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mercymornsimpathizer · 5 months ago
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gottencents · 20 hours ago
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Fallin’ All In You - Giselle
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pairing. idol!giselle x girlfriend!reader
synopsis. giselle playfully takes on the role of makeup artist while sitting on Y/N’s lap, turning every brushstroke into an excuse for a kisses.
The soft hum of lo-fi music filled the cozy living room, sunlight filtering through the curtains and casting a warm glow across the scattered makeup on the coffee table. Brushes, palettes, and foundation bottles were spread out in a chaotic but intentional mess—courtesy of Giselle.
Y/N sat on the couch, leaned back comfortably, arms resting lazily on the cushions as Giselle settled herself on her lap. Her knees framed Y/N’s thighs, and her weight was perfectly balanced. She had a brush in one hand and a mischievous glint in her eye, which only meant trouble.
“Alright, sit still,” Giselle instructed, her voice light but authoritative. “I’m making you my masterpiece.”
Y/N raised an eyebrow, smirking. “And by masterpiece, you mean clown, right?”
Giselle gasped dramatically, placing a hand on her chest. “How dare you? I’m an artist!” She leaned in closer, their faces just inches apart, her expression softening into a grin. “Besides, you’re already too pretty to mess up.”
Before Y/N could respond, Giselle pressed a soft kiss to her cheek—just a brief touch of her lips, but enough to make Y/N’s heart stumble.
“Is kissing part of the makeup process now?” Y/N teased, her hands naturally resting on Giselle’s waist to steady her.
Giselle pretended to think, swirling the foundation brush in her hand. “Hmm… It is now. It’s called the kiss-and-glam method. Super effective.”
Y/N chuckled, her eyes following Giselle’s every move as she dabbed foundation onto her face. She was meticulous yet playful, her concentration occasionally interrupted by her own desire to lean in and sneak another kiss.
“There,” Giselle said after applying a thin layer. She tilted her head to inspect her work, her fingertips grazing Y/N’s jawline. “Flawless.”
Y/N rolled her eyes. “You barely did anything.”
Giselle grinned, grabbing a blush brush. “Patience, baby. Perfection takes time.” She lightly dusted Y/N’s cheeks with blush, leaning in close as she worked. Y/N could feel her breath against her skin, warm and comforting.
“Oops,” Giselle whispered, biting her lip as she lightly tapped the brush against Y/N’s nose. “Too much blush.”
Y/N raised an eyebrow. “Guess you’ll have to kiss it better.”
Giselle didn’t hesitate. She leaned in, brushing her lips against the tip of Y/N’s nose in a soft kiss before pulling back, her eyes sparkling with amusement. “Better?”
“Much,” Y/N replied, her voice dropping slightly, a playful challenge in her tone.
Giselle moved on to the eyeshadow palette, choosing a soft shimmer. As she leaned in to apply it, her body shifted slightly on Y/N’s lap, sending a jolt of awareness through both of them. Y/N’s fingers tightened their grip on Giselle’s waist instinctively, and for a moment, the air between them felt thicker.
“You’re staring,” Giselle said without looking up, her voice teasing.
“Can you blame me?” Y/N shot back, her eyes lingering on Giselle’s lips. “You’re kind of hard to ignore when you’re sitting on me like this.”
Giselle paused, her eyes meeting Y/N’s. A slow smile spread across her face as she set the eyeshadow palette aside. “You’re distracting me, you know that?”
“I thought that was your job,” Y/N said, her fingers lightly tracing circles on Giselle’s waist.
Giselle leaned down, their faces barely an inch apart. “Maybe it is,” she whispered, her voice barely audible. “What are you gonna do about it?”
Y/N smirked, her eyes flicking to Giselle’s lips and back up. “I might kiss you until you forget what you were doing.”
“Tempting,” Giselle murmured, brushing her thumb along Y/N’s jawline. “But you’ll have to catch me first.”
Before Y/N could respond, Giselle leaned in and kissed her again—this time, slow and deliberate. Her lips were soft, lingering for just a moment longer than necessary before pulling away.
Y/N blinked, slightly dazed. “That’s not fair.”
Giselle giggled, resting her forehead against Y/N’s. “Life’s not fair. But I’ll make it up to you.”
Her lips found Y/N’s again, this time with more certainty. The kiss deepened, and Y/N’s hands slid up Giselle’s back, holding her close. The rest of the world faded away—no music, no makeup brushes—just the warmth of Giselle’s body pressed against hers and the electric connection that seemed to hum between them.
When they finally pulled back for air, Giselle smiled, her cheeks flushed. “Forget the makeup,” she said breathlessly. “I think you look perfect just like this.”
Y/N grinned, her thumb gently brushing a stray strand of hair from Giselle’s face. “I told you, I was already pretty.”
“Yeah,” Giselle whispered, her eyes soft. “But you’re also mine.”
Y/N’s heart swelled at the words, pulling Giselle in for one more kiss—slow and sweet, a promise sealed in the warmth of their embrace.
The makeup could wait. This moment? It was too good to let go.
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maxillness · 8 months ago
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🇦🇺 || Treat You Better || LN4 OP81 x Reader
Warnings: Angst (ish), 18+, unprotected sex, alcohol consumption, sub!oscar, praise kink,
Wordcount: 1.4k
Part 3 of Nattely and I Don’t Forgive You
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He won’t lie to her, he just know he’s not right for her
Oscar could see it on her face when she says he’s the one that she wants
She’s spending all her time in the wrong situation
“I broke up with him” He heard her says from the other end of the call
I know I can treat you better
“I’m sorry” He sighed “I’m in Monaco, want me to come over?”
“If it’s no problem”
He was there in a matter of minutes, speeding over to her, not wanting her to be alone
“I’m an idiot” She cried, spilling her tears out as she was hurtled up into Oscar’s arms
“You’re not an idiot” He said, hand soothing her hair
“Why didn’t I notice earlier?” Her head was starting to hurt from the crying
Her crying had settled for a while, but still in his arms, feeling the warmth of his body against his
“Any girl like you deserves a gentleman” He said, feeling her body get heavy against his
Feeling her body heavy against his, and hearing her small snores, she lifted her up and put her gently under the sheets on her bed
“Goodnight” He whispered, softly pulling her hair away from her face
It was a few weeks later when he got a call from her “What’s up?” He picked up the phone almost immediately
“He was here. Said he missed me. Wanted to be friends again. Admitted to not wanting me back”
Just let me treat you better
“Here’s what I’m gonna do. Next time I’m in Monaco, I’m gonna come by with ice cream, okay?” He offered, hearing her light sniffle
“That would be great”
He did just that. He came by her apartment with ice cream. They sat on the couch, stuffing their faces with ice cream, talking about everything and nothing
At some point, the alcohol had joined them. They had scooted closer, knees brushing each other, sending shivers down his spine
“What are you thinking about?” She asked, seeing his zoned out state, but still looking at her
“Nothing” He answered, obviously lying as he looked down into the almost empty ice cream
“Tell me” Her finger hooked under his chin, making him look up at her
He sighed, but spoke up anyways “I’ll stop time for you. The second you say you’d like me too” Her hand dropped from his face
“I just wanna give you the loving that you’re missing. Baby, just to wake up with you would be everything in need, and this could be so different” He looked with fear into her eyes, waiting for a response
“Tell me what you want to do” She said, leaning closer to him
He didn’t answer, to caught up with colour in her eyes, and the feeling of the bubble in his throat
“Oscar… Don’t be shy, tell me what you want” She smiled, getting fully in his lap, legs on either sides of his thighs
Her arms were around his neck, his hands on her waist, eyes so innocent they looked like puppy eyes
“You” She could see the blush starting to creep up on his cheeks and down his neck “I know I can treat you better than he ever did”
“Any man with a good soul can” She leaned in, titling her head slightly to the side, closing her eyes as their lips made contact
“Do I have a good soul?” He asked softly as she pulled back
“Very much so” She nodded, pulling him in for a deeper kiss “The best” She repositioned herself, allowing her to get closer to him
Her tongue glided across his bottom lip, access given immediately, without hesitation
Her tongue felt spongy against his. The kiss had gotten more sloppy and wet like this, saliva pooling in the corners of their mouths
Her lips moved over his jaw and down to his neck. The way her lips moved on his skin drew out light moans from him
“We should move to the bedroom” She said between kisses, starting to stand up “Come on” She took his hands pulling him up
Their lips attached again as she guided them into the bedroom. She closed the door with her foot before pushing him down softly, making him sit on the foot of the bed
“You’re so beautiful” She whispered as she got in his lap again, hands under his shirt, pulling it over his head
She noticed the blush that deepened at her words “So fucking beautiful” She chuckled slightly at the whimper he let out
She pushed him softly down so he was laying on his back, her lips attaching to his neck, slowly moving over his throat and down his chest
She had gotten off the bed, styled between his legs on her knees, lips trailing down just above the waistband of his jeans
She disconnected her lips from his skin, looking up at him as her hands fiddled with his belt
She unbuckled it, moving to his button and zipper. He bucked his hips, giving her access to pull down both his pants and boxers at the same time
Beautiful brown doe eyes were looking down at her as she spit in her palm, attaching her hand around his hard cock, drawing out a whimper from him
Her other hand held his hip as she kissed the insides of his thighs, hand on his cock starting to move, throwing his head back, closing his eyes
The soft moans and whimpers he let out were like music to her ears
She slid her thumb over his slit, a loud moan leaving his lips, her name rolling off his tongue, in a breathless whimper
“Please, I need your mouth, please” He looked down at her, lost in her eyes
She granted him his wish, her mouth attaching around him, starting to slowly move, louder moans starting to fill the apartment
“Please- fuck… Just like that- Ah” His hips were starting to shutter as his thighs shook and he started twitching inside her mouth
“Fuck, I’m gonna come. Please, I’m so close” He had a hard time keeping still as she moved
Her tongue traced the vein up his cock, sending him over the edge with her name rolling off on his tongue with a loud moan, shooting his cum down her throat
She swallowed and stood up before quickly removing all of her clothes, Oscar laying tiredly on the bed, chest still heaving from his quick breathing
She got in his lap, hovering of his body, making him open his eyes and look up at her
“You okay, Osc?” She asked, kissing his lips softly
“Mhm… I can give you one more” He said, hands softly tracing her sides, landing on her hips
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to” She said, caressing his cheek with her thumb
“N-no, I want to, want to make you feel way better than he ever did” He said, encouraging her to take him back into her hand
She drew the tip of his cock through her folds, making him moan as he was still sensitive from his orgasm
She slowly slid down on him, both moaning at the sensation of him inside her
She started moving, nails digging into his chest as Oscar’s nails dug into her hips, not able to keep their moans down
“Fuck- Never imagined you to sound so good” She praised, making him whimper, bucking his hips up into her
She leaned down, putting her arms in wait her side of his head, lips attaching to his neck
This new position made her clit rub against his pelvic bone, giving her more pleasure, moaning loudly beside his ear
“Please- fuck- ‘m so close” He said, starting to twitch inside her as his hands went to rest at her ass, squeezing her slightly
He let out a high-pitched moan when she clenched around him “Please- I need- I need to come, please”
“Come for me” She placed open-mouthed kisses on the exposed skin on his neck, giving him a few more rolls of her hips as he came deep inside her
The feeling of his cum filling her up sent her over the edge, rapidly clenching around him as she came
She laid down beside him on her side, propping her head up on her hand, the other softly pulling the hair out of his face
His brown eyes looked at her with such adoration she never got from Lando, or anybody for that matter
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milliesfishes · 3 months ago
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Hi! I simply ADORE your writing and idk if you’re taking requests right now but I’d love an accidental pregnancy with Billy story (maybe even with some enemies to lovers vibes)!
౨ৎ꣑ৎStaying౨ৎ꣑ৎ
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[fem reader] contains: angst, pregnancy, bullet wound pairing: billy the kid x fem reader author’s note: sorry this took forever! here's your poll winner I hope you like it hehe. thank you @phantomamor for reading through it for me mwah Pinterest Board Spotify Playlist
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His hair was a mess. Curly and free of his hat for once, dancing over the plane of his forehead. You could count every freckle on his cheek if you wanted to, easier than counting stars. His breathing was soft, escaping his slightly parted lips in brief little puffs. He was sunk into the mattress next to you, arm slung around your side, fingers splayed over your back. You hadn't bothered to redress and neither had he.
It must have been nearly an hour since you woke up, his heartbeat stuttering in your ears. Even when you'd shifted, he hadn't woken. It'd likely been a long time since he'd slept in a decent bed, so used to collapsing and shutting his eyes whenever he could. Although he'd been here renting this room for nearly a week, there wasn't any way he was used to it yet. Or maybe he was just relaxed. You'd slept better than expected too.
Blinking, you shook yourself out of your daze, suddenly realizing where you were. Billy Bonney's bed. Billy the Kid's bed. And he was sprawled out as if it were nothing, palm warming your side, maybe leaving a handprint with how long it'd been resting there.
Sitting up, you watched his hand drop from your waist to your thigh. He still didn't stir. Letting the sheet fall away, you stiffened upon seeing the patches of red that marked his trail of kisses down your body, the result of his stubble rubbing at your skin. It'd been deliciously satisfying at the time, but now the leftover sting only heightened your shame.
Reaching down and rubbing at the most prominent marks on each inner thigh, you squeezed your eyes shut. Your innocence had been surrendered to a man whose face was splashed all over the West with a reward over his hat. The same hat you'd knocked off his head so you could tangle your hand in his hair. It'd been softer than you remembered.
Your brother James' childhood friendship with him as well as your brief romance felt like decades ago. It ended when he'd skipped town without so much as a letter. Needless to say, it'd been a shock to see him leaning on the bar last night, sipping his drink and grinning at something another man said. And when your eyes caught his, there was nearly a string of fire stretched in the distance between you. Everything unspoken pushed you together again, until there was no separation.
He'd been so smooth last night. Gentle, touch like a butterfly as he unwrapped you from your dress and whispered things that set your heart aflame. Though there were new shadows behind his eyes, this was the same Billy who'd told you he loved you all those years ago. You knew him, but obviously you hadn't known him.
He'd filled out in the time he'd been away. Your Billy Antrim had been broad and manly, but this Billy was somehow broad-er. Pressed against you now, it was easier to tell. He wasn't at all a kid, contrary to the name he'd earned from the law. It'd been freeing to be with him. You'd felt alive. This was something you'd done for yourself, no watchful eye of a protective brother standing above you like a lighthouse.
Maybe a piece of your heart had always been with him. It was so easy to fall back into your old patterns, conversation flowing like water, his touch familiar and safe. When he'd kissed you, it was like you'd found the X on a map you didn't know you were following. Was it worth all the heartbreak you'd nursed for so long?
Billy's hand twitched on your thigh, squeezing lightly, and you decided it was.
Lying back down, you pressed your cheek to his chest, settling your hand over his heart and letting yourself relax. Subconsciously, Billy's arm tightened around you, and you felt your eyes growing heavier. In all the time you'd imagined being in love, you never thought you'd feel comfortable sleeping next to someone. Apparently, your imagination had steered you wrong. It felt so safe here, like his arms could ward off any darkness that crossed your path. Except of course, for the night, when he would make love to you and hold you until you both succumbed to your dreams.
As you drifted off again, cozy and sleepy, you could finally place the feeling that'd been knocking at your back.
Home. He made you feel like you were home.
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Shielding your eyes from the sun, you peered out into the distance from the porch. James was supposed to be back by now with everything you'd sent him into town for. Normally you would've gone yourself, but today he'd insisted.
Not bothering to argue, you'd distracted yourself with chores, hoping it'd fill more hours than it had. The house was spotless now, the animals fed, dinner on the fire. The only thing missing was your brother.
Maybe he'd been held up in town. You wouldn't be surprised. There wasn't a soul your brother couldn't make friends with, and he put it to the test wherever he went. Leaning on the railing, you sighed, closing your eyes and trying to ignore the growling in your stomach. You were supposed to eat regularly, and your brother was aware of that. Ordinarily you'd go ahead and serve yourself up a portion, but one of the missing ingredients happened to be on the list you'd sent him out with.
It'd been a tense few months. There'd been troubles with the ranch hands, as well as a mysterious outbreak among the horses that only allowed one person to leave at a time. Not that you minded. It wasn't like you'd want to go to town anyways, for fear of who you'd see.
The ranch was distant enough to give you some peace. And you were able to avoid prying eyes, or whatever gossip could circulate. Now more than ever, you were wary of it. Ever since that night with Billy, truthfully. Last time you'd graced the bounds of town, you'd been on edge, scanning for familiar blue eyes, or curls peeking out from under his hat. Mercifully, he was nowhere to be found.
Time had passed. Enough time to grow bitter. The feeling left a bad taste in your mouth, but you couldn't spit it out. It had grown, twisting around your bones and wrapping fingers across your throat. If James had noticed, he hadn't said anything, though he didn't have to. The way he'd handled you lately told you everything you needed to know.
You bent your head, feeling slightly faint with hunger. Hair falling in front of your eyes, you stared down at the skirt of your loose-fitting dress. Sorting through what you had in the cabinets, you wondered if you could make do without what you'd been waiting on. As soon as you began to entertain the notion, it was dismissed. You'd been craving this soup all day, even in the warm of the dying summer. August was full of endings, and you felt as though you were hurrying along its departure by making something you usually reserved for winter.
Hoofbeats. Lifting your head, you perked up as you saw a horse in the distance, heading for you fast. Now you could make out James' familiar outline, of his hat and the dark grey shirt he'd left the house wearing this morning. Folding your arms and leaning back, you were ready to give him a hunger-induced earful for being late.
Squinting as he got closer, you could see the other rider behind him. From where they'd appeared on the horizon, you hadn't been able to make out the second horse, the other person tagging along. Smoothing your hair, you pushed aside any twinges of annoyance that came with James' apparent impromptu dinner invitation. You'd made enough food, surely, but you hadn't been expecting a visitor.
Your brother and his guest stopped, tying their horses and chatting all the while, the other man saying something that made your brother erupt in deep laughter as he hoisted his full bag from his horse. You stood up straight, thankful he'd at least followed the list.
Bounding up the stairs, James greeted you with a kiss to your cheek, holding your elbow with his free hand for a second. "You okay?" When you nodded, he squeezed, nodding briefly. "Got everything you asked for. And I brought Billy 'round for dinner."
Billy-?
You whipped to see the man standing at the bottom of the porch steps, hat in his hand as he looked up at you with those blue eyes that hadn't ever failed to put stars in yours. A tightness erupted in your chest, and you felt your expression drop. For a moment you were frozen, just staring at him.
Now memories from that night were stealing your vision. Waking up alone after falling back asleep, the spot next to you cold and empty. In fact, the room had been emptied of any remnant of him. The few possessions that had been strewn across the dresser had disappeared, along with his clothes, his boots, and his gun. When you looked out the window where the horses were tied up, his hadn't been among them. The only evidence he'd been there were the marks he'd left on your body and the indent in the other pillow.
He'd left you. Again.
Of course you'd felt stupid. Just like in your early youth, you'd fallen for his charm and heartbreak ensued. You should have known he hadn't changed. While the first time you'd been sad over it, now you were angry. And the following months only added fuel to your fire.
The way he'd looked at you had pulled you in, a lifeline in your sea of content misery. You'd been so hopeful, so happy over him that you hadn't taken any of the risk in mind. You didn't know what he'd been up to in the time that had passed. Seeing him in the bar that night, you hadn't asked questions, hadn't brought up anything about him leaving. It'd been nostalgic, a trick of the light that had you falling into his bed. And now you were paying the price for it.
All of this circled you like vultures over a fresh carcass as you stood there looking at him. He didn't break your gaze.
"C'mon, you're hungry, I know it," James said, putting his hand on your back and guiding you inside. "'m sorry I took so long. Didn't know Billy was back in town."
"Who would've guessed?" you asked, side-eyeing Billy as you allowed your brother to lead you in.
When you reached for his bag to dig out the soup's missing ingredient, James swatted your hand away. "You go sit. I know you've been on your feet too long today."
Billy looked at you curiously as you sat down, tucking your feet under the chair and chewing on your bottom lip. It felt embarrassing for your brother to be doing this right now, even though he had been for months. It was more that it was in front of Billy.
James started cutting the missing carrots, and you were left in silence with your unexpected guest as the sound of chopping filled the air. Billy shuffled where he stood, then decided to go into the kitchen. "I'll see if he needs any help." Only moments later he emerged, standing uncomfortably in front of the door.
You looked away, focusing on breathing in and out. Yet another thing you were supposed to do. Breathe and do it easy. It was okay. You'd been without him for months and you'd been fine. At least, that was what you had to tell yourself.
Billy sat across from you, and you could feel his eyes on you, though you didn't lift yours. Without looking, you knew his knee was bouncing, just a little. One of his nervous tics. "Didn't know James knew how to cook."
"He didn't until a few months ago." Your response was directed at the edge of the table, where your eyes followed the wooden pattern.
"How've you been?" he asked quietly, and you blinked.
It was a loaded answer. You didn't bother playing with telling him the truth. "Fine."
"James said you've been havin' a tough time," he muttered, and your eyes snapped up.
"What'd he say?" It came out harsher than you meant, and Billy's brow knit in confusion.
"Didn't say what about." Your shoulders slumped in relief, and he watched you suspiciously.
When you'd been his girl it'd been nearly startling how well he could read you. And the night you'd seen him again three months ago, it was evident how little that had changed. The way he'd been with your body against his, anticipating your needs, what you wanted him to do. He'd been perfect. It'd only made his leaving hurt more.
Opening his mouth, Billy began to ask you something but was interrupted by James bringing in the bowls of soup. You jumped up, but he shook his head. "Stay sitting. I'll get the other one." He kept leaving you alone with Billy. He didn't have a reason not to, but it still put you on edge. When your brother returned once more, some of the tension diffused, and you all lifted your spoons.
Dinner turned out well, even with the late addition of the carrots. James told a funny story about work that day and you finally cracked a smile, the burden on your heart lightening. When Billy answered James' question about what he'd been up to, you listened carefully, trying not to look like you were too interested.
"Had a bad run-in with a few folks from the last town I was in," he said, looking between you and James. The thumb of his hand on the table next to his empty bowl was tapping lightly, and you watched it. Up. Down. Up. Down. "Was actually here for a night a while ago but I had to skip again cause they found me."
You met his eyes, something chipping at the cast you'd put around your heart. That was why he'd left? Stiffening again, you looked down. He still could have said something. He'd had enough time to clear out his things, so he could have woken you or left a note or something. And then there was the matter of the first time he'd left too. A wound that hadn't healed, no matter how much you covered it and pretended it did.
James gave a low whistle. "You've had a real adventure. We're real glad to have you back, Billy."
"I shouldn't've ever left," he said, looking squarely at you. Heart thudding at your chest, you lowered your gaze.
Standing up, you fluffed your dress away from yourself, a habit. "I'm going to sit outside for a bit before bed."
James stood almost instantly, a hint of concern in his expression. "You feelin' okay? Need anything?"
"I'm fine," you promised, giving your dress another fluff. "I just want to watch the sunset." James accepted this, but you could feel Billy watching you leave.
Nearly collapsing on the front porch chair, you tried to focus on the sunset, counting the colors. This was an activity James had done with you one night when you were panicking, and it'd worked since. This was a different sort of panic, though. This was a disease eating at your insides, threatening to tear you in half.
You wouldn't deny you'd imagined seeing him again. Pictured what you'd say, what he'd say. But this was beyond what your mind could come up with. It was too soon. Too soon after everything. However much you'd thought you could handle had been an overestimation. No amount of time could have prepared you for his arrival here, in the one place you had left as refuge.
Red, blue, pink, orange. You made a list in your head. Clouds, grass, hills, trees. Maybe if you closed your eyes, everything would disappear. Every wrong sorrowful tragic aspect of your life gone in the blink of an eye.
How you wished these emotions had faded with time. If anything, the sand from the hourglass had coarsened them, created jagged shards of glass that cut you on the inside. At least nobody could see you bleeding.
When you heard boots on the floor, you stood, avoiding Billy's eyes as you watched the sun sink deeper into the earth. His scent hadn't changed- it was something distinct and all him. It permeated the air, nearly suffocating you.
"I'm sorry." He said it softly. You didn't bother looking. "I know me showin' up like this upset you-"
"I don't care what you do, Billy." Your tone was colder than you meant it to be, and beneath the shell you put around the woman you used to be, she winced.
"Sweetheart-" he paused when you winced. "I did a bad thing, I know. I hurt you-"
"You hurt me before," you whispered, looking up at him blankly. "I don't care."
Billy's face didn't change. You wished he would stop looking at you like that, like he'd stumbled on treasure in the desert. His mouth was flattened, like a ridge. Where tension had dissolved before, now it was stretched taut, ready to snap. Biting the side of your cheek, you fought the tears that threatened to make an appearance, but it was like trying to hold a bursting closet door shut.
When his hand found your face, you closed your eyes, humiliated as a tear slipped through the cracks, your facade crumbling. His course thumb caught it, and you lifted your lids, eyes hardening.
"Talk to me," he breathed, searching your eyes. You froze as two more tears slipped from your eyes and cascaded down your cheeks. The truth was at the tip of your tongue, but you kept your mouth shut. If he knew, it could ruin everything.
"I'm fine," you managed, but he held firm, shaking his head. "Billy," you started, voice firm as it could be. "Just go. It doesn't matter."
