#session summaries

[six-improbable-things]

Looking back at the dnd notes, and man, session "thirty-six" (aka the 36th session since Rook joined. the rest have been playing longer) was a wild ride.

I start off the notes with this, and it just gets weirder from there.

[continued under the cut bc this got long]

I roast the wizard and the gunslinger during the fight summary:

This entire sequence of events is both wild and very funny to me:

(yes I Gladiator'd a guy into a pit. Yes I then jumped down on top of him and stabbed him through the back. Yes, the guy I did all this to save turned out to be a puppet of the BBEG.)

We put someone we thought was the BBEG in a hamster ball and gave it to a demon. (But it turns out the BBEG's puppet was waiting in the minivan the whole time.)

(We had this "war machine", but it could somehow fit like 8 people so I started calling it a minivan and couldn't stop.)

We get back to the city and Rook starts playing mind chess with the siblings who rule it, absolutely living up to the "bastard" part of his nickname in the process.

Rook is So Normal About Affection.

This was vague on purpose because the party didn't know yet, but Rook went to go buy a magic ring to hide the symptoms of his demon curse and saw Sigmar also buying an enchantment to hide the effects of the serum Ivan injected him with. And then Rook dissed the chihuahua-that-use-to-be-a-gnome who we rescued without knowing it was the guy who sold Rook to Wolf in the first place.

Also, I didn't write it in the notes (obviously) but we fucking LEFT A VERY IMPORTANT ITEM IN (the equivalent of) THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT OF A RENTAL MINIVAN. It ended up working out in our favor because otherwise we would have had to fight Sigmar in the werebeast labs after what was already a hard fight, which would have been extra traumatizing for Rook and might have ended with someone getting killed, but it's still really funny to think about.

[how-to-get-away-with-study]

Good fresh spot to study at in this hot summer 🌞

[raviollies]

DMed a oneshot for the friendos and got a new achievement : making a player cry!

The premise was that a Hag pulled them into her domain which was shaped by their dreams and desires, particularly Blythes! So it was a big fancy Villa with a ballroom, opera haus, fancy dinner, everything - and immediately somethings were different.

Arameia woke up NOT a werewolf and Lorelai woke up a HUMAN and not undead. Rosy cheeks, freckles and all (she was very weirded out over not being able to hear or smell as good).

For Arameia - the dream manifested her parents, alive and well, and her pet dog Lancelot, no longer geriatric. The horror of becoming an orphan never occurring. For Lorelai, it took away her vampirism, and the root cause...her father alive and well - though distant. It wasn't that she wanted to see him...but rather proof of wiping her sin away. For Eirwen, it wiped away her Sharrian past, and the tattoo that came with it, and gave her more friends, so she'd never be lonely. And for Raha.... Well let's just say he folded like a lawn chair in a hurricane.

Upon meeting her the gang had a lot of discussion as to how & why, though the concept of a motherly Blythe left everyone...concerned.

Since the party was a bit of a pickle not sure where to find Raha or Blythe since they're the only party members they haven't met up with, a certain special someone made an appereance...in the form of a kitty cat!

Theta explained that the dream is made up of Blythes wishes and desires : to have her friends with her and never die, her favourite food, a library full of artifacts, an extravagant villa with ballrooms - and the little changes to them was the Witch tapping into their own desires to keep them placated and comfortable...so they may just decide to forego reality and dream...like Blythe and Raha have. She does not want her precious petal just slowly withering away, being a meal, in another Witch's domain, that's her job, so she gives the party hints on how to break out before the Witch zaps her the hell out (she couldn't just enter as Witch's power is absolute within her domain, so it would take a lot longer for her to wiggle in strong enough to do anything substantial)

She introduces herself as Wunsch...the party can deduce she is a Night Hag (this is where I say I just made her Fae and idgaf) (as per my fae characters, she has freaky eyes...in this case it's a starry sky instead of pupil!) . She asks the party if there is "anything else she can do"...the party notices little things change around the dream, like suddenly even more food, some of their favourites, or new faces.

In order to find Blythe they needed to restore stopped time, and find the three clockhands for a magical clock...1 of them was behind some riddles, the other one, behind a test of friendship where they had to answer 3 things correct about the person in front of them. The last key, most horrifyingly...was inside Arameias parents.

THIS IS WHERE I MADE THE PLAYER CRY HEHE....Arameia decided she will do it herself, as she already buried them once...she does eventually manage to kill them (it was very sad because they did not Want to Die), and get the key...but not without a lot of heart ache and tears....Thankfully Lorelai was there for plenty of hugs...

Then they finally meet Raha! Who has fully drank the kool-aid and started dreaming, and he stands before them...he doesn't want them to break the spell. He fights for Blythe's dream...and his own...unwilling to let them take way her or his daughter....and that he and Blythr have nothing in the real world, no family, no home. Just hardship...and eventually he'll just die, and leave Blythe all alone.

After defeating him, the Witch takes matter into her own hands, as the party falls into the "bedroom" where Blythe is sleeping & have to fight the actual Hag herself in her true form...or rather wake up Blythe until the clock strikes 12 and the dream is fully manifested and unable to be stopped.

