#seriously though there is something wrong with us

[multipleoccupancy]

Theo was still very nervous about the plan and he was surprised when Samantha asked him about it, though it seemed she was not asking about that at all. Perhaps she didn't want to talk about it and was trying to settle her own nerves. "Yeah we were getting on fine. I do like her, I just..." he gave a stiff sigh as Davidson's threats crept back into his head. "I know there's going to be more to this, and I think it's going to be bad." He mused seriously and shot a look to Samantha, all honesty.

"You're right about her and how she would have been thinking though," he agreed, "she'd have not listened to a word you or Odyssey said if you'd planned on leaving her behind." For better or worse he still didn't know. "I have her written permission to take the crossbow when she goes back to her own timeline though," he said insistently but playfully, hoping but know it probably wouldn't stick. He watched her for a moment, "how are you feeling?" She had to be worried still.

"Ah well Sloane's are just masters of disguise," he said cheerfully, again not realising it was being used nefariously by his counterparts. He watched as she left the crossbow behind, stole a quick glance around the office just to be sure everything was secure before he closed and then locked the door to the room with the click from a key, which he promptly handed to Violet.

"I find it's often best to use a different one wherever possible," he explained happily, "but what I use in California I can reuse in New York, that's a lot of miles between uniforms and costumes." There were only so many he could use after all. "I have noticed something as we have been talking," he then mused out loud as he turned to lead her towards the admin offices. "You speak of your father and myself in your timeline," comfortable topics as far as he knew despite being completely wrong about that. "Have you not met Orion from your timeline?" It was a careful question but in some ways loaded too, was Samantha not part of the future?!

𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐎 & 𝐕𝐈𝐎𝐋𝐄𝐓 @multipleoccupancy

As they stepped outside of the room and started making their way through the corridors, Samantha glanced at Theo. "How are you feeling?" She could imagine that he was nervous about the plan, but that wasn't exactly what she wanted to know. "You were having fun with Violet, earlier." She hoped it meant that he was more settled about the matter, now.

"The plan is to keep her as far away from the monster as possible." Which he seemed to have understood on his own -otherwise he might have insisted on keeping the crossbow. "But with Odyssey, we knew she would not accept to just stay behind and wait. Like that, she can feel useful, and we can be less worried about her."

Unaware that Sloane assumed he used his disguise to visit Theo's family, Violet listened as he explained how he had learned this skill. It was so eerie to think that the Sloane she knew had used it to trick and abduct her, and yet here she was, casually talking about it with another version of him. But maybe it could help her notice the disguises better?

"I never thought about it that way," she admitted, "but you're right. To be honest, I'm always tricked by the disguises of the Sloane I know. And I'm usually good at spotting disguises." Yes, she could always see right through Count Olaf's disguises.

She stepped into the office and placed the crossbow on his desk, before walking toward Sloane again. Now she would look more convincing as a cold and tired teenager.

"Do you always wear a different disguise, when you're on a mission?" He didn't know that one day he would fool Samantha and Theo for the worst reasons. He didn't know that he would use his disguises to lure Theo into deadly traps. And she couldn't tell him. She couldn't stop it.

[anashins]

Too Hot for Snow

Pairing: Jaehyun x reader x Jaemin

Genre: angst, drama, romance, smut, love triangle

Word Count: 17k

Warnings: There are two smut scenes with the same mc, but nothing that really needs a tw. If you aren't here for him, you can skip them without missing out on anything tho! The other mc won't come short in terms of romance either, trust the process! But it's a bittersweet ending.

Summary: When your husband decides to file for divorce, you find yourself back in the arms of your first love. After all, things are different now and you're not kids anymore. But after a weekend lost in heavy snowfall and wishful dreams, you come to the painful realization that some people don't want to change, and others change too much.

A/N: I wrote this inspired by my own experience from a time where I had to decide between my situationship and now-bf. I thought I could pass this message on to ones who need this as well. Sometimes, we make the right decisions, sometimes the wrong ones. Sometimes, it's too late, sometimes it's not. (Also, I miss Jaehyun :( D-497)

Three years. That was how long your marriage had lasted.

“I want a divorce.”

These words shouldn’t surprise let alone hurt you - but they still did. After all, nothing could prepare you for the day your husband decided to divorce you.

You had talked about it before Jaehyun had moved out and mutually agreed on seriously thinking about an official separation while taking this six month break from each other. 

Yet, hearing this final decision out loud from your own husband’s lips made it real. And even though it had been foreseeable and up to a point even inevitable, you hadn’t been prepared for reality, for the fact that now, this was indeed real.

Your husband didn’t want to be married to you any longer. 

How was that even possible?

We walk down the aisle, thinking it will be forever. Donned in our white gown, the veil in our hair and the flower bouquet close to our chest, we are full of hope, light and love for the person who awaits us by the altar. 

“Till death do us part” is considered the love line of our lives as we all desire to vow it one day to our partner.

But thinking about it, it sounds morbid. We stand in front of witnesses and promise to the heavens that it will literally take a terminal illness, a fatal accident or another forced act of nature to tear this love apart. 

The painful truth is that it takes much, much less.

It often takes minimal profound, heroic and inspiring reasons for two married people to never look at each other again. Oftentimes, love doesn’t get torn apart by death. It gets torn apart by pent-up arguments, lack of commitment and the belief that everything you already own still isn’t enough.

“What about Kang Kang?”

Your throat was so dry, you didn’t even recognize your own voice, and Jaehyun ran his fingers through his hair. He had dark circles under his eyes and his clothes were wrinkled, hair completely askew. 

There had been a time, back then in university, where on weekends, you both had looked like that, but for entirely different reasons. You were just staying at home, playing games and watching movies together. It had been the best and most carefree time of your lives. The strict business man Jaehyun had turned into throughout the years would have never left the house looking like this.

At this moment, you could see your past boyfriend in your husband again, who you had long deemed missing, and you wondered where you both had taken the wrong turn in your once fairytale-like relationship.

“He’s your dog on paper,” Jaehyun said nearly matter-of-factly. “You can keep Kang Kang.”

You bit into your bottom lip, so hard that you swore you could nearly taste something metallic. “Is this your final decision?”

In the break of the second that he needed to answer, you grew hopeful again. Hopeful that your husband would admit this decision was wrong, that he wanted to work on things for you two to be happy again.

Because this was the conclusion you had come to last night. You didn’t want a divorce, you didn’t want to give this all up. You wanted your little family, you wanted your husband and your dog, and children of your own in the future.

But instead, Jaehyun said with a tired, but determined voice,

“It’s my final decision.”

____

If Jaehyun were a season, he’d be summer. 

He was the feeling of getting woken up by sunshine tickling the tip of your nose. He was the salt on your skin when you emerged from the sea, the sand beneath your toes and the water dripping from your hair tips. He was the shade under a tree on sweltering days and flowers blooming in all colors.

He was everything good, fair and bright.

… Until summer vanished and you were left alone when seasons changed. It didn’t only become clear by change in weather, but also by the fact that Jaehyun had taken every last piece of himself out of your once shared apartment.

By the next week, he had officially filed for divorce. 

Summer had come to an end.

____

If Jaemin were a season, he’d be winter.

He was the feeling of thick sweaters when you got dressed on a cold day. He was the sound of snow crunching under your boots, the cup of hot chocolate you drank while watching the icebound lake. He was the snowstorm that came overnight and locked you in, causing chaos and destruction.

Jaemin was charming, tempting and dangerous.

But who, after a hot, sweltering summer, had never not anticipated a beautiful winter wonderland?

Luckily, winter came early that year.

____

“Why are you calling me at this hour?”

You stared at the skyline stretching in front of you. The few cars passing by were only recognizable by their headlights, but apart from that as well as a handful of windows reflecting some light in the building across from you, it was a quiet and dark night, the clock showing 3am.

“Why are you picking up?” you asked.

A light hearted laughter that made your heart jump followed. “I will always pick up when you call, you know that.”

“I know.”

A beat of silence passed by as you opened the balcony door and stepped outside, closing it again behind you. You turned your head to the sky and watched the moon, and you knew Jaemin was doing the same right now. 

“Did you already sign and send out the papers?” Jaemin questioned.

“Yes,” you answered, and as you spoke, you could see a small cloud forming in front of your face. “They are at my lawyer’s now to get checked. So perhaps, by next week, his lawyer will get them and send them out to him to sign too. Then, I’ll be a divorcée.”

“Don’t use that word.”

“Why not?”

“It sounds like you’ll be a lonely, sad woman.”

“Well, if anything, I’ll be a lonely, sad dog-mom.” Your gaze wandered aside to the balcony door from where you could see Kang Kang sleeping peacefully on this dog bed in the very corner of the living room.

“You’re neither going to be a lonely, sad woman nor a lonely, sad dog-mom. You’re going to be free. You should be happy.”

“I can only be happy with you.”

Jaemin let out a chuckle that came in unison with a cool winter breeze grazing your skin, and only now you noticed how icy it actually was outside, only dressed in your pajamas and a bathrobe. But right now, you didn’t mind the cold. You only tried to remember the last time you had felt so… like Jaemin had said… happy. 

It had been half a year since Jaehyun had come to you to file for a divorce and already a full year since you had actually started living in separation. That was enough time to move forward when you had been long unhappy before.

You could finally quit pretending, quit fighting, quit caring. You had finally reconnected with the man you had always referred to as your first love, willing to start all over again with him.

Then why, when you looked at the night sky, the only thing your mind wandered back to was still the night Jaehyun had proposed to you?

Back then, he had just graduated from university and you had been working in your job for two years already. He had saved up all the money that he had earned while being enlisted to buy you the perfect engagement ring that was now kept hidden in your drawer along with the wedding band. A very beautiful ring that had once been a symbol for a very beautiful relationship.

His proposal had taken place under the night sky too, in privacy like you had wished for, with only the moon and stars as witnesses. It had hurt to look at the night sky for a very long time after your separation. But it didn’t anymore now, it was more of a nostalgic feeling.

As though Jaemin could read your thoughts, he said, “Don’t worry, when we get married, we don’t have to go through a divorce, I’ll get you an even more striking ring.”

“Stop joking.”

“I’m not joking,” he obliged. “I mean it.”

“Jaemin…” You swallowed, hard. “What are you even saying?”

“I’m saying,” you overheard him taking a deep breather, “if I had done things right the first time, we would have stayed together after high school and you would have gotten married to me instead, and you wouldn’t need to go through all this now.”

You both knew that this wasn’t true. 

There had been grave things that had led to the downfall of your first relationship and you into the arms of your soon-to-be ex-husband. Things that had been totally out of your might to control as you had been so young. But that was long in the past and you had both grown enough as people to pick up where you had left off and do it better this time. 

After all, Jaemin was your first love. That meant something, that was something special.

You sighed. “We were only kids. But now we’re adults. We now have the chance to do it better than back then, Jaemin, and that means to always be honest with each other.”

“I mean every word I said.”

You felt your heart turn heavy. “But for me, it means that I don’t think I will be ready to get married again in the next few years. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry about that.” His light-hearted laughter took the weight from your chest at an instant. That was what had always fascinated you about Jaemin. Everything seemed so easy and carefree with him. “I’ll wait. One year, two years, five years, ten years… I’ll wait until you’re ready again.”

“Back then, you never wanted to get married and always dreamed about getting famous, moving to America....” You only then realized that it could be taken as an insult and wanted to correct yourself quickly, but he preempted, 

“Back then, I chose foolishness over commitment. But this time, I mean it and I will come get you next week.”

“Get me?” You raised a brow. “To where?”

“To Jeonju."

“To do what?”

“To be with me.”

“I can’t move to Jeonju so suddenly, Jaemin. I have a job here, my apartment, my dog, my family, especially my grandma…”

“Then only for the weekend. Bring Kang Kang with you. And the rest, we’ll figure it out together.”

Silence from your end, but he was being patient. “Do you mean it?”

“I mean it this time too. It’s been two weeks since we’ve last seen each other and we only met twice overall since back then. I know there is so much going on in your life right now, but I need more of you. And you could need a break from your daily life. So come to me.”

A romantic weekend in Jaemin’s home in Jeonju sounded exactly like what you needed right now. 

So you answered, “Okay, let’s do it.”

You were looking forward to winter.

____

The first family gathering without your husband took place two days later, the weekend before you planned on leaving for your short trip to Jeonju.

You had informed your mother about your separation two weeks after the official decision via a text message, very short and dry. You hadn’t wanted to speak to anyone as to why and when, ignoring all upcoming calls from every family member since the news had spread like wildfire. It had been hard enough the first time already when you had to explain why your husband had moved out. You couldn’t do this all over again.

Not because you were rude. But because you were still hurting and you feared that speaking about it stirred up feelings you had long locked up deep inside your heart. Only now, you were ready to face everyone again. Because half a year later, you were fine again.

Your big family adored Jaehyun so much, especially your grandmother, so you still met her with a heavy heart. To her, Jaehyun had been the perfect grandson-in-law, everything she had ever wished for you, and the feeling had been mutual since you had rarely seen your own relatives act with your grandmother as closely as Jaehyun had.

Whenever you had visited, he had brought her gifts, helped her with the chores and told her stories that made her laugh her heart out. Nobody else had done all this with such sincerity and continuity as Jaehyun, and it broke your heart to know that you had robbed her of this experience forever.

Your grandmother was celebrating her 80th birthday that Saturday, and with her declining health you didn’t know for how many more birthdays she could still be around, so you wanted to spend the remaining time with her, even if it was only you alone.

“How are you doing, sweetheart?”

You were sitting on the couch in her living room while everyone else was still dining, chatting and laughing.

“I think I’m doing quite fine.” 

“Are you sure?”

She reached out her weak, fragile hand and touched your cheek. You started to wonder when your grandmother had aged so much. The woman who had watched over you when you were still a child, had driven you to school, had made you food, and had let you spend the weekends with her. The one who had dried your tears when you had gotten your heart broken in school, who had picked up every single broken piece of you throughout the years.

She couldn’t do all that anymore, but she still could tell how you were feeling just by taking a brief look at you.

You couldn’t deceive your grandmother, so you just shrugged and her hand slipped from your cheek right into yours, squeezing it meekly. 

“It’s alright to still mourn him, sweetheart. If, at some point in your life, you realize that you have made the wrong decision, don’t hesitate for a single second and tell him.”

“What do you mean?”

You didn’t believe in the term ‘the one that got away’ which people would commonly use to describe a lost lover they were still thinking about all the time. You believed that you could grow to love someone just as much as you could grow to stop loving someone. If humans could never move on, how were they supposed to continue living?

“Your grandfather…” Around your grandmother’s thin lips played a mild smile that gave her face back something very youthful. “He was and will always be the love of my life. I married him young and I stayed loyal to him until he passed away. I loved him with my whole heart and he was the only person that had ever evoked such feelings inside of me.”

It tightened around your chest as it reminded you painfully of Jaehyun.

“But there was a time before our marriage,” your grandmother continued, and although the smile around her lips was still present, it wasn’t quite merry anymore, but rather pained, “where we were separated, because we didn’t know whether we should get married or not. There was still so much to see in the world, so many people to get to know. Why would we settle so early? So we decided we wouldn’t.”

“Grandma, you never told me that.” You squeezed her hand back to comfort her.

“I got back with my first ever love from when I was still a teenager. The timing was just right, we both seemed to have evolved so much. Maybe fate wanted us to take this path and meet again much later.”

Now, warmth grew in your heart as it reminded you of Jaemin. 

You had gotten to know each in the second year of high school when he transferred to your school, and the two years that followed was a whirlwind of ups and downs that, looking back at, you wouldn’t have wanted to miss a single second of. After all, it had forged you into the person you were now, and also into the one that had met Jaehyun and had now led you back to Jaemin. 

But you feared your story would separate from your grandmother’s at this point. “How did you then end up with grandpa?”

You now understood why your grandmother was wearing that expression. It wasn’t a fully happy core memory anymore, nor a completely sad one either. It was bittersweet. “It didn’t work out the second time around as well.”

“...May I ask why? You sounded so happy. What happened?” It wasn’t like you wanted to push her boundaries, you were genuinely curious as you secretly found yourself in a similar position now.

“When one day, I returned home, I encountered your grandfather by my house. Apparently, he had waited two days and nights for me and refused to leave unless I talked to him. So I did and he officially proposed. I wanted a week to think about this, and when I, following this event, wanted my first love to make a decision, he couldn’t.”

“He didn't want to marry you?”

“Even after all these years, he didn’t know whether he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. And I wanted a man that knew.” 

You inhaled deeply. “And you never went back to your first love.”

“I never went back to him,” she repeated. “Not because I didn’t love him, but because I knew your grandfather would show up in ways he could never. And that was what I wanted.”

You were asking yourself whether your grandmother told you this story on purpose. But then again, she never did anything without a purpose. She wanted you to learn something from it, and it actually hurt you quite a bit that she was questioning your decision.

“I don’t regret it. Do you regret it, grandma?”

“I don’t regret anything either, sweetheart, absolutely not.” You were worried that she might conceal the truth from you, but from her voice alone and the way her mien changed to the one she was always wearing when she talked lovingly about your grandfather, you were assured that she was being honest and always had been. “Sometimes, I still think about him and wonder where he is, what he’s doing if he’s still al-... And it’s normal. Sometimes, I wonder what if. But if I could turn back time, I wouldn’t have chosen differently.”

Your grandmother’s gaze wandered to the coffee table where you spotted something very familiar for the first time since you had arrived: a pink bouquet consisting of different summer flower arrangements. The one Jaehyun and you usually got together and brought over to your grandmother whenever you visited.

This time, you hadn’t had time to bring anything, and admittedly it had also slipped your mind completely. Yet, the very same bouquet was standing there on the coffee table.

“Jaehyun was here?” you breathed.

She nodded. “This morning.”

You weren't surprised. This was typical of Jaehyun. He always thought about others first, never missing an event, always reliant and considerate. With your own mind always wandering, you had very much relied on him and he had never complained about taking matters into his own hands.

“Grandma, I-” You didn’t know why your heart suddenly felt so heavy.

“I’m not telling you what to do, sweetheart. I’m just wondering if nowadays, before a couple decides to divorce, they have already given everything. There is a reason you were married in the first place. That’s all. That is something you should always think of.”

Yes, you had given everything, every day and minute of your marriage. 

When Jaehyun had stayed for work longer, then worked during the weekends and then rarely came home anymore. When you had started to feel lonely, not appreciated and unheard of your feelings. When, every time you had still seen each other, every minor thing led to an argument where one of you needed to leave the house. 

You had tried, over and over again. 

“I have given it my all, grandma. I have.”

“If you can confidently say that, then move on, sweetheart.”

____

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

You followed Jaehyun into his new apartment, Kang Kang passing by you. He was jumping up and down, circling around Jaehyun like the happy labrador he was. As you had figured out, there were no dogs allowed in Jaemin’s apartment, so you had asked Jaehyun to take care of him this specific weekend.

You wondered whether it was selfish of you and quickly came to the conclusion that yes, it was, and cruel on top of that too. That was why you hid the truth from your soon-to-be ex-husband and had told him you had work in Jeonju this weekend and no other family could take Kang Kang. At least the latter was the truth as you had earnestly tried it everywhere before, but to no avail.

At least, you knew Kang Kang was in good hands, and he hadn’t seen his human dad in so long either. You put your dog’s belongings in the living room, which consisted of his bed, a few toys, his bowls and other necessities.

“Don’t you have to work this weekend, though?” you asked Jaehyun politely. 

You still didn’t know how to behave in front of him whenever you had to interact. This was actually the third time you met since your official separation half a year ago with the first two being the time he had to pack his stuff and move out completely. How did one interact with the person you were soon to be called ex-husband?

You were nervous and anxious, but also somehow happy to see him, because you hadn’t seen each other in three months. Jaehyun was still Jaehyun, he hadn’t changed. You wondered whether he was dating someone new now too, though.

“I actually requested time off this weekend when I knew Kang Kang would come,” he answered almost nonchalantly. “Do you want something to drink? I’m sorry, I only have water.”

You weren’t sure whether the water would help the lump that had built in your throat to disappear, so you declined. And just like that, Jaehyun had requested an entire weekend off when you had had begged him in the past to do so over and over again. You were hurt, once again, and it showed all over your face. 

“I’ve started a new job, actually,” he quickly explained, but you didn’t know whether it would make it all better, truth to be told. “Less salary, but since I’m living alone now, it’s fine. They still pay well enough and I have more time to myself.”

You deadpanned, “Good for you.”

It shouldn’t bother you anymore, it really shouldn’t. But you couldn’t shake off the fact that Jaehyun had changed his work and lifestyle almost so easily right after separating from you when he hadn’t been able to do exactly that while still with you. What had hindered him all this time?

Jaehyun, sensing already where this conversation would lead to since you had been there over and over again in the past, quickly changed the topic. “How is your grandma?” 

You unpacked Kang Kang’s stuff while he arranged the bed for him where he thought your dog would like it. 

“Quit playing, I know you visited her.”