"It does matter-"
"You left me!" Taking a step back, you stared up at him, no longer caring if you cried. "You left me twice without ever saying a word and this time you left me-" Stopping short, your eyes widened slightly as you realized what you'd almost said.
"What?" Billy closed the gap between you, searching your eyes and grasping your shoulders, his touch causing you to stiffen. You hated that you wanted it, wanted him to pull you into his arms and tell you everything was okay. "I know somethin' happened, what-?"
You sniffled, smoothing a nervous hand over your midsection without thinking. His gaze dropped, and he froze. As soon as you realized what you'd done, you tried to step away but he held you firm, eyes never straying.
"You're-" Billy swallowed, growing pale at the notion. "Sweetheart, you're-"
Now your vision was blurry, hot tears springing and falling without your permission. You folded your arms over yourself, feeling your hands start to shake. Billy's hands flew to your cheeks, tilting your face up so you were looking at him, into those deep blue eyes that had gotten you into this mess to begin with. In the softest voice you could imagine, he asked, "Is it mine?" Sniffling once, you nodded. Billy exhaled, one hand sliding to your crown and pulling you into his chest. You didn't fight him.
Being back in his arms was a daydream you'd let yourself indulge in only a few times. But no amount of imagining compared to the real thing. He engulfed you, pulling you in like you'd been lost at sea,
Sinking into him, you could feel yourself breaking. This is what you had craved ever since you'd found out, the itch only he could scratch. When he pressed a kiss to the top of your head, you closed your eyes. "I needed you."
"I know." His voice was unsteady, nearly breaking as he tightened his arms around you. "I know. I'm so sorry, sweetheart." You hid your face in his chest and he smoothed your hair, voice sounding frantic. "I shouldn't've left..."
"I needed you," you repeated desperately, and you swore you felt a tear fall into your hair.
"'m sorry." The emotion in his voice had you grasping at his shirt, trembling as he lowered you both to the ground. He started to rock back and forth, rubbing a hand up and down your back. "I left you alone, I left you-" he cut himself off, burying his face in your hair. Tentatively, you lifted a hand, sinking into his dark curls. The familiarity prompted another tear or two out of you.
When you noticed it'd grown dark, you pulled yourself away, wiping your eyes and risking a look at him. He was solemn, eyes roving over you. It was a look you recognized. Checking, making sure everything was okay. You brushed away another tear, whispering, "It's okay."
"It's not." Billy reached for your hand, eyes soft.
"I've been fine without you, Billy," you snapped, pulling away before his fingers could brush yours. "You don't have to do anything for me."
"I'm not just gonna leave-"
"You had no problem doing it before," you cut him off, reaching up and gripping the porch railing to get to your feet. The sting of humiliation was already coursing through you, and your instinct was to run. "Just go. I'm fine."
Without another look, you strode into the house, making a beeline for your room and shutting the door. Not one set of footsteps, Billy's or your brother's, dared follow you.
Lifting a hand to your face, you slid against the door, body shaking again with tears.
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"Outta the way!"
You nearly dropped the plate in your hands, watching your brother stumble into the room with a limp, staggering Billy supported by his shoulder. Blood soaked the blue of his shirt, and your heart gave a pang. Feeling faint, you watched in a daze as he propped him up on the kitchen table, speaking lowly. James looked up, silently shooing you from the room. Turning on your heel, you fled and shut the door behind you, heart pounding in your ears.
Billy's presence on the ranch had been nearly constant since he found out that night, acting as a shadow toward you. Your brother, ever kindhearted, had hired him on, insisting he give work to his oldest friend. You'd protested but stopped once he started to question why it bothered you so much. Catching yourself, you realized James was bound to find out sooner or later. If you kept arguing, it would be sooner.
To Billy's credit, he kept his mouth shut about the paternity of your child. But that didn't mean he kept to himself. It seemed that every second he had away from work he spent at your side, pestering and fussing over you, constantly asking if you were okay, if you needed anything and maybe you should sit down because he didn't want you to get too tired. It was overbearing, and you fought him at every turn.
"Darlin'-" he'd protest, trying to guide you to a chair. "You gotta rest, alright? For you 'n the baby. Please?" Sometimes you would sit down begrudgingly, his pleading blue eyes persuading you into his way. Others, you would push away his hands, some sharp-tongued comment leaving your mouth as you stormed away to be anywhere but near him. Your emotions were running wild, a something you attributed to the new life growing inside you. Although, the circumstances surrounding the arrival of the baby's father couldn't have helped.
Still, he persisted. It was impressive, really. The way he kept at it, never once giving up. Whenever you burst out and told him to leave you alone, he just stood there, letting you take it out on him. It always ended in tears.
You cried more now than you ever had before, in private most often. Really, your head was all muddled from everything happening all at once. Billy was trying to flow seamlessly back into your life, but you wouldn't let him. He didn't deserve to get back in so easily this time.
But now as you paced the length of the living room, anxiety squeezing your heart and hammering at your ribs, the only thing in your heart was regret. A fierce sickness that clouded your senses and brought tears to your eyes. What if he died? What if the father of your child died and you could have forgiven him and you didn't? He'd hurt you, there was no doubt about it. But he cared. He'd proved it a million times since he found out, putting down roots just in case you decided you wanted him.
Here, as you shuddered and shook over the idea of losing him, you knew it was more than that.
"Hey-" At the sound of your brother's voice, your head snapped up. James looked harried, clenching his jaw as he ran a hand over his hair. "He's askin' for you. I can't do anything 'nless he sits still-"
"I'm coming." Your feet were moving before you knew it, and you stepped past James into the kitchen, heading straight for Billy.
The moment he saw you, he reached out, motions almost drunken. "Baby..." he slurred, catching your hand. "So...so pretty. Prettiest girl in the west..."
"Billy what happened?" you asked, squeezing his hand, brow scrunched. You were trying to ignore the blood on his shirt, the red growing deeper by the second. James was fetching something in the other room, bandages most likely.
"Shoot...shootout, darlin'..." he managed, grinning up at you and wincing when he shifted. The pain must be making him woozy. "Don' worry 'bout me..."
"Why were you in a shootout?" you asked, horrified. Holding his hand close to your heart, you whispered, "You weren't on the ranch."
"Tryna make a lil' extra, honey." Billy reached out with his other hand, cupping your face. "F' the baby. 'n you." He pulled your fingers down to his lips. "Wanna marry you, pretty. Do it right..." Wincing, he tried to continue. "Didn't do right by ya the first time...wanna make it better..."
James interrupted, arriving with a messy pile of medical supplies in his arms. "Give him some laudanum." He shoved the bottle and a spoon into your hands, not seeming to notice the look on your face leftover from what Billy said. Almost stiffened by shock, you measured the amount and fed it to him, praying it would kick in sooner rather than later.
"Good. Help me get his shirt off." James nodded at Billy. In your condition, your brother wouldn't dare have you help with something like this unless it were dire.
With shaky hands, you got to work, ignoring the way Billy was blatantly watching you, as if you were a saint in a storm. You didn't grimace when his blood stained your hands, peeling the shirt away from his chest and working his arm out one side while James did the other. He tossed it to the side, tearing his eyes away from Billy. "You're gonna talk to 'im okay? Distract him cause I dunno when the medicine'll kick in."
"Okay," you whispered, still staring into Billy's eyes. They were clouded over, his head lulling. When James started to dab at the affected area, Billy gritted his teeth, grunting and reaching for your hand on his uninjured side.
You remembered your job, squeezing his hand. "I..." Panic was seizing you, holding your tongue. James gave you a look, and you were kicked into action. "It's okay. You're gonna be okay. We're gonna get you fixed up, alright?" Tears pricked at your eyes. "Billy, you've gotta hang on, alright? I...we need you. Both of us." You weren't talking about you and James.
Billy's eyes went soft, and he held fast to your hand, looking up at you like a puppy. You wouldn't be surprised if he melted off the table, a snowdrift in the sun. James was hard at work, and you avoided looking. You never wanted to see this much of Billy's blood again.
A thousand questions poked at your tongue, things you wanted to ask your brother, ask the father of your child, but you held back. Later you'd interrogate them all you wanted, but for now Billy's safety was at stake.
"Need to sit him up," James finally said, sliding his arm under Billy's shoulders. "Here- get on the table and keep 'im steady." You scooted up, feeling numb as you went through the motions. Billy looked dazed, but he was still as you tucked your shoulder under his arm, back against his side. His fingers splayed out, seemingly searching for something, and you gave him your hand.
James wrapped the bandage around Billy's middle, and you shifted your body as needed, still pressed to him. It was precautionary; he wasn't nearly out of it enough that he'd have trouble staying upright. But you found yourself wanting to stay, your mind telling you that if you left for even a second, he'd collapse and never wake up.
"Alright." James stood up, nudging his chair back. "He's gonna be fine. Was just a graze, so we'll check it every little bit."
Your eyes were on the ground, Billy's hand in yours the only thing you were aware of. The pounding of your heart slowed when it was confirmed that he would be okay, but you still wanted to cry. You almost lost him today, with every unsaid thing still poking at your backs.
James managed to guide him out of the kitchen, depositing him in his own bedroom for now. You trailed in behind them, unable to tear your eyes away from Billy, shirtless and bandaged, his eyes fluttering shut as the lingering opium in his system lured sleep to him. He's safe. He's safe, you repeated to yourself. He's safe.
Turning to James, you hissed, "What the hell were you doing that ended in a gunfight?"
Swallowing, your brother shifted on his feet. "Was a job. We've done 'em before 'n everything was fine but this time..." he winced. "'nother gang showed up and they wouldn't back off. We're lucky he wasn't hurt worse."
You stood shocked, eyes wide. "A job-"
"Before you say anythin'-" James held up his hands. "Billy was stubborn 'bout it. He wanted...well..." His eyes fell to your midsection, which became more swollen by the day. "He's been lookin' for ways to make more money for you 'n..."
Your heart sank. He knew. Turning to look at the man sleeping on the bed, you felt another wave of emotion crash over you.
"He cares a lot about you," James said quietly. "He woulda done it without my help, but it's a good thing he didn't."
Silent, you fought back tears, regret welling up like a river after the first snowfall. All this time while you'd been pushing him away and insisting you didn't need him, he'd been working for you. For your future, and for the baby. You knew all too well that any other man would have run for the hills and left you with "your" problem, but not Billy.
You'd been taking him for granted. And it had almost killed him.
Looking back at your brother, you whispered, "I can watch him for awhile. You go clean up. You can use my room if you need some rest." The sun was still high in the sky, but James looked exhausted. He merely nodded, meandering away after a final glance at Billy.
James' footsteps thumped away, and you sank into a chair close to Billy, watching the rise and fall of his chest like his life depended on it.
Sliding a hand over your belly, you found yourself trying not to cry again. For months you'd had yourself convinced that you didn't need him, that you could do this on your own. Have the baby and do the best you could, all the while nursing an ache that you refused to admit was there.
A tear bubbled up, spilling from your eye, and you sniffled, looking down and swiping at it. It proved to be pointless when more sprouted, flowing down your cheeks faster than you could get rid of them. You took in a sharp breath, letting your hand drop to your lap as you cried silently, the tightness in your chest nearly suffocating.
You nearly jumped when you felt a hand on your knee, palm warm as it rested there. When you looked up at Billy, his eyes were open, brow scrunched in concern. You tried to clear your tears with your hand again, but he squeezed your thigh.
"Sweetheart..." his voice was sleepy. "What's wrong?"
"Go back to sleep, Billy," you tried, blinking rapidly, sniffling and setting your other hand on his. "You need to rest."
"Been tellin' you the same thing for weeks," he mumbled, shifting to the side and lifting his hand from your leg, effectively opening his arm. "C'mere." When you only stared at him, the corners of his lips turned up just slightly. "'s okay. We both need it."
All resolve gone, you found yourself obliging, crawling into bed with him on his uninjured side and letting him guide your head to his shoulder, body relaxing once it was against his. As you settled into him, his hand found its way around your waist, the tips of his fingers on your swollen tummy. It felt like a missing piece of you sliding into place.
"I'm sorry." The words fell out of your mouth, and Billy hummed, rubbing your side.
You couldn't see his face, but you knew the furrow in his brows hadn't unfolded. "What for?"
Everything. There were a million things you wanted to say, but they all fell short when you lifted your head to look up at him. Earnest blue eyes, hitched to you like you were the one thing keeping him from floating into the stars. Swallowing, you whispered, "You got hurt...because of me..."
"No." Billy's hand pressed at your side until you laid back down. "No, that wasn't your fault. Was a stupid thing to do."
"You were doing it for me..." you whispered, more tears blurring your vision. "And I haven't been kind to you since you came back."
"Hey-" Billy grunted as he sat up a little, bringing you with him. Leaning against the headboard, his fingers drew a soothing vertical pattern at your waist. He searched your eyes, shaking his head. "I shouldn't've left. It's the worst thing I ever did. Leavin' you alone after what we did..." he exhaled deeply, mouth flattened. "It was bad enough I did it the first time."
"But you had a reason...'n I shouldn't have been so mad..." you whispered.
He thumbed the side of your face, eyes tender. "I thought I was protecting you." His shoulders slumped. "But all I did was hurt you."
"It's okay," you breathed, holding his wrist. There was no bitterness or loathing or grudges behind it. Everything that had happened was in the past. He was here now.
"It's not," Billy mumbled, but his expression lightened. You knew your anger at him must have taken a toll, and it must have been a relief not to have it burning him anymore. He brought his hand to the back of your head, stroking your hair with his thumb. "You know I've loved you all this time? Think there's somethin' wrong with me. Like I'm cursed. Bad things happen to the ones I love and it's usually my fault."
"No, bad things happen to everyone," you corrected, heart aching. Swallowing, you softly said, "I've loved you too. All the while."
Billy paused, his eyes softening. The way he watched your expression like he was making sure it wasn't a trick broke your heart all over again. He'd been hurting just as much as you, and you'd been too caught up to notice.
You leaned forward, catching his lips in a soft kiss, careful not to lean on his injured side. He used his hand at your crown to hold you to him, mouth moving slow and steady and easy, the feeling of his mouth against yours nearly convincing you he never left. You may as well have been eighteen again, fresh in love and invincible.
Pulling back, Billy brushed a kiss to your nose, than your forehead, and you closed your eyes. His hand found your tummy again, hold protective. "I love you. You and the baby."
"I love you," you whispered, meaning every syllable. Billy relaxed back into the bed, pulling you down with him and grinning when your belly poked him in the side. You nuzzled your head into his shoulder, eyes falling shut. "I've wanted you with me but I didn't know how to say it..."
"I wanted you too." Billy smoothed your hair, kissing your head. "I wanted to be here for you."
"You have been. Over and over," you promised, hand rubbing his chest. His skin was warm, and you felt sleepy just lying against it. "Over...and over..."
As you drifted off into dreamland, a part of you panicked, remembering the last time you'd fallen asleep next to him. A voice told you to keep your eyes open, to make sure he wouldn't run.
But when he pulled you in impossibly closer, laying another kiss to your head and sleepily mumbling that he loved you, the voice disappeared. You shifted comfortably, knowing when you woke up, he would still be here.
He would stay.
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prythiansprincess · 5 months ago
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CHAPTER FOUR
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🤍 pairing: theodore nott x reader.
🤍 song inspiration: wonder by shawn mendes.
🤍 author’s note: you don't want to miss this one 😏
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Step 4 of Pansy Parkinson’s Perfect Plan of Plotting
One Bed — : A narrative device used primarily in romance and romantic comedy genres, where two characters, typically with a burgeoning romantic tension, are forced to share a single bed.
The halfway point. So far, we’re four days in and my devious schemes are already proving fruitful. The tension between Theo and Y/N has been off the charts lately, but it just needs one final little push. After my minion informed me that Theo has been cheating the system by sleeping on the couch, it’s time to take away that barrier once and for all. 
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Fourth Year, Slytherin Dormitories
“I look ridiculous,” you murmured at your reflection. 
“Ridiculously hot,” Pansy corrected. 
Behind you, she curled a section of your hair with her wand, letting it fall in soft tendrils while you fretted in front of the mirror. Tonight was the night. Ever since the start of term, the Yule Ball was all anyone could talk about. At first, you were just as excited as the rest of your classmates, but the closer it got, the more anxious you felt. 
You swallowed thickly, wondering why in the bloody hell you allowed Pansy to rope you into buying this dress. Examining your reflection, you smoothed down the front of the baby blue ball gown, fingers trailing over the plunging neckline delicately covered in white lace.
The dress was a lot more daring than anything in your wardrobe, but Pansy insisted. She was convinced that it was perfect for you, but you couldn’t help but feel a little self-conscious. The ball gown certainly left little to the imagination. It cinched your waist like a lover’s embrace, the blue fabric resting right above your left thigh in a high slit that accentuated your legs before flowing into a dreamy tulle train. Still, you couldn’t deny that it was beautiful. 
“This dress was made for you, babe.” Pansy declared as she finished pinning your hair up. “Graham is going to die when he sees you.” 
At the mention of your date, you blanched. It wasn’t that you didn’t like Graham. Since the beginning of fourth year, you’ve gone on a handful of dates with him and they’ve all been relatively pleasant, but that was the problem. There was no spark, no excitement, no butterflies. No matter how hard you willed it into existence. 
There was only one person who made you feel that way, but that was a complication for another day. Theo already loathed Graham enough — truly, he loathed any guy that showed interest in you, but Graham had been the first one that your best friend hadn’t successfully deterred. When he asked you to be his date to the Yule Ball, it only seemed natural to accept. Now that it loomed close, you felt sick to your stomach. 
Still, you tampered down the anxiety and turned to your friend. If anyone had a right to dread the night ahead, it was Pansy. 
“Will you be alright tonight?” 
In a rare display of vulnerability, Pansy's smile dropped as she met your gaze in the mirror. Instantly, you pulled her to the edge of her bed and knelt down next to her. “You don’t have to go if you don’t want to. We can stay in and watch movies. Just say the word and I’ll cancel, Pans.” 
Just a few days ago, she had broken things off with Padma after the Ravenclaw announced that she would be attending the Yule Ball with Ron bloody Weasley. It came as a shock, given the fact that Padma and Pansy had been seeing each other since term started. 
You thought things were going well. Pansy had been out to your group of friends for a couple of months now and while everyone had been supportive of her journey, Padma was reluctant to make things public. Her own twin hadn’t even been aware of their relationship. You understood that coming out looked differently for everyone, but it broke your heart to listen to Pansy doubt herself. She didn’t deserve to be kept as a secret. 
“And forfeit the chance to show my ex-girlfriend what she’s missing out on?” Pansy said, sniffing haughtily and squaring her shoulders back. “Not bloody likely.” 
“There’s the Pansy Parkinson I know.” 
Much to her annoyance, you pulled Pansy into a hug. Sighing, she relented and squeezed back as you grinned. “You know, I thought Ravenclaws were supposed to be smart. Patil’s an absolute idiot for ever letting you go. You’re the smartest, funniest, and hottest witch I know. You’re the motherfucking Pansy Parkinson. Any witch in this castle would kill to have you as their girlfriend.” 
Your friend chuckled. “Thank you, Y/N. It feels strange to be on the other end of a motivational speech. Does it always feel this way when I do it?” 
“Well, you tend to be a little bit more forceful,” you teased. “But I love you for it.” 
“I love you too, Y/N.” 
Just as you pulled away, a sharp knock startled you out of the tender moment. You and Pansy stared at each other. 
“Come in,” Pansy called. 
Draco stumbled through the door, his platinum blonde hair uncharacteristically tousled and his pale complexion tinged with a deep flush. The Malfoy heir looked like he just finished sprinting through the castle. “It’s Theo,” he breathed.
At the mention of your best friend, you sprang to your feet. “What happened?” 
“He just received a patronus from Rome,” Draco explained. “Nonna is in the hospital.” 
Your heart dropped to your stomach. “Is she alright?” 
“Theo didn’t say much, but he’s with the headmaster right now. They’ve given him permission to floo to Rome.” 
“I have to — I have to go —” You couldn’t breathe. Fear threatened to overcome you entirely, but you fought against it. Theo needed you. “I can’t let him be alone.” 
“I know,” Draco agreed. “Professor Snape said he’s leaving within the hour, so we have to hurry.”
As quickly as possible, the three of you rushed out into the corridor. The sound of your heels clicking against the marble tile echoed as you and Pansy followed Draco’s lead. In his haste, Draco stomped down the staircase and nearly collided with the person waiting at the bottom step. 
At the landing, Graham stood at attention. Your date was wearing a perfectly tailored deep blue dress robe with shiny leather shoes, which made him appear taller than he actually was. His dark hair was slicked back and away from his green eyes that now roamed over your figure. In his hands was a delicately crafted corsage, presumably for you. 
“There you are,” said Graham. He straightened the front of his robes, impatience flickering through his expression. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.” 
“I’m so sorry, Graham, but now is not a good time.” You rushed out as Draco tapped his watch, signaling the hour. Theo could be stepping through the floo any moment now. “I have to go. It’s an emergency.” 
Graham frowned. “What’s happened? What do you mean you have to go?” 
“Theo’s grandmother is in the hospital. I don’t have time to explain, but please know I’m very sorry to miss the ball.” 
“Miss the ball?” He repeated in disbelief. “You’re ditching me for Nott?” 
Graham was well aware of Theo’s dislike of him. In fact, the feeling was mutual. He didn’t like that the two of you were so close, but there was nothing to be done about that now. 
“Of course she is! This is a family emergency, you twat. Y/N would never leave Theo alone at a time like this.” Draco growled, frustration written all over his face. “Now get out of the bloody way, Montague.”  
“This can’t be happening.” 
“Look, we can talk about it when we get back, but I really have to go.” 
“No,” Graham firmly stated. He gripped your wrist and held you in place. Fury like no other surged through you. “You have to choose. It’s either me or Theo.” 
Without thinking, you snatched your arm away and leveled Graham with an icy glare. “Theo. I pick Theo. You may be my date for tonight, but he’s — Theo is — Theo is my person.” 
You didn’t wait for a reaction. You couldn’t care less about the fallout. Graham should’ve known better than to give you an ultimatum. In your mind, there was no choice other than Theo. You would always pick him. Shoving Montague out of the way, you sprinted through the castle with Pansy and Draco following closely behind. When you reached the headmaster’s office, the phoenix statue standing guard over the entrance gave you pause. 
“How do we get in?” you asked frantically. 
“I don’t know,” Draco admitted. He examined the stairs, looking for any sort of opening. 
Pansy stomped on the spiral staircase in an attempt to get it moving, but nothing happened. With determination, you plucked your wand from your dress pocket and instructed your friends to move. If you had to bombarda the bloody thing, you would. 
“Drop your wand, Miss Y/L/N.” 
You whirled around to find the head of your house staring down at you in disapproval. Professor Snape stood between you and the door, his impenetrable gaze sliding from your wand to the phoenix statue. You held your chin high and your wand even higher. In all your years at Hogwarts, you had never defied Snape so openly, but you were determined to get into that office one way or another.
“What exactly is your plan?” Snape asked with his arms crossed. “Decimate the headmaster’s beloved statue to gain entrance?” 
“If it came to that, then yes.” You held your wand steady even though anxiety and apprehension brewed within you like a malevolent storm. 
Draco shot to his feet. “She just needs to see Theo, professor.” 
Snape appraised you for a moment. You made no indication of standing down. “Follow me, then. The headmaster has been expecting you.” 
Without further explanation, Snape climbed onto the spiral staircase. Pansy and Draco squeezed you into a hug and wished you luck. You promised to send them word as soon as you could. As the stairs began to ascend, you watched anxiously as their faces disappeared from view. 
Inside the headmaster’s office, Theo paced back and forth while Dumbledore attempted to comfort him. He was dressed in a black tuxedo with a baby blue vest and matching tie, the latter of which now hung loosely around his neck as he tugged at the silk. The sight of it was heart wrenching. Even though his expression was cold and distant, you could tell that Theo was worried beyond belief. His fear was as palpable as your own. 
“Teddy?” 
Relief washed over Theo as he turned to find you standing before him. Your best friend gravitated towards you, his lower lip trembling as you surged forward to gather him in your arms. 
“You came,” he murmured in a broken whisper. 
“Of course I did,” you assured him as you rubbed his back. “I wouldn’t leave you alone at a time like this.” 
Theo took a deep breath as you cradled his cheek. His gaze roamed over your dress, apprehension written all over his features. “I’m so sorry, fragolina. I didn’t mean to ruin your night. I know how much you were looking forward to the ball. Fuck, Montague must be furious —” 
“To hell with Montague,” you stated firmly. “You’re more important.” 
Your best friend slid his hand into yours, squeezing tightly as he faced Dumbledore and Snape. “We’re ready to go now.” 
Within a few moments, you found yourself stepping through the lobby of a hospital. Healers milled about in the large, brightly lit room, rushing off to care for their patients. The sight of the yellow robed witches and wizards gave Theo pause. You could only imagine that their presence brought forth traumatic memories of his mum’s frequent trips to St. Mungo’s. 
Steeling yourself, you marched right up to the front desk and greeted the elderly witch sitting behind the counter. She gave a wide berth at your overly formal attire, but smiled politely when she caught herself. 
“Buonasera, siamo qui per vedere Serafina Conti.” 
“Qual è il tuo rapporto con il paziente?”
“Grandson,” Theo rasped. “I’m her grandson.” 
