#shawn mendes mini series

[biglisbonnews]

Are Shawn Mendes and Sabrina Carpenter Dating? Rumors of Shawn Mendes and Sabrina Carpenter's supposed "fling" have heated up after the pair were photographed on a jaunt through WeHo Monday, during which they most likely chatted about the unseasonably rainy weather.But this is not the first time internet gossips have been tipped off about the pair. Last week, Deuxmoi posted a screenshot via Instagram Stories in which a pesky little spy wrote: "spotted Shawn Mendes and Sabrina Carpenter on clearly a date at Horses anon pls. Thursday night." They added that "Sabrina was in a little brown mini skirt" and could clearly tell it was Shawn Mendes from his newly shaven head and white sweatshirt. "Deuxmoi, this is Sabrina Carpenter calling. I'm calling to let you know how disappointed I am in your story. There's many things that I read in here that were false, like you saying I wore a little brown mini skirt."Flash forward to Monday, when People nabbed pics of the lovebird hopefuls on a leisurely stroll. Mendes adorned himself in a sherpa-lined denim jacket, while Carpenter rocked a sensible sweatpants-and-hoodie combo, chain-link shoulder bag delicately perched on her shoulder. From the photos, Mendes and Carpenter appear deep in conversation. Let me take another swing at what they possibly talked about: "Do you like your agent? Mine's pretty nice." Carpenter was most recently linked to former Teen Wolf heartthrob Dylan O'Brien and High School Musical: The Musical: The Series co-star Joshua Bassett. Mendes, who broke it off with Camila Cabello in 2021, has been seen on various walks with his 51-year-old chiropractor Dr. Jocelyn Miranda. Miranda frequently also posts photos with him on Instagram, like the one below with fellow musician Omar Apollo. See on Instagram For what it's worth, neither Miranda, Mendes nor Carpenter have commented on the rumor mill. Image via Getty/ Jeff Kravitz https://www.papermag.com/sabrina-carpenter-shawn-mendes-2659480706.html

[kinky-mendes]

New Shawn story??

So, I just came up with a really nice story idea I think you guys would like, I’m actually really excited to do this one as for it is inspired by something/someone in my life right now. I thought how cool would this be for a story, I havent seen a story like it, correct me if I’m wrong. ( I actually don’t read much here ) but expect a sneak peak in a few.

[ffsshawn]

language of flowers pt. ii

a/n: surprise, a part two! this was super fun and super fluffy to write. I’d love to hear feedback on this! Enjoy my loves <3 part 1

He came to see her later that week, with several coffees in hand, grinning as he placed the drink carrier on the counter.

“Wow, are you bringing coffee for an army Shawn?” Her voice was light, almost otherworldly really but that was probably because Shawn was head over heels for her.

“No, I just didn’t know what you liked so I got you one of everything,” he said pointing to the different drinks. “There’s coffee, tea, a sweet drink, and one without caffeine.”

“I guess you’re just gonna have to stick around and help me finish these right?” she winked at him and he felt his heart skip a beat, nodding to her as she went back to her flowers.

“You’re staring.”

He choked, almost spilling his drink all over his shirt in the process. “I was not staring,” he sputtered, failing to regain his composure once she made eye contact with him. He was usually good with girls, smooth really, but with her all bets were off. Shawn was playing a losing game from the first moment he saw her.

Clearing his throat he took a look around. “Are you working on something?” he motioned with his hands towards all the flowers scattered on the workspace she had set up.

“Yeah. We’re doing an event this weekend so there’s lots of prep work.”

“Can I help?” Shawn offered.

She looked up from the flowers she was trimming with a frown on her face. “Shit, I’m making this a bad coffee date aren’t I?”

His breath hitched at hearing the word date again. God, was he so infatuated with her, acting like a little love struck puppy. She looked gorgeous though, chewing on her bottom lip with a crease in her brow as she kept her eyes trained on him.

“No!” Shawn exclaimed, louder than he had intended causing her to break out into a soft smile. “This is perfect, I want to help so don’t feel bad.”

She giggled gesturing him to come towards her. “Okay, how about you cut and flatten the million boxes here?”

He scoffed jokingly when he grabbed the box cutter from her. “What? You don’t trust me arranging the flowers?”

She leaned back against the counter, arms crossed as she looked over him. Shawn was getting nervous, felt sweaty as she kept staring at him with that mischievous piercing gaze. It felt like she was looking into his soul and only after she started grinning did Shawn feel like he could breathe again.

“You can try your hand at arranging them, but we wouldn’t want the pretty boy to prick his finger on any thorns you know?” she teased as his cheeks flushed. “I don’t have time to look for a princess to wake you up.”

He let out a breath, thinking that the princess was right here in front of him, but chuckled and grabbed a cardboard box instead.

“So what occasion are those flowers for?” he asked her.

“They’re Peruvian Lilies and I’m using them for a grand opening of this big hotel. They’re commissioned by a family friend of the hotel owners and means fortune, wealth, and friendship. Pretty and fitting for the occasion right?”

He mumbles an affirmation as she focuses on the flowers. Pretty is right. Shawn glances up at her every few moments and he’s stunned every single time. It’s not even the golden hour but it looks like she’s bathed in golden sunlight. She’s like those meadow scenes in movies where it’s peaceful with birds chirping and the soft rustle of trees, just in real life.

He suddenly felt a stinging sensation, looking down and saw blood from his thumb. “Shit!”

She whipped her head towards him, eyes alarmed as she rushed to him. “What happened?”

“Just cut my thumb, s’okay, just stings a little,” he said clutching a paper towel over his thumb.

“Rinse your thumb in the sink, I’ll be right back!”

Shawn did as instructed, taking a seat on the stool and ran his hand under the tap for a little bit, turning towards her when he heard her steps getting closer.

She was out of breath, probably running and rummaging for the first aid kit she had in her hands. She stepped between his legs and grabbed his hand in her shaky ones, putting some ointment and a bandaid on it.

“Hey, you okay?” Shawn asked, grabbing her shaking hands in his. He glanced up at her, face tinted pink and hair in disarray. “It’s just a cut, I’m fine.”

She gripped his hands and took several deep breaths. “I—I’m not good with blood,” she muttered. “Bad experience in the past.”

He intertwined his fingers with hers, sticking out his bandaged thumb and grinning, trying to lift her spirits up. “Well I’m fine, look, all bandaged up and I didn’t even need a princess.”

She laughed, a real gentle sweet laugh that he could practically taste the radiance and beauty of. It was music to his ears and it was the kind of laugh he could write songs about.

“You’re staring again,” she whispered.

“So are you,” he replied, thumb stroking her hands.

“I—” she stopped mid sentence, turning her gaze down onto the floor as her cheeks warmed up. “It’s weird, how I feel like I’ve known you for years. I can tease you and talk to you and it feels so natural. We've only met a handful of times, but it feels like the hundredth.”

Shawn got up and stepped towards her as she moved back until she reached the edge of the sink. He lifted his hand, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear. It seemed like the Earth stopped spinning as their faces got closer to each other. Shawn wasn’t sure if it was him moving, or her, but it felt right. It felt magnetic and alive, like this should be the only thing they were doing right now.

“We’re about to kiss,” she said, and he could feel her cool breath on his lips.

“We are,” he moved closer as her eyes fluttered close.

He cupped her cheek as the sudden ring of a phone echoed throughout the store causing her eyes to shoot open as Shawn let out a sigh.

His kissed her forehead, smiling as her grip tightened on his sweater. “There’s a concert next weekend. Come with me?” he asked.

She nodded her head before releasing his shirt. “Feels like a stolen moment,” she muttered and he smiled in agreement, his lips finding her forehead once more.

“And I’ll make sure there are hundreds more,” he said and she grinned that happy grin. The one that made it hard for him to breathe, made him feel tingles from head to toe.

She intertwined their hands together. “I’ll hold you to that Shawn.”

[gentlemanmendes]

Beauty and the Beast

a/n: I have had this series in my drafts for almost a year now and I figured since finer things did so well I might as well post this and see how that goes so here we go. There will be at least five more parts to this.

Beauty and the Beast:

A Royal wedding was to take place. The kings son, the prince, was finally to be wed. But it wasn't the wedding that had the villagers excited for the special day that was to arrive shortly, it was who he was marrying that had them acting so joyfully at this late hour of the night in the street.  The prince had chosen one of the local villagers to be his wife and future queen of the land. Although no action had been taken yet such as a proposal news had spread from the palace to the local village's that Y/n y/l/n was who the prince wanted to be his bride. The daughter of the queens seamstress. It seemed scandalous to all the other Royals who had their daughters lined up for the prince especially since from what they knew she had nothing to do with the prince.

As she walked through the lit up streets of the village y/n felt slightly overwhelmed. She didn't even know if the rumors held any truth, she hadn't spoken to the prince since she was a young girl. Having had both of her parents work in the palace, her father as a knight, and her mother as the queens seamstress she had spent a lot of time in the palace. She was to stay by her mother's side when she did but as a young girl she very solemnly ever obeyed the rules and would wonder off through the halls of the palace in amazement. In the dresses that her mother had made her it seemed easy for her to pretend to be a princess as she aimlessly wondered pretending to know where everything was and bark orders at imaginary servants, that was until she had ran into a certain young boy who happened to do those exact things on a daily basis. After that day of meeting prince Shawn in the hallway they agreed to meet at the bottom of the stairs of the east wing tower every time y/n had come along with her mother. Shawn showed y/n every room of the palace and she had shown him games that she had learned at school and with the other children in the village. She learned that Shawn didn't have any friends or anyone his age in the palace, being his parents only child and the only company he received was from his tutors and servants he felt lonely. From the age of eight to fourteen they had been each other's best friends until one day Shawn didn't show up at the meeting place. At first y/n had just assumed he had been busy but then again the next time Shawn didn't meet her and by the third time she had given up. After that she stopped going with her mother to the palace and stuck to her life in the village without giving the palace or the prince a thought until the rumors had surfaced  a few days prior.

"Oh Y/n!" One of the girls y/n had grown up with but never taken a liking to approached her waving her arms. "Is it true?" She gushed excitedly causing y/n to sigh.

"I know just as much as you do." She smiled in response the way she had so many times in the past few days. She had settled on not leaving home because she was sick of all the drama but her mother had sent her out to buy more bread from the baker for supper only she hadn't needed to pay for the bread because the bakers wife was so ecstatic to see as she called y/n 'the future queen'  that she gave her three loafs of bread and a fruit cake without charge.

"But if it is, you have to let me help with the wedding arrangements." The girl  said thrilled. Y/n was still trying to remember her name and felt bad that she couldn't but then again she was sure that if the rumors hadn't been floating around the village she wouldn't have remembered y/n's name.

"Pardon me but I must get home to my mother, she is ill and I promised her I wouldn't be gone too long." Y/n apologized desperate to get away from all of the drama that was surrounding her. If y/n couldn't handle this and the rumors' did hold truth she was in no way fit to be the bride of a prince. The attention was too much for her and unlike every other girl in the village y/n didn't want to marry the prince. Prince Shawn belonged in her past, to think that it was possible he could  now be her future too brought an uneasy feeling to y/n.

For the rest of her journey home, y/n wore the hood of her cloak over her hair and face in hopes of not being noticed by anyone else who believed the absurd rumors. Once she had arrived home she had never felt more relieved. She rid herself of her cloak and hung it up by the door next to her mother's cloak as she made her way through the small hut that she called her home.

"Mother I brought the bread, and the baker gave us cake too!" Y/n called out to her mother only to freeze in her tracks when she enters the room to find her mother gleefully serving tea to not only the king and queen but also the prince himself, a sight she had never expected to see in her two bedroom home. Among the room stood the royal knights in position, the way her father once had.

At y/n's presence her mother stood straight smiling wider than y/n had seen her smile since her father had passed.

