#very nervous about posting this i dont remember when i wrote my last fanfic

[luckytiggertalia]

Named, but Nameless

1.2k homelander x reader, sfw, fluff, headcanons about his birth name, a canon conversation between my oc and homelander written in an x reader format, she/her reader

Gaining such a strong connection with another human, after Madelyn, was something Homelander was convinced would never happen again nor would he ever try again. The fragility of human life and the strength of a supe never mixed well. Like water and oil, so close and yet always separate. Life and love didn't care about that, though. Life and love were the reciprocating shakers, vibrating and agitating the oil and water until they were as incorporated as possible. 

His couch was the shaker, and his knee was doing the shaking, bouncing up and down in rhythmic thumps. The foreign feeling of tightness in his chest overwhelmed him. He was a God. Why the hell was he feeling all these human emotions? What reason did he have to be so anxious? Beside him was nothing more than his mortal. He was stronger than her. He was braver than her. He could do anything and everything she couldn't. So why couldn't he respond to one simple question?

"Answer me.. please. Are you okay?" she said after concluding that he would stay silent. Her voice was laced with worry, with her brows knitted together. "Homelander?"

His supe name rolled off her tongue so deliciously, despite the name being admittedly bulky. Her voice carried that name through his every vein and artery, but the tightness in his chest remained. That was his name. He was Homelander. And yet, after gaining such a connection to her, the name felt… wrong. Perhaps it was the cliché of superheroes to have secret identities. Starlight had one, "Annie" they called her. Black Noir did, too, "Earving". Was his name worthy of being a secret identity?

"Homelander?" she repeated, speaking more sternly. She reached out to him, placing her hand over his bouncing knee, knowing all too well that she couldn't still it.

"John.." he said, his voice hushed.

"John?" she repeated.

Homelander grimaced, hearing her say it. This was a mistake. He said it too impulsively, and now it was too late to take it back. 

"J.. John. It's my birth name. Use it. If you want, I mean." The uncertainty in his voice made him sick. He sounded so pathetic, so unsure, so human. 

She didn't speak, instead just trying to read his expression. The silence sickened him. Was she judging him for his name? Was the name too simple or boring for her? He had never exactly told a partner his real name. They always seemed to just find out, whether by accident or by snooping. He had hoped being the one to tell this lover his name would feel liberating. Oh, how wrong he was. This felt suffocating. This felt like his identity was being forced upon him. This felt like that damned cage he was kept in as a child. John. John Doe. Named, but nameless. A science experiment with no sense of self. Only pain. Torment. Abuse. 

"Do you want me to call you that?" her voice rang out, presumably noticing how uncomfortably he stirred from her silence. 

He opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it again. Her knowing and using his assigned name was supposed to be the next step, and yet he wanted to say "no". Needed to say "no". 

"It's okay if you don't want me to, baby. I'm okay with just calling you Homelander."

His brow furrowed as he groaned, slamming his hands on the couch and forcing himself to his feet.

"No! No, you aren't… you aren't fucking getting it!" Homelander paced, his hand up near his mouth as he chewed on the leather of his crimson glove. "It isn't enough. 'Homelander' isn't enough! Everyone calls me that… Everyone uses that name. It's not special!" He hardly knew if he was making any sense to her. He wasn't even making any sense to himself. He knew he had no reason to get upset or frustrated because of something as trivial as a name, and yet he couldn't help it. He felt like a child. 

"Sweetheart, hey. It's alright. Let me try and understand, okay? Come here," she beckoned, arms opened and inviting. 

His teeth sunk harshly into the leather, his pacing slowing down as he glanced toward her. He stood still before going to reclaim his spot beside her, leaning into her warmth with his nose pressing into her neck. 

"Alright… So no 'John', and 'Homelander' isn't special enough. We could go with a nickname? I've used 'Homie' in the past. How about that one?"

The vibrations of her throat and the sound of her calmly beating heart soothed his unease. Always a problem solver, this one. The world would be damned if she ever couldn't find a solution to something.

"No… I like 'Homie', but it's still not special enough. I… I guess I want something more private. Just for us."

"Ah, I see." 

Silence again, but this time he knew she was just thinking. He didn't speak either, curious to see what his partner would come up with. She often surprised him with her ideas and suggestions and he hoped she would surprise him here, too. 

She broke the silence, "How about… Johnny? It is close to ‘John’, but far enough away to be special, and private, of course.”

The corner of his lip quirked in surprise. "Johnny?" he repeated, lifting his head off her shoulder. He had to fight back the smile forcing its way onto his lips. 

"Yeah! Johnny. I think it's cute, personally."

Homelander bit the inside of his cheek, averting his eyes all while turning his head away from her. That smile won and sat plastered across his lips. Hearing her say it again made a warmth blossom from his chest and spread to his every extremity. He could feel the blood rushing to his cheeks. It wasn't any spectacular nickname at all, rather common really, and yet it sat with him. The tightness and anxiety he had felt was quickly forgotten. 

"I mean, we can try it," he said with an attempt at sounding indifferent. He leaned back against the couch, head still turned away from her.

His response earned a small laugh from her, "We'll try it, then." He heard her leaning closer and saw her hand coming around out of his peripheral. Soft and tender, her hands held his face as if he were a fragile, porcelain doll. She turned his head to look at her, her eyes filled with nothing but affection and love for him. They stared deep into the blues of his own. Instinctively, his head leaned deeper into her hold, lips centimeters away from her palm.

"I love you, Johnny…" 

That…

It rolled off her tongue, her lips… It glided through the air like a feather. His eyes grew wider and softer, lips parting as he took it all in. Her voice echoed throughout his psyche. He latched onto the soundwaves, never wanting to forget how beautiful her words sounded. His mind felt numb and he felt a high he’d never experienced before. He felt lightheaded in the best way possible. All that combined with the softness and love in her eyes made him feel as if he would faint right in her arms. He leaned deeper into her touch, reaching a hand up to press hers harder into his cheek. He kissed her palm, lips smiling against her skin. 

I love you, Johnny…

"I love you too, my darling…"

[bish-plz-haha]

Just Pretend (a kagehina fanfic)

Just a little snippit of something I wrote a while ago and posted on AO3. If you wanna, you can read it here. (I also knew next to nothing about the ending so... OC's galore and OOC characters! That's my style. Lmao)

"Hey, Kageyama! What's up?" Hinata answered cheerfully. Kageyama could hear that stupid smile of his through the phone.

"Can I ask you a favour?" Kageyama cautiously asked. A pause on the other end of the phone made his heart pound in his chest. Kageyama wasn't sure why he was so nervous, but he was. And this was his last resort. He nervously waited for the reply that seemed to take forever to come.

"Sure!" Hinata finally said after a moment. Kageyama let out a breath and tried to figure out how to word his question but eventually gave up and just decided to go for it.

