#shawn mendes x fem reader

[harrywavycurly]

Glitch: What Do You Mean?

Masterlist: Here

CW: Jealous Harry, manipulation (thanks Jeff), language, emotional immaturity (you were literally turned on less than three weeks ago so things are new for you), and some dramatic moments that could be called “causing a scene”.

A/N: It’s truly just so fun to write an unhinged Harry so I hope you enjoy and also I don’t think Shawn is anything like this it’s just for funsies. Enjoy the absolute drama that is this chapter.💓

Tag List: @alicivava @cosmicneptune @daphnesutton @valeriiyuhh @drewrry @obsessiveenthusiast @me-undiscovered @psicostyles @umadirectioner @styleswithaseaview @sunflower-tia @tulips4harry @gmikaelson @fangirl509east @howling-wolf97 @outofthisworl-d @namoreno @harryscherries28 @blckburd @harry2121 @cevans-winchester @prettygurl-2009 @maudie-duan @sassamanda77 @triski73 @mema10

Summary: When Harry sees you with someone else you have a hard time understanding why it makes him act the way he does💓

Harry hates going to events that require him to dress up and mingle with people he doesn’t know, it’s one of the major downsides to fame and it’s a giant reason why he’s enjoyed his time off for so long. Because in his mind, the music industry really doesn’t want anything to do with you if you don’t have anything to offer. So keeping out of the studio and having a life away from writing lyrics and chasing the melodies that are stuck in between passing thoughts in his head have done him a massive favor, it’s kept him out of the spotlight and off guest lists for parties such as the one he’s currently in the middle of. But famous or not Harry has always been one to rise to the occasion for important events in order to support the people he holds near and dear to him so of course when he got invited to a charity gala for a cause close to the heart of one of his bestfriends he was quick to RSVP, notably without checking the box for a plus one.

He is on his second leisurely lap around the event space, a massive ballroom of some upscale hotel that he can’t be bothered to remember the name of, when he thinks he sees someone he knows out of the corner of his eye. It’s the skirt of a gown that catches his attention, not being able to see anything else other than a few bright pink and orange flowers embroidered on a sheer white fabric before it disappears in the crowd. But a sense of something begins to stir deep down inside his chest, like he knows there’s only one person in the world that would be wearing a floral gown in a sea of stark black and the occasional red dresses but the odds of it being who he thinks are slim and while the universe may be on his side most of the time and he has been fortunate to be on the receiving end of its luck he knows tonight the luck of the universe has all but abandoned him. Because he gets a feeling that’s similar to a shiver that goes down his spine as he turns around at just the right moment and sees something that makes his blood turn to ice in his veins and his jaw to clench.

You’re standing there in a white floor length gown with a sheer lace overlay that has brightly embroidered flowers all over the skirt leaving the top half mostly white with the delicate lace creating a slightly more modest neckline and while Harry thinks you might actually be the most beautiful person he’s ever seen that’s not what draws his attention. It’s the person that’s standing next to you that earns his narrow eyed glare, the person with a hand on your waist as they stare down at you with a smile Harry knows is a playful smirk that clearly followed something cheekily said based on how your face has a faint blush to it and you bring your hand that’s not gripping the flute of champagne up to your face in an attempt to try and hide your embarrassment.

Normally Harry would just brush off the fact you’re here with someone, not caring at all what brought the two of you together let alone to a random charity event thrown by one of his close friends. Especially since Harry is trying to convince himself he doesn’t know you well enough to be bothered by any of that, considering he’s not sure if you’d even call him a friend at this point. But it’s who you’re with that changes everything for him, making him unable to just move on and go about his evening as if he never saw you because you’re with him.

Shawn fucking Mendes.

The one man he can’t stand for reasons even unknown to him, the man he swears does things just to get a rise out of him, the one person he has to actively hold himself back from smacking the silly little smile off his pretty little face, the man you just so happen to be giggling at as you place your hand on his arm. Honestly, of all the arms for you to be holding onto as you laugh at a joke Harry is sure isn’t even very funny and if it is then it’s one he stole from someone far more entertaining, of course it had to be Shawn’s.

It just further proves the feeling of the universe turning it’s back on Harry as he watches the two of laugh and whisper little things in each other’s ears as if you’ve known one another for years and suddenly Harry begins to wonder if maybe you have and that’s why he hasn’t ever seen you until recently. Because Jeff knows his distaste for the Canadian singer so it makes sense that he’d keep you tucked away in his contact list until he knew your entanglement or whatever it is that’s going on with you and Shawn was done with, but clearly Jeff made a mistake because by the looks of it your relationship with Shawn is anything but over.

If Harry was being honest with himself he’d admit how truly creepy he’s being as he watches you and Shawn from a relatively safe distance, but still close enough to hear your laugh filtering through the sounds of glasses clinking and muffled small talk between the other guests. Somehow the two of you have managed to be in the center of the room, near the bar and Harry finds himself slowly circling you as if you’re the center of his universe and he’s simply keeping himself in the comfort of your orbit. After a few laps that have him stopping for a few pointless conversations about things he has no interest in he gives up on trying to remain out of sight. And when he sees Shawn’s hand slide to your lower back as he helps you maneuver your way through the crowd Harry decides now is as good a time as ever to go a give you and your poor choice of a plus one a proper hello.

He gives a few people polite nods and tight lipped smiles as he makes his way towards you and it’s almost like you could sense he was near, a measly arms length away when you turn around and smile at him. It’s a smile that makes your eyes seem brighter as they get little crinkle in the corners and to top it off you raise your hand and wave at him. It almost knocks Harry off kilter for a moment having not expected such a warm greeting seeing as he’s the one who stormed off the last time he saw you in Jeff’s living room not even two days ago.

“There you are.” Your voice is like a soft melody he wants to put into a song that’s just for him and no one else so he can get lost in it while he listens to it over and over. “I was wondering when you’d come say hello.” Your words have a slight heat rising to Harry’s cheeks as he closes the small gap between the two of you so he’s now standing directly in front of you.

“Yeah Styles we saw you circling us like a shark in the water waiting for his time to strike.” Shawn’s voice makes Harry’s jaw tick as he slowly removes his gaze from yours so he can look at the tall annoying man to your left.

“Don’t flatter yourself Shawn I’d never waste my time on a little guppy like you.”

“You sure? I hear wasting time is all you like to do nowadays.”

“Hear about that while off not touring and just galavanting around in jungles and beaches huh?”

“Just shows how far and wide word travels when it’s about how boring Harry Styles has become.”

“Or it just shows how obsessed you are with me that you even manage to gossip about me while off trying to find yourself.” Harry doesn’t mean to go tit for tat with Shawn but he can’t seem to help himself, it brings a sick kind of joy to Harry knowing he can get a rise out of the normally very docile and charming young man. He ignores the glare the brown eyed boy is giving him as a slow smirk works its way onto his face as he raises an eyebrow at him. “How’s that going by the way? Figure out the meaning of life yet?” What Harry isn’t prepared for is how easily Shawn is able to brush off all the sarcasm that’s dripping from every word that leaves his mouth like rain dripping off the edge of an umbrella, as if it’s no concern to him because right now he has the upper hand seeing as you’re by his side and not Harry’s.

“You know,” Shawn’s arm loosely drapes over your shoulder as he begins to answer the question all while Harry watches, a look of disapproval etched on his face when Shawn looks down at you with one of his annoyingly perfect smiles. “I might have.” It’s the horrible attempt at a subtle wink he shoots you that has Harry seeing red, immediately knowing what the man is trying to imply while it’s clear by the look of slight confusion on your face that you have no clue what’s happening and what this conversation the two men are having is actually about.

“How have you been?” Shawn holds back a laugh as you try to dive into the conversation having no clue about the tension you just cut through making Harry’s attention fall back onto you. “I’m sorry for the other day I-I really didn’t mean-”

“You don’t have to apologize for speaking your mind.” Harry says quickly before you can divulge any details of what the two of you spoke about while in the presence of a man he can’t stand.

“Oh did the two of you have a little disagreement?” You just shake your head as Shawn’s hand rubs the top of your arm as if he’s trying to comfort you but Harry didn’t miss the slight flinch when his thumb makes contact with your skin, letting him know you aren’t exactly comfortable.

“No not a disagreement it-”

“None of your fucking business is what it is.” As soon as the words leave Harry’s mouth he knows Shawn has somehow managed to win this round of whatever game the two of them are playing. Because the harshness of his tone and the loudness of his voice makes you jump ever so slightly letting Shawn swoop in as some sort of protector as he subtly uses the arm that’s still draped over your shoulder to pull you closer into his side.

“Come on love let’s go take a walk and let Harry here get some air so he can maybe calm down a little.” Shawn says while looking down at you with a smile that Harry can see right through, he knows it’s not genuine he knows this is all an act to make him look like he’s the caring one but Harry knows him better than you do so he knows it’s just a ploy to get you to trust him and do what he wants.

“Oh uhm okay.” Your voice is low as you look over at Harry who is staring daggers at Shawn’s hand as he watches as it slowly travels from the top of your arm down to your lower back as he turns you towards an opening in the crowded space that the two of you can escape through.

“Nice seeing you Harry.” It’s not until you’re saying bye to him that Harry realizes just how much of a mess he’s made of this whole thing, how he let someone as unimportant as Shawn get in the way of the reason he even approached you in the first place, to talk to you and apologize for his behavior. But you’re swept away and once again lost in the sea of people before he can even attempt to say anything so he’s left standing there with words left unsaid and an unfamiliar hurt in his chest.

You look back over your shoulder in hopes to catch one last glimpse of Harry but it’s too late, his figure is already hidden by a small group of people heading to the bar to refill their drinks. You feel Shawn put a little more pressure on your lower back as he guides you to a secluded section of the party near the railing of the staircase the two of you had to walk down upon entering the event. When you look over at him he has his eye focused on what’s in front of him you take the time to get a better look at him, trusting that he won’t let you fall or have you bump into someone.

Now you’re well aware that Shawn is an attractive looking man, his jawline is impeccable and his smile makes your tummy flutter but something about him seems off and you can’t quite figure it out. All you know is that while he is nice to look at and is a decent conversationalist, you feel a tiny bit uneasy when he touches you like it feels wrong somehow, as if the hands you’re meant to be feeling on your arm and your cheek when he brushes some hair out of your face aren’t his but someone else’s.

You’re good at hiding your feelings because you don’t want to come across as rude considering he’s the one who invited you as his plus one to this charity event so you don’t want to ruin his night out. Especially since this is your first time meeting him in person having only shared a few phone calls over the last two days when he called to introduce himself to you and told you how Jeff was the one who mentioned your name to him and you trust Jeff, so you agreed to being his plus one and when he made you laugh at a silly joke you felt like maybe spending an evening with him wouldn’t be so bad. But that changed the moment you noticed a very familiar pair of emerald green eyes that seemed to be glued on you as you made your way around the event space, and by the way Shawn’s hand seemed to grip your waist even tighten you could tell you weren’t the only one who noticed the two of you were being watched.

“How do you know Harry?” The question makes your brows pinch together as you try to come up with a response that doesn’t seem too vague because honestly Harry is one of those people much like Jeff that you feel like you’ve just known forever. So you just go with the answer that isn’t a lie but also doesn’t feel like the exact truth.

“Through Jeff.” Shawn just nods as he leans an arm on the railing and looks towards you but you can tell he’s looking through you and scanning the crowd for any signs of the tall British man in question. “We uhm met at a party a couple weeks ago.”

“Must’ve been some party because he’s clearly got a crush on you.”

“Who?”

“You’re cute when you’re clueless.” Shawn says with a light chuckle as you look at him with a confused expression on your face because you really don’t know who he could possibly think has a crush on you. “You really don’t see it? The man is acting like a jealous-”

“Jealous?” You quirk a brow as the word leaves your mouth, having no idea what it really means and why it would be something you could see or a way someone can act. “I don’t know what you mean by that.” You explain making Shawn look at you in a way that makes you feel as if he doesn’t believe you.

“Harry is jealous.” He states plainly making you tilt your head as you try to figure out what that statement really means. “That’s why he’s acting the way he is and being-pardon my language but an asshole.”

“I just don’t think he likes you very much that’s all.” The laugh that leaves Shawn’s mouth as you shrug while giving him your response makes your eyes widen in concern because it’s a laugh that is more mocking than it is joyful.

“You’re not wrong but he also very obviously has a crush on you and that’s why he’s being extra-”

“A crush? On me? No-no way you’ve got it-”

“I don’t blame him.” You look down at your wrist as Shawn’s hand reaches out and gently wraps around it making the uneasy feeling begin to bubble up in your chest. “You’re stunning.” His eyes roam over your face before meeting your eyes.

“Tha-thank you.” You fumble with your words as the grip on your champagne flute tightens. “I uhm think I’m going to go get another drink.” You lift up your nearly empty glass making Shawn just give you a soft smile as he drops his hand from your wrist.

“Do you need me-”

“I’ll be fine thank you though.” Your words are rushed as you take a step away from him and towards the crowded bar area, when he doesn’t argue and just lets you walk away you let out a sigh of relief finally feeling as if you can breathe normally again the more distance you put between the two of you.

“One whiskey. Neat please.” Harry’s voice brings a smile to your face the moment you hear it, a deep and smooth sound that makes your heart do a weird sort of flip in your chest. When he turns to lean against the bar as he waits for his drink your eyes find his and all of a sudden he’s standing up straight and walking towards you as if on autopilot, moving through the crowd until he’s standing right in front of you.

“You forgot-” The rest of your sentence gets caught in your throat when Harry places a hand on the side of your face and before you can even blink has his lips on yours in a kiss that makes your whole body feel relaxed and at ease as if it’s finally figured out exactly whose hands are meant to be the ones touching you.

“I’m sorry.” His words are mumbled against your lips as his other hand comes up to cup the other side of your face. “I’m sorry for how I acted at Jeff’s and how I acted tonight I-I just got-”

“Jealous?” You ask as he pulls away just enough so he can look you in your eyes. The small twitch to the corner of his lips makes you aware that he is fighting back one of his signature smirks that makes a weird fuzzy sensation take over your mind.

“Yes.” He admits as he leans his forehead against yours. “I don’t know what you’re doing to me but I can’t stand the thought of you with anyone else but-but I especially can’t stand him getting to be the one who’s arm your on and-”

You don’t hear the rest of his explanation, your mind too busy trying to piece together the little bits of information you’ve gotten throughout the night. It’s all a jumbled mess inside your head making you almost feel like your mind is stuck in a fog as you stand there with the warmth of Harry’s hands on your cheeks and his thumbs gently running up and down your cheekbones. You close your eyes briefly and when you open them again the fog in your mind begins to lift and you see everything more clearly and it’s got your heart dropping to the bottom of your stomach.

“I get it now.” You get a stinging feeling in the back of your eyes as you take a small step away from Harry making his hands fall from your face, everything begins to click into place in your mind as you replay the whole night over in your head. And when you let out a watery laugh as you come to the conclusion of why Harry suddenly decided to kiss you, it makes his face contort into one of confusion mixed with hurt as his brows scrunch together.

“You get what?”

“Jealousy. I know what it means now.” Your words have Harry instantly reaching out for you but you’re quick to step away before his soft hands can make contact with your skin. “You-you did that because of Shawn because you’re-you’re jealous-”

“No no-well I mean yes I was jealous but-” You don’t give Harry time to finish explaining himself before you turn and start to walk away from him. You place your champagne flute down on the first table you walk by and when you finally get free of the crowd you place a hand over your chest as you try to take deep even breaths.

The feeling that starts to creep its way up from the deepest part of your being is one you’ve never felt before, it’s all consuming and has you gasping for air as if your lungs are being constricted and your eyes are doing that annoying thing where they just let rivers of tears pour out of them no matter how hard or often you try to blink them away. It’s as if you can feel a piece of your heart actually break and fall off, landing in the lowest part of your chest. The hurt you feel from it nearly brings you to your knees but before you end up on the floor you feel an arm around your middle holding you up.

“Come on.” When you look over you see Jeff giving you a smile, even through the tears you can tell it’s sad like he feels bad for you in this moment and wants to help you. “I have a car out front that will take you home.”

“He kissed me.” You mumble making Jeff just nod as he helps you up the steps. “But-but only because of Shawn.”

“I’m sure that’s not-”

“Please don’t leave.” You and Jeff stop your slow climb up the stairs at the sound of Harry’s voice coming from behind. “Please just let me explain.” Jeff turns to look over his shoulder at his bestfriend and the look of panic and what he would also describe as heartbreak on his face almost makes him want to help him but he doesn’t, he does what he thinks is best and gives your waist a little squeeze before he turns his attention back to the steps in front of him and continues helping you up them.

“Not now Harry.” Is all the man says making Harry stop in his tracks only a few steps behind the two of you.

“Don’t leave please just-”

“Leave me alone.” Your voice is what does it for Harry, it’s what sends him rushing up the stairs until he’s standing in front of you forcing you to look at him.

“No.” The word is followed by a glare sent in Jeff’s direction that has him slowly moving his arm from around you and waking up the rest of the stairs alone, letting Harry have his space. “I’m not going to leave you alone until you let me explain what just happened.” His voice is soft with a slight edge to it that has you avoiding his eyes.

“I know what happened. You kissed me because-”

“I kissed you because I wanted to or or-more like I needed to. It had nothing to do with that prick you came here with.” You bring a hand up to wipe at your face as Harry ducks down until you have no choice but to look him in the eyes. “I don’t know what’s happening but ever since meeting you I-I can’t think of anything or anyone else besides you and it’s because you-you see me the real me and you see things about me no one else does and I don’t-” He pauses to take let out a deep sigh. “I don’t know what to do about you.”

“Then maybe you shouldn’t see me again until you do.”

“Please don’t-”

“It was nice seeing you again Harry.” You both know you’re lying and just trying to end this whole ordeal on a slightly positive note. “I have to go now.” You tell him as you fight off a new wave of tears, he lets out a sigh of defeat as he moves over a bit on the stairs to let you walk by him.

“I’m sorry.” You hear him whisper when you walk past him and you just rub your lips together to keep them from trembling as you look up to see Jeff standing there sliding his phone into his back pocket with an unreadable expression on his face but when he sees you he gives you a tight lipped smile as he holds his arm out for you to loop yours through.

“Give him some time to sort his shit out and maybe try to talk to him again.” He advises as he leads you out of the building and towards the sidewalk where his driver is waiting for you in a black SUV. “It’s going to be okay.” You just nod as he gives you a hug before opening the door and helping you climb into the backseat.

“Thank you. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Jeff just smile at you before he closes the door, once the car is headed down the street he lets out a frustrated groan as he runs a hand through his hair.

“Fuck why can’t I just get one night where things go the way I need them to? Just one fucking night that’s all I need.” He mumbles to himself as he pulls his phone out and scrolls over to the app that lets him control your personality traits deciding that you need to be a little more forgiving if he has any hope of you wanting to see Harry again.

But then he taps on your intelligence letting him have a wider control of what you do and don’t know and he feels his hand grip his phone almost too tight when he sees your knowledge on jealousy and intimate relationships is practically at zero, letting him know exactly why the evening turned out the way it did. Once he’s done fiddling with you he closes the app and slides his phone into his back pocket. He runs a hand over his face before turning around so he can go back inside and do damage control, seeing as not only did one of the world’s biggest stars just kiss a random girl in front of hundreds of people he also got left standing on a staircase on the verge of tears by the same girl. This makes Jeffery swiftly enter manager mode to make sure the no phones policy was strictly in effect and photos or videos of the incident won’t be leaked online, at least not until he wants them to be.

As Jeff walks back into the event he knows exactly where he’ll find Harry, at the bar drying to drown his sorrows in a glass of whiskey. Luckily Jeff also knows that his bestfriend tends to get more emotional when drunk and the more emotional Harry gets the more likely he is to put his feeling down onto paper and if he can get at least a single line of a possible song then tonight won’t go down as a total bust. So instead of cutting him off, Jeff orders another round when he makes it to the bar and stands next to his friend who is leaning over the top of it with his head in hands.

“If you tell me it’ll be okay I will punch you in the face Jeffery I’m not kidding.”

“Actually I wasn’t going to say that.”

“Yeah? Then what were you going to say?”

“I think you should just move on.” He knows those are the last words Harry wants to hear, it’s the words that will have him taking shots and mumbling things about how beautiful you are as the night goes on and by the end of it he will be drunk dialing Mitch to help him figure out which word he should use that rhymes with your name that doesn’t sound too cheesy.

“Fuck you.” Jeff has to bite back his smile as Harry lifts his head and grabs his glass and downs the rest of his drink on one gulp. “You’re an asshole you know that right?” His voice is harsh as he straightens out his suit jacket and runs a hand through his hair before turning and glaring at his friend. “Tell Shawn I said bye will you? Since I know you’re the one who invited him to this.” Jeff feels the color drain from his face as Harry reaches over and places a hand on one of his shoulders, he doesn’t know how Harry knows but clearly he does and stupidly Jeff opens his mouth to try to deny it.

“I didn’t-”

“Save it for someone who’ll believe it.” He gives Jeff’s shoulder a harsh pat before stepping to the side of him. “I’m going to go fix this bullshit your little stunt caused and if you’re smart you’ll tell Shawn to stay the fuck away from her before it’s more than just insults that I toss at him.”

“Okay.” Is all he can manage to say as Harry makes a show of shoving his shoulder into his chest as he walks by.

“Oh and one more thing.” Jeff turns around to face Harry as he lifts a finger in the air while turning around and pointing it directly at him. “Do something like this again and you’re fired.” The way he says it isn’t threatening, no it’s said like a promise that Jeff knows he will keep so all Jeff does is nod and swallow down his nerves as he watches Harry turn on his heal and walk off towards the stairs.

“This is fine.” Jeff says to himself as he turns to grab his drink off the bar. “I can work with this.” He says with a nod as he tries to calm himself down enough so he can try to think of a plan to get this to work in his favor.

After a few minutes and some hearty sips of his drink later he franticly pulls out his phone and sends a text to the man that he just watched walk away from him, sending him your number and address in hopes it will not only begin to help Harry forgive him for this whole thing but also aid him in the process of finding you and working things out, both things Jeff needs in order to reach the end goal of this whole thing. When his phone buzzes in his hand he looks down and sees it’s a text from Harry, a one word reply that while being simple still has Jeff smiling to himself because maybe just maybe tonight won’t be a total waste.

Thanks

[multifandomworldsposts]

🧣🎅🏻 KINKMAS 2024 🎄🧤

i’m going to be doing kinkmas this year!! i’ll be doing 5 days this year! give me requests and treat people with kindness!! 🫶🏻🧣🎄🎅🏻

Day 1: Early Morning Sex - Logan Howlet

Day 2: His Favorite - Jake 'Hangman' Seresin

Day 3: Sex Toys - Arthur Curry

Day 4: Slutty Pics - Kayce Dutton

[luvmyoui]

six - out

previous masterlist next

gp!myoui mina x fem!reader

warnings: cursing

word count: 1,732

a/n: GUYS IM SORRY, I MEANT TO POST THIS EARLIER BUT I LOST TRACK OF TIME PLS FORGIVE ME😞😞

the constant buzzing of your phone roused you from your slumber, you tried to ignore it but the buzzing hadn’t gone away like it usually would. with a huff you sat up and received the call without checking the caller. 

“what?!” you said annoyance clear in your tone.

“check twitter, right now!” camila’s stressed out voice exclaimed from the other end of the phone. 

“okay, okay, gosh what terrible thing happen-” you fell silent when the twitter app loaded on and displayed a linked article stating a question along with a picture. 

SIXTH HARMONY’S Y/N L/N HAS A DAUGHTER? 

the article went on to explain how an anonymous source had sent a picture of the ‘happy birthday isla’ banner that hung behind you, you were squatted on the floor with isla’s cheek squished into yours. seeing the picture you immediately recognized it as one that was definitely taken the day before. you could only curse yourself for letting that man help bring that package into your home and forgetting to close the door. apparently there had been paparazzi waiting outside of your house and took pictures of the decorations while your door was open. 

“y/n? you good?” camila's worried voice pulled you out of your regretful thoughts. 

“y-yeah, just shocked. the thought of this happening never even crossed my mind.” you said, still in disbelief that this could’ve happened. 

“look at the comments though, we can go along with them and lie.” hearing this, with curiosity you scrolled down to see the replies to the tweet. 

REPLIES: 

sixtharmony4ever: why can't you people just mind your own business omg, leave my girls alone!!!

camilasolostan: wtf??? was y/n a teen mom?! iloveyn: so what if she was, its her life not yours.

laurenmll: why are you idiots acting like she can't have nieces😭😭 user872349: are you stupid, she doesn't have any siblings💀💀 laurenmll: are you? you're acting like she cant have any cousins☠️ laursss: girl lets be real, thats 100% y/ns kid camziezz: literally, cuzns arent twins💀💀

sixthharmonizerrr: these paparazzis seriously need to get a life and let celebs live theirs.

twice4lifee: guys why does that baby look exactly like mina😰😰minaluvzme: IM SAYINN once4ever: NEW SHIP???

minariii: *image attached* cannot tell me they are not the same person, literally give that kid a haircut and its mina.

lovey/nnn: why does the baby look like that one girl from that kpop group?!

harmonizeronce: does mina have a secret brother? twcmina: she literally said in multiple interviews she was an only child. harmonizeronce: thats why i said secret smartass.

seeing people defending you brought a smile to your face, you loved your fans. though you couldn't help the anxiety creep up your spine, what if they found out about mina. rather than worrying for yourself, you worried for mina, it might break her career if it's found out that she has a kid. you knew that the kpop industry was much less forgiving when it came to things like this. feeling another buzz in your hand caused you to look at the incoming call from your manager larry. 