"Your majesty." Y/n greeted respectfully before giving a curtsy the way she had been taught to since she was a young girl. As Shawn turned around so his gaze could fall upon y/n she was reminded of the first time they had met when she had greeted him this exact way  and he had stopped her. That boy didn't want to be a prince, he had wanted to run away, find a ship, and sail the the seas as a pirate. It seemed strange to see him after all these years, he had change so much. He was a lot more handsome that was obvious but his eyes were not as bright as they had once been, so full of hope for adventure and thrill in life, as though he was ready to conquer the world. Now he looked like he was ready to conquer the world most literally, until all the land was under his control. He was most certainly his father's son, the boy she had met didn't want that.  

Y/n's mother was by her side as she stood up straight again and took the basket of bread from her, the smile not once leaving her face as she made her way to cut up the cake and serve it for the king and queen who looked beyond uncomfortable in the small hut, the two had lived in palaces their whole lives no doubt they were out of their comfort zone.

Shawn stood up from his seat and made his way towards y/n causing a lump to grow in y/n's throat as she suddenly became more nervous. It wasn't his towering height that frightened her it was the fact that she knew where this was going and was dreading it more and more with every step that Shawn took towards her. Before y/n was even ready Shawn was standing in front of her, taking her dry hand in his soft ones before bending down on one knee. Y/n felt as though she was going to be sick, it was as if the whole room was spinning and she was sure she was about to faint and not in the good way.

"Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?" He asked as y/n attempted to steady her breathing so she didn't bring up her lunch all over the prince. This whole situation was bizarre. She had always expected that she would marry for the love like her parents had not someone from her past that had become a ghost of who he once was. In her mind she was attempting to come up with a way she could reject the princes proposal without her or her mother being punished until her eyes fell upon her mother. The women looked as though she were about to explode with joy. Tears were threatening to fall from her eyes as she watched her daughter with a proud smile. The queen on the other hand did not looked pleased one bit, her top lip was curled and nose scrunched up as if she had smelt something horrid, as for the king he looked board of the situation all together.

"I will." Y/n finally breathed out uneasily, surprised that she had even managed to utter the words at all.

Y/n watched as Shawn smiled a broad smile, from the corner of her eye she saw her mother begin to cry tears of happiness. That's why she was doing this. After her father had died her mother had given her everything she could now it was time for y/n to do the same back. Working in the gardens hadn't been enough to help her mother but marrying the prince would. Besides the Prince seemed happy too so she wasn't doing wrong by anyone but herself. She had been so distracted drowning in her own miserable thoughts as she watched the future she had planned for herself drift away that she hadn't even noticed the piece of metal that Shawn had slipped on her finger until Shawn was now standing in front of her admiring the ring on her finger, only it wasn't metal. When she looked down at it she was taken back. The ring must have been worth more than money then her family had ever seen their whole lives. It all felt like a daze and now she needed her rest.

The king and queen got up from their seats without even touching their servings of cake and made their way to the door.

"I will have a carriage come for you tomorrow morning so we may begin the wedding planning." The queen uttered as she passed y/n. Shawn gave y/n one more pleased grin before following his parents. Once everyone had left y/n's mother hurried across the room and pulled y/n into her arms as she began to sob into the croak of her neck. Y/n began to cry too only she was crying for a different reason. She felt cold and empty. She had agreed to marry a stranger that she couldn't stand. Gone were any hopes she had for love and happiness in a relationship.

[flawlessakashawn]

december ‘18/janurary ‘19

part 1    part 2    part 3

a/n: that’s the 4th part of my mini series ‘move on’. just fake texts but really important and heart breaking lol

genre: angst

16th December ‘18

3rd janurary ‘18

[holdinbacksecrets]

I Hope he Likes Surprises Pt5

A/N: Emily ( @whitechocolateperfection ) is making me do this, so if no one likes it I’m blaming her lol ..  song at the beginning is ‘I’m Yours” Alessia Cara 

Y/n POV

'But I tore down my walls

And opened my doors

And made room for one

So baby, I'm yours'

"Babe, you've got to stop listening to this garbage. It's just going to make you feel worse."

"I thought you had a class to get to?"

"Don't you have a class?" Zoe reiterates, placing a hand on her hip. "I know you're hurting, but you can't stay hidden away in here forever."

"He hasn't come back yet, Zoe. He's still living it up in Portland. While I'm left, trying to hold myself together."

Even though I told him I didn't want him to call, I expected him to. I expected him to fight harder for us, for me.

"How will it be better if you hear from him? I don't want you to be even more hurt." Zoe sets her backpack down.

"Zoe this is two years of my life. Two years of holidays, and birthdays, and vacations with our families. Two years of loving and being held when I was too upset to fall asleep. I don't want to move on and be single or even find anyone else. I want him, but he cheated on me.

I'm going to hurt a lot more before I get better." I lay back on the couch, wondering when things all went wrong.

Zoe kneels down in front of me, placing a hand on me knee. "Do you want me to stay in with you? I can miss this class?"

"Go," I try to smile. "At least one of us needs to graduate from college. I'll be fine."

"Babe, are you sure?"

"Zoe, go! I promise I'll stay busy. I have a thesis to write."

"Wuthering Heights is on my book shelf if you need an escape. I know it's one of your favorites. I'll be back in a couple hours, ok? I love you, Y/N." I watch my roommate blow me kisses as she heads out the door.

It wasn't a hard decision, coming to the  clearing. I hiked it hundreds of times with Shawn and it held so many memories. Maybe it was torture, reminding myself of all the laughs we shared here, but I don't care. All caring does is create disappointment.

I lay the flannel blanket down and take a seat, looking around at the trees. There's a park to my right and picnic tables to my left. A small family is eating sandwiches. The girl is drinking chocolate milk while her mother braids her blonde hair.

"I thought you'd be here."

I hoped I'd imagine that voice and it wasn't nearly at my ear, making butterflies in my stomach flutter. It's not until a body sits next to me that I realize it's all very real.

It's too hard to look at him and not lean into his body like I've done so many times. The heat on his skin is radiating, and I'm embarrassed, realizing I'm wearing one of his sweatshirts, but Shawn doesn't say anything.

"I didn't think you were coming back." I become fascinated in the blazes of grass, plucking one from the dirt.

"I got in this morning. I didn't tell anyone I was coming home, not even my family. I felt like I needed to see you first. Clear things up."

I nod, knowing I can't trust my voice, and we aren't alone. The last thing I wanted was to make a scene and ruin that young girls' day. It was going much better than mine.

"Clear things up?" I finally look at him, squinting through the sun.

"I didn't do everything you think I did."

I'd be lying if I didn't say I felt a small sliver of hope and relief. Maybe it wasn't as bad as I was thinking. My mind had been going to so many places. Half of them were too terrible to even comprehend.

"What am I suppose to think?"

Shawn's POV

June 1, 2017

A man slides another drink across the table and I take it. The shot glasses are piling up now and the music seems to be louder than I remembered.

I've noticed the girl sat next to me, the way her chair seems to grow closer and closer with every passing moment. I ignored it at first, remembering who I love back home.

"You look awfully familiar. Have I seen you here before?" It takes a minute to register what she's saying. The way her lips move up into a smile intrigues me. There's a small nose ring that catches the light perfectly. Her eyes are dark green with flecks of gray. Dark hair cascades down her shoulders and her fingers are clad in rings. Her hand is brushing mine now and I don't even try to push it away.

"First night, actually." My eyes drift to her neck and collarbones. Then down her chest. The end of a belly button ring catches my eye. Y/N always talked about getting one, but she was too afraid of needles. Even though she has three tattoos.

"I'd say take a picture it'll last longer, but I told myself I wasn't going to flirt with anyone tonight. Even if an extremely attractive male is seated alone at a bar. You have to have a girlfriend. There's just no way you're single." Her finger runs along the rim of her glass. the scent of vanilla catching my nose.

I smirk, looking back into her eyes. "I don't have a girlfriend." At least not tonight.

The door slams shut against my body weight as her legs wrap around my waist. I'm shedding layer after layer, trying to keep my lips on any skin I can reach.

"God you're hot." I tense at the words and the voice that doesn't belong to Y/N, but I ignore the feeling deep in my gut. It's been too long and I needed to release this sexual frustration.

"Just kiss me." I walk to the bed, letting the girl fall against the plush material. Her giggles pierce my ears annoyingly, and I block out the sound.

Everything is moving so quickly. My hands fumbling with the condom, sweat on my forehead. Lanky fingers push into my back and I close my eyes trying not to think of her. I needed this, I remind myself. It's ok.

But it wasn't. As each minute passes everything feels different. This wasn't the girl I love, or the person I've told all my friends I plan to spend the rest of my life with. She doesn't take Aaliyah shopping, or cook dinner with my mom. She doesn't know me, and she doesn't want to. I didn't begin this night expecting a drunk hook up and that isn't how I'm going to let it end.

"Wait, I can't do this."

No POV

The sun is falling into the horizon. Pinks and oranges blend together. Clouds still litter the sky, but the air has grown cooler. The young family has left the clearing and only Shawn and Y/n are here, sitting on the flannel blanket.

Tears are growing behind her eyes and Shawn keeps himself from reaching for her hand. He knew telling her was the right thing, but that didn't mean it would change how she felt.

"I'm so sorry. If I could take it all back I would. I'll do anything, Y/N."

She wants to believe him. That he didn't sleep with the girl, but it almost happened. He wanted it. At least for a second, convincing himself it was ok and wouldn't matter, right? Isn't that what he did?

Everything seemed so unclear. She couldn't pick apart anything that made sense. Even though Shawn always made sense. She never had to question him before. His motives. His honesty.

"I know it's what I wanted to hear, but I don't know Shawn.. I'm overwhelmed. I'm hurt because you thought-"

"No I didn't. I missed you, but I realized it was wrong. Before I let it go to far."

"Shawn, you shouldn't have let it go anywhere. Just because you didn't have sex with her doesn't make me feel any better."

His hands rub up and down his legs. For once the right words didn't come to mind. He'd written so many, creating songs that people loved, but none of that would matter to her. A beautiful song couldn't erase his mistakes, or that night. Even if that's all he wanted.

"“I know it’s going to take some time, for you to forgive me, for us to move on. I know I took you for granted—it keeps me up at night—but I swear, I’ll never hurt you again. Tell me to go and I’ll go, but tell me to stay and the last thing I’ll do is leave you alone.”

[shawnbemerciful-blog]

Lights

A/N: Hi so this is my first time posting a shawn mini-series! :) I just reached 100 followers which is super exciting (THANK YOU TO ALL MY BEAUTIFUL FOLLOWERS ILY), and I thought why not share some of my writing in hopes maybe a couple people might like it.

Thanks to @raineshawn and @whitechocolateperfection for reading this over and making me feel encouraged to post this.

Also there is some supernatural elements to this story, and I hope you enjoy it! 

PART 1

To be honest, I’m not sure how to describe a concert to someone who’s never been. They get the basics: the singer sings, fans scream, usually you purchase very expensive tickets (depending whether or not you like your singers on the Billboard’s 100), and there’s a very prolonged ringing in your ears that you still feel as you lay in bed at night. But how are you supposed to express the energy that an artist sends over tons of speakers to someone?

That all rushes through my brain when my friend said he’d never been to a concert.

“I went to my sister’s recital last June,” he chuckles. He moves his phone so I can see his facial expression clearer over face time. “Does that count?”

Wise ass.

“You can’t think of one?”

He shrugs. I became desperate and started listing off artists. Nothing.

A couple weeks later, I’m driving Kev home after school when he points out how “awfully focused I am on the road today.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’re not talking as much. Got a surprise for me?”

I park in his driveway and switch my car stereo on so it’s reading the CD I left in there. 

