#she deserves the world. and angela is going to try to give it to her

[lunareiitic]

HSR 2.1 SPOILERS AHEAD BE WARNED.

---

Okay now that everyone who hasn't caught up has left: let's talk framing of the IPC.

When Topaz released, a lot of you were ragebaiting and telling people you hoped their jobs exploited them when people were like "oh I like her as character." Notably, I personally haven't seen that kind of ragebaiting with Aventurine's backstory and the answer isn't just misogyny, but it is related to how little some of you pay attention.

Topaz and Aventurine are peers, and are clearly juxtaposed as two sides of the same coin. While Aventurine was a literal slave, his people wiped out Aventurine eventually gambling his way into the IPC to become a Stoneheart, his backstory doesn't actually differ that much from Topaz's. Remember: both of these characters are antagonists to our Crew when the audience learns their histories.

Topaz lost everything to the IPC. She's a kind of scary career woman nowadays, but you have to remember that her world was on the brink of collapse and her world's leaders sold their entire population to the IPC. While Topaz may come across as more well adjusted than Aventurine is, the IPC's main strategy is putting their victims in a position where they can't reasonably refuse. It's why Aventurine is such a good lapdog of theirs: since he's willing to bet everything in order to win. He's adept at playing desperate and risky. A lot of discussion of Topaz's character misses this coercion aspect of her backstory because of how it's framed.

The Topaz Interlude is less focused on Topaz herself and more on showcasing the dark side of the IPC. Topaz herself is put in a murky light: friend, foe, and unlikely ally all in one. Her arc in that interlude puts the theme in neon lights "IPC bad, they're solutions aren't necessary if people work together" and Topaz as the "villain" is then "Defeated" and she withdraws and takes the L, leading to her arrival in 2.1 alongside Jade for Aventurine's plan.

Arguably, Aventurine is worse than Topaz in a lot of day-to-day regards: he doesn't have Topaz's sense of compassion and desperate desire to do good, he's openly lying to the cast and doesn't care particularly about their safety, and is actively trying to put Penacony back in the hands of the IPC so they can turn it back into an interstellar prison. (We don't have time to explain why Prisons Are Bad. Go listen to Angela Davis and get back here.) His goals don't feel as evil because of several factors: the first being that HSR knows he has a tragic backstory and is milking it for all that it's worth. Dead parents? Dead sister? Dead culture? Enslavement leading to indentured servitude leading to a deathwish? They give him the game's first perspective shift so you're even more willing to empathize and sympathize with him and his plight, something they'd never do for Topaz, a character whose morality is considerably more conflicted and put on the spot.

Penacony is also a much darker locale than Belobog: when Topaz arrives on Jarilo-VI, we've already solved all of their conflicts (theoretically. we're trusting that bronya can fix all of the shit her mother wrecked), so Topaz arriving is a unifying force of characters we already know an like. Penacony is a lot darker, and you're already primed to distrust and dislike them since they're well. The Family. People who might be just as bad as the IPC. This creates a weird moral flip in the eyes of the audience if you're not paying enough attention: the plot isn't "Penacony bad, therefore IPC good now" it's pretty clearly "Penacony bad, IPC possibly even worse" and the fact that Aventurine has set them up to win should send shivers up the spines of the viewers. Does the Dreamscape deserve to exist? If the IPC gets their way, it won't matter what the answer is. And Aventurine has gone all in to make sure it's so.

[augustvandyne]

5 times she almost she almost confesses, and the one time she actually does. ( Lucy Chen x firefighter!reader.)

been in the works for a long time.. i apologize

it has been a while but i’ve been struggling (still kinda am) but im trying to work on myself and i have more time to write now!!

1.

The first time she almost says it, it’s mainly as a joke, but she’s cut off by you.

It was only the third or fourth time she’d met you, but she thought you were gorgeous and she would’ve sold her soul to go out with you.

On a random Tuesday, her and Officer Bradford responded to a distress call that happened to involve a house fire. Which was why you and your station were later called.

You’d had run-ins involving Tim Bradford and his rookies in the past, so you weren’t completely struck by this form of ‘teaching,’ but you were still surprised.

When you arrived on the scene Officer Bradford was telling Lucy she should help out since they were the only ones available in the moment, and you all but yelled out for Lucy not to do that.

“Officer.. Bradford!” Bailey shook her head in disapproval. “You should never enter a burning house without the correct equipment.”

“We were busy waiting. For you,” Tim leaned forward angrily, and that was when you entered the house, so you didn’t hear the end of the conversation. But you would bet good money that Bailey won that argument.

You moved through the house along with a few other firefighters, and that was when you found Lucy in the kitchen, all but coughing her lung out.

“Officer Chen,” You took one of her hands and placed the other on her back so you could help her out of the house and off the counter she was leaning on.

She leaned most of her weight on you, because she was weak from smoke inhalation, but you eventually picked her up to get her out.

You sat her on the back of the ambulance, and started checking her out since you had some paramedic training under your belt, and the other paramedics were checking on the more serious injuries.

“You okay?” You immediately put a gas mask over her face so she could breathe.

She tried to remove the mask to speak, but you shook your head and said, “Don’t talk. Just nod yes or no.”

She gave you a nod to let you know she’s okay.

Officer Bradford appeared in front of the two of you, but you shake your head at him.

“Uh-uh,” You pursed your lips and stepped in front of him. “I think you should go elsewhere. After the stunt you just pulled, you ought to be put on probation, but it’s not up to me.”

“I—“ Tim stood there with his mouth open, like you could stand there and talk to him like that.

“So you can take yourself back over there to the rest of your cop buddies, while I clear Officer Chen for duty,” You stood, one hand on the mask and one hand on your hip.

Tim clears his throat, “I’ll wait over there.”

“I thought so,” You nodded and watched him walk back over to the police cars.

Lucy let out an exasperated laugh, “Thank you. I needed that. I may regret it tomorrow, but, he deserves it.” Lucy pauses. “I literally lo—“

“It was no problem, really, I see he’s a bit stuck up. Someone had to put him in his place,” You cut her off, not even realizing she was trying to speak until after. “I’m sorry, what were you saying?”

“Huh?” Lucy thought it would be best if she acted like she wasn’t saying anything. “Oh, nothing.”

“Okay,” You nodded. “You’re okay to go, but take your time. Make sure if you’re out of breath at any time, that you take a second to rest. My orders.”

“You got it,” Lucy stuck her thumb up with a smile.

“Bye, Officer Chen.”

2.

The missile attack took everyone by surprise, even you.

The Los Angeles Fire Department worked to help with damage control and to help maintain traffic on the freeway and along the streets.

It didn’t work very well, but it made you feel better to do that than to just sit around while the world ended.

Angela and Jackson eventually told you to just give it up because nothing was going to help if the world was really going to end in less than an hour.

You fought against her, but she told you and Bailey you should go find Tim and Lucy and find shelter, as they weren’t answering the radios.

Bailey grabbed your arm softly and pulled you away, because she knew about your small but growing crush on the woman, and she knew how worried you were, even if you pushed it down.

Angela told you their last known location, and that’s where you found them, drinking their worries away.

“Officer Chen,” You nodded with a small smile on your face — although it was fake, it was nice of you to try.

“Y/n,” Lucy’s eyes softened at another familiar face.

You look to Tim, and even though you weren’t his biggest fan, you greeted him with a pat on the shoulder. There was no need to keep enemies if you were about to die together.

“What are we drinking?” Bailey asked nervously.

“Tequila and Scotch,” Lucy tried handing the tequila to Bailey, but she shook her head.

“I’m not a tequila girl.. wine, and I can get down with.”

You chuckle lightly as you watch Bailey wander off to find a bottle of red wine, and take the bottle from Lucy. Your hands brushing in the process.

“I think I love you,” Lucy stumbled over her words slightly, and you just let out a breathy laugh.

“That’s very sweet, Officer Chen,” You kept your eyes on her as you took a sip from the bottle.

“The world is gonna end, so I thought I’d tell you,” Lucy shrugged jokingly, but deep down inside (and later in the months) she wasn’t really joking.

When it was all over, you found yourself sort of wishing she’d meant it, but you’ve only seen her a few times, and you barely even knew her favorite color. Not to mention she’d never even asked you on a date.

3.

You were very surprised when Lucy had asked you to be her date to Officer Angela Lopez’s wedding, but you reluctantly agreed to go.

The two of you had swapped numbers after the false missile attack, and she texted you like crazy.

Not that you’d ever complain, because the pictures of puppies and random selfies throughout the day was something you came to look forward to.

It’s months later, though, and you’re glad Lucy asked you out (kind of), finally!

You lived with Bailey, as she was your best friend, and the two of you decided to get ready together since John Nolan had asked her to come along as well.

You wore a lighter blue dress that had just been sitting in the back of your closet for months. It was a spaghetti strap, and it flowed along your body nicely with a slit up your leg.

You bought it for another occasion, but never ended up using it, so you just pushed it in the back, thinking you’d never have another need for it. But Bailey found it and convinced you this was exactly what you needed to wear to impress Lucy.

And she was right.

You’d pay good money to relive Lucy’s reaction to your dress over and over.

She had no shame in looking you up and down, which was good, because you had no shame in doing it to her, either.

The both of you looked away with a small blush on each of your faces from being ogled. That is, until Jackson pushed Lucy towards you.

“I’m going to go check on Angela,” Jackson removes his hand from Lucy’s back, and the two of you nod, but you aren’t really looking at him — more at each other.

“You look.. gorgeous,” You shook your head, amazed.

“You do too,” Lucy scoffed slightly. “If there was a competition, I think you’d win with flying colors.”

“Have you seen yourself?” You continued to ogle her.

You grab her hand softly, and lift your arms above the two of you so you can spin her around, her dress flowing freely with her.

“Oo, you’ve got moves,” Lucy laughed as you spun her back towards you.

“Yes, I do,” You lifted your brows jokingly. “We’ll have to dance together later.”

“Why not now?” Lucy whined. “We could just dance right here, right now. I don’t care who sees. Please?”

“Fine,” A small smile graces your lips. “But only because you asked so nicely.”

You timidly place a hand on Lucy’s back, because this was new territory, and you didn’t want to overstep. And you place your other hand in hers.

The two of you slow dance to a song that doesn’t even match your rhythm, and neither of you care.

Lucy spins you this time with a giggle, and your all but fall into her arms on your way back in. But you’re especially struck when she dips you without warning.

“I have moves?” You question with a huge grin on your face. “Look at you, Miss. Chen!”

She slowly lifts you back up and you are about to kiss her when a bunch of people start crowding around you.

“Lucy,” John is the first to speak, and with a shake to his head, Lucy removes herself from you.

“What?” Lucy’s smile is gone, and she’s given sympathetic looks. “Someone tell me what’s wrong. Now.”

Tim steps forward anxiously and whispers something in her ear, and you only catch parts of it.

Lucy looks like her hearts been ripped out of her chest over and over again, “O— oh. What— who did this?”

You lean forward and grab her in your arms, because all you heard was “Jackson and Lopez,” and “Missing.”

“Lucy,” Grey says in a plain voice, but there’s so much behind it, and Lucy pulls herself together.

“I have to—“

“Of course,” You held onto her hands, pulling her in for a small kiss on the cheek. “Text me if you need anything, okay?”

“Yes,” Lucy nods. “I lov— erally can’t thank you enough.”

You shake your head trying to figure out what she just said, but then Bailey is beside you and the two of you are following closely behind them to exit the venue.

4.

You hadn’t heard much from Lucy in the span of a few weeks, and you were starting to worry.

Especially because Lucy was an over the top texter, and she hadn’t so much as sent one message a day. More like two in a week.

She was coping the loss of her best friend, you knew that, but it didn’t stop you from worrying.

You wanted to bake her some cookies and put together a small basket like she had when you were sick a month or two ago.

Bailey offered to come along, but you told her not to worry. Not because this was something you wanted to do on your own, but because she’d been off and on with Officer John Nolan, and you couldn’t stand to be put in more than one awkward interaction today.

Once the basket was put together (you had to have Bailey help you wrap it up and put the bow on, but that’s beside the point) you left and made your way to the station.

“Is Bailey with you?” John perked up from the front desk upon your arrival, but he was quickly put back down after not seeing her.