Wunsch's true form is a giant marble like lion with white feathers and a 4 armed upper body reminiscent of a sphinx. In the cracks of the marble a night sky can be seen, she doesn't particularly have many offensive spells, mostly relying on her enemies being slowed/confused/held/dominated until the timer runs out. (All the reflective shards were of Blythes &co's dreams and nightmares...the party gone, Raha withering and dying in bed, Theta, herself becoming a true hag ... or happy family for Arameia as an example...Eirwen surrounded by friends and Lorelai laughing with the party)

But the party manages to wake Blythe up using all that they've learned!! That yeah she wants these magical tomes and artifacts...but everything in here would have been things she's already found...she can never 'discover' anything new in a dream she's created, so let's go adventuring!

How she's always wanted to try Tarrasque steak but without trying she could never imagine the taste...so why not come with them and kill one?

That she's not safe from Theta in here, and if she was able to get in once, she can get it in again...so lets get out of here and break your curse!

That yeah they'll live eternally, but they won't be 'them' anymore...over time they'll have their edges smoothed over and it won't be the same people because we don't get to grow and experience new things...That Raha loves her the way she is...and that she's not a hideous monster...

When the party awakens, completely normal with..all the curses and stuff, they find out that time hasn't moved since they've fallen asleep, and immediately run to find Blythe and Raha...who don't remember anything that happened, and assume that maybe some ghost got them into a nightmare but they broke out of it. Arameia/Eirwen/Lorelai decided to keep some facts to themselves, like the presence of the child or fighting Raha.

Hilariously, they assume they had too much 'willpower' to be got by such a spell, despite in actuality being the only ones to fold. The gang did have a newfound appreciation for them realizing that yes...Blythe does love them a lot and that they don't know much about Raha and haven't been very good friends.

BUT IT ALL ENDED BITTERSWEET.,....with the gang now being sure all of them love each other and they can move from confronting their trauma and go forward...with fwiends :)

[cynical-tuba]

Leo got a new arm vissistude-ed on by his soon to be Sire-in-Law ayeee

[sparrow-flight]

Operation STATIC SHOCK

[4413 words, 23 minutes]

This letter was written in a sketchbook stored in Agent HROTHGAR’s locker. It is written in a blend of Ingush and Russian.

Operation STATIC SHOCK 13 FEB 2017

First operation. Helvetia Branch 4 headquarters in Rio, Brazil. Amaia is late, and Melydice immediately jumps on the opportunity to tell it’s a good habit to be on time. What a great start. I am not looking forward to her talkative presence.

Arquette tells us about the case. A static worm came out of a man. Two people have been bit. No one knows how it happened or what it means, but he has an idea: it’s because of a drug people have been trying to send out. He doesn’t know where it’s from. I guess that’s our job now.

He drops a duffel on the table: 1 pistol for each of us. He empties the bag and leaves as Fisher enters, who mutters about missing the meeting. Again, Melydice scolds him. Even though we flew here on the same plane, he apparently had another meeting before this one.

Arquette immediately starts walking out. Fisher chases after him and we follow. We go outside to see the van we’ll be using: a Benz sprinter. The kind I’ll tell the kids to avoid. We use it to go to the crime scene, an apartment. Arquette starts it. Fisher sits in shotgun, opens a laptop, and we go in. God, it was really fucking hot in there. But if I took our uniform jacket off, Arquette will scold me. Or worse, Melydice.

Speaking of Melydice, she mentions logistical issues with another agent to Arquette. I thought it was about Molly, who was supposed to be here. But apparently she wasn’t here because of food poisoning (she ate seafood for her birthday). Anyway, Arquette tells Melydice to leave the files on his desk. I don’t think the rest of us were supposed to hear that, because he looks back at us after saying that while driving. Fisher takes over the wheel while that happens.

We’re still on the way to the apartment. I’ll continue writing after we investigate.

---

We arrive. The three junkies and the five cops are there. Arquette parks and tells us to get out. He and Fisher are only here to babysit (they have another task to do). So I go talk to the police and the junkies immediately. I don’t want to spend more time here than necessary. I ask them what happened. One of them wonders if they’re allowed to tell us. I don’t know what to do, so I look at our babysitters. Arquette mouths, “Lie”.

This is going terribly already.

Melydice does the talking again. She says we’re back up. Obviously they don’t know who we are, who called us in, and know none of us are locals. But I guess they’re shaken enough to let it slip. He tells us about the call to the apartment. A worm came out of someone’s chest like the “conjuring” (I don’t know what that is). 

After that, Melydice takes charge of the group. She suggests searching the apartment and investigating wounds. Yona checks the junkie’s and officer’s wound: swollen, developed new tissue (Metasised? Metastasized? I don’t know what that is), and static-like. The junkie’s scar is worse than the officer’s. Melydice then says to split the group: two to talk to junkies (Tatsu, Melydice), three to search the apartment (Amaia, Yona, me).

