#several reasons

[transingthoseformers]

... Megatron and his harem of pretty Seekers. All with spikes modded to his preferences.

........ Megatron getting railed during a strategy meeting while acting like nothing is happening while his officers give the Seeker jealous looks.

Sfhhhhh

Oh how interesting the last idea must be!

[the-haunted-office]

 💭 for doomsday with fox !

For every 💭 I receive, I will write one thought my Muse has had about yours.

"She's had her hands in my guts. She's had her hands... in my guts. HANDS. GUTS. IN THEM. Like literally, all up in there, fishing out rocks. ..............I've got a lot to reflect on here."

[cocteautwinslyrics]

i need to be put down for my beautiful mind

[noperopesaredope]

I wish we had more female characters like Eleanor Shellstrop. One of the most unlikable people you've ever met. Read a Buzzfeed article on most rude things you can do on a daily basis and decided to use that as a list of goals. Makes everyone's day worse just by being there. Dropped a margarita mix on the ground and tried to pick it up, only to get hit by a row of shopping carts which pushed her into the road where she was hit by a boner pill delivery truck, killing her instantly. Cannot keep a romantic partner despite being bisexual. Had a terrible childhood but will die before she gets therapy. Best employee at a scam company. Just the worst but also can't help but root for her to improve.

Absolute loser. Girl-failure. Bad at almost everything. Literally perfect female character.

[canisalbus]

✦ Fashionably late ✦

[its-your-mind]

[toothpuulp]

i can’t think too hard about the fact that walter klemmer is seventeen in the book or i’ll black out for reals

[aitadjcrazytimes]

[illuminchim]

“He no longer believed in anyone, especially himself.”

Tian Guan Ci Fu Vol. 6.

This is the second part of this drawing

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

I hope you take this as the compliment it is intended to be, but you strike the same chord of irreverence-as-love, jokes-to-showcase-sencerity that I get from Chuck Tingle, and I adore both of you.

You have bestowed the greatest honour upon me.

[dareduffie]

when will people learn that live-action remakes will never be good as their original animated counterparts because the glory of animation is the colour, movement, and fantasy that's just untranslateable to live-action

[lurkinglurkerwholurks]

I am desperately trying to sleep and all I can think about is how much I want to read a fic where Red Hood clashes with Matches Malone and all Matches’ buddies are horrified but also ready to go to bat for their pal

[stil-lindigo]

motherhood.

[theshadowrealmitself]

Fucking knew I was going to forget to explain some stuff:

MJ is the one who, ironically cause usually she’s upset with Peter dedicating so much of himself to being Spidey, in this au is really supportive of them creating a vigilante group and is the one who keeps pushing for them to let more and more people join, especially if more people joining means that the 3 of them don’t have to wear themselves thin

The first person she pushed for them to let join was Gwen Stacy, Peter was the one who wanted to tell Harry (this is one of the reasons for Peter being so nervous about indulging himself, he wants his favorite spider, he becomes radioactive, he wants to share a secret with his friend, it causes several fights among his loved ones that leads to his uncle dying)

Because of that nervousness with following his wants and because MJ is his bestest friend, even though he has a huge crush on Gwen Stacy at this point, when he sees how much MJ likes her, he tries to awkwardly get the two of them together

Because Peter accidentally dragged Miles into this, he is a huge mother hen over the kid, both because he feels so guilty about it but also because he knows how it’s like to be a kid hero, so he’s just constantly checking up on the kid even tho Miles’ uncle is also at the base checking up on him

Also it’s important to me that he’s 18 when he becomes widely known, like yeah he was a cryptid for like 8 years, and people were kinda sure he existed based off of reports from people he saved and some rare pictures on the bugle from the Peter Parker kid, but no one saw him in the daytime till he turned 18, it just opens up possible pairings based on my mood whenever I think about this au, that way even if there’s an age gap in one of the pairings, the crush didn’t start till he was 18 and everyone actually thought he was older

Oh and despite the fact that there’s a “team” it’s more like they help each other hide their identities (MJ fucking loves acting her ass off to be an alibi for someone), sometimes they’ll team up but most of the time Spidey does his whole “lone hero” routine because that’s just how he likes fighting

Edit: when I originally thought of this au, instead of having MJ know everything after he gets bit, instead it was that Harry and MJ both only knew a small part each, and Peter was behind a lot of cryptid stuff that all gets found out at some point but just makes it more confusing to find out his identity

Like he can speak to spiders in this au, doesn’t actually come up a lot when he’s out and about as Spiderman, but he uses that to sneak away all of Norman’s radioactive spiders and keeps them hidden away in an underground area, some people found about it and rumors of a “Spider Queen” hiding out underground with an army of mutated spiders gets circled around with more and more misinformation getting added to it, like “the Spider Queen is 3,000 years old” “the Spider Queen didn’t originate from New York City” etc

Okay my favorite batshit au for Spiderman that’s incredibly self indulgent to me is:

Peter starts out as a Spider mutant, of course no one really knows this because he’s a very quiet and cautious kid and the stuff he has isn’t that noticeable to other people

