#seriously lotsa spoilers in here and a lot of feelings

[tsuki-sennin]

Hail to the King, baby! Ohsama Sentai! Kingohger! ...or is it King Ohger? I'll tag it both just in case. It's a brand new Sentai, for a brand new tag!

"Rejoice O Swarming Evil! You're My King!"

I am immensely excited, so no more delaying.

Spoilers, I guess...

-Five Heroes, and their God.

-Well, the CG is certainly... better!

-I love the look of this planet.

-Tikyu, I believe? Might as well just call it Yarph.

-The Bugnarak are coming back!

-Pardon you?

-It's all very stylized and detailed, I appreciate that a lot.

-Shugoddam! A... very funny name, I hope it's not foreshadowing.

-Ahhhh, a festival~!

-I feel at home already.

-Lots and lotsa bug folk!

-A ceremony?

-The kings are comin'~!

-A whole roundtable, coming forth.

-Hello, you must be Lord Racules.

-I am honored to make your presence.

-This is Queen Himeno of Ishabana.

-Oh lord, that's so much shiny.

-I mean no offense, your majesty, but this is almost certainly going to be the most CG heavy Sentai season yet.

-Toufu! ...that might be the dumbest name for any of these kingdoms.

-Kaguragi Dybowski! ...I didn't realize Poland was a country Toei even knew existed.

-Ah yep, this one! Everyone was talking about them a hell of a lot.

-King and Chief Magistrate of Gokkan. Has so much GNC swag that it practically emanates off them.

-Thank you for this, Toei, seriously.

-Chief Justice Rita, I love you already.

-And of course Yanma-shachou. Cyberpunk himself.

-I might end up calling you Yanmega by accident, sorry in advance.

-Oh fuck, he lives in Peta, run my lord, they're gonna use your autism to lie about milk!

-Here they come. Royalty in a procession of CGI.

-Legendary Swords~!

-Considering how big and important it seems to be, I'm assuming Shugoddamn's also the center of the land's religion?

-That's pretty neat, kinda like the Theocracy of Allistel from Radiant Historia.

-Oh shit, real location!

-Sorry, I don't mean to harp on the CGI so much, it's honestly not bad at all, but goddamn.

-I suppose this was the blood price to pay for the demand of real suits for every ranger.

-Gira! King of Evil!

-Conquer the world!

-Oh come now Kogane-san, you gotta get into it!

-Oh fuck, taxes.

-Hmmm... I'm sensing a corrupt bureaucracy in our midst.

-Gira comin' in to commit a crime.

-Too cringe for Kogane-san.

-Yeah! Get fucked!

-Doing it for the people!

-Quite a good guy, this King of Evil.

-No more petty squabbles. Now is the time for unity.

-King Racles, offers is life for the people of the world.

-Oop.

-Seems like we've already broken down.

-"You need me. You need my power."

-Yeah, I don't trust you, Racles.

-Damn, Rita don't fuck around, do they?

-"I'm the top", yeah that's what they all say.

-Jururira?

-Sounds tasty.

-Oh fuck, here they come.

-The bad guy bugs!

-Big Daddy Desnarak.

-"Move out, my minions- I mean, my friends! Royal Arms!"

-Have to admit, the CG's at least growing on me a lot more than I expected it to.

-Kogane!

-Homegirl's dying!

-"The King... he'll protect us."

-...seems like that was an empty lie.

-Dickhead king.

-Jesus Christ, this man is heartless.

-"Once Emperor Desnarak's head rolls, Yanma Gust's and the people of N'Kosopa shall soon follow."

-Right, you're super evil.

-Hotdamn, Himeno's kicking serious ass.

-Everybody is, holy crap.

-Damn Toei, I see you.

-Hohohohohoho!

-Yanma's haxxor powers are no match for divine tradition.

-So that's why they pushed the whole King of Evil thing so hard.

-All the world shall be your enemy, Prince with a Thousand Enemies.

-Gira! Conquer the world in the name of God and people!

-Big Bug!

-"HOW!?"

-Qua God!

-March for the King of Evil, my friends!

-Royal Arms!

-Oooooooh, I love the amber

-You Are The King!

-Kuwagon! Let's fly!

-Oh my lord

-Okay, that's cool

-Shugod!

-Right out the gate! Time to combine!

-God has descended!

