#seyeon x reader | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

dongfuck · 3 years ago

Text

#2 February 14th (Voicemails) - l.dh

pairing: bf/ex!donghyuck x fem reader

genre: angst, fluff (a lot more this time)

warnings: toxic relationship, cheating but not really cheating, verbally fighting, lots of curse words, haechan is a jerk and so are you, they’re both annoying asf, drinking, smoking, reader cries a lot, use of hyuckie (phone contact), kissing (yeah, finally ik), mentions of sex (literally just twice), jisung crying :((, heavy twist of events

wc: 6.2k

note: (NOT PROOFREAD) finally finished this two-part series 😩 thank you all for reading! i hope the ending doesn’t disappoint you all much?? HAHA anyways enjoy <33

taglist: @aedreamzy , @mark-wife-renjun-whore , @ashkuuuu , @subhyuck , @yutaily , @edeljn , @mlee8299 , @minniehyuck , @ffuullssuunn , @cozmaslow , @squishy-pink , @punnshine , @justalonelynctzen , @woofie-nctzen-fanarts-320 , @jenyongcas , @seazznie , @yunnnnnnie , @strawxerrie , @starfulmaeum , @alluringlyxe , @ne0yong , @kpoploverxx-12 , @mahae66 , @youngjaesbabyy

teaser

Part one

songs to listen to while you read: Like Strangers Do - AJ Mitchell, The Only Exception - Paramore, Back 2 U - NCT 127, Slow Dancing in a Burning Room - John Mayer, Lucky - Jason Mraz, Because I Love You - Yoo Jae Ha, If I Ain’t Got You - Alicia Keys, Read My Mind - The Killers, Traitor - Olivia Rodrigo, Gone - Rosé, Paris in The Rain - Lauv

“so. tell me. what did he do this time.” asked rosé. she had a stern look on her face as she sipped on her coffee.

you chuckled nervously at her behaviour. you wanted to tell her but could you? is it okay to let her know what’s going on in your relationship? i mean you haven’t even told jisung yet, whom you tell everything.

“it’s uh, nothing serious… just small fights, like always.” you smiled reassuringly, but she wasn’t buying it.

“y/n. i know you ever since i started working at that coffee shop. which was like, 4 years ago. i care for you y/n. why’re you still with him anyways?”

it was your turn to take a sip of your drink. “it’s hard rosie… you know how much i love him…” you placed your cup down before sighing dejectedly.

her eyes soften at how miserable you look. you yourself can’t comprehend why you’re still trailing behind haechan. not wanting to leave him even for a second.

rosé reached over and grabbed your hand softly, rubbing small circles on it. “i know. but he’s no good for you y/n,” she retracted her hand. “how many times has he left you whenever the two of you were bickering? when was the last time he ever said ‘i love you’ to you or even gave you a hug?” she questions, trying to prove her point.

“actually…” you scratched the cup that was still in your hold lightly. “most of it is partially my fault, i’m the one who rejects his affection. it’s just… i don’t know— it feels wrong…” looking down at your lap, you slowly bit your lip anxiously.

rosé furrowed her eyebrows at your statement. what exactly do you mean?

“what do you mean? are you… seeing someone else or—”

“seoyeon.” fucking seyeon. it’s always seoyeon.

you lifted your head to meet her eyes when she asked, “seoyeon? who’s that?”

you took a deep breath before blurting out everything you know about her, including her relationship with haechan.

“seoyeon is haechan’s ex. his ex who he loves very much, even up till this day. she has always been dating haechan throughout high school. that was, until i came along. she’s a bit older than me, haechan’s age. me and jisung were new to the school so the only people we talked to were each other, until we started hanging with chenle. you remember him right? the one with the orange hair? yeah. chenle introduced me to haechan and we started talking when i was in my sophomore year. and fast forward a couple years later on his graduation day, he broke up with seoyeon. i don’t know the reason why he did such but a few weeks after the breakup, he asked me out on a date, which i hesitantly agreed to. i didn’t like him back then so i’m not really sure why i said yes. maybe it was because it’s the first time i got asked out? maybe it was because he was the hottest guy there? or maybe it’s simply because of the lust of a teenage girl. we didn’t start dating until two years ago though. you probably know that already.”

the whole time you were talking, rosé was listening intently, finally figuring out that this whole ordeal was because of seoyeon.

“so the cause of this fight was because of seoyeon?”

“something like that.”

you were about to take a bite of your untouched cake but was stopped mid-way when your phone rang from your front pocket.

you curiously drew it out before looking at the caller id. ‘Sungie’ you read as you gulped down the lump in your throat. you tried not to answer the call but what if it was something important? what if he’s in trouble? and with that thought, you cautiously swiped right and placed the phone to your ear.

“hello?” you called out. “y/n, are you okay? i found haechan at a bar, drunk. he told me he’s sorry for what he did to you? i don’t know. i think you should come here.” he insisted.

you weren’t convinced. you promised to yourself that you weren’t going to see his pathetic face ever again so you lied to jisung, something you never do.

“i’m sorry jisung. but i’m quite busy right now. maybe you should just deal with him.” and with that you ended the call and let out a deep breath.

“what’s wrong?” she had her brows furrowed when she asked you. “haechan’s drunk. again.” you sighed audibly.

hearing that, rosé aggressively rolled her eyes and took another long sip of her coffee, coughing most of it out after.

“serves him right. he’s been treating you like shit.” she said between coughs.

you snickered lowly at her but left no response.

“she’s not coming.” jisung sighed as he looked at haechan in pity. “i don’t even know why i’m helping you right now.” he sat down next to the other guy before chugging down a shot.

“thanks anyways.”

“what exactly happened between the two of you, if you don’t mind me asking?” jisung twisted his head to face haechan.

donghyuck groaned after taking his shot, grimacing at the bitter taste. “it’s complicated.” he set the small empty glass down.

“of course it is.” jisung rolled his eyes at the former, although he does understand that it’s none of business.

noticing the lack of response, jisung raised his right arm and rubbed it against haechan’s back soothingly. as if attempting to calm him down. jisung’s always good at this stuff.

after doing so, he heard small sobs coming from the boy next to him, startling him a little.

“haechan hyung are you—”

“don’t touch me.”

jaemin had came over to your place, he probably heard about what happened since he looked devastated when he walked in.

you saw how he’d brought a pink box with him when he arrived but didn’t think much of it.

“hey…” he smiled softly when you sat him down in front of you.

“what’s up…?”

“you probably heard about what happened and uh… i wanted to give you this,” he placed the box he’d carried between the both of you, staring down at his crossed-legs. “it’s a little gift to make you feel better, i figured you must’ve been sad or maybe even angry after you were told about the news.”

you carefully took the box onto your lap and undid the ribbon, slowly peeking at the contents of it—

no way…

you lifted the gift as you stared at him in shock— is this real? why would he give me such present? it wasn’t anything expensive but you’ve always wanted to be gifted something of the sort.

he noticed the way you reacted and reached over behind before scratching his neck. “i’d intended on giving this to you as a casual gift since— i didn’t mean to eavesdrop! but i overheard you talking to haechan ‘bout how you’ve always wanted this, and now i think it’s the right time to give it to you.” he looked everywhere but you.

“thank you, jaem. really. i would hug you right now but that would make things worst so…”

“yeah… um anyways uh i hope you’re doing fine. i actually gotta go, um— er— i’m meeting a friend, so i’ll catch up with you later!” he got up from his crossed-legged position and headed towards the door, looking back at you to wave contently.

“‘course.” you said before he left.

finally, you were alone in the quiet of your room. you were wondering about what you should do while you’re alone but nothing came to mind. you’d clean the house but it’s already clean. you’d cook but you weren’t hungry. you’d read a book but you’ve already read every single one you own. you’d watch a tv show but there isn’t anything interesting to watch. so alas, you settled with just sitting on your favourite sofa and think.

think and think. think about your relationship. think about how much of a mess your life is right now. think about what you’re going to eat for dinner later. just, the basic things.

as you were thinking, there was a sudden ring of your phone, but you couldn’t be arsed to pick it up. all you need right now is to be alone without any disruptions.

you tried to ignore the overly played ringtone coming from your phone but it wouldn’t stop. eventually, you threw your hand to the direction of your phone and picked it up.

“hello?” you said hastily, you felt like completely passing out at the moment.

“y/n? finally—”

“haechan?” you asked, before pulling the phone away from your ear for a second to take a look at the caller id and it was indeed, your boyfriend.

you heard him groan lightly from the other side of the phone before continuing. “yes, it’s me. can we please meet up?” he plead.

god, not this again. you were tired of meeting with people today. for now, you just wanted some time for yourself.

“sorry, hyuck. i’m tired.”

“oh… it’s— it’s fine then. tomorrow?” he insisted.

