#she can visit the spirit world in her dreams! okay! but what else?? idk her personality was just Off hahaha

[rabiosass]

i think i figured out what bothers me about live action netflix Yue

she kinda acts like a 21st century girl that was plopped into the middle of this fantasy story.

[fatefulfaerie]

hi!! i love your writing, it's so good! i have a question: do you have any cute headcanons for zelink?

Oh boy

I don’t think you understand what you signed up for here

Like you didn’t specify a game

I’m going to have to go one by one

I mean it’s a fun activity but whew is it going to be a mess

I apologize in advance

Link’s Awakening

-Marin is a manifestation of Link’s crush on A Link to the Past Zelda

-Link does not die on the open ocean but gets saved by A Link to the Past Zelda on a big ship

-They suss out their past trauma and eventually fall in love, hence the famous picture in A Link Between Worlds

Ocarina of Time

-Link had feelings for Princess Zelda the moment he first laid eyes on her in the garden. It was a childhood crush then but over time, especially when he became an adult, he fell in love with the Princess.

-Link was ULTRA concerned that he couldn’t find the princess anywhere as an adult. He feared that he failed her and their plan and was so relieved when she revealed herself as Sheik. He even cried

-Zelda fell in love with Link during the time that she was teaching him various songs as Sheik. She denied it herself for a while but eventually she accepted her feelings and longed to be with him as Zelda and not Sheik, which is why she foolishly revealed herself to him

-Zelda felt too guilty to keep Link in her time just because of her love and wished to send him back to time where he could relive his childhood

-Link couldn’t muster the courage to confess and figured that him going back was what Zelda wanted, so he complied

-Zelda has to get over her regret and it  h u r t s

Majora’s Mask

-I believe that the “forgive your friend” applies to both Navi and Zelda. Link must forgive Navi for leaving him in his time of emotional need after being sent away by his love and he must forgive Zelda for sending him back and forcing him into such loneliness, grief, and almost uncopable trauma that to everyone else “never happened”

-Anju and Kafei foils Link and Zelda (It's a storytelling tool. It means they parallel each other inversely and are thus contrasted)

The Wind Waker

-they’re kids but...Link has a crush on Tetra

Twilight Princess

-this one is really complicated because I wrote a whole fic about it but basically after the events of Twilight Princess he becomes her knight attendant and they fall in love 

Phantom Hourglass

-Link realizes that his crush on Tetra is a crush on Tetra about halfway through the game. Linebeck says something snarky like “you didn’t know that? It’s so obvious” or something like that

-Tetra still sees him as the goofball he is

-As they grow older and mature a bit they go from good friends to full-on lovers

Spirit Tracks

-they both have BIG crushes on each other

Skyward Sword

-I don’t even know what to tell you 

-I literally wrote two books on the subject

Breath of the Wild

-they change by the hour and they all contradict each other

-Nintendo please give me clarity on Friday

-Okay but they also get married and have twins. Zelda is on bedrest and Link  tells her to stay put but she doesn’t listen and goes to where she was conducting experiments (all the way to Blatchery Plain) Link finds her and gets upset that she’s nine months and went all the way out there but she insists she’s fine. They sit and relax for a bit but it isn’t long until her water breaks. They kind of have a dejavu moment when Link says “if we can just make it to Kakariko you’ll be fine”, which is what Zelda said to a very injured link a hundred years ago a while before the “memory” started. Anyways, Link makes a joke like “why is it always here?”. She ends up having the twins at Dueling Peaks Stable. Link and Zelda each get to name one. Link names the boy Elijah and Zelda names the girl Wendy, deciding finally on not continuing the “Zelda” trend. Once Zelda has recovered, and once they get visits from Kass, Sidon, Riju, Yunobo, Teba, and basically the rest of Hyrule, Link and Zelda go back to their home in Hateno carrying their children lovingly in their arms.

-or something like that idk

Thank you so much for the ask!!

Did it satisfy your wildest dreams because I guess I could elaborate idk my head hurts from graduate school applications

[prince-boi]

From Your Dearest

Reader x Mark

Word Count: 2,760~ish words idk I didn’t count properly, I know there’s 1,034 “i”s in this fic

Angst, Like really angsty, like get some tissues angsty. Major Angst ahead lol. Like I felt like a horrible person writing this. I want to punch myself in the face.

 (Btw I just copied and pasted half of a fic I wrote like idk last year or something and I changed the ending of the story too. So don’t get pissed and call me out if you think I’m lazy or something, mate.)

We met each other at the grocery store:

“Mum! Who’s that girl!” a small boy asked in while pointing to y/n.

“Oi! Don’t point! That’s rude Mark!” the parent scolded. The boy pouted, he only wanted an answer.

Y/n’s parent bent down to his level, “I’m your mother’s friend, this is y/n, she will be staying at your place for a little bit because I need to do some grown-up things. Is that okay with you?” Mark looked up at his mother with a questioning face, she chuckled and nodded. Mark sneaked a glance at the shy girl that was hiding behind the unfamiliar adult and held out his hand, smiling as he did so,

“Let’s be friends!”

When we entered primary school:

Our parents sent us to the same school, we knew no one else besides each other and some other kids from our neighbourhood. We all ran into our lines, ready to be welcomed into a neat classroom as the bell rang.

“Good morning students! My name is Ms Gonsha, I will be your teacher.” Little Lunch Reference.

The teacher started calling the roll, and after we started our first lesson: Art.

Paint few here, pencils shreddings were being emptied in the bins, glue was being eaten, crayons were being snapped in half.

“Art is my favourite subject” You stated happily to Mark. You and Mark had grown close to each other since the first day they met, they were a troublemaking duo, partners in crime.

“Mark! Come sit with us!” Y/n called over.

It was lunch-time and Mark was sitting on the swing-sets alone, eating his chicken sandwich. You ran over, grabbing his wrist and lunch box, dragging him back to your lunch table with all your other friends.

After you all finished eating, you played tiggy with all the other kids until it was home time.

Highschool - Junior years, a place with a cess-pool full of moody and rowdy kids:

“Boys are better than girls!! We’re stronger!”

“Wrong! Strength doesn’t make someone better! It’s obvious that girls are way better!”

Here we go again, the groups are fighting over the lunch tables. Mark could see that you weren’t having much fun in this, and neither was he. Mark wanted to get out ASAP. Sneaking over, he tugged your uniform. Grabbing your arm, he pulled you away and sitting you under a tree.

“It sucks that you’re taller than me, you’re a girl!”

“Nah, you just haven’t had your growth spurt yet.” You loved teasing Mark with your height, it was typical for girls to be taller than most boys at this age, after all, you just hit puberty.

You and Mark had kept your distance during your time in 7 to 9th grade. Everyone always seems to think that someone was dating even if they were JUST friends.

Finally, Senior year of highschool. We’re almost mature and fully grown adults, graduation on our minds:

It wasn’t a surprise that you two got shipped a lot in school. Almost the entire year level knew you guys were the best of best friends. It was obvious too, you two were the clowns of the class.

However, that was when you found out you had a disease in your cardiovascular system. A sickness that affects the function of the human heart that could lead to the grave, if not treated. Nobody knew this, not even Mark, only the people in your family.

The first time you found out, you were crushed, devastated.

Mark was always there by your side though. He never knew the reason for why you were also so upset, tired or growing weak so suddenly. It took a while to pull you out of your hole of misery, but he did.