-Hot damn, I'm enjoying this a lot.

-Oh God, where did the Spider Shot come from

-"Insignificant worm! Bow before your King!"

-Yeah, this is gonna be a fun ride.

-Thank you, Kuwagon.

-The kings

-"Bring the traitor's head to me, minions!"

-Headed to N'Kosopa!

-Oh shit, ad read.

-OH FUCK ACE

-Ohhhhh, this is the SHT bumper.

-Sorry, the subs I usually find omit these.

-That's pretty sick.

-Love how he brought Big Sis Tsumuri with him, that's cute.

[bex-pendragon]

I guess now is as good a time as any to collect my thoughts about the Loki series because I have very mixed feelings about it.

I want to start by saying thank you to the wardrobe department for letting this guy run around with his sleeves rolled up for multiple episodes. It was very much appreciated.

Spoilers to follow...

I also want to preface this by saying that I was never one of those hardcore Loki stans. I've always found the character compelling, but that's more down to the actor's portrayal than anything else. This is one of those cases of exactly the right actor for exactly the right role. (And yeah, I think Tom Hiddleston is attractive. What do you want from me, I'm superficial.)

After enjoying WandaVision and TFATWS, I was feeling pretty low-key about Loki. Just watch the show, they said. It'll be fun, they said.

WELL.

I was not expecting to have all these feelings about it??!

Let's start with some complaints:

I thought the pacing was a little off compared to WV and TFATWS. Episode 1 dragged. Things picked up in ep. 2, then things got WILD in episode 3, then episodes 4 and 5 were both solid.

I kind of wish it had ended right there because I, for one, was having a pretty good time.

This show was different than I expected it to be. When they first announced it, I had a grand vision of Loki running amok through the timeline and the TVA cleaning up after him, like an even more chaotic version of Legends of Tomorrow. After Thor: Ragnarok, I was hoping for some fun shenanigans. But, as this is an earlier version of Loki, we got existential angst instead.

We did, however, get Old Man Loki and this hilarious alligator:

I had a feeling that they would leave us with a fractured timeline for the final episode because that's the direction the MCU is moving in. I also saw the betrayal coming, even though I was really hoping they'd surprise me.

The series suffers from being the first chapter in a larger story. I think it would've been more affective to end the series with Loki and Sylvie venturing into the Mansion at the End of Time and then hit is with a post-credits teaser of the Big Bad. That way it would've felt a bit more wrapped up and we could've been left feeling good about a second season instead of being ANNOYED that we have to wait however long to see how things work out. However: the actor absolutely nailed it! He's going to be an amazing villain in future movies!

They balanced the self-contained story/piece of a larger story aspect much better in WandaVision. They wrapped up the story. It was sad but cathartic. Wanda's journey was so deep and I still get emotinoal thinking a bout it. And we still got the multiverse tease in the post credits scene.

TFATWS also told a self-contained story. Yes, it left us with plot threads to pick up later, but the main story was wrapped up. The characters got to learn and grow and it was so well done.

Loki was also on a great growth arc. I'm not complaining about that. They managed to take a character I've always had mixed feelings about and make me care about him! And they acknowledged that he’s bi! (Not that they did much with it, but I wasn’t expecting them to. This is the MCU, not the Arrowverse. I’ve learned to expect nothing more than blink-and-miss rep. That’s all they’re willing to give us at this point. The MCU is woefully behind when it comes to LGBT rep. I know I should be mad about it, but in this case, I’m willing to let bicons be bicons.)

But they just left way too much stuff up in the air for my liking. I don't mind an open-ended season, but it's so much better to wrap up the current plot and introduce the next thing! They... kinda did that? But with more questions than answers and in the most heartbreaking way possible!

There were a lot of interesting new characters introduced. Hunter B-15 was a standout, and it was awesome to have Gugu Mbatha-Raw and Owen Wilson rounding out the cast.

But SYLVIE! Sylvie broke my heart, y'all.

She's got everything: tragic backstory, powers, a dramatic lowering-the-hood moment. It's such a gamble to put an established character up against a newcomer. At this point, we've been watching stories about Loki for a decade. His name is the title of the show! And yet, Sylvie stole the show.

I hope this character sticks around, because I want to know more about her backstory and her exploits.