"Will you go on a date with me? Not like a real date or anything but like, my teammates invited me to this group date thing and I tried looking for a date but I cant fine someone and it's tomorrow and for some reason I thought it'd be a good idea to ask you. I understand-"

"Kageyama-"

"-if you say no. It's a stupid request anyway. Actually, you're probably going to say no anyway, so please just forget I ask-"

"Kageyama." Hinata tried again, his voice stern. It rattled Kageyama. This time, Kageyama paused and waited. "Don't just assume things for me. If you need a date that badly, I'd be happy to go." Hinata heard Kageyama sigh in what he assumed was relief. Or maybe Kageyama was just catching his breath. Hinata couldn't really be sure, but Kageyama definitely sounded calmer.

"Thanks, Hinata. I owe you one." Hinata couldn't help but giggle.

"Okay, what's the dress code and where and when do you want me to meet you?"

They sorted out the details and chatted a bit longer. Hinata had told Kageyama all about the team he was now playing with.

"You should see this one guy. He plays number 17 on our team. He's a wing spiker like me, but he's an actual giant! Last time we measured, he was one hundred and ninety eight centimetres!" Kageyama listened as Hinata rambled on about his teammates and his fans. He told Kageyama how, when he was in Europe for a vacation, he was recognised by a university student.

"So how have things been? I haven't really talked to you in over a year, Kageyama. You really gotta keep up with us more." Hinata asked as he finished rambling. Kageyama heard a voice in the background. "Oh, by the way, Suga and Daichi say hello."

Kageyama couldn't help but grin at their names. He remembered their days together fondly. Sugawara and Daichi followed them all through their high school career. They were always up in the stands, cheering Kageyama and Hinata on, along with the others, of course. Kageyama owed so much to Sugawara and Daichi as they reshaped him into a team player. They taught him how to fight alongside his teammates instead of with them. After middle school, Kageyama had an intense fear of teamwork. He would've rather done everything himself than rely on others. But Sugawara and Daichi really taught him the value of trusting in your teammates to have your back.

"Tell them I said hello back. I haven't seen them in a long time." Kageyama said sadly as he heard Hinata tell them what he had said. "But yeah. Um, I've been good. A lot of training. I've been running a lot in the mornings before practice. And when we practice, I usually work on my receives and spikes. They say that I should hone my setting skills more than anything but I'd like to be better at things that dont come as naturally - though we also got a lot of practice of that in high school." Kageyama chuckled at the memories of Coach Ukai making them do flying laps. And the training camps with tokyo powerhouse schools were no better.

"That's great, Kageyama! I just usually wait for practice to do my running. My coach, Hiragi Tamojikato, is very strict on everything we do. From our diets to how we train. He watches us and gives us meal guides and everything! It's a pain, but I'm glad for it."

Kageyama loved hearing about Hinata's life as a professional volleyball player. They had a match-up once before after they were recruited to their now-teams. But Kageyama liked to keep up with his best friend. Though, as Hinata had previously stated, Kageyama failed to do that in the past year as he had been super busy with travelling and training and playing matches. But he kept up with Hinata through articles and interviews from Hinata's current team.

"Ya know, maybe we could get the old team back together some time. Asahi works in Sendai. And Yamaguchi and Tsuki are together in Hiroshima - though I'm not sure what they're doing there." Hinata giggled. One thing Kageyama noticed through his conversation with Hinata was that the orange haired boy wasn't using that stupid grammar he used to. The words of 'fwah!' and 'bwam!'. He kinda missed it but knew that as they grew older, Hinata probably grew out of his adolescent speech. Well, Kageyama figured it was that, or he just didn't want to embarrass himself in front of professional players.

"Kageyama? Are you listening?" Hinata questioned from the other end of the phone. Kageyama hummed. "I said that I have to go now but I'll meet you at your apartment around four thirty okay?" Kageyama hummed again and smiled, saying his goodbye to his best friend and hanging up the phone. Kageyama laid back on his bed, the plush mattress combined with the soft duvet allowed his body to sink into it. Kageyama stared up at the ceiling, grinning to himself as he thought of what the next day would bring, completely in the moment and forgetting that Hinata was only coming over to be his pretend date.

[charmspoint]

3,5, 14, 17 for the fic ask game?

3. Are there any fics that inspired you to write what you do?

Not anything that I'm writing right now, no, but that's mostly cuz I usually get more inspired by art or music. When I read other peoples fics, especially when its fics i like, I usually don't feel the need to write anything similar cuz like...I already got what I wanted. And with fics that arent what I wanted and I think can be done better I usually dont stick around long enough to forge an idea around them ghvghvh I have very limited time for fics so im p picky about what I read.

While writing this I remembered one fic that DID inspire me cuz it hard really great atmosphere and magic feel to it and even though I didn't have a concrete idea I wanted to write something with a similar feeling so I went to look for it but it seems it got deleted and I can't remember who the writer was FUCK

5. What are your fanfic pet peeves? Do they have a huge effect on whether or not you decide to read something?

I genuinely leave really fast if I see descriptors used too much to identify people like u know 'the tall man' or 'the ravenette', like I can stand a one or two during a chapter but when people open with it and just keep em coming I'm very quick to leave, it's just something that breaks my immersion a whole lot.

There's also like something I can't quite describe like general writing quality. You can usually tell when a person isn't quite there yet because their writing is too clumsy or they linger on weird things or something. But then there are fics that are obviously written by someone who just started, like they are a lil awkward and clumsy but they have the IT factor. To throw in a lil rec that was Bagatelle No.25 in A minor for me. You can tell the writer is new and not really sure how to go about some things but WOW did they manage to capture me in the second half like it hasn't updated in a good while but I still hope it will because I'm very eager to see this writer develop. I think they have a lot of potential.

Also like something that won't bring me out like first chapter but does in longer fics is when things just take...so fucking long. Like I've read fics that take paragraphs to describe outfits and meals and I can't I just can't. That might be fun for some but it's just boring to me hvhvh ;;;; Some fics just feel very dragged out, like something an author could have said in less words is stretched out into more to meet a word count, you can really feel when a scene just drags on and I will usually drop fics that don't show improvement with that even if i initially enjoyed them cuz, like i said, my time is limited and I don't fancy spending it on being bored. I believe in giving a scene a time it needs and cutting out what doesn't work or slows down the pacing. That's why my chapters tend to vary by length from like 4-10k :I HVGGHVGH I don't want to stretch them out for the sake of stretching them out and I don't want to constrain them to a set word count either.

But as I said I'm this strict only cuz I don't have much time so being mega picky is the only way I read fics rn.

14. Do you have a personal word minimum that you hold yourself too? Why or why not?

Ah, I answered this in the last one kinda, but no not really. I just kinda go with the flow of the fic and see how it turns out. Sometimes its 2k sometimes its....30k...

