#she couldn’t hold out just one more week??? i feel so sick and upset and terrible and guilty

[sharkieboi]

maybe it’s just the grief but i’m probably gonna end up adopting a dog sometime soon arent i

[flemingsfreckles]

Trying Again Part 2

Jessie Fleming x Reader

Preview: Read Part 1, based off this suggestion, basically this fic just goes through what each month looked like for reader and Jessie once they learned they were expecting.

Warnings: pregnancy fic, morning sickness, discussion of labor/birth (again nothing graphic), suggestive, mentions of sex (nothing explicit), cursing

WC: 3.0k

A/N: this isn’t necessarily a part 2, but it’s kind of a continuation of Trying Again, walking through each month of pregnancy, I’m just labeling it Part 2 because that makes more sense than it being its own fic

Month 1

You nearly miss month 1 just not knowing. You didn’t take the pregnancy test until you were about 3 weeks along. Once you found out Jessie immediately assumed the role of overly prepared parent.

She came home the day after you had given her the positive test with a couple massive shopping bags.

“What on earth did you buy?” You asked her when you saw the pile of bags.

“Just some things. I’ll show you.” She proceeded to unload baby book after baby book on every topic. Books on pregnancy, books on supporting your partner through pregnancy, books on the actual birth process, books on the baby’s first year, books on how to raise a teenager. It was safe to say she had gotten ahead of herself but you couldn’t even fault her. The way she showed you each one with such excitement in her eyes and voice was adorable.

The next bag was filled with other baby items, blankets, clothes, pacifiers, stuffed animals, and a tiny pair of Nike shoes.

“Jessie, the baby will wear those for all of 5 minutes before they fall off and they outgrow them.”

“I know but they’re just so cute and little.” She grinned at the shoes, holding them in her hands. “I can’t believe our baby is going to be this small.”

Month 2

Month two was filled with morning sickness. Jessie is a saint, getting up with you every time, bringing you water and new clothes. She’d gather your hair in her hand, holding it away from your face. She’d get your toothbrush set up with toothpaste and hand it to you once you were done throwing up. She’d help you shower if you wanted to feel refreshed and then she’d tuck you into bed, making sure you were comfortable with a fresh glass of water next to your bedside. She’d hold you tight, in whatever position made you the most comfortable.

Your hormones were starting to jump to extremes. Jessie found you crying on the couch one day over a sock. To be fair to you, the socks didn’t have a match and that upset you deeply. She had held you on the couch while your hand clutched the sock tightly, rubbing your back gently. She then went and found the missing sock. You got angry quickly, she hadn’t told you she was stopping at the store to grab you some snacks and when she got home, later than she had told you to expect her you had been at the door yelling at her. Of course you apologized and also cried when she explained she had just gotten you a little surprise, the basket she held out to you containing snacks, new slippers, some bubble bath, and some baby clothes. You felt guilty for yelling, but you were irritable, tired, and just relatively in a bad mood.

Month two was also when you told your teams. The Chelsea girls first followed by the Lionesses and Canada. Everyone was naturally excited and thrilled for you and Jessie. Niamh was your biggest supporter beside your wife, she was with you on both teams and was Jessie’s eyes and ears when she couldn’t be with you. The girl would get up with you when you got sick, offering you water. She checked in during training, making sure you weren’t feeling ill.

You also both told your families at this time, Jessie’s sister the most excited out of anyone, quick to claim the role of “best aunt”. You were overwhelmed with everyone’s excitement about your baby, you knew they would be so loved by your families both biological and your chosen families you had created.

Month 3

Month three was similar to month two. Your morning sickness continued and Jessie continued to be your biggest support throughout. Your body began to feel more fatigued, you were sleepy all the time, doing nothing but training and sleeping. Jessie cuddled up with you on the couch after training, scratching your back or your scalp. The tiredness also led to more mood swings, you were angry one moment and then crying and then crying tears of joy. Jessie handled it all with grace, you knew you were being a terrible person to her and she didn’t deserve it, but growing a human was a lot of work and it took a huge toll on your body.

Training was becoming harder. Your clothes start to fit differently, your breasts becoming sore that it hurts to run around for long periods of time no matter the sports bra you wore. You were still irritable, the early morning wake ups to be sick did nothing to help your mood. You started to have weird cravings and changes in the foods you liked and disliked.

You had woken up from a nap one afternoon to Jessie cooking what used to be your favorite meal, however when she placed it in front of you, it repulsed you. When Jessie asked you why you weren’t eating it you had to tell her you didn’t want what she made. Jessie of course took no offense to your disgust, getting up from her own plate to immediately start cooking you something else. You cried when she handed you a new meal, overwhelmed with her cooperation and kindness toward you. She just kissed you and told you she’d do anything for you.

It wasn’t an easy month, maybe the worst out of the whole pregnancy but with Jessie’s help and support you made it through, day by day and night by night.

Month 4

Month four was when things settled, your morning sickness started to fade, happening less and less frequently. Month four however was the time when you and your doctor decided it was time to slow down with training and playing. It was a hard couple of days, realizing you were about to take a break from the one constant in your life, but Chelsea was great about it. You still attended the end of season practices and games, just with less and less involvement until you were solely on the sidelines.

You had also developed the sex drive that was through the roof. Jessie would breathe in your direction and you were ready to jump her bones. Jessie couldn’t complain too much about this side effect, she was getting laid everyday. It was fun for her for the first few days. Then she was starting to cramp in her forearms, fingers, her jaw, all sore from the pleasure she was providing you. Her own sex drive was also not affected by hormones; she just wasn’t always in the mood for multiple rounds of sex, every day, but she happily gave you what you needed, often for nothing in return.

Niamh had poked fun to Jessie when the two of you walked in and Jessie looked exhausted while you were grinning ear to ear.

“Long night again?” She bumped Jessie with her shoulder as you walked ahead to your locker.

“Oh my god Niamh, this time it was before bed, then twice in the middle of the night when we were both awake, and then again this morning. My body can only handle so much. I’m sore. I’m sore, from sex!”

“Oh boo hoo Fleming, god forbid your wife wants you to fuck her an insane amount.”

Jessie blushed at Niamh vulgarity. “I know Niamh, and I love her, and she’s literally growing my child, so of course I want to give her everything she needs and wants. And I love having sex with her, but oh my god a person can only take so much, it’s like the second week of this too.”

“Then get something to help.” Niamh shrugged, hoping to help her friend while not upsetting you.

To solve her own pain, Jessie went out and bought you a couple new toys that the two of you could share while preserving her muscles. You were plenty satisfied with the new purchases, enjoying them with Jessie. Jessie was satisfied that she was able to go about her daily tasks and not have her fingers or forearm cramp up on her.

Month 5

This was the month you found out the gender of your baby. You had gone to the doctor to get an ultrasound, when you told the technician you didn’t want to know the gender right away they sealed the reveal in an envelope for the two of you to take and open on your own time. You then gave that envelope off to Magda and Pernille as they were in town, allowing them to set up your gender reveal. They weren’t around as much, you and Jessie had been close with them on Chelsea and wanted them to have a role in your pregnancy. When you asked them to help with this they were ecstatic. You didn’t want anything too crazy or over the top. They had set up a small gathering, you, Jessie, Niamh, Zerica, with Pernille and Magda hosting what made up your small Chelsea family. They had cooked everyone a dinner, making it a nice evening, in addition to the gender reveal.

They had made a cake, covered in a white frosting, the inside cake was dyed pink or blue. You were so excited seeing the cake, you had asked for something simple and not over the top, that’s exactly what they had given you, and it was cake, you loved cake. You and Jessie both held the knife as you cut a slide into the cake while everyone else stood watching, Magda and P watching your and Jessie’s faces, already knowing the gender they didn’t need to watch the knife the way that the rest of you were.

You had burst into tears when you pulled the knife out and the pink tint frosting and cake crumbs clung to the knife. Magda and P both looked horrified at your reaction, not knowing what happened while Jessie, Niamh, and Z laughed. The three of them having a front row seat to your emotional swings everyday at training. Jessie gently rubbed your back through your emotions.

“I’m so happy. I promise.” You really didn’t care what your baby was, you would’ve been an emotional wreck boy or girl. “I’m just so excited.”

Niamh takes the cake and knife away from you, going to cut it up and serve it to everyone. You dry your tears and Z pulls you into a big hug.

“I’m going to make her a keeper.” She whispers to you. “Don’t tell the rest of them.” You laugh into her hug.

Month 6

You were laying on the couch after a long day of doing hardly anything, but everything felt exhausting these days. You couldn’t sleep on your stomach like you usually did. Sleeping on your back was anything but comfortable, and your side wasn’t much better. Your legs hurt, your ankles hurt, your feet hurt, everything was miserable.

You often would just lay on the couch after you and Jessie returned home from training, her practicing, you watching and coaching. Jessie would lay next to you, her hands always finding their way to your belly, gently holding it, drawing circles, she’d lean in, placing her lips to your bump kissing it gently and softly speaking to the baby.

“You’re going to be so loved, you already are so loved. I can’t wait to meet you.”

Jessie had already told the baby about how you two met, all about your first date, how you proposed to her and how she proposed back, she talked about your wedding, she told the baby everything.

Jessie was resting next to you, her ear pressed against your belly as she whispered to the baby, her hand gently caressing your skin. One thing about Jessie was she couldn’t keep her hands off your bump. She always asked to touch you and you always said yes but once you gave her permission, her hands would remain on you as long as she could.

“Hi baby girl”

That’s when you feel it and Jessie feels it. Your baby is kicking. It’s not painful but it’s uncomfortable as you feel the pressure from her foot inside of you.

“Babe?!” Jessie pulls her head from on your stomach, eyes wide in panic as she looks up at you.

“Did you feel that?” You weren’t sure if Jessie felt it outside of your stomach, you felt it inside.

“She kicked! Oh my god she kicked.”

“She kicked!” You exclaimed, bringing your hand back down to where the previous kick had been. Feeling the baby kick again. Jessie looks up at you, her eyes slightly teary.

“That’s our little girl.” Jessie says, her hand on your stomach still, a tear spilling over as she looks at you with love in her eyes. “Our baby.”

You baby kicks a few more times, each time you and Jessie look at each other with big smiles. “With a kick like that she’ll end up a striker like her mama.” Jessie says after one of the stronger kicks she gives you.

“We’ll see, Z said she’s making her a keeper.”

Month 7

You came home from a day out with your own mom to loud noises and voices coming from the extra bedroom that was set to become a nursery. You walk over to the doorway and see your wife, hammer in one hand, the other holding paper instructions. You look further into the room and Niamh, Sam and Zerica are all standing holding various pieces of wood and hardware.

They’re all silent, staring at you as you step into the room.

“You’re not supposed to be home yet!” Jessie looks up at you from the floor. She looks concerned at your early arrival.

“I know but I was starting to not feel great so I had my mom drop me home. What are you all doing?” You look between your three teammates and wife. You’re pretty sure you can figure out what they’re doing but ask anyway.

“It was supposed to be a surprise, we were getting the nursery ready.” Jessie explained to you.

“We’re building the crib.” Sam pipes in, she holds out the piece of wood she’s holding.

You walk further into the room, reaching over to grab some of the tools wanting to help out.

“No!” Jessie says as she bats your hand away from the tools. “Sit there.” She points to what you assume is a newly built rocking chair. “You can watch and yell at us, but no helping, you need rest.”

“Fine.” You sit down on the chair hesitantly, you trusted Jessie when it came to following instructions and building something correctly but you couldn’t say the same for the rest of your teammates. The chair held you, it was surprisingly comfortable. Niamh brought over an ottoman for your feet to rest on and they all got back to work. You watched as the previously empty room became filled with wall decorations and furniture. The girls would ask where you wanted certain pictures or items within the room, it was nice to be involved while not straining yourself too much.

Month 8

You have the baby during the eighth month. 8 months and 3 weeks and a day to be exact. She arrives a little early, no concern to your doctor but her slightly early arrival has Jessie stressing in the hospital room.

“Is it too soon?”

“Babe, the doctors said it’s practically like she’s coming at full term, it’s okay. She’s just 6 days early.” You’re nearly sick from watching Jessie pace laps back and forth across your room. Her hands are either in her hair, picking at her skin, or playing with her shirt, all nervous habits.

Unfortunately your labor was anything but easy. You had started contractions in the middle of the night, you and Jessie rushing to the hospital with nothing except the perfectly packed hospital bag your wife had made.

Despite the rough labor, Jessie was the most perfect partner to have during labor. She did well under stress, despite her earlier nerves once you were actually ready to have the baby she was level headed again. Jessie was attentive to you, bringing you ice chips, new blankets, rubbing your feet, rubbing your back. She was advocating for you whenever the opportunity arose. When you decided you wanted an epidural after trying to tough out the pain for 7 hours, she didn’t question you, she happily held your hand as the medicine was put in your back.

It wasn’t until 12 hours after you had gotten to the hospital that your baby girl made her arrival. Jessie let you squeeze her hand so hard you were convinced you were going to break it and she never complained once. She helped you by holding one of your legs as she pressed her forehead to yours, whispering words of encouragement and praise. She occasionally would look, wanting to see her baby girl despite her being adamant that she wasn’t going to look prior to arriving at the hospital, she was worried about getting queasy, she didn’t always do well with blood.

When your daughter finally came out crying they placed her quickly onto your bare chest quickly followed by a blanket.

“You’re incredible. That was amazing, I love you.” Jessie whispered with tears running down her face. Her eyes look between you and your daughter on your chest. You got to watch as Jessie cut the umbilical cord, a huge grin across her face.

Nurses then took your daughter, cleaned her up and swaddled her into a soft pink blanket. They come to hand back your daughter to you, you look over to your wife who’s patiently standing watching you, she hasn't yet gotten to hold your little girl.

“You want to hold her?” You ask and Jessie just nods at you. The nurse passes Jessie the bundle with your daughter wrapped inside.

You watch as Jessie holds your daughter for the very first time, you get emotional, tears welling up. Jessie looks up to you, her eyes matching yours, on the brink of tears.

“Thank you for making me a mom.”

[strrykais]

angel with a shotgun

idol : kim seungmin // stray kids song : angel with a shotgun - the cab warnings : none word count : 740

nervous did even cover the exact feelings you were feeling at this exact moment, dispatch got a hold of you and seungmin on a night out when you both were out together. seungmin wasn’t as upset as you were when the post went out, though both your fandoms supported each other, there were some where they weren't so happy someone like you was with seungmin.

they called you names, criticized your talent, and even went for your looks. it was a horrible week for you, seungmin tried reaching out to you, even stopping by your dorm, only for one of your members to tell him you didn't want to speak. you felt bad distancing yourself from him, but you thought this was the best course of action. 

fans can’t drag him down if you two aren't connected, so when the company a week later called you both in, to discuss what is best for both your images. you already knew that you were gonna get the short end of the stick, you and your group were only a few years in, with seungmin and stray kids dominating the charts. 

you sat picking at your nails avoiding eye contact with seungmin on the other side of you, you couldn’t face him, you never meant to get so swept up in this relationship with him. you wanted to keep it on the downlow for the sake of his career, but he wanted to shout it from every corner of the earth.

“can you please talk to me baby.” seungmin says reaching out to stop you from picking at the ripped skin around your nails. 

“they are gonna put me on hiatus, but what about you, your tour is coming up and your comeback. oh my god, imma feel sick, stay are gonna hate me more than they probably do. seungmin, i'm so sorry.” you rambled tears threatening to fall from your eyes.

seungmin sighs, reaching out to cup your face wiping the tears from your eyes. “you don’t need to be sorry baby, it takes two to tango. this is just as much my mess as it is yours. we can work through this but you have to want this. do you want me? us?” 

you nod as the door swings open, seungmin pulls his hands away from your face placing them into your hand giving you a squeeze. both your team management and a few other higher ups that you don't know the names of come in speaking over each other. 

“well it seems you two are actually the ones in the photos, and are together.” one of them say.

“it would have been nice to know, so we could get ahead of a story like this.” 

“we have two options, we can put out a statement stating that it is just two friends hanging out or we can confirm that you both are together.”

you turn to see seungmin deep in thought, then you glance to look at your manager.

"i think you should deny the claims of you dating, you are barely hitting the charts and dating isn't something that is gonna help. you know how it is out there.” your manager speaks out, her face held sympathy for the both of you. you knew she was right, but it hurt to realize that you could probably never date someone who could make you happy out in the open.

“and if we want to confirm it.” seungmin says, squeezing your hand, staring out at them.

“i - uhh seungmin are you sure?” his manager stutters over the fact.

“yes, what happens after we confirm it.”

“well we will do everything in our power to protect you online, threats and what not.” his management states.

“what about her and her group?” seungmin says nodding to you as you sit quietly watching him.

“you are our main priority, your fanbase is much bigger than hers, you need extra protection.”

“no give it to yn, yes my fanbase is bigger but they wont attack me, you will do everything in your power to protect her online, as i will do everything in my power to protect her here.”  

“okay we hear you we will draft up a response, but you know this is gonna be a very bumpy road you both are traveling down.”

“yes and i will do everything to make sure we come out unbreakable.” seungmin says, smiling down at you.

1k extravaganza

ⓒstrrykais

[klausysworld]

Hoping to get a little ask in…

Klaus and YN were in a f**k buddies, YN gets pregnant and is upset when Klaus is an ass about it. But YN is heartbroken when she walks into Klaus room to find him painting and a naked (covered in bed sheet) Cami.

Thanks so much

A life i do not deserve

Part 2

It hadn’t exactly been in mind to get pregnant when i slept with Klaus. He’s a vampire he isn’t meant to be able to have children. But apparently being only half hybrid has its extra ‘perks’. We’ve had a ‘friends with benefits’ kinda situation going on for a a while before i fell pregnant and i hate to admit it but i was gaining feeling but i could have sworn he was too, there was certain gentleness he would have sometimes, a specific look in his eye you know?