It's so wild to me because I (and many people on the internet) envisioned Katie McGrath as the gender-bent version of Loki. I'm a diehard fan of hers. I was never expecting it would actually happen, mind you. It was just a nice thought. And typecasting because, y’know, she looks like THAT.

I’m glad they went in a different direction when they cast this role. As much as I love Katie, I think it would’ve been too distracting. I was glad to see an unfamiliar face in the role. It skewered my expectations in the best way. I thought Sophia Di Martino had great screen presence and she held her own against the cast of more well-known actors. I also liked her dynamic with Hiddleston.

"And speaking of which…

Guys, I ship it.

This is probably an unpopular opinion, given the fact that they’re variations of the same person, but I was really rooting for these two! They totally snuck up on me. This is not the kind of ship I usually go for. I mean, it’s weird, right?

AND YET.

There’s something to be said about learning to love yourself. It’s heteronormative that Loki’s "self" ended up being a girl, but I liked them, ok? I can’t explain it. Maybe it’s just me being bi and thinking they’re both cute, but here we are. All aboard the chaotic bi express!

After Sylvie's big reveal in episode two, I was like: wow, look at her! I can’t wait to see Loki get his ass kicked by his alt-universe self! Then in episode 3 they were fighting and going off on an adventure together, bickering all the way. Then with the singing? And the eye contact? WTF?

Then we get the hand-holding in episode 4:

Then with the hurt looks, the back-to-back battle couple fighting, the EMOTIONS. When Loki thought she was pruned? OUCH. The acting! When he actually DID get pruned? The heartbreak! He was so soft with her in that last scene and like an idiot, I fell for it.

Then they meet up again in episode 5 and he RUNS TOWARD HER like he hasn’t seen her in years?! Getting past the enemy with the power of friendship? Them SHARING THE BLANKET??!!

Yeah, I’m a sucker. I’m a clown. I played myself. They gave me all the tropes. All that was missing was a dance scene with UST. *slides a 20 dollar bill to the writers as a bribe for season 2*

I totally saw the betrayal coming. And it HURT. I really don’t need any more tragic ships in my armada and these two are probably doomed, right?

Probably. Am I still going to ship it? Definitely.

And speaking of ships: it doesn’t have to me Loki/Sylvie OR Loki/Mobius. Loki has two hands!

Anyway, I just needed to ramble about all of that because my emotions are doing a thing. I really wasn't expecting to feel this way! I know it will never happen but I kind of want to see Loki, Mobius, and Sylvie to go to New Asgard and meet up with Thor. Imagine the shenanigans!

But most importantly: I think someday, when they meet up again, Thor will be proud of the man his brother is growing into. He's still got a ways to go to get there, but he's further along in his path than Sylvie is. I hope she gets there too.

What is love? Lady thou woundest mine heart.

[vrisrezis]

Again until I get more non ososan rqs yall are getting self indulgent GARBAGE here is my girl who deserves better <//3 I just want her to be happy with somebody who loves her!

Slight sashanne shipping in here ;p

MARCY RELATIONSHIP HCS!

- first of all imma go with the idea you’re in her little friend group so you guys can go on double dates with Anne and Sasha <3 but that would take place after amphibia LAWL

- thing is, with dating Marcy!!! She’s soooo nervous but excited at the same time! Like she obviously has that habit of rambling on, but this is even moreso with you because she gets so nervous and excited around you!

- he loves playing video games with you too! (And when you’re in amphibia, yknow.. other games like flipwart… she lets you win on purpose and has to explain that and Andrias just smirks knowingly)

- yknow for somebody that’s very nervous she is very physical, seriously! She can often be found grabbing onto your hand, hugging you, she’s always trying to touch you in some way physically!

- she also obviously has abandonment issues but doesn’t always act upon them or talk about them with you? Like she gets really sad whenever you go off on a mission and it’s very noticeable so Andrias usually likes to distract her with flipwart or a new mission of her own but yknow

- she just has a hard time opening up about these things sometimes which causes a lot of bottling up emotions and all that

- lotsa sleepovers like all the time LOL

- also she gets really happy whenever you interact with those close to her and show a close relationship, she gets really happy whenever you get along with Anne or Sasha! Because they’re like her family honestly!

- likes nuzzling you <//3

- cheek kisses too! Loves em!