He let out a shy laugh. “Did she tell you? I purposely told her not to.”

“She didn’t have to, really. I saw the flowers and knew immediately.”

You turned around to him, and even from the side, while he was kneeling down and petted Kang Kang, you perceived how shy he had gotten as his ears had turned slightly red. 

“I was worried about her since she hasn’t been feeling well these past months. So I wanted to check up on her. I didn’t want to break tradition, you know. Yet.”

“I know,” you admitted and quietly added, “Thank you for that.”

“I hope she’ll get better soon.”

He shifted in your direction and smiled, and this reaction made you longing for easier times where you didn't have to deal with the fact that this was the last time he had seen your grandmother.

Had you been too greedy, wanting too much that he hadn’t been willing to or couldn’t give yet? Had you pressured him too much and driven him away instead? Should you have been more patient with him and supported him, even though you hadn’t condoned any of his actions? Had it only been a rough patch and you would have come over it by now? 

Those were questions to which you would probably never get an answer. It was all too late now anyway. The papers were signed from your side.

“Jaehyun…” you whispered and wondered whether he had heard it as he suddenly interrupted you with,

“Ah, I’m sorry but you have to leave now.” He arose from the crouch and scratched the back of his head. “I actually have a visitor over the weekend and she’ll arrive soon.”

“She…?”

He nodded with a hint of reluctance.

You couldn’t explain why this revelation hurt almost just as much as the day Jaehyun had opened up about wanting a divorce. You were seeing someone else too, probably for longer than him, but you didn’t want him to be dating anyone else, giving her everything you had been asking of him for so long. 

You should be happy for him to have finally changed and wanting to make it better with the next woman he would grow to love. Yet, all you could think about was that he had never been able to give it to you.

You were so selfish.

“Okay,” you said breathlessly and grabbed your purse, moving to the entrance door. 

“Hey.” You heard footsteps, and before you could grab the handle, Jaehyun was already holding you back by your arm. “I’ve known you for too long to unsee the fact that you’re upset. And let me tell you, I understand why you’re angry.”

You lowered your head so that he couldn’t read your exact expression. But he didn’t need to. He never needed to. To him, you had always been an open book. “It doesn’t matter anymore, Jaehyun…”

“You’re probably asking yourself why I couldn’t change my job to have more time for you too. Just like I’m asking myself why you couldn’t have been more independent and wouldn’t rely on me only. We’ve both come quite a way, haven't we?”

You took credit for the not independent enough part. After all, since freshman year, you’ve only had Jaehyun. He had been the center of your life, of your universe, and this view had shifted into a toxic direction you never wanted to look into again. You truly had turned codependent at some point, you owed that part. 

All that was left to do was not letting these negative traits affect your new relationships. That was a promise you didn’t only need to make to yourselves, but to your new partner, too.

“Do you think… Do you think we could have reached this point too if we had stayed together? This is what we have wanted, right?”

After all, it didn’t matter anymore. But you really wanted to hear this opinion, whether he thought the same. 

He admitted, “I don’t think we could have evolved like that if we had stayed together.”

“I think so too.” You shrugged off his grip and pulled down the door handle. 

“If you ever need something… I’m always here, okay? Call me, text me, no matter how late, I don’t care. I will always be here for you.”

After all, he was still so good, fair and bright.

It was unfair that you couldn’t offer the same kindness in return. Envy never looked good on anyone.

You switched to a cold business-tone. “My lawyer told me you received the papers already.”

“I did yesterday. I’ll sign them this weekend and pass them on on Monday.”

“See you on Sunday then when I come to pick up Kang Kang.”

And then, you left without another word.

____

“I have a gig tonight, but don’t worry, we can drop off your things first and head right there,” Jaemin declared. “I already told them to start the soundcheck without me.”

“Gig?” Jaemin had picked you up with his car from the train station and you were currently on your way to his house. “I thought we were going to spend the whole weekend… you know, at your place.”

“We will, we will!” he repeated and put his hand on your thigh while the other was still holding onto the steering wheel. “Don’t worry about that. It’s only tonight. Besides… you’ll get to know all my friends and bandmates too, so that’s gonna be fun!”

You should actually be excited about getting involved with his life right off the bat, but you couldn’t help but to feel more anxious about meeting new people when all you wanted to do was to spend a cozy weekend at Jaemin’s place, just the two of you. You wanted to take your sweet time, learning about each other, and only each other, again.

Jaemin had always been an extrovert while you were the complete opposite, and in all these years, this fact hadn’t seemed to have changed at all - just like him always forgetting how hard it was for you to come out of your shell. But you decided that you weren’t going to be hurt over this and see it as a compliment to get introduced to his friends and lifestyle so short into the relationship.

Perhaps, this was also a sign for you to break out of your shell that had only hardened throughout the years you had spent with Jaehyun as he was very similar to you. You couldn’t always live that way and accepted Jaemin offering to show you a new lifestyle.

“I’m looking forward to it!” you exclaimed and shifted your head back to the street, swallowing your anxiety and just hoping it wouldn’t resurface.

____

But it did later that night when you stood by the bar in that very small club, the crowd dancing and singing along to tunes you had never heard before, and you suddenly felt so alone and lost. 

Back in the days, Jaemin had also been in a band, just one of many self-formed ones in school, but his band had always been the most popular, because, well, he himself was so popular. And even now, he was remaining true to his image, flirting with the crowd through his mimicry and gestic, radiating a charisma that would have all girls on their knees in front of him if only he asked.

Since he was with you now though, you felt proud and a bit haughty that he was still so popular and you had him all to yourself. But also, on the other hand, you were questioning if the negative feelings from your teen years would resurface…

The irritation when he hadn’t looked at you even once during his performances. The doubts when he had always winked at another girl during his solos. The jealousy when he had eventually talked to said girls after his performances, treating you like air.

But this Jaemin… he was different. Just when he finished and you viciously feared that it all would be repeated again, he passed by the entire crowd, not sparing his female fans even a single glance, and walked straight up to you.

“How was I?” he asked with a beam and you fell happily into his arms.

“Amazing!”

He laughed. “I’m so happy you liked it! Here, let me introduce you to my bandmates.”

So many new faces, but you were feeling welcomed from the very first moment on. There was no need to be anxious about feeling left out and to be nervous about nobody wanting to talk to you. You were having so much fun and everyone wanted to talk to you, wanting to know more about Jaemin’s girlfriend.

You hadn’t known he had already introduced you as such and felt very honored.

“Let’s have a toast!” Jaemin then raised up his shot.

“This will be our fourth toast!” a band member pointed out. “What do we still have to celebrate?”

You felt Jaemin’s strong arm around your shoulder, claiming you in front of all his friends and his entire band. “We’re celebrating her divorce. I’ve waited many years for her to separate from her husband, and now I can have her all to myself, for my entire life!”

You blushed at his loud confession. That didn’t seem like your Jaemin who you had known for so long at all. He had always been openly flirty and charming, but love confessions were never really his thing. Until now, apparently.

“So you want to marry her and spend the rest of her life with her?” someone teased. “What happened to Jaemin and when do we get him back?”

You quickly shook your head and waved aside. “Please, he’s only joking!”

“I’m quite offended you think I’m joking!” Jaemin objected and turned to you to make the conversation more private. “I mean it. We will spend the rest of our lives together. No matter where.”

This had suddenly turned into such an intimate moment, and all of his band mates sensed it which was why they pretended to be occupied with each other.

“You can’t say things like that so casually here!” you chided. “You’re probably drunk.”

“I’m actually quite sober and can think straight, and these thoughts currently always lead me to one desire: I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I don��t care if you marry me or not, I just want you to always be with me. We will make it work. With your job, your dog, and your family. Even if it means I will have to come to you and live in the capital.”

“The Jaemin back then wouldn’t have uttered these words at all. He was always talking about going to America, getting famous with his music…”

“Well, I can still go to America. But with you. And one day, when you decide that you’re ready, even if we’re old and grey, we can get married.”

He then kissed you, and you dared to daydream just a little bit. In one possible future, you actually saw yourself watching your husband, Jaemin, standing on the stage of a big stadium in America while the crowd cheered, but he only had eyes for you who stood in the first row. 

One faraway possible future, you didn’t dare to venture in further, because in this one, you were still married and it would take so, so much time until you could actually think of accepting a proposal ever again.

Forgotten was the toast still, and you and Jaemin called it an early night. You were surprised, because back in the days, he would have partied until the sun went up, and longer.

“I want to spend the remaining time with you,” he only said and led you out of the venue by your hand.

Maybe, just like you and Jaehyun, Jaemin had evolved too - to the man you had always needed him to be.

____

The next morning, it had started snowing.

The blanket slipped from your naked shoulder when you arose, the mattress giving in under you as a result of you bracing your hands against the surface. Jaemin was still sleeping soundly next to you. Of course, because a brief look at your phone told you that it was only 7am on a saturday.

Yet, you didn’t want to miss this beautiful, quiet hour and slipped out of the bed. Throwing on Jaemin’s t-shirt from the night before, you walked to the big window that offered a panoramic view of the landscape. 

There were only a handful of high rise buildings in his city and no skyscrapers were seen far and wide. The horizon was a bit cloudy, but the beautiful landscape was still recognizable through the falling snow. 

You had been to Jaemin’s hometown only once when you were together as teenagers. He had been sent to Seoul to attend a better school and eventually university, but had moved back after his degree.

You loved it here, it was the entire opposite of the bustling and ever lively capital. But living here, you wondered, would you get bored eventually? It was quite the contrary to your personality, but you had always enjoyed your environment being fast and never sleeping while you stood still. It gave you the feeling of never being alone while actually being alone.

A kiss on the back of your neck let you shudder, but in a good way. You giggled and turned around to Jaemin who had his arms wrapped around you now. His muscles were well-built and tense in your grip.

“Look Jaemin, it’s snowing!” you pointed out. “Isn’t it beautiful?”

“Mhhmm,” he muttered, but he didn’t look. “I know a more beautiful view, and it’s also in front of me.”

His voice sounded so sexy when he had just woken up. He embraced you tighter and kissed your temple. “You’re so charming as always.”

Jaemin chuckled. “Why are you up so early already?” he then asked you and gently rocked you in his arms. “You can still sleep.”

“I know, it’s just…” You shrugged. “I want to spend as much time with you here as possible.”

“Oh, does that mean I have to get up now too?” he seemingly wailed. “But what if I don’t want to get out of bed yet? Is there something we can do in bed together?” 

You didn’t need to be told twice, but let yourself get carried, with both of your legs hooked around his waist, back to the bed. Letting out a laugh, Jaemin threw you onto the mattress and then crawled on top of you. He was still naked from last night, his muscles flexing nicely in the dim morning light.

You stretched out your arms and placed them around his neck. Gently, you pulled him close to you so that your nose tips touched, and smiled. You wanted to stop time right here and now, and bathe in this intimate moment for a while longer.

Jaemin didn’t know the words ‘enjoy’ and ‘patience’ though as not much later, sweat droplets started to collect on his chest, making his skin glisten with every shift that he performed on top of you. Your breathing came in hitches and caught every time he pushed himself deeper into you.

“You like that?” he whispered into your ear, causing goose bumps to spread all along your neck.

“I lot…” A gasp passed your lips when his wet tongue licked your earlobe.

It had slipped your mind when you had last felt this deeply satisfied. What Jaemin was doing right now even topped the events from last night when you had returned to his apartment, even though you had thought that it was impossible to top that.

You stretched out your legs and placed them around Jaemin’s waist, pushing your hips up. 

“Hm?” He raised his head and locked eyes with you, revealing a sneaky smile that was accompanied by a cocked brow to emphasize his feigned surprise. “What’s that? You’re impatient already?”

“It’s you,” you said. “I just can’t get enough.”

Jaemin lowered his head again and started sucking on the side of your neck. You were sure you would be able to see a few faint bruises later on, but it was the time to wear scarves anyway and you wanted him to mark you in every way possible. 

Your fingers entangled in his soft hair that then slipped through the gaps between them, and after a few bypassing moments of absolute stillness from his side where you slowly grew even more impatient, Jaemin started to move inside of you again. 

When you were a teenager, you had lost your virginity to Jaemin after a few months of dating. He hadn’t been as insecure, nervous and awkward as you, because of course, the most popular boy from the band had already gained experience. And it seemed like he hadn’t lacked keeping to do so.

Or how else did he know to slip out with only the tip remaining so that you could quickly catch your breath, just to thrust back inside you with full force again? You couldn’t help but scream every time he penetrated that sweet spot, and he made sure to hit with every single motion.

The sheets grew wet under you as you were sweating so much, and in the peripheral of your blurry vision, you noticed that it had turned a bit lighter already in the apartment. God, for how long had this been going on, and how much more could you take?

You were already calling out, “Jaemin, Jaemin, Jaemin!”, mixed with dry screams that only grew more hoarsely, but you couldn’t seem to reach the anticipated release. Whenever you faced him, you only encountered his wicked, charming grin, and were assured that release was nowhere near yet.

Time and space blurred together for you and your mouth hung open, longing for air as he ripped you off it with his thrusts, again and again. The neverending string of a nearing orgasm was always graspable, but remained out of reach as each time, Jaemin took a brief pause by halting his motions and never pulling out entirely. 

“Please…”

You didn’t know why he was doing that or where he had even learned to be this skilful to drag it out for so long, and truth to be told, you also didn’t want to know. At this point, you were only worried that he was punishing you on purpose, for dumping him back in the days, and for letting him wait for so long. Fair enough, you accepted this kind of punishment over anything else. 

Jaemin drew his face close and licked over your dry lips. “I want to hear you beg.”

You didn’t care anymore at this point. You pressed him close to you, drawing your thighs even tighter around him. “Please, Jaemin!”

“Louder.” A low growl into your ear. But eventually, you felt him moving again.

“Please, Jaemin. PLEASE!”

“Louder!” he summoned.

“JAEMIN, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, I BEG YOU, PLEASE!”

The next moment, it felt like a wave came crashing down over you after trying to swim away from it all this time. It only took Jaemin two more skilled thrusts at the right angle until you let out a long-lasting scream that was on the brink of waking all the neighbors up, but you didn’t care.

You felt your insides clenching around him, your legs shaking in the aftermath while your fingers simultaneously dig deep into his skin as though you were holding onto a lifeline, nails grazing along his back and leaving long marks that would also be visible for quite a time.

Jaemin followed almost directly after you. He was gracious and quiet about it, but you knew him well enough to see that he was still enjoying it a little too much as he revealed himself by a low whimper that he tried to hide in the side of your neck, followed by a long sigh. His arms were shaking as he lost all strength and limply fell on top of you.

Your fingers were still on the back of his head, slowly stroking and comforting him while he was coming down from his heights. Your sweaty chest heaved up and down with Jaemin’s head on top of it.

For a moment, it was silent, only your regular breathing rhythms audible. 

In that moment, you wondered when you had last felt this happy.

____

“Are you with Jaemin this weekend?” 

Jaehyun’s anger was palpable through the phone. You moved away from the queue, signaling Jaemin that you had to take this call while he was lining up to buy you octopus skewers.

“Uh… I-”

Your still-husband had caught you red-handed and you didn’t know what to answer, because you hadn’t been prepared for this kind of situation. Only now, you realized that it would have been better to not have picked up the call at all when you had seen his name popping up on the display - ‘hubby’ and a heart. You still hadn’t brought yourself to change it to his government name.

“Answer me,” he demanded when your stuttering slowly grew uncomfortable and you settled for a quiet corner to talk to him.

“Jaehyun…”

“Someone sent me a video of his stories from last night and you were in it. I should have known the first thing you’d do would be running to him.”

How was that possible? You didn’t have mutual friends anymore from back then who would have cared enough as all contact had started to dwindle down at some point. And as far as you knew, these two had each other blocked everywhere. Unless they didn’t anymore and Jaehyun was lying to cover up that he had been digging.

“Jaehyun, that’s not fair at all.”

You heard a snort, followed by dead silence, but he didn’t hang up. “When did you want to tell me you were spending the weekend with my best friend?”

Dead silence again, but this time from your side of the line. Eventually, you reproached, “You haven’t been best friends for four years.”

“You told me you weren’t in contact anymore since he tried to creep back into your life even shortly after our marriage and I had to nearly physically fight him when he suddenly stood in front of our door.”

“We weren’t in contact!” you defended yourself. “But he had gotten wind of our separation and then hit me up again. Initially, it was just small talk, how I was doing and dealing with the situation. This is only the third time we've seen each other ever since. I really wasn’t in contact with him all this time, Jaehyun.”

“You never blocked his number or his socials as you had promised or otherwise, how could he have reached you?”

“I did! I told you I did, and I immediately did so back then! He contacted me from another number as he had changed his phone contract. I’ve never lied to you throughout our entire marriage! Don’t doubt me now just for me to fit your narrative, Jaehyun.”

“Hm.” He always let out this sound when he was at a loss for words, but didn’t want to drop the topic just yet. “I see.”

Somewhere in the background you heard Kang Kang and suddenly felt so guilty. Yet, you shrugged it off. You were too happy to get dragged down by his double standards right now. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you the truth about why I wanted to go to Jeonju. But honestly, Jaehyun, you also have a female over this weekend, don’t you?”

“I told you straight-forwardly. Also, she’s not an ex or your best friend, and certainly not my first love.”

He was right. The way you had handled this situation was certainly not pretty or fair at all. Why hadn’t you told him the moment you asked him to take care of Kang Kang? 

Perhaps, because Jaemin had always been a threat to your relationship, long before your marriage and after it too. And it had always been your fault, even though you had complied with Jaehyun's requests about blocking and deleting him.

Somehow though, whenever Jaemin wanted to find you, he always did. And he was lucky to now have found you at a time where you had wanted to be found as well.

“Jaehyun…”

He let out a long breather and you imagined him shaking his head at this very moment. “I’m sorry, I don’t even know why I’m calling. I just thought… It’s not even my right anymore to know who you’re with and what you’re doing, but… really, him out of all people?”

“Jaehyun…”

He hadn’t been in Jaemin’s band, but in the same class. You had always seen him around, but never interacted as you had rarely hung out with Jaemin’s friends. He hadn’t wanted that. And when you had finally had enough of his shenanigans after suffering in your on-off relationship for two years, you moved on in university - with your ex’s best friend who had happened to be the complete opposite, and everything you’d ever asked for.

In the beginning, you had tried to keep it a secret, but eventually came clean with Jaemin after a few months, who had reacted in a very mature way. Or so you had thought. You didn’t want to be friends with him as you rarely saw him anyway, but you let them be friends. Eventually, you warmed up to this new dynamic as Jaemin had once been a huge part of your life too. Nothing had seemed weird at first and Jaemin seemingly was okay with it. 

Until it all went downhill.

“Do you remember the day you told him we were engaged?” Jaehyun then asked.

Of course you remembered. Jaemin hadn’t let his true emotions slip, he hadn’t thrown a tantrum, he hadn’t said anything more than,

“Good luck. But you won’t be married for too long, because she’ll be mine again.”

And ever since then, best friends Jaehyun and Jaemin had never spoken a word to each other again.

It was eerie and sad how this prediction had eventually turned out to be true.

“I chose you, because you are kind, dedicated and warm, Jaehyun. Jaemin was fickle, unreliable and unfaithful, yes, but we were almost still kids! He’s changed.”

“That’s what you also said when I was in the army and he tried to test the waters with you again. That he’s changed, when you went back to him shortly. And look how that ended.”

“Are you bringing this up again? We were never involved in that sense again! You were in the boot camp and could only text me for one hour on the weekend, I felt lonely and we wanted to meet up as friends! I was young and stupid, how many times do you still want to hear it?”

“... And he never turned up.”

You bit into your lower lip. If you didn’t know it better, Jaehyun was hurt and jealous. But there was seriously no room for him to feel this way anymore. You were separated and it was only a matter of days until it was official. You didn’t even need to talk to him right now, but somehow, you also couldn’t bring yourself to just hang up.

“This time, he did turn up. Among many other things.” 

Only then did you realize that tears were pricking behind your eyes. In your peripheral, you could watch Jaemin ordering the skewers already, he was not supposed to see you cry.

“And you know that from a day of spending with him?”

“You know, I don’t have to justify myself in front of you, Jaehyun.”

‘If you still love me, then say it out loud!’ that was what you wanted to tell him. You wanted to grab him by his shoulders, shake him and ask him why he hadn’t told you so earlier. Why Jaemin had to come in between you again for him to finally open his mouth. 

At the other side of the line, it had suddenly turned quiet. 

“Are you sure about it?” you whispered into your phone. “About the divorce.”

“What is this about?” Jaehyun almost seemed angry now. “We’ve talked about it over and over again. This is for the best.”

“Then stop bothering me!”

Finally, you hung up and took a deep breather. Wiping a tear from your cheek with the back of your hand, you turned your head against the sky. It was still snowing, and the flakes melted immediately on your hot cheeks.

“Everything alright?” Jaemin asked when he had reached you. “Did something happen?”

You shook your head and accepted the skewer he was holding out to you. “No, nothing. Let’s go.”