“Not this time,” You shrugged apologetically. “I’m looking for Lucy. Is she in?”

He eyes the basket up and down, “She might be in the break room for her lunch.”

“Has she eaten?” You knew it was a long shot asking him, because he’d probably been out there all morning, but it was worth it to try.

“If I guessed, I’d say no,” He shook his head.

You sighed, biting the inside of your cheek, “I’ll just have to force feed her some of these cookies.”

“Sounds good,” John chuckled as you walked through the station, finding Lucy sitting where John said she might be. No food in sight.

“Y/n,” Lucy gives a slight smile, but it doesn’t reach her eyes.

“Hey,” You placed the huge basket on the table and Lucy’s eyes are drawn to it.

“You didn’t..” Lucy frowned slightly. “You really didn’t.. have to.”

Lucy’s lips started to quiver, and you were quick to hug her tightly. You hadn’t seen her since the wedding, and obviously hadn’t spoken much either, so you were walking in blind today. No clue how she was holding up.

“Shh,” You let her cry into your chest, rubbing her back reassuringly. “It’s okay, love. It’s okay.”

Smitty begins to walk in, head hung as he looks at his phone. He looks up with a startled expression, “Oh— uh, Chen..”

“Get out!” Lucy cried into your arms, and you just chuckled at the interaction.

Smitty stood still, unsure what to do, “I think it’s best if you go..” The two of you stood awkwardly, just staring at each other. “Hello? Move.”

He swallowed and nodded his head, shutting the door on his way out.

“I lo—“ Lucy stutters and you just nod your head.

“I know. Shhh, I know,” You place a small kiss on her head. “It’s okay.”

5.

Responding to a quiet call in what looked to be an abandoned house was just what you needed today. Until it wasn’t.

You’d disappeared through a hallway because Bailey said she had the foyer, but she didn’t.

When you came back, she was trapped in what looked to be a trap of some kind — and you could only assume it had to do with Rosalind Dyer.

You and your group quickly called the LAPD, and soon enough, your girlfriend of two months walked in. You’d now known each other for a year and some.

“Y/n,” She hugged you quickly, placing her forehead to yours. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

“Gee, thanks,” Bailey said sarcastically from below.

“I don’t think I could handle it if it were me down there,” You say truthfully. “You’re smart, and you’ll know what to do, Bails.”

“It was designed for me,” Bailey quickly observes the tank.

Your heart drops and breaks in your chest for your best friend, and you’re so scared you feel as though you may have a panic attack.

You feel Lucy shift closer to you, her lingering touches bringing you comfort.

A sympathetic smile sets on her lips, a quirk in her eyebrow to ask if you were okay. You give a nod in response.

Things escalate quickly after that. John disappears, Bailey comes close to death, it’s a whole mess. And you’re struggling to breathe because you can’t lose your best friend tonight. It just couldn’t happen.

As Celina encourages Bailey to stay under the water longer when the explosions happen, you’re standing off to the side, a hand held to your mouth to hold the vomit in.

Lucy stands from her crouch, a gentle hand coming to your back to soothe your anxiety.

The bile lowers, and you attempt to speak, but she beats you to it.

“I l—“

For once you think you understand what she’s trying to say, and the swallow that contracts her throat says it all for her. You knew, and you reciprocated, but now wasn’t the time. There was too much going on all at once and you couldn’t accept the words here— not like this.

A slight nod from you and Lucy’s eyes changed.

“She’s going to be okay,” It was an empty promise, both of you knew, but she was trying to convince the both of you. “Come here.”

She wraps you in her arms and for once you feel safe.

+1

When she actually says I love you, you were in the hospital.

It was a fire rescue gone wrong, and you were in critical condition.

When Lucy got word she dropped everything and hurried to the hospital. Not even caring about Tim’s insistence on letting him drive her.

She broke twenty different laws on the way there, but the only thing she was worried about was getting to you.

A small smile formed on your lips when you heard her shouts — actual shouts — at the nurse to let her see you. You even think she flashed her badge, and if you weren’t in so much pain you’d laugh.

She does finally appear at your door, her pleads finally working, and you’re more than happy to see her.

She timidly sits on your bedside, afraid she’s going to hurt you from three feet away.

“Lucy..” You try to talk, but it pains you to even do that, and Lucy can tell.

“Don’t talk,” She reaches her hand out but draws it back at the last second because the last thing she wasn’t to do is make you uncomfortable. “Let me speak.”

You scrunch your eyebrows together in concern, because what did she have to say?

“I’m sorry.”

“This isn’t—“

“What did I say?” Lucy attempts to be stern, but it just makes you smile. “I’m sorry this happened to you.”

Your lips wobble and she hates to see you like this.

“Bailey told me you had been rushed to the hospital. I’m so glad she did because I love you and I absolutely cannot lose you—“

Her eyes widen when she realizes what she’s said, her hand shooting to her mouth in shock.

“I.. I—“

“Lu—“

“Should I go? I should probably go, right?” Lucy nods nervously. “Or— just forget I said anything at all.”

“Lucy, I love you too.”

Your words catch her off guard, and suddenly the frown on her face is turned into a wide smile.

“You do?” She breathless.

“Of course I do. How couldn’t I?”

[kitty-av]

Hello CC fandom!

I've been lurking on CC Tumblr for a hot minute, and decided I needed to talk to people about the Facebook murder hidden objects/visual novel game. The brainrot won over the anxiety XD

I don't actually know a lot about the later games ( I watched like half of travel in time and the beginning district of MoTP and honestly it didn't feel the same. ) I mostly just brainrot over Pacific Bay and Save the World. I don't know why, but those are just MY games, you feel? The characters are just great, I vibe with them a lot. That being said, I doodled some of them!

I have no explanations or context except this. Amy influenced by Russell and the entirety of Pacific Bay would be unhinged in a good way. They become the CC equivalent of ' go kick his ass bby I got your flower ' if you get what I mean.

Angela loves Lars, I will die on that hill. She loves everyone, but Sombra is... Yknow, Sombra. Tell me they didn't try to threaten her husband and kids at least once, I dare you. Maybe it's me looking for nuance, but I firmly believe that besides her being raised in a cult essentially ( one of their branches literally was one ) she also thought there literally was no way she could stay with the team without sacrificing her family. I mean, Sombra agents got into and almost killed people in the Bureau multiple times. The only reason they didn't is because Jonah exists and he's not having any of it.

Speaking of STW, Michelle deserved better. I don't know why exactly, but I headcanon that because they were never shown together ( or so I remember ) she knew Jonah. Maybe she hired him for protection once. No other reason other than I feel they'd be those two friends that stay sober and drive everyone home after a party.

I'm really speaking about this because I randomly doodled these five, so I might as well give my thoughts.

I swear, I feel parched for interaction, I need more people to nerd out with over these games, even though I'm busy these days and likely will be. Is there maybe a discord server? Maybe I'll also lurk there ( likely not, knowing how excited I am to share all my little headcanons about these two games in particular) but it'll just feel nice to have that space to view more of people talking about the game. •^•

I'm open to doodling some more characters, but I'm doing it from memory, while bored at a seminar thing - and I'm also taking notes. I am a master of multitasking clearly. These are all done at the back of my notepad. XD

I suppose you guys can ask and I'll figure it out. I'm also probably going to give my thoughts on each character, or the little I remember if I don't.

I'm planning on rewatching Grimsborough gameplay soon because half of it has left my mind, and there isn't much emotional attachment, as with these two games, so... Yeah!

This is wordy because I'm feeling awkward posting into a smol fandom Tumblr honestly. I know it's not a crime at all, but it feels like I'm intruding into a sacred space or something XD

Well, I'll get used to it. So will you, hopefully. 👀💫

[super-predictable98]

Always an Angel | Casanova AU

Part 2: All Because of Angela

Word Count: 2,2 k

Warning: mild sexual content

(Masterlist)

"What exactly did he say, Rocco?" Angela asked, trying to sound as casual as possible while talking to Casanova's only friend and employee.

"Well, he said that he turns into an idiot whenever he's around her. He says he cannot give up because she is so beautiful. She's taken over his head, his blood, and his guts. He can't stop thinking about her and only her."

"He could always find someone else..."

"I told him, but he insists someone else wouldn't be her."

"Oh, poor thing," Angela couldn't help but smile. "Is he home?"

"He is reading, he said he didn't want any..."

"Angela!" Giacomo smiled, standing at the top of the stairs. "I thought I heard your voice! Come on up."

"Interruptions," Rocco mumbled, moving over to allow her to climb the stairs before closing the door. 

She sighed, letting her cape fall to the ground and revealing her red dress which made her skin look even paler and her hair look even darker. She knew she was beautiful in that outfit, she felt beautiful.

"Wow, you look like the type of woman someone would write a book about. Raven black hair, red lips like an apple, and skin as white as snow... I should write that down actually," Giacomo chuckled. 

"Thank you, Giac," she giggled. 

She was embarrassed to ask, who wouldn't be embarrassed? But it seemed the entirety of Venice knew she was being courted except for her. If he truly couldn't sleep or eat, consumed in desire, she had to do something about it. 

"So, um- I heard a few things about you," Angela cleared her throat.

"Oh? Filthy gossip as always? If it's bad, it's all true," he joked. 

"No, it wasn't bad, I just- I heard about your feelings. Your agony concerning... me."

Giacomo stared at her in confusion, his brows furrowed as he tried to remember ever mentioning anything of the sort. 

"You could never bring me agony, angel, you are the kindest person in the city."

"I heard about your courting and..."

"My courting," he narrowed his eyes until he finally understood. "My courting! Yes, I have been courting Angela Tusselo."

Her world suddenly crumbled, how could she be so stupid? Of course he wasn't courting her... Henriette had made it seem like she was only a baby, of course he wanted nothing to do with her! 

"Angela Tusselo, the daughter of the priest," she nodded, unable to hide her shock.

"Oh, dear. Did you think I was secretly courting you?" 

"I... yes! And I was terrified, because... because I cannot reciprocate your feelings," Angela quickly lied so as to not look foolish.

"Oh really? I always thought you found me quite handsome," Giacomo smirked. "Do you not?"

"I- Everyone finds you handsome, Giac, that is not the point. I just simply cannot like you because I am already promised to another man. The Viscount's son, Elias."

"That boy is as dull as a butter knife."

"Yes, I know. He would not be my first choice, believe me," Angela laughed nervously. "But who knows, maybe I will fall in love with him or maybe I'll manage to rid myself of him. Find a more suitable suitor."

"But not me."

"You are courting Angela Tusselo, why do you care?" She asked, intrigued by his little game.

"I think it's clear as day that I do not plan on marrying her. In fact, I received a visit last night from both her sisters, they kept me company all night in bed."

"You disgust me."

Angela couldn't get another word out without bursting into tears, it was so obvious all Giacomo wanted was to toy with her feelings. Why did she let him get away with it? Because of his looks? His charms? His voice? Well... yes, but not anymore! 

She was a catch, she was a young beautiful virgin with a sharp wit and every quality a husband could possibly want from a wife. She deserved better certainly.

So it started, Angela would go to gatherings and parties not to catch a glimpse of Casanova, but in hopes Casanova would catch a glimpse of her in her best dresses and looking absolutely content. Maybe this way he would realize what he'd been missing. 

"I am enjoying your new disposition," Henriette smiled when they entered yet another mansion. "Conversing with all the rich and powerful young men to secure yourself a good husband... I'm glad your silly infatuation with you-know-who is gone."

"Is yours gone as well?" Angela asked.

"I do not not what you mean."

Angela scoffed, she knew her sister also had a weak spot for Casanova, just like every woman in Europe. That infuriated her more than anything, to think she had to compete with her own sister... 

"Hello, angel," Giacomo approached Angela and gently kissed the back of her hand. "I haven't heard from you, don't tell me you are angry at me. I couldn't bear it."

"I am not, of course not. I have just been a tad busy with my affairs. Why would I be angry?" 

"You are right, it must be my own paranoia. I thought you were quite cross with me after I told you about the sisters Tusselo."

"Oh, that thing... Of course not, I know damn well you have slept with half of the women in Italy, there's no reason for me to get worked up over that."

"Half? I believe I had at least three-fourths..." he winked and sipped on his wine. 