On top of that, due to the age gap between his dad and his uncle, Ben and May already old when they take in young Peter (closer to comic canon), which comes with the side effects of being raised by older legal guardians

Side effects like because of their age they’re so tired when they come home from work that they can’t really give Peter the attention and energy that he needs and they want to give him, and because they’re always so tired and old and stuff, Peter, who’s already an obedient kid, doesn’t want to make their lives harder and their health worse, hides away anything that can upset them

(This is very important because it explains how Peter gets away with so much as a kid, there’s gonna be a lot of well meaning neglect in this au, and is also the very beginning of that deep anger taking seed inside of him, he feels can’t show emotion about his parents abandoning him, can’t make a fuss about Flash bullying him because the school won’t help and it’ll only stress out his aunt and uncle, he just feels like he can’t show anything and has no outlet for it all)

So Peter, even before going to live with his aunt and uncle didn’t get much attention because his parents were focused on their research and trying not to get killed, and then after moving in with them, feels like he has to make his presence as little as possible

He becomes a very, very independent little kid, even though May and Ben keep trying to let him know he can just be a kid, it’s okay, but at some point one of them has a health scare, there’s the hospital bill from it and the possible chance of future medical bills, so both adults start working more and more hours to afford all that

Which leaves poor Peter alone most of the time, he doesn’t want to make a fuss so he just accepts, and because the adults are too busy to really sit down and coordinate their time together, they don’t even realize how much they’ve left him on his own, thinking that the other adult was helping him

Peter gets himself up for school, washes the laundry, cleans what he cans, and cooks himself breakfast and maybe makes some for Ben or May if they haven’t left yet, packs his own lunch, then he’s responsible for getting himself on the bus to school (where he gets bullied all day), and then getting back to school, then because of the hours they’re working, he usually comes back to an empty house and makes everyone dinner, eats his, then puts himself to bed early after doing homework alone

At this point, Peter is now 10 years old, he’s formed a new friendship with his next door neighbor, MJ, who’s being purposely neglected by her shitty angry drunk dad, and another boy at school, Harry, who’s being emotionally neglected by his dad

The three of them start hanging out at Oscorp and getting to see the new stuff that the company is developing before it’s put out, one of those things is radioactive spiders, and one of the spiders with specific markings becomes Peter’s favorite

After some time, Norman makes a deal with the army to sell one of the spiders to them because of their own research with radioactive bio specimens, unfortunately, the spider he sells is Peter’s favorite one

For the first time in his life, Peter decides to try and be vocal about something he wants, but he’s too scared to interrupt Norman’s conversation, too used to being quiet, so he follows Norman along, waiting for a break in the conversation to ask him to sell a different spider, just following aaaallll the way to the army base, just being so quiet that no one notices him

Norman makes the handoff and Peter ends up following the spider, eventually getting his hands on it and accidentally releasing it from its container where it then bites Peter

Now remember, Peter was already a mutant, these spider mutant powers already included super strength, climbing on walls, and being able to produce webs, and also because being Spidery was a core part of his being, he has also has a ton of spider behaviors and instincts that he has to constantly fight to appear normal in public so no one calls his relatives and stress them out

After the bite, all of the hair on his body, not just the hair on his head, but the body hair, eyelashes, eyebrows, just everywhere, becomes bright red and blue patterned, his eyesight becomes supernaturally incredible, but when he uses his eyes like that, they become entirely black, I’m talking pupil, iris, and the whites become a dark inky black, and when he’s not using it, his eyes look normal, but his eyesight is back to being crap, he also now has fangs that produce a high intensity venom, and his super strength becomes so much stronger than it was before

These effects start slowly taking over as Peter starts wandering around with his spider, that he’s already forgiven for biting him because of course the poor thing is scared, trying to find an exit, but instead he stumbles upon the other radioactive specimen in the army’s care: the Hulk

Peter, being the sweet kid he is, lets the Hulk out and the Hulk remembers that and becomes a lifetime friend of “bug-man’s” from that, and the two escape the army base with the cameras capturing footage of a blue and red spidery creature helping the Hulk, starting Norman Osborn’s lifetime hatred for Spiderman (no one notices Peter’s excursion which takes a couple of days getting back home because quiet kid, kinda being neglected, teachers didn’t even mark him absent because they didn’t notice he hadn’t actually showed up, etc)

Peter is now visibly a mutant and so his friend and neighbor MJ notices immediately when he comes back and helps him out immediately even though she likes his new look, but it gives her a chance to try out makeup looks and hair dyes on someone else, and that’s what starts them becoming best friends, MJ starts hanging out more at his house to get away from her home life, Peter isn’t so alone anymore, it works out great for the two kids and starts Peter’s huge crush on her since this is the first time he’s actually been close and open with another person

(Also cause of the neglect, man it feels awful saying May and Ben neglected him in this au but there’s no other way to put it, Peter doesn’t ever return to the doctors and get checkups, and no one investigates because fuck it they lost Peter’s file or something)

Peter and Harry don’t have that moment where they suddenly intensely bond over something, but over the next four years, the three of them slowly become inseparable, to the point that many times MJ and Peter forget that they haven’t shared their big secret with Harry