Through this journey, you learnt many things about appreciation, value and time. You experienced many emotions, most of which were new to you. However, one emotion struck you hard.

This emotion or ‘feeling’ is the driver of passion, anger, desire, lust, insanity or spirit within many people.

This feeling is known no other than ‘love’.

Which one day lead to you leaving a secret love letter in a special someone’s locker on Valentine’s Day.

University and College, we’ve been separated, but we were only a few blocks away from each other. Is this fate that we’ve been together for so long?:

Laughing filled the dorm room.

“HAHAHAHAHA, STOP IT NOW MY STOMACH HURTS.” one of your colleagues yelled. You just cracked one your all-time joke, the best joke you had used since you were young.

Life was good, well, except for the fact that you still had the heart disease and still never told Mark how you really felt about him. It was too late for that now.

Since you guys were separated into different study centres, he managed to find a girlfriend. Well, the girlfriend found him really. It hit you hard the moment he told you, but you were happy for him, even though you felt a BIT bitter. read: very

The future - the one thing no one can correctly predict, nor can they promise success or failure. This powerful thing contains the fate that could send you to the streets or lead you to your dreams:

You were happy, we had your dream job, moved overseas and you were still young. Mark had made it into SM Entertainment. He is in a group called NCT. Not only did he debut but he did it THREE times, too!(and possibly more in future). Another thing was that he wasn’t dating anymore, the girl he went out with turned out to be a mongrel.

Cliché or not, she was a backstabber and used him to get what she wanted: to make her ex jealous. Leaving Mark dangling with insincere memories.

You still loved him. You still looked at him with all the love in the world. All the love the universe could give you. The pure, innocent, puppy love waaaay back in highschool.

Halfway through the year, you got an emergency call to go to the hospital.

“Miss (your last name), I’m afraid your heart can’t take it anymore, you still have long left. We estimate you to only live 1 more year unless we find a matching heart donor.” the doctor said in a stern tone.

There. That was the moment. The sentences that made the cookie crumble.

You broke down, your life was perfect the way it was, a loving best friend, a wonderful job, a beautiful home. What did you do to deserve this?

Later that week, you manage to find courage. After getting a grip on yourself, you decided to go to Mark’s dorm to tell him the long-awaited news.

3 knocks on the door were all it took for you to suddenly hear someone storming to the door, flinging it open.

“WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME EARLIER?!!” Mark screamed. You saw that he had tears on his flushed, rosy cheeks, glassy, swollen eyes and red tinted nose. You glanced behind him, seeing a wire bin, filled with squishy tissues, probably from runny snot and tears.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to–”

“I AM YOUR FRIEND. No. YOUR BEST FRIEND. FOR HOW MANY YEARS?! I THOUGHT YOU WOULD TELL ME THESE THINGS!” you’ve never seen Mark like this in a long time. He was broken, roaring out all his bottled anger and frustration. 

You were about to say something when he embraced you in a tight grasp.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for not being there, I’m sorry for yelling….” you felt your shoulder getting wet, and lead him. Sitting him down on the sofa.

You calmed him down and consulted him. You lightened the mood a little by telling Mark his favourite joke. Light sounds of laughter were heard throughout the night.

Mark decided to let you stay at the dorms for the night.

You only had 3 months left, I promise to give you everything, even if it kills me:

You had never felt so alive for so long. Mark had shown you places you never thought you’d see, both physically and spiritually. Nothing was on your mind but what was happening at the moment. Mark had taught you how to live - to live in the present and not worry about the future or dwell in the past.

After the many adventures, the both of you had been on, Mark said that he had to start promoting with NCT again. You hadn’t seen him for almost 2 months. The first month he had some issues to sort out with his company, before meeting you again. However, it was only a short visit before he had to return to Canada to visit his family. Staying there for 1 month.

You received a letter from the hospital, saying that you were blessed. They had finally found a heart donor that matches you!! You were so happy and in complete bliss. You wanted to call Mark and tell him about the notice, but he didn’t pick up. You tried again for the next few days, he still never picked up.

The night sky shone through the window as you laid in the hospital bed. You checked your phone one last time before you decided to sleep. Then you realized Mark had finally contacted you by text.

Mark: I’m so sorry y/n, I won’t be able to make it to you on time. I hope surgery will go smoothly. Trust my heart.

I’m sorry, last goodbyes are always difficult. Please know that I’ll be watching over you:

The day finally came. You were getting your heart transplant. As you entered the operation room, you were scared, but you thought of the text Mark sent, it calmed you just a little.

When you healed, the first place you went to was Mark’s dorm. You continued knocking. Until a very sleepy Haechan swung open the door.

“Who are you, and why do you have to visit us at such an ungODLY HOUR on the weEKENDS!”

“MorNING HAECHAN!! Is Mark here?!”

No answer.

You cocked your head at Haechan’s reaction. Usually, he would’ve given you a snide remark or joke about what Mark was up to. However, this time he lowered his head. Shuffling back inside, leaving the door wide open for you to come in.

You run in the living room, not a sign of Mark. Just Jaehyun, Doyoung and Taeil watching a movie. They turned to you, Doyoung opened his mouth to say something but you heard someone call out in the kitchen. Waving politely to the three boys sitting on the couch, you headed towards the kitchen.

“Hi Taeyong, Yuta, Winwin! How are you all?”

“Hi y/n! Back so soon? Shouldn’t you be resting after your surgery?” Taeyong asked, surprised by your greeting.

“It’s all good! The doctors said that I’m fully recovered and that I should be good to go.” You happy replied.

Taeyong smiled, “That’s good! Oh, can you pass those bowl to Sicheng and Yuta? They’ve been starving all day.” yuwin

“Sure thing.” You went over to Taeyong and carefully carried the 2 bowls of steaming phở to Yuta and Winwin, who were sitting on the kitchen bench.

“Thanks, y/n!” They said in unison, before starting to scoff down the food.

“Oh! By the way, do you guys know where Mark is?” You curiously asked.

Just before you finished talking, Yuta started choking on the rice noodles, causing Sicheng to panic.yuwin Taeyong spun around, accidentally knocking over the bowl full of water and bean sprouts.

“Ah- y/n, did he not tell you?” Taeyong suddenly asked, not caring about the mess he made on the floor.

“Whats all the commotion about?” Before you could even form a response, Johnny rushed into the kitchen, “Is everything okay in here guys?... and Y/n?”

There was a long silence, the tension began building up slowly.

Taeyong bent down and started cleaning up, “Well, we were on the topic about... Mark.”

Johnny’s face dropped. His usual cheery attitude seemed to have faded away. “Oh.”

You couldn’t take it anymore, you were confused and frustrated. You now had a bad feeling growing in your gut, “Guys! I just want to know where Mark is! Did something bad happened to him while I was gone?? I’m lost...”

Straightening himself up, Taeyong signalled to Johnny to clean up whatever was left of the mess on the floor.

“Come with me, y/n.”

Slowly, you were guided into his room, then left alone. You slowly twisted the knob.

It was completely different to the last time you saw it. Lifeless, boxes stacked in neat towers, the bed covered with a large plastic sheet. His roommate, Haechan, no longer was in the room and had probably moved into a different room with another member.

You walked around the room, observing everything closely. Everything was packed up, either wrapped or boxed. You passed his desktop. His phone laid there alongside his laptop and headphones. What seemed like hundreds of pages, containing messy scribbles of passionate lyrics and doodles, stacked neatly in a pile.