“whatever.” and with that you ended the call and pressed your back against the cushion, sighing before thinking some more.

you woke up to the sound of your front door opening. is someone breaking in? you thought, but you were too tired to get up so you ended up laying on your bed as you waited for whatever the intruder might do, stupid i know.

it wasn’t until the door knob of your bedroom door that you’re currently staring at twisted that you jolted up in horror. am i going to die tonight?

with wide eyes you stared up at the door, slowly lifting the blanket over your head. when it finally opens, you let out a terrified squeal just to see that it was, you guessed it. donghyuck.

“oh my fucking god! you couldn’t have called or something??” you took a pillow before throwing it over at him furiously.

your heart was still beating really fast even after catching the culprit, which you blame him for.

“i’m sorry! i—i didn’t want to disturb you while you were sleeping!” he defended.

at that, you got up from your sitting position and walked towards him, eyeing him up and down suspiciously.

“how did you know i was sleeping?”

“y/n. it’s freaking 2 am. of course you’d be asleep by now.”

“good point.” you walked past haechan and headed towards the kitchen behind him. “are you hungry?”

why? why am i still doing this for him even after he impregnated his ex? i must be fucking stupid to still be wrapped around his finger.

“no, i just— i just wanted to spend the night with you… i’m sorry…”

you were grateful for having your back facing him ‘cause this way, he couldn’t see your eyes brimming with tears, ready to fall.

“we’ll talk about this tomorrow.” you said before continuing your walk to the kitchen.

you grabbed a glass from the cabinet and filled it up with water to busy yourself. you weren’t exactly thirsty but you felt like you needed a glass of ice cold water right now.

donghyuck was still standing by the door frame when you jogged back towards it, but before you could enter, he held your arm firmly and muttered under his breath something that wasn’t quite audible but loud enough for you to take in.

“can i… can i kiss you?” he looked to the ground, biting his lips softly.

to say that you were shocked was an understatement, he’d never ask for a kiss from you before. of course, he was always the one who initiated kisses between the two of you but he’d never asked. easy to say, he stole them from you. just like he did with your first kiss.

“it’s been a while since we… you know and— i missed you…”

should i? i mean he’s still technically my boyfriend… or something of the sort.

after a hot minute of silence, you finally gave in to the thought and kissed him. you kissed him for the first time in 5 weeks.

the feeling of his soft lips against yours felt— selcouth. it wasn’t like the way he used to kiss you. he used to kiss you with love and passion but this time it was… sorrowful, downhearted, depressing almost.

you could feel his emotions through that one kiss and it made your heart ache. it was like he was telling you that his feelings were mutual and he wanted you to stay but you knew those feelings were long gone.

you definitely still loved him but you can’t stand him anymore. you felt stupid, idiotic, foolish to be always taking his side and telling yourself that it wasn’t his fault, it was xyz’s.

but just for tonight. you’ll give in to his lust and go wherever the wind takes you, just for tonight.

the night was long. really.

a lot of… eventful things happened that night but i’m not going to go into detail. let’s just say that the sex was doleful.

evenfall came and you were sitting across haechan, both as serious as ever. you were going to tell him. you were going to let him know your feelings towards him. you were going to tell him what you want.

“haechan, i have to tell you something…” you looked at your lap, hands shaking lightly form the nervousness.

“i’m listening.”

you took a deep breath multiple times before finally gaining the courage to be a woman and get this over with.

“i’m breaking up with you.” you mumbled lowly, but still audible enough for hyuck to hear.

“w—what? what do you mean? you wanna breakup? is— is it because of seo—” he stammered, standing up to look at you from above.

“it’s just not working! i— i’m tired donghyuck… i just can’t deal living with you anymore! you’re just so— controlling! you always tell me what i can or cannot do without even thinking about what i feel! you don’t even let me hang out with my best friend anymore these days! you’re even suspicious about my brother?! you’re fucking delusional! and to think that you got your ex pregnant just makes it worst! i’ve been thinking about this for a while now and i think i’m finally done with you. last night was immaculate, i’ll give you that, but it just might be the last time.” you face was covered with dried tears at this point, still refusing to make eye contact with your almost ex.

“y/n… i— i never intended to make you feel this way, i just…” he took a deep breath “all of them just makes me feel like you’re gonna leave me. you’re gonna leave me for them, and i just can’t help it! i hate it when you give jisung more attention when i’m right next to you, i hate it when your brother thinks i’m not good enough for you, and i especially hate it when you go out with one of my friends without me knowing! i get it, my friends are your friends but you can’t just not tell me when you’re going out with them… it makes me think that you’re possibly cheating on me with one of the guys! and about seoyeon, yes, i did sleep with her while we were dating but it was an accident! i was mad at you for whatever reason so just to make you feel what i felt, i fucked her! i was out of my fucking mind at that time and i regret ever laying a finger on her! and i’m sorry that i slapped you the other day, i just… i— i lost control…”

you were… speechless. i mean, what would you say in this type of situation? you didn’t even know if you wanted to go through with breakup anymore, you felt bad for him for some reason. and seeing his tears fall and land on his jeans that you bought for him on his birthday didn’t help. but then you started to overthink. what if he’s manipulating you? we all know he’s a manipulative bitch so it’s not a surprise if he does so even in this kind of situation.

you slowly lifted your right hand and pulled him to sit down next to you before patting at his back and giving him a loose hug.

“i believe you, i really do. and i wish i could accept you back… but i can’t. i’m sorry, hyuck, but i think we’re finally over.”

[ 19.48 ] voicemail from — hyuckie 💗

“y/n i’m sorry, i really am! please just call me back…”

you were sitting silently in your home, listening to the voicemails from haechan that seemed never ending.

[ 19.55 ] voicemail from — hyuckie 💗

“we have to talk, this can’t end like this!”

[ 19.58 ] voicemail from — hyuckie 💗

“please talk to me… it’s been a week and 3 days and i really miss you.”

yeah right. that wasn’t what he said when he left you waiting for him for two weeks and then came back just to slap you. what a fake.

[ 20.05 ] voicemail from — hyuckie 💗

“fine, if you don’t want to talk to me in person then i guess i’ll just tell you right now.”

[ 20.31 ] voicemail from — hyuckie 💗

“i took some time thinking about what you’d said last week and i understand why you cut ties with me. but i just want to let you know that i still love you, a lot, even if you don’t feel the same way. but please i’m begging you, if you don’t want to get back with me and prefer to end all romantic communications you have with me, at least, just at least can we still be friends? i don’t think i can live without being anywhere close to you. i want to see you, to make you smile and laugh, to bring you cake pops everyday… just like the old times. i might sound cheesy saying this but i miss seeing your face staring back at me every morning when i wake up. i miss the way you blush and put your hair behind your ear whenever i compliment you. i just miss everything about you. i wanted to be there for you whenever you felt upset about something, but right now, i think i’m the one who’s causing all of your stress… and i’m terribly sorry for that. i’ve never wanted to hurt or see you cry— except in bed, because of me. not just because of me, because of anything in general, it just hurts me really bad whenever you have that ugly frown on your face. i hope you um… take my words into mind and maybe think about it a little because i miss you more than my grandma.”

is haechan… for real? you’ve never heard him speak in such seriousness before and it pains you to see— well how much it pains him. and before you knew it, your favourite t-shirt was painted with tears as you mumbled a small, “idiot…” at his late grandma’s reference between both sobs and chuckles. poor nanny.

you decided to finally turn on your tv after like 3 days of not watching it. the show ‘Break Up or Make Up?’ was played the second you pressed the power button on the remote.

it showed a young couple holding hands by the beach as they looked at each other in adoration. out of the blue, the narrator spoke “in the end, who would’ve thought that the couple that never seems to stop bickering still ended up together even after everything?”

just like your relationship, you thought. but you were sure that you weren’t getting back with him anymore, no matter how hard he tries.

“you need to stop drinking, bro.” renjun patted haechan’s back, softly warning him of the consequences if he doesn’t stop.

“i can drink as much as i want to. fuck off.” he rolled his eyes at his friend, chugging the last bit of alcohol in the small shot glass.

finally having had enough, renjun snatched the glass away from him before giving him and earful. “dude! this is your 27th glass tonight! do you wanna pass out until the next morning? this is not healthy for you man!”

reaching over to his friend, donghyuck attempted to grab the glass back but failed when he suddenly toppled over the former and almost falling face first. “i miss her renjun.” there he goes again. he’s only been talking about how much he wants to clean his mess up and make you his again ever since they got there.

“and is drinking gonna bring her back? she’ll probably hate you even more if she sees you like this. you look like a fucking loser!” renjun replied.

and just as realisation hit him, haechan got up from his seat and proceeded to walk out of the small pub. not forgetting to yell a “i’m going for a smoke!” as he exited the place.

once he was out of the pub, he pulled out a box of cigarettes along with a lighter he always carries around in case of an emergency.

he stopped smoking a year ago because of you but he thought that in times like this, what’s wrong with a little smoke right? he was about to light the stick when as if on cue, you walk pass in front of him, not sparing him a glance until he called out for you.

