#shame he turned out to be a genuine love interest for Mary but I guess if it shuts her up it's worth it

[eolewyn1010]

When I first saw the introduction of the character of Henry Talbot - sorry, but I was convinced he was gay. He's dragging this Mr Rogers guy all over the country with him! Why do you have a guy sitting next to you in your hot sports car, someone who's calling you by your first name even in stuffy aristocratic company no less, if he ain't your boyfriend?

And let me tell you: If Mary High And Mighty Entitled To Everything had developed a crush on a gay guy, I would have had a field day with that.

[i-was-a-teenage-eldritch-horror]

okay so how do u feel about how the main female characters were handled in 4.0

This is going to be loooooong.

Firstly, I want to say that the fanservice was just godawful. Pedophilic, hamfisted, gross, and just plain annoying. The only adult characters who were subjected to anything resembling the female pilot's treatment were Midori and Sakura (who are in their early 20s if my math checks out). None of the adult women were subjected to the same type of fanservice as the pilots. It raises the question of...well, who's the intended audience here? It's especially jarring since there was like, almost none in 3.33. So I won't be discussing the fanservice in each of the character sections. Just know that I hate it universally. Also, people who fervently deny that asuken and marishin were romantic in this movie are on nuclear levels of copium. Obviously you don't have to (and shouldn't, to be frank,) ship it, but it's clear that hetero endgames were intended.

1. Ritsuko

I don't have any complaints here. I guess I wish she had more screentime. I liked her scenes with Misato, but their conversations felt a bit more stilted that how you would think friends of 25 years would speak to each other. I liked that she got to shoot Gendo.

Her new VA wasn't much to write home about. It was still a good performance, but Mary Faber's rendition of Ritsuko wasn't as deep or womanly a voice as Sue Ulu or Colleen Clinkenbeard's were. It took some adjusting, but she's definitely growing on me.

2. Misato

Kaji junior, as a concept, was actually genius and makes perfect sense. Tons of parallels were drawn between her and Gendo even in the original series so it's apt that she would become a deadbeat parent like he was. It's tragic yet fitting. Her being devoted to Shinji over her own son sadly makes a lot of sense. Additionally, it fucking sends me to think that she was pregnant at the end of 2.22!

I don't like how she swapped back to her old hairstyle during the climax, though. It doesn't make a lick of sense.

Also, her turning into the Spear of Gaius was dumb and misogynistic as hell. It's the "boy gets rewarded with woman's body" trope taken to its logical extreme. Like Soul Eater if it was unimaginably, violently misogynistic.

3. Mari

For the most part, I liked Mari in Thrice Upon a Time. She was the closest to an actual 3D character as she's ever been, and I found myself really liking her and getting excited when she was on screen. Her fight in Paris at the beginning of the movie was exciting and fun, probably the best part of the movie.

VERY weird, however, that she knew Shinji when he was a baby and then became his love interest. Like genuinely what the hell was that. The reveal that her given name is Mary Iscariot was also weird, but honestly I liked it. It was cheesy and bad in a fun way, unlike the rest of the movie. Obviously her surname being "Iscariot" is a reference to Judas and how she betrayed Gendo and Fuyutsuki, but I looked it up and apparently Iscariot is an actual surname. However, according to one website I looked at, it's so rare that only four people in the entire world are documented as bearing it.

It's also funny that Mari being British is like, never explicitly confirmed or referenced in these movies. Outside of cursory references to British folklore (her first eva being a quadruped, wielding a jousting lance, and slaying a reptile-like creature), it literally doesn't matter and is never brought up. In 2.22 there's this scene where she's like "wow it's such a shame that I have to use these adults for my agenda," and it's like...girl, what's your agenda?!?! Explain!

4. Asuka

The asuken thing was offensive on every level. I would be able to buy that they were just buddies IF Asuka wasn't walking around naked in front of him and if he wasn't in the doll at the end. As it stands, though? The vibe is definitely shippy, and it's disgusting. I mean, swap out Kensuke for Mari in the doll scene and everyone would recognize it for what it is. Speaking of asumari...

The asumari bait in this movie is also gross. Not because it's asumari, but because it's bait. We have all these scenes of Asuka and a flirtatious Mari, and for what? For Marishin to be endgame? For Kensuke to be a pedophile? For Asuka to be alone at the train station at the end? Fuck, I don't even like asumari. It makes me feel like I'm losing my marbles. But still. They got done dirty in this movie.

Moving on, Asuka's death in this movie actually shook me a lot more than I thought it would. It's way spookier and eerie than her death in eoe. To be honest, I've always been a "Bardiel is in Asuka's eye, and that's why she has the eye patch" theory denier because, to be frank, I didn't have faith in these movies to actually make sense, so that was a pleasant surprise.

I liked the revelation that Asuka was actually also a clone series like Rei. It was unexpected yet made a lot of sense. Asuka clamoring to be loved, for the affection that's been denied to her because she's just another fly in the swarm; a military weapon, ultimately. However, I gotta say that like...Mari was out here giving Asuka the affection and love she explicitly admits to wanting in the movie. The scenes of her training in Germany were cool to watch. That's something I wish we'd seen in the original anime.

The reveal that Asuka's older than Shinji and was in her early 20s during 2.22 (she looks about 10 to be in the flashback with Gendo, Yui, and baby Shinji) was weird but after the Mari thing I didn't mind.

5. Rei

Firstly, I was super happy to see Amanda Winn Lee back!

This movie came so close yet still ended up missing the mark when it came to Rei. The concept isn't the issue at all. "Rei gets accepted into the village and learns to truly live" is amazing, actually! The problem is the cutesification of Rei. Here's a really good quote about why this is a problem. In 3.33 she was depicted pretty neutrally, all things considered, and a few scenes with her drifted into the familiar eerie, tragic territory of the original show. So this change is both deliberate and jarring.

Another issue is that Q!Rei's characterization, especially in this movie, has always seemed to me like that of a semi-verbal, high-support autistic person. That in and of itself isn't the problem at all. With very few exceptions, such as the Angelic Days manga, Rei has always been heavily autistic coded. Y'all know how I feel about this. The way the "camera," for lack of a better word, perceives Rei, how she's drawn, and how other characters react to her (cooing and giggling about how cute and naive she is), all rub me the wrong way when you take that into consideration. Autistic people are infantilized and cutesified in real life. This heavily contributes to the ableist abuse and neglect that we deal with as a population. In 2.22, Rei's seen reading Oscar Wilde, and in this movie she's reading a picture book for kids, even though she can read the esoteric technobabble in an eva's UI. She also gets Hikari's old school uniform as a hand-me-down, immediately codifying and signaling that she's eternally a cute little kid. Obviously the curse of eva still applies to the other pilots, but it's on a whole new level here. Her feelings for Shinji are fantastically mishandled as well.

I love the scene she shares with Asuka, because it's basically Asuka telling Rei that she's experiencing comphet -- these feelings are not organic, nor are they her own. They were planted by Gendo. In a better movie, this would've been a pivotal moment of questioning for Rei. Instead, she just says "whatever" and leaves. She even delegates the job of picking a new name to Shinji, not because she herself is incapable of it, but because she doesn't think she's fit to. Shinji is also just downright rude to her, not just in this movie, but in 3.33 too. That scene where she returned the walkman to him only for him to push it away would've been a great moment for her to be done with him. Also, Q!Rei even having a crush on Shinji at all in this movie came out of nowhere since in 3.33 there was nothing to suggest that.

Her past abuse and life at NERV are never brought up beyond vague mentions of "orders." Again, Rei's trauma isn't cute or sweet. It's tragic, harrowing, and uncomfortable. She asks what a cat is, why they shrunk a baby, and doesn't know what a bath is. Yes, logically, she might be confused about these things, given her past. But again, the decision to include those things specifically were deliberate. They're cute, easy to digest examples. It reminds me of questions a toddler would ask, excitedly going "mommy, what's that!" upon seeing a new animal at a park, tying yet again into the theme of brutal and gross infantilization. I don't know, I just think that learning that you were abused, neglected, and cloistered for your entire life should be disturbing, horrifying, existential, and a traumatic revelation in and of itself.

Her death didn't bother me that much, since it was foreshadowed in 2.22. In a weird way, I was happy that she died early on so she couldn't get butchered even further. Long-haired Rei was fine. She felt like 2.22 Rei and didn't do much except listen to Shinji. I thought her saying "neon genesis" was cool. Just like the Mary Iscariot thing, it was bad in a fun, goofy way. I like Rei's outfit at the train station at the end. I always knew she'd be a maxi skirt woman. Oh, and those boomer farmer women were great.

6. Hikari

Hikari was fine in this movie. I will say that it felt jarring to see her go from a high-powered, conscientious class representative to a SAHM. That's not a dig at SAHMs, either. Just saying it was weird. Fits with the natalist hell that is this movie, though. Seriously, even the quiverfull nutjobs would think this is too on the nose.

7. Midori & Sakura

Covering these two in the same section since they share most of their screentime. These two behave irrationally, and, forgive me for using a historically loaded term, hysterically. They monologue about their pain and loss while pointing their guns at Shinji, hesitate to shoot, and miss when they finally do. Then Misato tells them that Shinji's going to save them and they change their tune entirely to "zomg Shinji is our savior!" and this all happens within like, a minute and a half, at most?

[kallypsowrites]

Siege and Storm Thoughts

I have some mixed feelings about this book. It’s definitely not as strong of an entry as the first one for a variety of reasons. But lets start with stuff I like:

1. Alina. I really enjoy her as a protagonist. I like seeing her navigate power and balance of power because I think she proves herself good with it at most every turn. She listens to people, takes advice, stays away from her darker impulses. She never has a moment when she goes too far. It is a shame that her gaining power is still kind of framed as a negative thing, but I’ll get to that in my things I didn’t like section. Overall, she’s good. Still funny. Still blunt. Still very likable and relatable.

2. Nikolai. I LOVE Nikolai. His charisma, his intelligence, his honesty, his genuinely good intentions. He’s a good boy all around. He really is this perfect medium between Mal and the Darkling. Ambitious but not evil. And he has more of a sense of humor than the other two as well. He is consistently the most helpful to Alina while Mal is mostly causing her grief throughout the book. I honestly don’t know why he’s not the endgame love interest. More on that later.

3. Tolya and Tamar. Great new characters. They’re strong. They fight. They are also very helpful to Alina while also calling her on stuff when she makes a mistake. I especially love Tamar but that’s probably because it is hinted she is gay. I’ve decided she is and no one can tell me otherwise. She is my wife.

4. The Darkling. There’s not near enough of him in this book, but he’s a sinister villain and what conversations he has with Alina are electric. The first few chapters *chefs kiss*. This man is never not going hard with his dialogue. And he is a real, credible threat. Love his plan at the end. I like smart villains. Fuck him for hurting Genya though. That’s my girl.

5. Zoya. She got to be more of a person this time. I still think there’s a lot of development left for her and she’s not the most fleshed out, but I like pragmatic characters who put their feelings aside for what they think is the greater good.

6. The beginning and the end. This is a weird thing to say but I think both the opening of the book (up until they get to the Little Palace) and the close of the book (Nikolai’s birthday on) are really strong sections with some of the best material yet. It’s the middle that I have some problems with.

Things I didn’t like:

1. Pacing. The first 10 chapters are very well paced. The return of the Darkling, finding another amplifier, intro of new characters, an exciting trip through the fold on a flying ship. I was really gelling with the novel. And then the pacing just grinds to a halt. Most of the content in the little palace feels like padding out the novel waiting for the final battle to get here. Some of the conflicts, like the one with Mal, seem so contrived to stall for time. We spend a lot of time with side characters but I don’t feel I get to know most of them that well. It just feels like a lot of...waiting. And I definitely found myself skimming through some parts.

Certain things were dragged out for too long. The reason behind the Darkling and Alina’s visits for one thing. I think that could have been revealed to her before the climax. Maybe earlier on to give things more stakes. She realizes that she is the one calling to him and tries to stop but it just keeps happening. Maybe he’s even exploiting the connection to gather intel. There’s just a lot more that could have been done with those meetings to keep the pacing up.

It’s funny because a lot of book 1 was spent at the little palace, but it had momentum then. Alina had a lot of drive because she was trying to reach a goal. In this book, they are preparing for a goal to reach them to respond, so it takes away some agency that could keep the plot moving. I also think we could have gotten to the climax a bit faster because its ultimately only a few chapters. We could have expanded that. All in all this book is about 100 pages longer than the first but it doesn’t need to be.

2. Side characters. Outside of the leads and a few side characters like Tamar, Tolya, Zoya and David, this book really does not delve much more into the characters. Sergei, Marie, Nadie, Fedyor, Ivan...they all end up kind of nothing characters and when half of them die its just like......oh. Kay. David is given a bit more development as is Zoya but it feels kind of superficial with them as well. I’m a little more interested but not exactly forming a connection. And I can’t even say that Tamar and Tolya are that complex. They’re just archetypes that I like done well.

It’s clear that the author likes to focus on her leads. On Alina, Mal, and Nikolai (and the Darkling when he’s there). Alina obviously has to be there for everything. She’s the lead. But it feels like all the complexities are given to the main cast and the side characters kind of suffer. So in the final battle they’re canon fodder. As long as my leads survive I don’t mind. I cared about Genya, despite her barely being in this book, but that’s only because she was written so well in the last one. I guess I can applaud Leigh for being able to flesh out six POV characters in Six of Crows cause she clearly grew in that regard.

3. Mal. I think I was willing to let some things in book 1 slide because like...growing pains, right? They’ve never acknowledged their feelings before. He says some gross things but he does apologize. I’m not that interested in him, but fine. But book 2 his behavior continues to be gross. He’s often weirdly victim blamey at Alina, scared of her power even though she uses it well, and just so unwilling to accept how she’s changed. He’s also a hypocrite, doesn’t listen to her and makes everything about him. His moments of good banter with her are eclipsed by how constantly frustrating he is.

Not to mention he doesn’t really...have anything to do in this book? Like, outside of finding the Sea whip...he has no importance to the plot. He’s Alina’s guard. He doesn’t do much of significance to help her or the war effort. I thought they were going to give him the goal of tracking the fire bird to make that his plot thread but they decided to push that off. Which just shows that his only plot utility is as a tracker--an ability he has and not like...one of his personality traits.

And the book acknowledges that he feels useless but I feel like he still should have had something to do other than cause extra drama for Alina and then save her at the end. He just feels so tacked on most of the time.

4. Alina’s trajectory. Like...I know the endgame. That’s been spoiled for me. But I resent it. I resent whenever a woman gaining power (especially when she treats it well) is viewed as a bad thing. I resent whenever an ‘ordinary life’ is elevated above like...having magic. And if there’s going to be an endgame, Nikolai just makes more sense to me right now. Darklina will end in tragedy. That seems pretty clear. But Nikolai just feels like so much better than Mal. I have to read the other book to fully get my thoughts together on this though.

That’s it for Siege and Storm. See you all when I start Ruin and Rising!

[loudsuitlover]

Doctor Harry XXVIII. Tercer movimiento: Lo de dentro.

A/N: Long ass chapter but lovely, I think. I hope you like it too <3 Every other part can be found here

BLUE’S POV

“Are you done?” I giggle as my mum keeps taking pictures of me in our garden.

“Yeah, I think so but I hope you send me some more with Harry at the reception.”

“I will.” I promise her.

I walk inside towards the kitchen and she follows me. It wasn’t really hard to find a dress for the wedding. Coco, Ollie and Marie offered to go shopping with me on Monday afternoon and we genuinely thought it might take all week to find the right dress but it didn’t. It only took a couple of hours.

I asked Harry if there was any sort of etiquette or particular dressing code but he just said apparently you can’t attend a wedding dressed in white and then I asked if he had any preferences in colour but then he just said what he wanted didn’t matter and to wear whatever I wanted. He wasn’t of much help but I wouldn’t have wanted for him to say anything different from that.

I have never dressed for anyone other than myself but I hope Harry likes my dress tonight. I chose a floor-length slip gown made of silk. It is a soft baby blue colour and so soft to the touch I think I could sleep on it. It’s backless too because I’m a sucker for backless shit and I hate bras so I don’t have a problem with going braless. I keep the jewellery and makeup to a minimum but I do wear crimson lipstick and my thin white gold choker. I wear Coco’s long bright grey fur coat and bright grey heels salon heels.

Harry did ask me about the colour of the dress but I guess that has to do with his choice of tie or handkerchief. I know it’s cheesy but it excites me that he would consider my dress so as to match me.

The bell rings and I get the door as I put on my coat. When I open the door, my breath catches on my throat as I’m faced with a very sexy, annoyingly handsome Harry that looks like a bright peaky blinder without the cap.

He’s wearing a fucking bright cream colour vest and cream colour jacket and pants and a baby blue silk shirt, matching my dress. The first few buttons of the shirt are unbuttoned so the almost looks like a handkerchief.

“Fuck.” He grins. “You can’t be prettier than the bride, Blue.”

I giggle and he leans in and touches my Hollywood style waves and lets them drop back against my chest. I knew he would appreciate the hair down.

“I thought you said you couldn’t attend a wedding dressed in white.”

He smiles.

“This is cream” he defends “and the bride knows what I’m wearing.”

“You look dreamy.”

“Let me see!”

My mum comes running from the kitchen and I feel the heat on my cheeks hot enough  I’m sure they look like my lips at this point.

“Oh my God! You look like a brunette James Dean!”

Harry laughs but blushes and I giggle along with my mum like two teenage girl.

“Grasias, Alisia.”

I raise my eyebrows as I remember.

“Está aprendido español, ¿sabes, mamá?” (Did you know that he’s learning Spanish, mum?)

Harry smiles with his lips closed and my mum swoons.

“¿En serio?”

“Sí.” Harry nods. “No sé mucho pero entiendo algo.” (I don’t know much but I understand some.)

“Nena, cosételo.” (Baby, tie him up.)

I chuckle and pray to God he didn’t understand as I gently push him away from my drooling mum towards his car. He gets on the driver’s seat and doesn’t say anything else as he drives away.

“Are you nervous?” I ask him.

He sighs.

“A little.”

“I’m sure it’ll all be beautiful.”

“Yeah, it better be or else Gemma might kill some people.”

I laugh but think it to be true. I’m familiar with the term bridezilla and something tells me Gemma has a character. I guess we recognize each other.

There’s a small grey stone church with a big colourful rose window over the door at the top of a hill and Harry parks the car on an esplanade some meters away from it. When I step out of the car, I notice the ground is covered with loose small white stones that sort of look like snowflakes.

Harry is smiling, waiting for me to join him and only then I realize I’ve been gawking around. It’s such a beautiful place and I didn’t even know of the existence of this church. Then again I’m an atheist.

“I think you’re the most beautiful creature I have ever seen.”

“Creature?” I smile. “I knew you’d like my hair down.”

“Come here.”

His hands wrap around my waist through my thick coat before he pulls me to him and his lips press against mine. Thank God Coco had that fixer spray for the makeup so he doesn’t ruin my lipstick too much.

Inside the church, it’s warmer than I expected. Despite the stone on the outside, the inside is wood and I’m thinking the architects, whoever that was, did a good job with the insulation. There aren’t that many people on the church but I guess it’s normal for the bride’s brother to be one of the firsts to arrive.

The ceilings are so high it’s even hard to appreciate the reredos but it gives the chapel some sense of highness, even I, an atheist, feel closer to heaven. It’s the last hours of sunlight of the day and the winter can be heard outside in the form of wind and leaves but I still think it’s such a nice time to get married. It kind of feels as if they would be safe from the storm, because they’re together, and it also feels as if it doesn’t matter how’s the weather outside, it would always be warm if they’re together. I know, weddings really turn me into a softie.

Harry’s hand on mine guides me along a corridor on the left side of the church. I know in a church, the left side is the right side for us to stand, for it’s the side of sin and that’s where we belong. At the end of the corridor, a few very elegant people are gathered.

“Hey, son.”

A man with grey hair short hair and a gentle smile, a few inches shorter than Harry, gives him a hug.

“Hey, dad.”

He doesn’t look much like Harry and neither does his smile really for he doesn’t have any dimples and his lips are quite thinner but he’s got the same air of kindness about him and he transmits the same goodness as his son.

“This is Indie. Indie, this is my dad, Des.”

“Hello, dear.” He politely offers me his hand and I shake it.

“Nice to meet you, sir.”

He asks me how I’m doing and we start a casual conversation but I can’t help my eyes from drifting to Harry as he frowns and looks around. He really is nervous so I forgive him for abandoning me with his dad.

“Your sister is inside.” He answers his silent question and Harry’s eyes set on him.

“Do you think I can go in?”

“I think yes. She did kick me out but try your luck, son.”

He nods and gives me a look.

“You go.” I encourage him.

It’s way too intimate for me to be in there after talking to Gemma just the once. I don’t even know his mother.

“I’ll be fine.” I tell him.

“Yes, I’ll look after her.”

His green eyes set and travel between us both as if he was considering whether to leave me here or not. But after a few seconds he nods his head as if convincing himself and knocked and opened the door that hid her sister.

“Way to introduce you into the family, huh?” Des starts. “My son and his weird ways, I guess. It’s okay if you don’t remember everybody’s names.”

I giggle.

“I’m pretty good with names.”

“The thing is every young female in the family look alike. Even I get confused and they’re my sisters’ daughters.”

He starts telling me about the members of his family and asks me about mine and I tell him about my siblings and my parents. He finds our names very interesting, naturally, and tells me about how they decided on Harry’s name. I also learn his middle name is Edward.

I don’t know how much time has passed when Harry finally exits the room but his eyes are teary when he does and he’s holding a flute glass with what looks like a mimosa.

“I gotta go check on Michal.” He tries to sound unaffected but I smirk because I know better. “But my mum gave me this for you. She says it’s good.”

I smile and gladly take it from his hand as he turns to his dad.

“I tried sneaking one out for you, dad, but they said some shit about us men having enough with not having to do our makeup or something like that.”

I giggle and Harry smiles teasingly at me.

“That’s alright, son.” Des chuckles. “Thank you.”

Harry nods and like that he leaves us again and opens another door on the same wall. I think it’s beautiful that both bride and groom are that close together only with a wall apart. Des keeps the conversation going about my personal choices on Medicine, whether I like consultation over surgery and so on, until Adam joins us and shakes his head.

“Hello, Des. Long time no see. Hi, Indie. You look beautiful.”

“Thank you.” I give him a smile.

It’s such a shame Marie couldn’t come but your grandparents’ golden wedding is not something one can say not to. I know she would have liked for Adam to be there but she understood his motive. After all, Adam is a part of the Styles’ family and that makes Gemma sort of like a sister to him too. Yet I wish Marie were here. I know for a fact we would have had so much fun and she would have been a cheerleader for me if I freak out at meeting so many important people to Harry in the same day.

“Where’s Harry?”

The moment he asks that, as if on cue, Harry comes out of the groom’s room and places a hand on my lower back. He sighs.

“Just making sure Adam wasn’t having a panic attack or climbing out the window, Gemma’s words not mine. I’m gonna tell her he’s not so she can keep it together.”

The three of us laugh as he rushes to her sister’s room now.

“I remember my wedding day” Des said “I have never been more nervous in my entire life, not even when my kids were born.”

“I don’t think he would climb out the window on this weather though.” Adam jokes.

I laugh with them but don’t say much. I’ll admit I’m nervous. I don’t know what to say to seem worth it of Harry. Thank his mum for the alcohol in this graceful mimosa.

“Alright” Harry says as he joins us “I look like the errands boy but now they want me to say hi to guests and show them to their seats. The things one has to do… Would you accompany me?”

I panic. He wants me to stand there and say hi to every single guest? But he looks so good… And I’m going to say yes.

“I’ll help.” Adam smiles.

“Thank you.”

The three of us say goodbye to Des who has to wait for Gemma to be ready since he’s walking her down the aisle and make our way towards the flowers arches that mark the aisle.

“My mum wanted to meet you already” Harry says “and she’s sorry she didn’t come out to at least say hi but her hair wasn’t done.” He smirks.

“Oh, no, that’s fine. She shouldn’t worry. It’s her daughter’s wedding day. I’m not the important one here.”

“I know.” He smiles. “But you’re the first girl I bring home and she’s excited. Let the woman dream.”

I blush as I look at Adam from the corner of my eye. He’s smirking before he stands on one of the narrow corridors on the sides of the benches and Harry and I continue walking until we stop and stand on the main arch.

“How was your sister?”

“Gorgeous” he states but he’s rather stern “and nervous. She made me go check on Michal because she was at the verge of a panic attack herself.”  

I smile because I know he’s exaggerating. He always is and he looks down at me with a big smile.

“What did you and my father talk about?”

“Family, mostly. He also told me how your mum and him came up with your name, Eddie.”

His jaw clenches and he gives me a death glare but I just laugh at his reaction. Our conversation dies the moment the guests start arriving without giving us enough time to talk in between. I don’t know how many times he’s said this is Indie, my girlfriend but if I concentrate, I can hear him on my mind now.

“I wish there was some sticker or something we could stick on your forehead” He jokes “I’m Harry’s girlfriend.”

I chuckle but when I’m about to playfully swat at his arm, a blonde girl wearing a lilac gown indicates us to our seat and Harry guides me to the very first row. Oh, boy, where have I gotten myself in?

Less than a minute after we sit, his mother stands next to him. She looks even prettier than she does in the picture he’s got on his bedside table and even if she could be my mum, she intimidates me. She’s absolutely gorgeous, with lively green eyes and dark hair and for the love of God she looks so much like her son.

“Finally” she smiles at me “I get to meet you.”

“Hey, mum” Harry stands up from the bench and I follow suit “this is Indie. Indie, meet my mum, Anne.”

“It’s really a pleasure to meet you, darling. Unbelievably, you are even prettier than in pictures.”

Harry grins. Is he proud? I think he’s proud at his mother’s compliments to me. I smile despite the heat on my cheeks.

“Thank you. You look stunning too.”

“Thanks. Uh, here comes the groom!”

We all sit down and see Michal walking down the aisle with his arm intertwine to the one of a woman. I suppose that’s his mum. He smiles at Anne when he gets to us and then he takes his place on the altar and holds his hands together over his belt. He looks at the flowers arch with a big smile waiting for his lover.

A few minutes after, not making him wait too much, everyone in the chapel turns her head and down the aisle, we watch a stunning, very happy and extremely beautiful Gemma making her way all dressed in white; wheelchair included. Her dad walks on her side and their arms are intertwined and only when Gemma’s past us, three little girls dressed in white too come into view. They have spread flowers all over the floor after Gemma and one of them had actually been pushing the chair. They look like little angels.

Michal sits down on a white metallic chair adorned with white flowers, just like Gemma’s, and they both stare at each other and giggle and that’s when the bubble forms and everyone different from them two just gets to stare but we’re all out of it.

I hear the ceremony and as beautiful as it is and as gorgeous as the two of them look, my eyes keep drifting at Harry because he’s smirking the entire time and I have never seen him so handsome.

I cannot believe, out of all the people in the world, he chose me to sit next to him today. I am the first girl he brings home and there’s one part of me that feels so special but there’s another part who wished that wasn’t true because it makes me realize how hard it’s really going to be for this to work. After all, who stays with the first girl they bring home forever?

His green eyes set on me for a second and he smiles. The air is out of my lungs.

“Gemma, you are the smartest person I know but not even you could understand how incredibly lucky I feel to be here with you today and become your husband. I remember wanting to have, and sometimes making up, excuses to talk to you and now look at us.” They both giggle “You are my best friend, Gem, and you’ll always be so today I vow to change your name in my phone from ‘lady friend’ to ‘wifey’.” Soft giggles accompany Gemma’s through the chapel and Michal grins at her before continuing. “I vow to always appreciate your laugh, your smile, your caring nature and that face you make when I add too much chili to your nachos. I promise if there's only one beer left, I'll let you have it and to always make sure there’s Earl Grey on the cabinet. I promise to always love you without conditions or reservations, even when you make me watch the Bachelor, and to show it with care and consideration. I promise I’ll be patient, even if that means I’ll have to listen to how I should have gotten you ice-cream even if you said you were on a diet.” He smiles. “I vow to always remember these vows and to love and honour you for as long as I shall live.”

“Those were really great vows.” Gemma nods her head.

“Right?” Michal’s nose shrinks as he nods along with his almost-wife and everyone starts laughing. “I felt it, I felt like I owned it.”