____

Jaemin rolled his head back, his mouth falling agape.

“Yes, just like that.”

You felt his fingertips grazing over the back of your head, and then, with a firm tug, he had your hair between his fingers, tightly pulling on it. You swallowed a pained squeal, but the discomfort passed quickly as you realized it even added up to the sensation of sucking Jaemin off.

You let it slip past your mouth, only trapping the upper part between your lips, and then halted. With the tip of your tongue, you pressed down into the slit where you already tasted his sticky precum. You smiled when you heard him groan.

This time though, Jaemin didn’t let you get away with teasing him so easily. He pushed your head down his length, and as you didn’t have time to prepare yourself for this sudden action, you almost choked at him hitting the back of your throat. 

You weren’t trained in deep throating at all, the only time you had tried, you had wanted to gag so badly. Even now, it wasn’t really a cakewalk for you to suppress the reflex. But as you turned your gaze up and caught Jaemin stretched out gloriously on the couch, enjoying it with angelic moans, you gladly complied, no matter the circumstances.

Jaemin set the rhythm with his fingers still entwined in your hair. He pulled on your strands and lifted your head up his length just to slam you all the way down again until you nearly met his pelvis with your lips. It took you three tries to get rid of the gag reflex and another two to adjust to this submissive act.

“Now, suck it.”

You happily did so as it meant having a break from the excessive motions earlier, and only dedicated yourself to the upper half, sucking him off like a lollipop. You also used your tongue with which you teased him again by letting it glide over the smoothest part, just passing the frenulum. The sound he let out as a result was the loudest you had ever heard pass his lips during an intimate act.

“What was that?” he asked almost breathlessly, and looked down at you.

“You like it?” you wanted to know shyly.

“I love it!” he exclaimed and laughed. “Do it again!”

You felt Jaemin releasing himself into your mouth without a warning not much later, though you felt it pumping past your circled lips. Patiently, you waited until he was done and only let him slip out of your mouth then, falling back into a crouch and wiping over your stained mouth.

With a smirk, Jaemin patted the top of your head, then dropped his hand and angled your chin with his index finger. You faced each other, and you observed his expression changing.

“Now, your turn?” he asked with a bit of danger in his voice.

You swallowed, but didn’t hold him back. You were in for a wild ride.

That was until Jaemin’s phone rang and he needed to interrupt your act. You wanted him to ignore it, but he had already told you beforehand that he was expecting an important call. Just talk about timing…

You wondered what it could be about when you arose after Jaemin had left the room to go to another and take the call. It was kind of a long conversation as you only remembered how you went on to lie in bed, mindlessly scrolling through your phone and losing track of time. The next moment, when Jaemin came out again, it was already dark.

You were standing by the window now, the snow still hadn’t stopped falling. As a matter of fact, it was snowing even harder, and you wondered whether by tomorrow morning, the snow would have put a white blanket over the whole country.

“What happened?” you asked, unsure what to read out of Jaemin’s undefined expression.

That was until he broke out into a beam, closed the short distance between you and swept you off your feet. He had his hands placed under your ribs and swung you around with your feet dangling above the floor. 

You laughed and asked, after he had placed you down again, “Will you tell me what happened now?”

“Great news!” Jaemin declared with your hands remaining in his. “That was a producer who’s called me. I’ve been sending demos to different companies for years now, and finally this one is interested in my music! The producer wants to meet me tomorrow, isn’t it great?!”

“Oh, Jaemin! That’s amazing to hear!”

“I know, right?I have to prepare a few things for tomorrow since I have to drive to Gwangju where the company is located, do you mind?” He suddenly drew his brows together and looked very concerned. “I know we had dinner plans, but…”

You immediately shook your head. Of course, disappointment sank into your stomach as you had especially looked forward to this fancy dinner with him. It was your last night together as you were supposed to go home the next day, but another part, a bigger part, didn’t want to be so selfish. She knew that music had always been Jaemin’s dream, and if he could make it his main occupation, who were you to stop him?

“I’m gonna make up for it!” he immediately apologized, led your hand to his mouth and kissed your knuckles. “Tomorrow, fancy brunch or lunch before you leave?”

You nodded, very well aware of the fact that knowing Jaemin for the passionate man that he was, neither brunch or lunch would take place tomorrow. Somehow, it was all high school again, but you were more mature now and there was no room for your own, selfish needs.

Jaemin let go of you and dedicated himself to his music station where he gathered together a few documents. “Imagine,” he then summoned, “if it’s really going to work out and I am really going to be big with my band, we could play so many shows or even do a tour - maybe internationally too! And I would take you with me of course! To America!”

“Jaemin, I have a dog to take care of and a job I’m really dedicated to, you know that. I cannot be on the road for months.” Had he forgotten the words from last night where he had offered to move to the capital for you? Had your wants been overshadowed by his daydreams once again like back in the days?

“Oh yeah…” He scratched the back of his head, but then beamed again. “Don’t worry, we’ll find a solution!”

Again, he was proposing something so far off into the future without asking what you wanted. Aside from the fact that you liked living a domestic life with a stable job and a routine, you didn’t want to be separated from your dog. Or your family, especially your grandmother yet.

And that was what Jaemin didn’t get… again. Just like the fact that you couldn’t think of another marriage already when you were still with one foot inside your current one.

He was impulsive, dreamy and so demanding. But this was what you had wanted, right? Someone to take things into his own hands and consider you in his future, whether you fit in or not.

“Yes, we’ll find a solution,” you eventually replied as he was expecting an answer. And who knew, perhaps you would really find one.

Jaemin turned back to this work and rambled on about how great of a life you two would have together.

Would you, though?

Your current life as it was, was already perfect for you. Just the man in it hadn’t been.

____

With shaking hands, you swiped over your phone screen until, from your blurry vision, you finally saw your husband’s name pop up. Hubby and a heart next to it. You still hadn’t changed it, and for now, you were glad for that as it had made finding his contact easier.

It was only 7am on a sunday, but you knew Jaehyun would pick up no matter how early or late, no matter what, regardless of your dispute from the day before. He had promised.

“Grandmother is in the hospital,” you cried into the phone the moment the ringing stopped. “And I- I can’t go back. I-I don’t have a car and I’m in J-Jeonju, the trains are not running because of the heavy snowfall and I don’t know how to get back, how to get to my grandmother. Jaehyun… C-can you-”

It was rustling on the other line and from your peripheral, you could see Jaemin watching you with a displeased face. 

No questions asked. Jaehyun’s voice was still so deep and raspy as you had just woken him up, but his head was as clear as ever. “Send me the address, I’ll take the car and come pick you up.”

“Th-there is snow everywhere! It’ll probably take hours.”

He didn’t ask why Jaemin wouldn’t drive you or why Jaehyun himself should do this even though you were separated. At this moment, none of this mattered except the fact that he needed to bring you to your grandmother. 

“I don’t care.” There was some noise on his end of the line, and you could have sworn you also heard a female whispering something, but none of this mattered. “I’ll get going now and will text you the estimated arrival time.”

He didn’t care about the weather, the amounts of snow blocking the streets, whether he would even get through the traffic, none of this mattered.

“Thank you,” you whispered through your sobs.

It was like he still wanted to say something, but only brought himself to end the call with, “See you.”

Jaemin waited for you to finish typing the address for Jaehyun first before he spoke up. “I wish I could change things.”

“You can!” you yelled at him, having suppressed your anger for an hour already.

At 6am, you had been unexpectedly awakened by a call from your mother that held unfortunate news you never wished upon anyone to ever receive: Your grandmother was in the hospital as she had fallen in the bathroom that night and had been unconscious for a few hours before she could call anyone for help.

And Jaemin’s reaction? 

He fell into silence again.

“You can change things, but you don’t want to,” you repeated through tears and fled out of the bed as you couldn’t physically bear being close to him anymore.

“That’s not it…” His feeble attempts to defend himself were all to no avail as expected. “It’s just a once in a lifetime chance, if I need to cancel, I might not be able to…”

“My grandmother can also live just this lifetime! I only have her for one lifetime,” you hissed, not sparing him a single glance as you started to throw your belongings into your bag. “She’s fighting for her life in the hospital and you think your music appointment is more important than driving me there? It’s only in the evening, and you’re worried you won’t make it back to your appointment on time, because of the snow?”

“We called your parents and the hospital already.” His voice got louder, more determined now, though it was nothing compared to yours. “She’s fine. You can probably take the train by midday, maybe even forenoon, anyway. I’m just being realistic.”

“You just don’t get it, don’t you? Probably because no one has ever been this important to you.”

The moment you had spoken the words out loud, you already regretted it, but an apology refused to pass your lips as Jaemin only said,

“You are this important to me.”

“I don’t believe you as you cannot even do this for me.”

His music was more important, his career and everything connected to it. It would always, always come first, and this was something that was never going to change, and had never changed, you saw it clearly now. 

Your relationship in your adulthood was merely a projection of what it had already been in high school.

Nothing had changed.

____

Jaehyun picked you up from a nearby café four hours later. 

You had directly left Jaemin’s apartment the moment you had gathered all your belongings and hadn’t looked back - neither had he. He hadn’t changed his mind about the situation and he hadn’t tried to hold you back, no matter how much you had wished for it. 

You were standing in front of the café, still in your joggers and with tousled hair, freezing to your bones as the snow touched your naked ankles, but at least Jaehyun was here, regardless of the weather, his appointments and the time.

He was here.

He had always been here. 

You had just been too blind to see it.

The moment he opened the car door at your side, you broke out into tears again, unable to move, and it caused him to actually get out of the car himself to then approach you. 

Suddenly, it got so warm around you despite the weather, and even with your teary eyes closed you realized that Jaehyun had pulled you into an embrace. With his slender fingers, he brushed over the back of your head in a comforting gesture as you sobbed into his jacket.

“Your grandmother will be fine,” he whispered into your hair, unaware of the fact that you were currently not crying over your grandmother anymore, but over the fact that he was here regardless of how ridiculous it might sound.

He had made it through the snow chaos and traffic just to bring you home safely. If this wasn’t what your marriage vows had been about, then what was? Was that what your grandmother had been talking about?

You had two hours to think about it as you made your way back to the capital. There were many things you wanted to ask Jaehyun. How serious it was with that woman, if she was mad he had suddenly left her for his soon-to-be ex-wife and if he himself was mad that he was here now. But first and foremost…

“Why did you come?”

“I told you, you could always call me. No matter how late… or early in this case, I’ll always be there. Despite that, I care about your grandmother and your entire family, too. For a large part of my life, they were also my family.”

“They will always be, Jaehyun.”

“I know.”

His gaze was too focused on the street ahead of you as though it was taking him everything in his might to just keep his eyes averted from you. The majority of the snow had been cleared from the streets already so that cars could drive without many obstacles again. 

“Are you sure about it?” you repeated from your disrupted phone call the day before. “Are you sure about the divorce?”

“Why does it matter?” he asked back strictly. “Haven’t you moved on with my former best friend already, this time for good, because he’s changed so much?”

“That’s not an answer, Jaehyun.”

You had no reason to feel so attacked, but it still hurt, because he was wrong, even though Jaehyun didn’t know it yet. Jaemin hadn’t changed at all, and you were too proud to admit it. Perhaps though, you had overreacted as well. Perhaps, everything would have gone so well if only you had been calmer and more rational, and had actually listened to Jaemin. Perhaps, you had done Jaemin so wrong. 

But Jaehyun was now in the car, driving you back home, and not Jaemin, right? Jaehyun was here, and not Jaemin.

“On the way to Jeonju,” he started, “I had a few hours to think about everything. Have we given it all? Was a divorce really our last solution? What could I have done differently, what could you have differently for us to avoid this outcome. And I just… couldn’t come up with an answer. 

“Which means, on the contrary, perhaps a divorce was not a solution either,” you concluded. “But we’ve lived in separation for half a year at that point, Jaehyun. And we were fine with it. We’ve had many talks, so why are we here, ripping open this wound again? What’s the purpose? I just can’t wrap my head around the fact that it only took one weekend for us to doubt this decision.”

“Perhaps, there is none,” he said, and shrugged. “Perhaps, it’s all about what makes us happy, after all. And finding out you lied to me and spent the weekend with him, didn’t make me happy at all.”

Now that he was so honest with you, you could be honest with him too. “I also wasn’t happy when you told me you would get a female visitor this weekend.”

A long pause followed the conversation before you confessed,

“But you picking up the phone and being here with me now, makes me really happy.”

“Yeah,” he agreed quietly, “I’m also happy you called me and didn’t rely on him.”

He didn’t ask what exactly had happened with Jaemin, and you also didn’t ask him about the other woman when you arrived at his empty home much later that day to pick up your dog after having visited your grandmother together first. 

She didn’t get hurt except for a bruise by her hip and would be fine after being taken care of in the hospital for a few days. You visited her every day for one week straight, but on neither of these days did you see Jaehyun or Jaemin.

The fact that you were disappointed would be an understatement, but you were too caught up with everything going on at this point that you couldn't waste too many unnecessary thoughts in their behaviors.

____

A week later, you and your mother returned home with your grandma. Despite her refusing your offer, you had still insisted on taking one week off from work and living with her, just in case something could happen again and until she regained her health. 

Nevertheless, you as a family had all agreed on hiring a caretaker that would look after her half a day and who would start right after your week off with her. After a few attempted protests from your grandma’s side though, she had eventually given in as well.

“Where’s all the food I requested?” you asked in astonishment as you opened shelf after shelf in your grandmother’s kitchen, but each of them you found empty. “Didn’t father and uncle do grocery shopping? I made an entire list for them and they knew she’d return today.”

“Oh, they were busy last night,” your mother explained after she had taken your grandmother to her bedroom. “They’ll do it later today.”

You rolled your eyes as you tried to fight the wave of reproach against your family. “Busy with watching football all night long probably. What did they think would happen when we came back home with grandmother? There are no ingredients to make food for her and when I looked into the bathroom, she had also run out of toilet paper. What were they thin-”

“Honey…” Your mom placed her hands on your shoulders to calm you down, but somehow, her not getting as heated up as you was making you even more disappointed. Were you the only one who cared? “Please be reassured that everything is going to be fine.”

“How?” you asked back, a tinge of anger in your voice. “We come back and the sheets are not washed, we have nothing we can make food of for her and we cannot even-”

Your mom exhaled deeply as she tried to convince you again, “Let’s just order the most important necessities online, okay? Then your father and uncle will bring the rest later today, it’s really not a big deal.”

“Sweetheart, will you come here, please?” you heard your grandmother suddenly disrupt your conversation. 

You let out a long sigh, threw another glare at your mom and then left for the bedroom.

“I’m sorry, grandma,” you apologized as you popped into her bedroom with your head first. “I will go to the store right now to bring you the necessities. You don’t need to worry about this, please relax.”

“I do not worry about this,” she reassured you. “I feel so fine here. And you do not need to worry that much either, it’s all going to be fine.”

“No,” you cried out and shook your head, tears welling up on the brim of your eyes. All your feelings came crashing down on you at once, feelings that you had tried to push aside for an entire week. “Nothing is ever going to be fine again!”

You sat down by her bedside and dropped your head. Her soft, warm hand found your fingers and gave them a comforting squeeze. “Is this about your husband?”

“Yes,” you admitted, and ‘no’ you wanted to say simultaneously as this wasn’t about your husband alone. Perhaps, now ex-husband on official papers even. “Why did he never show up again after going to the hospital with me the first day? I thought… he still cared, not only about me, but about you too. I’m so disappointed. I thought he was different.”

The last sentence was dedicated to both of them, though you confessed silently to yourself that you had never expected this from Jaehyun, out of the two. 

“But dear… he did come.”

You lifted your head and wiped away a tear that had dangled on the corner of your eye as you faced your grandmother with much surprise. “What are you saying, grandma?”

“He came every single day in the morning before work, we talked for half an hour when I was awake. I thought you knew?”

You had no idea, and looking at your grandma now, who was grinning widely and also a bit sneakily, made you assume that perhaps, she had kept it a secret on purpose - because the effect, when you found out, would be so much more impactful.

And it was.

“Grandma, I had no idea…”

“That’s why I asked you, before you decided to separate, did you really give it your all and tried everything possible to fix your marriage before moving on? Because, as far as I can see, you’re not the only one not ready to do so entirely.”

“I… I can’t say. I don’t know. And it doesn’t matter anymore, grandma,” you eventually said. “Even if we both wanted it, it’s too late. He has probably already signed the papers and sent them out.”

“Fine. But don’t forget my words. If, at some point in your life, you realize that you have made the wrong decision, don’t hesitate for a single second and tell him.” She leaned back into the pillows. “It’s almost afternoon, I want to sleep. Can you close the door behind you then, dear?”

“Of course.” You gave her a kiss on the forehead and quietly walked out of her room.

Back in the kitchen, you saw your mom sitting at the table, scrolling through her phone. Why was she not up and about yet to do some grocery shopping or at least call your father to do the trip? You were fed up by now, fueled by your grandmother’s words too.

“Mom, I’m going to the store and I’ll take your car.”

“Okay.”

That was it. You knew she had had a lot on her plate too, but why did everyone not take this situation seriously enough? 

When you put on your jacket as it was freezing outside, you wondered whether you were overreacting and just putting all your time and energy into this situation, moving here and taking care of things, just so you didn’t need to think about how your own life was falling apart. As long as you could take care of someone else, you didn’t need to face your own problems. Hadn’t this been the root of your downfall as well?

After all, when you returned home after this week, you would get a call from your lawyer to confirm that the divorce was through. You had specifically requested for him not to call while you were here.

What then, after that? Then, you were a divorced woman, and you weren’t ready to settle with this term yet.

“Careful!”

You nearly ran into a tall figure when you opened the entrance door. A familiar scent touched your nose, strong hands holding you by your arms so that you could keep your balance after the impact. 

“What are you doing here?” you asked Jaehyun as your gaze simultaneously scanned his appearance, and you spotted two big bags of groceries to either of his sides on the floor. 

“I thought since your grandmother would come home today, you would need a helping hand,” he stated and pointed at the grocery bags. You saw toilet paper, rice, water, and other necessities peeking out. “I didn’t know what to buy, so I just brought a bit of everything. Is that… okay?”

You couldn’t help yourself but fell into his arms, hot tears streaming down your cheeks. It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off your shoulder, and suddenly, this entire situation didn’t seem so difficult and hopeless anymore.

You had felt so left alone, like you had overreacted and that your feelings weren’t valid. But now your husband was here, having shown up in ways nobody else was. Your feelings were valid, they had always been to him.

Perhaps, your grandmother had been right all along. 

No, you hadn’t tried everything possible, because this clearance came way too late now, and you couldn’t apologize anymore for sometimes being a selfish, spoiled brat that had demanded much more from her husband than he was able to give. And always, you had wanted more and more.

Your views on life and the way you wanted to live it had started to take separate roads and you had thought this was not fixable anymore, but was that really what mattered after all?

It wasn’t about who was there for you all the time. Your problems couldn’t have been solved in that way either. That was why it couldn’t have worked out with Jaemin too. It wasn’t about this at all.

It was about who showed up during the times you truly needed someone. And it was always Jaehyun. When you needed support, a helping hand or someone to call during an emergency, he had always been there.

If you needed someone at all times, it could be anyone. But if you needed someone when times were hard, it was Jaehyun.

It had always been Jaehyun. 

“Your grandma is going to be fine,” Jaehyun whispered and gently patted the back of your head.

But you weren’t crying over your grandmother anymore, but about your failed marriage.

Because yes, you regretted it deeply and had not given it your all.

Because now, it was too late.

Neither of you spoke about the divorce papers that day.

____

Jaehyun didn’t come over anymore and neither did you reach out to him during the week you lived with your grandmother. 

You were determined to make it on your own from then on. Very soon, you were an official divorcée and single dog mom, so it was better to start early with this new lifestyle. Knowing you too well, Jaehyun might have already sensed it as he was leaving you completely alone during that time.

You brought Kang Kang with you to live and thus your days started with walking your dog before helping your grandmother get ready and preparing breakfast that you eventually ate together just like the other meals. Even though your grandmother was still able to do most things by herself, you noticed how slower, shakier and sometimes disoriented she had become. 

Time was not stopping, for nobody.

During the day you were occupied with doing chores, taking care of paperwork as well as your grandmother and Kang Kang. At the end of each day, you fell into your bed, absolutely exhausted and tired. Your mind was always occupied as well and there was no space for other things except for those brief moments during nighttime when you were alone and neither busy in a physical way or in your mind.

Then, you stared at the ceiling and wept.

Because you missed Jaehyun so badly and wished for him to be with you. You would have done anything for him to be here right now, but your marriage was over and you needed to move on without him. 

Everyday with this realization was hard, but luckily, no day grew harder than the day before. Eventually, they would only grow brighter.

That was your silver lining. 

____

Realizing that you wanted to be with Jaehyun after all, meant in retrospect that you couldn’t be with Jaemin. And just because you couldn’t be with Jaehyun, didn’t mean you should be with Jaemin. That was not how it worked, unfortunately.