“y/n? what’re you doing here?” eyes wide, he looked at you up and down before questioning you again. “are you meeting someone?” he asked with slight hesitancy.

you swiftly turned around at the sound of the familiar voice, the strong scent of tequila suffocating you.

“yes. i’m meeting my friends and were you drin—” you were going to ask him if he was drinking even though you knew the answer but was cut off when you saw the cig between his fore and middle finger, ready to be lit.

“you got back to smoking?” straightforwardly, you put a question to it. it was almost like there was a small interrogation between you two with all the questions.

“oh this? uh—” he tried to hide it it his leather jacket before you stopped him. “it’s okay, you don’t have to hide it. it’s not like i can stop you anymore.”

there was an intense silence for a hot second in the air which you decided break. “um anyways i uh i’ll get going now. see you next time, bye.” you sprinted towards the café you were supposed to be meeting your friends at. you were thankful you didn’t choose to wear heels today.

“huh. i guess drinking really did bring her back. the more you know, am i right?” renjun snickered behind hyuck.

“shut up before i take this umbrella, shove it up your arse and open it.”

the next day, there was a ring of your bell, again. the sound alerting you who was busy finishing up some work.

god. this was the 9th time this week that haechan’d been sending you gifts, and it’s only thursday! you were grateful, yes, but this was too much. and the gifts are probably worth more than your month’s salary!

you were planning on giving it back to him though, you couldn’t just accept such gifts from him. in the meantime, you were also thinking about how you can stop him from trying to win you back. you aren’t going back to him anytime soon so you wanted him to stop before he gets too disappointed.

finally after days of consideration, you decided that now is the best time to meet up with him and talk to him in person.

‘meet me at you-know-which-place in 20.’ you sent a text to him, the message being immediately read after you sent it. ‘omw’

fast-forward 15 minutes later, you were patiently waiting for the arrival of the awaited guest by a small river.

the place was empty, just like always. this was a common spot for the two of you. you guys accidentally found it when you were trying to look for a place to hook up. since then, this was your hang out or date spot. the place was beautiful, there’s a river along the path leading to god knows where, a vintage fountain at the centre of the park along with some flowers decorating it.

people rarely come here as it was quite hidden. the most you experienced was no more than 15 people. you were surprised that such place hadn’t gained any attention from the public, but a part of you was glad it wasn’t acknowledged as the peace and quietness of the park calms you.

as you were deep in thought, there was a light tap on your left shoulder, startling you in the process. “oh. hey…” you scooted to your left on the small bench, leaving space for the other.

“thanks.” he took a seat. “what is it you wanted to talk about?” said haechan as he admired the ducks swimming in the water.

“hyuck… i— please just—” sighs “please leave me alone…” you stared at your hands. “you shouldn’t be doing this, i mean we’re over! and that’s final! and i’m not gonna get back with you even if you gift me a house.” straightforwardly, you blurted. only now realising he might’ve gotten hurt at your words.

he was dumbfounded. i mean anyone would’ve reacted the same. what were you really supposed to say when someone literally goes off at you? “oh… i— i see… yeah um i guess i’ll stop…” he got up and attempted to leave, but then it started raining.

great. utterly great. now the both of you were all soaked and what makes the situation worst is the fact that none of you brought umbrellas. how could’ve you forgotten your umbrella when you literally bring it everywhere?

he saw your change of demeanour and as if it was his first instinct, he pulled you off the bench and guided you towards the open parking lot. it wasn’t even a lot it was just… a space.

“are you okay?” he asked once you were in his car, shivering lightly. when you didn’t respond, he spoke again. “i’ll go see if i have a towel or something.” and he sprinted to the back.

you lifted your bottom lightly from the seat knowing how much donghyuck hates it when his seats are wet.

he came back just to see you hovering over the leathered seat before chucking softly. “it’s okay, you can sit down. i’ll just wipe it off later. oh and here,” he handed you a maroon coloured towel he got from the trunk. “i use it for whenever i go swimming but i haven’t used it in a while so…”

silence

“i’m sorry, hyuck.” you looked down, afraid to face him.

“what for?” asked haechan, genuinely. you were hesitant to say it but it felt right. all the things you’ve done up until now feels wrong and is hypothetical wrong. so you wanted to do something that makes you feel good, that makes you feel free.

“i know… i know i’ve been a bad girlfriend for these past two years and i’m also aware of all the bullshit i say to you… but i never mean them… sometimes i just feel like you’re this annoying freak and i thought that saying things that could’ve possibly hurt you would make me feel better. but i guess i was wrong since it makes me feel like a terrible person. i hope you can forgive me and find somebody who is willing to replace me—”

“hey, hey, what’re you saying? i’m never replacing you with anyone! besides emma watson or zendaya or—” glares “okay, okay, i’m sorry. but seriously, i wouldn’t replace you with anyone. even if it’s zendaya.”

you tried to hide the grin formed on your lips but you couldn’t. which resulted to you bursting into a fit of laughter. you don’t even know why you’re laughing i mean it’s not like he was telling a joke or something right…?

“why’re you laughing! it’s true!” haechan laughed along with you. heart beating at an unsteady pace as he watched you with complete joy and… love.

‘i wish i’d seen this side of you more often, y/n…”

it was fun, you admit. the little outing you’d done with haechan a couple of hours earlier was fun. but now you’re stuck in your house with no motive. there was barely anything you could do. just like the last time you were here.

you didn’t want to think this time though, thinking’ll just make your head hurt much more than it already is. it started hurting the moment you stepped foot in your place, figuring it might be the stress you were getting lately, you acted as if it was nothing and made your way up the stairs and into your bathroom, not bothering to take off your clothes before doing so.

you latched your hand onto the metal knob of the shower before twisting it and letting the hot water flow in sophisticated directions on your body.

you raised both of your hands and placed them gently on your burning face, groaning loudly afterwards.

everything’s just too much for you right now. you just broke up with your boyfriend who you still love a lot, barely showing up at work due to your selfishness, you’re not even answering calls from jisung anymore.

you took your time in the shower to just rethink your life decisions. the why and what ifs of life.

what if you hadn’t agreed on going out with him two years ago? why did you think he was gonna treat you like he said he would? what if you hadn’t become friends with jisung in the first place? would the two of you still be together?

it took you about two hours to finally leave the shower and fiddle with the clothes in your closet. you were gonna go to sleep anyway, so why’re you picking clothes?

finally found something decent, you threw it on and laid comfortably on your bed, pulling out your phone from the nightstand beside you.

you looked at the amount of missed calls you’d gotten from both haechan and jisung. at this point, you were starting to get worried, there weren’t any voicemails this time though— oh wait. there is… one.

[ 21.21 ] voicemail from — Sungie

“y/n— please, please come to— there i just sent you the address. come here now!”

there were deep breaths between each word he muttered. you scrolled through your notifications until your eyes landed on the one jisung was talking about, the address. your eyes flickered to the time the message was sent before reading it aloud softly.

you averted your gaze to the digital clock next to you as the numbers ‘22.38’ glowed.

“fuck.”

you got to your car as quickly as possible before clicking on the directions option on the address jisung sent you and driving off to the place.

something was off, you could feel it. but you probably shouldn’t be overthinking much… no. no, you shouldn’t. you were silently going mad at the thought of donghyuck getting hurt. of course, you were still mad at him, but you weren’t a monster to the point where you’d be happy if something did actually happened to him. no, that’s cruel. no matter how many times he’d hurt you, both physically and mentally, you still find yourself chasing after him. scared of letting go.

and that’s when you wake up… to the sound of jisung calling for you. this isn’t real. none of it is. it was all a dream.

“hey, babe, you okay? you’ve been sleeping for the whole day. are you feeling alright?” he chuckled seeing your disoriented expression.

“what— donghyuck— where’s donghyuck?” you asked as you grabbed onto his arm, pulling yourself up from your laying position.

jisung had his eyebrows furrowed, looking at you with pure confusion and perplexity. “donghyuck? who’s that? i don’t know a donghyuck… why?” he held your hand and rubbed circles over it, soothing you a little.

“what..? uh— how about rosé? renjun? jeno? jaemin? chenle? seoyeon?” your eyes were almost the size of a couple of eight balls at this point.

“rosé’s working, renjun’s out with chenle, jeno just got back from busan and he’s in the guest room right now, whoever seoyeon is, i don’t know her, and jaemin’s… he’s in the back. i’ll call him for you if you wan—”

“wait—” you laughed and pulled your hand away from jisung, still confused from everything. “so you’re telling me, that there’s no donghyuck nor seoyeon? you’re joking right? lee donghyuck, or you may also know as haechan, is my boyfriend— ex, whatever. where is he? i remember you leaving me a voicemail and an address— wait i’ll show you.”

you grasped your phone from your back pocket and looked through it. but to your surprise, there was nothing but instagram notifications and a few messages from your friends. you went to your phone app and looked for haechan’s contact but none. there was nothing that could prove that everything that happened, was indeed real.

jisung looked… unhappy and a little bit disappointed when you met his eyes again. averting his gaze onto his lap, he stammered between light sobs. “y/n… are you— are you seeing another guy?”

sorry? what does he mean? i’m seeing another guy? what?

