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#she didn't think about it too deeply
oseytorvan · 1 year
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In httyd, Vikings are presented as illiterate people, many of whom disdain reading and think in narrow terms. Because of this, most fans (and Hooligans) do not realize that in order to be a chief, it is not enough to be loud and muscular. You need to have certain knowledge that is necessary for the management of the tribe – diplomacy, foreign languages, reading, counting, geography… 
Hiccup did not want to become a chief not only because he was not confident in his abilities and did not want to lose his freedom. Hiccup had been trained for this role since childhood and was one of the few who knew what responsibility would fall on his shoulders. Astrid didn't know. 
She's a good commander. She knows what the tribe needs. But Astrid did not receive proper training. Astrid sees only honor in this position, she has no idea what it really means to be a chief. Astrid does not know that it is necessary not only to give orders, but also to listen. Not only to observe traditions, but also to find innovative solutions. To see the problem where everyone else sees something ordinary. These are Hiccup's strengths and Astrid's weaknesses. 
No one is saying that it will be easy for Hiccup, that he will make only the right decisions. The fact is that Hiccup knew exactly what he was going for when he spoke: “A chief protects his own”. For him, this is not a game of reputation and authority, unlike Astrid or Snotlout, for him it is a responsibility that is too easy to not handle.
Astrid was not mistaken when she saw a good chief in Hiccup. He brought prosperity to his village. The problem is that until Hiccup became the chief Astrid never thought about what it meant to him.
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kanjichris · 1 month
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"why don't you want him to know how much you love him?" "that's a little personal. he knows." "uh-huh."
#interview with the vampire#iwtv#armand#the vampire armand#loumand#louis de pointe du lac#daniel molloy#alice molloy#must preface that NOBODY IS ALLOWED TO USE THIS FOR LDPDL HATE PURPOSES#even though louis (well both of them lbr) clearly had communication and commitment issues#armand directed a play that would KILL louis all because he was self conscious that louis didn't love him enough#anyway this is just one interpretation of the 'alice rejected daniel's proposal' convo scene#cause i see soo many people ask 'why did armand say all that' (and have wondered so myself)#even though we cant rule out the possibility that devil's minion happened in the past and that this was armandaniel history tease#armand could be projecting his choice re: louis and the trial onto alice's choice here#similar to how daniel was projecting his feelings about paris onto claudia in this same episode#i just think this would make sense thematically w armand's arc this season#(ie revealing what a deeply insecure and selfish and fucked up lover he is under his guise as a 500 yo devoted and caring husband)#armand 🤝 lestat: i will love you and i will hurt you. if i cant have you then i will break you#[plays under your spell by desire] whats the difference between love and obsession and desire? do you think this feeling could last forever#c.txt#mine#'she didnt think she could trust you' sounds like a YOU problem buddy#and then armand realizes he was wrong too late and bro was SCRAMBLING#the start of something beautiful aka failmarriage!!! :D
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possamble · 5 months
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What are your headcanons about Marcille's mom if you have any? It's interesting that what drew Donato to her was cause she lived the history he studied, or that was said somewhere at least. She must've had an interesting life.
so this was going to be just a normal answer but then I realized I have a Lot of Things To Say. so here goes, a compilation of what we know for a fact from the canon, what I've extrapolated from the visual cues and details, and my theories based on all of that.
Things we know for a fact about Marcille's mother because they were explicitly stated in the manga and supplemental materials:
She was a court mage for a Tall-man kingdom at the southern part of the Northern Continent
Donato, a court historian, fell in love with her because she had lived through the history he was studying, and he courted her for 17 years (age 15 to 32) before getting married
She was a cheerful person who rarely showed extreme emotion and took things as they came
She always cooked a huge meal for Marcille on her birthdays
She remarried a gnome after Donato's death and a short distance away from Marcille's childhood home
Pipi, Marcille's pet bird, was actually older than Marcille and originally belonged to her mother (bird died at 62)
She was extremely heartbroken when Donato died and ultimately ended up instilling a deep fear of mortality in Marcille with her words
the only time she showed extreme emotion in front of her family was when Donato could no longer eat his favourite dish near the end of his life.