The three of us see the body the worm tore through. Yona inspects the body. She says its nerve channels are scrambled, repurposed by alien signals. The pineal gland also grew a radar organ that broadcasted signals. I don’t understand what any of that means, but it doesn’t sound good.

I use the UV light on my gun to look for the drugs. They weren’t good at hiding them. It’s just in the cupboard: small vials of glowing pink liquid. I give it to Yona. She asks me what drug I think it is. I don’t know why.

Amaia figures out the drug’s taken with a syringe, so I suggest looking for them. I help Yona with my UV light. She finds one syringe easily with equipment to test drug purity. I continue shining normal light on her. Yona reads the test results and says the drug is nootropic (heightens senses). Fisher was right. She is useful.

Then, I search the bag the needle came from. It’s filled with university textbooks and notebooks. A student’s. I take the bag. Amaia checks the body and finds a wallet. His name was Ted, 22. He was just three years older than Hrodwyn. Poor kid.

I check for any signs of other people being here, and then we leave to join Melydice and Tatsu.

Outside, they tell us about their talk with the junkies (Vito, Mike). Vito thinks he needs to go to a hospital. Melydice says he will, after answering her questions. So he does. The flat belonged to Ted. Vito and Mike were there only for a hit. Neither are the suppliers. This was Ted’s third time taking the drug. It’s the first for Vito and Mike.

Vito said the drug was called “Pink”, or “Fuzz”. It lets you see everything, like “mega LSD”. It lets you see everything, and everything sees you. At the crime scene after taking the drug, Ted opened his mouth. Static came out, and then the worm came out and bit Vito.

Melydice asks where Ted got the drug from. He got it at a comic store. He used a sign up sheet for a game room (Magi Nation, Jyhad, some dead game), asked for 30 minutes, and the dealers showed up. Vito and Mike have never gone to the store.

Tatsu gets his turn and asks Vito how he and Mike knew Ted and the drugs (Ted was their university friend). And then he tells him how things aren’t so fun with drugs involved. Vito tells him to fuck off. Even then, Tatsu tries to medicate Vito’s wound, even though he has no idea what to do with it. What a strange man.

Melydice reconfirms if it was Vito and Mike’s first time. Vito confirms. He says they saw other worlds with the drug and refuse to take it again. He also tells us there are other users besides the three of them. They all know to sign up for the dead game.

By the way, while this was happening, Vito keeps asking Melydice to go to a hospital and to see a doctor. And each time, Melydice tells him she’ll let him only after he answers her questions. It’s good that she’s efficient. That’ll get me home sooner. But I remember he’s just a kid and feel a bit bad for him. In the end, Yona was the one who treated Vito.

Melydice starts questioning the bitten officer. She asks if it was a wild animal report. The officer says yes. And then Melydice insists that it was a wild animal he saw. The officer describes the same thing as the one before and whenever he says monster, Melydice talks over him to say wild animal. I don’t know how convincing she thinks she is…

This is when an officer approaches Arquette and Fisher to ask them questions. So I walk between them, tell Arquette we’re done and we can leave. But the officer still tries asking me who we are. I tell him it’s not his business. He says it is. I don’t know what to say. But Melydice likes to talk and she’s good at talking to people. So I point at Melydice. Ask her. Not me.

That worked. He goes to her. As she says we’re private investigators working under an NDA for a private health firm, I see her slip her wallet out, and she makes sure the officer sees it. I shouldn’t be surprised she’s not above that. And I figure I should be there for extra support, unfortunately, if things go dirty.

I don’t really follow what she says, but standing there seemed to work. The officer asks us to “show credentials” but instead, brings us aside and opens his hand, expecting money. I am not spending a single cent for the job. So it’s good that Melydice is. The officer takes her money.

At this point, it has been 1 hour and 20 minutes. Cops have been here 15 minutes: they’ve been here for 1h and 45 minutes total. In that time, Vito’s wound went from the fresh state of the officer’s to the worse state it is in now. We don’t have much time.

We agree on a plan: Arquette and Fisher will drive the victims to a hospital and will drop us off at Stoneburner Comics (we got the address from one of the junkies). Fisher also changes into his suit, for some reason. It’s a 15 minute drive to the comic store. We just arrived, so I’ll continue writing later.

---

The comic store is empty, except for some people. The sign up sheet at the front is easy to find. 20 people have signed up for dead games. 20 people have signed up for death.

Melydice takes a picture of the list and writes down Yona’s name. Hm. The store owner sees us and reaches for his phone. I thought he was onto us. So I walk over and put his phone down. Just in case. I say we’re only here for a good time. He doesn’t say anything. 

I can’t fucking believe what I’m about to do. You would never let me live this down. 

I sling my arm over Melydice’s shoulder to convince him that we’re only here for a good time with friends. That was all for fucking nothing, because he wasn’t convinced. So I try to ask who he was calling, but he’s too scared to answer! Why is he so scared? I don’t understand. I’m trying very hard to be nice, especially with my arm around fucking Melydice. I’m sure you’d agree. Right?