“what do you—”

“i’m your boyfriend y/n. and now that you’re suddenly talking about this donghyuck guy being your ‘boyfriend’ makes me feel like you’re cheating on me… so be honest with me y/n… are you going out with him without me knowing? i’ll— i’ll try to understand you and fix whatever i did wrong but please just answer me truthfully—”

“sung… i— i don’t know…”

and so you told him everything. everything about your dream. about your so called relationship with this donghyuck that you don’t even know is real or not. about how he got seoyeon pregnant, how you guys started dating 2 years ago, just everything.

to say he was flabbergasted was an understatement. he looked like he was gonna laugh-cry the whole time you were explaining your stupid dream to him. who would’ve thought that the man you claimed your boyfriend, wasn’t even real!

“y-you know what, let’s go grab some coffee, i think you need something to… clear your head a little.” he snickered. “don’t laugh at me!”

it didn’t take you that long to reach the all too familiar café since it was just roughly about 4 blocks away.

“you go take a seat. i’ll order for the both of us.” jisung insisted, which you complied.

you chose to sit at the usual spot, the farthest one from the entrance. with nothing to do, you turned your head as you looked at the people exiting and entering the café. until one particular boy caught your eye.

donghyuck.

he was sitting across, what looks like his girlfriend, wearing denim on denim. denim cap, denim jacket, jeans. classic donghyuck. but the worst part was that… he was staring right back at you.

just as you were about to walk in his direction, you spotted jisung carefully marching to your table, coffee almost falling from the lack of concentration.

“oops. got lucky with that one.” the two of you laughed it off.

you fixed your gaze back at haechan and saw that he was saying something to his girlfriend— wait, seoyeon? um, he said something to his girlfriend before heading towards the exit. sparing you a knowing look as he left.

“hey— jisung? i think i need to uh… take in some fresh air… i’ll be back.”

you didn’t give him time to respond when you were already heading towards the door, heart thumping in your chest.

“hyuck?”

“y/n.”

you took a step closer to him quietly hoping that this wasn’t a dream, and is in fact real.

“how do you—”

“i’m assuming you had that… dream too?” his eyes locked with yours. you didn’t reply to him though, still waiting for someone to wake you up.

he shifted awkwardly as he moved his gaze away from you carefully, adam’s apple bobbing in his throat.

“that guy you were with… jisung isn’t it? are you guys like…” looking around, he hoped for an answer from you.

“yeah. we’re uh… he’s my boyfriend.”

“so that’s why i was so wary of him.” he snickered, trying to lighten the mood.

yeah… maybe that’s why you were always closer to jisung than you were with haechan… maybe that’s why you often give more attention to jisung rather than your own boyfriend— no, rather than donghyuck. maybe that’s why jisung was always protective over you. yeah. maybe.

“wait— is seoyeon actually pregnant?” you curiously asked. “yeah— we’re getting married in a few months.” he grinned happily, cheeks turning a beautiful shade of pink.

so… everything from your dream did happen, just in different circumstances? what kind of deja vu shit is this?

“that’s great! i hope you two… live a long life?”

he laughed contently at you, happy that he finally got to meet the girl he constantly dreams about.

not wanting to keep your partners waiting, the both of you decided to exchange numbers before heading back towards the café.

“hey uh, don’t forget to leave me tons of voicemails! i’ll listen to them on repeat.” he laughed.

“of course.”

oh— wasn’t expecting that were you? HAHA anyways lmk if you think i should post a like sequel to this or whether you’d like this to end with your own imagination :) have a great day everybody!!

#february 14th #haechan #haechan angst #haechan imagines #nct imagines #nct 127 imagines #nct dream imagines #nct dream #nct 127 #nct smut #haechan smut #donghyuck smut #nct hard hours #haechan hard hours

384 notes · View notes

jayjaydawn · 4 years ago

Text

nothing without you

Summary: Where Hoshi and you go through a rough patch in your relationship

Pairing: Hoshi/Soonyoung x Reader

Genre: Angst, Fluff

Warnings: Language

Words: 2596

A/N: I actually read a fic like this long back and i tried to create something around it. I unfortunately cannot find that fic anymore and I really loved it :(((

“A relationship is perfect because of its imperfections”

It felt like it had been forever since you had a decent conversation with Soonyoung. He replied vaguely to all your text messages and declined your calls. His only excuse being that he was busy preparing for tour and didn’t have the time. He hadn’t visited your apartment in at least a month. But that didn’t stop you from making an effort.

You had just arrived at the Pledis Building to meet him and his members. You brought some cupcakes you had baked with you knowing how much the rest of the members loved eating them. When you entered their studio, most of Seventeen was sitting by themselves, on the phone, probably on a break. The ones present there greeted you as they saw you come in. You handed them the box of cupcakes asking, “Where’s Soonyoung?”

“Uhmm, I think he went to talk to the manager, he should be back any moment, just make yourself comfortable.” Minghao informed you. You gave him a slight smile and made your way to sit on the couch, next to Jihoon.

“___ what’s up? You look distracted.” Jihoon asked as he saw you zoned out next to him.

“Oh it's nothing, just thinking.” you replied and saw him nod.

Just then, you heard the door open. You looked up to see Soonyoung enter with Jun behind him. He noticed you sitting on the couch but didn’t exactly acknowledge you before making his way to the opposite end of the room.

You got up from the couch and made your way towards him.

“I brought you some cupcakes” You told Soonyoung as you extended the box towards him.

“Hmm, just keep it there.” He said, too busy rummaging through his bag to even look up at you.

“What’s wrong with you? Why won’t you look at me?” You asked him.

“I just don’t know why you have to show up here so frequently. You’re disturbing me as well as the rest of the members.” He looked at you with an annoyed expression.

It felt like the breath was knocked out of you. It wasn't like you visited them that frequently. You just wanted to see Soonyoung because you hadn’t in so long. They were all supposed to fly out to Japan for promotions of their new Japanese Album. You didn’t realise you were such a burden. You were oblivious to the fact that the rest of the members could clearly hear your conversation but pretended not to.

“Oh.” You said, eyes glistening with unshed tears. You couldn’t understand why you were not able to fight back. Maybe it was because your sadness overpowered the anger you felt or maybe you just didn’t want to create a scene in front of the rest of the members. You turned away from Soonyoung and made your way over to the couch to grab your bag. You didn’t want to look at anyone, you felt too embarrassed. Even so, before you left the room, you looked up at the members, noticing how they were giving you pitiful looks.

“Best of Luck guys. I hope you have a safe flight tomorrow, I don’t think I’ll be able to make it to the airport to see you off.” You said with a slight smile, trying not to let your sadness show too much. You exited the room soon after.

After a few moments of silence, Jihoon walked up to Soonyoung. “What’s your problem Hoshi? Why did you have to treat her like that?” “It’s better if you don’t get yourself involved Jihoon, she’s my girlfriend and it's our business.” “You’re going to regret this, trust me.” It seemed Soonyoung wasn’t phased at all, he simply dismissed whatever Jihoon said and left.

•••

The next morning, you were sitting up on your bed, looking at your phone. Soonyoung always texted you when he had boarded his flight and once he landed. You were aware that his flight was scheduled at 7:30am. It was already 8 and you had not received a single text. In fact, Hoshi’s stylist, Seyeon had texted you at 5am letting you know that the boys were on the way to the airport. You were quite close to her and the other Pledis staff because of them being around your boyfriend all the time. You sighed as you laid back down. You hadn’t slept very well all night and it felt like you wouldn't be able to anytime soon.

Before you knew it, it was time for lunch but you had not gotten out of bed at all. Your phone rang and you hopefully looked to see who was calling you. It was Seyeon.

“Hello?” “It’s time to get out of bed now! I know you and I’m sure you haven’t even brushed yet.” “Hmm, I’m getting up now.” “Okay, so you’re going to meet me for lunch. I’m giving you the next hour to get ready and reach Pledis.” Before you could say anything else, she had hung up.

•••

“You need to stop sulking ___, He’s been behaving like this for quite some time and you need to stop giving in to him. Let him know he can’t take you for granted.”

“Yah, I will.” You replied half heartedly.

“Good girl. By the way, we are having a small party with only staff members and I’m in charge of decoration. Would you mind helping me?” Seyeon asked you sheepishly. “Of course I will, but you owe me huh!” You laughed as you both made your way towards the staff room.

