#shading is once again very vibes-based

[magentakat]

I have finally (kind of) unlocked the secret behind drawing ruffles. Sun’s rays… less so.

[wannabepoeticischiya]

if it can't be you, then let it be no one at all

ao3: if it can't be you, then let it be no one at all pairing: pro-mlb! miyuki kazuya x f! reader genre: romance wc: 3.7k status: one shot

As strange as it sounded, back then he couldn’t pray for love. It was kind of pathetic to hear, true. To dare to dream about it beyond the fields of baseball was ridiculous, and to want it with her? Even more so.

Miyuki couldn’t put it into words, because even if he tried to—the mirror of her smile showed up in his head, the sound of her laughter echoing in the once desolate meadow of his heart, the warmth of her gazes melting the frost he never noticed had encased his soul.

And when he conjures the image of the one who holds his heart—it was no longer the field domed by the azure skies, no longer the sweltering heat that came from the glaring sun… it was her, at the center of it all, holding it together, colored with all the shades of happiness the universe could offer.

There was something in summer that had Miyuki Kazuya feel iffy like there was an itch in the back of his head only the change of seasons could scratch. 

It's not like he totally detested summer (he did) or wished for it to go away faster (he does). He used to love summer—the heat, the burning sensation of the sun as he played in the field, the warm air as he ran from one base to another... he loved it, thrived in it even. Back then he was sure he could never hold even an atom of resentment for the season when baseball was played at its peak. 

Well, that was what he thought back in high school. 

Back when Miyuki was only chasing after the girl from band club, the girl he saw at orientation day, and unknowingly, all too suddenly—Miyuki found himself barreling through the atmosphere like an asteroid catching fire and fell in love… which was annoying for her, and very embarrassing for him. 

The girl he sat next to during tests and would discreetly stare at. When he would take the most ridiculous routes back to his dorm just so he could see her. The girl who led his batting song... the girl who said yes to going out with him after a year and a half of courting her along with the occasional begging. 

[Name], whom he is now married to. 

“Miyuki, how does it feel to once again step onto the world stage this coming tournament?” The interviewer’s question brought him back to where he was at the moment, sitting in this unnervingly comfortable chair, wearing clothes his publicity team had pressed into perfection, the glaring lights illuminating the stage. 

It always made him think that he should feel comfortable, be more confident in his own skin, and not feel as if he was giving off this… ‘stiff as a board looking like he wanted to get out of this place and run back home vibe’—which he would’ve done if he wasn’t so shackled by his professionalism. 

He is reminded of the wires, of the cameras, and the dozens of eyes staring at him from the rows of people occupying the seats. The red sign that read ‘On Air’ glared right at him from the far end of the studio. 

“Pretty great,” Miyuki inwardly winced at his lackluster reply. Great? Really? Is that the best you got? 

Miyuki always told himself that he should be used to this. That he shouldn’t be so jittery and jumpy and lose all the words he knew whenever someone asked him a question. After being invited to countless talk shows, interviews, press conferences, and all the publicity needed to promote the team—he should be used to it. But when he’s shattered out of his daydreams, he finds it difficult to quickly gather the fragments of his thoughts. 

He cleared his throat, plastering the well-practiced professional smile he spent so long trying to perfect in front of the mirror (and with his wife—duct taped on the mouth because she was always laughing—who gave him an approving nod and thumbs up as her shoulders shook from her giggles).

“We have an amazing lineup of players, and we’ll definitely be reaching for the World Series title this year.” 

Even if the words were something his PR manager told him to say, Miyuki—for all his charm and ego—knew it was the truth, and he would have said it even if no one told him to.

The interviewer chuckled, liking the way Miyuki's energy took on a much lighter form. “Confidence! We love seeing that in promising young players. And when has Miyuki Kazuya ever turned down a challenge?”

Miyuki smirked, leaning back and crossing his legs, draping an arm over the couch—something less than a force of habit. “Wouldn’t be here if I did.”

The interviewer laughed, flipping through his cue cards. “Alright! Let’s switch things up a little. We have here some fan-submitted questions, and—” He glanced up from the cards, heaving a breath, and gave Miyuki a knowing look. “—well, they are very interested in your life outside the field.”

Miyuki sighed, the smile still very much present on his face—but if he could, he wouldn’t tell the world anything beyond what he shows in baseball. 

“Of course they are,” he laughs quietly, shaking his head like he expected this to happen—which he did considering [Name] showed him the form a few weeks earlier informing the fans that their questions had the chance to be answered by Pro Baseball Player Miyuki Kazuya.

“Okay let’s get right into it!” The interviewer cheered, shuffling the cards as the lights of the studio were set to scatter to increase the tension. 

“What is Miyuki Kazuya’s favorite season?” 

Miyuki tilted his head in thought. If he were to be asked that question ten years ago, he’d say summer right off the bat (pun intended). No one would ask him why—not when the answer was written all over him. 

Already painted on his sunfire-kissed skin, tan lines that never faded no matter the shift in seasons. It was printed on the school roster that bore his name year after year, in the tournament highlights played under the searing sun. Even stared right back at them through his sports glasses as he crouched behind the home plate. 

Summer was baseball. Summer was his season.

But here, underneath the artificial lights of the studio, wrapped in layers of designer-approved clothes, in the center of all these curious eyes, he couldn’t say the same. 

Not because he fell out of love for summer—heaven knew he still loved the feeling of warmth covering his skin, of the hot zephyrs hitting his face as he ran across the field, the way everything would settle into silence… he adored that, it was still living within him. 

But one day, somewhere along the way, Miyuki found something—someone—he loved more. 

And suddenly summer paled when put next to her. 

No summer sky could match the glow on her face when she smiled. No sun could rival the gleam of her eyes when she looked at him with all the gentleness in the universe. No warmth of the season could mirror the way her arms felt around him—when she actually let him hug her, or even get close enough to try to.

He remembers it clearly. The moment he had experienced the sheer cruelty that came with the season of summer. It wasn’t shrouded in daylight, not even on the field where he believed should’ve been the only answer, and—as horrible as it was to say it—he would’ve chosen losing a game underneath the sweltering heat than be subjected to this torture. It was in the dead of night, when silver light flooded the darkened room, and he was banished to the other side of the bed.

“Dude, get away from me.” 

A hand—her hand—was planted on the hill of his cheek, pushing him away. 

Miyuki groaned but did not budge, still trying to cling onto her despite her efforts to shove him away. “You’re so mean.”

“You're too hot,” she fans herself with her other hand, not giving him the chance to glomp her with his torrid temperature. “Why are you even here? There's literally so much space over there!”

He props himself up on an elbow, resting his head on his fist, staring at her unimpressed. “Well, I wouldn't be here if someone didn't spill chocolate over my side of the bed.” 

Miyuki was lucky enough to have that excuse because if he didn’t, he would still try to get into her personal space—only he would have less of a chance to actually succeed. 

She huffed, turning away from him. “I already said I was sorry!”

“Sorry isn't gonna magically get us clean sheets overnight.”

That was a lie of course, he did see some bed sheets in the cabinets earlier—choosing to hide them underneath a pile of hello kitty blankets so she wouldn’t think to look for it there. 

Realizing she wasn’t gonna win this one, not when she was close to passing out, most certainly not when the heat of the season was beginning to test how far her patience can reach, she relented—albeit reluctantly. 

“Fine, just—just stay away from me.” She sneaks a glance at him from over her shoulder, staring at him pointedly; a warning. Don’t you dare. 

Miyuki barely moved before she snapped again.

“Kazuya! Stop it!” She pushed him away, giving him one of the nastiest glares he had ever received in his life. “I told you, it's too hot so move away!”

He sighed dramatically, willing his body to move a fraction away from her. “I literally just tried to find a better position to sleep.”

“You can do that without inching close to me.”

Miyuki only agreed, finding that she wouldn’t relent no matter how he tried. It was summer vs him. It’s not like he could force his body temperature down in the snap of a finger. If she didn’t want him near, then it’s fine. He would behave. 

At least… until she falls asleep.

When the world was shrouded in stillness, the midnight sun crossing the center of the sky, and the only sound she could hear was the steady hum of the AC—which she had so stubbornly set to the lowest power setting—she woke up feeling the same problem she desperately tried to avoid earlier.

It was too hot. 

And this time, she couldn’t move.

Amidst the haze of slumber clouding her vision, it took her a solid ten seconds to figure out why. 

Kazuya had locked her into a bear hug, one arm draped over her waist, the other curling over the expanse of her collarbone. His breath was warm against her nape, legs tangled with hers like she was some human-sized plush toy.

The more she tried to pry his hold away from her, the tighter he held on. She knew he was completely knocked out, and she knew there was no changing anything about the situation when clearly Kazuya was unwilling to let go—even in his unconscious state.

She could only sigh, defeated—silently berating herself why she was stupid enough to sleep next to him on one of the hottest days of summer. Then again, if she were to sleep on the couch, Kazuya would still find his way next to her and she would still be faced with the same dilemma. 

Left with no other choice, she slept feeling like she was pressed up against a literal furnace.

Miyuki let out a breath, dragging himself back to the present. He smiled fondly at the memory, it felt like he was reliving the moment all over again but in reality, he knew he was up in la la land for no less than ten seconds. 

The interviewer raised a brow at Miyuki. “You’re really considering your answer carefully, huh?”

Miyuki let out a chuckle, shaking his head. “Yeah,” he playfully agrees. “Had to go through a whole mental debate for a while.”

“So?” The interviewer prompted, nodding encouragingly. “What’s the verdict?”

Miyuki tilted his head, the corner of his lips curling to a boyish smirk. “Winter.”

There was a beat of silence. Miyuki didn’t even have to look anywhere to know that everyone expected a different answer. He was Miyuki Kazuya, someone who lived for the season of summer, for the sun, the thrill of baseball underneath the sapphire skies.

The interviewer gathered his thoughts faster than anyone else, flashing a grin. “Yuletide! Well, it looks to me that the audience is just as shocked as I am! Any special reason why winter takes the crown?”

Miyuki smiled, if only they knew just how lucky he was during winter.  

When the cold made her clingy, lingering around him like a shadow because the warmth of the heater wasn’t enough. When she would abandon her side of the bed to come near him—because all too suddenly, no amount of blankets could replicate the feeling when it was his arms curled around her.

When she curled into him effortlessly, like winter sun: slowly, effortlessly… as though it was always meant to be; slotting herself to all the spaces between them, pressing her cold feet against his legs without warning. He would flinch, caught off guard, and she always laughed—always.

When she would rise first during the slow, snow-ridden mornings, tugging his sweatshirt over her head, sleeves reaching past the horizons of her fingertips, before walking the hallways in her fluffy wool socks to go and make warm drinks for the both of them. When she would find herself beside him, holding the cup between her hands, leaning against his side because he was abundant in warmth—because Kazuya ran hot and she liked it.

When she let him pull her close—without complaint, with no hesitation… nothing but the infinite vastness of adoration lingering in the spaces they couldn’t take for themselves. When she would bask in the feeling of his warmth, without shoving him away, without calling him a human furnace and declaring war on him at the ungodliest hours of the morning.

