#shaker? I hardly know her!

[heart-shaped-pupa]

Clockblocker put on paperwork duty for a week because every time Piggot mentions a power classification he mutters “Breaker? I hardly know her!” to Kid Win

[luckytiggertalia]

Named, but Nameless

1.2k homelander x reader, sfw, fluff, headcanons about his birth name, a canon conversation between my oc and homelander written in an x reader format, she/her reader

Gaining such a strong connection with another human, after Madelyn, was something Homelander was convinced would never happen again nor would he ever try again. The fragility of human life and the strength of a supe never mixed well. Like water and oil, so close and yet always separate. Life and love didn't care about that, though. Life and love were the reciprocating shakers, vibrating and agitating the oil and water until they were as incorporated as possible. 

His couch was the shaker, and his knee was doing the shaking, bouncing up and down in rhythmic thumps. The foreign feeling of tightness in his chest overwhelmed him. He was a God. Why the hell was he feeling all these human emotions? What reason did he have to be so anxious? Beside him was nothing more than his mortal. He was stronger than her. He was braver than her. He could do anything and everything she couldn't. So why couldn't he respond to one simple question?

"Answer me.. please. Are you okay?" she said after concluding that he would stay silent. Her voice was laced with worry, with her brows knitted together. "Homelander?"

His supe name rolled off her tongue so deliciously, despite the name being admittedly bulky. Her voice carried that name through his every vein and artery, but the tightness in his chest remained. That was his name. He was Homelander. And yet, after gaining such a connection to her, the name felt… wrong. Perhaps it was the cliché of superheroes to have secret identities. Starlight had one, "Annie" they called her. Black Noir did, too, "Earving". Was his name worthy of being a secret identity?

"Homelander?" she repeated, speaking more sternly. She reached out to him, placing her hand over his bouncing knee, knowing all too well that she couldn't still it.

"John.." he said, his voice hushed.

"John?" she repeated.

Homelander grimaced, hearing her say it. This was a mistake. He said it too impulsively, and now it was too late to take it back. 

"J.. John. It's my birth name. Use it. If you want, I mean." The uncertainty in his voice made him sick. He sounded so pathetic, so unsure, so human. 

She didn't speak, instead just trying to read his expression. The silence sickened him. Was she judging him for his name? Was the name too simple or boring for her? He had never exactly told a partner his real name. They always seemed to just find out, whether by accident or by snooping. He had hoped being the one to tell this lover his name would feel liberating. Oh, how wrong he was. This felt suffocating. This felt like his identity was being forced upon him. This felt like that damned cage he was kept in as a child. John. John Doe. Named, but nameless. A science experiment with no sense of self. Only pain. Torment. Abuse. 

"Do you want me to call you that?" her voice rang out, presumably noticing how uncomfortably he stirred from her silence. 

He opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it again. Her knowing and using his assigned name was supposed to be the next step, and yet he wanted to say "no". Needed to say "no". 

"It's okay if you don't want me to, baby. I'm okay with just calling you Homelander."

His brow furrowed as he groaned, slamming his hands on the couch and forcing himself to his feet.

"No! No, you aren't… you aren't fucking getting it!" Homelander paced, his hand up near his mouth as he chewed on the leather of his crimson glove. "It isn't enough. 'Homelander' isn't enough! Everyone calls me that… Everyone uses that name. It's not special!" He hardly knew if he was making any sense to her. He wasn't even making any sense to himself. He knew he had no reason to get upset or frustrated because of something as trivial as a name, and yet he couldn't help it. He felt like a child. 

"Sweetheart, hey. It's alright. Let me try and understand, okay? Come here," she beckoned, arms opened and inviting. 

His teeth sunk harshly into the leather, his pacing slowing down as he glanced toward her. He stood still before going to reclaim his spot beside her, leaning into her warmth with his nose pressing into her neck. 

"Alright… So no 'John', and 'Homelander' isn't special enough. We could go with a nickname? I've used 'Homie' in the past. How about that one?"

The vibrations of her throat and the sound of her calmly beating heart soothed his unease. Always a problem solver, this one. The world would be damned if she ever couldn't find a solution to something.

"No… I like 'Homie', but it's still not special enough. I… I guess I want something more private. Just for us."

"Ah, I see." 

Silence again, but this time he knew she was just thinking. He didn't speak either, curious to see what his partner would come up with. She often surprised him with her ideas and suggestions and he hoped she would surprise him here, too. 

She broke the silence, "How about… Johnny? It is close to ‘John’, but far enough away to be special, and private, of course.”

The corner of his lip quirked in surprise. "Johnny?" he repeated, lifting his head off her shoulder. He had to fight back the smile forcing its way onto his lips. 

"Yeah! Johnny. I think it's cute, personally."

Homelander bit the inside of his cheek, averting his eyes all while turning his head away from her. That smile won and sat plastered across his lips. Hearing her say it again made a warmth blossom from his chest and spread to his every extremity. He could feel the blood rushing to his cheeks. It wasn't any spectacular nickname at all, rather common really, and yet it sat with him. The tightness and anxiety he had felt was quickly forgotten. 

"I mean, we can try it," he said with an attempt at sounding indifferent. He leaned back against the couch, head still turned away from her.

His response earned a small laugh from her, "We'll try it, then." He heard her leaning closer and saw her hand coming around out of his peripheral. Soft and tender, her hands held his face as if he were a fragile, porcelain doll. She turned his head to look at her, her eyes filled with nothing but affection and love for him. They stared deep into the blues of his own. Instinctively, his head leaned deeper into her hold, lips centimeters away from her palm.

"I love you, Johnny…" 

That…

It rolled off her tongue, her lips… It glided through the air like a feather. His eyes grew wider and softer, lips parting as he took it all in. Her voice echoed throughout his psyche. He latched onto the soundwaves, never wanting to forget how beautiful her words sounded. His mind felt numb and he felt a high he’d never experienced before. He felt lightheaded in the best way possible. All that combined with the softness and love in her eyes made him feel as if he would faint right in her arms. He leaned deeper into her touch, reaching a hand up to press hers harder into his cheek. He kissed her palm, lips smiling against her skin. 

I love you, Johnny…

"I love you too, my darling…"

[writingboutbrainrot]

All of Me Loaves All of You [ch1]

[ch0 | NOW ON A03]

A month or so after Logan started working at the restaurant, Louise had a date with Regular-Sized Rudy. They were going for a nice dinner and some fancy show, so she’d dressed appropriately. She’d put on a nice mid-length dress and had let Linda do her hair in light waves. With this and a light application of makeup, she thought she looked very grown up. Absolutely not the kid Logan obviously still thought she was.

Not that she’d been trying to catch his attention as she walked down to the restaurant. She was just going to say goodbye to her dad. Before she went on a romantic date with her boyfriend. Her age appropriate boyfriend who she enjoyed being with.

Logan was wiping tables when she came in, and hardly spared a glance in her direction. She stiffly marched past him and into the kitchen where Bob was frying Teddy’s last burger of the night.

“How do I look?” she asked, spinning in the doorway. Bob looked up and grinned.

“You look nice sweetie.”

“Hey, hey Louise! Did your little friend say where he was taking you? Is it that new place on 4th?” Teddy called out from lobby side.

Sharing a look with Bob and trying not to laugh, Louise shrugged. “He didn’t tell me Teddy, but he should be here soon.”

After giving her dad a hug and being shooed out of the kitchen so she wouldn’t see his tears from his baby girl growing up, Louise managed to knock a salt shaker over on one of the clean booths.

“Hey Logan you missed a spot,” the still very childish young lady called to her coworker. From across the building she watched as Logan’s head shot up to glare at her. It was hard for her to keep a straight face as he moved from the front counter, death glaring with a wet rag in hand, past her to the salty booth. Alright, she didn’t keep a straight face. She had a very cheeky grin on her face. She was allowed to, she’d just inconvenienced her rival and he let it show. 

“Careful Four Ears, bad luck spilling salt,” he said in a warning tone. He was still getting back in the swing of dishing what he took, and Louise had been only moderately patient with our calm he could be now. This was one of those times, she decided as she shrugged in response.

“Bring it, I say.”

There, now he’s seen me for sure, Louise’s invasive thoughts gloated. She grimaced at her own mind as she took a seat next to Teddy. The two of them talked, well mostly Teddy talked and she nodded, until the bell above the door gave a little ring. Nobody had to look up to know who it was at this hour, so it wasn’t a surprise when Louise heard Rudy call out a greeting to the usual restaurant habitants. 

Louise was quick to stand and call out a general goodbye to ensure Teddy wouldn’t get Rudy caught in a trap of politely listening to him go on about the new place on 4th. When she made it to the door Rudy made sure to compliment her attire and leaned in to give her a kiss on the cheek. Normally she didn’t allow any PDA, but tonight something in her brain frizzled and she let it happen. 

Her eyes darted to Logan immediately after, but he was walking toward them with a bro-like grin on his face. Very much not bothered by the younger two in love, Logan gave Regular-Sized Rudy a good natured clasp on his shoulder.

“Hey, make sure she doesn’t get you arrested man. And make sure she’s back by midnight or she’ll turn into a cantaloupe,” he teased before dodging a predictable jab from the girl in question.

“Don’t worry she’ll be back in one piece,” the younger man assured. He then held his arm out for Louise to take, like a gentleman. She stuck her tongue out at Logan as she left, holding on to her boyfriend.

-x-x-x-

That was the night Rudy said he was going to travel abroad in Europe for the year for whatever he wanted to do in his life. Louise wouldn’t know, she didn’t stay long enough to hear. Choosing to, for once, not make a scene she’d just told her regular-sized beau to have fun, that it was over, and walked home.

And so 9 o’clock saw a puffy eyed Louise back at her door and up the stairs. Though it would’ve been so easy to go straight to her room without anyone noticing, Bob’s laughter from the living room drew her away from promising solitude. She knew her dad wouldn’t ask her what was wrong if she went to sit and asked for a burn unit. Unfortunately she didn’t wait long enough to hear someone else make a joke about whatever was on tv. This is how Louise found herself standing at the edge of the living room, ready to turn around when she saw Logan sitting on the couch with Bob and checking his watch.

“Dang Four Ears you didn’t scare him off did y-” The taunt was cut short as the blonde looked up and saw the blotchiness that was surely all over Louise’s face. The girl watched numbly as he nudged Bob before standing up.

“Louise are you okay?” the Belcher patriarch asked as Logan excused himself to the kitchen.

The heat that radiated off the blonde as he brushed by almost caused her to break down. 

But this was Louise Belcher, and Louise Belcher doesn’t cry over any boy. Not Rudy, who was running off to explore Europe and probably himself. Not Logan, who felt almost like an entirely different person than the snot nosed punk who’d bounced her own energy back at her in their youth. And not her father, who she had been counting on to not break the battered dam of emotions welling up inside her. No. Louise Belcher doesn’t cry over any boy or anything. Louise Belcher sits on her decrepit couch and stares in the direction of the tv, not quite taking in whatever schlock was on at 9 p.m.

And so Louise walked quietly to the stain-covered couch and did just that. Ignoring the prickling near her eyes and the tears she dared to try to spill out.

She had just started to relax when Logan came back with three mugs of hot chocolate. Two were set on the coffee table and Logan took the other one with him to the armchair, where he continued to try not to look at the girl who was known for not liking to share certain emotions.

Louise stared at the steaming cup of her favorite drink and felt her heart try to bust out of her ribs. From anyone else she would call this a comforting gesture, but from her nemesis a hot drink in summer was obviously something to make her overheat and get sick. It almost made her smile. Almost. Her voice was still monotone when she scoffed.

“It’s the middle of summer and, like, a million degrees, dipshit.”

 Logan didn’t turn to look at her, but she could still see him roll his eyes.

“Actually it’s 67 tonight, so hush or I’ll drink yours too,” he quipped back. Louise let out an offended gasp and immediately moved to pick up her mug. The movement must’ve been enough to catch the blonde’s peripheral, because Louise looked to see him smiling now. It wasn’t the usual smarmy smirk he had when winning an argument between them. It was genuine, and it made Louise forget that she’d been upset. She took a breath.

“Rudy’s going to Europe for a year,” she finally announced. Bob looked a little surprised.

“Oh uh, ar-are you guys going to keep in touch? That’s dumb of me to ask of course you-”

“I broke up with him,” Louise interrupted, voice small.

“Dooo you think you’re going to try to patch things up before he goes?” her dad asked. Louise shrugged and put her mug back on the table.

“I didn’t yell at him, so maybe.” She wasn’t so certain in the moment, that that’s what she wanted. Rudy knew her, maybe they both knew it was time to move on but weren’t sure how. High school sweethearts rarely make it too far, statistically. 

A hand resting on her shoulder broke Louise out of her thoughts, and she looked to see Bob give her an encouraging smile. She smiled back in silent thanks before the three of them commenced the burn unit. For once, she wasn’t upset at sharing her favorite dad-tivity with someone else. When Logan didn’t make a good burn, Louise turned against him and reveled in his fake-hurt gasps or whatever quip he shot back.

The end of the night saw Louise still on the couch, a blanket wrapped around her as she fell asleep leaning on Bob. At some point he got up to join Linda in bed, and let Logan know he was welcome to crash in Gene’s room like always. Bob was very careful in making sure his little girl was carefully laid back down, with a pillow in his place. 

