#shall i reblog this and add specific details

[aroaessidhe]

some aspec books coming out in 2024. netgalley, I am in your walls

[thejournallo]

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE VOID STATE AND THE VOID:

tag: @aestheticlizalis

As always, I will love to hear your thoughts! and if you have any questions, I will be more than happy to answer them! If you liked it, leave a comment or reblog (that is always appreciated!). if you are intrested in more method check the masterlist!

Every time I end up talking about the void state, there is a part of me that tends to raise awareness about the void itself. It is a thing the void does not help you manifest, like the void state. In this post, I will try my best to explain how much these two things are truly different.

WARNING: COGNITO HAZARD (For those who do not know, a cognito hazard is a term used to describe an image, pattern, sound, or any other kind of sensory signal that directly causes harmful or undesired physiological or physical effects to one who senses or perceives it. (It is specifically used as a warning when talking about "forced awakening" things like the void.)

You are free to believe or not believe every word I will say in this post, and you are free to not believe every word I say. If, while reading this, you start to feel a negative emotion or a sensation as if you are lost or bodily or emotionally sick, DO NOT CONTINUE READING.

let's get deeper in this rabbit hole shall we? 

i will talk breefly about the void state and then i will get in a more detailed way into what the void is, just because i aready explained the void state many times.

the void state:

is a state of deep meditation where you feel like floating and feel nothingness embodies you, making you feel one with the universe helping you to manifest. (Click the name if you actually want to know more.)

the void:

The void is nothing and everything at the same time. Let me explain better: the void is a place where everything is possible and exists, but at the same time is impossible and does not exist.  The thing is, the void in itself is a pass to every other dimension because every dimension resides in the void, even the cursed ones or the ones that never will be or never were timelines.  As a person with a lot of experience in the void itself, I will tell you that it is not a nice place.  Every kind of entity can catch you, good or evil, whatever they might be. As mere humans in the void, we are exposed to a lot of deep-rooted energy that corrupts our bodies in the long run. 

As humans, in the void, we can only "survive" in the backrooms.

what is a backroom?

One thing that is definitely more popular than the void itself are the backrooms that reside in the void. The backrooms became popular around 2012 as a SCP thing as images of liminal spaces. But I assure you, they are pretty much real, and they have many levels, not in a specific order. On every level, we can find different things and different entities, as mentioned before. We can find the good ones that will try to keep you safe and the bad ones that will literally try to kill you. 

I will also add that the backroom exists because we are the front room, so for every timeline in existence, there is a backroom, and much like the universe, the void is pretty much endless, so there are infinite possibilities for the frontroom and the backroom.

why im i telling you this?

because I talk from experience, and let me tell you some of them were not fun. Still to this day, when I go to sleep, I find myself in the void. Bruh, I don't know how it simply happens. And that's been my life since I was 14 years old. I had my time to understand and learn a few rules to exit the backrooms fast enough or not to be killed. 

I will put them at the end, but first, a little check on the main differences that we found out about the void state and the void itself:

The void state is a meditation; the void is an "endless place.".

The void can be a dangerous place, but the void state is harmless.

The void state helps us connect with the universe; the void is not used to manifest.

The void is a constant state of rooted energy, which means, in more basic words, that the energy in the void is dirty, and on the long run, a normal human will not "survaive.". In the void state, it is your energy.

In the void state, we find only ourselves; in the void, we can find an endless amount of dimensions, timelines, frontrooms and backrooms, entities, and liminal spaces. Some are all put together.

If you decide to go into the void state, it is a conscious decision. You can mistakenly enter the void by just falling asleep.

Those are the main differences, just because I can't say much more about the void itself because, as said before, it is a forced awakening, and I don't want people to feel sick with too much information. 

if by mystake you enter the backrooms here some rules that will help you get out faster:

Don't scream; you will give off your location to any type of entity. In whatever level you enter, you will find the exit in the same level.

Not every level is scary. Some have flowers and are pretty; others are simple rooms. Those levels are safe as long as you don't hurt yourself. Be careful.

Don't take stairs, and don't jump in holes or on poles. Again, you will find the exit on the same level as you entered.

If you see fluffy entities, look at their eyes first. If the eyes are blue, they are friendly; any other color is to be avoided.

There is only one entity that is 100% friendly and will help you. It looks like a shadow with no features; it does not talk, but you will understand her.

If you hear a sound, go in the opposite direction; if you feel like a sound surrounds you, hide and stay still no matter what; some entities don't have eyes.

If you can't find the exit, pray to whatever god you believe in, and good entities will find you and help you.

On rare occasions, you might find other humans; don't trust them; they are no longer humans.

and I think that I said everything that has to be said. If you have any questions, I will be more than happy to answer them, and I hope you did not feel sick or do any negative things from this post.

[sluggles-errands]

Kinda an announcement? Kinda not? Either way ooc post that I don’t think is important enough to warrant the important tag

Sorry I’m not replying to asks super fast I’ve been doing things and wanted to let you guys know about it! I’ll tell what I’ve been doing and what my plans for the blog are after.

- First off I’ve been making a model from scratch in blender, it’s hopefully going to be a fully working sluggle model, I likely will not make it a model anyone can use (sorry) and I’ll show it when done but it will take a while.

- Second I am working on a discord server for pressure ask blogs! It will be open to all ages and all types of ask blogs from oc to canon and etc, as well as those who just follow and send asks to blogs. It’s almost done but I still have a bit more work left to do.

- Lastly for what I’ve been up to, I’m working on 2 posts to work as documentation and info about sluggle and lumi (separately), so people can find out more specific details that won’t be on ref sheets as well as lore and other things people figured out through asks or rps.

> Now for the blog itself I shall clarify I am not leaving because I made it sound that way lol

> I am planning to try and doodle more for asks! Not every single one but I would like to draw more! They will likely be between 3 types and it will all depend on just how I’m feeling that day: sketch, chibi, and rhe current color filled sketch.

> I am thinking of adding a few more tags to further differentiate posts (ie rp, reblogs, asks) instead of the general ones I have now, but that is just an on the fence idea.

> There is a chance I will move lumi and natalie to their own blogs, or remove natalie from blogs entirely due to the fact I haven’t finished her lore enough to be satisfied. For now I may add that asks have to have an indicator between sluggle or lumi or both otherwise it will be defaulted to sluggle. Once again unsure if I will actually add this or not.

> Last thing, I plan to try to do events even if mini ones, I do have a plan for an event rather soon, possibly a week or so from now but don’t take my word as gospel because I’m not entirely sure if I will or won’t.

Feel free to give me opinions on the last “>” parts in comments or something I’d love to hear what you guys think about my plans. Thanks for reading!

[maaxverstappen]

I’ve been asking ppl cus im nosy. What’s your writing process like if any? Do u have a preferred place or time. Preferred device. Do u write rough drafts then edit or is it much more considered. How do u decide that an idea is worth fleshing out or pursuing if it looks like it’s plotty. Pls yap at length if u so wish — wiz

i love this question!! and would love to know other answers so if you want to reblog them i shall be on the lookout 👀.

i answered partly here so will just like build on that!!

the process is that i’ll have an idea and depending on how large it is write out some sort of outline. my preference for all planning in life is on paper so i have a little journal that ill write out some ideas in. kind of brainstorm / mind map style of just jotting down random ideas that come to mind.

however, with longer fics like my current post-as-i-go wip i have to do it digital bc so much changes and it’s too long (see pics in previous ask). that one i actually started planning in my notes app on a plane bc the idea had to come out of me someway and i was really excited about it. i then transferred it to a google doc and added onto my chapter per chapter outline (1st pic in previous ask). i felt like that was a bit overwhelming for understanding the overall plot so then i went and made a simple overview of the key plot points per chapter (the 2nd pic in previous ask) just so i felt like i had a better understanding of the goal per chapter.

now when i sit down to write a chapter ill get both the detailed notes and the main plot points and just write whatever i feel like in order to get to the goal of the chapter.

for shorter one shot fics i’ll either have no full outline or a one page idea list kind of thing. for instance, for worth the trouble i knew that it would start and end in the present time and then everything in between would be a flashback, but i didn’t know the flashbacks would be non chronological until i was writing it. same for the chewing gum aspect that ends up being quite an important part of the symbolism and that almost weaves the parts together, that wasn’t a *thing* until i was almost finished with the rough draft and i then went to add it in to previous scenes.

for my long fic i have to be a bit more calculated with the hidden messages/foreshadowing as i can’t go back and edit published chapters lmao so that is a little more thought out + i keep track of loose ends to tie together at some point.

editing is a bit of a harder one. for my long fic my overal editing is per chapter, but i do tend to go back and edit per section too. like right now I’m writing a texting scene and first i wrote the plain texting dialogue, then i went back to add the bits in between from characters’ pov. then i’ll read over it fully and edit where needed. finally when the whole chapter is done ill read over it and edit again, but at that point it’s mainly grammar and punctuation.

my main writing issues i’ve noticed so far is that i tend to switch tenses without realising so that’s something i look out for when editing. i also am always worried they don’t *do* enough so i like to think “hmm what action can i add in here to make them more human” when editing.

so far only worth the trouble has been beta read, the rest i do myself. if I’m stuck i will talk through a lot of it with my partner who will give me some ideas and just like help lmao (she’s also the one that beta read wtt!). but she’s not in the f1 fandom so it’s a little hard to have her beta read for characterisation and specific plot points so i do that myself. like when she beta read wtt she gave a few points of feedback that weren’t too relevant bc the average f1 fic reader would understand (like the significance of spa21, there is no need to explain it).

I’m a baby fic writer so a lot of my process will be redefined and refined as i go I’m sure.

as for deciding what to write, it’s really whatever captures my attention. the prompt for help me hold onto you is one i really liked and a trope i love reading myself. i was also ready to challenge myself to a longer plot fic and i was really excited about the idea so i just went for it! my main consideration is really just how excited i am for it.

i will say that i am currently really struggling with perfectionism / imposter syndrome. I’m having a hard time getting the words onto paper bc it feels like it’ll never be as good as my favourite authors anyway so what’s the point. (which is now also impacting the way i read fics bc it makes me sad that ill never write anything as good as what I’m reading lol)

i generally write on my laptop! in a google doc with grammarly activated and the word count on screen (which pisses me off bc i have to turn it back on after every refresh). i wrote my latest crafty!oscar on my phone (bc i was too excited to wait till i got to my laptop) but wouldn’t ever do that for anything much longer or plot-ier than that.

i fear this has gotten very long. i know u said yap away but …. i perhaps have yapped too close to the sun.

[iridescentxstars]

Come on in, take a seat, pick up a story and immerse yourself. While you're welcome to come and go as you please, here are some rules and guidelines, some little things to be aware of when diving into the abyss.

ೃ⁀➷ For those who know me, hello~ for those who don't, kia ora, my name is Star and I am your writer for the time you are here. I mostly write Kim Jongin and Bangchan fics but sometimes there are some other idols sprinkled in somewhere.

ೃ⁀➷ This account is for those 18+. If you are under the age of 18 and are still on my account — you will be blocked. Any blank blogs will also be blocked. Add a header, reblog posts, and engage with people — don't look like a Tumblr pornbot with a random name and no activity.

ೃ⁀➷ Always remember that I do this for free. My time and energy are unpaid, and everything that I do takes hours to create, so please remember that feedback and appreciation goes a long way.

ೃ⁀➷ Requests are taken now and again. Mostly, I will put up a poll for what shall be written next with small summaries but full requests themselves will not be accepted due to inspiration. Drabble games are the only exception but even then, not all submissions will be accepted.

ೃ⁀➷ Do not pressure me into writing something. Whether it's pushing to get a series completed or wanting a certain scenario, these will not be tolerated. You are allowed to show your support and excitement for something but there is a difference between "can't wait for the next part" and "when are you going to finish x chapter?"

ೃ⁀➷ As a growing writer, I am always experimenting with new ways of bringing stories to life. This can include but is not limited to: different tropes/AUs, lore, POV, reader insert, OC, and genres. Every story will provide details of what they contain so if you don't want to read something, you are warned at the very start.

ೃ⁀➷ I do not write for any members of Monsta X, married idols, idols involved in scandals, or anything that makes me personally uncomfortable.

ೃ⁀➷ While this account is a safe space for anyone who is over the age of 18, I will say that I am someone who writes based off of myself and my worldview. I do not write mxm, I try to avoid mentioning race, and I write majority fem characters. There is the odd occasion where my fics can be gender-neutral but for transparency, I do want to state this. I struggle to write things I cannot connect with, one day I may be able to but as of right now, if you are wanting specific aspects, I can recommend writers who do these amazingly instead.

ೃ⁀➷ Some of the stories I write may be triggering for some audiences. I try my best to trigger warn as much as I possibly can but there may be some things that I do not deem serious enough to warn or may not see as a trigger myself. Feel free to let me know of anything that I miss.

ೃ⁀➷ Any story that is rated [M] (mature), please automatically assume that it contains any of the following: drinking/smoking, swearing. I will not be warning about these.

ೃ⁀➷ I know that Tumblr is home of the 'reader-insert' community but as I have stated in the past, sometimes a story is better told (and easier to tell) with an OC. This may mean fully describing and naming the character or this may be as simple as only describing them. To those who may complain about this, please do remember that most books that you'll read in your life outside of fanfiction are all OC characters.

ೃ⁀➷ The best support you can give is feedback and reblogs. Likes do not help my stories get out there. Tell me what you like, what you loved, how you felt, whether in my ask box or commenting on the post, in the reblogs or screaming in the tags - it all means the world to me and pushes me to write more.

ೃ⁀➷ You are welcome to speak to me if you are inspired by something and want to create something to go with it e.g. video edits, gifs, continuations. Please speak to me before doing so and do not upload anywhere else without my permission.

ೃ⁀➷ Do not send hate. If you don't like me or my stories, block and move on. Any anon hate will simply be ignored and deleted. I'm too old for high school bullshit and will not engage in petty drama.

ೃ⁀➷ You are free to send criticism but make it constructive. Do not abuse your ability to give feedback that is not at all helpful.

ೃ⁀➷ Do not plagiarise my work. All my stories are copyrighted from the moment I created them. If I do have some similarities to other ideas, these are merely coincidental, and any direct inspiration will be credited.

Dividers credit to @firefly-graphics & @cafekitsune [amazing creators] Graphics/headers credits to @kwanisms

[look-at-the-soul]

The Photoshoot (Behind the scenes)📸♥️

Hello! I just thought I wanted to share some important details about this story, to me it’s not only a fanfic, is the way I find to praise Cillian’s performance as Tommy Shelby, knowing how different he is to the character and how challenging it might have been, I thought this as some kind of tribute for his role, as Tommy will be making more appearances when he starts shooting season 3. To me this role allowed a lot of people to see the tremendous job he did.

So I have been thinking how it was such an unexpected turn, I know, I know some of you may be thinking that Erin is lying, and how this was a wake up call, maybe she is, maybe she isn’t… I know the last parts might seem like things are going to get difficult, before they get better, so all I ask is some patience, hang in there you will understand more about their background.

In the meantime, I also wanted to thank to that person who only reads and jumps into the next story (don’t be shy, I’d love to know what you think), to that one who leaves an invaluable ♥️, to that person who after reading leaves a comment sharing a quote, their thoughts, something that the chapter reminded them of, also I want to thank those who hit the reblog button, thanks to you, your share of my little story maybe could lead to someone new who will read it too.

Your thoughts and comments is what keeps this going and I sometimes even re-read the replies, because when I started it, it never crossed my mind I would even get one in the first place. One more time, thank you, as long as there’ll be even just one person reading and leaving encouraging comments, I will keep writing it.

If you like this story, don’t be a stranger I will be very happy you stopped to say hi 👋🏻

I just wanted to share just a little bit of what’s behind this story, lots of screenshots, notes, the endless emails to myself (😬) with new parts I get to add during the day, or just general ideas I have for upcoming chapters, quotes that inspire something specific… there’s a long list behind, shall I also mention the hundred visits a day I make to google translation? 😋

I hope you also enjoy the ride, because I’m loving this story so much.🥰

If you’re wondering what story I’m talking about, you can find “The Photoshoot” here

🌷Lots of love, Mar.

[btswritingcafe]

WELCOME TO BTSWRITINGCAFE

In time for the magical season, our network is hosting its first Holiday Fic Exchange! Much like you see with Secret Santa, the same rules shall apply. We want to create a great experience for everyone involved where you feel the love that you deserve. With seeking to involve our own members, we have created prompts that you are able to choose from!

Interested in our holiday event? Please read on for more details!

BASIC GUIDELINES

you do not have to be a member to apply.

must follow the network if you are not a member.

read the entire post for rules and timeline.

read our network rules.

reblog this post.

fill out application.

must have a discord to be included in our event server. if you do not have one we can make it work.

be willing to send anonymous asks to your assigned partner at least twice a week.

do not reveal your identity until the posting week in december.

tag your secret santa fic with #cafeficexchange21

FIC EXCHANGE RULES

every person will have an opportunity to choose a few prompts from the lists below that must be incorporated into the story.

every person will have an opportunity to choose a few prompts that the Santa will incorporate (as stated above).

an admin/mod will help to communicate about the important details of your partner.

while working on the fic, you must send anonymous asks to your partner twice a week (it can be more frequent if you would like). in this time you can get to know them more.

you must choose an anonymous cute nickname to sign off your asks with. we will have a selection to choose from in the application.

your fic word count can be any length as long as it is more than 500.

do not write fics that are a continuation of a previous project. this fic exchange should be something new and specific to your person. do not use this time to add onto your other stories.

keep in mind there will be adults and minors involved in this event. you will have an option in the application to let us know if you are comfortable to have a partner that may be an adult or minor. our rules apply for these events. minors cannot write smut and adults cannot write smut for minors.

you may apply to have more than one person assigned as a partner. which means you will write fics for more than one individual.

make sure to do your best to write something that captures what your person requested. do not hesitate to ask for help from the admins.

there will be a discord made for event, specially for communication purposes. make sure to be cautious and not to reveal who your partner is in here.

read below for timeline and prompt options!

PROMPTS

Here you will have the opportunity to choose at least two dialogue prompts that you would like to see in your fic!

FLUFF

"Please be mine just until the day ends."

“For every chocolate kiss you take, a real kiss must be given in return.”

“I was going to confess first! Take your confession back!”

“Mistletoe is allowed only for the holiday season.” “It is the holiday season.” “Oh…then kiss away.”

“Love in the form of handholding is ideal…so allow me to never let go.”

"I wanted to see the first snow with you."

“The only gift I ever wanted was you.”

“Wrap me up like a present because I’m all yours.”

“All those wishes on stars finally led me to you.”

“They say to watch snow falling with someone is a sign of love….and I couldn’t agree more.”

"I’m offended, you look great in this ugly christmas sweater. This is a scam.”

“I love you, and I love christmas, but if you shove one more handful of snow down my back i'll be getting in contact with my lawyer.”

"Yes merry christmas to you too love you lots now please stop jumping on the bed.”

“This weather makes me cold but being with you makes me feel warm inside.”

“Mistletoe at every door? A lot of kisses are in order.”

ANGST

"Mistletoe is not romantic. It’s a parasite!"

“Christmas is supposed to bring people together but I have never felt so torn apart.”

“I just wanted it to be you. Only you.”

“Seasons come and go…so why does it feel like your love does too?”

"I didn't think my Christmas would end up with me crying.”

"And you think this would be the best time to bring that up?”

"The only Christmas present I want is to get out of here.”

“I've out grown waiting for you to come around as my christmas miracle.”

“I lost myself in the process of clinging to our happy memories….I’m not the same.”

“On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me….a broken heart.”

“There’s nothing happy about this holiday when you refuse to meet me halfway.”

"Christmas has only ever brough me stress...and you contribute to it.”

“You said we would be happy…why did I believe you?”

“I want to be wherever you are not.”

“It’s the holidays that reminds me of what I never had….that’s why I hate it.”

TIMELINE

September 26th - October 2nd | sign ups

October 3rd - October 7th | drop out period, if you can no longer participate in the event

October 8th - October 9th | partners are assigned by a message from the admins/mods

October 10th - December 2nd | sending anonymous asks and working on fics

December 3rd - December 9th | posting week where you reveal your identity to your partner

December 11th | masterlist created

— Thank you for being interested in this event! Please do not hesitate to send a message to the network for further clarification.

[fantasy-dating-sim-trash]

I posted 3,029 times in 2021

64 posts created (2%)

2965 posts reblogged (98%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 46.3 posts.

I added 392 tags in 2021

#obey me - 60 posts

#obey me satan - 56 posts

#obey me shall we date - 55 posts

#shall we date - 49 posts

#satan obey me - 42 posts

#satan - 41 posts

#i mean damn - 24 posts

#obey me mc - 22 posts

#holy shiiiiiiit - 22 posts

#obey me main character - 21 posts

Longest Tag: 78 characters

#who makes spread sheets for a catch game and thinks its fun?!? apparently i do

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

How to eat Crayons

MC: "Who takes off the wrapper when they're eating crayons? Just eat the entire crayon, don't be a bitch!"

All 7 brothers: ... *blinks in the audacity of this bitch*

Satan: that's not healthy! Nor should you be consuming a product that's not intended to be eaten.

Lucifer: MC you've been spending too much time around Mammon.

Satan: however if you have eaten crayons can I ask you some questions? *puts head on his hands to study the MC* I'm interested in knowing how it could potentially effect a humans body. Don't spare any details. *Pulls out a pen & notebook*

Lucifer: *pinches the bridge of his nose* Don't encourage this kind of behavior Satan.

Mammon: *offended noises*

Levi: *snickers*

Asmo: *horrified* MC That CANT POSSIBLY GOOD FOR HOW U LOOK!?! You can't do that to your gorgeous self!!

Beel: wait you can't eat crayons?!?

Belphie: Beel we talked about this. *sighs* No you can't eat crayons.

Beel: *puts a finger up to ask a question*

Belphie: yes that means with & without the wrapper.

Lucifer: *gets out of his chair* I'm done I can't do this anymore. Don't talk to me for the rest of the night... Wait make it the rest of the week. All of you are giving me an intense migraine. *leaves*

MC, Satan & Belphie: *share a look*

Beel: *sad demon noises*

Belphie: *pats Beel on the back*

106 notes • Posted 2021-07-06 07:27:39 GMT

#4

MC: *sitting on the counter in the kitchen legs swinging* Hey, Beel. I've got a question for you.

Beel: *looks up from the fridge* What's the question MC?

MC: Do you think different foods help with different cravings?

Beel: *forehead scrunched and goes back to looking in the fridge* I'm not sure I follow. Like different cravings? Like you're just hungry? Maybe go eat something?