Then witches took me and we found out i was pregnant…with his kid. I won’t lie i wasn’t exactly over the moon, i was terrified and sick to my stomach with nerves. When Klaus found out i, for some reason, thought he might have said something, anything reassuring. Yeah, no. He flipped out, i was a liar, a slut that would sleep with anyone who was desperate enough to have me and i probably couldn’t even remember the fathers name. I don’t think i’ve ever cried harder, in front of Klaus, his brother and a witch, the overwhelming combination of the news and then the person i had finally come to actually understand telling me how disgusting and worthless i am to him just pushed me over the edge.

He left me and our child for dead before eventually returning. By the time he came to bring me home i was in an emotionless state. I refused to speak to him and wouldn’t let him touch me.

Over the next few months he had apologised many times and i decided it was best to move on from the issue, we were going to be parents after all. Plus the small fact that i did still long for him and everything in my heart screamed to forgive him. i knew he was struggling with the adjustment to his life as well, he just went for anger instead of distress.

Besides over that time we’ve had many sweet moments, he could be very kind when he wanted to be. I still hoped that he may see me as more one day. He would give my head a soft kiss and rub my bump in a loving manner. We were going to be a family.

I thought we could be a happy family…

But then he had to fuck his therapist.

I had just got back to our home, my bump was much bigger now as i was nearly 7 months pregnant. I had gone out to collect the decorations Klaus had picked for our baby’s new room, he had insisted we get it ready asap and i couldn’t argue. We designed and got it set up over the past few weeks.

I had just made a few extra adjustments to the baby room before going to Klaus’s room but he wasn’t in there. What was however was a bra and panties set. They were definitely not mine. I could feel my heart breaking as my breath caught in my throat and i opened his art room door.

I’m almost certain he could actually hear my heart shatter as i took in the scene before me. Camille. The blonde psychologist was completely naked on his art sofa, a sofa that they had spent time on in the past. Another girl was sprawled out with her tits on full display, a scrap of a bedsheet covering her most private area. And Klaus he was painting her. He only painted people when he had taken an interest, he told me that when he painted me. Everything he had shared with me was a game. The pregnancy ruined his game.

I took a step back and immediately he was stood in front of me, i could feel the tears streaming down my face, my chest aching as my mind yelled at me to leave. I couldn’t hear a thing he was saying, though i could see the panic in his eyes as he hands came to hold my arms. The second he touched me i let out a sob, my head shaking and my feet carrying me out the compound as fast as possible.

“y/n! stop running, love please!” he was grabbing me again, hands that had been all over another woman’s body, possibly inside another woman’s body. I was gonna be sick.

“get off me right now or i swear i will leave and never come back, you don’t even want this child and it’s clear you don’t want me so i don’t know why you’re bothering in trying to convince me otherwise” my voice was shaky and pain was obvious as i spoke.

“that wasn’t anything, she’s nobody, you’re carrying our baby, our baby that i love, you know that i love our child, you mean so much to m-“

“you’re such a fucking liar Klaus! This entire time i was afraid you still thought i was a stupid whore but it turns out I’ve been living with one this whole time while lugging around his kid, a kid you wanted to leave for dead, i forgave you and you said that we could be a family” my heart was basically on the floor at this point

“i can’t live here anymore. i’m leaving, i don’t know where i’m going but i’m not staying with you, you keep your filthy hands off of me and you stay away from my child. Do as you please, when you please but do not expect me to come crawling back to you, begging at your feet for a life that i do not deserve”

i practically ran to my car, the car that he had bought me, and drove to a hotel, i would sleep this off and think of a clear plan when i was in a better headspace

[threeletterslife]

36 | Legends of Darlaria

⨰ summary: You wake up in yet another unfamiliar place. This time, however, these strangers seem to recognize you. With your previous judgments and aspirations thrown out the window, you're now forced to face where your loyalties really lie. Who will you betray? And which General will you choose to stand by his side?

⨰ pairing/rating: yoongi x reader & jungkook x reader | PG-15

⨰ genre: 70% angst, 30% fluff | war!au & magic!au

⨰ warnings: profanity, brief mentions of blood and injuries

⨰ wordcount: 3.4k

⨰ join the taglist! (pm/send in an ask/reply/reblog)

⨰ previous | series m.list | next

⧖⧗Many, Many Circas Ago⧗⧖

Fighting for your nation should be an honor. And after training in the castle grounds for nearly five years, you were supposedly more than prepared to go to war. Graduation was only a week away.

You hoped it was normal to feel nervous about serving your nation, but then again, your level of discomfort seemed to surpass any ordinary level of nervosity. You’d been unable to get up from your bed, calling in sick from training for the past two days. Any food you consumed didn’t want to stay down. You were constantly ensconced in your thick covers, alone with your thoughts and as a result, spiraling quite intensely. 

When the covers managed to suffocate you more than your thoughts, you allowed your head to peek out momentarily to breathe in fresh air. Before you slipped back under your sheets, however, you caught sight of the swirling canvas up on your ceiling. The shades of purple thread undulated in hypnotic movements that you could not discern. It was frustrating, knowing that the readings of the future were just above you, yet in a language you were unfamiliar with. The threads mocked you, reminded you of your lack of skill in divination, and evoked memories of your disappointed parents. 

Hajin sensed your low spirits, and though she wasn’t sure why you were so upset, she thankfully didn’t ask any questions. Instead, she did her best to cheer you up.

“Hey, let’s check out the tunnels again before we leave! Ooh, I know! Then, we’ll have a delicious deviled egg feast! Come on, come, Y/N, let’s go!”

Through the tunnels, she took you to the 1st city, which was really the last place you wanted to go, yet you didn’t have it in you to tell her.

“You see all those soldiers?” Hajin asked, giddy with excitement. “We’re going to be one of them! We’ll get to wear their fancy uniforms! And you’ll get to be closer to Jungkook,” she teased with a wink. 

You tried to smile, but out of the corner of your eye, you spotted a soldier limping away on a bandaged-up leg. Fresh blood seeped through the white gauze, and more spots blossomed with each pained step they took. You saw a soldier vomiting up her lunch as another soldier held her hair out of the way. Both were holding back tears. A crowd of medics passed by in front of the bush you and Hajin were hiding behind, carrying an unrecognizably burned person on a stretcher. Something told you that they weren’t on the way to the infirmary. 

You looked away.

Hajin frowned at your silence. “You’re nervous,” she said.

You nodded, though nervosity was only scratching the surface.

Hajin grasped your hands, squeezing them tightly. “It’s okay,” she said in her most soothing, grownup voice. “You and I are in this together! I’d climb Guseul’s Hill for you, Y/N. Without hesitation and a thousand times over if I had to.” She grinned. “We’re going to march into this damn city next week, and we’re going to kick some Solarian ass! Are you with me?”

You couldn’t say no, not to Hajin’s face, so you faked a smile. “Of course I am,” you said, squeezing her hands back. “I’d climb Guseul’s Hill for you, too, Hajin. I’ll always be with you.” This was the truth.

“Damn right!” Hajin said, letting go of your hands to pump a fist in the air. “Now, come on, let’s get back to the 12th city. Our deviled eggs are waiting!”

With Hajin’s coaxing, you managed to stay out of sulking in bed for the next few days. It was easier to pretend things were okay when you realized you couldn’t possibly screw up your best friend’s dream of marching into the 1st city with you. So you ate deviled eggs and explored the tunnels and kept a pleasing smile on your face, though you felt like crumbling on the inside.

Jungkook wasn’t so easily fooled by your mask of emotions. When he came back to the 12th city under orders from General Son, you greeted him with a wide smile while Hajin gave him an annoyed eye roll, but she failed to hide the grin on her face. Jungkook’s gaze shifted to your fingers tugging frantically at your necklace. 

Something wrong? he tapped discreetly in monocode.

I’m fine, you tapped back.

But you weren’t. Because it was three days before graduation. And now there was another thing to worry about.

You’re not fine, Jungkook responded. You’re nervous about being called into the throne room.

He could read you so well.

Don’t worry. I’m sure General Son and the king have nothing but good news for us.

You hoped that was true.

You always knew Jungkook had nerves of steel. You wished you could learn a thing or two from him in that regard, but it was difficult to, considering that yours and his presence have been requested by both the Darlaean General and King. Even now, you weren’t sure how Jungkook wasn’t nervous, standing before these two men weathered and wisened by tragedy and the burden of leadership. You couldn’t imagine this being about good news.

But perhaps it was the divinist in Jungkook who knew all along what this conversation was supposed to be about. 

“My daughter, my near son-in-law,” Hoseok said. “Thank you for coming at such short notice.”

General Son stood behind him, watching quietly.

“I do hope we did not make you nervous, calling for you at such an odd time, only three days before your graduation, Y/N,” Hoseok continued. “But time is of the essence. In three days, I will be alone in this grand castle, with the last of my family 11 cities away.” Hoseok paused, only to smile quite proudly at you and Jungkook. You tried hard to hide the confusion from manifesting in your expression.

“Taegi tells me that the two of you are quite talented,” Hoseok said. “He has called you time and time again, the future leaders of the army, though he wouldn’t approve of the fact that I’m now sharing this with you. He prefers to keep his compliments to himself.”

General Son gave no discernible reaction, though you noticed a slight twitch of his left eye.

“You must be puzzled with where I might be going with this,” Hoseok said. “But I am humbly asking you for a favor.”

“A favor,” you repeated quietly. This time, you couldn’t hide the confusion on your face.

“Yes, my dear,” Hoseok said. “I am beseeching the two of you, not as a royal subject but as a father.”

Hajin’s face immediately flashed in your mind.

“You’d like us to protect your daughter,” Jungkook said. 

But of course. It made sense now.

Hoseok smiled. “Hajin is… eager,” he said. “Sometimes a little too eager, and I must admit in confidentiality that she is not quite up to par with the two of you yet.”

That hurt hearing this come from Hajin’s own father.

“We’ll look out for her on the battlefield, Your Majesty,” Jungkook said without missing a beat. “I’ll do everything in my power to protect the Princess of Darlae.”

As much as you thought Hajin was perfectly capable of protecting herself, you didn’t want to risk losing a friend you considered a sister. Her father was only doing this because he loved his daughter—the last heir of the Jung Dynasty. He’d do anything to ensure her safety, even if it meant deploying Hajin’s two closest friends to secretly protect her, despite that might hurting her pride. It would truly break Hajin’s heart if she found out. But she’d still be alive.

“I’ll protect Hajin as if my life depended on it,” you said. “I promise.”

Hoseok looked relieved at your and Jungkook’s overwhelmingly positive responses, yet the relief failed to erase the dark circles sagging under his eyes. It pained you to think that he lost sleep over worrying about his daughter going to war.

“You don’t have to worry,” you said. “I’ll ask her to write to you often, and we’ll come visit when we can.” Somehow, attempting to solace another helped you momentarily forget about your own worries.

“That would be lovely, my dear,” Hoseok said, smiling at you with kind eyes. “Thank you. Both of you. But remember, though I ask of you to protect Hajin, never cease to protect yourselves. The two of you are the future of Darlae.”

“Thank you, Your Majesty.” Jungkook beamed brightly next to you. “We won’t disappoint you.”

You could only smile nervously.

“Ah, well, that was what I wanted to discuss with you today,” Hoseok said. “Although Taegi has a few things he wanted to say that he believed would sound better coming from him than me.” 

You’d nearly forgotten General Son had been in the room. But here he was, stepping out from behind Hoseok, his face neutral despite the king’s teasing. “You heard from Hoseok what I think of the two of you.” He gave you and Jungkook equally long looks. “This means that I will train you even harder. I will expect even more of the two of you. Do you understand?”

“Yes, sir!” you and Jungkook chimed in unison out of habit.

“Good, good,” he said. “I’m sure you already know, Private Jungkook, that the war is not a playground.” He stared at you, though it really felt like he was peering into your soul. “Cadet, there are no ranking boards out there and surely no second chances. You must do things correctly the first time or die. That is the reality of the war. You will shed your youth as you shed your cadet title in three days.” 

Suddenly, your worries rushed back. A deep, hollow pit began growing in your stomach.

“Oh, Taegi, don’t scare your best soldiers, now,” Hoseok laughed, but General Son didn’t respond. He only stared at you, which made you want to shrink, run back under your covers and stay there until graduation.

Even after you and Jungkook had been dismissed, you couldn’t stop thinking about General Son’s words, replaying them in his gruff voice over and over again in your head.

You must do things correctly the first time or die. 

You recalled the limping soldier, his face twisting in pain every time he dragged his injured leg forward, new splots of dark red blood appearing on the snowy white gauze.

That is the reality of the war. 

This time, you saw the vomiting soldier on the verge of tears. She was holding her stomach, doubled over as she hacked the contents of her breakfast.

You will shed your youth as you shed your cadet title in three days.

The vision of the completely incinerated body on the stretcher flashed in your mind.

You couldn’t bear it, and so you covered your face with your hands, pressing your fingers hard against your forehead as if that would erase the vivid images from your head.

“You have a lot on your mind,” Jungkook said softly. You were lying on the bed, face covered, and he was sitting at the edge, flipping the page of a strategy book he’d picked up a couple of hours ago. “Was it what General Son said today?”

“I guess…” You kept your face covered. “I’m just… I’m so nervous.”

Jungkook set his book down. “You have nothing to be nervous about.”

But that wasn’t true at all. Most of your life—ever since you began your studies at Botswana—you’ve been told that you were talented. So much so that you were beginning to believe it. But being talented didn’t mean you were invincible. If you were set on fire, you would still die a slow, painful death. Just like everybody else. Just like the soldier burned to a crisp on the stretcher. And if it wasn’t you on the stretcher, you’d still have to witness the flames on the battlefield kill your comrades. You’d come back to the 1st city vomiting and never being able to keep your food in your stomach. Or you’d come back with scars, an unwalkable leg and trauma that would never go away until you were inevitably scorched to death.

“I won’t let anyone hurt you out here,” Jungkook whispered as if reading your thoughts. 

You shook your head, your hands coming away from your face. “You’re going to be a hell of a lot busy then, Private, protecting both me and the crown princess.”

“I can handle it, cadet,” he said with a gentle smile. 

There was a small pause.

“I know you’re scared,” Jungkook said. “You shouldn’t be.” He leaned back to place a gentle hand over yours. 

He knew. Perhaps he knew all along. It was fear that ate your insides, that made you unable to climb out of bed, that made you want to stay in the security of the 12th city. It was fear that was holding you back from becoming your nation’s pride. It was also fear that made honoring your nation simply not worth the trouble. He knew you so well that there was no use hiding it anymore. 

“I can’t help it,” you replied, feeling your insides twist. “I’m not like you, Jungkook. I can’t just… go to war because my superior told me to. I mean, I have to, and in three days, I will… But I…” You had to stop yourself from speaking because you could feel tears welling up in your eyes.

“Don’t cry,” Jungkook said, using his free hand to wipe away your tears before they rolled down your face. “Sometimes I think you’re too kind for the war, Y/N.”

“Maybe I am,” you whispered. “No,” you said, shaking your head. “I’m a coward. I’m scared of death, Jungkook. No, I’m scared of the process of death on that battlefield. I’m scared of being in pain. I’m scared of living the last few seconds of my life in panic, in agony, in fear. I-I… I think I’m more scared of getting hurt than inflicting that pain on someone else. I haven’t been sleeping and eating because I’ve been so scared. I haven’t even graduated yet! It’s so pathetic.” More tears rolled down your face. You caught them with the sleeve of your gown. “I don’t deserve to be a soldier.” 

Much less be the future of Darlae.

Jungkook didn’t respond for a long time. But you knew he was only thinking of the right thing to say. He wasn’t the best at sugarcoating his words, but he tried very hard to do it for you. He held onto your hand tightly, rubbing his thumb over your skin. Finally, he spoke.

“Well, we need you.”

Your lips parted, but no sound came out.

“The army needs a talented alchemist like you,” Jungkook said, gently. “You think others aren’t scared?” he asked. “They march into that damn field despite their fear, despite their cowardliness, despite their wishes to run back to safety. They do it for their nation, for their loved ones, hell, even for themselves. So do it for something, Y/N. Do it to make a difference. Maybe to fucking win the war once and for all.”

Your eyes sparkled with tears. “Jungkook…”

“You’ve always been altruistic,” he said. “Let that fuel you. Feel the fear but don’t let it consume you entirely.”

It was moments like these that made you realize you were talking to the future General of the Darlaean Army. 

“Do you ever get scared?” you asked.

“No,” Jungkook said—short and simple.

“Not even of death?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know what will happen after I die, but I don’t really care,” he said. “So I might as well live without fear.”

You wished you could share that sentiment. But the truth was, you were a coward. You couldn’t understand what General Son saw in you to think you could be a future leader of the army. Even if you were a decent alchemist, it didn’t matter if you could barely hold yourself together even thinking about the atrocities war could bring. Your fear of pain was rooted in conceited self-preservation, which had no room in military leadership.

“I know you’re doubting yourself again,” Jungkook said.

Your thoughts halted.

“You shouldn’t,” he said gently. “The Y/N I know is resilient. She always finds a way. And besides, I’ll be your extra pair of eyes, though I doubt you’ll need it.”

Just a bit of your anxiety began melting away. “Jungkook…”

“You and I both know that you’re the best alchemist the Training Corps has seen in decades,” he replied. “The nation needs to see your talent. And if you’re too shy for that, then at least know that one day your talent will change Darlae for good.”

You glanced nervously upward at the swirling pools of thread on the canvas above you. “Did the divination charm tell you that?”

“No.” Jungkook smiled. “I can just feel it. Can’t you?”

You weren’t so sure.

As if to make matters worse, the day before graduation, General Son found you staring up at the night sky in the castle orchards. You hadn’t expected him to be taking a nighttime stroll, much less around the orchards, but then again, you weren’t really a divinist.

“You don’t seem very excited about your graduation, cadet.” General Son broke the silence.