“Hey, it’s me,” you spoke on the phone, watching the skyline from your window the first night you had returned to your home. 

He had promised to always pick up when you called, but this time, he hadn’t. You were struggling to come to terms with the fact that he indeed didn’t want to be reached by you either this time. Perhaps, not anymore at all.

You remembered why you had married Jaehyun.

You had married him, because he took care of the people he loved, because he made things seem more bearable when they weren’t and because when he said he would pick up whenever you called, he actually did. That was not a void Jaemin could just fill.

You would always search for a Jaehyun in his eyes, and that was not fair, because he was not. He was Jaemin, an entirely different person. And there was a person out there that would be perfect for him, too.

“I just wanted to tell you that this is the last time you will ever hear from me.” Softly, Kang Kang was snoring in the corner, filling the pause that then followed.

Maturing was realizing that just because you wanted to be with someone, you shouldn’t be with them. Maturing was realizing that only because you didn’t want to be alone, you should be with someone. Maturing was realizing that even on the third try, some people still weren’t meant to be together.

Tears sprang from your eyes, but your voice gave no hint of it. “Truth to be told, I am very disappointed that you never showed up again… called me, or at least sent a message, asked me how we are. It was a very hard time for me and you just… weren’t there.”

But someone else had been. You dried your cheeks with the back of your hand. 

“Yes, I could have messaged or called you too… but why should I have when I was the one suffering? Admittedly, I also didn’t need to. I handled it all myself very well. That made me realize… I wanted this, Jaemin. I wanted this so much, with you. But I didn’t need it. I don’t need you. And the past weeks made me realize that you feel the same. You don’t need me either.”

You could live without Jaehyun and you could live without Jaemin, you just had to be strong enough to make it on your own now that you had neither. 

And you would make it on your own. 

You had the drive, passion and strength all within you, you just had failed to notice for so long. After all, you had been able to take care of your grandmother, dog and everyone around you for the past weeks. So taking care of yourself wouldn’t be harder than that.

Had you broken down and experienced weak moments? Yes, several times. But that had only made you stronger.

“I’m strong and not afraid, I will always make it on my own. And you will make it too. Go out into the world, perhaps even travel to America where you always wanted to go, make your dream about music come true… I wish for you to achieve everything you’ve ever wanted, with my whole heart.” You swallowed hard and added, “It’s just not going to be with me. I don’t know where my place is yet, but it’s not by your side.”

For now, your best companion was yourself. And your dog. And actually, that was enough.

You finished speaking on the mailbox with, “Goodbye, Jaemin.”

You didn’t hesitate to delete his number and block him all across social media. This time, for good.

The fact that you cried yourself to sleep that night would be your own little secret to keep, but it would also be the very last time you would find yourself in a position to cry over Jaemin, ever.

The next morning, you felt free. The air was clear and crisp. It was cloudy, but not snowing. Thank god.

____

“I apologize for having to tell you this, but Mr. Jeong hasn’t signed the divorce papers.”

“Pardon me?” 

It had been a dreadful feeling to take the call from your lawyer the next morning. The more surprised you were about the actual message he had just passed down to you. Your breath caught.

“His lawyer told me he refuses to sign them and sent them back to me unsigned, that’s why I couldn’t send them to you yet.”

You frowned as you suddenly turned utterly confused. “But why? What did he say? Is there something he still wants to negotiate over?”

“They didn’t tell me, just that he refuses to sign them. I’ll resolve this for you, be at ease.”

“Don’t,” you held him back. “I’ll do it myself.”

“You’re not allow-”

But you had already hung up and were halfway out of the door, he didn’t even come to end his sentence.

____

Not even an hour later, you were standing in front of Jaehyun’s apartment door, ringing the bell like a maniac. He looked at you like he had expected you already as you stood in front of him with your arms folded in front of your chest.

“Took you long enough.”

“Care to explain to me why you sent the documents back unsigned?”

“Come inside,” he invited you calmly.

Your eyes narrowed. “Your girlfriend doesn't mind?”

“We haven’t seen each other since that weekend… and I rather want it to stay this way.”

Your heart jumped. That basically meant they weren’t together anymore, you concluded as you followed him into his apartment and took your shoes off in the corridor. 

“What about Jaemin?” 

“Same.”

It seemed that you both didn’t want to talk about your past lovers, and even though you were curious, if he had to elaborate, then you needed to as well, and there was no way you would ever want to live through the past weeks again.

“I was thinking about our conversation in the car back from Jeonju,” he began as he shifted around to face you the moment you arrived in the living room, “about what makes me happy. When we were separated, we didn’t see each other, and I was happy living a life I haven’t gotten a taste of before. I was happy doing new stuff, trying out new things, being untied from you. Because what made me unhappy… was you.”

Your eye twitched as you didn’t know whether you should feel offended now. But when you let the words sink in and contemplated them, you felt exactly the same. Seeing and spending time with your husband had dreaded you of all your energy and happiness as you two had forgotten how to be happy together anymore.

And you told him exactly that now.

“I agree.” He nodded. “And then I thought about what made me really unhappy. Because up until two weeks ago, I was really happy. And then came you, and you made me feel so miserable.”

You drew your brows together, not quite sure if you had heard right. But you had, and it stung. No, it actually hurt very much that it took all your might to refrain yourself from crying right now. “I… still make you unhappy?”

But Jaehyun’s facial expression didn’t match his words as he nodded. His features were soft, a slight smile playing around his lips. There was no way he could find this amusing?

“It makes me unhappy to see you unhappy. It makes me unhappy to see you suffering because of your grandmother and simultaneously getting mistreated by the guy who is supposed to make you happy. Because if he can’t do it, who will? I was just too blind to see this.”

You dropped your gaze. Jaehyun had. He had shown up in ways nobody else ever had. Just to… see you happy, because he couldn’t stand the thought of you being sad and miserable?

Knowing he was pushing so far, he didn’t wait for you to reply, but instead wanted to know, “What makes you unhappy?”

“When you’re not with me.”

With slow steps, he approached you until he stood tall and calm in front of you. You lifted your head and looked into his clear and sincere eyes.

“Please don’t ask me what will make me happy, Jaehyun,” you pleaded him straight-forwardly. “Because I’m not sure whether you’d like the answer.”

“What if I’d like to hear it?”

You furrowed in worry. “At all cost?”

Jaehyun inhaled sharply as though in tension, but his soft features remained. 

“What if you don’t like it?” you asked.

“You will never know if you don’t try, right?”

‘If, at some point in your life, you realize that you have made the wrong decision, don’t hesitate for a single second and tell him.’ You remembered your grandmother’s words too well.

He didn’t expect it though when you threw your arms around his neck and pulled him down to you. 

He still tasted exactly like in your memories.

____

“Are you excited, Kang Kang?” 

Your dog yelped and ran around in circles. You patted his head when he eventually came to a standstill in front of you and looked up to you with big eyes.

“Are you excited to live with your dad again?”

As though in response, Kang Kang started to whirl around again and you laughed. Lately, you found yourself laughing very often, and every time it came from deep within you with all sincerity and happiness. 

In the past two weeks, your grandmother had started to settle with her new caretaker so that you could cut down your visits to once or twice a week, because you were currently busy moving houses. But each time, Jaehyun came with you, and your grandmother was overjoyed.

You had decided to move into a new home together that wasn’t riddled with memories of a very unpleasant phase in your marriage that had almost ended it for good. It was just as big and beautiful as this apartment, but you had already agreed that that one would only be a temporary home as well.

Maybe, not too far in the future, you could move outside of the city where Kang Kang would have a garden to run around in and where he would have playmates, maybe both, a boy and girl.

You blushed at the thought and looked at the engagement ring and wedding band that you had been wearing again since the day you had found out that your husband had never signed the divorce papers.

Just because you could make it on your own didn’t mean you wanted and needed to. After all, you had given a vow to each other, because somewhere in the past, you were so happy, you had agreed on spending the rest of your lives with each other. And that meant something, so much more than anyone not married could imagine. 

You weren’t walking down the aisle thinking you’re going to get divorced. You got married, because this was supposed to be forever.

Yes, it was right that it took much less to turn “Till death do us part” into “Till your lack of time for me do us part”, but unlike the worst case scenario, everything else was fixable. 

The movers were busy carrying down the last boxes with your stuff while you put Kang Kang on a leash. Looking around your old apartment for one last time, you bid farewell to this home of yours that not only bore bliss, but also destruction. But you had come out of it stronger, better than before.

You wouldn’t say that all your differences were now solved by deciding to get back together. Love alone couldn’t magically make them disappear, that was not how it worked. But you had talked long about this, what you needed to get back to where you had once been.

You had thought of your grandmother’s words every so often. No, you had not given it all yet, you eventually had to admit to her personally too, and she had only smiled, as though in knowing. Jaehyun and you both still had, apart from love of course, the passion, the determination, the strength. And hope. 

As long as there was that, your marriage was fixable.

And this time, you would make sure nothing would do you part again.

“The movers are ready, so we should get to the car. Here, let me take Kang Kang.”

Your heart was full of love and hope too when Jaehyun appeared at your door with a smile and took the leash from you after giving you a kiss on your cheek. 

Jaehyun was a husband who took care of things, so that you wouldn’t need to. Wasn’t this what marriage was about? Making each other’s lives easier and happier, because life itself was already hard enough.

Your grandmother had realized this very early. What a woman.

You didn’t think of Jaemin that often anymore. Only every now and then, he involuntarily crossed your mind and tugged on your heartstrings as a strong memory that day by day slowly faded, too. His face became blurry when you tried to remember his exact features, and eventually, he would only be a flash of a picture among a string of memories when you thought back to this time. As it had always been.

The only difference was that you had shut down every possibility of reaching out on either side. When you caught yourself wanting to unblock him and look him up on social media, you put your phone aside and let the feeling pass. It really worked wonders.

And one day, even this urge would perish.

When you stepped onto the streets that were still layered with a thin sheen of snow and ice, you noticed that the sun was shining and a touch of spring lingered in the air. The temperature would start to get warmer soon as well.

Your husband helped Kang Kang into the back of the car before he circled it and opened the door for you. And that was it, the huge difference. So subtle, but so grave all at once, it nearly made your heart burst.

“Are you ready to go home?” Jaehyun asked.

And finally, you answered, “Yes, I really want to go home.”  

Winter was still here, but in your heart, it was already summer when your husband took your hand.

You wanted rays of sunshine, warm breezes, salt on your skin and the chanting of crickets.

You wanted it to always be summer.

You wanted your husband.

____

One month prior

Jaemin had followed you all the way back to Seoul that very same day your grandmother had been admitted to the hospital, ditching the biggest opportunity in his entire life after all.

After he had seen you so disappointed and sad, mostly because of him, your expression hadn’t left his mind for hours. When it dawned on him what he was doing to you, letting you down in a very crucial situation, he wanted to beat himself up for being such a selfish idiot once again and had directly made his way to the café where you had fled to. But when he had arrived, you were already gone. 

Following you all the way to Seoul, he had been thinking of all the ways he could make it up to you. He had booked a hotel in the city and prepared to stay there for as long as you needed him. But when he had arrived, he saw you in front of the hospital and you weren’t alone. 

You had been with your husband and he had held you close as you cried in his arms, he had seen it all from his car.

He was too late again, he had thought. But when he had looked closer, the way Jaehyun was holding you and consoling you, he knew that timing wasn’t the problem, it had never been. 

You couldn’t be hugged like this by anyone. Jaemin couldn’t embrace you the way Jaehyun did, and it turned out to be a painful realization for him. It couldn’t be him, it also couldn’t be anyone else. It had to be Jaehyun.

It had always been Jaehyun.

___

“May I come in?”

Jaemin stood in front of Jaehyun’s door later that fateful day after you had left with your dog, facing his former best friend in person for the first time in many years. 

Occasionally, he would look at his social media after he had found out on a random day that Jaehyun had unblocked him and vice versa. Somehow, they still wanted to know what the other was up to, who they were up to with. The irony of that.

Jaehyun remained quiet, but pushed the door open for him. 

“Why are you here?” Jaehyun then asked him when they reached the living room. “She’s not here.”

“I know,” Jaemin answered. “I came for you.”

“So?” He braced his arm against the table and leaned back. “The invitations for the tea party are not out yet.”

“There is no need to be so condescending.” At this point, Jaemin was just so tired and wanted to leave this all behind him. “After today, I will be out of your lives, forever.”

“Sounds tempting. But as you know, we will be officially divorced soon, so she’s all yours to have.”

“But I’m not the one she needs.”

Jaehyun drew his brow together. “You’re the one she wants to be with.”

He smiled mildly and repeated, “But I’m not the one she needs. We don’t need to be together a fourth time to figure this out. You show up in ways I will never be able to, you’re the one she needs, even if she doesn’t see it yet.”

“Well… you’re too late.” Jaehyun shrugged. “I’ll sign the papers and will send them to my lawyer tomorrow. You think she’s some puppet you can toss around when you’re done playing just to pick her up again when it’s convenient for you? That’s not how relationships work.”

“I know.” Jaemin dropped his head in regret. “I’ve never wanted all of this. I’ve always wanted the best for…”

“...yourself,” Jaehyun ended the sentence aloud.

“... her,” Jaemin ended the sentence in his head.

And even though everything was different now, even though he had evolved and grown so much as a person, it was easier to let them believe that he was still the selfish, hard-headed Jaemin from the past. 

After all, he couldn't hold her like Jaehyun to make her feel so happy. 

It had to be someone particular. It had to be him.

And if he would be gone, then no one could make her happy anymore.

So Jaemin dashed forward and grabbed his former friend by the collar. Jaehyun was too perplexed to instantly react and just faced his opposite with a shocked expression.

“Listen up,” Jaemin growled, “if you send out signed divorce papers, I will come for you in the worst way possible. If you don’t rekindle this marriage with her, I will make your life a living hell. We might not like each other anymore, but we both love her, and if I ever see you making her sad again, you can dig your own grave. You will fix this marriage, no matter the cost, are we in the clear?”

He slowly let go of Jaehyun after luring out a reluctant nod from him. Latter cleared his throat and asked, “... but, do you think she even still wants to be with me?”

This time, Jaemin’s smile was sincere. “I’m absolutely sure about that. Show her again the reason why she was picking you over me, again and again. Remind her of all the traits that make you so much better for her than me, and she will choose you again. If she hasn’t already. Or do you not want t-”

“I do!” Jaehyun blurted out. “I absolutely do.”

Jaemin stretched out his arm and gave his former friend’s shoulder an encouraging squeeze. “Very well.”

When he made his way to the door, Jaehyun stopped him with the words, “Thank you. Honestly.”

Initially, he wanted to turn around, but it was starting to burn behind his eyes, so Jaemin kept his back turned to Jaehyun and said,

“Don’t make me regret this.”

____

Jaemin threw his phone into the bushes on his way out.

So, what now?

He turned his head to the sky, and even though the tears started streaming down his face now, he tucked his hands into the pockets of his jacket and smiled through the blurriness. The wind was cold and burned his wet cheeks, and suddenly, it started snowing again.

This pain would vanish, he was sure of that. When you had fixed your marriage, got children and grew old together, his pain would eventually pass in this timeline. 

Yet, at that moment, it felt like it ripped Jaemin’s heart to shreds, even to the point where he wondered if he was actually tricking himself into believing that he would be fixed again or had to live the rest of his life with this ache slowly eating him up from the inside until there was nothing left of him anymore except for the frayed edges of his once so lively soul.

Jaemin took a deep breather and swallowed the next wave of tears.

He had no regrets, despite everything. And he still had hope. As long as there was that and he was able to hold onto these faint strings, he would continue on.

A fresh start, that was what he needed now as he trotted to his car. Far away from you and Jaehyun so that your paths would never cross again in this lifetime. That was the last selfless act he could still offer to you.

America sounded good.

[hsnlv]

caught! | y.jw

pairing: boyfriend!jungwon x reader

teaser: “so, angel,” jungwon said, his voice dangerously soft, “if i’m your first boyfriend… how do you know how to shave a guy?”

others: jungwon is visibly manly in this one and im soooo in love w manly jungwon!

wc: 1.1k

a/n: have you guys ever seen tha clip from one of jungwon’s live where you can see his upper lips facial hair that started to grow?? BEAUTIFUL��‍💫 this is defo inspired by that live keke

“baby, can you help me shave?” jungwon asked, handing you his razor with an expectant look. you couldn’t help but notice the faint shadow of his moustache, barely visible but still pricking his soft skin. knowing jungwon, he probably hated the sight of it—he always shaved at the first sign of facial hair.

you took the razor from him, smiling giddily. “of course, uwon!” hopping onto the bathroom sink, you faced him, legs dangling on either side of his waist. moments like this made your heart flutter—being so close to him, feeling his warmth, catching the faint scent of his cologne that you’d recognize anywhere.

“don’t forget the shaving cream,” he murmured, his tone slightly teasing.

“uwon, let me handle this,” you said confidently, reaching for the cream. he just arched a brow but stayed silent, his lips pressing into a playful pout as you carefully lathered his face. your fingers worked gently, spreading the cream over his soft skin, humming to yourself as you did.

you guys are this close whenever you do his skincare or face masks. and normally, jungwon would hum along with you or tease you for singing off-key, but today, he was strangely quiet. you glanced up, your brows furrowing. “what’s wrong?” you asked, tilting your head.

he wiped the cream from his lips with a tissue, setting it aside before his hand settled on your thigh, squeezing gently. the warmth of his palm sent little sparks through you, but his expression… something about it made your stomach twist.

“angel baby,” he said, his voice soft yet firm, a tone he rarely used. the way he said your favorite nickname made your heart skip, though there was a flicker of something behind his eyes—curiosity, maybe? you hummed in response, but your pulse quickened.

“you told me i was your first boyfriend, didn’t you?” he tilted his head slightly, studying you. his voice wasn’t accusing, but the question hung heavy in the air.

your heart dropped to your stomach. “uh, yeah…?” you answered hesitantly, trying to sound casual but failing miserably.

jungwon’s brow arched higher. “then how do you know how to shave a guy?”

your mind went blank. oh no. oh no, no, no.

okay, to be fair, it’s not like you wanted to lie to him like that. but you clearly remember during your talking stage with him, he had said that he preferred a girl who was never in a relationship before, with the reason that he could show her how love is actually like.

“uh, well, i mean… i helped my brother before,” you stammered, trying to sound convincing.

jungwon’s lips quirked up ever so slightly, his fingers drumming gently against your thigh. “you don’t have a brother.”

“uh, my dad?” you tried again, forcing a sheepish smile.

“your dad doesn’t even have facial hair,” he countered, leaning in slightly, his tone dangerously soft. “and, if i recall, he’s bald.”

“im pretty sure it’s not much of a different if i shave myself…?” okay that was nasty but whatever it is to make sure he didn’t catch your lie.

“pretty sure?” his voice was too confident, it made your walls of lies crumbled down right upon him. your pout deepened at his chuckle.

“baby, just tell me the truth.” his hand tilted your chin up, forcing you to meet his gaze.

“did you have a boyfriend before me?” his voice was gentler now, but the seriousness in his eyes made your heart race.

you sighed, your shoulders slumping as you nodded. “…yeah.”

jungwon stared at you for a moment, his face completely unreadable. you braced yourself for his reaction, but instead of scolding or looking upset, he laughed. soft at first, then louder, until he was clutching his stomach, his head tilting back.

“baby,” he said between laughs, wiping the corner of his eye. “you thought i’d actually care about that? seriously?”

you blinked at him, cheeks burning. “but you said—”

“i said i prefer someone who hasn’t dated before, not that i need it or care about it,” he cut you off, grinning at you. “you’re so dramatic. it’s adorable.”

you pouted, crossing your arms. “i just wanted to be perfect for you.”

jungwon’s grin softened, his hand cupping your cheek. “you’re already perfect, angel. even when you’re lying terribly.”

“it wasn’t that bad!” you protested, half-heartedly swatting at his chest.

“it was awful,” he teased, pulling you closer by your waist. “your bald dad? your imaginary brother? i almost wanted to let you keep digging just to see what else you’d come up with.”

you groaned, hiding your face in your hands. “stop making fun of me!”

“never,” he said smugly, tugging your hands away to press a quick kiss to your forehead. “but seriously, baby, don’t lie to me about stuff like that. i hate liars. and, i don’t care who you dated before me. i just care that you’re with me now.”

his words melted away the embarrassment, leaving nothing but warmth. “i was just scared,” you admitted softly, your gaze dropping to your hands. “you told me you wanted someone who hadn’t been in love before. i was so in love with you, uwon, and i wanted to be everything you dreamed of.”

jungwon’s expression softened even more as he rested his forehead against yours. “you are, baby. even if you’ve been in love before, it doesn’t change the fact that i’m the luckiest guy in the world to have you now.”

you smiled shyly, your fingers curling into the soft fabric of his sweater. “you’re not mad?”

“mad? no. jealous? absolutely. very much,” he said, fixing you with a dramatic, intense gaze.