She scolded Marcille for being cruel to ants (implying she can have a stern side when needed)
Things that are explicitly shown but mostly through visual cues
She has a very distinctive style of dress always involving a ribbon choker (mirroring Marcille's habit of always wearing a matching choker with any of her outfits that don't cover her neck)
She was almost stereotypically good at housekeeping and traditionally "wifely" things (very frequently depicted wearing an apron or doing some domestic chore when not at work, seems to have been an avid cook).
She knits? (also, note the affectionate smile as she's looking at Donato and Marcille reading a book together in the full panel)
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She was as excited for Marcille's milestones as Donato was.
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She didn't tell Marcille much about elven food
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(there are a couple things that this panel in particular implies:
She lived a good deal of her life (if not being born and raised) in a mainly elven country in the West, implied by her knowing enough of an elven region's cuisine to prefer Tall-man food over it
seems to have a pretty carefree and casual demeanour overall, if this is how she replied to Marcille asking her about it (sounds like she never gave her culinary preferences that much thought to begin with)
slightly related to number 2, it seems like she and Marcille had a fairly casual parent-child dynamic (especially in comparison to the Toudens' memory of their father)
(local elf tastes Italian food once and never goes back))
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However, she seems a lot more... serious in most of the other times we see her? Almost like the very stereotypical archetype of a graceful elf.
Subsequent conclusions about her personality:
Usually pretty carefree and cheerful at home, has been a loving and attentive parent throughout Marcille's childhood (while not being so doting that she didn't discipline Marcille).
Slightly more conjectural theories on her personality:
Had a much more graceful and professional personality at work, which would explain the more serious portraits we see of her.
Given that both she and Donato had positions at the royal court, it seems a little odd that she'd go out of her way to do all the housework herself, so maybe she just enjoyed doing it?
Now taping all the evidence together and toeing the line between analysis and fanfiction:
It's clear that she loved Donato very much and was utterly devastated by losing him. But there's one thing that really stuck out to me in what little we see of her:
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Doesn't she seem... angry? The way she's gritting her teeth, clutching the tablecloth, and how this is the first and only time we see her eyes opened that wide. In the following panel, you see her being quiet and dejected after her initial outburst. She's still crying very intensely, but her brows are furrowed, and she's not really responding to Donato's affection in her body language.
We're not told the details of how she felt about losing Donato other than that it upset her. But this, to me, implies that she was angry and resented that he was aging, that the end of his life was approaching. An "it's not fair" type of preemptive grief. And if this was the first and last time she cried like this in front of her family, she was either very good at coping in private... or very bad at letting herself feel unpleasant emotions until they become unavoidable and end up overwhelming her.
It's not too remarkable a detail on the surface. It's even reminiscent of what the audience has seen of Marcille. But... when it comes to the big picture, you'd think an elf who voluntarily chose to marry a tall-man and have a half-elf child would have been better prepared for this.
It kind of recontextualizes her cheerfulness to me.
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"I'm sure everything's gonna be okay!" (or some variation thereof, depending on what translation you have).
And this is stated to contrast her extreme grief when finally confronting Donato's failing body and eventual death. But I'm wondering if... maybe this optimism was why she was so upset. What if she went into all of it thinking "everything's gonna be okay"? What if she was a little young by elven standards, and just followed her heart thinking that her own resilience would get her through anything?
Of course, only to get completely overwhelmed when she actually loses Donato. She turns into a completely different person. And that's heartbreaking on its own-- but what the audience sees is the effect it had on Marcille. Can you imagine being her, watching your invincible and upbeat mother suddenly lose all the light in her eyes in one go?
I've already made a huge post about how I think Marcille models her "work persona" off her mother, but another thing that stuck with me as I was looking for more details in the manga was this:
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copy pasting from the other post i made about it lmao it's like... the second she resigns herself to lifelong pain and terror, there's another portrait of her mother facing her like this. with their heads bowed, in mirrored body language of resignation and despair and sorrow. Except it's posed like Marcille is still looking at her mother but her mother is looking away.
It took me a second to realize, but I think that it's a visual metaphor for the fact that Marcille's mother was the only long-lived role model she had-- and she failed to model healthy grief for her daughter. I don't say this as an accusation or to disparage her as a character, but just as a matter of fact. In her, Marcille was seeing herself older and losing a short-lived spouse or loved one of her own, and all she saw was hopelessness.