He scanned the ballroom with restless eyes, he wished to ask something, but he couldn't find the right words, he did not want Angela to think he only came by to talk about that matter. They were friends, weren't they? At least he thought they were, but she had been so distant.

"Tell me what, angel, you see that soprano over there? Rocco thinks that's a boy, a castratto, but that's clearly a girl, right? Come on... that's a girl!" 

"I- what? But Bellino was inspected by the Bishop."

"The Bishop's been celibate for over fifty years, he doesn't know the difference anymore. That's a girl, I know girls!" 

"Let me guess. You are attracted to him and you are trying to make your attraction justified?"

"Well, it is! Because he- she's a girl!"

"So you admit you are attracted to him?" Henriette approached the pair with a huge smile. "I dare you to find out, Casanova."

"Do not give him any more reason to be stupid, sister," Angela chuckled. "He does that perfectly well on his own. You will end up disgracing yourself, that's what you'll do."

"Sorry, angel... I never turned down a dare."

Over the next few weeks, Giacomo did everything he could to win over Bellino's heart. He paid for his clothes and accommodations, made sure he would perform in the theater, and invited everyone to watch.

Angela simply let it happen, pretending like she was perfectly fine with all the extravagance, smiling politely at the boys who made conversation with her, and gracefully accepting her sister's praise for turning herself around and finally acting like a responsible adult. 

But of course she was only human, she couldn't keep appearances forever. One fateful night, the poor girl was sobbing right outside an elegant venue where a banquet was held. She wore her cape and leaned against one of the rough brick walls. How did she manage to become such a lifeless shell?

"What do you want?" Angela wiped her tears when she saw Casanova walking towards her.

"I just came to tell you that you win, the game has turned sour. The boy is a boy and now I disgraced myself just like you said I would."

"Good for you."

"Are you crying? Are you alright?" He lowered her hood and saw her red eyes. "Was it Elias? What did he do?"

"Nothing."

"He must've done something. What has he done? Has he hurt you?"

"Why do you care? Why are you here talking to me? I am nothing to you, Giacomo!" Her tears escaped before she could stop them.

"I thought... we were friends."

"Friends? Lucky me, the only woman in all of Italy that Giacomo Casanova only wants to be friends with! I must be hideous! I must be completely stupid! And now you're in love with that castratto."

"I'm not- I can't- I love him," Giacomo sighed, defeated.

"Then love him, make it worth something... friend."

*

The news that Casanova was engaged to Bellino, who was revealed to be a woman, after all, spread like wildfire. Everyone in Venice knew of them and when Henriette walked into her sister's bedroom to show her the invitation they had gotten for their engagement summer ball, all she heard was the loudest scream she had ever heard in her entire life. 

Angela cried for hours, hit her head on the wall, screamed some more, tore to pieces the book Giacomo had given her on her birthday, and then put it back together again, regretting her actions fueled by rage. 

After finally regaining her composure, she started to select which dress she would wear for the ball. She asked Grimani for a new one, but ended up choosing one of her sister's gowns, a green one with gold embroidery. She knew there was no hope to win him back now, but she had to show Giac and everyone else she was perfectly fine and did not mind at all that he was marrying someone else.

"You look divine this evening, Angela," Elias took her hand as they danced.

"Only tonight?" She spun around with a bored look.

"Well... n-no. You look divine every day, I just meant-"

"I know what you meant."

"Are you thirsty maybe? Would you like some refreshments?"

"No, my stomach is in a twist."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Would you like me to escort you outside or maybe walk you home?"

The boy wasn't a bad person. Yeah, he was dull, but most boys were. He didn't love Angela by any means, but he was kind to her and held her in high regard. There were worse fates than marrying him and she knew it quite well.

"Look, it's Casanova and his bride!" Elias pointed at the entrance where the couple stood wearing clothes that looked like had just been ripped and glued back together. The two seemed like survivors of a lion attack.

"They look marvelous, don't they?" Henriette asked while they made their way through the crowd. 

"Yes," Angela simply said, trying to smile, but the longer she looked, the harder it was to keep acting like everything was fine. She should be the one by his side, his bride. She wondered if she had said something before... maybe things could've turned out differently.

After a few more dances it was obvious the entire city was enamored with Bellino who had a brilliant career ahead of her. Angela couldn't see the appeal, but that might be due to her own bias... Everyone was looking at her except for Henriette and Giacomo, who had a silent conversation about the future.

"I have been meaning to introduce you," Angela interrupted them. "Giacomo, this is Elias. The one I told you about."

"Oh yes, the famous Elias," Giacomo collected himself. "You are one lucky fella, I hope you know that. And I hope you know if you ever do her wrong, I will find a way to make you regret you were born."

"What are you scared of, Giac? That he might be like you?" She mumbled. "Do not pretend to care now because you do not. Now if you'll excuse me..."

Angela had to leave the ballroom, she couldn't breathe, it was like all those feelings, all the small caresses she saw Casanova exchange with Bellino, all of that was being shoved down her throat and she was choking, suffocated by the words she couldn't say.

"Angel!" Giacomo ran after her, pushing Elias out of the way. "Are you feeling well?"

"Do I look well?"

"Uh... did I say something wrong?" He held her hand right before she left the room. 

"No, it is not what you said, it is what you didn't say."

"And what do you want me to say?" 

"If you need to ask me, the words would have no value."

"Do you- did I hurt your feelings? I thought you were in love with Elias since you have been by his side ever since our last meeting."

"Of course I'm not in love with him, did you look at him? He can't have a conversation that lasts more than five minutes!"

"Are you in love with... me?"

He truly had to ask? How stupid was he?

"No!"

"Are you sure?"

"I am quite sure! I am frustrated, I am tired. I am destined to marry a man I despise, I do not have a choice!" She had to lie, admitting her feelings for him would only make everything more complicated. And if he decided to follow through with the wedding, she feared the humiliation of the rejection might kill her.

"I'm sorry."

"So am I. I am going home."

"Can I have this dance before you go? Please, I would hate to see you go so upset."

"A dance won't change it. When you let go of my hand you will be engaged to Bellino, and I will be promised to Elias. When you let go of my hand the world will keep turning, it won't wait for me... Friend."

[whatwouldvalerydo]

For this month of @hp-12monthsofmagic I decided to have all my characters and talk about what love is for them. Hope you like it.

A dim light is cast in the middle of an otherwise pitch black room. Eight chairs make a perfect circle, names written down on them. Somewhere in the distance a door opening is heard, several footsteps resonating against the floor as eight people make their way towards the chairs assigned to them.

Some of them exchange a smile, a small greeting, while others look around the room, not a word being offered. But they all know who each and every single one is. They all also know the assignment handed out, however no one wants to go first.

The sound of a lighter is heard, eyes turning towards Gareth Farr who just lit up a cigarette “So, how do we do this? From old to new, new to old, or perhaps the ones who have been more silent as of late would like to start?” he asked, eyes travelling towards Leila Hellebore, her letting out a low hiss “Now, now, why so rigid? We are here to talk about how we see love. The sooner you speak the sooner you can get this over with.”

“Then you do it.” She snarled, eyes averting towards the darkness surrounding them.

Lifting her hand, Victoria Summer smiled “I can go first, although Oli is usually better with words that me.” A light being cast on her, Victoria squinting her eyes, sheltering them with her hand “I know love is different for everyone, but as far as I’m concerned, it’s warmth, like a lazy summer afternoon in the middle of a glorious garden filled with the most exquisite scents.” The light above her started changing colors, a pink hue taking over “It’s trying, it’s about making a choice and never giving up.”

A scoff was heard from within the room, however Victoria did not even look at the woman, instead continuing “It’s about passion” the light above turning more towards red “in all its meaning. About finding in that certain someone the world. Overwhelming, but beautiful nonetheless. Gareth, you can continue.”

His brows lifted, him nodding his head only once “Certainly.” Sitting up straighter, he tried to ignore the bright light shinning above him “Love in my case is a lesson, a very hard one to learn. Unfair at times” the color changing to grey “but regardless it is rewarding. I believe I have loved truly only once in my life despite the number of partners I had or will have. Times certainly played a part, my status even more so. But love also came in a different form and it was then I learned that was enough as well. Love is kind, it teaches you, humbles you in ways you never thought possible. Love is a trickster, but I think it gives you just what you deserve or need, not what you want.”

His eyes circled the room, landing on Leila, however he nominated Angela King. Offering a shy smile around the room, she finally spoke “I don’t know much about it, I’m currently trying new things, taking a leap so to speak, but I think a leap is a good way of describing love. It has a power like no other force in this world, be it for family, a partner, a pet, oneself or a certain thing.” The light above her started turning yellow, Angela smiling “But it’s beautiful, it’s…it should be amazing despite the struggles you endure and take to get there. That’s what I think right now. Jin, would you like to try?”

“Of course.” He took a small bow, thanking her for her words before he told the room his own vision “I never really experienced love like you all. When I see and hear how the majority of you perceive it, I truly know there is a difference. I have several wives and have had several men in my bed during my existence, however that does not mean I do not understand love. It is just different for someone like me.” He looked up, squinting since the color did not change “It is about sacrifices, putting others first before yourself, selfless if you will. It should be effortless, a base, a stable one at that.” The hues of his light finally turning towards a light brown, Jin Watanabe shaking his head, eyes locking with Talia Crane.

“Don’t nominate me, I’ll go last.” She stated, Jin pointing towards Jonathan King.

Lifting his hand, he awkwardly waved at everyone “Love” a smile forming on his lips instantly as he thought about Lachlan “is for me and I have to agree with Jin, should be effortless, but it doesn’t always go like that. I think it takes time, time for one to realize exactly what they want from love. It should be easy, but it’s not. It’s messy, it’s about being up late and night thinking about someone, listening to songs and your mind going to that person and it’s confusing as Hell. But when it happens, there’s nothing that can compare to it. It’s like your entire body is filled with this energy, your soul burning for one thing and one thing only. It’s scary” the light above him shifting between blue and green as he spoke “but it’s like finding home in the eyes and arms of that one person.” The room remained silent, some nodding, Jonathan turning to Scarlett Tempest.

Flipping her hair back, she rolled her eyes “Of course you’d fucking nominate me. Fine, let’s play this stupid game. Love. It’s overrated, oversold, tacky.” Checking her nails she reached inside her bag pulling out a pair of sunglasses “This light has better not be with high UV. Now back to the matter at hand, I think that somehow despite all the shit in this world that it’s for everyone and each of us have someone set for them. Not a soulmate, but close. It should feel safe, it should be like falling for your best friend” she pointed at Jonathan “or finding that person again” she said pointing at Victoria “and yes, it’s confusing and some days you want to strangle them when they rant on about Pokemon and health points and skills in I don’t know what game, but it’s endearing as well. And love should feel like you belong. Leila dear?” the light above her turning green as she finished speaking.

“Call me dear one more time and I will hunt you like one.” She frowned when the light shined on her, however she started speaking “It is strong yes, that is the definition of love, strength. It is about making a choice and having the power to abide by that choice. Never easy, never without a struggle, but rewarding. When you finally reach that calm” blue shinning over her “and the certainty that no one can touch you as long as you are by their side, that is power. That is love. A roar inside one’s soul, stronger than magic, freeing. It is freedom.”

Looking over at Talia, she glared upwards when the light shinned upon her “Love.” She smirked, shaking her head “It’s nothing but trouble.” Looking over at Gareth, she asked for a cigarette, continuing to speak once one was lit between her lips “And it’s different every time, just like each person, never ever the same. It’s sad and cruel or at least we make it like that. A sentiment that disturbs the very depths of you.” The light shut down, darkness surrounding her “Fitting” she scoffed “so I will keep it short. Yes it fuels and consumes you. It elevates and it crumbles you to dust. It’s disturbing enough and we allow it. When you live long enough your perception changes. And I envy the mortals because most of them see the better part of it.”

Taking a long drag, smoke left her lips “But I have seen the light and the dark. There are good times too, I won’t lie, but I’m still trying to understand it. And the more I live, the more it eludes me. But then again I’ve always been a sucker for love, so I’m curious to see what will happen when and if my heart will ever decide not to love. Not to consume the one near me. We will see.”

“So you are saying love is bad and it changes as years progress? Do I have that right?” Gareth asked her.

“Depends who you’re with. It can suffocate you or help you to finally breathe, sometimes both. Odd no?”