- usually the two of you go on missions together, naturally you worry about your clumsy gf

- but when you guys meet Anne again it’s a whole lotta fun! Though admittedly Marcy finds herself jealous of Anne because she’s able to get so close and form a good bond with you! She’s always been jealous of Anne’s ability to bond with others, sometimes she feels like you’re closer to Anne..

- but hey some reassurance and hugs go a long way!

- better when Sasha comes back at least, cause Sasha easily distracts Anne’s gay ass

- she does this thing where she just squished your cheeks together and is like “babe. Listen to me.”

- during missions are like the only time she’s not clingy or touching you tbh

- also that one ep where Marcy and everyone else had to dress up . You bet her dumbass just kept blushing and staring at you in your nice outfit, any compliments sent her way and she’s dying!!

- she’s definitely an amity 2.0 btw, her entire face just gets all red when you compliment her, she lets out a nervous giggle and gives you a smile as she tries to come up with some compliment for you

- true colors spoilers as well as s3 spoilers but ;(

- she grabbed onto your hands with those tears in her eyes as she confessed her heart and soul out to you, the truth, her betrayal. She felt so heartbroken when you pulled away, you had never done that before. It hurt her more than words could explain to have you do that.

- but with everything that went down that day, you wished you could’ve helped Marcy in that moment, helped her from getting stabbed by that monster you trusted.

- you wanted to help her, but that big oaf was too strong for you to even get close.

- she felt so horrible about what happened though

- you, along with two gay newts try to help Marcy, but she was just so happy to see you again. She didn’t even think about what happened for a moment in your drunken state, being overly affectionate, telling you how much she loved you. How she’s kinda jealous of Anne sometimes, how she really really wants you all to herself sometimes but that’s so selfish of her.. isn’t it?

- what she did was selfish, but you sympathized with her ;(

- you still had a lot of thinking to do though. You weren’t gonna break up with her.. but you needed some time to yourself

- but you quickly realized you’d get that time.. and not in the way you wanted.. as Marcy soon became Darcy, you watched in horror as you could do nothing. You felt horrible, her eyes bore into yours, a horrified look on both of her faces, hers screaming ‘help me’ and yours screaming ‘I wish I could. I’m so sorry’

[muffintonic]

MY CROSSOVER LIVEBLOG

Yes, I decided to just watch the PnF/MML leak instead of waiting because i’d rather not have to dodge spoilers until January. (Also, i’m still going to buy the new season on iTunes when it comes out, so whatever.)

For just the analysis bits, look for actual paragraphs instead of single sentences.

Doof was seriously considering Cavendish’s offer: his nnnnnnnnnnno was drawn out, it had more of a curious/hesitant tone at the beginning, and he freaking glanced down. In the end, he’s already got a boyfriend, though.

Continuing PnF’s habit of showing Buford and Baljeet hanging out alone, I see....nice.

DID BALJEET JUST DAB

They’ve already done “Act Your Age” and confirmed that Doof stayed a high school teacher after “Doof 101,” but he seems to be an agent here, so.......”The OWCA Files” takes place...before....this???? So this special takes place.........after “Doof 101??″ PNF USED TO BE SO GOOD AT CONTINUITY; GIVE ME SOME INFO, HERE.

DOOF CONTINUING TO SEMI-UNDERSTAND PERRY IS MY LIFEBLOOD.

DUCKY MO-GO

BUFORD STOP SACRIFICING BALJEET

I always love Phineas being supportive of Ferb talking/expressing himself. :’)

YES. YES, IT HAS. THREE YEARS.

Oh, Phineas.

They already played darts across the city in “Bullseye!” and badminton in Across the Second Dimension....isn’t this kind of redundant?

It’s actually pretty lucky that Doof’s time machine has food on it...otherwise they’d have been long-dead.

PERRY AND DOOF PLAYING HOT SAUCE TOGETHER. :’’))

Cavendish insisting that Dakota be careful a ton of times: good stuff.

YEAR. MONTH. CUP-HOLDER. I LOVE YOU, DOOF.

THAT’S RIGHT, HE’S GOOD AT INVENTING THINGS!!! HE’S A LEGITIMATE SCIENTIST, AND SOMETIMES SCIENTISTS CAN BE LIKE THAT! (source: i’m a doctorate student)

How long has it been since they started openly taking over, exactly? For the kids to have been aware? Phineas and Ferb knew long enough to have a satellite workshop with a lot of inventions housed in it...