Winter meant the return of stolen hoodies, when his clothes weren’t enough for the two of them because she would refuse to use any of hers with the excuse of ‘they aren’t as warm as yours’. It meant waking up to find her draped over him like a cat. Winter meant pulling her in for a hug any time he wanted… it meant lazy mornings spent under thick blankets where it’s just the two of them—and nothing in the world could ever matter.

Winter meant her. 

Miyuki blinked, realizing he got lost in thought once more. He lets out a breath, half expecting a cloud of white to form where his lips meet the air—only to find it nowhere. Thinking about winter made him wish for it to arrive faster. 

He tilts his head with a knowing smile. “Well…” he began, “it’s closer to my birthday.”

The host couldn’t hide the chuckles that left his lips as he shook his head in amusement. “Ahh, we really cannot argue with that folks! No one can beat birthdays.”

Miyuki joined in on the laughter, shifting where he sat—inwardly grinning like a fool, if only they knew. “What can I say? I like the season that treats me well.”

The audience collectively laughed, though anyone with half a brain working could figure out that there was so much more to what the athlete was saying. But Miyuki wasn’t about to spell it out for the world to hear. 

The interviewer, ever the professional, let the moment simmer before he once again shuffled through the cards for the next question. “Alright, moving on—next question, and this one… oh, this one’s interesting.” He wiggled his eyebrows at Miyuki, as the latter just smiled the best he could.

“Is Miyuki Kazuya single?” 

The question nearly had him choking on air… literally. 

Was that… a serious question?

Wasn’t it already obvious? Wait. Hold on. Did I never—? 

A mental recap of the past year rolled in his head at lightning speed. He remembers getting married, of course—highlight of his life. He remembers wanting to tell the world and he believes he was close to doing so before his name slips past the borders of his wife’s lips, beckoning him to come over. But even after that, he could’ve sworn he posted a picture of their anniversary earlier this year… or did he just think about posting it? Surely he mentioned it elsewhere, right?

Snapping out of his thoughts, he did the one thing he was good at even after all these years—he laughed it off. Miyuki quickly looked at the camera and smiled proudly. “Nope,” he chuckles, raising his left hand to show the silver band on his ring finger. “Haven’t been single since second-year high school.”

The audience reacted immediately. Some in laughter, a mix of impressed murmurs, the others in absolute shock. 

Miyuki let out an amused laugh, although he, himself, was also quite lost. “Really?” he blurted out before he could hold his tongue—he was so gonna get grilled for this. “Did I never explicitly say I was married?”

The interviewer whistled and leaned forward, seemingly intrigued. “Many fans speculated that you were off the market even before your teammates posted Instagram stories of a wedding where the groom looked quite similar to you.”

And it hit him. 

Miyuki had never actually announced it. 

Miyuki put a hand against his mouth, trying to fight off the laughter that wanted to break free from the back of his throat. 

“Oh,” he breathes out, voice dying in the tunnels of his throat at the realization. “Oh, that’s—wow. That’s on me. Sorry.”

Laughter filled the studio, and Miyuki could do nothing but card a hand through his hair. So… he never actually announced that he was married. Perhaps the excitement got to him too much that he only imagined telling the world all about it but in reality, he became far too preoccupied living the dream of a married life to even say a thing about it. 

“Now you heard it here first, folks. Pro Athlete Miyuki Kazuya is a happily married man! So happy he forgot to announce it.”

The interviewer relished in the audience’s amusement, giving Miyuki a grin of his own. “Well, now that we know you’re hitched this brings us back to the fact that you married a high school sweetheart. Now that’s rare! How did that happen?”

Miyuki found himself smiling softly at the reminder of her, rubbing the silver band on his finger—the only anchor he had left to this moment so he wouldn’t ascend to the clouds and drift in the ocean of every thought he harbored for her. “It wasn’t easy, I’ll tell you that.”

“You had to work for it?” The interviewer looked like his eyes were about to pop out of their sockets. Was it really that surprising? It wasn’t just the host who looked bewildered, from the corner of his eyes, he could see a few cameramen and staff and the audience staring at him eagerly waiting for him to continue. 

“The words of my wife were, ‘Work for it like a cow, Kazuya. Maybe, I’ll consider it after a year or so’ and she considered me after a year and a half.” He grins proudly.

“A year and a half?” Now the interviewer practically had his soul escaping from his open mouth. 

The memories made Miyuki smile. How his stare constantly gravitated towards her. The feeling of absolute euphoria when he stood in the batter’s box knowing she led the theme song to his play. When he would come in late to PE because he knew her name was last on the list and she would be left with no choice but to pair up with him. 

Miyuki chuckled, he found it peaceful to talk about her—that he could finally tell the world why he was so happy. “She didn’t like me at first. But I had the biggest crush on her—downright ridiculous. Took the longest, most unnecessary routes back to my dorm just so I could ‘casually’ run into her. I swung hard enough to make the ball go out of bounds so I’d have the excuse to go get it because she was there. This is kinda embarrassing to admit.”

The interviewer grinned. “That’s some strategic planning, Miyuki,” He playfully salutes the athlete. 

“What can I say? I have baseball to thank for that.”

Miyuki wouldn’t have it any other way. If she told him to work hard for her to agree for the next ten years he would do it in a heartbeat. 

He wouldn’t even hesitate. He wouldn’t falter. 

As strange as it sounded, back then he couldn’t pray for love. It was kind of pathetic to hear, true. To dare to dream about it beyond the fields of baseball was ridiculous, and to want it with her? Even more so. But there he was, choosing to look at her instead of the team practicing, his gaze drifting from Kuramochi ranting about the pitcher’s haste to watch as she led the band to the tune she wanted to play, his heart slowly but surely finding its way to orbit around her.

Miyuki couldn’t put it into words, because even if he tried to—the mirror of her smile showed up in his head, the sound of her laughter echoing in the once desolate meadow of his heart, the warmth of her gazes melting the frost he never noticed had encased his soul.

And when he conjures the image of the one who holds his heart—it was no longer the field domed by the azure skies, no longer the sweltering heat that came from the glaring sun… it was her, at the center of it all, holding it together, colored with all the shades of happiness the universe could offer. 

So how could he give that up so easily? How could he never find a reason to stay? When all that he has ever loved and more was her? 

And if it wasn’t her, then he would rather have no one at all.

There was something about it; knowing—learning all that she was passionate about. Carving into his very being the engraving decorating her soul just to feel a tad bit closer to her than he already was, delve a little deeper into her mind, to see for himself the meadows of her desires.

There was something about it… when he does that. As though there was no greater thing to exist other than to love her slowly… intimately. To catch her form as she joyfully hops the last step of the stairs, wait as she ties her shoelaces, hold his hand out for her to take when she's walking slow—ready to receive her once she catches up, wait for her to finish her meal—to be awarded the rarity of the moment of basking in the light of her vulnerability.

He found greatness in loving her softly… slowly. Like letting the stars simmer and cool before they're ready to burst forth and burn for all the eternities.

Miyuki would find himself telling her the words, if it can’t be you… then let it be no one at all.

It is so ridiculously hot where I live (around 42C here) and when I go out my sweat drips like a faucet that can’t be shut off (;´A｀) The original title for this was supposed to be written in Filipino ‘Kung hindi lang din ikaw, ‘di bale nalang’ which would literally mean: if it’s not you, then nevermind.  I have a serious issue with Miyuki because I burst into tears when I see him (ㅠᯅㅠ) I'm such a loser and I don't even know the reason why.

[jabutipiranga]

Ranking every portrait in Hades 2 because why not? (Part 1)

Jen Zee absolutely blasts out of the water again with her designs with Hades II, so I thought it would be fun to try to rank each design based on their accuracy to Greek mythology and overall just my personal vibes.

Since Skelly and Dora (mostly) are original characters, I didn't include them in the ranking.

Polyphemus

I'm likely the only person on this site to have Polyphemus' design as my top favorite, but it's genuinely extremely well-done. I love the blue motifs to indicate his relationship with his father Poseidon (even if the game seems to deny it, strangely enough), the wool on his back making him more imposing and emphasizing his nature as a shepard, and especially the reference to eye motifs present in Ancient Greek art; in special, the apotropaic eye used on ships. Whoever had the idea of associating Polyphemus with the evil eye should get a raise.

Heracles

Another amazing design that I feel is underrated. This is pretty much everything Heracles should look like to make him recognizable. I love how he is filled to the brim with weapons all over his body (including a faithful club design), and particularly how his blond beard fuses with the Nemean Lion's skin. If I could change anything, I'd just add a bow and a quiver as well, since it's likely his most famous weapon aside from the club.

Athena

I love how imponent and vicious this Athena looks. It's always great when adaptations remember that Athena is associated with war more than any other god alongside Ares, and this reflects this very well. I'm just not a fan of how sad the Gorgoneion looks on her shield though; like @sarafangirlart said, Medusa's head is supposed to be frightening, with a terrifying grin and open, bulging eyes. I'd also like her to wear the Aegis, the serpent-trimmed shawl with Medusa's head Athena wears in art, but some sources really do call it a shield rather than a breasplate so that's just me personally.

Demeter

Amazing continuation of her design from the previous game, imagining how this agricultural goddess would act in a war. She looks completely imposing despite being "defrosted", and having a sickle as a weapon of choice fits perfectly. That said, I'm still not a fan of them making Demeter significantly older than the rest of the Olympians, but that's a Hades 1 complaint.

Hades

This design perfectly emphasizes Hades' rugged state: if in the first game his character literally looked down on you, here he is looking directly at the screen, taking away his regal nature. The bright and warm colors of the king of the Underworld go away to be replaced by the brown rags, lightned by a sickly green. The only downgrade is that his new eye-to-eye look makes more clear that Hades does not actually have a beard but rather just a giant mustache, but that's just me.

Prometheus

Another amazing design: the giant scar across his torax, the once baleful eagle sent to torture him now dominating the screen, the blue motifs of the fire, and even the falconry glove replicating the flame on his other hand. I do think the hair could be less puffy, as Greek men would often wear long hair in braids, but I get they were trying to make it look like a fire.

Hypnos

I think this is an upgrade from the first game. While in Hades I Hypnos just looked a little sassy and not much more, here he really looks like Sleep Incarnate, partially because of the mysterious slumber that now surrounds the character. I love how he is surrounded by the flowers poppies associated with the god and carried by two little shades. The sleeping mask is the kind of anachronism that's funny enough to let it slide.

[charliegyrth]

The Lottery Winner - 1 of 2

My Amazing New Job

Hi, everyone! Charlie here. I wrote this story based on a suggestion from one of my readers. Anonymous, wherever you are, I hope you like this story!

***

I didn’t expect the job interview to be by the side of a pool.

I’d catered plenty of events for eccentric rich people, and every single one of them had been a mixture of professional and condescending. Usually, they’d meet me in their drawing room (or “foyer” or whatever) and tell me a long list of what they do and don’t want. They depended on my services, so they treated me with respect (more or less), but at no point did any of them want me to feel comfortable in their fancy mansions.