“Very.” Jin spoke, being the first to get up, all lights going out, before a bright white light came on “I do believe we are done. And that we are also not yet done with our journeys. There is much to come, much to be felt. I can only hope the best for all of you and myself included. Now shall we? I believe my home is far better suited than this empty shell of a room. Let us go, I have more stories to tell. Leila, you too and do not hiss at me.” Smiling at the group, he turned towards the door they all walked through.

[floatinginwords]

Random thoughts

If twilight ever rebooted I’d love it if they just didn’t follow the books entirely

Meaning

Let expand of the entire Cullen family, more backstories and personality, the family dynamic they all established for each other like show me Rosalie and Alice being sisters and shopping together gossiping about Edward and his fixation in the new human m, let Emmett and Edward try to hang out but Emmets thoughts being so loud and bothering him. Everyone annoyed with Jasper when he alters others emotions for his own gain? (Also can we just cut out Jasper being a confederate soldier or at least have him acknowledge that and either apologize or be like yea that was wrong idk but that has always been weird detail just thrown there)

The couples doing more than just hold hands and kiss. Like we see the trust between Alice and Jasper, Emmett being the only one to make Rosalie laugh and Rosalie always rising to defend Emmett even when he can protect himself. Carlisle dancing with Esme in the empty house. The backstory of how they fell in love

Give Bella more and better things to do. Why does she not have the motivation or ambition to be more than just what she is when she’s with Edward. Maybe she does want to go to college and be something . Maybe she does and meets other supernatural entities ?what if she wanted to travel or wasn’t ready for a long term commitment. What if she didn’t take Edward back after New moon and dated other people?

Also between you and me I think the Edward and Bella relationship could be soooo much more romantic. I want to root for them other than the reason they love each other . I want to root for them cause they make each other better and cause they like each other and they’ve grown from past mistakes.

The pack and Jacob. I loved the dynamic of the pack and the connection they have together. But JUSTICE TO LEAH. My girl deserved better in every way. Would love for her to leave that pack and find her own she-wolf pack because she couldn’t have been alone that too sad.

BELLAS FRIENDS. I don’t know but anyone but she could use some support other than Edward and Jacob. Angela I could see as bestie material. I always thought of her as like a secret witch.

Speaking of that let’s expand the universe. There can’t just be vampires and shapeshifting wolves. I’m thinking why not other shapeshifting animals, or ghouls, witches, fairies, elves, trolls. Whose to say that they are the only ones? I’m not saying all these at once cause that’s be a lot but I’m just thinking that there should be more? What about hunters who know about this world hidden from humans? The potential man.

Also can the Volutri be more of a threat? The whole series we hear about them and the power they posses. They demand Bella to be turned, she does it though it would have happened regardless, and then they get mad about baby refrigerator but leave after the miscommunication. I haven’t read the books in a bit but I just don’t remember if they just had one long talk about it and they were kind of insinuating that they wanted the powers of edward and Alice in the voltori

That could have been a bigger problem but it didn’t feel like it ever was. Alec could have put a hit on them or that fight scene in breaking dawn pt 2 could of actually happened and we see the result of what happens

I’m just spit ballin here but let’s get some LgbtQ+ characters and have them dress according to their personality. AND BLUE TINT YEA and keep the soundtrack either as is or as a blueprint. Get more diverse casting.

Make it a series instead of a movie. I can see this as a cool animation or live action.

I’m probably missing a bunch of other points. But yea this is what I was thinking about today

[purplesurveys]

1698

1. Think back to the last time (or a time) when you were in a fight with someone and just blurted out exactly what was on your mind. Did you somewhat regret saying what you said? What happened?: No. My mom had been short with me the whole day, going below the belt with her remarks and all, and she had hit my last straw; I feel like I deserved to bite back at that point as I stayed quiet that entire day. Nothing happened as I also went back to my room to calm down for the rest of the night.

2. Towards the end of your last relationship, how did you know it was over? How did you and your significant other change towards eachother? (ex. not calling each other babe, baby, etc.): She was already out of it the final weeks. The replies were getting more and more half-assed and the effort was nonexistent. In the end she went ahead to say she didn’t love me anymore, which is as big and loud a sign as it gets, so I just stopped fighting for it and agreed to break up. After breaking up, she also never ever talked to me anymore and while I didn’t get the hint at first, I made the choice to start letting go of the relationship (not just the romantic sense but like our whole friendship) as a New Year’s resolution. Midnight of January 1st 2021 I blocked her everywhere and started life on a new, blank, crisp slate. It was very difficult the first four months and I felt like I was headed nowhere after the breakup, until BTS barged their way into my life and made me excited about living again.

3. Have you ever had a significant other NOT believe you when you said “i love you” to them? Why was that? How did you react?: Probably? She was insecure in some ways and had a hard time believing me with some reassurances. One time she missed my birthday dinner, which was fine with me as it was an Easter Sunday anyway, but she treated it like it was the end of the world and was begging to break up with me because ‘I deserved someone better�� and all that sad boy crap.

4. When was the last time you had a hard time telling someone exactly how you felt? Did they understand where you were coming from?: Last night, I guess? Trina was once again giving me the whole spiel about how I’m being primed for another big promotion at work, and I didn’t have the heart to explicitly tell her that I want to turn it down so bad as I don’t think I’m at all ready and qualified for it. She definitely understands my feelings about it and I credit her for that, but at this point the decision was already made three months ago and the only way it would change is if I resign altogether lol.

5. Do opposites really attract? Have you ever experienced this? Explain: Sure. My ex and I were polar opposites. Some days we’d totally complement one another, but other times the opposite-ness would definitely rear its ugly head.

6. Has anyone close to you ever drifted away because they started hanging out with a new crowd? Did you try talking to them about it? What eventually happened?: Yes, this was what happened with mine and Angela’s friendship for a few years. I don’t resent her for it though as she is naturally a very friendly and likable person; I was the one who really struggled to make friends in school so I naturally got left behind.

7. Have you ever found yourself heading on the wrong path? What happened?: Kind of, yeah! I used to have a friend, Ellud, who was just crashing and burning down to a bad path. Never did homework, answered back to teachers, as far as I know even her parents and older brother feared her. Idolized pre-president Donald Trump to what I thought was an unhealthy degree. I slowly tried to disassociate myself from her as I was afraid to go down the same path. She switched schools sometime in high school (either that or she got kicked out) and I have not heard from her since as she seems to also have gone off-grid.

8. When did you last not feel accepted? Why did you feel that way?: When I was in Thailand I was speaking in English with my friends and was using slang in between my sentences, when I overheard an American group of friends repeat the slang I had said and snicker to themselves. To this day I still don’t know if they were making fun of me or if they found my English endearing, but years of Asian discrimination pushes me to believe the first. Anyway, it was so bizarre. I had a 1-second moment of feeling discriminated, but that quickly turned to annoyance and I just bit back by saying, “LOL that group is making fun of me” as loud as I could so that they knew I could clearly understand what they were doing.

9. When did you last turn to drinking to ‘escape’ from your problems? What caused you to do that?: I don’t really do that. It’s moreso that I drink after my problems are done and over with, as a means of, like, celebrating. The last time I did that was in May when I was finally done with the campaign that took up so much of my time and soul that month.

10. Has anyone had to take your drink from you because you were drinking too much? How did you react?: Yes and also because I still needed to drive home. I playfully resisted to make them laugh but I knew they were right so I just let go of the drink, too.

11. What’s your opinion on the world relying on technology too much and not paying enough attention to natural resources?: Technology is definitely helpful in a lot of ways, but people need to stop abusing what it can do. College kids who use AI to write their essays and turn those in without ever reviewing what the AI prompt came up with make me cringe. Listen to your profs and actually go through your readings.

12. Have you ever felt like it was just pointless to cry? Did you hold yourself back from crying or did you let it out?: I have never thought it pointless to cry. If I need to, I let it out. It feels good when you do, anyway.

13. “Words of wisdom all around but no one ever seems to listen.” What’s your opinion on this?: Perspective. Sometimes it’s not a matter of people not listening, and maybe it’s because whatever advice worked for you may not work out the same for me.

14. Do you prefer the city or country more? Why?: City. I need my spaces to be busy and be pouring with life, and I’d want everything I need to just be a quick stroll or drive away.

15. Have you ever felt like something was so horrible that you just wanted it to be a dream? What was it?: Many times. My grandpa’s death, my breakup, work going wrong, Kimi’s death...

16. Have you ever had a love/hate relationship with someone? Tell me about it: Just with my clients. I can’t help but get annoyed when they ask for something last-minute, message at midnight, or request for unreasonable and impossible deliverables.

17. When did you last turn to God with a problem? What was it? Did it help talking to him?: I was probably 10 when I prayed for the very last time. My mom was at the peak of her infliction of mental and emotional abuse, and I was just begging either 1) for her to change and be nice to me, or 2) just take me in my sleep. Things that no kid should be thinking. When none of those happened I cut Catholicism out of my life.

18. Has your pride ever gotten in the way of admitting that you felt weak or were in pain? How so?: Yeah, I’m pretty awful at handling my pride such that I’m very stubborn haha. My mindset about it is that as long as I live to see another day then I’m not actually struggling. Which I know is wrong and I’m trying to change that slowly.

19. Have you ever wanted something so bad it hurt? What was it?: Wanting to die, I guess.

20. Whose lies had affected you the most?: My ex’s and everyone who told me to just pray and all that crap.

[gnj9ata]

Life check point - I can't seem to go to sleep so I decided to redownload Tumblr and do a life check point of my life up to this point for preservation sake I guess. I had a thought of doing that with little videos and posting them to my YouTube channel. It's funny because I read old Tumblr messages on here and try to figure out my state of mind at that time to no avail.

So what is going on in life...

After all of these years, I am doing bumpers for the MCA again or should I call it The Chat Attack now. It's not mines anymore. It stop being that 6 years ago. He did ask me to come back on the show. I declined. I know me and my head. I would just try to recreate something that isn't there anymore. Same reason I keep watching the old bumpers and shows. I tell myself it's for inspiration or getting new ideas for the new bumpers, but it's me reliving the "glory" days. When I had a group of people listening to me. When I had power or control over something bigger than myself. If I am being honest, it feels good knowing I was "Top dog" at one point in time. That I got my idol at one point Korey Coleman to say "Attack the chat" once on a video, even though if I had the opportunity to talk to him about that, he probably wouldn't remember. It was something out of my head...that became real. That's powerful to me and I really want to do it again.

Ms gay is gone. Died from stomach cancer. Her mom had to stay with us for 4 months while Ms Gaye's sister was buying a house. She just moved out a month ago. Interesting experience. It took for her to die for me to know her name was first name was Carol.

Miranda is still missing...I miss her a lot. I told trey. I would have married her. And that is still true I feel. When I get the resources, I am going to find you.

And dan

Dan is still missing....

Find meech as well.

Jett seems happy with Nick. I'm happy for them both. They both deserve that. Had rough lives. It's nice they can finally get something out of it. Not sure if I will ever get married or what not and do that whole children thing. Only time will tell I guess. I could be reading this ten years from now and have all of these things. We will see.

I am kind of just kinda "meh" on the whole thing at the moment. Dating isn't even my main focus.

I work for pottery barn at the moment. Retail support agent. I answer emails all day. Easy ass job. I legit could just sit there for hours and occasionally do work. Sometimes I read a book or just watch YouTube videos. I am know as the "hype man" in the teams room. If I am being honest, it gives me similar feels to what I had with the MCA. People actually look for me and wonder where I am at. It feels nice to feel wanted or when people like to just be in your presence. But is it real? Just like the love I had with the MCA? Does it have an expiration date?

Because I know I will be curious later...

The book is Sophia's World: A history on philosophy. Good stuff so far. Recommend by ruthless. Yeah....still talking to him. He doesn't respect me like he use too. Doing thumbnails for his YouTube or at least I think I am. I haven't gotten work to do on it in a few weeks. We will see if that last.

I do thumbnails for Josh's The Afternoon Tune. Still going strong. Gave me free range on the thumbnails. I'm proud of him. Although everytime I look at the YouTube page, I see MCA DNA. Still friends with the group....we legit been through think and thin together so I think at this point, our relationship as friends...hell as family at this point is soild. I really hope they all respect me, but aren't these the same thoughts I had last time? Before I burned everything to the ground so what do I know? We are all meeting up for the first time as a group in March. Meeting up in New York. I hope everything goes well.