“Weaponize it?“ Buford, PLEASE.

They already studied good/bad luck in “Just Our Luck,” so this shouldn’t be too hard.

SOLDIERS?? Phineas is Ready for war. D: Poor baby.

“We...have no frame of reference for that“ THAT’S RIGHT, THEY HAVE THE WORLD ON A SILVER PLATTER. Phineas and Ferb are, like, the opposite of Murphy’s Law.

“Lemony fresh.“ God, i’ve missed Buford.

Doof is really stuck on that soda.....mood.

QUIRKY WORKY.

Candace being pragmatic, but also knowing that her brother is going to want to keep Milo around: good stuff.

DON’T BE RUDE ABOUT HER NECK. SHE WAS A MODEL IN “Runaway Runway.”

FOUR MEN AND A PLATYPUS. ....I still don’t like how MML uses cutaway gags (and physical humor, actually)--too Family Guy for my taste.

Oh, shut up, Cavendish. He’s the one who invented time travel in the first place.

HIS VOICE IS GREAT, SHUT UP!

NOW HE’S TAKING IT OUT ON DAKOTA??? SHUT. UPPPPPPPP!

So escape is shorthand for “self-destruct?”

WHY DIDN’T PERRY GO WITH HIM. PERRY, THAT’S YOUR BEST FRIEND WHO’S SAD!!!

They’re going to beat the pistachions with the soda, aren’t they.

Mr. Slushy Dawg reference??

Doof.....already built a time machine all the way back in “Lotsa Latkes,” though.... I miss PnF’s excellent continuity............ (his apartment’s interior in the beginning of this special was different, too, yet we saw in AYA that it hadn’t changed in 10 years...and what happened to Xavier Onassis, anyway?)

I’m still not completely on-board with the whole “Doof-is-Professor-Time-and-he’s-venerated-in-the-future” thing. He wanted to be big and important in PnF after spending most of his life being ignored or actively bullied, but by the end realized that he didn’t need to be the ruler of the Tri-State area or anything to be loved and have a good life....this kind of reveal feels like it’s sort of flying in the face of that.

Why do Dwampy love rap so much? I’m not a fan.

THE ISLAND OF LOST DAKOTAS??????!

THE PHINEAS AND FERB EFFECT = THE MYSTERIOUS FORCE

Remember how Candace has super bad luck? Like, Phineas even commented on it in “S’Winter” when she kept getting the brunt of obstacles. Doof seems to have this kind of bad luck, too. My theory: certain people, like the original Murphy, have concentrations of the negative ions that cause bad stuff to happen. Murphy just happened to have a lot, and they got passed down to his descendants. Doof and Candace happen to have negative ions, but just not to the level of those descended from Murphy’s line.

BUUUUUUFORD

CAVENDISH FINALLY LEARNS

THEY’RE HUGGING HIM

UGH, CARE ABOUT THE ENVIRONMENT, GUYS. Wait, wasn’t Doof into “Greevil” (green + evil) and stuff before? What happened to that??

I mean, they don’t really need the suit...Phineas and Ferb can just stand on either side of Milo.

THE POWER OF ORANGE SODA REPELS YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ISABELLA!!!!! Looks like she was getting ready for war/a rescue mission, too.

Perry saving Doof from falling...ah, yes, just like always.

CAVENDISH SAVING DAKOTA FOR ONCE

“And if you get hurt, I don’t have one either“ CAVENDISH CONFIRMED TO BE WILLING TO ISLAND HIMSELF FOR DAKOTA

Okay, I just can’t take this whole dramatic “compassion” scene seriously because the MML art style looks like Word clipart. Sorry, Dwampy. (I think they should’ve used slo-mo, too)

Perry protecting his family. :’)

DAKOTA JUST BODILY PICKED UP CAVENDISH AND RAN AWAY WITH HIM. STRONG.

IRVING!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

BUFORD!! AMANDA!!! (my favorite MML character)

RADIOACTIVE WATERMELON. Why are watermelons such a running gag for Dwampy?

BLOWTORCH AND PEANUT BUTTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

LINDA AND LAWRENCE GOT PISTACHION’D, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Come to think of it, i’m getting some “Night of the Living Pharmacists” vibes, now.

I think Dwampy left Isabella out for half the special and got her pistachion’d so quickly because they knew she’d be able to save everyone otherwise (like in NOTLP).