So when Grant himself (not his butler) greeted me at the front door and gave me a tour of the place, I was a bit surprised. He took me into his courtyard and had me sit across from him in the shade of an umbrella. He even had lemonade waiting for me.

“The weather’s really nice today, huh?” he asked, smiling.

He was quite a handsome man. Tan. Muscular. Black hair and very dark eyes. He wore a loose gray shirt and torn blue jeans. He looked very blue-collar, and very out-of-place surrounded by all this opulence.

“Yeah,” I said. “Nice and breezy.”

That wasn’t a joke, but he laughed anyway. “I look around sometimes, and I still can’t believe that I live here.” Then he glanced away. “Sorry. I probably sound like an entitled snob, huh?”

“Not at all.” In fact, he was the first rich guy I’d met who didn’t sound like a snob. Most people with enough money to afford a place like this take everything for granted. They surround themselves with beauty and then refuse to appreciate it. Not Grant.

“Good,” he said, laughing again. “This is all so new to me. I won the lottery a few months back and I moved here three weeks ago. I’m still adjusting.”

“Wow.” I always thought the lottery was a scam. I barely knew this guy, but I could tell that he was genuine, that for once, all that money went to the right person.

He clapped his hands together. “Tell me about yourself, Bradley!”

I assumed he was asking about my professional experience. Despite how friendly he was acting, this was still a job interview. “Well, I went to Le Gran Culinary School. I was sous chef for three years at Langley’s in Vegas. And for the last three years, I’ve been head chef at—”

“Marcone’s,” he finished for me.

“Yeah.”

“That’s why I know you’ll be perfect. I’ve eaten there like ten times since I got rich, and my God, the food is incredible!”

“Thank you.”

“I actually saw you a couple times, too. Talking to your workers or whatever. You always seemed so… nice. Not, you know, Gordon-Ramsay-ing at people.”

“Thank you,” I said again. I trained under some real monsters, so I always tried to treat my crew with respect. They worked better that way.

“So?” Grant said. “Will you take the job?”

“Um, aren’t you gonna ask me more questions?”

“No,” he said very casually. “Don’t need to. And I really, really need a cook. I work in construction. Well, worked, I guess. I have this big fancy kitchen now and the only food I can make is cold cereal.”

I took a long sip of his lemonade, forcing myself not to flinch at the tartness. It was terrible.

This was the single easiest job interview of my life. No hard questions. No questions at all, really. Just a friendly, extremely handsome guy who liked my cooking and wanted me as his live-in chef. I knew that I should take some time to think about it, but I just had this feeling that I was meant to be here.

“I’d love to work for you, Grant.”

***

Grant stepped out of the pool, pushing back his dripping hair. It took all my strength not to stare like a cartoon character. When I started working here a week ago, I had no idea that my employer was so freaking hot. I knew he was handsome, obviously. His dark eyes and sharp jaw gave his face definite movie-star vibes. But seeing him shirtless, seeing how a decade of construction work had hardened his body… I mean, Jesus. The guy looked like he could be on the cover of a romance novel.

I also didn’t realize just how often he’d go around shirtless. He spent huge stretches of the day longing in the pool, and often, he’d get out of the water and just remain shirtless.

It was so difficult to act professional around him, to look him in the eyes when all I wanted to do was stare at his developed, dark-haired chest. He wasn’t gay, of course, so the unobtainability helped, for sure. He always treated me like a friend instead of an employee, though, and there were times when his friendliness verged on flirting.

All in my head, though.

He walked from the pool to the table, still dripping wet. I had just set out his lunch, two submarine sandwiches and a salad. He had a huge appetite (and always finished his meals), so it was genuinely amazing that he had maintained his godlike physique.

I waited at the table, just in case he needed anything else. (Sometimes he asked for a bowl of ice cream to go with his lunch.) He smiled gratefully at the food. “Looks amazing as always.”

“Thank you, Grant.” (He told me multiple times not to call him sir.) “Would you like anything else?”

“Actually, yeah. But you can say no if you want.”

I wouldn’t say no if he asked for a kidney. He paid me a fortune and I got to live in this mansion. “Anything you want.”

“Can you eat with me? I’d like the company.”

I felt my cheeks blush. “Absolutely. Just give me a second.”

I ran back inside and grabbed my own sandwich. Whenever I cooked for Grant, I always made an extra (smaller) portion for myself. I wasn’t much of an eater.

He was already chowing down on his first sandwich when I came back and sat across from him. Even when he was scarfing down food, he looked handsome. I liked watching him enjoy my work. I really did.

“How are you liking it here so far?” he asked through a mouthful of food.

“Love it. Really.”

“Great,” he said. “You know, you remind me a lot of my ex Jennifer. Great cook. Happy all the time.”

That comment gave me some mixed feelings. I was glad that he liked my personality, that he thought I was “happy all the time” even though he was the one constantly laughing and smiling. And I guess I liked that I reminded him of his ex. I didn’t like that he was comparing me to a woman, though.

“Thanks.”

“Oh,” he mumbled. “I offended you.”

I shrugged.

“Sorry, B.” (He’d started calling me B instead of Bradley. I was on the fence about that.) “I’m not used to, you know…”

“Talking with gay people?” I asked.

He flinched. “Having employees.” Then he looked at me as if he was seeing me for the first time. “You’re gay?”

I laughed. I thought he was joking. Everyone who met me knew I was gay. My kindergarten teacher knew it. Then I realized he was dead serious. “Yeah. I am.”

“Oh,” he said. It was the most neutral-sounding “oh” you could imagine. I couldn’t tell if he was totally fine with it or if he was freaked out and wanted to fire me.

We sat in silence for a while. Grant kept eating, still with an awkward expression, still staring at me. I just sat there.

Finally, he asked, “So are you dating anyone right now? Sorry if I’m not supposed to ask.”

“No,” I said. “Freshly single.” That was one of the reasons I quit working at Marcone’s. My ex was one of the owners.

“Oh,” he said again. That “oh” had a lot of meaning. Was he interested? Did this straight, rich former construction worker like me? It sure sounded like it.

Then he added, “If you want to get back out there, go on dates and stuff, just let me know. I don’t wanna hold you back.”

My heart sank. Nope, he didn’t like me. He was just being a good boss.

“Thanks,” I said. I really should reenter the dating scene. It had been too long.

We started talking about other things (thankfully). He told me about his favorite action movies (which removed all doubt that he was gay). Pleasant conversation, though. I really enjoyed eating with him.

Pretty soon, he finished his meal and I pushed the remains of my sandwich to the side. (I told you I wasn’t a big eater.)

He looked at my plate with a hint of disappointment. “You don’t like your own food?”

“No, I just don’t eat a lot.”

“Then, um, can I have it?”

I’d left two thirds of my sandwich, but my bite marks were on it.

“I can make you another one if you’re still hungry?”

“I’m not. I just don’t like food going to waste.”

I pushed the plate toward him. He smiled and kept eating.

***

We ate every meal together after that. He always ate my leftovers. He always complimented me, too. I knew I was a great cook, but there were very few compliments in the restaurant industry. In movies, you see people sending their "compliments to the chef," but in reality, that never happens. It felt great to be so appreciated.

It also felt great to get to know Grant. We got into deep conversations. He told me everything about himself, from his struggles as a kid in foster care, to his difficult high school experience, to his long days working construction. He never complained. If I had lived through a fraction of the difficulties that he had, I wouldn’t stop complaining. Not Grant. He took life as it came and was grateful for everything he had.

We didn’t just confine our conversations to the dinner table, though. We hung out throughout the day. Some nights, we’d watch movies together. We went shopping a couple times. I even introduced him to my family. Outside of actual romance, it felt like we were a couple.

I think that’s why I felt confident enough to tell him that he was gaining weight. I first noticed it a month into the job, when I saw his shirtless stomach bunch into rolls during one of our lunches. At the time, I assumed it was just a temporary softening, but two weeks later, those rolls had only gotten more obvious. That’s when I said, “Grant, I think you’re gaining weight. If you want me to adjust our menu, I totally can.”

He looked down at his stomach and poked his new flab with his fingers. He seemed surprised but not concerned. “I guess I am. And no, don’t change the menu at all. It’s too good.”

And that was that. I’d brought it to his attention, and since he didn’t seem to care, I decided not to mention it again. He was choosing my food over his own appearance, and I was fine with that. He still looked quite handsome.

His added pudge didn’t change his habits at all. He still walked around shirtless all the time. He still finished all his food and most of mine. He still acted confident in his own skin. I missed his six-pack, but that confidence more than made up for it.

One day, three months after I moved in, he surprised me in the kitchen. His belly was rounder than it ever had been, and his nipples were starting to look puffy. I was surprised to see him. He never interrupted me when I was cooking.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

“Yeah. I just wanted to see you. And if it’s not too much of a distraction, I kinda wanted to see you at work. Maybe I could learn some tricks.”

Even though I loved seeing him with his shirt off, I told him to put something on so that his thick chest and belly hair didn’t end up in our food.

He laughed at my request but did as I said. As he bounded out of the room, I noticed that his ass was jiggling under his shorts. That was a new development.

When he came back in, he was wearing an old gray shirt that I’d seen him in plenty of times before. Now, it barely contained his belly. A sliver of skin was exposed at the bottom. He noticed my eyes dart down there.

“I know,” he muttered. “I think we need to go shopping again.”

That sentence struck me for two reasons:

One, he still wasn’t upset at his weight gain, and he expected it to continue.

And two, he said “we.” It definitely sounded like something a boyfriend would say. Whether or not he saw me in a romantic light, we’d settling into the rhythms of a couple.

I pushed that thought out of my brain and started showing him around the kitchen. I was making beef stroganoff and had all the ingredients laid out and ready to go.

He listened attentively, asking enough questions to tell me that he had absolutely no idea what he was doing. (He literally got the “stove” and “oven” mixed up.) As a professional cook, I should’ve been annoyed, but I thought it was cute.

Everything about him was cute. His excitement. His eagerness to learn. Even the way his little belly bobbed around as he rushed across the kitchen trying to “help.”

When it was time to mix the cream sauce on the stove (not the oven), I had him do the stirring for me. I grabbed his waist and positioned him in front of the pan, then reached around him and guided his hand so he’d stir at the right speed. I didn’t realize how intimate this was until he looked at me over his shoulder. He had a strange look in his eyes. A hungry look. “You’re a good cook, B.”

“And you’re a fast learner,” I said. Perhaps that was an exaggeration. But whatever. It made him smile. He was still looking at me, so I added, “Eyes on the sauce, please.”

“Oh. Sorry.”

I gave him some space. I didn’t want to take things too far.

With my instructions, he finished the rest of the meal himself. I was so proud of him.

Read Part 2 here. Check out my list of stories here and my ebooks here.

[mortish-writes]

Tendencies, What are they for?

With the last couple of polls I've realized that not everyone understands what the purpose of the tendencies are apart from unlocking choices sometimes. Which as the writer/developer is totally my fault so let's demystify them.