You didn’t know how to respond. Instead, you rose from the grass and saluted. “Sir.”

“At ease,” he said. “A lot on your mind, I presume?”

You weren’t sure how to respond without lying or going down the rabbit hole of your embarrassing fears.

“I did tell you six circas ago that things will only get harder from here,” General Son said, quirking his brow. “I hope it hasn’t already started.”

“Just a bit, sir,” you managed to say. “Though most of it’s self-inflicted.”

General Son did not pry. Instead, he allowed silence as he stared up at the fruit trees, his silver epaulets shining in the moonlight. Then, he spoke. “Do you know what it takes to be the General of an entire army?”

You stared at him. “L-Logistically, yes, sir. B-But… I also know that no book can ever teach me what it is truly like to be the General of an army. So no. I admit that I do not know what it takes.”

General Son raised an eyebrow. “You will have private lessons with me every other day now, cadet,” he said. “I will be at my temporary office in the 1st city for most days of the week, and on the weekends, we will travel to the 12th to continue your studies. I hope that this will help you understand what it takes to run an army.”

You completely froze in place.

Was he saying what you thought he was saying? It was too much to digest. In fact, it was simply impossible. There was no way he could ever think that you could become the Darlaean General. Not when someone like Jungkook existed. Somehow, he’d predicted this, too. You remember so clearly now: I may have the traits, but I’m not what General Son is looking for. He had been strangely… jealous? disappointed? that ostensibly, General Son was more fond of you than him, which you didn’t even think was true… Until perhaps now. But it didn’t make sense. How could you be what General Son was looking for? You, who cried uncontrollably at the mere thought of war? You, who Jungkook had to console?

“S-Sir, I’m still just a cadet—” 

“I was a cadet once too,” General Son said. “But talent is talent, it doesn’t matter who wields it.”

But what about Jungkook? you wanted to say. Forget about me. He would be so much better.

“Train like you’re already the General of the Darlaean Army,” General Son told you. His cold, black eyes stared you down. Clearly, denial was not an option. “Fight like you’re already commanding thousands of soldiers,” he said. “Do you understand?”

You couldn’t, but you said yes anyway.

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⨰ a/n: it's been a while! thanks for getting to the end of this much-delayed chapter. in terms of updates, there will be one every month/every two months. sorry for leaving for so long :') hope you enjoyed <3 it starts getting pretty real from here on out

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[dellalyra]

𝙗𝙪𝙞𝙡𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙗𝙡𝙤𝙘𝙠𝙨 - 𝘧𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘺 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴

Summary: The early days of pregnancy are taking it’s toll. Thanks, Akio.

A/N: my darling doll @soraya-daydreams coming in clutch again with the bestest ideas.

CW: pregnancy, vomiting, sweetness, fluffy

Taglist? Taglist.

The toilet in your office had become your best friend in the last couple of weeks, seeing that you felt like you spent more time with it than your husband. You were only 10 weeks pregnant, but the morning sickness of your first trimester was kicking your ass to the moon and back. Also, calling it morning sickness is a lie.

It was 24/7 sickness. You found that eating small amounts often helped keep your stomach settled. Satoru had been fretting over you, fussing and driving Shoko insane, no matter how much you tried to convince him this was all part of early pregnancy. The baby was healthy, you were healthy and this was all just part of growing a person.

But, that didn’t make it any easier. You were so tired, and hungry - but no food tasted like what you wanted. You wanted taiyaki, but you couldn’t get any and the crackers you kept in your desk to keep the nausea at bay had started to taste like cardboard. Your emotions were running rampant and you couldn’t think straight, having been woken at 5am by the bile in your stomach rising for the day. Your boobs were starting to hurt, you were so frazzled by everything that you just tried to set yourself on autopilot to get through the day. You didn’t want Satoru to worry any more than he already was - you were okay, really, and the thought of causing him more stress upset you more than any of it, Shoko - being the doctor she was, helped you with whatever you needed but she had been so busy all week you didn’t get to see her too much - plus, she didn’t need the added workload. Nanami, well - as much of a darling as he is, is still Nanami.

You were currently sitting on your office sofa, head leaning against the back and eyes closed as you breathed through your nose to try and combat the swelling feeling of sickness in your stomach. There was a knock at the door, and in walked Megumi.

“Hey sweetheart, you doing okay?” You ask, opening one eye to look at him.

“Yeah, could you sign this? It’s last weeks mission summary, it needs to be signed by a supervising sorcerer and you came on that mission with us.” He says, passing you a stack of papers, mission summaries being part of the curriculum that Yaga prepared, meant to be positive practice for record keeping after graduation and time to report any issues.

“Course, ‘Gumi. Just -” as the words came out of your mouth you felt your stomach twist and you stood and bolted to the bathroom like lightning, leaving a confused boy in your wake. You slammed the door behind you and made it to the toilet bowl just in time, heaving what little breakfast you had managed into the toilet.

After a moment, you took a deep breath and sat back on your heels, wiping your mouth as a knock on the door echoed through the room. Megumi opens it, holding your big pink water bottle which you see he had filled up. He looked unnerved, and came toward you like a person approaching a wild lion.

“Um… I thought you’d need a drink. Do you - want anything else? Should I get dad?” He asks. You really don’t want to worry him, or anyone else - because this really wasn’t anything to fret over.

You smiled as you took the bottle, and took a drink. You take your hair from its ponytail and attempt to fix it in the mirror.

“No, sweet boy, I’m okay. Just your sibling making sure we know they’re there. Definitely your dads kid.” You smile, rolling your eyes as you go to stand - which you instantly regret. There’s no warning, just a wave of hot liquid which you barely manage to get into the toilet. You cringe, knowing Megumi is still behind you but your fears of him being afraid seeing his mom vomit are assuaged when you feel a cold hand wrap around your hair and hold it back out of your way. Just as Satoru has been doing every morning for the last 3 weeks, as he rubs your back and wipes your forehead. You can’t help the tears that spring to your eyes, as you wipe your face and turn to him.

“I’m so sorry, ‘Gumi, nobody needs to see that. I’m okay, I promise.” You say, patting his free hand.

“Mom, shut up. You’re okay, yeah, but you don’t have to do this alone, I know you don’t want to worry us but we want to help you - okay?” His stern eyes are focused on you, as he flicks your forehead. That was the straw that broke the camels back as you fell forward into his chest and sobbed. He froze, pulling his arms to hesitantly pat your back. He didn’t know what to do now, how do you comfort a crying pregnant woman on a bathroom floor? Should he Google it? His dad was away on a mission all day with the second years. Emotions aren’t really… his forte. That’s way more Itadori’s thing.

Itadori! He patted your back awkwardly, then pulled away.

“I’ll be right back mom. Wait here.” He says, and resorted to patting you on the head.

A moment later, the door opens again and Yuuji and Megumi enter again. Yuuji immediately gasps at seeing you crying on the bathroom floor and rushes to your side.

“Y/N! Are you okay? Megumi said you were sick!” He asks, wrapping you in a hug as you nod.

“It’s morning sickness, Itadori. Because of the baby.” Megumi says, from his perch on your desk.

“Oh yeah! Do you think you’ll be sick again?” He asks you and you shake your head.

“Okay! Oh no! You’re so sweaty, here, let’s get you a cloth.” He stands up as he wets a cloth and dabs your forehead, the show of kindness only making you cry harder - hormones in full force.

“Hey, Fushiguro - Google what’s good for morning sickness!” He says, and without warning, you feel a strong pair of arms under your knees and around your back as Yuuji swoops you up like you weight nothing due to his unnerving strength and walks you over to your office sofa. He gently places you down, and takes the fuzzy blanket off the arm of the sofa to drape over you as he sits beside you and pulls your body into an all encompassing bear hug. Stroking your hair.

Megumi is slack jawed on the desk, he knew Yuuji was caring, and endlessly kind but seeing him care for you, his mom, like it was second nature awakened something in him. It clicked in that moment.

He had a crush on Yuuji Itadori.

The fluffy haired, pink tinged boy who’s unnaturally strong arms are laced around his shoulders of the woman who raised him, pressing soft, soothing circles into her shoulders and asking her what she needs with big, bright chocolate brown eyes. He’s had crushes before, admiring people he knew in school or that one girl in his old debate club. Yet, the way his heart seemed to seize, or skip a beat when Yuuji entered a room, or how he couldn’t help but crack a small smile at his antics, or how he couldn’t help but look for him in every crowded room, or sit beside him in every class, restaurant, train, cinema. How he felt a heat in his cheeks when Itadori would train shirtless and sweaty wasn’t just from being impressed at the boy’s strength, or how he wondered if Yuuji’s hair was as soft as it looked, or how his large, calloused hands would feel in his. None of that was friendship. Well, it was. It was also more. He saw that now, clear as day.

Well.

Shit.

“Fushiguro?” The boy is question’s voice snaps him out of his trance as he freezes. These emotions could be dealt with at a later time.

He flicks his eyes up, seeing the questioning look on Itadori’s face made him look back to his phone and try to concentrate on finding ways to help the crying woman on the sofa. He cleared his throat.

“I’ll be right back, apparently ginger tea helps.” He says, and darts out of the room to the kitchen.

Yuuji blinked at his odd behaviour. He felt like he knew Megumi Fushiguro pretty well by now, seeing as he couldn’t help but spend every moment looking or listening to him. He’d known since the moment Fushiguro came in to the crematorium, battered and bruised but instructing him to join him at school that he had a painfully large crush on the taller boy. Hell, even seeing him for the first time in the hospital Yuuji thought he was the prettiest boy he’d seen in his life. Yuuji knew he was bisexual, he had had a few short term, middle school girlfriends and had gone on dates with guys before but had never felt that searing attraction and overwhelming attachment to anyone before like he had with Megumi.

A sniffle broke him from his thoughts as he saw you in his arms.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to call Gojo-Sensei?” He asked.

“No! Don’t bother him. He’s so excited about the baby I just don’t want him to feel like he has to worry about me when he already has so much on his shoulders. I am so sorry you two have to see me like this, I didn’t mean to have you guys watching over me - you all probably have better things to do.” You say, wiping your cheeks on your sleeve.

“Ah-ah! No! Bad Y/N Sensei! You’re making a whole ass human, you’re allowed to let people pamper you! When Nobara makes cookies she expects praise for a week afterward! Plus, we wanna mind you! Megumi the mostest, he was talking last weekend about introducing his shikigami to the scent of the baby early so they can watch over them too. Nobara is researching the best beauty regimes for pregnant women, and I’ve been learning how to make baby food! I also am learning to crochet, so I can make stuffies! That’s only us three. Inumaki was telling the group chat that Okkotsu had sent a photo of a baby blanket he got in Africa for the baby, and Nanamin already has started calling the baby his niece or nephew! That’s not even including the main person who is here for you - Gojo-sensei! I don’t think he’s spoken about anything but you or the baby in weeks, he even asked us to help him find all the books on babies in the library.” He says, arms waving around.

Your eyes well up again, but with happy, warm tears this time and you can’t help but laugh at the idea of Sukuna’s vessel crocheting.

“You don’t have to do this alone, Y/N sensei. You once said that it takes a village to raise a child? We’re your village.” He says, and pats the top of your head.

You open your phone, looking through your camera roll - when you find the photo you want you pass it to him.

“Only me, Shoko, Satoru and ‘Gumi have seen this.” You say, smiling softly at him as he stares at the screen.

“Is this - ?” He asks, mouth gaping and eyes wide.

“That’s lil’ mochi. We got a sonogram at the weekend.” You beam at him. This boy is so kind, so endlessly gentle and you’re so thankful for him - but something, call it mother’s intuition, tells you he’s going to be in your lives for a very long time. You’d guess, in relation to your eldest son.

“Holy shit! That’s so fucking cool! Is that their little hands?!” He asks, pointing to the 3D sonogram photo and you nod, beaming.

“Your sensei calls them lil’mochi because he thinks that’s what their head looks like.” You laugh.

At that moment, Megumi comes into the room, holding a mug and a Nobara in tow.

“Y/N! Okay so - if your morning sickness is bad my grandma used to say that meant you were having a girl! That’s so exciting! Also - when my aunt was pregnant she liked sour candy, so here’s some sour patch kids from the vending machine. Fushiguro has your ginger tea. Do you want me to braid your hair so it’s out of your face?” She asks in a verbal stream of consciousness, hands on her hips and she squeals seeing the open sonogram on your phone.

You take the tea from your eldest boy, who uses the back of his hand to test your forehead. Nodding wordlessly when he likes what he finds. You whisper a soft thank you to him and he gives you a small smile. Your stomach settles as Nobara sits behind you on the top of the sofa and braids your hair, while Yuuji chats away absentmindedly. Megumi knows you said not to, but he opens his phone anyway.

💬Dad:

Mom is sick bc of the baby this morning - she keeps saying she doesn’t wanna bother or worry anyone , for some reason she actually listens to you so can you try talk some sense into her? We’re taking care of her today.

Before he even locks his phone he hears a thud from the corner of the room.

“Princess! Is mochi making momma ill?! Nooooo, Mochi! You gotta be nice to Momma! She’s an angel and she is making you!” He says as he flings himself at your feet, kneeling between your knees and kissing your belly. You don’t even shriek, so completely used to your husbands sudden warping.

“Silly momma! Princess, my sweet girl - you should have told me the morning sickness was bad today! You didn’t make this baby alone, so you’re not gonna create it alone!” He says and all the kids cringe at his wording.

“I just didn’t wanna worry you, ‘Toru. But I’m guessing Megumi decided to take action anyway, because he’s as stubborn as you.” You say, eyes turning to the dark haired boy, who just raises an eyebrow and shrugs. You just laugh, knowing there’s no fighting your two boys when it comes to caring for you.

Nobara jumps from behind you, grabbing Yuuji by the hand and Megumi as they leave.

“C’mon, you two, before they start trying to make another one.” She says, laughing, but knowing it’s time for you and Satoru to have a moment alone. Her phrasing makes Megumi die a little inside, remembering the unpleasant experience of being 13 and coming home unexpectedly early from a cancelled after school club.

The door shuts, but not before you say.

“Megumi.”

The boys turns in the doorway as his friends walk ahead.

“Thank you, sweet boy.” You say, smiling, and petting the white hair of the man who is still kneeling at your feet - whispering chastisement’s to the fetus causing you annoyance.

He nods, and smiles, and closes the door behind him, leaving his parents to have some time, knowing there is nothing, or nobody, on this planet who can comfort or make you feel more loved or safe than your adoring husband, Gojo Satoru.

“Princess, why didn’t you want to tell me? I’m not mad, sweet girl - I just want to be here for you. I know we’ve had ‘Miki and Megumi, but this - pregnancy, babies, it’s all new for us, and I bet you’re pretty scared.” He says, standing to sit beside you and pull you into his lap, accommodating you on his wide thighs.

You lean into his chest, inhaling the sandalwood scent.

“I just - you already have so much to deal with, and I didn’t wanna add this on too, because the baby is healthy, and I’m healthy, it’s just this is a really shitty part of pregnancy. Also… this sounds dumb when I say it out loud, but - after you, I’m the strongest sorcerer, and I didn’t… I didn’t want anyone thinking I was weakened.” You say, nuzzling into him, grateful to have a husband you feel so at home and comfortable with that after some coaxing, you can share your deepest feelings without reserve.

“Oh my pretty girl - look at me. You -” he pokes your nose lovingly, with his blindfold off and stares at you with so much love in his gaze that it takes you back - even though you have seen that same emotional gaze every day for almost 12 years.

“You - are the strongest. You’re doing something that I can’t, you’re making a whole person. I gave you some equipment and you’re building it from scratch, if you ask me - that’s the strongest, bravest thing I’ve ever heard. You’re incredible, Princess, and as the strongest sorcerer beside you - you can lean on me. We’re in this together, like we’ve done everything, okay? Plus - you might be pregnant but I saw the way you smashed that second grade without lifting a finger from your milkshake last week.” He strokes your cheek, pressing kisses to the side of your head as you squeeze into him even more, closing your eyes and just basking in the moment of vulnerability with your soulmate.

“I love you, ‘Toru.” You say, kissing the place where his heart is.

“I love you too, princess.” He says, smiling and wrapping his strong arms around your waist.

You guys are quiet for a moment.

“Have you noticed how Yuuji looks at Megumi?” You say, and Satoru smirks, eyes sparkling.

“Eh - obviously. Six eyes. But, have you noticed how Megumi blushes whenever Yuuji compliments him?”

Recommended Listening:

cinnamon girl - lana del rey

[luvhughes43]

Clingy | Luke Hughes x reader

Request: Heyy can I request a Luke hughes fic where him and the reader are dating (long term) and she tends to get really clingy and overly emotional when she’s about to get her period, and she over hears him calling her clingy to the boys as he’s forgotten it’s that time? 

word count: 0.7k

you and luke had been dating for 2, going on 3 years now. you had thought he’d understood you perfectly, but you guessed you thought wrong.

every month like clockwork, when you were about to get your period you would start getting extra clingy with luke. He never seemed to mind, and you two would enjoy spending days cuddled up in his or your bed. but now that his schedule was more chaotic, and he and you have been going out more, you guessed he just got sick of how clingy you were.

“guys I can't even do anything anymore… y/ns been so clingy this past week!” you heard Luke tell his teammates as you stood outside the boys living room. you came to the house to spend some more time with Luke but he clearly was sick of it. “I swear I can't even go out without her sticking to my side all night!” Luke continued and your heart broke. “she can't seriously be jealous or something right? like honestly it’s getting so annoying” he finished.

It was then that you stepped into the living room. “You think I'm annoying…” you trailed off, clearly upset. the boys quickly noticed the tears building in your eyes so they hastily excused themselves to their rooms. 

“baby i just-“ Luke started but you cut him off.

“I'm just going to go” your voice broke. you couldn’t believe he thought you could've been jealous and that you were being annoyingly clingy. you just wanted him.