Chaptered fics are a lil different, I usually write the first chapter free range and then feel the need to have every following chapter be AT LEAST that length. But as I said, what's important is quality over quantity so I'm not afraid to cut out stuff that just doesn't work, even if it makes me go bellow that count. The most important thing for me is that the chapter works, that it reads easy, that it doesn't feel like a drag or like footnotes. The wordcount is in service of that not the other way around.

17. How obsessively do you sit and stare at your fic after you’ve just posted and wait for feedback?

JHJKHBJ >.< a lot. I def refresh my page a lot of times, especially if I wrote something I'm p proud of. I'm always really excited to hear what people have to say and if they liked it. I wouldn't be posting my work if I didn't want people to interact with it. But also I'm always nervous about making dumb spelling mistakes right after I post :) I fuckin found a few after rereading my fics like months later it's embarrassing

writing asks

[hufflautia]

Hope you’ve had a great day today 💛

funnily enough, i literally just stopped crying. today was a bad day, I don't know 

why but my anxiety was just quite bad today and I was panicking before school started. something happened in my first class and I overthink a lot, so my mind was like, “oh my god why did they write your name last, do they hate me, am I boring, am I forgetful, people are always forgetting about me” and “my teacher doesn't like me, why didn't he respond, I'm embarrassed, why did you have to say what you said??” my English teacher does these “mindfulness” moments in which we sit in silence for a minute and reflect on the day, and I literally started crying. after the minute ended, I just stopped bc I didn't feel like crying anymore, and suddenly my brain said, “ur so fake, ur just acting, why did u stop crying all of a sudden, u just want attention u crave attention ur such a faker!!” also I keep thinking about something that happened years ago with my dad, I don't rlly wanna get into it but I think it would be good if I just say it so that its not jammed in my head. basically, I was really young, like in elementary school; my dad asked me if i wanted to sleep in his room with him, and originally, my mom was sleeping with him and i shared a room with my little brother. however, i was like hmm maybe, and then my dad said, haha ill pay u 5 dollars. at the time, i said YAY OK but now i realized that's so fucking creepy, yall know what its insinuating right?? anyways, i said ok, bc it was just a change from the usual sleep schedule and i liked spending time w my dad, so my mom went to my brothers room (it was a king-sized bed so it was ok, it wasn't a small bed that we had to share or anything like that) and i went to my parents room. basically, what happened was that we went to sleep, and in the middle of the night, (the next part makes me feel so uncomfortable and i feel queasy writing it) my dad slapped my butt really really hard to the point where i woke up and i was like ?????? and then he rubbed it softly immediately afterwards. i didnt know what happened, and i told my sister the day after, and she was confused too. recently i was thinking about it and I'm still confused and a lot more uncomfortable with what happened. here is my theory and i was very upset by it bc no one would want to think things like this- maybe my dad likes hurting women during sex and it was a reflex that night, but once he realized it was me, he tried “soothing me” or some shit by rubbing my butt (i literally hate this, i hate the fact that this happened and i don't like typing it out). no one wants to think about their parents sex life so this was just disgusting to think about. also my brother and mom keep arguing and fighting with each other, and I'm sure i have trauma from hearing my parents argue all the time so i rlly don't like it when they fight. my brother has explosive anger and he literally screams at her, which is very disrespectful; however, she screams at him too and sometimes hurts him, which scares me. I'm not worried about my own safety, I just hate violence i hate abuse, that scares me. so much stuff has happened in my life, and it results in a lot of trauma and other stuff that i don't even know about. i just know im really fucked up, im damaged and it just all felt like crashing down on me today- like everything thats happened, i was feeling anxious for no reason, i was thinking about the past, and i started crying again while watching netflix after school, so i just kept crying and i talked to myself out loud about my day and why i was feeling the way i was. that did help to some extent, and after i did that, i stopped crying, and then my brain said “why do you shut off your crying so easily, you seem fake, you seem like you wanna be sad and cry just so that you can see your pretty little tears drip down ur face like an actress, ur so fake ur so fake ur faking it ur not actually sad”, and the hardest part was that i didnt even object to it bc i didnt feel like anything was real, i felt like i didnt know who i was. i was like ok bitch whatever maybe ur right maybe i am faking it. i dont even know how to explain it, but its like being tired of that nagging and negative voice that you just submit to it, and you say ok whatever sure i am faking it, but in truth, the sadness i was feeling was real and genuine. about 10 min ago, i saw that someone tagged me in a fanfic and while i was reading it, i literally started bawling. i guess it was bc i saw in my email inbox that people had sent me asks, and i was happy bc i thought that maybe the person who sent me the fanfic idea responded back with more details. i was anxious about that before, bc i was thinking, oh god what if they just never respond, what if they just dont care about u anymore. when i saw the asks notifications, i felt a lot of relief bc i thought to myself, oh phew ok people still care about u. when i was crying while reading the fanfic, i couldn't stop crying, it felt endless. i couldn't just stop crying like i had before, and it reminded me of the time when my mom was going out to meet someone that she met on a dating app, and it was in the earlier times when she started doing this; she had gotten involved with some terrible men in the past, men who catfished her and were rlly vulgar and gross. im sure this was somewhere in June, when i had just posted chapter 1 of the slytherpuff series bc when i was freaking out about the date, i wrote about it in my journal and i know that it was somewhere in June bc i wrote something like “mom is going out to meet someone and im nervous, please please please i hope shes ok and careful, im really nervous and scared, no one likes my writing, mom is probably in danger, oh god oh gosh”. it was just a whole bunch of negative and anxious thoughts, including how i was feeling about the whole situation with chapter 1, so that's how i know it was somewhere in June. anyways, basically i was really scared for my mom bc shes had a bad history with online men and i was scared that someone was gonna kill her. i read and listen to a lot of murder mysteries, so my mind was going absolutely wild. i remember on that day, i went to take a shower after writing that entry in the journal, bc showering makes me feel better. when i stepped into the shower i started crying bc i was really scared for her and i was hoping she was safe and ok but i was just feeling so scared so i was crying and i couldn't stop crying. that was the scary part because i just kept bawling and i couldn't stop like i usually do; my brain said ok that's enough, you’ve cried enough, but my heart just kept going on and on and my brain said ok ok jessica holy jesus that's enough and eventually i sucked it up and was kinda ok afterwards but still sad and numb. that was similar to what had happened about 20 min ago. also im sure i was also sad today bc yesterday, my mom talked to me about in-person college visits, and her demeanor was very rushed and controlling. she said, “ok jessica we’re gonna do the college visits, we’re gonna drive there, and your dad is gonna come home for that. tell him that you need to do that, ok? tell him we do the college visits together.” i said that colleges are doing virtual tours, and her facial expression was very strained, she was like “DO NOT TELL HIM THAT. dont tell him that, ok?!” and she was pointing her finger at me and everything. she said, “tell him we’re going to do the physical college tours, which colleges do you wanna visit??” and she kept telling me not to tell him about the virtual tours. it reminded me of whenever she told me to say this or that to my dad over the phone, and i was upset, like oh great ok so dad’s coming home and i dont even wanna see him bc i dont like him that much, and now im gonna have to lie bc dad is probably gonna already know about the virtual tours and im gonna have to pretend that none of the colleges are doing virtual tours. in essence, today was a terrible day. while i was crying my eyes out when reading the fanfic, i wanted to tell something, i wanted to reach out to lee and jolie, but my brain said that i would burden them, im always telling them about stuff that happens (concerning my family or other stuff) and its probably getting too much for them.  my brain said that they wont be able to help anyway, im still gonna have to deal with the stuff im dealing with, and no one can help. that's a sad thought, it seems so helpless and sad. sometimes i overthink the smallest things, and when i see a text from lee and jolie that doesnt seem “right”, i think, oh gosh they hate me now, why did i have to say that?? i usually see my therapist every Thursday, aka today, but we didnt meet this time bc her schedule is becoming busy so now we’re gonna do it every other week, so next week i shall see her. perhaps she can help. 