Tendencies are personality traits that will add shades of distinction to your MC. Apart from merely unlocking different options, I want tendencies to also be hidden in the narrative, changing details within your scenes. With the Week One update, most of the tendency choices will be open and there will be a lot more choices woven into the narrative. Once you reach Night VIII, your personality with be (almost) fixed. You'll have very few opportunities to gain new tendencies, but you will instead have dynamic scenes which change based on your tendencies. Let's have an example.

As I mentioned in the last poll, we'll likely be transitioning to opposed stats. So let's look at the opposed stat of Pious and Irreverent. Let's say your MC is 70% Pious and 30% Irreverent. Here's a random scene for her on Night VI:

"What if..." You struggle to wrap your tongue around what you're about to say. It's been an hour since you lost your faith, and already you're about to propose utter degeneracy. "Hypothetically, if I were to be indiscreet with Valdricht, would that not bother you? Seeing as how we're traveling in close quarters." Something dark passes over his eyes, but then he smirks. "I could always join the two of you in your indiscretions." You blanch. "I fear there's been a miscommunication. I am not proposing that—" "Stop with this tedium," he interjects. "You'd end up being indiscreet even if you weren't obsessed with one another. Duvkrovyr can be very... stimulating, as you might have noticed."

And now let's read that one again with a 70% Irreverent and 30% Pious MC. I'll bolden just a few of the changes that way you can reference them quickly. Note, this doesn't radically change your MC. She's still a cute priestess who is flirting with irreverence.

"What if..." You pause, aware you’re tiptoeing toward something scandalous. "Hypothetically, if I were to be indiscreet with Valdricht, would that not bother you? Seeing as how we're traveling in close quarters." Something dark passes over his eyes, but then he smirks. "I could always join the two of you in your indiscretions." You squint. "That is... a creative interpretation of my question." “Don’t act so shocked,” he says, waving a hand. “You’d end up being indiscreet whether or not you’re obsessed with each other. Duvkrovyr has that effect. You’ve felt it.”

See? Essentially the same scenes, but a different vibe and even the banter is affected a bit. Rest assured, I will not be writing the scenes differently for every 10% of personality traits. Rather, when I feel like, for example a Romantic MC may react differently in a scenario than a Practical MC, I will make some minor tweaks to the scene and create a hidden conditional link. You'll be reading as normal, not knowing that a skill check shifted you into a particular version of the scene. This way, your MC behaves in a manner which better aligns with your perception of her. One more example, this one shorter.

Here is a scene from the Heretic, Night IV:

Inside the tent, Serax has already changed into his silken small clothes. Your gaze lingers on his bare chest as you remove your boots. He stares back knowingly. "Off praying to heathen gods, Sister $name?" he asks. "I hear they cut out your tongue for that." You stiffen. "Only if you speak the blasphemy aloud." "And what do they do to vestals who fornicate?" "Depends. Usually they get sent away. Which I suspect means confinement to ensure no child will come of the union, and then..." You draw your finger across your neck. "Glory to The Merciful Mother," he says wryly. Indeed. You shrug off your coat and then fall to your knees before the fire, warming your frigid fingers. Serax asks, "Are you hungry yet?" You're not, but you aren't about to turn down the opportunity. "For blood?" He grins. "I wouldn't offend your sensibilities with anything less."

The finger over the neck? Rather cynical, no? Let's crank up the romanticism.

Inside the tent, Serax has already changed into his silken small clothes. Your eyes catch on the lines of his bare chest as you unlace your boots. He notices—and doesn’t look away. "Off praying to heathen gods, Sister $name?" he asks. "I hear they cut out your tongue for that." You stiffen. "Only if you say the blasphemy out loud." "And what do they do to vestals who fornicate?" "Depends... Usually they get sent away from the sanctum. Removed from service. It's meant to protect them... and the child, if there is one." You don’t say what else you’ve heard. You don’t want to believe that part. "Exile and silence—the cornerstones of any good faith." You peel off your coat and lower yourself beside the fire, grateful for its warmth on your fingers. It’s easier to focus on the heat than the lingering discomfort in your chest. Serax asks, "Are you hungry yet?" Hope flutters in your chest. "For blood?" He grins. "I wouldn’t offend your sensibilities with anything less."

So there you have it. Generally, the changes will be subtle and hidden, though on occasion you'll have major choices that will be dependent on certain personality traits. I hope this clears things up!

What I like about using the tendencies in a subtle manner is that it'll give me the ability to tailor chapters for different MCs, while not necessarily creating different branches/storylines. Particularly in cases where there may be an arbitrary choice, rather than writing out tons of passages just to arrive at the same conclusion, I can write your MC such that she makes the choice in a single passage, but in a way that feels natural based on her personality.

Using this kind of conditional writing will also allow me to more easily add our upcoming Week One feature, which will be Motivations. In the prologue, you'll be able to select what will motivate your character. This is a fixed stat that will subtly shift the narrative of your storyline, allowing you to focus on what most interests you, be it the sex, the pregnancy, the romance, or your own personal coming of age story. Primarily you'll see it affecting your unstructured nights. An MC motivated by having a family will have more conversations about her pregnancy, child, and the LI's in their parental roles. An MC motivated by passion will have more opportunities for spicier NSFW content. This won't bar your MC from the other content, but rather emphasize your interest in your storyline.

Lastly, my reasoning for having your MC's personality mostly fixed by the end of Week One is so that I can maintain a consistent narrative vibe. I don't want you to have a character who feels erratic, constantly changing how she speaks and reacts because of small variable shifts. Although it might be annoying to have an MC that has a static personality, there will be opportunities for changes in response to major plot events. Additionally, it'll make for great replay value. Say you want to play as a Tender and Pious MC motivated by Family and have a sweet narrative for one playthrough, then you want to be a chaos gremlin and become an Irreverent Cynic who wants to thoroughly explore her sexuality. There will be a playthrough for both!

-Mortish

[shukraastro]

Hello Shukraastro, 

Based on how you analysed JK'S chart for FS physical features. I analysed it too, so tell me if my prediction is correct. I have only been practicing astrology for a year or two. This is just for her 1st house. 

So, through derivate astrology JK'S 7th becomes her 1st which is gemini.

1ST HOUSE (rules head/brain and general physical appearance) 

For a Gemini Ascendant with the Lagna in Ardra Nakshatra and its ruler Mercury placed in Uttara Phalguni in the Third House, the physical appearance gives youthful, intensive, and striking features. Gemini, ruled by Mercury, imparts a lean, wiry, or moderately built physique, with sharp facial features such as high cheekbones, a small or short nose, and expressive, often curious eyes. The influence of Ardra Nakshatra, ruled by Rahu, adds a piercing or stormy quality to their gaze, making their eyes one of their most memorable features. This nakshatra brings an enigmatic and intense aura, reflecting both intellectual sharpness and emotional depth. Uttara Phalguni, ruled by the Sun, refines these traits, lending the individual a regal or composed demeanor. Their features are well-proportioned, with a glowing or magnetic presence that draws attention effortlessly. With Mercury in the Third House, enhances their grace in movement, well-defined arms and shoulders, and a poised manner of communication. Their voice might carry an authoritative yet approachable tone, and their appearance overall balances a sharp, intelligent vibe with a touch of elegance and confidence. I do not know why but reminds me so much of Emma Watson for facial features and as for the her graceful body movement she might be like Charles Leclerc's Gf Alexandra Saint Mleux. (not shipping!)

Further Nakshatra Insights-

With Ardra nakshatra, her resting face might be more on the serious or angrier looking. And she might also not get recognized for her efforts allot. Her hand movement can be very unique. She is extremely intelligent (strong emphasis). She can be an outcast or unconventional and a black sheep in her family, intense conflict with parents. Also a combined influence of Rahu and  Mercury (Communication and Thinking,on and Thinking, intelligent & multi-faceted but rash, haughty and intelligent & multi-faceted but rash, haughty and ungrateful). Their resolve is hard like the "Diamond" symbol of Ardra and reflects its  multi-faceted qualities ands and brilliance. 

With Purva phalguni Nakshatra, she can be carefree, she will make a great parent, would love children, also gives her writing ability, good fortune and luck. Very sexual and passionate, purva phalguni rules sex organs. Her fashion style can be very regal, very elegant (she gives aristocratic or royalty vibes) can be a bit self centered and very wealthy too. 

Thank you for reading!

Yesss yes yes Anon you got it. Wow. Well in some parts I would stay a little bit neutral with the "vibe descriptions" cuz we can't truly know her vibes/behavior. But I like the comparison with Charles Leclerc's gf, cuz she has a warm and reddish complexion, which would resonate more with the Purva Phalguni traits. Although the 1st lord Mercury going into the 3rd house and sharing it's placement with Sun, Moon and Rahu will also influence her facial appearance. So Moon first of all will give her a round face, rounder eyes and nose (softer and rounder facial features) and a lighter (fair) complexion, Moon is also in Magha which is ruled by Ketu, Ketu can give some dull shade and Magha can give some redness (from burning/tanning). Then next Sun and Rahu in Purva Phalguni will again give redness and bronzness from tanning. Also Sun represents the eyes and Rahu puts a shadow over the eyes so here she can have some darker undereyes. But with both Sun and Moon sharing the same house with Rahu, she could end up covering the dullness of her complexion and the dark undereyes with lots of blush and highlighter. Dr. Arjun Pai once mentioned in one of his videos, that women with Rahu influence put lots of red on their cheeks. And this is really true I have also observed that. With Moon they apply lots of highlighter and with Sun-Rahu they apply lots of blush. Next Purva Phalguni also gives horizontally long, very thick, untamable bushy eyebrows with an arch and babyhairs along the hairline and very long and thick lashes. Rahu will basically give her this exoticness (foreigness) in her face and a hypnotic look in her eyes. Mercury's influence will be the youthfulness, she will look way too much younger than her actual age and it also gives another layer into her skin complexion with a slight yellowish tone. So therefore her skin tone will be in general around a medium-fair range, maybe like sandy-warm on the fairer side which turns quickly red when exposed to the Sun for too long before a sun-kissed tan sets in. And of course not to forget the Purva Phalguni freckles. Her hair could be very dark but turning lighter in the Sun with a warmer (reddish-brownish) undertone. As for her 3rd house since we discussed the planets here. Her shoulders, arms, hands and fingers will also be influenced by all these planets. Moon gives the softer/plumper/rounder features and Mercury more young/childish features, also she could communicate a lot with hand gestures. Sun can give some broader build especially in the shoulder section and also freckles on the shoulders or upper back area. Rahu could give some exotic traits, maybe like some tattoos on the shoulders/arms/hands/fingers. Magha Moon, she could very likely have that Magha mole near her shoulder. But since it's Moon it could be related to her Mother (maybe inherited) or the mole could be positioned near her breast, because Moon represents the breasts. So the shoulder mole could be leaning more near her breast or it could also have some volume (not a flat mole).

You see how it can go very deep down the rabbit hole. Every single detail needs to be analyzed.