“mila, larry’s calling so i’ll hang up now okay?” hearing a ‘kay’ from camila you hung up and accepted the call from your manager. 

“deny having a kid, say it was your cousins or something and that you hang out with her kid alot. I honestly don't care what you say, just make sure no one knows that it's your kid.” he said as soon as you had accepted the call

“and if i don't want to?” 

“that’s not an option.” he stated. 

“I'm not going to deny my kid, can I just stay quiet? i won't ever deny that isla’s my daughter, i'm not and never will be ashamed of her. sure i had her young but i don't regret it at all.” you responded with finality in your voice. maybe this was a stupid decision, but one parent had already left isla and you refused to disown her by saying she wasn't yours.  

letting out a sigh, knowing nothing he said would change your decision, your manager let out a fine and hung up the call. you let yourself fall back into your bed and just laid there hands and legs sprawled out. hearing the creak of your door opening made you lift your head a bit to see isla standing there. she ran over to your bed, when she reached it she proceeded to lift one of her legs up trying to get onto the bed. you smiled down at how cute she looked, stopping her struggles, you sat up and pulled her onto the bed next to you. with her small hands she pushed you down onto your back and jumped onto you, cuddling her face into your neck. 

“when will i get to see mommy, i only see hew in pictuws.” isla said into your neck, she was very clearly distressed, and you could only think of the day before when she had questioned mina’s want to even see her. 

you honestly didn't even think mina wanted to see her, sure she sent gifts but you doubt she’d want to see isla. she always thought of the child as a burden, as something that you were supposed to care for. the thought brought a frown to your face, you wished for mina to see isla and acknowledge her as a daughter. 

chaos had ensued in the twice dorms, although mina only shared a dorm with nayeon, all the girls were currently at the dorms. as soon as they had seen the tweet they rushed over, hoping that it wasn't as they thought. 

“so what, you just left her alone with a kid?!” jeongyeon exclaimed, clearly upset at the mere idea. 

“uh- well it wasn't like that, i wanted to pursue my dream and she was holding me back. also i send them money and gifts and pay for the apartment, i’m fulfilling my role as a parent.” hearing this, all of the girls continued their attack, throwing objects at mina. she tried to dodge but there were too many coming and too fast. 

“god i knew you were a douche judging by the amount of girls you bring home, but this is just unbelievable.” momo said, followed by a shoe being thrown at mina’s head. 

“you guys are unbelievable, i'm your member, not her. plus, are you forgetting the part where i literally send gifts, money, and pay the bills?! also she didn't want me to follow my dream!” mina exclaimed, why couldn't they understand her side?

“yeah, and are you forgetting the part where you got her pregnant. whatever she says doesn't matter, as the person who got her pregnant you should have taken responsibility.” jihyo voiced out, clearly annoyed by her excuses.

“I do take responsibility! how many times do i need to say that i give them money, i spoil them incredibly!” mina cried out in exasperation, how many times did she have to say it for them to understand?

the yelling and throwing of things was stopped the moment the door to the dorm opened, their manager walking in. “mina, there better be a good explanation for this.” their manager said, glaring at mina. 

“uhm- there really isn't one, it’s exactly how it seems.” 

“how do you even know y/n?!” their manager exclaimed, not being able to wrap her mind around this situation.

“we uh- we were high school sweethearts, we dated throughout almost the entirety of highschool.”

“what?!” everyone exclaimed, not knowing that they were in that serious of a relationship. 

“wait, so do you know any other celebrities?” chaeyoung asked in disbelief, she had been a fan of the group's music for a while and couldn't believe mina knew them.

“uh- yeah, shawn mendes, he was my best friend since middle school and camila, but she was y/n’s best friend. and i mean camila never really liked me.” 

“you knew shawn mendes?!” chaeyoung exclaimed, being best friends with shawn mendes was insane to her. 

“yeah, i still talk to him from time to time too.” mina said, scratching the back of her head as she explained. 

“mina, i hope you know that we will be going to the US for the billboard women in music awards. and sixth harmony will for sure be there.” their manager said to mina.

“what!?” mina exclaimed, the thought that she might run into you again was now starting to eat away at her. she didn't want to see you, but at the same time she wanted so desperately to. 

“oh yeah, i was gonna tell you.” jihyo said, everyone surprised that mina didn't know. 

everyone had left by now, and it was only mina, nayeon, and the two beer bottles on the coffee table in front of them. mina usually didn't drink, her intolerance for alcoholic drinks being the reason, but after today she just needed a drink. 

“what do you think? do you agree with everyone else, you think i'm an asshole?” mina asked, not offended but wanting a genuine answer.

“I mean what you did was very assholey, but i mean it’s never too late to change you know? i mean i’ve lived with you for like how long? three, four years? and i mean i think i know you best, and i can say with confidence you’ve had at least a little character development.” nayeon said, taking a swig of her beer. 

“but what do i do? I feel like what me and y/n had is broken by now. I don't think she’d even want me to meet isla.” mina said, she would never dare say her true thoughts. and i mean, could you blame her? 

all she knew about this kid was that she was 3 years old and that it was hers. she didn't even know what isla looked like until she saw the picture on twitter. she felt terrible for even thinking it, but she didn't really care all that much for this kid. you on the other hand, she had known you for a long time, she loved you, she had a kid with you. she didn't regret pursuing her dream but she wished it didn’t include losing you. 

“just talk to her, when we meet her. try to just talk it all out.” 

taglist: @moon-ellie @lisas-earlobe @cocojy @second-daughter-of-clexa @runassimp@eliii1sblog @yvsvrn send an ask if you want to be added to the taglist!

[blueberrymash]

boyband heartthrob ! james sirius potter x the female solo artist he's rumored to be dating ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

[jirsungs]

NO IDEA ☆ l.dh

pairing: loser!donghyuck x fem!reader

no idea synopsis: a story where both you and lee donghyuck seem to get what you want. he's the perfect pawn in making your ex-boyfriend jealous and the smarty pants tutor helping you pass your math class. donghyuck has it easy too, he's finally able to seek out and experience the world of dating through you, his long-devoted crush and surprisingly enthusiastic tutoring student. but then again, when meaningless tutoring sessions soon evolve into reciprocated feelings, is it really that easy?

genre: college au, nonidol au, fake dating au, social media au (includes written chapters), classmates to friends to lovers, he's a nerd & she's a popular cheerleader (you see where this is going), he fell first but she fell harder trope, kinda based off to all the boys i've loved before, fluff, crack/humor, angst, one-sided pining that turns into mutual pining

warnings: explicit language, unrealistic college partying, talks about family issues (this does NOT reflect any of the idol's families!), yuqi has an ex gf, some alcohol consumption, kys and sexual humor, bullying, hyuck and his buds are mistreated ☹️, hyunjin is a bad bf!!!, cheesy af, unrequited love, bad insults that sound like they're from the 2000s, HELLA miscommunication

no idea playlist: btr's no idea, taylor swift's you belong with me, the vamps + demi lovato's somebody to you, james arthur's can i be him, ariana grande's daydreamin, fitz & the tantrums' out of my league, shawn mendes' treat you better, bruno mars' just the way you are, lonely god's marlboro nights, the 1975's i'm in love with you, sam smith's like i can, arctic monkeys' wanna be yours

author's note: FIRST HYUCK SMAUU! how we feeling 😏 i needed to get this idea out of my system! plus, i love this type of trope, and haechan just fits the nerdy role 😭 I HAD TO! but happy reading :D <3

comment if you wish to be tagged for the story's updates!

profiles: "ncu freaks" + jeno 🤔 | gal pals & two men

intro. #manifestationiskey 🩷

ep 1. but a FAILING?

ep 2. i guess i'm her tutor

ep 3. WHY IS HE ATTRACTIVE

ep 4. COUGH y/n bag him COUGH

ep 5. i know i can treat youuu bettterr

ep 6. YNHYUCK PLOT IS FINALLY SAILING!

ep 7. bro texts with his 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 𝓪𝓵𝓹𝓱𝓪 mode on 🐺👅

ep 8. bro fumbled HARD 🤦‍♂️

ep 9. LET THE BOY LIVE!! HES IN LOVE!!

ep 10. THE HARD LAUNCH GOES CRAZY

ep 11. lemme guess, fake boyfriend responsibilities? (written)

ep 12. jeno got me up... plotting

ep 13. AMAZING fake boyfriend

ep 14. meeting the ncu freaks? (written)

ep 15. #1 worldwide bitch

ep 16.

ep 17.

ep 18.

more to come. . .!

started: 09/06/24 finished:

© JIRSUNGS. ANY TRANSLATIONS/REPOSTS/PUBLISHES OF MY WORKS ON ANY PLATFORM ARE STRICTLY PROHIBITED! ALL COMMENTS, REBLOGS, LIKES, & FEEDBACK ARE GREATLY APPRECIATED! THANK YOU SO MUCH! I LOVE YOU, MWA! <3

[aventurineswife]

you could write a scenario with Aventurine, Dan Heng and Jing Yan (or any other more character of your preference) the theme is the song "Treat you Better" by Shawn Mendes, like, the fem!eader is in a relationship with someone who doesn't treat her well and they're like "leave him, I can treat you better"

idk this idea just stuck in my head while I was listening to the song, it brings me nostalgia 😭😭

It's my first time making a request soooo... Sorry if the grammar is wrong, English is not my first language

Anyway, I love your writing, it's really good and recently I've been addicted to your writing 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

“I Can Treat You Better Than He Can”

Tags: Aventurine x Reader, Dan Heng x Reader, Jing Yuan x Reader, Fluff, Angst, Character Development, Comfort, Self-Worth, Protective, Inner Turmoil, Slow Burn.

Warnings: Emotional Trauma (mentions of unhealthy relationships, emotional abuse), Heavy Themes of Self-Doubt, Mental Health Struggles (emotional burden, survivor’s guilt, loneliness), Manipulation (Aventurine’s past as a manipulative figure may be referenced), Conflict of Interests.

A/N: NOOO I USED TO LISTEN TO THAT ALL THAT TIME AS A KID AND SAME GOES FOR MY SISTER TOO 😭🙏

Tagslist: @themiddletenmasibling

The Astral Express hummed quietly as the night passed, the stars outside flickering like distant dreams. Inside, Dan Heng stood by the window, his piercing gaze focused on the black void that stretched out before them. His hand rested lightly on spear, but his thoughts were elsewhere, fixating on the unspoken weight in the air.

You had been quiet lately, quieter than usual. Your normally bright and radiant demeanor had been replaced with something more distant, more guarded. He couldn’t ignore the subtle change in the way you carried yourself, the slumped shoulders, the barely concealed sadness in your eyes whenever you thought no one was looking. He noticed how you would retreat to corners of the train, as if trying to escape the weight of the world you carried.

It didn’t take long for Dan Heng to piece together that you were in a relationship with someone who didn’t deserve you. He had heard the whispers when you weren’t around—the way your voice cracked when you mentioned your partner, the way your eyes became dull with resignation. He knew it wasn’t his place to say anything, but something inside him churned with a quiet anger at the injustice of it all.

Tonight, as the crew settled in for a rare moment of rest, Dan Heng found himself walking quietly towards you. He was unsure of what to say, how to break the silence that had been between you for so long. But as he approached, he noticed the familiar look of frustration and sadness on your face, and the words slipped out before he could stop them.

"Why do you stay with him?" His voice was soft but firm, cutting through the quiet like a blade. He didn’t look at you directly, his eyes focused on a point beyond the window, but his presence was unmistakable.

You hesitated, a sigh escaping your lips as you glanced at him. "It’s complicated, Dan Heng."

He could feel the hesitation in your words, the uncertainty that plagued your thoughts. He let out a soft breath, turning slightly to face you, his gaze finally meeting yours.

"It doesn’t have to be," he said, his voice quieter now, almost like a whisper meant only for you. "You deserve someone who will value you, who will make you feel seen, not someone who drags you down."

He stepped closer, his expression softer than usual. "I can treat you better. I’ll be here for you, no matter what." He wasn’t sure where the words were coming from, but they felt true in the moment—like the truth had finally found its way to the surface.

You opened your mouth to protest, but he held up a hand, his fingers brushing lightly against your arm.

"Just think about it," he said. "You don’t have to carry this burden alone. There’s no need to stay in something that makes you unhappy."

For a long moment, neither of you spoke. The silence between you was heavy, yet comforting in its own way. Dan Heng’s words had opened a door, one that you weren’t sure you were ready to walk through—but part of you knew he was right. He was offering you a chance at something different, something better.

And for the first time in a while, you didn’t feel so alone.

The soft light of the Xianzhou Luofu’s lanterns flickered around you, casting long shadows across the polished marble floors. Jing Yuan, with his trademark laziness, stood at the entrance of the grand hall, surveying the scene with a sense of quiet satisfaction. His sharp eyes never missed a detail, yet tonight, they were focused on you.

You had been distant—more than usual. He could see the weariness in your movements, the way you seemed lost in your thoughts, as if the weight of something was pressing on your heart. It didn’t take a master strategist to figure out that you were struggling with the dynamics of your current relationship, and Jing Yuan found himself growing increasingly concerned.

He had long been the quiet observer, the strategist who planned steps far ahead of everyone else, but in this moment, he could feel the protective instincts rising within him. You were not just any crew member on the Luofu. No, you were someone he had come to care for, someone whose well-being mattered to him in a way he had not expected.

As the night wore on, Jing Yuan approached you slowly, his presence commanding yet soft in its approach.

"You’ve been quiet tonight," he remarked, his voice carrying a quiet authority. There was no judgment in his tone, only concern—a rare admission from the usually aloof Arbiter-General.

You gave him a weary smile, trying to brush off the unease that had settled in your chest. "Just tired, Jing Yuan."

He studied you for a moment, sensing that there was more to your fatigue than just physical exhaustion. "Tired of what?" His gaze softened, a rare vulnerability flickering in his usually calm eyes. "Tired of pretending everything is fine?"

You stiffened, caught off guard by his perceptiveness. It was like he could see right through you. There was no hiding from Jing Yuan’s wisdom, no shield to protect you from the understanding that radiated from him.

"Is it your partner?" he asked gently, the question hanging between you like an open wound.

For a moment, you faltered, unsure of how to respond. But the way Jing Yuan was looking at you, with such quiet intensity, made the decision easier.

"Yes," you whispered, your voice barely audible. "It’s... complicated."

He took a step closer, his presence looming but not oppressive. "It doesn’t have to be," he said, his voice low but unwavering. "You deserve someone who sees you for who you truly are. Someone who doesn’t make you doubt your worth."

You met his gaze, the weight of his words sinking deep into your soul. Jing Yuan was always careful with his words, and when he spoke like this, you knew he meant it.

"You don’t have to stay in something that hurts you," he continued, his tone softening further. "I can treat you better. I’d never ask you to settle for less than you deserve."

There was something raw in his words, something unspoken that hung in the air between you. In that moment, Jing Yuan’s stoic demeanor cracked, revealing a depth of care that he rarely allowed others to see.

He wasn’t asking for anything in return, only offering his presence as a foundation of support. And for the first time in a long while, you felt as if you were no longer alone in your pain.

The dimly lit room was filled with the faint hum of machinery and the rustle of papers, but Aventurine hardly noticed. His eyes were trained on you, watching as you moved about the space, your posture stiff and your steps hesitant, as if carrying an invisible weight that had settled heavily on your shoulders.

Aventurine had always prided himself on his ability to read people, to understand their motives and desires, but tonight, it was different. There was something in your gaze, something in the way you avoided his eyes, that tugged at him. He had seen this before, the quiet defeat, the sorrow carefully concealed beneath layers of indifference.

And he wasn’t having it.

With a swiftness that surprised you, he crossed the room and placed himself in your path, his usual teasing grin replaced by a rare expression of sincerity. His eyes, usually full of playful mischief, were serious as they met yours.

"Why are you still with him?" Aventurine asked, his voice lower than usual, stripped of its usual bravado. "You deserve more than that."

You hesitated, unsure of how to respond, but he wasn’t giving you the chance to retreat.

"You don’t have to keep sacrificing yourself for someone who doesn’t see your worth," he continued, his words laced with an intensity that was at odds with his usual flamboyant charm. "I can treat you better. I know what it’s like to fight for your place in this world, and I would never ask you to stay in something that drags you down."

Aventurine took a step closer, his hand hovering just slightly above yours, a gesture of support that you had not expected from him. He was no stranger to manipulation, to using people for his gain, but in this moment, his sincerity was undeniable.

"You’re more than just a pawn in someone else’s game," he said, his voice softer now, vulnerable in a way you had never heard it before. "You’re worth far more than that."

His usual bravado returned as he added, with a grin that didn’t quite match his eyes, "And if you ever want to play a different game, I’m yours."

You looked up at him, unsure of what to say, but in that moment, you realized something: for all his flaws and the games he played, Aventurine was offering you something you hadn’t known you needed—a chance at something better. Something that didn’t involve settling.

And that, for once, felt like enough.

[writerinlearning]

𝐎𝐧𝐞 𝐃𝐚𝐲. 𝐌𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐞.

plot: henry is always here for his best friend, but everyone reaches their breaking point eventually. but maybe, just maybe, this is for the best.

pairing: henry hart x fem!reader

show: henry danger

warnings: light mentions of blood, cuts and bruises; implied domestic violence but nothing graphic; henry swearing when he’s pissed off (listen, that boy swears a lot and you can’t convince me of the opposite). also, the part in italics is a flashback from henry's pov.

word count: 6,8k

author’s notes: english isn’t my first language, apologies for the possible mistakes. this piece is inspired by the song Hard from Why Don’t We, and i guess a little bit by the song Treat You Better from Shawn Mendes, so i suggest you listen to the songs beforehand to get the vibe of the story, or read the lyrics to know what it’s about. it takes place around season five of henry danger, to give you an idea of how old the characters are. also, it’s implied that the reader is in a bad relationship, it might be triggering for some people so read it to your own discretion. and if you ever need anyone to talk to, my dms are always open.

henry hart masterlist | main masterlist

Henry lays wide awake in his bed, looking up at the ceiling above him. His hands are flat on his stomach as he lays on his back, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth. He knows it’s late at night and that he’ll probably regret it in the morning, aware that he’ll have to wake up around 7 if he doesn’t want to be late for school again. He just can’t seem to get her out of his head. Every day and every night, she plagues his every thought; Y/N, his best friend since kindergarten. 

When he’s at school, she’s on his mind. When he’s at work, she’s on his mind. When he lays alone in bed at night, she’s on his mind. No matter what he’s doing, or where he is, she’s always in a corner of his mind. Always. It doesn’t help that she goes to the same school and works in the same place; he’s always catching sight of her, even when she isn’t looking. He doesn’t know how anyone hasn’t said anything to him, or how she hasn’t noticed him staring, because he isn’t the most subtle person in the world when it comes to his feelings for her. He always gets sidetracked when she enters a room, his eyes always linger on her when she walks away, his cheeks always flare up when she smiles, and when she stands close to him, he always pretends to accidentally brush his hand against hers, craving the warmth of her skin against his. Perhaps he is better at hiding his feelings than he thought he’d be; either way, he doesn’t mind. If his feelings are unacknowledged by the people around him, it makes it easier to push down those feelings, forever wondering if they’ll go away; if it’ll hurt less every time she walks away.

Henry lets out a sigh, turning on his side to check the time on his bedside clock. The bright red numbers display 12:15 in the morning, and he groans, burying his face in his pillow out of frustration. He knows he won’t get enough sleep to get himself through the day and that he’ll probably fall asleep in class at some point, and he hates it. He doesn’t really know when his sleep schedule became fucked up; if it had been when he first became Kid Danger when he was thirteen, or if it were since he first realized he had feelings for Y/N. Perhaps a little bit of both, he thinks. He did choose to become Captain Man’s sidekick, but he certainly didn’t choose to fall in love with his best friend. He hates it, but there isn’t much he can do about it; even if he tries to push his feelings away, they’ll always come back to bite him in the ass. It doesn’t help that Y/N already has a boyfriend and, granted, Henry hates the guy, but Y/N seems happy with him so Henry thinks it’s all that matters. If she is happy, then he is happy for her. At least, that’s what he told himself when she first began dating the guy; he went back on his words when he realized he loved her.

Henry closes his eyes as he sighs again, remembering the night when he admitted to himself that he was in love with Y/N. She hadn’t shown up to his birthday party that his parents had thrown, which was unlike her and it had him worried the whole night. Until she showed up, at midnight, on his front porch. 

Y/N is standing there, with tears in her eyes as she looks up at him. Her arms are wrapped around herself in a hug, as if she were trying to shield herself from the cold air of the night. Henry doesn’t know what to say, still mad that she wasn’t there for his birthday party, but his anger dissolves into nothing when his eyes drift to the red tear stains on her cheeks. He holds his breath as a sob rushes past her lips, and his arms find her waist to hold her up when her knees almost give out under her weight. He leads her inside, closing the front door behind him with the heel of his foot, and he helps her up to his room where she sits on his bed. 

Henry doesn’t have to say anything as he sits next to her and she rests her head on his shoulder, but he is smart enough to understand. He feels his chest tighten when his mind makes him think about what might have happened, that perhaps her boyfriend had laid a hand on her, and he tilts his head downward to look at her. He shivers at the thought, swallowing the growing lump in his throat. He knows it hasn’t been long since she started dating this guy from high school, about a month or two, but she seemed happy with him, and Henry frowns when he thinks about it. His hands move to hold the sides of her face as he shifts in his spot to be facing her, and his eyes flicker to the fading bruise in the corner of her left eye. His frown deepens, not remembering ever seeing a bruise on her face before, but his features soften when tears begin to roll down her cheeks the second his eyes drift back to hers, holding her gaze in his. He uses his thumbs to wipe the tears away, worry flashing in his eyes. Warmth spreads through his muscles when her hands find his wrists, and she wraps her fingers around them to ground herself. Her hands are cold, but her skin is soft against his, and his heart flutters in his chest. Another sob leaves her lips, and Henry moves his hands to wrap his arms around her shoulders to pull her close to him. 

“Wanna tell me what happened?” He whispers softly, resting his cheek against the top of her head.

Y/N shakes her head a little, further burying it into his chest as she grips the hem of his shirt, her tears forming wet patches against the cotton fabric. Her shoulders tremble with every sob that leaves her body, but Henry keeps her close to him, using his hands to draw soothing circles against her back. He closes his eyes as he begins to rock their bodies back and forth gently, until her sobs die down and he can hear the slow pace of her breath and her soft sniffles. She’s the one to pull away from him, using the palm of her hand to wipe away her runny nose, and her lips break into an embarrassed smile as she looks down in her lap. One of her hands reaches for something in the pocket of her coat, and Henry tilts his head in confusion when she hands him a small white box with a silver ribbon on it.

“Happy birthday Hen.” Y/N whispers hoarsely, looking at him with a small smile on her lips. 

He smiles then, taking the box from her and unraveling the ribbon before he carefully opens the lid. He recognizes what it is; she has the same one, and she gifted one to Jasper and Charlotte too, on their respective birthdays. It’s a permanent chain silver bracelet, one Y/N says is supposed to represent their friendship. Henry knew he would get one from her eventually, because she’d gifted one to their friends, he just didn’t think she’d gift it to him on his eighteenth birthday.

“I love it.” He tells her, smiling.

She smiles back. “C’mon, I’ll help you put it on.”

Henry can still see the sadness in her eyes, and the fading purple bruise in the corner of her eye, but he lets her take the chain bracelet and the pair of cutting pliers provided in the kit. He extends his right arm in front of him, and she puts the silver bracelet around his wrist, using the pliers to cut the chain. He observes as she concentrates herself on sealing the bracelet, making sure it’s not too tight so that it sits comfortably on his wrist. He watches her, and his heart flutters in his chest when her fingers brush against his skin, sending shivers down his spine and he can feel the heat flushing his cheeks. His eyes drift to her face, and he sees that she’s slightly poking her tongue out in concentration, licking her lips after taking a deep breath. His heart begins to race in his chest, and the butterflies flutter in his stomach when she brings the palm of her hand against his to analyze her work on the silver chain. He holds his breath when she glances up to him through her eyelashes, a soft smile on her lips. He hears her let out a small chuckle when he looks away from her, knowing his cheeks are probably as red as a tomato, but he can’t help it; she looks beautiful, wrapped in her black coat and with her hair falling on each side of her face, eyebrows turned into a focused frown as she focuses on the permanent bracelet again. She shifts positions, and her knees touch his, sending a wave of warmth through his muscles. He loves having her close to him, in the comforting silence of his room. He loves observing her, and the little things she does that only he seems to notice. He loves the way her hand feels against his when her palm is pressed against his, and he has to fight the urge to intertwine their fingers together. His eyes drift from their hands to her face again, lingering on her lips a little too long, and he thinks about how it would feel like to taste them; to have his lips against hers, to be kissing her. 

He blinks, reminding himself that she already has a boyfriend, that he cannot be in love with her, and he is pulled away from his thoughts when she clears her throat. He looks up to her, and he sees her put a strand of hair back behind her ear when she sits straighter, letting the cutting pliers fall between her crossed legs on his bed. He glances down at the silver chain on his wrist as she brings her right arm close to his, revealing the matching permanent bracelet on hers. 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be here today.” She says, her eyes flickering to his.

“Why are you here now?” Henry asks her, his voice barely a whisper.

He knows she’s picked up on the worry in his voice, because her eyes drift back to their wrists, and he can feel her tears falling on his skin as she looks down. 

“Did he hurt you?”

Henry doesn’t know why his voice comes out with a crack; perhaps because he is afraid of what her answer might be. He doesn’t know why he asked her either, but he wants to know. Because she is his best friend, and he cares about her. 