It wasn’t until a while later, when Logan left the armchair to clean up and go to Gene’s room, that Louise somewhat woke up. Everything was hazy as she saw what she thought was her dad move past her, seeing only the legs, and she reached out to grab his pant leg.

“Dad, can you get Kuchi Kopi please?” she asked groggily. Anything after that was a blur as Louise passed out again immediately and was surprised to find the Kuch in her embrace when she woke up the next morning.

She did not patch things up with Rudy until he got back the next year. Just as friends.

[ ch2 ]

[breezybangtanbebe]

💭💕Daddies💕💭 Monsta X OT7

Topic: Random scenarios where the reader is pregnant with one of the member's babies and simple daily interactions with them as soon-to-be fathers. Pretty fluffy.

5.1k words

enjoy🥰

Shownu

Sweat dripped from his brow as he whisked the batter feverishly with a scowl on his face. A mess of eggshells, flour, and dirty utensils crowded the kitchen island and you did your best not to crack a smile as you watched your husband struggle.

He was the one who insisted on making your pancakes from scratch despite having premade mix in the cabinet.

And you were FORBIDDEN from helping him.

Not for a lack of trying though...

"Can I help you with something?" you asked for the first time since perching yourself on the kitchen island bar stool.

Hyunwoo shakes his head emphatically before shooting you a warning look through his brow.

"You can stop asking me that. That would help.." he grumbles. In the process, he splatters a goop of batter up into his face. Your eyes widen with concern and you hop down from your seat to go to him, swiping a few paper towels on the way.

Hyunwoo's crinkled features remain as one of his eyes is screwed shut and covered with pancake batter that you quickly begin wiping away.

"Hold still" you chuckle as you go to work cleaning his face and as he's slowly freed of the mess he made of himself, your husband's eyes warm as he gazed down at you softly.

You're too distracted at first to notice him looking at you the way he was. But when you did, you froze with the paper towel resting between your hand and his jawline.

"What?" you frown and Hyunwoo smirks dazedly before reaching up to caress your hand against his face.

"I just wanted to do something special for you..." he mutters.

"Both of you," he adds, resting his hand over your flat tummy.

You weren't showing at all yet but you could feel every bit of pregnant as the weeks passed. You'd been suffering horribly and had even lost some weight due to the morning sickness. So when your appetite finally returned, Hyunwoo jumped at the opportunity to feed you something he knew he couldn't screw up.

Despite him already being an exceptional cook, he wanted to make this breakfast perfect for you.

If only he knew how perfect he already was.

Wonho

You didnt think there would be such a thing as being too prepared until you got pregnant.

3 weeks out from your due date and Hoseok had everything prepared down to a T.

Every bag was packed and waiting in the car. The car seat is perfectly assembled. The baby's room is fully safety-proofed and equipped with monitors.

All of her clothes and toys had been washed and sanitized more than once and at this point, all there was left to do was have the baby.

Should be easy right?

"Hoseok....what is this?" you smirked down at the printed stack of papers you found in your overnight bag.

Your husband was in the kitchen, grasping his shaker bottle in one hand and dumping his measured supplements in with the other.

Such simple movements made the beautifully sculpted muscles in his forearms flex subtly, making you stare.

It was hard not feeling like a potato in the presence of such a specimen, now especially since he'd been training for some fitness thing. You didn't know. It was always something with him.

Wearing his favorite baggy Jordan Tee with the sleeves cut and loose gym shorts that stopped just above his knees, Hoseok turns to you. Through his glasses, he squints his eyes pointlessly to see what you were referring to.

"Oh....our birth plan," he responds casually before proceeding to twist the bottle's cap on tightly. As he begins shaking it vigorously, you approach him in the kitchen.

"Baby....this is almost 20 pages long. The birth plan I filled out was hardly a page." You furrowed your brow. Hoseok mirrored your expression briefly at your confusion, pushing back his dark brown bangs away from his forehead.

"And you thought one page would be enough..." he grunts, still shaking his bottle.

Your gaze catches on his chest muscles, noticing how they too flexed with every movement. Then you looked down at your swollen chest and vaguely wonder which one of you was bigger.

"Um....yeah. All I need them to know is that I want a vaginal birth with drugs and drugs and lots of drugs." You tear your eyes away from your husband's pecs and look up at his equally distracting face with a smile.

Hoseok smirks down at you and shakes his head. He seems satisfied with the mixture of his protein shake and pops the small drinking cap open to tip it against his lips to take a hefty sip.

As he swallowed you winced slightly at the sharp little nudges in your ribcage. You let out a tiny groan with a sharp inhale and Hoseok immediately pulls the bottle from his mouth, dribbles of his shake dripping down his chin as he set it aside. His eyes are wide with concern and his large hands instinctively touch your belly.

"What's wrong? What happened? Is it a contraction? Are they constant? Are they close? Are you.."

"Hoseok! Shut up. She's just kicking me." you interrupt him, rolling your eyes.

Seeming to feel her father's presence from deep in the womb, the baby begins kicking and squirming beneath Hoseok's hands. Though increasingly uncomfortable and unamusing for you, Hoseok's eyes sparkle with wonder and love. This huge hulk of a man with such a disciplined and organized manner is melted instantly by this tiny little human growing inside of you.

He smiles but it fades from elation to melancholy when the only thought that had been plaguing him for months makes an unwanted appearance.

"I just....want to be ready for her. You're already doing the hardest part of all of this so...I don't know. I guess I'm overcompensating. I just wanna be enough..." Hoseok admits unexpectedly.

You'd known since you both first found out you were pregnant that he was scared, but you never thought it stemmed from his doubt of himself.

You sigh.

"First of all...I don't think there is a man on this planet more prepared for this baby than you are. Secondly.." you pause to reach up and caress Hoseok's cheek, turning his head so that he could look you in the eye.

"You're more than enough. Never doubt that."

Your words seem to placate him since he only nods in response. You could tell from the shine in his eyes that he was on the brink of getting emotional, something you wished he didn't try so hard to suppress.

But you opt for not pressing an issue unnecessarily in favor of redirecting to the original topic at hand.

"Now...about this long-ass birth plan...."

Minhyuk

"Yah! Watch you're going!" Minhyuk shouts at the bike rider as he swerved around the space where you and he were walking. The city boardwalk is crowded more than usual due to the time of day and Minhyuk insisted on getting the ice cream to go because of it. But you wanted to watch the sky change colors as you enjoyed your cone with his fingers intertwined with yours lovingly.

His grip disappears when he placed his arm across your belly protectively, his venomous glare pinning the helmeted young man as he passed. You frown mid-lick at the way Minhyuk's body turns completely to watch the biker continue on his way to weave through the other pedestrians in the opposite direction.

"Fucking assholes.." he mutters, turning to face forward again. He grabs your hand instinctively and falls back into a steady stride, his expression still crinkled in a scowl. You smirked as you resumed licking your ice cream, admiring your boyfriend's attractive jawline and profile. Feeling your eyes on him, Minhyuk glances over with a frown.

"What?"

You shrug passively, shaking your head.

"Nothing..nothing...you just seem a little on edge is all.." you remark.

"On edge?? He almost hit us! I told you we should have just gone home. There are too many people out here..." he grumbles. The way his lips pouted when he fussed always made you smile and you did so freely as you shook your head again.

"Babe... there are people everywhere," you mutter dismissively as you licked the shrinking scoop.

"We can't avoid them any more than we can avoid anything else. What happened to you? You used to love the boardwalk" you shrug and Minhyuk scoffs.

"We absolutely could avoid them. And I like the boardwalk alright but not when it's so crowded and unsafe."

"Unsafe? For who?" you giggle.

"Unsafe for you! Duh...I don't know, it seems like ever since your belly started growing you just became a beacon for mishaps. A magnet for disaster. It's exhausting.." he huffs.

Your eyes couldn't roll back far enough at that. The irony was as amusing as it was annoying. Minhyuk had always been the overly adventurous type and that was part of what made you fall in love with him.

He was so funny and charismatic and spontaneous. You never knew what he was going to say or do. Especially when the two of you were alone.

But since you'd been pregnant, you sensed a shift in him.

"You act like I'm made of glass because I'm pregnant. You're not as mindful of me when we have sex..." you perk your brow, knowing fully that Minhyuk would look over at you at your bold statement. When you were sure that he was, you swiftly look away to admire the scenery, smirking mischievously like as you licked away at your dessert.

The sun was about an hour away from setting, gracing everyone in the beams of the golden hour where every complexion glowed. You especially since you were creeping into your second trimester, where your energy, appetite, and overall beauty enhanced since feeling like death a few weeks prior.

Minhyuk's eyes narrowed at you while you pointedly avoided his gaze, slurping the dribbling ice cream from the side of the cone mindlessly. Then he smiles when a less than innocent thought is sparked in his mind and he suddenly wants nothing more than to pick up the pace back to where their car was parked to get you home.

Kihyun

"Ooooh...right there. Right there...ugh yes.."

The shameless sounds of you groaning filled the family room, scattered with toys and baskets of unfolded clean laundry. Both happily abandoned by you since your husband walked in and forced you onto your back against the couch.

As your breath quickened, Kihyun only nods in acknowledgment as he obeyed your commands.

"Right there?" He exhales, quirking his brow with the question.

"Yep, there. Harder, babe. Harder. That's the spot." You nod harshly, screwing up your features in a wince as Kihyun smirked.

"Like this?" He asks, looking up at you and you nod fervently.

The tension in your expression melts away as does the stiffness in your feet, being expertly rubbed and kneaded away by your husband.

You were sprawled out on the couch with your feet resting in Kihyun's lap from where he sat opposite of you. His hands moved like a harpist over their strings, strumming away the pain and massaging the swelling down that had been torturing you for days.

Pregnancy sucks and you had no idea why you continued to put yourself through it. The discomfort and sickness were unbearable. The stress it put your body under was unimaginable. And the lasting effects it left on you physically and mentally were aggravating and inevitable.

But then you think of the joy you feel every time you look into your son's and daughter's eyes and remember it's all worth it. Especially when you watched Kihyun interact with them. He loved kids and would always joke with you about how he couldn't wait to have you at home barefoot and pregnant all the time when you first got married.

And he didnt lie.

Year two, a girl.

Year four, a boy.

And though you werent aware of this baby's gender, wanting it to be a surprise, you know one damn thing was for sure.

This baby was gonna be the LAST ONE.

No ifs, ands, or powdered infant butts. Kihyun's dream of 5 children would have to include 3 humans and a dog and a goldfish or something because this was for the birds.

You were putting your foot down this time.

Speaking of feet...

Kihyun switches his tactic and grasps the sole of your foot between both of his thumbs and forefingers. He begins pressing hard into a particular spot with his thumbs with just the right amount of pressure that has your head falling back against the propped couch pillow.

"How's that baby?"

You whimper slightly, making Kihyun smirk with accomplishment as he continued rubbing at your foot.

He got a kick out of pampering you like this, feeling like it was the least he could do since you did so much for your family as is.

Maintaining the home. Being proactive in parenting the two older children and being the supportive and patient wife that Kihyun never dreamed of having. He'd been a tad insufferable when it came to him wanting more children and you reluctantly compromised with him after deciding this would be the final pregnancy.

He'd do anything to show you his appreciation and if that meant coming home on his 2-hour lunch break just to massage your body and have some alone time while the kids were in school...

He'd happily do it every day if it meant making you smile.

Hyungwon

"I'm a fucking orca..."

Hyungwon furrows his brow as he lifted his gaze from his book. He turns his head to spot you standing in front of the body-sized mirror mounted on the wall in your bedroom, turning your body sideways to assess how you looked in the dress you planned on wearing to your cousin's wedding.

A dress you'd bought long before discovering you and your husband would be expecting. You were surprised it stretched so well over your large 7-month-old baby bump but it stopped just below the cup of your ass cheeks.

There was no way you were wearing this.

Hyungwon pushes his glasses to sit low on the bridge of his nose and he watches you spiral into despair at your changed appearance.

Sure the dress was a tad short in the back thanks to the extra ass and hips you'd acquired over the months but Hyungwon loved your body.

He couldn't get enough of touching and appreciating the curves that were brought on by carrying his son. He would tell you every second how gorgeous you still were if you didn't get so offended by it.

So he just sits quietly and weighs his options on whether or not to say anything as you brought yourself to the brink of tears.

"I'm never gonna find something cute that'll fit in time. The wedding is in a week and I look like fucking Shamu..." your chin trembled.

Hyungwon rolls his eyes as he stood, tossing both his glasses and his book on the nightstand. You were too distracted to notice his approach and you flinch in surprise when you felt him behind you.

Hyungwon was tall, hovering over you by at least 6 inches as he joined you at the mirror. Your tearful gaze locks with his as he stooped his head down to rest it against the side of yours, wrapping his long arms around your shoulders in a gentle embrace. A tiny huff escaped you, making your chin tremble and Hyungwon smiled fondly at how pitifully adorable you were. He leans back slightly to get a closer look at your body and the way the creme-colored dress stretched uncomfortably over your ass and hips, the zipper barely up halfway to the middle of your back. As he fiddled with the dangling zipper experimentally, he murmurs softly to you.

"Now baby...I'm going to say something and I want you to listen to me, ok?"

His deep voice was always so calming, even when it was hard to tell whether or not he was being serious. You nod slowly in acknowledgment.

"This dress is a little....well let's say you've outgrown it. But all isn't lost. The wedding isn't for another 7 days so that gives us plenty of time to find you a new one. A better one in fact." he suggests confidently. His sure tone irritates you a bit for some reason and you mentally stomped your foot like a child.