Nice speech, Doof!

So....this timeline is originally 15 years too early for Doof to be Professor Time. In AYA, which takes place 10 years in the future, he has white hair. When he comes back through time from the future right here, he doesn’t have white hair. WHAT THE HECK, CONTINUITY?! I’m so disappointed.

God, the way they do time travel in this series is....so confusing. Give me BTTF simplicity any day. Honestly, realistically going back and stopping the whole thing in the first place should have created an altered timeline....or this whole thing happened in an altered timeline in the first place since originally nobody was supposed to be replaced with pistachions until Derek got knocked into the timestream.

Dakota hugging Cavendish and calling him partner: GOOD STUFF.

Again, Doof’s building has to have been rebuilt some time between now and AYA.

Mmmmm, so MML takes place on the other side of town. In Jefferson County. So, now we know PnF takes place in Danville, which is in Jefferson County, in the Tri-State Area.

Okay, it’s confirmed: MML is merely an OVA for PnF. Dwampy honestly should have just either continued PnF, or let it die a good death as a wonderful period piece with fantastic continuity. Seriously, Doof was 47 in PnF and was a teen in the 80s....MML takes place after 2016, so DOOF WOULDN’T BE THAT AGE IN 2016. THERE WERE FLIP PHONES AT THE BEGINNING OF PNF. GOD. I’m beginning to consider not thinking of anything that happens in MML to be canon to PnF, especially since it seems to take place in the “The OWCA Files” continuity where they got Doof’s ocelot backstory (and bedroom) completely wrong.

[seenashwrite]

I feel inept (or worse) with everything I have ever created. How can writers get to the point of confidence and certainty with their works? Is it worth trying to please the masses when we can't please ourselves? Am I poking the bear? It just seems you are a voice of discernment and I am trying to ask the write questions.

This is a tricky kebab to de-skewer, it’s stacked. But not impossible to stomach. It is not, after all, an alt-world crispy lizard.

Cool your jets, Sammy.

Hopefully it’ll be of relief to know that I’m not going to tell you to write because it makes you happy, and write for you, and then the readers will come. Not because it’s not true, but (a) because you know that, and (b) because it’s a bit of a pat answer. Touching on the second part of your question briefly - the whole chumming the water scenario - hypothetically, were you to do this, I waffle in my speculations as to what degree it would be successful due to the doldrums.

Whether it’s cookbook fic or the quality stuff you’re aiming for, people will be able to tell if you’re going through the motions. Well, some won’t, because they aren’t, um, discerning, to borrow your word, and others are just reading for some time-killing fun, and there’s a subset of those folks with wicked senses of humor, so the worse the fic, the better. Having said that, I’m a big proponent of assuming all readers are witty and intelligent, and via the writing, I’m going to treat them as such, and so they’ll know if I’m not feeling it. 

So. Back to that ineptitude feeling part. Spoiler alert: I can’t fix this…

Double spoiler alert: …but you totes can…

Triple spoiler alert: …and there’s some concrete steps you can take to do it vs. trying to Tinkerbell it away with thinking happy thoughts. Because, blerrrgh. Fairies. Nah. #Dean approved

Oh, and also? Since I picked this scab off-and-on over the course of 36 hours when things I wanted to say popped to mind, it mutated. We shall split this into two posts.

Part One: So Do I Just Blow At This Fanfic Stuff?

PS: Dunno if you “know” me, but FYI this should hopefully be an easy read with lotsa snark and gifs interspersed and, oh yeah, potty mouth.

C/P for convenience: 

“I feel inept (or worse) with everything I have ever created. How can writers get to the point of confidence and certainty with their works?”

I’m gonna ask a rhetorical question that’s yours to answer, because no one else can:

Why is that?

I mean in an objective sense, not in a blanket sense of “Well, Nash, you dumb bitch, my self-confidence blows”; what I’m driving at are the non-emotional factors. If we go emotion, you’re gonna start subconsciously lumping things in with the writing part (i/e - putting blame on yourself for other areas of life where you perceive yourself as not being “good enough”), so we should go the other route. Make this as fact-based as possible.

What facts are you basing this on? Do you publish stuff, and not get a lot of hearts/notes/reblogs/followers/etc.? What’re your metrics? Put plainly: Is this you being hard on yourself, or is there something concrete to back it up?