“you’ve shaved someone else before me? wow, i feel so betrayed,” he added, raising his hands in mock surrender, his tone exaggerated just enough to make you panic.

“uwon, baby! i’m sorry!” you whined, your voice filled with guilt.

his giggle broke through the tension, and you glared at him with a pout. he leaned forward, booping your nose lightly. “i’m kidding, baby,” he said with a grin.

“you’re the worst,” you muttered under your breath.

“and you’re the best,” he shot back smoothly, leaning closer to nuzzle his nose against yours. “now, can we finish this? or are you going to tell me you’ve shaved some random celebrity next?”

“you’re so annoying,” you huffed, grabbing the razor again.

“and you love me,” he teased, his grin so wide it made your heart flutter.

as much as you wanted to argue, you couldn’t deny it.

[moociaoafterdark]

The last post was a rhetorical question, but, glad you guys want to hear me out!

Anyway, the Imperial Palace is haunted. "Haunted".

Surely, there are no such things as ghosts, right?

Except, when the Raven Guard Astartes began to report things disappearing when you don't look at them and also seeing pale ghostly figure stalking the hallways, people began to tense up, even though some just brushed it off as them confusing a ghost for one of their own. When the Custodes began to back up the Raven Guard's claims, the Primarchs got involved.

So, the main ghost hunting squad consists of Horus, Sanguinius, Corvus and Alpharius (and Omegon, but, shh). If we assign them the "Mystery Gang" roles, then Horus is Fred, Sanguinius is Daphne, Corvus is Velma and Alpharius is either Shaggy and Omegon is Scooby, or it's the other way around. No one notices the changes anyway.

A lot of their methods include things like a ouija board (from which they learned many interesting things about the ghost, particularly how many pickles it can shove up its ass), asking the ghost questions in the dark room, taunting the ghost (and screaming like little girls when the ghost retaliates), using a radio to try to communicate with it... That kind of stuff. A lot of the times, Corvus tries to negotiate with the ghost by offering Horus a sacrifice, much to Sanguinius' annoyance. Surprisingly, Horus doesn't really mind becoming a sacrifice (he thinks he can fight the ghost off) (he can't do shit). Alpharius and Omegon are both amused, however they initially didn't take the hauntings seriously. As time went on, though, they slowly started to plan their way out of the group.

The gang then turned to Lorgar for help. Their research led them to find out that numerous religions, in the past, had ways to ward off ghosts. Perhaps Lorgar can do something? Lorgar decided that a religious sacrifice could potentially pacify the paranormal ("No, Corvus, we are not sacrificing Horus"). He ordered Alpharius and Omegon to find and bring a small animal that they could sacrifice, while Lorgar prepared the salt, the candles and the prayers. Alpharius brought a little white rabbit from the Palace's kitchen. Sanguinius was sad to see such cutie get sacrificed, he made sure to give that rabbit some pats before the ritual. When the right time came, the Primarchs, all 6 of them now, stood in the circle made out of salt, in the room that was pitch black safe for some lit candles. Lorgar read the prayers and tried to stab the rabbit in order to kill it. The dagger, instead, bent to the side, as if the animal was made out of steel. The white rabbit then became possessed and jumped onto Alpharius, trying to bite through his helmet... And almost succeeding, had Sanguinius not grabbed and tossed the vermin out from the circle. Despite being tossed by a Primarch with full force, the rabbit didn't even break a sweat, instead preparing to pounce on its next victim. Thankfully it was put down by Horus and a couple of shots from his bolter pistol that he thankfully brought with himself. The killer rabbit was dead and Lorgar felt despair. Why didn't his faith in their father stop the malicious presence? He will make that ghost pay! Feeling wronged, he joins the ghost hunting squad and helps keep the group together and to coordinate the rituals.

Magnus thinks he can crack the case himself. He gets the photo evidence of paranormal activity, however, his recording skills are subpar. The photos and videos are blurry as fuck, as if Magnus covered the lense with a thick coat of vaseline beforehand. No one believes him or takes his evidence as, well, actual evidence... Except Jaghatai. His bike has been acting weird lately. Sometimes it turns on all by itself, drives itself for a good distance, sometimes it refuses to turn on, or strange things pop out on the display. Something is messing with his bike and the Great Khan is REALLY pissed at this. And, so far, he only trusts Magnus with this, so, they become a ghost hunting duo. Through the series of unfortunate events, the two have to race away from the pissed off ghost, with Magnus clinging onto Jagh and yelling "DRIVE FASTER, I'M SCARED".

The ghost also visited the Night Haunter himself. When Konrad realized he had an intruder he looked at the ghost, who decided to appear to him as a demonic looking old woman, taller than Konrad himself. Their eyes locked together and Konrad just... smiled, his rotting teeth revealed by a wide grin. He and the Night Lords were never bothered by the ghost again after that.

When news reached Roboute of what was happening in the Imperial Palace, he just made a shocked face and went "Oh no... Anyway!" and then went back to drinking the finest of wines you could find on Ultramar, while basking under Macragge's sun. Jackass.

Ferrus and Rogal were both working on the project together and didn't even notice the ghost. At some point, the ghost became a third participant: holding a hammer or shinning a light where it was needed. When Ferrus and Rogal realized what was happening, they just... Went back to work and continued to exploit the ghost. They would never say no to free labour.

[bloggerspam]

Jason wakes up dazed and confused, with three sets of glowing green eyes hovering over him.

"Jason Todd was dead to begin with." The biggest one intones in a, frankly, terrible British Accent. Alfred would be appalled.

"What?" Jason croaks, just as the middle one elbows the big one.

"As dead as a doornail!" The littlest one chirps, hands thrown up as they fly this way and that around them with a giggle.

"Danny," The middle one sighs, but doesn't finish the thought.

"You're the one who started it." The biggest one grumps, "Besides, I haveta admit, it sort of fits."

"I thought you hated that movie," The middle one shoots back, "And we established on the way here it's not 1 to 1."

"The logic is sound." The biggest one makes his voice nasally, clearly mocking.

"Dan," The middle one admonishes, "You're confusing the guy."

"But Danny," the little one, also named Danny and giving Jason a bigger headache than death should really give him, whines as she(?) flops down on Dan's broad shoulders, "I did research!"

"Watching The Muppet Christmas Carol doesn't count as research, Danny." Dan grumbles.

"Dan," Danny, the middle one, says again, "The Muppet version was not only time-period accurate, but also faithful to the book. To a certain extent."

Danny, the little one, floats upside down in Dan's face to stick her tongue out.

"Are all of you named Danny?" Jason coughs, hoping to stop whatever the hell is going on here, "Or Dan, or whatever?"

"I'm Danny with a y." Danny flaps a hand to the littlest one who sits back down on Dan's shoulders, "And she's Dani with an i."

Dani waves before giggling and pulling at Dan's cheeks, "And Big Guy over here is Dan!"

"Danny is my deadname," Dan deadpans, though it's hard to take seriously when his cheeks are still being stretched to comical lengths.

Jason doesn't know what to say to that, but apparently it cracks Dani up something fierce. She giggles so hard that she falls off, though Dan simply catches her by the ankles and dangles her there without taking his gaze away from Jason.

He gulps. Takes a deep breath. Looks around and thinks.

Jason tries to reorient himself, catalogue where he is, what his condition is, who these people are, and what they're here for.

He's in his room at the Manor, but something feels off.

He's sitting on his bed, the box with his birth parent’s belongings Ms. Walker gave him on the bed still opened up next to him. The contents of it, the documents, the pictures, the…the address book.

He traces a finger over the S written on his birth certificate, where the rest of his birth mother's name has been smudged to all hell. He must have fallen asleep, reading through the names and waiting for Bruce to finish patrol so he could use the BatComputer to search through the bulky book.

He flicks his gaze around his room, looking fairly untouched. The windows and door are locked shut, and nothing has been disturbed. It's dark, but everything has a weird glow to it.

The three intruders bicker and banter but never take their eyes off him.

Dan's gaze hurts most of all, so he avoids him, focusing on Danny's steady gaze instead.

He opens his mouth to ask questions, thoughts flipping through possible weapons within reach, when he finally understands what's wrong.

His gaze sticks to the window behind where Danny floats between the other two, where the tree he climbs to sneak out can be seen.

The leaves are blowing—no, the leaves are stuck in the motion of blowing. The tree is leaning, ever so slightly, stopped in the action of swaying.

Raindrops float, no, raindrops pause in the action of falling.

Time, Jason thinks, may or may not be stopped.

"You're at a crossroads, Jason Todd." Danny's voice snaps Jason's gaze to his, glowing green irises neon bright in the almost dark.

"Crossroads?" Jason echoes, scanning the other boy. He's Jason's age, probably, a teenager with the posture of someone who's seen shit. The way Jason's seen shit, the way Dickie's seen shit. Older than they look, younger than they feel. Bright white hair flowing in an invisible wind, features soft and frame lithe. A Robin's build.

"You're going to look for your mom," Dani cuts in, twirling and twisting out of Dan's grip, floating on her back like she's in a swimming pool, and not 8 feet in the air. She too has bright white hair and glowing green eyes, a spitting image but in feminine form, hair tied up in a low ponytail, but instead of swaying it mists, like smoke, or vapor. It fades a pathway behind her like water trails in a lake.

"And you're going to meet three women," Dan picks up the thread, looking bored and unhappy to be here. He's a large, hulking man with blue skin, starkly different from the other two though he shares the same eyes. His white hair flickers like flame, though it's somehow contained in a single long braid.

"And eventually," Danny frowns, "You will meet your birth mother."

Jason sits bolt up, scooting towards the edge of the bed, leaning forward. "I do?"

"It's not a good thing," Dan tsks.

"S'not a bad thing either," Dani softly placates, "Eventually, I mean."

"Bullshit." Dan grumbles, but is silenced by Danny lifting up a hand.

"You'll meet her," Danny speaks over them, "And then you'll die."

Dani spins her way towards Jason, miming a little kaboom! in his face, too close, before swirling back towards Dan.

"That's not important," Danny flaps a hand, "It's after your death that's the important part."

Jason stands up, "What—" He shakes his head, his thoughts scattering, "How do you even know this?"

Dan uncrosses his arms, reaching over to tap twice at a golden gear-like medallion with a stylized CW in the middle hanging over Danny's neck. It makes a dull, metallic thunkthunk.

Jason squints, that doesn't answer his question, but the others seem to take that as one.

"Who are you?" Jason finally settles on, swinging his gaze back and forth between the three, scooting closer to his nightstand where his panic button is.

"Ghosts." Danny shrugs, "Sort of."

"You can't be serious." Jason feigns resting on the nightstand, reaching back as if to lean back on it, searching for the little—

"As serious as death!" Dani giggles, startling Jason when she pops her head from behind him over his shoulder, grinning. The button clatters to the floor. Shit.

"An interested party," Dan clarifies as Dani circles around Jason to pick up the panic button and put it in his hand, "Sort of."

Jason stares at the panic button, thankful that it just looks like a little bat pin, the kind that's decorative, to put on your bag. He presses the body of it, where there's an outline of a tummy, and hears a click.

"As we said before, you're at a crossroads" Danny coughs to cut in, "We're here to…guide you to a more informed decision."

"You're here to save me from dying." Jason's voice is so flat, it could have been machine pressed, "Because what, my living is integral to the timeline?"

"Well. No." Danny winces, "Not…exactly."

Jason freezes. He's been continuously pressing the panic button, but the light isn't coming on. He flicks another glance at the window with its frozen tableau.

Time, he thinks, is being stopped.

Jason's heart starts pounding.

And then he feels his hand being lifted, realizing that he's white-knuckled the panic button, pressing his nails into his skin as he squeezes the button into his palm intermittently.

"It won't work." Dani carefully and gently pries the sharp edges of the bat wings out of his hand, "Not yet."

Jason stares at her little hands cradling his. There's not much difference in their ages, he thinks. Dan is a giant amongst them, maybe in his twenties, maybe even Bruce's age. Danny seems to be about the same age as him, physically at least, maybe a bit younger, Jason's always been small for his age.

But Jason's hands are big, the kind you have to grow into, and Dani looks at least a couple years younger. She's rubbing his hand sadly, casting glances at her companions—-brothers? And looking, for the first time, unsure about this whole endeavor.

That, more than anything, calms him down.

"The fact of the matter is this," Danny's voice yanks him back from his idle observations, "Your death, in the grand scheme of things, doesn't really affect much of anything at all."

"That's reassuring," Jason says without his input, "Way to make a guy feel real special."

Danny sighs, like the world has come upon his shoulders. Jason feels a little bad about it, but not bad enough to take it back.

"You're special in the way that all people're special," Danny corrects himself, "Because when you die, temporary or not, it leaves scars on the people who love you."

Jason scoffs, remembering his and Bruce's fight. He thinks about Dickie, off on his own adventure, not quite mad at Jason for taking up the Robin mantle, but not happy about it either.

He thinks about Catherine, about this mysterious birth mother with a name that starts with an S.

He thinks about Willis, and decides that’s enough thinking about that.

"Look," Danny cuts in as Jason's gaze swings over to him, "We have our own reasons for going through this, reasons that, believe it or not, do not actually involve you." He floats over to one of Jason's bookshelves, picks up the single family picture Alfred had to be cajoled into joining.

Not that the butler resisted much, beyond the token I'm just a butler, Master Jason.

Jason knows that Dickie has one too, his own version before Jason came that he also cajoled Alfred into joining.

It's tradition now, apparently.

Never mind that there're only two of them, that Dickie left his copy of the picture here, in the Manor, instead of taking it with him to Titan's Tower.

"I would try to explain, but clearly, just talking about it isn't gonna cut it." Danny places the picture frame down and moves on to the copy of Pride and Prejudice he has to read for school and has been procrastinating on.

"I told you he wouldn't listen." Dan mutters as he floats over to join Danny over by the bookshelf, leaning against the desk beside it to watch as Danny peruses the book.

"Well it's my first time doing something like this too," Danny closes the book with a thud, putting it away and tiredly slumping against Dan, "I was hoping it would be easy."

"CW would never make it easy for us," Dan scoffs, though he does wrap an arm around his companion, "Lessons learned and whatnot."

"I secretly think they like being cryptic," Dani stage whispers to Jason, "They were probably a theatre kid in life."

"Let's just get this over with." Dan growls, shifting to lift Danny like a football under one arm and floating up. He grabs the medallion before it falls off, tosses it to Dani who catches it and puts it on.

Danny sighs, but does not stop him, simply lays limp and mutters to the floor, "See you later, Ghost of Christmas Past."

"It's not even Christmas," Jason says, so confused he doesn't even think to stop them, "It's April."

"Bye!" Dani chirps, waving cutely before grabbing Jason's hand again. "Ready to go?"

"Go where?" Jason asks, gaze bouncing back and forth between the two leaving and the one staying. "Where are they going?"

"Weren't you listening?" Dani grins, tugging him up and Jason's suddenly floating. "It's Time!!!!"

Jason faintly thinks: Time for what? But the medallion gear spins, making odd little clicking sounds, like ticks and tocks. The world around them suddenly starts to whorl together. A second, maybe years later, and it stops.

Jason, inevitably, throws up.

A Christmas Carol AU

Inspired by a prompt found in the @haunting-heroes-creative-games :) (i.e. back on my shit again)

When a 15 year old Jason, pissed at Bruce for taking Robin away from him, finds his birth certificate he realizes Catherine Todd is not his real mother.

Just as he resolves to go out and search for his birth mother, Jason finds himself accosted by three ghosts in his room, talking about A Christmas Carol of all things.

===

"So, what? We're gonna Christmas Carol him?"

Dan scoffs, crossing his bulky arms with an unimpressed look. "We hated that movie."

"I didn't." Dani chirps, disturbingly cheery, "I didn't see it!"

"We hate Christmas," Danny corrects, "But the movie was alright, and the logic is sound."

"I don't hate Christmas," Dani once again interjects cheerily, "I've never participated!"

"Sound my ass," Dan growls over her, throwing his hands up. "We don't even know this guy!"

"Minor detail." Danny insists, "Tuck can look him up."

"He's a fucking Bat, Danny." Dan scrunches up his face, pinching the bridge of his nose just like Vlad does when he's disgruntled with any of Dad's shenanigans.

"He's a Robin, actually." Dani pipes in, "And he's just a kid. How hard is it gonna be to pretend to be this kid's Ghosts?"

"You're a kid," Dan reminds her, crossing his arms, "And you didn't believe me when I told you sticking a fork in the outlet would shock you."

"I believed you," Dani sniffs haughtily, crossing her arms and pointing her nose up with a snooty voice, "The warning simply did not deter me from doing it anyway."

"We don't have to convince him we're his Ghosts, or even that we knew him before," Danny reasons, needling, "We just have to convince him that we're…"

He hums, pointing at Dani. "Past."

He points at himself, "Present."

He points at Dan, "Future."

Dani does a little cheer, arms up and twirling into the air before landing with her legs over Dan's shoulders, hands and head settling atop Dan's fiery, but harmless, hair. It flickers, before going limp into long white strands that Dani messes up by gently scrunching up the strands and running her fingers through them.

Dan lets her, huffing and looking weirdly like a downtrodden, wet cat. "Why am I future?"

"Because." Danny doesn't continue, because he knows it makes Dan annoyed. True to form, his scowl gets worse, like sucking on a lemon. They all know why anyway.

Dani grins, triumphant and knowing, letting her voice go real deep, "The future," she intones into Dan's hair, "is here."

"The future is now," Danny corrects her, but doesn't lose his smile, floating up to tuck a strand of her hair back behind her ear.

"The future is already here," Dan mumbles his correction, or is it a follow-up? "It's just not evenly distributed."

"How about you distribute some of those muscles, Gibson," Danny sighs, shaking his head "Waiting for puberty is such a drag, and we both know you didn't get the mass from Vlad's side of the family."

Dan makes a moue of disgust, but it serves him right. The consequences of his own actions, and whatnot. He looks up at Dani, who simply shrugs. "I think you'll do great." She leans down to give him two pats on the arm.

"So how's acting out A Christmas Carol gonna help us stop this Jason guy from blowing up?" Dani fiddles with Dan's hair, tongue poking out as she attempts a braid, "Will he even see us? Ghosts in this dimension taste funny."

"He'll be able to see us, it's magically rich enough for some ghosts to maintain a semblance of themselves," Danny explains for the third time. Dani and Dan hum at different pitches, and even though Danny is the common denominator he kind of hates that Vlad has more of a lasting impression on them. "The ectoplasm here is scarce and mostly corrupted, though, so it's rare."

"So there's lotsa bad ghosts here?" Dani eyes the messy braid she's made, proud, even as Dan's silky hair immediately causes it to fall apart, "Or 'mentally unsound' or whatever Frostbite called it."

"No," Dan grumbles, annoyed and indulging all at once, "Corruption begets ecto-rot, but the scarcity means they're not strong enough to actually retain their sense of self enough to rot."

"Shades," Danny explains when Dani looks even more confused, "There's lots of shades."

"Is this one of the Olympian dimensions?" Dani groans, flopping over Dan's shoulder as he sits down on the sofa, "I love Pandora and all, but if I see Zeus again I'm gonna lose it."

"It's one of the hero dimensions," Danny hums, taking over braiding Dan's hair the way Jazz made him when they were little, "There's a couple of Amazons walking about, but on the whole no Olympians."

"I don't know why he didn't just dump me in a Norse dimension." Dan leans back and closes his eyes to their ministrations. "Especially with my current occupation."

The three of them are sitting in Dan's apartment, a large loft studio located somewhere in the UK of the aforementioned hero-dimension. Alber-something, Danny can't remember. Doesn't need to, it being a different dimension from his anyway.

Dan doesn't have a lot of things: a sofa and TV, a bed in the corner, a decent but small kitchen. They're still trying to figure out decorations, but Dan on the whole is a minimalist so it's been slow going.

He's working as a bartender these nights, whiling away his odd existence now that his form has stabilized.

And wasn't that a trip? Learning that hey, adult lightning halfas shouldn't really be mixed with teenage ice halfas, actually!

Apparently, ectoplasm can become corrupted if you try to combine incompatible sources.

Apparently, side effects include (but are not limited to) unmitigated violence and a devastating need for vengeance.

Sound familiar?

"This dimension has a lot of time continuity errors," Danny reminds him, "Dropping you here gave the least amount of pushback."

"Yeah, yeah," Dan flaps a lazy hand, "Praise be the speedforce and flashpoints and whatnot."

"Plus," Dani adds softly, absent-minded as she watches Danny finish up the braid, "Lotsa heroes to help out if you relapse."

Dan heaves a slow, controlled sigh. Danny and Dani both pretend they don't notice.

"Is it bad?" Dan doesn't open his eyes, his voice is so low Danny can only hear him by virtue of his ghost powers, "Like me levels bad?"

"No." Danny shakes his head, leaning into his older self, his older brother of sorts, "He decapitated eight crime lords, killed a couple of assassins, maybe an innocent or two depending on your definition of things."