"Noooo...That's not enough time. And have you seen the selection in the maternity section? I'd rather chance it and wear this vs spending money on what they have to offer there."

"Why don't you just try to find the same dress, but in a bigger size. It's only tight around your bottom half...If it was just a size or two bigger..." Hyungwon begins thoughtfully and your pout deepens.

"That dress doesn't come in a size bigger than this. I looked...I'm just fat." you deadpanned. In the mirror, Hyungwon visibly struggles not to laugh at your smugness and he bites down on his smile before schooling his features to seem more engaged.

"Ok well let's just not go." he shrugs.

"We can send her our gift and tell her you weren't feeling well. You're pregnant, she'd understand."

That suggestion wasn't plausible either and you roll your eyes.

"I can't miss her wedding Wonnie. She came to ours...I have to be there. You know what? Forget it...I'll just go to the store tomorrow and try my luck with the ugly dresses in the pregnant people section and try to make it work."

The amount of disappointment and defeat in your town automatically wipes any potential smirk from Hyungwon's face immediately and he watches you begin to pull the straps of the dress over your shoulder. He steps back and looks on wordlessly as you struggled to grasp the zipper behind your back and he offers a hand.

As the zipper traveled down the line of your spine slowly, Hyungwon tilts his head as he got lost in the perfect luster of your skin.

Though this was your first baby, Hyungwon would gladly get you pregnant again and again if it mean he got to see your body change and perform the wonders it was already doing. He loved the way your breasts swelled and spilled slightly over the cups of your bra. He loved the way your hips expanded and the way it forced you to walk now. He loved the curve of your silhouette, your perfectly round belly and ass that was much bigger than it was before.

He loved to squeeze you when you slept, roving his hands over every inch of your silky smooth skin that you would allow. He was addicted to you, there was no other way to put it. Not even going into how amazing the sex was with you in this phase of life.

The distraction of the mere thought is written all over Hyungwon's face in the mirror and you raise your brow at him stalling with the zipper stopped just above your tailbone.

"Hyungwon..." you summon his attention and his sultry bedroom eyes drag over your body to stop on your reflection. He smirks mischievously before biting his lip, lifting his brows to answer.

"Hmm?.."

You smiled at his obliviously distracted expression, your drying tears seeming silly now that you were brought back into the present.

The world wasn't over. You would find a new dress and your fine ass husband would be beside you through any other minor crises that inspired your hormones to make you overreact. Looking as unphased as he was handsome every single time.

Heavy on the handsome. Tall and broad-shouldered. Lean and muscular. Pillowy soft lips and strong hands.

Damn.

Suddenly, your mood takes a drastic turn in a new direction.

Without responding to his wordless question, you finished peeling the tight dress from your body. Knowing you were completely nude underneath it, you kept your eyes on your husband's dazed face as you shimmied the garment down your thick thighs and calves until it hits the floor.

Hyungwon stares shamelessly at your body from behind, his tongue sneaking over the corner of his mouth hungrily with a smirk.

Crisis averted.

Jooheon

His hands feel warm and comforting as they glide over your protruding belly mindlessly. It was early, the sun had barely risen, and the two of you are lying comfortably in your shared bed.

Jooheon is the big spoon, a new role he'd taken up since your baby bump had grown to the point where spooning him wasn't plausible. But neither of you minded the change.

His breathing is slow and warm against your nape, his bare chest pressed against your back. Both of you are silent, apart from your breathing and you eventually drift back to sleep with the rhythm of your lover's gentle fingers strumming over your skin.

"Baby..." Jooheon whispers from behind you but you don't respond, only snoring softly as sleep reclaimed you. The sound is soothing to him, knowing that if you were still and at rest that his daughter would be wide awake.

As if to confirm what he already knew, a tiny foot presses up from within your womb. The little boop taps the center of Jooheon's palm and he smiled sleepily as he kept his hand where it was.

The baby continued to squirm and nudge through your torso, making you grumble softly in discomfort in your sleep. Jooheon takes note of your reaction and his face goes from being smitten to concern.

"Hey.." his deep voice croons softly, his authoritative tone directed at the flouncing fetus.

"Stop hurting your mama, little girl." He commands, pressing gently at the small lump sticking up from the side of your belly. 

The baby recoils her little foot and seems to obey his words since he didn't feel her moving anymore as he too allowed himself to drift back into a deep and wonderful sleep.

Life is but a dream...

Changkyun

"Anything yet?" were the words you heard through the bathroom door for the third time in the past 30 seconds.

That was how long it had been since you peed on the digital pregnancy test.

Your leg bounced nervously as you sat over the lid of the toilet, holding the test in your hands and staring at the tiny results screen.

The hourglass continues to blink as your anxiety increases and Changkyun's nervous pace is all you could hear outside of your foot tapping feverishly against the bathroom floor.

"Nothing yet." were the words he heard through his side of the door in the hallway.

His work boots tapped heavily against the hardwood floors and his car keys still jingled in his pocket. He hadn't taken the time to get settled since he returned from the store with the bag full of different pregnancy tests.

The convenience store clerk tried their best to keep their expression neutral when ringing them up, surely wondering why he was buying so many. But Changkyun didn't care.

He wanted to be sure.

Thousands of thoughts rush through his head as he paced, carrying several emotions with them.

Fear. Confusion. Anxiety. Excitement.

A disconcerted combination.

The two of you had been together for a little over a year and the thought of becoming parents was terrifying. You were both so young and had so much more to experience together as a couple. How the hell was a baby going to affect that?

He had a decent job and you were fresh out of college, set to accept an offer from a good company. The money wouldn't be an issue but Changkyun couldn't help but fear what he had to contribute wouldn't be enough.

His father was absent for the majority of his life and he couldn't bear the idea of being anything like him. But he still felt doubtful of his ability to be a dad worth having.

Would he be good enough?

Would you look at him differently if he wasn't? Would he lose you?

Both of you?

The bathroom door suddenly opening nearly shocks the ghost from Changkyun's body and he freezes mid-stride at the sight of you in the doorway.

Your eyes were swollen and red from tears but your expression is blank as he approached you.

"What...what's wrong? What does it say?" he asks, his brow etched with concern. You sigh shakily before lifting the capped blue and white test to hand it to him tentatively.

Changkyun takes it and stares down at the black pixelated text on the tiny gray screen. You watched warily as his expression melted from his soft worried scowl to something less readable.

He looks up at you.

He looks back down at the test.

Then something unexpected happens.

He smiles.

"We...we're gonna have a baby?"

You nod cautiously at him, unsure of what this reaction meant.

Mainly because you'd spent that entire time in the bathroom alone telling yourself that this was it.

This would be the end of your relationship with the one man that genuinely made you feel safe. The two of you hadn't had a serious conversation about children and you knew of his complicated childhood. Changkyun was the type of man who would step up and do what was right regardless and while that should have brought you comfort, a part of you felt guilty.

Because you knew whether he wanted a baby with you or not, he would stay because his father didn't.

The conflict in your expression has Changkyun's smile faltering slowly.

"You're upset.." he states off of observation and you wanted to kick yourself for letting your thoughts read across your face.

"No!...well..maybe. I feel a lot of things, to be honest.." you stammered. Changkyun's eyes dart between your face and the pregnancy test still in his hand.

"Yeah...me too."

You kept your eyes on him, gauging his mood before responding.

"Exactly how..do you feel?" You draw out the question because you weren't sure if you really wanted to ask it.

What if he was shocked and that was why he smiled?

What if he's actually upset and just doesn't want to show it?

What if he doesn't want this to happen? What would you do?

The questions spun in your mind, triggering a pestering ache to swell in your chest.

Changkyun is quiet for a moment as he considered the words and you watched him worriedly as they gathered on his tongue.

"I feel......happy. And scared shitless. But happy. Is that...weird?" He asks.

That was when you smiled despite the tears in your eyes. Damn hormones were already kicking your ass. You shake your head emphatically at his question, a small wave of relief washing over you.

"It's not weird. I honestly feel the same way..shocked even. So...you're not upset?"

"No! Babe, why would you think I'd be upset?" He asks and you shrug your shoulders, already feeling weepy again.

"I don't know...maybe because this is unexpected and the timing isn't really ideal for either of us. You're working hard and I haven't started working yet myself. Our apartment isn't big enough and we barely have room for our stuff..." you were beginning to ramble, wiping tears mindlessly as they fell.

"We never talked about this seriously and I'm not even sure this is something you want with me. And we had plans to do so much...I just feel guilty and stupid for letting this happen.."

Changkyun lets you talk until your emotions jumble the words too much to understand and he sighs as he reaches out to cup your cheek.

"Hey, look at me." He coaxes and you go silent, sniffling aside, and look him straight in the eye.

"That's what you're worried about? Me not wanting this baby with you? Seriously?"

You weren't sure how to respond with words so you merely shrugged sullenly.

Changkyun rolls his eyes and pulls you into him, forcing you to bury your face into his chest. He was warm and smelled heavenly as usual even though he was fresh off from work.

He keeps the pregnancy test tucked between his fingers as he held you tightly in his embrace, resting his cheek against your forehead.

"And here I was worried that you would feel that way about me...." He murmurs.

You huffed and sniffled against his heartbeat, squeezing him with your arms wrapped around his waist.

"I can't imagine myself having a baby with anyone else Kyunie..." you manage to say after a beat and Changkyun smiles against your skin. He lifts his head to plant a kiss on your hairline then pulls back to grab you by the cheeks, effectively pouting your lips for him to kiss.

The smooch was sweet and chaste, but just enough to have your eyes fluttering slightly. When the blur of your tears is blinked away, you find Changkyun's gorgeous features inches from yours.

"Good. So let's both make a pact right now to stop doubting each other's dedication to the other and start changing some of our plans, ok?" He lifts his brows in expectance of your answer. Instantly the pain in your chest fades and the meaning behind the newly sprung tears changes.

You nod up at him and smile warmly.

"Ok."

A/N: Awww, that was fun to write. I hope yall enjoy them a lil in between the hard hitting smutty stuff. I'll most likely do more of these if the scenarios come to mind. Feel free to suggest any if you'd like.

[salllzy]

Sal's snippets #13 part 1 (hidden in the shadows #5 part 1)

Black drool dripped on the floor as Alastor snarled at them, his giant teeth were on display as he kept his fawn close to him. His precious, sweet fawn. His fawn that they were trying to take away from him. "Dad." The soft sigh and gentle hands that cupped his face had the snarl dying as he turned his attention to her. "Martha and Margret will be back soon and I would like to continue cooking." A growl broke free as he listened to her words, before he could shadow them away to somewhere else, two sheep demonesses appeared. Each one of them holding a bag. "Excellent, can you put it down on the table?" Both of them nodded their heads and did as they were asked before they left the kitchen to return to their normal duties, they knew that they weren't going to be seeing their boss anytime soon. Sarah wiggled in her dad's grip, eventually, he got the message and placed her on the floor. His giant hulking form made sure that no one could see her, Sarah kept her attention on cooking and made sure that her dad could see her at all times. So she did what she always did when he got like this she talked while she cooked. "So I was thinking that I could make a venison roast to go with the sauce, didn't have enough time to go to the butchers so regular meat it is. Also that last batch of sinner meat tasted slightly off, although I don't eat it all the time so it could just be a case of me not being used to it. Can you pass me the salt?" There was a grumble as a giant hand passed the small salt shaker, she took the salt shaker from her dad. "Thank you. Where was I? Ah, yes, I have no idea who keeps the kitchen stocked but there was hardly anything in the cupboards, you'd think that having a royal or two living in it. They would have better food at least, no, all I found was salt, some out-of-date pepper and mouldy spices that I am not touching in this life or the next." She began to chop the vegetables as she moved the knife across the vegetables, she noticed that her dad was shrinking slightly. It wasn't a massive change and nor was it a noticeable one. But it was there. So she continued as she had been. "Anyway, you won't believe the information I have been getting lately. Although I would call it gossip more than anything else. I swear that the citizens of Hell need something better to do." She tossed the chopped vegetables into the pan and began to cook them. She added a knob of butter to the pan. "So Martha told me that Mister McColm, you know the bat demon that likes to peep on me when he thinks that no one is looking? Well, Marath told me that his wife found out and she castrated him at the kitchen table while the rest of the family watched. So I have decided to send the woman a gift basket, she deserves it." She took the pan off the heat and took the vegetables out of the pan and began to plate them. Alastor had begun to shrink to the point that it was noticeable, by now everyone had noticed that he was almost at his normal height and his eyes were slowly turning back to normal. "Work has been horrendous lately, I swear that most demons don't have a brain in their heads and instead use the one between their legs. She began to sear the venison in a hot pan, the meat hissed and began to brown as she seared it. Alastor still towered over his daughter, he took the pan from her hands and gestured for her to sit on a stool. She sighed and shook her head as she sat on the stool. "As much as I love my job, I will admit that there are times that I want to take an angelic bullet to the brain. I swear that what some call important information is just gossip and regurgitated bullshit that has no substance." Two glasses appeared in front of her, and a bottle of whiskey appeared next to them, she wasted no time in opening the bottle and pouring them both a few drams of whiskey.

[hathorneheiress]

Grayson Hawthorne sickfics pt.1

This was a request from @noth1in1g and I am honored to do it.

I am going to switch POVs so I hope it is not to confusing.

Grayson's POV.