Melydice does calm him down in the end, and the owner says that he was going to call the dealers… until I put the phone down. God. What a sick joke. How was I supposed to know?? He could’ve just told me. At least Melydice has talked sense into the owner and I can leave. But Melydice holds the back of my jacket so I can’t. Bastard. At least I can write all this down before the dealers get here.

---

20 minutes later, Arquette calls Melydice from the hospital. He’s posing as a doctor and says the kids’ wounds are growing. Since Melydice has the information on the wounds and drugs, he asks her for help. Melydice calls Yona outside for her to relay what she knows to Henri. She thinks amputation is not a good idea, but remembers the radar organ in the pineal gland. In the living victims, the radar may be sending or receiving signals. She suggests surgery to remove it. Arquette tells Fisher to find out if there is a basement: if there is, put the victims there. If that doesn’t work, trepanation. He speaks French and hangs up.

Then the dealers arrive, and we go into a game room. The dealers are 2 people. First: 7’ man, shit posture, bald patch on neck. He doesn’t have hair. Instead, it’s… long, thin cattails poking out of his head? Second: 5’ woman, all muscle, looks very sunburnt except for the glyph on her head. Strangely, I think I recognise it. Maybe from a book I’ve seen. It’s from another world, so she’s definitely not from this place. Maybe from this planet, but not of this… realm. Maybe you’d known more about it, Lin. Ah, but if you were here, I wouldn’t bring you into this mess.

The man is the one who talks. He asks how many we want. Melydice asks how many they have. The man opens his bag, showing 20 vials. Tatsu asks if they’re the only suppliers, and the man says they are.

I ask how much it is. It’s 4000 Real. God. I’m not spending that much for this job, and I’m especially NOT spending that much for drugs! I say it’s too expensive and leave. The rest follow. The dealers are upset and stare at us, but I don’t care. All I need to do is know their car. I see it, write down the licence plate in this sketchbook, and draw the symbol on the woman’s head. Melydice calls Fisher to pick us up.

When Arquette and Fisher arrive, I show them my sketchbook. Fisher goes to his computer and gets the car’s information. It includes the owner's apartment address. We leave immediately.

Fisher drives fast. Very fast. Arquette quickly gives our breaching order. Tatsu goes in first with his sword (why is he using a sword??). I’m next to throw a flashbang to cover him. Melydice gets the shotgun and goes next. Amaia and Yona are door guards.

We arrive. As Fisher and Arquette wait at separate exits, we don our kevlar vests and scopes and storm up to the fourth floor. Tatsu kicks down the door, and the skull on the table screams like a death whistle.

My gut tightens. Melydice kicks the skull. It shatters and stops screaming. The dealers aren’t here but others will hear it. We need to move fast.

Messy room. Takeout boxes everywhere. There’s a couch with a broken frame. Something heavy broke it, maybe. A pile of laundry behind it. I smell it before seeing it. Oily. Disgusting. There’s also a blue-grey metal gong on the wall. It doesn’t have any symbols on it.

Rooms: living room, bedroom, bathroom, kitchen. Amaia and Yona stand guard. Melydice checks the bedroom. I cover her. There’s a wardrobe and closet. The bed… is a mess. Medication, handguns, blood and… semen samples, candy, and coloured lamps shaped like a round cartoon cat. Very cute. Hygd might like it. Melydice checks under the bed. There’s nothing. I open one of the candies. Normal candy. I check the sample labels. Only has names and words ‘blood’ or ‘semen’. 

Melydice checks the closet. I watch her back. No clothes. But there’s a body. McDonalds cashier. Opened up. Missing organs. Walls smeared with no-scent incense. No wonder there’s no smell. But I can imagine it. He was just a kid. Really still a kid. He was just Merethel’s age. 17 years old.

Melydice asks Yona to inspect the body while calling her “sweetie”... Meanwhile, I shine UV light on the corpse, the closet (just smears), and the rest of the room. There’s nothing much. Melydice checks the wardrobe. It’s designed to suspend a person (there’s a harness dangling from the top).

Melydice checks on Yona and asks if something is wrong, as if there’s nothing wrong with a teenager being ripped apart. Yona says his chest was crudely opened and it is empty. Heart, lungs, stomach, liver, all gone. Though his pancreas is still there. There are signs of struggle: he was serrated open while alive. I’ve seen all sorts of things before. You know that, Lin. But this… now that the job’s done, my mind keeps going back to Merethel.

Anyway, Melydice thanks her. The kid has no identification on him, so I take a picture of his face and the room. I wonder if his parents know. They should.

Tatsu checks the kitchen: cabinets, oven, a fridge. He opens the fridge. There are sheets and sheets of fatty skin marinating in plastic bags, their colours changing to the light. The oven has wooden boxes. The cabinet has lighters, incense, crystal necklaces. Tatsu goes back to the boxes to open them, and there’s a shit ton of Pink.

In the bedroom, I check for fingerprints on the items on the bed again with my UV light. I ask Yona to record the fingerprints, and we both gather the rest of the evidence. Yona categorises them to bag them. For the 5 handguns, I turn on the safety, unload them, keep one magazine on me and hand one to Yona. She thanks me. I distribute the other magazines to the other agents. Tatsu joins us to help.

