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blogofloathing · 10 months ago

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Part 2 of 3! Formless And Unknowing, Nothing

I didn't understand, what was going on, why did this hurt, this wasn't a scripted injury, this hurt.

Not like makeup, not the prosthetic wounds of losing a fight, I felt my body failing me, I felt it,

Blood poured from me, coagulated and dark, it flowed in a sickening way unlike anything.

Why was there so much blood, my body rattled uncontrollably, shock rapdily setting in.

Why wasn't I pulled backstage, the play ended.

This went against everything I knew, everything I'd been lead to believe, this was impossible. Right?

I didn't know who I was asking this to, maybe god, but there was no being close to answer me.

None of this was supposed to be happening, it wasn't part of this scene, I looked up at Doc.

Her eyes blazing with fury greater than a hellcow, I sitting in reverence, on my knees as if praying.

She cocked the shotgun again, the sound made me wince, I opened my mouth to beg, but nothing.

For a moment I attempted to speak, gurgling on my own blood, all that came out was a groan.

And at last god delivered his judgement, in the form of another two rounds pluming my brains out into an arc across the ceiling and throne behind.

Red trickling down my face, obscuring my eye, I sat there, crumpled in a heap on the floor,

the rest of me sat elsewhere around the room, chunks of my scalp dripping off the ceiling.

Splintered bones and flayed skin clung to my matted hair, staining my clothes a deep maroon.

The skeletons around us had gone silent, now only the chattering of my own shattered jaw gave theme to the scene, a symphony to my undoing.

A horrifying terror gripped me, I was dying, this wasn't gonna end in me waking up tommorow.

I was afraid, for the first time since leaving home that fateful day, I felt fear, my mortality made clear

Why did I ever want this, why did I work towards a final end like this, not like this, not this pain.

I don't want to die, I didn't want to die, not like this.

In a moment a white hot anger formed in my dying brain, a defiant scream against this fate, matching the flames of my companion, that demented old..

We'd played this same silly game for so long, had she grown tired of the routine too, why wouldn't I have noticed, was I that focused on myself..

Who does she think she is, killing me? After an eternity of being unwilling, why now?

When I've just about reached my goal? Now is when she decided to break character?

The world seemed to have screeched to a halt after the second shot, the foolish doctor standing there, with a hate in her eyes, so caustic it seemed to spill out of her and disintegrate everything it touched.

And me, torn to pieces on the floor of my throne room, this can't be how the performance ends.

The crack of gunfire still rang deafeningly in my remaining ear, the last noise I would ever hear?

Rumbling shook the floor at our feet, evidently my own necromancy was fading from these bones.

Just as I felt the last vestiges of my consciousness curl up and blow away into ashes, for a moment I saw Doc's mouth twitch, she was about to speak.

I kneeled in anticipation, how could she.. what would she even, there was nothing to say.

With a stutter like the ruffling of a newspaper, I found myself suddenly enveloped in darkness

Looking around, surprisingly through two eyes, I attempted to touch my own body, and where I thought it was, my hands went right through.

There was no sound, not even the low hum of my circulatory system, pure and total silence,

My meaningless words fell deaf upon this void, I couldn't even tell if my eyes were open or not now.

This was seemingly complete nothingness, I couldn't even see my own hands infront of my face

That is if I still had any, being far less than a ghost.

and so I waited, I waited, I waited, I waited for what could've been five minutes or a thousand millennia.

I stared into total blackness, deeper than any color in life, I stared for centuries until my eyes fell out

I screamed for a hundred lifetimes until my lungs dried up, I kicked I punched I flailed, until my legs and arms shriveled away, until I was nothing

Nothing in a sea of emptiness, true nonexistence, a single minuscule brain floating throughout.

I floated there, withering away until time looped all the way back around from start to finish.

The universe came and went, and came again, but I was outside it, experiencing none of it.

Until one day, no, one moment, in an infinite library of every moment that ever has and ever will occur.

Something, was within this nothing, something that wanted something, with me, here in nothing

I felt a hulking movement within the void, as if a titan gone completely unseen until now had lowered its head to look straight down at me.

You are Rittle Murts are you not, it warbled throughout the unending cosmos, not a question

The.. noise? Rattled whatever remained of my physicality, it was less speech, more so an implanting of feelings interpreted by my brain.

I couldn't speak, my mouth had long since turned into mindless particles, as with the rest of myself.

but it reassured me I didn't need to, we are special you and I, it told me. Even still, I didn't quite get it.

It taught me everything I had ever known and ever would know, I believe we share a common goal.