Regardless I know for a fact I have Fernando and Soberna in my corner. I still talk to them. The only folks from staples at this point. Although the Halloween party, I did get to see Angela, josh and Jermaine. That was fucking cool. I am really happy for Jermaine and his husband. Had no idea the dude was gay, but happy for him regardless.

Devon is still Devon.... maybe worst...or maybe our relationship is just really bad. It's almost like resentment now. I don't even like talking to him now. It's like I have already mourned the lost of my brother and he is still here. I am not even sure how to approach this situation at all. Recently had a conversation with mom about how I am frustrated that he gets to give up, but I can't. Even if I had the opportunity to do so, my mind wouldn't let me. I know I would regret all that wasted time. I have stuff I want to do with my life. And I can't stop until those are accomplished. And even then....lol

Anything else?

I am very annoyed in myself that I have forgotten alot of stuff I use to know. After effects, driving, pass books or let's plays I have watched. What was the last let's play I watched?

Can't remember. (Could probably check the YouTube history if I cared enough)

Still working with my therapist on mindpath. Although I am thinking of just cutting it off. I think I May have reached the point of what she can help with. I think this is one of those roads I probably have to finish alone. I have changed my sessions from every two weeks to every three weeks.

I still care about what my mom, my friends, my coworkers.....other people think about me. I still care and haven't learned my lesson yet. What is it going to take for me to finally stop caring? What is it going to take? The improvement junkie stuff is starting to get annoying to. I can't even relax on my off day and using time to think about how to get better at after effects or improve my memory or get better at mental math. I am going through timeline order of the marvel movies at the moment which is alot more fun than I thought. Trying to get back into gaming more with my steam deck. I love that thing.

It's 6 am and I have yet to get any sleep. And I am suppose to be driving to see Fernando and Soberna today. I need sleep....

[maliayukimura]

also also also lauren cooper starting a club for intersex people in university and falling in love with an original character

Title: Kiss Me (Like You Wanna Be Loved)Fandom: Faking ItPairing: Lauren Cooper/Original Female CharacterWordcount: ~ 1.5K Notes: This is the song that’s referenced in the fic and title. It’s a cover of “Kiss Me” by Sara Philips, originally by Ed Sheeran.on ao3 here

“That will be $4.00,” Lauren told the boy as she packaged up the cupcake in a clear takeout box. “All proceeds go to the local LGBT youth center. Thank you. Have a great day.”

After receiving the cupcake, the boy also dropped his change into the donation bin before leaving their booth. Lauren called after him, “Thank you. Have a great day.”

It was a little slow during the beginning of Lauren’s shift of manning the Intersex Club’s bake sale, but she had her good friend, Donnie Warden, with her to pass the time. Donnie had a pack of cards in their jacket pocket, so the two of them played a couple rounds of Go Fish while they waited for more customers.

With more students up and heading to lunch, business picked up around noon. Lauren and Donnie developed a system. She would package up the baked goods while they handled the money. The pair worked together like well oiled machine.

“Thank you. Come again,” Lauren told the current customer when Donnie lightly nudged her with their elbow. Once the customer left, Lauren turned to them. “What now?”

“Thought you’d want to know your girl was comin’ over,” Donnie replied, wiggling their eyebrows suggestively and gesturing to the other side of the quad.

Lauren looked up and followed their gaze. Her eyes landed on the tall brunette with flawless hair and dressed to the nines in a pink skater dress and pearl necklace. She was carrying a picnic basket as she made her way over to them.

“Hey Babe,” the girl greeted after she pressed to Lauren’s lips. She then turned to Donnie. “Hey Donnie. Good to see you.”

“Always a pleasure, Angela,” they replied with their Southern charm. “What brings you into our next of the woods?”

“I wanted to make sure we were still on for tonight,” Angela responded, sending Lauren a questioning look. After Lauren nodded in confirmation, Angela continued, “And to support the Intersex Club by buying some of the delicious baked goods my girlfriend made.”

Donnie and Angela chatted as Lauren picked out some cookies and brownies for her girlfriend. She even wrapped a pretty bow around the takeout box.

“How much do I owe you?” Angela asked as Lauren passed her the box.

Before Lauren could even answer, Donnie replied, “It’s on the house.”

“No, no. This is a fundraiser for a great cause,” Angela protested. “How much for the treats?”

Donnie shook their head. “Nope. It’s on us.”

Lauren knew that Angela would willingly spend the rest of the day arguing with Donnie until they let her pay for the baked goods. Gesturing to the donation bin, she piped in, “If you’d like, you can make a donation instead.”

Angela pulled two twenty dollar bills out of her wallet and dropped them into the donation bin.

“Thank you for the donation,” Lauren replied, grinning up at her girlfriend.

“I’ve still have a few things to take care of,” Angela informed Lauren, pressing a quick kiss to her lips. “But I’ll see you at five. Don’t forget we’re meeting by the library.”

“I can’t wait,” Lauren replied, standing up on her tippy toes to steal a few more kisses. Donnie made a playful gagging noise in the background due to the girls’ public displays of affection.

Angela gathered up her things. She kissed Lauren one more time before getting ready to leave. “See you later, babe. Bye Donnie.”

“Bye Angela,” Donnie called out as Angela walked away. They then turned to Lauren. “Your girl is a saint.”

Lauren smiled fondly as she watched Angela leave. “Yeah. She really is.”

The rest of the day went by quickly. Donnie and Lauren gossiped and played card games in their down time. By the time, Lauren had to leave to go meet up with Angela again, they were almost completely sold out of baked goods. Luckily when Denise and Trevor came to relieve Lauren and Donnie of their shift, they brought some more freshly baked goods with them.

Lauren hugged Donnie goodbye before heading off to the library to meet Angela.

“Go get her, Tiger,” Donnie called after her, causing Lauren to chuckle.

When Lauren got to the library, Angela wasn’t there yet. She looked down at her watch and realized that she was still early. She sat down on one of the outdoor benches and played on her phone as she waited.

A few minutes later, she heard the sound of heels tapping against concrete. She looked up to see Angela walking toward her. She stood up and met her halfway.

Angela greeted her with a kiss. “Ready to go?”

Lauren smiled up at her. “I can’t wait to see what you planned for us.”

“Oh, that reminds me,” Angela said, pulling out a silk scarf. “Can you put this on?”

Lauren sent her a questioning look. “You want to blindfold me?”

“It’s for the surprise I have in store for us,” Angela explained. “Do you trust me?”

“Of course,” Lauren replied. Angela helped her tie the blindfold over her eyes. Once making sure it was secure, Angela gave Lauren a peck on the cheek. Lauren giggled and then blindly reached out for her girlfriend. Angela looped their arms together. She slowly led Lauren to their destination, answering Lauren’s questions as they went.

“Are we there yet?” Lauren asked after they had walked for a short while.

“Just a little further,” Angela answered, pressing a kiss to Lauren’s temple. “We’re almost there, I promise.”

After few minutes later, Angela brought them to a stop. She slowly pulled her arm back from Lauren. “Wait right there. I just have to put the on the finishing touches.”

Lauren stood in place as Angela left her side. She couldn’t see her, but she could hear her. She heard what sounded like someone ruffling a blanket.

“Okay. You can take off your blindfold now,” Angela announced.

Lauren pulled her blindfold off and was greeted with a scene straight out of a Nicholas Sparks novel. A blanket was spread out under the old dogwood tree. Fairy lights were strung up along the tree trunk and throughout the branches. It was most romantic thing Lauren had ever seen.

“So what do you think?” Angela asked, a little nervous due to Lauren’s silence.

Lauren stepped forward and kissed her. “This is amazing. I love it. I love you.”

“I love you too,” Angela replied.

After that, the two girls sat down on the blanket together. Angela opened up the picnic basket and pulled out some food for them to eat. They cuddled up together as they ate the meal Angela had packed for them.

When they were done eating, Angela stood up and straightened out her dress. She reached out to Lauren, offering to help her up. “May I have this dance?”

Lauren accepted her help up. “But there isn’t any music.”

“I can fix that,” Angela answered. She pulled her phone out. A soft melody poured out of the phone’s  speakers.

Angela gently took Lauren’s hand in her and placed the other on her hip. Lauren wrapped an arm around her girlfriend’s shoulders. The two kissed and danced to the music. Angela raised their joined hands and spun Lauren around.

Kiss me like you wanna be loved,

Wanna be loved…

This feels like falling in love,

Falling in love…

Once she was pulled back in, Lauren wrapped both her arms around Angela’s neck. She laid her head down against her girlfriend’s shoulder. Angela pressed a kiss to her forehead. The two embraced as the swayed to the music.  

When Lauren went off to college, she had decided she would take a break from her failed love life and just focus on her studies. She never expected a fiery Communications Major to waltz into her life and make her fall in love again. She was grateful to have Angela in her life.

The two girls continued to hold each other and sway despite the music ending a few minutes ago.

“I love you, Lauren Cooper,” Angela whispered softly.

Lauren pulled back just enough so she could look her in the eye but not far enough to completely remove herself from the embrace. “I love you too, Angela Moreno.”

Lauren stood up on her tippy toes and pressed a soft kiss to her lips. She carefully pulled Angela down as she deepened the kiss. The two girls laid down on the picnic blanket as they traded kisses. The beautiful sunset in the background completely forgotten.

It wasn’t until Lauren let out a small shiver did the two girls pull apart. Angela gave Lauren her jacket to keep her warm. The two girls cleaned up their picnic and decided to end the night.

Angela held Lauren’s hand while she walked her back to her dorm. Once they got there, she softly  kissed her goodnight before leaving for her own dorm. Lauren, still wrapped up in her girlfriend’s coat, stood in the doorway and watched her go.

When she re-entered her dorm room, Lauren had a fond smile on her face that stayed there for the rest of the night.

[byersfanclub]

im actually sick of the “will deserves better” thing because i used to sort of think the same until i sat down and realized that mike is such a complex character who is dealing with his own shit.

ofc im not excusing the way mike treated will during s3 but like you have to realize they’re 13/14ish yrs old and it’s the 1980s and you’re brought into a reagan bush family who aren’t REALLY there for you emotionally at all (Karen is sort of but not really) and you have to deal with your best friend being kidnapped to another dimension and see his “dead body” and he’s a best friend that is more than a best friend but you may not realize this until later (s3) and you decide to best thing to do is stick to heteronormativity even if it’s with a girl who’s just been thrust into the real world and it’s not fair for neither of you because you’re too young to really understand the implications of being in a romantic relationship but OVERALL when it comes down to it, you still would do anything the moment that best friend is genuinely and visibly upset or can sense something is wrong and he ends up moving away for the sake of his own families safety and you begin to realize that, wow, maybe your feelings for that friend go beyond platonic because your ex gf kissed you and it was WEIRD and your left visibly distraught in said best friends room (in front of his closet) after you’d just felt so much happiness when he said he’d never join another DnD party, then as they drive off you stare longingly at his home, a place his (ex?) gf never lived, so it’s definitely about this friend.

then you go without seeing each other for six months, you barely talk because everytime you try to call the line is busy but this friend never calls you. so you feel hopeless, highschool sucks without him, hawkins isn’t the same without him. you miss him, you feel like you’re losing him again, because you’re so focused on trying to keep up this heteronormative front because you’re apparently dating your ex gf again even after the weird “ily2” interaction you had that felt so off. your friend isn’t reaching out so you begin to stop reaching out, but you find out that your friends mom has a telemarketer job and she works from home, you whine about it so much in the short amount of time you’ve known that your other friends bring it up in conversation later on. you find out your best friend might like a girl, that he’s painting something for said girl. this annoys you, it eats at you. you’re visibly distressed about this, you don’t even seem to be that happy anymore about going to california the next day (where your gf lives with your friends family) arguing with your parents about staying out late for DnD. (a game you said you were getting too old for last year) all day at school, you’re bothered by this because why else would you be so bothered? because your other friend can’t make it to DnD that night? you were bothered before you even found that out.