You tip-toed over to his bed. No blanket or pillow, just the bare mattress covered by a plastic wrap. You checked under his bed, feeling more sentimental than ever.

There you saw his beloved guitar. His favourite pair of sneakers and a shoe box. However, that caught your eye was the shoe box. It had a ribbon hanging out from it. Letting your curiosity taking over the best of you, you carefully pulled out the box.

You picked it up carefully and placed it on his bed. Warily opening the lid, you were presented with a number of items the box contained. You looked through the many polaroids of Mark and the other NCT members. Some of them have cute little messages written behind them. Then you found a framed portrait of him in Canada, posing with his family during Christmas.

You smiled warmly, he was always close to his family and loved them dearly. You placed the frame down next to the box with the utmost care and continued exploring through the box.

You then found another framed portrait, this time it contained you and Mark. You stretched your head, thinking of they he would frame such a photo like this. It was taken on the day that he officially debuted, when ‘The 7th Sense’ was finally released to the world. In the picture, Mark was giving you a piggyback, your hair wild and tossed from the wind.

Putting that portrait down next to the one of his family. You gave one last look in the box again, seeing a familiar red card. Picking up the card, you opened it. Skimming through the message inside it, you realised that it was the same love letter you wrote to him in high school. But you noticed there was more writing on the back. This time, with Mark’s handwriting;

Hello, my wonderful Y/N!!

If you’re reading this, it must mean that the surgery went well! :D

Haha, jokes aside, I’m sorry I wasn't there to see you going in but I hope you weren’t too nervous. I’m so, so sorry, be happy and smile for me okay?

This love letter... I always knew this letter was from you y/n, I always had. I’m not as dumb as you think I am ;)

I loved you since 7th grade and wanted to confess to you so so so badly for all these years. But I was a coward I guess. A chicken, a fool, a dullard, call me whatever you want, but when I heard you had that heart disease, I wanted to make it up to you. So I made it my goal to get rid of it.

I searched for the perfect heart donor. I searched, I really did, far and wide to find one. But perhaps I’m just unlucky because I never found one. However, after I became an idol, I had to do health checks. When I got my results back, I was shocked to see that we had a match!

I informed my company and needed to visit my parents to confirm my decision, it took a while, but here we are.

If you haven’t figured it out yet, yes, I am your heart donor. Jeez Y/n, I thought you were smarter than that.

I may not have been the perfect best friend or your maybe future husband/boyfriend, but I least I can be with you to the end of time.

My heart will keep you going! So please, look after it and look after the boys of NCT! I’ll miss you... I hope you’ll miss me too...

From your dearest, Mark Lee♡

Fucking idk whether to cry or cringe.

[yoolee]

Lucky be a Lady (or Laddie)

OKAY. I HAD A REALLY LONG DRIVE and there was actually like NO traffic for once so I could put my cruise control, and, since my speakers died and I could neither listen to radio nor books on tape like usual, I decided to come up with an otome game plot in all of its TRITE, CAMPY, UNABASHEDLY CLICHED GLORY.

(This is not edited, this is not thought through – this was voice-to-texted on a LONG DRIVE and I went through to at least make sure there were more or less coherent sentences)

OK.

SO.

MEET THE CHOSEN ONES. They are a very sweet old couple (Ferreole and Eula) now in their mid seventies, and they have a passel of grandchildren and their great grandchild being born is the impetus for their decision to FULLY RETIRE from the whole ‘Chosen One’ business.

Being a REASONABLE, LEVEL-HEADED, TOTALLY RATIONAL COUPLE that has stayed together through decades of knitting with magic wands and losing Excalibur with their golf clubs, they decide to leave it up to fate.

(Fate works BEST in subway stations, if you didn’t know, so they go to one)

WHERE YOU ARE.

YOU are an adjunct professor/post-doc in…something, idk, anthropology probably, and a series of totally random events in your morning (outlined in the prologue) mean that you get to the train station JUST in time to miss it.

So you sit down. And the sweet couple sitting there BEAM at you, and you can’t help but smile back, even as you commiserate – “Gosh, I just haven’t been having any luck lately.”

AND THEIR SMILES GET BIGGER

AND TA-DA.

YOU ARE THE CHOSEN ONE.  

Your new superpower is luck.

Unfortunately for you – luck can be either good or bad.

(And there we have the driving point for most of the subplots in the story.)

OKAY SO IT’S AN OTOME GAME LET’S GET TO THE LOVE INTERESTS

THE SUPER VILLAIN: Kind of a moody little shit. Only a super villain because of the family business so he kind of half asses it most days – just not really all that interested in it. BUT. He gets really pissed off when YOU half ass things like he calls up your sidekick to come pick you up, “Like why would I even bother with the vat of sharks if you're going to get tripped up by the first henchmen you come across you have a month to get better at this” and in the meantime he’ll stick to moderate evil stuff like moving people’s parking tickets so they get EVEN MORE.  His day job is probably has like a veterinarian or something because just because he hates people doesn't mean that animals aren’t cool. Probably listens to 90’s grunge music while he’s causing destruction. Holds great affection for your Magical Talking Animal Sidekick and can be distracted mid-battle by trying to offer it treats. 

YOUR SIDEKICK: So your sidekick is just generally super earnest and excited and like gungho golden boy/ golden retriever. He’s a lot smarter than he gets credit for, and knows everything there is to know because he's been in this business for a while since he's probably one of Eula and Ferreole’s grandbabies, but you know, queue tragic backstory or something, like he's probably super lonely because he knows all the stuff about the world that no one else knows so he can’t really connect with people. GOOD GRANDCHILD, visits them a lot and goes grocery shopping for them. Kind of a nerd, but also not AS bright as all you professor-types, and would rather stick to PUNCH THE BAD THING, but, has a knack for solving off-the-wall riddles and puzzles too.

THE MAD SCIENTIST/BEST FRIEND:  Inadvertently, but, you know every superhero story needs a mad scientist SO. She is a girl genius extraordinaire, youngest head of her department blah blah blah something like a physicist (astrophysicist? quantum mechanics?) Probably collects degrees cause it's fun but her experiments get a little bit questionably ethical? When they involve people? In other people’s routes you are kind of her guinea pig and she probably builds your armor and gadgets and stuff? And then starts go down a slippery slope in her own route. ANYWAY, she's hella smart (you're smart too, but she's like mad scientist genius smart so.)

VILLAINOUS SIDEKICK: The super villain is kind of pretty chill but THE SIDEKICK WOAH super mega angst issues hey, so, hates everything in the world and is just like biding his time and learning stuff that he can become his own super villain. He's going to probably actually be really fucking scary if he goes that route. ALSO because this is how luck and otome games work, he’s your teaching assistant for the semester LUCKY YOU and, you are not an idiot so you figure out that he's your teaching assistant pretty quickly but considering the most evil thing that he could possibly do would be to leave you to create your own midterms, you keep him around. AND EVERYONE DESERVES AN EDUCATION and he’d lose his stipend if you fired him he’s the bad guy not you OKAY? You probably both get in a shit ton of trouble all the time because you fight (like, have this big epic battles and then lab, and oh god, no, I’m not cleaning this up, well you’re the TA, yeah well you’re the responsible adult YOU do it) anyway total jerk, yes.

