you've wanted this since the first day you saw me sitting in that office chair.”

Her hand slips lower and she starts palming me through my uniform. These pants doing a shit job and concealing my hard on.

“Fuck, Em” Her hand feels so good moving over me.

I know we shouldn't be doing this, her mom would kill me, but God does it feel good.

“What do you say, Harry?” She says, squeezing me tighter. “Want to fuck me, yeah?”

“God, Emilia. Yes, Please. Please let me fuck you.”

And with that, she gets out of her seat and straddles my lap. She places her cunt directly over my now fully erect cock.

“Needy, hmm?” She says as she starts to grind back and forth on my lap.

“Jus’ been a while, Em. Don't get too cocky.” I say with a smirk.

I jerk my hips upward and I hit directly against her clit, making her let out a gasp.

“Harry,” She moans.

She starts to grind harder and faster now.

“You're all mine now, Pretty.”

I start kissing her neck, earning a groan out of her.

This is so errotic, I have never seen her like this. She has always been Em, the girl who I met through her mom. Now, she's hungrily grinding against my dick, moaning my name. This is the hottest thing I've ever experienced.

She reaches for my belt buckle, pawing to get my bottoms off. Then she reaches to take my shirt off.

Now I am left in only my boxers.

I reach down for her pants, pulling them off. She takes her shirt off while I do this, leaving her solely in her bra and underwear on top of me.

“So beautiful,” I say, never expecting to see her like this.

Her face tints red at my words.

I go to feel her, my fingers brushing against the fabric of her thong.

“So wet for me, yeah? You want my cock, baby?”

Her head falls backwards on her shoulders as she says; “Yes please, Harry. Please fuck me. Take it out on me.”

My lips surge towards hers, my fingers moving her panties aside, toying with her clit, making her falter and lean into my shoulder.

We both moan into the kiss, her hands coming back to palm me and my fingers moving faster over her clit.

My fingers dip lower and slowly into her. When my fingers reach their limit, I start to move them in a “come hither” motion, making Emilia feral. Moaning my name.

“Fuck, Harry. God,” She says breathlessly.

I move my fingers faster as she starts to pick up the pace of her hand. Her dripping cunt making a mess of my baseball pants. I dont mind though, shes so fucking hot.

“Fuck, Harry. I’m so close,”

The corner of my mouth lifts up,

“Gonna soak my hands, darling?” I say as I speed up the motion of my fingers.

She bends down to start kissing my neck, earning a deep groan from me. My cock is so hard, it hurts. I’m determined to get her to her first high of the night.

I feel her start to clench hard around my fingers, letting me know she’s almost there.

I add my thumb to circle around her clit, making her bite down hard on my neck making me moan. Her hand is still going on my cock.

The pressure in my lower back increases the faster she moves. I’m running out of time.

I move my fingers as fast as I can inside of her with my thumb vigorously moving over her clit. I finally feel her clench really hard around my fingers, letting go.

“Fuck- Harry- Shit,” She says, muffled by her head in my neck.

I slow down, but don’t stop as she comes back down from her high.

I lean in to kiss her, sitting her back down on my lap.

I’m so eager to be inside her, I can feel her arousal dripping onto my dick. Fuck.

“Do I need a condom?” Asking her. Selfishly hoping I don’t. I’m aching to feel her, all of her.

“No, I’m clean and on birth control,”

I sigh subtly in relief. Longing to be inside her already.

I line up my cock with her cunt and I slowly begin to push in.

Emilia moans at this, being super sensitive from her previous orgasm.

As I push all the way in, we both let out a moan. This feeling being so good for the both of us.

“Fuck, Harry. You’re so big,” Em moans into my neck.

“Don’t have to tell me twice,” I say with a laugh.

“Now who’s the cocky one,” Emilia rolls her eyes.

I begin to thrust up into her, catching her off guard. My lips connect to hers and we both moan into the kiss.

She holds my hips down and starts to move over me, switching between grinding and bouncing, making my head spin.

This feels way too good for someone who’s not a virgin. Fuck.

I got to unclip her bra, revealing her tits to me. I reach and hand up to play with them.

I enclose my lips over her right nipple, earning a moan out of her.

She rips me from her chest, encasing her lips with mine. Biting my bottom lip. She starts to pick up the pace with her hips.

“Fuck, Em. You feel so fucking good,”

The ache in my spine is getting more intense, I have to speed this up. I have to cum and I have to do it fast or I’m going to lose my mind.

I can tell Emilia is getting tired, her movements have slowed down.

I help her out by grabbing her thighs and moving her back and forth on top of me.

I reach up and shove two fingers into her mouth.

She mumbles my name through my fingers, sucking harshly on them.

Emilia continues to grind down onto me, I’m getting closer and closer to my release.

I take my fingers out of her mouth and reach down to her clit and start rubbing vigorous circles onto her.

I can feel her start to clench around me,telling me she's getting closer.

I lift her hips to hover over me and start to pound up into her, in hopes of getting her to finish before me.

She pulls harshly at my hair, making me moan. I am getting so close it hurts.

As I near my end, Emilia starts clenching and her legs start to shake.

“Harry, Harry, Harry,”

“Let it all out, Pretty. I got you,”

She finally finishes around my cock with one last hard thrust.

I'm so close at this point, I start to speed up. Emilia starts to talk me closer and closer over the edge.

“C’mon baby, let go of me,”

And with that, I let go. Spilling deep inside her, burying myself as deep as possible.

“Damn, I think you should be stressed out more often,”

I laugh at this. Slowly pulling out of her. My actions make her wince at the sensitivity.

I shoot her a “I'm sorry” glance as she goes back to sit in the driver's seat.

She drives me home, and we talk just like normal.

That was the best night of my whole life.

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a/n: hi guys! i hope you enjoyed it! let me know how it went, it was my first time writing something like this and i'd love feedback!

[the-froschamethyst4]

Husband Of The Year

𖤐Pairing: Retired! Soap x Wife! Reader

𖤐Pronouns: She/Her

𖤐Warnings: Smut, fluff, language, Scottish slang, teasing, P in V, fingering, feminism, breadwinner Y/n, male wife Soap, kissing/making out, groping, nipple play, male masturbation,

𖤐Summary: Soap had retired from the Military a few years ago, and when he got married to his wife he started to become the best husband of their lives.

————

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4:00PM

Y/n was coming home and her husband Soap had just made dinner for the both of them. He poured out some red wine for Y/n and poured some whiskey in a glass for him. He saw headlights pull into his driveway knowing it was his wife.

He goes to the front door, opening it and then seeing Y/n get out of her car and sees her husband.

"John."

"Hi, mo luaidh (my darling)." Soap says, placing his hand on her waist. "Come on," he says guiding her into the house.

Once the door was opened and Soap moves down and removes Y/n's heels from her feet. His hands were gentle on her ankles and his fingers gently caressed her calves up to her thighs.

"What did you do?" She asked.

"Nothing...am I not allowed to cook for my wife?"

"You are allowed to," she smiles at him.

"I always cook for you, mo luaidh (my darling)." He kisses her knee and then stood back up.

"What did you fix?"

"Your favorite," he says, guiding her to the dinning room and showing her the meal he made for her. "Red wine too," he says.

"Thank you, John, I'm gonna change and come back down," she says. Soap nods and sits at the end of the table.

Y/n soon came downstairs in a light purple silk nightgown that stopped at her mid thigh, Soap's eyes widened as Y/n's hair was a bit messy as well, doing it on purpose teasing Soap.

He smirks leaning back in his chair, he stood up pulling her chair out for her to sit, she does and he pushed her closer to the table.

"You look gorgeous, mo luaidh (my darling)." He leans down and kissed her temple.

"Thank you," she smiles at him as Soap went to his chair.

"How was work?" He started to make small talk with his wife.

"A mess," she says.

"How so?"

"We have an employee that calls in almost everyday, her excuse is pulling the 'I'm sick' card when she isn't sick, it's because she doesn't want to work and it's very obvious, she has come to me many times complaining about work, and then saying she'll call in because 'she's stressed out'...stressed out about what? Watching videos on your phone? She doesn't work!" Y/n was an exclusive director for the company she works at.

If she could she would fire this woman, but it's not her call. It was obvious that the woman gets under Y/n's skin a lot. Even the General Manager has an issue with this woman and they've both talked to her and the CEO about her.

Soap usually hears a lot about this woman and how she is basically a problem for the company. All that woman has to do is order products make sure they come in on time and calls people to let them know their products come in, but she never does it half of the time and sales people have to do her job for her, which pisses them off.

"I bet, what number is this?"

"23 and counting," Y/n says annoyed by this woman. Y/n eats her dinner as Soap just listens her her rant and enjoy her company.

"You're lucky you don't have to deal with someone like her," Y/n says.

"Well, I dealt with people like that in the Military."

"Really, how come you never told me?"

"Just never brought it up," he chuckles. "But I can tell you about the one who was released early from duty."

"Tell me!" She says, leaning on her hand to listen to her husband talk.

Soap tells her about a new recruit coming to the Military and two days in was released from duty because of bad conduct making him go to court because of his stunt.

"Yeah, you never told me that," she giggles.

"Again, we've never talked about it," he says. "Not only that it was a while ago, when I went to Russia for a week, I kind of forgot about it till now," he says as he moves his fork to his mouth.

"I see."

"Anything else going on?" He asked her.

"We...fired a girl," Y/n says.

"Fired someone?! What happened?"

"Remember that one girl I talked about when I caught her in the bathroom with a male employee?"

"Oh yeah!"

"Well, she was caught in the male bathroom...masturbating and we called a meeting with her, with all managers and directors and...the CEO decided to fire her."

"H-How the hell did she get into the males bathroom without getting caught going in?"

"I'm not sure, the person who caught her doing it was the director of Marketing, she left the door unlocked and was caught."

"Holy shit-did you bring up the time you caught her?"

"I did in the meeting after we fired her, we discussed the times we caught her and how we hid it till we called a meeting with her," Y/n says.

"Your company is a shit show."

"Oh I know, we try our best to control it, and it seems like a shit show when the CEO leaves for anything, and his assistant tries to control everything when he's gone," she pokes at her food.