His blood freezes in his veins and his face pales when he sees her nod her head, more tears rolling down her cheeks as sobs leave her lips. His chest hurts as his heart constricts inside, and his breathing becomes shallow. He has to keep himself together because, as she falls apart in front of him, he knows she needs him. He shifts around on his mattress, opening his arms. Y/N takes refuge in them, wrapping her own around his midsection and she buries her face in his chest. He lets out a low sigh, feeling her tears through the fabric of his shirt, and he begins to draw circles on her back in a soothing way. He lays his head atop hers, his cheek pressed against the crown of her head as he gently rocks their bodies back and forth until her cries die down. She deserves so much better than her boyfriend, Henry thinks as he holds her close, wondering what else has been going on that he doesn’t know about.

Henry groans, running a hand over his face as he tries to forget that night, pushing the memory to the far back of his mind. The moon casts its light in his room through the window, and he can see it reflecting on the chain bracelet on his wrist. Four months. It had been four months since then, and Henry still couldn’t understand how Y/N went back to her boyfriend. She says it’s because she loves him, because he’ll never lay a hand on her again, but Henry has been observing her since that night. Because he worries about her, and because he loves her. He would notice the way she’d pull her sleeves down or wear scarves in class when she never wore one in her life before. He would take note of the makeup she wears, when she’d never been one to cover herself with makeup in the first place. He would see how she’d flinch when someone would accidentally hit a locker, or if a door was slammed too hard. He would catch sight of her trying to make herself small in the Man Cave whenever one of them would get angry and raise their voice. He knows that what she wants everyone to believe isn’t true because he sees her. And because he notices the little things no one else seems to pick up on. 

Henry turns on his back again, eyes up to the ceiling. Just as sleep is about to pull him in, he hears the familiar creaking noise of his window being lifted open. He sits up on his bed, back against the wall behind him as he searches for the lightswitch of the lamp on his bedside table. Henry blinks, adjusting his eyes to the dim light in his room. He runs a hand across his face as he looks up, a frown creasing lines on his forehead when he sees Y/N tumbling into his room through the window, falling onto his couch to her right. His eyes widen slightly at the sight of her, and he pulls the bedcovers away from his body as he makes his way to the loft area in his room, climbing the couple of stairs before sitting next to her on the couch, his body turned a little so that he can face her. She doesn’t look at him, but he sees the phone in her hand and he hears the soft sniffles that leave her. His arms find home around her shoulders as he pulls her in closer, and his heart flutters when she rests her head against his shoulder. Her phone falls onto her lap, and he can see the blocked symbol next to her boyfriend’s name on her screen. His chest heaves up as a sigh leaves him, and he mentally curses himself. He doesn’t know why he was expecting anything else, but it does not surprise him that she’s come to him. Again. 

It’s a repetitive circle, ever since she started dating Gareth, her boyfriend. He’d pull her away from her friends, then they’d have a fight, and Henry would be there to pick up the pieces when she’d come to him and break down in his arms. Days later, Y/N would run back to Gareth as if nothing happened, and Henry would be left with another piece of his heart gone with her. He knows it’s not right, that he should put distance between him and Y/N, but then his mind reminds him of how she’s always been there for him after he broke up with his first girlfriend, how she comforted him and helped him change his mind after Chloe and then Bianca left to do a television show in the woods. She’s always been there for him; it’s only right if he’s there for her. Even if his heart breaks a little more each time she walks away. Because even if she’ll never be his, he’ll always be hers.

Y/N is the one to pull away from him, using one hand to wipe away the tears on her cheeks, and her sniffles pull him out of his thoughts. Her eyes drift up to his, and she cracks a thin-lipped smile. Henry tilts his head, sighing. 

“I’m sorry.” Y/N whispers, looking down when she hears him sigh. “I– I should have called…”

“It’s fine, Y/N.” Henry tells her, taking her hand in his. “I couldn’t sleep anyway.”

Y/N chuckles under her breath, looking down at their hands together. The warmth of his skin spreads through hers, and she feels her heart flutter in her chest. She clears her throat, pulling her hand away from his and she looks away from him. 

“He said he needed distance, and I had nowhere to go…” She whispers, scratching the back of her neck. 

Henry knows what she means; his parents are never really here for him, but hers are never there. They’re always traveling abroad for work, only showing up in Swellview twice a year; one time for her birthday, and a second time for Christmas. So Y/N always spends most of her time at work, at his house, or at her boyfriend’s place. 

Henry shakes his head and he scoots closer to her, pulling her hand in his own again. His eyes scan over her features, and a frown creases lines on his forehead when he notices a new bruise on her cheek, and the small cut on her upper lip. He grinds his teeth, biting down on the inside of his cheek to keep his anger simmering beneath the surface. A low sigh leaves his lips instead, and he closes his eyes briefly. 

“You know you’re always welcome here.” He says eventually, looking at her. “Besides, I still have the clothes you forgot the last time you slept here.”

Y/N chuckles at that, and Henry swears it’s the most beautiful sound he’s ever heard. It’s been a while since he’s heard too; he can’t really remember when was the last time he did, but he knows he’s missed it. His heart flutters when she looks him in the eyes with a genuine smile on her lips, and it’s like the anger in him has never existed. His body relaxes, and he finds himself smiling at her.

“I’ll take the couch,” he tells her. “You can take my bed. Make yourself at home.”

Her smile widens. “Thank you Hen.”

She lifts her free hand, pressing her palm against his left cheek and she tilts her head, leaning in to leave a quick kiss on his right one. Henry feels the heat rush to his cheeks as his breath gets caught up in his throat, and he watches as she gets down the couple stairs of the loft area in his room, heading for the bathroom in the hallway after taking her clothes from his closet like she owned the place. He runs a hand through his hair, tugging at it in frustration. What is he doing?

When she returns after a few minutes, Henry notices that she has inadvertently taken a shirt of his out of the closet instead of hers. His breath hitches, and his eyes travel up and down her frame to fully take in the sight of her in his clothes. It’s just his shirt, he knows that, but because he’s always been taller than her, it looks like a dress that stops at her thighs when she wears it, and the short sleeves slide off of her shoulders a little. He can see the edge of her collarbone because she has tied her hair in a messy bun to the back of her head, and Henry blinks, his eyes drifting to anywhere but her. She already has a boyfriend, he tries to remind himself. But that selfish side of him thinks it’s not fair; that he should be the one who gets to see her like this every night. He should be the one who gets to take her out for dinner. He should be the one who gets to give her flowers for no particular reason. He should be the one who gets to tell her he loves her. Not that stupid boyfriend of hers; but him. 

Henry shakes his head, letting out a low, frustrated sigh. From the corner of his eyes he watches as Y/N slips under his bed covers, leaving her locked phone onto his nightstand before she glances his way with a soft smile curling her lips upwards and carving dimples in the curves of her cheeks.

“You’re gonna be okay?” Henry finds himself asking, settling himself onto his couch with a pillow behind his back.

“You’re giving me your bed for the night,” she chuckles, rolling her eyes. “I should be the one asking you that.”

“N– no, I mean… about Gareth. Are you gonna be alright?”

She sighs, fiddling with her fingers in her lap. “Y– yeah, I think. I mean, I miss him… but he needs space. I– I know he’s trying to be better, but we both needed some air tonight. I needed some air. And he needs the distance, even if only for tonight. But I miss him…”

Henry nods, only half-listening to what she’s saying. He doesn’t understand how she can think about going back to Gareth, when all he does is break her heart every time. He doesn’t understand how she stays with her boyfriend when he keeps hurting her, leaving bruises on her skin. And Henry can see the way her shoulders tense when she mentions Gareth, even without saying his name, and how she keeps fumbling with her fingers, picking at her nails. Y/N always does it when she’s anxious, Henry notices. He always notices the little things no one else seems to pick up on; because he cares. But he doesn’t say anything, because she is his best friend and he doesn’t want to lose her.

“Good night, Hen.” Y/N whispers, pulling him out of his thoughts.

He licks his lips and glances towards her. “G’night Y/N.”

As she turns off the lights in his room, Henry takes one last glance at the clock on his bedside table. 2:05 in the morning. Now he’ll definitely fall asleep in class.

—

The last time Henry spoke to Y/N was two weeks earlier, when she’d showed up into his room in the middle of the night after another fight with her boyfriend. He hadn’t talked to her since, and he’d only seen her at school. She’s stopped coming to work as well, but when he tried talking to her at school, she’d look down on the ground and avoid conversation at all cost. She was ignoring him and Henry was pretty sure her boyfriend was the one making her do it.

“Alright Kid.” Ray’s voice catches Henry’s attention. “You’ve been sulking for the last two weeks. What’s going on?”

“It’s Y/N.” Charlotte says bluntly, and Henry glares at her.

“Oh come on, Char!”

“What?” She crosses her arms, holding his gaze. “You’ve been in a mood since Y/N began ignoring you. And, she stopped coming to work.”

“Oh, so you think it’s my fault she’s not coming to work?”

“I didn’t say I did.” Charlotte shrugs.

“What happened with Y/N?” Ray asks before Henry could reply to Charlotte. 

“I don’t know.” Henry sighs, running a hand over his face. “She hasn’t talked to me in two weeks. She’s been avoiding me.”

“Did you do something wrong?”

“Wh– what? No! She came to my place because she’d gotten into a fight with her boyfr–”

Henry stops himself, eyes widening slightly when realization dwells upon him. Of course. He should have known; he should have figured it out sooner. Now that he thinks about it, she hadn’t returned that shirt of his she accidentally borrowed when she came by, and he swears she had been wearing it the next day. At school, where her boyfriend was. Henry groans, throwing his head back in annoyance.

“Stupid Gareth…” Henry mutters under his breath.

Charlotte frowns, having caught on. “What about Gareth?”

“He’s a fucking asshole, that’s what he is.”

“Who’s Gareth?” Ray asks, frowning.

Charlotte begins to answer, but she barely gets a word out as the emergency alarm begins to echo across the Man Cave. Henry jumps on his feet, walking over to the supercomputer. An emergency is what he needs to keep his mind off of everything else. He presses one of the larger buttons on the control panel, his muscle memory guiding his movements. After five years of working as Captain Man’s sidekick, you do pick up on a few things around here. The Man Cave sort of became his second home. 

“Captain Man’s emergency line, how may we punch your problem?”

Henry speaks up, taking sight of Charlotte sitting on the chair to his right with her hands roaming over the control panel to try and pinpoint the location of the call, and he feels Ray standing behind him, probably with his hands on his hips as he looks to the screen. 

Henry frowns when no one answers, but he can hear them breathing through the phone line. It’s ragged, coming out in hiccups, and faintly in the distance he can discern the sound of objects clattering onto the ground. He pulls his bottom lip between his teeth, frowning.

“This is Kid Danger speaking, how may I help you?” He tries again, worriedly glancing at Charlotte.

He doesn’t want to say anything, but his heart leaps in his chest, his heartbeat quickening with every second that passes by. He still doesn’t know where the phone call comes from, but judging by the person’s silence his mind plays him all the worst scenarios he can imagine. Y/N still occupies the corner of his mind, and this phone call is one that is way too familiar for Henry’s liking. A week after his birthday, she’d given him a call, and the beginning had been just like this one.

“Oh, shit… Henry?”

He hears Charlotte whisper next to him, and he turns to look at her when she nudges his side. She points a finger at one of the five monitors of the supercomputer, and Henry follows her finger to the green letters displayed on the screen. He squeezes his eyes shut, pinching the bridge of his nose with one hand. He takes a deep breath to try and calm his nerves. Y/N’s home address is blinking in green letters on one of the computer’s monitors, and Henry feels a shiver down his spine. Why did he have to be right about this?

“Hey, Y/N?” He calls out, ignoring Ray’s confused look. “I– I’m right here, okay? I’m still on the phone with you. Can you– can you leave the house?”

His stomach drops when he hears her whimper through the phone, and he clenches his fists at his sides. Chills run down his spine when he hears more clattering on the other side of the line, followed by Y/N’s quiet sobs. Then he hears footsteps, and something like a window being open and a soft thud as if someone had fallen on the ground. He swallows back the lump in his throat, his heartbeat quickening beneath his chest. There’s a hand on his shoulder, Henry can feel it and when he glances to his left, Ray is there with a worried look in his eyes. He may not show it in the right way because he acts like a man-child more often than not, but Henry knows Ray cares for the kids he works with, including Y/N. 

“I– I’m… out…”

Y/N’s voice brings Henry back to look helplessly at the screens. Through the phone, he can hear she’s panting, her footsteps clacking against the ground. She’s running, he tells himself. He lets out a relieved sigh; at least she’s getting away from her boyfriend. 

“Can you make it to Junk’N’Stuff?” He asks her, worried. “Or do you need me to pick you up somewhere?”

“I can– Junk’N’Stuff– is fine…”

“O– okay, I’ll– I’ll go up to the store and wait for you, alright? And Ray and Charlotte are gonna stay on the phone with you, okay?”

She doesn’t answer him, but he knows she’s heard him. Ray clasps his shoulder, and Henry takes it as his queue to leave the Man Cave. He knows Jasper has closed the junk store around half an hour earlier, so no one is up there. Henry prefers it that way, because then he’ll have the time alone with Y/N. No one but him actually knows just how bad it’s gotten between her and Gareth, because she always hid her bruises with makeup and for some reason, not even Charlotte had noticed. And his brain keeps picturing the worst-case scenarios, making his heart beat faster as he steps inside the elevator and presses on the store’s up button. 

When he’s up in the store, he waits by the front door, eyes darting to the outdoors for any sign of her until he sees her, catching her breath as she leans under a lamppost. He opens the door, and he sees her lift her head when she hears the bells jingling. He notices the look of relief on her face when she spots him, hanging up her phone and shoving it in the back pocket of her pants before she rushes toward him. She stumbles on her feet, exhausted, but Henry is there to catch her, his arms wrapping around her waist to keep her on her feet. 

“It’s okay, I’ve got you. I’ve got you.” Henry mutters in a reassuring way as he leads her inside.

He can hear her muffled cries against his chest as he closes the shop’s front door with the heel of his foot, and her body trembles in his arms.

“I’m right here.” He whispers as he moves his hands to hold the sides of her face. “You’re safe now; he can’t hurt you.”

At first he can’t see her features, but when he brushes her hair away from her face that’s when he spots her busted lip, and the darkening bruise around her left eye. There is a large bleeding cut across her right eyebrow arch, and a few smaller ones all over the right side of her face, as if something sharp had been thrown in her face. Her cheeks are reddened by the tears that escape her eyes, her lips trembling with every sharp breath she takes. 

Henry’s face pales when he takes in the sight of her, his heart dropping. He knows that no matter what he says, or does, she will run back to her boyfriend after a day or two. Like she always does. But the selfish side of him knows that he cannot let her go back to Gareth; he cannot risk her being hurt again. Yesterday it was a few bruises, tonight it’s a few cuts and a black eye, but tomorrow? Tomorrow still isn’t set in stone, but he can’t let her risk her life again; no matter how much she claims to love her boyfriend. 

He closes his eyes, taking a deep breath before he sneaks an arm under her kneecaps and the other around her shoulder blades, picking her up bridal style. He feels her wrap her arms around his shoulders for support, and he feels her bury her face in the crook of his neck. He makes his way around the shop with her in his arms, going towards the elevator in the back shop. With agility, he steps inside the elevator and presses down onto the Man Cave button. He can feel her slow breath against his skin; it sends shivers down his spine, and when he looks down at her, he sees she’s somehow fallen asleep in his arms. He smiles a little, sighing when the elevator dings open, and he sees Ray and Charlotte sitting on the round couch in the middle of the Man Cave, with worried looks on their faces. He shakes his head when they glance up to him, and he dips his chin toward Y/N. Charlotte nods in understanding, but Ray frowns, taking note of the dried blood he spots on the girl’s shirt. 

Henry ignores Ray’s questioning gaze as he makes his way to the sprocket, disappearing in the hallway that leads to the few bedrooms the Man Cave has to offer. He walks past the one with a big “DO NOT ENTER” sign hung on the door, well-aware that it is Ray’s room and he will not make the mistake of stepping inside a second time. Then, there is Schwoz’s guest bedroom, and the one his sister Winnie uses when she comes to visit. Henry keeps on walking until he makes it to the end of the hallway, using his foot to push open the door to the last guest bedroom.  

Y/N stirs up in his arms just as he puts her down on the mattress, and he sits beside her, smiling when she opens her eyes. The blood on her face is now dry and sticks to her skin, and Henry frowns, standing up without a word to look for a first-aid kit in one of the drawers in the room’s closet. When he returns to the bed with the red case in his hand, Y/N is sitting up on the mattress, leaning against the backrest behind her, and she watches as he pulls out some cotton pads and the antiseptic spray from the kit. 

“It might sting a little.” Henry whispers as he brings a cotton to her face.

She nods, allowing him to clean the cuts on her cheeks and across her eyebrow arch, wincing in pain and gritting her teeth. But she keeps her eyes on her best friend, watching as his wrinkled brows carve a line on his forehead, and how his nose scrunches up whenever she lets out a wince. She sees the worry in his chocolate irises when he leans back, his eyes drifting across her features to make sure he’s cleaned every bit of dried blood off of her face.

“Thank you.” She whispers, reaching for his hand. 

“You can’t keep going back to him, Y/N.” Henry blurts out all of the sudden, pulling his hand away from hers.

Y/N frowns. “He’s my boyfriend, Hen. And I love him.”

“I know you do, I just– I’m not sure he loves you, too.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Seriously, Y/N?”

Henry’s frowns deepens as he stands up, and Y/N’s smile falters, her lips pressed into a thin line as she watches him pace back and forth in front of her, frustratedly tugging at his hair. She shakes her head, heaving out a sigh. Henry stops pacing, hands on his hips as he turns to her.

“Do you know how hard it is?” He begins, scowling. “To be the one to fix you, wh– when all you do is run back to the one who breaks your heart?” He takes a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You’ve been with him for six months, and every time something happens between the two of you, who do you run to? Me! I’m always here to pick up the pieces of your broken heart, and every fucking time you go back to that piece of shit as if nothing happened! I know we’re best friends Y/N, and I know you’ve always been there for me when I had girl problems but, fuck, you’re making this too hard…” He inhales sharply, running a hand over his face.

Henry doesn’t dare to look at her, at first, and he isn’t sure that he wants to. He probably has ruined their friendship but at this point, he doesn’t care. He needed to tell her everything; he needed to tell her how he feels about her, and damn the consequences.

“I can’t keep on pretending that this isn’t hurting me, too.” He sighs, resuming his pacing. “I can’t keep on pretending that watching you getting hurt by the man who claims to love you doesn’t break my heart every fucking time, because it does. It does break my heart to see you hurt.” He stops pacing then, finally looking at her. “I can’t stand to see you getting hurt by him every single time, and I can’t keep on having my heart broken every time you run back to him. So if you want to go back to him, I’m not holding you back, but I won’t be there to pick up the pieces when he breaks your heart again.”

His eyes sting as he blinks back the tears in his tear ducts. He won’t let her see him cry. He inhales sharply, his gaze drifting away to look anywhere but her. The silence in the room is suffocating, and Henry feels his chest tightens with each passing second. He’s too afraid to move, his feet anchored to the ground, and he’s scared of what she might say. He hears her shift on the mattress, wincing a little when she moves around, and then he can feel her standing close to him. Y/N brings one hand up, and he feels the warmth of her palm against his skin, her touch soft on his right cheek. With a soft pressure, she turns his face to hers, and Henry is forced to look at her. Her gentle smile lightens her features, reaching her glossy and bright eyes. Her head is slightly tilted to the side as her eyes roam over his features, her thumb delicately brushing over his flushed cheekbone. 

“I can’t keep on being hurt by you, Y/N…” Henry whispers, his voice wavering as he takes a sharp breath.

“I don’t want to be the one hurting you, Hen.” Her voice is soft when she speaks up, and a single tear runs down her cheek. “And I am sorry for ever hurting you. I just–”

“I know…” Henry sighs, defeated. “You’re in love with him.”

“It’s not– it’s not that simple…” Y/N sighs. “I can’t– I can’t just leave him.”

She drops her hand back to her side, sitting back on the mattress’ edge, and she begins to anxiously fiddle with her fingers in her lap. Henry frowns when he no longer feels her touch, and he sits next to her. His hands find hers, and he takes them in his to stop her from torturing her fingers. 

“You don’t– you don’t have to do this alone, you know.” He tells her, his tone gentle. “If you want to leave him, I’m right here with you, I promise.”

“I– I’m scared of what he’ll do if– if I leave him…”

“Y/N…” He lets go of her hands to hold her face in his, making her look his way. “You know he’s not right for you. He keeps hurting you, physically. Emotionally too, I bet, because it’s the first time in two weeks that we’re talking. You deserve so much better than that piece of shit.” He smiles when she laughs at that. “You deserve a gentleman that will treat you right, take you out for dinner and give you flowers for no specific reason. I’ve known you my whole life Y/N; you’re one of a kind, and you deserve someone who’ll love you with all their heart. Not someone like Gareth…”

“But, someone… like you?”

Henry falls silent next to her, because as much as he loves her, he didn’t think she’d catch on to what he was trying to tell her. Does he want her to be his girlfriend? Yes. Does he want to be her boyfriend? Also, yes. But he knows the things she’s been through with Gareth, and as much as he loves her, he’s smart enough to know that if she leaves her boyfriend, she will need time to heal from that relationship. He’s willing to wait; for her, he’d wait a lifetime, because he wants nothing more than to see her happy.

“One day. Maybe.” He whispers, brushing his thumb over the cuts on her cheek. “But you’re not alone, Y/N. You have me. And Charlotte, and Jasper. Even Piper, or Ray and Schwoz. I know you, and I know you have the strength to leave him, even if you think you can’t. You’re the strongest person I know, and you deserve to be happy.”

“Okay.” She breathes out, smiling.

“O– okay?”

She hums softly, chuckling when he lets out a relieved sigh. Maybe he was right to tell her how he felt. Maybe he was right to tell her what he thought of her relationship with her boyfriend. Because maybe, just maybe, it opened the possibility of something more. Because maybe, just maybe, one day he would get to call her his.

ⓒ writerinlearning – 2025

[pottersmiracle]

Studying

Harry Potter x Fem! Reader

warnings: fluff-harry crushing on reader-use of y/n-added in that every student has their own dorm-first kiss 🙈

summary: harry never seems to focus when he studies, until now.

a/n: kinda long but swet <3

Masterlist

Harry was sitting in the library as he studied for their upcoming potion's quiz for Professor Snape's class. Harry was growing bored by the minute, every time Harry tried to doze off Hermione would notice and snap her fingers in his face or hit him with her wand. Which hurt quite a bit, and he definitely didn't want that again. But, he also just felt like he couldn't focus. He kept drowning out Ron and Hermione's constant bickering.

"Hermione can he please just take one break?" Ron pleaded noticing how tired he was. “Just watching him doze off is making me tired.”

“No Ronald! Do you really want him to fail another potions quiz and have Snape pressuring him even more? If you think he’s tired now i’d like to see him after that.” Hermione mumbled the last bit.

“She’s right Ron. I just.. need to find something to focus on so i can stay awake.” Harry said making Ron roll his eyes, “she’s always right.” Hermione hit him with her book making him groan and apologize.

Harry ignored them again, letting his eyes wander around the library. Then he saw her, y/n, the girl he’s been crushing on since their first year. They were best friends but he wanted to be more, so much more.

She noticed him almost immediately and smiled at him, he hoped she didnt notice the slight red hue on his cheeks as he smiled back at her. She said something to her friends and started walking over to him, making him instantly sit up straight.

“Hey Harry.” She said walking up with a smile. “Hey, uh, how are you?” He asked swallowing his nerves. “Better now that i’m talking to you.” She said with a smile. Now his blushing had to be noticeable after that.

He laughed and Hermione cut in, “thank goodness you’re here. You’re great at potions aren’t you? I’ve heard you in class you’re brilliant.” Y/n was taken aback at Hermione calling her a genius, Hermione was known as one of the smartest wizards of her age by most of the teachers after all.

“I’m certainly not a genius but i am fairly good at potions yes.” She answered. “Great. Could you try getting Harry to focus? Trying to get him to actually learn something is incredibly difficult.” She complained as Harry looked honestly offended.

“I can surely try.” She said laughing at Hermione’s comment. Hermione scooted over so y/n could sit across from Harry. Harry was certainly focused now and they hadn’t even started studying yet. This should be fun.

——

It had been almost an hour since y/n had sat down and started studying with Harry and Harry had already learned more from her then he had from Snape in the past 4 years. Hermione and Ron had certainly noticed that Harry was listening the whole time, and getting questions y/n asked him right.

“Students, it is now time to go back to your dormitories, the library is closed.” Professor McGonagall announced walking into the library. Y/n looked at Harry, “wanna continue this in my dorm? We only have one other chapter to go in this lesson if you’d like to finish it up.”

Harry wasn’t stupid, he wasn’t gonna say no to this. Not only was he actually learning something but he was just getting closer and closer to the girl he was in love with. “Yeah absolutely.” Harry responded. Y/n gathered the books as Harry looked at Hermione and Ron, Hermione was rolling her eyes and shaking her head with a smile, Rom subtly elbowed him and smirked at him.

“I’ll see you both tomorrow morning at breakfast yeah?” Harry said. “Yeah we’ll see you both tomorrow. Goodnight y/n!” Hermione said, waving to y/n who was putting away the books they didn’t need. “Night you two!” She responded waving back before handing Neville a book he had been waiting to read after they were finished.

——

They were in her dorm on her bed sitting across from each other. They had finished the book and was now just talking. About class, quidditch, family, anything they could think of. Harry was loving every second of it, he didn’t know that y/n was too.