you finally arrive in california that next morning, but you’re dressed not like yourself, like your putting on a front to see your gf but wait— your friend is there too, he’s going in for a big hug but you’re overwhelmed and give him a shoulder pat and to make it worse? he’s holding something that seems like a painting and you ask him what it is, he’s say it is a painting. the painting. you don’t know how to react to this, why would he bring it? is it for you? no, it’s for… angela. it’s for angela. the girl your friend likes is angela and they might be seeing her today. that’s why he brought it. you end up at a roller rink, you notice your friend is being quiet, barely engaging in conversation, overall he’s not paying attention to you. meanwhile you’re sort of doing the exact same thing, but it’s bothering you so much that he’s not paying attention to you. even after your gf get publicly bullied by the girl you thought your friend liked, you shift the blame onto him for not telling you that your gf was having problems, you get mad at him for being a bummer all day but to your surprise he snaps back and… he sees right through you. your mad for him not talking to you? he says you’ve made it clear you’re not interested in anything he has to say. you know that’s not true, you say it’s not true. but neither of you discuss the actual reason as to why. you wrote a book of letters to your gf/his sister but left him in the dark, it’s because shes your girlfriend. you and him are friends. you’re friends. because you have to reiterate this, you’ve thought about what it’d be like if you were more. you’ve entertained the idea. he says you used to be best friends and you visibly recognize this, but brush it off because the topic is too heavy. later that night you practically dissociate from dinner, you’re rethinking the nights events, you’re not there for your gf, in fact you cause her to storm off and… you don’t go after her. the next day you attempt to understand why she lied and overall she just wants one thing, to hear and see you say that you love her. you can’t say it. you even begin to unknowingly gaslight her, it’s not on purpose but a defense mechanism because you can’t lose her. she’s your best friend too, she’s also the last sense of “normalcy” you have. but in the end you do lose her, it’s obvious your relationship isn’t going to work, you can’t come back from a fight like that. you confide in your friend about it, you don’t really tell him the issue, (that you can’t say you love her, because you’re gay/bi, you love your friend not her) but allude to it and it’s like your asking for a way out. like you’re asking for the reassurance that breaking up with your gf is okay and it won’t change your friendship. maybe you think it over for awhile, because the next time you talk to said friend you feel yourself teasing him, it feels almost flirtatious and it feels okay to do. it doesn’t feel wrong like you thought it would. you’ve starting thinking about those feelings again, the feelings you had a revelation for last year. they feel more real. you tell him how you’ve felt distant, you miss him, nothing is the same without him. you want to be best friends again. it feels intimate, way more intimate than a platonic conversation should be. the next time you two talk, you start to being up the topic again. maybe if you were just honest with your girlfriend, maybe if you’d broken it off mutually, that you love her as a friend but not romantically because you’ve been hiding something from her then maybe she wouldn’t have left without you. your friend comforts you again, sometimes telling people the truth, especially to people you care about the most, is scary. because what if they don’t like the truth? that’s why you’ve been weary of telling her, being honest, because what if she doesn’t like the truth? it’s a scary thought.

you once again bring up this topic because it’s eating at you alive, but your friend hands you that painting. the painting that was for a girl. it makes you so unbelievably happy, you love your friends art but… he tells you your gf commissioned it. that it was her idea. this confuses you, because you were told one thing in her letter and you’re being told another in that moment. would she lie to cover up the surprise? or why would she bring it up at all? why would your friend bring it to the airport instead of your gf giving it to you privately? you’re not sure what to believe, but he’s telling you things you needed to hear. you want these words to be from him, you feel like they are, cause you’re so mesmerized and touched by them.

you find your gf, you end up having to defeat the evil once again and you end up having a one on one with her, it looks like you’re about to talk about something important, you know what it’s going to be. you need to talk about it too. you need to be honest with her. you get cut off before you can. the next moment you watch her convulse, dying right in front of you and you’re encouraged by your friend to try and save her, what can you do? tell her what you think she needs to hear, and almost all of it is lies, nothing about your confession is genuine other than what she’d been wearing the night you met her.

and after all of that. she barely speaks to you, doesn’t seem interested in talking to you. because you lied again. you don’t love her. you love your best friend. will byers. and with the threat still out there, you’re determined to not let anything happen to him. ever again.

I would say, Mike Wheeler deserves every ounce of love that Will Byers has for him. The Will Byers who loves everything about Mike Wheeler, his dorky interests and obnoxious singing. and Will Byers deserves all of the love that Mike Wheeler has for him, the love that’s been buried for far too long.

[angelabowermicelli]

Share ten different favorite characters from ten different pieces of media in no particular order. Then send this to 10 people (anon or not, your choice) 🎥🎬📺

omg hello wow um new username who dis? lol but hi. thank you for the ask, I will try my best!

here we go I guess:

Annie Edison, my beloved. 💕 (Community)

I’ve loved Annie since the first time I watched Community. She’s insane, she’s intelligent, she’s incredible. What more can I say? The answer is a lot, but now is simply not the time.

Peggy Carter (Captain America/Agent Carter/MCU)

Peggy my darling angel, she was one of my first, like, fave characters/role models ever and remains so to this day! She is a strong, independent woman who can kick some butt and knows exactly what she wants. Also like- the hair and the lipstick?? Iconic.

The Lorax (The Lorax)

I hope it is well known that I love a kids movie and The Lorax is one of my favorites ever! He speaks for the trees! 🥲 It literally makes me cry when he has the little funeral for the first tree I love him so much.

Jane Eyre (Jane Eyre)

Obviously the title character is the best one. Um what more could you want than poor, plain, and simple Jane. I don’t really know- this book was so insanely wild like what? but also like I feel so sad for Jane in so much of the beginning- my precious baby. But I love how she realizes her worth and value and makes a life for herself and finds family and like yes, is it insane that Mr. Rochester kept his wife in the attic and then that wife later jumped off the top of his burning mansion to her death and Jane later marries that man? Absolutely of course but it’s all part of the drama and the intrigue that is Jane Eyre.

Cher Horowitz (Clueless)

Yes, she is the worst ever, but also if you think about it…I love her. The audacity. The style. The story. I love her. I love that she has some real character growth and learns the value of friendship and like giving a little and I think it’s a really fun adaptation of Emma and the cultural impact? I mean come on!

Ted Lasso (Ted Lasso)

Okay like yes, is every character in this show somehow insanely amazing? Yes. But Ted just has this energy and joy that I want so badly to have in my life! I feel like I’m a pretty positive person, but he just absolutely outshines everyone and like how do I be like that? He is so good.

Edmund Hewlett (TURN)

But also Anna Strong, you know what I mean?? How can I choose between them! I love them both so much- Anna is our queen honestly and just who is doing it like her?? Nobody, that’s who! But Edmund is my skrunkly little baby and I love him too much he is too precious and too pure for this world he deserved to live happily ever after with Anna. 😭

Effie Trinket (The Hunger Games)

Okay, like, yes, obviously Katniss is our queen and we love her endlessly, BUT I have an undying love for Effie!! She is way superficial at the beginning of the series and so wrapped up in Capital culture, but I love the way she starts to see through the mask of the Games even in the first book/movie and especially through the second and third. I think she really understands the depth of evil that the Games perpetuate and I really liked watching her transformation. Plus like who can ignore her insane style and over-the-top aesthetic? Iconic.

Janet Wood (Three’s Company)

My queen angel Janet. She’s the rock of the apartment- the rest of them are literally insane and she holds them all together with logic and intelligence and steadfastness. She is also so cool and amazing and what a sweet baby I just want her to be happy.

Angela Bower (Who’s the Boss)

My namesake, of course. Don’t get me wrong, I love Tony so much also! But Angela is so cool, I just love her. She is smart & dorky and confident and just awesome all around. She is hard-working and so caring, and like the queen of late-80s-early-90s fashion and that is all thank you.

[snifflesthemouse]

This morning, I read an article titled “I went undercover in the sinister world of Meghan Markle hate accounts" posted to Refinery 29. The title gives the impression of a journalist disguising one’s self as a “Meghan Markle hater” for the sake of getting to the bottom of something. However, the content of the article is nothing like its title.

Before I go further, let me stress the importance of perspective. My post isn’t an attack on the article’s author. I’ve never even heard of the author before now, and I’ve no right or reason to attack a perfect stranger because I vehemently disagree with the content of their work. Making assumptions about someone solely on what they write is lazy and sloppy in my opinion. I may be lazy and sloppy, but a hypocrite I try not to be. Therefore, go forward remembering my issues are with content, not creator.

The article starts out explaining the origins of the term “Megxit”. It continues with other hashtags, conspiracy theories, and so on. The article even mentions various media platforms “attacking" the Duchess, as well as crude posts witnessed by the author.

Then the name dropping begins. First with Murky Meg, then Sue Blackhurst, then According2Taz, then Skippyv20 on Tumblr, then Yankee Wally. Eventually, names of Royal Rota journalists are dropped. Then people like Angela Levin and Omid Scobie get mentioned, with interviews from the latter. Instead of an undercover sting, we get a “Who’s Who" of Megxit, a few anonymous Sussex Squad quotations, and Omid trying his best to be fair.

What this article accomplishes is very little when it comes to objectivity. The title is a misconception, and the content essentially paints targets on the backs of the people the author carelessly considers “Meghan Markle Haters". The article reduces anyone who disagrees with Meghan’s behavior as racist, misogynist, conspiracy theorist nutters. So, not only is the content of the article sloppy and lazy, it also lacks originality. We’ve all heard this sad song-and-dance number a million times.

I guess at face value, it becomes very easy, effortless really, for outsiders looking in to reduce an entire group of people with similar views to the basic stereotypes as old as time. It takes very little thought, consideration, or critical analysis, to assume things because they seem to correlate. But correlation is not causation. Just because some people opposing of Meghan Markle’s behavior happen to be racist doesn’t mean every single opposing person is also racist. Again, lazy and sloppy.

Just like assuming every single Meghan Markle fan is also vegan, anti-monarchy, feminist, woke warriors is downright sloppy and lazy. This author has personally interacted with and found common ground with Sussex Squad people many times. Some even became social media friends. They believe what they do, and I believe what I do. We do not agree with most things regarding Harry and Meghan, but we do agree to disagree and be civil.

So, contrary to the article, not all people “hate" Meghan Markle just because they detest her behavior. It’s important to remember extremes exist for all spectrums. Every topic, especially those politicized or made popular by media platforms, have extremes. There is no denying the fact that there are people who hate Meghan Markle because of her ethnicity. Those extremists who hate Meghan for her ethnicity ironically do not discriminate, though. If they hate her for her ethnicity, they hate ALL people of that same ethnicity.

On the flip side of this coin, is the other extreme. The face is the same on each side because the face represents extremism. There is no denying the fact that there are extremists who see anyone opposing Meghan as racists. Extremists who, by default, view every issue in the world through the lens of racism. While racism is a serious problem that deserves no place in society, assuming racism is the root cause of every conflict is also lazy and sloppy. And the same could be said that these extremists do not discriminate, either. If they see race as the only issue for why people “hate" Meghan Markle, they see race as the only issue for most everything.

The problem with both extremes is when everything and everyone is reduced to racial identity, racism only continues to exist. A racist using skin color as a disqualifier perpetuates racism. Assuming racism is the only reason behind disdain for someone only perpetuates racism. Focusing on race or racism allows no room for content of character.

Especially when people defend Meghan Markle being the victim of racism with a racist rule. When opposing critics say “I didn’t even know she was Black" or suggest her physical features, her Hollywood CV, or past involvement with Black causes were nonexistent before she became a duchess or stepped down from being a working royal, the extremists on the other side often resort to the One Drop Rule.

Which means their defense for calling Meghan Markle “haters" racists, even though they might have never knew she was mixed race, is a form of racism. The One Drop Rule was borne from the Reconstruction Era post-Civil War. The “rule" essentially said anyone who appeared to have Black features were considered Black.

The One Drop Rule was the precursor and eventual backbone to Jim Crow Laws of the South. It was used to oppress and segregate Americans based on physical appearance. Considering most people who never heard of Meghan before Harry came along were ignorant to her mixed heritage, it seems grossly negligent to assume race is the real issue. How can one be racist toward Meghan when they didn’t know she was mixed race? This author wasn’t aware of Meghan’s ethnicity prior to it being pointed out (by her and Harry. Repeatedly.), mainly because this author didn’t care.