"Anyways enough work talk. You done, mo luaidh (my darling)?"

"Yes," she says as Soap stood up taking his and hers plate to the sink. She stood up and walked to her husband. Her arms go around his waist.

"Mo luaidh?"

"I'll be upstairs," she says, walking away and Soap watches her walk away.

-----------

Soap turns off the lights downstairs and walk upstairs through the hallway and at the end of the hall was his shared bedroom with the light on. He pushes the door open seeing his wife still in her silk nightgown, she was on her stomach reading one of her books, she looks over her shoulder and smiles at her husband before putting a bookmark in her book.

She rolls over and look at her husband placing her book on her nightstand.

"Come here," she says with her arms open and Soap crawls on top of her. She kissed the top of his head and he kisses her neck. "John?"

He starts to move down kissing her neck, chest, between her breasts, and then her stomach. His hands groped at her breasts, his hands move under her nightgown and his fingers played with her hard nipple.

She lets out a soft moan as he was gentle with her. Ever since Soap's retirement, he treats Y/n like she is the last thing on Earth, their sex was amazing because of Soap and how he would make her feel, and how he started to figure out what she liked during sex.

They tried new things they've never tried before, or they would do things they both knew they got off.

Soap then moves down pulling at her panties, pulling them down and off her ankles, he tosses them somewhere in the bedroom. He then starts licking his lips and then starts licking between her wet folds.

He kisses between her folds. He spits on her clit and rubs a few minutes earning moans from Y/n, her hand holds his wrist as he then shoves his middle and ring finger inside of her.

Her back arches with the pleasure overwhelming her. Soap smirks at her and then starts licking and sucking on her clit. His tongue flicked against her bud a few times, moans filled the room, he used his free hand and pulled his dick out.

He pumps himself a few times. He loves her moans, her back arching because of the pleasure. She used her hand to help him. He moans letting her do all the work.

He kept licking her and kissing her slit. Her hands pumping him quickly and teasingly slowly down. She'll pick up the pace just to hear him moan and the vibrations from his mouth against her clit made her feel good.

He then moves his mouth and fingers and she whines when he moves away. Her hand wasn't touching him anymore. He pulls his boxers off and then starts aligning himself up at her entrance.

She smiles placing her hands on his neck bring him close to her, lips touching as he first starts out slow and easy, them both rocking back and forth against each other.

Their make out session was soft and easy, but back rough with her biting at his bottom lip as he pulls away and groans when feeling her teeth pull at his lip.

His thrusts were rough and sloppy. The same with his kisses, they were sloppy and messy. Y/n's moans filled the room and skin slapping as well.

Soap kissed her neck, jawline and the back to her lips. Y/n's nails then dug into his muscular back. He groans when feeling the sudden pain digging into his back, but he ignored it, he was on a mission to make his wife feel good.

He looks down at her, her face all red and his ears were filled with moans. Y/n then dragged her fingers from his back to his shoulders and then down to his buff chest.

Y/n felt herself close to coming. She let's out another moan and then tightened around Soap's cock, he moans feeling her tighten around him.

"Come on, mo luaidh (my darling), cum for me," he groans as she did what he asked, she ended coming on his dick, he pulls out and watches as cum leak from her clit slowly.

He bends down and starts licking her clean. Her hands held the end of her silk nightgown lifting it up as Soap was cleaning her up.

The retired Sargent, sits up on his knees smiling down at his wife and picked her up taking her to the bathroom.

He places her on the sink and starts a bath. Making sure it was hot and then placed some bubbles in the bath, Y/n removes her silk nightgown placing it on the floor and Soap picks her up and placing her gently in the bath.

"I'll be right back," he says, kissing her lips and heading out of the bathroom, she could see him snatch a clean pair of boxers and hurried to put them on.

She messes with the bubbles in the tub and cupped them in her hands and placed it back on the bubbles. Soap comes back with two glasses and the red wine he poured before.

He gives her one and then held the other, he leans on the side of the tub to watch his wife, his head resting on his arm, she talks to him and he listens.

"Do you want wash you?" He asked.

"Yes," she says as he grabs a loofa and puts her body wash on it. He starts to gently rub it on her arms, shoulders, she gently stood up. He then washed her stomach, back, between her legs, thighs and butt.

----------

30 Minutes Later

Y/n was on the bed with Soap holding her against his chest as she reads her book and Soap was watching TV on a low volume so Y/n could read her book.

She flips the pages with one hand and then other played with his arm hair as his left hand rested on her thigh and the other resting against her stomach and that hands rested close to her butt and he gently tapped her side to a random beat.

She closes her book, placing it on her nightstand and then looking at the TV to see what Soap was watching. Soap has been on a kick on watching old documentary's about old military planes, and wars that had happened in the past.

"What's this one about?" Y/n asked.

"Old planes and Vets stories about war," he says.

"Oh," was all she said as she cuddled up to Soap closing her eyes and falling asleep.

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Next Morning (6:00AM)

Y/n had woken up to her alarm, groaning as she turns it off, she rolls over to face Soap, he was big spooning her, his eyes closed and he looks peacefully sleeping.

Y/n kissed Soap's lips and got out of his buff arms, she gets up like normal, brushing her hair, and starting her shower getting in and washing her body and hair.

As the water run, Soap wakes up and hears the water, he rolls over seeing the bathroom light on and the door cracked trying not to shine the light on him as he slept.

He stretched up and got out of bed. Heading downstairs to then make tea for Y/n and himself some as well, Soap doesn't drink tea as much as Y/n, she only drinks it to be calm before she works.

Y/n walks downstairs seeing her husband making the hot tea, she was in a towel around her body and another holding up her hair. Soap smiles seeing her.

"How was your shower?" He asked.

"Fine," she yawns as she was handed her mug taking a small sip. Soap walks behind her placing his hand on her hip kissing her temple as she sipped from her mug again.

"Go get dressed and I'll make you some breakfast," he says as she walks upstairs getting dressed and taking her damp hair out of the towel.

Soap had made her some waffles and she ate before going back upstairs to do her hair, make up and grabbing her purse and heels.

"Okay, I'll see you later, John."

"I'll see you, later mo luaidh (my darling)." He kissed her lips and he watched her leave for her work.

[an-angel-in-the-garden]

Romantic Inuyasha x Fem!Reader where Inuyasha and reader are stuck in a room together and Inuyasha gets more and more nervous as time goes by (He can’t get out because he’s it’s a new moon). Reader plays with his hair to calm him down which catches him off guard because nobody’s ever done that before. Surprise surprise, he likes it a LOT.

Wow, I haven't gotten an Inuyasha request in a while. This is very pre relationship leaning. So more like him just realizing that he likes the reader and how it makes him feel, hope that's alright. I also added some headcanons. I felt like my writing was a tad lacking and wanted to add just a little more to the end to fill it out.

" Argh! Come on already!!" The yelling only echoes within the dimly lit room. After the third attempt you'd think he'd give up, but Inuyasha was always too stubborn for that. It's hard to say just how much time has passed but it couldn't have been that long since no one has shown up to save you. " I think that's enough. At this rate you're just going to get hurt!" There's an annoyed huff as Inuyasha practically throws himself on the floor. " At most we've been here an hour, the others will find us soon enough so just be a little more patient maybe?" 

" An hour is way too long. Anything could happen! Plus, you really think those idiots will find us by morning." Inuyasha snots. 

" Well if they don't that's fine. By morning you'll be able to get us out without hurting yourself." The young woman smiles. " Really, it's fine Yasha. This isn't the worst thing we've dealt with." Although she may be taking the situation in stride, Inuyasha found himself only growing more anxious. Though it's true that this isn't the worst they've been through, he couldn't stand being so powerless and made more human than ever by the new moon he felt so... unsure about what to do next. A few beats of silence followed before he stood to try again, it's not as if anyone would stop him. oh, how wrong he was, so very wrong a mere five minutes after he'd started banding on the door and searching the room he found himself rudely dragged back to the bed in the corner and forced to sit down

" HEY!" 

" Don't yell. I'm just trying to calm you down. We are going to be fine; I promise." Before Inuyasha can argue he feels a hand press softly on his head. Then another and soon those two soft hands are running through his hair and scratching his scalp. For a moment he tenses, it's been so long since anyone has treated him so softly. The moment his brain catches up with what's happening Inuyasha knows it's too late. His face grows warm and red, his mouth hurts from the smile on his face and his heart is beating a mile a minute. Yet he doesn't want it to stop. For the first time since ending up in this room Inuyasha feels safe and okay. With your hands gently soothing him and your voice putting him at ease he knows it's alright, so long as he has you everything will be okay.

it's not something he ever gave much thought to but one moment becomes his lifeline 

He doesn't fall fast or hard. It's just a slow and gradual build that comes crashing down when he finally notices it 

That warmth and comfort around you has been there for so he never thought to question why it was there he just accepted it

Now he can see that it likely meant something more even then its just something he can't ignore anyone 

But he also struggles to just trust that feeling or the idea that you won't turn your back on him 

He's content to just stay in this room, with you comforting him and relaxing together 

Ignoring the stress of the world and the mission you all have to finish 

Maybe this won't change anything, maybe it'll change everything he's not really sure right now, but he does know that this feels right 

So, for however long this is going to last, he'll just enjoy and the rest can be dealt with later

I really hope you enjoyed this! Thank you for requesting it's always nice to try out new styles or characters I have yet to write for. Shout out to my dear friend Birdie who helped me out when I got stuck on this! We love Birdie. Have a good day or night, Lilly~ Also I noticed I never added this to my posts but if you see any spelling errors feel free to let me know.