“Is this Shawn Mendes?” Kev asks as I’m digging through my glove compartment.

I finally find the piece of paper and hand it to him.

His left eyebrow lifts in concern. 

“Don’t worry it’s not a love letter.” I tell him.

“Concert tickets? To see Shawn Mendes?”

“SURPRISE pleaaaase say you’ll come with me, and then we can kiss your concert-virginity away!”

Kev laughs, “you’re always a one with words,” then shrugs. “When is it?”

“Well, if you read your ticket then you could find out.”

“I thought the ticket was more for the dramatic effect of taking it out the glove compartment and…”

“Shhh or I’ll make you pay for it.”

He looks at me seriously. “Wait… this is a gift?”

“Of course! I’m not going to force you to come to a concert and make you pay.” I notice his smile. “It’s my thank you gift.”

He stays quiet for a while, then looks up. “Promise me you won’t scream the entire concert.”

“I cannot guarantee that.”

•••

“These seats suck.”

I couldn’t argue, but I never told him they’d be good seats. Section 127, Row 3, which was the upper level and had a pretty distant view of the stage. Shawn would look like a stick figure from up here, but that didn’t matter too much.

We’re still here.

“At least I didn’t have us sitting all the way back there. Then you’d really hate me.”

We smile at each other. And the concert process begins.

Waiting. Opening acts. More waiting. Then, Shawn comes out. I’m screaming. Kev’s politely nodding his head (do I hear him humming and singing some lines? I knew sneaking the CD into his car would pay off. Wait till I show him the concert tee shirt I bought him!)

You’re probably wondering why I’m not going into more details about this concert, because, to be quite honest, it was incredible. But surprisingly, it wasn’t the music, or the screaming, or his performance that really stole the show away.

“Mmmm mmmm mmm”

Even Kev gives a little scream when he realizes Mercy’s up next, and I’m obviously not functioning because this is my favorite song. Ever.

Everyone’s screaming the lyrics to the song. The preteen girl with her mom in front of me, who is wearing a homemade “i luv shawn!” shirt, has her phone out filming. Shawn’s little stick figure image is hugging the mic, and I can see the guitar hanging off his shoulders. The girls next to me are jumping and screaming and the energy in the room increases.

“consuming all the air inside my lungs”

It’s contagious

“ripping all the skin from off my bones”

Looking around the arena, I can see bodies dancing, signs waving

“i’m prepared to sacrifice my life”

Everyone’s anticipating it, the note he’ll sing that makes us crazy

“i would gladly do it twiceeee”

silence

“OHHHH”

“PLEASE HAVE MERCY….” I hear my singing/yelling clearly as if I were singing in the shower, and I stop. No screaming. I look around, and no one is moving. It’s as if everyone got stuck in a game of freeze dance, but Shawn’s still singing. Still, I can hear in his voice how he’s noticed something is off. I turn to look at Kev, and he’s frozen.

“Kev?” No response. I put the back of my hand to his mouth, and I feel easy puffs of air hit my palm. His heart rate is normal, but he’s not blinking. I look around our section and no one is moving.

No one is moving.

No one is moving.

But I am.

So is he.

“Hello?” I hear from the speakers. The arena is still pretty dark, but even Shawn has noticed that the entire place is still. “Hello?”

Shit. I scream, “Hello!”

Silent for a moment, and I’m scared he didn’t hear but he says. “Where are you?”

“UP HERE!”

He turns in my direction, and I’m actually stunned that this boy, this celebrity, is facing my direction as if he actually heard me. I freeze up in shock, and it takes me a while to realize he’s still talking to me, trying to get a conversation rolling so we can figure out what the hell happened.

“WAIT wait wait wait over there I’LL BE RIGHT DOWN!!” I yell, trying to navigate my way around the frozen people in my row so I can get to the aisle and go to the stage.

I’m running, and I’m running so hard through the halls of the arena, running past Shawn’s merchandise, running down the escalator, running towards the floor of the arena, running, running so hard my gym teacher would be damn proud.

I finally make it to the front of the stage. He’s not there.

“Aw fuck.”

I manage to get over the divider that creates a distance between the front row seats and stage, and then I crawl onto the stage itself. Shawn is still nowhere in sight.

But I’m there. Standing on the stage.

So this is what it feels like. Kinda. I bet it feels more exhilarating with, you know, people screaming and the band playing and you singing.

He left his guitar behind, and then I thought how I’ll never have a chance again to be on a stage, with an audience (yes they’re frozen but at times we can’t be picky) and a band (also frozen) all around you. So I pick up the guitar (HIS GUITAR), significantly lower his mic stand, and start playing the beginning of Lights On (quite terribly if you ask me)

“Damn you look so good with your clothes on.”

I keep singing. And playing. The spotlight is on me, or where Shawn should be, but it doesn’t matter because I’m technically playing on a pro stage, and your average guy couldn’t say the same. So I keep going.

“I wanna love you with the lights on.”

“Keep you up all night looong.” Shawn sings.

I jump and turn around, and there’s Shawn giving me that “got you” face; I, however, look like I’ve been caught red handed with my face actually turning red. I’m not sure what else to do but say “sorry” maybe 50 times while I scramble to take the guitar off yet not damage it.

I haven’t really been looking at him through all 50 sorrys. I’ve been avoiding the moment out of nerves where I’d have to face him and confront the situation, but there came a point where looking down at my shoes wasn’t doing anything. I look up and see he’s uncomfortable too, but he meets my eye contact.

“So, uh, what’s your name?”

Ok standard. I can do this.

“Luca.”

See? Done.

“Luca? I’ve never heard Luca used as a girl’s name.”

Fuck.

“But it’s pretty,” he continues.

Fuck.

“Thank you.” I say.

“You’re welcome.” He says.

We stay silent, looking around the stadium hoping someone would save us, but we only got blank faces.

It’s not easy meeting strangers, especially ones you think you know but soon realize you know nothing about.

“Hey, uh, Shawn?” It’s odd to say his name.

“Yes?”

“I just want clear one thing up.”

“Uh what?”

“I didn’t do this.”

Silence for a moment.

“I’m no wizard.” Wow how awkward can I be?

Then.

“Really?” he questions.

“Yeah.”

“Oh.”

More silence.

“Well, it’d be cool if you were.” He smiles.

“What?” I look at him confused.

“It’d be cool if you were a wizard.”

“Yeah it definitely would be.” I pause. “I could probably gain a lot more street credit.”

He laughs.

I exhale pretty loudly, then smile too.

But then we remember, and both of us look out into the audience and see all these blank faces. We both have the same thought.

What happened?

[thoscheitrashdhawan]

‘BABY’ MASTERLIST

PART 1 - Baby

PART 2 - Too Hard To Leave You

PART 3 - It’s Been A Long Time Coming

PART 4 - Don’t You Let Me Fall

PART 5 - All Along I’ve Been Coming For You

Epilogue - It Meant Something To You

If you’d like to be added to my tag list, send an ask, leave a comment, or add yourself here!

[watchmegetobsessed]

Crush // Shawn Mendes mini-series part 4

okaaay so this is the final part of this mini-series, i hope you enjoyed it! hopefully i’ll come with the next part of boundaries very soon, im working on it, promise! take care xx

part 1 - part 2 - part 3

masterlist

I keep my word. I try my best to forget about all my worries and just… chill. I spend some quality time with my family in the remaining time of the year. I mostly just help Mom with everything around the house, I go grocery shopping with Dad on the evenings and I go ice-skating with Eric once. My nerves calm down, I don’t think too much about Shawn. We keep in touch in text though, I ask him if Maddi can come along and he assures I can bring anyone I would like.

Maddi returns on the 30th and I go back to the apartment that day too. I say goodbye to everyone at home and promise to visit sometime in January as well. Maddi is already there when I arrive, her suitcase is wide open in the middle of the living room.

“Hey!” she greets me with a wide smile when she walks out of her room. We exchange a quick hug before I bring everything into my room and just leave the bags on the floor. “So, are you excited?”

“Um, a bit, but it’s fine,” I shrug.

“Cool, I’m happy you are not stressing about spending New Year’s Eve with your future boyfriend.”

I roll my eyes at her, but she just giggles to herself poking my side gently. “Okay, I promise I won’t nag you about it, let’s just have a great time tomorrow.”

“That’s a plan,” I nod agreeing.

 We sleep until noon the next day knowing we wouldn’t be getting any sleep on the last night of the year. Getting ready with Maddi is like one big party. She has a playlist she always puts on, it’s full of jumpy, dynamic songs that are perfect to get you in the mood. She does my makeup using her magic skills and I end up with the most dramatic and perfect cat-eye I’ve ever seen. While she does her own I curl some light waves into my hair leaving it less bold, I definitely don’t want to look ridiculous with a too flashy look.

It’s past five when we get to the outfit part and by the time we are ready it’s surely time to leave. Shawn sent me the address earlier and it’s almost as far from our place as my home. So dressed in our partly fancy, partly cozy outfits we pile up into my car and leave.

I’m driving and Maddi is in charge of the music from my phone, so when I get a text she sees it before me.

“Oh, Popstar just texted!” She sings happily and I glance to her for a moment. “Can I open it?”

“Yeah, read it to me would you?”

“Okay, it says… Hey, just wanted to make sure you are still coming. You can park in the garage, can’t wait to see you. Ah, he is such a cutie!” She grunts in excitement but I just chuckle.

“Charlie, why are you so sceptic about him?” Twisting her body she looks at me questioning. I’m glad I have to focus on the road so I don’t have to look her in the eyes.

“I’m not sceptic,” I object, but I wouldn’t be able to say what I’m really doing.

“You are sabotaging yourself and I’m not a fan of it,” she continues. “I know Dylan screwed you over, but it has been years. Now this handsome, nice, successful Adonis is basically running after you, but I feel like you are ready to shut the door on him. Promise me you’ll be open tonight. Just go with the flow, let him charm you and let yourself fall for him a bit.”

I keep my mouth shut as a painful feeling wraps around my body, pulling me into my deep anxiety.

“But if I let myself fall for him a bit, I will fall hard. And I won’t be able to recover.”

“Recover from what? Charlie, if this guy screws you over I’m gonna do your laundry until one of us moves. I’m a hundred percent sure he is pure and perfect and I haven’t even met him!”

I don’t say anything, just keep my eyes on the road, escaping Maddi’s examining gaze.

“Charlie?” she calls out.

“What?” I snap letting out a tired sigh.

“Promise me! Please!”

“Okay, I promise. I promise that I will let him charm me,” I say grudgingly earning a round of applause from her.

Not that he hasn’t already charmed me, I think to myself, but decide to keep this small little detail to myself.

  Shawn’s place is… amazing, but I don’t know what I was expecting, he has the money to have a home like in a catalogue. It’s modern, has a lot of rooms, a huge kitchen and his TV could fit our TV in it like ten times. And the view is the most amazing thing about the whole place. I can clearly see the CN Tower through the window and there is a nice and comfy sitting area right at the window. I imagine him sitting there in the night, watching the lights of Toronto and playing the guitar.

I don’t actually meet Shawn in the first twenty minutes, but I do see some people from my high school and it’s making me feel weird at first. My high school years weren’t the best and because of Dylan I was quite a controversial person. Half of the people hated me for dating him and then the other half tried to be friends with me so they could get to Dylan, but since Dylan was such an asshole I never really made friends with anyone. Now they are weirdly staring at me from the distance, only a few of them actually dare to come up to me.

Maddi is having a blast, but I’m not even surprised. She has always been great at making friends, her nature is just simply so easy-going and open, she can charm anyone in a minute. We are chatting with a guy who graduated a year before me, I think his name is Chris, when I go to get a drink and actually look for Shawn. I make my way into the spacious kitchen that is filled with people, I look around but I don’t see him anywhere. I lean against the counter and pulling my phone out of my pocket I start typing a message to him, but I don’t get to finish it.

