#she could be based in worse part of me to show and how toxic someone can be with their friends

[biddy-biddy-biddy]

maybe i should talk/show more about my oc now that i’m thinking… idk! everyone is doing something for their ocs/self inserts idfkkkk…

like i just made her for funsies like haha what if i’m eltingville also everyone is eltingville/northwest why not do it…

[tocomplainfriend]

VIV is constantly criticized by her own fault.

TW: Mention of: SA, Rape, Transphobia, fat phobia, Antiblackness.

(Hey, i'mma probably do a post eventually about episode 4. Btw, awfully shit, worse than I thought it could be... BIG TW OF R-PE AND SA IF YOU'RE GOING TO SEE IT. AND TW of the minimization of those topics too.)

(SORRY FOR BAD ENGLISH IN THIS POST TOO)

BUT I NEED TO CALL ATTENTION TO THIS! One of the reasons I criticize a lot of Viv specifically is because of how much she puts herself out there. She sees something she posts on Twitter about it a shit ton (even on "threads" lol). AND because of how lacking of improvement she has being. (I personally know people I have considered terrible when we were teens, but I have seen legit improvement from them in recent years. They seem like people who struggle, but got to grow up and made up for any problems (or pain caused to me or others). People have the ability to change and become better. Something that matters at pointing out issues or discussing-is the idea of creating change on others. It is better to get someone to change for the better than to cast them into the forever jail of nothingness (unless, IDK, they Sexually Assaulted someone, for example). Specially when they are young people. Doesn't mean YOU have to stick with other people that hurt you, no. Doesn't mean people get to do what ever and get away with it.

BUT All of this problem I have seen from Viv are from age 19-30. (you can change at anytime btw) And see constantly repeats herself and her actions. Seems to have never accepted criticism (said by herself too), and never able to see her own faults. The fact that is a continuous behavior is a problem, how she always responds is awful. My post of "Viv has being transphobic for 10 years", was to signal that. If she really had changed over those 10 years to a genuine thing- I could've taken that! But no, the shitty double standard against trans men... the weird treatment. THE MANY STORIES OF EMPLOYEES GETTING MISGENDERED HEAVILY, TOO.

(I know people who were transphobic [When they were teens mainly], that Genuinely improved and changed their beliefs. Now they treat trans people with respect and care! And still learning about gender-fluid people, too!)

It just seems to be further and further away from getting better! The fact that she only decides to take in account voices from SA victims that agree with her- it's painful as a victim, my self!

And yes, people who sent gore or dumbass shit to Viv (or the team) don't help. And go get help why you're looking and sending Gore to anyone. (Also, stuff like this does lead to people not listening to others people genuine callouts). The fact that I criticize something doesn't mean I agree with the people that go and do shit like the thing I just mention above.

AND ALSO A IMPORTANT THING HERE!

This drawing was created by DollCreep. BUT ALSO FUCKING REMEMBER this was done in response to the shit that Viv drew of him.

If you didn't know Viv drew a transphobic caricature of DollCreep using the name Jojo (his old nickname). This put together with a shitty anti-sjw meme video. DollCreep is a transman, Viv drew a character based on him. A furry wolf girl, If you can see in the image the main thing listed below the character name is the fucking "Sex=♀️". SO ON PURPOSE, CHRIST. Like... AND YES-is shitty from both to have drawn this (even if it was in respond) mainly immature in DC part. But that, or any toxicity coming from DC, doesn't delete the transphobia here. (imagine drawing a racist caricature of a poc person, because they are shitty to you). THE POST LINKED ABOVE SHOWS THE SITUATION, and in the end of the day. Viv says that DC is an abusive shitty person to her, but never realizing her own faults or anything she could'be possibly done wrong! (and again, any wrong done by DC in general can not be deleted by the fact of having being treated badly. If he did shitty stuff himself, that doesn't delete the wrong done in general to him or to others by viv)

Here about transphobia:

(this is like 8yrs old too)

Again, she never acknowledges anything that she might have done wrong. "She is a thoughtful person, that wants tor write queer and disabled characters! She wants to tell empowering stories of..." It doesn't even feel close to that when people bring up actual problems in her writing that are stereotyping or bad, and she just yells and cries. It all feels like empty sticks she is only interested in in the surface level, she doesn't want to actually deal with.

When she says "This characters is black guys ♡♡♡" and then the fucking 7th, a grayish character with zero black features. She can not actually try and draw a black person with a different hair texture, she'll faith is hair isn't straight and spiky (has done this so much too). She is all for positivity and diversity (can not draw more than 1 character that isn't a fucking stick with the same stupid face).

She can not write relationships in general. She cannot do gay couples, then don't lean on the stupid old uke uwu defenceless x big rough seme protector stuff. Again, all the interactions with Husk and Angel are sexual harassment. They are already a revealed future couple (and episode 4 is terrible for them, specially with that song). Stolitz is toxic, and predatory. That is not acknowledged, and all Stolas's predatory behavior and power dynamics are put in the background, cause- "look how sad Stolas is :(! HIS DAD IS SOOO MEAN, HIS WIFE IS A BITCH". All her gay characters are in pure surface: over-sexual twinks that are assholes, which also fit into the top/bottom as personality boxes.

Any other point includes sexual harassment as a joke. BUT KNOW SHE WANTS TO BE LIKE "GUYS SA STORIES MATTER, LOOK AT WHAT I WROTE" as if she didn't lean back into the problem of the diminishing of SA and r- (in general and done to men) with her jokes in HB. With all the sexual harassment that Angel Dust puts on Husk and others. (AND YES THERE IS NO WARNING IN EPISODE 4, FOR ITS HEAVY TOPICS! I do believe all series/movies with this need it. SPECIALLY IF IT'S SO GRAPHIC! "Sexual content" is not the same as a warning for SA or R-pe. An adult can see a movie with sex or sexual nutidy- when they see that- but it's different to get straight assault on screen. Victims can watch movies/series with sex in them all good, you cannot just group consensual sex in the same assault or R-pe...)

The thing where Mammon (the only fat character that isn’t from the fucking background.) is like FIZZ YOU NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT. AS IF SHE COULD EVEN DRAW ANY DIFFERENT BODY SHAPE WITHOUT DYING. Like there is only Mimzy (hasn't appeared yet, not given any importance. In the female lead show). Mammon the piece of shit (does the same as Blitz, but he is actually fully bad.) His design is done with 80 fucking layers on top. Like all the test of the skinny character's clothes suck up to their body except for Mammon. His body is hidden in layers upon layers of clothing (that's all you got?). All you main guys need to fill "the skinny have nothing men" and "skinny woman with big hips and legs, but no fucking stomach"?

AND YES! VIV DOES DO THE FUCKING, "FAT = FOOD LMAOOO". You know the thing HH fans and hater where like the "Bee needs to fat thing is bad, cause of fat = food (only food) is reductive and shitty"

(Can I refer to how the show Bojack H, make Diane gain weight cause of anti depressants- and it wasn't a joke! And she was happier too?)

(mine, from post right below)

... like is a bundle of issues. And Viv will never accept that she might be /or is wrong. That's why it hits the fan with stuff. -And again I liked many of the little concepts and stuff in HB and the original pilot of Hazbin. Shit- I still like Sir Pentious and Nifty. I do like Mammon as much as he is a pack of problems to call out, I fucking love the piece of shit Australian jester- The artist work hard on it, and I'm happy it's an openly queer! (as limited as it gets, too....). I liked Huni-cast, I loved the original voice cast! -and that happens! I could be writing this about other stuff too, not only Hazbin... if I created this blog earlier- IT WOULD ALL BE ABOUT RWBY, DANGANRONPA, even svtfoe...Ladybug... or Agretsuko's ending too. So yeah, sorry for the long post (as if all my post weren't)

[pruneunfair]

"My feelings on" part 9: Resetting lady, how it uses too much edginess and shock value, examples of edginess done well.

I normally can reread a book rather easily even if it was awful but this one took the whole cake, it was painful to go back and fourth to read.

Synopsis: essentially the FL Karen has died and came back over 100 times (the exact number can vary based on translation but it's usually 117) and because of the endless cycle of dying, regressing, trying different tactics only to die again. Karen officially goes off the deep end and becomes a lunatic.

The synopsis sounded like the beginning of a creepy pasta which really intrigued me into reading 20 chapters but after 5 chapters it stopped being interesting and just got confusing. So to keep readers interested, I've noticed that the plot of resetting lady relied on shock value from it's edgy story line. Within the first few chapters Karen already kills someone via strangulation, at first you think it's Isella, a snobby rich girl who got Karen killed a few times before but its revealed it was actually a maid named Nancy (who also killed Karen in one of her past lives) and thats only one of the deaths. Now obviously that doesn't make the story bad on it's own, after all the summary of the book tells you she's going to murder people.

HOWEVER it's how its executed that makes it honestly cringe worthy. The vibes I got from Karen seemed like a mix of Jeff the killer and someone's joker impression. Like a self insert you'd make when you had a bad day and you want something to get that anger out of you. There's also times where there's just little build up and BOOM! someone dies by Karens hands, some of the characters honestly don't even deserve death.

The plot also jumps back and fourth and since the translation isn't that great it became tiring to actually read it. The ortolan chapters for example started out with a good idea of the dishes resembling greed but then it just got dragged out and confusing. I see what its trying to do but ehh.. it feels as if less effort was put into it so all the time could be spent on the blood and violence, most of it is either just political story lines that get dragged on or a true crime plot

Its not like it's impossible to have edgy content either there's 2 ways edginess can work.

1: serious plot with balanced edginess

Sister im the queen in this life is an example of a serious plot with balanced edgy humor, I may not like it too much but it balances the edgy tone with a light hearted moments relating to Arabella and Alfonso along with the blood and violent behavior being kept at a minimum, Ariande may be a little unhinged and is an evil person but she still works for the most part because her character doesn't feel embarrassing to follow all the time. Another example of media with a lot of edgy humor is an anime I'm a big fan of: Devilman Crybaby, a 10 episode anime that starts off with a lot of gore and TONS of sexual humor but evolves into a deep and tragic tale about two friends ever-growing toxic relationship and how it led to the sucker punch of an ending. I would explain further but honestly Devilman Crybaby is an anime you should watch yourself all the way through to get the full feeling.

The second example of how edgy humor can be done correctly is: A goofy storyline with lack of an actual plot full of as much edgy humor as possible. Now this style is less liked seeing as it's not for everyone (for good reason too) but sometimes you will find yourself a funny dark humored show or book that's just shock humor but it's the right setting and tone to have that level of edge lord humor. Robot chicken is an example of this style and yes it has started to devolve in a lot of ways but nevertheless remainds iconic for its style and humor.

