#shawn mendes x fem reader

[marie-swriting]

The Memories Of Our Relationship - Shawn Mendes

Masterlist

Superache Masterlist

Summary : You finally start moving on from your relationship with Shawn, but he decided to come at your place in the middle of the night.

Warnings : angst, sad ending, Shawn is drunk, maybe some grammatical mistakes as English is not my first language, tell me if you see some or if I missed any warnings.

Word Count : 1.7k

French version on Wattpad

French version on Tumblr

Song inspiration : Memories by Conan Gray

The sound of your doorbell drags you out of bed. You blink your eyes quickly before rubbing them and looking at the time on your phone. You’re wondering who could be at your place at two in the morning. You sigh, annoyed before getting out of your room and walking to the door. You look through the peephole and see Shawn, a sad expression on his face and his hair wet from the rain. You hadn’t seen each other for the past two months, since your breakup. You have no idea why he’s here. You hesitate before opening to him, concerned you’re making a mistake. After debating with yourself mentally, you decide to give him a chance. After all, he wouldn’t be here if he didn’t have a good reason. As soon as you open the door, Shawn stumbles into your apartment. You roll your eyes and close behind him, already reconsidering your decision.

“What are you doing here ?” You ask him while he stays in the middle of your living room.

“I want to talk to you.” He announces before taking his wet coat off and putting it on the coat rack.

“It’s two AM, Shawn.”

“I know but I need to.” Shawn insists and you realise his voice is a bit different.

“Are you drunk ?”

“No, I just drank one glass.” He denies, but you know him.

“Look, just say what you wanna tell me quickly, I have to wake up tomorrow. I mean, in five hours.”

“I… I want us to get back together.”

When you hear his sentence, the fatigue officially leaves your body. You raise your eyebrows and you hope you misheard. You rub your temples, closing your eyes for a second. When you open them again, you can see the seriousness on his face.

“You’re the one who wanted to break up.” You retort before playing with your butterfly pendant hanging down your neck.

“I know, and I regret it.”

“It’s a bit too late now.”

He doesn’t listen to you and starts walking in your living room, looking around. His eyes are full of nostalgia while he reminisces about your relationship. You look at him from afar, not knowing what to do. His inebriated state doesn’t help you to make him aware of the situation. At one point, he stops and takes an object on your living room table. Even if you don’t see it, you know what he took. You trot toward him and remove the book from his hands.

“You still have our photo album ?” He asks with a stupid smile on his face. “I thought you’d have thrown it away by now.”

“Tonight is the first time I looked at it since our breakup, actually.”

“So you admit it, you miss what we had as well.”

“I never said that.” You affirm gripping on the book a bit harder.

“So why did you take it out after all this time ?”

“I don’t really know. I… I suppose I wanted to see if I could look at the pictures without breaking down.”, you explain and before he can smile, you quickly add, “which I can.”

Shawn doesn’t say anything, not convinced by your answer. He starts strolling around again before going to your kitchen. He pours himself a glass of water. He drinks it in one gulp, then he puts it in the dishwasher. You join him again, more and more annoyed by his behaviour. You wish he’d finally leave you alone, especially because you need to rest. You cross your arms over your chest before taking a determined tone.

“Why are you here, Shawn ?”

“I told you, I want us to get back together. I shouldn’t have let you go. I was an idiot.”

“You wanted it because of the distance and your job it was too complicated.”

“But you, you didn’t want it.” He retorts and you look away for a second. “You wanted to find a solution to make things work. And I was so sure I was right I didn’t listen to your arguments, like a moron. I should have. I don’t want to lose you. Without you, I’m nothing. Please, let me fix my stupid mistake.” He begs, trying to take your hand.

“Shawn, stop it.”, your order as you take a step back, “I’m finally moving on, I don’t need to hear you say that.”

“But deep down, you still love me.”

“Of course.”, you state as if it was obvious, “You’ll always have a special place in my heart, but it doesn’t mean we should be together again.”

“Why not ?”

“Love is not always enough. It didn’t work once, a second time wouldn’t be any better. Trust me, I haven’t stopped thinking about it for the last two months. I’ve imagined every scenario and there’s no happy ending for us. If you hadn’t broken up with me, we would have done it later. We were already falling out of love so our relationship was going to have an end, at some point.”

“We could stay friends ? I still want to be a part of your life.” He proposes with an ounce of hope and you’re trying not to give in.

“We can’t. It wouldn’t be a good thing, because we’d prevent each other from moving on with someone else. It’s better if we don’t talk anymore.” You tell him, your hands playing with your necklace.

“Y/N, please.”

“Oh my God, listen to me for once in your life !”, you lose your temper running your hand on your face, “I don’t want to. I was fine with the memories of our relationship. Of course when you left me, I was devastated and mad at you. I even thought I’d always have memories of you where I’d hate you, but then I realised you were right from the beginning. I have good memories of you, of us and you’re currently ruining everything. So stop it. You were perfect when you were just in my memories. I didn’t need to see you tonight, especially if you were gonna say that. I’ll always have affection for you, but it is over.”

Shawn simply nods with teary eyes while you breath heavily. You know you just broke his heart, but you need to protect yours. You had to be straight with him. You don’t like being the cause of his pain, but you don’t have any other choice. He doesn’t answer you, understanding it’s a lost cause. He leaves the room while you’re getting a grip on yourself. You breathe many times before finding back Shawn in your living room, asleep on your couch. Frustrated, you sigh, but decide to not wake him up. His drunkenness won’t allow you to make him get out of your house easily anyway and you don’t want him to drive and be the reason for an accident. 

You leave him a glass of water and some medicine before taking a blanket. As you put it on him, Shawn opens his eyes for a moment. He looks at you as you’re leaning in above him and his eyes find your necklace, making him smile foolishly.

“You’re still wearing it.”

You don’t have the time to open your mouth because he falls back asleep right away. You look at him one last time and go back to your bedroom. You roll over in your bed for a bit as you think back at your discussion with Shawn. You wipe some tears on your cheek before finally being able to fall back asleep.

When your alarm goes off three hours later, you’re mad at Shawn for cutting your sleep short. You struggle to get out of bed, but you force yourself to get dressed for work. When you’re ready, you go to your living room after taking a box that has been lying in your closet around the past two months. You put it next to the couch and shake Shawn. He needs a minute to surface. When he sees you, he can’t help but have a smile on his face. For him, he’s back to the beginning of your relationship, where everything was well, where you were happy together. But your neutral expression brings him back to reality. He sits down before taking the glass of water and the medicine he just saw. When he’s done, he stands up in front of you. You point at the box before speaking.

“These are your stuff. I think there is a coat, books and CDs. I wasn’t able to give them back to you before”, you inform and he stays silent, “you can take them back.” You insist.

“You weren’t joking when you were saying you wanted our relationship to stay only memories.” Shawn says laughing to hide his pain.

“If I want to move on, I don’t have any other choice. Oh, there’s that, too.” You say, removing your necklace.

“No, Y/N, you can keep it. It belongs to you and you only.”

“I know, but I feel like as long as I’ll have it, I won’t be able to grieve our love story and I don’t want to throw it away, so take it.” You clarify, handing the jewel.

“If it’s what you want.” He murmurs, taking it.

Shawn looks at the necklace, admiring the silver butterfly. Your attempt at your first kiss had been interrupted by the appearance of the insect with beautiful blue wings. You had laughed before being able to finally kiss. The butterfly had quickly become your symbol. You love this necklace. You always touch it whenever you’re feeling a negative emotion. But you can’t keep wearing it.

Shawn puts it in the box carefully. He takes the box before walking to the door. You open it for him and he starts leaving, his head down. You’re about to close the door when he turns around one last time.

“I’m sorry about last night. I shouldn’t have come. You’re right.”, he admits before taking a deep breath, “You’ll also always have a special place in my heart. I love you.”

You wish you could say it back, but the words stay stuck in your throat because it’s not the thing to say. Deep down, you know it. So you smile at him sadly before  closing the door symbolising the end of the chapter of the story with Shawn.

Masterlist

Superache Masterlist

{This is my side blog so I'll be answering comments under the username @marie-sworld}

[luvmyoui]

six - out

previous masterlist next

gp!myoui mina x fem!reader

warnings: cursing

word count: 1,732

a/n: GUYS IM SORRY, I MEANT TO POST THIS EARLIER BUT I LOST TRACK OF TIME PLS FORGIVE ME😞😞

the constant buzzing of your phone roused you from your slumber, you tried to ignore it but the buzzing hadn’t gone away like it usually would. with a huff you sat up and received the call without checking the caller. 

“what?!” you said annoyance clear in your tone.

“check twitter, right now!” camila’s stressed out voice exclaimed from the other end of the phone. 

“okay, okay, gosh what terrible thing happen-” you fell silent when the twitter app loaded on and displayed a linked article stating a question along with a picture. 

SIXTH HARMONY’S Y/N L/N HAS A DAUGHTER? 

the article went on to explain how an anonymous source had sent a picture of the ‘happy birthday isla’ banner that hung behind you, you were squatted on the floor with isla’s cheek squished into yours. seeing the picture you immediately recognized it as one that was definitely taken the day before. you could only curse yourself for letting that man help bring that package into your home and forgetting to close the door. apparently there had been paparazzi waiting outside of your house and took pictures of the decorations while your door was open. 

“y/n? you good?” camila's worried voice pulled you out of your regretful thoughts. 

“y-yeah, just shocked. the thought of this happening never even crossed my mind.” you said, still in disbelief that this could’ve happened. 

“look at the comments though, we can go along with them and lie.” hearing this, with curiosity you scrolled down to see the replies to the tweet. 

REPLIES: 

sixtharmony4ever: why can't you people just mind your own business omg, leave my girls alone!!!

camilasolostan: wtf??? was y/n a teen mom?! iloveyn: so what if she was, its her life not yours.

laurenmll: why are you idiots acting like she can't have nieces😭😭 user872349: are you stupid, she doesn't have any siblings💀💀 laurenmll: are you? you're acting like she cant have any cousins☠️ laursss: girl lets be real, thats 100% y/ns kid camziezz: literally, cuzns arent twins💀💀

sixthharmonizerrr: these paparazzis seriously need to get a life and let celebs live theirs.

twice4lifee: guys why does that baby look exactly like mina😰😰minaluvzme: IM SAYINN once4ever: NEW SHIP???

minariii: *image attached* cannot tell me they are not the same person, literally give that kid a haircut and its mina.

lovey/nnn: why does the baby look like that one girl from that kpop group?!

harmonizeronce: does mina have a secret brother? twcmina: she literally said in multiple interviews she was an only child. harmonizeronce: thats why i said secret smartass.

seeing people defending you brought a smile to your face, you loved your fans. though you couldn't help the anxiety creep up your spine, what if they found out about mina. rather than worrying for yourself, you worried for mina, it might break her career if it's found out that she has a kid. you knew that the kpop industry was much less forgiving when it came to things like this. feeling another buzz in your hand caused you to look at the incoming call from your manager larry. 

“mila, larry’s calling so i’ll hang up now okay?” hearing a ‘kay’ from camila you hung up and accepted the call from your manager. 

“deny having a kid, say it was your cousins or something and that you hang out with her kid alot. I honestly don't care what you say, just make sure no one knows that it's your kid.” he said as soon as you had accepted the call

“and if i don't want to?” 

“that’s not an option.” he stated. 

“I'm not going to deny my kid, can I just stay quiet? i won't ever deny that isla’s my daughter, i'm not and never will be ashamed of her. sure i had her young but i don't regret it at all.” you responded with finality in your voice. maybe this was a stupid decision, but one parent had already left isla and you refused to disown her by saying she wasn't yours.  

letting out a sigh, knowing nothing he said would change your decision, your manager let out a fine and hung up the call. you let yourself fall back into your bed and just laid there hands and legs sprawled out. hearing the creak of your door opening made you lift your head a bit to see isla standing there. she ran over to your bed, when she reached it she proceeded to lift one of her legs up trying to get onto the bed. you smiled down at how cute she looked, stopping her struggles, you sat up and pulled her onto the bed next to you. with her small hands she pushed you down onto your back and jumped onto you, cuddling her face into your neck. 

“when will i get to see mommy, i only see hew in pictuws.” isla said into your neck, she was very clearly distressed, and you could only think of the day before when she had questioned mina’s want to even see her. 

you honestly didn't even think mina wanted to see her, sure she sent gifts but you doubt she’d want to see isla. she always thought of the child as a burden, as something that you were supposed to care for. the thought brought a frown to your face, you wished for mina to see isla and acknowledge her as a daughter. 

chaos had ensued in the twice dorms, although mina only shared a dorm with nayeon, all the girls were currently at the dorms. as soon as they had seen the tweet they rushed over, hoping that it wasn't as they thought. 

“so what, you just left her alone with a kid?!” jeongyeon exclaimed, clearly upset at the mere idea. 

“uh- well it wasn't like that, i wanted to pursue my dream and she was holding me back. also i send them money and gifts and pay for the apartment, i’m fulfilling my role as a parent.” hearing this, all of the girls continued their attack, throwing objects at mina. she tried to dodge but there were too many coming and too fast. 

“god i knew you were a douche judging by the amount of girls you bring home, but this is just unbelievable.” momo said, followed by a shoe being thrown at mina’s head. 

“you guys are unbelievable, i'm your member, not her. plus, are you forgetting the part where i literally send gifts, money, and pay the bills?! also she didn't want me to follow my dream!” mina exclaimed, why couldn't they understand her side?

“yeah, and are you forgetting the part where you got her pregnant. whatever she says doesn't matter, as the person who got her pregnant you should have taken responsibility.” jihyo voiced out, clearly annoyed by her excuses.

“I do take responsibility! how many times do i need to say that i give them money, i spoil them incredibly!” mina cried out in exasperation, how many times did she have to say it for them to understand?

the yelling and throwing of things was stopped the moment the door to the dorm opened, their manager walking in. “mina, there better be a good explanation for this.” their manager said, glaring at mina. 

“uhm- there really isn't one, it’s exactly how it seems.” 

“how do you even know y/n?!” their manager exclaimed, not being able to wrap her mind around this situation.

“we uh- we were high school sweethearts, we dated throughout almost the entirety of highschool.”

“what?!” everyone exclaimed, not knowing that they were in that serious of a relationship. 

“wait, so do you know any other celebrities?” chaeyoung asked in disbelief, she had been a fan of the group's music for a while and couldn't believe mina knew them.

“uh- yeah, shawn mendes, he was my best friend since middle school and camila, but she was y/n’s best friend. and i mean camila never really liked me.” 

“you knew shawn mendes?!” chaeyoung exclaimed, being best friends with shawn mendes was insane to her. 

“yeah, i still talk to him from time to time too.” mina said, scratching the back of her head as she explained. 

“mina, i hope you know that we will be going to the US for the billboard women in music awards. and sixth harmony will for sure be there.” their manager said to mina.

“what!?” mina exclaimed, the thought that she might run into you again was now starting to eat away at her. she didn't want to see you, but at the same time she wanted so desperately to. 

“oh yeah, i was gonna tell you.” jihyo said, everyone surprised that mina didn't know. 

everyone had left by now, and it was only mina, nayeon, and the two beer bottles on the coffee table in front of them. mina usually didn't drink, her intolerance for alcoholic drinks being the reason, but after today she just needed a drink. 

“what do you think? do you agree with everyone else, you think i'm an asshole?” mina asked, not offended but wanting a genuine answer.

“I mean what you did was very assholey, but i mean it’s never too late to change you know? i mean i’ve lived with you for like how long? three, four years? and i mean i think i know you best, and i can say with confidence you’ve had at least a little character development.” nayeon said, taking a swig of her beer. 

“but what do i do? I feel like what me and y/n had is broken by now. I don't think she’d even want me to meet isla.” mina said, she would never dare say her true thoughts. and i mean, could you blame her? 

all she knew about this kid was that she was 3 years old and that it was hers. she didn't even know what isla looked like until she saw the picture on twitter. she felt terrible for even thinking it, but she didn't really care all that much for this kid. you on the other hand, she had known you for a long time, she loved you, she had a kid with you. she didn't regret pursuing her dream but she wished it didn’t include losing you. 