MC: *shakes their head smiling* Not that kinda craving Beel. A different kind, I guess? Like chicken NUGGIES! *nods their head* Like how nuggies can only satisfy the craving for death for a short period of time!

Beel: *head whips up confusion and concern evident on his face* Satisfy a craving for what now MC? Why would you crave that??? Do you need to talk about anything? I'm always here if you need to talk or vent about anything that's bothering you?

MC: *laughing* I mean that's a very Beel response. I'm not sure what I expected as an answer but that sure didn't disappoint me. Its just back in the human world most people aren't what you would call okay I guess. So we often joke about it a lot. As a way to deal or cope with all the stress we feel. Since we relate to the fact being alive is really hard and hasn't gotten easy as time has gone on.

Beel: That's not a very good thing to joke about. It is kinda worrying that you think that talking of that as a joke.

Satan: *blinks in shock while walking into the kitchen* I'm not entirely sure what I walked in on, but if it helps I'm always down to bring some anarchy to the human world. *smirks* You know just for some additional fun and chaos. Plus it would be fun to add a little spice to humans boring, mundane lives up there. *shrugs* Also MC my door is always open for you if need to talk about whats going on in your brain. *flushes red slightly and looks away*

MC: *give a small smile* Thanks both of you for the offer. I really appreciate it and I'll take you both up on it, if the need arises. I promise! Oh Satan I was just asking Beel if he thought specific foods would help with different cravings. Like how nuggies make the craving to die go away for a little while. *quizzically cocks head slightly to the side* Do you have any interesting thoughts about this?

Satan: *goes to fill his water bottle of water, pondering* You mean like how spicy foods help with the craving of stopping your thought process temporarily? It's Especially helpful when you want to stop with any kind of negative thinking. Since you're more focused on how spicy the food is, and how it burns your mouth? That it stops you thinking about anything else except the burn. However that probably would only work if the person has a low spice tolerance. You mean like that MC?

Beel: *concern growing and his jaw drops in worry starts picking at the food at random*

MC: *snaps their fingers* YES EXACTLY LIKE THAT! You understood what I was getting at! Like that Beel?

Beel: *concerned noises and starts grabbing bigger quantities of food from the fridge* Are either of you okay? How... What... *his eyes going wide and flickering from side to side, starting to mindlessly pitting the food on the countertop beside MC*

MC & Satan: *share a look*

MC: I think we may have broken his brain a little bit.

Satan: *walks up near the MC closing the water bottle* I'm in agreement with you on that one. I think he's just buffering and trying to process what we said. Just give him a minute.

Beel: *puts the last of the food on the countertop, closes the fridge finally looks at both the MC and Satan*

MC & Satan: * eyebrows raised*

Beel: *grabs both of them into a bear hug and squeezes them tightly* You know I care about the both of you right? I love you both a lot!

MC: *squeaks tries to squirm* Beel ...you're crushing... me a little...

Satan: *squirms and struggling to get out of Beel's grip, getting red in the face* Beel, I'm gonna ask you nicely. Could you possibly please let go of us? You might hurt MC if you squeeze any tighter! They're human and a bit more fragile than us.

Beel: *shakes his head although loosening his grip a little bit* Nope! Not happening! Right now I'm making sure the both of you know you're valued and loved. Since that's part of being a family! We may fight and argue but we're supposed to be there for each other at the end of the day! So I want you to know I'm there for each of you!

Satan & MC: *look at each other in defeat knowing that when Beel has made up his mind theres no changing it. They both stop struggling and just let him hug them. Both of them internally vowing to make sure not to make him this concerned over them again. Plus Beel did give the best hugs out of all the brothers*

Beel: *happy demon noises as he hugs them*

Belphie: *walks into the kitchen wondering where his twin was sees the current scene happening. snickers and sighs a little to himself while slowly backing away fully knowing what happened. Since he's made that mistake before and not wanting to get dragged into it. He really did have the best twin brother, he was sure of it. Smiling to himself he goes back to his shared room to have a nap*

115 notes • Posted 2021-07-14 04:17:13 GMT

#3

Lucifer: I've got three moods.

Lucifer: 'Existing'

Lucifer: : 'staring at the wall',

Lucifer: or 'working'. That's all I know how to do.

Satan: *popping his head in* You give yourself too little credit about what you know how to do. You forgot you know all about being Diavolo's bitch boy! *starts running away cackling*

Lucifer: *goes after him*

Later

Mammon: *finds Satan strung upside down from the chandelier*

Satan: Totally worth being strung up! It just proves my whole point! *looks at Mammon blonde hair hanging out of his face* What?!? Lucifer and I had a creative difference in opinion. He said he only knew how to do three things. I just pointed out the fact that it wasn't true. He knows all about being Diavolo's little bitch boy.

Mammon: *laughing* Honestly that makes sense. But you forgot the most obvious thing he knows all about doing.

Satan: *eyes shine* Oh and what would that be? *smirking and his eyes go a bit wide but that fact goes completely unnoticed by Mammon*

Mammon: *shrugs* As if you don't already know. The most obvious fact he forgot is that he's a huge buzz kill and ruins any chance of fun we try to have by being an overbearing dictator.

Satan: *snickers and scoffs* Oh. How could I forget about that?

Mammon: *realization hits, sighing* He's behind me isn't he?

Satan: *raises an eyebrow* What do you think?

Even later

MC: *finds both brothers string upside down from the chandelier, sighing* What did you two do this time?

Mammon: *scoffs* You assume we did something wrong? Ha!

MC: Gives a pointed look*

Satan: *looks at Mammon* Mammon you really aren't all there sometimes I swear. Obviously something happened BECAUSE WE'RE STRUNG UPSIDE DOWN! *coughs* From the chandelier.

Mammon: oh right. Yeah we messed up. *shrugs*

Satan: We were just honest with Lucifer and he didn't like our version of the truth. Weirdly enough Mammon and I agreed on something for once.

Mammon: yeah! Like he only knows how to only do three things? As if!

Satan: Clarifying on Mammon's point, Lucifer said he only knew how to do three things. I then told him that he knew more than what he was giving himself credit for. Like he knows all about being Daivolo's little bitch boy.

Mammon: I then found Satan string up from here. Then told Satan the he forgot the most obvious thing Lucifer knows how to do. That being such a pain in my ass or a massive buzz kill whenever anyone wants to have any kind of fun. *grumbling*

MC: *laughing and smiles* I think you two are forgetting another thing he knows how to do pretty well! That is stringing his brothers upside down from the chandelier as a form of punishment. So he knows how to do more than 6 things clearly! *sees the look on the boys grim faces then feels a looming presence behind them, sighs* He's behind me isn't he?

Mammon & Satan: *small nods*

MC: *whispering* damn it..

Even more later

MC: *hanging right side up with the two brothers upside down* He's such a god damn buzz kill! He's so goddamn sensitive about what anyone says about him! He think he knows everything. Holy hell, he really doesn't know how to handle the god damn truth!

See the full post

136 notes • Posted 2021-07-13 04:18:39 GMT

#2

MC: *yelling at their D.D.D. screen* QUEER baiting is wrong, so LETS ATTEMPT MURDER! *sighs* Fucking hell why would they do such a thing!?! Don't pander to the community and say explicitly there's gonna be queer CONTENT ONLY FOR THERE TO BE NONE OR LIKE A 60 SECOND CLIP!

Satan: *pops his head through the door* Did I hear someone mention murder? *walks into the room*

Belphie: *wakes up from his nap on the couch* Murder?

Mammon: *attempting to walk into the room nonchalantly* What kinda murder we talking about here? Not that I care that much about it anyway but you might as well tell me while I'm here anyway. *flops on the ground near the MC*

MC: it's just this show I enjoy. The creators of it announced that there was gonna be a canon queer ship in the new season, and I will say they sounded mighty excited about it. Only for one of the queer couples to be killed off within like a minute of showing the representation!!! How could they do that!?! I just wanna murder them for doing that. *pouts, puffing out cheeks* it ain't fair!

Asmo: * walking into the room as well, then fluffs and ruffles the MC's hair giving them a hug from behind* You're so adorable when your mad MC!! I didn't think you could get any more adorable!?! How ever we don't want those wrinkles to leave any marks do we? And for them to make you less cute. *pats their cheek, moving to the front of the MC then sitting next to them*

Mammon: OI! STOP TOUCHING AND GETTING HANDSY WITH THE MC, ASMO! I WAS THEIR FIRST! YOU NEED TO BACK OFF!

Asmo: *rolls his eyes*

Lucifer: *storming into the room* What the hell is all this commotion I'm hearing out here!!! I can't do all this paperwork or get any WORK DONE THAT I need to with all of you making so much damn noise!

MC: *Glares* I want to attempt MURDER LUCIFER! I'M VERY UPSET RIGHT NOW! CAN'T YOU TELL HOW DISTRAUGHT I AM!

Beel: *comes into the room with a mouth full of food* waph abpfft Murffph fjdbdisnem?

Lucifer: *pinching the bridge of his nose sighing* MC, you need to stop acting like Asmo; we only have room in this house for one drama queen. And Beel how many time do I have to tell you NOT to talk with your mouth full of food. Nobody can understand what you're trying to say.

Asmo: I AM NOT A DRAMA QUEEN LUCI! *puffs up like a cat and dramatically gasps* How could you say such uncouth things about me! I am the absolute epitome of beauty and grace! You take that back Lucifer!

Satan:*sighs* Lucifer can you just shut the hell up and let the MC explain. It's not that hard to let other people or demons speak without you interrupting them. You could just let others speak their mind and have an opinion that doesn't align with your own for once. Or are you too proud to admit it?

Beel: *food swallowed at this point* My bad, I said what about murder?

Levi: *barging in all huffy* ughhhhh what's with all the noise I can't watch the newest episode of my anime! Can't you normies be quiet at any time of the day?!? There's only so much time in THE DAY TO WATCH ALL OF THE STUFF. I'll never get caught up at this rate.

Lucifer: Satan... You better watch what you're saying or I'm GONNA STRING YOU UP NEXT TO MAMMON FROM THE BANNISTER OR THE CHANDELIER!

Mammon: OI! WHAT DID I EVEN DO THIS TIME!?!

MC: *realizing this spiraling out of control, and that they have to say why their angry quickly and loudly* OMG Y'ALL NEED TO SHUT UP AND STOP ARGUING ALL THE DAMN TIME! I'M UPSET OVER A SHOW I WAS WATCHING QUEER BAITING THE ENTIRE COMMUNITY!!!

Everyone: *blinks in stunned silence*

Levi: *understanding crosses his features* I'll summon Lotan!!! Thats such an unfair and unusually cruel thing to do!!! We can murder them by drowning or Lotan can do it! I hate it when creators of a show do that to their audience!!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM!?! Its like when you think a ship is gonna happen in a story and it gets all set up and then they go the completely OFF the rails IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION!

Satan: *nods and scoffs in annoyance* That's the absolute worst. Like what was the whole point in setting up that plot and storyline!?! It was a complete waste of everyone's time. *grins* I've definitely got some nice spells and curse I've been dying to try out, that we could use on the creators.

Asmo: We can totally ruin their reputation on all social media platforms!!!

*everyone else starts slowly getting angry about it and starts supporting the idea making plans on how to murder the creators who made you upset*

MC: *sitting there dumbfounded at how fast the mood changed, and it how seriously they were contemplating actually murdering these people*

Mammon: so we are all in agreement then. WE RIDE AT DAWN TO MURDER SOME QUEER BAITING BITCHES!

246 notes • Posted 2021-07-11 04:10:48 GMT

#1

MC: *grumpy* fuck being nice Imma start biting people

Lucifer: *walks past* You need to be on your best behavior MC. To set a good example to the rest of the exchange program.

MC: *glares then bites Lucifer's arm*

Lucifer: *looks down like Excuse me*

Satan & Belphie: *snickering*

Belphie: I guess they do bite? Who knew?

Asmo: *looks over* That's kind of kinky. You know MC u can always bite me, and we can do more than just that if your down for it.*practical purrs that out* The invitation is always available and only just for you *smirks & winks*

Lucifer: *glares* you have to the count of 3 MC to get off my arm or else the punishment will be severe. I do not care if you're a human. Get OFF NOW!!

Mammon & Levi: *attempting to pull MC off Lucifer's arm*

MC: *bites down harder out of spite*

Mammon: You don't wanna piss him off MC! Now is not a good time to do that!

Levi: It would be wise to stop biting him MC! You don't wanna be strung up from the banister!

Satan: *is filming the whole ordeal*

Beel: if u want MC u can have one of my lollipops? Instead of biting Lucifer. *hands over an extra giant spiral lollipop he had been saving*

MC: *reluctantly let's go, and takes the lollipop* FINE! I'll stop. for now... Thanks Beel! I appreciate you sharing this with me! *smiles at him then starts to eat it, while grumbling* He shouldn't have told me what to do, fucking bitch.

Lucifer: *glaring*

The other 6 brothers: *trying not to laugh*

341 notes • Posted 2021-07-10 04:10:54 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[marwan-simposium]

Rules!

Welcome to the Simptember Event, hosted by Marwan Simposium! Your event mods are Sam, Kellin and Viola! We would like to challenge and inspire you to create fanworks for this wonderful actor.

What is the event? This event is basically a prompt month! We have made a prompt for each day of September, with the Sundays left open for free choice. The prompts are open for all kinds of fanworks - you can choose which ones you like best! CHECK IT OUT HERE. This event runs from Wednesday, September 1 until Thursday, September 30. Because the server which hosts this event is 18+, this event shall be so too.

Details on the rules are under the Read More.

Who is this event for? There are many amazing creators, whether they write fic, draw art, make moodboards or create other amazing fanarts - we love all of them, and therefore our event is open to all kinds of creations. Think of art, manips, fics, playlists, podcasts/podfics - if you can create it, we take it!

This is a Marwan Event. Does that include all his projects or one specific film? This event would like to cast a brighter light on Marwan and all that he’s done so far! So, if you feel inspired to create something for a specific movie he did, or even for something back in his theater days, we can only encourage you to create it! We are aware that Marwan has played some… dubious characters, but that does not mean they are off-limits! This is a discourse-free event and gives free reign to all creators.

What about pairings? Considering the hosts of this event are also here because of The Old Guard, and they’re familiar with the Crossoverelli multiverse (shipping any Marwan character with any Luca Marinelli character), they’d like to include it. However, it is not mandatory to choose out of the Crossoverelli! If you wish to pair a Marwan character with a different character or no pairing at all, that’s fine too! All we ask is that Marwan/Marwan's character is the main focus of this event!

There are multiple prompts per day - does my work have to involve all of them? No, you’re free to choose one of them! There are the ‘main’ prompts, with various options listed underneath them, given as examples. You are welcome to choose one (or more) of the sub-options, though you are not obligated to do so - as long as your work includes the main prompt, it counts!

What is the rating of this event? This event is open to all ratings! We therefore have both NSFW and SFW prompts. Please tag your works appropriately before submitting.

Speaking of submitting…? Considering this is a prompt month, we ask you to publish your works on the day of your prompt! There is an ao3 collection waiting for you! You can upload your work to ao3 and submit it to the collection - one of the mods will add your work as soon as they’re able. If you don’t wish to upload it to ao3, or if you want it uploaded on tumblr, too, tag @marwan-simptember-event and use the #marwansimposiumevent tag when you publish your work and we will reblog it! We’d love to feature your work!

Are there any goals to achieve when I participate? As a matter of fact, yes! We want to boost this event, and so we have a challenge for you! We’d like to challenge you to complete a prompt for every day of the week - it doesn’t have to be of the same week, but we’d like you to try to get at least one prompt-fill for each! For each day you complete a prompt, you can earn a gold medal! Let the mods know you completed a day, and fill your week template! The medals and template will be handed out in the discord server, or ask for them in a DM!

Does this mean I have to fill out every single prompt? No, don’t worry! We like low stakes and free choice! Out of the entire month, you only need one day of the week for each - so one Monday, one Tuesday etc! However, if you feel inspired enough to create for every day, we won’t tell you no!

I am a fic writer. Do the prompts have to have a minimum and maximum word count in order for them to count? No, not at all! Frankly, we’re happy with all that you’re willing to create!

Where can I go when I have any questions? This event is hosted by the Marwan Simposium discord. We’d like to invite you into the server - you can always @ us there or send us a DM

What if I don’t have discord? That’s okay! Our ask-box is open, and so is the DM of this tumblr page!

PROMPTS

The prompts are categorised by days! Each day has its own theme.

Mondays are love prompt days - every Monday consists of a prompt your work should revolve around! Tuesdays are trope days - focus your work on a trope! Wednesday is kink day - there are both SFW and NSFW options, but if you want to use a SFW prompt in a NSFW setting or the other way around, that’s allowed too! On Thursdays we’d like to hear about your favorite things! Fridays are Canon days - or rather, we’d like you to explore outside canon. Saturdays are reserved for AU’s! The Sundays we’ve kept open - feel free to create something outside of the prompts!

We sincerely hope you will have a lot of fun creating, and we look forward to all the wonderful fanworks we hope to receive!

[himbo-buckley]

The Big Buddie for Dummies Guide

Hello party people and welcome to whatever this was supposed to be!

Quite a while ago I got an ask by someone about doing a guide on all the canon indicators for Buddie to explain the ship to non-shippers and about 5 anxiety attacks and four weeks later, I finally did it!

So read, enjoy, reblog, validate, disagree!

Also here are some notes before we get started:

Buddie has been around a while now and there are some incredibly people writing about them and doing meta posts for them, some of which I asked for their opinion which I will link at the end and some of which I am quoting in a way / have been inspired by (Also feel free to send me all and every post related and I will link it in the text as I will try to do the same)

This Guide is organised by the following themes we find in the show with Buddie: trust - coparenting - connection and love life - subtext

I’m not gonna lie, this is incomplete af because tbh? There is so much stuff that can be interpreted as evidence for Buddie but this is too long already so I left some stuff out, I hope ya’ll don’t mind … (also the reblog  option exists for reason, just add on what I missed, I’m not gonna bite!)

I’m gonna assume the person who reads this has a general understanding of the show and its scenes because I cannot explain every scene down to it’s very detail (I mean I can but that’s another 20000 words worth of meta and not sure anyone wants to read that … again) but I will try and link fitting gifsets (again, send them my way if you feel I should include sth.)

I should also add a warning for the fact that I, personally, think I am hilarious but others might not but fellas, Idc! (Also I cuss, some people don’t like that?)

So let’s get this show on the road then, shall we? I call this meta : „We might end up real close.“

(alternate title: „Buddie stans ship hard but canon ships harder“ or „This is Timbo’s story (of becoming more famous than Joss Whedon) and I’m just it’s vessel“)

Trust

We’re gonna start this off strong (I mean all of them are strong themes) by talking about the biggest theme with Buddie which is trust. It goes all the way back to 2.01 and the gym scene and Buck basically telling Eddie he doesn’t trust him (complaining about Eddie’s comfort level, anyone?) and that he needs to earn that - which rude but also I get it.

In fact there are two main themes which I combined into Trust which begin in 2.01:

„You’re my problem“ and „You can have my back any day“ both of which sort of sum up Buddie, because from the get go Buck decides hey, this guy is my problem and then he proceeds to make everything about Eddie his business. Eddie meanwhile tells Buck he’d love to have him watching his back - meaning Eddie trusts him and wants Buck to be his partner.

(Side note: isn’t it beautiful how that is a complete reverse of their usual attitudes? Usually Buck trusts way to easy and Eddie never does but with each other it’s the opposite!)

Let’s look at the episodes in order, okay?

2.01: „I think I’ve seen this happen in porn before“

- „You’re my problem“: I’m gonna talk about the gym scene later a bit more but this sort of establishes the dynamic Buddie has? Because both are fascinated by and focused on each other from the get go. I mean: Eddie got to the 118 and everyone seemed to be nice to him except this one guy and instead of giving him a few days, thinking he’ll come around , Eddie is like: nah, I’ll confront him! Why? Maybe it’s gay, maybe it’s Maybelline, maybe Eddie „I am not enough“ Diaz was just sick and tired of everyone putting trust in him because soldier and craved the vibe check?

- „You can have my back“: Basically what happened was, they got the bomb out (being partners and in sync even when they didn’t like each other yet) and they stood outside and Eddie tries a new approach cause for some reason Eddie decided out of everyone at the 118 he needed Buck to like him specifically and so he pays the guy - who was nothing but rude to him so far but who is also very competent - a compliment and Buck gets all flustered and thankful - and „You’re my problem!“ gets rephrased into „Or you know, you could have mine!“

(Also the look of pure elation on Buck’s face when Eddie compliments him, you know the person Hen has basically said is so awesome and pretty it transcends sexualities? And he picks Buck of all people to have his back? Buck has no choice but to stan!)

- In terms of Trust we also get the pool scene which is our second instance of them being in sync and partners by both jumping into the pool and getting the guy out basically at the same time

2.02 / 2.03: „Why Edmundo Diaz hates earthquakes part 1 and part 2 (of 2)“

- „Where do you want us, Cap?“: Now looking at the timeline of 2.01 they’ve known each other for approximately four days as this is their fourth shift together (we see) and yet Eddie is already comfortable enough to answer for himself and Buck several times. He’s the one who decides they will go in and he answers the roll call later for the both of them. This is our first real instance of them being in sync and just their whole interaction, from Eddie going along with Buck’s plan about the elevator to everything else just shows how much they already trust each other.

- „I, uh, I love kids“: Also Buck in this episode, why was it so important that Eddie knows you like kids? Please share!

- “Eddie, you’re kid is in the safest place he can be.“: Connected to this is a sub-theme I like to call: ‚They know each other better than anyone else does‘ which is established here with Buck realising that Eddie is full of shit when he pretends not to worry about Chris so Buck spends some time trying to assure Eddie Chris is safe at school.

- „Is everything okay?“: Of course, the fact that Buck was the only one to check in with Eddie’s mental state from the truck scene onwards is very telling, because everyone else likes and trusts him but they don’t really care (yet)

- And the episodes end with everyone reuniting with their families, including Eddie - while Buck watches from the car because Buck drove him there because he has his back (also see Subtext)

2.04: „Hearteyes, motherforker“

This whole episode is what made several people ship Buddie and well, I can see it and I will talk about a lot of it with the other themes but for now:

- „I just feel bad for him. (…) Eddie’s working on it“: This episode really leans into the whole „You’re my problem“ with Buck apparently driving Eddie to the hospital (or at least coming along) to Buck clearing Chris coming to the station with Bobby to worrying about them at home until finally he introduces him to Carla.