The healer checked the records, her eyes skimming over the patient charts. “Serafina is under heavy sedation. The rest of your family has been contacted and should be arriving soon.”
“What exactly happened?” 
“Your grandmother contracted a case of Forest Cough. Typically, the cough is very mild. Had Serafina sought treatment earlier this week, she would’ve been perfectly fine, but since she waited, it developed into a fever.” 
You swallowed thickly. “Will she be alright?” 
“Her healer has her on a dose of magical antibiotics, which also acts as a mild sedative. With a few hours of rest, Serafina should recover quite quickly. If any other symptoms arise, we do advise that she seek treatment as soon as possible. The worst thing you can do is wait.” 
“Thank you so much.” The weight on your heart lessened at the reassurance. Nonna would be alright. That was all that mattered. “Could we please see her?” 
The witch nodded. “Of course. Follow me.” 
The two of you followed the healer through a long corridor. The walls were painted a cheerful yellow color that matched the healer’s robes, but even its sunny shade couldn’t mask the cold and sterile feeling of the hospital. Beside you, Theo tensed as you passed room after room of patients, his gaze lingering on the still bodies within. 
You squeezed his hand, distracting him from his own memories. “It’s alright,” you murmured. “Nonna is going to be alright, Teddy.” 
Theo tore his gaze away from a pale witch laying still on a stretcher, his expression shifting from worry to relief. He nodded in agreement and squeezed your hand back. 
Just then, the elderly witch led you into a private room. She poked her head through the door, alerting nonna of your presence. “Serafina, there’s visitors here to see you.” 
As she ushered you in, you couldn’t help but notice how small and fragile nonna looked. To you, Serafina Conti had always been larger than life, but right now, you realized that even a strong woman like her wasn’t invulnerable. Be that as it may, nonna haughtily sat up in her bed and crossed her arms as though she owned the place. 
With a look of disapproval, she tutted at the both of you. “Why are you here?’
“Aldo sent a patronus,” Theo explained. “He said you were in the hospital. We were worried sick!”
“You know how your cousin loves his theatrics,” Nonna said with a nonchalant wave. “I’m perfectly fine.�� 
“They said they had to sedate you, that you had Forest Cough and you waited so long that it turned into a fever —”
“The healers are overzealous, as usual. All this fuss over a cough. It’s ridiculous, really.” 
“Stop treating it like a joke!” Theo snapped, his voice echoing off the walls. You had never heard him speak to his grandmother like this, which told you how truly upset he was about the entire situation. “I could’ve lost you, nonna. I can’t — I can’t go through that again.” 
Nonna’s expression softened. She knew more than anyone how the loss of her daughter nearly broke Theo. “I’m alright, Theodore. I apologize for worrying you, but I promise that everything is fine.” Theo’s shoulders slumped, the tension easing from his body as his grandmother held his hand. “Besides, you can’t get rid of me that easily. Who’s going to help plan you and Y/N’s wedding?” 
A choked sob broke free from your throat. You hadn’t even realized that you were holding in tears until this moment. For the past hour, you were focused on doing whatever it took to get to Rome. Now that you were standing before nonna, the possibility of losing her crashed over you all at once. 
You sniffled and wiped an errant tear away as she took your hand. “Don’t cry, piccolina. It’ll take more than a silly little cough to take me out.” 
“We were so worried,” you confessed. “We just wanted to make sure you were okay.” 
“I’m alive and kicking,” she joked. In a softer tone, she said, “Thank you for accompanying Theodore. As upset as I am that you both skipped the Yule Ball to be here, I am glad I got to see the two of you like this. You make a beautiful couple.” 
“Nonna,” Theo groaned. “Now is really not the time.” 
Nonna rolled her eyes, ignoring her grandson. “So, tell me. When did Theodore finally pluck up the courage to ask you to be his date?” 
Theo sighed, knowing that there was no stopping his grandmother. He busied himself with tidying up her surroundings, flinging the curtains open to reveal a stunning view of the city. Rome was a beauty to behold, its ancient streets thrumming with excitement even at this late hour. In the distance, you could make out the Sistine Chapel under the glittering stars.
“I was actually supposed to go with someone else.” Up until this point, you had completely forgotten all about Montague. You knew you’d have to deal with that when you returned, but he seemed rather insignificant given all that had occurred. “Graham Montague.” 
Nonna wrinkled her nose. The gesture told you all you needed to know about her opinion of him. “If you were going with the Montague boy, then why are you and my grandson matching?” 
Your gaze flickered up to Theo’s baby blue vest and tie, which were both a perfect match to the color of your ball gown. “I don’t know, actually. Teddy never saw my dress. I might have mentioned that I was wearing blue, but not the exact shade.” 
“This is the shade of blue that you always say you look best in,” Theo explained. “It’s your favorite color. Everyone knows that.” 
“Nobody knows that.” 
“Well, I know that.” 
Graham certainly hadn’t. You had shown him the exact color, yet he still picked the wrong shade to wear. You thought that perhaps boys were just clueless when it came to this sort of thing. After all, blue was blue. But Theo knew. Of course he knew.
An amused smirk appeared on nonna’s face as she watched the interaction. She was outright grinning when Theo busied himself with her pillows, fluffing them quite aggressively to hide the flush on his cheeks. You couldn’t help but smile. 
An hour later, Theo’s cousin Aldo finally arrived from Vallara. It had been a nightmare to journey to Rome, given that the floo station in the countryside closed earlier than most. Aldo had to travel to Amalfi by apparating, which took quite the toll on him. Regardless, he was glad to see that nonna was in stable condition. 
The rest of Theo’s cousins piled into the small room, nearly causing a fire hazard from the sheer amount of people packed in such a tiny space. The two of you gave them time to fuss over nonna, happily changing into the extra clothes they had brought. The ball gown was a feat to remove, the tulle and silk nearly suffocating you as you tried to maneuver out of it in the bathroom stall. In the end, you prevailed. Despite the fact that Theo’s sweats and hoodie nearly swallowed you whole, you were thankful to be in comfier clothing. 
After chatting with his cousins and ensuring that nonna would be properly cared for, the two of you said your goodbyes. You wished you could stay longer, but it was time to return to the castle. Under the silver moon, you and Theo walked through the empty streets, marveling at the beauty of Rome. 
“I never got to tell you,” Theo said suddenly. “You look beautiful tonight.” 
“Looked,” you corrected. “No offense, but my dress was a little more fashionable than this outfit.” 
“You could wear a plastic bag and I’d still think that you’re beautiful, bella.” 
You flushed at the compliment, hiding its effect behind a curtain of hair. “Thank you, Teddy.” 
“No, thank you. I couldn’t have gotten through all of that without you.” Theo took your hand, twirling the emerald ring on your finger with a small smile. “I’m sorry that I messed things up for you with Montague.” 
“Don’t lie, Teddy. You’re not sorry.” 
Theo smiled sheepishly. “You’re right. I’m not.” 
“It’s alright. It probably wouldn’t have worked out between us anyways.” 
“Why do you say that?” 
“I don’t think he really knew me,” you mused. “He couldn’t even remember my favorite color.” 
“What an idiot,” teased Theo. “Still, you must be bummed about missing the ball. I know you were looking forward to it.” 
“There will be other balls,” you responded. “This was more important.” 
Theo lifted your hand and brushed his lips against your knuckles. “I’m really glad you’re here with me, bella.” 
“Me too, Teddy,” you whispered softly. “Me too.” 
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Day Four, The Clay Cliffs
Laughter emanated from your phone while you recounted the events of the past few days to your parents. When you described the trip to the Temple of Cupid, your mum teared up as your dad comforted her in the back garden. The two of them were having afternoon tea when you called, which was the perfect time to chat and catch up. 
Attempting to lighten the mood, your dad peered into the screen. “Is that the infamous convertible?” 
You grinned and panned around the baby blue car, which you were currently lounging in as you waited for the rest of your friends to arrive. Theo insisted on driving up the Clay Cliffs, while Pansy and the boys rented bikes to take the more scenic route. You had absolutely no desire to struggle up the cliffside, so you opted to accompany your best friend instead. 
As if on cue, Theo bounded back into the car after begrudgingly helping a group of tourists with directions. “Hi Laurel! Hi Alistair!’” 
Your parents waved as Theo slipped into the driver seat. He grinned into the camera before snatching your favorite heart shaped sunglasses off your head and placing them over his eyes. “Hi, Theo. Congratulations on the car. She’s a beauty!”
“Theo hasn’t hit a single curb our whole trip. The driving lessons finally paid off, dad.” 
“I’m proud of you, son.” 
Beside you, Theo flushed and shyly thanked your dad. Shifting in his seat, he grabbed the phone from your hand and squeezed himself into frame. No matter how many times you explained the technology of video calls to him, Theo still wasn’t convinced that it wasn’t a form of magic. 
“The garden looks great, Alistair.” Theo lowered his sunglasses and squinted at the screen. “The cherry tree looks like it’s blooming.” 
You furrowed your brow. “When did you add a cherry tree?” 
“The start of summer,” your dad answered. “Theo helped me plant it before he left for Vallara.” 
“He also cooked us a fantastic dinner,” your mum added. She looked wistful, probably fantasizing about your best friend’s cooking. “I still dream about that carbonara.” 
“I promise to cook it for you the next time I visit.” 
“Speaking of which,” your dad interjected. “Are we still on for Sunday tea when you’re back in town?” 
“Of course,” Theo assured. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” 
“You guys are having tea without me?” you asked incredulously. 
Your mum nodded. “Well, we have to do something to fill our time while our little girl is off at Oxford.” 
Theo nudged you, smiling. “Don’t worry, bella. Now that I have my car, I can come and kidnap you during the weekends.” 
You beamed. “Thanks, Teddy.” 
Just then, you heard bells ringing through the clearing. The rest of your friends had finally caught up, racing up the narrow trail in colorful bikes. 
Mattheo honked his horn, the wind plastering his curls to his cheek as he pedaled uphill. “Come on lovebirds, it’s time. Last one to dive off the cliff owes the group a round tonight!” 
Your mum let out a surprised squeak. “Please tell me you’re not jumping headfirst off a cliff.” 
“I would, but then I’d be lying.” 
“Y/N  Y/L/N!” 
“Hm, what was that, mum? I think you’re breaking up.” 
Theo snickered as your mum began to lecture the two of you. Fortunately, your dad talked her down before she could continue her rant. “Bye, sweetheart, have fun! You too, son. Take care of our little girl. Love you both.” 
Your best friend waved at your parents, a grin present on his face. “Always! Love you, miss you. See you soon!” 
“Love you mum and dad. Talk to you later!.” 
After bidding your parents goodbye, you and Theo made your way up to the top of the Clay Cliffs. At the peak, Mattheo waved you towards the cliff’s edge. Cautiously, you made your way over to where the rest of the boys stood. The four of them were busy placing bets on who could do the most flips before landing. 
Pansy rolled her eyes. “Just make sure you don’t break your neck. It would put a damper on my holiday.” 
“My money’s on you,” you stated as you draped an arm over her shoulder. You don’t know why the boys bothered. Pansy was by far the most athletic out of all of you. 
“Are you making the jump this year?” 
Your stomach flipped as you peered over the cliffside. The drop was at least fifty feet, which was intimidating enough without your paralyzing fear of heights. Still, you were determined to face this phobia of yours once and for all. You didn’t know when you’d get another chance to share this moment with your favorite people. Despite your determination, it didn’t make the task less daunting. 
Steeling yourself, you nodded. “Yes. It would be a shame to come all this way and not do it.” 
Pansy smiled and squeezed your hand. “You’ve got this, babe.” 
The support gave you a little boost of confidence, especially after the boys assured you that they’d all be waiting at the bottom and cheering you on. You watched in anticipation as Blaise and Draco went first, their dives perfectly synchronized as they flipped two times in the air before slicing through the water. 
“Showoffs,” Mattheo muttered as he kicked off his shoes. He squinted at the waves below, no doubt calculating if he can beat Blaise and Draco. 
“You’ve got this, Matt,” you encouraged. “You’re by far the most obnoxious competitive person I know. Show them how it’s done.” 
“Thanks, I think?” Mattheo responded with an amused chuckle. He raised a brow as a mischievous grin tugged at his lips. “Mind giving me a good luck kiss?” 
“I will kick you off this damn cliff,” Theo threatened.
With a smirk, Mattheo saluted the two of you before joining your friends below. Just as you predicted, he executed three flips on the way down. Enzo went shortly after and tied with Mattheo, much to the latter’s annoyance. Pansy gracefully followed with a series of four flips that had you cheering and whistling. 
Finally, it was your turn. You slowly peeled your dress off and carefully arranged it next to everyone else’s clothes. Theo tugged his shirt off before flinging it in the same general direction. You shook your head as you folded it up for him, rolling your eyes fondly while he apologized with a sheepish grin. 
Those familiar watercolor eyes snagged on your blue dotted bikini, the heat of his gaze sending shivers down your spine. You couldn’t help but return the favor, cheeks heating as you shamelessly scanned Theo’s toned chest and chiseled abs. When he was younger, Theo often complained about his lanky build, but you liked how tall and lean he was. He’d certainly grown into it now. As if those mesmerizing eyes and sex tousled waves and impish grin wasn’t enough, Theo also had to be funny and kind and sweet. 
Truly, it was unfair to the rest of the world. 
“Are you nervous, bella?” 
You shook off your daydreams and returned to reality. “A little.” You made the mistake of looking down at the waves below. From this point of view, everything seemed that much more terrifying.  “Is it silly that I’m scared?” 
Theo gently grabbed your hand, prying you away from anxiously twisting your emerald ring. “I don’t think it’s silly at all,” he replied. “It’s normal to feel scared.” 
“But you’re not scared of anything.” 
Your best friend chuckled. “Are you kidding? I’m scared of everything, all the time. I just act like I’m not.” 
“Really?” 
Theo nodded. “Do you remember the first time I met the guys?” 
“At Malfoy Manor, right? When we were eight.” 
“I was so scared that they wouldn’t like me, that they wouldn’t understand my accent, but mostly I was scared that you’d figure out that they were funnier and smarter and cooler than I was and I’d lose my best friend.” 
Your expression softened. “You could never lose me, Teddy.” 
“I know that now,” Theo said with a smile. “But back then, I was terrified. Until you told me that we were a package deal. That if they didn’t like me, then you didn’t like them either because we came as a pair. You couldn’t have one without the other.” 
“I was only stating the obvious.” 
“Maybe, but you don’t know what that meant to me. Besides mum, no one has ever stood up for me like that. I remember you threatening to push Flint into the garden fountain when he said I sounded funny even though he was older and bigger than the both of us combined.” 
The memory made you chuckle. “If only I had that courage now.” 
“You do,” Theo assured you. “My point is, you’re the bravest person I know. I’m never scared when I’m with you.” 
“You’ve never told me that before,” you said softly, sniffling a little. You couldn’t help it. Theo knew exactly what to say to put your mind at ease. 
“I was saving it for the view,” Theo replied cheekily. “It really gives it that theatrical effect.” 
Though you could still feel your heart beating against your ribcage, your anxiety lessened. You squeezed Theo’s hand, mostly to remind yourself that he was here with you. His presence always grounded you. 
“Will you jump with me?” you asked shyly. 
Theo’s smile was like a shot of espresso, warm and soothing as it surged through your nervous system like caffeine. You could see why people said that coffee was as addictive as the next hard drug, because you were pretty sure that you’d chase this high for the rest of your life. 
Your heart soared as he squeezed your hand back. “Of course, fragolina,” he declared proudly. “I’d be offended if you didn’t pick me to do something so stupid and reckless with.” 
“You’re quite right. The most stupid and reckless things I’ve ever done in my life have included you in some way or another.” 
Theo grinned and kissed the back of your knuckles. “You’re stalling.” 
“Maybe a little bit.” 
“We’ll do it together,” he said. “Like everything in life. On the count of three, we jump, okay?” 
“Okay.” 
“One…two…”
“Wait, jump on three or after three?” 
“Now!” 
With a scream, you and Theo broke out into a sprint and leapt off the cliffside. Your stomach turned inside out and upside down while your heart galloped in your chest. The adrenaline kicked in as you plunged through the water, the waves splashing all around you as you kicked back up to the surface. 
It was scary, it was exhilarating, but most of all, it was reassuring because when you broke free, Theo was still holding your hand.
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Later that night, you found yourself ducking into the mouth of a cave. Behind you, the boys grumbled as they crouched, nearly hitting their heads on the jagged rocks. Draco mumbled something about sullying his expensive silk button down, while Enzo mocked his cousin with an overly snooty accent. 
“Are you sure this is the right place?” Blaise asked warily. 
“Have I ever steered you wrong, Zabini?” 
“Do you want me to answer honestly?” 
To be fair, you couldn’t exactly blame Blaise for doubting your best friend. Theo promised to bring you and your friends to the hottest party in town only to lead you into the heart of a cave. 
Theo rolled his eyes. “Just a little more,” he urged. “Then you’ll see that Theodore Nott always delivers. Isn’t that right, bella?” 
You scoffed. “Well, Theodore Nott needs to deliver a little faster, because my feet are absolutely killing me. Had I known we were going spelunking, I would’ve opted out of heels.” 
“I second that,” Pansy huffed in annoyance. “I’m honestly considering throwing my stiletto at your head, Nott.” 
“Keep your shoes to yourself, ladies,” Theo warned as he led you further into the cave. 
In the distance, you could hear the muffled sound of music and the thump of the bass echoing through the rock. You gaped as the crowd came into view. Lights flashed along the cavern, pulsing to the beat of the music. The inside of the cave looked like a club, complete with a DJ, a fully stocked bar, and a makeshift dance floor. 
“How did you even know about this?” Draco asked. 
“I was invited by a local,” Theo responded slyly. “Speaking of which, here’s our host now.” 
The local was none other than Dante, who was now strolling up to your group with a tray full of limoncello. You watched in confusion as Theo exchanged cheek kisses with Dante as though they were old friends. 
“Well, this is a pleasant surprise,” Pansy greeted. 
“Indeed,” Dante agreed. “I must admit, I was surprised when Theo called me up after your visit to the vineyard. I got the feeling that he wasn’t too fond of me.” 
“What would ever make you think that?” quipped your best friend. 
Dante chuckled. “After he proposed a fresh start, I couldn’t help but agree. Besides, there is no way I’d pass up the chance to show you the hottest party in town. Welcome to Vallara’s most exclusive club, my friends.” 
“Wow,” Mattheo exclaimed. “This is sick.” 
Enzo nodded in agreement. “Is that a body paint station? Did that girl just take off her top — where are you going, Mattheo? Hey, wait for me!” 
You chuckled as the two boys hustled to the other side of the room. Theo rolled his eyes and apologized for their behavior, but Dante merely waved it off before passing out the limoncello. 
“To new friends,” Theo proposed. 
Dante clinked his glass with his. “To new friends!” 
The limoncello was dangerously sweet and smooth, its tart aftertaste causing your face to pucker. The drinks flowed after that as Dante introduced your group of friends to the crowd. For the most part, everyone in attendance was a local, which made you feel honored to be welcomed into their midst. 
As always, Theo was a natural at working the crowd. Your best friend seemed to have taken your advice to heart, because he and Dante were currently laughing and chatting with yesterday’s not-so-great first impression clearly forgotten. From the glimpses you stole from the dance floor, Theo was currently trying to play wingman, talking Dante up to a very handsome local. He took the job quite seriously, politely declining any attention thrown his way. 
“How is it fair that Nott is turning girls away while none of them will even look at me?” complained Mattheo. 
“It’s because you reek of desperation.” Draco responded honestly, brushing off a nonexistent piece of lint from his shirt. 
“And he doesn’t?” Mattheo exclaimed. “Theo’s been following Y/N around like a lost puppy all summer. Hell, all his life.” 
“That’s not desperation, you dolt,” Pansy scoffed. “That’s love.” 
You rolled your eyes. “Theo’s not in love with —” The protest died in your throat as Theo caught your eye from across the room. His face lit up when he spotted you like you were the beacon he’d been searching for in the dark. 
Mattheo ignored your comment entirely. “So if I fall in love, girls will flock to me?” 
Draco shook his head. “That’s not the point. When you fall in love, no one else matters. You can’t even see anyone but them. You just know deep down inside that you’ve found your person.” 
“Y/N.” You startled as Theo hugged you from behind, resting his chin on your shoulder. 
“What?” asked Mattheo.
“My person,” Theo clarified. “It’s Y/N. That’s what Draco was talking about, right?” 
Draco smirked. “Told you, Riddle.” 
The shit eating grins remained on your friend’s faces even during the walk home from the cave. It didn’t help that Theo insisted on giving you a piggyback ride through the cobblestone streets after one too many complaints about your aching feet. As he set you down on the bathroom counter, Theo shook his head. 
“I will never understand why you choose to punish yourself this way, bella.”
You shrugged, watching as your best friend removed the death traps from your feet. “Beauty is pain, Teddy.” 
“Must be why I’m always aching,” Theo remarked with a dramatic sigh. “Pretty hurts.” 
You snorted as you jumped off the counter and began your ten step skincare routine. Theo traded places with you, swinging his long legs while he handed you product after product. He grinned like a little kid when you swiped toner, moisturizer, and serum onto his face.  Not that he needed it. Irritatingly enough, his skin was clear as day without the aid of expensive products. 
After you finished brushing your teeth together, the two of you changed into pajamas and settled for the night. You buried yourself in bed, sighing at the cold sheets and fluffy pillows. Theo made his way over to the love seat that he’d been sleeping on for the past few nights, but it was gone. Nowhere to be found. He stared at the empty spot in complete bafflement. 
“Is the couch…”
“Yup.” 
“Completely gone?” 
“Mhm."
“Disappeared off the face of the earth.” 
“Seems like it.” 
“Oh god,” you groaned. “I’m sorry, Teddy. I have a feeling this is Pansy’s doing. She’s been scheming all summer. First the honeymoon suite and then this.” 
“It’s okay, fragolina,” Theo assured you. “I can just sleep on the living room couch.”
You shook your head vehemently. “You shouldn’t have to sleep on the couch.” 
“I’m fine, bella.” 
“Theo,” you whisper, your voice disrupting the blissful bubble of silence. “I don’t want you to sleep on the couch.” 
Realization flooded Theo’s features. He smiled softly, shy and sweet as he made his way over to you. Making room for him, you threw the blankets back and watched as he crawled into bed beside you. Theo settled on his side, his head resting on the pillow as he faced you. 
You mirrored his action, suddenly feeling vulnerable as those piercing blue eyes flitted over you. “Hi.” 
Theo grinned. “Hi.” 
The two of you stared at each other for a moment. The serene sounds of the countryside lapped all around you; the gentle breeze swaying gently through the open window, the soothing lull of the waves kissing the shore, all of it syncing with the rhythmic beating of your heart. 
The moonlight streamed into the room in glittering strips of silver, its light bathing Theo in its ethereal glow. His fluffy hair, his boyish grin, his sleepy eyes. You had never seen anything more beautiful and breathtaking in your life. 
“You’re my person, too.” 
The smile on his face would’ve put the stars to shame. The gravity of it was magnetizing, drawing you in like an inevitable force. 
“Do you know that you’re my favorite person in this entire world?” 
“I had a feeling,” Theo teased. You scoffed and rolled your eyes, preparing a sarcastic response, but you stopped short when he leaned closer. His knuckles brushed against your cheek. “I’d say the same, but it seems like an understatement to call you my favorite person in the world when you are my world.” 
“Teddy…”
“Too cheesy?” he asked with a boyish grin. 
“No, it’s perfect.” You took his face in your hands, cataloging every freckle and mole as though everything about him wasn’t already seared into your mind. “You’re perfect.” 
You didn’t know who moved first. It might’ve been him, it might’ve been you, but at the end of the day, all that mattered was that his lips were on yours. As Theo kissed you, you realized then that you’d never truly known what it meant to hunger, to crave — not truly. Not like this. 
The kiss itself was soft and gentle and sweet, but it was also all-consuming. The pressure of his lips against yours brought you relief. It was the breaking of clouds, the pattering of rain, the downpour after an endless drought. 
Your fingers slipped through his silky locks as Theo tugged you closer, his hands snaking around you in a tight embrace as though he was afraid you might disappear. You wanted to tell him that you weren’t going anywhere. You couldn’t even if you tried, but you were too drunk on him — his scent, his touch, his kisses. 
This, you thought, was exactly what you were made for. 
Theo pulled away, his gaze tender as it flickered over your face. You touched your fingers to your lips, already missing the absence of his kisses. 
“I’ve been waiting for that all my life,” Theo whispered in awe.
“I had a feeling,” you teased back.
“I like when you’re cheeky,” Theo chuckled, burying his face in your neck. He placed a kiss under your jaw. “And I like how soft your skin is.” Another kiss on your cheek. “I like how red and flushed you get when I compliment you.” 
Theo pressed his lips against yours Once, twice, three times. Just because he could. Just because he wanted to savor the taste of your cherry chapstick, to swallow the soft little sigh that escaped your mouth every time he kissed you, to acclimate himself to the new reality of getting to snog his best friend whenever and wherever he wanted. 
“I just really like you.” 
You smiled into the kiss. “I really like you too, Teddy.” 
The confession was the tip of the iceberg of how you felt for him, but it would do for now. As Theo held you in his arms, you listened to the rhythmic pulse echoing in your chest. 
Your heart thumped to the beat of his name. Theo, Theo, Theo. 