“just talk to her, when we meet her. try to just talk it all out.” 

taglist: @moon-ellie @lisas-earlobe @cocojy @second-daughter-of-clexa @runassimp@eliii1sblog @yvsvrn send an ask if you want to be added to the taglist!

[harrywavycurly]

I’m sad WWS is over I need to hear Harry’s convo with Shawn like the whole thing Sarah please I know he was mean🤤🙃🫠

Hiii lovey!! I’m sad it’s over as well but you can always come into my inbox and check in on them and see how they’re doing! I will happily give you Harry’s phone call with Shawn😂💖

-find all things Where We Started here✨

A/N: Harry has to let Shawn know to leave you alone but poor Shawn doesn’t even know what he’s talking about, enjoy Harry being mean but not too mean ✨

“Hello?” “Hello Shawn…” “Uh…hey…Harry what’s…up?” “I’m going to get right down to it…I know you and I have some mutual friends one of them being Niall and the other being my….my bestfriend.” “Yeah…yeah we have some friends in common-” “I know she asked you about a marriage pact when you’re fifty and if you’re both single you two will get married and-” “a marriage pact? I wasn’t asked to marry her-” “Don’t interrupt Shawn it’s rude…now just know you won’t be marrying her when you’re fifty or really at any age because if you so much as try to even date her…well you’ll have to deal with me and I know I’m all about treating people with kindness but for you I’ll make an exception…so if I were you..I wouldn’t even flirt with her a little too hard around me and before you try to say you don’t flirt with her please don’t try to take me for an idiot because I’ve seen you two together…so just maybe stick to being her friend and you’ll be fine…understand?” “Uh…I think…I think so yeah?…but Harry I really don’t have a marriage pact or anything with her…and as for the flirting I mean…we’re just friendly that’s it.” “God I really can’t stand you…I just said don’t try to deny it didn’t I? And here you are denying it? I get it…I understand why you flirt with her she’s easy to be flirty and fun with…but just know it ends now okay? No more…because I don’t want to make her upset and if I see you flirting or trying to get closer to her than a normal friendship…well I’ll do something that will very much make her upset.” “Like what?…Harry are you threatening me?” “No…not at all why would I have to threaten you?” “Because you think I’m going to make a move on your bestfriend?” “Well tell me Shawn…are you going to make a move on her?” “No.” “Then no…I’m not threatening you…but this was a lovely chat…hope we don’t have to have another one.” “Yeah…great talking to you Harry…same…hope you don’t have to call me like this again.” “That’ll be up to you now won’t it?…but bye Shawn see you at Niall’s little party next month.” “Bye Harry…”

[lnfours]

summer loving (four) ⎸ t.h

⌙ summary: your mom and tom’s mom grew up together, swearing that their kids would be life long friends. and it was true, the holland boys were a special part of your life. but on the annual trip to their beach house this summer, everything feels different. and that’s because it is.

⌙ au:  based on the book and tv show ‘the summer i turned pretty’ by jenny han. childhood friends to lovers

⌙ wc: 3k

⌙ warnings: swearing, some angst, fluffy as hell towards the end, some light drinking (nothing crazy), SHAWN BEING THE BEST BF EVER!!!!!!! but also tom being jealous AF, oh and shirtless tom, poor baby sam swooning but having no balls to say anything :(

⌙ pairing: tom holland x fem!reader with a lil bit of shawn mendes x fem!reader 

masterlist ⎸ chapter three ⎸ chapter five ⎸ listen

                                ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

tom was losing his absolute mind. 

sure, it was no secret that tom was in love with you. anyone with eyes and brain cells would be able to tell just by spending 2 minutes in a room with the two of you.

however, he felt as though he wasn’t good enough. like there was someone who would be way better for you. someone who could be your knight in shining armor, show you their vulnerable side, be everything you desperately wanted tom to be.

so, when he found out that you had went to shawn’s gig, part of him was relieved that you had moved on from his chaos, the way he pulled you in one minute and the next he was pushing you away in fear of letting someone get close to him again. but, he couldn’t deny that part of him ached, part of him broke at the sight of shawn walking you to the front door. 

and what really sealed the deal was when you leaned in with a smile on your face as you kissed shawn on the lips. 

that’s when he knew for sure that he was just a thought all the way in the back of your head. 

the next morning, everyone sat in the kitchen while eating breakfast, making small talk. everyone mostly asking about how your date went, which caused a the heat to creep onto your cheeks. however, it made his blood boil at the fact that shawn was everything you wanted. everything you tom wanted to be for you, but couldn’t. 

“it was good,” you smiled, poking at the eggs on your plate that sam had made for you, “he’s really sweet. i think you guys would like him.”

“we should have him for dinner tonight,” nikki smiled, “i know the mendes family pretty well, all of them are lovely.”

“yeah, sounds like a great idea.” your mom agreed.

“meeting the guy that my sister made out with on the front porch, no thanks.” austin joked, causing everyone to roll their eyes.

“gonna have to agree with austin on that one,” harry joked, “they’re gonna make kissy-faces at each other the whole time.”

you flung a piece of pancake at the boy, hitting him right in the center of his forehead. paddy giggled next to you, giving you a high five, “nice aim!”

“listen, let’s just give him a shot, yeah?” sam said, “if he makes y/n happy, then it’s worth meeting him.”

tom hadn’t said a word, eyes suddenly interested in his plate. your eyes fell onto his figure, your lips meeting the edge of the mug, speaking before taking a sip of coffee. 

“what do you think, tom?”

you watched as he looked up at you, his normally warm, brown eyes suddenly cold. you raised an eyebrow as you watched him put down his fork.

“doesn’t matter to me.” he shrugged, getting up from the table as he cleared his plate. you turned to look at him.

“maybe alicia can come too, might as well make it a whole thing.” you said, smirking into your mug as he gave you ‘shut the fuck up’ look. 

“who’s alicia?” nikki asked, turning to the oldest boy.

“no one.”

“mhm, she’s no one alright.” harry chuckled.

“wait, alicia garnett?” your brother asked.

“since when?” it was paddy’s turn to look confused.

“you know she’s kind of a whore, right?” 

tom rolled his eyes at your brothers words, you turning around and smacking him in the forehead, “ow!”

“you’re an ass.”

“it’s true!”

“well, you don’t have to call her a whore.”

“i mean, she’s slept with half the town.”

you rolled your eyes, letting nikki take the floor, “if you’d like to invite her, you can. i’d like to meet her, you know.”

“me too,” your mom smiled, “and who’s to say she isn’t what everyone thinks she is.”

she eyed your brother and he raised his hands in fake surrender, “i’m just telling you what i’ve heard.”

“yeah, well, we don’t need to hear about it.” you mumbled.

tom nodded, sighing, “alright, alright, i’ll see if she wants to come.”

you cleared your plate, putting the dishes in the sink before making your way upstairs. you squeaked as someone grabbed your arm, pulling you into a bedroom before the door shut behind you. 

“are you proud of yourself or something?” it was tom’s voice.

you crossed your arms, “why would it matter if she’s more than just a fuck buddy to you?”

he groaned, “because… i don’t know how i feel about her yet.”

“guess you better figure it out.” you shrugged, going to reach for the door handle but tom stepped in front of you,

“can i go? i have to make sure kat can come in this weekend.”

“not until you talk to me about what’s going on.”

you scoffed, rolling your eyes in complete annoyance, “nothing’s going on, tom.”

“you sure?”

you huffed, “look, you’re the one who tried to kiss me on the beach just to move on the next day. i’m sorry, but whatever kind of emotional rollercoaster this is,” you motioned back and forth between the two of you, “i don’t want it. i’ve got a guy who’s sweet, treats me like a fucking princess, and is actually clear with what he wants, which is me. if you can’t accept the fact that i moved on from you and your bullshit, that sounds like a personal issue.”

he stared at you blankly as you pushed past him, reaching for the door, “until then, worry about your own relationship and i’ll worry about mine.”

he flinched as his door slammed shut behind him, making him groan as he plopped down onto the bed. he knew you were right, you had every reason in the book to hate him right now. he knew he played with your emotions, he knew that he fucked up big time, but he didn’t know how to make it right. he didn’t know how to get you back. 

your phone buzzed as you got a text from kat.

kat any updates? 

y/n nothing much other than tom’s an asshole and i think i really like shawn

kat good. if tom can’t get his priorities straight and realize that it’s been you this entire time, then you shouldn’t have to wait around for him.  also shawn’s a cutie, who wouldn’t like him 😉

you looked up as there was a soft knock on your door, meeting sam’s eyes as he softly smiled, “up for the beach?”

you nodded, “yeah, just give me a second.”

he nodded back at you, walking out of the door and leaving it cracked open the tiniest bit. 

y/n you’re right.  i’ll check in with you later after shawn comes for dinner, gonna go catch some waves with sam. 

kat sam 😏 ya know, i’ve always been team sam

y/n 🙄 goodbye, katarina <3

kat goodbye y/n 🥰

you locked your phone and threw it down on the bed before picking out a bathing suit. you grabbed a bathing suit from your bag, throwing on a big t-shirt overtop. you met sam downstairs, the two of you heading out to the beach. 

you two talked amongst yourselves, giggling and having a good time. sam always knew how to get your mind off of things.

“you excited for everyone to meet shawn?” he asked and you shrugged. 

“i don’t know,” you bit down on your bottom lip, “i just don’t know how tom’s going to react.”

“yeah, didn’t seem too happy about it earlier.”

you nodded, “i know.”

“which, sounds like his problem.”

you shot him a confused look, an eyebrow raised, “not that i don’t disagree, but what do you mean?”

“please, it’s not like we all don’t know he’s had a thing for you for years,” he laughed, “plus, mom did say that you were destined for one of us, minus paddy.”

you smiled, remembering when nikki told you that, “yeah, well, i guess destiny isn’t mine and tom’s thing.”

he chuckled again, “doesn’t really seem like it, huh?”

“whatever, it’s his loss,” you shrugged, “if he can’t tell me what he wants then why should i wait around for him to tell me? i deserve better than that.”

he nodded, “you deserve the best.”

you smiled, “thanks, sam.”

he nodded, looking towards the house as the sun shone down on you. your hair was falling perfectly around your face, your eyes glistening in the sunlight. the way the water droplets fell from your skin was mesmerizing. 

he was in awe. 

“i guess i should head back soon, i gotta get ready for dinner and make sure shawn’s still coming.”

he nodded, “yeah, sure thing. i’ll probably be out here for a little while longer and then head in.”

you smiled before paddling to shore on your board, “see you back at the house!”

you made your way inside, running up the steps. you gathered your things to take a shower, walking into the hallway only to bump into someone who was shirtless and dripping wet. 

your cheeks burned as you realized it was tom. 

“sorry,” he apologized, moving around you, “didn’t mean to bump into you.”

you couldn’t help it, your eyes followed the way his abs dipped and curved, the way the towel sat lowly on his hips, his dripping wet curls hanging over his forehead. he smirked as your eyes traveled his body, watching you contently. 

“just watch where you’re going next time.” your voice was laced with sarcasm. 

“watch where your eyes wander next time.”

you rolled your eyes, refusing to let him believe that you were still somewhat into him. yeah, shawn was great and everything you wanted, but tom was always going to be in the back of your mind. like an annoying, nagging feeling that won’t leave you alone no matter how hard you try. 

after your shower, you made your way back to your room. you decided to facetime shawn, just to make sure he was still able to come tonight. 

he picked up after a few rings, smiling into the camera as he laid in bed, “hey,”

“hi,” you smiled back, “sorry if i interrupted anything.”

he shook his head, rustling coming from his side of the call as he situated himself to sit up, “‘s okay, everything alright?” 

you nodded, “just wanted to make sure you were still coming tonight.”

“of course, wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

you smiled, a blush forming on your cheeks, “nikki wants to know if you like seafood.”

he nodded, “not my favorite, but i’ll eat it,” he smiled, “i’m sure anything she cooks is good.”

you laughed, “it is, actually.”

“sounds great,” he ran his fingers through his hair, “should i bring anything?”

“just yourself.” you smiled.

“okay, i’ll bring a bottle of rosé.”

you smiled, “if you insist.”

“i do, i refuse to come empty handed, my mom taught me better than that,” he smiled back at you, “also, what’s nikki and your moms favorite flowers?”

you scrunched your nose, thinking about it, “for nikki it’s probably daisies and my mom is simple, she likes white roses.”

he nodded, “alright, i got a few stops to make in town and then i’ll be over.”

you watched as he slipped a shirt over his head, his keys jingling in the microphone shortly after, “take your time.”

“well, i don’t want to keep you waiting.”

you smiled, “i don’t mind.”

he smirked down into the camera, “i’ll remember this.”

you laughed, “drive safe, i’ll see you soon.”

“see you soon, beautiful.”

you smiled before ending the call, squealing quietly to yourself before quickly clicking onto kat’s contact. she picked up almost right away.

“long time no see,” she smiled, “what’s up?”

“it’s confirmed,” you smiled, “i really like shawn.”

                               ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

the doorbell rang as you ran down the steps, “i’ll get it!”

you opened the door and smiled as shawn held up three bouquets of flowers and a bottle of rosé. you smiled, taking the bottle from him to help him carry things inside, “what’s all this?”

“a good first impression,” he smiled, kissing your cheek softly, “these are for your mom and nikki.”

you smiled, your heart beating quickly as you closed the door behind him, “you’re so sweet. c’mon, i’ll introduce you.”

he followed you into the kitchen where nikki, your mom, austin, paddy and harry were sitting. everyone was quick to say hello, shawn shaking hands with the boys and offering the flowers to the moms. they both smiled and accepted them, also mentioning how it was a sweet gesture. you left the boys to talk as you followed your mom and nikki into the kitchen to open the bottle of wine. 

“he’s handsome,” your mom smirked, rubbing her shoulder against yours, giggling, “and respectful.”

“he’s great, y/n. a 10 in my book.”

you laughed at both of the women in front of you, shaking your head as you grabbed two wine glasses, “you two are insufferable.”

“c’mon! if i were you, i'd be all over that.” your mom laughed and you scrunched your nose, letting out a chuckle as you shook your head. 

“gross, don’t ever say that again,” you laughed with the other two, walking back into the dining room with the two wine glasses. you handed one to shawn, him smiling and thanking you as you sat down in the chair next to him. 

“so, you’ve played guitar your whole life?” harry asked. shawn nodded. 

“yeah, pretty much,” he smiled, “i learned from watching youtube videos on how to play ed sheeran songs.”

“i wish i was good at playing an instrument,” paddy sighed, “i tried piano, but i wasn’t good so i gave up.”

“that’s what practice is for,” shawn said, pulling the glass away from his lips, “if you want, i could teach you how to play, show you a few pointers.”

“really?” paddy’s face lit up, “that’s awesome! thanks, mate.”

shawn nodded and smiled back. you smiled at him as he made eye contact. 

“so, is the infamous katarina coming next weekend?” he asked. 

“yeah, she is,” you smiled, “and she’s really excited to meet you.”

he widened his eyes a little, “guess i gotta make a really good impression.”

“shouldn’t be too hard.” you smiled, biting down on your bottom lip to try to contain it. 

“i don’t know, seems like a big deal.”

“please, if you can make it through this dinner, you should be able to handle kat.”

you heard sam as he entered the room, “that’s a lie, kat is like a hurricane. she’s kinda crazy.”

you rolled your eyes playfully at sam, “she’s not crazy, she’s just… a concerned friend.”

sam scoffed, “yeah, we can say that,” he smiled as he shook shawn’s hand, “sam, by the way. nice to meet you.”

“nice to meet you, too.” shawn smiled. you watched as tom was the last one to sit down at the table, nodding his head towards shawn.

“hey, mate.”