•••

You were on the tall tool trying to hang the streamers. You couldn’t reach a certain spot so you tried to get on your tippy toes to reach it. Before you could process that the tool had started shaking, you felt it topple over and you fell with a huge bang.

You screamed and you heard Seyeon rush towards you. “Oh my god! Your arm!” She said as she shouted for the other staff members to come fast. She, along with another staff member, helped you up and rushed to the car to get you to the hospital.

•••

Your arm had suffered a ligament tear. They had put you in a cast and said you would need at least a week or two to recover.

“Seyeon can you do me a favour?” You asked her while sitting on your bed. She had refused to leave your side because she blamed herself for your injury.

“Anything ___. Just tell me.”

“Please don’t let Soonyoung know.” “But--” “Please.” You said and that was the end of the conversation.

•••

Soonyoung was sitting in the dressing room in Japan. It had already been 3 days since he had arrived there. He hadn’t received any call or text from you since that argument. He suddenly felt full of dread. He knew he shouldn’t have treated you that way and he didn’t understand why he was behaving like that. You both were in a relationship for almost 4 years. You were his everything. You both never did anything without telling each other. You have had multiple fights but you always made up.

He knew he was at fault and he had to contact you first. So he did. He called you, once. Twice. Thrice. You did not answer. He texted you, asking you casual questions. He did not apologise but he behaved as though nothing was wrong. He never got any reply.

•••

Another two days passed. He was sitting in the dressing room yet again. A hair stylist was setting his hair and another was wiping the sweat off his face.

She suddenly asked, “How’s ___? Is her arm fine? I heard it was a fracture?”

It felt like everything stopped for a moment. The rest of the members stopped too and turned towards Hoshi.

“What did you just say?” He asked calmly. It was like the calm before a storm.

“Yah. Did she not tell you? She fell off a ladder or something, Seyeon told me a couple days back. They’ve put a cast on her.”

Soonyoung got up and pushed both the stylists away from him. “I need to fly back tonight. I don’t care.”

“You know you can’t do that Soonyoung.” Seungcheol said as Seokmin and him tried to calm Hoshi down.

“What the fuck do you mean I can’t? She’s injured, probably in pain and I’m not there! She didn’t even tell me!” He screamed as he took out his phone to call Seyeon.

Seyeon picked up on the third ring. “Yes, Hoshi-” “Where’s ___? Why isn’t she picking up my calls? Why the fuck did you not tell me she was hurt?”

“What are you on about Hoshi?” “Don’t try to play dumb with me Seyeon! I know she's injured. I need to talk to her.” “Too bad, she doesn’t want to talk to you.” “THIS IS NOT FUNNY.” He shouted into the phone. “I know it isn’t. What’s really funny is you getting worked up about her ignoring you when you’ve been doing the same for weeks. And you know what else? Yes she is injured, but she didn’t want you to know because she didn’t want to disturb you and the rest of the members! Because you told her not to!” "Fuck!" Soonyoung said and he hung up.

He sat down on the chair there with his head in his hands. Seokmin tried to console him as the staff members gave him water to drink and calm down. They were supposed to be on stage in 20 minutes. He wouldn't be back in Seoul till the day after and he knew you wouldn't reply to him. Everything was a mess.

•••

It felt like a decade had passed before the flight landed. Soonyoung knew where he had to go as soon as he got out of the airport. Once they had passed all the security and the paparazzi, Soonyoung rushed to the van and instructed the driver to take him to your apartment. Seokmin, Jihoon, Seungcheol, Seungkwan, Jun and Minghao were in the van with him. The rest of the members were in the other Van trailing behind them.

Soonyoung almost didn’t wait for the van to come to a complete stop before he hurriedly got down and made his way into the apartment complex.

“We have to go with him in case he blows up. And I have a feeling ___ will need us to calm him down.” Jihoon said and all of them got down from the Van to follow behind Hoshi.

•••

You were in the bedroom, watching seventeen videos, funnily enough. You missed Hoshi but you wouldn’t let him know that. Suddenly, you heard the bell ringing continuously and made your way to open the door.

“Wait! I'm coming! You’re going to break down the door Sey-” You stopped once you opened the door and found a seething Soonyoung standing in front of you.

“What are you doing here?” You said and tried hiding your injured arm behind the door to no avail. Soonyoung pushed himself through the gap and stood right in front of you. You could see some of the members behind him, still outside but you couldn’t focus on anything other than Hoshi. You saw his angry eyes scanning you and stopping at your arm. You opened the door the rest of the way for the members to enter.

“Uhh Hi” You greeted everyone unsurely.

“All of you need to get out.” Soonyoung said angrily. “Hoshi-” “Get out” He repeated himself and grabbed your okay arm gently and pulled you towards your room. “We need to talk.”

Once you both had entered your room, you pulled your arm free from his hold and sat down on bed sighing.

“What do you want to talk about?”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

You laughed sarcastically, “You haven’t replied to my calls and texts for weeks Soonyoung! What did you expect me to do? Text you about my injury? For you to ignore me?”

“You know that’s not fucking true. You know I love you! I would have left whatever I was doing to come back to you! To make sure you were okay.”

“Are you sure? Wasn’t I just a nuisance to you and the rest of the members?”

“I’m sorry I said that! I did not mean that!”

“Well it hurt either way Soonyoung.”

“I’ll make it up to you I promise. I’m sorry for blowing up just now and I’m sorry for pushing you away.” Hoshi said apologetically.

“Please just leave me alone Soonyoung, we’ll talk about this later. Your friends are waiting outside and I’m sure you need to rest after your journey.” You told him and crawled into bed.

Hoshi did not know what to say. He didn’t want to leave but he had to give you time. He had to make it up to you. He did not want to lose the most important person in his life for his own selfishness. Soon enough he left with the members and you fell asleep.

•••

The next few days seemed so odd to you. Hoshi was coming in everyday, he’d get you food, he fed you. He refused to let you do anything, even if it was to go to the bathroom.

“You need to stop doing this Hoshi.”

“No. I’m sorry and this is my only way of earning your forgiveness.”

You sighed and went back to doing your work. You knew he felt guilty about his behaviour and your injury. But you didn’t want him to just be there because of that. You wanted him to be there because he wanted to.

You felt Hoshi tug your hand. You looked up to find him staring at you. He picked up your laptop from your lap and stood you up.

“What now?” You asked and felt him wrap his arms around you. He gently kissed your forehead and said, “___ I’m really so sorry. I know I was selfish, I was in the wrong and there probably is no other excuse I can give you. I fucked up I really did. Please forgive me.”

“Hoshi you need to get back to work.”

“No I don’t. Nothing is more important than you.”

“That’s not what you said that time.” you mumbled. He put his hands on your face and pulled it up to look at you repeating his previous words. “Nothing is more important than you ___”

“I’m planning to take some time off, we can sort it yeah?”

“But-” “No buts. It’ll be just you and me for as long as I can get time off. I’ll talk to management today.”

“Okay”

•••

Hoshi arrived at practice after a week. He had taken time off and it felt good to be back after the break.

“Hyung is back” He heard Chan say when he got to the room. He smiled at him as he put down his bag.

“Is everything okay?” He heard Jihoon ask from behind him.

“Yes, I think so. ____ will be coming here during our break and I’ll take her to get the cast off.” “That’s good to hear” Jihoon smiled.

After a few hours of practice, you arrived at their dance studio. Practice stopped and Soonyoung came to hug you. You smiled at him brightly. This time, the members noticed how genuine your smile was and they felt happy. Finally, you both had sorted everything out. Soonyoung leaned in and gave you a deep kiss.

“Let’s go get this cast off”

156 notes · View notes

maariarogers · 4 years ago

Text

How They Steal Seojun’s Scenes and Ruin A Tiny Essence of Seojun and Suho’s Character(s) in the K-Drama: A Study

Hi everybody!

First and foremost, I’m not online a lot, and whenever I do lately, I mostly try to spend it by fixating on a certain fandom — which, this time, happened to be the latest K-Drama “True Beauty”. I’ve written about two other study / analysis / meta which you could find here:

Thoughts On True Beauty and Why I’m On Team Suho

Why Webtoon!Suho is Superior and K-Drama!Suho Needs To Catch Up 👏

I’ve recently noticed during my scrolling that there has been a lot of tension between Team Seojun and Team Suho, which... broke my heart a little bit, because for the last eight episodes, I wasn’t really aware of it. I just thought everybody was having as much fun as I was just watching the K-Drama, but you know, we still have our favourites and we still have times when we disagree with the direction of the show, but by the end of the day, it was still something fun to watch, to distress with, and to share with like-minded fans.

Regardless, this is a warning that I don’t write with any intention to specifically target any characters or storyline, whether it be webtoon or the K-Drama. I do equally adore all of the cast, the production; the characters in the webtoon — and I will forever be thankful that I was fortunate enough to stumble upon the story as I did.