Do you agree, once again, already knowing what my answer would be, it didn't wait for a response.

Perfect, will you do as needed. This, finally was, a genuine question, and so I hesitated for a moment

It sure seemed like this thing was my only ticket out of here, surely nothing was worse than this.

It communicated ill intent towards me if I should choose to differ, I couldn't dream of anything comparable to this endless infinity. Even death, would be a welcome end to this. At this thought,

The moving shadow made something clear to me, oh no no, it is not time yet, you're necessary.

Necessary for what? I questioned, unsure if the being could even hear what I was thinking.

Receiving no response, it seemed to be waiting for me to continue, it knew I would have more to say,

I'm telling you I've already done everything this world has to offer, I'm here because it's over.

The abyssal form seemed to find this funny, it was wrong to say it laughed, more so intimated an amusement at the very notion I'd presented.

Au contraire Rittle, there's much more to be done.

So I thought yes, and although it had no physical self to show it, I could feel this great beast smile.

And in the same vein, felt my own lips curl into a grin, and its thoughts become my thoughts.

Flexed my newly assigned limbs, clasped my hands into fists, open and close open and close.

We laughed, every soul in the universe seemed to let free in this manic expression of mirth.

This feeling, of being connected throughout the chilled hearts of a trillion souls, this was power.

That old quack, did she think a shotgun was effective enough pesticide, this nest ran far deeper than one man nor a million men, with I at the helm.

"Shall we do as needed?" My minds thought, my mouths spoke, my arms gestured, as needed.

And for the first time chronologically, i was born.

Wrenched unceremoniously into yet another dark emptiness, but this time, I could see something.

There were distant flashes of lights, barren rocks, ice, and dust. There wasn't oxygen, but I breathed

A deep deep sigh of relief, finally, this is what I had been working towards, this is what it all lead up to!

Part 2 of 3 END, Part 3 Coming Very Very Soon!!

#original character #original writing #shadows over loathing #west of loathing #sol #wol #writing #oc character #writers on tumblr #creative writing #writer #writerscommunity #writeblr #writers and poets #shadows over loathing oc #sol oc #short story

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blogofloathing · 9 months ago

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Part 1 of 1, Victoria And The Bespectacled Girl

"Got anything on your line?" Gesturing vaguely in Walter's direction with her back turned to him.

He paused, as if maybe Victoria had summoned a fish with her query, but the rod stayed slack.

"m'nope, maybe they're gone fishin'" he coughed, letting out a joke so dad she didn't even bother with a lighthearted sigh in admonishment.

And in any case her lungs were busy working, as she dug through another large hill of refuse,

Bottles and wrappers, shopping carts, broken glass and jagged metal, but still no food.

These dubious materials clinging to each other with whatever weird algae grew in these parts.

For a moment she thought she felt something, but one again it was snatched back by whatever spirit had brought it out to her in the first place.

And finally she wrenched herself free of the garbage heap, sat dam to the river, her only findings were a new set of scrapes along her arms.

An unpleasant risk when scavenging, though she found the scratching to be oddly satisfying

"Walt I'm tellin' ya these fish ain't bite these days!"

Her companion giving a strained sort of chuckle, something between tobacco and weed.

It was a wonder you couldn't see clouds billow out when he spoke, to obscure his patchy stubble.

"Mm, maybe we need to pick a new spot.." the words themselves glancing around the little hovel,

Recollecting her favorite graffiti or nastiest gash.

She paced around idly, shoes providing less than comfort with soles long since worn out.

This had been their spot, finding a pile of trash comfortable enough to sleep on took time!

But she couldn't deny that if the fish had run dry, and not due to being cooked, something would have to change soon,

"I'm cool with whatever though" Walter added, a disclaimer just incase his plan didn't work out.

Victoria stood thinking for some time, it's not like she had much to move,

She could count her possessions on one hand, half of which accounted for the clothes on her back.

The rest summing up to Walter's various bags of supposed bait—and though she questioned the quality of his selection—it had worked until now.

She allowed those fish one last rain check before Bus Victoria would depart.. and..

"Urgg okay! Let's go!" Her exclamation a symbolic and literal stomping of her foot.

Walter's face maintained a neutral, calm smile, as she began marching around.

"m'all I've got's my fisher pole, so just let me know" Walter mumbled, taking a debatably deserved rest.

Back flat against the bridges support beam, it was so old she wondered if he would collapse it.

The whole setting was a minefield of rusty metal and discarded items tossed over the railing.

Which lended well to the hobo lifestyle, someone's always too full to finish their food, and equally too lazy to seek out a trashcan.