Have a good day. 🪐

[dvinefem]

untitled elriel vibes pt. 2

hello again! thank you to everyone who read/engaged with pt. 1 of this little story. i decided to continue (still untitled sue me) bc i need to dump all of it out of my brain. brief disclaimer that i used to write a ton but now i’m a mom who is out of practice lol. this is just a creative outlet i've been having fun with during my me time (aka post bedtime), so pretty please bear with me. read pt. 1 here

“That’s very beautiful.”

Her cheeks heated, developing into an embarrassing shade of scarlet. Curse her treacherous body. Memories from before, from when she was human, flooded her mind. The same words she'd spoken to him. In another life.

“What are you doing here at this hour?” She fidgeted with the fabric of her dress. Realizing then just how sheer the silk was in the glow of the moonlight.

“I could ask you the same.” The shadowsinger leaned against a tree, hazel eyes studying her in a way that made her knees weak. “Sleep eludes me.”

“Nesta and Cassian?” Her question light, playful.

A ghost of a smile twitched onto his lips at the implication. But it was gone just as fast as it came. He shook his head.

Elain only nodded. Understanding. From the faint purple circles staining his under eyes, she was sure he’d endured many a sleepless night. “It seems we are alike, you and I.” She had to tear her gaze away from his, forcing herself to look up at the stars. “I cannot seem to rest either. Being out here soothes me.”

Azriel parted his lips to speak, but seemed to decide against it. Shadows writhed at his shoulders.

Sensing his turmoil, she lifted a delicate hand, welcoming him to take it.

“Let’s go.”

Dark brows pulled together, inquisitively.

“Do you trust me?” Her hand still outstretched.

He was silent for a long moment, fighting some internal war within himself. But then, much to her surprise, reached out to entwine his fingers with hers.

Through a dark and winding path she’d come to know well, Elain grinned to herself as she dragged him along. For the secret little alcove she stumbled upon a few weeks prior — just beyond the domain of river house garden, tucked away under a canopy of giant sequoias, where wildflowers bloomed and the creatures of the night sung quietly — was the only place that slowed her racing mind as of late.

When they approached the end of the trail, she glanced back toward him.

“Where—”

“Shh. Come.” Elain pressed a finger to her lips, tugging him further into her little sanctuary.

Their sanctuary. If he so desired. And oh, how she ached to believe that it could be.

Guiding them to the base of her favorite tree, she plopped down without warning. “Sit.”

“Quite demanding tonight.” A trace of amusement in the remark.

She only patted the lush grass beside her. But he obliged, surveying the whimsical hideaway before returning his attention to her. There was no need to explain herself, not to him — why she came here, the solace she'd found.

For far too long, Elain let herself revel in the way the soft glow of the stars danced across the planes of his hauntingly beautiful face. The way his dark hair curled slightly at his brow from the mist in the night air. The divine scent of him damn near beckoning her to lean in closer and—

Enough.

She swallowed the lump in her throat. "Lovely, isn't it?"

"Yes." His tired, shadowed eyes never once left hers. “You should rest.”

“You should rest.”

Azriel blew out a breath, wings rustling a bit but did not speak. Only laid back, patting the ground beside him just as she had.

Doe eyes narrowed, but exhaustion quickly took over. Her body giving into the temptation of sleep. The temptation of being close to him.

Some time passed with the two of them breathing in comfortable silence, forcing her to reminisce on the way things used to be. The wind howled softly through the trees, a symphony of crickets chirping in the distance. He looked to her then, a storm churning within the hazel of his gaze. To her surprise, he didn’t shield any of the emotion. He looked.. exhausted. Burnt out.

She shivered. Whether it was from the raw spring air or that look in his eyes, she wasn’t sure. “What are you thinking about?” Her voice cut softly through the stillness.

Taking note of her little shudder, he wrapped a strong arm around her middle, pulling her in closer. The heat from his chest warmed the chill in her bones.

“I’m thinking.. that it is becoming increasingly difficult to pretend you mean nothing to me.”

And although he had abandoned her on the night that never was.. he had told her it was a mistake. He had pointedly avoided her for weeks on end — which only made her heart ache more than it already had — still, she could not help the blood coursing through her veins from overheating. Could not help the shaking breath she used to form her next words. “Why do you? Pretend?”

“You are not mine to dream of.”

Before she could think better of it, Elain reached carefully over to his hand, pressing a soft kiss to his knuckles. And then placed that beautiful, scarred hand over her heart. Willing him to settle to the soft beat in her chest. "I think we both know that is not true."

“I—” He choked on the word, his voice horse. “I’m sorry, Elain.”

While there were still so many things left unsaid, heartbreak and ire and longing roiling deep in her gut, she whispered through the darkness, “Sleep, Azriel.”

Dream sweetly, of me.

And so it began. In the grass, beneath the night sky — death and the lovely fawn falling asleep in each other’s arms. Where only the Mother might witness them.

[slightlyhopefulromantic]

after 500 years, im back to working on line-ups for the oxventure PCs for each campaign, this time the hobby horses :3 as with the oxventurers guild, i put a good amount of thought into this, though maybe not as much as the guild haha but regardless, i'll go into more detail under the cut for anybody curious :]

once again, they all have their own eye shines (or, in barnaby's case, are dead behind the eyes lol), though theyre simpler shapes this time. edvard gets stars, lilith gets a squiggle, kasimir gets a hooked shape, and zillah gets hearts.

edvard - i see him as just kind of. soft around the edges from his rich upbringing, but generally is on the thinner side, kind of rounding out in the middle. very Just A Guy with his build and body hair. i went with brown hair rather than black because otherwise, everyone besides lilith would have black hair and it was just to monotonous for me XD still, i tried to keep it dark and not too bright so it would fit the vibe. also, for some reason i thought his vest was floral until i started coloring this, but it totally is not in canon??? :') i liked it too much to not do a floral pattern anyways.

lilith - i really adore her canon outfit, i just get very confused about the layering of everything. so i tried to do distinctive color-blocked for her outfit, while also restricting her outfit's palette to just purples and teals/blue. i am so bad at drawing snakes. i am so so so bad at drawing snakes XD also, i decided to give everybody at least one tattoo because i just thought it would be fun and im taking advantage of the gritty setting. theyre all cool and tough so they have tattoos and totally not because i just love drawing tattoos lmaooo

kasimir - kas is not much of a leap from canon. i love kasimir's design. i just gave him plenty of tattoos under that massive jacket of his. based vaguely on johnny's tattoos, i did my best to reference their arms but ended up more going off of the vibe rather than copying anything specific. johnny's tattoos are simply too intricate and beautiful for me to do repeatedly djfgbdfhd and okay i say this constantly but my faaavorite kasimir design element is his whale belt buckle. its so cute. i love it

zillah - she was also easy for the same reason, i just adore zillah's design. its simple and very fitting. so i just gave her exactly what she has, but like lilith, i simplified the color palette. since my art style is much more cartoony than colin craker's, especially when i dont hatch or shade, restricting the colors makes the designs look cleaner. i almost forgot to color in zillah's hand wraps by the way and i literally put my hand over my mouth, i only caught it as i was typing this XD it was so needlessly over-dramatic

barnaby - i dont know fully how to explain it, but barnaby is definitely the design i am most pleased with. not because i think he has the best design here necessarily, but because hes just so perfectly what i picture in my head. with a lot of my designs, ill adjust small details based on my mood or i just won't fully be confident in my decisions, but with this design? thats just barnaby. chef's kiss. like edvard, i gave him brown hair instead of black for some diversity. i also kept his very thin hair and high forehead because it makes him so endearing to me <3 no five o'clock shadow though, he has to keep himself looking young

[nihil10]

• Rating RE characters’ designs •

Rebecca Chambers

Desclaimer: these are my personal opinions based on how much I like the face model/outfit

——————————————————————————

Resident Evil 1996

6/10 I love the anime style of the first RE but Rebecca’s first design is lacking compared to others. Not a fan of her shoes, it’s giving Ronald McDonald- and why are her gloves green?

Resident Evil Remastered (2002)

9/10 Super cute! Really solid design overall. Her uniform looks much better than in the og.

Resident Evil 0 (2002)

8/10 While her outfit is the exact same, they changed her face, and I don’t get why. She doesn’t look bad, but there’s just something off about her. Her hair looks weird too.

Resident Evil 0 HD Wesker mode (2015)

8 maybe 8.5/10 This mode is so random but I’m vibing. Love the red eyes, but not so much the bangs. It’s not as good as Jill’s battlesuit design but the thigh-high latex socks are a nice touch. I don’t really understand how her P30 device is over her clothes, seems impractical, and possibly painful.

RE 0 Alternative costumes: Classic, STARS 1997, Sportswear, Cheerleader, Western

Classic 6/10 Once again, not a big fan.

STARS 1997 6/10 I don’t really get it. The layered shorts are more Claire’s thing imo.

Sportswear 7.5/10 The infamous basketball outfit that tainted Wesker’s reputation (jk). It’s very simple, there’s not much going for it, but I think it suits her character a lot and she looks good in it.

Cheerleader 7+/10 It’s just your standard cheerleader crop top and miniskirt combo. She’s cute though.

Western 8.5/10 Surely one of her best costumes. I really like the shorts, she looks good!

RE 0 Alternative costumes: Leather, Nurse, STARS Prototype

Leather 10/10 She’s serving cunt. Everything about this is great, I love it so much. Low waisted leather pants with the layered belts? Hell yeah. It’s not something you’d expect for Rebecca but it works so well.

Nurse 7/10 This is nice, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t know how I feel about it.

STARS Prototype 8.5 maybe 9/10 I love the white beret and the shoulder pads.

Resident Evil Vendetta (2017)

7.5/10 Can we please give Rebecca ankle length pants for once? It’s not even that bad, but it’s just so lazy. Really like the face model though, perhaps her best.

10/10 Now this is a whole different story. Amazing. I love the lace, the long sleeves- such a beautiful dress, and she wears it very nicely too.

Resident Evil Death Island (2023)

6+/10 Don’t get me wrong, she’s pretty, but her hair is so big it makes her look disproportionate. At least for once they put her in a black vest instead of a white one. Not a fan of this shade of green either. Overall, it’s okay, but there’re better versions.

[reiderwriter]

Thoughts on unsub spencer reid fics?

Hi! I'm not sure if you wanted more of a general answer or meant this as a headcanon or gen request, so I'm just going to go purely on vibes and answer this as a question.

Spencer as an Unsub - Thoughts

Disclaimer: Anything negative said here is absolutely not an insult towards any specific writer or fic. I don't really read unsub Reid fics, due to facts I'm about to get into, so I'm really not knowledgeable enough to be throwing shade 💀 This is personal opinion!

I personally would need a lot of convincing to believe in an "unsub" Spencer Reid.

In Criminal Minds, it's clear from very early into the show that Spencer is very empathetic with certain unsubs. The entire team have their own types of cases that they get more personally involved in (Morgan and cases involving child victims, JJ and apparent suicides, Emily and quote unquote battered women cases) but Spencer is the only one whose personal attachment to cases leaves him empathising with the unsub instead of the victim.