GRUMPY CIVILIAN BARTENDER: Every good superhero needs a bartender because they deal with a lot of shit and alcohol (sometimes, for some people, including heroine) helps, so grumpy civilian dude or lady or NB, basically their function is to serve you alcohol and listen to you lament while offering sarcastic advice. They are probably the earnest sidekick’s best friend and to balance out all of that happy cheerful excitement they are super grumpy as established by the name grumpy civilian bartender. They take care of you but they also are probably more antihero than anything, so, the advice they give is skewed towards BAD THINGS. Absolutely nothing magical or (un)lucky ever happens in their bar. You’re pretty sure it’s cursed. Or blessed. It’s hard to tell?

JOURNALIST:  Possibly a journalist because no superhero story seem to know of a journalist or better yet like social media fan like a person who makes your page to be a fan of your childhood friend I don't know

SUPPORTING CAST

FERREOLE & EULA: They were the chosen ones until they dumped that on you (lucky you—literally) they are in their mid-70s and retired and they kind of show up on and off to give you advice but they're busy enjoying their retirement. Their room of collected Stuff has all kinds of things – reality checks (they bounce), crystal balls, poker chips, a pegasus, fishing gear, orbs of time, etc. etc…

SOME MAGICAL ANIMAL, PROBABLY A DUCK OR POSSUM: So of course you have a magical talking animal to guide you because what is a good story about magic and superheroes without a robot and/or animal and animals are cuter in terms of sprites so it's probably like a POSSUM or something random because you're that kind of special I guess. Probably a talking duck. You are stuck at something super ridiculous as a result of your bad luck—like a cat would be nice and normal to carry around and no one will question you talking to your cat but everyone has all kinds of questions when you try and carry a possum or duck into your house.

THE APP USERS: Halfway through the story Ferreole and Eula call you to say ask if hey you've downloaded the chosen one app yet and you're like what the fuck there's an app and they're like of course there is this is the 21st-century you didn't think you'd have to do this all by yourself? Right. That's bullshit we have Wikipedia now. So, the APP USERS. People who have done fairies favors and people who have brushed up against the other side who have dreams that come true sometimes or see spirits and shadows move where others don't they show up sometimes because your LUCK means you will just cross paths as needed.

[almaasi]

you have witch powers? i've always been fascinated with "paranormal" stuff, including magic, so i was wondering if u could tell me stuff about it. is magic real? what kind of stuff did ur grandma do? are ghosts and spirits real too? what kinds of spells can witches cast? is it like supernatural? sorry if i'm asking a lot of questions i'm just so fascinated and curious. i didn't even know witches were like, legit until i read ur tags, i just thought that people back then said that so they had 1/2

2/2 a reason to burn a woman they didn’t like. ok now i’m rambling but in short, what can u tell me about witch stuff? i’m just asking cause i’m really curious :)

(about my tags on this)

#whenever phil gets out the tarot cards and pulls something scarily accurate i’m just like…. yes…. good…show us your witch powers…… #(my own experience with tarot? so reassuring. and calming. it’s like asking for a friend’s advice but that friend is your own brain.) #also my great grandmother was a witch by profession and i definitely got some of her magic #i have not yet learned to recognise a feeling when i feel it.. but when stuff happens later i’m like OH THAT WAS MY MYSTERIOUS FEELING #one of our sheep died a week or so ago.. and for two days straight i was outside in the middle of the night staring at the moon #and wondering why i felt death in the air #and the rain made me cry and it felt like release but i didn’t know why #and i immediately started worrying about our sheep but didn’t follow up to see if they were okay #then two days later my mother comes in and tells me one of our sheep died and two days ago had given my mother “the death look” #if you’ve never seen someone or something die… there’s this look they have that’s like a disgraced peacefulness and self-awareness #but basically i knew the sheep was gonna die without any reason for me to think that #and i need to learn to follow up on my instincts because they’re ever-present and i never know when it’s a psychic thing or random anxiety #disclaimer: IS IT ALL BULLSHIT who knows? but science doesn’t know a whole lot about a lot of things and this stuff is natural to me #so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

okay!! i was expecting someone to ask, so here goes. (in case anyone’s wondering, this is a personal post, and no, i’m not making this stuff up.) (feel free to reblog if you want. but it’s so goddamn long aaah)

first off, an opinion: whether or not you believe magic is real in this world is entirely related to whether or not it is real. at least in my books. magic/paramormal stuff can always be observed, but if you don’t believe it’s anything beyond coincidence or skilled trickery, it’s not gonna impact you.

i do believe in ghosts (or djinns, or something else human-like), but in my experience they don’t really do anything except exist in some other realm and occasionally become visible when i’m at my most lucid, at that point between waking and sleeping. most people (myself included) would say it’s just a hallucination. but like…. who’s to say it isn’t real, just in a way we as humans don’t yet understand? y’know?

the most interesting ghost sighting i’ve experienced was when i was fully awake, not hallucinating. i was in a car with my sister, my sister’s friend, and her mother - and we drove over a bridge, and i saw a fritzing semi-translucent black figure walking along the peak. i looked back and it was gone. it wasn’t scary, it was just really cool. i saw that with my own two eyes, i have zero doubt i saw it, and for that moment, it was there.

other times i’ve seen things pass through walls, or felt presences in the room that vanish when i look. i get deja vu maybe once a week. the ability comes and goes in phases, switched on and off whenever i tell someone about it. it’s like that part of my brain gets really shy and goes into hiding when it’s mentioned.

sometimes it can be pretty powerful. there’ve been moments when a deja vu begins, i remember it from a dream, fast-forward through the memory to remember what happens, and i get ahead of present time, so i predict what’s in front of me by about one to three seconds. usually it’s snippets of conversation, or my hands moving to complete an action, or words i’m typing. (let me tell you, it’s so freaking bizarre when you’re consciously typing, thinking about what you’re typing, and simultaneously remembering typing it before, and knowing what you’re about to type despite not yet knowing. and then seeing it happen. i think a lot of people reading this would be like “what?” but i know there’s someone out there who knows exactly what i mean)

for a long time in my teenage years i told people i’d see coloured figures, like auras without physical people, just hanging around out there in the world, but due to health issues a lot of my teenage memories are gone, and the only memory i have of that stuff is the recollection of me telling people about it, and remembering it while telling people. it’s really weird. i sometimes think maybe i made that up?? but i don’t understand why i’d do that when i do actually see other things sometimes.

once, my family visited this old historic building, and i remember seeing a woman in a maid’s outfit duck through a doorway. but she wasn’t actually there. so. idk.

my great-grandmother (or great-great grandmother?) on my mother’s side used to sell love spells to the people in her Indian village. my mother told me about it when i was little. my [great] great grandmother would write a spell on parchment, and the client had to go home and burn it in their fire. and she would curse people, in exchange for payment. that’s all i know about that. but my grandmother (also on my mother’s side) used to have some kind of power, i never got to ask about it while she was still alive. (she was an awesome woman. one of the first women in her country and generation to go to university.)

personally, having been raised as a muslim, i always felt really disconnected from the culture and practices of the religion, even though i believe in the supernatural aspects of it right down to my core. that’s despite my ultimate acknowledgement of facts being deeply rooted in hard science. recently (like, in the past few months) i’ve started to rediscover my faith - directly following on from a quiet interest in the pinterest & instagram aesthetics of paganism and new age magic, which as a concept i was never really sure about. i just really liked how it looked. basically, it clicked in my brain that islamic prayers could, in essence, just be spells. you gotta take everything with a grain of salt. they might not work. but that’s the beauty of it.

a few weeks ago i stumbled across a prayer on tumblr, and read its intended purpose: “Allah will grant whoever recites this seven times in the morning or evening whatever he desires from this world or the next”.