My day started like any other day. I wearily climbed out of my plush, king sized bed to my closet in the other room. I was always tired, never seeming to get enough sleep, but I was even more so today.

I pulled a thirty-thousand-dollar, jet black suit from off it's hanger. I slipped into it as easily as most people do a seat shirt and jeans. Going through my usually morning rituals of brushing my teeth, combing my hair, and shaving.

Staring at myself in the over sized mirror in my enormous bathroom, I noticed how red my face looked. I felt hot, which was no surprise since I am always hot. Placing the back of my hand to my burning forehead, I knew I had a fever.

Ignoring my aching limbs and feverish body, I proceeded downstairs to breakfast.

Everyone was already seated in the massive dining room. Hardly hungry, I nevertheless picked a few things and sat down.

Nibbling on a strawberry, I listened as Avery and Jameson talked about what they were planning to do for the day.

"I just know there is more secrets left to be found Heiress. I'm sure they're hidden in the walls."

"Really Jameson. We have checked several times and have found nothing."

"Well I am not giving up."

I drowned out their conversation. Some new mystery to be solved and both were eager to solve it first. They tried to pull me in, but I declined. I was tired of playing the old man's games.

"Are you alright?" Nash's southern drawl brought me back to reality.

"What?" I asked.

"I said are you alright? You don't look to good. Did you get any sleep last night."

I stiffened. I didn't need him babying me. "I'm fine." I replied curtly. Realizing that I wasn't going to eat anymore, I stood to leave. My legs shook and I almost fell back into my chair.

Nash cocked his head to the side. Concern appearing on his face. "Want to rectify that statement little brother?"

I bristled at his words. "No, I do not. I can take care of myself." And with that I left.

I returned to my office to get some work done. Sitting in the chair, I could feel myself getting shaker as time went on. Chills and body aches came with a sudden force. Felling sick to my stomach, I tried to stand, but my legs wouldn't move.

Trying not to panic I tried again to stand. I succeeded. I took a few steps toward the bathroom before my legs went totally out from under me. I fell, with my head banging against the floor. Everything went black.

Nash's POV

I watched as Grayson staggered out of the dining room. He was by no means alright, but I tried to respect his wishes by not interfering. He had always been like that, since he was very young. He didn't need my help. He could take care of himself just fine.

And he could, but he also needed to realize that it's ok to ask for help. Trying not to let it bug me, I joined Libby in the kitchen. For an hour we made and frosted over a hundred cupcakes.

"That was fun." I said, leaning down to give her a kiss.

"It was. We should do it more often."

"Yes." I agreed "we should." She went to go find Avery and I was left alone. My earlier concern for Grayson grew when he hadn't been seen in several hours.

I decided to check on him. Most likely it would end in him getting upset that I had to see how he was doing, but I didn't care. He was my brother and I cared about him.

I made it to his office within minutes. I knocked gently. "Gray? It's me, Nash. Are you doing alright?"

No answer. I knocked again, and then pushed open the door. I heart stopping sight lad before me.

Grayson was sprawled on the ground, still and stiff. Rushing to his side I turned him over. I chill went up my spine when I felt how hot he was. His breathing seemed fine, even though there was a small wound from where he fell.

I swooped him up in my arms, hardly realizing how heavy he actually was. Laying him gently on the soft bed, I quickly undid his collar and then got a cold wash cloth, draping it over his burning forehead.

I knew he wasn't doing well. He keeps over working himself, and now he is going to have to pay the price. I continue to cool his body with damp cloth while trying revive him at the same time.

Still nothing.

I realize it could be awhile before anything could happen. Trying not to panic, I pull out my phone.

It was time to call in reinforcements.

So part one is done. Not sure how long this will be, but I realized I wasn't going to be able to do it in one part. I hope you like it.

If you have any ideas or wishes, please let me know.

[butters-flower-mom]

Oneshot about Pepper and Butters making breakfast for Pepper's mom on her birthday. Sorry this is late, I was really tired yesterday.

---

Butters tapped the base of the bottle of hot sauce, red dropping onto the yellow of the eggs. He wasn't the best at preparing food, but he had made eggs enough times to know how to cook them without making a mess. The last thing he wanted to do is give Ms. Milne something to clean up.

Right as he reached for the salt shaker he heard the back door swing open. He glanced over his shoulder to see Pepper walking into the kitchen with a hand full of dandelions and baby's breath.

"She's gonna *love* these", Pepper announced, reaching into the cabinet for a vase. "There's hardly any wildflowers left in the front yard though".

"That's okay", Butters assured. "There's still plenty of plants in the garden. Plus they look better in the house".

He filled the vase with water until the stems were halfway wet. A moment later Pepper was the one at the sink, diluting Ms. Milne's glass of apple juice.

As they arranged the plate and vase on the table they heard foot steps coming from the hallway. They giggled, positively giddy.

Ms. Milne entered the kitchen, still rubbing sleep from her eyes. In her state of grogginess it took her a moment to process what was happening, but when she realized it she smiled fondly.

"Happy birthday!!" Pepper and Butters cheered in unison.

Oh my god, this is so cute! Thank you so much! I'm tearing up over all the little things you remembered, like that I like hot sauce on my eggs and that I can't drink apple juice unless it's watered down. Really, thank you.

[voraciousvore]

Boarding School for Giants (21/25)

------ Chapter 21 ------

The bell hadn’t rung yet to signal the end of the day, meaning Joey was still in class. I decided to go back to my dorm. My thoughts were a tangled mess, and I needed to work through them. My world, yet again, had been violently turned upside-down and mixed up like a cocktail shaker. I had assumed that I was stranded here at the giant boarding school after my mother abandoned me. The tantalizing opportunity to return to a normal life, with other humans my size, was something I had been pining for ever since I first got here. 

So why was my heart in such turmoil? As I biked through the vast, empty halls of the giant school, I was reminded of how small and insignificant I had felt upon my arrival, like hardly a person at all. Certainly, I was tiny when compared to a giant, I couldn’t deny that. But insignificant? No. Mr. Henderson and Joey treated me with kindness and respect, and attended to my needs to the best of their abilities. The other giant students, such as Stephanie, were beginning to notice me more and recognize me as an individual. Hell, even the giants who hated me like the principal or the student who swallowed me out of spite still attributed some meaning to my presence; otherwise, they would have treated me with indifference, rather than such execrable contempt.

I realized that a lot had changed within me in the short time I had been here. While I still got nervous around giant strangers I didn’t know, for obvious reasons, I wasn’t absolutely terrified of all giants like I had been initially. Like the human doctor had told me, the feeling faded with time. Despite my excessive, egregious suffering, my attitude and behavior had improved significantly overall. I didn’t lash out at everything and everyone around me and misbehave just for the sake of it. External factors were a huge reason for the difference, but internally I was affected as well. In my personal trial by fire, I discarded my weaknesses and discovered strength, bravery, and resilience I didn’t know I had, along with a new blossoming force within me that wanted to be better, to fight for something more than a tormented existence. 

I biked through the doors of the school out into the courtyard, brightly lit by the afternoon sun. The colossal trees were starting to shed their leaves for the fall season, leaving the pavement and grass peppered with vivid hot splashes of red, orange, and yellow in varying shades. The leaves rustled and crunched in a satisfying way under the narrow tires of my bike as I sped along. The languid warmth of the summer breeze was gradually giving way to the crisp autumn air. 

I couldn’t deny that this giant world was beautiful, and had its own appeal to it. I thought about Joey and Mr. Henderson. Joey was so sweet and thoughtful, and I had developed an irresistible crush for him. Mr. Henderson had been by my side since the beginning, and was more of a father figure to me than my absent biological father. Could I really give up the strong ties I had forged to live with humans again? Was it worth it? 

If I went back to the human side of the wall, I’d be put in “the system,” a cold and impersonal machine for processing the unwanted, a ruthless bureaucracy that chewed up people and spat them back out. I would live in an orphanage or be relocated to live with strangers. Maybe they would be nice people, or maybe not: There was no way to know for certain. I would be alone again, and would have to start everything from scratch. My old life was dead to me; nobody loved or missed me over there, or waited eagerly for me to come back. Not even my own mother. I pushed her out of my mind. She didn’t deserve to occupy my thoughts anymore. 

Instead, I tried to picture what a life here would look like, with Mr. Henderson as my father. My father. I could have an affectionate father again, one who would care for me and love me. A comforting glow flowed into my soul, overflowing through my body until even the hole inside me disappeared. The idea was alluring. I could dream of a rosy future. 

A glance at the watch on my wrist snapped me back into cold reality. I was really only parsing through the positives, as if trying to convince myself to accept an idealistic image of what could be. I wanted a father so badly, I was almost willing to set aside the painful truth that I simply didn’t belong here. It was a dream, nothing more.  

I didn’t know if I could survive among giants for any extended period of time. I had already been through hell so many times, had enough close calls with death to leave me traumatized for the rest of my life. I ran through all the terrible events in my head. I had been bullied to tears and devoured alive by one giant student, and had only escaped being digested in his stomach because Mr. Henderson happened to be nearby to get me out. Another giant student had snatched me up when I was alone in a foiled attempt to gratify his own sexual urges—a student who was currently present on campus, by the way, and still posed a threat. The giant principal had harmed me badly enough to send me to the hospital, and I had been helpless to stop him. Even when malicious intent wasn’t involved, a simple accident had the potential to kill me, such as in the diner when I had almost been eaten a second time by another giant.  

I constantly needed to be on high alert, in case there was a predator lurking in the shadows. Any giant could easily kidnap me, torture me, eat me, kill me. Could I really endure the pain and chronic fear? Not likely. Was it worth being loved if living with giants might kill me? Probably not. My soul withered and died within me with recognition of the reality I lived in. I had to prioritize my safety first. As usual, I didn’t really have much of a choice. In that sense, the illusion of choice was a deception, a falsehood. 

I pulled up to the human dorm and shelved my bike in the rack. At least with the roof locked I felt safe here. I went inside, continuing to mull over my options, or lack thereof. Why was life so cruel? The twisted irony of my situation was not lost on me. I had been desperate to return to the human world, and now that I had the chance, I didn’t want to go. What the hell was wrong with me?  

To distract myself, I flopped down on my bed and worked on some homework. I had almost forgotten about the English assignment the teacher had given the class the day I went to the hospital. I figured this would be a good chance to try out my new computer. I set up the laptop and wrote the essay, pretending as if the homework mattered. As if anything I had done here mattered. I had barely attended my classes since enrolling at the giant school. I had yet to go to my third period class, but I guess it wasn’t important anyways. Regardless, for whatever reason, I did the assignment, and emailed it to my teacher with a brief apology for tardiness. 

Once I was done with all my homework, I played on my new computer and explored some of its features. I thought to myself, with a twinge of pain, how kind Mr. Henderson was to provide me with the tools necessary for me to succeed in school. It would be hard to leave, I realized, to simply give up on all the things I had strived for. The advance of thunderous footfalls jerked me out of my thoughts. As I got up out of bed, there was a knock on the door. 

“Eren?” Joey’s voice called out to me. “You in there?” 

“Coming!” I yelled back, hopefully loud enough for him to hear me. I felt a stab of remorse, knowing I would have to say goodbye to Joey if I decided to leave. I would break his heart, and shatter mine in the process. A pit of dread settled in my stomach, but I forced a smile and opened the door. He was crouching down outside, looming over the building with one hand casually resting on the roof, and beamed when he saw me. 

“Hi Eren! Everything good?” he asked, with a mild hint of concern. “If you don’t mind me asking, what did Mr. Henderson want?” 

“Oh… not much. I got my bike back. He also gave me a laptop so I can do my schoolwork on my own. You won’t have to help me type up my homework anymore,” I informed him. I decided not to mention the more pertinent discussion of my future. I hadn’t made a decision yet, so telling Joey would be premature. 

“Nice!” Joey said. “You deserve it!” He grinned in a way that made my heart dissolve in my chest. “So, are you free tonight? There’s a new movie out that sounds neat. It’s about a superhero that can turn into a bug, or something like that. You wanna go with me?” 

Of course I was free. “Sure,” I replied. “Let me change out of my school uniform, and I’ll be right out.” I closed the door and quickly changed. As my body mechanically went through the motions, I collected together my confused thoughts. Should I tell Joey? Perhaps he could help me work through my line of reasoning, and give me some good advice, much-needed fresh perspective. On the other hand, we had become emotionally invested in each other; he wouldn’t be an objective voice in the matter. I was conflicted, but I had time. I would hold off for now and enjoy our time together, because we might not be able to see each other for much longer.  

My chest tightened. If I went back to human society, I didn’t know where I would be sent. I might be placed in a home far away from the wall, never able to visit Joey. The faceless adults who would hold power over me may prevent me from ever coming back. Humans feared giants and viewed them as dangerous—a fact I knew better than anyone. No responsible guardian would let their ward gallivant about on the giant side of town unsupervised. I realized then that moving to the human side of the wall would be a permanent break. There would be no going back. 

With that realization weighing my heart down like a metal ball and chain, I stepped back outside and smiled up at Joey. He smiled back, and I suddenly felt light, like I could float away. Goodness, he was handsome. The late afternoon sun painted his face and body on one side in a warm glow that made him look like he was shining, almost angelic. He opened his hand to me and I climbed inside it, settling down in the curved center. 