"Past tense?" Dan scrunches his nose. They all hate how confusing Time Shenanigans are.

"He's living as Red Hood, right this very moment."

"Red Hood?" Dani questions, "That his hero name?"

"Crime lord alias." Danny corrects her, "But he's more of a vigilante these days. Has a bat on his chest and everything."

"But it's bad enough to warrant a trip to the past." Dan points out, "Bad enough for us to try and persuade him. Does he relapse?"

"Not…exactly." Danny scrunches his face, not wanting to explain Clockwork's ambiguity.

Dani floats to spread over Danny and Dan's laps, sprawling out and purring like a cat. Self-soothing, though it's more for their benefit than hers.

"Like Dani said, there’re lots of heroes here, and he doesn't have powers." Danny continues, petting at Dani's soft hair, "The world doesn't end. He doesn't have the means to, even with the ecto-rot."

Danny pauses, and chooses his words deliberately and carefully. "And deep down, Jason Todd is a hero through and through. Relapse would be…difficult. His Obsession is similar to yours."

Dan lets that sit for a moment, but nods, Danny moving a little with the motion. The tension slowly bleeds out as they wait like that, enjoying each other's company.

"If the world doesn't end," Dani whispers, "Why is Clockwork sending all of us?"

Danny thinks on that, on his meeting with Clockwork. The Ancient's voice when he explained what would happen.

He thinks about Jason Todd, about Bruce Wayne, and Catherine, and Sheila. He thinks about Batman, and Robin.

He thinks about Dick Grayson and Tim Drake, about Damian Al Ghul, about Cassandra Cain, and all of Jason's Outlaws.

He thinks about a tattered uniform that stays up in a glass case for a long, long time.

Most of all, he thinks about Dan.

He thinks about regrets and one bad day away.

And then he stops thinking about it, because sometimes the past is the past, and other times, it's the future that never happens that haunts you instead.

"You know, Dani." He settles on, "I'm not sure. He probably has his reasons."

Dan leans heavier onto him, and they lean together like that, with Dani in their laps.

Ghosts of decisions made, unmade, and never to be.

Follow the story on AO3 here!

[suzukiblu]

So like, I don’t actually remember where I first saw the concept of soulmates getting access to each other’s superpowers but I very much needed to write something about it. Especially because that thought gave me some thoughts about how certain characters' origins/powers have gotten retconned, and welllll . . . We'll just call this WIP behind the cut here "soulmate superpowers".

The real problem with the marked increase in the global population of superpowered individuals both on Earth and in reality in general is what happens when they meet their soulmates. And the problem also depends, depending on the kind of soulmate. With romantic and platonic soulmates, the problem only happens on and off, which is much more manageable. 

Familial soulmates, though . . . for those the problem isn’t just “sometimes”, and therefore isn’t quite as “manageable”. 

Cadmus didn’t really tell Experiment Thirteen much about how soulmates worked, though, so when the full Kryptonian powerset only kicked in after the Kid met the real, original Superman for the first time . . . 

Well. He hadn’t known that was something he maybe should’ve thought a little more about, at the time.

.

.

.

“Wait up,” Serling Roquette says, staring down blankly at her tablet. She’s sixteen and crazy-weird and brand-new to Cadmus and showed up in wild clothes to apparently run the genetics department now that they’re under new management. Or something like that, Superboy guesses. He only signed on about five minutes before Roquette did, but she asked for a DNA sample to compare to his previous on-file samples and, like, cross-reference with them or whatever, he doesn’t know, he kinda stopped understanding what she was talking about by that point. “You’re supposed to have Kryptonian DNA in your setup?” 

“. . . uh,” Superboy says, because what kind of question is that? “Yeah? Like, no shit, doc, I didn’t get heat vision and ice breath from the human half.” 

Admittedly he is terrible with both of them, but he does have them. He just kinda avoids using them, is all. He fucks enough shit up with his TTK as it is; he doesn’t need to add frost damage and burny melty destruction on top of that. 

He’s thought about asking Superman for tips on ‘em a couple times, but he always feels real stupid when he does. Like, what kind of an even-only-half Kryptonian is he, if he can’t figure that shit out on his own? Superman did. And hell, even that asshole Henshaw did, and that prick isn’t even actually Kryptonian, he just– 

“This is human DNA, youngblood,” Roquette says, looking up at him. “Like, literally all human DNA. Real heavily augmented human DNA, we're talking ultra-crush gravity here, but like–you know, like somebody tried to forge the artist’s signature, but they didn’t actually think to use the right pen?” 

“What?” Superboy says blankly. 

“Do people not actually ever look at your DNA?” Roquette says. “Is that not a thing? You’re a clone, how are people not ever actually looking at your DNA?” 

“People look at it all the time,” Superboy says, still thrown off by what it sounds like she’s saying. That’s–he’s not–what is she saying? 

“Are they, like, mad stupid, then?” Roquette asks skeptically, wrinkling her nose and raising an eyebrow. “It’s literally the wrong pen. It’s the wrong ink. It’s not even a pen!” 

“I have literally no idea what you’re sayin’, Doc,” Superboy says, staring blankly at her. 

“I’m saying you’re about as Kryptonian as a human can get, which is literally zero point zero percent,” Roquette replies frankly, half-waving her tablet at him. “Whoever built you–” 

“Mostly Dabney Donovan, unfortunately,” Superboy says. 

“–okay, well, is Dabney Donovan as much of a lying shithead as I’ve always heard?” Roquette asks, waving her tablet at him again. “Because the data supports him being a lying shithead. He twisted your genes through a Kryptonian-shaped mold, maybe, but they’re still human genes. Fully and totally and like, seriously, does no one ever look at your DNA?” 

“I’m just human?” Superboy says blankly. “I–no I’m not! I have Kryptonian powers!” 

“Yeah, about that,” Roquette says. “No you don’t.” 

“What?” he says. She flips her tablet to face him; stabs a brightly-manicured nail emphatically at a bunch of figures and graphs he can’t understand at all. 

“You don’t have a single superpower except for tactile telekinesis,” she replies, frank and matter-of-fact. “None nada nothing and zip zilch zero. Genetically speaking, you are a highly-specialized highly-flexible telekinetic, but that’s it. That’s all you got in the playbook, youngblood."

Superboy stares at her. She keeps holding her tablet up like he’s gonna just suddenly magically understand what all the figures and graphs on it mean. 

“What?” he repeats, and feels like a fucking idiot about it. 

“When did you get the Kryptonian powers?” Roquette asks. “Like, did you come straight out the cloning solution with those, or . . . ?” 

“I didn’t get any yellow sun in development,” Superboy says, feeling–disconnected, sort of, and a little numb. What does–that doesn’t–he’s Superman’s clone. Like, only halfway, but– 

If he’s not Superman’s clone . . . is he just made out of that piece of shit Westfield, if . . . ? 

“Okay,” Roquette says. “So did you get the powers soon as you hit daylight, then?” 

“No,” he says. “I didn’t–not until–” 

When did they start kicking in? It took a few weeks or so, he knows. Maybe . . . maybe a little bit longer? It was– 

“Did it happen before you met Big Blue, or after?” Roquette asks real pointedly, and Superboy thinks he stops thinking, maybe. Just–everything in his head disappears all at once, and his mind goes totally blank, and . . . and he . . . 

“I’m not–I–” he tries to say, and doesn’t even know what he is trying to say. 

“Yeah,” Roquette says. “Like I said. You don’t have Kryptonian powers. You’ve got your soulmate’s powers.” 

Superboy stares at her for one more second, then bolts out of the lab without another word.

[v1rtualsalvat10n]

𓆩♡𓆪 for the first time

― luigi thinks of you in his cell. that's it that's the fic.

notes :: thank you for all the support to show my appreciation i would like to throw a rusty screwdriver into your hearts i love u guys!!

The thing they don't tell you about prison is that it's really cold.

No, seriously. It's really fucking cold, even here in NYC where it's already cold to begin with - it's like you're in the back of a deep freezer in a shitty jumpsuit, because you kind of are. It's cold enough that I have to curl up into a ball on my "bed", knees to my chest in order to try and stay warm.

And because I have nothing to do, I find myself staring at the white, emotionless wall, and doing that sort of thing is kind of a surefire way to get your mind to wander. One of the tried and true methods, if you will.

It's lonely here. Sure, the inmates like me, they're nice, but I mean... I'm not really in the mood to socialize with anyone. This whole ordeal has sucked the energy out of me. I've been being thrown around the country for days, ever since they found me.

I don't even want to think about what's happening outside of this place, either. I'm sure people have lots of thoughts and things to say about what I did.

I wonder if she saw it.

The news, I mean. Of course she saw it, who didn't? I bet her and all my old classmates and friends are probably talking about it, about me, what I'd done - right now. Trying to pick apart my motive, maybe grieving about the life I'd thrown away. Guess I had a lot ahead of me.

Can't help but wonder what she's thinking. I wonder if she's disappointed in me. Or maybe proud. Why am I thinking so much about what she thinks of me? It was one fling, from ages ago, I can't even remember when... at one of countless parties, and yet I still see how she looked underneath me so clearly.

It wasn't really just a fling. I talked to her about it - about how the system was falling apart (if it was ever together to begin with) and I felt the need to put all this privilege I'd been granted to good use. How I felt like I had to do something. She told me about herself, too, how she'd been fucked over time and time again and how she knew countless others who felt the same way.

Actually, yeah, we spent a lot of time together, thinking back on it. She'd come over on those cold winter nights I remember so fondly and we'd keep warm together, whatever way we could find. She was kind of... below me, I guess. Lower class. Not that I cared that much, though. Didn't make her any less of a lover.

And then I went radio silent. Then I figured out exactly what that thing I had to do was, and I put all my effort towards it. I didn't have time for love anymore. I had to take the chance I'd been given and fix things.

So I started leaving her on seen, stopped answering my door, even when she'd yell that she knew I was there, stopped showing up at the places I'd loved before, I stopped everything. Dropped off the map and left nothing but a ghost in my place.

She probably hates me.

I'd like to think that maybe this brings her solace... that maybe the idea that "it wasn't because you did something wrong" made her feel better, but I doubt it does.

When I get out of here, if I even do, she'll probably have forgotten all about me, because everybody forgets. I'll be old news by the time that day comes, and everything we did, everything we wanted to do - would just be a hazy memory.

I still remember seeing her for the first time. I remember the way her eyes pierced through my soul, and I remember how it made me feel inside.

I wonder if she remembers that too.

[katyawriteswhump]

hot chocolate for the soul 💝

@steddieholidaydrabbles day 23 prompt, ‘hot chocolate;’  @steddiemas week 4 prompt, ‘surprise,’ @whumpcember day 23 prompt, ‘overwhelmed.’

WC: 969; Rating: G; CW: None; Tags: fluff, found family, established steddie, mention of health conditions, Eddie lives HEA, soft everyone! Summary: Steve decides to surprise Eddie and Wayne with hot chocolate. He's got no idea of the emotional fireworks he’s going to unleash... (of the good variety!)

💝💝💝💝💝💝

Steve let himself in through the door, precariously balancing three hot-chocolate drinks. He was ridiculously proud that he’d got home with barely a slop. The cream and marshmallows hadn’t sunk totally flat yet.

“Honey!” Eddie rushed at Steve and plastered a wet kiss on his cheek. Steve almost yelped—okay, still no spillages. His coordination skills weren’t totally shot. “Mmmmm, mmmmm,” said Eddie. “That chocolate smells amazing, Babe. You shouldn’t have.”

“Yeah, I should’ve,” mumbled Steve. Eddie took the drinks, so he could slip out of his winter jacket. “I wanted to surprise you by doing something, I dunno, nice for a change? Sorry I was cranky this morning before work.”

“Huh? Didn’t notice.”

Eddie slipped his arm through Steve’s and led him to the kitchen area. Wayne stirred a big pan of bolognese sauce. He greeted Steve with a quiet ‘Hey,’ and a smile that could melt polar ice-caps.

“Hey,” smiled Steve, before plonking the drinks on the table and reverting his attention to Eddie. “What do you mean, ‘didn’t notice?’ You saying I’m always grouchy in the morning?”

“Wouldn’t have my bitchy darling any other way.”  Eddie pressed Steve into a chair then headed to help Wayne. “Seriously, though, you were fine.”

Steve inhaled sharply, his chest kinda catching—partially on the delicious odours from Wayne’s cooking, overwhelming even the hot chocolate, though mainly on the emotions surging inside him.

He had been cranky this morning. He’d had a bad headache for days. Eddie and Wayne didn’t deserve to be dragged down by him. Hell, post-Vecna-everything, the ‘powers-that-be’ might have compensated the Munsons with a nice little house, but they couldn’t cure Eddie’s chronic pain and regular panic attacks any more than they could fix Steve’s.

Yet, here Steve was. 

In the snuggest kitchen on earth, with his loving boyfriend and his kind uncle smiling down at him like he was sunshine itself. Then Wayne’s gaze alighted on the hot chocolate. He turned off the cooktop, his face turning deadly grave. 

“You brought that, son? For us?”

“Uh, yeah?” Steve was suddenly nervous. He swallowed hard, watching Wayne’s Adam’s apple bob as he apparently mirrored him.

Then Wayne pulled out a chair, sat down opposite Steve. His face crumpled, and he burst into tears.

“Shit!” squeaked Steve, glancing up at Eddie, who also looked mildly alarmed. “Did I do something wrong?" On instinct, Steve reached across the table to Wayne, who grabbed Steve’s fingers.

“No, no.” Wayne sniffed. “It’s just… I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. It’s just… t-this year, I thought I lost my sweet boy. I thought I lost everything, and now… h-here we are… all together… I got me two sweet boys to love. Two.”

“Oh,” said Steve, very softly, still kinda panicking for reasons he wasn’t sure of. Fortunately, Eddie had totally got this. He plonked himself at Wayne’s side, threw his arms around him, and joined him in sobbing his heart out.

Wayne had still gotten hold of Steve’s fingers, wringing them to the point of pain. Between hiccupping sobs, Eddie spluttered, “St-Steve… Stevie?” while flailing an arm toward Steve, gesturing wildly that he should join them.

Steve realized he was gawking, snapped his mouth shut. He felt it, he honestly did, his chest burning with love and gratitude. He also felt bad. Harringtons didn’t cry, and years of conditioning left their mark. That said, he’d cried a lot this last year, not all of it solo. 

He wasn’t a Harrington anymore. Not really.

He was a Munson, heart and soul. At least, he wanted to be… 

“Babe?” Eddie’s arm remained outstretched. Wayne’s pleading, watery eyes upon Steve were pretty much the final straw. Steve’s pent-up feelings surged upward… into a very slight sniffle.

Ding-dong!

Steve genuinely hated that he thought, Saved by the bell! 

“I’ll get that.” He dabbed his eyes.

It was Dustin and Claudia, who Wayne often invited to dinner. Steve endured an awkward moment, struggling to explain, as the Hendersons entered the kitchen to find the Munsons a bawling mess. Dustin looked up at Steve, utterly aghast, before Wayne rescued him. “St-Steve bought hot chocolate. What a thoughtful surprise. After everything this year, it was just so… so… darn…”

Claudia was already breaking. Within seconds, she and Dustin joined Wayne and Eddie in a four-way waterworks cuddle, leaving Steve standing, hands on hips, utterly bewildered. 

Okay, also grinning his face off through a faint sheen of tears. If the people he cared for were happy, he was. Wasn’t his fault they had a crazy way of showing it.

He really wanted ‘in’ on the hug, though. He felt more and more excluded and squirmy, though everyone entreated him to join them, between sputters and sniffles.

Ding-dong.

Steve dashed to the door. 

“Hey,” said Robin. “You were in such a mad rush to get hot chocolate before the diner closed, you forgot your pain meds, Dingus. Shit! Oh my God, who died?”

“Nobody.” Steve pinched his aching brow. “I think they’re happy. It was um… s-something… to do with the… d-dumbass hot… choc…” 

Robin didn’t cry much easier than Steve did. Once she set off, though, that was that. They piled into the six-way hug, sobbing till they were all pretty much cried out. Apart from Steve, who kept sniffling forever. 

His face burned. He figured he was embarrassed… until he realized he wasn’t, not really.

He felt okay.

Yeah, his head hurt, but he’d gotten it leaned lightly on Eddie’s shoulder, which was scarred but healing. Eddie was alive. They were all here, together, and safe, holding each other tightly, if only for this perfect moment. 

He loved them so much, and accepting so much love was really difficult, dammit. He was learning from the best.

They divided the cold hot chocolate into six mugs and laughed the evening away.

🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪💝💝💝💝💝💝

No pressure tags: @wheneverfeasible 💚❤️💚 My fic on ao3

[starkeymuse]

decode | rafe cameron | part two

summary: grace knew the outer banks were full of dangerous currents, but she never expected rafe cameron to be one of them.

warnings: mentions of violence.

this is a long one but i wanted to work on expanding my plot and the relationships more. enjoy!

✧ listen to: midnight love by girl in red ✧

grace's pov

the sunlight filtered through the trees around john b’s house, soft and golden, making everything feel deceptively peaceful. we were gathered on the porch, sprawled across mismatched chairs and cushions, the smell of sea salt and faintly burnt toast lingering in the air. i was seated cross-legged on the couch, a crinkled letter from denmark tanny balanced on my lap. my fingers absently traced over the faded ink, the curls of the handwriting worn smooth from age.

john b paced in front of us, his usual air of determination bubbling beneath his casual demeanor. kiara, sitting on the edge of a chair, looked like she might burst any second. i could almost hear the words she was holding back, the frustration radiating from her in waves. the sound of jj laughing at something pope had said in the background only partially registered as my mind wandered to the conversation from the night before with rafe.

"so, we know where the gold is,” john b said, his voice cutting through the chatter. “it’s not at the bottom of the ocean. it’s been hidden on tannyhill plantation all this time."

"no way,” i breathed, my pulse quickening. the idea of the gold being so close, right under our noses, was a lot to swallow.

“okay, but how are we supposed to get to it?” pope asked, leaning back and crossing his arms.

"we’re going to need sarah’s help with this. the original maps are in her house somewhere." john b. said, breaking me out of my thoughts.

i glanced over at sarah, sitting quietly across from me. i didn’t know what to make of her, not after everything kie has said about her. she was a kook, but something about her made me hesitate to lump her in with the rest of them.

kiara was the first to speak up, "wait a second. are you seriously suggesting we let her in on this?"

“yeah, i am,” john b said, meeting kiara’s glare head-on.

“you know,” kiara began, standing up so abruptly that her chair scraped against the floor, “i don’t remember taking a vote. this is our thing, a pogue thing. and now you’re just letting her in?”

john b sighed, running a hand through his hair. “kie, this isn’t just about being a pogue. it’s about finding the gold. sarah can help us."

“we were all fine until you brought her here!” kiara's voice grew louder, her anger boiling over. she took a step closer to him, eyes flashing.

my eyes flicked to sarah. she didn’t flinch, though her fingers tightened around the edge of her seat. the words were harsh, sure, but they weren’t entirely wrong. even if I didn’t agree with kiara’s anger, i was still trying to understand it.

"can you not talk about me like i’m not here?” sarah said, a tinge of annoyance creeping into her tone.

kiara’s lips pressed into a tight line, her eyes narrowing. “then leave,” she snapped, and i could see the walls going up again, just like that. the hurt was clear on kiara’s face, and i knew this wasn’t just about sarah. it was about feeling betrayed by john b, too.

john b stepped in, trying to de-escalate. “sarah’s my girlfriend now, okay? so maybe get used to it.”

"so, what? that makes it all okay?" kiara’s eyes practically shot fire as she turned on him. "did you know your brother, topper , and kelce jumped pope?" kiara shot at sarah, her voice loud and seething with anger. "those are your people, sarah. so don’t sit here and act like we’re all supposed to pretend you’re just one of us.."

sarah looked at john b, her eyes softening for a moment before she responded, “i told you."

kiara’s lips curled into a sneer. “told him what? that you’re a liar?”

sarah’s eyes flickered with annoyance. “no,” she shot back, her tone suddenly biting, “that you’re a shit talking bitch.”

jj and pope gasp and start pulling money out of their pockets as kiara and sarah continued their back-and-forth, the two lounged side by side on the couch, their eyes flicking between the two girls with a mix of amusement and curiosity. they leaned in closer, speaking in hushed tones as they exchanged sly grins.

jj nudged pope’s shoulder with his elbow, his voice barely above a whisper. "who you got? kie or sarah?"

pope smirked, leaning back slightly. "kiara’s got the aggresion right now, but sarah’s got that whole ‘rich girl calm’ thing going on. bet kiara’s the one who throws the first punch."

jj glanced over at grace, raising an eyebrow as he nudged her with his elbow. "come on, grace, bet with us. five bucks kie breaks something."

i rolled my eyes but couldn’t suppress a small grin. "you guys are ridiculous."

pope gave her a playful wink. "10 bucks kie punches her first."

i smirked, my arms crossed over my chest as i shook her head. "i’m not betting on this."

but then, i caught a glimpse of john b’s face, and everything else faded away for a moment. his expression was a mix of panic and helplessness, like he didn’t know how to fix this, like he was already bracing himself for it to all fall apart. his eyes flickered between kiara and sarah. he didn’t know what to do. he needed help. i could’ve stayed quiet, and let them hash it out themselves, but something about the way john b looked at me made me realize i couldn’t just sit here and watch it explode.