thank you for this ask, it seemed so out of the blue bc no one rlly sends asks like this anymore. while writing this, i literally thought to myself, shes like an angel sent from heaven

[thereallamham]

A short Stevnel fic

I actually wrote this around November though I didnt know if I should post it anywhere or not

Actually

I don't even know if I was on Tumblr back then

I probably was but I dont friken remember bfksbfj

Anyway enjoy this slighty dark I guess fanfic

Also sorry if the writing is a bit 'eh' I wasn't and still am not the best writer lmao

---

Steven laid in bed with his ears straining to hear the sound again.

He didn't know what the sound was, but it sounded like a distant crack in a window or perhaps the sound of plates shattering.

It was nearly two in the morning when Steven first heard the sound, he wasn't sure if it were a fading noise from his dreams or if it were happening in real life, in the temple. He continued to wait for the sound for the next five or so minutes only to be met with silence apart from the wind blowing outside. Yawning, the boy curled up into his sheets and blankets and decided that it was just his brain playing tricks on him. Closing his eyes, he soon fell back asleep.

Not even ten minutes later, the crack was heard again, this time it sounded much more forceful and Steven was sure that it wasn't in his head. He slowly lifted himself off the bed, using his arms as support. Blinking away the fogginess from his vision, he slid off the mattress and into his red flip flops before gingerly making his way tawards the staircase.

He flinched, again, hearing another crack. It seemed like every time he'd hear it, it'd sound even more desperate than the last. The boy furrowed his brow, his thoughts running wild. Was it an intruder? Was someone trying to break it? Not that that'd be an issue of course, he did have powers after all. But the thought of a stranger, possibly with a weapon, breaking into his home made him nervous.

His thoughts were interrupted once he reached the bottom of the stairs. There standing in the darkness, only illuminated by the light of the moon, was the familiar outline of a thin, pink gem who was hunched over and seemed to be... Twitching? Shaking?

"Spinel..?" Steven called out softly.

He was immediately met with a sight that shook him to his very core. Spinel whipped around to face him, tears streaming down her cheeks, eyes as wide as the moon and as panicked as a deer caught in a vehicle's headlights. Her entire body was trembling and she seemed to be holding something very tightly and very close to her chest.

Her lips trembled as she tried to think of something to say, but all that she could manage were small sobs.

"Spinel, what happened?" Steven slowly approached the gem as to not frighten her, ultimately making her flinch and take a step back anyway.

Due to her standing in a different spot than before, Steven was able to see clearly that whatever she was holding against her chest, she didn't want him to see. Steven gulped and took another step forward, "Spinel, please answer me, I just want to know what's wrong."

By now, all of the drowsiness that he was feeling from the lack of sleep before had vanished and was now replaced with worry and fear.

Every step he took forward would cause the pink gem to take a step back. Steven could see from where he was standing that Spinel was starting to grow more and more panicked by the second, her eyes darting around frantically for some sort of escape.

Suddenly, she began running towards the warp pad. Steven did a double take before mentally screaming at his legs to chance after her.

"Spinel! Wait!"

The gem didn't even glance back. Her eyes were pinpointed on the warp pad and nothing else. She was nearly there until she was suddenly tackled to the ground by the person she wished so desperately to be away from at the moment.

Trying to ignore Spinel's cries for him to leave her alone, the first thing Steven went for was the object she was holding, which proved to be rather difficult. She was kicking frantically and arching herself away from him, only for Steven to wrap a strong arm around her mid section, trying to keep her still.

He eventually managed to grab her hands and rip away the object she had such a strong hold on. Steven paled, realizing that it was a large kitchen knife. With small fragments of pink glittered on the tip. Steven's hold on Spinel tightened as he threw the utensil as far away from them as possible, flinching as it clattered and slid across the floor.

Spinel continued to struggle against him, clawing and pulling at the arm wrapped around her waist. "S-Steven let go!" Steven released her for a second, but before Spinel was able to make a run for it, he grabbed her shoulders and pinned her firmly to the ground on her back.

The half gem's eyes widened in horror at realizing that his thoughts had been right. Spinel's gem was covered in scratches and cracks and chipped corners. Steven couldn't help but tear up at the sight.

He hadn't noticed that his hold on Spinel had loosened until he was suddenly shuved away from her. Spinel's immediate reaction was to get up and warp as far away as possible from here, but it seemed like her body went against her wishes. Instead of running to the warp, she took about two steps away from Steven before her legs gave in and she fell to the ground, shivering and gasping with sorrow.

Steven rubbed the back of his aching head with a groan before setting his eyes on the broken gem. She was on her side, curled up into a small ball with her fingers pulling sharply at her hair, and Steven could see so clearly that she was trying to contain her sobs.

He slowly made his way over to her, placing a comforting hand on her side, "Spinel, please," he began, "let me heal your gem before it gets worse." He begged her softly. She didn't respond. Steven frowned before sliding a hand underneath her small form and lifting her up to lean her forehead against his chest. She didn't complain.

The boy began to rub slow, comforting circles along her back, murmuring words of enlightenment to ease her whimpers.

It went on like this for a good twenty or so minutes. With Steven just rocking them back and forth while telling her over and over again that everything was okay. Spinel eventually calmed down and reduced her cries to small sniffles. Steven's mind was still focused on healing Spinel's gem, but everytime he made a move to do so, she'd cover it and burry her face into his chest. Sighing, he decided to try once more.

"Spinel?" He began quietly.

Spinel blinked but didn't respond.

"Please, Spinel. Let me heal your gem, I just want to help you."