To add some context: I am a film student graduate, and I’ve always been interested in objectively dissecting characters, especially from a franchise, or things that came from a raw materials like True Beauty is. For your reference, I am currently at Chapter 128 of the webtoon series, although I am aware of spoilers beyond the chapters. As for the drama, I am at Episode 10 while I’m writing this. (Started at episode 9, continuing after episode 10.)

This is purely an in-depth analysis, if you’re into those sort of things, mainly discussing the major differences between webtoon representation of characters Lee Suho and Han Seojun in particular, and their mirrored selves in the K-Drama. Under the category, I will be touching on:

What the K-Drama changed the characters specifically

How They Stole Seojun Webtoon’s Scene and Character

Why Some of It Worked, Some of It Will Never

How They Highkey Ruined Seojun and Suho’s Dynamics

Why They Didn’t Need to Change the Characters At All, really

Another warning, just so any readers are aware, I am primarily a Suho x Jugeyong fan, but I’ve never really minded Seojun’s relationship with Jugyeong, either in Webtoon and K-Drama. Again, this mostly has a lot to do with how excellent the execution for Seojun was in the webtoon particularly — but I believe we’ll be getting into that.

Also, this is mostly to address the differences of webtoon vs. k-drama (and why some scene worked, why some scene didn’t work), and while I’ll be touching on the issues underlying the characters a bit, for a more thorough analysis or thoughts on the mental health represented by the characters, I would recommend reading:

By Tumblr User imjukyung (speaking about post-episode 10, specifically for Suho)

True Beauty: True Trauma and Unsettling Regression by tumblr user life-rewritten

Last Warning: This is about 5,000+ words. I... yeah. I have nothing to say except it’s written.

1. What Changed Specifically

I think the massive change an audience could probably observe — or if you can’t observe, you would find yourself being annoyed by it at certain point — would be in Suho. Yes, we’re starting with him.

I’ve been noticing a lot that people do heatedly comment that Suho’s “boring” — which, to an extent, I agree. (I mentioned this too in the first meta.) He is a massive play on the “cold and distant” trope, which, in my head, I’d like to call, a massive Edward Cullen case. That trope is often repetitive, most of the time it’s horribly executed, and it’s just, yeah, I’m not a big fan of them.

But again, I’ve mentioned this before, it works for Suho. I think this was what he was meant to be. As reference, in the webtoon even, Sua was never impressed with Suho, and she did repetitively say that the only “good thing that was going for him” was his good looks, and that he’s “boring” (in fact, I believe this is a fact since high school towards their adulthood). So yes, I think he was written like that on purpose.

On top of that, in the webtoon, compare to the K-Drama, Suho really does — nothing.

I’ll circle back to this specific characteristic because it relates to Seojun again, but I do wanted to point out that it is actually a prominent thing that’s to do with Suho. All he does in the webtoon, really, is study. Some of the things we learn later while we read would be that: he reads horror comic books as a sense of escapism, and he’s a good cook.

That’s it.

We would learn later, of course, that it is more than that. This personality is intentional and, most importantly, purposeful. What we’ve perceived as “boring” was used right against Suho — especially in the Prince of Princes arc, where the influencer called Suho out for “never trying his best” when the other contestants, Seojun and Aiden if we’re being specific, truly had something to lose while they were doing the show.

So, it wasn’t just, something the webtoon author decided Suho to be and held him no responsibility over, no — she crafted Suho like that from the beginning, she made us get used to it, and then, slowly, we see cracks of Suho’s “perfect” image and how that backfired. And Suho? He paid for it.

More than the simple cold and distant trope, his continuously monotone exterior actually did raise important questions in the long-run: For someone so smart with such a solid background, why does he seemed the most lost out of the Seojun-Jugeyong-Suho trio?

In my second meta, I wrote this:

It felt like the writers were desperate to fill the gaps for Suho possibly being “dull” [while playing] this typical cool and distant character — when, in reality, Suho’s existence as is was quite enough. He didn’t need to steal Seojun’s fighting ability, and he especially didn’t need to rob Seyeon’s musical passion too, to be interesting and have depths of his own [...]

Which I feel unfortunate about when it comes to K-Drama!Suho, and I still stand by it now. That doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy the K-Drama, because it could really hold up as its own separate storyline and timeline, but if we start to critically compare, we do see that, in reality, Suho could carry his “boring” character well and the K-Drama probably just didn’t know how to do this well, or thought the reception would be bad, so they added all of these unnecessarily profile traits to have him stand out.

To add, even when all he really does is study and read comic books, Jugyeong still likes him. To Jugyeong, Suho doesn’t really need to be more than what he is - their shared interest and their strong loyalty in ensuring they’re each other’s safe haven when it comes to emotional struggles were already enough for her; and for Suho, Jugyeong’s company as is had been sufficient to make him happy, or have a better outlook in life.

2. How They Stole Seojun Webtoon’s Scene and Character

This is quite a sensitive topic for Seojun’s fans, so I will try addressing this very, very carefully. If you have anymore to add and discuss, feel free — I’d love to know what else I’ve missed or might have overlooked.

In this specific section, I think I’d like to focus on three (3) major Seojun scene that was stolen. The band-aid, the wallet, and the spicy food. Of course, I’ll be touching on things they’ve stolen beyond those scenes because they did incorporate a lot of what Seojun should be experiencing to Suho, or other characters, and why this wasn’t okay — or it couldn’t be held up. But let’s start with the scene first and we’ll slowly walk to what other aspects of Seojun the writers think we wouldn’t notice being stolen.

The Band Aid Scene

In the webtoon (spoilers to those who haven’t read) in Chapter 34, Suho got into an accident in an attempt to save Jugyeong. This led her to be injured on the knees, which, after Seojun was called in, he helped treated.

In the K-Drama, Suho was the one who treated Jugyeong’s knees – but this happened very early in the series and it was specifically triggered because Jugyeong tripped on her way to run Suho’s errands.

Personally, for me, I didn’t really mind this scene was “stolen”. Now, okay, before anybody comes at me, allow me to explain why: I didn’t think it mattered? Which probably didn’t help my case in fending a lot of you off lol but — I just didn’t think it mattered because in either scenes, it was still an in-character thing for them to do. Each boy would still assist Jugyeong and treated her knees even if they’ve switched places.

What I really meant was though, the scene didn’t really take any of Seojun’s important and/or core personality away from him — which you’ll find what I mean more as we delve on soon — it was just an act which anybody would’ve done for Jugyeong in that moment.

Especially in the webtoon, the bigger focus was more towards Suho who just got into an accident. There wasn’t really any fundamental value or any obvious motivation towards the scene unless you counted Seojun finding out that Heegyeong was Jugyeong’s sister - which, even then, it was brushed over quickly because, of course, we focus heavily on Suho’s state towards the end, and we’re stirring into what really happened between the three S (Seojun-Suho-Seyeon).

In the K-Drama, it was set up in such a way with a clear motivation: Suho apologising for pushing Jugyeong to such a limit and therefore elevating their statuses in comradeship, and for Seojun to notice and took an important interest in Jugyeong after seeing Suho and her together, triggering his consecutive contacts with her afterwards.

Each of them could really hold up as their own separate acts, and both boys are still heavily in-character.

The Wallet

In Chapter 32, Jugyeong (bare-faced) met with her bullies and they had a quick confrontation in WcDonalds. We realise the bullies didn’t really think they were responsible for how they acted, and didn’t apologise. This left Jugyeong devastated, so she left the restaurant premises and went home without realising she dropped her wallet. At the restaurant, Seojun’s friends picked it up — but Seojun was the one who identified the wallet’s owner, and came back just as Jugyeong, now fully in make-up, came to get it. Despite probably having eaten, Seojun invited Jugyeong to eat, noticing she’s in a bad mood.

In the K-Drama, Episode 6 if I’m not mistaken, Jugyeong stumbled upon her former bullies bare-faced. She managed to run out of the restaurant premises before shortly realising that she dropped her wallet. When she turned, she saw Suho was with her bullies, grasping the wallet from them. She ran away, he chased after, and they had their mini confrontation and Suho shielded Jugyeong from being recognised by their schoolmates.

Again, like the first, I didn’t really hold up any grudge over the scenes? Mostly because the difference in context between them?

Allow me to explain: in the webtoon, it was clearly placed that way to show the slow elevation of friendship between Jugyeong and Seojun; that scene also progressed to Jugyeong meeting Seojun’s group of friends later, which triggers to more scenes of them in the future i.e. Jugyeong trying out clothes at the request of Seojun’s friend’s girlfriend and Seojun obviously falling hard during the whole process.

(I also think like these are the first few instances where we’re established a place Seojun and Jugyeong bonded over most besides school, i.e. the shopping street background, because them shopping together in that group, or just the two of them, are relatively mentioned or brought up again and again.)

But that can’t realistically work for K-Drama.