It always had and it always will.
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234 notes · View notes
goldenbuckyyy · 2 years ago
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IT’LL BE OKAY
Summary: After your Halloween hookup with Eddie Munson, it never really ended from there. Now it’s Valentine’s Day.
Pairings: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader
Word count: 6.3kish
Warnings: SMUT (!!), oral (f!&m! receiving), vaginal fingering, raw sex, multiple orgasms, dirty talk, cream pie, making out, dry humping, some angst, crying.. anything else?! Let me know!!
A/N: I had been wanting to write some Eddie for a while now and a lot of people loved part 1! So, decided to write another part to it! I had originally wanted to post it on Feb. 14, but as always.. life and work happens!! So, hopefully you all enjoy. 🥹 I’m tagging whoever asked to be tagging in the first part! Song title inspo: “It’ll be okay” by Shawn Mendes.
All mistakes are my own. Please do not repost or translate my fics on any other side nor this one. 
I appreciate any likes, reblogs, messages, and interactions. Please message me your thoughts! Love reading them. 🫶🏻
Part 1 | Main Masterlist
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Eddie usually hated Valentine’s Day. 
He hated the whole pink and red hearts vibes, the way the word “love” was splattered on every open surface, and the way he would see couples left and right. 
He had never celebrated Valentine’s Day with someone. Not in his eighteen years of life. 
He doesn’t think he’s ever even had sex on Valentine’s Day either. 
Maybe that’s why he hates it so much. 
But, man… you love Valentine’s Day. 
You never specifically said it out loud, but he knew you loved it. 
You loved pink hearts and your clothing sure showed it. You had cardigans with hearts all over them, you had a bag in a heart shape, you’d draw hearts all over him and his tattoos when you guys would lay down naked in bed, and he loved the way you looked lately as you walked down the decorated halls of Hawkins High School. 
He loved seeing your wide smile as you admired all the decorations, the way you’d reach out to touch them with your fingertips with your bright red painted nails, and he especially loved the way he noticed your cheeks blush when someone would ask you who you were going to spend your Valentine’s Day with. 
You’d blow off the question with a laugh and a shrug knowing damn well you had already said no to over a million of guys who had asked you out. 
And when your friends weren’t looking, your eyes would slowly travel to where Eddie was. Where he always was. Leaning against his lockers that were across from you, he was surrounded by his friends, and your eyes would lock with his. 
You’d blush every single time you noticed that he was already looking at you. You’d get flustered and proceed to look away with a shy smile on your lips. 
Eddie wondered how you were the same girl he fucked recklessly in that bathroom at Kassidy Norway’s house that Halloween night. 
That night lived in Eddie’s thoughts for ages. Shit, it still does most nights. 
Nowadays, Eddie had wayyyy more images than he ever thought he’d ever get a chance to see. He was a lucky, very lucky, man. 
He’s seen every inch of you. He knows every inch of you. 
He’s also seen you bent down against a wall in the back of the old movie theater. An image of your skirt bundle up over your ass and your panties shoved to the side flash in his thoughts. 
He’s seen you down on your knees, peebles scraping the skin around them, because you couldn’t wait to get into the car to get him in your mouth. The way you moaned as he fucked your mouth with his cock and the way you shoved your fingers inside your panties to touch yourself. 
He’s seen you spread out in the back of his van, naked as the day you were born, and completely blissful. The way you’d lay out after he’d fuck you would send him chills. He’d fuck you anyway you liked it. Anything you asked of him, he’d do. 
He’s seen you bouncing on his thighs, sitting on his face, riding his fingers, legs behind your head, back arched with your ass up, and Eddie’s pretty sure he’s sporting a semi right now as he thinks about all of this. 
Eddie smiles once you wave bye to your friends and that’s his cue to do the same. He tells the guys he’ll see them later and he strolls towards you. 
You spot him walking towards you and you smile lazily. 
The same smile you wore last night when he dropped you off at your house after some mind blowing sex and some deep talk at his trailer. And maybe a little dancing in your underwear on his bed as he played his guitar. 
He always had fun when he was with you. 
“Hi,” you say with a hip tilt and batting your eyelashes. Your fingertips reach toward his face to push his curls behind his ears. 
“You don’t gotta do all that for me, sweetheart. You already got me wrapped around this,” he grips your hand in his and bites your index finger with a smirk, “little finger.” 
You roll your eyes as he reaches for your bag and proceeds to hold your stuff while he walks you to class. 
Eddie indulges you on whatever topic of the day, giving his input when needed, and then you’re outside of your home room. 
You smile as Eddie hands you your bag and you both look at each other sheepishly. 
It’s always like this between you guys. Shy smiles and teasing grins at school, but completely different in private. Eddie loved it. He loved seeing you squirm in school because of his attention on you and then seeing the complete vixen that you truly are. 
“See you in the last block?” You question curiously, letting your fingers intertwine with his, not really caring who sees. You always said it wasn’t anybody’s damn business. 
Eddie kisses your cheek delicately, “I’m skipping.” 
“Eddie,” you scold as your eyes widen, but Eddie’s already jogging away from you with a smile on his face. 
“You won’t be scolding me tomorrow!” He yells at you and he doesn’t miss the way you break out into a big smile. His favorite smile. 
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At 7:30 am the next morning, right as you're walking out your front door to walk to school, you are standing on your porch when you see Eddie standing there with a big grin on his face. 
Your face immediately breaks out into a grin, “Eddie? What are you doing here?” Your eyes darting all over his body to simultaneously check him out and wondering why he has his hands behind his back. 
He’s grinning so hard that his dimples are showing and he looks so handsome. He’s in his regular attire, but you love it. He’s wearing his black jeans with his dangling chains, white chucks, his DnD long sleeve underneath his jean jacket, and his curly hair is messy. Curls framing his adorable face with his cut bangs covering his forehead. You want to run your hands through them. 
You walk up to him and place a quick kiss to his cheek. 
“I got you something,” Eddie says with a whisper and slight hint of mischief behind his tone. You raise an eyebrow, following his arms as he untucks them from behind himself, and you gasp when he pulls out what he’s hiding. 
Eddie watches you as your eyes swell up with adornment and you sigh so lovely that it’s almost sickening the way his heart flutters at your expression. 
He holds onto the fluffy pink teddy bear he had gotten you that has a big heart in the center of it with the words, “Kiss me” splattered in the center. 
He holds it out for you as your expression goes from surprised to amusement to completely grateful in the span of fifteen seconds. You reach for it and squeeze it into your chest. 
“You shouldn’t have,” you quickly say with a breathless smile and Eddie swears he sees tears in your eyes. 
Eddie pulls you into his arms, wrapping his around your torso as the bear gets squished between you guys, and he leans down to kiss your sweet tasting lips. 
He kisses you easily and softly. Almost like it’s second nature to him already. His warm hands grip the sides of your cheeks as your lips move against his in a rhythm that feels natural. 
It’s almost unfair how soft and sweet your lips feel against Eddie’s. Eddie almost wants to come undone right here on your front steps. 
Your free arm, the one not holding your brand new and favorite teddy bear, wraps around Eddie’s shoulders with ease and you pull against his back to move closer into you. 
He chuckles into your mouth and you can feel him smiling which causes you to smile and to slowly pull away, but before you do you give him a million pecks on his lips as you both giggle childishly. 
“You’re sweet on me,” you whisper into his lips as you slowly shove away some of his loose curls that tickle your cheeks. 
“Always am, sugar.” 
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In your last class, which surprisingly was the only class you had with Eddie, you were already anxiously waiting for the school day to end. You had already been wanting to give Eddie his gift and you were in your headspace about it when you heard multiple people calling out your name. 
You snap out of your thoughts and immediately sit up straight when Mrs. Johnson is walking over to you with a big bundle of red roses in a glass vase. 
Your mouth parts open in shock as she hands you the vase and you set it down on your desk. You can feel yourself blushing as the girls around you are giggling and asking who sent you the roses. 
“They’re beautiful, honey. You are a lucky lady,” Mrs. Johnson says with her sweet smile and honey voice. You whisper a quick thank you as you easily look over your shoulder at Eddie who’s sitting in the back row. 
He’s staring right at you with a smirk on his face which causes you to break out into a cheeky smile. 
You inhale the sweet scent of the beautiful roses in front of you and sigh in contentment. How did you get this lucky? And who would have thought that Eddie Munson was a secret romantic? 
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“Thank you for my roses,” you pant out above Eddie as your arms wrap around his shoulders and your hands go into his curls. Eddie moans as he starts kissing your neck, running his hands up your naked thighs and underneath your pink skirt, and when he reaches your core, he groans with his head tilting back to meet your eyes. 
You smile as you pull his lips to yours once more, “I forgot to put them back.” You whisper teasingly into his mouth. 
Eddie almost cums at your words as he moves his fingers to your pussy, which is already soaked, and he loves that you do stuff like this. Always doing something that shocks him. He fucking loves you. 
Wait..
Does he love you? 
Yeah, he’s pretty sure he’s in love with you. 
He thinks he wants to tell you that tonight. Maybe make whatever this is between you two official. 
He slips one of his fingers into your warm heat and you whimper as you feel your walls tightening around his digit. Your nails dig into the skin behind his neck and you start grinding your hips against his own. You feel how hard he is underneath his jeans and you can almost feel him throbbing. 
Eddie grips your neck with his free hand, kissing you roughly as he slips in another finger, curling both of them in you to hit your spot, and the feeling of him stretching you out makes shives run down your back. 
Eddie moves his thumb to your clit and starts moving his fingers together, trying to get you to your peak, “Fuck me, sweetheart. You’re absolutely dripping.” 
You lick his lips to taste him, “All for you.” 
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After a heated almost sex almost orgasm make out sesh in Eddie’s van, you had told him to come back around nine pm once you knew your parents were asleep in bed and thankfully they were both deep sleepers. 
You told him to go through the window and now here you are. 
Waiting for him in only your babydoll pink outfit. 
It shouldn’t even be considered an outfit by how it was basically mesh and didn’t leave anything to the imagination. 
But you knew Eddie was going to go feral over it. He’s seen you naked plenty of times, but never in anything like this. 
The lingerie was baby pink in color with matching underwear. The little dress fanned out on your waist which you loved. And you looked at yourself in the mirror once more.. just to admire the cute outfit before Eddie ripped it off of you. 
You hear a soft knock on your window which causes your heart to race immediately and you rush to open it. The cold Indiana air rushing over your skin and making goosebumps arise all over you. 
You stand back as Eddie makes his way into your room. You quickly settle into the bed, crossing your legs, and leaning back to make your body look appetizing and wanting for him. You adjust your hair to fall over your shoulders and you hope you look as good as you feel right now. 
Eddie is adjusting his jacket over your empty chair and ruffling his hair as he looks over at you for the first time and he stops in his tracks. 
His lips part open, baby brown eyes going wide, and he puts his hand on his chest dramatically. “Are you trying to give me a heart attack, baby?”
You giggle, “Maybe.” You hook your toe into one of his belt loops and pull him into you as best as you can. His cold hands touch your burning thighs and it feels amazing. 
“You look breathtaking,” your lover says as he cups your face in his hands and leans down to kiss your lips. 
Eddie crushes his own lips against yours, moaning at the taste of your sweet chapstick, and how you always seem to reciprocate to him in the best way. 
He loves the way your arms automatically wrap around his shoulders and the way you lean back to spread your legs wide open for his own hips to mold into yours. 
Eddie pulls away slowly, your arms unlinking from behind his neck, and falling down to your sides as you watch him watching you. 
His eyes take in your flushed cheeks, to your already swollen lips, the straps of your lingerie are falling down your shoulders, and it makes Eddie want to groan. 
He looks at your perky breasts covered in the mesh and your pretty nipples are pointy. He rubs his thumbs on both of them over the lingerie and you gasp as the sudden contact. Your thighs rub together as he thumbs your nipples in between his fingers. 
“You’re a fucking dream,” Eddie whispers as he licks his lips while he moves his hands down your full breasts and to the opening of the lingerie. He lets his hands go under the opening and holds onto the curve of your waist. 
“A fucking dream,” he mutters again as he moves his hands down to your matching mesh underwear and he slips his hands underneath the sides. 
Then, Eddie slips down to his knees and he’s pulling your underwear down with him. 
You feel the cold air hit your already soaked area and you whimper as Eddie removes your underwear from your legs. He starts kissing you from your ankles to your inner thighs and that’s where he starts leaving small bites of kisses all over you.  
You adjust yourself onto the edge of your bed, soft goosebumps covering your body as you wait in anticipation for Eddie to touch you, to do anything to you, and you close your eyes when you feel his warm breath against your pussy. 
You feel his fingers slowly start to spread you open and you feel his tongue flick your opening slightly. 
You gasp in pleasure, your belly tightening in want, and your breathing is rising as Eddie licks a strip from your aching hole to your pulsating clit. 
And Eddie feels obsessed with you. He’s obsessed with your pretty legs, your pretty thighs, and your fucking pretty pussy. 
He’s obsessed with the way your body responds to his touches. The way he can spend hours kissing and marking your thighs. And how he loves the way you respond to the way he eats you out. 
He buries his face into your pussy as he starts eating you out as a starved man. He licks your folds, his fingers moving to open you up, and then proceeds to lick your aching hole once again. 
A tingling sensation runs through your spine which causes your back to curve upwards into the air, a pleasurable moan escaping from the back of your throat, and one of Eddie’s strong hands holds you down by your hip. 
He moves his lips towards your clip, sucking and licking it, and simultaneously inserts one of his fingers into your hole. You gasp as you grind your hips into him. 
Eddie moans into your pussy, sending vibrations into your core, and he starts to move his finger into you. Slowly opening you up. “Fuck, almost so fucking tight for me. All for me, right baby?” Eddie rushes out as he lays his tongue flat against your pussy, letting your juices coat his mouth and his chin, and when you look down to meet his eyes… he smiles so hard, his dimples show. 
“You’re a dream, baby.” 
Eddie continues to maintain eye contact with you as he sucks in all your juices. He pulls away, licking his lips messily, and watching your pussy clenching down his finger. He inserts another, your soaking walls clenching down again as you feel his other finger inside of you, and you grip onto the sheets underneath your body. 
Eddie starts panting a little as he watches you squirming underneath him, spread out in all your glory for him. Just for him. 
He watches the way you grind your hips into his fingers, the way your pussy soaks his fingers, and the way you confidently touch your body with your hands. Twisting your nipples in between your fingers and biting your bottom lip in want. 
The knot in the bottom of your belly is getting tighter as pleasure is seeping out of your pores. 
“E-Eddie,” you moan out as you reach down to wrap your hands into his curls and before he can say anything, you shove his head back down to your aching pussy. Needing him to finish you off. 
You hear Eddie chuckle as you shove him down and then he continues to eat you out, just the way you like it. His free hand moving underneath your hips and squeezing your ass in his hold. 
Eddie continues to pump his fingers inside of you, curling them in your walls, and sucking on your clit which makes your toes curl in anticipation. Your hands tighten around his curls, tugging generously, and he never stops. 
“Oh,” you moan out, back arching a little bit to move your center to the perfect angle that will help you achieve your orgasm, and Eddie only goes faster and harder. The knot in your belly starts to tighten and you feel almost over the edge. 
“Eddie, Eddie, E-Eddie,” you continue to moan out his name as you clench your eyes shut as you feel your orgasm take over your entire body. His fingers pump inside of you, his lips wrapped around your pulsating clit, and you bite onto your forearm to try and conceal your screams. 
Your toes curl against your bed as your orgasm washes completely over you as Eddie licks up all your juices until you're shaking and laying down limp on your bed. He removes his fingers from your sore pussy and you look down at him with a lazy smile, he sucks his fingers into his mouth with a moan. 
“You taste so sweet,” he whispers as he leans over to you and kisses you, open mouthed, and lazily with tongue. You taste yourself as you kiss him, both moaning together, and you bite his bottom lip. 
You moan as you wrap your arms around him, “I need you.” 
Eddie whimpers at your words and pulls away from you. He quickly starts to strip out of his clothes as you giggle. You sit on your calves as you both watch each other. He stumbles out of his boots, trying not to fall, and shoves off his jeans. 
You slowly pull off your babydoll outfit and toss it to the floor, watching Eddie as he yanks off his shirt, and you lean back on your elbows. 
Eddie slows down as he watches you spread out for him and he bites his bottom lip. He shoves down his boxers and his red-tipping, almost aching thick cock bounces up and down. He palms himself as he watches you, “Ready for me?” 
“Always am,” you whisper into the quiet room as you do grabby hands for him as his big, lean body towers over you. 
He slips his hand behind your back and one behind your head as your lips move messily against his own. He moves his hips against yours which causes his pulsating cock to move in between your folds and he allows himself to rub against your swollen clit. It sends bolts of electricity all over your body as you had just orgasmed. 
You both moan into each other’s mouth at the sensation, your arms wrapping around his neck to pull him closer into you, and you spread your legs wider to allow him easier access. He pulls away from your mouth, kissing your neck with small licks, and sucks a little bit near your collarbone. 
“You want me?” He whispers into your ear as he sucks on your earlobe. Chills run down your spine as a memory fills your brain when he asked you the same thing a couple months ago on Halloween night. 
You follow the same movements you did that night, pulling his face towards you as you cup his chin, eyes locking together, and you nod as you reach down to grip onto his length. Eddie lets out a shaky breath as he feels your warm hand wrap around him and you can feel him twitching in your hold. 
You thumb the tip of his cock, coating it with his pre-cum, and you rub him in between your folds. Eddie feels the same way he felt that night when he first had you underneath him. He’s aching for you, like he always does. He still feels like he’s going to explode just by being above you. 
You rub his throbbing cock along your soaking pussy and center him with your opening, “Take me.”
Eddie almost cums at your words as he kisses you again. He feels your opening against his cock and he pushes into your tight, warm, fucking delicious pussy. 
You both whimper together as he pushes into your tight hole, bottoming out, and feeling you stretching around him. It burns slightly, but it feels blissful. Never truly accommodating to his size and it always feels just as amazing. The stretch you feel when he enters you almost feels unexplainable. Every. Single. Time. 
Your limbs mesh together in sync, legs intertwined together, and hands touching everywhere they possibly can. You’re kissing each other with open mouths, tongue playing against each other, and then Eddie starts to move. His hands gripping your breasts roughly, twisting your nipples in between his fingers, and moving his mouth to suck bruises into each one of them. 
His thrust are slow and tender as he slowly moves in and out of you. His rhythm going easy and taking his time as he fully feels you around his cock, your pussy clenching around him, and your nails raking down his back. 
“Always so wet for me, huh princess?” 
“Always,” you whimper out as he starts to increase his speed above you. Your lover's hands move down to caress your belly and then he settles them onto your waist, holding down tightly as he tilts his own hips higher as he thrusts inside of you. 
You moan out loudly when you feel him hit the area that sends you the most pleasure, your mouth hanging open with your whines, and Eddie moves one of your legs up to your chest which causes his cock to enter into you at a different angle. 
You grip onto Eddie’s arms as he starts thrusting into you at a rapid, almost animalistic, speed. The wet sounds of his cock entering you fill your bedroom sweetly and you lean down to kiss his collarbone. The sweet smell of sex slowly filling your bedroom and you look up to admire Eddie’s. 
Eddie’s skin is flushed from his cheeks to his chest, tinted pink and beautiful, and you run your tongue on his neck as you reach his soft spot. You let yourself kiss and suck for a second, making sure you linger enough to mark him up. Just the way he likes it. 
“Fuckk,” Eddie whimpers out, “You always feel like fucking heaven. Tightest pussy I’ve ever had. M-Made just for me.” 
You twist your hips a little bit as you move your leg from your chest to rest above Eddie’s shoulder, tugging him by his arms lower into you, and you both gasp as you feel him fall deeper inside of you. Your pussy clenching around his cock trying to suction him in more. 
Eddie chokes on a moan as you squeeze your walls to grip onto his cock, knowing he loves when you do that, and he moves his hand in between your bodies. 
His fingers ghost over your pussy and he kisses your lips, open mouth kisses with his tongue tasting you, “Fuck, baby. I’m not even touching you yet and my fingers can feel your hot pussy aching for me.” 
You whimper as you tilt forward to catch his lips again while he moves his finger over your swollen clit and you cry out from the instant pleasure you feel. 
“Fuck,” he gasps out, clenching his eyes shut for a second, and he laughs. “I’m trying not to cum so hard right now.” 
“I’m close,” you whisper as you feel the aching feeling starting up at the pit of your belly once more and Eddie breaks out into a smile. 
“Thank fuck ‘cause I don’t know how much longer I can hold it,” Eddie says as he kisses your lips while he continues to move his finger against your clit. You feel the familiar sensation start to creep up in your toes, you wrap your arms around Eddie’s shoulders, and you start moving your hips against his to cause greater friction between you two. 
“Fuck, sweetheart. Are you ready to cum with me?” 
You nod frantically as your fingernails start to dig into Eddie’s shoulder blades as his free hand grips onto the plush of your hip. 
“Eddie,” you cry, “Fuck! Right there! Don’t stop! I’m about to—“
“Cum for me,” Eddie cuts you off with a demand. 
You gasp out at his demand and you quickly grab his face with both of your hands, your fingers caress his cheeks and his lips, and you both stare into each other in a breathless mess. 
“Together,” you whisper as you both keep moving together in sync. 
And then it happens. 
You choke on your moans as you feel your body explode with pleasure as your stomach tightens and your toes curl into your mattress. Your ears start ringing in white noise as you clench your walls around Eddie’s cock. 
Eddie swears he’s fucking a goddess right now because there’s no other explanation for the absolute dream that’s underneath him right now. 
Eddie watches you come undone under him and it completely triggers his own orgasm. Your tight walls clench around his throbbing cock and he lets himself release into your heavenly pussy. 
Eddie starts to thrust into you harder and faster as his cum fills your walls. You pull on his cheeks to make your lips meet his in the middle and you both are trying to find your breath through the kiss. 
Eddie rests his forehead against yours, softly pulling his lips away from yours, and he admires you as you smile blissfully up at him. Your cheeks are flushed, eyes glossy, hair a mess, and Eddie doesn’t think he’s ever seen someone more beautiful. 
But he’s always felt that way about you. 
He holds your ankle on his shoulder as he slowly pulls out of your cum filled pussy and you both hiss at the emptiness. 
Eddie reaches over to your bedside table and gets a couple tissues. He spends the next couple of minutes cleaning you up, slowly to not hurt your sore pussy, and it almost makes you ache for him all over again. 
Once he’s done cleaning you and himself, he relaxes next you and you pull the covers over your bodies. 
You smile sweetly at him, your heart rate finally slowing down, and you stretch for a second to twist and look at him. 
You admire him from his long, curly hair to his long dark eyelashes that coat his beautiful chocolate brown eyes to his pouty red, kissed out lips and when he catches you starting, he breaks out into a smile. 
You reach out to put your index finger in his dimple and he blushes under your touch. Eddie turns his body to also face you  
“So, babydoll.. who was your first?” Eddie asks nonchalantly as he twirls his fingers through your hair. 
Your eyes immediately go wide with shock at his question and you burst out into fits of giggles. You tug your covers over your naked chest, twisting to look at him, and you settle on your side. 
You can’t stop giggling as he joins in with you. 
“You can’t ask me that, Eddie!” 
“‘Course I can, baby. I’m in your bed naked after we just had mind blowing sex. I think I can ask you anything I want,” he teases with a sly smile that shows his white teeth. 
“You can’t get mad, okay?” 
Eddie’s eyes light up with interest as he proceeds to push himself up on his elbows, “I’m listening.” 
He watches you as you bite your bottom lip, your flushed out face and neck is calming down, and your hair is laid out messily all over you. 
But Eddie still thinks you're the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. 
That’s why when you say the name of the lucky bastard that you gave your virginity to.. Eddie lets out a choked gasp intertwined with a barking laugh. 
His eyes go wide as he watches you, “Did you just say Steve fucking Harrington?!” 
You cover your face with your hands as you smile widely behind them and Eddie can’t help but laugh so loudly that he’s clutching his belly. 
“Don’t laugh at me!! It was back in freshman year when we were dating, but it was very short lived and we moved past it.” 
You giggle with Eddie as you both clumsily sit down on the bed, facing each other, and then you suddenly see a look come across Eddie’s face that halts your laughter. 
His laughing dies down, his eyes downcast, and he’s frowning for a second. He quickly shakes his head from his thoughts and ruffles his hair to distract himself. 
“Hey, Eddie. What’s wrong?” You ask as you reach for his hand to hold in your own, your eyebrows furr down in confusion at his sudden change of mood. 
Eddie bites his bottom lip in thought before he moves his beautiful big puppy brown eyes to meet yours. 
“It’s just.. I’m not mad that you lost your virginity to Steve Harrington. I’m sure he was a good fuck or what-shit, ignore that! It’s just—fuck,” he blubbers rapidly and you squeeze his hand for him to continue as he sighs loudly, “it’s just.. Steve Harrington.. is Steve Harrington. He’s the popular guy. The handsome guy with the nice hair and cool car.” 
You tilt your head when Eddie watches you with expecting eyes as if you’re supposed to understand what he means, but you don’t get it. What’s so good about Steve? 
Not that there’s anything wrong with him. But you’re confused. 
“I don’t get it?” You say with confusion and a slight pout. 