“Well, hello there, Charlie!”

Glancing up I find a smiley Shawn right in front of me, a Corona in his hand, his eyes beaming at me. I quickly forget about the message and curl my arms around his neck pulling him into a hug.

“Hey! I thought you are not even here!” I giggle sliding my phone into my back pocket and turning all my attention to him. He is looking amazing, as always wearing a khaki long sleeved shirt with black skinny jeans, his curls are messily framing his face and for a moment I feel like I need to run my fingers through them, but I control myself.

“Sorry, I’ve been all around the place.”

“It’s fine, you are the host,” I smile at him.

To his suggestion we take a shot as a welcome drink and then he hands me a beer just to start my evening properly. We stay in the corner of the kitchen talking, but mainly it’s just me listening to him and getting lost in his features.

I completely forget about Maddi and the drink I promised to get her and only remember it when she shows up in the kitchen. Her face is a bit upset at first but the moment she lays her eyes on the tall guy next to me she forgets about that drink completely.

“Hey there!” she chirps smiling, eyeing Shawn from head to toe.

“Um, Shawn this is my roomie, Maddi. Maddi this is-“

“Shawn Mendes,” she chimes in holding out a hand for him that he takes grinning.

“Nice to meet you, Maddi. I hope you are having a good time,” Shawn says handing her a beer as well which she takes gladly.

“It’s nice, you got an amazing place gotta admit.”

“Thank you. Though I’m not here that much.”

“I can housesit for you sometime. Anyway, I heard a lot about you lately.” Her eyes turn to me and I immediately feel myself blushing. She is not gonna bust my crush on him, right?

“Really?” Shawn’s eyebrows raise and he glances at me playfully.

“You know, I told her about our stressing reuniting,” I chuckle nervously and think about having another shot to make my anxiety go away. I’m truly fearing that Maddi will say something awkward in front of him and I really don’t want that.

“It was… surprising, yeah,” he chuckles nodding his head, causing a curl of hair to fall to his forehead. My eyes follow the shape of it until he combs it back with his fingers and catches me staring. I quickly turn away feeling my cheeks turn even redder than before, but luckily he doesn’t mention it.

“Mhm, and I heard about other stuff too,” she adds with a knowing look and God, I just want her to stop talking even though I love her to death. Shawn’s eyes shift between us as I dart her a deathly stare and she finally gives in. “Alright, I’ll look for that cute guy I’ve been eyeing, you two have fun. Charlie, text me if you need me,” she shrugs already turning away to search the place for the guy.

Shawn mumbles a bye to her before she disappears and we are alone, well, as much as you can be alone in a crowded apartment.

We stay in the kitchen, but privacy is not really a thing when you are hosting a party. People keep coming up to Shawn and being the sweet person that he is he doesn’t turn anyone down, but because of this I feel like I’m keeping him up. After all, I’m also just a guest and I shouldn’t own him from all his friends.

When he is talking to this guy he used to work with I decide it’s better if I look for Maddi and let him do his business for a while, hoping to get back to him around midnight, which is only an hour away. I grab my drink, a vodka soda he made for me and with an excusing smile I’m about to leave the conversation I wasn’t even part of, but his hand finds my wrist and he pulls me back. The force of the pull smacks me against his body a bit, giving him the chance to put his arm around my waist and giving it a gentle squeeze and honest to God, this is the smoothest move I’ve ever seen.

I’m blushing like a school girl, standing close to him with his arm around my waist and my smile is so wide I probably look like a fool. He keeps me by his side until the guy leaves and his hand doesn’t move even after that. Not like I would want it to, or like I would want to leave him, I’m feeling better than ever with him and at first I thought it’s just the alcohol, but I’m barely just tipsy, it’s all him.

Not much before midnight I excuse myself to the bathroom. We are sitting on his couch and he unwillingly but takes his hand off my waist so I can stand up, but before I could slip out of his hold he grabs my wrist and holds me back.

“You’re coming back, right? We only have twenty minutes until midnight.” His eyes are fixed on my face and I smile at him kindly as I place my free hand on his on my wrist and give it a squeeze.

“I’m coming back,” I tell him and he finally lets go of me.

There are two people waiting for the bathroom so I stand in line patiently. I keep checking the time making sure I don’t run out of it. I’m excited for midnight and I can’t even lie, I’m hoping Shawn feels the same. From the last few hours I’m guessing he is, but first I have to make sure to be there when the clock hits midnight.

When I finally finish my business I only have five minutes left. I make my way back to the living area looking for Shawn. Soon I spot him on the couch, almost where I left him and a smile spreads across my lips, but as I’m approaching it soon fades away when I see that he is not alone, and I know exactly who is sitting next to him, laughing along with him on something.

Lauren seems comfortable next to him, her long legs are crossed and her whole body is tilting in his direction. I remember what Shawn told me about their relationship, that he only dated her just to distract him, but seeing them so close and smiley is more painful that I would have expected it.

Suddenly I feel like I don’t belong here. Looking around I see all these people I used to see every day but I don’t even know them, and maybe I don’t know Shawn at all either.

The guests start buzzing as everyone realizes how close midnight is. The excitement is rising and everyone is finding the person they want to celebrate with while I push my way through them and with a glass of champagne someone hands me I exit to the balcony seeking some privacy.

As the glass door shuts behind me the chattering and music fades and the cold Toronto air hugs me around. The lights are still breath-taking, I step to the railing and stare at the CN Tower in the distance. I wrap my arms around my body trying to keep my heat, but it’s useless, though I don’t want to go inside just yet. Maybe I’ll just freeze to death here until Maddi finds me and we go home. Standing there I contemplate on everything that has happened to me in the past years. Seeing Shawn with Lauren really hit me hard, I guess I should have just listened to my brain. Maybe I’m upset because I feel like he lied to me when he said his relationship with Lauren was nothing. Maybe he said the truth but he has been rekindling it lately and it is something to him now. I never really knew Shawn and there is a chance I read the signs incorrectly, maybe he has been just extremely friendly all along. After all, he himself said that he is over his crush on me, I shouldn’t have let Maddi make me believe there could be something between us.

I can hear as the people start the countdown inside and I bring my glass to my mouth, getting ready to start the new year with the champagne, totally alone.

“Four!... Three!... Two!... One! Happy New Year!” Everyone chants inside as screaming and laughter follows the wishes.

I take a sip from my drink and just when I’m about to turn around and go back to escape the cold I hear he door opening and closing, then a familiar voice speaks up.

“You said you’d come back.”

When I turn around Shawn is standing there, his hands are in his pocket and he doesn’t seem too happy. I’m lacking the right words, I’m not sure why he is standing here, he should be making out with Lauren on the couch.

“I um… I just wanted some fresh air,” I say not really sure about what should be said. He walks closer and stops two steps away from me. He is so tall, but his features still amaze me even in the dim lighting. His silhouette is shining as the light is coming from behind.

“At midnight? Who wants to be alone at midnight?” he shakes his head with a confused chuckle. I just shrug my shoulder. No one wants to be alone at midnight, and that includes me as well.

“Charlie I-“ he starts but then just ends it with a sigh as his eyes roam around the city skyline before they return to me.  “I was hoping to celebrate the New Year with you,” he then says.

“Me? Why not Lauren?” I ask before I could think twice. He furrows his eyebrows.

“Lauren? What are yo- Charlie, you saw me with her and came out here to be alone at midnight?”

“No?” I say severely ashamed of this fact. It sounds dumb now that I heard it from him.

“She just came up to me while you were alone, but left before midnight to be with her boyfriend. Because she has one and she wants nothing from me, we’ve been friends since we broke up.”

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me, Shawn.”

“Yes I do. Because…” He pulls his hands out of his pockets and reaches for my free hand and takes it between his warm palms. I look down at our hands and up at his face as he takes a step closer to me. “Because I don’t want you to think I’m into anyone. Look, I’m terrible with talking about my feelings, I only write songs about them, but I can’t just start singing all the time,” he chuckles and it makes me smile too. My heart is pounding against my ribcage as I’m waiting for him to continue. “Remember when I told you I was over my crush on you?” he asks.

“Yes,” I nod shortly.

“I lied,” he straight up says making my suck my breath in. “Charlie, I still have the biggest crush on you. When you walking into our house at Christmas I knew I was screwed because I felt just the same as in high school even though I really thought I was over it. And then it just got worse because we started hanging out and you are such a sweet soul and so kind. By the end of our little nostalgia walk I was… head over heels in love with you again, or maybe I’ve always been, I don’t know. But what I know is that I really wanted to be with you midnight because I’ve been building up my courage to kiss you and you just ruined my whole plan,” he chuckles nervously and I can’t help but laugh with him. He really did just turn everything around in a few minutes.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin your plan,” I finally tell him earning a boyish smile that looks so good on him, I could just kiss him right away, but I give him the opportunity to take that first step himself.

“It’s alright. But I guess you owe me something now.” “Oh really?” I giggle biting into my bottom lip and he moans painfully.

“Oh my God, Charlie, stop biting your lip! It’s making me crazy, for real.”

“Sorry!” I laugh but when his large hands slide to my jaw and tilt my head upwards I immediately stop. He leans in, but stops right before our lips could meet.

He doesn’t say anything, just examines my face and I’m just about to ask him what’s wrong when he finally kisses me. I melt into his hands, his lips fit mine perfectly as they are moving against them slowly. I bring both of my hands to his wrists, wrapping my free one around his and because I’m still holding the champagne in my hands I can only brush my knuckles to his skin with my other hand. He is taking it slow, lazily nibbling on my bottom lip, taking his time savoring me and I’m perfectly fine with it. Moments pass by and we part when I jump from someone screaming inside. His face is still just a few inches away from me, his warm palms are on my cheeks.

“Why did you stop before it?” I question curiously.

“Because I let my high school self admire the moment he has been longing after since day one.”

His words melt me and instead of saying anything I just pull his head down and kiss him again. And again, and again…

  My fingers are drumming against the wheel as I’m rolling in the traffic, singing along the song blasting through my car’s speakers.

“Be my summer in a winter day love…”

The sun is beaming which is odd in the middle of February in Toronto, but I’m not complaining. The warm rays are caressing my skin and the smile on my face is wider than ever. As I reach my old neighborhood I let out a satisfied sigh. I park down on our driveway and grabbing my bag from the car I head to the front door.

“Hello! I’m home!” I sing loudly when I walk into the house. I spot dad on the couch, probably watching a documentary. He smiles at me widely as he walks over and hugs me.

“Hey Chipmunk, how are you?” he asks walking back to the couch.

“Everything is fine,” I smile. I head to the kitchen and find Mom at the stove and I can smell the chili from the doorway.

“Hey! Are you hungry? It’s almost done,” she says caressing my face when I stop next to her.

“Yeah, thank you.”

“Charlie!” Erik barks when he walks into the kitchen through the backdoor. We exchange a highfive and he immediately tries to sneak a spoonful of the chili, but Mom quickly smacks his hand away from the pot. “When do you want to leave?”

“Leave?” Mom asks lifting his head. “She just got here!”

“Not leave leave, we are going over to the Mendes house,” I explain and Mom’s smile immediately grows wide.

“Is Shawn back in town? Why don’t you invite him over for dinner?”

“Because we have dinner plans,” I chuckle at her enthusiasm. Her disappointment amuses me, she is really fond of the whole Mendes family.

First Aaliyah made my brother fall in love and become a more decent person we’ve ever thought he would turn out to be. Then dinner at their house at Christmas was nice, she found so much in common with Karen, Eric told me they met up twice since then. And the latest news of me and Shawn getting together threw her over the edge. When I told her a few weeks ago I thought she would start crying over the phone.