Mind you, they haven’t known each other that long, yet Buck feels the need to meddle in Eddie’s life and fix his problems for him which, yes, is very Buck thing to do but still: Considering Eddie was introduced to us as this super capable guy, it’s interesting that Buck immediately saw through him and decided: yeah, that guy needs me to take care of him.

Or you know, to have his back.

2.07: „*Tommy Wiseau voice* Oh, hi Shannon!“

- „I needed someone to have my back“: This episode establishes the significance of „You can have my back“ even more because in this episode Shannon comes back and you know what they fight about? Eddie not having her back. Shannon quite literally says „I needed someone to have my back“ which is almost the same exact  Eddie tells Buck in 2.01 and with that wording as well ...

In the same scene Shannon also says how Eddie always knows best and is the one to make the decisions which  is another parallel you can draw to Buddie where Eddie began like that in 2.01 (the scene at the mechanic’s) and then began to follow Buck’s lead (the elevator shaft) / let Buck help him (Carla))

2.10: „It’s all about ‚figured it was none of my business‘“

I love this episode very much because there are several Buddie hints in there.

- “I think it’s none of our business.“: Connected to the topic of Trust is the scene between Chimney and Buck when they buy the Christmas tree and Buck keeps talking about Shannon coming to the station and the fact that Shannon and Eddie hooked up while Chim seems exasperated by this and frankly doesn’t care and he tells Buck as much, saying it’s none of their business. Except it is because Eddie is Buck’s problem, remember?

- „So … not gonna say anything?“: And then the „None of your / my business“ gets repeated in the scene when Buddie sits at the fountain talking about Chris and Shannon and they both say it’s none of Buck’s business. Yet Eddie then still tells Buck all about it sounding all defensive.

- It’s also the first instance of Eddie willingly searching out Buck’s advice about Christopher.

- And related to the topic of knowing each other well, considering how surprised Buck is by all of this, one sort of has to wonder how often they hang out outside of work. Because the way Buck acts makes one assume it’s quite a lot, which is why Buck is so hurt he doesn’t know about it.

- Also the fact that they so casually go somewhere with Christopher and the way Buck talks about him making it clear they have done this before.

- „Trying to protect your kid.“: On the topic of Trust I also wanna mention the fact that Eddie doesn’t trust Shannon with Christopher. Which is a direct parallel to 3.03 when Eddie tells Buck there is no one he trusts more with his son. And also 3.09 when Buck gets to be back in Chris’s life after the lawsuit as soon as Buddie made up yet Shannon needs to really beg for it? I mean, yeah.

2.13: „ Evan *I colour coordinate with bae while my sister is abducted and my brother is dying* Buckley“

- „Oh, no, I know what you were thinking.“: The scene at the hospital between Buck and Eddie does have a bit of subtextual relevance but I do think we should note the fact that this scene was in the show at all like this because wouldn’t Bobby have made a bit more sense? After all they spent one and a half Season before that making him the guy Buck goes to for advice and he has sisters as well, yet here we get Eddie being the one to talk to Buck.

We get Eddie basically telling Buck exactly what he needed to hear and while not exactly condoning his actions, he is also not judging them. Instead Eddie is telling Buck he might have done the same, because Eddie and Buck know each other and see each other.

So I wouldn’t necessarily call that scene Buddie-hinting but it does definitely play into the whole ‚having each other’s backs‘ and ‚knowing each other well‘ thing they got going on.

Also compare it to 3.06 in the way that both times Buck did something wrong and it was Eddie who actually took the time to listen to Buck’s reasoning and be the one to understand him, which is a very important part of their dynamic.

And the line „I wasn’t worried about that.“ in response to how Buck thought he would get away with all of this might be one of the top 10 heartbreaking lines of this show for me and that is saying a lot with 911!

2.14: „‚It’s a miracle… bro #nohomo’“

I am not fully sure if the scene of Buck freaking out about Eddie going back in to save the kid really fits in here, but I’m also very unsure were else to put it, so Trust it is!

- „Eddie, what are you doing?”: It does fit into the whole having each other’s back thing with Buck immediately jumping into action to try and help Eddie

- But in all honesty prior to 3.14 this would have not made the cut as I would have been like: eh, that’s just who Buck is as a person - but as 3.14 will proof / has proven, he can be calm and collected even when his sister, his ACTUAL family is in danger and while I would argue it was in part because there was less he could do to actively help in 3.14, it still deserves to be mentioned now

- Side note: considering 2.13 / 2.14 and 3.14 / 3.15 this marks two occasions were Buck being worried for Maddie’s life was followed by an episode of Buck being worried for Eddie’s life and that too deserves mentioning

2.18: „insert *Jane Austen film*-gif: It’s about the hands!“

- I’m not really sure if this is really connected to Trust but Eddie holds Buck’s hand the whole time, even after he has dragged him out from under the firetruck until they disappear in the ambulance.

- Also the fact that Eddie, who is probably stronger than Chimney, is the one helping Hen drag Buck out from under the fire truck while Chimney helps lift it is … worth a mention.

- Definitely connected to Trust is Buck’s insistence to going to Eddie’s ceremony because this is Eddie and he has his back

3.01: „How you know he no sleep naked?“

Yes, this scene has a lot to unpack. In terms of *trust* / how well they know each other:

- „He’s just sulking, Cap“: Eddie says about Buck. In my opinion the phrasing combined with how before that they were talking about how Maddie can’t get Buck to leave the house and he won’t answer any of Bobby’s calls implies that either a) Eddie too has tried to contact Buck with no success or b) is actually in contact with Buck, has talked to him and has concluded based on what he saw that Buck is sulking - and yes, I am leaning toward b).

- “Maybe you’ll learn something.“: Which brings me to the fact that it’s Eddie who makes the  plan to get Buck out of his funk and prove to him that he still has stuff to live for, despite how dismissive he had been about Buck’s feelings before, calling it sulking and saying Buck should just brush it off. Because Eddie has Buck’s back despite it all and is there for him and trusts him.

- „He’s hanging out with his Buck today“: In terms of actual Trust there is the fact that Buck is very much depressed in this episode - and what does Eddie do? Puts his son in his care, you know, the most important person in Eddie’s life, convinced that Buck will be able to take care of him despite how low and bad he is feeling about himself. One) because it has been the case for Eddie probably. Two) because this is who Buck is as a person even while depressed and Eddie trusts that. And three) because even before the Tsunami Eddie was very sure about how much Buck loved Chris.

- „Honestly I don’t know how to help him.“: This also parallels Maddie with Eddie in an interesting way because Maddie spends the whole episode worried about Buck and thinking he cannot take care of himself, while Eddie trusts in Buck to not only take care of himself but also his son. Which yeah, interesting.

3.02 „Eddie hates earthquakes - the remix“

- The episode sort of proves that while the others may have known what Eddie was gonna do, Operation „Buck up Buck“ was his plan because he is the one who has Buck’s back. (Considering for example Maddie doesn’t know about it as she thinks Buck is home and had Chim been involved he would have told her beforehand meaning this was Eddie’s plan and he executed it and then told the others about it while at work.)

- Also in terms of literal Trust: LA is hit by a Tsunami and Eddie doesn’t worry about his son once because Buck said they are going to the movies next and also because Eddie trusts Buck to protect Chris like he would.

3.03 „‚Do it for the trauma!‘ - Buck-edition“

Once again a subtext-mill but there is some textual evidence as well:

- “How do you tell your best friend that you lost his son?“: At the VA hospital Buck calls Eddie his best friend when he talks to Maddie which I always found weird in this context? Because it should always be hard to tell another person about how you got their child killed (which is not my opinion but the way Buck sees it here, okay?), yet the writers choose to put in a reference to how much Eddie means to Buck.

- Which connects to another subtext and text thing which is the voiceover which has Buck say the lines: „To be seen. To be found. Isn’t that what we’re all looking for?“ after talking to Eddie, which no longer just implies this is about Eddie but actually straight up says it - and it connects to the sub-topic of how well they know each other, cause Buck says in this episode: Eddie is my best friend and he sees me for who I really am. Which, yeah, is stuff one usually finds in connection to a love interest. (Will talk about it more with Subtext though)

- Also before that the voiceover has Buck say „Sometimes being lost is not knowing how to get from where we are to where we wanna be, where we need to be.“ right as Eddie knocks on the door, which basically states that Eddie and Chris might be where Buck wants to be but also how Eddie apparently knows how to get Buck there. Because he knows him so well. (He literally calls Eddie his life raft in the voiceover!)

- „Buck, there is nobody in this world I trust with my son more than you”: Now the Trust theme in regards to the loft scene is interesting in how it compares Buck to two people in Eddie’s eyes / life: Shannon and himself. Shannon, as I already said, we have with 2.07 and 2.10, both of which talked about how she left Chris (and Eddie) and how Eddie no longer trusts her because of this and refuses to let her back into Chris’s life. Which is different to how he always lets Buck back into Chris’s life, even after the lawsuit with virtually no hesitation once they made up as far as we can see. Meaning he trusts Buck more than he trusts Shannon. Who is, you know, his wife?

As for Eddie himself, I’m gonna flashforward a bit to 3.08 and the conversation between Eddie and Bobby. Because in 3.03 Eddie talks about messing up with Chris, yet how he never stops trying and how he knows Buck is the same way - which is interesting considering 3.08 has Eddie basically say that he has not forgiven himself for all those mistakes. Yet he forgives Buck both for the Tsunami and abandoning them during the lawsuit.

And now I wanna say something very controversial and hurtful but also connected to how I read Buddie and Trust which is that in my opinion? Eddie includes himself here. Eddie tells Buck here he trusts him more or at the very least just as much as he trusts himself with his son. Which is pretty big, considering he barely trusted his wife, the mother of said son, who he has known for at the very least about 11 years during Season 2? Someone he himself said he loves? Someone he at one point planned his future with? (Meaning he most definitely plans his future with Buck in it now…)

3.04 „discount!Buck in the house“

- Two things are in this episode, both of which are very much not about Trust in the literal sense but how much time Buddie spends together outside of work:

“Can’t fight city hall.“ Eddie being the only one on board with the fire drill Buck’s leading because he is a boy scout who follows all the rules but also because Buck probably talked to him about his job as fire marshal beforehand and so Eddie knows how important what is happening here is to Buck.

„You don’t know math.“: now, you can think this is another dig at Buck’s intelligence but you also have to acknowledge that at one point Eddie might have either heard someone reference Buck’s math knowledge in front of Eddie or Eddie has seen Buck try doing math and has remembered that well enough to immediately be able to pull out that dig. (Which brings us to a parallel I will talk about later!)

- “Uh, who - who’s that?“: I also firmly believe that Buck would have not been as willing to go along with the lawsuit, despite Bobby’s betrayal, had Eddie not immediately rushed off toward Lena at the firehouse, making Buck think Eddie (his partner) has replaced him. Does no longer need him to have his back.

3.05: „What if we fight like a married couple in a grocery store downtown LA, bro?“

Ah, yes, that episode! Filled with Buddie signs!

- “And if Cap says he’s not ready, he’s not ready.“: What I find interesting in terms of Buddie and Trust is the fact that Eddie apparently trusts Bobby’s judgement more than he trusts Buck’s. Which I find OOC. Or not because Eddie is a soldier and Eddie grew up fairly authoritarian it seems his first instinct will be to follow the chain of command / do as the person in charge tells him to.

- Now everything else that happens after including and specifically the street fighting storyline? That was a direct result of the lawsuit and the deposition in which Buck betrayed Eddie’s trust by revealing the info about Shannon. Which Buck is aware of because up until this point we see him still looking up, yet after this he drops his eyes and doesn’t really look at anyone again during the deposition.

- “And I’m not allowed to talk to Buck.“: Yet. YET despite this massive betrayal in Eddie’s eyes what stops him from calling Buck later is the fact that he wasn’t allowed to do so! Nothing else. Also the phrasing is very interesting as it gives us three entities Eddie considered to call: his abuela, Buck and the 118, meaning Hen, Chim and Bobby - the people he will call his family about 6 episodes later - are an uniformed mass but Buck is his own person - because up to this point Buck always had Eddie’s back. And we all know he still would have had! (Sidenote: this line is what made me an actual shipper and why ya’ll can read posts like this, so maybe say thank you to Lyndsey Beaulieu? Or fuck you, depending on your opinion of me ;P)

- „And now I can’t even talk to you.“: This whole scene gives huge character exposition and I’ve talked a shit ton about the fight in the grocery store before as have a lot of other people, but basically what it boils down to is that Eddie is mad at Buck because he revealed things about them to his lawyer but mostly because Eddie thought they had each others back and trusted each other and apparently Buck doesn’t trust and care about him the same way Eddie does for him because he didn’t even consult Eddie about the lawsuit? And Eddie misses Buck a lot. And Chris misses Buck a lot. And Eddie is already mad because Shannon wanted a divorce despite how hard he tried and then she died, meaning she left him again and now Buck left him as well and why is Eddie never enough for anyone?

And of course, as always, Eddie is mad at himself the most because he wasn’t enough for Shannon and he wasn’t enough for Buck and he’s probably not enough for Chris who is struggling so much and Eddie just feels angry and lost all the time!

I think this is the moment Buck finally understands how much he means to Eddie truly. How Eddie meant every word in 3.03. How for once someone actually trusted him, depended on him - and he let them down. Which was never his intention because Buck never understood that he could (which is not the topic of this post though).

- “Why can’t you see my side of things?“: On Buck’s side, while he isn’t nearly as mad as Eddie, he does raise the question of why Eddie didn’t have his back - which is a very fair question but Eddie is still too mad at Buck here to hear it.

- What is also very interesting about this scene is that no one, not even Bobby who was actually sued by Buck, is as mad at him as Eddie is and no one dares steps between them. Probably because everyone recognises they are closest with each other, so the conversation hits a bit different and also is about a lot more than the „stupid lawsuit“. Yeah.

(Real talk I have been very mad at friends before and I am known to make scenes but damn, this scene does not read platonic at all, it reads ‘married couple fights in grocery store in LA - what happens next will surprise you. News at 11.’)

- In other news, Eddie didn’t come to the rage room in the end and Buck was very very sad about it.

3.06: „*cries about the framing*“

(Sidenote: I feel Eddie so much in this episode, I too would be too embarrassed to talk to Buck had I just screamed at him in a grocery store in full view of all our coworkers. I too would avoid everyone like the plague and maybe join a fight club just so I would not have to deal with those feelings. I get it, my dude!)

- “Whew, dude, are you okay?“: We’ll talk about it with 3.08 as well, but it is very significant and pointed that Buck immediately knows something is wrong with Eddie when no one else at the station had seemed to be aware of that.

- “I don’t know what you want from me, Buck“: The apology scene is very subtext heavy but what it comes down to in the whole having each other’s back / knowing each other well / Trust - column is the fact that after being mad and avoiding him all day Eddie still sticks around and more importantly actually listens to Buck - which, as shitty as that sounds, but considering how he acted before if Eddie hadn’t wanted to still be Buck's friend he could have said something shitty and left or stayed and not actually listened to what Buck had to say - but he didn’t because as hurt as Eddie had been by Buck’s betrayal he still trust him and he wants to understand, which I do think sets Eddie apart from everyone else because Hen and Chim forgive Buck but they don’t ever try to figure out where he is coming from while Bobby is … being Bobby about all of. Eddie meanwhile, who has the most or maybe the only right to actually be mad about the lawsuit, still trusts Buck enough to know that he had his reasons and actually takes the time to listen to them. Even if he is being sassy.

- And on Buck’s side we do have his need to reconnect with Eddie the whole episode and we have him notice stuff about Eddie no one else did and we also have the really beautiful and mature line of Buck saying: „I just want you to talk to me. Even if it’s just to say you’re still mad.“ Which I love very much and tells us a lot about Buck and communication, because Buck values openness so much.

- “And I just wanted to…“ - „Punch someone?“: Also while it was important for Buck to explain himself to someone - it was especially important for him to explain himself to Eddie, both because he considers Eddie his best friend and also because the grocery store scene showed him how much he means to Eddie which probably floored Buck because as we learned before and also after: Buck is not used to people needing him as much as he needs them.

3.08: „XOXO gossip (fire)fighters“

- “Whoo. Nice truck.“: One thing about 911 is that it’s a very plot and action driven show, meaning sometimes it will lack the time to actually show us certain things, especially when it comes to relationships, so it relies a lot on telling us things about characters and their relationships and as these scenes here show us they do a good job at it. Buddie talking about Eddie buying a new truck is very casual and banter-y / flirty (this is a Buddie post so I call it like I see it) and light and shows us: hey, they are friends again and close again and they know each other very well - while also showing us: Eddie still keeps stuff from Buck but Buck knows something is off.

- “Eddie too.“: Which brings me to my next point and the thing I love most about this episode aside from Heidi which is Buck running around and going: ‚something is wrong with Eddie‘ while everyone else is like: ‚Eddie? Are you sure? I haven’t noticed anything‘

Which leaves two ways to read this:

Eddie and the rest of the 118 aren’t as close as it seems and they do not care about Eddie that much - which considering all the deep talk between Eddie and Chimney in 3b especially and the fact that he calls them his family would be fucked up and also doesn’t seem like the vibe they are going for OR

BUDDIE! I mean, look at what has been going on with the street fighting storyline, essentially the writers went: okay, so Eddie can't talk to Buck so he goes completely off the rails but no one will know because Eddie hides it so well - EXCEPT Buck will realise sth is wrong the second he looks at Eddie and once the lawsuit is done he will spend two episodes running after Eddie and trying to figure out what is going on

3.09: „#tw: mild adult themes & implied sexual content / #pwp - porn without porn“

- “He’s kind of obsessed with natural disasters.“: Honest question: Is Buck really obsessed with natural disasters or does Eddie have earthquake related trauma and Buck has been googling stuff and telling him facts to calm Eddie down every time the earth vibrates a little because a train or something passes them by?

In any case it’s a very cute scene with Eddie once more revealing how well he knows Buck and the writers confirming to us that yes, these boys spent a lot of time with each other and talking to each other - without needing to show the scenes

- “I could still take you“: AFTER ALL they needed the runtime to do this other little scene this fandom has not talked about at all ever mainly because it is so very straight basically people stopped shipping after.

I’m just kidding, obviously the whole scene was very queer both in subtext but especially in text, I mean, what even was that line about still taking him, Buck? There is a child not even 15 feet away, where is your sense for decency and decorum? DO YOU WANT TO TRAUMATISE HIM EVEN MORE???

A few notes on this scene:

- It’s been pointed out to me that Maddie complains about how everything around there gets shared with the 118 and how Buck … turns around and shares everything about his sister with Eddie, which I love because it seems so normal and comfortable between them like they do that all the time, which is way cute and domestic!

Added to that considering the conversation Eddie had the week before with Bobby about Shannon and the throwaway reference about thinking his marriage having been complicated, I wonder: Did Eddie talk to everyone about the street fighting and Shannon after his talk with Bobby in 3.08? Did he just talk to Buck about it? Did Buck know about Shannon wanting a divorce all along? (Yeah, you know were I am leaning, right?)

- “Especially if you aren’t around to see that they need saving“: As for the apology in and off itself, I’m not gonna talk about the character implications again cause been there done that, send an ask if you wanna know more, but what it comes down to is: Buck acknowledging that he should have been there for Eddie and he didn’t consider the Eddie of it all when he sued Bobby, which is interesting because OFFICIALLY Eddie really is just his best friend and coworker at this point so did he really have to consider his feelings all that much?

Also Buck is saying - and Eddie is not contradicting this - that Eddie street fighting would not have happened if Buck had been around, which, to quote a good friend of mine: Uff!

I think we can admit that while Eddie was mad at Buck, his anger was not primarily about Buck but it was amplified by Buck abandoning him. We can admit that Buck was what ultimately caused Eddie to lose his control and considering everything that Eddie went through in the past year with Shannon and considering everything Buck went through in the past two years: this is as close to unconditional love as these two can manage at the time and that is very beautiful and does support Buddie 100%. They are each other’s anchor and person the one they turn to in a crisis.

Or well, Buck is for Eddie. Buck does have more people like that in his life with his sister there and I do think before the lawsuit he wasn’t fully aware that he could depend on Eddie so fully because Buck always doubts how committed other people are to him because abandonment issues.

3.11: „Bist du single? Nein, eher Album!“

- „This is Eddie’s house. I’m not really a guest.“: Incredibly strong indicator / implications toward how much time these two boys spent with each other, considering how comfortable both of them are in each other’s space (and I don’t mean physical but material space). Eddie has a key to Buck’s apartment and just let’s himself in willy-nilly, while Buck is around in Eddie’s place often enough to not think of himself as a guest there. (And while that might be normal best friend behaviour to some of us, Maddie’s words imply that it is not for her / the Buckleys.)

3.14: „Frank says ‚Thank you, this paid for my new house!‘“ / 3.15: „MY therapist also says ‚Thank you!‘“

I’m gonna group these two together, since 3.14 in itself doesn’t have any relevance considering Eddie isn’t even in the episode but it does become relevant in regards to 3.15!

- Basically what it all comes down to is the contrast between Buck’s reaction to Maddie being in danger and his reaction to Eddie nearly dying!

Now I already said while talking about 2.14 part of it was that Buck was aware he was in no position to help Maddie and might actually make stuff worse if he intervenes while with Eddie he was HIS ACTUAL LIFELINE! He was actually responsible for getting Eddie out of the well and home to his family. BUT (!) it’s still very pointed, especially remembering they apparently changed the order of episodes around? Meaning we are really hit with the contrast and we have to consider the implications of it all!

- Also just Buck’s reaction in general, even with Chimney and Maddie in Season 2 he wasn’t this frantic, he wasn’t freaking out like that! This really seems like all those scene’s shows like that usually do to confirm one person is in love with the other by having them completely loose it at the prospect of the other dying.

And damn, does 911 delivers here, not just with Buck literally trying to dig down to Eddie with his bare hands but also with his conviction for the rest of the episode before going sort of catatonic near the end. Basically Buck was going through the 5 stages of grief over Eddie during the course of this episode and we just? Let him?

- Of course we should mention Buck has Eddie’s back always, so he doesn’t give up on him and doesn’t entertain the notion of Eddie possibly being dead for even a microsecond because this is Eddie and Buck needs him!

- And to add to the list of heartbreaking lines we have Hen saying: „Why? So we have two cut lines?“ because yes, Buck would choose to stay down there rather than let himself be saved if Eddie was already dead - and if Eddie wasn’t he would force Eddie to trade lines with him so Buck could be the one to die because Buck thinks Eddie’s life is more valuable than his and also he is a selfless idiot who loves Eddie more than himself - which frankly is a mutual thing if we look at 3.03

Option #3 btw would be that Hen knows Eddie has a legitimate reason to cut his line and he would explain that to Buck and - considering who they are - Buck would immediately agree and cut his line as well.