“You really did, babe.”

They both giggle and just as fast as the distention of laughter have fallen upon us, a sort of intensity covers my shoulders but the smile is still on my face, and on Harry’s, when Gemma clears her throat.

“Michal, I had never believed in destiny until God gave me a second chance and ever since then I’ve always thought he didn’t let me go then because I didn’t yet know you.” I see Harry’s emotion on the way his shoulders tense and hear his breath getting stuck on his throat. I land a hand on his shoulder. “So thank God you took that gap year in Colombia.” And then he lets out something similar to a chuckle and I realize Gemma’s a master, much like her brother, for she knew she had dropped the mood and then masterly lifted it up again. “I have thought very hard about what to say today because I could never list all the things I love about you for I love your thoughtfulness and your kindness but also the way you weirdly get excited about pumpkin late and how your eyes crinkle when you laugh very had. And it’s for those things that today I want to vow that I will never forget that you are the love of my life and that in the darkest moments, I will always have a friend in you and you will always have a friend in me. From this day on, you will never walk alone. I mean, technically you will, but you know what I mean.” Michal shakes his head and laughs and Harry clicks his tongue at her sister’s dark humour but smirks anyway. “I vow to be your strength when you feel weak, to only fight you when you’re fighting yourself and to fight beside you for the rest of the times. I vow to pretend not to be annoyed when you pretend you don’t like The Bachelor and to listen to you when you talk about footie.” She takes a deep breath that can be heard through the church and Michal gives her a loving smile. “You know, when I was studying journalism with Chloe, before every presentation we would look into each other’s eyes and tell each other ‘I believe in you’ and even though we never really talked about what that really means, to me it meant ‘I love you and whatever happens out there, I’ve got your back’ so since words cannot do it, I promise to show you, for the rest of my life, how much I love you because Michal Mlynowski, I believe in you.”

Harry and I stand behind as the just married couple exist the church and I don’t say anything because I know he needs this moment to himself. His eyes are shut and he’s looking up with his hands on his hips. Respecting the silence, I wrap my arms around his waist and rest the side of my head on his chest and it takes him about a second to wrap his arms around me too. I feel his muscles relaxed until he’s as soft as his muscles allow him to feel and rests his cheek on the top of my head.

“You know you’re not alone, right?”

He doesn’t answer nor move so I pull away from him enough so I can look into his eyes. His eyes lock with mine but he remains expressionless.

“You’ve got me.” I offer.

My words change the pattern of his breathing and his eyes set on every inch of my face, as if he was looking for a tiny wound. After not finding any, his eyes set on my lips and even though he doesn’t say anything, I know that look. I’ve seen it before and I know what he wants so I tilt my neck back and press my lips against his in a tender, innocent kiss, letting a flood of butterflies loose on my belly and my heart. When I pull away, he presses a tender kiss on the tip of my tongue and then on my forehead.

“I know, baby.”

He leans down and kisses me again but since he was the one initiating the kiss now, he’s also the one taking control of it, and this time he deepens it and I suck his breath on my throat. My heart’s beating fast and I… I…

“You have no idea what you’re doing now” he whispers “but the only reason I managed to go through that without any artificial sedatives was because you were there.”

I swallow the lump on my throat. I really don’t want to mess up and I don’t think there’s anything I could say to him right now that would really hold the meaning of whatever it is that I’m feeling right now.

             Dinner was surprisingly fun. I thought I was going to be awkward, always measuring what words I could use or what I couldn’t say around them and I genuinely thought the mood was going to be a lot more tense but Harry isn’t as bad around his family as I thought he’d be.

We’ve been casually talking and his mum Anne has proven to be the sweetest woman in the world, explaining Harry’s caring nature and his own kindness, and welcoming me in the family like I had been coming over to birthday parties and family dinners for ages.

Gemma and Michal are also quite funny, which I had already realized as they vowed, and I’ve found out Michal has a real talent when it comes about teasing Harry, which has been quite funny to me.

“Harry, I think it’s time.” Michal tells him.

I tilt my neck to give Harry a look but he just nods at Michal before he stands up. He makes his way towards a little stand I haven’t even seen before after taking a glass of champagne from one of the trays the waiters are holding and I watch him, completely hypnotised, as he smiles and runs a hand through his hair in front of the microphone.

“Hi” He clears his throat “Good evening, everyone. I’m Harry, I’m Gemma’s younger brother, even though I think you all know that and I’m standing here about to give a speech ‘cause she’s begged me to, quite simply.” Everybody laughs but he just raises his eyebrows and shakes his head as if saying it’s the truth. “Uh, when I was thinking about what to say tonight… So 30 minutes ago,” He knows when the laughter is coming so he stops and grins and my heart stops every time “I thought that, uh, I should really start thanking my sister; thank you, Gem, for making it so easy for me to be Mum’s favourite child.” Gemma laughs out loud and everyone joins her. “As most of you know, I’m a doctor, I’m an Anaesthesiologist and Gemma is… Gemma’s brave.” His sister laughs. “She was brave when she stood her ground and decided to study journalism even when most people would tell her no; she was brave when she learnt to live a new life, in a totally different situation and she taught me how to do that; she was brave when she started her own business but mostly she was brave when she agreed to marry Michal.” Michal laughs and nods approving his brother-in-law’s joke and I didn’t really know Harry could be so funny, except I did know. “It’s such a blissful, beautiful thing for me to see my sister trusting and loving someone so much, someone who loves her and trusts her just as much and who clearly married up” He grins and I love it because I can see the chuckle he’s holding back “and it’s also a wonderful thing to win a brother like Michal because… Michal, I love you, you love me, we love each other… Although” he stops to add some dramatism and everyone smiles in anticipation “we kind of are polar opposites. He’s funny,” his hand opened in the air points at the direction of the groom before he rests his palm on his chest “I’m smart. He’s athletic, I’m incredibly good looking” he chuckles and so does everyone else “but the thing we both have in common is Gemma and how much… It annoys us when she makes the whole family watch The Bachelor.” He chuckles. “No, but seriously, Gem, you’re my best sister and I love you more than I could ever say to you. Growing up, we didn’t always see eye to eye, I used to kidnap your dolls and ask you for ransoms and you didn’t let me use your karaoke but I can’t imagine my life without you and I know I wouldn’t be half the man I am if you hadn’t been there to show me what it means like to be strong, to be brave and to be kind. I was told recently that it shows that I was raised among women, and this includes you, dad” he jokes “because I am protective by nature and I think it’s true” his green eyes, amused, nervous and brave look at me for a second before they set on his sister “because, even though I’m younger, I have always been and will always be protective of you, Gem and I’ll protect you because I need you.” He clears his throat but I know it’s an attempt to get rid of the emotion clinging on his throat. “I have always admired you and I always will and I wish you and Michal the very best and a long, happy life full of love and joy because that’s what you deserve. Mum made me say that.” He grins at bride and groom and lifts his glass in the air and so do we all. “So let’s have a toast for Mr and Mrs Mlynowski and for all the good they’ll bring to the world. To Gemma and Michal, I believe in you.”

Bringing my glass to my lips, I still see Harry having a sip of his champagne. I tense up. That’s the first time I see him drink. He comes back to the table and hugs both his brother-in-law and his sister for the longest time and then Michal indicates we shall mingle around for a few minutes whilst they get dessert ready.

Harry rests his hand on my waist and gently pulls me away from the just married and towards the very centre of the hall. I politely decline yet another glass of wine I’m offered and the waiter walks away.

“You can drink in front of me, you know?”

“I know. I’ve done it plenty of times before.”

“I’m not an ex-alcoholic, if that’s what you think.” He smirks.

“That is not what I thought. You said you didn’t drink because you don’t like alcohol. You never said you had trouble with it.”

He nods his head slowly before he leans down until his lips brush the shell of my ear.

“My mother does.” He whispers. “The reason I don’t drink is because I’ve seen what alcohol did to my mum when she was indeed an alcoholic and I don’t want that for me.”

My blood boils. I get furious that he had to go through that too but then I look at him, and it’s like I realize I won’t help anybody with that anger, and then I feel cold that he’s dropping a bomb like this in the middle of a wedding and that he’s trusting me with this now. I give him a lips closed smiles.

“It looks like you enjoy dropping bombs at family reunions.” I joke.

He chuckles. And when a waiter passes next to us with a tray full of champagne glasses, he takes two of them and hands me one with a big smile. I take it and inevitable smile back at him.

“That was such a great speech you gave.” I congratulate him. “Funny, witty, tender… I enjoyed it.”

“Thank you.”

“I didn’t know you had such a way with words.”

“Yeah, I understand why you wouldn’t know that.” We both giggle at his comeback. “But… I actually write sometimes.”

“Oh, you do?”

He nods.

“Yeah, I started doing it as a thing in therapy. You know I had like this journal where I was supposed to write my own feelings and like elaborate on them as part of a bigger understanding… And now, I just… Still write sometimes.”

“Have you written anything about me?” I smirk.

A timid smirk escapes his suppression and he looks away from me. Oh, God; he has.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“You so have.”

I’m about to ask him more on that when a few young people join us. There’s the blond girl who told us to take our seats at the beginning of the ceremony, a tall brunette guy with short hair and a quarterback’s smile and a lanky guy with kind eyes but naughty smirk.

“Nice speech, Harry.”

“Funny.” The girl said.

“Thank you, lads. I think you all know this is Indie and Indie, these are Laura, Max and Liam, my cousins.”

“Oh, hi.”

“Hello there.” The girl I now know is named Laura smiled. “D’you know Mum and Auntie Sally have been talking about you two all dinner?” She smirks.

Harry shakes his head.

“I mean, even at your sister’s wedding, dude, you’re the one who makes the family talk.”

“Your mum and Aunt Sally don’t need a reason to gossip though. We both know that.”

“I suppose you’re right.” She giggles. “But hey, how are you holding up? I bet everyone is driving you crazy, coming up to you to talk, get to know you… Only Harry would introduce his first ever girlfriend in such a day.”

“She can take it.” He grins.

“It’s actually been quite fun.” I admit. “My mum’s Spanish and she’s got eleven siblings so-”

“Crap!” She says.

“Holy shit!” Harry chuckles.

“I’m used to big family gatherings.”

“For the love of God, eleven siblings are quite a lot of siblings.”

“Do they all also have many children?” Harry asks.

“Not all. I have 24 cousins.”

“What?” They all laugh and I laugh along with them.

We keep on talking and I learn a lot of things about Harry’s family, the big picture, but he also learns his fair amount about mine. We also chat with his grandparents for a while and they both are so sweet and British they make my heart swoon.

Harry’s Nana keeps insisting on him bringing me over some time for tea and biscuits for she still keeps of her silk clothes from when she was young and she wants to show them to me. She used to be a dressmaker and she used to design and sew her own dresses so I bet she’s proud of them. Her grandad just sits there and stares at her but he also adds some of the dresses he remembers and that just has me turning into mush. I love elderly couples what can I say?

We go back to our table for the wedding cake and I am so happy and excited I even have one and a half pieces. Harry and I shared the second piece as I talk with Anne about her mother’s dresses. She herself tells me about her wedding dress and it’s only when her eyes drop to my knee and she smiles that I notice her son has his hand resting there. I’m so used to our physical contact, that I think it would be easier for me to notice its absence at this point. My cheeks tinge pink.

The little angels that were throwing flowers after Gemma come running to our table with flowers crowns on their little heads and I recognize those curly locks, similar to Harry’s, on one of the little girls’ mane of hair. The must all be under 5 years old and they look so adorable I wonder how I haven’t noticed them during dinner. The tallest one blows on a bubble blower on Harry’s face and he tilts his neck back frowning jokingly and making the little one laugh.

“Oh, bubbles on my face, just what I wanted.”

He leans down, resting his elbows on his knees, so he can see the kids eye to eye.

“They dressed you up like little angels today, didn’t they? Then why are you still fighting to be the devil?”

“I won gold on my last gymnastics competition.” The little kid just changed the topic and Harry gasps exaggerating his surprise.

“That is very impressive, May.”

She nods her little head and I notice her eye drifting to me intermittently. She clearly doesn’t know who the fuck I am but I think she’s too shy to ask. Harry follows her sideways gaze until our eyes meet and then he smirks and leans down to whisper something at the little girl’s ear. Her mouth opens wide as she stares at me and I smile at her before I give Harry a look. He just smirks.

“She has got such long hair.” Little May says.

“She does.”

“Lucy, Lucy!” May tilts her neck so she can talk to younger little girl. “She’s a mermaid.” She whispers.

I look at Harry but he just grins.

“Why don’t you guys introduce yourselves?”

“My name is May and I’m 4.”

“My name is Lucy Ecran and I’m 3 and my mummie is called Angela and my daddy is called Finn.”

“We are sisters.” May explains.

Yeah, I figured that on my own the moment they started talking. I grin at then and offer they my hand and they shake it.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, girls. I love your dress and your flowers. And congrats on the gold.”

“She really is a mermaid, Lucy.”

I suck my lips inside my mouth so I don’t laugh but before I can tell Harry to tell the girls the truth, a little boy dressed like a man comes running and tags May. She panics for a second but then her little chubby hands swats Harry’s chest as she yells tagged and runs away.

I was not expecting Harry to stand up from his chair and jog after the little girls but the two of them erupt into an adorable fist of giggles and the image warms my heart. I don’t know why I’m surprised, Harry’s so caring it makes sense these little girls would like him. He’s funny too and I’m sure he actually listens to them when they want to tell him stories about kindergarten or gymnastics.

“They love him.” Anne says.

Tilting my neck, I realize she’s also looking at them as they run around.

“Naturally.” I agree. “He’s sweet.”

Her green eyes, much like her son’s, lock with mine.

“I am so happy Harry finally found you.”

I swallow at the way she said that. Finally found me… As if he had somehow been looking… But I have to admit, sometimes I feel like we found each other too. I guess… I never thought I was going to find any other person ever again and yet, when we’re alone and I look at him and we I hear him breathing beside me on the bed, I just think… It kind of had to happen.

“I thought I was never going to say the day.” She smiles but her eyes are getting teary. “He’s been… Like… Gone, for a while.”

“How was he? Before the accident.”

She takes a deep breath. I don’t know her but I think my question caught her off guard.

“He was… He laughed a lot and he had all these plans; he could talk about the future for hours… He joked all the time too.”

“Well, he still has his fair amount of jokes.” I smile.

She grins.

“I guess he now has someone who laughs at them.”

“He’s great.” I nod. “I actually admire you for having raised such a wonderful, caring, kind man. I don’t want to take the credit away from him, after all, he chooses to be like that every day, but I still think the bigger part is thanks to you.”

“I’ve always wondered how he’d do in a relationship because, as caring and affectionate as he is, he’s also always had a very clear, very private inner world. He’s a private person, he’s always been, so I wondered… You know, if he would actually let someone really in. We’re very close, we’ve always been… He’s helped me so much, even when he was just a boy, but still sometimes I felt like there was always another part of him I couldn’t really reach.”

My eyes look away from hers. I can’t tell her that I’m worse than her son at that. I don’t know what to say so I just sigh and shake my head.

“Well, I… I think that’s… Good.” Anne’s eyes set on mine and I can’t believe I’m about to sort of contradict her on the first night we met. “I mean he doesn’t have to share everything with me.” I need to fix this. Come on, explain yourself, Blue. “I’m happy he shares whatever he needs or wants to, but if he wants to keep some things to himself, that’s cool too.”

The corners of her lips curl up in a lips closed smile and I feel relieved that she didn’t feel offended. I mean I never meant to, but some people these days, they take everything to heart…

“That’s a beautiful way to see it.”

I smile.

“I love the way his mind works, the way he thinks… Fascinates me and every time he shares that with me, I feel… Lucky and special and I think it’s a gift he’s giving me but he doesn’t have to.”

“Who doesn’t?” Harry runs a hand through his hair as he stands before us and his mum giggles.

“Did you catch her?” I ask.

“May? She’s a gold medal gymnast.” He frowns as if saying are you crazy?

I laugh and he smirks.

“I tagged Adam.”

The three of us giggle and in the background, we see Adam running after the kids. I think Marie would love to see this.

“Harry, dear.” Harry’s Nana reaches her hand to Harry’s waist and he turns his body and hold her hands to welcome her in our small group of three. “I wanted to come chat some more to Indie.”

Harry gives me a smile and helps his grandma sits down on his chair. Michal calls his name and he gives me questioningly look as asking for my permission so I frown and shrug and he reaches his now brother-in-law and his sister. His mother, his grandma and me start a conversation about books and I feel excitement takes over me as the three of us talk about Virginia Woolf and Sylvia Plath and Anne tells me growing up her mum and dad used to have this little library, on such small house, but that to her it always looked quite big and she wondered how it was possible for someone to read that many books.

My parents themselves read quite a lot. I don’t remember a single moment on the garden, being little and playing with my siblings that my dad wasn’t reading a book. He used to read them with a pencil too and he used to underline shit. I think I got that from him, all my copies are underlined.

Anne excuses herself to join her children and Harry’s Nana, Esme, tells me about her own experience, growing up and getting married and having kids, when all she was supposed to do was just that.

“And I was happy, I swear, I don’t think two people could love each other as Edward and I love one another but that is because he knows, you know? He told me, when we going to get engage, he said to me ‘Esme, I know you don’t love me now, but you will and that’s a promise’ and he was handsome, you know, he was very handsome but all I wanted back then was to have a voice of my own.”

“A room of one’s own, eh?”

She smiles.

“That’s right. And that’s what I got. I could do whatever I wanted, you know, Edward was just the guy who would support me, no questions asked. I think that’s why I did that many dresses. It was my own thing… And he loved them all.”

From the corner of my eye I can see Harry’s grandad surrounded by his family and yet his green eyes would look for his wife. They got married in 1950 and it just sounds so crazy to me that in that time, I mean it wasn’t that long ago, was it? Still women had to do as men told them.

One of Harry’s cousins, a pretty girl as well, for everyone in this family seems to be out of a magazine, joins Esme and me and Esme starts boasting off her granddaughter, much like she would do of Gemma or Harry, I’m sure.

I see Harry making his way towards me. He has been talking to his mum and I wonder whether she’s told him about our chat over him. I wouldn’t mind if she did, I think it would be nothing new for him.

“Blue,” he bows a little so I can listen to him better from my sitting position “do you want to dance?”

My lips curl up at the corners and I stand up. My eyes lock with his. He seems timid.

“Thought you said you didn’t dance.”

“Mum told me to ask you. Come on, I asked for this song.”  

I roll my eyes but let him guide me to the dance floor. It sounds like a song from the eighties and it doesn’t surprise me but I don’t know what to expect when a very deep voice starts saying “Girl, you know we belong together. I have no time for you to be playing with my heart like this. You’ll be mine forever, baby, you just see.” But after that, a very beautiful, soothing voice takes the lead and I haven’t seen the singer but I know he’s black. We belong together and you know that I’m right.

Harry’s hands rest on my back, behind my waist, and mine intertwine behind his neck as we slowly move. I have never done this with him but my heart is about to explode. Why do you play with my heart? Why do you play with my mind? He doesn’t say anything and neither do I for I’m listening to the song he said he asked for and I feel like a tide untie inside my body. I feel the waves moving up and down and I swear I feel just like I do after we untangle from one another after our closeness. I am on my tippy toes at the edge of losing conscience, right in that place where so far he’s only got me naked, but right now, even though I’m fully dressed, I am feeling naked on everything that’s not clothes.

When I can't sleep at night without holding you tight

Girl, each time I try I just break down and cry

Pain in my head oh I'd rather be dead

Spinning around and around

“D’you know the song?” He asks me at last.

I shake my head and he just nods but his green eyes don’t leave me as his gaze undresses me.

“You introduced me as Indie to everyone.” My voice comes out as a whisper but he’s unfaced by it.

“That’s how everyone calls you.”

“But you call me Blue.”

His eyes look into mine but he remains silent and stern, his lips are closed and I know he’s not going to comment on that. Yet somehow I understand, not everyone gets to call me Blue and he likes it just as much as I do.

“Mum loves you.” He says out of the blue. “I can’t leave you now.” His eyebrows raised on his forehead but I swat his chest because I know he’s kidding.

“We should visit your grandparents one day.”

“You wanna visit Esme?” He smirks.

“And Edward.”

“Oh, so you wanna make sure I really don’t leave you, eh? Becoming Nana’s friend too… Should have known before I brought you in here…”

I roll my eyes and he just chuckles.

“You don’t have to worry, baby, don’t have to try either.”

“I like them.” I confess. “You have a beautiful family and your speech was beautiful too.” He smirks. “And… I mean… So are you. You’re beautiful as well.”

His lips, still closed, curl into a smile and I feel my face heating up.

“Thank you, baby.” He leans down and presses a chaste kiss on my lips. “Mum’s probably watching us.” His whisper sounds muffled against my lips and I chuckle.

“Do your cousins still think I’m a mermaid?”

“Now they think you’re the princess of the sea.” I give him a warning look but he swears to be innocent. “That was all Max. So are you having fun?”

“I am, yes. And you?”

“Yeah.” He smiles. “I meant every word I said up there.”

“Guay.” I smile. “Me alegro.” (I’m happy for you.)

I tilt my neck back and capture his lips with mine and we kiss slowly and intimately, even though yes, his mum is probably watching and who knows who else but I can’t bring myself to care. When we pull apart, out of breath, he pecks the tip of my nose and smiles.

“I realized something today…”

My pulse accelerates and I swallow the fear and the anticipation of what might be to come but he just smiles and his green eyes burn into mine and he doesn’t say anything else. I don’t need him to. I know what it is.

I rest the side of my head on his chest and we keep dancing for Lord know how long. But after that slow dancing of ours, there comes some drinks and he actually drinks a little too and we end up jumping and dancing with his cousins and Gemma and Michal and I’m happy to see him like this.

I don’t know what time it is when Anne approaches the two of us with her coat on. Harry and I are resting our bags on the structure that holds the white marquee where the party is dying down.

“Here you are.” She smiles. “I was wondering, would you guys like to sleep at home tonight? You can leave whenever you want tomorrow but just so you don’t have to drive all the way back to Grad now.”

Harry’s eyes search for mine but I have nothing to say.

“Thank you very much Mum, we would really appreciate that.”

“Of course!” She smiles. Wow she really did want us to stay. “Go grab your coats, say bye. I’ll wait by the car.”

We do as we’re told and I walk with Harry towards his car. Anne’s standing next to the driver’s door and I almost smile. I don’t know why it surprised me that Harry lends his mum his car but for some reason I had pictured him to be some sort of car lover that doesn’t let anyone drive it. I wonder if he’d let me. The ride is silent and I take this time to myself. There’s nothing wrong with any of this. There can’t be.

I recognize the main road of Bellamond from last weekend. We pass the football field where Harry parked when we went to Tino’s and take a turn to the right. We drive past a school, an outpatients clinic and past a small park.

“Was that where you went to school?” I ask Harry.

“Yes.” He smiles.

“Is it still the same? I mean, was it like that when you were little?”

“How old do you think I am, miss?”

I throw my head back and laugh while he jokes about how there used to be dinosaurs when he went to school but for the rest of it, it’s pretty much the same. I imagine a little Harry with huge green eyes and curly hair walking inside school, when kids are so little their school bags are bigger than them. I imagine him having a cupcake on the recess for somebody’s birthday and eating a small sandwich with pickles the rest of the days.

“And we’re home!” Anne croons.

Stepping out of the car, I can’t really see much in the dark but I see a huge garden, carefully looked after, and a two floors house with a white door and white windows that contrast with the bricks.

“Your bed is made.” Anne whispers as we enter the house. “Now, I’m exhausted but you kids can have a cup of tea or something. I just… You will have to excuse me but I need my beauty sleep.”

“Sure.”

“Of course, Anne, thank you very much.”

“Oh, nonsense, this is your house.” She dismisses me. “Anyway, good night. Sleep well.”

“You too.” Harry smiles. “So… Do you want tea or water or milk or even… I don’t know, are you hungry?”

“No.” I frown. I’ve eaten so much I think if I roll up in a ball I might actually make one. “I’m good, thank you.”

“Okay.” He whispers. “Then let’s go to bed.”

He walks past me and turns on the light in the kitchen. The cupboards are white but the countertop and the household appliances are dark grey. Harry gets two glasses from the cupboard over the sink and fills them with water and asks me to turn off the light before we make our way upstairs.

I’m the one opening the door for his hands are full and when I enter his childhood room, I have a look around and feel my insides warming up. My house is a lot less personal. Even growing up, my Mum did the decorations of the entire house and even though she did it thinking of us and I loved my room, it still doesn’t feel as personal as this. There are posters from different bands and Elvis on the wall and he’s got a record player on the corner near the window. The room is painted a dark blue and even if it might make the space smaller, it also makes it cosier.

He takes off my coat and places it on his desk alongside his.

“I quite like your room.”

“You do?”

I nod at his rhetorical question and feel his hands over my ass. I tilt my neck to look at him.

“Come here.”

His hands fully wrap around my hips and he pulls me to him until my chest collides with his and he kisses me. His lips mould against mine and his tongue gently pushes inside my mouth. He smells so good… And fuck, this suit… Looks so sexy on him. This Peaky Blinder thing is really doing wonders to my sex thrive. I gasp and his hands grab my ass and I feel his nails sinking down the back of my thighs over my dress.

“H” I gasp “your Mum’s here.”

“My Mum’s passed out on her bed.”

His lips from my mouth to my chin and to the side of my neck and his warm tongue makes my skin cold when he moves away. He nibbles on my neck and his hands squeeze the flesh on my body through my silk dress. His touch is exquisite.

“She could hear us.” My voice comes out as a desperate moan, betraying me like a bitch, and I feel Harry smiling against my skin.

“Well, then you’d have to be quiet, won’t you?”

His mouth comes back to mine before I can answer and his hand, warm and big, cups one of my breasts and makes me moan on his mouth. His hands caress my legs, from my knees to my hips and the dress slips against my skin when he opens his fists.

His lips kiss my neck again. He knows it makes me fucking wet when he does that.

“I haven’t told you” I whisper “but you look so fucking sexy in this suit.”

His white teeth skim my skin as he grins.

“D’you like it?”

“You look like Tommy Shelby.”

He chuckles against my skin.

“And that turns you on?”

“Can you imagine if you were a Peaky Blinder?” I cup his jaw so he looks at me.

Fuck me, he is so handsome. I can feel the definition of his jaw on my hands and his eyes look so hungry and intense with dilated pupils against the brightest green I’ve ever seen.

“I would die.”

He frowns amused.

“Do you want me to be bad and rough?”

My cheeks tinge pink. No, I don’t. I like it the way he does it; gentle until he drives me crazy and then fast and hard and rough. My lips clench between my legs.

“I want you” My heart beats furiously on my chest “in my mouth.”

He doesn’t have any witty remarks to give me and that’s what I thought. Any other day, I would have teased him but he looks so fucking good and I can have him to myself now.

“You’ve been driving me crazy all night.” I confess.

I carefully lower down my hand from his shoulder to his chest and I feel his heartbeat, as fast as mine, and I love the way he’s looking at me. I touch him, I touch his chest and his arms and the buttons of his vest and he just lets me give me the same lustful adoration he’s given me plenty of times before.

I can say anything else because his mouth crushes against mine and he can posses me with one kiss and he does, his warm powerful tongue pushes my lips apart before it finds my own and caress it. His fingertips sink on my hips as he takes a deep breath through his nose and then his hands caress my belly until he cups both my breasts and squeezes them.

“Fuck, I want you.”

Still in my dress, I make a show of it as I get on my knees before him and his lips part. I unbutton his pants but keep the rest of his clothes on so I can see him and hooking my fingers on the hem of his pants, I slowly pull them down his thighs and leave him on just his boxers.

I love having him like this, all to myself, without saying a word or having control of the situation. He’s let me have the control for now and I know he trusts me like that. He doesn’t need to know what I’m going to do next. He just stands there and lets me have him and I feel fucking special for that.

I snake my hands under his shirt and caress his abs as I watch every seam of his jacket and the way it hugs his muscles. He is so fucking hot. I hook my fingers on his boxers and pull them down his legs so his hard, healthy, desperate cock is right there for me. I lick my lips before I hold the base between my fingers and lick a slow, timid stripe from the base to the line where the head begins. He gasps. I do it again.

“Please, baby” he groans “don’t play.”