Again, he was met with silence. Gulping and growing silently nervous, he hugged her rather tightly. "please." he uttered, more to himself than Spinel. The gem sighed and shakily pushed herself away from him. They stared into each others eyes for a moment, studying each others facial expressions. Steven looked tired, worried and confused. Spinel looked tired as well, but also hopeless and weak. She tore her gaze away from him and lifted up one of her hands to feel her broken gem. She ran her fingers over each of the cracks, fighting the urge to scratch at them and make the cuts deeper. She couldn't help but notice Steven flinch everytime she gently clawed at it.

She gulped before turning back to face him, "okay.." she moved her hand away from her gem, "you can heal it.."

Steven smiled and gripped her shoulders to pull her closer towards him, "thank you, Spinel.."

Spinel forced a smile before looking away once more, not wanting to see Steven gently press his lips onto her gem. A shiver ran through her body. And just like that, all the damage she had done was gone. She saw Steven carefully examine it to make sure that every crack and cut was indeed gone. Spinel couldn't help but heat up under his gaze.

"Do you want to come with me? To my room?" He asked, silently hoping she'd say yes. Who knows what she'd try to do while she was alone again. Fortunately, she nodded her head in agreement.

[geminijackdaw]

Fanfic Author Asks

Tagged by @bereft-of-frogs​! 

I... have a really hard time being positive about my own writing, but I tried OTL 

Author Name: I’m KiwiMeringue pretty much everywhere! I might change it to this one sometime? But I’ve changed it before and I don’t want to keep like, switching all the time OTL I should probably just have called it like KiwiWrites or something, but the thing about this username is I just thought it was cute and unintentionally led a bunch of people to assume I was from New Zealand which is patently false advertising and very disappointing when it turns out I’m Canadian xD; 

Fandoms you Write for: I’ve got stories published for the MCU, and Naruto!  Uhhh I’m blanking on things I’m famiiliar enough with to write for but there are a bunch? Critical role, the adventure zone, Good omens, netflix she-ra., maybe? Homestuck, but more @mr-alice and I’s fantrolls and kids, who still have a huge place in my heart, more than canon.  

Where you post: I’m kiwimeringue on AO3 and FF.net, and then any like small prompt fills I’d probably leave here, 

Most Popular One-shot: Hands down, it’s Therapy Dog.  In which a young Hatake Kakashi deals with grief, survivor’s guilt, or PTSD by acquiring an irresponsible number of dogs. (Disclaimer: this does not work irl if you’re not a magic dog whisperer with a large property out of town) 

Favourite Story You Wrote:  This is as far as I got and this has been sitting in my drafts for days because I really, really struggle with this. I have a hard time being proud of anything I write. I guess it’s Therapy dog, becuase it’s definitely the one that’s resonated best with people, and probably my best example of “Look, I wrote a fanfic!” without having to qualify it with a bunch of asterisks. 

I have given myself a self-imposed deadline of from October 1st to halloween to finish a prompt that I got from @portraitoftheoddity​ in her discord server, (it’s not SUPER spooky, but it’s tenuously thematically appropriate enough that I’m making it my project for the month xD) if I can pull this off, it will be this one. It should be fun. 

Story You Were Nervous to Post: ALL OF THEM. Time I had some Time Alone (TIHSTA) is like a self-indulgent au of a self indulgent au, and I;m amazed anyone enjoyed it xD It got more of a response that Undying Fidelity (UF), the fic from which is is derived, did, for a while, which surprised me. I sort of what to qualify that I started this before I found the incredible corner of the MCU writer’s fandom that I currently frequent, so uh... this is very much Disney Grandmaster. This is Jeff Goldblum in space. Which is what I’m comfortable writing, but feels really pale and inconsequential in contrast to the horrifically vivid and rich dark carnival of twisted Grandmaster fan content that exists, like welcome to fucking weenie hut Jr’s, population: me. 

How Do You Pick Your Titles: With great difficulty and much waffling! Kintsugi is named for thematic relevance that... I haven’t actually gotten to yet but it’s about to become stupid literal anyone who read version 1.0 knows how I mean this. But the idea of things history, and damage being inextricably linked to them, but that the thing can go on anyway, changed but not ruined, there’s recurring imagery and points of fault lines, places where things have been weakened, but that these are important and necessary. 

I don’t feel like I have to explain Therapy Dog xD it’s about coping with grief... with dogs. 

Undying Fidelity is like, painfully obvious, but it’s what I had started calling it, and it just. stuck. Obviously from Loki’s like... second last line in IW, and Sigyn’s title in the Marvel Comics. I’m kind of wishing I’d chosen something else, because there are definitely other fics with the same title, and it’s the name of a song from the IW soundtrack that is... less than fun. For obvious reason. I mean it’s perfect for what it was used for, but it’s not a “ahhh gonna pop this one on for a listen” kind of piece. I still can’t think of anything better, though we’re kind of in a weird place because I don’t quite have all the cards on the table, yet. On Loki’s end though,I’m hoping that I’ve sufficiently established this like... tenuous vestigial little flicker of affection that he’s been able to more or less ignore, but that simply would not go out, despite how much easier that would have been, that’s been given a little room to breathe now. (I could definitely go on trying to justify this for paragraphs, so I’ll stop now xD). Thematic chapter naming is another thing I love to inflict on myself and I always regret it, though I love it so much when other people do it, ahhh. UF’s chapters are all named after cards of the Major Arcana in the Tarot. I’m going to get to one eventually and you’re all going to see why I did this, and you’re all going to hate me and I deserve it xD 

Time I Had Some Time Alone is the thing that’s repeated at the end of REM’s :”It’s the end of the world as we know it” and does sort of describe our reluctant hero’s state at the beginning xD Thriving in his completely self centered backstabbing Littlefinger party hellscape. (I went off on a huge tangent here that I have removed, I may make it its own post). Anyway, more thematic chapter naming, everything’s based on some apocalyptic or post-apocalyptic story. So 21 Days later (since for Loki it felt like three weeks) instead of 28, and chapter two is now titled “beyond thunderdome” because of course it is. (it was “the man come around” for like, THE ARRIVAL OF DEATH  but that uh... that’s going to be a later chapter now). 

Fic-in-planning stages will be called some variant of “Again, from the Top”? Take it from the top? ugh I’m trying to evoke like... redoing a scene. 

There was also Errant, my NaNoWriMo story from like 2012 or something? xD It was about a bunch of idiots that were basically an RPG party in a shitty High fantasy bullshit setting. So like, as in, “a knight errant” wandering in search of adventure, but also in the sense of like like... they’re a bunch of dumbasses making mistakes. 