And when that didn't work, Walter knew his way around the fishing pole.

This is how the pair had subsisted until new government regulations swooped in to sever this lifeline, making it illegal to actually fish in the river.

Signs were pegged all around warning passersby that to catch anything here was punishable by law

Including those same signs, sitting in piles nearby. Transformed into yet another nameless trash pile.

She set her hands together and closed her eyes,

"Please let there be food soon" both to herself and any god watching, a quiet prayer, just incase

Maybe some divine inspiration would come down and show her how to fix her life somehow,

Victoria had let herself become comfortable here, stupidly, of course this was unsustainable.

She just didn't think it would have to end so soon, despite all evidence, she had remained optimistic.

What if their next spot was flat too, or one of them got sick? Either would be a death sentence

These worries and tragedies-to-come swirled in her head, a violent rapid of her own making.

Rendering her mute in this airless terrarium.

She wordlessly "packed" her things, sure that Walter had said something—probably another stupid joke—but even the river din was inaudible

It felt like her life had all been building up to one big explosion, with her at its centerpoint,

An auto pilot careening herself right towards the nearest mountain, "god this sucks"

Said to no one in particular, but all the same Walter wilted back "amen to that sister"

The two of them giving a limply disconnected fist bump, an unspoken friendship with the air.

Though even if they had touched, Victoria knew she was far too insulated to enjoy his warmth.

She wandered around the small bit of land they called home, trying to take everything in

To grab every piece of herself she'd strewn about in her short time here, it was all so scattered

Like every night here had taken another minuscule of herself and plastered it onto the concrete,

Victoria almost wanted to resent this place, for coddling her, allowing her a short rest.

Like the bridge itself had deceived her, but all the same she knew it was her fault in the end.

Once again standing still in the eye of her storm, surely she was used to this by now right?

She hadn't even noticed her pace halt, as if these lingering thoughts had slowed her to a stop

The careful drag of the wind against her hulking fears and great unknowable anxieties.

Maybe this was how it was supposed to be, she'd been homeless almost as long as she'd been.

Maybe it was just the way the world worked, the losers lose, and the people up top throw their trash down on them. Out of sight out of mind.

This contemplation carried her right back into pacing, a dead man's trot, rendering her oblivious to anything around her but the weight in her heart.

Oblivious enough apparently, that she didn't see the large tread-wheeled machine in her way.

Despite its whirring and raggling, she only took notice of it when her feet had met its path.

But rather than courteously stepping to the side, it continued on, pulling dust and sand up in the air.

And out of her; an embarrassing cry of surprise, as she stumbled head over heels onto the ground.

Landing unceremoniously in a heap, adding a new scar to her already bled through knees.

She found herself staring at a pair of greasy boots, evidently belonging to the owner of the device.

"Youch! Hey watch where you're goin with that thing eh?" She clattered, rubbing her head.

As she sat up and muttered unheard profanities, sitting crossly criss cross, sans apple sauce.

"Me watch where I'm going? You almost ruined my school project being so careless!" The palid toned girl spat back, this was gonna be fun.

A sly grin gravitated onto Victorias face, "oh ho you one of them S.I.T smarty pants' huh?"

She sneered down her nose at her, despite being generally shorter on even footing.

"Yes infact I am one of 'them S.I.T smarty pants" she spoke venomously, mocking Victorias accent

"Are ya now? Well I just could never tell by ya four eyes and little gizmo here" pointedly eyeing both.

Her dark hair seemed to frizz up at the remark as if itself had felt offended on her behalf,

With a quickly reddening face and equally faltering temper she grumbled "well at least I'm educated"

"And you know I ain't? Psh, figures for an upper crust like yourself" the retort acting like a push to the chest, an overzealous verbal challenge.

Both now standing straight, Victoria looked down

"Do you even know who I am? I-" this remark pushed aside by Victorias "ohh you're one of those types huh? Well sorry missy I haven't heard of you"

Seems lucky I haven't, thought Victoria, of course some preppy trust fund kid is who she'd run into on her proverbial eviction day, "and I don't want to"

The still yet to be named girl seemed fit to burst with unpleasantries, "I'm Simone Chekhov! of the S.I.T Robotechtronics department!"

This smattering of accolades fell from her like it had been sitting right on the edge from the start.

"I've received several letters from several colleges even more prestigious but I've refused all of them because I take this field very seriously and S.I.T is the only college with a proper robotechtronics department that allows me to do what I need to do because I'm already higher level than my teachers and I'm involved in every single robotics club and related groups studying how to-"

She continued for quite a bit, Victoria had mentally tuned her out around halfway through,

A manic fire had lit in her eyes, as if she hadn't just been trying to one up this dirty hobo

At parts her expression fittingly incredulous, a fury at being questioned on her credentials,

But equally adopting a strange sort of excitement, Victoria sensed she didn't get to say all this often.