Luke let you go. 

a few days later he finally texted.

lukey🌷🫶: I’m really sorry about what I said. Can I see you?

y/n: i don’t want to talk to someone who thinks i’m annoying srry.

lukey🌷🫶: Please just talk to me? I swear if you want me to go I will.

y/n: fine .. meet me at my dorm in an hour?

lukey🌷🫶: I’ll be there

read 2:05pm

just as he promised, Luke was knocking on your dorm door an hour later. you reluctantly got off your bed and opened it. Luke looked a mess. you could clearly tell he felt bad about what happened. “I uh.. I got you a coffee "Luke spoke up, showing you the iced coffee in his hand. you took the coffee from him and opened up your door a little wider. He stepped in and sat on the edge of your bed. “I just want to tell you I'm sorry for what I said, y/n.. I just got frustrated", Luke started to apologize.

“Why did you tell your friends?” you cut into his apologies and he looked up at you surprised.

“I uh-“

“No seriously. If you thought I was being super clingy and annoying why didn’t you just tell me? it’s so embarrassing that’d you’d tell them! I seriously thought you didn’t mind me being clingy and to find out that you think I'm annoying by overhearing you talk about it with your friends… It really hurts luke! You should’ve told me yourself.” you started tearing up midway through your speech. you felt so embarrassed. 

he looked down at his hands, “I know, I shouldn’t have done it. I just needed to tell someone and the guys were there and… I don’t even know what to say” you sniffled. 

“I just feel like all this time you’ve been resenting me for getting clingy and I don't know…” you trailed off quietly. 

Luke got up off your bed and walked over to you, taking the coffee out of your hands and pulling you into a hug. He placed your coffee on your desk before he trailed his hands up and down your back. You rested your head in the crook of his neck. “I’m so sorry. I love you y/n” Luke whispered as he brought one hand up to stroke your hair, the other still rubbing up and down your sweater clad back. 

“I’m sorry too..” you whispered into his neck as you tightened your arms around him for a second before relaxing your hold again. 

Luke dragged you into your bed and you both caught up on the few days you were apart. You were still a little upset about him talking to his friends about you, but he assured you that next time he would talk to you first about issues regarding your relationship. 

[hockeylovee12]

Your Quinn imagine is sooooo good!! Ahhhh!! 💛💛can you do maybe a part 2 please? I need q to suffer a little bit

Part 2

A/N I’m so glad you guys enjoyed the first part I hope you enjoy this one as well!! Feel free to request any other prompts!

Quinn stood there in shock. Y/N had been clingy the past few weeks but Quinn still loves her like a lot.

Knowing she is just mad Quinn decides to take a break and begins getting ready for the day brushing his teeth and washing his face before getting in the shower.

In the middle of conditioning his hair he hears their apartment door slam shut.

“Y/N!” Quinn calls out to no response.

Quinn quickly shuts off the shower and wraps a towel around his waist rushing out of his room to see if Y/N was still there.

She wasn’t and her purse and keys were gone as well.

Immediately Quinn searches for his phone conditioner still in his hair and his body wet.

When he finds his phone in his bedroom he begins calling Y/N multiple times each time getting a voicemail

He sends her a text.

Quinn💚-Y/N please I’m sorry come home and we can talk please

Quinn tosses his phone on the bed and heads back to the shower to quickly rinse out the conditioner that was in his hair before drying off and getting dressed in some jeans and a hoodie.

Quinn takes a seat on the couch and tries to call Y/N again receiving no response Quinn frustrated runs a hand through his somewhat damp dark brown hair.

He gets off the couch and grabs his keys determined to find and make up with Y/N as soon as possible.

Having no clue where to even begin Quinn starts looking in some of their favorite places. He begins in a small cafe where he took Y/N on a first date, then a near by park where they frequently take walks in, even stopping by her work where he has surprised her with a lunch date multiple times through out the years. Still Y/N is no where to be found.

After searching for a good few hours Quinn starts to become seriously worried. He returns back home to the shared apartment hoping Y/N had come home by now unfortunately she has not.

Quinn begins going through his contacts calling a few of the numbers of people who are close friends with Y/N. Some answer and tell Quinn they haven’t seen or spoken to her in a few days. Others don’t answer at all.

Quinn continues to worry and rack his brain trying to figure out where Y/N would have gone and how to apologize to her.

Quinn eventually wears himself out and falls asleep on the couch.

———————————————————————

Around 7pm the door to Quinns apartment opens and he wakes up seeing Y/N walk into the apartment.

More relieved than anything Quinn sighs and rushes over to hug her wanting nothing more than to have her safe in his arms.

“Are you ok? Where have you been you had me worried sick?” Quinn frantically asks

“I went out Quinn” Y/N says displeasure still showing in her tone

“Y/N please please I am so sorry can we please just talk about it” Quinn says

“Talk about what Quinn I went to the game last night to surprise you and instead I hear you talking shit about me to Elias! If that’s how you feel about me than-” Y/N starts to shout but nearly breaks down in the middle

Quinn walks over and wraps his arms securely around her.

“Baby I’m so so sorry I didn’t I didn’t mean the things I said please let me make it up to you” Quinn practically begs

“Why did you say those things Quinn? Do you really think I’m that clingy? I’m sorry if I just want my boyfriend you travel a lot and when your home I just I just want to spend time with you” Y/N cries out

Quinn continues holding Y/N close placing a kiss on her forehead

“No baby I don’t I don’t at all I I had no right to say that I I was being an asshole and I was just upset but it’s no excuse I love you so much and I know I travel a lot and I miss you so much when I travel and I know you miss me too it’s you you’ve been through so much with me and I couldn’t do anything without you I’m so so sorry baby can you please please forgive me” Quinn apologizes hoping for forgiveness

Y/N moves her head out of Quinns chest and looks up at him with glass eyes

“Please forgive me” Quinn says matching her glass eyes

“I forgive you” Y/N says Quinn smiles at her and leans in to kiss her.

[uramilf]

The Record Shop - Chapter Five

A/N: Here you go guys! I hope everyone enjoys!

Warnings: Lots of smut, angst and some swearing. 18+

Penny’s POV

The week after my date with Matty, I couldn’t stop thinking about him. I knew he wasn’t my boyfriend, and I still couldn’t work out if he was the type to settle down with a partner. But I wanted him to. I needed him to. I wanted to drop to my knees at his feet and beg him to be mine, only mine.

I couldn't even stomach the thought of spending a whole day without seeing him, so as soon as I finished my last client in the salon I packed up and walked as quickly as my legs would carry me to the record shop, praying that he would be working. He, in fact, was. I could see him through the windows, helping a customer, his back turned to me. I almost walked in, but I stopped in my tracks when I saw her. It wasn’t just a customer, it was her. The girl from the party; the party he invited me too and didn’t speak to me at because he was too busy with her. I think she spotted me. But I don’t know, I was too busy trying not to cry as I turned and made home my new destination.

—————

I couldn’t bring myself to hate the girl; she wasn’t to know I even existed. But the way she touched his arm and looked up into his eyes as they spoke made me want to scream. Only the day before I was the doe-eyed girl begging for his attention.

He called that night, like he had been doing for a few nights now. Usually I ran to grab my phone before holding myself back from answering as to not sound too desperate, but that night I was desperate for him to leave me alone. He didn’t, of course, calling over and over until the sound of my ringtone was ringing in my ears. I realised then that he must care, at least a little, or he would’ve given up. So I answered, reluctantly, holding the phone to my ear and saying “Hello?” Trying to act as if I didn’t know who was calling when I had been acting like a pining teenager for days.

“Hi Penny, my darling. You okay? You took fucking ages to answer!”

“Fine, yeah.”

“So listen, George was on his smoke break earlier and said he saw you walk up to the shop and then leave. What happened?”

“Nothing. I got a call and had to answer it.”

“Oh.” Matty sounded like he didn’t believe a word, and with good reason. “So, you’re not mad at me or anything.”

“Why would I be?” I said a little more grumpily than was necessary.

“Babe, c’mon, there’s something wrong.”

I took a deep breath and felt the wave of sickness wash over me again, the one I felt when I saw her touch his arm and do that stupid oblivious giggle. I suppose it was jealousy, nothing else, but I didn’t want to admit it. That would mean admitting that I cared much more than he seemed to.

“Fine, yes, there’s something wrong.”

“Okay, are you gonna tell me? I’m sure I can help.”

“Well, you can start by telling me what she was doing in the shop today.”

“Who do you-” he paused abruptly, telling me he knew exactly what the problem was. Or rather, who the problem was. “Look, she just came in to say hi. I couldn’t exactly boot her out.”

“I’m not upset with you,” I breathed out slowly. “I just…I thought we were…”

There was a silence on both ends of the phone, one that made me feel ill again. Matty broke it, finally, after what felt like hours.

“We’re seeing each other,” he confirmed, not that I needed confirmation. “But we said no labels, right? I mean, that was your condition. We weren’t gonna be serious right away.”

“Well, the way I see it I’m more serious about it than you.” I couldn’t help but start to cry, feeling completely weighed down by the pathetic neediness I felt for him.

“Darling, come on, she’s nobody.”

“Well can you tell her that? She’s all over you, she clearly doesn’t know I exist.”

I was sobbing now, feeling that the one person I wanted to be with all the time had a line of others just like me. Matty just sighed in defeat on the other end of the phone.

“I’m coming over,” he said calmly. “Don’t argue, please darling, I need to see you.” I didn’t answer, I just sat there. Tears dripping down my skin leaving a trail of salt and sadness. I didn’t bother to wipe them off.

—————

He arrived not ten minutes later, banging on the door of my flat until I had to drag myself up to let him in. His face fell when he saw my puffy eyes and reddened cheeks, and for a split second I thought it was because he realised how ugly I looked when I cried. But then it clicked, it wasn’t that, he was making the face of someone guilty. He felt bad, seeing me cry like that. It reminded him of the way I cried the night I left Alex for the second time. I knew to look at him that he couldn’t bear it, so I wiped my eyes and invited him in.

“Darling, I’m sorry. I’m sorry if you think I don’t care as much as you do. But she really is nothing to me.”

“I know,” I sniffled.

“But we said we weren’t putting labels on anything. What changed?”

I just shrugged, staring down at my feet, unable to admit that I was completely and utterly infatuated with him.

Matty finally came inside, taking me by the hand and leading me to the living room. We sat on the sofa silently for at least a few minutes, until Matty cleared his throat and spoke again.

“I don’t feel ready for a relationship right now,” he said simply.

“I do.” I replied. “Why won’t you like me?”

“Wh- darling, I don’t-” Matty stuttered before taking a deep breath and looking straight into my eyes.

“I like you. A lot. I want you near me all of the time. You make me happy, you make me comfortable, I like you. But I’ve only had one serious relationship before, and it didn’t end well. You don’t want me to be your boyfriend, not really.”

“Yeah, because I’ve been in so many great relationships,” I scoffed at his answer. I shouldn’t have. He was being real, unmistakably, but I couldn’t see it. I was too used to lies and arguments and feeling unsafe around boyfriends.

“Fine. I can’t force you to date me,” I snapped. “But I thought I meant more to you.”

He tried to argue, but I wouldn’t let him. I pointed to the front door and locked myself in my bedroom until I heard him leave. Like a fucking child throwing a tantrum. Why did I need him so much? In a way I had never needed anyone before? I couldn’t answer the flood of questions in my own head, and eventually it felt like they had pooled in the front of my brain and caused a blockage. I went to sleep without contacting him again like I did every night.

—————

I woke up the next morning with red eyes, wether it was from exhaustion or crying I wasn’t sure. I sat silently in my kitchen with a cup of coffee and smoked cigarette after cigarette, contemplating what to do. I hadn’t even seen my phone since I went to bed, so Matty had probably been calling. With a groan, I decided what I needed to do.

Firstly I grabbed a cardboard box from my move in and filled it with Matty’s blue Nike jumper, grey sweatpants, bottle of aftershave, lighter and copy of On the Road. I hauled it down the stairs in my building and managed to carry it down to the record shop. The little bell on the door jingled when I walked through and brought me back to the very first time. George was behind the counter, looking absolutely bored out of his mind.

“Hey, G,” I smiled sadly.

“Hey, what’s that?”

“Some of Matty stuff,” I sighed. “Will you give it to him?”

George stood up and peeked into the box. “What do you mean? You’re not seeing each other any more?”

“Well, no. Not really. He just doesn’t know it yet.”

“Wait, what?” George scoffed. “You’re breaking up with him and you’re telling me first?”

“I’m not breaking up with anyone, G. We were never together. He doesn’t want me, and I’m accepting that. See you later.”

I turned to leave, but George followed me and blocked the door of the shop with his massive height.

“Doesn’t want you?” he chuckled. “Oh, he wants you.”

“I don’t know what he’s said to you, but he told me last night that he doesn’t want a relationship. And I don’t wanna be just another girl to him.”

“Look, Penny,” George sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. “Matty’s had a tough couple of years. He doesn’t wanna hurt you, that’s why he’s reluctant to go further with you. But you should hear him out.”

“Oh.” I stayed silent for a moment or two.

“Fine, I’ll talk to him. Give him the box though.”

Footsteps sounded from the back of the shop and Matty appeared. We stared at each other awkwardly for a moment, until George shoved the cardboard box into my hands.

“It’s closing time, I’m heading out,” he called.

“It’s not closing t-” Matty was cut off by George shutting the door and disappearing down the street. He groaned before laughing quietly and flipping over the sign on the door.

“I guess we’re closed then. What’s in the box?”

I looked down, not being able to look him in the eyes as I said it. “Some of your stuff.”

“Why?” his voice cracked.

“Because I don’t want to do this anymore,” I replied in a small voice.

“Penny, what?” Matty shook his head in disbelief. “I know we had an argument, but come on!”

“I don’t wanna be just another one of your girls. I need to be more. I need all of you, and that’s not what you want. So I think it’s best if we don’t see each other any more.”

Matty looked like he was going to crumple onto the floor. Like I had hurt him, badly. He didn’t talk for a minute. He just looked at me.

“Will you come talk out back please?” he said quietly.

“Fine,” I sighed, defeated.

He took me to the break room in the back of the shop and lit up a cigarette, taking a long drag and breathing it out before speaking.

“Just because I can’t be your boyfriend right now doesn’t mean I never can.”

“What?” I snap, rolling my eyes. I could tell I was being a total bitch, but I was frustrated and feeling unwanted.

“I just - I can’t be everything you want right now. I’m too overwhelmed by the whole concept of relationships ever since my last girlfriend left me. I’m sorry.”

I breathed deeply, trying my best to calm down instead of saying things I would regret.

“Okay. I’m sorry. For…overwhelming you.”

“You didn’t, it’s not you. You’re perfect. It’s just…”

“You don’t have to talk about it,” I sighed, taking his hand. “I can tell you’ve got shit going on. I won’t push it anymore. Sorry.”

Matty just shook his head and sighed.

“It’s ok, darling. I understand why you want to know the truth. And you deserve to, I just…I can’t talk about it right now.”

Matty took a few steps closer to me, placing his hands on my waist and looking down into my eyes.

“I want to be everything to you. Eventually. But right now you don’t deserve the kind of boyfriend I would be. I’d be terrible. I just need some time to work on myself, okay?”

“You really wanna be with me?” I said in surprise.

“Yes! Yes, darling, I do.”

“Okay,” I nodded with a shaky breath.

“C’mon, give me a kiss, baby.”

I stepped forward and pressed my lips to Matty’s. His whole body relaxed against mine when I weaved my fingers through his hair, tugging ever so gently. He put his hands gently on my waist and pulled me endlessly closer. I needed him.

Matty pushed me back against the small desk in the break room, making me lie down on top of it, never breaking the kiss.

“Are you gonna let me take care of you?” he mumbled against my lips.

I nodded desperately. “Please.”

He slid my skirt up my thighs until he could reach the waist of my underwear, tugging my thong down with his teeth. He looked up at me through his eyelashes as he licked a slow stripe up my pussy.

“Fuck, Matty,” I hissed, my fingers weaving into his hair.

He smirked against my skin and started to suck lightly on my clit, never breaking the gaze he had on my face. I could feel his eyes on me, even when I threw my head back against the cool wood of the desk and cried out his name. He kept licking, sucking, biting, anything to make me feel good.

“God, I think I’m gonna cum,” I moaned out, feeling delirious at the sensation of his tongue flicking over my clit again and again. Suddenly he stopped, pulling away with a stupid grin on his face.

“Matty, no!” I whined. “I was so close.”

“I know,” he smirked. “But I want you to cum around my cock, baby. I need to be inside you.”

That word. Need. He finally said it, after I had been thinking it since I met him.

“I need you too,” I whispered. It was almost the first step towards a closer relationship. The way couples make a big deal out of saying “I love you”, but instead it was simply me making a big deal out of one little word. My brain told me he hadn’t put any thought into it, and my body told me that he had. He needed me.

Matty undid his jeans and pulled a condom from the desk drawer.

“Why the fuck do you have condoms in there?”

“In case of emergencies,” he smirked.

“I’m not the first girl you’ve fucked in here, am I?” My heart sank, thinking back to the girl from the party, the way she stood in the shop touching him and giggling and flipping her hair. Had she just lived the exact same experience as I was living just then?

“You are definitely the first girl I’ve fucked in here,” Matty said softly. “George on the other hand…let’s just say Charli comes in here quite a lot.”

I rolled my eyes. “Great, so you’re gonna fuck me with George’s condom on him and Charli’s sex table?”

Matty rolled his eyes back, mocking me with a laugh. “Fine. C’mere then.” He finished putting the condom on and dragged me up by the hand before lifting me effortlessly and pushing my back against the wall, my legs tight around his waist.

“There, now we have our very own sex wall. No more table for us.”

“Just shut up and fuck me,” I laughed.

Matty pushed into me slowly, my name leaving his lips ever so seductively as he did so. “Fuck darling, so tight.” He secured my place against the wall by gripping my hips tightly, before starting to thrust slowly, almost leaving me every time before slamming himself back in.