He's the only member of the team who could have seen himself committing violent acts the way unsubs do had his life veered down a different path. And, based on Spencer's background and the psychology of the show, he's probably right to be concerned.

He's a white male, at the peak of the show in his mid to late thirties, with a background of abuse and a family history of mental illness. By season four, we know he's highly skilled with a gun, and by season 12/13, we see that he can be pushed to violence when he is at the very edge of his limitations.

And then they make his character so intrinsically moral that you never question him ever again.

To a certain extent, Criminal Minds is about the perpetual cycles of abuse that human kind can inflict upon itself. Many of the unsubs were once victims, some of them perhaps still are. The heroes of the story are characters who have been able to break the cycle.

Spencer is neglected as a child. He has an absent father abandon him, a mother with schizophrenia who does physically beat him when she is having an episode. He is bullied heavily in school for his high IQ and his lack of social skills. But he is shown to deeply care for him mother and empathise with her deeply instead of coming to resent her like many of the unsubs in that situation. He resents his father, for sure, but instead turns that resentment into drive, leading him to "just keep getting more PhDs." And his personal experiences with bullying allow him to empathise with the unsubs that have gone through similar circumstances.

So I don't think canonically, Spencer is ever in danger of becoming an unsub. He deeply cares about the world and the people around him, and whilst he does have a kill count on the show, he either expresses deep remorse at having to oull the trigger, or it is in the best interest for everyone involved.

Basically, all that to say: I think Unsub Spencer Reid in fanfiction has to be written incredibly carefully, or it runs the risk of being very out of character. To be clear, I'm not too bothered about characters being slightly out of character in fics because it happens. I've probably written a lot of stuff where Spencer is OOC, too. And that's fine.

I do kind of draw the line at grabbing random unsub traits from the show and giving them to Spencer for a fic. For example, Spencer would never end up as a sexual sadist. He probably wouldn't be a spree killer, either. Not that anyone wants my writing advice, but if you're writing an unsub Spencer fic, think about his background and the profiles they generally give for the kind of signature/ crimes you're about to give him.

If this was a request, I apologise for the misunderstanding. But here's a little hint at what I might do with a general "unsub Reid" request.

☆ It would most likely take place after the events of Season 12/13.

☆ It's angst or nothing.

☆ The basic plot: Reid's headaches come back after taking a blow in the field. He tries seeking help for it but can't find any relief. On his next case, because of his chronic pain, he makes a mistake that gets his teammate, the reader, shot. The unsub escapes, but the reader falls into a coma. When it looks like reader is not going to pull through, he tracks down the unsub and beats his to death after a brawl. Massive overkill. The reader pulls through that night, and he feels no guilt for getting that monster off the street. But each time the readers health takes a turn, or they require a new surgery, he is compelled to go back out there and track down and kill another serial killer until the reader finally wakes up.

☆ I don't think it'd be very well received because there would be no morally grey smut. This is some tragic angst shit only, lmao.

☆ please don't put a request for this in my inbox. If I feel like writing it later, I might, I don't have the brain power right now, though 💀

That's all I've got right now, but I'd love to hear other people's thoughts on unsub Reid :)

[kay-then-i-guess]

So, I had this idea as I'm getting close to finishing the Election arc of my Roleshuffle AU to go through my previous comic pages and point out everything I did wrong :) This is all for funsies, and I feel like my art has gotten a lot better with the Election arc. Plus, I think it's very important to go back and critique yourself to 1: see how far you've come and 2: to better understand where you tend to make mistakes. So, let's get critiquing!

Soooo starting off, I really didn't know how to make a comic. I had only done very brief, minor comic making before, so this was a completely new field of art that I wasn't used to. You can immediately see that problem in the first and second panel, since they. They aren't a panel. Nothing about them (minus the speech bubbles) indicates that this is a comic. I think the first would have benefited from each item being properly separated, and the other would have benefited from an actual image behind it; not a gradient. Speaking of the items, that's supposed to be Sam's hand at the top, and it is freckle-less (no clue why I forgot to add those lol). Some other consistency things that are weird is that L'manberg has no tower entrance, and there aren't any trees surrounding it in any other drawing. On notes of consistency, the sword there is supposed to be Techno's, but the design changed later to have a gold hilt. I guess that change never reached this panel, so now that just looks like a random sword stuck in the ground. Nobody's sword in the comic looks like that haha. Similar deal with Techno's crown: the spacing of jewels is not consistent with how I draw it in the rest of the comic.

Moving on! The next two panels of Connor aren't bad, per se, they just aren't good. (I'm mainly bothered by the fact that he doesn't have teeth in the first one.) Also, because I didn't want to draw hands and cut his arms off, it just looks like the framing of the panel is all wrong. Plus, I don't think I've seen anyone pose like that in real life. He looks like he's about to hug you, which is not the vibe I was going for. In both of these panels, we have what will become a reoccurring problem throughout: loooooong neck because I didn't draw a base figure before drawing the clothes. Connor's face should either be longer in these panels, or his shoulders should be higher. Either way, the neck does not look right. Another reoccurring problem you'll see is dull coloring/shading. I'm still working on this, to be frank, but these images all look rather dull. There's nothing unique about the lighting/colors, so it doesn't really pop like it should. Either I needed to add more dynamic lighting or be better at highlights.

Yet another case of long neck. Oh, and weird positioning on the facial features. The eyes feel stretched across his face instead of, well, where they should be. I also think in these opening panels I really fail to encapsulate Connor's personality. I was really banking on the fact that he's a silly little comic relief character in the canon dsmp, but his delivery is very dry/flat whenever I watch old clips of him. Therefore, in the early bits, he just seems a bit off because of the high energy I gave him. Next up we have a bad case of something that looked good in the sketch but did not come across after coloring. What I wanted to happen was his face to gain some anime-type shading that screams "oh no", but it just wasn't strong enough, so the end result just seems like I copied and pasted the same panel for no reason. Also, in the lower image, Connor's face does not look right. I can't really put my finger on why, but it's either because his eyes are uneven or that the facial features, once again, kind of stretch across the face.

aaaaand I originally wanted to go through the whole first part of my comic, but this is turning out to be very long. So that's a tomorrow project. Hope you enjoyed my critique!

[rosescore245]

re: descriptive ship names for fs ships…. i fucking LOVE using colour combinations to refer to them. magenta for redvio. teal for glue. indigo for viblue. “gred” is really funny to me so i haven’t come up with a good combo for them, but i associate them with bloodstained or burning (red) grass or wheat stalks (green). similarly, “bludow” is a really fun name for them, but i Love the “deep sea” idea you floated (pun intended). reddow could be shaded embers….

AAAAAAA. FS SHIPS. MY FAVORITE.

I absolutely love the color-combos you brought up, and might I propose Red Caladium for Green/Red?

Idk it feels very Them-Core

I honestly like using more elemental-based names for their ships, and I shall now dump the main ones HERE:

(Pagebreak because it got long)

Magma / Lava: Red/Vio - Since the difference between the two names is just if it's on top of or beneath the earth's crust, I'd probably use one or the other depending on who I want to portray as the Head of the relationship (if there IS a head, sometimes it's clear NEITHER of them have their lives together lol)

Steam: Red/Blue - Since water, when it hits its boiling point, turns into steam, I think that when these two are really feeling in-synch, it's obvious that Blue is more energized/less burdened by a LOT, and Red is happy to make Blue happy <3

Updraft: Red/Green - Red is the ultimate hype-man, and since air rises when it's warmer, I think it's really sweet to name their relationship as such since it shows how much Red helps with Green's self-esteem! Uplifting king.

Sunset: Red/Shadow - When the sun dips below the horizon, warm sunlight and shadows begin the mingle. I am certain that once they get over that odd "Uuuuuhhhh sorry I was evil" thing, they'd be very, VERY comfortable around each other. Like Shadow feels safe enough to drop his guard and sleep with Red in the room comfortable (the last time that happened Vio nearly killed him)

Trench: Vio/Blue - Mostly thinking of the Mariana Trench here, this could also triple as a poly ship with Shadow tbh,,,hmmmmmmm

Dust: Vio/Green - When Dirt is kicked up it forms Dust in the Air. Fairly simple, tbh. Green pushes Vio to do more than he's used to, and Vio follows along and has a bit of lighthearted fun along the way, even if he wasn't sure at first.

Cavern: Vio/Shadow - Their relationship started off mostly empty, but if they decide to venture into its vast depths, they'd find a vast array of treasures and life within it <3 they just need to take that step and reconcile.

Fog: Blue/Green - Fog is the result of concentrated moisture in the air, reducing visibility and making the air feel stuffy. I personally subscribe to the idea that Blue is actually kind of clingy, though he would usually never admit it. Definitely a very post-canon dynamic for them, Blue would need to get over his odd jealousy of Green being the "Most Link", THEN he'd be able to feel safe/allowed to reach out/cling.

Deep Sea: Blue/Shadow - You brought it up again, but I want to elaborate on my reasoning further! I think that they'd have a hard time getting close since they both think they'd hurt each other, and the pressure of the others forming bonds with Shadow would definitely make both of them feel obligated to try and talk. The more they interact and learn about each other, the more they realize they BOTH have a few screws loose and end up being a solace to one another. Blue can show his stranger sides, and Shadow can make jokes he feels too uptight to say around the others (who he sees as pristine/clean, and he doesn't want to dirty them, in a way. Blue's more like a work-towel, for lack of better words-often clean, but definitely stained and willing to get messy.). The Deep Sea is full of creepy crawlies, and I think they'd bond over their own darker aspects eventually. (Can you tell I love these two and want to write them more??? So few fics about them on Ao3, and the main ones I could find were either like. Torture-porn. Which is NOT my vibe. Or not updated since 2015. I should write them more I love them)

Stormcloud: Green/Shadow - I think these two would be at-odds a lot of the time, but they'd find their middle-ground. Just because Green understands that Shadow has done good things doesn't mean he can overlook literally everything else. It would take a while, but I think they'd eventually be comfortable enough to open up about their internal conflicts and come to a conclusion that makes them both happy (kissing sloppy-style lol)

Kaleidescope: All of them at ONCE - I love to associate these losers with butterflies, and fun fact! A Kaleidoscope, while yes is a toy full of colorful knickknacks that makes cool patterns when you twist them, is also the proper name for a Group of Butterflies. Their metamorphosis throughout their stories and into their future is so intriguing and they're delicate yet so resilient and AUGH. I LOVE THEM. 99% of what I write is this ship EVENTUALLY, if I make multiple pairs of them kiss then I would definitely make them all kiss each other. It's common sense.

Lmao sorry for the MASSIVE dump X3

Tysm for the ask AND the follow, and have a good day!

[adobe-outdesign]

i love your korbat review! i hope it’s ok to request a color instead of a pet. could you review some UC grey pets? thank you!

(Similar to the species reviews, I'll do an overview of the color as a whole followed by my top three picks, plus a bonus extra least favorite.)