What makes Resetting lady worse then these examples? It tries to be a serious plot with complex characters yet it still tries to hamfist in constant blood and death combined with long arcs that keep bouncing back and fourth. It doesn't have the entertaining plot to keep you invested and it's shock value humor gets old quick when you realize it's the same thing your supposed to be rooting for.

But by far the worst thing resetting lady has done was this

Karen SA's her fiancé and continously disrespects him when he tells her no. This was what really ruined Karen's character and honestly the entirety of the comic when you realize they want you to sympathize with a sexual abuser.

Now I'm the queen in this life and robot chicken dont handle SA great either but at the very least when there is SA you aren't expected to sympathize with the perpetrator, Resetting lady however pushes it to the side because she's unhinged and a troubled FL so that means she's immediately justified in the eyes of the narrative.

By now I stopped reading the rest of it because it was becoming a genuine chore.

Conclusion: Edgy humor and shock value have its place and making a story revolving around said humor isn't bad on its own as long as it's executed properly but resetting lady executes it in one of the worst ways possible, the humor is stale, most of the characters are either extremely unlikable yet your supposed to like them or they have little personality, only ones I was more interested in were Isella and Dulan.

[blond3ang3l]

NSFW Toji x black AFAB! reader

She/her pronouns

Based off of this prompt (reader is also spoiled as fuck)

Imagine that … and … lived together. … comes home one day and hears loud moaning coming from their bedroom, recognizing … voice. … assumes, to their horror, that … is cheating on them, and they rush to the bedroom and open the door. Instead of seeing a cheating partner, … actually walks in on … masturbating/using sex toys while moaning out … name.

Cw- choking, use of a vibrator, pussy slapping , mentions of a gun, lots of talk bout jealousy, a bit of toxic toji

 She always had eyes on her, that’s just part of being Toji’s pretty little girlfriend. Being spoiled relentlessly since she very much deserves it. Him paying for her braids, taking her out all the time just to show her off, giving her his card whenever she even glance at something in stores. It’s nothing he wouldn’t do for her. And of course all he ask back is respect and loyalty.

He never doubted you, I mean hell as big as his ego is he doesn’t think there’s anyone better than him. So when he walks into you guys shared home and heard moaning his heart fucking dropped. You couldn’t possibly be cheating on him; especially not in your shared home.

He grabbed his pistol from the holster off his waist, cocking it and stomping over to you guys room. Without even bother knocking he slammed the door open making you jump in surprised. Looking up to see Toji slamming your closet door opening. Still trying to understand what was happening and why he was so pissed you could barely hear what he was saying. Once you saw the gun you immediately feared for the worse and started asking him what was going on.

“Where the fuck is he y/n?!” Toji asked as he walked over to you. “Who?!” Your eyes widened knowing Toji would never even lay a finger on you, you assumed someone had broken into the house. His face started to get red in anger as the room was basically trashed from him looking for the mystery man.

He grabbed your face so you made direct eye contact. His gaze softening a bit as he looked down at your pretty dark eyes before hardening. “Where’s the fucker that you had in here hm? You think you can just bring another man in our god damn house.I��ll fucking kill and you know damn well I will.”

You grabbed his wrist and glanced at the vibrator next to you. Seeing you not keeping eye contact he looked over at what you were and let out a sigh of relief. “Shit baby..”

“Cmere.” You pulled him closer to you and took the gun out his hand placing it on your nightstand. He rested his forehead on yours before placing a kiss on your plump lips “Can’t believe I thought you fucking cheated on me.”. He left a trail of kisses going down from your lips down to your chest.

A small moan left her feeling his tongue press against her tit. His hands slid from her waist down to her ass giving it a rough squeeze earning him another pretty moan. Hands gripping his hair as he laid her down onto the bed, sliding the large t-shirt (that was definitely his) up. A smirk growing on his face seeing she already had nothing on underneath. “Since you were having so much fun without me how bout you give me a show princess~”.

You could feel your face get hot as his rough and scared hands traveled all over your body. Slowly coming to a halt when he got to your clit, giving it a slap causing you to wince. “I asked you a question didn’t? Or have you already fucked yourself dumb to the point you can’t comprehend the simplest shit.”

A pout grew on your face which quickly went away when you were suddenly flipped on to your stomach. Hearing a buzzing noise from behind you, you were quickly aware of the situation you were in.

Feeling the vibrator pressed against your clit making you throw your head back making him smirk. “Shit!~ T-toji wait”. Gripping the sheets she pushed her hips back earning a hard smack on the ass making her wince.

Not being able to take anymore Toji quickly pulled his pants along with his boxers down. He thrusted into her harshly making her arch her back. His pace was quick and rough, not even giving her a moment to adjust. The sound of skin slapping and moans quickly filling the room. His hand still covering her mouth as he leaned into her neck. His warm breath making her shiver under him. His free hand roaming her curves and going down to her clit slapping it. Her eyes widened and she threw her head back feeling him slam into her g-spot.

“Had me fucking scared baby you know that. Thought you wa- agh! Fucking giving my pussy to some other guy. You’re mine baby you got that. I’m the only person that’s gonna fuck you like this.” He leaned to closer to her ear yanking her hair making her look up.

"This what you fucking needed huh~? You never fuck with who anyone made you feel this good princess?" He chuckled, grabbing her hair yanking her head back. His chest pressed against her back. "Ngh~ No baby, none one has ever made me feel this good. Can't even make me cum." It was a struggle for her to even get her thoughts together with her rough he was going.

His big hand wrapped around her throat. "May be that's a sign that no man should be touching my pussy." delivering another slap to her clit making her wince. Her eyes rolled back and she moaned his name loudly. He put his hand on her back making her arch it more. Tears started filling up in her eyes which only fueled him more.

“Gonna cum daddy!” She gripped the sheets as tears of pleasure ran down her face. He leaned down giving her a rough and deep kiss. “Cum for me baby” he mumbled against her lips. She threw her head back while she came, her legs spasming as she did. With a few more thrust he came deep inside her.

After a few moments he pulled out and rested his forehead against hers. “I love you so fucking much baby.” Hearing that out a smile on her face. “I love you too baby”.

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

Non BL Fan watches Only Friends

Hey. Yeah so I'm still on this. So when Only Friends ended, it left kinda of a bitter taste in my mouth. I liked a lot of things about it but by the end it really didn’t leave a good impression. There’s been a lot written about it, about expectations, and branded pairs, and how fandom may have played a role in this, and how the writing maybe because of that kinda took a turn midway through the show. And it kept bugging me that these opinions were also rooted in our understanding of this type of media, and everything that comes with it. Be it branded pairs, all the bls that came before or the industry as a whole. But I couldn't really have any perspective because I'm part of the problem. I'm too close. So, the only way for me to kinda get over this was to get someone far removed from this to watch it. And here is where my friend Neely comes in. They're not a bl watcher. The only bl they ever watched was Choco Milk Shake which I think we can all agree would not influence their viewing of Only Friends. They are however the only person who I talk to about bl, or the only person who has the patience to listen to me, whenever I’m feeling particularly annoyed about something or just wanna share a good moment. I immediately sent them the olive oil scene (with only a tiny bit of context) because it was so beautiful that I needed to scream with someone about it. So anyway, I asked them to watch the show. They knew a couple of things about it, because I complained to them about it at the time, but they has no reference for it so, I don’t think that I influenced the viewing that much. Also they're pretty unbiased about everything.

So last night they watched the first 4 episodes and I’d like to share their thoughts with everyone who like me might be curious. Because they're the best person ever, he wrote a whole text about it so I could share. Also we're almost at the end of the year and this might be the thing that finally closes this chapter for me. This is what they had to say after watching the first 4 episodes.

(I'll be adding my own thoughts in purple)

After 4 episodes, mostly I think it's really predictable plot wise for anyone who's watched a general TV western series, like a Netflix production, which I was maybe surprised. The ways to cause drama and plot advancement are very similar. Of cpurse this is me saying this based on the other BL I watched (Choco Milk Shake) which felt much more out of the expected canon.

Just to get this out of the way: they're all toxic and terrible people, to the extent I find it very hard to connect to any of them. Just in the exposure parts of ep1 there's all of them being horrible to Ray for being drunk – even though they also are? - and to top it up later on they're all drunk, and the woman (sorry I should know her name but it's not like they're giving her any storyline or screen time (aside from, I almost forgot, randomly spraining her ankle 😂) for me to remember) I thought that the fact that this was obvious to them from the beginning was very interesting because I maybe gave them more rope in the beginning to expand on her because I thought she was gonna get more later. she's even drunker it seems but they all fall on Ray only; they literally complain he wants another drink and judgementally go "ewww more drinks don't you think it's enough" and dig into his drinking, he leaves, and then they continue drinking? This got even darker to me when the suicide attempt is revealed, and from then it became really hard to consider them friends? Maybe Mew and Ray but the dynamics of that are anyway weird. This is something I myself struggled with all through the show, like how are these people even friends? and I understand the point illustrated by @bengiyo in this post but I still couldn’t get over that. And maybe that’s just the way I see friendships that these people looked even worse in my eyes. Like I cannot compute them treating Ray like that, even if they're done of his drinking, when they know where he's at emotionally. It also doesn't feel they ever tried to help him so I don't think they have the right to be done, just feels like they don't care.

Top, toxic from day one with this challenge attitude towards fucking the virgin; and the gross way he speaks about it with Boston. It's a big no from me to both of them. It's not even them hooking up for me, Top is just kinda sleazy, manipulative, hyper entitled, I do not take anything he says as truth because he just feels so double faced to me. Even just these episodes he's already shown so many cracks: hiding the hook up with Boston (which I'm beginning to feel was more than a hook up?), the whole random drug dealing thing, how he objectifies Mew like a virgin-trophy when talking to Boston, how he manipulates him and also his weird jealousy and control. Ok, this is where I admit I was completely wrong. I thought that way of seeing Top was very influenced by the promotional material and the way the crew and actors talked about the character. And yet, without any prior knowledge he immediately disliked him. I was not expecting that to be honest. And in this case maybe I just wanted the character to go in a different direction so I kept not seeing the pretty obvious red flags. I mean I saw them but tried really hard to look behind them. My bad. Although we could both agree that he’s gorgeous.