and… i started to think, maybe the purpose is not to actually do that. nothing ought to be a get-out-of-jail-free/do-this-and-your-life-is-made type thing. maybe the purpose is to make you believe nothing can go wrong. and that every bad thing that happens–? it happens so that you can learn from it. and eventually, after many things change, you realise what you desire was not the thing you thought you desired. (idk how to explain that. an example from my life: i really wanted to be a veterinarian growing up. then i got sick, dropped out of school. and now i’m a writer. i want to be a writer more than i ever wanted to be a vet. i had to get sick and my life had to fall apart before i could discover that. writing was never something i’d have considered before.)

my point is, if you believe everything that happens to you will ultimately be a good thing, bad things don’t hurt so much.

and if you take something as a sign, it’s a sign. it’s just your own brain taking hints from the world around you and using them to conjure up a decision. if you wanna believe it’s magic, it is.

personally i like protection prayers/spells and just…generally positive ones. i say prayers for sick friends, people who i see on my tumblr dash who are having a bad time, and if i see or hear about disasters or worldwide events. i’m not expecting it to have a visible impact, but like.. what’s the harm? at the very least it makes me feel like i did something if i don’t have money to give, or i can’t be there with a friend, or the world is falling apart and i’m helpless. praying or saying a spell is just hoping, really, really hard. if some greater being is out there, listening? cool. (but what if god doesn’t wanna do anything? maybe it’s like my cupcake theory. god puts the ingredients in a baking tray, shoves it in the oven, forgets about it. the universe rises as a cupcake. god made it. but the universe is doing its own damn thing.)

regarding tarot cards: again, it’s self-reflection. you can believe answers come from outside influences, but it’s easily just as much about interpreting generic advice and making it mean something to you. but personally i’ve drawn random cards, and known that no other card in the deck would’ve been as relevant at that moment. i’ve used tarot cards to determine the endings for my stories, and coincidentally pulled cards that directly represent my title characters.

one time i was thinking about my fic “The Moonlighter and the Magician” and the card i pulled first was The Magician. and i was like gee thanks tarot cards that’s helpful. (but actually? it meant those cards were on the same wavelength as me. think about it. 78 cards, there’s a one in 78 chance i pull that one on my first try.)

apart from my wonky first-ever tarot readings with the Rider-Waite travel-size tarot deck (which belonged to my mother), i’ve never pulled anything that didn’t eventually make sense. i use The Wild Unknown cards now, i relate to them so much more. plus they’re mine, not borrowed or abandoned for years, which probably helps. (buying those cards was the most money i ever spent on anything. i don’t regret it.)

is any of this like the show ‘supernatural’? not really. the closest i can say my experiences have come to the show would be the episode “faith”. just, the whole episode. it doesn’t matter if it’s the real deal, so long as it works. and boy, does it work for me. and a lot of other people.

like i said, all the spirit-like entities i’ve encountered have been perfectly benign. no monsters, except things i’m pretty sure are nightmares.

but on that note, i take a lot of things to help me sleep. if i didn’t, i’d be waking up screaming night and day (i hit whistle register while screaming, once). i see faces in the dark and creatures in my bedroom, even when my eyes are closed and i’m awake. i sleep with a light on, and i prefer to sleep in the day. i cannot even deal with the presences in my room.

for that matter, my room is definitely the most presence-heavy room in the house. now, although it’s obviously just in a drafty area, i feel the cold spots. all. the. time. i’m feeling one right now as i type this. the door and window are both closed. the heater is always on. the draft comes from the same corner of the ceiling my cat stares at when she’s “staring into space”. there’s definitely something there, but it legit doesn’t bother me. it watches me get dressed sometimes, but it’s not weird about it. like i said, benign.

i feel energy everywhere i go. i can’t stay in my family’s open plan living room comfortably for more than a few minutes, because that room is filled with people and pets coming and going all freaking day, and even when it’s empty, it’s so LOUD. there’s vibrations and voices coming out of the walls, because the house absorbs it all. as a generally tired person, that room exhausts me. i can only stay there if i have social energy. (yes, even an empty room.)

i am so, so sensitive to people’s moods and the energy they let out (to the point where i burst out screaming if i see a negative microexpression during a personal conversation). i find phone calls very difficult, not just because of social anxiety, but because i can’t sense energy as easily as i want to, and is natural for me. skype calls aren’t the same as being there in person. a lot of this could also be autism-related, but nearly everything about me is autism-related, because i’m autistic. go figure.

one time, the day i had my first period, i passed out in a maths exam. all the other times in my life, i’ve seen black or maybe red when i passed out, but this time it was a striking cobalt blue. and i heard SO MANY VOICES, i thought the whole classroom was full of people shouting. my P.E. teacher was observing that exam, she carried me out of the room and lay me on the floor outside. i told her about the voices, she looked at me in confusion and said “there were no voices?? the whole room was silent for the exam.” obviously that was a weird day, but given the amount of times i’ve lost conciousness in my life, before and after that day, i know the warm muggy feeling of slipping away, and i guarantee that one was just a little bit not-normal.

my cat Wilson follows me everywhere. if you’ve ever seen a picture of a witch and her familiar, that’s me and Wilson. she leaves the house if i leave, and she’ll walk down the road beside me to make sure i stay safe. she only lets me leave completely if i go in a car, but even then, she tries to come too. i know what she says when she talks. she speaks in words for me. it translates naturally in my head without a thinking process.

there was this one time when i was about 15 my parents took me to an after-hours medical centre because apparently i was ~speaking in tongues~ or whatever. i don’t remember it, i remember ‘waking up’ with a doctor’s flashlight in my eyes, crying, then holding my sister’s hand as we looked at the fish in the fishtank afterwards. i can’t say how legit that is because i just.. don’t remember it.

one time as a kid, i am absolutely sure i was possessed for about 30 seconds. i was walking down the street on a balmy English afternoon, pine needles scattered underfoot, with my elderly grandmother (paternal), my grandfather, and my sister. i must’ve been 6 or 7? and a streak of evil just bolted through me. and i stuck out my foot and my grandmother fell flat on her face. my grandfather tried to help her up, a car driving by pulled up and asked if they needed help, grandfather said no, and got her back to her feet. i can’t remember if i felt remorse. i think i just knew instinctively that it wasn’t me who did it. but like.. i wasn’t just A Nice Kid, okay, i was The Nicest Kid. i just don’t do things like that. ever. especially not to a kind and generous grandmother who i love so very dearly. i never had before, and i never have since. that’s the single most evil thing i’ve ever done in my life and it came out of nowhere. being more aware now, i think it was a djinn (aka a demon in christian beliefs, i think). they’re known for being mischievous. (my grandmother was fine, by the way. this is the first time i’ve told anyone about this.) now i think about it, i remember cobalt blue behind my eyes then, too.

whoops, this is a really long post now. but uh… basically, i’ve just always been open to feeling these things, and believing in what i sense for myself, without subscribing to whether or not the science has been done yet. in fact, i think i’m open to it because i experienced the same stuff when i was young. the energy i feel is very much real to me, completely tangible. i’ve never been able to see auras, but i feel them on some people. i think just being open to feeling something makes it more likely to come to you. i try not to ignore my instincts (because they’re always right. always.) but i find it’s super hard to distinguish between anxiety (which i feel often) and magical ability (which is far less commonly felt). also sometimes the instinct is so faint it doesn’t even become a passing thought, just a blur of something i half-considered. but in hindsight i realise what it ought to have been, had i paid proper attention.