“hey, man. what’s up,” he greeted back, reaching to shake tom’s hand, “shawn.”

tom shook his hand, “tom.”

you watched as tom’s eyes locked with yours for a split second, the warm brown eyes once again cold as he saw you with shawn. he clenched his jaw as he sat down, not wanting to sit across from you and the guy who was everything he couldn’t be for you. 

nikki and your mom, thankfully, came out with the food in their hands as they placed everything down on the table, “who’s hungry.”

you felt shawn’s nerves from his seat next to you, giving his hand a squeeze under the table. he squeezed back, smiling as you made eye contact. 

the dinner talk consisted of everyone getting to know shawn a little better and talking about everyone’s favorite summer activities. but, of course, austin had to ruin the moment with an embarrassing story from when you were younger. 

that’s when you grabbed shawn’s hand, leaving the table as you led him up the stairs, “okay, i’m done with this conversation. you all have fun.”

everyone laughed as harry called out to you, “oh, come on! at least leave shawn!” 

you two laughed, “over my dead body, holland.”

you made your way into your room, closing the door behind you, “sorry, they get to be a little much.”

he waved you off, “it’s alright, i get it.”

you sat down on the bed, gesturing to the room, “this is me. not much, but that’s what i like about it.”

“that and this view,” shawn said as he looked out the large window, “i’d never leave this room.” 

you smiled, getting up and wrapping your arms around him from behind, resting your cheek on his back, “that’s another favorite part.”

he smiled, turning around as his arms wrapped around your torso this time, “i can’t deny a great view when i see one.”

you blushed softly, “me either.”

he smiled as his hand reached up and cupped your cheek into his hand softly, leaning down slowly as his nose pressed up against yours, “can i ask you something?”

you nodded, biting down softly on your lower lip as he continued, “i know it hasn’t been very long, but i really really like you and i was just wondering if you’d wanna be official, like be my… girlfriend?”

you smiled, “i really like you, too. and yes, i’d love to be your girlfriend.”

he smiled, leaning down and softly pressing his lips to yours. you both smiled into the kiss, breaking apart after a little while. you led him to bed bed, the both of you laying down. he grabbed the stuffed bear from under his back, laughing softly as you grabbed your tv remote from the nightstand. 

“who’s this?”

you chuckled, “that’s beary.”

“beary? you couldn’t have come up with a better name?” he joked and you laughed, snatching the brown stuffed bear from his hands. 

“i was 4! leave me alone.”

he laughed, pulling you so you were laying on top of him, both legs on either side of his hips. you smiled as you braced yourself, hands resting against his chest as his landed on your hips. 

he giggled, “poor beary. he’s stuck dealing with the worst name in history.”

you rolled your eyes, laughing as you smacked him playfully with the pillow, “shut up!”

add yourself to my tagged list here

tagged:

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[multifandomworldsposts]

🧣🎅🏻 KINKMAS 2024 🎄🧤

i’m going to be doing kinkmas this year!! i’ll be doing 5 days this year! give me requests and treat people with kindness!! 🫶🏻🧣🎄🎅🏻

Day 1: Early Morning Sex - Logan Howlet

Day 2: His Favorite - Jake 'Hangman' Seresin

Day 3: Sex Toys - Arthur Curry

Day 4: Slutty Pics - Kayce Dutton

[blueberrymash]

boyband heartthrob ! james sirius potter x the female solo artist he's rumored to be dating ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

[jirsungs]

NO IDEA ☆ l.dh

pairing: loser!donghyuck x fem!reader

no idea synopsis: a story where both you and lee donghyuck seem to get what you want. he's the perfect pawn in making your ex-boyfriend jealous and the smarty pants tutor helping you pass your math class. donghyuck has it easy too, he's finally able to seek out and experience the world of dating through you, his long-devoted crush and surprisingly enthusiastic tutoring student. but then again, when meaningless tutoring sessions soon evolve into reciprocated feelings, is it really that easy?

genre: college au, nonidol au, fake dating au, social media au (includes written chapters), classmates to friends to lovers, he's a nerd & she's a popular cheerleader (you see where this is going), he fell first but she fell harder trope, kinda based off to all the boys i've loved before, fluff, crack/humor, angst, one-sided pining that turns into mutual pining

warnings: explicit language, unrealistic college partying, talks about family issues (this does NOT reflect any of the idol's families!), yuqi has an ex gf, some alcohol consumption, kys and sexual humor, bullying, hyuck and his buds are mistreated ☹️, hyunjin is a bad bf!!!, cheesy af, unrequited love, bad insults that sound like they're from the 2000s, HELLA miscommunication

no idea playlist: btr's no idea, taylor swift's you belong with me, the vamps + demi lovato's somebody to you, james arthur's can i be him, ariana grande's daydreamin, fitz & the tantrums' out of my league, shawn mendes' treat you better, bruno mars' just the way you are, lonely god's marlboro nights, the 1975's i'm in love with you, sam smith's like i can, arctic monkeys' wanna be yours

author's note: FIRST HYUCK SMAUU! how we feeling 😏 i needed to get this idea out of my system! plus, i love this type of trope, and haechan just fits the nerdy role 😭 I HAD TO! but happy reading :D <3

comment if you wish to be tagged for the story's updates!

profiles: "ncu freaks" + jeno 🤔 | gal pals & two men

intro. #manifestationiskey 🩷

ep 1. but a FAILING?

ep 2. i guess i'm her tutor

ep 3. WHY IS HE ATTRACTIVE

ep 4. COUGH y/n bag him COUGH

ep 5. i know i can treat youuu bettterr

ep 6. YNHYUCK PLOT IS FINALLY SAILING!

ep 7. bro texts with his 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 𝓪𝓵𝓹𝓱𝓪 mode on 🐺👅

ep 8. bro fumbled HARD 🤦‍♂️

ep 9. LET THE BOY LIVE!! HES IN LOVE!!

ep 10. THE HARD LAUNCH GOES CRAZY

ep 11. lemme guess, fake boyfriend responsibilities? (written)

ep 12. jeno got me up... plotting

ep 13. AMAZING fake boyfriend

ep 14.

ep 15.

ep 16.

ep 17.

ep 18.

more to come. . .!

started: 09/06/24 finished:

© JIRSUNGS. ANY TRANSLATIONS/REPOSTS/PUBLISHES OF MY WORKS ON ANY PLATFORM ARE STRICTLY PROHIBITED! ALL COMMENTS, REBLOGS, LIKES, & FEEDBACK ARE GREATLY APPRECIATED! THANK YOU SO MUCH! I LOVE YOU, MWA! <3

[pottersmiracle]

Studying

Harry Potter x Fem! Reader

warnings: fluff-harry crushing on reader-use of y/n-added in that every student has their own dorm-first kiss 🙈

summary: harry never seems to focus when he studies, until now.

a/n: kinda long but swet <3

Masterlist

Harry was sitting in the library as he studied for their upcoming potion's quiz for Professor Snape's class. Harry was growing bored by the minute, every time Harry tried to doze off Hermione would notice and snap her fingers in his face or hit him with her wand. Which hurt quite a bit, and he definitely didn't want that again. But, he also just felt like he couldn't focus. He kept drowning out Ron and Hermione's constant bickering.

"Hermione can he please just take one break?" Ron pleaded noticing how tired he was. “Just watching him doze off is making me tired.”

“No Ronald! Do you really want him to fail another potions quiz and have Snape pressuring him even more? If you think he’s tired now i’d like to see him after that.” Hermione mumbled the last bit.

“She’s right Ron. I just.. need to find something to focus on so i can stay awake.” Harry said making Ron roll his eyes, “she’s always right.” Hermione hit him with her book making him groan and apologize.

Harry ignored them again, letting his eyes wander around the library. Then he saw her, y/n, the girl he’s been crushing on since their first year. They were best friends but he wanted to be more, so much more.

She noticed him almost immediately and smiled at him, he hoped she didnt notice the slight red hue on his cheeks as he smiled back at her. She said something to her friends and started walking over to him, making him instantly sit up straight.

“Hey Harry.” She said walking up with a smile. “Hey, uh, how are you?” He asked swallowing his nerves. “Better now that i’m talking to you.” She said with a smile. Now his blushing had to be noticeable after that.

He laughed and Hermione cut in, “thank goodness you’re here. You’re great at potions aren’t you? I’ve heard you in class you’re brilliant.” Y/n was taken aback at Hermione calling her a genius, Hermione was known as one of the smartest wizards of her age by most of the teachers after all.

“I’m certainly not a genius but i am fairly good at potions yes.” She answered. “Great. Could you try getting Harry to focus? Trying to get him to actually learn something is incredibly difficult.” She complained as Harry looked honestly offended.

“I can surely try.” She said laughing at Hermione’s comment. Hermione scooted over so y/n could sit across from Harry. Harry was certainly focused now and they hadn’t even started studying yet. This should be fun.

——

It had been almost an hour since y/n had sat down and started studying with Harry and Harry had already learned more from her then he had from Snape in the past 4 years. Hermione and Ron had certainly noticed that Harry was listening the whole time, and getting questions y/n asked him right.

“Students, it is now time to go back to your dormitories, the library is closed.” Professor McGonagall announced walking into the library. Y/n looked at Harry, “wanna continue this in my dorm? We only have one other chapter to go in this lesson if you’d like to finish it up.”

Harry wasn’t stupid, he wasn’t gonna say no to this. Not only was he actually learning something but he was just getting closer and closer to the girl he was in love with. “Yeah absolutely.” Harry responded. Y/n gathered the books as Harry looked at Hermione and Ron, Hermione was rolling her eyes and shaking her head with a smile, Rom subtly elbowed him and smirked at him.

“I’ll see you both tomorrow morning at breakfast yeah?” Harry said. “Yeah we’ll see you both tomorrow. Goodnight y/n!” Hermione said, waving to y/n who was putting away the books they didn’t need. “Night you two!” She responded waving back before handing Neville a book he had been waiting to read after they were finished.

——

They were in her dorm on her bed sitting across from each other. They had finished the book and was now just talking. About class, quidditch, family, anything they could think of. Harry was loving every second of it, he didn’t know that y/n was too.

As she closed the textbook to put it away, a charged tension lingered in the room. Their eyes met, and he couldn't help but stutter, "You know, this studying thing was... surprisingly enjoyable." She smirked, replying with a teasing tone, "Yeah, who knew potions could be so thrilling?" In the hushed atmosphere, their lips finally met, setting off a bomb of emotions that had been building with every exchanged glance and stolen touch during their study sessions.

After their lips parted, a gentle silence enveloped them. He chuckled nervously, breaking the quiet, "Well, that wasn't exactly studying was it." She blushed, "No, but I'd say it was more interesting." They shared a lighthearted laugh, the awkwardness fading into a newfound comfort.

He gently grabbed her hand, holding it in his as she rested her head on his shoulder, both smiling and laughing with each other.

It was perfect.

[milliesfishes]

Hi! I simply ADORE your writing and idk if you’re taking requests right now but I’d love an accidental pregnancy with Billy story (maybe even with some enemies to lovers vibes)!

౨ৎ꣑ৎStaying౨ৎ꣑ৎ

[fem reader] contains: angst, pregnancy, bullet wound pairing: billy the kid x fem reader author’s note: sorry this took forever! here's your poll winner I hope you like it hehe. thank you @phantomamor for reading through it for me mwah Pinterest Board Spotify Playlist

His hair was a mess. Curly and free of his hat for once, dancing over the plane of his forehead. You could count every freckle on his cheek if you wanted to, easier than counting stars. His breathing was soft, escaping his slightly parted lips in brief little puffs. He was sunk into the mattress next to you, arm slung around your side, fingers splayed over your back. You hadn't bothered to redress and neither had he.

It must have been nearly an hour since you woke up, his heartbeat stuttering in your ears. Even when you'd shifted, he hadn't woken. It'd likely been a long time since he'd slept in a decent bed, so used to collapsing and shutting his eyes whenever he could. Although he'd been here renting this room for nearly a week, there wasn't any way he was used to it yet. Or maybe he was just relaxed. You'd slept better than expected too.

Blinking, you shook yourself out of your daze, suddenly realizing where you were. Billy Bonney's bed. Billy the Kid's bed. And he was sprawled out as if it were nothing, palm warming your side, maybe leaving a handprint with how long it'd been resting there.

Sitting up, you watched his hand drop from your waist to your thigh. He still didn't stir. Letting the sheet fall away, you stiffened upon seeing the patches of red that marked his trail of kisses down your body, the result of his stubble rubbing at your skin. It'd been deliciously satisfying at the time, but now the leftover sting only heightened your shame.

Reaching down and rubbing at the most prominent marks on each inner thigh, you squeezed your eyes shut. Your innocence had been surrendered to a man whose face was splashed all over the West with a reward over his hat. The same hat you'd knocked off his head so you could tangle your hand in his hair. It'd been softer than you remembered.

Your brother James' childhood friendship with him as well as your brief romance felt like decades ago. It ended when he'd skipped town without so much as a letter. Needless to say, it'd been a shock to see him leaning on the bar last night, sipping his drink and grinning at something another man said. And when your eyes caught his, there was nearly a string of fire stretched in the distance between you. Everything unspoken pushed you together again, until there was no separation.

He'd been so smooth last night. Gentle, touch like a butterfly as he unwrapped you from your dress and whispered things that set your heart aflame. Though there were new shadows behind his eyes, this was the same Billy who'd told you he loved you all those years ago. You knew him, but obviously you hadn't known him.

He'd filled out in the time he'd been away. Your Billy Antrim had been broad and manly, but this Billy was somehow broad-er. Pressed against you now, it was easier to tell. He wasn't at all a kid, contrary to the name he'd earned from the law. It'd been freeing to be with him. You'd felt alive. This was something you'd done for yourself, no watchful eye of a protective brother standing above you like a lighthouse.

Maybe a piece of your heart had always been with him. It was so easy to fall back into your old patterns, conversation flowing like water, his touch familiar and safe. When he'd kissed you, it was like you'd found the X on a map you didn't know you were following. Was it worth all the heartbreak you'd nursed for so long?

Billy's hand twitched on your thigh, squeezing lightly, and you decided it was.

Lying back down, you pressed your cheek to his chest, settling your hand over his heart and letting yourself relax. Subconsciously, Billy's arm tightened around you, and you felt your eyes growing heavier. In all the time you'd imagined being in love, you never thought you'd feel comfortable sleeping next to someone. Apparently, your imagination had steered you wrong. It felt so safe here, like his arms could ward off any darkness that crossed your path. Except of course, for the night, when he would make love to you and hold you until you both succumbed to your dreams.

As you drifted off again, cozy and sleepy, you could finally place the feeling that'd been knocking at your back.

Home. He made you feel like you were home.

Shielding your eyes from the sun, you peered out into the distance from the porch. James was supposed to be back by now with everything you'd sent him into town for. Normally you would've gone yourself, but today he'd insisted.

Not bothering to argue, you'd distracted yourself with chores, hoping it'd fill more hours than it had. The house was spotless now, the animals fed, dinner on the fire. The only thing missing was your brother.

Maybe he'd been held up in town. You wouldn't be surprised. There wasn't a soul your brother couldn't make friends with, and he put it to the test wherever he went. Leaning on the railing, you sighed, closing your eyes and trying to ignore the growling in your stomach. You were supposed to eat regularly, and your brother was aware of that. Ordinarily you'd go ahead and serve yourself up a portion, but one of the missing ingredients happened to be on the list you'd sent him out with.

It'd been a tense few months. There'd been troubles with the ranch hands, as well as a mysterious outbreak among the horses that only allowed one person to leave at a time. Not that you minded. It wasn't like you'd want to go to town anyways, for fear of who you'd see.

The ranch was distant enough to give you some peace. And you were able to avoid prying eyes, or whatever gossip could circulate. Now more than ever, you were wary of it. Ever since that night with Billy, truthfully. Last time you'd graced the bounds of town, you'd been on edge, scanning for familiar blue eyes, or curls peeking out from under his hat. Mercifully, he was nowhere to be found.

Time had passed. Enough time to grow bitter. The feeling left a bad taste in your mouth, but you couldn't spit it out. It had grown, twisting around your bones and wrapping fingers across your throat. If James had noticed, he hadn't said anything, though he didn't have to. The way he'd handled you lately told you everything you needed to know.

You bent your head, feeling slightly faint with hunger. Hair falling in front of your eyes, you stared down at the skirt of your loose-fitting dress. Sorting through what you had in the cabinets, you wondered if you could make do without what you'd been waiting on. As soon as you began to entertain the notion, it was dismissed. You'd been craving this soup all day, even in the warm of the dying summer. August was full of endings, and you felt as though you were hurrying along its departure by making something you usually reserved for winter.