Amaia suddenly locks the door and puts a chair under the handle. We stare at her. She says she hears the dealers’ voices echoing up the stairwell. They’re coming. There’s no key. The dealers have it on them. 

I quickly check the bathroom. There are two sets of helmets and “shoulder pads” (I searched it up later: gorget). On the shower curtains are glyphs. They look like computer writing. I tell the other agents. Melydice and Tatsu checks.

Melydice reads the glyphs:

WHEN THE CURTAIN IS DRAWN FROM ONE SIDE TO THE OTHER, THE GATE OPENS.

Tatsu reads more:

SHOULD YOU OPEN IT, THE AIR WILL FREEZE. IT WILL LEAD TO THE FEATURELESS PLANE AND THE MONITOR WILL CARRY YOU TO THE BORDERWORLD. THE WHIPLASH IS FATAL WITHOUT NECK PROTECTION.

Tatsu also tells us about the Pink in the oven. But there’s no time to do anything about it now! We put our backs to the wall: Melydice to one side of the door, Tatsu to the other. We hear them coming, talking in a strange language. Amaia hears the woman fiddle with the keys and twist it. The man says something in a low tone. They speak in hushed voices.

And then the man speaks in English. He stutters. “What-what-what do-do you-you-you want?”

Surprisingly, he seems… genuine. Open to talk. And nervous. Good. I ask if he wants to live. Silence. Then, from the other side of the door, after whispering with the woman, the man says the gong blocks out sound from the room. If we want to negotiate, we open the door.

Melydice removes the chair from the doorknob and opens the door. She tells them to put their hands on their heads and walk in. The outer layer of the woman’s skin looks like it’s made of stone, while the man’s skin is peeling off. Tatsu notices the skin looks like the one in the fridge.

When they see our guns, the man, who’s 2 feet taller than the woman, tries to hide behind her. He’s trembling. Melydice says there’s nothing to be scared of if they follow our instructions. The man grips the woman’s shoulders. She shrugs them off. Tries to. Says she’ll put her hands up because the man’s too much of a bitch to.

We keep the guns on them. Melydice keeps threatening them. The woman says not to do anything funny and threatens us with two stone eggs in her hands…

I notice the man eyes the bathroom. I follow his gaze and look back at him with a raised eyebrow. The woman says to not look at him, to look at her, and to ask her questions. 

Amaia closes the door. Melydice asks where they get the drugs from. The woman asks why, saying we probably already have some. But we don’t care about that. We want to know where they’re from. The woman says ‘Mechanics’.

Melydice asks her to elaborate, but the woman instead comments about how calm we are, as if we’ve seen these things before. (No idea what they’re talking about, but alright.) She explains they’re not from this world, which is obvious at this point. Then she explains where they get the drug from. Pink is fuel they get from mechanics of their world that’s used to fix communication devices. They sell it here because it’s cheap back home. They come here, take human materials (the ones on the bed), and sell them back at their home.

I ask about the skin in the fridge. They’re disguises to look like humans. It’s what the man wears, but it doesn’t look good on him. He’s too stressed for it to work. I ask about the kid in the closet. Organ trafficking. Some things still stay the same across worlds, huh?

I also ask what the rock eggs do. She asks if we want to find out. Tatsu and I say no. As Melydice reaches to her pocket, the woman’s hands tighten around the eggs. But all Melydice wants to do is to call Arquette.

Some time later, we hear his voice: “Room service.” Amaia opens the door. Arquette and Fisher enter. Fisher’s two fists are held in front of him and when the door closes, a flaming sword appears in his hands. You would’ve loved seeing that. The sword, I mean. It sounds like the story about the sword in the stone you tell me about. The one with Merlin, right?

Arquete gets more information out of the drug dealers. They’re from a city called the Borderworld, made by extinct aliens. It’s filled with refugees from other universes. Traffickers, sorcerers, slavers, awful people. Also slaves. These two go between both worlds through gates like the bathroom, trying to keep low because both worlds hate them. So they do a bad job in both worlds. Money’s tight. They have a hard time keeping it. Besides Pink, they also sell machetes (made out of meteoric iron, intricately engraved, very useful for combat), protective equipment, necklaces (good for defence, guns will be useless with them).

And then, instead of killing them or arresting them, Arquette decides to negotiate with them for some goddamn reason. If they stop selling drugs and stop killing people, Helvetia will keep them alive as payment for their goods. He continues to threaten the woman, cornering her, and intimidates her into dropping the stone eggs, the snake. She complies. Nothing happens.

Arquette tells Melydice to bag the eggs as evidence and to take them away. We can handle the aliens as we please. As we do so, Melydice tells them they’re lucky we were told not to kill them. The woman also spits out an amulet and her skin turns to normal.

I hold Fisher back. Since he’s the computer guy I thought he could, I don’t know, track the kid’s face and find his parents. And I don’t need to use English to talk to him. He says he’ll take care of it. No parent wouldn’t want to know their kid has been torn up like that. It’ll be a closed casket funeral, and he’ll find the kid’s parents.