Anyways, no matter which option the writers were thinking off this line is heartbreaking and the implication interesting!

To sum it all up, the episode basically said: Buck would die for Eddie and he loves him more than anything else

- The Eddie implications of this episode are mostly Subtext, so we’ll get to them later in case you thought I forgot!

3.16: „The rope was a metaphor after all“

Tbh I do not think that this episode was really about how no person can be happy / live without regrets / not be lonely unless they are in a relationship with someone or they would not have put that much focus on the relationship between Maddie and Buck and the fact that his abandonment issues stem from her leaving.

- “He’s not gonna do it alone“: As for Buddie, the episode goes back to them being partners and in sync with the roof thing and yay, it has a different ending then the reversed situation the episode before but also it features a metaphor we will talk about later

- “Hey, you’re more than welcome to come and celebrate with a bunch of 9 year olds.“: Just like we will talk later about Eddie inviting Buck to the sleepover! Because while I don’t think the invite was all that serious and I don’t think even considering everyone else, Buck would have taken him up on it because celebrating with a bunch of 9 year olds around isn’t what Buck had in mind, it’s very interesting that the first person taken out of the equation is the guy Buck is closest to and probably spends the most time with.

- And now let’s talk about the playing pool scene because it once again shows that 1) Buck and Eddie are very alike, 2) they know each other very well and 3) they care about each other the most!

Because for 1) I do wanna point everyone to the fact that Eddie doesn’t have anyone outside his family and the 911 either or they would have mentioned him staying in contact with his army buddies or something.

2) Eddie is the only one who actually listens to what Buck says and gets what Buck is really asking, while Bobby, Hen and Chim are all too focused on their own experiences to get that the reason Buck tries so hard to help Red is because he thinks he is Red (I mean they do get it, but they don’t really realise how serious this is for Buck - yet)

3) There is also a lot of focus on Eddie in this scene which we will talk about later as well but it picks up the whole ambiguous „us“ from the grocery store which technically refers to the whole firefam but the way it’s said still implies that it is about the two of them especially.

To anticipate a bit: every time the word „Us“ is used in this scene Buddie only looks at each other. When Buck says „I mean that would never happen … to us.“ he looks at everyone else but turns to look at Eddie as he very pointedly says „to us“ and keeps his focus there for a moment. Eddie meanwhile technically turns to the pool table while he says the word „us“ but he only focuses on Buck before this and doesn’t look at anyone else because to him: Buck is the important aspect here. And no one else!

Not to mention the intense look Buck gives Eddie (and only Eddie) when he says „Better not.“. Like damn, in 3 Seasons Buck has never sounded this threatening before!

Basically the way this scene is acted combined with the words that were written it sort of reads like them going: We’re all family here but you and me will most definitely never leave each other!

I mean there is a reason why Buddie used the ambiguous „us“ while everyone else talked about the firefam being friends or being family.

(And yes, that might be a bit of a reach but this is a Buddie guide after all, so we are going with the buddie-est interpretation!)

3.17: „‚Don’t say her name‘-challenge“

- “Uh no, someone else.“: More of a subtext scene but it does seem pointed that Buck refuses to admit that he was thinking about Abby here, considering Bobby most definitely knew that Buck was talking about Abby because he was there for the hot-air balloon date, so even if he did not remember right away he knew the second Buck said he didn’t know from Maddie and since Hen and Chimney weren’t there in the truck (and also, they probably would have known who Buck was talking about as well) the only one Buck was hiding from was Eddie.

Which makes sense, even if you only look at them as best friends, because Eddie only saw the aftermath and what we canonically know that he heard about Abby were things like Buck’s speech in 2.08, so … even as just Buck’s friend he must really dislike her

(Also there is that whole parallel one can draw between Abby and Shannon which I talked about here)

- „Buck invites Eddie“: So I’ve been going back and forth on what to write here for a few hours now and what it comes down to is this: despite being 6500 words deep into a meta on Buddie and knowing full well the writers so far have no intention of actively doing Buddie, I would not accuse 911 of queerbaiting. HOWEVER, if the show ends and Buddie doesn’t happen I will consider this scene queerbaiting because there would have been ways to write this that did not leave the implications it did because the way it has been written the text is:

„If I bring my romantic life-partner to dinner with my best friend he will bring his romantic life-partner who will invite her brother who will invite his best friend and then we have to invite this other couple we are all close with.“ and well, one of them is not like the others, right?

(Well, technically two but Maddie and Buck are most definitely siblings despite that scene in 2.01)

Because essentially what that scene did here was say: If I bring my wife the evening turns into this couples night with all our friends - except Buck and Eddie aren’t a couple.

And sure, just like all great queerbaits there is a reasonable explanation as well as a completely platonic way to read this because of course Buck would not wanna be all alone with two couple so he would bring his best friend and the we’d have to invite the other couple we know as well so they don’t feel left out.

EXCEPT - and this is why it feel pointed and queerbait-ey: We have already seen the 118 hang out without Athena and Bobby at Chimney’s birthday and it was never mentioned to us whether they were invited and didn’t come - or Chimney didn’t invite them. Both explanations sort of make Hen’s point moot because it does proof that they can hang out without their boss slash friend and his wife slash her best friend without it being a big deal meaning especially if this was a make-up dinner for Chimney’s birthday they wouldn’t have needed to be there.

There is also the fact that supposably Alfred is still in town? You know, Chimney’s brother? So if they wanted to avoid the Buddie implication they could have also thrown in how Chim might bring his brother like:

„I invite you, so he invites Maddie, Maddie invites Buck, Buck invites Eddie, Chim might invite Alfred,  and now we gotta invite Athena and Bobby“ - see how that has a completely different feel? Now there are three single guys and two of which are siblings of someone else in the group while the third is friends with the rest of the group, making this sound less like couples night out and more like a group of friends hanging out.

But they didn’t do it like that so now it feels like they are pointedly equating Buddie with the canon couples of the show which is quite queerbait-ey.

3.18: „TrainCRASH? More like train WRECK? *cries*“

Okay, so this episode is a little hard to do because there is so much going on and a lot of it is very hard to categorise! As for the topic of Trust and having each other’s back:

- I do think that a lot of Eddie here come down to having Buck’s back - even when Buck might not think that’s what Eddie’s doing like in the train car, but he probably realised later which is why we see Buck talk about it with Bobby but not with Eddie because they are at this point where you no longer need to have clarifying talks (about stuff like that, once romantic!Buddie hits they’ll have to do all the talking).

And that’s basically it when it comes to Trust because most of what is happening in the episode when it comes to Buddie is Subtext!

Coparenting

I think this theme needs less of an explanation - though I do wanna point out that while I think Buck has fatherly feelings for Chris and Chris loves Buck a lot, Buck is not actually his parent / father. He is slowly getting there and if or when Buddie happens he might become Chris’s other parent but right now he is not. So this theme is about Buck being a honorary member of the Diaz family in general and Eddie’s treatment of him most of all.

Because the way I see Eddie him dating anyone would always be tied to his son. Eddie has been shown to be someone who would do anything for family and his son in particular, so the fact that Buck is tied into this family is important. It also shows how much they are already a family without actually dating and proofs they spent more time with each other than we see and more than with anyone else.

I should also say that there is a very heavy overlap between this and the category of Subtext so some things will be repeated but all of them deserve to be repeated so there is that.

2.02 / 2.03: „Why Edmundo Diaz hates earthquakes part 1 and part 2 (of 2)“

- Like I already said when I discussed Trust Buck is the only one asking who Eddie is trying to reach, he is the only one trying to reassure Eddie and he does so even though Eddie is being sarcastic and pretending he doesn’t need to be comforted - also a staple in their relationship

And I think this is also were their dynamic of Buck being Eddie’s go to person when it came to Chris came from. Buck told Eddie he liked kids and then he proceeded to actually show Eddie he means it and he cares and considering Eddie says the mother isn’t in the picture and Chris has no one else (which as we learn throughout the show is not 100% true because technically Eddie's parents are there, even if they have no idea how to properly raise Chris, but in LA Eddie doesn’t really have anyone (yet) he feels comfortable burdening with his fears about Chris), so that must mean one hell of a lot.

- “Hey. Service.“: There is also the moment at the end of 2.03 when Buck immediately tells Eddie: hey, service is back! and then he drives Eddie to pick up Chris which is a scene that has so much subtext so we’ll talk about it later! It does however give us our first‚ Diazs plus Buck‘-family moment because while we see everyone reuniting with their loved ones, we see Buck with Eddie and Chris and yeah.

2.04: „Hearteyes, motherforker“

- One of my favourite things about Buddie is how they manage to be exactly what the other person needs - or in case of this episode figure out exactly what the other person needs and giving it to them. It’s happening here and again in 3.01 and 3.03 and some other smaller moments as well (see 2.01 honestly).

It’s also interesting that Buck is the one to drive Eddie again because we saw he has a car! So why is that? Maybe because he knows the way better?

As for the coparenting happening here, aside from Buck introducing Eddie to Carla because he knows she is what Eddie needs, we also have Buck clearing Chris coming to the station with Bobby which is something Eddie apparently hadn’t considered but Buck had and instead of telling Eddie he needs to do that - he does it for him! Because that’s who Buck is but also because Buck realised in this episode how much Eddie really needs someone to have his back and just do stuff for him.

2.07: „*Tommy Wiseau voice* Hi Shannon“

- And in terms of having each other’s back this episode really shows the significance of this phrase with Shannon pointing out, like I said before, that from her point of view Eddie didn’t have her back. She needed him to be her husband and her coparent and he wasn’t.

Now we can argue whether that is true or not but it’s still an important parallel and puts Eddie turning toward Buck for advice into a new light.

Because as Shannon points out Eddie was never good at letting other people make decisions for him or with him before yet we continuously see him turning toward Buck for exactly that: sharing the load with him. And to put that even more into perspective: Buck is the youngest from their friend group, he is the one considered immature and he is the one without kids or younger siblings, yet he is the one Eddie choose for helping.

2.10: „It’s all about ‚figured it was none of my business‘“

- The interesting thing here is that Buck as Eddie’s friend really doesn’t have any right to know about what was happening between Shannon and Eddie if Eddie didn’t want him to, but Buck as Eddie’s family does (a little).

But either way this episode gives us another instance of Eddie confiding in Buck about his family problems - problems he again is the one most inexperienced with. In other words Eddie talking to Buck about it was really about Eddie wanting Buck’s opinion specifically.

There is also the fact that Buck came to see Santa with Eddie in the first place which is most definitely a family affair as far as I know US customs? (We don’t do this in Germany / Bavaria, okay? We have the Child of Christ and around the 6th we gather in the town square and shoot at it.)

It’s even brought up in text with the Elf telling Buck they make a beautiful family - and Buck not disagreeing because honestly it’s just easier and he probably knows how they looked. But yeah. That!

- Also not to repeat myself but the topic of trust is important here! Eddie not trusting Shannon in 2.07 / 2.10 with Chris vs. trusting Buck in 3.03 / 3.09 / 3.10 is important!

Yes, sure Shannon is his actual mother so Chris has stronger feelings for her and the potential to get hurt is way bigger. Yes, Buck was only gone from their life for a few weeks while Shannon was gone for about 2 years. Yes, Buck apologised twice while Shannon just played the victim card tbh (even though she did have a point with some of the stuff she said). But still:

Eddie is very hesitant to let Shannon back into his son’s life (and really his as well) while he does have no such qualms about Buck once Buck apologises to him in 3.06. In fact their relationship returns to normal with Eddie asking Buck for help with Chris numerous times while say 2.15 makes it clear Eddie still keeps Shannon at arms’ length and out of a lot of aspects of raising Chris.

Of course, giving advice to Eddie is not the same level of involved as actually parenting the child and part of it is probably growth on Eddie’s side when it comes to Season 3 but right here: it’s a stark contrast and it deserves a mention!

2.17: „*fridges female character for man pain* Haha, we’re so random!“

- „Ice cream? Oh, I do not envy you putting him to sleep tonight!“: There is the scene here where Eddie facetimes with Shannon and she is out and about with Chris and Abuela and they are getting ice cream and Eddie is all like: damn you’ll regret that later - which is the same thing he says about Buck in 3.02

3.01: „How you know he no sleep naked?“

- Buck gets a card from Chris which is a child thing to do but also should be mentioned because Buck does not get a card from Danny or Harry. And considering how much Buck likes children and how good he is with them we do have to mention that we only see Buck interact with Danny once and never with Harry while it’s been implied several times before the tsunami already that Buck does spend a lot of time with Chris. (Of course, in part this is due to how much closer Buck is with Eddie than Hen and especially Athena but still)

After all the season ends with Chris giving a card to his literal father, tying these two scenes together. And pointing out once again how important Buck is for Chris and the Diaz family.

- Also as I mentioned during Trust there is that parallel / contrast between how Maddie and how Eddie see Buck with Maddie sort of treating him like a child who needs to be dealt with while Eddie is basically like: let’s give him something to do so he feels less useless! (Guess who had the right idea! Just guess! And you have one try!)

- „Are we the only one’s without kids?“: There is also the cut from Madney talking about being the only one’s without kids and then remembering Buck to Buck getting woken up by Eddie so he can babysit Chris which I won’t say confirms Buck being a father to Chris but does accentuate everything he does for Chris after and gives the vibe that Buck does indeed have some fatherly feelings for Chris. It does at least place the idea of the Diazs WITH Buck being a family firmly into our heads.

3.02 „Eddie hates earthquakes - the remix“

- „How’s operation Buck up Buck going?“: Buck sending Eddie updates and pictures of Chris and himself hanging out is just really cute

- Also Eddie isn’t worried about his son at all!

- And we do have that tweet from Oliver Stark about jumping into the receding water at the end of 3.02 being basically suicide but Buck still doing it because the director told him, he’d do it for his own kids.

3.03 „Do it for the trauma - Buck-edition“

- I talked about it before with Trust but basically Eddie, who has parents who are still alive and physically able and love his son very much, even if they have different ideas of how to raise his son, and a sister with at least one child not that much older than Chris and a grandma and an aunt and probably some more family in LA AND Carla who he literally pays to take care of his son, literally tells his best friend he is the one he trusts the most with said son. That is fucking meaningful!

3.05: „What if we fight like a married couple in a grocery store downtown LA, bro?“

- „You know how much Chris misses you?“: The fact that Eddie brings Chris up at all and to hurt Buck specifically is - in part about Eddie deflecting from himself but also about Christopher actually missing Buck, which says a lot about the relationship Chris and Buck have and how much time they spent together if that is something Eddie would bring up here.

3.09: „#tw: mild adult themes & implied sexual content / #pwp - porn without porn“

- „I’d rather be at home with my kid, enjoying the one good thing I got going on.“: Eddie says these words during therapy and where do him and his son spent the following evening or at least an evening that same week? With Buck at his loft. Because even though Buck wasn’t mentioned here as part of the family time Eddie would much rather have, apparently he is part of it.

3.10: „Parenttrapping for Beginners“

- „Well, I thought it would be nice to bring the boys together for a playdate.“ - „All three of `em.“: this speaks for itself, Buck being invited in the first place was … an interesting choice? A dig at Buck’s mental age? Exposition? What exactly, Tim? Like what was the vibe in the writers room here?

- „Hey, Buck? (…) Can I spent Christmas with you?”: The fact that Chris would rather spent Christmas with Buck than with his grandma and the rest of their family is interesting as well and again points toward Buck being an integral part of the Diaz family.

- The way Eddie looks at Buck here and the little head shake implied to me that Buck and Eddie had the same conversation Eddie and Hen have right then already.

3.11: „Bist du single? Nein, eher Album!“

- “Well, that’s what the 118 is. The family we chose.“: Again maybe more subtext than text but when Eddie talks about the 118 being his family the camera pans to *drumroll* Chris, his actual blood family, Albert, Chim’s actual blood family - and Buck, who is basically Chim’s little brother and Eddie’s, well, best friend? Coparent? Partner in work and life? SOULMATE?

Yes, it’s a little subtext, but it’s interesting that this scene shows only one character neither of them are related to and it’s Buck, emphasising once more that these two and especially Eddie (because he’s the one talking here) think of Buck as their family.

3.12: „There’s a horse loose in a hos… school“

- “(…) we should try it together”: Again with the emphatic inclusion of Buck in family scenes! (But this time Carla gets to be there as well - though only to record them?)

This episode introduces Ana Flores as a potential love interest for Eddie and then spends the whole episode contrasting and paralleling her with Buck, as one does …

In this episode as well Eddie gets advice about Chris from several people and it’s interesting that the one person whose advice he follows without disagreeing or trying something else first is once again Buck. 

The episode also maybe implies that Buck was the one to built or buy or find out about the skateboard.

But really what matters here is Eddie reaffirming that there is no one he trusts more with his son (because he refused to take Carla’s advice right away but he did listen and think about what Buck had to say right away - despite his joking) and Buck being included in the family scene.

3.15: „MY therapist also says ‚Thank you!‘“

- „I’m always gonna fight to come home to my family.“: I’m not gonna comment on the lack of Shannon in the montage because I do believe part of it was that they didn’t really have scenes that fit and would have had to film them specifically which would then have to fit into the timeline / storyline before and also mostly it was about Shannon already being dead meaning she is no longer part of the family Eddie can come home to, so it makes a hell of a lot of sense for her not to be included, guys!

That being said I do believe Buck being in it quite a lot means something about how much of a part in Eddie’s family he is! Which is a big part and something I love about them a lot!

- Also Buck was so very happy Chris came to visit and then immediately walked over, which doesn’t really have any relevance except I thought it was cute and this is my guide.

3.16: „The rope was a metaphor after all“

- Obviously it was meant jokingly, but Eddie would have loved if Buck came and not just because being alone with a bunch of 9 year olds is no one’s idea of a fun evening and Eddie could probably use the help (still hoping Carla was there with him and still surprised Eddie was in such a good mood during the pool scene after), but because he likes to spend time with Buck and he did wanna celebrate with him - but he was also very aware that spending the evening with 9 year olds was not what Buck envisioned so he said it jokingly.

3.18: „Traincrash? More like train WRECK? *cries*“

- “Whoa! Whoa! Two weeks from home? Isn’t Chris kinda young for that?“: I don’t think I need to say more about that scene really, I think everyone who saw it understood that it confirmed the 118 but especially Buck being fairly involved in Christopher’s life and how that confirms: Buck = part of the Diaz family.

- Also all the interactions between Buck and Chris at the party both with and without Eddie around I mean, yeah, again, meaningful!

- In conclusion: Eddie, Chris and Buck are family and dems the facts!

Connection and love life

Now, this is where we are slowly going subtext and also really interpretation heavy!

The title might be a bit missleading but I didn’t really know how else to sum all aspects up. Basically this theme is about their love live but also about the parallels between their storylines - especially when it comes to their love life!

Also this theme isn’t organised by episode but by subtopics because I summed up so many different aspects here.

Parallels in their storylines:

- 3.15 / 3.16 and the rope metaphor as a metaphor for their dating life:

Technically the rope is a metaphor for their lives and them letting go of things in general but especially about their dating life because for Eddie in my opinion this is when he really fully comes to terms with Shannon’s death while Buck finally admits to his abandonment issues, in part caused by Abby leaving.

(Side note: the fact that Eddie choose to cut his line just like he choose to actually do therapy to deal with his issues for Christopher’s sake while Buck’s burns away and he is literally forced to deal with his issues through being confronted with Red and running into Abby at the train crash is … something.)

Their dating life is being paralleled:

This really isn’t technically something that explains why you should ship them but I do think it’s interesting that from the get go their love lives have been happening in parallels / contrasts to each other? As if they were connected? Magnets?

So yeah, that and also it goes like this:

- 2.01: Eddie references Buck being single

- 2.02 / 2.03: Eddie first mentions Shannon but indicates a break-up / Buck meets Ali and seems to bond with her

- 2.04: both refuse to hook up with any of the girls at the bar and don’t want to date because they consider themselves taken (I know Eddie says it’s about Chris but Buck called bullshit here and text told us to trust Buck on what he says about Eddie)

- 2.06: Buck flirts with Taylor and Eddie acts a bit jealous

- 2.07: While Buck finally comes to term with his break up with Abby in her absence, Shannon returns and we learn that Eddie has sort of been holding out hope so far (they kiss in the end) (Also Eddie and Shannon and Buck and Taylor both happen in parking lots which probably only means they ran out of location money but still!)

- 2.08: Buck hooks up with Taylor, then meets with Ali and begins dating her

- 2.10: it’s revealed that Eddie has been sleeping with Shannon and Buck is miffed

- 2.11 - 2.16: we get a few mentions of Ali and some scenes between Eddie and Shannon reminding us both these relationships are happening and they are growing closer

- 2.17: Shannon thinks she is pregnant, Eddie wonders about their relationship, Shannon wants a divorce but dies before they can go through with it

- 2.18: Buck gets a new apartment because of Ali, their relationship seems ready to become more serious, then Buck gets hurt and Ali is traumatised by this and tells Buck she needs to rethink the relationship

- 3.01: it is revealed that Ali and Buck broke up

- 3a: both of them work through the trauma of the past few months, no references to either of them dating are made, romantic and / or domestic scenes happen between them instead, the ambiguous „us“ happens

- 3.11: they are asked about their relationship-status to remind us about them being single (AND THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER? Wow.)

- 3.12: It’s pointed out again that Buck is single but he says he prefers it that way while Eddie meets Ana and shows some interest in her, then during a call Buck indicates that he might not be as happy being single as he told Madney and Josh while also seeming a bit happy Eddie won’t be dating Ana (probably)

- 3.15: Eddie finally fully comes to terms with his past, including his relationship with Shannon and her dying

- 3.16: Buck reveals he might still be hung up on what happened with Abby and he realises he needs to move on, the ambiguous „Us“ is brought back

- 3.18: Buck runs into Abby and actually moves on

- Side note: considering 2.08 and 2.10 and 3.09 and some remarks made throughout the show, Buck and Eddie are somewhat aware of the relationship struggles the other had which isn’t really relevant but also sort of is

Parallels with canon couples

This is TV and TV and especially shipping lives through tropes and parallels inside the story to subtext tell you something you need to know without actually having to say the words, but just to plant the idea in the viewers head.

For example, and please I am just spitballing here, you are writing a show about Lifeguards. And there are these two characters who are named … Paddie and Tucker. They have amazing chemistry and they are best friends and love each other a lot. Now, you, as the showrunner, are considering making them a romantic item but you need to do it slow cause while you do have queer characters and a queer following this show is fairly mainstream and also the characters have presented as straight in text so far. So you need to do crumbs, right?