Eddie looks down, rubbing his thumb on your hand, he says, “Steve is Steve and I’m.. well… I’m just me?”
His voice sounds small and suddenly you feel your heart tighten in your chest. 
“Oh,” you let out a shocked little sigh as you see a side of Eddie that he’s never shown you before. 
A side where he feels inferior to Steve Harrington and he’s showing how he’s insecure about it. 
“It’s just.. I’m just Eddie the weirdo that lives in a beat up trailer park with his uncle and I sell drugs for a living.” 
“Eddie,” you whisper as you try to reach for his face, but he pulls away. He’s suddenly shut himself down completely. 
He almost looks upset. 
“I’m nothing, god… I don’t know why it’s taken me so long to realize this.” 
Eddie is suddenly shaking his head and jumping out of your bed. You sit up in the bed, holding your sheets to your body, and Eddie is tugging on his clothes. 
“Jesus Christ,” he says with an exacerbated laugh and another shake of his head. 
“Eddie, please stop. I’m so confused, what’s going on?” You try to beg him as he simultaneously shoves on his boots and you shove off the sheets. 
You stand up, naked and without a care, and you stand in front of him as he adjusts his jean jacket over his shoulders. You put your hands on his shoulders to stop him and he curls into himself almost as he’s ashamed. 
He tries to avoid your eyes as you look up to him in confusion, your heart is racing, and you don’t know what’s happening. 
He finally looks down at you, his sad eyes taking in every inch of you, and he looks suddenly miserable. 
His fingertips slowly touch the curve of your waist and he quickly pulls his hands away as if your skin burned him. 
He slowly reaches down to your lips and kisses you slowly. You try to kiss him back, but he pulls away swiftly. 
“I’m nothing,” he says again with shame. 
“Eddie, you’re not—“ 
“I am,” he cuts you off. “And you’re.. god, you’re everything. You’re smart, funny, so fucking caring, and beautiful. You’re so gorgeous that it's honestly insane,” he chuckles as he meets your worried eyes, “You’re everything and you deserve better than me.” 
“Eddie, stop. You don’t—“ 
“I do,” he cuts you off again. “This was never going to work. We aren’t even really together. We’ve just been messing around for months, but we all know where this is going. You’re going to New York or LA to follow your dreams and I’m staying here. You’re going to become someone and I’ll always be a nobody. You don’t need me dragging you down.” 
Tears instantly fill your waterline, “Eddie, what are you talking about?” You beg him as your voice shakes and your lips quiver. 
He shuts his eyes for a moment as if the mere sight of you hurts him. 
“Don’t waste your tears on me, doll. I’m not worth it. You’re leaving in a couple months, so might as well end this before we get too into our heads.” 
He gets the blanket off your bed and quickly covers your body with it before he walks over to your window. 
You watch him, not knowing what to say, and you’re frowning deeply with tears staining your cheeks. What the hell is going on? 
He looks at you as he raises the window up, letting in the wind, “It’s easier like this, doll. Trust me.” He tries to smile, but his lips waver. 
You rush to him, gripping onto his hand that’s holding him steady as he eases himself out the window and onto the roof, “Don’t do this to me, Eddie Munson. Why are you doing this? Please.” 
He almost hesitates, but then he only tugs his hand away from your hold and you let out a whimper. 
“Sorry, doll. Guess you were just into this more than me.” 
He quickly rushes out the window, slamming it shut, and leaves you there with a shocked open mouth and a gasping breath. 
You cover your face as you scramble to sit on your bed. You hold the blanket over your naked body as you cry over what he said to you. 
Had you been more into this than him? 
Did he never really feel the same way you did? Why was it so easy for him to just end whatever this was? 
You grip onto the blanket as you quick step towards your window, looking at the overview you have of the street, and right under the tall street lamp is Eddie. 
Standing underneath the light, smoking a cigarette, kicking his feet on the ground, and then proceeds to get into his van. 
You watch every movement that he does, begging that he looks up at you, but he doesn’t. He just drives away. 
You wonder if he can hear your heart breaking. 
Eddie drives away in his van and his stereo is off. 
Eddie’s stereo is never off. It’s always the first thing he does when he gets in his van. He always turns it on and shuffles through millions of cassette tapes he has and goes through them until he picks the perfect one. 
But right now, he doesn’t want to hear anything. He wants to be alone with his thoughts. 
His stupid fucking thoughts. His stupid insecurities. The stupid ones that made him fuck off from you and ruin everything he had with you. 
Eddie slams the steering wheel with his palm as he rubs his eyes with his free one. He’s beyond frustrated with himself and is cursing at everything he sees. 
He’s such a fucking idiot. 
But he knows he’s right about one thing. 
You’re everything and he’s nothing. 
How could something like that possibly work? 
He scoffs as he feels a small tear run down his cheek, he grips the steering wheel even harder, and yells loudly. Trying to silence the thoughts in his brain. 
He knows it will never work. 
Now he just has to stay away from you and once school is over, he’ll never see you again. 
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rantingravingliving · 4 months ago
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Caution, Hot Jimin!
I just can't do 1 Thirstday post for Jimtober, right? Plus there are tons of carnal (well. in my opinion, haha) snapshots of my favorite Libra. So to leave us all breathless, here's the one and only PJM accompanied by some of the sexiest/thirstiest lyrics of all time.
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“I can imagine you touching my private parts/ With just the thought of you, I can’t help but touch myself” - “You’re Makin’ Me High” by Toni Braxton
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"Send chills up and down your spine / Juices flowing down your thigh." - "Pony" by Ginuwine
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“Ooh, when your lips undress me/ Hooked on your tongue/ Ooh, love, your kiss is deadly/ Don’t stop” - “Señorita” by Shawn Mendes feat. Camila Cabello
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“Throw your clothes, on the floor/ I’m gonna take my clothes off too/ I made plans to be with you” - “I’ll Make Love To You” by Boyz II Men
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“You’d be a fool to stop this tide/ Spread your wings and let me come inside” - “Tonight’s The Night” by Rod Stewart
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“Can you feel the magic in my hands/ When I touch and rub you the right way/ Stroke applied with tenderness/ When I hold and rub you the right way” - “Rub You The Right Way” by Johnny Gill
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“When you talk to me, when you’re moanin’ sweet & low/ When you’re touchin’ me and my feelin’s start to show” - “Feel Like Makin’ Love” by Roberta Flack
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"Dirty babe / You see these shackles? Baby, I'm your slave / I'll let you whip me if I misbehave" - “SexyBack” - Justin Timberlake
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"You got the peaches I got the cream/ Sweet to taste saccharine” - “Pour Some Sugar on Me” by Def Leppard
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"It's gettin' hot in herre (so hot) / so take off all your clothes / I am gettin' so hot, I wanna take my clothes off" - “Hot In Herre” by Nelly
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"Oh, turn the lights turn the lights down low/ Yeah, now I'm feeling you breathing slow" - “Lights Down Low” by MAX
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“Do that to me one more time/ Once is never enough with a man like you” - “Do That To Me One More Time” by Captain & Tennille
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“I can see you with nothing on/ Feeling on me before you bring that on” - “Promiscuous” by Nelly Furtado feat. Timbaland
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“I’ll take you to the candy shop, I’ll let you lick the lollipop” -“Candy Shop” by 50 Cent feat. Olivia
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chvoswxtch · 2 years ago
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Hi court my love can i have margarita on the rocks waking up with frank? i get sooo touch starved and soft when i first wake up and id like nothing more than to take it out on him it doesnt need to be yk if you dont feel like it just very intimate and touchy i love you so much
hi my darling nonnie!
i love YOU so much. so when i read this, the song fallin all in you by shawn mendes instantly came to mind, so that's what i based this off of. i hope you enjoy! 🥂
as a reminder: margarita on the rocks means it's spicy (minors dni)!
blurb below the cut
fallin' all in you
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sunrise with you on my chest
The early rays of dawn slowly crept through the curtains, casting the bedroom in an amber glow that made Frank’s sleeping form look ethereal. Everything was always quiet and still at this hour, and all you could hear besides your own breathing were his light snores. You loved mornings when you got to wake up next to Frank. It was rare that you woke up before him since he was usually an early riser, but you never hesitated to take full advantage of getting to marvel at the sight of his peaceful sleeping face nestled into your chest.
These were the moments you cherished the most with Frank. The quiet, intimate little moments where you could weave yourself around his large body, melt into the warmth of his skin, and cradle his head to your chest to shield him from the dangers of the world outside that waited for him. These little moments when he was just yours.
Yours to comfort. Yours to protect. Yours to love.
Carding your fingers through the messy, dark tresses at the top of his head, you began to press soft kisses over his face. Staring at the crown of his head, you dragged your lips down the bridge of his large nose to kiss the tip of it, across the ridge of his sharp cheekbone, until you finally reached his own lips. Frank began to stir lightly, his dark brows furrowing the slightest at the contact, as your touch slowly pulled him from the depths of slumber. Inhaling deeply, Frank grunted quietly as his eyes fluttered open, immediately locking on yours as a sleepy smile graced his lips.
“Mornin’ beautiful.”
Frank’s voice always seemed to nestle its way between your thighs, but when it was heavily laced with sleep and rough coming out of his chest for the first time that day, it never ceased to ignite a flame of need in the pit of your stomach. Gently sinking your teeth into your bottom lip, you let your hand slip slowly to grasp the back of his neck, keeping your voice barely above a whisper.
“Morning handsome.” 
Any remaining drowsiness in Frank’s eyes dissipated as soon as he heard the hint of desire braided within your voice. Frank had figured out very quickly in your relationship that you usually awoke with a craving for his touch in the mornings, not that he minded at all, and because he was always traveling and your schedules didn’t always line up, sleepy morning sex with you became his favorite. He got to take his time with you, making sure you felt every ounce of pleasure he had to offer, and every bit of the love he had for you. The world outside seemed to stop turning, and the Earth only belonged to the two of you on those special mornings.
Without a word, Frank lifted himself up to seamlessly slot his hips between yours, placing his hands on either side of your head to cage you beneath his broad frame as he gazed down at you in wonder. Your lips parted slightly feeling his half hardened cock against your thigh, and you stared back up at him in complete adoration. Frank leaned in to brush his nose against yours, pressing your foreheads together as his deep, chocolate brown eyes bore into yours. Holding his gaze, you lifted your hips up slightly so that he could feel how much you wanted him, your pussy fluttering at the way he closed his eyes for a moment and parted his lips to revel in the evidence of your yearning. 
“Frankie.”
His eyes flew open when you whispered his name sweetly, reaching for one of your hands to intertwine your fingers together, holding it captive above your head as he angled his hips to allow himself to slip inside you easily, both of you letting out a shaky breath in unison at the sensation of completion.
“I know, baby. I know.”
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mendesblurb · 2 years ago
Note
is it just me or anyone else have a midnight craving? Honestly when I was making myself an omelette I thought I make a fluff request to you. so what about a blurb where Shawn found the reader in the middle of the night looking for a midnight snack
xoxo,
J
Midnight Snack
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Shawn Mendes x female reader
Word Count: ~445
Warning ⚠️: fluff, maybe grammar error and maybe some punctuation errors.
Note: Phew 😮‍💨 it’s been a while since I last posted anything. I hope y’all love this little blurb ♥️
There was a gentle stir on the mattress as Shawn rolled onto your side more, his arm instinctively reaching for you, only for it to fall flat onto cold sheets where you were lying just moments ago.
His eyes slowly fluttered open, only to find the door to the bathroom dark with no light streaming from the inside; you weren’t there. And so he sleepily trudges around the house before eventually heading toward the kitchen.
There you were, as soft and lovely as ever while raiding for something to eat.
He leans against the kitchen door frame, observing how every cupboard is open and how you were looking like a bit of a culprit, rummaging through the fridge before closing it, not finding any tempting food items.
However, he didn’t pay attention to all that. His head is slightly tilted as he watches you, his eyes traveling down your body. He was distracted by you standing on your tiptoes; the fullest part of your butt peeks out from beneath the hem of one of his shirts.
Shawn had never seen anything so adorable yet completely and utterly sexy at the same time. He was so transfixed and continued to stare.
A smile spread across his lips as he stood there and stared at you for a second longer before slowly walking toward you. You didn’t notice his presence until he cleared his throat loudly and made his presence known.
“Need a hand?”
“Wha-what oh god, Shawn?!” You yell at him, “God, you scared me!”
“I’m so sorry, baby,” He chuckles, “I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“It’s okay. Actually, could you give me a hand here?”
Shawn nodded, walked closer to you, “Here, I’ll hold the chair.” He braces you as you climb up, straining to reach the bag of flour.
“Got it?”
“Got it- - -.” you replied enthusiastically before, “Whoaaaa!” You suddenly lose balance, falling backward.
“Careful!”
As you flip, he reacts quickly and catches you in his arms, “Whoa!” You gasped, “Nice catch.”
“Normally, this looking for midnight snacks scenarios aren’t supposed to end up with one of us requiring medical attention.”
Both of you laugh at that, looking into each other’s eyes, and letting the moment linger.
“You know, you don’t need to show off how long you can lift me.”
“Oh. Right.” He chuckles, before deciding to put you down on the counter, “So…” He cages you against the counter, hands gently caressing your thighs, lips curved up into a smile and his hot breath fanning against the shell of your ear,”Pancakes?”
“Yes, please,” you grin slightly before planting a quick kiss on his ridiculous smirk face, “But, please don’t burn them, baby.”
“That was one time!”
————————————————————————-
Thank you for reading guys... feel free to like, reblog, follow my account, leave a comment and my chat is always open for random chats or requests... appreciate every single one of you... ❤️
Taglist (open) : @monikamendes @holland-styles @bvttercupbby @lonelyreputation @badreputationlove @shawn-is-my-giant-jellybean @benito-mi-vida @swiftmendeshoran @yournameoneverypage @shawn-is-bruh @mendesbhraanth @perfectlywrongsm @imaginashawnn @smendes-forever @nervousmendes @whenyoureadyholland @shawn-youth @myboyshawnie @camilalewiss @camilalewisss @theregoesmyherojd @nanijaac1 @shawnieeboyy @silverswallow @inlovewithmendes-blog @mendeslola-blog @mendesx123 @23kofmendes @jellyloml @chipofmendes @poohmendes @wutheringmendes @shawnmendesbuddy  @chocochipcookie305 @socio-kai-path1972 @mendesficsxbombay @mendesmylover-blog
Story Code: 24042343
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lnfours · 2 years ago
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summer loving (five) ⎸ t.h
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⌙ summary: your mom and tom’s mom grew up together, swearing that their kids would be life long friends. and it was true, the holland boys were a special part of your life. but on the annual trip to their beach house this summer, everything feels different. and that’s because it is.
⌙ au: based on the book and tv show ‘the summer i turned pretty’ by jenny han. childhood friends to lovers
⌙ wc: 1.3k
⌙ warnings: some suggestive content, some slight fluff, not much really happens this chapter :( KAT IS FINALLY HERE!!! and tom is hurtin real bad.
⌙ pairing: tom holland x fem!reader with a lil bit of shawn mendes x fem!reader
masterlist ⎸ chapter four ⎸ chapter six ⎸ listen
                              ─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
you felt lips on your skin, burning hot as they traveled over every inch of your skin. it was dark in the room, but it was like he knew your body as he worked his way around. you grabbed onto a handful of curls, yanking softly as you let out a soft moan, which he gave a groan in response as his lips kissed the skin on your inner thighs.
“‘ve thought about this for so long,” he mumbled, kissing back up your body before nudging his nose against yours, “so fucking long.”
you smiled softly as he hooked a finger in your pajama shorts, letting him slip them down your legs before he threw them into the pile of discarded clothes on the bedroom floor that had started forming merely five minutes ago. you let out a whimper as his lips met yours, biting down on his bottom lip gently before his tongue slipped into your mouth. 
“tom,” you moaned, his lips moving to your neck as he nibbled at the skin gently, “we can’t.”
“why not?” he said in between kisses against your collarbone, slipping the straps of the tank top you were wearing down your shoulders.
“what if,” you started, cutting yourself off with a gasp as his fingers pinched gently at your nipple, “what if someone hears?”
he smirked, kissing you once more before speaking up, “guess, you better be quiet, love.”
your body jolted awake, causing you to groan as you sat up. you pressed the heel of your palms into your eyes, wanting to get rid of the thoughts of the dream you had about tom. you tapped your phone screen, sighing as you read the time.
3:23am.
you laid awake, staring at the ceiling as you tried to go back to sleep. you groaned to yourself, kicking the covers off before quietly making your way down the stairs. you walked into the kitchen, stopping in your tracks as you realized you weren’t the only one in the house who was awake at this time of night.
apparently, tom’s insomnia has kicked in, also.
he stood over the tea kettle, sending a tight lipped smile at you as you took a seat at the island, “can’t sleep?”
you nodded, ignoring the knot in the pit of your stomach as you took in the way his t-shirt hugged his biceps, “unfortunately.” 
“want some tea?”
“sure,” you said, “milk-”
“milk and two sugars,” he finished your sentence, smiling at you tiredly, “i know.”
you nodded, watching as he fixed you a cup of tea. he handed the mug to you, the warm liquid making your face turn hotter. you took a sip and nodded, silently thanking him.
“how’s shawn?” he asked.
you nodded, “good, i’m going dress shopping with him, his mom, and his sister today before kat comes in.”
he nodded back, “sounds like fun.”
you chuckled, “not really, we all know how much i hated it when i was a deb.”
“that’s because you were going through your ‘i hate dresses’ phase. you warmed up, though,” he smiled, taking a sip of tea before continuing his sentence, “still think the other one looked better on you.”
you ignored how his compliment sent butterflies through your stomach, “you know, you’re not the first person to tell me that. you probably won’t be the last, either.”
“good to know there’s still people in the world with a sense of fashion.” he joked. you snorted quietly, taking a sip of tea. the moon shone dimly through the kitchen windows, your eyes wandering out as you looked out towards the ocean. 
“are we okay?” he asked gently, scared to speak up as his voice was barely above a whisper. your eyes darted back to his, your eyebrow shooting up in confusion. 
“okay?”
“yeah, like,” he stuttered over his own words, “i’m sorry for the way i’ve been acting and treating you. can we just, put it all behind us and move on?” 
you bit down on your lip as he studied your facial features, looking for any signs of expression. you wanted things to go back how to it used to be, but you felt like everything he had put you through was enough to draw the line. 
but then again, it was tom. tom who has been here since day one. 
you sighed, grabbing your mug, “please don’t make me regret it, holland.”
he sent you a smile, “i won’t, i promise.”
you lifted the mug, sending him a fake cheers, “thanks for the tea.”
he nodded, watching you walk out of the kitchen, “anytime.”
you walked back upstairs, sitting down in the chair by the window. the sun was slowly starting to rise over the ocean. 
before you knew it, the sun was shining and you felt your phone buzzing on the bed, shawn’s contact popping up on your lockscreen. you cursed to yourself quietly, answering the phone. 
“hey,” you answered, immediately sitting up out of bed. you put the call on speaker as you made your way to your dresser. 
“hey,” his voice echoed through the phone, “you okay? just making sure you’re still meeting us at the shop.”
“yeah, i slept in late,” you said, slipping a tank top over your head as you fished shorts out of the next drawer, “i’ll be there in like ten minutes.” 
“it’s okay, take your time.” he reassured, “i’ll see you in a bit.”
“yep, see you in a bit.”
you said your goodbyes as you quickly tied on your shoes. you grabbed your purse and keys, running down the stairs. you ran out to the car, starting it before making your way quickly down the road. 
you pulled up to the shop, rushing as you got out and walked inside. you smiled when you saw shawn, his mom and his sister. aaliyah was first to hug you, then it was his mom, and then shawn as he pressed a soft kiss to your cheek. 
“sorry i’m late.” you apologized. 
“‘s okay, fashionably late.” he smiled and you smiled back. you watched as aaliyah picked through dresses. you spent the next couple hours giving your opinions and telling her which ones look the best on her. 
she decided on a dress, white, of course, and it was flowy. it genuinely made her look like a princess. you gave her and her mom a hug before shawn walked you to your car, giving you a soft smile. 
“thanks for coming,” he smiled, “she loves you.”
you blushed, “she’s the best. i think i prefer her, actually.”
he laughed, rolling his eyes playfully, “yeah, okay.”
you looked down at the time on your phone, sighing before you opened your car door, “i better get going, kat should be in soon.”
he nodded, “i’ll see you tomorrow for your party?” 
you nodded, “definitely.”
you smiled as he kissed your lips softly. you kissed back, but something felt off. it didn’t feel how it used to with him. you brushed it off, telling yourself that it was just because you were tired.
you said goodbye before getting into the car, a call coming from kat as you started the engine. you answered the phone, tapping the green answer button on the touch screen. 
“hello?”
“guess who’s here early.” her voice chimed through the speakers of your car, making you laugh. 
“i’m leaving the shops now, i’ll be there in like ten minutes.”
“sounds good,” she said, “and then you have tell me everything about shawn, sam and tom when i see you.”
you rolled your eyes, laughing softly, “i’ll think about it.”
after a short drive, you picked up kat. she hugged you tightly before throwing her bags into the backseat and joining you in the car. you made your way to the ice cream place the two of you always went to when she first comes into town, sitting down at one of the tables as you split a sundae. 
“so,” she said, taking a bite of ice cream, “what’s the update?”
you shrugged, “tom asked if we were okay, i said ‘sure’, and that’s it.”
“what about shawn?”
you shrugged again, “i don’t know. when i kissed him earlier, everything felt different.”
“maybe it’s because you’re still in love with tom,” kat said and you bit down on your bottom lip. 
maybe she was right.
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tagged:
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klausysworld · 2 years ago
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Can you do klaus x reader smut base of the song “lights on.” - Shawn mendes and which is reader first time.
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An Always and Forever
Damn, you look so good with your clothes on
And I'm not trying to come off too strong
But you know that I can't help it
'Cause girl you're beautiful, mhm
Klaus held your hand gently as you both walked back from your date. He had bought you a pretty summer dress to wear that went to your mid thigh, his spare hand was holding your waist as he kissed the top of you head and whispered how beautiful you are
And I can't deny I want your body
But I'm a gentleman so I'll be
The one who takes it slowly
'Cause girl you're so beautiful
He kisses down your face to your neck where his lips linger for a second and he inhales your scent before pulling away and softly kissing your lips. He guiding you both up the stairs to the hotel you were both staying at, you’d been in France for a few days, Paris to be exact and you had just been at the Eiffel Tower.
I wanna love you with the lights on
Keep you up all night long
Darling, I wanna see every inch of you
I get lost in the way you move
I wanna love you with the lights on
Hold you 'til the night's gone
Darling, I wanna see every inch of you
I get lost in the way you move
I wanna love you with the lights on
Hey, no
Now in your room he slowly brought you into his arms, one hand in yours and the other on your hip as he swayed you both to the music he had playing, be spun you in and out of his hold watching as you smiled and giggled as he peppered your face in kisses
I like the vibe in this hotel room
And I'd really like to get to know you
Start discovering your secrets
Underneath these very sheets, mhm
Your skin's so perfect up against me
Your lips are talking when we don't speak
And I never wanna leave this
'Cause there's so much left to see
He gently lifted your body and carried you to the bedroom, your back landed on the pile of blankets as you breathed a laugh and leaned up to press your lips to his. Slowly he began removing his suit jacket and kicked off his shoes. Your fingers fiddled with the buttons on his shirt, your breathing growing heavier as he slipped the straps of your dress down your shoulders, his hands softly caressing your skin
I wanna love you with the lights on
Keep you up all night long
Darling, I wanna see every inch of you
I get lost in the way you move
I wanna love you with the lights on
And hold you 'til the nights gone
Darling, I wanna see every inch of you
I get lost in the way you move
Laying bare underneath him while he traced his fingertips down your body, mesmerised by the way you would arch to meet his touch, the way your legs parted for him to rest inbetween while his lips melted to yours, the silent promise of love that would last forever lingered in the air
I wanna love you with the lights on
Keep you up all night long
Darling, I wanna see every inch of you
I get lost in the way you move
I wanna love you with the lights on
Hold you 'til the nights gone
Darling, I wanna see every inch of you
I get lost in the way you move
Carefully he thrust himself inside of you, his hips moving perfectly, building a rhythm that had you gasping his name and clinging to his frame while he whispered words of admiration and sucks the area behind your ear. Unlimited praises and encouragement hummed to you while that knot began to twist inside you and his movements growing faster
I wanna love you with the lights on
Keep you up all night long
Darling, I wanna see every inch of you
I get lost in the way you move
I wanna love you with the lights on
Hold you 'til the nights gone
Darling, I wanna see every inch of you
I get lost in the way you move
His hands traveled the length of your body many times, memorising even the slightest curve of your skin.
“i’m going to love you forever” he would tell you as his hips stutter and he releases inside you, the full feeling pushing you over the edge entirely, tension snapped, knot undone.
His mouth against yours again and hands in your hair
I wanna love you with the lights on
Love you with the lights on
Love you with the lights on
That night was one of many. A thousand lifetimes with the one you love, an always and forever.
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spideysbruh · 2 years ago
Text
Buzzfeed
my acc got deleted so this is old!
~
"Hi I'm Alex!"
"Aaand I'm Shawn Mendes!"
"And we're going to read thirsty tweets with Buzzfeed!!" Alex smiled at the camera as Shawn laughed and pulled a strip of paper out from the bucket in front of them. "Read it, read it!" Alex grinned, slapping his thigh. 