In the webtoon, we’re allowed for a slow-paced friendship between Jugyeong and Seojun to form, which was important, because it was meant to bring us to the tipping point wherein Seojun transformed from being that best male friend (and why he stayed being the male best friend), to her boyfriend. The why, of course, is important — but we’ll get to that soon.

In the K-Drama, we’re not allowed the amount of pace. And, more than that, all of Seojun’s friends in the webtoon, who are high school dropouts or older (and therefore were not attending school) I believe, are replaced by the massive group Seojun has in their shared high school. So, the opportunity as is wasn’t really there, and it was later restricted by the time frame of a sixteen-episodes.

I’ll be touching on the fact that they do make up for this with various scenes, various new opportunities, but you can still see how Seojun falls a little short still to compare with his webtoon counterpart.

Speaking of the context further, technically I don’t think Suho “stole” the scene. The act, yes, I’ll admit to that, but not the scene, nor the core of what bonded Jugyeong and Seojun together — Suho didn’t have an external group of friends which he brought Jugyeong to meet, and he certainly didn’t share the street-shopping backgrounds and have a comforting meeting place with Jugyeong there.

I would’ve been more upset if Seojun confronted the bullies himself and returned the wallet to Jugyeong in the webtoon, only for Suho to obviously rob this scene from him in the K-Drama, when it was obviously Seojun’s highlighted moment. But as is, it happened differently.

Suho’s acts could held up as his own, especially since, different than the webtoon, he already saw bare-faced Jugyeong and knew the owner of the wallet [as he’s watched the scene unfold], while Seojun happened to find the wallet and Jugyeong thankfully had her ID, the one with make-up on her face, which led to Seojun keeping it and giving it back to her when they bump into each other later.

They weren’t really any confrontations about insecurities, past mistakes or the truth to be had; for Seojun and Jugyeong, that scene was only a “beginning” (the first of many events to come, the trigger point on how the rest starts), while for Suho, it was a “conclusion” (scenes triggered by other events first, ending with a specific decision).

The Spicy Food

Now, this is where I get a bit iffy? I wasn’t happy with it, simply put. I understand they amended it in episode 9, but — it still happened. And hoo-boy, they weren’t sneaky about it at all.

In the webtoon, Episode 33, Seojun invited Jugyeong to eat tteokbokki with him. Jugyeong wasn’t really feeling up to eat, but she accepted because she likes spicy food. Later, while having the meal together, Seojun is obviously having a hard time eating the spicy food, which Jugyeong internally questioned about.

In the K-Drama, Heegyeong and Mr. Han went on a date, and then we later find out that Mr. Han couldn’t withstand spicy food. He didn’t want to return the meal though, thinking that he would’ve burdened the staff.

Again, one can obviously just argue that, it happened in different context too, just like it did in the Wallet Scene. Or, better yet, that it’s fine, since they did include this in episode 9 in the end. But — the reason I had a problem with this choice of writing was because, unlike the other two examples, not beiong able to handle spicy food is a major, if not a constant, Seojun’s characteristics and behaviour.

That’s a Seojun thing, rather than a simple action, and taking that from him, or basing it off of him, feels a little... lazy.

Mr Han in the webtoon, while he didn’t play a major part and Heegyeong eventually lost interest in him, was a messy eater. They could’ve gone with that route easily. That he’s a messy eater, and Heegyeong finds herself liking it anyway — that is, if, like how I’ve been viewing the direction of the show, they really do want them to be together.

That’s already been apart of Mr. Han’s already-established behaviour, why take it from Seojun?

Which led us to the few bits of how Seojun is stolen beyond simple scenes.

Seojun’s Character

Now, “stolen” is such a big word. It’s right, to an extent, but it’s still such a big word. More than that, I’d say it’s “chipped”? As in, the true essence of what made Seojun so remarkable and strong as a second male lead in the webtoon is taken apart to have it lend to other characters or, equally worse, downplayed in the drama.

I’ve always had such a problem and it’s a MAJOR problem when Seojun, in the K-Drama, told Suho, “You don’t deserve to be happy.”

Straight-up, honest to god? That isn’t Seojun at all.

Yes, he’s upset. And yes, he’s irritated by what he perceived as Suho not coming to his expectation when it came to their shared loss regarding Seyeon and/or what he thought Suho failed to do. These are all true. Seojun is angry, and he’s consistently angry at Suho until they reach their resolution together — but he would never wish that on Suho.

What drove his anger was disappointment, was a sense of hopelessness, was the loss, but it never came from hatred. Seojun felt a lot towards Suho, but hate to the point of wishing someone’s unhappiness was never one of them.

Just having that spoken by Seojun contradicted a lot to how he behaves in the webtoon — which was honestly this upstanding, responsible and caring guy. And he is!

And while I adore Suho and he has a special place in my heart, I do see a stark difference to how Seojun operates if we compare to Suho: Seojun’s always been straightforward with his actions, countlessly working hard once he sets his mind to something (either that by choice, or otherwise i.e. helping his mom pay the bills, and then pursuing a career in being an idol) — he’s a go-getter.

Suho isn’t, not so directly at least. He’s quiet, and he keeps things to himself, and he doesn’t like a show. Which was why a lot of him “helping out” Jugyeong — mostly driving off weird men or confronting them — happened behind the scenes and without anybody’s knowledge. He doesn’t even really wanna acknowledge it after.

Seojun’s direction in life is clear, too. He wants to work right after school, and he does. He wants to treat Jugyeong properly as her romantic partner, and he does. He wants to be an idol and succeed, and he works hard on it.

Suho, on the other hand, not so much. A lot of the major things that did happen to Suho, it happened externally. Something else was pushing him to do an action. Him flying out to Japan due to his father, him returning to Korea etc. Again, this is a lot to do with his mental health as well, which is a separate post altogether, but I just wanted to point this out as comparison.

Rambling over — yes, if you’re not an avid webtoon reader, just know that, that specific line from Seojun? He would never. That was already so out-of-character of him because, as I’ve said and I will say it again, whatever anger Seojun harboured for Suho, it never came from such ugly or raw hatred. He didn’t understand Suho’s motivation after and/or during Seyeon’s death, and I do believe he could lash out from that - but he never held any extreme grudges.

To add, in the webtoon, that line was actually spoken by Suho when he admitted to his therapist that he think he doesn’t deserves to be happy.

This is also a big thing in my opinion, because it shows how differently Seojun and Suho coped — either with Seyeon, or whatever that comes after. Seojun has always been more prone to anger while Suho, either that added by his fluctuating mental health or otherwise, is prone to sadness.

Now, these are two extremely big negative emotions to be associated with our ever-favourite boys, but it’s true. It’s consistent throughout their characters all-through the story (in the webtoon, at least). And it does play a role, because, again, it showcases the difference of characters between Seojun and Suho, and how they react to situations differently. Seojun with his quick-temper, and Suho, easily feeling hopeless.

So, why is it important to know this?

Because a lot of Seojun’s anger, a lot of that deep-rooted aggression — that was transferred to Suho in the K-Drama. And no cap? It shouldn’t have.

3. Why It Worked, Why It Will Never

Let’s go back to the broader subject briefly.

At this point of the K-Drama, which is ten episodes in, I felt a little moot comparing scenes specifically to what had happened in the webtoon. It’s always nice, of course, to critically analyse any form of entertainment so we could always better our watching experiences or give the proper feedbacks to the creative industry, and while I like delving in deep too, I also have to remind myself a lot to not .... take it too seriously, essentially.

Because at this point, obviously the K-Drama has adapted many of the plot points from the webtoon, and re-arranged it to fit into what they deemed to be necessary to work in that timeline. And that’s okay!

For example, while Seojun’s scene was borrowed to other characters, we do get the opportunity to see Seojun being presented slightly differently. We have that new arc regarding his mother, and we see a whole loveable cast of group Seojun has acquired during his time schooling, and Seojun gets a ton more interactive chances with Jugyeong to make up for what they couldn’t do — that is, the slow progress of them becoming truly close friends till they’re in their young adult years — and every scene of them could still hold up as a magnifying and incredible moment as its own.

For example, that scene when Seojun took care of a sick Jugyeong in the bus, and he said (although I’m recalling only from memory), “I don’t like it when people get sick.” Which I think was super sweet and super impactful at the same time. This didn’t happen in the webtoon, but in the K-Drama, among the first scenes they’ve introduced Seojun in was when he was in the hospital visiting his mother; we also learn later that he actually time off from school to do help his parent.

So obviously Seojun’s cautious on anything that’s to do with somebody contracting an illness etc — and not only it showed in that one dialogue, it’s made more brilliant when Seojun, who can’t really afford any expensive jewellery, made Jugyeong a flower-braid bracelet. I think that was such a nice contrast, a nice touch and ugh!!!!!

That really punched me straight into my Seojun x Jugyeong heart.