“Stop teasing,” I giggled. “Do it properly.”

Matty laughed out loud, almost stopping his movement completely to be sure he didn’t drop me. “Properly? What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Hard,” I whispered in his ear. “Rough.”

He took my demand, kissing and biting at my neck as he started to fuck me ‘properly’. I was practically screaming his name, clawing at his back through his thin t-shirt every time he hit the exact right spot inside of me.

“Fuck Matty, feels so good,” I whined pathetically, tightening the grip I had on his shirt. The sound of his body slamming into mine over and over resounded through the small room. I had a sudden moment of panic: “Fuck, George isn’t gonna come back, is he?”

Matty laughed again, but didn’t slow his pace this time. “It’s unhealthy how much we’ve talked about George while fucking.” He stopped to catch his breath and groan my name before continuing. “No, baby, he’s fucked off home.”

“Good,” I smirked.

“Besides, he knows not to bother me when I’m with you, pretty girl.”

Matty’s thrusts sped up, his groans getting louder and more frequent. “I’m gonna cum, angel.”

“Me too,” I gasped, slipping my hands into his hair and tugging gently.

“Cum for me, gorgeous, I’ve got you,” matty moaned out before burying his head into my neck as he released into the condom, his hips still moving to bring me over the edge. I came a few seconds after, chanting his name like a mantra.

—————

We ended up sitting on the floor of the break room together, flicking through boxes of old records together.

“Ooh, I like this one,” Matty said, holding up a Blur Nile record.

“I haven’t heard it,” I replied, taking the record to look over the track list printed on the back of the sleeve.

“Take it, give it a listen.”

“Sure, how much is it?”

Matty grinned. “You’re such a good girl sometimes, Penny. Seriously, nobody ever touches this box. Just take it.”

“Would a good girl shag you in your own place of work?” I raised an eyebrow.

“Fair point,” he smirked. “Was it good?”

I pretended to think for a moment before sighing. “I’ve had worse.”

“Shut up,” matty rolled his eyes. “I know it’s not the most romantic place but I really didn’t wanna go all the way to your flat first. I couldn’t have waited that long.”

“Oh yes, walking 30 metres down the street is tough.”

“You’re mean.”

I shuffled closer to him and put my head on his shoulder. “I’m kidding. You were perfect. Nobody’s ever made me laugh that much during sex. I mean, I laughed at one guy the whole time once because of how bad it was, but this was different.”

“I’m gonna say that’s a good thing?”

“Very good.”

He kissed my cheek and stood up, pulling me up by both hands. “C’mon, I’ll walk you home.”

—————

The walk to my flat was a pleasant one. He came inside, too, and we lounged about on my sofa for an hour or two, watching TV and talking shit. The episode of whatever we were watching ended, and he turned to me with a nervous smile.

“What?” I smiled back.

“I was just wondering if maybe…you wanted to go somewhere with me? Like on a trip, maybe?”

“For two people who said they’re not getting together yet, that’s pretty serious, don’t you think?” I said, my eyebrows raising.

“I know, I know. But we don’t get to spend much time together. I want it to be just us for a bit. Just a day or two.”

“Okay…” I bite my lip. “If we did go away somewhere, where would we go?”

“Anywhere you want. Somewhere with a beach, maybe?”

My face breaks into a grin. “Okay. Sure, let’s go away somewhere.”

We talked on it a bit more before deciding on Blackpool. We started googling houses to rent for a few days. We found a pretty blue and white cottage right next to the beach, and Matty booked it straight away for a weekend the very next month. I kissed him happily on the cheek, telling him how thrilled I was to be spending more time with him.

—————

One month later I was loading my small suitcase into the boot of George’s car. He was driving Matty and I to the station to catch our four hour train to Blackpool, a journey which I fully intended to sleep for. But I knew Matty wouldn’t. He didn’t seem to sleep very much at all. When I stayed at his house, he seemed to stay awake for hours and hours after sex, never even yawning or closing his eyes for a quick minute or two.

I was right, of course. When I closed my eyes on the train I could still feel him looking at me, and when I woke up on a particularly bumpy part of the track he was still looking and smiling softly.

“Have you been staring at me the whole time I’ve been asleep?” I yawn.

“Mostly. Because you’re pretty.”

I laugh and stand up to stretch my legs quickly. I walk round the little table between mine and Matty’s seats and sit down beside him, laying my head on his shoulder.

“Thanks for taking me away,” I say gently.

He turns his head and kisses my cheek. “You’re welcome, Penny. Thank you for coming with me. And for putting up with me.”

I just laugh and cuddle closer into his side.

—————

The house is beautiful. The main bedroom is painted light blue, with strings of fairy lights hanging around the walls with fluffy throw blankets on the pristine white bed. There are glass sliding doors covered with long white blackout curtains, leading into a balcony with a table and two chairs looking over the beach. I sigh happily as I throw my bag down and flop onto the bed.

“Jesus, I thought that train was never gonna arrive.”

“You slept the whole time!” Matty scoffed. “I was lonely, angel.”

“You were fine.” I roll my eyes. “You had your book.”

“My book doesn’t talk back. Actually, maybe that’s a good thing, the amount of cheek you give me sometimes.” He grins cheekily, sitting on the white wooden chest of drawers in the corner of the room.

“Hey! I’m only cheeky when I need to be.”

Matty stood up and came to lie down beside me, lying on his back and staring up at the ceiling as if he was stargazing.

“Do you wanna go down to the beach, then? It’s only…” he checked his watch. “Five o’clock. We could go for a swim and come back for dinner.”

“Sure. What are we gonna do for dinner? You want me to run to a shop and cook something?”

“Nah, we can order something in. It’s the first night of our little holiday, you can relax, darling.”

I kissed his cheek and stand up to rummage through my suitcase for something to swim in.

“I’m gonna wear a bikini…it’s fucking boiling outside.” We might’ve still been in England, but the July sun was beaming down. If we still had’ve been at home, our mums would’ve been making ‘picky bits for tea’, to put the heat into perspective.

I pulled out a pink bikini and disappeared to get changed in the bathroom. When I emerged again Matty stared at me like he was seeing me for the first time.

“Oh Jesus Christ. Fuck the beach, can we just stay here please?”

“No!” I cackle with laughter. “It was your idea! Plus I’m boiling, c’mon!”

Matty sighed and pulled himself up, not bothering to go into the bathroom to change into his swimwear like I had. I tried not to look as I pulled a sundress on over my bikini and sliding my feet into my trainers. Matty chucked a t-shirt on and grabbed my hand, pulling me down the hall and out the front door into the glow of the evening sun. I took off my shoes the second we got down onto the beach and carried them along with me, desperate to feel the sand on my skin. As we neared the shimmering water, Matty threw his t-shirt onto the sand and helped me out of my sundress, grinning suggestively when he slid the material down my body.

“Race you,” he whispered, taking off towards the sea all of a sudden. I chased after him laughing wildly until I hit the water, shrieking at the unexpectedly freezing temperature.

“You’re such a wimp!” Matty shouted with a laugh. “C’mere!”

I waded out towards Matty, but the water was up at my shoulders by the time I reached him. He picked me up with ease so we could venture out further, until the water covered his chest.

“Hi,” Matty whispered against my salty skin.

“Hey,” I replied with a giggle.

“I really like this bikini on you.” He dragged his hand up my back to play with the strings of my top. “Pink suits you. Goes with that pretty blonde hair.”

“My hair’s half fried off. I might cut it all off and let it grow back brown.”

“Don’t cut your hair,” Matty begged. “What would I do if I couldn’t pull on it, huh?”

I rolled my eyes. “I’m not talking about a buzz cut, Matty.”

“I’m kidding baby. You should do whatever you want, because you look prettiest when you’re happy.”

I made Matty carry me all the way up the beach and back to the house, not wanting to get my feet covered in sand. He just sighed with feigned annoyance and did it.

“Anything for princess Penny,” he grinned.

“Exactly.” I kissed his cheek and tightened the grip I had on him as he took the hand that was supporting my thigh around his waist off to open the door. I finally jumped down once he got into the hallway.

“Shower time?” he smiled cheekily.

“Sure. I’ll go first.” I ruffled his hair playfully and started walking to the bathroom, looking back to see his shocked expression.

“No, that’s not what I meant!”

“Ohhh, you wanna come too? I don’t know, it’s a pretty small shower.”

“Stop teasing me Penny, I can’t handle it,” Matty groaned.

“Fine, I guess you can come too,” I grinned and kept walking, Matty following close behind smiling like I had just given him the best present of his life.

—————

We didn’t actually have sex in the shower (we did immediately afterwards, with me bent over the sink dripping wet in more than one way), but he helped me wash my hair and kissed my bare shoulders and neck as I giggled at the way his mouth tickled my skin. When we were finally dry and dressed we cuddled on the bed for half an hour before deciding to grab some dinner.

“Thank you for doing this, Penny,” Matty said, taking my hand across the table at dinner.

“You don’t really have to thank me, I’m on a free holiday,” I laugh. “I mean, it is Blackpool. Blackpool’s shit.”

“This house isn’t shit though, right?” he said worriedly, looking around the kitchen.

“No! I’m kidding! It’s beautiful, Matty. I promise.”

“So…you’re happy then?”

“I’m really happy. Thank you.”

—————

The night was full of giggly, drunk sex after we finished off a bottle of wine. I started to understand why Matty didn’t want labels. No relationship rules, no pressure. It was nice, just the two of us.

“Hey, George wants a night out when we get home. You wanna come?” Matty’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts. I looked up at him, smiling. He was looking down at the text from his best mate, his hair falling messily into his face.

“Yeah, that’d be lovely. Thanks.”

“You ready to go to sleep?” he yawned, lying down under the duvet and pulling it back for me. I climbed underneath and pulled the sheets around us, cuddling up against his bare chest.

“Get some sleep, darling,” Matty whispered, kissing my head softly as I drifted off.

[bloody-bee-tea]

BeeTober 2023 Day 21 - Bride

Suguru hides away in the medical wing and he’s not proud of it. But it’s one of the few places Satoru wouldn’t look for him—it’s not as if either of them ever really get hurt anymore—and if they hang out with Shoko they usually do it in one of their dorm rooms instead of the medical wing where more gruesome bodies are being brought in than Suguru is comfortable thinking about. So right now it’s the only safe place for Suguru.

Even if the body Shoko is prodding at does make his stomach turn.

“Why are you here, again?” Shoko bites out over her work and Suguru presses his lips together. “If you want to hang out with me, you could just say.”

It’s not quite what Suguru wants to do at the moment and Shoko damn well knows that, too, going by the look she gives him.

“I’m just bored,” Suguru tries, imitating the tone and shrug Satoru usually uses but he knows it’s not very effective.

“Liar. You’re hiding. From Satoru, of all people. Why?” Of course Shoko would immediately notice what’s going on, or maybe Satoru has complained to her before.

Either way, it seems pointless to lie.

“For reasons,” Suguru gives back, unwilling to lie, but even more unwilling to really put everything into words.

“You’ve been avoiding him,” Shoko goes on and Suguru nods his head once before he tenses.

He can feel Satoru’s cursed energy, just the faintest wisps of it, but it’s moving steadily closer. Either Satoru must be really desperate to look here or Shoko told him Suguru is there. Both seem possible.

“I have been avoiding him, yes,” Suguru admits, tracking the energy until it comes to a stop right outside the door.

He’s listening in, then, instead of confronting Suguru. Very well, maybe he can use that to his advantage.

“He’s unhappy. And even more annoying than usually,” Shoko informs him and Suguru does feel bad that she has to suffer both of their moods.

“That’s really not my problem, Shoko,” Suguru says, even though it is, and it hurts him to hear how much he’s upsetting Satoru.

But he can’t waver, not now.

Shoko gives him a sharp look, clearly mulling something over and it takes her a while before she speaks again. The energy outside doesn’t move.

“He’s in love with you, you know,” Shoko finally quietly says and Suguru flinches.

He suspected as much, if he’s being honest, and while he would usually be overjoyed about that, right now it only makes him sick.

“That’s also really not my problem. I don’t care. It doesn’t matter.”

When Suguru swallows a curse it goes down fighting, making it feel as if his entire throat is being torn open until it settles hot and heavy in his stomach. Right now, the words coming out of his mouth have the same effect on him and Suguru wants to throw up.

There’s a noise outside, followed by the sound of footsteps and Shoko’s eyes go big.

“Was that him?” she breathes out and Suguru closes his eyes as he nods. “You knew. How did you know he was there?”

“His energy,” Suguru whispers.

“I couldn’t feel anything,” Shoko gives back, frowning at him and Suguru feels like crying.

“I can always feel him. I always know where he is.”

“And you tell me it doesn’t matter. You’re such a fucking liar, Geto. What is going on? What are you doing? You said that to hurt him, just now. Why?”

“Yaga came to me two weeks ago,” Suguru tells her, staring at the wall instead of facing her glare. “He told me Satoru refuses to go on missions without me. Said he even refuses lessons specifically tailored to him if I’m not there.”

“So?” Shoko demands to know and Suguru lets out a harsh breath.

“I’m holding him back, Shoko. I’m shackling him down and I can’t do that. He’s the strongest, he’s supposed to be the strongest and he can’t be that when I trail after him all the time. Satoru won’t understand his technique like he could without me. He doesn’t need me to hinder him every step of the way.”

Suguru is hit by a pair of tongs.

“Ow, Shoko, what the hell,” Suguru yelps, rubbing his hand over his sternum where he was hit.

“Never before have I heard anything this stupid and I talk to Gojo regularly, so this is quite the feat.” She’s practically seething and Suguru blinks at her.

“Shoko, I—”

“No, you shut the hell up!” She takes a deep breath though it hardly does anything to calm her down. “You think Gojo cares? You think he wouldn’t trade all of his powers in just to stay by your side? Like you would do too, normally?”

Suguru opens his mouth but no words come out. He knows that Shoko is right, of course he does, and he would give anything to be able to stay by Satoru’s side but maybe some things are simply not meant to be, no matter how much they hurt.

“I won’t let him,” Suguru whispers out and Shoko snaps her glove at him.

“You do not get to decide that for him, you moron!”

“But he’s not going to chose what’s best for him!”

“And who are you to decide what’s best for him?” Shoko shoots back and Suguru feels his eyes burn.

“You think this is easy for me?” he breathes out, his voice almost breaking. “You think I want to lose him? But I’m not good enough to stand by his side.”

“Then change that,” comes Shoko’s reply and Suguru’s head flies up.

“What?”

“You both are the strongest. Maybe Satoru is out of your league right now, but right after him there’s you and then nothing for a good long while. And your technique is unprecedented. We have never seen anything like it, there are no records of it anywhere. Who knows what you can even really do.”

“What I can really do? Shoko, I swallow curses and then use them for my own. That’s what I can do.”

“Did you try something else?” she asks him and raises an eyebrow in question.

“Like what?” he defensively asks because it’s his technique, and he doesn’t like how she insinuates he’s doing it wrong.

“Merging curses, for example. Storing them somewhere ahead of time so others can use them. Swallowing parts of it and then using that to track the original curse down. That would come in handy for those disgusting fingers the higher-ups keep talking about,” she muses and Suguru feels as if he’s been hit with something again.

“You think I could do something like that?”

“I think you never even tried and just gave up before you even started. And I don’t only mean your technique, I’m talking about Gojo, too, just so you know.”

“Aw, you do care,” Suguru gets out, his mind whirring with possibilities.

“Only because you’re both insufferable if you’re not together.”

“It will still take some time for me to learn more,” Suguru mutters, biting his lip in thought and Shoko rolls her eyes.

“Maybe talk to him before that, because I am not going to survive another week of this.”

“I—thank you, Shoko,” Suguru says instead of promising her anything he probably can’t keep anyway and then makes for his own room.

He has some training to do.

~*~*~

Merging curses is much more difficult than it has any right to be and it makes his control over them strenuous at best. And sometimes it outright fails, he has to learn with despair, as the one that was supposed to carry him high up into the sky evaporates underneath him.

He was trying to merge two flying ones together to see if it would enhance their speed but right now all it did was enhance his chance to die, because he’s too high up to survive a fall like that.

Suguru is about to summon a few fly heads, hoping that they can at least slow his fall down, when he notices Satoru’s energy coming rapidly closer a split second before strong arms come up to meet him.

“What the hell,” Suguru breathes out once his fall is slowed down, and to his embarrassment he finds Satoru bridal-carrying him back down to earth.

“You’re welcome,” Satoru bites back, his voice hard and he pointedly does not look at Suguru.

Suguru might have taken Shoko’s advice about advancing his own technique but he definitely ignored the one about talking to Satoru first and so this is the first time they’ve seen each other outside of class in weeks.

“You’re mad at me,” Suguru whispers, even though he knows it’s his own fault. “Why are you still carrying me?” he asks and he pointedly does not mention the fact that they have long reached safe ground.

“Cleaning up the stain you’d leave behind by splattering on the ground would be a huge pain in the ass,” Satoru gives back, almost joking like he usually does but something is missing from his voice.

Something that made it warm and teasing and that Suguru fell in love with.

“Can you—let me down?” he finally asks, trying to push those thoughts away because he’s not strong enough.

He can’t stand as Satoru’s equal yet.

“Right. Because I’m the last person you would want you to carry like a bride,” Satoru says with something that comes close to a grin but only serves to make Suguru’s heart squeeze in his chest.

It’s clear how much it affects Satoru, the way Suguru rejected him, the way he’s avoiding him, and Suguru thought it would be fine until he can stand next to him with his head raised high, but now that he actually sees Satoru, that he is able to touch him, his resolve crumbles.

He slung an arm around Satoru’s neck when he caught him—and even now the knowledge that Infinity does nothing to stop him makes his head spin—and when his feet hit the ground he keeps it there as he buries his face in Satoru’s shoulder.

Suguru can feel Satoru go tense underneath him and he laments the fact that he didn’t listen to Shoko before.