"It's a few gorgeous pictures of you and it says, 'im not gay but if i was this would be the woman to have turned me gay but i am not gay im just saying she is attractive and she is a woman but i am not gay so i would not have to worry about her turning me gay because i am indeed not gay but if i was she is the woman i am gay for'" He read in a monotone voice and laughed afterward. Alex snorted and took the paper from him to see if it was true. 
"Oh wow it's real." She giggled, "I dunno, I think they might be gay." 
"Yeah, I think so." Shawn grinned, "Okay! Your turn." He said and Alex reached into the bucket and pulled another one out. 
"Shawn Mendes can split me in half and I'd be thankful." She read, Shawn gasped and his face turned a light shade of red. "Same." Alex giggled.
"Babe!" Shawn exclaimed, nudging her shoulder. Alex laughed and scooted her chair closer to his. He smiled and cleared his throat, grabbing another paper. "Uh… a few precious photos of you and then, Alex is literally the hottest human ever !!! Three exclamation points," He laughed, "She can use me as her s- no!" He yelled and went to crumble it but Alex was quick to snatch it from him. 
"Lemme see." She mumbled, "She can use me as her seat any time." She laughed and shook her head. "I have a pretty good seat now, but thanks!" She smirked and Shawn was now blushing furiously as she just continued to pick up another paper like what she said won't get thousands of fans riled up. 
"Alex and Shawn Mendes are such a weird couple… they make no sense yet they're literally the best thing the world has given to us… Aw! That's so sweet actually. Thank you, the best things in life never make sense. Just look at Mr. Robot." She smiled, Shawn threw his head back and laughed, clapping afterwards.
"And Saturday Night Live!"
"Oreos!"
"Alex's films." Shawn teased, earning a playful glare from Alex. "'M joking baby." He smiled and leaned over to kiss her cheek. Shawn grabbed another paper and sighed, "Why is Shawn Mendes so fucking hot? I don't understand, whenever I look at him I immediately start thinking about 100 different ways he can take… me. What?!" 
Alex let out a loud laugh and covered her face. "Thank you @mendussysuites love that username!" She giggled, giving the camera a thumbs up. She took a paper and cleared her throat, "@alexuhh so we've seen how talented you are behind a camera… but what about in front of one? Shawn did you tweet this?" She joked, making the crew laugh.
Shawn smirked and shrugged, "Guess we'll never know. But they're right! Get in front of a camera baby!" 
"I'm in front of one now." She replied, motioning for him to get another paper. 
"So bossy… I love it." He smiled, Alex laughed and shook her head, "Shawn Mendes please run me over with your car I'm begging please it's all i want in life… guys, really? No!" He exclaimed, a worried look crossing his face. Alex giggled and just reached for another paper. 
"Haven't they said this before?" Alex giggled, making Shawn smile over at her. She's so cute.
"Yes! It's- It's worrying, baby." He replied, Alex laughed.
"Shawn, fulfill your fans wishes and hit them with your car! Please!" She said, Shawn laughed and his head went back again, making Alex giggle and tap his thigh before grabbing a paper.
"Is Shawn Mendes still dating Alex?? Because if not, hi I'm here and I volunteer to date either of them… also I'm lonely." Alex finished, Shawn nodded and put his hand up to his face in fake thought.
"Are we still together, baby? I'm- I dunno. I haven't seen us around lately…" He jokingly asked, Alex played along and hummed. 
"Yeah- I'm not too sure about that, bub… Maybe we did break up, I dunno." She shrugged, Shawn laughed and wrapped an arm around her, pulling her closer. He kissed her head and grabbed another paper.
"This is fun!" He exclaimed, making Alex jump from surprise, "Sorry, baby. Okay! Thinking about if Shawn Mendes and Alex have a kid how cute it would be. Omg, his hair and her everything else!" Shawn quirked an eyebrow and fidgeted in his seat. "Yeah, we'd make some cute kids." He smiled over at his girlfriend who nodded in agreement.
"Especially if they look like me." She smirked and jokingly pushed her hair over her shoulder. Shawn chuckled and placed a hand on her thigh, Alex giggled and reached for another paper.
"There's like… three more left! I wanna read more." She pouted, Shawn smiled and watched as she unfolded the paper, "When will Shawn Mendes tie m- … oh no!" She let out the loudest laugh and Shawn snorted at that.
"What does it say?" He questioned, inching his head closer to read the paper. Alex, still laughing, showed him the paper. His eyes scanned over the words and his face turned red as he shook his head. "That one is the worst! You guys need to… seek help." He said, looking up at the camera. Alex wiped her eyes and grabbed another paper.
"Okay this one says '@shawnmendes is particular taste about Alex ??!!!! pls answer everything depends on this.' .. Well, is it about me, babe?" She smirked over at her blushing boyfriend, she knew the answer already though.
"These aren't even thirst tweets anymore!" He replied, running his fingers through his hair. Alex giggled and bit her lip, making Shawn want to kiss her right there, "Should I answer?" 
Alex shrugged, "I think that alone answers it." She raised an eyebrow, Shawn sighed and let out a laugh.
He shrugs, "Fuck it. Yeah, it is! She always wants something so … particular, if you will, to eat, and it just really gets too much sometimes so I wrote a song about it." He joked, Alex giggled and rested her head on his shoulder. "Next one!" He smiled and grabbed a paper.
"Uh, will Shawn Mendes ever propose to Alex ?!! If he doesn't, I will… is- is that a threat?!” He exclaimed, making Alex giggle. “Eventually… I- I will.” He smiled down at Alex and felt his face redden as she smiled.
“Yeah?” She mumbled, and Shawn nodded, placing his hand on her leg. 
“You act like we don’t talk about this all the time.” He laughed, Alex snorted and shook her head.
“Still! It’s different when we talk about it in front of people, baby." She replied, Shawn nodded and let her take the last one out.
"@alexuhh you are so sexy please break up with Shawn and get with me cause I KNOW I CAN TREAT YOU BETTER THAN HE CAN." She sang the last part and laughed along with Shawn. "No thanks, but nice use of my boyfriend's song." She giggled, Shawn snorted and kissed her forehead. 
"Okay, well that was fun! Thank you for watching us read thirst tweets!" Shawn smiled and waved at the camera, Alex sat up straight and waved as well.
"Byeeeee!" 
*
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blueberrypancakesworld · 1 year ago
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Day.11 Needle - Sawtober/Sawcember
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warning : needle, hurt/comfort, angst, kissing, trauma
Sawtober/Sawcember masterlist
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The pain was the worst when she was on the bed on needles. When she felt the sharp little thin metal needles forcibly digging into her skin.
It wasn't like when she gave herself the needle for drugs when she let herself fall relaxed on the bed and the metal music disappeared around her and she finally had her peace from everything for a damn little moment.
It wasn't so painful when she ran the razor blade over her thighs either, she knew the pain by now and was able to tolerate it well.
It was something she almost welcomed. But this. This pain, these needles, seemed to have brought up again what had already been processed.
It seemed and was like an unwanted visit to the doctor that she had been thrown into as the hands of the starchy man closed around her body and he threw her into the needle bed trap.
It was horror as she straightened up, her eyes filled with tension and trembling, she felt the sparks in her hands leave her back and side.
She couldn't hear the voices of her fellow guinea pigs. She could barely hear them and when she did, she only heard their voices.
,,Amanda, I'm here, you can do it!" she heard the black-haired woman call and didn't have to look up next to her to know that Lynn was holding out her hand. Trying to touch her and give her a sign of being there and being close.
She always did and yet she seemed an eternity away. The touch of her Lynn seemed almost too long to remember but she knew it was a remnant of her former dependency.
But she knew that even if she wasn't really in the game that if Lynn and she weren't really tested the fact that Xavier was using his strength and forcing others to make traps for him.
But she knew if they were going to make it through this, she had to dig, cover the pain and keep going. She screamed, cried and cursed as tears streamed down her face, blurring her vision and making her feel more and more pain.
It was her cave, her own personal torture. But the further she dug, the harder the pain became, the more her hatred for the others grew and the more she wanted to get to Lynn and out of here with her.
She wanted no more and her pain turned to anger as she dug further through the pit until she saw the different colored syringe.
Clutching it tightly, almost thinking the glass would break and the needle would bend, she felt her strength give way for a moment.
She wanted to fall onto something soft but she knew it would only be pain. ,,Here, I've got you, come here!" she heard Lynn call, who, unlike the others, was still holding out her hand to her.
She held out her own hand trembling for her friend, finally feeling her warmth before Lynn helped her out of the pit.
The hard ground only dug the spikes deeper into her skin and she forgot to breathe, unable to get the air into her lungs. ,,Breathe, Amanda, breathe," Lynn said, her voice calmer, not shouting at her, and gently lowered her hands to her uninjured skin.
But the pain of the dream, the fear that had torn into Amanda's body, prevented her from seeing clearly as she lay on the floor, still cramped and too afraid to move. ,,It's going to be okay, I'll help you," Lynn said and laid
Amanda's head as gently as she could on her scarf, trying to give her some comfort, but she knew her friend couldn't hear her. Knew she saw nothing of the helpless child Amanda the old Amanda who was trapped and disappointing her mentor.
,,Breathe...I'm here," she said as calmly as she could, trying to ignore the shouts and angry noises of the others as she looked at the teenager crouched next to her, who seemed just as helpless as Amanda. I won't leave you alone, the doctor thought, remembering how they had met.
How she had healed Amanda on her own after she had escaped from the bear trap and fled to the hospital. Lynn was the only one who got close to Amanda and she helped her friend play with Jigsaw.
Because through Amanda she had learned to love life again, to care for her and give her love was something she had needed after the death of her husband and two children.
,,Can-can I-" she heard Daniel beside her, the younger boy clearly disturbed and shock in his eyes. She knew that if he survived this, no therapist in the world would be able to fix him.
He would need his father, his mother and maybe the help of Jigsaw. She took one of her hands from Amanda and placed it on Daniel's trembling hand.
She gave him a steady look before she said, ,,Help me pull out the needles," and she saw him seem even more frightened for a moment and after another moment he helped Lynn.
,,Sweetie? I'll pull the needles out and it'll be better...I promise," she said and leaned slightly towards Amanda giving her a kiss on the cheek and saw that she was still trapped in her own head at least starting to breathe shakily and her hand grabbed one of Lynn's.
It was almost painful and yet at that moment she would have given anything to take the pain away. Before she started to pull out the needles with Daniel, telling him to do it quickly and not slowly.
She knew he was struggling at first and with each pull Amanda winced and so did Daniel. ,,Shhhh it's all good," she mumbled from time to time and stroked Amanda's head. After a few moments, she pulled the last syringe out of her skin before pulling the younger girl lightly into her lap.
She placed Amanda's head on top of her lap and put her arm lightly around Daniel, who gave her a grateful look.
And for a moment, as she shut out her surroundings by closing her eyes, it seemed as if none of it was there. As if she was with Amanda and Daniel was perhaps their son.
When Daniel closed his eyes, he saw his father and wished he was in his father's arms. Only Amanda, who regained consciousness, saw the needles in front of her, felt Lynn's touch and felt Daniel's compassion and care.
And for a moment it seemed like a bad joke to have such a reaction just because of needles. But it was needles that had made her who she was today.
It was the first needle with the drugs that had led her to Jigsaw, it was the needle from Lynn that had calmed her down and it was the bed of needles that led her back into the arms of Lynn and the teenager they were supposed to protect.
They had always been needles and always would be. But back then she had to pull them out herself, now it was with the help of her friend.
It was a needle that brought her love and her life. Like a syringe, it injected her with life and pain at the same time...and she was grateful for that.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
@a-reading-dreamer , @megustadilf , @klarise , @misslavenderlady , @mysunfishpeedinmyroom
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felicitysmoaksx · 2 years ago
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So do you remember that poll I posted a while back asking the question before or after with no context? Well here's the fic!
Hahahaha. Hi all! You are all probably wondering what this is. And if any of you follow me on Tumblr, you're probably wondering why this isn't the baby fic I promised you. Well, I have it 70% done and then this idea grabbed hold and wouldn't leave me alone.
So we have an alt version of the au Voight Family Values. Where Connor defines the relationship with Sarah before the events of HOISWY. This is in no way canon to that universe but I could see it happening both before and after that fic. So again this is not canon to this universe. Just a What If scenario but nevertheless I hope you enjoy it!
If you want to set the mood for this fic, I recommend Mercy by Shawn Mendes, Takes a Breakup by Chris Ruediger, and Dead in the Water by Ellie Goulding
Happy Reading!
Rating: Explicit (Minors DNI 18+)
Summary:   A crisis situation at the hospital spurs Connor into defining his relationship with Sarah sooner than later. 
Word Count: 12.4k
Warnings: Sexual Content, Depictions of parental abandonment, depictions of violence, inaccurate medical procedures
Read On AO3 | Fic Playlist | Want to be tagged when I post a Rheese story?
Yeah, I Just Wanna Take You Home
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The day had started out so normal. She woke up to the sound of Connor’s alarm going off. With a groan, she reached over his torso to shut it off. Rookie’s mistake though because that’s when he pounced. He surged up and wrapped his arms around her, pressing a kiss to both her cheeks. She giggled as they turned in the bed. Now he was on top of her, kissing inch of her skin he could reach. 
“You have way too much energy in the mornings without any coffee,” Sarah laughed drowsily while she squirmed at the feel of his beard on her skin. She’d have some beard burn later, but the feel of it, of him, made it so worth it. 
“You love it,” the smug bastard, he was smirked at her. Then he leaned in and captured her lips. In truth, she did love it because going a round or two with him in the morning was almost like drinking a few cups of coffee and was truthfully the best way to wake up. 
“We don’t have time,” she sang when he pulled away from her and his lips started trailing far more south on her body, after checking the time on her phone. 
“You’ll be done quickly,” her lover promised her, biting softly, just at the seam of her boyshorts. 
“That is not something a girl wants to hear from the guy she’s sleeping with.” Sarah laughed before it became a drawn-out moan with his love bite. Connor chuckled darkly as his hands cupped under her thighs. 
“Well, like you’ve said, we don’t have time. Or else,” he kissed her inner thigh while he spread them apart to get to his final destination, nipping at an old love bite. Hooking two fingers into her underwear, he tugged them off. Sarah made a breathless whiny sound, arching up. The back of her head would look like a bird's nest, but she just needed a little bit more friction. Another dark chuckle and her hips were pinned to the mattress. “We both know I could draw this out…” 
He trailed off as his head dipped and then the only sound that could be heard was Sarah’s moaning. All of it was entirely Connor’s doing…She inhaled tightly before she saw the stars of her euphoric pleasure. 
When she came down from visiting those stars, the curly-haired brunette saw her lover looking entirely too pleased with himself. Well, that would never do, would it? She thought as she shimmed closer to him and grabbed his length. 
“We-w-we…oh fu-ck me…w-we don’t have time.” He tried to remind her, but it was undercut by his own moan of pleasure. 
“I think you’ll be done quickly too,” she parroted his words back to him in a silky whisper before she kissed him chastity. Then she headed south too. Her mouth enveloped him as she treated him like he was her own personal lollipop. 
“Ohhh,” he moaned, his hand cupping the back of her head. He fisted her curls the deeper she went. “I’m going to fuck you so hard when we get home tonight. You won’t be able to move without feeling like jelly.”
Sarah moaned at the promise. 
See, a normal morning. If only the two doctors would’ve known what was waiting for them at the hospital. If only they knew it wasn’t going to be a normal day. If only they knew that ghosts among other people lingered in the hospital. In that ED.  Then they would’ve never left the safety of his apartment. If only…
[LINE BREAK]  [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK]
The first shot went off and people started running. A second sharp crack echoed louder in her ears as glass shattered. She saw Earl go down before she was shoved to the ground from the sheer force of the sea of shoulders crowding the exits in an effort to get out fast. 
“Sarah,” she heard someone say, but her name sounded far off. The crowd continued to rush through the doors. A few people even stepped on her as she tried to get herself up. But every time she pushed herself up, another wave of people knocked her down. Then hands reached down to grab her shoulders then she was hauled upright and dragged into a treatment room. The curtain was pulled shut. But then her savior stumbled against the wall of the treatment bay. Catching their arm, Sarah caught them before they fell. But then she saw their face, and she really wished she hadn’t caught him. Her blood ran cold. Because Charlie Pugliese was staring back at her. 
“Easy,” he mumbled quietly when she flinched back from him. Ripping her arm out from under his. “I’m not going to hurt you…I couldn’t right now even if I wanted to.” 
He looked different since the last time she saw him. Older, warier but she guessed the sixteen years difference between now and when she last saw him would do that. He also looked weaker, but that could’ve been because he was holding onto an IV pole for dear life. “But you were getting trampled out there.” 
“What the hell are you doing here? You’re not even supposed to be in Illinois.” Forgetting the kind of situation they were in, Sarah narrowed her eyes at the man. 
The man who kept food on the table and the water, heat, and electricity running when her dad and Bunny both stopped showing up. The man who took her worn-out teddy bear to a doll hospital to get it sewn back together after he tore its arm off when he pulled it out from where it was stuck in the couch cushions. The man who rushed her to the hospital when her appendix burst at the age of ten. 
But also the same man who in the same breath got Erin hooked on dope and Annie pregnant when she was underage and he was an adult. Who also taught Sarah how to pickpocket when she turned eleven and spurred her pseudo-sister to call Hank back and finally make a deal with him. 
“Aunt Sarah!” Travis’ voice called out and the reason she was in ED this morning, to begin with. Annie had brought Travis in because he had been helping his mom make lunch for the day and had sliced his hand open cutting up a tomato when Annie’s back had been turned and needed stitches. And Erin’s childhood friend was already wary of hospitals thanks to her teenage years, so she asked Sarah to do it. She had only stepped outside to call her work and let them know she’d be late when everything happened.
“Tell me that isn’t who I think it is. Tell me that’s not Travis. Tell me that’s not my son, Sarah.” Charlie knew about Travis. But just like, Charlie is in Chicago. The information got stowed away in her brain for her to pick apart and analyze later.
“Get back into bed and stay there,” Sarah told Charlie, in a braver voice than she actually felt as the shooter, a seventeen-year-old kid, of all people, told everyone to stop running and ordered Maggie to lock the doors, She pulled the curtain back just enough to see what was happening and surveyed the scene. 
She briefly saw April before the nurse ducked back into the treatment room she was in. Maggie and Will were locking and covering the doorways. Earl was slumped against a wall with blood seeping through his shirt. Ethan was looking at it and Natalie was applying pressure to another man sprawled out on the ground. From where she stood, the brunette knew this man was hurt but was too far away to see how badly.  And then there was Connor. He was standing on the opposite side of the ED and doing exactly what she was doing right now.
‘Stay there,’ he mouthed to her, shaking his head when she caught his eyes. But then ignored his own advice as he slipped out of the room pulling on a pair of gloves. Her heart stuttered as the shooter turned on Connor.
“Hey, this man needs help.” Connor was speaking like he was soothing a freighted animal. Hands raised.
“Aunt Sarah!” Travis called out again while the kid holding the gun explained that it wasn’t his fault. 
“But you don’t want him to die, do you?” The kid shook his head and allowed Connor to help him. Sarah started to creep very quietly out of the room. 
“Stop moving!” She stopped and lifted her eyes slowly; she saw the kid was now pointing the deadly weapon at her. Holding her hands up, Sarah swallowed. 
“I just want to get the kid in that treatment room.” She tried to mirror Connor’s tone as she indicated the treatment at the end of the hallway. The one with a now shattered window. Nausea filled Sarah’s stomach. If Travis had been hit with a stray bullet…
Don’t think like that Sarah, she chastised herself as she shook her head slightly. With a slight tremor in her voice, she continued, “He’s scared. He could be hurt. Just let me go calm him down.”
“No, everyone stays where they are!” Sarah had been a cop’s daughter for sixteen years. Had heard enough stories from Hank and his partners over the years to know this story wasn’t going to have a happy ending. The brunette swallowed. The gun was still pointed at her. But she still had to get to Annie’s son. 
“O-okay. Then what if he comes to me? You can keep that pointed at me the whole time.” 
It was a split second. But the kid nodded. She nodded back. The tremor was still in her voice when she spoke, “O-kay. Okay. I’m going to call him now.”
His hand flexed against the weapon’s handle in response. Sarah exhaled shakily, clenching her trembling hands into fists. “Travis? Buddy?” 
A mop of blond hair became visible. Then a pair of panicked hazel eyes peered out from behind the curtain. “Buddy, run to me.” 
“But he has-”
“I know what he has. But he isn’t going to be pointing it at you. He’s going to keep it trained on me the entire time. Just run to me. He isn’t going to hurt you.”
“I don’t want him to hurt you either,” Travis told her worriedly. He sounded as if he was about to cry and Sarah thought she felt her heart start to crack in two.
“He won’t,” she tried to promise him, but the words felt hollow. Empty because even she didn’t know what was going to happen.
“Hey, Hey. Kid,” Connor interrupted, taking the attention off of Sarah. She was so preoccupied with thoughts of trying to get to Annie’s son that she didn’t realize he had been doing it on purpose.  “I need to get him into a trauma room. Do you understand me?”
“Okay…okay. Yeah,” 
“Maggie, I need a backboard!” Connor called to the charge nurse over his shoulder, who responded. Travis took the opportunity and started running. 
“David,” Choi called and the shooter turned fully to look at him. Sarah was still distracted or she would’ve realized that her friend had spoken up when the kid had been turning back around, “David, they’re going to need help lifting him.”
She didn’t hear David respond because Travis had collided with her and the brunette, with her arms wrapped around him, backed the kid into the treatment room with Charlie. 
“Are you okay? Are you hurt?” She scanned his body for any new injuries beyond the hand Annie had brought him in for before she hurriedly pulled the curtain back in place. She dropped to her knees, cupping his face. Her pseudo-nephew shook his head and let her wipe away the tears from his face.
“No,” No, he wasn’t hurt or no he wasn’t okay? Sarah couldn’t tell which question he was answering first. Probably both.
“Listen!” David called out. But the rest of his words might as well have been white noise. Because Sarah was in survive and protect mode.
“Travis, I need you to get on the bed and stay there with Charlie. Do not move, do you understand me?” Annie’s son nodded at her authoritative tone. (Honestly, if the circumstances were different, she would cringe at how much she sounded like Hank right now.) And as he was scrambling to climb onto the bed, Sarah met his father’s eyes. 
“Charlie, if it comes down to a choice and I’m not here-”
“It’ll be him, Sarah.” He reassured her before she could even finish her thought, “But you’re going to be here.” 
Opening her mouth, the brunette was going to respond. But David’s voice was no longer background noise buzzing in her head as she heard him yell at someone to get back to where they were. 
“Sarah,” Charlie warned in a low tone when she started to turn around. If she had been a kid, that tone would’ve made her stop and think. But she wasn’t the same kid he knew anymore.  She pulled the curtain back just slightly to see the scene in front of her. He was talking to Ethan. With the gun now pointed straight at him.  
“Sarah,” he snapped again as she took a step forward, pulling the curtain back in its place. 
“David,” she addressed the kid first then when he whirled to face her; she addressed Dr. Choi as well, “Dr. Choi. What if I came and helped? Th-that way Dr. Choi can go back to where he was but they still have an extra set of hands?”
“Reese, no,” Ethan said, at the same time Connor glanced up. Blue eyes darkened with alarm as he met hers. He was vehemently shaking his head. He couldn’t speak, because his attention was half pulled by trying to insert a chest tube, but he seemed to be silently warning her to stay back.  
But Sarah wasn’t looking at either of them, Instead, her gaze was focused only on David and the gun in his hand. And it was still pointed at her friend. There was a moment of hesitation before the kid dipped his head as he mumbled almost as if he was talking to himself, “Okay. Okay. Yeah,”
Sarah hurried over, keeping her hands above her head. Dr. Choi moved as she approached and she took his spot by Connor’s side while he went back to where he was helping Earl.
“Start a line. With the way this guy is going, I have a feeling we’re going to need it before it’s over with,” Connor directed her in a clipped tone, continuing to try and insert a chest tube. He wasn’t happy with her. But that really wasn’t the brunette’s concern right now. Nodding silently, she pulled on a pair of gloves. Connor stepped around her, and to anyone else, it may have seemed like he was giving her more room to work. But unlike earlier, Sarah was paying attention now. With his warm citrus scent wrapped around her, she didn’t believe it was a coincidence that she was now on the inside of Connor. He had intentionally placed himself in between her and David. 
“Are you sure it was a good idea to leave that kid with the patient in 3? He’s in from Cook County.” Maggie asked after David left to go check on his girlfriend. Cook County…Looks like things finally got up to Charlie. As quick as the thought came, Sarah shook it off. Once again, placing that information in a box in her mind to be opened later. When she afford to analyze and freak out about it later. 
She shook her head at Maggie. She may not have seen the man in the last sixteen years, but that didn’t stop her from saying,  “Charlie is a lot of things. But he won’t hurt Travis.”
Especially not Travis.
Her friend raised an eyebrow at her words, “You make it sound like you know him.”
“I do,” she admitted quietly. It was as close as she got to telling anyone outside of her family about her childhood, “It’s been a while, but trust me, Maggie. I know exactly who Charlie is. And right now, Charlie Pugliese is the lesser of two evils.” 