“I told you! I told you he would be great for you!” she told me with joy-filled voice and I just rolled my eyes, but I knew she was right.

Things has been going better than ever. New Year’s Eve changed everything, I went to Shawn’s place single but left taken by none other than one of the most famous singers in the world. To be honest I had my doubts and fears, but it turns out Shawn and I can make things work easier than I thought. We had our first official date two days after the party and had several since then, but we agreed on taking it slow. Meeting again was quite sudden and we have a lot to adjust in this new situation. He left Toronto two weeks ago and I haven’t seen him since then meaning we spent Valentine’s Day apart and this is why we are holding our own V-Day now. It’s an understatement to say that I’m excited to see him again, but spending time apart was actually kind of useful, because I started to get used to the fact that we can never be like other couples, his work will take him away a lot and until I finish school I can’t always go with him.

“Okay, but we have to have dinner together sometime, like an official thing,” Mom says bringing me back from my thoughts that are already a few streets away.

“It’s not like you haven’t met him,” I point it out but she shoots me a look.

“Yes, but you weren’t dating him then. I haven’t seen him since Christmas and I would love to have him over for dinner.”

“Okay, I’ll talk to him about it,” I sigh giving in knowing she won’t stop nagging me about it.

Eric and I leave soon to meet our spouses at the Mendes residency. I have never thought I would ever be going to my boyfriend’s house with my brother, or date my brother’s girlfriend’s brother. Or that I would date a famous person. Of course, Shawn is not like a celebrity for me, he is an old friend, someone I’ve known in the past, someone who I’m happy I met again.

“So… How are things with Shawn?” Eric asks breaking the silence between us as we are walking down the empty streets of our neighborhood.

“Um, good! I have to get used to a lot of things, but it’s going great.”

“Charlie, I have to tell you something,” he then sighs nervously making me look at him suspiciously.

“What?” In the blink of an eye millions of theories run through my mind about what he could be hiding, neither of them seems too great so my anxiety is slowly creeping its way up on my spine.

“You remember when I said I didn’t think you’d care about the whole Shawn is Aaliyah’s brother thing?”

“Yeah?!”

“Well, that wasn’t true.”

“Eric, what did you do?” I gasp completely blown.

“It’s not that big of a thing! But… Aaliyah might have known about his crush on you and she might have told me about it. The dinner was about to happen at another time but we convinced everyone it’s better if you and Shawn are there too, this is why it was held at Christmas, because that was the only date when both of you were home.”

“Eric! I asked you specifically about this and you acted like you knew nothing!” I gasp in total disbelief how my little brother and his girlfriend just played me.

“Don’t be mad, it all turned out well!” He laughs nervously and I guess he is right. If it wasn’t for their little plan I wouldn’t be with Shawn right now. I might have never knew how he felt in the first place.

“I’m not mad, but next time let me know when you want to set me up.” I narrow my eyes at him and he holds his hands up nodding.

“Promise!”

Arriving to the Mendes house Aaliyah welcomes us and invites in. Looking around I don’t see Manny or Karen anywhere which is odd. I thought they would enjoy an evening to themselves now that we are all going out tonight.

“They are not home,” Aaliyah tells me smiling as she is putting her coat on. “You should take your jacket off by the way,” she suggests and I look at her confused.

“Why? We are going out too.”

“No, we aren’t,” I hear Shawn’s voice coming from upstairs and a moment later he appears in a dress shirt tugged into his deep blue pants. He looks hot as always, and the smirk on his face is just irresistible.

For a moment I don’t even process what he just said, I’m more focused on him and seeing him again. When he reaches the last step he immediately wraps his arms around my waist pulling me close to him and kissing me. I cup his face in my palms as I kiss him back and savor his sweet lips. It takes a few moments for the pink cloud do disappear and then my brain finally starts functioning again.

“So what’s with us staying here?” I ask still a little dizzy from his lips. He smirks down at me pecking my nose before letting go of me.

“Come on, I’ll show you,” he smiles at me.

Aaliyah and Eric leaves and once Shawn closes the door behind them he takes my hand and walks me into the dining room where the table is beautifully set for two people, candles are lit in the middle and there are even rose petals all around the table. It’s straight out of a romantic movie and needless to say, no one has ever did such a thing for me. I turn to him in disbelief as his arms snake around my waist.

“I also cooked, it’s not the best, but I tried. Aaliyah helped a little,” he admits and I see his cheeks turn rosy.

“I’m sure it’s amazing,” I say caressing his cheeks.

As I look in his eyes for a moment I go totally speechless. I think about how different things would have turned out if I wasn’t that obsessed with Dylan, noticed Shawn from the beginning. He would have been my first boyfriend, my whole high school experience would have turned out better.

But right now all these doesn’t really matter. Because I look at him and I’m just happy we happened to meet again.

“Eric told me something interesting today,” I say. He hums and kisses my forehead softly. “Did you know him and Aaliyah worked together to get us meet again?”

He freezes mid movement and looks at me with furrowed eyebrows.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, apparently Aaliyah knew about your crush and they twisted everything to make Christmas happen with both of us present.”

“What? You gotta be kidding me!” he gasps with wide eyes. “How did she know about it?”

“I don’t know, but our siblings are master minds,” I chuckle and he nods laughing.

“Well, I gotta thank her though. If Christmas didn’t happen I would still be just longing after you and occasionally think about high school.”

“You were still thinking about high school because of me?” I ask raising my eyebrows at him.

“Honestly, yes. Not that much, but I still kept thinking about you. And now… I get to kiss you.” He leans closer and pecks my lips softly. “Whenever,” another kiss, “I want,” another one, “because you are my girlfriend.”

“Mhm, I am,” I grin at him in awe. “So, does this make me a celeb too?” I ask playfully, making his chuckle.

“Well, we haven’t made it official. Wanna do it now?”

“You mean you want to post a sloppy couple picture?”

“Exactly,” he nods.

“Well, I guess we have to take this step sooner or later.”

He pulls his phone out and I try to fix my hair to look presentable. Suddenly I think about the millions of people that will see this photo and I feel very insecure about my look. I keep running my fingers through my hair.

He wraps his hand around my wrist and stops me. I look at him and see a warm smile on him.

“Stop, you look amazing.”

“Uhuh, you have to say this, you are my boyfriend,” I arch an eyebrow at him, but he just rolls his eyes. “Maybe we shouldn’t take this photo, or just not post it, I don’t kno-“

His lips crash to mine stopping me from talking and honestly, this is the best tactic. I get lost in his lips, kissing him feels like paradise and I just never want to stop doing it. Though when I lean back I see that he has his phone held up.

“Shawn! Did you just sneakily took a picture?” I ask turning to the screen just to see a photo of us, very much lost in each other. I have to say it’s a good photo, my favorite of us so far. His defined jawline amazes me and I just want to turn back to him and kiss it.

“Mhmm,” he hums as he opens the photo in Instagram.

I watch him write the caption “from high school crush to girlfriend” and then tag me on the photo, but he doesn’t post it just yet. Instead he turns to me.

“I’m not posting it if you don’t want me to. I’m excited to share with the world how happy I am with you, but if you are not ready just tell me.”

I smile at him caressing his cheeks with my hands.

“Post it. I only care about your happiness.”

He smiles down at me stealing a short kiss before finally posting the picture. A wave of anxiety washes over me but then I calm down pretty quickly. I see the comments and likes flow in and for my biggest surprise it’s mostly positive. People are freaking out, but they also seem very happy to see us together. A lot of them are confused about who I am, but I’m sure they’ll do their fangirl magic and find everything out very soon.

“Well, I guess you are officially linked to me. Can’t run now,” Shawn jokes and I turn to him hugging his neck with my arms.

“I’m not a fan of running, so you are stuck with me,” I smirk at him before kissing his sweet lips. We soon forget about the chaos our photo just caused and just get lost in each other, happier than ever.

[cynicallystiles]

Celebrities Masterlist

Shawn Mendes:

Series

Beach Sunrises (Shawn Mendes x Reader)

After witnessing you having a personal moment on the beach during a sunrise, Shawn can’t get you out of his head. He’s devastated when he learns that you have no intention or desire to be in a regular relationship, let alone one with a celebrity. As you mutually decide to be friends, Shawn struggles to keep his feelings for you platonic. What he doesn’t know is that you’re struggling too. Will you give in to the emotions you feel around him? And what will the consequences for your heart be if you do?

Series Masterlist COMPLETED

Seasons of Love (Mendes Triplets AU: Raul/Shawn/Peter Mendes x OC)

Kallie Hayes and the Mendes triplets. They've been the best of friends since their ages were single digits. Now, they're all grown up with three years of university under their belts. For their last summer as young adults with no responsibilities, they decide to head back to the family cabin that housed so many of their fondest memories. But, with the announcement that the cabin is being sold in the near future, the Four Musketeers have to face the reality of growing up...and all the changes that come with it.

Series Masterlist

Two Parts or Less

Full Stop: Part 2 (Shawn Mendes x Reader)

Sins (Shawn Mendes x Reader)

Night Lover (Vampire!Shawn x Reader)

Sel’s Birthday (Peter x Sel, Kallie x Shawn)

Tom Holland:

Two Parts or Less

Pictures (Tom Holland x Reader)

Marry You (Tom Holland x NonBinary!Reader)

Melissa Benoist:

Mini-Series (3 Parts)

Odds: Part 2 Part 3 (Melissa Benoist x Fem!Reader)

Nick Robinson:

Two Parts or Less

Effortless (Nick Robinson x Reader)

[gentlemanmendes]

Beauty and the Beast 2:

Part 1:

part 2:

Walking through the village seemed like walking through a foreign place. The villages no longer treated her the same, they wanted to do everything for her, always greeted her with a curtsy, and eyes followed her everywhere. It didn’t help having the royal guards follow her every where she went, Prince Shawn had wanted her protected at all times when he wasn’t around to protect her.

This had been happening in the last four months of their engagement and with only one month until the wedding and with every day that brought the wedding closer she felt herself regretting her decision more and more. She was no longer entitled to privacy and had her every move watched, it felt more like a hazard than a privilege to be future crowned queen and the prince was no help to that. Shawn was definitely not the person she had once known and the more she got to know the new Shawn the more she wondered whether the old Shawn was just a figure of her imagination. He was a power hungry spoilt brat who got everything he wanted when he wanted, not to mention the fact that he didn’t care about anyone but himself. He hadn’t even bothered putting any effort into his relationship with y/n, the only times she had seen him was at dinners she ate at the palace with the king and queen.

Although y/n spent practically all her time at the palace with the wedding planning and learning the names of the other royals and important figures in the land to how to dance for a ball and conduct herself in front of the public she still chose to go home to her mother. The queen had suggest that they both move into the palace and would have their own quarters until the wedding but y/n had declined the offer. Her home was the only place she felt normal even though she now had the palace guards secured all around her mother’s home.

Having had enough with all the attention in the public eye y/n jolted to a stop causing her ‘baby sitter’ to almost run into her. Demetrius, her personal guard,  apologized for his mistake, even though it was y/n who had cause it, with a bow.

“I have changed my mind, I would like fresh air elsewhere.” Y/n stated. “Take me to the stables.” She hated acting like a snob but the royal advisor had instructed her that she must act superior so then people believed her to be superior. She was already facing an obstacle by not having been born into the crown, she now had to demanded respect.

“But you are to meet with the prince for an afternoon walk around the palace grounds.” Demetrius informed y/n causing her to mentally roll her eyes, she hated those walks they were silently and agonizingly painful. Shawn didn’t care for her nor did she care for him, they only took this time because the queen instructed them too.  

“Then give him word I have changed my plans and he can meet me at the stables.” She huffed as she got into her carriage. Demetrius informed the footman of y/n’s change of plans before getting into the carriage with y/n.