I don't like Mew, but I don't think it's the characters fault or how it's written. It's just the troupe of character writing, especially in gay shows, that I can't stand. It's kinda cancer vibes (astrology lol). A bit not necessarily overt but a general sense of holier than thou cause he's a virgin and "has standards". I don't think he's leading Ray on, I think he actually kinda communicates well he just wants friendship. He could be clearer but also this is TV, so we need slight unclearness for drama purposes lol, but I'm not mad about that. Miss communication is the bane of my existence but it apparently makes for compelling television. Or not.

But generally this hot fuck everyone guy falling for the kinda dorky virgin is so dull to me, this virgin is always this weird insert of purity, more often than not an insert where the writer in one way or another projects himself into, to be able to judge the rest of the community, the moral compass (read: normative in terms of society expectations, also kinda mildly Christian coded, like girl next door in the village), and I do always find it a bit queerphobic. I'm not saying there aren't queers like that and that they shouldn't be represented, but the very intense and obvious writing decisions to position him as this moral center (also visually he's always wearing whites and pastels? Virgin mew, Virgin Mary! Lol) that makes all the other characters, often queer, seem kinda dirty and mean and unprincipled. I have nothing to add here because I agree with them on most of this, and I also think that it was never a coincidence to have a virgin in the middle of this group, to serve as the barometer of right and wrong. Cause he's the pure one so he must know what's right. I disliked mew almost instantly when the show started, because I always thought he was just a terrible friend and that’s the greatest sin of all. A small note that I think it's hilariously dumb that he's been protecting his Virginity for all this time and so like "omg it's hard for me, omg I go slow, omg I have a check list" and then it's like "you drop coke I drop pants", virginity done lol. This was just funny and accurate.

I am not talking about Boston right now cause I hate him. And I also hate that they wrote the slut in such a cliche but I do think they did. I remember you saying something people attacking him too much and him being slut-shamed, but he's written as villain quite clearly. Lol I think he's leading mobile phone shop guy on, it's very player manipulation vibe to be always giving him just a bit more to keep him going and the promise of something more open, when we know he just wants to fuck, and especially fuck when he's butt hurt about Top and Mew. And the way he's treating Mew, terrible friend; and also the advances on Top are far from boundary and consent-based lol. But also Top doesn't feel very interested in getting out, he just weirdly stands there silent being licked in the neck, so I blame both on that whole thing. I have to say that I never really read the shower scene like others might have, like obviously Boston was being terrible to Mew in that moment and not respecting Top's boundaries, but I also didn't see Top as helpless in this moment.

I think the only pair that gets away with actually being cute and not toxic and manipulative is Sand and Ray, they're my faves. Yey!! I find them very endearing and with so much chemistry. They're the only characters who honestly genuinely said sorry to each other and had some accountability when they fucked up with each other.

Even tho I'd like a bit more from Sand about the whole "burden to society" comments at the start - they annoyed me so much. The others it's manipulation after manipulation for me, and it doesn't allow me to get into them so it feels like deep lack of chemistry. Top and Mew's relationship feels really really really meh to me. And I don't know why they're friends, also cause very little of them as friends gets shown after ep1. Well they have the school project that keeps them together but other than that really, why? As I explained above I really struggled with the friendship aspect of all this.

But generally, I feel like the editing and writing are very like Mew is amazing and the others are horrible, and we do just get scenes of everyone being shit and Mew not being great but being naive and cutesy with a hint of superiority. Also you're a virgin your not a thumb stone, give your boyfriend a kiss sometimes. I thought this comment was hilarious but also obviously from a non bl watcher because that didn’t register to me, because I’m so used to boyfriends being so shy around kissing in bl that it didn't even cross my mind.

I think I'm slightly meh by all of them but partly is maybe my expectations too - I knew this one specifically was a bit westernized, but I was nurturing this little idea that it would feel a bit different, that some of the ways things were explored would feel different because of the cultural differences, but I do think you could sub all of the actors for white us-americans and the script would fly, you could probably even set it in a progressive state in the us and wouldn't have to re-write much.

So, I might totally be talking out of my ass, but what I'm left thinking is: is there really no culturally specificity to queer community there? is really all queerness and promiscuity in Thailand this performance of the west? Maybe it is, because of different social rules and expectations and freedoms, I really am not knowledgeable enough, but I'm just wondering if it's that or if it's just being made to be more palatable to me. And I think that's fine as a choice for them to know target audience, but I'm left wondering how the actual scene is in Thailand, what the social pressures are there and how they navigate them, specifically at this nexus of queerness and promiscuity. I also don’t know enough about the culture in Thailand to speak about it but I do agree with the point that this show could be made in us tv and they really wouldn’t need to change much. Without knowing anything about the creators of ofts, aside from the fact that they’re queer, they said later that they would compare it to something that Ryan Murphy could produce.

_

After I read this I had a chance to video chat with them briefly , and there were a couple more things that came up that I thought were really interesting. they were asking me about the actors and how well known they were, etc. Because they thought that the characters were purposefully being shown as really flat, and just bad with no redeemable characteristics and that maybe because the fandom already knew them and already liked them, they could do that without needing to waste time making us care for them, by giving us their good sides. Which I never really considered, but as with most things, our prior knowledge might play a part in this too. I know at least for me, I'm not gonna lie, the fact that I like Khaotung definitely made me care for Ray from the start in a way that maybe I wouldn't normally have.

Anyway, they'll continue to watch it and I'll probably post more of thoughts in the future. I also started to rewatch it slowly so I'll definitely keep thinking about this. If you've made it this far, thanks for reading. 💜

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for adapting a situation I have been in/witnessed in real life into something I'm writing?

Okay, that doesn't sound as bad as it is to me on its own. Will probably seem worse with context. Here goes, and buckle in, it's a long one.

Five years ago, I (20 at the time, she/her) had this friend, who I'm going to call Alex (21 at the time, genderfluid). Alex was in this relationship with a pansexual guy who I'm going to call Mark (24 at the time, he/him). To me and the rest of Alex's friends, the way Mark treated Alex sent up some major red flags. He was insanely possessive, always spoke over Alex whenever Alex made a point or talked about something he didn't like/approve of, whenever they weren't together he'd be texting or calling Alex to ask where Alex was and who Alex was with, and would say who he thought Alex should and shouldn't associate with and enforced it to the best of his ability.

I and the rest of Alex's friend group would try and bring it up as gently as we possibly could, and Alex would either become quiet and unresponsive until we changed the subject or lash out and tell us it was just a phase in the relationship that 'all couples go through' and that we should just 'leave it alone'.

It remained a wedge issue between us until a mutual friend decided we should have a big lart at her house after a Pride Event. Alex and Mark arrived together and stayed joined at the hip until somewhere between 1 am and 1 thirty am, which was when I lost sight of them.

At 1 thirty one, I went out into the mutual friend's back garden to get some air because the house was stupidly hot and smelled like weed. I found Alex crying. After a while, he (preferred pronouns at the time were he/him) told me he'd seen Mark kissing someone he didn't know. He also said that he didn't want to go back to the flat he and Mark shared because of it. I offered to let him stay at mine for the remainder of the night, saying we'd talk about it in the morning.

At that point, Mark came outside and saw me with Alex. He said something like "Babe, I know I messed up, but you don't have to show me how bad it feels." I said to Alex that we were leaving and we made it to the side gate when Mark called "Please, I can make this right, we can be a couple again. I just... I have needs, you know?" Alex didn't respond, but I did. I shouted that his needs weren't a get-out-of-jail-free card for being a shitty person or something like that. I think I would be a JAH if I were asking about that situation

About a week after the party, Alex and Mark broke up. Alex and I both moved away, but to different places and we lost contact.

Anyway, I sat down to write something (I won't say what) and it involved a toxic relationship. About halfway through writing, I stopped and realised I was basing it on Alex and Mark's relationship, and started getting paranoid about them seeing it if I put it out into the world. I abandoned that story, but I really enjoyed writing the parts that weren't about the toxic relationship.

Would I be the asshole if I continued writing it?

What are these acronyms?

[percabething]

Is It Over Now?

Pairing: Conrad Fisher x reader

Word count: 1.2K

Synopsis: you always thought the worse thing that could happen was losing him, but it was losing you.

warnings: angst, underage drinking, jealous belly, Conrad being low key toxic.

hi hi hi. I’m new in the fanfic side of tumblr and this is my first fic and it’s based on the new Taylor Swift song “Is it over now” ^^. I really hope you guys like this! also english is NOT my first language so if I made any mistakes I’m so sorry. Enjoy! Also if anyone knows how to enable the request thing pls, pls show me😭

It was the night. Tonight Nicole’s throwing her madly known summer batch. Absolutely everyone was going. You were getting ready with Belly at the Fisher’s. You’ve always loved them, the Fisher’s. You loved that house and you also loved Conrad Fisher.

He, for you, is everything that’s right. You and Conrad have always been close. He is the one you went to when everything was wrong and he always found a way to make everything right. Now here you were getting ready with Belly. You were almost done when both of you heard a knock on the door. It was Jeremiah.

“Are you guys almost done? You guys always take wayy too much time getting ready.”

After that Steven chimes in and says jokingly “Right! And for. What is not like you guys are getting any tonight”. Belly shoves him to the side and rolls her eyes “Shut up Steven, if anything you’re the one not getting any tonight”.

She points to his shoes. His shoes had a drawing of Homer Simpson on them. “What? The Simpson are so in right now” You laugh at the scenery, but you can’t help but wonder where Conrad is.

“Steven, have you seen Conrad?” You ask.

“Um, he was downstairs just a bit ago.”

“Oh.” you said.

You couldn’t help noticing the way Belly’s head turned when you mentioned Conrad. “I've got to, um get my hairbrush i think i left it in the living room, i'll be right back” you said standing up and getting out of the door. Belly’s eyes following your body as you close the door behind you.

Once you’re downstairs you see Conrad. He has his feet in the pool and he’s smoking. A habit he’s been feeding into way too much in your opinion. You walk out and sit next to him.

“Hey.”

You said. You and Conrad were always so different. You were this combination that just worked perfectly. But this summer it has been so different.

“Hey.” he says back. Not trying to continue the conversation.

“So.. are you going to Nicole's thing, you know with us?” You said turning your face to face his side profile. He looked so beautiful. His blue eyes shining as the moon reflected on them.

“Yeah, just for a bit though” The last part made you curious. Conrad Fisher was someone who couldn’t resist a hell of a good party and for some reason this summer he was so out of touch with everyone and everything, and you’d be lying if you said that it didn’t hurt you the way he’s been brushing you and everyone he loves, away.

“Well, I don't think you should leave the party early.” You turned your body to the front and looked up to the moon. It was a full moon tonight. As you were looking up, Conrad was staring at you the whole time. His eyes focused on the way your lips looked so good with that maroon lipstick you had on. How that eyeshadow that you were wearing made your eyes pop up. In his eyes, you looked like the moon.