Hoofbeats. Lifting your head, you perked up as you saw a horse in the distance, heading for you fast. Now you could make out James' familiar outline, of his hat and the dark grey shirt he'd left the house wearing this morning. Folding your arms and leaning back, you were ready to give him a hunger-induced earful for being late.

Squinting as he got closer, you could see the other rider behind him. From where they'd appeared on the horizon, you hadn't been able to make out the second horse, the other person tagging along. Smoothing your hair, you pushed aside any twinges of annoyance that came with James' apparent impromptu dinner invitation. You'd made enough food, surely, but you hadn't been expecting a visitor.

Your brother and his guest stopped, tying their horses and chatting all the while, the other man saying something that made your brother erupt in deep laughter as he hoisted his full bag from his horse. You stood up straight, thankful he'd at least followed the list.

Bounding up the stairs, James greeted you with a kiss to your cheek, holding your elbow with his free hand for a second. "You okay?" When you nodded, he squeezed, nodding briefly. "Got everything you asked for. And I brought Billy 'round for dinner."

Billy-?

You whipped to see the man standing at the bottom of the porch steps, hat in his hand as he looked up at you with those blue eyes that hadn't ever failed to put stars in yours. A tightness erupted in your chest, and you felt your expression drop. For a moment you were frozen, just staring at him.

Now memories from that night were stealing your vision. Waking up alone after falling back asleep, the spot next to you cold and empty. In fact, the room had been emptied of any remnant of him. The few possessions that had been strewn across the dresser had disappeared, along with his clothes, his boots, and his gun. When you looked out the window where the horses were tied up, his hadn't been among them. The only evidence he'd been there were the marks he'd left on your body and the indent in the other pillow.

He'd left you. Again.

Of course you'd felt stupid. Just like in your early youth, you'd fallen for his charm and heartbreak ensued. You should have known he hadn't changed. While the first time you'd been sad over it, now you were angry. And the following months only added fuel to your fire.

The way he'd looked at you had pulled you in, a lifeline in your sea of content misery. You'd been so hopeful, so happy over him that you hadn't taken any of the risk in mind. You didn't know what he'd been up to in the time that had passed. Seeing him in the bar that night, you hadn't asked questions, hadn't brought up anything about him leaving. It'd been nostalgic, a trick of the light that had you falling into his bed. And now you were paying the price for it.

All of this circled you like vultures over a fresh carcass as you stood there looking at him. He didn't break your gaze.

"C'mon, you're hungry, I know it," James said, putting his hand on your back and guiding you inside. "'m sorry I took so long. Didn't know Billy was back in town."

"Who would've guessed?" you asked, side-eyeing Billy as you allowed your brother to lead you in.

When you reached for his bag to dig out the soup's missing ingredient, James swatted your hand away. "You go sit. I know you've been on your feet too long today."

Billy looked at you curiously as you sat down, tucking your feet under the chair and chewing on your bottom lip. It felt embarrassing for your brother to be doing this right now, even though he had been for months. It was more that it was in front of Billy.

James started cutting the missing carrots, and you were left in silence with your unexpected guest as the sound of chopping filled the air. Billy shuffled where he stood, then decided to go into the kitchen. "I'll see if he needs any help." Only moments later he emerged, standing uncomfortably in front of the door.

You looked away, focusing on breathing in and out. Yet another thing you were supposed to do. Breathe and do it easy. It was okay. You'd been without him for months and you'd been fine. At least, that was what you had to tell yourself.

Billy sat across from you, and you could feel his eyes on you, though you didn't lift yours. Without looking, you knew his knee was bouncing, just a little. One of his nervous tics. "Didn't know James knew how to cook."

"He didn't until a few months ago." Your response was directed at the edge of the table, where your eyes followed the wooden pattern.

"How've you been?" he asked quietly, and you blinked.

It was a loaded answer. You didn't bother playing with telling him the truth. "Fine."

"James said you've been havin' a tough time," he muttered, and your eyes snapped up.

"What'd he say?" It came out harsher than you meant, and Billy's brow knit in confusion.

"Didn't say what about." Your shoulders slumped in relief, and he watched you suspiciously.

When you'd been his girl it'd been nearly startling how well he could read you. And the night you'd seen him again three months ago, it was evident how little that had changed. The way he'd been with your body against his, anticipating your needs, what you wanted him to do. He'd been perfect. It'd only made his leaving hurt more.

Opening his mouth, Billy began to ask you something but was interrupted by James bringing in the bowls of soup. You jumped up, but he shook his head. "Stay sitting. I'll get the other one." He kept leaving you alone with Billy. He didn't have a reason not to, but it still put you on edge. When your brother returned once more, some of the tension diffused, and you all lifted your spoons.

Dinner turned out well, even with the late addition of the carrots. James told a funny story about work that day and you finally cracked a smile, the burden on your heart lightening. When Billy answered James' question about what he'd been up to, you listened carefully, trying not to look like you were too interested.

"Had a bad run-in with a few folks from the last town I was in," he said, looking between you and James. The thumb of his hand on the table next to his empty bowl was tapping lightly, and you watched it. Up. Down. Up. Down. "Was actually here for a night a while ago but I had to skip again cause they found me."

You met his eyes, something chipping at the cast you'd put around your heart. That was why he'd left? Stiffening again, you looked down. He still could have said something. He'd had enough time to clear out his things, so he could have woken you or left a note or something. And then there was the matter of the first time he'd left too. A wound that hadn't healed, no matter how much you covered it and pretended it did.

James gave a low whistle. "You've had a real adventure. We're real glad to have you back, Billy."

"I shouldn't've ever left," he said, looking squarely at you. Heart thudding at your chest, you lowered your gaze.

Standing up, you fluffed your dress away from yourself, a habit. "I'm going to sit outside for a bit before bed."

James stood almost instantly, a hint of concern in his expression. "You feelin' okay? Need anything?"

"I'm fine," you promised, giving your dress another fluff. "I just want to watch the sunset." James accepted this, but you could feel Billy watching you leave.

Nearly collapsing on the front porch chair, you tried to focus on the sunset, counting the colors. This was an activity James had done with you one night when you were panicking, and it'd worked since. This was a different sort of panic, though. This was a disease eating at your insides, threatening to tear you in half.

You wouldn't deny you'd imagined seeing him again. Pictured what you'd say, what he'd say. But this was beyond what your mind could come up with. It was too soon. Too soon after everything. However much you'd thought you could handle had been an overestimation. No amount of time could have prepared you for his arrival here, in the one place you had left as refuge.

Red, blue, pink, orange. You made a list in your head. Clouds, grass, hills, trees. Maybe if you closed your eyes, everything would disappear. Every wrong sorrowful tragic aspect of your life gone in the blink of an eye.

How you wished these emotions had faded with time. If anything, the sand from the hourglass had coarsened them, created jagged shards of glass that cut you on the inside. At least nobody could see you bleeding.

When you heard boots on the floor, you stood, avoiding Billy's eyes as you watched the sun sink deeper into the earth. His scent hadn't changed- it was something distinct and all him. It permeated the air, nearly suffocating you.

"I'm sorry." He said it softly. You didn't bother looking. "I know me showin' up like this upset you-"

"I don't care what you do, Billy." Your tone was colder than you meant it to be, and beneath the shell you put around the woman you used to be, she winced.

"Sweetheart-" he paused when you winced. "I did a bad thing, I know. I hurt you-"

"You hurt me before," you whispered, looking up at him blankly. "I don't care."

Billy's face didn't change. You wished he would stop looking at you like that, like he'd stumbled on treasure in the desert. His mouth was flattened, like a ridge. Where tension had dissolved before, now it was stretched taut, ready to snap. Biting the side of your cheek, you fought the tears that threatened to make an appearance, but it was like trying to hold a bursting closet door shut.

When his hand found your face, you closed your eyes, humiliated as a tear slipped through the cracks, your facade crumbling. His course thumb caught it, and you lifted your lids, eyes hardening.

"Talk to me," he breathed, searching your eyes. You froze as two more tears slipped from your eyes and cascaded down your cheeks. The truth was at the tip of your tongue, but you kept your mouth shut. If he knew, it could ruin everything.

"I'm fine," you managed, but he held firm, shaking his head. "Billy," you started, voice firm as it could be. "Just go. It doesn't matter."

"It does matter-"

"You left me!" Taking a step back, you stared up at him, no longer caring if you cried. "You left me twice without ever saying a word and this time you left me-" Stopping short, your eyes widened slightly as you realized what you'd almost said.

"What?" Billy closed the gap between you, searching your eyes and grasping your shoulders, his touch causing you to stiffen. You hated that you wanted it, wanted him to pull you into his arms and tell you everything was okay. "I know somethin' happened, what-?"

You sniffled, smoothing a nervous hand over your midsection without thinking. His gaze dropped, and he froze. As soon as you realized what you'd done, you tried to step away but he held you firm, eyes never straying.

"You're-" Billy swallowed, growing pale at the notion. "Sweetheart, you're-"

Now your vision was blurry, hot tears springing and falling without your permission. You folded your arms over yourself, feeling your hands start to shake. Billy's hands flew to your cheeks, tilting your face up so you were looking at him, into those deep blue eyes that had gotten you into this mess to begin with. In the softest voice you could imagine, he asked, "Is it mine?" Sniffling once, you nodded. Billy exhaled, one hand sliding to your crown and pulling you into his chest. You didn't fight him.

Being back in his arms was a daydream you'd let yourself indulge in only a few times. But no amount of imagining compared to the real thing. He engulfed you, pulling you in like you'd been lost at sea,

Sinking into him, you could feel yourself breaking. This is what you had craved ever since you'd found out, the itch only he could scratch. When he pressed a kiss to the top of your head, you closed your eyes. "I needed you."

"I know." His voice was unsteady, nearly breaking as he tightened his arms around you. "I know. I'm so sorry, sweetheart." You hid your face in his chest and he smoothed your hair, voice sounding frantic. "I shouldn't've left..."

"I needed you," you repeated desperately, and you swore you felt a tear fall into your hair.

"'m sorry." The emotion in his voice had you grasping at his shirt, trembling as he lowered you both to the ground. He started to rock back and forth, rubbing a hand up and down your back. "I left you alone, I left you-" he cut himself off, burying his face in your hair. Tentatively, you lifted a hand, sinking into his dark curls. The familiarity prompted another tear or two out of you.

When you noticed it'd grown dark, you pulled yourself away, wiping your eyes and risking a look at him. He was solemn, eyes roving over you. It was a look you recognized. Checking, making sure everything was okay. You brushed away another tear, whispering, "It's okay."

"It's not." Billy reached for your hand, eyes soft.

"I've been fine without you, Billy," you snapped, pulling away before his fingers could brush yours. "You don't have to do anything for me."

"I'm not just gonna leave-"

"You had no problem doing it before," you cut him off, reaching up and gripping the porch railing to get to your feet. The sting of humiliation was already coursing through you, and your instinct was to run. "Just go. I'm fine."

Without another look, you strode into the house, making a beeline for your room and shutting the door. Not one set of footsteps, Billy's or your brother's, dared follow you.

Lifting a hand to your face, you slid against the door, body shaking again with tears.

"Outta the way!"

You nearly dropped the plate in your hands, watching your brother stumble into the room with a limp, staggering Billy supported by his shoulder. Blood soaked the blue of his shirt, and your heart gave a pang. Feeling faint, you watched in a daze as he propped him up on the kitchen table, speaking lowly. James looked up, silently shooing you from the room. Turning on your heel, you fled and shut the door behind you, heart pounding in your ears.

Billy's presence on the ranch had been nearly constant since he found out that night, acting as a shadow toward you. Your brother, ever kindhearted, had hired him on, insisting he give work to his oldest friend. You'd protested but stopped once he started to question why it bothered you so much. Catching yourself, you realized James was bound to find out sooner or later. If you kept arguing, it would be sooner.

To Billy's credit, he kept his mouth shut about the paternity of your child. But that didn't mean he kept to himself. It seemed that every second he had away from work he spent at your side, pestering and fussing over you, constantly asking if you were okay, if you needed anything and maybe you should sit down because he didn't want you to get too tired. It was overbearing, and you fought him at every turn.

"Darlin'-" he'd protest, trying to guide you to a chair. "You gotta rest, alright? For you 'n the baby. Please?" Sometimes you would sit down begrudgingly, his pleading blue eyes persuading you into his way. Others, you would push away his hands, some sharp-tongued comment leaving your mouth as you stormed away to be anywhere but near him. Your emotions were running wild, a something you attributed to the new life growing inside you. Although, the circumstances surrounding the arrival of the baby's father couldn't have helped.

Still, he persisted. It was impressive, really. The way he kept at it, never once giving up. Whenever you burst out and told him to leave you alone, he just stood there, letting you take it out on him. It always ended in tears.

You cried more now than you ever had before, in private most often. Really, your head was all muddled from everything happening all at once. Billy was trying to flow seamlessly back into your life, but you wouldn't let him. He didn't deserve to get back in so easily this time.

But now as you paced the length of the living room, anxiety squeezing your heart and hammering at your ribs, the only thing in your heart was regret. A fierce sickness that clouded your senses and brought tears to your eyes. What if he died? What if the father of your child died and you could have forgiven him and you didn't? He'd hurt you, there was no doubt about it. But he cared. He'd proved it a million times since he found out, putting down roots just in case you decided you wanted him.

Here, as you shuddered and shook over the idea of losing him, you knew it was more than that.

"Hey-" At the sound of your brother's voice, your head snapped up. James looked harried, clenching his jaw as he ran a hand over his hair. "He's askin' for you. I can't do anything 'nless he sits still-"

"I'm coming." Your feet were moving before you knew it, and you stepped past James into the kitchen, heading straight for Billy.

The moment he saw you, he reached out, motions almost drunken. "Baby..." he slurred, catching your hand. "So...so pretty. Prettiest girl in the west..."

"Billy what happened?" you asked, squeezing his hand, brow scrunched. You were trying to ignore the blood on his shirt, the red growing deeper by the second. James was fetching something in the other room, bandages most likely.

"Shoot...shootout, darlin'..." he managed, grinning up at you and wincing when he shifted. The pain must be making him woozy. "Don' worry 'bout me..."

"Why were you in a shootout?" you asked, horrified. Holding his hand close to your heart, you whispered, "You weren't on the ranch."

"Tryna make a lil' extra, honey." Billy reached out with his other hand, cupping your face. "F' the baby. 'n you." He pulled your fingers down to his lips. "Wanna marry you, pretty. Do it right..." Wincing, he tried to continue. "Didn't do right by ya the first time...wanna make it better..."

James interrupted, arriving with a messy pile of medical supplies in his arms. "Give him some laudanum." He shoved the bottle and a spoon into your hands, not seeming to notice the look on your face leftover from what Billy said. Almost stiffened by shock, you measured the amount and fed it to him, praying it would kick in sooner rather than later.

"Good. Help me get his shirt off." James nodded at Billy. In your condition, your brother wouldn't dare have you help with something like this unless it were dire.

With shaky hands, you got to work, ignoring the way Billy was blatantly watching you, as if you were a saint in a storm. You didn't grimace when his blood stained your hands, peeling the shirt away from his chest and working his arm out one side while James did the other. He tossed it to the side, tearing his eyes away from Billy. "You're gonna talk to 'im okay? Distract him cause I dunno when the medicine'll kick in."

"Okay," you whispered, still staring into Billy's eyes. They were clouded over, his head lulling. When James started to dab at the affected area, Billy gritted his teeth, grunting and reaching for your hand on his uninjured side.

You remembered your job, squeezing his hand. "I..." Panic was seizing you, holding your tongue. James gave you a look, and you were kicked into action. "It's okay. You're gonna be okay. We're gonna get you fixed up, alright?" Tears pricked at your eyes. "Billy, you've gotta hang on, alright? I...we need you. Both of us." You weren't talking about you and James.

Billy's eyes went soft, and he held fast to your hand, looking up at you like a puppy. You wouldn't be surprised if he melted off the table, a snowdrift in the sun. James was hard at work, and you avoided looking. You never wanted to see this much of Billy's blood again.

A thousand questions poked at your tongue, things you wanted to ask your brother, ask the father of your child, but you held back. Later you'd interrogate them all you wanted, but for now Billy's safety was at stake.