Our eyes meet and I give him a little smile before I wrap my mouth around him and give him what he wants.

“Fuck.”

I feel his fingers tangling on my hair until his palm massages my scalp and I bow my head, slow and superficially at first, so he’s not yet reaching my throat, before I take him out of my mouth and lick him. His lubrication mixes with my saliva and always holding his base, I devour him like I’ve never devoured anyone ever in my life.

I want him and I want him forever and I know this might not be the most romantic time to realize that but that’s what it is. My yearning for him overcomes every other thought I might have in this moment and all I can think about, and all I am even, is just another part of him.

This time he doesn’t need to ask me to look at him because my eyes search him. I can’t take them off him. The sight of his manhood, this thick and close, drives me crazy so I think the fact that my eyes still look for him talks about how wonderful he really looks tonight.

Our eyes lock and I let my tongue out as I feed myself with him before I wrap my lips around him and suck. I feel him throbbing on my tongue.

“Fuck me, baby…” He groans. “You’re driving me crazy.”

Every time my tongue takes an extra slow lick he closes his eyes so I do it all the time because I love watching him and the way he grunts and moans when I suck him. I free him with a pop and pump my wrist instead, sucking his balls inside my mouth instead and his grip on my hair tightens.

“Shit.”

He’s fighting for breath and I revel on how vulnerable we both are right now. I’m keeling on the floor for him and yet he’s the one at my mercy. I lick him from the base to the tip and lick the crown of his hard on in circles. I smile when I look up at him.

“Fuck, you know perfectly fine…”

What I’m doing. I hold his thighs so I can use him as counterweight and leverage as I bop my head and feel his muscles tensing under my hand.

“Oh, baby”

I clench my thighs together trying to relieve some of the tension his grunts and moans are building on the lower side of my belly and between my legs and Harry places one hand on the wall beside him to support his weight whilst I bring him closer and closer to the climax with my mouth. I don’t take my eyes off his and I know that drives him crazy. His jaw is clenched when his lips don’t part and he lets out soft grunts. His hand moves from my hair down my cheek and his fingertips caress my upper lip.

“Fucking hell, love.”

I have all of him and I moan as he fills my mouth until I feel him on the back of my throat. I know when to stop so as not to gag and when I look up at him, he moans.

“I’m gonna cum, love.”

I nod my head while I keep on sucking and in a second, like he promised, he moans and I feel his hot cum on my tongue. I lick and swallow all of it whilst his thumb caresses my cheek lovingly and I lean my head on his head, revelling on his tenderness. When I get him out of my mouth, I give him a shy smile and he chuckles softly before he lifts me back to my feet. When I’m standing up before him, he wraps his arms around my body and pulls me to him in a tender hug almost unsuitable after what I just did to him. I hug him back and we stay like that for a few seconds.

Then his hand moves to the low of my back and he lays me on his bed but stands between my legs. His hands grab my thighs and pull my body to him until my ass is on the edge of the mattress.

“You look so fucking gorgeous in this dress, love.” His hand moves from my thigh to my belly until he cups my breast. “So fucking sexy.”

I desire him so bad it’s starting to hurt but he’s right there for me and I just have to be a little patient. He takes off my heels and then his hands caress my legs from my ankles to my hips, pulling my dress up with them. I moan when his fingers move my knickers away and he touches me. I’m dripping for him, I don’t think I’ve ever been this soaked and I feel like if he touches me twice I’ll combust.

He gathers some of my wetness on his fingers and slips two inside me and I moan and bite my bottom lip because I have to be quiet. I close my fist on his duvet and cling onto it while he thrusts his fingers slowly in and out of me.

I try to be as quiet as possible so only muffled strangled moans leave me every once in a while but I can listen my own wetness and Harry’s breathing. His other hand snakes up my torso and takes the strap of my dress off, exposing my breast before he wraps his lips around my hard nipple. He sucks and licks my breath and I arch my back and bite on my bottom lip. He’s taken off his jacket but it’s even sexier to see him with the cream vest and the blue silk shirt.

“That’s it, baby, you’re being so good, so quiet.” He whispers against my skin.

“Oh, Harry…”

I feel his hot hard on against my thigh as he keeps moving his fingers in and out of me. He hovers me and I hold onto his arm that’s moving his fingers inside me.

“Harry, please” I whisper “get inside. I need you, please.”

I don’t have to say it twice before I feel him filling me and satisfying my frustration. My hands curl around his biceps and he grinds his hips with a delicious, torturous rhythm and we both gasp and softly moan as much as we try to be quiet.

“You’re so beautiful.” He moans. “And you feel so good, fuck.”

I moan and feel my nipples hardening and the knot on my belly tightening and tightening and tightening. My walls flutter. And so does my heart.

“Are you close?” He whispers.

“Yes, fuck, yes.”

His lips cover mine and I feel my muscles tensing before I lose conscience for a couple of seconds. Harry keeps pounding over me trying to reach his own climax and overstimulating me. I moan and he kisses me so as to muffle my sounds. We could be heard but fuck, I think I’m gonna pee myself and if I pee on him I’d die from embarrassment.

“Harry, I-”

“Fuck, baby, you’re squirting.”

With another thrust he comes inside me and kisses me deeply but slowly, as if trying to calm me down. I have never felt like this before. I mean sex with him is always amazing but fucking hell I am exhausted, beyond consumed. I kiss him back and take deep breaths.

I’m not fully aware of the next few minutes, but I know he got me cleaned up and took my dress off for me before he took the rest of his clothes off and got in the bed with me. When I turn around, he’s grinning like a kid and I ask him what’s on his mind.

“I’m just thinking, teenage Harry wouldn’t believe this.”

I laugh.

“I’m serious” But he’s grinning when he rests his weight on his elbow next to me and hover my torso. “I can’t believe I just fucked someone as fucking gorgeous as you and that you’ve had me in your mouth and that you’ve fucking squirted. Jesus Christ, I think this was the best night of my life.”

I blush.

“That… Uh… That had never happened to me before.”

He grins.

“If only I had known about this Tommy Shelby fantasy of yours sooner…”

I laugh again but it’s harder and harder to keep my eyes opened so I rest my head on his chest and he hugs me.

“That had nothing to do with Tommy Shelby… It was all you…” I yawn. “I’d have you over him any day. I’d have you over anyone.”

[chasseurdeloup-retired]

Of Monsters and Moose || Arthur and Kaden

TIMING: 2 months ago, during Sand and Glass POTW LOCATION: Moose Caboose  PARTIES: @arthurjdrake and @chasseurdeloup SUMMARY: Bloody Mary decides to pay Kaden and Arthur a visit. AKA Sometimes your pixie roommate sets you up for a really bad blind date

The message on his phone was a surprise. Arthur wanted to meet him at Moose Caboose of all places for lunch. Kaden wasn’t certain why, especially there of all places, but he figured he’d find out. He had to figure if he was reaching out, there was a decent reason. It’s not like they were close but he had proven to be trustworthy. Enough. Kaden was thoroughly certain that Arthur was not just a man but a phoenix despite his denial. Maybe he’d have a chance to prove it. Subtly, of course. It’s not like he really made it a point to hunt phonexies. For one, they were rare as shit. And two, they weren’t usually the type to harm humans. And three, they weren’t exactly easy to kill if what he’d read in books were true. He wasn’t sure if they just sprung back to life from the ashes like a flaming zombie but he didn’t particularly want to find out and get on the bad side of a fire wielding bird, fragile as they were supposed to be. He took a seat at the restaurant and waited and wondered. Ever so often he noticed a flash or two of something out of the corner of his eye. Likely just people moving back and forth. “Hey,” he said, spotting Arthur as he took a seat. “What was it you wanted to discuss? It sounded sort of urgent. But uh, I guess only so urgent if we’re meeting, well, here.”

The moment Arthur’s phone had pinged with a message from Kaden Langley suggesting they meet at Moose Caboose two thoughts initially crossed his mind. The first: suspicion. After all, the last time they’d spoken Kaden had been rather accusatory regarding his own theory that Arthur wasn’t as human as he appeared to be. He was right of course, but that certainly wasn’t something that he particularly wanted to confirm. The second: surprise considering he really didn’t get the impression Langley liked him enough to even be interested in meeting up to discuss pie. But as ever, curiosity would kill the cat - or bird. Arthur glanced at his phone re-reading the message he’d received from Kaden while walking towards the booth Kaden was seated in, framed by a stuffed moose surrounded by pickled pumpkins with varying degrees of scarily carved faces. Grey eyes lifted as Kaden arrived accompanied by a look of puzzled interest. “Sorry? I wanted to discuss? I’m not sure--” he paused looking back at his phone and turning the screen towards Kaden to show their last conversation several months back followed by a more recent conversation initiated by an obscure message from Kaden earlier in the afternoon. “But I guess I was wondering the same thing.”

“Yes, you. You’re the one who invited me here.” Kaden thought the other mean was supposed to be smart, what had happened? Did he really not remember? He showed up, he had to know something. Kaden’s brows furrowed as he looked at the phone. ‘Meet me at Moose Caboose, pie man. We need to talk.’ The fuck? That was his name and information. But he had never seen that message before. “I didn’t send that,” he said, shaking his head. Part of him wanted to grab the phone and scroll through, check it closer, make sure it wasn’t a lie or a trick or magic but that seemed like a bad move. What if he just grabbed it and shook it? No, still bad. He sighed. “Well I got a very similar message from you so I don’t know what to make of that.” Kaden pulled out his phone and went to show him the message only… It wasn’t there. “Putain?” He scrolled through it furiously and there was nothing, just the conversation from months ago. “Ah, putain,” he repeated when it sunk in what probably happened. The pie comment. “Rumpleskuffs,” he said, grumbling. “Pretty sure my p-- my roommate sent that. As a joke.” He sighed before noticing another strange glint in something nearby. Odd. “Guess you might as well stay,” he said gesturing to the seat in front of him. “I’ve had worse company. How’s the girl? Was it Kat? She alright?”

“You didn’t? Weird…” but Kaden seemed genuine in that statement and his apparent confusion. He stood, shifting his weight from one foot to the other wondering just what Kaden was playing at here scrolling through his phone for some kind of evidence? Arthur blinked twice, “I’m sorry Rumpleskuffs?” Kaden had a room-mate called Rumpleskuffs? “Uh… Oh. So you didn’t want to talk about pie.” Well, that made this an interesting situation then, glancing between Kaden and the empty seat there was a half-a-second pause uncertain which way that remark should be taken. Folding his hands on the table, Arthur gave a small nod in confirmation. “Katherine? Yes. Fine, still suffers with some nightmares but talks a lot about the brave prince charming that came to destroy the evil monster. Kids… Pretty resilient huh?”

“We can talk about pie if you want, I guess. I’ve been making a lot but I’m not sure why you’d care.” Kaden was fairly sure that Arthur didn’t need to know why he was making so many, either. He didn’t love talking about feelings and bullshit with people he was close to let alone with near strangers. “Yeah, Rumpleskuffs, he’s a-- it’s a nickname. Weird guy. Likes pie a lot and messing with me.” He wasn't sure why he was worried about the likely phoenix knowing about his pixie roommate but he was. Maybe he just didn’t want to explain it or be judged for it. Wasn’t sure. Also felt like a bad thing to announce in public. “I don’t know how possible it is to grow up in this town without nightmares,” he said. “Glad to hear she’s otherwise okay.” He gave a small smile. “Not sure I should be anyone’s prince charming, though. Warn her about that one.” His brow furrowed as he noticed something moving in his glass of water. Odd.

A part of Arthur wanted to point out that really he didn’t care all that much but the rational part of his brain recognised that antagonising a hunter probably wasn’t the smartest of moves to make. So opted instead to say, “oh really? Is there another pie contest or something?” Rumpleskuffs? He rolled the name around in his head a little bit, “weird name that… How’d he get the nickname Rumpleskuffs? He isn’t a fae or something is he? I don’t know what their obsession with pie is… Or maybe it’s just the ones I’ve met but they all seem to share it.” His fingers curled a little under his chin in thought. “I dunno, I think if you’re stubborn enough it’s possible either that or you’re just lucky. One or the other.” Despite everything a smile edged its way onto his features, “she’s hardly going to pay any attention to me on that one plus you kind of look like that Flynn dude from that cartoon so I doubt much of anything will change that.” But Kaden was looking over his shoulder and naturally Arthur turned to glance behind him, finding only his own reflection. Weird. “Everything okay? You seem a bit- I dunno, distracted?”

“Not that I know of,” Kaden said with a shrug. Even if there were a contest, he didn’t have time to give a shit. The excess baking wasn’t for anyone else but him, not really. He froze when Arthur instantly pegged Rumple as fae. Putain. “I’m, uh, not sure. Just, it, yeah he’s a little fae. Mostly.” He wasn’t sure why he wanted to hide it. Shame mostly, to be honest. Alright, sure, he was dating Regan who was fae but that was partially because he hadn’t known initially. This was worse. Stupider, even. Maybe he should just accept his fate and get over it. Or rather is fae-te. He was a magnet for fae and fae bullshit. “Maybe so. But they’d be pretty hard pressed,” he said. This town was so full of living nightmares he couldn’t imagine skipping over all of it and coming out of this place without any scars of any sort. “Like Flynn who?” His forehead creased as he tried to imagine it. A cartoon prince who looked like him and fought monsters? He couldn’t imagine it. “Huh. Odd. Can’t picture it. I’m pretty sure no one would call me a prince either way.” He sighed and took a sip of the water the waitress left at the table. As soon as he went to take a sip, he swore he saw a figure in it, something dark and moving. “Merde!” he shouted as he dropped the glass from his hands, water spilling everywhere across the table. “Shit, shit, I’m sorry I thought I saw something in the wa--” He caught a peek at the glass and saw another flash of something and stumbled back out of his seat, catching himself on the edge of the chair before he tumbled to the floor. What the fuck was that?

For a hunter it seemed to strike Arthur that Kaden wasn’t the most apt at concealing his discomfort in a situation such as being caught in a lie or an omission of fact. “Not sure?” there were several ways to test whether Kaden’s apparent flatmate was a fae, but Arthur didn’t feel that right now was the best time to comment on it. “Perhaps, either that or find a decent enough spellcaster versed in the whole sphere of memory magic. That would usually clear up any issues considering if you can’t remember an event it can hardly give you nightmares hm?” But if the kid was happy enough and relatively untroubled then who was Arthur to interfere with how her parents - his great great times seven or something of the sort grandson chose to raise her. “Flynn Rider- Rapunzel- The- You don’t know? Oh huh…” he trailed off shaking his head “yeah okay probably better you don’t then.” Yet his attention was promptly diverted by the sudden commotion of water being spilled that had Arthur jumping to his feet in a flash at the same moment Kaden almost tumbled onto the floor. He peered at Kaden’s line of sight fixed on the glass and blinked as something seemed to shimmer and shift in the reflection “Oh bloody hell- Not again.”

Kaden did his best to act like nothing strange had happened, that he hadn’t just nearly fell from his seat, startled by a fucking glass of water of all things. “Sorry that was, I thought I--” It was then that he noticed Arthur was standing. He’d jumped away from the water like it was acid. If he was what Kaden suspected he was, it was likely that it was similar. Kaden didn’t get a chance to narrow his eyes or even question it further. “Not again? What do you mean not again?” he asked, brow furrowing. The reflection in the glass seemed to answer for him. As he looked into it, he saw a woman with a knife. Then felt a sting of pain across his cheek. “Putain!” he shouted, and clutched his face. He felt the blood running along his palm. What the hell? He pulled it away to examine his hand. Yeah, that was real alright. Real and red and painful. Kaden dared to lean in, get a closer look. “Murderer,” the spirit growled. The creases in Kaden’s forehead deepened and he saw a knife push forward towards him out of the reflection towards him. “Shit!” he shouted as he dived out of his chair, finally hitting the floor. “What the fuck is she talking about?! What’s going on?!” he asked Arthur. By now the whole restaurant had their eyes on them, there were whispers all around and lots of confusion. Kaden didn’t exactly care. But he did wonder if now was the time to tell people to leave.

Too many things happened at once, the accusatory glare and the sign of something strange lashing out of the upturned glass of water. A twisted ghostly visage one Arthur had seen not several weeks back in his very own kitchen attempting to drag Freyja down the stairs by her hair. “Oh shit” the panic was clear, though now really wasn’t the time to explain. “NO DON’T!” he yelled out instinctively as Kaden leaned in to inspect the glass right as another swipe of the knife followed one that could’ve certainly taken an eye if not for Kaden’s speedy reaction. “The reflections, she’s in the reflections” it was right as the words left his mouth that he saw the same figure manifesting in the glass panelled window, immediately, Arthur shot in Kaden’s direction, moving to backhand the glass off the table into the very panel the ghost had started to appear in. The whispers were silenced by the shattering of glass, glistening fragments spilling left right and center. A baleful shriek followed the sound and Arthur moved back over to Kaden extending a hand out to where he’d fallen “I know you have fuck all reason to trust me, but I need you to listen to me now - we need to get you out of here because she won’t stop until your head’s on a platter.”

“What?” Kaden sputtered as he worked to right himself onto his hands on knees, avoiding the glass shattered around him. “Me? What about me? How--” He was struggling to piece together all of the disparate pieces of the puzzle together in his panicked state. Ghost. This was definitely some sort of ghost or spirit. Reflections. Was this-- There was no way. “Don’t tell me this is Bloody fucking Mary,” he said in a hushed tone to the professor as he took his hand, letting him help him pull him off the floor. “Murderer,” rang out again, from over his left shoulder. Kaden looked back and saw the same woman in the mirror, ragged and dark and angry. Her knife reached out and this time Kaden ducked, putting his hand over his head. “What the fuck does she want with me? She’s got to be really fucking mistaken because I’m not a goddamn murderer.” There was chaos in the restaurant now, customers watching them and looking around them for the source of the commotion. A few of them had seen the reflection and pointed towards the mirror. Some of them seemed to think it was a show. Most of them were annoyed for the interruption. “Excuse me, we’re going to have to ask you to l--” the waiter started. “Way ahead of you,” Kaden said before ducking out. “How the fuck do I avoid all reflections? It’s nearly goddamn impossible.”

“Not now,” Arthur answered with a shake of his head as Kaden righted himself glancing at the hunter. For a moment there was a strange and sudden urge to laugh but no sound escaped him, only a grimace of acknowledgement and mild determination while backing up. “Would it make it momentarily better if I lied and said no?” But further words were cut short as the ghost swiped out from the window seemingly keen to totally ignore Arthur’s presence in the room next to Kaden. It sparked an idea, and Arthur shifted between Kaden and the next window using himself to block the ghost’s reach for Kaden. The waiter that had served them but moments prior looked as though he were about to have an aneurysm on the spot at the shattered window panel and it was the least Arthur could do to offer an apologetic look and passing remark of “sorry, I’ll pay for that later yeah? Claustrophobia, my friend doesn’t do well inside.” Eventually they made it outside but the parking lot posed an entirely separate issue and Arthur had to run through through options. “The park, open field right? Just round the block… If we get there we can probably wait her out… I don’t think you’ll be able to do anything to her… She’s not a normal ghost.”

Kaden wanted to be annoyed at the bullshit explanation to the waiter, but he didn’t have much of a chance. It’d have to fucking do because they had to get the hell out of there. “A park?” It made sense, he had to admit. There shouldn’t be a whole lot of reflective surfaces surrounding him there. He’d just have to avoid any water nearby. And if his suspicions on Arthur were correct, he’d be just as keen to avoid that as well. “Okay, park. That’s-- Go, let’s go.” He reached into his wallet and shoved a twenty dollar bill on the table before running out, ducking and dodging like it might help. “I know who the fuck Bloody Mary is! I’m a--” He stopped short, didn’t want to scream it out in the middle of the street that he was a hunter. Seemed like a bad fucking plan. “Just trust me, I know.” He started running in the direction he indicated, past the cars and show windows. Shit, fucking shit. He tried not to look but he had a feeling it didn’t matter one way or another if he checked his reflection. “Let’s get to the fucking pa--” His words were cut off by something grabbing at his ankles and dragging him back along the concrete. Kaden screamed and tried futilely to fight off the invisible, intangible object pulling him and scraping him along the sidewalk. He tried to grip the edge, keep from going any farther, but it wasn’t doing much good. Putain.

Arthur’s mind in a spur of the moment decision making process felt that a rather bullshit explanation seemed perfectly reasonable in comparison to telling their rather human waiter from what he could see that bloody goddamn Mary was here to try and kill them. Not them. Kaden. What was it about almost every instance they ran into one another that ended up in something going absolutely sideways? Breaking outside Arthur took off down the street high-tailing it after Kaden with half a mind to smash the windows of the cars they passed. After all, what was a bit of public property damage compared to sparing someone from meeting a rather bloody end at the hand of an equally murder orientated spirit? “Okay! Okay right-” and so they set off, Arthur mainly focussed on running; moving his feet one after the other even as the beginnings of a stitch started to cramp his side. Who knew that a lifetime of office work and preference for milk chocolate brazil nuts during a marathon of Clone Wars did not an athlete make. It was such complainant thoughts and panicked interspersed contemplation regarding what the hell they were going to do next that almost caused him to trip over Kaden as the man crashed to the sidewalk being dragged in the complete opposite direction.

“Oh shit- shit! Hold on!” Park. Right. Grass, bushes… Rocks. Rocks! With little other thought Arthur dove to a nearby bush rummaging around in the vain hope of finding- There his fingers curled around the rough texture of a rock about the size of his fist before scrambling back to the street and hauling his arm back to lob the rock straight through the nearest window of a smart looking mercedes. The glass shattered and its alarm blared but Arthur was already grabbing a piece of glass, little care for the jagged edge cutting into his palm as he brandished it towards the spirit speaking with a courage he didn’t admittedly feel right there and then. “Let him go Mary. He isn’t deserving of your wrath.”

White glass like eyes belonging to a gaunt face framed by stringing black hair snapped away from their intense focus on Kaden for but a moment before returning to the hunter with a snarled hiss, the shrill sound akin to nails scraping down a chalkboard “murderer.”

Kaden could feel skin scraping off his palm as he tried to wrap his fingers around any piece of concrete he could grab onto. He felt some release, the dragging stopped, but it was in exchange for the familiar sounds of glass shattering, the sharp pain of car alarms blaring in his ears. Still, he wasn’t going to complain too much about having a chance to scramble up from the ground. “Why does she keep saying that?” he said, voice laced with panic and confusion. Of course he wasn’t deserving of her wrath. Did she really think all killing made him a murderer? He wasn’t. That wasn’t how this worked. He’d never killed a human. Not once. Fucking spirit had to be mistaken. Even then, he felt like he should cover himself with his jacket, just hide. Like it might eliminate his reflection, make this go away. “We have to get out of here,” he said, grabbing Arthur’s arm and leading him towards the direction of the park, crouching behind the other man as best he could, hoping it might shield him from the spirit’s wrath. They had to leave. If not just because of the spirit but because he wasn’t looking to pay for this fucking broken car window. Somehow he didn’t think Alain was up for doing him any favors as of late. A wail rang through the night as black hair and a glint of silver flashed in the reflection of a shop window followed by a flash of pain along his arm. “Repent,” it bellowed. Putain de merde. “Repent for what? I’m not a murderer. You have the wrong person. Leave me alone!” That park had to be close. It had to be.

“Because that’s what she thinks you are and she’s not-” Arthur didn’t have a chance to finish the sentence as the spectre wailed; seeming to grow frustrated with the constant interruptions of this interloper. The frustration grew even more apparent as Kaden moved behind Arthur out from its line of sight and reach.

“You protect the guilty,” the accusation was harsh and grating and punctuated by a wild advancing slash that Arthur tried to block, but instead slid off and caught his shoulder clean, rending flesh and causing him to cry out in pain.

Stumbling back a step but keeping Kaden behind him he caught himself trying to ignore the stinging ache of his shoulder and where it was fast staining his jumper crimson. Arthur stared back at the spirit with a mixture of defiance and pain but also using the time to keep walking backwards. Just keep it talking. Use the time until they got to the point they could make a final run for it. “So what if I do? Bit hypocritical wouldn’t you say? You’re no better than them in the end.” The ghost lunged again but he was more prepared this time; dodging to one side and glancing behind him in the process towards the gate that was about ten metres away. Just a little further and they could run.

Shit, she was attacking Arthur now, too? That-- He wasn’t a murderer, then, was he? Kaden would have to figure that one out later. Honestly, she was clearly fucking confused so he wasn’t sure it was worth conjecturing one way or another. “Come on,” he said as the two of them backed towards the gate. “Any day now.” He didn’t like the idea of giving this bitch of a spirit any more opportunity than they had to. They were close, almost there, when she lashed out one more time. Arthur dodged and Kaden tried to duck, too, but he caught another edge of the blade slicing into his back. He screamed out but he turned on his heel towards the gate anyway, pushing past the pain. He wanted to make sure that was the last of it. He could manage it once he was something closer to safe. At the sight of the gate, Kaden practically slammed into it with his shoulder. It gave way without much protest and he kept sprinting into the middle of the field. Once he was pretty damn sure there was no shot of his reflection betraying him, Kaden collapsed to the ground and winced at the pain across his cheek, along his back, the various cuts from the various shattered glass. It took him a moment to catch his breath, collect himself enough to form words. “Thanks,” he managed to say, looking up at Arthur as he pulled himself up off the ground. “Your shoulder. You need first aid.”

There was no putting it off now and as the gate hinges squealed and grated open, Arthur legged it after Kaden into the middle of the grassy expanse of the field breathing heavy when they both finally came to a stop and took stock of their situation. Finding nothing malicious stalking them Arthur turned and sank down onto a nearby bench grimacing a little as he picked at where the fabric stuck to the slash; roughly several inches long but not too deep, “it’s not too bad.” And in all honesty it wasn’t, certainly wouldn’t kill him. Instead, Arthur looked back to Kaden assessing the damage the spirit had managed to do in their escape down the street. “Are you okay? That spirit seemed… Kinda intense in wanting to get her hands on you.”

“I’m fine,” Kaden said with a grunt as he pushed himself up off the ground and onto the bench next to Arthur. “That spirit seemed fucking confused is what she seemed like.” He winced a little as he felt the cut on his face. It stung, but it might not even scar, more surface level than anything. Which was nice. “Going after me. Going after you. Isn’t she meant to target murderers? Putain de merde. Someone fucking lied, I guess.” He shook his head and looked back to his companion. “You sure you’re alight, though?”

“Confused?” Arthur echoed side-eyeing Kaden for a moment trying to process the logic behind where the other man was coming from considering what they both knew Kaden was. A hunter. Someone that rather literally existed to balance the scales of existence of supernatural beings. “I mean there’s a fair justification in her going after you... Not that I’m saying she should” he added quickly “just… like you do mur- uh- kill people that aren’t human. Which is murder...” Leaning forwards Arthur rubbed his hands together. “I think she also goes after people that just get in the way of her target ‘cause I’ve never killed anyone in my life.” Or more correctly, in this life. “Uh yeah, though I’m not sure how we’re meant to get back home unless we just… Wait and hope she goes to chase someone else or something.”

“Killing monsters isn’t murder.” The words left his mouth like a mantra, without thought. Kaden wasn’t sure he believed it or not. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to think about what those words even meant anymore or if they held any weight in any shape or form. Either way, he had to hold onto them. If he didn’t-- He just had to. “Guess so.” Must have meant Kaden got in the way of someone else. Right? It had to. There was no other option. He couldn’t be a murderer. That wasn’t something he could live with. And so he wouldn’t. “Seems like that’s the. Guess I owe you dinner, huh?”

“Even werewolves or people that just so happen to have less normal aspects of themselves? Not all supernaturals are monsters - Regan’s a good example of that no?” How many times had Arthur had this conversation with hunters or slayers over his lifetimes? Too many to count but it always boiled down to the same gritted determination of belief that monsters of all shape and size were evil and that somehow their deaths was justified lighting it under the simple guise of monstrosity. It was interesting in a way, seeing how some people tried to justify their actions in their own mind to help them live with the actions and decisions they made on a daily basis. “If an evening out with you is always gonna end up with one of us almost dead or mauled by some beast… I think maybe next time we stick with an afternoon drink - lessens the chances a fraction hey?”