He lifted me up high into the sky, elevating me far above the earth. The air so far up felt cooler, cleaner, crisper, as it danced on my face and ran through my hair. He surrounded me with his body, his warmth, larger than life. I leaned back into the fabric of his shirt, against the wall of flesh behind it, and exhaled with contentment. He began to walk with those enormous long legs of his, and I rocked soothingly with the rhythm of his great strides. When I was with Joey, everything felt right. All my problems and hardships seemed to dissolve away, drip off his hand into the infinite expanse below, never to be seen again. How could I possibly bring myself to give this up? 

The hard boundary delineating my options had crystallized in my mind into not only practical choices, but abstract concepts, with real consequences. If I stayed with the giants, I would be choosing love, both romantic and familial. I would be choosing danger and risk and adventure. An exciting and fulfilling life, but also one fraught with hazard and terror, perhaps unnaturally short, violent, and brutal. I may flourish, or I may fall. If I decided to go back with the humans, I would be choosing safety and security. I would be choosing loneliness, emptiness, conformity, mediocrity. My body would certainly live, but my spirit would flounder. 

In both choices was an element of the unknown. I could not see through the fog that obscured the future. I was lost in the murky gloom, and didn’t know the way. I didn’t know what option was right or wrong. One choice might kill my physically, but the other choice might rob me of any chance of happiness or love. I just didn’t know. 

Next chapter: https://www.tumblr.com/voraciousvore/731608904363048960/boarding-school-for-giants-2225?source=share

1st chapter: https://www.tumblr.com/voraciousvore/731600430392639488/boarding-school-for-giants-125?source=share

[wormwood-dream-emulator]

Disguised and Disgusted - story under the read-more

The Robber Baron shifted in her chair. Anxiety had filled her body since the moment she sat down. She glanced at her friend, a Mover-and-Shaker sitting at the same table. While they were doing what they were supposed to, it was unnerving. The truth is, they're both toons.

Their mission was a simple one: Test out their Cog Disguises (without getting caught), and also gather intel. This exact situation isn't what anyone had in mind however...

Waiters came by the table and served cans of oil. A Micromanager sitting with them thanked the waiters, and began to happily sip the oil. The Mover-and-Shaker looked at the oil, trying her best to not cringe obviously. The two decided to not touch their oil cans for now.

Meanwhile, two more Toons kept a close eye on them while hiding away. While it would be easy to just hear about the results after this experiment, these two always think it's good to have another set of eyes on the scene. They both had built the Cog Disguises after all, and they wanted to see first hand how the other two would do. The sea-green cat whispered, "The disguises are working well! It's like as if they blend right in!" The yellow cat chimed in, "The designs are unique, but you're right, they work well." Seeing the oil being served, however, neither of them decided to question how the group got into this predicament.

The Micromanager finally chimed in after enjoying her serving. "Oh, girls, have you not finished your drinks yet?" The Robber Baron and Mover-and-Shaker looked at her, then at each other. "It's quality stuff, you know. I can get plenty of it too because I help out with the catering, so please help yourselves!" "I'm uh... not hungry," the Robber Baron said. "I ate earlier since I didn't know we were gonna be... here." She smiled meekly, and pushed her can towards the Micromanager. "You can have my serving." Do Cogs even eat? She wondered if maybe she could have said something different to deflect suspicions, if there were any. The Micromanager then turned to the Mover-and-Shaker. "How about you? Is yours alright?" The Mover-and-Shaker had a look of surprise and anxiety, but soon answered. "No thanks!" She said as a quick and nervous response. The Micromanager leaned forward with her arms on the table and a hand resting on her face. "I know you two must be nervous... You're both new hires, but I'm determined to help guide you through this company!" The two disguised Toons looked at each other, confused; It wasn't too long ago that they were fighting this one very Cog, albeit without their disguises on. Of course, they were never going to see this side of her as Toons, but it still surprised them that she acted so caringly for those she saw as new or lower. "Of course, that's why I thought it would be a great idea to bring you two to the Banquet! You'll get to socialize and learn about everything that goes on here." "Socialize..." the Robber Baron mumbled. "Of course, of course..." the Mover-and-Shaker said, too confused to do anything else.

While this would technically be "gathering intel", it wasn't the ideal place and event to do so. This wasn't their first time in the disguises, but they hardly understood what the norms of Cogs even were. Of course, they existed, and they seemed fundamentally different from Toons, but the details... they never bothered with the details, actually. It's as if they landed on an alien planet, and had to act quickly and accordingly to something completely new. The fact that the two have been guided by the Micromanager was both a blessing and curse, as well; They could learn some of the norms from her, but if they messed up she would be the one to see it. The two cats slowly became worried. "You know, Jellyroll, I think we should be more concerned with the toons inside the disguises," the yellow one said. "Hmm... fine. We can't have them being found out, after all." In the Robber Baron and Mover-and-Shaker's earpieces, a voice emerged. "Gator! Sparkle! We're not feeling too confident in your acting skills." The Robber Baron discreetly glanced over to the place she knew the two cats were hiding, and started to tap her finger anxiously. "Of course, it'll be easier to blend in once you get exposed to more suit-uations... but for now, try mimicking what everyone else in the room is doing!" Looking around, the Robber Baron knew everyone was chatting and drinking oil. She knew Jellyroll was kind of insane, but he couldn't be recommending..? A waiter holding more oil cans came by suddenly, preparing to serve more oil cans by taking the two empty ones. "Is everything okay? This one drink hasn't been touched and you've hardly asked for refills," They asked. The Mover-and-Shaker suddenly spoke. "N-no, everything's good! The oil's good!" The waiter nodded and moved on. "I just haven't drank it yet 'cause I want to savour it," she explained to the Micromanager. The other three thought this was a good save, until the Mover-and-Shaker drank some of the oil. She did her best to hold back a look of disgust, and also hold back from throwing up the oil right then and there. The Micromanager noticed something was wrong. "Is everything alright...?" The voice in the earpieces rang out, saying in a forceful whisper, "Sparklezilla, what the HELL did you do?!" She wiped her mouth. "You were right, it's quality stuff.. but... I'm a lightweight it seems," she said, smiling nervously. "Ah!" said the Micromanager. "That makes sense; You're not as strong as your Robber Baron friend, huh?" Gator thought to herself, That made SENSE to her?? She felt somewhat relieved that at least that her friends were somehow both insane but also geniuses.. or Sparklezilla simply got lucky. Either way, their cover wasn't blown, and they seemed to dispel any suspicions once again. The two cats looked on, absolutely baffled. "Bonbon," Jellyroll suddenly said, turning to the yellow cat, "I think next time we'll have to sneak in some soda for those two..."

The rest of the night went as planned, with Gator gathering info about the Cogs. Of course, it was boring, but it was nothing compared to Sparklezilla, who sat there the entire night, sick to her stomach.

[kindheart525]

Bzzz!

Whenever her phone vibrated, it could mean something positive or absolutely awful for Triple Threat. An interview, perhaps, or a job offer if she was lucky. Those were few and far between lately. Too often it was another nasty comment, another bully to block from her messages.

It was so draining.

Triple Threat picked up her little gadget for a brief glance, a quick scroll before she could get back to her day.

Random stranger… Random stranger…

1 Message from Sugar Shaker

Sugar Shaker!?

This had to be a trick. THE Sugar Shaker? Trotsy Thoroughbred herself? This had to be a fan account, an imitator, there was no way…

Nope. Verified account, @sugarshaker.official herself.

TT’s hooves were practically shaking as she gripped her phone between them. Sugar Shaker, her idol, messaging HER? Out of all ponies? She had heard of her? Why? How?

Relax, TT, it’s probably a publicity representative.

But the video she sent told her otherwise.

The camera was blurry and shaking, with a brown hoof half-covering the lens.

“Is this thing on? Can she see me?”

An older mare’s voice asked, with a younger filly responding,

“Yes Nana, she will. Just put it in the stand and step back a little.”

“Oh, these newfangled contraptions. They didn’t have these back in my day.”

The mare clicked her tongue.

“Wait, I’ve gotta try out one of these fancy backgrounds.”

The screen lit up with a series of filters like rainbows, puppy ears, even a “which Bridleway star are you” test, before settling on a pink, starry background. 

“Ah yes, this will make me look like a star.”

The mare backed up, revealing her whole face in all its glory. Just like the old recordings, just with more laugh lines and silver streaks now.

“Miss Triple Threat, hello!”

TT couldn’t wipe the grin off her face. She was talking to her! Her idol knew her name!

“Now, I’ve been retired for years, I’m not sure if you even know who I am. Sugar Shaker, I was Trotsy Thoroughbred in Manespray! The first one!”

Oh, she was so humble for somepony who blazed trails.

“I’ve heard a lot about you, you rising star. Why, you’re darn near the talk of the town! I just had to get in touch, so I got my grandfoal Cinnamon to help. Listen here—“

She took her camera off its stand, holding it closer to her face shakily but with determination.

“I’m real glad somepony’s talking about this. Back when I was starting out, we all knew what they did to ponies like us. We knew it was a problem, but hardly anypony heard of it. They mostly kept it hush-hush even if we tried to give them a piece of our minds. All the starlets I knew who had to give up their dreams…”

She stared off into the distance wistfully, before snapping back to the present moment.

“But we just darn might see a day where that doesn’t happen anymore because of ponies like you kicking up a fuss about it. I’m glad the young ponies these days have guts. You kids have the bravery of a manticore!”

TT didn’t feel very brave when she was being ridiculed onstage and off, when she was sick and in the pits of self-loathing. Even now she didn’t see it as bravery but just trying to make sure ponies like her survived.

“I’ll bet it’s not as easy as it looks.”

Sugar seemed to be reading her mind.

“You’re just doing what should have been done years ago. I’m sure you’d love nothing more than to just get on with it and sing your heart out.”

She was right, that’s all TT really wanted. 

“Well, I’m not going to just sit on my bum and let you do it alone. Big gals like us, we’ve gotta stick together.”

She panned the camera back to strike a fabulous pose, her body a mirror of her younger self, perhaps even bigger now. A mirror of TT’s.

“And guys and everyone else out there! Call me back, Triple Threat, and we can put out a statement together to try and finally nip this stuff in the bud. Let them know we aren’t going anywhere and they better give us what we deserve! And I’ve got some ponies for you to meet who can help us too. So you can finally live the life you dreamed of.”

After these inspiring words, Sugar adjusted her glasses in confused-old-mare fashion and squinted into the camera.

“How do you turn this off?”

“The red button, Nana.”

“Oh yes, that’s right. Ta-ta!”

The video stopped, but Triple Threat was still left in awe. She had just gotten a message from THE Sugar Shaker. But beyond the celebrity recognition, there was somepony who supported her, somepony well-known. She felt a mix of emotions—enraged that things hadn’t gotten much better than her time, pained that this hatred against fat ponies ruined so many careers. But empowered knowing that she wouldn’t be alone after all.