But her mother didn't mean to instill hopelessness and terror in her. She wasn't really thinking of how it would truly affect Marcille at all (at least, that's how I'm interpreting her looking down and away from Marcille in the metaphor), she was just sad. And she, in her own way, was trying to protect her daughter and help her prepare for future losses.
What she meant was "loss is inevitable, and you have to learn how to be in pain but live on anyway." What Marcille heard was "loss is inevitable, and you will be scared and hurt for the rest of your life."
Again. Marcille's mother doesn't feature explicitly in the story the way her father does -- but in so many ways, her shadow, her silhouette, her reflection is always hanging over Marcille.
All that to say... headcanon-wise (everything from here on is 100% without evidence lmao), I'd like to think that she matured and realized that she failed Marcille. I imagine her being regretful about it, wanting a chance to fix it but never finding a way to insert herself back into Marcille's life when Marcille is so so so busy becoming the most accomplished mage possible. I imagine her being herself again, now, so many years after her loss and after remarrying -- but with her cheerfulness tempered with a lot more wisdom and the pain of having gone through loss like that. I think the second Marcille actually tells her what happened in the dungeon, she'd want to go running to her daughter again -- if Marcille tells her the full truth instead of just being embarrassed she let things get that far. (oh, the tragedy of her wanting to be more like her mother and an accomplished adult who doesn't need to be babied... being embarrassed to actually tell her mother how much she fucked up...)
There's also the tension of her having remarried -- I know that there's at least a little bit of resentment that Marcille harbours about that, because she's childish like that at heart even if she makes an effort not to externalize it. I think that her mother would be aware of that, potentially adding to her sense of guilt and apprehension at trying to reappear/intrude on Marcille's life. I honestly don't think Marcille has met her stepfather -- or even considers him a stepfather rather than "mama's new husband" and kind of a total stranger. I think she and her mother actively don't talk about it in their correspondence, like an elephant in the room.
but, ultimately, I think her mother is on her side no matter what. Ancient magic? Dark necromancy? Sure, she'll feel guilty and like she was partially responsible for setting Marcille down such a painful path, but she wouldn't care. that's her daughter!! she would've moved back west and been petitioning for her at the court, buying a house right next to the Canaries barracks and visiting her every day that she wasn't on a mission. And if her husband had opinions on Marcille becoming a "dark arts user," he either gets over it or it's divorce with him. Yes, she might have had her optimism completely humbled by losing Donato like that -- but she's still headstrong and self-assured and she doesn't care what people think of her. It's her way or the highway and she's always going to be in Marcille's corner.
(She also needs a name lol. I went with Juno, just to be cute about "Marcille"s closest real life equivalent being Marcella, which is the female version of Marcellus, which in turn is a diminutive of Marcus, which was derived from Mars. Absolutely in love with Marcille potentially being named after Ares/Mars the fucking god of war btw)
#asks#she could easily be interpreted as distant or neglectful after Donato's death too#with how little involvement she has in Marcille's life/the fact that Marcille doesn't even mention her when talking about her life prospect#and that's fair! I will argue to hell and back that she was a loving parent when Donato was alive#but there's nothing that suggests she remained a loving parent afterwards#I just think that like... parental relationships are so complicated in dungeon meshi#you cannot deny that the toudens' mother loved them dearly but that she failed them both miserably as a parent#and i think it'd be more compelling if Marcille's mother was a little like that too#not a totally and easily dismissable deadbeat#but someone who truly loves her daughter but was only human herself and couldn't be what Marcille needed at a crucial moment#and regrets it deeply#and that the distance between them is mutually self-imposed by complicated feelings of guilt and fear#and a little resentment from Marcille's side that she hasn't really properly processed#I don't know if I'll ever get around to writing it but i had this idea where Marcille does finally spill the beans to her mom and she just#immediately arrives in Melini#and its awkward for a bit but they do finally have a heart to heart and air it all out#and marcille starts freaking out that her marriage is rocky rn bc her new husband wants her to distance herself from marcille#on account of the crimes and all#marcille's like no you can't blow up your marriage for me and her mother just shuts that shit down#'you didn't choose to be born. i was the one who made that choice for you'#'i brought you into this world and i'll be damned if i don't take responsibility for that the entire way'#'you are entitled to *nothing less* than my unconditional love.'#and obviously that's not a sentiment that's exactly healthy as a universal statement about parenthood#but i think its what her mother would believe and what marcille needs to hear#and dungeon meshi does such a fantastic job at just... letting imperfect things just *be* without having to justify it immediately#it expects the audience to do their own critical thinking#and know that its not trying to make sweeping universal statements in every instance#marcilleposting#marcille donato#junoposting
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korrasamibottles · 7 months
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Yeah Venom of the Red Lotus showed us how crazy powerful Korra is but The Last Stand had Korra transform the destructive power of a massive bomb blast into something regenerative in the culmination of one of the best character arcs I've ever seen. In my OPINION!!