"Need to sit him up," James finally said, sliding his arm under Billy's shoulders. "Here- get on the table and keep 'im steady." You scooted up, feeling numb as you went through the motions. Billy looked dazed, but he was still as you tucked your shoulder under his arm, back against his side. His fingers splayed out, seemingly searching for something, and you gave him your hand.

James wrapped the bandage around Billy's middle, and you shifted your body as needed, still pressed to him. It was precautionary; he wasn't nearly out of it enough that he'd have trouble staying upright. But you found yourself wanting to stay, your mind telling you that if you left for even a second, he'd collapse and never wake up.

"Alright." James stood up, nudging his chair back. "He's gonna be fine. Was just a graze, so we'll check it every little bit."

Your eyes were on the ground, Billy's hand in yours the only thing you were aware of. The pounding of your heart slowed when it was confirmed that he would be okay, but you still wanted to cry. You almost lost him today, with every unsaid thing still poking at your backs.

James managed to guide him out of the kitchen, depositing him in his own bedroom for now. You trailed in behind them, unable to tear your eyes away from Billy, shirtless and bandaged, his eyes fluttering shut as the lingering opium in his system lured sleep to him. He's safe. He's safe, you repeated to yourself. He's safe.

Turning to James, you hissed, "What the hell were you doing that ended in a gunfight?"

Swallowing, your brother shifted on his feet. "Was a job. We've done 'em before 'n everything was fine but this time..." he winced. "'nother gang showed up and they wouldn't back off. We're lucky he wasn't hurt worse."

You stood shocked, eyes wide. "A job-"

"Before you say anythin'-" James held up his hands. "Billy was stubborn 'bout it. He wanted...well..." His eyes fell to your midsection, which became more swollen by the day. "He's been lookin' for ways to make more money for you 'n..."

Your heart sank. He knew. Turning to look at the man sleeping on the bed, you felt another wave of emotion crash over you.

"He cares a lot about you," James said quietly. "He woulda done it without my help, but it's a good thing he didn't."

Silent, you fought back tears, regret welling up like a river after the first snowfall. All this time while you'd been pushing him away and insisting you didn't need him, he'd been working for you. For your future, and for the baby. You knew all too well that any other man would have run for the hills and left you with "your" problem, but not Billy.

You'd been taking him for granted. And it had almost killed him.

Looking back at your brother, you whispered, "I can watch him for awhile. You go clean up. You can use my room if you need some rest." The sun was still high in the sky, but James looked exhausted. He merely nodded, meandering away after a final glance at Billy.

James' footsteps thumped away, and you sank into a chair close to Billy, watching the rise and fall of his chest like his life depended on it.

Sliding a hand over your belly, you found yourself trying not to cry again. For months you'd had yourself convinced that you didn't need him, that you could do this on your own. Have the baby and do the best you could, all the while nursing an ache that you refused to admit was there.

A tear bubbled up, spilling from your eye, and you sniffled, looking down and swiping at it. It proved to be pointless when more sprouted, flowing down your cheeks faster than you could get rid of them. You took in a sharp breath, letting your hand drop to your lap as you cried silently, the tightness in your chest nearly suffocating.

You nearly jumped when you felt a hand on your knee, palm warm as it rested there. When you looked up at Billy, his eyes were open, brow scrunched in concern. You tried to clear your tears with your hand again, but he squeezed your thigh.

"Sweetheart..." his voice was sleepy. "What's wrong?"

"Go back to sleep, Billy," you tried, blinking rapidly, sniffling and setting your other hand on his. "You need to rest."

"Been tellin' you the same thing for weeks," he mumbled, shifting to the side and lifting his hand from your leg, effectively opening his arm. "C'mere." When you only stared at him, the corners of his lips turned up just slightly. "'s okay. We both need it."

All resolve gone, you found yourself obliging, crawling into bed with him on his uninjured side and letting him guide your head to his shoulder, body relaxing once it was against his. As you settled into him, his hand found its way around your waist, the tips of his fingers on your swollen tummy. It felt like a missing piece of you sliding into place.

"I'm sorry." The words fell out of your mouth, and Billy hummed, rubbing your side.

You couldn't see his face, but you knew the furrow in his brows hadn't unfolded. "What for?"

Everything. There were a million things you wanted to say, but they all fell short when you lifted your head to look up at him. Earnest blue eyes, hitched to you like you were the one thing keeping him from floating into the stars. Swallowing, you whispered, "You got hurt...because of me..."

"No." Billy's hand pressed at your side until you laid back down. "No, that wasn't your fault. Was a stupid thing to do."

"You were doing it for me..." you whispered, more tears blurring your vision. "And I haven't been kind to you since you came back."

"Hey-" Billy grunted as he sat up a little, bringing you with him. Leaning against the headboard, his fingers drew a soothing vertical pattern at your waist. He searched your eyes, shaking his head. "I shouldn't've left. It's the worst thing I ever did. Leavin' you alone after what we did..." he exhaled deeply, mouth flattened. "It was bad enough I did it the first time."

"But you had a reason...'n I shouldn't have been so mad..." you whispered.

He thumbed the side of your face, eyes tender. "I thought I was protecting you." His shoulders slumped. "But all I did was hurt you."

"It's okay," you breathed, holding his wrist. There was no bitterness or loathing or grudges behind it. Everything that had happened was in the past. He was here now.

"It's not," Billy mumbled, but his expression lightened. You knew your anger at him must have taken a toll, and it must have been a relief not to have it burning him anymore. He brought his hand to the back of your head, stroking your hair with his thumb. "You know I've loved you all this time? Think there's somethin' wrong with me. Like I'm cursed. Bad things happen to the ones I love and it's usually my fault."

"No, bad things happen to everyone," you corrected, heart aching. Swallowing, you softly said, "I've loved you too. All the while."

Billy paused, his eyes softening. The way he watched your expression like he was making sure it wasn't a trick broke your heart all over again. He'd been hurting just as much as you, and you'd been too caught up to notice.

You leaned forward, catching his lips in a soft kiss, careful not to lean on his injured side. He used his hand at your crown to hold you to him, mouth moving slow and steady and easy, the feeling of his mouth against yours nearly convincing you he never left. You may as well have been eighteen again, fresh in love and invincible.

Pulling back, Billy brushed a kiss to your nose, than your forehead, and you closed your eyes. His hand found your tummy again, hold protective. "I love you. You and the baby."

"I love you," you whispered, meaning every syllable. Billy relaxed back into the bed, pulling you down with him and grinning when your belly poked him in the side. You nuzzled your head into his shoulder, eyes falling shut. "I've wanted you with me but I didn't know how to say it..."

"I wanted you too." Billy smoothed your hair, kissing your head. "I wanted to be here for you."

"You have been. Over and over," you promised, hand rubbing his chest. His skin was warm, and you felt sleepy just lying against it. "Over...and over..."

As you drifted off into dreamland, a part of you panicked, remembering the last time you'd fallen asleep next to him. A voice told you to keep your eyes open, to make sure he wouldn't run.

But when he pulled you in impossibly closer, laying another kiss to your head and sleepily mumbling that he loved you, the voice disappeared. You shifted comfortably, knowing when you woke up, he would still be here.

He would stay.

[ruewrote]

𝑏𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑛 ℎ𝑒 𝑐𝑎𝑛.

PAIRING: josh washington x fem!reader WARNINGS: jealousy, arguments, no use of y/n GENRE: angst, enemies to lovers SONG INSPIRATION: treat you better by shawn mendes WORD COUNT: 4.6k REQUESTED: yes

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you weren’t exactly sure how you ended up in this mess. two guys, one you were trying to like and one you couldn’t help but like, bickering over the dumbest things. their voices faded into the background as you stared out the frost lined window, watching the snowfall in thick, silent sheets.

it was your favourite time of year, your annual invitation to the washington lodge. hannah and beth always made you feel like family, holding a special place for you in their hearts ever since you’d befriended them in school. the first time they brought you to their mountain retreat, you were floored.

you still remembered wandering through the massive house with wide eyes, marveling at how luxurious it was. you had an idea that they were rich when they asked you to come with them to a cabin lodge of all places, but damn.

there was an embarrassing amount of times where you’d gotten turned around in the sprawling halls, having to call them in embarrassment to come find you. they used to laugh so hard at your awe struck reaction.

years had passed since then, and you’d grown more comfortable with the place. it almost felt like a second home now, complete with a guest room they’d decorated just for you. “so it feels like yours,” they’d said, insisting it was only fair since you spent so much time there.

but this year was different. this year, you’d brought someone with you. derek.

when the invitation arrived, you’d asked if you could bring him along without much thought. it had been a few months, and things with him were going well enough– or at least well enough to keep your mind off the one person you shouldn’t be thinking about.

at first, you thought it was a good idea. but standing in the lodge’s grand entryway, you started to regret it.

hannah and beth greeted you like always, pulling you into tight hugs, their excitement infectious. then their eyes landed on derek, and everything about their demeanor shifted.

“oh my god,” she grins wide. “who’s this cutie?”

“don’t hold out on us!” hannah added, elbowing you playfully.

jessica and emily weren’t far behind, their expressions lighting up the second they noticed derek.

“wait, wait, hold up,” jessica said, flipping her hair over her shoulder as she gave you a sly smile. “who’s this, and why didn’t we know about him sooner?”

emily crossed her arms, raising a brow. “yeah, seriously. is he single? or…?”

you tried to keep it casual as you introduced him, brushing off their teasing with a wave of your hand. derek, of course, handled it smoothly, flashing them a disarming smile.

“nice to meet you all,” he said before turning to you. “i’ll take our bags upstairs while you catch up.”

then, as if on cue, he leaned down and pressed a kiss to your cheek.

the second he disappeared up the stairs, chaos erupted.

hannah and beth squealed, sam grabbed onto your arm while beth gave you a knowing look. “okay, spill. everything.”

“seriously, we need the deets,” jessica chimed in, smirking.

“or at least a timeline,” emily added, looking almost impressed.

before you could even get a word in, josh appeared, chris trailing behind him with his hands stuffed in his jacket pockets.

josh’s gaze darted toward the stairs, his brow furrowing as he pointed a thumb in the direction where derek had gone. “so.. care telling me who that was?”

chris leaned in slightly, adjusting his glasses. “yeah, do we know him, or…?”

josh’s eyes flicked to the stairs where derek had disappeared, his lips pressing into a thin line. 

"you already know who he is, josh! you’ve known about him for weeks," hannah groaned, exasperation clear in her voice.

beth stepped in quickly, her tone cheerful as she nudged josh’s arm. “please don’t start. he seems sweet. right, girls?”

they all nod enthusiastically. “totally. i mean, it’s about time you brought someone, and he’s cute. good job.” sam playfully nudges you.

“thanks,” you said, smiling at her, grateful for the distraction. but josh’s scoff pulled your attention right back to him.

“what?” you asked, folding your arms.

“nothing,” josh said, the word practically dripping with something. he leaned back against the wall, his hands shoved into his pockets. “i mean, i’m just saying it’s bold, bringing a guy you barely know to a place like this. kind of soon, don’t you think?”

jessica’s laugh chimed from behind you as she sauntered into the group, casually tossing her hair over her shoulder. “oh, come on, josh. if she brought him all the way up here, he can’t be that bad,” she said, smiling. 

josh’s jaw tightened, but he forced a smile. “oh, sure.”

you sighed, exasperated. “josh, seriously? what’s your deal?”

“my deal?” he echoed, his voice louder now, as if he couldn’t believe what you’d asked. “i don’t have a deal. just making observations.”

“uh huh,” emily said as she strolled over, crossing her arms with a teasing grin. she glanced at josh, her tone light but pointed. “let me guess, derek doesn’t quite measure up to whatever impossible standards you’ve set, huh?”

josh’s smile was thin, his tone sharp. “i’m just looking out for her. isn’t that what friends do?”

you clenched your fists at your sides, willing yourself to stay calm. “you don’t even know him, josh.”

“and you do?” josh shot back.

the words stung more than they should have, and you had to take a steadying breath before responding. “you’re unbelievable.”

beth stepped between you, raising her hands. “okay, that’s enough. let’s not ruin the weekend before it’s even started.”

“yeah,” hannah agreed, looping her arm through yours and pulling you toward the kitchen. “hot cocoa, anyone? let’s leave the drama here, please.”

you glanced back as hannah steered you away, meeting josh's gaze for a fleeting moment. his eyes were locked on you, lingering with an unspoken weight, like he was on the verge of saying something but held back. the tension between you was thick, undeniable, and the worst part? 

you weren’t sure you wanted to look away.

the next few days were nothing short of a nightmare. every moment felt like walking on eggshells, with josh finding any excuse to nitpick derek. whether it was a sly comment during dinner or a backhanded compliment when everyone was relaxing, he didn’t hold back.

derek, to his credit, didn’t let it slide. he defended himself every time, the tension between them escalating with every exchange. what started as petty jabs turned into full on arguments, and you found yourself caught in the middle, exhausted and drained.

most nights ended with you retreating to your room, shutting the door behind you,  collapsing onto the bed in frustration. the dark, quiet space became your only refuge as you rubbed your temples and tried to breathe through the stress. this wasn’t what you wanted. this wasn’t how the trip was supposed to go.

the breaking point came on the second to last day. you had spent hours trying to convince yourself to push through, but the tension was unbearable. by the evening, you made up your mind, you were done.

derek had already packed earlier that afternoon, his patience worn thin by josh’s constant jabs. you followed suit, pulling your suitcase out and beginning to fold your clothes in stiff silence. the thought of leaving early filled you with guilt, but you couldn’t stay, not like this.

when the others found out, it was pure chaos.

“are you serious?” beth said, her voice a mix of disbelief and sadness. “you’re leaving already?”

“just one more night,” hannah begged, clutching your arm. “please. it’s not the same without you.”

emily, practical but no less emotional, sighed as she crossed her arms. “i get it, but… don’t let this ruin the trip. you’ll regret it later.”

jessica leaned against the doorway, her lips pursed. “you came to reconnect, right? don’t let one person ruin that.”

their words tugged at your heart, but it didn’t change anything. not really. how could you stay with josh acting the way he was?

the worst part was the goodbyes. hugging each of them one by one, your chest tightened as tears pricked your eyes. you blinked them back, but it was no use.

“i’m sorry,” you whispered as you pulled back from hannah’s embrace. “i just… i can’t.”

“it’s not fair,” beth murmured, her own voice cracking.

“i know,” you said, barely able to meet her gaze. “i’ll make it up to you, i promise.”

when it came time to face josh, your stomach churned. he stood off to the side, hands shoved in his pockets, his face clouded with guilt. for once, he didn’t have anything snarky to say, no quip to throw out.

“you got what you wanted,” you said, your voice low, but it wasn’t enough to contain the way you were feeling. your chest ached with the weight of everything left unsaid, you couldn’t stop yourself.

“do you even realise what you’ve done?” you continued, your voice breaking as tears blurred your vision. “this was supposed to be a chance to reconnect with everyone. to have fun, to forget about everything else for a little while. but you… you made it unbearable.”

josh’s face fell, his guilt deepening as he opened his mouth to speak, but you didn’t give him the chance.

“you couldn’t just let me have this, could you?” you said, your voice rising. “you had to turn it into something miserable, and what makes it worse is that i don’t even know why. is it derek? is it me? what could i have possibly done to make you act like this?”

your words hung heavy in the air, and for a moment, josh looked like he might crumble. his hands fidgeted in his pockets, his lips parted as if he wanted to respond, but the silence dragged on.

“say something, josh!” you pleaded, the tears now streaming down your face. “anything. just tell me why you’ve been acting like this, because i can’t keep doing this. i can’t keep feeling like i’m walking into a fight every time i’m near you!”

josh took a hesitant step toward you, his brows furrowed in anguish. “i didn’t mean to ruin anything,” he said, his voice quiet and unsteady. “i just–”

“just what?” you interrupted, your voice trembling as you met his gaze. “do you even care how much this has hurt me? how hard it’s been trying to enjoy any of this while you go out of your way to make it miserable?”

he stared at you, his jaw clenching as his eyes searched yours, but he didn’t answer. the silence stung worse than anything he could’ve said, and it tore you apart.