Okay, so how do you best do that? Well, Tucker is known as this really caring guy and very open with his feelings and he freaks out when someone he loves is in danger - so you put Paddie in danger, right? Proofs he loves him, right?

But then you want it to have some deeper queer implications, right, in case you do decide on making them romantic? So how do you best do that? Well, lucky for you, Tucker has a sister. And you were planning on putting her in danger as well this season anyways, so you just have Tucker react a bit more subdued here, right?

But then you really want it to hit people, like you need people who are more casual and mainstream and might not have noticed the romantic undertones Tuddie has had to notice that, right? So you put these two episodes back to back.

Except „Paddie Begins“ is set to air first and well, Tucker IS known to lose his shit about people he cares about being in danger, so they might not actually notice anything more. Or they will just consider Tucker not reacting as hard about his sister, Sadie, being in danger bad writing. And you can’t have that!

So how do you fix that? Well, you just change the episode order! Now the episode with Sadie in danger airs first and people will spent a week complaining about how out of character Tucker was and it will be still on their minds when „Paddie Begins“ happens and Tucker goes feral and it will hit EVERYONE! Like damn, apparently Tucker cares more about Paddie than Sadie? Why? What makes Paddie so much more important?

Anyways, this is how you test out an idea in TV and why tropes and parallels are important…

Moving on:

- 2.14: „‚It’s a miracle… bro #nohomo’“: Now I have already written a bit about Buck’s reaction to Eddie potentially dying to safe the kid and while it is fairly tame for Buck it’s still something you usually see a guy do for a love interest (Any of ya’ll watch „Chicago Fire“? Because I watched like the first two Seasons and the main „Will they / won’t they“ - couple had a scene like that about once every three episodes. Cause it’s a trope!)

- 3.02 „Eddie hates earthquakes - the remix“: This is a teeny tiny bit of a stretch and there wasn’t even any nice cuts to anyone in the firefam to indicate they were referenced (which I found odd, considering this would have also fit for Bobby) but the guy who got impaled with his son in law said: „She‘s the love of my life but he‘s her‘s.“ which considering this episode has Buck doing everything to protect Christopher means a lot and I think about it once a day, okay?

- 3.14 vs 3.15 vs. 3.16 vs. 3.17 vs. 3.18 - Losing the love of your life and how to deal with that:

This may be the biggest parallel of all, and maybe I could have included 2.14 as well but I didn’t because it’s a whole season removed. It also seems meaningful that this episodes happen one after the other, making us naturally compare the scenes and see / look for patterns.

But to explain real quick:

In 3.14 Maddie is in danger and Chimney, who is her boyfriend and told her he loves her just one episode earlier, freaks out completely

In 3.15 Eddie might die / is considered dead by several of his friends already and Buck utterly looses it! We are talking frantic screaming and trying to dig Eddie out by hand and running around trying to figure out ways to save Eddie only to turn full on catatonic when none of that works. I mean, his mood turns faster than mine when I am hangry while on my period and that is saying sth!

3.16 could be considered a bit of a stretch but we do see Red lash out a lot when he realises that Cindy, the woman he considered the love of his life and someone he pined after for quite a while doesn’t exist like that anymore.

In 3.17 Athena is put in great danger and Bobby is forced / able to listen to it and while I am not sure if the blank look on Bobby’s face is bad acting, a deliberate but accidental acting choice OR done consciously in a way that mirrors Oliver’s acting in 3.15 - it’s there and it’s a parallel and we can watch it and compare it and see it.

To bring this whole thing home for us they contracted another outside player in the form of Connie Britton playing Buck’s ex-girlfriend Abby, who similarly to Red and Buck, turns frantic upon possibly loosing her fiancé and starts panic and lash out a little, which is fair and also part of a motherforking pattern, ya’ll!

- Another fairly obvious parallel between 3.14 and 3.15 is Buck telling Sue - as the watch Maddie and Chimney hug - that Maddie already has everything she needs when Sue asks him why he didn’t immediately rush toward his sister. Which can be compared to 3.15 were he does immediately rush to Eddie’s side and support and hug him!

-  I’ve already written about 700 words on 3.17 and the line „Buck invites Eddie“ so I’ll just point you back toward that part of the guide where I pointed out that Buddie was actively compared to the three main canon pairings here. Which is a lot and also could have been avoided and probably queerbaiting.

- Again, teeny tiny bit of a stretch maybe but like, we’re here to talk about anything in canon pointing toward Buddie and also this is my guide and I do what I want but in 3.18 we learn that Abby is now engaged to a single father and considering she was only gone for about two years (Season 2 takes place over the course of one year and in 3.13 we learn that Madney has been dating for just under 11 months so unless there was a time jump somewhere in the last 5 episodes we weren’t really told about, we clock in at about 2 years and maybe one or two months, tops, at the end of Season 3), they have been together for less than that time, even if we think Abby already knew him when she was still dating Buck. Which timeline wise puts them meeting maybe around the time Buck met Eddie, maybe a bit after, meaning Abby met and began dating and fell in love with and decided to marry a single father in the same timespan Buddie did … whatever it is they are doing! Which is meaningful because for the viewing of the Abby/Buck relationship which I am glad more and more people are realising was very unbalanced and provides an interesting parallel to Buddie because this means Abby and Buck met and developed feelings for a single father around the same time. Idk, I understand that the whole father thing was to make Buck care even more but damn, it’s a parallel so I mention it!

- Michael and Doctor Hale vs Eddie and Ana (3.17/3.18 vs. 3.12ff.)

Now, of course we need to realise that Eddie and Michael are fairly different characters and Michael has way less relationship related baggage than Eddie has which is why he goes after what he wants way faster (also, carpe diem, he just found out he won’t die). Also of course, there is no moral component to address in Michael dating some doctor vs. Eddie dating his son’s teacher, but still:

Michael and Dr. Hale had one scene together and it wasn’t even overly flirty and yet, we knew where it was heading, we felt the chemistry and everyone ended the episode saying: I ship it, more of that - which they did give us, just one episode later. They had some awkward moments, yet the show never left a single doubt in your mind where this is heading.

Now look at Eddie and Ana:

First of all we learned more about Doctor Hale in the two short scenes than we did about Ana in four scenes. That seems deliberate.

Second, while we do realise Eddie thinks Ana is attractive from the get go she repeatedly shuts him down by pointedly saying „Mr. Diaz“.

Third, every scene between Michael and Doctor Hale was romantically coded and we know where this was heading while aside from the initial scene between Ana and Eddie and maybe the second scene there were no hints of romance between the two. In fact in 3.15, an episode that is about Eddie moving forward in his life and letting go of the past she is both mentioned and actually appears, yet there are no hints of romance and romantic interest, not from Eddie and not in form of teasing from Buck and especially Carla, who pointed out Eddie’s interest in her previously. Soooooo…

Parallels with Love Interests

Now, obviously we also cannot talk Buddie without talking about them dating in general and then relating this to each other. In other news: there are parallels between each and every love interest Eddie ever had and Buck and also between Eddie and Abby.

(Side note: I could probably also find parallels between Eddie and Taylor and Eddie and Ali but tbh both of these barely qualify as love interests, especially Ali, who despite actually being in a relationship with Buck we know nothing about (hi, original Ana! You did good and I am sorry people hate you for having boundaries!))

Eddie paralleling Abby

I mean the truth is we don’t even need Eddie paralleling any other girlfriend of Buck cause there are so many between Abby and Eddie!

- Abby and Carla vs. Eddie and Carla:

The biggest one might be parallel that both employ Carla and why. Which is in part because Buck brought Carla to Eddie but goes deeper than that.

There is that conversation between Bobby and Buck about Abby and her mother in 1.09 when Buck wanted to break up with Abby and Bobby basically said: if you wanna date someone you have to love them baggage and all and should be there for them as well - and while Buck did try doing that with Abby, well, Patricia died before he could fully step into the ring and then Abby left, BUT he showed no hesitation after that to step right into Eddie’s life, into his issues, with him. And he even brought in Carla as a baggage carrier, isn’t that nice?

Also the whole reason why they need Carla around in the first place as both of them are taking care of a family member (plus the fact that Christopher is a literal child so even without CP Eddie would need help taking care of him working the hours he has).

Also tía Pepa quite literally calls Eddie a saint and I am pretty sure Abby was called sth similar by Carla and Bobby in Season 1 though I don’t care enough to check mainly because the implication was there all through the first ten episodes about how Abby was such a great person for taking care of her ailing mother.

But really it comes down to the parallels between Bobby telling Buck that a real relationship is about sharing the load and the conversation between Maddie and Buck as well as anything else in 2.04 where Buck is so desperate to be there for Eddie and help him.

- There is also a definite parallel to be drawn between the conversation Abby and Buck had in the Jeep while looking for her mom about how Abby hasn’t had sex in a year and Buck asking Eddie about dating in 2.04. It’s a little subtextual, but between the expression on his face and the topic and the teasing and the walking shoulder to shoulder it does feel alike to me so I mentioned it.

- street fighting vs. the apology: losing yourself

Now this one I love a lot because while it does happen half a season apart and isn’t explicitly expressed on the show: Eddie’s whole ark in Season 3a is about losing control and by extent losing himself because Buck wasn’t around. Abby meanwhile talks about how she found herself after she left LA and how she would have lost herself again if she returned to Buck (which is absolute bullcrap but not the point).

- There are also some parallels to be drawn between Buck, Eddie, Abby and Shannon (and technically also Maddie) and the whole leaving each other thing, with Eddie leaving Shannon for the army without consulting her about it while Abby left Buck for Ireland and then also the lawsuit where in a way Buck left Eddie like Shannon did, being so caught up in his own feelings he didn’t consider what Eddie (and Christopher) were going through.

But we can also acknowledge how it must have felt to Buck with Lena / Eddie taking Bobby’s side like he was once again replaced / left for someone else, much like Abby left him for Ireland and Maddie left him for Doug.

Buck paralleling Ana, Lena and Shannon

Buck on the other hand side parallels Eddie’s love interest a lot sometimes down to the clothes (and yes, technically Lena isn’t a love interest but Ryan Guzman thought she was and aside from the fact that he’s into women that could beat him up (which for once, not judging you, bro) and considering the parallels with Buck … that means if Buck was a woman, well, ya know?) so let’s talk about that

- Buck and Shannon:

I’ve already talked about that one a lot so I will only mention it here real quick but the whole Eddie not trusting Shannon vs. trusting Buck despite his betrayal again like right away once he apologised (which yes, what Buck did was not as bad and far more justified) and letting him back into Christopher’s life IS a parallel, considering for example how Shannon asks about Chris missing her (though it’s been over two years, at one point children just stop asking as we know Chris did) and Eddie telling Buck Chris misses him in the grocery store scene.

Also Eddie not trusting his wife and Chris’ mother with him fully even after they reconciled and him telling Buck he was the one he trusted most in the world when it came to his son is … something.

There is also a little parallel to be drawn between 2.17 when Shannon goes for ice cream with Christopher and Abuela and Eddie is all like, well, don’t come crying to me when he won’t sleep because sugar high and saying basically the same thing to Hen and Chimney in 3.02 when they ask about „Operation: Buck up Buck“ because Chris ate loads of pancakes.

Also Shannon in 2.07 said she needed Eddie to have her back and Eddie says he always did but Shannon disagrees (which might be a little how Buck felt with the lawsuit) and you know, Buck and him agreed to have each other’s backs just six episodes earlier.

- Buck and Lena:

 Now, with Lena, despite her being most connected to Eddie, the first (and second) time we actually see her is in 3.01/3.02 through Buck, which connects the two from the get go.

Eddie then finds out she was at the pier in 3.02 (before meeting her) just like Buck (though he doesn’t know that) and then meets her in 3.03 and she spends the whole episode running around LA trying to find her Captain while injured, much like Buck is doing in the same episode.

I also mentioned in my meta-series how I think one of the reasons why Eddie likes Buck so much was that Buck wasn’t impressed by his military background like everyone else (or his looks, I mean, it was probably more about his looks tbh) and how when Buck started liking him it was really about Eddie and not whatever he had heard about him - yet Buck was / is still never afraid to call him out bullshit, much like Lena from moment one.

There is also the fact that Eddie goes to her for advice and she literally uses Buck’s locker (and will I ever stop laughing about the tape? Probably not, I think it was hilarious, okay?)?

Then of course we have Buck in 3.04 reacting quite similar to seeing her for the first time as he did with Eddie in 2.01, even saying basically the same thing.

- Buck and Ana

Now, Ana is an interesting case because we see her a total of four times and she is mentioned two more times throughout the show and each and every single moment is connected to Buck somehow and sometimes so very unsubtle to.

In „Fools“ we cut from Buck saying he likes being single to Eddie doing parent-teacher conference and yes, meeting some other teachers first but also Ana, showing us that while Buck is fine with being single - Eddie might not be. And then Eddie introduces himself as Eddie and Ana knows immediately this is short for Edmundo - unlike Buck in 2.01 who guessed Eduardo? Also, Carla’s „big blue eyes“ line which is a little clown-y, so take it with a grain of salt that it could connect us to Buck.

Then of course her next scene is Eddie getting in her face about Christopher being hurt. Later in the episode we see Buck reference this on a call, meaning either Carla or Eddie told Buck about it (I am leaning a little toward Carla making fun of Eddie in front of Buck and Eddie then having to come clean about all of it, because I cannot wrap my head about the idea of Eddie telling Buck about having a crush, I’m sorry.) (And will I ever be over Buck being so gleeful that Eddie will now be dating the teacher after all? Because boy was close to cackling which even if he was in love with Eddie at the time and therefore happy he wasn’t off the market - still quite rude for a best friend if you ask me! Like, sure, do that but in front of strangers?)

Her next scene is Eddie coming to apologise to her and she gives her speech about limitations - which we can of course connect to Buck and Eddie talking about Christopher and his limitations before that and then afterwards going skateboarding with them. (It does feel a little deliberate.)

And then of course we have „Eddie Begins“ and you guys, they could have very very easily have either Carla or Buck make a joke about Mrs. Flores and Eddie’s crush in the firehouse scene, but they didn’t! And then we do get to see her at the end where she has one whole line and Eddie barely looks at her and you know what happens? They have a child ask the same question Buck asked at the beginning about ever just wearing the medal (which sounded very not straight in its delivery, Mr Stark, what were you thinking about?), making us think of Buck. Like, it would have been enough to establish Eddie doesn’t feel like a hero if the question was asked only once - twice in the span of 45 minutes constitutes a callback, meaning we are supposed to think of the other scene and that means thinking about the other person that asked, which was Buck.

Is this … flirting

Now, some of these are quite ambiguous but there are several scenes that imply they consider each other attractive or feel like flirting and here they are:

- 2.01: „I think I’ve seen this in porn before“

Now, we all know Buck’s initial dislike of Eddie was about Eddie being to good at the job and Buck being afraid of being replaced, but considering one of the first things we hear about Eddie is Hen saying that boy is so fine it transcends sexualities and considering they talked about the calendar which chooses them based on hotness just before and then all the references to the calendar throughout, it stands to reason that Buck considers Eddie attractive.

Also their whole conversation during the gym scene, what was any of that? I mean, Buck thinks the pictures of Eddie are professionally done which means he thinks they are good which means, yes, Buck thinks Eddie looks good in those!

Plus the whole scene is riddled with (sexual) tension. From Buck constantly increasing the weight he is lifting, while throwing looks at Eddie as if double checking that he sees he could bench press him and the way he gets in Eddie’s face to Eddie’s veiled barbs about the girlfriend breaking up with him and doing the same thing as a firefighter but he was getting shot at. I mean, what was that if not the beginning of a porno? (And here we have our first parallel between Buck and Eddie as we find out later because Eddie, too, has been left by a woman. Now the real question would be does he consider them broken up?

Not to mention that when Bobby tells him at the end of the episode that he wasn’t chosen Buck immediately assumes Eddie was and also is so very happy for his new friend, because he thinks he’s hot (right?).

- 2.04: „Hearteyes, motherforker“

In 2.08 Buck has a conversation with Chimney about his pick up technique and well, did anyone in production watch this episode because when Buddie walks away from tailpipe-girl-emergency he literally does everything he described.

Also Maddie says the words „Does this man crush on Eddie mean you are finally over Abby?“ to Buck and his only reaction is „Cute.“ meaning one) Maddie has teased him about his Eddie gushing before and two) maybe Buck does have a bit of a crush?

- 2.06: „Bucky Barnes murder strut - 911 edition“

Again with the Maddie and Buck scenes!

Basically what happened was Maddie talked about how cute Chimney was but Buck assumed she meant Eddie because apparently if someone says cute, Buck thinks Eddie. This is just a fact, okay?

- 2.14: „‚It’s a miracle… bro #nohomo’“

Like my name for the episode already says, there is this scene were Buck and Eddie stand next to each other and Eddie says „That was incredible!“ and Buck who is already standing in Eddie’s space leans in further to basically whisper the words „It’s a miracle.“ into Eddie’s ears and then lean back a little and I am not sure if that wouldn’t fit better with Subtext but also Buck looks at Eddie like he wants to eat him alive and Eddie looks like he would let him and say thank you after while still embarrassed because he cries during sex.

You know, acting.

- 3.04 „discount!Buck in the house!“

Listen, I am convinced this is all Ryan considering the reaction of Kenny / Chimney and Aisha / Hen but that doesn’t change the fact that they used a take which had Eddie stare at Oliver / Buck’s butt the whole time and I mean, what horrible things happened in the other takes that made production choose this one unless they want us to see Eddie looking at Buck’s butt while Chimney and Hen stand around looking amused?

- 3.09: „#tw: mild adult themes & implied sexual content / #pwp - porn without porn“

Listen, from the moment Buck says „Cause you would prefer working it out in the ring?“ and then does this dorky thing with his arms while Eddie smirks into his beer about how he fought in a cage not fenced in (which, I’m a little unclear on the distinction I think, but I am nitpicky af so who am I to judge? Probably just stuff getting lost in translation) that whole scene changes vibes, going from apologising to teasing. And I think it’s very interesting that this is when Buck chooses to come closer (and then keep coming closer until he is right in Eddie’s personal space while touching his belt which we all learned by now means he is thinking about sex) and they have this whole conversation about who could take who which happens in sort of half sentences and does not feel like they are talking about fighting each other at all.

I mean, Buck keep coming closer, while Eddie stands there rooted to his spot, leaning against the bar, smirking, like every hot guy in a bar ever who knows one smile and a bit of smolder and they will come to him (which Buck does, playing right into it, I mean, come on, bro, weren’t you once a serial dater? How do you not know how to play hard to get?) and holding the beer (you know, phallic shaped obj- okay, I’ll stop here, it’s a reach), occasionally drinking, like maybe he tries to draw attention to somewhere or he has a very dry throat and honestly: this is how porn starts!

I don’t think my writing (or anyone’s writing really, not that ya’ll aren’t talented af) can properly express how very not platonic and innuendo-heavy this scene felt.

- 3.13: „‚Bro, what if I flirted with you in a bowling alley while out on a call?‘ - ‚Bro, what if I invited you out to lunch after telling a friend to say I love you before it’s too late?‘ - ‚BRO 😍‘“

Again, the title gives everything away but like so many scenes between these boys that moment at the bowling alley when Buck channels Arnie and Eddie is all: you’re a dork and also wrong! and then later when Eddie invites Buck to get lunch (which is sort of Eddie’s thing, remember 2.01?) after earlier telling Chimney to tell Maddie he loves her if he has a chance because he might regret it. And to really drive the point home or maybe make it in the first place, after Eddie asks Buck - and only Buck - to have lunch with him, Buck then declines because of a little blood (Evan, come one, you’ve seen worse! I know I have!) - only for Chimney to consider this the push he needed to invite Maddie for dinner so he can tell her he loves her.

So, you know, platonic.

- 3.16: „The rope was a metaphor after all“

I mean, what was that scene in the locker even with Eddie leaning against the doorway all cheeky and grinning like: yeah, come hang out with me! - obviously it was about Buck never saying yes to babysit a group of nine-year olds when he could be out drinking (as someone who works with kids, I approve), but yeah, that’s not what it felt like? So unless ya’ll cannot act anymore this was deliberately a bit over the top and ambiguous.

Jealousy

Now, no good ship works without jealousy and neither does Buddie so here are some examples of Buddie being jealous.

- 2.06: „Bucky Barnes murder strut - 911 edition“

Now, your probably saying: Bucky Barnes murder strut? That’s a tall order! But damn, Ryan nailed that, okay? Listen, we’ve seen Eddie walk out of uniform several times at this point and NEVER before and never after has he struted this predatory. Eddie walks tall and military, you know, the way he stands, Eddie doesn’t strut!

Yet, here he does! And what I love about this scene is that we see him in the background while Bobby talks to Taylor, working out with no care in the world - and then Buck comes over and flirts with her, suddenly Eddie feels the need to be part of the conversation?

And he doesn’t even wait until he is standing next to them to talk, he calls over while still sitting on the lifting things.

So yeah, that one is him being jealous.

- 2.10: „It’s all about ‚not my business‘“

- Now 2.10 is a great episode for Buddie and in part it is due to Buck’s facial expressions in the background and out of focus of the camera when Shannon comes to the station.

I mean, Oliver always plays Buck very intense and expressive and with his whole face but that was a bit much, you’d think he just found out Eddie broke a vow of chastity or had an affair while being married (which technically is what Buck compares it to later so kinda makes sense he looks like that but also doesn’t, Buckeroo, what’s the big deal? Did Eddie show up at your doorstep a week earlier telling you what a punk ass bitch his wife was, or…?)

- 2.17: „*fridges female character for man pain* Haha, we’re so random!“

„Talk to Bobby. Maybe he can get you guys a discount.“: There is a point to be made about Buck just not liking Shannon considering everything he knows about her and has heard about her, the same way Eddie doesn’t Abby, but still. This scene and this line, Buck does not sound happy for Eddie or truly interested and yeah, it’s off and it seems jealous.

- 3.04 „discount!Buck in the house!“

It’s actually not just my interpretation, it’s actually - between the similarities to 2.01 and everything that happens after with the lawsuit and how Buck explains himself - literal text that Buck was jealous here with Lena. So there!

- 3.09: „#tw: mild adult themes & implied sexual content / #pwp - porn without porn“

Tim Minear please send me over some scripts or have someone call me and explain what they were going for with the „You had sex with your therapist?“-scene because Eddie was so huffy and offended and I need to know!