“Damn it,” Connor said before a river of blood seemed to pour out of their patient. His chest tube was backed up. Sarah moved to help him to try and staunch the bleeding. 
“Breathe,” the brunette heard Maggie soothe when their patient groaned lowly. Quietly, so as not to alarm anyone, Sarah pointed out the obvious to the man who shared his bed with her regularly. 
“He lost a lot of blood. He needs more or he’s going to die,” 
“He needs a trauma team and surgery or he’s going to die,” Connor responded back. His voice was just as quiet and his tone was still clipped. But he wasn’t going to get an apology right now or even after, if they made it through this. The kid had a weapon pointed at her friend. Did he expect her not to react? 
“How’s he doing?” David asked. 
“Not good, David. He’s bleeding from inside his chest.” Connor answered him, turning back to the task at hand. 
The kid scoffed, waving the gun as he spoke. “Well, it was his fault. He grabbed the gun.” 
“I don’t care, alright?” Her lover snapped when the tube was finally in. Blood dripped out of it. Connor was still speaking as he started securing it with medical tape and gauze, “He needs to go upstairs for surgery.”
“No, he stays here.” David was shaking his head now. 
“He might not make it if you don’t let him go upstairs.” Connor tried to counter. But that seemed to make the kid angrier, “You’re a doctor! Do something!” 
“I need blood, plasma, and platelets. Now! Otherwise, he dies.” Connor said. 
“Okay, what do I-what do I do?” The kid seemed to stumble over his words. 
“Pick up any one of those phones and dial 911 and tell them who you are. They’ll find someone for you to ask.” Maggie told him firmly. 
“That’ll take too long,” Sarah interjected, shaking her head as she stripped off her bloody gloves. She had forgotten she had her phone on her. But now it seemed to burn in her back pocket. Then while she reached for it, she said a little louder. Addressing David. She held out the device to him, with Hank’s number already pulled up.
 “My father is a police sergeant at the 21st district. He runs the intelligence unit. Call him. Tell him you have his youngest daughter and oldest grandson, along with several other people at gunpoint. He’ll get you what you need.”
“Okay,” The weapon went slack in David’s grip as he nodded. He moved forward and Connor pressed his back flush against her front, keeping her shielded as the kid took the phone from her. (Neither one noticed how Maggie’s eyes narrowed just slightly as she witnessed the interaction. It wasn’t the time to think about her friends’ love lives but maybe April had actually seen them together even if the other nurse had been unsure at the time.) 
When he had his back turned, once more. Phone pressed to his ear, Maggie soothed the patient once more. Then she met Sarah’s eyes. 
“Voight is your dad? That’s why Windam didn’t want you taking my spot for refusing that blood draw.” She said slowly and the curly-haired brunette watched the realization dawn in her eyes.  “That’s why there was no record of you ever being charged. Because you weren’t. Were you?” 
Sarah slowly shook her head. According to all of her pseudo-siblings, she was the golden child. The baby. The one Hank and Camille never had to worry about once they got her on the right path. So when Officer Windam threatened to charge Maggie with obstruction, Sarah stepped in because she knew, or rather hoped, Hank wouldn’t let her be arrested. 
She was right.  Sarah hadn’t been charged. Instead, she was put in a holding cell by herself and made to wait until it was time to be taken for arraignment. Then she was escorted upstairs by Platt where she was lectured very thoroughly by Hank.
 The man below them groaned and Maggie was no longer her friend but instead, a nurse once more as she soothed, “Breathe. I know, it hurts but you need to breathe. We have help coming.” 
[LINE BREAK]  [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK]
Instead of pacing in front of the locked ED, where a scared kid with a gun had eight people of her medical staff (not to mention how many patients) held, Sharon Goodwin was trying to make herself useful and oversee the patients that they had gotten out and help coordinate their transport.
But Dr. Lanik seemed to have that covered as he told the paramedics on how to brief the other doctors at the other hospitals with each patient that was loaded. 
“Is that the last of our emergency patients?”
“The last of the ones that we could get out anyway,” her chief of the ED told her just as some called her name. Turning her head, she saw Hank Voight being stopped by the other officers at the scene. He flashed his badge to the men before they let him through. The whole of the Intelligence unit was also behind him. All except for Detective Lindsay. She broke off and made a beeline for the mothers of the two kids being held. 
“Erin, I just stepped out to call my boss to let them know I was going to be late! I didn’t think-” Sharon heard one mother start. 
“Annie, I know. No one ever thinks this will happen.” She consoled the blonde woman gently. Then she addressed both women together. “I promise you, we will do everything in our power to bring your kids back to each of you.”
“Sharon, the shooter called. With a list of supplies he needs but-” Hank started
“Dispatch said nothing about a call coming over,” the incident commander interrupted her friend,  as he lumbered over. Then seeing the other man’s star, he introduced himself. “Officer Seth Mottola. SWAT.”
“Sergeant Hank Voight. Intelligence. And the call didn’t come over dispatch. My daughter is one of the doctors being held. The call came from her phone.” 
“What kind of supplies, Hank?” Sharon stepped in before a fight could brew between the two men. 
“Blood, plasma, and platelets.” 
“Okay. I’ll get someone to gather the supplies and-”
“Sharon, there was one more request. He has requested that you be the one to bring it.” 
“What?” Even the head of the hospital could hear the shock in her voice.
“Said you tried to help him? Seemed he doesn’t trust anyone else. Can you explain why that is?” Hank asked. Sharon could never tell if he was just asking or if it was something more with the police sergeant. Still, Sharon thought for a moment. Who had she tried to help today?
“Hank, I tried to help a young man today. David. His girlfriend was in the ED. She was pregnant and he was pretty sure he was the father and that the father of the girlfriend was making her say otherwise. I offered to give him a few lawyer names. But he’s under the age of eighteen, do you seriously think it’s him?”
“Sharon, in my line of work…it wouldn’t surprise me.”
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It was so quiet in the ED that Sarah heard when Ms. Goodwin arrived before she even turned the corner to the trauma bay. 
“Sharon?” Maggie questioned
“Alright, hang one-to-one on the rapid transfuser and keep going. Do not let his blood pressure drop.” Connor directed, pulling his stethoscope back around his neck.
“Got it,” Sarah and Maggie said in unison as the brunette moved to help the nurse. Not that she needed the help, but the longer this went on, the longer Travis was in this ED, the more anxious energy went through Sarah’s body. She needed to do something.
Their boss shifted her gaze to meet all three of their eyes. “Do we know how the other patients are doing?” 
“My father’s in 2. He’s got something going on with his heart. Earl got hit by a bullet. Ethan said he was going to be okay. And I heard Natalie say Lily is ready to deliver at any moment.” Connor started. 
“April’s got a sick kid in 7.” The charge nurse supplied. 
“And I’ve got my nephew in 3. His hand was split open but I’ve since stitched it up, He’s fine now. Just shaken up.” Sarah told their boss.
“He also is in 3 with that prisoner from cook county. The one that got stabbed and needs an organ repair to take care of the laceration on his kidney.” 
Charlie had a laceration on his kidney? Charlie was stabbed? Then Sarah remembered his words from earlier. “I’m not going to hurt you. I couldn’t right now, even if I wanted to.”
“He won’t hurt Travis though. Believe me, Ms. Goodwin.” The older woman considered Sarah’s words before nodding her head. She waved at hand at the patient in front of her. 
“What about him? How is he doing?” She asked. 
“Thanks to the blood, his heart rate will go down. But he’s still hemorrhaging in his chest. If we don’t get him upstairs soon, we are going to lose him.” Her lover said, taking the lead as the trauma specialist. 
“Okay,” Goodwin sighed heavily, rubbing at the formed crease on her forehead. Then she turned and walked off in the direction of David. He was standing by the nurses' station but it was like his head was on a swivel. She didn’t know what Ms. Goodwin said to the kid, but she returned a moment later with him trailing behind her. 
“Dr. Rhodes get your patient ready to move out of the ED.” She told Connor so that’s what they did. Gurney railings were raised and Maggie went with Goodwin to wheel him out of the ED. 
Connor grabbed her wrist when she turned to go back to Travis and Charlie. Looking up, she saw he wanted to say something. But before he could get any sort of words out, they heard panicked shouting. 
Sarah stiffened when she turned her head and saw that SWAT had forced their way into the ED. Shields in front of them with their guns pointed at David and by proxy Maggie and Goodwin. Connor’s grip tightened on her wrist as he pushed her behind him. Then he was shoving her into the nearest treatment room. (Which was his father’s room) Her lover pulled her to him when the privacy curtain was pulled into place and for once, Sarah clung to him. With her head buried in his shoulder and her arms belted around his waist, she hoped she wouldn’t hear a gunshot. Though her whole body was tense as if she were bracing herself for one. His lips were pressed to her forehead.
“LOWER YOUR WEAPONS!” Ms. Goodwin ordered them in a shout, “STEP BACK! WE HAVE A PATIENT WE NEED TO MOVE THROUGH!”
There was more shouting. Then the clang of the door falling closed. Sarah heard the lock of it as it was turned. Then there was uneasy silence once more.
When Maggie appeared, the brunette released a breath she had been holding. (She didn’t notice Maggie’s brown eyes narrowing once more at the sight before her. Now definitely wasn’t the time to focus on her friends’ love lives. But she was seeing what she thought she was seeing right?) Pulling herself out of Connor’s arms (She also didn’t notice Connor’s reluctance to let her go) Sarah started to check over her friend before she was waved off. 
“I’m fine. No scratches. Just shook up,” she told her. Sarah nodded her head and squeezed her friend’s shoulder, “I think everyone is,”
“So, what is your plan here?” Sarah stiffened at the sound of Charlie asking the question. Peeking out of the doorway, she saw Charlie leaning heavily against both the doorway and his IV pole. Now Sarah saw what she didn’t before; that he was handcuffed to that pole. 
“What do you care?” David scoffed. Charlie shrugged, feigning indifference. “Curiosity? I like to root for an underdog, you know?” 
“Underdog? I’m no underdog.” 
“Kid, I’ve got news for you. Yes, you are. Not only do you have thirteen people trapped, but you also have a police sergeant’s daughter. And trust me, I speak from experience with this particular sergeant.  If anything happens to her and you are…” Charlie trailed off letting the weight of the unspoken words speak for themselves. 
“How is he standing? He has a laceration on his kidney.” Maggie asked quietly, coming up to stand by her shoulder. The brunette shrugged. “Adrenaline?  He also picked me up when the crowd started running for the exits and I fell. Kept me from being trampled.” 
“How do you know this guy, Sarah? You never said.” 
Sarah was saved from answering by April coming out of a treatment room saying she needed help.  Her patient wasn’t responding to medication and his fever was up.
“David, I need to go check on him. Please, uncuff me.” Dr. Choi pleaded. But the kid shook his head. 
“No, she can deal with him herself,” he said, turning his back on them. Ms. Goodwin tried to plead with him, but it was Charlie’s unbothered drawl that had him turning back around. 
“Not smart, kid. You heard the woman in charge. Anyone in here dies, it’ll be on you. You really need to think about what you’re doing. And look at it from this angle. You’re about to be a father, wouldn’t you want your kid to get help if they were in this kind of situation?”
“Not him,” David finally said, after he took a second to think, pointing to Dr. Choi, “I can’t trust him.” 
“Okay. That’s fair,” Charlie agreed easily. Then his eyes flicked to hers with a question in them and she nodded in a way that wouldn’t draw too much attention. 
“Then can Sarah go and help him?” David turned to look at her. He must’ve perceived her as not a threat because he nodded a moment later. Sarah started forward. 
“But if she tries anything-”
“I won’t.” She stopped abruptly to reassure him at the same time Charlie said, “She won’t.”
“Okay,” 
Exhaling a sigh of relief, the brunette continued on her way. Only pausing briefly beside Ethan to say, “You might need to walk me through some things. It’s been a minute since I flexed my ED muscles.”
“Copy you,” 
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It took a little while and inserting a chest tube and inserting a needle to decompress his lung. But the kid was finally stable. 
“Good job,” Dr. Choi and April chorused together as she stripped off her gloves, shaking her head. It was important now, but she had gotten sloppy in her two years of psychiatry. Sloppiness was dangerous, especially in medicine.
 In the time that she worked on her patient, Charlie had transformed into his charming self. The one she remembered. The one her brain seemed to hold onto, even now, and made her feel so at odds with herself. Because even though nothing had happened to her, she knew everything he had done to Erin and Annie. He rambled to the kid and it seemed to put the kid somewhat at ease. Charlie was halfway to charming the gun out of David’s grasp and into Goodwin’s. Like a snake charmer. All while keeping Travis firmly behind him.
Then Charlie collapsed. 
She heard the crash, his IV pole falling before she heard a dull thud of his body hitting the floor. Sarah was already making her way out of the treatment room when Travis’ panicked cry of, “Aunt Sarah!” hit her ears.
Tension was building back up in David’s shoulders when she passed him. In hindsight, Sarah probably should’ve thought twice about racing past him. But at that moment, the brunette found herself worrying very little about herself. 
“Travis, move to the left side of the room.” She ordered her nephew as she tried to pick Charlie up but with him unconscious, he was deadweight so she was struggling. 
“David, she needs help. With moving him. Can I go help?” Will asked. The kid must’ve given an answer because Will spoke again, “I’ll be back to help Dr. Manning when she delivers your child but the other doctor needs help getting that man back into bed. And it isn’t going to come from the kid.”
What the redheaded doctor said must’ve gotten through to him, because Will appeared at her shoulder before moving to Charlie’s other side. 
“On three?” He asked her, grabbing an arm and wrapping it around his neck. She nodded. 
“One, two, three…” Together they lifted Charlie’s prone body into the bed. By that point, the ghost of her past had regained consciousness. His eyes were just barely open. 
“Why are you helping me?” He slurred. Glancing over her shoulder, Sarah made sure Annie’s son couldn’t hear her. Then she turned back to his sperm donor. She spoke quietly, “You know, after everything; everything you did to Erin and Annie. I’m asking myself the same thing.”
Will shot her a bewildered glance and she knew why. She had just revealed something else about her past, but she ignored it and told him to go back to Natalie. 
“You need help figuring out what’s wrong with him.” He protested as she put an oxygen mask over Charlie’s face. He was short of breath because his other organs were already trying to compensate. Sarah shook her head, “I know what’s wrong with him. He has a laceration on his kidney that needs to be repaired. But I don’t know if we can press our luck after what happened last time.” 
She glanced back to see the kid pacing the space once more. 
Her red-headed friend went to stay more, but David told him to get back where he was. With one more glance thrown at her, Will made his way back to Dr. Manning. Then there was an uneasy silence where the only thing that could be heard was a steady stream of beeping and sounds of whimpering and groaning from Lily. And David’s footsteps seemed to echo as loud as his frantic mumbling to himself as he paced the length of the ED back and forth. And again.
Then Cornilues Rhodes had a heart attack and almost coded. They got him back, but just barely. Charlie was also steadily getting worse. He needed that repair surgery soon and possibly dialysis, the longer this went on. Medication was only a stop-gap to a bigger problem.
Sarah had been reassuring Travis that things would be okay when she heard shouting. She tensed. Her body seized up because Connor was one of the people shouting. “I CAN’T FIX HIM HERE! HE NEEDS AN OPERATING ROOM WITH A WORKING BYPASS MACHINE!” 
He must be talking about his father.
Her stomach flipped and dropped when she heard the kid threaten her lover. Her heart started to hammer. Travis hugged her, burying his head in her stomach and she ran a shaking hand through his hair to try and calm him down. Her lover said something, but it was spoken so quietly that she couldn’t make out his words. 
“Fine, but I want the policeman’s daughter to do the transfer.” David spun around to face her. 
“No!” Three voices exclaimed together. Her nephew squeezed her tighter as if he could keep her with him by his sheer force and how tight his grip was on her. 
“That wasn’t part of the deal!” Connor, whose eyes kept darting back and forth between his father and her. His blue eyes were dark with anguish when their eyes met. And Ms. Goodwin followed one step behind the kid and she was trying to plead earnestly with him. 
“David, please. I can’t ask her to take that risk. I’ll transfer the patient myself and you’ll have my guarantee, no one will come in.” 
The brunette swallowed as he ignored the other woman and ate the space between them. Her arms tightened around Travis. 
“No, you said that last time and then they came in! So she’s going to be my insurance policy!” 
“David-”
“I’ll do it.” Sarah interrupted whatever Goodwin was going to say. Her voice was trembling as much as her hands were. She wasn’t as brave as Erin, but there was no use in arguing with the kid. He was a live wire and even she could see they were close to seeing those sparks. It was best just to agree with him. Besides, it was Connor’s dad. Even if she had a choice, how could she say no? 
“I’ll do it, Ms. Goodwin. It’ll be fine,” Her reassurance was undercut by her voice. The brunette moved her gaze to meet David’s, “But please. Consider letting Charlie go too. His kidney needs to be repaired and I don’t think he can last much longer down here.”
And the ghost of her past must’ve really made an impression on the father-to-be because David nodded his okay. “Get-get them ready to go.” 
“O-okay,” she caught Connor’s eye and nodded to him. It was meant to be reassuring. But the double-certified surgeon still looked uncertain and anguished. 
‘It’s okay,’ she mouthed to him. She watched him shake his head before he turned to Maggie, saying something but Sarah was too far away to hear him.  Sarah watched the nurse nod before she ducked her head down to look at her nephew. He still clung to her. 
“Hey, buddy.” She continued to card a gentle hand through his hair. Watery hazel eyes peered up at her. Then they disappeared again as he nuzzled into her trying to get the tears to stop. 
“You’ve been so brave and I’m so proud of you for it. You just gotta be brave for a little bit longer. Do you think you can do that?” She asked the ten-year-old boy. Travis made a small noise that could’ve been a whimper. 
“I want my mom, I want Grampa Hank, and I want Aunt Erin.” He told her, sounding younger than he actually was. 
“I know you do, buddy. It's okay. You will see them soon. I promise.” You will see them soon. Not we will see them soon. Because even if she didn’t make it out of this, she would make sure Annie’s son did.
After pressing a kiss to his forehead, Sarah called Ms. Goodwin over. 
“I’ve called Daniel and he has assured me he will keep the police back. But I still don't suppose I can change your mind about this?” The woman asked grimly. Slowly, Sarah shook her head as she said,  “It’s not safe to fight with him. Especially over this with what happened. Can you do me a favor though?”
Sharon raised her eyebrows slightly but nodded. 
“This is my nephew. Travis. Could you wait with him while I make the transfers? I just don’t want him to be alone right now.”
“Of course,”
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“Reese, you get one bed, I’ll get the other,” Maggie told her when the transfers were ready to go. The curly-haired brunette whipped around to face her friend with her brown eyes wide because that wasn’t the plan. 
No one was supposed to help her that way if something happened, no one else would get hurt. “Maggie-”
“It's my ED Sarah. My kingdom.” The charge nurse told her firmly before she grabbed Charlie’s bed and started to push it toward the doors. With her hands shaking worse than before, Sarah followed suit with Cornelius’ bed. 
David let them get as far as the doors, then he grabbed her by the neck and cold metal was pressed into the side of her forehead. She willed herself not to shiver at how it felt against her skin. 
“Dr. Charles?” She called.
“We’re here Sarah.” 
“I have two transfers here. But listen if SWAT tries what they did last time-”
“They won’t try anything. No one will. I promise.” Her pseudo-father’s gravelly voice settled over her like a warm blanket. Hank was here. Just hearing his voice, had her feeling a little more settled.
“That’s my Dad,” she told the kid calmly or she tried to. There was still a tremble to her voice. She swallowed tightly, but nothing lessened the lump that seemed to sit in her throat. “H-he wouldn’t put m-me in danger.” 
“Open it up,” David told Maggie as his arm tightened around Sarah’s neck. Maggie nodded and did as he said. 
“Kid?” Hank asked once the doors were open and the beds were transferred. It was just that nickname that he had always called her. But the brunette could hear the unspoken questions he was asking. Are you okay? Are you hurt? She couldn’t speak. David’s arm around her neck made it too difficult to even try, but she nodded to answer him. She was okay. She wasn’t hurt. 
“Shut the door! Go on, shut it!” He told Maggie and it was only when the lock was back in place that he let her go. He pushed her away from him. 
“Easy! She did as you asked and no one came in.” Maggie caught her as she stumbled into the other woman. 
“Maggie! Sarah! We need your help!” Connor called. They both looked at the kid.
“Go,” he waved them away with the gun still dangling in his hand, “Go!” 
They darted forward to the last room on the far side of the ED where the hybrid suite was. Sarah only paused briefly to check on Travis who was now with Dr. Choi and April. 
“Scrub in, the both of you.” Her lover told them. Despite only having the required number of hours of surgical experience Northwestern required, Sarah did as she was told. 
When she was scrubbed in, she was once more placed on the inside of Connor.  She didn’t know what she was doing here though. She was just standing behind him. Natalie was caring for the baby, once they had delivered him. So there was nothing for her to do. She thought maybe this was Connor’s way of trying to protect her; he didn’t really need her help. Until Lily’s uterus ruptured and had an uncontrollable bleed. 
“Sarah, start packing her, and don’t stop for anything,” Connor instructed. She nodded and started putting gauze in her stomach. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him look at Maggie and told her to start suctioning. 
“HEY! WE HAD A DEAL!” David was banging on the glass as she packed Lily with gauze. Every hit of his fist rattled the glass, “ YOUR FATHER FOR LILY! DON’T YOU LET HER DIE! DON’T LET HER DIE!” 
Her lover, now covered in the mother’s blood, barely spared him a glance as he clamped the bleeding. “Okay, Maggie. Give me an 0-8 on a needle with proleane. How many units has she had?”
“Hanging my last two,” Will answered from where he sat, sitting in for the anesthesiologist. 
“Okay, so we have about thirty minutes to stop this bleeding completely and sew her up.” He was so calm. It was one of the things she admired most about him. Even now, he was calm. 
“Reese, think you can help me sew her up after I get her uterus sewed up?” Sarah nodded at Connor’s question as Maggie passed her a thread and surgical thread.  
“Follow behind me and sew up her stomach as I sew up the bleed, okay?” 
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The kid had a fool’s plan to get out of the situation. Trying to get Lily to move and run away with him and their baby after she just had surgery. Not to mention it seemed like a half-thought-out plan. Then it was over. It ended the same way it started. With a bullet.  
Sarah and Connor surged forward as David went down. Connor to assess the damage and Sarah emptied the gun of its bullets and passed it to the nearest SWAT member that swarmed the ED, as soon as David was down. 
Intelligence was the next unit in the ED. Jay went straight to Will and Erin stopped briefly to check on her before she beelined passed her to go help Dr. Choi and April, and to go check on Travis. 
“Kid,” the smell of burning wood mixed with a lingering scent of gunpowder reminded her of the security that she associated with home filled her nose before Hank’s arms wrapped her small frame in a tight hug. “Are you okay?” 
“Hey, kid.” Her pseudo-father cupped her face and made her look at him when she didn’t answer. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m okay. I’m okay.” Maybe if she said it long enough, she would feel like she was. Then her hands would stop shaking. 
“Is Travis okay?” Hank Voight pressed his lips to the crown of her head as he nodded.��
“He’s okay.” He confirmed. His hand rubbed her back soothingly as he squeezed her tightly once more. Her eyes watered then and she choked back a sob of relief. It felt so childish to cry with everything over now. But before, she was in survival and protection mode. A mode she hadn’t really had to go into since she was a kid. There was no time to cry then. But now…Now it was over and she just fell apart because now she could. Especially with her pseudo-father hugging her and whispering reassurances to her.
“Shhh, it's over now. Everything is going to be okay. I promise.” He soothed in that gentle fatherly tone that all fathers worth their salt seemed to have. 
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“Thought you’d gone by now. That your dad would’ve taken you home.” A quiet voice inquired near her ear. Looking to the side, she saw Connor standing there. There was still some dry blood on his arm. His hand came up to rest on the small of her back. 
“Intelligence caught a case and was called to the scene. He and my sister both wanted to call a squad car to drive me home or take me themselves on the way to the scene, but I convinced Hank and Erin I was okay enough to ride the bus back home. And since I was okay, it wasn’t worth getting into an argument with their commander over.”
“And what about him? How is he?” Sarah sighed and moved her gaze back to the man who conjured so many conflicting feelings within her. When she delivered Travis back to Annie, she asked the other woman if she knew Charlie was back in Chicago or in jail. The other woman hadn’t said anything more than, “You need to talk to Erin or your dad about it.” 
But the way she flinched and the guilty look that crossed her face had said enough. She had known Charlie was back in Chicago. So had Erin and Hank. Yet no one had thought to tell her. Betrayal washed over her as easily as if a bucket of cold water had been thrown on her. Saying a tight goodbye to Erin’s friend, Sarah was wandering around the hospital with her whole body feeling stiff from her fall earlier today.  The bus wouldn’t run for another hour. So she wandered around the hospital and when she caught sight of Charlie’s prone form in general surgery recovery, she stopped and stared at him. 
“Dr. Peake was able to repair the damage to his kidney and sew the initial wound back together. She said he will need to be on dialysis for a few weeks to get his kidney back to regular function, but he can get that in prison and she’s confident he’ll make a full recovery.”
“You told Maggie you knew him?” Sarah squeezed her eyes shut. She had, but the only reason she had done that was to reassure the charge nurse’s mind that he wouldn’t hurt Travis when Sarah had put the kid in the treatment room with Charlie. 