“you know what?” you said, your voice breaking into a whisper. “forget it. i’m seriously done trying to figure you out, have a nice life, josh.”

with that, you turned and walked out of the lodge, leaving him standing there, the tension between you heavier than ever before.

after everything that went down at the lodge, breaking things off with derek was inevitable. it wasn’t dramatic or messy. if anything, it was almost too simple. the two of you mutually agreed it was for the best, leaving no lingering bitterness between you. but that didn’t stop the guilt from eating at you.

you felt terrible for dragging him up there in the first place. what had you been thinking? inviting someone you barely knew into such an intimate, emotionally charged space? you should’ve realised it was a bad idea from the start, but at the time, it had seemed like a good idea. a way to ignore the feelings you didn’t want to face.

but in the days after returning home, the weight of it all became too much. the memories of the trip. the tension, the arguments, josh’s lingering silence, played on a loop in your mind. it wasn’t just derek’s presence that had made things unravel. you couldn’t deny your own part in it.

to avoid dealing with it, you buried yourself in your school work. early mornings bled into late nights spent with your nose in textbooks, typing out assignments until your eyes blurred from exhaustion. it was easier to drown in deadlines and projects than to confront everything that stayed in the back of your mind.

your friends had noticed the change in you. they texted and called, checking in to make sure you were okay, and you answered them. most of them, anyway. you reassured them with simple responses, making excuses for why you hadn’t been in touch more. 

telling them you were just busy with school, just needed some time to yourself. but the truth was, you didn’t know what to say, and the idea of explaining everything felt like too much to deal with.

as the days went by, the silence grew. every time your phone buzzed, you had the urge to reach out. to tell the people who were closest to you what you were feeling, to spill all the frustration, guilt, and confusion that had piled up inside of you since the trip. but you kept it all in.

you’d muted the washington's messages, the endless string of “are you okay?” texts too much to handle. it wasn’t that you didn’t appreciate their concern, you did, but you knew that the moment you tried to talk about it, you’d break. you weren’t ready for that.

one night, as the weight of everything seemed to crash down on you, you were sitting on your couch, mindlessly scrolling through your phone, when there came a knock at the door. you didn’t immediately jump up. your first thought was that it was just another mistake. a package, maybe, or a misdelivered letter..

but the knock came again, more persistent this time.

you rose to your feet cautiously, searching your mind for any reason someone might be here. but no matter how hard you tried to piece it together, you weren’t expecting anyone, especially at a time like this.

you opened the door, and there josh stood, with his shoulders slightly hunched, his expression unreadable. your breath hitching at the sight of him..

he looked different. a little worn, like he hadn't been sleeping. his eyes met yours for a long moment, and you could see the hesitation in them.

“hey,” josh speaks quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. his hands were shoved deep into his pockets, his body posture defensive yet somehow vulnerable. “can we talk?”

your heart thudded in your chest. you didn’t know what to say. part of you wanted to slam the door and walk away from all of it. from this entire mess. but another part of you, the part you’d been ignoring for weeks now, knew you couldn’t just keep avoiding him.

you stepped aside wordlessly, your throat tight, he hesitated for a second before entering.

neither of you said a word at first, the silence deafening between you. when josh finally spoke, his voice was rough, as though he’d been holding back for longer than he cared to admit.

“i’ve been a mess,” josh admitted, his hand running through his hair in frustration. he glanced at you, his eyes searching for any kind of reaction, as if trying to gauge how much damage had been done. 

“i didn’t... i didn’t know how to fix it. i didn’t know how to fix what i fucked up between us.”

“josh, you can’t just show up like this,” you said, your voice quieter than you meant for it to be. “you can’t just come here and expect everything to be okay.”

“i know,” he said, his voice thick with regret. “i don’t expect it to be okay. i just... i couldn’t leave it like this. i wanted to explain what happened. why i acted like i did.”

you closed your eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath. you weren’t sure what you were expecting from this, but it wasn’t a clean resolution. there were too many things unsaid, too much left to work through. still, his presence here, his willingness to face what had been left in the air, meant something. 

even if you didn’t know what it meant yet.

“i don’t even know where to start,” you said, frustration rising in your voice. “why did you push me away, josh? i don’t understand. i’ve only ever been good to you, why wasn’t that enough?”

josh let out a shaky breath, his hands falling to his sides. “because it was easier to pretend i didn’t care than to deal with how much i actually do,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. “you were always there for me, and i didn’t know how to handle that. i didn’t think i deserved it. so, i pushed you away, acted like it didn’t matter—like you didn’t matter—because i was scared of what it meant if you did.”

“do you not see how this has made me feel? no matter how hard i tried, nothing was ever good enough for you. i was never good enough.” your eyes are stuck firmly on the ground.

josh’s face fell, and for a moment, he looked completely undone. “that’s not true,” he said quickly, his voice raw. “you were always good enough—more than good enough. i was the one who wasn’t. i didn’t know how to let you in because... because i didn’t think i could be what you deserved.”

you shook your head, anger and hurt twisting in your chest. “so instead of trying, you just shut me out? you made me feel like i was wasting my time, like i didn’t matter.”

“i know,” he said, his voice breaking. “i know i hurt you, and i hate myself for it. i hate that i made you feel that way. but the truth is, you’re the only thing that’s ever made me feel like maybe i wasn’t completely falling apart. and i didn’t know how to handle that, either.”

his words hung in the air, heavy and vulnerable, but they didn’t erase the pain he’d caused. “you can’t just say that and expect me to forgive you,” you said, your voice trembling. “you don’t get to hurt me and then turn around and admit your feelings like it makes everything okay.”

“i’m not asking for forgiveness,” josh said quietly, stepping closer, his eyes locked on yours. “i’m asking for a chance to prove i’m not that guy anymore. to prove that you mean more to me than i ever let you see.”

"where we stand?" you shot back, your voice unsteady. "we’re standing in the mess you made, josh, and i’m the one who’s been left to clean it up."

josh’s voice rose as he stepped forward, his frustration finally breaking through. “you think i don’t know what i did to you? you think i don’t lie awake every night wishing i could take it back?”

you stood your ground, stepping closer. “what about me, josh? do you have any idea how it felt to keep reaching out, only for you to shut me out over and over? i tried, and it felt like you didn’t even care.”

his jaw clenched, his hand running through his hair as he closed the gap between you. “i didn’t know how to deal with anything! i was falling apart, and instead of dragging you down with me, i thought i was doing the right thing by pushing you away!”

“that wasn’t your call to make!” you shot back, your voice shaking with anger. “you don’t get to decide what’s best for me, josh! i needed you, and all you did was make me feel like i wasn’t enough!”

his eyes flashed, his breath shallow as he took another step forward. “you weren’t the problem! i was! i didn’t know how to let you in– i was scared! you deserve someone better, someone who didn’t treat you like crap because he couldn’t figure out his own shit!”

“and yet, i stayed!” you yelled, your face now inches from his. “i stayed, josh! i kept trying, no matter how much you pushed me away! do you even realise how much that hurt? how much it took out of me to keep fighting for someone who didn’t want to fight for me?”

he was so close now that you could feel the heat radiating off him, his voice trembling as he spoke. “i wanted to fight for you, i did. i just didn’t know how. i didn’t know how to be enough for you, and instead of trying, i ran like a coward. i fucked up, okay? i fucked up, and i hate myself for it.”

your chest was heaving, the intensity between you almost suffocating. “and what am i supposed to do with that, josh? what do you want me to say? that it’s okay? that it doesn’t matter?”

“no,” he speaks quietly. “i don’t want you to say it’s okay. i want you to know that i’m here now, ready to fight for you if you’ll let me. but if you can’t... if it’s too late, then i’ll take that too. just... tell me where we stand.”

the silence that followed was deafening, as you both waited for what would come next.

“and what’s your excuse for the way you treated derek, huh?”

josh’s eyes darkened, his frustration boiling over. “derek?” he repeated, his tone sharp. “yeah, let’s talk about him. let’s talk about how he couldn’t mind his own damn business for five seconds.”

your brow furrowed, anger rising in your chest. “what are you even talking about? derek was nothing but sweet. he didn’t do anything to you, josh.”

josh took another step closer, his jaw tightening. “didn’t do anything? are you serious? he was always acting like he’s better than me, like he knows what’s best for you, for everyone!”

you crossed your arms, refusing to back down. “you mean he was looking out for me? god forbid someone actually gives a damn and calls you out when you’re being a jerk!”

josh let out a bitter laugh, his frustration spilling out in waves. “looking out for you? no, he was trying to play the hero. always in your ear, always making himself the good guy. don’t think i didn’t notice the way he acted around you, like he was just waiting for me to screw up so he could swoop in!”

“that’s insane,” you snapped, stepping closer until you were nearly toe to toe with him. “derek wasn’t trying to replace you, josh. he was doing nothing wrong! you had to nitpick every little thing he did and turn it into some kind of competition!”

josh’s eyes flared with emotion, his voice rising. “maybe i didn’t want him there, okay? maybe i couldn’t stand the thought of him getting closer to you than i was. i already felt like i was losing you, and every time he opened his mouth, it just made it worse!”

“you weren’t losing me, josh,” you said, your voice trembling with both anger and hurt. “but you sure as hell are now. because instead of letting me in, instead of trusting me, you let your jealousy control everything. you treated him like shit, and you pushed me away. and for what? to protect your pride?”

josh’s voice cracked as he stepped even closer, his face inches from yours. “no, to protect you! i didn’t know how to let you see me falling apart. i didn’t know how to handle it, so yeah, i acted like an ass. but you’ve got it all wrong if you think it was about pride. it was about you– it’s always been about you.”

his words echo in your mind as you stare at him, trying to process the mess between you both. 

both of your breaths were shallow, hurried, the tension thick enough to drown in. his eyes flickered between yours and your lips, and you could feel the heat radiating off him as if the air itself was conspiring to close the gap.

josh’s voice was low, almost desperate, as he finally broke the silence. “how could i tell you how much i’ve longed for you? without making a complete idiot of myself?”

you held his focus, the words hitting you harder than you expected, but you weren’t going to let him off that easily. your lips curved into a faint, defiant smile as you whispered, “looks like you’ve already done that.”

his breath hitched, a flicker of surprise and something deeper flashing in his eyes, every inch of space narrowing as if pulled by gravity, daring one of you to cross it.

the seconds dragged on, the tension between you unbearable, as you both stood there. your hearts were racing, breaths shallow.

josh’s eyes flickered to your lips, then back to your eyes. there was so much unspoken between you. so much hurt, so much yearning, it all hung in the air, pulling you closer.

his chest rose and fell with every breath, his fingers still gripping your wrist, but his touch was different now, gentler, your own heart was pounding in your ears, every inch of you screaming to cross that line, to close the gap between you, but something, something, kept you both frozen.

josh’s face softened, his eyes dark with something deeper, more intense. he licked his lips, breath trembling slightly.

“you have no idea how badly i’ve wanted this,” he rasped, the words low, rough, full of that simmering desire that had been building between you.

before you could respond, before the weight of your thoughts could take over, josh closed the distance. his lips crashed against yours, a kiss so intense it knocked the breath out of you. it was like everything was finally set loose. all of the frustration, the longing, the anger. all of it poured into that one desperate, searing kiss. his hands moved, one gripping your waist, pulling you closer, while the other threaded into your hair, his fingers tangling desperately, almost painfully, as if he couldn’t bear the space between you any longer.

your fingers curled into his shirt, holding him there, refusing to let the moment end, feeling the rapid beat of his heart beneath your fingers. there was nothing tentative about this kiss, it was hungry, impatient, as if both of you were desperate to make up for all the time you had wasted, all the things you had never said, never done.

his hands squeezed at your waist, pulling you impossibly closer.

your fingers curled into his shirt, holding him there, refusing to let the moment end. his lips moved against yours with an urgency that matched your own, the kiss deepening with each passing second.

when you finally pulled apart, gasping for air, his forehead rested against yours. his eyes searched yours, filled with something that looked a lot like vulnerability.

“i’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice hoarse and barely audible. “for everything.”

you shook your head, your hands still gripping his shirt as if letting go wasn’t an option. “you don’t have to say anything,” you murmured, “just don’t push me away again.”

josh’s jaw tightened as he cupped your face in his hands, his thumb brushing against your cheek. “i won’t. i swear, i won’t.”

his hand slid to the back of your neck, gently pulling you back in for a kiss. this one softer, quieter, as if testing the waters. when he pulled back, his thumb brushed over your lip, and he gave a small, almost nervous smile.

“i’m not perfect,” he said quietly, his voice steadying with each word. “but i’ll do better. i swear i will.”

you nodded, your chest feeling lighter. “you better.”

josh's lips curved into a small, relieved smile, and for the first time in a long while, 

it felt like you were both on the same page.

comments and reblogs are appreciated ˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗ @jenepleurepasbaby

© ruewrote 2024.

[shurisgf]

WHERE WERE YOU IN THE MORNING? — A. ARETAS ✩

ೃ⁀➷ SUMMARY; in which , you armando spend a slow morning together for the first time in a while. | FEAT. Armando Aretas x POC!fem!reader | TROPE established relationship | FORMAT drabble | GENRE fluff | WARNINGS none | NOTES what i would giveeee just to spend one morning with himmm 😫

🎧 for an enhanced experience , listen to Where Were You in the Morning — Shawn Mendes

9:00 AM

The warm sunlight filled the bedroom as your eyes fluttered open, your head still lying on Armando’s chest. His arms were wrapped around your torso as one of his hands rubbed your back gently, providing you comfort. You moved your head slightly, trying not to wake up your sleepy boyfriend, and placed a gentle kiss on his collarbone. You hummed softly, snuggling your head back into the place it originally was. You loved spending mornings together at your place, the two of you hardly got to wake up together anymore because of Armando’s busy schedule now that he was working alongside his dad. So you cherished every moment like this. He began to stir out of his sleep, and placed a gentle kiss on the top of your head. “Buenos días, mamá.” He mumbled in that sleepy voice of his, letting you know that he was awake. “Good morning baby, I didn’t mean to wake you.” You lovingly caressed his chest in an attempt to coax him back to sleep. He hummed quietly, still rubbing your back with his hands. The two of you stayed like this for a while, enjoying the quiet hum of the ac, the birds outside, the pure peace of it all. The two of you weren’t really morning people, so you appreciated the silence. Being in his arms was your favorite place, it made you feel content in knowing that he was yours, and you were his. “¿Cómo has dormido?” His drowsy voice filled the silent room, “The best I’ve slept in a while, actually.” He chuckled quietly, “And why’s that?” He hummed, “Because I got to sleep with you.” You smiled to yourself, getting up from the position you were lying in and moving to sit on top of him so you were now looking down at him, resting your hands on his chest. His hands paused, waiting for you to get comfortable, then placing them on your ass, rubbing it slowly. “I’m gonna go shower.” You mumbled and placed a soft peck to his lips before getting off of him and walking towards the bathroom. “Such a tease,” he mumbled staring at you as you left the room, causing a light chuckle to escape your lips.

GLOSSARY !

Buenos días, mamá. — Good morning, mama.

¿Cómo has dormido? — How’d you sleep?

©2024 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED — SHURI'S GF. Do not modify, repost, plagiarize, translate or claim any work posted on this blog without my permission !

TAGLIST; @ghettogirly

reblogs are greatly appreciated !

[marie-swriting]

Les Souvenirs De Notre Relation - Shawn Mendes

Masterlist

Superache Masterlist

Résumé: Tu commences enfin à te remettre de ta relation avec Shawn, mais il décide de venir chez toi au milieu de la nuit.

Warnings : angst, fin triste, Shawn est bourré, dites-moi si j'en ai loupés d'autres.

