#shakespeare shitpost

[william-shakespeare-official]

a midsummer night's dream

a cringesummer night's dream

a basedsummer night's dream

[happilyhadesbound]

some of my favourite Richard II (2013) Letterboxd reviews

[leseigneurdufeu]

Girls be like "I met my husband the old fashioned way, when he interrupted the funeral of my first husband who he killed, to threaten suicide until I would marry him" and then be poisonned so the guy can marry his own niece

[blinkbones]

i thought you all might want to see the very professional analysis i wrote in my copy of hamlet in a fit of drunken joy

i hope you agree. because im right

[brilledcheese]

Act 1 Scene 1 of Romeo and Juliet be like:

Prince: Listen up you little shits—

Prince: Not you, Lady Montague. You’re an angel and we’re thrilled to have you here

[thatimmortalfrog]

It's Brittany, bitch! but Shakespeare.

It's Macduff, Macbitch!

[pb-dot]

Cry 'havoc!', and let slip the frogs of war

*incessant bloodthirsty ribbits*

[blorboclaw]

Cats, warriors, Thunderclan, lend me your ears;

I come to bury Ravenpaw, not to praise him.

The evil that toms do lives after them;

The good is oft interred with their bones.

So let it be with Ravenpaw. Noble Tigerclaw

Hath told you Ravenpaw was a traitor:

If it were so, it was a grievous fault,

And grievously hath Ravenpaw answer'd it.

Here, under leave of Tigerclaw and the rest-

For Tigerclaw is an honourable cat;

So are they all, all honourable cats-

Come I to speak in Ravenpaw's funeral.

He was my denmate, loyal and just to me:

But Tigerclaw said he was a traitor;

And Tigerclaw is an honourable cat.

He hath brought many freshkill home to Rome

Which flesh did the kittens' stomachs fill:

Did in this Ravenpaw seem ambitious?

When that the queens have cried, Ravenpaw wept:

Treason should be made of sterner stuff:

Yet Tigerclaw said he was a traitor;

And Tigerclaw is an honourable cat.

You all did see that on a hunting trip,

Tigerclaw thrice ordered a risky hunt,

Which he did thrice obey: was this treason?

Yet Tigerclaw says he was traitorous;

And, sure, he is an honourable cat.

I speak not to disprove what Tigerclaw spoke,

But here I am to speak what I do know.

You all did love him once, not without cause:

What cause withholds you then, to mourn for him?

O judgment! thou art fled to brutish beasts,

And cats have lost their reason. Bear with me;

My heart is in the ground there with Ravenpaw,

And I must pause till it come back to me.

Into the Wild, exclusive scene

[bychertryntheatyr]

Lady Capulet: Heyyy sweetheart! Your almost fourteen right? *wink* Don't you think? It's time? *nudge nudge* Know what I mean? Ehh. Ehh. You, and Count Paris? *wink wink* The biggest event in your life? *nudge nudge* Ehh. Can I COUNT on you? *wink*

Juliet: FOR GODS SAKE, MOTHER! AT LEAST LET ME SEE HIM FIRST. THEN I'LL SAY YES. Jesus christ...

[william-shakespeare-official]

.. to be or not to be mr willie shakesp?

that is the question indeed.

[happilyhadesbound]

i would like to remind everyone that Shall I Compare Thee to a Summer's Day was written for the Earl of Southampton

[leseigneurdufeu]

the internet would be so much less toxic if instead of standard anon hate people would send anon shakespearian curse.

"my wounds bleed afresh to see that disastrous take. what dark magician conjured you fiend in that discourse???"

"thou art unfit for any place but hell" instead of "kys"

"out of my sight! thou dost infect my eyes!" instead of "blocked!"

[brilledcheese]

Banquo be like:

my three girlfriends. and YES they prophesy the death of the king of scotland

[bychertryntheatyr]

Oh, flowers are beautiful, great are those plants. See this specimen here? Makes you shit your pants! - Friar Lawrence

[william-shakespeare-official]

when do you intend to release your next work?

wouldn't you like to know weatherboy

[happilyhadesbound]

i just texted someone the words 'forcefem hamlet', in case you were wondering how my life was going