“You know I read somewhere that on full moon days, you have 63% to meet your soulmate.” As you said that, you turned to look back at him and noticed how he was staring at you. His lips formed a half smirk.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah!” You said chuckling and the two of you laughed when you heard someone walking into you guys direction. It was Belly. She looked at you and Conrad together and took a heavy breath.

“We’re leaving so..” Conrad took his feet out of the pool and put on his sandals and without even turning to you, he followed Belly out. It was always like this with Conrad, some days you and him would have a connection but then he was reminded that belly existed.

All of you guys arrived, the place was absolutely packed. Quickly you guys separated. Belly was with Nicole and her friends and you tagged along since, you really didn't know anyone from this scene.

All the time your eyes scanned the room for Conrad. You saw him. He was with a brunette girl with dark brown eyes. She was wearing a green dress with some very cute sandals. In a way the girl he was talking to, reminded you of Belly. In your head you surmised that since she looks so much like Belly he would probably date her.

To get your head off him, you started talking to this guy, you couldn’t even remember his name all you knew was that both of you were in a very intense make out session and that you could definitely taste straight up tequila in his mouth. You opened your eyes and Conrad was looking at you as he took a sip of his beer. He quickly looked away, and that’s it. You couldn’t keep your tongue down this random dude's throat. You stopped him and told him that you were going to the bathroom. You cleaned the smushed lipstick from the sides of your lips.

You knew Conrad and you were never meant to be. But sometimes you don't understand. Were you the only one who felt the sparks whenever your eyes would lock in crowded rooms? You got out of the bathroom and you decided, since this night was kinda sucking and you couldn’t get your mind off Conrad, to get drunk as fuck.

To help me loosen up. You told yourself.

It was one drink, after another. You were having the time of your life. Dancing and talking to people. You were the best thing at this party. You were dancing to every song that came on. Until you saw something in the corner of your eye.

Conrad and Belly were talking. And usually you wouldn’t give that much thought into it, you knew they’ve known each other since they were babies. But this wasn’t a normal conversation. Conrad was leaning into the wall and Belly was laughing at whatever the hell he was saying. He whispered something in her ear and when he backed up Belly leaned in and kissed him.

Your heart dropped to your stomach. Your mind was traveling to so many places you didn’t even know what to do. You were sweaty, and drunk and now completely heartbroken. You passed in front of them. You made eye contact with both of them.

“Fuck you.” You said to Conrad.

And to Belly, you couldn’t even say anything. It was like the words just got stuck on your throat and couldn’t get out of there. So you just looked at her and got the hell out of there. You didn’t have a ride. So, you went to the beach and sat on the sand.

You hated that the only thought you had was to get in the water and scream and drown just to see Conrad running and say the one thing you’ve been wanting. Which was that he loved you.

But he didn’t. So you sat there. And sunk your feet in the sand and didn’t call anyone. Not your mother, or any friend. Just you and the ocean thinking. It 's over now.

[marshmallowprotection]

Thank you Kait for the previous post! Honestly it baffled me a lot as well when I come across that kind of people. Saeran/MC will never be codependent in my eyes when this phone call literally exists on day 10 of his route. We're not even going through the AE yet. That's right people. He actually knows and learning how to make decision for himself/what he feels right instead of following other people's choices 😩😩

People want to believe what they want to believe, and at the end of the day, I don't want to waste my time or energy trying to convince other people that Saeran/MC isn't what they think it is.

If they don't see the way Ray Route and the RAE is setting up the clear narrative foils between V/Rika and Saeran/MC to show the differences between an unhealthy relationship where two people are obsessed with the idea of the other and run with that and a healthy one between troubled people who're trying their best to make sense of the world together and by themselves, I don't know if they will.

I'm not saying Mystic Messenger does the very best job at explaining many of these themes narratively, but I am saying if you read what's in front of you and think about it, the answers are there and it doesn't hide itself from you. If you're looking, you can see it.

However, I know a lot of people don't understand the complexities that exist between V and Rika, either. I get it, I know why people are fast to hate them for justifiable reasons, but if you don't understand the dynamics of their relationship, you gloss over a huge part of the story when it comes to what the game is exploring with Saeran and MC. I'm not telling people to care about V or Rika when I say that, I am saying that if you want to talk about toxic codependency, then your answer is V/Rika.

Maybe I have an easier time understanding the dynamic between V/Rika because there have been times where I've been like Jihyun, and that uncomfortable mirror has helped me become a better person. I am grateful to Jihyun for that. Someone wrote in my tags yesterday that V and Rika aren't about who is the perfect victim or the perfect abuser, they're two unhealthy people who are trying to cling to each other to cope in the most toxic way imaginable.

Neither of them will ever be wholly innocent as their actions hurt each other other and many of the people around them. Could we argue semantics on who did something "worse?" Yeah, you could argue that up and down because there's layers to the things both Rika and V have done. But the core of their relationship is built on unhealthy codependency. They cling to each other and as long as they do that, they'll continue to burn like a wildfire.

It's not healthy.

Jihyun even acknowledged how unhealthy it was in the RAE for him to shelter Rika. It's that awareness he has that makes me upset with him, because he'll destroy himself to keep his promise, and in doing so, destroys everyone around him because of it. Sometimes, you've got to understand that your dependency on another person isn't the healthiest thing. You have to make boundaries and start working on getting away from that dynamic, or you need to go and straight up leave.

Saeran and MC do not act and react to situations in the Good Ending the same way that Rika and V react and act to situations that they're thrust into. Saeran and MC are partners, they work together, confide in each other and make decisions based on trust. But, what they do is not based on what the other wants.

Your image shows that.

MC: Would you stop working with them if I asked you to stop? Saeran: To tell you the truth, no, I'll continue on. If it was before, I would've done what you told me to do, but, I want to persuade you now.

V and Rika don't communicate like that. V "shelters" Rika from what she has to face even though he knows it's wrong because he feels like that is the only way to prove he is giving 1000% of his life to ensure his mother didn't die for "nothing". Rika leans into the obsession she holds for Jihyun, continuing to view him as a God who will save her from her devil, even though she knows, deep down, he can't save her from her nightmares.

God. They drive me up a wall all the time but they are the ones we need to look at if we're going to talk about characters who have an unhealthy attachment to each other.

[zukkaoru]

oh gosh i already know like. all of these but ummm here are some options!!!

outlaw queen or kunichuuzai for ship

umm if you’re in the mood to complain, kouyou x yosano (idk their ship name) or emma x hook for the do not ship!

also did you know that. ily.

hi corey did you know that. ily🥰 also i am not going to get into why i don't ship emma and hook today i think. that will only make me worse. so i will refrain.

kunichuuzai

What made you ship it?

kunidazai compelled me in season 1 and skk compelled me in season 2 and i was like well. dazai has two hands. and then the more i thought about the potential kunichuu dynamic, the more i was like you know what they ALL have two hands!!

What are your favorite things about the ship?

they could help each other heal...... can anyone hear me. they can be home for one another!! they can be the only ones who see each other as human!! they can be vulnerable around each other!! they can be gentle around each other!! they can build a home for themselves!! they can make each other better and help each other grow!!

but also. first they have to fight to get there. they have to overcome their differences and they have to struggle to make anything work when they're part of rival organizations and they have to decide whether or not this is worth the effort it's going to take and they have to realize that love is a choice that they will have to make over and over again. and i do really like when it starts as dazai being forced to accept that he wants both kunikida and chuuya. because dazai is so bad at wanting things but when it comes to this, he wants more than he thinks he can have which is cruel and unusual punishment except!! it's not impossible!! and in the end, he does get what he wants!! and it turns out even better than he could have ever expected!!

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

kunichuuzai is superior to skk. also i think there is underutilized potential in dazai and kunikida being together first and chuuya joining later BUT there is underutilized potential in kunichuuzai as a whole so. i am very happy to see any and all of it

-

outlaw queen

What made you ship it?

you're gonna bully me so hard for this but um. i actually watched ouat out of order. which i'm blaming on my parents bc they only let me start staying up to watch it when season 3 was airing even though my sisters got to stay up and watch it when they were like eight but it's FINE anyway. so i found out that robin was regina's soulmate at the same time regina did - during the scene in zelena's cabin. and i was like oh??👀 OH???? and everything was downhill from there basically

What are your favorite things about the ship?

they were each other's second chance.... they were soulmates..... regina's happy ending was finally feeling at home in the world and robin was a part of that world!!!!!!!!

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

-

k.ousano

Why don’t you ship it?

i'm gonna be so real with you all. yosano would not be able to stand kouyou. i truly don't think yosano could ever be interested in someone who works so closely with mori. i don't think yosano would have an issue with dating someone from the mafia in general but specifically bc kouyou is an executive, and has (i believe) held that role longer than the rest of the executives, and clearly respects mori at least as a boss, i don't think yosano would be able to be in a relationship with her. i think that's something she would not be able to overlook. also i really don't think she would like how kouyou treated kyouka

What would have made you like it?

idk maybe if kouyou didn't like. just show up to be overly protective of kyouka in a very toxic way. and then disappear forever. but even then it would highly depend on how her character was potentially further developed and there's still the whole "mafia executive working closely with mori issue" ://

Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?

based on aesthetics and appearances alone, they are a very attractive ship. i cannot deny this. also i do thank k.ousano shippers for at least giving the female bsd characters some attention even if i disagree with the ship on a fundamental level and will likely never read fics for it. the fanart is very pretty. i do in fact often find myself wishing i shipped them just so i could actually fully appreciate the art & fics

[septembersghost]

As a WOC I get some of the critiques for Taylor but based on the timing of all this, it does feel sometimes like I’m being used as an excuse to say every filthy thing possible about Taylor. It’s okay to give her a little grace. And the other thing I’ve noticed is even pre that guy people were already being terrible about Taylor the minute Joe was gone. So it kind of makes me feel terrible for her that she really needs a relationship for people to treat her a bit better.

i hear you, you do not deserve to be used as a shield or a prop for people whose central intent is to bash her just because they hate her in general. that's not uplifting or amplifying you, nor anyone.

it's related to why i've been so upset that people are calling m*tty a n*zi - criticize him, criticize his gross and bigoted actions, but the moment they start to misuse very heavy terms like that, terms that have significant meaning, then any rational argument and criticism loses all its weight, and they're making the situation worse. (i wrote a long post about this a couple of weeks ago and then made it private because i was afraid of being attacked on here, which in and of itself speaks to how toxic the conversation had gotten, where we couldn't even speak up and explain why certain parts of it had become harmful).

anyway, the people doing this, talking over woc or other marginalized fans, using inflammatory rhetoric, they don't actually care that any of us were hurt or concerned, they only want the excuse to hate her. it's not fair that anybody should be used to further that toxicity rather than being centered as a person, and it's wrong to see our identities fractured and wielded to tear her apart when that's so far away from what we were trying to talk about when this started. it's very clear to me now how much of this was driven by people who were anxiously awaiting the day they could attack again, to swarm at blood in the water. the vile things being brought back up and said with no hesitation about her, the people openly hoping for her to come to harm, i wouldn't trust a single one of them to truly care if we needed them, you know? because they have done nothing but exhibit a complete dearth of empathy, and vicious enjoyment at ripping a woman to shreds. the impact that all the old accusations have had, all the cruel and sexist press we thought we'd moved past, was just lingering beneath the surface waiting to be pulled up again. i find it very disturbing and unpleasant.

it also makes legitimate criticism difficult because everything always reaches this tipping point, where it goes from rational and thoughtful discussion to unfiltered vitriol. how do we find a balance where we can fairly say, this is why this is upsetting and needs to be taken into account, when everyone ends up turning it into hyperbolic rage like, this person is a disgusting evil narcissist untalented slut and i hope she dies. those are nowhere near the same universe of a conversation!