I'm not sure which member of TNT decided that there should be a paint brush for giving your pet clinical depression, but hey, I'm not complaining. I love neutral palettes, and the colour itself is super distinct—it would've been easy for this to just be a recolour ala silver, but instead they really went the extra mile in making it unique and distinct.

The only drawback to grey is that it has always been one of the colours impacted the hardest from customization. The entire point of the colour was less the palettes themselves (which are primarily, shocker, gray, sometimes with pink accents) and more the gorgeous artwork, which was incredibly expressive and sometimes outright beautiful. By making all the grey pets fit a rigid pose for customization, the colour ends up just being a recolour that happens to make your pet slightly depressed, instead of the full-on misery fest it used to be before conversion.

That said, I will defend customized grey pets a little—they do work as a great neutral base for customization and can look quite pretty when dressed up correctly. (Of course I, someone who has a converted grey Kougra, may be slightly biased.) Otherwise, this colour is best suited for UCs.

Favorite Species:

Yurble: The converted version is fine; it's not overly sad looking by any means, but that makes it a good base for customization. However, the UC version is the star here. What a fantastic design—the unfurled, limp ears are just perfection, and the long mane and drooping face are just wonderfully miserable. I also really like the pink eyes, which stand out nicely against the grey. The grey itself also has good contrast, with the dark eye markings really making the eyes pop.

Kougra: While this isn't the most interesting grey pet out there, I really like the overall look of the Kougra. The converted version doesn't look all that sad, but I like the subtlety stressed vibe and, like the Yurble, this makes it great for pets of any personality.

(Also, the customized version removes female Kougra's half-lidded eyes, which is a massive improvement across the board.)

Meanwhile, the UC is outright adorable, sporting a sitting pose, floppy ears, and an upward-looking expression befitting of a dog in one of those donation commercials. Once again, the pink eyes draw attention to the face, and the contrast between the shades of grey is good. I do think the stripes could've been a little drippy-er to really get that sadness down, but still, a very nice looking pet overall.

Acara: I was debating between the Acara and the Ixi for this, because I like both, but I have to go with the Acara for two reasons. First, the customized version looks pretty good—I appreciate the addition of tears to help make it look that much sadder, seeing as the pose is gone. It's not as neutral as some grey pets, but if you want a converted grey pet that still looks a bit sad, this is a good pick. Also, the pink ears and paws look lovely.

And secondly, the UC has a really neat thing conceptually wherein the horns are draped forward over the head instead of behind it. That's such a simple but fun visual touch, and like the UC grey Yurble's ears, it really helps to convey a sense of misery via the actual pet design. I also really like how it's leaning forward and looking up, like it's too tired to stand correctly. Great stuff.

Least Favorite Species:

Chia: Gotta give this one to the Chia. Even if you ignore the fact that it was made post-customization, meaning that there's no UC version to compare, it's also just really boring even by converted UC standards. There's no nice pink accents (unless you count the tongue), the hair looks fine, even the expression just looks more bummed out than depressed. I could've easily seen the feet being pink or the hair being mussy, or some deep shadows around the eyes; something to convey, well, anything, really. It's an alright customization base, but nothing more.

[bloodied-dagger]

some song recs based off lyrics

@rainbowangel110 has asked, so I shall deliver

did I spend entirely way too much time on this? Yes. Was it worth it? Probably not. Did I have to add the lyrics I related to the most for every single song? No, but rainbow specifically mentioned the lyric posting and it's fun soooooo (anyways it's 4:30 AM over here so. if you see any mistakes, no you didn't. I'll edit this in the morning so it won't have any)

Complete list without the commentary is at the bottom. List is in a Song Title - Artist format

Alternative

“Alternative” is being very loosely used here, there will be other genres mixed in here. Also, there is no particular order for this bit

I Will Wait - Mumford & Sons This is probably the most country song you'll ever get out of me, right next to the Nickleback song I've got in there

'Cause I will wait I will wait for you And I will wait I will wait for you

BREATHING UNDERWATER - Hot Milk This is very alt-rock emo of me, sorry rainbow

I tried breathing underwater to drown out the doubt Cracked under the pressure and nearly bled out You said you'd always save me - so where are you now? Feels like I'm failing, I'm dancing while drowning alone

Bells - The Unlikely Candidates Honestly I don't really care about the lyrics for this one, I just think I should throw something a bit more mellow after that last one and it's a good song so

And where we go, nobody knows Those bells are ringing, ringing loud Oh lord, we're going down - six underground Those bells are ringing, ringing loud

Razzmatazz - I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME Once again I throw a song in for the vibes and not the lyrics. Sue me

And now, well Some things just cannot be fixed With sparkled tongues and politics In a fascist little paradox, we all become anonymous

Rule #11 - My Dream, My Addiction - Fish in a Birdcage Okay, last one I'm adding for the vibes- for now

I, I've never seen a storm this fierce I, am feelin' rather small in here As the walls start to compress Shifting, squirming, restlessness

For You - Loveless Alright now here's a song I'm adding for the lyrics. It's also more on the rock song but it's not that heavy I don't think (maybe minus the bridge where it goes all heavy metal baseline for 8 or so bars)

Wasted my time Why would I ever waste another line on you, you? Crossing the line Why would I ever tell another lie for you, you?

Apologies - acloudyskye You must be something else if you thought we were getting out of this list without a skye song in here. This one isn't going to be everyone's cup of tea bc it's electronic but I like it so

I often think about their lives A fault in me I can't deny And in the end I won't even think So, apologies for all these things

Broken Zipper - Group Project You know I had to put a gp song on here somewhere. This one's def a more feel good song, also one I use to call myself out on with when I'm getting pissed about the little things Although it is a love song about crushing on your best friends sister or something? Whatever

You spend one week's worth of pay on your night out Wrote in pen and ran out of white out Lost your shades and it's much too bright out But who the fuck cares when you're breathing fine right now?

Could've Been Me - The Struts This song has made me cry, and that's an achievement when it's as upbeat of a song as it is

I wanna live better days Don't want to look back and say "It could've been me It could've been me"

Playing Dead - VIOLÀ Came because the song is an emo banger, stayed because I related to it a little while later. This one's also very rock, but I have to have a few in here

But if this is the last time I say sorry Then I'll take it back, 'cause I don't mean it You are the cancer in my body I'm done playing dead 'cause I still feel it

Through the Ghost - Shinedown No idea what living "through the ghost" means but it sounds poetic as hell

Speak of the devil, Look who just walked into the room The guilty invaded notion Of someone I once knew

Reason for Living - Morgan Page This song is actually for the beat saber soundtrack, and so is the next one. Naturally, it's on the more electronic/dance side of things but some of the lyrics are Big Mood™ so

'Cause I don't even sleep no more these days No such thing as staying up too late And nobody's at home waiting for me I'm staying up on a feeling - it's the reason for living

Heavy Weight (feat. Beat Saber) - Lindsey Stirling The fact that beat saber can get lindsey-fucking-stirling on a song is kind of crazy to me. Like. What

Heavy weight Feel it in my past mistakes But I think I've carried them For way too long

Inertia - AJR The shortest songname - artistname on this whole list, probably because it's competition is an artist who's name is abbreviated to IDKHBTFM. Anyway, when this came out I fucking Felt It hearing these words for the first time, and they still hit me the same way (maybe even more effectively than before)

An object in motion Don't ask where I'm going 'Cause where I am going is right where I am (Oh man!)

Alma Mater - Group Project This song reminds me of good times. Maybe not better times, but good ones that're long gone now.

I said "Hey, Why we always end up staying out late, Staying out late?"

It's a love song but I'm 100% not focused on that at all /gen

(Sad, yet) Impactful

Little commentary, songs in order of how impactful each of them are in my opinion (top = least, bottom = most) Also a good portion of these are probably heartbreak songs or smth but I'm pretending they're not like an aromantic would

Cellphone - Promoting Sounds & Nate Kest

It's getting late, I sipped too much Look at me strange, I'll be too blunt I'm easy to hate; I'm hard to love But you love me anyway - or is it lust?

I Won't Beg for You - Chri$tian Gate$

'Cause I won't beg for you, my dear These knees have bled, pulled out my hair Didn't know you tried to burn us down Even when we tried to work it out

Call Me - Shinedown

I finally put it all together But nothing really lasts forever I had to make a choice that was not mine I had to say goodbye for the last time

By The Way - Theory of a Deadman I usually listen to the "(Acoustic) [Bonus Track]" version of this song when I'm sad. figured that was worth mentioning so it isn't out of place (a hard rock song in the middle of a slower song list)

By the way You left without saying goodbye to me Now that you're gone, away All I can think about is you and me, you and me

Rayleigh Scattering - acloudyskye

And if it gets better It's taking forever And what's with this weather? It's not getting better

Before You Go - Lewis Capaldi

So Before you go Was there something I could've said to make it all feel better? If only I had known you had a storm to weather

Landing In London - 3 Doors Down

And when the night comes in around me And I don't think I'll make it through I'll use your light to guide my way 'Cause all I think about is you

Ashes of Eden - Breaking Benjamin

Are you with me after all? Why can't I hear you? Are you with me through it all? Then why can't I feel you?

To Build a Home - Grace Page

And I built a home For me, for you Until it disappeared From me, from you And now, it's time to leave and turn to dust...

Better Than Me - Bohnes

'Cause I Know that you Deserve better than me Better than me, yeah

My Body Is a Cage - Peter Gabriel This one's only here because of that full orchestra impact moment honestly

I'm standing on a stage Of fear and self doubt It's a hollow play But they'll clap anyway

No Time To Die - Billie Eilish

I should've known That I'd leave alone Just goes to show That the blood you bleed is just the blood you owe

My Immortal - Effervescent

These wounds won't seem to heal This pain is just too real There's just too much that time cannot erase

Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol

If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me And just forget the world?

Somewhere Out There - acloudyskye

It's over Oh, and under Under we go So far below

Full list, no commentary:

Alternative

I Will Wait - Mumford & Sons

BREATHING UNDERWATER - Hot Milk

Bells - The Unlikely Candidates

Razzmatazz - I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME

Rule #11 - My Dream, My Addiction - Fish in a Birdcage

For You - Loveless

Apologies - acloudyskye

Broken Zipper - Group Project

Could've been me - The Struts

Playing Dead - VIOLÀ

Through the Ghost - Shinedown

Reason for Living - Morgan Page

Heavy Weight (feat. Beat Saber) - Lindsey Stirling

Inertia - AJR

Alma Mater - Group Project

Impactful

Cellphone - Promoting Sounds & Nate Kest

I Won't Beg For You - Chri$tian Gate$

Call Me - Shinedown

By The Way (Acoustic) [Bonus Track] - Theory of a Deadman

Rayleigh Scattering - acloudyskye

Before you go - Lewis Capaldi

Landing in London - 3 Doors Down

Ashes of Eden - Breaking Benjamin

To Build a Home - Grace Page

Better Than me - Bhones

My Body Is a Cage - Gabe Peters

No Time to Die - Billie Eilish

My Immortal - Effervescent

Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol

Somewhere Out There - acloudyskye

[bromcommie]

Do you know (or have a theory about) what Bucky's role in the Thunderbolts will be? I assume he'll be part of the team but he also blows up the car with the T-bolts in it. That paired with the fact that he's in some of his WS gear, I am worried that the plot involves him getting brainwashed again :/

Ah, nonnie—idk if I’m the best go-to for this question seeing as how if I’m being completely honest, I’ve been checked out of the more detailed side of the “theorizing about new Marvel projects” game for a long while now, even (and maybe especially) when it comes to Bucky. I’m afraid every new bit of info is making me think they’re going to keep doing whatever the hell they feel like with him by taking that brand of inconsistent I’ve unfortunately come to associate with his storyline to brand new heights. Not for nothing, but there’s very little even in the way TFATWS “concluded” his arc that’s indicative of him having any place being in the Thunderbolts in the first place.