[devastatinglygreen]

Why do you think they're waiting for the Lady Whistledown reveal?

aside from drama? and i mean that seriously. i know everyone had headcanons and wants for years here but they're building tension. there was no real tension in part one outside of sexual and the stakes need to be higher for the penultimate episode.

the next bit is spoilers we know have been pretty much seen by too many people for ep 5 at least so wander under the cut at your own risk:

i think, and i know a lot of people aren't going to be thrilled about colin not knowing before some things happen, that they need to do two things: solidify their relationship a bit and basically send penelope into a spiral to take the stakes higher.

they have plot armor, they're not going to behead penelope right there in the queen's garden with the peacocks once she gets caught. the only thing truly up for grabs is polin. and not even that, not really, but it's the thing the audience is going to care about.

the spoilers have penelope trying to tell him but failing because she keeps getting interrupted. every time she fails, the clock ticks further. it's a pressure build. eloise is on her back. colin is just wandering along, deliriously happy and penelope knows she's carrying this bomb she's gonna blow up in his face.

she lost eloise to it. colin is the love of her life. i think we can all do that math. she's so stressed out by eloise's timeline she can barely breathe and then comes cressida.

you've got cressida taking credit for LW, colin's happiness sitting on her shoulders (tho i do think it's also so smart of them to have him defend penelope to portia before he finds out, it might give him some insight to how penelope is treated and feels when the right time comes), eloise is assuming things and giving her hell.

i mean, wouldn't you be a mess too? like, give the girl some grace her entire life is imploding right after getting what she's always wanted and never thought she'd get and losing the two most important people in the world to her only a few months before. would you want to blow that up again? yes, yes, i'm sure everyone who says "but she has to!" is very morally outraged and perfectly righteous in their own lives scoffs at the idea that penelope might struggle with a secret she doesn't know what to do with.

it's not like we've never seen how that eats her up before, right? oh. we totally have. nvm.

anyways. cressida. i kind of hope it's the turning point for peneloise because i think even eloise knows she's not a good person to have in a position of power like that. say what you want but penelope doesn't lie in LW.

add in they seem to be bringing in book scenes and i'm going to guess colin catches her after she takes off to print something saying cressida is a whole ass lie. fight ensues. angst! stakes are ridiculously high. the wedding is planned. the pedestals are knocked over and now colin will know everything. does he love her after that? can he? does he trust her ever again? (clearly yes or they're gonna need to change up that family tree thing they released lol).

this will give way to colin having to come to terms with penelope's legacy and how it affects his own estimation of himself and his writing. jealousy like the book. it's a colin issue and he knows it but he still has to deal with it.

colin very much thinks penelope is his purpose, right? the book says it. LN said it about show colin. he's gotta reconcile that LW and penelope are two halves of the same person. he can't put them both in boxes.

anyways what i mean is that the stakes need to be high and her blurting it out then having 2.5 episodes of them moping around about their LW fight isn't really the thing that gets your heart racing when you've got 8 episodes to tell the whole story.

(also as an aside, i think it's going to lead to us getting second "firsts" in a way. it's not going to be a first kiss or anything but i feel like the energy of it all will be different and i, personally, think that could be very fun)

[aebeism]

it's time to go — bada lee

synopsis : stress takes over your brain, to the point where you wander through a world you can’t remember much about. while your memories are gone, bada, love and sadness are the only things you carry with you for a while — as well as your limitations in having and offering each.

wc : 2.1k

warnings : angst, ex!bada, reader suffers from temporary memory loss, homophobia, clichés, mention of reader as y/n, lowercase intended. inspired by paris, texas by lana del rey.

'how long would it take for you to forget me?' you would ask. 'a lifetime wouldn't be enough' bada would always say, without fail. it's been months since you last saw your ex. or smiled. and you're back in the country, nervous to see her again, when she insists on taking you for a walk, which seems to be going smoothly . . until she gets weirded out by all your questions and the fact you seem genuinely lost at everything.

but, even though you're not together anymore, she cares a lot for you, enough that she doesn't mind retelling bibles and bibles of the endless moments you spent together. that is, until your eyes light up at the map you come across on her phone case.

"we've been to france before, haven't we?" your voice echoes through the place you're in, the moonlight shining through bada's blonde strands as she seems to glow softly, as a whole.

she only seems to be able to whisper, as if that’d keep her feelings suppressed well enough. "we have. paris, with barely anything but a suitcase" she slightly smiles at the memory. "i'd take you there again, if i could."

silence floods the air around you.

"why can't you?" you stare at her face, intensely, waiting for her answer as you clench your hand into a fist.

"you know why" she says, and your heart aches at the familiarity of her look. "because i loved you, so i can't anymore. and you remember i hardly ever change my mind, don't you?"

“i do” you nod, even more confused, eyes stuck on the map that she had let you take from her hand. the tiny map tucked inside her phone case is covered in doodles — lines and hearts mark so many places. "why does spain have a heart?"

"that's where we performed together for the first time" she sounds happy until you question further.

"you still love me, right?" your voice is soft, you don't raise your tone, nor did you try to force the sentence into her head. yet, bada seems like she was struck by a thunder right next to her ears.

it's no surprise that bada was caught off guard, her head tilted from an angle that would make her eyes stare at yours directly. "why ask that?" she says, her voice a bit shaky.

"hm . . you said that in the past. and you still keep this thing, with hearts on both countries."

"ah. yeah" bada shifts her attention back to the paper, her eyes slowly direct themselves to your shaky hands and your shivering body, and it makes her question why you're shaking so much even though what surrounds you is a warm summer breeze. she gives you a look, her eyes taking a peek at your face as she slowly says the next sentence. "for the memories. i don’t know about now. people never really understood our love, y/n. all of my friends could show off their lovers, and some were more loved by people than others, but you always had to be my secret just because we're both women. . and i hated that."

you don't seem to recall that, you can't seem to remember what she's talking about. yet, for some reason, as painful as a heart-wrenching breakup could be . . it still burns all over your chest; the pain seems to spin, and twist your insides, in flames. perhaps, the pain was made from acid and was turned into acid as it burns your whole body. your eyes water for a second, and you frown. your expression shows that you're a bit too lost by your own emotions.

"the more they knew, the worse it got. we've been over this, y/n, don't cry" bada's words seems to pierce your heart, they make your stomach churn as you stare intensely down to the ground beneath you.

the new sentence only adds to your confusion, and although you understand every single word, you don't even know why you're here anymore, or why it hurts so much, why a woman so pretty remains by your side. it feels like your brain is trying to reconnect to reality in the middle of the night but can't catch up on anything.

“this isn’t funny” you mumble, your hands shaking, and your jaw closes up as you furrows your brows. your brain tries to work to its max as you try as hard as you can to figure out what's going on.

"it really isn’t. i proposed to you here, in venice, not long after you joined our team. and we broke up in california, remember?" she shows you the circle around italy and a small dot in the united states. "it was sweet while it lasted, though, wasn't it? our friends would get drunk on any shit they could get their hands on and pass out, and you'd just be talking and dancing with me. my memories of you are really pure, y/n."

her tone is warm, her words are just as lovely, her eyes still sparkle whenever they glance at you. but there's something so heavy behind all of that, that knowing her, you can feel it even though you can't tell what it is.

"but it really was time to let you go" bada says, a deep sigh leaves her mouth as she shifts her gaze up to look at the sky, and you think you can see the corner of her eyes starting to turn red as her eyes sparkle so brightly.

while your mind remains empty, malfunctioning even, you stare and stare as it starts to get a bit too hazy. bada's mind, in another case . . is running through all the flashbacks of the flight you two took together back home, the time when you had to leave as you two were breaking up, the many times she agonized as she wanted to call you but knew she shouldn't, she let herself sink into her own loneliness . . everything burns behind her eyes. and staring at the pain she possessed hurts you just as badly.

if you could remember all the good things she did to you right now, at this moment, you think you wouldn't be able to live with yourself anymore.

. . but, in reality, you really can't live with yourself. because you do remember.

that's why life's been so stressful. that's why suddenly your memory has a gap.

"i hope you can forgive me for that" bada says, her tone ever so softly as she still looks up at the sky. her face lights up a smile, so, so bitterly.

your brain unwires slowly as she speaks and you're met again with that look on her face, one that could make your heart ache and your stomach churn from the pain it feels. bada's watered eyes make your cheeks wet unintentionally as you dodn't realize how a cheeky tear softly rolls down the surface of your skin.

"and i'd rather you didn't ask me about love anymore, if you could" bada speaks up again. this time, she turns her head to look into your eyes, and you feel like she's begging you with how intense her gaze is.

"but our love is so sweet, why wouldn't i?" you say, your hand raises up to wipe the tears that are waiting to sneakily roll down your cheeks once again before you clench your hands into a fist, as an attempt to hold your tears back. "people don't understand it, but does that really even matter if we understand each other?" your voice is yet again so soft, unlike how determined bada sounds like when she asks you to stop asking about your relationship. you don't know why you clenched your hands, or why you cried, you don't even know why you asked bada that question, but you eagerly wait for her answer, like a puppy waiting for a treat.

the bitterness in bada's stomach feels like it's climbing up her throat and staying stuck in the middle of its way, her eyes are burning as they bore into yours, and perhaps the pain she's feeling has taken its toll on you as you can feel your heart drop for a split second. you never really want to know why you're feeling her pain, you just always do.

. . but you're content with feeling that pain, because that's the closest you can get to her heart now.

"didn't you just hear me?" bada says, her voice cracking as her eyes water once again. it's as if she's taking all her will power to hold back the tears in her eyes. it's as if she could breakdown at any moment if she let her guard down.

yet, it seems like everything suddenly goes away; you can't recall why bada is crying, and a confuse look displays on your face.

"not sure i did" you blink, your head tilted as you see the map in your hands once again, a glimpse of a memory brings you back as you quickly say . .

"oh, that's cute. we've been to france before, haven't we?"

“i just told you, y/n” bada's voice is shaking as she stares at you, her brows furrow as she starts to think that this is some kind of joke; a sick joke that you thought of to make her feel embarrassed, to remind her of how sweet you two were, and how she can never achieve what she had always wanted with you.

bada stares intensely into your eyes, she tries to get pass your facade. she wants to rip off that mask, that unfunny joke that you're trying to make. she wants to scream to your face that this isn't funny. yet ,your innocent look and your sweet smile catch her off-guard as you still wait for her answer. you even have a confuse look on your face, as if you don't understand a single word she's saying.

. . as if . . she's the mad one.

"you really don't . . know?" bada asks, worried. "do you even remember what we are?"

you nod, a weak smile on your lips as you sound way happier than you should, even though tears stream down your face just because they're streaming down on bada's face. "girlfriends."

even when bada's panicking slightly, her pretty presence still glows, and it's distracting enough. she rushes to get you in her car and you don't understand a thing, yet you let her do whatever she wants. and that's how your first hanging out in months ends.

while you're in the passenger seat, your eyes scan her whole being. and your chest does flips as you stare at her form.