“We’re not talking about Regan right now.” Hell, Kaden was barely talking to Regan right now. And the less he thought about whatever was happening in those woods with Deirdre, the better. And he wasn’t going to try and sort out his feelings on the matter or the growing list of exceptions he was making while sitting on a park bench nursing his wounds after running from a fucking spirit that was trying to kill him through a goddman mirror. Not going to happen. It was bad enough he broke down with Morgan in the woods after that shit with Alain and the bugbear. He was not going to have another fucking moment like that on a park bench. No, thanks. “Spirit must have been mistaken,” he said flatly, with a tone that indicated he wasn’t debating this. Kaden sighed, trying to let go of some of the tension he was harboring. “Worth shot. Even if I’m not sure that all the monsters of White Crest take a break while the sun is out.”

[lowkey-gt]

part 6 of the ml au, THERE WILL BE AN EPILOGUE AFTER THIS, it became so long but I hope it’s a good finale. Validation gives me life so please do not be afraid to leave comments if you like it I so desperately want to know if you did. THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE AND FOR STICKING AROUND.

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5

tags: handheld, anxious growth, indoor growth, petting, crying (like a lot of crying), reveal

Hi Adrien,

I’m so sorry but I have to cancel our night out. Something extremely important came up that I have to take care of! Please, let’s organise another time to do this, because time spent with you is very important to me. Again sorry for cancelling, and I’ll see you at school tomorrow!

Love your friend, Marinette.

Adrien lies in his bed, reads the message again, even though he’d already read it maybe a hundred times over last night. He should be getting ready for school but he couldn’t stop thinking about her

Now that he knew that she liked him as Adrien, liked him liked him, it changed everything. She hadn’t ever been uncomfortable with his company, she’d just been too nervous to talk to him. She’d said yes to meeting him for a date, gotten dressed up for him. And even when she had cancelled, it was in the most caring way possible — and only because, Adrien thought, something extremely important came up

Chat Noir. Chat was the extremely important thing. And now Adrien couldn’t stop reading the message, because she cared about Chat too, Marinette cared for all of him, and he found himself again staring at the words that said Love your friend, Marinette—

——

Adrien is VERY nearly late for school but makes it, just

He tries to catch Mari’s eye the whole morning, tries to speak with her at lunch, keeps glancing back at her all afternoon, but, she won’t make eye contact with him?? she looks even more uncomfortable than usual

Marinette saw adrien walk in that morning and her brain FLIPPED, of course she didn’t regret helping Chat Noir last night but seeing the boy she’d had to cancel on immediately wracked her with guilt

Also she shared an extremely tender moment with Chat too...she’d never had eyes for anyone but Adrien but suddenly she had to deal with this?? What was chat noir to her, what was she to chat noir?? It was too much and she couldn’t bear to look adrien in the eye even though she very badly wanted to explain everything

—

adrien finally catches her after school. she almost dodges past him but he manages to get close, and marinette can’t ignore the way he calls her name

marinette starts chatting nervously, face flushed, still not looking him in the eye, and as usual she can’t stop herself from rambling even though all she wants to do is shut her mouth and stop talking

adrien listens to her slightly stunned, waiting for his chance to get a word in. god she looked so pretty. he startles himself with the thought, making his own cheeks tinge pink, and quickly tries to refocus on what she was saying to him-

“--so you know it was nothing important! I mean no- of course it was important- but not more important than you! But it was something that I couldn’t miss- so I, uh, guess it kinda was, but I didn’t mean-”

“Marinette.” He sees her almost swallow her tongue as she brakes midway through her sentence. He didn’t want to watch her spin to find excuses about last night - he knew that panic well, of trying to explain what he couldn’t, having to do it every time he would slip away to fight villains as Chat Noir.

“Marinette, it’s okay. I got your message, everything’s fine. I just want to know when you want to hang out again…?”

A long pause between them. Then,

“Why?”

Adrien blinks shocked, extremely thrown by her question. Marinette looks— upset, now? 

“Why would you want to hang out with me?” She flushes a deep red.

“I— I like you, Marinette,” Adrien responds dumbly. “We’re friends right? Friends can hang out?”

“Yes but- you have lots of friends!” Her voice trails up into an almost-squeak. “And such little time in your schedule to spend with them! I don’t get it— I can’t be that interesting to you, you’re just so polite, even after I flaked on you! It’s— It’s okay. We don’t have to reschedule, I’m still so sorry about last night and I was looking forward to it so much I swear but it’s okay you don’t have to waste your time on me again, it’s not what you deserve—”

Marinette is saved from her tirade when Adrien’s hands clasp hers, and she does squeak now, and she looks up to see his green eyes almost burning, his expression pained, and for a split second, she feels like she’s looking at...someone else. But she soon can’t focus on anything except his hands clasping hers, as she turns even redder

“Marinette,” he says for a third time. “Don’t say those things about yourself. You’re generous, kind, fun, of course I want to— ”

Adrien holds back a million more confessions he wants to say to her, things he can’t know, and collects himself. She stares at him, her face red, mouth ajar, as he starts again.

“I know you wanted to be there. You don’t have to explain, or worry about anything. And believe me, I wanted to be there too.” He holds back the bite of guilt he feels in his voice.

“I like you. I want to get to know you better. So please...trust me. Let’s do this again.” He squeezes her hands that little bit more, and gives her a hopeful smile.

Marinette can’t believe what she’s hearing, and also thinks she’s never been more red in her life, but something about the genuine way Adrien smiles at her, makes her...not doubt what he’s saying. Her guilt and worry begin to fade away. She hesitates, then scrunches her eyes, inhales, collects herself — and when she looks up at him again, she’s smiling too. “O-okay.”

Adrien feels his shoulders slump in relief at her answer. His smile widens and he lets out a small laugh.

“So...tomorrow night maybe? Same place?”

“S-sure!” Marinette stammers back, but she’s still smiling. Adrien didn’t think he’d ever get enough of her smile.

“...you really mean it don’t you?” Marinette continues quietly. She felt warm from her head to her toe — Adrien really wanted to spend time with her.

Adrien’s gaze softens. “Of course Marinette.” The way she looks right now makes him want to spill even more tender feelings to her. He’s thinking about last night again. “And you know, it would be a shame if you couldn’t wear that dress out at least once.”

The words are out of his mouth before he’s even realised. Marinette blinks, and then the slightest frown creases her brow. “Huh?”

It hits Adrien like a ton of bricks. Oh, god. His eyes widen, his stomach drops, and he furiously spins for an excuse to follow with. But his mind just freezes.

And then it’s already been too long. 

Marinette’s frown deepens, and he feels her hands start to tighten in his. She watches Adrien’s face change, his mouth dropping open, the colour draining from his cheeks, the panic suddenly flaring up behind his green eyes. 

That panic. She recognises it. She recognises him.

Adrien sees her eyes widen next, her gaze flitting across his features, her mouth making the smallest ‘o’ shape as she stares at him. Stares at Chat Noir.

Adrien’s stomach reaches his feet, and he feels his breath choke in his throat. “Merde.”

——

There is suddenly a HUGE crash and a chorus of screams that breaks the tension between them

Adrien and Marinette spin around to the noises, and through the archway of the schoolyard - now empty except for them - and they spot flashes of light and plumes of smoke from down the street. The telltale signs of an akuma on the loose

Both of them stare for a moment, struck on the spot, then dare glances at each other. Adrien sees Marinette staring in absolute shock, as his throat dries up and leaves him completely speechless

There’s another crash, more screams. Their eyes are locked, and Marinette can’t move. Adrien looks at her like a deer in headlights, and he wants to explain, apologise, tell her a million and one things. But there’s no time.

There was no way out of this one.

He finally swallows. “I-- I have to go.”

And Adrien sprints off down the steps, towards the fighting, leaving Marinette to stare dumbly after him

——

Adrien is FREAKING. OUT.

He’s racing towards the fighting and trying to not have a panic attack but he JUST. REVEALED HIMSELF. TO MARINETTE

He reaches the akuma attack and it’s all he can do to concentrate long enough to transform. By sheer force of will at how badly he’s already messed up today, he keeps his size in check

He’s trying to concentrate on the fighting but all he can think about is Marinette’s face, and how he was going to explain this all, and what she would think of him now, and-

And then Ladybug appears.

He spots her swinging in to join the fray, and oh god. Ladybug. He’d failed Ladybug. The pit in his stomach turns into a gaping hole. How was he even going to look at her

—

Ladybug skids to a stop next to Chat in the street, her heart pounding. She’d been left frozen on the school steps until more screams had snapped her to attention- she’d transformed and chased after him in a frantic blur. She’s trying to push it down but ADRIEN?? IT WAS ADRIEN??? She looks at him, but he’s got his back to her— she thinks he tries to greet her without looking but his voice sounds strangled

She tries to focus on the fight instead, but the events of the last month are flashing through her mind. Adrien. The whole time. Last night. Last night!! When he’d asked to spend time with her, it had been Chat. She’d thought she’d had to let Adrien down by bailing but he’d really been there the whole time- no wonder Chat had seemed so upset when he hadn’t been able to transform back—

She suddenly remembers with a jerk what she had confessed to him last night. She’s grateful her partner seemed to be avoiding looking at her so he wouldn’t see her turn as red as her costume

A blast from the akuma sends her and Chat suddenly flying. They were both so clearly off their game, so clearly out of sync. She had to focus. Glancing at Chat she could see he’d managed to stay the right size, but she didn’t know how long that would last. She gets up and calls on her lucky charm - if there was ever a fight they needed luck for to get them out of alive, it was today’s

Chat is struggling to keep it together. He thinks if he even looks at her he’s going to break. All the guilt and shame from the past few weeks, of not being good enough for her, strong enough for her, he was certain now more than ever it was all true, and could feel himself starting to unravel

There’s a yell and a crash, and he barely looks up in time to see ladybug barrel towards him, scooping him up and protecting him from whatever attack had come his way. They had always done this, embraced each other to save them from danger, but today his entire body seized up as soon as her arms were around him, his skin lighting up like he was on fire

There’s a chaotic moment as they struggle to avoid a barrage of advances from the akuma, which ends when ladybug drags them into the cover of a building - with the exit immediately disappearing behind them under a collapse of rubble and dust

—

Chat can hear Ladybug coughing behind him as they both get to their feet. Temporarily hidden from the akuma and the dangers of the fight, he looks around and realises it’s just them in this room

He’s more aware of her presence than ever. There was nothing to hide behind. No action to distract him from the crushing guilt welling up inside him. His heart flies into his throat at the thought of having to face her

As the dust settles around them in a haze, so too does the fog in his mind he’d been fighting off until now

—

Ladybug coughs out the dust surrounding them, catches her breath, looks at their only exit that had just caved in behind them. She winces, then becomes aware that it’s only her and Chat in here, alone— her heart starts to race at the thought of having to look at him and keep it together, now that she knows—

“Chat-” she starts, trying to compose herself, figure out what to say, but she’s stopped when she notices a shadow moving over her - and then it keeps stretching past her across the floor

She whips around as she hears what she thinks is a choke— and immediately, has to look up. She finds his face, as big green eyes glance down to her unwillingly, and Ladybug suppresses a gasp.

‘Finally,’ a small part of her thinks. Chat’s expression wasn’t masked, wasn’t covered with a pained smile - he looked as he did with her when she was Marinette. But her relief was severely short-lived, to be quickly replaced with dread

He’s already double her height. She takes in his pale face, his trembling body, his eyes wider than she had ever seen them. He looked worse. He looked scared.

“Ladyb—” Chat doesn’t even get her name out before he chokes again, another surge of growth hitting him, and Ladybug has to quickly skid back to give him room. She is suddenly keenly aware of where they are — trapped between four walls, and ‘Marinette’ nowhere in sight — and the danger they would both soon be in if this got out of hand. She looks up at him again and sees his eyes scrunched shut, and she can tell how hard he was trying to keep it under control - but it didn’t seem to be doing much good

“Chat— !” Ladybug tries again, but his eyes stay shut tight. She watches as his head brushes the ceiling and hears him let out a whimper. “Listen to me- you’re okay, it’s-”

A beep suddenly rings out through the room. Ladybug jerks, her hand flying to her earring. Chat’s eyes snap open.

Chat looks down at her, his stomach twisting at how far away she was already. She’d used her lucky charm, and her time was up. She was going to transform back any minute. He sinks to his knees in front of her, unable to stop himself shaking, and she looks up at him almost at a loss.

He’d never felt more like a failure in his life.

“I’m- Ladybug, I’m so sorry,” he gets out, his voice thick in his throat. “I didn’t mean for any of this to—”

Another surge hits him. He gasps and then groans, ducking his head instinctively.

“I’ve— been lying. It’s not— it’s not okay. I haven’t been okay.” He hears his voice crack. “I don’t like this. I know you think it’s fine and you need me to be strong but I- a-aah,”

His head reaches the ceiling again, pressing against it even on his knees. He looks down at Ladybug, craning her head to even look at him, and then hears her earring beep again.

“I can’t control it. I can’t do anything.” He could feel himself spiralling, but he couldn’t stop his thoughts from falling out of his mouth. “You don’t deserve me as a partner. All you do is run around trying to fix my mistakes- and I’ve let you down so many— nnn—!”

Ladybug watches him bend over her, as she furiously tries to figure out what to do. His groans were now loud enough to feel through her body, as he again stretches up and out. Suddenly there’s a clatter and a bang and she jumps, jerking her head to see fallen rubble land too close to her, as his body had knocked and shook the walls around them

She looks back to see his horrified expression, and jumps again as more shadows cast over her - she realises his hands have moved around her, trying to shield her from the debris he was disturbing

Chat’s hands shake as they cup over her, and he hears himself swear under his breath. He crouches down even more, trying to fold in on himself, but almost to spite him he feels his body grow again, filling up the space, and he winces as he hears more rubble fall around him

He looks down to see Ladybug, closer now as he’d hunched over her, and at his hands, around her but not touching her — never touching, he’d been so careful not to ever grab her when he was like this, the thought made him feel sick to his stomach — but as he watches another piece of debris clatter down, and sees the space on the floor for her running out, he feels like this time he may not have a choice

“I— a-aah— oh, god I—,” he whimpers, watching Ladybug look more and more panicked, and he closes his shaking hands in on her. He hesitates, terrified of what he needs to do - but he feels another surge and he caves, and then he’s slipping his hands under her tiny form, scooping her up off the ground. He’s as gentle as he possibly can be, but he still flinches when Ladybug lets out a startled noise as she slips onto his palm, curling her legs into herself

Ladybug looks up at Chat and steadies herself in his hands, feeling him trembling under her as she’s lifted up into the air - he tries to hold her away from him but he’s running out of room, and he has to pull her in nearer until his face is so close it fills her vision

Her earring beeps again, threateningly, the piercing noise sparking a jolt of fear through her, and Chat as well - she watches him cringe at the sound, looking beside himself with guilt. She needed to figure something out. Fast.

“Chat,” she calls up to him, her own voice trembling with concern, “you don’t have to apologise—! You don’t have to say sorry for anything—”

“There’s more,” he chokes, cutting her off, and Ladybug is shocked to see his huge eyes suddenly brim with tears. He sucks in a breath, and she can almost feel him falling apart underneath her.

“I failed you. I didn’t mean it. I— someone found out.” The tears spill out over his mask, and Ladybug stiffens. “Someone knows. About me. I didn’t mean for it to happen, but now—”

Oh, god. Ladybug stares aghast, listening to her partner’s confession. She didn’t know what to say. What on earth could she possibly say.

“And now, even worse—” he continues, his fingers unwittingly curling around her more, “I’m about to put you through the same thing.” 

Chat feels himself run out of room, and barely contains a sob. “I’ve completely failed you, my lady.” Another beep rings out from the earrings - they both knew she only had one more left. Chat scrunches his eyes shut tight. “And I’m so, so sorry.”

Ladybug’s heart is in her throat. Seeing Chat break like this made her heart ache worse than any wound could. She...she had to stop this all. She had to make this right.

Quickly, she pushes herself up - she has to hold onto his thumb to steady herself - and gets to her feet. Chat tries not to wince as he feels her shift in his hand, his heart stammering at the thought of how small she felt, how afraid he was that one tiny slip-up could see him hurt her, and he furiously wills his hands to stop shaking

Ladybug moves forward, almost stumbling on unsteady ground, but with no hesitation now. She looks at Chat - at Adrien - his eyes squeezed tightly shut, his expression wracked with guilt. She watches the tears continue falling down his flushed cheeks, dripping messily onto his tucked legs underneath him. Glancing over him quickly, she thinks his growth had finally slowed - but he was so cramped, so confined in the space, unable to move or do anything but hold her up, and she feels the harsh sting of tears behind her own eyes at seeing him hurting like this

She takes her last few hurried steps forward, and reaches out. Her hands reach his cheek and she rests against him. “Chat,” she calls desperately, and he flinches, hard, almost enough to make her lose her footing. He tries to quail back from her but his head is hemmed in by the ceiling. His eyes only shut on her tighter. “Chat!” Ladybug calls more urgently - and then she feels a rush of grief as he lets out a broken sound.

“I’m not looking,” he whimpers, trying to turn his face away from her. “I promise, Ladybug, I’m not looking, I won’t look—”

“Open your eyes, Chat.”

Chat falters at her tone, at the gentle urgency in her voice, at what she had just said. For a second, a flash of recognition, the silhouette of someone else, passes behind his closed eyes - but then his panic quashes him again, and he shakes his head against her. He feels Ladybug pause. Then her hands shift, and something else touches him - he’s confused for a second before sucking in a sharp breath and realising - it’s her lips, gently pressed against his wet cheek. He shivers, the recognition coming back fiercer now, but before he can search through it, Ladybug pulls back, her hands stroking him with such tenderness, and she calls to him softly one more time.

“I want you to see. Open your eyes, Adrien.”

Chat’s heart stops in his chest. He forgets how to breathe for a second. His face turns back towards her as he feels Ladybug’s hands leave his cheek, and she steps back into his palm.

He opens his eyes as Ladybug’s earring beeps one final time, and she detransforms with a flash.

—

The lights disappear, and then Marinette is standing there, looking up at him. Chat’s eyes go wide and he gasps, he can't help it, the last of his tears trickling down as he stares at her. Marinette watches him watching her, taking her in, and she takes a steadying breath for herself. She sees his fingers twitch, as if he wants to reach them out to her but was frozen in place, still being held back by his fear. She’s trembling herself, a little, but she squeezes her fists and steels her nerves. No more hiding, for either of them. This is what she wants for them. What she wants for him.

Marinette reaches out her arm, and brushes the tip of his finger with her hand. And, like he always did, he bends to her touch - his hand curling into her at her invitation, shifting slowly to cup around her. Chat’s mouth is parted in shock, still staring at her in disbelief - Marinette can see his bottom lip trembling. His thumb reaches up and presses to her cheek, and the touch sends a wave of reassurance through her. Without hesitating she wraps her arm around it, and holds herself close, and the warm feelings from their night on the balcony come flooding back as her face breaks into a shaky smile.

“—I guess I was wrong about you,” she says up to him, and she sees him blink and refocus, as the sentence catches him off guard. She laughs at his confusion and finishes. “Seems like you do have Adrien’s good looks and smile.”

Chat makes a noise in the back of his throat, and then Marinette is filled with relief as he gives her a shocked laugh, his eyes still wide and incredulous. His thumb is stroking down her cheek almost absently, and as Marinette looks up at him, the tension finally melting out of her, she laughs with him - but then feels her own eyes start to brim with tears. Chat’s laughter falters as he watches her, and Marinette feels his hand squeeze around her the tiniest bit more - her only warning before his expression drops and he chokes on a sob, overwhelmed, and ducks his head down, burying his face into her

Marinette throws her arms around him immediately, gripping into his hair as she trembles, as Chat pushes against her and lets out a whine, both his hands wrapping around her to hold her as close as he can. She was squashed against his tear-stained cheek, but she didn’t care - her own tears overflowing as she turns her head into him. He was shaking again with his sobs, and she whispers reassurances to him, caught between laughing and crying, petting and combing through his hair with both hands and letting the relief wash over them both. He seems to catch him breath, and she feels his throat bob as he swallows thickly.

“It’s you-- this whole time-- I can’t believe it’s you--” he’s whispering, and Marinette nods into him. “Marinette you-- and last night and I-- oh--”

“Shh shh shh,” she hushes him, running her hand over the bridge of his nose, and he makes a noise that makes Marinette’s heart sing and he crowds up against her again. “I know. Everything’s okay now. I know.”

Chat manages to glance up at her through his tears and there, that look again, the way he looked at her like she was the world, and she laughs with relief again, resting her forehead on his. She watches his eyes squint closed and she knew everything she had just said wasn’t a lie - after these past few weeks of hell and back, there were no more walls between them, and Chat - Adrien - her partner - her love - they had each other now, and he was going to be okay.

——

EPILOGUE COMING ASAP

[emily-strange]

Second Chances

So with some encouragement, I thought I’d start the John x reader fic I’ve had in my head for ages! I’m not forgetting about my Micah fic at all, for those who care ;) I just really can’t shake this idea. 

For the premise of this story, Jack is a little bit younger. I just can’t hurt that boy’s feelings!

Summary: You're Sadie Adler’s 18 year old daughter who was visiting from school when the O’Driscolls attack. How will you cope with gang life and your increasing feelings for someone who, on the surface, isn’t up for grabs?

Pairing: John Marston x female reader

Warnings: None

Chapter 1

It’s freezing. The world outside blanketed in snow and ice.

Everyone sits huddled into the small Colter shack covered in blankets and large coats; doing whatever they can to stave off the bitter chill that leaks inside.

Mrs Adler is situated between you and Mary-Beth. She cries into her hands and lets the tears drop freely onto her skirt.

“Mama, you have to try and calm down” you say softly. Only to be met with more wailing. You take a deep breath and make your way to the other end of the shack where John, you think his name’s John, lies in a terrible state after his wolf attack.

You can’t help but sigh and rub your forehead, trying to ease the tension that keeps building. You’re pulled out of your thoughts by a croaky voice.

“Things really that bad?” John quietly asks before letting out a small laugh; followed by a hacking cough. You rush to sit on the little stool near his head and ease him up to help him cough better. After he’s done you lower him back down and smile.

“Oh you know. Been better.” you smile softly and place his freezing hands underneath the blanket that’s draped across him.

“Yeah I bet.” is all he can manage to say before wincing and you decide that a bit of light conversation might be a good distraction for you both.

“I just needed to breathe you know? Grief….it’s suffocating at the best of times let alone when you’re stuck with a bunch of strangers. Not that we ain’t grateful! I’m not saying that. Just….it’s….” you trail off struggling to find the right words but John jumps in with an answer.

“It’s like you’re being crushed.” he says and you give him a small, sad smile.

“Yeah…that’s about right….you know I haven’t even cried yet?” you whisper and hang your head in shame. John reaches out his hand from under the blanket and lightly brushes your hand to get your attention.

“Won’t lie. I don’t know everythin’ that brought ya to us, been kinda out of it. But…don’t beat yaself up so much. Can see it in yer eyes….won’t do no good. Ya doin’ all you can ‘n thatsa nuff.” he says through his broken, chapped lips.

You find yourself drawn to his eyes. Beautifully vibrant eyes that tell you he knows all about beating yourself up. You wonder what happened to him.

You give him a tired smile, “How did someone so wise get beaten by some wolves eh?”

It makes you happy inside to see John smile despite the terrible shape he’s in.

“Nah we’re tha same. Not beaten. Justa bit bruised” he huffs out.

Before you can say anything else, the woman who’s been sitting with your mother the most, bursts through the door with her little boy. If you had to guess you’d say he was about 2 or 3. The topic of children has never been one you’ve been interested in. You usually just nod and smile as people discuss them. You’re happier to actually have a chat with the children rather than the parent.

Abigail storms her way over to John and you jump up and out of the way.

“John” she says rather curtly, “the boy wanted to see ya.”

You look at Jack and to be perfectly honest, the kid doesn’t seem interested in the slightest. He’s looking at the blonde woman who’s sat in the corner drinking with an old man. She’s making faces and little Jack is loving it.

Your attention is snapped back when John answers Abigail. You weren’t aware that they’re a family. In all fairness your mind has been elsewhere the last couple of days.

“Yeah, well, now he’s seen me.” John grumbles at her, not even looking at Jack. You can tell that Abigail is instantly pissed off by this.

“Guess I was hoping to see a corpse!” she shouts before walking Jack away to be in front of the fire.

For a moment you stand shocked at what you’ve just seen. It’s clearly a very messy situation and with everything that’s going on, you’re staying far away from it.

John looks at you and you smile awkwardly before moving back to sit with your mother who collapses onto your shoulder. You put your arms around her and rock her back and forth, like she used to do to you as a child.

You can’t help but notice that John is still straining his neck to look at you before giving up and relaxing into the thin cot underneath him.

Days pass and you move on with the gang. The 'Van der Linde’ gang you learn.

You arrive at Horseshoe Overlook and begin helping unload the wagons. You can hear Miss Grimshaw screaming already and the sound cuts right through you. As you’re carrying a large bag over to one of the tents you see Arthur walking away from Dutch. From what you’ve gathered by listening, and what you’ve been told, Arthur is his right hand man.

The bag is taken from your hands and you look up to see your mother.

“Go on” she motions towards Arthur and you smile; jogging off to catch him before he mounts up.

“Umm excuse me, Mr Morgan?” you call out and he stops, turning to look at you. He genuinely seems like a nice man. Fatherly almost. You’ve not seen him lose his temper yet as you have with the other men. Well, other than kind Hosea of course.

“Yes, Miss Adler, what can I do fer you?” he asks and you smile.

“Y/N. Please.” you say and he nods, saying in that case you’re to call him Arthur. You nod.

“Okay, Arthur. Well I was wondering if you could put in a good word with Dutch for me?” you start, “See, my skills don’t really lie with sewing and washing. I’m happy to do that of course, you’ve all been so kind to me and my mom. I just….I’m a really good hunter.”

“Is that so?” Arthur says smirking, but not unkindly.

“Yeah. Living where we did, I had to be.” you laugh.

You don’t see it, but Arthur looks across the camp and see’s your mother watching you both. She nods and mouths “please”. He subtly nods back.

“Well, hows about this. The woman’ve been yappin’ at me that they’re bored. So when I get back from runnin’ this errand, I’ll take you all inta town 'nd we’ll get some supplies. We’ll go huntin’ and if I like what I see I’ll talk ta Dutch.” he smiles and turns to mount onto his horse.

You smile a real smile for the first time in what feels like forever.

“Thank you Mr..Arthur” you say correcting yourself.

“No problem. Now, go help out before Miss Grimshaw gets ta ya” Arthur chuckles before riding out of camp.

As you walk back toward your mom you hear a grown from inside a large tent. Curiosity gets the better of you and you glance inside to see John struggling to turn over on his cot.

“Hey, need a hand?” you ask quietly as to not make him jump.

“Ya know what. A hand would be mighty helpful” he laughs and you cant help but laugh too when you see the mess he’s gotten himself into trying to get comfortable.

However while entering the tent you can clearly see that John’s only wearing his union suit without the blanket covering him.

“Umm” you clear your throat, “Maybe I should go get Abigail?” you say trying to avoid looking in his general direction. You point outside of the tent and move to exit before John jumps in.

“God, no. Please just….just help me shift downa bit. Please?” John sounds so fragile and you just can’t find it in you to refuse him. You meet his eyes and fight a smile.

“Okay” you say and go over to help him move down the cot. He gets his legs into a comfortable position and holds onto your arm while you use your other one to support his upper-back. Once John’s comfy you find yourself just watching his relaxed face.

“Ah thanks. Much better.” he sighs and you smile.

You take a moment to study John in the light of his open tent. The scars on his face are healing well but still look sore and angry, as do his bruises. He looks almost frail. There wasn’t much to eat up in the mountains, everyone seems a bit gaunt but having been missing for so long John seems to be the worst.

John snaps you out of your trance.

“Haven’t seen much of ya.” he notes.

“Um, yeah, you know. Its all been a bit manic” you laugh humorlessly.

“I was uh, kinda worried Abigail said sumthin’ to ya.” he adds awkwardly.

That takes you aback.

“What? Um no….no she hasn’t said anything” you say quickly while glancing through the gap in the tent flaps. You can see Abigail ushering Jack into their newly designated area of camp. Your eyes snap back to John as he manages to prop himself up on his elbows.