Once he had gotten y/n to the palace stables safely he left to inform Shawn of y/n’s where about.

As y/n rode she was beginning to lose control, she would give the horse a light kick here and there telling it to go faster, for the first time in a long time she felt in control of something yet again. From the moment she had agreed to marry Shawn she had been told not only what to do but who to be and she had grown tired of it. She now understood why as a kid Shaw had hated the throne. At the time she had thought of him as foolish, he had everything at his face and he didn’t want it, but now she understood why. It was a nightmare. A prisoner would have more freedom than she did.

Being so distracted in her own thoughts y/n hadn’t realized just how fast or how uneasy the horse she was riding was and before she knew it she was on the ground and her horse was galloping off into the woods that surrounded the castle.

“Are you alright?” A voice called from behind y/n causing her to let out a huff. She couldn’t even fall off a horse in peace, of course she had to have someone watching her.

She pushed herself off the ground before her spectator could come to her rescue.

“I’m fine!” She huffed attempting to dust off the dirt and grass stains off the sleeves of her pink and white gown refusing to look up to see who was seated on the horse that had just approached her.

“Are you sure, that looked like a nasty fall.”  The stranger pressed causing y/n’s temper to rise.

“I said I’m fine!” but when she looked up to see who the stranger was she regretted raising her voice. “David.” She breathed out in surprise now looking away sheepishly, embarrassed by her actions. David had been one of y/n’s closest friends growing up. His father had been the stable boy and now it seemed he was following in his footsteps. Y/n had good memories with David, he had filled the void that Shawn’s silent absence had left. David was only a few years older than y/n and although neither had actually mentioned it both had developed feelings for one another and had someday hoped to marry. But someday was no longer an option.

“ I feel as though I have failed as a teacher.” David chuckled as he got off of his horse. He had been the one to teach y/n  how to ride a horse in the first place, although she had never been very good at it to begin with.  "Why don’t you take Matilda, and I shall walk with you.“ He suggested gesturing to his horse. Without agreeing y/n got onto Matilda  allowing David to take the reins and lead her back towards the stable where Shawn would eventually be waiting.

At first it was silent and awkward but nothing new to y/n considering that was how most moments spent with her prince and soon to be husband were. But David broke the silence remind y/n of the time that they went exploring in the woods less than three years ago, at the time she was convinced she wanted to run away and live a life as a bandit in the woods, scavenging for food and stealing for the rich also known as her now future in-laws. It seemed odd that less than a few years ago she was more than prepared to live a life like that but now she was living a life that was the exact opposite.

Being with David made her feel good, he didn’t treat her defiantly the way everyone else did. He treated her the same way he always had. It made her feel warm and at home. It also reminded her of why she had liked David so much but she hadn’t seen him since the proposal. She couldn’t help but wonder what David had thought once he had heard the news, was he upset, did he think less of y/n? She was curious but her pride had gotten the best of her, she refused to care what he thought. She would soon be royalty and no one’s opinion of her would matter.

When they arrived at the stable y/n was surprised not only to be met with Shawn but a furious Shawn at that. His mood only seemed to worsen at the sight of David but when David bowed he seemed to ease a bit as though he was being reminded that he was superior to the man that had rescued his damsel in distress.

"I received note that you had fallen off your horse, I trust the animal will be put down as soon as it is found and all troubles will be undone.” Shawn informed y/n causing her eyes to widen in horror.

“No!” She and David cried out in response causing Shawn’s scowl to surface once again.

“I beg your pardon?” He spat in disgust, “Remember who you are speaking with, both of you.”

“Pardon me you highness but the animal in innocent.” David said with his head bowed refusing to meet his princes gaze.

“Don’t you have a stable to attend to, I could very easily find someone to replace you.” He spat causing David to scurry off in embarrassment sending one last longing look at Y/n as he left.

“That horse did nothing wrong, it was my fault and I’m not even hurt.” Y/n justified ignoring Shawn’s previous statement. She wasn’t going to let an innocent animal die because of her stupidity.

When Shawn didn’t respond y/n turned her back on him and stormed off in disgust. She was going to marry this cruel monster in a month. He was going to be the father of her children. The thought appalled her. Her children deserved a loving father who cared for them the way hers once had before her had passed. Her father had been the most admirable man in her life, that was what she wanted for her children but they wouldn’t have that.

“Why do I get the feeling you don’t like me.” Shawn called out after her once they were far enough from the stable to be classified as alone. With that y/n stopped in her tracks and turned to face him.

“Because I don’t. I despise you with every ounce of my body!” She seethed furiously taking Shawn by surprise. Y/n had always been well behaved and shown Shawn nothing but respect when they were together. This side of her was something new to him.  "You are cruel, arrogant, and self absorbed. You will never be fit to be king.“ y/n felt relief speaking what she had been dying to say to him since the day after her proposed.  

"Really? That is what you think of me?” Shawn didn’t seem offended at all by y/n’s accusations.“Then answer one question why are you marrying me?” He smirked causing y/n’s glare only to deepen.

“Shouldn’t that question be mine to ask.” Y/n shot back causing Shawn to stare at her curiously as if to tell her to continue because he was interested in what she had to say. “You could have any girl in the kingdom, or any other kingdom for that matter. Princess are lined up for you and you went against your parents blessing and chose me. ” Y/n elaborated. “Why?”

“Because. You don’t want the riches, or the power, nor the status. I know you have never cared about any of that nonsense which brings us back to my question, why are you marrying me?” Shawn was still smiling. He was okay with the fact that y/n didn’t love him, nor was she marrying him for any reason. This was bringing him satisfaction and it was making her feel worse.

“If I answer your question will you answer one of mine?” She negotiated.

Shawn gave an easy nod while mumbling 'anything for you my bride’ giving a small bow that somehow brought more comfort to y/n. Like Shawn had mentioned, y/n didn’t care for power but seeing him bow even if it was of mockery brought her satisfaction.

“Foolishness.” She shrugged easily causing Shawn’s brows to crease together.

“Elaborate.” He instructed causing her to roll her eyes but proceed.

“I was foolish to believe that the boy I knew was still inside you, why else would you propose to me.”

“And why was that foolish?” Shawn wondered although his frown told y/n that he was not at all impressed with her answer.

“Because I was wrong, that kind boy has been taken over by a beast.” Y/n was walking on broken glass with her behavior but at this moment she didn’t seem to care. Hell to it if she lost it all, so what if the kingdom would frown upon her and the royals would make her life hard, she didn’t care anymore, she was miserable now. Whatever they did to her at least she would finally be free again.

Y/n could tell that this had infuriated Shawn but he didn’t act upon it.  Instead he spat out “What is your question.” As if he wanted this conversation to finally be over.

“Why did you stop meeting me?” Although y/n hadn’t elaborated Shawn knew exactly what she was implying which was only making his mood worse. The Prince was known for having a temper that even put his father’s temper to shame.

“As you noted my future queen.” Shawn smirked effortlessly causing y/n’s confidence to falter. “A beast came over me.” And with that Shawn turned on the balls of his feet and walked away proud of himself for not having given in to y/n.

“Burn in hell you monster!” y/ screamed after him causing Shawn to jolt to an abrupt stop, turning yet again he stalked towards y/n with a dangerous grin on his lips as he reached for her causing her to flinch away by instinct although he didn’t lay a hand on her the way  she had expected. Instead Shawn took her hand and snatched the ring off her finger surprising her. She had expected him to storm off as he previously had but he didn’t. He remained in the same position towering over her while he turned the ring over between his thumb and index finger in a teasing matter.

“No.” He gave a dry chuckle as the word escaped his lips. “I can put you through more misery if we are married.” Shawn snickered in realization as he shoved the ring back onto y/n’s finger, all the confidence she had previously felt now long gone. “And don’t even try to run or do anything that might jeopardize this marriage because if you do I will have your mothers heart.” He watched as the horror took over y/n’s face at his threat before he happily walked away leaving y/n dumbfounded and proud of himself.

[flawlessakashawn]

october ‘18

part 1   part 2   part 4

a/n: this is the 3rd part of my mini series ‘move on’. i hope you like it and also if anyone know how to put a link in the mobile description pls text me. bc i’m bascially too stupid for that lol.  fake text inserted

genre: angst

21th october

Shawn,

i'm literally crying because of your message. We have this connection, i can feel that. I just needed that right now.

I didn't see you with that girl lately, so i guess you are free again.

It's been one month ago when things went even more bad for me, but i guess you've already witnessed it. Because everyone else did too.

I don't know what to text you to express my gratitude. Deep down you know how much your messages mean to me.

a/n: literally a lil short lol

[holdinbacksecrets]

In A Whisper 3

AN: Part 1 Part 2 Feedback would be lovely, as always! 

The third day and things are feeling easier. Easier in the way that I've finally taken a shower, and Emily doesn't have to ask if I've already eaten. I didn't wake up in the middle of the night, feeling the emptiness on my fingertips, imagining all the nights I was lucky enough to have Shawn's arms wrapped around me. I wasn't ready to lose that. I never thought I would.

I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. The warm, morning light piercing in catches my skin. My eyes close and I take a deep breath. Count to 10, hold it, let it out. I haven't used a breathing technique in years. My anxiety has been so much better. I've made progress I've never imagined, but I guess it wasn't because I've changed...

When my phone rings I feel myself forget about the breathing. My heart beat picks up again and I quickly reach for my phone on the bedside table. Don't expect it to be him. But it is.

My thumb touches the green button, and the phones against my ear. My head feels dizzy, palms sweaty.

I hear the breath of relief, as if he expected me to ignore him. I'd think he knew me better than that.

"Y/N" and just like that I'm undone. I try to rub away the goosebumps, and bite back the smile. I'm angry. I'm miserable. I'm confused, but there's nothing like the way he says my name.

"Hi," my voice is barely a whisper, caught in the back of my throat. I want to cough, but I don't want to miss what he'll say next. So I swallow my nerves, and sit up. And then I'm standing, and pacing the dark, wooden floors, bare against my toes.

"Would you let me see you?" It took him so long to reply, deciding the perfect way to break down my walls. Shawn's no stranger to the barriers that hold me in my woes.

"Is that what you want?" Am I stupid for wanting you? For needing you? For imaging the way-

"All I know is that we need to talk."

I'm sitting in the middle of the room now: cross legged, heart suddenly sinking, simultaneously as my stomach lurches. I can't pretend like those words sounded hopeful. I can't lie to myself, imaging that behind the distance is need. Because I've had that phone call before. I've had him laid out to me entirely, feeling his pain, feeling him terrified to lose me. And this, sounds nothing like that one did.

"We do." I'm wishing I hadn't answered. I'm resenting giving in so easily. Maybe I should've played this out better. Made him miss me. When I woke I thought, maybe I can do this. Maybe I can move on, even without the answers. I'm strong, yet I feel like a bird, trying to fly with a broken wing.

"I can pick you up at 11? Are you still with Emily?"

"Y-ya, I'm with Emily. 11 sounds fine. I'll see you then."

"I wan-"

But I hang up. Because I'd rather save myself from letting him hear the sound of my heart being ripped open, and the tears, the tears that aren't silent. I'd rather save myself than ever know what Shawn was about to say. Even as a whisper.

"Babe? Are you ok?" Emily's voice is a sweet melody, dripping in concern, but not laced in pity.

I can feel her presence next to my body, but I don't dare look up. Seeing her bright eyes will only make me cry harder. Emily just wraps her arms around me, as I feel her heart beat.

Emily texts Shawn, cancelling for me. She comes back to the couch with a bowl of popcorn and a trio of our favorite movies.

"Would you like to choose the first film of the night?" Emily holds up the options and I can't fight back the broken laugh.

"Do you even have to ask?"

"The Wedding Date it is."

Flashback

Shawn

This morning when I wake up, the space where y/n would usually lie is empty. My fingers graze the sheets, making out the imprint of where her body had been hours ago.