"why are you so worried?" you ask. "where are we going?"

"we need to get you checked out, y/n."

you go quiet for a moment, not enjoying the concerned look on bada's face, not enjoying something despite not being able to tell what it is. you feel uncomfortable, your head's light as a feather, and the pain is spreading and slowly taking over your whole body on its own will. "ah, maybe. maybe . . everything feels . . fuzzy" you mumble. her hands grip the steering wheel harder as she speeds up. "don't worry, though. it's fine. i'm fine" you reassure bada, a weak smile shows up on your face as you hold your head.

that reminds her of how she died a little inside every time you'd say that, whenever she'd see your suffering. it doesn't help how you'd say that so many times whenever you'd both be upset about how others seemed to hate seeing you together, and the way you're saying it now only reminds her once again that her heart still aches for your words.

it reminds her that she can't put you through anything as heartbreaking again, it doesn't matter if she still cares enough to keep you alive in her memory.

letting you go was the right thing to do, and when she's right, she's right. even when she's wrong.

and she feels at home when she's alone, anyway.

© aebeism 2024

[vanillesuiker]

(Finally) introducing my OC, Ursula Malfoy!

(Art by @bastaardsuiker as usual, it's so good ugh it's literally her.)

Ursula Alioth Malfoy is the second child¹ and only daughter of Narcissa and Lucius Malfoy. She is ambitious and a total perfectionist and comes across as rather arrogant (because she kinda is). A model student, Prefect and eventually Headgirl, who is very confident in her studies and will always do more than assigned. Because of this, Ursula and Percy were each others #1 enemy since the first day (pff try hards). After actual years of constantly mocking and insulting each other, they do start getting along (don't ask me how, I haven't written that part yet) and eventually develope feelings for each other. They start dating near the end of their sixth year, but they keep this very secret of course, because their families do not like each other. But after graduating Hogwarts, Ursula ends up running away from her family, which gets her disowned. After a few weeks at one of her best friends place, Percy ends up introducing her to his parents and she stays there for a while. And they're very happy and in love and even end up engaged.

(And then the war happens but that's too much to explain right now)

To almost everyone at Hogwarts, Ursula seems too perfect. She works hard to keep up her reputation as a perfect student, being raised under the constant pressure of "don't end up like your brother" does that to a girl. Behind the perfect appearance, she's rather damaged and in times of high stress she can seem a bit unstable.

There's so much more to her and her family relationships and her relationship with Percy but ugh it's too much to explain right now (I have a doc in my Google drive that is just multiple attempts at writing this intro). So have some random facts!!

She was born on November 12th 1976, making her a Scorpio!

Her name, Ursula, is based on the star sign Ursa Major, or the Great Bear. Ursa Major is located right next to the constellation Draco, so it seemed fitting.

Her middle name, Alioth, is the name of the brightest star in Ursa Major.

Major Ursula is also what Fred and George called her when she became a Prefect and would catch them in their mischief.

She has a raven! I think it's boring that Hogwarts students can only have owls, because there's so many more interesting birds (oh how I love little Kestrels). And I think a raven is much more fitting for her than an owl. The raven is called Orion, and she got him as a gift from her parents after her first year. He's been her companion for years and considering he's a raven living in captivity (magical captivity even), he'll be with her many more years.

For a while, Orion does not trust Percy, and pecks at him like he's attacking Ursula if they even hold hands.

Her personality has changed a lot since I first thought of her. Originally, she was waaaay more sad and depressing, but now she just internalised that.

She was also going to have an Augerey at first, but that was too complicated to think about.

Alright that's all for now, I've been contemplating making this post for so long because I feel like OCs can come across as sooo cringe. But then I realised that I really don't care how cringe she it.

Ursula (and literally any other character I mention in any post that might make you go "...huh?") is a part of the universe @bastaardsuiker and I created and called the Suikerverse. And in the Suikerverse, canon is whatever we want it to be. There are many OCs, there is a lot of OC x Canon, so many changes to canon, links back to Hogwarts Legacy era OCs, you name it. So if something doesn't make sense, it's probably just a thing we've made up or changed.

*In the Suikerverse, Draco is not an only child, but has two older siblings; Ursula and Altair (an OC of @bastaardsuiker ). In this universe the Weasleys are also just simply not related to the Black family.

[katetorias]

Hi :D

Sorry for the anon ask, I'm too shy to ask on your Instagram story whenever you do a qna. I've been wondering what it feels like to be (part of) a system. I can't quite imagine what that must be like and I'm just super curious about it

One of my most burning questions has been: how does it feel to just come into existence as a new alter? You said that Prom is still a fairly new addition and I honestly can't imagine what that must feel like and how someone wouldn't know they were a system after that.

Also how does it feel to be an alter that isn't the host? Does it feel shitty to not be out as much and to be considered "somebody's alter" instead of their own person?

Feel free to ignore this if you're uncomfortable with it. Also love your art of you and your fiancé, so cute!!

since systems are formed due to the unique trauma the specific system went through, we can only really talk on our experiences. since people react to trauma differently, systems (an extreme trauma response), all form differently and have different ways they fit into the diagnostic criteria for these disorders.

im going to answer your question in a long format below^^

• for context: we are bodily 22, and we've been receiving psych care since we were around 11/12. our therapeutic progress has always been stagnant because after we left the situation we were in, we had almost completely blocked out everything that happened. so we had nothing to tell our therapists and we didn't feel comfortable talking with them. we were often dissociated and would just answer questions shortly while staring at the ground instead of engaging.

because of our lack of progress/seeming lack of effort, our mom stopped taking us to therapy and psychiatrist appointments. she thought it was a waste of time and probably saw our mental illness as misbehaving/not caring enough to try to be happy. this kept us from having proper psych care for years. we would occasionally get called to the counselor's office in school and at some point we had to start missing school for therapy again. college had us losing that support and flunking out because of the dissociation/suicidality. we only finally got access to meds after i had to go outpatient, and we've been with our therapist since.

• how we didn’t notice: due to this we had no knowledge that our experiences weren't normal. our mental health has been neglected for years and we had no way of knowing what was happening with us because we had no basis as to understand. we have a gap in our memory from a little after we left our situation to early high school. our friend always says we knew each other in middle school and talked, but we don't remember enough of those years. amnesia can show up in a lot of different ways. we've only experienced two noticeable black outs, the rest is gradual. not remembering things soon after they happened, being told we said things we didn't remember saying, being unable to describe important events in our lives, vaguely knowing what happened but not remembering the experience.

• on forming: When I (Prompto) formed, we had just flunked out of college and were forced to start working. Me and my fiancé were just starting our relationship and were playing my source. My source was a fat child who experienced bullying and parental neglect, being left alone and friendless for years, feeling like he has to change his weight to be liked. We really couldn't handle having a job. we were clinging and desperately coping by consuming my source. Eventually I started feeling like I was confusing things that happened in game with things that happened to me, and my real life memories from years, or even just months before didn't feel familiar. This was frightening, I would cry to Noctis about how I was feeling, how I couldn't remember anything before our road trip (event in source). But we didn't have any resources to explain, I thought I was being weird and childish.

Because of the stress of this job we had, I would spend most of our time in a heightened state, anxious or dreading the next days. Jack (who formed in our childhood to take care of us and our little brother when we’d be left alone) started resurfacing again after being gone for years. Our brain was trying to protect us, but I didn’t understand why I suddenly felt different. Sometimes it felt like I would just leave. I started being told that I was saying things I didn’t agree with again. Jack felt miserable trying to force himself to be me. This conflict and pain was the reason we ended up outpatient, and a few months after came to terms with the fact that we were a system.

• on what it’s like to not be the host: for us we don’t really refer to ourselves as “someone’s” alters since we don’t really have a collective identity (discounting the body we act like). I’ve been making an effort to accommodate everyone, and make sure we get the time we want in the body or just have things that are our own. (Making space for their things/interests. Setting times for specific people to have a chance to front)

This is Nathan’s perspective since he’s been fronting more often lately:

- I actually used to hate being an alter. i felt frustrated that I got torn away from my shitty life to just be part of someone else’s. I didn’t want to exist in the system at all. our body isn’t mine. im skinny and im covered in healing SH scars, and im not hairy and i have short hair, im cis. i used to hate fronting. I would actively wish i could just disappear. it didn’t seem like me being around was helping anyone. dissociation sucked and I would pick fights with our fiancé. im pretty much the only one of us who gets full flashbacks, and i fucking hate looking at stuff for my source online because everyone hates me. or ignores the story to justify hating me instead of just. hating me for what’s actually in source.

we talked with our therapist and eventually i started coming to therapy and she treated me like my own person. she made sure to create a distinction between my feelings about something and Prompto’s. she told me to create a thing i could do instead of be angry which is why i would usually front. Prompto put a lot of effort into making me feel comfortable. it’s like pri could tell how sensitive I actually am. pri designated a corner of our apartment to me and got me decorations pri thought i would like. i got to make my own instagram. It felt good to be myself. when i wasnt forcing myself to be prompto i felt more content. the more i could express myself as a person the easier it was to communicate with the system, i struggled less with memory and i think were less dissociated now than ever because prompto made such an effort to acknoledge us as our own selves.

sorry for the long answer but you asked so not sorry I guess lol. prompto probably had a better closing statement but I don’t really give a fuck. thx for the question

[nrc-asteryn-crew]

A notification flashes across phone screens everywhere throughout NRC. The radio podcast, NRTea has gone live once more!

"Hello, hello, dearest listeners! And welcome to another episode of NRTea, the hottest tea party on sages island! I'm your host, Chamomile-"

"and I am Earl Grey"

"And oh boy do we have a story for you today! Take it away, Earl!"

"...alright.

As of late, there have been brambles spiralling up and encasing parts of the Ramshackle dorm. The brambles themselves seem generally harmless, as do the roses that fall from them, but if you prick yourself on the thorns, it would be quite an unpleasant sensation, so I'd suggest exercising some extra caution when visiting for now."