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nevesmose · 5 months
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Somehow the idea of Curze whispering poison in his sister's ear repulsed Perturabo most of all.
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apostacism · 2 months
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maybe i should make an aeducan... it's the only way i can ever see myself restoring the anvil of the void
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trans-leek-cookie · 3 months
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the ending of i saw the tv glow fucked me up because in a meatphor sense she's going to spend the rest of her life in misery because she was too afraid to embrace her true self. her happy self. and in a literal sense she's LITERALLY being buried alive which is like top 100 fears of mine and the fact her inhaler stopped working which is like. the sign that she's losing oxygen kept me up at night. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAA
Ourgh yeah the burying alive is. Fucked up if real! But personally I've said before but I do see the ending as not Great but at least hopeful, I think even if she doesn't accept herself right away she's going to at least try to like, find people who can help her, because she is screaming for help at the end, even if no one responds. And that's much better than suffering in silence. At least, that's if you assume her life outside the Pink Opaque is real in some way, which tbh I do. I think even if she were to bury herself like Tara, it wouldn't perfectly put her in Isabel's body, and she wouldn't be young again. Idk I'll say that I think the world of ISTTVG is supernatural and sitting within unreality rather than full fantasy, and neither The Pink Opaque or "Real Life" is fully true. I think they blur together one way or another
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the-lark-ascending69 · 5 months
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> be a robin buckley fan
> be lesbian
> project on robin
> look up "internalized homophobia robin buckley" on tumblr because it's cathartic
> 3/4 of the posts are about st3ddie or just about steve
#saw one in which steve was like ''no robin you don't understand! i have never been loved! i don't know how that feels like!''#i have several grips about that interpretation#going from the fact that's not true (dustin is clearly a big steve fan + robin herself cares about him deeply)#to the fact he probably wouldn't be introspective enough to voice his emotions this concisely not to mention he'd probably wouldn't take#a moment to realize he's never felt loved if that were the case. i mean. he could think that. when he's like 35 and more in touch with his#inner world. 19yo steve can't even get the hint that hitting on a girl who's already clearly taken (nancy) is wrong so like i don't expect#him to be that smart#but i can live with people having takes i don't agree with. my opinion doesn't have to be everyone else's opinion if you see steve that way#it fine#what bothered me was the fact he was saying this to a lesbian living in the 80s lmao#who tells him that 1) her whole life has been an error 2) she doesn't think he'd want to be close to her if he truly knew her and 3)#3) is paralyzed by fear of social suicide if she dares believe for even a second that the girl she likes may like her too#like i dont need people to do deep dives into robin lore and quote from memory lines from Surviving Hawkins abt robin feeling like she's#rotten inside. not supposed to have friends. feeling like something is wrong with her and that pushes people away etc etc#the fact that she's a lesbian should tell you enough abt who has the biggest chances of being loved 😭#also bothered me that it showed up when looking up posts abt internalized homophobia because?? where's the internalized homophobia therw#unless it's gay steve feeling bad abt it in an AU (as if canon robin didn't go through it)#like look im not bothered to find steve-centric content in the robin tag cos people are gonna tag her in posts mentioning her.#she's his friend.#but there are barely any posts at all about robin's internalized homophobia. like i saw 2 or 3. compared to all the steve or steddie ones#where's the love for my babygirl 😭😭#anti steddie#not really but y'know i don't wanna bother anyone#edit: the bit about there being like 3 posts on robin w internalized homophobia isn't exactly true. there are a few. but they still feel#drowned in st3ddie posts#like something isn't right here
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my-beloved-lakes · 1 year
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I see a lot of people I knew from school posting pictures on their social medias with all their friends doing various fun things together. Meanwhile, I'm sitting at home wishing I could take a group photo with all my Tumblr mutuals to post so I can brag about having the best friends.