Do you Outline: Yes! I definitely need to be more organized about it because my outlines are like these stupid irreverent event sequences that involve me remembering nuance way too well. Like for Kintsugi especially I’m scared I’ll have forgotten important minutia that I didn’t bother including becauyse oh pfft, of course I’ll remember that. And then I ...dont. My initial outlines for UF were an excel spreadsheet with scenes in various tiem periods that I dragged and dropped all over the place xD It was SUPPOSED to be thematically relevant paired scenes, with one part of each chapter being zset in the past and one half on the statesman and it just... did not work out that way. 

How Many of Your Stories are complete: One! And it’s the one-shot! FML!

In-Progress:  Undying Fidelity: Currently working on chapter 10 out of 22 TIHSTA: 2 out of... probably 4+ epilogue? Kintsugi: 13/Mayyybe like 30 something?

Coming Soon: From the Top is in its planning stages~! 

Do You Accept Prompts: Absolutely! I can’t guarantee that a prompt is going to like... spark writing? in me? But I’m always open to the idea. And that doesn’t mean that an idea is bad or anything! Just like, can I, personally, take this idea and run with it somewhere. 

Upcoming Story You’re the Most Excited For: Probably from the top, though I am two chapters out from part of of UF I am reeeeeally looking forward to writing :D 

Tag Five Fanfic Authors to Answer These Questions: I don’t know who’s been tagged already, I’m so bad at this, so uhh~ If you have been already, or if you just don’t feel like it, please disregard this! And if I don’t tag you but you feel like it, go for it!  @teleris-night @malicemanaged @cosmicmewtwo @not-so-terrible and @ramblingredrose 

[thothscripture-archive-blog]

ooc; You know, I never thought anyone would like Thoth other than my group of friends who gave him a chance. I was so nervous with him, that I tried to make him a weaker character and I just couldn’t do that haha. I’m still nervous about him, but I want you all to know...

Thank you. From the bottom of my heart, I really am thankful. From the fan art, to the threads, to meeting so many wonderful people, I think it’s time to shine a light on those who I’ve chatted with, and gotten to know as well! Even if it’s just a simple hello, it makes my day. You guys are all wonderful, and I’m beyond happy over this. I was going to make a 100 follower and then the followers skyrocketed before I could haaa... ^^;;;

Anyway, these people below the cut? They really are cool.

But so are all my followers, even if we don’t talk!

@avoiided, 

Preshie mun! You’re Gaster terrifies me, not like bad dreams terrifying but he is a really well developed villain! He just is so wonderful to interact with, and I love our threads, no matter the blog! Let’s not forget how you’re a sweetheart either! I feel like I spam ya too much haha, anxiety man- BUT YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL! Keep being you :D <3

(I still can’t believe Thoth had a mini crush on Gaster and they could have been nerdy friends if the judgement ever happened aaaaaaa)

 @curioosity, @snackiies

Azura mun! I am still vastly scared to chat with you, but I want you to know, I do mean the words I say ^^ You may be feeling down right now, but... I think you’re a great person. I really mean that, you’re oc is very well fleshed out and very engaging! I adore seeing you on the dash, and your art- and your posts! I hope things brighten up for you! You need a good day, and I hope you get it!

@sixfingersixtails, 

I really adore your concept and I’m glad you’re one of my friends! Sixer is adorable, and Thoth absolutely wants to spoil him! And pet him, seriously how many times have they ended up curled up together haaa. But the depth of your stories and fanfic are amazing and I love reading every chapter! Keep up the amazing work! <3

@softashfuck, @goodster,

I hope you had a good birthday kiddo! I love ya, you’re the son I wish that was here for I could spoil you some more. Seriously, anyway, I love your character and your interpretations and the fact you spam me with such lovely art ;w; so nice. I swear I’m going to keep spamming you right on back! <3

Okay but I mean it, I do care a lot about you and I do see you as my kid. Seriously, if I could scoop you up I would. <3

@all-seeing-all-knowing-eye, @br00kie-draws

BROOOOOKIE! Okay, first off. When I first met you, I was highly nervous and scared, I met you through an ex-friend that showed me your art and since then I am so glad I met you. Our ships are adorable, they have bumpy roads and that’s what makes them enjoyable, they arent perfect, and that’s just how a good ship should be. Not to mention your art?! Like DAYUM GIRL. Such a good, best friend too, always listening to me ramble! Love ya! <3

OUR SHIPS ARE ALSO A BLESSING thoug so yea!

OH AND ALSO HOW DARE YOU GIVE ME ICONS ON RANDOM LIKE THE SANS ONES, ;w; I cry, I cry with joy

@s-k-e-t-c-h-y-m-e-s-s, 

I know we don’t talk as much these days, I know you’re busy but I still check up on your art! (I really should finish that gif I made omgosh) But you are also a very nice person, and a wonderful artist!

@splinter-sister, 

Rach.... I gotta be honest. I love you, and I think without you these last years or so, I don’t think I’d be around. I was in a really bad patch, and thinking things I shouldn’t. I let my thoughts almost win but you pulled me out of there. You helped me in so many ways, you even sent money through the mail cuz of my situation. I feel like I can never thank you enough because you really are my best friend and I honestly don’t know what I’d do if you suddenly disappeared one day. I know work is hard on you, but you’re such a great person and you know what, I’m proud of you. <3

AND THEN THERE’S THE SHIPS OKAY

Thoth and Rachael, Rachael and Rich/Neal, Rachael and--- Wait no that’s it. I think, maybe. We ship a lot, I blame our shipness. lmao Love it all!

@buy-gold-bye, 

Lye! I’m still vastly nervous to chat you up and that’s why I go silent cuz my nerves kick my ass but you are such a cool person! And your art? A++++

@derse-agent,  @wd-blaster,

Heya! I like your stuff! It’s really cool, and I know I owe you some things, don’t worry I didn’t forget! I just want you to know, you’re a really cool blog and thank you for joining the streams at times! LAOS YOUR GASTER IS ADORABLE OKAY

@scientistofthevoid, 

AAAAAAH?! For one I totally ship Tenny and Lotus now, I love how Tenny turns to mush at the very sight of my pretty boi. Not to mention t’s us so sugar sweet~! With some deviousness in there. Okay but on top of that, I love your characters, and the art, the fact you have put a lot of effort in your things and you’re a great friend! <3

@xenoasks, 

Okay so, I love your art and the fact your Gaster is different fom others and you put time and effort into your creations and just YESSSSS. It’s amazing, and I love it and you’re really cool!

@stealthnerd

your art is realy cool and you are officially a senpai. I love the way you draw man, and I enjoy seeing you on the dash!