"Yup, yup! If you've got a friend or two living in the dorm out there, go check on em and make sure they're doing okay!"

"I know I myself must check in on my dearest companions soon..."

"Well that's it for now! We've been your hosts, Chamomile-"

"And Earl Grey,"

"And this has been NRTea. Stay thirsty, dear listeners!"

The stream continues on for a bit before cutting off, though.

"Hey... James?"

"Yes?"

"Y'know how Yuna has been locking up lately and stuff? Says she's been super sick recently."

"Mhm... It's quite concerning, if I am being honest. I haven't seen her for a while..."

"...I wonder if Yuna is alright. I hope she doesn't get hurt with all those brambles."

"...Me too, Lewis. Me too."

(✨YUNA OVERBLOT STUFF YAHOO!!!

-✨mod, @night-raven-miscellany. Technically James and Lewis, too, but I haven't been adding them fhdjfj)

Kiyuu stared down at her phone with a frown as the podcast ended. She didn't say anything, prompting Aros to speak up from behind her.

"...Lucky you haven't been over there for a while, isn't it?"

He spoke, giving Kiyuu a faint smile, leaning in just a little closer while dabbing a makeup brush into the eyeshadow pallette in his hand, before applying it, making slightly quicker movements than previously, already being able to tell what Kiyuu was thinking.

They both knew the signs by now from even just a glance. With the context the podcast had accidentlly given... Something bad was about to happen. That much they could tell.

His expression morphed back into a frown as he watched how Kiyuu's face seemed to go through a cycle of conflicting emotions, confirming what he'd thought.

"...Yuuto's close by, though. And he definitely won't hesitate to head straight for Ramshackle once he suspects something's happening..."

There was more silence, only disturbed by the quiet sounds of rummaging through makeup and supplies from Aros. They'd been in the middle of testing out some makeup samples Aros had been sent for a promotion when they'd decided to tune into NRTea's podcast in the background.

"...Would you like me to quickly finish applying your makeup before we go?"

Aros offered, picking up an eyelash curler, and tilting Kiyuu's head up gently with his pointer finger.

"But-"

"Ah- Let me finish now. If you're worried about time, I'll change up our plan, do something quick, yet effective, instead. Don't stress out more than you need to. It won't do you any good."

"Mmh... Okay then. I'd- really like that. Thank you..."

Kiyuu conceeded softly, a silent exchange of gratitude from Kiyuu between them, Aros nodding in response, expression neutral as he continued.

"...Heh. I bet he's real excited right now. I worry a lot for him when he does this sort of thing, y'know. Just doing whatever he wants with no consideration to anyone else's feelings..."

Kiyuu mumbled, an underlying bitterness that she never quite felt wholeheartedly in her voice.

"That's just how he is. The only thing for us to do now is help them both out, hm?"

"Ah- right..! Yuna, I heard their name was, I think... I hope they're alright..."

"As do I."

Aro's commented as he stood, reaching instinctively for his hand mirror, handing it to Kiyuu as he hastily, yet still neatly, tidied up his supplies.

"Satisfactory?"

He asked, turning his head around to gauge Kiyuu's opinion.

"Yeah! More than, for sure."

Kiyuu agreed, handing back the mirror. She felt a little better now, the familiar feeling of her makeup calming her nerves ever so slightly.

After a few short moments she stood, hastily reaching to fix up her hair into a more practical fashion.

"Okay! Okay. Let's go! We shouldn't waste anymore time."

She announced, projecting bounds more confidence than she actually felt.

"Yes, let's. Perhaps we'll even arrive before anything too disastrous occurs on either party's end..."

Aros responded. Though somehow, they both doubted that much of a miricle would happen for them today...

[kangals]

now that we've officially made it past a full week (!!) with kepler, here's my thoughts for future reference. i'm trying to toe the line between making insightful observations about who he is, and also reminding myself that he's still a literal baby and everything is subject to change:

-very confident little dude, lots of Strong Opinions.

-seems more handler-oriented than stellina - sticks closer to me when outside, seems to watch me a lot

-VERY food motivated like holy shit

-very smart! already knows his name, sit, touch, shake.

-has peed more inside in the last week than stellina has ever (not a slight against him, she was just exceptionally good about it)

-so far has slept straight through the night 4/7 times, which is great

-isn't quite as good about being crated in the daytime, but he does (eventually) settle and get some naps in

he's still younger now than stellina was when she came home (10.5 weeks) so i'm interested to see if he changes much in the next week. i remember stellina's breeder recommended picking her up at 10 weeks vs 8 weeks, because per her "that's when they grow their brain." i also just don't have very clear memories of stellina at this age bc i was so tired/stressed lol. + i had boone, etc. my prediction right now is that he's going to grow up to be quite a bit sharper than stellina, but still within collie range. puppies are cute, but tbh i'm mostly excited for grown-up kep!

[nocturnalazure]

Overexplanation time!

So just like any key scene in this story of mine, I've changed the dialogues about a thousand times before posting. I might post later all the scenes I've tried with different lines, if that does not make things more confusing for you.

It was super important to me to create a growing sense of intimacy between Anh and Laurie (and I think we've got that), but also because I wanted them to bring up some difficult topics. They are both so complicated (particularly Anh...) that building trust had to be set up gradually, and even then I'm not satisfied because all of this should have more realistically taken place over a longer period of time. I had initially planned that they would stay more than a week together. But chronology has been changed in the meantime and now I have to rush and can no longer give them that time anymore. We have to move forward with the plot, and believe me, we will.

As you may have guessed, their forced proximity has a lot to do with the way the update ended. It's not only the shared space, it's also the fact that they are suddenly far away from everything and everyone, and despite the stress their situation should cause, it also feels like a true break. Neither Anh nor Laurie actually go on holiday (they're both workaholics), and this may be the closest that they've ever had. So this creates a perfect bubble in which they have the time to learn about each other and discover that they have very similar mindsets, fears and motives. Anh was obviously attracted to Laurie early on, and being with him that way is the last straw: she can't deny her feelings now, even to herself. I wanted it to be very clear that she lets go of everything that held her back before. To her, there was only that moment, right then right there. Hence the ending. I don't think she would have been satisfied with just making out or even foreplay. Anh is uncompromising, and once she has decided that something should happen, hell, it will happen.

What about Laurie's perspective? Well, he does like Anh a lot and that also has always been clear in his behavior towards her. Now that they've been so upfront with each other, he understands better why he is attracted to her. He sees a bit of himself in her and at the same time, he sees how they complement each other. Yin and yang indeed. And also part of the same whole. Then the more he realized the extent of Anh's body shaming, the more he wanted to prove his attraction to her. He would have done anything she asked for, and I really wanted their intimate scene to be even slower than what I did. But first of all, there are no right poses for what I had in mind, and second, I think it would've been too long anyway. Geez, it was already long enough! You may have noticed that Laurie's relationship with Erik was briefly brought up in Laurie and Anh's conversation. Laurie kept his focus on the technicalities of having sex with a man, but if Anh had asked for more details on his partner (which was my intent initially), he would've steered the conversation well away from the dangerous topic of how he feels exactly (because he doesn't want to even think about it). And just to be clear on Laurie's mindset: he thinks that he is not particularly lovable anyway and that everyone should probably stay away if they know what's best for them. In that moment with Anh, what mattered most to him was her feelings and how he potentially had the capacity to make her feel better about herself.

Regarding them not using protection: this may or may not be foreshadowing. Anh was a lot more caught up in the moment than Laurie, and it may seem off-character for him to decide to throw caution to the wind. However, he had no insight except what Anh had told him, and it is obviously a very private and difficult topic that he would have brought back on the table just when Anh was starting to enjoy herself. As a reminder, Anh suffers from ovarian insufficiency. She does not produce enough eggs, her periods are irregular and she's been told that the only way for her to have a child would be through IVF (you can read about her visit to the doctor here). This has affected her greatly, because she had never questioned her ability to have children before (and it's kind of important in a legacy). To someone like Anh, who insists on not appearing too feminine, this was a real blow, because it's taking away the last remnants of her femininity. Will she get pregnant now? Time will tell but if she does, it will be a miracle baby (which works well for drama in a story, I have to say). That being said, despite what stories will have you think, I'd like to point out that unprotected sex does not automatically lead to pregnancy. It's not a given.

Anyway... I don't even know what I wanted to achieve with this post!

The next update is almost done, but I'm stuck on shooting the very last scenes. It's kinda complex, with many simultaneous events and I need to orchestrate this right in order for you guys not to get too confused about what's going on. I haven't had the time to sit down and work on it properly, but I intend to do that after Christmas, once I'm truly on holidays (I still work on Monday). All I can say is that everyone is gonna get busy very fast! (what do you mean, that was already the case with Laurie and Anh?)

[balanceoflightanddark]

I would be curious to hear your full thoughts on Azula in the Spirit Temple

...oh boy...my full thoughts on Azula in the Spirit Temple...

Needless to say, there has been a LOT of discourse on the release of the Azula one-shot these past few days. I know cause...well, I made a post saying my fic was on hiatus till I got my head straight. So needless to say, I've been in the middle of it myself.

The thing about the one-shot though is that it's not just the comic itself but all the baggage and expectations that comes with something that we've been waiting 15 years for. This is the first time Azula has EVER gotten the focus for once. For many of us, this has sort of been a make-or-break situation. I'll get to why in a moment but needless to say, it's been a stressful week.

But having read the comic, I'm ready to give my opinions on it. Spoilers. Obviously.

By now you should know the synopsis: after a raid on a granary, Azula's Fire Warriors make a rescue attempt for one of their comrades, leaving Azula behind. After trying to track them down for their "betrayal", Azula stumbles across a temple deep within the wood home to a monk. Of course, not all is as it seems, as it becomes apparent that something dark resides within, pitting the Princess against her very own psyche.

As I mentioned before, this is Azula's first time in the spotlight. The whole comic is written from her point of view, and she is effectively the protagonist. Going in, I was both excited...and terrified. See, this is her first appearance since the Yang comics and...