- 3.12: „There’s a horse loose in a hos… school“

Buck sounds awfully gleeful Eddie will probably not date Christopher’s teacher and while that might just be him making fun of his best friend being so very overprotective and short tempered when it comes to his son (Mr. Control has left the building!), still, it reads a little like jealousy over some unknown pretty woman Chris might have mentioned some time and Carla probably described in great detail when she told Buck all about Eddie losing his cool!

- 3.17: „LegsTM“

It’s technically not really a jealous moment because it’s not Eddie being jealous but Buck simply refusing to mention his ex-girlfriend here, but considering 3.18 and also and most importantly the fact that there are only two other people in the truck, one being an unknown firefighter driving the truck and the other Bobby, who very much knows how Buck was supposed to take a hot air balloon ride with Abby, for who but Eddie was Buck concealing her identity for because Bobby already knows?

There really is only Eddie left, who probably figures out what Buck was about as well because bro may not be Buck and his out of the box thinking smart but he is fucking smart and he can figure shit out as well! Yet Buck refuses to mention Abby’s name and for what? So he can pretend Bobby and Eddie don’t know he is still bitter about her? I mean, fucking hell, send over the motherforking scripts, Minear, I am done with you!

- 3.18: „Traincrash? More like train WRECK? *cries*“

While I think Eddie is being more protective than jealous here, he is awfully involved and he is uncharacteristically out of control and emotional here and I wanna know why? Does Abby being back remind you of Shannon? Is it jealousy? WHAT IS GOING ON??? WHY YOU SO MAD, ARMY BOY???

Subtext

Now, I am first gonna talk about Subtext things in general like clothing choices, music and cuts between scenes and I am gonna be honest, I probably missed quite a few!

- One of my favourite is that while Buck wears the same colours in 3.03 as Shannon does in 2.07, Eddie wears the same exact shirt - and considering the fact that Ryan got buff between Season 2 and 3 that was deliberate, someone bought that shirt again because we are supposed to connect these scenes with each other!

- As I wrote before in 2.10 we can see Buck and his reaction out of focus when Shannon comes to the firehouse to talk to Eddie and ya know, why?

- Tim Minear himself said the elf in 2.10 was an easter egg for us Buddie shippers and he also said we can make out of the fountain in the background what we want, so there, Buddie is talking about Shannon and Eddie having sex and how much that messes shit up while a fountain shoots water in the background and yes, that is an innuendo and subtext and I hate it a little.

- 2.13 has this hospital scene I love a lot and you know what? Buddie is basically dressed the same, because the subtext of this scene is these two are alike and connected and they GET EACH OTHER.

- Another scene I really love is in 3.01 when Buck comes in for the surprise party because not only does he not hug his sister or Athene but runs up to Eddie first, Bobby actually shoves Eddie at Buck so he is the first person Buck hugs (and then the hug itself, what was that? The way they hold onto each other for a moment just looking while their hips are still touching?! Is that how you two hug because I want in!).

- Also they are dressed basically the same, should we discuss this as well?

- And still in 3.01 when Buck thanks Bobby and they talk and Bobby tells Buck he’ll find someone better and then asks him if he is doing okay, the first person the show cuts to is - nope, not Evan Buckley’s sister who is also there but his best friend, Eddie! Jup!

- And still in 3.01 when the firefam talks about helping Buck in the firehouse, Eddie first acts dismissive but the scene ends with Bobby saying Buck has them even though he may not believe that right now and half of that is said while the camera is on Eddie’s face who looks thoughtful - only to cut from them to Maddie and Josh discussing the same thing and mainly how Maddie doesn’t know how to help Buck and what he needs from her. Which you know, the episode ends with Eddie basically giving Buck a swift kick in the butt like she though he might need (and then 3.03 has Eddie basically telling Buck everything is gonna be okay, so we see Maddie talking about helping Buck but never see her doing it and instead we get two scenes of Eddie being there for Buck and also no Maddie in relation to the lawsuit but an extreme focus on Eddie? Writers, I see you and you aren’t wrong!)

- Also worth another mention is the cut between Madney talking about children, saying Buck didn’t have any either - to Eddie waking up Buck so he can babysit Christopher and specifically calling Buck „his Buck“ to make us think on their relationship and let us know how close they are and also to tell us to not trusts everything Maddie says about her brother because she gets shit wrong.

- In 3.03 after Buck tells Eddie he lost Christopher and then Eddie sees Christopher and rushes over and and Buck collapses and while Eddie holds Chris after he checked for injuries and Chim and Hen and Bobby hold Buck and Bobby asks Buck if he is okay, well, this whole time Buck is staring at Chris and Eddie and Eddie is staring back at him and Bobby, if you wanna know about me, gotta tell you, I am not okay?!

- And then we have the loft scene and yeah, okay, this deserves 5000 words of his own, from the fact that they played „Photograph“ by Ed Sheeran which includes lyrics about how they will never be alone and how loving can heal and mend your soul and the fucking song ends on the words „Wait for me to come home“ just as Eddie knocks and brings Christopher over and tells Buck there is no one he trusts more with Christopher than Buck and I am sorry, what are we supposed to think here? This show is from the US, these people speak english, it’s not like these lyrics leave much room for interpretation!

Not to mention the whole monologue Buck did about being lost and not knowing how to get from where you want to be to where you need to be before Eddie showed up and then talking about how a few choice words can sometimes be the life raft one needs to get home and how we are all just searching for someone to see us? I love Maddie and I love the Buckley siblings, but damn, she’s not the one he has been searching for!

(And I keep bringing up Maddie here because as his sister she is the person Buck could feel closest to and should care about the most and be cared about the most by and yet all canon evidence points to Eddie being that person! Also she is the person next to Eddie Buck has the most scenes outside the firehouse with.)

- This one is a bit of a stretch but Buck looks very uncomfortable during the whole deposition in 3.05 but he looks everyone in the eyes until the lawyer mentions Shannon and suddenly his lap is so much more interesting and yes, after is when all of them get asked the really hurtful question but still, this is when Buck stops being despondent and realises, fuck, I went a bit to far

- Someone please find for me where the director talked about purposely framing them as romantic in the apology scene because I cannot find the post for the life of me, but never the less: In 3.06 during the apology, in the beginning of the scene we see Buddie from quite a distance and Eddie has his back turned toward Buck and there is a column in the shot to visually indicate the divide and yeah, the whole framing is quite something and the way the camera angle goes from far away making it seem like unbridgeable distance cutting to closer shots and how we slowly see alongside the words hey, they aren’t actually that far apart, like yeah, this scene was something else!

- Not a direct cut but during therapy Eddie talks about how he wants to be at home with Chris because he is the one good thing he has going for him and the one thing he gets enjoyment out of (because he is so fucking depressed and I cry), yet when we later see Chris and Eddie together it is neither in Eddie’s house nor are they alone, nope Buck is there as well, meaning Buck is considered a part of that one thing even if he wasn’t explicitly mentioned!

- During 3.10 when they take the photo with all of them Buck is grouped between Madney and the Diaz family, like right between and not just next to them. Also earlier when the eat Buck sits next to Christopher who sits next to Eddie and therefore on the opposite side of his sister and her boyfriend.

- Yes, they were probably amused by the meddling mom asking then „Are you boys single?“ in 3.11 but come on! They look at each other and smirk? For real? Hand over the script, Timbo!

- Also as mentioned before the fact that when Chim and Eddie talk about family and the 118 being the family they choose the camera is on Albert, Buck and Christopher, no one else is in the shot. And of course the song that is playing here, another song about home.

- The callback to Buck in 3.12 of Ana immediately guessing Eddie is short for Edmundo unlike Buck as well as Carla saying blue eyes (which Buck has) is also Subtext.

- Said it before but: the scene in 3.13 when they arrive at the hospital and Eddie asks Buck out to eat and then Buck changes his mind but Chimney runs off to call his girlfriend because he wants to have dinner so he can tell her he loves her like Eddie told him to do at the beginning of the episode is … interesting.

- I already explained why I think Shannon wasn’t in that many scenes in the video in 3.15 yet Buck was in most of them but it bears repeating. Also again it’s subtext that Buck is part of Eddie’s family and Buck is very important to Eddie and Eddie loves Buck.

- Also the question about the medal in 3.15 and the little boy at the end repeating the question, sorry, were we not supposed to think of Buck here, Tim???

- Also just in general 3.15 focuses very very heavily on Buck and Buck’s reaction - much like 3.18 later does with Eddie. All the non-Eddie scenes feature Buck and Buck freaking out about Eddie potentially dying and Buck making plans and being frantic and the driving force of hope cause homeboy cannot even for a second entertain any thoughts on Eddie’s passing.

- The rope metaphor in 3.15 / 3.16 is of course also subtext but I already explained that one and don’t have anything to add really.

- This one is a little bit of a stretch but I do think there is a reason Eddie was the first one to be taken out of the equation in 3.16 and because of his son and not a love interest.

- Also the pool playing scene in 3.16 there visually we see Eddie and Buck together in nearly all shots, there are two shots of Eddie without Buck in it but not a single one of Buck without Eddie in it and considering camera angles and actors literally being told were to stand it is deliberate that Buck is only seen with Eddie by his side here.

- I’m repeating a lot of things here but Buck refuses to say Abby’s name in 3.17 even though Bobby clearly knows who he is talking about.

- „No. He stopped waiting for me a long time ago.“ cuts to „Summer Camp?“ I mean sorry, what were we supposed to think here? Because this does imply he really did stop waiting because now he has Christopher and Eddie!

- Not to mention it sort of hammers home what I wrote before how Abby is dating a single father and Buck is sort of dating a single father.

- Also 3.18 puts a lot of focus in general on Eddie and his reaction to everything when say, Bobby, who actually knows Abby and was there for the relationship would have made more sense - unless they are pushing an agenda here!

The first person we have Abby interacting with at the traincrash is Eddie and then Buck joins them and the scene literally goes: Eddie *talking to Abby* > cut to Buck, coming closer > Buck: „Abby?“ > cut to both Abby and *Eddie* > Abby: „Buck?“ while the camera is still on her and Eddie > cut to just Eddie’s face having a realisation > cut to Buck

So sorry, why do we focus so much on Eddie here, Mrs. Lynch? Is there a particular reason, oh director, who art also directed 3.01 and which has also loads of Buddie subtext?

There is also Eddie coming to stand visually between Abby and Buck when Sam is loaded into the ambulance as if he is physically putting himself between them and then Buck running back toward the traincrash and Eddie following him after and all the shots of them and Christopher during the party together and once again having Bobby asking Buck if he is okay visually connected to Eddie, though in reverse this time because the scene goes from Eddie and Chris having fun to Buck and Bobby talking. (And should we talk about how this is the first time Buck actually answers the question because finally he has an answer or are we thinking about that right before sleep today when it’s easier to cry?)

- Also very interesting subtext is the fact that Buck and Eddie wear nearly the exact same colour and a similar cut pullover when Buck talks to Abby at the end and when Eddie says goodbye to Christopher and I mean, thematically both scenes are about saying good bye and letting someone go? But also it connects Buddie with each other and connects these scenes, which Idc, I probably wouldn’t have done without the clothes?

Not sold seperatly

- Also subtext / visual thing is the fact that Buddie is basically always with and next to each other at the firehouse and on calls (and before anyone says: well, they are partners, Hen and Chim aren’t as much), and that is a long list so I am just giving examples: in 2.05 they sit next to each other at the table while in 2.06 they sit next to each other on the couch and in 3.08 they sit next to each other at the table again and then we have 2.02 standing outside and 2.04 walking away from the scene together and Eddie handing Buck a weapon in 3.17 and walking toward the ambulance together in 3.13 and several other times, the point is there are a shit ton of scenes of them being right next to each other in case you thought that was a fanfic thing!

„The Buck lens“ / „The Eddie lens“

I’m pretty sure there is an actual technical term for what I am trying to describe here but basically there are several instances where we see Eddie the way Buck does, meaning while the scene shows us Eddie doing something the focus is on Buck watching this. Sort of POV but not quite I guess? Also the reverse is true as well, even if those scene aren’t as pronounced!

- Let’s talk about 2.01 once again as we have done for most of this meta and finally, finally look at Eddie’s first scene which we all know is sort of gay and the first time we see Ryan shirtless because Tim accidentally wrote a certain quota of shirtless scenes he needed to do into Ryan’s contract and he needed to get started on those right away.

Also please remember while we as well as the core four are watching Eddie get dressed „Watta man“ plays in the background, which, considering we are introduced to Eddie through Buck’s point of view might be the song playing in his head here? Anyways, back to the topic at hand and how we as the viewers don’t see Eddie until Buck turns around and sees him as well. Which is significant because several times through the conversation between Buck, Hen, Bobby and Chimney we see the locker room in the background so they could have filmed that differently.

Instead they had Chim, who stands off centre, noticing something while Buck banters with Bobby about how he will get to represent the 118 in the calendar, then the camera changes angle so we no longer stand between Bobby and Chimney but rather behind Buck, making him centre stage and putting a focus on his reaction to Eddie. In this scene we have Buck framed by two people commenting on Eddie’s attractiveness. Now we don’t get to see Eddie until we have gotten all reactions of the core four to him, with special attention to Buck, both in filming and text with everyone taking a jab at Buck before walking over to introduce themselves to Eddie which leaves Buck alone, watching.

(Now keep in mind this scene also has Hen basically say Eddie is so hot it transcends sexualities while „Whatta man“ plays as Buck slowly turns around and Idk, mate, that does seem shippy to me.)

- Another scene that focuses very heavily on Buck is when Eddie rushes and hugs Chris at the end of 2.03. In fact for most of the scene we see Buck in the car watching them.

- Also, the hospital scene in 2.04 and how once again we see Eddie interact with Chris while Eddie watches them because fuck knows why.

- Similar to the Buck lens we have 3.10 where Eddie talks to Hen about Chris while the two (or rather Eddie since he sits at the centre) watch Buck play with Chris and Danny. This is significant because Buck is also placed in the middle, putting him opposite Eddie and also making him the focus of the camera for most shots when the scene was about Christopher and Eddie feeling guilty. Huh, we say!

- Something similar happens in 3.11, which is the next episode several months removed when Eddie talks to Chimney about the 118 being their family and while this time Chris is the one sitting in the front, Buck once again is in the middle and also in focus in a scene shot from Eddie’s POV.

Other people reacting to them / commenting on them

Now, I am not sure if this is really Subtext but who knows where else it fits in? (This is a rhetorical question, only my opinion counts around here while I write!) So It goes here! And I think the title is self-explanatory enough.

- I’m a little on the fence on the Bobby looks because - no offence to Peter Krause - he doesn’t have that many facial expressions in general, but yeah, at the mechanics Buck watches Eddie and Bobby watches Buck.

- Our first real one of those scene is the truly savage tía Pepa who is a woman after my own heart because she says the mean shit to your face and the nice things behind your back because she loves you but she loves vibe checking egos more! And well, she is understandably confused by Buck’s being there at the hospital and asks Eddie who that is and why he is here and gives one of the best lines of the show by being so sarcastic, because oh, you work together? Damn, wouldn’t have guessed from the fact that both of you wear LAFD t-shirts! (I love her!)

- In the same episode Maddie comments on Buck’s boycrush on Eddie and while I am unsure whether that is supposed to make it sound less gay or it’s Maddie saying: Bro, you sound 12! but oh well! It’s a comment on them!

- I loath a little to include the elf in 2.10 because Tim has said that was an easter egg for Buddie shippers and a tongue in cheek thing but yeah.

- Also Bobby watches the whole „It’s a miracle“ exchange in 2.14 with that look.

- In 2.18 we get some text on the screen when they help instagram girl about how hot the both of them are and also how THEY should be dating which I’m putting into the same box as 2.10.

- The fact that Bobby shoves Eddie at Buck in 3.01, like sorry, why was it so relevant that this is the first hug?

- When Eddie / Ryan stared at Buck’s / Oliver’s ass in 3.04 we see Hen and Chimney grin about it.

- I know I have said myself that Maddie’s reaction in 3.08 was due to the fact that she just said: can ya’ll stop gossiping - and Chim and Buck were like: sure thing! and then started gossiping but still.

- There is Buddie flirting at the bowling alley in 3.13 and once again Bobby gives them the look and yeah.

- In 3.15 everyone seems very worried about Buck especially and they keep reassuring as if he were Eddie’s next of kin.

- Again a Bobby look I am unsure of but in 3.17 we see him giving them the look in the truck and yeah.

Other people’s heartache

Now, as I’ve said in the beginning, I didn’t wanna just include my perspective on Buddie, so I asked a few other people about this and while this isn’t a representative statistical number it’s still interesting, right?

(Also originally this Guide was organised by episode and I would have included the comments when the things came up but alas that didn’t work and I think I turned a little grey because of that)

@buckleysbabe:

When i first watched 9-1-1, I had no idea that Buddie existed (i hadn’t been on tumblr a lot at the time so I hadn’t seen gifs or anything) and when i started s2 I really thought they were just best friends, but then 2x10 and the ”you two have an adorable son” scene happened and Buck’s ”thank you” and the shy smile AND I WAS ON BOARD!! That was really the first moment, then I got the confirmation after 3x03 and the scene where Buck sees Eddie in the tsunami scenery, and then the whole Eddie saying theres nobody in this world....like in that moment I felt like they were seriously in love 😍❤️

About the 2x10: that scene has so many things. Like the water fountain in the back, Chris in the scene with them (like they are a family), then the elf saying what she said, Buck being for a second like ”huh?” and then you see the light bulb going on when he’s like ”ohhhhhhhh yeah” and then he says thank you 😍😍😍 saying HE IS CHRIS’S COPARENT. AND THEN THE SHY SMILE

@theleftboobgrabber

Right off the bat I thought they had chemistry but I think the entirety of 2×04 is when I genuinely started shipping it. Like.... the constant heart eyes, the support, Buck trying so hard to be there for Eddie and Eddie absolutely never questioning it, the look Buck gives Eddie at the fire house was absolute fire (when Bobby tells Eddie Buck asked for Chris to stay with them) like Eddie's like you did this for me??? And Buck has just this massive Big Buck Energy from where he's sitting like "get used to it" and I remember absolutely loosing my mind that Bobby got the hug and not Buck at the end of the scene like in what universe??? And yeah the rest of the episode is just the same but that feeling of 'that's the wrong man you're hugging' was the tipping point

@emotionalsupportfirefam

Okay so mine was kinda two moments?1) when Buck took Eddie to Chris' school after the earthquake and we see his reaction to Eddie's joy and relief as he holds Christopher and then spends the next episode trying to find ways to help Eddie with finding a suitable caregiver/ support for Chris and 2) the fact the took them whole of five minutes to go from 'rivals' to the 'dynamic duo' after the grenade call.

@evaneddie

Honestly? Literally every scene they have is romantically coded. The first scene of them, with Eddie being shirtless and us seeing it from Buck's perspective with „Whatta Man“ playing? That's subtext.

You can have my back any day? Yo.

The scene when the elf Blair(e) said they have an adorable son and Buck just said thank you instead of correcting her before he literally skipped away?

Eddie showing up at Buck's apartment and Buck not even questioning how he got in?

The way Buck is like a second father to Chris and protects him like one in the tsunami?

"THERE'S NOBODY IN THIS WORLD I TRUST WITH MY SON MORE THAN YOU"?! REALLY EDDIE? WHAT ABOUT LITERALLY ANY OF YOUR FAMILY? OR CARLA? Baby, that's love.

THE HALLOWEEN HUG?!

THE KITCHEN SCENE, THE WHOLE SEXUAL TENSION IN THAT SCENE?! BUCK'S HAND ON HIS BELT, THE GLANCES, "I'D STILL TAKE YOU", ON THE COUCH EDDIE LOOKS TO BUCK'S LAP, LIKE COME ON!

"You boys single?" *Looks at each other*

"This is Eddie's house, I'm not really a guest"

Buck's breakdown when he lost Eddie under 40 feet of mud. That was not the breakdown of losing a friend, that was the breakdown on losing someone you love. There's a meta I saw once literally just for this scene alone, the way Buck dug so desperately at the mud with his bare hands, the screams of heartbreak, the way he collapsed into Bobby, the pure dissociation as Bobby was giving instructions later on, Eddie's memories filled mostly with Christopher and Buck. Sure, the others were there, but, it was FILLED with Buck and Chris.

Then the ending scene of the season?! What was he trying to do with the necklaces? Thrusting his hips towards Eddie, hitting him in the face, then that soft touch on his face?

@adamngoodbuck

Hey! Nice question and for me really easy to answer. I started watching the show back in 2018 when it first aired but I was a casual viewer. Very casual. So casual I actually watched everything up to 2x10 and then I thought it was the season finale so I forgot about it. And then season 3 started. And nothing made sense. So I checked and welp, I had to catch up. And I did and something started brewing inside of me. I wasn't part of the fandom yet. And then. The THE SEARCHERS happened. And that scene. The there's nobody in this world I trust with my son more than you scene. My icon scene. And I was done. Hook, line and sinker.

@the-family-we-choose-118 

My main ones were all the big ones: the kitchen scene, the end of 3x03, the Christmas episode one where Buck is helping Danny and Chris make gingerbread houses and then plans a whole party for the firefam, Buck clawing at the ground in 3x15, Eddie interrupting Taylor Kelly when she came to the station to do the documentary in Dosed, the fact that Eddie was introduced from Buck's POV with „Whatta Man“, the entire earthquake episode where Buck is reassuring Eddie his kid is okay and then drives him to get his kid later on, and the scene where Buck introduces Eddie to Carla in (I'm pretty sure it's) the same episode where Maddie asks him if his boy crush on Eddie means he's over Abby (that was my main one). And I was fully convinced when Eddie walked in Buck's apartment in the beginning of S3 and ripped his blankets off him and was so sure he doesn't sleep naked/wouldn't have anybody over.

And the „official“ part of the guide is done but I do wanna say something else real quick which is:

You have just read about 20.000 words I painstakingly wrote over the course of several weeks and while I get that meta is even more harrowing to reblog than gifsets or fics because meta involves so much opinion and interpretation and what if you disagree with parts of it?

Well, again, I invested a lot of time in this and also: IF YOU DISAGREE TELL ME!!! TELL ME IN THE REBLOG OR IN THE TAGS!!! Because different to fics and gifsets meta is a dialog and I can’t have a dialog unless people talk to me! I’m not here to lecture you on right or wrong, I am here to tell you: okay, this is how the scene looks from my point of view, what do you say? So honestly, please consider liking and reblogging and tagging and maybe talking a little about it with me, because screaming into the void is so very boring

(And also in general: reblog reblog reblog! All these funny posts you see on buzzfeed and instagram screenshoted from tumblr? Half of them were made great by reblogs and all of them were noticed by these sites because of reblogs)

Anyways, before I (REALLY) let you go it would be hypocritical now to not talk about some people who inspired some of this (but ya’ll have to understand I cannot talk about everyone)!