Like so many, when I first saw Meghan and Harry together for the engagement interview, I was more excited about a fellow American joining the Royal Family. After learning she was biracial, well it was even better. It represented change and progress. Does that mean I saw the Royal Family as racists beforehand? No. It means I saw them as exactly the opposite. Had they been racist, she’d not be a duchess. Her being American and divorced was more a shock to me than being mixed.

The point of all this is there are extremists on every spectrum. For a journalist to say they went undercover, when in fact they did not, to expose the true motives behind Meghan Markle “haters", only to find they did very little to really understand the other side was disappointing. Not surprising, just disappointing. This could’ve been an excellent opportunity for someone to take the reigns and make bridges between two very passionate factions. Instead it became nothing more than a hit piece.

The article fails to acknowledge the possibility – no, the probability – that most people who object to Meghan Markle do so because of how she behaves. The article only considers one possibility behind this “hate". And by calling the objections “hate", the article in turn defines all criticisms as hate speech. Again, unoriginal, sloppy, and lazy.

So here we have it, yet another article grouping and stereotyping anyone who disapproves of Meghan and Harry as racist haters. Yet again, another article name dropping people “deemed racist haters", essentially painting even bigger targets on the backs of those people. Like they didn’t already have enough hate mail. Yet again, another sloppy, lazy, article that never digs below the surface to understand why instead of assuming it.

This isn’t new, it’s just another slop drop from the sensationalism machine that has replaced fair, legitimate journalism. It would be different if there weren’t so many questions surrounding the births. It would be different if Meghan Markle actually lived by the example she so vehemently preaches. It would be different if Meghan Markle would make amends with her own family before telling the world how they should treat people. It would be different if Meghan Markle were a strong woman instead of claiming to be one.

But it’s not different. She hasn’t spoken to her father since two days before her wedding three years ago. She denies the family connections that existed before her fame. She ghosts people once they are no longer of benefit. She preaches equality and universal service while using her title every chance given. She and her husband criticize the “family she never had" while naming their second child after that family’s Matriarch. All of those are behaviors that incite strong emotional responses. Behaviors. And behavior has no racial identity.

A final note… hypocrisy is the main reason people have issues with anything. When one group of people tells another group to stop attacking a public figure, while using assumptions as their crusade call, it’s hypocrisy. One cannot say “if you can’t take the heat, then shut up!” to another without being a hypocrite. When that happens, don’t be surprised when the same exact thing is said back. If Meghan or her fans can’t take the criticism, they shouldn’t participate in it. We all have the right to choose. Just like if I couldn’t handle the criticism, I’d not be writing this.

Life is not fair. The world is a dark, cruel place. When we expect the world to bend to the will of a few, we are setting ourselves above the majority. A strong woman would know this. A strong woman fighting for others would also know that the only person responsible for how one feels is one’s self. External feedback isn’t responsible for internal turmoil. Internal feedback is. That is all.

REFERENCE:

Amoako, A. (2021 June 11). I went undercover in the sinister world of Meghan Markle hate accounts. Refinery29. Retrieved from: https://www.refinery29.com/en-gb/2021/06/10518195/megxit-meghan-markle-anti-fandom

[yunkiwii]

—potions gone wrong—

☆ hogwarts au ☆

pairing: bsf!hyunjin x gn!reader | ft. jeongin and mentions of minho

supportive oc: angela, female

genre: sfw. comedic and chaotic, may be considered fluff by some people

wc: 2.4k

warnings: hints of jealousy, mentions of illegal (magical world wise) actions, potion-induced obsession

a/n: i'm pretty sure that in the harry potter series amortentia doesn't work the way i described here, but let's just ignore that shall we? ♡

summary: two boys decide to make a love potion to conquer the crush of one of them. unfortunately, something seems to have gone wrong and y/n needs to step in..

shout out to: ficscafe prompt dialogue event ♡

↳ "I'll give you 20 bucks if you kiss me."

↳ "I don't think that's legal, but we can work around it."

↳ "Shut up, this isn't a wattpad fanfic"

Completely imersed in the pile of books you gathered in the library in order to try and understand more about potions, you get startled when a boy throws himself into the chair next to you, a yellow stripped tie hitting your head in the process.

"I'll give you 20 bucks if you kiss me."

"What? No!", you give him a disgusted and confused look before digging your head into the old dusty pages again.

"Come on!! Angela keeps coming to me trying to snuggle and kiss me and-", as dramatic as he is, Hyunjin pretends he is going to be sick, exaggerating on the nasty sounds way too close to your ear.

"What? Why?", your bestfriend finally caught your full attention as you turn to face him, "Wait, Angela as in like, Angela your major crush perfect-Angela? Weren't you supposed to like, I don't know, enjoy the attention?" But then the face he makes, his cheeks turning shades of pink as his gaze drifts away from you and he sinks down in his chair in embarrassment, realization hits you, "No! No you did not! Are you like what, dumb?", you flick is head inducing a loud squeal to come out his mouth.

"It was Jeongin's idea!", his voice three pitches higher than before, "And I can't be that dumb if I managed to make that stupid love potion work. But that's beside the point, will you do it or not?"

"Do what? Kiss you? And how will that help you dimwit?", you went to flick his head again because, to be fair, he deserved it, but Hyunjin knew you too well and held your hand in time to stop you from hurting his pretty face, as he likes to state.

"To break the curse! Make her give up on me by making her think we're together or something!"

"What curse? There is no curse! And she isn't even thinking right now, she might just kill me out of jealousy!", at this point you're pratically yelling at each other and are forced to leave the library, resuming this odd conversation on your way to Ravenclaw's common room.

"I still can't believe you let yourself go with what Jeongin tells you. He's evil you know?"

"Should've guessed by the green scarf huh?", you slap his arm lightly, not very fond of the jokes made regarding the fact your other best friend is a Slytherin.

"So, how do I solve this?", he basically pleas at you as you sit down on the desk next to the fireplace, as far away as possible from your housemates. Every two in three students has made, or attempted to make, some sort of potion or spell to have something in their advantage. However, amortentia wasn't just "some potion", and if some were to find out that Hwang - head in space - Hyunjin succeded at his attempt they would never leave his poor ass alone, so for now your plan was to keep this subject as low-key as possible.

"Marry her." you say nonchalantly while, without his knowledge, already looking up all about amortentia, its possible side effects and how long it would take to wear off - if ever-, receiving a whine in return.

"It was really fun at first, you know? The flirting was cute, the smooches were great," and boy he put some emphasis on that adjective,"but now it's like she's obsessed with me! She's clingy and talks with that annoying voice and I can't seem to get rid of her!" Hyunjin throws himself face down into the old couch and whines again, words muffled by the pillow where he burried his face. "She's probably standing right outside the door just now!"

"Wait, what do you mean it was fun at first? How long has this been going on Hwang Hyunjin? And why am I only knowing of this now?", you turn around in your chair way too fast, hitting with your knee on the other chair next to you before facing the mop of brown hair all spread around the blue pillow.

"Well, I barely ever saw you all week!", the boy turns his head just the minimum amount to look at you, "You're either with your nose buried in those old books, or with your hands all over Lee Minho! Not my fault you no longer have time for your friends..."

"First of all," you pull out the pillow he's laying on, his face falling on the black cushion as a few curses leave his lips, "lower your tone! I did not spend the week with my hands all over Minho, I am tutoring him in potions!"

"Which you're not that good at, that's why you walk everywhere with those fat books..." Hyunjin rolls his eyes at you as he recovers the pillow from your hands again, "Don't deny it (y/n), you've got the hots for him!"

"Oh sweetie, I sense jealousy in your tone... is that why you gave Angela a poorly made potion?", you show him the page you've been reading between the backs and forths of your not so relevent argument, only for him to realize the potion should've worn off two days ago. Instead, it only got worse. "Perhaps you could use some reading too huh?"

The boy rips the book from your hands, grunting between his teeth sounds you doubted to be words as he makes his way out, only to shut the door as soon as he opens it, squealing loudly when his eyes meet the ones from the Gryffindor's brunette standing right in the middle of the hallway.

"I'm telling you (y/n), she won't leave me alone! It's like she's obsessed!", Hyunjin keeps his back against the door, afraid the girl could open it by some miracle driven by her potion induced feelings, hence she doesn't have the password.

"Well, you see Hyunjin... that's because she is! And it's your fault, you should simply face it..."

"Oh I'm going the kill Jeongin...", the boy grunts ignoring your words completely as the whines coming from the other side of the door overlapped them, "Can you go get him? Or get rid of her?"

You make your way to the door Hyunjin refuses to unblock and, when words and pushes didn't make the tall boy move, you had to resort to your wand, although the simple threat was more than enough for him to make way for you. He stayed hidden in the corner as you parted the door slightly to tell the girl her beloved had disapparated from there, and she should probably look at the quidditch court. The fact she believed you only proved how strongly she was affected by the potion, since everyone knew Hyunjin would never go to a sports court by his free will and disapparating into and out Hogwarts wasn't possible at all.

As soon as the path got clear you both made your way to the shrieking shack through the whomping willow everyone was so afraid of, but that was exactly why the three of you claimed it as your secret meeting place.

Jeongin was already waiting as you sent him a message through your magic notepad when you got rid of Angela, and you had to secure Hyunjin to not throw the book at the Slytherin boy who only laughed in return. The laughter didn't last long though, because you only stopped Hyunjin so you would be the one scolding the younger one, flicking his head the same way you did to the lover boy earlier.

"Hey! What did you do that for?", the boy frowned at you rubbing his forehead.

"To bring you back to reality, so you can both fix the mess you made!"

"But what's the problem?" Jeongin looked at you with honest confusion on his face, "Is this about the potion? You know that thing wears off in like a week or so right?"

"Exactly... do the math now genius..." Hyunjin rolls his eyes before leaning his back against the spiderweb covered walls.

The three of you spent the whole afternoon trying to figure out what went wrong in the first place, you analyzing every single detail of the procedure, and the boys trying to recreate every step they took to reach the final product. But, after hours of research and theories nothing seemed to have gone wrong, well except for the exaggerated and long-lasting effect of the potion.

"We should just obliviate the poor girl..." suggested Jeongin at one point, head in his hands as a sing of withdrawal.

“I don’t think that’s legal, but we can work around it...” You agree with him closing the book you were now reading for the fifth time.

"Are you guys serious? Because that sounds great! Can we get away with it?" Hyunjin's eyes were sparkling in hope as he shifted in his seat to a more straight up position, ready to do whatever it took to get to walk in peace around the school, without being unexpectedly smooched in the cheek and squezeed into a hug every time the girl spotted him.

"No, it's a joke!" You both sigh at your friend's desperation before calling it a day, deciding to resume your research first thing in the morning.

As per usual, you met with the boys for breakfast at the dining hall, though this time they weren't alone and you couldn't help out a giggle when Angela, as glued to Hyunjin as possible while feeding him something funny looking with a spoon, winked at you as soon as you sat in front of her and next to Jeongin. The latter looked almost as horrified as the pampered boy, and you had to focus to try and keep yourself from bursting into laughter before the scene that was unfolding in front of you.

Hyunjin looked like an annoyed pouty baby slumped in his chair - as an attempt to go unnoticed -, while the smiley girl, - one that seemed to have way too much energy in the morning -, pulled some strands of the boy's hair behind his ear before kissing his cheek, "You're so pretty Hyunnie-jin, and I hate to leave you," the girl pouts as she pinches his cheeks rather aggressively, "but don't worry sugarplum, I'll be waiting for you in the astronomy tower when you leave class." This time the kiss is aimed at his lips, but Hyunjin antecipates her intentions and dodges his head with a slick move, just not fast enough to be fully free of her, ending up with her lips awkwardly attached half to his jaw, half to the corner of his lip.

"So you decided to give in?" You couldn't help the grin that was forming on your face, finding it hilarious how the universe always had a way to keep things balanced.

"Shut up. I had to if I didn't want to starve myself, it was one sacrafice I was willing to take." Hyunjin furiously rubs his face with a napkin, as if it would erase the memory of the previous demonstration of affection.

"I say it's the karma, you were basically playing and manipulating her the moment you gave her the potion, now you face the consequences."