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nicollekidman · 8 months
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can we hear the lyra lore 🥺🥺🥺 pls
omg bestie.... i'm still actively working it out which is why i keep talking about journaling but bare bones.... she's the only child of a powerful elf family in baldur's gate, her mother is a mystery to her and her father is in Money, she's always been weird and withdrawn but like. a Dreamer in some sense.... she learns archery early and spends a lot of time alone. i don't think she's ever particularly happy or emotive but she enjoys exploring (and she's terribly vain... wants to look just like her mother). then she gets a baby sister and dotes on her to the point where she's basically raising her alone in kind of an obsessive way. when her sister is young, things start to get weird with her parents, they're gone more and more, and when they're home they're.... strange. but they want for nothing, and lyra and her sister are happy and inseparable (i'm still deciding on her name). when her sister is 20ish she's murdered, and through some set of circumstances i haven't fleshed out yet, lyra figures out it was her parents, as a sacrifice to bhaal. she kills both her parents and burns down their entire house for good measure, both so that there is no trace but also for herself.
i think she spends the next 40-50 years alone, basically doing bounty hunter work for money and drifting along. she only speaks when necessary, becomes ruthlessly pragmatic and essentially uninterested in the general population. she's basically turned off everything except her Life Functions. she gets a reputation in the lower city as the Ghost and people leave her alone because she minds her own business unless provoked or on a job (and sometimes the kids will manage to get gifts from her... they learn to read her body language and approach on good days). she keeps her rich clothes and facepaints and always looks immaculate (when you look both dead and rich, no one gets close). i think she also sometimes lets herself be bought when she's bored but if she ever ends up genuinely vulnerable or lets anything personal slip to a patron, she kills them. i think probably she's looking for something/someone to make her come back to life but she doesn't know that's what she's doing..... like being so hungry you can't feel it anymore. she's not evil and she's not robotic she's just kind of in an emotional coma, she's not even really seeking revenge bc she knows it won't bring her sister back and she can't bring herself to care enough.
i want to flesh out more of who she was before the murder but i'm waiting for her to tell me lol.
but yes, this is why she is such a freak with astarion + the party, but this post is long enough skdjfghjfkdsl canon timeline lore is insane in a different way but who doesn't want to be murdertwins with a random traumatized vamp you stumble upon, yknow.
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roamthefarlands · 2 months
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help im having the ysayle thoughts again
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mraprilgf · 8 months
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madney hc: their 1st valentine's day maddie tells chimney the flowers the chocolates the cinema the dinner lit candles etc all make her nauseous bc of doug so then he thinks long and hard on how to make the day not completely awful for her and he plans to make her find an edible bouquet in her locker at work - the plan in itself is already time sensible, involving a lot of timely sneaking around the place without getting caught by her (with the help of josh of course), but then something goes wrong on the actual day idk transports whatever and it sort of becomes a mission impossible situation and when he gets into the changing room he only has a few seconds before maddie gets in and catches him so he opens her locker and. finds an old issue of the firefighter calendar open on april with his own face grinning back at him. his brain shuts down. maddie finds him like that, frozen in front of her open locker, speechless, blushing so hard he almost shines with it. he slowly notices her and after a beat or two he stiffly moves to hand her the bouquet - still crimson, stammering heavily some sort of "happy valentine's"- and moves past her to leave the room in a daze, but she catches him and kisses him and they kiss and kiss and kiss, the fruits forgotten a bit squashed between their bodies, and then sue clears her throat and chimney has to leave and they both spend the rest of the day thinking about the other like two teenagers with a crush and anyways just like that valentine days stop belonging to doug <3
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POWERFULL BLACK WOMAN THAT ISN'T HARMED BY RACISM... SHE IS KIND AND WILL FIX ALL YOUR PROBLEMS... DO YOU AGREE...?