Nombre de mots : 1.7k

Version Wattpad

Version anglaise sur Tumblr

Chanson qui m'a inspiré : Memories par Conan Gray

   La sonnette de chez toi te tire du lit. Tu papillonnes des yeux avant de les frotter et de regarder l'heure sur ton téléphone. Tu te demandes qui peut bien venir chez toi à deux heures du matin. Tu pousses un soupir d’exaspération avant de quitter ton lit et marcher jusqu'à ta porte. Tu regardes par le judas et vois Shawn, une expression triste sur son visage et ses cheveux mouillés par la pluie. Tu ne l'avais pas revu depuis deux mois, depuis votre séparation. Tu ignores pourquoi il est là. Tu hésites à lui ouvrir, craignant de faire une erreur. Après un débat intérieur, tu décides de lui laisser une chance. Après tout, il ne serait pas là, s’il n’avait pas une bonne raison. A peine tu ouvres la porte, Shawn entre en trombe dans ton appartement. Tu lèves les yeux au ciel et refermes derrière lui, reconsidérant déjà ta décision.

- Qu'est-ce que tu fais là ? lui demandes-tu alors qu'il reste debout dans ton salon.

- Je veux te parler, annonce-t-il en enlevant sa veste trempée et la posant sur le portemanteau.

- Il est deux heures du matin, Shawn.

- Je sais, mais j'en ai besoin, insiste Shawn et tu réalises que sa voix est légèrement différente.

- T'es bourré ?

- Non, j'ai juste bu un verre, nie-t-il, mais tu le connais.

- Écoute, dis ce que t'as à dire rapidement, je dois me lever demain. Enfin, dans cinq heures.

- Je... Je veux qu'on soit ensemble à nouveau.

En entendant sa phrase, ton sommeil quitte totalement ton corps. Tu lèves tes sourcils et tu espères avoir mal compris. Tu te masses les tempes en fermant les yeux pendant une seconde. Quand tu le regardes à nouveau, tu vois à son visage qu’il est sérieux.

- C'est toi qui as voulu qu'on se sépare, rétorques-tu avant de tripoter ton pendentif papillon pendant à ton cou.

- Je sais et je le regrette.

- C'est un peu trop tard maintenant.

     Il ne t'écoute pas et commence à marcher dans ton salon, regardant les alentours. Ses yeux sont remplis de nostalgie, il se remémore des moments de votre relation au fur et à mesure de ses pas. Tu le regardes de loin, ignorant comment agir. Son état d’ébriété ne t’aide pas à lui faire prendre conscience de la situation. A un moment, il s'arrête et il prend un objet sur ta table de salon. Même si tu ne le vois pas, tu devines ce qu'il a pris. Tu trottines vers lui et lui enlèves le livre des mains.

- Tu as encore notre album photo ? demande-t-il, un sourire idiot sur le visage. Je pensais que tu l'aurais jeté.

- Ce soir, c’était la première fois que je le regardais depuis notre séparation, en fait.

- Donc, tu l'admets, ce qu'on avait te manque aussi.

- Je n'ai jamais dit ça, affirmes-tu en serrant un peu plus l'album contre toi.

- Alors pourquoi tu l'as ressorti après tout ce temps ?

- Je ne sais pas vraiment. Je… Je suppose que je voulais voir si je pouvais regarder une photo de nous sans fondre en larmes, expliques-tu et avant qu’il puisse sourire, tu te dépêches de préciser : et je le peux. 

      Shawn ne dit rien, pas convaincu par ta réponse. Il reprend sa visite et se dirige vers ta cuisine. Il se saisit d'un verre d'eau. Il le boit d'une traite avant de le mettre dans ton lave-vaisselle. Tu le rejoins, de plus en plus agacée par son comportement. Tu voudrais qu’il te laisse enfin tranquille, surtout que tu as besoin de te reposer. Tu croises tes bras sur ta poitrine avant de prend un ton déterminé :

- Pourquoi tu es là, Shawn ?

- Je te l'ai dit, je veux qu'on se remette ensemble. Je n'aurais jamais dû te laisser partir. J'ai été idiot.

- Tu l'as voulu car avec la distance et ton job, c’était trop compliqué.

- Mais toi, tu ne le voulais pas, rétorque-t-il et tu évites son regard pendant une seconde. Tu voulais qu’on trouve une solution pour que ça fonctionne. Et j'étais tellement persuadé d'avoir raison que je n'ai pas écouté tes arguments, comme un abruti. J'aurais dû. Je ne veux pas te perdre. Sans toi, je ne suis rien. S’il te plaît, laisse-moi réparer ma connerie, supplie-t-il en tentant de prendre ta main.

- Shawn, arrête, ordonnes-tu en reculant d’un pas. Je commence enfin à avancer, je n'ai pas besoin de t'entendre dire ça.

- Mais, au fond de toi, tu m'aimes encore.

- Bien sûr, déclares-tu comme une évidence. Tu auras toujours une place dans mon cœur, mais ça ne veut pas dire qu'on doit être à nouveau ensemble.

- Pourquoi pas ?

- L'amour ne suffit pas toujours. Ça n'a pas marché une fois, la deuxième fois ne sera pas meilleure. Crois-moi, je n'ai pas arrêté d’y penser ces deux derniers mois. J'ai imaginé tous les scénarios et il n'y a pas d'issue heureuse pour nous. Si tu n’avais pas rompu, on l’aurait fait plus tard. On commençait à tellement s’éloigner que notre relation allait avoir une fin à un moment ou à un autre.

- On pourrait rester amis, alors ? Je veux toujours faire partie de ta vie, propose-t-il avec une once d’espoir et tu te retiens de céder. 

- On ne peut pas. Ça ne serait pas bon, car on s'empêcherait d'avancer avec quelqu'un d'autre. C'est mieux si on ne se parle plus, lui dis-tu, tes mains jouant avec la chaîne de ton collier.

- Y/N, s'il te plait.

- Mon Dieu, écoute-moi pour une fois dans ta vie ! t'emportes-tu en passant ta main sur ton visage. Je ne veux pas. J'étais très bien avec juste les souvenirs de notre relation. Certes quand tu m'as quitté, j’étais dévastée et je t'en ai voulu. Je pensais même que j'aurais toujours des souvenirs de toi où je te détesterais, mais j'ai réalisé que tu avais raison depuis le début. J'ai des bons souvenirs de toi, de nous et tu es en train de tout ruiner. Alors, arrête. Tu étais très bien quand tu étais juste dans ma mémoire. Je n'avais pas besoin de te voir ce soir, surtout si c’était pour que tu dises ça. J'aurai toujours de l'affection pour toi, mais c'est fini.

      Shawn hoche simplement la tête, ses yeux remplis de larmes alors que tu respires fortement. Tu sais que tu viens de lui briser le cœur, mais tu dois protéger le tien. Tu as besoin d'être claire avec lui. Tu n'aimes pas être la cause de sa souffrance, mais tu n'as pas d'autre choix. Il ne te répond pas, comprenant que c'est peine perdue. Il quitte la pièce alors que tu reprends tes esprits. Tu inspires plusieurs fois avant de retrouver Shawn au salon, endormi sur ton canapé. Frustrée, tu pousses un soupir, mais décides de ne pas le réveiller. Son ébriété ne te permettra de le faire partir de chez toi facilement et tu ne veux pas qu'il conduise et cause un accident.

     Tu lui laisses un verre d'eau avec un médicament avant de prendre une couverture. En la posant sur lui, Shawn ouvre les yeux pendant un instant. Il te regarde pencher au-dessus de lui, ses yeux tombent sur ton collier et il sourit niaisement.

- Tu le portes toujours. 

Tu n’as pas le temps d’ouvrir la bouche, car il se rendort aussitôt. Tu le regardes une dernière fois et te rends dans ta chambre. Tu tournes un peu dans ton lit, repassant ta discussion avec Shawn dans ta tête et essuyant les quelques larmes sur tes joues avant de pouvoir t'endormir.

      Quand ton réveil sonne trois heures plus tard, tu en veux à Shawn d'avoir coupé ton sommeil. Tu as du mal à quitter tes draps, mais tu te forces à te préparer pour ton travail. Quand tu es prête, tu te rends dans le salon après avoir pris un carton qui traînait dans ton placard depuis deux mois. Tu le poses à côté du canapé et secoues Shawn. Il lui faut une minute pour émerger. Quand il te voit, il ne peut empêcher un sourire de prendre place sur son visage. Pour lui, il est de retour au début de votre relation, où tout allait bien, où vous étiez heureux. Mais ton expression neutre le ramène vite à la réalité. Il s'assoit avant de prendre le verre et le médicament qu'il vient de voir. Quand il a fini, il se met debout, face à toi. Tu pointes le carton avant de prendre la parole :

- Ce sont tes affaires. Je crois qu'il y a un manteau, des livres et des CD. Je n’avais pas pu te les donner avant, informes-tu et il reste mutique. Tu peux les reprendre, insistes-tu.

- Tu ne rigolais pas quand tu disais que tu voulais que notre relation reste des souvenirs, dit Shawn en rigolant pour cacher sa douleur.

- Si je veux avancer, je n'ai pas le choix. Oh, il y a ça aussi, dis-tu en défaisant ton collier.

- Non, Y/N, tu peux le garder. Il t'appartient, à toi et seulement à toi.

- Je sais, mais je sens que tant que je l'aurai, je ne pourrai jamais vraiment faire le deuil de notre histoire et je ne veux pas le jeter, alors prends-le, précises-tu en lui tendant le bijou.

- Si c'est ce que tu veux, murmure-t-il en le prenant.

     Shawn regarde le collier, admirant le papillon argenté. Votre tentative de premier baiser avait été interrompue par l'apparition de l'insecte avec de magnifiques ailes bleues. Vous aviez rigolé avant de pouvoir vous embrasser réellement. Le papillon est vite devenu votre symbole. Tu aimes ce collier. Tu as pour habitude de toujours le toucher quand tu ressens une émotion négative. Mais tu ne peux pas continuer à le porter.

      Shawn le range dans le carton, en faisant attention. Il se saisit de la boîte avant de marcher jusqu'à la porte. Tu la lui ouvres et il commence à partir, la tête baissée. Tu t'apprêtes à refermer la porte quand il se retourne une dernière fois.

- Je suis désolé pour hier soir. Je n'aurais pas dû venir. Tu as raison, avoue-t-il avant de prendre une grande inspiration : Toi aussi, tu auras toujours une place dans mon cœur. Je t'aime.

    Tu aimerais le lui dire en retour, mais les mots semblent bloqués dans ta gorge, car ce n'est pas la chose à dire. Au fond de toi, tu le sais. Alors, tu lui lances un sourire triste avant de fermer la porte, symbolisant la fin du chapitre de ton histoire avec Shawn.

Masterlist

Superache Masterlist

{Ceci est mon blog secondaire donc je répondrai aux commentaires sous le pseudo @marie-sworld}

[viscaaelbarcaaa]

WITHOUT YOUR KISSES I’LL BE NEEDING STITCHES

Warnings: fluff, clingy Hector, spanish nicknames

Pairing: fem!reader x bf!HectorFort

💙❤️💙❤️💙❤️💙❤️💙❤️💙

hctorforrt_

barcelona, spain

❤️💬⌫

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••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

You’re cooking dinner, it’s a nice cozy evening, rain tapping on your windows, you thought it couldn’t get any better, until you heard the front door creak open.

Two strong hands wrap around your waist,his head burying into the crook of your neck, soft black curls tickle your skin. It’s your boyfriend Hector Fort who just came back from Paris because of football.

You knew dating a footballer would mean he wouldn’t be here half the time but Hector makes sure that the time you two have together is spent well

“I missed you, amar” (love) he murmured against your shoulder and hugged your waist tighter

You giggle at his clingy voice and actions.

“What are you making, cariño?” (sweetheart) he asked curiously looking at the pan your cooking in.

“Just some pasta” you answer

Hector can’t help himself but admire your beauty, he claims your the most gorgeous and majestic woman he’s ever seen. Admiring your features, staring at you like he saw the most important thing in the world.

“You’re staring, Fort” you snap him out of his little daydreaming with a giggle

He missed the sound of your giggles, your voice, your touch, your cooking, he missed you, badly.

Hector let go off you and sat down at the table, impatiently whining like a little kid when is dinner gonna be ready.

You place the pan with food on the table. Hector immediately digs in complimenting your cooking “That’s delicious!” He says.

“Slow down Hector” you laugh

You sit beside him, engaging in a conversation with him. He tells you every detail that happened in Paris, every detail about the football game.

You two finish your meals. You place the dishes in the dishwasher, while Hector goes take a shower

While he showers, you take care of the laundry, washing his dirty and sweaty jersey

As you finish you settle on the couch with a bunch of yours and Hectors favourite snacks

The water turns off and Hector walks to the living room in his pj pants only and lay beside you, his head on your lap

Your hand immediately going to his soft black curls, massaging his scalp

He hums with the movement of your fingers, while you put on a movie to watch

Before the movie starts, Hectors eyes are already closed, his breathing slowed, his mind blank.

THE END!

Authors note: hope you liked it, i apologise for any grammar issues, wrong spelling.

English is not my first language and its also my first time writing

[galacticseonghwa]

SERÁ UNA NOCHE INOLVIDABLE - chenle smau

your friends were all you needed, they were your brothers from another mother they loved to say. but that all went to shit after ricky dragged you to one of his motorbike sprints.

who are you to say no when ricky's opponent claws his way into your inner circle and present himself as your dream man?

biker!chenle x fem!reader

INCLUDES — fluff, crack, bickering between y/n & chenle, smut (eventual), a slow(ish)burn, swearing

AUTHORS NOTE — this is my first time writing a smau, but i'm saur excited !! i’m also VERY bad at spelling lol

STATUS — ongoing

PLAYLIST — spotify

TAGLIST — open !

SCHEDULE - i'll try to post at least once or twice a week, but there's no promises as i'm currently studying and working sigh.

y/n profiles || chenle profiles

1 ) you're always number one xx

2 ) she’s OUR gf now

3 ) stole your rich lingo

4 ) chat is this real?

5 ) my daughter is sad

6 ) you guys had a gay kiss

7 ) you okay, mama?

8 ) i’m faint, give me a second

9 ) we’ve lost him to the system

10 ) #toptenanimebetrayals

11 ) and fly to shanghai

12 ) pouri ahau

13 ) i need jaemin

14 ) because i love you?

15 ) my angel baby

16 ) lol bye

17 ) pack it up shawn mendes

TBD

[cher-rei]

He takes care of you when you’re sick and over work from having work over time all week. He’s there for you

lovesick– jamal musiala [ J.M ]

you're my sunlight on a rainy day [305– shawn mendes]

pairing: jamal musiala x fem!reader

summary: being sick isn't so bad when you have jamal by your side.

genre(s): f.l.u.f.f and comfort

[w.c: 1.9k] masterlist

notes: I have risen!!!

jamal was supposed to be in training by now, preparing for his match in a few days. but instead, he found himself sitting beside you in bed, staring at you with a pout as you bundled up further into your blankets.

the sight of your sunken eyes and flushed face made his heart ache enough to block out your desperate pleas for him to leave for practice. when you woke up it already took him ten minutes to convince you to cancel on your lectures today, but this was plainly burdensome.

you'd been pushing yourself a lot harder than you'd like to admit these past few weeks. late-night study sessions, early morning lectures, and your part time job had completely ruined you. but you didn't think that it would end up like this, it was just much as a surprise to you.

you'd never experience more than aching muscles and a migraine due to overexertion but your boyfriend was having none of it. he was sick and tired of seeing you drag yourself through the front door in the evening and barely manage to eat before bed. until now.

you were paying the price, fighting back your supper from the night before and a sniffling and coughing mess. your eyes being enough of a telltale that your body was giving up on you. jamal tried to convince you to take it easy, but you insisted on soldiering on.

that was when he took matters into his own hands and declared himself your personal nurse for the day— or however long you needed.

"jamal, please just go to practice," you urged your boyfriend and gently nudged his hand away. "I'll be fine I promise."

your retort was enough to make him laugh but he was smarter than that. "and leave you alone so that you can drag yourself into the lounge and study?" he quirked a challenging brow and got up from the bed, the look on your face telling him all he needed to know. "yeah, that's what I thought."

an irritated groan left your lips and you flopped back down onto your pillow, the harsh movement sending your head into a spiral as your vision blurred further. an unfamiliar churn in your stomach caused you to sit back up, one hand on your stomach and the other on your forehead.

in no time jamal was back— his training kit off and instead dressed in a pair of sweats and a plain t-shirt. a worried look was plastered on his face and he bent down to look you in the eye, the rim of tears forming causing him to place a gentle kiss on your forehead.