@of2814, 

Apaaaattthhhyyyyyy, I miss ya, and I should deff mesage you more! Omgosh,and always drag you to more streams for you can succumb to the siliiness again! I love your Parallax! Hal and nomal Hal and the one time we rp’d where Venom was also Hal sdsfgb All the good stuff and I STILL REMEBER OUR SHIP OF SIOBHAN AND HAL <3

@theirmercy, 

Okay so we’re still getting to know each other but you are an absolute delight!? AND YOU HAVE AN AMAZING SANS AND I LOVE HOW YOU WRITE AND I’M GOING TO KEEP RAMBLING IN CAPS FOR YOU UNDERSTAND HOW YOU ARE AN IDOL HUN. <3

@ask-mystery-shack-cipher, 

FOXIE AND HEALER!!! Healer, I love the way you write and Foxie? Hun, I wish I could draw like you. You two are really good friends and I’m sorry I haven’t een overly chatty? But I watch your content all the time! <3 You guys also helped me get rid of a toxic ex-friend and I’m grateful for that, you have no idea! Thank you for giving me strength!

@lastinggaster, 

YOU ARE SUCH A SWEET PERSON!? You drew my boi, you chat with me, we rp- You are a delight! I want to invite you to all the streams and groups and let everyone marvel at your amazingness!

@lackadaisicaldenial, 

Okay we don’t chat as I do with others but I’d love to? I’d love to also thread with you and I’m sorry if I didn’t answer that meme! It’s there staring at me like a deer in the middle of the road omg! But we should plot, on any of my blogs!

@evilgsanchez, 

Okay so I loved our interactions with your Evil Rick and my Rick, I’m sorry that hes inactive right now, I’m trying to rile him back up but it’s just hard for me idk why- (been on an undertale kick tbh, aaaaa) BUT YOU WRITE AMAZINGLY AND BLOW MY FUCKING MIND LIKE OMG, HELLO SENPAI

@elooplvfklhiflskhu, 

We just recently started talking but hey! I love your art from what I’ve seen keep up the amazing work okay? And don’t worry about messaging me, It’s all okay fi you want to :D I dont bite

@rubentheruler, 

**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, screeching** 

Your art is still amazing and I am highly nervous to talk with you but you are a sweety and I aspire to be like you!

@unspeakablyevil, 

I would really like to chat with ya! And plot, and write! You seem to have an amazing Aku and it’s wonderful to see you on my dash!

@void-dad, 

 I love Trashy and I would really like to thread with ya. Your character is cute and well rounded, and I enjoy his story. Plus you’re a good person :D

@purplepimpryda,  

BROTHER OF MINE I LOVE YA. I enjoy how hard you work on everything, even back when you wrote Joker. How we shipped, I still remember every moment despite my shit for brains memory hahaha. It’s wonderful and so are you and I’m glad you got out of your bad situation and are doing better and got things going for ya now! I love you, and I am very proud.

@pinkheartmelodi, 

I LOVE YOUR BLOG OKAY? I read everything ^^;;; Haaa, I do, and it’s great. I’m kind of a side liner and I need to change that becuause Melodi is a cutie and I should totally spam you with more asks!

@paitakoyaki, 

PAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII *SCREECHING INT THE SUNSET*

I miss our clown days, but I love how you draw still and I should message you more often, I miss ya buddy. You were and still are an amazing fiend and I aspire to draw how soft you do, those lines man mmmf, good stuff right there. Also Penance and Sorrow should hang out again.

@blackhxt, 

SILVER HOW DARE YOU SINK ME THIS DEEP INTO VILLAINOUS

YOU MADE ME LOVE SO MANY DIFFERENT VERSIONS OF THE SHIPS, THE LORE, AND I’M SCREECHING AT YOU NOW. Oka but White Hat and Slug yessss, Flug and Black Hat, yesss, but my favorite...

Is the one I never expected. My fanfic’s Bill Cipher, dubbed ‘Glitch’ and Black Hat. I can’t believe they have two kids now and they recently hatched and are going to destroy the world. Cute little guys.

But you’re also a great friend! Seriously, amazing! <3

@cubicscubedemon, 

Okay so I didn’t know anything of your muses but I saw you on the dash and I followed and I DO NOT REGRET THAT BECAUSE I LOVE THE WAY YOU TAKE YOUR CHARACTERS AND HOW MUCH STORY YOU PUT INTO THEM AND HOW MUCH WORK AND XKSHJBDCSFVGFMBH YOU ARE AMAZING <3

@storyteller-arc/ @smol-goop, 

*inhale* B O I. Okay but on a serious note I love your Gaster, I love your oc. Storyteller, Gaster Grim likes them but not only that they managed to get Thoth to like them, he also likes smol as well. You have a really good character set it just attracts my characters like a magnet hahaha

Not to mention you are a adelight! Absolute delight!

@hannah-the-small, 

*takes a deep breath* HOW CAN I EVEN BEGIN TO WRITE ON YOU!?

You are an idol to me. You are someone who has developed their entire set of ocs so much that I wish I could put that much effort without feeling nervous like hot dayum. You have suhc a good thing going, and I ust wanna punch Dick, hug him as well, punch him again- and also adopt ames and Hannah, and Eight- and the heroes, and Black Hat, and Dave, and all of them and HOW DARE YOU MAKE ME LOVE ALL THESE BBIES

@glitchster404, 

GLITCHSTER IS ADORABLE!

I really do love how sweet they are and also the thread on Sans how he was commanded and i ended up being really cute and I just lve it all. You also have wonderful art and you are really dang sweet, <3 <3

@billrick, 

okay....okay... I love your entire thing going on with ER, and I would love to write with you. I don’t even care what blog omgosh because you are an absoute steklar star on here, and Imma call you senpai til you perish cuz DAMN. Look at those headcanons, DAYUM look at those posts and stories and AUs and the past and 70 years worht of stuff and AAAAAAAA

A M A Z I N G 

@a-vf-vi-tf-ti,  @deep-black-dreaming​

AAAAAA? I love your ocs, I love our rps and ideas on discord but we should deff rp here on tumblr again! Lemme drag you down with me on here muhahahahah, ALSO YOU’RE ANOTHER CULPRIT FOR GETTING ME DEEP INTO VILLAINIOUS AND I LOVE IT

@omnituent,

*stares at you deeply, squints*

Imma kick your Black Hats ass again just you watch. BUT ON A SIDE NOTE! OMG CAN WE THREAD ON HERE TOO? Discord is wonderful man man, I’d love to take it to tumblr, if you’re okay with that! I’ll even dust off my WH just for that reason :D

@igxitixn

You’re character seems swet and we should send some asks to each other ore often! I hope you’re having a wonderful day and I would love to get to know you more!

@dalearmitage

I know you thanks to Brookie and your character is amazing but I’m highly nervous to bug you nad for that I am very sory and I hope that we can chat more!