As she closed the textbook to put it away, a charged tension lingered in the room. Their eyes met, and he couldn't help but stutter, "You know, this studying thing was... surprisingly enjoyable." She smirked, replying with a teasing tone, "Yeah, who knew potions could be so thrilling?" In the hushed atmosphere, their lips finally met, setting off a bomb of emotions that had been building with every exchanged glance and stolen touch during their study sessions.

After their lips parted, a gentle silence enveloped them. He chuckled nervously, breaking the quiet, "Well, that wasn't exactly studying was it." She blushed, "No, but I'd say it was more interesting." They shared a lighthearted laugh, the awkwardness fading into a newfound comfort.

He gently grabbed her hand, holding it in his as she rested her head on his shoulder, both smiling and laughing with each other.

It was perfect.

[ruewrote]

𝑏𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑛 ℎ𝑒 𝑐𝑎𝑛.

PAIRING: josh washington x fem!reader WARNINGS: jealousy, arguments, no use of y/n GENRE: angst, enemies to lovers SONG INSPIRATION: treat you better by shawn mendes WORD COUNT: 4.6k REQUESTED: yes

navigation | ask | josh washington masterlist

you weren’t exactly sure how you ended up in this mess. two guys, one you were trying to like and one you couldn’t help but like, bickering over the dumbest things. their voices faded into the background as you stared out the frost lined window, watching the snowfall in thick, silent sheets.

it was your favourite time of year, your annual invitation to the washington lodge. hannah and beth always made you feel like family, holding a special place for you in their hearts ever since you’d befriended them in school. the first time they brought you to their mountain retreat, you were floored.

you still remembered wandering through the massive house with wide eyes, marveling at how luxurious it was. you had an idea that they were rich when they asked you to come with them to a cabin lodge of all places, but damn.

there was an embarrassing amount of times where you’d gotten turned around in the sprawling halls, having to call them in embarrassment to come find you. they used to laugh so hard at your awe struck reaction.

years had passed since then, and you’d grown more comfortable with the place. it almost felt like a second home now, complete with a guest room they’d decorated just for you. “so it feels like yours,” they’d said, insisting it was only fair since you spent so much time there.

but this year was different. this year, you’d brought someone with you. derek.

when the invitation arrived, you’d asked if you could bring him along without much thought. it had been a few months, and things with him were going well enough– or at least well enough to keep your mind off the one person you shouldn’t be thinking about.

at first, you thought it was a good idea. but standing in the lodge’s grand entryway, you started to regret it.

hannah and beth greeted you like always, pulling you into tight hugs, their excitement infectious. then their eyes landed on derek, and everything about their demeanor shifted.

“oh my god,” she grins wide. “who’s this cutie?”

“don’t hold out on us!” hannah added, elbowing you playfully.

jessica and emily weren’t far behind, their expressions lighting up the second they noticed derek.

“wait, wait, hold up,” jessica said, flipping her hair over her shoulder as she gave you a sly smile. “who’s this, and why didn’t we know about him sooner?”

emily crossed her arms, raising a brow. “yeah, seriously. is he single? or…?”

you tried to keep it casual as you introduced him, brushing off their teasing with a wave of your hand. derek, of course, handled it smoothly, flashing them a disarming smile.

“nice to meet you all,” he said before turning to you. “i’ll take our bags upstairs while you catch up.”

then, as if on cue, he leaned down and pressed a kiss to your cheek.

the second he disappeared up the stairs, chaos erupted.

hannah and beth squealed, sam grabbed onto your arm while beth gave you a knowing look. “okay, spill. everything.”

“seriously, we need the deets,” jessica chimed in, smirking.

“or at least a timeline,” emily added, looking almost impressed.

before you could even get a word in, josh appeared, chris trailing behind him with his hands stuffed in his jacket pockets.

josh’s gaze darted toward the stairs, his brow furrowing as he pointed a thumb in the direction where derek had gone. “so.. care telling me who that was?”

chris leaned in slightly, adjusting his glasses. “yeah, do we know him, or…?”

josh’s eyes flicked to the stairs where derek had disappeared, his lips pressing into a thin line. 

"you already know who he is, josh! you’ve known about him for weeks," hannah groaned, exasperation clear in her voice.

beth stepped in quickly, her tone cheerful as she nudged josh’s arm. “please don’t start. he seems sweet. right, girls?”

they all nod enthusiastically. “totally. i mean, it’s about time you brought someone, and he’s cute. good job.” sam playfully nudges you.

“thanks,” you said, smiling at her, grateful for the distraction. but josh’s scoff pulled your attention right back to him.

“what?” you asked, folding your arms.

“nothing,” josh said, the word practically dripping with something. he leaned back against the wall, his hands shoved into his pockets. “i mean, i’m just saying it’s bold, bringing a guy you barely know to a place like this. kind of soon, don’t you think?”

jessica’s laugh chimed from behind you as she sauntered into the group, casually tossing her hair over her shoulder. “oh, come on, josh. if she brought him all the way up here, he can’t be that bad,” she said, smiling. 

josh’s jaw tightened, but he forced a smile. “oh, sure.”

you sighed, exasperated. “josh, seriously? what’s your deal?”

“my deal?” he echoed, his voice louder now, as if he couldn’t believe what you’d asked. “i don’t have a deal. just making observations.”

“uh huh,” emily said as she strolled over, crossing her arms with a teasing grin. she glanced at josh, her tone light but pointed. “let me guess, derek doesn’t quite measure up to whatever impossible standards you’ve set, huh?”

josh’s smile was thin, his tone sharp. “i’m just looking out for her. isn’t that what friends do?”

you clenched your fists at your sides, willing yourself to stay calm. “you don’t even know him, josh.”

“and you do?” josh shot back.

the words stung more than they should have, and you had to take a steadying breath before responding. “you’re unbelievable.”

beth stepped between you, raising her hands. “okay, that’s enough. let’s not ruin the weekend before it’s even started.”

“yeah,” hannah agreed, looping her arm through yours and pulling you toward the kitchen. “hot cocoa, anyone? let’s leave the drama here, please.”

you glanced back as hannah steered you away, meeting josh's gaze for a fleeting moment. his eyes were locked on you, lingering with an unspoken weight, like he was on the verge of saying something but held back. the tension between you was thick, undeniable, and the worst part? 

you weren’t sure you wanted to look away.

the next few days were nothing short of a nightmare. every moment felt like walking on eggshells, with josh finding any excuse to nitpick derek. whether it was a sly comment during dinner or a backhanded compliment when everyone was relaxing, he didn’t hold back.

derek, to his credit, didn’t let it slide. he defended himself every time, the tension between them escalating with every exchange. what started as petty jabs turned into full on arguments, and you found yourself caught in the middle, exhausted and drained.

most nights ended with you retreating to your room, shutting the door behind you,  collapsing onto the bed in frustration. the dark, quiet space became your only refuge as you rubbed your temples and tried to breathe through the stress. this wasn’t what you wanted. this wasn’t how the trip was supposed to go.

the breaking point came on the second to last day. you had spent hours trying to convince yourself to push through, but the tension was unbearable. by the evening, you made up your mind, you were done.

derek had already packed earlier that afternoon, his patience worn thin by josh’s constant jabs. you followed suit, pulling your suitcase out and beginning to fold your clothes in stiff silence. the thought of leaving early filled you with guilt, but you couldn’t stay, not like this.

when the others found out, it was pure chaos.

“are you serious?” beth said, her voice a mix of disbelief and sadness. “you’re leaving already?”

“just one more night,” hannah begged, clutching your arm. “please. it’s not the same without you.”

emily, practical but no less emotional, sighed as she crossed her arms. “i get it, but… don’t let this ruin the trip. you’ll regret it later.”

jessica leaned against the doorway, her lips pursed. “you came to reconnect, right? don’t let one person ruin that.”

their words tugged at your heart, but it didn’t change anything. not really. how could you stay with josh acting the way he was?

the worst part was the goodbyes. hugging each of them one by one, your chest tightened as tears pricked your eyes. you blinked them back, but it was no use.

“i’m sorry,” you whispered as you pulled back from hannah’s embrace. “i just… i can’t.”

“it’s not fair,” beth murmured, her own voice cracking.

“i know,” you said, barely able to meet her gaze. “i’ll make it up to you, i promise.”

when it came time to face josh, your stomach churned. he stood off to the side, hands shoved in his pockets, his face clouded with guilt. for once, he didn’t have anything snarky to say, no quip to throw out.

“you got what you wanted,” you said, your voice low, but it wasn’t enough to contain the way you were feeling. your chest ached with the weight of everything left unsaid, you couldn’t stop yourself.

“do you even realise what you’ve done?” you continued, your voice breaking as tears blurred your vision. “this was supposed to be a chance to reconnect with everyone. to have fun, to forget about everything else for a little while. but you… you made it unbearable.”

josh’s face fell, his guilt deepening as he opened his mouth to speak, but you didn’t give him the chance.

“you couldn’t just let me have this, could you?” you said, your voice rising. “you had to turn it into something miserable, and what makes it worse is that i don’t even know why. is it derek? is it me? what could i have possibly done to make you act like this?”

your words hung heavy in the air, and for a moment, josh looked like he might crumble. his hands fidgeted in his pockets, his lips parted as if he wanted to respond, but the silence dragged on.

“say something, josh!” you pleaded, the tears now streaming down your face. “anything. just tell me why you’ve been acting like this, because i can’t keep doing this. i can’t keep feeling like i’m walking into a fight every time i’m near you!”

josh took a hesitant step toward you, his brows furrowed in anguish. “i didn’t mean to ruin anything,” he said, his voice quiet and unsteady. “i just–”

“just what?” you interrupted, your voice trembling as you met his gaze. “do you even care how much this has hurt me? how hard it’s been trying to enjoy any of this while you go out of your way to make it miserable?”

he stared at you, his jaw clenching as his eyes searched yours, but he didn’t answer. the silence stung worse than anything he could’ve said, and it tore you apart.

“you know what?” you said, your voice breaking into a whisper. “forget it. i’m seriously done trying to figure you out, have a nice life, josh.”

with that, you turned and walked out of the lodge, leaving him standing there, the tension between you heavier than ever before.

after everything that went down at the lodge, breaking things off with derek was inevitable. it wasn’t dramatic or messy. if anything, it was almost too simple. the two of you mutually agreed it was for the best, leaving no lingering bitterness between you. but that didn’t stop the guilt from eating at you.

you felt terrible for dragging him up there in the first place. what had you been thinking? inviting someone you barely knew into such an intimate, emotionally charged space? you should’ve realised it was a bad idea from the start, but at the time, it had seemed like a good idea. a way to ignore the feelings you didn’t want to face.

but in the days after returning home, the weight of it all became too much. the memories of the trip. the tension, the arguments, josh’s lingering silence, played on a loop in your mind. it wasn’t just derek’s presence that had made things unravel. you couldn’t deny your own part in it.

to avoid dealing with it, you buried yourself in your school work. early mornings bled into late nights spent with your nose in textbooks, typing out assignments until your eyes blurred from exhaustion. it was easier to drown in deadlines and projects than to confront everything that stayed in the back of your mind.

your friends had noticed the change in you. they texted and called, checking in to make sure you were okay, and you answered them. most of them, anyway. you reassured them with simple responses, making excuses for why you hadn’t been in touch more. 

telling them you were just busy with school, just needed some time to yourself. but the truth was, you didn’t know what to say, and the idea of explaining everything felt like too much to deal with.

as the days went by, the silence grew. every time your phone buzzed, you had the urge to reach out. to tell the people who were closest to you what you were feeling, to spill all the frustration, guilt, and confusion that had piled up inside of you since the trip. but you kept it all in.

you’d muted the washington's messages, the endless string of “are you okay?” texts too much to handle. it wasn’t that you didn’t appreciate their concern, you did, but you knew that the moment you tried to talk about it, you’d break. you weren’t ready for that.

one night, as the weight of everything seemed to crash down on you, you were sitting on your couch, mindlessly scrolling through your phone, when there came a knock at the door. you didn’t immediately jump up. your first thought was that it was just another mistake. a package, maybe, or a misdelivered letter..

but the knock came again, more persistent this time.

you rose to your feet cautiously, searching your mind for any reason someone might be here. but no matter how hard you tried to piece it together, you weren’t expecting anyone, especially at a time like this.

you opened the door, and there josh stood, with his shoulders slightly hunched, his expression unreadable. your breath hitching at the sight of him..

he looked different. a little worn, like he hadn't been sleeping. his eyes met yours for a long moment, and you could see the hesitation in them.

“hey,” josh speaks quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. his hands were shoved deep into his pockets, his body posture defensive yet somehow vulnerable. “can we talk?”

your heart thudded in your chest. you didn’t know what to say. part of you wanted to slam the door and walk away from all of it. from this entire mess. but another part of you, the part you’d been ignoring for weeks now, knew you couldn’t just keep avoiding him.

you stepped aside wordlessly, your throat tight, he hesitated for a second before entering.

neither of you said a word at first, the silence deafening between you. when josh finally spoke, his voice was rough, as though he’d been holding back for longer than he cared to admit.

“i’ve been a mess,” josh admitted, his hand running through his hair in frustration. he glanced at you, his eyes searching for any kind of reaction, as if trying to gauge how much damage had been done. 

“i didn’t... i didn’t know how to fix it. i didn’t know how to fix what i fucked up between us.”

“josh, you can’t just show up like this,” you said, your voice quieter than you meant for it to be. “you can’t just come here and expect everything to be okay.”

“i know,” he said, his voice thick with regret. “i don’t expect it to be okay. i just... i couldn’t leave it like this. i wanted to explain what happened. why i acted like i did.”

you closed your eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath. you weren’t sure what you were expecting from this, but it wasn’t a clean resolution. there were too many things unsaid, too much left to work through. still, his presence here, his willingness to face what had been left in the air, meant something. 

even if you didn’t know what it meant yet.

“i don’t even know where to start,” you said, frustration rising in your voice. “why did you push me away, josh? i don’t understand. i’ve only ever been good to you, why wasn’t that enough?”

josh let out a shaky breath, his hands falling to his sides. “because it was easier to pretend i didn’t care than to deal with how much i actually do,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. “you were always there for me, and i didn’t know how to handle that. i didn’t think i deserved it. so, i pushed you away, acted like it didn’t matter—like you didn’t matter—because i was scared of what it meant if you did.”

“do you not see how this has made me feel? no matter how hard i tried, nothing was ever good enough for you. i was never good enough.” your eyes are stuck firmly on the ground.

josh’s face fell, and for a moment, he looked completely undone. “that’s not true,” he said quickly, his voice raw. “you were always good enough—more than good enough. i was the one who wasn’t. i didn’t know how to let you in because... because i didn’t think i could be what you deserved.”

you shook your head, anger and hurt twisting in your chest. “so instead of trying, you just shut me out? you made me feel like i was wasting my time, like i didn’t matter.”

“i know,” he said, his voice breaking. “i know i hurt you, and i hate myself for it. i hate that i made you feel that way. but the truth is, you’re the only thing that’s ever made me feel like maybe i wasn’t completely falling apart. and i didn’t know how to handle that, either.”

his words hung in the air, heavy and vulnerable, but they didn’t erase the pain he’d caused. “you can’t just say that and expect me to forgive you,” you said, your voice trembling. “you don’t get to hurt me and then turn around and admit your feelings like it makes everything okay.”

“i’m not asking for forgiveness,” josh said quietly, stepping closer, his eyes locked on yours. “i’m asking for a chance to prove i’m not that guy anymore. to prove that you mean more to me than i ever let you see.”

"where we stand?" you shot back, your voice unsteady. "we’re standing in the mess you made, josh, and i’m the one who’s been left to clean it up."

josh’s voice rose as he stepped forward, his frustration finally breaking through. “you think i don’t know what i did to you? you think i don’t lie awake every night wishing i could take it back?”

you stood your ground, stepping closer. “what about me, josh? do you have any idea how it felt to keep reaching out, only for you to shut me out over and over? i tried, and it felt like you didn’t even care.”

his jaw clenched, his hand running through his hair as he closed the gap between you. “i didn’t know how to deal with anything! i was falling apart, and instead of dragging you down with me, i thought i was doing the right thing by pushing you away!”

“that wasn’t your call to make!” you shot back, your voice shaking with anger. “you don’t get to decide what’s best for me, josh! i needed you, and all you did was make me feel like i wasn’t enough!”

his eyes flashed, his breath shallow as he took another step forward. “you weren’t the problem! i was! i didn’t know how to let you in– i was scared! you deserve someone better, someone who didn’t treat you like crap because he couldn’t figure out his own shit!”

“and yet, i stayed!” you yelled, your face now inches from his. “i stayed, josh! i kept trying, no matter how much you pushed me away! do you even realise how much that hurt? how much it took out of me to keep fighting for someone who didn’t want to fight for me?”

he was so close now that you could feel the heat radiating off him, his voice trembling as he spoke. “i wanted to fight for you, i did. i just didn’t know how. i didn’t know how to be enough for you, and instead of trying, i ran like a coward. i fucked up, okay? i fucked up, and i hate myself for it.”

your chest was heaving, the intensity between you almost suffocating. “and what am i supposed to do with that, josh? what do you want me to say? that it’s okay? that it doesn’t matter?”

“no,” he speaks quietly. “i don’t want you to say it’s okay. i want you to know that i’m here now, ready to fight for you if you’ll let me. but if you can’t... if it’s too late, then i’ll take that too. just... tell me where we stand.”

the silence that followed was deafening, as you both waited for what would come next.

“and what’s your excuse for the way you treated derek, huh?”

josh’s eyes darkened, his frustration boiling over. “derek?” he repeated, his tone sharp. “yeah, let’s talk about him. let’s talk about how he couldn’t mind his own damn business for five seconds.”

your brow furrowed, anger rising in your chest. “what are you even talking about? derek was nothing but sweet. he didn’t do anything to you, josh.”

josh took another step closer, his jaw tightening. “didn’t do anything? are you serious? he was always acting like he’s better than me, like he knows what’s best for you, for everyone!”

you crossed your arms, refusing to back down. “you mean he was looking out for me? god forbid someone actually gives a damn and calls you out when you’re being a jerk!”

josh let out a bitter laugh, his frustration spilling out in waves. “looking out for you? no, he was trying to play the hero. always in your ear, always making himself the good guy. don’t think i didn’t notice the way he acted around you, like he was just waiting for me to screw up so he could swoop in!”

“that’s insane,” you snapped, stepping closer until you were nearly toe to toe with him. “derek wasn’t trying to replace you, josh. he was doing nothing wrong! you had to nitpick every little thing he did and turn it into some kind of competition!”

josh’s eyes flared with emotion, his voice rising. “maybe i didn’t want him there, okay? maybe i couldn’t stand the thought of him getting closer to you than i was. i already felt like i was losing you, and every time he opened his mouth, it just made it worse!”

“you weren’t losing me, josh,” you said, your voice trembling with both anger and hurt. “but you sure as hell are now. because instead of letting me in, instead of trusting me, you let your jealousy control everything. you treated him like shit, and you pushed me away. and for what? to protect your pride?”

josh’s voice cracked as he stepped even closer, his face inches from yours. “no, to protect you! i didn’t know how to let you see me falling apart. i didn’t know how to handle it, so yeah, i acted like an ass. but you’ve got it all wrong if you think it was about pride. it was about you– it’s always been about you.”

his words echo in your mind as you stare at him, trying to process the mess between you both. 

both of your breaths were shallow, hurried, the tension thick enough to drown in. his eyes flickered between yours and your lips, and you could feel the heat radiating off him as if the air itself was conspiring to close the gap.

josh’s voice was low, almost desperate, as he finally broke the silence. “how could i tell you how much i’ve longed for you? without making a complete idiot of myself?”

you held his focus, the words hitting you harder than you expected, but you weren’t going to let him off that easily. your lips curved into a faint, defiant smile as you whispered, “looks like you’ve already done that.”

his breath hitched, a flicker of surprise and something deeper flashing in his eyes, every inch of space narrowing as if pulled by gravity, daring one of you to cross it.

the seconds dragged on, the tension between you unbearable, as you both stood there. your hearts were racing, breaths shallow.

josh’s eyes flickered to your lips, then back to your eyes. there was so much unspoken between you. so much hurt, so much yearning, it all hung in the air, pulling you closer.

his chest rose and fell with every breath, his fingers still gripping your wrist, but his touch was different now, gentler, your own heart was pounding in your ears, every inch of you screaming to cross that line, to close the gap between you, but something, something, kept you both frozen.

josh’s face softened, his eyes dark with something deeper, more intense. he licked his lips, breath trembling slightly.

“you have no idea how badly i’ve wanted this,” he rasped, the words low, rough, full of that simmering desire that had been building between you.

before you could respond, before the weight of your thoughts could take over, josh closed the distance. his lips crashed against yours, a kiss so intense it knocked the breath out of you. it was like everything was finally set loose. all of the frustration, the longing, the anger. all of it poured into that one desperate, searing kiss. his hands moved, one gripping your waist, pulling you closer, while the other threaded into your hair, his fingers tangling desperately, almost painfully, as if he couldn’t bear the space between you any longer.

your fingers curled into his shirt, holding him there, refusing to let the moment end, feeling the rapid beat of his heart beneath your fingers. there was nothing tentative about this kiss, it was hungry, impatient, as if both of you were desperate to make up for all the time you had wasted, all the things you had never said, never done.

his hands squeezed at your waist, pulling you impossibly closer.

your fingers curled into his shirt, holding him there, refusing to let the moment end. his lips moved against yours with an urgency that matched your own, the kiss deepening with each passing second.

when you finally pulled apart, gasping for air, his forehead rested against yours. his eyes searched yours, filled with something that looked a lot like vulnerability.

“i’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice hoarse and barely audible. “for everything.”

you shook your head, your hands still gripping his shirt as if letting go wasn’t an option. “you don’t have to say anything,” you murmured, “just don’t push me away again.”

josh’s jaw tightened as he cupped your face in his hands, his thumb brushing against your cheek. “i won’t. i swear, i won’t.”

his hand slid to the back of your neck, gently pulling you back in for a kiss. this one softer, quieter, as if testing the waters. when he pulled back, his thumb brushed over your lip, and he gave a small, almost nervous smile.

“i’m not perfect,” he said quietly, his voice steadying with each word. “but i’ll do better. i swear i will.”

you nodded, your chest feeling lighter. “you better.”

josh's lips curved into a small, relieved smile, and for the first time in a long while, 

it felt like you were both on the same page.

comments and reblogs are appreciated ˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗ @jenepleurepasbaby

© ruewrote 2024.

[belovedgyu]

FASHION SHOW || Kim Mingyu part 3

part 1 part 2 ⚬ pairing: uni au! kim mingyu x fem!reader ⚬ word count: 14.5k (forgive me!!) ⚬ warnings: alcohol, drinking, insecure reader, heavy mentions of body dysmorphia, internalized shame, spice/nsfw mentions and smut, the fmc briefly slips into a dissociative space but its not mentioned directly, MDNI ⚬ genres: slowburn if you squint, jealousy, established relationship, hurt/comfort, angst, fluff, smut, uni!au ft. jun, soonyoung, dokyeom, giselle and yunjin

⚬ recommended songs for this chapter: - pov by ariana grande (!!!) you're so vain by carly simon plastic by moses sumney dress by taylor swift life of the party by shawn mendes she by elvis costello

⚬ author's note: you asked for one big update, you get one big update! - this was one of the messiest things i have ever written, not just because of the subject matter i was dealing with (i wanted to address, as carefully as i could, how internalized misogyny reflects in one, especially those identifying as women) but because this was also the first fic which i have written unplanned. - pardon any major grammatical errors which bug you, but writing and editing nearly 15k words in two days def took a toll on me! take care and enjoy <33

Dokyeom dropped you at your dorm after you had settled Yunjin on her bed in her apartment.

All night, your head kept on throbbing — from exhaustion, overthinking and feeling shitty in general. But what amplified it even more was the urge to check your social media every five minutes. It kept on clawing behind your eyelids each time you tried getting some sleep. 

Worse was the fact that you gave in. 

It was humiliating, in fact, that you kept clicking on their stories as soon as anyone who was present at the party posted something. 

And each time you clicked on one, your breath thickened and your lips mumbled a silent prayer as if to brace for some violent impact.

Throughout the night, until your eyes got heavy and shut on their own, you had seen so many pictures and videos that you could describe what anyone at Suri’s party was wearing with fearsome accuracy.

Now, sitting in your empty booth at The Cold Brew with your jacket sprawled on the opposite seat, haphazard notes littering the whole table, you felt nothing but stupid.

You dug the heels of your palms on your burning eyes as if that would ease the pain. 

What were you even thinking? Expecting to see a picture of Mingyu with his tongue shoved deep in Suri’s throat as her already skimpy dress rode even higher? To catch your boyfriend cheating on you on camera with the girl he had voluntarily cut deep rooted ties from? 

You stayed up all night, paranoid and tense with pain, for what? The worst thing you had found in those stories was that when Suri cut the cake, her fingers offered the first bite to someone who was standing far away to her left, more than a safe distance between them. 

In one of the stories posted by Lydia, you could hear Suri announce that ever since her second birthday, whenever she celebrated, she’d always offered the first piece of the cake to her best friend in the whole world – Mingyu. 

Suri then proceeded to walk all the way up to him, tripping over her heels twice, making him steady her by catching the wrist which she pushed to his mouth to feed him the cake. 

Mingyu bit off a little piece with a smile you knew was kind but not warm.

Mumbling something to her, he turned her around on her shoulders, directing her towards her younger brother who had flown in all the way from LA. 

Mingyu urged her that it was her brother who deserved that honor and not him. But the audio cut was cut short as Lydia cheered from behind the camera, “To two more decades of this friendship!” 

It was an innocent act, an innocent video, an innocent friendship but a very devious dress. 

You couldn’t spot Mingyu in any pictures or videos after that, evidencing that he had left around an hour after you. He had texted you something at the same time, probably a ‘good night’ or a ‘reached safe’ – you hadn’t bothered to check. 