"come on baby, let's get you cleaned up, yeah?" you took his hand as he led you to the bathroom where he ran you a hot bath, the comforting overflow of bubbles sending a feeling of warmth through your chest.

you were more likely to cry because of how thoughtful he was than your actual sickness. jamal had always been the one to make everything feel lighter, and he knew exactly how to ease your mind and drown your sickness and discomfort with his heartwarming laugh.

he was gentle in all he did— the way he soothingly massaged your shoulders as you sat in the bath, overcome with emotions at the touch of his hands on your back and hair as he massaged the shampoo in.

it made you forget. instead, you listened to your boyfriend talk about something that happened at practice the day before and the dream that he had about you, which had him mentally cursing his alarm clock for waking him up. for most it was difficult, but jamal could easily draw a laugh from your lips.

"am I getting paid for this?" he asked with a teasing smile, looking at your reflection in your vanity mirror as he dried your hair, his fingers gently tugging at your strands.

your nose scrunched at the question, a distasteful hum leaving your lips. "you're hilarious. it's been 3 hours, don't push it."

he simply shrugged and set the hairdryer down, letting you have the freedom to tie your hair up while he packed everything away. "I could have been on my 4th drill by now, I have a job you know?"

you snapped your head to look at him, your jaw dropped in disbelief. "you willingly stayed out today, don't even try this with me right now."

with an unsure hum he placed the last pillow on your shared bed. "technically, you gaslit me because why would I willingly want to stay at home with my girlfriend that i would literally die for?"

your heart skipped a beat at his teasing quip, watching as he walked up to you with his arms open for a hug. with no objection, you got up and melted into his embrace that had a content sigh heaving from your chest.

"stop being extra," you said, muffled into his chest.

"then stop getting sick, you idiot."

the rest of the day jamal was attentive as ever to the point where he wouldn't even let you lift a finger. he made sure you were comfortable on the sofa cuddled up to his side, his fingers gently playing with your hair and lulling you to sleep.

his attention was fixed on the television until he was sure that you were out cold. he took a moment to appreciate how cute you looked on his chest, your exhaustion showing in the way that you lightly snored. with a smile placed a soft kiss to your forehead and carefully got up.

he tucked you in further before leaving the house to head to the pharmacy for some medication and locked the door behind him. the second he stepped out into the driveway he was hit with a gush of wind that sent a chill through his body.

jamal lifted his head to look at the sky that was overwhelmed with dark grey clouds which meant that it was probably going to rain soon. not wanting to waste any time he made a beeline for the pharmacy in hopes that he'd beat the rain home.

unfortunately, that was not the case and due to the traffic to and from the pharmacy and the fact that there was no parking nearby the store he was drenched from head to toe. the wind fought him but he prevailed and made it back home before you woke up.

you didn't stay asleep long though and weren't too happy to find out that your boyfriend wasn't beside you on the sofa. you also happened to notice the droplets of water on the floor leading up to your bedroom.

"jamal?" you called out and wrapped the blanket tighter around your shoulders, skillfully dodging the wet spots on the stairs as you called out to your boyfriend who eventually responded.

you were met with the sight of jamal standing in the middle of your bedroom with his shirt off suggesting that he just got.out of the shower. "did you go out in the rain?"

your boyfriend stood silent for a moment, his lips parted as he averted his gaze. "I mean not technically." he shrugged his shoulders, hoping that you weren't mad at him. "it wasn't raining when I left."

"oh great, now you're going to be--" you stopped mid sentence to sneeze. "you're going to--" you sneezed again. not once. not twice. and definitely not thrice.

your body recoiled at the uncomfortable and violent force of the sneezes, jamal having nothing to do besides watch with an amused smile as he bit back his laughter.

when you were done with the fit of sneezes you stared at him blankly to recollect your composure.

"bless you, baby," he said with a cheeky smile. but the term of endearment didn't throw you off track and you were back to reprimanding him. jamal thought you were being dramatic and continued to get dressed, humming in agreement to your rambling.

"me being sick is one thing, but you?" you said and threw your hands into the air, the blanket flailing in the air. "you need to be healthy and you know better than to leave the house in the rain."

he took your hand and dragged you back downstairs to the kitchen. "it wasn't raining when I left, I told you." he looked back at you and you rolled your eyes, ready to protest. "my immune system is stronger than yours anyway."

he stopped in front of the kitchen island and put you on the counter with ease. "so please shut up." he unexpectedly pecked your lips, moving away to get the medicine before you could say anything.

"it's like you have a death wish!" you yelled in shock at the kiss.

jamal came back with a glass of water and a few tablets, handing them to you one by one and waiting until you drank them all. "as long as it's you, it's fine."

your face scrunched in slight disgust at the cheesy response. it was nothing new and it was a known fact that somehow jamal's cliché quips worked on you most of the time, but this was not one of them.

he pursed his lips in defeat at your reaction, getting the hint. "not the one?"

you shook your head and wrapped your arms around his shoulders. "and it never will be. never say that again please."

he stifled a laugh and pecked your cheek. "noted."

the two of you stayed like that for a while, just catching up and relaxing in each other's presence. you weren't too keen on having jamal this close to you, but you were grateful for his stubbornness because you would have lost your mind without any form of physical contact.

"yeah and then--"

jamal was cut off by himself by none other than his worst nightmare. the sneeze had you both silent for a moment until you slapped his arm hard enough that he flinched, a pout forming on his lips.

you covered your face with your hands, a sigh leaving your lips. "what did I say? this is why you should listen to me."

jamal tried to argue back that it was just the dust in the air but the sneezes that followed after didn't help his case in any way. but hey, at least he'd be at home with you for a few days. he wasn't complaing at all.

your head began to ache at the thought of being stuck at home with jamal for the next few days, not because you didn't want to be around him, but because you knew how needy he was when he was sick. there wasn't a second where you weren't attached at the hip.

you opened up the blanket around your shoulders and pulled him into the warmth of your embrace. "now you're sick because of me, great."

jamal burried his face into your neck and smiled, the feeling of his lips trailing gentle kisses making you shiver. "oh yeah, I'm sick alright." he lifted his head to look at you with a puppy-like smile. "lovesick."

"get out of my face right now, I swear jamal--"

"so I can't love my girlfriend now?? is that it?"

[fanficlolsblog]

WE DON’T TALK ANYMORE

back to my main masterlist

pairing: fem singer!reader x taylor swift

summary: falling in love with taylor swift felt like a whirlwind, but when the pressure of fame and her struggle with coming out grew too much, you broke up. as she tried to move on with travis kelce, you both admitted to missing each other, but her jealousy over your friendship with shawn mendes created tension. despite the distance, you both realized that your love story wasn’t over and that there was still hope for a future together.

warnings: contains themes of unrequited love, heartbreak, and emotional distress, struggles of coming out, complexities of a relationship affected by fame, jealousy and emotion turmoil.

a/n: i posted this on wattpad to, i would appreciate it if you would go check it out :) loversxoxoxo.

w/c: 2.1k+

you never thought that falling in love with taylor swift would feel like stepping into a whirlwind. the world had always seen taylor as a perfect fairytale princess—her songs echoing tales of love, heartbreak, and personal struggles. but for you, she was so much more than that. taylor was the girl who stole your heart with a smile that could light up a room and laughter that made everything feel okay. you shared stolen moments, whispered secrets, and a love that felt both exhilarating and terrifying.

the first time you and taylor kissed, it was in the dim light of her apartment, surrounded by the remnants of late-night songwriting. taylor had been nervous, her fingers fidgeting with the hem of her sweater. “are you sure about this?” she had asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

“i’ve never been more sure,” you replied, pulling her closer, your lips brushing together softly. that kiss marked the beginning of something beautiful, yet complicated.

as the months passed, you and taylor navigated your relationship in the shadows, always careful to keep your love hidden from the public eye. you found solace in private moments—lazy afternoons spent cuddled up watching movies, spontaneous road trips, and the quiet comfort of each other’s presence. taylor would often write songs inspired by your time together, her lyrics weaving the essence of your love into melodies that resonated deep within your heart.

but as your love blossomed, so did the pressures of fame. taylor felt the weight of expectations, the scrutiny of the media, and the fear of coming out. you understood her struggles, but as time went on, the walls between you grew thicker. it became clear that taylor wasn’t ready to embrace her bisexuality publicly. the more you tried to be patient, the more the silence between you grew.

“i just need time,” taylor would say, her eyes filled with uncertainty.

“how much time?” you would ask, frustration creeping into your voice. “i can’t keep hiding, taylor. i love you, and i want the world to know.”

the conversations turned into arguments, and the love that once felt so strong started to fray at the edges. it hurt you to see taylor struggle, but it also hurt to feel like your love was being treated as a secret, as if it were something to be ashamed of.

finally, you reached a breaking point. one night, as you sat on the balcony of taylor’s apartment, staring at the stars, you made the hardest decision. “i can’t do this anymore,” you said, tears in your eyes. “i can’t keep waiting for you to be ready. it’s tearing me apart.”

taylor looked at you, her expression a mix of shock and sadness. “please don’t say that. i love you, but—”

“but you’re not ready,” you interrupted, shaking your head. “i can’t keep pretending. it’s not fair to either of us.”

that night, you parted with heavy hearts, a silence stretching between you that felt insurmountable. you walked away, feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders, while taylor watched, knowing she had let go of something precious.

the weeks that followed were a blur for both of you. taylor tried to distract herself with her music, pouring her heart into her songs, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t escape the void you left behind. she heard whispers about a new romance with travis kelce, a handsome athlete who seemed to have everything figured out. it felt like a desperate attempt to move on, but taylor knew the truth—her heart still belonged to you.

on the other hand, you struggled to breathe without taylor’s laughter and warmth. seeing her with travis in the headlines was like a dagger to the heart. every time you scrolled through social media, you were met with photos of the two of them together, laughing, enjoying life, while you felt like a ghost in the background.

“i just heard you found the one you’ve been looking for,” you sang softly to yourself one evening, the ache of longing flooding your chest. “i wish I would have known that wasn’t me.”

you would lie awake at night, haunted by memories of taylor’s smile, the way her eyes sparkled when she was happy, and the warmth of her embrace. it was unbearable, knowing that she was moving on without you while you were still stuck in the past, replaying every moment you shared.

“why can’t I move on?” you wondered, staring at the ceiling, tears streaming down your cheeks. “why can’t I let her go?”

the loneliness was suffocating, and with each passing day, the world felt a little darker without taylor’s light. you wished for the courage to reach out, to tell her how you truly felt, but fear held you back. what if taylor was happy with travis? what if she had moved on completely?

the pain of seeing taylor with someone else was a constant reminder of what you had lost. every time you caught a glimpse of her in the tabloids, smiling next to travis, it felt like a cruel twist of fate. you couldn’t help but wonder if she ever thought about you, if she missed your late-night talks and your shared dreams.

one night, as you sat alone in your room, you picked up your phone and hesitated. what if you sent a message? would it hurt more to reach out, or would it provide the closure you desperately needed? finally, with shaking fingers, you typed out a simple message: i miss you.

after pressing send, anxiety washed over you. what if taylor didn’t feel the same? what if she was truly happy with travis? you couldn’t shake the feeling that it was too late, that your moment had passed.

but to your surprise, taylor responded almost immediately. i miss you too.

the floodgates opened, and soon you were exchanging messages late into the night, your words filled with longing and regret. it felt like old times, like you were reconnecting the pieces of a love that had been shattered.

despite the distance and the silence that had stretched between you, you realized that your love for taylor had never truly faded. it was still there, waiting, just beneath the surface. as you talked, hope began to blossom anew. maybe it wasn’t too late for you both. maybe love could find a way back.

in that moment, you understood that your story wasn’t over. the road ahead might be rocky, but you were willing to fight for the love that had once burned so brightly between you. you couldn’t forget about taylor, and perhaps, just maybe, she felt the same way.

the late-night messages between you and taylor flowed for weeks, reigniting feelings you thought were long buried. but the more you talked, the more you felt the weight of her new relationship with travis pressing down on you. you couldn’t shake the feeling that it was unfair to her, that being in constant contact with her would only complicate things more. you didn’t want to be the reason she felt guilty about her new life.

one night, as you sat on your bed strumming your guitar, you started writing a song. the lyrics spilled out of you like a torrent of emotions, reflecting your heartbreak, your longing, and the bitter truth that you and taylor had become strangers. we don’t talk anymore, you wrote, each line dripping with the pain of loss. it felt cathartic to put your feelings into words, but the more you wrote, the more you realized that this song was your goodbye.

you reached out to shawn mendes, a friend and fellow musician, hoping he could help you shape the song into something meaningful. when you asked, he didn’t hesitate. “of course, i’d love to help,” he replied with a supportive grin. “i know how much this means to you.”

together, you poured over the lyrics, crafting melodies and harmonies that captured the essence of your lost love. shawn’s presence brought comfort, and as you worked, you felt a sense of healing in creating something beautiful out of your pain. but deep down, a nagging guilt lingered in your mind. you were hanging out with another musician, and the thought made your heart heavy. you didn’t want to be the person who came between them, even if your connection with taylor was special.

as you finished the song, you decided it was time to take a step back from your conversations with taylor. you couldn’t bear the thought of being a temptation for her, so you quietly withdrew, letting the silence settle between you once more. it felt like a dagger to your heart, but you knew it was for the best.

when the song was ready, you released it, pouring all your emotions into the music video, which reflected your journey of love and loss. the haunting melody and poignant lyrics resonated with fans, and soon, it began to gain traction online.

but the moment you shared the song, taylor saw it. she scrolled through social media one afternoon, and her heart sank as she came across pictures of you and shawn hanging out. your smiles, your laughter, the undeniable chemistry—it all struck a nerve. jealousy burned inside her, igniting feelings she thought she had buried beneath her new relationship.

we don’t talk anymore played in the background as she watched video clips of you two, the lyrics echoing her pain. taylor felt a mix of emotions: anger, longing, and a deep sense of loss. how could you move on so easily when she was still reeling from the end of your relationship? she scrolled through your posts, her mind racing with thoughts of what could have been.

every time taylor saw you and shawn together, the jealousy swelled within her. she couldn’t shake the image of you laughing and sharing moments with someone else, and it hurt her more than she could admit. travis noticed her distraction, the way her smile faltered when he mentioned you in passing. “are you alright?” he asked one evening, concern etched on his face.

“of course,” taylor replied, forcing a fake smile. inside, her heart was breaking, and she struggled to hide her true feelings. deep down, she knew she wasn’t just jealous of your success; she missed you, the connection you shared, the intimacy that seemed irreplaceable.

as days turned into weeks, the silence between you and taylor grew heavier. she found herself staring at her phone, hoping for a message that never came. you had put up walls to protect her from guilt, but the absence of your voice left her feeling hollow. you had become a ghost in her life, and the ache of your absence gnawed at her.

taylor played the song over and over, the lyrics haunting her thoughts. it became her anthem of longing, a painful reminder of what she had lost and what could never be again. each time she sang along, she felt the tears sting her eyes, realizing how much she missed the sound of your laughter, the way your eyes lit up when you spoke about your dreams.

one night, after a particularly long day, taylor sat down with her guitar. she began to strum the chords that had become familiar to her, attempting to write her own song. but as she tried to find the words, all she could think about was you. the memories flooded back—your smile, your embrace, the way you understood her like no one else ever could.

“why can’t we just talk anymore?” she whispered into the silence, feeling the weight of her unspoken feelings.

as time passed, it became clear that neither of you could truly move on. you focused on your music, finding solace in your art, while taylor fought against the whirlwind of emotions that surrounded her. she missed you, and it hurt to know that you were trying to find happiness with someone else.

in that moment of realization, taylor understood that she had to make a choice. she couldn’t keep pretending that everything was okay. if she wanted to find peace, she needed to confront her feelings and, maybe, just maybe, reach out to you again.

but as she made that decision, she also knew it wouldn’t be easy. the lines had been drawn, and the world was watching. could she find the courage to step away from travis and follow her heart back to you? the journey ahead would be uncertain, but deep down, she felt a spark of hope that your love could be reignited. and for now, that was enough.