i can comfortably manage to go outside in bare feet, shut my eyes and let the moonlight do its thing. it has an immensely powerful energy, i always feel cleaner inside when i go back in. (my cat Wilson sometimes asks me to go outside with her when there’s a full moon. almost every night, especially on warm nights, but even freezing ones, we can just stand out there for an hour together. watching the moon set is transcendent. far more so than a sunset.)

right now, due to years of bad health, i have to force some natural abilities away (like the nightmares) because they’re too much for me to handle. i think as i recover, over time it’ll be easier for me to accept that stuff back into my life.

oh, one more thing, regarding my health - i have celiac disease, which has kept me essentially bedridden for the last 7+ years - WHICH BY THE WAY, my family spent literally 9 years trying to diagnose. my doctor kept doing an anaemia test, telling me there was nothing wrong with me and sending me back to school. i saw various specialists, herbalists, a naturopath, physiotherapists, cardiologists, had an MRI scan, saw family counsellors, school counsellors, a hypnotist, etc etc - basically consulted every medical professional under the sun when a simple blood test would’ve done it. stupid misogynistic doctor who thinks all teenage girls fake it to get out of school.

but one thing we did do was visit a psychic, who told me i had something called a candida. my dad, a sceptic and nonbeliever, googled it and said it was “some kind of magical thing in the gut”, and was therefore bullshit, so we continued the search for a diagnosis. years later - years - after a change of doctor (who i chose because i got a good vibe from her picture) we find out it’s celiac disease, a disease of the gut. of the hundreds of people we saw, the only ones to even pinpoint the right body part were the psychics. i googled candida just now and guess what? literally celiac disease. this woman diagnosed me with celiac disease by kneeling at my feet, holding my hand, and shutting her eyes for 30 seconds.

for the record, slightly off topic, i know very few men in real life, and this is what the men in my life have been. my doctor, dismissing me as a liar because i was a teenage girl. and my father, dismissing my declining health as “not trying hard enough”, even now, more than a year after i was diagnosed by a doctor. i think this is why i take refuge with male fictional characters. they’re better. i want them to be soft and understanding like the men i’ve never known.

anyway, this is the part of my life’s story i never really pieced together until right now. it’s a lot, more than i expected. i happily call myself a witch. most of my magic goes into my stories, and i think a lot of people who read them feel it, even if they translate it as passion or love or good vibes or something. the amazing comments i get would speak to that. i love the energy i get from comments, because it does come through in typed words, even if it’s much fainter than seeing people face-to-face. some comments just hit me with waves of goodness, even if the words themselves aren’t so powerful. so i really appreciate that stuff. it’s good stuff.

yep. that’s all. i hope this satisfies your curiosity, anon!!!

[aububuh]

All the asks!

KrisSpotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? - Google Play!

is your room messy or clean? - It’s... organized.  I know where most things in it are, and it looks fairly presentable.

what color are your eyes? - Hazel, mostly

do you like your name? why? - My first name + my middle name means “elf king elf”, which I guess is okay.

what is your relationship status? - Got a smooch pal, which is nice

describe your personality in 3 words or less - Trying to relax

what color hair do you have? - Dirty blond

what kind of car do you drive? color? - Invisible

where do you shop? - Record stores, mostly

how would you describe your style - A whole lot of whatever’s in my dresser

favorite social media account - This one I guess

what size bed do you have? - Queen

any siblings? - Not blood ones, but my mom likes making friends my age and calling them my sisters.

if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? - Right now I kinda want to live in Austin for some reason.

favorite snapchat filter? - Oh face swap for sure

favorite makeup brand(s) - idk

how many times a week do you shower? - Usually 3-4, unless I particularly need one

favorite tv show? - Buffy!

shoe size? - Men’s 10.5

how tall are you? - 5′11″

sandals or sneakers? - Sneakers

do you go to the gym? - HAHA

describe your dream date - Hanging out in Austin for a week

how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? - No cash, but I just use my debit card for everything anyway.

what color socks are you wearing? - Invisible

how many pillows do you sleep with? - Two for my head and one big one that I cuddle with

do you have a job? what do you do? - I’m a freelance audio engineer.  I mostly do front of house shows for bands.  I would like to get more gigs, but the ones I do get pay pretty well, which is nice.

how many friends do you have? - Just a couple people I’m close to right now, but there’s a lot more who I would consider friends.

whats the worst thing you have ever done? - Ask me privately and I’ll tell you.  It’s not actually that bad and it’s kinda funny, but it’s embarrassing. 

whats your favorite candle scent? - Probably vanilla

3 favorite boy names - Gresplifts, Jangleboof, and Hhhhhhhhhhh

3 favorite girl names - Plestakorp, Brutskaplle, and Death

favorite actor? - Possibly Gary Oldman?  Idk, I just like his performances.

favorite actress? - I don’t really like that this is still different than “actor” but I guess Meryl Streep 

who is your celebrity crush? - Kristen Schaal

favorite movie? - The Room

do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? - I used to read for fun a lot more but I’ve been trying to get myself back into it.  I really love Geoff Emerick’s autobiography though, mostly because he’s one of my heroes.  I love how he came up on his own with a bunch of stuff that audio engineers take for granted now.

money or brains? - If I didn’t have a brain I wouldn’t be able to spend money, would I?  Fooled you, capitalism!

do you have a nickname? what is it? - Apart from my URL, I’ve been called Aubschnog, but that was by someone I haven’t seen in years.

how many times have you been to the hospital? - Just for myself?  I think only once.  I’ve visited people lots of times though.

top 10 favorite songs - OH BOY that’s hard.  Here’s a playlist I guess.  This is what I’m thinking are the most steady answers.

do you take any medications daily? - A few, for different reasons

what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) - bad

what is your biggest fear? - Self-sabotage

how many kids do you want? - Idk I’ll see how it goes

whats your go to hair style? - I like my hair better when it’s down but when I’m eating, working, or walking in the wind I keep it up in a ponytail.

what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) - Medium sized I guess.  It’s from the 70s.

who is your role model? - Musically, my dad, Mike Keneally, and Frank Zappa.  Personally, my dad, and all my good friends.

what was the last compliment you received? - I’ve been called cute a lot lately, which is very nice.

what was the last text you sent? - “Ask’d”

how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? - I don’t think I ever really believed in Santa tbh.  It was always a fantasy like anything else.

what is your dream car? - One that drives itself

opinion on smoking? - Cigarettes? Don’t.  Devil’s Lettuce?  Go for it I guess but I don’t like it.  

do you go to college? - Yep!

what is your dream job? - What I do now but more often and in bigger venues.

would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? - Suburbs.

do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? - Yeah, sometimes.  They can be useful.

do you have freckles? - Nope, but I think they’re super cute.

do you smile for pictures? - Yeah, I kinda have a practiced smile that looks fine in any picture.

how many pictures do you have on your phone? - A few hundred right now since I just got back from a trip, but I need to move some of them to my computer.

have you ever peed in the woods? - Absolutely

do you still watch cartoons? - ABSOLUTELY

do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? - Neither?