...yeah. Needless to say, there's a LOT of bad blood for me going into this comic. So much so that I nearly lost it when I heard some of the spoilers going in.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

To begin, this comic does the most critical thing right: Azula is NOT portrayed as being an irredeemable monster. While she's still a villain and makes a lot of questionable choices (her treatment of the Fire Warriors is reminiscent of how she treated Mai and Ty Lee after all), she's also given a great deal of sympathy. Probably the most we've seen out of the franchise so far.

If Azula was some kind of monster, there's no way panels like this should even exist. What's more, I actually think it does something that I think wasn't handled well in the series and treated little!Azula as...well, a kid. Not a monster or "sick" as Zuko called her in "Zuko Alone". Just a talented kid who unfortunately caught the eye of Ozai for being good at firebending. Hell, that teaser image of her burning the turtleduck was actually a toy and not the real deal.

It's stuff like this that got me excited for the comic initially. This was what we've been waiting for years now. Writers actually acknowledging that Azula was a victim and not some monster.

...which is why I blew up when the previews turned out to be misleading.

See, Azula doesn't get her redemption here. She's offered one (we'll get to that in a minute), but she rejects it and ends the story as a bad guy. Granted there are hints that she's starting to change, but she's still going after the throne and is still opposed to Zuko. Which...kind of got me upset. Mainly cause I thought it was another bait-and-switch like with Yang hinting at Azula changing at the end of The Search, then going around with her crappy portrayal in Smoke and Shadows.

Course there's only so much you can do within a single one-shot, so admittedly...my hopes were too high. Like, there was a lot I wanted. I wanted the heroes to finally get called out on their bull crap. I wanted Azula to get a break. I wanted...I guess I wanted to feel validated that somebody was listening to us.

And granted there is a little bit here and there. The asylum is NOT looked on kindly by Azula or any of the Fire Warriors, with her even trying to reassure herself she's not being held there anymore.

She even calls out Ursa on abandoning her, saying that Ozai effectively conditioned her into being a weapon when she didn't have any choice in the matter. Hell, there's a heavy implication she's genuinely hurt by what Zuko, Mai, and Ty Lee pulled in the past (which considering what they did in the comics, is a lot) and wants some kind of apology from them.

Again, while she's not entirely a saint here, I don't think they'd have this panels if she was entirely in the wrong.

Which then we get to the redemption offer. Basically, the Spirit offers to give her a chance to change...which she rejects.

The problem is, said chance involves her apologizing to THEM first. And I don't think that's portrayed as a good thing since the hallucination of Zuko looks eerily reminiscent of Ozai and downright monstrous. As others have pointed out, it's clear that the Spirit doesn't know Azula and the "redemption" sounds more like groveling for forgiveness. So of COURSE it's not going to work for somebody like Azula since that won't solve anything for her.

So...we come to the ending.

The Spirit calls Azula a monster, says she's squandered a chance for redemption, and she looks upon the Fire Warriors having fun together and...she leaves...

...alone...

...look. I understand that @prying-pandora666 said this was essentially a reset. Getting Azula to a post-Sozin's Comet state with a fresh start. And I get that. Particularly if the animated stuff is gonna feature her.

...but she's alone...again...

I'm okay with her not getting a redemption since I don't think she was mentally ready for one. But...

sighs

Listen, remember how I said I wanted a lot from this comic? Too much in fact? Yeah. I was so focused on what I needed as opposed to what Azula needed. A fresh slate might be what she needs. And in a vacuum, I think this comic is pretty solid.

It's just everything else is where I have problems.

15 years waiting. 15 years of Bryke/Yang's comics, ableism, and lack of empathy. 15 years of stress, of being seen as an outcast by the fandom. It's...it's a lot to hold. And there's no way a single good comic is gonna be able to rebuild those burned-down bridges. I understand that there's talk of a potential follow-up and stuff for her from Avatar Studios.

It's just...you know. You're always afraid of this being the end. Which...doesn't sit well with me. I'm just afraid they're gonna use Azula as a marketing tool to sell future comics. That they're gonna drag this out. That they're gonna keep playing this centrist field instead of committing (it's fine here, and I do think Faith does lean in towards Azula being sympathetic after all), it's just...

I'm sorry. I want to love this comic and be excited for more stuff with Azula but...15 years is a long time. And it's going to take more than a single good comic to get me back on board fully.

[demon-defender]

It's really weird to think about how much Iruma changed Azz's life, and how he kind of saved him in a way??

Azz was a very talented kid growing up, so much so that other kids were intimidated by him to the point of not even approaching him. Hell, he didn't even have any adult role models, since his mother wasn't someone he looked up to and most of the other adults he interacted with worked for them. So he was essentially always "above" anyone he met for one reason or another.

Then he enters Babyls. At first, it's the same as always, he excels and impresses everyone, getting the title of top student on the entrance exam and getting to give a speech in the opening ceremony.

...Except he doesn't get to do that, actually. Turns out, the headmaster's grandson is going to give the speech (and this was seemingly decided at the last second). And what does this guy (who entered Babyls not by proving himself in the exam, but by simply being the headmaster's grandson) do? He flexes his magical abilities by saying an incredibly dangerous curse.

Who does this Iruma think he is, stealing Asmodeus's spot and having the nerve to act so proudly??? Naturally, he must challenge him to a duel to teach him a lesson and regain his status as the star student.

So they battle... Or Asmodeus does. Iruma just keeps dodging his attacks. This goes on for a while. Imagine being Azz, how insulting would it be to have a battle go on for like half an hour and not being able to land a single hit on your opponent? Even moreso since said opponent isn't attacking back?? I would've died

But anyway, it only takes Iruma one single move to knockout Asmodeus. If this had been between two normal demons, Azz would not have been able to live this down. But not only did Iruma carry him to the infirmary (which is probably a rare sign of kindness and respect for someone who won a duel in a single motion, especially in the netherworld), Azz now has someone to look up to.

After years of not even finding an equal because he's apparently so above anyone else, suddenly he has someone who's way above him. And hanging out and respecting Iruma opens the door to forming more meaningful relationships with equals. I think the best example of this is how, at first, he looks down on Clara, but spending time with her makes him realize that she's a wonderful person and he likes being with her!! He starts to talk casually with her and calling her by her first name, which means a lot from someone who values manners and formality as much as Azz.

Imagine if none of this had happened. If Asmodeus just ended up in the top class and still believed he was somehow better than everyone around him. We've seen how he started to stagnate when it comes to his rank in the original manga, so I can only picture him growing more stressed as it gets harder for him to go up the ranks and generally maintain this "young prodigy" image as he gets older. You know like gifted kid burnout but more literal because of the fire powers.

So no wonder he's obsessed, Iruma essentially gave him an ambition!

[b3achysurfur]

I know I originally said in a comment at some point about how annoying the Logan war got (think it was in that post asking why we all suddenly backed off) but now I just find your posts humoring it's like "THIS LITTLE GODDAMN PIECE OF SHIT-" and it's the most innocent picture of Logan.

Love seeing it nowadays (cuz it's funny), but you have a good point that he hasn't furthered the story yet but I feel like Red might change that soon. Hopefully. Also how we haven't had his backstory but that also might change too (we've got a hint in one episode where they fought his bullies, something about how his parents didn't want him and he fact that we've only seen his grandparents but not his actual parents says something....)

Anyways something I need to ask you! What are your opinions on the others, what you like about them or dislike, favorite moments and what not. I'm curious!

Sorry this may have been long!

SEE NOW YOU GUYS ARE GETTING MY HUMOR , THIS ACTUALLY MAKES ME SO HAPPY!!! THANK UUUUU A LOT

also UR SO GREAT FOR THE QUESTION YOU ASKED!! I love talking about everyone else

I’ll assess them in order of: ashlyn, aiden, taylor, tyler, ben (not by order of how much I like them or anything btw). Some sections are longer than others because I’m bias BUT ALSO BECAUSE I got tired of typing and realized there was wayyy tm to read. Sorry!!!! if you don’t wanna read all this I put a short summary all the way on the bottom + feel free to me ask me specific questions ! now let me talk your ear off

ASHLYN:

I really like ashlyn because she has the most potential out of everyone (and that’s not to say the other characters aren’t deep, because that’s the opposite of true but bae is the whole reason we’re here). I think she’s also really relatable in the sense that she doesn’t like interacting with people but she can easily take the leadership role when needed. like okay queen I see you. also I really enjoy the fact Red made her dislike aiden at first even though they have a side romance plot going rn. bc that’s how it would’ve been if they were real. ash would not just become chatty out of no where and fall head over heels for him. and I really appreciate the slowburn. Ashlyn’s also higher on my favorites list because I’m bias and we have the same hair length 😣 usually when characters have long hair, authors tend to let their hair flow a lot, but red put ts in braids 🙏 and ask anyone with long hair like that, their hair is up 99% of the time bc it’s annoying, hot, and (personally) GRABS ONTO EVERYTHING LIKE ITS A THIRD HAND. I have a lot of headcannons for ash just based on small character designs / aspects that not a lot of people really think about. She’s so interesting and I really just love her. And since I have positives, I’ll give one negative about her. In the beginning, Ashlyn was really hesitant to tell the group anything. I understand where she was coming from, and given Tyler’s reaction, I don’t blame her for keeping things to herself. But mannnn ts was so frustrating sometimes. it’s ok tho bc all good stories stress you out.