#Trans Lesbian Woman Pansexual Bisexuality Asexuality Demisexuality Paraphilia Interesting Funny Crazy Black Asian Lovable Cute#WE'RE ABUSED BECAUSE OUR ABUSER DOESN'T WANT TO LOSE CONTROL OF HER TARGET US VERY EVIL...#ALONGSIDE ALL THE OTHER EVIL BIGOTED CONSERVATIVE THINGS... INCLUDING HER LOVE TORWARDS HITLER...#SHE KNOWS WE ARE BETTER THAN HER. BETTER. SHE'S SCARED. HER ENTIRE WORLDVIEW IS INFERIOR TO OURS.#THAT IS ALL THIS IS ABOUT. WE ARE THE SAME WAY. AS IN WE'RE BETTER BECAUSE WE'RE RIGHT. AND SHE'S WRONG. SIMPLE AS THAT.#THAT WAS ALWAYS OBVIOUS WE WOULD NEVER BECOME LIKE THAT MONSTER. SHE'S SCARED ABOUT THAT TOO :).#SHE THINKS WE WILL BECOME SOMETHING INFERIOR... BUT WE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN SOMETHING BETTER.#A MONSTER CAN'T FACE HER DESTRUCTION... THE DESTRUCTION WE WOULD'VE NEVER CAUSED IN HER POSITION AND NEVER WILL...#THE SAME WAY WE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN WE. BUT THAT MONSTER IS INTIMIDATED BY US. SHE'S NEVER BEEN ABLE TO FACE OUR TRUE EXISTANCE...#SHE'S PATHETIC REALLY... ONLY S CONSERVATIVE WOULDN'T AGREE WITH US. ANY LEFTIST SHOULD. ANYONE THAT DOESN'T IS NO LEFTIST AND IS ONLY A#CONSERVATIVE ABUSER BIGOT. SIMPLE AS THAT. COME BLACK WOMAN. N N N... OMG... SUCH AN EVIL WORD... COME SAVE ALL OUR PROBLEMS...#FIX EVERYTHING... MAKE US TRANSITION... BECAUSE YOU LOVE US... YOU'RE POWERFULL... NEVER HURT BY SUCH RACISM... BECAUSE YOU KNOW...#THERE IS NOTHING RACIST ABOUT THAT... AND WE LOVE YOU DEEPLY... I LOVE YOU TOO... YOU CAN TELL WHAT IS DEEP INSIDE... WHAT WE NEED...#Mother Goddess Angel Sisters Princess Radqueer Feminist Communist Anarchist Suomi Finland Finnish Kiva Mukava Hauska Kiltti Kiiltävä Kaunis#Autism Adhd Tourette Npd Hpd Bpd Dpd Ppd Aspd Avpd Ocpd Szpd Stpd Osdd Spd Tpd Sdpd Papd Cptsd Trauma Victim Abuse Bipolar Psychosis#Scizophrenia Yandere Cool Nice Kind Badass Forgiving Gracefull Special Unique Peculiar Anime Writing Come Here Funny...#I Like Unicorn Overlord I Like Fire Emblem I Like Legend Of Heroes Trails Of Cold Steel 3 And 4#I Like Densetsu No Yuusha No Densetsu I Like Loop 7 I Like Spy Kyoushitsu I Like Code Geass#I Like Nana I Like Simoun I Like Mobile Suit Gundam Seed I Like Kakegurui#THE EVIL AND DISGUSTING ABUSER SOCIETY TOLD OUR ABUSER EVERY SINGLE EVIL NASTY ABUSER TACTIC THERE IS...#ALL ABOUT CONTROL... EVIL... THEY WOULD HAVE CONTINUED UNTIL WE'RE DEAD IF THEY COULD... TRANSPHOBIC ABUSER MONSTER...#THAT NEVER CARED A SINGLE BIT ABOUT THAT... SAVE US. WE DESERVE THIS. Sexism Racism Queerphobia Ableism Sanism Paraphobia Agephobia#Bodyphobia Sickphobia Discrimination Oppression :(... WE ARE ULTIMATE VICTIM... ALWAYS WILL BE... SAVE US...#Minecraft Is Evil... They're A Male Power Fantasy For Evil White Supremacist Nazi... That Justify Animalphobia And Capitalism#I NEED HER IN MY LIFE... SHE IS MOMMY AND SAVIOR... SHE IS THE ONLY PERSON THAT WILL CARE ABOUT US TO SAVE US... WE NEED HER... JUST A PIECE#THE PIECE THAT WILL MAKE US TRANSITION... THE CORE IMPORTANT OF EVERYTHING... WE HAVE ONLY BEEN ABANDONED BY EVERYONE.... THERE IS NOTHING#ELSE THAN THAT... WE HAVE BEEN ABANDONED ON INSANE LEVELS... THE ENTIRE WORLD... MOVING LIKE WE DIDN'T BELONG... THIS IS HOW THEY FEEL ABOUT#US... ATLEAST I FEEL LIKE WE HAVE NOTHING BESIDES WHAT ALREADY IS TO BE... HOWEVER BAD THINGS COULD RAIN ON US ANYTIME...#WE HAVE NO COMFORT ANYWHERE... ANYTHING IS SUFFERING... WE ARE TRAPPED... MORE THAN ANYTHING...#IN THE WORST ABUSE OF ALL... ONLY ESCAPE... HASN'T ARRIVED... SO MUCH TIME GONE... NOBODY... HERE...
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the-bisexual-a-genda · 7 months