(Although Peter hasn’t become a vigilante yet, him and MJ still go off and have adventures during this time, like helping the Hulk or meeting up with the x-men, this ends up being another thing that helps him hide his identity as cameras keep picking up grainy images of him without the stuff he uses to hide his looks at school and of course no one’s gonna assume a kid is out doing these things, so Spiderman, when he makes his debut, has to be much older than the Parker kid is what everyone thinks)

So instead of the spider bite being what causes his fight with Uncle Ben leading to him running out and consequently his uncle dying, it’s Harry finding out that MJ and Peter had this secret they hadn’t been sharing with him, and Peter’s resentment at not being able to go to his relatives for advice because how would he even explain any of that to them?? He doesn’t even know how they feel about mutants much less a mutant who’s now been made radioactive!! That causes his anger issues acting up and then the origin story with Uncle Ben except now his death includes him apologizing to Peter for not being there more often and knowing that he’s a mutant (but not the other stuff) and letting him know that he’s okay with it and he’s sorry he made Peter feel like he couldn’t share that with him

This is depressing for everyone, because even though him and Aunt May dropped the ball a lot (in this specific au), he was still a great relative when he was able to be there for him, he was also a great adult figure to MJ and Harry

So after that, all 3 of them decide to get into the vigilante business, with Peter being the face of it since he’s the only one that could actually handle fights and stuff (but with Harry’s money and Peter’s smarts they do end up making equipment for Harry and MJ), just these 3 little traumatized, neglected 14 year olds forming a vigilante group together

They find an Oscorp warehouse that Norman forgot about, put it in Harry’s name, and completely reinvented it to be their base, and over time it becomes less lonely, at first it’s just the Hulk hiding out there occasionally, maybe some x-men they befriended, but once they turn 18 and Spiderman becomes less of a cryptid and starts actively putting himself out there (because Harry and MJ couldn’t stand the idea of losing him so they made him promise to stay out of the limelight) their group starts really taking off

(Getting people like Gwen Stacy, Daredevil, Nova, Iron Fist, White Tiger, Power Man, Wolverine, Venom, Squirrel Girl, etc)

While staying completely hidden from SHIELD the entire time, Nick Fury doesn’t find out for ages that all these other heroes were secretly connected to Spiderman and had a base together this whole time

And eventually of course Miles joins, with his origin story being that he found Spiderman on the brink of death, saved him, accidentally got pierced by one of his venomous fangs, which acted the same way a bite from a radioactive spider would affect him, which is not something any of them had known, apparently a full on bite would kill a person, but a tiny amount of venom makes them radioactive, so that’s something to worry about now

Miles’ uncle eventually joins their little superhero gang sometime after that because it’s my self indulgent au and I want that kid to be happy with his family

Also after Uncle Ben’s death, Aunt May makes a concentrated effort to actually full on be there for Peter and all his friends, it doesn’t magically make his childhood better, but it’s healing

And a good portion about this is: Peter’s identity being so hard to find because how he shows himself in his civilian life isn’t what he actually looks like, so when his mask gets ripped off there’s not actually much to worry about, doesn’t mean he’s not still doing The Most™️ to hide his identity to protect not only Aunt May now but also his group

And also I wanted him to be as strong as possible, like could fight Superman strong, as well as have all these abilities that would make you think he’d be a part of the avengers fighting aliens and stuff and he’s just like “I really gotta dedicate all my attention to stopping muggers and bank robbers” because that’s so him

Also I think he’d look incredibly pretty with the red and blue coloring as well as the completely black eyes, and because it’s funny to me, while the Hulk is a part of them, Bruce Banner has no memory of this in the slightest, and Johnny Storm is pissed when he finds out Spidey has a hero team with a base that he didn’t invite him to

The neglect and stuff also really ties into not joining SHIELD, because Peter is still the unofficial leader of the group and he's not used to depending on others, but also he's worried about SHIELD trying to force him to become a big named hero when he does just want to stop robbers, and he's terrified of SHIELD knowing his and his friends' identities and what danger that could lead to for them

There’s probably a ton I forgot to put down but this post is already so long 😭 lemme know if anyone has any questions!! would love to answer any

[bevsi]

I understand why people call liking plushies and cute things and cartoons “healing your inner child” but I find that pretty reductive, are we supposed to turn 25 and live in an exclusively beige house and watch crime procedurals

[beaft]

off of my last post: i feel like corporate horror has such a rich seam of possibilities that are just begging to be mined. the helpless, nightmarish feeling of watching your life get chewed up by the implacable machinery of faceless corporations in which you are nothing but an easily-replaceable cog and knowing the whole time that you chose to be here. that you can, theoretically, leave any time you want. mindless, pointless busywork that you're expected to take pride in even when it has no measurable impact. feeling like you're running on a treadmill - always busy, never achieving anything. upper managers who only communicate with you by email. CEOs who never communicate with you at all, and may not actually exist for all you know. you can leave any time you want. but you can't, can you? not really. you still have to pay the bills.