"And that's not even the half of it!" She finished, panting like her monologue had run a marathon

Victoria was partially stunned at the conclusion, just who was this girl? She wondered, even after hearing what was effectively her life story.

She glanced back at Walter for support, but all he provided was a shallow sort of thumbs up.

"I didn't understand a word of that, but congrats to ya, I'm sure your science friends love it"

A dismissive little remark, that seemed to thunk on impact with Simone, like hitting a wall

"Yeah, they do" short and snappy, a little too quick of a response, something in it trembled

"I'm sure they do.. Simmy?" Victoria said, though she remembered her name quite clearly.

"It's, Simone, thank you" something had shifted in her tone, while it hadn't been haughty before..

It was certainly more subdued, "struck a nerve eh? Figure your dorm feelin empty?" She slithered

"That's none of your bui-" a scarlet sheen leaking back into her face, gosh was she a cute one.

Victoria eyed her up and down, her hair black and glossy, strung up in two pigtails.

Giving off the effect of a disappointed rabbit with the pair tucked behind her ears.

With an oversized pair of nerd goggles sat atop like a pair of rings for a wedding.

"Look you're a real sweetheart I'm sure but me an' my pal over there-" pointing backwards to Walter in the complete wrong direction.

"Need to go find our next fishin spot-" but before Victoria could finish her exit,

Simone cut her off with a pippy sort of ahem, "you do know fishing in the lake is-"

"Illegal yeah and unless you have a machine that grows fish, you can shove it"

Simone looked a bit shocked at the expression on her face, but hit back with.

"Well if you knew anything about robotechtronics you'd know that's not how it works!"

"Well I don't need to know a thing about it because it's not a field worth pursuing!"

The two let out a growl of frustration, moving closer, their words circling each other like lions.

"At least I'm not living under a bridge!"

"Well la dee da misses richy rich here!"

"I'll have you know I worked hard to get into this college! Something you clearly wouldn't get!"

"Oh it's real easy to get, you put together a few nuts and bolts and now you're a fuckin genius!"

Simone had an almost hilarious expression of indignation, as if she wouldn't be able to stand this stupid girl a second longer.

Victoria snarled each biting remark like a beast at the bedside of a dying animal, eager to hunt for this entertainingly easy prey.

With each advance of their argument the deep maroon shuttering their faces flooded in.

The pairs fists clenched as if to strike, but using only their words, flames licking at their skin

"ugh!! You are impossible! I don't even know why I'm still standing here arguing with you!"

She shouted, the angry expletive echoing around the cavernous space where they stood.

"Then why are you still standing here dumbass! We need to find a new place before it gets-"

A well of emotions that had been prime to rupture the entire time finally exploded inside her,

Even her freckled ears turned a dark shade of red, staining every part of her pale skin.

"Do you wanna sleep in my dorm?!" Less of a question, and more so a screamed exclamation.

Suddenly the mood had seemed to shift, but not in too drastically different a manner.

This was the last thing Victoria would've expected, it caught her so off guard she nearly fell again

"W-What? You want me to-" but the shorter girl had already started dragging her alongside.

"Let's just go! You look like shit anyway, and smell as much too!" Though this seemed unrelated.

"Well why don't we go then? We don't need you stinking up the place anymore" Victoria hissed.

"You're the one with stink lines coming off you!" Following up with "not to mention that hair"

Practically spitting in the bespectacled girls face, "fuckin nerd I can't believe I'm gonna go see your stupid ivory tower" rolling her eyes exaggeratedly.

"It's not like you're moving in, idiot!" She blistered hotly, "I'm bending the rules enough bringing a girl like you into this school.." Simone grumbled further

"Well thank you soooo much I'm sure it'll be very hard for you" Victoria drawled sarcastically

"Yeah it will be actually thank you very much!" A delightful fury painting her round face.

The two bickered all the way to her campus, their faces a moment apart at every step.

Their loud shouting battle soon replaced once more with the sound of the rushing river,

While Walter contentedly watched them walk off, good for Victoria, he thought, mildly amused.

He reached for another wriggling fuzzy worm, and skewered it expertly onto the aged old rusty hook.

And with a hefty swing.. he slung the line back out.

Part 1 of 1 END! What A Delightful Start To A Surely Long Lasting Friendship, Walter Was There Too!

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