When you woke up at eleven today, parched and irate as the late morning sun scorched your burning eyes, you had found a text from Yunjin waiting to be answered in the group chat. 

Yunjin🪼 (10:34 am): kickin off the weekend with some much needed study session @ the cold brew💪 who’s with meee?

Of course Yunjin was reignited with a new found flame of motivation. She always did, after satiating her monthly alcohol quota.

The text had been lying idle for a solid hour, you knew no one else would join her. 

Soonyoung had competed with Yunjin on who could drink more and unlike her, must still be too out of it to care. Jun had to tidy up his place from yesterday’s mess and one couldn't pay Giselle enough to study on weekends. 

Dokyeom and Mingyu were the only ones sober but they must have been too tired hauling their drunk friends up to their beds all night.

Besides, Mingyu and you had already planned to spend the weekend together at his place days ago — a plan that you mercilessly bailed out on when you replied to Yunjin.

You: Need to do some catching up on stats, will be there in an hour jinny

You heard her reshuffling your things to make room for a seat before you saw Yunjin. 

“Sorry I’m late!” She quipped, “Took an ‘everything shower’ today.” 

“Why did you have to wear red?” You groaned, the crassness of your own voice gyrating in your sensitive ears as you eyed her shirt warily. 

“What’s wrong with red?” The fashion major looked personally offended.

You just shrugged, unable to tell her that red was slowly becoming a color you just couldn’t stand. 

The two of you worked in silence for some time, occasionally sipping on your drinks before diving back into the heavy texts. The Cold Brew was mostly deserted on weekends. The murmur of the staff and the rhythmic whirring of the coffee machines being the only ambience inside the sweet smelling shop decorated with wood and plants. They weren't even playing that regular Japanese lofi playlist today.

All the windows were let open, allowing the cool breeze in and with all this ambience and serenity, it felt like the place could breathe once a week. 

Yunjin settled in her seat again after getting a little snack topped with fresh cut mangoes.

You were busy struggling with your nearly dead highlighter to do its work when you heard her. 

“Thanks for coming, though I thought you were gonna spend the day with Mingyu?” 

Yunjin had her eyes focused on restarting her laptop hence she didn’t notice how you nearly flinched at the question. 

“How do you know?” You muttered, warmth draining from your face. Anger? Embarrassment? Who knows?

“I called him in the morning to ask if he could cook something for me – all I had at the apartment was cold pizza and didn’t want to order out. He told me that he was gonna cook lunch for you and that I was welcome to join you guys if I wanted.” 

Your chest sunk a bit when she told you that. Of course, Mingyu was already planning out the day meticulously.

And you didn’t even have the guts to tell him directly that you wouldn’t show…he had to find that out from your passive aggressive text on the groupchat.

“I told him no cause I didn’t want to interrupt you guys, guess I ended up doing that anyways?” Yunjin scoffed. 

“No, no.” You huffed, pushing your notes away like you had given up on pretending to study while your brain couldn’t even register thirty percent of the material. “You didn’t interrupt. I was already planning on not seeing him today.”

Yunjin was confused. If there was any couple she knew who never got tired of each other, no matter how much time they spent together, then it was you and Mingyu. 

“Everything alright?” She asked.

You nodded, but your sorrowful eyes betrayed you. 

“Wait, is this about the lovebombing thing?” Yunjin’s eyes widened like she had finally found the answer to some conundrum. “Honey, it was just something stupid…I bet Giselle didn’t even mean it when she–”

“What? No, no Jinnie…” You couldn’t help but laugh, the suffocating tension locked in your body easing up a little. “Its not about that.”

Yunjin tilted her head to the side, blinking rapidly like she expected you to clarify. Perhaps, give her a clue about what was going on for you to abandon Mingyu for a study session which you weren’t even studying in. 

You bit down on your lower lip, as if sucking on it would give you the words needed to present your problem to your friend.

You wondered if there was a problem to even begin with?

Or was it just the frustration of unspoken words and wonky theories which was stretching you apart like two ends of a rigid rubber band. 

You shifted once in your seat, sweating because the afternoon breeze had mellowed down. Even the wind seemed to allow you the silence and space to speak. Then you shifted once again, this time involuntarily, as the red of Yunjin’s shirt sparkled mockingly in the streaming sun rays. 

“I dunno, I guess I am upset about last night.” You finally spoke, voice coming out louder than you expected like someone had just undid the menacing knot tied around it. 

Yunjin blinked at your borderline outburst before her face settled with recognition. 

“Oh…yeah, I was too drunk to notice but Giselle did say something about Mingyu being an ass and ignoring you.”

You shook your head. “No, he didn’t ignore me, not really.” 

“Then what is it?”

You wrapped your shivering palms around the dewy condensation on your half empty coffee cup. Your shoulders were too taut but your fingers loosened lifelessly, suspended from your hands, struggling to grasp the glass. 

Why was something so simple so hard to wrap your head around? You knew you didn’t feel the best, but you couldn’t deduce the reason behind this discomfort.

Maybe, talking it out loud with a friend might help?

“Mingyu didn’t do anything wrong,” You exhaled, “Suri dragged him around and he followed, yes. But it was nothing too scandalous or unkind towards me.”

“He was just catching up with friends, that’s all.” You shrugged. “Mingyu is devoted and loyal to me, I know that. But he also loves his friends, old or new. There was nothing to be jealous about, maybe there was but it wasn’t Mingyu’s attention. I don’t even know if it's jealousy…anger, perhaps?”

“Anger towards who?” Yunjin retorted, taking a bite of her dessert. “Mingyu, for letting Suri pull him around and not spending time with you. Suri, for being, you know, Suri? Or the whole thing in general?”

You considered Yunjin’s words, letting silence envelope your booth until you thought you found the right answer. 

You spoke low like you were spilling an embarrassing secret, “Anger towards myself, I guess.”

The clinking of the metal spoon cutting and scraping the ripe fruit from the small china plate halted for a moment.

Yunjin wasn’t expecting you to say that at all. 

“What? Why?” she licked the small smudge of whipped cream off her finger as she leaned back, giving you her full attention. 

You crossed your legs and began, “Look, Suri’s behavior was expected of her. She has always been a bit territorial over Mingyu, it's like she wants everybody to know – I was here first! And Mingyu, he has the tendency to get attention just by existing.” 

“Tall boys always do. Ours comes with a killer charm and attractive looks to top it off.” Yunjin added, earning a light laugh out of you.

“Yeah, but I trust him so I don’t really mind.” you explained, “It made sense for him to catch up with his old friends and not blatantly ignore Suri, not on her birthday.”

“He’s a classic people pleaser.” Yunjin shrugged. “Like I am not saying that he should tell the birthday girl to fuck off, but he could have tagged you along at least.”

You couldn’t help but wince at Yunjin’s comment. 

“Well, that's the part I am angry at myself about. Because he tried to. He asked me to come meet his friends. But I told him no because I was already getting pissed over nothing. All this sense that I am talking of right now, seemed to have vanished last night.”

Yunjin just nodded, sensing you had more to say. 

“So, I am angry at myself for ruining the mood completely…for leaving the party without him, for ignoring his texts, for staying up all night to keep tabs on what had happened after I left and for bailing out on our day together. All because of a fucking red dress.”

The last part startled you as much as it did Yunjin. 

You knew, somewhere deep down, that you were carefree and having fun up to the point Suri sauntered in wearing something that you could never have the guts to put on. 

Your mood had soured even more when you heard your boyfriend compliment the woman wearing it. 

It left you with questions like whether he found it attractive, if that was the type of style he thought looked best on women. 

You didn’t know, you never talked about stuff like that with each other. 

You thought he dressed well and you assumed the same about his opinions towards your dressing sense too. 

“Suri’s red dress?” Yunjin asked. 

“Yeah…it was just so sexy and good and Mingyu told her she looked good. I think that's what kicked off this whole insecurity bandwagon because I could never pull off something like that.”

“Oh you can totally pull it off.” Yunjin cut you off before you could finish that sentence with a convincing yet pitiful sigh. 

She didn’t seem patronizing or sympathetic, but dead serious. Her words carried her confidence and conviction. 

“I know, I know, the whole ‘anyone can pull off anything, you just need the confidence for it’ speech.” You drawled, resisting the imminent eyeroll that threatened to follow. 

“No, that’s what Giselle would say.” Yunjin leaned forward on the dark table, picking the abandoned spoon once again trying to salvage whatever remained of the mangoes floating over melting, frothy cream and soggy bread.

She continued, “I don’t think anyone can pull off everything. I, for once, would look stupid if I wore a heavy fabric…or a chunky belt with skinny jeans. But Jun would eat that up.”

She had spent hours researching body types and color analysis, this conversation was something one could trust Yunjin’s insights on. So you kept your mouth shut and listened. 

“Thats why, I mean it when I say that the dress would look good on you. The corset silhouette paired with your knockers and waist and hips? Ugh, iconic.” 

She moaned a little as the ultimate bite of the sweet treat melted on her tongue which made you doubt if the last line was a compliment directed towards you or her snack.   

“Now I am not the one to compare women and there’s nothing more annoying than the ‘who wore it better’ discourse, but the truth is, Suri looked sexy as hell.,,,and you, my precious little y/n, you would look erotic. There’s a difference between those two.”

Your jaw opened and closed, then opened again as you wrecked your brain to formulate a response. “I…uh, I don’t know what to say…thanks, maybe?” 

Yunjin wordlessly pushed the clay plate away. Now satisfied and full, she leaned back again with her arms crossed under her chest. 

“Wanna try?” she gave you a mischievous smile. 

You snorted, returning to arrange your pens and highlighters in your pencil case. “Should have asked that before you ate the whole thing…how am I supposed to try it now? Lick your lips or perhaps, the plate?” 

“I am not talking about the dessert, dumbass.” She laughed, “The dress!”

And that’s how, despite your several protests against it, you found yourself being dragged by Yunjin and Giselle to market on an afternoon which once belonged to your boyfriend. 

They insisted you try this store called "glitzy gurlz" tucked away on the far end of the street that only sold dupes. They weren't going to make you buy real Versace...not after they had just made you buy two sets of expensive lacy lingerie at Victoria's Secret not even an hour ago.

“Wow, that’s quite...extreme…I want to expand my comfort zone, not shatter it with a sledgehammer.” You argued when Yunjin lifted up a pair of bootyshorts that would leave seventy percent of your cheeks hanging exposed. 

The store was...something. You had passed it several times while exploring these markets at night and with the studded, low cut, bandage tops always dangling at displays, you never thought you'd ever step in here.

It reeked of cigarettes and seduction. You were used to shopping at places that smelt like fresh cotton and lavender.

“Did you text him like I asked you?” Giselle asked from another corner, rummaging through a rack of crop tops like a cunning scavenger scrounging for the best meat on a carcass. 

The girls insisted that you let Mingyu know that you were out shopping with them. Not because he was entitled to know about your whereabouts, but to give him a heads up for what was about to come. 

You see, you and Mingyu had this little ritual where anytime either of you’d come home after buying something – sneakers or sweaters, you’d give each other a little fashion show. 

It was silly, it was stupid but it was yours. 

He had even made some score paddles out of old table-tennis rackets – the scores ranging from ‘9🤩❤️’, ‘10🥵💓’ or ‘10+1 for being so adorable🥰’. 

He refused to give you anything below the ten each time you stepped out of the bathroom and gave him a little twirl in your newest steals from your favorite stores. 

While the 9 followed by a “womp womp” sound on your phone was your average reaction to whatever glittery paraphernalia Dokyeom convinced him to buy. 

The reason why the girls wanted you to let him know about this shopping spree was so that he could be prepared to ‘get the air knocked out of his stupid six pack abs’ in the evening when you'd surprise him with each of these risque pieces. 

“No, I haven’t texted him.” You answered, lowering your voice as you checked out the ice cream cone shaped neon heels like they personally offended you. 

“Whyyy?” The girls halted together. 

“Because I don’t know if I am even gonna buy any of this, let alone try it on in front of him.” 

You gestured towards the pile of skimpy skirts and racy dresses hanging over Giselle’s arms like handkerchiefs snipped into weird shapes and sewn in tassels.

Already regretting this whimsical side quest with your insane girlfriends who’d follow you down any rocky paths in high heels just for the thrill of it, you switched your phone on and off for the third time. 

“You’re not chickening out now!” Giselle protested, “I rescheduled my waxing appointment for this.” 

“I’ll wax you.” You offered, genuinely. 

“Thanks, but I’d rather you text Mingyu for now.” She smiled, going back to hunting down the next wow thing. 

You took a heavy sigh, trying to gather as much air as you could because you needed that extra dose of oxygen to face the texts you had been ignoring for over sixteen hours now. 

Your fingers hovered over the screen, sweat accumulating on your soft palms as you opened his chat to see six of his messages waiting for you.

Mingyu 🐶🩷 (02:05 am): did you reach safe baby? 

Mingyu 🐶🩷 (02:20 am): nvm i asked dokyeom and he says you did…ig you’re asleep. good night my love. 

Mingyu 🐶🩷 (3:23 am): reached home too, love you <3

Mingyu 🐶🩷 (10:00 am): hope the hangover’s not too bad, remember to drink water. 

Mingyu 🐶🩷 (10:02 am): also, do you mind if Yunjin joins us for lunch at my place?

Mingyu 🐶🩷 (11:47 am): saw your text on the group about studying with Yunjin…you not gonna come over?

You closed your eyes like that would make those texts disappear.

You could feel his enthusiasm dimming with each text, his voice echoing in your head when you read them, until it dropped down into the balked question at last. 

Somehow, the vibrance of all the colors around you dimmed as if a cloud had engulfed the once sparkling store.

You wanted to type out a paragraph, or send him a hundred hug emojis, two hundred crying ones and a thousand cat memes which you knew would cheer him up. 

But for now, you settled for a lie.

You (5:37 pm): Baby I am so sorry for missing your texts…the deadline for the stats assignment is near and I wanted to finish it off today. totally forgot about our lunch plan, thats on me. how about i make it up to you…dinner @ mine?

You (5:37 pm): I was feeling a bit low so came out to shop with the girls to cheer up. do you need me to buy something for you?

You didn’t expect a reply, not after you had ignored him so heartlessly and you knew that he’d be able to tell that your first text was full of lies. But it was worth a shot, and you were ready to face whatever was could come — being left on read, not being read at all, an angry rant which was just so unlikely for him to do. 

But a text came, around twenty minutes later, when you were trying on the thigh highs Yunjin had searched for in your size. 

Mingyu 🐶🩷 (6:03 pm): sure love, will be there by 8?

You: kk, love youuu 🥺

Mingyu 🐶🩷 (6:03 pm): more, always😘

Mingyu's POV

The basketball thudded once on the ground and then clanked against the metal of the pole with an intensity that could have almost burst it open. The pressure he had applied while simply dribbling was unnecessarily huge. 

Dokyeom wanted to comment on it, crack a pun about bursting balls, or maybe just ask him to calm down.

But he knew better than to speak anything which wasn’t relevant to the ongoing game between the two. Not because Mingyu was angry, but because he was thinking. 

The jollier guy knew how hard his best buddy tried to keep everything around him well and running, but life wasn’t linear like that. Sometimes, situations arose where one had to tidy up the mess they had no contribution in creating. 

But it was taking time for Mingyu to get that through. 

“I didn’t even know she was cross with me until she ghosted me today.” He muttered, more to himself than to Dokyeom.

He flicked the sweat off his brows before it could slide down into his eyes and tossed the ball towards his friend. 

Dokyeom caught it with one open palm and then with reflexes of a snake, passed it back on. “No, you did.”

Mingyu didn’t try to stop the ball, letting it bounce away until it halted on its own after colliding with the metal fence. “What do you mean?”

“You heard me.” Dokyeom pocketed his hands, exhaling a long held breath. “You knew it since last night that she was upset. Because why else would you call me instead of her when she didn’t reply to your texts after getting home?”

“I think it's natural for me to worry about her if my drunk girlfriend left with some guy who isn't me and didn't answer my texts after.” The taller guy snipped, instantly hating how bitter that sounded.

Mingyu flopped down on one of the stone benches stationed at the vacant court. Unable to look Dokyeom in the eyes, he let his own close shut. They burned with the sweat that had gotten into them regardless. He hung his head low with his elbows resting on his knees, not knowing what to do with all this dejection. 

Dokyeom’s laughter filled the spaces left by the chirruping of returning birds as he took a seat beside his friend, the sun setting behind them. “Don’t lie to yourself by dressing up your curiosity in the clothes of worry. You trust me, know that I am responsible and would never do any wrong to y/n.” then a beat, “you called me because you wanted to know if she had told me something about what bothered her. To see if she had complained to me about something you did.”

Mingyu didn’t lift his head. He just craned his neck from side to side to crack the stiff muscles like he was trying to borrow more time to put his dilemma into words.

“I thought about it all afternoon when she didn’t come,” he swallowed, body still slightly heaving from the adrenaline of the game, “and I know I didn’t do anything inherently bad. And I was so worried, thinking that I hurt her somehow. But then she texts me like nothing happened....she never tells me what's bugging her, just pushes it under the rug.”

Mingyu accepted the clean towel waiting in Dokyeom’s hands, swept his over his face and hair before tossing it over the bag lying between his stretched legs on the floor. 

“Dokyeom, do you think she’s that type of person?” He finally faced his friend, breathing more controlled than before. 

Dokyeom cocked a brow at him because he understood what he wanted to say, but only to a vague extent. “The type of person who gets mad at you over nothing…for attention?”

Mingyu shook his head at Dokyeom’s wild guess. “Gosh, no…the type of person who would be upset because I didn’t make her my first priority for an evening?”

“Are you calling her spoiled?” Dokyeom laughed too casually for a situation where his friend was practically ripping his own hair out. “Well, I think it depends. Was Suri preceding her on this figurative list of priorities of yours?” 

“Wha..why, no dude.” Mingyu’s head tilted, eyes narrowing as if that was the most insulting thing anyone could ever say to him. “There wasn’t even a list of priorities to begin with. I just wanted to catch up with my old friends and…I just…I just didn’t want to make Suri feel bad on her birthday.”

That settled it for some time. Dokyeom just nodded. He didn’t say anything, just let Mingyu sit there–-mind racing, breath getting dimmer until it settled in its natural pace.

And then, when he was assured that Mingyu would be able to answer his question without reacting with surface level emotions, he asked. 

“Do you regret ending things with Suri?”

Mingyu gnawed at the edge of his mouth, grinding the soft skin between his teeth until he could taste metal. It was a habit, a bad one which led to irritating sores sometimes. He wasn’t contemplating what to say because the answer was clear to him.

He was thinking about how to make it make sense to Dokyeom. 

“I really don’t because I did that for y/n.” 

His response was certain—no regrets, no second guessing—like he didn’t even need to explain the reason behind the choice he made all those months ago. 

Though, on the other hand, he reckoned that his recent behavior at Suri’s party might need some explanation. 

“But there’s this part of me, the little boy who loved Suri like a twin, which makes me want to compensate for the way I just tossed her out of my life, y'know? And I know its pretty fucking unreasonable, but I thought y/n would understand even when she shouldn't.” Mingyu exhaled, a strange sense of shame shooting up his spine. 

Dokyeom let those words hang in the maturing darkness around them. The sun had settled fully now, leaving the sports complex littered with departing practitioners and a vast expanse of dewy turf on cracked concrete. One by one, the overhead lights began flickering bright, cackling irritably as they did.

His hand landed on Mingyu’s shoulder, signaling that they should also get going if they didn’t want a sweaty stout man blaring whistles at their heads. 

“You should tell her that.” 

“She never asks.” Mingyu hauled his bag on a shoulder, tossing the ball from one palm to the other. “It irks me…because she never complains, just lets her thoughts run wild until she’s overwhelmed and then she blames herself for it.”

“Yeah she tends to feed herself these theories and I’m like…go clarify it before you believe it, dude! Fact vs fiction.” Dokyeom laughed, breathing easier in the lighter mood.

“Fact vs fiction.” Mingyu echoed like Dokyeom had just discovered the key to the universe. 

“And as for you...” Dokyeom’s steps slowed down when they reached the crossroads where they were to separate. “Making anyone feel better about how you choose to live your life shouldn’t be your burden. Well, not unless you’re harming yourself or someone else…you’re not responsible for Suri’s feelings, not after you explicitly told her what you needed.”

That slight tinge of shame from earlier jerked back up.

Mingyu took a second too long to exhale before he averted his gaze. Too open, too vulnerable to Dokyeom who was telling him to stop being a fucking people pleaser as gently as one could. 

Dokyeom patted his friend’s back and gave him a mock salute as he retreated…like any of that would cheer Mingyu up after this psychological deboning. 

Mingyu debated if he should catch up with Dokyeom who was headed back to their shared apartment to take a shower before going to your place. But that would only delay him more and he didn’t want you to think for even a second that he was deliberating standing you up for what you did at noon. 

Besides, you were at the point of your relationship where each of you had half your wardrobes at the other’s place, he'd take a shower at yours.

He bought a large pizza with your favorite toppings and the honey mustard sauce you liked. 

As he paid, he noticed a pair sitting together for what seemed like a date, their hands conjoined on top of the wobbly table stained with grease and dried ketchup.

Uncaring. Young. Possibly freshmen. 

His shoulders dropped at the sight. 

It reminded him of his first few amateurish dates with you.

It was Jun who introduced the two of you at a party at his frat. It was an exclusive affair, invites only, so Mingyu had expected the same few faces he always did. 

But for the first time, he saw you. And it made his heart skip like it never had. 

Your fingers were trembling around the red cup in an unsure grip like someone had just handed it to you and you were too polite to reject them, but too cautious to actually drink the contents.

It made him want to take that cup away from you, ask you what you would actually like to drink and then get it for you. 

He couldn’t understand why you were shivering though, or why your knees looked like they were seconds away from collapsing limp with the pressure you were putting on them.

But he got closer, and saw you smile. It wasn't a full smile, didn't even cause your eyes to narrow with bliss. It was just spread on your face with a lot of effort, like it was already causing your cheeks to ache.

That made him realize that you were nervous. Calculating your words before the girl you talked to could even finish her sentences. 

When he asked Jun about the girl in the corner, the one in the pale blue dress and soft hair, Jun said, “Ah, that's my lab partner from chem. She did most of the work this sem and I got an A because of her so I returned the favor by inviting her tonight.”

“She’s cute.” Mingyu stated.

“Yeah?" Jun had instantly perked up, "Come on, I’ll introduce you.” 

You were even more nervous around Jun and Mingyu than you had been with the girl in the neon overalls. Constantly glancing at your cardigan buried under much larger coats and jackets near the entrance, switching between fidgeting with your rings, your locket or your earrings.

Mingyu couldn’t take it anymore when you had faked your laugh at another one of Jun’s puns.

He knew he had to get you out of here. Not because he felt bad for you, but because he wanted to see how you existed when you weren’t so presentable. 

He got rid of Jun quite easily and talked to you a bit more. It was all things random—majors, roommates, clubs, frats and parties.

He had wanted to ask you if you would like to leave but held it back because he couldn’t find words to say it in a way that didn’t sound like an invitation for a hookup. 

He didn't want that night to end in just a hookup. Something in the nervous clench of your knees and the red imprints on your soft skin left by your accessories raged within him this desire to see it all again. Over and over again. Everyday, even.

So he stayed shut, giving you enough room by slowing down the conversation.

A natural at steering every social interaction the way he pleased, he made it seem like he had run out of ideas for small talk. When in truth, he could stand there all night for you, listen to your thoughts about anything ranging from meditation to Maslow if you let him. 

You were quick to grab that cue, as if you had been waiting for it all night. 

“I should go.” you had said, your smile shy. 

“Would you like me to walk with you? I am leaving too.” Mingyu didn’t hesitate in making that offer, you miss all the shots you don’t take after all. 

And he wasn’t shy about his obvious curiosity for you, he wanted you to know that he was interested in you. 

He saw your eyes widen before you blinked twice. His offer wasn’t too insistent or too casual, it just stood there with a little ball of hope. One you knew you could deny if you wanted to.

But you didn’t because he was just so cute, so you nodded, mumbling something like “I would appreciate that.”

It had played out exactly like he wanted it to.

And till this day, Mingyu firmly believed that the universe had something to do in making the two of you meet. 

Because unlike at Jun’s party, Suri never got sick drunk which meant she usually never left Mingyu’s side. But that day, Soonyoung had to drive her back home meaning there was no one by Mingyu’s side ruling out any girl he laid his eyes on with disapproving sneers.

If she had been there, Mingyu knew she would have said something like, “oh, she looks like someone who gets too attached too quick, don’t invite trouble gyu.”

It must have also been the universe’s doing when you had miscalculated just how cold it would get out in the campus and wore a flimsy cardigan. Because it allowed him to offer you his hoodie which earned him another chance to see you when you promised you’d return it. 

The numbers exchanged to ensure the "hoodie" was returned to its righteous owner soon turned into a channel for memes and texts which teetered on the edge of flirtation and something more delicate—friendship? 

The banters over texts were replaced by teasing at the movies and discourses during bookshop dates.

And that’s how Mingyu finally got to know you when you weren’t a guarded girl tugging at a modest dress like it was a habit, eyeing the liquor in your hand suspiciously when you should be paying attention to neon overalls. 

One thing, Mingyu never got back though, was his hoodie. 

Mingyu exited the pizza shop at the same time as the younger couple leaned in for a kiss. This time, his steps were slower than when he entered. 

He took a detour that would delay him by another fifteen minutes but the delay wouldn't matter.

Because what he was going to get for you would make your eyes crinkle with that unburdened lovely smile he had grown all too familiar with. 

And it was worth everything.