"It's like she's taking revenge..." Jeongin mumbles more to himself than to his friends, but he was still heard, and had now two pairs of eyes locked on him waiting for a further explanation to what seemed to be a pretty plausable theory. "We already concluded we didn't do anything wrong, right?"

"Yes, it's still hard to believe though..." you take a sip of your pumpking juice with a raise eybrow, honestly still impressed at how they pulled that off.

"So what if she got aware that Hyunjin gave-"

"We, Jeongin, we!! This wasn't just me okay? I just got the, uh, benefits?"

"Ok, sure, whatever... What if she became aware that we," emphasis on the pronoun as he glanced at Hyunjin, "gave her a potion and now that it wore off she is pulling this act as a pay back? Because, according to our lover boy, if it was nice at first then why would she suddenly start acting all obsessively?"

Both you and Hyunjin took a moment to reflect on this new theory, one Jeongin was really proud of as showed by his smug grin when he crossed his arms and relaxed back in his chair.

"I hate to admit it, but that makes a lot of sense... and explains why she winked at me when I got here..."

"Okay yes, she is faking it... why else would she wink at (y/n) when I'm the one she's supposed to be focused on?", the boy threw his arms up with a questionting - and slightly offended - look.

"Time for confrontation!" you were already standing up with Hyunjin following the lead, but you held yourselves back when you realized Jeongin wasn't moving, looking between the both of you still grinning.

"I've got a better idea..."

It was a terrible idea, you thought, and wanted no part in it at all so you let the boys discuss the details while you just sat there judging their poor life decisions.

The plan was for Hyunjin, instead of confronting her and get it over with as you suggested, to play along as if he too was deeply in love with her, and see who would break out of character first. As much as you tried to explain how childish and stupid the plan was, the boys simply wouldn't listen to you, convinced this was the best idea they've ever had.

Hyunjin got oddly excited about this and ran to astronomy class, already antecipating the act he would pull off when he'd see the girl waiting for him at the bottom of the stairs when he'd get out, leaving you and Jeongin alone in the dining all. The contrast of your opinions on this was pretty clear in your faces, Jeongin laughing loudly, you furrowing your brows and shaking your head in disapproval.

Then, all of a sudden, the boy stops laughing and looks at you, "What if they actually end up falling in love after all this?"

He sounded seriously concerned yet amused at the same time, while you only rolled your eyes at him before collecting your books and leaving for class as well.

"Shut up, this isn't a wattpad fanfic."

networks: @ficscafe @k-library @k-dinernet @districtninewriters

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[spookymultimedia]

Understanding CATS

Angela explains to Andy why she likes CATS, a musical he doesn't understand at all

"I don't understand, what do you get from CATS? It's just a ridiculous show." Andy commented at Angela's couch, petting a kitty that sat at the arm of his seat.

"Ridiculous?" She sat at the other end of the couch brushing out the back end of a cat.

"Yes, it's ridiculous. I'm sorry but it just is. They sing at the drop of a hat with no build up, the story is completely convoluted. It's just madness. It's not like Les Misérables or Rent. Those musicals reflect humanity and suffering and sacrifice and love. CATS is just weird with a bunch of horny cats singing and dancing."

"I respectfully disagree." She muttered, but Andy heard her.

"Okay well what do you think?"

"No I'll sound stupid. You're probably right anyway. You're smart about these things."

He scooted closer, "No, your thoughts are just as important as mine. I'm sorry."

"Well, it's just cats. People like cats. Sometimes cats have different little personalities and it's just fun to meet them all I guess. Like, I'm sure you've meet a gumby cat at least once in your life."

Andy blinked at her.

"Musicals don't need to have some deep meaning to be good, you know." She sighed and stroked her cats back.

"I guess, but, what's the angelical ball stuff all about?" He cocked his head. "What's with this resurrection stuff? It just comes out of nowhere in the middle of the musical."

"They mention it in the very beginning." She glared at him.

"They were talking weird, 'couldn't understand them."

She sighed, "You know how they say that cats have nine lives?"

"I guess."

"The Angelical Ball is where Deuteronimy chooses which cay gets a chance at a new life-."

"Why does he get to choose? This all sounds like a cult."

She crossed her arms.

"I'm sorry I'll stop talking, go on." He put an arm around her delicately. She sat still against his arm. She thought about it.

"Well, these cats try to prove to him why they deserve a chance at a new life. Because they do heroic acts and believe they've earned a second life. Or because they're so old and have done good things in their lives that they might deserve it too."

Andy opened his mouth to ask why the story stops for Deuteronimy to get kidnapped but stopped himself. He just nodded,"Okay."

"All these cats gave wonderful stories, except Grizabella the glamor cat. Nobody likes her. No one wants to touch her."

"Touch?"

"Well, when cats welcome other cats. They kinda rub against each other or sniff them. They're touched. No one wants to touch her."

"Okay?"

"She's all alone. She used to be loved for her beauty and glamor but it doesn't mean anything anymore. Now she's old and ugly." She bit her lip and started to cry.

"Angela?"

"She's ostracized. She's so lonely it hurts. She's been abandoned. If someone could just touch her and see how important she is then maybe she has a chance to live again but everyone hates her because she's just an old cat who's worthless." Her voice shook. Andy's eyes grew wide. Had she felt alone too? God he sounded like a jackass didn’t he?

"I'm sorry. I sound stupid don't I?"

"No, not at all." He wiped away a tear on her face with a handkerchief he had.

"But it's just a dumb musical about weird horny cats dancing around huh?" She said bitterly.

"Well, I still don't believe it's as good as Les Mis."

She looked down. "But, maybe I misunderstood CATS. It's not traditional but it's not terrible. I mean, I have to admit the music is wonderful and I guess the world building is pretty cool."

"It's inspired by a poem you know."

"Oh. Oh! That would explain a lot." He bit his lip pensively. "Maybe I should give it another chance." Her eyes lit up.

"Really??" She smiled at him.

"Yeah, sure. Maybe I'll stop trying to criticize it and just enjoy it." She rushed to her feet, put her cassette tape of CATS and sat by Andy again. The storytelling was still odd to him but it was more enjoyable than he believed it to be. Maybe Musicals didn't need to be all smart and philosophical to be good after all.

[pookiesmcbride]

i wanted to rant about something i was just thinking about after reading Melissas thoughts about carol pretty much repressing her feelings for him and refusing herself to rly have him in the “waking world”

the practically canon idea that she’s been repressing feelings is interesting, it definitely makes me think that she won’t be making the first move here if she’s convinced herself so powerfully that she can’t have him. “what do you wanttt what do you wantt” mind-alpha tells her, and she can’t even admit it to herself. we rly did get a lot of insight into carols brain this season !!

but with all that said, i think a lot of carylers have theorized that daryl would always be the one to make the first move and now it’s in PLAIN sight to me after this interview. idk if he’s been “repressing” per say bc i feel he’s worn his heart on his sleeve a LOT lately, but maybe it’s becoming disheartening to him that she doesn’t see what he’s rly thinking. i think of the acorn scene there- he feels he’s been so obvious, saying “it’s not like that, not at all” so matter of factly but she’s there asking “why not?” and he’s speechless. i imagine his brain is like “don’t you know why?” in that scene and it’s crazy to watch, imagine him getting the courage to actually spill that out😩

and with daryl all disheartened, frustrated further bc of carols actions, her ignoring him and his pursuit of showing her he cares, he’s got a lot on his mind. he hasn’t found the courage yet to let it all out and be honest, and obviously the easy thing is to avoid her and give up. i can see him taking that route in the beginning of this season, idk if he decides to get back w leah but it’s a short lived possibility, but even if he’s trying to “save her”, it’s another way to avoid the scary situation w carol. i think if they do get together, leah is going to start realizing that he’s not all in. his heart is somewhere else, and it’s a cz situation all over again. it might be me being hopeful, but i could maybe see leah pushing him to rly pursue what he wants? whether she sees him as a good man who deserves what he truly wants, or whether it’s unintentional and some sort of dangerous situation w her makes him realize he’s been foolish, if that makes sense. but either way, i think he’s going to come to the conclusion that HE has been the one running from her, and i think time away from carol is going to make her start wondering if she should be more forward too. but in the end, daryl will ultimately be the one to take that step, and i think carol will be in the right space at that point to really internalize his words.

anyways this interview is living absolutely rent free in my head and i keep rereading it, getting more and more excited for this season. i hope others are feeling the same way, im holding out hope that angela knows our babies🥺❤️

[jasperwhitcock]

hello, ive noticed that my feed has been super dry lately even though I follow lots of people and i think it’s because a lot of fans have left tumblr :( and i follow people from different timezones so when I’m asleep my feed is full but when I’m awake it’s just *crickets* so can you please recommend me active twilight blogs, preferably who go by PST, please? im on tumblr 24/7 cause i need distractions lol also throwback to pre-midnight sun release when twilight tumblr was hella active and there was so much content :( i miss that

only the strong remain 💔 alright here is my twilight blog starter kit follow list. some of my fave blogs, the blogs i see most often on my dash, my bffs even if they’re on hiatus, etc. i’ll try to note their time zones if i’m sure of them bc if i’m wrong that’d be so embarrassing fhjshfjsf if u want to dm or reply w ur time zone i’ll update this post!

PST/MST: @paulxlahotee (wolfpack content, a cutie, will make u earrings that make u feel like a bad bitch) @the-golden-onion (a literal angel from heaven above i truly adore mads w my entire heart she got u on mike newton & mr. molina content) @cullen-collective (esme if smeyer wrote her to have a sense of humor and witty tongue. will take u under her wing and sing to u) @phil-dwyer-stan-account (hiatus but pls ask her astrology questions she will explain to u why u are the way that u are), @lemonadebottlecap (idek remember what it was but one of her tags made me LAUGH so much the other day), @edytheelizabethcullen (alex is the sweetest, u must follow),

CST: @howlonghaveyoubeenseventeen (JACOB/WOLFPACK CONTENT, truly EVERYBODY’S friend, the sweetest person, pls send her pics of cute dogs)

EST: @kaquiche (funny, friendly, twilight video editing QUEEN, will be ur bff in 2 seconds), @bellaskhakis (cursed content, a demon, my greatest enemy, ok i’m kidding she will be so sweet to u but once u get close she will roast tf out of u we are like sisters), @teamjacobthot (wolfpack content, dij is probably the coolest person u will meet on this site), @bellasredchevy (kae is the god of the renaissance idk what else to say besides that bc this is a proven fact i adore her & her witty humor), @inthemiddleofmymidnight (that’s my best friend she’s a real bad bitch i love kim not a single post fucking misses), @swanresidence (CUTIE, she got JOKES she been making me laugh so much in my dms), @leahclearwaterdefensesquad (LEAH CONTENT/wolfpack content, kate has my heart), @volturialice i will forever be in love w g she is the mother i never had, she is the sister everybody would want she is the friend that everybody deserves i don’t know a better person, alice/fanfic content), @bellas-dumptruck-ass (i will never not giggle at this url but elaine is sososo funny but also so smart, always making POINTS), @renegadepack (wolfpack content, aaron is a tru must follow)

GMT: i think they’re GMT if i’m wrong i am deleting this whole post and my own blog in embarrassment: @carllisle @notquitetwilight / @stillnotquitetwilight (literally the chaos twins that people headcanon emmett & bella to be, they are putting out the best & also maybe the most cursed content rn), @carlislesscarf (they keep my dash alive), @witchyangela / @incorrectwolfpack (a tru angel, wolfpack/angela content)

IDK THE TIME ZONE: @stregoni-benefici (also responsible for keeping my dash alive, a cutie w lots of esme/carlisle content), @iknowyouloveme-thanks (literally the funniest memes), @su-angelvicioso (if u want maria content look no further), @rosaalee alex & bri are a package deal so u must follow bri too, moodboard content), @ohyoudosmellgood (omg i just realized i think i need to dm u back we have literally been having the same conversation for like three months we suck, an angel, carlesme content), @influenzabella (if ur looking for active, i always see influenzabella on my dash!!!) as well as @rose-lily-hale (CST) @redeyedsaint @twilightofficial @khakiskirtslut @edwardssnail (EST) they give me something to look at daily i adore u all thank u for ur service, twilight veterans that were here before my time and ain’t going nowhere post midnight sun craze, post the end of the world: @panlight @edwardsvirginity