We’re the last to leave. Fisher tells me that even if it doesn’t look like it, this was a job well done. It sure as hell doesn’t feel like it. It doesn’t feel like anything.

Everyone gets in the van. The woman and man are handcuffed. Arquette fixes the disguise on the man, looks through the evidence bags, and keeps one of the cat lamps. I’m glad I kept one in my bag. Hygd’s going to love it. I hope she will. He also talks about keeping one of the lighters even though Fisher says Arquette doesn’t smoke anymore.

Arquette tells the prisoners that they’ll be kept in a special cell where Melydice can visit them. Melydice interrupts, saying he's making another mistake by keeping them. Arqutte says it’s better to keep them out of others’ hands, even though there are other ways of doing that. The prisoners also have weapons and defences that are good for Helvetia. Melydice leans back into her seat: “Don’t say I didn't warn you, Mr. Arquette.” Arquette trusts her to take care of him when he gets over his head.

I’m writing part of this as we drive back to headquarters. I also take another cat lamp: something for Molly’s birthday. She’s still young. She might like it. Yona takes two of them. Tatsu and Amaia take incense.

We arrive at headquarters. Fucking Arquette had the same idea as me and gave his cat lamp to Molly! Melydice tells her to throw it away because it’s “touched by devils”. I think it’s more important for her to know they were left next to blood and semen samples. I give my second cat lamp to Molly since I don’t know what to do with a spare. I tell her to not listen to Melydice, but that she may want to wash her hands because of the blood and semen samples. I clarify that the samples weren’t on the bed. They were in the tubes. So the lamps are at least that clean.

Arquette and Fisher talk to each other in French as we follow them into an office. Arquette says we did good. And the bastard reveals he made us wear the uniforms to make the mission harder for us! He wants us to make sure we have the right clothes with the right situation. Obviously we already know that. A fucking six year old would know that!

He also reveals the police were under his pay. Apparently, when the cops at the apartment called their office, it also went to Helvetia. This won’t always be the case for our operations, though. Then he talks about the other Helvetia branches (we’re in the South American one). The North American branch was killed off. A prisoner from there either escaped or was broken out. The African branch killed themselves. The Asian branch is dying out. There’s only Europe, Antarctica, South America, and Australia left. Melydice raises an eyebrow at Arquette. I can hear her say “I told you so”.

We’ll get a message in late April to get our clearances, whatever that means. We’re also supposed to get “mandated therapy sessions” as well. I also don’t understand what that means, but I don’t care either. Because of the list of 20 we gathered, we got paid well. Very well. And most importantly, I can finally go home.

My flight home isn’t until tomorrow, so I’m writing this from my hotel room while lying on my bed. To be honest, I don’t know why I wrote this. I thought this would’ve been like those books you like to read. But even if you were here and I was stuck in Helvetia, I would never show this to you. It’s sick. And I’ll get killed for that, too.

I guess I can’t help it. Maybe in another world where all this was just make-believe, you would’ve liked reading these. And it’s always nice to write to you. It’s like you’re still here, listening to me. And I would really like you to be here right now.

---

Amaia, Melydice, Tatsu, and Yona belong to and were played by other @daruqin, @katastrofish, @mintrhine, and @inkysatell respectively. Arquette and Fisher belong to and were played by our game master @theroyalzealot.

This campaign session was based on the scenario "The Signal Smugglers" by mellonbread.

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[stiffyck]

today's 5llsmp session was fun

@aresonist

[hopepetal]

Welcome to 5llsmp, an experimental hardcore series– gets smacked

Right! Us Tumblr folk decided to get together and play some good ol' fashioned third life! Just with four lives. And a Boogeyman. But no life trade function.

The colour system is as follows.

Four lives- dark blue 💙

Three lives- green 💚

Two lives- yellow 💛

One life- red ♥️

Every time after we have a session, the players send me summaries of what happened, and I write it all up in an official statement! Some people recorded, so be on the lookout for little clips here and there! The official tag for this smp is #5llsmp, so check that out for the artwork, fanfiction, and other posts about our little game!

Well then, without further ado...

Session One

Your players:

Stiff (any) @stiffyck

Bee (she/they) @applestruda

Jay (she/they) @happy-hermit

Chem (he/they/it) @chemdisaster

Star (they/zie) @scarring-lust (18+)

Ed (he/byte/chirp/gore) @frootyloopy

Space (he/xe) @space-apples

Phil (he/zir/ghost/it) @aresonist

Wilm (he/they) @whilmsy

Melou (he/they) @melouthechalk

Zera (they/he) That’s me!

Elle (she/her) @periwinklemoonlight

Brandy (any) @brandyy0moss

5ievel (any) @5-fievel

Moth (he/him) @evenmoreevil

Admins:

Console- Wren @wren-pineapples

Playing- Zera (me again!)

The session starts off with a bang (more like a vine boom)!

Stiff runs off with Bee and Phil to gather materials before eventually running into Moth in the mountains! They decide to base together, creating the Lads of the Valley! Stiff then goes looking for water and meets Zera, and they both get distracted and go mining together.