“Peonies!” You exclaimed, launching yourself on Mingyu before his foot could hit the floor inside your dorm. 

You crushed him as hard as you could in your arms, which wasn’t a lot considering Mingyu practically lived at the gym while you hadn’t even lifted a single dumbbell in your life.

You didn’t care how the plump blooms squished between your chests or the fact that his skin was caked with dried sweat. 

Balancing the large box of pizza, an ample bouquet of your favorite pink peonies, the flimsy bag on his shoulder and now your whole but small body, Mingyu looked too large for your narrow dorm. 

“You said that you were upset earlier,” he said, “so I wanted to cheer you up.”

He couldn’t help the laugh that vibrated in his chest. That made you clasp him even tighter as if it could convey to him your earnest regret which was as mighty as this hug. 

“I bailed out on lunch with you but you brought me flowers.” You squeaked, soft voice muffled even further in his clothed chest.

He thought he heard you sniffle. That stilled Mingyu’s attempts of pulling the peonies out of the embrace before all their petals tore apart.

“Baby, no…” he somehow set the pizza on your desk by the door and looped his arm around your shoulders to give you a gentle tug. When he saw there were no actual tears on your lashes, he sighed. “Lets forget what happened today, alright?” 

You nodded, taking a step back from him to hold the flowers—a few of them had flattened despite Mingyu’s rescue attempts.

You placed them neatly on your desk, right next to your textbook which was bulging with sticky notes and bookmarks. 

“Thanks for the pizza,” You said, lifting the box up in your unsteady fingers, still looking anywhere but in his eyes, “I was about to order one, it's like you read my mind.”

You didn’t intend for it to sound as sad as it did.

No matter how much he tried to play it cool, and how much you tried justifying yourself– you knew he didn’t deserve to pack the full Thai spread, which he had cooked especially for you, in tupperware and share it with his neighbors instead. 

He stepped in closer, his running shoes nudging against your fuzzy slippers. 

“We can talk about this, you know?” his fingers tips brushed against your twitching ones. 

It made him notice the rings you were wearing, and the glint of your two chain necklace peeking from between your hoodie and skin.

Strange, he thought, you only wore accessories when you thought you needed courage, like when you had to attend your first frat party at Jun's.

Something about the delicate elegance of jewelry calmed your nerves, equipped you with power. 

You didn’t say anything for many seconds, just stared at him with your big doe eyes—unblinking—like you didn’t want the sincerity of his expression and the ease he had created around you to disappear for even a moment. 

It cracked something within him, because he could see the clench of your jaw and the hollow of your neck. You were straining yourself from saying what mattered. From showing him the places that hurt. 

The growing cold in your fingers told him that you wouldn’t say anything anytime soon. So he took charge like he often did for you. Not because he thought you couldn’t carry this conversation, or whatever it was that he was borrowing from your shoulders…but because he could see it whenever you were struggling and didn’t want your knees to buckle with the weight of it. 

There’s a fine line between patronizing and caring. And Mingyu had never crossed it. 

“I am sorry if you felt abandoned by me at Suri’s party.” he said, “I want you to know that it was never my intention to make you feel left out, baby. I just wanted to catch up with my buddies and thought that I tried including you, but apparently it didn’t communicate well.”

Then, both his palms came up to cup your face with reverence, soft cheeks spilling out from the faint gaps between his fingers. “So I am sorry if I hurt you. And yeah, this afternoon sucked. But we can move past that.”

He wanted to say more, assure you more. But, your brows furrowed deep and your lips parted like you were bewildered…like you had expected him to unravel you right then and there but he gloriously missed the shot. 

“What…Mingyu, nooo” you uttered, “no, of course not. I know you didn’t…I didn’t feel left out or anything, told you so myself that I didn’t wanna join you guys. And of course, it was her birthday…you wouldn’t neglect her. You shouldn’t neglect anyone on such occasions."

It was his turn to mirror your perplexity now.

He dropped his hands to his side, pocketing one of them. “Then what is it that is making you seem so” he searched for the right word to describe what he saw in you at that moment, “…gutted?” 

You snorted at that, or at least tried to. “I just had a bad day and I hate what I did to you…standing you up on lunch, I mean.” 

You spoke in a way that told him you didn’t want to prolong this more. So he chose to believe you, despite the fact that your eyes had averted again and he could sense that this wasn’t an entirely honest answer. 

He just pulled you forward until you were smothered in his chest, again. “It's alright,” he whispered in the calming coconut scent of your hair, “just pay me back with twice the afternoons you promised.”

Even if you couldn’t see his face, you knew that he was grinning ear to ear—playful and relieved.

You pushed away, slightly enough for him to see you bat your lashes at him, but still close enough for the strands of your freshly washed hair to stay stuck to his hoodie. 

“How about I pay you back with something better?” 

The amalgamation of your shy voice with that suggestive offer was lethal and had him take a deep breath to calm down. A breath which you snatched away from him when you bit down on your bottom lip. 

“But first, let's eat.” you giggled.

“Brat.” he mumbled. 

The dinner was a blur of arguments over what to watch on your run down laptop and updates about his basketball match with Dokyeom earlier in the evening.

You told him about the shopping, not in significant details because you were planning to rather show him just why it was unlike any other sprees you had been on. 

And now he was half lying on your bed turned on his side with a folded arm supporting his head on his fist. 

His hair, wet from his recent shower, dripped on your pillow. He was shirtless, just wearing a pair of sweats which he had left here last week. His free palm occasionally patted your favorite worn out teddy which looked freakishly small in front of his naked chest.

One of his legs dangled down a little off the mattress because he was just too tall to fit it full, while the other was propped folded up allowing him to drum his fingers on his knee as he waited for you, facing your bathroom. 

Inside the said bathroom, you were sweating buckets. You tried not to look at the curve of your thigh which you had never let Mingyu see unless you were naked on his bed.

Now, the twin curves on either side peeked from under the dress whose hem ended too up for your usual taste. 

“Still waiting for my top model.” You heard Mingyu call out from your room. 

His persuasive eagerness cajoled you to step out. 

Your fingers fidgeted around the hem, pinching and twisting. But then you remembered that Giselle had scolded you from doing that when you had first tried it on so you flinched your hands away like the fabric had torched them. 

This was the first outfit and you wanted it to land softly before the buildup towards increasing riskiness began.

You anticipated him to react like it was just another new dress. 

You didn’t expect him to notice the shorter hem, the deeper neckline that dipped at your cleavage in a v, the flimsier fabric that fell over your body like spring.

But with his jaw hanging low, it was safe to assume that he did. 

He composed himself by jerking his head as if that would clear his head of all the unholy thoughts brimming in it, “God baby, this is already…woah, you’re gonna kill me with your beauty.” 

It made you smile and give him a twirl. The fabric swished around your legs, kissing them soft. He clutched his chest with his palm, swooning dramatically on your small bed. 

“Okay, next one.” You announced, loaded with a newfound thrill. 

You had to put on the thigh-high boots Yunjin had forced you to purchase for the next one because you refused to leave most of your skin bare by pairing it up with the kitten heels like they told you to. 

It was a black miniskirt—your first one ever.

Short enough to expose your business if you bent, but low enough to hide the safety shorts underneath. 

It was shorter than the first dress and you debated if the cropped, ribbed top meant to go with it would be too much.

You took the executive decision of disobeying the girls and switched the top for a white t-shirt. You further knotted and tucked it under your bra for a better silhouette. 

It was simple, looked like an outfit someone would wear to lecture if they had dance club practice scheduled immediately afterwards. 

But you weren’t a dancer, neither were you a fan of how faintly the pudgy ripples of flesh in your inner thighs jiggled every time you took a step in this skirt. 

The only aspect of this outfit which kept you grounded were the thigh highs which stretched well just above your knee. You had expected your upper thighs to bulge ridiculously out at the top of them. But they didn’t, not ridiculously at least. 

Despite your brooding predicament which was shaped like two lumpy logs of wood wrapped in bacon, as you called them, Mingyu was waiting for you outside. 

So you huffed out, slapping on a fake pout when you reemerged.

Avoiding his eyes like a plague, you twirled as soon as you could. Bad move, your teeth clenched. The twirl had caused the skirt to whip around in air, making it ride up just enough to show more of your legs. 

When you couldn’t avoid it anymore, you faced him, heart thumping in your throat. He wasn’t looking at your face, not yet, but you could see him blink several times at your legs. 

‘God, he thinks they’re hideous too.’ you thought and tried looking for clues of disgust.

You wanted to bolt back inside the bathroom, put on your biggest sweatpants and throw him out. 

Had you paid closer attention to the slight crease in his forehead, which only appeared when he was trying to figure something out, you would have understood that he wasn’t judging your legs.

Rather, he was examining them with curiosity.

If only he could read his mind which was running at a thousand thoughts per second, you’d know that he was only trying to find out if you were clenching your knees. If any of this was causing discomfort to race in your nerves. 

But then he looked up, and you couldn’t help but ask, “What do you think?”

Your throat felt like it was stuffed with sand. 

His face broke into a smile, a lazy one. Too trapped up in your own cage of shame and self loathing, you didn’t see the way he was grinding down on his lower lip—not until he let it go, red and abused.

“Babe…this is so hot.” he sighed, voice laced with seduction and something deeper. “Please make the boots a regular affair?” 

“Really?” you blinked, unbelieving. 

He was trying too hard not to shift in a manner that could make his semi hard bulge visible to you. But you looked too caught up in your head, obviously embarrassed, to be paying attention to anything but his words.

“I swear…” he almost groaned, “those look so good on you. And the skirt…’m so close to ripping it off of you baby.”

“Not yet!” you squealed, staggering back into the bathroom. “There are three more I wanna show you.”

“The night is all yours sweetheart.” his chuckle dimmed when you shut the door. 

What started as one of the many cheeky little fashion shows you did as a couple, a comical ritual at best, was turning into something strange. It knocked against his temples like an uncomfortable pendulum.

Something he couldn’t exactly put his finger on…You weren’t giggly, excited, or even a bit playful like you used to be at these things. 

The hesitant spinning, the reluctant drag of your feet like you didn’t want to leave the bathroom in the first place and show him what you wore…was so unlike you. 

And he saw you too clearly to call this timidness. No, this was raw shame. 

He knew that you weren’t just a shy person, but someone who thought everything she did was embarrassing. 

So for you to be acting so out of character by wearing things you never wore was certainly a bit bizarre.

But he didn’t comment on it, not when his ration tried to reason it out as you trying out something new for yourself. And he would rather swallow shards of glass than say something that could dim you down with doubt. 

But the flutter of your knees, too evident even under those dark boots…it didn’t leave his mind. 

For the first time since he had outgrown his awkward teenage years, Mingyu was experiencing being turned on and being confused at the same time. 

The bathroom door clicked open once again and you stepped out of the sterile lights into the warm yellow glow of your bedroom. This time, you had a pink pair of Juicy Couture shorts and a black bralette on. 

You turned around too soon, again, like you couldn’t face him anymore. But hid that embarrassment under the pretense of showing off the studded “juicy” written all up your ass. 

This one was more of a gag. You didn’t even think the girls were going to make you buy it when they had you put it on. 

Right now, the only explanation Mingyu could offer to someone who asked him what gave him the power to remain in his place and not pounce right on you to smack that juicy butt, it would be that Kratos himself was blessing him with strength. 

‘I am gonna tear them off your body.’ he wanted to say. 

Some variation of ‘you’re killing me’ he ended up saying. 

Ten more minutes of you struggling to fit inside of it and avoiding the bathroom mirror at all costs. Another outfit, this time a sheer lacy dress dress with matching innerwear that resembled a swimsuit. 

“Gonna wear this one to the 8 am lecture.” you joked, choking down the uncomfortable tears prickling behind your lids. 

“Oh hell nah,” he was sitting up now, legs and arms hugging your pillow because your lingering perfume on it relieved him. “Not unless you want me to be expelled on grounds of being violent towards anyone who even dared to look at you in this.”

“You’re a dramatic puppy.”

“You’re insanely sexy and unaware of it.” 

“I am taking this off.”

“Please don’t, please come sit on my lap….baby I will die if you don’t right now.” he whimpered. 

You could see the veins on his forearms getting prominent when his grip around your pillow strained tighter. 

Your body begged you to follow his command by throbbing at all the wrong places.

You felt exhausted without even doing anything significantly physical. 

But exerting whatever courage your humble body contained to smile and spin for him in dresses that made you feel like you weren’t even in your body anymore, just an onlooker crouching down in the dark corner of the room, was tiring enough. 

Succumbing to the warmth of his body was alluring, but not powerful enough to distract you from doing what you thought needed to be done. 

“Just one last dress, Mingyu.” you whispered, eyes rimming pink. 

He caught it, of course he did. But you blinked rapidly and turned around, disappearing into the bathroom again. 

Mingyu’s concern for you was inflating with each dress getting bolder, though he didn’t try to show it much. 

Your room, which once smelt like vanilla and coffee grounds, now reeked of burnt out nerves and shame when you finally walked out in the last dress.

Trembling fingers locked behind, shoulders taut and out for display with nothing but the frail thread like straps holding it all together. 

A red dress.

Eerie resemblance to the one worn by Suri. 

High slits on either side, ones which had reached her hips, looked like they had been stretched on you—not by your body, but by your fingers which might have twisted them or tried knotting them to cover the skin which glowed, exposed.

It had been about an hour since this fashion show of yours started, a ritual of humiliation you planned for yourself.

And by this point, with this final dress clawing at your body, your underlying intentions about this entire ordeal were not hidden anymore. 

It hit Mingyu like an uncontrolled truck on a highway.

It was never about his time or attention at the party.

It was about the dress, this dress. 

His limbs functioned on their own accord—abandoning the pillow on the bed, he crossed the room in long strides and stood before you, clutching your shoulders as you continued staring at him with eyes wide yet hauntingly blank. 

It was like you weren’t even with him anymore. Weren’t even aware of what was on your body. Just a thought, a question, a need for approval. 

Mingyu couldn't stand seeing the girl who had made him want to change for better standing like a shrunken version of herself, in clothes that itched on her delicate body.

Cold, detached, waiting for the validation of an idiot who was so in love with her that it sometimes physically hurt.

And he hated that he might have had some part to play in the dethroning of your pride.

“Do I look as amazing as her?” 

You were wearing vulnerability like an armour, like it was the only thing that fit you tonight. 

He didn’t answer, just a repeated murmur of, “baby…love…God, no don't do this…” as he grabbed the blanket and wrapped it over your shoulders. 

Your self sabotage had misconstrued his “Wow Suri, you look wonderful” into something more honest than “I’d give anything right now to wipe my memory so that I could experience seeing you in those shorts for the first time all over again.”

“How do I look, Mingyu!?” you asked, a little louder this time like you were tired of pretending his compliment to Suri had bounced off. It never did. 

“Beautiful.” Mingyu said, face bare and serious while he forced your eyes on him. “Look at me. You always look beautiful, no matter what. You don’t have to dress up like othe—”

“But why do I hate my legs so much…?” Your voice had gone impossibly small. Streaks of something wet were staining your cheeks.

“I don’t know my love, your legs are perfect like the rest of you…we’ll talk about it, but not like this.” His fingers were already fumbling around the wretched red dress under the blanket. 

The dress was objectively, jaw droppingly hot. And you looked delicious in it. But Mingyu couldn’t bear seeing it touch your skin—the skin which deserved all his love and reverence. It looked like it was slicing at your pride.

He finally unzipped it, pushed down the straps. The dress pooled down around your ankles like it was already tired of doing its job. 

“He’d be so shocked when he sees you wearing this.” Giselle had giggled a mere few hours ago when you paid for this dress. 

“I think he’d be disgusted at my cheap jealousy.” you had mumbled, loud only for yourself to hear. 

You search him for that said look of disgust and disdain. But all you found was hurt.

Pain in his hands which held you up like if they didn’t, you’d perish in thin air.

Pain in his voice that pleaded you not to do this to yourself.

Pain in his heart, which hammered against your naked chest. 

The blanket around your shoulders slipped when you stretched your arms to cling on him. And with it, all the weight you had been carrying since the last thirty odd hours came off as well. 

One of his arms was latched onto your lower back, the only thing still keeping the blanket half wrapped on you. While his other hand found solace in your hair, angling your head so that he could kiss all the skin accessible to him while mumbling apologies and adulations. 

Not buttering, not going an extra mile to make it right. Just his plain, honest thoughts about you. 

You weren’t overwhelmed by his words. But you also wanted him to just shut up and kiss you on the lips. When he didn’t get the hint, even after you tried sneaking one peck on the corner of his blabbering mouth, you took things in your own hands and locked his lips with your scorching, open ones. 

He was caught off guard for a moment, his words still lingering on his tongue which was now supposed to get used to yours gliding against it all of a sudden.

He melted, almost mashing his lips with yours. 

Teeth, tongues, whimpers…your bodies had kept count of every hour which had passed without each other. And they wanted to compensate for it by pouring all that built-up fervour into this kiss. 

When his hand shifted from your lower back to sprawl over the expanse of your shoulders to pull you up closer, it caused the blanket to completely fall down and join the red dress on the floor. 

His neck ached from being craning too low, so he groaned in your mouth like an animal and just lifted you up until your toes hovered over the ground. You shuddered and arched towards him, letting yourself be grappled by him like a doll. 

Your fingers raked in his hair when you pulled apart, just enough to give yourself the room to say what you wanted to say, a string of saliva still linking your mouths. Your toes met the ground, though still stretching up. 

“Make me forget everything that happened today,” you begged, “the lunch, the lies, whatever the hell this was…”

“You sure?” he whispered, the rough pad of his thumb rubbing circles on your cheek. 

“Positive.” you answered, certain and surer than you had ever been. 

A hiccup interrupted you, but you continued regardless, “I need you to remind me that I don’t have to do any of this to earn your love.”

If it wasn’t for your words, that tiny hiccup was enough to undo him. 

“You don’t, you really don’t.” he kissed both your eyelids shut and scooped you up.

You weren’t trembling anymore, neither were you burning hot with the fever of humiliation like before. If anything, it felt like your body was mellowing under his touch.

Like you were listening to your favorite poem after being stuck at a rave all night.

Like this was all that mattered, this moment…your body hitting the creaky mattress…his chest blocking your view of the ceiling…his hands, those damn hands, already parting your thighs to show him what throbbed for him. 

One of his hands smoothed over the valley between your breasts to distract you from the fact that he had accidentally ripped your panties while pulling them off. 

“I heard that!” you commented, referring to the obvious sound of stitches tearing. 

“I underestimated my strength against their fragility.” 

He hovered over you, planting both his palms on either side of your head and dipped down to reclaim your lips before you could scold him again. 

“I am tired of you ruining my underwear…” you tried your best to complain, even when he was nibbling at that sensitive spot right under your ear.

“I ruin them?” he seemed baffled, his nose brushing against your slightly damp cheek. “You’re the one always creaming them.”

“And whose fault is that?” you shot back. 

God, you wished you were this confident all the time and not only when a giant puppy was lapping at your skin like you were his favorite candy. 

He snickered, muttered a quick thanks, before trailing his lips soaked with your shimmery pink gloss and saliva down your neck.

He kissed the hickie he had left yesterday at the party before clamping his suction grip down on it again. 

You withered under him, a guttural moan echoed through the room. It reminded you of the paper thin walls of your dorms and how the bio major living next door was going to give you a stink eye the next day if you didn’t shut up. 

But you were so sensitive. And Mingyu was so relentless. 

You had no choice but to chomp down on your wrist when he found a new spot, just above your nipple, to savor on. 

Your buds had already perked up, waiting for his attention. Something about him sucking on your nipples always made the warmth between your legs leak like a faucet. 

He cupped both your breasts, giving them a firm squeeze before taking one of the rosy nubs in his mouth. Tongue tied, you let your head bury deeper into your pillow as Mingyu grated his tongue against your aching nipples, teasing and tickling until your throat closed up. 

“Shit, shit, shit…” you began rubbing yourself on his clothed thigh parked between your parted legs. 

Some other day, Mingyu would have restrained you by stilling your hips with force. But tonight, he let you do whatever you wanted. 

You pulled away, cursing. He could have nursed on your breasts for several more minutes had it not been for the fabric of his sweatpant getting disgustingly wet from his own leaking precum and from your sensual gyrating. 

He removed them in one tug, tossing them somewhere on your gossamer rug. The brief break from his heady presence allowed you the space to breathe in the muggy air, but it didn’t last long because he was above you again. 

Bleary eyed, almost animalistic. 

This time, he didn’t lean down to worship your body with his mouth. Sitting up on his haunches, he exhaled with a low hum as his large palms roved over your knees, sliding his hands down over your thigh until they finally settled on your hips. 

“Mingyu…?” you didn’t mean for it to sound like a question, but he was staring for too long and that…confused you. 

His eyes flickered towards you, dark and fluid, then back to your lower body. 

“You are so unbelievable, y/n.” he spoke and with an unexpected force, jerked your legs farther than he had ever done causing you to yelp, “so…so, fucking unbelievable.”

With each word, he leaned down more and more. By the time it registered to you that he didn’t mean those words to sound so condescending, his breath was already fanning against your drenched core. 

“So fucking unreasonable for thinking that this is ugly,” a chaste kiss that shouldn’t have stayed as long as it did was planted on your inner thigh “or this…” your hip was the next target.

“How can you…” he wanted to rebuke you for the act you pulled earlier.

But your scent was too intoxicating, too inviting.

And his lips chose to betray his mind by pressing down on your open cunt instead of finishing that sentence.

A scream tore from your lips as he began kissing your core the same way he made out with your lips.

Eager, slow, wet...almost desperate.  

The back of your thighs were pressed to his biceps and trapped by his veiny forearms in a deadlock that disallowed every wiggle, each twitch. 

The only mercy he showed you was permitting your grip on his hair—something to keep you from slipping into a world where nothing mattered but him. 

You realized that your teeth would draw blood if you continued muffling your moans by biting your wrist, so you turned your head around on your plump pillow and bit on it instead. 

The sounds your cunt made in response to his hungry licks were nothing but debauched. You tried clenching around something or nothing, as if that would stop the hot juices from streaming down your holes, drenching the linen sheet underneath. 

Mingyu saw it and couldn’t help himself from chuckling, it vibrated against the most reactive part of you. You were just so cute when you tried like that.

To think that you could control yourself to any degree when he was doing to you all the things that would put even the best selling pornstars to shame. 

He ripped his lips apart from suckling on your clit with an audible smack. 

And then, you heard him spit on you before you felt the thick, hot glob of his saliva dribble down from your little clitoris, soaking your fluttering petals until it mixed with the weeping fluids soaking your ass. 

He dove in again, but this time his intention wasn’t limited to kissing, nibbling and sucking on your folds. He lapped at you like a parched dog smearing the sinister mix of fluid all over your cunt, even sullying your inner thighs with it. 

All while you were trying not to rip out chunks of your pillow with your teeth. 

Something probed at your entrance, wet and soft. He was coaxing you to allow his tongue in. 

By now, you should know the gig. He had fucked you limp too many times for you to not too. He’d first open you up with his tongue, then make you comfortable on the thickness of his fingers before scissoring them around to stretch you well enough to take his cock in a new position that’d make him go deeper than he had any previous times. 

Yet, no amount of preparation or practice could ever dull the feverish ache in your belly. 

His tongue had wriggled inside your heat now, making the white, translucent cream gloss his lips as his nose nudged your clit with expert precision. 

He hadn’t stopped moaning at your taste and your ability to get so drenched, so quick. And if his tongue didn’t make you forget your name tonight, those vibrations sure as hell would. 

Unprepared like always, your body orgasmed without giving your head a warning. Your teeth let go of the pillow as you yelled out his name. 

A prayer, an appeal, a demand. 

You were pulling at his hair to get him out of there.

He responded to your fervor by clenching his eyes shut and pressing his face even closer to your folds. 

You don’t know what gave you the energy, but you pulled yourself up on your elbows, chest heaving and mouth hanging limp as you begged. “Mingyu please…”

He shook his head in between your thighs, like he was denying your empty pleas. You were swollen and oversensitive to his touch now, but his broad tongue persisted with those flat strokes, a playful little nibble here and there. Your clit was abused with overuse by the time he pulled apart. 

His body still didn’t budge from its rigid position though. Just a slight change, where he let go of your left thigh which plopped down on the mattress, listless. 

He was going to use that arm to elongate the torture. 

Your pussy was still fluttering, trying to recover from the previous orgasm, when he plunged a finger inside your hole. His thumb, rough and fat, began teasing your clit to tempt your walls to make space, to let his another coarse finger join its companion. 

It made you curse at him for never wearing gloves while lifting weights at the gym.

“Mingyu!” you cried out, but he was too fascinated watching your cunt swallow his fingers whole and return them drenched and dirty. 

His pace quickened making the squelching grow louder and louder until some of it squirted past his fingers, landing onto your thighs and his lips. 

“Baby, look!” he scoffed, “look how messy it is.” 

Your palms dug deeper in your face at that. You had long let go of urging him to pull away by yanking at his hair, you knew he wouldn’t stop until he wanted to. 

So you continued to whimper, flailing your free leg around. Sometimes, your heel would prod and push at his strapping shoulder—a sorry effort to make him stop playing with your cunt like that. 

It was your third orgasm which stroked some sympathy in him because you had begun crying from the overwhelming pleasure. 

Having stretched your walls, and vandalized them with enough lubrication to feel assured that you could take him with ease, he got up. 

Large hands with soaked fingers massaged your thighs again. This time, not to warn you of what was about to come, but to help settle down the goosebumps. 

“Water?” he asked.

Thorns were scratching at your throat when you attempted to speak so you resorted to nodding the best you could. Your head felt heavy and light at the same time. 

When you opened your eyes, you saw him uncapping the bottle from your nightstand, and when you shut them close, you saw the images of him smirking from between your legs. 