All these feelings motivated her as she went straight to work, typing out a reply and coming up with an action plan.

~~~~~~~~~~

Previous: Mizmaze Next: You Can't Stop The Beat

[cloudbattrolls]

Ready Set Go

This drabble is preceded by Piece by Piece.

Jikiro Takami & Jameth Abnale | Takami Estate | Present Night

A subdued air surrounded Jikiro and Jamie as they ate lunch together at the Takami estate’s dining room, both fresh from work. Jikiro’s employees bustled around them, and Jamie gave Akiote a half-hearted wave, but neither man looked particularly happy.

The tealblood had hardly touched his food, even though he loved eel. Jamie had already finished his meal, a bowl of soup he’d added a generous portion of spices to. 

“We’re fucked, Jamie.” Jikiro said, sighing. “I don’t know what to do. I’m getting us new contracts, but word’s spreading about how our current ones dropped us. Every time I think I’ve made good enough wards to keep her out of our own and other businesses, she breaks through and turns someone else against us! She’s just too damn experienced.” He gritted his teeth. 

He held his head in hands.

“I wish she’d fucking give up already. This is such a waste of my time.”

“Mmm.” Said Jamie contemplatively, though his gaze was elsewhere. “Yet you refuse to kill her.”

“By this point I’d consider it.” Replied the older man bluntly. “But there’s basically no way that doesn’t involve sinking yet more money down the drain, and I know damn well my magic’s no match for hers, if it was I wouldn’t have problems anyway.”

Jamie examined his kismesis intently. 

“Is there any source of stronger magic you could tap? I know those things from the legends we’ve heard can’t be all fake. My own homeland tells tales of the fae.”

The ink maker looked uncomfortable.

“We don’t bother those creatures for a reason, Jamie, it’s dangerous as fuck. They’re really hard to deal with and live, Hanabi’s told me so.”

“Oh? I suppose it makes sense she would know, being so old…” he mused. “Well. You might not have a choice soon, laddie. I know you’ve already had to cut hours and roll back production. Haven’t a few lines of ink gone unavailable, too?”

Jikiro winced and nodded. He looked down at his food. His appetite had just…vanished. How was he supposed to eat when he was worried if his lowblood workers would go hungry? It felt wrong.

“Eat, you fool. Starving yourself doesn’t help.” Urged his kismesis, annoyed.

“I’m nowhere close to starving.” He muttered. “I’d cut the estate’s food budget if I had t - “

“Stop, stop, shut up.” Jamie cut in. “Don’t talk like that. Things aren’t quite so bad yet. You know I’d give you a loan if necessary, you moron.”

Jikiro nodded reluctantly, and finally took a forkful of his eel. He looked at the spice shaker Jamie had enjoyed earlier, but decided against using any.

“So, uh…how about you and Velour?” He said, trying to sound more lighthearted.

Jamie snorted. “Oh, don’t go all Viltau on me. There’s nothing to tell.” 

He idly played with a small keychain on his phone, a small metallic charm shaped like a simple spaceship.

The tanuki troll grinned. “Oh yeah? How come every time I turn around you’re spending time with him, or planning to? I might get jealous.”

Jamie sputtered in amusement and indignation alike, flicking a crumb from his plate at his spade, who caught it and threw it in the trash. 

“Don’t be an idiot! I’d rather eat my own socks than have feelings for the man.” He said vehemently. “Besides, I have far better taste in flush.” He sniffed.

“Oh shit, true…not like there’s a whole two other quads or anything, and you’ve never told me what you like in pale.” The tanuki troll remarked, grin even bigger.

Jamie glared at Jikiro, who put his head on one hand as he leaned on the wooden table and looked back, completely unbothered.

“I don’t like anything in pale, and I’ll thank you to mind your own business anyway.”

“Like fuck I will.” Said Jikiro cheerfully. “Not after you being nosy about me and Vil. Give and take, freckles.”

Jamie made an irritated hooting noise, crossing his thin arms.

“There is absolutely no reason I’d ever feel anything for that self-centered, frivolous, shallow, miserly idiot.” He said softly, deathly serious. Light shone off his rectangular glasses.

“You know how this will end, Jiji. He gets bored, or I become too much trouble, and he moves on. We both know that’s always the way. It will be so for him, and for Viltau too. I am prepared. Life will go on.”

Jikiro looked at the cobalt with almost as analytical of a gaze as the kookaburra troll tended to give those around him. 

“That what you really think, or do you just not like me prying?”

“Yes.” Jamie shot back, snide, ears flicking in irritation.

Then his eyes rolled back, and he promptly fell out of his chair, choking for breath.

“Jamie? Jamie!!”

Jikiro’s panicked shouts were the last thing the blueblood heard before he fell unconscious.

—

The cobalt woke up in a soft, familiar bed with sopor-lined sheets, staring at the painted ceiling he’d slept under countless times before.

He could barely move, and his throat was dry, his tongue parched.

“What…?” He croaked, seeing Jikiro sitting at the foot of the bed, looking more solemn than he’d almost ever seen him before.

“Izanam.” The tealblood answered, hatred bubbling beneath his forced calm. “She exploited a loophole in our wards. That fucking spice shaker.” He said, voice raising.

Jamie blinked blearily, then his lip curled in disdainful amusement.

“Well. What’s the diagnosis, medic?”

“Look at your right arm.” He answered, grim.

Jamie did so, drawing it out from under the covers, and saw that his hand and part of his forearm were ink-black. He swore he saw the uneven edges of the mark moving slightly, trying and failing to creep further up the skin. 

“I trapped the poison there; didn’t have a choice. I’m not good enough with that stuff to try to cure it, I could wind up killing you instead. I need to go find a cure.”

“Find, not make?” The blueblood queried. “Don’t you have books for this kind of thing?”

The tanuki troll shook his head. “Not for this. Hanabi and I have already been through the books, and even she doesn’t recognize it. Whatever Izanam used is rare enough that we have no records of it.”

Jamie absorbed this, swallowing to get some more moisture back in his mouth.

“I see. So. Where must you go to find this cure?”

The tealblood looked up.

“Know how you asked me why I had to eat ink and I didn’t answer?”

“Intimately.” Replied the kookaburra troll dryly.

“Remember how we were talking about magical creatures?”

“Oh, this is too good.” Said Jamie with amusement. “What, are you possessed or something?”

Jikiro huffed. “Not exactly -“

“No, no, I need to savor the moment of my kismesis being a pop horror movie villain. Oh, fright, oh terror! Save me from the monster!” He pretended to swoon.

“Are you done?” Said Jikiro impatiently. “I’m trying to give you important information here, you little shit.”

“For the moment.” Jamie chuckled, still amused by the entire situation.

Jikiro folded his tattooed arms. “Yeah, I have some demon power in me, it’s what brought me back from the dead. But I’m not possessed. Hanabi said…she said if I could make a deal with that demon, it could tell me how to get the cure. She said it’s not ideal, but -“

“Hold on.” Jamie said impatiently. “You’re going to go make a deal with a literal demon and that’s all you plan on asking it for? How to cure me? Have some imagination! Ask it for the ability to kick Izanam’s geriatric arse to the curb.”

Jikiro glowered. “Do you have any idea how dangerous making deals with demons is? I’m gonna be pushing it just asking to save you. Hanabi has to coach me on what to say so I don’t fuck myself and the business over.”

“Please, I can coach you too.” Dismissed the blueblood. “We’ll figure it out.”

The tealblood squinted.

“How the fuck are you taking this so calmly.”

Jamie’s two-tone eyes gleamed.

“You know why.”

Jikiro sighed. “Yeah, fair.”

“So, how much time do I have?” The smaller man asked, casual as if he was wondering whether it would rain.

Jikiro looked up again, then back at his kismesis.

“A few perigees. If I don’t cure you. But I will.” He said firmly.

Jamie nodded. 

“Better than I thought it might be. Well! Let’s get cracking. You’ll need to bring me up to speed so I can take care of your business too when you’re away. I imagine the demons are not so easily gotten to by train.”

Jikiro nodded, then hesitated. 

“Jamie, that’s a lot. Especially with the state Izanam has left us in. Are you sure?”

“You trust her to not try to corrupt or sway any of your second in commands, assuming she hasn’t already?” He asked, pointed. “Here I’m safe from that, at least, and I assume you patched your stupid ward.”

Jikiro snorted. “You fucking bet I did.”

“Then I don’t see what better option we have.” He said crisply. “I’ll sleep when I’m dead! Which might be sooner than I think.” He said with dark humor.

“Love the trust here, makes me feel so much better.” Grumbled the tealblood.

“Cry harder, Jiji, as you like to say.” Commented his spade airily. 

“Cool, I’ll go tell Viltau and Velour what happened then.” He fired back, grinning, and smirked in satisfaction as Jamie’s ear tips flushed blue along with his narrow face and he hooted angrily, his accent thickening.

“Don’t you dare! I do not want visitors! Jikiro Takami, I will kick your fat arse to the green moon!”

“Can’t hear you, I don’t speak tiny angry asshole.” He called back, having already walked out of the room.

His kismesis, unable to move off his bed, fumed.

[trinity-mia]

a story as endless as the ocean

the titan's curse

0.6 dead men tell no tales

warnings : allie and thalia argue, capture-the-flag fighting, allie pokes her finger with shaker purposefully, the oracle is there and that deserves a warning of her own

word count : 3.4k

0.6 Dead Men (Or... Female Oracles? I Guess?) Tell No Tales

After laying in the darkness for an hour, I finally managed to go back to sleep. My shoulders felt like they were breaking, but when I woke up at five, I ate some ambrosia and that seemed to help. 

When the horn blew for breakfast, I ate and then told Grover about my dream and how I could still feel the weight of the sky on my shoulders. 

We sat in the meadow watching the satyrs chase the wood nymphs through the snow. The nymphs had promised to kiss the satyrs if they got caught, but they hardly ever did. Usually, the nymph would let the satyr get up a full head of steam, then she'd turn into a snow-covered tree and the poor, gullible satyr would slam into it headfirst and get a pile of snow dumped on him.

"It's so weird," Grover said, twisting a clump of his fur anxiously, "you can still feel the weight of the sky and after what Zoe dreamed—"

"Woah, woah, back up. Zoe had a dream, too?"

"I... I don't know, exactly," Grover stammered. "About three in the morning she came to the Big House and demanded to talk to Chiron," Grover explained. "She looked really panicked."

"Pause... how do you know this?"

Grover blushed. "I was sort of camped outside the Artemis cabin."

"Uh, why?"

"Just to be, you know, near them."

"You're a stalker with hooves."

"I am not!" he defended. 

I gave him an admonishing look. "You definitely are, but go on."

"Anyway, I followed her to the Big House and hid in a bush and watched the whole thing. She got real upset when Argus wouldn't let her in. It was kind of a dangerous scene."

I tried to imagine that. Argus was the head of security for camp— a big blonde dude with eyes all over his body with legendary skills. He rarely showed himself unless something serious was going on. I wouldn't want to place bets on a fight between him and Zoe Nightshade.

"What did she say?" I asked, returning to the important stuff.

Grover grimaced. "Well, she starts talking really old-fashioned when she gets upset, so it was kind of hard to understand. But something about Artemis being in trouble and needing the Hunters. And then she called Argus a boil-brained lout... I think that's a bad thing. And then he called her—"

"What kind of trouble could Artemis be in? Do you think the monster she was hunting found her before she found it." 

"I... well, I think that's kinda the point. Finally, Chiron came out in his pajamas and his horsetail in curlers and—" 

"He wears curlers… in his tail?" 

Grover covered his mouth. 

"Sorry," I said, shaking my head. "Go on." 

"Well, Zoe said she needed permission to leave camp immediately. Chiron refused. He reminded Zoe that the Hunters were supposed to stay here until they received orders from Artemis. And she said..." Grover gulped. "She said 'How are we to get orders from Artemis if Artemis is lost?'" 

"’Lost’? How the hell do you kidnap the goddess of the hunt? How the hell do you kidnap a goddess, in general?"

"It happened to Persephone," Grove pointed out. 

"And she sealed her fate by eating the pomegranate. You tellin' me Artemis ate a fucking pomegranate or something of the sort and is now lost?"

"Well, when you put it like that."

"Surely, they can't be… powerful enough to capture an Olympian yet." My statement made both of our eyes widen. 

"I think that somebody would know if Kronos had finished reforming," Grover pointed out cautiously. "The gods would be more nervous. But still, it's weird, you having a nightmare the same night as Zoe. It's almost like—"

"They're connected," I finished. I would have been shocked if they weren't.

Over in the frozen meadow, a satyr skidded on his hooves as he chased after a redheaded tree nymph. She giggled and held out her arms as he ran toward her. Pop! She turned into a Scotch pine and he kissed the trunk at top speed, and the satyr toppled over onto his back in surprise at the abrupt impact.

"Ah, love," Grover said dreamily.

I thought about Zoe's nightmare, which she'd had only a few hours after mine, and came to a grim decision. One that would probably make me want to jump off a cliff. "I've got to talk to Zoe," I announced, standing to my feet and shaking off some snow that gathered on the top of my head.

"Before you do—" Grover said, pulling out a brochure. "I've been thinking a lot about how Artemis and the hunters just showed up at Westover Hall and... I think they might've been scouting us."

I raised my eyebrow. I hadn't told Grover about meeting them before yesterday, either. In fact, I'd only told Nessa, Katie, and Silena. "What do you mean?"

"Well, I found this in Brylie's backpack," he gave me the brochure. "... And you were kinda being a brat and smart-mouthed Artemis and she didn't blast you to pieces. At first, I thought it might just be because you're a girl and all that, but..." he struggled to find the right words, but I knew what he was going to say. "You aren't thinking about joining the Hunters, are you?" 

I sighed and, although I could've lied to him, I didn't feel like it. I explained to him how they'd found me a few weeks ago and how Artemis said she'd give me some time to think about it. And then how I denied it just the night before.

He was staring at me wide-eyed by the time I finished. 

"You can't be serious."

"Deadly."

"But... I always thought you and— never mind. I never would have thought you’d consider becoming a Hunter."

"I know... and honestly, I don't completely like the idea of immortality. I don't want to leave all of my friends behind. But..." I wanted to tell him about how I didn't want the prophecy to be mine (but also didn't want it to be Thalia's), but then I realized I would've sounded like a total spoiled brat. "Never mind. It was a passing thought and I already told her no. Same as Circe’s Island. I actually have archery, so I need to go. I'll talk to Zoe the next time I see her."

With that, I hopped up and speed-walked towards the archery range, pretending I didn’t hear him muttering, “Circe’s Island?” under his breath. 