“He….he ain’t mine.” he starts and you find yourself fiddling with your hands, “She tells everyone he is. 'nd I got nothin’ against the kid but….he ain’t mine.”

This really is none of your business. But you can’t help the feeling of butterflies in your stomach.

“Why…why would she lie?” you ask quietly but before he can answer, the flaps of the tent are pulled open.

“John!” Abigail shouts before coming to a sudden halt in front of you. Your eyes go wide and you can’t help but stutter like a child who’s been caught stealing candy.

“I…was just helping…John….but I um” you say quickly.

“But you was just leavin'” Abigail finishes for you which John admonishes her for.

“Abby for God’s sake” he starts but you cut him off.

“No, I was just leaving. B…bye John.” you say even quicker and give a clearly angry Abigail a small, awkward smile as you sneak past her. She doesn’t give you any extra room so you have to make yourself as small as possible to get past.

Soon as you’re on the other side of the tent she drops the flaps and starts whispering harshly to John. You stand for a few seconds trying to work out what they’re saying before you give up and make your way over to your mom.

“You okay baby?” your mom asks when you join her on a large rock just outside camp.

“Oh yeah. Fine.” you sigh and rub your tired face.

“You weren’t made to be cooped up like this” your mom says before she starts crying again, “I’m sorry this happened”.

“Oh mama don’t say that” you say before hugging your mother tight, “We’ll be okay.”

You hold your mother as she cries. Rocking her back and forth, all the while watching as Abigail storms back out of John’s tent. She catches your eye and you look away from her. You can’t deal with all this drama right now. You have to get yourself back on your feet; to start rebuilding your mothers life. The one that was so cruelly taken from her.

“We’ll be okay,” you repeat quietly.

[marybeatriceofmodena]

TFW when you try to do Anastasia but you also suck at your job: A Master Class by The Rise of Skywalker

Okay. So, I promised you guys a TROS review, and it’s coming, I promise… except I’ll be making two “spin-off posts” about specific issues just in order to clear up some stuff, mainly because in my mind, those issues are important.

First post is going to be, of course, about Rey’s parentage.

So. After TFA, it would have been possible for Rey to have been the kid of “someone”. However, TLJ made it impossible to do so, unless you’d have some serious, bullshit retconning going on – which is exactly what happened.

I know this is a VERY controversial thing to say at this point, but post-TFA, Rey Palpatine “could” have been possible. Okay, maybe not have her be Palpatine’s granddaughter, but more of a descendant of his.

This said, I “tried” making an origin story for Rey Palpatine that “works” for the purposes of this meta, on a hypothetical basis, while making it consistent with canon (something JJ Abrams and Chris Terrio clearly couldn’t be bothered to do, LMAO). I had plotholes no matter what. I do think I could have eventually found something with a little bit of brainstorming, but truth is, IT’S HARD, and a lot of exposition would have been for novels/comics only.

From a thematic perspective, though? It wouldn’t have been a bad idea. For this to work, though, you would have needed to go on full-blown Romeo and Juliet mode with sprinkles of Anastasia, though. I mean, The Lion King 2 did something similar, so why the fuck not. Because, yeah, Ben Solo, the grandson of Darth Vader, son of Han Solo and Leia Organa, the last prince of Alderaan, who falls in love with the last Imperial princess Rey Palpatine while they’re on opposite sides of the war but not the ones you’d think of is the stuff of fairy tales and star-crossed romances, except this one would have a happy ending and brought peace to the galaxy.

Truth be told, I still really enjoy fanfics who go for that story and find a way to make it work in canonverse or in AUs – because it’s genuinely fun. But in canon itself, as I point out earlier… it’s not easy.

So, we have Rian Johnson who said he made a list of potential origins for Rey while he was working on TLJ’s script. You bet Rey Palpatine was on that list. However, he came to the conclusion that Rey Nobody was the best way to go, and whatdyaknow, he made the right call.

Why? Rey Nobody requires minimal exposition. Storytelling-wise, you don’t have a lot of brainstorming to do, and it’s easy to have Ben revealing it, and easy to present it as a repressed memory of Rey’s. On a thematic level, that puts Rey on the same level as Jane Eyre or the main character from Rebecca: she’s a nobody from nowhere who is thrown into a family drama, and since she’s the glitch in the matrix, she must stop the story from becoming a tragedy.

See? Simple. You got your easy exposition, you got your thematic coherence, and you got the literary call-backs.

So, JJ and Terrio decided to retcon this shit because, as they said, they thought it was boring. I think Colin Trevorrow probably thought it was boring too, because I have my reasons to think a lot of TROS is from him (but more on that in my main review). But thing is, it’s not it’s “boring”, it’s literally that they didn’t know what the fuck to do with Rey. No, more than that, they don’t understand her, and frankly, they can’t be bothered to do so. She’s an empty vessel they can toy with at their ease, and in the process, turn her in a Mary-Sue. Because yes, TROS!Rey was a Mary-Sue, whereas TFA/TLJ!Rey was not. So, what I say above regarding Rey might be a bomb for some, considering how people are (understandably) defensive when it comes to that statement. I promise I will elaborate more about it in the main review, once again.

So, with the lineage aspect addressed, it’s time to talk about Rey’s parents themselves.

It’s hilarious how HARD JJ and Terrio tried to make Kylo’s explanation work – because as much as they butchered the shit out of him, they said: “Well he’s a bad liar, right? Gotta keep that in mind.”

Although, I don’t think it was a case of them being concerned with Kylo’s characterization – they’re not that graceful. They had to figure out QUICK why the hell Kylo wouldn’t have known Rey was a Palpatine from the get-go, because the Force is a great DNA test and shit, and I guess that’s how Palps located Ben’s Mighty Skywalker Blood™. Except that still doesn’t work because Palps couldn’t even locate his own goddamn granddaughter, but I digress.

Seriously, why would Kylo lie to Rey about her being a nobody instead of her being a Palpatine? It makes no sense, because if you’re going to roll with the theory Kylo just wants UNLIMITED POWAH, the Palpatine princess is not only a great asset (since marrying her legitimizes your claim to the throne in the eyes of the Imperial Remnants, I mean, that’s literally why Henry VII married Elizabeth of York), it’s also the one argument she needs to hear in order to sway her to your side. So I guess JJ and Terrio’s one shared brain cell kinda flicked a bit at that moment.

This said, getting the Palpatine princess on his side is clearly Kylo’s intention in TROS (which, again, makes no sense with what was set up in TLJ but that’s something I’m keeping for another post), except they trip all over themselves by having Kylo say he didn’t lie to Rey in TLJ. Except…

So, what Ben said in TLJ was the following:

Her parents sold her for drinking money.

They’re dead and buried in a pauper’s grave somewhere on Jakku.

Rey is related to no one.

Here’s what Ben reveals to Rey in TROS:

Her parents sold her for her protection.

They died on another planet, while being hunted down by a guy working for Palpatine and instructed to bring Rey back to them.

Rey’s dad is a Palpatine and Rey’s mom is Villanelle (nah, for real: the actress who plays Rey’s mom is Jodie Comer).

So, um, yeah, it’s the EXACT opposite of what Ben said in TLJ. Just say Palps was fucking with Ben’s mind-reading or Rey’s memories instead, JJ. Not that “Oh Ben was telling the truth, but he didn’t have the whole story”, because that’s not it.

For the latter, once again, it would have been feasible: the one thing, for me, that was possible to be added was that Rey had killed her parents accidentally, by having their ship to leave Jakku crash down with the Force: that’s what made her Force powers go dormant for all those years and provoked her trauma. It would also make sense that Ben would willfully not bring that back to her memories, because she’d understandably not be able to cope with the truth, which is often what happens to a lot of trauma victims. THAT was the theory I had pre-TROS, because that’s the only answer I could come up with when it came to JJ saying that there was more to Rey’s past. I guess I expected JJ to be, like, actually able to write, lmao.

I even wonder if that was actually in the cards, considering we see Rey in TROS bringing down a transport that supposedly has Chewie in it… but I guess they deemed that to be “too dark” for their heroine. Except the bullshit that comes instead is actually… much worse.

To make things simple, I’ll just take the above points and develop them.

Rey’s parents sold her for her protection.

Okay, so, Rey’s parents need to hide her to make sure Palps doesn’t get his hands on her. Fair enough. This said, why did it have to be Jakku and not, like, ANYWHERE ELSE? Especially that Palpatine had interest in Jakku at some point and that maybe having Rey anywhere close to that place would not be a good idea?

But let’s play the game and say that Jakku is the only place they can hide her because… I don’t know, it’s hard to find someone there with the Force. Whatever. Even then, why the fuck would they think Unkar Plutt is a proper guardian for a tiny little girl? You know they could have walked a few miles more and found a nice old man who likes the Light Side of the Force and the Jedi and all that shit called Lor San Tekka? Hey, why not even try to find a guy like Luke Skywalker who’s like, a Jedi and shit, and have him take care of their little girl and protect her? 

Even then, why the hell doesn’t Rey’s mom stay with her daughter? Her husband is the Palpatine, not her. All Rey’s mom has to do is find a nicer hiding place for her and Rey somewhere on Jakku, like, not Niima Outpost (again, Tuanul is just a few miles away), and just let Dad hide somewhere else. He’s a grownass man, he can take care of himself and he just has to hide on Nar Shaadaa or some shit. Fuck, why don’t all three of them hide on Nar Shaadaa? Or in the Coruscant undercity? ANYWHERE ELSE?

Also, wouldn’t Plutt clearly see two desperate parents as a business opportunity? Like, if you want to do a Les Misérables comparison here, he wouldn’t “buy” Rey from them, he’d try to get money for them à la Thénardier with Fantine. Except Rey’s parents make Fantine look like frigging Einstein because at least she had the excuse of thinking Madame Thénardier would take good care of Cosette since Éponine and Azelma seemed well-cared for.  

Again, a creepy-looking alien who exploits the outpost’s inhabitants for portions in exchange for junk, who asks you to pay him to take care of your kid should be a big fucking red flag – unless you want to involve blackmail, but that’s a whole other can of worms.

Seriously, why the hell would Rey’s parents even ACCEPT money that comes from selling their own child? Were they really that desperate? Fuck, even if I had no other way of getting off Jakku, I wouldn’t even THINK of using money that comes from selling my own child. Any parent who’d even CONSIDER doing that is automatically a godawful parent in my book. Shame on you. And shame on JJ for trying to make me buy them as saints, because THEY’RE NOT, JUST BY THAT SINGLE ACTION.

They died on another planet, while being hunted down by a guy working for Palpatine and instructed to bring Rey back to them.

I didn’t notice it until Jenny Nicholson pointed it out in her TROS review, because it SOMEHOW completely escaped my notice, but… Rey’s mom saying Rey is DEFINITELY NOT on Jakku is like the worst fucking lie I’ve ever seen in a film because it’s so hilariously bad. Congratulations, Space Villanelle, may you be forever remembered for this line.

Also, it’s stupid af that Oshi (that’s his name, right? Can’t be bothered to Google it, might just call him Barney the Bounty Hunter from now on) just kills Rey’s parents, because HE’S EVUL MUAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA, because he literally creates a dead end for himself. He still has no fucking clue where Rey is, and he just killed off his only leads. CONGRATULATIONS BARNEY THE BOUNTY HUNTER, YOU SUCK AT YOUR JOB.

Rey’s dad is a Palpatine and Rey’s mom is Villanelle.

So, Rey’s dad looks like he’s in his early thirties at most, right? Maybe a little younger than Luke and Leia, then. So, unless he got frozen in carbonite at some point, that means Palpatine fucked at some point while looking like this:

Anyway, I sure hope Sly Moore was Grandma Palpatine because she’s pretty much the only person who’d be game to smash raisin ass. Which leaves me with extremely disturbing pictures of Palps and Sly having sex, so I’ll spare you the more graphic details of my twisted mind that’s screaming for an end to this misery. 

I sure hope having Rey’s mom as Jodie Comer isn’t a clue that we’ll get spin-offs with those two (GOD PLEASE NO), but while I crack jokes about how Rey’s mom is Villanelle and Palpadad kinda looks like Ramsay Bolton… I find it fucking hilarious they dressed Rey’s mom in BLUE. LIKE, SEE? SEE? SHE’S IN BLUE, LIKE THE VIRGIN MARY, BECAUSE REY IS SPACE JESUS!!!! GET IT??? GETIT???? PLEASE TELL ME YA GET IT, OKAY???? *gross sobbing* I knew we should have had Rey born in a manger, that would have made the artistic intentions clear *wipes tear*

All right. There’s a lot more that could be said about Rey’s lineage, but I’m keeping that for my main review because what’s left to say ties up to the bigger picture. What I tried to point out with this preliminary post is that while Rey Palpatine *could* have worked, in different circumstances, it couldn’t have had post-TLJ… and we’re left to see a mutilated horse who was dead on arrival. And that’s tragic.

[aqvarius]

I never really cared for MD Always on Call. At first it was legitimately because of the art style. I hated it and the MC looked like she was 15 instead of whatever her actual canon age is. But then the story came out and the MC seemed like they tried to make her “quirky” but instead they made her obnoxious. Also, none of the LI caught my attention, but that’s mainly a minor detail.

you know what... this is such a controversial ask but i agree with so much of it hahahaha and i’m almost afraid to post bc i’m worried it’ll drum up drama bc i know this is an unpopular opinion as a whole. soooo once again, usual disclaimer: please don’t let my opinions affect your enjoyment of any titles or characters! we all have different preferences and different ways of engaging and relating to games, stories and characters. 

but anyway yeah with that said, i agree. i’m kind of putting together my personal preference ranking of voltage title art styles for an ask (but..... there are so many games and factors to consider that it’s gonna take a while, plus i’m flying tomorrow so answer is delayed, sorry anon who sent that ask!!). and i have such mixed feelings about rmd. on one hand, i kinda like the character designs and i find the love interests can sometimes be really good looking and i like their sprites mostly (except for.. t-rex....). 

like in the promo image:

to me, they all look really good here (ESPECIALLY hosho and ekuni) except for t-rex takado. but i actually really like takado’s normal sprites, except the one where his face is kind of turned to the side a bit bc then he turns into a t-rex again..... 

but i really........... really dislike the mc sprite. i think in jp rmd, before you enter the route, you have the option to choose whether to have the mc sprite or not and i’m glad that when they brought it to l365, they just defaulted to not have her there bc you’re right, she legit looks 15 and this is so stupid of me but i can’t stand her eyebrows hahahha. it’s such a weird gripe but i also always cringe at her hairstyle bc i had that hairstyle both as a kid and as an accident about 5 years ago but also hers is so choppy/uneven???? i’m really #Shallow and i don’t really talk about this much bc it’s not like actual analytical discussion of the issues i have with her character buuuuuuut yeah i don’t like her sprite. and when i see rmd CGs with her in it i’m just like sigh this again???? i really don’t like the takado happy end CG where he’s kissing her bc (1) he looks like a t-rex (2) he looks like he’s kissing a teenager alskdfs it squicks me out. and i also hate the epilogue 2 CG bc it’s literally so low effort, come on voltage. maybe i’m just kinda picky but to this day, i actually don’t like any of the rmd CGs except for the first takado CG (the one where he’s yelling). 

it’s such a shame because i actually do like the love interests? they have good chemistry and banter with each other, and i kind of wish the title was more about regular hospital life and less dramatic bc it’s honestly like... tiring... that they all have to be traumatised in one way or another. i genuinely think they could just be regular hot doctors at a hospital and still have compelling stories but it just seems like all their trauma comes from events that are only adjacent to their jobs. also it was so sad bc takado is so much more fun in other people’s routes than his own... they really did him dirty. i secretly love him but i don’t like his content bc he has zero romantic chemistry with his mc. literally all they had to do was copy kaga/mc’s dialogue/routes word for word and i would happily spend all the hearts on him but uhh..... life can’t always go my way i guess. 

and yeah i’ve said my piece multiple times about the mc so i won’t go over it again too much (bc i’m afraid lmao) but i cannot read any romance md reviews on the app bc all of them are gushing over “omg finally an mc with brains!!” as if old voltage mcs haven’t been smart or creative or talented??? she is just a mary sue!! but also yeah i find her brand of quirkiness strikes me as rude rather than sassy/smart a lot of the time just because there doesn’t feel like there’s a balance between sincerity and empathy and having a smart mouth (unlike, for example, enchanted in the moonlight where she’s a cute and sweet girl but also knows when and how to shut those idiot airhead ayakashi down)

[comicteaparty]

December 18th-December 24th, 2019 Reader Favorites Archive

The archive for the Reader Favorites chat that occurred from December 18th, 2019 to December 24th, 2019.  The chat focused on the following question:

What tropes and/or clichés are you perfectly fine with seeing in the webcomics you read?

Deo101

Like all of the cutesy cheesy relationship tropes. I love them all and I always will! Plenty more, but I find myself getting caught up in the relationship tropes the most. Specifically friends to lovers, but I also really like the found family trope. I know there are more tropes that I love but I can't think of them off the top of my head, so I'll probably just agree with others as the week goes on

indogswetrust

pass me the slow burn romance please thaaaanks

Deo101

that one too. Also hurt/comfort. Pump those into my VEINS they are my lifeblood... I shamelessly put every trope I want into my work so I can't judge other people for doing the same

indogswetrust

i’m trash

I’ve become more sssssophisticated as I’ve gotten older but I know what I like in a webcomic.

And it’s Adorable Behavior (tm)

Deo101

I've gotten less sophosticated. I thought I got more sophisticated but turns out I just got less shameful about the things i like

indogswetrust

Haha

I mean I used to really be fixated on comedy and now I’m more okay with things being ambiguous and complex? Ingress is a good example. I might have put it down two years ago but now I wanna see where Spicer and Toivo’s journey takes them

Fixated isn’t the exact word. whatever

Deo101

No I get you! Realizing you like more than just one thing and expanding your horizons is really important!

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

I love the enemies-to-lovers trope. Any time a pair of characters goes from ‘I hate your guts’ to ‘take me now’ I’m loving it. That is, so long as one of them wasn’t being outright abusive during their ‘hate’ phase.

indogswetrust

Man that’s a delicate balance but also

Deo101

^ Fully agree. I just get a little too anxious about the "enemies" side of thing and worry they wont fully grow into lovers I guess! But if it's done well, Its an especially good one

carcarchu

i second the enemies-to-lovers thing i will never get enough of that trope

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

thirded

if I even smell a hint of it in a story, provided it's not overtly violent or abusive or otherwise horrible... I am hooked

kayotics

Fourthed... it’s a good trope

keii4ii

Now I feel like the odd one out for being neutral toward that trope. I definitely enjoy good examples of it, but otherwise completely neutral?

Evolving relationships is a good thing in general though, and enemies to lovers does fall in that category.

keii4ii

I have a soft spot for long lost superadvanced civilizations being unearthed. While it doesn't guarantee I'll fall in love with the story, it WILL grab my attention and at least get me to check it out.

renieplayerone

I dont really have any strong opinions on any tropes, but theres a really good channel on youtube that goes through and critiques tropes. I find it really useful for writing. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLDb22nlVXGgcljcdyDk80bBDXGyeZjZ5e

keii4ii

(Please don't let my weirdness ruin anyone's enjoyment of the trope though, lol. I'm all for celebrating what you like! was just genuinely wondering if I'm the only one who's neutral about it!)

keii4ii

Also not an overarching story trope, but more like a type of a scene... I really like this thing (if this is a trope please tell me what it's called XD) A, B, C are friends. A and B are bffs. C is not as close. B talks to C about this while A is away. This is an honest conversation, not a malicious one. B learns to see A in a way they hadn't before, and it strengthens the B-A friendship. I'm not likely to start reading a story just because I know it contains this scene. But if a story I already like has this scene, it is likely to be my favorite scene!(edited)

I guess part of the reason why I like it so much is, it shows that the relationship (the B-A one in this case) is not insular. It's a real relationship between real people, who also have relationships outside of it, and the relationships have an influence on each other.

(And that's a lot of "relationship"s in a paragraph...)

eli [a winged tale]

Positive relationships and healthy navigations between relationship and life problems are my jam The enemies to lovers trope can be gripping because you get an additional conflict on top of tension. I thought the novel Red White & Royal Blue did a good job at that. Grant Snyder did a trope bingo for murakami and I thought it was fun to do the same for my works in progress. For reference: the murakami one https://www.google.com/amp/s/news.avclub.com/here-s-how-to-play-haruki-murakami-bingo-as-you-read-hi-1798271345/amp

keii4ii

omg

I NEED TO MAKE THIS for me/ comics I read

I mean I don't have a whole lot of stories, but it would be interesting to see what kind of common items get checked off across mine + my favorite comics combined

Capitania do Azar

wow I've been thinking about it a lot and I'm having a very hard time selecting the tropes I like best... I'm more of a "I know what I don't like and taking that aside I like being surprised"

Cronaj

All I can say is... Red Oni, Blue Oni (https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RedOniBlueOni). This trope is seriously so good. My favorite thing about this trope is that the "Red Oni," or the hot-headed one, and the "Blue Oni," the cold or level-headed one, can be either friends or enemies. So it makes for a beautiful dynamic no matter what type of story it is. Buddy cops, competitors in the workplace, brothers, enemies, the straight man and the fool, you name it. Typically these characters are foils of each other, and their differencesbalways make for exceedingly fun interactions. Another favorite trope of mine, which I don't really know the name of, is where the seemingly hot/handsome guy is actually a dork who has no idea what he's doing. Everyone in the story thinks he's done everything, but really he's just a dopey, niave possibly shy and definitely clumsy virgin. But the social awkwardness only makes him inexplicably more appealing to the other lead. Cute

Ah! Another trope I have to add because it's basically my crack: Androids Are People, Too (https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AndroidsArePeopleToo). I have loved this trope since before Detroit: Become Human, but the game certainly rekindled my love for it. Very genre-specific, but AI fascinate me to no end, whether it's in the real world, or in Sci-Fi.

eli [a winged tale]

Haha Cronaj are you me? Contrasting characters and robots who have feelings can get me hooked straight away

indogswetrust

lemme tell y’all about a trope I’ve noticed: the crazy lesbian. Like, The Favorite and Killing Eve and that Netflix movie about the violinists. Whoof. I am so tired of that

Cronaj

Hahahaha! I dunno maybe. I also have a protagonist in one of my novels named Eli.

eli [a winged tale]

The cute nerd who is fumbling but appeared to have it all together may lean towards the Mary Sue for me but if there is a true flaw (Tm) then I’m down

indogswetrust

I feel like gay men characters have been getting humanized and happy endings and that’s awesome! But lesbians have not been getting the same treatment.

bumbling and romantically inept nerds fuel me

eli [a winged tale]

What do you mean about the lesbian part, indogswetrust? I’m curious to know of the differences as I’m currently writing both

Cronaj

@eli [a winged tale] YES. I'm not gonna lie, I have definitely used more than one of these tropes XD And one of them may or may not be the fumbling hottie...

eli [a winged tale]

I wanted to link my trope bingo but thought it went against the pinned rules I can DM it to you if you’re interested and I’d love to play everyone else’s bingos

Cronaj

Oh hell yes. Lesgooooooo!

I have never made a trope bingo, but I really should

indogswetrust

Like, Love, Simon or Call Me By Your Name show gay men as people slowly falling in love and it’s tender and kind. But The Favorite literally has animal abuse in it and women sleeping with each other for power. I walked out of the theater. Same for Killing Eve, it’s about a spy and a murderer. High intrigue and drama but it’s obviously a toxic relationship from the premise

eli [a winged tale]

Oh no! You should check out Their Story by Tan Jiu)

It’s formatted like a webcomic as well though formally called manhua. It does the slow burn romance, humanizing aspect very well. I’m not well versed in the mainstream portrayal but certainly on the indie side, people are stepping up and writing very positive and healthy lesbian stories

indogswetrust

The indie side is great. Even “The Sea In You” (a webcomic) is frickin adorable

It just grinds my beans about mainstream portrayal

eli [a winged tale]

Loving the sea in you!

RebelVampire

A trope I will never get sick of is https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EverythingsBetterWithPrincesses , especially if https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ReallyRoyaltyReveal this is what happens in the story. I just...I really love royalty. I can't help it. I love the pointless traditions, the fancy dresses, the palaces, etc.. And even if that's not part of it, I still like it when some rando girl realizes that she's a princess and now has to deal with that idea that she has subjects she has to protect or something. Bonus points if she's a magical girl. I even like it when it's a reverse situation where it's an evil princess. I will never tire of princesses ever because the concept is always fascinating to me no matter which way its spun.

eli [a winged tale]

I love the fanciness of it all. All those lovely eye candy designs

Cronaj

Same... I have also used the Really Royalty Reveal, like..... Several times

eli [a winged tale]

The royal reveal when done well can be so powerful and validating

Kelsey (Kurio)

I have a queen ant character but no princesses yet

Eightfish

ooh are we talking about tropes we like? I really like mind reading/ mind control. But consensual. It's feels like the theme of trust taken to the extreme, where a character has such belief in someone they'd trust their mind / body to them. But I've only really seen it in some kid's books I liked (Young Wizards, Animorphs), and the only webcomic I've seen with this idea is my own, and I haven't even gotten to that part yet. Anyone have any recommendations? Ooh or a tvtropes link?

Erin Ptah (BICP 🎄 Leif & Thorn)

It comes up in the Murderbot Diaries -- the main character is a construct, basically a really-advanced android, and there are times when it lets a more-powerful AI pilot its body to handle an emergency that's unfolding too fast for it to keep up with on its own.

Eightfish

I looked it up and I do like the themes of androids' humanity. And it's a series of novellae, which, wow, that's very rare. Not sure I've ever seen that before. Do you recommend the book as a whole?(edited)

Erin Ptah (BICP 🎄 Leif & Thorn)

I recommend the whole series, yes!

[ahouseoflies]

The Best Films of 2018, Part II

Part I is here. Let’s keep it moving. ENDEARING CURIOSITIES WITH BIG FLAWS

103. Zama (Lucretia Martel)- In this movie there's a motif of Zama, an officer of the 18th century Spanish Empire, starting a scene by talking to someone or staring at someone off camera. After a minute or two, the camera cuts to some servant and disorients us. There's a person there, always there, to serve him, and it doesn't really matter who it is. It's a brilliant way to get at the colonialism that the character depends on but is still trapped by. So I get a little bit of what the film is trying to do, but it's boring. I'm an ignorant person who doesn't know how to watch Lucretia Martel's films or have any context for South American history, but I know what boring is. 102. I Feel Pretty (Abby Kohn and Marc Silverstein)- I like that Schumer tried something different instead of falling back on her persona, but there isn't enough new or interesting here for me to recommend--besides National Treasure Michelle Williams, of course. The film nearly displays "Do you see that she's turning her back on her real friends now?" on the screen. 101. A Simple Favor (Paul Feig)- At times cheeky and sexy and juicy, but it still wears out its welcome by twists ninety-one and ninety-two. 100. Double Lover (Francois Ozon)- Diverting until it gets silly, then so silly that it gets diverting again. There are about five too many twists, and I'm still unclear on how seriously the film takes any of those twists. More importantly, I don't think there's much of a takeaway from any of it. Ozon seems to have found a real muse in Marine Vacth though. 99. Borg Vs. McEnroe (Janus Metz Pedersen)- As a Shia Pet, I felt obligated to see his portrayal of Johnny Mac. I didn't learn anything that I didn't already know from this mediocre biopic though. Watch the documentary McEnroe/Borg: Fire & Ice instead. 98. Ralph Breaks the Internet (Rich Moore and Phil Johnston)- There's some clever visualization of the the Internet, such as the way that a link shuttles an avatar off in a transparent car or the way that shady newsboy types whisper about pop-up ads. And I liked a lot of the Disney tie-in stuff that critics are wincing at. As far as textbook screenwriting goes, it's great at that idea of making you think that the protagonists will accomplish their goal very easily, only to have them be re-directed to square one. The voice acting is top-notch. Why do these movies get so plotty though? I felt as if the internal logic started getting inconsistent about halfway through--at the same time that the first one got bogged down with candy stuff instead of 8-bit video game stuff. And if there are so many lovable characters from the first entry, why do we get such tiny servings of them here? The movie's too long already, but what I wouldn't give for an occasional cut back to Fix-It Felix raising some kids.