AIDEN:

omg guys it’s my favorite ever. I know aidens really popular already so I’ll try not to rant on about him forever but hes just the best 😣 but mans really does not gaf EVERR.

now I could rant on and on about how silly Aiden is and why he’s so misunderstood as a character, because he’s not crazy like at all and if anything he’s one of the smartest characters in sbg, but I’ll save if for a better time. Instead I wanna talk about how observant he is of Ben and ashlyn.

it’s cropping weridly, sorry. but aiden’s eyes are always watching the ones he cares about most. I feel like this has to do with the fact Ben cannot voice his concerns/opinions so aiden always has to glance at him to make sure he’s not missing any important signal. But I also think it has to do with his childhood (I don’t have fast pass or anything this is just based off of theories/analysis based on his character bc I do that a lot 🤒). Anyways, he has a specific way of comforting people that I think it’s rlly niche. He uses his hands and gets the person what he thinks they need. Like in the attached images he gets ashlyn fabric to squeeze and distracts her with light conversation, and he immediately offers to take a walk with Ben and get some fresh air. If a person refuses or asks him for space, he immediately obeys and doesn’t question their decision. He’s very trusting and understanding. He gives people room to make mistakes and gives them room to ask for help. I’m mainly bringing this up because it ties back to something I’m gonna talk about in Taylor’s section. I just think that this detail is so important to his character and we always brush over it. I don’t wanna say he doesn’t like physical touch, bc he’s always touching everything around him, but I like to think his main love language is acts of service. When you really look at it, his actions speak a lot louder than his bickering and it really helps display how much each character means to him individually. what elseee. He’s able to quickly adjust and assess situations (like when he attacked the phantom or pulled up ashlyn in the bus). He’s very quick to his feet and always needs to be interacting with something to keep his hands busy. Aiden just really don’t gaf 99% of the time (unless it’s Ben / ashlyn) and honestly that’s why I like him. He doesn’t take anything seriously or personally. clap it up for my hb. Also I notice the sbg fandom has a habit of doing it with everyone, but I feel like Aiden is always reduced to his impulsive behaviors and ‘crazy kid’ persona. please guys. look deeper into Aiden Clark. Instead of wasting your energy trying to defend a NERDY FREAK like Logan fields, you should study more on Aiden Clark and his complex character.

yes. do that. rn. You want to so badly. I know you do. Do it. Go reread sbg and focus on Aiden. wowwww. I know you want to. (I’m hypnotizing you btw) Or just ask me I can talk about Aiden (or really any character) alll day long. Ask me anything about anyone and I’ll tell you what I think with proof and evidence. yes. I just need to cut it short because I have to talk about everyone else to. But study Aiden Clark. do it. really. really. Right now. Go. Go. Now. PLUS Aiden’s probably the least likely to die because he’s to cool for that + he’s better than death and injury. YAAA!!! MAKE AIDEN CLARK UR FAV BC YOULL BE SAFE FROM ANGST 🎉

only thing I don’t like about Aiden gotta be his fashion sense sometimes (usually beginning S1). like WHAT R U WEARING MAN???? 🙁

TAYLOR:

okay now let me talk about my shnukums Taylor. I love her a lot but her and Tyler had very different childhoods regardless of the fact they were in the same situation.

We don’t know a lot about Taylor’s version of growing up, so a lot of the details are vague but everything I say is based off of observations and analyses I have personally made, so please take everything I say about Taylor’s backstory with a grain of salt and understand that no matter what, both twins were majorly affected by the passing of their father and illness of their mother.

At first i thought of Taylor was the more lucky one out of Tyler and Taylor when it came to their childhood. Yes she struggled, I knew that, but Tyler was under a lot of stress. But that’s when I realized that she suffered just as much. Although she didn’t need to sacrifice herself to help her family survive, like Tyler did, she went though the most loss. She lost her mother, father, and brother all overnight. One second they were all happy together and the next she was all alone. Physically, her mother and brother were still there, but they were both shells. Her mother isolated by grief and her brother isolated by responsibility. She was all alone. Yes Tyler did his best to support her, but at the end of the day, there wasn’t much he could do to change the situation. Taylor suffered a lot, and since people mostly focus on Tyler, we never really see Taylor’s POV of it all.

Now her backstory leads me into the fact Taylor is the most socially smart character in sbg. She is also the most observant and supportive. This is not to say others aren’t observant/supportive, like Aiden for an example, but she does it much differently. I would attach a picture here but I’m close to maxing out the photo limit and I want to save it for later.

Taylor is very good at reading the emotions of other characters. She is also very observant. Taylor is often the first to notice when a charater is uncomfortable, panicked, or harmed. For an example, she’s the first to notice Ashlyn’s fear back at the house. Unlike Aiden, Taylor is able to verbally let people know she is there for them. She comforts them through words and physical affection. Taylor is usually aware of how much support someone is in need of and the best way to display it for them specifically. For an example when Logan was getting bullied, she defended him against Tyler’s mean words and held his shoulder for reassurance. This same tactic would not work for ashlyn, and Taylor is aware of that. So, when ashlyn broke down about the struggles of being leader, Taylor comforted her through words and reassured her fears. Taylor opened up a space for ashlyn to be scared and share her burden. She was able to do all of this in only a couple of moments. This skills also becomes a werid quirk when she is able to sense Tyler’s condition in the hospital, but maybe that was just twin senses? 🤷‍♀️ idk

Taylor is also very aware of everyone around her. We know that she is very social and has a lot of friends and connections, but she also educates herself on the people she doesn’t interact with. Even if she doesn’t know a lot, she makes sure to acknowledge their presence at the very least.

What does her ability to read emotion have to do with her childhood? Well, Taylor basically lived with a shell of a family. Tyler was under constant stress, which made him prone to outbursts. Her mother was disabled by grief. Taylor was in a situation that made her feel like she had to take care of her family mentally. It was, to her, the least she could do. So, she was mentally mature from a very young age. Although having to hold the burdens of others constantly is very unhealthy, I’m not sure if she’ll crack because of it.

Taylor being very social and having a lot of friends is also another example of how she’s different from Tyler and how their shared childhood affected them differently. Tyler saw people as distractions while Taylor sees them as her means to keep living. Taylor lives off of other peoples energy, and she maintains the energy of other people by being a supportive beam for them. This is also why I’m okay with Taylor being shipped with others. She’s use to being around people and can form close bonds with others while still only viewing them as friends. Tyler cannot do the same. Taylor is in a position where she can expand her horizons into romantic relations if she was interested in doing so. That’s why I feel as though it’s okay (if that doesn’t make sense I’ll explain it again, but I tried to condense it down)

Something I don’t like about Taylor is that we haven’t gotten to see her brain in action yet. We know she’s the president of the robotics club , but we haven’t had the chance to see her charater support the story in any other way but socially and mentally. The story is only at 60 episodes though, and I’m sure we will see it eventually. Im just impatient and want to see women in STEM shine 😣😣 I wish I could talk about her more, but we barely know anything about Taylor as of right now. I will say it’s interesting how she told her and Tyler’s backstory, but only talked about how Tyler was affected and not herself. Interesting… I hope we learn more about her experiences and I hope I’m right 🙏 also CAN WE TAKE A MOMENT TO APPRECIATE HOW PRETTY SHE IS??? UGHH I LOVE HER SMM

TYLER:

I feel like Tyler has been the topic of discussion for the past couple of months because his backstory was revealed and the end of S1 / beginning of S2 was all about him and his past, so I don’t have a lot to say that I haven’t already said. but I do really like Tyler. At first when he was in his jock era I was very , oh! about him. but he’s actually warmed up to me sooooo much since then. he’s so goofy I just want more interactions between him and Aiden. I think I good place to start is how much I HATE people shipping him with other members of the main cast. I talked about it a little in Taylor’s section, but him and Taylor had very different childhoods. Again, I’m not saying their father’s death and mother’s illness was not hard on the both of them, but Tyler was under a lot of pressure too. We know he isolated himself harshly, and stopped having fun all together. The way I look at it, everything, including living day-to-day, became a chore for Tyler. Ever since he was a little kid. His dad’s death changed his entire world overnight. He had to learn how to physically and mentally support everyone important to him, because if he couldn’t no one else would. Tyler had to learn everything about living life by himself as a baby just so everyone else could survive. He stopped having fun. Little kids find fun in everything. Tyler stopped himself from finding it. He didn’t do anything for himself anymore. He was almost like a empty shell doing automatic tasks so that his sister and mother could have space to grow, heal, and live. In a sense, it was self sacrifice (which he attempts again when he tells the group to leave him behind)

So when Taylor tells us that the main cast started to become an extension of the family he sacrificed himself for, it’s so heavy on his character. Especially because for once in a long time he started relating his ‘family’ back to joy and fun, not just safety and survival. That’s why it bothers me when people ship him with others. It’s so werid to imply he’d date any of the main cast when he sees them as his family. consider them blood-siblings if you gotta, but just stop shipping them. PLEAASSSSEEEEEEEEEEE. otherwise I’ll eat your dog. thanks! also him being friends with the main cast at all is such a huge step for him. I don’t think Tyler has time to get involved with romantic relationships when he believes friends are a distraction. I know a lot of people go to romance when they want to express how strong a connection is between two characters, but you guys are forgetting that Tyler considering everyone as his friends is sooooo much more complex and deep compared to (for an example) Logan saying he considers everyone his friend. ANYWAYS ENOUGHHH!!! let’s move on.

I also wanna talk about this scene (I was to lazy to go find the original scene so the flashback is all you get). I never really realized how much ashlyn ordering Tyler around must’ve affected him. He literally spent his whole life making decisions and taking leadership and all of a sudden some random lil girl is over here telling him to stfu and sit his ass down. I would imagine as mad as he was, he probably felt a least a bit of relief. For once the responsibility wasn’t on him, at least not only on him. He could share his burden with others, and he wasn’t suffocated by being responsible for the lives of everyone else. We see this same struggle affect ashlyn, as she feels like being leader strangles her with the weight of guilt, paranoia, and responsibility. Imagine if Tyler had been the one to bare that weight after everything he’s already been through? he would’ve cracked, whether we like it or not. so let’s clap it up for ashlyn rq!!! yasss girl 😋 I know I’m rambling a lot about tyler but I know a lot about him and want to talkkk 😣 but here is my last point: Tyler’s coping mechanism to the unknown and things that confuse him is denial. Just like his mother 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯

woww! do you guys remember when Tyler thought this whole thing was a joke? me too! he would’ve never thought this silly prank would almost kill him. Tyler’s mom probably thought her husband’s illness wouldn’t kill him either. oops! 😂 (I’m going kms). sorry. my point is they both refused to believe it happened (although his mom’s denial may have been more of a trauma response while his was just to help him cope). Even with evidence, they both couldn’t understand what had happened to them and pretending nothing was wrong. Tyler saw the picture of the phantom’s shadow and brushed it off to technology he couldn’t understand yet. he felt more comfortable with not knowing how technology worked rather than not knowing if he was in danger. his mother is similar. She couldn’t understand and cope with the death of her husband, even though he died in front of her. She felt more comfortable not understanding why he was late from work than understanding he was dead and gone. Guess it runs in the family? 🤷‍♀️ and since these are all things I like about his character, I will tell you what I don’t like. THAT STUPID ASS JOCK ATTUIDE FROM S1. okay I didn’t hate it, and it fit him sometimes, and I kinda miss it sometimes, but he’s like 5’5 and a stick, he is not beating no one’s ass 😭 respectfully. now he could probably rock me but he’s matured a bit since S1 so it’s different. Tyler’s not even my favorite idk why I talked about him sm , especially when I held off on talking about Aiden because I didn’t want to say to much 🤦‍♀️ whatever