I can however say these four especially helped me write this:

- @diggorypuff , who I have never talked to but whose posts about interesting parallels actually sort of got me into thinking deeper about this show: (X)

- @ingu, who fairly recently did a series of gifsets on Buddie and how Buck is framed as Eddie’s love interest which gave me life: (X)

- @matan4il, who is such an amazing friend and does the most concice and well thought out metas on Buddie without having to watch the show a million times like other people we shall not name have to (me, I am talking about me). Find her buddie metas here: (X) 

- And most importantly my girl, my babe, my love, @chimbuckleys who is the voice of reason between us and always lets me rant about stuff and was the sounding board for this and so much else I have written - I couldn’t do this without you! (ALSO I AM GOING TO BED NOW, BABE!!!)

AND DEAR READER, you made it! Now go have a blessed day and plant some trees because earth is dying and we with it!

[crypticsaplink]

I posted 5,655 times in 2021

40 posts created (1%)

5615 posts reblogged (99%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 140.4 posts.

I added 61 tags in 2021

#madame ashlyn - 7 posts

#xilric storme - 7 posts

#twill romeo - 7 posts

#sirius skithe - 7 posts

#lorelai agaste - 6 posts

#<3 - 6 posts

#aesthetic - 6 posts

#tithess fyre - 5 posts

#tw cursing - 5 posts

#tw cussing - 5 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#in the mean time i'm going to go and hide in a dark corner rock back and forth and then slither out to press a random button reading 'post'

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Hey! May I ask about The Grey Sky? It already sounds interesting! :D

(*CRIES LOUDLY*) AYE THANK YOU FOR ASKING IT KINDA IS IF YOU LIKE FANTASY STUFF,, YEAH OF COURSE YOU CAN ASK HONEY

(*cough cough--*) Anyway. 

The Grey Sky is a work in progress, and I haven’t sorted the plot out yet, but it basically mulls down to me creating a villain story about a bunch of people who are admittedly insane (some nearing on anarchy too!) and having them work against a stubborn and theocratic / fascist government that keeps magic under lock and key for sketchy reasons.

There are a lot of species that are going on in there - Arccroylts (pronounced Ar-ch-roy-alts), Avesitarans (pronounced Av-ehs-it-er-ans), Vixsians (pronounced Vic-see-ans) and plain old humans. Humans rule most of everything, and Arccroylts and Avesitarans are on opposing sides fighting an endless war with their own species and governments, while Vixsians are endangered and hidden due to their magical background that has been basically banished.

Xilric Storm is an Arccroylts, Tithess Fyre is an Avesitaran, and Sirius Skithe is a Vixsian. Lorelai, Twill and Madame Ashlyn are humans.

Arccroya, Avesitar and Vixsaya have their own governments (well, not so much for Vixsaya, their entire species basically descended into anarchy after they were kicked out and forced into hiding), and Arccroya plus Avesitar work against each other due to the differences for their kind. One is what seems like Ice tiefling-looking people (living in -50° to -70°), the other literal Fire beings (living in 700° to 1200°). The two cannot come into contact with each other’s worlds, how tragic.

It’s more set on the actual characters and their stories than anything, but I want it to address political and other issues with the world, so there’s that. A lot of stuff goes down, I’m planning to kill off the main character Lorelai (the only other “healer” other than Sirius who’s more of a potion / poison expert than anything but you get the jist--) half way through to add spice.

If you have any specific questions about characters or storyline or whatever you want go ahead and drop an ask hjskdjshg, I’m always up to answer stuff about what I make,, 

I didn’t give all the details or anything much about characters because I didn’t want to make it too long and didn’t know what to write so yeye! <33

7 notes • Posted 2021-04-22 20:49:25 GMT

#4

I just ate a bunch of mushrooms and I'm ready for the day

Hel yeah!! I hope they weren’t psychedelic shrooms, otherwise we have a problem. :) Wait... Where did the little fellows go?

7 notes • Posted 2021-03-09 10:17:22 GMT

#3

URL CHANGE: ➴ directorarc -> lokaarc

11 notes • Posted 2021-06-01 22:11:12 GMT

#2

I admire this man. This noble thief. He shall join my army and we will set for the sunrise, bringing the government down to it’s knees.

I might have to give him some Fluoxetine / Concerta for his travels though, he looks halfway between the astral plane and Earth. Is he okay? No offense.

15 notes • Posted 2021-03-02 10:19:34 GMT

#1

It's

Fucking

STRONGBRU DAY-

BASTARD FIRE MAN SUPREME!!

(I am still lightly afraid but oh well, at least there'll be cool bonkin' action. We all love the bonkin' action.)

15 notes • Posted 2021-03-13 14:30:46 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[hellishhin]

Housekeeping

Contents: about me, adult content warning, tag organization, in progress list

I also run a little tavern of a blog called The Laughing Stag. Instead of scouring the depths of the Tumblr for new writeblrs, you can just visit The Stag! People can submit their work, find work from writers of specific genres, and just get general support and advice. Check it out if you feel so inclined!

Back to Sadie, I shall talk about this blog more below the cut.

A little About Me

I am a masters student and decided I wanted to give myself more work to do... No in reality I wanted a creative outlet and I can't do art to save my life despite wanting nothing more in the world than to be good at art. But I have some moderate writing skills and a damn good story to tell.

I am no longer succeeding at posting daily but I try to get a post out every few days. Please be patient with me.

I also absolutely love it when people talk to me or interact with my posts or just acknowledge I exist so seriously don't hesitate to reach out for anything, story related or not. It took me an extra half hour to fall asleep one night when I saw someone reblogged one of my posts so go wild if you feel so inclined!

I am insanely open to feedback (as long as it's genuinely constructive) and want to know what I can do to make this blog a better experience. Anything from tagging to post formatting to style is fair game and I will see what I can do with it. If you want a scene in more detail or want a custom scene or anything I'd love to write it just ask! Especially because I don't let myself edit my work too much or I will get caught up in the unachievable perfection cycle and nothing would get posted. So if you're interested in a scene that you don't think I did very well also let me know and I'd be happy to take the time to make it better!

Some Adult Content

Sadie has a lot of dark stuff that happens to her and I can't cut it out because so much of it shaped who she is. I will keep the detail minimal but there will be adult themes, please be aware. Posts will be tagged as accurately as possible and a break will be added.

Tag Organization:

#sadieblaze will be the main tag for the story posts and each post will also have a tag that designates a number with it like this: #post 1 etc.

#sadiestuff will be Sadie related but not an actual story post

Each main character mentioned in the post will have their name as a tag attached so you can search for where each character shows up in posts if you want. I am not sure people even do that but that's how I'm tagging it lol.

Please kindly make me aware of any triggers/content warnings I need to add I'm trying to think of stuff but I might miss things I'm less familiar with.

In Progress:

Working on a 'next' and 'previous' button for posts (please let me know if they don't go to the right places and it might take me a day or two to catch up on editing them into the posts)

If you'd like to start at the first post you can click here!

The story continues below!

[twsted-tales-of-scheherazade]

The town you found yourself in was silent. Despite its pristine condition, there were no signs of life. It was as if time had stopped altogether. Your only companion was your very own shadow trailing after you, brought into existence by the light of the full moon above.

You shivered as the cold wind bit your skin. But the cold temperature wasn’t the only reason your hair stood on end. This town which had no life, was unsettling. In the back of your mind, you wondered if this was just some strange dream your mind conjured up.

It had to be, right? How else would you find yourself here?

Perhaps you should find somewhere to settle, close your eyes, and hope that you would wake up to the familiar ceiling of your bedroom, not a night sky filled with twinkling stars.

...But then, you see it.

In the distance was a tent illuminated by lanterns. Once you caught a glimpse of a figure inside, you immediately started to approach.

Normally, you would be more wary, but the concept of another person you can talk to in this situation was rather appealing. You peaked from behind the curtains of the tent and saw a woman inside, sitting on one of the chairs. She...had a unique look to her, with long, lavender hair, dark skin, and garnet eyes that seemed to glimmer with gold.

She spots you idling at the entrance a few moments later and gestured for you to come in. You did so, eyes trailing to the trinkets that decorated her abode.

“Welcome, dear traveler.” She greeted. Her voice was soft, and rather soothing. Slowly, your shoulders relaxed and you pulled up a seat across from her. Her lips twitched in semblance of a smile and her eyes narrowed ever so slightly.

“Tell me, what story would you like to hear?”

You looked at her in confusion before stating that you would just like to go home. You didn’t need to hear a story.

“Oh, my dear...you wouldn’t have found yourself here if you truly didn’t want to. Well, no matter.” The lantern hanging from the staff beside her begins to thrum and shake. Wisps of light began to trail out, expanding, contorting, forming an image right in front of your eyes. “If your lips will not speak, then surely, your heart will.”

As a certain queen had said, “Rules should be followed.”

I will do scenarios, headcanons, and character interactions in this blog. Take note that each of them have character limits.

Scenario - up to three(3) characters

Headcanons - up to five(5) characters

Character interactions - one(1) character

Exceed any of those limits and your request will be deleted. No exceptions.

Add some details to your request. If you send in something like “Fluffy headcanons for the Heartslabyul boys, please?”, then I wouldn’t have much to work with. Your request may take a long time to answer, or it may end up getting deleted.

Indicate what you would like as a format (headcanon or scenario). If you don’t specify, I will write the former.

Indicate what gender you want the reader or mc to be. Otherwise, I will write them as gender neutral.

I do not do NSFW. I am not confident in writing it.

There will be specific topics I will not indulge, such as pedophilia. Extreme topics like those are not welcome in this blog.

I do not do yandere requests here. If you wish for a darker tale, then please go to my other blog, @lampyrid I shall entertain your requests there.

Unfortunately, I do not do oc x character or character x character. This is strictly a reader insert blog.

Be polite. I do not entertain rude or demanding people. Keep this place free of negativity.

Requests are always open here. I find it a hassle to open and close my inbox. But remember that there is no guarantee that I will do each and every request.

I will only close the ask box if something important comes up IRL and I need to take a hiatus.

I am also a third year college student that is rather busy. I take up writing to de-stress myself and relax. Naturally, I can’t pump out content all the time. I am the most active during vacations (summer break, semester break, Christmas break, etc.).

Tags:

Alf layla wa layla (Meaning: Arabian Nights)- answered requests

Li donia fawq (Meaning: To a world above/A whole new world)- character interactions

whispers in the night- not a request/chat

when there is no traveler in sight- other (reblogs, etc.)

Credits for the images used in this post: https://pngtree.com/freepng/european-border-curtain-pattern_4068944.html

[alphaofdarkness]

not me here for the oc ask ! can't wait to answer the ones you asked me, tomorrow i have my exam and then i shall live again haha ! but now i'll ask you 1, 2, 17, 18, 19, 20 and 31 — i know, it is a lot ( you don't have to do them all 💕) , but i really want to know something more about your wonderful babies and Dany ofc ! I missed her sm during this semi-hiatus 🤧💕💕💕 hope you're doing fine, sending you lots of love 💞💕💘

@carmenio Edgy!! 🥺 so happy to hear from you! ✨ I love these kinds of asks, especially on my many, many OC babies! I hope these answers are good and interesting to thee! I’ll present more info on Dany to some way, some how cause I love her 😭💖

I have gone and included the other questions you asked as well! 🤗 Let’s dive in! 😳

1. Gone and Answered Here ! UwU

2. Do you have a personal favorite among your OCs?

Personal favorite is often shown in the one I draw the most lol, which for a long time was Danielle LWW, but just because she was also my wolfsona at the time. After I made my own personal one I think I went onto Sam for a good while, also eventually going to Dany from Bsd!

So a tie between two beautiful girls, Sam is definitely my favorite LWW Oc, she is just precious and the one I hold the most and most always feel terrible and bad when I put her through it TM. 

Also Dany is my self insert, U//w//U, she has definitely allowed me to slowly self love and allow me to appreciate myself, especially the parts of me I didn’t think to much about or consider so appealing, I think? She has definitely been changing gradually into more of myself since I first came up with her almost 2 years ago! Watch me slowly knock her down to my height of 4′9″, let her have her 3 inches for another year maybe lol.

My dearest Atsushi agrees lol ✨🐯

17. Any OC OTPs? 

👀 lol yesss~ so many and so many crack ships too, which I'll answer next 😂

I’ll just go on and list them off, plenty more of them but~:

DanyJay

SoraYama

LidiaTom

AlikLucy

IsabelleKayla

AlexanderIsabelle

DarkwolfmonJatomon

JatamonRaiwolfmon

EarthamonHounmon

HumaamonWolverimon

And lastly TakaSam is the one I have definitely drawn and thought of the most! They are the top OTP and just best trope of Childhood Friends to Lovers trope, also filling in that trope of Oblivious to both of them but everyone else 🙄. While SoraYama may have been the OG Couple in my story, my love and warmth for TakaSam is unmatched TwT.

It is wild cause I always draw anguish between them as could-have-been-lovers-had-it-not-been-for-death, but recently been drawing them purely happy and content. Total sweethearts, the love everyone wants, excluding possibility of being old friends or not!

18. Any OC crackships?

L o l, I never seem to focus on the main couples because of this specific thing.

I’ll again just go off in list an maybe add a trope or something to get an idea of them:

DanyYama: Rivals, Constantly arguing, and can be petty as heck, but oh the potential and just possibility of opening up after the traumaTM 👀 also the couple that is always in your face about being in a relationship.

DanySora: Sparing partners, the sass and stubbornness, BiPan solidarity 👀

DanyLidia: Pure, wholesome, best friends and so much hugging and lifting from the tol to smol, the nature love vibes

SamJay: Wholesome, soft, healing together from traumaTM, protectiveness, also their Digimon were lovers and married in their previous life, what does that make us? 😳

SamDany: Mostly sibling-like relationship, but damn they have that Sun and Moon tropes?! How can you not possibly ship them!

SamLula: Shy and Confident, Bisexual/Lesbian solidarity 💕✨

JaySora: Opposite of the DanyYama tropes, why are our partners constantly arguing, can they please stop, pure and soft together.

DanyTaka: Digimon Au specifically, Oh you and I are the voice of the revolution? We are rallying up the troops together? Oh boi my Digimon feels love for yours, am I falling for you or are we falling together? Depression buddies but also each others hope and spirit boost ;;w;;

Any of the Warriors with the Sins: A whole lo t of mess, and just not healthy ... but I can already seen fandom people sayin g otherwise~

LustWrath: Spicy, no strings attached kind of deal.

WrathEnvy: ...Oof um, not healthy, kind of manipulative, we are devils there is nothing but toxic vibes.

PrideWrath: Rulers, King and Queen vibes, Yeah we are toxic for each other, f*** off.

19. Introduce an OC that means a lot to you (and explain why)

Definitely Darkwolfmon! I am sure I explained in the first question why, but again I consider her to be that other half of me, the part of me I never discovered or the parts that essentially fill in the gaps within me. She is my precious partner Digimon and has honestly come a long, long way since I first created her. I believe sometime in 2009-2010, so almost 11-12 years since. She was the first ever OC of mine and is one I hold closest too in my heart.

For the longest time, even too now, I have always wanted her to just manifest at my side. Go on this journey of life together. While she might not be physically here like my child-self would want, she is still in my stories, my imagination, my inspirational drive. I think that is definitely more than enough, I don't know where or who I would be without having created her. I probably wouldn’t have a whole tale of OC’s and stories to tell if it wasn't for her. 

I am more than grateful and thankful that I am who I am because of this lovely Oc of mine. I can only hope to have her at my side for the rest of my days!

20. Do any of your OCs sing? If they sing, care to share more details (headcanon voice, what kind of songs they like etc)?

Most, if not all, my OC’s can sing! Their voices and tones vary, to which I cannot give a straight answer on how I headcanon most of their voices right now ^^; I will say that Danielle has a British accent to her voice as well as Spanish speak, and Sora has a Russian accent to her voice, so may be just lightly deep, but not to much.

I will definitely go with my Bsd Oc/Self Insert Danielle Mika Mason, however! Because I have gone and done a thing on how she would speak in her Japanese and English Dub! Other than me also being her voice, her Japanese VA would be Yui Ishikawa, same VA of the queen herself, Mikasa 💕 English VA would be Barrett Wilbert Weed, with an English accent, good Veronica from the Heathers! You can have a listen to her here in this post! 

Dany is meek when it comes to her singing, she will often be caught humming and softly singing something, but quickly tends to stop around others. She is often back and forth with how she sounds and often shuts down when she hears someone she considers better than her. She just needs some encouragement and a gentle push from someone she really cares about. When she does feel the push and genuineness from someone she will sing her heart out. But of course prefers to sing for only that one special person~ can ya guess~ 🐯

31.  Pick one OC of yours and explain what their tumblr blog would be like (what they reblog, layout, anything really).

Oh boi! I literally have moodboards to add to this! I pick Samantha, or Sam! 

She would totes have a Tumblr blog, and Instagram! You always look forward to see what she post and just feel an instant calmness and warmth when you see it! She is always tagging her things appropriately, a soft and warm spring like layout that is shades of yellows, golds, orange, white; an occasional blue and teal as well! She would reblog anything of her aesthetic, golds, yellows, dance and ballet related things (may even post videos or poses of herself in practice and dance related things), cafe shops, sweets and desserts, warm night lights, cats, lots and lots of cats and felines of all shapes and sizes! Her best friend/boyfriend, Takaru always cameos in her stories and posts 💖

She would also reblog or spread awareness of any issues happening in the world, marking them and making her own voice heard as well. In spur moments, you may see her not tag things, but will likely go back to name things accordingly. She would also reblog anything of Bi Pride too!

28. Your most dangerous OC? 

Hmmm,,, my most dangerous Oc, I am taking the notion that they are just plain dangerous and likely of evil intent in their actions. Because plenty of my Oc’s on their own are dangerous in their own right, such as the Legendary Wolf Warriors, who have a great power at their paws. They can be destructive in their actions if they lose control or use it for the wrong intentions, which they wouldn't do of their free will. 

I will say Danielle and Sam are the strongest of the seven, because of their powers of Darkness and Light, respectively. Their souls created the others, so the other Warrior’s power does not match theirs. They can definitely be lethal together if used for the wrong reasons or if they are under the control of a Human or Deadly Sin.

Which leads me to say that the most dangerous of my OC’s with the worst intentions and evil thought processes that makes them dangerous is likely the Deadly Soul Sin Pride, or Mikka Penelope King/Pride as her solid name goes. 

She is definitely the most sinister of the seven sins, even worse than Wrath, who you may figure would be the worst. She has a calculating mind and is very precise in her actions and ways of manipulation. She has a poison within her veins that is just as deadly, capable of blinding others or even killing without remorse or care. While she may be a ghost like entity in my stories, a person/digimon holder in my Digimon College Au, she has enough power to influence people to fall under pride and vanity in the most dangerous level possible, heck even possess them if she wishes. That makes her stronger, as well as the other sins. Does not matter if she is dead or fades away for a while, her influence remains and if it does, than she can exist for a long as she desires.

48. OC who is a perfect cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure

Lol I saw cinnamon roll and instantly had a list of ocs ready, honestly any child OC I have is instantly a cinnamon roll and to good and put for this world, please treat them all kindly!

Current top Oc’s that come to mind are Haruko Mason-Nakajima, along with their nameless sister/pup! They are the sweetest babies ever and love them so much. Too good and pure, especially nameless pup with her love for tigers; she wants to grow up and be like her sibling and papa 🥺🥰  You can see the post on them here!

Next up is my precious flamey boi named Alik Azure Mizuhara! A next gen. LWW, son of Sora and Yamato! A little sightless boi with the softest heart and warmest empathy for others. Very much like his mother in likeness and pure curiosity of the world’s secrets and tales. His father worries for him a lot, but gradually learns to trust in his ability to guide himself. Don’t worry too much about him, he is very smart and knows how to care and guide himself!

Thank you so much for the time and questions you asked me Edgy! I had so much fun with these and gave me a chance to gush about my dearest OC’s! I do hope you find them of interest! 🤗🥺🥰

May your day be beautiful and amazing!! 🥰✨💖

[yshai-tia]

thanks to @house-vexile​‘s idea about spreading some appreciation with reckless abandon in honour of the holiday season, here’s my attempt at being obnoxiously sappy towards all the folk who’ve extended their kindness my way, and just in general, since i made this blog some odd few months ago. time to spread some good cheer and all that, leggo.

first section is dedicated to the folk who’ve written with me/are currently writing with me. not to sound like some hot popular bitch but you all reached out to me and right off the bat i’m stupidly grateful for that because it cannot always be easy to just straight up contact a complete stranger like ‘H-HEY WRITE WITH ME MAYBE?!?!’ ya’ll got stones. own that shit.

@ayice-tia​ of course you gotta be first ‘cause you were the first person to contact me not too long after i threw that messy LFRP post to the winds. i still get a laugh out of the fact that you thought i wouldn’t respond back to you u fewl, now we’ve been writing for months, surprise!! where to start. you’re the first person to sit down and dedicate to long-term writing with me and it’s thanks to you that i’ve been able (and am still currently doing so, let’s be real) to flesh out so much of Shai’s character. like i go back and reread our first posts and i barely even have a grasp on his manner of speech yet let alone most other things. between writing with you and constantly shooting the shit with you on discord he’s been able to rapidly take form into a fully fledged character with a lot more depth than I ever expected-- i’m especially appreciative of all the long talks we’ve had about brainstorming tribal lore, to toss ideas back and forth about our catte’s respective homes and their people has been some of the best manner of character building.

you already know how much I adore Yice, being able to watch him grow into a complex character in his own right has been such a treat, how he grows into his confidence yet never loses his good heart in the process. i love how you are able to so perfectly write a character who’s an absolute ray of sunshine yet has this undeniable simmering fire underneath. when i think of the trope ‘my kindness is not weakness’ Yice comes to mind instantly, and you nail that essence with aplomb. anyway, i hope to continue writing with you for a long time to come!! thank you for reaching out to me and sticking around this entire time. also p.s. never stop sending me photos of your dog

@further-ruin​ we may not have written all that much together yet (yet™!!!) but it’d be remiss for me not to talk about how lovely your writing is. your attention for detail, especially character-wise, is so good and goes such a length to really add liveliness to a scene. even if the scene is two frozen cattes talking in a cave somewhere in godsforsaken Coerthas, i’m still into it, and the effort you put in really shows because i may not be all too familiar with Izzy just yet but i’m already invested in his mannerisms, his potential, what could be brought forth from behind that carefully maintained icy facade. he already has Shai’s curiosity piqued that’s for damn certain. i can’t wait to see where things go and, in the mean time, enjoy your vacation! man i wish i was on a beach right now.... i bet they do too, if they weather this storm Shai is gonna drag Izzy’s ass to Costa

@hiraethwyl​ oh Lyrin’a. Lyrin’a is such a cutie. Writing with you is definitely such a nice relaxing reprieve, you’re the first, and still the only, person to approach me with the rp hook of ‘hey build something for my character!’ and that alone made me stupidly happy, for 1) getting to write out a scene that involves Shai’s normal-ass day job, and 2) because someone read enough about his character to realize “oh he could probably do this thing i need.” and, of course, you already saw ICly how ecstatic Shai was at the chance of getting to build Lyrin’a a new brace, he cannot wait to get started. your writing has such a gentle lilt to it, i can easily get lost in reading those stand alone pieces you post on your blog, i love them. i’m eager to see him flourish more as a character, maybe Shai will be able to convince him to show him around the Shroud a bit? share some of his Keeper culture with him? we shall see!