He really should have talked to Satoru.

“What are you doing?” Satoru asks, his voice strangled and Suguru puts his other arm around Satoru’s waist.

“You’ve lost weight,” he absentmindedly notes and Satoru lets out a displeased huff.

“Hardly your concern,” he shortly gives back and Suguru presses himself even closer.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers and knows Satoru heard him when he stops breathing. “I’m sorry for avoiding you, I’m sorry for lying to Shoko like that when I knew you could hear it and I’m sorry for not being strong enough yet.”

There’s a beat of silence before Satoru haltingly says “You—lied to Shoko?”

“I did. It matters that you’re in love with me, and I care about that because I’m in love with you, too.”

“You have a really fucked up way of showing that,” Satoru says with a disbelieving laugh, “so sorry if I can’t quite believe you.”

Suguru tightens his arms around him once more, afraid that Satoru is going to vanish the very next second but to his amazement he stays right where he is.

Maybe Suguru will get a chance to at least explain.

“I’m not strong enough,” he says. “Not good enough.” He almost chokes on that part. “I’m holding you back.”

“Holding me back from what?”

“Reaching your full potential.”

When he hears that a jolt goes through Satoru and he puts his hands on Suguru’s shoulders, pushing him away, quicker than Suguru can try to stop him.

“You’re the worst idiot I have ever met,” he insistently tells him, finally looking straight at Suguru and a shudder runs down his back.

How he has missed these eyes on him.

“I don’t even want to reach my full potential if it’s not with you by my side. We’re supposed to be a duo. Together as the strongest. What are you even thinking?”

“That I’m not. The strongest,” Suguru tacks on when confusion falls over Satoru’s face. “I can’t be your equal and I can’t stand beside you, not yet. All I do is hold you back.”

“Will you stop with that!” Satoru yells out and his grip on Suguru’s shoulders borders on painful. “I couldn’t give a fuck about any of that. If you’re not there nothing matters. Nothing, Suguru! I need you by my side, I need you to be there.”

It’s eerily close to what Shoko told him a while ago and Suguru hangs his head in shame.

“I just thought—”

“Well, you thought fucking wrong,” Satoru snaps and then lets his head drop on top of Suguru’s. “You’re wrong. I only need you,” he whispers and Suguru isn’t above using that moment to hug Satoru close again.

“I’m sorry,” he mutters right before the breath is squeezed out of him by Satoru’s forceful hug.

“As you should be,” Satoru mumbles into his hair. “Just—say that you’re back. Say that we’re a duo again, please, Suguru.”

Suguru always has a hard time telling Satoru no, but with his voice like this, the warmth Suguru loves so much back in it, his lips shaping his name in that certain way that makes Suguru feel as if he’s home? There’s not a chance in hell he could say no to that.

“I’m back, Satoru. I’m back, I’m sorry for ever leaving in the first place, and I love you.”

The admission is easy now, knowing what he does now.

“Damn right you do,” Satoru jokes, but his voice sounds just as choked up as Suguru feels and he’s quick to press a reassuring kiss to Satoru’s throat.

“Damn right I do,” he quietly agrees because really, what else can he do but love this impossible boy, and he feels Satoru’s lips at the crown of his head.

“I have missed you so much,” Satoru admits and Suguru can feel his eyes grow hot.

“I’m not leaving again,” he promises him and for now, that’s enough.

Because all that matters right now is that he and Satoru are together again and this time Suguru will make sure to keep it that way.

[beesarealwaysawesome]

“Fatherly Love” Hazbin Hotel oneshot

Alastor starts to feel a bit left out in the hotel (despite never admitting it) and stops taking care of himself. He tries to deal with everything by himself like the stubborn demon he is.

.

.

.

It had been a few weeks since Lucifer joined the hotel. Alastor would be lying if he said he didn’t hate every second of it. Just watching him making everyone pancakes, treating everyone like children, caring about everyone. It made Alastor sick. Lucifer acted so sweet and fatherly. Alastor was constantly suspicious of it. Like any second Lucifer would turn on everyone.

The radio demon remembered his father very vividly. The cruel bastard, always getting upset and hurting Alastor’s mother or Alastor himself. It was constant torture, you’d never know when it’ll happen. One second mama was making dinner happily, the next father was yelling and throwing things. It was always terrifying. Alastor didn’t want that to happen again. Especially not here.

Due to the fact Lucifer was now the one making food for the hotel Alastor refrained from eating. No matter how much he wanted to. He never loved the food in the hotel either way. He didn’t feel hurt that his cooking abilities were no longer needed. Of course not. Alastor was grateful! He didn’t have to waste his time anymore! All the time he spent trying new recipes with Nifty, looking for ways to sneak healthy things into the meal with Charlie, receiving compliments and “thank you”s from Angel and Vaggie, teasing Husk during the dining room conversations…

None of it mattered! Alastor had better things to do. He found himself spending more time in cannibal town with Rosie. It was nice to catch up with her but soon she began to notice his strange behaviour.

“Alastor, you know you can tell me anythin’ right, deer?” Rosie said suddenly after taking a small sip of tea. It had been a few days since Alastor started visiting cannibal town more often.

Alastor raised an eyebrow in response, “Why of course I do! What makes you ask that?” His constant smile never left but it has become harder to hold.

The man recognised the look on her face. Sympathy. Oh how he loathed that look, especially when he was the one receiving it. Alastor, all powerful Radio Demon, needed no sympathy and definitely didn’t want any.

Rosie gently placed her teacup down onto the table between the two overlords. “Al, I know something's wrong. Look at yourself, you look exhausted and famished. Everytime you visit you practically beg for food. And your smile ain’t nearly as wide as it used to be.”

The demon’s ears lower. Perhaps he wasn’t as discreet as he’d hoped. He had been constantly reliving things that happened over a century ago while also trying to find a loophole in his deal. He hadn’t even realised how obvious he was being. He stayed silent, unable to think of what to say that won’t worry Rosie further.

She sighed softly and rested a hand on his shoulder, “If you need to talk, I’m here. We could go somewhere more private if you w-”

“I need to go.” Alastor interrupted, suddenly standing. He couldn’t let himself break like this. She doesn’t need to burden herself with his trivial issues. Alastor knew if he stayed a minute longer he’d spill everything, he couldn’t let that happen. Never.

Rosie reached for his wrist, “Al-“

“Goodbye, Rosie. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Alastor rushed himself out of the building. Despite the comfort it had given him, he had to leave. Alastor left cannibal town and made his way to the hotel. He might as well spend his time productively, perhaps he’d try to repair his microphone or make a new one. When he got to the front doors of the hotel he heard joyous laughter. Upon looking through the window he saw Lucifer (reluctantly) helping Nifty with her roach puppet show. Alastor narrowed his eyes and decided to teleport to his room instead. He preferred it to the pesky stairs anyways. Alastor began to try repairing his broken microphone.

A few hours went by. Right when Alastor was about to fix his microphone there was a knock on the door. Alastor sat in anger for a moment before responding in a calm voice, “Who’s there?”

“It’s Charlie, uhm, dad made dinner… Do you want to join us?” The princess’s hopeful voice calls from the other side. She’d asked him the same question for about 3 days now.

His answer was the same as always, “I’m afraid I’m not hungry at the moment, apologies my dear.”

Charlie sighs softly, “...Okay, Al.”

Alastor waits for her faint footsteps to disappear fully before groaning. This time he had lied. He left cannibal town before eating so much as a pinky. No matter, he’ll surely be fine for one day. Alastor continued his work. About 40 minutes passed and he successfully fixed his microphone! His smile widened when he realised his work hadn’t been for nothing. He leaned his microphone against the wall and flinched when he heard another knock. This confused him, usually Charlie would only knock once to tell him about food. “Hell-..o?”

He tilted his head curiously as he heard Charlie speak again, “Al? Uhm, I think we need to talk so… come out here please.”

Alastor hesitated, if Rosie could tell just by looking at him that something was wrong what if they could too? He shook his head and stepped away from the door. “No, I’d much rather stay here. Apologies, Charlie.”

There was quiet talking from the other side of the door before Vaggie spoke up, “Alastor, get out here. Now.”

He didn’t respond to this. How many people were out there? Was it just those two or was the whole hotel out there? He couldn’t risk it. He felt cornered.

Vaggie spoke up again, “We’ll give you to the count of three and then we’re sending Lucifer in!”

Alastor stayed silent, mentally preparing to fight.

“One… Two… Three…! Okay, he’s going in!” Vaggie said sternly, like an angry parent…

Alastor tensed up when he saw Lucifer appear from golden light. The devil hesitated at first, taking a step towards Alastor. This caused the deer demon to back away instinctively.

Lucifer looked annoyed at first, “Look, Alastor was it? Charlie has been really worried. Just tell her you’re fine and…”

The blonde stopped to get a good look at Alastor. Shit. not him too. Alastor had to find a way to gain control back, he couldn’t stand the look in Lucifer’s eyes. It was like Lucifer was watching a feral kitten with two broken bones. Alastor stood up straight and looked at him with the same amount of hatred as usual. But the damage was already done…

“Alastor are- are you okay? Genuinely, you look like you haven’t eaten or slept in days…” Lucifer stepped forward again.

Alastor backed against the wall. He spoke angrily to hide the small bit of fear lingering in his actions, “I’m fine, now get out before I break every bone in your small body.”

Lucifer flew a bit closer and slowly reached his hand out, unafraid of the younger demon’s threats. Alastor flinched back instinctively. After a moment Alastor took his hand in confusion. Suddenly he was pulled into an unexpected hug and he froze. Slowly he relaxed, realising he wasn’t in danger. It was… strange. He’d been hugged before but this was different. He felt small and… safe. It was strange. The only other time he could remember feeling like this was when he was alive with his mom… tears slowly poured down Alastor’s face. He hadn’t cried in forever. He silently hid his face in Lucifer’s shoulder.

It was safe… he was safe like this… even if it only lasted for a moment.

[ithinkyouhealedmyheart]

Ghostwriter ch 12

Unbetad Unedited Unhinged || AO3

Character(s): Kendall Knight, Carlos Garcia, Logan Mitchell, James Diamond, Gustavo Rocque, Kelly Wainwright, Mercedes Griffin, Arthur Griffin, Camille Roberts, Lucy Stone, Veronica Clark oc

Pairings(s): Kendall Knight/Veronica Clark, Veronica Clark & James Diamond, Veronica Clark & Camille Roberts, Camille Roberts & Lucy Stone, Veronica Clark & Mercedes Griffin

a/n: forever ago i remember wishing i got past the first few chapters of the story but now I'm past chapter 10 and its like O_O

word count: 4616

Veronica Clark didn’t know what to expect when it came to relationships. Her previous relationship was a short month-long summer fling with Craig Blonowitz, who had been a long-time friend for a while. It was nice, but they acted more like friends, and the most they ever did was hold hands. Ronnie had never kissed anyone. She had watched far too many romance movies to know what a kiss should look like, but how would she learn to kiss someone if she never got the experience? How did kissing someone feel? She knew what the lack of a kiss felt like. She knew what it felt like when Kendall yelled at her or when he talked about his ex-girlfriend. Ronnie knew what it felt like to lack something but not what it was like to have an abundance of it. 

It wasn’t wrong to say that guys always noticed either of them when she was with Addison or Callie before they even looked at Ronnie. She wouldn’t admit out loud that it was a little upsetting that neither of the guys looked at her like that either. On her own in L.A., she wanted to stop feeling like someone who had only ever been seen as the little sister or the comedic relief character. It was kind of hard to shake that feeling when she was being looked at like some sexless anomaly. Or, maybe all of this was in her head, and she was just letting it get to her because it would be strange to bring it up with James. The self-proclaimed pretty boy provided excellent advice and helped her when things got too much, but it would be weird to ask his opinion. And if she did ask him his opinion, he might just say what she wants to hear to put her at ease. 

Ronnie’s date with Curt went so well. They talked all night about movies and books they each read. He was genuinely interested in her, but she couldn’t help but feel like it was some sick and twisted joke. No one had ever looked at her twice. For a good majority of her adolescence, she felt awkward. How much was he being paid to go out with her? Why would someone like Curt want to go out with someone like her? She had wedged between two metal shelving units; it was a tight fit, but the pressure against her sides brought comfort. She felt safe, slotted in the small space, ideally like a Tetris piece. Ronnie leaned her chin on her knees and took a deep breath. The fact of the matter was she went on one of the best dates ever. Technically, it was the only date she had even been on. That didn’t make it a bad date. 

She promptly ignored the buzz in her pocket. If she opened her phone, she would throw it across the room; if she did, she wouldn’t have a way to text her dad now that he had a job. It had been three weeks, and he had gotten a job. With his skill set that made it more accessible, most jobs in Los Angeles were tailored for entertainers. Even though he found a job, she didn’t stop worrying. She hadn’t stopped worrying. Her new life in Los Angeles only distracted her slightly, but it was soon back to scheduled programming. She knew she would settle in eventually, and her life would begin to feel the same as it always had. Ronnie couldn’t help but feel like a secondary character in her life. The songwriter had always felt this way. An environmental change wasn’t going to make that go away. Her phone buzzed again, and she groaned. She squinted at the bright blue light. The light in the supply closet wasn’t off, but her eyes had adjusted to the warm yellow glow. 

“Where is your songwriter?!” Gustavo could be heard throughout the building. Ronnie flinched and covered her ears. 

Maybe she got distracted by the thoughts in her head, or she forgot about the record producer being a stickler for returning on time. If Ronnie stayed any longer in the supply closet, then Gustavo might have a heart attack or worse. She shimmied out of her hiding spot and tugged the chain on the light, dousing the small room in a blanket of darkness again. She squeezed past piles of boxes to the door, popped out into the hall, and teetered off balance. Brushing the dirt off her clothes, she hurried to the recording studio. Her hair stood on end, and she tucked it behind her ears. Since they met, Kendall had a terrible staring problem. Perhaps he was trying to speak to her with his eyes, but she couldn’t understand. If he wanted to tell her something, he should tell her outright instead of hiding it behind weird gazes. Goosebumps peppered her skin, and she looked away from Kendall. 

“I thought I asked you for a song after your lunch break?” Gustavo raised a brow, his hand open, and waited for something to be placed into it. 

“Right,” Ronnie picked up her notebook from where she left it on the ottoman against the back wall. Flipping to a particular page, she returned the book to her boss. 

Gustavo hummed and adjusted his red-tinted shades. He peered down at the neat handwriting. Ronnie waited with bated breath, hands clasped together and mentally reciting a prayer to a God she no longer believed in. 

“It’s a ballad.” Gustavo finally said. 

“Yes, but didn’t Griffin say he wanted another ballad from Big Time Rush?” Kelly chimed in, smiling from ear to ear. 

“I didn’t want you to remind me.” Gustavo frowned. 

There was a glimmer of hope that he wouldn’t shoot down the idea. If the company's CEO asked for something, he would get it, no questions asked. Gustavo looked down at the lyrics and hummed the melody to himself. The recording studio was silent momentarily. Ronnie bounced on the balls of her feet, the anticipation building like a wind-up toy. 

“Fine.” The producer sighed. “We’ll do your ballad.” 

“Yes!” Ronnie pumped her fist into the air. Kelly giggled and gave the songwriter a high-five. Her excitement was infectious. 

“But,” Gustavo held a finger up. “I’m re-writing the melody.” 

“Yes, yes. Whatever you need to change, you can go ahead.” 

“Whatever I need to change?” Gustavo quirked a brow. She had seemingly forgotten he was holding her notebook. The sound of paper ripping broke through the air, and Ronnie froze. 

Logistically, she could only assume he took the page to work on it. It wasn’t a big deal. Unbeknownst to her, Gustavo not only took the page that contained the lyrics to Invisible, but he also took a second page. There was mischief written in his eyes, but she overlooked it. Gustavo Rocque wouldn’t do anything terrible. He took her under his wing. He would advise her on how to improve her songwriting. He had multiple gold records. He didn’t need to steal her songs or trash her music to know he was better than she could be. But, there was a lesson he needed to teach her. She was far too gullible, and everyone could take advantage of that. 

Ronnie thought nothing of it when he handed her notebook back. She was in her usual spot and flipped to the page she had started writing when Kendall took her sightseeing. The song had a chorus and was somewhat finished, but she needed to move the lyrics around and fine-tune the melody. 

“Okay!” The record producer clapped his hands together. “Kelly and I scheduled a Pop Tiger interview for the end of the month.” 

“Pop Tiger! You got us a Pop Tiger interview!” James gasped. 

“What’s so special about Pop Tiger?” Ronnie asked. 

“You did not just ask that!” 

The guys had yet to file into the recording booth like Gustavo wanted, and now they were being held back even further. James grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her. 

“How have you been here for three weeks and have yet to know the wonder that is Pop Tiger!” 

“I don’t like magazines.” The back and forth was making her dizzy. 

“James! In the booth!” Gustavo snapped. 

Carlos and Logan pulled the boy off Ronnie and dragged him toward the recording booth. 

“But I have to introduce you to the world of celebrity gossip! I must open your eyes to teen quizzes and the latest fashion statement!” James cried as he struggled against Logan and Carlos. He grabbed the doorway of the recording booth. “I must grandfather you into the world of entertainment!” 

Kelly pried his fingers off the door frame and closed the door in his face. James was clawing at Carlos and Logan inside the booth, fighting against them. Kendall could only watch in disbelief at his friends. It seemed as though Ronnie’s addition to their group threw off the group dynamic. He couldn’t tell if he was upset at her or upset at his friends for acting like idiots. Or he was upset and taking it out on her because he didn’t have a bond with her that he would ruin. Ronnie rubbed her temples and sighed. Even though James was passionate about magazines, she would never pick one up. Usually, they were filled with useless information or fun facts about celebrities she didn’t know or care about. 