97. We the Animals (Jeremiah Zagar)- The Tree of Life is one of my favorite movies, and on its face, We the Animals is a really similar impressionistic memory. So why do I like it half as much? Are lighting and music that important? Is Jessica Chastain? Is latent racism? All I know is that this felt like a story I had seen before pitched at the same intensity for a running time I was happy to see expire. 96. Kodachrome (Mark Raso)- The three leads are all pretty good. (Ed Harris does this bashful, pulling-on-his-eyelid thing that killed me.) But with mathematical precision, the film matched each element I liked with another thing that infuriated me. Specifically, the whole plot hinges on one scene, and that scene is preposterous and alien to human behavior. 95. Deadpool 2 (David Leitch)- The pacing of these movies is bizarre to me; they're half-over before they really get started. No one else is bothered by the fact that Cable has no motivation or backstory for the first hour? Some of the connections to X-Men felt more forced this time around, but I thought this entry was much funnier than the first, even mixing in some more subtle visual gags. (The exotic locales montage ending in Biloxi really got me.) I have to give credit to the X-Force parachute sequence, which is audacious and unexpected. And clear out for Zazie Beetz, who is a huge star in the making. 94. At Eternity’s Gate (Julian Schnabel)- Something about Van Gogh was essentially unknowable, which is a great reason to make a movie about him and a terrible reason to make a movie about him. I'm not sure that Julian Schnabel got to the bottom of the man any better than anyone else has, though maybe that's an unfair expectation. To his credit, Schnabel yada-yadas the ear business and Van Gogh's death in favor of his more poetic understanding of the artistic life. The movie doesn't coalesce for me, but there's a banger of a scene between Dafoe and Mads Mikkelsen about the responsibility an artist has toward God. That short nested inside makes the whole thing worth seeing. The conversation I had afterwards with one of the two other people in the theater, an art historian, was a solid three stars. 93. Bohemian Rhapsody (Bryan Singer)- Some biographical movies do a good job of compressing time, and their supporting characters don't feel sacrificed or glossed over. For many other mediocre ones though, including this one, I submit the Three Scene Rule. Three scenes is kind of the minimum for a character to register an arc and for an actor to present any kind of dynamic performance, so in a lot of these true story movies, that's all that a supporting character gets. If you're looking for it, it's glaring. (Watch Hidden Figures again with the husband and boyfriend characters in mind. I'll wait.) This movie has a few characters that matter: Freddie Mercury, obvs; the other Queen members; Paul Prenter, the unfairly composited villain; and Mary Austin, the platonic love of Mercury's life. The movie spends way too much time on her, as if to tease the audience with the idea that Freddie might be straight. As for everyone else? Three scenes. Ray Foster, the record executive played by Mike Myers (!): A. "Look, guys, I like formulas. This opera stuff you're talking about? That sounds crazy." B. "The opera stuff is crazy. I ain't making that the single. You can walk out of here for all I care." C. [hangs head in shame after being proven wrong] Jim Hutton, Freddie's partner for the seven years this movie doesn't care about: A. "Look, pal, I may be a waiter, but you can't just grab me like that. On second thought, let's talk. You should learn how to love yourself." B. "Oh, hey. Glad you tracked me down, slugger. You love yourself now? Sure, let's go meet your parents." C. "Guess I'm your boyfriend now. Looking forward to the show." Freddie's Parents: A. "You go out every night! What are you doing out there? Why can't you be a good boy? What's up with your new name?" B. "Why can't you be a good boy? What's up with your new name?" C. "You're a good boy, I guess, even if you're gay. Guess that's your name for real." I like the idea of reproducing the Live Aid performance in full, and the movie comes alive during its musical sequences. But I wish that the same attention given to, like, the number of Pepsi cups on the piano was also given to the nuts and bolts of the storytelling.

92. The Predator (Shane Black)-  I get why other people don't like this. The final fourth feels obligatory, and it seems cut to the verge of incoherence. But if you don't get a little tingle out of a game cast saying Shane Black things like, "Predators don't just sit around making hats out of rib cages," then we are very different moviegoers.

91. Sorry to Bother You (Boots Riley)- I admire Boots Riley's ambition, the way he's taking many of the ideas that drove his music and channeling them into film. But there are too many ideas and, strangely, too much plot to cohere. I liked some of the jokes, especially the Robocop-py TV clips laced throughout. I think my main problem, however, is Lakeith Stanfield as Cassius. He's a fascinating actor, but his energy is completely wrong for an everyman lead like this. I don't think he was the right choice to carry it. 90. Thoroughbreds (Cory Finley)- The repartee at the beginning is sharp, and there are some engaging elements of style. God knows I've never complained about rich, sad, nubile brunettes with strange eyes. But there are pieces missing in that forest-for-the-trees way that happens sometimes with debuts. Like, how do these privileged girls not have access to a gun when our national nightmare is based on all young people having access to guns? Or what is the exact motivation behind the crime at the center? Lots of great characters have been spurred by a violent curiosity, but a zinger here and there doesn't make these girls Raskolnikov. 89. White Boy Rick (Yann DeMange)- Even if this isn't it, I think Yann Demange has a great film in him. There's some urgency to White Boy Rick's politics, and it looks interesting. If nothing else, it succeeds in making the surroundings seem as gloomy as the characters all acknowledge them to be. But this isn't a great film in either of its halves. It's motivated by plot until a crucial event that I don't want to reveal, then it veers much more into character. I would normally sign off on that, but this movie grinds to a halt in the change and never recovers. McConaughey pulls his weight, but Richie Merritt is pretty bad in the lead. 88. The Strangers: Prey at Night (Johannes Roberts)- Despite some striking images and a welcome lack of explanation for the menace, Prey at Night doesn't reach the heights of its predecessor, mostly because the characters are too paint-by-numbers. 87. Ant-Man and the Wasp (Peyton Reed)- Probably the first Marvel movie that would benefit from more action. Some of the material is genuinely funny thanks to Michael Pena and Randall Park, but I got a little drowsy during the middle hour of talk about phase-shifting and the quantum realm. Get back to making things big or making things little, Dr. Molecule! 86. Creed II (Steven Caple Jr.)- The pieces are there, but it's a problem when Jim Lampley, who has one hundred times as many lines as the fifth lead, explains to the audience what they literally saw an hour earlier. If nothing else, this movie proves, through his absence, how good of a director Ryan Coogler is. I would be lying if I said I didn't get the chills at some key moments. Stallone’s performance and Jordan's muscles are good. But there was a dark, honest way for this movie to end, and it went directly against that ending into something more Hollywood. 85. Let the Sunshine In (Claire Denis)- Like Taxi Driver if Travis Bickle just wanted the guy to get him a glass of water afterwards. The film does have that kind of myopic focus--the sexy, ever-candid Binoche is in every scene--but it's far more elliptical, progressing only through character, never through plot. Let the Sunshine In is unique in a way that is different from Denis's other unique works: No one talks like an actual person, and she acts as if you should know all of the characters instead of properly introducing them. It's not supposed to be funny ha-ha, so excuse me if that's what I wanted.

84. Revenge (Coralie Fargeat)-  like the style of this film, the color palette, the synth score, how far it's willing to go with the gore. But if it's called Revenge, and it's clear who the hero is (hint: not the rapist), then the whole thing feels like a fait accompli. We know exactly who's going to be the last woman standing, and we even know the order of the people she's going to kill.

PRETTY GOOD MOVIES 83. The Rider (Chloe Zhao)- This movie is trying to be a poem, but the parts I like the most are prose. It's a promising piece of filmmaking with heartbreaking moments, but I found it most effective when the storytelling spelled things out. It's an all-hands-on-deck independent film, so the amateurism of the piece shines through in the performances from non-professional actors. The relationship between Brady and his autistic sister is interesting because she speaks with that sarcastic cadence that can be learned from only children's programming. It's unlike what we usually see because, you know, she's a non-professional actor and real autistic person. So what do I know? 82. Unfriended: Dark Web (Stephen Susco)- Pretty tight from a storytelling standpoint and definitely grisly enough to get under the skin. But these laptop flicks move with such alacrity that it's hard to believe them whenever they ask you to buy something like love, since they paint it with the broadest strokes imaginable. Not that I would want a two-hour version of this anyway. 81. Juliet, Naked (Jesse Peretz)- Charming enough, arriving at a more realistic place than I expected, Juliet, Naked does nothing to make me revoke my charter membership in the Rose Byrne fan club. What an odd shape this film has though. The inciting incident happens at the hour mark, and it races obligatorily to an ending at an hour, thirty-seven. 80. Ocean’s Eight (Gary Ross)- It sets its marks and hits them adequately, with most of the charm that made the other Ocean movies fun. But there's something lifeless about Ocean's 8, both in the direction and the score. Take, for example, Richard Armitage's bland, sort of lost performance as an old flame/mark. It's such a nothing part that I began to think that it was a thesis: The men are just chess pieces, and they shouldn't take attention away from the women this time. But then James Corden emerges in the last half-hour and shines. So maybe Armitage was just bad and directed poorly? This movie exists for the Movie Star interplay though, and it delivers on that level. Cate Blanchett was good for so long that she's popular, and Sandra Bullock was popular for so long that she's good. Rihanna has to dress like a janitor at one point as a disguise, and she proves how absurd it would be for her to ever blend in. Anne Hathaway is the funniest of the bunch, balancing on a highwire of how big she's supposed to seem. Helena Bonham Carter gets the "and" hammer for all my credit fetishists. 79. Mary Poppins Returns (Rob Marshall)- I saw this on Christmas night with my family. The original Mary Poppins was the first movie my mom ever saw in theaters, and it's probably my wife's favorite. To the extent that insulting it is kind of insulting an important part of who she is. So I couldn't be the guy coming out of the theater like, "The Bankses definitely deserved to lose their house." Between you and me though, it's just fine. Entire sequences could be cut without damaging anything--do we ever come back to the bowl that Meryl Steep is supposed to be mending?--and most of the conflict feels manufactured. These legasequels always end up feeling like boxes being checked. We all know that the guys with the cannon had to come back, right? But some of the numbers are so joyful or stirring that even this grinch snuck a few smiles at his daughter as she pointed to the screen and said, "That's so silly." It's a good movie to see on Christmas night with your whole family. 78. RBG (Betsy West, Julie Cohen)- This movie is designed to make the viewer who would seek it out go, "What an American hero." It does that, I suppose, and there isn't a whole lot wrong with it. Yes, she is a very impressive person. But the film has too much untapped potential and too few teeth to recommend beyond that rubric of achieving its goals. For example, what about half of the population that would sneer at the notion that Ruth Bader Ginsburg is an American hero? Besides the inclusion of some radio clips over the credits, the filmmakers aren't concerned. "Look, she was friends with a conservative!"

77. Searching (Aneesh Shaganty)- Since I've seen thousands of movies that don't take place inside of a computer, there's still some novelty to the handful that do. On one hand, there are four or five twists too many, and the film isn't consistent with its own rules. On the other hand, it gets intriguingly dark for PG-13, and it never stops moving. 76. Uncle Drew (Charles Stone III)- The attitude toward women is retrograde, and to call the plot cookie-cutter would be an understatement. But this works, mostly because of the sunny, natural performances. Kyrie Irving, whose handles are even more of a marvel on a forty-foot screen, has to act through pounds of makeup, but he pulls it off. With only commercials to his name, he has to carry scenes of, like, standing at someone's grave and apologizing, and he has the presence and confidence to do it. I also should mention that Nick Kroll has a nothing-to-lose, galaxy brain performance for which probably zero of the lines were written ahead of time. "Shout-out to Oberto, shout-out to Aleve, the number one pain reliever in the game right now." I have to extend some of the credit here to Charles Stone III, who has made a calling card out of coaxing performances from newcomers. 75. Christopher Robin (Marc Forster)- Cute. 74. Unsane (Steven Soderbergh)- What seems to be a B-movie hitting its marks gets elevated by one fantastic scene that makes it seem timely and vital. I can't help but think Steven Soderbergh is punching below his weigh class though. I'm glad that an experiment like shooting a movie with an iPhone gets him up in the morning, and I know he doesn't want to make another Traffic or Out of Sight. But maybe, here's an idea, audiences might? 73. 22 July (Paul Greengrass)- The first thirty minutes are harrowing, in part because of their disciplined cross-cutting and Anders Danielsen Lie's chilling stoicism. The mistake that Greengrass makes is thinking that, later on, the three strands of story are equal in importance. He cuts away from the court case at its apex to see a kid trying to walk again or a prime minister demanding that his administration get tougher. Some moments are powerful, and Greengrass's composition and editing have mercifully softened, but this becomes a grind at a certain point. 72. Solo: A Star Wars Story (Ron Howard)- I hate to state the obvious, but this feels like multiple movies stitched together because that's exactly what it is. On one hand, we have the foggy opening, featuring an airtight inciting incident and setting up Emilia Clarke as that rarest of things in a Star Wars movie: a character with unclear motivations. But as the film goes on, it reveals why Han doesn't work as a protagonist. (Ehrenreich is bad, but the storytelling sinks the movie more than his performance does.) Everyone else in the movie drips with charisma and comments on the action while Han is left to connect the dots. In other words, the other characters get to be Han Solo, and Han Solo doesn't. By the time we get to the marauders, past the two hour mark of a movie that shouldn't have been more than two hours, the narrative crumbles under its own weight. These movies are way too competent to fail--I can list five or six moments that transcend the flaws--but each of these origin stories has a way of erasing the myth of Star Wars with a pen. 71. Bird Box (Susanne Bier)- This is a genre film that you've seen before in one way or another, so your expectations (and filmgoing experience even?) will dictate what you think of it. There's a metaphorical reading available, but that doesn't make the picture more artful automatically. Trevante Rhodes is a Movie Star. Here's what I can tell you: We need to appreciate John Gavin Malkovich while we can. Delivering the apotheosis of the selfish dickhead survivor character, he a) asks why the group can't stay in the grocery store forever, b) points shotguns at people when they try to let in strangers, c) drinks as he's telling people matter-of-factly that this is the end of the world, and d) (sort of) explains why he is the way he is. And-he-does-it-all-with-the-deliberate-cadence-that-you-are-doing-in-your-HEAD-right-NOW. I'm not saying the guy should win Best Supporting Actor or anything, but I admire his career more than any that would get a Best Supporting Actor.

[smokeybrand]

Smokey brand Movie Reviews: Bring the Heat

Finally had the opportunity to sit down and check out Raya and the Last Dragon. Disney Animation is kind of hit and miss when it comes to their new flicks and this incredibly transparent push for diversity profits has had mixed results for me. I enjoyed Tangled and Soul for what they were, and Zootopia was an excellent look at prejudice, but Moana was basically just Pacific Islander Pocahontas and the less said about the Frozen franchise, the better. I know all of this focus on diversity coming out of the Mouse House is strictly performative but it’s still dope seeing other cultures represented by the biggest studio in the land, even if that doesn’t translate so well to live action leading roles. Raya is the newest attempt by Disney to cash out by presenting or, as my more cynical self would say, pandering, to the Southeast Asian markets. Let’s see how well they pulled this sh*t off

The Good

This movie is gorgeous. Raya is easily the most beautiful film out of the Mouse House in a while. It definitely gives Soul a run for that tile and kind of sh*ts all over Frozen. That stands to reason considering it’s been a few years since the last Elsa outing, even though Sisu is just Dragon Elsa. Disney got that anime sameface problem.

Kind of an addendum to the previous note, Raya is beautifully animated. The facial movements, that audio sync, the f*cking hair, those action scenes; All of it is exquisite! I'm not going to say it can give Pixar a run for their money when they are a the top of their game, no CG animation company can, but Raya is definitely a contender.

The world of Kumandra is an interesting one with a truly unique feel, even if it’s kind of a homogeneous, Asian, conglomerate. I would have liked to see more of a focus on a specific Asian culture that doesn’t necessarily get the spotlight as often as China or Japan. Something like Thai, Hmong, Filipino, or Vietnamese would have been dope but i guess Kumandra had to hit all the bases to make all of the money. I dunno, it’s fine that there is Asian representation but creating a fictitious catch-all instead of actually building on something comes across as real tone deaf and a little disingenuous.

I like that there’s no singing in this thing. I’m not a fan of musicals so when the rare Disney animation comes through and it's not one, i tend to pay closer attention. That's probably why i love Atlantis so much. Also Maleficent but that's more because I just genuinely love the character of  Maleficent. All that said...

What little music we did get in this thing, was lovely. Like, it felt distinctly ethnic and fit the narrative perfectly. It went a long way to lend a bit of authenticity to a movie that is basically a soulless cash grab

These fight scenes are dope. Wonderfully telegraphed and visibly punishing, they’re great examples of choreography, especially considering how a lot of this is mocap. It’s a fine line between a fight and a dance but Raya traverses that gap with real aplomb.

Solid performances abound. I genuinely enjoy the vast majority of this cast and it's super-dope that it's almost all Asian actors in these parts. Sandra Oh, Izaac Wang, Daniel Dae Kim, Benedict Wong, Lucille Soong: This flicked is stacked with that Eastern excellence. It's a shame this thing didn't get a theatrical release. I'd be curious to see how a mass audience would have received this film if it was properly released into theaters, especially after witnessing how films like Paradise, Crazy Rich Asians, and The Farewell were so well received.

Sisu is adorable. I kind of love this little dragon scamp. She might be one of my favorite Disney characters in their library. Nora Lum does a great job giving Sisu life with her performance. The more I see, and hear, of this chick, the more I love her as an actor. Also, getting Awkwafina to voice the Water Dragon is not lost on me. I See you, Disney.

I really like Namaari, too. Gemma Chan does an exceptional job making her compelling. I don't really agree with her motivations but I understand them. Some of that has to be credited to the writing but Chan's performance goes a long way to making her believable. Seriously, I thought  Namaari was a much better protagonist than Raya and that has everything to do with Chan

The Meh

Kelly Marie Tran was a little dry for me as Raya. Like, she was good, don't misunderstand, but the character of Raya, as written, was kind of an idiot? Tran is excellent in the role as a performer, but Raya, herself, is real hard to identify with. She was scripted as the low energy straight man to Awkwafina's uber-kinetic Sisu, and to that end, Tran captures the character perfectly, she just comes across as kind of a dumbass. Her chemistry with Awkwafina, though, goes a long way to making Raya tolerable.

The Bad

It's kind of ridiculous to me that this entire film can be solved with honest communication. The fact that Sisu blatantly points that out means this movie is aware of it. Sh*t's kind of absurd but that might be the point. This thing is made for kids so I understand it can't be super nuanced with it's themes but I can kind of see this being a sticking point for other people.

The pacing is a little wonky. It feels really start-and-stop. Like, it took me this long to finish this flick because it was so slow in the beginning and then stalls kind of partway through, and then again toward the end. It's definitely a contradictory thing to say because this movie really moves overall. Like, it's totally a brisk watch but, at times, stalls to a near stop.

Now, I found Sisu adorable but I'm a fan of Spider-Man. He's super quippy, just like her, so that was right in my wheelhouse. However, I can totally see people frustrated with her character. She has the potential to be incredibly annoying to some.

Could have done without the extra supporting characters. In a lot of ways, this movie felt like a video game where you traverse several levels, acquiring mcguffins, picking up party members, all for the ultimate goal of defeating a powerful enemy force. And, just like video games, some supporting characters are better than others. I liked Boun, though. He was kind of hilarious.

The Verdict

Finishing Raya and the Last Dragon after, like, six false-starts, felt like an accomplishment. Turns out, it's a pretty good movie. Raya does start a little slower than i would like, and can definitely stumble in pacing at times, but it's still pretty fun to watch. The performances re strong, the characters are endearing, an the world is rich with intrigue. Awkwafina and Gemma Chan turn in some excellent performances and even Kelly Marie Tran does her best with what she was given, which wasn't much. Not going to sit here and claim it to be one of my favorites but it's better than i initially gave it credit for. Raya and the last Dragon has a ton of potential but I think Disney played it too safe and missed out on something great. Still, it's a fun watch that I think kids will enjoy. I mean, don't pay any extra loot for it but, if it's on Disney+ or if you wanna fly that Jolly Roger, it might be worth.

All that said, this sh*t feels a lot like the plot to Breath of the Wild, complete with kind of a Calamity Ganon as the principal conflict. I'm curious if anyone else got that same vibe.

[imaginedilestrade]

An English Blizzard- Part 3

Warnings: None!

A/N: So this is the third part and the last part you’ll get until tomorrow 😉 Enjoy!’

—————————— Chapter 3 ——————

“At least it’s warmer in here than outside,” you whispered to a glasses-free Greg as the two of you looked up to the ceiling filled with stars.

Greg looked down you to, you were lying back further in your seat so it meant he could gaze down at you without noticing.

You somehow managed to catch him almost every time he looked at you.

“How beautiful is this?” You whispered full of awe “I feel like too many people take stars for granted. I mean how lucky are we? We can look up and just be blessed with them. They don’t ask for anything from us but the least we could do is appreciate them a bit more.”

Greg couldn’t help but admire you more. He was completely infatuated with everything about you from your voice, your smile, the way you’d talk so passionately about things, your laugh…oh he loved making you laugh. That sound was like music to his ears.

You went wide eyed feeling something warm take hold of your hand. Greg had subconsciously slipped his hand into your own and was about to pull it away after he realised what he had done but you laced your fingers with his with a small smile on your face.

You shifted yourself up a bit and placed your head on his shoulder “It’s only been like three days since I met you,” you smirked “But it feels like I’ve known you for a lifetime…in a good way!”

“Good,” Greg chortled “Because I feel the exact same way…incredible isn’t it?”

“A whirlwind…” you whispered.

—

After the stargazing experience you and Greg agreed on a nightcap at the pub before parting ways.

Greg got in the drinks and you told him stories of your experiences at university. “So I argued with this girl until I was blue in the face about Romeo and Juliet. She genuinely thought it was an incredible love story and that they were ‘so in love’” you rolled your eyes and made inverted comma marks with your fingers. “So I told her it was a tragedy and that Romeo and Juliet were stupid, rebellious, horny teenagers. I mean Romeo isn’t exactly a romantic…he said ‘Juliet is the sun’. What man compares a woman to a huge burning ball of hydrogen and helium!” You laughed with Greg as you both took a sip of your drinks.

You held your hand up in defence and swallowed your drink “Now I know Romeo, in that context, is saying she’s inspirational and what not but still…you think of the sun and the first thing you think of is the star in our sky.”

Greg scooted forward slightly, bumping knees with you “So how did you get into law?” You asked him.

“Well,” Greg lightly shrugged “I was always interested in it and when I studied it at Oxford I realised I was more interested in sharing what I had learned and passing it on to others. I want them to be just as passionate as I was when I was a student.”

“Oxford?” You went wide eyed “Very impressive! Almost puts me to shame!” You jokingly laughed.

“Oh don’t say that,” Greg placed his hand on top of yours making your laughter hitch slightly at the sudden contact “I’m sure you’re great at what you do.” The warmth from his hands spread through your body and even though you had felt his hands interlocked with yours a mere hour ago, it felt as if each time he touched you was the first. “I should take you home,” Greg pulled out his phone to check the time “It’s getting late.”

You involuntary gasped seeing the most adorable picture on his phone screen “Is that your dog?”

Greg turned on is phone again to show you “Yeah that’s Cooper my border collie. I adopted him a few years ago.”

“My god he’s adorable!”

“Who’s more adorable? Me or Cooper?” Greg asked.

“Cooper wins, hands down!” You laughed and Greg let out a small groan while rolling his eyes. “But you’re still pretty adorable…” you bit down on your lip and you could see Greg’s tinge a light colour of pink.

He took you out to the cold, only now it was snowing and a stillness flooded the streets of London. An unpredicted blizzard. You walked home in a comfortable silence, the only sound coming from your feet crushing the fresh snow, with your hand wrapped around Greg’s. It soon began to get heavier, luckily you were almost home and Greg could get a cab back to his before the weather got worse. “I’ll wait with you until it comes,” you insisted and huddled closer to him like you were two penguins.

“You’ll catch a cold,” Greg shifted and sheltered the both of you with his scarf, only bringing the two of you closer. You looked up, you were both hidden from the world and more importantly, the windows of your flat. Greg turned his head slightly just as you moved yours, your noses almost bumping.

“Should we be doing this…?” You asked in the quietest whisper to ever leave your mouth.

Greg gazed into your eyes as if they held the secrets to the universe “Well,” he whispered just as quiet as you did “It is our second date.”

You smirked as you closed your eyes and gingerly pressed your lips to his, just applying enough pressure to feel warmth spread though your body. You pulled back, but barely. Greg’s hand found itself on the back of your neck, it was the catalyst that brought your lips together again only this time with much more force and passion. He tasted like beer and honey and it made your heart flutter.

He slowly removed his hand and pulled away “That’s my cab,” his warm breath danced over your face, it fought with the cold air circulating around you. “Can I see you tomorrow?”

“Yes…” you replied with your eyes still shut. Greg pecked your lips once more before leaving you for the night. You turned your back to the can with a smile, it was only then you realised you still had his scarf. You turned on your heel but by that point the taxi had already gone.

You walked back to your flat with it in your hands, constantly feeling the soft material between your fingers. You could smell his cologne as you brought the scarf to your nose and hugged it tightly against your chest.

The flat was silent, everyone was asleep. You carefully made your way to your room and changed into your pyjamas before climbing into bed. As you got comfortable your phone vibrated with a message you opened it and the biggest smile overtook your whole face. It was a photo of Greg with his dog with the words 'Cooper and I say goodnight x’

You bit down on your lip to refrain your mouth getting sore from smiling so much and held his scarf closer to you. 'How did I get so lucky in just a matter of days?’ You asked yourself. You had completely fallen for the brown eyed lecturer. How could one man be so incredibly perfect?

—

Mary and Molly both wolf whistled as you walked into the living room wearing a black dress with lace all over it and black tights underneath to protect your legs from the cold. You felt your face burn and waved off their whistling “Very nice! Where are you off too?” Mary asked.

“Y/N will be seeing her fancy man she’s been out with all week,” Sherlock smirked and you narrowed your eyes.

“I’m not Sherlock!” You gritted your teeth in embarrassment “I told you I have dinner tonight with dad and Seb and a few of their friends.”

Sherlock, Mary, John and Molly shared unconvinced glances. The day after your second date with Greg they found out you were seeing someone, but didn’t know who. They had been tirelessly guessing all week.

“Sure…” John drawled out with a grin.

“Don’t you start, Watson! I’ll be back late or I’ll stay over at dads. Depends how bad the weather gets.” You glanced outside and were thankful that the snow had melted over the last few days. “See you all later!” The flat filled with 'goodbye’ as you grabbed your coat and bag and left.

Your dad was a five minute was down the road. He lived in a townhouse split over three levels on the bottom there was the kitchen, dining room and living room, on the second floor was your room, guest room and the bathroom and on the top floor was your dads and Sebastian’s room.

You let yourself in and the heat smacked you in the face as soon as you walked in “Only me!” You called out and slipped off your heels by the door, instantly changing into your novelty slippers that were always waiting for you by the doorframe. As soon as you slipped them on you were home. You smirked at them every time, bright green slippers that were like dinosaur feet, they had brown claws sticking out them and everything.

“Hello you!” Sebastian peered his head around the corner and walked over to you to give you a hug. He engulfed you in his muscular arms and pecked your temple.

“Where’s dad?” You asked pulling away.

“Right here,” he walked forward with a large smile on his face “Trust you to be the last one to turn up. We’re all waiting for you!” He brought you in for a hug before pulling away, he still held your arms “Square root of 3721?”

“Jim stop pestering her with math questions!” Sebastian groaned.

“61 dad,” you smirked and Jim pecked your forehead with a proud smile.

“Come on I’ll take you through, dinner’s almost ready.” Your dad took you through, still holding your shoulders “Got some friends over tonight did I tell you?” You nodded as a response “Well there’s Mycroft, Sally Donovan and-”

The last name you already knew. Greg’s eyes were almost as wide as yours.

——————— Tags: (Let me know if you’d like to be tagged/Untagged)

@adorablebadger @damnitman-jamlocked-inthetardis @daynaan @rikkachloechan @holmes-maev @cutie1365 @wcsteland @theyre-my-divsion @gotham-s-lover @littlepostitnotes @chrissydarlingwrites @laterthantherabbit @annkli @-waythe- link not working

[amlugnis]

Smile More

A roleplay between a friend of mine and I via email. She was playing Burr, myself as F!Lafayette (as usual). A little side note though: F!Laf is referred to as Marie because Panther is not going to change Gilbert’s name if there’s already ‘Marie’ in Laffy Taffy’s name. 