(A person who can’t act, for instance, should probably find something else to do after 20 years of auditioning with no parts. An artist who hasn’t been featured in a show or sold one painting. A chef who can’t make it past the line to sous. You get what I’m saying. There’s undeniable evidence there, because after a lengthy period of time, the chances that no casting director, no curator, and no head chef have picked up on the prowess of these special snowflakes is virtually nil. They blow. Their confidence has morphed into delusion. They need to accept they should stop trying to make fetch happen.)

Now, based upon this—

“Is it worth trying to please the masses when we can’t please ourselves?”

—I’m assuming that’s the case, that part about you having something concrete driving at least part of your self-assessment. My interpretation of your statement (and correct me if I’m not tracking with you) is that you think your style isn’t appealing to majority of the readership ‘round here, ergo it’s feeding this feeling of ineptitude. I can’t offer advice on fixing what other life aspects could be acting as the base of that feeling, but the pile-on feeling from the writing aspect of it, that we can work with.

I’d have to have more information to make a detailed, precise call on whether this is a skill-based scenario, namely - assuming you trust my tastes to a degree - reading your stuff. Which isn’t likely to happen unless you’ve got a sneaky way of recommending it to me via a friend or something a good bit of time from now when this isn’t fresh on my mind*, because I can’t know who you are or connect it to this conversation, or we’re automatically injecting bias.

(*It would have to be a really, really, really long time from now; I have a pretty sharp memory; it’d need to be too far out to be helpful for you in the near future.)

What I can tell about you without reading any of your stories is that you are above average in intelligence and are well-educated, whether formally or self-taught, based upon the words you used and how they are used - and if you thesaurus'ed it, you’re smart enough not to pick glaringly extravagant words - and you were succinct and expressed the issue well, with sincere concern that didn’t go all sad-sack Eeyore.

You can write.

But can you tell a story? Can you capture the essence of known characters and present this with accuracy? Do you have original ideas, which you can distill into interesting plots? Etc.? Again, I can’t know for sure. Now, a way that you could get a taste of what I’d call you on were I acting as your editor?

There is a *plethora* of objective criteria over at The Nail’s HQ, and I’ve recently re-done the pages so they are mobile-friendly (bless octomoosey and his brilliant designs). Like, seriously - they look okay on my laptop and huge-ass desktop monitor, but baby do they shine on phones. #bless octomoosey part deux  The foundation of all of it comes from advice from pros, and whether I/we personally like their stuff or not, they’ve all been highly successful and managed to appeal to the masses while keeping a high bar. They don’t cater to the lowest common denominator. And even though I personally may not love all the fics I put on The Nail in a given edition (‘ships, too shmoopy, too angsty, whatever), they’re solidly hitting, at minimum, at least three of those “guiding standards”.  

Great, so, there’s Nash’s Edit Yourself At Home! kit… which brings me to a disclaimer.

I don’t have mass appeal.

What I do have is a solid, loyal reader base who gives me phenomenal feedback (a handful of them giving me fantastic constructive critique when needed) on the reg, and I couldn’t ask for more. And because I am human and I like knowing people dig what I make and because, as a grown-ass adult, I am capable of assigning value to and caring about two or more things at the same time, I would also totes ask for more - not of them, I mean I’d like more people to join in. I would love to have that lil’ bottom left hand corner sporting a number in the hundreds within the day of publish. That’s motivating. That’s telling me people are into what I make. That’s telling me I am super good at—–

Wait.

That last bit…  Does it? Mean that I’m super-good at it? Does that metric alone paint a good picture of my talent? Hmmmm. Well. How to put.

Oh, but fuck no.

And if that “oh, but fuck no” didn’t serve as a tonal lead-in, let me be clear that this is the part where Nash Shoves Logic Into The Closet And Locks The Door For A Minute, And Vents Her Frustrations, With Which You And Others Reading This Could Perhaps Empathize And Are Giving Me Virtual High Fives And Yasss Gurrrrl-s Through The Screen At Completion Of Rant.