@an-ordinary-roach,

You have such a cute oc and I want to know all about them! We thread here on Tthoth and Grim but man I’d spam you with even Eddie Gluskin if you’d want :D Or Jack, but Jack scares everyone and so I keep him in th corner hahaha. But the point is, I love your concept and I wanna pet th roachie

@gothamsbruja  

I remember when you were still developing your oc and it was on skype, and she had blue skin but now she covers up the blue skin and she is really great. I think you did amazing with her!

@hsheaddogs

Hey I just met you and aI think you guys are great. Sans and you, really cool! Thanks for joining the stream the other day and I hope to thread with you more! I mean it, and I should say hi to you more often on discord ^^  You seem great!

@gummypeculiar

YOUR CHARACTER IS SUPER CUTE AND I LOVE THEM AND I WOULD LOVE TO WRITE WITH YOU SO MUCH MORE EVEN THOUGH WE ALREADY WRITE ON sANS AND I JUST LOVE THEM AND WANNA KNOW ALL I CAN!

[judaru]

Year End Writing Progress Meme

Ahh, I’ve seen a lot of people in the magi fandom doing @dragonofeternal​‘s writing meme, and it looked really fun so I thought that I would give it a shot! This year has been really fun for me in terms of writing, and I’ve never really written much before like, September of this year, so I thought it would be fun to reflect on all of the writing and improvement that I’ve done this year!  ♡

[Here is my AO3 in case anyone was wondering! I write a lot of Sinju while crying I just… I just want them to be happy so bad *prayer emoji*]

Total Word Count: 77,415 -AO3: 61,873 -WIPs: 4,000 -Planning: 11,542

Total Projects: 14 (most are still just planning tho OTL) Magi: 14 (I also have planning for some Arslan Senki and Twin Signal stuff, but that’s the kind of self-indulgent thing that won’t ever get posted and lives at the bottom of my drafts, so I didn’t think it was worth mentioning ^^;)

Types of Fanfic Projects: -Chaptered Fics: 2 -Oneshots: 5 -WIP/Unposted: 7

Improvement over last year: Infinity LMAO I didn’t really write anything last year! I kinda dabbled in Edvy and stuff but… I don’t really talk about that anymore lmao

AWARDS

Top 3 projects I wrote the most for: 1) Melt (49,629) 2) Mistletoe (3,006) 3) Stay (2,386) (I guess it’s pretty easy to tell where all my effort went… lmaO)

Top 3 most popular by kudos: 1) Melt (150) 2) Stay (47) 3) Ocean’s Kiss (31) (tbh I’m like… really overwhelmed with all of the kudos I’ve gotten ghsudfksfsd I was honestly expecting like a dozen odd kudos and a paperclip because I’ve really just.. never posted writing before?? So the positive feedback was really overwhelming and I cry a lot LMAO)

Top 3 most popular by comment threads: 1) Melt (62) 2) Ocean’s Kiss (11) 3) Stay (6) (Obviously Melt won out because… I’ve put my whole life into it lmaO but I was really really surprised that the Mermaid AU did so well?? Everyone seemed to really like that one kdfjsfs so I’m really excited to write more of it in the coming months !!)

Most fun to write: Oh man rfsjdkhgj I have a lot of fun writing in general aaaaaah that’s why I post so much and clog the archive all the time omg I’m sorry? I think the winner is probably Ocean’s Kiss, my Sinju mermaid AU :’) The concept of a mermaid AU has always been very dear to my heart–the first thing I ever did in magi fandom was actually a mermaid AU rp with my friend–so I had planned to write it from the beginning, tbh? It just took me a while to get to, but it’s just so so much fun to write, I think Judal definitely fits the role of troublemaking siren, with Sinbad as his idiot pirate of course :’) god i love them im gonna start crying Sexiest moment: lmao im 15 and inexperienced and really, really not good at writing sexy scenes sorry @ all of my readers who arent minors hgrfudkfhfj but I guess Burn was fun to write lmao? it was masshar and it was supposed to have a blowjob scene but then i remembered that.. i dont know how to write porn.. so it was just needy sharrkan and grinding gudfkjfsdhc but it was fun i guess Funniest moment: im literally not good at any of these hdiufks my humor scenes fall SO FLAT i hate it but i was laughing at myself in the mermaid au because every time judal smacked sinbad in the face with his tail i felt 10 years being added onto my lifespan tbh.. i was cackling ND ALSO in melt any time ja’far is talking to sinbad about judal frsdkjgvhd i liked those scenes.. every time ja’far said shit like “i mean he’s cute but he can’t be here sin” i laughed @ myself Hardest to write: group settings ugh please kill me i hate when im writing and there’s twelve people in the scene like i’m bound to forget 7 of them its just the nature of the beast? exhausting. like every chapter in melt where there’s a festival and all the generals are there is so harD for me *eyeroll emoji* and i have one more festival scene planned so its gonna have to happen AGAIN and im gonna suffer Big Time™ Biggest Disappointment: i vastly underestimated both the size and demand for masshar fic and i was kinda sad when it only got like 5 kudos hrifgj i really thought there was still a masshar ship community but there wasNT and it flopped lmao. but i still like writing masshar and honestly i’d probably do it again tbh? it was still fun :^) Most Surprising: ocean’s kiss hdsufkfgs lmao that thing got comments from people who hadn’t showed up in the sinju fandom for months to years and i was crying the whole time.. it was a fic that meant a lot to me too so the fact that it got so much sweet feedback really made me  ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ Favorite story of the year: probably melt tbh :,) i put my heart and soul into that fic and the fact that it did much, much better than i’d first anticipated just made me so happy ♡ its about halfway done now and I can’t wait to tell the rest of it!! i have so many plans I am crying Something I want to revisit: like, half the chapters in melt ghfudeilfjge anD ALSO THE HOLIDAY AUS i wrote them when i was really sad and upset for Reasons so they weren’t as cheery as i would’ve liked :( first snow was cuter because it was posted later and i was happier then but.. mistletoe was written when i was :V about a lot of things so I’d like to rewrite it someday.. maybe next christmas :’)

What writing risks did I take and how did they pay off: I.. honestly didn’t take that many risks? I think the biggest risk that I ever could’ve taken was to write for myself. I really really tried to write only things that made me happy, and I was really nervous as to how the reception of that would be, but it turned out really well!! I’ve got a lot of sweet comments and feedback from readers, and the response was more than I every could’ve asked for  ♡ Writing goals for 2017: my goal is to finish Melt before the end of the school year, preferably before the end of April. I also just really wanna try harder to stick to my freaking update schedule because, like, some people are banging out a solid 7k every week, people with JOBS, and I’m still in high school and I can barely finish my measly 4k by Sunday ghfdklrgjdj. I just need to work harder on time management tbh, but overall I just wanna write more in 2017!

This was really fun to do!! Thanks again to dragonofeternal for sharing their template, I think doing these meme really helped me get my thoughts together and decide where to go with my writing in 2017. I can’t wait to write more for the new year! ♡