Favorite dipping sauce? - Probably something spicy with lemon pepper in it.  I need to figure out a recipe or something.

what do you wear to bed? - Whatever t shirt I wore that day + pajama pants

have you ever won a spelling bee? - Never entered one

what are your hobbies? - I like to learn new instruments.  The only problem is that this hobby gets real expensive real fast so I don’t have as many instruments as I’d like

can you draw? - I used to draw a lot but I haven’t been lately.  I guess I should get back into it.

do you play an instrument? - Currently keyboards, guitar, drums, a little bass, and I could probably figure out any other fretted thing you throw into my hands.

what was the last concert you saw? - The last big one was Jack DeJohnette’s trio.  Holy shit what a performance.

tea or coffee? - Coffee

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? - Starbucks has more locations in places where I’m likely to need to get coffee

do you want to get married? - Yeah, eventually.  Not soon though.

what is your crush’s first and last initial? - Going by her internet name it’s MF, which is pretty great tbh

are you going to change your last name when you get married? - I’d like to either hyphenate or have us both take the other’s last name as a middle name.

what color looks best on you? - Right now I’m thinking pink

do you miss anyone right now? - Yeah :(

do you sleep with your door open or closed?

do you believe in ghosts? - Not really, but I don’t specifically disbelieve in them either

what is your biggest pet peeve? - Incorrect past tense pronouns.  “Joe and me went to the movie” is wrong because you wouldn’t say “me went to the movie”, and so few people seem to know this.

last person you called - @mopedarooni.  Though I guess technically she called me.

favorite ice cream flavor? - Right now it’s cookies and cream.

regular oreos or golden oreos? - Regular

chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? - Rainbow!

what shirt are you wearing? - A Thelonious Monk institute shirt

what is your phone background? the cover to Spirit Phone by Lemon Demon

are you outgoing or shy? - Both about evenly, tbh

do you like it when people play with your hair? - Depends on who’s doing it.  With some people, no.  With certain others, very much so.

do you like your neighbors? - We don’t talk that much but they’re nice.

do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? - All of the above, when I remember to.

have you ever been high? - Not successfully

have you ever been drunk? - Yep

last thing you ate? - My dad made chicken and stuffed zucchini for dinner.  It was the first time I’ve ever enjoyed zucchini

favorite lyrics right now - Lemon Demon - Eighth Wonder

summer or winter? - Winter for weather, summer for everything else.

day or night? - I like the nighttime

dark, milk, or white chocolate? - Yes

favorite month? - August has my birthday and at least some summer

what is your zodiac sign - Virgo

who was the last person you cried in front of? - Full on tears, I’m not sure.  Coming close to tears, @mopedarooni

[aqueenpromised-blog]

Answering Tags! ♡♡

This has been the longest week of my life work, finals, and being sick with the stomach virus for three days. So with two finals down, A’s btw, and my new found ability to digest something without shitting my brains out, I have enough energy to answer these precious angels’ questions, I’m sorry again about taking so long. ♡♡ 

@starofvelaris @nightinsurgent @miladyaelin

1. An evil witch casts a spell on you, turning you into a plant. What kind of plant would you want to be?

I think I’d be a weeping willow, they’re like super magical looking and majestic. Plus I can imagine being someone’s shade as they read a book or have a picnic.  

2. If you could step into any fantasy world from any book series, which would you visit?

I’d definitely want to be apart of Sarah J. Maas’ ACOTAR World, because of the courts like can you imagine how amazing that would fucking look? 

3. Would you rather live in the Autumn Court or the Spring Court?

Oh definitely that Autumn Court, because it’s my favorite season especially if Lucien is the High Lord. 

4. What toppings do you order on your pizza?

Usually extra cheese and I’m good with just that. Lol. 

5. Describe your ideal Friday night.

Cuddling in a pile of blankets with my friends watching horror movies and eating pizza. 

6. Worst book you’ve ever read?

I really can’t remember one at the moment but I’m sure I’ve read a terrible book. 

7. Night or day? Dawn or twilight?

Day / Dawn 

1) Dream job? Do you have a plan to pursue it?

Ugh I want to be so many things, a historian, a Broadway singer, a Queen. Will I pursue them? Probably not. 

2) What characters do you want to have as best friends?

I want Jesper Fhay and Lysandra and Nehemia. 

3) Top hopes for ACOWAR?

LOOK MY OWN TRUE HOPE WAS FOR RHYSAND TO HAVE A POINT OF VIEW AND IT’S BEEN CONFIRMED I AM READY TO BE DESTROYED EMOTIONALLY. 

4) What are some things you’re really good at doing?

Getting stressed out about things

Singing show tunes, being a morning person, I make bomb ass coffiecito and cafe con leche, watching trash tv shows, and being an overachiever. 

5) What is some advice you would give your younger self if you had the chance?

Little me, don’t trust people so easily with your little heart and make sure the choices you make are entirely your own and for no one else. 

6) Do you relate to your zodiac sign at all?

Oh yeah definitely, I’m an Aquarius and they’re super free spirited and tend be fiercely independent. That’s basically me. 

7) If you could choose one moment in history to go back to what would it be?

SAVING THE LIBRARY OF ALEXANDRIA FOR FUCKSAKE.

8) What are some goals you have for this year?

To feel better about myself and do better with money. 

9) Some books you love but never blog about?

Lol. I have no self control so all the books I love I blog about. 

10) What makes you happy

Lin-Manuel Miranda never fails. 

1. Are you named after someone

Yes, its a morbid story. Lol. I was named after my mom’s sister. My grandma was pregnant with her sixth girl and she named her Ines, after a saint. But when my grandma gave birth she was still born. 

2. When was the last time you cried?

Thursday night, I woke up to a lot of abdominal pain and I was home alone. 

3. Do you like your handwriting?

For the most part yes but I have to have the right pen and not be rushed other wise it looks like a toddler was drunk and tried to take notes.

4. What’s your favourite lunch meat?

Chorizo. Ugh bitch fuck me up.

5. Do you have kids?

I have a cat, but otherwise no I do not. 

6. If you were another person, would you be friends with you?

Yes, I’m super witty and funny but also kinda awkward. 

7. Do you use sarcasm?

It’s like a second language to me.

8. Do you still have your tonsils?

Nope. I took them out when I was young and I got to have ice cream for two days. 

9. Would you bungee jump?

HA.

10. What is your favourite kind of cereal?

Ancient Grains Dark Chocolate and Almond 

11. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?

I slip them off.

12. Do you think you’re a strong person?

Fuck yes. I also think I’m independent. FIGHT ME.

13. What is your favourite ice cream?

Haagen Daz Trio with vanilla and salted caramel.  

14. What is the first thing you notice about people?

Hair. Or their feet, but I hate feet so I mainly judge people’s feet.

15. What is your least favourite physical thing you like about yourself?

Everything below my neck.

16. What colour pants and shoes are you wearing now?

Fuzzy gray sweat pants.

17. What are you listening to right now?

Pewdiepie playing the new Rick and Morty game. 

18. If you were a crayon, what colour would you be?

Black, it’s my favorite color. 

19. Favourite smell?

Mint and eucalyptus

20. Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone?

My best friend she was checking in on me. 

21. Favourite sport to watch?

Is drag a sport? Because that one. 

22. Hair colour?

Black

23. Eye colour?

Brown

24. Do you wear contacts?

No

25. Favourite food to eat?

Pizzzzzzza.

26. Scary movies or comedy?

BITCH, fuck me up with a horror movie. It’s my favorite fucking genre. 

27. Last movie you watched?

What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?

28. What colour shirt are you wearing?

White shirt with the top kind cut off it like hangs off my shoulders, idk if the description makes sense but yeah that. 

29. Summer or winter?

Winter, but I get seasonal depression so I can I say Autumn? 