BEN:

I have a lot to say about Benny boy, especially because he is SOOOOOO mischaraterized. Now I won’t go crazy like I did for the twins because I’m thinking about making a separate post just about Ben (maybe.. maybe not idk). plus I just reminded myself anon asked me to just say a few things I like and disliked about each charater not give crazy long paragraph about them. so, sorry Ben but you will probably have the most boring paragraph of them all. I still love you a lot pookie 🙏 I’m just tired AND MAXED OUT THE AMOUNT OF PICS I CAN USE EVEN THO I NEED TO TALK ABOUT U WHILE USING PICS 🤒 anyways enough rambling.

bens charater is often reduced to his backstory which genuinely makes me want to start tweaking out. if you expand on why his trauma affects him, then I will happily listen to you talk. But when most the fandom sees Ben as “music boy who hate bully, will fight you if you be mean” it makes me so SAAAADDDDD. no, Ben will NOT beat my ass for making fun of Logan. That’s like… the whole point of his backstory? He doesn’t like violence, at all. He’s ashamed of his anger issues. He blames himself for having to move and putting his family in danger. The only reason he got involved with Logan’s fight was because the phantom interference + no one was there to help calm him down.

also he doesn’t only do music. he draws too! he’s a very artistic dude. He also gardens. Ben be planting food and shit. which (as much as I HATE the ship) Logan n Ben shippers could probably use to their advantage. Yk bc Ben gardens and Logan helps his grandparents in their greenhouse? wtv. Bens prob growing flowers for Taylor anyways. Fuck Logan. sorry.

Ben is also very compassionate and gentle. He’s always thinking about what’s best for the group, even if it puts him in an uncomfortable position, like sharing his trauma. Ben is also very soft hearted. He gets flustered very easily, we see this when ashlyn and Taylor complimented him. He is very protective over those he cares about and he does not come to play, ever. Also his character development from S1 makes me so happy. He use to be attached to Aiden’s hip 24/7 and we could often only understand his emotions when Aiden would translate him to us. But we’ve seen lately that he’s much closer to Taylor, even putting her safety before his own.

wow, gentleman alert❗️if I didn’t run out of photo space than I would’ve shown more examples where he holds onto others as a way to comfort or protect them. he’s so respectful I might cry. maybe I will make a Ben-centered post. I need to show you guys pictures so you can understand what I’m saying. But Ben is growing and he needs more attention. thank you.

SUMMARY:

Ashlyn

pros:

- has crazy potential + most hinted at lore

- very relateable

-introverted but stands on business

-W relationship development between her and the cast, very natural and not forced

- her hair

cons:

- she is very hesitant to spill info (only in earlier chaps tho!)

Aiden

pros:

- silly

- observant of those he cares about

- acts of service love language

- trusting/understanding

- quick on his feet

- good at assessing situations/making plans

- he doesn’t GAF 🦅🦅 EVAAA

cons:

- often misunderstood / mischaraterized by the fandom

- has ugly ass outfits sometimes

Taylor

pros:

- most socially smart character in sbg

- good at reading emotions

- good at comforting others

- aware of her surroundings/the people around her

- supportive

- social

- super pretty

- wrote a paragraph on why it’s ok to ship her with the rest of the cast js cuz

cons:

- we don’t see enough of her robotics president side, show me women in STEM 🤬

- we never saw how she experienced childhood (yet..)

Tyler

pros:

- deep childhood trauma/responsibility

- sacrificed himself for his family twice

- not meant to be shipped with anyone in main cast

- sees main cast as family

- he finally made friends

- talked about the scene where ash tells him to shut his bitchass up

- copes by using denial (js like his mom)

cons:

- his jock attitude during S1

Ben

pros:

- hates violence

- angery at his anger issues

- ashamed of his past

- draws and gardens as hobbies

- compassionate and gentle

- soft hearted

- easily flustered

- very protective

- slow but steady quiet charater development

- a gentleman

cons:

- you guys mischaraterize him a lot (like someone told me he doesn’t change as a character bc he never speaks, ts made me mad asf)

THATS ALL! THANK YOU FOR ASKING!! again feel free to as me questions about anything at all even if you didn’t read allat. And if you did, thank you ur so sweet and amazing. Sorry for writing sm 😢

also everyone is open to their own opinions, this is just what I think. As always, I’m always down to debate.

[bonzos-number-1-fan]

TMAGP 20 Thoughts: Imagine Joke Here

Another act over and another long few weeks to wait for more. Although I don't really have a lot to say on this one. It's very explicit and I didn't really love it. Also I'm writing this 10 mins before I get into bed so I don't really want to spend a lot of time on it.

Spoilers for episode 20 below the cut.

Everyone is finally being open about the whole obviously fucked up stuff going on. So that's nice to see. Alice being scared for her friends obviously means she's evil. Celia flat out stating the Magnus Institute is probably evil and up to world ending things so needs to be destroyed, and then swiftly brushing off any follow ups, was very fun too. It does all seem a little bit too obvious to me though and does clash somewhat with Lena's idea that the OIAR is about balance. So hopefully it's not a case of "the protags all work for a big evil thing".

I don't have much of anything to say about the incident though. I don't think it gave us much new to go on and I didn't really enjoy it. Most of that is because I think Ink5oul came off as pretty weird and stilted. However, unlike a lot of what I've been seeing said about the performance I don't think it was bad acting. I think it was pretty good acting but without the necessary context to sell that well. I'm fairly sure the reason why they come off that was is because Ink5oul is fronting to try and intimidate Gwen. There is a fairly noticeable change is how they annunciate and stress words as the "statement" goes on. They've very aggressive to start with and it starts to drop as they get more sincere, and then it comes back at the end. It's just that when you don't have that sincere baseline to reference when they're doing a fairly bad attempt at sounding harder than they are, it sort of just comes across as bad acting. Because, well, it is. It's just bad acting from the character not bad acting from the actor. Doesn't mean I thought it was all that great to listen but y'know.

As for that cliff hanger. I'm pretty sure nothing is going to come of it. I think it'll be another fun trauma for Gwen but not anything with lasting damage. The only other thing to really touch on is why Ink5oul spilled their guts like that. It could be a Fr3-d1 thing, or a .JMJ thing, or a combo thing. Or something else entirely. It's not like we've not seen compelled answers before. Hell, it was literally in the trailer for the show. It does seem sort of out of nowhere though and the least organic delivery thus far. So something's going on.

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Incident/CAT#R#DPHW Master Sheet and Terminology Sheet

DPHW Theory: 2534 seems about right. IDK, not much to say on that really.

CAT# Theory: 1 is kind of interesting but I don't know that I want to harp on that any more. I'm convinced it's not Person/Place/Object and think I've done a good job of explaining that. At least not if you take the information at face value and don't assume big portions are wrong. Things like this only further convince me but I'm not sure there is much merit is getting into those things.

R# Theory: AB isn't any crazy for this one really. Seems about on the level of the other AB.

Header talk: Transformation (tattoo) -/- Social Media (influencer). These things are such bullshit. Although there is now no denying that this is either a very modern categorisation system or one that updates. Social media has none of the wiggle room "influencer" had a few episodes back.

[steddieunderdogfics]

The Men We've Become (series) by ohstars

@oh-stars

Rating: Explicit

370,749 words, 5/? works

Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings

Tags from First Fic in Series: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Post-Stranger Things 3, Post-Battle of Starcourt (Stranger Things), Bisexual Steve Harrington, Gay Eddie Munson, Angst, Sexuality Crisis, Good Babysitter Steve Harrington, Steve Harrington-centric, Fix-It, Steve Harrington Has Bad Parents, Grief/Mourning, Non-Canonical Character Death, but it's not a main character, Everyone Has Issues, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Secret Relationship, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Fluff and Angst, Slow Burn, but not, Break Up, Shotgunning, Recreational Drug Use, Getting Back Together, still figuring out the story so pay attention to the tags, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cigarettes, Alcohol, lots of smoking, light mentions of alcohol, they drink but passively, steve has a nicotine addiction, Canon-Typical Violence, Hurt/Comfort, Unreliable Narrator, Period-Typical Homophobia, Vecna's Curse (Stranger Things), Eddie Munson Lives, Stranger Things 4 Vol. 2 Rewrite, Stranger Things 4 Fix-It, Eventual Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Eventual Smut, but that could change, Panic Attacks, Disabled Maxine "Max" Mayfield, Steve Harrington & Maxine "Max" Mayfield Have a Sibling Relationship, Secrets, steve has an issue with making everything a secret, Steve Harrington Is a Mess, Misunderstandings, Misunderstandings based on reputations, gets heavier than anticipated, Past Sexual Abuse, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Underage Rape/Non-con, referenced once in chapter nineteen, not a major theme

Summary from first fic in series:

"Steve Harrington isn't straight. It's been a few weeks since he sat on that bathroom floor at Starcourt with Robin, where she shared her biggest secret with him and unintentionally unlocked an entirely new side of Steve. Since he’s had to come to terms with being open to exploring that side of him, but he's finally acknowledged that he's most likely, definitely, without a doubt into guys." -- After coming to terms that he may be queer, Steve Harrington does a little exploration on his own and meets the one and only Eddie Munson. Just as things are going well and accepted the fact he's falling for Eddie in their own little bubble, Steve's world is shaken by a tragedy he can't quite talk about. And when the dust settles and he's nearly ready to put the pieces back together, his worlds collide when he realizes his Eddie is the same Eddie playing D&D with the kids. The same Eddie who's now wanted for murder thanks to another upside down monster. How will he save the day when he can barely focus watching his ex mingle with his monster fighting team?

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