"it kind of makes me feel terrible for her that she really needs a relationship for people to treat her a bit better." and have you noticed how people define her completely by the man she's with? i said this to a friend, but anyone who believes that sleeping with a dirtbag has ruined her forever is outright perpetuating the most old-fashioned kind of puritanical shaming, where women are judged and seen as tainted because of men. it's awful, it's a really awful mentality to see still happening!

and yeah, it started brewing the moment she and joe broke up. that is not to say she has handled all of this well, there have been a lot of missteps, bad choices, and bad optics, and some of that is probably directly because of the fact that she's struggling with a destabilizing change in her life. we can understand that while not excusing all of it. people are rarely black and white, and this situation has been complicated. disappointment doesn't mean not showing someone any compassion at all. "It’s okay to give her a little grace." i completely agree, and thank you for saying that, you are obviously a kind and thoughtful person. <3 i hope you've been doing okay.

[childlikegoblinqueen]

Writing Notes

I have ONE more chapter planned before I go on vacation but I am sooooooo spent from the last one I wrote. I have a bit of the next chapter mapped out and know where I want it to end, but I feel like I need to unload a bit about the last one, how I wrote it and why I head canon Bard Hunter.

Don't read anymore unless you have read Chapter 26 of Sweet Child O' Mine, and if you haven't read it yet, check it out :D It nearly killed me.

Spoilers below!

First, Why Bard Hunter? I will write another post later on regarding writing the actual fight scene and how music choices played into it.

So, while Hunter was in the Human Realm we pretty much see that he is creative. The sewing has been often noted as a way for Hunter to stay "close to Darius" since his "father figure" is far away and/or possibly dead, but he goes beyond learning how to "neatly sew".

After Camila shows Hunter how to use the sewing machine, he creates! His shirts and curtains etc. are chaotic! Patches every where! Very grunge/punk! We know that in the castle he had expressed curiosity which was constantly stamped out because he had a purpose and a path that he was not supposed to stray from or else ....

So being a music person myself I imagined that all the children would need MUSIC in order to heal fro their trauma, and there are likely a slew of popular bands/artists from the BI, but I would imagine that Hunter had not been permitted anything but whatever was Belos approved, which coming from a Puritan, was likely not great. Maybe some somber hymns to the Titan or to the emperor himself? Especially since Belos seemed to want to mold the grimwalkers into his ideal version of Caleb ("better version of an old frend". What an ass thing to say about a literal child!)

It has also been noted by some that when Raine seems to look back at Hunter during the scene in the castle where Hunter is ignored by the other Coven Heads, Raine seems low key concerned that this kid needs to get out of that place.

I do hope that Raine survives WAD. Part of my inspiration for Raine teaching Hunter how to mold Bard music is that not only are they both creative, but they are also the only two that have been possessed by Belos. In writing this scene and building their relationship, I thought about a simple way two people with shared trauma could communicate and heel without actually talking about the trauma. Music is perfect for that.

Eventually we will see how Hunter uses music to communicate in other ways, but we've already seen how he and Willow play a game where they try to guess the band and song based on a small portion of lyrics. They communicate non-verbally, but Willow realizes that Hunter is deeply depressed living with Darius, while living through the trials and dealing with the press. Likely Hunter doesn't realize this himself. Willow notes that Hunter is only playing while using Nirvana lyrics and having lived with him for months in the human realm, she’s aware that he listens to Nirvana when he’s depressed. Really, he's going through the motions and trying to appease someone he looks up to.

A lot of this story is about Hunter's own anxieties about becoming a parent, as well as the figures in his life who have parented him for better or for worse -- as well as parental figures like Odalia who are toxic, and Alador who knows that he messed up.

That was a flashback to the past. In the current timeline we know that Hunter and Willow have developed a healthy romantic relationship. He has strong bonds to his adoptive family of Camila, Luz, and Vee (his guitar belonged to Manny). He enjoys a good relationship with others in the Owl House universe. He has accomplished a lot, but prefers to stay out of the spotlight due to many things that took place both during his tenure in the castle and how he was treated by the public in the aftermath.

The thread about Perry's supposed protege, who alerted Hunter to other students trying to exploit a relationship with him during his first weeks at Hexside will be picked up again. I really try to leave bread crumbs without revealing too much upfront.

We also know that Dell has mentored him in palisman carving, and that he has somehow developed a healthy working relationship with Lilith who still works at the Supernatural History Museum.

I would hope that post Belos, the idea of "the savage ages" and "wild magic is evil" is a thing of the past as would be tracks at Hexside. So having Raine -- again being the only other one who hopefully survived possession -- teach Hunter to use the guitar he was gifted from his chosen family (Camila, Luz, and Vee) to generate magic was something I wanted to explore!

Which leads me to writing that dang scene.

[mdhwrites]

🦝 Got tired of Amity's "awesome gf" filter on her so much and I was thinking if her character still had any personal motivations, hypothetically speaking (although it SHOULDN'T BE), what do you think those would be to fit with the current events?

For me, based on the little that we had in S1 progressing to the present, I think it should be her realizing the ill intent of the emperor and the coven system on her own, not just because it's bad twoards Luz and that somehow affects her too, (we didn't even had a transition of that come to think of it). If I'd have to give her goal to fit with the present I'd say she would want to change/abolish the laws and indoctrination left by Belos. She wanted to be in the emperor's coven (not buying that her parents wanted that) and had the ex EC head as her teacher (Lilith), she had affiliations, I don't think it would've been hard to make a connection and give her an eye opener. Based on her toxic environment and past, I always thought she'd have the character trait of seeking freedom or justice.

Like Willow's drive to protect the ones close to her, or Hunter wanting to discover/find himself, (or Luz's wish to be accepted but I have issues with that one that I'll ask later)

I hate that it feels ooc to give Amity any priorities outside/besides Luz. It shouldn't be like this Ugh

Any thoughts?

fears the Luz question It's just annoying being lit on fire but I won't censor myself for it. Just that the first time I made my opinion clear on Luz's 'desire', I managed to piss of EVERYONE. -_-

I also have to point out just how many retcons or things the show did that you have to make to give Amity… Anything. It's genuinely just sad and someone today made me realize "Oh, yeah, the canon lesbian does kind of just get reduced to "I have a girlfriend" which is usually not great on the representation scale…" But I could be blowing smoke out of my ass with that one. Just your question itself kind of points out how hard the show has worked to define Amity honestly not by what she's interested in but what parts of her past she refutes.

Main problem with that is nothing replaces it. Even your claims make you have to ignore how she treats the coven system in general. After all, I phrase it as "Her deciding not to go to college" because that's the importance she puts on it. That it might disappoint people but it isn't some life altering, capital punishment level crime that she is committing with this choice. Worse yet, how it's framed and it being Odalia's dream actually takes away from her goal? in Reaching Out.

Because Reaching Out in theory is the closest that the show comes to giving Amity a motivation beyond Luz. Her want to connect with her dad has nothing to do with Luz after all. Now, by the end of the season, and even in that episode, you can see the hand of the plot and the writers forcing this to happen to setup for later and it's handled pretty poorly if you ask me, but it is technically there and so it must be discussed.

So… What does Amity want from her father? She claims it's to connect with him but that's a really nebulous thing and somehow she treats beating a tournament that Alador questionably remembers winning or caring about would somehow be as momentous as JOINING THE EMPEROR'S COVEN. No, sorry, it's actually made out to be somehow a greater achievement despite the EC supposedly being for the best of the best and kind of guarantying a good future for you, at least if you believe fucking anything Lilith said in Covention. If you tried to take these Stormtroopers ever seriously instead of only listening to the S2 assassination that happens to them.

So connection is viable but it feels week. Her motivation more towards the end seems to be recognition. And I say recognition, not being understood, for a reason. She literally just wants her dad to see her, go "Do whatever you want," and then… Profit? Because if she actually cared about his opinion or what he thought of her… Anything else in that episode would have mattered? Bare minimum, the FUCKING COVENS. But she throws that away easily and rejects any real form of affection.

Honestly, one could make a claim that her desire there is a want to be proven as superior to her parents. Superior to her past. That would honestly fit a lot more with her rejection of her father, of anything they care about, etc. like that but because the show wants Alador to be a good guy for… I guess a better answer to the Abomatons (something that goes nowhere really. At all. And everything to do with Alador's 'redemption' is S2B so you really can't blame the shortening for the lack of any plan or point) and that's about it. So Amity had to want to be closer to him but none of her actions reflect this.

Which just leaves us back with Luz. Hell, the desire to prove she's better than her past… Could be her trying to say that she is truly the person she needed to change herself to be to be with Luz. That would actually be half compelling because it'd bring out her worst traits pre-Luz in an attempt to prove how great a girlfriend she is, handle some actually interesting themes with how focused on Luz she is and how sole minded obsession is bad but…

We don't get any of that. We just get told that Amity wants to be close to her dad because it's her dad, even if they haven't been close for years and she should actively resent her parents, especially now for both trying to kill Luz and the childhood trauma of losing her best friend because of them. And that's without anything else she may resent them for for the years between those two things.