While the guys worked on recording for one of their songs, Ronnie sneaked a peek at her phone. She was in the right headspace to look at texts. She had since then saved James, Carlos, Logan, and Kendall’s number so that she wasn’t thrown for a loop when they texted her. There was a string of texts from Kendall, and she only opened them to make the notification disappear. When she opened the texts from Curt, she paused. They talked briefly in his car in the Palm Woods parking lot. His car was comfortable, and she was more interested in the conversation than going to bed. He made her feel like she had a chance, as if guys were interested in her. She had only ever been in Addison’s metaphorical shadow for so long. Before that, her previous friends thought it was funny whenever she mentioned having a crush. They made fun of her clothes, her hair, and her weight. Her previous friends were under the impression that if she weren’t attractive, no one would ever fathom being attracted to her. But Curt proved that wrong. The hockey player was a perfect gentleman. He pulled out her chair for her when they got to the table. He draped his coat over her shoulders as they waited for the valet. How he looked at her was far different than when Craig or Kendall looked at her. His gaze was filled with love. 

Maybe she was going too fast, but she couldn’t help it when her mind wandered. His hands didn’t wander, but part of her wanted them to. Ronnie wanted him to teach her how to ice skate or maybe even teach her how to play hockey. Her back pressed against his chest as his arms caged her in, strong hands resting on top of hers and adjusting how she held the hockey stick. The girl was lost in a fantasy when Kelly rolled her chair over. 

“So, how was your date?” The black woman whispered, glancing over at Gustavo cautiously. His assistant was hoping he wasn’t paying any attention to her. 

“Huh?” Ronnie snapped out of it. She had doodled shapes on the once-blank page in her notebook. Just in case the date went south, she texted two trusted adults on top of her dad, knowing where she was going. You could never be too careful in California. Mrs. Knight also knew about the date she went on. “It went well.” A smile bloomed across Ronnie’s face. “It was perfect and kind of what I’d imagined a first date would be like. I was initially nervous, but eventually, it felt like I was talking to an old friend. He likes Star Wars too, which is so cool!” 

“I think there will be a second date in the future.” Kelly chuckled. 

“We scheduled a second date for next week, and he gave me the perfect idea for a song!” 

“I’m glad you found some inspiration and had some fun. At least now you’ll take a break from following four teenage boys around.” 

“Well, I’m friends with Lucy and Camille, so I haven’t been spending all my time with them.” 

“Is that so?” Kelly quirked a brow. 

“What? I don’t spend all my time with them, do I?�� Ronnie blinked twice. A seed of doubt rested in the middle of her chest. She could feel its crushing weight. “Is it weird that I’m around them so much?” 

“No. No, it’s not weird.” Kelly shook her head. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. Mercedes is your best friend, and you spend time with her!” Kelly smiled awkwardly, trying to rectify her mistake. 

“Well, yeah…” Ronnie folded the corner of her notebook page. “But, I mean, it’s kind of hard with Lucy and Camille because I don’t know their schedule. And I work with the guys, so it’s just easier… to spend time with them.” 

“I get it,” Kelly gently touched her shoulder. “But pretty soon, you’ll notice they’re the only people you hang out with, and suddenly, it will be very isolating.” 

“Yeah, no, I get it.” Ronnie shuddered. She was taking the assistant's words too personally, and she knew she was taking it personally, but perhaps some small part of her mind knew that Kelly was right. “I need to branch out.” 

It had been three weeks, and much of that time had been spent with James, Logan, Carlos, and Kendall. Although she met Camille, Lucy, Mercedes, and Kevin, the guy with the guitar, she felt like she knew the guys in the band more than she knew anyone else. The thought made her feel even more alone. Perhaps everyone she met thought she was pining after one of the guys? Maybe they thought she was vying for their attention and validation. Now that she thought about it, she should have a sleepover with Lucy and Camille. She should spend more time with Mercedes, her self-proclaimed best friend. Kelly shook her head with a laugh when Ronnie pulled out her phone and started texting. She rolled her chair back to Gustavo and left the girl text in peace. 

Ronnie was never invited to sleepovers when she was younger. In middle school, she was isolated from most of her classmates on a social level because she was deemed the weird kid. She bustled around the apartment, double-checking things and cleaning things already cleaned. Her dad promised to find something to do while she and her friends hung out for the night. She felt like a chicken without a head, rushing back and forth between the living room and her bedroom. She carried pillows in from her room and pulled the boxes of DVDs out of the entertainment center for their perusal. Part of her was worried her friends would be bored. She had no idea what people did at sleepovers. Did she have too many movies? Was it a bad idea to grab a box of brownie mix? Should she have gotten cookies instead? 

She slipped on the hardwood when she heard a knock on the door. Brushing her hair out of her face, she opened the door and saw Kendall standing there. Her smile fell, and she frowned. 

“What do you want?” 

“I heard you were having a sleepover,” 

“Sorry, girls only.” Ronnie blocked the doorway. She felt strange standing in front of him in her pajamas. She kept her arms tucked close to her body. 

“Maybe you could have a sleepover with us sometime,” Kendall had a hopeful glimmer in his eyes. She quirked a brow and tilted her head. 

“Maybe. Is that all you came here for?” 

“No,” Kendall coughed into his hand. “How was your date?” He asked awkwardly, leaning against the door frame. 

“You don’t need to know about that.” She looked away, rubbing her hands up and down her arms anxiously. “That’s none of your business.” 

“You’re my friend, I think it is.” 

“Since when are we friends?” 

“I bought you sunglasses!” 

“And I appreciate those sunglasses, but we’re not friends, last I checked. At least I don’t consider you my friend.” 

“How!” 

“My friends don’t make me feel horrible.” Ronnie sighed and moved to close the door. “Goodbye, Kendall.” Unfortunately, he put his foot in the doorway to stop it from closing. 

“I make you feel horrible? You make me feel bad for caring about you.” 

“I’m tired of arguing about this!” Ronnie groaned. “God, why can’t you just accept that I don’t like how you’ve treated me!” 

“You haven’t been treating me any better!” Kendall shot back at her. “It’s like you’re demonizing me for being heartbroken over my ex-girlfriend!” 

“I am not demonizing you!” 

“Uh, guys?” Lucy cleared her throat. 

Kendall paused, mouth agape. He stepped aside when he saw Lucy and Camille in their pajamas. The rockstar gave him an awkward wave and smiled tightly at Ronnie. 

“Are we interrupting something?” She glanced between them. 

“Let’s give them some privacy!” Camille tugged Lucy into Ronnie’s apartment, a big, goofy grin plastered on her face. She was going to listen to everything they said. 

“Bye, Kendall.” Ronnie breathed as she closed the door in his face. Pressing her back against the door, she sighed and slid back down the surface. 

“Tell us about Curt!” Camille exclaimed. That was right. She told Camille and Lucy about her date but did not tell Mercedes. She wanted to tell her in person. 

“Not everyone’s here yet.” Lucy elbowed her. “What’s up with Kendall?” 

“He thinks I’m indebted to him.” Ronnie picked herself up off the floor and trudged over the beige couch. She collapsed onto the cushions and sighed heavily. “All because he pulled me out of the pool…” 

“Yeah, you should watch your back around the Jennifers.” Camille tried to sound reassuring. 

“Dude!” Lucy smacked her on the arm. “The last thing you need to tell her is that the Jennifers are out to get her.” 

“What?” Ronnie choked on her saliva. 

“It’s nothing.” Lucy shook her head. “They aren’t out to get you. At least, I don’t think they are…” 

“I didn’t even do anything to them.” Ronnie frowned and hugged a throw pillow. “Why are people in Hollywood so hostile towards me?” 

“That’s just how it is.” Camille shrugged. “Hollywood is pretty competitive; if you can’t shape up, it will eat you alive.” 

“Again!” Lucy chided, giving the actress a look. 

“It’s fine.” Ronnie chuckled. “If anything, it doesn’t scare me. I’m glad someone has the decency to tell me this stuff.” 

Another knock sounded at the door, and soon Mercedes joined the three girls on the couch. She didn’t bring her dog, for which Ronnie was silently thankful. Mercedes pajamas were polka-dotted and fluffy in bright pink. The four girls all had different aesthetics. Lucy wore a band t-shirt and dark grey sweatpants, Camille wore a periwinkle t-shirt and a pair of blue satin pajama pants, and Ronnie wore an old t-shirt stained from the many times she dyed her hair at home with a pair of elastic banded shorts. She was somewhat comfortable without her sweatshirt, but she tugged on the sleeves of her t-shirt occasionally. Subconsciously, she was scared the fabric wouldn’t be enough to hide the stretch marks on her upper arms. 

“So, how did your date with Curt go?” Mercedes asked. 

The girls sat in a circle around the coffee table, playing Uno. It was a casual conversation topic for a casual card game. Ronnie’s face flushed, and she hid her face behind her hand of cards. “Ohh! Someone’s blushing!” Camille giggled and taunted her playfully. 

“He was so– So nice…” The songwriter sighed wistfully, lowering her hands slightly. “And his eyes were such a vibrant blue color. It was crazy how blue they were.” 

“Blue like the ocean or blue like diamonds?” Mercedes asked, putting down a red seven. 

“Actually, blue like the night sky. If I looked close enough, I could have even seen stars.” Ronnie giggled. For once, it was nice to have a friendship where the other girls didn’t put her down. Addison and Callie had only ever been a solace for her in that way, but now she had Mercedes, Camille, and Lucy. 

“That’s so cute!” Camille squealed. 

“So, am I a great matchmaker or what?” Mercedes waggled her brows, nudging Ronnie.

“You’re a great matchmaker.” Ronnie beamed from ear to ear. 

“We need to get you an award,” Lucy snickered. It's solid gold, and it says World’s Greatest Matchmaker.” 

“You flatter me!” Mercedes gasped. “If I were into girls, you’d have me wrapped around your finger.” 

Lucy hid her face behind her hand of Uno cards. 

The atmosphere was comforting. The four could crack jokes and make fun of each other. Ronnie couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like if Addison and Callie were there. She hoped they would all get along. At least she was pretty sure Callie and Lucy would hit it off. Maybe even Addison and Mercedes would get along well with one another. A metaphorical lightbulb went off, and she glanced at Mercedes. 

“You’ve been texting TJ, how’s it going?” 

The blonde socialite paused in the middle of putting a card down. She glanced at Ronnie and then at the two other girls in the room. Mercedes chewed on the inside of her cheek. 

“We’ve started calling each other…” She flushed like a schoolgirl and looked down. 

“Do you like him? Is he being a dickhead? Because I swear if he’s being mean–” 

“No, no. Nothing like that.” Mercedes shook her head. “He remembers everything I tell him about it and even asks me to elaborate. It’s so nice to feel so heard. He is a sweetheart. You were right.” 

“Sounds like Kendall should take a page out of his book.” Camille snickered. 

“Ugh,” Kendall is the worst.” Lucy and Ronnie said simultaneously, which caused them to start giggling. 

“He was an okay boyfriend.” Mercedes shrugged. 

“You two dated?!” Ronnie gasped. 

“Only for thirty minutes,” Mercedes waved away her shock. “Carlos and Logan were better boyfriends either way. Kendall was too much of a pushover.” 

“Wait, wasn’t that when they thought you picked the demos?” Camille’s eyes lit up. 

“Yeah!” Mercedes laughed. “They were practically falling over themselves to appease me!” 

Ronnie looked down. Of course, Kendall wanted to make Mercedes happy. She was pretty and blonde and had a perfect figure. She shouldn’t be surprised that Kendall and Mercedes dated, even briefly. Lucy noticed the way her new friend closed in on herself and threw a card down. 

“Uno!” The rockstar exclaimed, holding her single card above her head. “I win!” 

“No fair!” Camille cried. “You threw down five +4 cards!” She accused Mercedes. 

“Hey, that’s how you play the game!” Mercedes laughed. 

Lucy winked at Ronnie, giving her a soft smile. The songwriter mouthed thank you. She would love to talk about how much of a jerk Kendall Knight was, but she didn’t want to think about Mercedes and Kendall dating. For some reason, it made her a little upset. Of course, Mercedes was most definitely his type. Ronnie seemed the furthest from his type, but it didn’t matter. She was dating Curt Haverfield, and he treated her like someone he cared about. She was pretty excited to go on a second date with him. 

“Hey, didn’t I see a box of brownie mix on your counter?” Camille got bored of playing Uno after the second round. 

“Brownies?” Mercedes' eyes lit up. “We can make brownies? I’ve never made brownies before!” 

“Well, then, let’s make brownies!” Ronnie put her cards back into the deck. 

“Oh, and then we can eat them while watching a movie.” Lucy chimed in. “I saw Scream somewhere in your collection.” 

“Scream? A horror movie?” Mercedes’ pouted. “But Halloween is over…” 

“Oh, but it’s the perfect kind of horror movie. There are hot guys in it,” Lucy grinned evilly. Luckily, that was enough to convince the blonde socialite to watch it. 

Matthew Lillard as Stu Macher and Skeet Ulrich as Billy Loomis are attractive in the movie. If Halloween hadn’t ended, and she had met Curt earlier, maybe she could have convinced him to dress up as Ghostface, and she would dress up as Sidney Prescott. Alas, it’s a costume idea for next year. 

The four girls crammed into the kitchen to set up everything they needed to make brownies. Camille preheated the oven as detailed in the instructions. Lucy measured the ingredients, putting the wet and dry ingredients in different bowls. Ronnie mixed the wet ingredients, and Mercedes mixed the dry. With four people helping, the kitchen wasn’t as messy, and they cleaned as they went. But the brownies were done after a half hour, and the four of them settled down on the beige couch to watch a horror movie. Mercedes was apprehensive but wanted Ronnie’s friends to like her, so she agreed to watch it. Throughout the film, she hides her face behind a pillow unless Billy and Stu are on screen.

Camille judged their acting and boasted she could have done better. Ronnie didn’t watch the movie, not because she had seen it a million times, but because she couldn’t stop looking at her friends. Having friends in a different city wasn’t something she would have pictured three weeks in. She initially thought she would be sitting alone in her apartment for days until someone decided to talk to her. Part of her was scared. This was a dream, and she didn’t want to wake up. Ronnie had always been afraid to step out of her comfort zone. She was scared that if she tried to be herself, it would end up in ridicule and mockery, but she wasn’t being ridiculed or mocked. 

Every night before she went to bed, she was afraid to wake up back in Vermont as someone barely noticed. It was always a gamble. Sometimes, she held her breath until she couldn’t any longer. And yet, tonight, she wasn’t afraid to fall asleep. She knew this was real life. She was surrounded by friends who cared about her and shared her interests. A guy was genuinely interested in her. Somehow, Ronnie hit the jackpot. She was lucky, and she wouldn’t take that luck for granted. But even though she wasn’t afraid to sleep, she lay awake even when her friends slept. Camille and Mercedes slept soundly on her bed, and Lucy was tucked safely in her makeshift bed on the floor. 

Ronnie carefully reached into her bag and pulled out her laptop. She plugged in her earbuds and opened the computer, praying the device wouldn’t wake the girls. She needed to write something before she lost it. She hummed the melody to herself as she typed away on the keyboard. 

Every time you come around

You put a lightning bolt on my face–

I just want to breathe until–

I want to breathe until– 

It wasn’t a complete melody, but it was something. It captured how lucky she felt, how mesmerized she was by her life. For once, she could wake up and feel hopeful. She could enjoy waking up in a place like L.A., where all her dreams come true.

[keithisbae1]

You Won't Remember Me - Part 2

CW: Angst!!

For as long as she could remember Sarada had no memory of her mother, her Papa always talked about her with great pride and love. She loved hearing stories about her, about them. Even when she found out that Mama was a human, Sarada asked and questioned Sasuke on how that was possible because everyone knew that humans and vampires were enemies. Her Papa chuckled and explained that he couldn’t help but fall for her, it probably also explained about Sarada herself. Unlike her father, Sarada wasn’t satisfied after drinking blood. She needed solid food so she would eat like a human. She favoured a lot of her Mama’s food according to Papa. And it hurt knowing she could never meet her. It was unfair, why did everyone else get to have one but her? Papa blamed himself since humans and vampires were never meant for one another so this was his punishment but Sarada didn’t get it. She couldn’t help but feel slightly envious as she would watch Boruto cry to his mother when he got hurt and how she would comfort him. Telling him he was such a brave boy and pampering him with kisses, even if he would pout saying he was ‘no baby’ and that she was embarrassing him. Or watching other human children being out with their Mama in the park, asking for ice cream, carrying them when they would get sleepy and watching as they would be picked up one by one to go home. 

Sarada’s small hand would grip onto his trousers, and he could sense she was upset. He picked up his daughter, allowing her to bury her head into his neck, letting out silent tears until she got tired and fell asleep. 

Even though her Papa had warned her to stay away from Mama, Sarada disobeyed and crept out during the day to look for her. Since she had been spying on her for a while, she had an idea of where to search first. Her mother worked in a big lab (hospital) and would often head back home at funny times. Well for a human that is, it’s no wonder how Papa met her if she always left at night. She waited and was surprised to see her leave the place early, along with a darker blonde woman next to her. “Mama!” Sarada sprang out grinning happily. 

“Oh, you again? Where’s your father?” Sakura picked up the little girl who was more than happy to be held by her mother. “You know her dear?” The other woman gave a weary look, which she didn’t quite get. It was normal for a mother to hold her daughter and this was the first time Sarada had been held by her. “I bumped into her a few weeks ago, she keeps calling me ‘Mama.’ I guess we look alike.” Again, with such strange words, Sarada didn’t understand. Why couldn’t she recognise her own daughter? She had tried to ask Sasuke, but he wouldn’t say anything. “Do you know where your Papa is?” Sakura asks smiling at the little girl. “Papa said I wasn’t allowed to see you.” There was an awkward silence with neither knowing how to respond until Sakura gave an awkward laugh. 

“Oh, is that so. I’m sure he’s only concerned about your safety.” Now the only difficulty would be how and where to find him. Surely, he couldn’t be too far, she was too young to be walking about by herself like this. “I’ll take her.” The other woman responded. “Eh?” 