“alright, enough,” i said, cutting through the bickering with a sharpness i didn’t even know i had. i wasn’t yelling, but there was enough authority in my voice to stop both girls in their tracks.

“look, i get it. you guys don’t like each other. but this isn’t going to solve anything,” i said, trying to keep my voice even. “fighting about this isn’t going to get us closer to the gold.”

i took a deep breath and stepped a little closer to kiara, my voice softening. “i get why you’re mad. but this isn’t the time for this. we’re supposed to be a team. we can’t let this mess things up.”

for a moment, kiara looked like she was about to snap back, but then she sighed and ran a hand through her hair. “fine. whatever.”

without another word, she stormed off, the screen door slamming behind her with a force that rattled the whole porch.

jj let out a low whistle. “there she goes."

i didn’t know if i should go after her or let her cool down. but i wasn’t the one who was mad at sarah. i just couldn’t help but feel bad for kiara, watching her walk off in frustration like that, feeling not heard and betrayed.

“look, i had no idea pope was jumped,” sarah said, her words coming out slower, like she was thinking carefully about each one. “i’m really sorry.”

sarah’s apology hung in the air for a moment before pope spoke up, his voice softer than usual. “it’s okay, sarah. it’s not your fault.”

i couldn’t help but feel a little relieved at his words. it was a step toward peace, even if it was a small one. maybe things didn’t have to be as tense as they seemed.

but then, as if to shake off the last remnants of that uneasy feeling, i shifted uncomfortably in my seat, my thoughts drifting to last night. my encounter with topper and rafe. i hadn’t wanted to bring it up, but now it felt like it was sitting there, waiting to be acknowledged.

i let out a small sigh, meeting sarah's eyes briefly before speaking. i ran into topper and rafe last night," i muttered. 'topper grabbed me, but... rafe actually stepped in and stopped him."

sarah gave a small, tight-lipped smile, almost like she wanted to say something but held herself back. instead, she just nodded, and the group seemed to collectively exhale, ready to move on.

"well,” john b began, clearing his throat, “back to business. we need to get those maps."

marcy’s was a fixture on the island. named after paul’s late wife, it had been around for decades, a favorite for locals who wanted fresh seafood and tourists hoping to stumble upon a hidden gem. paul had poured everything he had into keeping it alive after marcy passed, and i’d been lucky enough to work there since i was barely fourteen.

paul had a way of handing out life advice when you least expected it. “grace,” he’d say, his voice gruff but kind, “sometimes you’ve got to let things simmer. rushing ruins the flavor.” he’d usually be talking about a chowder or sauce, but i’d long since learned he meant more than just food.

tonight, though, paul was gone, having handed me the keys hours earlier with his usual, “don’t forget to lock up, kid. and take home some damn leftovers.” before disappearing into the night. the restaurant felt different when it was empty, quieter, but not silent. it was like the walls still held onto the day’s laughter and chatter, leaving behind a hum of energy even after everyone was gone.

i was finishing up the last of my closing tasks, wiping down the counter, when the bell above the door chimed. my stomach flipped at the sound, i wasn’t expecting anyone this late.

“we’re closed,” i called out, setting the rag down and turning to the door. he looked out of place against the worn booths and framed photos of sunsets, his clean-cut appearance contrasting with the casual charm of marcy’s.

"i know," rafe replied.

he stood with his hands in his pockets, the faint light catching on the edges of his sharp jawline. his t-shirt clung just right against his frame. his jeans were perfectly worn, and for a brief, traitorous second, i thought he looked unfairly good.

i stared at him, heart pounding in a mix of surprise and irritation. “what are you doing here, rafe?”

he hesitated, like he wasn’t even sure himself. “you work here?”

i raised an eyebrow, the sarcasm slipping out before i could stop it. “no, i just wear the apron for kicks.”

“yeah, obviously i work here,” i added, shaking my head in disbelief.

he rolled his eyes at my response, but a smirk was tugging at the corner of his lips.

"we're closed. take the hint." i said, gesturing to the empty restaurant.

"grace, wait-“ he said, moving further into the room.

“no, seriously.” i dropped the rag on the counter, irritation flooding through me. “you think you can just show up here after midsummers and—what? make small talk? you’re unbelievable.”

i noticed for the first time how much the weight of his usual arrogance had disappeared. it wasn’t a look i was used to seeing on him. silence stretched between us, only the low hum of the restaurant lights breaking the stillness. he took a small step closer, but i didn’t back away. he could’ve walked out right then and left me alone, but he didn’t. instead, his eyes met mine and held them, looking like he was searching for something, anything that would make me understand.

“i wanted to apologize,” he said finally, the words hanging heavy in the air.

i blinked, caught off guard by the bluntness of it. “what?”

he let out a short breath, like he was bracing himself. “i’m serious,” he said, his voice lower now. “about pope. About what i did or didn’t do. i… i should’ve stopped it.”

my chest tightened, and for a second, i felt like i couldn’t breathe. part of me wanted to laugh, to brush it off like I always did, but there was something in his face that made it hard to ignore. i felt guilty for noticing it, for even listening to him right now. as if by giving in, even a little, i was betraying my best friends.

"you can’t undo what happened, rafe,” I said, my voice tight.

“I know,” he muttered, looking away like my words had physically hit him. "you think i don't know that? i've been trying to pretend like it’s nothing, but…" he trailed off, shaking his head. "i hate myself for it."

i swallowed hard, the weight of his confession sitting in my chest. hearing him say it didn’t fix anything. but something in me shifted—cracked, maybe. i wasn’t used to seeing rafe like this—unguarded, honest. my gut twisted, caught between the anger i wanted to hold onto and something i still couldn’t name.

"why are you telling me this?" i asked, softer now, the words slipping out before i could stop them.

he looked back at me, his blue eyes searching mine, like he was hoping i could see past the mess of him. "because i think you're the only person who might actually believe me."

i didn’t know how to respond to that. rafe had always been this untouchable figure in my life, reckless, entitled, the kind of guy you hated without thinking twice. but right then, in the dim light of the empty restaurant, he seemed… different. i felt something stir in me that i didn’t want to acknowledge. it made my chest tighten.

i took a deep breath, trying to push that feeling down. "you can’t expect me to just forgive you," i said, the words more cold than i wanted them to be. i didn’t want to be nice. i didn’t want to let him in, even just for a moment. not when everything in me screamed that it would be a betrayal to my friends, to pope, especially.

“i don’t,” he said quickly, shaking his head. “i don’t expect anything, grace. i just… i needed you to know I’m sorry.”

i watched him for a long moment, the weight of his words pressing down on me. i sighed, brushing a hand through my hair. i didn’t know what to do with the part of me that wanted to believe him.

"go home, rafe," i said finally, my voice soft, but still firm. my hands trembled slightly as i crossed my arms again, the walls coming back up, again.

he looked at me for a beat longer, like he was hoping for something, anything from me. but when i didn’t say anything else, he nodded.

“goodnight, grace,” he murmured.

i didn’t respond. i just watched him turn, heading back toward the door, his footsteps echoing in the empty restaurant.

but then, before he fully stepped out, he paused. something shifted in his posture as he turned back toward me, eyes locking with mine again. there was an unreadable expression on his face, like he hadn’t quite said everything he needed to.

"oh, and topper’s a fucking idiot. everything he said? it's not true." he hesitated for a moment, then glanced back at me, his expression softening. "far from it."

with that, he turned, the door swinging shut behind him, his footsteps fading into the night.

i shook my head, muttering to myself, trying to push the thoughts away. "this is ridiculous," i whispered. but deep down, i knew it wasn’t just going to go away. not yet, at least.

turning back to the counter, i grabbed the rag i’d left behind and started wiping it down absently. the quiet of the night pressed in on me, but all i could hear now was the soft echo of his voice: "far from it."

denial is a river in egypt @ grace ;)

i hope you enjoyed this part! i enjoyed writing it. i love awkward rafe

please like and comment if u want, no pressure. <3333 mwah. stay tuned for part 3 soon.

[icycoldninja]

FLUFFCEMBER DAY#21: (Idia x Reader)

Save me

Oh man.

Oh man.

What were you thinking? What kind of delusional high were you on when you asked Idia to come with you to a friend's Christmas gathering? You should have known better, especially since that friend of yours had promised a "fun" "wild" party with loud music and lots of people. Seriously, that description alone should have told you this place was not for Idia, not at all. You had to have been drunk when you begged him to come with you, that's the only answer that doesn't destroy your confidence in your own intelligence.

"Where are you?" You mumbled, mostly to yourself. Half of you hoped he would hear you and emerge from the crowd of chattering bodies; the other half was sure he wouldn't. Why would he? He was probably terrified out of his mind, lurking in the corner curled up in the fetal position and crying. Even if he caught sight of you maneuvering through the room, he likely wouldn't have the courage to leave his hiding place.

"Idia?" You shouted in vain, the booming beats of a vaguely familiar EDM track drowning out your words. The subwoofers continued barking; the bass vibrated in the floorboards beneath your very feet. "Idia! Can you hear me?"

A woman standing next to you who was tipsy on spiked punch heard your cries and turned around to ask you if anything was wrong.

"I'm looking for my friend," You told her, hoping she wasn't too drunk to help you. "He's about this tall, kinda pale, got pointy shark teeth, and has bright blue hair that looks like it's made of fire--well it is, but most people don't believe us when we tell them that--and he's got a big jacket on. Have you seen him?"

The woman gaped at you for five whole seconds before slowly shaking her head and making her way back to the punch table.

"Well, she was no help," You grumbled bitterly, continuing to push through the congregation of swaying people, squinting into the neon-illuminated darkness, looking for any signs of your partner. You debated calling his name again, and after a few moments of internal discussion, decided against it since it was pointless, and kept searching quietly. Then you caught sight of a flicker of bright blue that glowed like eerie fire from a ghostly candle, the kind you normally only find sitting around in Halloween.

"Idia, there you are!" You couldn't help but hiss, as you bounded over to the source of the flickering blue flames. Sure enough, there he was, sitting on the floor, his nose buried in not a book, but a glowing game console, his pale skin given a sickly glow by the white-appearing bluelight. He didn't notice you approaching him at all, not until you knelt down and gently flicked his forehead.

"Oh, hey," He droned emotionlessly. "Nice of you to come visit me." His words were dripping with sarcasm, a fact proven in the little eyeroll he gave you before returning to his game.

"Now stop that," You began, before catching yourself and realizing how nagging you were beginning to sound. "Look...uhh.." You found yourself scratching your head, unsure of how to proceed. "I'm sorry, for dragging you here. I really shouldn't have asked you to come, but I see now that this was a mistake, and--hey, are you listening to me?"

Judging from the vacant, almost lifeless expression in Idia's eyes, no, he wasn't.

Blowing out an irritated sigh, you placed your hands on your hips and began pacing back and forth in front of him, trying to work out a plan of action. You could try to drag him away, but he looked pretty comfortable in that spot, and since his fingers were mashing buttons like crazy, he was in the middle of something so important, he might get mad if you interrupted him. Then again...he was so invested in his game, he might not even notice you pulling him away until you were already back home. Oh, what to do, what to do?

"Save me already, what are you waiting for?" Idia suddenly mumbled, though it was unclear whether he was talking to the game or you. You decided to seize the opportunity, blame it on miscommunications if he got upset, grabbed his arm, pulled him to his feet, and dragged him towards the exit. Surprisingly, no one noticed the unusually tall, pale man with flaming blue hair who was swearing at his game console while literally being towed to the door. Ah well, it's all for the best.

[sketchehm]

[ #my guess if that Serpias wanted to kill the guy much earlier#like. when he asked Sapnap about the numbers there was this sharp clever glint in his eyes and then this dickhead RUINED IT#no one outside the mafia should be able to precieve or talk to Sapnap ever Serpias thinks#Sapnap has been trained to stand his ground and not escalate a situation because in Dream's family everything was like defusing a bomb#cuts had to be precise and you couldn't be picking fights#here Team Mafia *really* wanna see Sapnap kill a guy with his bare hands and teeth#also. aughhhh Sapnap probably hates talking sooooo much.#because Dream also really valued his opinion but he didnt need to *talk*#he would just look at him and Dream would get it#but now he has to explain everything and its clunky and bad. so he talks less ] @rat-rosemary

[ #aaaaa i want to see the rest of team mafia too for their reactions about sapni#i bet they would cheering sapnap if he kill a guy and sapnap is confused af if he messep up or something ] @lazy30

Hello hi guys hehe

SO! The Team did actually call dibs to see who would get to watch Sapnap kill first. They’re excited by it! 

(Shadoune saying he already won cause he’s watched Sapnap beat people to death in some of the underground fights, but that doesn’t count. Shadoune fights with them that it does. No one listens to him lmao)

Sapnap is in… “training”…..with them for about a month, learning how the Team works and getting to know everyone. (That month is all he needs to fall in love with them….) However, actually going out onto the field is a whole different story.

Serpias did end up winning the Team’s gambling match to get Sapnap’s first kill haha. The asshole they’re going out to meet was already marked for dead, they found out that he’s been scamming some of the lower associates and Serpias was already tasked to investigate and take the guy out. Sapnap is just his +1 hehe (None of this is explained to Sapnap…which proves to be the cause of many issues…)

So Sapnap was kinda right in thinking this was a kind of “training”. He didn’t…fail per say. Serpias just got pissed off and couldn’t hold back.(That's /his/ Sapni. Its what he tells the others, he couldnt help himself.) Though, Serpias will report back to the other guys and says that Sapnap was extremely passive for most of the interaction. Which is…not the Sapnap they’ve gotten to know so far. He’s loud and cocky. Yes he’s smart and they know he could take on a more leadership position if he keeps learning under them directly (they know he was in charge of his own division at the least when with Dream, so they know he can hold those kinds of responsibilities). They think maybe just cause it was his first time? (They know that’s not true. Especially Serpias, having witnessed Sapnap speak with the bastard..Sapnap was way more professional than he’d given him credit for. It’s not what they’re looking for in him though.)

After a few times of going out with the guys and Sapnap not…being their reactive aggressive attack dog, they just start putting him in more….dangerous situations. Nothing they know will harm him seriously, but they need to see what actually gets him to /kill/. They’re eager for it, almost desperate. They’re all killers, Shadoune knows for sure Sapnap is one too. But they’re wondering if maybe that’s just not the kind of guy Sapnap might be? There seems to be a kind of switch flipped in Sapnap whenever they go out on business with him…

Sapnap…well he can tell something’s up. And he feels like he’s doing something wrong….He’s still not exactly used to how they operate, he’s not used to tagging along and having to speak up as well too…He assumes it’s them trying to get him to learn Spanish faster, but he’s shy and hates the idea of stumbling on his words and embarrassing not only himself, but whoever he’s tagging along with. And every outing he’s a part off, the other guy is always an asshole, there seems to be no shortage of them. He wonders if it's because the Team’s territory is so much larger and that’s why there just seems to be more idiots they have to deal with…The Team are the only group he’s comfortable talking back to (when the time calls for it) and just being himself. He’s had years of learning on how to act when with dealers and opposing mafiosos. It was always a pain having to tiptoe and figure out what dance each guy wanted. And its even worse here cause he doesn’t even understand what the other party will be saying. He misses Dream the most during this. Dream was always so much better at speaking than him, always knew what Sapnap wanted to say and expressed it for him…..

Sapnap did pick up on the pattern that anytime he’s with someone from the Team and they’re out to meet some other asshole, the guy ends up dead. Maybe it's his fault? Maybe he can’t get his words out correctly and the business deals fall flat cause of it? Sapnap has seen his fair share of corpses, caused many deaths himself, but it feels odd. He feels guilty.

He also picked up on the pattern that he seems to be a sort of punching bag at these meetings. Not a physical one per say… It’s never to whoever he’s with, only he seems to be the target. He can understand most insults and while it seems to be just common to use them every other word, the opposing person always seems to be directly insulting or mocking him. He tries not to mind. Though it does start to get to him, wondering if the Team are doing this on purpose. Maybe he isn’t their beloved guard dog….these meetings are just a reminder he’s only a mutt to them, useless…and then they force him to talk just to add onto the embarrassment…

The Team are slowly noticing Sapnap becoming more reserved even with them. The worst they’ve seen Sapnap do is break someone’s wrist after they tried to take a punch at him, but never kill. (He even refused to leave his room after that meeting too. They all were distressed.) Anytime a gun was pulled on Sapnap, he always managed to disarm the person and asked for the meeting to continue. It was extremely frustrating for the Team.

They decide maybe enough with taking him out. There’s something they’re clearly not figuring out. It’ll be Shadoune and Conter who end up actually speaking with Sapnap and asking about everything. But Sapnap is not….the best with his words in English either…. When with Dream and George, they all just /knew/. It was from years of growing up together. Sapnap doesn’t know how to explain himself and ends up just saying he’s….shy….he won’t tell them about his anxieties, he thinks its dumb, he rarely ever shared them with Dream or George.

“Ah! Espera, yo pienso que está estresado porque cada compromiso ya está marcado a fallar, y él no lo sabe.”

When the two reveal to Sapnap they’re not gonna be taking him out anymore, it's basically confirming his anxieties. They’re gonna kick him out cause he’s worthless. He’s gonna have to return to Dream empty handed too, having failed him as well….Sapnap can feel himself spiraling. He begs for another chance. He’ll practice his Spanish more, he can make a deal go well, he promises!

Conter says something to Shadoune that Sapnap doesn’t understand at all. Shadoune looks like he’s realized something as well…

Shadoune chuckles before saying, “Ya, ya, entiendo. Pues..que vaya con Farfa mañana, no?”

Sapnap recognized something about tomorrow and Farfa…? He’s never been out with Farfa before. Fuck if they’re sending him out with Farfa that’ll be worse he thinks….

”Farfadox…?”

They both look at him. He feels nervous.

“Yea, tomorrow. It will be good for you!” Conter looks excited by this. Shadoune is nodding in agreement.

”O-okay.” He won’t refuse an order. Not right now. Not when he’s feeling…like /this/. He won’t fail Farfa tomorrow. He swears it to himself….

And when the time finally comes, it’s… easier…? Farfa is making sure Sapnap knows what’s happening in this meeting. Explaining everything in English. But isn’t asking him for an opinion. He’s not being asked to speak. It’s such a relief.

The meeting is wildly different to what he’s used to. Everyone is curt, straight to the point. There is no yelling or arguing, the opposing party barely looks at him, he’s practically ignored. He counts his blessings.

Sapnap is trying to calculate everything in his head and tries to take note to as much as he can….There’s a small detail he notices that he thinks Farfa may have missed. It must mean nothing but….it’s screwing with his internal calculations, something is /wrong/. He doesn’t think these type of people would try to wrong Farfa either…? The environment is so different from what he’s been going through recently, nothing wrong is /happening/, its all so professional, like when he accompanies Dream…but even Dream has missed some vital but almost ignorable detail in contracts before. 

“Farfa…?” He interrupted the two. They were speaking about something, he thinks the meeting was about to close…? But…he needs to make sure first. 

Farfadox is looking at him, expectedly. Not annoyed, patient, it helps builds Sapnap’s confidence. He can do Farfa proud.

“El…uh. Uno dos tres cuatro cinco... says….siete..? El siete uh pa...page? Es mal. Número malo? I think…?”

He gets through his broken spanish and looking from his hands where he was trying to recall his numbers, looks back at Farfa. There’s a small grin on Farfa’s face. Sapnap feels like a kid…..

Farfa understood though. He goes to the 7th page of the contract, its the one that had a listing for some new drug Sapnap has never heard of. But he swore the listing for weight compared to the amount of product they were supposed to receive for their men to sell was…off? And that caused the pricing to skew drastically in his head. He looked over Farfa’s shoulders, reading the numbers himself to make sure he wasn’t wrong and he wasn’t! 

He pointed to the discrepancy, “Aquí! Aquí!”

He noticed Farfa’s brows frown. He looked back at the dealers. So did Sapnap. They were looking at Sapnap, angry. Oh. Did he mess this up again….? Surely not though…

Farfa starts talking, his voice is louder than it was before. It booms. The dealer is raising his voice too, Sapnap assume’s trying to justify the error or something. Now they’re arguing. Fuck, he really does just cause issues….

He’s watching the dealer. He’s furious, his face is red and staring at Farfa. He’s cursing, Sapnap can tell. Farfa is looking back at the contract, continuing to argue. He notices…the dealer’s hands are going into his jacket….

His head is yelling DangerDangerDangerDANGER.

It’s dead quiet now.

Sapnap shoots. Not even realizing he’s taken his own gun out. 