I know why she's getting up early. I know it's because of me. I can't blame her, and the worst part is knowing I'm the reason she's feeling this way. I'm the reason her eyes are rimmed with red. I'm the reason why tears have stained her cheeks. I'm the reason why when I come home she doesn't speak to me. She waits to see how I'm feeling, deciding if it's worth wasting her breath.

I wish she was still asking the questions, but they've stopped too.

Is it me?

Did I do something?

Please Shawn...I never wanted to hurt you.

You know that I love you, right? With everything I have.

I know, I want to tell her. I want to scream the words. Explain that I don't know why this is happening to me, why now, why this.

Imagining her next to me won't bring her back, so I get up, and walk out of our bedroom. I'm surprised to find my girlfriend sitting on the couch. Even though she doesn't say good morning, or even look up from her bowl of cereal. All she does is bring another spoonful to her mouth, staring back at the wall.

My feet carry me to the living room, and I take a seat, as far away from her as possible. Not as much for me, but for her.

I want to hold you. God, I miss you. I can smell your shampoo from here.

"I know this isn't fair- how I've been treating you." She shakes her head, setting the bowl down on the coffee table, and it's clear her appetite is gone.

"I can't sit back and accept being shut out. I'm a big girl, Shawn. I promise, no matter how bad it is- if it even is something- I can handle it. I want you to let me decide how to feel. Instead of you deciding for me and leaving me feeling unwanted."

Her chest rises and falls rapidly, the vein, the only one I've seen in her neck, presses against her dewy skin.

"I'm-you're not unwanted." I've never sounded so broken, and I know she hears it too. She hears the emptiness. She sees the distance placed in front of us nakedly. She feels the tension in the air, and I know, after all these years, when she needs me- My arms around her, whispering the words that make her melt- can fix everything. And here I am. Sitting on the opposite side of the room, hearing my heart beating in my ears, while sweat beads on my forehead. The voice in my head telling me I can't be here.

It's too much. You can't do this. She doesn't care. She never did.

And my keys are in my hands, my palm clutching the door handle.

Her hand touches my shoulder. Her lips brush the fabric of my shirt. I try to fight the rigid mess that my body is becoming. I try to ignore the voice, telling me to go. Telling me I can't hold her. I can't apologize and try to explain how I feel, how badly I need her.

"Shawn, please, let me in."

"I'm sorry. I can't." I love you. I'm sorry that I've abandoned you, us. I hope one day you'll be able to forgive me.

The door opens, but I'm too afraid to look into her eyes. To finally see what giving up on someone looks like. When you care so much, but there's nothing you can do to convince them to let you in. The promises of never leaving, no matter what, crumbles too.

@greenarrowhead wanted to be tagged, and if anyone wants to be added to this brand new tag list for future posts lmk!

[ourfavcanadianshawn]

in progress!

“coup de fourde,” some will say

|part one

|part two

|part three

[not-a-fever-dream]

It's going to be a mini series. My soft heart. 💖

Of Course I Do

Moments: A Mini Blurb Series

I know. I know. This isn’t what you were expecting me to post, but I’m deep in my feels right now. Unedited for now. Either way, I hope you guys enjoy. 

To say you were comfortable is an understatement when the two of you have been nestled on the couch since noon. Not sure what time it is, but the sun still spills into the condo, bathing everything in its path. The two empty plates from brunch still sit on the coffee table. They should go in the sink, you think. Should. But neither one of you care enough to do it. You’d rather lay content on the couch with Shawn’s arm wrapped around your waist while he spoons you. His warm breath tickles the side of your neck with each exhale and for a moment you think he’s asleep. That is until you feel the rumble of his laugh radiating throughout your back, laughing at something you clearly missed on the TV.

He’s nothing but warmth and home that you’ve been missing out on for months. And while all the phone calls and texts made do, they just don’t compare to being in the comfort of his arms. It’s safe to say that it’s a relief to have him back. Not just for a few days, but for a solid amount of time. (At this point, however, you’ll take what you can get.) In the meantime, you don’t wake up in an empty bed anymore and you’re grateful. 

Keep reading

[watchmegetobsessed]

Crush // Shawn Mendes mini-series part 1

okay so wow ummmm i started writing this sometime before christmas so it’s set at that time, idk i just had this idea about this story and went for it. it’s not gonna be long, not like a million parts, probably maximum five, im writing the very end of it now so i thought i would start posting it and im also trying to makeup for not bringing a new boundaries chapter lol but that’s also coming i swear!!! anyway, enjoy this short story of mine, i hope you’ll like it!!

masterlist

Christmas is always the same for me. I come home a few days before, spend most of my time on the couch watching reruns on my favorite series, I watch my younger brother, Eric come in and out of the house as he keeps meeting up with his friends, being a popular kid. I eat basically everything I can find in the kitchen and just… forget about the world. Then we have family dinner at our place with all my uncles, aunts and cousins, the house turns into a chaos for one evening and then being so selfless I help Mom clean the mess up in the morning while Dad is sleeping his hangover off, because as a host, he must have a drink with every guest. Then we watch Home Alone together and boom, Christmas is already over.

This year, I expect everything to be the same when I throw my suitcases in my old Honda Civic and head home for the holidays.

“Charlie, your family literally lives forty minutes from here, but you pack like you can’t come back if you forget something.”

I roll my eyes at Maddi’s comment. Looking up at her I just stick my tongue out as I close the trunk of my car. She is shivering, because she didn’t bother to put on her coat to help me bring my stuff down. Her long brown hair is all over her shoulders, and she has some mascara on her cheeks, probably from last night. She never cares what she looks like at home and that’s the kind of people I like to surround myself with. I’m always a hot mess at home and I just don’t get those who try to look fine when at home.

“Have fun at your sister’s,” I tell her hugging goodbye. She is leaving to New York tomorrow morning to spend the holidays at her sister who just got married this year and insisted on having their family gathering in their place this year.

“They’ll have booze, so I’m fine,” she scoffs. She is not always this grumpy, she is just not in the mood to fly to NYC on one of the busiest days of the year.

“Alright, see ya next year!” I wink at her getting into the car. She steps aside and waves for me as I leave the small parking lot of our apartment complex.

I sing along with Adam Levine while listening to some Maroon 5 on my way to the house where I grew up. I moved out after high school. Not because I hated living with my family, but I felt like this is a step I should be taking at that age. The start was rocky, I had my ups and downs, but all in all I didn’t regret it. I met Maddi, she moved to Toronto from Ottawa and was looking for someone to share a flat with. I was hesitant to live with a stranger, but we soon became best friends and I was eager to have new people in my life after my graduation. This is how we ended up together.

My heart warms as I turn into our old street. I loved living here, I have a lot of good memories from my childhood and I’m thankful I don’t have anything to complain about regarding my younger years.

I park next to my mom’s car and when I get out I see the curtains move in the window of the living room. A moment later the door opens and my dad walks out holding his arms out for me.

“Chipmunk! Hi!” he greets me with a wide smile and I basically get lost in his arms. He is so much taller than me, I look like an elf next to him. I inherited my mom’s height so I stopped at 5’6, have been that tall since I was sixteen. My brother, on the other hand, the little devil is 6’2 at fifteen, turning sixteen soon. Life is unfair, I could be a model with legs to live for if only my DNA took more from my dad.

“Hi Dad. You smell like cookies,” I chuckle. Letting go we both go to the trunk to get my stuff from the car.

“Because your mother is trying to turn the house into a gingerbread house,” he sighs grabbing both of my suitcases and we head inside.

“Why? She hates gingerbread.”

“Because your brother has his girlfriend over and she is trying to make everything so festive,” he says rolling his eyes as we finally get inside. I furrow my eyebrows in confusion.

“Girlfriend? Since when does Eric has a girlfriend?” I gasp feeling pretty much left out. No one told me Eric is dating a girl, but they keep updating me about the tiniest stuff in the group chat, like how a cat crossed the backyard last week. Who cares! I want to hear the tea about Eric’s love life!

“About three months. She is nice though, but your mother goes crazy every time she is over.”

“Three months? I’m offended, dad.”

“I thought he already told you!” he defends himself setting my stuff down.

“Charlie!” My mom comes barging out of the kitchen in the apron she got for Christmas a few years ago. Embracing me in a tight hug she kisses my forehead. “Are you hungry? We have some leftover carbonara, but I haven’t started making dinner yet. I’ve been cooking all day.”

“I heard you are into gingerbread lately.”

“Yeah, you want some? It turned out pretty good,” she smiles at me tugging her short blonde bob behind her ears. Her blue eyes are shining like a diamond, she is always so happy to have me home. It was a bit hard on her, watching her first kid leave the house, Eric said she kept checking in on him in the night the first month after I left. She got used to it by now, but she is always treating my arrival as a celebration, though I come home pretty often, namely to every birthdays, their anniversary, Easter, Christmas and a whole month in the summer, but I guess it’s not enough for her.

“Eric! Charlie is here!” she shouts upstairs for my brother. “So, hungry?” she asks again.

“Yeah, I could eat.”

We all move into the kitchen as my mom warms up a plate of pasta, Dad tests the gingerbread and I assume he doesn’t taste anything for the first three times, because he keeps eating it.

“How is Maddi? Is she going home for the holidays?” Mom asks handing me the food and getting back to decorating the rest of the gingerbreads.

“She is going to New York to her sister, Lara.”

“The one that got married this summer?” she asks.

“Mhm,” I hum with my mouth full.

I hear footsteps on the stairs and I quickly swallow the pasta, not wanting to look like a chipmunk when I meet Eric’s girlfriend for the first time. Take a guess why my dad calls me Chipmunk, I’m a full-face eater.

“Chipmunk!” Eric laughs walking into the kitchen. I roll my eyes at him.

“Shut up,” I spat. Standing up we exchange a quick side hug, this is the most we ever do. The moment I let go of him I see a girl walk in behind him.

She has long brown hair parted on the side, she is almost taller than me, the nice knitted turtleneck dress she is wearing was a great choice, it allows Eric to gape at her figure, but the turtleneck makes it more conservative for my parents. Smart girl.

“Charlie, this is my girlfriend, Aaliyah. Aaliyah, this is my sister, Charlotte.”

I hop off the stool and hold out a hand for her that she takes with a smile.

“Hi, I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“Oh really? I hope you didn’t believe everything this dummie told you,” I scoff looking at Eric.

“Don’t worry, from what he told me about you he is obsessed with you,” she winks at me making Eric’s eyes go wide.

“What? No I’m not!”

Aaliyah steps closer to him hugging his waist with a bright smile on her face.

“Oh, don’t be shy, on our first date you mentioned her a million times. It’s okay, baby,” she giggles to herself making me instantly love her. Roasting Eric together can be our thing!

“Eric, it’s okay to love your sister to death,” I chime in enjoying the situation more than I should be, probably.

“Aaliyah, are you staying for dinner?” Mom asks smiling at her and offering her some gingerbread. She shakes her head no but takes a cookie.

“No, my brother is also coming home tonight, so I have to go home. But thank you.”

“Oh, okay.” I can tell she is disappointed that she has to go. I guess Mom loves Aaliyah, and from what I saw I can’t blame her. In fact, she might be too good for Eric!

We all stay in the kitchen while I finish my late lunch. I chat with Aaliyah finding out that she and Eric go to the same school, the school I also attended, and that she and Eric have math together. Aaliyah tutored Eric for one of the tests that ended up with him asking her out and the rest is history. She is very nice, well-mannered and pretty mature, that’s why I don’t know how well it all sits with my immature, ass little brother’s persona. Okay, I might exaggerate, he can be fine. Sometimes.

“I’m really sorry, but I have to head home now. But that you for everything, Mrs. Parker and see you on Tuesday, right?” Aaliyah nicely says standing up from the table.