Space and Wilm meet at spawn and decide to stick together, watching Chem take the enchanter and run off! They run off to the desert where they meet Zera at night. Space unfortunately dies to a husk, becoming the first green name of the server! Wilm then leaves Zera and goes back to spawn to find Space!

Zera immediately runs off in a random direction alone, and manages to find a village. They get an iron sword from the blacksmith! They briefly meet with Space and Wilm before mining some iron and getting everything set. They meet with Stiff and give him a diamond! They find sculk with Stiff and start mining it, but fall into lava and die. They then meet with Jay and decide to team, becoming the Boatem Birdies.

Chem is the first to mine the surface iron and run off with the enchanter! The boogeyman is chosen, and it ends up being him! He tries to make a plan for killing someone, and lies when Zera briefly passes by and asks if he’s the boogeyman. At spawn, Chem kills Wilm in what is described as the “most pathetic chase scene ever” where Wilm begs Chem not to kill him and Chem says they will cry if they don’t get the kill. Chem then goes to find a cave, names it “the pits of depression and self-loathing”, and allows Star to use the enchanter for sugar cane.

Star goes on a lone adventure, taking care to slaughter every living creature they see, with a special vendetta against the donkeys. They find a mineshaft and an enchanted book! They find Chem in a ravine and they meet up with Brandy for a bit! Star then goes on a hunt for moss and nearly dies.

Elle, staying true to her adventure loving self, basically stays in a cave all session digging clay for bricks. This is because Elle wants to build a house to fight Bee in.

5ievel and Ed stick together, calling themselves the Iron Guys. They briefly met up with Wilm, Brandy, and Elle and mined for a bit. 5ievel died to a creeper before rejoining the group briefly before going to the nether. The Iron Guys decide to base underground!

Space has died two more times, becoming the first and only red of the server.

Meanwhile, the Lads of the Valley are trying to get goat horns, spending about fifteen minutes with varying amounts of success before killing most, if not all, of the goats. Stiff dies by getting shot by a skeleton, and chats with Wilm after respawning before rejoining the Lads of the Valley.

The Boatem Birdies make a mini boatem pole with only two boats, before beginning to make a tower base. They become frenemies with the Lads of the Valley and discuss how screwed they are if one of the Lads becomes the boogey next session. Moth puts up a cobblestone wall between the Boatem Birdies and the Lads’ property, which Jay and Zera later take down. The Boatem Birdies attempt to make a peace treaty with the Lads with flowers, but Phil and Moth burn the flowers while Bee accepts.

The session has ended!

Life count:

Stiff- 3

Bee- 4

Jay- 4

Chem- 4

Star- 4

Ed- 2

Space- 1

Phil- 3

Wilm- 3

Melou- 4

Zera- 3

Elle- 4

Brandy- 3

5ievel- 3

Moth- 4

[cheesuschristman]

2024 art summary!!

Uhmm so i could only get from july bc i only started posting then and i couldve used art before that i didnt post but uhm i didnt date them so-

Click for better res :>

[that-wildwolf]

I hate it here (affectionate)

[rb9]

alright its rant time

i wasnt gonna post but then villeneuve kept fucking saying shit so im gonna rant

context: irrelevant former f1 champion jacques villeneuve talking shit about kimi's fp1 session in monza

yes it was a practice session, was kimi pushing a little too much? maybe perhaps. but you put a kid in an f1 car for a session, he's going to push. young guys are coming up into the sport, they are pushing the limits because that is simple the only way to find the limit. they are inevitably going to have a shunt or two. its happened to almost every driver when they are first coming into the sport. you cannot expect a young rookie to come in and drive like they have been in f1 for 10 years. rookie's are going to make some mistakes bc driving an f1 car is very different to driving in the feeder series. even lewis has struggled with the w15 this year.

so how about we don't say things like "he's not ready for f1 because he put it in the wall." how about, as a grown ass man, we don't talk shit about kids who are learning and are excited about their career starting. how about we don't judge a kid on 1 lap in 1 practice session.

we should be supporting young kids being given a shot in this sport because that is how the sport grows, everyone was a rookie once and im sure made their fair share or mistakes, and also is quite literally the entire point of the feeder series, and rookie fp sessions. when max came in as a 17 years old with only one year experience in single seaters, everyone had a lot of shit to say and look at him now. he learnt, he pushed, he fought, and now he is a 3x world champion. i say again, lets not judge so harshly so quickly.

jacques villeneuve is (somehow) a world champion who no one fucking cares about and loves to talk shit and quite frankly, i dont want to hear it.