But that would have taken thought and a real plan for the Blight Family and outside of Odalia, rapid onset character change out of nowhere seems to be genetic. So… shrug

Oh, and for your personal motivation for her… I question it because of the cast, Amity has the biggest reason to need the largest proof that the Coven system is bad. Her family in general is the closest to the Emperor and the most committed to his causes, even if it's because of profit. They're also the happiest under the system. It would also be reasonable for an intelligent girl like Amity to say "Eda was a wild witch and Lilith turned traitor. It sucks he almost killed both of them but that is the risks they took with the crimes they committed and I'm not ready to take those risks myself." This is why her dismissal of the coven system is SO GALLING to me because it was RIGHT FUCKING THERE for good story telling and conflict and a good question about what a couple has to do when their trajectories in life take them inherently different places.

BUT NOPE! FUCK THAT! Amity drops the coven system as easily as one drops a hot fucking potato! And all the potential she had in the first season dies alongside it so that… So that it becomes hard to even enjoy S1 Amity without just thinking she's a lie. A well crafted, pretty lie but a lie nonetheless.

And it's hard to find motivation from a lie.

[ariel-s-awesome]

Commander Peepers, love cute little evil bastards. Also I heavily relate to this nerd.

Lord Dominator, there's soooo much misogyny and demonizing women for not returning men's advances in her character. Literally ruined the show.

Friendship!

My artstyle is still heavily based on it. Also I learned about some writing mistakes to avoid.

The Funk! I love how it really showed Hater and Peepers' friendship. Also bonding over being horrible is funny.

The Toddler was kinda a weak episode. Not bad but...

The Eye on the Skullship! I love watchdogs so I was glad to see them get some focus!

There was literally nothing enjoyable about The Matchmaker. Not only was it incredibly heteronormative, but it established a pattern that twisted Wander and Sylvia's relationship and made it unhealthy. Sylvia was taught to ignore her own doubts and trust Wander without question. This was treated like a good thing. I also hate My Fair Hatey because as an aro (and someone who thought I was a girl at the time), it... literally broke my heart.

Sylvia's. The cyan and magenta with yellow and black accents is a really good look.

Ripov! She's soooo cool and I wish she got introduced far earlier. Maybe as part of the core cast instead of Dom. I'd love to see her and Sylvia bounce off each other. Directly related, I wish Captain Tim appeared more. He's such a large part of Hater's life, and his relationship with the watchdogs didn't get much focus.

Watchdogs by far.

Death Glare. Wouldn't want Peepers' obvious crush requited pre-character development and establishing a healthier (and far less toxic) friendship though. Btw I have no clue what Nomadic Heroes is.

Sylvia. She's my second favorite character and a pretty cool gal. ...And the only member of the main cast who isn't exhausting to be around.

The Skullship is super cool! And I'd love to see the watchdog homeworld... Can only interpolate what it's like from the Skullship's design and the watchdogs.

Peepers and Sylvia's gay/lesbian hostility and/or solidarity.

Yes. Most of them are prominent in season 2, although seeds were planted in season 1. I could write multiple essays. Most of them stem from misogyny and the distinctly Christian ideal of unconditional faith.

No one, I'm aro/ace. If I wasn't, Sylvia. Gotta admire cool buff women. I can also see Peepers' appeal, but he's horrible to be around and surely worse to date.

Mayo, the smell of mustard literally makes me gag.

The standard. And the variant in The Fancy Party.

Eh? Peepers', I guess? They're fun to draw.

Depends on the situation, I guess. And the hat's whims. I don't think it's what Wander hypes it up to be, just a traveling companion who tries their best and doesn't communicate well.

Looney Tunes, specifically with Marvin the Martian or Commander X-2. Either one of them could be a great friend and/or rival to Peepers'. Their respective universes would also mash up well.

Sylander. Please stop ruining a rare m/f friendship with heteronormativity/amanormativity... Men and women can be close friends. There's no such thing as people being too close to "just be friends."

Rhubarb, meringue is kinda tasteless.

That's How We'll Get Her. I love how they bounce off each other! And how it shows that while Peepers and Sylvia are both realists, Peepers is an optimist that starts with "what will it take to get to my end goal?", in contrast to Sylvia being a pessimist who defaults to "how can we salvage this situation?" Also we didn't get nearly enough of Peepers and Sylvia singing.

I already mentioned the one that made me boil with rage so here's a touching one: When Sylvia called out the Lords of Illumination for tormenting Wander.

Backstories, character development. They had a lot of good ideas but wasted time with that all-consuming love interest subplot.

Frankly? No. After season 2 it was a mercy kill. (And the whole Dominator thing, and tainting Wander's character by making him an infallible Space Jesus are not my only complaints.)

Peepers'! I don't remember the source but apparently a crew member said that they recorded Peepers singing The Commander Who Gave His Last Command. And they never released it??? A tragedy.

No. Being aro aside, he's just a cube. Honestly he's a meh character anyways.

Wander over Yonder Themed Asks!

[c-is-for-circinate]

Like, is the gist "Real life pedophilia/incest/rape is bad, and stories saying these things are good are bad, but including these topics in a story isn't inherently bad, so the people being like 'hey, maybe Ao3 shouldn't have so much kiddie porn there's an entire category called "Underage"' are just overreacting and making things worse?" Because it feels like you're saying, "your negative reaction to this stuff is valid, but also you're annoying and prudish and bad and really you aren't valid."

So here’s the thing: it really does not sound like you're asking this question because you want my answer, it sounds like you want to be angry with me and have a fight. And fair enough! I'm not terribly interested in a fight, but apparently this is my day to dive into this topic as thoughtfully and honestly as I can be. Maybe I'll say something you haven't already heard from other people before. Maybe not! Only you, anonymous asker, know that.

To begin with, you got part of the gist right. Real life rape (including child abuse/child sexual abuse as well as incest) is bad. Stories about rape, about underage sex, and about incest, are stories.

They're stories. They're pixels on a screen. They're not real. Whether they claim that rape is good, or bad, or sexy, or melodramatic, or life-destroying, or a normal Tuesday afternoon. They're stories.

And having a negative reaction to them is valid. Stories can stir up powerful emotions in people. It is absolutely, 100%, fair and valid and even normal for there to be certain tropes, plot elements, events, and kinds of content that make you upset and that you never want to see in a story you read, ever. You don't have to want to read about sex. You don't have to want to read any of it. That doesn't make you bad.

There are tropes, plot elements, events, and kinds of content that upset me. There are stories I won't read. The same is true of literally everyone else I know. Even though I know the stories aren't real. Even though I know the things happening in them are happening to fictional characters, who do not exist, who I cannot protect and who also cannot be harmed because they're not real. Even then, I can be made sad and scared and upset and hurt by reading those stories. And that is okay and that is valid and I am not bad or wrong for being upset about the story I've read, and neither are you.

But that doesn't mean the story doesn't have value to somebody else. That doesn't mean the story isn't important to somebody else.

What I see most often coming from antis, possibly even including yourself, is an overwhelming desire to protect. They want to keep themselves and others--possibly people they know, possibly hypothetical people they may never meet--safe from being hurt by these stories. And that desire to protect, also, is normal. It's even admirable! The problem, though, the thing that does more harm than good, is when that desire to protect drives people to lash out against things that matter to other people.

There is a difference between actual rape and stories about rape. There is a difference between a story that could theoretically hurt somebody, someday (which is all stories, always), and a story that hurts you personally. And there is a difference between a story that hurts you personally, and a story that is inherently poisonous to everyone who touches it.

We know--absolutely, scientifically, incontrovertibly--that stories about rape do not make people rapists. Yes, even the stories where the rape is there to be sexy. Even stories where the person being raped is a child. Even then. Fiction is not the same thing as normalization; again, there are far smarter people who have written far more extensively on that topic than I, and next time I come across something that goes more into detail on this point I promise I will reblog it. If this really is the thing you're afraid of, I may not be the right person to convince you that this is an unfounded fear, but I know someone out there can elaborate on it.

(Unfounded, which is not the same thing as invalid. My mother's claustrophobia is unfounded; it flares up in many situations where there's no physical threat whatsoever, where she has plenty of space to move and air to breathe. It's still real. It still chokes her. It's still valid, she is not bad or broken to feel that way, and she still can't drive through certain tunnels. The fear is real. But the thing she's afraid of can't physically hurt her, and that is worth knowing in terms of how she deals with it.)

We know, absolutely, scientifically, and incontrovertibly, that stories about rape and many, many, many other things can hurt and even traumatize their readers. Even though the situation you're reacting to is not real and you receive no physical injury, you can still be hurt by it. The key word there, though, is readers. The fact that the horror genre is out there terrifying people who enjoy being terrified for fun does not damage me unless I do something stupid and try listening to the Magnus Archives again and end up tense and miserable and paranoid for the rest of the week. The fact that guacamole is apparently delicious to everybody else in the world does not hurt me unless I do something stupid and order the wrong thing at a restaurant, and end up itchy and miserable with a little trouble breathing for the rest of the night.

The fact that there are, yes, tens of thousands of fics on AO3 in which characters under the age of 18 have sex? It can't hurt you. Those fics do not hurt you by existing. They can only hurt you if you read them. They can only hurt anyone who reads them. That's why there is an 'Underage' tag--and it's worth noting, 'Underage' is a warning, not a category. Nobody wants you to get hurt reading the wrong fic, any more than the sushi chef wants my throat to swell up because I ordered something with avocado. Literally nobody wants that.

The flip side, of course, is that you hating each and every one of those fics individually and as a group doesn't actually hurt me, or anyone else who writes, reads, or enjoys them. By itself. You can hate anything you like, and fic writers can write anything they like, and it all comes out in the end, more or less. Except.

Except that reading fic is always, entirely, 100% opt-in, and online harassment isn't even opt-out. Some antis have a nasty habit of going after writers whose content they don't like; climbing into inboxes and comments sections, calling those writers nasty names, throwing around cruelties and aggression and insults. I know that's not the same thing as simply disliking a genre, or even passively disagreeing with its existence (although disliking a genre and disagreeing with its right to exist are also very different things). I know not all antis do that. I don't know you, anon, but based on the speed and aggressiveness of this response to my last post, I can't help but wonder if you would do that.

And that does hurt people. Just like it might hurt you if someone threw a bunch of content that makes you uncomfortable into your inbox. Including the harasser, actually--because getting into fights with strangers on the internet about things that make you angry, sad, defensive, and upset isn't good for anybody. Including both you and me.