These are actual responses, I did not bother changing anything.

Tagging @pinkmagic24 @jogn-laurens @puffballsushi @tisjustmeh @werewolfcries because I think you guys would enjoy it.

Shipping: Burrette (BurrxLafayette)

Summary: Love doesn’t discriminate between the sinners and the saints. 

Chapter Summary: Burr contemplates life, Marie helps him see what needs to be seen. They bond with their rum and tonic.

Chapter One: He Waits For It; She Fights For It

"Life doesn't discriminate between the sinners and the saints; it takes, and it takes, and it takes.." Aaron sighed, holding his forehead in his hand as he sat at the empty table in the tavern. He twirled his drink as he stared aimlessly at the ice cubes that swirled as he did so. The man was never one to dwell on things, or to drink his emotions. However, one could say today was the straw to break the camels back. Lieutenant Colonel Burr— what was the use of that title when the damn immigrant from no where could come up just as easily and take the seat of Washington's right hand man? He could come from no where and at an unbelievable pace become a phenomenon. But of course, he still wanted to fight. And now he was engaged to a Schuyler sister?  God, thing Aaron would do to be in Alexander's shoes. How was it that he worked so hard, sacrificed so much, just to watch others around him reap more rewards than he did without sowing nearly as many? It was discouraging, to say the very least. "We keep living anyway," he muttered bitterly, sipping the tonic with a twisted face. It was true, though he faced many hardships, life went on as if he hadn't. "We rise, and we fall, and we break, and we make our mistakes." He exhaled as he sat his drink down. He worked hard for everything he ever wanted, and didn't get nearly any of it. He furrowed his brow as he glanced around the bar, "And if there's a reason I'm still alive, when when so many have died," he laid his head down after being left unsatisfied by his observations, "I'm willing to wait for it..." He muttered into his sleeve. He didn't have a choice but to wait for it, rather.

The French entered the tavern, tossing a few coins by the bar, ordering her usual mug of rum. It was a weekly thing she does. She sat there, elbow on the surface. She scanned her surroundings, taking note how there were less customers tonight. She hummed in thought, eyebrow arched. She turned a small thud of a mug touching the bar. The woman took it gratefully and drank a bit. She spotted a familiar figure. Aaron Burr. She was not as close to him as Laurens or Mulligan but still, he could use a company, she thought. So the French woman stood and placed her mug down on the table where the American was and seated herself in front of him. "Well, someone could use a little smile." She said as an attempt to ease him up. "Are you all right, mon ami?"

Aaron didn't immediately look up; it took a few moments for him to even really register the Frenchwoman had said anything to him. He shifted his head slightly to be able to glance up at her, "Smile more," he mumbled, shaking his was at his own ill-used advice. He gave a forced, halfhearted smile, "Rough day, is all." He said softly, lifting his head up to give her a bit more of his attention. Rough day, more like a rough few months. But he wasn't lying, the day was rough. He supposed the company would be nice, it wasn't something he had been offered in a while. It was always, Alexander this and Hamilton that. He wasn't used to having such bitter feelings towards someone, and the alcohol only amplified the unusual sensation and clouded his normal morals. He sipped from his drink, setting it down.

Marie tilted her head as she examined the man before her. She returned his smile with her wider and brighter one. She had always been such a grinning sun. She could say it was her holy grail to her youthful look. "Aww, I'm sorry to hear, monsieur. I suppose I could sympathize, the men are at it again." It had always been a daily thing with Lafayette, men catcalling her or perhaps belittling her because of her gender. There were days where she neglected them, tuning them all out. But there were also days they just hit her hard. Not literally however, they would have broken noses and bruises if they do. "It's quite a rough day for myself. Would you like to talk about it, mon ami?"

The men always did treat her like she was less, but that was the times they lived in. Aaron hated that; as much as he loved the ladies, and no matter how much, he despised the inequality between the two. But these ideals were far ahead of their time, unfortunately. "I suppose, there isn't quite much too it though, besides the Hamilton Band Wagon. Don't take me the wrong way, I'm happy for Alexander. But the level of success he's achieving is putting little achievements like my own to shame." He exhaled, glancing to the side. Aaron knew the other was a good friend of Alexander; he couldn't speak too illy of him in front of her. It would be disrespectful— and at the very least he could still keep sight of that moral, if nothing else.

Lafayette listened to Aaron, her attention towards him was undivided. Her smile was there but only lessened but regardless, still there, intact. She understood him quite clearly. She took one sip of her rum and replied a second after. "You know, Monsieur Burr, I initially joined the revolution for glory. A way to prove my parents-- may they rest in peace," she said with a hand on her chest. "That I could bring honour to the Lafayette name while I still could. But ever since I befriended you and along many others here, my reason to fight had much more meaning. To aid my friends whom I now call my family." She said, "All these achievements of yours are less but count your blessings."

Aaron listened, eyes focused on her. She had a fair point; it brought up his own morals. He never was in the war for glory; he was there to fight for freedom. He was fighting for a better life for his next to kin. And the fact that he lost sight of that made him frown slightly. "You're right, I suppose I'm being a bit selfish." He sighed softly, killing off the last of his drink, turning the glass upside down. He glanced to the side, "It's hard to get lost in things that don't matter; I guess I lost sight of the important things." He added on, looking up at the ceiling. He had his own parents to make proud, but he still couldn't forget what was important in the moment. 

Lafayette drank more from her mug before placing it down, only half empty. She tucked a strayed hair strand behind her ear as she spoke, "Everyone forgets, Monsieur Burr. That is one of the reasons of many why we need friends and family in our lives. Some have friends as family, others family as friends, most have both." Marie said with a small raise of her shoulder. "Besides," she continued as her little smile shone again. "You will get something in the end, just lower your expectations."

"I think I forget more than I should.." He mumbled, stretching slightly as he looked back to her. He considered her advice, but once more his envious mind drifted to Alexander. He never had to lower his expectations. He put his mind to something, then it happened. He detested it. He rapped his fingers against the table, looking at Marie, "You’re a wise woman; a true revolutionist." He complimented her words. She was, like many idealistic women, far ahead of her time. And he respected that fact.

Lafayette smiled with a hint of pride within her eyes. "I have plenty of silent moments and I usually meditate about my decisions or I'd do self reflecting. I too think like you, Monsieur Burr." She said. "But every now and then, stop and think." Marie finished her mug, wiping her lips with her sleeve. She would wipe her lips with her handkerchief if she had one or if her mother was around.

Aaron's smiled twitched into a more genuine one, rather than the one he had previously forced upon himself. "I guess that's a problem with men, we don't think enough." He jested with a gentle sigh, leaning back in his chair. He didn't mean this just to appeal to the other, he always was fascinated in how women could think through problems.

Marie's smile increased when she saw Aaron's. "I think I know why you gave Monsieur Hamilton your advice, look at your smile! So lovely to look at, you too should smile more!" She complimented and it was genuine as his smile. She did indeed like his smile.

Aaron gave a chuckle, shrugging as he observed her own smile. Yes, if only Alexander would ever actually USE his advice. That along with the kind words from the Frenchwoman in front of her made his smile widen slightly, "You're too kind; I could say the same to you, Ms. Lafayette." He complimented her with a courteous nod. 

She let out a giggle, "Merci beaucoup, mon ami!" She replied, "Please, call me Marie." She said, leaning back to her chair, foot on the chair. 

Another nod from him, "Alright, Marie," he repeated back her name, getting comfortable in his own chair. He crossed one leg over the other, letting his head fall back momentarily,  "I have to ask what brings a lady like yourself to a scruffy tavern like this? Please don't think me ignorant, though. I've seen you on the field and certainly respect you." He leaned forward a bit, genuine interest clear in his expression, "it just peaks my curiosity when they're are much finer places to be." 

"This is the tavern where I've first met Monsieurs Mulligan and Laurens." She said, looking around the environment. "I don't think of you as ignorant," She smiled again. "Coming here just eases my head and the rum here tastes better than most taverns." She said. "I've had enough fine things in my life anyway."

Right, that made sense. Sentimental value. Plus, he nearly forgot her lifestyle back in France; she was probably sick of luxury. The fun fact about rum did surprise him, even if only slightly. He wasn't a huge rum drinker; he'd always detested the burn it left. He much rather liked the different kind of burn gin tonics left. "I suppose that's a fair point, but I've seen how some of the men eye you when you walk in. Surely you can handle yourself, but I can't help but say it makes me sick." He spoke, glancing around for a moment, "All the same I also can't help but feel sorry for the pour soul who tries something; I'd have to speak at their funeral." He jested, turning his attention back to her.

Lafayette glanced at the men whom were staring, now their backs towards the two. Marie could not help but laugh at his joke, completely amused. "They only see and look but they cannot touch." Her voice was raised, meant for the men to hear as well. Marie was used to it, the staring. She was often stared at just as much back in France. But she honestly never looked for a night with a man and another night with another man. She kept herself untouched until marriage for her husband. The one whom would take care of her as she would take care of him. One whom would love her but understand her, whom would respect her. She had found an admirer whom fit all these; Adrien Françoise de Noailles. She was just thinking about whether accepting or rejecting his proposal. She might agree. 

"It shocks me how they have the guys to look; I don't think they know how dangerous you truly are. I think they'd rethink if they saw some of the battles you fought in; flee or their lives." Another chuckle, then Aaron sighed. He had a love of his own, unlawful and certainly an act of treason. But, that didn't stop him from writing and receiving her letters. Perhaps one day he too would work up the courage to steal his Theodosia  away from the British soldier who so greedily swept her up before Aaron could. But until that day, well; Burr was lying in wait. 

Lafayette rolled her eyes at the men whom choked on their rum. "I could never find a decent man but one." She thought aloud. Marie turned back to Aaron with a smile, "Tell me, Monsieur, do you have a special someone to wait for you? Family? Wife?" She tilted her head, some of her stray locks swaying along. "You cannot be alone forever, can you? No one is meant to walk the path of life alone."

A family, certainly not. Not anymore. His parents were gone; only the memory left to keep him company. "A woman whose far beyond my reach." He answered with a half hearted smile and a lazy sigh. Certainly, there was more to it than that; Theodosia wasn't just a woman. She was the woman; the one of his dreams. Beauty, grace, intelligence— perfection. But all he was to her as of the moment was a bed warmer, despite his longing for something more. "And unfortunately, I'll never have the blessing of being with her permanently." He added.

"I am sorry to hear," There was a frown before it was reformed to a reassuring smile. "She is lucky to have a man like you. She should know." Marie said. "I've only one waiting for me in France but if I reject his proposal, I would have no one there. But," she did not want pity so she decided to take the optimistic road. "I might marry him when I return."

"Ah, believe me, I'd make her mine if I could. But I have a problem with commitment; rather I say I have a problem finding women who /aren't/ committed." He replied slyly, before his own smile faded slightly. As nice as it felt to jest about the matter, it did little to help how he felt. "I'm sure he'll find himself a lucky man if you do so choose to make him one. Your an attractive woman; and beauty truly is power." He said as he stretched his crossed leg that was now falling asleep, exchanging it for his other leg to mirror it.

Lafayette observed Aaron with an expression that seemed to be akin to confusion but then it melted to realization minutes after. "Oh!" She understood before clearing her throat. "I see. Well, I hope your love for her shall be realised and thus I wish for your love to never extinguish its fire." She replied with a smile before snorting at the last statement of his. "Beauty is not power. Strength, intelligence and wisdom are power. I am more than just a face and body."

"Of course, I certainly didn't mean that by it; but in this day and age, having just those three qualities as woman doesn't get you far." He said, a glance to the men, "Beauty being added to it, however, gives you voice over the other gender as well. Because, sadly, that's all you'll find—aside from financials— they're interested in." He let his smile return as he concluded his statement, eyes returning to Marie.

"Ha! If they think they could make me swoon to get a title and money, let them be my guest. I may be a carefree lady, as you know but you should also know I could become a lion--" There was a man approaching Marie, a hand then was on her shoulder. She scowled as the stranger spoke, "I cannot help but overhear you and your friend. He's right, you've got the beauty any man would want for their wife."

After being sure his focus was on Marie, Aaron mouthed 'make him eat his words' to the Frenchwoman. He'd intervene if the lady couldn't handle it; he had honor after all. But she was no damsel, however, and he respected that much. No matter how much shame the man brought to his own gender, and no matter how much he longed to land his fist against his nose, he'd give Marie a shot to make her own mark on the other first.

Lafayette smirked at Burr before turned to the man, replying in a coy and innocent voice. He made one wrong move again and her fist flew towards his nose. He was taken aback, he screamed. "Go to hell, you bitch!" The Frenchwoman only laughed, "I'll see you there then!" And he left to cure his possibly broken nose. She honestly did not care and sat back down, her smile returning. "I'm sorry you had to see that."

Aaron watched the whole scene, joining the fellow patrons in an immature "ooohhh" when the punch made contact. "Pro tip for you all; don't mess with the immigrants— especially the ladies." Aaron added as he left, and it awarded a few laughs throughout the tavern. Soon after, the others returned to their drinks, and Aaron's gaze returned to Marie. "He couldn't handle a real woman if he tried." Burr laughed, shaking his head. He'd hate to be the one leaving the tavern with a broken nose and broken pride.

Lafayette laughed, "Well I just hope he won't come bother me again. It felt good to punch his nose and ego, lets out some steam I had." She said before turning to the bartender, "One more mug of rum, please, and whatever my friend is having!" She smiled back to Burr, "On me, mon ami."

"You're too kind." He grinned, raising up his empty glass to show the bartender he would have a gin tonic. "But, it looked enjoyable; the crack that came from his nose, though— do you think that was his nose or pride shattering?" His tone was satirically curious, and he smiled.

"I like to think I damaged his pride most." She chuckled. "It's rare to have a woman swinging a fist at a man after all, oui?" She drummed her fingers against the wooden table until their drinks were served in which Marie tossed a few coins into the bartender's hand with a sweet 'merci'.

"Rare, but far more powerful." He smiled as he took a drink, closing his eyes momentarily as he savored the familiar burn that came from the gin. Then, he sat the glass down. "If only more women were as ready to take action as you were." He added as he leaned back in his chair a bit.

"Soon, they'll be. Just you wait." She smiled before taking a long sip of her rum. "You're quite a company, I'm surprised I have not been able to speak with you alone since we first met!" She laughed. "I like having you around, mon ami."

"I don't speak often; speaking can get you killed to easily. And death is an easy mans way out." He tended himself to another sip, propping his legs up on the chair next to him. "But I'm certainly glad my company is welcomed; I could say the same for you." He grinned, setting his glass down once more.

"I just wonder why we have not-- how you say-- hit it off right away." She chuckled, sipping her rum. "We click so well like clockwork, oui?" She placed her mug down, her hands clasping together.

He nearly spat his drink, laughing a bit as he coughed a little, "It comes a long with being a friend of Alexander; it's easy to get distracted and not realize." He explained his humorous theory, "But, I think the main reason would be revolution. A bit stressful to focus on."

Marie looked concerned when he almost spat the drink on her. Then she chuckled, "Oui, I agree. I never expected to have lifelong friends here in America. It's so much more than I wanted and I am content. I'll miss everyone when I leave for France again."

Aaron regained himself, letting out a sigh. He'd almost forgotten that she would have to leave and return to France after all was said and done. "I can assure you, Marie, that you will be missed as well. I don't think anyone planned the friendship we share, but I don't think anyone would trade it for anything." Aaron was never good with speaking, that was always Alexander's strong suite. But, he he took his half empty glass and raised it a bit, "But may we never have to truly say goodbye." He said this with a smile.

When she listened to Aaron, her heart melted at his kind words. It saddened her a little that they only had tonight to bond closer than before. She should have approached him before when she had the chance. Marie smiled a little, raising her own mug. "Never say goodbye." She said.

He smiled a bit wider, and tipped back his glass, quickly killing off what remained of the drink. He too wished he'd talked to her sooner; the war was ending and so was their time together. He sat his glass down upside down with a soft lazy sigh.

The woman drank the last drop of her rum before placing it down. Then Marie massaged her head, feeling some sort of headache. "Oi," she muttered. "I think I should go home, Monsieur." She said, attempting to smile a little as an act of reassurance. 

Aaron gave a nod, "I should be as well, I have a feeling these drinks will be hitting me come morning." He gave a soft chuckle. Truth be told, he couldn't handle hangovers well. "I'm sure you can handle whatever comes your way, but I wouldn't be a gentleman if I didn't offer to walk you home." He offered her.

"You know, Monsieur Burr, I normally do not accept those," she said honestly. "But today is an exception." She chuckled before standing up and offered her hand as if she were the gentleman. "Shall we?" She asked her goofy grin.

He gave a nod, standing up and stretching s little bit. He respectfully took her hand, being gentle as he did so. "I'm honored to be that exception, Marie." He said with a smile. "Lead the way." He added kindly.

People often think Marie's hands are soft and smooth. They were until she was the one gripping you. They were akin to iron cuffs. She chuckled, taking Burr out of the tavern. "Come along, mon ami!" she cried gleefully.

The grip half shocked him; she was a strong woman and he should had expected that much. Aaron's own hands weren't the most delicate, they had calluses and were a bit on the larger side. "I'm right behind you." He said with a laugh at her enthusiasm.

She ceased her steps, slowing down into her normal walking pace when they were below the stars. Marie looked up with a smile, "It's beautiful tonight. The moon is awake, the stars are beside her. No clouds to hide her away." Then she turned to Burr, "Did Monsieur Hamilton invite you to his wedding?"

He let his gaze wander up as well, observing the night sky. It was beautiful as she described; the night sky was something he never really appreciated. He never had the time to. He let his gaze drift to her, observing her engaged and serene features, and he caught himself smiling even more. It wasn't until she asked the question that he refocused himself, "Oh, yeah. He did invite me, though I'm not sure I'll be able to attend." He replied with a gentle shrug. He let his gaze wander up as well, observing the night sky. It was beautiful as she described; the night sky was something he never really appreciated. He never had the time to. He let his gaze drift to her, observing her engaged and serene features, and he caught himself smiling even more. It wasn't until she asked the question that he refocused himself, "Oh, yeah. He did invite me, though I'm not sure I'll be able to attend." He replied with a gentle shrug.

The moon caressed her face and gave her a soft glow. Gentle and elegant. Her smile made the glow even more radiant phosphorescence. Lafayette turned back to Aaron, frowning slightly. It reduced her beauty. "Pity, I was going to look forward seeing you there. Monsieurs Mulligan and Laurens, I'm certain, would be too busy. I'd be trying not to keep them from being too intoxicated." She had a little laugh but it was not so genuine as her previous laughter.

"You'll find I won't be missed, I'm not a huge party goer." He said with a sigh, watching her features dim. He hadn't meant to disappoint, he simply had a rather.. Promiscuous reputation that people weren't fond of. "Though I could stop by.. I think it may be rude not to congratulate Alexander." He added in hopes of reviving that luminous look she had previously.

Her face did light up. She smiled once again. "Well I hope I'll see you, Monsieur Burr. Ah!" She stopped by a door. "This is mine."

He smiled at her and let her hand go, though the process was slow. He watched her and let out a sigh, "Well, I hope we have another night like this someday. It was lovely."

Marie was already entering the small household when he spoke. She turned her head, her lips curling to a gentle smile. "I'd like that. Au revoir, mon ami." She said before closing the door.

He stood a moment after the door closed, sighing softly before he turned to leave. As nice as the evening was, he didn't count on his hopes. Aaron was far from a close friend to her; she had many more friends to spend time with. He took an inhale of the night air, thinking of Theodosia, and the night he had with Marie. "You and committed women.." He chuckled dryly with a shake of his head, and began to make his way of his own home.

[the-revisionist]

The Argentinian Maneuver, chapter 2

Note: There is some angst in this chapter, but no specific mention of abuse (sexual, physical, or otherwise). After this chapter it will be better, promise. 

ii. Entertaining Mrs. Greenwood

As follows the current pattern of her interior life, Gillian usually finds herself depressed and discouraged after these dinners with Caroline—even more so when she dwells on the ludicrous banality of being a middle-aged woman acting like a infatuated teenaged cow. Her ideal conception of a midlife crisis had involved a Porsche and cabana boys, and not this. She attempts convincing herself that it’s hopeless to even fantasize about anything beyond a friendship and that she should just leave it. She’s obviously not Caroline’s type anyway and besides that, Caroline needs a genuinely good, useful, worthwhile partner—not someone who ticks off all the boxes on an audition form for The X Factor: brain-dead trailer trash, drunken slapper, damaged goods. Olga may not appear the ideal long-term mate either, but at least she has a seemingly endless supply of wine, charm, and rather flawless skin. 

She had foolishly hung her hopes on the basis of one meager incident anyway, which occurred the day after she informed her father and Celia that Robbie was gone and they were getting divorced. One evening after supper she drove over to Caroline’s house to make the announcement and found their parents sitting expectantly in the kitchen awaiting her arrival, as if anticipating some sort of highly entertaining one-woman theater show—like she’s Carrie Fisher, bless, but without the talent and even worse taste in men. 

Caroline, already aware of breakup, also lingered in the kitchen. She leaned against the counter while nibbling digestives and with the same hawkish anticipation of impending emotional, intellectual, and psychological carnage that she displayed while watching University Challenge.

  The pressure was all a bit much and Gillian attempted calming herself by clasping her hands like a host at an awards show. “I’m glad you’re all here.” 

“You asked us to be here,” Celia reminded her. “And besides, we live here.”

“What’s wrong?” Alan blurted. “Are you ill?”

“I’m fine, Dad.” 

“Is Raff ill? Is Calam all right?” 

“No,” Gillian said irritably, “no one is sick—”

Celia barely restrained a sigh. “Is this going to take long, dear? Our little theater group is having a conference call later this evening to discuss our fall production. We may do Joe Orton!”

Caroline squinted at her. “Mum, have you ever read Joe Orton?” 

  “I know he’s controversial, but really, I’m quite open-minded.” 

Alan exhaled and made a show of looking around the room.

“What? I am!” 

Pinching her brow, Gillian was a second away from shouty swearing when Caroline intervened. “All right,” she said in her best headmistress tone while gently shoving Gillian into a chair, “Gillian needs to talk with you about something, so let’s all settle down and listen to her.” 

She gnawed on her fingernails, realized that they kind of hurt when she did that and maybe she should stop doing that not just for now but maybe forefuckingever, then Caroline provided the happy distraction of a cuppa. She slurped the tea quickly, took a breath, and plowed through: “Okay, I wanted to tell you—I mean, I’m all right, really, but, um, it’s Robbie and I—well, it’s, it’s over. We’re getting divorced and he’s moving out, leaving. Well, actually, he’s, he’s left already. He’s emigrating. To Canada.”

The moment did not have the huge dramatic impact she anticipated, probably because they knew as well as anyone that things were not right, had never right between her and Robbie since the day they married. And even before then. 

“Oh,” Celia said. She sipped her tea. 

Alan, however, managed a bit more surprise, as well as the additional bonus of genuine concern. “But why? Did something happen?” 

“No, not really, it’s just, you know, a build-up of a bunch of things.” 

Alan persisted. “Like what?” 

“Like, like—” Helpless, she glanced back at Caroline, who gave an exaggerated, what can I do, you never listen to me and as a result you’re in the shit now and I hereby retire as your unofficial life coach shrug.

“It’s—he fell in love with someone else.” Gillian blurted out the lie.

Then Caroline mimed blowing her brains out by pointing two fingers at her own head and dropping the imaginary hammer of her thumb.

     Alan looked gobsmacked but unfortunately Celia was now interested in the soap opera unfolding before her: “Really?” she squealed. 

“Yeah, see, that’s, that’s why he’s moving to Canada. She lives there. She’s law enforcement too—it’s how they met. On a chat board for um, coppers and the like. She’s, ah, a Canadian Mountie. Her name is Molson—Gladys Molson.” 

Increasingly alarmed, Caroline frantically whisked her hand across her throat and mouthed shut it down at Gillian. 

“How did you find out?” Celia asked. 

Alas, it was too late and Gillian was off to the races. “On computer, he was, he was, dumb enough to leave his email open one day and I saw it. Bloody eejit. They were having, you know, sex online—cybersex. I confronted him and he admitted it. He swore he would dump her and that we would try to work on things, and we did—we tried. I mean, we really, really worked so very, very hard on it—the relationship. I tried but I felt humiliated. I mean, he, he—” Gillian lowered her voice. “—he wanted me to do certain things that reminded him of her.” 

Celia leaned forward. Alan recoiled. Caroline ate more biscuits.

“Like, he, he—he wanted me dress up as a Mountie. And God help me, I did. The whole bit. The hat, the red uni. Spurs—yeah. Spurs. Spurs and everything.”

Celia murmured, “That’s quite a bit of information, Gillian.” Alan made a dyspeptic sound of distress. Caroline frowned into the void of the empty biscuit box. 

“But it was hopeless, just hopeless.” Gillian took a deep breath. “So I told him to go! Go to Saskatchewan to be with her.” She flung out an arm in what she hoped was the general direction of Saskatchewan. “’Cause I thought it were no good, keeping him here, hanging on to him, us both being unhappy. I kept thinking, you know, of um—you know, what Sting says.” She paused dramatically. 

“‘De do do do, de da da da?’” offered Caroline from the peanut gallery. 

Gillian glared at her. “If you love someone,” she intoned slowly, “set them free.” A dramatic downward head turn—immaculately copied from Mary Astor playing the femme fatale in The Maltese Falcon and conveying shame, vulnerability, and the desire for an Oscar—signaled the end of the performance.

There was no applause, but Celia patted her hand and said, “You did the right thing, love.”

Scowling, Alan folded his arms. “Why, that bloody tosser!” 

This seemed the final and most appropriate word on the matter. 

Thirty seconds of silence in mourning of Gillian’s now-terminated marriage followed, before Caroline offered more tea to everyone. Gillian wanted either a good stiff drink or the opportunity to roll around in a padded room and scream until hoarse, but dutifully she drank her tea while her father and Celia commenced discussion of matters Canadian. 

“Do Mounties still wear spurs? Ride horses and such?” Alan mused.

“I don’t know,” replied Celia, “but it’s got me in mind of that old song—do you know the one I’m thinking of, love? The one about spurs, one of those cowboy fellas sang it—”

“Oh, I know which one you mean—think it was Gene Autry!”

Then to Gillian’s consummate horror, they both started to sing it:

I’ve got spurs that jingle jangle jingle As I go ridin’ merrily along And they sing, ‘Oh ain’t you glad you’re single?’ And that song ain’t so very far from wrong

By the time they decided to go play it on the piano in the other room, Gillian was face down on the kitchen table groaning and yearning for imminent death, whiskey, or both. 

“Think you’ll get a BAFTA for that performance, Dame Gillian. At least the worst is over now,” Caroline said. 

“You’ve got a bloody fucking geriatric musical going on in your house and you think the worst is over?”

“Kind of a catchy tune, don’t you think? It could be your theme song. But guess what—I’ve got a prezzie for you.” Caroline opened the refrigerator and started rummaging around in it, all while singing along tunelessly—oh ain’t you glad you’re single?—to the accompaniment of the voices and piano from the living room. As the digging intensified she bent over and not that Gillian needed confirmation—well yes, she desperately needed it, so very very much—but this simple gesture granted ample, curvy corroboration that Caroline’s ass looked as stunning in jeans as it did in a tight posh bitch skirt.

God hates me, Gillian thought. “Oh yes, you do have something for me all right.” As she said this aloud, she amended her previous thought to, God hates me and I’m a pillock.

“What?” 

“Gesundheit.”  

“Shit, I thought I threw out that yogurt—wait, wait, here we go, ah!” Caroline pulled a bottle out of the fridge and triumphantly slammed it on the table in front of Gillian. “Check it!”

It was a bottle of Dom Perignon, glistening and enchanted, glowing and throbbing like a bounty of trapped fireflies and sweating as gloriously as David Beckham in an ad campaign where he’s playing footy in his underwear and most likely high off his tits because he has realized he has no singular purpose in life anymore except to reflect upon the psychological damage he inflicted upon his children because of their daft names. 

“Told Olga we needed something good to celebrate your divorce,” Caroline said. “Pretty sweet, eh?”  