All of that said, lemme give it my best go based off of gut feeling and previous experience. We do only get so much from that trailer however, and I’ve only seen it the once, and I also might just be completely off-base, so take all of this with a sizable grain of salt:

First of all, I’ve seen the brainwashing hypothesis thrown around a bunch, but here’s the thing: I really don’t think the WS getup has anything much to do with anything. Not to be too cynical, and as lovely as seeing everyone on here picking over some of the details in the costuming and props is—‘tis what I love about this fandom, after all—I truly think we’re past the point in the MCU (if we were ever really there to begin with) where those elements actually have a deeper narrative motivation other than simple vibes, especially in a major team-up like this one.

Now, would I personally love to see one last badass, hurts-so-good farewell omage to the Winter Soldier in all of his Henry Jackman-SKREECH-soundtrack-fueled glory, no matter how thin the justification behind it is? Hell yes. Do I think that’s what we’ll be getting? Nah, not really, and somehow that’s not necessarily better.

If I had to take a guess, I’d say the gear’s there to evoke a sense of him not being entirely his own (a la the Zemo/Madripoor ruse in TFATWS) but that the whole thing’s not really looking like brainwashing at all. Partly because even in those 20 seconds or so we get of him, sure: there’s the grenade launcher, there’s the bike, there’s the wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am of it all, but I’m not really seeing any of that near-manic, laser-focus Winter Soldier energy. I’m just seeing a kind of grim, tired, possibly very pissed off guy-who-is-supposed-to-be-Bucky. With some mean shades on.

The second reason is more on the Doylist side of things: this is them making him a full-on, credit-carrying main character the second time around. At this point, no matter how much I wish it weren’t the case, I honestly doubt they can afford to backpedal on their decision to mostly ignore the previously established canon of Bucky being an unwilling victim of HYDRA’s violence, and am assuming they’ll continue to lean in to him instead being a somewhat conscious perpetrator of it and therefore a viable contender for the Main Character mantle, as well as a part of the Thunderbolts in the first place—seeing as how their whole schtick is that they’re essentially Discount Bin Bad Guys Redeeming Themselves. (I will hereby refrain from discussing all the OTHER characters in that team-up who have also been set up as having all their autonomy very explicitly stripped from them. But know that I am thinking it and shaking my head.) In the framework that they’ve created which has one too many weird victim blaming pillars, having Bucky once again be under direct and full mental and physical control of someone else would be simply incompatible with that protagonist qualifier. And even if they were to backtrack on that decision, it’d still make for an ever more contradictory and regressive storyline, not least of all because they’ve also already established that the brainwashing doesn’t really work anymore. Which leads me to my last point—

There’s really nothing left for them to brainwash him with, I feel like. The Winter Soldier stakes are gone and doubly buried with TFATWS. The code words are gone, or at least that’s what they’ve made a big point of making us believe. Unless they decide to pull another hitherto unknown device to replace them with out of their ass last minute, or to, for some godforsaken reason, reintroduce The ChairTM (which again, seeing him be subject to torture and literal brainwashing and very much not in control wouldn’t really work with the whole “he needs to make amends for the crimes he Definitely Committed Knowingly and Willingly, No Guys For Real” thing they’ve decided to roll with), I frankly don’t see a way for anyone to have that kind of absolute power over him.

Ultimately, I just don’t think they’d even waste that much time setting up those aspects of the character again, especially since from what I’ve seen Bucky’s not even going to be in the movie all that long. Which makes the reasoning of why they’re going for that particular facet of his aesthetic even more confusing, other than, once again, pure ~vibes~.

So, to summarize: no, I don’t think he’s going to be brainwashed, or at least there’s no way for them to do that without once again trampling all over their own canon. Which on one hand, yay! (Said oh so very tiredly.) On the other: I think what that leaves us with is something way closer to 616!Bucky’s comics arc than what we’ve ever had so far, meaning Bucky once again “atoning” for his misdeeds as the Winter Soldier, and likely being under the government’s boot for much of it. And look, while I love 616!Bucky, identical brothers he and MCU!Bucky are not. Any setup we get for this transition would have to be…speedy at best, and nonsensical at worst. How and why his arc would suddenly entail going after a bunch of random rogues as, I’m assuming, some kind of twisted arm of the CIA/Valentina/the US government at large (??), when the last time we saw him he was supposedly finally free and readjusting to society or whatever—fuck if I know. Regular old extortion/blackmail/emotional manipulation of some kind is my best bet, or some last-minute addition to his pardon made for political gain.

In any case—sure, better than the regular old 2015 Bucky brainwashing angst, but only in the way that it’s more of the same done in a different way. I personally don’t like any of the implications this has any better.

But that’s just me going off of the minimal visuals we got so far + wariness derived from unfortunately being a Bucky fan for a good decade now, lol. I still have no idea how any of it’ll play into him being the supposed “de facto leader” of the team, or whether he’ll get there willingly, or even whether the writers of this project will have taken into account any of the previous installments as some others have decided against in the past. (Looking at you, Spellman. Good lord.) My second best guess is that they’ll have him play some kind of mediatory role between the government and the Thunderbolts, seeing as how he’s been around the longest—some fucked up kind of big brother act, if you will, as an extension of that whole “redeeming himself” business—and then possibly kill him off/retire him for good. But other than that I really…don’t know, and haven’t really thought that far ahead since I cannot for the life of me get a feel for what the hell this movie’s tone is even supposed to be, and it’s making me uh…not care too much about it, I’m sorry to say.

But then again and in that same vein, I’m also trying not to assign any particular meaning to anything I’m seeing. For all I know they could decide to retcon him again or shoot him up into space to be Nick Fury’s Man on the Wall instead of killing him off. It’s the Wild Wild and Yet Still Sadly Often Predictable West out there.

I guess we’ll just have to wait and see?

[fruityfroggy]

ASGKJKUYFG TYSM @anonymocha FOR GIVING ME A DIRECTION TO GO WITH MY RAMBLINGS<3

Anyways…oh Verdigris, I’ve come up with so many extra bits and pieces to her lore in the past month or so and I didn’t really get to talk about her in the first place, so I’m glad that someone’s interested (this is gonna be so long, I can feel it)

First things first, we’ll get the big thing out of the way: her arcane skill. Kind of a big part of her story is how she is a “plant whisperer”, which means that she’s able to hear the voices of plants and therefore communicate with them. This made her form a prominent sense of empathy for plants, as they are unheard by everyone except her.

(Now, a lot of the things I’ll mention about Verdigris will make a lot more sense)

So a fun little fact is that plants have a “way of speaking” that sounds more poetic than your normal speech, since they’re just describing things based off of what they know from nature. And because of her arcane skill, Verdigris does talk like them a little (which just comes off as being poetic/dramatic). Another thing that comes with this “way of speaking” are “Titles of the Plants”, which is the thing that you remind the plants of, that they therefore refer to you by (Vertin is “The Wandering Wind”, Sonetto is “The Shade in Daylight”, etc).

Why am I mentioning this? Well but of course it’s for yuri reasons! Because this is the perfect way for Verdigris to subtly and sapphic-ly pine for a certain arcanist by the title: Ray of Sun (and who this refers to is not disclosed). She mentions this “Ray of Sun” quite frequently in her diary, which I’d imagine could be one of those pages of text you can find between stages, as well as in her intimacy voiceline (which I haven’t written, but we can imagine, okay).

Anywho…when it comes to interacting with other arcanists, Verdigris is very much the most likeable out of my three ocs here (she’s just a cinnamon roll, not toxic or hard to communicate with). So she gets along with basically everyone in the suitcase. Chaotic or calm, she’s patient enough to talk to them. Tho she’s the closest with Lilya I’d say, since they’re bonding over a shared language/heritage and shut up, it’s adorable. Especially since Verdigris didn’t have anyone to speak Russian to for a long time (she lived in Spain, that’s why) and Russian was her mother’s language (she never got to meet her, so it holds special significance to her (things are getting angsty haha)). This problem was the whole reason she created her own critters actually. But hey, now she has someone and the vibes are good again.

As for their dynamic, it’s obvious that they have a “balancing each other out” situation, and I like to call it “Lilya and her designated driver” as a joke. But truthfully, Verdigris is surprisingly down with most of her shenanigans and no one understands why. Lilya kinda just wants to show Verdigris all the “fun stuff” she usually does, and she just goes along with it while some of the other arcanists watch them in horror (they’re just having a good time tho). When Verdigris is busy, Lilya would go visit her workshop to see what she’s doing like: "What you making, Verdie?:]" (she finds it interesting).

Considering what she does, I feel like Verdigris would probably be crossing paths with Medpoc kinda often as well (hehe). Verdigris just isn’t super affected by Medpoc’s hostility, and still treats them very well after getting yelled at. Once they warm up to her tho, she kinda becomes their emotional support (aka the person they rant to while she hands them a cookie or smth), and they’d pass out together while working across from each other, since neither of them remember to sleep (or do anything else).

I also think that she could help Shamane repair and/or upgrade his mechanical arm (since that’s kinda her specialty), and in turn gain a new father figure. Shamane would definitely like her Dendrogues and greet them when he sees them hopping around as well.

Some honourable mentions are the other calm healers (Dikke and Tooth Fairy). Dikke would grow fond of Verdigris for how fair and thoughtful is, but she'd tell her to not be so tolerant of everything. As for her and Tooth Fairy’s situation, they actually have pretty similar vibes, so they’d probably do some somewhat questionable things together that aren’t so questionable if they’re doing it, like baking together (there’s definitely no tooth fairies in the muffins they’re making, don’t question the taste of plums) and going out into the forest to look for teeth.

Oh right! Verdigris also has a small interaction with Pristine after implanting the new heart she made for her, since Pristine’s original heart (crystal) is the thing that makes her body possessable to Arcana (there’s some context from this post that is needed to understand what I’m talking about). This is a big plot point in Pristine’s story, so guess who’s growing attached to Verdigris. Yeah, she kinda just follows her around whenever she sees her from there on out, maybe even tugs on her sleeve saying “Where art thou headed to? Let me go with thee!” (Welcome to motherhood, Verdigris!)