30. Hugs or kisses?

Kisses

31. What book are you currently reading?

None, sadly. I’m waiting for the semester to end to read Crooked Kingdom, BUT I AM SO FUCKING CLOSE. 

32.What do you miss right now?

Not having this pain in my abdomen. Lol. 

33. What is on your mouse pad?

A doodle my best friend did of my cat. 

34. What is the last tv program you watched?

Rupaul’s Drag Race, Queens always make me feel better. 

35. What is the best sound?

The sound of the waves crashing onto the sand.

36. Rolling stones or the Beatles?

The Beatles

37. What is the furthest you’ve ever travelled?

Washington, D.C 

38. Do you have a special talent?

Yes, I sing. I am an alto, so I’m okay at it. Lol. 

39. Where were you born?

Orlando, Florida

[ravy-nevermore-archive]

Vincent and Cerberus in DoC

So while poring meticulously over screen caps with @exsiliumductoris​, I just noticed something interesting about Vincent and Cerberus in DoC. Namely, when he is armed with it and when he is not.

Well first of all, the first thing I noticed is that in CGI animation they have the holstered Cerberus facing grip outward or grip forward, and on the gameplay model and cutscenes featuring it, they have the grip facing backward (as it should be on a thigh holster on the same side of his body as the hand he shoots it with).

^ Puppies facing down/toward the back of his body (the dog heads are the sights on the top of his gun, so the grip would be facing in the opposite direction)

^ puppies facing upward/toward the front of his body (meaning the grip is facing back)

^ and in this scene the grip is just straight up perpendicular to his body, flapping all around (though maybe it’s meant to be pointing forward and is literally just flapping too much because he’s running)

Now considering the shenanigans going on with Zack and Buster Sword in CC (i.e., he holds it facing one way in cutscenes and another in battle—yep, go check it out!), this isn’t entirely surprising, because why on earth would separate departments of Squeenix’s modeling and animation teams actually communicate with each other about details??

What IS interesting, though, is that while hunting for more inconsistencies like this, I noticed there are some times when Vincent is NOT wearing his holster/gun at all:

Every time he visits Lucrecia’s cave, whether he’s dreaming it or not.

The opening scene when he’s lounging on his hotel bed in Kalm.

At first I noticed the scene in Kalm and thought this was a continuity error, because as we know he is very suddenly disrupted by Kalm coming under attack immediately after this and jumps out his window shooting at things. But actually, there’s about a minute or so during which we’re shown Deepground attacking Kalm and not Vincent, and when we return to Vincent again he’s crouching in the window and holding his gun.

So here he is definitely without his gun at 07:19 (and by the way we know his cellphone is sitting on the table nearby from an establishing shot immediately preceding this)

One second later, he hears the missiles and turns his head.

And here’s the next time we see him, at 08:04, holding his gun. (We also know he has collected his phone from the table, because he jumps out the window then uses it later without ever returning to the hotel room, which is destroyed seconds after this shot.)

So, idk, there’s just a neat little tidbit in which we can presume that Vincent spent the 45 seconds in between hearing the missiles incoming and actually taking action going “oh shit where’s my gun, where’s my phone, where’s my keys, DID I TURN OFF THE TV??”

Also, did he like get in, go “ugh I can’t wait to take this damn holster off but I’m gonna leave my shoes on and chill” or what? (We briefly speculated that maybe his entire body is a prosthetic and Vincent is in fact just a head and this is why he’s always fully dressed at all times. >.> )

But okay, onto the actual possibly meaningful observation here:

^ This is from the opening animation, which is either a dream or a memory. Maybe he was actually physically at the cave at some point and is reflecting back on that time while sitting on the bed, or maybe he’s just totally only there in his head. (I have thoughts about both possibilities but I’ll leave it out of this post for current irrelevance.) He’s not wearing his gun or holster.

^ This is from the next time that he imagines being in Lucrecia’s cave, after he transforms into Chaos in Edge, chases Rosso away, passes out, and Shalua collects him and brings him to the WRO. In reality, his body is currently unconscious in Shalua’s lab, but in his head this is where he is and he’s unarmed.

^ This is where he currently is in reality, and it’s easier to tell when seeing this animated but Shalua left his gun and holster on him when she put him in there.

^ So here’s the next time that we see him dreaming of being in Lu’s cave. It’s hard to tell because of the soft lighting effects and blur but I’m pretty sure he’s still without his holster. This is after Rosso takes the Protomateria from his chest and Yuffie saves him (Vincent gets rescued by women a lot, I love it), so right now his body is in the Shadowfox van and Yuffie left him armed as well:

The next time we see him taking a spirit trip to Lu’s cave is when her data fragments crash into him when Shelke brings him the Protomateria. This one’s interesting:

Holster, but no gun! He’s literally wearing his empty holster, in his head. (Why??) This is the only time we ever see him with an empty holster when he’s not holding his gun in his hand, I think. (Idk, maybe they just goofed? I mean the way his hand is there looks like maybe they just used his “Vincent is currently holding his gun in his hand” model and just took the gun out and really didn’t bother adjusting his hand joints at all, which probably don’t have articulated fingers anyway.)

This is what Vincent’s doing currently in the real world:

Which, granted, doesn’t use a holster anyway, as Chaos!Vincent prefers to just materialize Death Penalty out of thin air:

And the next and last time that we see Vincent visit Lu’s cave is arguably the only time we actually seeing him do so in reality and not just in his head, and it’s at the end of the game, after the credits roll. There’s no good angle of his right hip/thigh while he’s actually inside the cave except maybe this one:

But if we are to assume continuity then this shot of him outside the cave with Shelke seconds later tells us he is not wearing his holster:

So, this one is particularly interesting because he actually went there physically in person and is unarmed, and idk but that just seems like a strange choice for Vincent Valentine. We know that this cave is in a remote location deep in the mountains, so did he travel there unarmed? If so, where did he leave his gun and why would he make that journey without his weapon?

Did he take it with him but he purposely takes it off when he goes inside the cave? Why? Does he leave it outside in some kind of show of respect or squeamishness about Lucrecia “seeing” him armed?

Or does he take it into the cave with him and then take it off for comfort purposes, like he seems to have done while lounging on his hotel bed in Kalm? Like, “Well I’m going to be here for a while and I’m not ‘on’ at the moment so I might as well make myself comfortable”?

Did he lose Cerberus when he lost Chaos? Why? And why his holster with it? (For the record, I’m leaning toward “no” on this one, but I suppose there’s no proof against it.)

Now, I didn’t scour every second of ACC and DoC, but I did scrub through both movies a bit and look for other scenes in which it might make particular sense for him to be unarmed, but I didn’t find any. This tells me two things:

This was done on purpose. Like, they didn’t just forget to add his gun in to these scenes. They made a conscious decision to leave it out.

This was purposely linked to Vincent specifically being in Lucrecia’s cave and his room in Kalm and apparently not anywhere else.

And keep in mind that they couldn’t even bother to give Hojo a second model in which he’s young or a Lucrecia a third model in which she’s pregnant but for some reason they went out of their way to give Vincent a “no gun or holster” model (and even a “holster but no gun” model) exclusively for use in scenes in which he is sitting in Lucrecia’s cave.

So that’s today’s Analysis By Ravy and I’d love to hear any thoughts anyone else might have on this curious but seemingly purposeful bit of Vincent behavior, or if anyone else can spot other scenes in which he’s unarmed and not a Turk or transformed.