[clears throat]

Have you seen some of the absolute garbage that screams through the Tumblrsphere like a cat with a bell on its tail? Holy moses, is it shit. Same shit, different title. One example of the problems: I don’t recognize Sam or Dean more than half the time. Then I see a bazillionty notes on it, a bunch of feedback on folks’ reblogs, ask-kissing©℗™ talking about how the writer captured the guys so perfectly, and they seemed just like they are in the show and… and… and… and… and I’m all:

ARE WE WATCHING THE SAME SHOW?!?!  The men in many of these stories are mannequins/Real Dolls with the faces of JA and JP slapped atop. They are what the writers want them to be, not what the characters are, and it’s lazy because we have 13-odd years of scripts and visuals to glean from, and it takes consideration and practice to pull it off. 

Same goes for working a reader insert, making that person juuuuust vague enough so that readers can actually, um, picture themselves in the role. But what do we get instead? Most of the time there is zero depth to ol’ Y/N. Zip. Nada. She’s so tough, she’s nigh on invulnerable (until she’s not, so she can be saved, and the Mannequin can pine in the meantime), or she’s so fragile and mousy and immature I wanna cunt punt her, or she’s the perfect pussy with next to no flaws, and regardless she’s getting moved into the bunker with an engagement ring and/or Winchester fetus,and ermahgerd, total window-closers.

But they’re clearly doing something right, and they took the time to give us a story free of charge, and….and…. and yet….

(I am aware I am abusing those gifs of late, I’ll get through it, but today is not that day)

Okay, okay, okay, what does this have to do with you - the answer is that you can actually use these atomic farts as a handbook, as well (which ties into Pt.2 of the question, and we’ll get there. Eventually.), assuming you decide you don’t want to chum the waters, and want to do your thing.

(1) The Nail pages are gonna give you some objective things to work with and aim for; 

(2) those truly inept, supposedly based-upon-SPN stories are gonna give you some objective things to avoid like the plague;

And that combo will hopefully….

(3) get a draft out of you that has you sitting back and going, “I’m not 100% that this is gold, but I’ve sure got something shiny, here.”

It’s a feeling of trepidation, it’s not your ultimate goal of “confidence and certainty with [my] works”, but we’ve stepped out of the feeling of ineptitude, and that’s the point. You didn’t arrive at feeling inept overnight, that kebab’s got about four or five veg before it gets to the meat (and several are onions, always with the onions, MORE RED PEPPERS, UNCLE HANK!), so you’re not gonna get to that nice thick sirloin in one sitting, either.

Say, are you a vegetarian? This non-tofu kebab metaphor may be falling flat if so. But transparency and all, I confess I’d rather have alt-world lizard kebab than tofu. Dean, what say you?

He feels me.

One way you’re going to start feeling certain in your works—-

and listen, you know this, but I’ll say it anyway: nobody’s ever 100% certain

—-is when people zero in on specific things you did right, and if they stood out to a reader, they likely stood out to you, so it’s gonna be all “YES!” in your head. When this starts happening, make two documents:

(1) Fic_Feedback_Yes- sort the (positive, praising, specific-things-noted) comments by story - copy them verbatim- read whenever ineptitude feels start creeping back whilst writing/editing story

(2) Fic_Feedback_No- sort the (constructive critique, helpful, specific-things-noted) comments by story - copy them verbatim- read whenever ineptitude feels start creeping back whilst writing/editing story

“Nash, that’s the same fucking thing,” you say.

Yeah, I know.  We ain’t here for ego-feeding, we’re here for confidence, and we don’t get confidence without being aware of not just what we’re nailing, but also of our Achilles’ heels. I joke about “filling the ol’ ego tank”, but it’s legit not an ego thing. Ego things we’re going to touch on in Pt. 2, how it can blind us, and then we’re cranking out stuff that, when cut into, is a dried husk like that turkey in Christmas Vacation.

(WHY do I keep talking about meat)

So, here we are, back to the numbers. Assuming we get you to mild trepidation stage - normal for writers getting into their groove - how do we get you to the point where your stuff is yielding commentary for your docs, for your growth? 

Well, that won’t happen right away, people have to get a feel of you beyond your stories (we’ll talk about that in Pt. 2, as well), so initially it’s going to manifest as hitting the heart, maybe some generic “This is awesome!”-s, maybe some reblogs without commentary, and that’s typical, and we’ll take it, it still goes into your “Mass Appeal” metrics, lets you know you’re getting closer to a broader readership, that you’ve done something/several somethings right….

….which is a nice place to stop Part One. 😉

PART TWO