Anyway, after yet another lengthy ramble, let's get the tl;dr response to your ask here: nobody is ever bad or wrong for disliking certain content in their stories, no matter what that content is. You and your emotions are valid. The "overreacting and making things worse" part isn't about what you feel, but what you do with it. Constantly engaging with places where the thing that upsets you will probably show up, even to argue and try to fight it, will make things worse in the sense that now you're spending way more time thinking about this thing that makes you upset and angry, thereby leaving you more upset and angry. Getting together with a bunch of your upset, angry friends to make your feelings everybody else's problem? Makes fandom a more toxic place for everyone else involved.

Don't read stuff that's going to hurt you. Don't make other people read stuff that's going to hurt them. That's the whole thing, really.

[linkspooky]

TOJI AND MAKI

The parallels between the two outcasts of the zenin clan have already been pointed out plenty of times in canon, for example they're both incredibly buff. However, I thought I would take a deeer look at both characters, as they share both a role as the abused child that destroys the system that created them, and the same fatal flaw.

1. The Child Who is Not Embraced by the Village Will Burn it Down to Feel its Warmth

"The Ones who Walk Away from Omelas" is a 1973 work of short philosophical fiction, about a summer festival in the utopian ity of OMelas, whose prosperity depends on the perpetual misery of a single child. The idea is written around the idea of the scapegoat, a reoccurring trope in stories where someone innocent is blamed, or outcast for the mistakes of other characters.

All of this to say that both Maki and Toji represent the archetype of the scapegoats of their generation. Just like the child of Omelas, all of the problems in the Zenin household are blamed on one child.

This is something Ogi does to Maki directly, and also Naoya recognizes that the other members of the clan did to Toji. They were unable to face their own inferiority, so they blamed it on a scapegoat. Ogi blames his failure to become the head of the clan on his children. The entire clan is unable to recognize Toji's strength, because it would make them question their traditionally held notions of strength, Toji requires the use of weapons and can fight without cursed techniques, which means the cursed techniques they were born with don't make them inherently better with other people.

This is also related to Gojo's criticisms of Jujutsu Society at large, of which the Zenin Household is a very toxic microcosm of. Gojo's critique is that the previous generation will sacrifice the lives of the younger generation, to maintain their power, and in the name of pointless tradition. In the Zenin family "tradition" is the idea that inherited curse technique determines a person's worth.

Their entire system is built around one, keeping cursed techniques in the clan, and two, passing down inherited curse techniques from father to child. Which would go farther to explain the treatment of women by the clan, but we're not getting into that this time. Basically, the "peace" and the "superiority" of the household are built on the idea of marking and scapegoating an outsider, that is anyone who doesn't fit in with the clan's traditions. "If you are not of the Zenin Clan you are not a sorcerer, and if you are not a sorcerer then you are not even Human". That quote alone should explain how Maki and Toji were both treated as subhuman 'monkeys' by everyone around them.

However, the story shows us by both Toji and Maki snapping how terrible these abusive power structures are. One person cannot handle all of that alone, so they snap. Of course they snap. It's not a sign of who Toji and Maki are as people, but rather how no one deserves to be treated that way. A major reocurring theme in Jujutsu Kaisen is no one person alone, can take responsibility for everything, not even Gojo who is the strongest can save everyone he wants to save or be responsible for all of society he needs allies too. Toji, and Maki without allies, they snap and lash out against the same abusive power structure that created them. They are so thoroughly othered by everyone around them, that they embrace their own inhumanity, Maki becomes a weapon bent on killing her family even murdering her own mother, and Toji outright calls himself a monkey.

This is also why Toji is referred to as the "destroyer of destinies" there are two reasons for this. One, Gege is making a thematic point here. The abusive system built on othering and excluding children among other things doesn't actually provide the stability it promises. The center does not hold. The abuse of the system perpetuates and only leads to more destruction. Toji's outcasting isn't something that just hurt Toji alone, everyone felt the consequences of it because the abusive system proliferates and only causes further destruction. The second reason is a Jungian idea on which the story is based on. Toji himself is much like a curse created by the actions of his entire family. If Mahito is created from the fear humans have for each other and acts as the shadow of humanity representing their dark side, Toji metaphorically represents the combined shadow and dark side of the zenin clan. In Watch Man, Rorsarch monologues about how the accumulated filth of all of the abuses that happen in the city will one day rise up and affect everyone.

"This city is afraid of me, I have seen it's true face. The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood and when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will form up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout save us and I'll look down and whisper no."

This is expressing the same Jungian idea, a society that ignores these problems will only cause the muck to rise up further and further until it affects everyone. The Zenin clan was a microcosm for the abuses of Jujutsu Society as a whole, they weren't the only ones affected by their abuse because abuse perpetuates. They endured it until they snapped and then acted out that abuse. The Jungian idea put forth is that this sort of reckoning was always going to happen, as long as the Zenin clan continues to create these outcasts in order to hold themselves up as superior, another Toji will happen.

2. Love is the Worst Curse of Them All

Toji and Maki also share the same flaw as people. Their abuse revolved around the idea of outcasting them from the rest of the family, othering them, continually putting them down and also most likely not even doing the job of raising them as children or providing them with the help they needed. We don't see much of it, but in the databook apparently Toji regularly had cursed spirits sicked on him to mock him, and Maki was locked in the cursed spirit room as punishment.

This taught them not only do they need to be strong on their own, but also in order to prove themselves they both thought they needed to be stronger than anyone else in the clan. Toji left Jujutsu Society as a whole, whereas Maki just left the house, both of them with the motivation of proving themselves stronger than the people who looked down on them.

This strong sense of individualism is their greatest strength, and also their weakness, as the situation is more complicated than being stronger than a bully. Maki and Toji are made to feel alone because of their abuse, however, neither Maki nor Toji suffer their abuse alone.

Mai was abused right alongside Maki, they were both outcasts due to being twins. There's no point in arguing which one of them had it worse, because Ogi was perfectly willing to kill both daughters right alongside each other. Maki does and doesn't remember that Mai is right alongside her in her abuse, it's... a bit complicated.

I mention this because Makiaated reason why is that she would have hated herself if she stayed inside that household with Maki. She put pursuit of becoming a stronger sorcerer above her relationship with her sister.

Maki later states "I can't create a place where Mai would feel like she belongs". I don't believe that was always her intention from the start that she secretly left the household for Mai's sake, and wanted to get stronger to create a place where Mai belongs, because Maki's always been really clear she was doing it for her own sake. I think rather after the loss she suffered in Shibuya, and also the fight she had with her sister in the school met, that she came to change her mind and realized she wasn't just in this alone. She changed her mind, that she wanted to be together with Mai, but she didn't change it in time and tragedy struck.

I mention this because Maki and Toji both share the same tragic flaw. Both of them have no idea how to be close even to the people they love, so they end up pushing away the ones they love the most. Maki continually shows behavior of pushing away Mai, and in Toji's case he does everything he can to try to show himself he doesn't love his son.

Maki continually pushes away her sister Mai. Mai reacts to getting pushed away in a not-so-healthy way. Toji full on deadbeats his son. He doesn't raise him or participate in his life to the point where Megumi can't remember his face or name at all. Toji did everything he could to try to give Megumi to someone else, anyone else other than him and avoided his responsibility as a father.

It doesn't come from malice on Toji and Maki's part, but rather it's a less savory aspect of their abuse. Both Toji and Maki believe themselves to be worthless, and that they can't be accepted or loved. They've internalized the way the clan has treated them. They are so isolated that this comes out in how they treated their closest loved ones, their response is to always push them away and isolate themselves further. Toji narrates this, he chose to throw his son aside because he wanted to affirm himself and prove that he was better than Jujutsu Society. Maki says to Mai that she left the house and left Mai because staying would have meant hating herself.

They are both trying desperately to prove themselves as individually strong, to the point where loving anyone else, or even requiring that love from someone is a weakness. They prove they are strong by avoiding the vulnerability of loving someone else. Toji and Maki both try to separate themselves from their heart in order to become even more physically stronger. For Toji his heart was his son Megumi who he did everything to distance himself, forgetting his name, selling him to the Zenin clan, while at the same time paradoxically believing that he was somehow protecting Megumi and arranging for things that would have been better than Toji just stepping up as a father and taking care of him.

At the same time Maki pushes Mai away when Mai does not want that, and believes that also she can return to the clan and make it a safe place for her sister by being individually stronger than everyone else.

They both approach their loved ones this way, because they were taught that one, they are unworthy of love, and they choose to try to get stronger by throwing away anything that might make them vulnerable.

TWhich is why Maki breaks so hard, and lashes out at everyone when Mai is gone, because Maki believed that keeping Mai separate from herself and protecting her was her way of showing love.

However, Mai and Megumi are like... people. They're people entirely separate from Maki and Toji and also affected by their actions. Megumi was neglected his entire lives, whereas Mai didn't get to have a relationship with her sister and felt like she was worthless and only holding her sister back. This is the central idea of Toji and Maki's abuse narrative, that abuse is complicated, and abuse proliferates and hurts people you don't even intend for it to hurt. It has consequences. Megumi suffers the consequences of the Zenin family's abuse because it turned Toji into such an unfit and emotionally immature father. Mai was being abused alongside Maki, and even ended up dying from her abuser's hand as her father Ogi beat her half to death and locked her in a room. Now, as a consequence Maki is lashing out at everything around her. That's also why the connection between Toji and Maki is drawn, to show that as long as the abusive institution still stands, it's just going to keep creating more outcasts like Toji and Maki.

[cuttinqlines]

IN THE MIDNIGHT HOUR II

                             IN THE MIDNIGHT HOUR II

(richard ramirez [ahs 1984] x reader | mainly implied xavier plympton x reader)

trigger warning; drug use, toxic relationships, mentions of abuse, toxic characters, xavier is portrayed as a major piece of shit for the first few installments, glorification of a serial killer, knives, etc.

disclaimer: i do not support the real richard ramirez in any way, shape, or form. this is simply based on the fictional version from ahs 1984. no disrespect is intended in any way. please, feel free to click off of the fic if you don’t enjoy this type of content. any hate will be ignored.

word count: 2,467

a/n: sorry this took so long. im a depressed piece of shit lmao. 

taglist: @kuollut-talven @felicityofbakerstreet @bitchcraft1398 

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IT HAD ONLY been a few days since your run-in with the self-proclaimed ‘Night Stalker’ yet it felt like years had passed. The memory of the event was constantly running through your mind, seeming to occupy your every thought. It was as if your mind was filled only with visions of dark hair and piercing dark eyes. It had gotten to the point where it was consuming you, distracting you from anything that wasn’t the thought of him. It was impossible to focus. You weren’t exactly sure that you wanted to. The part of you that desperately longed for the dark stranger to reappear and tear you away from your dilapidating life was overtaking you. You had almost wished that you would have given in to his demands that night. Almost. Something had been holding you back that night and something- someone- was still holding you back, tethering you to the place you had grown to despise.