   “It is.” Gillian nodded at the bottle, which she now wanted to marry more than she ever wanted to marry an actual living person in her entire life. “What depraved sex act did you have to do for that?” she asked Caroline.  She did not really want to know. Well, she did. But she didn’t. Well. 

“Oh, nothing too traumatic,” Caroline replied breezily. “Just dressed up as a Canadian Mountie. Spurs and everything! I hear it’s all the rage now.” 

Gillian’s mouth twitched. She drummed the table. “Left m’self wide open for that, didn’t I?”

“You did indeed. Your imagination is truly frightening at times.” Caroline pulled out champagne flutes from a cupboard. “Come on, grab the bottle, let’s go outside. Hurry—my mother can smell champagne at twenty paces.” 

“It’s cold out.”

“Oh listen to you, super-butch farmer whining about the cold.” Caroline grabbed her hand and tugged and again Gillian thought of fireflies, except this time she imagined them wreaking glowing havoc in her stomach, in her veins, and setting forth on a fluttery mission to besiege the chambers of her heart and she supposed Caroline was right, she had a ridiculous imagination. 

Outside they popped the cork with happy shouts and the champagne froth glinted silver-pale against the deep blue scrim of evening. Gillian greedily gulped from the bottle while Caroline went inside to fetch her something warm to wear. She brought out some huge, bright, puffy-ish jacket, obviously Lawrence’s because it reeked of teenage boy. After two glasses, and while comically swaddled in the ridiculous coat, Gillian lay down on the picnic table and stared up at the stars. Caroline was saying something about the stars and how the night sky seemed brighter here than in Harrogate, how she liked bringing Flora out here to look at the stars sometimes, and how doing so was sometimes the best part of her day—and here Gillian was all too aware of holding her breath, as if a plume of air would rend the fabric of moment beyond repair, but even in her happiness she was too acutely aware of that last bit from Caroline, that sometimes the day’s end was its best part. 

“Is work all right?” she asked with characteristic bluntness. 

“Yeah. It’s fine.” Fine was never fine with Caroline, but she did not interrupt. “It’s a challenge. I need that. But hey, I think I have street cred at last.”

Gillian sputtered with laughter. “S-street cred?”

“Yeah. Street cred.”

“You go on a drug run with your students?”

“No, just told one of them to fuck off. Felt very satisfying. If I’d still been at Sulgrave I would’ve been sacked on the spot.” 

“Street cred. Streeeeet cred.” 

“Yeah.” This said somewhat defensively. 

“Caz?”

“What?”

A giggle as frothily potent as the champagne just consumed bubbled through Gillian. “The thing about street cred is, is, the second you say ‘street cred’—you don’t fucking have any.” 

By the time she finished the sentence she was laughing so hard she nearly rolled off the picnic table and would have if not for Caroline, doubled over with laughter, leaning against her and blocking the descent. 

Then the inevitable Celia bellow from a doorway only prolonged the laughing fit: “What on earth are you two doing out there? It’s freezing out!”

It was freezing, and once inside a decision was made to consume more alcohol, this time a Chablis and Caroline went on about the notes of citrus and pear and its minerality and salinity and that pretty much put a nail in the coffin of street cred.  Driving home was then completely out of the question, so Caroline offered her the guest room—or “the tomb,” as Celia called it, because it was so relentlessly cold and drab—but she fell asleep alone on the couch after everyone had gone to bed and while watching the version of Wuthering Heights with Lawrence Olivier and Merle Oberon.  She conked out just after Edgar and Cathy married, the last thing she thought before surrendering to sleep being poor David Niven. 

In the morning she woke to the sound of snoring, which immediately brought homicidal thoughts of Robbie to mind until she remembered that he was gone, gone, blessedly gone for good—and realized she was sleeping in the embrace of a certain snoring someone who felt soft and strong and smelled nice and who obviously had breasts of the nice, pillowy variety. A stiff tilt of her head and a sleepy squint verified that yes, not only was she on Caroline’s couch, but also on Caroline. And without the faintest idea of how the hell that happened. 

Untangling herself gracefully and without waking her hostess would be an impossibility. Particularly when a panic attack set in. Gillian twitched, squirmed, and flailed as she tried to slip out of Caroline’s arms. Caroline awoke with a snort and muttered “hobnobs,” then grunted in pain as Gillian then elbowed her in the stomach; Gillian flailed and squirmed some more, nearly lost her balance, and as she blindly reached for support accidentally latched onto Caroline’s face and narrowly avoided poking a very lovely blue eye. But even half asleep Caroline steadied her until she breathlessly clambered to the platonic lifeboat at the other end of the sofa. 

“Jesus Christ.” Caroline sat up, groaned, and rubbed at her back. She wore quite nice pajamas, a navy blue jacquard print with tiny white diamond shapes that screamed Harrods. Bleary-eyed, she stared at Gillian. “That was like trying to take a cat to the vet.”  

“Sorry. S-sorry.” Gillian scrubbed at her face vigorously; it was too early in the morning for compulsive apology. “Why—why’re you out here?”

“Well, it is my sofa in my house,” Caroline joked. 

Gillian said nothing; she was far too busy scavenging the rubbish bin of memory looking for a scrap of explanation as to why this horrible wonderful thing, waking up in Caroline’s arms, had occurred. 

“Couldn’t sleep, I came out to see if you were still watching that movie, because I have to say, Merle Oberon was pretty sexy back then.” 

Caroline always provided too much detail in her lies. Also, during the part of the film that Caroline had watched last night, she referred to Merle-Oberon-as-Cathy as a “pea-brained twat.” 

Disbelieving and wary, Gillian shook her head. 

Caroline smothered a yawn with her hand. She flopped back into the couch’s embrace. “You don’t remember?” she asked gently. 

“Fuck sakes, Caroline, if I remembered, I wouldn’t be asking you, would I?” she snarled, and then felt so ashamed that this time she could not even muster up the obligatory but worthless sorry. 

Caroline chose not to respond in kind. They sat on the couch quietly for a long minute in which Gillian decided the best thing might be to slink out the door right now and apologize later. 

“You were crying,” Caroline finally said. 

At this—confirmation of her nightmares bleeding uncontrollably into the lives of others—Gillian curled into herself. 

“First I thought it was Flora. You know how it is when they’re that age. Always puts you on edge a bit, turns you into a light sleeper. But it wasn’t her I was hearing. It was you.” On the pretense of stretching again, Caroline managed to scoot closer to her; Gillian realized there was no other safe retreat from physical closeness at this point except, perhaps, another country. 

“I wasn’t sure if you were awake or still dreaming,” Caroline continued, “they say you have to be careful about not waking someone out of a nightmare or a similar state like that. So I just sat with you, and you quieted down eventually, and, well, I guess must have fallen asleep out here.” 

While holding me. All night long. You beautiful liar. 

The rarified fugue state of Gillian’s nightmares contained details so deeply buried that she thinks even her subconscious doesn’t know what the hell is going on. Months ago after a particularly bad one she woke to find Robbie sitting on the edge of the bed, gawping at her with the helpless, almost childlike incomprehension of a man with no true demons, no formidable ghosts. This lack of depth became even more apparent to her whenever he attempted comfort afterward; his embrace smothered her so that she felt as if she were reliving it, this thing she could not quite remember, because it elicited that same feeling—a blind, terrorizing free-fall into suffocation.  

“I don’t always remember them,” Gillian replied slowly. “Details and such. And when I’ve been drinking—” She forced a rough laugh. “—barely remember having them. It becomes all part of the hangover then, dry mouth, head hurting.” 

“Does your head hurt now?” 

Caroline was now slouched even further down and ever so close. Their shoulders touched. They were burrowed together into the safety of the overstuffed couch like soldiers in a foxhole, the drumfire of the past blazing over their heads and at enough of a remove that the ugliness got lost and took a circuitous path leading to this time and place, this house, this woman and, if only briefly and amazingly, had contorted itself into confounding beauty somewhere along the way. 

“N-no,” Gillian stammered.

“Good.” She reached out and brushed her knuckles against Gillian’s cheek. 

Gillian’s eyelids fluttered and that mere touch sent her mind spiraling off in a million directions—sunshine, fireworks, fields of daisies, fields of puppies and kittens, kaleidoscopes, rainbows, champagne fountains, no wait, gin fountains, no wait, rivers of wine and pizzas as big as flying saucers coming to take over the earth, and oh God if I get this insane over something like this, imagine, just imagine, what actual kissing would do? 

Caroline tilted her head and gazed at her quite intently. If it had been anyone else in the world looking at her like that, Gillian would have interpreted the look as longing or actual desire, or at least something tantamount to these states. But it’s Caroline, who is as elegantly complex as the chemical equations that she has admired and studied all her life. Caroline, who lost great happiness but gained a child in the cruelest bargain of her life. Caroline, who deserves far better than anything Gillian can offer. 

Then clamor from the kitchen—the whistle of the kettle, rattling dishes, Celia’s singsong teasing and Flora’s delighted laugh—as the house woke up around them, and the sunlight along the wall tilted at windmills of clouds and time. 

  Caroline looked away quickly but rose from the sofa languidly. Gillian watched as she stood, arched upward on the balls of her bare feet, and tucked her hands into the small of her stiff back. She rolled her shoulders and shook her shaggy, uncombed hair with such force that Gillian smiled and thought of a sheep dog. In morning light and sans makeup the fine lines around Caroline’s eyes and mouth gained delicate prominence and Celia was right, she’d put on some weight recently, but who the fuck cared, she was beautiful, always beautiful, more beautiful and more important to Gillian than anything else and she wanted nothing more than to be lucky enough to wake up to the sight of this woman every morning for the rest of her life. But all she had was this morning. Even allowing time’s prohibitive schemes, it still seemed an extravagance she did not deserve.  

  “Breakfast?” she said.

“I’ll help,” Gillian offered. She too got up. 

With immaculate aim and mocking glare, Caroline fixed her index finger upon the target of Gillian’s sternum and pressed, and it brought to Gillian’s infatuated mind that bloody old ABC song: Shoot that poison arrow through my heart. Tenderly she pushed and pushed that poison arrow until Gillian got the message and flopped into the heavenly bog of the sofa once more. 

“Not today,” Caroline said. “You’re a guest.” She grabbed the remote from the end table and tossed it into Gillian’s lap. “All that is required of you this morning is watching cartoons with Flora.” 

It sounded perfect, of course, but Gillian played along and groused about it. “If that is some sort of commentary on my intellectual capabilities—”

Caroline smiled and she was undone.

“—then you’re dead on as usual.”

[kenbinru]

I Can’t Believe I Have the Girlfriend of My Dreams! (An Unromantic Love Comedy LN) Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11

         Sigh.

         A 70.

         Thank God for Yuki-san’s chocolates...

It’s been a few days since Valentines’ Day and I noticed a lot of tension the school was feeling died down. In fact, the school’s vibe changed towards something more light-hearted, where you could hear small teases and occasional bickering from the new couples. I wish that was the case for me and Yuki-san in this world, but my goal was at least one step closer. She and I have been somewhat more comfortable than before. Like last Tuesday, she woke me up when the teacher asked me a question. I knew the answer of course. But other than that small incident, it is kinda awkward between both of us. There’s an indescribable distance between us, even though she did give me chocolate for Valentines. I’m still trying to think of a proper way to thank her, but I have no clue!

         Daisuke Akatsuka, my best friend since forever comes up to me at the right moment. He was still wolfing down the chocolates he received from the girls all around school. If anyone had any tips about how to deal with my dilemma right now, it was him.

         Play it smooth Kazuki! Don’t make it so obvious what you’re trying to do.

         “H-hey buddy ol’ pal.”

         I pat him on the back like he does to me. It makes him cringe.

         “Uh…what are you doing?”

         C’mon Kazuki you can still save this!

         “N-nothing! Just wondering how my partner in crime is doing these days…haha” I try to laugh it off.

         Daisuke wasn’t falling for it though. But he’s been through my charades long enough that he simply sighs and lets it go.

         “Well…things could be better, but that’s for another time. I guess if you don’t need my help I’m gonna go back to class…”

         “No wait!”

         “Hmph! I knew it!”

         Daisuke turned around with a smug grin.

         He knows me too well…

         “Well…here’s my problem Daisuke…”

         I explained to him my current dilemma of what to do as a thank you for Yuki-san’s chocolates last Valentines’ Day. I had to make my shot count, since Akane wanted me to “surprise” her other self.

         My girlfriend didn’t even give me a hint! How cruel!

         “I see…” said Daisuke.

         “You see Kazuki…when a man likes a woman, it can make you do very stupid things. Things like you when you confessed to the Ice Witch in front of the whole school…”

         “Y-you don’t have to remind me!” I exclaim.

         “But…you managed to someone recover from that and are now on good standing with her. If anything…you gotta be smooth…” as he slicked back his bleach blond-tip hair.

         “Smooth…?”

         “No no! You gotta be smoooooooooth…”

         I don’t get it.

         “Ah…smooooooooth…” as I copied his exact motion for slicking back his hair.

         “But you get confessed to like on a daily basis Daisuke!”

         “W-well…it’s because I’m not interested in them! There’s someone else…” he steps back.

         “Wait! So that means…!”

         Who does Daisuke like?!?

         “Yeah…I’m just waiting for the right opportunity…”

He cunningly smiles to me and rubs his hands together.

         “HEY! What are you two dummies talking about?!?”    

         Suddenly comes Kaneko-san the school’s roadrunner from Class 2-A. She ran in here like her usual entrance, leaving a dust cloud behind her. It was like she used instant transmission since she suddenly appeared right behind Daisuke.  

         “N-nothing Mary!” said Daisuke.

         He and I were trying very hard to hide our embarrassment from Kaneko-san catching us off guard while bro-talk.

         Now’s not the time…

         “U-uh…I got something to do. Bathroom. I feel an uh…stomach-ache! Bye!”

         Daisuke runs off leaving a dust cloud behind him exiting Class 2-B.

         “Okay….” said a confused Kaneko-san.

         “Anyways…KAZUKI! What was your score on last week’s test…?”

         Kaneko-san had a smug look on her face. She was trying very hard not to burst out and straight up say her presumably high score. I suck up my pride and tell her the truth.

         “You win this time Kaneko-san, I barely passed…”

        I was ready for Kaneko-san to start laughing or teasing me, but this time she didn’t. She took my test and looked at it thoroughly. Instead of a simple beck and call like usual, she had a genuine look of concern. I’m not sure what would be worse.

         “Wow…you really messed up Kazuki. You know I was sort of joking about you being an idiot…”

         Yuki-san overhears our conversation and turns towards me. Since Valentines’, I’ve noticed that she tended to smile more, ever so slightly though. Both Kaneko-san and I are waiting for her to grace us with her wisdom.

         “I’m sorry Kaneshiro-san, but what happened?”

         Well it probably had to do with the chocolate…but I can’t say that!

         “I’m not sure Yuki-san, I just didn’t have enough time to study given what’s happened recently…”

         Besides Valentines’ Day, none of us spoke about the “rescuing Yuki-san” incident that happened. We were all glad to be alive and mostly come out of it unharmed. Even Daisuke didn’t want to talk much about what happened, even though I was completely fine afterwards except for a knock on the head. Being his best friend, I couldn’t be cruel and make him relive memories of thinking his friend was dead. Kaneko-san, Daisuke, Yuki-san, and I all grew a newfound appreciation for each other, as we were all connected with that experience.

         “I hope you do better next time Kaneshiro-san.” said Yuki-san.

         With that surged a newfound motivation in me.

         I won’t let you down next time Yuki-san!

                   I’m back in Dr. Mori’s office. Needless to say she wasn’t a big fan of Valentines’ Day. This time she wasn’t drinking coffee at all. Instead she was dumping a whole box of candy into her mouth. I never thought of her having a sweet tooth, but I saw that the clearance sticker on the box was too good to pass up. It was still part of our usual check-ins after my accident. So far, I like to think that I’ve been progressing well with my recovery process. Although I still had some small headaches here and there, it was nothing in comparison to what was happening with my apparent “World-hopping” power. Dr. Mori said the closest explanation was lucid dreaming, but even then that theory still had some holes.

         “Y’know Kazuki-kun, I’ve heard that you barely passed the latest exam. What’s my favorite idiot-student doing?”

         “I’m not sure myself Dr. Mori. I just didn’t have enough time to study given what’s happened recently.”

         “I see…”

         Dr. Mori ripped open another box of candy and continued stuffing her mouth with chocolates.

         “Even Mary’s been doing better than you-” She almost chokes but manages to gulp down the last piece. “-and your job was to teach her!”

         “I-I’m sorry Dr. Mori!” as I bow my head in shame.

She gave a long sigh.  

         “It can’t be helped. Why don’t I find someone to tutor you? How about…I don’t know? Akane Yuki from your class?”

         Dr. Mori grinned from ear to ear.

         Oh. Oh!!! Thank you Dr. Mori! But I can’t show her I’m ok with that, she’ll make fun of me more!

         “Uh…sure. You’re right it can’t be helped. I’ll swallow my pride as a man and accept my new teacher.”

         Dr. Mori pats herself on the back with her genius idea.

         “Yuki-san isn’t in any clubs either, and don’t worry, she won’t say no. Word goes around there’s a popular cat café across town…and the school forbids students from having jobs.”

         She was seconds away from maniacal laughter, but she held back. It was like she had been waiting for an opportunity to bring down Yuki-san.

         What does she have in store???

         “Also, you’re welcome Kazuki-kun. Ah young love!”

         Someone marry her please!

           It was time for my regular study session with Kaneko-san. However, Dr. Mori already told me that Yuki-san should be joining us today. I tried to go to the study room with her but she left too quickly from my class. As I’m heading towards our usual room, I see Kaneko-san.

         “Hey Kaneko-san wait up!”

         I run up to her from behind. She slows down and I catch up with her.

         “You’re running late idiot.” said Kaneko-san.

         I can tell that she wasn’t in the right mood today. Ever since the results of the test I’ve been getting weird mixed signals from her. Our previous tutoring sessions were mostly quiet, and it was me doing most of the talking, when it would usually be her screaming in frustration of being unable to figure out the questions.

         “Are you ok Kaneko-san?”

         “Yes, everything’s fine.”

         The thing is, Akane told me that when girls say they’re ok like that, they’re not really ok.

         I may be dense, but not that dense!

         It was obvious to me that something was bothering Kaneko-san, and I asked her a few days ago what was wrong. She simply replied that nothing was wrong. Kaneko-san was the school’s best athlete after all; I can’t even imagine the expectations everyone else had for her.

         We reach our room, and Kaneko-san being the impulsive one slides the door open with a bang. Only she suddenly stops and blocks me from entering with her tiny frame.

         “Hey…what’s the hold up?”

         I look over Kaneko-san’s head, and there she was. Yuki-san was already inside our room, reading her usual black-covered book. With her presence, the atmosphere changed from a happy-go-lucky vibe that me and Kaneko-san built up, into something that was more serious. She was sitting at the end of the table, like a queen sitting on her throne. She was patiently waiting for both of us and it seemed that she didn’t even notice that we were here. Kaneko-san and I come into the room, finally catching her attention.

         “What are you doing here?” said Kaneko-san.

         Kaneko-san was biting her tiny lips, as Yuki-san promptly closed her book and stood up from the chair.

         “I have been assigned by Dr. Mori to help you two raise up your grades.”  said Yuki-san.

         Yuki-san sat right back down onto her chair, and popped open her book, trying to find the part she left off. She didn’t even glance at the two of us still standing in front of the table. Kaneko-san slammed her bag in front of Yuki-san.

         “I don’t need your help. I already have Kazuki. Don’t you have a job?” said Kaneko-san.

         “I do. But Dr. Mori made me an offer I cannot refuse. I have already told my manager that I would do more shifts on other days instead.”

         Despite all that, Yuki-san was still unfazed, reading her book.

“Besides, you two would be hopeless without me.”  

Yuki-san closed her book finally, and let out her cold gaze, befitting of her “Ice Witch of Kasumigaseki High,” reputation.

         “Nghhhh…” Kaneko-san didn’t have a rebuttal to Yuki-san.

         I better say something before these two kill each other!

         “Kaneko-san c’mon. I’ve been doing badly lately and I need some help too. A student can’t be better than his master right? Even a master needs a refresher or two every once in a while haha…”

         Kaneko-san stops pouting and gives up. Defeated, she pulls out her notebook and starts looking over her work. I open up my science notebook and we begin our study session.

         “Alright you two, I have already analyzed your strengths and weaknesses. Kaneko-san, you have improved in English, but it leads more to be desired. However, your literature score was better than your previous score. So let us start with English. For Kaneshiro-san, you have been in a disappointing downward spiral ever since your incident. My condolences for your situation, but your literature grades have been slipping, so we will start there with you.”

         It was the cold calculating Yuki-san that everyone of Kasumigaseki High knew. Both Kaneko-san and I were hit in our pride by her thorough examination of our weaknesses. It was different from my tutoring style, and I had to admit that it felt weird. I put away my science notebook and pull out my dusty literature textbook. I look out into the window and see gray clouds forming in the skyline.

         This is gonna be a long afternoon…

           I’m in my bed now. What’s crazy was that it suddenly started raining! The weather forecast only gave about a 10% chance of rain, but it still happened anyways. Luckily for me, I left before it started pouring.

Oh Wait! It would’ve been perfect if I had an umbrella for Yuki-san!

I grab my pillow to the side and yell into it. For some reason, I was still bothered by Kaneko-san. Kaneko-san’s been weird since Valentines’ Day, and I haven’t been making much progress on Yuki-san either, even with Akane’s help. Akane said that Yuki-san probably doesn’t what to do either. Those two have a lot more in common than you would expect.

         This is giving me a headache…

         In a few hours I’ll wake up in the other world, World A(kane). Like usual, I wake up to see the bedhead of Akane Yuki sleeping next to me. It feels like a dream when I see her, but it’s all real. So far she and I have been studying together more than anything. To be honest, even though we’re apparently a couple, we haven’t really done anything “couple-y.” We haven’t done anything that other couples do, it’s like we’re both too busy with school for anything like that. We’ve been trying to have some spare time to do something together. Akane likes to think of it as “practice for Yuki-san.” She’s been planning a date together sometime soon, because it’s been a while since our last date at the amusement park. She wouldn’t let me on the details either, except to expect a surprise.

         We didn’t even do anything for Valentines!

         I open my eyes to confirm that I was in the other world now. I see Akane sleeping softly next to me with her red ribbon. I can feel her breathe as her sweet air hits me in the face. It feels pleasant. Even with her snoring and some random mumbling, it was undeniably cute.  

         “Nyaaaaa kitty cat…”  

         How cute! My heart!

         I head down to the kitchen to start making breakfast. Mother already left since she and dad were still on their Valentines’ Day trip. It was my turn to cook something, since Akane would wake up earlier than me usually and cook anyways (not that I didn’t mind, her cooking is on par with my mother’s!). My mother hasn’t revealed her secret recipe just yet, but I managed to come up with my own from observing her closely. The aroma of the spices and grilled meat starts to diffuse around my house.

         “Hamburg…steakkkkkkk my favoriteeeeeee…”

What the?!?

A zombie-like Akane suddenly appeared behind me! She was dragging her body forward, with her arms in front of her like she was in a trance. She paused, only to continue follow the scent with her sniffing.

She’s not wearing any pants! I can see her pant-!

         Akane starts getting closer and closer to me in the kitchen, until she finally wakes up in front of me.

         “AHHHHHH!”

         Her scream and push both knocks us down onto the floor.

         She’s on top of me!

         Her long black hair covered most of my face, so I couldn’t see her as clearly. I could however see the blush that was powerful enough to seep through her hair. She stands up and helps me off the ground.

         “I-I’m sorry Kazuki!”

         “I-I’m fine really!”

         We’re both started by a loud sizzling noise on the stove-top.

“Oh the hamburg steak!”

         Before I could react, Akane already managed to take off the hamburg steak to let it rest on a plate. In one quick motion, she managed to cut the veggies and started to sauté them in the same pan.

         “Y’know, it’s my turn today Akane.”  

         “Yeah, but I don’t mind. You should be grateful considering you knocked me down like that…”

         Hey wait a minute!

         “You knocked me down since you can’t stop your appetite!”

         Akane starts to fake cry again.

         “How can you say that to a fair maiden like me?”

         She stops the comedy routine and promptly serves the veggies along with the hamburg steaks. I’m not sure if my hamburg steaks would have come out as well as hers.

         “Dig in!” said Akane.

           I help her wash the dishes since that was the least I could do. Akane was unusually quiet this morning. Too quiet. She was staring off into space, randomly blushing here and there during our meal. Despite the rather awkward moment this morning (not that I didn’t mind!), it felt like she wanted to say something but was hiding it.

         “H-hey Akan-“

         “H-hey Kazuk-“

         We both have the same thought and I’m interrupted. I can’t help but laugh, and she does as well.

         We’re in sync this morning.

         “You go first Akane.”

         “I didn’t know when to bring this up, but I’ve planned a practice date for you Kazuki! It’ll be fun sinc-“

         She gets interrupted by the doorbell.

         Strange, who could that be?

         “I’ll get the door!”

         I dash to the door to see who’s already here this early in the morning. I open it only to see Daisuke and Kaneko-san together.

         What are they doing here? Not that I don’t mind!

         Akane comes to the front entrance door and stands behind me.

         “Hey it’s Daisuke and Mary-chan!” said Akane.

         It’s strange since Daisuke and Mary-chan both looked away from me when Akane appeared behind me. Until I realized that Akane still wasn’t wearing any pants. I whispered into her ear and let her know.

         “U-uh…like I was going to say, Daisuke and Mary-chan will be joining us on a double date. After I change haha sorry!” and she scuttles away.

         Wait what?

         Upon further observation, I notice that Daisuke and Kaneko-san were equally embarrassed; looking away from each other. But Kaneko-san had a slight smile of satisfaction. I look and notice they were holding hands, albeit reluctantly.

         Then that means…?

         “U-uh…let me change too guys. Come in.”

         So they will be joining us on a double date?!?

           Good grief…I was just walking back from the hospital when it suddenly started pouring. It’s just my luck that a 10% chance of rain actually happens. I try to dry my wet hair the best I can.  

         “Achoo!”

         A cold is the last thing I needed. Now I was stuck here at the old dusty bus stop along the road, and all I could hear was the loud cacophony of pouring rain, hitting the metal covering above my head. I hear what sounded to be splashes coming closer and closer to me.  

         “NGHRNGHRNGHR!”

         A girl in a red track suit wearing a Kasumigaseki High uniform underneath appeared! She lowers her track suit that was covering her head, and her blond hair flows out from it. It was Mary! She was pouring wet from running in the rain. The Roadrunner of Kasumigaseki High was standing in front of me at an abandoned bus stop.

         “M-Mary?!?”

         She tries to move the wet hair out of her face, and her blue eyes meet mine. Her cheeks were bright red from the cold.

         “Oh! Daisuke-kun! What a weird coincidence haha! Thankfully I found someplace to stay dry until it stops!”

         It was indeed a weird coincidence. I didn’t know Mary lived around this part of town.

         “Do you live around here Mary?”

         She untied one of her shoes and tilted them to the side, trying to get some water out of it. Her socks were wet enough that I could see through them.

         “No not really. This is just my usual route I run for track after having tutoring sessions with Kazuki. When it started raining I ran even faster!” said Mary.

         School was almost 2 km away. When she showed up she barely showed any signs that she was running for that long. She finally sits down next to me.

         “Achoo!”

         I cover my sneeze with my arm and move in the other direction away from Mary.

         “I-I’m sorry! I think the rain’s gonna give me a cold.”

         I try to laugh it off. But Mary reaches into her bag and pulls out some paper tissues.

         “You have snot all over your face haha!” said Mary.

         She and I joked around a lot. As I reached for one of the tissues, I can see that the white shirt that was part of her uniform was soaking wet. I could see through! I quickly grab a tissue blow my nose into it.

         “T-Thanks Mary!”

         I can feel my face was getting heated, and my forehead was burning up.

         “Uh…are you okay Daisuke?” said Mary.

         “I-I’m fine!”

         Any other girl I was normal around. Confessions were almost on a daily basis. It was just with Mary for some reason I felt weird. I knew everything about this girl over the year. I knew her favorite color, I knew her favorite song, I knew her favorite food. We’re both sitting at the bus stop together, waiting for the rain to subside.