I didn't see Zoe at all throughout the day, but I assumed it was because she was still trying to figure out what her dream meant. I was going to go up to her during dinner, but that didn't seem too great an idea, either, so I guessed it'd have to wait until after Capture the Flag. 

As we were getting ready, Zoe Nightshade looked pretty upset. She kept glancing resentfully at Chiron, like she couldn't believe he was making her do this. The other Hunters didn't look too happy, either. Unlike last night, they weren't laughing or joking around. They just huddled together in the dining pavilion, whispering nervously to each other as they strapped on their armor. Some of them even looked like they'd been crying. I guess that Zoe had told them about her nightmare.

On our team, we had Beckendorf and two of his brothers, Jake and Isaac, Ellis, Jacob, and Sherman from the Ares cabin, the Stolls and Nico from Hermes, and Silena, Nessa, Laurel, and Mitchell from the Aphrodite. Then there was Katie and her sister Whitney for Demeter, Will and his brother Ash from Apollo, and Leah and Grant from the Athena cabin

"I'll show them 'love is worthless,'" Silena grumbled angrily as she strapped on her armor. She and her siblings had been raring for blood since the Hunters had arrived. Frankly, I was feeling kind of terrified of them right now. Who knew what Silena was planning on doing with that nail file? I didn't doubt she could cut off someone's head with it. "I'll pulverize them!"

That left Thalia and me.

"I'll take the offense," Thalia volunteered. "You take defense."

"Oh." I hesitated, because I'd been about to say the exact same thing, only reversed. "Don't you think with your shield and all, you'd be better defense?" It was a known fact that I was a much better offense than defense. Even in sparring, I never used a shield, only further proving that point. 

Thalia already had Aegis on her arm, and even our own teammates were giving her a wide berth, trying not to cower before the bronze head of Medusa. I hated the shield, but not because of the image itself (though I didn't like that either, trust me). No, my problem was the memory it invoked. Aunty Em's Garden Gnome Emporium was not a fond recollection.

"Oh... I was thinking it was going to make a better offense. But uh, I guess. Don't screw this up, Jackson. I want to rub it in their face."

"Of course I won't. I'm a better offense, anyway." She looked at me skeptically while I went to help Silena fix her breastplate so it wouldn't get caught in her hair when she ran. 

"Allie, this is awesome!" Nico said as he ran up to me. His blue-feathered bronze helmet was falling in his eyes and his breastplate was about six sizes too big. Everyone always looked so ridiculous when they first arrived. He'd look less like a toddler playing dress-up once he finally copped on to the fact that this was real life, not his game where the only thing that got hurt if you lost was the player's pride.

Nico lifted his sword with effort. "Do we get to kill the other team?"

I eyed him warily. "Well... no." Not that the small boy would be able to kill anybody for a while. That sword definitely wasn't the right fit for him.

"But the Hunters are immortal, right?"

"That's only if they don't fall in battle. Besides—"

"It would be awesome if we just, like, resurrected as soon as we were killed, so we could keep fighting, and—"

"Nico, this is serious," I cut him off. "These are real swords. They can hurt." I poked my right pointer finger with Shaker until a drop of blood appeared to prove my point.

He stared at me, looking disappointed at my words, but I couldn't bring myself to regret what I'd said. He had touched on a sore point for pretty much everybody in camp. Monsters were reborn, centuries, decades, years, months, weeks, even days on some occasions (as my luck would prove) after being defeated. But demigods? Elysium was the only way that'd happen, and if you chose rebirth, you still wouldn't see the people you loved again. Nico was a nice kid, but at the moment, all I wished was for him to grow up and realize this wasn't a game, it was real life, and people didn't come back after being killed.

I patted Nico on the shoulder, trying to summon up some of my cheer. "Hey, it's cool. Just follow the team. Stay out of Zoe's way. We'll have a blast."

Chiron's hoof thundered on the pavilion floor.

"Heroes!" he called. "You know the rules! The creek is the boundary line. Blue team— Camp Half-Blood— shall take the west woods. Hunters of Artemis— red team— shall take the east woods. I will serve as referee and battlefield medic. No intentional maiming, please! All magic items are allowed. To your positions!"

"Sweet," Nico whispered to Thalia. "What kind of magic items? Do I get one?"

When he looked like he was about to start talking again, Thalia gave me a pleading look. "Blue team! Follow me!" I raised Riptide in the air and kept Shaker sheathed. 

We set our flag at the top of Zeus' Fist. It was deep into the western section of the woods, in an easily defensible clearing. Given its location, it was a good place to set the flag. The top boulder was twenty feet tall and really hard to climb, so the flag was clearly visible, like the rules said it had to be, and it didn't matter that the guards weren't allowed to stand within ten yards of it.

I set Nico on guard duty with Beckendorf and the Stolls, figuring he'd be safely out of the way, while still feeling included.

"We'll send out a decoy to the left," Thalia told the team. "Silena, you lead that."

"Got it!"

"Take Laurel, Ash, Nessa, Issac, Whitney, and Jacob. You're all good runners. Make a wide arc around the Hunters, attract as many as you can. I'll take the rest of you as our main raiding party around to the right and catch them by surprise," I continued.

Everybody nodded. It sounded good and Thalia and I worked well together and said it with such confidence you couldn't help but believe it would work.

"Anything to add, Thalia?"

She nodded. "Yeah. Keep sharp on defense. We've got four guards, two scouts. That's not much for a big forest, and this sort of terrain is the Hunters' territory. I'll be roving. Yell if you need help."

"And don't leave your post!" I added.

"Exactly."

Everybody nodded. We broke into our smaller groups. The horn sounded, and the game began.

Silena's group disappeared into the woods on the left. My group gave it a few seconds, then darted off toward the right.

As I ran, I remembered how the Hunters had stormed out of the woods when they fought the manticore, and I was prepared for a huge charge that could overwhelm us, as well as a subtle ambush that utilized their talents of camouflage. But nothing happened. It freaked me out, and the urge to split off from my group and find out what was happening poked at me.

I whistled quietly to Will and jerked my head up a tree. He got the memo and climbed up quickly, scouring the area. I didn't get time to hear what he was about to tell me. 

Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a clump of Hunters heading towards, bows ready. They must've spotted us.

For a second I thought we weren't going to get through, but each time they shot arrows, I knocked them away with Riptide or someone ran up beside me with a shield. We had a pretty good routine going. 

We had to stop for a few seconds and focus on fighting. I heard Silena's group about a hundred yards to my left. Then, there was the only thing I couldn't have guessed. 

Thalia had the flag. It was actually a pretty good move, considering everyone else was occupied, but then she tripped. 

"Thalia," I yelled, trying to get her attention. 

She got up and as soon as she made it over to me, she handed me their flag and I went off running, trying to ignore the furthering weight of the sky on my shoulders. Behind me, an arrow exploded at her feet and a cloud of yellow smoke billowed out around her team. They all started coughing and gagging. I could smell the gas from across the woods— the horrible smell of sulfur. I cursed and covered my nose as I realized what the hunters had done.

"No fair!" Thalia gasped, yet somehow still making her voice come out as a yell. "Fart arrows are unsportsmanlike!"

Only a few more yards to the creek and I had the game. More arrows whizzed past my ears. A Hunter came out of nowhere and slashed at me with her knife, but I parried and kept running.

I heard yelling from our side of the creek. Beckendorf and Nico were running toward me. I thought at first that they were coming to welcome me back, but then I saw they were chasing someone— Zoe Nightshade, racing toward me like a cheetah, dodging campers with no trouble. And she had our flag in her hands.

We smacked into each other, having the same idea to slow each other down, but it did no good. We still made it to our respective sides at the same time. 

Chiron appeared out of the woods, looking confused but simultaneously happy. He had the Stolls on his back, and it looked as if both of them had taken some nasty whacks to the head. Connor had two arrows sticking out of his helmet like antennae. Seeing the shape they were in, as well as losing, only inflamed my anger towards the Hunters.

"It's a tie!" He announced. "We can either play another round or leave it at that. What say you?"

"ASTRAEA JACKSON!" Thalia shouted, walking from the woods and smelling of sulfur. I raised my eyebrow as she walked up to me.

"Yes?"

"I told you I would've been better at offense! We could've actually won!"

"If you had a problem with what you agreed to, you could've told me. You let me win that argument! Not to mention, you left your post! How is this, in any way, my fault?"

"Gods! You are so arrogant! If you actually knew how to worry about someone other than yourself, Luke and Brylie would still be here!" Her face immediately changed. I winced and glared at her, while she started stuttering out apologies. 

Without even thinking about it, I summoned a wave that hit her full force in the chest, knocking her to the ground. She made to defend herself, but I put up a water shield, like the one I used when I was first getting to Camp, and the lightning she called down only blew my hair back. She got mad and so did I, so I'm not exactly sure how it happened, but I ended up lifting the whole creek above my head. 

With the two of us ready to attack, Silena gasped. "Oh, my gods! Look!" She was pointing towards the woods. My arms fell back to my sides in shock, making the creek fall back to its usual place, soaking everyone who was within a few feet of it.

The oracle, in all of its mummified glory, was walking towards us. She was shrouded in a murky green mist, and as it got closer, the campers and Hunters gasped in recognition.

"This is impossible," Chiron said. I'd never heard him sound so nervous, and it made the whole situation seem even worse than it was already. "It... she has never left the attic. Never."

And yet, the withered mummy that held the Oracle continued to shuffle forward until she stood in the center of the group. Mist curled around our feet, turning the snow a sickly shade of green.

None of us dared move. Then her voice hissed inside my head. Apparently, everyone could hear it, because several people put their hands over their ears to cover them.

I am the spirit of Delphi, the voice said. Speaker of the prophecies of Phoebus Apollo, slayer of the mighty Python.

My breath hitched as she took one single step forward, right in front of me. The Oracle regarded me with its cold, dead eyes once more. Then she spoke again. Approach, Seeker, and ask.

I swallowed. "What do I do to save Luke, Brylie, and Lady Artemis?"

The Oracle's mouth opened, and green mist poured out. I saw the vague image of a mountain, and two girls and a guy standing at the barren peak. Luke and Brylie were, like yesterday, pinned beneath a cavern ceiling, straining to hold it aloft (my shoulders started aching again, and I had to force myself to keep from wincing). Just ahead of them was Artemis, but she was wrapped in chains, fettered to the rocks. She was kneeling, her hands raised as if to fend off an attacker, and it looked like she was in as much pain as Luke and Brylie. The Oracle spoke:

Five shall go west to the goddess in chains,

One shall be lost in the land without rain,

The bane of Olympus shows the trail,

Campers and Hunters combined prevail,

The Titan's curse must one withstand,

And one shall perish by a parent's hand.

Then, as we were watching, the mist swirled and retreated like a great green serpent into the mummy's mouth. The Oracle sat down on a rock and became as still as she'd been in the attic, as if she might sit by this creek for a hundred years.

*    *    *

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SERIES M.LIST | MAIN M.LIST | TIPS

[clovemerablog]

Lana Del Rey and Quavo single review: “Tough”

Lana Del Rey’s new single with Quavo features slivers of her greatness but fails to stand out amongst her legendary portfolio.

Review by Clove Mera 9 July 2024

Single released 3 July 2024

Track written by: Lana Del Rey, Andrew Watt, Benny Negrin, Clayton Johnson, Elysse Jane Yulo, Henry Walter, Jack Antonoff, Jaxson Free, Josh Dorr, Maddox Batson, Nick Bailey & Quavious Marshall

Quality Control Music/Motown Records/UMG Recordings, Inc

Though I can say I enjoy “Tough”, my feelings towards it are mixed. When the song released a few days ago and even now, I don’t feel quite ready to embark on a new album rollout with Del Rey. Her most recent album, Did you know there’s a tunnel under Ocean Blvd had not even been out in the world for a year and a half and, being that I hardly enjoyed the album, more time is needed until I develop a hunger for new music. However, when I unwittingly heard a glowing review for the song, I decided to give it a listen. 

“Tough” begins with a country sound, which is not aligned with my personal tastes. The vocals were so drenched in reverberation, could hardly make out what Del Rey was saying. I decided to roll with it and absorb the sonic soundscape. When the trap influenced accelerated cymbal or shaker kicked into gear, my interest was piqued but I wasn’t excited quite yet. The infusion of hiphop influences into country isn’t necessarily an innovation on Del Rey’s part, and without her distinctive storytelling and high register evocative of a flirtatious angel in line, “Like the smoke in the drawl of your "Y'all" and the way you talk slow”, and the bridge’s abrupt tranquillisation of the song’s pulse, then “Tough” would veer into generic territory. However, my criticisms for Del Rey never include generic. 

Eventually “Tough” reaches a point I gleefully dance along, but this only happens in its final chorus. Each of the three choruses build on themselves in layers. By the final chorus, everything comes together into a hard hitting mix which stunned me the first time and I anticipate each time going forward. The verse’s trap drums are imported, bass heavy kicks are injected into the rhythm, a distant guitar wet with reverb fills the soundscape with a cinematic quality. Together, these new elements lift the unchanged chorus vocals to a deliciously complex zenith I love from Del Rey.

With each album, Del Rey explores new sounds, genres, themes, influences, but there will always be a few songs with gloriously highly sophisticated, almost orchestral, musicality. Some of my favourites include “The Grants”, “Text Book”, “Cinnamon Girl”, “The Blackest Day”, “Shades of Cool” and “13 Beaches”. What “Tough” has in common with those songs is its complexities in its production, the carefully selected additions to fill the highs and lows between the foundational drum and guitar. I especially enjoy Del Rey’s coolly distant “Ahh, ah, ahh” background glyph which repeats throughout the song.