“What is on Tuesday?” I ask.

“Oh, I forgot to mention, we are having dinner at Aaliyah’s with her family, is that alright, Chipmunk?” Mom caresses my cheek and I just shrug. Not that I have any special plans for the holidays.

“I thought we are having the usual family dinner.”

“Oh no.” Mom shakes her head. “We are skipping that this year. Aunt Mary and Lance are in Switzerland, your cousins Harry and Donald are too occupied with their studies, or that’s what they say. And then…”

“Okay, I get it. Everyone I busy,” I cut her off chuckling. “Then, dinner sounds good. Hey, Aaliyah, do you need a ride home?” I offer, but she shakes her head no putting her coat on with Eric right behind her.

“No, it’s good, I live two streets down, Eric will walk me home.”

My brother nods approvingly putting his own coat on. Wow, he is whipped! Good job, Aaliyah!

“It was nice meeting you!” I smile at her.

“You too, Charlotte!” She waves goodbye, and they leave.

   This year’s Christmas is starting off just the same. I watch Brooklyn 99 during the day, work on a paper that is due to after the holidays and just casually hang out with my parents and Eric. The only thing that is different that Eric always has his phone in his hands, texting Aaliyah non-stop.

On the 25th I help Mom make come cookies that we can bring over for our dinner invitation, and she asks me about my love life, as per usual.

“So, have you been on any dates lately?”

I can’t help but roll my eyes as I hand her over the milk.

“Not really,” I admit sighing. Not because I’m sad I haven’t, but because I’m tired of these questions. I’m twenty, I still have time, it’s not like I’m supposed to get married anytime soon.

“I really wish Dylan didn’t turn into an ass.” She shakes her head and I scoff.

“He didn’t just turn into one, he was always one, he was just good at fooling people.”

Dylan Sanders, aka my only ex-boyfriend. I dated him from the age of fifteen until I almost turned eighteen. It’s a long time, and I’m kinda ashamed it took me so long to realize how big of an ass he really is. The pink clouds made me blind, but fortunately, it cleared up at one point and I successfully ended our toxic relationship. Too bad this point was after I ruined all my friendships because of him and ended up on my own when we ended things. This is one of the reasons I was excited to start a new life at the university, make new friends and just stop being Dylan Sanders’ girlfriend.

“Hey, maybe Aaliyah’s brother is nice. How amazing it would be if you dated him!”

Seeing her dreamy eyes I start laughing.

“Mom! I haven’t even met him, but I know you are already planning our marriage. Stop it, please.”

“Aaliyah is pretty great, I’m sure her brother is alike her.”

“Whatever, just please don’t make it awkward,” I plea. She just waves in dismiss.

 I talk to Maddi right before it’s time to leave. I’m finishing up my makeup as the phone is laying in front of me with her on speaker.

“I’m serious. Nothing is more embarrassing than being the drunkest at a family gathering,” she moans painfully.

“Maybe you learnt your lesson now,” I chuckle fixing my mascara.

“Not really. Chapter 2 comes tonight, my cousins are arriving and they are hardcore drinkers.” She sighs tiredly. “Whatever. So, dinner tonight at Eric’s girlfriend’s? How is she?”

“She is cute. Almost too good for my stinky brother, but they look cute, it’s like a puppy love.”

“Aw, that’s the best! Well, I’m interested in the details so text me when you get home.”

“Will do.”

“Charlie! We are leaving!” I hear mom shouting from downstairs.

“Gotta go, talk to you later,” I quickly say before ending the call.

I stand up and check myself one last time in the mirror. I chose to wear a mustard colored knitted jumper with a pair of black jeans and silver hoops in my ears. I grab my phone from the table and join my family downstairs.

Aaliyah really lives close to us, we don’t take the car, just walk and we arrive in about ten minutes. It’s a nice two story house, kinda typical around here.

“Please don’t embarrass me, okay?” Eric asks us right before ringing the doorbell. The kid is too in love.

Aaliyah opens the door for us in a nice nude dress and she kisses Eric on the lips shortly before we all walk in.

“Mom!” She shouts while we are taking our coats and shoes off and a blonde woman appears soon in the hallway.

“Hi! So good to have you here!” She greets us with a wide smile. “I’m Karen, and this is Manny, my husband,” she introduces herself and the man who joins us in a moment.

“I’m Evelyn, this is George and Charlotte, Eric’s sister,” Mom introduces us and we all shake hands.

As we walk into the living room where there are wineglasses waiting for us I remember that Aaliyah has a brother. Just when I realize this I hear another male voice behind me.

“Oh, and this is our son, Aaliyah’s brother,” Karen gestures towards the door and I turn around just to have my jaw drop to the floor. “Shawn.”

Shawn Mendes is standing there, shaking hands with my parents and Eric and when his eyes find me he is just as shocked as me.

“Um, hi. I-I assume we already know each other,” he mumbles stepping closer and I shake his hand very shortly. I can’t believe he is Aaliyah’s brother, how did I not see the resemblance?

“Yeah. Hi,” I say nervously and Karen gives us a confused look.

“How do you guys know each other?”

“We-“ I start, but Shawn cuts me off.

“Mom, you remember my friend, Dylan from high school? Um, Charlotte dated him for a few years,” he says uncomfortably and I feel the same.

Shawn and Dylan were best buds when we started dating. They hung out all the time and I was trying my best to be on good terms with him as well. I wanted to be friends with Dylan’s friends so badly, but Shawn… He always seemed to hate me. No matter how friendly I tried to be he was always pretty rigid and weird with me, often avoiding to be in the same room as me and he also had a few quite hurtful comments that I tried to shake off for the sake of my relationship. Oh, and the worst was when he made an attempt to break us up telling Dylan lies about me.  Thinking back at it now I wish he succeed, but it was still an asshole move from him, working so against me all that time, I wish I stood up for myself, but I was so into Dylan I was willing to put up with everything, even a mean best friend.

I haven’t seen him since about, tenth grade, when he became a private student to purchase his dreams and become a singer. Dylan kept in touch with him for a while, but I think they eventually stopped talking at one point.

“For two and a half years, to be exact,” I add bitterly.

“Oh! Wait, you are…” Karen starts, but Shawn gives her an unreadable look and she quickly gets quiet. “Never mind.” I raise my eyebrows seeing the scene, it’s quite odd. What did she want to tell me about? Did Dylan tell her stuff about me when he was still friends with Shawn?

I keep thinking about it as we have a nice glass of wine and move over into the dining room where the table is already set. The two families take place around the oval shaped dining table, I have my mom on my right and Eric on my left and I’m so lucky to have Shawn right across me, staring at me, making me quite anxious.

This is too uncomfortable, I think to myself. I try my best to ignore his gaze on me, and I mostly focus on Karen and Manny. They are extremely nice though. The dinner is amazing, the parents seem to hit it off immediately finding all the common things. Aaliyah and Eric seem to be satisfied, while I just sit there, ignoring Shawn’s eyes on me.

“And Shawn, which university are you studying at?” Mom asks making Eric laugh and she gives him a confused look. “What?”

“Mom, Shawn is…” Eric starts, but I cut him off before I could even stop myself from talking.

“He is a singer, Mom.”

“A singer? Like, a famous one?”

“He was voted as one of the most influential people this year,” Eric informs her and her eyes go wide. In the meanwhile, Shawn is just sitting there with a shy smile on his face.

“I’m sorry, I’m not really good with these stuff.”

“It’s fine. But, yeah. I don’t go to school. What about you, Charlotte?”

I can’t help but cringe how he calls me Charlotte, again. He did this in the past even though I hated being called Charlotte. I had this obsession to be a tomboy and though Charlie sounds better with my image. Now I don’t mind it, but still, most people call me Charlie, and he knows it, I think.

“I- Um… I’m a student at the University of Toronto. I study literature.”

“Oh, that sounds lovely! How much do you have left?” Manny asks clearly interested in my education.

“One year.”

“And what are you planning after?” Shawn suddenly asks and I’m surprised he is interested in anything in connection with me.

“Um… I don’t know just yet,” I mumble feeling nervous in the center of attention.

“Don’t be silly, Charlie!” Mom starts rolling her eyes. “Charlie is already working on a project for a book publisher. They are working on a book especially for sick children that has stories with characters with illnesses or disabilities.”

“That sounds amazing!” Karen cheers looking at me proudly and I can feel myself blushing.

“So you are still very generous,” Shawn comments and I look up at him with furrowed eyebrows.

“Still?” He shakes his head clearing his throat as if he just realized what he said.

“Um, yeah. Dylan used to tell me how much you volunteered and stuff…” he mumbles with his eyes fixed on his plate.

Oh, so he and Dylan talked about me and he still remembers it? That’s quite surprising, I thought he forgot about me as soon as he set his foot outside of Toronto. He never seemed to be interested in anything about me.

After dessert the table breaks up. Karen and my mom starts bringing the tables back to the kitchen, Manny and Dad move to the living room and Shawn disappears somewhere. Aaliyah is helping in the kitchen while Eric is just about to join the dad section, but I pull him to the side in the hallway.

“Why didn’t you tell me Aaliyah’s brother is Shawn Mendes?” I hiss at him, but he just gives me a puzzled look.

“Why do you care? I thought you are not a fan of these celebrities.”

I roll my eyes at him.

“Yeah, but a heads up would have been good, and if you told me who he is, I would have gotten ready to meet him. We weren’t really the best of buds in school.”

“Okay, and how would have I known? I was eleven when you and Dylan got together, even if you told me about Shawn, I wouldn’t remember it for my life. And besides, what is your problem with him? He is cool and nice.”

“Now he is, but he was an ass when I was dating Dylan.”

“Okay, well… that’s the past. Get yourself over it.”

He pats my shoulder before walking away. I growl in annoyance, because he is right, he couldn’t have known my past with Shawn. I don’t think I shared anything with him back then, it was way before our relationship matured and could actually talk without getting into a fight on the floor. All siblings need time to get over this phase. Ours ended sometime right before I moved out.

I rub my face to pull myself together and turning around I’m about to go after Eric and join the conversation in the living room, but then Shawn appears on the stairs and I stop.

“Hey,” he quietly says and I nod at him awkwardly. I have no idea how to deal with this situation. “So… I know, it’s awkward after all these years.”

“Yeah, it is,” I chuckle with a grimace.

“Are you… How are you and Dylan these days?”

“I have no idea how he is. After we broke up in senior year I saw him once. Two years ago at McDonald’s with some blonde chick.”

“Why did you two break up?” he asks it nosily. I find it pretty weird to stand here, at the Mendes house’s hallway with Shawn Mendes and talk about my breakup with my high school sweetheart.

“Um… He cheated on me with Kristi Burgess.”

“Ouch,” he frowns. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” I shrug. “I cried for about a month, but I guess I’m over it now,” I say jokingly and he also cracks a smile.

There is a short silence that is rather awkward, I don’t know if I should say something, or just walk away, but he is the first one to speak up.

“Listen. I know I was quite the asshole back in high school and I’m sorry for that. I’ve matured, I changed and I thought that maybe… we could start over. I haven’t talked to Dylan in years either and I was acting like a douche because I thought it was impressing him. I was so stupid.”

I can relate to that. Dylan had this power over people, he could make them want to satisfy him and make him impressed, but it’s all bullshit.

“This sounds great. Let’s forget about everything in connection with Dylan,” I offer and he smiles at me nodding.

“Deal. Well, it’s nice to see you again, Charlotte.”

“Okay, as a starter, you could finally call me Charlie,” I tell him chuckling.

“Yeah. Sorry, I guess I’m used to calling you Charlotte,” he apologizes. “Charlie, why don’t we join our families for another drink maybe?”

“Sounds like a plan,” I nod and I follow him into the living room.