@swordmens​ you i specifically left for last because i could talk about your writing until the year rolls over and then some. holy shit. where do i even begin? your meticulous care for detail, the way you build a scene, the atmosphere, everything. you just fucking nail it again and again without fail and it leaves me in awe. honestly in the beginning i was so stupidly intimidated, some legit real writer’s fear, like ‘they are so good at this?? oh my god??? i don’t think i can keep up????? does this drivel i send their way even compare??????’ absolute terror. at this point the intimidation is mostly abated (still kinda there little bit ngl) but my adoration of your writing has not, i could never tire of reading everything you put out there. there’s this inherent level of thrill knowing you’re writing with someone that, no matter how exactly you toss up the ball, they will in some way or another spike that shit with intensity. i just. so damn good. please never stop writing. ultimately, in the long-run, the intimidation was a beneficial thing because rising to the challenge of wanting to keep up with your writing went from ‘oh shit i’m scared, every word’s gotta be perfect’ to ‘oh fuck this is a lot of fun actually???’ and i’d like to imagine my own writing has benefited from it, if anything my confidence as a writer absolutely has and i have you to thank for that. as far as collaborative writing goes, i don’t think you can ask for much more than a rp partner that you both genuinely enjoy writing with and actively challenges you. i’m extremely grateful for the chance to write with you.

tl;dr i adore your writing, i adore writing with you, i adore Castor. i’m sorry i didn’t take your initial offer of having them meet in a more laid-back fashion and now they’re both beat forty different shades of shit from sunday while simultaneously trying to row up shit’s creek without a paddle LMAO as sorry as i feel for them it’s been fun every single step of the way

@silvernsteel​ @eorzeanincubus​ @nikoto-n​ @kytir​ @amahrigold​ @xavi-ffxiv​ @twelveswood​ @confusedtia​ @miqojak​ @placesyoucallhome​ @a-corsairs-chorus​ @gayhaurchefant​ @lightdevoid​ @sola-ffxiv​ @ishgard​ @voidwife​ @sand-seeks-sun​ @wondereverlasting​ @ivyffxiv​ @alphadrg​ @az-ffxiv​ @mai-takeda​ @vylette-elakha​ @dravaniia​ @gatheredfates​ @aife-ffxiv @lordittetsu

ya’ll are no doubt like, oh sweet jesus why is he tagging me, leave me out of this nonsense. tough nuts. your ass is getting tagged for one of the following reasons: we’ve talked about writing together but haven’t quite yet, i’ve noticed how often you reblog my photosets, you say nice things about my stupid cat boy, you tag me in shit, you’re just a general, overall positive presence whomst’ve i adore seeing on my dash, you said one (1) nice thing to me last month and i still haven’t forgotten it, you deserve to be called out for being great, etc etc. appreciate yourselves, ‘cause i appreciate ya’ll. also write with me sometime :dagger:

[lie-where-i-land]

[this is the most updated version of this reblog, to correct formatting and add more information]

Venwe came to my attention March 6th 2021. The post below was long before the russian invasion of ukraine and should at least prove that fandom skepticism about venwe’s intentions are not based in russophobia as @cycas​ seems to claim.  It’s screenshotted so I can blot out the op.

Image Description: a text post from a tumblr user that reads “It has come to my attention that a Tolkien/The Silmarillion blog that reposted my ableism in COH post is a known TERF and SWERF and as a trans person I’m baffled cause a) I literally have the trans flag as the background for my PFP b) I have my pronouns on my bio and c) I have the 🏳️‍⚧️ emoji on my bio too like... okayyy. Anyways, I have blocked them and will be deleting my reblog to their response.I thought about making a call out post but then I remembered how I got harassed by TERFs for years on this hellsite so um. This is kind of a callout post, kind of not? If you want to block that blog if you’re a trans person and/or a trans ally check out the link I posted, and feel free to DM me if you want some evidence. The trans person that let me know showed me some but again, I don’t fancy getting harassed by TERFs on this fine evening so uh. Not gonna do that cause um. Yeah I just got my first anon hate on my personal blog and I’d rather not get back to the old times of getting mass anon hate and cyberbullying by TERFs and transphobes.This should also go to say that if you’re a TERF and/or a transphobe as a trans person I don’t want you near my blog. I know this is a fandom blog, but I don’t care. That didn’t stop TERFs and transphobes from sending death threats and calling me slurs on my fandom blog two years ago, so uh, just, if you’re a TERF, transphobe, or bigot of any other kind, (gif of gandalf saying ‘you shall not pass’)” (end image description

The links go to venwe’s deleted blog but the post about ableism in the Children of Hurin (from January 15, 2021) can be found in a three-part set of screenshots that I have located, which venwe had indeed commented on like the op said.  See below:

Image Description: A set of three screenshots dated January 15th 2021, by the same author that wrote the later March 6th 2021 post about Venwe. The first two images are of the op’s meta on ableism in tolkien’s work the Children of Hurin, specifically regarding Brandir and Turin and ableism about physical deformities.  The third shows venwe’s reply to the op, sandwiched before the one from user fortuitousraven. Venwe’s reblog contains nothing transphobic, and is a good discussion of ableism.” (end image description)

I’m sorry for not transcribing the whole post about ableism, but it’s very long and the detailed content is not at all related to the body of my post.  I only included it to establish that venwe had indeed interacted on the post the op specified, in the manner that op specified.  I would have just included the links for you but I didn’t want to open the op up to any renewed harassment.  

I feel like the nature of posts like this are actually a good thing to talk about.  There was no terf rhetoric in venwe’s reply to the children of hurin post.  Nothing would clue you into it from seeing her casual interactions with people on here.  Then posts like the one I referenced blow up, get a lot of traction, and new followers come to the blogs involved.  When that blog is run by a terf, this increases the pool of people they can begin introducing to radfem rhetoric.

I can demonstrate this is the case with venwe’s blog. I was not satisfied with a vague text post with no concrete evidence, with now broken links. I did some more digging, and found a pretty damning screenshot from December 2021.

Image Description: a tumblr ask sent by lesbiansforboromir to the blog tolkien-meta-library. The ask from lesbiansforboromir reads “hey there, just thought I should give a heads up as per your pinned post, one of your followers, url venwe, is a terf and you may want to block them. Their answer to my most recent ask is pretty revealing without context.”

Tolkien-meta-library replied “oh no… I’ve been following them for ages :(”

The screenshot t-m-l included of venwe’s transphobia is of a text post from venwe that reads “I… I really don’t understand why you keep assuming I am talking about trans women (i.e. male individuals with gender dysphoria) when I’m not? I’m literally talking about males (as in, in general) who claim to be women and then make attempts to shut down discussions of sex-specific issues (like period stigma, sex exploitation, systemic medical neglect, domestic abuse, abortion ban, diet culture, commodification of bodies, honor killings etc etc) or disregard the notion of sex based oppression. I have no idea if they are dysphoric or not! In fact, it’s entirely possible that most of them don’t actually identify as women and only treat that as either a fetish, or a way to get quick clout on the internet (or both). I mean, if you stick to the concept of a self-ID and a woman is “whoever calls themselves a woman” then there’s virtually no difference between those two groups, so that may have led you to misinterpret my words. But I do think some kind of distinction is important here.” (End image description)

Note: venwe’s blog is live again and the link for the above ask is here:

So. This ticks all the boxes for overt transphobia, specifically trans exclusive radical feminism. First: misgendering trans women by referring to their assigned sex at birth. Second: claims that a certain set (or maybe all) trans women are faking being women for nefarious purposes. Third: that being trans is a fetish and a perversion.

There are numerous flaws to this. Sex at birth is not a universal predictor of temperament, kindness, value, or any other human quality. Trying to separate out fakers allows you to attack anyone on flimsy grounds and forces people to conform to a set of standards that you decide in order to win acceptance or avoid punishment. The med/psych establishment has for a long time tried to mislabel transness into definable categories of mental illness or fetish behavior (autogynephilia). Transness is not a fetish. And for the record, fetishes are not inherently bad - though sex negativity and kink critical ideology is a staple of radfeminism. But the conflating of queerness, specifically genderqueerness, with overt sexuality (with the implication of forcing oneself into spaces or upon others) is a very old queerphobic tactic.

Another person reached out to me with images from the wayback machine of venwe’s transphobic blog activity:

Image Description: four images of venwe’s tumblr blog activities captured by the wayback machine. First, a text post that says “there is no such thing as more of or less of a woman, you either are a woman or you aren’t. Like genderists say that a lot, that we’re less of a woman or inferior to trans women. No offense but that insult doesn’t hurt me the way it does to you. I don’t need some punk ass kid on tumblr validating my social and biological reality, I’m very aware of it, your projection is showing.”

Second, a text post with the image of an anime woman in blue military dress and the caption “Canon terf character of the day: Olivier Armstrong from full metal alchemist brotherhood.”

Third, an anon ask to venwe that says “hi, what is your opinion on radfem/terf ideology? I’m just confused bc you reblogged something from a terf” to which venwe replied “I am a radical feminist lol, isn’t that kinda … self evident? I have no solid thoughts on terf ideology though, because I have yet to come across any coherent explanation of what it actually is.”

Fourth, a text post that venwe liked that reads “one of the strongest blood boilers is the question ‘if your feminism doesn’t include trans women then who is it for then?’ How about 3.5 billion people? Is that enough? Are we still allowed to exercise our fundamental human rights and come together, organize and have female only events and spaces?” What name shall we give our movement if not feminism? They can have their everyoneism. Leave FEMinism alone, it belongs to us FEMales. We are half the planet and we are not going anywhere.” (End image description).

Note: venwe’s blog is live again so the link to the ask in the third photo is here.

This is what we mean when we say doing something as simple as boosting a radfem blog, or reblogging ordinary posts from them, draws more followers to radfem bloggers.  This not only increases the ideological sway they can exert over a group but opens the queer and trans folks in the wider circle to radfem attacks by simple visibility. 

@cycas​ @warrioreowynofrohan​ this is who you are defending. My dms are open if you want to chat.  If you have any questions about radfem ideology, common terf talking points and modes of recruitment, and common tools the trans community uses to deplatform radfems and other bigots, please reach out.  I am hoping this was a case of being well-intentioned but misinformed.

Silmarillion Fandom Transphobia

Hi, I’m @lie-where-i-land​ (James, 20s, gay trans man).  I’ve been thinking a lot recently about transphobia and trans allies in fandom spaces, and how people may pay us trans folks lip service but at the end of the day do little to support us. Yesterday was the final straw to break my back, shall we say. 

A while ago, it came to the attention of multiple trans tolkien bloggers that one semi-prominent user, @venwe, was a terf.  Most of us blocked and moved on.  It appears that this user’s original blog, @venwe, was terminated by staff, as they reappeared under a different url (@suyao-supremacy) with a promotional post asking other big name silm bloggers to boost and help them regain their mutuals. I sent the following anon ask to @cycas​, who had boosted the original promotional post.

Image Description: An anonymous tumblr ask to user Cycas that reads “Venwe (now suyao-supremacy) has been following and interacting with terfs for years. Their original blog was terminated but when it was around it was very easy to find receipts. The following list contained multiple terfs blogs and they posted some transphobic stuff in an argument a while back.  Them trying to minimize it or brush it under the rug like “I don’t Hate trans people, I just think there’s an undeniable and dangerous difference between cis and trans women aha” is not cute.  I have no receipts to send you because I don’t push callouts or cache dirt on people, but I am trans, and more than one trans friend of mine in this fandom has expressed concern over this user and their transphobic behavior, which seems to lie dormant for a while before cropping back up again (which is likely intentional as it allows them to fly under the radar).” (end image description)

@cycas​ responded below to me like this:

Image description: A text response by Cycas to the anon ask, which reads “Ok, look I’m going to answer this one publicly and, I hope, this will be an end to it even if the anons block me.  Tolkien fandom is an international, multilingual, and multicultural space. Sometimes there are going to be people with different ideas, sometimes ideas that are odd, difficult, jarring, or unpleasant. You can’t assume people will be coming to stuff with the same background as you.  I do not, on the whole, curate my tumblr feed to only people with whom I agree. That would take it down to a very small group and I don’t know how I would even begin to do that. I definitely don’t want to curate my tumblr feed according to the opinions of people who send me anon messages about who I should block. Venwe is not a celebrity with a huge influential following, and as such I don’t think should be the subject of campaigning of this kind.  Block her if you don’t like her - I’d block anyone who upsets you, whether or not you actually interact with them or just saw them in passing - but please don’t tell me who I should interact with. I am old enough that I can remember when being able to chat with a Russian woman about things we agree or disagree about was impossible. I can remember the first Russian fans coming to the UK to talk about how they had discovered Tolkien, and what an absolutely amazing moment that was, way back in the early 90s, that we were all able to share these books. And now the peace we all hoped for so desperately is over and I don’t know where to begin about that.  I’m betting you are young enough that you don’t know what you are asking me when you say ‘stop talking to a Russian woman because I think that they say the wrong things.’ I’m not dismissing your concerns (of the Ukraine war) and nor so far as I can see is Venwe). And I’m sorry to hurt your feelings, but I’m not going to do what you say on this one.” (end image description)

@cycas​ tagged the post saying any further conversation needed to be done off anon.  I was incredibly hesitant about this because I feared onlookers would put transphobic stuff in my inbox, but the response above was such a bad faith interpretation of what I’d actually written that I felt the need to clear the air. So, I reblogged the post with my addition below:

Image Description: A text reblog from lie-where-i-land, which reads “To be very clear, I’m not dressing some weird Russophobia up in some pro-trans trappings. I am a trans man. As I said before, I have had venwe blocked for over a year now for their overt following of radfems (inside and outside the Tolkien fandom) and some unsavory transphobic debate on their blog. I do not stalk blogs that I have blocked because I find that sort of internet behavior troublesome, unethical, and harmful to my mental health. Any comments that they have made regarding the Russian invasion of Ukraine, I have not heard. Firstly, I have them blocked, and secondly, staff torpedoed their blog so I couldn’t find the comments even if I wanted to.

I am wondering if you have received messages from more than just me? Because I did not mention venwes nationality in this message or the follow up that I sent. I can see why you thought I might be motivated by venwe being Russian, but I couldn’t help but feel that you read something into this that I didn’t say, put words in my mouth, and spun this as me trying to isolate and alienate random Russians online. It makes you seem like the charitable and good hearted fandom participant, and me like some sort of miserly buzzkill.

I think we both know that this is not a case of “don’t talk to this Russian lady bc Russian cooties.” I think you’re right in saying that part of what makes the Tolkien fandom great is the depth and international breadth of its roots. My mutuals and I are from every corner of the globe, and I think that makes our friendship better not worse. And no, i don’t agree with them on everything (concerning Tolkien or offline matters). I find that maintaining a friendship with someone from a wildly different background mostly comes down to open mindedness, willingness to listen, taking things with good faith, and asking clarifying questions. As such, when my international friends have challenged my views or beliefs, we’ve managed to remain friends.

Posting transphobic rhetoric, following radfems, and being part of a circle of transphobes that operate within the tolkien fandom is not “having a difference of opinion.” I don’t need someone to have the same background as me, or to be knowledgeable in the same way I am knowledgeable. My grandmother is old, transphobic in the way much of her generation is, and her opinions like “[she] doesn’t care who uses the ladies’ room as long as no one pisses on the floor” are not PC. Her fumbling attempts at progress are done in better faith than the people on here that try to draw borders to distinguish perpetual man and perpetual woman, perpetual patriarch and perpetual victim, as if trans people are (depending on what is rhetorically suitable) dangerous invaders in need of purging or misguided mental degenerates in need of salvation.

I don’t comb through the blog of everyone that interacts with me on the off chance they might be “problematique.” I dont expect that level of effort from anyone. At best, I give new followers a cursory glance to their bio and top three posts. However, I think it is pretty reasonable that I don’t follow terfs or reblog from radfems in the fandom because “it’s not a post about radfeminism.” This is a pretty standard rule of thumb followed by every trans person I know. Why? You’re right, venwe is not a big platform influencer. But I am a trans man. I post something, an ally reblogs it, their follower is a somewhat stealthy terf and reblogs it, their followers are terfs and now I have terfs in my inbox. The silm fandom is small enough as it is. Terfs find blogs like mine in large part because “allies” overlook radfem rhetoric as a difference of opinion.

This fandom is either friendly to trans people or it’s friendly to terfs. If it’s friendly to both, then don’t be surprised if your circle ends up just being terfs, because trans people won’t stick around for long like this. No, i don’t need to follow you, or boost your content. Please then, do trans people the courtesy of not reblogging our content if you’re hiding terfs in your coattails.” (end image description)

@cycas​ did not reblog my addition, either to not draw more attention to their words or to avoid drawing attention specifically to my rebuttal.  Instead Cycas replied in the comments, which you can see below:

Image Description: A reply in the notes of the original post, by cycas to lie-where-i-land, which reads “I assume the account was removed because it had a Russian IP and was posting about Ukraine.  I very much sympathize with your position, but to me it seems that being a progressive Russian lesbian wondering whether to risk imprisonment and worse at a demo isn’t easy either.  I shared the post because I was asked to do so, and I don’t really think that counts as putting anyone at risk, except possibly for venwe.” (end image description)

So there was no acknowledgement from cycas that they had been and continued to be (as visible from their following lists - though venwe/suyao-supremacy’s has now been hastily privated) mutuals with a terf.  They continue to run with the false claim that this is beef because of the russian invasion.  And they double down on how the only one at risk here is venwe, not any of the trans tolkien fans that they are now introducing to a terf’s blog through a promotional post. I screenshotted the reply and attached it to a second reblog which is below:

Image Description: A text reblog by lie-where-i-land that reads “Cycas, again, I have no knowledge of venwe’s stance on the current invasion of Ukraine. I find it somewhat unlikely that her blog was terminated for having a Russian IP when there are other Russian silm bloggers currently living in Russia that are currently active. On the other hand, lots of people have know about her being a radfem for a year now, and while I dislike speculation, that was my initial suspicion for the termination of her blog. I sympathize with anyone who is caught between wanting to demonstrate against imperialism and the knowledge that they may be in grave danger if they do so. My initial message, and my reply above, had nothing to do with venwes nationality. I am sort of frustrated at this implicit “I see how trans ppl are a target, but consider that being a Russian lesbian is dangerous too… so.” It’s possible to be marginalized and still do harm to other marginalized people.

When I talk about harm: I’m not saying you knowingly promoted a radfem because you’re in cahoots or something. But you didn’t ask for proof, you didn’t ask if any of your other followers had seen venwe’s radfem rhetoric, you immediately assumed the worst faith position possible. boosting the new traction post from a terminated radfem helps that radfem gain back their follower base. It’s handing someone the keys to your metaphorical house. The more people that give radfems the fandom house keys, the more visible and vulnerable trans tolkien bloggers are. I don’t Want to post about my life or my trans tolkien content for my followers to reblog when I know there are cryptoterfs that are mutuals with some of you, terfs who will be reading about my personal life, climbing into my inbox, making me and my friends feel unsafe and unwelcome. Now, terfs are perfectly capable of combing trans tags for my blog. But being mutuals with them hands them a list of queer and trans bloggers, wrapped with a pretty bow.Either this fandom is safe for trans people or it’s safe for terfs.” (end image description)

I am at this point past my image limit, but I wanted to share some words from @warrioreowynofrohan​, who commented in support of cycas on the initial post. The screenshot and my reply are available here for proof. 

Warrioreowynofrohan: thumbs up emoji. the new attitude of you should never communicate with or even read anything said by anyone who disagrees with you on anything of substance is deeply destructive and harmful. If people want to curate their own social media experience selectively, that’s their own choice; but they have no right to demand/pressure that everyone else do the same.

my response from the comments: this was specifically about people being friends with terfs. I’m friends with lots of people that I disagree with on one thing or another. Taking a look at what the radfems are saying so you can stay abreast of the situation is really not the same as boosting a radfems promo post. Being friends with radfems and letting them into fandom bc their meta is good puts trans ppl at risk. Yall can choose your terf friendships over trans friendships if you like tho.

I’m a queer trans man. I am no stranger to the shadowy campaigns against bloggers for being the wrong flavor of queer or doing fandom in a way someone else doesn’t like. I think it is incredibly disrespectful to the queer bloggers that got harassed and are still getting harassed to the point of leaving this site to draw deliberate comparisons here in defense of a terf. People like terfs, exclusionists, and X Critical folks regularly deride and attack bloggers like me. Saying that you won’t allow bigots in your circle is a good thing actually.

Curating your social media to your “personal preference” is something like me choosing not to follow people that vehemently hate the noldor or who call elwing a bad mom.

Unfollowing and blocking bigots is not a matter of “personal preference,” it’s a matter of keeping your marginalized friends safe.

Final Thoughts: 

I don’t hold any anger or suspicion toward people that have followed venwe/suyao-supremacy in the past.  I know lots of people have had interesting, friendly, and rather innocent conversations with them (at one point, they were rather prolific on here).  It’s hard to tell if someone is a terf masquerading as a friendly blog.  And I don’t think the solution is to fall into paranoia, scrutinizing every acquaintance for rotten subtext! I just wish more people would appraise themselves of the base tenets of radfem rhetoric so that they can identify it when it crops up, and either re-educate or block the user it’s coming from.  

Honestly, I don’t know where to go from here.  I don’t want any hate or rude words sent to those involved.  But I feel apprehensive about the state of this fandom.  I wonder how many people saw this exchange yesterday and said nothing.  I am not even so much interested in venwe/suyao-supremacy, who will no doubt slip up again and present us with more terf evidence.  The verdict has already been dealt, months ago, on that account.  I am far more interested in such people in this fandom who prefer to befriend terfs over trans folks.