”Sapnap.” He jumps and drops his gun. He’s fucked it up again. It’s worse now. He /killed/ someone. He wasn’t ordered to. He hasn’t been ordered to kill anyone this entire time and now he fucked it up. Oh fuck. Oh /fuck/.

”/Sapnap/.”

There’s hands on his face, “Mira me, mira Sapnap. Respira, breathe.” He’s locking eyes with Farfa now. His hands are gentle. Farfa is smiling.

”He was- He was gonna shoot. He- I saw him. He-“

“Ya, ya. Te creo.” Farfa believes him. Good. Good… Farfa is so nice to him right now. He’ll take it. He knows he’s in trouble. He’ll soak it all in. Before…before whatever punishment they decide (He hopes it’ll just be a punishment. He hopes it isn’t worse)

“Good job. Buen perro.” Sapnap lights up. Oh. Oh! He knows that means he did good. Like really good! They rarely ever say that to him. He doesn’t think he’s ever heard Farfa say it himself.

Its crazy how all his worries seem to vanish from the past few weeks. Like just that small reassurance was all he needed. He did good. He smiles.

“Hermoso.”

Sapnap doesn’t know that word.

“Casa?” He asks instead. Farfa laughs.

Sapnap will be getting settled to go to bed when the rest of the members rush into his room(except Spreen he realizes. But he’s at the doorway with Farfa smiling at him). They’re basically dogpiling him. Cooing at him and hugging him and petting and praises and kissing and snuggles and he doesn’t understand, he doesn't get it. 

He slowly realizes they’re all congratulating him. His first kill. His first kill? He tries to tell them he’s killed before. They don’t listen to him. They start talking about setting up a fight with him, so they could all watch next time. Sapnap feels his face getting red. They're all gushing over him....But! He feels like its been forever since they’ve all mobbed him like this. He feels so warm. 

(The next morning he gets breakfast in bed. It all feels very silly to him)

[spiderdetentionaire]

Young Goetia is huddled next to Lilith who is trying to comfort the teenager. And in the process Octavia receives what is known as affection from a mother figure.

Octavia: Seriously, I heard her. Besides wanting to kill my dad, she wants to kill me *wipes away tears and looks at the Sins* And it's all your fault! You took my father's powers away.

Mammon: Okay. We fucked up, yeah. And we're paying the consequences, what else do you want from us?

Lucifer takes a pillow from Belphegor that she used to get some sleep, and buries his face in it to start throwing a tantrum to vent the anger that he doesn't hide at all.

Belphegor: Brother, calm down.

Lucifer: Do you see what you caused, you bunch of idiots? Now this girl is in danger *presses the bridge of his nose, even though he doesn't have one* Tell me kid, where do you think your father could be?

Octavia: Well, the only place I think about is my friend Loona's house. And she lives with her adoptive father, Blitzø *turns to look at Beelzebub* She told me about you and said you were friends, why didn't you do anything to help?

She was going to answer but Satan intervenes.

Satan: Very well. It was my fault, okay? Is that what you wanted to hear? I screwed up the most than them, okay?

Lucifer: Well, that's a first step to admit your mistake… Amenadiel.

Satan: *gets upset* That's not my name anymore… Samael.

Lucifer: *thinks a bit* Let me see, that Blitzø lives in the Imps' neighborhood, right? *Octavia nods* Ah, damn myself. I'll have to go through that angry mob again. I'll have to modify the Hierarchy and do what my beloved wife suggested. So Sinners, I'm sorry but now you'll be at the bottom of Hell.

Angel: Great.

Lucifer heads for the door to leave, feeling the gazes of the Sins.

Lucifer: *sighs* Okay, you can go back to your rings now. And yes, I'll leave them clean for you. But if you do something stupid like that again, you'll see what's going to happen to you. I have plenty of imagination for punishments. *opens the door, but Alastor stops him* What do you want, Bambi?

Alastor: Wait, Your Majesty. I can't let you go to that place alone after your humiliating event. So you must be accompanied by someone who supports you. Someone who watches your back. So… Charlie, go and accompany your father.

Charlie: For a moment I thought I had achieved something with you Alastor. Thanks because I thought I was dreaming *said somewhat disappointed* Come on, dad. Let's look for that Goetia.

The King and Princess leave the hotel in search of Stolas. Meanwhile, Octavia is still sad and can't stop hugging Lilith.

Octavia: Please excuse me, Queen Lilith. I just needed this.

Lilith: Poor little thing. It seems you never had a mother's love *in her mind* Although I'm no better mother than she is.

Octavia: Try as I might, I can't remember a time when she's ever done anything for me or shown genuine love. It was always me and my dad.

Curiosity overtook Lilith.

Lilith: Nothing? Not even a small detail from her or a simple "I love you, my beloved daughter"?

Octavia: Just for show.

Lilith's "Mama Bear" mode turned on. She gently separated from Octavia and headed for the door.

Vaggie: Ma'am, where are you going?

Lilith: I think I'll go have tea with this girl's mother and have a warm chat with her *and left the hotel*.

Husker: Now she's pissed *goes to the six sins* So you're fallen angels?

Satan: Why would we respond that to a sinner?

Angel: Okay. Charlie's dad brought you here to insult us, or what? Besides, you can go back to your rings now. Why are you still here?

Vaggie: I think I know why. *addresses the Sins* Charlie told me a lot about you. About how her aunts and uncles took care of her when she was a little girl. I guess that's why you haven't left yet. You want to spend more time with her.

The six of them exchange glances, Vaggie isn't wrong, they enjoy Charlie's positive attitude and joy. They even like the Hotel, they like what she achieved and what she wants to achieve even though it seems impossible.

Mammon: It's true *he admitted* She's a special girl.

Asmodeus: Yes. It's just that we didn't know what time would be right to spend time with her.

Satan: It seems like she's fine without us.

Belphegor: I remember when I made myself a giant and she slept in my wool when she was a baby.

Leviathan: *both heads talk at the same time* Although we think she might need help with her plan. She wants to redeem the sinners to avoid exterminations, the problem is that she wants to redeem them all when that's impossible. If anything she could only redeem some, only if they want redemption. But not everyone deserves it.

Octavia: *a little calmer* Once, when we were still a family, let's say functional, we watched your commercial on TV.

-FLASHBACK-

It was a quiet morning where the Goetia family was having breakfast when on TV they showed a commercial about a place in Hell founded by the Princess of this same Hell to redeem sinners so that they go to Heaven and thus avoid the annual exterminations.

Stolas: That… sounds like an interesting idea.

Stella: Pfff! Please. Does the little princess really think that sinners will want to go to her hotel or whatever to be better? They are just scum that enjoy being here.

Octavia: Well, at least she tries to do something. I mean, her father lets those angels come here and cause a massacre every year. I have even lost some friends.

Stella: Honey, they are souls that chose to be here and now they must suffer the consequences like the scum that they are. I have also told you to look for friends more on our level.

Stolas: I think Octavia has a point. I even know sinners that deserve a second chance. Sure, there are a few of them, but…

Stella: Ha! Of course. The day that girl manages to get a sinner to go to Heaven, then I'll… Umm… *thinks a bit* I can't think of anything. But that won't happen *puts food in her mouth* Nuh uh.

Stolas: Don't talk with your mouth full, please.

-END OF FLASHBACK-

Vaggie: We'll make Stella eat her words. But you're right. And I tried to make her see that but I was looking for a way to do it.

Then the Sins exchange glances and nod to each other.

Bee: Araqiel.

Alastor: Excuse me, your highness?

Bee: That was my name before the fall. Araqiel.

Asmodeus: Semyazza.

Mammon: Gadreel.

Leviathan: *both heads* Tamiel.

Husker: And did you always have two heads?

Leviathan: *both heads* We had one. But when we got the power of Hell that head split into two and two were formed.

Belphegor: *yawns* Azazel.

In the end everyone sees Satan, who at first regrets the idea but gives a hot sigh.

Satan: You just heard it *groans* Amenadiel.

Mammon: Considered as Father's favorite son. Although I think it's Michael now.

Satan: Don't start. And we weren't just angels, we were archangels. The best archangels God has ever had among his children. Hmmp! I'm the oldest of all and Samael is the one who punishes us and all that.

Bee: I wonder how Lucifer and Charlie are doing with that Goetia.

Mastermind Aftermath (ft. Lilith)

Charlie was watching TV with her mom when suddenly they show a summary of the trial.

Charlie: Oh shit.

Lilith: If your father sees this…

Lucifer arrives with a bowl of popcorn.

Lucifer: Hi my loves, what are you watching?

When he sees the summary on TV he drops the bowl to the floor. And although he seemed to be smiling, he was actually very pissed off with his horns visible.

Charlie: Dad?

Lucifer: I'm sorry but I have to take care of some things to do.

And without further ado he disappears.

An hour later. Vaggie turns on the TV and…

Vaggie: Puta madre!

Everyone is going to see the gossip.

666 News: Breaking news! Lucifer beats the shit out of the sins. Just like you hear it. The king of Hell made it snow in the ring of Wrath, put limits on consumption in the ring of Gluttony, put 100% discounts in the ring of Greed, applied parental control in the ring of Lust, made everyone happy with what they have in the ring of Envy and prohibited sleeping at all hours and laziness in the ring of Sloth. And now he is reportedly looking for the former prince Stolas to give him back all his power. The king of Hell was interviewed and this is what he said.

Lucifer: It's just not fair. I'm helping in my daughter's project, and these people are causing a mess with a lawsuit behind my back… it's not fair.

Reporter: Will things go back to normal in the other rings after what he did?

Lucifer: Until further notice and when I say so. And no more questions. I'm looking for Stolas.

Husk: He's pissed off.

Angel: Look what it says on my phone. It says that Charlie's dad has taken control over the rings and sent the sins to a specific place until he gets over with their mess and gets over his anger.

Lilith: And where does he plan to send them?

The hotel bell rings. Niffty goes quickly and comes back quickly.

Niffty: Charlie, they're looking for you.

Charlie goes and finds her uncles and aunts all scolded and punished.

Mammon: Your dad sent us here.

Beelzebub: And he will be in control of our rings until he says so. And all because of you, Satan!

Azmodeus: As some Imps would say: You fucked up!

---

In Stella's house, she throws the remote to the T.V. breaking it after seeing the news. Needless to say, she's just as pissed off as the time she found out Stolas was cheating on her with an Imp. Right next to her is her brother.

Stella: He can't do that, right?

Andrealphus: Oh dear sister *he takes a sip of his tea* Of course he can! Is fucking Lucifer we're talking about. Didn't you see what he did to the Sins?! Of course he can return your ex his powers.

Stella: *growls in frustration* And to think that all my plans are finally coming to fruition, only for that damn dwarf to show up and ruin everything. And yes, it is Lucifer we are talking about.

Under the table, as if it were a cartoon…

Andrealphus: But what a clever and original comment.

Whatever. Stella pulls out a huge folder with many plans against Stolas to claim absolute power. Andrealphus sees the folder and is shocked to see Octavia's photo in it.

Andrealphus: Are you thinking of plotting to kill your own daughter? Would you be capable of such a thing?!

Stella: Andrealphus! What are you saying?! OF COURSE I am capable, but it's not the time yet, silly. One step at a time.

Suddenly, she closes the folder and makes it disappear into a strategic location.

Stella: There's no other option. We have to kill Stolas before His Highness gives his powers back. *she laughs evilly*

Andrealphus: Let me think in a good plan for it. But I assure you, it will be done as you wish, my hot sister.

Brother and sister laugh evilly and madly, as if they were two kookaburras, and Andrealphus turns his head back maniacally.

Stella: But now I must step into my role as a devoted mother and go see Octavia to her room and tell her to come for dinner. That girl is skin and bones.

As Stella leaves, Andrealphus sees a picture of Stolas with a malicious look.

Andrealphus: I hope you've enjoyed your pathetic Imp, Stolas. Because soon you'll be--

Stella: Andrealphus!!

The ice bird gets up from his seat and runs towards his sister's scream. When he arrives, he finds Stella standing in Octavia's bedroom doorway.

Andrealphus: What's happening?!

Stella: Octavia's gone!

The young Goetia had escaped and took everything she could with her; clothes, phone, etc. Seeing the scene, Stella becomes thoughtful until she concludes something.

Stella: Changes of plans, brother. We have to kill her, too.

---

It had been about 5 hours since Lucifer left to look for Stolas. At the Hotel Charlie does everything possible to make her uncles and aunts feel comfortable, which is not easy since they already have a state of life and comfort zone already established. And of course, there was no lack of criticism or at best certain observations about the redemption plan that she wants to impart in her Hotel and the possible failure that this can entail.

But all that is interrupted when Lucifer appears at the main door all hurt, his clothes torn and tired. Lilith takes him to their room at the Hotel to take care of his wounds, for example she cleans the wounds on one of his legs.

Lucifer: Hey hey hey it burns it burns.

Lilith: It's incredible that you, being the king of hell, a simple demon, could have done this to you.

Lucifer: Demons in plural. And if I ended up like this it's because they piled up against me.

Lilith: Well, what kind of demons were they?

Lucifer: Imps.

Lilith: *not believing it* IMPS?!

Lucifer: But with impressive forces. I don't understand how they could do this to me. As if I had done something to harm them.

Lilith: Well, maybe it was because you put them at the lowest bottom of the Hierarchy in Hell.

Lucifer: Maybe that's why, right?

Lilith: I told you that that place was meant for Sinners.

Then Mammon appears at the door.

Mammon: Dear sister-in-law, are you still going to take your time to heal the wounds of poor Luci who was attacked by some fierce Imps? *laughs* Speaking about losers, bro.

Lucifer: Laugh, you fatso. I'd like to see you face those Imps who seemed to be full of sterols.

Lilith: Why do you say that?

Lucifer: Because the poor bastards jumped so high that they would surpass Sera's height... And how do you know they were Imps?

Mammon: They are broadcasting your humiliating event on Vox TV.

Lucifer: Damn bootleg plasma TV. Not only satisfied with trying to ruin our daughter's project... I'm going to close down his business and his partners' to see if he finds it funny.

Lilith: Mammon, why don't you kindly ask Niffty to prepare you something to eat *takes out a sewing needle* while I sew it up?

Lucifer: Are you going to sew my wounds with that needle?!

Lilith: No, your pants.

Lucifer: Ahhh

Lucifer takes off his torn pants. And yes, hus underwear has printed ducklings.

Lilith: And you, Mammon, go and ask Niffty for something to eat.

Mammon: Greaaaaaat. Okay, Luci, I'm leaving because my hunger is as fierce as some dangerous Imps *laughs again and leaves*

Lucifer: Let's see if you keep laughing, knowing that I control your ring.

Lilith: Please, Luci. Don't be angry anymore.

Lucifer: And how could I not be angry after the stupid thing they did behind my back? Speaking of stupid things, what an idiot I am for not having found Stolas yet, Oh My Father. I've already checked every corner of the rings and that Goetia doesn't appear. Well...

Lilith: Well, what?

Lucifer: I checked every corner, except the Imps' zone when they attacked me. And I'm still an idiot because it is said that he is having an affair with an Imp.

Lilith: The ex-prince of the Goetia having an affair with an Imp? This has become a soap opera.

Lucifer uses his magic to dress himself in better clothes and leaves the room. In the lobby, the rest of the sins, including Alastor, did not hide their desire to laugh after seeing on television how some simple Imps attacked the king of Hell.

Lucifer: Keep laughing, you fuckers. You won't see your rings in a long time. But now I have better things to...

But when he opens the doors of the Hotel to leave again, he finds a young Goetia about to knock on the door. It seemed that the girl was crying.

Octavia: King Lucifer?

Lucifer: Umm... yes?

Octavia: I need your help.

[egophiliac]

How do you imagine Levan/Revan/ Mallenoa's husband?

Appearance, personality etc.

Revaan/Laverne/whatever-his-name-is's title sort of implies that he might be from a fantasy-Eastern country (they've established that in Twstland, 竜 = Eastern-style dragons, andドラゴン = Western-style dragons). and that's about as much as we know right now about...anything in regards to what he might look like. so I've been trying very hard not to form too much of a mental picture of him, because I'm still hoping we'll get to see him (or at least a silhouette)! ergo, in my head, he kind of looks like this:

so handsome. surely Malenoa fell in love at first glance.

I do think the funniest thing about what we've learned so far is that Malleus being kind of quiet and reserved and dignified...absolutely did not come from the Draconias. and he sure as heck did not learn it from Lilia. so he probably got a lot of that from his dad! the vibe I get from how Lilia talks about him is that he could be a bit of a prim little fancyboy sometimes, but was (mostly) willing to go along with his wife's zany antics out of love. he sounds sweet, honestly! I'm sorry he (maybe) died. :(

my favorite thing about Mal's parents is that Malenoa and Lilia's dynamic was "long-suffering guard and princess who has long been the cause of said suffering":

but then they would happily join forces in order to gang up on Revaan:

tl;dr Revaan was the straightman in Malenoa and Lilia's comedy act until it all ended horribly whoops

[iratusmus]

scourge unleashed aus mean nothing to me unless he is a catboy

[fisherrprince]

oh so alisaie’s exaggerated bully behavior is 80% fanon. saying this she casually picks up a large rock

[kingofbodyrolls]

THIS!!! THIS RIGHT HERE!!! Dia, you absolute genius—👏👏👏—you nailed it!

We just want to be seen, you know? That feeling of someone out there catching the light in your words… it fuels us.

And oh, how true this hits. Writing my original story has made me realize just how much I crave that connection. Fanfiction is like a message in a bottle—I write it for myself, yes, but the intention is always to cast it out into the sea and hope someone picks it up. But my original story? That’s a secret garden, locked away, and I don’t even know if I’ll ever let anyone in. Maybe one day. If I finish it. If. But therein lies the cruel twist—it’s hard to feel motivated when there’s no feedback, no readers to react, no sparks to bounce off. So, yeah… it’s going reeeeeeal slow (thank god for my husband, who’s volunteered as tribute to read it—bless his patient soul).

And those people demanding updates? I honestly don’t know how writers survive that! The stress alone would bury me alive. This is supposed to be our escape, our joy, not another 9-to-5 hustle. I’ve only written so much because I was on sick leave, and honestly? It was therapy. Writing saved me when I felt like I was falling apart.

Dia, let me just say it: I FUCKING LOVE YOUR STORIES. Like, seriously, every single word is a masterpiece. You are stupidly talented—it’s unreal—and that brilliant brain of yours? Sexy as hell 💕

These last few weeks, though… Ugh, I feel this. Even comments don’t hit the same anymore. Don’t get me wrong—I’m still grateful, always. But it’s not about the praise anymore. (Okay, maybe early on I did have a little praise kink 😂) Now, I just want to know that people felt something. Tell me what resonated. What weirded you out. What made you laugh or cry or scream into your pillow. What detail of worldbuilding caught your eye. Tell me anything, as long as it’s real 🫶

But honestly, Dia… I feel like I’m standing at the edge of something. It feels too late for me. The comments are lovely, but they’re not enough to pull me back from this weird, liminal space I’m in. I don’t know if I’ll ever finish the rest of my WIP list. Maybe I’ve crossed that point of no return line, the one where you can’t go back. And that thought makes me ache in ways I can’t quite put into words 😢Still, thank you for being here—for reading (just adding stuff to your tbr counts too!), for listening, for existing. You’re a star, Dia. And stars don’t go unnoticed, even if the sky feels lonely sometimes 🫂✨

So… yesterday, I received an email from AO3, and I’ve been crying ever since. Perhaps it’s silly—this flood of emotion over a comment, a review—but it felt like a light cutting through the fog. You see, I’ve been slowly coming to terms with the idea that maybe I shouldn’t write fanfiction anymore, and yet… this single moment of kindness warmed my heart in ways I can’t quite describe 🥹🫂

It doesn’t take much to move me; just a few words can brighten my day, lift me up from the quiet doubts that linger. That’s why I, as a writer, keep yearning for comments and reviews—not out of vanity, but out of a simple question: Do you even like my stories? Should I keep going? Without an echo to my words, with only silence or the faintest of replies, the answer feels like a quiet, heavy no.

And it stings. It really does. That’s why I haven’t been here much. Because if I’m being honest? It hurts. But still, it’s okay. I look back at everything I’ve written, and my heart swells with pride. These stories have been my solace, my healing, my way of pouring out hurt, sadness, pain, and trauma—and transforming them into characters who struggle, grow, and, in the end, find comfort. Writing has always been my way of giving myself a hug—a quiet reminder that everything will be okay. And it will. I know that.

Maybe I’ll keep writing, not fanfiction, but something just for me. Something I’ll tuck away, like a secret world where my heart can wander freely.

I know this all sounds a bit dramatic, and maybe it is—after all, it’s Christmas Day here, and nothing has gone quite the way I hoped. And so, here I am, sitting on Tumblr with tears in my eyes. But I needed to say this:

Thank you.

Thank you for being here. Thank you for reading my stories. Thank you for existing. Each and every one of you means more to me than you’ll ever know.

I wish you the warmest, most peaceful Holiday season, and may it be filled with love, light, and little moments that heal🎄💜