“Yeah, since I was a kid. It’s…” she trailed off, explaining who Charlie was to her would mean telling Connor everything. And their arrangement wasn’t meant for heavy stuff like that. The brunette found herself sighing heavily, “It’s a long story. Not one really meant to be told in public. But anyways, how’s your dad? Did everything go okay with his surgery?”
Connor gave her searching a look for a moment, but when the subject of his father came up, his shoulders dropped in relief. His free hand, the one that wasn’t on her back, ran through his hair. 
“He’s doing better. Ava said the surgery was a success and he has a patch on his heart now. If all continues to go well, he should be able to go home within a week or so. My sister is with him now. She said with the day I’ve had, I’m not allowed back in the hospital until tomorrow, at the very least.” 
Sarah’s lips twitched in the ghost of a smile. “There’s been no official word yet, but Maggie thinks Goodwin is going to require everyone who was held, to take three days off.”
Connor opened his mouth to respond but was interrupted by her phone starting to ring. She sighed when she saw it was Hank. 
“Sorry, it’s my dad.” she apologized to Connor. Just like with the call she had declined from Erin forty-five minutes ago, she ignored the call and sent him a text saying she was really fine (for the millionth time) but she had no desire to talk right now because of the day. Really she just wasn’t sure how to broach the subject of Charlie with them just yet. 
They both had known Charlie was in Chicago and hadn’t told her.
“So you’re not driving home?” Her brown orbs lifted from the lit-up screen to meet his worried blue ones. She slipped the phone into the back pocket of her jeans and shook her head. 
“No, you drove me this morning. So I was going to catch the bus at seven. Why?” She asked. In response, he moved his hand from her back to grab her hand. He grabbed her other one as well and held them up to her. Her still trembling hands. 
“Today was terrifying,” she mumbled in a quiet voice. The explanation seemed to be enough and he nodded in silent agreement, before pulling her into a kiss. It was a fleeting soft one, but it felt different somehow. His tongue always traced the seam of her lips, but this time it felt more intimate in a way. Even the way he pressed her more into his side, the expanse of his hand felt warmer against her back. Must be the day finally catching up to her
“Come home with me tonight,” the double-certified surgeon whispered against her lips, “Not like that, but like you said, today was terrifying and I just want to hold you tonight.” 
An earnest yearning made his blue eyes seem softer. Like clear blue water in a spring. This wasn’t what their arrangement was. Sure, Sarah slept at his place and he held her when she did, after they slept together…But. It was that soft look that made her agree without hesitation.
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“Well that’s new,” Dr. Charles commented quietly, making Sharon look up from her hug with Cece. Following her friend’s gaze, she saw Dr. Rhodes and Reese leaving the hospital. Together from the looks of his arm around her waist. But really it was the gentle kiss he pressed to her forehead that made Goodwin think they were leaving together. 
“He was pretty protective of her in the ED. I just figured it was the stress of the situation. But maybe there is something more going on with them?” Sharon commented, her eyes soft as the young couple interacted. 
Young love.
“That’s not new Dad,” Robin shook her head at her father. Goodwin glanced behind her to study the younger woman. She didn’t think… she wasn’t that airy when it came to seeing her ex-husband with another woman. But then maybe her attitude had something to do with that new, bright shiny wedding ring on her finger.
“You can tell from their body language that it isn’t new.” Robin told the group softly as the couple walked out. Sharon watched her two doctors as they waited on the street. They might’ve been waiting for Connor’s car. Goodwin had seen him use the valet service before. Another kiss was pressed to the psych resident’s forehead.
Connor’s blue porsche pulled up to the street and Goodwin watched her surgeon open up the passenger side door while taking Sarah’s bag from her. Then he accepted the key from the valet and placed both bags in the back of the vehicle before they were speeding off and out of her sight.
Young love indeed.
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“You still have blood on your arm,” the brunette pointed out, tracing the line of it with the tip of her finger after the door was shut behind them. 
“Shower before bed then? You go get the water and stuff ready while I get us some clothes and lock up?” There hadn’t been many words spoken in the car when he drove them back to his apartment. Where his hand hadn’t left her thigh unless it had to because he needed that reassurance that she was there. The mention of food had been brought up, though neither of them had much of an appetite. 
She nodded silently and he gave her another soft look before he smoothed his hands down her shoulders and pulled her into another kiss. He was usually the one to move first in their arrangement. That same feeling from before-warm and tender- came back. When she pulled away, (She was always the first to pull away, just as he was usually the one to pull her in.) she left him to lock up and headed to the bathroom. 
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Sarah was undressing with steam billowing out of the shower stall. From the smell of the air, she had also used a lavender shower steamer.
“Clothes are on the bed,” he murmured, helping her with her shirt. His eyes darkened and he glared at the sight of foot-shaped bruises on her torso. 
“I fell when people started running,” she told him when she caught him staring. Her hands were still shaking when they grabbed his wrists. His dark gaze shifted up as he kissed her forehead. Yet there was no heat in his action as he pushed the fabric off her shoulders. Just care. Shivering, his lover pressed closer to him. Then her bra was gone, as were her pants and underwear. 
“Feels different,” she mumbled, pressing a kiss against his shoulder as she pushed his shirt up. Off it came and joined her piles of clothes. 
“What does?” Connor asked in confusion because they had showered together before. There were bottles of her shampoo, conditioner, and apple vanilla body wash, half used to prove it. 
“This,” she whispered as the dark-haired surgeon stepped out of his pants and underwear, kicking them to this side. Steam hit his face when the door to the shower opened. 
“Feels heavier than what an extended booty call should be,” she whispered, “But it’s probably just the stress of the day we both had. And the fact that we usually have sex, but we’re not tonight.”
“Extended booty call?” He blinked and repeated the term slowly as he guided them under the hot spray of water. Hissing, she tensed and huddled closer to him. Connor wrapped his arms around her easily. 
“I know there’s probably a more polite term but that’s what I’ve been referring to us as in my head.” Her words were muffled by his chest. He didn’t know if that was to keep him from hearing her or just her getting away from the skin-melting water until her body adjusted.
“You think you’re just an extended booty call?” He half asked half growled at her. His dark hair was starting to grow damp from the steam and fall just in his eyesight. 
His lover shrugged, taking his growl as a sign of frustration with his hair and not with her because she pushed his dark locks back. She was seemingly unbothered by her words as he was becoming increasingly more bothered by them. He frowned.
“I know what this arrangement is,” she spoke again. At least she sounded resigned now. She pulled away from him to take a step back to stand under the water directly. Arrangement. Not a relationship. His frown deepened. Well, that’s what he got for not defining his relationship with her.
“And what is this ‘arrangement?’” 
Because I think you and I think it’s very different things. Went unsaid. For one, you’re calling it an arrangement when I think it’s a relationship. Though he hadn’t quite mentioned that to her yet. That this was a relationship to him, but his tone of voice finally made her look at him, from where she was rubbing water on her face. 
“It’s not important,” Sarah waved him off while she turned around to grab his bar of soap. Or she tried to, but now that it was out there, Connor couldn’t let it go. 
“Sarah,” he took a step closer. Water ran down his back and he wrapped an arm around her waist, “Talk to me.”
“It was an off-hand comment. It doesn’t mean-”
“It means something to me. Now tell me what you meant by your ‘off-handed comment.’ Because I’m not letting it go until you do.”
Connor heard her sigh before she spoke quietly. Sheepishly. It was almost inaudible over the water pouring down on them. 
“You had to rebound from Robin with someone. You know, get under someone else to get over someone.” 
The blood in his veins boiled and ran ice cold at the same time. She thought he just wanted her for sex? Oh, you have royally fucked this one up, Rhodes.
“Sarah-” Her name was just the beginning of what he had to say. That he didn’t just want her for sex, it may have started out like that. He was big enough to admit that to her. It’s not how he felt now though. But she wouldn’t let him utter more than her name. He didn’t hear the sigh, but with the arm, he had around her, he felt her stomach as she inhaled and exhaled.
“Connor, can we not talk about it while we’re in the shower? Please?” She pleaded, turning in his arms to face him. Those doe eyes were turned on him now and it was only because he was immune to those chocolatey orbs that he relented with a nod. That and the bruises on her skin made her look fragile. And there was the matter of the dried blood in her hair. (Though Connor didn’t bring the blood up to her, not wanting to cause her more alarm. Her hands still hadn’t stopped trembling.) 
“This conversation isn’t over,” he warned her, as he took a step forward, backing her up more under the spray. Water had started to run down his shoulders and chest now in addition to his back. Snagging her bottle of apple shampoo, he got to work washing her hair. 
They were safe. They were here. His Dad was safe. His Dad was going to be fine. Sarah had hands that wouldn’t stop shaking and Connor had these words that he kept repeating to himself in a mantra since they left the hospital. That and he didn’t let Sarah stray too far from him. 
[LINE BREAK]  [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK] “You are not a rebound.” After their shower, Connor waited until they were settled in bed to broach the subject again. The woman pressed against him, huffed. He didn’t know if it was from distrust or annoyance. Either way, he continued to insist firmly in a quiet tone of voice, “You’re not. The women that came before you-they were rebounds. The porsche in the parking garage downstairs is a rebound. You are-”
A big reason why I’ve smiled in the last five months. The first person I see in the morning and the last before I go to sleep.
“Connor, I know you care about me to some extent, I’m not saying you don’t, but I think sometimes you forget I was Robin’s psychiatrist during her recovery. I’ve seen what you in a relationship, what you as a boyfriend, looks like. And while what we have is great, it isn’t that.” 
He ran a hand through his dark locks and sighed. When it was put like that, when he heard it from her perspective, it made sense.  And as much as he wanted to disagree and argue that it wasn’t true, he couldn’t. He hadn't been treating her like a girlfriend (At least not in public, but instead here in their bubble) and he knew it. The only thing Connor could try to do now was try to explain.
 “After my relationship with Robin crashed and burned, admittedly, I was scared to try again. To go all in with someone else. So I tried to just have casual sex and hold you at arm's length. But somehow you got under my skin, so I’ve been trying to keep you all to myself. But clearly, that isn’t working because you and I are on very different pages about what this is.”
Sarah picked up her head to look at him. Damp curls fell against his face and tickled him slightly before she pushed the hair behind her ears. 
“What is this to you?” The question came out in a hesitant whisper. As if she knew the answer, but was afraid of it. Shifting up slightly, Connor cradled her face in his hands. Then he slanted his mouth against hers delicately. It was true, he could turn on the charm when he wanted and truthfully could have most women and even a few men eating out of the palm of his hand with just the right grin. 
But the surgeon always thought his greatest strength lay in physical affection. So with his mouth moving against hers softly, teasing the seam of her lips. He tried to convey what she was to him without words. 
“I’ve been yours for a while now. I’m not really sure when it happened but a few months ago, before she caught us on the roof last month, Ava asked me a question. Which one of my many girls would get me that night? I don’t think I even answered her. But she commented how I used to be such a one-woman kind of guy. I remember asking her, how did she know I wasn’t still? And I was talking about you because I only wanted you. And had, for I don’t know how long. I’m sorry if that hasn’t been clear.”
“You want a relationship with me?” 
“As far as I’m concerned, we’ve been in one for months now. Now I guess the question is, do you want one with me?” He whispered softly, running his nose down her cheek. Then her neck. Lingering in that spot on her neck. He kissed it. With a slight mewling hum, the brunette beauty in his arms ducked her head down and captured his lips. The kiss was fleeting, her lips though lazy, were barely a whisper against his. 
“You realize that a relationship with me…I have expectations.” She teased as she shifted against him, her knees cradling his hips while she placed her hands on his chest and pushed up. Her torso ached with her bruises but Connor didn’t need to know that.  Despite the day they both had, Connor found himself grinning slightly at her words. He grabbed her hips to steady her. 
“Whatever you want,” he promised her. Another lazy kiss was traded between the two. She smiled against his lips, “I’m going to hold you to that.”
“I’m counting on that,” 
Her hands, he noticed had finally stopped trembling. 
[LINE BREAK]  [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK]
“Why didn’t you take the job at Mayo?” Sarah whispered sometime later. Her index finger continued to draw patterns on his chest, Connor losed a breath, and she felt him shrug beneath her. “It never felt right, I guess. I took it because it was a good offer, but I have my family…friends…and you here.” 
He chuckled quietly in her ear. It sent a shiver down her spine. Mistaking that for her being cold, the dark-haired man tucked her more firmly against him. She didn’t mind. Connor was a furnace and because of that, he kept his apartment freezing and she was usually cold.   
Connor continued. Another chuckle on his lips. “You know if you asked me four years ago, I would’ve taken any chance I had to leave Med and now leaving didn’t-doesn’t feel right. So when they offered me to head the hybrid program, it made my decision not to leave that much easier.”
Sarah hummed before she giggled at the sensation that ran down her spine. She squirmed. There was a comfortable kind of silence then. One where they didn’t have to talk. 
Till her…boyfriend? (Is that what she could call him now? Eh, she was going with it.) Till her boyfriend broke it, “So that guy? Will you tell me about how you know him now?”
Sighing, she turned her brown eyes on him. Maybe if she gave him those Bambi eyes everyone claimed she had, he would leave it alone. “He’s part of a bigger story and I’m not sure tonight is the night to tell you all of that. Especially with the day we’ve both had.”
“Baby,” he was pulling his own eyes on her in the form of that damned pet name that just made her melt every time he used it. A hand ran down her back, “As long as that is all it is.”
“I’m not sure I know what you mean.” She said before he pressed another kiss to her forehead. Then he pinned her with a soft, tender look in his blue eyes. “If you really don’t want to, then we don’t have to talk about it. But do you remember the first time I asked you to stay the night? You tried to brush me off, but I had this nagging feeling that you wanted to but something was holding you back. I have that same feeling again.”
“My childhood is just something I don’t really talk about… at all.” The brunette explained to her lover. She searched for a word to explain how it felt, “It’s painful and rough to think about and I try not to think about it every day.”
“I can understand that. But I want you to feel like you can talk to me if you ever want to. Even if it’s heavy stuff.” he told her. Sarah angled her head up and puckered her lips for a kiss. She was rewarded by Connor’s soft grin and his lips pressed to hers. 
“Charlie just blindsided me today. Give me a little while to process it and then I’ll tell you all the gory details.” She mumbled against his lips. He pressed another kiss to her lips in answer.
[LINE BREAK]  [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK]
He was blaming it on the emotionally charged day and night before. That was the only explanation he had for not noticing everything about the ringing cell he picked up in the wee hours of the morning wasn’t his. Sarah stirred in the form of an irritated grumble as he stretched out a hand to grab the equally irritating device. 
He glanced bleary-eyed at the screen and registered the familiar name of Maggie Lockwood and was sliding his thumb to answer before his mind was alert enough to register that it wasn’t just her name that flashed on the screen, but a picture of the charge nurse with April and Sarah all holding drinks at Molly’s, taken on Sarah’s last birthday. 
“Is it CT or Trauma, Maggie?” He asked by way of greeting as the curly brunette in his arms shifted. He couldn’t decide if she was awake or still asleep by how her leg tightened around his. There was a pause then Maggie asked, “Connor?”  
She sounded confused.
“Yeah, Maggie? Did you mean to call me?” He asked, half hoping for a chance that she hadn’t and he wouldn’t have to move from where he oh-so comfortably pinned beneath Sarah. 
“Well for one, I didn’t call you at all. I mean, I was going to, but I hadn’t yet. I called Reese,” Feeling wide awake now, Connor's eyes opened and he pulled the phone back slightly to glance at it. Now, he saw the picture of the three women smiling. The cell phone pressed to his ear was Sarah’s. Not his. And he had just answered it at almost six in the morning…
“I guess I know why Sarah’s been dodging mine and April’s attempts to set her up with someone since her break up with Joey now. And that I was seeing what I thought I was seeing between you two yesterday,” she chuckled then she sobered slightly as informed him of why she was calling in the first place. Sarah had been right. Goodwin had mandated everyone that had been held in the ED to take at least three days off and to let her know if they needed more time.
“I think you’ll be able to pass along the message to Reese,” the laughter was back in her voice. 
“Maggie,” Connor started, but he didn’t know where he was going because he wasn’t going to ask her to not say anything. That would be counterproductive to the conversation he and Sarah had last night. Yet, he didn’t want his personal life on complete display for everyone at the hospital once more. 
“It’s not new, is it? You and her?”
“Why are you asking?” He asked as Sarah’s head popped up from his chest. She blinked sleepily at him and saw he was on the phone before she yawned and lazily nuzzled at his neck. She was always the most cuddly in the morning and after their post-coital activities. 
“April thought she saw you two making out last month on the roof but she wasn’t completely sure. She was sure she was just seeing things. And then yesterday, there was a definite vibe I was picking up,” she told him and he sighed. Counting Ava, that made two people now that saw them. It made him wonder if there were more. He kissed her forehead before saying into the phone, “No, it’s not new.” 
“Treat her well, Connor. She deserves the best. And if you don’t, you’ll have me and April to deal with.”
While the two nurses were indeed scary both together and apart; he thought he’d have a lot more to deal with if he ever hurt Sarah the way Maggie was implying. And that line seemed to start behind Sergeant Hank Voight. But he didn’t say any of that. Instead, “Goodnight Maggie,” fell off his lips. 
“‘Night Ma-ag-gie,” the brunette repeated his words with a yawn. The ED charge nurse chuckled softly, “Goodnight you two.” 
When the line was dead, Connor tossed the phone on his nightstand and wrapped his arms around Sarah’s waist, and pressed kisses to every inch of her creamy, soft skin like he did every morning. Only this morning with dark bruises marring her skin, he moved more slowly, and his lips were just a whisper against the dark welts, His lips tracing every bruise he could see. 
“That feels nice,” she sighed, peeling an eye open. Another yawn passed through her lips as she lifted her hand to pat his head. “It’s still dark out. I’m not waking up right now. Even for morning sex.” 
He chuckled, “So you’ll go for morning sex if it’s daylight outside?” 
“Maybe not even then. I might be commandeering your bed and you will not be getting it back.” Another chuckle left his lips. Another kiss pressed to her forehead. 
“Then what do you call this?” 
“My pillow being chatty.” She deadpanned with a yawn, “What did Maggie want?” 
“She called to let us know that you were right. Goodwin is mandating we take three days after everything that happened.” 
“Mmm, and she knows about us?” Sarah sounded as if she was already half asleep already. Now Connor yawned as he settled back down too. 
“I answered your phone thinking it was mine. She put two and two together. Is that okay? That people know?” 
“I’m not trying to keep you a secret-” she yawned, “-Con-nor. I just didn’t know there was an us for people to know about last night remember? Didn’t know you were such a blabbermouth though.”
[LINE BREAK]  [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK]
The next time Sarah woke up, it was to an empty bed. Connor had gone to visit his Dad according to the sticky note he left on his nightstand. And he hadn’t been gone for long by the warmth still clinging to the sheets. It was still early and she didn’t have to be at work. So Sarah lingered a little longer in bed until her phone started ringing. Justin…and Teddy. She was avoiding Hank and Erin so it seemed like they were sending in reinforcements. 
“Hello,” she answered, getting out of Connor’s bed to head to the kitchen. If she was going to deal with overprotective big brothers, then she needed coffee. 
“What the hell happened yesterday?” Both of her brothers questioned and the brunette groaned, getting her favorite coffee grounds (When had Connor bought these? Had they always been here?) out of the pantry. 
She definitely needed coffee to deal with them. 
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softboywriting · 6 years ago
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Sick and Tired | Shawn Mendes
Summary: You are Shawn’s long time girlfriend on tour with him. He’s been sick for a few days and keeps pushing himself on stage. You’ve finally had enough of it.
Word Count: 1.2k
|Masterlist In Bio|
He's killing himself. Up on that stage, bright lights in his eyes, the band in his ears, fans screams deafening him. You told him to reschedule tonight's show for tomorrow. That he needed rest, that he was pushing himself to his limits. But that's the thing about Shawn, he thinks he's invincible on the stage. As if the music would take away the sickness coursing through his veins. It doesn't.
Sure the adrenaline high lasts a little while, but by his fourth song he's withering. You can see it from side stage when he grabs his guitars. The way his eyes are glassy, sweat dripping down his face when he hasn't been nearly as active as he usually is. He's sick and he won't listen, the stubborn idiot.
He's half way through Mercy when his voice gives out, breaking as he has to pull away from the mic to cough. He hangs his head, eyes screwed shut in pain. Was this worth it Shawn? Was it worth it to let your fans see you in pain as you give less than your best performance?
Immediately you turn and head for the lounge where Alessia is. You need to get Shawn off that stage, and she was your only hope of buying time with the fans. Sure enough you find her and she agrees right away, following you back to the stage, ready to go.
Shawn is trying to finish Mercy but by the time you arrive he's pulling back again, this time you can see his chest heave, a cough and a sob. You push past Jake and go up on stage, Alessia right behind you.
“Shawn, come on,” you say loudly over the band and Shawn turns to look at you. His face breaks your heart. Pale, sweaty, borderline gaunt.
“What are you-” he coughs and you wrap your arm around him, guiding him to where Jake is coming up to meet you.
Alessia grabs a mic she's handed by Zubin and replaces the one Shawn was breathing all over. The crowd has long since fallen into a quiet murmur, blatant concern for Shawn filling the room. Alessia says she's gonna do a couple cover songs, just for a few minutes while Shawn is taken care of. You're not sure if a few minutes will be enough, but you'll do all you can.
Shawn is a sweaty mess. His shirt is soaked, hair a wet mess of curls, skin clammy and chilled. You get him sat down on a couch in the lounge and Andrew comes in as Jake goes to get water.
“You shouldn't have let him perform tonight!” You round on Andrew, a finger in his face. This was his fault, he could have forced Shawn to reschedule. He knew Shawn was sick but he let Shawn push him into letting him play.
“He said he was going to be fine.” Andrew eyes Shawn whose head is lolling against the back of the couch. “I trust he knew his own body.”
You roll your eyes. Andrew was an idiot. “Can you go find me some honey? It'll help coat his throat and cure the cough for a few minutes.”
“Yeah, I'll be back,” Andrew turns and heads out the door. Jake gives you a water bottle and some hot water in a paper cup with tea bags before going to stand at the door.
“Shawn,” you say tenderly, blotting his face with a paper towel. “Talk to me.”
“My chest.” He coughs and winces, teeth grinding together. “Fucking Christ!”
“Okay, okay. We can't give you any more cold medicine so I'm gonna make tea and have you sip it.” You prepare the tea with shaky hands, eyes going to him every few seconds. “Here bud.”
Shawn takes the cup and sips, sighing softly as the liquid soothes his throat temporarily. “Thank you,” he whispers and you nod.
You get up and go to the catering cart, soaking a small hand towel in warm water from the tea carafe. You set it in the microwave and turn back to Shawn. “Lay down for me?”
“I need to go back,” he whispers and you shake your head. “but the fans...”
“They will wait.” You go over and get him out of his sweat soaked tee. He lays down as requested and you turn on the microwave for a moment to heat the wet rag. When it's warm you bring it over and lay it on his chest and throat. He lets out a soft groan of relief.
You kneel beside him, hand going to his forehead and he closes his eyes. He was burning up. Usually a sweat meant a fever was breaking, but he didn't feel cool at all. You push back some matted curls and he leans into your hand. “Why didn't you just listen to me?”
“You sound like my mom.”
“I don't care, you're sick and you probably would have collapsed on stage if I waited any longer.”
Andrew returns with some honey and a clean shirt. You're not sure where he got it but the honey but has an orange generic price sticker on it like you might see at a convenience store. Whatever. It's honey.
You get up and grab a spoon while Andrew asks how he's doing and if he should call the medical services. Honestly you aren't sure yet, the fever seems to be breaking but the real issue was that Shaw needed rest and wasn't getting it. He needed water, sleep, medicine and more sleep.
“Sit your head up bud.” You give him a spoon full of the honey and he almost smiles because it must feel so good on his throat. “He can't go back out there like this. His body is at it's limit.” You kneel back down beside him and lay your head by his shoulder. “I'm not a miracle worker. His vocal cords are strained right now, his whole body is strained.”
Andrew scrubs his hand over his face and sighs. “You're right. We have to cancel. Reschedule, work it in between nearby shows while we're here. That will buy us at least three days.” He pulls out his phone and dials someone's number. “I'll make arrangements. Can you and Jake get him back to the hotel?”
“No, please,” Shawn begs in a whisper. “I can't do that.”
“Shawn, you have to.” You lift the now cooled rag from his chest and he rolls over on his side to face you. “I know it's worst case scenario, and I know you don't want to disappoint people. But if you try and finish this you could damage your vocal cords or collapse. For once will you just listen to me? Please?”
“I do.”
“Hardly. You're not invincible, you're an idiot and frankly I don't care if you yell at me later, I'm not going to let you push yourself. Sit up.”
“I won't yell at you.” He sits up and puts on the clean shirt while you get up to get him a fresh cup of tea to go. “I love you too much to do that.”
“Yeah, sure.” You pass him his tea and he stands to walk out with you to meet Jake.
Shawn catches your hand and you look back before you can open the door. “Thank you, for everything, and I meant it. I love you.”
“I know Shawn.” You lay your hand on his cheek and he closes his eyes. “I’ve always known.”
_____
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tzpscuckchair · 6 years ago
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No one: Not a Single Soul: Shawn Mendes:
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