Another enduring element in Del Rey’s art is her poetic and complex lyricism. Lana Del Rey is a role model to me in my songwriting, and this song is another exhibition of why that is. Each album acts like a life update with new topics to muse on, often influenced by where in America she finds herself, be it “Norman Fucking Rockwell”’s California backdrop, “Born to Die”’s New York setting or various rural states like Arizona and Nevada - “West Coast” and “Fucked my Way Up to the Top.” No matter the sound or the influence, Del Rey always brings sophisticated and evocative lyricism to the table. Throughout “Tough”, Lana and Quavo reflect on love persevering through hardship and juxtaposing toughness in the self and one’s experiences with “… Scuff on a pair of old leather boots/ like the blue-collar, red dirt attitude”. As a writer, I get excited by rhyme sequences I wouldn’t have seen coming. The imagery, rhyme sequence and storytelling in chorus line, “Like a .38 made out of brass/ tough like the stuff in your grandpa’s glass” is a standout moment.

Recently the trend of billing a featured artist as an “&” has settled into the music industry’s status quo. It becomes hard to discern from a song’s credited artists whether it will be a proper duet with two singers present throughout a track or entirely one artist with the other tacked onto the bridge. To my delight, “Tough” is indeed a duet. They sing the chorus together and call-and-respond on verse two, with some sing-talking sprechgesang in the outro. Quavo’s lyrics and vocals provide a sharp juxtaposition to Del Rey’s playful softness. 

“Tough” by Lana Del Rey and Quavo meanders through numerous humdrum sections to reach its forceful final chorus. I’m doubtful of the song’s replay value and also doubtful I won’t skip it if it plays on shuffle. Even though Lana has clearly signalled she’s moving in a different direction with her incoming album, I still feel it is too soon since her previous album. It has strong moments but its shortcomings render the song good when Del Rey is known for being exceptional. 

“Tough” is available to stream and has a visualiser attached below.

[scifrey]

NINE-TENTHS

Part Two

"I've got it," Gem says, leaping at the chance to be helpful. "Four glasses?"

"Extra ice in mine," Stu calls at Gem's back as she breezes into the living room and over to the booze hutch. We all pretend Gem's not wiping at her eyes. "I gotta drive home."

"You're not staying?" Mum asks him. 

"One of my guys got in the weeds with something at the museum."

"But Colin's come all the way from St. Catharines," Mum protests. "I thought you'd at least spend the night."

"I have a perfectly good bed a ten minute drive away."

Mum's lips pucker. I hate seeing her unhappy, but what am I gonna do? Tie Stu to the chair and not let him leave? 

Ha.

"Could use your advice," Stu says to me. "Figure out the best place to—"

"I know what you're doing, and the answer is no," I say, but I force a smile through it. "Try all you like Stu-pid, I'm not coming to work with you."

"It'd be nice to see both my boys working in their Dad's company," Mum says, trying to keep the peace.

"I need a landscaper for the summer—"

"My degree is in environmental and sustainable tourism," I remind everyone. "I wrote my thesis on biodynamic viniculture. Not grass-cutting."

"It's all outdoors and nature, isn't it?"

"Give it a rest."

"It’s just a job," Stu presses. "I know you're still figuring out the career thing, but you gotta make money in the meantime—"

"I have a 'just a job'. Hadhirah pays as good as you, and I don't have to get eaten alive by bugs in the backwoods—"

"Orillia is hardly the 'backwoods'," Mum tuts.

 "I'm happy in St. Catharines," I say, trying to stay firm but non-confrontational, like Dr. Chen taught me. "I like my friends, and I like Beanevolence. I don't want to work for Stu when he has no idea what I actually do."

"It's not like I'm going to kidnap you and force you to wear a tool belt. Don't get your feathers in a ruffle, mo leanbh," Stu says, in his best imitation of Mum's Scots brogue. 

Mum was seven when she and my Nan emigrated to Canada to get away from Nan's horrid husband, and Mum still has that pretty Scottish burr. Doubly so when she gets off the phone with her half-sister Patricia. I wish you could inherit an accent. 

"Thank you for the offer," I say, baring my teeth. "But I decline."

"Suit yourself," Stu says. Stu rubs his hand through my hair, which, rude! Some of us actually style our hair and use product, like civilized people, Stuart!

"Plan to." I take a sip of my cold tea before I can say anything that will turn this into an actual argument.

"Need help, Gemmy?" Mum asks. As a way to change the subject, it's not a subtle one.

"I'm coming," Gem says, over the clink of glass tumblers on Dad's mid-century bar tray. Dad had a thing for cocktails and James Bond. Mom has a thing for a good peaty scotch, so it was a match made in a shaker.

Gem sets down four Old Fashions, extra ice in Stu's, and extra cherries in mine. Our "Slàinte mhath!" is maybe too forced, but whatever.

Casting around for something to start a new conversation, Gem says: "I like your shirt. It's not black."

"Oh, yeah," I say, stroking the olive button-down. It's a tight fit, one of those tailored shirts that makes me look gawky and skinny, but Mum always appreciates the effort. Gem is wearing one of those cute dorky matching summer-dress-and-cardigan sets she likes, and Stu is in a bright blue tee-shirt and dark jeans that are actually free of construction debris or paint. "Beks picked it."

Mum perks up. "And where is Rebekah? I expected her to drive you."

"Mum," I groan, and it's a waste of Dad's good Scotch and Gem's artful work, but I down the cocktail in one go.

"What?" she asks.

"They broke up last year," Gemma reminds Mum gently.

"Doesn't mean she's not still your friend. She could have driven you up."

"It's five hours, Mummers," I protest. "I don't want to be in a car with her that long."

"Maybe all you need is the chance to have a good conversation, sort out—"

"There's nothing left to sort out," I cut in sullenly. "Yeah, we're still friends, but that doesn't mean I can just let you ambush her—"

"Ambush!" Mum echoes, looking guilty enough that it's obvious she totally had plans. "I would never."

"You have," Gem reminds her. None of us have forgotten Gem's high school crush, and the inflatable kiddie pool.

"Well," Mum says, flustered and caught-out. "It still would have been nice to see her."

"You could have brought Caden," Gemma says with a sly eye-side.

"Choke and die." I offer up a sharkish smile.

"Colin!" Mum scolds.

"Who's Caden?" Stu asks. My himbo brother likes gossip just as much as his twin.

 "Breach of contract!" I snarl at Gem.

"There was no NDA," Gem says through her own knife-slice grin.

"Who's Caden?" Stu asks again, amused.

"He's no one," I insist.

Gem scoffs. "That's not what you—"

"He's no one now," I amend, fiddling with my glass, watching my ice cube melt and wishing I hadn't drunk it all in one go. I always feel like a jerk if I get up and refill before everyone else has finished. I'm not, like, an alcoholic, but I don't want my family thinking I am one. They already watch me like a time-bomb when it comes to mental-health shit. 

"Oh," Stu says, catching what I mean.

"You’ll just have to try harder next time," Mum says. It's meant to be pleasant and understanding, but I literally grind my teeth together so hard Gem shoots me a startled look. "I don't know what I've done wrong, that you can't keep a partner, mo leanbh."

"Gem and Stu are single right now too, Mum, it's not like—"

"Just remember what Dr. Chen said about needing stability, Colin. It's not good to jump from relationship to relationship like this."

That's skirting dangerously close to calling me a 'greedy bisexual,’ I think, but don't say, because that's not a conversation I want to have right now. 

"Cut Colin some slack," Gem says gently.

"I just don't know why Rebekah couldn't come up with you," Mum says, wringing her hands. "She was such a nice girl, and you were going to get—"

"You said you weren't going to bring that up," Stu stops her.

My stomach bottoms out, and I shove away from the table. 

"Just forget I said anything, okay?" Mum says. She pats my shoulder lovingly, and leaves to go turn on the TV. I hate when she does that. Can't argue at her back, cause she can't read your lips that way. Mum keeps her hearing aids turned down so she can't hear anyone or anything that isn't directly in front of her. It always bugged her when we screamed across the house.

The TV flicks on, the channel flips, and Stu stands up to peer into the living room when it stops on a program with someone singing in that high, signature ‘70s tone we are all very familiar with.

"Mum's watching Lawrence Welk reruns again," Stuart says accusingly as Gem starts to tidy up.

"Rebekah broke up with me," I snap.

"We know," Gem says. "Stu, when are you going?"

"Might as well be right now," Stu grunts. Then he comes around the table and wraps me up in a huge bear hug that has me dangling a few inches from the floor. "Have a good trip back tomorrow."

"Thanks," I wheeze, nose smooshed.

He sets me down and slaps my shoulder in a manly, hetero way. "Happy birthday."

"Just one year away from my quarter-life crisis. I'm thrilled."

"Will you have figured out what to do with your fancy degree by then?" 

"Har har."

"Oh!" Gem says, and turns away to rifle the junk drawer. She sifts through archeological layers of take-out menus, dried up pens, and loose Canadian Tire money and emerges with a rumpled, used-to-be-white envelope. "This came for you. Like, last year."

"Why didn't you forward it?"

"I'm not your secretary."

I take the envelope. "I was here at Thanksgiving. And Christmas. And Easter."

"I'd forgotten. Mum found it when she was looking for the birthday candles."

I slip the letter out of the envelope. The paper is textured and expensive. The letterhead is crowned with maple leaves, and a little flame. Underneath it says, From the Office of Lt. Gov. Francis A. G. Simcoe.

Dear Colin Fergus Levesque; the letter reads, in computer-generated font. On behalf of the office of the Lieutenant Governor of the province of Upper Canada, and in the name of her Royal Majesty, Elizabeth Regina, we are pleased to congratulate you on the occasion of your graduation from your post-secondary studies….

…blah blah blah.

"What is it?" Stu asks, looking over my shoulder. "Oh, one of those."

"Yeah." I chuck it into the recycling bin under the sink. "Just the same thing the dragons always send. Nothing special."

Previous Part | Next Part | Read on Wattpad

[theessaflett]

Musician Wanted for Birthday Party 

In the upstairs conference room of an art gallery too famous to name I realise that hell is indeed other people if those people are glossy with entitlement 

the event manager has been trying to ‘fix my look’ for five minutes now 

(the reason I’m not fitting in with her brand is that I am neither thin or heterosexual but she hasn’t worked that out yet)

her designer high heels slipping on spilt champagne as she strides away to chastise someone holding a miniature horse sculpture 

grabbing oversized pastel balloons with steel in her eye

“have none of you looked at the vision board?”

I’m offered free alcohol and drink it like medicine 

the second half of the crystal glass downed in a cupboard because it turns out it wasn’t actually for me, the event manager pushing me up against the wall as she demands for me to “finish it before I ruin the reputation of this whole establishment”

(for two slightly inebriated people holding onto each other in a dark broom closet the whole thing is disappointingly unsexy)

later 

sharing whisky from a hip flask behind a potted plant 

the thirty-something princess for hire offers advice as she rearranges her bra and checks her lipstick in the reflection of her iPhone with grim ease 

“Stick with me, kid. It’ll be over before you know it.”

I look out at the candy coloured chaos 

designer children destroying everything in their sight as their parents ignore them 

busy instagramming a table of pink and purple macaroons no-one is actually eating because they all look like Gwyneth Paltrow 

a screaming toddler throws a shaker at me it hits me in the face 

the stinging bruise it leaves feels like rock bottom 

hardly anyone notices when I leave early  

the princess glancing over 

 a weary two finger salute shot my way as I snag another glass of champagne on my way out 

[ohtumbly]

Luni's Christmas Countdown: 4 weeks to go

24th December

On the evening, Luni was the first to enter the ballroom in a fine tuxedo. He expects all guests to be in either party dresses or tuxedos.

Ellie, Bella and Usalina popped out of his pockets.

Ellie: The pocket was tight. I could hardly breathe.

The first few arrivals were Ramunade, also in a tux, along with Lado, Lemo and Yuni in dresses behind him. They all had to put on coats over their clothes as it's cold outside. Then when they entered the ballroom, they can put away the coats.

Ramunade: Mily and Rein will arrive a little later.

Bella: Luni! The door!

Charlotte entered the ballroom a little later than Ramunade.

Charlotte: The colours matches my outfit.

1chi: Oi Luni! Open up!

Luni opened the door.

Luni: That tux of yours is nice, 1chi.

1chi: Gee, thanks.

Minutes later, while the salt and pepper shakers were preparing the dinner, Ramunade recieved a call from Mily. She said she's at the door, so Luni went to open.

Link to the salt shaker: https://lunime.fandom.com/wiki/Gacha_Salt

He opened it and there was Mily and Rein.

Ramunade: That's a nice tux, Rein. You've been wearing the same robe over and over again.

Mumble: Luni! I've finally learnt how to put on the coat right.

Luni opened the door: That's great! Come on in.

So how's everything so far?

Kinen: Luni! I'm here!

Luni opened the door again.

Kinen: I managed to bring in Abushu right here with me!

Abushu: Abu!

Luni: Alright, then enjoy the party.

Bex: Open the door! I've finally learnt some songs!

So Luni opened the door again. Bex was holding a file of papers. Behind her was Picc with her guitar, and Pawket with her mike in her hand.

Bex: Here, have these.

So Luni read the lyrics to the scripts line by line.

Luni: Did you rewrite the lyrics to the songs?

Bex: Yeah. It's going to be a parody, and a rearrangement, with my performers Picc and Pawket.

Pawket: Do we have to do this?

Picc: I don't know Paw, but I rather stick to the original lyrics.

An hour has passed and Luni hasn't got any visitors since at his door since.

Ellie: *yawn* It's about time to celebrate. Why haven't anyone come here yet?

The door: Hello. Who's there?

Bella: The door!

Usalina's thought bubble: Open it!

Luni went to the door and opened it. At the door was Senpaibuns and Pat stood at the entrance.

Senpaibuns: I'm sorry I was late. But I have this set of lights for the tree!

Pat: So how's everything so far?

Luni: Don't worry

Senpaibuns: I also had Mizumi with me, but she's having a lot of trouble in the snow. Her hair keeps turning into ice!

And Yukina's just playing in the snow. I hope her dress is still alright when she's arrived at the ballroom.

Oh there she is.

Mizumi: Senpaibuns! You're supposed to be my help to warm me up in the cold, why did you leave me outside?!

Senpaibuns: (chuckle) Oops.

I'll go put the lights up. You can stay inside where it's much warmer.

Yukina: Senpaibuns! I'm here!

Pat: Glad you're here!

And after they put the lights on the tree, and the salt and pepper brought in the dinner, Luni snapped a party cracker and the festive party began!

There is plenty of sparkling drink for everyone. Here, have a glass.