You had given up on suppressing your cries sometimes midway through the second orgasm. It wasn’t that you were suddenly inconsiderate of the bio major next door, but because you had lost track of time and space. 

You didn’t even know where you were anymore. 

His bed? Your bed? The floor? The couch in the club?

Make me forget—you had asked him to. 

And make you forget, he did. 

Some liquid spilled between your lips. Oh, yeah, the water. 

“Open up baby.” you felt like he was repeating that sentence, but you wondered when he said it the first time. 

He heard you wheeze a little when the plastic met your bitten raw lips. It was impossible to ascertain what angry marks on those swollen pink petals belonged to him, and which ones were your own doing.  

Once you had gulped down a significant amount of water, you felt the invisible chains, which had been restricting your limbs, loosen a little. 

The first thing you did when you could move them was stretch your arms, extending them as an invitation for the boy massaging your legs with stars in his eyes. 

Wordlessly, he caved in, pressing his head gently on your breasts and nearly crushing you with his weight. Your fingers found his hair again, this time to soothe his scalp which you had pulled and scratched raw.  

Dating someone as large as Mingyu was fun until you had him in your personal space. Because now, it seemed like there was a calf in your bed with you. 

Your legs shifted instinctually and you heard an agonizing whimper before you felt something heavy dig right above your knee. You stilled. 

“Gyu…” you called out in the dark. 

He didn’t answer, just nuzzled his nose deeper into the plumpness of your chest like he hadn’t wanted you to find out that just eating you out got him hard as a rock. 

When a pearl of something liquid, something warm, hit your skin and you jerked away like it was lava, he began sitting up. 

“We don’t have to…” he assured, creating some space between your bodies that you so undesired. 

“Get back here!” 

“No, I really need you to think about it.” he licked his lips, “you look so exhausted.”

He was trying hard to hold back but his eyes betrayed him when they flickered to the source of all his anguish, his throbbing dick…

…and you both knew that just him and his fist in your bathroom couldn’t placate it tonight.

“I am not tired.” you spoke, earnestly. 

Sure, your limbs ached from twisting and pushing around so much and your spine already felt like it could use some cracking. But that didn’t mean you wanted him to stop any of this halfway. There was no heaviness tugging at your eyelids and there was a fire roaring inside of you. Fire that could only be satiated by him. 

The only portion of his body you could touch was his forearm which was smoothing over your side. So you gently wrapped your fingers around it, bringing his palm to your face. You kissed it once before nestling your cheek on it. 

“I need to feel you, Gyu.” you batted your lashes at him. His eyes, dark and ravenous, were already watching your actions carefully, when you wrapped your lips around his thumb.

The same thumb which had been flicking at your nub and now you were sucking on it while giving him those bashful eyes. 

“Fuck, don’t beg like that.” he exhaled like that would save him from the torment you were shoving him in. 

His thumb traced the velvet of your tongue but you pushed it out with a pop. 

“Gyu, please…need your cock to fill me up so bad.” you pouted. 

That fucking pout…you could be telling him to burn the whole world down and he’d do that thoughtlessly if your sweet, small lips puckered up like that. 

A groan of your name spoken like it was the holiest prayer in the world before he kissed you again. 

Miraculously, your limbs still had the energy to apply some pressure around his body as they coiled over his neck and waist. There was no logical explanation to it, but you had learnt not to question miracles when they landed in your lap (or squeezed over your hips).

His hand was still cupping your cheek when he deepened the kiss. You could taste a familiar sour tinge coating his tongue which wasn’t there when he kissed you the first time.

Your taste. 

While he fished around in your drawer where he knew you kept the condoms, you hummed in his mouth, as if savoring your own aftertaste. 

You giggled at those thoughts. It had him break the dance of his lips against yours to search your face with adoration instead.

“What is it?” he enquired, smiling fondly down at you. 

You shook your head and giggled again. You had embarrassed yourself enough already…admitting that you liked kissing him more after he had eaten you out was mortifying. 

The faint golden glow the fairy lights curled around your bedpost illuminated the slight curve of his brows. He looked so harmless and boyish like this, surveying your laughter with wonder. 

It was a devastating contradiction because you knew what was about to come. 

You heard it in the crinkling tear of the plastic wrapper between his quivering lips—impatient and urgent. And in the vigor with which he palmed his length before rolling the rubber on. 

You braced yourself for all of it—the passion, the stretch, the force.

You turned your body around, intending to roll over on your stomach and getting on your knees and elbows when he stopped you by holding your shoulder.

“No, I want you like this.” he demanded and you obliged, falling back on your back. 

This was new, you both preferred it when he fucked you from behind. The position made it seamless for him to piston in and out of you at whatever pace he wanted without much restriction. The salacious slamming of his hips against your ass was an added bonus. 

Regardless, you wrapped your legs around his slim, chiseled waist, locking your heels on his lower back as he began rubbing his length up and down your slick.

You hissed with pleasure of being touched like that, but something just didn’t feel right.

It could be more real, more raw. 

“Mingyu remove the condom.” 

His eyes shifted up from your needy cunt creaming around him to your obscene eyes at this vile request. 

“Remove the condom…” you nearly sobbed, not wanting to repeat yourself but doing so regardless because he was still hesitating. “....no, not with the condom…”

It took you wringing your head from side to side and arching your back impossibly for him to roll the condom off and settle back in his position.

Your eager hole immediately wrapped around the tip when he tried lubricating himself against you. 

“Greedy…so fucking greedy,” he reprimanded. “My sweet little baby, always so wet and tight for me.”

Your face burned at his comments, but all you could do was moan pathetically as he began pushing in.

Your voice got louder with each additional inch. In this very public dorm, you should have controlled it…or at least, tried to. 

But you didn’t because he was so damn big! And you were ready to fight anyone who called you out for screaming so loud by challenging them to fit something so big inside themselves without turning into a puddle of blubbering mess. 

Where were your morals? Where was your pride? Common sense? 

When you arched to adjust better, and he took the opportunity to glide his hands under to squeeze your ass as he settled in balls deep inside of you, you got the answer to all your questions.

All in the palms of his fucking hands. 

“Hush baby…stop screaming so much.”

Just like you, he didn’t want the annoying bio major to lodge another complaint against you with the RA, so he swallowed your moans by mashing your lips with his. 

He knew just how sensitive you were—always reaching out to hold hands, apologizing to inanimate objects when you bumped into them by accident, petting the corner of your books before closing them with a silent goodbye—and that sensitivity transcended into your sexuality too. 

You often had a hard time controlling yourself in bed but you could always rely on his vigil awareness and steady presence. 

Looking after all your needs, giving you what you needed and stopping when he knew he should even when you begged him not to. 

His hands raked all over your soft body as you kissed him back, soft and shy. The gentle curves of yours pressing into his hard muscles drove him to a point of insanity. 

“Y/n you’re gonna kill me…god, what a way to go.” he broke away from your lips.

“Mingyu don’t say that!” you blubbered.

He drew back halfway before thrusting back in. Your voice against his lips got louder. He repeated that action, sometimes slow and deep sometimes fast and hard, until you got used to his massive girth and size—clinging on to him when he pulled out and clenching hard when he thrust back in. 

The bedpost thumped against the wall and the mattress squeaked like its springs were about to break when he lost control for a few seconds and fucked you wild, trying to hit the spot he knew too well…the spot he had abused with his fingers just a few minutes ago. 

Your body recoiled when he finally nudged it and you broke the kiss again to cry out instead.

Ecstatic, he confirmed if it was the right spot by hitting it with calculated deliberation over and over again. 

He didn't care how loud the bed banged against the wall, creating visible dents, or how your little body was being pushed deeper and deeper into the bed as he fucked you like that. All he wanted was for you to say it.

“Right here, baby?” he asked each time he bumped into it, “This is the spot, right?”

Each time, you cried out louder until there were actual tears running down your temples into your sweaty hair and drool—yours and his—dribbling down the left side of your cheek. 

“Mingyu…” you sobbed, “Mingyu…” like it was the only thing you knew. Because at that moment, maybe you did. 

You gasped when his hand grasped your neck, applying minimal pressure, and slowly brushed his thumb along your jawline. His face was buried in the mattress right by your ear which was ringing as he choked you. 

You felt him tilt his head and sigh, breathing into your hair. 

“You are so beautiful,” he admired so softly, like his cock wasn’t bullying the most delicate parts of you so erotically, “so sweet, so pretty…all mine.”

He kept hitting your sensitive spot, rubbing his crotch against your raw folds and thrusting in and out of your leaking heat which was releasing waves after waves of pleasure until your abdomen tightened with hurting buildup. 

You mewled and keened when he snaked his arm between your tangled bodies to rub circles around your clitoris. 

“S’okay baby, just wanna make you feel good.” he cooed seeing you struggle. 

The efforts it took for you to keep your legs locked around him ran out under the vile administrations of his dick and fingers.

Your legs fell limp on either side of his hips which were jutting in and out of you at an obscene pace. 

Rough, fast, primal, deep.

He noticed that and ripped his fingers away from your clitoris to hook his arms around your knees instead. He pulled them up near your chest as much as your flexibility allowed and kept them there—folded and steady–with his giant palms sprawled all over the back of your thighs. 

“Is this okay, y/n? Can i fuck you like this?” He asked, stilling a little. 

You frantically nodded, “Y-yes Mingyu, please…please don’t stop...close, close…”

Your incoherence wasn’t an obstacle for him to understand what you meant by those last words.

He knew your release was just around the corner, he could feel it in the pressure your throbbing walls were applying around his dick, like your cunt wanted to milk him for all he was worth right then and there. 

It made him smile like a cat who just ate the canary. “You’re squeezing me like you want me to fill your tummy with my cum, is that what you want, hmm, naughty girl?”

A feminine scream echoed through your room when he began fucking your snug pussy in this new position, stretching you so deliciously that you felt like he would split you wide open. 

The orgasm which hit you was violent to say the least. It wrecked you of any ability to think or speak until your mind was nothing but an ocean of hot white lust. 

What was the most concerning was his damning persistence, wouldn’t relent his pace at all even when you had squirted all over him, drenching his crotch and the blankets underneath. 

Now aiming for his own release, he continued slamming deep and hard into you.

“Sorry, sorry, so sorry baby but I gotta…argh…” his voice sounded painful when you wept in his neck, hugging him from under his arms which were planted on either sides of your pillow. 

“Its okay…” you hiccuped, “its okay Mingyu, I love you so much.”

“Say that again my love,” he begged, pressing his sweaty forehead with yours, “please say that again.”

“I love you.” You whispered, holding back a sob which ached in your throat.

“Say my name too…i wanna..fuck, it sounds so good when you say it.”

“Mingyu…Mingyu….I love you so much Mingyu…please come inside me baby, I am going to break…” you arched until your breasts were smushed against his solid chest. 

That undid him. 

He kissed you like he wanted to eat your lips–biting, swallowing, savoring. While down there, his dick pumped ropes after ropes of his shooting semen inside your heat. 

“God y/n, I love…I love you so much.” he mewled, “you know that, right? You know how much I love you. No? You don’t have to…fuck, you could be wearing a fucking potato sack and I’d still make love to you like its the last time I get to touch you…”

You couldn't believe he was really talking about you wearing potato sacks while coming so deep inside of you.

Mingyu always rambled too much every time he’d come. And his chatterbox was just unstoppable when he was coming inside of you, raw and unhinged. 

You answered by burying your nose in his chest which even after having been soaked and splattered with sweat—yours and his—still smelt like warm earth and fresh citrus. 

He slumped against you, spent and grateful. His hips had begun slowing down, fucking whatever come had seeped out back in and keeping it plugged down there.

When he did stop moving, and it was only your breaths and the whirring of the fan which could be heard in your room, he still didn’t remove himself from you. 

“Pull out.” you hoarsed.

“Pull out? Do you not love me anymore?” it was his turn to pout at you now as he nuzzled in your neck, kissing your sweat soaked earring. 

He did pull out eventually, carried you to the bathroom, helped you clean up and then left you soaking in the warm bathtub while he changed your sheets after another quick shower. 

The fan was turned off, you preferred the ventilation of the open window more. It brought in the cool breeze along with the calming scent of magnolias abundant on the campus.

Below your broken window, campus life buzzed—people getting in and out of the dorms, some getting ready for a party while some complaining about how noisy it was in the library that day. It was the kind of commotion that would coerce one to do something. Anything. 

Any other day, you would have caved in by either grabbing your books for an all nighter at the library or a pair of heels to crash some party. Maybe just a walk around the campus. 

But tonight, you were content with where you were, lying boneless and pink on Mingyu’s chest.

Your head rested on one of his pecs while your teddy lay on the other like he was a mattress in himself. The comfiest, coziest one. He occasionally patted your hair some times, caressing the teddy clutched in your fingers the others. 

You thought it would ruin the night, talking about what happened earlier. But it didn’t feel so heavy anymore.

The words weren’t lodged in your throat now, they were sitting ready at the tip of your tongue, ready to spill out for him. 

“Mingyu?”

“Mhmm?”

“Do you hate me for what I did?” 

A beat. Something crackled on the pavement outside, or maybe that was his chest. You took a breath, drawing strength from the magnolias. 

“Why would I?” The way he proposed that question, like it was up to you to do any explaining or leave it at that, shrinked your doubts even more. 

He wasn’t ridiculing you for thinking what you thought, or pushing you to give him reasons to hate you. Just plain genuine curiosity about what reigned your thoughts. 

“I dunno…because I was weak?”

He didn’t even wait for a moment before answering like he already anticipated that question and had a reply for it at the back of his hand.

“You did what you thought was the bravest thing, even when it hurt you. It was careless, yes. But weak? I don’t think so.” 

You let that seep into your skull. It did take you some courage to pull the stunt you pulled, it left you so exhausted…but it was also true that your intentions were reckless. 

Insecure and doubtful of the truest thing you had ever known—his love for you, this was certainly not your proudest moment. 

“I just think you need to be kinder to me, y/n.” he whispered, staring at the corner of the room where plaster was beginning to peel. 

Your heart sank in your gut. 

“Are you saying…are you saying that I am cruel to you, Mingyu?”

God, this wasn’t what you wanted. At all. 

The bail out, the outfits, the persistence…it was all for you. Because you needed space, you needed assurance, you needed to prove something to yourself. 

You never wanted him to be caught between the crossfires of your perception and identity. 

“Yes…" he affirmed, "but not when you stand me up on dates. It's when you let yourself think to the point of misery. When you make assumptions. When you talk to yourself like your biggest hater…"

"...because, i love you so much, y/n. And whoever treats you the way you treat yourself is the most cruel person in my eyes…” he gulped hard, his voice gruffer and deeper than it had ever been.

Like he was holding something back…tears, perhaps, and it was causing him so much pain. 

He continued after gathering his scattering self together, “Please, never put me in that dilemma where I have to fight you to save you. It should never be you and the lies hammered in your head vs me…it should be me and you against them instead."

He strained his neck just a little to capture your watery gaze like a promise. "Let me hold them with you, let me help you battle them…let me show you just how weak they are. They’re all just lies, after all. And you, you’re my little genius who is unfortunately outnumbered against the opinions of others.”

You didn’t know you were crying with your teddy tucked under your jaw, until the wet pool began growing on his chest. His hands were tighter on you now, stilling your rocking shoulders gently. 

He didn’t knacker you to stop crying. Didn’t even talk about anything other than how much he loved you. You slipped in and out of consciousness when you had no tears left to cry. 

That night, you dreamt of a girl who kept on tugging at the edges of her dress in a room choking with faceless people and their angry chatters. She looked hauntingly similar to you, but rounder at the edges which were yet to be formed, more juvenile in age.

Scared and trembling like she was anticipating to hear something which had already gone bad. But no bad news came. 

What came instead, was a boy. Beaming with kindness and dragging her along with a firm hand wrapped around her soft wrist. The girl kept trying to look back inside the room they had just emerged out of. But the boy kept on running, trying to match her slower pace and distracting her with the sun and the flowers. 

By the time morning rolled around, the room full of faceless people had been reduced to a pinpoint of white in some vast galactic stretch. The girl’s steps weren’t hesitant anymore as she ran away with the boy, chasing birds around magnolia trees, peonies in her hair. 

After that day, you never felt left out or pitied yourself when other girls wore shorts. You joined them, instead. Not all the time, but on days when you felt like confusing your peers into believing you had joined the fiercely stylish dance club.

And every time, Mingyu would be there to hold your hand in your microeconomics class. The one he didn't belong in.

Your favorite juicy shorts stayed, replacing your old cotton pajamas as the thing you wore the most while struggling with statistics in your dorms.

They were surprisingly comfy.

And with them stayed the boots, ones which Mingyu claimed were lethal but also never complained about when you put them on for an occasional brunch with the squad.

You never touched the red dress, though. Joking about donating it to Yunjin and Giselle who could alter it into something new. But you could never get yourself to keep those words.

It hung at the back of your closet, not as a token of shame, but as a memoir of how far you'd risen up from those voices which mocked you in your head.

Every day when you opened your wardrobe to get dressed, you greeted that dress like an old friend you didn't speak to anymore, one who had built your character more than anything ever could.

And on some nights, when you lay with Mingyu, pressed close to his heart, and if he felt too playful, he'd ask you when were you gonna put on the potato sac fashion show for him.

You'd call him an idiot. He'd call you beautiful.

the end. <33 p.s. - i wrote ramen instead of semen at one point and it just reminded me how lost i am when i have to insert a smut scene in a fluffy angsty story all of a sudden. p.p.s. - pls enjoy the moodboard i made for this chapter! <3 you can follow me on pinterest

taglist: @armycarat2612 @scoupswife1234 @mmessier31

let me know if you wanted to be tagged for my upcoming fic "normal people".

[fanficlolsblog]

WE DON’T TALK ANYMORE

back to my main masterlist

pairing: fem singer!reader x taylor swift

summary: falling in love with taylor swift felt like a whirlwind, but when the pressure of fame and her struggle with coming out grew too much, you broke up. as she tried to move on with travis kelce, you both admitted to missing each other, but her jealousy over your friendship with shawn mendes created tension. despite the distance, you both realized that your love story wasn’t over and that there was still hope for a future together.

warnings: contains themes of unrequited love, heartbreak, and emotional distress, struggles of coming out, complexities of a relationship affected by fame, jealousy and emotion turmoil.

a/n: i posted this on wattpad to, i would appreciate it if you would go check it out :) loversxoxoxo.

w/c: 2.1k+

you never thought that falling in love with taylor swift would feel like stepping into a whirlwind. the world had always seen taylor as a perfect fairytale princess—her songs echoing tales of love, heartbreak, and personal struggles. but for you, she was so much more than that. taylor was the girl who stole your heart with a smile that could light up a room and laughter that made everything feel okay. you shared stolen moments, whispered secrets, and a love that felt both exhilarating and terrifying.

the first time you and taylor kissed, it was in the dim light of her apartment, surrounded by the remnants of late-night songwriting. taylor had been nervous, her fingers fidgeting with the hem of her sweater. “are you sure about this?” she had asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

“i’ve never been more sure,” you replied, pulling her closer, your lips brushing together softly. that kiss marked the beginning of something beautiful, yet complicated.

as the months passed, you and taylor navigated your relationship in the shadows, always careful to keep your love hidden from the public eye. you found solace in private moments—lazy afternoons spent cuddled up watching movies, spontaneous road trips, and the quiet comfort of each other’s presence. taylor would often write songs inspired by your time together, her lyrics weaving the essence of your love into melodies that resonated deep within your heart.

but as your love blossomed, so did the pressures of fame. taylor felt the weight of expectations, the scrutiny of the media, and the fear of coming out. you understood her struggles, but as time went on, the walls between you grew thicker. it became clear that taylor wasn’t ready to embrace her bisexuality publicly. the more you tried to be patient, the more the silence between you grew.

“i just need time,” taylor would say, her eyes filled with uncertainty.

“how much time?” you would ask, frustration creeping into your voice. “i can’t keep hiding, taylor. i love you, and i want the world to know.”

the conversations turned into arguments, and the love that once felt so strong started to fray at the edges. it hurt you to see taylor struggle, but it also hurt to feel like your love was being treated as a secret, as if it were something to be ashamed of.

finally, you reached a breaking point. one night, as you sat on the balcony of taylor’s apartment, staring at the stars, you made the hardest decision. “i can’t do this anymore,” you said, tears in your eyes. “i can’t keep waiting for you to be ready. it’s tearing me apart.”

taylor looked at you, her expression a mix of shock and sadness. “please don’t say that. i love you, but—”

“but you’re not ready,” you interrupted, shaking your head. “i can’t keep pretending. it’s not fair to either of us.”

that night, you parted with heavy hearts, a silence stretching between you that felt insurmountable. you walked away, feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders, while taylor watched, knowing she had let go of something precious.

the weeks that followed were a blur for both of you. taylor tried to distract herself with her music, pouring her heart into her songs, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t escape the void you left behind. she heard whispers about a new romance with travis kelce, a handsome athlete who seemed to have everything figured out. it felt like a desperate attempt to move on, but taylor knew the truth—her heart still belonged to you.

on the other hand, you struggled to breathe without taylor’s laughter and warmth. seeing her with travis in the headlines was like a dagger to the heart. every time you scrolled through social media, you were met with photos of the two of them together, laughing, enjoying life, while you felt like a ghost in the background.

“i just heard you found the one you’ve been looking for,” you sang softly to yourself one evening, the ache of longing flooding your chest. “i wish I would have known that wasn’t me.”

you would lie awake at night, haunted by memories of taylor’s smile, the way her eyes sparkled when she was happy, and the warmth of her embrace. it was unbearable, knowing that she was moving on without you while you were still stuck in the past, replaying every moment you shared.

“why can’t I move on?” you wondered, staring at the ceiling, tears streaming down your cheeks. “why can’t I let her go?”

the loneliness was suffocating, and with each passing day, the world felt a little darker without taylor’s light. you wished for the courage to reach out, to tell her how you truly felt, but fear held you back. what if taylor was happy with travis? what if she had moved on completely?

the pain of seeing taylor with someone else was a constant reminder of what you had lost. every time you caught a glimpse of her in the tabloids, smiling next to travis, it felt like a cruel twist of fate. you couldn’t help but wonder if she ever thought about you, if she missed your late-night talks and your shared dreams.

one night, as you sat alone in your room, you picked up your phone and hesitated. what if you sent a message? would it hurt more to reach out, or would it provide the closure you desperately needed? finally, with shaking fingers, you typed out a simple message: i miss you.

after pressing send, anxiety washed over you. what if taylor didn’t feel the same? what if she was truly happy with travis? you couldn’t shake the feeling that it was too late, that your moment had passed.

but to your surprise, taylor responded almost immediately. i miss you too.

the floodgates opened, and soon you were exchanging messages late into the night, your words filled with longing and regret. it felt like old times, like you were reconnecting the pieces of a love that had been shattered.

despite the distance and the silence that had stretched between you, you realized that your love for taylor had never truly faded. it was still there, waiting, just beneath the surface. as you talked, hope began to blossom anew. maybe it wasn’t too late for you both. maybe love could find a way back.

in that moment, you understood that your story wasn’t over. the road ahead might be rocky, but you were willing to fight for the love that had once burned so brightly between you. you couldn’t forget about taylor, and perhaps, just maybe, she felt the same way.

the late-night messages between you and taylor flowed for weeks, reigniting feelings you thought were long buried. but the more you talked, the more you felt the weight of her new relationship with travis pressing down on you. you couldn’t shake the feeling that it was unfair to her, that being in constant contact with her would only complicate things more. you didn’t want to be the reason she felt guilty about her new life.

one night, as you sat on your bed strumming your guitar, you started writing a song. the lyrics spilled out of you like a torrent of emotions, reflecting your heartbreak, your longing, and the bitter truth that you and taylor had become strangers. we don’t talk anymore, you wrote, each line dripping with the pain of loss. it felt cathartic to put your feelings into words, but the more you wrote, the more you realized that this song was your goodbye.

you reached out to shawn mendes, a friend and fellow musician, hoping he could help you shape the song into something meaningful. when you asked, he didn’t hesitate. “of course, i’d love to help,” he replied with a supportive grin. “i know how much this means to you.”

together, you poured over the lyrics, crafting melodies and harmonies that captured the essence of your lost love. shawn’s presence brought comfort, and as you worked, you felt a sense of healing in creating something beautiful out of your pain. but deep down, a nagging guilt lingered in your mind. you were hanging out with another musician, and the thought made your heart heavy. you didn’t want to be the person who came between them, even if your connection with taylor was special.

as you finished the song, you decided it was time to take a step back from your conversations with taylor. you couldn’t bear the thought of being a temptation for her, so you quietly withdrew, letting the silence settle between you once more. it felt like a dagger to your heart, but you knew it was for the best.

when the song was ready, you released it, pouring all your emotions into the music video, which reflected your journey of love and loss. the haunting melody and poignant lyrics resonated with fans, and soon, it began to gain traction online.

but the moment you shared the song, taylor saw it. she scrolled through social media one afternoon, and her heart sank as she came across pictures of you and shawn hanging out. your smiles, your laughter, the undeniable chemistry—it all struck a nerve. jealousy burned inside her, igniting feelings she thought she had buried beneath her new relationship.

we don’t talk anymore played in the background as she watched video clips of you two, the lyrics echoing her pain. taylor felt a mix of emotions: anger, longing, and a deep sense of loss. how could you move on so easily when she was still reeling from the end of your relationship? she scrolled through your posts, her mind racing with thoughts of what could have been.

every time taylor saw you and shawn together, the jealousy swelled within her. she couldn’t shake the image of you laughing and sharing moments with someone else, and it hurt her more than she could admit. travis noticed her distraction, the way her smile faltered when he mentioned you in passing. “are you alright?” he asked one evening, concern etched on his face.