Letting out a sigh, you stared at yourself in front of the bathroom mirror, attempting to shake away the thoughts that continuously plagued you. The ghost of a bruise still showed underneath your eye, barely noticeable with the makeup that you had delicately applied over it. You looked better than you had in the days before, but you still weren’t keen on leaving the confines of the four walls of your bedroom, let alone your apartment. You hadn’t left the house since that night. You were sure everyone thought that you were spiraling- He had probably twisted the story into that narrative. You turned away from the mirror, leaning against the base of the sink. It was time to face the situation at hand. You could already feel the silent judgment of Montana. She had told you so.  “Fuck.”

It shouldn’t have mattered that much to you- what everyone thought. It’s not like they had too much room to judge. They were your friends, sort of, but they didn’t rule you. They weren’t the end all be all. Still, you couldn’t help but feel nervous at the thought of facing them. It had been days of voicemails, knocks on the door, and missed phone calls. You had gone ghost. They wouldn’t have expected anything else, though. It wasn’t unlike you to disappear. You were used to disappointing everyone. 

After a few more minutes of anxiety and deliberation, you laid out a pretty white line, snorted it down, and got ready to head out the door. At the very least, you could show up to aerobics and casually run into everyone. By the time you got there, you were sure you could figure out how to gloss over all of the problems that kept on appearing. 

****

The Aerobics studio hadn’t changed much in your week of absence. The faces of the instructors were still plastered on the walls, yours still included much to your surprise. The chairs strategically placed throughout the lobby were occupied by young adults, laughing at something one of them had said. The ambiance was peaceful and you suddenly wished that you would have shown up for work in the last week. The thought quickly diminished as you thought back to the bruise that had been occupying your face. There was no way you would have shown up with that. You wouldn’t have given him the satisfaction. Stepping up to the front desk, you leaned against the counter lazily. 

“Hi. Do you have any classes with vacant spaces open for today, Janice?” You asked the receptionist a bit awkwardly, looking at the wall behind her as you spoke.

The woman looked up, purposefully making direct eye contact. She looked you up and down, judgement written all over her face.  “Yes. The instructor position for the class you teach at 6:30, (Y/N). If you want to keep your job, I suggest you get prepared for it and go teach it.” 

You couldn’t help but cringe at her tone. The attitude dripped off of it like poison. Truth be told, you had thought that you had already been fired. That is generally what happens after you drop off of the face of the planet for a week. “Right- I’ll just go ahead and get set up to start, then. Thank you.”

“You’re lucky that you showed up today. You’re really pushing it with your delinquent behavior. Shape up or ship out, sweetheart. This is the last time you’re getting exceptions. You’re really lucky that Montana covered your classes for the week. Now, get moving. It’s 6:20. Studio 3.”

Janice hardly gave you time to react, as she stood up and began to push you towards the direction of the studio. Her cold touch caused an unpleasant shiver to shoot through your spine. Your mind instantly drifted to your unwelcome house guest, though the shiver he gave you was not exactly unpleasant- You mentally scolded yourself for obsessing over the ‘Night Stalker’, before practically bursting into the studio. 

It felt as if a million eyes landed on you from the moment you opened the door. The never-ending stares seemed to burn holes into your skin. One pair of eyes, in particular, seemed to stare the deepest. Xavier. You flickered your gaze to meet his, the other people in the room disappearing into a sort of tunnel that consumed the sides of your vision. Your heart caught in your chest. You wanted to tear your eyes away, but there was something stopping you. Something about Xavier always seemed to hold you back. His gaze was pleading, an apology seeming to spill out of it. 

 “(Y/N)! I thought you were going to be out for a while! Xavier said that you were like super sick or something.” Montana’s voice rang out, casually. “So happy you’re here though. Teaching this class has been such a drag.”

At the sound of the young woman’s voice, your head instinctively jerked towards it. You plastered a pained smile onto your face. “Yeah- thanks for covering for me, Montana. I seriously owe you one. Being sick was a major drag. Probably worse than teaching this class of Cyndi Lauper obsessed boys.” 

The blonde let out a laugh. “Well, since you’re back, I’ll let you take this one. And maybe take your man out when you’re done. He’s been such a buzzkill lately.” 

Montana gave you a wink, patting your shoulder affectionately. With a final wave to you and Xavier, she slipped out the door and disappeared down the hall with a flash of blonde hair. Not wanting to waste any more time, or give Xavier the chance to talk to you, you flicked the boom box on and let the sound of Billy Idol’s voice fill the room. 

****

The entirety of the class went by uneventfully. Billy Idol’s soothing tone seemed to temporarily soother your anxiety, making it easier for you to ignore the pained glances that were becoming more and more inescapable. You left the music on as the class drew to a close, turning the volume down to a soft, but audible hum. You didn’t bother to look as everyone made their way to the door. Instead, you moved towards the front of the room, letting yourself face the large windows that looked out towards the city. 

You watched as people leaving the last few classes of the evening walked down the sidewalk, off into the night. Some faces were familiar, regulars that always seemed to be in aerobics class. Other faces, unfamiliar and new. They all seemed so happy, as if their lives were perfect. You wished that you could get a taste of that feeling. You continued to admire the citizens of Los Angeles, lost in your thoughts. Then, in a sudden flash, there was a single face that stuck out in the crowd. Unmistakable dark hair and piercing eyes that could have belonged only to the face that you could never forget. You locked eyes with the man, causing a sinister smile to appear on his face. He moved closer to the building. Your heart skipped a beat. He was headed towards the door. Your eyes were still locked with his, nothing could-

“(Y/N)... Can we talk about what happened the other night? Please… I didn’t mean for it to go so far.” Xavier’s voice hit your ears, soft and pleading. 

You broke away from the ‘Night Stalker’s’ gaze, slowly turning to face the man that you had once felt so strongly for. You leaned against the windows behind you, pressing your nearly bare back against the cool glass. Xavier took a few steps closer, leaving only a few inches between your faces. You couldn’t help but flinch as he reached out to tenderly touch your face. Hurt flashed across his face briefly, but his hand still gently came into contact with your soft skin. You let your eyes flutter closed and sucked in a sharp breath. “I- I can’t do this,” you whispered, hot tears pricking in the inner corner of your eyes. So many different emotions were running through your body. The urge to run away from him had never been so heightened. 

He grazed his thumb gingerly across your jawline, his voice dropping to a whisper. “I’m so sorry, Please. I just wanted it so badly and I thought that was the only way. And I didn’t want anyone to find out. The way you looked at me when you did- I lost it. I thought you would tell everyone. I thought you would leave me. I’m so sorry.” 

You had yet to respond to him when a cutting voice interrupted the scene unfolding before you. “Well, well, well. What do we have here?” The deep voice questioned, sinister laughter etched into his tone. 

“N-?” You began, eyes flickering open. You met the dark haired man’s eyes, looking directly past Xavier. He was already staring at you intensely, the usual smirk plastered on his face. 

“Richard.” He corrected, moving his eyes from you to the other man in your company. Xavier had moved away from you by this point, looking at Richard with a suspicious glare. Richard simply continued to smirk at him, looking more and more devilish as time passed. “My little angel, didn’t expect to see you so soon. What a pleasant surprise.”

“Okay. Who the fuck are you?” Xavier demanded, his hand wrapping around your forearm in a protective manner. You instinctively recoiled to his touch. You shifted your weight from one foot to another, watching as the two began to go back and forth. 

“I’m the devil’s favorite prodigy. It’s more like ‘who the fuck are you?’” The other man taunted. His eyes locked on the contact point of yours and Xavier’s skin. An unreadable emotion flashed across his face, but was quickly replaced with his usual infuriating smirk. “I’ve decided I’m here to collect her. Truth be told, it wasn’t originally in my master and I’s plan, but it seems like I stumbled in at the perfect time, with you harassing my girl.”

“Your-? (Y/N), are you fucking this guy? We get into one fight and you’re off giving it out to this creep?” The blonde questioned, his tone demanding and incredulous. His voice rose with every word that he spoke. He was red in the face by this point. You could tell by the clench in his jaw and the way his hand tightened around you that he was angry. The smug expression of Richard definitely wasn’t helping his reaction either.

You tried to ignore the fear that had begun to creep into the back of your mind, your mind flashing back to his closed fist accidentally ramming into your face. You looked up at him with your tear stained face. Words were failing you. You didn’t exactly want to say that Richard had broken into your house, pinned you against a wall, and sparked something inside of you that made you feel so many fucked up things. Was it really more fucked up than what you felt about Xavier after everything that he had done? You weren’t so sure any more. Xavier seemed to take your silence and lack of denial as a ‘yes’ to his questions. Disgust took over his face, his hand tossing your arm away as if it had suddenly turned into some sort of cursed object. 

He scoffed at you, shoving you away from his body. “I can’t believe you would do this to me. Maybe you deserved that.” He spat out venomously, angrily gesturing to the hardly hidden  bruise underneath your eye. 

You flinched as his hand raised. Something seemed to click into place for the dark haired man as he watched the two of you, your reaction triggering the darkest part of him. You hardly had time to react further, before Richard was in front of you. His left arm pressed back against your body, gently shoving you behind him. His right hand was adorned with his blade, ready to slash at the man before him. “You did that to her? For your sake, I hope you say no. I’d hate to have to kill you right here. It would really throw a wrench into the master’s plans and we both hate that.”

Your hand reached out slowly, tugging on the edge of this sleeve, beckoning his eyes to meet your eyes. He complied, looking over his shoulder quickly. You shook your head at him, a silent plea for him to drop it. He was already acting psychotic enough to have the police called on him and you were sure that would be the last thing that he wanted. He looked back to Xavier, who was staring at him incredulously. “Get the fuck out of here or die,” The dark haired man spat out.

Xavier gave you a pointed look, before shoving past the both of you and storming out of the studio. You knew he would show up at your apartment later, demanding explanations for the psychotic interaction that just went down. You would figure out a way to avoid that later. For now, your full attention was on Richard. He turned towards you, dark eyes studying the every feature on your face. His hand hovered over the side of your neck, before gently pushing your hair to the side. His fingers softly trailed down the side of your throat, traveling down your chest. Like a phantom, they grazed the length of your body, sending a shiver down your spine. Your heart skipped a beat in your chest. You softly bit down on your bottom lip, eyes staring straight into his. “You’re mine now, little angel. I’ll kill for you. I’ll die for you. But you have to be mine forever- That’s the catch. Will you sell your soul to the devil?”

“I will.”