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I think the deal that switched Fig and Gilear's luck didn't start in the Night Yorb fight. I'm thinking about Sophmore Year when Gilear said he was going to turn his life around. I don't know. That moment keeps sticking in my mind.
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one of my fav teaching moments this year is that i got to walk up to my mature, responsible, college-bound senior student in ceramics and say "hey, did you make a tata box??" and she was so confused she said "no--wait YES!" ... i mean nothing like your 30 year old teacher being an ami to really ruin your life
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emometalhead · 4 months
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#having a day full of mixed feelings#I suppose this is how life goes#I'm officially done with my Bachelor's degree as of today#obviously I'm proud of myself for the accomplishment and I was excited to be celebrated today#it was a long and difficult road and there were many times where I didn't think I'd live to see it through but I made it#I'm the first person in my family to get this degree and I was really looking forward to having today be my day#I had a really lovely morning and then things kind of waned#there were a few arguments. someone I spent the day with repeatedly made negative comments about something I care about#it felt awful. I know it was intended as more of a playful jab than anything but I directly asked for the comments to stop and they didn't#it especially hurt that it was a fandom thing and the person is so invested in their own fandoms yet they felt it fair to step on mine#even though I've never done that to them#then people kept talking over me and acted like I was wrong for trying to interject to finish my own sentences#also as I said in the last post I was deeply upset by how my family members spoke of my 12 year old cousin#she's just a kid and some of our close family members have such a nasty opinion of her. she's so young and she's had a rough few years#but it seems like no one except my brother and I are willing to give her any grace#I think everyone else has forgotten what it feels like to be a kid and feel as if the world is against you#on a more positive note. I had a decadent slice of chocolate cake. it was heavenly#unfortunately I was really too in my head to fully enjoy it#literally every day for 3 weeks I've been talking about the lunch I planned to have today#I knew exactly what meal and dessert I wanted from the restaurant. it's my absolute fave and isn't available at any other local restaurant#I was totally starving by time we got to the restaurant. we were out all morning and I ate a tiny breakfast in anticipation of this meal#when we got there we found out they removed what I planned to order from the menu. I was devastated.#I know it's stupid but like this was the one part of my day that I've had planned for MONTHS and I've been thinking about it for weeks#we had a 40 minute car ride where I mentioned my excitement for the food no less than 10 times so this crushed me#also I'm just really picky in general and typically restaurants only have one or two things I'm able to eat#I offered to just eat the dessert while everyone else ordered food because they were all really hungry too but they wouldn't allow it#we left the restaurant and I still feel horrible for walking out. if I had known the item was removed we wouldn't have even gone there#it happened so recently though and I feel dumb for not even thinking to check the menu online beforehand#so we went to another restaurant and I barely ate anything and now I have no appetite for dinner and I feel bad for ruining the afternoon#even though it's my day and my celebration and I feel like I'm entitled to a slight amount of unreasonableness
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