“of course,” taylor replied, forcing a fake smile. inside, her heart was breaking, and she struggled to hide her true feelings. deep down, she knew she wasn’t just jealous of your success; she missed you, the connection you shared, the intimacy that seemed irreplaceable.

as days turned into weeks, the silence between you and taylor grew heavier. she found herself staring at her phone, hoping for a message that never came. you had put up walls to protect her from guilt, but the absence of your voice left her feeling hollow. you had become a ghost in her life, and the ache of your absence gnawed at her.

taylor played the song over and over, the lyrics haunting her thoughts. it became her anthem of longing, a painful reminder of what she had lost and what could never be again. each time she sang along, she felt the tears sting her eyes, realizing how much she missed the sound of your laughter, the way your eyes lit up when you spoke about your dreams.

one night, after a particularly long day, taylor sat down with her guitar. she began to strum the chords that had become familiar to her, attempting to write her own song. but as she tried to find the words, all she could think about was you. the memories flooded back—your smile, your embrace, the way you understood her like no one else ever could.

“why can’t we just talk anymore?” she whispered into the silence, feeling the weight of her unspoken feelings.

as time passed, it became clear that neither of you could truly move on. you focused on your music, finding solace in your art, while taylor fought against the whirlwind of emotions that surrounded her. she missed you, and it hurt to know that you were trying to find happiness with someone else.

in that moment of realization, taylor understood that she had to make a choice. she couldn’t keep pretending that everything was okay. if she wanted to find peace, she needed to confront her feelings and, maybe, just maybe, reach out to you again.

but as she made that decision, she also knew it wouldn’t be easy. the lines had been drawn, and the world was watching. could she find the courage to step away from travis and follow her heart back to you? the journey ahead would be uncertain, but deep down, she felt a spark of hope that your love could be reignited. and for now, that was enough.

[harrywavycurly]

I’m sad WWS is over I need to hear Harry’s convo with Shawn like the whole thing Sarah please I know he was mean🤤🙃🫠

Hiii lovey!! I’m sad it’s over as well but you can always come into my inbox and check in on them and see how they’re doing! I will happily give you Harry’s phone call with Shawn😂💖

-find all things Where We Started here✨

A/N: Harry has to let Shawn know to leave you alone but poor Shawn doesn’t even know what he’s talking about, enjoy Harry being mean but not too mean ✨

“Hello?” “Hello Shawn…” “Uh…hey…Harry what’s…up?” “I’m going to get right down to it…I know you and I have some mutual friends one of them being Niall and the other being my….my bestfriend.” “Yeah…yeah we have some friends in common-” “I know she asked you about a marriage pact when you’re fifty and if you’re both single you two will get married and-” “a marriage pact? I wasn’t asked to marry her-” “Don’t interrupt Shawn it’s rude…now just know you won’t be marrying her when you’re fifty or really at any age because if you so much as try to even date her…well you’ll have to deal with me and I know I’m all about treating people with kindness but for you I’ll make an exception…so if I were you..I wouldn’t even flirt with her a little too hard around me and before you try to say you don’t flirt with her please don’t try to take me for an idiot because I’ve seen you two together…so just maybe stick to being her friend and you’ll be fine…understand?” “Uh…I think…I think so yeah?…but Harry I really don’t have a marriage pact or anything with her…and as for the flirting I mean…we’re just friendly that’s it.” “God I really can’t stand you…I just said don’t try to deny it didn’t I? And here you are denying it? I get it…I understand why you flirt with her she’s easy to be flirty and fun with…but just know it ends now okay? No more…because I don’t want to make her upset and if I see you flirting or trying to get closer to her than a normal friendship…well I’ll do something that will very much make her upset.” “Like what?…Harry are you threatening me?” “No…not at all why would I have to threaten you?” “Because you think I’m going to make a move on your bestfriend?” “Well tell me Shawn…are you going to make a move on her?” “No.” “Then no…I’m not threatening you…but this was a lovely chat…hope we don’t have to have another one.” “Yeah…great talking to you Harry…same…hope you don’t have to call me like this again.” “That’ll be up to you now won’t it?…but bye Shawn see you at Niall’s little party next month.” “Bye Harry…”

[galacticseonghwa]

SERÁ UNA NOCHE INOLVIDABLE - chenle smau

your friends were all you needed, they were your brothers from another mother they loved to say. but that all went to shit after ricky dragged you to one of his motorbike sprints.

who are you to say no when ricky's opponent claws his way into your inner circle and present himself as your dream man?

biker!chenle x fem!reader

INCLUDES — fluff, crack, bickering between y/n & chenle, smut (eventual), a slow(ish)burn, swearing

AUTHORS NOTE — this is my first time writing a smau, but i'm saur excited !! i’m also VERY bad at spelling lol

STATUS — ongoing

PLAYLIST — spotify

TAGLIST — open !

SCHEDULE - i'll try to post at least once or twice a week, but there's no promises as i'm currently studying and working sigh.

y/n profiles || chenle profiles

1 ) you're always number one xx

2 ) she’s OUR gf now

3 ) stole your rich lingo

4 ) chat is this real?

5 ) my daughter is sad

6 ) you guys had a gay kiss

7 ) you okay, mama?

8 ) i’m faint, give me a second

9 ) we’ve lost him to the system

10 ) #toptenanimebetrayals

11 ) and fly to shanghai

12 ) pouri ahau

13 ) i need jaemin

14 ) because i love you?

15 ) my angel baby

16 ) lol bye

17 ) pack it up shawn mendes

TBD

[viscaaelbarcaaa]

WITHOUT YOUR KISSES I’LL BE NEEDING STITCHES

Warnings: fluff, clingy Hector, spanish nicknames

Pairing: fem!reader x bf!HectorFort

💙❤️💙❤️💙❤️💙❤️💙❤️💙

hctorforrt_

barcelona, spain

❤️💬⌫

Liked by marcguiu9, pablogavi, joaofelix79 and 234,566 more

View all 1,487 comments

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

You’re cooking dinner, it’s a nice cozy evening, rain tapping on your windows, you thought it couldn’t get any better, until you heard the front door creak open.

Two strong hands wrap around your waist,his head burying into the crook of your neck, soft black curls tickle your skin. It’s your boyfriend Hector Fort who just came back from Paris because of football.

You knew dating a footballer would mean he wouldn’t be here half the time but Hector makes sure that the time you two have together is spent well

“I missed you, amar” (love) he murmured against your shoulder and hugged your waist tighter

You giggle at his clingy voice and actions.

“What are you making, cariño?” (sweetheart) he asked curiously looking at the pan your cooking in.

“Just some pasta” you answer

Hector can’t help himself but admire your beauty, he claims your the most gorgeous and majestic woman he’s ever seen. Admiring your features, staring at you like he saw the most important thing in the world.

“You’re staring, Fort” you snap him out of his little daydreaming with a giggle

He missed the sound of your giggles, your voice, your touch, your cooking, he missed you, badly.

Hector let go off you and sat down at the table, impatiently whining like a little kid when is dinner gonna be ready.

You place the pan with food on the table. Hector immediately digs in complimenting your cooking “That’s delicious!” He says.

“Slow down Hector” you laugh

You sit beside him, engaging in a conversation with him. He tells you every detail that happened in Paris, every detail about the football game.

You two finish your meals. You place the dishes in the dishwasher, while Hector goes take a shower

While he showers, you take care of the laundry, washing his dirty and sweaty jersey

As you finish you settle on the couch with a bunch of yours and Hectors favourite snacks

The water turns off and Hector walks to the living room in his pj pants only and lay beside you, his head on your lap

Your hand immediately going to his soft black curls, massaging his scalp

He hums with the movement of your fingers, while you put on a movie to watch

Before the movie starts, Hectors eyes are already closed, his breathing slowed, his mind blank.

THE END!

Authors note: hope you liked it, i apologise for any grammar issues, wrong spelling.

English is not my first language and its also my first time writing

[cher-rei]

He takes care of you when you’re sick and over work from having work over time all week. He’s there for you

lovesick– jamal musiala [ J.M ]

you're my sunlight on a rainy day [305– shawn mendes]

pairing: jamal musiala x fem!reader

summary: being sick isn't so bad when you have jamal by your side.

genre(s): f.l.u.f.f and comfort

[w.c: 1.9k] masterlist

notes: I have risen!!!

jamal was supposed to be in training by now, preparing for his match in a few days. but instead, he found himself sitting beside you in bed, staring at you with a pout as you bundled up further into your blankets.

the sight of your sunken eyes and flushed face made his heart ache enough to block out your desperate pleas for him to leave for practice. when you woke up it already took him ten minutes to convince you to cancel on your lectures today, but this was plainly burdensome.

you'd been pushing yourself a lot harder than you'd like to admit these past few weeks. late-night study sessions, early morning lectures, and your part time job had completely ruined you. but you didn't think that it would end up like this, it was just much as a surprise to you.

you'd never experience more than aching muscles and a migraine due to overexertion but your boyfriend was having none of it. he was sick and tired of seeing you drag yourself through the front door in the evening and barely manage to eat before bed. until now.

you were paying the price, fighting back your supper from the night before and a sniffling and coughing mess. your eyes being enough of a telltale that your body was giving up on you. jamal tried to convince you to take it easy, but you insisted on soldiering on.

that was when he took matters into his own hands and declared himself your personal nurse for the day— or however long you needed.

"jamal, please just go to practice," you urged your boyfriend and gently nudged his hand away. "I'll be fine I promise."

your retort was enough to make him laugh but he was smarter than that. "and leave you alone so that you can drag yourself into the lounge and study?" he quirked a challenging brow and got up from the bed, the look on your face telling him all he needed to know. "yeah, that's what I thought."

an irritated groan left your lips and you flopped back down onto your pillow, the harsh movement sending your head into a spiral as your vision blurred further. an unfamiliar churn in your stomach caused you to sit back up, one hand on your stomach and the other on your forehead.

in no time jamal was back— his training kit off and instead dressed in a pair of sweats and a plain t-shirt. a worried look was plastered on his face and he bent down to look you in the eye, the rim of tears forming causing him to place a gentle kiss on your forehead.

"come on baby, let's get you cleaned up, yeah?" you took his hand as he led you to the bathroom where he ran you a hot bath, the comforting overflow of bubbles sending a feeling of warmth through your chest.

you were more likely to cry because of how thoughtful he was than your actual sickness. jamal had always been the one to make everything feel lighter, and he knew exactly how to ease your mind and drown your sickness and discomfort with his heartwarming laugh.

he was gentle in all he did— the way he soothingly massaged your shoulders as you sat in the bath, overcome with emotions at the touch of his hands on your back and hair as he massaged the shampoo in.

it made you forget. instead, you listened to your boyfriend talk about something that happened at practice the day before and the dream that he had about you, which had him mentally cursing his alarm clock for waking him up. for most it was difficult, but jamal could easily draw a laugh from your lips.

"am I getting paid for this?" he asked with a teasing smile, looking at your reflection in your vanity mirror as he dried your hair, his fingers gently tugging at your strands.

your nose scrunched at the question, a distasteful hum leaving your lips. "you're hilarious. it's been 3 hours, don't push it."

he simply shrugged and set the hairdryer down, letting you have the freedom to tie your hair up while he packed everything away. "I could have been on my 4th drill by now, I have a job you know?"

you snapped your head to look at him, your jaw dropped in disbelief. "you willingly stayed out today, don't even try this with me right now."

with an unsure hum he placed the last pillow on your shared bed. "technically, you gaslit me because why would I willingly want to stay at home with my girlfriend that i would literally die for?"

your heart skipped a beat at his teasing quip, watching as he walked up to you with his arms open for a hug. with no objection, you got up and melted into his embrace that had a content sigh heaving from your chest.

"stop being extra," you said, muffled into his chest.

"then stop getting sick, you idiot."

the rest of the day jamal was attentive as ever to the point where he wouldn't even let you lift a finger. he made sure you were comfortable on the sofa cuddled up to his side, his fingers gently playing with your hair and lulling you to sleep.

his attention was fixed on the television until he was sure that you were out cold. he took a moment to appreciate how cute you looked on his chest, your exhaustion showing in the way that you lightly snored. with a smile placed a soft kiss to your forehead and carefully got up.

he tucked you in further before leaving the house to head to the pharmacy for some medication and locked the door behind him. the second he stepped out into the driveway he was hit with a gush of wind that sent a chill through his body.

jamal lifted his head to look at the sky that was overwhelmed with dark grey clouds which meant that it was probably going to rain soon. not wanting to waste any time he made a beeline for the pharmacy in hopes that he'd beat the rain home.

unfortunately, that was not the case and due to the traffic to and from the pharmacy and the fact that there was no parking nearby the store he was drenched from head to toe. the wind fought him but he prevailed and made it back home before you woke up.

you didn't stay asleep long though and weren't too happy to find out that your boyfriend wasn't beside you on the sofa. you also happened to notice the droplets of water on the floor leading up to your bedroom.

"jamal?" you called out and wrapped the blanket tighter around your shoulders, skillfully dodging the wet spots on the stairs as you called out to your boyfriend who eventually responded.

you were met with the sight of jamal standing in the middle of your bedroom with his shirt off suggesting that he just got.out of the shower. "did you go out in the rain?"

your boyfriend stood silent for a moment, his lips parted as he averted his gaze. "I mean not technically." he shrugged his shoulders, hoping that you weren't mad at him. "it wasn't raining when I left."

"oh great, now you're going to be--" you stopped mid sentence to sneeze. "you're going to--" you sneezed again. not once. not twice. and definitely not thrice.

your body recoiled at the uncomfortable and violent force of the sneezes, jamal having nothing to do besides watch with an amused smile as he bit back his laughter.

when you were done with the fit of sneezes you stared at him blankly to recollect your composure.

"bless you, baby," he said with a cheeky smile. but the term of endearment didn't throw you off track and you were back to reprimanding him. jamal thought you were being dramatic and continued to get dressed, humming in agreement to your rambling.

"me being sick is one thing, but you?" you said and threw your hands into the air, the blanket flailing in the air. "you need to be healthy and you know better than to leave the house in the rain."

he took your hand and dragged you back downstairs to the kitchen. "it wasn't raining when I left, I told you." he looked back at you and you rolled your eyes, ready to protest. "my immune system is stronger than yours anyway."

he stopped in front of the kitchen island and put you on the counter with ease. "so please shut up." he unexpectedly pecked your lips, moving away to get the medicine before you could say anything.

"it's like you have a death wish!" you yelled in shock at the kiss.

jamal came back with a glass of water and a few tablets, handing them to you one by one and waiting until you drank them all. "as long as it's you, it's fine."

your face scrunched in slight disgust at the cheesy response. it was nothing new and it was a known fact that somehow jamal's cliché quips worked on you most of the time, but this was not one of them.

he pursed his lips in defeat at your reaction, getting the hint. "not the one?"

you shook your head and wrapped your arms around his shoulders. "and it never will be. never say that again please."

he stifled a laugh and pecked your cheek. "noted."

the two of you stayed like that for a while, just catching up and relaxing in each other's presence. you weren't too keen on having jamal this close to you, but you were grateful for his stubbornness because you would have lost your mind without any form of physical contact.

"yeah and then--"

jamal was cut off by himself by none other than his worst nightmare. the sneeze had you both silent for a moment until you slapped his arm hard enough that he flinched, a pout forming on his lips.

you covered your face with your hands, a sigh leaving your lips. "what did I say? this is why you should listen to me."

jamal tried to argue back that it was just the dust in the air but the sneezes that followed after didn't help his case in any way. but hey, at least he'd be at home with you for a few days. he wasn't complaing at all.

your head began to ache at the thought of being stuck at home with jamal for the next few days, not because you didn't want to be around him, but because you knew how needy he was when he was sick. there wasn't a second where you weren't attached at the hip.

you opened up the blanket around your shoulders and pulled him into the warmth of your embrace. "now you're sick because of me, great."

jamal burried his face into your neck and smiled, the feeling of his lips trailing gentle kisses making you shiver. "oh yeah, I'm sick alright." he lifted his head to look at you with a puppy-like smile. "lovesick."

"get out of my face right now, I swear jamal--"

"so I can't love my girlfriend now?? is that it?"

[babydollslibrary]

LAVENDER HAZE — TREVOR ZEGRAS

trevor zegras x fem!reader

published: February 6th, 2023

summary: in which y/n has been dealing with hate from Trevor’s fans and journalists constantly speculating when they’ll get married.

specific lyrics: “i been under scrutiny. you handle it beautifully. all this shit is new to me.” and “all they keep asking me is if i’m gonna be your bride. the only kinda girl they see is a one night or a wife.”

not my gif

“y/n, when are you and Trevor gonna get married?” a reporter asks as i walk through the hallways of Honda Center, away from the Ducks dressing room and up towards the seating. i send a stiff smile their way and continue walking, effectively ignoring their question.

i’ve been dating Trevor since we were sixteen. five years together and you’d think i would be used to this by now, but it’s harder than one would think.

of course Trevor and i have talked about marriage, when you’ve been together this long, it’s inevitable that you’ve talked about it. but we’ve mutually decided to wait until it feels right for us. we’re only twenty-one after all. but it seems that it’s the only question i get asked nowadays.

sure, when i ran into reporters in the past, they may have asked me this question a couple times, but usually they just asked me what it was like to be high school sweethearts with an nhl player or what kind of things Trevor does at home to get ready for a game. but now it’s always ‘when are you guys getting married?’ and ‘y/n has Trevor proposed yet?’.

having been dating Trevor since his USNTDP days, it’s definitely different dealing with him now having real fans and him being approached at restaurants for pictures. i don’t mind it, but it can get to be a bit much when with his fame comes hate towards me. girls telling me i’m not good enough for him or that they could treat him better and whatnot. every photo i post on instagram has at least twenty comments saying such things.

**

i’m sat on the couch waiting for Trevor to get home from his game. i left right after it ended, Trevor texting me that he had to do interviews and that Jamie would drop him off at home.

—

@y/n11 just posted

Liked by @jackhughes and 14,628 others

@y/n11: the secret is out, i’m actually just @trevorzegras personal photographer 📸

Load more comments

@user1: y/n using her boyfriend for clout again lol

@user2: alexa play treat you better by shawn mendes

@jackhughes: i’m stealing Louie next time i visit

@y/n11: good luck, Trevor might actually disown you as a friend if you try

@jackhughes:@y/n11 sounds like a win-win situation to me

@user3: how has it taken me months to realize she changed the number in her username to match Trevor’s jersey number? didn’t she used to be y/n46?

@user4: yeah, and before that she was y/n9 to match his usa number. they’re so cute 😭 i wonder if she’ll change her username to y/nzegras when they get married

@trevorzegras: and you’re the cutest photographer there ever was

@y/n11: i wanna smooch your face 💋💋

@_alexturcotte: whipped

@trevorzegras: @_alexturcotte i don’t see you with a girlfriend so which one of us is really winning here?

@user5: oh look, another post of Trevor. anyone wanna take a guess on what her next post will be? hint: it probably won’t her ugly ass

@_quinnhughes: miss you! come visit soon!

@trevorzegras: aww miss you too Huggy!

@_quinnhughes:@trevorzegras did it look like i tagged you? you can stay in Anaheim

@y/n11: miss you too Hugs! i’ll come with Trev on their next game there and root for you! 🧸

@user6: lmao she’s rooting for another guy? slut. bet she’s bounced around to all Trevor’s old teammates + Quinn

—

i scroll through the comments on my recent instagram post, seeing all the girls insulting me or saying i use Trevor for fame. am i not allowed to post my boyfriend anymore just because he’s in the NHL?

i didn’t realize i had tears welling in my eyes until one drops onto my screen. wiping it off, i hear the front door open and shut, Trevor arriving home. i listen to the mundane sounds of him slipping his shoes off and dropping his keys into the dish by the door before i hear his footsteps coming towards the living room. i hastily wipe away my tears and sniffle before he can see that i’ve been crying.

“hey, baby.” i say, my voice not quite recovered from my throat being closed up while i was crying, but Trevor doesn’t seem to notice. he takes the seat next to me on the couch, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and pulling me in so my head lays on his chest.

“hi, love. did you see that goal i made for you?” he asks and i chuckle.

“i did. you did amazing, babe. i’m so proud of you.” i tell him, wrapping my arm around his waist and squeezing him tighter to me. he drops a kiss to the top of my head and i can feel the smile on his lips.

“lemme see that pretty face.” he whispers, nudging my chin up with his hand. but when i look up at him, his smile drops. “hey, what happened? why were you crying?”

he rubs at my cheek with his thumb, tracing my puffy under eye with the tip of it. i shake my head slightly.

“it’s nothing, Trev.” he shakes his head and scowls.

“it’s not nothing if it made my girl cry. now tell me.” he says.

“it was just the comments on my instagram post. there were these girls—” i cut myself off, not knowing if i want to tell him what they said.

“hey, what? ‘there were these girls’ what?” he asks softly.

“these girls were commenting that i was using you for clout, and that i was ugly. and another one said that i’ve probably gotten with you and all your friends.” i whisper. his face contorts in disbelief before dropping into an angry frown.

“don’t listen to them.” he tells me. i open my mouth to rebut but he speaks again. “i’m serious, y/n. don’t pay them any attention. i know you’re not using me. i mean, you put up with my annoying, class clown ass in high school. if that doesn’t speak wonders then i don’t know what does.”

i giggle and land a light smack against his chest.

“i happen to have liked your annoying, class clown ass.” i tease.

“and i still wonder why.” he shrugs. “as for the other comments, you’re gorgeous, princess. you’re so beautiful. i still can’t believe i get to wake up every morning and see that pretty face. i can’t understand for the life of me, why you stay with me when you’re so out of my league. but i’m so grateful that you do, because i can’t imagine where i’d be and what my life would be like without you.”

i smile at his sweet words and lean up to kiss his lips.

“i love you.” i mumble against them.

“i love you too, babygirl.” he presses one more quick peck to my lips before pulling away “also, i know you’ve never been with any of my friends. i mean, c’mon, why would you want them when you can have this?”

he sweeps a hand down his body and i bark out a laugh. he smiles down at me, running his hand through my hair before he stops it at the back of my neck, pulling me in for another, deeper, kiss.

“you know, i’ve been thinking.” he tells me when he pulls back.

“oh that’s never good.” i say.

“ha ha ha.” he narrows his eyes at me, slipping the hand from the back of my neck in order to use it to shove my forehead, making me fall back onto the cushion of the couch behind me. “i was thinking, maybe next year?”

“maybe next year what?” i ask, face contorting in confusion.

“maybe next year we should get married.” he says. i pop back up into a sitting position quickly, nearly hitting my head against his. he chuckles and tucks a lock of hair behind my ear.

“Trevor Zegras did you just propose to me?” i ask, my tone incredulous. “on our couch?!”

“yeah, i guess i did.” he says. “what do you say? you wanna be my wife?”

“i could hit you right now.” i tell him.

“so, it that a no?” he asks, an eyebrow raised in questioning. i shuffle onto his lap, straddling him and grabbing his face in my hands.

“there is nothing in this world that i want more than to be your wife.” i whisper, leaning my forehead against his.

“oh thank god.” he sighs. he sticks his hand in his pocket, shuffling around in it before pulling his hand back out in a fist. he opens his fist to reveal a ring box. “because i’ve had this ring since we were eighteen.”

tears sting my eyes, my heart leaping in my chest as i pull my head back from his. he opens the box, showing off a beautiful white gold ring with a pear cut diamond and a twisted halo design.

“since we were eighteen?” i ask. “but that’s the year that we were fighting all the time.”

“yeah, and you stayed. despite all the stupid arguments, you still made sure we never went to bed angry at each other, and you stuck by my side.” he takes the ring out of the box, slipping it onto my finger before pressing a kiss to my knuckles.

“i love you so much.” i whisper before capturing his lips with mine. he pulls back a second later to mumble out his own ‘i love you’ before he resumes kissing me.

but then a thought pops into my head and i pull away, furrowing my brows at him.

“why did you have the ring in your pocket right now?” i ask him.

“well i had this whole plan that i was gonna bring you out on the ice before warm ups and ask you there but, when it came down to it, it didn’t feel right. i wanted the right moment. and now felt right.”

—

@y/n11 just posted

Liked by @colecaufield and 43,793 others

@y/n11: forever with you sounds pretty great @trevorzegras

comments on this post have been limited.

@trevorzegras: i’m pretty damn lucky that i’ll get to call you my wife 🤍

@jackhughes: finally! i was beginning to think he would never use that damn ring! congrats guys

@y/n11: you knew about the ring?!

@jackhughes:@y/n11 who do you think helped him pick it out?

@colecaufield: congrats you guys! can’t wait to be the best man

@jackhughes: think again bud, i’m gonna be the best man

@_alexturcotte:@jackhughes i think we all know that I’M gonna be the best man because Trevor likes me best

@y/n11:@jackhughes @_alexturcotte thank you cole! and i hate to be the bearer of bad news but the best man will definitely be Louie … gotta go 🏃‍♀️

@_quinnhughes: congratulations! so happy for you two!

@y/n11: thank you Huggy! get ready to go suit shopping because i can’t imagine anyone else being my man of honor

@lhughes_06: damn, Z beat me to it. i was gonna ask you this summer at the lake house! happy for you though 🥲😪

@y/n11: aww sorry Moosey! keep an eye out just in case forever doesn’t work out

@griffinzegras: can’t wait for you to officially be my sister!

@y/n11: aww you’ve been my baby brother for 5 years but now it’ll be legally true! can’t wait to boss you around!

@griffinzegras:@y/n11 i take it back @trevorzegras any way that you wanna take her back to the pound?

@trevorzegras:@griffinzegras nah, i like this one. i’mma keep her

Load more comments