We also see a different way of them interpreting and putting Sujin brilliantly into the story. I really want to go deeper into this, but I don’t believe I have sufficient enough thoughts beyond the fact that I much prefer the way the K-Drama built up Sujin to compare with how the webtoon placed Sujin. She has more motivation, she has more leverage, and last but not least, she has much more flexibility to become a serious second female lead and rival.

I do have a problem with how they decided to go with Suho, because again, I think all of the extra personality traits are not necessary. Suho doesn’t need to be a good fighter like Seojun had been established to be, and he doesn’t need to be musically passionate, like Seyeon was, because his own personality and character should’ve been enough. He could carry that personality well; he doesn’t need to be “more”.

Which brought us to this: Seojun’s aggressiveness taken by Suho.

To make this short - it just doesn’t work. It didn’t... really feel out of character, per se, but I'm not the biggest fan of it. I felt like, personally, the writers sort of missed the point of what truly made Suho Suho — which was this guy who was more prone to melancholy-based emotion than anything else — and, in return, (again, I’ll be using the word) they “chipped” away at Seojun because of it.

So, what should’ve been Seojun’s distinctive reaction carried specifically by his character, it was shared by Suho.

Suho isn’t unpredictable, he isn’t quick-tempered, and he isn’t fast on his feet. These are all Seojun’s major personality traits. He’s opinionated, yes, and he isn’t afraid to set his boundaries — but mostly, only his own. One of the more primary example I could give from the K-Drama that I think sorta worked at first glance, but didn’t really when you think twice about it, in regards to this, was Suho chasing after Seojun and Jugyeong after a gang of people were running towards them. (This is after the karaoke scene.)

Honestly, rather than just wasting his energy, it’d be more appropriate if Suho calls the cop.

Suho’s incredibly logical, and furiously straightforward. He doesn’t precisely need to be running around for — what? What was he achieving anyways in the K-Drama by running after the gang? See how it sorta doesn’t make sense? So, yes, if it doesn’t make sense - Suho wouldn’t.

Again, this circles back to how the different way the boys coped or react, as I mentioned earlier, and it’s important to be distinctive with these because both boys are two separate individuals with two different ways of seeing the world and taking them in, and, cheesy as I may, representation matters.

And when it isn’t represented properly, and I’ll be repeating this over and over: Seojun’s character seems like it’s “chipped away”. Not stolen, no, because it’s still there but — what should’ve been an emotion his specific character should harbour, it feels ... lacklustre, almost. Like a joke: what makes Seojun’s anger so “special” compared to the obvious internalised rage Suho seems to have [in the K-Drama]?

4. How Is Seojun and Suho Dynamic Ruined?

Simply put: observe the way the writers put Seojun and Suho when it comes to Jugyeong.

In the K-Drama, it’s constant rivalry between the boys — driven, of course, by Suho’s possibly deteriorating mental health and the insecurity that came with. But it was also easily flamed by Seojun making jabs and/or crossing the boundaries by being there when he shouldn’t have been.

Now, I’m not into the whole Team Seojun vs. Team Suho thing because the real tea is, that just isn’t Seojun and Suho.

And when the K-Drama writers failed to incorporate how exactly Seojun and Suho had been when both boys clearly shared an affection towards the same person, Jugyeong, I feel like — out of everything, that’s when they lost the biggest essence of what made these two men who they are.

Because Seojun and Suho? They were mad respectful towards each other.

I think one of the most memorable and important scene, and I carry this in my heart, was when Jugyeong was supposed to go out on that date with Suho, and they promised each other — but then Suho’s father got into an accident, and Jugyeong wasn’t reachable because she broke her phone.

You know who showed up to that date to inform Jugyeong? It was Seojun.

And it was Seojun again who came to pick Jugyeong up and got into the taxi to the airport to see Suho off. Seojun was the one who gave Jugyeong and Suho some time to say goodbye between themselves, tapping Jugyeong on the back when he walks away. That’s how far Seojun really cared for the girl he loves: he was willing to let her love the person she likes.

He was supportive, without being discriminating.

And it was the same again when it’s reversed. During the whole time Seojun and Jugyeong were dating, Suho never once showcased that he was dissatisfied or he wasn’t happy with the development. In fact, again and again, he was supportive. He put in good words for Seojun, he encouraged Jugyeong to always work it out between her and Seojun.

Of course, there are hiccups here and there — but that was the true essence, I believe, of the Seojun-and-Suho dynamic.

Even despite the misunderstanding, even through the romantic interest coming in between them, there will always have this big respect to not go behind one another and put the other down, I think. They would confront, and have their clashing moments face-to-face (but never too aggressively because Suho’s weak and often pulls back lol), but very rarely does it go further than that.

Even when they’re driven with anger, jealousy, or disappointment — you could tell that the bond they’ve shared from their middle school and with Seyeon were always somehow stronger.

And yes, you could argue that maybe, in this point of the K-Drama, they aren’t reconciled yet, which is why they acted the way they did. But I feel like? That didn’t matter? Because, in episode 10, we could clearly see Seojun having the capability of being supportive and putting his good faith in Suho, despite not being on good terms with the guy (e.g. when he advised, “Suho would never do that to you.”) even though that’s quickly tarnished when Seojun, in the same breath, quickly suggest for a break-up.

I don’t really have any defence for Suho because I already felt like him expressing constant aggression towards Seojun is already wrong, misplaced, or poorly written — so whatever action that came after always came a bit off for me. For example, rather than putting the blame for his own jealousy towards Seojun or Jugyeong (i.e. episode eight in its entirety), Suho is the kind of person to blame himself. He would feel that he lacked something, that it was him that wasn’t enough, that it must be him that’s done something to push Jugyeong, or anybody, away.

(Again, echoing his admittance: “I don’t think I deserve to be happy.” or, if we’re going with the K-Drama route, from Seojun’s accusation.)

5. Why They Didn’t Need To Change At All

The worst part of knowing or realising these small details is that, the story could still work. It could still move the characters forward, and have the relatively same outcome i.e. Suho lashing out by the end, threatened by his own insecurity that Jugyeong might prefer Seojun after all etc — but instead, we have these amazing characters that came off at 90% in the drama adaptation, but the 10% that really mattered to their characters weren’t mixed in well enough.

So, the question comes: how exactly should they be acting?

First, Suho’s often more calm — the calmest, in fact, between the Suho-Jugyeong-Seojun trio. This still doesn’t mean he doesn’t have any pent-up guilt, or sadness, or even aggression, but it rarely ever comes out violently. Even if it does, in any shape or form, mostly the emotions are fired back towards himself i.e. experiencing massive self-loathing, self-doubt, which, of course, may in return affect his interpersonal relationships.

Episode 10 played this out nicely, in fact: because we do have a scene where Suho’s being incredibly understanding and respectful in the beginning, but then little things and mistimed events built up (without proper explanations from the other party, to add) and he essentially imploded on himself i.e. lashing out, spiralling, having a mental breakdown, and by the end of it, (trigger warning ahead) committing suicide and/or self-harming himself by walking freely and stopping in the middle of traffic.

Secondly, Seojun could’ve still held so much anger at Suho for what happened with Seyeon and had fallen for Jugyeong all the while, but he could still stay in-character by never explicitly trying to constantly put Suho down. It just goes against a character so substantial for putting his all towards the people he loves, or have loved. And Seojun have loved Suho as a best friend - so for him to act the way he did, to say that line ( “You don’t deserve to be happy” ) especially, that makes me sad.

6. Conclusion

True Beauty, on the surface, will always be a light-hearted romance comedy that honestly has very interesting and well thought-of characters that... don’t necessarily stand out, I don’t think, among other high school K-Drama, but it does represent young adults or teens who seemed to “look like they’re doing well” but a lot of us really aren’t. We’re just figuring things out as we go along, and that’s what Suho, Seojun and Jugyeong seemed to be doing with us: they’re figuring things out as they go along, too.

In the end, there really isn’t much of a point expressing these thoughts except that it gives me simple pleasures, and if it can attract a few people who loves True Beauty too, I would simply die of appreciation. I hope a lot of the K-Drama audience can have a slight knowledge that, yes, Seojun is absolutely super kind, way kinder than he’s been portrayed on screen, and yes, Suho isn’t normally that possessive - protective, yes - he never stalks or particularly demands anything out of Jugyeong though.

Okay, before this got too long again, I thank you for reading!

Feel Free To Ask Me Anything

#True Beauty #Lee Suho #Han Seojun #i did this over three days like.....#why #why must i? but i must #i think its mostly triggered by seojun's ''you dont deserve to be happy'' line #like..... he did that man dirty #and i am here to TELL IT LIKE IT IS!#i feel like... its one thing to make a typical two men in rivalry over the same lady trope #but its another when.... its canon that these two men #are actually very astounding and very good people #i dont know #its just been in my head #since episode 8 i think #and i need this OUT #True Beauty Meta

25 notes · View notes