“I’ll take her home, he’s probably worried sick about her. And I can see the look on your face, you need to go home and rest.” “But-” “Besides, you shouldn’t be doing anything in your condition.” At that Sakura closed her mouth, it was true she couldn’t do anything too strenuous or stress herself out. Still, something about her seemed familiar. Like a parental instinct, or maybe she was just worried for her. “I want to stay with Mama.” Sarada’s small hand gripped her shirt, again why did everyone want to separate them. All she wanted was to have her own Mama. “Ah, I’m sorry dear but she needs to rest. She’s very sick you see.” “Mama’s sick?” Sarada turned her head to Sakura studying the woman. Was this why she didn’t remember her? “Yes, don’t worry. She just needs some rest and besides I’m sure your father must be worried.” “Okay…” If it can’t be helped then she’ll go back home with Papa. Sakura almost felt guilty having to let her go but knew it was best to let her mother take care of her. The little girl seemed upset and concerned but Sakura patted her head smiling reassuringly. “Thank you Ma and I’m sorry, but she’ll take good care of you.” As Sakura walked away Mebuki let out a soft smile. “You really are like your own Mama, aren’t you?” 

~~~

Mebuki waited by the park at night, she had managed to track down Sasuke which wasn’t as difficult seeing as he was out looking for her but had requested to meet up privately so they could have a talk. The street light flickered and Sasuke was beside her in a flash. 

“Thank you for taking care of Sarada for me.” “You don’t need to thank me, dear. She’s my granddaughter. Of course, I would take care of her.” “How is she anyway?” Sasuke sighed, figuring he should be honest. “Upset, confused. She got really excited knowing Sakura is alive but…she doesn’t understand why she can’t be with her.” “I’m sure she is,” Mebuki felt horrible about taking her away from Sakura. Parents and children weren’t meant to be apart, but they didn’t have a choice. If they could both she and Kizashi would gladly help look after Sarada however that would have only made things more complicated. “Have you met anyone?” The random question took him off guard. “Anyone new I mean, a new lover? “You know it’s not as simple as that.” Vampires don’t simply find someone else the way humans do. After meeting someone, that’s it. They were their one and only. Their soulmate, their other half. There was no one else. “Right, I’m sorry.” “Sasuke… there’s something you should know. About Sakura.” 

“What is it? Is she okay?” Always worried about her, even though they weren’t in each other’s life the two could tell Sasuke would still keep tabs on them. And that’s what made sharing the news even more difficult. 

“She’s fine, more than fine but… she’s pregnant.” The words slowly sank in, and Sasuke felt himself heartbroken all over again. “I see...” “I’m sorry, we wanted to tell you sooner. But it’s not like you make it easy for us to find you and well with Sarada acting the way she does, I think it’ll break her heart witnessing Sakura be a mother to someone else.” She was too young to fully grasp what was going on, to find out the truth. And this was only going to make things more difficult. 

“That’s why I asked you about if you had anyone else, I mean it’s been so long now and well Sakura doesn’t even remember you. It’s just… you deserve to find happiness too. For you and Sarada.” “No, I knew what I was getting myself into. I won’t find someone just because Sakura has. I can’t do that.” “I understand please don’t shut that idea down. I know Sakura would want you to be happy too, to find someone else that could make you happy as she did.” He let out an uncharacteristic snort.

“That’s impossible… but if it makes you feel better. If I do find someone else… I’ll give it a shot.” Not that it’ll be easy. “And besides, I still…” The words were lumped in the back of his throat. “You still love her?”

“Ah.” It wasn’t like they chose to break up, they didn’t have a choice. They were looking forward to being a family however Sasuke had to make a choice. Losing Sakura or her memories, memories of them, of Sarada. 

As his family had warned him, the two were never meant to be and yet Sarada was here. “Thank you for telling me, I appreciate it.” He bowed and was about to leave. Even if there was someone else, if she was happy then that’s all that mattered.

However, he couldn’t just let her go. “Sasuke, I really am sorry.” He probably didn’t hear those words or maybe he did. She could only imagine what was to come now with Sarada.

[rreskk]

Thought about something really cliche but may be fun with Trevor and I wanted your view (maybe a fanfiction if you could and like the idea)

Reader's about to get married to a man she absolutely hates and Trevor is her lover that she has been secretly seeing for a long time (It's annoyed Trevor but love too much Reader to say something). Of course when Trevor knew about the wedding he decided to go take Reader back. So my question is : would Trevor be the type to go and get her discreetly so as not to cause any trouble or to walk right down the aisle, gun in hand, get her on his shoulder and leave like a king with warnings and / or insults ? I'm leaning more towards the second option but I'd love your opinion

A/N: Trevor, despite loving reader, would always raise his concerns (violent or not). He’d definitely persuade reader to try and leave, has been for the time they had loved each other. He is sensitive when reader would mention the wedding or her fiancé in general, he’d get upset and distraught.

Both ideas are something I’d love to explore! Which is why I’m writing both. 2 scenarios, 2 alternative, 2 outcomes. Enjoy!!

Summary: Trevor in both scenarios.

CRASHING THE WEDDING:

Trevor held his foot against the peddle, rummaging through traffic. His eyes were furrowed and focussed on the Church ahead. Although time was running out, he had determination to ‘swing by’ and abuse his rage for a good reason.

The morning before was emotionally devasting for him. You had almost given up on Trevor. He knew you hated the man you were about to marry and couldn’t understand why you’d let yourself do it. The past weeks were arguments over arguments over arguments. Trevor, although he finds joy in aggression and disagreements, couldn’t handle the emotional abuse anymore. He began missing how you were… Trevor mourns your kisses, your caring nature, your freedom. Picturing a wedding ring on your finger that isn’t from him? Expect explosions and the world to end.  

Using his truck to forcefully bash into the gates of the Church; he continued his travel, arming himself with guns and bashing the front doors open with his boots. He is more than fucking ready.

The ceremony was intense. You felt your dress swallow you whole. Sweat was sticking the fabric to your back and something in the air made you feel horribly sick. You spent all morning staring at yourself in the reflection while unknown ladies smothered your face in plastic makeup. The last time you saw Trevor, he was neglectful and depressed. You had to hold in your tears from morning to present- unable to cope with your loveless relationship that was now being made legal and official.

The priest slowly progressed as your soon to be husband grew impatient. He hadn’t smiled at you at all. When you were walking down the aisle, he didn’t even look at you. He exchanged looks with one of your bridesmaid instead.

What a mistake you made marrying this dirtbag.

The priest held both of your hands as he announced to the audience.

“Speak now or forever hold your peace.”

Everyone glanced at each other- seeing if anyone would challenge or disapprove of the marriage between you and your fiancé. You began wishing someone would stand up and object… But it was just silence.

“Now,” The priest smiled. “Do you take [Y/N] as your lawful wif-“

The main doors were slammed open; startling and spooking the guests and the humble priest. You felt your skin crawl as the man you truly loved staggered in with a gun hooked to his chest, and a pistol glued to his hand.

Trevor looked absolutely feral and furious. He aimed the assault rifle from his belly and shot the ceiling, the crowd sheltering under their chairs and exiting the building in sickly fear. Your fiancé screamed and dived off the stage- avoiding Trevor’s bullets until one punctured his leg and suffered a fatal casualty.

Trevor ran towards you with open arms. You kicked off your heels and buried an arm around his neck, savouring the moment as it will become a memory you won’t forget.

He saved you from the commitment of marrying a narcist. You’ll forever devote your requited love to him, something Trevor always craved from the moment you walked into his sight and touch. Now he has you; his love is complete.

DISBANDING THE WEDDING:

Trevor woke up early just to see you. He left his home in the morning hours and began swerving his car to land outside your drive. The wedding doesn’t start until noon so he’s aware that you may be asleep, but assuming you would already be up.

He had planned this day for the months you two had been seeing each other. You hadn’t of known his secret as he kept it quite and hidden- which is surprising for his demeanour and crankiness. Your partner surely knows Trevor through suspicion; accidentally walking in on you two hitting it off in your garage. Although it was a close call when you threw Trevor off the moment you heard the door open, he held his eyes close on Trevor ever since…

If you were to be married, your fiancé would probably order you to never see Trevor again. This thought would keep you up at night. A living nightmare.

Trevor parked outside your house and peeked through the windows, visibly seeing you pacing up and down your living room. He smirked to himself and decided to climb through the open window in the kitchen, as he usually does most nights to ‘see’ you.

The timing was perfect considering he creaked his way inside as you walked your way towards the stairs. Trevor snuck up behind you and held his arms around your waist, making you screech out of your skin.

“Trevor!” You gasped after identifying his tattooed hands.

Your surprise turned into worry and shame. You gave him a pitiful look with panic written across your red face.

“I can’t do this. I can’t marry him.”

He nodded agreeingly while grasping his fingers with yours.

“I know, baby. Come with me, we can ditch all this.” He grinned menacingly and desperately.

You gulped. It was a massive decision and you were most heartedly tempted to go with him… But moralistically, you had to stay.

“Trevor, I don’t know. I’ve spent so much on him… Shit, my family likes him! I can’t ditch them all.” You’d sob in his arms.

Trevor huffed annoyingly. “You can’t be doing this to yourself, or me. I thought you hated him? You can’t be marrying that himbo!”

His words were ineffective and you fell guilty of all the stress you put him in. Through every series of mental breakdowns about abandonment he faces, you are most likely the cause of his latest one… It’s killing to think about it.

“Trevor,” You whispered in his chest. “Take me away before I change my mind.”

The man almost had spasms out of excitement. The way he threw you onto his shoulder and out of the door. You watched your house fade out of your sight; wondering if you will return or not despite your decision to leave with him…

But as literature would say, love is madness, and you found madness in his love.

[ejzah]

A/N: Kensi and Deeks have a heart-to-heart.

***

The Other Shoe, Part 9

She stopped just inside the doorway. Apparently Deeks hadn’t heard her, his head still lowered over the desk. It was so rare to see him like this, in his own world, and she took the opportunity to just watch him.

He had multiple bills spread in front of him and other documents—likely insurance claims or other forms from the hospital. It was a never ending battle to keep up with all of it, one which Deeks insisted on shouldering from the beginning. A few weeks ago, she’d offered to help, feeling bad about him dealing with such a stressful aspect of the situation. Deeks had met that offer with barely contained annoyance.

Looking at him now, as tired and sick as he was, she suddenly realized that Deeks needed this. The same way he needed to work. He needed a purpose, some control over his life, even if it did tax his already incredibly low energy.

“I know I’m stunningly attractive, but staring at me for five minutes seems a little excessive.”

Kensi jerked at Deeks’ comment, not having realized he’d looked up from his work.

“Hey, what’s going on?” he asked, his frown making Kensi wonder how long he’d been watching her, and what he’d seen in her expression. He gestured for her to join him, taking her hand once she was in reach to tug her onto his lap.

It was a little more intimate than she’d been expecting for this conversation, but maybe that would keep her from stalling again.

She cleared her throat, settling a hand on Deeks’ chest. She forced herself to ignore the increased definition. “Babe, there’s something we need to talk about,” she began.

“Is it about the price of dialysis these days? Because I agree, it’s outrageous,” Deeks said and gestured to a bill for reference.

“I’m being serious.”

“Me too. Thank god we have pretty good insurance.”

“Deeks.” Kensi closed her eyes and inhaled once, holding it to a count of three before exhaling slowly. “I don’t know how to tell you this, but yesterday—”

“You checked the test results?” Deeks guessed, tilting his chin to meet her eyes. He raised an eyebrow, but otherwise, his face was a mask.

“I thought you didn’t want to know the results,” Kensi said.

“At first, I didn’t. I saw the email alert when I was at dialysis and I was really angry. I mean, I didn’t even want any of you to take the damn thing. But I figured I should probably know the results to prepare for my next appointment. And then when I saw them…” he shook his head and laughed ruefully.

“What?” Kensi asked, surprised that he might have a reaction other than relief. Especially since one of the reports was for her.

“I was disappointed,” he admitted. “I guess as much as I don’t want to match with any of you, subconsciously I assumed I would be a match. Finding out that I wasn’t…well, that’s just another avenue closed, right? I didn’t expect the defeat.”

Kensi stilled in his arms, not sure she’d heard him correctly. After so long, she couldn’t believe that he might have changed his mind. If she let her thoughts go down that path, she might start to hope, and she didn’t have the strength to have that hope torn apart again.

“How are you doing?” Deeks squeezed her hand, bringing her out of her musings. “I know you were counting on someone being a good match.”

“I was upset and disappointed obviously. I cried. But I’m glad that we still have more opportunities.” She didn’t mention that Nell was with her, figuring he wouldn’t appreciate the lack of privacy. “So, what are you going to do if one of the others does come back as a good match?”

Deeks stared beyond her for several seconds, playing with her fingers. She realized he seemed less willfully positive and determined than he had during all their previous discussions and wondered if she should worry. As much as it had frustrated her at times, she needed Deeks to be stubborn.

Finally, he nodded, his smile resigned as he cupped both of her hands between his newly thinner fingers. “Depending on who it is, I’ll consider going forward with a transplant,” he said. There was a moment of complete silence and then Kensi whispered,

“Really?”

“Yes.” Before Kensi could say anything else, he inclined his head, adding, “I’m still not completely sold on the idea and there’s a lot of caveats, but yes.”

Kensi stared at him for several seconds in disbelief, then grabbed him by the shoulders, crushing her lips to his, tears instantly filling her eyes. “Thank you,” she whispered against his mouth.

***

A/N: I hope you enjoyed this addition to the story. Happy Easter to those who celebrate!

[renee-writer]

The Heart Don't Lie Chapter 9

AO3

He stands on shaky legs. “Claire, will you come?” He imagines Rose’s mam is there and doesn’t want to face her alone. They will need to talk and have a talk with the lasses but not yet. Not while Rose is in recovery.

 

Willa mouths ‘Claire’ but neither see her. Their focus is in each other.

 

“Yes, I wish to check on her myself.”

 

They walk towards the lifts. “Dr. Randall, do you know my dad?” Willa asks as they approach the lift.

 

They share a look.

 

“I ah, knew him in uni.” She replies.

 

“Oh, that explains it, why he called you by your first name.” it is said casually but Willa knows something else is going on. It brings a strange feeling to her wame.

 

“Aye, that is why.” They enter the lift.  She is still Dr. Randall. Just because my marriage is imploding doesn’t mean hers is. I would do well to remember that. He tells himself.

 

Anna stands stiffly outside her daughter ‘s door.  She tries to smile at Willa but it turns into a sneer when she sees who is with them.

 

“Dr. Randall, I thought you were off Rose’s case.”

 

“I am here as a mate of Jamie’s.” The weight of two decades is heavy in the air. Willa frowns. Something is definitely off.

 

“How is your husband. A professor, right?”

 

“He is. He is well.”

 

“We are going in to see Rose.” He opens the door and Claire follows him in.  Willa turns to her mam.

 

“What is going on?”

 

“Daddy!” her voice is barely a whisper due to the incubation.

 

“Rose, have a sip of water.” He sits by her and holds the straw to her lips. She takes a drink.

 

“Thank you. Better. Who is…?” a wave of her hand to Claire.

 

“Dr. Claire Randall, an old mate of mine and one of your doctors.”

 

“It is very nice to officially meet you, Rose.”

 

“Thanks.” She is still woozy from anesthetics but she is no dummy, “when were you and my dad mates?” They share a look that Willa would recognize.

 

“What do you mean, Willa?” Her arms hug her and she won’t meet her daughter ‘s eyes.

 

“Something weird is going on, beyond what happened to Rose.” Her arms are crossed and she stares at her mam, “Daddy is upset.”

 

“Willa, of course he is!”

 

“Not just about Rose. Ever since you two came back from talking with Dr. Randall, something has been off.”

 

“I knew her in uni.”

She nods. “Ah, she is her. Right?” Claire frowns at Jamie. “Don’t worry Dr. Randall, my daddy and I have no secrets. It is nice, if a bit,” She takes another sip of water, “awkward when two old lovers see each other again.”

 

Claire is startled into laughing. “Crips Jamie, you really told her that?”

 

He grins himself, something he couldn’t imagine doing before. “She guested most of it. Gifted at people reading is my dau…”  he fades out as it all hit him again.

 

“Daddy, you okay?” She tries to sit up more and winces.

 

“It has been a long day. A bit overwhelming,” Claire smoothly says, “Here Rose, using the controls is better until you recover.” She shows her how to move the bed, giving Jamie time to recover some.

 

“It is nothing you need to be concerned about now.” Anna attempts to put her off.”

 

“Is someone sick? They drew our blood. Is it me, daddy, you?”

 

Anna shakes her head. “No one is sick. Jamie wasn’t able to donate, that’s all.”

 

“No. There is something else.”

 

Claire examines her. “You are doing wonderful. It will take a few days until you are able to move around. Then we will get you up and moving. It will speed up the healing.”

 

“How long will I be here?”

 

“Another day here, then a week or so in a regular room.”

 

“Beth needs to know!”

“Calm down, my heart. We will let her know. No reason to have her worrying.”

 

“Thanks daddy.”

 

“Let me give you guys some time alone “ She smiles at them both.

 

“I like her. I can see why you did,” He flushes. Her eyebrows go up, “or do?”

 

 

“Dr. Randall, please tell me the truth!” Willa stops her right outside the door, “I know there is something about the blood tests that mam isn’t  telling me. Is someone sick or dying?”

 

Anna stares off into space. No help there.

 

“No one is sick or dying. That I can tell you.”

 

“Good. But not the whole story.”

 

“Your parents will speak to you.” She tries to walk away.

 

“Please, I am an adult. You don’t  need to shield me from bad news.

 

“Willa, I…”

 

“I keep something from your dad,” her words are spit out, each one distinct, “Rose isn’t  his, not biologically.”

 

Jamie opens the door, just as she is confessing. Rose overhears. Both lasses let out cries.