[anywaymurder]

Mosquito Monday

Chapter 58

With big dire-stirges attached to Annori and Kevin, Ara wastes no time and runs one straight through. He knows these creatures well from back in the swamp — this is just another proverbial ‘mosquito monday’ to him, and he flexes his ranger skills. Annori tries burning the specimen that’s attached itself to Kevin, while also feeding him a potion to keep him on his feet. The dire-stirge drinks its fill of Kevins blood and then tries to leave, but gets skewered in the air by both Raiden and Ara. The swarm of smaller stirges that’s been attacking Bree/Godobald chooses the tasty newcomers over their torch-swinging opponent and heads in the group’s direction. It isn’t long before there’s critters all over them, draining them of their blood at an alarming rate. Kevin has the ingenious idea to summon an illusion of fire in hopes of scaring away the swarm, and Raiden expands the illusion to make it seem scarier. While this does make the stirges’ attacks more erratic, their thirst is still stronger than their fear. Soon the ongoing assault of the tenacious creatures causes both Raiden and Kevin to lose consciousness, with several stirges still attached to their bodies. Ara and Annori exchange a panicked glance — there’s not much time, do they revive their fallen friends or fight off the threat? In a split second, they opt for the latter, and Ara takes out a huge chunk of the swarm with some well-placed spear swipes. Annori meanwhile summons a flaming blade and, despite the unfamiliar weight of this new weapon, unleashes her fiery fury on the remaining creatures until they are all dead or gone. They rush to see to their friends. With the help of some healing magic and medical insight (Ara crits on stabbing stabilizing Raiden), both are soon brought back to consciousness. Annori wraps Raiden and Kevin in a big tight hug. ‘Don’t scare me like that again!’

Meanwhile, Ara approaches the exhausted halfling that’s slumped against the wall on the other side of the room. Bree/Godobald: ‘Who are you?’ Ara: ‘Right now, your savior, so you’d best stay calm if you know what’s good for you.’ ‘What do you want?’ they ask. ‘Nothing from you,’ replies Ara, ‘except maybe your body. Wait, not like that.’ It quickly becomes clear that the person talking to them is indeed Godobald, the ghost of the ancient soldier, and not Bree the student. He asks Ara if he’s with Praxemar - he thought the swamp elves were neutral? Kevin joins in to offer some much needed reassurance to the confused quartermaster. ‘We’re here to help,’ he emphasizes. ‘Do you remember what happened?’ Godobald remembers an attack on their camp, and then waking up in a room and going to find his family. But the city had somehow changed. And this body is much less suitable for fighting off stirges than the one he’s used to. He thinks he may have died? Kevin gently confirms this and explains that the body he now possesses belongs to someone else — someone who wanted to summon him to simply talk to him, but instead got taken over when something went wrong. They wonder if there may be unfinished business that this soul needs to attend to, but Annori realizes that that’s not what brought him here. Their best shot at setting things right is bringing him back to Marcius to try and reverse the summoning. Thankfully, Godobald agrees, and they scrape themselves together for a painful, exhausted walk back to the city proper. 

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[bang-bang-gang]

cant tell if this is a New Thing, or if people have always been doing the quote indent summary style on ao3 and i just switched site skins and didnt notice

[raviollies]

COVID has been kicking my ass so a smiley Blythe to cheer myself up

[cynical-tuba]

Yesterday during our dark ages session Emir our Malkavian went to York to help the Gangrel prince Vilda. He took Leo and Æthelfrid along with him

While looking for her we found a very angry Garou who was controlled by the inquisition who chased them down but Emir managed to free him by removing the collar. He managed to convince him to be our ally because he met this Garou's dad many decades ago.

Then him and Tertius went to the flames of the center of the city, and found Vilda, who was slain by the inquisition??? Mithras' controlled mercenaries??? We just don't know.

Meanwhile, Leo and Æthelfrid, found a human guy named Cecil who had been trapped under a house in a trap door, in a vast, lightless cave/hole for 3 years. We let him out and took him back to Oxford. (Along with our Garou friend)

[arkhammaid]

Any fic updates coming this weekend? 👀

uh, probably not. most likely not, since i have three finals next week and the first one is on monday 😔

[stiffyck]

Summary of the 5llsmp session 2 from the Lads POV!

The session starts, and Phil immediately falls to his death and turns yellow. Stiff soon follows, dying to a creeper and becoming yellow. Bee spends most of the session making the base.

Stiff makes an alliance with Chem before regrouping with the lads for a bit. He heads off to try and find food and dies to a creeper, turning red. Phil goes to make an alliance with the sillies and meets Stiff at spawn. The valley gets split into two halves- the blue half, and the red half. Phil falls off the hill and dies, turning red and immediately goes to burn down a forest.

The lads all enchant their equipment. Stiff then threatens Zera with Moth backing them, but lets them go after they give him wheat. The lads meet with the sillies before noticing in the chat that Zera is at the valley. Both the lads and the sillies run back to the valley, and this turns into a sort of party with the lads and their allies, the sillies alongside Chem and Melou. Stiff kills Melou, then Phil kills Chem.

Melou comes back and officiates a wedding for Stiff and Brandy. Stiff kisses Brandy and then kills them immediately. Phil tries to kill a bunch of people with a tnt but fails spectacularly. Phil and Stiff then take Melou and Chem and go hunt down Star, the last non-lad blue life. Melou betrays them and warns Star ahead and Stiff and Phil turn to hunting down Melou instead.

The session ends with Melou on the run and the red duo + Chem after them.

thank you to @hopepetal for being an amazing admin and for helping me put the summary together!!!!

the lads:

@applestruda @evenmoreevil @aresonist